Girl Talk Lifestyle Ministry: Recent Episodes
Damesha Wells
This is the podcast for YOU. If you're confused, feeling heartbroken, struggling to forgive, feeling forgotten, hiding your true identity, or maybe something in between. This is your space to get what you need. We're supplying you with edifying conversation to equip you in your journey of being the best you possible. It's time for you to walk in confidence on the path God has set forth for you. It's time for you to be who He has called you to be. No more time to waste, let's go!
Hi friends! On the season finale of season four, we have one of the hardest conversations a Believer could ever have. We discuss what it looks like when you are standing for a promise and trusting God but your reality looks nothing like what God said?
Tune in as Damesha takes a deep dive into trusting and believing God and how that may impact our ability to rest in the character of God.
Hi Friends! On this episode, we're tackling the topic of attacks from the enemy. Tune in as Damesha discusses why the enemy attacks us and how the enemy gets access to launch his attacks against us as followers of Christ. It's a fixed fight though! We have victory through Jesus. You shall not be defeated!
*Scripture References:
- John 10:10
- Luke 10:19
Hi Friends! On the podcast this week, we are touching on a touchy topic - manifestation, sage, and other practices. Yep we're going there.
Tune in as Damesha discusses what the Bible says about these practices and what can take place spiritually when one engages in these acts.
*Note - The scripture that Damesha refers to at the end is 1 Kings 18.
Hi Friends! On this episode, we celebrate Damesha's birthday! Tune in as she discusses what she learned in the last year and what she's looking forward to in this new chapter.
Hi Friends! This week on the podcast, we are discussing the art of self-control. So often, we are met with intersections in life where we decide to resist temptation or engage in our fleshly desires. But what about those times where the decision isn't as clear cut? What happens when the question becomes "I can but should I?"
Listen in as Damesha offers some helpful insight on the topic and how we can even become more selfless in the process.
Scripture References:
- Romans 14:14-19 NLT
- 1 Corinthians 10:23-24 NLT
Hi friends! On this episode we discuss something we all are struggling with (or have at some point) and that's adult friendships. How do we cultivate the friendships in our lives as full blown adults with demanding lives? How do we create meaningful and intimate friendships with likeminded people at this stage in our lives? Tune in as Damesha discusses it all and gives helpful tips to navigate through something we all need - community.
Hi Friends! This week, we're chatting with special guest Chinonye Agu, about how she lost over 100 pounds in 7 months and how her experience was supernaturally crafted by God.
Tune in as she shares her testimony, we discuss the connection between eating patterns and our relationship with God, and how we can be better stewards of our bodies.
Special Resources
- Chinonye's most recent book: "The Ninth Month"
- Taking Power Over Emotions with Brittney Moses episode
Hey friends! On this episode, Damesha speaks about what it looks like as a follower of Christ trying to glorify God by controlling our sexual desires. God is clear about His desires for us sexually BEFORE marriage but also these hormones? Yeah they're real.
Tune in as Damesha offers helpful insight as to how we can embrace how God designed us while also still living pure and holy lives before Him.
The episode you all have asked for is finally here and to be honest, this is probably our best episode to date. We take a deep (and sensitive) dive into the new song "Church Girl". Listen in as Damesha dissects the spiritual liberation that surfaced for some, issues a charge for the body of Christ, and the message she has for spiritual abuse victims.
Hey friends! We are back and ready to conquer the second half of this year. But are we back with stipulations? Take a listen and find out what God is doing these days!
Hi friends! This week on the podcast, we have special guest - Mercedes Carr. Mercedes is a licensed minister who founded Be Thou Made Whole Women's Fellowship and Crowned by Virtue Coaching Services.
On this episode, Damesha and Mercedes discuss all things Christian Entrepreneurship. If you are a Christian business owner or influencer, this is the episode for you!
WE HAVE A FREEBIE FOR YOU! Introducing our very first women's 7 day devotional titled "Who Has God Called Me to Be?" This is a devotional that you NEED in order to step into your God-ordained identity and purpose. Now is the time! Did we mention it's free?! Get yours here!
Hi friends! This week on the podcast, Damesha takes on a topic she didn't want to. One that is so hard to discuss but has to be explored. The topic the Lord needs us to have a clear understanding on. the topic of - idolatry. Pray before you listen.
