Living Out Podcast: Recent Episodes
Living Out
Many Christians love their LGBT friends and want to engage well with issues of sexuality and identity, but aren’t sure how to do it. Join the Living Out team and guests as they tackle some of the most frequently asked questions and seek to navigate the choppy cultural waters with compassion and clarity. If you’re interested in a Christian perspective on homosexuality and want to hear real stories from same-sex attracted Christians, this is the podcast for you. Hosted by Anne Witton and Ed Shaw. Produced by Anne Witton.
Ashleigh is joined by our old friend Nat and our new friend Angela to talk about what leaving a same-sex relationship was like for them.
Whether you’re considering leaving a same-sex relationship in order to follow Jesus, or you’re wanting to support someone in that situation, this conversation has something for you.
Resources recommended and related
- Nat and Matt: Mixed-Orientation Marriage (Different Stories #9), Living Out Podcast
- Support to Grieve, Anne Witton
- What's Wrong With a Permanent, Faithful, Stable Same-Sex Sexual Relationship?, Ed Shaw
- What If a Gay, Married Couple, With Children, Become Christians?, Ed Shaw
Ed and Adam are joined by our new friend Tom to talk about the times when their experiences of same-sex attraction make them want to give up on their faith. What keeps them going in these times?
Resources mentioned and related
Psalms 63 and 73 (Bible Encouragements #3), Living Out Podcast
The Intimacy Deficit by Ed Shaw
Exploring the Intimacy Deficit, Living Out Podcast
Andy is joined by Jeanette and Simon to talk about whether we should expect a change in our same-sex attractions as followers of Jesus. They share ways they’ve sought change in the past, how they view it now, and how others have helped them.
Resources mentioned and related
- Living Faith
- Simon: Reconciling Sexuality, Faith and Ministry (Different Stories #1), Living Out Podcast
- Shouldn't We Expect Sexuality to Change? (Engaging Objections #6), Living Out Podcast
- 2 Corinthians 12 and Revelation 5 (Bible Encouragements #2), Living Out Podcast
- What's Good About Struggling With Same-Sex Attraction?, Anne Witton
- Getting God’s Perspective by Andrew Bunt
- Resources on Conversion Therapy, Living Out Team
Andrew is joined by Jeanette and Jon to share their stories of same-sex attraction and faith. They’re honest about their experiences of loneliness, talk about how singleness and childlessness can come with grief as well as joys, and consider what we can do about loneliness.
Resources mentioned and related
- Jeanette’s story and writing
- Kaleidoscope
- Friendship and Intimacy (Friendship #3), Living Out Podcast
- Strengthening Friendships (Friendship #5), Living Out Podcast
- Youth Leader Network
- Are We Just Playing at Being Family?, Ashleigh Hull
- More Living Out resources about loneliness
Andrew is joined by our old friend Dan and our new friend Ruth as they share their stories of same-sex attraction and talk all about the realities of sexual temptation.
What helps us to avoid temptation? What about when we give in to it? And what can we learn from how Jesus faced temptation?
Resources mentioned & related
- Meet the Authors #21 - Dan Reid
- I Used to Identify As a Sinner. Now I’m Learning Who I Really Am., Dan Reid
- Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing, by Jay Stringer (see our book review here and listen to Jay on an episode of ‘The One Conversation’ podcast here)
- How Can I Find Freedom from the Weight of Sexual Sin?, Dan Reid
- Handling Sexual Urges (Part 1), Jo Johnson
- Handling Sexual Urges (Part 2), Jo Johnson
- The Desires That Tempt You May Not Be Your Deepest Desires, Andrew Bunt
- What Are Your Desires Telling You? (Could It Be Something Different Than You Think?), Amy Riordan
- Getting God’s Perspective by Andrew Bunt
Coming out (sharing with someone about your experience of sexuality) is not always easy, whether you're the person sharing or the one hearing about it.
Laura and Paul join Ashleigh to talk about what coming out was like for them. We hear about the first people they told, the things that have been helpful for them in these conversations, and what it's like to share so publicly about such a personal experience. Paul also shares some thoughts on doing all of this when you're married.
Resources mentioned & related
- Laura: Good Friendship (Different Stories #6)
- Paul: Responding to Our Desires (Different Stories #5)
- Should All Same-Sex Attracted Christians Come Out?, Vaughan Roberts
- Coming Out – Some Advice for Christians, Andrew Bunt
- How Should I Respond When a Christian Comes Out to Me?, The Living Out Team
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As Christians who experience same-sex attraction, how can we flourish? In this series we'll talk about coming out, answering people's questions, feeling alone, and more.
Whether you experience same-sex attraction yourself or you want to support someone who does, this series will have something to comfort, challenge and encourage you.
This episode contains discussion of childhood sexual abuse, depression, and suicidal thoughts.
Jo tells us about her favourite episode from our back catalogue - one that shows how God sometimes breaks into our lives in the most unlikely circumstances. Robert was sexually abused by a teacher at school, forced into becoming a Christian, and went on to marry a woman and lead a church – all while being same-sex attracted and not truly knowing Jesus. From there things fell apart, and Robert began living as an out gay man. Only later would he come to know the love of God for the first time, and give his life to Christ.
Resources mentioned and related
If you’re affected by any of the issues raised in this episode, please reach out to someone you trust. In the UK, you can also contact Samaritans for support – call 116 123 free, 24 hours a day.
Samaritans also provide a full list of organisations you can contact for advice on a range of issues, including abuse and mental health. You can find that here.
Andy tells us about his favourite episode from our back catalogue. For many people, same-sex attraction can feel very isolating. Ed, Andy and Anne discuss how, over time, they felt less alone and were able to get support from friends and church.
We share some advice for those just becoming aware of their sexualities and wanting support, and we look at helpful things churches can do.
And we also learn about Ed's imaginary wife.
Resources mentioned
- Washed and Waiting by Wesley Hill
- True Freedom Trust
- Living Out stories
- Should A Church Start a Group for Same-Sex Attracted Members? Charlie Skrine
- What Does Good Pastoral Support Look Like? (Part 1) Andy Robinson
- What Does Good Pastoral Support Look Like? (Part 2) Andy Robinson
- What Does Good Pastoral Support Look Like? (Part 3) Andy Robinson
- Living Out Church Audit
Ashleigh tells us about her favourite episode from our back catalogue. In the last of our series going through the missteps identified in The Plausibility Problem by Ed Shaw, we discussed whether suffering can and should be avoided. We shared our own painful experiences and examined why some argue that the suffering of celibate same-sex attracted Christians is a reason to abandon traditional biblical teaching on sexual ethics.
We went on to show that suffering is a normal part of following Jesus, whether you're gay or straight, single or married. We looked at some of the reasons why God allows us to suffer and the joys and benefits that we receive precisely because we suffer.
We also looked at practical things that help us when we're struggling and ways that we can use our pain to love and serve others.
Resources mentioned and related
- The Plausibility Problem Ed Shaw
- The Plausibility Problem: A Review Steve Ward
- Support to Grieve Anne Witton
- You Only Live Once. Really? Adam Curtis
- Kitchen Floors and Gethsemane Andy Robinson
- What's Good About Struggling With Same-sex Attraction? Anne Witton
- Childlessness Anne Witton
- Anne and Abby on Their Community House Anne Witton
- Sharing Life Together Anne Witton
- Confronting Christianity Rebecca McLaughlin
- Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy Mark Vroegop
It can be so painful when we disagree with those we love about this. What do we do when a friend changes their mind on faith and sexuality, or when our church changes its position on same-sex marriage? Does 1 Corinthians 5 contain any wisdom that we can apply here? Ashleigh, Ed and Andrew talk it through.
Resources mentioned and related
- Healthy Spirituality | Holiness and Church Discipline | James Lawrence | 1 Corinthians 5
- The Art of Disagreeing: How to Keep Calm and Stay Friends in Hard Conversations by Gavin Ortlund
- Does the Bible Really Condemn Loving Same-Sex Relationships? (Engaging Objections #2), Living Out Podcast
- Why Can't Christians Agree to Disagree?, Sam Allberry
- How Important Is All This? (Explore Questions #6), Living Out Podcast
- How Can We Have Good Discussions With Christians Who Disagree With Us on Sexuality?, Andrew Goddard
Can sexuality change? Should we seek to change it? Andrew, Ashleigh and Adam talk it through. Adam also shares his journey towards openness to dating a woman, despite his enduring experience of same-sex attraction.
Resources mentioned and related
Research relating to sexual fluidity:
- What Does Heterosexuality Mean? Same-Sex Attraction, Behaviors, and Discomfort Among Self-identified Heterosexual Young Adults from Spain, Archives of Sexual Behaviour
- Lisa Diamond on sexual fluidity of men and women, Cornell University
- Individual fluidity of sexual identity in Stockholm County, 2010 to 2021, European Journal of Public Health
- Sexual Orientation Identity Mobility in the United Kingdom: A Research Note, Duke University Press
- Population Trends and Individual Fluidity of Sexual Identity Among Stockholm County Residents, JAMA Network
- Who Counts as Sexually Fluid? Comparing Four Different Types of Sexual Fluidity in Women, Archives of Sexual Behaviour
- Sexual Identity Fluidity Among Sexual Minorities: Gender Differences in Determinants of Fluidity and Health-Related Outcomes, Journal of Homosexuality
Stories of mixed-orientation marriage:
- Sean’s story
- Katherine: The Power and Beauty of Stories (Different Stories #3), Living Out Podcast
- Paul: Responding to Our Desires (Different Stories #5), Living Out Podcast
- Nat and Matt: Mixed-Orientation Marriage (Different Stories #9), Living Out Podcast
Other resources:
- Resources on Conversion Therapy
- Is Same-sex Attraction Inherently Sinful? (Questions No One Wants To Answer #4), Living Out Podcast
- Is Exorcism Ever An Appropriate Response to Same-Sex Attraction?, Andy Robinson
- Born Again This Way by Rachel Gilson
- Gay Girl, Good God by Jackie Hill Perry
- An Impossible Marriage by Laurie & Matt Krieg
- And if this series is raising more questions than it answers, ask us those questions here!
Ashleigh, Adam and Andy explore what real love is, and consider how we can align ourselves to Scripture’s truth in a world that preaches something different.
We also think about the question, 'My friend is so much happier now that they’re in a same-sex relationship – isn't that a good thing?'
Resources mentioned and related
- Does the Bible Affirm Same-Sex Relationships?: Examining 10 Claims about Scripture and Sexuality by Rebecca McLaughlin – in particular Chapter 10, 'A God of Love Can’t Be Against Relationships of Love'
- Friendship, Living Out Podcast series
- What Is It Teaching You?, Ashleigh Hull
- A Better Love edited by Ed Shaw
- Misstep 5 - 'Sex is where true intimacy is found' (The Plausibility Problem #5), Living Out Podcast
- And if this series is raising more questions than it answers, ask us those questions here!
Is the Bible’s teaching unjust or unfair to same-sex attracted Christians like us? Andrew, Ed and Andy talk through the intellectual and the emotional sides of this, considering how this objection has looked for us personally as well as how we might respond to it.
Resources mentioned and related
- Dominion: The Making of the Western Mind by Tom Holland
- The Air We Breathe: How We All Came to Believe in Freedom, Kindness, Progress, and Equality by Glen Scrivener
- Purposeful Sexuality by Ed Shaw
- Explore Questions: Isn’t God Being Unfair?
- Isn’t God Being Unfair? (Explore Questions #4), Living Out Podcast
- Is Same-Sex Marriage An Issue of Equality?, Andrew Bunt
- And if this series is raising more questions than it answers, ask us those questions here!
How has this view harmed us, or people around us? Has it done us any good? And does it do the ultimate harm of keeping people from coming to know Jesus?
Andy, Ashleigh and Adam explore the harm and the good of the traditional Christian sexual ethic.
Resources mentioned and related
- Isn’t the Christian Sexual Ethic Harmful and Repressive? (Explore Questions #2), Living Out Podcast
- Does Christian Teaching Cause LGBT Mental Health Problems? (Questions No One Wants To Answer #5), Living Out Podcast
- Podcast Series: The Plausibility Problem, Living Out Podcast
- Resources on Conversion Therapy
- Kaleidoscope
- Does allowing same-sex marriage result in church decline? Here's what the numbers show, Ian Paul
- UK Church Decline and Progressive Ideology, John Hayward
- The Case Against the Sexual Revolution by Louise Perry
- And if this series is raising more questions than it answers, ask us those questions here!
In this special episode, featuring the occasional serious answer and several shameless plugs, the Living Out team reflect on 2025 and look ahead to 2026. We hope you enjoy seeing in the new year with us!
The questions
- What’s one moment in 2025 that you’re grateful for?
- What habit or practice have you found helpful in the last year?
- Who has inspired you this year?
- What book, film, or song has shaped your thinking?
- What’s one challenge that you overcame this year, or something brave that you did?
- Describe your faith journey in 2025 in one word.
- What has surprised you about yourself this year?
- What’s one hope or goal you have for 2026?
