Essential Change: The Podcast: Recent Episodes
Richard
Helping Families, Health Practitioners, Clergy, and Social Service Professionals: Eliminate, Manage, and Prevent Destructive behavior, Detrimental Procrastination, and Relapse, using Life Style Management Systems and Leverage based conditioning. Visit www.2ndStarts.com for more information.
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Transformation is needed when circumstances and results suck. But how do you achieve transformation when the who, when, where, and why of change have not been defined, agreed to, or believed? In this podcast, I want to discuss the qualities of a genuine transformation, the distinction between primary and secondary transformation, and the three immediate steps necessary to bring a lasting transformation into focus and into practice.
Parenting Your Child in Recovery
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This podcast is a review of a show I just did with James Moffitt of the “ABCs of Parenting Adult Children” Podcast. James is a good friend who is doing magnificent work. I am proud to sponsor his show and his work. I'd like to take a few minutes to discuss my mission, my 'why,' and illustrate some of the basic tenets of Leveraged-Based, Tapered Life Management.
ATTENTION: FOR PARENTS of Young Adults 17–24 at risk, in trouble, or in transition into adulthood.
“You’ve Tried Everything… But He’s Still Slipping. Here’s What You Haven’t Been Told.”
🚨 Substance use ?, trouble with the law ?, lost potential?
You've tried everything: tough love, therapy, waiting on "rock bottom,"… and it's STILL not working.
But what if:
✅ The real change doesn't come from "fixing them"…
✅ It comes from YOU learning how to lead — with leverage, calm confidence, and a tapered plan
🎥 This video will open your eyes. Click below and Watch now!
https://parentingyourchildinrecovery.com
📞 📅 Click below to BOOK A FREE CALL – Talk with Our Team
https://schedulewith2ndstarts.as.me/
📘Click below to Learn More About Parenting Your Child in Recovery
https://linktr.ee/2ndStarts
💼 Section 3: THERAPISTS, COUNSELORS & PRACTITIONERS – Let's Partner Up
You help clients in session. We help their families between sessions.
🧠 When coaching parents and mentors in a structured, non-clinical framework, outcomes get stronger — and longer-lasting.
🤝 Our Leveraged-Based, Tapered Life Management program:
🧭 Reinforces clinical goals
📦 Equips the home system
👨👩👧 Works side-by-side with your care plan
🔗 click below to See How 2ndStarts Can Support Your Clients
https://parentingyourchildinrecovery.kit.com/73024ae689
📞 🤝 Book a Collaboration Call Now ( click below)
https://schedulewith2ndstarts.as.me/
🌱 Section 4: What is 2ndStarts + Parenting Your Child in Recovery?
2ndStarts isn't a theory—it's a movement.
We provide families with a system that works when everything else has failed.
📌 Who we help
🎯 What we teach
✅ How we track success
🙌 Why do families say, "This saved us"
🔍 Click below to Learn About the Program
https://linktr.ee/2ndStarts
Parenting Your Child in Recovery
Send us a text
Give your Young Adult A Competitive Edge
Providing your young adult with a competitive edge should be your top priority.
The first step is to set aside your negative perceptions, prejudices, and past injuries and focus on providing the Tools, weapons, knowledge, and Support necessary to ensure the best possible future.
Anything else is a roadblock
ATTENTION: FOR PARENTS of Young Adults 17–24 at risk, in trouble, or in transition into adulthood.
🚨 Substance use ?, trouble with the law ?, lost potential?
You've tried everything: tough love, therapy, waiting on "rock bottom,"… and it's STILL not working.
But what if:
✅ The real change doesn't come from "fixing them"…
✅ It comes from YOU learning how to lead — with leverage, calm confidence, and a tapered plan
🎥 This video will open your eyes. Click below and Watch now!
https://parentingyourchildinrecovery.com
📞 📅 Click below to BOOK A FREE CALL – Talk with Our Team
https://schedulewith2ndstarts.as.me/
📘Click below to Learn More About Parenting Your Child in Recovery
https://linktr.ee/2ndStarts
💼 Section 3: THERAPISTS, COUNSELORS & PRACTITIONERS – Let's Partner Up
You help clients in session. We help their families between sessions.
🧠 When coaching parents and mentors in a structured, non-clinical framework, outcomes get stronger — and longer-lasting.
🤝 Our Leveraged-Based, Tapered Life Management program:
🧭 Reinforces clinical goals
📦 Equips the home system
👨👩👧 Works side-by-side with your care plan
🔗 click below to See How 2ndStarts Can Support Your Clients
https://parentingyourchildinrecovery.kit.com/73024ae689
📞 🤝 Book a Collaboration Call Now ( click below)
https://schedulewith2ndstarts.as.me/
🌱 Section 4: What is 2ndStarts + Parenting Your Child in Recovery?
2ndStarts isn't a theory—it's a movement.
We provide families with a system that works when everything else has failed.
📌 Who we help
🎯 What we teach
✅ How we track success
🙌 Why do families say, "This saved us"
🔍 Click below to Learn About the Program
https://linktr.ee/2ndStarts
Parenting Your Child in Recovery
Send us a text
Your Pain Point!. The goal is not to upset you any more than you already are. The goal is to make your solution aware of the issue. The goal is to let you know that you can fix this problem, but unfortunately, we sometimes agitate feelings of guilt, shame, and blame. There is a mindset that allows you to understand this dynamic and still not waste precious moments recovering, fixing, and eliminating the source of pain.
Keep reading below.
Section 2: FOR PARENTS of Young Adults 17–24 in Crisis
🚨 Substance use, trouble with the law, lost potential?
You've tried everything: tough love, therapy, waiting on "rock bottom,"… and it's STILL not working.
But what if:
✅ The real change doesn't come from "fixing them"…
✅ It comes from YOU learning how to lead — with leverage, calm confidence, and a tapered plan
🎥 This video will open your eyes. Click below and Watch now!
https://parentingyourchildinrecovery.com
📞 📅 Click below to BOOK A FREE CALL – Talk with Our Team
https://schedulewith2ndstarts.as.me/
📘Click below to Learn More About Parenting Your Child in Recovery
https://linktr.ee/2ndStarts
💼 Section 3: THERAPISTS, COUNSELORS & PRACTITIONERS – Let's Partner Up
You help clients in session. We help their families between sessions.