WE HAVE A FREEBIE FOR YOU! Introducing our very first women's 7 day devotional titled "Who Has God Called Me to Be?" This is a devotional that you NEED in order to step into your God-ordained identity and purpose. Now is the time! Did we mention it's free?! Get yours here!
Hi friends! This week on the podcast, Damesha makes things fun with a Q&A session! That's right, she's answering all your juicy questions pertaining to the ministry and faith in general. Getyour popcorn and take a listen!
WE HAVE A FREEBIE FOR YOU! Introducing our very first women's 7 day devotional titled "Who Has God Called Me to Be?" This is a devotional that you NEED in order to step into your God-ordained identity and purpose. Now is the time! Did we mention it's free?! Get yours here!
Hi friends! This week on the podcast, Damesha discusses how you can better hear from God in your spiritual journey. Our Father yearns to have intimacy with us and daily communication with Him is the best way to achieve that. Communication goes both ways though. Take a listen to this episode to gain insight on what you can do to better hear from God during this time!
WE HAVE A FREEBIE FOR YOU! Introducing our very first women's 7 day devotional titled "Who Has God Called Me to Be?" This is a devotional that you NEED in order to step into your God-ordained identity and purpose. Now is the time! Did we mention it's free?! Get yours here!
Hi friends! This week on the podcast, Damesha discusses all things fasting. No not starving yourself. Not intermittent fasting. But spiritual fasting as you consecrate yourself unto God. Whether you've been fasting for years or you've never fasted before in your life, this episode has some major gems for you. Tap in!
WE HAVE A FREEBIE FOR YOU! Introducing our very first women's 7 day devotional titled "Who Has God Called Me to Be?" This is a devotional that you NEED in order to step into your God-ordained identity and purpose. Now is the time! Did we mention it's free?! Get yours here!
Hi friends! This week on the podcast, we have special guest - Pastor Alexandria Ward. Pastor Alex is the author of the five star book, LEAP: The Ultimate Guide to Extraordinary Leaps of Faith. She is the CEO, and lead strategist of ASW Network, LLC, a business that provides branding and marketing services to elite professionals. Pastor Alexandria Ward is also the founder of Run Your Grace—a faith-based community whose mission is to invigorate women on effectively operate in their purpose through mentorship, workshops, and events.
On this episode, Damesha and Pastor Alex discuss the necessity of one to die to their flesh and how we can tap into the power of grace by doing so. We all have something that we're wrestling with but the good news is that there is grace available for you!
WE HAVE A FREEBIE FOR YOU! Introducing our very first women's 7 day devotional titled "Who Has God Called Me to Be?" This is a devotional that you NEED in order to step into your God-ordained identity and purpose. Now is the time! Did we mention it's free?! Get yours here!
Hi friends! This week, Damesha talks about one hot topic - modesty. Why is modestly only talked about with women? Does God expect us to have every inch of our body covered? How can we begin to walk in modesty if we have never been taught this concept?
Listen, we're covering it all! Take a listen!
WE HAVE A FREEBIE FOR YOU! Introducing our very first women's 7 day devotional titled "Who Has God Called Me to Be?" This is a devotional that you NEED in order to step into your God-ordained identity and purpose. Now is the time! Did we mention it's free?! Get yours here!
Hi friends! We're back and ready to conquer 2022. This week, Damesha gets real about why she took a break and what she learned from God during her time away.
Did you know we had a website catered to all things Girl Talk? Check out past podcast episodes with show notes and our blog space catered to the Christian millennial woman! www.girltalkministry.com
In this season finale, Damesha explores what it means to live a life of gratitude in such chaotic times. Tune in as she gives shares her heart and gives the word of the Lord!
Did you know we had a website catered to all things Girl Talk? Check out past podcast episodes with show notes and our blog space catered to the Christian millennial woman! www.girltalkministry.com
Back again with another episode? Thats right friends, we're here weekly now!
This week, Damesha chats with Maia Brown-St. Aude. Maia is the founder of the She Talks Movement. Maia is also a podcast host, speaker, mental health advocate, and brand strategist. She uses her platforms to amplify and center the voices of Black, Brown, and Indigenous communities in hopes of affecting global and economic change.
