The Marie Dubuque Show: Recent Episodes
Marie Dubuque
Certified life coach Marie Dubuque answers your questions about dating, relationships and those tricky social situations that make you crazy! She will lay it on the line, tell it like it is...and make you laugh along the way!
Becoming more likeable is not what you think. You don't have to command the room, or become more charming or funny, or witty.
It's easy to resent your friends because they have an easier life, but things always change...
Don't feel bad if you have a difficult time moving from one home to another. Take it from me, this is a tough experience!
I am not talking about good friends who need a shoulder to lean on...I am talking about the people who take advantage and who are always feeling "wronged."
If this person dismisses your concerns and tries to sweep the problem under the rug, watch out!
Often, when someone lashes out at you like that, the reason could be completely unrelated.
I think we all have someone like this in our lives. And usually we let them drone on and on...but not anymore...
Is your friend embarrassed to admit that you are her pal? Could be, but probably has to do with a different reason....
If someone is lashing out at you, should you a. defend yourself b. simply leave the room? Neither! Let's talk about how to get this person to back off!
I know your initial reaction would be to answer sarcastically, but don't, and here's why....
What does it really mean if someone says they want to keep in touch with you? Are they just being polite??
I have had that happen...I think we all have. You know someone can't stand you even before you have uttered a word!
Your friend comes to you with a problem, and after listening carefully, you respond with a thoughtful answer. And yet this person doesn't like the answer. You can simply say, "Then don't ask me for my opinion!" But why did they come to you in the first place??!! How to handle these types of people.
Groups can be tough. Whether you are surrounding the water cooler, at a party or on a zoom call, here's how to deal...
When someone asks you if you are doing alright, it is OK to say no, and explain why. I think we are all accustomed to just soldiering through, and that will not help you get through the tough times.
Remember, these types are looking for something that you are sensitive about. They want to get under your skin....
This is a touch relationship. Remember, if you cut off contact with her, you lose contact with your dad. There may be a way to salvage both.
Yes, kick them to the curb...and I will tell you why. This could be the jolt this person needs to get his/her life together!
If your partner yells, "I don't love you," in the heat of an argument, that is not a reason to leave him. People say things that they don't mean all the time when they are angry. But if he sits you down calmly and utters those words, you need to listen.
It depends...if this person is a drama king/queen who is always looking for someone to be mad at, you should handle the situation much differently than if a good friend who is usually pretty laid back starts acting standoffish.
This is a tough situation. But remember, it probably has nothing to do with religion and more about control.
I am not saying to kick him to the curb (not yet anyway) but you two need to have a chat!
If your boyfriend/girlfriend is moving across the country or across the world, should you follow him/her?
You don't want to come across as cold, but you don't want to get too close to co-workers.
If you are really trying to listen to your partner, yet he is not having it, saying you interrupt and get too emotional, is this a sign of something more?
This is a sticky situation. Do you tell your friend to pay up...badger them until they cough up the money or let it go?
No matter how eccentric these people are, or how different they are from your parents, you need to find a way to get along...but remember, your relationship is with your girlfriend, not with her family.
What do you do when your fiance's parents (your future in-laws) constantly invite his ex-girlfriend to all family functions?? I don't like ultimatums, but in this case....
I'm not saying you have to walk on egg shells when you visit your father, but if you know the hot-button issues, don't bring them up! But more importantly, if you ask your dad the right questions, he might not become so argumentative.
A young woman who's boyfriend professed his love just days before suddenly say he "needs space," and mean it?
It is easy for me to say to embrace single life, but honestly, you don't know what is going on in someone else's relationship.
Getting engaged should be a joyful time in your life...but not when your sister is resentful.
Daughter in-law wants to hear more from her husband's parents. They are her only real family. Could it be because she doesn't have kids yet?
I have nothing against vegans. (I am one, sort of.) But vegans who throw their veganism in your face is another matter entirely!
Your friend wants to know everything that is going on in your life, but will reveal nothing about hers...What gives?
It depends...on what you hope to gain and whether or not you want to rekindle the friendship. Or is it closure you need?
Would you want to know if people were talking behind your back? But remember, be prepared that your friend may not believe you...and then be patient. The back-stabbers' true colors will come out!
Dealing with a boastful person can be frustrating and exhausting! But there is a way to handle them....
You know those people who simply have to be the center of attention and always steal the show and take the spotlight away from everyone else? Sometimes, these types don't even realize what they are doing. But it doesn't mean you have to sit in the corner and just listen to them go on and on....
Is she/he not ready to date anyone...or you in particular? It's probably you, and here's why....