🧠 When coaching parents and mentors in a structured, non-clinical framework, outcomes get stronger — and longer-lasting.
🤝 Our Leveraged-Based, Tapered Life Management program:
- 🧭 Reinforces clinical goals
- 📦 Equips the home system
- 👨👩👧 Works side-by-side with your care plan
🔗 click below to See How 2ndStarts Can Support Your Clients
https://parentingyourchildinrecovery.kit.com/73024ae689
📞 🤝 Book a Collaboration Call Now ( click below)
https://schedulewith2ndstarts.as.me/
🌱 Section 4: What is 2ndStarts + Parenting Your Child in Recovery?
2ndStarts isn't a theory—it's a movement.
We provide families with a system that works when everything else has failed.
📌 Who we help
🎯 What we teach
✅ How we track success
🙌 Why do families say, "This saved us"
🔍 Click below to Learn About the Program
https://linktr.ee/2ndStarts
Parenting Your Child in Recovery
Send us a text
When the mission is unclear, the work is that much harder. To use a football analogy, Our current system wants to teach our young adults how to do a great endzone dance and spike the ball, but we don't want to teach the basics of blocking and tackling.
Blocking is recognizing and blocking out distractions. Blocking out those who have doubtful words and actions against Your child's recovery efforts.
Tackling involves aggressively taking actions that change habits, which in turn change outcomes.
It's all about coming together as a team and knowing what your true vision of a championship is.
Parenting Your Child in Recovery
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Preparing Your Young Adult to Handle Hidden Resistance
One of the most overlooked but critical parts of preparing a young adult for lasting recovery—or any serious self-improvement—is helping them understand how people around them might react when they start to change.
We expect enemies and strangers to doubt them.
We don't always expect that some of the toughest resistance will come from people who love them.
Sometimes, when a young adult starts showing real growth—building better habits, setting clearer boundaries, standing stronger—people close to them feel unsettled. It’s not necessarily malice or cruelty. It’s fear. It’s sadness. It’s a sense of being left behind.
The important thing to prepare them for is this: Not every negative reaction they get is a sign they’re doing something wrong. More often, it's a sign they're doing something right.
When growth exposes old wounds in others, the easiest thing for a young adult to do is to shrink themselves back down to fit. To stop growing so fast. To apologize for wanting better.
But the truth is: they’re not responsible for making everyone else comfortable with their progress.
Here’s what you can do to prepare them:
1. Normalize It Early:
Let them know it’s normal if a friend or family member seems irritated, distant, or critical. Change creates waves.
"Sometimes when you start doing really well, it can make others feel things they don’t know how to say. That’s about them, not about you."
2. Frame It as a Positive Indicator:
Help them reframe emotional distance or minor pushback as evidence that they’re growing—and that growth is often contagious, even if it’s uncomfortable at first.
"You're not leaving people behind—you’re showing them it’s possible to move forward. Some will catch up. Some won’t. Either way, you’re lighting the way."
3. Teach Steadiness, Not War:
The goal isn’t to fight back or "prove" anything. It's to stay steady, kind, and focused. Model how to keep moving without resentment or bitterness.
"Stay open-hearted. Keep your boundaries clear. Let your actions speak louder than any argument."
4. Encourage Self-Validation:
Recovery and growth are already hard enough without waiting for applause. Teach them how to validate themselves internally so they aren’t dependent on outside approval to stay on course.
"You're doing this for you. Be proud of every small step, even if no one else notices yet."
Remember:
You can't clear every obstacle for them.
But you can plant truths in them now that will carry them through the tougher moments later.
Prepare them for the unexpected emotional storms—and they’ll learn to sail right through them.
Your love, your words, and your preparation can give your young adult the confidence to keep growing, even when it's hard.
Parenting Your Child in Recovery
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In today's podcast, I will discuss the third vital part of communication: Creativity.
Communication is not limited to what you take in, hear, see, and feel, and what you put out in the form of speaking, writing, and expressions but what you put out for the work to consume.
Without the ability to determine and execute your creative expression, your young adult is doomed to frustration.
This seminar series is not about traditional rehab models. Instead, it’s about Leveraged-Based Tapered Life Management—a proven system that turns external accountability into internal habit and sets young adults up for sustainable success.
Parents and mentors, you deserve a clear, actionable path to support your young adult’s transformation. You’ll learn how to:
✔ Build an effective support network without feeling overwhelmed.
✔ Help your young adult make an immediate 180-degree turn toward success.
✔ Eliminate the guilt, shame, and blame that often stall progress.
✔ Equip them with a Maximum Achievement Mentality for lifelong success.
📞 Book a Call Today
📖 Get the Quick Book
🔹 Your child’s recovery is possible.
🔹 Your role is essential.
🔹 Let’s build a plan for long-term success together.
📍 Stay Tuned for Official Seminar Dates & Locations!
For more details, visit:
🌐 2ndStarts.com
🌐 ParentingYourChildInRecovery.com
📧 RichardJones@2ndStarts.com
ParentingYourChildInRecovery #2ndStarts #YoungAdultRecovery #BreakTheCycle #ParentingSupport #FromPainToProgressToPride #RecoveryTransformation
Parenting Your Child in Recovery
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In today's episode, I want to throw it back to my first full podcast. I talked about the five things I wanted you to know about the show. At the start of this journey, which commences on September 14th, 2020, I didn't know what I was doing, much like now, but I was optimistic, much like now. It was always about making a team of people and doing tasks to help the families of young adults in trouble. I wanted to emphasize TEAM. I wanted to talk about PREVENTION. I wanted to join everyone who had the same mission as I did. Nothing has changed, but this is a fun recap and trip down memory lane.
This seminar series is not about traditional rehab models. Instead, it’s about Leveraged-Based Tapered Life Management—a proven system that turns external accountability into internal habit and sets young adults up for sustainable success.
Parents and mentors, you deserve a clear, actionable path to support your young adult’s transformation. You’ll learn how to:
✔ Build an effective support network without feeling overwhelmed.
✔ Help your young adult make an immediate 180-degree turn toward success.
✔ Eliminate the guilt, shame, and blame that often stall progress.
✔ Equip them with a Maximum Achievement Mentality for lifelong success.
📞 Book a Call Today
📖 Get the Quick Book
🔹 Your child’s recovery is possible.