On this episode, Damesha and Maia take a look at how one can obtain peace in the middle of a life storm, explore the role God plays in our storms and how we can rely on Him to make it through.
Did you know we had a website catered to all things Girl Talk? Check out past podcast episodes with show notes and our blog space catered to the Christian millennial woman! www.girltalkministry.com
Back again with another episode? Thats right friends, we're here weekly now!
This week, Damesha chats with Melissa Clark, a Christian therapist dedicated to assisting people thrive mentally and emotionally.
On this episode, Damesha and Melissa unpack why so many Christians are struggling with their mental health and what practical actions we can take to not only survive day to day, but thrive as Believers.
Did you know we had a website catered to all things Girl Talk? Check out past podcast episodes with show notes and our blog space catered to the Christian millennial woman! www.girltalkministry.com
Back again with another episode? Thats right friends, we're here weekly now!
This week on the podcast, Damesha shares a personal testimony of just how faithful Our Father is. Every now and then, it's vital that we share what the Lord has done for us. May this story edify you and spark the fire of faith within you. Get your tissue ready and take a listen!
Did you know we had a website catered to all things Girl Talk? Check out past podcast episodes with show notes and our blog space catered to the Christian millennial woman! www.girltalkministry.com
Back again with another episode? Thats right friends, we're here weekly now!
This week, Damesha chats with Brook Jeffery, minister and founder of A Life Laid Down, a blog designed to build the Church and edify the Kingdom of God through exhortation, transparency, and love.
On this episode, Damesha and Brooke discuss kingdom marriages and the attack that is on kingdom marriages at this time. Whether you're single, dating, or married - this episode is for you!
Special Resources
- Check out Brooke on Instagram
Did you know we had a website catered to all things Girl Talk? Check out past podcast episodes with show notes and our blog space catered to the Christian millennial woman! www.girltalkministry.com
Back again with another episode? Thats right friends, we're here weekly now!
This week on the podcast, Damesha celebrates her 26th birthday with her bestie- YOU! Tune in as Damesha shares some of her testimony, reflects on what she learned in year 25 and speaks on what she looks forward to in year 26.
Did you know we had a website catered to all things Girl Talk? Check out past podcast episodes with show notes and our blog space catered to the Christian millennial woman! www.girltalkministry.com
Back again with another episode? Thats right friends, we're here weekly now!
This week on the podcast, Damesha chats with Brittney Moses, social media's favorite mental health advocate who encourages the integration of faith, culture, and wellness. Brittney and Damesha take a deep dive into the pool of emotions and how we, as Believers, can take power over them in practical yet beneficial ways.
We discuss:
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We are bio, psycho, social, spiritual beings
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Bio- we have brains, bodies, and hormones thy impact our behavior
- Psycho - our mental framework is shaped by the experiences in our lives
- Social - wired for human connection (dopamine and oxytocin)
- Spiritual - the truth of who we were created to be - the objective truth
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If anyone of these go wrong, it can affect our mental health
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Emotions as messengers rather than disrupters
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What is the emotion trying to tell me?
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“God show me the root of this feeling”
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Emotional Awareness and Self control
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Being emotionally aware can assist us in having better control over our emotions and help us to be proactive.
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The "ABC's"
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activating event- what triggered the feeling?
- belief - what did you believe when it happened?
- consequence - what are the actions that you now want to take since?
Special resources:
- Check out Brittney's website!
- Listen to Brittney's latest episode of the Faith and Mental Wellness Podcast
Did you know we had a website catered to all things Girl Talk? Check out past podcast episodes with show notes and our blog space catered to the Christian millennial woman! www.girltalkministry.com
Back again with another episode? Thats right friends, we're here weekly now!
Are you currently waiting on a promise to manifest in your life? You've been waiting for way longer than what you want to and let's be real, longer than what you feel like you have to. What a tough place to be in, friends. We've all been there though but its time to understand that your waiting is not being done in vain. There is a purpose for this wait!
This week, Damesha chats about how we can wait well while God is moving behind the scenes.
Three Ways to Wait Well:
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Take your eyes off of the problem and look toward the promise
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Get around community that can speak life into you
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Serve the Lord with gladness
Special Resources
- Bible Commentary Damesha mentioned - "Enduring Word Commentary" (download the app for quick access!)
