The Last Thoughts of a Busy Mind: Recent Episodes
Ali Khamseh
One man's quest to talk, in any shape or form. There's not much consistency other than the man itself, and the subjects can vary from anything to nothing.
The specter of Iranian Cinema outside of Iran is an odd and interesting one. It oftentimes frames some of the most unique movies out of this system as the "norm", and creates a stereotype of an Iranian artist as someone in tune with something extraordinary. Truth is a lot more complicated than that. A positive stereotype, is still a stereotype, and with it comes a misunderstanding. Iranian Cinema is not what the best of it represents, and Iranian filmmakers are far more varied than imagined.
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When it comes to the history of Iran, there's so much misinformation and misinformed opinions that it's hard to divide the wheat from the chaff. Even for most Iranians, whether they've been learning history through school or through revisionist texts online, the idea of Iranian history is a complex and contradictory mess. In this mess, some reviled ideals can harbor and fester, creating an identity based on a past that was never there, and try to return to that imaginary past.
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The matter of religion is always more complex than it seems, but it becomes doubly-so when it enters the varied world of Middle East. The outward view of many countries make them seem like purely religious puritans, even though their ultimate goal is control, and religion is just one single lever in their arsenal. Though, religiosity becomes even more complex when the actions of supposed religious governments inflate to reflect on the public, and there's no better example of that than Iran.
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The view on Iran can be categorized in many ways, and one of them is a geographical climate view. As with many other countries in the Middle East, Iran has been depicted time and time as a purely desert climate. Sand dunes, palm trees, oases with shallow water reserves, camels and desert people. This is how the world likes to view Iran, because that way they can diminish the Iranian experience and bring it down to a single monolithic view. But, that's not the truth. Iran is not a desert, and it never has been.
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When it comes to discussing politics in and about Iran, there's usually one or two stereotypes that people fall into. These two often reflect the political intent of the person spreading them, but nonetheless the effect is similar: it reduces a range of ideas, people and political identities into a single force. Iranians in either interpretation of these monolithic parties are zombified husks who will follow a singular leader, whether it's a tyrannical overlord or a disgraced prince.
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During the war between Iran and Israel, oftentimes Iranians were reduced to a monolith of ideals, ethnicities and even culture. It's a view that is prominent outside of Iran, and sadly it's even prominent inside of Iran. The idea that Iran as a whole is a unified set of beliefs and cultures is one that's pushed even by our government (then and now). It can't be farther from the truth though. Iran, throughout its existence, has always been a tapestry. It's always been complex, and it's always been more than a monolith.
Special Chapter #12 - It's the Circle of Noora: https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/akhamseh88/episodes/Special-Chapter-12-Its-the-Circle-of-Noora-e36i050
Check out my appearance on "Re-Animate THIS!": https://reanimatethis.podbean.com/e/sky-captain-and-the-world-of-tomorrow-2004-the-devil-rides-out-1968-and-the-gorgon-1964-feat-ali-khamseh/
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In this episode, we're meeting once again in person to sit down and talk in depth with Noora. We met each other while I was "cosplaying" as Santa, and then later... some other time... we think? Though we have had other connections that have made us to meet each other more and get closer with time. Noora is an artist, and has been from a very early age, so our talks inevitably went into talking about art, artists, our relationship with art and artists, including an in-depth discussion of Leonard Cohen and Mohsen Namjoo, with things inexplicably going to Salvador Dali's peculiar interests in intimacy.
Check out my appearance on "Troubled Artists": https://open.spotify.com/episode/0TLIkphzhHlOMgpdUxlWmE?si=8cd011d820544fa9
Check out Noora's book on Mahasa Publishing: https://www.instagram.com/p/DCOI5Q4Cmrp/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MW9meTFmM3V6amdrMQ==
When one reaches the end of an era, one has to look at one's contributions and works in that era and come to a conclusion: was the past showing signs of discontent or contentment? What happened in a season that its arrival was under the influence of its number? Was the unlucky aura of "13" enough of a curse on the season to bring about the end of one's own desires and wants regarding the project itself? How close can one come to the end, before finally going over the threshold?
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Sometimes one needs a jolt of something to bring about all the things that one has lost. Sometimes, a great experience in a less-experienced field can have extraordinary effects on one who needs to jumpstart to their life. Sometimes, that great experience is "The Age of Decadence", a CRPG who boasts its social interactions and focus on more-dialogue based events rather than pure combat readiness, and a throwback to the CRPGs of the old; a claim that they manage to deliver on in droves.
Troubled Artists: https://open.spotify.com/show/4p5ItGGzt3NpMpzeteVXAx?si=57860b4d2b474078
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Some people revel in the heroism of their fictional avatars. They embody themselves as the moral good of the story in the interactive world they inhibit. But that is not true for everyone. Sometimes one wants to be the imoral one, the thief, the villain... and it's also about the Iran-Israel war which is why this episode is a month late.
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The name "Timeline Up" will mean nothing to most, but will mean something to few. To those few, the name "Timeline Up" is evoking the true nature of a guilty pleasure, or a sunken treasure of their finances, or just a repetitive and easy-to-play mobile game which barely qualifies outside of the purview of "auto-play". For one, it is the herald of everything that is wrong with one's attention span and lack of motivation. It is the herald of all that is guilt and no pleasure.
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There are so many pieces of art in the world, that to experience all of them require almost infinite lifetimes. With such a vast world, it is understandable that some will fall through the fingers of anyone trying to capture all. Sometimes, that is one of the beloved games of its genre. Sometimes, that is "Prey" (2006 - the original one). To understand "Prey", is to understand a vast network of satisfying gameplay, mind-bending physics, and a lack of disregard for its story. To understand "Prey", requires one's attention.
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There are, sometimes, projects so massive and so expansive, that it becomes a beacon of hope for those who enjoy such projects, but also becomes a barrier of entry for those who REALLY want to enjoy those projects, but are extremely threatened by their lack of explanation. When such projects lack the necessary starting steps to guide one in, one can lose in some amazing and unforgettable experiences. Such is the story of "Crusader Kings III".
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With one week of unplanned break, one returns to discuss yet another video game, and this time the subject matter is that of piracy. But not the cool piracy of the modern era in which softwares are shared with the masses, but the brutal piracy of the 19th century, in which Blackbeard and Henry Morgan thrived. This is the world in which Sid Meier (of "Sid Meier's Civilization" fame) has set his seminal piracy simulator: "Sid Meier's Pirates!".
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In Switchblade City, the Aces used to fight crime, but that was a long time ago. Now, the city is filled with gangsters and crime lords, each trying to carve up sections of it for their own desires. In this city, one has to learn to fight to survive and use everything in their line of sight to fight, and that is the exact situation that "Fallen Aces" puts one in. Made by New Blood Interactive, "Fallen Aces" is the noir-inspired immersive sim, and it's one hell of a style over substance game.
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When the courier walks through the ruins of Mojave, dealing with the intricate balances of power near Hoover Dam and the bustling city of New Vegas, it's hard not to want to continue their story further and further. Thankfully, the brilliant minds in Obsidian Entertainment decided to do continue the journey of the courier, even outside of Mojave and the confines of New Vegas. So, it's time for one to go through and talk about "Honest Hearts" and "Lonesome Road".
Check out my appearance on "Criterion Now": https://cinejourneys.com/criterion-now-episode-159-iranian-and-world-cinema/
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When the courier walks through the ruins of Mojave, dealing with the intricate balances of power near Hoover Dam and the bustling city of New Vegas, it's hard not to want to continue their story further and further. Thankfully, the brilliant minds in Obsidian Entertainment decided to do continue the journey of the courier, even outside of Mojave and the confines of New Vegas. So, it's time for one to go through and talk about "Old World Blues" and "Dead Money".
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In October of 2281, a courier near the town of Goodsprings got a bullet to the head by a casino owner named Benny. That was the catalyst that started the wonderous and amazing tales to befall Mojave and the city of "New Vegas", built on top of the ruins of Las Vegas. And all of that is contained in one extremely well-made package called "Fallout: New Vegas". One of the best games ever made (if not THE best game ever made), "Fallout: New Vegas" still rides high more than a decade since its release.
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When one spends too much time within an activity, sometimes one gets ideas and daydreams of creation within that activity. Sometimes one even goes forward and start brainstorming a prototype of that creation. Sometimes, that creation is a concept for a board game about Greek mythology, centered around a creator who saw his creation come to life: Pygmalion. Sometimes, one is oblivious to the irony of choosing this myth as the backbone and the title of one's own attempt at creation.
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Nowruz is the Persian new year, and can be translated literally as "new day". It's the harbinger of new things to come and a goodbye to all that was left behind. So, much like any other new year, it brings with itself some introspection and some resolutions. Possibilities seem endless. Severance, on the other hand, is an Apple TV+ tv show about a rigid system in which any acts to changing it are herculean. A day after Nowruz, Severance had its second season finale.
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When one finally sits down and crosses off an item off of an overly robust "to-do" list, it fills one with pride. Pride over a job well done, and drive to keep that sense of pride alive and relevant. So, in pursuit of that feeling and that drive, one will try to look at the other items on that overly robust "to-do" list and plan to achieve them one by one. Coinciding that with the end of a tumultuous year, will bring out the fires of retrospection, and one can put some things in perspective.
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When one is feeling the familiar feelings of sickness, it might be appropriate to conjure up memories and thoughts of the last feelings of sickness. It feels like a poorly planned and poorly received sequel to an already unpopular project, but such is the vice and the draw of sickness, and the loss of health. It will become even more dramatic when that return to sickness is coinciding with the start of a whole new season.
Special Chapter #11 - You Hear That Heavy Metal Sound? The Symphony of Kiarash: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3IFCEb8DOeIoW094VMvO3D?si=B23emsELTIW2wbXZCfwNPA
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In this episode, we're meeting in person as I sit down to talk with one of my oldest friends with almost 20 years of history, Kiarash. We met each other in elementary school, and despite our lives taking different shapes and different paths, we have remained friends. With such a rich history between us, and similar interests like fantasy (now!) and mythology, we got closer in school and remained close to this day. So we decided to sit down, talk about our history, our paths, our guiding principles, law and delivery apps, and of course the most important of all: Fifa 2018.
Sometimes, things are so out of control that one needs to take all that one can and hope not to lose grasp of life itself. So, when one is nearing the point of giving up, or circling it, or landing on it, then it might be of some use to look forward. When one cannot fathom the idea of looking at one's life in its current form, maybe looking up from the ground and looking forward might help, even a tiny bit.
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When one has to deal with a chronic mental state for a long period of time; it seems therapeutic, if not a little cold-hearted, to celebrate the first time those chronic mental states showed their symptoms to one. When that fateful days comes once more, looking back can give a perspective of one's failures and successes, one's misfortunes and fortunes, one's life and its many facets. When that fateful anniversary comes, one can reflect and see once and for all how that mental state shaped one's life.
