I Said What I Said: Recent Episodes
I Said What I Said
"I Said What I Said" is a raucous self development podcast about closing the gap between who we are and who we want to be. From career changes and problematic friendships, to mediocre sex and navigating money matters; sisters Mukundwa and Nyak explore how to prioritise your pleasure and move with intention. 2018-2020
WELL HELLO GIRLS AND GAYS! In this episode we’re discussing spiritual growth in 2020 and answering your questions. Blame the Conjuncture for us sounding like cyborgs. Spiritual content: Ask And It is Given, and Money and the Law of Attraction by Abraham Hicks. I STRONGLY RECOMMEND you listen or read to a FULL BOOK for full context and efficacy. https://tinyurl.com/y7gkonty
Like this podcast? TIP US! www.paypal.me/iswispodcast. Our Facebook group and Instagram pages: www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/ and instagram.com/iswis_podcast
TW mention of Suicide and Sexual Assault. On this episode we discuss themes around George Floyd’s murder. How do we keep spiritually sane and safe in the face of white supremacy.
We are taking a hiatus for an undetermined length of time, keep well girls and gays! Like this podcast? TIP US! The COVID-19 FUND IS OVER - all tips will line our bellies with ribs and our fingers with gold. www.paypal.me/iswispodcast. Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/ instagram.com/iswis_podcast / youtube.com/mukundwa / twitter.com/mukundwa_ Tag your favourite illustrators on this Instagram post or email them to us: www.instagram.com/p/B_fsxJah1UE/ . Freakonomics episode: https://tinyurl.com/ydeu8cg3 and podcast The Happiness Project
should our friends serve the productive function of inspiring us? should we admire our friends and want to be like them, or are they just a good time? We also get into black capitalism, hypergamy, the illusion of loyalty and the pressures of beauty in dating. Like this podcast? TIP US! All money goes FINANCIAL RELIEF ISWIS LISTENERS STRUGGLING DUE TO COVID-19 - www.paypal.me/iswispodcast. TO RECEIVE FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE FROM THE ISWIS LISTENERS FUND - heyiswis@gmail.com. Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/ instagram.com/iswis_podcast / youtube.com/mukundwa / twitter.com/mukundwa_ Tag your favourite illustrators on this Instagram post or email them to us: www.instagram.com/p/B_fsxJah1UE/
In this episode we discuss issues around how to effectively and selflessly hold space for people. Do you know how to hold space for people without making their problems about you? Is wanting to fix loved one's issues a compassionate or selfish act? As a spiritual person is it defeatist to accept suffering and illness? Follow Mica on instagram.com/micamontana/ and Alecia on instagram.com/tendertruffle . Like this podcast? TIP US! All money goes FINANCIAL RELIEF ISWIS LISTENERS STRUGGLING DUE TO COVID-19 - www.paypal.me/iswispodcast. TO RECEIVE FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE FROM THE ISWIS LISTENERS FUND - heyiswis@gmail.com. Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/ instagram.com/iswis_podcast / youtube.com/mukundwa / twitter.com/mukundwa_
Tag your favourite illustrators on this Instagram post or email them to us: www.instagram.com/p/B_fsxJah1UE/
Like this podcast? TIP US! All money goes FINANCIAL RELIEF ISWIS LISTENERS STRUGGLING DUE TO COVID-19 - www.paypal.me/iswispodcast. TO RECEIVE FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE FROM THE ISWIS LISTENERS FUND - heyiswis@gmail.com. Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/ instagram.com/iswis_podcast / youtube.com/mukundwa / twitter.com/mukundwa_
Tag your favourite illustrators on this Instagram post or email them to us: www.instagram.com/p/B_fsxJah1UE/
Who decides our purpose? Is happiness something we find or something we choose?
Like this podcast? TIP US! All money goes FINANCIAL RELIEF ISWIS LISTENERS STRUGGLING DUE TO COVID-19 - www.paypal.me/iswispodcast. TO RECEIVE FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE FROM THE ISWIS LISTENERS FUND - heyiswis@gmail.com. Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/ instagram.com/iswis_podcast / youtube.com/mukundwa / twitter.com/mukundwa_
Tag your favourite illustrators on this Instagram post or email them to us: https://www.instagram.com/p/B_fsxJah1UE/
On cults, compatibility and happiness. Like this podcast? TIP US! All money goes FINANCIAL RELIEF ISWIS LISTENERS STRUGGLING DUE TO COVID-19 - www.paypal.me/iswispodcast.
