Episode 281: Spiritual AlchemyFinding Inner Peace and Joy Interview Sohale SizarWelcome to the Love Your Story podcast! Today we’re here for a dose of inner peace. Isn’t that what we’re all searching for? Some days we may have a taste, some days it’s a million miles away.

Today Sohale Sizar, the founder of Soul, with the mission to illuminate the daily practice of gratitude for his rapidly growing online community, - which I”m a part of - is here and we’re talking about the practice of spiritual alchemy, knowing ourselves, and finding that illusive inner peace and joy. Stay tuned. We have something for you.

LYS Quip

Sohale Sizar has been an entrepreneur since the age of nine with fifteen years of dedicated practice in meditation and gratitude. Sohale translated his experiences into earning a Stanford MBA and building ventures spanning non-profit charities, education, and consumer technology. Sohale is now an entrepreneur on a mission to facilitate access to one's inner light. - Let’s find that inner light.

Sohale, thank you for being here today.

Join us on the audio program to hear our discussion about thing like this:

Tell us your story - usually we all have something happen in our lives that helps us learn or understand a thing better, and then we often want to share it. First - How did you get to this place, Second - what is your mission, and Third - how do you do it?
What is spiritual alchemy?
What do you think creates inner peace?
What is an “inner light”?
What sorts of ways do you suggest we “get to know ourselves?”

Thanks for being here today. I know your time is precious and we honor the time you spend with us.

Join us in two weeks for a Quick Chat - One Inspirational Idea in 15 minutes or less. And please, share this episode - it’s super easy to do - just send a link to someone you know. It’s a great way to share the love and make the world better.

The Love Your Story podcast will be taking a break toward the end of 2024. Thanks for being a part of our audience. I'd love to hear from you about your favorite episode or what you've enjoyed about the show. lorijlee@msn.com

Have a great week living your life on purpose.

Finding Sohale Sizar:

Website: https://www.bringsoul.life/ , https://www.sohale.org/about

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sohale.sizar/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/bringonsoul

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bringonsoul/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ssizar/

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Episode 280: Quick Chat - What's My Intention: Determining Your Intended Outcome SituationallyWelcome to the LYS Podcast. Let’s talk about road maps! Ever wished you had a road map to help life go a little smoother?

How many every-day situations do we just barge our way through? For most of us - that would be almost all of them. We head to a family party only to leave having gotten in a fight with a sibling because we got caught up in a reactive situation. We go on a walk with a friend and feel frustrated that the conversation was so focused on their bad relationship. We head into a client meeting and come out feeling like that could have gone better and we should have gotten more accomplished.

It’s a simple question: How could this experience have gone better if I’d clarified ahead of time what I wanted out of this interaction. Stay tuned because this tool changes everything.

This simple idea today is about checking in with yourself before you head into any situation, to see what you really hope it holds for you. This is SOOO simple, but so powerful. #LIFEHACK

Setting a clear intention before entering in to an interaction is a tool that shapes the dynamics of human interaction. It shapes your stress levels. It shapes what you allow to bother you and what you let slide. It shapes what you talk about and what you don’t talk about. It shapes what you focus on. It shapes your energy. In summary - it provides a simple road map for you, for the interaction, guiding your thoughts, words and actions.

This proactive approach fosters first - clarity for you and second, greater success in getting what you want from the situation.

When you are clear with yourself, about what you want to get out of an interaction you are much more likely to get that outcome-

Let me show you what I mean: I’m taking my boys skiing. If I identify before hand that my purpose with this outing is to build relationships with them, then I can clarify ahead of time that it’s not about doing the hardest runs I can find, it’s not about penny pinching by heading to the car at lunch to eat PB & Js. It’s about relationship building. Once I know that I can forgo my own desire to hit the hardest trails, if they don’t want to go on those same trails and it’s not a big deal. There is no struggle on the hill and I’ve already decided I’m not going to go shooting off to do my own runs. I already know that it’s about spending time with them and enjoying the runs they want to do. I can also choose to splurge on a lunch because they are young men who love a big juicy burger - I’ve identified before hand that t’s not about the money, it’s about the time with them. We can sit around the table and talk and enjoy ski lodge burgers.

Example #2 - Before a client meeting I might identify with myself that despite a huge list of things I need to cover with my clients, that this meeting is all about helping them understand the process involved in buying a home so they are clear on what to expect. It’s not about getting paperwork signed, or overwhelming them with all the dotted i’s and crossed t’s - even though those things are in my mind. When I stop and pin point what I really want from this meeting I can direct it, stay on point, not get discouraged that everything doesn’t get done, not force too much on them. Again, this pre determination allows me to proceed smoothly and unemotionally through the process of what I want to accomplish in this interaction and let all the other factors fall away for now.

One of the things I personally love about this is how much peace it brings to me in my interactions. It’s a great tool to help manage emotions. Interactions with family, friends, bosses, clients, etc. can all be very complex.. I have hot buttons and money issues. I have expectations and reactions to a myriad of things. This compass allows me, and YOU, to know ahead of time exactly what we want out of this and it helps us take better control of our emotions and reactions when they don’t align with the outcome we want.

Try it. You may feel like you already know ahead of time, but as you start practicing it you will find that there are usually a lot of other ideas mixed in with it - like a little resentments, or past expectations, or messages your tempted to throw out that are unhelpful, or selfish intentions, money concerns - real or imagined …..lots of things get mixed in with our interactions, so when I take the time before hand to get clear on my intention for that experience, every time they go more smoothly. Every time I let go of the things I need to let go of before I engage.

Whether the intention is to foster collaboration or resolve conflict or build a relationship or convey information, —having your intention clear in your own mind aids you in structuring your thoughts and approach. It allows you to let go of unneeded expectations, it allows you to be assertive where needed and laid back when appropriate.

This road map, this compass allows you to steer yourself, the conversation, the interaction in the desired direction.

Wayne Dyer said, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

I think this quote encapsulates the whole Love Your Story podcast, but today it is a reminder that when we stop, check in with ourself about what we hope to get or create in an upcoming situation, gathering, meeting, party, a communication, that it changes how we approach it and you will find it WILL change how you interpret it as it is unfolding. You will see it differently and you will have a map that shows you what matters in that moment and what doesn’t.

I hope this quick chat about taking a moment to Know Your Intention will change things for you. Simple, but powerful. USE IT PEOPLE! USE IT!

Join us in 2 weeks for my interview with Sohale Sizar and the texts that remind you to think about what you’re grateful for.

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Episode 279: Life By Design: The Power of Positive Habits - Interview Amy KempWelcome to the Love Your Story podcast. I’m your host Lori Lee.

Can we agree that our thought habits basically build our worlds? How small we stay, how big we become, what we allow, what we don’t allow, how much we sacrifice, how hard money is to come by, etc. etc. these type of thought habits are the spaces we function from. In today’s show we are talking about thought habits, with the expert Amy Kemp, author of “I See You.”

Stay tuned for my in-depth conversation with this certified Habit Finder coach who has worked with literally hundreds to help people see how our habits impact our lives and how we can replace unhealthy thought habits with more healthy ones.

Amy Kemp not only coaches, but she also gives workshops, speaks on stage, and has now released her new book: I See You. I’m excited to sit with Amy to learn and share as we talk about this powerful piece of our lives - our habits. So let’s hop right in.

Amy, Welcome to the show.

Please join us on the audio program to hear our discussion about the following:

At the start of your book you share this wonderful story of meeting with a woman for the first time, a woman who, as you had coffee shared her career path, her accolades, her successes. A woman who looked to have everything together. When she asked why you had asked her to lunch, you said, “Because I see you. Because I really see you.” Which brought the woman to tears. - WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY “I REALLY SEE YOU?’

What does a certified Habit Finder Coach do?

What are some of the most oft seen habits you see that do not serve people?

What habits do you replace those with?

Boundaries - Let’s talk about thought habits and boundaries. (Let her speak) In your book you quote Prentis Hemphill and her definition, “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.”

In your book you ask a questions, “Wht if everything we want and are trying to create depends on only 1 thing: how connected we are to the source from which all things come?

Do you believe this and why?

Let’s get back to habits - If you had one tool that you have seen really make a difference in helping people realize which habits are holding them back what would it be?

How do we change unhealthy habit? Tell us the story of “Respect the mile.)

Share with us what you have to offer: your coaching, your book, where listeners can find you.

How to find Amy Kemp and the Habit Finder Tool:

Website: Amylynnkemp.com

Insta: @amykempinc

Email: amy@amylynnkemp.com

Often times our habits are something we aren’t even aware of. I certainly do not believe I am aware of all of mine. In fact I am aware of very few of mine. I hope our conversation with Amy Kemp, today, has given you a gentle awareness - a reminder of how important it is to understand the habits - THE AUTOPILOT - we are allowing to run our lives, to create our worlds. To live intentionally - which is what this show is all about - is to be aware, and to make choices, actively.

Blessings to you and yours. May you see your habits as they truly are and use your power to shift what you wish to shift, to respect the mile you are currently running. Until the next show - Live beautifully and with heart. See you in two weeks.

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Episode 278: Quick Chat - Beginnings, Middles and EndsWelcome to the LYS Podcast. These quick chats are written around an idea that stands out to me that I want to chat with you about. Something that we can discuss in under 15 minutes that will hopefully be as interesting to you as it was to me.

Todays is about how our lives are not one big story, they are made up of a bunch of smaller stories - lots of beginnings, middles, and ends. And I especially want to talk a little about the messy middles.

Tune into the audio for this quick chat that I hope will give a little reprieve if you’re stuck in a messy middle, some hope if you’re at the end of something you didn’t want to end, and maybe some excitement at what new beginnings may be around the corner.

This week I read an email from Mary Alice Arthur, a story practitioner that I had on the show on episode 217 where we talked about “What is the most important story in the world.” Her email really hit home with me and I wanted to share it with you.

Today we’re talking about how we like to think of life as one big story, but in reality life is made up of a bunch of shorter stories - There are new beginnings, new adventures, new experiences, new starts. And there are other stories in our lives that are ending - the end of a project, the end of a job or a relationship, the death of someone or something. But the part I want to talk most about is the MESSY MIDDLE. The messy middle strikes me right now because it’s such an uncomfortable place where we often don’t know what is going to happen next. How will we find our way through? There is a lot of unknown.

One of the ways you can tell you’re in the Messy Middle, Mary Alice says, is that things don’t make sense any more. What you used to do isn’t working. Things feel out of control.

This was comforting to me to acknowledge that confusion may be part of the process of living because I must be in the messy middle of a lot of things. Menopause is upon me and the “me” I used to know is no longer the “me” that is here. My body is weaker, my skin is less resilient, my energy and drive have abandoned me. I’ve been really struggling with not recognizing who I am. Really struggling. So when I read her ideas on the middle, I thought, “Oh, I’m in the messy middle. I don’t know how this is going to turn out because I don’t have it figured out yet. I haven’t figured out hormone adjustments. I haven’t come to grips with a slower self. I haven’t relaxed into acceptance yet. Perhaps it’s not the end of the world as I know it, it’s just the messy middle.”

I’m also at a loss as how to deal with my adult children who are struggling with depression and existential crisis. Nothing I do helps them. I’m at a complete loss and it’s painful. I must be in the messy middle.

We’re looking at a variety of financial investments. The pieces aren’t coming together as fast as I’d like. It’s dragging on. I guess we’re in the messy middle.

Mary Alice asks the question: What do you do when you’re in the messy middle? She suggests that sometimes the best thing to do is simply make a move. Get your hands dirty.

I think this is great advice. I probably like it so much because it gives us power. I have a number of thought quotes at my desk. They say things like: “Yes…and” This saying reminds me that when something happens the best move is simply to acknowledge it and then decide the next best move.

The next sticky note thought on my desk says, “Get curious about new ways of doing things.” The next one says, “Follow your intuition.”

The pattern here is that all these reminders are about taking action. We won’t get any where - we’ll stay exactly where we are if we don’t push on the gas. So push on the gas and steer as corners come up, but just sitting there isn’t going to change anything. Even when you don’t know where you’re going, putting the car in motion is a great start.

As I end this quick chat I want to point out the over-used but true quip that when one door closes another opens. If you’re in an ending, it’s not the end of everything, there will be new beginnings. And sometimes a thing has to end to bring you the next new and wonderful beginning.

If you’re at a beginning there can be so much excitement and possibility. Great things still to be experienced.

I’ll use me as an example: I’m at the end of a youthful body and the energy that went with it, but I’m at the beginning of a recreation of what the last part of my life can look like. I am at a place of exploration and that can be very exciting to recreate, to be curious about what I want now. What needs to shift, what gets to be different. What is good for 54 year-old me.

Beginning, Messy Middle, End = they are all necessary and part of the process of living. Make the best of each one by being aware of the story you are telling yourself during the process. It’s always about mindset.

Blessings to you as you navigate your new starts, your messy unknowns where you just take action to keep moving through the story the best you can, and the endings where things get tied up and make a lot more sense, or goodbyes bring emotions, new outlooks, new beginnings.

It’s all part of life. We signed up for all of it. Good luck in your navigation.

See you in two weeks for the next episode of the LYS podcast and please share this with someone who might need a quick bit of inspiration.

Also, please note that the Love Your Story podcast will be taking a leave from publishing at the end of 2024. Please let me know how the podcast has made a difference in your life. Thanks for being a part of our audience.

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Episode 277: Tips for Successfully Parenting Adult Children: Interview - Emily and Erik OrtonHow to get a Seat on your Adult Kids’ Board of Directors.

Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast! I’m your host Lori Lee and today we are talking about the complexity and balance of interacting with and influencing our adult children.

My guests today are Emily and Erik Orton, You’ll remember them from Episode 133 - Seven at Sea, where we talked about the year they took their 5 kids and lived on a sail boat.This was one of my all-time favorite episodes because I so loved the things Erik and Emily shared.

I’m very excited to have them back on the show! But I’m also excited because I’m personally having a hard time getting on the board of directors for my adult kids - or in other words, I’m not having a great deal of success having any influence with my adult children. How do they still think I have nothing to share with them….???? What am I doing wrong?

Stay tuned as we get to talk shop with Erik and Emily as they share their expertise they have developed and share through their business The Awesome Factory.

Erik + Emily Orton - Erik is an Emmy Award-winning writer and producer. Emily is an educator, author and public speaker. Their life design framework mutes fear and accelerates growth. They are parents to five kids raised in Manhattan, where Erik worked on such shows as Wicked, Les Miserables and The Phantom of the Opera. When their kids were 6-16 years old, Erik and Emily bootstrapped life aboard a fixer upper sailboat in the Caribbean. They sailed as a family from St. Martin back to New York City. Their memoir about the experience (Seven at Sea) is a New York Times Top 10 Travel book. After life on the boat, they continued to travel the world with their children through Europe, the South Pacific, Africa, and across North and South America in planes, trains, boats and vans. They are the co-founders of The Awesome Factory, a coaching and travel adventure company that leads retreats and sailing adventures all over the world.

Emily and Erik - Welcome back to Love Your Story!

TUNE INTO THE AUDIO DISCUSSION TO HEAR THE THOUGHTS ON THESE AND OTHER IDEAS:

Lets start with your story. That introduction gave everyone a super quick look at the adventures of your past decade, but I’d love to have you share some of the highlights you’ve had with your family - particularly those that have helped you build relationship with them in a way that they now give you a place on their board of directors.
You coach and direct a great deal regarding empty nesters and dealing with adult children. How did you metamorphose into this space of expertise?
Let’s jump right in - I attended an entire evening presentation on this topic, with you, so I know there is lots to talk about. How do we get on our adult kids’ board of directors?
What kinds of things do you have coming up and where can people find you?

Finding the Ortons:

Here is the link to The 100 Year Grid:

https://www.theawesomefactory.nyc/100

They tell all about how to use it in episode 18 of their podcast - What Could Go Right?

The 100 Year Grid – How to Visualize Your Whole Life on 1 Sheet of Paper

https://youtu.be/YWYKl6Y7-E4?si=Ay4x3aXw9Cs_WJNx

Their Podcast: What Could Go Right

Their Website: https://www.theawesomefactory.nyc

Thanks for being with us today. Please share this episode with someone who has adult kids and let’s share the love of helping one another navigate the tough stuff. Join us in two weeks for our Quick Chat - one inspirational idea in 15 minutes or less and have a great week creating your life with intention.

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Episode 276: Quick Chat: The Power of "I AM" Statements - How to Shift EverythingWelcome to the LYS podcast. Today is a Quick Chat - 1 inspirational idea in 15 minutes or less. We are talking about I AM Statements and being creators. (insert applause reel)

The other day I was listening to Oprah’s Super Soul podcast and her interview with pastor Joel Osteen a pastor from Houston, TX that is a very popular up and coming pastor. It aired on Sept 20 2022 if you want to catch it.

They were talking about how you become what you believe. And, what we believe is what we tell ourselves - so the whole show was about the power of the statement “I AM”

And of course, this is the same thing as…..what story am I telling myself about myself. Today we’re talking about I AM statements, stay tuned and let’s reprogram any mean lingering voices.

People - IT COMES DOWN TO THE SIMPLE THINGS.

My son and I think about the world differently. He tries to unwind the mysteries of the universe. The other day he was incredibly excited because he found a scientific video showing how eternal life could happen scientifically. He showed it to all of us - thrilled to have found something that made sense to him, but it wasn’t striking home for me. I thought about our different approaches to life. As we’ve discussed things over the past year, I’ve realized that complication drives him, but for me when I am trying to learn or comprehend or progress, I love simple. I have found that in my religion, in my way of being, in my growth patterns I love simple tools or simple concepts to focus on..

For example. Instead of looking at the entire doctrinal cannon of my church and feeling frustrated that I’m not good at all of it. I love just working on love. Sometimes I’m good at it and sometimes I’m not, but I know if I get that down or even make progress on it, that it’s one of the things God tells us is most important. And, love really bleeds into everything, forgiveness, healthy self-love, charity, service, etc. So there is plenty to do, but instead of living in overwhelm I work on love.

So, I mention this because the “I AM” statements are such a simple way to realize how you are setting the tone for your life.

It starts when you wake up in the morning.

Start with gratitude - I am grateful for…..there is always something - hot water, a warm bed, health, a good friend, my dog, a great sweater, my kids…… Train yourself. Open your eyes and say thank you or I’ve got this, or I AM confident, I am creative, I am disciplined, I am focused.

What is the difference in the start of your day if you start with:

I’m fat, I’m not attractive, I’m unlucky, I’m a bad parent, I’m not enough, I’m so tired, I’m not worthy….vs. I’m grateful, I’m all over this, I’m excited to see what happens today, I’m making this a great day, I am going to have some great interactions today. I’m getting healthier everyday.

For me - those two create completely different days! Completely different.

Paster Joel say, “Whatever follows “I Am” will come looking for you.” - What do you think of that idea? If you get to choose what chases you down in the world - well, then I’m inspired to put some good things out there because that’s what I want chasing me.

Your life is how you see it - that is a fact. So talk a second and thing about what follows “I AM” for you?

If you want to know where you’ll be in 5 years, stop and pay attention to what follows “I AM” in your own mind….

So let’s talk about how we shift these….

You don’t have to go to the extreme when changing these. Oprah shared an example of a day she was really tired. As she kept saying “I’m so tired” she got more and more tired. Then she caught herself and she knew she couldn’t say “I’m energized” because she wasn’t, but she could say “I’m looking forward to getting my second wind.”

We can’t lie to ourselves, because well….we know we are lying, but we don’t have to go from one extreme to another. Let’s just swap the direction we’re looking - do a 180, and take steps toward the light - toward the more supportive I AM.

When you say “I’m beautiful” you invite a beauty mindset in. It’s not magic, but our words change our self image.

When we spend all day saying, “I am confident, I am focused, I am creative, I’m disciplined, I’m blessed, I’m talented, I’m valuable….that’s doing something on the inside of us.

When we hear ourselves saying that and we begin thinking it, we empower ourselves to shift into much more positive energy. And that positive energy changes everything. Powerful truths here - it not only changes our self perception but it changes what we attract, it changes how we show up in the world. And that dominoes our success our relationships our progress what we attract into our world. Drop the Mic!!

Even when we are in dark spots….instead of focusing on the dark, focus on the sun that’s above the clouds. The sun is still there and I’ll see it again.

I Am Statements - It’s a simple idea - like I said, I like simple. But not only is it simple, it’s true, it’s powerful, and it’s about creating. It’s about you being a creator of your life. God is a creator, you are a creator in training.

I AM statements are the magic words for creating the mindset that creates the energy that creates the YOU.

Thanks for being here today for this quick chat. I challenge you to start paying attention to the I AM statements going on in your mind and shift them one at a time.

Share this episode with one person you love - because we all need to be doing this work. And we’ll see you in two weeks for the next episode of the Love Your Story podcast.

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Episode 275: Everything They Never Taught Us in School about Money - Interview Kristen WonchWelcome to the Love Your Story podcast. I’m your host Lori Lee.

Last year one of the favorite episodes was my interview with Dr. Amanda the money doctor. Money is a really big part of our lives, so of course people want to learn and de-mistify how to get it, how to grow it, how to remove blocks to it.

So 2024 delivers as well. Today Kristen Wonch, a wizard with numbers and one of a handful of women to land a highly coveted role of structuring multi million dollar deals as a commodities trader, is here on the show to talk with us about choosing with intention the life we want and then building the numbers around it. Her Money Mastery Method is the world’s first to teach women to master the art of earning efficiently, spending smart and investing intentionally, while rewiring subconscious money beliefs from the ground up. That’s all big stuff. So, stay tuned and get richer.

Kristien - Welcome to the LYS Podcast

Join us on the audio to listen to our discussion on topics like:

You went from $100,000 in debt to being a global money coach. Can we start with your story about how you turned that around?
Let’s talk about creating our life on purpose - money is often a big part of that. How do you coach someone through this process?
What about this process where you determine the life you desire and then build the numbers around it?
What is an unbudget?
Let’s talk money blocks. How do you figure out if you have money blocks and what they are?
What do you do with them once you’ve identified them?
What are the top 3 things you advise women to do in their financial lives?

Find Kristen Wonch at:

Free Investor Secrets Revealed Workshop:

https://www.kristenwonch.com/investor-secrets

Kristen@kristenwonch.com

1.📈 Book your free Breakthrough Call

2.💰 Get my Financial Freedom Checklist

3.🎙 Listen to The Wealth Equation Podcast

If you enjoyed this podcast you’ll love the book I wrote - It’s called LIFE - Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday. A guide with 21 challenges that help you create connection, possibility and self care in your life. It’s all about a guide to helping you live bigger. Grab your coy on Amazon and maybe even pick up a copy for a friend and do the challenges together.

I hope you found something fabulous to take into your life in today’s show. Join us in two weeks for our next episode and keep living YOUR life YOUR way.

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Episode 274: Quick Chat - Every Problem is a Thought ProblemWelcome to the Love Your Story podcast. I’m your host Lori Lee and today you are here for a Quick Chat - that’s one inspirational idea in 15 minutes or less.

Today chat is: Every Problem is a thought problem.

It’s a bold statement. But a true one. And one that sets us free. One that puts us in control, most of the time.

So stay tuned as we discuss how much power ACTUALLY have, and how to solve the problems.

Since you are a listener of the Love Your Story podcast I’m going to make the assumption that we are on the same page on the topic of taking responsibility for the pivotal role our thoughts play in shaping our realities. Basically - our thoughts OR stories that we create in our minds create our realities - are we on the same page there? There are 7 Billion realities going on out there…

Ok. With that said, I want to start out with the quote by Byron Katie. She says, “It’s not the problem that causes our suffering; it’s our thinking about the problem.”

In other words, “Every problem is a thought problem.”

Let’s put me in the hot seat. 2023 was a rough year for Realtors and lenders. The higher interest rates meant that for a great many of us the clients buying and selling slowed down. I primarily blamed my slow year on this situation, but here’s another angle - a slower year allowed me to travel more. It gave me more time to reach out and renew and develop relationships with my data base - my past clients. Which part do I want to focus on? Was it a problem or an opportunity? Problems don’t have to stay problems, they can become opportunities if we choose to shift our thoughts.

In the realm of personal development and self reflection this idea invites us to scrutinize the nature of our challenges by recognizing the subjective nature of them. By understanding and claiming that situations and ideas only hold the power we allow them to hold.

Another example - if I come from a family where being a part of a certain religion is tantamount to being right with God and the world, then if I step away from that religion my social construct - family, friends, and members of that congregation may collapse around me, or cause people pain. On the other hand, if there is an acceptance among those people that everyone find their own way in the world, in a way that each individual feels is best for them, then the suffering ceases to happen.

Or, if respect is really important to me, as it is to most type A personalities and I am disrespected, I will/can feel a lot of resentment, anger, frustration, maybe even embarrassment about this, whereas someone for whom that is not an important thing may hardly notice it, or may not feel disrespected in a similar situation. In other words - situations are subjective. Problems are subjective.

My mother used to get really upset when her family parties didn’t unfold as she had expected - her expectations weren’t met and she’d often cry before the night was through - she learned to let go of those expectations and go with the flow as the years went by, but this is a good example of a person creating pain for themselves and then learning how to adjust their thoughts in a way that created less pain for them.

Now let’s combine this with the idea that “everything happens for me, not to me.” With the combination of these two ideas a powerful shift occurs. A shift that can redefine the way we navigate life’s complexities.

Katie’s assertion is that our thoughts about our circumstances themselves contribute more to our issues than do the circumstances themselves.

This is an important thing to realize because when we internalize the belief that problems are, at their core, rooted in thought patterns, then we gain agency over our responses which helps us with resiliency and adaptability. And when we get good at recognizing the stories we have naturally created about an event, and we transition into looking at other ways we could interpret or shift that story or thought, then we become powerful! We become the thought shifters that move us toward our own happiness.

When/if you adopt the idea that the things that happen in our lives are happening for our well being - happening “for” us, not “to” us, we start embracing a narrative tool that allows us to view challenges as opportunities for self-discover, for growth, for development, rather than being a victim.

P O W E R F U L

This is the mindset that allows us to step out of victimhood.

Jeffry R. Holland, apostle in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints said, “To anybody struggling today, I say: Be hopeful, be happy and smile. Remember that God is on your side. He is not an angry, vicious God trying to trip you. He is for you - not against you. He is your Father. He is anxious to do everything possible to bless you.”

When I started my graduate work back in 2013 I was biting off a lot. I was working full time, driving an hour and a half up to Utah State University to teach every day and to take my own classes. I was grading student papers and was a single mom of 2 teenagers. I was very determined and excited, and I remember on my drive up, the first day of class, the thoughts that were crossing my mind were very distrustful of God. After a while of fearful thoughts like “he’s just waiting for me to make a mistake,” I realized what I was doing. I don’t know why my thoughts naturally went to a god who was waiting to make things hard on me, but I remember the exact moment when the thought pushed through - he is for you, not against you. He is your cheerleader. He’ll help you succeed in the ways you want to succeed. He’ll help you do this. At that thought my entire body changed. The tension left, the relief flooded in. The moment was very profound for me.

