she.: Recent Episodes

shifting her experience

A podcast for the non-traditional woman. Sophie and Tiana are two unconventional women from opposite sides of the world who are in a loving relationship. Join them as they dive deep into their experiences and explore what it means to be a woman in today’s society. They’ll speak on feminism, LGBTQ+ issues, gender stereotypes, sexuality, emotional maturity, and self-awareness. If you find yourself wanting to design your own life outside of traditional stereotypes, then shifting her experience is for you.

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Keke Palmer has questions for days, about everything under the sun. From the existential to the inconsequential. From pop culture to pop science. From the meaning of life to the meaning of W.A.P. From life in outer space to “Where the eff is Tom from MySpace?“ And everything in between. Because Baby, this is Keke Palmer, and she is here for All. Of. It.

Each week, the multi-talented Keke is taking you on a journey down the rabbit hole on a topic that she cannot stop obsessing over. She’ll also get deep with special guests, trying to answer the questions that keep us up at night. We are getting INTO IT.

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We’ve been doing our podcast she. for two and a half years, and in this episode, we wanted to highlight some of the things we’ve learned since starting our podcast. Everything from feminism, LGBTQ issues, and what we’ve learned about our relationship since starting this podcast. We’re going to talk about it all!

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In today's episode, we experiment with answering the famous "36 questions that lead to love". We explore whether intimacy can be accelerated by asking each other a specific series of personal questions, and give our overall opinion on health communication.

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In today's episode, we body image, societal pressures, harmful beauty standards, and how society favors a certain type of beauty. Episode trigger warning: mention of eating disorders and harmful bodily behaviors.Visit Body Art Forms: bodyartforms.com

Eating Disorder Resources:
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In today's episode, we re-release an episode we feel is still so relevant. With everything going on right now in the US regarding the abortion bans and regulating pregnant peoples bodies, we felt this was a crucial time to reiterate that a woman’s purpose on this earth is not to be a baby machine.The greatest sign of gender inequality being alive and well is how society pressures women to have children and by a certain age. When will we stop giving women deadlines, and implying that a life without a child isn’t as meaningful?

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We interview each other about our own insecurities and have some healthy dialogue around how they come into play in our relationship.

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Podcast recommendation: The Eating Disorder Recovery Podcast

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In today's episode, we re-release an episode we feel is still so relevant with LGBTQ+ rights being threatened now in the wake of the Oslo attack, roe v wade being overturned, and now the Supreme Court in the US threatening to examine marriage equality.

The LGBTQ+ community doesn’t get enough credit for all the positive examples, values and activism that our community exemplifies. Instead our community is often underrepresented in mainstream culture. We believe that there are several aspects of the LGBTQ+ community that society as a whole can learn from, and we’re going to talk about all the positives that our community demonstrates.

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In this episode, we compare notes with LGBTQ bride-to-be Cammie Scott, and discuss how the wedding industry can be more inclusive.

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In honor of Pride starting, we read off some common and not-so-common LGBTQ+ terms and slang and give our definition of what we believe each word means.

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In one of the most controversial court cases in generations, the United States supreme court has recently drafted a decision to end legal protections for abortions. If the law is implemented, it's expected that about a half of states will ban or seriously limit abortion. Today, we’re going to chat about the critical importance of reproductive rights and our arguments against so-called “pro-lifers.” 

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That's right, we're married! We discuss how we made our wedding unique to us, our vows, and how we're planning to keep our marriage healthy.

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Queer bars have long been understood as havens from heteronormativity.  As LGBTQ people become more accepted in society, it seems the straight presence in gay bars is more than ever.  As we plan our own bachelorette party, we got to thinking about straight people having their bachelorette parties in LGBTQ bars. Then we got to thinking about some of the ways in which straight people can be more mindful in gay bars. Let's talk. 

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We hear the phrase a lot, "in order to know where you’re going, you need to know where you’ve been.” We’ve recently been wondering about genealogy and having our own discussions surrounding the topic of ancestry, history, and how much of this is important for our identity. Do we need to know our past in order to know who we are? We discuss.

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We hear the phrase “do something outside of your comfort zone” a lot in society. It’s taught to provoke personal growth and an opportunity to embrace change in your life. But is this blanket statement really the best self-improvement advice to give people? Should we be doing things outside of our comfort zone more or is that lazy advice for personal growth? Let’s explore this topic.