TO RECEIVE FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE FROM THE ISWIS LISTENERS FUND - heyiswis@gmail.com.
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/ instagram.com/iswis_podcast / youtube.com/mukundwa / twitter.com/mukundwa_
Shifting efforts in friendships, productivity and delayed gratification under lockdown.
Like this podcast? TIP US! All money goes FINANCIAL RELIEF ISWIS LISTENERS STRUGGLING DUE TO COVID-19 - www.paypal.me/iswispodcast.
TO RECEIVE FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE FROM THE ISWIS LISTENERS FUND - heyiswis@gmail.com.
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/ instagram.com/iswis_podcast / youtube.com/mukundwa / twitter.com/mukundwa_
Nunu and Tshepi join us to discuss vulnerability and boundaries in casual relationships. Is your hookup style destructive?
GUESTS: twitter.com/neon_nu and instagram.com/justtshepi.
Like this podcast? TIP US! All money goes FINANCIAL RELIEF ISWIS LISTENERS STRUGGLING DUE TO COVID-19 - www.paypal.me/iswispodcast
TO RECEIVE FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE FROM THE ISWIS LISTENERS FUND - heyiswis@gmail.com
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/ instagram.com/iswis_podcast / youtube.com/mukundwa / twitter.com/mukundwa_
Are you a valuable member of society - and who determines this? are you a trash employee? do you have the range to freelance? Which yields the most benefits, authenticity or leaning into public perception?
For more info on emotional intelligence in the workplace, google: "esther perel workplace" and "alain de botton workplace"
Like this podcast? TIP US! All money goes FINANCIAL RELIEF ISWIS LISTENERS STRUGGLING DUE TO COVID-19 - www.paypal.me/iswispodcast
TO RECEIVE FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE FROM THE ISWIS LISTENERS FUND - heyiswis@gmail.com
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/ instagram.com/iswis_podcast / https://youtube.com/mukundwa / twitter.com/mukundwa_
In this episode we discuss legacy, education systems on Mars and tension during self-isolation
DONATE COVID-19 RELIEF MONEY TO ISWIS LISTENER FUND - www.paypal.me/iswispodcast TO RECEIVE FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE FROM THE ISWIS LISTENERS FUND - heyiswis@gmail.com. MAKE MONEY ONLINE SPREADSHEET, share with all and send links - https://tinyurl.com/w2jze45
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/ instagram.com/iswis_podcast / https://youtube.com/mukundwa / twitter.com/mukundwa_
DONATE MONEY TO ISWIS LISTENER FUND: COVID-19 RELIEF at www.paypal.me/iswispodcast
come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/ SOCIALS instagram.com/iswis_podcast youtube: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4 twitter.com/mukundwa_
In this episode we discuss how Covid-19 will affect dating habits, who benefits from the resulting fear and isolation, and falling in love with friends
Like this episode? Tip us @ paypal.me/iswispodcast and come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/ SOCIALS instagram.com/iswis_podcast youtube: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4 twitter.com/mukundwa_
On the racist classist responses to coronavirus, pursuing early retirement and managing intolerable work environments
Like this episode? Tip us @ paypal.me/iswispodcast and come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/ SOCIALS instagram.com/iswis_podcast youtube: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4 twitter.com/mukundwa_
LINKS: FIRE podcast - https://tinyurl.com/tonph62
Would dating be easier if looks weren’t a consideration? In this episode we discuss the absurdity of Netflix’s "Love is Blind", and preferences vs. prejudice
Like this episode? TIP US at paypal.me/iswispodcast and come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/ SOCIALS instagram.com/iswis_podcast youtube: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4 twitter.com/mukundwa_
On Goop Lab, spiritual scammers and the importance - or lack thereof - of distinguishing science from wellness.
