the Wikkid podcast: Recent Episodes
Mike "that Wikkid Person" Moore
Being raised in a strict fundamentalist Christian group in the 1980s can cause some very predictable problems. Depression can be a Christian teenager's most constant companion despite church promises to the contrary. Dark humour, and even darker music, can help. This podcast is centered around the songs I wrote to deal back then, and what happened when I then picked away at recording workable versions of them for decades. contact me with questions and comments at wikkidperson@gmail.com or on Twitter @WikkidPerson
Recording cello. With fireworks. An in-depth interview with John, raised in the Plymouth Brethren Christian Church, the extremist offshoot of my own birth culture, which I have no real trouble calling an outright cult. Also much insight into the Mormon experience, from Natalie. South Park. Emailed drums. Spiritual cripples looking to hobble everyone nearby.
It's pretty hard to talk to people when they've got you cast in a different story from the one you feel you're living. Religious groups that split up family relationships. Trying to interact with family and friends from a group that's kicked you out of it. The difference between getting kicked out and leaving voluntarily. Playing with Plato. Narcissism and gnosticism.
If you had a chance to sit down of an evening and have a chat with the residents of a community graveyard, what would you ask them? The Guy Code. GenXers sorry to get everything we always wanted. People who will move heaven and earth to avoid having conversations that need to be had. Additional Musicians George Turcotte: drums
What makes you really feel alive? What makes you feel like you're sleepwalking through a living death? The importance of play. What works when you feel like crap? Where does inspiration come from?
What's it like to experience suicidal ideation? Many people do. Finding a good answer to the question "Why not?" Why does writing and singing and recording about dark thoughts help them go away? Everyone needs to deal with death in some form, from time to time. What works? Jay Semko of The Northern Pikes and I go over songs he's written that tell "a pretty dark story, but with a happy tune." Where was all the bliss supposed to come from, in Christianity? Troy reveals his favourite jokey stuff I've recorded. I record George playing drums in my living room. Singing into the corner of a room. I strum guitars with a razorblade for a pick. Additional Musicians George Turcotte: drums
Getting the boot or walking away from one's birth culture. Doesn't matter whether you're fundamentalist Christian, Orthodox Jewish, Muslim, Sikh or Mormon... it's quite the mind effword. A bunch of stories, including people who were excommunicated and shunned for being gay. An elaborate music collaboration manages to get the song done two hours before the podcast airs... Additional Musicians Guitar and riffwriting: Troy Tuttle Drums: George Turcotte (YouTube music channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsYyXQ7ItRMjEN8FNn9LrPw )
Is evil a thing? Are some people, and do some people do, evil? (What did John Douglas, the man who invented the profiling of serial killers for the FBI think?) When you realize your fear and disgust, respect and acceptance responses are programmed into you. Additional Musicians George Turcotte: drums and "alright!" Dave Whelen and Joel D'amour: voices in sound montage
Kids these days! Having your perspectives and concerns invalidated in a church circle if you were in your 20s, hadn't got married and had kids. Have modern kids been coddled? (yes). Can we do anything about that? (probably not.) The importance of bike rides. Boredom as the mother of invention, and if there's insufficient boredom? Additional Musicians Debbie Michelin: singing bowl and vocalizations Evan Sauve: drums
Pleasure, joy and happiness. Targets for offense, shame and "correction"? Why? Is enjoying a thing "idolatry" and cheating on God? Is getting annoyed about anything that brings other people joy, but not you, more common than we want to admit? Do we all have an inner Grinch? (we do.) Pop music, Harry Potter, gym selfies, TV, comic books and pants... the things we gave up to keep our church status. If it makes you happy, it can't be that good, right? Economist, Season 3 interview contributor Evan emails drum parts played on a digital kit to be used on this week's song! (This week, I go as Pink Floyd as I possibly can...) Additional Musicians Evan Sauve: drums