🔹 Your role is essential.
🔹 Let’s build a plan for long-term success together.
📍 Stay Tuned for Official Seminar Dates & Locations!
For more details, visit:
🌐 2ndStarts.com
🌐 ParentingYourChildInRecovery.com
📧 RichardJones@2ndStarts.com
ParentingYourChildInRecovery #2ndStarts #YoungAdultRecovery #BreakTheCycle #ParentingSupport #FromPainToProgressToPride #RecoveryTransformation
Parenting Your Child in Recovery
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Guilt, Shame, and Blame are the cancers of the family of young adults in trouble. These three cancers inhibit forgiveness and progress. Trouble in a family is no respecter of persons or positions, and it can and will strike the best and worst of us. All three, as a team, will destroy futures and destroy happiness. They ( Guilt, Shame, and Blame) are used as weapons to mask perceived weaknesses and provide a false sense of defense. Until we learn to acknowledge these cancers, we can never move on toward healing and, ultimately, prosperity.
Parenting Your Child in Recovery
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Moving forward when the way is unclear requires the right motivation and a leap of faith. Turning the lights on is not always as easy as flipping a switch. In today's Podcast we talk about initiating essential change when
the people we need to help don't hear the message.
This thought was born from a conversation with friends in my podcast mastermind group. Meaningful conversation for situations when failure is not an option but you don't feel heard.
Parenting Your Child in Recovery
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Judgment, for better or worse, is one of our most prominent human conditions. When we judge ourselves, the people we love, and the processes we build as a society, we can't see what's really important. None of us are immune to judgment, but we must develop the ability to shed judgment as quickly as possible and move toward solutions. Judgment can be a detrimental and unforgivable waste of time when our priority should be the life of someone we love.
Parenting Your Child in Recovery
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Opportunity in detrimental situations is a life-saving skill for the parents and mentors of young adults in trouble. In one minute, what seems like an inevitable disaster can lead to new opportunities and possibilities. In this podcast, we look at the "Wall" Attitude and Vision, which can turn a life around in the direst of conditions and create a life worth living.
Parenting Your Child in Recovery
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Is a transformation just a matter of stringing together a new set of actions, or is it a complete change of one's self? As professional or volunteer helpers, we rely on suggesting a new set of actions when we look to help a young adult and their family create a new path. Does the mere implementation of these actions constitute an immediate change, or does the accumulation of these actions bring about, in time, a more profound realization of who they are?
Parenting Your Child in Recovery
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Are you afraid to " Want " for your troubled child? What you want for your child can come from a limiting place or a place of abundance and increase. What is in your past in terms of what you deserve or what you can achieve that influences how you want for your child? Taking a look at your attitudes can accelerate the possibilities of your child's future.
Parenting Your Child in Recovery
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Rejection is a part of life, and learning to deal with it can make all the difference between success and failure. When feelings of rejection put your family's future at risk, it is time to confront those feelings and re-see, re-design, and re-commit to a better way of handling the rejection emotion and saving your young adult's life.
Parenting Your Child in Recovery
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On today's podcast, I wanted to associate the fire prevention acronym R.A.C.E with the emergency we experience when someone we love, our young adult, is in trouble. Setting a clear path plan that is not about blame or guilt that sets the mindset and the tone for success is possible when we start the right way.
Parenting Your Child in Recovery
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Welcome to the "Parenting Your Child in Recovery" Podcast. Let's talk about Changing your families future and transforming your young adults life.
Turning early sobriety into long-term sobriety requires more than "cheerleading." It should not include "preparing for relapse." It requires your direct involvement and a program that sends your young adult in a new direction with a new focus.
Parenting Your Child in Recovery
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The act of using Willpower is weak. It is a defensive position that seeks to defend the indefensible. In this show, we will discuss four other ways you and your young adult can use your power in ways that aim to make an Essential Change that moves life forward.
Parenting Your Child in Recovery
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Every action and reaction to addiction or behavioral problems in our adults is a form of asking for help. Today, I want to talk about the phenomenon we call " The Help Syndrome." I see it as the delicate dance between the " ASK" for help and the relation between our answers and the actually heard answers.
Parenting Your Child in Recovery
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In today's show, " The Biggest Question in Recovery," I wanted to talk about a recent post I sent to some of the face groups I have been privileged to be a member of. I raised the question, " I had an unexpected question asked by someone I care deeply about yesterday. " Why should I bother even trying to stop drinking and doing drugs ?". How would you answer that?" There were so many exciting responses and insights. I wanted to share my thoughts.
Parenting Your Child in Recovery
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Today, I want to discuss the very first order of business: Commitment. Without it as the first and primary focus, there can be no Recovery. Commitment is faith realized in three stages: Process, Follow through, and Outcome.
Parenting Your Child in Recovery
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In this episode of " Parenting Your Child in Recovery," we talk about " Hitting it off Right." A young adult is at the starting point of their life. It is so important to start as strong as possible. Using a golfing analogy, for every degree the start is off target, it becomes harder to avoid missing the fairway, landing in the bunker, or worse, in the water.
We also talk about my desire to start back with the interview show,
The Soap Box" I interview people involved in Recovery, hearing about current projects and their strong opinions about Recovery. It is a fast-paced, fun interview that lets people "Get up on their Soap Box."
Parenting Your Child in Recovery
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Today's show is called " A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing"—dangerous things dressed as safe and comfortable. As parents, mentors, and families, we want to see our young adults safe, and that is the picture we paint. The wolf is easier to spot if you look for him in obvious places, such as signs, symptoms, and risk factors.
Parenting Your Child in Recovery
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Today's show highlights the danger of a simple phrase, "It's just a phase." When dealing with teens or young adults at risk for trouble, Phases are warnings of danger and opportunities to intervene. We briefly examine the five stages of addiction in teens and young adults and suggest a mindset that looks to get the jump on disaster.
Parenting Your Child in Recovery
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Today's show is a thank-you shout-out to Shelleen B. She was kind enough to respond to my post in FB group " Both sides of Addiction". Her short paragraph summed up my entire message. It was inspirational. I took a few minutes to thank her and her family and briefly analyzed just what it meant to me.
Parenting Your Child in Recovery
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Your family's mindset towards recovery is not the product of hocus pocus or trickery; it is a choice. This PC is a modest rant against those who believe "mindset" is a gimmick and not their highest priority.