Did you know we had a website catered to all things Girl Talk? Check out past podcast episodes with show notes and our blog space catered to the Christian millennial woman! www.girltalkministry.com
Back again with another episode? Thats right friends, we're here weekly now!
Do you ever wonder why only some of your timeline appears to show their faith on social media? Like you know that one follower you have that loves Jesus but like never posts anything about her faith openly? Is there something going on inside of her that could be preventing her from stepping out into a deeper level of expression? Absolutely.
This week, Damesha chats with Victoria Adenkule, the host of The Daily Sunday Show, about what it looks like to share your faith online through social media. Victoria, otherwise known as The Christian Content Creator, on Instagram has taken sharing her faith online to new heights and shows us what it really looks like to be a Christian on social media.
We discuss:
Why people feel inclined to share their faith?
What are the factors that may keep people from sharing their faith?
Are we commissioned to share our faith online in this day and age?
How should Christian Content Creators navigate producing for their audience?
Special Resources
- Listen to Victoria 's podcast, The Daily Sunday Show, latest episode -
- Check out Victoria on Instagram
Did you know we had a website catered to all things Girl Talk? Check out past podcast episodes with show notes and our blog space catered to the Christian millennial woman! www.girltalkministry.com
Friends! We are back and we are better! We cant wait to see what God does this season. Get ready because its going to be amazing!
In this episode, we're journeying through what its like to experience burnout in this day and age. The pressure of the "hustle and bustle" lifestyle coupled with the feelings of guilt due to not performing in a way you deem as satisfactory. Yikes!
Do you struggle with burnout?
How do you bounce back from a season of burnout?
Can a season of burnout deepen our relationship with God?
We're going to talk about it all!
Did you know we had a website catered to all things Girl Talk? Check out past podcast episodes with show notes and our blog space catered to the Christian millennial woman! www.girltalkministry.com
Friends, this is the season finale! 10 episodes later, and man have I learned so much. So in this episode, I'm recapping 5 things I’ve learned thus far in 2021 and yes talking about my mistakes. It's also probably the most transparent I've ever been with you guys so yeah lets go!
5 things I've learned thus far in 2021:
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Consistency is probably the hardest thing to do.
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I like to look at being consistent as being committed to being committed.
- So many people saw what we produced but didn’t see the behind the scenes process.
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It's hard work but its rewarding when you see the fruits of your labor.
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Honor your relationships
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Take the time to check in with those around you, your circle of support.
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Apologize and adjust as needed. Don’t let pride kill your relationships.
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Despise not the small beginnings
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We often want to do all of these grand things- write a book, start a business, start a podcast, etc and most times we neglect to see the process it takes to make these things happen
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God needs you to build a sturdy foundation to ensure sustainability, with everything you touch. If you build off of likes, your brand won’t last. Build from purpose and allow God to bring you from small humble beginnings to large and grand platforms.
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Just because you can doesn’t mean that you should
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Because you’re getting the attention, doesn’t mean that you have to engage in it. If it’s not what God has for you, it could do you more harm
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Our goal as believers should not solely be to get to heaven but to also experience the fullness of God on Earth.
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Life is but a vapor
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Cherish the life that God has given you. You only have one.
Thank you guys for journeying with me on this podcast journey. Season one was a amazing and I can’t wait to see what God has in store for season two.
Did you hear the news?!?! WE'RE HOSTING A CONFERENCE! The There is More Conference is a virtual conference that will empower you to step into the next thing that God has for you - your purpose! We are so excited and we want to personally invite you to join us! Click here to see how you can gain exclusive access to all details for the conference. You don't want to miss it!
--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, Black women are three to four times more likely to die from pregnancy-related causes than white women. Why? There's a thousand reasons but the bottom line is that Black women are undervalued. Because our pain is sometimes overlooked and we are not seen equal to white women in the hospital room, we are dying at rapid rates during child labor and delivery. On this episode, Damesha spoke with Marchelle Pettit, a Certified Doula, Lactation Specialist, and Community Health Worker on the racial disparities seen in this realm and why Black Mothers Matter.
Damesha and Marchelle discuss:
Midwife? Doula?