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The year 2024 has come to an end, for better and for worse... It was for better, for sure! With the end of the year coming, and a new year beginning, it's a good time to go back to the year that was just passed and view it through the eyes of the plans one had written for this year, what actually transpired through the year, and what will happen in the next year if one could plan it all out from the very start.
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The year 2024 has come to an end, for better and for worse... It was for better, for sure! With the end of the year coming, and a new year beginning, it's a good time to go back to the year that was just passed and view it through the eyes of the plans one had written for this year, what actually transpired through the year, and what will happen in the next year if one could plan it all out from the very start.
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Thus comes the end of 2024, and with it comes the realization of the myriad of projects that one has to endure. From hobbies to long forgotten dreams to lofty goals with great chances of missing, there's an avalanche of self-inflicted projects that one has to deal with on a daily basis. So, sometimes it can help one's mind prowess to map out those projects and see how one can deal with them one by one.
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Video games can give extraordinary experiences to people who play them. They can uplift and they can give joy, but they can also trigger introspection and self-discovery. "We. The Revolution", the 2019 Strategy Political Sim from Polyslash, is such a game. Though not overly complicated in style, it's narrative design can make you look back on your own actions and ask, sincerely and thoughtfully: Am I, truly, a good person?
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There are times when nothing seems to work, and everything becomes a massive mess of mismanaged time, physical fatigue, and emotional and mental degradation. When that whirlpool hits, sometimes one is not equipped to deal with it, and the usual safeguards seem shakier and less safe than before. In times like that, one can feel overwhelmed and weak, and as it spirals down into more and more chaos, one can feel like death incarnate... one can feel like dying.
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Sometimes uncertainty is not the worst thing about the future, sometimes one has to deal with the things that might actually come, but they still do inspire fear. They inspire fear of the known, rather than the unknown. When one is dealing with that fear, it's good to accept it, but not let it become all that there is and there will be. It's good to check one's privileges, but also remember one's vulnerabilities, even if that does make one sound very spoiled.
Take the gaming survey, and don't forget to share it: https://survey.porsline.ir/s/WjS68Biv
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There are times of health and there are times of sickness, and then there are times of hidden sickness. When those times come, one has to do all sorts of undesirable things. Amongst them is the act of taking antibiotics, and dealing with the myriad of side effects that it does include. Fatigue and bodily aches aside, one has to deal with how this antibiotics exasperate the already fragile framework of one's motivation that is now, nothing but rubble.
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Gamification has become more and more abundant with each passing day in the current climate of the online and offline world. More apps and more software are made every year with the goal of taking an aspect of everyday living and turning it into a quantifiable objective with a number to go along with it. And when one becomes conscious of this, it's hard to ever close one's eye on it. When it hits how much of one's life has become pursuit of "higher number" rather than forming habits or growing as a person, it's hard to not notice it since.
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When one faces obstacles of immense pressure that one has beaten once before, sometimes the hubris of the previous encounters emboldens one's desire to repeat it. Sometimes, in the face of unnecessary hardships, one refuses to ask for help from proper providers, because one has gone through it once and has come victorious. When one is dealing with that, sometimes one wishes that the first go around wasn't as smooth.
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When one notices that one is having more mental lapses in day-to-day life, and the crippling anxiety is getting worse and worse in dealing with anything more strenuous than laying down, one comes to a rather sound conclusion that paradoxically one is losing whatever remains of their "mind". So, what does one do? Except gather all of those intrusive thoughts, and all of those harsh self-criticisms, and then publish them without filter for all to witness?
TGTBTI - The Halloween Video: https://youtu.be/6DQNXFCUjio
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There are some traumatic moments in everyone's life, and how one deals with it can show a lot about one's will and thought process. One of those moments is when one's personal devices are stolen. Not only being part of the legal system can have dehumanizing effects on one's psyche, the tragedy of lost memories and monetary value of the stolen property can lead to a lot of mental anguish. When one is confronted with that, how can one deal with it?
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The world of entertainment, especially one regarding motion pictures, is moving ever so slowly towards a darker and darker path. "KAOS," the comedy-drama reimagination of Greek mythology, was the latest in the long line of projects that has gotten the axe due to this shift. With more and more avenues of entering the world of movies closing by the day, it's hard to not look at it as an end of an era, and the start of something way more nefarious.
Check out my appearance on "Natey and Katy: At the Movies": https://www.buzzsprout.com/1862672/episodes/15866317
Email me at: ContactAKhamseh88@gmail.com
Sometimes one sits down at one's work station, with a laundry list of tasks to do, and then one doesn't do any of them. One will sit down and stare blankly at anything, wasting the time away, losing motivation bit by bit, and then wonders where the time has gone. When one has habited oneself in a bad cycle of procrastination and then minimal work, that lifestyle will clash instantly with any amount of scheduled work, and then one will sit in the ruin of one's desires and plans, thinking there was one time enough at last.
TGTBTI - We Didn't Start the Fire, Part 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yA_rS-lol0
Special Chapter #10 - Welcome Folks, to the Ava Administration!: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/akhamseh88/episodes/Special-Chapter-10-Welcome-Folks--to-the-Ava-Administration-e2oi0jt
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In this episode, we're going back to online recordings as I sit down and talk with a friend that I met online and have been talking to for almost 2 years at this point, Ava. We found each other through content creation and then started opening up more about our personal lives as we talked and talked more. We're both fans of fantasy novels, odd movies, and writing and making stuff about our passions. So we decided to sit down and talk about some of our literary hot takes, the musical stylings of Lin-Manuel Miranda, and of course knocking down some toxic fandoms.
Check out Ava's channel: https://t.me/+czdgFl7dSLxkYTk0
TGTBTI - We Didn't Start the Fire, Part 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yA_rS-lol0
When an era comes to an end, sometimes one can't help but feel nostalgic and retrospective towards that era. The era might not be good, or might be actually harmful, but when it comes to a close it feels better than it was. So, one looks at the bumpy ride as an experience worth having and then moves on to greener pastures, to look upon all that is to come, and to see all that will be apparent.
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When one's core belief about themselves is that they are unlikable, every little action can seem to confront one with that core belief. When a person fails to connect to one's desire, or when one is faced with a cruel world, the response is always to do with one's core belief of unlikability. That belief can influence thoughts, and those thoughts can influence actions, and those actions can influence further thoughts and actions, until nothing remains but that core belief, and one has to face it.
The Exhausting World of Making a Caddicarus Video - Caddicarus: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lz13cxZNTCo
Influencer Courses are Garbage: The Dark Side of Content Creation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3xSJuoUnN8
Email me at: ContactAKhamseh88@gmail.com
When one feels broken beyond repair, sometimes it's hard to understand the value of existence. Existence itself becomes painful enough that one forgets how to do it properly; but that's merely an illusion from a broken psyche. Existence is wonderful. It's hopeful, and it has so many good that one needs to remember sometimes. Sometimes one needs to look up and thank to all for just... existence itself.
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Sometimes one relies heavily on misremembered memories to gauge a timeline and a situation, and based on those misremembered memories will develop a confidence that is ultimately hollow, without one noticing it. But then reality will settle in when one check's one's old work, and the hollowness of the confidence shows itself; and at that point one will look up to the sky and yell: "F--k Past Me!!!"
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Hope is such a fickle concept. Though it can bring one the vehicle to move out of a slump, it can also be the catalyst for more disappointments and even deeper despair. Hope is fickle, but it's necessary, because hopelessness brings apathy, and apathy brings stillness, and stillness is akin to death itself. When one experiences the depths of hopelessness, one never wants to return to those circumstances again. When one experiences the depths of hopelessness, one will swear to never lose hope again.
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The prospect of demise is harrowing, and so is the prospect of oblivion. Being forgotten is akin to a second death, and so when one is grappling with the idea of oblivion and being forgotten, the first instinct is to yell out to the heavens for all that can hear to remember. To remember is to have a degree of care, and so what happens when one is also grappling with the thoughts of carelessness? To be cared for is to be thought of, and what if one is grappling with the idea of repulsiveness?
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When one looks through one's actions, some seem illogical, some even seem downright counterproductive. So, when one tries to work through why one does such actions, sometimes the answer is much simpler than one expects. The continued acts of keeping on to one's actions might be the answer. When one looks back at why one does certain things, the answer might be self-serving, but that might be the point of it. Sometimes, there's merit in just keeping on, even if it seems meritless at the start.
Chapter 151 - The Origin Story: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/akhamseh88/episodes/Chapter-151-The-Origin-Story-e2k2dro
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For anything in life, one pays a cost. Some costs are monetary, some are emotional and mental, and some are social. So when one is choosing one's path in each aspect, one is always countering and measuring what that path will cost and what that path will require. Sometimes in paying those costs, one becomes so broken that one will continue to pay without thinking. Sometimes though, great things can also come from those costs, but at what cost exactly will they be made?
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Sometimes, life will take such drastically unexpected turns that it will awaken many emotions at once. Other than annoyance at the changing landscape of one's plans, it will bring a litany of different thoughts, from nostalgia for similar moments in one's past to disappointment for similar moments in one's future. The old adage is that will no expectations will come no disappointments, well, what will come when one has a little bit of expectation?
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Self is a construct made of thoughts, actions, abilities and insecurities. Each of them combine together will create the sense of self for one, and each of them are responsible for something in one's life. Insecurities have the dire task of depleting one's will to live and one's desire to act on anything. It is fantastically strong, and knows when to strike. So, when one views a video by Dan Olson, it's time to maybe look at those insecurities in the eye and confront them.
I Don't Know James Rolfe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3gZOt1Lo4A
How Anyone Can DRAW Quickly And EFFECTIVELY: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVGaVqrVhF8
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--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/akhamseh88/message
The desire to change one's life to better one's situation is a noticeable and worthy desire, but it can lead to heartbreak after heartbreak if one is not ready to accept some leniency. Change oftentimes can make one believe that the future is theirs to see, and when things appear less than ideal, that mindset alone will make one break. So, sometimes it's important to find solace, in uncertainties.
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When one's life is in turmoil due to many inside and outside forces beyond one's imagination, one will experience lack of motivation. When the turmoil becomes too much to handle, one ceases to daydream and to hope, and so one will become still and unmoving. In those times, the best approach might be the fooling of one's self, and to move. Move by any means, even if the furthest one goes, is to put one foot in front of the other.
Check out my appearance on "A Happy Moment" in video form: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRmMnIDiNSA
Check out my appearance on "A Happy Moment" in audio form: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ahappymoment/episodes/Hammer-Horror-Time-e2kquno
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--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/akhamseh88/message
One's life is a series of images and actions being projected inwards and outwards, and those series of images and actions will create a cohesive sense of one's identity for one's own perception and others' perceptions. So, when one strays from that perception and the images and the actions, what is the outcome of such deviations? What happens when one is no longer fitting inside that perception?