Resources mentioned and related
- Kaleidoscope
- The Intimacy Deficit by Ed Shaw
- Unfollow by Megan Phelps-Roper
- The Witch Trials of J.K. Rowling
- John Piper’s series on Hebrews
- John Piper’s series on Romans
- The Psalms: A Christ-Centered Commentary by Christopher Ash
- The Horse and His Boy by C. S. Lewis
- The Last Battle by C. S. Lewis
- Pray Without Ceasing by Wendell Berry (found in Fidelity: Five Stories)
- The ‘film with some kind of musical theme’ that Andy considers himself brave for enduring
Does the Bible actually prohibit same-sex sexual relationships? And if it does, are those prohibitions binding on us today?
Ashleigh, Andy and Andrew talk through some of the arguments here, the things we can agree or empathise with in those arguments, and why ultimately we believe in the historic Christian sexual ethic.
Resources mentioned and related
- Did Jesus Affirm Same-Sex Sexual Relationships?, Andrew Bunt
- People to be Loved: Why Homosexuality is Not Just an Issue by Preston Sprinkle
- Does the Bible Support Same-Sex Marriage?: 21 Conversations From a Historically Christian View by Preston Sprinkle
- Why Do Christians Trust the Bible?, Andrew Bunt
- Can Christians Trust What the Bible Says on the Topic of Sex?, Andrew Bunt
- Does the Bible Affirm Same-Sex Relationships?: Examining 10 Claims about Scripture and Sexuality by Rebecca McLaughlin
- What Does Sexuality Have to Do With the Gospel?, Ashleigh Hull
- And if this series is raising more questions than it answers, ask us those questions here!
Why is it important to engage with objections and disagreement? Can we actually do that while still loving people? Andrew is joined by Preston Sprinkle (Centre for Faith, Sexuality and Gender) and Katherine Brown (Evangelical Alliance) to chat about these questions.
In the second half of the episode, they talk through some principles for having fruitful conversations from Preston’s book Does the Bible Support Same-Sex Marriage?
Resources mentioned and related
- Preston’s podcast, Theology in the Raw
- Andrew's conversation with Charlie Bell on Premier Unbelievable?
- Katherine’s story
- Does the Bible Support Same-Sex Marriage?by Preston Sprinkle (in particular see Ch1, ‘Foundation 1: How to Have a Fruitful Conversation’)
- Engaging With LGBT Mental Health, Andrew Bunt
- The Righteous Mind by Jonathan Haidt. And some things on our website engaging with Haidt's work:
- How We Determine What is Good (and How That Helps Us Communicate Better), Ed Shaw
- Understanding Youth Culture feat. Mike Snowdon (Youth Leaders' Crash Course #1)
- Think Again by Adam Grant
- The Art of Disagreeing by Gavin Ortlund
- And if this series is raising more questions than it answers, ask us those questions here!
When people hear that Living Out - a group of same-sex attracted Christians - believe that sex is reserved for the marriage of a man and a woman, they tend to have questions...
How does our intimacy (or lack of intimacy) with creation impact our intimacy with God, ourselves and others? Will the sea be warmer in the new creation? And when's the Intimacy Deficit merch dropping? Ed and Andy are joined by Anne to answer all the important questions.
Resources mentioned and related
- The Intimacy Deficit by Ed Shaw
- God of All Things: Rediscovering the Sacred in an Everyday World by Andrew Wilson
- Brick
- Habitica
- iNaturalist
- Merlin
- Keswick Convention talks on the intimacy deficit
Ed and Jo are joined by Jez Field to talk about intimacy with others. What are the catalysts for this kind of intimacy? What are some of the barriers to it? And do women need intimate friendships more than men do?
Resources mentioned and related
- The Intimacy Deficit by Ed Shaw
- Jez’s review of The Intimacy Deficit
- Billy No-Mates: How I Realised Men Have a Friendship Problem by Max Dickins
- More from Jez on the Living Out website
- Keswick Convention talks on the intimacy deficit
- Living Out podcast series on Friendship (episode 1 here)
Intimacy with yourself – feeling comfortable in your own skin – being able to be honest with yourself about yourself. How do we grow in this? Isn’t it all a bit narcissistic and unChristian? How does it connect to intimacy with God and with others? Ed, Andrew and Jeanette talk it through.
Resources mentioned and related
- The Intimacy Deficit by Ed Shaw
- Keswick Convention talks on the intimacy deficit
- Hear Jeanette’s story, in 5 minutes or in 30 minutes
- Jeanette’s latest book, ‘Betrothed: wooed by a greater love’
Ed and Adam chat with our guest Andrew Nicholls. What do we mean when we talk about intimacy with God? How do we experience it? And what gets in the way?
Resources mentioned and related
- The Intimacy Deficit Ed Shaw
- Keswick Convention talks on the intimacy deficit
- Delight Podcast Episode 2: Meditation – dwelling on God’s truth
In the first episode of our new series, Jo and Ashleigh quiz Ed on what the intimacy deficit is, why he’s written a book about it, where he struggles with intimacy himself – and, of course, whether he should get a dog.
Resources mentioned and related
- The Intimacy Deficit Ed Shaw
- Have You Been Intimate with Anyone Recently? Andrew Bunt
- Keswick Convention talks on the intimacy deficit
- Kaleidoscope
Ed's recent book, The Intimacy Deficit, helps us to think about our connection with God, ourselves, others, and creation. In this series we want to expand on the ideas in Ed’s book, involving more voices in the conversation, and hopefully helping all of us to deepen our experiences of intimacy.
Adam is joined by Katherine Brown from the Evangelical Alliance and Ben Thomas from OCCA. Katherine and Ben were both part of the LGBT community when they responded to the gospel, and in their roles now they engage in conversations with non Christians and new Christians about all sorts of faith questions.
In the last episode of this series, we consider your questions on evangelism. Is it possible to evangelise to the LGBT community? How can we support friends in a same sex marriage? And what about the gay couple with kids who become Christians?
Resources mentioned and related
- Katherine’s story
- Ben’s story
- The Case Against the Sexual Revolution by Louise Perry
- The Sexual Revolution Has Failed — Now Try CHURCH || Louise Perry Full Interview Speak Life Podcast
- Challenges to Friendship (Friendship #6)
- What If a Gay, Married Couple, With Children, Become Christians? Ed Shaw
- Evangelical Alliance
- OCCA
Jennifer Kvamme and Robin Barfield are both parents and authors of books that help us engage with our teens in conversations about sexuality. In this episode they join Andrew to answer your questions on parenting teenagers. How can we love and support young people to keep looking to Jesus for the future? What is the best way to talk to young people about singleness being a gift from God? How do we parent a same-sex attracted teen?
Resources mentioned and related
- More to the Story: Deep Answers to Real Questions on Attraction, Identity, and Relationships Jennifer Kvamme
- Young People and Pornography: Understanding and Responding Pastorally Robin Barfield
- Everyday Dadding podcast
- Chasing Love Sean McDowell
- Applying The Handbrake: A Teenage Boy's Honest Account About God And Porn Ben Dyer
- Gay Girl, Good God: The Story of Who I Was and Who God Has Always Been Jackie Hill Perry
- A Change of Affection: A Gay Man’s Incredible Story of Redemption Becket Cook
- Born Again This Way: Coming Out, Coming to Faith, and What Comes Next Rachel Gilson
- The Holy Sexuality Project
- ‘Today's Parenting Challenges Part 2’, Seminar from Keswick 2024
- Kaleidoscope
We’re joined by Rachel Gilson – author of Parenting Without Panic in an LGBT Affirming World – to answer your questions on parenting younger children. What are some easy ways into conversations about sex, sexuality and what God says? How can parents and youth leaders work together in having these conversations? Should you send your children to Christian schools, and what influence is the internet having on their experience of and learning about sexuality?
Resources mentioned and related
- Parenting Without Panic in an LGBT Affirming WorldRachel Gilson
- Born Again This Way Rachel Gilson
- Kaleidoscope
- Raising Confident Kids in a Confusing WorldEd Drew
- Start Talking to Your Kids about Sex: A Practical Guide for CatholicsJulia Sadusky
- God's Signpost: How Marriage Points Us to God's Love Sam Allberry (picture book for children)
- God's Go-Togethers: A Celebration of God's Design for PeopleSam Allberry (picture book for children)
- Keswick 2024 seminar – Today’s Parenting Challenges: Sexuality and Gender
- A Parent’s Guide to Social Media Axis
- A Parent’s Guide to Smartphones Axis
- A Parent’s Guide to Influencers Axis
7-13 July is the week of visibility for non-monogamy, so we’ve got a special episode for you diving into polyamory and consensual non-monogamy. What do these kinds of relationships look like? What are the trends that are leading to them being normalised? Why should we care and how should we respond as Christians?
We quiz Andrew Bunt, who’s written a booklet on the topic called Three or More, and think this all through together.
Resources mentioned and related
- Three or More Andrew Bunt
- What About Old Testament Polygamy? Andrew Bunt
- Are You Ready for the Challenge of Polyamory? Andrew Bunt
How do we as same-sex attracted people navigate close friendships with the same sex? How about opposite-sex friendships? How can you best love a sibling who is in a same-sex relationship? And how do you keep a healthy relationship with those you used to have a sexual relationship with?
Join Ashleigh, Ed and Dan as they share their experience of doing friendship as same-sex attracted Christians. Thank you for your excellent questions!
Resources mentioned and related
- Spring 1 – 2012
- Mass in B Minor
- Don’t Blame Me
- Friendship and Intimacy (Friendship #3)
- In Praise of Awkward Conversations Andrew Bunt
- Space at the Table: A Review Ed Shaw
- Listening Carefully and in Full Andrew Bunt
- Support to Grieve Anne Witton
In this episode, we’re answering your questions on church, covering topics such as: unhelpful messages churches transmit and more positive alternatives; welcoming and including people while sticking to a biblical sexual ethic; supporting those who have had a negative experience of conversion therapy; and finding contentment in singleness in your 40s. Below are suggestions of just some of the resources which provide more answers to these questions.
Resources mentioned and related
- Don’t Miss the Role Models Andrew Bunt
- What Do We Celebrate? Anne Witton
- A Beautiful Mess Ed Shaw
- What the Church Needs to Get Right Andy Robinson
- What Does it Mean to be a Truly Inclusive Church? Anne Witton
- Listening Carefully and in Full Andrew Bunt
- Does Living Out Support ‘Gay Cure’ or ‘Reparative Therapy’? Ed Shaw
- Podcast Series: The Plausibility Problem
- The Intimacy Deficit by Ed Shaw
In the first of our series answering the questions our listeners have submitted, we’re thinking about experiencing same-sex attraction. How do we handle sexual temptation? How do keep trusting God if we have a deep but unfulfilled desire to be married? What are some of the gifts and blessings of being single and same-sex attracted? And much more!
Resources mentioned and related
- What Is It Teaching You? Ashleigh Hull
- Unwanted by Jay Stringer
- Overcoming Unwanted Sexual Behavior featuring Jay Stringer
- Hey Single Christian. Your Celibacy is Uniquely Meaningful Dani Treweek
- True Freedom Trust
- Single, Gay, Christian by Greg Coles
- The Plausibility Problem by Ed Shaw
- The Intimacy Deficit by Ed Shaw
- Gay Girl, Good God by Jackie Hill Perry
- A War of Loves by David Bennett
- Born Again This Way by Rachel Gilson
- Living in a Gray World by Preston Sprinkle
We're back with a new series, and this time we're answering YOUR questions. You submitted so many good questions when we asked for them recently, that they've filled a whole series! We'll be chatting about everything from experiencing same-sex attraction, to evangelism and parenting. We're excited, and hope you are too!
Welcome to the Living Out Podcast - helping people, churches and society talk about faith and sexuality. Join us to hear about life as a same-sex attracted or gay Christian, and God's good news on sexuality for every single one of us.
Let’s get practical: what does all this friendship stuff look like in real life? We’ve heard all sorts of wisdom from our guests in this series, on everything from how Jesus models friendship, to the need for vulnerability, and navigating change in friendships. In this final episode, we sit down with a couple more of our friends for a chat about what that’s looked like in our own lives. We pray you find it helpful!
Resources mentioned and related
- The Best of Friends Phil Knox
- IVP Books – Use code LIVINGOUT20 for 20% off ebooks by Ed Shaw and Andrew Bunt
- Jubilee+
Friendships bring with them all kinds of blessings, but how do we handle the challenges that also come with them? How should we respond to changes in circumstances, for example when friends move away? Being vulnerable is so important for building friendships, but isn’t it risky? And how can we speak and receive hard truths when we do things which hurt each other?
We’re joined by Kevin Morris, host of the Professional Third Wheel podcast, to talk through some of the challenges of friendship and share our experience of how to navigate them.
Resources mentioned and related
- Professional Third Wheel Podcast
- In Praise of Awkward Conversations Andrew Bunt
- Why I’m Glad My Friendships Are Being Disrupted Andrew Bunt
- A Beautiful Mess Ed Shaw
- Why I Need My Single Friends Alison Bolton
For our very special 100th podcast episode, we’re joined by John Wyatt – author of Transforming Friendship – to talk about how we can foster healthy intergenerational friendships, what friendship looks like at different stages of life, and how we can go about strengthening existing friendships.
There’s also the chance to enter our 100th podcast episode giveaway, and if you’re desperate to hear about Thomas the Tank Engine, The Musical, then we bring you good news of great joy: it made it into our first ever podcast episode, when we heard from our very own Andrew Bunt about his story of faith and sexuality. You can find the link for that and lots of other useful resources below.