Like this episode? TIP US at paypal.me/iswispodcast and come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/ SOCIALS instagram.com/iswis_podcast youtube: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4 twitter.com/mukundwa_
Does contentment kill ambition, is it possible to be a pessimistic optimist?
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/ SOCIALS instagram.com/iswis_podcast youtube: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4 twitter.com/mukundwa_
In this episode we discuss how to identify constructive vs. combative conflict, navigating outgrowing family and being commodified within friendships.
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/ SOCIALS
instagram.com/iswis_podcast youtube: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4 twitter.com/mukundwa_
TRIGGER WARNING: sexual assault. Does redemption from sexual assault exist? Should our legacy be based on our best day or worst day? Does society respond to abusers and victims in constructive ways?
RESOURCES Daily Beast’s detailed reporting on Kobe rape case: https://tinyurl.com/y8f5okon Florence Given episode: https://play.acast.com/s/fucksgiven
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/ SOCIALS
instagram.com/iswis_podcast youtube: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4 twitter.com/mukundwa_
WE'RE JUST OVER 1 YEAR OLD!! Celebrating with a lighthearted Q&A: we think, we fight, we laugh.
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/ SOCIALS
instagram.com/mukundwa_ youtube: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4 twitter.com/mukundwa_
Navigating relationships with POC and white people. Where is the communication breakdown? Do the races really have to get along?
PAYPAL - m.katuliiba@gmail.com
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/ SOCIALS
instagram.com/mukundwa_ youtube: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4 twitter.com/mukundwa_
Today we discuss how love languages, intuition improve and complicate clear communication
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/
SOCIALS
instagram.com/mukundwa_ Youtube: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4 twitter.com/mukundwa_
We discuss tough love, loyalty and navigating mental health in friendships.
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/
SOCIALS
GUEST Bobo: instagram.com/bobo.matjila Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Youtube: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4 twitter.com/mukundwa_ Nyak www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
In this episode we discuss the concept of emotional labour within friendships: setting boundaries, pity friendships and capitalism seeping into our friendship transactions. TW: suicide and sexual violence.
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/
SOCIALS
GUEST Bobo: instagram.com/bobo.matjila Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Youtube: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4 twitter.com/mukundwa_ Nyak www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
Managing family dynamics during the festive season: is it everyday discourse or should you square up?
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/
SOCIALS
GUEST Bobo: instagram.com/bobo.matjila Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Youtube: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4 twitter.com/mukundwa_ Nyak www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
RESOURCES vaginismus podcasts: https://tinyurl.com/sxtckzb and https://tinyurl.com/t6ppoer GYM ORGASM: google coregasm female viagra - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66yisaGN5a8
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/
SOCIALS
Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Youtube: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4 twitter.com/mukundwa_ Nyak www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
TW: suicide. We discuss survival and consensual cannibalism, body integrity dysphoria, the state having control over our bodies, and enforcing self preservation
RESOURCES https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/castings-lots-podcast/casting-lots-a-survival-cannibalism-podcast/e/64964100
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/nov/07/fisherman-lost-at-sea-436-days-book-extract
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/
SOCIALS
Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Youtube: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4 twitter.com/mukundwa_ Nyak www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
Is wellness and clean eating the new diet culture?
RESOURCES: https://www.self.com/story/mild-bloating-after-eating-is-normal Podcast episode: https://tinyurl.com/scu5acl
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/
SOCIALS
Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Youtube: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4 twitter.com/mukundwa_ Nyak www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
TRIGGER WARNING: suicide is mentioned
In this episode we discuss happiness: is it a practical pursuit or a futile illusion? Are white people the happiest race, is the internet a portal to freedom or unhappiness and does love keep score?
karma: it is NOT punishment, karma is Newtons 3rd Law: for every action there is a reaction, it is circumstance as a result of action, totally void of value judgement like good and bad
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/
SOCIALS
GUEST Bobo: instagram.com/bobo.matjila Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Youtube: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4 twitter.com/mukundwa_ Nyak www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
In this episode we discuss managing internal noise and our experience with psychics and hypnotherapy
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/
SOCIALS
Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Youtube: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4 twitter.com/mukundwa_
Nyak www.instagram.com/nyakwez
Bobo & Flex join us to discuss the nuances around self-publishing and elevating ourselves on social media: what is the benefit and cost of clout? Do we want people’s truths or people’s performances? And does social media reward authenticity?