A silly little song, a violent bible reading and a very unfunny revisiting of messed up church attitudes about sex, with Angel DeSantis talking in detail in the middle of the episode about being born into and growing up in The Children of God/The Family, a pedophile sex cult. (warning, this episode contains a trigger warning, and trigger warnings in and of themselves are found to increase stress and alarm.) Additional Musicians My Washing Machine: percussion George Turcotte: drums and additional percussion
A fun one about high school, and what was cool, and why we weren't. Popped collars, Ralph Lauren rugby shirts, boat shoes, depression and all the rest of it. I got a real live professional punk bass player/Plymouth Brethren missionary's daughter to play on this one! Additional Musicians George Turcotte: drums Kim "Like A Motorcycle" Carson: bass
Do you have a problem with rules, especially ones that have never been put into words? Is Christianity about hiding one's self away in a church to keep spiritually safe? What would Frank Zappa have to say? Additional Musicians Joel D'amour: additional voices
A whole bunch of musings on alcohol, from people who sell it, to rock stars who drank too much of it, to people who grew up in farm country where some people applied it internally, hourly. Additional Musicians drums: George Turcotte
Death In Tiny Spoonfuls: An album/novel concept that centers around entropy, death and impermanence. The value of an outside perspective from someone new. How would your church have seemed to an outsider wandering in? Music production discussion with Jay Semko of The Northern Pikes. Additional Musicians drums: George Turcotte slide guitar: Tim Ellis
An influx of new voices into the podcast is announced, including my elusive sister, my old bandmate Troy, and Jay Semko, singer, songwriter and bass player for The Northern Pikes, and a host of others. Three ways people tend to deal with conflict. Writing songs. A revisiting of what's been asserted by the podcast thus far.
Last episode of Season Two. I've always had a deep and abiding interest in evil. (Not in doing it. In how it's depicted one way in the bible, and a very different way everywhere else). Making self-fulfilling prophecies about other people. Homer, Virgil, Dante, Goethe, Milton and so on. All the guys. Spitting in the eye of despair. Additional Musicians Adam Cavanaugh: saxaphone sample Tyler Irving: keyboard saxaphone
Cars rusting in fields. Gene Simmons of KISS action figures. Bass players and pretty girls who alike don't show up. Being told you're laid off work. Again. Did I write this song or did Martin Luther, Fanny Crosby or Thom Yorke? Tyler uses whatever he's got lying around the house. Two main kinds of churches selling two main kinds of product. What suited me about my own church, in retrospect. When are you making things better, and when you gilding the lily? My most-requested (noncomedic) song. Additional Musicians Tyler King: upright bass, mandolin, piano
I get some help to attempt an country song, sung by the Almighty. Life advice for me from an 80s hair metal shredder lead guitarist. Neon pink, bubblegum-flavoured church icing on your steak and mashed potatoes. Why doesn't Michael Sweet age? How much of Stryper is, as he claims, mainly just him? The Christian answer to everything (besides "go to church") is "surrender all to God." (Let go and let God.) Let God make all your life's decisions, essentially. Well, two problems: 1) if you grew up with your life entirely bound to church expectations, you have no say over your "all" to begin with. You can't surrender something you're not in possession of. 2) What if God refuses to make your life decisions for you? Bill tells us what Christians do. Teenagers wandering the street at night, drunk and looking for trouble, benefit from more rules, expectations and structure. Teenagers raised with no freedom are all full up. The Almighty covers Cheap Trick. Additional Musicians George Turcotte: drums, mandolin, pedal steel Tyler Irving: piano
What if your church took everything, leaving you nothing to "surrender all" to God? If God's real, are we cool with Him being a person with a personality? If so, what kind of personality? What does He want? Some lions are "Born Free" (by Andy Williams) and others aren't. Slipping restraining bolts, dwarf-following and joining Starfleet through the wardrobe. People can make texts appear to have only one possible interpretation, but that's simple-minded. Attempting a wikkid groove. Additional Musicians drums: George Turcotte