Two tools I want to leave with you today:

All problems are thought problems, so when you’re having a difficult time with something, take a minute to look at the stories (not that your stories are wrong, they are just creating your reality and your emotion around things.) and consider what you can shift or let go of that will change that suffering, that will allow you to proceed in peace.
When you embrace the idea that things are happening for me - you gain the powerful, supportive mindset that challenges are intricately woven into the fabric of personal evolution and we can extract meaning and growth from all these spaces. This mindset transcends the dichotomy of positive and negative experiences, weaving a narrative where each moment - good and bad, contributes to the tapestry - the intricate and beautiful design of our lives.

Let me also add, that in practice, embracing this idea also plants seeds for gratitude. It plants seeds of resilience during hard times because we can find solace and purpose in the adversity.

As we close up this quick chat I invite you - I challenge you, to examine the role of your thoughts in regard to your suffering, in regard to your subjective interpretation of the world around you, in regard to your challenges. See if you’re feeling like a victim and what needs to change so you can take responsibily for your own role in your suffering.

I hear you…your saying….but he did cheat on me, that’s a fact, and under no circumstances is that ok. All true, perhaps. But if you stay in the victim role about how you were done wrong so you have an excuse for no functioning well, for being bitter, then you’ve missed your own power. Those things can be true, but you can focus on the fact that now that person who wasn’t doing right by you is out of your life, or you can tune into the understanding you have of others who have gone through this. You can learn about yourself and what part you played, she what’s behind that door….

But my dad didn’t make me feel loved so I have every right to ignore him, cop an attitude, be disrespectful. Dads are “supposed” to do XYZ. Well, take that apart. Your shoving him away isn’t helping build a relationship. Did you try to communicate with him in loving ways? What did you do to try and build relationship? Love begets love. Let’s problem solve here instead of blaming and wallowing.

Then, take the “everything happens FOR me” mindset and insert it into these spaces and see what shifts for you. Try this over and over. It will change your world.

How is the challenge before you FOR you?

The other day I was digging my heels in about letting a couple people into my life that I have no desire to be around. I try to stay in a space of higher vibe people, I try to put up boundaries to people I feel are unhealthy. Well, these folks that I needed to forgive and consider softening toward were right in my face and I wanted nothing to do with it, but I was writing this and so I went to HOW IS THIS FOR ME? It was easy - this was an opportunity for me to learn to love better. This was an opportunity for me to work on forgiving, letting go, kindness. Still working it through, but it definitely changes the mindset.

Thanks for tuning in for this quick chat about one very powerful idea. I hope you’ll use it as you embrace your power over your own reality.

Please share this episode with at least one person you love and have a great couple weeks creating your life on purpose and creating a story you love. See you soon for the next episode of the Love Your Story podcast.

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Episode 273: The Road to More Confidence - Interview Christina LecuyerWelcome to the Love Your Story podcast, I’m your host Lori Lee.

Have you ever met someone that brimmed with confidence? I can tell you that there is an energy behind confidence. There is a way you hold yourself, a mindset of expectation that doors will open for you, a presence that actually opens those doors.

There are so many powerful concepts - gratitude, love, allowing, accountability - but today we’re talking about confidence. I’m excited about this because we haven’t talked about confidence before, been coached in confidence before and WE DON’T WANT TO SHORT CHANGE THIS INCREDIBLE MINDSET.

Today I have Chrstina Lecuyer on the show - Voted one of the top Confidence coaches, this former professional golfer and TV host now works with an extensive ist of cientele from around the world. .

Tune into the audio program for a little coaching.

What does confidence look like?

How do we get it if we don’t have it?

Where do we start and how do we use it?

Confidence is defined as a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.

Our guest today - Christina, battled low self-confidence, an eating disorder, and tying her worth to external validation, Christina was able to turn her life around to create her dream life and a multi six figure business. She uses the same tools she used for herself to help hundreds of clients to create their own profit and success. Through her signature “Decision, Faith & Action” framework clients have not only brought their own dream life into reality, but many have gone on to create multi six and seven figure businesses in the process. I guess we can tie confidence in ourselves to success in business, but I think it propeturates success in all areas of our lives.

Let’s see what Christina says. Join the audio to hear our conversation about:

Christina's story: Who were you when you were battling with this low self-esteem and what caused the eating disorder, and how did you evolve and transition out of that?
Let’s talk about why confidence is important.
Isn’t this a topic almost everyone could use a little coaching in?
If you don’t feel confident in yourself? If you’re one of those who hugs the walls, or doesn’t risk, or prays nothing bad will happen because you may crumble under it….how do you start to step into more confidence? Maybe give us a little coaching here:
What are some of the stories of people you’ve coached, some of the transformations you’ve seen?

To find Christina:

christina@christinalecuyer.com

www.christinalecuyer.com

1 on 1 Confidence coaching - You're One Decision Away from the Life of your Dreams.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.”

I share this quote because if you haven’t stopped to consider all the tough stuff you’ve navigated, do. Stop and think about it, and realize that when the tough stuff comes along, you make it through. You’ve done it before, you can do it again. This recognition builds confidence in our resiliency, which helps us live with less fear.

And one more quote: Dale Carnegie said, “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”

I share this one because of it’s truth also - when we step outside our comfort zone, our comfort zone expands. It expands because we are engaging with life, we are making things happen, we are learning that we can step out and do.

I hope as you go about your day that you’ll stand a little taller, shoulders back, that you’ll call on 20 seconds of bravery and push your comfort zone when you come up against those walls. Know that you are unique, beautiful, and your belief in yourself will be the vehicle that moves your world.

Please share this episode with someone you love….or even like a little. We’ll see you in two weeks for a Quick Chat.

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Episode 272: What God Can Do with Loss Interview Nicole HolgreenBridle Up Hope

Every once in awhile I run across a story with lots of miracles. Stories, where for some reason, God, the Universe, Fate seems to really be backing up a person or a project. Today we are looking at one of those. We’re going to sit around this technological camp fire and listen to a story about how a young girl passing away from depression created a program that’s backed by miracles.

We’re talking with Nicole Holgreen, the executive director of Bridal Up Hope out of Alpine, Utah, a Rachel Covey Foundation.

Tune into the audio to hear how this foundation that was created after Rachel Covey’s suicide, to support the mental health of girls and women through equine assisted learning - yes - hanging out with horses - how this program finds itself in “ a tidal wave of miracles.”

This is a story of depression and support. It’s a story about the bond between a girl and her horse and it’s a story about hope, healing scars, transformation and miracles in a time when we sorely need them.

Nicole Holgreen is the Executive Director of Bridle Up Hope. She has led an incredible team to expand this organization and its mission to 13 locations worldwide. Nicole oversees the Alpine, Utah Headquarters and the 100 weekly lessons for women and girls here. Nicole is devoted to Bridle Up Hopes's mission to inspire hope, confidence, and resilience through equestrian training and The 7 Habits written by Stephen Covey. Nicole is a Provo, UT. girl and she and her husband Jared have four children and one grandson.

Nicole - Welcome to the LYS Podcast

Join us on the audio program to hear our conversation about:

I want stories - when you and I were talking awhile back we filled a couple hours with stories of the miracles that have supported Bridle Up Hope in it’s opening to the world, and even that supported getting you here.
Nicole shares her story - Where were you in life when you started crossing paths with Bridle Up Hope?
Can I get some specific miracle stories - the ones that stand out to you - that have made Bridal Up Hope possible.
Let’s talk about the girls and women that have come here. How many do you serve? Can you share some of your favorite success stories? How have you watched them become empowered?
Let’s talk about Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits. What are they and how do they help the girls and women
What do you see for the future of Bridle Up Hope?

If someone wants to come to you for service where do they find you OR If someone wants to open a location on their own property - help expand this 1000 barn goal, who do they contact?

Nicole Holgreen

Executive Director of Bridle Up Hope

1141 Watkins Lane

Alpine, UT. 84004

https://www.bridleuphope.org/

Mental health is maybe one of the world’s largest challenges right now. How wonderful that there are highly productive programs that save, that support, that help us navigate this devastating path during this crucial time. This is a story of making a difference, a story of miracles and lives saved.

If you know any women who may be struggling with mental health issues, or if you want to be involved by opening your own Bridal Up Hope non-profit franchise, I hope you’ll share this episode and reach out.

Have a wonderful week, and remember to create your best life with full intention. Listen to back episodes for all the best tools and mind training to help you to create your best story. We’ll see you in two weeks for the next episode. Thank you dear listeners for being here.

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Episode 271: Quick Chat - Reframing Happiness with Cortney McDermottWelcome to the Love Your Story Podcast. I’m your host Lori Lee and you’re here today for a Quick Chat. That’s one great inspirational idea in 15 minutes or less.

Today’s show is about reframing happiness. Stay tuned for a quickie discussion with Corney McDermott, Author of Give Yourself Permisson, as we explore the idea of shifting the way you think about happiness so we can more easily find it.

Join us in the audio program as we discuss:

In the Wizard of Oz Dorthy goes on an adventure to find her way home. She heads out on this path - the Yellow Brick Road searching, along her path she has the support of the Good Witch Glenda looking out for her, she has companions who are learning along the journey also, and in the end she finds that no one else - no wizard existed who could do it for her…. I think in a way we all take this journey. We are told - no sold - all day long that we need this product, that promotion, this coach, this corner office and then we will be happy, but Cortney points out in her book - “if the something or someone isn’t pointing back to yourself, then it simply won’t work.”

We talk about:

Where do we find happy? What is this reframing happiness you speak of?
In your book you say, “Aligning your ego to the divine truths in you is like a constant spontaneous enlightenment that doe snot rely on anything or anyone outside of you for its fulfillment.” Can you explain this?
Happiness is an inside work.
We are sold what happiness should be - what if our happiness doesn't align with what we are "supposed" to want?
Most of the time we don't question this - but what happens when you equate happiness with "all the things and all the gold stars" and you still aren't happy.
What if happy to me doesn't look like happy to everyone else?
Externalities don't solve the problems
The work is in your head.
Accept what makes YOU happy. Even if it's different.
You are okay with doing it YOUR way.
Move away from what is distracting you from your own happiness.
Dedicate more time to what your happiness looks like. Start small but build up your devotion to you.
Focus on the self enough so you can experience the most from your relationships.
Don't force things. Ease in and allow things to flow.
Cortney shares a story of her own emotional youth. She shares how important it was to learn to accept her own depth of feeling.
What does YOUR happiness feel like?

Thanks for being with us today. And thanks to Cortney McDermott, author of Give Yourself Permission for co-hosting the past 3 Quick Chats with me and sharing her powerful insights.

If you liked this episode - please consider sharing it with a friend. It’s all about doing good in the world and this is an easy way to share inspiration in your sphere. We’ll see you in two weeks for our next episode.

Contact Cortney or buy her book:

www.cortney mcdermott.com

email: cort@cortinc.com

Book: Give Yourself Permission

Amazon Link to purchase:

https://www.amazon.com/Give-Yourself-Permission-Development-Improvement/dp/B0C9SNG7NZ/ref=sr_1_1?crid=O1BQ0ZKORWVG&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.8amufz-UuP5MoibMVqy9ytZAjysDYtrkrHH-n0pAurOWTAGFh4YdjC_sUVHwmq7ksKOgWsl2vK4J_Xyj5hT1-A.ASsOCz1Ig8IdvvM1x8vBiqKQUJPx8ieg2Nlsolw-ZYA&dib_tag=se&keywords=give+yourself+permission&qid=1704998197&sprefix=give+yourself+permission%2Caps%2C226&sr=8-1

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Episode 270: How to Stop Self Sabotage - Interview Thais GibsonWelcome to the Love Your Story podcast. Have you ever self sabotaged? Are you aware of your own limiting beliefs?

Today, Thais Gibson, the founder of the Personal Development School and I are going to talk in detail - get schooled on these topics. This is really cool to get to talk with Thais about this because this Ph.D. candidate has a decade of experience helping over 30K clients, and her private practice has a 2 year waiting list, so getting to have this one-on-one class discussion with her is lit.

Tune into the audio program to start dissecting self sabotage and limiting beliefs with the head teacher from the Personal Development School.

Thais Gibson - is certified in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, in Neuro-linguistic programming, in Somatic experiencing (which is a form of therapy aimed at treating trauma and stress related disorders) She has certificates in a bunch of other therapy and self development disciplines as well…13 in total I believe… and she has 38 million views on social media. I started following her on Instagram and it’s fun to watch her great educational clips as she discusses mental health ideas. Thais….Let’s bring that to my audience.

Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast Thais….

Join us on the audio to hear our conversation about:

How did you get into this work? - What’s your story?
Can we talk about self sabotage? What does that look like? What do you know about it?
What do we need to know to keep ourselves from doing it?
Do you have success stories that show us how to overcome this?
I’ve been trying to recognize my own limiting beliefs. How do we discover what our limiting beliefs are?
What do we do with them once we recognize them? Those are hard things to change, usually really ironed in strong with our subconscious.
Let’s talk about the subconscious…how do we reprogram deeply help beliefs that are holding us back? Do you have success stories about this?
Tell us about the school and what you do there?

Thanks for being her with us today. I hope you’ve found just one ah-ha or idea that helps you on your journey, or inspires you to reach out to Thais, or follow her on Instagram so you can keep learning to navigate your mental health.

How to contact Thais Gibson:

She's big on Instagram: @thepersonaldevelopmentschool

You Tube: @thepersonaldevelopmentschool

Facebook: @thepersonaldevelopmentschool

Have fun building your best life story on purpose!

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Episode 269: Quick Chat - Consciously Creating a Meaningful Life with Cortney McDermottWelcome to the Love Your Story Podcast. I’m your host Lori Lee and you’re here today for a Quick Chat. That’s one great inspirational idea in 15 minutes or less.

Today’s show is about this thing Corney calls Dimensions of Design. In a nutshell. Today’s quick chat is on manifesting. Stay tuned for our quickie discussion with Corney McDermott, Author of Give Yourself Permisson, as we explore the ideas behind manifesting.

Do you know how to manifest? Are you really good at it? I’m trying to understand it better, so if you’re with me, tune in.

Cortney and I look at:

What Cortney has noticed about people not knowing what they want.
This is to help people ask the right questions about what they want.
Model includes distraction, delusion, demand, and design.
Focus on the things you know are important to you, but that you don't have to do right now. When you focus on those things it clears out all the things that don't matter.
Ask yourself this question: What are you putting off that you know you need to do?
Focus on the really important things, let the less important things go and lots of time gets freed up.
Designing your life by prioritizing this dimension makes time expand.
We mold our lives from the inside with the decisions we make about our time.
We talk about manifesting and how our attention is key to what we manifest.
Allowing our attention to be fragmented slows down what we manifest.
How much attention are you giving to guiding your thoughts and surroundings toward that vision?

Want to get in touch with Cortney?

Contact Cortney or buy her book:

www.cortney mcdermott.com

email: cort@cortinc.com

Book: Give Yourself Permission

Amazon Link to purchase:

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Episode 268: What is Success? Interview John PlyWelcome to the Love Your Story podcast. John Ply is a successful business man who started his own company - twice - and made millions. His father - Ziggy - was a Polish immigrant who was captured by the Germans in WWII and survived the horrors of a POW camp and then moved to America with nothing but the clothes on his back.

Both men personify different types of success, and on today’s show John Ply joins me to share stories and lessons learned from both lives.

Stay tuned as we talk about stories of his father turning in a lost $20 bill when it would have paid his mortgage for a month, or when he refused to shoot a woman the Germans in the POW camp demanded he kill or be killed.

John Ply has taken the stories of his father and the things he learned from him and written a book about both of their lives. The book is called YOU CAN BE THE BEST.

Today John is here with me and we are going to share stories and some beautiful ideas for successful living.

Tune into the audio to hear our conversation with topics like:

A. Tell us all about you - your story - Let me give you a jumping off point: In one of the first chapters of the book you have a section entitled “You never know where becoming the best is going to take you.”

I love this idea of doing the best you can do at anything you try and stirring that in with the magic of the unknown - how that translates into opportunity. So lets start in the summer after 8th grade….

B. Let’s talk about “Being the Best You.”

I loved how you said, “Be the best “you” and everything else tends to take care of itself.”

C. There are so many culturally dictated ideas of success. Let’s talk about a couple different things here:

Our own individual definitions of success
What your definition of success is.
What did you learn about success from Ziggy?

D. Ziggy - Your favorite stories about him and what he taught you.

E. You have a concept called “The Clubs of Success” Will you run through those for us?

To find John or get his book:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-ply-author-332449270/
Amazon: https://geni.us/youcanbethebest

In his book John says, “ America has been called the land of opportunity, but the thing about opportunity is that it comes down to choices. My father eded up having an incredible life in America because he built that life.”

There are so many powerful concepts in the book, and I’ll just end with this one: Ziggy came with nothing but a lot of trauma, a great work ethic, and a sense of morals and ethics. Despite having come from undoubtedly experiencing horrors in that war and POW camp he made choice after choice to keep a good attitude, to work hard, to take care of others, to find a profession and do his best at it. While life is never simple, I think the old tried and true concepts of attitude, working hard, and living with a moral and ethical compass can be the simple truths that create a beautiful, and successful life.

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267: Quick Chat - How to Transform Your Perception of Wealth with Cortney McDermottWelcome to the Love Your Story Podcast - Quick Chat: That’s one great inspirational idea in 15 minutes or less. I’m your host Lori Lee. Today’s show is about how to transform your perception of money and wealth and our quickie discussion is with Corney McDermott, author of Give Yourself Permission.

We explore the idea of shifting the way you think about something as crucial as money, for a different more abundant mindset.

Join the audio program to hear me and my co-host Cortney McDermott:

Mindset is everything and a right mindset about wealth - creating it with intentions - is a key to survival and living big. This is part of creating the life we want on purpose.

We’re talking about money and wealth today for 3 reasons - 1 - it was one of the top content topics on the show for 2023 so I know the audience has an interest. Who doesn’t want to learn how to live more abundantly? 2 - I think the right mindset to something as important as wealth is key to achieving it… what story are we telling ourselves about money and 3 - the ideas we’ll discuss around this concept are really beneficial to simply living well - which you’ll see as Corney gives us a quick run down.

Cortney, In your book there is a chapter called “Make a lot of Money.” In that chapter you have 5 principles you say are related to wealth accumulation. Let’s talk about those.

Tune in to hear the principles...

We talk about

*Where love is Money is.

*Gratitude is the foundation of wealth

*Wealth is inside work

and much more...

If you liked this episode - please consider sharing it with a friend. It’s all about doing good in the world and this is an easy way to share inspiration in your sphere.

We’ll see you in two weeks for our next episode.

Contact Cortney or buy her book:

www.cortney mcdermott.com

email: cort@cortinc.com

Book: Give Yourself Permission

Amazon Link to purchase:

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Episode 266: The Beautiful Life Designer Interview Edwina Murphy DoomerWelcome to the Love Your Story podcast! I’m your host Lori Lee.

I’m reading a book called Change It Up. The entire premise of the book is a comparison of how scared we get of change, but also how much we need novelty and how refreshed we are by changes we choose - new hair cut, wearing a new color, going to a place you’ve never been, and even sometimes the shifts that happen after a divorce or or a loss. In the moment it’s a struggle, but many times it’s those moments of change, even loss that propel us into some of our best and healthiest paths.

Stay tuned for my talk with Edwina Murphy Droomer, the great women empowerment coach, we’ll hear her story of how divorce was the cross-roads to greater things and then we’ll talk about creating a higher purpose master plan.

Are you ready to create a life you love living?

Like many women, Edwina's metamorphosis sprung from her darkest hour as a suddenly single, broke mother with four children. With no choice but to sit firmly in the driver's seat of her life, Edwina set about taking back control of creating the life she dreamed of living. Now, as a Professional Interviewer and Women's Coach, Edwina is a powerhouse in the fields of vision building and transformation. She has supported thousands of women to create an exciting vision for the health, wealth, time and love they crave and then provides the support and accountability to bring that vision to life.

Join the audio program to hear:

Edwina's story of growing up - as an adult, and learning to source better energy and beautiful results.

She said, "Like many women, I unlocked my strength and moxie during the darkest hours (weeks, months, year) following the breakdown of my first marriage and becoming a suddenly single, broke mum with four small children.

For the first three and a half decades of my life, I was on a mission to prove myself worthy. Worthy of what I was never quite sure of, however, at its core was wanting to feel worthy of love and belonging.

All the while raising four kids as a single mum and running a flower farm. But still, I suffered from not enough syndrome.

Then one day, while sitting on my veranda taking photos of my children, I had a ‘what the heck moment’. Looking at my vibrant, happy, beautiful kids running around amongst the roses on our flower farm, it dawned on me…

I did this. ME! I made this beautiful life for us.

The proof was in front of my eyes. It is not about comparison or perfection; it is simply about doing the best I can with what I know, being grateful for the life I have now, and striving to grow into all I can be.

That shift in mindset was the start of a whole new life."

Join us as we talk about braking through the worthiness barrier, seeing how powerful you are, and how shifting your perception of self changes what you can do. What do you want women to understand about themselves?

I love the part where we talk about taking responsibility and how an empowered human takes 100% responsibility.

This beautiful life designer shows us how she did it and shares some of the most important insights she shares with her clients.

Conclusion: On Edwina’s website there is a quote that is so compassionate. It says, “Be patient with yourself, nothing blooms all year long.” As we design the lives we want and act with intention, it helps to accept that it is a process. Don’t be afraid of what life holds. Be compassionate with yourself. Know that life holds beautiful gifts to support your growth. It’s an adventure.

Thanks for being here with us today. Please share this episode with one friend and have a beautiful couple weeks creating the life you want to live.

accountability #improveyourenergy #youareworthy #designyourlife #change

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Episode 265: Quick Chat - Small Steps Big Wins with Sue SallerWelcome to the Love Your Story Podcast. I’m your host Lori Lee and you’re here today for a Quick Chat. That’s one great inspirational idea in 15 minutes or less.

Today’s show is called Small Steps Big Wins. Stay tuned for a quickie discussion with Sue Saller, host of the Small Steps Big Wins podcast as we explore the idea of giving yourself a break because, as Van Gogh said, “Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.”

Tune into the audio program to hear Lori and Sue talk about ideas like:

Lives are transformed one decision and one conversation at a time.
You can't always see the difference you're making.
Keep getting up and doing the little things. They make a difference.
Sometimes you can only see one step ahead.

Thanks to Sue Saller, host of the Small Steps Big Wins podcast. You can tune into her show wherever you listen to podcasts.

Hope this quick thought helps you lighten up on yourself as you go about the daily good you do! You’re doing bigger things than you know.

Hit up the Love Your Story podcast website - www.loveyourstorypodcast.com and leave me a voicemail. There is a graphic of a little microphone at the bottom of the home page and you can click that and leave a message. Pretty cool I want to know what you think of these episodes. Have a great week living your life with intention, and recognizing that small steps lead to big wins.

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Episode 264: How to Tell Your Story - Interview Amanda EdgarWelcome to the LYS Podcast! Every person I interview on this show has a story. They share those stories with us - the wins, the losses, the heartbreak and the learning. Man! There are some great stories on this podcast.

As I’ve spoken with people - in general - about their stories, often people say, “I don’t have a story. I just have a regular old life. Nothing to hear here.”

My guest today is Amanda Edgar. After a life in academia she decided to leave the university and founded Page and Podium Press, a publishing company that helps people share their stories and create world-changing books. Tune in as I talk with Amanda about finding and sharing your stories.

Bio:

Amanda Edgar is an award winning author, ghostwriter, book coach and founder of Page and Podium Press. She is the co-author of the forthcoming Summer of 2020: George Floyd and the Resurgence of the Black Lives Matter Movement. She has been invited to speak at organizations such as FedEx and the US Department of State where she shares philosophy on issues of identity, and socially conscious storytelling.

Tune into the audio program to hear us talk about questions like:

Tell me your story - the juicy bits - and how did you come to be a story expert
What if someone wants to write their memoir - why should they? how do they start?
How do we use our personal stories to empower others?
I’m told that you like to talk about the science of story telling and how we can make our stories land every time. Tell me about that.
Let’s talk about vulnerability - some of the most powerful stories are those that we are the most afraid to share…how vulnerable is too vulnerable? Where is that line?
When you help someone write a book about themselves how do you generally organize it - is it stories by theme, or chronologically, what does that look like?
I know you primarily work with leaders who want to share and publish their stories to support their teams and career, but what advice do you have for regular folks who are considering writing their personal stories?
How can someone find you if they want to work with you?

How to contact Amanda:

www.pageandpodium.com/checklist

www.pageandpodium.com

WRAP UP:

I’ve been working on my father’s life history. He’s still alive so I can ask him lots of questions, which is huge, but it’s no small task trying to put a life down on the page. I’ve also seen life history companies that send out a question to their clients and their clients write about it and then they compile the stories into a history, one story at a time. I’ve found as I’ve studied story that we use stories - the function of stories is varied - we use them to show that we are part of a group - like someone telling a story about how they rode a certain mountain bike trail to illustrate their prowess in biking. We use stories to warn - telling a story of narrowly escaping a tight situation in a dark park is a warning for others not to walk in dark parks alone. We share stories to teach, for example sharing a personal story about how you learned a lesson - what did you learn from your divorce, let’s say. I could go on. But as you consider your stories - sharing them and organizing them, recording them or publishing them, let me assure you that YOU do have a story. Your story is not any more regular than anyone else - we all have a heroes journey.

We’ll see you in two weeks for our Quick Chat episode. Please share this episode with someone who is thinking about writing or sharing their story and hope on LoveYourStoryPodcast.com to leave me a voicemail about topics you’d like to hear about.

See you in two weeks.

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Episode 263: Quick Chat - Making Something Beautiful from the Broken and Discarded Stuff of LifeWelcome to the Love Your Story Podcast. Today we are starting off the new Quick Chat series - this is the first one. Let me know what you think of it. It's one inspirational idea in 15 minutes or less.

I’ve always loved thrift shopping. I think it started because I’ve carefully budgeting has been important to me and I love a bargain. I have no serious problem with sharing clothes that have been warn by someone else - just wash them first. I’ve found wonderful treasures, unexpected booty, every summer at yard sales. Every year I find the woman who is retiring all her craft supplies and I buy everything from ribbon, to tiny brads, to unopened packages of name-brand card stock, to perfectly cellophane wrapped embellishments that would be a perfect addition to my card making supplies - my art is making hand-made cards. I take the discarded supplies and make beautiful hand-made cards that I send all over the country, sell, or trade. I dare say that half the holiday accouterment for my home has also been purchased from women who set up tables in their yards to find new homes for the things they were tired of and make a buck doing it. This type of sharing, of recycling, feels fun and woven with hope that you’ll find the perfect treasures for pennies on the dollar. In this way we use and reuse - enjoy an item while it is with us and then set it free to continue it’s life in a fresh new space with someone else who will love the novelty of seeing it anew.