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When one lives through life, one experiences some memories as if they will be important later; and if one is too much into the art of movie-making or just generally a movie-geek, one will see them as cinematic moments. Cinematic moments that one needs to hold in high regard, because they will be important later... right? They will be important, right?? RIGHT???
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When one reaches the point of a soft reboot of one's journey, it's apt to look upon where the journey has started. Maybe dispel some myths and create new ones, or maybe tell the story of how the first steps were took to the last steps still taken. When one reaches that point, it's time to sit around the fire and start the telling of one's origins.
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--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/akhamseh88/message
In this episode, I sit down in person for the fourth time and talk to one of my friends that I've known for a full year, Ghazaleh. We met each other online and started following each other on Instagram, before meeting in person and getting to know each other better and better over the past year. We bonded over our shared love of crafting, so-bad-they-are-great movies, and correcting each other's English pronunciations. So we decided to sit down and talk about our jobs, our creative journeys, our as-of-yet uncertain futures and the many mistakes we have made in the past and what we are going to do about them.
Check out Ghazaleh's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gh.psystu/
Chapter 149: Will There Be a Season 11? https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/balDiEWXgJb
TGTBTI - Az Faryad Ta Terror: https://youtu.be/RdzHmrmcV60?si=vEB2tKh_wFkuFJvg
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/akhamseh88/message
One's life is made up of experiences, and to experience the world is to experience every aspect of it through first-hand and second-hand accounts. But how does one go on experiencing? What is the value of first-hand experiences? and what is the value of second-hand experiences? How does one define an experience, as one that happens once in a lifetime?
Check out my appearance on "1000 Crazy Questions": https://www.1000crazyquestions.com/e/you-aint-seen-nothing-yet/
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/akhamseh88/message
In 2020, "The Last Thoughts of a Busy Mind" was born out of one's desire to make conversation, even with oneself. That show has been going on, through highs and lows, for (almost) ten seasons. With ten being a nice round number, and things changing behind the scenes, one has to ask whether or not it's feasible or required to go past that nice round number. One has to ask, is there a need for an eleventh season?
Check out my appearance on "Geeky Gamer Podcast": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yq31FJbUyxI
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When one wakes up, and eats, and rests, and sleeps, and then repeats these steps in the exact order, one can equate the sum of these activities to the feeling of numbness. Numbness that may have a clear reason or just comes from an array of different emotions coming together. The end result of that numbness is inactivity, and that leaves to uncomfortableness, and that leads to more numbness. Yet another vicious cycle.
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Retrospection is tricky, because it will instill a lot of bad thoughts of missed opportunities. It's important to realize that when a new year comes from around the corner, to look at things more objectively. Was it a loss? or was it a change? Loss is understandable, but one needs to remember the gains and the wins. Depression tries to obscure them, and it's important to fight that.
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As the Persian year comes to an end and a new opportunity rises for retrospection and introspection, one has to come to grips with the events that shaped that one year. While it is good to keep living life without allowing for past mistakes and past guilt to cripple one's ability to live, it's also good to acknowledge regrets and put efforts to reform the actions that caused them. So, with the new year serving as the de facto "start", it's time to view the regrets and the proposed reforms.
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In the tenure of this show, only one episode has been skipped so far and that was due to covid. Now, a second episode joins it and this is due to something far more destructive, a movie production going overtime and inevitably, overbudget. So, what does one have to do other than put everything on hold until this behemoth is put to rest?
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There are many stages when making a creative project, there's the initial excitement over new and interesting ideas, then there's the first doses of anxiety over the practicality of the project, and then comes the grueling process of pre-production. Where every cog needs to fit together, and those little doses of anxiety become a constant, and doubt begins to creep in. Such a magical time is the times of pre-production!
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When one has feelings that amount to self-deprecation and self-hatred, one has to content with the feelings if one is trying to function. But sometimes, even knowingly, that lets more negative thoughts enter one's mind. Then one will foresee collapse of giant magnitude, and one knows that into each life some rain must fall.
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Introspects can be enlightening and necessary every now and again. When one does something over and over again, one might become complacent and used to the motions, without ever noticing the tiny unsatisfactories that grate at one's desire for the activity. So, when looked through a critical eye, what can one notice about one's endeavor, and what should one notice about those endeavors?
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Time is a limited resource. It is so limited and has such abundant a use that it will be used up even if one actively does not do anything with it. Because of that, it is the source of many quotes and many more anxieties by people who know of its finiteness. Yet, one sometimes deludes oneself into treating this valuable and hard to manage resource as if it is a mine in a RTS video game: easily refilled, even if you need to cheat to refill it.
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Games are some of the most entertaining aspects of life. No matter how many times you got kicked in the nether regions and how many times you look at life with the sense of dread that it truly deserves, games can still bring you back stronger than ever before. Whether they are video games, choose-your-own adventure games, tabletop games or board games, games can really bring out a sense of joy unparalleled by most other things.
Special Chapter #7 - Something for Everyone, Mohammad Tonight!: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/akhamseh88/episodes/Special-Chapter-7-Something-for-Everyone--Mohammad-Tonight-e2755e2/a-a56gapt
Special Chapter #8 - Good Luck Will Rub off When Mobina Shakes 'ands with You: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/akhamseh88/episodes/Special-Chapter-8-Good-Luck-Will-Rub-off-When-Mobina-Shakes-ands-with-You-e2cvj8k/a-a56gapt
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What will happen the day after today has always been a subject of great inspiration and desire, and also great anxiety and fear. That effect will be amplified the more uncertain elements are added. When one looks at tomorrow and sees nothing but darkness, it can have rippling effects on today. From bad shopping habits, to a sense of doom and gloom that will engulf everything one holds dear.
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A new year has dawned upon us and with it has come the time to take a rather poignant look at everything that the year has brought. Checking all the moments of joy and disappointment, and then looking forward to see what the new year might bring. It's fools' errand to plan out a year in advance, but what are we if not fools?
Chapter 137 - 2024, Part I: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/akhamseh88/episodes/Chapter-137-2024--Part-I-e2e1gpc
Special Chapter #8 - Good Luck Will Rub off When Mobina Shakes 'ands with You: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/akhamseh88/episodes/Special-Chapter-8-Good-Luck-Will-Rub-off-When-Mobina-Shakes-ands-with-You-e2cvj8k/a-a56gapt
I'm (Still) Alive | #Shorts: https://youtube.com/shorts/h6_6NLsxnd4?feature=share
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A new year has dawned upon us and with it has come the time to take a rather poignant look at everything that the year has brought. Checking all the moments of joy and disappointment, and then looking forward to see what the new year might bring. It's fools' errand to plan out a year in advance, but what are we if not fools?
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Mafia movies are a fun genre in cinema, and they encompass some of the best and the worst that Cinema History has to offer. So, when one decides to put a not-insignificant amount of time to exploring them through a self-inflicted challenge, the results could be an incredibly varied look through movies of all qualities. How good would it be then, if one decides to share that journey through what is called "Mafia May in November"?
Download the PDF here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VqN85sGViZ4KU4pjw1HqbiEdWIhdEM30/view?usp=sharing
Special Chapter #8 - Good Luck Will Rub off When Mobina Shakes 'ands with You: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/akhamseh88/episodes/Special-Chapter-8-Good-Luck-Will-Rub-off-When-Mobina-Shakes-ands-with-You-e2cvj8k/a-a56gapt
Chapter 59 - Western August in November: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/akhamseh88/episodes/Chapter-59-Western-August-in-November-e1b5rg4/a-a2m9fmf
Chapter 17: Musical March in November: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/akhamseh88/episodes/Chapter-17-Musical-March-in-November-enba94/a-a2m9fmf
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In this episode I sit down and talk to one of my friends from my new uni and the director of the current project I'm working on, Mobina. We met each other in online classes in the early days of uni, and then finally got to see each other face-to-face earlier this year; and despite having not-the-best-first-impressions of each other, managed to hit it off pretty quick and become friends through Wes Anderson movies, juvenile jokes, and board games. So we decided to sit down and discuss our experience in uni and in Iranian educational system regarding art in general, our love of movies, the troubles with making a movie, and of course our board game adventures.Check out Frame Art Studio's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/frame_artstudio/
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Being "professional" is a sought-after label. It gives off the vibes of prestige and quality, no matter the reality. That label, can also give tools to opportunists and con-men to exploit their co-workers, underlings or people with less experience. It is a powerful tool as well, because in all honesty, being "professional" is meaningless. It can mean anything and everything, mostly to the detriment of those who try to be honest with themselves and those around them.
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When one has felt an emotion towards an activity that one has neglected for so so long, it awakens certain thoughts and feelings in one's brain. When one looks at all that one wants to do, and realizes that there's more to see that can ever be seen, or more to do that can ever be done, those thoughts and emotions evolve into something a little more grotesque. They become fear, and fear is an unending chasm of thoughts.
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Sometimes, during times of duress and stress, one has to wrestle with thoughts that would try their best to diminish one's agency. The belittling self-disappointment and the monstrous weight of self-deprecation. When one is faced with such uneasy feelings that keep nagging away at one's soul, it's hard to look around and see the true accomplishments; or worse, it's hard to look around and see the actual problems of one's surrounding.
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When one peruses the seemingly infinite shows that appear on a weekly basis on an ever-growing list of different networks, sometimes there are shows that one finds in solitude that seems to speak with one. They're quirky, and cooky, and maybe a little spooky; but they are special to one. So, what happens when that show is deemed "not worthy" by its parent network? Well, that is the fate that befell Our Flag Means Death, a show of romance and comedy about pirates and piracy.
The Best Strategy Game You Never Played: Age of Mythology: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27-tJxIepmoThe Gentleman Pirate | Sundance Rejects: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrGf4nJWVOU
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The human body can suffer physical ailment for extended periods of time, to the point of humorous absurdity. These ailments can bring about physical weakness, irritable behavior, mental anguish and above all else a lack of peace, both of mind and of soul. Sometimes one finds itself in the throats of sickness, that has been going on for an absurdly long time and has caused so, so, so, SO many damages to one's plans, life, and physical rest. Also, RIP Dariush Mehrjui.
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When one has a deluge of ideas and unrealized projects, it can hurt one's mental state massively. It can make sure one has to think of the many failures that one has experienced on a daily, if not hourly, basis. But when one is involved in an idea, it can sometimes bring about a spark, even a little one, to the glowing embers of passion and desire for more projects to be involved in. It can even bring about Leo Bloom style musical interludes.