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/
SOCIALS
Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Youtube: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4 twitter.com/mukundwa_
Nyak (Co Host) www.instagram.com/nyakwezi/
Your friendship dilemmas answered! Are you a disposable friend? Is it sustainable to be attracted to your friends? And do you position yourself as a saviour?
GUEST: www.instagram.com/tloukie Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/
SOCIALS
Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Youtube: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4 twitter.com/mukundwa_
Nyak (Co Host) www.instagram.com/nyakwezi/
In this chatty episode Mukundwa and Nyak pick your topic suggestions from a hat and give their off-the-cuff opinions
PLEASE DM Mukundwa to feedback about this episode format! Do you prefer structured episodes nucleating around one theme, or did you like this casual chat format?
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/
SOCIALS
Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Youtube: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4 twitter.com/mukundwa_
Nyak www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
Transactional relationships have become increasingly mainstream: in this episode we discuss putting the “work” back into sex work. Popularised online as a get-rich-quick stint and an "elevated boyfriend experience", what are we missing about the physical and emotional labour required? What are the occupational hazards of being a sugar baby/blessee?
We are joined by B to discuss her experiences with transactional relationships
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/
SOCIALS
GUEST: B - https://twitter.com/vumani_bo Book mentioned: Clementine Ford - Boys Will Be Boys Event Hosted by B: "Surviving Capitalism" 6:15pm on 31.10.2019, Brookyln Exclusive Books, Pretoria
Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Youtube: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4 twitter.com/mukundwa_
Nyak www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
Are you going through an existential crisis? Welcome to the party! We discuss the discomfort of personal growth, relinquishing control during this process and how to pay attention to patterns. Is the luck or misfortune in your life a ~sign~ or incidental?
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/
SOCIALS
GUEST: Bonolo - www.facebook.com/maungocraftjam/
Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Youtube: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4 twitter.com/mukundwa_
Nyak www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
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What happens if you aren't particularly excellent at anything? In this episode award winning entrepreneur and friend Bonolo joins us to discuss money, career and freelancing. Is freelancing for the mediocre? How does conviction around career and the law of attraction interface with reality?
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - https://www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/
SOCIALS
GUEST: Bonolo - https://www.facebook.com/maungocraftjam/
Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Youtube: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4 twitter.com/mukundwa_
Nyak www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
Is it possible to reclaim the word ugly? We discuss:
Curating spaces that affirm you, Dress Sense as an art form: intrigue over appeal, Body Positivity vs. Body Neutrality and Reclaiming vs. Rejecting the term 'ugly'.
Please note some names bleeped out due to inaccurate information
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - https://www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/
MENTIONS+RESOURCES
The Beauty Myth - Naomi Wolf @flex.mami https://www.manrepeller.com/2014/04/why-i-dont-wear-makeup.html "How To Be Ugly And Confident" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyJw5C5JRWY Style inspo on instagram: Check out Mukundwa's IG highlight "fashion"
SOCIALS
Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Nyak: www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
YouTube:
Mukundwa: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4
Twitter:
Mukundwa: twitter.com/mukundwa_
In this episode we discuss framing singleness as a state of abundance rather than a state of limbo, lack and waiting. How can we use this time to get to know ourselves and our desires? We look at how serial dating can lead to betrayal of self, and how spending time alone can help us divest from the male gaze. Also, did Westlife singlehandedly ruin our romantic lives before they began?
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - https://www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/
Instagram Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Nyak: www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
YouTube: Mukundwa: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4 Twitter: Mukundwa: twitter.com/mukundwa_
In this episode we unpack the fallout of trigger warnings and double standards in online communication. And more pressingly, should Bums be allowed on Mars?