The discarded finding new life through new eyes.

My first dog was an black, curly, eight pound miniature poodle. My ex-husband’s sister had somehow ended up with brother and a sister puppies, and the little miss had been pushed around by her brother, who was slightly larger, as well as the four little boys in that family that thrived on teasing and rough housing. Molly-dog wasn’t doing well. On a weekend when MY boys were with their dad I got the phone call.

“Can we bring home a dog? It’s really nice and little and I promise we’ll take care of it. Just for a few days?”

I told them absolutely not. I wasn’t going to deal with puppy puddles and shedding in my house. Never. They continued their plight: “She doesn’t shed, she’s been potty trained, she comes with her own kennel, dog dish, and she’s had all her shots.”

“Please mom! Just for a couple days while Tina and Doug are in town?”

I allowed with the agreement that she’d stay in the garage at nights and that she could only stay for two days. That darling, bullied little dog never left, and never spent one night in the garage. From the day she entered the front door, until she died years later, she rarely, if ever left my side. She was always afraid of other dogs, and people. But, I was her person. And what an honor that was.

The something beautiful that came from this bullied puppy, failing to thrive in her current home, was a love of my life. We made a beautiful life together, and as is often the case with dogs, we think we are giving them a home, but they become the home for our hearts. Something very beautiful came from the broken.

My own life isn’t so different from these spaces of working with the broken and discarded to create something better, even infinitely more precious. After three marriages and three divorces, broken is a word I understand. Broken heart. Broken home. Broken dreams. These are words we hear all the time but each one of them is loaded with heavy burdens and crippling, dark days. I think it’s fair to say we all know the word ‘broken,’ for life is always full of unexpected challenges, and everyone will have dark-nights of the soul. But here’s what I found…. years later and with focus and effort I built something better on the ashes of those relationships. I built a woman who knows she can get through hard things. I built a heart that I know survives. I built a home of safety and love for my children and myself. I built a life with stories shifted to consider the things I’d learned rather than one that was stuck in “he did me wrong” victimhood. On the ashes of a life torn down over and over I kept rebuilding.

That’s not to say that I haven’t had to take down and rebuild to get it right, or that making it beautiful isn’t an on-going process, it is. But that’s the way of it.

When I walked with my best friend Molly-dog and she sprang through the green grasses of the park while I looked up at the beautiful mountains that surround my home and watched the seasons change, day after day, month after month, we built something beautiful.

When I comb through a thrift shop or a yard sale finding those things I can use to make my home beautiful or that I can transform into handmade cards that share love, I take the thing someone else discards and create something beautiful -with a little effort, a little vision, and some heart.

Making something beautiful from the broken discarded stuff of life is what we do. It’s a bit of alchemy. It’s the power of love, vision, and hope.

Thanks for listening today to my Quick Chat thoughts. What beauty are you creating from the broken and discarded stuff of life? Think about it.

We’ll see you in two weeks for the next episode of the Love Your Story podcast. Join me for another great interview - another great story.

Find all the episodes on www.loveyourstorypodcast.com

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Episode 262: Lost on the Slopes - Lessons Beyond the Mountain: Interview Nick ShawWelcome to the Love Your Story podcast. Today’s show takes us into the story of the death of a 9-year-old boy after a ski accident at Big Sky in Montana. The tragedy, as you would expect, brought his parent’s to their knees, on a path none of us want to walk. But Nick Shaw - today’s guest - sought meaning as the life-line to hold to as he moved forward, and part of his healing process involved putting it down in writing, sharing the lessons he learned from his son. Stay tuned as he shares his story and as we discuss his book: My Teacher, My Son: Lessons on Life, Loss and Love.

Nick Shaw, William’s father, an accomplished executive coach, and the author of My Teacher, My Son, joins us today to share his story and the things he’s learned along the way.

Nick, welcome to the show.

I wanted to read a quick review of your book:

Kelly McGonigal, PhD, Research Psychologist at Stanford University writes:

“It seems impossible that a book about unimaginable grief could offer so much hope, yet that is the gift of My Teach, My Son. With breath taking honesty, Nick Shaw shows how love, joy and continued connection co-exist with loss, change and challenge. The courage of Nick’s self-reflection empowers each of us to find a way forward. A truly heart empowering read.”

Very high praise.

Tune into the audio program to hear answers to the following discussion questions:

I know your story - I finished your book last week - but of course none of the listeners know who you are yet, so can we please start with your story? Tell us about your family and about that day.
In dealing with this devastating loss, you chose to look for lessons. What have been the greatest lessons you have learned?
In your book you say:

“I took a six-month leave of absence from work to be

with Susie and Kai and to try to make sense of everything. This pause gave

me the time and space to reflect and ask, “Is this the way I want to go on

living my life?” While the answer is important, I found that taking the time

to ask the question is more important.” TELL ME ABOUT THIS. I LOVE THE QUESTION.

As your healing progresses and a year later you and Susan have your third son, you say, In another section of the book,

“ I had to be able to hold both my despair and my happiness at the same time. I had to accept that I could be happy and sad at the same time. I could revel in the delight of holding mynewborn son and at the same time be devastated by the loss of my oldest son. I could delight in sharing new and exciting experiences with Kai and at the same time be shattered by the fact that I will never be able to share those same experiences with William. I had to stop letting one feeling diminish the other; I made room for both feelings to coexist.

I feel like this is a healthy mindset that allows room for the complexity of the emotional journey. Talk to us about this idea...

When we are going through something traumatic, how do we not let the emotion and trauma just take over? How do we maintain our ability to choose mindset?

To connect with Nick or get a copy of his book:

www.meetnickshaw.com

LinkedIn: Nick Shaw

https://www.amazon.com/My-Teacher-Son-Lessons-Life/dp/B0CH7F5MGW/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1DV39OWBU5NVO&keywords=My+teacher+my+son&qid=1701198329&sprefix=my+teacher+my+s%2Caps%2C332&sr=8-1

Thank you so much for sharing your story and your experience with us.

One of the most human things we do is share our stories that we can learn from one another’s experiences. Today, Nick has shared the story of his journey of navigating tragedy and grief, that when we face our own dark nights of the soul we will know how others have walked theirs.

Please share this episode with anyone that you know who would benefit from hearing this story around the technological campfire.

We’ll see you in two weeks, for the Love Your Story Quick Chat - one inspirational idea in 15 minutes or under.

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Episode 261: The Best of 2023Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast!

As 2023 comes to a close it’s time for the annual “Best Of” episode - This is where we look back at which episodes of the Love Your Story podcast were the favorites of the listeners. Which ones did you guys like best?

Tune in for the Top 5 Episodes, a clip from each, and if you’ve missed one of these favs - go back and listen to get all the goods. Coming right up…. the years top 5 favorites…

Welcome to the top 5 Love Your Story Podcast episodes of 2023. Let’s start with #5.

5 falls to one of our latest episodes. It’s called “Voices of Healing” it’s episode #252. It’s a compilation episode where I pulled in clips from lots of past interviews so we heard from Todd Sylvester, Amanda Grow, Dianne Butterfield, Trevor Lay….and others about their healing journeys. I think this episode was so powerful because we learn from one another, and when we pull in real life healing stories from so many different people, with different experiences, as well as professionals, well…there’s a lot to learn and something for everyone. We all have things to heal from, so we all want to understand this path better. Here’s a clip….

Tune in to hear the clip...

If you want to hear all the stories from this favorite, go back to episode 252, this one launched on Aug. 23 of this year, and take a listen to the whole show.

Ok. Here we are at #4 - the number 4 favorite episode of 2023 was episode 239: my interview with Chris Hawker. This episode was titled: Tools to Magnify our Worthiness. I loved my chat with Chris because he is a man that has been in the leadership of Next Level Trainings - which was where I did a great deal of my work in moving my life forward - learning to reframe my stories. Chris came on the podcast and was honest and vulnerable about his own struggle with feelings of unworthiness. We talked about how these stories of unworthiness happen, how he navigated his, and then we get to hear some of his wonderful suggestion for reframing those erroneous and destructive feelings. I think this one is a favorite because working through any feelings of unworthiness is an important part of really becoming YOU. Here’s a clip:

Tune in to hear the clip...

to hear the rest of his story about his road to truly embracing his real self worth… - again, it’s episode 239 and it aired on February 22 of this year.

Now on to #3 top fav for 2023. It’s none other than What Kindness Can Do with Peter Mutabazi in episode 242.

Peter Mutabazi grew up in Uganda. In this episode we hear his whole story - the brave escape from an abusive father at 10 years old, his subsequent life as a child living on the streets struggling daily to stay alive, and the fortuitous meeting of a man who would change Peter’s life, and in so doing change the lives his siblings, their children, and all the children Peter now helps as a foster parent. This was part 1 of a two part series that was just incredible. One of my favorite interviews because he story is shocking, incredible, and how often do you get to speak with someone who was there to see the Tutsi and Hutu massacre in Rwanda - he talks about that in the second episode in this series, What Hate Can Do. The whole thing was incredible. Here is the beginning of his story.

Tune in to hear the clip...

Again, to listen to the whole episode and the next episode -it’s a 2 part series, for his whole incredible story. He’s amazing.

Now for the #2 favorite of the year….. Episode 244 - Tips on Connecting with Your Man. My interview with Laura Doyle. I found it super interesting that the listeners were wanting tips on connecting in relationships. I guess I should have guessed it - that IS an important part of our lives - so fun that this was a favorite.

Laura Doyle is a New York Times Bestselling Author and the star of Empowered Wives on Amazon Prime, and hosts The Empowered Wives Podcast. On her home page it says, “I show women the proven way to fix their relationships without their man’s conscious effort–even if it seems completely hopeless.” Well - in our interview I was actually really surprised at the tips she shared. Definitely not things I would have guessed. Here’s a clip.

Tune in to hear the clip...

to hear how this tip worked, and to hear her other tips, go to episode 244 and get the whole enchilada.

Now #1!!!! Drum Roll!

The very favorite episode for the year is one of our latest ones - episode 255: Developing Healthy Thinking Patterns. This is part of the Emotional Resilience series I did here in October and November. I’m excited that people are thinking and talking about this topic, because healthy thinking patterns make ALL the difference in our experience with life. It’s the crux of Love Your Story - The stories you create in your mind are your Reality. Learning to nurture healthy thinking patterns will help you bounce back when things get tough. We want the emotional resilience and we want that power in creating our lives every day.

Tune in to hear the clip...

If you want to listen to that entire episode, again, it’s episode 255. It’s a powerful discussion on specific healthy thinking patterns.

A big thank you to all the listeners of the Love Your Story podcast. We have embarked on our 8th year this year and I’m grateful for every one of you. I’d love to hear from you, so feel free to reach out. You can leave voice messages or send notes on the website - www.loveyourstorypodcast.com.

I hope you had a wonderful 2023 and that in 2024 you will find yourself enjoying the interviews and stories we’ll share in the new year. A quick announcement: for 2024 I am introducing a new format - I’ve been loving podcasts that I can tune into for a quick bit of learning. So I’m going to provide the same for you guys. This next year I’m going to switch up between our regular interviews and stories and what I’m calling Love Your Story Quick Chat - one inspirational idea in 15 minutes or less. We do two episodes a month. The first will be our regular format - 30-40 minute interview sharing life stories about triumph and tragedy - usually both in the same stories - and of course what was learned and how they navigated those spaces, and then the second episode for the month will be a Quick Chat where, in under 15 minutes, we’re going to discuss one idea, a healthy thinking pattern, a hopeful concept. Sometimes I’ll have a co-host, sometimes I’ll just dial into why this idea feels important, but it will be a quick bit of inspiration for your day. I hope you’ll love it.

See you in two weeks in 2024.

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Episode 260: The Key to Upleveling - Relax Interview Cortney McDermottWelcome to the Love Your Story podcast. It’s December and we are winding down 2023 with two of the best episodes of the year. In a couple week’s we’ll have the Best of 2023 episode, which looks at download numbers for all the episodes throughout the year to find out what the favorites have been - I always love that episode. It gives me lots of great info. but it also gives the listeners a quick peak at 5 excellent episodes with a small quip from each, so if you missed any of them you can go back and listen……..AND our final interview of the year is today with Cortney McDermott.

I’ll tell you why I think this is going to be one of the best episodes of the year. On Love Your Story we are all about living into our best lives. We are all about intention and responsibility. We are all about gaining a greater understanding of universal laws and how they work so we can work with more faith, allowance, and intention to create what we want, well…I’ve been in this place lately where I’ve been trying to figure out how quantum physics works with the power of our own minds, how to manifest in bigger ways, how to get rid of mental corrals and think beyond what I’m used to….and then guess what shows up? This woman - Corney McDermott and her book “Give Yourself Permission.”

I admit, as I read the book I really dreaded trying to write up my notes for the interview because there are tooooooo many things I want to talk about. Soooo much I’d love to get Cortney’s perspetive on…so it’s going to be a value packed show.

Cortney McDermott is an award-winning author, she is a TedX speaker, and a mind-body expert who helps the world’s leading organizations and creatives to disrupt old patterns of behavior, grow healthy businesses and apply the physiology and psychology needed for success. She has been featured in Inc. Women’s Health, Success, The Huffington Post, FOX news and lot of other mainstream business and life style media. She was an executive at Vanity Fair Corporation….and I could go on, but I just want to talk with her, So….

Cortney…. Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast.

First, who are you? What’s your story….let me get more specific…..in your introduction you say that years ago you started having experiences you couldn’t explain, like losing a lot of weight overnight..and another time you were transported out of the constraints of time and space.

Whaaattt? 1. Who are you and why did these things happen, and what were they like?

Listen to the audio program to hear Cortney's story and some in depth conversation on how we can connect with a greater flow of life by relaxing, listening, following inspiration, and doing with joy.

We talk about intrinsic motivation vs. hard pushing and I talk with her about my lack of understanding about how we can make things happen by relaxing. What does it look like when you are a type A personality and the best flow of life lies in relaxing, surrendering?

How to reach Cortney:

CortneyMcDermott.com

Book: Give Yourself Permission

Tune in next week for our season closing episode - The Best of 2023 - and see what all the listener favorites were. See you in two weeks.

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Episode 259: Quit Proof - Interview with Jenn DrummondWelcome to the Love Your Story podcast. We are closing in on winter, and I always like to pull in a guest with some wintery story - a professional skier or a mountaineer - during these chilly months. We’ll today’s guest fills that bill nicely.

Get ready to be inspired by my guest Jenn Drummond. She is a mountaineer who has conquered the world’s seven second summits and recently became a world record holder. But her journey goes far beyond mountaineering. As you’ll see, her story, of being in a horrific car accident that brought her inches from death, is a testament to resilience, motivation and the exhilaration of achievement. Her book, QuitProof: the 7 Necessities for Becoming Resilient, will be released in January.

Jenn, Welcome to the LYS podcast.

Let’s start with your story.

Join the audio conversation to hear about her summiting the 7 second tallest summits in the world. How to be resilient and how to intentionally build our life. Come listen as she shares her story of a car accident that shifted her world.

How to get a hold of Jenn:

Website: https://jenndrummond.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenn-drummond/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/drummond_jenn

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thejenndrummond/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@jenndrummond

Resilience has been a strong theme this year. It’s been on my mind because I’ve been watching people struggle, a lot of the upcoming generation struggle with mental health, in particular, and the ability to be resilient, or to at least work on strengthening our resilience bit by bit, has become crucial to survival, to healthy living, to thriving, to making it through….Jenn’s book is timely.

Whether you are in a place that is requiring your resilience strength at the moment, or you are in a spot where things aren’t so heavy, taking little steps to strengthen your resilience skills is important. Healthy living patterns, strengthening our emotional and mental bounce-back, these are done with intention and repetition. Work those muscles.

We just finished with a set of 5 emotional resilience episodes to support your growth and strength-finding journey, use those as well. Little by little we work those muscles, we come to know that we can over come. We are strong. We can stand on the summits of our challenges.

Have a great week. Live with intention. I’ll see you in two weeks for our next fabulous episode.

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Episode 258: Understanding Your Emotions for Emotional Resilience: Mastering Anger - Part 5Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast.

This is the last of the 5-Part Series on Creating Emotional Resilience.

This series was created from a class I took, you’ve heard about it in all the other episodes - in it we practiced different skills like healthy thinking patterns, managing stress, overcoming anger….all the good stuff. Take from it what resonates with you, that you may navigate your life with a bit more resilience. One step at a time. These are muscles we are trying to develop. Emotional resilience muscles.

Today’s episode is about one of our strongest emotions. Anger.

It’s a real emotion that we don’t want to deny, but that we need to learn to navigate and choose thoughts and actions that create more peace in us rather than feed the anger beast. Stay tuned.

As I am writing this episode we just completed the April 2023 General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. As I sat and listened to the prophets and leaders I was surprised at how many talks were about not being contentious. Even the prophet himself focused his primary message on the topic of being peacemakers.

In 3 Nephi 11:29-30 the Savior taught the Nephites: “There shall be no disputations among you…for verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another behold this is NOT my doctrine, to stir up the hearts of men with anger, one against another; but this is my doctrine, that such things should be done away.”

Anger is something we all feel. It’s an emotion that rears it’s head when underneath we really feel resentful, disappointed, ashamed, hopeless, guilty, our expectations are unmet, we are embarrassed, frustrated, anxious, threatened, rejected, hurt, offended, heartbroken…there are a lot of underlying emotions and situations that trigger anger.

Emotional resilience means that we are able to more effectively understand our emotions and manage them. This is a life-time of work, but a very important part of our work. This is part of living with awareness and moving toward higher ways of being.

Let’s consider a couple ideas.

Anger comes from lots of various emotions, as I’ve just mentioned. Understanding that can help us get to the bottom of an angry situation so we can deescalate it and understand ourselves better. What I mean by this is that when you feel yourself getting angry, stop and consider what’s causing the anger. Are your feelings hurt? Are you disappointed? Are you embarrassed? Once we understand what has us so upset we can navigate the situation better - sometimes even just understanding that can help you better communicate with the person you are angry with. For instance, let’s say you’ve asked your husband to do something numerous times and he doesn’t get around to doing it. You can spiral in the “Why doesn’t he listen to me? Why can’t he help? Why can’t he see the wisdom in doing it this way?” etc. etc. or you can identify that perhaps you’re feeling disrespected, resentful, unappreciated, hurt. With this knowledge you can then open a conversation, “When I ask you to help rake the leaves up over and over and it doesn’t get done, I feel unheard, disrespected, hurt.” This approach shares a vulnerable insight into your feelings that focuses on you and doesn’t focus on making accusations toward him At the very least this opens space for communication. People talking things out and striving to understand another’s position on something is a tool to choosing peace and peacemaking over anger and contention.
Understanding that anger escalates and how to manage anger, or cool down can be a life-saving tool. Things that make anger escalate: making accusation often gets people’s blood a pumping; continuing to argue once you’re angry; yelling or screaming keeps things escalating; dwelling on the hurt and planning revenge will escalate a situation; and of course, any kind of violence will escalate a situation.

On the flip side of the coin, what are ways to de-escalate an angry situation - One of the most powerful is to give the other the benefit of the doubt. One of my friends created a story in her mind that I was stabbing her in the back. She created an entire false story and then destroyed the relationship because she didn’t bring her fears to me or give me the benefit of the doubt. I can’t help but be so sad that she didn’t give me that benefit of the doubt because it would have changed everything. She had completely misinterpreted all kinds of things.

Sometimes postponing a response until you have time to think through your thoughts and say the right thing/ say what you really mean. Sometimes just getting out and burning it out of your system with some exercise. I used to hop on my bike and ride3 15 miles when my kids were young and I needed a break.

Meditation, prayer, relaxation, calming music, humor - you can’t really laugh and be angry at the same time, so this can definitely cool your blood.

Find a way that works for you to navigate your emotions, and help your family members find a way that works for them. What a great healthy, resilient strength to know how to navigate tough emotions.

Anger is a choice. Let’s play with some examples. Lynn G. Robbins, in the May 1998 Ensign said, “Understanding the connection between agency and anger is the first step to eliminating it from our lives.” We will feel anger, that’s not bad, it’s just part of being here, but we can chose our response to that anger. We can feed it or we can chose something else - a management technique, a cooling down period, a different approach - like we just discussed.

Let’s do a few story problems?

You are driving home from work and you’re tired and traffic is heavy. You’re late for an appointment and another driver almost causes an accident and then flips you off. Automatically you think “What? How dare he think that was my fault? What a total jerk.” Your underlying emotions at that point are fatigue, unjust accusation, stress. What are your options for managing this anger? You don’t want to keep the anger and take it home with you. You don’t want to give it any more space and time in your heart. Take a deep breath, maybe turn on calming music. Remind yourself - I can either make this better or I can make this worse. If I escalate things there could be an accident, I will end up taking home all the anger, things could turn violent. Will I stoke the fire or let it go? I’ve shared this story before, but it applies here: I walked up to the door of my Transendental Meditation seminar and the door was locked so another student and I were standing outside and started to talk. I’d had a rough week because one of my real estate client was having a tough life space and had been taking out her feelings on me with false accusation and bullying. I wanted to stay professional but I also needed to maintain boundaries in the way I let people treat me and it was causing me a bunch of stress. So I started sharing my frustrations with this other student. He was further along in the study of meditation than I was and he’d been around the world studying different styles. When I had completed my tale of whoa, he tossed his pen across the space between us and I instinctively reached out to grab it. He said, “You didn’t have to catch that you know.” “What do you mean?” I said. He responded, “People can throw anything they want at you and you don’t have to catch it. If you don’t catch it it falls to the ground. It’s like a fire. If you don’t add fuel to it it will eventually go out.” I’ve never forgotten that simple teaching moment.
You told your son to do his chores before he left to hang out with his friends. He ignored you and just went and did his own thing. The feelings might be “Why doesn’t he listen to me? I’m so tired of asking him to do things and having him ignore me. etc.” As you consider your own feelings you may feel disrespected, disappointment, hurt that after all you do for him he can’t contribute just a little. What is a response that can cool the anger and thus you can deal with it in a more productive way when he gets home? Creating an intentional plan such as sharing with him why it’s important to you that he do his chores - to help the house look nice and create a clean environment, because he’s an important part of the whole and he needs to contribute. You can also create consequences when you have a cool head rather than when you’re mad. “If you choose to go play with friends again before you clean your room, then you will be choosing to skip a day of playing with friends, or you will lose a certain privilege, or you will lose $5 of allowance if I have to clean it for you. Once you’ve been clear with the consequences, he can make his choice and the consequence happens without anger. An important lesson in choice/agency and consequence.

We can choose to respond to anger. In the Emotional Resilence workbook Elder Robbins tells a story about an athletically talented young man who lost his temper when he made a bad move on the basketball court and missed an easy shot. He became angry, stomped and whined. The coach told him that if he did that again he wouldn’t be allowed to play. The young man made sure to control his temper throughout the rest of his high school basketball career. He learned that anger and acting out IS a choice and it can be controlled when we want to.

In an earlier episode of the LYS podcast, episode 158 -A Healthy Relationship to Fear: Interview Kristen Ulmer, a thought leader on fear and anxiety who draws from her tenure as the most fearless woman extreme skier in the world for 12 years, from intently studying Zen for 16 years, and from facilitating tens of thousands of clients on flow and peak performance,

She talks about her perspective on handling difficult emotions. While she is specifically addressing fear, the topic is really any difficult emotion. Here’s what she shared.

Tune into the show to hear this clip.

It was interesting to me that Katherine Reynolds, our therapist who spoke to us in these episodes and Kristen mentioned the same thing, about trying less to control with force our difficult emotions, and instead being aware and learning to navigate them. There must be some truth here.

This is the final episode in the 5-part series. Hopefully you’ve found some big take-aways, but all you really need is one. Share these episodes - with the people you love and let’s all work and support one another in improving our emotional resilience. I don’t think life is getting easier, we will just get stronger as we work the emotional resilience muscles.

Keep up the great work.

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Episode 257: Stronger Together - Building Emotional Resilience Through Healthy Relationships - Part 4Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast.

Have you ever been in a tight spot where a strong family relationship or a great friendship provided you a space for staying sane or healing? Let me rattle off a few that come to mind quickly for me:

Once I was talking with my therapist during my marriage to an emotionally abusive man. I was explaining how I had left and gone to my parents for a weekend. I remember her response because she praised me for intuitively going to a mentally safe space when things got hard for me. Going to a space where there were supporting relationships

I’ve noticed a comparison to the times that was single and had to deal with a hard day, a deep frustration with a real estate client, or a betrayal from a friend, vs. being married to a really good man whom I can vent with and go to for a place to talk and and shoulder to lean it. It’s a big difference.

I love that I have healthy relationships with my siblings. We laugh together and often play together, and at the very base of those relationships is the feeling that I have a strong base. I have roots. I’m not alone. Knowing that strengthens me.

As we develop loving relationships with others, our physical, emotional and spiritual health is strengthened. Family and friends provide love, support, daily sounding boards, socialization, people we learn from and teach, people we laugh with. We need each other. The adversary wants to isolate us from others. He wants to deprive us of the blessings that come from healthy relationships.

This episode is Part 4 of a 5-part series on Emotional Resilience. This started from an emotional resilience course I took with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and I wanted to share some of my biggest take-aways from the 188 page 10 week course. I hope these episodes - this series, will support you in your own quest for choosing emotional resilience skills. Today’s episode is entitled: Stronger together: building resilience through healthy relationships. Stay tuned and let’s talk about this simple but super important foundation for emotional resilience.

People were not made to rock things solo. We are social creatures. We all understand this because we are drawn to relationship. We want to find love. We seek after community and friendship. Babies who are not held and loved wither away and die. During Covid when we were kept from one another we saw serious mental issues surface across the board. I know for me, when I was single and my kids would leave for the weekend with their dad, I would sometimes be alone for an entire weekend, by the time Sunday got there I could feel the crazy of being alone. It’s also why solitary confinement is considered the ultimate punishment in the penal system. We need each other. Today’s emotional resilience episode is all about the reminder of the importance of building healthy relationships. Perhaps this simple concept is the basis, the most basic of creating healthy living.

Today’s show will go over 8 main points of creating healthy relationships. Things you probably intuitively know, but it’s always good to get a reminder. We’ll throw in a few recommendations and skills as well.

1

Creating relationships means BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS. This means you must take initiative and invest in the relationship. What does initiative look like? Inviting someone to meet for lunch or to come over for dinner, or to ride bikes or meet for an evening out. Reaching out to talk, go on a walk, share ideas. I

Investing in a person looks like remembering special days for them, checking on them, sharing life experiences, talking, playing. Basically creating space for them in your life and initiating relationship.