Resources mentioned and related
- Enter our 100th podcast episode giveaway (closes 10th April 2025)
- Youth Leaders’ Crash Course
- Misstep 9 - 'Suffering is to be avoided' (The Plausibility Problem #9)
- Imperfect Reflections Kirsten Birkett
- Meet the Authors #1 – Andrew Bunt
- Friendship and Intimacy (Friendship #3)
- Transforming Friendship John Wyatt
- Transforming Friendship: A Review Ed Shaw
- Same-sex attraction and friendship in church, with Ed Shaw
So far in this series we’ve talked about why we need friendships and the difference Jesus makes to them, but what does that look like in reality? Adam and Ashleigh each sit down with a friend to talk about how their friendship has brought them closer to God and taught them more about him, and share their reflections on what has helped their friendships to thrive. Why not share this episode with a friend and let them know how much you appreciate them?
Resources mentioned and related
- The Radiant Dawn Tom Parsons
- From Glory Into Glory Tom Parsons
- Three or More Andrew Bunt
- Friendship and Intimacy (Friendship #3)
Isn’t intimacy all about sex? How and why should we pursue intimacy in our friendships? We’re joined by Katherine (Kaleidoscope contributor and part of the Being Human team at the Evangelical Alliance) for a conversation about different kinds of intimacy, how we can practically cultivate deeper and more intimate friendships, and how to navigate some of the risks inherent to pursuing intimacy in friendships.
Resources mentioned and related
- Kaleidoscope
- Relationships Matter Evangelical Alliance
- Have You Been Intimate With Anyone Recently? Andrew Bunt
- Emotional Dependency Andrew Bunt
- Simon: Intimacy and Emotional Dependency (Different Stories #4)
- In Praise of Awkward Conversations Andrew Bunt
- Navigating Physical Touch Andrew Bunt
- Made for Friendship Drew Hunter
- Upcoming Living Out Events
- Stop Looking for the Perfect Friend Andrew Bunt
- Power in the Mundane Andrew Bunt
How does being friends with Jesus change the way we do friendship, with Christians and non-Christians? What are the most encouraging and challenging things about the friendship Jesus offers us? And how do we practically go about addressing the friendship deficit in our own lives, while having realistic expectations of ourselves and our friends?
We’re joined by Vaughan Roberts for a challenging, encouraging and liberating conversation about the joys and limits of human friendship, and how knowing Jesus as our friend transforms our view of and approach to friendships. Vaughan is the rector of St Ebbe’s church in Oxford and author of True Friendship.
Resources mentioned and related
- True Friendship Vaughan Roberts
- Emotional Dependency: A Threat to Close Friendships Lori Thorkelson Rentzel
- Emotional Dependency Andrew Bunt
- A Little Life Hanya Yanagihara
- The Lord of the Rings J R R Tolkien
- Wicked
- Wendell Berry short stories and novels
- Politics, Poverty and Belief: A Political Memoir Frank Field
How can we be friends with God? What does that actually look like in daily life? Does being friends with God mean we don't need human friends?
With Phil Knox - evangelist, missiologist and author of 'The Best of Friends' - we're kicking off our series on friendship thinking about what friendship is, why it matters, and some top tips for cultivating friendships with God and with other people.
Resources mentioned and related
- Evangelical Alliance
- The Best of Friends Phil Nox
- Billy No Mates Max Dickins
- The Four Loves C. S. Lewis
- Friends Robin Dunbar
- True Friendship Vaughan Roberts (read our review here)
- Spiritual Friendship Aelred
- Crossing to Safety Wallace Stegner
- Transforming Friendship John Wyatt (read our review here)
- Jesus on Friendship Andrew Bunt
- Jesus’s Greatest Miracle Andrew Bunt
- Kaleidoscope
Friendship. We all need it, and it's especially valuable in making the single life plausible. But how do we do it well? How can we foster healthy intimacy in friendship? What example does Jesus give us? All this and more to come in our new podcast series - stay tuned!
Who’s the Tiny Tim of the Living Out staff team? And the Scrooge? How can we keep going as single people over Christmas and New Year, and look out for the single people around us?
All this and more in our (slightly chaotic) podcast Christmas Special!
Resources mentioned and related
- The Loneliest Day of the Year Dani Treweek
- God Gets You Andrew Bunt
- Coming Home for Christmas Dan Reid
- A Poetic Gift This Christmas Ed Shaw
James, a youth leader and Kaleidoscope contributor, shares his experience of trying out the series with some of his youth group, including what they particularly enjoyed about the series.
We also hear from Eleanor, who tells her story in episode 3 of Kaleidoscope, about some of the blessings of singleness, her reflections on how the Church has handled the wider issue of sexuality, and why she as a church leader is excited about Kaleidoscope.
Finally, Adam tells us about his experience of faith and sexuality as a teenager, what’s changed in our culture and in the Church for young people growing up today, and what stands out to him about Kaleidoscope.
Resources mentioned and related
- Kaleidoscope
- What I Would Tell My Teenage Self About Singleness Adam Curtis
- True Freedom Trust
- Born Again This Way Rachel Gilson
- A War of Loves David Bennett
- Is God Anti-gay? Sam Allberry
- Meet the Authors #2 – Adam Curtis
We speak to two parents, Jo and Claire, about the world their children are growing up in and their experience of talking to them about sexuality, gender and faith. They share how their churches have tackled these issues so far, and why they’re excited about Kaleidoscope.
We also hear from Sean – a parent, church leader, and someone who experiences same-sex attraction – about the difference Kaleidoscope would have made for him as a teenager and how he hopes it will help start good conversations on these big topics.
Resources mentioned and related
- Kaleidoscope
- What I Wish I Was Told about Sex When I Was a Teenager Ed Shaw
What is Kaleidoscope? Why have we made it? Andrew and Ashleigh, our Emerging Generations team, share their hopes for the series, and catch up with two of the people who contributed to it.
Katherine tells us what conversations about sexuality were like for her growing up, and why she’s excited for Kaleidoscope giving space for more open conversations in churches. And Ben shares his thoughts on how we can have those conversations well, with some particular tips for youth leaders.
Resources mentioned and related
- Kaleidoscope
- Katherine: The Power and Beauty of Stories (Different Stories #3)
- Christ and the Culture Wars Ben Chang
- A Better Story Glynn Harrison
As a teenager, Nat was fascinated by God and got confirmed. But when she came out as a lesbian at 16, she was met with rejection from her peers and a Christian school teacher. At university, she joined the LGBT society and remained angry at God and at Christians for the way she’d been treated.
But then she met Matt when she started working, and his reaction to her story was different. They tell the story of how they met, how Nat gave her life to Jesus, how they started dating, and share some of the benefits and challenges of their mixed-orientation marriage.
Resources mentioned and related
- God Healed My Experience of Rejection Nat
- Sean and Gaby’s Story
This episode contains a reference to self-harm.
This episode contains discussion of childhood sexual abuse, depression, and suicidal thoughts.
Sometimes God breaks into our lives in the most unlikely circumstances. Robert was sexually abused by a teacher at school, forced into becoming a Christian, and went on to marry a woman and lead a church – all while being same-sex attracted and not truly knowing Jesus. From there things fell apart, and Robert began living as an out gay man. Only later would he come to know the love of God for the first time, and give his life to Christ.
Resources mentioned and related
If you’re affected by any of the issues raised in this episode, please reach out to someone you trust. In the UK, you can also contact Samaritans for support – call 116 123 free, 24 hours a day.
Samaritans also provide a full list of organisations you can contact for advice on a range of issues, including abuse and mental health. You can find that here.
As a gay teenager, David felt rejected by the Church and couldn’t see a plausible way for him to be a Christian. He became an activist set on destroying Christianity and opposing it at every turn. But his time at university found him looking for something deeper, eventually leading to an unlikely encounter with Jesus and the love of God.
Now a theologian, David shares how his research has helped him see that living a single and celibate life can not only be a way to flourish, but also to subvert and challenge the ideas of the society around us, pointing people to Jesus, our subversive saviour.
Resources mentioned and related:
- A War of Loves David Bennett
- A War of Loves: A Review Stuart Ferguson
- David’s Story Video
- Kaleidoscope
Looking for purpose and meaning at medical school, Laura spoke to a Christian friend who invited her to church. She decided to put her trust in Jesus, and it was only several years later she realised she was same-sex attracted. We chat with Laura about how she’s found trusting that God’s ways are good since then, and why good friendships are so important as she seeks to follow Jesus. She shares how her friendships have sometimes been complicated by attraction or emotional dependency, and some of the things God has taught her about friendship along the way.
Resources mentioned and related
- Simon: Intimacy and Emotional Dependency (Different Stories #4)
- Adopt An Aunt Ed Shaw
- Transforming Friendship: A Review Ed Shaw
- True Friendship Vaughan Roberts
- Made for Friendship Drew Hunter
Paul tells us how he came to faith as a teenager, and how a combination of clear teaching and sharing with good friends has helped him navigate same-sex attraction and stay faithful to Jesus. Paul also shares how he unexpectedly fell in love with his now wife, and his advice for any same-sex attracted Christians considering an opposite-sex marriage.
We also chat about how we respond to our desires. Is it harmful to deny ourselves things we desire? How do we know which desires are good to act on and which aren’t? What are the different lenses we might look at those questions through and how do they influence our approach?
Resources mentioned and related
- Strong Desires and Deep Desires Andrew Bunt
- What Are Your Desires Telling You? Amy Riordan
- You Are Being Lied To Andrew Bunt
- Handling Sexual Urges (Part 1) Jo Johnson
We chat to Simon about how understanding God’s bigger purposes for his people has helped fuel his excitement for living God’s way when it comes to sexuality. Simon tells us how getting involved in True Freedom Trust helped him find a supportive community where he could be more open about his sexuality, having not come out to anyone until his early 20s.
Simon also shares his experience of emotional dependency and what God has taught him about healthy relationships and intimacy. We talk about loneliness, singleness and forming friendships with deeper commitment.
Resources mentioned and related
- True Freedom Trust
- Body Matters in Genesis Andrew Bunt
- Relationships: A Mess Worth Making Paul David Tripp
Katherine shares her story of dating a girl as a teenager, and noticing how Jesus genuinely transformed the lives of Christians she knew. As she opened up the Bible for herself and got to know and love Jesus, Katherine tells us how she accepted the invitation to follow him in all areas of her life, including with her sexuality.
We also chat to Katherine about how she ended up marrying a man, and why she thinks it's so important that we share our stories, particularly as we seek to connect with the younger generation and reach them with the good news.
Resources mentioned and related
- Evangelical Alliance
- The Power of Stories for a Post-Truth Generation Katherine
- Three or More: Reflections on Polyamory and Consensual Non-Monogamy Andrew Bunt
Ryan shares his story of coming out as a teenager, coming to faith at university, and the gradual, ongoing process of reconciling his faith and sexuality. He unpacks some of the key things God has taught him along the way, including why following Jesus means gaining so much more than you lose, and why living a single and celibate life isn't a waste of your sexuality.
Simon shares his story of coming to faith and coming to terms with his sexuality. We ask him about his experience of sharing with friends about his sexuality having kept it quiet for 10 years, and some of the benefits and challenges of being same-sex attracted in ministry. Simon also shares what he would tell his younger self now, and some reflections on how much our sexuality is part of our identity.
Resources mentioned and related:
- Living Faith website
- Simon’s Substack
For our next podcast series, we're going back to our roots - hearing stories from same-sex attracted Christians about the goodness and faithfulness of God in their lives. We hope you'll join us and be encouraged! First episode coming 4th July.
What are your legal freedoms to speak on sexuality and gender at church and in the workplace? Andy and Andrew are joined by Danny Webster from the Evangelical Alliance to think through our legal freedoms when it comes to what we say and what we do on issues of sexuality and gender, both at church and in the secular workplace.
The team discuss what the law says about all this, the implications for who we employ or admit as members in our churches, the need to be clear and consistent in what we say and do, and what the future might hold.
Resources mentioned and related
- Living for Jesus at Work Evangelical Alliance
- Speak Up Evangelical Alliance
- Should a Christian Wear a Rainbow Lanyard? Ed Shaw
- Resources for Pride Month Andrew Bunt
- Church Membership and Discipline (Church Leaders #5)
How do we engage with a culture which holds such different views to us on sexuality and gender? It’s easy to feel hopeless or fearful as we engage in conversations with those around us on these sensitive issues, but in this episode Ed, Adam and Andrew help us to think about how we can do it well.
In particular, what sort of mindset or attitude should you and your church family adopt as you approach these topics? How can you equip your church family to engage with and understand our culture? How can we communicate lovingly, and how do we respond to pushback or pressure to engage with things which seem to contradict our faith?
Resources mentioned and related
- The Culture Translator Podcast Axis
- Being the Bad Guys Stephen McAlpine
- The Ultimate Heartstopper Andrew Bunt
- What Young People Are Hearing Andrew Bunt
- Do We Have To? Ashleigh Hull
- Questioning Evangelism Randy Newman
- Listening Carefully and in Full Andrew Bunt
- The Righteous Mind Jonathan Haidt
- Should a Christian Wear a Rainbow Lanyard? Ed Shaw
- Humility in Pride Andrew Bunt
- Living Out Webinar for Church Leaders (13 June 2024)
How as churches can we best engage and help the next generation on the issue of sexuality? It can be an intimidating topic to tackle, but Andy, Ashleigh and Andrew encourage us that young people need the gospel as much as anyone else, and that it speaks good news into their big questions and concerns on sexuality and gender.