Parenting Your Child in Recovery
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In my opinion, recovery, or any essential change, can only be achieved by a mindset change. The most important of those mindsets is a creativity mindset. In this quick PC, I introduce Creativity as a must-have in the toolbag. And Remember, Let's get out there and help somebody Get Better, Stay Better, and Be Better.
Parenting Your Child in Recovery
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I'm happy to be back talking to the parents and mentors of young adults in recovery! Today, here's a quick recap of our mission and a little about my new baby boomers and Gen Xers group. Also, here is a quick preview of this week's upcoming Zoom call, where we will discuss the topic of " Creation" and its role in the recovery process of your young adult.
Remember to help somebody Get Better, Stay Better, and Be Better.
Parenting Your Child in Recovery
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Today we take a look at a post that highlights some of my signature views on Recovery:
Our children are strong and built for big destinations. Leaving harmful substances behind is just the beggining of the journey. Clearing that obstacle will reveal opportunities without limit.
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In this Group Cast I want to discuss this post:
Don't be afraid to make it about mission and passion. It is scary, but you can't go wrong. Accept support and forgive your detractors.
Lets break it down and see how we feel about it!
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In this Group cast, I wanted to explain just what I mean by using the term " Unreachable" . I wanted to explain my views and thoughts on responses to the post.
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Advocate for Prevention. Most of us in this forum have experienced the pain of substance use and behavioral problems. We should be strong advocates for Prevention. Prevention not only helps those behind us who will travel the same dangerous pathways, but the tools, skills, and mindset associated with Prevention are the same tools that destroy the threat of relapse: share and benefit.
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Asking the question, Disease or Choice. This phrase is the Substance Use version of the Chicken or the Egg. Can you have one without the other? Does it even matter? Is there an ultimate answer?
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Lets talk about this post:
Your family must adopt a determined outcome mindset, seeing and feeling, and only give life to the results you want. Failure is not a viable option anyway. Make the only real goal the most significant goal you can imagine. Failure is not a feasible option. We accept the pain without question, but we freely question our rights to happiness.
A life map is a set of beliefs that point to a destination. These beliefs can be true or false, but the map does not care. In this episode, we will tell you and your child how to see the map for what it is and eventually learn how to erase the old map and create a new one with your chosen destination.
There is no room for failure in your child's Recovery. Today, I want to talk about the elephant in the room. All statistics and horror stories point to failure having the upper hand in the recovery game. Like most things, it is a mindset, but whenever there is more than one party involved, the mindset is very complicated. It is like whack a mole. As soon as you get two, the third one rears up its ugly head. The importance of plan, direction, and momentum is so very important.
Welcome back to "Parenting Your Child in Recovery". Today, we want to talk about what we think is the biggest lie told to you by the recovery community ( Treatment systems and treatment professionals). Yes, they know a lot of facts, but what they don't know is your child. So often, they will attempt to impress you with facts, figures, and statistics, and you are talked down to if you question them. It is time for you to understand you have the big megaphone in the room. Learn to use it.
I teach parents of young adults in recovery the skills they need to support their child's continued sobriety
https://linktr.ee/2ndStarts
Facebook Group " Parenting Your Child in Recovery"
https://bit.ly/3BsVkeZ
Steve Knapp is an Addiction Recovery Coach and Co-host of the "Through the Glass Recovery Podcast." Steve's Soap Box issues are the Normalization of drinking in general, Addiction in the workplace, and how Addiction remains misunderstood in our society. Steve hails from Canada and loves spur of the moment travel. You can find Steve at Through the Glass Recovery: throughtheglassrecovery.com and on all social media platforms (Instagram, Facebook, Tiktok, LinkedIn) @throughtheglassrecovery
For more information about the free Zoom meetings they host on Monday nights at 8:30 pm EST, visit our website and sign up for their weekly newsletter. Our Podcast - Through the Glass Recovery Podcast - can be found on any podcast listening platform.
The podcast that speaks directly to the Parents and support network of Young Adults in Recovery and the helping professionals who work so hard to help them in their journey.
Shout out to my friends at TherapyEverywhere
Created and currently manage my website ( 2ndStarts.com )
Based in Isreal and ( at my last contact ) they are well
I was privileged to be a guest on the " Through the Glass Recovery Podcast " podcast.
Format: formerly addicted guest panel
Gracious enough to allow me to sit in and offer comments
I learned so much in those situations
Topic: Boundaries
The very nature of a Boundary
Takes energy to confront, and friction creates energy
always very Hard.........Relationships
Anticipation
Let the pursuit of Internal Boundaries do most of the" heavy lifting."
Relationship between You and You
Ability to make and keep promises to yourself
Self Discipline:
Time and event management
mental and emotional regulation
Impulse control
Let's Welcome Sbelia ( Lia) Smith to the Soap Box. Shelia is the Author and owner of the Red Cup Diaries Coaching Recovery and Support. She is an addiction support advocate, a sales and marketing specialist, and an economic justice advocate.
Her Soap Box issues are :
Everyone should have the chance to Recover, regardless of status
Recovery is ongoing
Behavioral Change as a Recovery Option
Accountability
Her ( Shelia ) special projects are the Red Cup Diaries, the Building Mom project, and a new Business coaching app in production.
LiaRuthSmith@gmail.com
Favorite Color: Red
Favorite Movie: The Princess Bride
Favorite Food: Italian
On the first episode of " The Soap Box," I interview Martin Lockett, a substance use counselor, author, and speaker, about his journey from incarceration to a national speaking tour and his mission of hope and practical advice to families of young adults in recovery.
@MartinLockett
MartinLockett.com
Regardless of how many people place any stigma upon you, the real problem is that you are one of them. To be deceived by your perception of your condition must be addressed immediately for what it is—a Deception of Condition.
Is moving past an addiction a matter of choice? Finding myself on the less confident end of a debate with an experienced practitioner, I contemplated the ramifications of giving ground to the notion of choice versus compulsion and just what is the fundamental role of a professional helper.
In this episode, I wanted to expand on a great podcast I had the privilege of listening to. It is called Collateral Damage by Brandi Mac. She has an associated site called The Apathetic Journey. She has some interesting comments about the addiction industry and first-hand experiences caring for a loved one, and I couldn't help tossing in a few remarks of my own.