There is a book a read 25 years ago probably, that I’ve never forgotten, it’s called Investment of a Lifetime: A personal guide to investing in your life. This book took an entirely different look at things. The premise was looking at time as a commodity. “You can put money aside and save it but you cannot put time aside for future use You either invest time or you spend it. It taught me to look at my time as an investment. This investment attitude actually changed a lot of things for me - because mindset is everything. When I started looking at the time I was spending with friends, or siblings and later with my children as an investment, it made it mean something different than just being places and spending time. Let me share an example from the book:

READ STORY FROM BOOK ON PAGE 11

2.

Become genuinely interested in people. Learn what other people love and enjoy. Support things that are important to them. We don’t have to have everything in common, but real friendship supports and cares about things that are important to your friend, family member, spouse.

My real friends care about my podcast and show interest because they know it’s important to me. We all are caught up in our own worlds, but when we truly care about and support others we know what is important to them and care about their success.

My husband has decided to become a pilot. He cares about this new endeavor so I listen, support, and help him make time for something that is important to him.

You have a child who participates in a sport or extra curricular activity. You go to the games, or concerts, you watch and cheer.

This goes back to #1 about being willing to invest in your relationships, but it is this type of caring and support that builds relationship. If you have a relationship you want to make stronger, try this.

3.

Be a good listener: As a journalist I am naturally inquisitive. I always ask a lot of questions when I meet someone because I’m genuinely interested in their answers. I find this makes me a great conversationalist, because people can always talk about themselves. It’s a topic they now and understand, not to mention, most people deeply want to be seen, heard, and appreciated. Part of this skill, that we can all work on a little, is not interrupting.

The first time I really saw this in action was back in my early 20’s. I was over at my boyfriend’s house talking with his parents and I noticed that when someone was talking they would let the person finish completely before they would put in their two cents. It was weird. I noticed they did it with each other, even when they didn’t agree with each other, and whenever I would speak they’d let me completely finish my thought before giving theirs. It was peaceful. It was different. It was noticeable.

Bryant H McGill said, “One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.”

Kathryn Reynolds has been our resident therapist on this Emotional Resilience Series and one of the skills she recommends is called Empathic Listening. Here is how she explained it.

Insert Katheryn Reynolds interview: 37:34-40:05

Good relationships are based on respect. Besides, when you really listen to what another person is trying to communicate to you, you can discover some very interesting things.

4.

Make others feel important: Do it sincerely. We all love to feel important. And, everyone is important. When we respect each other, listen to each other, support each other and take time for each other we are communicating that that person is important to us.

One of my primary love languages is Time. When people are willing to invest their time with me playing, working, talking…I feel important to them.

The book, The Five Love Languages, very popular. If you haven’t heard of it, look it up. It basically breaks down the 5 primary different ways that people feel loved. So you can spend time with someone, but if their love language is service, you might be speaking Greek to a Frenchman. The idea is to determine what your beloveds love languages are so you can speak your love in a way that they can hear.

This is a great tool - figuring out the love languages of the people you care about.

But the greater point of point #4 is that when we feel important to someone we can build deeper relationship very naturally. MAKE YOUR PEOPLE FEEL IMPORTANT TO YOU!

We build real relationships one person at a time. Relationships take time. In fact, we don’t have time in our lives for relationships with everyone. There are levels. Think of it like a layered cake, the bottom layer may be all the acquaintences, the next layer the people you consider friends, the next layer the really close friends you want to invest your time with, and the top layer may be your partner, your children, the people who get the most of your time and attention. It’s okay, and I’d say important, to determine which relationships are the ones you want to invest in most heavily and strengthen and build those.

Have you heard the saying, “You are the accumulative of the 5 people you hang around with the most.” Choosing who you build relationship with is important to your life story. Choosing friends wisely - those who emulate the type of life you want to live. Live at a higher vibrational level and spend time with people who live in that space.

5

Let’s talk about being the type of person who is understanding and non-judgmental.

Being understanding and non-judgmental makes us happier. This isn’t just something we do for others, this is something we do for us also.

Everyone naturally makes judgements about situations and about people they interact with on a regular basis. And, to make things worse, when we feel hurt or angry, or envious we throw judgements around even more liberally.

But if you find yourself doing that in your relationships you will also notice that the judgement is really taxing on the relationship. Choose to allow.

6

This one is one of the challenges in the 21 Challenges in my book Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday. It is Giving the benefit of the doubt.

Henry B Eyring, in the Ensign in 2018 said, “When you meet someone, treat them a if they were in serous trouble, and you will be right more than half the time.”

Allow for Grace in the lives of others - give grace.

7

Conflict resolution is an important part of being emotionally intuitive and in being able to maintain relationships because people will always have differences of opinion. Conflict can happen because we have different values, different perceptions, different motivations, different ideas. In the April 2023 General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints the entire theme seemed to be focused on being peace makers. Seeking to find solutions to conflict. This must start on an individual basis in individual relationships.

Communicating becomes crucial in relationships. When there is conflict, communication is the way to resolve that conflict. How do you do that successfully? One primary tool that is often suggested and was suggested in this emotional resilience class was using “I” messages. When you use I messages you are identifying your feelings rather than blaming another.

For example: How do you feel if someone says: “You never listen to anyone and your not listening to me.” Now let’s switch and use and I statement: “I feel hurt when I don’t think I am understood or respected when I’m sharing my ideas. Keeping eye contact and letting me finish my ideas helps me feel like you care.”

“You are so inconsiderate and thoughtless.” vs “I feel unimportant when you miss dinner without calling.”

So, as you strive to communicate better in your relationships, consider the You statements vs. the I statements. I’d also like to refer you back to Episode 231 - Clearing Conversations. This episode goes into detail on how to approach someone when you need to clear something up in a relationship.

8.

Let’s just get back to plain old love. Charity.

Dieter F. Uchtdorf, in the Ensign in May of 2016 said, “Whatever problems your family is facing, whatever you must do to solve them, the beginning and the end of the solution is charity, the pure love of Christ. Without this love, even seemingly perfect families struggle, and with it, even families with great challenges succeed.”

You’ve heard the saying, “Whatever the issue the answer is love.” When you are in a bind, dealing with any type of relationship, take stock and see how you can move out of judgement, out of fear, and into a space of love.

Let’s close this with a rundown of what we’ve discussed for creating and strengthening our personal relationships - a crucial aspect of living a happy and emotionally resilient life:

Invest time into your relationships
Become genuinely interested in people
Become a good listener
Make people feel important
Be understanding and non-judgemental
Give the benefit of the doubt
Learn Conflict Resolution
Charity - Approach relationships with charity, grace, understanding, and not judgment.

Exercise: Let’s think about someone with whom you can build a stronger relationship. Choose someone in your mind. Ok, now identify 3 things you can do to strengthen that relationship. For example - I am choosing my husband. The three things I wrote down that I wanted to work on where 1. Listen better without interruption 2. Don’t criticize 3. when we have differing opinions I will say, “You may consider…” instead of “You should do X,Y or Z”

Because our relationships can be one of our biggest, most significant resources for emotional resilience and survival, I encourage you to nurture them carefully and with love. Because this is part of the beauty of creating a meaningful life - the relationships we invest in are the highlight of our lives.

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Episode 256: From Chaos to Calm: Managing Stress and Anxiety for Emotional Resilience - Part 3Welcome to Part 3 in our 5-part Emotional Resilience Series of 2023. I hope you’ve listened to Part 1 & 2. If not, here’s a little background: I joined an emotional resilience group a few years back. There was a physical therapist, a composer, a nurse, a home economics teacher and me, a Realtor. We did not know each other before hand, and we were doing this course on-line because it was during Covid. This group was put together by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in an effort to support people in learning emotional resilience.

The class focused on learning and practicing spiritual and practical skills to better care for the body, mind, emotions and relationships, and everyone took different things from the sessions, because we’re all at different places on the path with what we needed.

This was a 188 page 10 week course that I’ve pulled from and I hope these will support you in your own quest for choosing emotional resilience skills you can work on to better support your emotional work.

TODAY I HAVE included some clips from a mental health discussion I had with KATHERINE REYNOLDS, A Marriage and family therapist who has shown up in all our episodes so far; and parts of a discussion I had with Brigham Haines, host of the Consider Everything podcast, a podcast about mental health….Take from this episode what resonates with you, that you may navigate your life with a bit more resilience. One step at a time.

This episode - Part 3 - is all about Managing Stress and Anxiety for Emotional Resilience. Stay tuned for stories and insights from professionals.

Let’s put a few things out on the table. The first is a reasonable look at stress. Stress is a buzz word in our culture. We’re going so fast, we’re stressed out. Some see it as a badge of honor, an indicator that they are movin’ and shakin. But for some it’s gone off the charts and shifted into a debilitating anxiety.

Let’s dissect this a bit. Stress, in an of itself, is a normal part of life. It is how the brain and the body respond to any demand - a problem to be solved at work, an important decision you need to make - the right amount of stress helps you focus reach goals, protect yourself. Stress - in the right doses, can be an important part of functioning well.

When does it get to be too much? Well, when stress becomes uncontrolled worry, or perfectionism, or a predominant fear that thIngs won’t go well, that you won’t be good enough to solve that problem at work, it can cause anxiety. Anxiety, or a feeling of excessive worry or nervousness can cause serious barriers for us. It doesn’t fade when the situation is taken care of. It builds.

I asked Kathryn Reynolds about her thoughts on stress and anxiety and she gave some definitions and ideas. Here are her thoughts:

Tune in to hear Kathryn's thoughts.

So, comparison can be stressor.

Let’s look at perfectionism, because this thought error is a big contributor to anxiety as well, and ties into comparison. Perfectionsim is the belief that if we are not perfect in everything, we are a failure and not good enough. Perfectionism is not a sign that you do things well, it is an inner belief that if you don’t do things perfectly that you are unacceptable. Obviously, since no one does things perfectly, this is a terrible waste of time.

Tune into the podcast to hear what Brigham Haines has to say on this subject.

Kathryn confesses to being a recovering perfectionist and she has some great insights on how it isolates us through false connection. Here’s our conversation:

The podcast has all the clips from our visiting experts.

Let me share four principles for increasing self-compassion and decreasing perfectionism. 1. You must first become aware of perfectionism in your thoughts. Notice when it’s holding you back from doing, contributing, interacting, because you feel like what you’re offering isn’t perfect. 2. Challenge those thoughts, that feeling, the need to hold back because of your fear. Challenge it! Take yourself to the mat with the brutal truth that nothing anyone puts out there is ever going to be perfect and we don’t want to stay out of the game just because we are afraid. 3. Accept that mistakes are a part of life, but like Brene Brown says in Daring Greatly, we have to get into the arena, we have to dare greatly in order to live a life that isn’t small. We have to allow for vulnerability. Then 4. Accept and love yourself and all your imperfections. It’s okay. We are all a mixed bag of weaknesses and strengths. Join the club proudly.

Those who struggle with stress and anxiety each have their own story, their own triggers. Sometimes it helps to hear other’s stories…. Here is Brigham’s story of how his anxiety surfaced and some suggestions on how he looks at it and manages it and what he thinks causes anxiety and depression. See if you agree:

Tune into the show to hear Brigham.

Here’s some suggestions for dealing with stress and anxiety from Kathryn Reynolds:

Tune into the show to hear them.

Let me mention a few things that you can use to help you. There are a lot here, so just listen and see which ones will fit best with you:

Talk with God - know that he understands exactly who you are - all the good, all the bad, all the struggle. Imagine him sitting close, listening to you, and offering support. As you talk with him does anything come to mind that feels supportive? What advice can you feel?

Ponder. When you feel stressed and anxious, go to a place of rest and pondering, sit quietly and reflect on times you’ve felt blessed and supported. I like to use the Psalm, “Be still and know that I am God.”

Consider your expectations. Without a doubt our emotions hop on a roller coaster when expectations are not met. When life doesn’t turn out as we expected we feel disappointed, angry, panicked. These feelings raise your blood pressure and can cause deep anxiety and stress. Learning to manage your expectations - to allow for the flow of life and unexpected twists and turns, will help you navigate these spaces better. “All things shall give you experience…” even when they were unexpected.

Be aware of when you are stressed. Check in with yourself and notice if you’re not sleeping well, if you get angry easily, if you have low energy, if you feel depressed. If you’re noticing these indicators, find a go-to that works for you to relax. Maybe it’s time to slow, breathe, take some time to meditate, take some time for gratitude, take some me-time, grab a nap, reach out for a chat with a friend. Be good to you and know what works to manage your stress. You can also check the stories your telling yourself about your life. Are you creating unneeded stress by harboring stressful thoughts about how busy you are, how you are not enough, etc.

Mosiah 4:27 “See that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength.”

Stress can often be relieved and managed by being active. We have physical bodies that are tied to our minds - the human soul. When we work out we get endorphins that affect our moods. Use these. Walk, run, bike, lift weights. Be physical.

Stay connected with people - family and friends, those who love and support us, can often be the smartest move. I remember being in a therapy session once and talking with my therapist about how I was feeling down so I went over to my parents house to stay for awhile. She congratulated me on intuitively knowing where to go for safety and support. Sometimes we need a change of scenery, sometimes we need to talk something out, sometimes we just need a hug and to know we aren’t alone. Go to your people. In episode 4 of this series we will be talking specifically about how to create and nurture healthy relationships because they are so important to human mental health and happiness.

Sometimes we just need to take things one step at a time. Ask yourself, “What is the most important thing I can do right now?” Maybe it’s super simple, but when we feel overwhelmed, taking things one step at a time is brilliant. I feel like to I do this pretty regularly. I may have 10 hopping things on my calendar, but I will look at what is my next one and I’ll prepare for that. The other podast interviews can wait their turn, packing for my trip can wait until I get this dinner party over with, I don’t need to worry about that lesson I need to teach until after I take care of my client meeting today. Just look at what is right in front of you. One thing at a time.

2 Nephi 9:51 “Do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your labor for that which cannot satisfy.” My interpretation of this is don’t spend your resources, whether they are money or time or effort on things that don’t really matter. What really matters to you? Decide and then see what you can let go out of your life that doesn’t support those most important things - lower the stress level, take out the good for the best.

Last, I’ll just mention practicing mindfulness. when we can pull ourselves in from all the crazy stories we have going on in our mind, stories laced in fear, and responsibilities that we are feeling crushed by. Step away and just get present. Stop and really just be present in the moment, things will look completely different. Is there really anything to be fearful of in this moment? What can I see, hear, smell, feel on my skin? What is actually going on around me right now. Get out of your head and get into your body. I have to constantly remind myself to do this, but if you can get this tool down, you’ll have a completely different life experience, because being present is powerful. You must be present to win.

In my discussion with Brigham Haines he had some ideas about how the things we get involved in effects our psyche, and the environment we are in can cause it as well. Here’s the points he brought up:

Tune into the show to hear his points.

For many anxiety is no joke - no small thing - a diagnosed anxiety disorder. It’s not just feeling intense stress it’s a full mental attack. I know someone who had to pull their car over during an anxiety attack. They were shaking and drooling and even passed out. A friend had to come find them and help them out of the space. Healthy tools that help us get present, help us release fear of the future, help us shift into simple vs. overwhelming, these are key, but I am not qualified to speak to severe anxiety attacks that may need medication or a doctor’s help. The tools we’ve talked about today are powerful, seek to understand and implement them, even just one of them that seems doable for you, and if you need more professional help - seek that.

Brigham Haines and I talked about this idea of seeking solutions:

Tune into the show to hear Brigham.

I also wanted to know what he suggested as far as loved ones who support those who struggle with anxiety and depression. Here is what worked for him:

Tune in to hear Brigham.

It’s my hope that you’ve received even just one small thing that you can use moving forward.

Natalie Goldberg, one of my fav. writers said, “Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. Nothing is that important.”

Which I think goes hand-in-hand with these words from Virginia Woolf, “No need to hurry. No need to sparkle. No need to be anybody but oneself.”

When the idea of living big is crippling, step down into the basics - just being you. You are worthy of being here, worthy of having this life experience, and it’s just fine to take it slow and intentionally create whatever it needs to be for you. Living with intention doesn’t just mean everything is on super powered up, it simply means intentionally choosing what works for you. What brings you satisfaction, joy, and connection. You have permission to go at whatever speed that looks like for you.

Join us in 2 weeks for Part 4: “Stronger together - Building resilience through healthy relationships.

Please share this episode with anyone you know who is working to manage stress and anxiety. You never know what will land with them, Share the love.

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Episode 255: Developing Healthy Thinking Patterns for Emotional Resilience - Part 2Marcus Aurelius said, “You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this and you will find strength.” Today’s episode is #2 in a 5-part series of creating emotional resilience.

Today’s episode is titled: "Empowering Your Mind: Developing Healthy Thinking Patterns for Emotional Resilience”

A couple years ago I joined an emotional resilience group a few years back. The class focused on learning and practicing spiritual and practical skills to better care for the body, mind, emotions and relationships. Pretty important stuff. I want to share some of my take-aways and I’ll bring some experts in to comment as well.

As I mentioned, this is the second in a 5-part series on emotional resilience. I hope these episodes will support you in your own quest for choosing emotional resilience skills - because these are skills we all need . Stay tuned for this important step in emotional resilience - developing healthy thinking patterns. I want you to find one ah-ha today that will serve you.

My first marriage was in 1995, my second was 2007 and my third was in 2011. All three ended in divorce. When I finally came to love and accept my own personal story and the disappointment I felt, the failure I felt, the embarrassment I felt, the progress was all about learning to reframe the negative aspects of my story that I was focusing on. IT WAS ALL ABOUT INTERPRETATION AND MINDSET. It wasn’t until I learned how to step out of victim mode and focus on what I had gained from my experiences, like understanding what it felt like to feel unloved, to be cheated on, to be abandoned, to be emotionally abused; I gained empathy for women in abusive situations, I gained empathy for being a single mom, for lonely people, for times of brokenness, for needing forgiveness; for the struggle to forgive. I gained strength as I survived, and kept trying. Instead of my perceived stack of failures - the overall crap in the relationships and the ultimate dissolution of the marriages, I could find peace in my own messy journey by focusing on the things I’d learned and understood now that I did not before. It IS ALL ABOUT WHERE WE PUT THE FOCUS - IN OTHER WORDS - MINDSET.

My point is, our thoughts are everything. They create our reality. They make all the difference in how we see ourselves and how we interpret our world. How we talk about ourselves and how we think about things impacts how we feel because thoughts influence emotions.

I’ve brought Kathryn Reynolds back for this episode. She is a licensed marriage and family therapist. We met her in Part 1. She practices solution-focused therapy and is passionate about helping women with anxiety or depression regain their sense of identity, expression, and purpose. Here is a clip of our conversation on Healthy Thinking Patterns:

Tune into the podcast to listen to Dr. Reynolds.

In Proverbs 23:7 it says, “For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he…”

I know that none of these ideas are new - but they are vitally important to understand and to work on. I’d like each of you listening to take stock of your own thoughts about your own life right now. What stories are you creating? Are they negative? Are they positive? The ones that are negative - how can you hop over the fence and reframe them?

Let’s peak into an example:

I was speaking to a friend the other day and she shared a story with me that I thought really captured the clear concept of how the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves really define us. So it’s important to look at what we are thinking.

Hear Jackie on the podcast...

As we discuss healthy thinking patterns we need to first accept this important piece of the puzzle, that knowing how much power our thoughts have over our emotions and how much power our emotions have over our actions and how our actions will then build our character and determine who we become….well, both the Savior and adversary seek to influence our thoughts because of this obvious domino effect.

Doctrine and Covenants says, “Look unto me in every thought, with faith, without doubt or fear.” God calls us to keep our thoughts on him because of this cause and effect of this universal law.

So…lets talk about actual healthy thinking patterns, and identify unhealthy thinking patterns so we can become aware of them and check in with ourselves about which ones may be our favorites.

What is an inaccurate thinking pattern?

Well, there are so many things that we could list here, but I don’t want to overwhelm. So let’s talk about 4.

Inaccurate thinking patterns often look like 1. focusing on the negative, 2. seeing something as all or nothing, 3. jumping to conclusions, and 4. magnification.

Let’s take these one at a time:

First - Focusing on the negative can create distorted thoughts that cause us to feel badly about ourselves and about others, about life in general because we’re stuck in our hurt and complaint. When we focus on a negative detail, or on only what went wrong, that thing becomes bigger in our life and in our mind. It’s what we always talk about here - what you focus on expands. We don’t want the negative to expand, so be aware of this thinking error and shift out of it when it happens.

Example:

“Everything went wrong today…one mess after another.” Despite hard days, it is unlikely that your day had no positive moments - no smiles, no progress on a project, no positive interactions with a loved one or friend, nothing????

“This struggle my son/daughter is having is horrendous.” As a parent, it is horrible to watch a child suffer. Can I find in his struggle something positive to focus on? Is he learning something? Am I learning something? Is there opportunity to build relationship here?

Second - inaccurate/harmful thinking pattern: Seeing something as all or nothing.

Things are very seldom all or nothing. I remember a therapist calling us out during a marriage therapy session on this. “You always do….” “He/She never does…” The therapist would stop us and make us dig deeper to realize that no, the person did not ALWAYS do the thing being claimed. He did not always come home late and I did not always nag. You do not “always do the wrong thing.” And, everything does not “always” go badly for you.

Something is seldom all good or all bad. Look for phrases where you are saying “always” and “never.”

Let’s do this little exercise in challenging this thinking error. So, Let’s say you catch your child lying to you. This happens and you get to evaluate and choose. You can choose “My child always lies to me,” or you can create the more accurate thought that he or she is often honest. You can foster the thought that this lie shows a real lack of integrity in the child and he’ll never learn to be trust worthy, or you can choose to believe he is full of potential and this can be a teaching opportunity.

So challenge the Always and Never statements as they show up in your life. This creates a much more accurate perspective of things, and keeps us from despair. I’ve also learned if you praise the time sthe person does the right thing, you will see more of it.

The third thinking error is: Jumping to Conclusions.

I love this one because I specifically remember when this one clicked in my head as a young adult. When we jump to conclusions we interpret others thoughts, often assuming negative outcomes. For instance, someone I expected to be friendly with me is being dismissive. They must be angry with me. This is jumping to a conclusion - the healthiest internal response when you catch yourself doing this is to stop and to mentally remind yourself that you have no idea, really, why they seem dismissive. You have the opportunity to communicate with them rather than creating a story in your head about what’s going on in their head. Perhaps they have a family member that is in poor health and they are worried about it. Perhaps they had a rough day at work. Perhaps they are puzzling out something they are working on. The bigger picture is that it’s not always about you. Thoughts like: “I bet everyone is laughing at me.” “Everyone probably thinks I’m a big baby.” “He must be seeing someone else.” These are assumptions. Challenge them.

Let me share an example from this week. I got to my yoga class a little bit late and there were not very many places to put my mat down. I snuck onto the back row, chose the spot with the largest space and room for others to shift, and then asked the woman next to me if she could move her mat over a little bit? She did but I started creating a story in my mind that she was irritated with me. Instead of breathing and letting my mind move with my body, I was breathing and building a story about how this stuffy woman next to me was put out because someone had dared to ask her to move. Once I realized I was doing it, I acknowledged the story to myself and discontinued it. Problem solved.

Brene Brown tells a story in Daring Greatly about she and her husband going out for an early morning swim in a lake on a family vacation at a cabin in the mountains. They both used to swim competitively and so this fun morning swim was right up their alley. Brene was feeling a little insecure in her Speedo, since it had ben 20 years and 2 kids since she’d worn it, and as they swam she felt so wonderful and close to her husband. As she tried telling him how bonding this felt to her he responded flippantly and kept swimming. In her mind she jumped to the conclusion that he must not think she still rocked the Speedo, or that he was wondering where his wife of 25 years ago went. She was caught up in her head about her own insecurities. As he continued to dismiss her she decided that rather than going into the usual mode of hurt and silent treatment that she would address it straight on. She said, “What is going on here? The story I’m creating is that you don’t think I look very good in my Speedo or that you’re wondering where your young, fit wife of 25 years ago went.” He had no idea what she was talking about. It turned out that he’d had a bad dream the night before that his children had drown and as they were swimming he was just trying to deal with a panic attack by counting strokes. He hadn’t even really heard her try to connect with him.

We NEVER now what is going on in another’s mind. I could share a hundred examples of jumping to conclusions because it happens everyday. But let me be clear. Jumping to conclusions is the quintessential example of creating stories with no facts, only assumptions. This is what Kathryn and I were talking about earlier in the episode. This can bedevastatingly destructive to us and our relationships. When you can learn to check yourself - be aware when you do it and manage it, you relieve yourself of tremendous emotional stress and strain. Let me repeat that - When you can learn to check yourself - be aware when you do it and manage it, you relieve yourself of tremendous emotional stress and strain. So, notice, remind yourself it’s a story you are creating, check in with the person about what’s really going on. 9 times out of 10 the story we’ve concocted are not on point.

The Fourth thinking error is Magnification

Magnification is basically comparison. We magnify what others are good at and compare our own weaknesses. “I barely cook dinner for my family, and when I do it’s nothing like Ms. X cooks.” “He drives a better car than me, he’s so successful and I’m just a loser.” “She always looks so put together and I can’t stand to wear anything but jeans and a t-shirt.”

We’ve had numerous episodes on the podcast about how what you focus on expands. Episode 59, 186, 208, 223, and I know it comes up in even more conversations. You can see how dangerous this thinking error is because it allows us to create negative judgmental stories about ourselves that are not based on apples to apples. We all have different talents and abilities. We all have different places where we shine - and this is actually very important for a healthy community. We can’t all be good at the same thing or the tapestry of life does not have the color it needs to be beautiful. Comparison creates crushing self stories and it’s such a meaningless endeavor. Sometimes I catch myself comparing my work to the big uber successful influencers and I feel very small, and sometimes like a failure. So I remind myself of the rule of magnification - don’t. lol and I practice.

These inaccurate thinking patterns are used by the adversary to keep us small, to keep us in conflict with ourselves and others. These are the tools darkness excels at.

The beauty of becoming aware of them is that line upon line we learn the weapons that keep us small, and one story at a time we practice taking control of our own thought patterns. But practice is THE key. This takes awareness, time and patience. But most good, worthwhile things do. It’s part of that growth we talked about in the first episode from last week. So don’t gt discouraged. Start with awareness.

While thinking errors bind us and limit our happiness and ability to grow, challenging those thinking errors and replacing them with more accurate thoughts will free us, create confidence, and we’ll have healthier relationship with ourselves and with other people.

Thank you for being here today. Join me in two weeks for Part-3 of the series - From Chaos to Calm - managing stress and anxiety.

A big shout out to by BP Writer from United States for leaving us a very kind review:

Fabulous Podcast! Fantastic content, great guests, gems galore!

Came across the Love Your Story podcast and am loving it! Especially the episode with Samantha Hawkins. This conversation was just so amazing! The candid discussion about standing up for what you believe in had so many great takeaways! Can’t wait to listen to more episodes! Thank you!

Please share this episode today with someone you love. We’ll see you in two weeks.