Drunks who get saved into churchified sobriety have to ensure they don't backslide into the gutter, the misery and the puke. But people like me? We had to ensure we didn't backslide into that grey, bland, paranoid, controlled, muted, competitive piety thing. The "everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you." culture, with people dying inside. Why you don't need to buy a 12-string guitar to get a 12-string sound. The rise and fall of Kevin Smith. Kids know EXACTLY what their parents are getting wrong, but will most likely repeat the same mistakes or invent ones of their own when it's their turn. Neil Gaiman says "make good art." Deer hunting with toothpaste. Making sure that, like a shark, I keep moving forward, keep making stuff, to keep alive, even if people think it's amateurish, vain, negative or casts certain people and groups in a bad light. https://www.amazon.com/Beowulf-Other-Tales-Foster-MacPhail/dp/035910987X/ref=sr11?dchild=1&keywords=beowulf+and+other+tales&qid=1621885186&sr=8-1 http://www.teenagepharisee.com/
What happens when people are "raised on rails," like locomotives on tracks that take them to church and nowhere else, and they jump out of the groove and start heading up the road at speed? How bad can things get? Was the Lord speaking? (If trigger warnings worked, this ep would surely have one.) Additional Musicians backing vocals: Debbie Moore-Michelin keyboards: Harold Satomayor painting on map: Michael Vedder
Excommunicated! Shunned for Life! Unintentional fundamentalist outreach porn. (The winner of last week's Retro 90s Trivia Contest is Evan Sauve, who wasn't born yet in the 90s, with Troy Tuttle being disqualified due to having been at most of the same concerts I was at, giving him, I felt, an unfair advantage. ) This week: Failing to meet parental fundamentalist expectations, and trying to maintain a relationship with them anyway. Having one's birth culture/a global Christian community excommunicate shun one worldwide, and for life. There's nothing spiritual in laughing at people. Not even the children of Israel, St. Peter and St. Thomas. Worldly people and other churches either. Mocking: what Gen Xers, the 90s, and our Christian community, were all about. South Park. Tarantino formula = violence + pop culture + style. Twitter bans.
A Wikkid Contest: There's a 90s pop culture game in this week's podcast! Email me at wikkidperson@gmail.com with your best identification of the many 90s computer and video game sounds, standup comics and live bands in the montage that starts around 20min in. Winners will be mentioned by name (unless they request otherwise) in future podcast episodes. Exploring the idea that The World, rather than being only a horrible, toxic trap for Christians, might also be a safe place to have some healthy fun. Additional Musicians vocals: Mindy Amelotte techno beats/programming: Derek Leonard
The giant killer conscience, created in the lab/church, goes on a rampage, stamping on pool halls, arcades, video rental stores, Dungeons & Dragons and other random things. Our church divides in two, and I try my first beer, movie at the theatre, and live musical act, at age 21.
Sick of trying to sharpen iron on jello, our protagonist starts frequenting people who are smarter than he is, and crazier too. Looking for Mr. Miyagi. Poetry intended to cause offense. Too much thinking being done, in the opinion of the old folks at church. Stealth beer. Kids raised too blandly crave intensity. Scottish drinking songs. My best "fit" in a band. I don't sing the lead vocals on this one. I don't write the lyrics either. (Enjoying the wonders of collaboration.) Additional Musicians Tyler King: lead vocal Danielle Leplante: backing vocals George Turcotte: drums and mandolin
As I grew up in Canada with a French-Canadian grandmother and a British one, and as Quebec is a short drive from here, as is America, there's a lot to say about that. Pretty short podcast episode, though. Stuff about all things French, having French Brethren who needed a translation other than the King James Version to read, and who were culturally fairly unBrethren. Les petit phoques suffoque sur les flocons de glace. Bleu Nuit. Cheech and Chong in French? Why I was somewhat chagrined to see Flight of the Conchords do a funny song in nonsense French about twenty years after I had. More shenanigans with my Brethren creative friends. Smurfs/Schtroumpfs. My silly songs usually go over better than my serious moody ones. Mastering Ty Tabor
Girls. Chickadees. Depression helped along by a double-barrelled romantic failure to launch. Meeting Brethren creatives? Trying to sing like Robert Smith? A very silly song. Addtional Musicians: Ukelele: Mindy Amelotte Tuba: Paul Norris Michael Vedder vocals: Michael Vedder Mastering: Ty Tabor
By listener request, I break down the contradictory basic theology spoon fed to use as Christian kids. Also, I talk about vows made while drunk on the mountaintop experience of youth camp and bible conferences. A case against repression and denial of flaming youth. Sometimes you need more cowbell but you don't have one. It might get loud.
