All Relationships Can Heal: Recent Episodes
Rebecca Thompson Hitt
Healing starts with YOU. One of the most powerful lessons to learn is that you can’t control someone else. You can’t. But you can create the conditions that will support the best possible outcome, the conditions for healing to happen.
Sometimes healing means boundaries. Sometimes healing means learning to create emotional safety. Sometimes it is about understanding your story and the other person’s story and having compassion for yourself and the other.
You can learn the skills that will support you in having healthy relationships with the people you love most. This podcast will give you tips in parent-size bites that anyone can use to heal the relationships in their lives.
Rebecca Thompson Hitt is the founder of The Consciously Parenting Project, LLC, and author of 3 books, numerous classes and recordings, and the former co-host of a radio show, True North Parents. To learn more about Rebecca visit https://consciouslyparenting.com.
When I think of the word presence, I don’t really think of fun. Maybe that’s true for you, too. I think of someone sitting in a lotus position meditating, trying to let the thoughts go and coming back to their breath. That doesn’t sound like FUN to me. Peaceful, yes. But fun, no. But what if I told you that when we’re having fun, we’re actually in the present moment?
Today we’re going to be talking about FUN and what it has to do with being more present and some ideas for what it can look like in your life.
Visit the episode webpage for more at https://consciouslyparenting.com/archpodcasts/27.
When a relationship isn’t working well in your life, it’s essential to find ways to take good care of yourself and find the community resources that make that possible. Most of us are under-supported when things are going well, but there is an even bigger chasm between what we need and what we are getting in terms of support when we’re stressed out or having a difficult time.
My name is Rebecca Thompson Hitt and this is Thankful Thursday on the All Relationships Can Heal podcast. Today we’re going to be talking about the important role of self and community care in healing relationships.
Visit the episode webpage for more at https://consciouslyparenting.com/archpodcasts/26.
A boundary is when we say ‘no.’ It might be ‘no’ to your toddler playing in the street or a ‘no’ to an unhealthy relationship. Some people have ‘no’ down really well. Others really struggle with it. But very few have the ‘no’ down with room for feelings and respect. This is an essential part of healthy relationships and boundaries are a critical part of healing relationships. I’m Rebecca Thompson Hitt and this is the All Relationships Can Heal podcast. Today is Wisdom Wednesday and we’re talking about Respectful Boundaries.
Visit the episode webpage for more at https://consciouslyparenting.com/archpodcasts/25.
Feelings are often misunderstood, and a lot of effort goes into distracting our kids and even sometimes ourselves from our feelings. When we can create the space for our own feelings and our kids’ feelings or the feelings of our loved ones, we actually create more opportunity for healing to happen. Today is Time-In Tuesday and we’re talking about feelings and what they have to do with healing.
Visit the episode webpage for more at https://consciouslyparenting.com/archpodcasts/24.
Relationships are created out of the experiences that happen in real life and the stories we make up about the things that happened. These stories can be true or maybe not quite true. And these stories can help us to heal or they can make things worse. Today we’re going to talk about those stories, where they come from, and what that has to do with healing.
Visit the episode webpage for more at https://consciouslyparenting.com/archpodcasts/23.
We’ve been talking about my 8 Guiding Principles and this last week, we’ve explored the first 4. Today, I would love to talk about fun in the midst of healing. We can’t stay in the intensity of the way most people think about healing. AND healing needs to include fun. So much of what we experience that needs to be healed is held in our bodies. And for many of us, that means we disconnect in some ways from our bodies. When our kids are given the space, they move their bodies, sometimes in annoying ways. As adults, we need to do the same, but maybe with less of the annoying part. So, today, on the All Relationships Can Heal podcast, Fun Friday is going to be about moving your body. Visit the episode webpage for more at https://consciouslyparenting.com/archpodcasts/22
When we think about difficult behaviors, very seldom are we thankful. Most of the time, understandably, we just want those behaviors to stop. So much parenting information suggests that we ignore or we punish behaviors if we don’t like them and that is supposed to make changes. But behaviors actually give us clues about the things that have happened to us earlier in our lives that are trying to heal.
