The Proactive Caregiver Podcast: Recent Episodes
Jessica Lizel Cannon
Specializing in educating others on how to be a Proactive Caregiver by targeting the caregiver rather than the care recipient. If you cannot take care of yourself then you cannot take care of your loved one.
Listen to part two of Jessica's interviews with Radio Talk Show Host of Chatting with Betsy on Passionate World Talk Radio - Betsy Wurzel. Betsy shares her personal experiences of how Dementia affected her life and marriage, which made me wonder. Do you think Dementia should be a public health priority? Betsy shares her response now that she has a new perspective after living through a chaotic experience with her husband, Matt.
How can we protect ourselves from becoming another statistic? Rather than focus only on the brain we must focus on what is affecting the brain negatively. Our vascular system, inflammation, and environment are key.
The more we can learn from real caregiver experiences, the closer we will be to creating a cultural shift. Dementia, which includes Alzheimer's, is a disease of accountability and we are the only ones that can stop it.
Listen in as Jessica interviews the Caregiver advocate, and Radio Talk Show Host of Chatting with Betsy on Passionate World Talk Radio - Betsy Wurzel. Betsy shares her personal experiences of how Dementia affected her life and marriage. She also shares how denying caregivers support from the medical industry makes everyone connected suffer even more. Caring for a loved one living with Dementia is already challenging. When one doctor does not believe a caregiver, then it's time for a second opinion.
The more we can learn from real caregiver experiences, the closer we will be to slow the growing statistics and creating a cultural shift. Dementia, which includes Alzheimer's, is a disease of accountability and we are the only ones that can stop it. Caregivers are also the ones that truly understand what is happening daily and yet they are the ones that are ignored or dismissed more often.
Part of taking care of your loved one is understanding their health Insurance and the options available to them. I checked back in with Barajas Insurance Group to help me pick apart a few Medicare questions, and now I have a few Affordable Care Act questions. Today, licensed agent and co-owner Joe Barajas joins me, once again, to talk about Medicare in relation to the Affordable Care Act (ACA).
Listen as Licensed Agent Joe Barajas, co-owner and founder of Barajas Insurance Group, LLC answers questions regarding possible rate increases or decreases, whether premiums are based on income, and if Medicare can be used as secondary insurance.
Listen in as Jessica shares her results that confirm Dementia is preventable. Last May 2022, she had to step back because life became a whirlwind of emotional and physical challenges. When life happens in increments of highs and lows, it is easy to ride the waves of highs with smiles and then fight for air as our head dips under when life comes crashing down. Her daily routine already included morning meditation, but when life came crashing down this time, she included even more time for prayer and reflection. A pattern of situational depression that revealed a health condition, confirmed once and for all that her Mother's story of mixed Dementia will not become Jessica's story someday.
Sometimes when situations happen unexpectedly it is human nature to shut down and respond with self-numbing or soothing mechanism. Unfortunately, this approach to mental health only make matters worse. When we learn to take pause and reflect, we may see life happening for us rather than to us.
When the walls felt like were closing in and taking a deep cleansing breath was followed by tears, it was time to listen to her body. It is not just time for self-care, it is time for a self-retreat. Listen in as Jessica shares a reality check of Caregiver Overwhelm. Thanks to previous guests she knows what needs to be done. At this time, Jessica has decided to step back from the grind so she can focus on her mother more while she realigns projects underway.
A caregiver must to do what a caregiver has to do to live and not just survive.
Listen in as Kayle Johnson, Health and Life Coaches shares with me about breaking the habits of negative self-talk, and self-doubt to discover self-awareness for a healthy mindset. We get into my latest challenges that made me realize there is a Caregiver Hereditary Mindset passed down like other habits that affect our mental health and daily practice to maintain a positive outlook.
If you are experiencing what I now call power surges, others know them as hot flashes, then listen up closely. Men need to pay close attention, too, because if your partner is not experiencing this yet, there will come a time that you might feel like you're in the dog house from looking at her cross while she's power surging. Besides, men experience a drop in hormones too, which may not affect you the same way, but it is still vital to be proactive rather than reactive.
Listen in as Actor, Timeca Seretti, shares with me how a change in hormones sabotaged her luster for life in several areas and what she did to bounce back. Caregivers suffer normal or surgical menopause, or even "man-o-pause," that not only causes fatigue and depression but when left untreated could create mental health issues with more stress.
Is your loved one refusing to take their medication? Then listen in as Dementia Consultant and Author, Tami Anastasia, joins me again to talk about handling issues with medication refusals. In our previous episode with Tami, she breaks down poor communication issues. In this episode, Tami expands on how poor communication affects your loved ones when taking their medication from her book Essential Strategies for the Dementia Caregiver Learning to PACE Yourself.
I used to think that Mom was being suicidal when she began to refuse her medication, but according to Tami, there are several reasons why our loved ones may choose to refuse taking their medication.
Are you struggling with communicating with your loved one? Do you feel your loved one is not understood in their memory care community? Then listen is as Dementia Consultant and Author, Tami Anastasia, Chats with me about improving poor communication for the family caregiver in a two part episode. This episode Tami breaks down issues with poor communication from her book Essential Strategies for the Dementia Caregiver Learning to PACE Yourself.
Listen in as Author of Taking Away The Keys, Lane Morris Buckman, joins me to go through how childhood flashbacks affect caregivers when they least expect. If you cannot compartmentalize your feelings while responding to your loved one, these flashbacks might be a mental blow. Coping with these emerging memories might be more difficult for caregivers abused by the loved one they now care for as a child.
Blowing off emerging memories will only keep abuse in the dark that breeds more abuse, including elder abuse. If you feel like coping with the past keeps you from being a compassionate caregiver, please seek therapy as soon as possible.
You might have heard this label more often if you are stuck in between caring for your parents while trying to parent your kiddos. My babies are now 25 and 18, but there was a time when we were struggling to balance football games, band practice, and the maintenance of both ours and Mom's house on top of managing Mom's care. To say I was stuck in the middle of generations is putting it lightly. Listen in as Jessica speaks about the younger side of the Sandwich Generation that may get recruited before they are emotionally mature.
Unbeknownst to the caregiver, society calls most caregivers Spouse, Parents, Relatives, Neighbors, and even friends. Those labels make the relationships feel somewhat obligatory, so your feelings get lost in the mix of To-Do lists. The choice becomes an issue and even stress when past relationships are strained for various reasons. So now, caring for your loved one may come from places other than compassion or concern.
Sometimes our loved ones protest in such a way to show they are still in control, still grasping for independence. Other times our loved ones experience pain which makes them feel helpless, so accepting care creates a reality of hopelessness. As caregivers, we step in to better the situation and provide them with a sense of relief. When we do things against their wishes, even when it is from a place of concern for their well-being, they might feel violated. That type of response is not what we intended but is typical when dealing with a loved one experiencing Anosognosia or dementia.
So, how do we draw the line between caring and not caring? When caregivers stop caring emotionally as a defensive response or providing care in expectation of their refusal, they might be questioned about insensitivity or senior neglect. Listen in as Jessica explains how reactions to refusal of care or lowering expectations induce feelings of failure.
This topic may be the opposite of achieving success, but when you look deeper into the mind and hearts of a caregiver, procrastination is often the first sign of overwhelm. Being able to acknowledge the difference between not knowing how to do something versus not wanting to do something is a start. Procrastination can simply be our subconscious mind harboring inner parts that are not ready or willing to be in the present moment or face emotional challenges. Listen in as Occupational Therapist, Consuela Marshall shares with me how to recognize procrastination and what to do.
Consuela has been an occupational therapist for the past 27 years under inpatient rehab, skilled nursing care, and now predominantly in-home health care. Through her years of experience and training, Consuela can develop plans of care to aid rehabilitation for those sustaining physical losses after injury, illness, surgery, or various diagnoses. Much of this experience was first-hand knowledge gained as a caregiver to her mother, who had several strokes, and an aunt who lived with Alzheimer's. Because of this experience, Consuela can relate to both the caregiver duties and the emotional side.
Now that Mom's journey has taken the turn down an unfamiliar path with kidney failure it did occur to me to begin Hospice services sooner than later because of where my proactive journey has taken me. I was familiar with the services but expect hidden agendas in the medical industry. I was disgusted to find an underbelly linked to quid-pro-quo business relationships which most of you hear as kick-backs. To avoid being taken advantage of, the Caregiver must continue evolving through end times to become a smarter consumer and advocate.
Listen in as I share my shocking experience exercising patient rights for Mom. Did you know by federal law under the National Association for Home Care & Hospice, the patient bill of rights specifies that you have the right to choose care providers for your loved one, including Hospice companies, regardless if they are for-profit or non-profit?
Listen in as the founder of Timeless Dream Events, Ashely Jackson, shares her story from turning an experience with rare cancer in stage 4 squamous cell carcinoma in her fiancé's nasal cavity to an inspiring new business to help others. Becoming a caregiver at 31 created overwhelming pressure to become the sole breadwinner, housekeeper, and cook before she ever said, "I do." The light shines brightly through Ashley as she plans weddings, showers, or birthdays for others facing terminally ill challenges against the clock.
Ashley sympathizes with others facing similar dilemmas because she will never forget being faced with a race against time in March 2017. Only three months after getting engaged to Troy. With all her hope and determination to love and care for him, the weight of an unpredictably rare type of cancer with a 35% survival rate set different plans in motion. They knew the importance of setting goals aside for an engagement party to begin rounds of chemotherapy, radiation, and surgeries immediately. Their moment would have to wait. Thankfully, by March 2020, Ashley and Troy were able to speak their vows to one another.
Let’s face it, ladies and gentlemen, caregivers have joined the ranks of the first responder, who are also overworked and underappreciated. Regardless of whom they care for, the area of knowledge is still leaps and bounds away from filling in the gaps. We may not be chosen doctors, nurses, attorneys, or therapists by trade, but we need the resources, connections, and knowledge shared so that we may continue to adapt to caring for our loved ones.
A motto that Dr. Jackie Gray understands very well - “Better knowledge, Better care, Better outcomes” describes the world millions face as they care for their adult parents for various reasons. Jackie is a UK medical doctor, dually accredited as a specialist in Primary Care and Public Health. She is also the Founder of The Carents Room (thecarentsroom.com), an online platform supporting adults looking after parents.
We all know our parents will pass someday. Many of us grew up with grandparents or neighbors that passed from various issues. We were aware of how it affected our parents. And yet, this circle of life still feels like a shocking reality check when it begins to happen to our parents. Listen in as Caregiver, Brian Moritz, shares his story caring for his Mom who lived with Dementia, while experiencing a shocking reality in her final days.
After accepting a job offer to move to Austin, TX, Brian's Mom began to decline from Dementia back in Ohio. Trying to balance work and care from a distance became too challenging. Thanks to his wonderful wife managing their household and two high schoolers, Brian was able to be by his Mother's side to the very end.
We all see the world through different perspectives. We all have different aspirations or goals in life towards family, career, or seeking adventure. Even in all the differences we all still need one area to work in order to bring our goals to fruition and that is building relationships. Some are easy to build when it comes to the newness led by curiosity while others are far more difficult to maintain.
Listen in as Leslie McLeod, writer & artist, talks with me about relationship building during your caregiving journey.
As the holidays approached near the end of 2021, Carmen Davailus, nurse practitioner, photographer, and author of "Just See Me, Sacred Stories from the Other Side of Dementia," gave me a gift to treasure for years to come. Carmen is also the founder and president of Doggies for Dementia Foundation. Listen in as Carmen shares her story of divine intervention to capture and share stories from families who gave a glimpse of their experiences with dementia-body, mind, and spirit.
Doggies for Dementia Foundation is a nonprofit (501c3) corporation who lovingly gifts compassionate photography to families impacted by any form of dementia.
The founder of Power of Beginning, Theresa Patino, joining me to share how powerful a positive mindset can be in reclaiming your life. After suffering from a chronic illness for twenty-two years of Ulcerative Colitis, one might wonder how giving up was not an option. Going from 24 pills a day, an infusion treatment every six weeks, to multiple abdominal surgeries, finding peace in each new beginning was challenging. Restoring her health became a life-or-death priority.