They Were Just in the Way | Indian Removal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5P6vJs1jmYContrepreneurs: The Mikkelsen Twins: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=biYciU1uiUw
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One's social ties are made through strings or chains, based on one's ability to form them. When those strings or chains become weakened and start to show signs of tearing, one will see oneself suspended over what could be an endless abyss. Mistakes will seem bigger, as loneliness looms. Little events will seem a monumental earth shattering moments that can have long-lasting effects on one's life. One's desire to keep those strings and chains, will sometimes break one's force to keep oneself aloft.--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/akhamseh88/message
Sometimes one's life falls behind of a perceived track constructed days, weeks, months and even years in advance. Sometimes the journey of life seems to not match up with expectations that one has for oneself. When those times rear their heads, the balance of one's life can be thrown out. When one falls behind on one's plans, desires, goals, and highly regarded future, one can experience life as cruel and uncaring, even if all one needs, is some self-compassion.
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When one starts their journey of creativity, oftentimes the joy of creation even without a tangible result can be rewarding in its own rights. Creation of minute details of little to no importance, or creation of the most elaborate systems to do the most mundane of things, is just part of the experience of making tiny worlds for imaginary people to inhabit, and is part of any artist's course. That part is more prominent when one is in its teen era, and it can prove fun to return to those tiny worlds and explore them after some years.
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One is surrounded by boundaries; societal boundaries, geographical boundaries, physical boundaries, emotional boundaries and mental boundaries. What happens in those boundaries shape one's life and experiences as a human being, and there are times when one's life inside those boundaries will find trouble adjusting to itself. There are times when the mess inside those boundaries becomes impossible to manage.
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One of the ways one can find solace in the mundane and normal is by creating a fantastical goal, a fantasy of achieving something so out of ordinary that the act itself would become absurd to think about. But they won't become too big that achieving them would be completely impossible. They live in that sweet spot between too much effort and not enough results, which makes them nothing more than mere fantasies.
IDOLS of TORMENT - A Dark Skirmish Game from Black Magic Craft - Official Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cRAd7DvIDw
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There are times in anyone's life when it seems that everything that could go wrong, will go wrong. No matter the amount of effort, mental resilience and physical prowess; when things start to go awry, they will take everything down with them. When one gets inside such a storm of fecal matter, the toll can be massive. It's important to acknowledge one's shortcomings and failures, but to be wary that ss the old adage says: when it rains, it pours.
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Sometimes in one's life, there are many facets coming together to create an atmosphere ripe for a breakdown. A sickness prolonged, and in need of medication; an array of projects being produced and put aside that take time and effort to the point of exhaustion; and videotapes of digital variety in producing movies and online videos. When all those facets come together, one has to see how they have shaped and ruined one's life.
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Guilt is such a strong feeling that it can hamper everyday life incredibly easily. It can make good experiences come off as shameful and bad, and it can make one feel inadequate in a variety of different tasks. When one descends to the pits of guilt, one can find himself stranded. In reach of what one needs to do, and what one does. Guilt is such a strong feeling, and it can also appear from nothing at all.
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Sometimes one ends a season with a sickness, and starts one with yet another one. One of peculiar origin that is not likely to be found in this time of year. When that happens, one has to sometimes persevere and still go forward with a plan. A plan that has been some time into making, and one has been looking forward to it. This is one of those times.
Alpha Protocol Review | AKhamseh88: https://www.backloggd.com/u/AKhamseh88/review/959036/
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In this episode I sit down and talk to the guy who I've had the privilege of working with numerous times, Mohammad. We met each other while we were both contributing to a now defunct gaming website, and despite our differences in taste, were drawn together through a shared love of entertainment. So we decided to talk about our unpopular opinions on entertainment properties, our gaming/movie making experiences, Mohammad's dislike of GTA V, and way way more wrestling lore and opinions than you might think.
Check out Wait, I've Seen it Before!: https://open.spotify.com/show/52LtWqhgQCEQQrqPwL9fyP
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When one is sick, the events of that sickness is burnt into one's memory vividly. What happens at what time, and what lead to what event, and so on and so forth. It also brings forward the mood to plan for a future where health is plenty. Planning for the future is always a gamble, a big one, but when one is sick, everything is put into perspective. When one is sick, health seems like a good opportunity to do the things one never did before out of apathy.
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One's relation to nature can be incredibly personal, and incredibly consequential; especially when one is travelling. The contrast between cushy life in the developed city and the arduous but rewarding life in nature is one that has compelled any human being to find a personal opinion on the matter. The beautiful vistas of nature, but with no accommodations? or the unbreathable air of traffic, but with every service just a phone call away?
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Movies are great entertainment products, but movie making is oftentimes not very entertaining. The end results are heartwarming and great, but the process can sometimes be miserable and destructive. Movies are also expensive entertainment products. They cost a lot of money, and need a lot of humans to make them work, and that's what makes them so big and so daunting, but also when done incorrectly, a massive pain.
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Needlessly busy is something that one can describe one's life with occasionally. When life seems a mess with a torrent of unfinished tasks and upcoming tasks weighing heavy on one's soul, one can feel the fire that will lead to an eventual burn out. When one's life is needlessly busy, even good moments will be pushed aside to showcase the tiredness.
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When one bottles emotions and keep going with a daily routine, sometimes those emotions will need a vent, and when that vent is provided it will erupt like a volcano. It's not always a bad thing, as an erupting volcano can also empty out a lot of negativity. So, when one is helping form a volcano, one can look back at a lot of conflicting and deep emotions, and let them run loose. Maybe even try to plan ahead now that the avalanche of feelings is over with.
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Though one can try, one cannot separate mind from body. When body is in pain, mind wanders and mind tries to look at body to see what has caused it pain. When that pain is from physical activity, one goes into retrospective of one's life choices and lifestyle. Physique is a two-fold question, one from beauty and one from health. When there's pain involved, health becomes more apparent, and it does push one to look at one's own physique with a more critical eye.
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Emotions are hard to telegraph, and they are even harder to express when put in front of people one might have an inkling of those emotions for. Like many choices in one's life, the choice is down to a mix of risk assessment and courage. When one might lose a friend, one might gain something more; but is that risk worth taking? Questions like that make expressions what they are: small acts with big consequences.
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There's an old adage of "everyone is truly alone", where it deposits that even when one is surrounded by other presences, one can still be alone. The adage might appear as cynical or pessimistic, but cynicism and pessimism can infect the most hopeful and optimistic of minds too. When one sits in the corner of a room looking at people one loves, and feels disconnected from them, one feels truly alone.
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The act of videomaking is something between writing an essay, conducting a research, and creating art. It might not rank high on the "high art" chart when compared to other forms of visual media, but it still does factor in creation. It still has framing, pacing, rhythm, substance, form and style. So what happens when one who has been away from that act of creation for a number of months, decides to return to it? How will one cope?
TGTBTI - We Didn't Start the Fire, Part 1: https://youtu.be/qmNh8Ygn29s
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Physical pain oftentimes punctuates many things, from mental anguish to existential crises. Excruciating physical pain can even make day-to-day operations invalid and impossible, and when it comes to excruciating physical pain there's seldom a more troubling suspect than tooth. A good toothache can knock even the strongest and most virile down, let alone when one has the lowest threshold for pain imaginable.
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There are times, sometimes far between and sometimes in rapid succession, where one feels isolated and abandoned. There are times, sometimes far between and sometimes in rapid succession, where the thoughts and actions of everything done and everything that will be done would break upon one's psyche like a crumbling foundation of a tower. There are times, sometimes far between and sometimes in rapid succession, where one forgets who they are.
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Planning is an important part of preparing for the future of one's life. One plans for how to live, how to love, how to grow, and how to survive. But plans are not guaranteed to work nor guaranteed to work out the way they were planned. One might slip in adhering to the steps previously thought, and one might not get the result that was expected. But that is under normal circumstances. When one lives in a corner of the world plagued with abnormality, how shall one plan?
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How does one develop an obsession with a media property? It might seem like a long process but all one needs is a combination of right time and right state of mind. One such obsession can be found in a game show that graced the UK television in 2014 and has been going strong since then. One such obsession can be the wonderous and exciting world which houses Greg Davies and little Alex Horne: TASKMASTER.
Alasdair Beckett-King: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq5btGtqdn4CpvU0xTXaelA
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Nostalgia can be a powerful tool and drug; it's a drug that can draw your very own lifeforce and stick it in the past, and it's a tool that can mend a broken soul and make it better for a little while. But sometimes nostalgia is so strong in others that it influences one's perspective of an event or a location. When one is confronted with an attack of nostalgia, one needs to fight, while embracing.
P.S. This episode is about an hour or so late :D. I do explain the reason in the episode itself, but it is bugging me massively.
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The new Persian year has dawned, and with it has come a brand new day. Though the revolving of earth around the sun for another 365 days may not seem like a significant event as situations surrounding one's life are not susceptible to change in any form or factor; it still is a good end point to at least take some time and search one's past for a retrospective.
Special Chapter #6 - God Leans a Little on the Side of Vandah: https://anchor.fm/akhamseh88/episodes/Special-Chapter-6-God-Leans-a-Little-on-the-Side-of-Vandah-e1vuqal
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In this episode, I sit down (with one week of delay) and talk with a friend who I got to meet thanks to the magic of internet, Vandah. We met each other on Twitter, before Elon Musk got his grubby little hands on it, and started talking about music and movies, normal nerd stuff. We hit it off with discussions on certain musical artists, old movies, complaining about the state of affairs and talking about fiction. So we decided to discuss Vandah's major in the university, the current state of cinema and streaming services, a different cornucopia of musical performances and artists from different ages, and the difficulties of actually doing the recording that we're doing.
Check out Vandah's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vandahts/
Check out Vandah's Twitter: https://twitter.com/ShrinkingFigure
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In the past few months since the murder of Mahsa Amini by the morality police in Iran, it's imperative to take inventory of what has happened and what barriers have been destroyed. The visage of Islamic Republic as this unbeatable monster has been shattered to pieces, and what remains is a more accurate visage of it as a wheezing walking dead. Hope reigns once again in the land, and hope needs to stay aflame.
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A patriarchal society built on ideological roots that does nothing but to affirm those patriarchal desires, will always look for a way to gather power and wants obedience at all costs. Since the murder of Mahsa Amini by the morality police, the patriarchal rulers of Iran have tried everything to "punish" the insubordinate "children". They have mistreated them in jails, they have killed them and executed them, and they have laughed in the face of their wants; all for remaining in power one more second.
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Stories are how we experience lives other than our own. They are how we look at the world through different lenses. That is why totalitarian regimes like the Islamic Republic try their hardest to censor and control them. Since the murder of Mahsa Amini by the morality police, the world has witnessed IR's attempts at creating narratives, and how they would punish anyone who stray from it. But censorship is so much simpler than that, and so much more sinister.