The team also offer some practical wisdom on how we as church families can all play our part in proclaiming and living out the good news, as we navigate an issue which presents big challenges but also big opportunities to connect the next generation with the gospel.
Resources mentioned and related
- Start Talking to Your Kids about Sex: A Review
- How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex
- Who Am I? Faith in Kids
- Growing Up Faith in Kids
- What Do Teens Need to Hear?
- Dr. Jeff Myers on The 3 Biggest Reasons Why Young Adults Choose Jesus The Culture Translator Podcast
- Youth Leaders’ Crash Course Podcast Series
- 21 Tips on How to Teach on Sex, Gender and Identity
- The Case Against the Sexual Revolution: A Review
- Living in a Gray World Preston Sprinkle
- Living Out Youth Leader Network and Resources
- Living Out Webinar for Church Leaders (13 June 2024)
- Limitless TV - God and Sexuality
How should we approach a conversation with a gay couple wanting to get baptised or get their child baptised? What should we bear in mind when considering who to invite to formal church membership or leadership positions? How can we be consistent and loving in disciplining people who are living unrepentantly in ways that are contrary to what the Bible teaches?
Ashleigh, Ed and Andy discuss the issues of church membership and discipline particularly in relation to sexuality and relationships, but also more broadly for anyone who is part of a church.
Resources mentioned and related
- The Living Out Church Audit
- The Courage to Warn Anne Witton
- Living Out Webinar for Church Leaders 13 June
- What Does Good Pastoral Support Look Like? Andy Robinson
What if there’s disagreement in our church on sexuality? Ashleigh, Ed and Andy discuss why this isn’t something we can just agree to disagree on, and some key principles to bear in mind as we work things out in light of that. The team then offer some practical wisdom on how to have these conversations within your church leadership team and as a whole church, including whether it’s helpful to hold events engaging with opposing views.
Resources mentioned and related
- Why Can't Christians Agree to Differ? Sam Allberry
- How Important Is All This? (Explore Questions #6)
- The Pastoral Principles – Church of England
- People to be Loved Preston Sprinkle
- Does the Bible Support Same-Sex Marriage? Preston Sprinkle
- What Does it Mean to be a Truly Inclusive Church? Anne Witton
- The Living Out Church Audit
In this episode we discuss how we can provide good pastoral care, both for those who are themselves same-sex attracted and wanting to follow Jesus, and for those who have gay family members and want to love them well.
Andy, Ed and Adam share some of the things that have helped them most as they've opened up about their sexualities, the importance of doing simple things well and listening to individuals' experiences, and how showing love to the partner of a gay relative can point them to Jesus.
Resources mentioned and related:
- What Does Good Pastoral Support Look Like?
- What Can Church Leaders Do To Help Same-sex Attracted Christians?
- How Can Our Churches Support Christians Who Experience Same-Sex Attraction?
- Space at the Table: A Review
What cultural and biblical context do we need to bear in mind as we teach on sexuality and gender? How do we handle the Bible passages which directly address homosexuality?
Ashleigh, Andy and Andrew discuss the need to approach these topics with both clarity and compassion, whether it’s best to do a one-off sermon or a whole series, and the importance of being aware of the people we’re speaking to and their experiences.
Resources mentioned and related
- Born This Way. Really? Adam Curtis
- Finding Your Best Identity Andrew Bunt
- The Unexpected Joy of Being Single Catherine Gray
- Purposeful Sexuality Ed Shaw
- What Does the Bible Say About Homosexuality?
- People to Be Loved Preston Sprinkle
- Does the Bible Support Same-Sex Marriage? Preston Sprinkle
In the first episode of this new series, we talk about why and how we should start the conversation on sexuality and gender in our churches. Andrew, Ashleigh and Ed share their experiences of what happens when you do (and don’t) discuss these topics in church, and why not being upfront on what we believe can be so unhelpful.
The team also discuss how to engage well with our culture and our own church family as we prepare to have these conversations, making sure we’re clear on what we believe and the range of views and experiences we’ll encounter as we talk about sexuality and gender.
Resources mentioned and related
- Starting the Conversation
- All of Us Strangers
- How Biblically Inclusive Is Your Church? The Living Out Church Audit
- You Will Never Be Ready
Our new series is coming soon, and in the meantime we're highlighting a couple of episodes from the vault. In our second series, we took on some of the most common questions we get asked about faith and sexuality, including this one: how important is all this?
Anne, Ed and Andy discuss whether sexuality is really a big deal. Why are Christians obsessed with sex when there seem to be so many other pressing issues? Do Christians need to fall out over sexual ethics or is it something we can just agree to disagree on? How can we respond when churches and denominations change their stance?
Resources mentioned
- Why Can't Christians Agree to Differ? Sam Allberry
- What Is Sexuality for? Ed Shaw
- Why Should the Church Be Debating Homosexuality? Ed Shaw
- How Can We Have Good Discussions With Christians Who Disagree With Us on Sexuality? Andrew Goddard
- I Will Follow Jon Guerra
While we work on our next series, we thought we'd take the opportunity to highlight a couple of episodes from the vault. In our second series, we took on some of the most common questions we get asked about faith and sexuality, including this one: isn't the Christian sexual ethic harmful and repressive?
In the first half of the show we explore ways in which Christians and churches have sadly harmed people in the areas of sex and sexuality. We talk about how silence has made it hard for people to feel safe and understood; how churches have sometimes created cultures of shame; and we discuss the damaging legacy of conversion therapy.
In the second half, we push back on the claim that the pattern for sexuality laid out in the Bible is harmful, and we share our own experiences of the Christian sexual ethic as life-giving. Oh, and you can step back in time and find out what we were all watching on TV!
Resources mentioned
- Isn’t the Christian Sexual Ethic Harmful and Repressive? Andrew Bunt
- Does Living Out Support ‘Gay Cure’ or ‘Reparative Therapy’? Ed Shaw
- Washed and Waiting Wesley Hill
- What Should We Do With Gender Stereotypes? Andrew Bunt
- How Biblically Inclusive Is Your Church? The Living Out Church Audit
- Still Time To Care Greg Johnson
- LGBT and Mental Health: What’s the Link? Andrew Bunt
- LGBTQ+ Suicide Andrew Bunt
- How Can You Live Life Without Sex? Ed Shaw
In this special episode we say a sad farewell to our Content Director, Anne Witton. Anne shares her reasons for stepping down from front-line ministry at this time and talks honestly about some of the joys and struggles of her work with Living Out.
The team discuss highlights of the last few years, share favourite resources and remember plenty of funny moments.
Resources mentioned and related
- Anne's Story
- The Courage to Warn Anne Witton
- The Importance of Rounded Stories Andrew Bunt
- What Is Sexuality for? Ed Shaw
- 15, Same-sex Attracted... and Christian? Ashleigh Hull
- Christmas special 2022 podcast
- Thinking About Transgender feat. Dr. Julie Maxwell (Youth Leaders' Crash Course #6) podcast
- The Plausibility Problem Ed Shaw
- The Plausibility Problem: A Review Steve Ward
Andy explains how Hebrews 2 speaks into his experience of suffering and temptation in the area of sexuality, by reminding him that Jesus has been tempted and is sympathetic when we're struggling.
Dan's chosen passage is 1 Corinthians 6, which has helped him to see the worth and dignity we have in God's eyes, how we've been bought at a price, and what that means for what we do with our bodies.
Resources mentioned and related
- Kitchen Floors and Gethsemane Andy Robinson
- The Plausibility Problem Ed Shaw
- What God Has to Say About Our Bodies: A Review Dan Reid
- What God Has to Say About Our Bodies Sam Allberry
Ed is joined by Living Out co-founders Sam Allberry and Sean Doherty to talk about the early years of the ministry and some highlights from its history.
They share the story of how and why Living Out started and what their expectations were when it was launched ten years ago.
In the second half of the show they share their personal highlights, discuss the impact Living Out has had and express their hopes for the future.
Resources mentioned and related
- £10 a month club
- Sam's story
- Sean and Gaby's story
- Aren’t We Just Picking Which Bits of the Old Testament Law Apply Today? Sam Allberry
- If We've Rejected What the Bible Says About Slavery - Why Not What it Says About Homosexuality Too? Sean Doherty
- True Freedom Trust website
- Identity in Christ Conference: Culture and Identity Tim Keller
- The Living Out Church audit
- Ten Years of Living Out Ed Shaw
Adam explains how Romans 7 shows that God understands our experiences and the clash of desires in our hearts. He takes comfort from the fact that the Bible is very real about the struggles we all face but also offers freedom from condemnation for those who come to Christ.
Ed has chosen Acts 8 as a passage as an example of a beautiful encounter between Jesus and someone who experienced the shame of not having children. He takes encouragement from the fact that Jesus – the one who was despised and rejected – meets us in our pain and offers us hope.
Resources mentioned and related
- Misstep 9 - 'Suffering is to be avoided' (The Plausibility Problem #9) The Living Out team
- 'Be True to Yourself.' Really? Adam Curtis
- Whiter Than Snow: Meditations on Sin and Mercy Paul David Tripp
Andrew and Anne each pick a Bible passage that has helped them persevere in living faithfully for Jesus.
Anne explains why Psalm 63 has helped her identify and overcome idolatry in her friendships with women and encouraged her to hunger for God instead.
Andrew's choice of Psalm 73 shows that God himself is the greatest gift to us and we don't need to envy those who have things – like same-sex relationships – that we think we want. Following Jesus never means missing out on good and ultimate satisfaction.
Resources mentioned and related
- No One Can Live Without a Lover Anne Witton
- The Lesbian Urge to Merge Anne Witton
- Is Jesus worth it? King's Church 1066 Andrew Bunt
Ashleigh explains how Revelation 5 helps her keep an eternal perspective in times of change and makes sense of the longings in her heart.
2 Corinthians 12 is one of Andy's favourite passages and he shares how Paul's teaching about his thorn in the flesh is an encouragement to look to Jesus whose grace is sufficient for us.
Resources mentioned and related
- Book of Revelation Summary: A Complete Animated Overview (Part 1) The Bible Project
- Book of Revelation Summary: A Complete Animated Overview (Part 2) The Bible Project
- Is He Worthy Shane & Shane
- What's Good About Struggling With Same-sex Attraction? Anne Witton
Join Anne and Ed as they discuss some passages of Scripture that have really encouraged them.
Ed's pick is John 4 and he explains why Jesus' encounter with the woman at the well helps him understand Jesus' heart for those who have sinned sexually and the beautiful way that he stewards his sexuality.
Anne shares why Genesis 3 helps her make sense of life and God's purposes for sexuality and points forward to the hope of the gospel for all of us, whatever our areas of brokenness.
Resources mentioned and related
- The Three Lies of the Fall Anne Witton
- Newtown: Erskineville Anglican Church, John 4 Ed Shaw
- Purposeful Sexuality Ed Shaw (Living Out review here)
- Intimate Jesus Andy Angel (Living Out review here)
In the last episode of this series, Andrew and Ashleigh seek to understand the connection between LGBT+ and mental health and share some of their own experiences. They explore difficult issues like the social stress model, family rejection and insidences of suicide.
There are plenty of practical tips on supporting young people who wrestle with mental ill health and they show how the Christian gospel both makes sense of suffering and offers hope in the midst of it.
There is also an interview with Dr. Preston Sprinkle from the Center For Faith, Sexuality & Gender.
Discussion questions
For the episode:
- Do we have a good understanding of the main mental health issues our teens might be struggling with? (depression, anxiety, low self-esteem/self worth, self harm, eating disorders, suicidality, shame, addiction, etc.) If not, what’s our next step in learning?
- How can we provide a safe environment for teens to be honest about their pain/struggles?
- What practical things/resources should we put in place to equip us as a team and any youth who need help? (eg member of Ashleigh’s youth team did a bunch of research and created a brief document explaining various mental health problems and providing resources for helping with each)
For the series:
- What are your key takeaways?
- What should we continue to pray about?
- What’s your priority to do next?
Resources mentioned and related
- Youth Leaders' Crash Course podcast page
- LGBT and Mental Health: What’s the Link? Andrew Bunt
- A Christian Perspective on LGBTQ+ Mental Health Andrew Bunt
- Does Christian Teaching Cause LGBT Mental Health Problems? (Questions No One Wants To Answer #5)
- The Mental Health and Well-Being of Celibate Gay Christians Mark Yarhouse and Olya Zaporozhets
- Does Living Out Support ‘Gay Cure’ or ‘Reparative Therapy’? Ed Shaw
- LGBTQ+ Suicide Andrew Bunt
- It’s Time to Stop Weaponising Suicide Andrew Bunt
- Suicide Facts and Myths Transgender Trend
- Center For Faith, Sexuality & Gender
- Does the Bible Support Same-Sex Marriage? Preston Sprinkle
- Stats For Gender
- Headstrong: Mental wellbeing for young people
- Alumina: 7 week course for young people struggling with self-harm
- Mind.org.uk
In this show we're looking at how to support young people who are struggling with their gender identity. We define the terms and share our own stories of gender confusion before discussing some of the reasons why increasing numbers of young people might be identifying as transgender.
In the second half we get practical with advice about how to support young people experiencing distress about their gender, including how to respond with compassion, how to talk about identity and how to offer hope in suffering.