Each surgery led to improvements with the hopes of it being the last. Each surgery also reminded Theresa about the importance of what she now refers to as medical maintenance. Theresa needed to find happiness while still being productive for work and family without allowing any negative self-talk to hinder her recovery. Rather than giving in to defeat and despair, Theresa kept searching for the meaning of each set-up.
Many years ago, Mom tried to make me promise that I would never place her in a nursing home because of her understanding of what state-run nursing homes represented. I started to do research two years before the time came to make the official transition. As I looked at different communities, I started to see something I did not appreciate. Seniors are commoditized like healthy conscious individuals seeking a neighborhood gym.
Listen in as Christopher Han, award-winning community developer and recognized expert with the HUD 232 LEAN protocol for new construction financing, educates us on how to better consumers when it comes to assisted living.
Listen in as Co-Owners of Barajas Insurance Group, Monique and Joe Barajas share Medicare information for the growing number of Millennial and Sandwich generation caregivers. Well, if you had a chance to listen to my previous podcast with attorney Virginia Samson, as we discuss Caregiver Compliance, you know your loved one will need a designated person to speak on their behalf to help them establish or maintain their Medicare coverage. In that respect, you will need to know more about Medicare sooner than you probably planned on.
We are now in Open Enrollment between October 15th through December 7th. At this time, more than 63 million people with Medicare in the U.S. can review their health care coverage to find new plans or change existing plans. Now is the time to discover extra benefits and save money. Medicare Advantage enrolled 26.9 million during 2021 and is expecting to enroll up to 29.5 million during the 2022 open enrollment. According to The Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services (CMS), you can expect a reduction in the average premium to be down by 10% or $2.22 for the average premium with a slight increase to the Part D coverage of 4.8% or $1.53 per month.
The will to care for our loved ones comes from many different places in our hearts and minds, mainly from a place of love and obligation. The love side may not need recognition. The obligation side may need recognition or appreciation in the least. Even though our loved ones appreciate our efforts, sometimes it does not feel like appreciation when our siblings or others get the glory. It's normal to feel jealousy between siblings but how we work through jealousy and what gives rise to our jealousy still need to be addressed.
As long as more than one child is in the house, sibling rivalry is inevitable and painful. When my siblings and I were young, bickering was the normal way we learned to communicate with each other. Whether we learn to tolerate differences because of age or hide in their shadow, competing for Mom and Dad's approval and appreciation does not change when we are adults.
Today's guest, founder of Sabrina Johnson Advocate for ALS, knows this kind of jealousy. Trying not to compare herself to her sibling may not have been the challenge but seeing the difference in response from her mother sometimes left a bit of a sting. As a caregiver for her mother battling colon cancer and her father, who passed from ALS, Sabrina decided to share her journey. She finds peace in sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly because caring for others is never a one-sided journey.
Well, brace yourself, Effie, I'm going go there today! Having the sex talk with Mom may not have been as funny as the line delivered on Mrs. Doubtfire by Robin Williams, but it certainly brought about another reality check. Even though Mom is now living in stage six of the seven stages of Dementia, we still had to have - "the talk." Dementia may cause the loss of many cognitive functions, but the natural human response to sexuality and intimacy remains.
I experience the moment I never expected. Because I know to read between the lines, I had to sit down with Mom to figure out what she really wanted, aside from the shock factor. Moments of aggression with more sex talk are increasing. This topic is often overlooked because it is frankly uncomfortable or embarrassing to others. A spouse longing for connection may welcome the change, but an adult child or memory care staff may be offended by the sex talk.
During stage 5 of Dementia, I spent days pleading with Mom not to talk about sex in a manner that seemed so vulgar or gross. Then it was somewhat funny, and she liked the shock factor followed by our laughter. Mom reminded me often, "There might be ashes in the furnace, but it's still burning." She is still a woman with needs, basically, and I can't argue with her. I also could not provide her with, um, tools or opportunities to resolve sexual frustration. Redirecting conversations became an art to avoid the sexual sass talk. These behaviors add challenges to caring for our loved ones, so we must be prepared for when the topic arises.
Dementia is such a broad term to explain well over 100 different ways our brain can deteriorate, causing the loss of basic functions. When I realized Mom is in stage 6 of 7 stages, I feared experiencing the inevitable. Would I be able to recognize the signs of dying? Would I be able to fulfill wishes as described in her Advanced Directive to Physicians? Listen in as Dr. Sammy Winemaker talks with me about the wind down process and that the body knows how to die.
Sammy, has joined in today from Ontario, Canada to help wrap our minds around what our loved ones may be experiencing during their final stage of life. Her clinical work is predominantly community-based, caring for people in their homes. She is an associate clinical professor at McMaster University in the Department of Family Medicine, in the Division of Palliative Care. Dr. Winemaker is an active educator and researcher passionate about examining the interface between primary care and palliative care. Most importantly, Dr. Winemaker is an advocate for palliative care reform.
Caregivers are created to fulfill many different needs, and sometimes it is caring for more than one person. Caregivers often do not acknowledge they are a caregiver because of the relationship with their loved ones. During the struggles of our journey, we tend to create a mindset of lack and resentment which focuses our journey on what is impossible rather than what is possible.
I wanted to have Meriam Boldewijn, a dear friend, who was on previous episode titled Caregiver Hope published April 2, 2021. Meriam was born and raised in South America, then later moved to the Netherlands, where she has lived for 31 years. As a wife, writer, entrepreneur, and now Caregiver life coach, she proves we can change our thoughts of impossible to possible by having faith in the universe. Her appetite for adventure and acceptance to change came after experiencing firsthand feelings of fear, self-doubt, and burnout as a caregiver. Fear of the unknown took Meriam and her husband on a journey through dialysis, transplants, and self-discovery together.
After 20 years of caregiving for her husband battling diabetes and a brother after a stroke she was inspired to share her story which was published June 2021. Caregiver 2.0 From Burnout to Powerhouse is now available in stores and online at Amazon. Her love and compassion for her family taught her many valuable lessons, which she now shares with other caregivers through her book and Caregiver 2.0 6-week online course.
I already knew the one constant thing in life is change, which means we must learn how to adapt over and over. For caregivers, change is difficult without a network of support. For life to be a little less scary and lonely, we must become socially and culturally competent together. I thought cultural diversity meant identifying all groups as significant for many years, but not acknowledging true differences until the desire to bond with like minds became priority. Surely, there are others wanting services or need connection like me.
I spoke about self-awareness in podcast episode Caregiver Awareness, but another part of self-awareness is recognizing how our culture influences what others think and act upon. The Coronavirus pandemic created a culture clash that brought light to the disconnection and struggles caregivers have been facing. Nurses in all areas and assisted living staff experienced levels of exhaustion far greater than they ever imagined. Domestic caregivers became even more isolated than they already were before the pandemic. The awareness for connection and outlets is finally being noticed.
Lucinda Koza is the founder and CEO of I-Ally, a community-driven app that saves Millennial family caregivers time, reduces stress, and enables informed decision-making by providing services that fulfill their unique needs. She jumped to action when she suddenly found herself becoming her father's sole caregiver in 2018. Lacking support from every direction, Lucinda fell through the cracks of our cultural system.
Lucinda's life mission launched to advocate for the invisible family caregiver labor force. By tapping into her background as an actor she applied storytelling and digital strategy talent in hopes of making a difference. Using a technological solution for millennial family caregivers, she crafted a way to create community and utilize shared resources. Since founding I-Ally, Mrs. Koza has been named a Hero of the COVID Crisis by Authority Magazine and Thrive Global. She was acknowledged as a Visionary Voice by the All Raise Organization. Mrs. Koza remains a devoted family caregiver to her father and a TIME'S UP Care Economic Business Council member.
As Mom's mixed dementia progresses, I have had to continually adapt to changes in mood swings even when I cannot understand what is causing the change. For me, adaption looks like a detective working on solving a case. Only our case changes daily. Because FTD (Frontotemporal Dementia) is more related to behavioral challenges than memory, it is hard to pinpoint what might trigger a flare-up one day to the next. Knowing is one thing, but living through the decline is still shocking to witness.
When I first stepped in as caregiver for Mom, I had limited time to balance my responsibilities. My patience was also limited, so understanding her actions or having better reactions made daily care frustrating. Anticipating Mom's reactions on shower days created an emotional challenge, but eventually, the aggressiveness and language created situational depression. I knew not to take her verbal abuse personally, but not wanting to be there made me feel guilty afterward.
Part of taking care of ourselves is recognizing our mental health concerns. When it comes to mental health issues, we are still only scratching the surface. After so many years of researching Dementia, science responds with an outrageously expensive pharmaceutical treatment. Do we know what causes mental disorders? No. We are still guessing. And yet, we do know how to profit off of the disorders. Although, perspectives related to genetic factors are becoming less of the go-to explanation, lifestyle is finally beginning to gain more respect.
Trying to pinpoint symptoms for mental health disorders is extremely difficult. When you look at a list of symptoms for Fibromyalgia and compare them to dementia-related disorders, they are on the same spectrum. Differences in how our brain functions lead to a wide range of cognitive, emotional, motivational, and social functions. Recreational Therapy is the holistic response to preventing and managing mental disorders before reaching chronic or debilitating levels.
Although Recreational Therapy is still a new concept, it is becoming a better intervention than pharmaceuticals. Of Course, there is a potential for sore muscles or injury, but the benefits outweigh the risks with proper guidance. Recreational therapy addresses the whole person through creative expression by focusing on their intellectual, spiritual, emotional, social, and physical needs.
Self-care and gut health have become quite the buzz words lately. What these words mean to you may be entirely different to me. What about becoming self-aware? In order for self-care and gut health to work well in our lives we must be aware of our needs, understand our reactions, and be able to let go of our burdens. The idea of having burdens may sound foreign and you might not recognize them as areas holding you back from being a better caregiver.
When we care for our loved ones, in an authentic and transparent way, a transformation can take place. Some of us can nurture our loved ones without a thought of regret or hesitation because it comes naturally. Others may have some apprehension towards caring for our loved ones. Those caregivers may being caring for a loved one that hurt them as a child. Survival mode is another part of us that can take over to ensure the job gets done without our emotions getting in the way.
Today we're going to talk about Caregiver Spirituality with my guest, Samone Smith. Samone, is a dear friend and fellow caregiver that I was blessed to meet a few years ago when she stepped into our home as one of Mom's senior companions. I felt so much peace on the days she came to visit. Not just because she was relieving me for a couple of hours to recharge but also because she spoke of her life in such a way it helped me to refocus my faith. Caregiving has the potential to create moments that distract us from living a purposeful journey.
Samone's healthcare journey began at the age of 15 when her 1st job was in a nursing home. There she found a passion caring for seniors and those with disabilities. As a junior in high school, she received a certification as a Nurse Assistant. From this early age a long fulfilling journey of caring for people from all walks of life was born. Now, being a mother of a teenager with down syndrome she already understood the importance of compassion and faith based intentions. Samone has over 20 yrs of health care experience that includes Geriatric Care, Oncology, Rehabilitation, Dementia Care, Hospice, and various special needs.
In 2011 Samone founded a Kingdom Women Walking in Victory ministry. As a self-proclaimed "Victory Strategist" to women, she knows exactly how to help women turn their defeat into victory. Since then her spirit led journey has helped her focus on writing and publishing two books. The first is titled From Defeat 2 Victory, The Victorious Woman Journal. In 2018 she launched From Defeat 2 Victory Services where she offers life coaching, online courses, spiritual mentoring, and workshops. Her 2nd book, titled F.L.A.W.S- 5 Steps to Radical Self Care, will be released soon.
Samone’s Spiritual guidance took her as a native from St. Louis, MO to Austin, TX long enough for us to meet. Thankfully, her caregiving journey has given Samone an unshakable faith. She was then guided to Houston, TX shortly thereafter, where she currently resides with her new husband, Alan. She is the mother of 2 boys, 3 bonus daughters, and 2 bonus grandchildren.
Many of you know I found myself taking that last statement to heart when I took time off to heal from lower back surgery this past April. Although it was the most serious and invasive procedure I have ever experienced it did not make me think of death or dying. Even when the hospital administration and nurses asked about having an Advanced Directive I still did not think about death or my usual "what if" anxiety driven thought patterns. No. Those thoughts came later when I had what is called a provoked pulmonary embolism one month after my surgery. Then the thoughts of words left unsaid, relationships left in turmoil, and Mom's care needs with my own mortality came crashing in as I gasping for air.