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - https://www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/
MENTIONS
Jameela Jamil - https://twitter.com/jameelajamil Nichiren Buddhism Discipline and Punish by Michel Foucault
DOWNLOAD September Gratitude Calendar - dl.orangedox.com/sept-gratitude ---
Instagram Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Nyak: www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
YouTube: Mukundwa: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4 Twitter: Mukundwa: twitter.com/mukundwa_
Ever police your boundaries so hard that you end up isolating yourself? Is your refusal of performing emotional labour ruining your social life? Nyak and I break down the difference between self-care and toxic self preservation. We look at how we get in our own way by setting anticipatory boundaries to combat fictional use, abuse and exhaustion.
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - https://www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/
Instagram: Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Nyak: www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
YouTube: Mukundwa: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4
Twitter: Mukundwa: twitter.com/mukundwa_
Nelisa joins us again to discuss: Is it un/healthy to make your relationships a microcosm of your politics and feminist ideology? We also look at how our relation to gender roles, masculine+feminine energy affect our expectations
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - https://www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/
GUEST: Nelisa - instagram.com/nelngcobo
Instagram: Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Nyak: www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
YouTube: Mukundwa: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4
Twitter: Mukundwa: twitter.com/mukundwa_
To Be Bitter or To Be Better, that is the question!
in Part 1 Nelisa joins us to discuss the following: are woke men found in the wild or do we have to educate them into the people we want to date? Is refusal to get deep on the first date a red flag, do we owe it to other women not to cheat with their men, and is asking "what are we?" really viable or effective?
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - https://www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/
GUEST: Nelisa - instagram.com/nelngcobo
Instagram: Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Nyak: www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
YouTube: Mukundwa: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4
Twitter: Mukundwa: twitter.com/mukundwa_
RESOURCES: https://www.instagram.com/theslumflower/ https://www.instagram.com/actualblackmermaid/
Resident zaddy Abolade joins us to explore the duality of therapy. We discuss the empowerment of receiving a diagnosis and the danger of internalising them, and also look at the limitations of western medicine and spirituality in addressing manifestations of existential dread
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - https://www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/
GUEST: Abolade - twitter.com/Aboladeee
Instagram: Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Nyak: www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
YouTube: Mukundwa: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4
Twitter: Mukundwa: twitter.com/mukundwa_
In this episode we discuss how career and moneymaking both help and complicate the pursuit of self. Is money a distraction? Or does the all-consuming activity of working help us make sense of life? Can we create meaning without a career? And is it possible to understand our value outside of productivity?
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - https://www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/
Instagram: Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Nyak: www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
YouTube: Mukundwa: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4
Twitter: Mukundwa: twitter.com/mukundwa_
In this episode we reflect on personal growth in 2019: AHA Moments, growing pains and the personal paths to a better version of ourselves
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - https://www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/
MENTIONS Abraham Hicks Nazeema (Healer) - https://www.facebook.com/Barefootbutterflyhealing/ Nichiren Buddhism The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson - https://amzn.to/2K10BzL
Instagram: Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Nyak: www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
YouTube: Mukundwa: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4
Twitter: Mukundwa: twitter.com/mukundwa_
This week we talk about surprise surprise FRIENDSHIPPPPP. This episode is the culmination of all our friendship episodes as Mukundwa takes her own advice and the results are SHOCKING
We discuss - Which is kinder, the crippling truth or a lie? - Can we transition vapid, unintentional friendships into meaningful ones? - Can you still be friends with someone if you love them but don't like them? - What happens to friendships that become more maintenance and damage control than bliss and new shared memories?
THE FRIENDSHIP AUDIT GUIDE: https://dl.orangedox.com/friendship-audit Send us feedback + testimonials about how you're finding this guide
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - https://www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/
Instagram: Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Nyak: www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
YouTube: Mukundwa: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4
Twitter: Mukundwa: twitter.com/mukundwa_
In part 2 we use three listener dilemmas as the lens through which to explore people pleasing and the intricacies of friendship amidst mental health issues
Come chat about this episode on our Facebook group! - https://www.facebook.com/groups/242333026713965/
Instagram Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Nyak: www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
YouTube: Mukundwa: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4 Twitter: Mukundwa: twitter.com/mukundwa_
RESOURCES
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Abraham Hicks
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Deepak Chopra on The Laws of Abundance (easiest to start today is Gratitude) : A) https://play.acast.com/s/09135fd4-faf8-48ac-bb91-ed3fcb4374ee/gid%3A%2F%2Fart19-episode-locator%2FV0%2F82ltjxQ9VKSYR-yGVaoNkU3IRM1JkQCYnbAlc7XcvrM B) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1C1v_5k80A C) The 7 Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra - https://amzn.to/2lk8mGZ
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Download Mukundwa’s free gratitude calendar here - https://tinyurl.com/y2u6afn3
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Transgenerational Trauma, Birth Repatterning, Past Life Regression Therapy. There are practitioners who deal with identifying and managing the above
In part 1 we discuss friendship transitions and the effort we do/nt make towards curating meaningful relationships. What doses it take to successfully transition a friendship from high school / university into adulthood? Do we want a quality of friendship that we aren’t willing to work for? And is requiring loyalty a cover up for your cowardice?