This episode also features an interview with community paediatrician Dr. Julie Maxwell.
Discussion questions
- Do we have a good understanding of sex, gender and transgender? If not, what’s our next step in learning?
- Do we have a good understanding of what the Bible says about sex, gender and identity? If not, what’s our next step in learning?
- Are we a welcoming, safe environment for teens who are trans-identifying, who have questions about gender generally or their own specifically? How can we become more so?
- What practical conversations (e.g. around names, pronouns, bathrooms, sleeping spaces) do we need to have?
Resources mentioned and related
- Youth Leaders' Crash Course podcast page
- To know how some LGBT people are using the language – see Stonewall’s ‘List of LGBTQ+ Terms’
- Parents guide to LGBTQ teens and our review of the resource
- Living Out Church leaders' webinar on trans-identification amongst teens
- Embodied Preston Sprinkle and our review
- Finding Your Best Identity Andrew Bunt and our review
- People Not Pronouns Andrew Bunt and our review
- What God Has To Say About Our Bodies Sam Allberry and our review
- CMF Quick Guide - Gender identity & trans identification - for youth workers
- Transgender: An Introduction for Parents and Youth Leaders Andrew Bunt
- Theology in the Raw podcast #768 – Where Should Trans Students Sleep at Summer Camp? And Other Questions
- Theology in the Raw podcast #870 – Another Take on the Pronoun Debate: Dr. Julie Maxwell
- More resources here...
In this show we discuss how to support young people who are experiencing same-sex attraction or questioning their sexuality. We look at how to understand the young person's experience and how to respond when they come out to you.
In the second half of the episode we look at how we disciple and offer ongoing support to young people who are struggling with their sexuality.
Discussion questions
- Has there been a time when you have had to share something deeply personal with someone else? Were you uncertain or afraid about how they might respond? What about those experiences might help us to respond well to teens who come out to us?
- How have we responded to teens who have come out to us in the past? What can we learn from these experiences?
- How are we discipling our teens on an ongoing basis? What else could we do?
Resources mentioned and related
- Youth Leaders' Crash Course podcast page
- Coming Out – Some Advice for Christians Andrew Bunt
- What to say if a young person ‘comes out’ in conversation with you Andrew Bunt
- Living In A Gray World Preston Sprinkle
- Living In A Gray World: A Review Ashleigh Hull
- What Does God Really Say About Sexuality? (Explore Questions #1) The Living Out Team
- Should Conversion Therapy Be Banned? (Questions No One Wants To Answer #1) The Living Out Team
We talk about how we as youth leaders can prepare ourselves and our churches to care for all young people, especially in the area of sexuality. We discusss the importance of modelling godly discipleship ourselves and creating an honest and safe culture for young people to share their struggles.
We also look at how we can engage well with parents and church leaders, communicate sensitively and ensure that youth work is an integral part of the whole life of the church.
This episode features a bonus interview with Tim Alford, National Director of Limitless, the youth and children’s movement of the Elim Pentecostal Churches. He is also youth leader at The Source Church in Malvern and a Youth Ministry Specialist Lecturer.
Discussion questions
- What do we need to do to prepare ourselves as youth leaders?
- What do we need to do to prepare our youth group?
- How can we engage well with parents and carers?
- How can we engage well with our church leaders?
Resources mentioned and related
- Youth Leaders' Crash Course podcast page
- 10 Questions Every Teen Should Ask (and Answer) about Christianity Rebecca McLaughlin
- 10 Questions Every Teen Should Ask (and Answer) About Christianity: A Review Andrew Bunt
- When Children Come Out – A Guide for Christian Parents Mark A. Yarhouse and Olya Zaporozhets
In this show the team discuss how we can teach on biblical sexuality to our young people. We talk about the importance of painting the bigger picture of sexuality throughout Scripture and setting it in the context of God's heart for his people and the gospel which is good news for everyone.
We discuss how to tackle the passages that specifically mention homosexuality and give some ideas of things to think about when teaching young people about sex. We also discuss lots of tricky questions that we've been asked and think about how to handle them in a clear, biblical and compassionate way.
Discussion questions
- Do you have a good understanding of what the Bible says about sexuality? If not, what’s your next step in learning?
- How can you teach this in a way that doesn’t compromise on truth, but also extends grace and sensitivity to your various listeners?
- How would you answer the common questions raised in this episode? (Perhaps practice on each other!)
Resources mentioned and related
- Youth Leaders' Crash Course podcast page
- What Is Sexuality for? Ed Shaw
- What Does God Really Say About Sexuality? (Explore Questions #1)
- Straight Youth Leader, Please Teach on Sexuality Ashleigh Hull
- Evaluating the Top Biblical Affirming Arguments Andrew Bunt
- Isn’t the Christian Sexual Ethic Harmful and Repressive? Andrew Bunt
- Isn’t God Being Unfair?
- Christian + Same-Sex Attracted: Is It Doable?
- Is My Sexuality Who I Am? Andrew Bunt
- Aren’t We Just Picking Which Bits of the Old Testament Law Apply Today? Sam Allberry
- Lessons from a Week Teaching Teenagers About Sex Andrew Bunt
- Living in a Gray World Preston Sprinkle
- Purposeful Sexuality Ed Shaw
- Marriage as a Trailer
- The Prodigal Prophet Tim Keller (quote from p.138)
In this show, we critique some of the commonly held cultural views such as 'I'm inherently good and know what’s best for me'; 'I won't be happy unless I embrace and act on my desires'; 'Love equals complete acceptance'; 'If something’s not hurting anyone, it can’t be wrong' and 'Porn is an expression of normal sexuality'.
We think about ther kernels of truth underlying some of these ideas whilst highlighting the damage they've often caused and pointing to biblical truth as a better narrative.
Discussion questions
- Which of the ideas raised in this episode do you find most challenging to teach on? Why?
- Which of these ideas is most relevant for/prevalent among the teens in your group?
- How can you begin to teach on these ideas?
Resources mentioned and related
- Youth Leaders' Crash Course podcast page
- The Righteous Mind Jonathan Haidt
- The Case Against the Sexual Revolution Louise Perry
- The Coddling of the American Mind Jonathan Haidt and Greg Lukianoff
- Theology in the Raw podcast #1004 – The Coddling of the American Mind Greg Lukianoff with Preston Sprinkle
- Confronting Porn Paula Hall
- Strange New World Carl R. Trueman
- Different for Boys: A Review Ed Shaw
- The Plausibility Problem Ed Shaw
- The Plausibility Problem podcast series
- Straight Youth Leader, Please Teach on Sexuality Ashleigh Hull
- The Courage to Warn Anne Witton
The Emerging Generations team discuss the need to understand the culture that our young people are steeped in so that we can be more effective in communicating biblical truth about sexuality.
We look at Jonathan Haidt's moral matrix to understand the values that shape our young peoples' moral decisions and see that they care about harm, fairness and freedom. We reflect on how we can listen well, find common ground and show how the Bible ultimately answers the questions that young people care about.
This episode features a bonus interview with Mike Snowdon who has 15 years of experience as a youth pastor, speaker, student worker and resource creator.
Discussion questions
- Where are your teens in terms of sexuality? What are the specific ideas they hold to?
- What’s the impact of these ideas on individuals, gay or straight?
- How might you begin to respond to the messages of our culture?
Resources mentioned and related
- Youth Leaders' Crash Course podcast page (including Moral Matrix graphic)
- The Righteous Mind Jonathan Haidt
- The Ultimate Heartstopper Andrew Bunt
- iGen Jean M. Twenge
- Different for Boys: A Review Ed Shaw
- A New Freedom Mike Snowdon
- A New Freedom website
- Help - I’m a Youth Leader! Ed Shaw
- Release Patrick Ness
- Sex Education Netflix
In the last of our current series – going through the missteps identified in The Plausibility Problem by Ed Shaw – we discuss whether suffering can and should be avoided. We share our own painful experiences and examine why some argue that the suffering of celibate same-sex attracted Christians is a reason to abandon traditional biblical teaching on sexual ethics.
We go on to show that suffering is a normal part of following Jesus, whether you're gay or straight, single or married. We look at some of the reasons why God allows us to suffer and the joys and benefits that we receive precisely because we suffer.
We also look at practical things that help us when we're struggling and ways that we can use our pain to love and serve others.
Resources mentioned and related
- The Plausibility Problem Ed Shaw
- The Plausibility Problem: A Review Steve Ward
- Support to Grieve Anne Witton
- You Only Live Once. Really? Adam Curtis
- Kitchen Floors and Gethsemane Andy Robinson
- What's Good About Struggling With Same-sex Attraction? Anne Witton
- Childlessness Anne Witton
- Anne and Abby on Their Community House Anne Witton
- Sharing Life Together Anne Witton
- Confronting Christianity Rebecca McLaughlin
- Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy Mark Vroegop
Today we unpick some of the cultural assumptions about sex being a need which underpin the idea that celibacy is bad for you. We discuss the problems with the view that sex is the only form of intimacy, sex is just about pleasure and sexual expression is core to our identity.
We examine some faulty interpretations of significant Bible passages on sexual desire and show that the Holy Spirit enables us to live fulfilled lives as celebate people who enjoy God, his people and his creation.
Resources mentioned and related
- The Plausibility Problem Ed Shaw
- The Plausibility Problem: A Review Steve Ward
- Marriage: God’s Solution to Sexual Temptation? Dani Treweek
- What is the Gift of Singleness? Andrew Bunt
- Finding Your Best Identity Andrew Bunt
- Finding Your Best Identity: A Review Alicia Barwick
- The Case Against the Sexual Revolution Louise Perry
- The Case Against the Sexual Revolution: A Review Ed Shaw
- The Mental Health and Well-Being of Celibate Gay Christians Mark Yarhouse and Olya Zaporozhets
- Hey, Single Christian. Your Celibacy Isn't Extraordinary Dani Treweek
- Hey Single Christian. Your Celibacy is Uniquely Meaningful Dani Treweek
What is godliness and what does it look like for people who experience opposite-sex and same-sex attraction? That's the question we explore today.
We also look at why the idea that godliness for a gay Christian means developing heterosexual desires is unhelpful and unbiblical.
Resources mentioned and related
- The Plausibility Problem Ed Shaw
- The Plausibility Problem: A Review Steve Ward
- What Does God Really Say About Sexuality? (Explore Questions #1)
- Called to be Holy and Blameless Andrew Bunt
- Putting My Armour On Anne Witton
- A Bible Chapter for Same-sex Attracted Christians Andrew Bunt
- What's Good About Struggling With Same-sex Attraction? Anne Witton
- Does Living Out Support ‘Gay Cure’ or ‘Reparative Therapy’? Ed Shaw
- Can Your Sexuality Change? Peter Ould
- Gay Girl Good God Jackie Hill Perry
- Gay Girl, Good God: A Review Adam Curtis
- The Heart of Christ in Heaven towards Sinners on Earth Thomas Goodwin
- Gentle and Lowly Dane Ortlund
- God Has a Name John Mark Comer
- Precious Remedies Against Satan's Devices Thomas Brooks
In this episode we discuss how the Bible upholds the view that men and women have absolutely equal value and dignity, looking at how Jesus treated women and recognising the role that women played in his ministry and the growth of the early church. We also contrast Jesus' example of servant leadership with some of the power struggles in church and society today.
We suggest how we can push back against gender stereotypes and promote body positivity to value the diverse experinces, interests and skills of both genders.
We also discuss the genuine differences between women and men which mean that we aren't simply interchangeable, and look at how we can work in cooperation rather than competition with each other.
Resources mentioned and related
- The Plausibility Problem Ed Shaw
- The Plausibility Problem: A Review Steve Ward
- What Should We Do With Gender Stereotypes? Andrew Bunt
- What Do ‘Man’ and ‘Woman’ Mean? Rebecca McLaughlin
- Crafts, Cream Teas and Chrysanthemums? How We Can Run Better Women’s Events Anne Witton
- Embodied Preston Sprinkle
- Embodied: A Review Andrew Bunt
- What God Has to Say About Our Bodies Sam Allberry
- What God Has to Say About Our Bodies: A Review Dan Reid
- Liberated Karen Soole
- A Brief Theology of Periods (Yes, Really) Rachel Jones
- A Brief Theology of Periods (Yes, Really): A Review Anne Witton
- The Case Against the Sexual Revolution Louise Perry
- The Case Against the Sexual Revolution: A Review Ed Shaw
- Are Women Human? Dorothy L. Sayers
- Marriage as a Trailer
- What Is Sexuality for? Ed Shaw
The team critique our cultural idolatry of sex and romance, which has also pervaded the church. We talk about why the assumption that sex is vital for human flourishing is so damaging and look at the impact it has on friendship, singleness and marriage.
We see how the Bible challenges our cultural obsession with sex and explore how we can foster deep, non-sexual intimacy with God and others in Christian community.
Resources mentioned and related
- The Plausibility Problem Ed Shaw
- The Plausibility Problem: A Review Steve Ward
- Have You Been Intimate with Anyone Recently? Andrew Bunt
- How Can You Live Life Without Sex? Ed Shaw
- Power in the Mundane Andrew Bunt
- Jesus on Friendship Andrew Bunt
- Made for Friendship Drew Hunter
- Made for Friendship: A Review Natalie Williams
- True Friendship Vaughan Roberts
- True Friendship: A Review Stuart Ferguson
- Longing for Intimacy Amy Riordan
- Longing for Intimacy: A Review Anne Witton
'If it makes you happy, it must be right' is a prevalent view in our culture. In this episode, the team critique this assumption. They share honestly some of the pain involved in following Jesus as same-sex attracted Christians and look at why following Jesus' example of costly obedience to God is truly life-giving.