Experiencing Dad's last few weeks alive as his body battled pneumonia made the conversation about death, which we avoided so many other times, become uncomfortably necessary with an intense weight of a pending reality. None of the decisions my sisters and I were faced with were what we ever expected or were prepared to make. Growing up these conversations were usually treated with sarcasm. A distant mindset with the mentality my parents would not have to worry about after death because they would be dead. Not much thought went into what we needed to do or what they wanted as part of their journey home.
Just to be clear, talking about death does not manifest it but preparing for it while giving your family a chance to be on the same page is important. Aside from terminal illness, no one knows when their day will come. We can proactively face death without fear by working with an end of life doula like Melissa Wood. Before her work as a doula, she spent the last 25 years in Naturopathic Medicine and Massage, helping people to live a healthier life, naturally. Melissa created her company, Peaceful End of Life, to focus on providing patient advocacy and compassionate guidance toward a peaceful end of life.
As you care for your loved one, many of you may experience the regular daily routine eventually becoming a bit mundane, uneventful, or something is missing in your life. Some days may be frustrating and stressful while other days may be a bit boring or restrictive. Since Mom was not much of an afternoon napper I wanted something we could do together aside from meals and household duties. She loved playing scrabble or dominos but I wanted to do more crafts together for my own sanity. I figured crafting would help her engage in different ways too.
Planning an outing to go do a craft and perhaps a meal after gave me something to look forward to. Changing up the routine was one thing but finding as many opportunities to stimulate Mom's mind quickly became my goal. Trying to get Mom to be creative with me brought about another set of challenges though. Knowing how creative she used to be building dollhouses did not necessarily mean she wanted to continue to be creative or found pleasure in it still. I had to learn a new set of boundaries to work around because I needed the creativity time more than she did at this point.
I asked my next guest, Erica Curcio, also known as the Traveling Art Therapist, to share her passion with Art Therapy and techniques that I could have fun with and also help make sense regarding why Mom may struggle to have fun crafting with me.
Erica Curcio is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Registered Art Therapist based in Boston Massachusetts. She has been working with people living with dementia for the past ten years. Erica uses art and the creative process to bring dignity, joy, and connection to all who are living with dementia. She has presented to local Boston groups with the most recent being at the Alzheimer's Association in Massachusetts and the New Hampshire Chapter's titled Map Through The Maze. Her presentations focus on learning about art therapy for people living with dementia, as well as being a part of the process through guided art-based selfcare.
Jessica takes time to reflect on the past couple of months of recovery to share the challenges faced with losing her independence before experiencing life-threatening changes. As her recovery seem to be improving, she took a step back when a pulmonary embolism created a fight for every breath. After becoming the care recipient, she then worried her husband would reach caregiver burnout before she was back to better health overall. These challenges added a new perspective on Phil 4:13 I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.
Self-care has become quite the buzz word lately. What it means to one person may be entirely different to another. Regardless of what it means to you, part of being able to take care of ourselves is making sure to have time for adequate restoration. The word restoration in the dictionary means the act of returning something to a former owner, place, or condition. In the Bible, restoration is always in abundance. When something is restored, it is always better than it was to begin with. God's promise to us is a better way, a better life, a better future for ourselves and our loved ones.
Without restoration we run the risk of not being there for our loved ones because we become ill or terribly distracted by the world all around us. Restoration does not just happen because we want it to happen. We have to be active participants in our restoration to not only invite God into our lives but to initiate the restorative process in the first place. So many caregivers fall prey to the idea that they do not have time or money to commit to self-care. This is usually why caregivers become ill or pass away before their loved ones do. They burn the candle at both ends until burnout becomes a point of no return.
Many caregivers have endured their journey in the middle while working a career and balancing care for a spouse, children, parents, extended family or even friends. The middle has become even tougher for caregivers as the world struggles to find a new normal and rebound from the effects of COVID. For some, isolation was not new to their way of life as a caregiver but for others the added challenges only created more grief. I know I wanted to stop struggling to survive and finally live a life I was intended to live.
Although experiencing grief from the loss of a loved one, relationship, or job is part of life, this kind of grief makes it hard to see how life can continue on the flip side of grief. Feeling like you are losing yourself along this caregiving journey while you care for everyone else is normal. And even though it is very normal there is a better way to step through our journey without losing ourselves. Stop letting stress, anxiety, depression, frustration, and even anger control your emotional stability and wreck your physical health.
Men and women deal with stress in different ways but overall grief touches us all. In 2015 the ratio of caregivers, women/men was 60/40% split. During 2020, pre-COVID this ratio shifted to include more men by a 51/49% split. Even though men and women deal with stress differently, grief effects our hearts in much of the same way through inflammation. The heartbreak of grief can increase blood pressure and the risk of blood clots. We are all having to learn how to be a caregiver to some degree while supporting our own form of selfcare which is why I wanted my next guest to help shed some light on what it looks like to live in the middle.
Pat Sheveland, a best-selling author and certified life coach, is living proof that a multigenerational approach in caring for your family can still give you the flexibility and freedom to do the things you want to do and live your life with greater peace and joy! Her newest book Living Life in the Middle: The Caregiver’s Guide to Healing, Hope and Harmony Through Multigenerational Living provides the steps and tools to help caregivers create a life that provides freedom and flexibility to pursue their dreams while still supporting their family.
Caregivers experience what is known as the stress-brain loop but may not be aware of it. This loop is a dangerous routine that caregivers can fall prey to. You might recognize this loop if you recall feeling as if there is no time, effort, support, or opportunity to take a break from this journey. The result is we become high risk for compassion fatigue. The stress chemicals that are naturally secreted by our brains in excess can make us sick. Studies have shown that chronic stress can shrink the brain and hippocampus. The hippocampus is a key brain region in the emotional brain network and plays a significant role in social cognition and emotion processing.
This particular chemical I am referring to is Cortisol. This hormone is our bodies natural response to stress to aid us in what is known as the fight or flight mode. The problem with having too much of a good thing or living with excess cortisol in our bodies is the neurological effect of stress. Over time, as we adapt to high stress and anxiety filled routines as caregivers, our bodies begin to function under a cortisol dominant state. This way of living induces inadequate sleep, poor eating habits, and emotional distress. As we remain in this cortisol dominance it will also affect our natural ability with learning, attention span, and memory.
So, what can we do to slow the cortisol dominance and help our bodies return to a calmer state of being? I asked my colleague, Ellen Jolley, to join me today to share another resource for caregivers. Ellen is a board-certified hypnotherapist as well as the owner and founder of Capstone Hypnosis. As a resilience coach and CPA, she is able to help her clients build confidence and overcome stress and anxiety from being overwhelmed. Her clients have been able to release internal blocks that keep them from achieving their higher levels of emotional strength.
The resilience coaching and hypnotherapy worked for her and made a huge impact in her life. Many years ago, after a divorce left her in a state of excruciating guilt and anxiety, she sought counseling. The counseling helped, but it did not address the root problem. Hypnosis helped her to initiate real, positive change. It is for this reason that she decided to shift her 20-year career as a tax account to pursue helping others through hypnotherapy and transformation coaching. She is passionate about helping people overcome the emotional barriers that keep them from living a happy, productive life.
The rise in caregiver needs is more important now than ever before with the challenges caregivers face in our "new normal" around the world. Part of these needs is simply better information. In the United States alone the numbers of caregivers have risen by over 10% since 2015 from 43 million caregivers to 53 million in 2020 pre-COVID. This demographic includes younger caregivers than ever before between the ages of 18 -34.
I asked Judy Cornish to come back on the show with me so we can go further into Dementia, the stages, and why it is not a disease. Caregivers often ask 'How' to care for their loved ones before we even consider 'What' we are caring for and 'Why' they need the care when it comes to Dementia. When we consider Dementia as a disease then we begin to separate the healthy from unhealthily mentally which promotes the loss of compassion. We focus on their behaviors before we focus on the individual. Although it is important to understand the behaviors common with the progression of Dementia, it is just as important to not lose sight of your loved one as person and not a diseased individual.
Judy Cornish is an author and founder of the Dementia & Alzheimer’s Wellbeing Network (DAWN®), creator of the DAWN Method® and retired elder law attorney. Her two books (The Dementia Handbook and Dementia With Dignity) take person-centered Dementia care from theory to practice by identifying the skills not lost to Dementia. Through DAWN, Judy provides counseling, private classes and an online video program for families and home caregivers. Her goal is to help families learn how to truly support their loved ones and enjoy more companionship as they live with Dementia.
I'm beginning to see more early morning walkers and runners as the seasons are changing yet again. As I begin to prep flower beds I'm reminded about what I have gleaned from gardening and maintaining indoor plants. Finding the optimum soil content, light levels, and temperature or protection from environment is similar to caregiving. The indoor plants are a bit more temperamental. Having indoor plants not only contributed to my overall mood but it helped with the added oxygen in the room too. This topic is a show in it of itself, but if you can imagine that caregivers and our loved ones are a variety of indoor plants then you might realize we need special consideration to thrive.
This consideration I'm referring to is the health of our hearts, guts, and brains. When we are in the midst of the day plugging away at our To-Do lists or caring for our loved ones the thought of our brain-gut connection is not exactly driving the day. We are in somewhat of a survival mode without even considering the best way to survive. Taking this one step further, we may not even consider a life beyond surviving towards healthy living. I know I had to retrain myself in what healthy living looked and felt like to me.
Today's guest, Iwan Williams, resides in the UK and is the founder of Vitalize Health and Fitness where he has become a Mood and Body coach. Iwan is a coffee lover and health nut who understands on a personal level what is feels like to struggle with low energy. This kind of struggle affects our mindset, behaviors, and happiness in connection with our flow of movement, sleep, and choice of nutrition. Beyond his own journey of self care, Iwan obtained a Degree in Sport and Exercise Science while becoming a Qualified Level 3 Physical Trainer and Precision Nutritionist. The Precision Nutrition certification is the world's most respected nutrition education program.
With this training Iwan is able to help people not only become more physically fit but also understand the physical and mental effects on their bodies. He does by incorporating mindfulness approaches, meditation, and other aspects of physical, mental, and spiritual health to reach root causes of poor health. He helps people like you and me go beyond an exercise regiment and begin a journey of self discovery and healing. After all, we are our own best advocate when we can tune into what our body needs.
Before I left the corporate world, I was continually in a mental space of fight or flight from juggling demands around the accounting cycle with the needs of my family. I kept thinking there was not enough time in the day for everyone in my life so exercise was pushed off day after day. As my body ached more and more from sitting for too many hours in the day I knew I needed to find an alternative to pain medication. Not just because I wanted to protect my liver but I am a light weight when it comes to drugs and alcohol. It does not take much to induce a brain fog.
When I decided it was time for my demands from the corporate world to end I traded it for the demands of caregiving instead. Even though I went from one set of stressors to another I still needed to exercise. At first, Yoga was suggested to me as an alternative to pain medication to help relieve unbearable pain caused by sciatic nerve damage. As a beginner I decided to start with Vinyasa Yoga, which means "movement, position of limbs." This form incorporates movement with breath to help build and maintain strong bones, muscles, and connective tissue. Vinyasa flow also helps to maintain a high metabolism, healthy posture, and keep the body active, which is what I needed.
The more time I dedicated to Vinyasa I felt incredible relief from the sciatic pain but I also improved my flexibility and muscle tone. The one thing I was not expecting with Vinyasa was the ability to connect to the Divine during my workout sessions. Over the earlier years of caregiving I felt as if it was some sort of punishment for being the difficult child to raise but God used this time to allow the Spirit to flow more freely as my stagnant negative energy in my body was unblocked through breath and movements. I began to depend on my morning routine of meditation and yoga for my sense of calm, sustainable energy, and physical stability during the days. What began as a pain reliever turned into a healing relation with God.