If someone tells you that she is only interested in you a platonic way, but then shows your picture to friends and brags about how handsome you are, what does all this mean?
I think no matter how old you are, you want your parent's approval. And often, they don't understand that you would rather not live in someone else's shadow.
You have to keep your guard up and really wonder what this "friend" really wants from you.
Those are the worst kinds of friends, and yet, we refuse to drop them, and almost get used to these really bad qualities!
If it happens once, then maybe there was an emergency, but twice, you are someone's second choice, clearly!
One of my YouTube viewers was given a promotion but no raise and she works more than 60 hours per week! Let's talk about how she would approach the boss.
Should you get in her face and ask her why she all of a sudden ghosted you? No, you should act completely normal like nothing ever happened and just be polite and say hi when you see her and make small talk on occasion, or just talk about work-related issues as if you were nothing more than acquaintances. And I'll explain why...
This person always disagrees with anything and everything you say in front of everyone else no matter what!
I see these people who look back dreamily on the relationship that slipped through their fingers and they wonder what if?
When you have feelings for someone and they don't feel the same way, eventually you let it go...but two years later?
Large groups can be intimidating! But if you want to get close to one or two people, I think you should do the opposite of what you think is the plan! (I'll explain.)Also, hang around the food table if you are at a party or a networking event. People always gravitate toward the food! And then, if you aren't talking to someone, you can look like you are examining the food, figuring out what to eat next!
Do you ever feel like a "friend" would dump you if you stopped doing them favors? You may be right!
One of my YouTube viewers has a friend who won't stop talking. In fact, she chases after him and continues to talk! Boundaries people, boundaries!!
You don't want to antagonize this person because you have to work with him/her! But at the same time, you want to let them know subtly that you are not going to be a door mat either!
What do you do if you and your friends are traveling a fair distance to a party and you were the only one not invited? To top it off, your family has a history with the honoree, AND they said they would "pencil you in" if there is a cancellation!! What??!! Is this a party or a dental appointment?
You are mortified because this person just revealed something really personal, and make no mistake...they knew exactly what they were doing!
You know the type...they are sweet as pie, while trying to tear you a new one. They are the people who appear to be nice and kind, and yet, when you walk away, you leave wondering what just happened!?
People are so brazen as to think they have every right to ask certain questions. And believe me, they know good and well that they are putting you on the spot. How to stop them once and for all from ever asking you a personal, nosy question again!
This always seems to happen in your proudest moment. You are so happy about an accomplishment..even the smallest little milestone. There is always one person who can't stand that you are the center of attention. And they try to sabotage your small success in some way...
Sometimes, no matter what you do, you can't please someone. And you have tried everything! This might be someone you work with or a family member. Here's the solution....
You thought this person was your best friend...Your BFF for life. Now, she is closer to someone else...Hasn't dropped you completely as a friend, but this other person is her go-to confidante now. How do you handle the situation?
Sometimes losing a friendship can be just as painful as the end of a romantic relationship...but it doesn't have to be!
It is a tricky situation, and believe me, this person probably has treated other people in a similar way. So, take meticulous notes on everything he/she says. Document, document, document! And above all, there is a way to be professional and friendly without giving them ammunition!
I can't believe how many people feel like it isn't "normal" to be flying solo, and I am here to tell you it is! Embrace your singleness and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Sure, put yourself out there, and be open to meeting new people. But don't make it an obsession and be happy in your own skin...on your own two feet.
Do you ever get the feeling that someone, either a co-worker, family member or acquaintance just doesn't like you and you can't figure out why? Are you paranoid or is this person jealous of you? I vote jealousy!
Why do I share completely arbitrary and useless information with strangers and then care what they think?!
What does that really mean? Do they think you are full of yourself? Or..simply jealous?
Working on commission is tough. Why does this fellow employee want to take the easy way?
And what if this person is your roommate? And could he be taking advantage of the situation?
A problem I encountered over the weekend and should a listener ask out his co-worker who he thinks is flirting?
This woman is going through a divorce and leaning on her "friend." Or is this the beginning of romance?
What do you say to your husband's sister and how do you handle the situation at family gatherings?
How the singer handled the after-math of her New Year's Eve fiasco is worse than the actual performance...and what should you say to people who always have to be better than you are?
The holidays aren't even here yet, and already I am already having meltdowns! And is it OK for your boyfriend to spend time with female buddies? No, not really, and I'll explain why.
Why would you give someone a hard time for taking a few months off from work? Wouldn't we all like to do that?
You never know who you will meet when you are looking for a Starbucks! And what do you do if your friend basically abandons you for a year and then reappears in your life as if nothing happened?
How do you handle someone who simply saunters up to you while you are talking to a friend and then changes the subject to something completely different?