Continuing to add straws will eventually break the camel's back. That's simple science. Persistent habits will help you reach the goal if you understand the 3 phases of mastering any task: the awkward, mechanical, and natural.
You are what you think and feel. Your attitude is who and what you bring to each obstacle. Once you determine the task, Assume the attitude and step into that alter ego. Insecurity and doubt fade away when you become the superhero of your story.
Time is money, time is peace of mind, and time is misery. Whatever you invest your time in, you will return more of what you invest. You invest all the time, and we need to be sure we are directing that effort in ways that enrich and empower us because you will get a return regardless of your intent, so choose wisely.
Take the first step in a long, lasting Recovery by learning to accept who you are. Without learning to accept who you are, you leave yourself open to the prison of trying to gain acceptance from others, which is often a trap and a prison.
Creating change is easier than maintaining change. Working from purpose and a daily connection to your long-term Recovery is critical. Today we will discuss some straightforward but necessary steps to making your Recovery stick for the long haul.
Dedication to the repetition of new habits leads to mastery. Mastering those new habits gives you flexibility and confidence in facing challenges. This strength is necessary to live by our goals and not our situation.
Most people finding themselves in a Recovery situation or needing a Major change in life are searching for a message. Are you sending the message you want to represent yourself or a default message that illustrates your pain instead of who you want to become and be? The truth is you are sending a message through your appearance, your actions, and your attitude.
Insight is the awareness and understanding of one's condition or situation. In a Recovery situation, there are conflicting views regarding ability and potential. How do we develop the trust to see it differently?
A Long term Recovery process can look like a huge closed door, but like all doors, they open with small hinges that make movement easier. The hinges needed to open big doors are a clear direction, specific and consistent habits, and grounded faith and persistence.
An Organic Recovery system is an approach to Recovery that allows the body and mind's natural ability to heal and operate at full strength. Using these natural assets, we take all the other treatments and therapies to the highest level possible.
The odds are, if you find yourself in a recovery situation, you are still determining where you fit in. Like fitting a square peg into a round hole, Discomfort, the comparison game, and expectations cloud your ability to know and show how you fit in this world. Get a vision, break down limiting beliefs, and engage. Make your place.
You must sell your Recovery to yourself. Until you believe it, it won't sell. Your offer is your service to others and your gratitude to those here to help you on your journey. Be a solution for others and then a solution for yourself.
Permit yourself to evaluate your successes and failures. To feel comfortable with your Recovery, you must feel authorized to speak about it, to be about it. This permission must come from you to make it authentic, and it must be original and effective.
Recovery is hard; make no mistake if you have not had to experience it! The key is using the tools and advice as efficiently as possible. Evaluating and questioning your progress, strengths, and weaknesses will provide the map to getting the most out of your efforts and making the long hard road easier.
If you do not have a thought Process ( For Your Recovery ), get one!
A Thought process in recovery is the only real plan for success.
Like a good map, it will tell you how to get where you want.
Relationships are the direct ties to being human, and being human is the essence of Recovery. Methods and strategy will only do good if you can manage the vibrations between you and the people you love and live with.
This episode asked you to consider building your Support Network with an end goal. Who is in Your Support Network? Are they there by default? Do they understand what kind of support you need or want? Do they possess information or materials that can help you?
What would you change if you knew you would live to be 100 years old? How would you treat your body? How would you treat your mind? Are you choosing Death as an Option? These could be the best questions to start a recovery. Living to be 100 years old is unexpected but very possible, and for some, it happens without a plan; for some, recovery is that plan.
There is a place and time when even the most troubled can feel and tell their truth. Help them find that place and be there to hear it. For some, it is a place of safety; for others, it is rock bottom. Regardless, keep your eyes open and help whenever and wherever you can.
What is your experience worth to you or anyone else, and if it does provide value, do you know how to communicate that experience? Put some time and effort into letting your knowledge help someone today.
What do a Super Hero Movie and a Recovery have in common? Like many of those movies, statistics will tell you it was a success, but there are sure a lot of wrecked buildings and is the bad guy beaten for good?
Recovery is serious business, but everything serious needs some levity and association with fun now and then. The Bumper Cars were one of my childhood favorites. For me, parallels to the Recovery Process are evident and relevant. It is about expecting the bumps and attacks and getting back into the fight.
Resentment towards an Essential Change is common due to the story you tell yourself about yourself and the feelings you mirror onto those who are honestly trying to help you. There is also an associated fear of losing painfully comfortable feelings of guilt, low expectations, and punishment.
Affirmations and journaling are classics for a reason. You ultimately tell yourself how to feel and what to do. Words that leave doubt about the ending, evade ownership, that do not represent how you think are weak.
When we try to get young people to buy into our version of Recovery, We can't assume they are buying what we are selling. We need to be clear about What we have for sale, what they want, and whether they have the necessary currency to make a lasting, sustainable, Transformation.
So many times, we, as Healthcare professionals and volunteers, believe that we are automatically being paid attention to because we are trying to help. No one owes us their attention; it is given or solicited. The message only hits home when both are present.
When you think of someone working with complete attention, you think of someone who will eventually succeed. Real Intention is selfish, reserved for what you need or want. Luck is the opposite. Luck leaves room for the intentions of anyone else or anything.
Outside of slavery or Coercion, we choose each of our actions. Both poor decisions and good decisions create momentum. Momentum fuels direction and direction determines destination.
The fear of getting better is real. Releasing excuses for one's perceived failures or shortcomings must be abandoned for a real transformation. Letting go of the need for pity versus the admiration of others can stand in the way of Essential Change.
Using the Wizard of Oz as an analogy, there is no place like home. Yes, there was a yellow brick road, helpful friends, and a wizard that knows all, but the truth is, we are always home.
Recovery is an opportunity, plain and simple. When "You," as a person or a family, are in this position, you understand your clearly defined starting point. Even in this scenario, your choice of actions and direction are virtually unlimited. It is all of our jobs to adopt this attitude.
Keeping your eye on the ball is not just fitting advice for football season but an excellent analogy for the Recovery process. The direction for recovery must be seen, caught, secured, and taken to the goal.
Everybody with similar problems should have similar goals to free them from painful circumstances. While necessary, Goals do not have power without their component parts. Daily tasks, activities, and attitudes give Goals meaning.