My next guest, Dr. Sarah Jefferis has mastered another type of flow through words, both written and spoken as an editor, writing coach, speaker, and author of Forgetting the Salt and What Enters the Mouth. She has been praised by Ansel Elkins, author of Blue Yodel, who wrote "these are fearless poems-a reckoning of the violence of girlhood rendered with grit and clarity." She won the Bea Gonzalez Poetry Prize for her poem “Motherhood.” Her poems and nonfiction have appeared in The North American Review, Rhino, The Mississippi Review, The American Literary Review, Stone Canoe, Icon, The Hollins Critic, The Patterson Review, The Healing Muse and other journals. She has been both a poetry and fiction fellow at the Squaw Valley Community of Writers in California and held residencies in poetry and creative nonfiction at the Constance Saltonstall Foundation for the Arts in New York, and at The Studios at Mass MOCA. She has completed her first novel, entitled Franny and John, as well as her third collection of poetry, After Marriage.
Sarah holds an MA in Creative Writing and Literature from Hollins University, an MFA in Poetry from Cornell University and a PhD in Creative Writing from SUNY Binghamton. Through her consultant business, Write. Now., Sarah serves as a 1:1 writing coach for academics who are seeking Higher Education, and for writers/artists/educators who need assistance at any stage of their creative project. She designs writing workshops on race, equity and inclusion, and generative workshops using the writing process as a healing modality. Sarah offers poetry readings and presentations on surviving sexual assault. She has over twenty years of teaching writing and literature in Higher Education. She is currently enrolled in a Yoga Certification Program. Taking the mastery of the words up a notch to learning the mastery of the flow of movement.
Caregivers are created to fulfill many different needs and sometimes it is for more than one person at a time. Often times they do not acknowledge they are a caregiver because of the relationship with their loved ones. The feeling of obligation before compassion is usually the first response. This obligation often times hides the burden caregiving becomes which creates a domino effect of many other emotions. Regret, lack of choice, self-doubt, guilt, fear, and what I call my inner run away. So many times I found myself thinking "I don't want to do this anymore" because of the arguing and feeling incredible guilt shortly thereafter for having the thought.
Part of shouldering this burden is fighting the loss of Hope. This is why I believe moments in time happen for a reason. Although we have free will to do many things in life it is easy to become complacent or stuck in a routine that keeps us from living our intended purpose. For example, my next guest went from owning an online clothing store in the Netherlands to a caregiver life coach. If you find yourself asking "why me?" Or "why now?" like I did, then I feel that is the universe giving you a nudge to go in a different direction.
Meriam Boldewijn, a dear friend I met last year as another one of those moments intended for a reason, found herself asking those questions of Why and How. After caregiving for 20 years, for her husband battling diabetes and a brother after a stroke, the answers came in an unexpected life course correction. Her love and compassion to care for her family taught her many valuable lessons which she now shares with other caregivers through her Caregiver 2.0 6-week online course.
Respite care is a great opportunity when a caregiver willingly seeks it out. Often times we end up talking ourselves out of why it's important or convincing ourselves we can get by without it. I think this happens for a number of reasons - a few being support and information on how to keep their own safety with that of their loved ones in check, managing their own stress, navigating multiple levels of care from medical or legal paperwork to learning nursing skills. All can be very traumatizing and make us feel stuck in reality.
The rise in caregiver needs is more important now than ever before with the challenges caregivers face in our "new normal" around the world. In the United States alone the numbers of caregivers have risen by over 10% since 2015 with 43 million caregivers to 53 million in 2020 pre-COVID which includes younger caregivers than ever before between the ages of 18 -34.
My next guest knows all to well about the need to educate our caregivers, especially those in eldercare communities. We often ask 'How' to care for them before we even consider the 'What' we are caring for and 'Why' they need the care when it comes to Dementia.
Judy Cornish is an author and founder of the Dementia & Alzheimer’s Wellbeing Network (DAWN®), creator of the DAWN Method® and retired elder law attorney. Her two books (The Dementia Handbook and Dementia With Dignity) take person-centered Dementia care from theory to practice by identifying the skills not lost to Dementia. Through DAWN, Judy provides counseling, private classes and an online video program for families and home caregivers. Her goal is to help families learn how to truly support their loved ones and enjoy more companionship as they live with Dementia.
Hello Everybody! I am so glad you are here with me today. I am the Proactive Caregiver and I specialize in educating others on how to be proactive by empowering YOU - the caregiver. If you cannot take care of yourself, then you cannot take care of your loved one.
I shared with you in previous blogs and Podcast shows how we dismissed many of Mom's early signs of Dementia because of her Manic Depressive Bipolar tendencies. Another reason was because we knew so little about Dementia over all during the 1990's and very little about Alzheimer's. The limited information about Alzheimer's did not seem to fit with what we were witnessing in Mom nor did her age and behaviors match up. That is because Frontotemporal Dementia, also referred to as FTD, is associated with personality, behavior, and language.
FTD is the most common dementia under the age of 60 but is not well known at all. It is a degenerative brain disorder that primarily affects the frontal and temporal lobes of the brain. FTD is a gradual, progressive decline in behavior, language or movement, with memory usually relatively preserved until later stages. According to the Association of Frontotemporal Degeneration (AFTD) it typically strikes younger with onset ranges from 21 to 80. The majority of FTD cases occur between the ages of 45 and 64 which creates a substantially greater impact on work, family, and economic burden faced by families than Alzheimer's.
Today's guest, caregiver Candace Williams, will share her story in connection with Frontotemporal Dementia. Candace has been caring for her mother Robin since her diagnosis of FTD for over 7 years. Robin was diagnosed at 57 years old and now at 64 is entirely dependent on Candace. While caring for her mother has been a challenge, Candace also finds it quite rewarding. Candace and I recently bonded over our experiences including our frustrations with the lack of education and resources available for those diagnosed with Early Onset Dementia at a younger age in life.
This is why Candace and her mother created a blog called Our FTD Journey. They wanted to create a space to offer support and build a community, where others dealing with the same thing could have a safe place to share and express themselves.
Hello Everybody! I am so glad you are here with me today. I am the Proactive Caregiver and I specialize in educating others on how to be proactive by empowering YOU - the caregiver. If you cannot take care of yourself, then you cannot take care of your loved one.
Alright ladies and gentlemen, we are about to get into yet another area which I think is forgotten in terms of selfcare. Financial planning is a very important part of selfcare because it helps to alleviate stress. If you are struggling to make the connection here then think about what you go through every pay day. How quickly does your hard earned paycheck disappear? How often do you use credit cards to make ends meet?
Having a flexible budget for the monthly expenses is important but so is preparing for the future. Getting married and having children alone changes what our younger selves planned. Those plans might change yet again when our parents, spouse, or even adult children turn to us for help. What I thought were the biggest expenses of my life in terms of wedding, college, or a home mortgage pale in comparison to the growing long-term care expenses.
This became the biggest blind spot for Mom who once was a diligent saver. As dementia began to take it's toll on her physically it was also becoming a financial nightmare for our family. So while I speak with my next guest, Palbir Nijjar, think about your current budget. Do you have one? If so, how strong or flexible is it? Do you have anything allocated for emergencies or retirement? I know this might feel like the opposite mindset of positive thinking and manifesting abundance. Financial problems bring about corrosive stress. We are pulled in so many directions within this material world only to be blind sided when life happens in an unexpected way. It's not an 'if' and more so a 'when' the storm hits.
This is why I asked Palbir to come on with me today to help share with us just how important financial planning is for our unknown future. Palbir has a Master of Science in Financial Analysis and Investment Management. He is also a Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA) in the Pleasanton, California area. After nearly 20 years of investment experience he launched his business, Smart Path Wealth Management. Palbir helps his clients get closer to what matters which is spending less time worrying about their finances and more time focusing on what is important - their family, friends, businesses, careers, and hobbies. His motto is "Plan better, invest better, and live better!"
Prior to launching Smart Path, he spent time working as a Financial Analyst for various technology companies in the Bay area. The tech industry is where he began to understand the unique needs of IT professionals and those who work for tech companies. During his time, he was able to contribute to The Motley Fool to showcase his passion for researching and analyzing great businesses. It's great to have a 401K but it's even better to have someone like Pal as an ethical advisor to broaden your options and learn how to weather those financial pitfalls and storms life will present.
Hello Everybody! I am so glad you are here with me today. I am the Proactive Caregiver and I specialize in educating others on how to be proactive by empowering YOU - the caregiver. If you cannot take care of yourself, then you cannot take care of your loved one.
Part of self-care often begins with peace of mind. Many years ago as I sat at Mom's kitchen table with an eldercare attorney, she asked to remain in her home as long as possible as we created caregiver compliance documents. Since we helped her to downsize it became what we initially intended. The problem was even though she had less home to manage I still had blind spots from the outside of her world of isolation.
If I had the knowledge of newer cutting edge resources such as Safehouse Technologies we might have been able to keep her in her own home longer. Even after Mom moved in with us, this very same technology would have assisted us. Now that she lives within a memory care community I find the need for this technology yet again. This is why I wanted to have today's guest shed some light for caregivers who need help in keeping their love ones independent longer.
John Griffiths, who resides in the UK, is the Technology Director and leads the development of the Safehouse products. He is responsible for the conception and design of the Safehouse system and sensor. John is co-founder and CTO of Secure Sensor Innovative Design. He has set up and successfully run several technology and consultancy companies over the last 30 years, including Griffiths Associates, where he is the Managing Director.
His company implemented the first cloud care support system for Bournemouth Borough Council. John specializes in healthcare technology, Smart City development and data center creation. He was the Information, Communication and Technology Specialist for the Welsh Government for 12 years where he worked with academic institutions and companies such as Orange, Intel, Cisco, BT, Thales, Telefonica and Microsoft. Previous to his current role, John was a Technical Specialist in the Department for International Trade for Smart Cities and Internet of Things with responsibility for the Far East.
Hello Everybody! I am so glad you are here with me today. I am the Proactive Caregiver and I specialize in educating others on how to be proactive by empowering You, the caregiver. If you cannot take care of yourself, then you cannot take care of your loved one.
In my earlier podcast titled "How is Dementia Diagnosed?" I touched on the potential for Dementia to be a result from cancer treatment such as chemo therapy. This is not meant to scare you, if you or your loved one is living with some form of cancer this is intended to inform the listeners. There is still a wide misconception that Dementia is a genetic disease. While I'm sure some may want to dig in their heals to debate this I simply want to add another thought process to the debate.
It is my understanding that Dementia is not a disease but a loss of mental function in more than two areas. Dementia is far more than simply the loss of memory, but is noticeable because of the loss of memory and other mental abilities that affect daily life. It's rarely the sole cause because it may include a series of symptoms that affect language, judgement, memory, spatial abilities, and visual abilities. In regards to chemo therapy, information is still being gathered so there is not a definitive answer. When you work in Oncology as my next guess does, then you are able to see first hand the unexpected effect cancer with treatment has towards Dementia related side effects. Before we get into the details please keep in mind this is strictly based on personal experience and not at all intended to be medical advice or replacement for seeking care for your loved one.
Esther Mbabazi is an in-patient Oncology Nurse who lives in Norway with her husband and two children, ages 8 & 14. She works with patients living with gastro related cancers. This group includes forms from esophageal, gastroesophageal junction, stomach, pancreas, intestinal, gall bladder, bile duct, colon, and rectal cancer. Although she loves her job because it is very rewarding to work with patients and their families, it does tend to chip away at her soul. I know this feeling because as we both meet more caregivers it is quite revealing how overwhelming their journey can be when you see their eyes filled with exhaustion and fear of the unknown.
Hello Everybody! I am so glad you are here with me today. I am the Proactive Caregiver and I specialize in educating others on how to be proactive, by empowering You - the caregiver. If you cannot take care of yourself, then you can't take care of your loved one.
Caregiving is already an emotional challenge for all sorts of reasons but with the added crisis around the world our fear, anxiety, and depression is affecting us more than ever before. The numbers of caregivers has risen by 10% in the US alone spanning across ages from 25 to 65 and up, from 42 million in 2015 to 53 million as of 2020 prior to COVID. You can imagine the need for resources to do more than survive is on the rise as well.
It is kind of hard for me to talk about Dementia without talking about depression, especially after sharing the information in our first two episodes this year, what it is and the stages. Even though Mom was used to living a melancholy life, I was not, so this kicked my caregiving journey into high gear. This is why I have asked Hannah Platt to join me today. Before I get into the details please keep in mind this is strictly based on my personal experience caring for Mom who lives with mixed Dementia and not at all intended to be medical advice or replacement for seeking your own care or care for your loved one.