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Since the murder of Mahsa Amini by the morality police in mid-September of 2022, many lives has been disrupted and many people have given up anything resembling sanity just to keep going; but why? Why do they care so much? Why it seems like the endless wave of cynicism and hopelessness has not affect them? Why do they keep going? Because one cannot escape the voices that one cannot forget, the voices taken by force by an inhumane monster.
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One of the important things in the movement following the murder of Mahsa Amini by the morality police, is the disruption of many traditionalist values that felt "inherent" to the region. As one learns in an oppressive society under an oppressive regime, you need to wear masks to keep yourself safe, at the cost of keeping yourself sane and happy. Now it's time for people to recognize the masks they have forced on each other, and the masks that has been forced on them.
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Sometimes life in a certain way becomes like second nature to one. Sometimes it seems it's always been this way, and thus it's fair and normal for it to stay that way. Sometimes it feels like change will never come. One of the most important aspects of the revolution following the murder of Mahsa Amini by the morality police is that it broke that feeling. It was never normal, and it always needed to change.
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Minorities have been an integral part of the revolution in Iran following the murder of Mahsa Amini by morality police. For so long the Islamic Republic has silenced the many minorities in Iran. They have shown them that they have no voice, and they have shown them that they will never care for them. When one looks at the Iranian public comes face to face with this fact, there's a ray of hope for the voiceless to finally be heard.
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Life in the Middle East has historically been a struggle between powers for a chance at survival. A chance that led to many totalitarian regimes spring up in the region, and give the visage of Middle East as the land of "endless conflicts". When one is born here, one is told that conflict and restriction are normal; but they're anything but. With the murder of Mahsa Amini by the Morality Police in Tehran in September of 2022, that notion has come under scrutiny in Iran. Life is not normal here. One isn't living a normal life under oppression.
P.S. Uploading this episode was a long and exhausting ordeal because of the many internet restrictions. It's impossible to know what will happen, but if these restrictions continue and get worse it might be impossible to access the internet while inside Iran. If that happens please be our voice. Don't forget about us here.
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Identity (especially cultural identity) for a system like Islamic Republic that is built on isolating its members and embedding them with hopelessness to keep them meek and servile, is like the plague. They try to cover up the roots and replace them with their ideology, because for divide and conquer you need to divide first. But all their works proved weaker, when after the murder of Mahsa Amini by the morality police in September, people realized they are more than ones.
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When trying to uphold a revolution as massive as the current one in Iran following the murder of Mahsa Amini by the Iranian morality police, it's easy to forget that sometimes it is literally a war of attrition. The Islamic Republic will use any means necessary to break the populace and breed hopelessness, and the best way to combat that is by learning to keep going. By caring about oneself as much as the whole movement.
Remember the name Mohsen Shekari. He was executed by the Iranian regime, and they need to pay for what they did. Also remember and shout the name of Hossein Mohammadi, he is given an execution conviction and if the regime doesn't see the fallout of what they did to Mohsen, his life will end. Please be their memory and their voice.
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Mental Health is a complex and nuanced subject, and it needs a complex and nuanced discussion; but that is harder and harder to happen in a patriarchal traditionalist society that has a patriarchal and traditionalist government at the top of it. Not only is the importance of mental health is undermined, the government and regime itself adds to the scope of mental problems. When a system is so pre-occupied with body that it sees it right to murder a 22 year old girl (Mahsa Amini), then you can imagine the barrage of mental anguish it can cause on its own people.
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Throughout the revolution following the murder of Mahsa Amini by the morality police in Iran, it's important to look at multiple facets of society that would be enraged and try to change the system. Though cultural and societal reasons are the primary reasons, one cannot underestimate the economic sector either. With rampant mismanagement and corruption, the economic state of the people of Iran is so abysmal that any other form of management is preferred over the current one.
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Keeping alive the hope that one day a new and brighter day will come is of outmost importance in times of revolution and civil movements. That hope can be sustained much easier when you know you are not alone, and moments of unification between people against a greater evil can be inspiring and hopeful, even if dampened by losses too big to comprehend. That is what has happened in Iran, following the murder of Mahsa Amini by the morality police. It's an old adage that: "People united are never defeated".
El Pueblo Unido Jamas Sera Vencido - English Subtitles: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTZ1JaILitM
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One of the things that the people asking for a change in regime in Iran, since the murder of Mahsa Amini by the morality police, have been asking for is a regime that doesn't hold their religious and ideological view so high that it gives them autonomy to execute and murder anyone who isn't part of their "group". Under the rule of an oppressive regime, one needs to stick to the "official" narrative; because thinking might land you on death row.
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Since September 17th, 2022, there has been calls for a massive regime change and uprooting of the Islamic Republic in Iran. The events started since the murder of Mahsa Amini by the morality police for bad hijab. When the world is full of turmoil and the winds of change are blowing, it's hard for one to just return to life the way it used to be, and not look at it as a way to what life may need to be.
Special Chapter #5 - Let the Sunshine, Let the Sunshine In: https://anchor.fm/akhamseh88/episodes/Special-Chapter-5-Let-the-Sunshine--Let-the-Sunshine-In-e1p87um
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For the past month, the Iranian public have been protesting in many shapes and forms against the tyrannical Islamic Republic regime, after the death of #MahsaAmini by the hand of the morality police. These protests have included people of all ages, all genders and all ethnicities as they once more show their contempt for the Islamic Republic and the draconian laws of the regime; but some have chosen to not participate in the current movement for a "variety" of "excuses". In this unusual episode, I sit down again with Kamiab (from the last Special Chapter), as we discuss 8 of the most prominent arguments against the current anti-regime movement in Iran and try to see if there's any merit to any of them.
Check out Kamiab's article on "Woman, Life, Freedom" for LGBTQNation: https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2022/09/3-words-sparked-revolution-iran/
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Despite believing in a world of human nature first and human nationality second, sometimes one cannot escape the realities of belonging to a specific region of the earth and living under a specific government. That government can shape many things in the individual; from fears and beliefs to anxieties and in many cases, the cause of death. This is the tale of one's life under one regime, and the oppression it brings forth.
MahsaAmini
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Frustration can stem from many different avenues, from dealing with people of other professions to the inane feeling of helplessness and loss of time. Wherever the frustrating root grows from, the tree and the fruit is the same. With frustration comes anxiety and anger, it brings forth antagonistic tendencies and rears the ugly head of restlessness. That is what frustration is, and one sometimes need to feel the brunt of it.
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When one has been involved with a situation or an institution for a not inconsiderable amount of one's life, severing ties and moving on might feel more significant than thought before. When one severs ties with an institution that shaped a lot of what today is like for someone, going away and trying to open a new page feels more like opening a new chapter, rather than just another page.
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For the past year, from August of 2021 to August of 2022, a little series called "The Good, the Bad and the Interesting" has been appearing on a little channel called "AK88 Studios". Now that it's been one year since the start of that series, it might be good to take a look at what happened in the past year and discuss the deeper feelings associated with creating videos.
TGTBTI - We Didn't Start the Fire, Part 1: https://youtu.be/qmNh8Ygn29s
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Once in a while comes a show, with the exact humorous tone suited for one's sense of humor and a good mystery to integrate into that humorous tone; and on top of that manages to balance these perfectly and add an intriguing cast as a cherry on this deliciously created sundae. When a show like that comes along, it's imperative to discuss that show; and that show is "Only Murders in the Building".
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With so much cynicism in the everyday world, it seems harder and harder to look positively at the world and try to abide by the virtues of inclusivity and connectivity; but that's why when a true inspiration like "Scatman" John Larkin comes along, it's important to realize his message and try to abide by it. Because to put simply, if the Scatman can do it, so can everyone!
ONE HIT WONDERLAND - "Scatman (Ski-Ba-Bop-Ba-Dop-Dop)" by Scatman John: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9rUy0lvWxE
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Even for introverted people who enjoy the confines of their safe havens, traveling sometimes can bring with itself good memories and new perspectives. If that travel comes after a major illness, one can find themselves enthralled with the experience of traveling. If that travel is to one's hometown, it might even bring with itself new challenges and new looks.
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With the advent and the oversaturation of "public intellectuals", it's hard to not notice a growing number of them who spew their political and social ideologies as indisputable facts; and one of the more prominent one of them is a Canadian professor who rose to fame by getting involved in a cultural war of his own making, Jordan Peterson. Sometimes, one hates Jordan Peterson and what he represents in public debate.
A Brief Look at Jordan Peterson - SOME MORE NEWS: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSNWkRw53Jo
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After the missed chapter, first of its time, "The Last Thoughts of a Busy Mind" is back. The specter of a disease has roamed the human world for the past two years, and the mental decay and the existential emptiness that it brings sometimes can rival its physical symptoms. So when one, despite care and effort, doesn't manage to escape the slippery hands of the specter, sometimes it's imperative to vent frustration, discuss feelings and cough one's lungs out.
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When one looks back at most of the insecurities and the mental anguish of one's young life, the answer inevitably can be drawn back to the people who raised one from an embryo to a full-fledged adult. Their mistakes, their behavior and their actions creating a man or a monster within one's life. Parents, simply, need to understand.
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There's a phenomenon called "mundanity", which is described as the quality of being mundane. When one's views of their own expectations are skewed, mundanity is oftentimes seen as a negative and oftentimes as a curse. But, mundanity is not set in stone. When one's definition of "mundane" changes, maybe mundanity is not as mundane as it once were.
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When one extends one's ability and stretches one's mental capacity for creative work passed a certain threshold, the thought of continuing on that creative path will become arduous and sometimes may appear impossible. The feeling that one experiences at that point is a feeling commonly known as "burn out", and one can feel the reaches of it through time.
Check out my appearance on "Stamper Cinema": https://stampercinema.podbean.com/e/edward-scissorhands-with-ali-khamseh/
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With summer leaving the horizon and finally arriving at town, the weather has a tendency to be warmer than it was once used to be. With warmer weather, for people for whom warm weather is a true nuisance, comes a litany of questions and feelings. From harmless and fun like what cold drinks is one to make, to anxiety-inducing questions on Climate Change and Global Warming, and their scope.
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The feeling of anger is one that has a lot of controversy surrounding it, which makes it harder for one to express it as usual as other feelings. Though, the converse of expression of anger is the accumulation of it; and that might lead to unhealthy behaviors. So, for balance and for the good of one's health, sometimes anger is the emotion one needs to express.
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When one is away from a regular conversation for an not insignificant amount of time, there are issues and points of interest that remain undisclosed. When one returns to that regular conversation, those points are in need of a revision. It's time when one returns once more, for the sixth time, to catch up on what has happened.