They also question whether we're actually good at determining what makes us happy and expose the ways that rejecting God's good design actually leads to greater unhappiness and unfulfillment.
Resources mentioned and related
- The Plausibility Problem Ed Shaw
- The Plausibility Problem: A Review Steve Ward
- Kitchen Floors and Gethsemane Andy Robinson
- The Lesbian Urge to Merge Anne Witton
- Why I Won’t Settle for Less Than God’s Best Anne Witton
- Where Joy and Grief Meet Anne Witton
- What's Good About Struggling With Same-sex Attraction? Anne Witton
In this episode we discuss whether our sexualities are something we're born with or whether our childhood development and cultural influences play a part on shaping our desires.
We also talk about some of the damage that can be done if we follow all our innate desires, and discuss the doctrine of original sin and what that means for us. And we point to the goodness of God in helping us understand what's best for us.
Resources mentioned and related
- The Plausibility Problem Ed Shaw
- The Plausibility Problem: A Review Steve Ward
- Why Are Some People Same-sex Attracted? Ed Shaw
- Born This Way. Really? Adam Curtis
- Stubbornness and Same-Sex Attraction Ed Shaw
- Live No Lies John Mark Comer
- Straight Expectations Julie Bindel
- Lisa Diamond research on sexual fluidity
- Original Sin Alan Jacobs
- Oh Who Is That Young Sinner A. E. Housman
We continue our exploration of Ed Shaw's book, The Plausibility Problem by looking at what family really means for a Christian. We look at how Jesus defines family and why that's good news for single, celibate people.
We also talk about practical steps we can take to live as family and share our lives with one another in a meaningful way.
Resources mentioned and related
- The Plausibility Problem Ed Shaw
- The Plausibility Problem: A Review Steve Ward
- What Does Jesus Teach About Nuclear Family? Andrew Bunt
- Singles Need Family Time Too Andrew Bunt
- Why I Need My Single Friends Alison Bolton
- On Scandalous Housing Arrangements Gregory Coles
- Sharing Life Together Anne Witton
- The Dishwasher Test Andrew Bunt
- The Gospel Comes With a House Key Rosaria Butterfield
- 7 Myths About Singleness Sam Allberry
- 7 Myths About Singleness: A Review Andrew Bunt
In this series, the team and guests take a tour of Ed Shaw's book, The Plausibility Problem, looking at the misstep he identifies in each chapter. This first episode explores the question of whether our identity is our sexuality.
We discuss what part sexuality plays in shaping our identity, how we can find an identity rooted in Christ and how we can balance the reality of our struggles with sin with our status as children of God.
Resources mentioned and related
- The Plausibility Problem Ed Shaw
- The Plausibility Problem: A Review Steve Ward
- Should I Call Myself Gay? (Questions No One Wants To Answer #2)
- The Christian Debate Over Sexual Identity: Orientation And Labelling Sam Allberry
- It’s Not My Identity, But It Is My Story Anne Witton
- Is My Sexuality Who I Am? Andrew Bunt
- Finding Your Best Identity Andrew Bunt
- Finding Your Best Identity: A Review Alicia Barwick
- Meet the Authors #23 - Andrew Bunt
- The Joy of Pets Anne Witton
- Gentle and Lowly Dane Ortlund
- Deeper Dane Ortlund
This bonus compilation episode features 13 guests from our second Meet The Authors series answering a series of five questions.
They talk about what they'd say to their younger selves, recommend some resources, discuss what churches have done to help them, share what's been good about being same-sex attracted and / or single, and give some top tips for deepening healthy intimacy in friendship.
Resources mentioned
- Embodied Preston Sprinkle
- People To Be Loved Preston Sprinkle
- Single Gay Christian Greg Coles
- The Plausibility Problem Ed Shaw
- Why Does God Care Who I Sleep With? Sam Allberry
- Longing For Intimacy Amy Riordan
- Living In A Gray World Preston Sprinkle
- Is God Anti-Gay? Sam Allberry
- Gay Girl, Good God Jackie Hill Perry
- Washed and Waiting Wesley Hill
- Breaking The Marriage Idol Kutter Callaway
- The Returns Of Love Alex Davidson
- Posture Shift
- Guiding Families Of LGBT Loved Ones Bill Henson
- The Life You Never Expected Andrew and Rachel Wilson
- Finding Your Best Identity Andrew Bunt
- Journey UK
- What Does The Bible Really Teach About Homosexuality? Kevin DeYoung
You can read reviews of many of these resources on the Living Out website here.
Andy shares the biblical hope and truth that keeps him going as a same-sex attracted Christian. He also talks about his experience as a single pastor and how that's uniquely equipped him to support others.
In the second half of the show, we explore Andy's writing about exorcism. He explains that the response to Satan’s normal attacks on the believer isn’t exorcism. We need to be alert to spiritual attack whilst being careful that we don't demonise those whose particular battle is gay temptation. We also discuss his blog series on good pastoral support for same-sex attracted Christians and the value of listening and not making assumptions.
Resources mentioned
- Exorcism? Andy Robinson
- What Does Good Pastoral Support Look Like? (Part 1) Andy Robinson
- What Does Good Pastoral Support Look Like? (Part 2) Andy Robinson
- What Does Good Pastoral Support Look Like? (Part 3) Andy Robinson
- All Andy's Living Out content
Subscribe to the Living Out podcast
Anne shares her story of growing up gay and coming to faith in Christ at university. She talks about what has been good and what has been hard about being a same-sex attracted Christian, and what it is about God that keeps her going.
We discuss her writing about what it means to be a truly inclusive church, why it's important that straight allies listen to all LGBT voices and how we can fully support friends in the grief and pain of coming out of a gay relationship.
Resources mentioned
- What's Good About Struggling With Same-sex Attraction? Anne Witton
- What Does it Mean to be a Truly Inclusive Church? Anne Witton
- Straight Allies: Please Listen to All LGBT Voices Anne Witton
- Support to Grieve Anne Witton
- All Anne's Living Out content
- The Living Out Church Audit
As a single, same-sex attracted man, Stuart shares how he finds his needs for intimacy are met in godly friendships and church community.
We also talk about how we can honour God in celibacy and find it emotionally and spiritually satisfying, and we discover what everyone's favourite Christmas carols are.
Resources mentioned and related
- True Friendship: A Review Stuart Ferguson
- A War of Loves: A Review Stuart Ferguson
- Securely Single course
- Journey UK
In our Christmas special, the team tell their best (or worst) cracker jokes, reveal their favourite Christmas presents and talk about desserts, Christmas traditions and favourite books, TV and films.
We also discuss how we can overcome the difficulties of being single at Christmas and cope with sexual temptation and difficult family relationships. And we share the aspect of the Christmas message that gives us most encouragement in our faith.
Plus there's a look back at 2022 in stats and a discussion of what we're most looking forward to in 2023.
Resources mentioned
- When the Prince Did Come Andy Robinson
- Deeper Dane Ortlund
- Why We Sleep Matthew Walker
- The Box of Delights BBC TV series
- The Box of Delights John Masefield
- Dinner For One
- Morecambe and Wise
- Columbo
Andrew talks about the relevance of 1 Corinthians to our contemporary culture and the importance of grounding sexual ethics in the bigger picture of marriage, the gospel and God's creation plan for human flourishing.
We also discuss how to engage with people who disagree with us on sexual ethics and how to teach well on sexuality as a church leader, with the need for it to be rooted in honouring singleness and church as family.
Resources mentioned and related
- The True Sexual Revolution Andrew Wilson
- Sexuality and the Gospel Andrew Wilson
- This is About That Ed Shaw
- 1 Corinthians For You Andrew Wilson
Community paediatrician Julie Maxwell shares her experience of working with youth and navigating the transgender conversation.
She gives some helpful advice, practical tips and resources for parents, youth leaders and others who are trying to support young people questionning their gender identity.
Resources mentioned
- Parenting a Child Questioning Their Gender Identity
- Lovewise Online
- The Cass Review (Independent review of gender identity services for children and young people)
- Irreversible Damage: Teenage Girls and the Transgender Craze Abigail Shrier
- Gender: A Wider Lens Podcast
- Bayswater Support Group
In this show we talk to Andrew Bunt about his new book, Finding Your Best Identity: A Short Christian Introduction to Identity, Sexuality and Gender. He shows how his own personal experience of wrestling with these questions has helped him understand what's at the heart of the struggle for identity.
We discuss the ways that culture encourages us to form our sense of who we are and explore some practical ways that we can live out our true identity in Christ.
Resources mentioned
- Finding Your Best Identity: A Short Christian Introduction to Identity, Sexuality and Gender Andrew Bunt
- Purposeful Sexuality: A Short Christian Introduction Ed Shaw
- All Andrew's Living Out content
Today we're chatting to Ed Shaw about his experiences of coming to terms with his sexuality as a young Christian and how, as an adult, he became more open about his same-sex attraction. We also find out how Living Out was born.
In the second half we discuss why permanent, faithful, stable sexual same-sex relationships aren't God's best for us, but what we can learn about intimacy in friendship from the good in those relationships. Ed then shares about why he's found it helpful to read LGBT novels, poetry and non-fiction.
Resources mentioned
- What's Wrong With a Permanent, Faithful, Stable Same-Sex Sexual Relationship? Ed Shaw
- How Reading Liberally Helps Me Ed Shaw
- The Plausibility Problem: The Church And Same-Sex Attraction Ed Shaw
- Purposeful Sexuality: A Short Christian Introduction Ed Shaw
- The Beautiful Story films CEEC
- All Ed's Living Out content
- Dancer from the Dance Andrew Holleran
- Straight Jacket: Overcoming Society's Legacy of Gay Shame Matthew Todd
In this interview with Dan, he shares about how friends have supported him when he came out about his same-sex attraction. In the second half, he talks about how God brought him back from a period of sexual experimentation and freed him from shame and regret.
Dan also gives helpful insight into his experience of singleness and how the church can support those of us who are unmarried.
Resources mentioned
- How Can I Find Freedom from the Weight of Sexual Sin? Dan Reid
- When the Single Life Feels Long Dan Reid
- Support to Grieve Anne Witton
- Is God Anti-Gay?: A Review Dan Reid
- What God Has to Say About Our Bodies: A Review Dan Reid
Jo and Anne talk about their friendship and how Jo has supported Anne with her same-sex attraction over the years, as well as how they've encouraged each other to press on with Jesus.
Jo also talks about her experience of engaging with LGBT issues in the secular world, particularly at her boys' school. She also shares about how she talks to her children about sexuality.
Resources mentioned
- The Call To All Jo Arkell
- Stewardship website
- Agapé Family Life website
Stuart is the Director of True Freedom Trust (TfT), a ministry that supports same-sex attracted Christians. In this interview we talk with him about his work and the help that TfT offers.
We also discuss Stuart's own story of becoming a Christian and experiencing same-sex attraction and find out what it is that enables him to press on with Jesus.
Resources mentioned
- True Freedom Trust website
- Purposeful Sexuality: A Review Stuart Parker
Ashleigh shares her story of being a Christian teenager with same-sex attraction. We discuss how she shared that with friends and family, the support she received and how she now supports young people in their own struggles with sexuality.
We also talk about how following Jesus has shaped Ashleigh's identity and why she trusts God's pattern for sexuality in a world that increasingly rejects it.
Resources mentioned
- 15, Same-sex Attracted... and Christian? Ashleigh Hull
- Living In A Gray World Preston Sprinkle
- Living In A Gray World: A Review Ashleigh Hull
In this fascinating interview with Greg, we learn more of his story of reconciling his faith and sexuality. We also talk about how Jesus releases us from shame.
In the second half, we discuss Greg's book, Still time to Care, which explains the history of the ex-gay movement, how terminology has changed and how we can move from a paradigm of cure to a paradigm of care for sexual minorities.
Resources mentioned
- Gay Shame and Jesus Greg Johnson
- Still Time to Care Greg Johnson
- Still Time to Care: A Review Ed Shaw
- The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World Alan Downs
- Revoice website
Church leader Jez Field shares why he found Glynn Harrison's book 'A Better Story' so helpful in understanding and critiquing our culture's take on sexuality.
He also explains how he seeks to better understand our culture in order to be more effective in communicating faith, building relationship and making disciples.
Resources mentioned
- A Better Story: God, Sex & Human Flourishing Glynn Harrison
- A Better Story: A Review Jez Field
- The Life and Leadership podcast
- From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life Arthur C. Brooks
- The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self: Cultural Amnesia, Expressive Individualism, and the Road to Sexual Revolution Carl R. Trueman
- Identity: The Demand for Dignity and the Politics of Resentment Francis Fukuyama
- Stolen Focus: Why You Can't Pay Attention Johann Hari
- A Non-Anxious Presence: How a Changing and Complex World Will Create a Remnant of Renewed Christian Leaders Mark Sayers
- LGBTQ & Faith courses The Center For Faith, Sexuality & Gender
- Prince Caspian C. S. Lewis
- Crossroads Jonathan Franzen
Today we're joined by writer, editor and speaker Jennie Pollock, author of the book If Only: Finding Contentment in the Face of Lack and Longing.