This person may act like your best friend, but could actually become your worst enemy...
When you have to clean out a loved one's house and handle less than warm and friendly family members, it's enough to drive you over the edge...speaking of the edge, why can't I be more cool, calm and collected!!
What do you say to the crazy boss lady who refuses to believe that there is another way to lead a happy life?!
Also, do you need to give this person an explanation as to why you don't want to date her?
Why do we look at our cars as extensions of who we are? And is it OK for a friend to ditch you for a new relationship?
Is it OK for your man to be constantly eyeing other girls and bragging about it to you?
Are you interested in someone only because he showers you with attention, or is he the real deal?
I'm talking about my first Lulu Lemon experience, and a friend who is completely distant once her bff moves away.
You know those so-called friends who seem to "care" about your situation when all they want to do is talk behind your back. Here's how to handle those catty people who really only care about themselves!
As long as the relationship works for you, what does it matter, who does what? And how long should you put up with a friend who lies?
This one though, really takes the cake. I am not sure I would stay friends with this person....
Someone asks you a question about your finances and you don't want to answer. What do you say?
An incident happened to me while I was waiting at our local transit station. And it makes you think about how secure and safe you really are.
It's bad enough to be dumped by someone at work, but then to have to see him everyday?!
Even if your girlfriend is not cheating, but you feel she is not really present in the relationship, should you move on?
That is a tough one, but sometimes, you can't force "closeness" and just have to find a way to get along.
15 minutes is better than three hours, if the conversation is really meaningful. I'll explain.
And what can you do about it? A lot..because you don't want your sister to become your ex's spy!
And now, your buddy has basically dumped all his old friends in favor of the love of his life...or is she?
That is exactly what our listener did, and no surprise, the date didn't go well, and he is wondering why!!
There is something you can tell these types that might just turn their behavior around.
This person is intimidated by you, because you have the life she wants! Now, how to handle her...
It depends...If you were the one who broke up with her, and now you have changed, then yes! But if she called it off, then absolutely now. This case has a grey area...I'll explain.
Everyone has said something they really didn't mean...or the person took it the wrong way. How do you rectify the situation?
In fact, you don't owe this person an explanation at all! It's OK to avoid, avoid, avoid.
If someone asks you for free services, no matter what your profession is, say no. And then tell them off...you have to, or it will happen to someone else.
Your coworker can't stand you...And you just got a new promotion. Now you are her supervisor! What to do?
If you are the favorite and everyone knows it, how do you deal with the resentment? And you hate the boss just as much as they do!
We have reality TV to thank for people feeling like they have to divulge all kinds of personal information!
Have you ever taken a job and then suddenly regretted that decision because you think your boss might be crazy?
Have you ever been on a date and you thought there was a real connection and come to find out the other person didn't think the evening went well at all?
So you put your foot in your mouth after you made an unflattering comment about your coworker's weight. Don't make a big deal about it...but there is one thing you can say that might make all the difference.
If you got into a confrontation with someone you work with, how do you handle seeing them the next day? And what do you say?
If you keep changing your hair or do something drastic with your clothes, are you hiding some deep, dark problem? Maybe.
When I asked someone why they looked so good, she replied that she's getting a divorce! Is splitting up good for your self esteem?!
I have to say I have been getting some unwanted attention lately from perfect strangers. Could it have to do with the six hair extensions I recently put in? Ladies, if you know about extensions, three on each side is not very many. So, if that isn't it, what gives?
Do you ever get so caught up on how you appear that you can't even pay attention to what the person is saying? Join the club!
You've told this person you don't want to talk about it. And yet they bring up the same thing over and over again. Just to dig the knife in and twist it? Yes!
Someone hit on me! And I have been married for 21 years! I was totally flabbergasted and not in a good way...
I have had that happen...where I felt a friend distanced herself from me, and then I had a situation where someone thought we were close, but I considered the friend more of an acquaintance. It goes both ways, but how do you handle the situation?
It's all you can do not to explode. They're lazy and they get all the attention! Yet you do all the work....
If you see someone on a regular basis and you think she looks interesting, should you take the plunge and walk up to her?
A listener is having dinner with her boyfriend when who should call in the middle of a candle light meal?
It sounds petty...but not really. Remember, you don't need a reason not to date someone....
You can't wait to see your old high school buddies...then you do, and that old chemistry isn't there anymore.
As long as you don't do it right after the break up. There is an expiration date on the girl code!
Is it OK not to have a great relationship with your sister-in-law? Sometimes you have no choice.
Got great style? What do you do if a friend copies everything you wear? Shows up where you happen to be? Is it creepy? Yes!