What if we could bring curiosity into the behaviors we see in ourselves and in our loved ones? Would that give us more space to actually see the behaviors for what they actually are and to find some gratitude for them? I’m Rebecca Thompson Hitt and this is the All Relationships Can Heal podcast. Today we’re talking about my guiding principle #4.
Visit the episode webpage for more at https://consciouslyparenting.com/archpodcasts/21
Today on the All Relationships Can Heal podcast, we’re going to be talking about my 3rd guiding principle about our development. When we can understand a little bit more about how we develop and grow and how the growth creates patterns, we can start to understand ourselves and our loved ones in a different light. And the light is where the healing can happen. I’m Rebecca Thompson Hitt and you’re listening to the All Relationships Can Heal podcast and this is Wisdom Wednesday.
Visit the episode webpage for more at https://consciouslyparenting.com/archpodcasts/20
So much of what we learn in our families growing up and through cultural norms is that the only way to teach our children the “right” way of doing anything is to bring in some pain. Think about it. When we give a consequence or we punish, we’re bringing in some pain to “help” someone learn a lesson. It may bring about a temporary behavior change, but what is happening to our relationship? Today is Time-in Tuesday and we’re talking about the things we need to do to shift the way we look at relationships to support the healing that is waiting to happen. Visit the episode webpage for more at https://consciouslyparenting.com/archpodcasts/19/
What does healing really mean? Whether it is a pattern that's been passed through the generations or something that's happened in your lifetime, whether you're the one who needs to heal or you're wanting to heal a relationship with someone else, we need to know what it means to heal. Today we look at one of the ways we can begin to shift the way we look at relationships with the first guiding principle: All behavior is a communication and what that means for healing is our topic today on Mindful Monday!
Visit the episode webpage for more at https://consciouslyparenting.com/archpodcasts/18/
We've been talking with Alok and Kruti Kanojia, co-founders of Healthy Gamer. We've explored the world of gamers, the kinds of gamers and their real life skills, gifts and talents, and we've explored when gaming is a problem and how to support our gamers. Today, we're talking about having FUN together as a family and finding ways that are fun for all!
Visit the episode webpage for more at https://consciouslyparenting.com/archpodcasts/17/
We are talking again with Alok and Kruti Kanojia, the co-founders of Healthy Gamer. We've been talking about technology and gaming and relationships, when we have something we need to be concerned about and listening to our intuition. It's been such a rich conversation. Today we're going to be talking about setting goals as a family and supporting the gamer, which is something that's totally not the way we normally think. We'll be sharing the 5 types of gamers and the real world skills the different types of gamers have.
Visit the episode webpage for more at https://consciouslyparenting.com/archpodcasts/16/
We're continuing our conversation with Alok and Kruti Kanojia of Healthy Gamer. Today we're exploring the question of when technology and gaming is a problem? While physical health, emotional stability, social growth, real-world outcomes and mental health are some areas to explore, we're most concerned with how can we stay in relationship while we're identifying when something doesn't seem to be working?
Visit the episode webpage for more at https://consciouslyparenting.com/archpodcasts/15/
Today, we're continuing our series about Healthy Gaming. Our conversation moves into the disconnections that inevitably happen in families around technology and gaming. How can we stay connected and in communication? How do we support our kids to be healthy gamers and respect everyone's needs and experiences? What can you do when your child doesn't show up for dinner that doesn't involve punishment or unplugging the computer or turning off the internet? Alok (aka Dr. K) and Kruti Kanojia, co-founders of Healthy Gamer, are back to share their insights with us.