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Episode 254: Building Emotional Resilience by Understanding Who You Are and Embracing Your Strength: Part 1In Life, the Truth, and Being Free, Steve Maraboli says, “Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.”

In this crazy world we live in we come up against things people in no other time have had to deal with. Our mental and emotional resources are taxed with mental illness, with severe deviations like all the confusion around gender, like the high suicide rates, like access to all sorts of depravity with the click of a button and the knowledge of all the terrors taking place across the world. We have experienced the trials of being secluded during a pandemic, and that negative voice in our heads telling us we are worthless seems to be at shouting level. Emotional Resilience is something we need like never before. I really like what Steve said, though life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient, but like any skill, that often takes intentional work on our part - so let’s fight for our lives and our peace of mind. Let’s learn and practice resilience. Stay tuned for Part 1 of this 5-part emotional resilience series: Understanding who you are and embracing your strength.

I joined an emotional resilience group a few years back. There was a physical therapist, a composer, a nurse, a home economics teacher and me, a Realtor. We did not know each other before hand, and we were doing this course on-line because it was during Covid. This group was put together by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in an effort to support people in learning emotional resilience during a hard time, but it turns out, of course, that emotional resilience isn’t something just for Covid sequestered people, it is a set of skills we all need in order to navigate life successfully and not end up shattered on the emotional rocks at the bottom of life’s cliffs.

The class focused on learning and practicing spiritual and practical skills to better care for the body, mind, emotions and relationships. We did the class as a council, sharing personal experiences across our Zoom windows. We made phone calls to support each other outside of class, and we practiced different skills like healthy thinking patterns, managing stress, overcoming anger….all the good stuff. Everyone took different things from the sessions, because we’re all at different places on the path - we need different things. And, like that class, everyone will get something different from this series as well.

As we close out 2023 I have put together 5 episodes that glean some of my biggest take-aways from this 188 page 10 week course. I hope these will support you in your own quest for choosing emotional resilience skills. I’ll share stories, use content I’ve pulled from the manual, and I have experts on each of these episodes to share some perspectives beyond my own. Take from it what resonates with you, that you may navigate your life with a bit more resilience. One step at a time.

What is emotional resilience? As a child I pictured my future with all the good things. I pictured happy relationships, a nice home, a successful career, lots of friends. As children we don’t know or understand how deeply difficult life will be in the future. We don’t picture the divorce, or the depression, the anxiety, the cancer diagnosis, the death of someone we love, the sexual assault, the disloyalty of a friend. We don’t picture the emotional gauntlet that we will be forced to navigate because of the nature of being in the world. Emotional resilience is the ability to adapt to emotional challenges with courage and faith, helping yourself, helping others, and reaching out for additional help when needed. We throw around the words “Emotional Resilience” every where - it’s a catch phrase, but let me just repeat that definition: Emotional resilience is the ability to adapt to emotional challenges with courage and faith, helping yourself, helping others, and reaching out for additional help when needed.

The mind is where all the battles of life are won or lost. Choosing to strengthen our mental capacity and mental muscle in order to better deal with the real journey of the hero, is a choice to arm yourself for the battle. Learning emotional resilience is the armor.

Kathryn Reynolds is a licensed marriage and family therapist. She practices solution-focused therapy and is passionate about helping women with anxiety or depression regain their sense of identity, expression, and purpose, so I pulled her in for this series to get her take and expertise on some of the things we’ll be discussing in the next 5 episodes.

I asked her what she thought emotional resilience looked like:

Listen to the podcast to hear her comments.

The ability to rise. What mindsets can help us pull on that strength when we need it?

In this episode there are 3 points I wish to make that will help us as we learn about emotional resiliency: First - Remember who you are. Second - Spiritual growth and learning is the WHOLE reason we are here. Third - We get to choose how we respond to the things we encounter in life, and with that choosing we build our characters one struggle at a time. These, I hope, will set a foundation for the following four episodes in this series that get more specific with emotional resilience techniques.

Let’s start with #1 -

Our first step to finding strength, self-love, and resilience is to know who we are and who we are not. Let me share some quotes to lay this groundwork -

In the Doctrine and Covenants it says, “Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God.”

Boyd K. Packer said, “You are a child of God. He is the father of your spirit. Spiritually you are of noble birth, the offspring of the King of Heaven. Fix that truth in your mind and hold to it.”

Dallin H. Oaks said, “Be careful how you characterize yourself. Don’t characterize or define yourself by some temporary quality. The only single quality that should characterize us is that we are a son or daughter of God.”

One of the greatest battles we fight is against the mindset that we are unworthy. Even unworthy before God. Satan uses discouragement to cause us to doubt God’s love for us and to doubt our divine nature. This is a powerful play on his part, because if he can make us believe that we are nothing, and as he did in the Garden of Eden when he told Adam to go hide, if he can get us to hide from God, then we, of our own will, choose to separate ourselves from our greatest source of strength and spiritual reinforcement. From a stand point of war (in this case a spiritual war) that is the equivalent of getting you to leave the walls of your fortified city and wander, confused, out onto the battlefield. That make us easy prey.

When I look at my boys I see soooo much! I see tremendous beauty, talent, ability, potential. They often shrug off my praise because it’s just coming from mom, but on the contrary, this is exactly the eyes they should look through to see their glory - the eyes who see it clearest. I think about how much I want my boys to accept their strength, beauty and power. How much I want them to live into their obvious greatness, how much I want them to be unaffected by the critics and insecurities brought on by society, culture, expectation, and I know God wants the same for me - that I will accept, not doubt my own glorious ability and potential. A parent seeing a child for all they are and all they could be and hoping that they will embrace it with boldness and not shrink in fear. We can relate, and I think is also helps us understand what God hopes for us too.

Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf, apostle in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints said, “Much of the confusion we experience in this life comes from simply not understanding who we are.”

The Apostle Paul wrote a hymn to Charity, translated in part it says, “for now we see through a glass darkly.” The original actually reads, “We see in a mirror dimly.” In other words, we do not fully see ourselves or understand who we are, it is why we seek to know who we are, to know our relationship to God. Some of the big questions we ask as we navigate life: Who am I? Why am I here? Once we embrace the answers we become stronger. Who am I? A child of God. Why am I here: To learn, grow, experience.

Spencer W. Kimball, past president and prophet of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints said, “God is your father. He loves you. He and your Mother in heaven value you beyond any measure. You are unique. One of a kind, made of the eternal intelligence which gives you claim upon eternal life. Let there be no question in your mind about your value as an individual.”

If we will accept this premise, really accept it, that we are loved by a benevolent god, that we are his and he is ours, we will most certainly make different choices. We will find courage rather than fear. We will square our shoulders, even when we doubt. We will have the spirit of power and of love and of a sound mind, as Timothy said in the New Testament.

My 2nd point: Our progress spiritually is the reason we are here. Orson F. Whitney said, “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable…and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire. So, the gauntlet, while difficult isn’t all bad. There is purpose.”

Plato, a voice from Greek philosophy - believed that our paramount moral duty was to become like God, as far as was possible. This means that we will have to know many things, experience many things, be pushed into the workshop of life where we can try out such things as patience, love, forgiveness, faith, etc.

The Apostle Peter, a voice from the New Testiment - noted that we seek to emulate the divine. This will cost us everything. Acquiring divine nature is not for the weak. It is a space of meekness to gain understanding.

Enoch’s - A voice from the Book of Mormon - experience with God, that he sees him weep over his creations, shows that God deeply loves and suffers with us. But God rejoices and commands Enoch to rejoice also when Christ is come to heal and create a returned space to Heavenly Father. This is a comfort as we face the painful stretching of spiritual growth.

My 3rd point: Let’s bring things into our own control now - less divine and more about how we navigate the path. In all aspects of life - the good, the bad and the ugly, we always get to choose how we respond. We always get to choose the story we create about it. We can believe we are victims, or we can choose to use our agency to choose better mindsets. This puts a lot of responsibility on us for regulating our emotions and taking responsibility. So, sometimes it’s not a favorite, but let me share this quote by David A. Bednar, Apostle in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. “As sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, we have been blessed with the gift of moral agency, the capacity for independent action and choice. Endowed with agency, you and I are agents, and we primarily are to act and not just be acted upon. To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon. As agents, however, you and I have the power to act and to choose how we will respond.”

I wanted to get Kathryn’s take on this idea as well, and she clarified things a bit - I think her comments keep this idea real. Here’s what she said:

Tune into the podcast to hear her comments.

I firmly believe that it is in the struggle to do so that we build mental and emotional muscle - and often it’s where we find the gifts that are waiting for us. It’s like a treasure hunt for the persistent. So if we start with awareness - notice when we have “natural man” responses like blame, complain, find fault, doubt, give up, procrastinate, anger, self-pity, fear, etc. and then when we see these things in ourselves we get to choose a better response.

In episode 241 Samantha Hawkins, she shares the story of not getting a job she felt she was qualified for - she had the choice to be angry, to blame others, to let self-doubt creep in, to quit trying, or she could rally, get feedback, learn new skills that would help her get the job next time. Here’s a clip from her story.

Tune into this episode to hear the clip from Samantha

You can see from her example that the mindset of blame and quitting is going to get very different results from the approach she took of making moves to get where she wanted - taking action to get better instead of just quitting when she was told no. This is emotional resilience - navigating touch emotional spaces well. Rejection is a tough emotional space.

Knowing who we are, why we are here, and that we have the power of choice answers some of the most pressing questions of life. With those answers we are empowered to face the struggles of living with more power and more peace. Knowing these things does not remove the challenges, it just helps us find strength in the navigation of hard things - it strengthens our emotional and mental resiliency. Your challenge this week is to deeply consider these things and see how they strengthen you. If these are true, how does that change your current mental approach to facing the challenges. I also would love to have you consider where you’re dealing with an emotional challenge and take your power to shift a mindset to serve you - shift into bouncing back, persistence, learning.

Thanks for being here today, and thanks to NFA Coaching and her 5-star review titled: Inspiring the World with Meaningful Stories! “Such a wonderful podcast! Lori asks questions that highlight the heart and soul of people’s journeys. So relatable and insightful! What a gift this podcast brings to the world.”

If you leave a review, we’d love to share your thoughts as well.

Have a great intentional two weeks, until our next episode - Part 2 of the 5 part series on Emotional Resilence - Next we’ll be talking about healthy thinking patterns.

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Episode 253: Coding the Subconscious for Success - Interview Riya SokolWelcome to the Love Your Story podcast.

We are inspired by people who help us see the world in fresh ways. We often get stuck in our stories and perspectives, and those stories, many times, limit us. Further more, we don’t often stop to question those stories and perspectives. Let’s take the Corona Virus for example. How many people stopped to look for the positive things that came from our time of seclusion, fear, change and sickness?

My guest today, Riya Sokol, is an internationally acclaimed artist, speaker and viral content creator. She gained widespread recognition for her video poem, “Thank You, Coronavirus.” I’ll play a bit of it for you a bit later in the show. The poem has been translated into dozens of languages and received awards at several international festivals.

Today we’re going to talk about abundance mindset, divorce mindset, gratitude mindset. She’s growing in popularity due to her unique and life-changing approach, so stay tuned to hear our discussion.

Riya, usually we start out with your full story and then talk about the things you’ve learned from it, but as I’ve gone through your areas of expertise, what I want to do is address three topics, and as we get to each topic you can tell us your story about how you came to understand the things you’re teaching us.

First - let’s talk about the subconcious mind: You have been doing research and experiments on the subconscious mind and then helping people realize the potential of our subconscious and how understanding and using it helps us live a deeper life. Let’s start here:

First, tell us your story about how you got involved in this type of research and why you’re qualified to talk about it?

Tune into the audio program to hear her answers.

Second: Let’s talk about abundance mindset. You have been known to say that we each sit in a position of abundance despite our current situation, even if it doesn’t seem abundant. You say, lack only exists if you decide it does.

What is your experience in how you learned this, how you use this?

What do we need to know about how to shift into this mind set?

Tune into the audio program to hear her answers.

Third, You, like me, have gone through a divorce. In that situation you always have a chance to choose to separate in a friendly or unfriendly way. That is a very emotional space to navigate. You and your husband chose to “extend your family rather than break it.”

Tune into the audio program to hear her answers.

Fourth, You started performing at the age of 6 - and as I understand it, that was a source of anxiety for you. This is a big deal - anxiety, depression, panic attacks. We’d love to hear your insights on these spaced.

Tune into the audio program to hear her answers.

To contact Riya:

Poem performance:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgm9E_cmvWA

Bio: https://kitcaster.com/riya-sokol/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/riya_sokol/?hl=en

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/riyasokolcom

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@riyasokol

As you’ve heard me say, many times, all our greatest battles are in the mind. Riya, as a mindset mentor, has given us some incredible tools and insights into continuing our development of our understanding of ourselves and our own power to choose mindset. So glad you could be here with us today.

Join me in two weeks for our next empowering episode. And in the meantime, share the love, do some good by hitting “share” and sending this episode to at least one person in your life who you thing would enjoy or be blessed by this conversation.

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Episode 252: Voices of Healing -Personal Stories of Life on the Healing Journey.Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast.

We all die. We all pay taxes. Another thing we all have in common on this crazy ride called life is that we all need to heal. Why? Because in this rough and tumble life we all get hurt. We all have to heal from things mild to wild, the broken heart, the deep disappointments, the full-out traumas. As I’ve looked over the past episodes of the Love Your Story podcast, no matter the episode, over 90% of them involve discussion about the path of healing. Whether the stories shared are about a miscarriage, an injury, a rape, a divorce, an eating disorder, the death of a loved one, etc. the thing they all have in common is that healing is part of the process if forward progression is to be made.

As is obvious by the name of the show, we are all about coming to love our own personal life story. Often times the thing that stands between us and a full acceptance and love of our story are the broken times, the shameful times, the things we see as “failures,” the things we need to heal from.

I’m so glad you’ve joined me today for some voices of healing as past guests share what this looked like for them. Let’s shine a light on the healing journey and see what we can learn. We all have things to heal from.

As we start out this episode I want to start on a humble note. The things we heal from are deeply personal and I’m not suggesting that I know how everyone should heal - just do this or that and all will be well. If I’ve learned anything from listening to people’s stories, it’s that healing is different for everyone, it’s deeply personal. So what I share today are quips from other’s journeys and a few personal ideas about things that seem to consistently work for people. See what hits home for you. If you can take one thing that will shine a light forward on your healing journey or someone you love’s healing journey - then we are getting it right.

My first real heart break was in high school. My first love was my high school boyfriend. We shared a locker, we snuck out of our windows to be together. We both played percussion so we got up early every morning before school and practiced and stayed late after. Of course we spent every minute we could, together. We dated for years. One summer we had a fake wedding ceremony next to a stream up the canyon. We had a teddy bear that I named after him and it symbolized our future kids. I have boxes of letters and notes from him. I know, to say it out loud is to shine a light on the beautiful immaturity, and at the same time I think it also shines the light on the depth a young, unharmed heart can go to. ….Until one Friday night I found him drunk, making out with the girl who was my “best friend” at a party. We had a couple of these bouts before I reached 19 years-old, and finally my heart was too broken to ever be put back together by him again. I don’t have a great healing story to tell you, unless you count 25 years later when I finally had to heal from a life of heartbreaks, I had to reframe, I had to let go, I had to come to love my messy, broken story with all the deep pains and disappointments. All the betrayals, all the bad choices, all the disillusionment. Three marriages, three divorces, a handful of serious boyfriends that I hadn’t chosen to stay with. There was a lot of relationship healing for me. At any given time we can be on the path to healing. It’s not just something that we do once and everything is okay. Every time you get a cut or a broken bone you have to heal all over again. Of course it’s the same mentally, emotionally, psychologically - we need to heal whenever we experience hurt. So, we are off and on the path continually.

As I’ve gone back and listened to the healing stories of past guests, I mentioned that it really struck home how complex healing is. It’s not the exact same...

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Episode 251: How to Overcome Money Block Stories: Insights from Dr. Amanda the Money Healer When I was growing up we didn’t have a lot of money. My dad was a teacher and we grew up growing our own food in the garden, mom made homemade bread, which now is very cool, but back then it just meant you were poor. My parents were frugal because they had to be and I gained a money mindset of lack. Over the years I’ve spent a lot of time working to shift that - focusing on gratitude and abundance. I’m so grateful for the abundance in my life - for which I have a great deal, but I also know I still have money fears, that I have to focus on generosity at times, that I have a tendency to save money rather than invest it. We all have our perceptions and comfort levels with money. So today I have Dr. Amanda - the Money Healer on the show. Stay tuned and let’s all see if we can take one more step on our money mindset ladder.

What is money mindset? Your money mindset defines how you think about money and influences how you save, how you spend, and how you manage your debt. It's your core beliefs about money and your attitude towards it. This includes: What you think you can and cannot do with money. So this is a topic for everyone because we all use it. Mindset and money have been hot topics, because everyone wants more money and everything in our lives is about what’s going on in our heads - the stories we are telling ourselves.

Dr. Amanda Barrientez - known as "The Money Healer" - is the founder of NFA - No Fooling Around - Money. She’s a bestselling author, an international speaker, the host of The Woman Entrepreneur Podcast, and the NFA Money YouTube Channel. She's been featured on over 150 podcasts, sharing tips on how to up-level your money mindset to manifest easier money in your life and business.

Today we’re going to hear her story of going from food stamps to building a 6-figure business. And once she got that figured out she decided to teach people how to transform their relationship to money so they can attract abundance from their Zone of Manifestation™.

Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast Dr. Amanda.

Join the audio program to hear her story.

We talk about the biggest money blocks for people.

Her NFA Money Formula

Her techniques with Affirmantras, and a lot more.

Buddha said, “We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.”

As I researched money mindset I found quotes from everyone from Suze Orman, Benjamin Franklin, Brigham Young, Robert Kiyosaki, Tony Robbins, Warren Buffet:

They all said, it’s not how much money you make, money is a tool, it’s not where you set your heart but getting money allows you to free up time in order to pursue the things you want - money doesn’t bring happiness, but it gives you time to create your own. They stressed the importance of not spending beyond your means, the importance of letting it work for you.

In all the wisdom from these money minds we come back to the fact that money isn’t happiness it’s a tool. But as I’ve discussed, a lack mindset sometimes stops you and keeps you small.

I’d like to end today’s discussion with these ideas - Mindset, one of abundance and gratitude has been proven to create such better living by opening to the flow of all good things. Just like we heard about today. I’d also like to tip my hat to the wisdom of being a wise money manager. If you don’t care for your money in the right ways, it won’t matter how much comes to you, it will also flow right out again. How many lottery winners have to prove that? There is a balance of responsibility and a generous flow I think we need to find in our peaceful heart of hearts.

We are all in different places of getting to this peaceful relationship with money. Dr. Amanda has a proven 3-step formula to help you begin...

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Episode: 250 The Kindness Effect: One Woman's Journey to Heal through Compassion - Interview Megan SneddenWelcome to the Love Your Story Podcast

When Megan lost her father in a plane crash and her brother in a car accident, her heart and life plummeted. Mental health issues brought her to rock bottom, but sitting at the bottom and looking up, she choose to find happiness despite her despair. On today’s show she tells us her story and introduces us to The Kind Effect, a movement she started that includes a 3-day Random Acts of Kindness Challenge. Stay tuned for her take on why “practicing random acts of kindness is a good way for people to introduce more regular joy into their lives and their stories…. I think she’s got some good stories to share.

Megan Sneeden is the founder of af kindness movement the Kind Effect. She says, “The journey of advocating and sharing kindness hasn't been plain sailing, but kindness has taught me vital lessons.” Today Megan is here with us, and I’m looking forward to hearing her story, her rise from the dark spaces, and what has come sense. You know that we are fans of Random Acts of Kindness on the show, since it is the first of our 21-Challenges.

Join the audio program to hear my interview with Megan. Some of our topics include:

Her story- take us back to the path that led you to where you are - the death of your brother and your father…
How did you first find your footing here as you were finding your way out of the dark?
What have you created? What is the Kind Effect?
What are some of your favorite RAK stories?
What advice would you give people who are really hurting in their lives. When you are caught up in your own pain, it’s hard to think of looking outside that….

To contact Megan:

Instagram @TheKindEffect or download her free guide The Changemaker's Action Plan.

Past president and prophet of the LDS Church said, “Along your pathway of life, you will observe that you are not the only traveler. There are others who need your help. There are feet to steady, hands to grasp, minds to encourage, hearts to inspire, and souls to save.”

I know how hard it is to try to think of others when you are in a state of pain, but often the way out of that pain is to turn your focus outward, away from the internal suffering and look to others, see what you can do to bring light, one small random act at a time, and before you know it there will be other feelings in your heart besides the heavy ones.

Your challenge this week is to keep RAK forefront in your mind and heart…look for opportunities, make opportunities. Put kindness into the world because its a win/win. Lifting our sights, lifting our energy, lifting the world.

Please share this episode with one person today as your first act of kindness and we’ll see you in two weeks for the next fun episode of helping you create an intentional life story filled with all the good stuff.

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Episode 249: Trusting Your Gut: How Intuition and Curiosity Can Shape Big Life Stories - Interview Taylor ProctorWelcome to the Love Your Story podcast peeoooopppplllleeee!

A bit ago, Taylor Proctor, a spicy little red head and the host of “Creating with Confidence” — an internationally acclaimed podcast, was meditating, and the idea of being an 8-figure business owner came to her mind. Now….8-figures is a minimum of $10m, and she initially thought….ya, there’s no way that is possible. But then she decided to explore what would happen if she leaned in curiosity instead of pulling away for the sake of reality. Stay tuned to hear her story because I LOVE the idea of leaning into curiosity. That idea comes up a lot when we talk about what’s possible, about not judging, about knowing ourselves better….curiosity can take us to some new places!! Stick with us and let’s see where curiosity took her…..

Taylor Proctor is an intuitive business strategist and coach who uses her skills as a mentor to help high-performing business owners confidently create the life and business they love. As I mentioned in the intro, she’s the host of Creating with Confidence — an internationally acclaimed podcast — and she loves to work with entrepreneurs to uncover their unique intuitive strengths while scaling and propelling their businesses through her proprietary IMOVE method.

Tune into the audio program to hear our conversation and topics like:

Let’s talk about this idea of intuition - this seems to be a big part of your system and experience. What do you know and believe about intuition?
I think, when we are talking about how to make our best life stories, that intuition is a really interesting piece of the puzzle. We haven’t talked about this at all, but I think we should.
Also, curiosity - let’s talk about that. What does that look like for you? What has your experience been?
What does IMOVE mean and how do you help people with it?

“When you reach the end of what you should know, you will be at the beginning of what you should sense.” ― Kahlil Gibrán

To Contact Taylor:

8 Crazy Actions to an 8-Figure Business Opportunity — Free Access: https://8crazythings.taylorproctor.com/8

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/taylor.proctor.31/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/creatingwithconfidence/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/taylor-proctor/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSv02tDGqO2_gyUbtMfVKNg

Website: https://www.taylorproctor.com/

Podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/creatingwithconfidence

Quotes on Intuition:

“Intuition is the whisper of the soul.” - Your challenge this week is to tune into your intuition. What does it tell you?

Alan Alda said, “At times you have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself.”

As we close today’s episode we’ve heard an important story...

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Episode 248: Raising Great Humans - Parenting Hacks from the GalleryWelcome to the LYS podcast. I’m a mom of two fantastic boys. They’re grown now, in their 20’s and in some ways they are even harder now than they were when they were small. We never stop worrying about them, wanting the best for them. Watching them suffer with hard things is much harder than suffering ourselves. When they were growing up I always followed the Love and Logic parenting model because I wanted to teach them responsibility, how to make choices, how to deal with the consequences of their choices. I’m sure each of you parents have your own favorite parenting styles. I dare say most of us parent with intention. Today’s episode gleans the fabulous parenting quips from past shows and puts them in one place. With this one episode you’re going to get all sorts of parenting value bombs.

So stay tuned for a little parenting pep-talk, ideas and inspiration.

First - We have a Mothering Coach on hand today. In episode 229, Lara Johnson, talks to us about her work coaching mothers for reaching their full potential and being the best moms they can be. Let’s jump right into some of her wisdom….

Here's a link to her full episode. Tune into the audio program to listen to just her clip.

https://player.captivate.fm/episode/43c93f12-52f6-4d12-aa88-0e66424ea09e

What I hear Lara saying is that moms need to not sell themselves short. We need to take care of us. Honor our dreams and our potential. We are the main engine of our family eco-system, and that engine needs to be acknowledged and taken care of. You can listen to the whole episode and hear about how she sets up systems in the home to do that, Again, that’s episode 229, but this is a great jumping off point for all of us - Taking care of you and your dreams is an important part of living a fulfilling life that keeps you healthy for your kids. I dare say it also sets an example for your kids of the importance of self-care and living your best life.

Second - One of the things kids need is time and priority. In episode 203 - It’s all about family - in my interview with Jason Martin, we talk about his book “This is Your Captain Speaking,” that he wrote for his family, so he could share bits of wisdom with his kids.

Tune into the episode to hear the clip I chose from Martin's episode.

C.S. Lewis agrees with him: "Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work." - C.S. Lewis

Here is Martin's entire interview:

https://player.captivate.fm/episode/68b2f2e0-d7dd-412e-9ba3-f913d47ee43c

Now, We’ve talked about talking care of us so we can be our best for our children, we’ve talked about making our kids/family our priority, and we’ve heard a bit about the importance of spending individual personal time with each child.

What happens when they enter the teen years and communication gets a little harder?

Third - On episode 236 and 237 I talk with Josh Brazier and Hollie Henderson, authors of Bang Head Here, about how to talk with troubled teens more effectively.

Listen to this episode to hear the clip or go to their full episodes to hear all they have to share. They have part 1 & 2 -

https://player.captivate.fm/episode/a1da3b55-15ab-4588-b48b-7e57cf594bf6

https://player.captivate.fm/episode/90f2ee15-7be5-42b2-b018-577b79867dfc

Building communication trust. Wow. That’s a big one. The idea where you don’t go into solving mode,

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Episode 247: Embracing Your Journey: A Gratitude Coach's Guide to Loving Your Story - Interview Holly BertoneWho has ever heard of a gratitude coach? What a great idea. On today’s show I am speaking with Holly Bertone, a gratitude coach, and we are going to be talking about how to unwrap resilience and build fortitude in our lives with the very lovely and important tool of gratitude. Stay tuned and let’s see if she’ll give us a little coaching.

After all, as Tony Robbins says, “When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.”

With us today is breast cancer survivor, Hashimoto’s warrior, #1 Amazon bestselling author, and host of the Grateful Warrior Podcast, Holly Bertone. Holly spent 25 years rising through the ranks of consulting and federal government service before her failing health shattered her corporate dreams. Since then, she has leaned into her path of true purpose and fulfillment as a Gratitude and Mindset Coach by helping women view their cancer or autoimmune diagnosis as a gift so that they can unwrap their resilience to build fortitude with gratitude.

Holly, Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast.