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It goes without saying that LGBTQ+ relationships are about more than just sex, and it seems like a very obvious statement to make, but unfortunately, it’s actually not that obvious in our heteronormative society. Why do so many people automatically associate an LGBTQ+ relationship with sex? Let’s discuss!

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It’s no secret that women in particular face a greater pressure to be likable as they navigate through society. Be a likable boss, a likable date, a likable presence in the room...but are we really just implying that women should take the backseat in society and adhere to gender stereotypes?

More often than not, it’s the women in society that are pressured to be likable, approachable, and warm. This burden placed on women often affects us when we try to be assertive or passionate about something as it can get misconstrued as bitter, mean, and overbearing. Let's explore this.

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In today's episode, we share our personal stories of when we realized we were attracted to women and what our experience was like. While we don't personally love the phrase “coming out”, we want to share our stories of when we began to explore our sexuality and embrace dating women.

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Societal gender roles believe that women are biologically more nurturing than men, instead of socialized to become the nurtures. This belief has reinforced the traditional view of the feminine role as nurturing and caring as opposed to tough, logical. It seems pretty sexist to suggest that women should provide this special attention. Not only are women expected to nurture children, but we are also conditioned to nurture grown men in society. Let’s discuss!

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The "three date rule" is something we hear about in society in relation to waiting to have sex until the third date when you’re newly dating someone. Today, we’re going to chat about why this is a harmful narrative to tell in society and how it doesn’t automatically guarantee a healthy relationship.

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Spoiler alert, we all do! In today’s episode, we talk about examples of internalized homophobia within ourselves, but also in how we’ve seen it within others in society…including those who identify as straight. You can have internalized homophobia, and not be explicitly homophobic. Let’s talk. 

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Our guest today is Schuyler Bailar, a trans man who is an elite athlete, trans rights advocate, and a well-known social media activist. We’re going to chat with him about the trans athlete ban going on in the US, how he tackles toxic masculinity, and his experience navigating society.

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Texas has banned all abortions past the 6-week mark, so essentially almost all abortions completely, and enacted a hunt for people seeking the procedure. Ultimately making pregnant patients suffer.  In today's episode, we address why this is so problematic and how once again, society still finds it imperative to control women’s bodies. 

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We receive a lot of messages about us as a couple and how we keep our relationship healthy. We hear about red flags when it comes to relationships a lot in society, so what about those green flags? Today we're chatting about some green flags in a relationship (or friendship!) and how you can spot early on if your relationship will be a healthy one.

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Baby gender reveal parties are rituals that celebrate the gender binary and reinforce gender stereotypes. These parties are harmful because they are the very first attempt to box that baby into a gender that they may not feel represents who they are as they get older. For children to feel safe, we need to knock down the walls that cage them in. 

Is a baby’s gender something to be celebrated? And if so, why? We’re going to chat about why baby gender reveals can be unhealthy for children and society as a whole, and how it contributes to society’s expectations of people because of their gender. 

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Discrimination and oppression can be an everyday experience for trans people and can affect so many areas of their lives. Today we bring on reality star, activist, and author Precious Brady-Davis to speak on trans issues, being the first trans bride on Say Yes To The Dress, and her husband's pregnancy.

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Examples of misogyny and male privilege are present on the streets, in politics, in the workplace, but also in sex. So today, we’re going to talk about the ways in which misogyny is present during sex and how it’s made very obvious through orgasms.

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Sex is a natural aspect of life and a fundamental part of being human. The lack of accurate sex education leads to misinformation on health-related matters such as menstruation, STD awareness, reproduction and fertility, and consent. Today, we chat with sex educator Leeza Mangaldasto get her perspective on the cultural stigmatization of sex and how to break this stigma in society.

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We bring on Courtney Revolution, the star of Netflix's The Circle, to chat about gay representation. We discuss Colton Underwood's coming out, LGBTQ+ visibility, and how heteronormativity assumes that there is a certain way to be gay, look gay, and act gay.

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LGBTQ+ representation in the media is visibility. Visibility is normalization for marginalized groups and an opportunity for other stories outside of heteronormativity to be told. So today we’re going to highlight some of our favorite LGBTQ+ portrayals in the media and why we love these representations.

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In this episode, we bring on the founder of the popular Instagram page @fuck__patriarchy, to discuss how she brought feminism to social media on such a large scale. We tackle the existence of patriarchy,  the damaging effects that it has on society, and tangible examples of patriarchy in our day-to-day lives!