- Both a midwife and a doula are apart of a woman's birthing team, but there is a distinct difference between the two.
- A midwife has authorization to perform any medical assistance that needs to take place during the labor and delivery.
- A doula only offers emotional, mental, and physical support to the mother during this time but does not offer any form of medical assistance.
The necessity of advocating for ourselves
- Unfortunately, if we don't advocate for ourselves as Black women, no one will advocate for us.
- A doula's goal is to never go against the medical advice but to support the mother 100% in what makes her comfortable.
What can a woman in her 20s do to prepare for their birthing experience
- Cater to her preconception health
- Many women believe that they should prepare for childbirth at the time that she is trying to conceive, but there should be steps taken before hand if she believes that she wants to conceive at any point in her life.
- Preconception health encompasses the wellness of a woman's physical, emotional, and mental state in efforts to prepare for childbirth.
Advice to to Black women who are believers, looking to become mothers
- Continue. To. Trust. In. God.
- "Understand that because its not happening now, that doesn't mean no."
Special Resources
- Follow Marchelle on IG here for more information on her position as a doula and birthing experiences!
- Postpartum Support International - https://www.postpartum.net Postpartum Support International - PSI
- Black Mamas Matter -https://blackmamasmatter.org/
- National Birth Equity Collaborative - https://birthequity.org
- March of Dimes -https://www.marchofdimes.org/pregnancy/pregnancy.aspx
- National Black Doulas Association -National Directory — National Black Doulas Association®
- National Association to Advance Black Birth - The NAABB – National Association to Advance Black Birth
--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
This is a heavy episode friends. But in the heaviness, we can't run from it. We have to ask for the strength to lean in and push through. Only God can help us with that. In this episode, Damesha addresses the Church and the inefficiencies seen throughout the body. If this message applies to you, say "ouch" and "amen". We all need to hear what's being presented.
A Message to the Church:
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In light of recent events, its imperative that we, as the body of Christ, are the reflection of Christ during this time.
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How are we supposed to win souls to Christ if we're treating people how the world treats them?
- Cancel culture? Coming from Christians? Problematic
-Is blocking an effective measure for Believers?
- Only if you're doing it for the right reasons
- Identify first, why you are being triggered and secondly, is blocking the only way to effectively handle the situation at hand?
- Does blocking a person make you feel like you're in control? Is that something you should be handing over to God?
- Blocking on social media vs blocking people you have real relationships with
-How to be the reflection of Christ during times of chaos and strife
- Partner with the Holy Spirit - what's being required of us as disciples of Christ takes the strength of the Holy Spirit.
- See people how God sees people - ask God to change your vision and assist you in seeing people as people
- Make empathy and love your mission - be committed to the cause of loving God's people
*Scripture Reference
- 1 Corinthians 12:12-27
Did you hear the news?!?! WE'RE HOSTING A CONFERENCE! The There is More Conference is a virtual conference that will empower you to step into the next thing that God has for you - your purpose! We are so excited and we want to personally invite you to join us! Click here to see how you can gain exclusive access to all details for the conference. You don't want to miss it!
--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
This is part two of the 2 part series - The Alpha Female. If you missed part one, you can catch it here
On this episode, Damesha spoke with Ariyanna Simmons, scholar and activist, on the profound dynamics of The Alpha Female. As an Alpha Female herself, Ariyanna has worked diligently to facilitate space in her professional and academic career for African American women to feel empowered to thrive on the path God has laid forth before them.
Damesha and Ariyanna discuss:
- Being a woman in a male dominated field
"We have to carve out spaces for us to exist and then be confident enough to stay there."
-The difficulties Black women face with White women
- Intersectionality
- The necessity of advocating for yourself
-The Exhaustion
- Learning how to "take up space"
- The opposition we face when we make the decision to proceed
"Self-care is revolutionary."
-Can Black women be oppressors too?
The dismissal of the realities of other Black people because it looks different from your experience perpetuates the silencing, leading to further oppression. Facilitate space for people to own their experiences.
-Dichotomy between work spaces and academic spaces
- Comfort in one and discomfort in the other depending on the structure
- Remember you have been placed in each space for a reason.
- White allyship
"God has called me to this space and since the Creator has called me to this space, I'm going to be everything He created me to be - IN. THIS. SPACE."