Those drive me crazy! And it's always a family member or a friend who feels they have "license" to throw a dig your way.
Everyone has them in their lives...only what do you do about the people that really are only there for the good times..and could care less about you!
Do you get rid of these people? Or do you hold on to the few friends you have? We'll talk about it!
Do you have to engage in small talk? Since we all find it completely wrenching? No, not at all!
It happens to all of us. And you can't really put your finger on it. But you know this person can't stand you, and you haven't said or done anything!
You might not realize it, but favoritism can be very hurtful. And it doesn't just happen with family members.
Or you're underemployed...and you are at a cocktail party and someone asks the dreaded question. I have an idea of what you should say, and it might surprise you!
A young woman wants to visit her dad, but her grandma lives with him, and always says something awful about her and her mom. What should she do?
It could be a friend or a sibling or whoever. How do you handle someone who has nothing nice to say? And when you get off the phone you have to pick yourself up off the floor.
This can be a tricky situation. And even worse if he has moved on and you haven't. Or, you are both in new relationships. What do you say to your current partner?
The holiday season is ripe for rudeness and general irritability. Let's talk strategies to put these people in their place!
Do you think he/she is about to leave you? It might not be so obvious. But there are little clues you need to pay attention to.
And should you answer them? I don't believe people who ask personal questions are dumb. I think they know exactly what they are doing.
Yes, maybe, depending. I will explain. You see these people are creating a pattern. And their behavior may not get any better. So, do you abandon the friendship or accept the apology?
Sometimes they disappoint. don't let it happen again! Because when you feel let down, the problem doesn't just go away.
When you go to those holiday gatherings, you know there will be one person who is itching to push your buttons! And we all think of a great reply...in the car on the way home! i have three words that will help you put this person in his/her place.
I know it is hard, now that the holidays are coming up. But I have some ideas that will help you cope a little better.
I happens! And the worst thing you can do is try to get them back. I'll tell you why...and what to do instead.
A listener wants to know if his girlfriend still cares about him, or is it time to throw in the towel?
Is it easy all the time? No, but having an elderly parent live with you is worth it. How to cohabitate sanely!
Everyone has said something, done something they regret. And some people won't let you live it down. What do you do?
There is a trick to dealing with self-centered people who prey on your good nature, and it's not what you think!
Yes, on both counts if you want to have a happy marriage. If he/she refuses to sign a prenup then refuse to marry him. It's as simple as that. And I'll explain why separate checking accounts could save your marriage.
Is he flirting or just talking about the kids? You have to figure out where his feelings are...for her and for you.
If your friend is involved with someone and all of a sudden she has not time for her bff, what should you do?
If you love someone, why not marry them? Does living together without a ring mean someone is a commitment phobe? YES!!! Is that someone you want to be with? It has nothing to do with morals or religion. Maintain your independence, people.
You know who they are...and they drive us all crazy! How to manage people who talk down to you...who think they know everything. Truth is, they have self-esteem issues. But that's no excuse....you've got to protect yourself.
Are you down in the dumps about something? Yes, you should talk about it to friends. Bottling up your problems isn't healthy. But when is it too much?
I know unwanted advice from mom isn't so easy to take..especially when it is given with a dose of criticism, and an "I told you so," for good measure. But what is your mom really looking for?
a single listener wants to know if it is OK to go out all the time with married couples. Yes, you should go...and I'll tell you why.
How your partner reacts when you tell him/her good or bad news could determine whether you will have a long-lasting relationship or not.
We are all lead to believe that all young men want is sex...but maybe that's not true, and they really do crave intimacy
What exactly is charisma, and why do we want it? How do we get it? Charisma is not the same as confidence, and I'll explain why.
Are there really any trustworthy people left out there? And how do you spot them? No, don't let your guard down, but yes, you can find friends who have your back.
Should you break up with someone if you think he/she cares less about you then you about them? We'll talk about it!
I hear that a lot! And there are a couple things you can do to rectify the situation....or should you?
We've all gotten them. People make the rudest remarks aimed to hurt...but they say it with a smile. How to deal with these types without losing your mind!
Should you distance yourself from friends who are just plain lousy? We'll talk about it!
We all set lofty goals in life, but what do you do if you aren't reaching them? We'll talk about how to redirect.
How do you handle this situation? You don't confront him, but you do have a conversation with him. There is a difference. You don't want to go in with this accusatory attitude...in case you're wrong. But if you don't say anything, the problem will fester, and you will end up blowing up at him. Remember, above all, listen to your gut feeling.
Sure, people will be smarter, prettier, wealthier, whatever. Here's how to avoid that jealousy trap.
