Assassin.ly: Recent Episodes
Sam Barbaro
Assassin.ly follows an assassination startup in a New York where murder is now legal—so long as you fill out the right paperwork. Join Mallory, the CEO of Assassin.ly, and Ben, the guy who is letting her stay in his mom's basement, as they navigate and narrate this brave new world to their shareholders. Listen as they launch their business, hire the only two assassin applicants left in the city, participate in the Murder Games, and try their best to turn bureaucracy into profit.
Assassin.lyis a comedy and should not be taken as business advice or even bad business advice.
Transcripts and more available at fearsomemorning.com
The season finale! There are consequences. Maybe. Mallory and Ben may have never actually incorporated the business or paid for insurance. Uh-oh.
In an effort to fundraise and gain popularity, Assassin.ly participates in the first annual Murder Games. Equipped with Drano and a plastic cauldron from Party City, Kill Witch ventures into the arena.
Mallory’s grandma revokes funding and awards it instead to Mallory’s mom to set up an Esty store. The team has to fundraise and come up with products that people want but don’t need.
Assasin.ly introduces Netflix-style subscription pricing. We learn about the company’s first (totally intentional) murders.
Kill Witch throws together homemade lip balms and face masks, all in the time it takes you to fly into a rage.
Ben has always wanted to be a psychic. He worked so hard to achieve his goal, but it turns out he’s the wrong kind.
On the fence? Mallory lists some people who should be assassinated, mainly from her family. Actually, exclusively from her family. Unfortunately, her argument is compelling.
Mallory and Ben host a launch party at a cold but well-attended children’s playground in Queens.