Visit the episode webpage for more at https://consciouslyparenting.com/archpodcasts/14/
Parenting and technology are really challenging for parents, especially for parents who want to stay in connection with their children. This week, we're joined by Alok and Kruti Kanojia, co-founders of Healthy Gamer. We're going to be talking about what the challenges actually are with gaming and technology and how you can know if there's actually a problem. Dr. K is a psychiatrist and healthy gamer himself who nearly failed out of school because of gaming, so he speaks from his personal and professional experiences to help us stay connected to our kids WITH technology.
For more, visit the website at https://consciouslyparenting.com/archpodcasts/13
Vulnerability is a word that’s been made popular, or at least part of the conversation, by Brene Brown’s work. Turns out that being vulnerable is also a huge part of the healing process and so today we’re going to be talking about why and how vulnerability is important. And we’ll also be talking about sharing family stories with our children, what that looks like, and why it’s important. I’m Rebecca Thompson Hitt and this is the All Relationships Can Heal Podcast. Today we finish our conversation with Dr. Robert T. Muller, PhD about his book, Trauma and the Struggle to Open Up.
Visit my website for more at https://consciouslyparenting.com/archpodcasts/12/.
Our third podcast in our series on parenting with trauma centers around the ways we can heal from our own childhoods, from things that have happened to us that are impacting us in our parenting, including some surprising ways that don't involve talking. Our guest, Dr. Robert T Muller, is the author of the book, Trauma and the Struggle to Open Up: From Avoidance to Recovery and Growth. Dr. Muller, PhD, trained at Harvard, is on faculty at the University of Massachusetts and is currently at York University in Toronto.
Visit my website for more at https://consciouslyparenting.com/archpodcasts/11/.
Today, we are continuing our conversation about how parenting is impacted by our own experiences of trauma. These are the moments when we are having a difficult time parenting the way we want to parent, despite trying to shift our behaviors. We’ll be sharing some stories about parents who have been doing their own healing work and what it looked like in their interactions with their kids.
Our guest, Dr. Robert T Muller, is the author of the book, Trauma and the Struggle to Open Up: From Avoidance to Recovery and Growth. Dr. Muller, PhD, trained at Harvard, is on faculty at the University of Massachusetts and is currently at York University in Toronto.
For more, visit https://consciouslyparenting.com/archpodcasts/10/.
When something difficult happens and we're not "over it" soon enough, we often find ourselves judging our own process. Today we're going to be talking about those tender places and why compassion is so important. Our guest, Dr. Robert T Muller, is the author of the book, Trauma and the Struggle to Open Up: From Avoidance to Recovery and Growth. Dr. Muller, PhD, trained at Harvard, is on faculty at the University of Massachusetts and is currently at York University in Toronto.
Visit my website for more at https://consciouslyparenting.com/archpodcasts/9/.
We have all experienced them. They’re the moments when we’re feeling overwhelmed as a parent. Maybe it’s the way your child doesn’t listen to you when you ask them to do something. Or perhaps it is when your child says no to something they need to do. Or when your child isn’t caring as much as you think they should about school, their room, life, etc. Or they’re being disrespectful to you, your partner, or a sibling.
And suddenly a switch flips and you’re no longer rational. You might look back on it later and realized that your reaction might have been a little over the top, but regardless, it doesn’t feel good to you. We’re going to be talking about those trigger parenting moments and why it’s important to talk about trauma and our own early overwhelming experiences.
Visit my website for more at https://consciouslyparenting.com/archpodcasts/8/.
Playfulness and fun are essential parts of life. Our brains are not only really good at learning and processing a lot of information, they’re also good at play. That’s part of our mammalian brains. I’m sure that you’ve seen puppies playing with one another and mother dogs playing with their puppies. Play is a way that we learn and connect with one another.
But many of us are really serious and we don’t know how to play. Some of us weren’t really played with as children and some of us didn’t play as children for various reasons. But this way of connecting that’s not about tasks or to do lists is foreign for a lot of us. On our podcast today, we'll be exploring what fun and play have to do with healing.
Visit my website at https://consciouslyparenting.com.