In some instances, it may be a mistake to assume we understand what normal conditions are. Recovery has two definitions that I am particularly interested in. first is a " return to a normal or healthy condition." The second is " the act of obtaining usable substances from unusable sources.
The Good, Better, and Best of Recovery. Management, Elimination, and Prevention represent the three primary goals of a recovery outcome. While considering each a victory of sorts, elevating Prevention in our collective mindset would be the most significant victory in the Recovery community.
In a military sense, the element of surprise leverages power against an enemy's strength. The entity that controls the attack's rhythm, pace, and substance has a clear advantage—keeping the forces that fuel addiction off balance and under siege is the perfect strategy for a healthy recovery.
Security provides the basis to obtain a clearly planned objective in a military operation. In the Recovery process, security begins as an act of faith that develops into a life-saving skill. The helping professionals and the support network must understand that the flow of information and healing is directly proportional to how the client and/or loved one reveals their pain and moves toward Recovery.
In a military objective, the unity and cohesion of command are crucial. In Recovery, we need multiple commanders with a faithful and united effort to achieve a necessary goal. The current structure of treatment fixes the fundamental issue. The recovery chain consists of the client, the support group, and the helping professionals. The end goal should be to reduce the helping professional's ego, increase the client's esteem, and reduce the support group's confusion.
In the Art of War, Maneuvering is the deliberate movement of forces against the enemy to gain an advantage. In the Art of Recovery, maneuvering your attributes is to preserve freedom of action and demonstrate your initiative.
As in War, We must know who we are, what we do well, and how to maximize those attributes to create as much force needed to win Recovery. This enemy does not respond to brute force but to continual realization and adjustment.
To recover is to identify, keep, and exploit your initiative. Going on the offense is the only authentic way to reach a clearly defined transformation. Being aggressive requires disruption. You must attack norms and firmly establish your desired endpoint.
The mission of recovery is no less important than the mission of the war. To realize a clearly defined purpose, to build a team that describes the task, to create an organization, and to achieve clear communication between all aspects of the effort.
It is clear we have superior knowledge of the problem ( addiction ) and expertise in treatment. What is less clear is the ability of clients and support systems to absorb that information.
Overwhelming Force reduces the friction of the recovery process. Energy and resources spent now will mean less pain in the future. We must use every weapon and enlist every soldier in this fight.
When the focus is on recovery, it is, many times, easy to forget. Let the practitioners focus on the problems. Let us focus on the new person we are creating. Creating a pattern for recovery forces our attention and actions in the right direction.
Recovery prevention is intelligent but not a novel idea. Over 300 years ago, Ben Franklin coined the phrase, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. In the context of recovery, it is an idea we must work harder to make more popular.
Our present mindset towards recovery is much too passive. Relapse is a potential, not an option. Let us think of " Emergency" the first and every time threats to life and future present themselves.
Recovery is not a destination; it is a direction. To think of endpoints slows the velocity and limits the possibilities. We should all strive for the act ( or acting) of recovery and the transformation it brings.
Handouts, graphs, and charts are ok, but if you want to nail down, and I mean Nail Down !, the essential principles of recovery, you need to make clear that self Agency, Deception of Condition, and Leaning into support, or you're just wasting time.
The Mantra, " Leave no man ( no person) behind," has given ultimate confidence to our most respected fighting forces. Each person in the battle for recovery deserves that same confidence.
The Aesop fable, The tortoise and the Hare, can be considered a worthy cliche for the recovery process. Cliche or not. This ( The recovery process) is a race between life and death.
Today's podcast speaks to what I believe are the four most important areas to be addressed when formulating a recovery plan. Some aspects of each are a must for a long-lasting and complete recovery.
Today on Essential Change the Podcast, I wanted to speak about our return to action. It has been since January, and we wanted to get back to sharing our message with the families of young adults in recovery.
Dope Sick: Second Impression
My thoughts on 3 character types and their relationship to the treatment process. The Unwitting, the Unscrupulous, and the Undecided. These pose the biggest threat of distraction for families needing and wanting professional assisted recovery. The only protection from the harmful effects of the trio is a promotion of self (family) reliance.
Try these three things as a family.
Expand the base of support. Look to involve respected relatives, old teachers, community leaders. You never know which straw of support will help break the back of an addiction problem.
Identify and attack an empowering destination. While respecting the present and treatable situation, attention must fixate on a life-changing reality.
*Every minute being progressive is a minute stolen from self-destruction. Don't take for granted any moments when healing. Every positive thought and action is treatment in and of itself.
MOTHERSandFATHERSagainstADDICTIONandRELAPSE
The first and basic impressions of the Hulu mini-series Dope sick. The hook and vehicle is the Pain. Pain is the source and the reason to help and to exploit. Episode 1 highlights it physically and socially and we contrast it with our intentions, as professional helpers and healthcare workers, towards the people helped and harmed by this crisis.
Let's take a look at the beginning of the latest Opioid Crisis. The new Hulu Series " Dope Sick" details the corporate beginnings of the 1990's push to establish opiate use mainstream. The quest to destroy Pain or our County.
This Podcast will introduce our New Facebook Community, "Mothers and Fathers Against Addiction and Relapse". This community will be a place where very concerned family and loved ones, especially Mothers and Fathers, share feelings and experiences with each other and with experienced Addiction Professionals. It is my hope we can clear up misconceptions and misinformation and provide some real " Where Do I Go From Here" type information for the Group. If you are a concerned family member or Addiction professional listening, it is my strong hope you join us and lend your experience, advice, and encouragement.
Following the Leader is not always a good long term strategy for those struggling with a compromised or stubborn recovery. A better result may be gained by installing New Leadership.
So just what is the #1 obstacle to recovery or progress? , because recovery is progress. People. Abusive, Toxic, Narcissistic people. They are usually placed in disguise as trusted, supporting and loving assets in your life. They know your wounds and your weaknesses , may times better than you do.
Pain, Misery, and Failure is Sexy. As helping professionals and a support network, we need to focus on moving toward what brings Joy. The pursuit of, What brings Joy, must be persistent and most of all, relevant to everyone on the Team.
If you don't know , or Like, where you are, It is a good chance you are marching to someone else's Beat. A major barrier to Essential Change is not establishing a set of strong personal reasons and destinations. That personal BEAT is a rhythm between the Why and the Actions.