Check out my appearance on "Broken Bulbs": https://brokenbulbs.captivate.fm/episode/214
Check out my appearance on "The Geekoning Podcast": https://allagesofgeek.com/videos/an-interview-with-ali-khamseh-the-geekoning-podcast/
Editing Writing: https://editingwriting.ca/
Check out my appearance on "Editing Writing": https://editingwriting.ca/2022/05/28/47-writing-movies-and-writing-fiction/
Stamper Cinema: https://stampercinema.podbean.com/
Special Chapter #4 - I Wonder What Kamiab Is Doing Tonight?: https://anchor.fm/akhamseh88/episodes/Special-Chapter-4-I-Wonder-What-Kamiab-Is-Doing-Tonight-e1ii1lq
F.D Signifier: https://www.youtube.com/c/FDSignifire/featured
AK88 Studios: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCP37QXeEcOQ5vJpQKgnph1w/featured
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In this episode, I sit down to talk with a friend of mine situated in another country, Kamiab. We met each other in a group catering to Persian Whovians, and despite some incredibly immature interactions, remained friends and started to talk more and more. So we decided to discuss the current state of "Doctor Who" and "Star Trek", Kamiab's interactions and plans for the gaming industry, and some needlessly political takes on right wingers and left wingers.
Check out Kamiab's article on "The Batman" for Movies, Games and Tech: https://moviesgamesandtech.com/2022/05/08/the-ill-defined-self-awareness-of-the-blind-bat/
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As the current season comes to an end, it brings with itself anticipation and resolution. As new journeys, exciting and breathtaking, take shape and ask for one to step in their way; it's hard to not want to look back and look at the desolate wasteland behind. But, sometimes one can go on not looking back or looking too far, when that one feels happy and content. When it almost feels like being in love.
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The world today seems absolutely maddening, and for the most part is it dangerously depressing. With a history of injustice and ineptitude and the overbearing weight of an uncertain future crushing one's hopes and dreams, every human being needs moments of solace and recharging. For some it takes the form of medication, for some it takes the form of physical activity, and for some it's expressing love and admiration for a particular universe.
Check out my appearance on "Yorick Radio Productions": https://yorickradio.buzzsprout.com/1084415/10445386-theoretically-theatrical-ali-khamseh
All Ages of Geek: https://allagesofgeek.com/
My Letterboxd account: https://letterboxd.com/AKhamseh88/
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To maintain a presence online is a task that can bring burnout and doubt more often than one is ready to handle. There are many recipes for supposed success in the ever-connected world of today; but sometimes one is stuck between those recipes and what they are meaning. What does it mean to chase that success, if one is sacrificing their work?
TGTBTI - Jafar Khan Az Farang Bargashte: https://youtu.be/G2ATQUpSz3s
Thought Slime: https://www.youtube.com/c/ThoughtSlime
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There are times that one goes into a trance of revising one's thoughts and realizes a peculiar phenomena: One can believe in two contradiction as one and holds them as equal truths. Whether meritless or meritorious, the contradictory thoughts manage to disable some part of one's brain function; maybe as a defense mechanism or as a last tool of gathering control.
Because We're Not the Same: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/because-were-not-the-same/id1505533851?uo=4
Ali Khamseh YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJOSmbfG5-nW79Q7I3OyyTw
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Revelations and re-evaluations can come from everywhere and in any situation. Sometimes one's friend tells an innocent remark that will bring out a truly disturbing thought, and sometimes one does things without realizing them until they are pointed out to them. One of these revelations may be that despite having a long relationship with people, one can still remain a bit closed off.
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Different parts of the world function on different calendars, and one such calendar remains to be the Persian one. With the year 1401 reaching the mortal coil, a new century has dawned: the 15th century. The new century, which marks the beginning of so much more and the contemplation on what has came and went before.
Bill Making Stuff: https://www.youtube.com/c/billmakingstuff
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Sometimes the needs of a joke outweighs the need of clarity. When a joke stares at one right in the eye, no matter how derivate or how repeated, its call needs to be answered. Even if that joke is as tired and overused as a number that every child from the age of 10 will snicker at, sometimes one gets to the episode with the number "69" on it, and has to just audible sigh: "Nice".
Yorick Radio Productions: https://yorickradio.buzzsprout.com/
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Insecurity is one ailment that resembles the mythical Hydra. For each head one cuts off, two more sprung out more resilient than before and more bloodthirsty than ever. The Hydra feeds on negativity and increases it tenfold. So when one's life is riddled with insecurity it grows harder and harder to escape its ever present claws. When one is down, the shadows of insecurity run high.
Bonus content - If you want to watch the original recording of the episode that I mention at the beginning, you can go to this link: https://youtu.be/4OFRHKgUIPU
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When a year passes in one's life, the prospect of reaching the end line becomes clearer. Though a birthday is a joyous occasion of celebrating the life that wasn't blown out for a full year, it is also a stark reminder that what remains is getting more scarce. So when a birthday is passed, it might have good consequences to lounge back and reflect on how one's life has been spent.
TGTBTI - Sir Gawain and the Green Knight: https://youtu.be/Mpxp_6gAO6I
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Content Warning: During the last third of this episode, I experience a live anxiety attack. It's nothing serious but if that makes you uncomfortable, proceed with caution.
There are a lot of things, little and insignificant, that can add up to the amount best exemplified in a mythical mountain such as doom. When that tends to happen, it's easy for a week to pass by like nothing of significance was done but yet there happens to be an everlasting feeling of frustration and aggression. But as much as one tries to stay away, some things are inevitable.
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The strict British nanny once told the world that the word "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" is used when one doesn't know what to speak of, and sometimes that is what happens to one. When a week is filled with apathy and a sense of uselessness, and there are a myriad of issues overwhelming every hour of every day; sometimes the best thing one can do is to say "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious".
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To end a relationship can be an arduous task, filled with an unhealthy amount of emotions pouring in from all sides. But sometimes that outpour of emotion can lead to words that not only hurt, they scar. When words that were given in confidence are used to humiliate and attack; the result may not just be termination of a relationship, it may be termination of a friendship.
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Education is a historically fundamental part of youth and early adulthood. You are enrolled in a school to learn the basics, and you enroll in a university to continue those basics. Ideally, this historically fundamental part is a mixture of hard work and enjoyment for following a passion or a desire; but as time and time shows the world is far from ideal.
Check out my appearance on "Story-Power": https://sagewoman.life/2022/02/02/movies-transport-us-when-we-need-it-most/
Check out my appearance on "Politically Entertaining with Evolving Randomness (PEER) by Elias": https://anchor.fm/elias-ellusionempire/episodes/100--Will-Ukraine-be-invaded--sabotaged-or-its-empty-theater---Entertaining-Interview-with-Ali-Khamseh-Part-II--Interesting-Reverse-Interview-with-Sebastian-Schug-Part-I-e1dmbcf
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A new year approaches and with it comes the gratuitous task of looking back to what has conspired through the past year. What plans and what promises were kept and what was lost in the march of time; and what came without no plans and what is hoping to come still. A new year approaches and with it comes the plans, the retrospectives and the resolutions.
Check out my appearance on "Politically Entertaining with Evolving Randomness (PEER) by Elias": https://anchor.fm/elias-ellusionempire/episodes/99--Midterms-Elections-Already-began--Entertaining-Interview-with-Ali-Khamseh--and-young-woman-flew-past-old-records-e1dbnos
Wait, I've Seen it Before: https://anchor.fm/mohammad-taghavi
I, Crafter: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLppcFh8CFKA2EoIP74_8mfeIqMAynvBDm
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A new year approaches and with it comes the gratuitous task of looking back to what has conspired through the past year. What plans and what promises were kept and what was lost in the march of time; and what came without no plans and what is hoping to come still. A new year approaches and with it comes the plans, the retrospectives and the resolutions.
Politically Entertaining with Evolving Randomness (PEER) by Elias: https://anchor.fm/elias-ellusionempire
AK88 Studios: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCP37QXeEcOQ5vJpQKgnph1w
Special Chapter #3 - They Call the Wind Siavash: https://anchor.fm/akhamseh88/episodes/Special-Chapter-3-They-Call-the-Wind-Siavash-e1ca0m0
YASP! YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC09a0-qjMC8ZA9d_L_jThpg
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In this episode, I sit down (in person!) and talk with a friend who I've known since 2018, Siavash. We met each other through friends and acquaintances in our Art University, and hit it off with an obsession with certain movies and certain YouTube personalities. So we decide to discuss those YouTube personalities, an array of different movies, the end of 2021 and how the year was, and Siavash's battle with something that is usually reserved for people of older age.
Check out Siavash's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/goodsiavash/?hl=en
AK88 Studios: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCP37QXeEcOQ5vJpQKgnph1w
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When one's life goes through cycles of depression and mediocrity, it might be often hard to ponder what is coming and anticipate that with glee and joy. But life is nothing if not unpredictable. Sometimes, out of seemingly no plausible place, there will be an occasion where one will look forward to what is coming on. For once in a long time, one will look forward to the passage of time.
Wait, I've Seen It Before!: https://anchor.fm/mohammad-taghavi
YASP!: https://anchor.fm/yasp
AK88 Studios: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCP37QXeEcOQ5vJpQKgnph1w
Email me at: ContactAKhamseh88@gmail.com
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In a desire to dedicate a significant amount of time to one's favorite genre in filmmaking, it's good to orchestrate ways of integrating that genre into one's life for a full month. That may come as catching up on one's watch list, or organizing watch parties, or creating a self-inflicted challenge. This is the third option, this is "Western August in November".
Download the PDF here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1cSgSvF8dd7EFcxaGKmiCspo_9E6CmfYH/view?usp=sharing
Wait. I've Seen It Before!: https://anchor.fm/mohammad-taghavi
YASR! - A Tribute to Stephen Sondheim: https://anchor.fm/yasp/episodes/YASR----A-Tribute-to-Stephen-Sondheim-e1av8lk
Email me at: ContactAKhamseh88@gmail.com
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The residual emotional turmoil of a situation piled on top of another one can result in apathy and misery, and it very well can cripple any working mind. So it might be fair for one's brain to try and look at some surface level desires and short term happiness goals to try and soothe the ache. To ignore the bad is foolish, to ignore the good is destructive.
Check out my appearance on "Broken Bulbs": https://brokenbulbs.captivate.fm/episode/136
TGTBTI - Sweeney Todd: https://youtu.be/9W42ECCBSo0
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Emotions are sometimes hard to keep under control. As life spins more out of control and insecurities and fears start to show their ugly heads, one's emotions start to wreak havoc on one's life. When these emotions get too rowdy, it seems like one's life is in dire need of a miracle, even one that would look like a disaster at first.