Tune into the audio program to hear us talk about things like:

What is your story and who are you and what’s the story that brought you into your wisdom?
Have you come to love your story?
I want to talk about How Gratitude Builds Fortitude During the Storms of Life. Tell me your thoughts on this….
What does gratitude coaching look like?
Coach the me and the listeners for a minute - what is a basic technique we can practice to help us really embrace the power of gratitude.

To connect with Holly:

hjracer@gmail.com

Fortitude.Academy

+1(703)835-5534

IG: @Holly.Bertone

FB: Pinkfortitude1

Deepak Chopra said, “Gratitude opens the door to the power, the wisdom, the creativity of the universe. You open the door through gratitude.”

Use it, people. Use gratitude to live with joy, wisdom and power.

In the spirit of gratitude I want to deeply thank all who are taking a moment to scroll down on your app and hit the “leave a review” button. Thank you. And, if you haven’t yet, I’d love to hear from you, we’ll even share your review on the show.

Here’s one:

Podcast Review:

Title: Such a treat! Author: Claribelleee from the Philippines

“Empowering, brilliant, and I learn so much!! Love this awesome show!”

Thank you so much Claribelleee from the Philippines. I appreciate your time in cheering me on!!

Your challenge for the week is to bring a larger dose of gratitude into your life. Where ever you are at on the gratitude scale - an every day event, or less, just move it up one level and start to open your being to all the beauty that surrounds and flows to you in your life.

See you in two weeks. Please take 5 seconds and share this show with someone you love and want to see succeed.

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Episode 246: Seeing Things Differently - Personal Stories of Shifting PerspectiveOne of the great life truths is that life is all about MINDSET. When you shift your focus the perspective changes, and when the perspective shifts your reality shifts. BOOM! Dropping truth.

Once we accept this and learn about the power we have to reframe events and the stories we tell ourselves in order to support our learning and living, once we fully embrace the power of perspective and the flexibility of it, we become unstoppable.

For example. With my personal story - I was married and divorced 3 different times. I can focus on the hurt, the betrayal, the struggle, the cynicism I gained from my experiences. Or I can reframe and look at what I learned, the great people I met because of the various experiences, the people who got to leave my life, the empathy and understanding of some really hard things that I gained. I can focus on the learning and growth, the empathy, the people, the places my adventures took me, or I can focus on the pain and all the messy bad stuff. That is my choice.

So, reframing and changing perspective are really the same thing. Do you realize how big that is? It’s everything. It’s how you interpret the world. Stick with me….

Today we’re going to look at some perspective shifts about some of the most common things, and how those various shifts create a whole different world for you to live and thrive in.

In Donald Miller’s book Hero on a Mission, he talks about the importance of keeping the perspective of being an agent in your own life - being responsible for choosing the way you look at your story and taking action in your story. - Let’s start with that. In episode 221 Jessica Burrell and I discuss the book and this idea of taking responsibility for doing the work in our lives. Keeping the perspective of our own power.

Tune into the audio program to hear this clip. Or, you can find the whole episode here:

https://loveyourstorypodcast.com/captivate-podcast/hero/

Check in with yourself. Do you need to make the perspective shift into being the agent of action in your life? Are you taking responsibility for your own life? If not, this is a powerful shift in perspective. If you’re already doing this, then excellent, let’s move onto the next perspective idea.

In episode 132 Rebecca Cookston and I discuss the book Deviate - the science of seeing things differently in order to get different results. This step is all about thinking outside the box in order to make life work for you. Rebecca is on the show because she implemented this deviate mindset in big form.

Tune into the audio program to hear the clip, or find her whole episode here:

https://player.captivate.fm/episode/3403d294-4172-4a85-bf5d-9e216106f778

This book, this discussion with Rebecca, this idea that we can stop doing things the way they have always been done, that we can shift our mindset and look for new solutions was one of the most powerful ideas I’ve processed.

In episode 160 Jo Marie Taylor was talking with me about her story of being a hostage in Iraq and how that experience shifter her perspective on the worthiness of all people. We’ve talked about shifting our perspective to take advantage of our power over our own life. Then we talked about thinking outside the box to find new perspectives to the same old things in order to see things differently and make them better. Now we’re talking about shifting perspective about the people that we come in contract with on our journey and how that changes life completely.

Tune into the audio program to hear this clip or find the entire episode here:

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Episode 245: Forbes declares, "One of the Best Storytellers of the Year." Interview Max StosselDear Listener…welcome back to the Love Your Story podcast. Today I have a special treat for you….really. It’s performance time… to welcome in the warmer weather and all good things we are getting a little Max Stossel.

Max Stossel is an award-winning poet, artist and filmmaker named by Forbes as one of the best storytellers of the year. Spanning across five continents, from Lincoln Center in NY to the Hordern (HORDEN)Pavilion in Sydney, Max’s performances have been described as "a rare opportunity to experience so many different emotions in the blink of an eye — the best bang for your buck of knowledge dropping, therapy, standup comedy, and wisdom-sharing. It’s an hour of purity."

Tune into the audio program because Max is with me today and he is going to perform two of his poems from his poetry special: Words that Move, and it’s REALLY good stuff.

Max Stossel’s work has been translated into fourteen languages, won multiple film festivals, and has been viewed over 20 million times online. He's been featured on BBC, CNN, TEDX, and a handful more.

His new release "Words That Move" is a first-of-its-kind Stand-Up Poetry Special told on stage at the Brooklyn Kings Theater.

This is nine original poems where Max guides us to see the world through different eyes, while articulating the deep-seated kernels of truth that we so often struggle to find the words for ourselves. Taking on topics like heartbreak, consciousness, social media, politics, the emotional state of our world, and even how dogs probably (most certainly) talk, Max uses rhyme and rhythm to make these topics digestible and playful. Love me some poetry…

In the audio program Max performs 2 of his poems for us and we talk about creativity and how we all have it.

You don't want to miss this.

Find Max and watch Words that Move:

wordsthatmove.com/special; https://www.instagram.com/maxstossel

Thank you so much for being on the show today and sharing your work. So happy to share space with your lovely poetic soul. You have an important way of seeing the world; poets always do.

I am a lover of poetry, a writer of poetry. If you recall, back in September of 2017 we had the poet laureate of Logan, Utah on the show, which was fun. I’ve had a handfull of poems published in the past, but one thing I know about poets, is that in general its a thankless art. It’s a quiet art published in small chapbooks and read at open mics in coffee shops and University campuses. I’m really impressed with how Max has used technology and performance to share his poetry, his unique insights into the world with the rest of us.

The lesson I’m taking away today is one about thinking outside the box. Just because something has always been done a certain way, doesn’t mean you can’t breach new boundaries, break down walls, find and use new ways of sharing.

Your challenge this week is to take one thing you’re doing in your life, especially if you feel stuck with it, and do a little brainstorm session that is strictly outside the box thinking, and see what you come up with. We always create our own boundaries. We also have to be the ones to break them down.

Have a great couple weeks and we’ll see you on the next episode of the Love Your Story podcast.

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Episode 244: Tips on Connecting with your Man - Interview: Laura DoyleWelcome to the Love Your Story podcast - we are really knocking it out of the park in 2023. This is our 6th year doing the show and I’m so pleased to have collected so many wonderful stories and life tools for all of us to reference and use. SO MANY.

Thanks for being here and continuing to enjoy the show.

Today’s guest is going to blow your mind. Laura Doyle is a New York Times Bestselling Author, she is the star of Empowered Wives on Amazon Prime, and hosts The Empowered Wives Podcast. On her home page it says, “I show women the proven way to fix their relationships without their man’s conscious effort–even if it seems completely hopeless.” That sounds like magic.

Stay tuned for 3 secrets to make your marriage happier and all the relationship magic Ms. Laura can dish out in 30 minutes.

Insert LYS Quip

Are you ready for some incredible power tips?

New York Times Best Selling author, Laura Doyle was the perfect wife…until she actually got married. When she told her husband how to be tidier, more romantic and more ambitious he avoided her. So she dragged him to marriage counseling and nearly divorced him. In desperation she asked happily married women for their secrets, and that’s when she got her miracle…the man who had wooed her returned.

Laura wrote a book, to share what she had discovered, and it has been translated into 19 languages in 30 countries, and accidentally started a worldwide movement.

She is the founder of the International relationship coach training school -called Laura Doyle Connect,she is the star of Empowered Wives on amazon Prime, the creator of The Ridiculously Happy Wife program and the host of The Empowered Wife podcast. She has been on The Today Show, Good Morning America and The View. She has worked with over 15,000 women and helped them fix even the most hopeless relationships.

Join us on the audio program to hear answers to questions like:

Let’s start with your story. It sounds like it might start at a place where all women in marriages have been - a space of trying to help your husband be his best self - at least that’s how we see it…. go ahead…
What are the most common mistakes women make when they’re trying to get their husband’s attention or affection?
How can you get your husband to help more with the house or the kids - the to do list?
You have 3 secrets to make your marriage happier - what are those?
Sometimes it’s hard to get our men to connect in deep converstation - you’ve got 4 suggestions for us, what are those?
You mentioned that there is a way to skyrocket the passion in a relationship, even if you’re in a sexless marriage - what does that mean? Enlighten me…

How to find Laura Doyle:

Email:lauramdoyle@gmail.com

Skype: laura.doyle44

Telephone: 7147263340

Website: lauradoyle.org

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lauramdoyle/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lauradoyle.org

Twitter: https://twitter.com/lauramdoyle

Brene Brown defines connection as, “The energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard and valued. When they can give and receive without judgement.”

Personal relationships, especially with our significant other, are key to our health and happiness. It is key to a fulfilling life, and things that are important often take a lot of work. Today we’ve had some great tips from Laura. If there are some weak spots in your relationship, start with some of Laura’s advice and see what shifts. It’s always about taking action - things don’t change unless we take intentional action, and today we got some ideas to pay attention to. Choose at least one and impliment it.

Thanks for being here. We’ll see you in two weeks for the next fabulous episode on the Love Your Story podcast.

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Episode: 243 - What Hate Can Do: Interview Peter MutabaziWelcome to the Love Your Story podcast.

Today is part 2 of a two-part story - the story of Peter Mutabazi. Peter joins me today, to share the incredible story of his life in Uganda, we are picking up where we left off in part 1. For his full story - please listen to part 1, because today we are going to look at the rest of the story and the other side of the coin. Part 1 is titled: What Kindness Can do. Part 2 is titled: What Hatred Can Do. The reason I am going to take an episode to talk in detail about hate, is because as I was reading Peter’s book “Now I Am Known,” one of the greatest turning points in his life came as he became a witness to the genocide in Rwanda. What he witnessed, what these events taught him, and how they affected the progress of his life.

Tune in for my talk with the author of “Now I am Known.”

“When I first saw the bodies floating down the Kagera River out of Rwanda and into Lake Victoria on the local television station, I knew something horrible was happening in our neighboring country. Every day I watched news reports showing hundreds upon hundreds of mutilated corpes floating down the river. Men. Women, Children. Some had been decapitated. Others wer cut open with other body parts missing. The bodies of children…I cannot speak of what was done to the bodies of the children. Over the course of three months, tens of thousands of bodies piled up in Lake Victoria and washed up on its shore. When the winds came out of the south and east you could not escape the smell of death…”

This is how the chapter “What hate can do” starts.

Peter - Welcome back to the show. We loved hearing the first part of your incredible story a couple weeks ago…

Tune in as we hear the story of bodies floating down the river, the massacre in Rwanda, the ah-ha of how hate was affecting him and where that took him.

“I have seen firsthand the destructive power of hate, but I have also seen the healing power of generosity, acceptance, and love. We all have the opportunity to help others, inspire others, and love others from a sincere heart.”

I think the world is incredibly messy. We are hurt, we hurt others, we love people who have been hurt or are hurting. We want to forgive, we want to know how to help others deal with difficult things like trauma or neglect or hopelessness. It’s all so much. One of the things Peter said in his book was “Hurting people need to be heard. They need to know they are not alone.” And then I was listening to a Ted Talk about addiction and the way we try to punish and ostracize addicts, when research actually shows that people and lab animals don’t turn to drugs or destructive behaviors when they feel connected. The suggestion for healing was not to ostracize the difficult ones, but to let them know you care, even though that may be the most difficult move. At any rate, I believe the more we listen to these real life stories, the more we seek the higher road, the more we understand where hate takes the human heart and the opposite, where caring, forgiveness, empathy and kindness takes the human heart, we can take steps in the direction of light.

There is no quick solution to the struggle to forgive, or to heal from trauma, but there is the choice everyday to choose kindness and love when we can, and to work on the moments where we can’t.

Let’s end with a couple quotes:

Will Smith said, “Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.”

Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

May you move toward love, empathy and kindness today, with intention. See you in 2 weeks for the next episode of the LYS Podcast.

To find or contact Peter:

Peter@NowIAmKnown.com

FB:FosterDadFlipper

LinkedIn: in/PeterMutabazi

https://nowiamknown.com/products/now-i-am-known-book

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Episode 242: What Kindness Can Do - Interview Peter Mutabazi - Part 1Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast

Today’s story, “What Kindness Can Do,” starts out with the story of Peter Mutabazi.

Here's a clip from his book:

“The vine came down on me so fast I did not have time to duck. It ripped across my right arm and burned like fire. “You worthless piece of….” my father yelled as he swung the vine around like a bullwhip. I spun around to protect my face. “Don’t you turn away from me,” He grabbed my shoulder with his left hand, turned me around, and brought the vine down across my neck and chest. Out of the corner of my eye I saw my aunts, uncles, and cousins running out of their houses. They had come, not to stop my father, but to watch. Nyabikoni was a very small village. This passed for entertainment.”

Peter Mutabazi joins me today, to share his story of his life in Uganda, his brave escape from an abusive father at 10 years old, his subsequent life as a child living on the streets struggling daily to stay alive, and the fortuitous meeting of a man who would change Peter’s life, and in so doing change the lives his siblings, their children, and all the children Peter now helps as a foster parent.

Tune in for my talk with the author of “Now I am Known.”

Peter believes that every child and every person deserves to be known. He has dedicated his life to advocating for children and youth. Peter grew up feeling unheard and unseen. He knows what it feels like to believe you do not matter at all in the world. He also knows what it feels like to slowly come out of that, one small step at a time.

Join us on the audio program to hear his story...

“When I was ten years old, I’d given up on life.”

AND

“When James saw the good in me, I wasn’t very good at doing that myself. Not just with myself but with everyone. I expected the worst in people, and I usually managed to find it. Even today I must intentionally choose to look beyond behaviors and external circumstances and see the humanity within.”

AND

“When a foster child moves from an abusive situation to a peaceful household, they feel like they’ve landed on an alien planet. When you find yourself in that place, all you want to do is go back to a familiar place, even if that home is hell. Hurting people do not deserve judgement. They need understanding They need patience. They need love. They need grace.”

Tune in to hear about his story, his book, his work and see if it doesn't leave you with a little shock and awe.

Peter’s story speaks for itself - What can kindness do? It can change an entire life and in so doing change many, many more lives.

To Contact Peter or buy your own copy of Now I Am Known:

Peter@NowIAmKnown.com

FB:FosterDadFlipper

LinkedIn: in/PeterMutabazi

https://nowiamknown.com/products/now-i-am-known-book

As we close today’s show let’s think about where we can give a little more kindness. How can we give grace, patience, forgiveness, support. That’s going to look a little different for everyone, but take a moment and identify what that means for you.

Thanks for being here. Thank you to those who have left a review for the show. I’d like to share this one from: Sam Sam Woo Woo

Review Title: This podcast rocks

“I love this podcast, it forever changed my life. One of the hottest upcoming podcasts and everyone should listen.”

Amen brother.

If you haven’t left a review, it’s super easy and I’d love to hear from you - I may even read your review on the show. Have a great day and live it with intension.

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Episode 241: Standing Up for What YOU Believe in - Interview Samantha HawkinsWelcome to the LYS podcast. On this show we share stories - stories of big adventures, stories of big struggles, stories that allow us to share our experiences and learn from each other.

Today’s guest is a story teller, so get your cup of tea or cocoa, find a warm comfy blanket, and settle in for some stories that teach us a few lessons.

Samantha Hawkins, author of the children’s book “My Mommy Marches,” has been a 911 dispatcher for almost 8 years. She’s a training officer and instructor with Cobb County 911 in Marietta GA. She’s also a public speaker and a story teller.

Samantha was working disbatch during the riots that happened during the Black Lives Matter movement. She, being a black woman and a dispatcher and public servant, gets a unique view from both sides and I’ve invited her to be a guest on the show today to share some of her own stories.

Tune into the audio program to hear what brought Samantha to write the book, My Mommy Marches, and the right we all have to stand up for what we believe in.

I think part of living our lives intentionally is standing up for what we believe in - whatever that is - I think that’s really what your book is about. Everyone has a different set of beliefs, but we live in America where we all have the freedom of speech - at least in theory - and we get to support that for everyone while marching for what we believe in. And maybe marching means not being afraid to share your beliefs in social media. Maybe it means standing up for people who have a difficult time standing up for themselves. What does it mean to you?

In the audio program she shares 2 stories with us about how she learned to preserver. Join us for her stories.

To contact Samantha:

Instagram handle: @forevertellingtales

LinkedIn URL:

https://www.linkedin.com/mwlite/in/samantha-hawkins-2a045b3b

Pre-order My Mommy Marches:

https://www.amazon.com/My-Mommy-Marches-Samantha-Hawkins/dp/1915244129/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3OV5LJ2JS5NAC&keywords=my+mommy+marches&qid=1671720404&sprefix=my+mommy+marches%2Caps%2C72&sr=8-1

Samantha - thank you for sharing your storytelling and your life lessons. And thank YOU, dear listener, for being with us today. If you have some stories you’d like to share, I’ve been thinking of doing an episode or two that are a bit like The Moth - if you’ve ever listened to that it’s where people come and share their own 5-10 minute stories about an event in their life.

On the Love Your Story podcast website - loveyourstorypodcast.com, there is a page titled “guesting.” Go to that link and fill out that form with the subject line of Share My Story and let’s see where this leads us.

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Episode 240: A Brave Little Warrior - The Story of a 4-Year-Old's Amputation JourneyDescription: Rosalie Mastaler was pushed into the world of disabilities when her son was bitten by his father's K9 police dog. Tune in for the story of courage and how the family creates good and recognizes miracles from this loss.

Shownotes:

Rosalie Mastaler learned about Disability Advocacy when her husband's police dog bit her son, Hunter, on February 8, 2015. Despite the trauma, Rosalie and Hunter chose to accept his disability and continue on with life. Rosalie learned that she couldn't change her son's choice to accept his disability, but she could give him tools and opportunities to help him. Hunter eventually accepted his disability and learned that happiness is a choice and that resilience is a journey. Rosalie was inspired by Hunter's ability to keep getting up and pushing forward, no matter how difficult or challenging the journey was.

Listen in to our discussion about:

1. How did a police dog bite Hunter and what were the rules around those dogs?

2. How did Rosalie and her husband cope with the guilt and the trauma of the situation?

3. How did Hunter's journey of resilience help shape Rosalie's perspective on life?

Visit Rosalie Mastaler’s Socials:

Mastaler Family on Instagram

Rosalie's Website

Rosalie on Facebook

TRANSCRIPT

00:00:19 Lori: Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. On this show, we share stories. We share stories of big adventures, stories of big struggles, stories that allow us to share our experiences and to learn from each other. And today's guest, Rosalie Mass Taylor, was pushed into the world of disabilities when her oldest son was attacked by a police canine and he lost the lower part of his left leg. She and her family now focus on being advocates for those with disabilities and helping people to keep hope was a big thing.

00:00:55 Lori: When Hunter, this is her son, became an amputee at just four years old, his parents had to negotiate a host of feelings, including guilt and grief and worry for how their son was going to adapt. The loss of his lower leg altered their lives and how they cared for him, of course. But Rosalie and Michael, his dad, soon realized that the most powerful tool that they could offer Hunter was resilience. I'm really interested about this resilience topic because it's so big for all of us. So stay tuned for their story and a peek at the Mass Taylor Party of Five.

00:00:43 Lori: Stories are our lives and language. Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. I'm Lori Lee, and I'm excited for our future together of telling stories, evaluating our own stories, and lifting ourselves and others to greater places because of our control over our stories. This podcast is about empowerment and giving you the listener ideas to work with in making your stories work for you. Story power serves you best when you know how to use it.

00:02:25 Lori: Mass Taylor Party of Five is the social media presence of the Mass Taylor family and their story. In 2015, Michael, that's the dad in this story, his police dog attacked Hunter, their four year old son. And the bite was so severe that they were forced to amputate his left leg below the knee. Seeing their names and their pictures in the news articles and the stories across the world was mortifying. And all they wanted was privacy to recover in peace.

00:02:54 Lori: As Hunter began to heal and adapt, they felt inspired to share their journey of hope in finding joy. They knew they were more than a tragedy. And so today, we get to talk with Mama Mass Taylor herself. Rosalie, welcome to the Love Your Story podcast.

00:03:12 Rosalie: Hi, Lori. Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it.

00:03:15 Lori: Absolutely. Let's jump right in with your story. Take us to what happened.

00:03:24 Rosalie: We're actually about to, I say celebrate the 8th anniversary of that day. We call it Hunter’s, A Live Day. It's almost like another birthday for him. So on February 8, 2015, I get a phone call from my husband saying that his police dog bit Hunter. And Hunter was four years old at the time like you had said. And I'm like, all right, I was out running a quick errand. And I'm like, okay, tell me what hospital. I need to meet you guys at.

00:03:57 Rosalie: He was very calm. But I mean he had been a police officer for over a decade by then. He knew how to handle these situations. And his calmness definitely kept me calm but it also didn't give me any inclination of how severe the situation was.

00:04:14 Lori: Well, tell me really quick. How were Hunter and the police dog interacting? What prompted it?

00:04:22 Rosalie: We don't know. There's a lot of misconceptions with police dogs. I think this is a good place to start because there are some police dogs that are just used to sniff things, whether it's drugs or bombs. Those could be very nice dogs like bloodhounds. You can go up to them and pet them and they're not going to care. But then you also have dogs that are trained to bite and train to go after that suspect and help the police officer contain them and take them down.

00:04:53 Rosalie: And the police dog that my husband had was one of those. He was trained to be a bite dog. And those dogs have tons of rules around them. They don't typically like to take them out to community events just because there's a lot of rifts with it as it being in our home, the family does not interact with it. It is not a family dog. It is not a pet. It was my husband's partner. And if he wasn't at work with him in his police unit training, then he was at home locked up in his kennel.

00:05:25 Rosalie: Now to give some backstory of how it happened was my husband had been working at a bootcamp that weekend and it's with troubled teens in his city. So I'm sure you can imagine how taxing that was on him for that weekend. It's only him and a few other officers that run it. And it's the very first weekend and he had been gone all weekend. And so that meant Django hadn't been with his partner all weekend.

00:05:51 Rosalie: We can only assume how Django was feeling when Michael came home and let him out. Probably very much wanted to be let out of his cage. So Michael came home, let him out of his cage. I told him, I'm running a quick errand. I'm taking my younger son, who was about 18 months at the time. He said, I'm going to leave Hunter here with you. Because Hunter, he was over four and a half, very capable of turning on the TV and just sitting there and doing his own thing. He was very, very independent.

00:06:20 Rosalie: Michael went up to take a shower. Because like I said, he'd been gone at a camp all weekend. And Hunter did not realize that I had left. And so he went looking for me. And it was very, very odd that he went looking in the backyard because we don't use our backyard. It was a smaller backyard. We rarely even played out there. I rarely went out there. But for some reason, he went looking in the backyard and Django was out there.

00:06:46 Rosalie: No one was around. No one knows how it happened. He tries to describe the event sometimes. But all I can assume is that he looked out the door and Django saw him. And Django's queue is that door opens and he makes his journey from that back door to the police unit, which is through the house to the garage.

00:07:08 Rosalie: Whenever that happened, me and the kids always stood back. We kept our distance. And he knew it was just a beeline to the car. That's how he was trained. So my guess is he opened the door. Django saw the door open, tried to go inside. And Hunter put out his leg to put some distance between them and Django put down on his leg.

00:07:28 Lori: Were there any repercussions for Django?

00:07:30 Rosalie: No, there were not. There was talk of them and yeah, there were not.

00:07:36 Lori: Okay, so go on with your story. I sidetracked you there.

00:07:40 Rosalie: No, you're totally fine because that's usually a very common question. And usually, people wonder, what did happen with him? He went to the previous owner, the previous handler. He was out of our lives pretty much instantly. There are zero bitter feelings towards him. He's a dog.

00:07:56 Lori: He did what he was trained to do.

00:07:58 Rosalie: And animals are animals. And we still love them. And people often wonder too, does Hunter still like dogs? He loves them. He loves them. He will pet them.

00:08:05 Lori: Oh, good.

00:08:06 Rosalie: Yeah. Anyways, so I get the phone call. And I just thought, oh, it was probably a little snap. He probably just needs stitches. Tell me where I'm going to the hospital. So a few phone calls went back and forth. Michael stayed very calm. And finally, we get to a phone call where I'm hearing people talking in the background. And I'm like, who is in the background? And he said, It's the paramedics.

00:08:30 Rosalie: And that's when I'm like, why are there paramedics at our house? What is going on? And he said, Rosalie, just get home as soon as you can. And I'm like, I want to know what's going on. And he had to hang up the phone because I think he's trying to coordinate everything, calls me back, and I hear him talking to the paramedic. And he said, where are you landing the bird? And I knew they were bringing in a helicopter for him.

00:08:56 Rosalie: And that's when I lost it. That's when I knew my son's life is in danger. I just need to get to him as soon as possible. Luckily, I was not the one driving. I happened to be with Michael's younger brother. He ran the errand with me. So he was driving and he drove us to the airport where the helicopter was. And I got there just in time for them to take off and take me and Hunter to the hospital.

00:09:20 Lori: Wow. I can only imagine.

00:09:22 Rosalie: Yeah.

00:09:22 Lori: So what happened from there?

00:09:24 Rosalie: It was a very quick 12-minute ride to the hospital. There were a lot of very sincere and some very specific moments from that drive to the hospital, to the airport, and then lifting us up to the hospital. The moment I got to Michael and he met me at the truck before we got to Hunter. And that interaction with him will stay with me for the rest of my life because he broke down.

00:09:56 Rosalie: And Michael, I can count on one hand how many times I've seen him crying. And we're high school sweethearts. We have known each other for many, many years. And it was a look on his face that I had never, ever seen before. And it was just guilt and pain and just so many words that I can't even fully describe how he looked. And the first thing he said to me is, it's all my fault.

00:10:21 Rosalie: And I felt so bad for him because nobody wants that guilt placed on their shoulders. And I immediately told him without any hesitation, I will never blame you for this. And I felt that so strongly and I still feel that. And there's never been a moment of blame. And we had a very brief moment together, very intimate. And then I got to Hunter right away. They got us on the helicopter. We lifted up. I was just trying my best to stay calm and to breathe.