Special Resources
- Keep up with Ariyanna at @ariijayy_
- Check out the blog "The Truth About Black Women in the Workplace" that Damesha mentioned here
--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
This is part one of a 2 part series on a topic that so often gets overlooked. We, as a society, have gotten so accustomed to the gender struggle between women and men. We've done so much to ensure that women get a spot at the table with men, that we have merely disregarded the strife between Caucasian women and African American women in the professional sector. It's a battle. The battle of The Alpha Female that is.
On this episode, Damesha spoke with Ariyanna Simmons, scholar and activist, on the profound dynamics of The Alpha Female. As an Alpha Female herself, Ariyanna has worked diligently to facilitate space in her professional and academic career for African American women to feel empowered to thrive on the path God has laid forth before them.
Damesha and Ariyanna discuss:
- Being a woman in a male dominated field
"We have to carve out spaces for us to exist and then be confident enough to stay there."
-The difficulties Black women face with White women
- Intersectionality
- The necessity of advocating for yourself
-The Exhaustion
- Learning how to "take up space"
- The opposition we face when we make the decision to proceed
"Self-care is revolutionary."
-Can Black women be oppressors too?
- The dismissal of the realities of other Black people because it looks different from your experience perpetuates the silencing, leading to further oppression.
- Facilitate space for people to own their experiences.
-Dichotomy between work spaces and academic spaces
- Comfort in one and discomfort in the other depending on the structure
- Remember you have been placed in each space for a reason.
- White allyship
Special Resources
- Keep up with Ariyanna at @ariijayy_
- Check out the blog "The Truth About Black Women in the Workplace" that Damesha mentioned here
--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
T/W: mental health issues and suicide attempt
An issue that is so prevalent in our world, but yet so taboo within the Church - mental health and the struggles we face. Damesha and Jordyn Dunlap, entrepreneur and author of Abide, Arise, Ascend: An Unconventional Love Story, discuss what led her to her ultimate breaking point. In 2016, Jordyn found herself handcuffed to the hospital bed of a psychiatric ward, after she attempted to commit suicide. As we thank God for sparing Jordyn's life, we open the door for a larger conversation.
Damesha and Jordyn discuss:
Jordyn's testimony and what was it exactly that led her to Christ
- "Turn it on, turn it off" syndrome
- Sometimes our most traumatic situations can be ground for God to do some of His most ground breaking work.
The role of the church concerning mental health
- Has the church perpetuated the struggles many face mentally and emotionally?
- Disagreement doesn't equate to dishonor.
- Jesus has anointed the hands and minds of doctors and therapists.
The healing process
- Everyone's journey and healing processes are unique to what they need.
- Building that relationship with Christ to be able to identify what exactly He needs you to do to heal.
"Be the captivated bride. Enjoy being wooed and captivated by the Lord"
Dating someone who struggles with their mental health:
- Be open about where you are in your journey - with yourself and your partner
- Give grace to yourself in your healing process (Ex: don't allow your trauma triggers to derail you)
- COMMUNICATION
Piece of advice you would give to someone struggling with their mental health and receiving condemnation from the church.
- You are seen.
- You are loved by God.
- Surrender it all to the Lord in authenticity.
- Be willing to be honest with other people and yourself.
- The Lord is the only way to get to true healing
"Everything is going to be just fine."
Special resources
- Check out Jordyn's website at iamjordyndunlap.org and on IG at @iamjordyndunlap
- Get your copy of Abide, Arise, Ascend: An Unconventional Love Story here
- Check out Jordyn's Youtube channel here
- Keep up with Jordyn's nonprofit organization on IG at @ilivethemovement
--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
In this day and age, dating has been said to be one of the most trying and taxing experiences for both men and women. "Complicated" has been the most prevalent word used when referring to one's dating life. But what if it didn't have to be that way? What if you were blocking yourself from love? What if you were making your love life more complicated than what it was designed to be? I know right?!
Damesha and Kat Harris, of The Refined Collective, discuss how Kat keeps her faith strong as a single woman in her 30s who is choosing to wait to have sex until marriage, problematic aspects of the Christian dating culture, and her advice to a single Christian woman longing for a relationship.