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Sometimes, we humans tend to settle for less than we deserve in life because of insecurities, societal pressure, or we may not even realize we’re settling. When we settle, we often get into a pattern that leads to us eventually being disappointed. So today, we’re going to chat about why settling can cause a snowball effect of unhappiness, and why it’s important to set standards for what you deserve.

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No means no.  When we hear "no means no" we often associate the phrase with consent. But what about other aspects of life? Like dating, friendships, and even work environments? Today, we’re going to chat about how the phrase “no means no” applies to every scenario in life, and how to feel empowered in your choice to say no. 

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What are our star signs? How has the past year affected our relationship? We celebrate our 1-year anniversary of she. with a Q&A to answer all the questions our listeners had for us!

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How do you know if someone is gay? What counts as lesbian sex? In today's episode,  we answer some of the most searched questions on the web when it comes to being LGBTQ+ and gay dating.

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The adult entertainment industry is an industry that is constantly scrutinized, shamed, and seen as something we just don’t talk about in society. So today, we’re going to bring on a special guest, adult performer, Cherie DeVille, to chat about her experience in the porn industry, the challenges that come with working in such a taboo industry, and how her profession ties into her own empowerment.

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Since the news of Sarah Everard’s death in London,  you may have seen women online sharing their own experiences with their safety or the lack thereof. You may have also seen the phrase “not all men” circulating the internet... but this response is quite damaging and takes away from the actual issue that exists in society. Today, we’re going to chat about why it’s problematic to use the response of “not all men” when women speak out about their experiences, and clarify exactly which men we’re talking about when we talk about gender privilege. 

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Empathy is something that we don’t often think about when it comes to dealbreakers in friendships, relationships, and even work environments. But it’s one of the most important things when it comes to developing meaningful and deep connections with people, and also bettering yourself in the process. We’re going to chat today about what empathy is, how to spot someone that lacks empathy from a mile away, and why it’s important to be empathetic.

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Trigger warning: sexual abuse, rape, and consent.
We’ve heard a lot more about consent in the past few years thankfully, but many people still aren’t sure what consent actually looks like, sounds like, or its definition. So we’re going to make that very clear today and chat about what exactly consent is and how it can actually be very sexy.

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In society, we're so accustomed to using binary language when describing people and in how we perceive others to be. This is why the non-binary identity is so important. While being non-binary can mean different things to different people, our guest Heather Ria (she/they) speaks on their non-binary experience and what a lot of people tend to get wrong about the non-binary identity. 

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Sophie has spoken openly about women’s healthcare and her own life living with endometriosis,  but now we're dedicating a whole episode to raise awareness on this disease. So today, Tiana interviews her fiancée Sophie about her experience with endometriosis and what it’s like living with what society sees as a "mysterious women’s disease" that has no cure.

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Even as a couple, we know the most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself. Which is why it's so important to self-reflect on your own thoughts, experiences, and life path. In honor of our journal reflect. coming out on Amazon, we’re going to chat about what it means to self-reflect, and we’re also going to read you some of the prompts that we included in our self-reflective journal!

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While the world was busy making noise and watching two white men fight for power in the US, yet again — we thought it was important to take the attention off the repetitive “men in power” narrative and focus on the women in politics who are changing the world. So today we wanted to put the spotlight on some of those women who are changing the world.

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Whether you’re single or in a new relationship, we all at some point have asked ourselves, what does it feel like when you meet your person? How do you know if this person is right for you? Is there such a thing as soulmates? We chat about what it feels like to meet someone you’re so sure about and some healthy green flags that we believe are tell-tale signs that you’ve met your person.

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In light of the new Sex and the City spin-off series being announced, we wanted to look at everything the original series got right...but also everything they got wrong! We’re going to chat about the good, the bad, and the downright confusing parts of the smash hit series, Sex and the City.

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Entitlement can present itself in many different forms — the expectation for things to work in your favor, ignoring things that you feel don’t apply to you, or by overriding other people’s experience your own self-importance.  On a larger scale, we see entitlement and privilege tie into each other, and we’re going to explore today why that is.

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As we begin 2021, many of us follow the tradition of making New Year's resolutions in the hopes of a better year. But these resolutions often don’t end up sticking and we ultimately forget about them. So what can you do instead that actually encourages follow through? We’re going to chat about why you should ditch making New Year's resolutions and focus more on goal-setting alternatives.

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Where are we getting married? What advice do we have for LGBTQ+ teens? How do we feel about "childless guilt?" We answer all the questions that you submitted via Instagram as a thank you for a great first year of she.