In order to grow out of things, you need to change, and change is hard and can be scary. I get my first multitrack recorder and explore various things that could be done with it. Home-made smurfs. Backwards guitar solos. Does Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust" really say "it's fun to smoke marijuana" when played backwards? Meeting non-Meeting musicians. Why recording a band is hard. Why working together in a band is harder. Getting drums on my stuff. Did my late uncle's voice sound surprisingly like fellow Torontonian Jordan Peterson's? Additional Musician drums: George Turcotte
The last episode of season one, about the last song on The Story of Peter Grey. It's about words helping, but not being enough. It has humpback whales. Additional Musicians Original Drums: Tim Searles New Drums: Chris Metcalfe RotoVibe Bass, electric guitar and backing vocals: Bill Ranger Featured Guitar solo and Edge-work: Troy Tuttle Choir: Debbie Moore-Michelin, Andrew "Mish" Michelin, Michael Vedder, Bethany Rule-Vedder, Bill Ranger, Cedar Knebel Check out Mish's own work at The All Canadian Soundclash (https://theallcanadiansoundclash.com/). Coming soon: The Wikkid Podcast Season Two. Peter Grey Grows Up.
This Wikkid Wednesday, it might get loud. Why were loud music, loud clothing and other intense experiences, somehow threatening to our fundamentalist upbringing? Why did exuberance make the other folks uncomfortable? How did I find my way from Neil Diamond to White Zombie? A sad tracing of the attempts of a man with a smooth baritone voice to shred or otherwise do metal. Is it possible to do all of exactly the right things to end up single and alone? Singleness and solitude as a sentence handed down by church and mainstream society alike? Additional Musicians: Original Drums: Tim Searles Drums: Chris Metcalfe Bass guitar: Adam Fogo Guitar soloing: Troy Tuttle Backing harmonies: Debbie Moore-Michelin Nowadays, Stryper is back, and still doing bibles to the wall metal, albeit of a less on-the-nose evangelical bent. http://www.stryper.com/ King’s X still puts out albums from time to time. Ty Tabor does online mastering here: http://alienbeansstudio.com/ If you would be interested in two guys looking at the bible with an attempt to view it more as the Jewish people of its time might have viewed it, rather than how we normally do, check out Brent and Marty at The BEMA Podcast https://www.bemadiscipleship.com/episodes If you would be interested in a Generation Xer who is an expert in collecting and repairing 70s and 80s toys and action figures, with a special interest in 80s movies and TV as well, but who isn’t simply wanting a firehose of fun from Disney nowadays, with whatever they choose to give us, check out Michael at Retroblasting on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/user/retroblasting
An attempt at something more akin to cinematic score, commemorating the worst place I ever lived. I get a violinist and a bass singer in. Stories of trying to connect with Christians outside the church I grew up in. Additional Musicians Violins: Tanya Onysko Bass vocal: Julian Kolbaiev Featured Bridge vocal: Debbie Moore-Michelin Blood-curdling scream: Bill Ranger
That special feeling when a relationship you were counting on fizzles out. Do hardships make depression worse? Layering things over a two-chord symphony. Mr. Wizard plays with dry ice into a microphone. Additional Musicians: Backing vocals: Debbie Moore-Michelin, Mindy Amelotte Drums: Chris Metcalfe Harmony: Chris Pasely Additional electric guitar textures: Troy Tuttle Playing the part of "Syd" Barrett the Cat: Nick "Mason" the Cat.