Hannah Platt owns a private practice in Round Rock, Texas and specializes in working with adolescents and adults on a range of issues spanning from mood disorders to healing from trauma. She is a Certified Dialectical Behavior Therapist. She is also certified in Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing which is a leading trauma treatment. Hannah has worked in the mental health field for over 15 years.
She has helped thousands of individuals move through difficult and often overwhelming times in their lives until they are able to see hope and renegotiate their purpose. Her passion comes from navigating multiple crippling episodes of major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder throughout middle school and high school. As a result, she wanted to understand more about mental health.
Hello Everybody! I am so glad you are here with me today. I am the Proactive Caregiver and I specialize in educating others on how to be proactive by empowering You, the caregiver. If you cannot take care of yourself, then you cannot take care of your loved one.
According to the NAIC report released early 2020, prior to the world-wide chaos resulting from the Corona Virus, the increase of caregivers went up by 10% from 42 million in 2015 to 53 million in 2020. The life of a caregiver is filled with many pressure points of worry, stress, anxiety, and fears among other things. When it comes to being able to relax for the day to get restorative sleep in hopes of recharging our mental batteries, detox our bodies, and reset for another day of care, it's easier said than done.
In our previous episode with Dr. Joy Poskozim we discussed issues around sleep apnea. Now I want to take a deeper look with today's guest. Whether you have been diagnosed with sleep apnea or purchased a mouth guard or MAD (Mandibular Advancement Device) as a preventative measure, you might still be struggling with the ability to fall asleep. It may not be considered an art form for some people but sometimes it does take a bit more effort.
That's why I asked Oliver Halviala to help me with techniques of falling asleep to achieve regular restorative sleep. Oliver is a man of many talents with a Master of Fine Arts, Certified Feldenkrais Practitioner, Certified Neuro-physical movement educator, and author, who is living in Helsinki, Finland. His decades of practice, study, and research of neuro-physical movement have culminated into the creation of the Moving into Sleep Method. This is a revolutionary approach for inducing sleep and improving sleep quality by doing gentle sleep-inducing movements.
Hello Everybody! I am so glad you are here with me today. I am the Proactive Caregiver and I specialize in educating others on how to be proactive by empowering the caregiver. If you cannot take care of yourself, then you cannot take care of your loved one.
So what happens when you end up with a pillow over your head because your loved one is snoring loudly? Although it may seem like they are getting the best sleep of their lives, no matter how much they resemble a hibernating wildlife animal, it means neither of you is getting good sleep.
I bet neither of you would have considered asking your dentist about sleep apnea? I didn't either which is why I asked Dr. Joy Poskozim from Joyful Dental Care in Chicago to join me in shedding some light on what else is going on in our mouths at night. She reminded me that we can survive 3 weeks without eating. We can survive 3 days without water. Yet can e can only survive roughly 3 minutes without oxygen.
Hello Everybody! I am so glad you are here with me today. I am the Proactive Caregiver and I specialize in educating others on how to be proactive by empowering the caregiver. If you cannot take care of yourself, then you cannot take care of your loved one.
Over the years of taking care of Mom, it came to be a challenge to maintain her home and ours. We downsized her residence 3 times so far. In the earlier years prior to downsizing to the right size in her life, most of our concerns related to simple yard & pool maintenance but then it became more involved with major repairs and upkeep along with safety concerns. The idea of letting go of our childhood home was so upsetting and yet the choice still had to be made for so many reasons. Ironically, my siblings were not in agreement when Mom was ready to downsize the first time. Decluttering was an emotionally charged process.
I know so many caregivers not only face this difficult decision eventually but it usually comes when you are still mourning the loss of who your loved one was and is no longer. It is a cathartic process filled with little land mines of emotions throughout the home. This is why I asked Kim Stanley, Owner of Downsizing my Home and Author of "How to Make a Downsize Move" and "Step by Step to Right-Sizing" to share her journey personally and professionally to help step us through the best way to approach this stage in our journey.
Links:
www.jessicalizelcannon.com
https://www.facebook.com/Jessica-Lizel-Cannon-2123322074651542/
https://www.instagram.com/proactive_caregiver/
www.cannonlightmedia.com
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Music:
Intro: Vacation Time by Khris Paradise
Outro: Misty by Khris Paradise
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Hello Everybody! I am so glad you are here with me today. I am the Proactive Caregiver and I specialize in educating others on how to be a proactive caregiver as well by empowering you, the caregiver rather than the care recipient. If you cannot take care of yourself, then you cannot take care of your loved one.
Today I wanted to continue with our previous conversation around deciphering the difference between Dementia, Delirium, Bipolar Manic Depression, and go a bit deeper into the stages of Dementia. Just like the late Maya Angelou said "We do better when we know better" I too was able to do much better by Mom and reduce my own level of stress from the unknown the more I learned. There are two things that made the biggest difference for me - 1) Understanding our Anatomy {the heart and gut in connection to the brain} and 2) Understanding the stages of dementia regardless of the type. Before I get into the details please keep in mind this is strictly based on my personal experience caring for Mom who lives with mixed Dementia and not at all intended to be medical advice or replacement for seeking care for your loved one.
Dementia in itself is not a disease but a loss of mental function in more than two areas. Dementia is far more than simply the loss of memory, but is noticeable because of the loss of memory and other mental abilities that affect daily life. It's rarely the sole cause because it may include a series of symptoms that affect language, judgment, memory, spatial abilities, and visual abilities. The stages represent the outward appearance as the brain continues to degenerate. The behaviors or responses vary based on the area of the brain which has degenerated.
Hello Everybody! I am so glad you are here with me today. I am the Proactive Caregiver and I specialize in educating others on how to be a proactive caregiver as well by empowering you, the caregiver, rather than the care recipient. If you cannot take care of yourself, then you cannot take care of your loved one.
Today I wanted to go a bit deeper into what Dementia is and how our loved ones are diagnosed. Just like the late Maya Angelou said "We do better when we know better" I too was able to do much better by Mom and reduce my own level of stress from the unknown the more I learned. There are two things that made the biggest difference for me - 1) Understanding our Anatomy {the heart and gut in connection to the brain} and 2) Understanding the stages of dementia regardless of the type. Before I get into the details please keep in mind this is strictly based on my personal experience caring for Mom who lives with a mixed Dementia and not at all intended to be medical advice or replacement for seeking care for your loved one.
Have you heard someone say "Oh my loved one doesn't have dementia, they have Alzheimer's" during the conversation about how their loved one is doing? This is the response of many people right now because although Dementia has been around for well over a century it has not been given due process until more recently. Alzheimer's is Dementia. It happens to be the most well-known form of the top 4 out of well over 100 different types.
HIPPA, Durable POA, MPOA, and Advance Directive are just a few of the various legal
forms that every caregiver should have on file and easily accessible at all times. Unfortunately, not everyone is familiar with them or why it is vital to have them in place as a caregiver for our spouse or other love ones we care for.
Hey everyone, we are on our Holiday break but wanted to be sure you did not mis
this very important episode of The Proactive Caregiver Podcast. Listen in as Virginia Sampson, an elder law attorney explains the numerous forms that are required and why you need them.
We will not have an episode next week as we will be with our family for Christmas
and we wish you and yours a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. We look forward
to bringing you more new, encouraging, and educational content after the new
year.
Now here is Caregiver Compliance with Virginia Sampson.
Hey everyone, todays episode of The Proactive Caregiver Podcast is a re-play of our
episode on Hospice, more than end of life. So many caregivers often dismiss Hospice as a resource because of the stigma that surrounds it as being only an end of life service. This episode will help you to understand that hospice is so much more.
We are taking some time off this Holiday season and hope you are getting some
much-needed respite time as well. Thank you, and now listen in as we learn more
about Hospice.
Let me introduce you to Yolanda Campos-Smith, a nurse of 31 years with the
majority of it in Critical Care, ICU, ER, and Cardiac Cath Lab. She has enjoyed
her past 6 years in Hospice care. Yolanda is a community educator of Hospice
services with Bluebonnet Hospice of central Texas. She loves working in this area
because it allows her a different way of getting to know patients with their families. Learning about the patient's life story is both fascinating and rewarding.
Sadly, so many think of Hospice as merely end of life services when Hospice services
can help you and your love ones long before their end of life stage begins. We
have become accustomed to think Hospice is solely the end but it is about
living a quality life as well. Their nondiscriminatory services cover home
health care, palliative care, and other therapy support services. No matter
what area your loved one lives in you can find local Hospice services to help
meet their individual needs. Many are unaware, in most cases, Medicare will
cover their services 100% under Home Health benefits.
Hey everyone. As the Holidays approach we are taking some time off to re-center and
regroup. In the meantime, we wanted to be sure you still have the tools you need. Today is a replay of episode 19 called Enneagrams with Jackie Borcherding Rylander.
Knowing our Enneagram style is helpful because it not only allows us to become more centered, it helps us to understand the motivation behind our personal preferences. More importantly, we can also learn about sources of our reactivity in connection with others and how best to respond in a proactive yet considerate way.
Thank you and now enjoy Enneagrams.
Hello Everybody! I am so glad you are here with me today. I am the Proactive Caregiver and I specialize in educating others on how to be a proactive caregiver by targeting the caregiver rather than the care recipient. If you cannot take care of yourself, then you cannot take care of your loved one.
As we hear more and more about self-care and the importance of it there is one type of self-care I believe people take for granted. Many toothpaste ads target the desire for either teeth and fresher breath, but did you know that poor oral health can affect the brain?
Today's guest is from Chicago, Illinois. I want to introduce you to Dr. Joy Poskozim, owner of Joyful Dental Care. Joy knew she wanted to be a dentist in the eighth grade when she had her braces. She was fascinated by her teeth moving into place to have a nice smile! It took 3.5 years, but once they were off, she knew dentistry was for her. The oldest of four, Joy grew up in Park Ridge and graduated from Maine South in 1990.
Joyful Dental Care was named “2010 Corporate Citizen of the Year” by The Lincolnwood Chamber of Commerce and has been named "Next-door Neighborhood Favorite Dentist" for the Edgebrook, Lincolnwood, and Sauganash areas. In 2020, Dr. Joy Poskozim earned her Fellowship with the Special Care Dentistry Association for her ongoing efforts in bringing dental care to senior communities and those that are home-bound.
Links:
www.jessicalizelcannon.com
https://www.facebook.com/Jessica-Lizel-Cannon-2123322074651542/
https://www.instagram.com/proactive_caregiver/
www.cannonlightmedia.com
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
https://joyfuldentalcare.com/
Music:
Intro: Vacation Time
by Khris Paradise
Outro: Misty by Khris
Paradise
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Today I would like to introduce you to Sarah Hyde-Williams. As co-Founder of Senior Living Advisors of Austin, Sarah has nearly 20 years of experience serving seniors and
their families as an eldercare expert through her various roles within Assisted
Living and Dementia-Supportive Communities, Home Health, and Hospice. Through
deep compassion and respect, she guides families in finding care for an aging
loved one, which can often be a difficult and overwhelming process. Her
background has provided extensive knowledge and experience that will give you
comfort in knowing that your decisions are made wisely according to what truly
matters most to you. Her practice includes Senior Housing Placement, Advanced
Care Planning and Education.
She is a State of Texas Certified Assisted Living Manager, Certified Dementia Care
Manager, Certified Dementia Practitioner, Certified Alzheimer's Disease &
Dementia Care Trainer, Certified Montessori Dementia Care Professional, and
currently serves the Lewy Body Dementia Association as Central Texas
Facilitator and Educator.
Knowing Sarah's background I felt it would be beneficial to go over some helpful steps
for caregivers to do more than simply survive the holidays. Whether you're loved
one is living at home with you or in a community for seniors then you might
already be feeling the day to day challenges and stressors without adding in
expectations for the holidays.
It might be a painful reminder if your loved one is no longer with you. It might be a source of worry or anxiety wondering if this will be their last birthday, anniversary, or even Thanksgiving celebration. Caregivers with unusually high expectations during the holidays and special occasions may feel pressure to make this time especially significant.
It is difficult adapting to our loved one's loss of abilities and accepting their changing
limitations. I wanted to hang on to some traditions in the kitchen or even
around a Christmas tree and then somewhere along the way I lost the spirit of
the holidays. It has admittedly taken me some time to be grateful for each
moment throughout the year with each opportunity to spend with Mom. I have not stopped worrying if this holiday may be her last, but while spending quality time with her, I feel more at peace with the time spent. If it is her last then I will have good memories nonetheless.