After all this talk so far this week about dysregulation and feeling unsettled, which happens when a relationship isn’t going well, we’re going to shift a bit into thankfulness. Finding something to be thankful for makes a huge difference in your body and your ability to regulate yourself! This is not about denying something is going poorly or that there isn’t suffering when there is. It’s easy to get sucked into the bad. Actually, our brains are wired to really be on alert for the bad things. That’s what helps us to avoid painful things in the future. It’s important and it helps keep us alive.
Today, you'll hear about gratitude and thankfulness and what it has to do with healing relationships!
Visit my website at https://consciouslyparenting.com.
Wisdom Wednesday is all about the science behind what I’m talking about on the All Relationships Can Heal podcast. I love the research and translating it into usable information for humans to help make life just a little bit better. Today we're talking about regulation, which is a term used in nearly every scientific discipline, but until recently was nearly absent from parenting information. Regulation is feeling calm in the body, brain, and nervous system. When the body, brain, and nervous system are calm, we can make good choices about our behavior. Find out the ingredients of regulation to help yourself and your family in this episode! Visit my website for more https://consciouslyparenting.com.
Time-in has become a bit more common a term over the past 5-10 years and the reason is that our new understanding of growing brains supports it. The old way of thinking about time-out was that when a child misbehaves, they need to go away by themselves and think about what they’ve done. Sounds good in theory and it’s probably what was done to you when you were growing up.
Time out is based on Behaviorism, which is all about how learning happens through conditioning--positive or negative reinforcement. In short, if you reward “good” behavior and punish “bad” behavior, children learn what’s appropriate or not. But this theory is missing three important concepts.
Today is Time-In Tuesday and we’re talking about the idea of Time-in, both for you and your child, instead of time-out and why that matters.
Visit my website for more https://consciouslyparenting.com.
Paying attention to our own experience--our thoughts, our felt experience, and what it feels like in your body, is a big part of mindfulness. It’s how we connect to ourselves, how we know what we need. Many people are disconnected from their bodies, from their needs, and from the needs of others.
Our first step towards mindfulness is to become more aware of ourselves, the feelings in our bodies, the stories we make up about the things that happen, and figuring out what we need. Healing can’t happen without self-awareness, so it is a huge part of All Relationships Can Heal. Today, Rebecca shares a story about personal space and mindfulness.
Visit my website for more https://consciouslyparenting.com/.
In our second episode, Rebecca Thompson Hitt shares the story of her own journey as a parent through her own healing stories. From her journey parenting her first son with memories of sitting on the floor in Barnes and Noble reading conflicting parenting books, to the loss of her newborn son from a fatal birth defect. And then learning what healing really looks like in her own life and eventually in the lives of families around the world through Healing Story Circles. Join us for this taste of the story behind the stories on the All Relationships Can Heal Podcast!
Visit my website for more https://consciouslyparenting.com.
All Relationships Can Heal. It’s a bold statement, but one that I stand behind.
I would argue that most people have a relationship that needs some healing balm. Whether the relationship is with a child, a partner (coupled now or not), your parents, a friend, or your relationship with yourself. I’ve dedicated my life’s work to helping families to do the healing work to make their lives better, to empower them to create relationships that work, that are emotionally healthy, and to finish what is unfinished in whatever way is possible.
In order to really understand healing relationships, we need to understand some things about attachment, about trauma and overwhelming events, and their impact on our bodies and our lives. We need to understand the idea of story - the one that we tell, the one in our bodies and the ones that help us to heal, grow, and repair our connections and disconnections. We literally need one another to survive and when a relationship isn’t working, we need tools, information and support to make it better. We don’t need lectures.
We need stories of growth and healing, stories to inspire us and help us to understand the path back to connection. And that’s what this podcast is all about. In our first episode, you’ll get an introduction to the healing of relationships and what you can expect in our podcast!
Visit my website for more https://consciouslyparenting.com/podcasts/.