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Recently, it’s been brought to light that one of Instagram’s most popular feminist pages, with a following of 6.5 million people, was run by two cis men. So is this allyship or ownership? While yes, men can be feminists too, feminist allyship falls silent when the true identities are a secret to the public.

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LGBTQ+ representation in films and TV are few and far between. Which is why gays everywhere were pretty excited when they heard that Happiest Season, an LGBTQ+ Christmas movie featuring two gay women, was coming out. No pun intended. But even though we’re excited to have a queer Christmas film, we do have a few opinions on it and wonder if the movie could have better represented a queer couple in 2020. 

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We live in a time where almost anyone can become famous overnight, but with this fame also comes the risk of being canceled. Is this cancel culture we’ve created, toxic? Are we giving people the opportunity to learn and grow as individuals if we cancel them before they can correct their mistakes? 

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The birth control pill has been seen, for the most part, as an empowering way for many women to have control over their sexual health and their bodies. But why do we, as a society, put so much of the contraceptive responsibilities on women, yet there is so little funding into the research surrounding women’s health? Let’s chat. 

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In today’s society, especially with social media, hate speech and hate culture as a whole has been given a platform to allow toxicity into our daily lives. It’s become a routine to encounter hate on a daily basis. We’re going to explore what motivates people to be hateful and chat about how it comes down to self-awareness and your own triggers. 

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Everyone embodies what’s considered both masculine and feminine characteristics. We know this right? So why are certain traits associated with gender, when it's more personality-based? We bring in our only straight male friend in LA, Spencer Roehre, to get a man’s point of view on how gender stereotypes can hold everyone back from true equality. 

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Ah the L word, and we’re not referring to the showtime scripted series. We’re talking about the word lesbian, the word we so often refrain from using in society because of its negative and harsh cultural undertones. We bring our friend Kara into the conversation to explore what the term lesbian represents and why many in the LGBTQ+ community prefer more inclusive terms like, gay or queer.

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Living on your own, away from home can be daunting for some, but it’s an essential part of self-discovery, gaining independence, and becoming self-reliant. Traditionally, we tend to see kids staying at home for as long as they can to reap the benefits of financial security and domestic care while being cushioned from reality. Oftentimes, it’s not until the person gets married or finds a serious partner to move in with do they actually leave home.  We’re going to discuss why this tradition holds you back from true independence. 

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Traditionally, anger is viewed as something negative. But what if we turned it around and saw anger as a positive emotional outlet? We examine anger as a justifiable emotion and reaction, and how to use anger to set up personal boundaries. 

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Therapy can be a productive and healthy way to better yourself, improve your mental health, as well as boost your self-esteem and outlook on life. Today, we’re going to chat about our personal experiences with therapy and our thoughts about how these experiences impacted us.

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It’s no secret that we live in a heteronormative world where being straight is considered the default. We dissect why society enforces heteronormativity and why this is damaging to the advancement of our society and specifically LGBTQ+ people.

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Language is an unequivocal representation of our society, and how we use it often sets the precedent for what is tolerated, accepted, and passed down through generations. We discuss ways in which our language contributes to a patriarchal society, and how phrases like “daddy issues" or “man-hater” affect equality.

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Falling in love is different for everyone and of course, it takes time to really get to know someone. However, we’ve been told in society that some fall in love quickly, while for others, months can go by where they aren’t sure. Is one of the biggest myths we’ve been told in our society that it takes time to fall in love with someone? Do we mistake comfortability and time invested for love? 

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Many people find it difficult to have open, honest communication with their partners, or even to exude healthy communication at work or in friendships. However, we believe the root of the problem starts with people having a difficult time defining what healthy communication actually is or what it looks like. So today, we want to chat about a major relationship killer: unhealthy communication or the lack of...and some examples of ways to improve communication in a relationship.

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When we think of a traditional family or traditional mothers, we tend to associate it with a certain type of parenting and family atmosphere. But what about the non-traditional mothers who challenge stereotypical roles for women? Maybe they parent alone, or perhaps they've designed their own life. We want to chat about THOSE women...and we’re going to bring in both of our mothers to chat about their experience with non-traditional motherhood!

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We hear the term IQ used a lot to measure a person’s intelligence, but oftentimes especially in the education system, we don’t acknowledge that there ARE different types of intelligence. Education has been built around this notion which leads many people to underestimate their own value and essentially sell themselves short.

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Traditionally in society, we tend to associate breakups with failure. But what if we viewed breakups from a different perspective? What if we saw the relationship from an experience point of view and changed the discussion around what a breakup represents.