TGTBTI - Sweeney Todd: https://youtu.be/9W42ECCBSo0
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The world has changed no doubt, and there are many cries of a return to the world before the changes. As humanity slowly tries to return to that world, whether smartly or out of impatience, there's a sense of anxiety. When the world has been a locked down experience for a couple of years, is it odd to feel a bit of unease to leave that state fairly soon?
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Sometimes, when the air is quiet and the desire is satiated; one can look up and dream on. One can dream of flying in the air, one can dream of living happily ever after, or one can dream of what they would do given the opportunity to do anything in the field they love. Sometimes, when the air is quiet and the desire is satiated, one can dream of that one project they'd give anything to create.
Born in Quarantine - Man of La Mancha: https://youtu.be/hqGgdgMi8pk
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What will happen when one lives under the eyes of a repressive feeling that will crush many joys and desires at once through intimidation and years of subjugation? The results are never pretty, and often times maybe living in this state will create a monster of sorts. A giant behemoth of anxiety and frightfulness, sitting atop one's chest, looking down in one's eyes.
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With the world moving at such a pace that no one man can get a hold of it, there's sometime a faint feeling in the air as one looks around and sees all that is done and all that is need to be done. That faint feeling can be quite devastating if left unchecked, and if checked it can bring a sense of shame to one. But why is that? Why does one feels shame when comes to grasp with overwhelmtion?
Check out my appearance on "Fancy a Blether?": https://www.fancyablether.com/podcast/episode/27467bc3/working-in-the-film-industry
Check out my appearance on "The Basement Binge": https://open.spotify.com/episode/6nXBJCr0yPctpeYdJzEnbd?si=gMtuJ0hmQN6uSHr3FOG2Rg
The Extreme Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-extreme-podcast/id1469040777?uo=4
The Basement Binge: https://linktr.ee/Bingebasement
Story-Power: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/story-power/id1524657088?uo=4
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When one's accustomed to the feeling of despair, or resentment, or the simple broad concept of "unwell"; sometimes to feel good is somewhat of an unnerving experience. When life seems to be working well, and when everything is in order, sometimes one's brain tries hard to find irregularities (or in their absence, conjure them up out of nothing) just to bring that shine down and make everything the usual murky color. Well, not this time!
TGTBTI - Omerta City of Gangsters: https://youtu.be/MVsSePdHwZY
Email: ContactAKhamseh88@gmail.com
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As one walks through life, one gathers interests and some of those are in the world of fandoms. But when one enters the fandom, the desire to share that fandom and that universe with the world is intensified, and if one's lucky, they will influence other beings of indulging in those fandoms. Such is the tale of a little known fandom who don themselves "Trekkies", and one's friend who gave his word a chance.
Check out my appearance on "The Goblin's Corner": https://open.spotify.com/episode/5PexO8tN5PfqmDhsMzZiOG?si=j7UGSSKDRKWEC0Fx_9ecIQ
Fancy a Blether: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fancy-a-blether/id1518319465?uo=4
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One's formative years of childhood is utilized to develop skills and puts them to use for the rest of one's life, but sometimes there are hiccups in that development. When one is alone for most of one's formative years, some skills develop faster and some don't develop at all, and as many things in life, unbalance can have rather uneasy consequences as the years pass by.
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The feeling of being judged based on a merit that is not anything other than a desire to recognize and cheat the game, should not be a contributing factor for mental unease; but even if the authority is rejected, the feeling of getting an official statement that your work lacks any value is not a pleasant feeling either. It's not a good day for one to have to endure the possibility that he might be known officially, as a hack.
Nobbel87 YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/Nobbel87
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When one falls into the same holes over and over again, is it the definition of stupidity? Or a bit of hope? What is hope, if not a way for one's brain to look at all that is wrong and all that is broken and say with a whisper: "this time it'll be different". Hope can be such an aphrodisiac for life, but also a good reminder of all that isn't right.
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There are passages of time in anyone's life, where they lay there unmotivated and waiting. The world around them is going swimmingly, in a brisk pace and with not upheaval; but something does not feel right. There's anticipation, there's a sense of wrongness, above all, there's no emotions left. That's when one's emotions are so tired that they leave the body as a whole, that's when one is f--ked beyond emotions.
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It's the return, and the hopeful constant continuation of one's quest to keep talking against all odds and purposes. The glorious comeback, and the hope that there must be better days ahead, and the realization that the past days were fruitful as well. Maybe in conversing about these topics, misunderstanding is apt; but one can only implore the lord that they will not be misunderstood.
Special Chapter #2 - The Name on Everybody's Lips Is Gonna be Parsa: https://anchor.fm/akhamseh88/episodes/Special-Chapter-2-The-Name-on-Everybodys-Lips-Is-Gonna-be-Parsa-e15pmlc
TGTBTI - American Gods: https://youtu.be/W5qOLkhXwz8
The Goblin's Corner: https://feeds.buzzsprout.com/1321969.rss
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In this episode, I sit down to talk with an old friend that I have known for six years at this point, starting from our university years, Parsa. We met each other on the hallowed halls of our Art University, and our bond has grown more recently with our shared love of certain movies and ideas. So we discuss therapy, life under covid, Parsa's headline-breaking news and Mark Manson's "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck".
Check out Parsa's Podcast, it's in Persian: https://anchor.fm/itsparsa
Check out my appearance on "Myth & Magic" podcast: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7DG0n3ztuSRWcfbY9cvYr9
Check out my appearance on "The Greatest Movies of All Time" podcast: https://player.captivate.fm/episode/71cb739d-1f91-49d2-a87d-4f81560e4cef
Check out AK88 Studios Youtube Channel Update: https://youtu.be/ziB0rZgjDCo
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With every end, there's a possibility for a promise; the promise to return, or not to. With every going, there's the possibility for a promise; the promise to come back one day, or not to. When a journey comes to a stop, it leaves one with an array of promises, some spoken and some unspoken; for as long as life goes on, there's a promise of some kind.
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To live for one year is an achievement in and of itself, and humanity celebrates it by a birthday, or an anniversary for one's birth; since to be alive for a full year is hard enough. So, this marks the one year anniversary of one's quest to speak to anyone and everyone being alive; and it went through much highs and lows, but stands here in front of an audience, one year older.
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Of various ways to tell a story, sometimes none is as effective as the medium of videogames. They swallow one through their mazes of emotion of storytelling, and give the experience unmatched by most other forms of art. Now, what if one could be the creator of this experience? What if there was a meta-experience that allowed one to create their own videogame, using a videogame?
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The act of seeing the hardship, providing poor results, and even embarrassing oneself on more than one occasion and then living to see yet another day and another attempt, is a virtue worth praising but a virtue that most times needs a smidgen of remembrance. It's easy to forget one's uphill journey into something greater, and it's easy to forget what it entailed when looking back at it through sheer transparent memory; so one needs to look back every once in a while and feel that journey and what it lead up to.
Crackpot Theories: https://www.buzzsprout.com/723450
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To be bilingual, is a blessing and a curse; especially when you approach the bilingual ability without a balance. As one language gets stronger, if you forget to exercise the other, it becomes weaker and weaker. But that's the upside of having a mother's tongue, no matter how weak it gets it's forever embedded into one's brain. And sometimes, one needs to speak in their birth language, just out of obligation, or out of promise.
My Wax Museum: https://www.mechoradio.com/mywaxmuseum
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There's an undying quest, happening in an unrelenting cycle in the mind of every member of the human race. It's a quest that gives the illusion of going forward. It's the quest that satiates the little voice in the back of one's head. It's the quest with the most vague journey and the most outrageously vague reward, but it's one that all go through. The destination? Some undisclosed goal called betterment.
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What is the purpose of a ghost? It's to frighten or to delight? One might express that the purpose of a ghost is purely in the eye of the beholder. They can be beautiful transparent memories wrapped in a fabric of their own making, or they can be a reminder of death itself wearing tattered remainders of some poor soul's clothing. All that they are, they are a specter, and one can't always foresee them when they appear out of thin air.
Broken Bulbs: https://www.mechoradio.com/brokenbulbs
X Soldering Iron: https://anchor.fm/x-solderingiron
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The tart, tangy and sometimes sour taste of a citrus, something that can be categorized as simply an "acquired" taste; but also can be a good way to separate one's life into manageable time chunks, not unlike pieces of a grapefruit. Whether juiced, cubed, carbonated or peeled, a grapefruit is something more than just a natural hybrid, it's a symbol. It's a way to look back at memories, it's yet another segue into jumpstarting that nostalgia, whether that is healthy or not.
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In a world filled with jacks of all trades, and masters of none; what if one is not even proficient enough to be called a jack of all trades, let alone master of none? The anxiety, the unforgivable nature of the world, and a sad and ugly truth of a lack of any marketable skill can bring about the old moniker of the great modern major general, who knew anything except what he was required to know. A comical bit, that much like other comical bits, can become harrowing when experienced outside the realm of comedy.
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Our habits have power over us, to some extent they are how we go on living and create who and what we are. But they are also harmful, if they fall into the comfort zone; whether that habit is something as severe as addiction or something as light as binging. Habits need re-evaluation every once in a while, and what can one do when one is faced with the question of "Why am I doing this?" and finds the answer to remain habits?
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For some, partaking in a journey without a set course of action might seem like an adventure, and for some the exact scenario might be considered a horrifying nightmare; but what happens when the set course takes an unexpected turn, either towards a shortcut to something beautiful or a cliff with no warning signs? The question of what does the unexpected brings, is one that can throw any sane human used to working with a set plan into some form of self-assessment, and maybe even showcase something clearer than what they perceived themselves to be.
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How does one justify or diagnose laziness? If laziness is an ailment, it needs symptoms. But symptoms for laziness are shockingly similar to other ailments. It could be depression, or lack of material, or simply a bad mood. But what if all of them, were just reasoning of a brain trying to justify a bad trait; trying hard to justify "laziness"?
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When one looks back at one's own life, probably the most gruesome thing one can encounter is that horrifying whisper of "almost...". Looking through one's academic endeavors, one's career and many a project, the word one least expects to notice is "almost...". So why is that word, is the only thing one can look back at and say with certainty, that it has always been there?
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Memories of someone who one considers important to their journey through the highs and lows of life, can sometimes be looked at through rosy-tinted glasses or through a haze of emotions that once fooled one into feeling a connection. But what if that is not the truth or at least it's only part of it? That is why there's need to sometimes look at those memories and look at those human beings with a new outlook, with a new perspective.
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The voice you heard, once upon a time, is back yet again and this time with a tale of woe. To a mind that is trying hard to express itself, obsession is an unwelcome but always present companion. To express means to relief one's brain of burden; and to keep quiet means building more and more structures out of a subject that might not require that much thought. To obsess, oh, what a miserable existence.