Being single and choosing celibacy in your 30s
- "Giving myself permission to doubt is what keeps my faith strong"
- Choosing honesty about your experience and your feelings create an intimacy between God. This deepens the relationship between the two.
- "the Bible is full of really human humans"
- Let your cry be "help me in my unbelief"
Things that are plaguing the Christian dating culture
- There seems to be a hyper-spiritualization of dating stemming from the church.
- "Dating is a CURB, not a CLIFF."
- It's time to take the pressure off of the dating culture. Dating is supposed to be a fun experience, not pressure-filled.
- There also seems to be this intense desire for women wanting men to lead them. Women have become passive in their own love lives.
- What if women say they want to be led because it's easier than putting themselves out there?
"What an honor that I get to hang out with another person that God really loves"
Advice to single women longing for partnership
- You are seen.
- It's totally okay and acceptable for you to be excited about your relationship with God and also experience longing. It's a "both/and" concept.
- "If you don't heal your past, it will haunt you and prevent you from your future."
- Take ownership in showing up for the process of preparation.
- Your purpose doesn't hinge upon your relationship status. You have purpose right now.
Special Resources
- Check out Kat's website at therefinedwoman.com and on IG at @therefinedwoman
- Keep up with The Refined Collective podcast here and on IG at @therefinedcollective
- Kat's book, Sexless in the City: A Sometimes Sassy, Sometimes Painful, Always Honest Look at Dating, Desire, and Sex, is available for pre-order! Grab your copy here
- Check out the devotional, My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers, Kat mentioned here
--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Do you struggle in conflict? Do you get overwhelmed by spats? Are you passive aggressive or just plain aggressive when things get a little hectic in your relationships? In this episode, we're talking all things conflict and how we as Believers can handle conflict more effectively.
Damesha discusses:
Why people run away from conflict or seem to run towards it
The necessity of seeing and handling conflict through a spiritual lens rather than through the worldly/fleshly lens.
The importance of facilitating a space for people to grow and evolve.
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We have to give the people in our life room to grow and evolve. We have to normalize change and growth in people and not tie them to complacency through our own standards.
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Conflict can occur when the growth and change in others becomes inconvenient to us. “You acting different” "You wishy washy” This is why communication frequently is necessary.
My formula for handling conflict and effective communication with hard topics
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Communicator – leading in the conversation
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Your goal is to convey a message and get the other person to understand this
- Has the responsibility of ensuring that their message is received by the other person
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“I” speech – “When ___ occurred, I felt ____”
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Receiver – the person you are conversing with
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Your goal is to receive :)
- Has the responsibility to listen and ensure that you are not abandoning your duty to receive.
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Because you are not talking, does not mean that you don’t carry equal responsibility in effective communication.
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Both parties are responsible for effective communication but sometimes we know that won't always work. It may get heated, a person may be too distracted mentally or emotionally to continue on in the conversation, the conversation hits a wall etc. What should we do then?
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Communicator can do two things:
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If you are in the position to continue the conversation- Rework your stance to make it palpable to your receiver (Ex: Let me rephrase my statement to ensure you understand me)
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If you find that you are not in the position to continue the conversation - Table the conversation for another day when you are in a better position to tackle the components laid out.
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Receiver can do two things:
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If you are in the position to continue the conversation- see if there are things on your end that you need to get a handle on to better focus – do a self evaluation
- Maybe you’ve been fixated on one part of the conversation, a bad comment that stuck out, ask for them to clarify what they meant by that and work through that component
- If you’re not in the position to continue the conversation, you too have the right to say that we need to table this conversation.
"If you need to table a conversation, you are not a failed communicator, you are a responsible communicator."
- We can no longer shy away from hard conversations. Whether that’s with a friend, a family member, a coworker, etc.
We have to lean in and ask for the Holy Spirit to guide us.
Scripture References
- Matthew 18:15
- Ephesians 4:29
- Ephesians 4:31-32
- 1 John 4:20
--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
T/W - sexual trauma, sexual abuse
cues "Let's Talk About Sex" by Salt-N-Pepa Yep, if you haven't already guessed, we're talking about sex in this episode. Damesha and guest Taylor McElwain, of the Prayer Wall Podcast, journey through the complex components of our unique sexual experiences being sexual trauma survivors.