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Have you ever not been able to get there with a partner? We bring in leading sex therapist Casey Tanner to discuss how achieving orgasm starts with you and how redefining sex can equal pleasure.

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It’s no secret that in society, there is a lot of shame surrounding women’s bodies, and this goes for the biological function of our periods too. We're going to explore where this shame comes from and why the conversations and mentality surrounding periods need to change.

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We’re learning more and more that some situations don’t require an apology even though we’re inclined to give one anyway. However, apologizing when you ARE in the wrong is a sign of maturity. We’re going to chat about the difference between necessary apologies and unnecessary apologies.

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Throughout our own personal journeys, we all have friendships that fulfill different parts of our experience. However, we tend to expect the friends in our lives to fulfill every single aspect that we’re seeking in a friendship. Which is why having different friends, for different reasons can be important for your own happiness. 

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When you really think about it, what exactly is women’s clothing? Why is it that certain articles of clothing are “assigned” to women, and some to men. We dive into some of the issues with clothing selected for women.

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Society has made small steps towards progress for the equality of both men and women. But we’re not quite there yet. We’re going to chat about some of the insane double standards that still exist today for men & women.

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What are some common toxic traits that people have and may not realize they have? No one is perfect and there are always aspects of ourselves we can improve on. Whether it be in relationships, friendships, or work environment, we’re going to discuss recognizing if YOU have toxic traits and tips to cultivate self-awareness.

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The LGBTQ+ community doesn’t get enough credit for all the positive examples, values and activism that our community exemplifies. Instead our community is often underrepresented in mainstream culture. We believe that there are several aspects of the LGBTQ+ community that society as a whole can learn from, and we’re going to talk about all the positives that our community demonstrates.

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Take if from a couple who spent a year 8,325 miles apart; long distance relationships aren’t easy, but they CAN work. We discuss our 8 unique tips for easing the difficulty of a long distance relationship and what everyone else can learn from LDRs. 

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Knowing what you want from life will enable you to find it. Sophie and Tiana talk about the law of attraction, how they met and not settling until you find your person.

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The month of June is known in the LGBTQ+ community as a time for celebration and honoring the legacy that so many people fought for. But it’s important to learn about the history behind the movement we’re celebrating too.

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Coming out is an evolving process. In our society, there is this notion that we’re to have so much of our life figured out at such a young age, and that applies to sexuality too. But being open about your sexuality isn’t limited to age. And no one’s coming out trajectory is the same.

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Inequality in the workplace is a prevalent reality for women even in today's society. We discuss some of the common barriers women face in their career and how our experience as a woman in the workplace has impacted us. 

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For hundreds of years, there has been this outdated expectation that when a woman marries, she will take their husband's last name. But are you becoming a family unit or are you swapping part of your identity for your partners? We give our thoughts about changing your last name for marriage. 

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Equality in a relationship is more than just the division of responsibilities. We give our thoughts on emotional, physical, sexual equality in relationships.

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The greatest sign of gender inequality being alive and well is how society pressures women to have children and by a certain age. When will we stop giving women deadlines, and implying that a life without a child isn’t as meaningful?

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What are love languages and how can they help you understand yourself and your partner better? We discuss compatibility within the 5 love languages.

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WTF is going on in some of these Disney princess movies and why is the witch always old and ugly? Like many others in quarantine, we’ve been binging Disney Plus and noticed some questionable messages. We investigate the role of women in Disney princess movies.

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What does it mean to be bisexual and what are some of the challenges that come with the label? We discuss our experience with bisexuality and society's perception of it.

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Society puts so much pressure on getting married, especially by a certain age, but is it really that important? We discuss how marriage doesn’t need to be the goal.

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France has made catcalling illegal and the UK is considering following in their footsteps. Jay walking is illegal, so why isn’t gender-based street harassment?

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What is emotional intelligence and can you have a healthy relationship without emotional maturity? We discuss how the success of a relationship depends on how emotionally mature you are, and if that matches your partner...or even your friend.

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Sophie and Tiana debate the benefits and issues with labels in both sexuality and everyday life.

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What makes up the female identity and what does it mean to be a woman in today’s world? We dive into the term “feminist” and what went wrong.

shiftingherexperience.com

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Marriage, children, beauty standards, quieting your voice. When it comes to being a woman there are many societal pressures that are frankly, outdated. Sophie and Tiana talk rejecting societal pressure and designing your own life.

shiftingherexperience.com