We discuss how to face the reality of disappointments in life when it doesn't turn out as hoped. Jennie shares her thoughts on singleness and sexuality, how to critique the culture more effectively and how to find a real joy in following Jesus.
Resources mentioned
- If Only Jennie Pollock
- If Only: A Review Jeanette Howard
- Divine Sex: A Review Jennie Pollock
- Gender Identity and Trans Identification - for Pastors Andrew Bunt
- Gender Identity and Trans Identification - for Youth Workers Andrew Bunt
- Gender Identity and Trans Identification - for Parents Julie Maxwell and Andrew Bunt
- Living Out stories
- Born Again This Way Rachel Gilson
- The Life We're Looking For Andy Crouch
- Art of Manliness Podcast #796: The Life We’re Looking For
We kick off a new Meet The Authors podcast series by interviewing Greg Coles. Greg is a writer, blogger, speaker and Senior Research Fellow at the Center For Faith, Sexuality and Gender. In the show he shares his experience of growing up gay and Christian, how he wrestled with biblical teaching and came to appreciate many of the blessings of singleness.
We also discuss his books, how he went public about his sexuality, and how we can all experience intimacy and belonging.
Resources mentioned
- Single Gay Christian Gregory Coles
- No Longer Strangers Gregory Coles
- On Scandalous Housing Arrangements Gregory Coles
- You Will Never Be Ready Gregory Coles
- Greg's website
- Center For Faith Pastoral Paper 11. What Pronouns Should Christians Use For Transgender People? Gregory Coles
- The Center For Faith, Sexuality and Gender website
For the last show in this current series, we're joined by Tom Putt who is the vicar at St John the Baptist, Burford. Tom shares about what he learned at a Living Out course and how he's been navigating the sexuality conversation in his own church. We also talk about the points of the church audit that are most challenging for him and how he hopes to embed biblical inclusion at the heart of his church's life together.
We have a dedicated Church Leaders area of the website where you can download the church audit to work through in your own context. You can also find out about Living Out courses in your area or get in touch with us to explore hosting one yourself.
Resources mentioned and related
- The Living Out Church Audit
- The Living Out Course
In this series we're looking at how churches can be more biblically inclusive, working through our 10-point Living Out Church Audit.
In this episode, we discuss statements eight and nine:
- God's gifts of either singleness or marriage are equally promoted, valued and practically supported in your church's family life together.
- Church family members instinctively share meals, homes, holidays, festivals, money and family life with others from different backgrounds and life situations to them.
Resources mentioned and related
- The Living Out Church Audit
- Power in the Mundane Andrew Bunt
- Secure in Singleness Anne Witton
- Singles Need Family Time Too Andrew Bunt
- Anne and Abby on Their Community House Anne Witton
- What Does Jesus Teach About Nuclear Family? Andrew Bunt
- Singleness resources The Living Out Team
- Single-Minded Kate Wharton
In the next instalment of our series looking at how churches can be more biblically inclusive, working through our 10-point Living Out Church Audit, we discuss statements seven and ten:
- A godly Christian's sexual orientation would never prevent them from exercising their spiritual gifts or serving in leadership in your church.
- No one would be pressurised into expecting or seeking any 'healing' or change that God has not promised any of us until the renewal of all things.
Resources mentioned and related
- The Living Out Church Audit
- Should Conversion Therapy Be Banned? (Questions No One Wants To Answer #1) The Living Out Team
- Conversion therapy resources The Living Out Team
- What's Good About Struggling with Same-Sex Attraction? Anne Witton
We're continuing our series looking at how churches can be more biblically inclusive, working through our 10-point Living Out Church Audit.
In this episode, we discuss statements five and six:
- All in your church are hearing the same call to radical self-sacrifice of themselves in response to God’s giving of himself in Jesus.
- All in your church are encouraged to develop an identity founded first and foremost on their union with Christ.
Resources mentioned and related
- The Living Out Church Audit
- Church resources
- Is My Sexuality Who I Am? Andrew Bunt
- Gentle and Lowly Dane Ortlund
- Union With Christ Rankin Wilbourne
We're continuing our series looking at how churches can be more biblically inclusive, working through our 10-point Living Out Church Audit.
In this episode, we discuss statements three and four:
- All in your church know that we all experience sexual brokenness and all are being encouraged to confess their own sexual sins.
- Same-sex sexual relationships are never mentioned in isolation from other sinful patterns of behaviour, or from the forgiveness offered to all through faith in Christ crucified.
Resources mentioned and related
- The Living Out Church Audit
- Church resources
We're starting a new series looking at how churches can be more biblically inclusive, working through our 10-point Living Out Church Audit.
In this episode, we discuss the first two statements:
- Your church meetings include peoplw who could be labelled LGBTQI+ / same-sex attracted.
- Derogatory language or stereotyping attitudes to anyone would not be tolerated either upfront or in conversations between church family members.
Resources mentioned and related
- The Living Out Church Audit
- What Should We Do With Gender Stereotypes? Andrew Bunt
- What Should We Look for from a Church? Andrew Bunt
- Church resources
A trailer for the fourth series of the Living Out podcast where we'll be exploring how churches can become more biblically inclusive and support same-sex attracted Christians in their walk with God.
How helpful is it to ask the question "What Am I Gay?" and what are some of the pitfalls in answering it? The team analyse various attempts to explain why some people are same-sex attracted and point to more helpful ways to think about the question in the light of a Christian perspective on God's sovereignty and our humanity.
Resources mentioned and related
- Why Are Some People Same-sex Attracted? Ed Shaw
- What's Good About Struggling With Same-sex Attraction? Anne Witton
- Single Gay Christian Greg Coles
Christians who hold to traditional teaching on biblical sexuality are sometimes accused of harming the mental health of LGBT people. In this episode the team explore whether biblical sexuality really does harm LGBT people, expose some of the assumptions and missteps behind that claim and look at how churches can be better at supporting everyone with mental health difficulties.
Resources mentioned and related
- LGBT and Mental Health: What’s the Link? Andrew Bunt
- Isn’t the Christian Sexual Ethic Harmful and Repressive? The Living Out Team
- The Mental Health and Well-Being of Celibate Gay Christians Mark Yarhouse and Olya Zaporozhets
- What Does Good Pastoral Support Look Like? (Part 1) Andy Robinson
- What Does Good Pastoral Support Look Like? (Part 2) Andy Robinson
- What Does Good Pastoral Support Look Like? (Part 3) Andy Robinson
- Take Your Time Ed Shaw
- How Biblically Inclusive Is Your Church? The Living Out Church Audit The Living Out Team
- Engaging with LGBT Mental Health Andrew Bunt
- A Christian Perspective on LGBTQ+ Mental Health Andrew Bunt
- LGBTQ+ Suicide Andrew Bunt
- It’s Time to Stop Weaponising Suicide Andrew Bunt
- Mind.org.uk
- Straight Jacket Matthew Todd
Is the mere experience of same-sex attraction sinful, or is it morally neutral? When does temptation turn into sinful desire?
Working out whether same-sex attraction is inherently sinful is important as we want to take sin seriously and repent of it on the one hand, whilst not feeling shame and guilt over something that isn't sinful. Join us as we explore this potentially divisive issue.
Resources mentioned and related
- How Do You Cope With Ongoing Same-sex Attraction? Ed Shaw
- Gay Shame and Jesus Greg Johnson
- How Can I Find Freedom from Shame? Rob Wood
- Don't Look for a Prince Andy Robinson
- Purposeful Sexuality Ed Shaw
- Is Same-Sex Attraction Sinful? Preston Sprinkle
- Is Same-Sex Attraction (or Being Gay) a Sin? Dr. Nate Collins and Greg Coles
- The Expulsive Power of a New Affection Thomas Chalmers
The team discuss how we should we respond when we get invited to a gay wedding and whether it makes a difference if the couple are Christians. They also ponder whether this is something that Christians can agree to disagree on, how we can communicate our decision to the couple, and some of the missional considerations.
Resources mentioned and related
* Should I Go to a Gay Wedding? Anne Witton
* What's Wrong With a Permanent, Faithful, Stable Same-Sex Sexual Relationship? Ed Shaw
* Should a Christian Wear a Rainbow Lanyard? Ed Shaw
* Should I attend a Gay Wedding? Phil Barnett
* Should I Attend the Wedding of a Gay Friend or Family Member? Peter Ould, Eve Tushnet, Lisa Severine Nolland and Sherif Girgis
How should Christians who are attracted to the same sex describe themselves? In this episode, the team talk about the pros and cons of labelling ourselves as 'celibate gay Christians' or 'same-sex attracted Christians.'
We talk about the importance of clarity in communication, how what we say about ourselves plays into our identity and give some words of wisdom for young people coming to terms with their own same-sex attraction.
Resources mentioned and related
- The Christian Debate Over Sexual Identity: Orientation And Labelling Sam Allberry
- It’s Not My Identity, But It Is My Story Anne Witton
- Is My Sexuality Who I Am? Andrew Bunt
- Take Your Time Ed Shaw
- What's Good About Struggling With Same-sex Attraction? Anne Witton
- Single Gay Christian Greg Coles
- Is God Anti-Gay? Sam Allberry
- The Plausibility Problem Ed Shaw
- “Gay” Vs. “Same Sex Attraction:” A Dialogue Greg Coles and Rachel Gilson
In this series, the team tackle some of the most difficult questions that we get asked and in this first episode Ed, Andy, Anne and Andrew discuss whether conversion therapy should be banned.
They talk about definitions of conversion therapy, its effects, how prevalent it is and what needs to be taken into consideration as legislation is being drafted.
Resources mentioned and related
- Does Living Out Support ‘Gay Cure’ or ‘Reparative Therapy’? Ed Shaw
- Ban Conversion Therapy, But Don't Ban Support Andrew Bunt
- Freedom to Be Me Anne Witton
- Can Your Sexuality Change? Peter Ould
- Have I Been Subjected to Torture? Andrew Bunt
- Conversion Therapy Ban Consultation The Living Out Team
- My New Interest in Human Rights Ed Shaw
- Why Are Some People Same-sex Attracted? Ed Shaw
- Sean's Story
- Conversion Therapy Resources The Living Out Team
- What would a conversion therapy ban mean for gay Christians like me? Ed Shaw
- A law that traps teens Andrew Bunt
- I’m a gay Christian. Here’s why banning conversion therapy won’t protect LGBT people Andrew Bunt
- Undivided Vicky Beeching
- Boy Erased, 2018
- The Miseducation of Cameron Post, 2018
Subscribe to the Living Out podcast
A trailer for the third series of the Living Out podcast where we'll be discussing questions that no one wants to answer.
In the final podcast of this series, Ed, Andy and Andrew discuss whether holding to a traditional biblical sexual ethic puts us on the crazy end of the spectrum of historic and global Christianity.
They also explore why people in secular society might think that Living Out's view on sexuality is crazy.
Resources mentioned
- Living Out stories
- The Gospel in a Pluralist Society Lesslie Newbigin
Andrew, Andy and Anne talk about how they've each come to feel more at ease with their sexuality and how they've been able to develop good friendships in spite of the pitfalls.
The show also explores pathways out of shame for the Christian and the importance of having an identity that is rooted in Christ.
Resources mentioned
- How Can I Find Freedom from the Weight of Sexual Sin? Dan Reid
- How Do You Cope With Ongoing Same-sex Attraction? Ed Shaw
- How Can I Find Freedom from Shame? Rob Wood
- What's Good About Struggling With Same-sex Attraction? Anne Witton
In today's show, Anne, Ed and Andy discuss whether sexuality is really a big deal. Why are Christians obsessed with sex when there seem to be so many other pressing issues? Do Christians need to fall out over sexual ethics or is it something we can just agree to disagree on? How can we respond when churches and denominations change their stance?
Resources mentioned
- Why Can't Christians Agree to Differ? Sam Allberry
- What Is Sexuality for? Ed Shaw
- Why Should the Church Be Debating Homosexuality? Ed Shaw
- How Can We Have Good Discussions With Christians Who Disagree With Us on Sexuality? Andrew Goddard
- I Will Follow Jon Guerra
For many people, same-sex attraction can feel very isolating. Ed, Andy and Anne discuss how, over time, they felt less alone and were able to get support from friends and church. We also share some advice for those just becoming aware of their sexualities and wanting support and we look at helpful things churches can do. And we also learn about Ed's imaginary wife.
Resources mentioned
- Washed and Waiting Wesley Hill
- True Freedom Trust
- Living Out stories
- Should A Church Start a Group for Same-Sex Attracted Members? Charlie Skrine
- What Does Good Pastoral Support Look Like? (Part 1) Andy Robinson
- What Does Good Pastoral Support Look Like? (Part 2) Andy Robinson
- What Does Good Pastoral Support Look Like? (Part 3) Andy Robinson
- Living Out Church Audit
Today we're discussing whether God is unfair when he says that sex should only be within a marriage between one man and one woman. Ed, Andy and Anne recount their personal experiences of wrestling with this question and share some favourite biblical encouragements.
We talk about the good things about being single, the importance of trusting in the character of our good Father and not making sexuality the biggest thing in our lives. We'll also find out what Ed likes to read on a beach holiday.
Resources mentioned and related
- Isn't God Being Unfair?