The Bucket Brigade represents an Human Chain with a focused attention on putting out a fire, not unlike the Human Chain we form as Helping Professional and a Support Network of family and friends with a focus on preserving a life worth saving.
The members of the helping team, like a chain, are no stronger than its weakest link. And just like a chain, the teams job is to transfer power, provide security, and to ensure safety. Every link ( team member) must be committed to the same show of strength and support.
The Olympics is a special time in the lives of many athletes. It is a chance for them to make physical, the planning and preparation they have dedicated to a single goal. But is this the only thing they are really preparing for ? And how does this compare to the planning and preparation , we as helping professionals, instill in the mindset of those we seek to uplift.
If you Do What You Love, you will never work a Day in your Life. For many of us Helping Professionals, this is an Ideal situation. How you present yourself, how you show up, has a lot to do with doing just that. Preparation, Attitude, and Acceptance are the Keys.
It is difficult , as Helping Professionals, to convince those we are striving to help that very small movements in the right direction is all it takes to make change and if we are being honest, the only way to make change that will last.
If we learned anything, it is that all times are potentially uncertain times. We need to build a base that is always ready to Retool, Relearn, and re-evaluate. Things, People, and Situations will always change but we must always be ready to hit the ground running and move forward to the best of our ability.
Seeking an Infinity Mindset versus and a Finite Mindset, while sometimes difficult to initiate can, and will , bring valuable skills for learning and healing for those needing Essential Change.
Today we talk about what "Team" means and how we help People reach an Essential Change.
As in sports, it take more than just one person to make something real and substantial happen. Together we are more that just 1 + 1 +1 =3. We are only limited by our Convictions, Desires, and Goals.
If you don't like the results in your life, change the ingredients you are cooking with ! As Helping Professionals and Volunteers, we can help our clients make better use of the ingredients that are available, making a much better tasting piece of pie.
This Podcast reveals the 5 rules that will take anyone closer to making an Essential Change in their lives. This take on a 2017 Simon Sinek Video explores some really basic attitudes that make improvements so much easier.
What is the best attitude toward approaching Essential Change? How are you going to feel when you get there? How will you even know when you get there? Managing expectations and anxiety are important and must be discussed.
Why can't the same thoughts behind compounding for finances be used for compound the result for Health and Helping?
What can you Associate your current journey with , that you can hold Sacred in the future?Something that represents all you have learned, how much you have grown, how much you have healed. Will it be a thing? Will it be a person? Will it be something written? Find that thing and make it special now so it will be Sacred later.
Persistence is not easy but Essential. As Helping Professionals, we must make those we serve understand what and where to place their Persistence.
Decisions that lead to Essential Change need the force of Intent, the Belief that you have the right to make the change, and the Ability to Execute the tasked needed. This come from practice, practice, practice. Decision make in his like driving, You do not have to crash.
The changing of small habits that control large results takes the same amount of persistence it took to get the bad habit in the first place. In order to change, there must be an obsession strong enough to manipulate ( to handle, control and influence ) the old paradigm without creating a war between the old and the new.
One of the the original concepts in Napoleon Hill's 13 Principles called for Organized Planning to be extremely important in the accumulation of Wealth, but for the purposes of Healing, Recovery, and the Rebuilding of Trust, Planning is used as a strong Anchor, a measuring device, and a tool for Re-Alignment.
Imagination is where and how we see our potential selves. The Action of Imagination must be given respect and mastered. As Helping Professionals, we must inspire and cultivate the ability to see past the restraints of what is, and see what needs to Be.
Why do we fight so hard against change ? Disrupting chains and assumptions that bind us to our misery takes Energy. More Energy for a Positive Change and Less for a Negative Change, but Energy all the same.
Knowledge is only Potential Power. It must be very specifically directed to what is exactly needed to create an Essential Change. In this 4th Installment of our series, Think and Grow with Purpose, we talk about the 4th Principle, Specialized Knowledge and why we need to insist those that we help seek it out and use it to fuel a powerful life.
Self or Auto Suggestion is the 3rd of Napoleon Hill's ( Think and Grow Rich ) 13 Principles. This Podcast talks about how we, as Helping Professionals, use this Art to help those that find themselves stuck in a life that needs an Essential Change break away and find health and success.
Self Care provides Confidence, Reduces Stress, and promotes Purpose. Attack it with knowledge, Routine, and resolution.
It is one thing to identify a Desire, another thing to apply Faith to the Desire. In re-setting the approach to applying Faith to Desire, we must use the mechanisms of Planning, Action, and Accountability to provide exercise for the muscles of Faith to grow.
Desire is the starting point for every real achievement. The first of the 13 principals of Think and Grow Rich ( With Purpose ).
The assumed theme, and sometimes stated theme of Think and Grow Rich is the accumulation of financial wealth. At Essential Change: The Podcast, we believe that wealth also comes in the form of increased health, better relationships with ourselves, family and society, and a general enrichment of the entire person.
When we begin to evaluate ourselves, preparing for growth and healing, we see blemishes of our character, weaknesses, and missed opportunities. It is easy to place blame, to punish, but apologizing and forgiveness is the first start and only way to begin to grow and heal.
There are some people just waiting for the starting gun to go off, living life with clear definition of purpose. Are you one of them? if not, What type are you?
Every Year we go into a New Year with Expectation but the level of Power and Electricity is going to be OFF THE HOOK ! Let's not Waste it.
Should Old Acquaintance be forgot..and never brought to Mind? Making Peace with the old, seeing it for how it has enriched our lives before starting a New Year.
An Idle Mind is the Devil's Workshop. What is an Idle Mind? and How do we get into a better Workshop?
Fear is a Parasite that lives to feed off the nutrients we need for a healthy and productive life. We take a look at the 6 areas of our lives that fear feeds from and begin to recognize the symptoms, effects, and more importantly, how we can starve it to death.
In order for a garden to thrive, Soil, Nutrients, Water, and Light must be in balance. Indecision and Doubt are the seeds of Fear. We, as Helping Professionals, need to help prevent the weeds before they can grow and if we see a Weed, pull it out !
7 things you can do now to help yourself or someone else. In no particular order, these are 7 areas that you can start to get control of and make life better.