This week's episode goes into the lifelong, fruitless quest to bear fruit, to be someone who doesn't accept yourself, yet find someone who accepts you. Also, endlessly, obsessively messing around with songs that sound too much like other songs. In fact, this week's episode is very music heavy. Additional Artists: Featured Female Vocal: Mindy Amelotte Female Backing Vocals: Debbie Moore-Michelin Spoken Vocal samples: Anna Isley, Evan Sauve, Don Billosolly "Late 90s" piano and guitar: Tyler Irving and Jason King Bass Guitar on final version: Bill Ranger Drum Loops from https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt5r84pq7-UF7FaNKyGhZzA and https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGbbvPQg5nE-b7zYwlxJ2-w and https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrWJur6622W1iLZccSn06uQ
Trying to start something with a woman seemed on a level with attempting a trip to the moon. John Brereton holds forth on the evils of teaching contraception in sex ed class at school, all without uttering the words “sex” or “contraception.” Paul Washer insists that it’s definitely not poetry. Kris Priestap sings in 1989. I discover that theremins are the most fretless instruments I have attempted (besides drums, of course). Can you tell whether my sister is singing backward or forward? Will all the spacey, beepy, funky stuff blend? Can I Barry White? Personnel Bass: Adam Fogo Keyboard: Mike Dubue Backing Vocals: Debbie Moore-Michelin Electric Guitar Beeps: Troy Tuttle
Bitterness: like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die? A serious look at suicidal ideation, youthful resentment and a mania for bladed weapons. A church culture in which there were few worse sins than being resentful if they mistreated you, and "forgiveness" was your job, not theirs. I was delighted to score a session player who could do Spanish guitar. Had to play conga drums myself. Had a teacher colleague add some chimey electric and soloing to my mudslide/ocean surf rhythm guitar sound. Tinkered with recordings of my sister doing horror movie style screams to make them sound more disturbing. Stuff like that. Personnel Drums: Gloria Haslan-Garbuio Bass: Andy Graham Fancy Acoustic: Chris Lochner Additional Chimey and Solo Electric Guitars: Jason King Additional Chorus Vocals: Jason King and Bill Ranger Screams/Wolves: Debbie Moore-Michelin Alexander Scourby stand-in: Dave Whelen
A bit of an irate response to cheery folks who don't want the rest of us to bring them down. "Don't Worry Be Happy" was not my favourite song in the 80s. Personnel: Replacement Drums: Chris Metcalfe Bass: Adam Fogo Slide Guitar: Trevor Finlay Johnny Rotten stand-in: Bill Ranger Sean Connery stand-in: Dave Whelen ...with Mike Dubue and Suki Akemi Wellman playing the parts of "Ken" and "Jen."
What was adolescent depression like? How did school and youth group make it much worse? How to turn abject misery into something rhythmic and melodic. Learning about vintage tube amps, doubled tracks and odd percussion choices. (Note, although seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is certainly a huge problem at Christmas time because it's December, many mental health professionals do not believe that suicide is actually any more likely during that month than any other. I can simply stand behind the idea that I associate Christmas with loneliness, darkness, cold and socially complicated and upsetting mandatory extroversion work and family situations, and that little else depresses me as profoundly as people pressuring me to be merry and festive and into the music and sweaters if I can't muster that up. Also, the fact that this "Suicide in December" idea is so prevalent makes the Christmas season seem dangerous and fraught.)
This episode is the "church background" one, making it the longest of this whole podcast series. I'm trying out the "chapters" function so people can skip bits if they like. This one has to go into it all: Church intrigue. Weaponized bible. Personal and family sacrifice. Tradition vs. change. Competitive piety pageants. Does God really hate fun as much as we were led to believe? Additional musicians: Debbie Moore-Michelin (backing vocals), Chris Metcalfe (drums and jaw harp), Andy Graham (bass guitar), Chris Carriere (electric rhythm guitar and initial recording engineering), Trevor Finlay (solo slide guitar), Chuck Hendricks (sermon about breaking sheep's legs to stop them from straying from the flock). Please let me know what you thought at wikkidperson@gmail.com
Each episode of The Wikkid Podcast is me explaining what was going on in my adolescent life that occasioned the writing of a song from my unreleased concept album The Story of Peter Grey. I never released it as an album, but I wrote it as a book, and I guess, now it’s kind of a podcast. So, this is about church upbringing gone wrong, adolescent depression, and writing and recording music about it to try to make some sense of it all.