How do you handle family members who can't wait to lay into you about the pounds you gained? The answer isn't what you think.
If you were rejected by someone who chose a different guy, should you ask her out again, now that they have broken up?
We'll talk about why you would have trouble getting over someone who was a lousy boyfriend!
If that isn't a controlling mother-in-law, I don't know who is. The troubling aspect to this is that she is likely going to try and control every part of your life. Don't let her!!
Moving can be one of the most stressful events in your life. But it is also your path to independence. We'll talk about how to ease into the changes ahead.
What do you do if your boyfriend is looking for a job, but tells you that when he gets one, he doesn't know what will happen between the two of you? Huh??
A young woman is left with three small kids because her husband decided he liked another woman better. What????
With all the holidays coming up, sometimes you find yourself surrounded by family members you rarely see and don't know well. What do you talk about?
If you didn't see a future with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend before, do you see one now? We'll talk about what's changed.
What do you say to your boyfriend if he excludes you from his birthday dinner with the family? I'll tell you what to say, and it isn't pretty!
A listener was rejected by a girl who says she is not ready to date yet because she was "hurt." What does that really mean?
A listener doesn't know if she should stay with her boyfriend in a town that she hates, far from her home town. Or if she should leave and go back to where her family lives.
So, you hate your ex, but love his family. Should you get all chummy with the people closest to him?
I know you are feeling rejected, and your self esteem has taken a real hit...but this is her problem, not yours. I'll explain why.
People who are very reserved are hard to talk to. But it doesn't mean you shouldn't try. And saying the right thing could encourage this person to share his feelings.
If your boyfriend clearly seems nervous and a little awkward around his ex, does that mean he is still interested in her? Not at all, and I'll tell you why.
If your girlfriend is spending a lot of time alone with your best friend, does that mean he is cheating? Yes! We'll talk about why.
A listener wants to know if she should stay with her boyfriend who keeps checking out other girls on social media. We'll talk about it!
a listener wants to know why she is having trouble getting over a guy she really only likes for his appearance. Then, what's the problem?! We'll talk about it!
A listener wants to know how to tell her friend that she can't babysit her obnoxious kids! She is afraid of losing the friendship. I have some choice words for this friend...
Ok, don't do that! I know, easier said than done. We'll talk about why your ex looks so much better after a break up.
A listener wants to know how to handle her mom who insists she become an army wife, not go into the army herself. I'll explain why it's all in the presentation...
It's not easy because there are so many out there! In this episode we will talk about how to spot them, and when to set boundaries.
There are people who have to be surrounded by friends. And they can't possibly rely on themselves. So, is it good to have buddies around? Sure, but a few acquaintances is OK too. And maybe even better for you. We'll talk about why.
Whatever you do, don't get defensive. That is what these types want. Remember, they are insecure. Don't let them bring you down! I'll share some tips.
In this episode I will explain what to do to move forward and get over him/her! What you should say to yourself before dealing with those feelings.
Well, maybe. It depends how she feels about you. And this episode is dedicated to paying attention to those clues. Guys, you can tell through body language if she likes you!
Yes, absolutely. You can't tell me there are no feelings if your girlfriend or boyfriend is still communicating with an ex. And if he throws it back at you, saying you are too possessive...you need to run for the hills. This situation isn't getting any better.
I have been there! We all have. A listener is jealous because her friend has a boyfriend and she doesn't! Well, boo hoo...Seriously, I have some tips on how to leave the pity party and really love life! You can do it. And I'll share my own jealousy story.
Yes, this is bad. But is it a deal breaker...maybe not. It depends on how he reacts to you when you confront him. If he owns up to his mistake, and this has never happened before, he might deserve a second chance. But if he denies, denies, denies, then no. Send him packing. Basically, if you think you will spend your life worrying about whether he will cheat again, and you can't trust him, it might be time to end this relationship.
We all know someone who has done this. Your good friend is head over heals for some guy. And she's MIA for months. All of a sudden, she appears again, without the guy and minus a few buddies? How to make sure this doesn't happen to you!
It's hard speaking to someone you like who really doesn't say much. How do you get her to open up? And is it really worth pursuing a relationship with a girl who is really quiet? Yes, yes, yes, and I'll explain why.
A listener wants to know if he can stay friends with someone who says she is not interested in him. Give her an emphatic no! She just wants someone waiting in the wings...to feed her ego. You can do so much better! Remember, never ever settle for a number two position in someone's life!
Have you ever had an anxiety attack at a warehouse store? If you are in any way a germaphobe, you will be horrified by my experience. Oh, and we will get to a listener question..I promise. This one from a young woman who is having trouble convincing her friend that she has changed.