"Life is a Banquet, And most poor suckers are starving to Death". A quote from the movie "Auntie Mame", 1958 with Rosalind Russell and in 1974 with Lucille Ball. Lets listen to how this quote and movie relates to Essential Change.
This episode deals with Wanting. How the word is used without regard to its negative meaning and why we are comfortable using it. The 3 things we can do to prevent it from forming and action on worthy goals.
This is a special episode and interview with Robert Foley, a trained Lawyer, addiction coach and advocate for recovery.
We talk about his early family life, his legal career, addiction, sobriety, and his eventual life of service to the recovery community.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/robert-foley-j-d-98839a119?lipi=urn%3Ali%3Apage%3Ad_flagship3_profile_view_base_contact_details%3BEH94dACHTIyv3Oq9Tc9b6w%3D%3D
The power of Starting and Re-Starting productive habits is key to making Essential Change. The enemy of change is focusing on the destination instead of the process and repetition of good habits.
This episode deals with 10 areas you can start looking at when you are setting goals for your life. We like to call it the "Goal Tree". Most of us are good at a few of them but may need some help with others. They are in no particular order or importance and, as usual, we recommend any professional help or coaching to invest in yourself and those that love you.
Some thoughts on the current path of the recovery model and how it could be tweaked to help more people. A model that takes into consideration the the entire scope of complicated and confusing lives.
Welcome to my dive into dealing with self esteem and how we strive to overcome our need for constant work in that area of life.
The 2ndStarts story ends with a service in the form of a “live course” that gives those with detrimental behaviors, or the potential for ( detrimental behavior ) a different option in which to change, improve and heal their lives.
The 2ndStarts story starts about 34 years ago, and my decision to become a nurse. The choice was almost an accident, even though I was the son and grandson of two nurses. During the early years of my healthcare profession, I became obsessed with becoming an entrepreneur. I had a multitude of ideas that brewed constantly from my mind but soon found out that I certainly did not possess a number of traits that should accompany a captain of industry. I had a natural tendency to daydream and procrastinate. It did not take long for me to realize that I had to get hold of those debilitating traits, or I would never be able to realize my dreams of being a self-made man.
The late-night infomercial scene, which contributed significantly to my entrepreneurial dreams, lead me to the concept of self-help. The promise to change a person into “ more” was captivating. I devoured these materials. I read and followed everyone and every program. I learned so much about human nature, procrastination, fear of failure, fear of success, etc., etc., etc.
I soon learned the hard way that the knowledge of these principles did not always translate into success. These self-help gurus and their programs were not necessarily helpful but extremely entertaining. The entire industry began to boom, and some of the gurus became rock stars. Magazines and programs were everywhere, but the results, as it translated to making money, getting successful real estate deals, and providing life-changing results far lagged behind the growth of the self-help industry itself. My results also lagged. I continued to study and learn about the self-help industry but soon resigned that I didn’t have what it took, and it wasn’t just me. The rate of success was extremely low, although the advice and tactics seem very sound.
As the focus of my healthcare career changed, I became introduced to groups of people whose procrastination and the lack of focus and clarity required a more significant price to pay than that of the struggling entrepreneur. There was a vast difference between not making a couple of extra dollars compared to incarceration, illness, or death.
But the mentally and physically ill, and the socially and behaviorally disadvantaged had their own set of advocates already. Medical professionals, therapists, and social service workers were there to protect and serve this population, but the results were not much better, and relapse remained extremely prevalent. And these results were with the best and well-intentioned minds available.
At this point, I began to wonder were these groups destined to suffer the same fate I have previously resigned myself to in my entrepreneurial efforts. Some of us didn’t have what it took to “ cut the mustard.” They certainly had a lot more to lose. I began to dedicate my time to explore this question. I asked many questions about myself and people like me. Honest questions. I also probed the minds of both correctional professionals and inmates, medical professionals, and substance abusers. These interviews, along with my in-depth study of self-help methods, brought me to some fascinating conclusions. These conclusions served as the basis for the 2ndStarts system of life management.
The Miracle Worker is a 1962 biographical film that that depicts the journey of Anne Sullivan and Helen Keller. Their story closely associates with the journey we as helping professionals travel with our At-Risk community who seek Essential Change.
The law of Attraction is more than just a theory if used correctly. Using the power of the mind to transfer what is our thoughts and materializing it into reality. Understanding Energy, Frequency, and Vibration to make a real change is Essential.
This episode of Essential Change: The Podcast deals with the corner stone of the 2ndstarts method. The importance of getting and keeping the attention of those we care for can not be overstated.
My website http://www.2ndstarts.com
Schedule a 15 minute call : https://schedulewith2ndstarts.as.me/
This episode gives an overview of the 2ndStarts Life Management System. If you are Practitioner or a helping professional with a case that is difficult I hope you get something out of this and consider getting on my calendar and talking about it.
http://www.2ndstarts.com/
https://schedulewith2ndstarts.as.me/
This podcast deals with the deliberate monitoring of time usage and the specific actions of the At-Risk people you work with. Every minute and every action should be scheduled according to choices made that strengthen Goals and promote Wellness is a strategy that will build upon itself, acting as a compound interest to a healthy life.
http://www.2ndstarts.com/
This episode of Essential Change: TPC talks about " The Imposter Syndrome ". At the very center of each hard to help situation the fear of being labeled a fraud is present. We talk briefly about the ramifications of failing to recognize its symptoms and causes. If you are thinking about a partner in dealing with your AT-Risk community, visit us at 2ndStarts and contact us. Let's work together.
Thank you for being with us on our first full episode.
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Welcome to the Trailer for my New Show Essential Change: The Podcast. In my 30 plus years of nursing experience, I have developed methods that create a hybrid and coordination between the different helping professions that serve those who have persistent trouble. The keyword is Persistent. My focus is not to say that any discipline or approach is lacking but that some need a more varied approach and more active participation between the disciplines. This podcast looks to bring the views( together) between the Medical, Social, correctional, legal, and sometimes spiritual communities and add an Assisted motivational component that can provide a more efficient method of helping those who may fall through the cracks.
I will actively seek out the opinions of professionals in all the helping professionals through interviews and the promotion of their work and accomplishments and ask you to refer the same to us for this podcast.
Find more information about us at 2ndStarts.com.