00:10:52 Rosalie: And as we lifted up, there was this big, not necessarily mountains, but there's a small mountain range from where the airport was to get us to the children's hospital because there was not one in our area. And it's just very clear. There's not really a city. And the sun was setting. You can see, through the clouds, the sun and the mountains. And I just remember looking out the window and looking at the colors in the sky.

00:11:20 Rosalie: And I just knew that I was seeing God. And I just cried out to him. I said, please, I see you. I know that this is you. Please, protect my little boy. And I knew that He would. I knew that He would. I didn't know what that meant, but I just knew that He would protect him. And that moment of faith, I was able to hold on to that in the very beginning and to just hold on to it throughout the whole journey of everything.

00:11:49 Lori: So how was Hunter doing?

00:11:51 Rosalie: By the time I got to him, he was pretty sedated, so very quiet. I don't think he even really noticed if I was there. So yes, because I think they shot him up with morphine pretty quick when they got to him. So by the time I got to him, he’s just very calm. I don't even remember him saying anything to me.

00:12:08 Lori: So how long did it take before you knew you were going to have to have the leg amputated? And was all that decided pretty quickly?

00:12:15 Rosalie: No. So we get there and they rush him in right away. I knew they were going to get him into surgery, and they had me signed the consent form. And at this point, I was there by myself because Michael couldn't get in the helicopter with us. And a lot of it was a blur. And I just remember them reading out these things, okay, we're going to try and do this and this and this and this. And then at the very end of the consent form, it said, and if we have to, we will amputate his leg.

00:12:42 Rosalie: That's all I remember. I almost passed out. They caught me, sat me down in a chair. I scribbled my name and I could not fathom it. I could not imagine my child losing a limb. So they got him into surgery. They tried everything they could to repair everything. But they came out and they said, we've done everything we can. But we don't know if the blood flow is going to return through those veins. And what happens with small pediatric bodies when there's a rupture and a wound like that is there's an elasticity to the veins that closes them up pretty quick so they don't bleed out.

00:13:22 Rosalie: So it saved his life, but he lost his leg because of it. So it took about three days. And on February 11, his foot was just turning black and blue because there was no blood flow. And on February 11 is when they made the call, this is what we have to do, or else he's going to lose more of his leg, or there's going to be infection. And it's just going to get worse. And they amputated it that day.

00:13:45 Lori: Wow. So how did you and Michael do that day?

00:13:48 Rosalie: So that day, I think it was a miracle that we survived that day. I remember the day before and the days leading up to it, all I wanted to do was just cry nonstop. Just so many emotions. Whenever anyone talked to me, I just felt I just wanted to cry and cry and cry as my son lay in the hospital bed. We didn't know what was going to happen. It never pointed to him keeping his leg, but I still wanted to have faith that he would.

00:14:21 Rosalie: And so it was so many torn feelings and emotions of, I want this miracle, but I don't think it's going to happen. So the night before, I just remember being so upset thinking, how did this happen? We knew that it was going to happen that day. In the morning, Michael came in because I would stay the night at the hospital with him. So he came in that morning and we just sat there by Hunter's bed, and I just cried out to Michael.

00:14:51 Rosalie: And I'm like, this just isn't fair. It's not fair for him. I just don't understand. And Michael so calmly, and it just seemed like he was so empowered by faith, said to me, this is Heavenly Father's way of protecting him. And we went through all of the things that could have happened. He could have been bitten on different parts of his body. He could have died. He could have bled out. He could have lost more than just the bottom of his leg. We thought of all of our blessings and how he's still alive. And that was it. We just went into it with that faith.

00:14:35 Lori: That's beautiful. Yeah. So let me ask this then as a comparison. What was the hardest part of this for you and then what was the most beautiful part of it for you?

00:15:45 Rosalie: The part initially, the trauma wise? Is that what you're referring to?

00:15:51 Lori: Whatever you went.

00:15:52 Rosalie: Whatever it went. Okay.

00:15:54 Lori: The whole experience. You talked about being able to purposefully transition into a space of gratitude and restructuring the story so that it was supportive of you, which is such a fabulous resilient skill. So you showed that right off the bat. And in doing so, obviously, with these kinds of events, with the hard stuff in our lives, there's always things that we learn and get things out of it. And so what is the thing that has been the best for you? And then what was the low point as well? Just so we have this comparison.

00:16:27 Rosalie: Yeah, so I'll start with the low point. So we can get to the happier part. I think the hardest thing was watching him struggle and realizing that it was his choice whether or not to accept his...

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Episode 239: Tools to Magnify our Worthiness: Interview Chris HawkerAm I worthy of love? Am I worthy of good things? Am I worthy of success?

I have a couple family members who have recently discussed with me feelings of unworthiness because of religious or cultural messages. It’s come up as a topic in multiple groups recently, so it’s been on my radar.

So, when Chris Hawker, co-founder of Next level Trainings, recently was featured on the Spirit River Coaching Summit speaking on “Are you worthy enough to love yourself - tools to magnify worthiness and move you forward,” I reached out to him right away to see if he’d talk to us about this universal struggle. The struggle to feel we are worthy of all the good stuff.

Tune in for our talk about how to embrace our worthiness and the tools to help us do that.

I believe in light and in darkness, I believe in good and in evil. I believe in these things because I’ve experienced what it’s like to sit in love and light, and I’ve experienced what it’s like to feel fear and shame and the hell it brings. I believe in God and light and love, and I believe in Satan, who seeks to keep us small and miserable, filled with self-loathing and self rejection. As I have watched people, done interviews, read transformational biographical stories of the human struggle, and taken note of our predominant struggles as humankind, I have come to the conclusion that feeling unworthy is one of the greatest tool that separates us from light and love. Feelings of self loathing and self doubt are amplified by our natural negativity bias, the devil on our shoulder seems to always be ready to cut us to the quick, ready to make us doubt ourselves and our worthiness for good things, for love, for success. Basic life struggles are instantly met with the idea that we are not enough.

The reason this tool is so powerful in stopping us, is that when we buy into the belief that we are unworthy we will play small. We will not share our talents with the world, which rips everyone off - us and the world. We slink in the shadows, living well below what we are capable. I suspect one of the biggest battles we will ever engage in during our lives is the fight, within our own minds, to accept our brilliance, our worthiness, our potential, and our beauty as humans.

This is why I’m so pleased today to talk with Chris Hawker about tools for magnifying our worthiness so we can move forward in big and fabulous ways.

Let me introduce him - Chris Hawker is a transformational leadership trainer, inventor and professional speaker. He has trained teams at organizations like Duracell and McDonald’s. He coaches leaders in living vision-driven lives. His award-winning inventions have received 40 patents, and his work has been featured in USA Today, the New York Times and Wall Street Journal. He is co-founder of Next Level Trainings, which has trained thousands of individuals, raising over $4M in charitable donations. He resides in Columbus, OH, with his wife, son and dog

Tune into the audio program to hear our discussion about things like:

Let’s start out with your story - what has been your path to a full acceptance of your self worth?
What is self worth?
Where does it come from?
Why does doing the work to shed the unworthy feelings we have matter?
How do you coach people as they work on reclaiming a deep sense of self worth? What do we do to get self worth?
I’d like to get your thoughts on a couple of quotes - one you are familiar with and one is a surprise -

First one:

Roy T. Bennett said, “If you want to fly, you have to give up what weights you down”

Second one:

Maya Angelou said, “I learned a long time ago, the wisest thing I can do is be on my own side.”

To contact Chris:

Chris@nextleveltrainings.com

In my heart-of-hearts I feel a deep sadness at how we all, me included, sell ourselves short. I think we live well below our possibilities and privileges, and I hope in some small way this episode today can start to shift that a little for everyone who hears it.

We are so worthy of really good things - we are souls with so much potential, and at the end of our lives wouldn’t that be the safest part, to look back and realize what we could have done, created, experienced, felt if only we had unstop our own light and possibility.

Your challenge this week is to think some something you feel unworthy of. Choose something that Chris has said today and actively start healing that erroneous thought. Sometimes those feelings of unworthiness are easily untethered - seek in meditation or prayer what your path is to healing them. The path and need is different for everyone, but this is a call to start accepting your worthiness. Do the work to embrace that.

Thanks for being here today, and thanks to all who are leaving reviews.

Here’s a quick share:

Thanks to Delled28 from United States

Uplifting & Real

The stories shared here and the perspectives of owning our own story is so powerful. Thank you Lori for creating a beautiful platform where we can all learn to embrace the ups and downs of our own stories with grace and gratitude.

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Episode: 238 - The Messages: A Story of Navigating Life Transitions and Embracing ChangeWelcome to the Love Your Story podcast. I’ve struggled for a month, since I read Dawn Kohler’s book, The Messages, to figure out how to introduce this woman, what direction to take our discussion, and how to adequately portray the events that took place in her life….I’ve come up with nothing that seems to fully do the job so I’m just going to say “wow” and jump right in.

In her 30’s Dawn’s body simply would not let her get out of her car as she pulled into her thriving, award-winning computer company, for another day as CEO in a job she loved. She couldn’t get her hand to open the door. After sitting for hours she finally drove home and started on one of the most interesting and spiritual journey’s I’ve ever read about. She says, “by sheer self-mutiny, the self I was born to be decided to hijack the one I had created.”

Tune into the audio for Dawn Kohler’s story and the amazing things we are going to learn from it.

Dawn Kohler was an award-winning entrepreneur in the computer industry when she was abruptly summoned to take a life-altering course. What followed was an extraordinary healing journey from childhood abuse and rape. This journey took a giant toll on her, on her family, and on her marriage, but it gave her profound insights, incredible healing, and deep understanding. Combining these insights, and her business experience, Dawn became a sought-after Executive Coach helping leaders understand and enhance their impact on others and their contribution to the world. Her clients have included many of the most influential women in entertainment, as well as senior leaders at Sony Pictures, NBC Universal, Lionsgate, DreamWorks, Fox, Snapchat, Disney, and Amazon.

Dawn is the author of 3 books including her recent memoir, The Messages, a prophetic journey.

Tune into my talk with Dawn. Here are just some of the things we talk about:

While your book, The Messages, is the whole detailed story, will you please tell the listeners your story, and then we’ll move into where that brought you?
In your recent memoir, you share the story of how you came to receive a series of what you experienced as divine messages. What were the messages? How will they impact us? And why do you think they came to you, a secular businesswoman?
In your book you share a conversation with your therapist where she said, “You followed your messages, faced your fears, encountered great upheavals, and released a lifetime of stored emotions that, honestly, I’m surprised have not killed you by now., It’s the hero’s journey. you want through the crucible in order to come out the other side and bring back a treasure to the kingdom.”
The onset of your personal journey was marked by high anxiety and depression. We are certainly seeing an increase in both in our culture, do you think those symptoms are a kind of summons or awakening for all of us?
How do we answer the call to a greater life? Why are some called and some aren’t?
In your book you say, “People need to understand how important it is to take responsibility for their own healing. We can avoid so much suffering if we embrace who we really are and learn to love more deeply.” How do we do this?
You also said, “Our spirit is always trying to heal us, deepen our capacity to love, and guide us to where we can best serve. We just have to listen and follow our own path.” I want to talk about “our own path.” Your experience is incredible, but very different from my understanding of how the universe works. My sons are on paths that I can’t fully understand. This idea of our “own path” is really opening me up to allowance, but how do we support each other when our understanding and belief in a certain path differs from how someone else, especially people we love, are unfolding?

CONTACT DAWN OR BUY HER BOOK:

For more information about our guest today Dawn Kohler, or to sign up for one of Dawn’s upcoming workshop, please go to www.DawnKohler.com
To purchase, or read a sample of Dawn’s new book- The Messages, you can find it here on Amazon
To follow dawn on Facebook please go to https://www.facebook.com/dawnkohlerauthor

Here’s a thought…what are you doing in your life to move toward love, to move toward healing? Consider that question this week. I believe, when we all do our little parts, the difference it makes for the whole is monumental, for the whole is all of the parts.

Consider what needs healing in you, and how you can move toward bringing more love into the world, and then take steps to do just that. That IS our best life….

Thanks for leaving a review - I want to share one that was left be a listener:

Loving this podcast!!!

December 5, 2021

I’ve only listened to two episodes and I’m already feeling how much this podcast is positively improving my life. I’m so glad this podcast exists and can’t wait to listen to all of the episodes and reflect on my life and work towards loving my story

by rweisz8 from United States

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Episode 237: Bang Head Here: Interview with Josh Brazier & Hollie Henderson - Part 2Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. Today is Part 2 of Bang Head Here. We’re back with Hollie and Josh, the authors of Bang Head Here, and today we are talking shop. In Part 1 we got their stories, of Hollie’s troubled youth and how it put her on this incredible path, so go back and listen to part 1 to get her full story.

And we got Josh’s story of being a young man in Morocco and working with refugees from West Africa, watching their abuse and deportment that became so formative for him as he built a life of humanitarian work.

Today we want to move on with our conversation with them so we can glean insight from their wisdom.

Hollie and Josh, welcome back to the show.

Let’s dive right back into our conversation and pick up where we left off…..Last episode we finished up with the challenges teens are having with connection, this episodes let’s go to the next obvious question:

Tune into our conversation about:

What keeps parents from connecting with their teens and young adult children?
Why are you able to connect with teens when the parents cannot?
Let’s talk about developing resilience. In your book you talk about the need of accepting that pain is a part of life. You say, “We realized that we didn’t really know what it meant to look at pain without trying to avoid it. In essence we didn’t know how to be ok with not feeling ok.” Let’s talk about this idea of acceptance of all the emotions of living, but then let’s talk about how this is a part of becoming resilient.
How do we fill our resiliency tanks? How do we lay a foundation of resiliency?
Why do young people listen and how do you keep their attention? “In your book you gave some great advice - “Make sure what you say today is living and void of judgement.” “If you can make them feel loved and valued at least once a day, you’ll have a great start.”
How do we deal with and avoid pain? What are healthy ways of dealing with pain?

How to contact Hollie and Josh:

WEBSITE: https://www.joshandhollie.com/

EMAIL: info@joshandhollie.com

FACEBOOK: @joshandholliecoaching

INSTAGRAM: @josh_and_hollie

TWITTER: @JoshHollie2

I’ve spent a lot of time lately thinking about how hard communication is for everyone. When you think about it, we all have different experiences, different triggers, different insecurities, different stories about everything. And with those stories that we are telling ourselves in our own heads, we are creating different realities. In Bang Head Here, Josh and Hollie say, “We know very little about what’s going on her to really know what’s going on. It’s a reminder that we need to keep our initial opinions and perceptions out of the equation until we have had enough time to be curious, ask questions and create different perspectives and possibilities, and to give the benefit of the doubt.”

Your challenge this week is to give someone the benefit of the doubt. When you are hit with frustration or fear in one of your relationships, give them the benefit of the doubt and approach them with that in mind.

So many teens right now seem to struggle so deeply. Suicide rates are so high. Social media doesn’t help. We’re dealing with the first generation being raised on the internet, hitting our heads against that proverbial wall, and finding our way around outcomes we’ve not had to deal with before. Bang Head Here may be a great resource for you.

We’ll see you in two weeks.

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Episode 236: Bang Head Here - Interview with Josh Brazier & Hollie Henderson - Part 1Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast.

What do you get when you bring together a woman who was an at-risk teen, with severe troubles in her family of origin, and a man who on his LDS mission to Morroco worked with thousands of African refugees who were abused by guards and eventually deported, despite all their struggles, to make a better life? What you get is a dynamic duo who have partnered together, after years of their own experience in social work - like violence prevention and humanitarian programs, to help families and troubled youth learn to communicate and solve pain points.

You also get a new book called: Bang Head Here.

Tune in because we are going to get into their stories, as well as the tremendous work they are doing and you’ll definitely learn some things about communicating with your loved ones.

Today’s podcast is about a number of things. It’s about how to communicate in families, especially with at-risk youth. It’s about how to recognize the part we play, as parents and caregivers, in the miscommunications that occur. It’s about sharing the life experiences of two people who have taken some traumatic experiences and turned them into skills to share and help families communicate better. It’s ultimately about using what they know to help others along the path of building better life stories.

We have a couple “guides” with us today. Let me introduce them:

First, Hollie:

Hollie has been training teens and adults for over twenty years. Her training work began in the field of violence prevention and dating violence prevention. Hollie has trained thousands of teens and young adults to recognize the warning signs that lead to violent and deadly relationships.

She is an active parent & teen coach who specializes in working with at-risk teens and young adults and their parents. She understands the struggle and nuances of these relationships primarily because she once was an "at-risk teen" who has found a way to reconnection within a family structure that once was failing.

Josh:

With over 15 years of experience working with youth and family in over a dozen countries, Josh brings a very unique perspective to healing and family culture. Having worked alongside thousands of young people and having been inside hundreds of struggling households, Josh's experience has led to deep and powerful insights that help create a new path of healing.

Having worked for the past decade creating social programs for youth in the US and abroad, Josh brings his 15 years of experience working with youth to help solve real pain points the youth are facing.

Tune in to the audio program to hear about his story serving in Morocco on an LDS mission. In a Spanish provence there was a refugee camp where thousands of West Africans were coming up to create a better life in Europe. He was tasked with building a church and helping the refugees - creating an English speaking branch. He worked with these people building good spaces for them. The refugees had to deal with very difficult psychological issues, abuse from the guards physically, verbally, sexually abused - rape was an issue. The overcrowding was severe. In addition the refugees had the horrible struggles in their travels to actually get to where they were - friends being eaten by wild animals, drinking their own urine to survive on the trail, women having to sell their bodies. He grew very close to these people as he walked with them on this path. One day he got on his boat to go to mainland Spain with his branch, when they were all apprehended by local authorities and his entire branch was deported to their countries of origin. He never saw them again and the trauma of the event caused a great deal of personal struggle. He started his program to honor these people. It became a very meaningful and formative time in his life.

This is the first of a 2-part series highlighting the work you to do, as well as your own personal stories. With two of you, who have very interesting personal stories as well as lots of wisdom to impart to us, we’re going to give this two full episodes.

Let’s start with Josh’s story -

Tune to hear Josh and Hollie's person stories and then we get down to talking shop:

We talk about:

What trends are you seeing that are causing so much disconnection in families?

What are the biggest challenges teens face when it comes to connection?

In your book you say, “Your connection with your loved one is incredibly vital to their emotional stability and their healing process.” I loved this point because sometimes in my own family I wonder if I just need to get out of the way, but it was a reminder that I need to do what I can to make a good connection, because that’s going to help them in their process of growth and healing. In fact, further on in the book you said that we should be asking the question: “What can I do to build a stronger relationship with my loved one so that when she starts to struggle, I am connected enough to help her solve her conflict.”

Part 1 ends here, but in two weeks tune in for the rest of the story. For the answers to more burning questions about communication and connection between teens and parents as they work to write their best life story with the people they love. Share this with someone who needs to hear it.

To order Bang Head Here or to contact Hollie and Josh:

Website: https://www.joshandhollie.com/

Email: info@joshandhollie.com

Facebook: @joshandholliecoaching

Instagram: @josh_and_hollie

Twitter: @JoshHollie2

We’ll see you in two weeks for Part II.

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Episode 235: Best of 2022Welcome to the LYS Podcast. Today’s episode is one of my favorites of the year because it celebrates what you, the listeners, enjoyed most over the past year. I love looking at the top 5 episodes because it tells me about our past year, what resonated with everyone - which episodes lifted your spirits, connected with you, gave you what you wanted to create your best life story.

But I also love this episode because it’s a fun listen - you get to hear little teasers of the favorite shows, and decide which ones you may want to go back and listen to or share.

Click the link to find out the top 5 listener-favorites for the year.

So let’s get started with the top 5 episodes of 2022.

Coming in at #5 is Episode 214 - Walking on Water. In this episode we discuss the deep importance of us of learning to walk with faith, of coming to understand what it is, why it’s important, and how to develop and use it in our own lives. I share clips from 3 excellent women who are expert on the topic and we talk about how we have to have more faith in our why, in ourselves, and in our supportive universal purpose and God, than we have in fear.

In this clip I have just grabbed a little piece from the first of these women. Take a listen.

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Having the faith to take action in your life is a HUGE step to making things happen, but one of the next most powerful steps in creating a peaceful life is the ability to see how our trials help us to grow - to be able to recognize that the shit of life is the fertilizer….

I’ll add in this little thought as well. I was reading a symposium paper on why bad things happen, and there was a wonderful section that talked about how we CANNOT learn to forgive without being hurt and having someone to forgive. We cannot learn patience without having to struggle with the shortage of time, we can’t gain understanding and empathy without knowing a particular pain - someone who has struggled with illness can understand another who struggles with this also. etc.. While our desire to avoid pain is strong, growth, understanding and the development of Christ-like qualities comes only through knowing the opposite side of it.

Which takes us to #4 - Episode 227, my interview with Carrington Smith, the author of Blooming: Finding Gifts in the Shit of Life

Here’s a clip from listener favorite #4: (Tune into the audio program)

You can find the whole episode that includes her numerous personal stories of rape and abuse and how she comes to claim her story. Episode 227.

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Now, What is #3 for 2022? The 3rd most downloaded episode is: Episode 218 - Life Engineered with Rusty Lindquist.

I’m loving this countdown, because each of the top downloads, as it turns out, are all super life tools.

5 - Having the faith to step out and take action

4 - Understanding that our trials and failures are really our greatest tools for building our character and refining us.

And now, in #3 - Creating our life with intention - Engineering the life you want on purpose

Tune into the audio program to hear a clip from my interview with Rusty Lindquist.

To listen to the entire episode, pull up episode 218 on your app or on loveyourstorypodcast.com

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Now we are to #2 - The second most downloaded episode this year was:

Episode 212: Domestic Violence: Interview Brielle Cotterman and Melissa Haenchen

Brielle Cotterman shared her attempted murder story, and Melissa Haenchen of the Utah Domestic Violence Coalition shared tips for escaping a domestic violence situation in this episode.

In this clip you’ll hear part of her story, but the larger episode goes into a lot more detail about grooming, what to watch out for, and how to seek help. Here’s a taste of the #2 favorite for 2022.

To listen to the entire episode, find episode 212 and listen as these two women share so many good pointers gained from their own experiences - with Brielle having experienced it herself, and with Melissa working with so many woman with so many stories.

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We are finally to #1! The most downloaded show of 2022 was: Episode 211: Healthy Co-Parenting - my interview with Jae Behrman and Amanda Louder.

This episode was fascinating because it’s not very often that you get to speak with both a husband and a wife, who have divorced, and who take responsibility for their parts in the dissolution of the marriage. It was such an interesting interview because Amanda was very clear in calling out Jae’s abuses, but Jae was incredible in claiming them, learning from them, and sharing how they had both grown. No Jerry Springer drama….though it certainly could have been.

Before I share the clip, let me just say, I love the topic of this episode because taking about healthy co-parenting is not something you hear very often, and yet it is a topic that should get a lot more air time because so many of us need to know how to do it, and need to do better at it. So, definitely take in the whole episode if you missed this one, especially if you co-parent in a divorce situation.

This number 1 episode with Jae and Amanda stands out because of their honesty with the audience and with each other. It stands out because we are talking about something that doesn’t get talked about enough - healthy co-parenting, and it stands out because it’s so unique to have people claiming their responsibility for breaking things, and being able to share appreciation for growth in relationships that have caused so much pain. Jae and Amanda set a great example for all who do or will walk the path of broken marriage and co-parenting. Thanks to them, and thanks to all who have been on the show this year!! I’m deeply grateful to all of you for what I have learned and for your courage.

As we end the show - I want to thank YOU for being here. Really! Thank you for sharing this time with me.

And, thanks to all who have hopped on and left a review for the show. I appreciate you very much. Please do now, if you haven’t. I want to share a review we got from jla1206 from United States. JLA 1206 says:

Title: Lori creates a safe place for all of us

I was not always been comfortable with my story. This podcast has helped me see the beauty, depth, joy, richness, and compassion available to me regardless of how hard my story seemed at times. I love every interview and insight offered. And feel like Lori does an exceptional job at creating a safe place for all of us to discover and fall in love with our stories. Thank you Lori for sharing your gifts with us!

Have a wonderful close out of 2022 and a wonderful New Year! A quick reminder about LIFE - Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday - the 21 Life Connection Challenges. If you still need Christmas gifts, this book is more than a gift - it’s a path to living life with more connection, self-care and possibility, and what could be more wonderful than that? It spells out all the 21 Challenges - 21 Life Hacks that are fun to implement, but provide you with so many tips for living your life on purpose. You can find it on Amazon or go to LoveYourStoryPodcast.com for a link that will take you there!!

Please come back and join us in 2023 for another year of brave stories, insights, lessons, struggles and successes. Happy New Year!

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Episode 234: Your Extraordinary Starts Now - Interview Shannon Bahrke-HappeWelcome to the Love Your Story podcast.

Do you remember Shannon Bahrke Happe? Her 12-year career on the U.S. Ski Team, which brought her to the Olympics. Check out this list of her accomplishments:

Member of 3 Olympic Teams (2002, 2006, 2010)

Bronze Medal in Vancouver, CAN, 2010

Silver Medal in Salt Lake City, UT, 2002

World Championships:

Member of 6 World Championship Teams

World Cups:

Member of U.S. Freestyle Ski Team for 12 years (1998-2010)

On "A" Team (top 10 in the world or higher) all 12 years

Over World Cup title, 2003

7 World Cup wins

26 World Cup podiums

U.S. National Championships:

6 U.S. titles

Geez.. Well, today she’s here to reveal how she overcame obstacles, doubts, and fears to ultimately earn her 2 Olympic Medals. Shannon will also share how the same mindset, tools, and strategies directly correlate to how EVERYONE can execute them to achieve their maximum potential!

Click the link to listen to our discussion and to feel her energy.

Today’s show is titled - Your Extra-Ordinary Starts Now! And Shannon Bahrke Happe is here to talk about how she did it.

Welcome Shannon!

Tune in to hear our discussion about the following:

As always I want to start with your story. I listened to your TED talk where you talked about how average you felt you were, and yet here you are with a 12-year career on the US Ski Team and 2 Olympic medals. How did you go from average person to Olympic medal winner?

As I mentioned, I’ve titled this episode: Your extraordinary starts now - because that’s what you teach. So teach us a little about how to be extraordinary.

Great things take work. A sense of entitlement will NOT help you accomplish much. I worry about the upcoming generation who often think if something is hard that it’s not meant for them. Let’s talk about how to develop mental toughness.

You have the “Always do 1 More” adage. Can you teach us about that?

You talk about envisioning the end goal with our senses. What does that look like? How have you used that? - a little manifesting hack here.

Every day we have hundreds of choices - actions, reactions, these choices matter because they change the outcome. How do we “choose to win” in these small daily choices.