Here are a few pointers to keep in mind as you go through your holiday season:
1 - It is okay to cry. It is natural to feel depressed if your
friends are having the ideal family gathering. It is normal to mourn the past,
present, and any potential future. No amount of preparation will create
perfection so do not be afraid to ask for help so you can find time to feel
through the moment with tears.
2 - Be gentle with yourself, especially if you
have recently lost a loved one. Not everyone is jolly through the holiday
season. This is a learned skill to recognize our limitations to be able to
reprioritize.
3 - Keep evaluating your expectations for the reality check of what is
realistic. Your love one may not be as chatty as they once were but may still
enjoy listening to you or others telling stories of their current lives.
4 - Delegate responsibilities and activities so that one person is NOT taking on more
than they can accomplish. People like to help and your loved one has another
opportunity to feel included.
5 - Start new traditions that make sense. It does
not have to be the same way all the time, especially if the family is estranged
over the care for your loved one. What may be seemingly perfect on social media
or advertisements is not a reality for all. Do not be afraid to let go of the old
traditions to find space for new and different traditions.
6 - Do things together to enjoy the time spent
not just because you feel you have to. Your loved one may struggle to remember
but you can remember for them. Keep making new memories as long as you can.
7 - While you do not need to force the cheerfulness,
don't forget that humor makes many of the difficulties of life easier. Avoid
hot topic items that upset your loved one and family. You know what those areas
are and the potential they have to suck the jolly out of the atmosphere.
8 - Make time to Meditate because it is a great
practice to help keep you centered while lowering stress.
9 - Support Groups are highly beneficial so
maintain a connection with them or keep in touch with a special friend.
10 - Holiday Greetings or mail for your loved one that you may not be able to see is an added bonus for them to hear from you with a holiday card with pictures. Even if their memory is challenged the feeling lingers far longer than the memory does.
The best advice to caregivers is to be realistic. Don't overdo it. Recognize you may be physically and emotionally depleted. Don't allow commercials or media to show
advertisements of a "happy family" to become your framework of what
should be. The holidays are what you make them. Any moment can be a holiday
with pie and whip cream so try to enjoy the gift of time with gratitude.
Be sure to subscribe to the podcast on your favorite app. Not finding it there? Let me know and I will do what I can to get it added!
Links:
www.jessicalizelcannon.com
https://www.facebook.com/Jessica-Lizel-Cannon-2123322074651542/
https://www.instagram.com/proactive_caregiver/
www.cannonlightmedia.com
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
https://seniorlivingadvisorsaustin.com/
Music:
Intro:
Vacation Time by Khris Paradise
Outro:
Misty by Khris Paradise
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
As I looked back into Mom's history trying to pinpoint when, where, or how her heart was broken I was not surprised to find more specific details around childhood abuse. Today's guest is a dear friend and fellow writer who speaks wisdom and hope into the
hearts and minds of our youth. Listen in as my friend, John Harrell, shares his story of tragedy to triumph as he uses his story to teach compassion. He is a fortunate survivor of childhood physical and emotional abuse.
John serves as Chairman of the Board of Directors for Rachel’s Challenge, the largest program in the world which focuses on kindness and compassion. Named after Rachel Joy Scott, the first child killed at Columbine High School, Rachel’s Challenge transforms the lives of 2 million people per year in 40 countries.
John manages a successful business, writes a daily inspirational blog, and is a public
speaker. His audiences include corporations, trade associations, college students, and incarcerated children - truly a “captive” audience. In 2018, Harrell published his first book, “Killing My Father Then Finding Him” which became a number-one bestseller on the first day of publication on Amazon.
Because of his upbringing, John is able to connect with struggling children, offering hope to kids in sometimes hopeless situations. Our futures are not limited by our circumstances. Everyone has the power to break the generational malady of abuse, and live a meaningful and full life. John lives in Austin, Texas, and is the proud father of two sons.
Finding the power to overcome tragedy can come from many different sources. The proverbial heart is an amazing motivator, to go in good and not so good directions in life. Either way, programming begins early in life. When I found myself needing to step into Mom's world to care for her more regularly I did not see it as an opportunity until much later. I stepped into my caregiving role with quite a bit of anger and resentment towards Mom. Until I had a better understanding of what life was like for her as a teenager, then later as a thriving philanthropist as an ESL teacher. It felt like I was
meeting my mother for the first time.
I could describe my childhood growing up as a dysfunctional household but that would take the attention away from her ability to survive and thrive the best she knew how. If
only she had a mentor, such as John Harrell, to speak directly to her heart, she could have understood she was not the only one. She could have understood how to truly live a full life rather than just survive one day to the next.
The number of caregivers is rising significantly with each passing year. Unfortunately, the children of abuse may become our future caregivers. Many of those adult children are now faced with caring for their parents. It may create a new environment of abuse or it may create an opportunity for transformation. Being open to transformation is being open-minded with an open heart. To heal the heart is to heal the mind.
Be sure to subscribe to the podcast on your favorite app. Not finding it there?
Let me know and I will do what I can to get it added!
Links:
www.jessicalizelcannon.com
https://www.facebook.com/Jessica-Lizel-Cannon-2123322074651542/
https://www.instagram.com/proactive_caregiver/
www.cannonlightmedia.com
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
www.seekinggrace.com
www.Johnharrellauthor.com
Music:
Intro:
Vacation Time by Khris Paradise
Outro:
Misty by Khris Paradise
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
I wanted you to hear from today's guest because so many years passed with my
family referring to Mom as crazy long before we were aware of Dementia or how
it was affecting her brain. Unfortunately, society does the same to others that
are misunderstood mentally. Mom became a high functioning woman while living
with Bipolar Disorder, also known as manic depression. We normalized her highs
and lows for so long we dismissed the early signs for Dementia. I believe this
disorder is better understood by those who live close enough to see into the
eye of the emotional storm. In just a moment, Jarett Leger will share his
experience with mental health and bipolar disorder on his caregiving
journey.
Jarett is an Artist of many talents including painting, photography, and filmmaking. Along his journey of pursuing multiple creative fields he has encountered many colleagues and became very close to those who struggle with mental illness. Jarett feels it goes hand in hand with the self-label of "artist". He found himself
in a caregiving type positions many times by helping to prevent self-harm and
self-destructive behavior of highly talented and exceptional individuals.
Caregivers often find an emotional loop which includes statements including "I have
to…" This is a flag of burden, overwhelmed, and possibly a co-dependent
the relationship is brewing. Many of us are drawn to help others and others feel
forced into the role of caregiver. Many caregivers have High agreeableness or
conscientious personality who are trustworthy, high morality, Altruistic,
cooperative, modest, and sympathetic. It is easy to confuse what 'we have to
do' with what 'we should do' for the well-being of our loved ones.
Links:
www.jessicalizelcannon.com
https://www.facebook.com/Jessica-Lizel-Cannon-2123322074651542/
https://www.instagram.com/proactive_caregiver/
www.cannonlightmedia.com
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
https://youtu.be/D6SwzAoIUEw
Music:
Intro:
Vacation Time by Khris Paradise
Outro:
Misty by Khris Paradise
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Well, I have told you before but I will say it again, I am a firm believer that
things happening for a reason. I recently was given an opportunity to meet another caregiver who has truly become the hands and feet of our community. When his family normalized the abnormal symptoms his mother had been experiencing, he stepped in to make sense of the abnormality.
In just a moment you will meet, Chris Graham, local owner, and operator of Home
Helpers in West Austin, Texas. After spending 25 years in the tech industry he
was thrust into making life-changing decisions of care for his mother. From
living through a traumatic battle to care for his mother out of state and
convincing family that help can come in many different forms, he modeled his
company to provide those services. Chris
has been on the other side of this conversation personally with his own mother
so he knows what we are feeling and what can be done to help make sense of the
abnormality.
Listen in as Chris shares his traumatic experience in becoming a caregiver and
stepping away from a career to not only meet his Mother's needs but also follow
his heart into a new career. His company motto - B.O.L.D.
Bring your passion every day
Own your results
Love what you do
Driven by excellence
What is Home Health and Why might you consider it?
Links:
www.jessicalizelcannon.com
https://www.facebook.com/Jessica-Lizel-Cannon-2123322074651542/
https://www.instagram.com/proactive_caregiver/
www.cannonlightmedia.com
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
https://www.homehelpershomecare.com
Music:
Intro:
Vacation Time by Khris Paradise
Outro:
Misty by Khris Paradise
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
If you are like me, regardless of age, then many other words come to mind when someone mentions Medicare. Mainly words like retirement, older, government insurance, not required yet, too young to consider, and even - it can wait. Yet for the
growing number of Millennial and Sandwich generation caregivers, this topic
can't wait. Why? Well if you had a chance to listen to my previous podcast with
attorney Virginia Samson, as we discuss Caregiver Compliance then you know your
loved one will need a designated person to speak on their behalf to help them
establish or maintain their Medicare coverage. In that respect, you will need
to know more about Medicare sooner than you probably planned on.
Meet
Joe & Monique Barajas, co-owners of Barajas Insurance Group. Both are
licensed agents who live and breathe the ins and outs of Medicare and train new
agents as well to do the same. Today's podcast is a BIG deal, pun intended, so
I wanted two experts instead of one, to help me dig into the details within
Medicare. So find a comfy spot, maybe grab a pen and paper because you’re going
to want to take more than mental notes during this Medicare part 2 episode. You
can catch up on the Medicare episode 1 episode on www.JessicaLizelCannon.com/Podcast.
Links:
www.jessicalizelcannon.com
https://www.facebook.com/Jessica-Lizel-Cannon-2123322074651542/
https://www.instagram.com/proactive_caregiver/
www.cannonlightmedia.com
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Www.barajasinsurancegroup.com
Joe@barajasinsurancegroup.com
Monique@barajasinsurancegroup.com
Music:
Intro:
Vacation Time by Khris Paradise
Outro:
Misty by Khris Paradise
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
If you are like me, regardless of age, then many other words come to mind when someone mentions Medicare. Mainly words like retirement, older, government insurance, not required yet, too young to consider, and even - it can wait. Yet for the growing number of Millennial and Sandwich generation caregivers, this topic can't wait. Why? Well if you had a chance to listen to my previous podcast with attorney Virginia Samson, as we discuss Caregiver Compliance then you know your loved one will need a designated person to speak on their behalf to help them establish or maintain their Medicare coverage. In that respect, you will need to know more about Medicare sooner than you probably planned on.
Even though I am not of age yet, like many others, my age and younger, this is yet another side of caregiving which can seem overwhelming with SO MANY details.
Meet Joe & Monique Barajas, co-owners of Barajas Insurance Group. Both are licensed agents who live and breathe the ins and outs of Medicare and train new agents as well to do the same. Today's podcast is a BIG deal, pun intended, so I wanted two experts instead of one, to help me dig into the details within Medicare. So find a comfy spot, maybe grab a pen and paper because you’re going to want to take more than mental notes during this Medicare part 1 episode.
Links:
www.jessicalizelcannon.com
https://www.facebook.com/Jessica-Lizel-Cannon-2123322074651542/
https://www.instagram.com/proactive_caregiver/
www.cannonlightmedia.com
Music:
Intro: Vacation Time by Khris Paradise
Outro: Misty by Khris Paradise
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Let me introduce you to Yolanda Campos-Smith, a nurse of 31 years with the majority of it in Critical Care, ICU, ER, and Cardiac Cath Lab. She has enjoyed her past 6 years in Hospice care. Yolanda is a community educator of Hospice services with Bluebonnet Hospice of central Texas. She loves working in this area because it allows her a different way of getting to know patients with their families. Learning about the patient's life story is both fascinating and rewarding.
Sadly, so many think of Hospice as merely end of life services when Hospice services can help you and your love ones long before their end of life stage begins. We have become accustomed to think Hospice is solely the end but it is about living a quality life as well. Their nondiscriminatory services cover home health care, palliative care, and other therapy support services. No matter what area your loved one lives in you can find local Hospice services to help meet their individual needs. Many are unaware, in most cases, Medicare will cover their services 100% under Home Health benefits.