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This episode has me sitting and talking with one of my closest friends, Amir Reza. We met a while ago online, and even though our physical interactions have been very limited, he is one of the people who knows about me and my life the most. So we talk about video games, our shared fear of death, Amir Reza's cat and our lives as perpetually single bachelors with anxiety issues.
P.S. this was our first attempt at using Anchor and I wasn't aware that app is also sending signals so the audio quality is not the best. There's a lot of voices that are heard twice, and even though it's noticeable, I don't know any way of fixing it. So, lesson learnt, and we will change our approach the next time we do this.
Check out YASP! (Yet Another Shitty Podcast!): https://anchor.fm/yasp
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When a journey ends, is it truly the end? Or is it just the beginning of a journey to a new destination? Life is an unpredictable monster, and new sensations bring new obsessions. One can easily stay within their confines, or one can begin something anew. Maybe a new hobby? Maybe a new gift? Maybe a new way of life? One can only know, when one tries.
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When one is enthralled by an experience, it is not uncommon to want and recreate that in another form; maybe even as experiences for others. Thus begins the imagination of something grand, brought upon by the virtue of "Sid Meier's Pirates", and taking form into an idea for a series of unlikely mechanics and underdeveloped ideas.
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How can one define strength? The amount of context and the amount of different sources of pressure on a brain at any given moment is so vast that to define strength seems impossible; and yet the human brain tries to define it at any given moment. Is one truly weak? Or is it the accumulation of many moments of weakness in succession? Is one truly strong? Or is luck playing a bigger part than it confesses?
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The human brain works in mysterious ways. It requires accolades and praise to feel that rush of good emotions; but at the same time when it gets them it falls back on many insecurities to achieve one goal. That goal being proving that the one the brain controls is an imposter. When world seems out of order, when one tries and nothing is gained; one has to ask the odd question: is there some validity to the calls of imposter?
With a special guest, Kiarash.
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Idle hands are the devil's workshop, so to keep them busy it's better to work on one's own workshop. The act of finding, enjoying and doing a hobby, is one of the most enjoyable pastimes that humanity has created for itself. It gives a weary mind who might lack creative force something to focus on, and it gives way to creating something beautiful and majestic, if not completely personal.
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Disorders. Disruptions of normalcy, or merely manifestations of genetic memory? Whatever the reason, whatever the cause, whatever the root, disorders are a part of the life for many a human. Everyone have their own brand of disorders that do their job to destroy their routine, to some extend even make life obsolete. This is a tale of two disorders, and one man's brain.
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Music, in its core, is a subject of passion. The music that one listens to can define their view on the world, the rhythm of their life and the magnitude of their failures. So with something so close to passion, it's inevitable that the question of "taste" is more than prominent. The music taste takes so many forms, and brings on so many judgments; it makes groups, and makes isolation.
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Loneliness is a condition too familiar to many a modern person. To be alone, almost seen falsely as a virtue, is a curse that riddled the life of many greats and many smalls, and the effects of which can break a soul or leave a scar so deep that healing seems unbearable in and of itself. Loneliness is the curse, that bewilders and beguiles; and brings that outspoken question: Why?
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The world is full of broken promises, from one to another, from one to a group, and even from one to themselves. So when one comes back to a world that they left behind so many time just to enjoy one of the last remnants of a genre slowly dying out, fulfilling a promise is merely that chocolate syrup on top of a pretty good sundae. The syrup that would be missed, if it wasn't there.
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When a new year approaches, it's finally time for one to look back at all that happened and to plan for all that is yet to happen. Maybe the blind optimism, or maybe the conditioning of looking at something somewhat new is the reason, but the association of all the misery with a particular number on a calendar is a tradition; one that a broken mind can look forward to with some degree of excitement.
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Sleep is more than just a great equalizer for the brain to gather all incoherent thoughts into a line and create coherence; sleep is also the guardian of the gate to the unwanted and unnerved thoughts that are safeguarded during the day. So when sleep is weak, it gives way to all kinds of craziness being free. The results? Something incoherent for sure, but also may contain that old nuggets of looking into someone's brain all curtains risen.
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Acting is often one of those most discussed topics of a movie production. With many different schools of thought in how it should be presented or appreciated, it's no wonder that for many people acting is something so inherently interesting. But what does acting mean to someone who is not one? What is that passionate profession for someone without passion? How does one prepare, if one isn't an "actor"?
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The stench of a politician, the gagging sensation of witnessing a lobbyist, and the disgust of reviewing politics. No matter how much one despises those foul feelings, politics remains there; always glaring like a hungry beast. So in some instances, there needs to be a confrontation. One last punch, before leaving the beast and keep running.
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Musicals are such a grand form of art. They mix the joy of music and song, with the storytelling fit for a king, and they reach that harmony of creating something out of this world. Imagine, if you will, the grandeur of Musicals through a whole month; the joy, the rhythm, the stories, simply said, the musicality. What's not for anyone to enjoy?
Download the PDF here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1lD1Y_c-dqQtu8Q9rX_4AeTtwjSoQm21n/view?usp=sharing
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After some time apart, the voice you heard once is back again; and it's here to adhere to a promise long into making. A comedy show from half a century ago, revisited through modern eyes. Will it find a new home in the annals of comical genius? Or will it be yet another relic of the past that carry the rather unfortunate stench of its era? Will the laughter outpace the date? All and more will come back for yet another chapter in the quest to talk.
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For every beginning, there is an interlude. For every sequence, there is a transition. For every note, there is silence. Here is that interlude, that transition and that silence. The final step, and yet the very first one. The end of an era, but with the promises of a new one. Goodbye, and hope to see you all soon for the start of a new beginning, for the first frame of a new sequence, and the first noise of a new note.
The Youtube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCJOSmbfG5-nW79Q7I3OyyTw
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From two corners of a vast country, from two different cultures, two different races, two different dialects, two men were born and two men had families. In Isfahan, an illiterate baker working day and night in the vicinity of literal fires to bake sweet treats for people of all ages who relied on him for their daily bread; and in Tabriz, a highly skilled doctor who resolved people's daily ailment and brought them back to full health. These two men, were patriarchs of two families; and from those two families came a boy and a girl and the result of that union was the man whose voice you hear.
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As a creature of habit, to move from a situation to another can be startling; or maybe even worse, it can be a burden on a broken psyche. To experience that sadness seems like a logical step in dealing with mortality; but the result, whether logical or illogical, can remain a thorn in one's side and bring one to their knees, wishing for an ear or an eye to witness them. To remain alone in the midst of depression, is a curse; for which there seems to be no cure.
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The tool that is used more often than any other, and has the ability to shape one's thought and one's feelings through its use and misuse. A truly powerful invention of the mankind, designed to control and to liberate. From "Look Onto My Work, Ye Mighty" to "Quoth the Raven: Nevermore", language has been there for the human since birth through death. But what if one lives in an unharmonious paradox with it? What if one is restricted through this tool, by the nature of his birthplace?
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The weight of standing on your feet all day, clutching a bunch of crumbled papers they so meticulously numbered from "AD-270" to "ZX-740"; and your information written on them time after time, only to be told that what you prepared is insufficient and you need to go through the pain all over again. That is the essence of paperwork, that is the true core of bureaucracy. It's an enemy to comfort, and an ally to muscular spasms. It lives, so it can organize; and it lives, so it can feed on the will to live.
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Bob Dylan once said "We Live In a Political World", and as much as one tend to stray off the cesspool of political discussions, it seems like there's no way to avoid it fully. One of the avenues where politics show its ugly head, is in relation with art. What is art's place in politics? Or what is politic's place in arts? Is art nothing more than a political agenda for the artist? Or is art in and of itself anti-politics?
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They say it is the fate of each and every member of the human race to remain alone; that loneliness is hereditary and there's no escape from it. Though they fail to mention that even with the possibility of a kernel of truth within those words, humanity does not need to go through his loneliness without accompaniment from those who one calls "friends". Friends are there to share the journey, and friends are there to help each other; and through that maybe, and just maybe, humankind is not always alone.
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Rage has a key to open up those far recesses in one's brain; designed to keep the most private of thoughts away. With anger, words are spoken that come through without any filter, good or bad. With anger, one might feel relieved of carrying a burden that weighed heavily on one's shoulder; but what to do when the anger dissipates? How to live with the aftermath of anger, as if nothing has happened? How much it will break an already broken psyche?
Check out my friend over at https://anchor.fm/x-solderingiron
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The shallowness of admitting that you need to be loved, plagues the brain of many writers and those who want to consider themselves enlightened. "Humankind is born to be alone, and thus it shall remain alone" is a mantra that for many is the basis of their judgement of their wants. But as shallow as it may appear, the desire to be loved and to be wanted is not unheard of. Some do want that someone beyond the sea to look for them.
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To write is to create, and what is creation if not seen through the eye of some beholder? To have an audience, to have someone who will look upon the words you put upon a blank page and to have someone to appreciate them is a true gift. A gift that can bring a smile to the lips of an artist, no matter the creed or the era or the age. You can be someone who has put pen to paper for the first time, or the most experienced of writers; when you hear those elusive praises, it will perch your lips into an unwanted grin.
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Any human of any age needs to come face to face with the horrifying truth that the art they love is not their own. They need to see as the owner of that piece of art destroy it, or celebrate it. To see it being torn shred by shred, in front of the masses that cheer the executioner and congratulate him on a job well done can bring anyone to the verge of tears. Such is the tale of a little animated movie by the name of "The Lion King", and the merciless butchering of everything grand about it by the hands that unfortunately owned it.
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"Look onto my work, ye mighty, and despair!" is not just a cry for destruction. It's a will and a want. It's when a human being works hard to leave anything behind. A piece of literature, a drawing, a poem, a musical composition, or even a short movie. Sand is the title for a project that is barely alive as of yet, and may as well change its name before it becomes a fully fledged baby. Sand is here, it's a fetus. Will it grow? or will it be aborted? It all falls on the shoulders of the man who conceived it, and that man is terrified.
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To be popular, to be wanted; is it truly a shallow construct of the fragile human mind? Always looking for validation, always looking for someone to need them, what does it mean to be popular? Or how can one be popular? It's time to let go of the lies, and the outward appearance of not caring for words of praise from others. What does it mean to truly be unpopular, lonely, and always discarded yet never wanted?
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The urge to have an offspring, to bring someone in the world who you can truly love unconditionally and maybe have someone to love you for who you are. All pretty dreams, but is there something underneath it? Those are the questions that rise when one is faced to a text-based game called "The Parenting Simulator", and has to revisit their idea of parenting; both the pleasant sides and unpleasant sides of it.
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Every story, regardless of good or bad, needs a beginning. There needs to be a point where everything starts, and there needs to be a point where you can look back on. Though this is not going to be the best of stories, it still needs a beginning.
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