Instagram: Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Nyak: www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
YouTube: Mukundwa: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4
Twitter: Mukundwa: twitter.com/mukundwa_
Things get heated! Are some forms of activism better than others? Is impact more important than Intent? And who gets to decide whether internet activism is genuine or not?
GUEST: Andrew - www.instagram.com/tloukie
Instagram: Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Nyak: www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
YouTube: Mukundwa: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4
Twitter: Mukundwa: twitter.com/mukundwa_
MUKUNDWA IS BRAND NEW. In true Pisces fashion I have done a 180 and don't know what or who envy is. In this episode we reflect on the pillars of envy (perception and symbols of success, especially via social media). We also discuss personal branding on Instagram relying on aspiration and exclusivity, and debate whether every human can fulfil their dreams both within and outside of capitalism.
LEAVE A RATING AND REVIEW + CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION ON:
Instagram: Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Nyak: www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
YouTube: Mukundwa: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4
Twitter: Mukundwa: twitter.com/mukundwa_
In this episode Mukundwa details her struggles with envy and comparison, and Nyak takes the role of her unpaid therapist: do we get over envy by being+feeling BETTER than the other person? Do some people consciously try to inspire envy in others? Is it realistic to reimagine envy as inspiration?
LEAVE A RATING AND REVIEW + CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION ON:
Instagram: Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Nyak: www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
YouTube: Mukundwa: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4
Twitter: Mukundwa: twitter.com/mukundwa_
Someone asked me (Mukundwa)what prompted me to stop having sex with subpar men. Nyak and I dissect my answer: we discuss prioritising pleasure, body dissociation and energy transfers. We also argue about sweating during sex and the benefits of missionary vs. cowgirl (after all who deserves these kneecaps?!)
LEAVE A RATING AND REVIEW + CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION ON:
Instagram: Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Nyak: www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
YouTube: Mukundwa: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4
Twitter: Mukundwa: twitter.com/mukundwa_
In this episode we discuss what friendship breakups actually look like - are they explosive or silent withdrawals? Is it possible to run a friendship like a transaction, and how do we know if it's time to introduce conflict or bin the relationship altogether?
LEAVE A RATING AND REVIEW + CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION ON:
Instagram: Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Nyak: www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
YouTube: Mukundwa: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4
Twitter: Mukundwa: twitter.com/mukundwa_
FIRSTLY LEAVE A RATING AND REVIEW, I SEE Y'ALL DINING AND DASHING!!!
Is marriage the ghetto? In this episode we explore whether marriage is: - an unpaid internship - beneficial for women - a dumping ground for your daddy issues
We discuss personal development within relationships, friends demoting friends post-marriage, and the myth of happy ever after
GUEST: Retha - https://twitter.com/Retha101
Instagram: Mukundwa: instagram.com/mukundwa_ Nyak: www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
YouTube: Mukundwa: tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4
Twitter: Mukundwa: twitter.com/mukundwa_
We all Google our crushes (right?!): do you stop at LinkedIn or go to page 7 of the results? When does due diligence become stalking? Does bae OWE you transparency? Is invasion of privacy wrong if the person never finds out?