Damesha and Taylor discuss:
Testimonies of sexual abuse
- Difference between sexual sin and sexual desire
The discussion of sex in the church
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Purity Culture
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Purity culture can be defined as "the compilation of social constructs regarding purity and the actions enforced by the Church to ensure a woman is sexually abstinent prior to marriage" - Damesha Wells
- Purity is what we're called to biblically but the culture around the concept can be damaging.
Is masturbation a sin?
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For many of us, our first introduction to masturbation could have been when it was used a trauma response.
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Our innocence was robbed and we had to fight to feel okay at such a young age.
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The act of self-soothing, in whatever manner we see fit, becomes our way of coping with the trauma that has occurred to us.
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Self soothe means to “comfort oneself when unhappy or distressed”
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If your trauma response wasn't seen through hyper sexual behavior (Ex: pornography addictions, compulsive masturbation, and excessive lust.) it could have been seen in other areas of your life, completely unrelated to sexual behavior (Ex: aggression, withdrawal, immense sadness).
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“Don’t treat the symptoms and neglect the cause of the sickness.”
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On shows like My 600lb life, for example, all of the people on the show have to start therapy. Engaging in weight loss actions are fine, but until they determine the root of their behavior they are doing themselves a disservice and have greater chance of returning to unhealthy coping habits through food.
Is there a place to embrace your sexuality while living a life pleasing to Jesus and practicing celibacy?
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This seems like such a far-fetched and foreign concept because of how sex is discussed and depicted in our Christian culture
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Through seeking God, it's vital that you don't base your purity walk off of that of someone else's. Seek the Holy Spirit and allow Him to guide you.
Scripture References
- 1 Corinthians 10:31
- 1 Corinthians 6:19
- Psalm 139:14
Special Resources
- Check out the episode, from Taylor's podcast, that I was featured on here.
- Check out Part One and Part Two of the series we discussed on masturbation from Kat Harris' podcast The Refined Collective.
- Keep up with Taylor on instagram here and the Prayer Wall Podcast here.
--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
In this episode, we dive into what it truly looks like when your present circumstances aren't reflective of your expectations for yourself. We examine the heartache of this reality and how it may lead one to being frustrated with God. As Damesha divulges a trial she found herself in, in 2020, she takes you on the journey of when she found herself in that exact position. This is not a place where the Lord desires for us to stay though, so how are you supposed to move forward in confidence on the path the Lord has set forth for you? We're so glad you asked!
Three ways that one can live out their God-given dreams:
Determine your desires
- Some believe that the desires of our heart align with that of the Lord naturally because they are placed there by God.
- Its crucial for us to make the distinction between the desires of our Spirit and the desires of our flesh.
- Ex: It may be a desire of yours to be married. Your flesh may tell you to settle though with any person that seems as if they’d be a good catch. Your spirit man though will inform you to be patient and wait on who God has for you.
Take it to God in prayer
- Its one thing for us to desire things and go after them in faith, but it’s a different level of faith when we take these things to God in prayer.
- Taking our goals and dreams to God in prayer allows us to partner with God in the things He has for us.
- “Okay God these are my dreams. These are the goals I have to reach. How can I partner with you on this?”
Release the expectations
- The only expectation that we need to have is that God will act according to His word and His will for our lives.
- Because you may have asked for something and didn’t receive it, doesn’t mean that God is a liar. It just simply means that whatever that thing is, wasn’t apart of God’s will for your life.
- Rest and trust that whats for you, wont past you.
*Scripture References
- "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." - Isaiah 55: 8-9 NIV
- "The smallest family will become a thousand people, and the tiniest group will become a mighty nation. At the right time, I, the Lord, will make it happen.” - Isaiah 60:22 NLT
- "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end." - Ecclesiastes 3:11 NIV
- "And blessed is she that believed: for there shall be a performance of those things which were told her from the Lord." - Luke 1:45 KJV.
This season of the podcast is in loving memory of Misty Roseman. Forever in our hearts. Rest well. We love you.
The podcast will be officially launching on February 1st! We are so excited and cant wait for what this season has in store. Trust that we have a place for you here. All Things Current - All Things Christian. We got you covered. Stay tuned!