Regardless of where you are on your caregiving journey, either locally or from a distance, please consider hospice services as another proactive plan. It is worth checking in with your local services to receive a free consultation. You may not think your love one needs it right now but creating a plan that can be updated as the months pass will relieve quite a bit of stress. You are not alone. Hospice services make sure your love one receives the care they need, as they need it long before their end of life.
Many families experience excessive emotional stress from the financial aspects of care but often times stress is contributed when not everyone is on the same page regarding care plans or grieving processes. Family drama can become a road block to your love one receiving the care they deserve and need.
Yolanda and so many others are there to help you. Here in central Texas area you can reach Yolanda at (512) 200-1209 or Yolanda.smith@bluebonneths.com
Be sure to subscribe to the podcast on your favorite app. Not finding it there? Let me know and I will do what I can to get it added!
Links:
Yolanda.smith@bluebonneths.com
www.jessicalizelcannon.com
https://www.facebook.com/Jessica-Lizel-Cannon-2123322074651542/
https://www.instagram.com/proactive_caregiver/
www.cannonlightmedia.com
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Music:
Intro: Vacation Time by Khris Paradise
Outro: Misty by Khris Paradise
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
I wanted to share something that has helped me to step aside and take a different look within my caregiving journey and beyond. As a caregiver, I often speak about the stressful environments I care in but I have begun to recognize we do not all react to certain scenarios stressfully.
Have you ever thought about what type of Caregiver you are? I am not referring to the technical types such as the family caregiver, professional, independent, private, informal, or volunteer caregiver. No. This type is more centered on what motivates us personally. This is our Enneagram type. During my caregiving journey, my need to understand why this has happened to Mom with our family dynamics has led me to spiritual discovery. If you are on a similar journey or not quite sure then I ask you to listen in with an open mind.
Knowing our Enneagram style is helpful because it allows us to become more centered and develop or understand our personal preferences. It helps to know our own level of reactivity and what to do about it. More importantly, we can also learn about other people's reactivity and how best to respond in a proactive yet spiritual way.
Meet Jackie Borcherding Rylander. Jackie is a lifelong member of Riverbend Church, born and raised Austenite. A wife, mother of two young boys, criminal defense attorney, University of Texas lecturer, and teacher of God’s Word. For 10 years, she served as a prosecuting attorney in Williamson County. Since then, she has joyfully become the primary caretaker of her toddler and infant while starting her own defense practice. Jackie became fascinated by the Enneagram, which is an enlightening tool for understanding human motivations and personalities in all relationships. She now teaches varied audiences about it, including engineers, graduate students, young professionals, and adults at her church.
By understanding what drives and motivates you and your loved ones it can help to reduce stress as you learn and develop stronger or deeper relationships along your caregiving journey.
So which one are you? www.enneagramtest.net
1 - The Reformer (Rational, idealistic: principled, purposeful, self-controlled, perfectionist)
2 - The Caregiver (helper: demonstrative, generous, people-pleasing, possessive)
3 - The Performer (success-oriented, pragmatic: adaptive, excelling, driven, image-conscious
4 - The Individualists (Sensitive, withdrawn: expressive, dramatic, self-absorbed, temperamental,)
5 - The Investigator (Intense Cerebral type: perceptive, innovative, secretive, isolated)
6 - The Loyalists (Committed, security-oriented: engaging, responsible, anxious, suspicious)
7 - The Enthusiasts (Busy, Fun-Loving: spontaneous, versatile, distractible, and scattered)
8 - The Challenger (Powerful, dominating: Self-confident, decisive, willful, confrontational)
9 - The Peacemaker (Easygoing, Self-effacing: receptive, reassuring, agreeable, complacent)
Be sure to subscribe to the podcast on your favorite app. Not finding it there? Let me know and I will do what I can to get it added!
Links:
www.jessicalizelcannon.com
https://www.facebook.com/Jessica-Lizel-Cannon-2123322074651542/
https://www.instagram.com/proactive_caregiver/
www.cannonlightmedia.com
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Music:
Intro: Vacation Time by Khris Paradise
Outro: Misty by Khris Paradise
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Meet Karla Wilson, founder of Music Therapy at Home, and advocate for caregivers. Her career as a musician began at the age of 6 with from an organ, to the piano, then to the vocalist. This beginning eventually led her to Baldwin Wallace University Conservatory of Music. Karla has a degree in Music Therapy and has been a board-certified music therapist (MT-BC) for 30 years. Over this time period, she spent 13 years as a complementary therapies team manager for a Florida Hospice which gave her incredible opportunities to collaborate with massage and Reiki therapists, art therapists, and volunteers while working closely with nurses, physicians, home health caregivers, social workers, and chaplains.
Karla is no stranger to the challenges caregivers face as a caregiver for her sister, mother, and as a foster mother for a young adult with cerebral palsy and complex medical issues. From her own personal experience of loss and grief to the professional side with bereaved family members in hospice, she knows first hand how music therapy is a "helping profession" at the physiological level. As a therapist, she has been blessed to work with clients with diverse needs of all ages. From children and adults with developmental and intellectual disabilities in a school or day program setting to children with severe emotional disturbance and attachment disorder resulting from trauma and abuse, to adults with dementia and other neurological disorders. Listen in as Karla shares her caregiving journey along with the benefits of music therapy.
Be sure to subscribe to the podcast on your favorite app. Not finding it there? Let me know and I will do what I can to get it added!
Links:
www.jessicalizelcannon.com
https://www.facebook.com/Jessica-Lizel-Cannon-2123322074651542/
https://www.instagram.com/proactive_caregiver/
www.cannonlightmedia.com
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Music:
Intro: Vacation Time by Khris Paradise
Outro: Misty by Khris Paradise
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Virginia Sampson was a full-time caregiver to her husband for three years after he was diagnosed with A.L.S. while caring for four young children. Her youngest child was two weeks old when they received the diagnosis. She was also a part-time caregiver to her mother for 10 years. Her mother suffered from dementia and other illnesses.
Virginia has been an attorney for over 30 years. She currently practices Elder Law, Estate Planning, Probate, and Business Law in the Central Texas area.
Listen in as we go over the 5 documents caregivers need to be in compliance to care for their loved ones which are:
- HIPPA - Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996 allows an appointed person or party to share specific health information with another person or group.
- SDPOA - Statutory Durable Power of Attorney appoints an agent to make financial decisions for your loved one. The difference between a General POA versus Durable POA is the General ends the moment your loved one becomes incapacitated where the Durable POA stays effective until the principal dies.
- MPOA - Medical Power of Attorney is given wide latitude when consenting to health care on the principal's behalf. An agent may consent, refuse to consent, or withdraw consent to medical treatment and may make decisions about withdrawing or withholding life-sustaining treatment.
- Advance Directive (DNR) - A written statement of a person's wishes regarding medical treatment, often including a living will be made to ensure those wishes are carried out should your loved one be unable to communicate them to a doctor. The AD is more specific and appreciated by the medical profession than a DNR or Do Not Resuscitate notice.
- Declaration of Legal Guardianship - Written declaration or will for who your loved one would want to be the guardian of their person and guardian of their estate if a court found them legally incapacitated and need a guardianship.
Virginia is a consultant and coach helping businesses and individuals harness the power of compassion to heal, succeed, and thrive.
In addition to her law practice, Virginia writes and speaks about compassion and self-compassion. She is an award-winning author of two books on the subject of compassion – one for adults and a picture book for children.
Be sure to subscribe to the podcast on your favorite app. Not finding it there? Let me know and I will do what I can to get it added!
Links:
www.jessicalizelcannon.com
https://www.facebook.com/Jessica-Lizel-Cannon-2123322074651542/
https://www.instagram.com/proactive_caregiver/
www.cannonlightmedia.com
Music:
Intro: Vacation Time by Khris Paradise
Outro: Misty by Khris Paradise
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Virginia Sampson was a full-time caregiver to her husband for three years after he was diagnosed with A.L.S. while caring for four young children. Her youngest child was two weeks old when they received the diagnosis. She was a part-time caregiver to her mother for 10 years. Her mother suffered from dementia and other illnesses.
As a result of these experiences, Virginia was inspired to learn more about compassion. She has studied extensively about the new science of compassion including the psychological and physical health benefits of compassion, how compassion can be developed, how it makes us more resilient, and how it helps us heal and thrive in every area of our lives.
Virginia has been an attorney for over 30 years. She currently practices elder law, estate planning, probate, and business law in the Central Texas area.
Virginia is a consultant and coach helping businesses and individuals harness the power of compassion to heal, succeed, and thrive.
Virginia writes and speaks about compassion and self-compassion. She is an award-winning author of two books on the subject of compassion – one for adults and a picture book for children.
Be sure to subscribe to the podcast on your favorite app. Not finding it there? Let me know and I will do what I can to get it added!
Links:
www.jessicalizelcannon.com
https://www.facebook.com/Jessica-Lizel-Cannon-2123322074651542/
https://www.instagram.com/proactive_caregiver/
www.cannonlightmedia.com
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Music:
Intro: Vacation Time by Khris Paradise
Outro: Misty by Khris Paradise
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Meet Bennie Moore. A certified personal trainer by the National Academy of Sports Medicine. His journey began helping seniors with sitting aerobics which grew into a larger business by training the children of seniors along with their children as well. He as changed multiple generations by capturing their fitness focus into what is now his motto "Be Strong, Be Courageous, B. Moore!"
His business B.MooreFit assists three aspects of life - Childhood, adulthood, and golden years. With all three aspects, he specializes in nutritional needs which is matched up with the activity level for each through his programs such as his "Sit and Fit", "Body by Bennie", and his boxing program. Get more energy by being more proactive with your exercise regimen. Every choice of movement matters!
Be sure to subscribe to the podcast on your favorite app. Not finding it there? Let me know and I will do what I can to get it added!
Links:
Bennie.moore@bemoorefit.com
www.jessicalizelcannon.com
https://www.facebook.com/Jessica-Lizel-Cannon-2123322074651542/
https://www.instagram.com/proactive_caregiver/
www.cannonlightmedia.com
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Music:
Intro: Vacation Time by Khris Paradise
Outro: Misty by Khris Paradise
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Melanie Giles is a Licensed Massage Therapist and Widow based in Austin, TX.
Before dedicating her life to touch base work or hands on healing, she traveled the world as a stage performer and partner to her late husband. Together, they dazzled numerous audiences in multiple continents with their Magic and Illusions show until he received a very devastating cancer diagnosis.
Through her journey as a caregiver experiencing intense loss and grief, Melanie found her calling as a Bodyworker. She now shares her gifts through a different kind of magic: The Healing Touch. Today, her mission is to educate and highlight the importance of touch base therapy for the healing journey of the emotional and Spiritual body.
Be sure to subscribe to the podcast on your favorite app. Not finding it there? Let me know and I will do what I can to get it added!
Links:
www.jessicalizelcannon.com
https://www.facebook.com/Jessica-Lizel-Cannon-2123322074651542/
https://www.instagram.com/proactive_caregiver/
www.cannonlightmedia.com
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Music:
Intro: Vacation Time by Khris Paradise
Outro: Misty by Khris Paradise
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Intro
Meet Bahamia Ulysse, LVN! Founder of Ulysse Advocacy & Consulting boutique geriatric care management agency that designs specialized care solutions for the aging community throughout Southern California and abroad.
I found her on IG when I came across an interesting post about the 5 lies surrounding caregivers which I know I have spoken myself along my journey.
- "I am not good at caregiving. I am not a professional."
- "If I ask for help I am admitting that I am weak and incapable."
- "Medicare will help me financially support my LOWD if we chose to age in place.
- "My family physician is the expert on how to care for my LOWD".
- "What's the point of talking about what I am going through?"
The average age of the millennial caregiver is 27.
Millennial caregivers spend 21 hours/week on care responsibilities.
15% of millennial caregivers provide care for someone with dementia.
"As a nurse, I often experience the frustrations of family members and caregivers trying to navigate the insurance systems, benefits options, and healthcare interventions. These experiences taught me what you don't know can truly cause pain and suffering."
As a Geriatric Care Manager, the bulk of Bahamia's work is focused on helping caregivers (both locally in Southern California and long-distance) give their loved ones the support they need without burning themselves out in the process. She created GiveCareTakeCare.com to help caregivers sort through the all the logistics and blind spots. She excels at finding a space within the chaos for caregivers to find confidence in the care decisions they are making for their loved one's care by creating care plans for you and your loved one, separately.