We discuss the line between due diligence and stalking, and discover that Mukundwa is Joe-from-Netflix adjacent :)
JOKES ASIDE: stalking (as well as abuse and lack of boundaries) can be hard to identify or 'prove', mostly because it is romanticised in mainstream media. If you suspect you are being abused or are abusive yourself, seek the advice of a profesh
GUEST: Andrew - https://www.instagram.com/tloukie
Instagram: Mukundwa: https://instagram.com/mukundwa_ Nyak: https://www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
YouTube: Mukundwa: https://tinyurl.com/y4x7klh4
Twitter: Mukundwa: https://twitter.com/mukundwa_
In this RAUCOUS episode we discuss - social media optics and why we have instagram if it ruins our mental health, we interrogate catfishing on apps, and racial stereotypes that JUMP OUT when dating
Abolade: https://twitter.com/Aboladeee
We read out comments and questions sent in by listeners as a followup to Part 1, link: https://tinyurl.com/y5q7joo8 . The topics touched upon are searching for meaning and purpose, the fear of old age and mourning via social media.
Youper: https://www.youper.ai
Abolade: https://twitter.com/Aboladeee
Ushbah: https://www.instagram.com/ushbiz/
PLEASE leave a rating + review!! And send in topic suggestions and questions
Manipulation? Emotionally checking out? Parring off the responsibility of breaking up? In this spicy episode we count down the ways in which we're problematic lovers!
SUBSCRIBE, LIKE AND COMMENT - I see you PIGEONS in the analytics not subscribing! Leave a review on iTunes + Spotify <3
NUNU https://twitter.com/neon_nu https://www.instagram.com/neon_nu
ABOLADE https://twitter.com/Aboladeee
Is polyamory conducive to longevity, and is longevity even a goal? Also do Gemini’s have emotions?
Nunu: https://www.instagram.com/neon_nu/ https://twitter.com/neon_nu
Name drops: https://soundcloud.com/innerhoeuprising
TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide
Ushbah discusses her experience with suicide and mental health, and we discuss apathy and death/life as choices
Holla at Ushbah - https://www.instagram.com/ushbiz/ Read her letter to her therapist about suicide: https://tinyurl.com/y3z3toy3
Are you beautiful if no one is there to see it? Are you beautiful if no one agrees?
We discuss the function of beauty, its shifting goalposts and gatekeepers, and whether beauty is a physical trait or an experience
Book mentioned: The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf - http://tinyurl.com/y4q74auw
IS THERE SUCH A THING AS FAST MONEY? Is money a karmic reward for effort, or can we cut corners to richness?
We also discuss money as escapism, happiness as an (impossible) destination and the difference between motivation and inspiration
In this episode we discuss looking for love in all the wrong places, and the journey of forgiving ourselves for romantic decisions made out of fear and insecurity
GETTING OLDER! We discuss TeamNoSleep, the tension between purpose and paycheck, and finding independence while still relying on parents
DO YOU HANG THE TOILET PAPER UNDER OR OVER??!!! We explore the labour of conflict and the burden of conflict avoidance.
Comment / DM us topic suggestions!
Can we have autonomy AND need our parents financial support? Do parents care about our happiness or our fulfilment of their expectations? WILL OUR PARENTS EVER PUT RESPECK ON OUR NAMES?
The road to celibacy is paved with bad sex and performativity. What kind of experiences contribute to the choice of celibacy, and what kind of sex would end it?
‘Sexcetera’ is a series of sex-related episodes. Send in comments, dilemmas and topic suggestions via DM or Curious Cat: curiouscat.me/podcastiswis
GUEST: https://www.instagram.com/micamontana/
Is anyone else fed up of being at war with their body? We discuss how people the world over spend their lives feeling fat, fearing fatness or trying to lose weight. We explore the links to childhood trauma around food and bodies, the male gaze and palatability.
Send in comments, dilemmas and topic suggestions via DM or Curious Cat: curiouscat.me/podcastiswis
Names dropped: https://twitter.com/yrfatfriend
Do we treat friends how they want to be treated or how they treat themselves? Should we intervene when a friends lack of personal boundaries burden the friendship?
Send in comments, dilemmas and topic suggestions via DM or Curious Cat: curiouscat.me/podcastiswis
instagram.com/mukundwa_ twitter.com/mukundwa_
Nyak (Co Host) instagram.com/nyakwezi
Follow #podcastiswis
On dating: splitting bills, gender performativity and labour division.