- Precious Remedies Against Satan’s Devices Thomas Brooks
- What's Good About Struggling With Same-sex Attraction? Anne Witton
- How Can You Live Life Without Sex? Ed Shaw
- The True Sexual Revolution Andrew Wilson
- Vaughan Roberts on Singleness Vaughan Roberts
- What is the Gift of Singleness? Andrew Bunt
- 7 Myths About Singleness Sam Allberry
- Is It Ever Responsible for People With Same-same Attraction to Get Married? Sean Doherty
- Marriage As A Trailer
Andrew, Andy and Anne dive into the practicalities of living as same-sex attracted Christians seeking to be faithful to biblical teaching on sexuality. Each shares the difficulties, what has helped and the surprising blessings that have come from experiening this particular struggle.
We also look at how the church can help make discipleship for same-sex attracted Christians more doable with plenty of encouragement and signposts to further resources. We also find out why Andy's job makes Andrew feel hungry.
Resources mentioned
- Living Out stories
- What's Good About Struggling With Same-sex Attraction? Anne Witton
- The Living Out Church Audit
- The Plausibility Problem Ed Shaw
- How Can I Find Freedom from the Weight of Sexual Sin? Dan Reid
In the first half of the show we explore ways in which Christians / churches have sadly harmed people in the areas of sex and sexuality. We talk about how silence has made it hard for people to feel safe and understood; how churches have sometimes created cultures of shame; and we discuss the damaging legacy of conversion therapy.
In the second half, we push back on the claim that the pattern for sexuality laid out in the Bible is harmful, and we share our own experiences of the Christian sexual ethic as life-giving. Oh, and you can find out what we've all been enjoying on TV recently.
Resources mentioned
- Isn’t the Christian Sexual Ethic Harmful and Repressive? Andrew Bunt
- Does Living Out Support ‘Gay Cure’ or ‘Reparative Therapy’? Ed Shaw
- Washed and Waiting Wesley Hill
- What Should We Do With Gender Stereotypes? Andrew Bunt
- How Biblically Inclusive Is Your Church? The Living Out Church Audit
- Still Time To Care Greg Johnson
- LGBT and Mental Health: What’s the Link? Andrew Bunt
- LGBTQ+ Suicide Andrew Bunt
- How Can You Live Life Without Sex? Ed Shaw
Join Ed, Andrew and Anne as they share how they discovered God's purposes for sexuality. We explore why we can trust what the Bible says on sex, what Jesus had to say and how to understand the specific mentions of homosexuality within the broader context of biblical teaching on sexuality. And prawns get a mention too.
Resources mentioned
- What Is Sexuality for? Ed Shaw
- Marriage as a Trailer
- Purposeful Sexuality Ed Shaw
- Why Do Christians Trust the Bible? Andrew Bunt
- Can Christians Trust What the Bible Says on the Topic of Sex? Andrew Bunt
- What Does the Bible Say About Homosexuality? Sam Allberry
- Aren’t We Just Picking Which Bits of the Old Testament Law Apply Today? Sam Allberry
- Evaluating the Top Biblical Affirming Arguments Andrew Bunt
- Evaluating the Top Affirming Arguments Andrew Bunt
- Strangers and Friends Michael Vasey
A trailer for the second series of the Living Out podcast where we'll be exploring the top questions on faith and sexuality.
We've finished our first Meet The Authors series, but this episode features thirteen guests giving their answers to five quickfire questions. We'll hear what advice our guests would give to their younger selves, what resources they recommend, how churches have been particularly helpful, what's been good about being same-sex attracted or being single, and top tips for deepening healthy intimacy in friendship.
Resources mentioned
- 7 Myths About Singleness Sam Allberry
- Is God Anti Gay? Sam Allberry
- Breaking the Marriage Idol Kutter Calloway
- Centerforfaith.com
- A Change of Affection Becket Cook
- Redeeming Singleness Barry Danylak
- Born Again This Way Rachel Gilson
- Jesus, Lover of My Soul Julian Hardyman
- Washed and Waiting Wesley Hill
- The Single Issue Al Hsu
- The Prodigal God Tim Keller
- Living Out Identity in Christ conference
- The Plausibility Problem Ed Shaw (Published as Same-Sex Attraction and the Church in the US)
- Single Friendly Church
- People To Be Loved Preston Sprinkle
- Two Views on Homosexuality, the Bible, and the Church Preston Sprinkle
- Single-Minded Kate Wharton
- Understanding Sexual Identity Mark Yarhouse
On this show we're interviewing Rachel Gilson, a leader at Cru and PhD at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. She came to faith from an intellectual, non-Christian, lesbian background and is now married to a man.
We talk about her story, why she's convinced that the Bible's teaching isn't arbitary when it comes to who we can sleep with, and the fact that we can follow God's rules because we can trust God's good character. We also talk about the purpose of marriage, what it's like to be in a 'mixed-orientation' marriage, and its opportunity to reveal the good news of the gospel to the world.
Resources mentioned
- My Surprising Marriage Rachel Gilson
- Born Again This Way Rachel Gilson
- Rachel's website
- Mere Christianity C. S. Lewis
International author and speaker Preston Sprinkle joins us in this show to talk about his work in the area of transgender.
We discuss the work of the Center for Faith, Sexuality and Gender, which he heads up, and his latest book, Embodied, which is an accessible guide to the transgender conversation. He also explains intersex conditions and we unpack sex binaries and gender stereotypes.
Resources mentioned
- The Center for Faith, Sexuality and Gender
- Embodied Preston Sprinkle
- People To Be Loved Preston Sprinkle
- 5 Things Every Christian Should Know about the Transgender Conversation Preston Sprinkle
- Intersex and Transgender Identities Preston Sprinkle
Church leader and Christian Ethics tutor Andrew Goddard has a vast amount of experience having dialogue on issues of sexuality in the church. He shares the fascinating story of that engagement over the last couple of decades, the resources he's found particularly helpful, and some advice about how to have honouring and helpful discussions with those who have a different viewpoint from us.
Resources mentioned
- How Can We Have Good Discussions With Christians Who Disagree With Us on Sexuality? Andrew Goddard
- Living in Love and Faith
- True Freedom Trust
- Issues in Human Sexuality House of Bishops
- Strangers and Friends Michael Vasey
- St. Andrews Day Statement
- Bible, Gender, Sexuality James V. Brownson
- James V. Brownson, Bible, Gender, Sexuality: A Critical Engagement Andrew Goddard
- Covenant and Calling Robert Song
- A Critical Dialogue with Robert Song’s Covenant and Calling: Towards A Theology of Same-Sex Relationships (SCM, 2014) Andrew Goddard
- Covenant and Calling: A Review Andrew Bunt
- The Bible and Homosexual Practice Robert A. J. Gagnon
- The Moral Vision for the New Testament Richard Hays (Chapter on homosexuality)
- The Plausibility Problem Ed Shaw
- Washed and Waiting Wesley Hill
- Spiritual Friendship Wesley Hill
- People to be Loved Preston Sprinkle
In this episode we're talking with Rob Wood, an ordinand in the Church of England and formerly head of True Freedom Trust's teaching ministry. He is also co-author of the book Satisfaction Guaranteed.
Rob shares why he gave up a gay lifestyle to follow Jesus wholeheartedly and and explains what he finds compelling about the Christian narrative. His conviction is that biblical teaching on sexuality is good news for everyone and only God can bring lasting freedom from shame.
Resources mentioned
- Satisfaction Guaranteed Jonathan Berry and Rob Wood
- How Can I Find Freedom from Shame? Rob Wood
On this show we interview consultant statistician and ordained Church of England priest Peter Ould. Peter shares his rich theological journey into what it means to be human and what it means to be male, as well as what his biblical research has uncovered about the meaning behind God’s proscriptions for sexual behaviour. We look at how Peter sees a deliberate refusal to enter a same sex sexual relationship as an act of worship.
We also discuss human identity, idolatry of relationships, ways of describing sexual orientation and research into the fluidity of sexuality.
Resources mentioned
- Peter’s story
- Can Your Sexuality Change? Peter Ould
- Peter’s blog
- Does Living Out Support ‘Gay Cure’ or ‘Reparative Therapy’? Ed Shaw
- My God is Real David Watson
Today we have vicar and New Wine leader Kate Wharton on the show talking about why she felt called by God to make a public committment to singleness.
We explore how churches can make single people feel more welcome and included at all levels of church life. Kate also gives us some wonderful wisdom about developing good friendships.
Resources mentioned
- Single-Minded Kate Wharton
- Kate's blog, Single Minded
- Why It Helped Me to Make a Public Commitment to Singleness Kate Wharton
This week we're chatting with Sean Doherty who works in theological education and teaches Christian Ethics. He realised he was gay/same-sex attracted in his late teens but to his surprise he ended up married to Gaby, who is currently a curate.
Sean talks about his experiences of marriage as someone who is same-sex attracted, and explores more generally what godly sexual attraction looks like. We also discuss how the church can respond in a helpful way when a gay couple become Christians and we talk about what healthy committed friendship looks like.
Resources mentioned
- Sean and Gaby's story
- Is It Ever Responsible for People With Same-same Attraction to Get Married? Sean Doherty
This week we're chatting with Jeanette Howard - author, speaker, gardener and pet-sitter. We explore her story of growing up with gender confusion, developing same-sex attraction and coming to faith in the 1980s through her then-girlfriend.
She explains how she left a gay lifestyle behind and shares what has helped her to grow in her love of Jesus. She also challenges the church to support others like her by being real family to one another.
We also talk about her latest writing project - Betrothed: Wooed By a Greater Love.
Resources mentioned
- Jeanette's story
- Out of Egypt Jeanette Howard
- Into the Promised Land Jeanette Howard
- Dwelling in the Land Jeanette Howard
In this episode, we’re talking to Vaughan Roberts. Vaughan is a pastor at St Ebbe’s Church Oxford, where he has been for 30 years. Here he shares his experiences of coming out as same-sex attracted and what he’s learned about sharing personal experiences with others. He explores whether it’s wise for all same-sex attracted Christians to come out, and some things to think about when we do share with others. We also discuss friendship and what Song of Songs can teach us about intimacy with Christ.
Resources mentioned
- Should All Same-Sex Attracted Christians Come Out? Vaughan Roberts
- True Friendship Vaughan Roberts
- Song of Songs 1:1-2:7 – “Better than wine” Vaughan Roberts
- Song of Songs 2:8-3:5 – “The season of singing” Vaughan Roberts
- Song of Songs 3:6-5:1 – “You have stolen my heart” Vaughan Roberts
- Song of Songs 5:2-6:3 – “Faint with love” Vaughan Roberts
- Song of Songs 6:4-8:14 – “Come away, my beloved” Vaughan Roberts
In this episode, we’re talking to Sam Allberry who works as a pastor and an apologist, and was part of the team that founded Living Out. Here Sam talks to us about how the church is supporting same-sex attracted Christians, which bits of the Bible he focuses on when he teaches about sexuality and why it is a gospel issue. We also chat about his recent books about singleness and sexual ethics and explore themes of consent, Christian community and the purpose of marriage.
Resources mentioned
- What Does the Bible Say About Homosexuality? Sam Allberry
- Why Can't Christians Agree to Differ? Sam Allberry
- 7 Myths about Singleness Sam Allberry
- Why does God care who I sleep with? Sam Allberry
- The Plausibility Problem Ed Shaw
- From Shame to Sin: The Christian Transformation of Sexual Morality in Late Antiquity Kyle Harper
- Faithful: A Theology of Sex Beth Felker Jones
In this episode, we’re talking to Dani Treweek who is the chair of singlemindedconference.com and has recently completed PhD research into a theological ethic of singleness. Dani explains about her research into singleness in the church and unpacks some of the issues that we all need to think about in order to value and include single people in church life. She talks about how we can learn from historical Christian thinking that challenges our contemporary cultural blind spots and leads us into a richer understanding of God’s design for singleness, marriage and our sexualities.
Resources mentioned
· Single Minded Conference
· Liberty Sydney
· On ‘Old Books’ and the Single Christian Life Dani Treweek
· 7 Myths about Singleness Sam Allberry
· Breaking the Marriage Idol: Reconstructing Our Cultural and Spiritual Norms Kutter Callaway
In this episode, we have a fascinating conversation with Adam Curtis. Adam is a Curate in Sidcup and oversees evangelism at his church. In this interview Adam gives an honest, warm and hopeful account of how he came to terms with his same-sex attraction and applied the truths of the gospel to his sexuality. We also discuss his research on Queer Theology and the sexuality of Jesus.
Resources mentioned
- What is Queer Theology? Adam Curtis
- The Sexuality of Jesus Adam Curtis
- Intimate Jesus: A Review Adam Curtis
For this episode, we’re chatting to Andrew Bunt. Andrew is part of the leadership team at King’s Church Hastings and Bexhill and is also a speaker and writer with Living Out. In this interview we explore his story as he sought to reconcile his faith and his sexuality. He covers coming out, forming views on what the Bible says about homosexuality, wrestling with the implications of biblical teaching, issues of identity and emotional dependency and advice on how we can do better to nuture godly intimacy.
Resources mentioned
- 'Who in Heaven’s Name Do You Think You Are?' Andrew Bunt
- ‘Is My Sexuality Who I Am?’ Andrew Bunt
- ‘Emotional Dependency’ Andrew Bunt
- ‘Identity in Christ’ conference talks