Be sure to subscribe to the podcast on your favorite app. Not finding it there? Let me know and I will do what I can to get it added!
Links:
https://www.givecaretakecare.com/
www.jessicalizelcannon.com
https://www.facebook.com/Jessica-Lizel-Cannon-2123322074651542/
https://www.instagram.com/proactive_caregiver/
www.cannonlightmedia.com
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
@Nurseintheknow (IG, FB, & Twitter)
Call 323-352-6777
Music:
Intro: Vacation Time by Khris Paradise
Outro: Misty by Khris Paradise
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Intro
Meet Jnette Yates - Social Media Community Builder for the Sandwich Generation.
What's that? Don't worry, we're not talking PB&Js on this show. No, we are referring to the growing number of people in the world today who are both parents AND caregivers. Yes, they care for their children but also caring for a parent or spouse. We are the caregivers sandwiched between different sides of our love ones needs.
Listen in while Jnette and I discuss her caregiving story and why Selfcare is not Selfish, especially as her journey lends to the question of whether or not we should allow our children to help in the caregiving role for our parents, special needs siblings, or even spouses. Jnette was only 8 years old when her mother was diagnosed long before she ever became a parent. Sometimes we don't have a choice but most of the time when we do, there can be a way to include them with age appropriate tasks.
Be sure to subscribe to the podcast on your favorite app. Not finding it there? Let me know and I will do what I can to get it added!
Links:
www.jessicalizelcannon.com
https://www.facebook.com/Jessica-Lizel-Cannon-2123322074651542/
https://www.instagram.com/proactive_caregiver/
www.cannonlightmedia.com
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
@Jnetteyates
Marketing Team @textinchurch
Music:
Intro: Vacation Time by Khris Paradise
Outro: Misty by Khris Paradise
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Intro
Did you know our bodies are made up of roughly 60% of water?
Even when our emotions are stable while we caring for our loved one our energy levels may be depleted making the days harder to get through. When we are low on energy this is the body's check engine light flashing. Although there can be numerous areas related to check engine starting with the simple yet healthy ones first for yourself and your loved ones, whether they're little ankle biters or living with dementia.
Listen in to find out 15 reasons why water heals us with some suggestions of how to drink more water daily and get into our love ones.
Be sure to subscribe to the podcast on your favorite app. Not finding it there? Let me know and I will do what I can to get it added!
Links:
www.jessicalizelcannon.com
https://www.facebook.com/Jessica-Lizel-Cannon-2123322074651542/
https://www.instagram.com/proactive_caregiver/
www.cannonlightmedia.com
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Music:
Intro: Vacation Time by Khris Paradise
Outro: Misty by Khris Paradise
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Being prepared for the unknown becomes reducing stress for both you and your loved one.
Be sure to subscribe to the podcast on your favorite app. Not finding it there? Let me know and I will do what I can to get it added!
Links:
www.jessicalizelcannon.com
https://www.facebook.com/Jessica-Lizel-Cannon-2123322074651542/
https://www.instagram.com/proactive_caregiver/
www.cannonlightmedia.com
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Music:
Intro: Vacation Time by Khris Paradise
Outro: Misty by Khris Paradise
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Larry Nisenson is the Chief Commercial Officer for Genworth’s U.S. Life Insurance business, including CareScout® Caregiver Support Services, an innovative program designed to provide expert guidance and personal support for those struggling to find the right help for their loved one. He oversees the product development, distribution, marketing and business development efforts for Genworth’s U.S. Life Insurance companies – all driven to assist people in the effective financing of aging through novel products and services.
CareScout taps into Larry’s personal passion for caregiving that was ignited when he witnessed firsthand the significant impact long term care events had on the lives of several family members. An active issue advocate, he has spoken to many audiences on a variety of related critical topics including caregiving, financial security, preparing for the future, and protecting your nest egg.
For more than 25 years he has held leadership roles in the insurance and financial services industry, including President of Plymouth Rock Assurance Company, Prudential Division, VP of business development at AXA Equitable and National Sales Manager at American General Life Companies. Larry started his career in financial services in 1995 as a financial advisor in New York City.
Larry received his Bachelor of Arts degree in Political Science from Rutgers University in 1988 and serves on the Board of Directors for the Rutgers School of Design Thinking as well as the Alumni Board for Sigma Phi Epsilon. He also works with several non-profits in his community.
Topic
After scratching the surface on Long-term care in our last conversation I wanted to have a follow-up conversation to go further into the financial options available for caregivers related to Long-term care insurance. Having learned how to be the "Jane of all trades" while caregiving it did not mean I needed to become a stock trader but I did need to better understand multiple financial resources within the cost vs benefits.
On average women need services longer than men at 3.7 years of long-term care versus men with roughly 2.2 years of services needed. Medicaid and Medicare will not be your ultimate retirement solution even if you did manage to build a significant pension or 401K. Cost of care is rising faster than we can keep up with and far beyond what we imagine while in our early 30's or 40s working to build a healthy retirement. When 7 out of 10 over the age of 65 have a long-term event we must accept it is not an "if" scenario rather "when."
Listen in as Larry and I discuss interesting details surrounding Long-term Care Insurance such as
-Break down assumptions of what Long-term Care Insurance is and what it's not.
-Differences between Life Insurance vs. Long-Term Care Insurance vs. Health Care Insurance
-Diversities of policies (Hybrid or Convertible vs Whole life) and best age to consider purchasing a policy.
-What does it mean to spend down?
Be sure to subscribe to the podcast on your favorite app. Not finding it there? Let me know and I will do what I can to get it added!
Links:
https://www.genworth.com/aging-and-you/finances/cost-of-care.html
https://www.genworth.com/
www.jessicalizelcannon.com
https://www.facebook.com/Jessica-Lizel-Cannon-2123322074651542/
https://www.instagram.com/proactive_caregiver/
www.cannonlightmedia.com
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Music:
Intro: Vacation Time by Khris Paradise
Outro: Misty by Khris Paradise
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
The fear of letting go of control from caregiving when the time comes.
When your loved one transitions into Assisted Living with your help, it can be one of the most thoughtful gifts you can give them. It may not seem as if this could ever be true, but it is. Those pesky "what if" scenarios may take over your mind and fill you with unnecessary anxiety. Do your homework to find the right community which fits their needs and preferences.
The fears I experienced while Mom was living with me were the same fears I had when she moved into her new community. At some point throughout this journey faith and trust drown out all the "what if" scenarios.
Be sure to subscribe to the podcast on your favorite app. Not finding it there? Let me know and I will do what I can to get it added!
Links:
www.jessicalizelcannon.com
https://www.facebook.com/Jessica-Lizel-Cannon-2123322074651542/
https://www.instagram.com/proactive_caregiver/
www.cannonlightmedia.com
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Music:
Intro: Vacation Time by Khris Paradise
Outro: Misty by Khris Paradise
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
According to the Chinese Zodiac 2020 is the year of the Rat. The way life has been for us I would say this is the year of the Nurse. Join me today to listen in with Ramona Goode, LVN. Ramona has a Calm License, is an administrator for Assisted Living, and is currently working on her Masters in Advanced Care Patient Care. This episode is In response to the caregiver's question "How do I know when it is time to transition my loved one into assisted or memory care living?"
Topic:
Assisted Living Versus Memory Care Living
-How do I know when it's time?
-Can you explain the difference between Assisted Living and Memory Care Assisted Living?
-What do Caregivers need to consider when visiting potential facilities?
-What is the consistent or common fear caregivers worry about with Assisted Living?
-What can I say to my loved one that is reluctant to transition into an Assisted Living community?
Ramona reminds us all to 1) Know your limitations 2) Do not forget about self-care.
Be sure to subscribe to the podcast on your favorite app. Not finding it there? Let me know and I will do what I can to get it added!
Links:
www.jessicalizelcannon.com
https://www.facebook.com/Jessica-Lizel-Cannon-2123322074651542/
https://www.instagram.com/proactive_caregiver/
www.cannonlightmedia.com
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Music:
Intro: Vacation Time by Khris Paradise
Outro: Misty by Khris Paradise
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Listen in as Jessica talks again with Katie Epps from www.mybodygx.com to learn about exercise.
Links:
www.jessicalizelcannon.com
https://www.facebook.com/Jessica-Lizel-Cannon-2123322074651542/
https://www.instagram.com/proactive_caregiver/
www.cannonlightmedia.com
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Music:
Intro: Vacation Time by Khris Paradise
Outro: Misty by Khris Paradise
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Larry Nisenson
Genworth U.S. Life Insurance Companies
Chief Commercial Officer
Senior Vice-President
Larry Nisenson is the Chief Commercial Officer for Genworth’s U.S. Life Insurance business, including CareScout® Caregiver Support Services, an innovative program designed to provide expert guidance and personal support for those struggling to find the right help for their loved one. He oversees the product development, distribution, marketing and business development efforts for Genworth’s U.S. Life Insurance companies – all driven to assist people in the effective financing of aging through novel products and services.
CareScout taps into Larry’s personal passion for caregiving that was ignited when he witnessed firsthand the significant impact long term care events had on the lives of several family members. An active issue advocate, he has spoken to many audiences on a variety of related critical topics including caregiving, financial security, preparing for the future, and protecting your nest egg.
For more than 25 years he has held leadership roles in the insurance and financial services industry, including President of Plymouth Rock Assurance Company, Prudential Division, VP of business development at AXA Equitable and National Sales Manager at American General Life Companies. Larry started his career in financial services in 1995 as a financial advisor in New York City.
Larry received his Bachelor of Arts degree in Political Science from Rutgers University in 1988 and serves on the Board of Directors for the Rutgers School of Design Thinking as well as the Alumni Board for Sigma Phi Epsilon. He also works with several non-profits in his community.
Be sure to subscribe to the podcast on your favorite app. Not finding it there? Let me know and I will do what I can to get it added!
Links:
www.genworth.com
www.carescout.com
www.jessicalizelcannon.com
https://www.facebook.com/Jessica-Lizel-Cannon-2123322074651542/
https://www.instagram.com/proactive_caregiver/
www.cannonlightmedia.com
Music:
Intro: Vacation Time by Khris Paradise
Outro: Misty by Khris Paradise
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Join Jessica as she talks with Katie Epps from My Body GX about the importance of nutrition for not only your care recipient but also for yourself.
Be sure to subscribe to the podcast on your favorite app. Not finding it there? Let me know and I will do what I can to get it added!
Links:
www.jessicalizelcannon.com
https://www.facebook.com/Jessica-Lizel-Cannon-2123322074651542/
https://www.instagram.com/proactive_caregiver/
www.cannonlightmedia.com
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Katie Epps | www.mybodygx.com
“My Plate” www.choosemyplate.gov
Whole 30 diet https://whole30.com
http://jessicaseinfeld.com/
Music:
Intro: Vacation Time by Khris Paradise
Outro: Misty by Khris Paradise
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
The Importance of a Regular Routine.
This is more than the daily exercise regimen. A daily routine incorporates eating, sleeping, and spiritual habits. Our routines affect our quality of sleep which then affects our hormonal levels and the body's ability to detox. Our loved ones living with Dementia need a regular routine to help maintain muscle memory and mental muscle memory.
What have your daily routine habits become during quarantine time?
I would love to hear from you. Click the link below and contact me to share your routine.
Be sure to subscribe to the podcast on your favorite app. Not finding it there? Let me know and I will do what I can to get it added!
Links:
www.jessicalizelcannon.com
https://www.facebook.com/Jessica-Lizel-Cannon-2123322074651542/
https://www.instagram.com/proactive_caregiver/
www.cannonlightmedia.com
https://soundcloud.com/khrisparadise
Music:
Opening song: Vacation Time by Khris Paradise
Closing song: Misty by Khrish Paradise
Show Notes
Why boomerang?
o Where does this come from? What does this mean?
What is dementia?
o Disease or deterioration?
The disease of accountability? What does that mean?
What are we doing now that we did not before that may be causing this?
o Diet, exercise, cook vs. fast food.
How do we stop from launching the boomerang?
Questions
How do I cope with the anger and resentment?
o How did you?
o How do others?
I have days where I forget where I put my keys or why I walked into a room. Do I have Alzheimer?