TRIGGER WARNING - gaslighting
Send in comments, dilemmas and topic suggestions via DM or Curious Cat: curiouscat.me/podcastiswis
instagram.com/mukundwa_ twitter.com/mukundwa_
Nyak (Co Host) instagram.com/nyakwezi
Boris - guest instagram.com/borisk15
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Should we respect boundaries we don't agree with? What happens when someone's boundary offends our sense of self?
Send in comments, dilemmas and topic suggestions via DM or Curious Cat: curiouscat.me/podcastiswis
instagram.com/mukundwa_ twitter.com/mukundwa_
Nyak (Co Host) instagram.com/nyakwezi
Follow #podcastiswis
Dating is a minefield. Add some blackness, fatness and pickiness - what do you get?
Catch Retha on:
https://soundcloud.com/thirdculturekidssquad (her podcast!) https://twitter.com/TCKsquad https://twitter.com/Retha101
Send in your comments, dilemmas and topic suggestions (ALL ANONYMOUSLY READ) via DM or Curious Cat : curiouscat.me/podcastiswis
www.instagram.com/mukundwa_ twitter.com/mukundwa_ ( #podcastiswis)
Nyak (Co Host) www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
What’s the difference between being challenged and tried? Who does cancel culture serve? Is personal freedom a result of cancelling people or calling them in?
The illustrious @Tloukie unpacks this for us between cackles! Follow him at www.instagram.com/tloukie
NEXT WEEK'S EPISODE IS ABOUT BLESSERS/SUGAR BABIES AND TRANSACTIONAL RELATIONSHIPS - send in your questions, comments and dilemmas (ALL ANONYMOUSLY READ) via DM or Curious Cat https://curiouscat.me/podcastiswis
www.instagram.com/mukundwa_/ twitter.com/mukundwa_
Nyak (Co Host) www.instagram.com/nyakwezi/
Follow #podcastiswis
DEUCES TWENTY EIGHTEEN
Was it cute or ashy? Or somewhere in the middle...
We discuss hard lessons on romance, self acceptance and (the impossibility of) outrunning your purpose
An earnest post mortem between exes on ghosting and the inevitability of mimicking our parents' romantic un/availability ..................................
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Would a debriefing with your ex be healing or hurtful? When is ghosting justified? Is the idea that we mimic our parents in relationships a valid justification or an excuse? How could YOU be a more compassionate partner? ..................................
What are your thoughts on the above, and what should we discuss next? Lets continue the conversation online using #iswispodcast -
Mukundwa https://www.instagram.com/mukundwa_ https://twitter.com/mukundwa_
Nyakwezi https://www.nyakwezi.com https://www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
Music - Soiree by Ark Patrol
On dating while black, navigating romantic trauma and sustainable romantic structures ..................................
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Have you identified and worked through your romantic trauma? Is dating while black an extreme sport? Do you believe in romantic longevity? Is it wise or shortsighted to date someone for the honeymoon phase and then dip once things gets complicated? ..................................
What are your thoughts on the above, and what should we discuss next? Lets continue the conversation online using #iswispodcast
Mukundwa https://www.instagram.com/mukundwa_ https://twitter.com/mukundwa_
Nyakwezi https://www.nyakwezi.com https://www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
Music - Soiree by Ark Patrol
On coming to terms with our own toxicity and getting cancelled by friends
.................................
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
What toxicity of your own do you have to come to terms with? Since toxicity is relative, is cancel culture necessary or unrealistic? Should friends be cancelled or repurposed? ..................................
What are your thoughts on the above, and what should we discuss next? Lets continue the conversation online using #iswispodcast -
Mukundwa https://www.instagram.com/mukundwa_ https://twitter.com/mukundwa_
Nyakwezi https://www.nyakwezi.com https://www.instagram.com/nyakwezi
Music - Soiree by Ark Patrol
WELCOME TO EPISODE 1 OF "I SAID WHAT I SAID"
ON CONFLICT - does conflict make or breaks friendships? And does your race and religion determine your your relationship to conflict?