Turn your biggest challenges and roadblocks into opportunities - what does this look like? I love putting this one out there. This is an important tool to understand when you are mired in a really tough space.

Final thoughts on living extraordinary lives on purpose?

To Contact Shannon Bahrke-Happe

ShannonBahrke.com

TeamEmpowerHour.com

(713) 670-4047

MogulMama@mac.com

Let’s end with two quotes:

”Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're probably right." - Henry Ford
Albert Einstein said, “In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”

You only have one life to live, so why not make it something fabulous and unforgettable? As a 20-something I had a poem on my wall called If I had My Life to Live Over. The author was talking about dancing in the rain and eating chocolate cake for breakfast and worrying less and celebrating more. I think we could all stand to take a moment to stop, step out of the rat race, take a breath and decide how we want to make a difference, how we want to be grateful and powerful and what it means to us, individually to live an ordinary live or an extraordinary life. Sometime it’s just small and simple things that make a huge difference. It is a path of mindset shifts, of positive talk shifts, of a choice to do one more thing, a choice to keep at it, a choice to follow your intuition not your fear, and before you know it, life is big and bold and extraordinary.

Your challenge for this week is to take that moment. Step away for 30 minutes from the rat race and take a deep breath, maybe sit alone in a coffee shop and nurse your favorite tea or cocoa while you think; maybe walk a forest trail, or get up early and have the morning to yourself so you can take stock - but do that, decide what small and simple thing you can add on your path to creating the life you REALLY want, on purpose.

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Episode 233: Little Bites of Bravery - Life HackNovember is a set of 3 episodes called 15-minute life hacks. I’m calling the November nudges. Each episode is a quick reminder of a life tool to inspire and help you connect to the world around you as you create your best life story on purpose.

Today is week 3 and we’re all about courage. It’s called Little Bites of Bravery. This life hack is about how to tackle the scarier, bigger things in our lives, and Jessica Burrell, owner of Life Amplified is with me for all 3 episodes.

Come with us for a quickie. This one’s about taking it one step at a time.

Tune into the audio program for my discussion with Jess about the importance of being brave - even in small increments.

We talk about things like:

What is Bravery? — the quality or state of having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty.

I first heard the saying “Little bites of bravery,” from Lady Gaga on her interview with Oprah on May 31, 2022; Your Life In Focus Tour

Lady Gaga started the Born This Way Foundation, (Foundation to support mental health) they encourage courage with “Little Bites of Bravery”

She said, “Just be a little braver every day. If you feel like you can’t do something, just go take a little bite of bravery. I promise you before you know it, you’re taking a big ol’ bite of bravery.”

Be Brave for 10 seconds. What can I step into for 10 seconds? Think about that...

A couple quotes we like on this topic:

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

― Nelson Mandela

“It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.”

― Theodore Roosevelt

Tune in while I tell the story: The Giant

I found this story in the book -Lead with a Story, by Paul Smith. (American Management Association, 2012, Pg 144-145)

Once upon a time, in a land far away, there lived a very bright and trustworthy young woman. Having learned all she could in her own village, she set out to explore the neighboring lands. After some time, she came upon a great city surrounded by a huge castle wall. “Surely I can learn something new from the people here,” she thought to herself. But after entering the city, she found its people too frightened and depressed to share any wisdom. “Why is everyone here so sad?” she asked. One trembling citizen answered, “Today is the day the giant comes.”

“Giant?” she scoffed in disbelief. “There’s no such thing as giants.”;

“Oh, but there is,” came the response. “He stands over 10 feet tall! So tall, he can’t rightly be called a man at all.”

Skeptical, but intrigued, the young woman pleaded, “Tell me more of this giant.”

So the frightened citizen nervously explained to her, “Every year, on the same day, and at the same hour, he comes down from the mountain where he lives. He stands at the edge of the clearing and yells, ‘Send out your bravest man for me to fight, or I will knock down these walls and kill everyone inside!’ Each year, one poor valiant soul steps out to face the giant and there he stands, mesmerized by the giant’s enormity and the impossible task ahead. Every year the giant slays the poor warrior where he stands before he even draws his sword. The warrior doesn’t even move. It’s as if he is hypnotized.”

Eyes wide with fascination, the woman begs, “Can I see this giant?”

“The only way to see the giant,” the citizen explained “is to face him in battle.”

“Eager to learn, the woman responded, “Then that is what I will do.”

Shortly thereafter the voice of the giant rang through the village and the woman stepped out...

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Episode 232: Be an Encourager - Life HackWelcome to the LYS Podcast

November is a set of 3 episodes called 15-minute life hacks. I’m calling the November nudges. Each episode is a quick reminder of a life tool to inspire and help you connect to the world around you as you create your best life story on purpose.

Today is week 2 and we’re all about cheerleading. This life hack is about Being and Encourager and Jessica Burrell, owner of Life Amplified will be here for all 3 episodes.

Come with me for a quickie. This one’s about lifting as we go.

When I started my Next Level training - that was my emotional intelligence training back in 2016, I had no idea what it would entail. I was there because a friend suggested the training for my own personal growth. I’m not here today to list all the things I gained, but one of those things was a personal coach. My coaches, across my program, not only called me out on my fears and complaints, they not only answered my hard questions, they were also cheerleaders. When I said, “It’s too hard,” or “I can’t do it.” they said, “If you say so.” And, I automatically knew it was up to me to change my attitude. But when I was in the struggle to pull up courage, to face fear and self doubt, they would look at me with complete and utter faith. They would help me envision outcomes and create belief. When I doubted, they did not. Oh my heart! What an incredible gift. To find people who will believe and lift you, support you when you need it most.

Join us for the audio program where we talk - short and sweet about the importance of encouraging each other.

Some of the things we talk about:

“You can borrow my belief in you until you can believe it for yourself.” - Jessica’s friend.

We don’t do life alone, and we have chances everyday to make a big difference in people’s lives - in the lives of our families and friends. These moments of cheerleading can make a huge difference in each other’s lives, can cement relationships. We can make history when we cheerlead at the crossroads of people’s dreams.

I heard a story the other day of a little gal that carried glitter in her pockets. When her mom was doing laundry she asked her why there was glitter in her pockets. “Mom,” she said, “you never know when someone needs to be celebrated.”

Clifton Strength Finders: Jessica’s strength is WOO. How many of your have the gift of Winning Others Over by supporting them.

Reminder - in my book LIFE - Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday, the 21-Challenges, Challenge 12 is - Give someone in your SOI hardy encouragement for something they are doing. Do what you can to forward THEIR agenda.

Sometimes this is simple like leaving a podcast review for a podcast you like. Maybe it’s showing up to a ribbon cutting or kick-off party, maybe it’s calling to tell them you know they’ve got what it takes to make their dream happen. Think about the other person, what they are trying to accomplish - how you can support them and what you can contribute to helping them move forward. By small and simple things.

Whether it’s glitter in your pocket to throw for those spontaneous celebrations, or really standing for someone’s dream. Whether it’s a quick phone call to say, “you can do it,” or creating a killer play-list for someone with all the “take the world by storm” songs, let’s be cheerleaders.

Of course your challenge this week is to find someone in your SOI that you can cheer on. That you can celebrate. That you can shore up their foundation when they doubt.

LET’S DO THIS! Have a great two weeks, until we meet again.

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Episode 231: Life Hack - Clearing Conversations: 5 Steps to Clearing Up Miscommunication November is a set of 3 episodes called 15-minute life hacks. I’m calling the November nudges. Each episode is a quick reminder of a life tool to inspire and help you connect to the world around you as you create your best life story on purpose.

Today is week 1 and we’re bring you 5 actionable steps for clearing up misunderstandings. This life hack is about communication, and Jessica Burrell, owner of Life Amplified will be here for all 3 episodes.

The other day I was at a music festival and most everyone was busy enjoying the music, but one young man walked by the outskirts of the main body screaming into his phone. He REALLY wanted to be heard by the party on the other side.

Communication vies for the top rung on the ladder of human struggles. We want so badly to be heard and understood, as does each person we interact with. But we all have different backgrounds, different stories in our minds, different insecurities that trigger hot buttons, different experiences. We all create different stories in our minds about what is going on. This makes clear communication extremely challenging.

Add in things like text and email that allow things to be taken out of context. It’s a wonder we are not all constantly misunderstanding. Or, maybe we are.

Join the audio for my discussion with Jessica Burrell, owner of Amplify Your Life as we discuss the 5 steps of having a clearing conversation.

Step 1 - Tell the event without emotion

Step 2 - The stories I made up about myself were...

Step 3 - The stories I made up about you/institution/world were...

Step 4 - I acknowledge my stories and what they created...

Step 5 - In the future I commit to...

We share examples about a misunderstanding between Jessica and I; a misunderstanding between Jessica and one of her teammates, we talk about how we create stories in our own minds…. This is one of the most important and self aware aspects of this process.

We can all use clearing conversations multiple times a week. We can use them everybody - kids, friends, associates, parents, etc. This is a person-to-person skill set. Ya know, communication skills should have been taught in public schools, but since they aren’t we get to acquire our own communication skills along our individual paths. This one is golden.

Your challenge this week is to have a clearing conversation with someone you have a misunderstanding with. Just try it. Let them know you’re trying a new format and have them work with you.

I promise - it’s worth it. Please share this with someone - maybe even the someone you want to have the clearing conversation with. We’ll see you in two weeks for the next 15-minute life hack.

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Episode 230: Your Story Matters - Interview Amy Chandler Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast.

Every once in awhile I find another story practitioner who preaches the same truths I teach. Birds of a feather - another who understands this simple but often overlooked idea of how much our stories matter, how powerful we can be when we realize the power in our stories, and our ability to write them with intention.

Today is one of those days. Amy Chandler is an entrepreneur who helps people become an active agent in their story. She is the founder of a non profit called My Story Matters, that started forming about 15 years ago - one chapter at a time. She understands her mission is to empower people with the tools and resources they need to write their own story. As they do so, they choose to claim and create the future they want to achieve. She knows that within each of us is a unique skill set designed to help us achieve far more than we realize.

Tune into the audio program for our talk - because Amy has been to correctional facilities, in elementary schools, in high schools, all over the place helping people tell their stories, and I think you’ll like hearing about her adventures and seeing what they tell you about the importance of your own story.

I asked Amy questions like:

Amy, let’s start off with what you do in My Story Matters. What exactly do you do and who do you do it with?

In your work, what stories can you share of watching people step into their power as they own their stories?

Let’s talk about intentional living. What is your take on that - specifically about healing? Share any specific story of this happening?

You talk about claiming and creating a life of miracles. What does that mean to you?

One of the quotes you often share is “When we give voice and energy to our war stories they consume us. When we give voice and energy to our champion story it transforms us.” This sounds a lot like what I call - THE STORIES WE TELL OURSELVES. Let’s talk about this a bit.

I’d really like to hear about what you call, "dealing with life’s detours through the growth zone”

Let’s end with some stories of transformation that you have witnessed as the people you have worked with have stepped up to find, tell, accept their stories.

Find Amy:

amy@mystorymatters.org

http://www.mystorymatters.org/ (www.mystorymatters.org)

http://www.safeharborscourse.com/ (www.safeharborscourse.com)

@mystorymatters

Why do our stories matter? I think they matter on multiple levels. They matter to us individually because they are literally the playing out of our lives. They matter to us because we want to have adventure, fun, love, accomplishment, satisfaction, growth. They matter to us because if our lives don’t matter, the foundation of purpose starts to dissolve. Our stories also matter from a simple space of empowerment. When you know who you are and the power you have to create just what you want, you realize you are powerful, you matter, and that ties us into why our stories matter to each other. Our stories matter to each other because we are all in the same giant play. Our characters interact, we benefit from one another, we share with one another, we hurt one another sometimes, we set off domino effects everyday that matter to many people (in kind and positive ways as well as cruel and difficult ways), we shine a light on the way ahead as we share our stories and support one another. No one does life alone, we all need each other, and like it or not, acknowledge it or not, our lives are woven together like a tapestry. We are almost inseparable. Our living, our loving, our growing, our falling down, our being, matters deeply to the world.

Challenge for the week: Take the opportunity to let someone in your life know how much their life affects you.

Share this episode with just one person this week - more if you’re willing to go the extra mile. And remember that Your...

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Episode 229: Mothering with Intention- Interview Lara Johnson

Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. The other day I had a woman approach me and confide that she was a focused and successful career woman before her children, and that she struggles with being with her kids all the time. It felt like her career was fading away and her kids did not afford her the success she felt in the corporate world. She was panicking and felt a bit like she was drowning. We talked a bit about seasons of life, about investing our time in the things we most value, in living our best, personal lives.

Today we are diving into this topic with an expert. Lara Johnson has been married for 14 years, has 3 beautiful tyrants, 2 spicy cats, and a baby on the way. She has the best job in the world helping moms live their lives ON purpose and WITH purpose.

In her free time she likes to grow and kill plants, play with pretty rocks, awkwardly dance in the kitchen, read too many books, and spend time with God, nature, and her family.

As a speaker, podcast host, writer, consultant, and coach, she has helped thousands of moms be in a better mood, play more with their kids, manage their homes better, get their to-do lists done, and answer their purpose with fire in their Souls. Stay tuned for my talk with her and how mothering/ and apply this to fathering as well, can be less stressful and more of what you want.

Can I start with a worry I have? I am always so honored to be a part of sharing the sacred stories of people’s lives. But so often, the triumph comes after the tragedy, the struggle, maybe always….there is no triumph in sitting around and watching TV or in a story that focuses on the easy times of our lives. Therefore, I find that our episodes are often focused on something depressing - an eating disorder, a divorce, mental illness, sexual assault, death, domestic violence….this sounds like dark list, and I can just imagine people saying, geez, I don’t want to tune in to another depressing story, (even though they have happy endings of learning.) So, I’ve tried really hard this year to include lots of positive episodes that focus on creating our life stories on purpose, like the Hero on a Mission series, and noticing and focusing on our happiness in the Practical Happiness episode, or how to Engineer our Lives on purpose, in the Life Engineered episode. Well, today is another of those supportive, live-on-purpose episodes, and this one is about motherhood. How to Mother on purpose in our own unique ways.

Tune in to hear my interview with Lara Johnson where we talk about ideas like:

Lara - first tell us what you do and why you’re qualified to talk to us about this topic.

Motherhood can be a challenge - those of us lucky enough to be mothers have found our way through in different ways. Some moms love babies, some love teens, some love toddlers, some want many kids, some want only one or two, and as we learn and navigate this, we learn who we are and boy is this a workshop for patience and love and joy and things you never imagined. But like all things, we can live reactively or intentionally. Let’s talk about what a reactive MOM life looks like and what a MOM on purpose life looks like.

We all come with different talents and abilities. You say, “Your kids don’t need the best, they just need you.” Do you think our children need specifically what we have to offer?

You have something called Discover Your Purpose - how does that work?

How to Contact Lara Johnson:E: lara@larajohnsoncoaching.com

W: http://larajohnsoncoaching.com/ (larajohnsoncoaching.com)

IG: @lara.t.johnson

Motherhood is the most influential role played on this planet. It is the creation and nurture of new lives, new hearts, new mindsets. It IS, after all, the creation and nurture of people. So this really big role is given to women - regular women who come with baggage and weaknesses...

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Episode 228: The Stewardship Principle - Interview Ganel-Lyn Condie Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast.

“When was the last time you experienced a major shift in your perspective? A moment when you learned something that changed your paradigm so significantly that the way you once saw things is forever altered with a new viewpoint?” So begins the book, “The Stewardship Principle,” by Ganel-Lyn Condie

Tune into the audio program because today Ganel-Lyn is on the show to take us deeper into what that paradigm shift is, and I for one, needed the shift.

Ganel-Lyn Condie is a popular motivational speaker – she inspires with her unique honesty, authenticity and spirit. She is dedicated to her family, faith, and inspiring others. Ganel-Lyn has experienced healing from a major chronic illness and is the mother to two miracle children. After the heart-breaking suicide of her 40 year old sister, Ganel-Lyn is constantly working towards suicide prevention. Ganel-Lyn lives with an open heart and feels passionate about sharing principles that will empower others to live life with more joy. She is a regular television/radio guest, and hosts the popular shows REAL TALK CFM and THE MIDDLE. Ganel-Lyn’s talks and books have now encouraged thousands of people all over the world.

Connect with Ganel-Lyn:

Facebook - Real Talk: https://www.facebook.com/groups/realtalkcfm/?multi_permalinks=775617246659046&notif_id=1621479650343120&notif_t=feedback_reaction_generic&ref=notif

Website: www.ganellyn.com

Instagram - The Middle: https://www.instagram.com/third.hour/

Buy her book the Stewardship Principe: https://ganellyn.com/products/

Click to listen to the interview:

Here are some of my main take-aways from this concept: A. Everything is on loan to us from God, so we can talk with him about how he wants us to handle our stewardships. B. Success is about our process and efforts, not necessarily about the outcome. C. Our stewardships - the good and the bad are tailor made for us, so don’t bother with comparison. D. This whole process of stewarding is what the path to being more like God looks like.

This week's challenge: What are you struggling with right now in your life - a child? a relationship? a health issue? Your challenge this week is to shift your mindset from owning this to one of stewardship over it. How does this lighten the load? How does this bring hope?

Thanks for being with us. Please share this episode - it’s a couple clicks on your phone to message it to someone you know, and spread the love, joy and understanding around creating your best life on purpose.

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Episode 227: Blooming - Interview Carrington Smith Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. The most beautiful flowers and plants bloom with fertilizer, water, and light.

Today’s guest, Carrington Smith, says in her book, “I had been told to shut up and not tell my story. It makes people feel uncomfortable. But the truth is that my power, my secret weapons, my gifts are IN my stories. That is where I discovered the authentic me - where I discovered the gifts, the buried treasure - in all the shit (which turns out to be fertilizer). It is in the debris of life, in the fire, that I found out who I was and what I was made of.

Tune in for my interview with Carrington to hear her story and the process of blooming.

Carrington Smith is the author of https://t.sidekickopen84.com/s3t/c/5/f18dQhb0S7kF8bG4RGW2fvRnN59hl3kW7_k2841CX6NGW36PLmz1FVXgfVs7zDQ3smq6Lf197v5Y04?te=W3R5hFj4cm2zwW4mKLS-3F4FX-W3T1k8843Tw4hW3_VrY81JxwY5w1LC3nWb2k2&si=8000000020780700&pi=9dcf5186-a461-4c49-8a43-1735f5f301c2 (Blooming: Finding Gifts in the Shit of Life). Despite being born into a legacy of wealth, life was not so kind to her. Carrington has survived childhood abuse, sexual assault, two divorces, mountains of debt, religious manipulation, and the loss of close friends. In her bestselling, debut memoir, she combines her wit with wisdom to share her journey from trauma to triumph. Today, with a shift in mindset, she lives a life filled with joy, opportunity, and purpose.

We talk about her story at home - Everyone’s story starts at home. You spend a number of chapters giving your background with your family, the incident with you father and the bike ride, the toilet incident at church, your mother’s response to your rape - these stories set a scene of a childhood that was traumatic and unsupportive. Can you share some of these most pivotal stories with us and then let’s talk about what gifts these held for you.

Let’s talk about the importance of owning our stories. In your experience, how did you do this? What was the power behind owning your whole messy story?

CONNECT WITH CARRINGTON

Carrie@CarringtonLegal.com

Carrington-Smith.com

+1(512)627-7467

in/CarrieSmithTrabue

@CarringtonATX

In each of the interviews on the love your story show, our purpose is to share the stories of our lives and learn from one another how we got through them - that’s what stories do, they inspire and teach. Carrington’s book more or less sums up what we are doing here on every show - listening and learning how to bloom despite the hard stuff. But I think we’re far enough along here to note that in the end, we can really thrive BECAUSE of the hard stuff we go through. We learn who we are as our character unfolds and we learn and grow. We become strong because we had to. We become empathetic because we now understand things we didn’t know before the fertilizer got shoveled our way. We become resilient because we learned to bounce back and regroup. We bloom BECAUSE of the fertilizer. It’s a rough game, and it’s one we often want to tap out of, but understanding how it’s played, can help a lot when the growth spurts happen.

Your challenge this week is to choose one of your past challenges - something really tough you went through, and to journal at least 1 page about what you gained from that experience. Just let it free flow as you write, and by the end you’ll be able to dig through and find the gifts.

Have a beautiful week and share this, right now, with someone in your life who is struggling. We’ll let the show remind them that there are gifts to be found in the hard stuff.

See you in two weeks.

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Episode 226: Life is Hard, But I'll Be Okay - Interview Johnny Sirpilla Welcome to the LYS Podcast. Today’s story is of Johnny Sirpilla, his wife Susan, their struggle with infertility, the death of their triplets, and the power of hope, coming through pain, and learning to live with gratitude.

Johnny Sirpilla, founder of Encourage, LLC, and author of Life is Hard, But I’ll Be OK, he is a professional speaker to businesses, communities and universities, about managing thoughts, leading yourself to productive choices and framing each challenge in your life as an opportunity for self-reflection and growth.

Right up our alley.

I want to start with a couple reviews of Johnny Sirpilla’s book - Life is Hard but I’ll Be Ok.

Dr. Nido Qubein, President of High Point University, says…

“He has written a book to help anyone deal head-on with any struggle they face so they can become more resilient, eventually heal, and find beauty in the hardship, the silver lining in a dark cloud.”

Srini Pillay, M.D., Harvard-trained psychiatrist, said,

“Johnny Sirpilla takes us on a journey through adversity and reminds us that anyone who is falling apart can put themselves together again at a higher level. With a heartwarming style of writing, he reminds us to find the blessings in our struggles and to explore our shadow selves so that we can live in a more whole and self-forgiving way. Touched by magic himself, Sirpilla will remind you that your own magic is more within your reach than you think. A profoundly touching page turner, this book is a must read.”

Tune in to hear my conversation with Johnny as he shares his story and what he's learned.

To contact Johnny:

johnny@encourage33.com

encourage33.com

LinkedIn - Johnny-Sirpilla

In a talk by Elder Larry S. Kacher, a Seventy in the LDS Church, called Ladder of Faith, Elder Kacher illustrates what we’ve seen in the Sirpilla’s story. (The Sirpilla family are members of the Catholic church.)

He asks the question, “How will life’s challenges affect our faith in Jesus Christ? And what effect will our faith have on the joy and peace we experience in this life?”

Johnny’s story, and their faith, is a prime example of this - choosing faith has allowed them to find peace.

Elder Kacher goes on, “Accepting God’s will in place of our own is key to finding joy no matter the circumstances….our faith in him, can and will, guide us through the complexities of life. Indeed we find that there is simplicity on the other side of life’s complexities as we remain steadfast in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope.”

This story Johnny has shared today, is one of resilience and the power of managing thoughts to seek gratitude when life is hard - I hope you have found a light in his experience that will shine on your own path. Remember that though life can be hard, you can be okay.

Please share this episode with someone you think would benefit from hearing it. We’ll see you in two weeks for the next episode of the Love Your Story podcast.

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Episode 225: Wonders and Miracles - Interview Liza Lawrence Albert Einstein said, “There are only two ways to live your life: as though nothing is a miracle, or as though everything is a miracle.”

Miracles - what are they? I suggest that miracles are things that we don’t yet know how to explain. They are events or happenings that go beyond what we can do for ourselves. We often beg for miracles, search for miracles, or manifest miracles by our faith.

One thing I found really interesting about Christ’s ministry, is that before he did any miracle he said to the person, “Be it unto you according to your faith.” I find that fascinating. According to this, I draw the conclusion that first one must believe before miracles occur.

Today I’ve invited Liza Laurence to the show - she is the host of the Wonders and Miracles podcast, to discuss her thoughts on miracles and some of the incredible ones she has heard, and then I’m going to share clips from 3 past podcasts, where my interviewees share some pretty miraculous experiences.

Tune into the audio program to hear it straight from the people who are kind and brave enough to share their personal experiences.

Do you believe God can do miracles? Do you believe you can create miracles because you believe strongly in a course of action? That belief in God, in ourselves, in the power of Universal law working for our good, despite our current limited understanding, seems to be crucial in the manifestation of miracles. Today’s discussion brings awareness to some unusual, even inexplicable things that create awe and wonder. Magic.

Let’s welcome Liza Laurence, the host of the Wonders and Miracles podcast.

Join us to hear Liza answer questions like:

What do you think is the definition of a miracle?
How many miracles have you shared with the guests on your podcast? How many episodes do you have up?
What are your top 3 miracles you were most awed in hearing?
Why do you do an entire podcast about miracles?

To contact Liza or listen to her podcast:

wondersandmiraclespodcast@gmail.com,

Podcast: Wonders and Miracles - www.wondersandmiracles.com

As I re-listen to past podcasts I notice miracles. Personal miracles that go on in people’s lives as they create, as they go through tough times, as they heal. Today I wanted to share a couple clips -

In episode 182, my interview with Richard Paul Evans, we talk about just a few of the miraculous events that happened as the book Christmas Box came together, but one of the sections I found most interesting was the way these little orbs of light followed him around as he spoke with people -

Tune in for clips from that interview.

The first year of the show we did a feature on the search for Annie Schmidt, daughter of Jon Schmidt from the popular group, The Piano Guys. I spoke with 3 people for this 3 part series, on of which was her mother. To say that miracles abounded in this search for her missing daughter is an understatement, but today I share one clip where Annie spoke to her mother after her death. (For the whole incredible story go to http://loveyourstorypodcast.com (loveyourstorypodcast.com) and listen to episodes 73-75.

Tune in to hear miracles from this search.

In episode 187, Deb Atella shares her own story of a lost loved one coming back to help her when she was hospitalized with a life and death hemorrhage.

Tune in to hear her story.

I think there are lots of kinds of miracles - Miracles we manifest with our faith, miracles that are just a hug from God - tender mercies, the miracles of angels around us, and serendipity moments. If you want to listen to more miracles, episode 10 of this podcast shared a whole pile of serendipitous and miraculous experiences. Go back and get the goods!

When you stop and focus on miracles, you can’t help but feel that God and the universe have your back. We begin to realize how little we truly...

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Episode 224: Practical Happiness - Interview with Pamela Gail JohnsonWelcome to the Love Your Story podcast. Let me start with a story: A Native American story tells about how god gathered his animal advisers together to help him decide where to hide the Secret to a Happy Life from humans. He first asked the Eagle, “Where shall I put it?” The Eagle answered, “I shall hide it at the top of the highest mountain. Man will never find it there.” God considered this but decided against it. “One day, Man will go there,” he said. Next, he asked the Clam, “Where shall I put it, little Clam?” “I will hide it at the bottom of the deepest ocean,” the Clam answered. This seemed like a better idea, but the Lord hesitated again. “Man will go there someday,” he said after some thought. Then the wise Owl stepped forward. “Though I regretfully cannot take it there myself,” he intoned, “perhaps you ought to hide the secret on the moon.” After considering this, God finally came to the same conclu- sion as before: “No. There, too, Man shall go.” After some period of reflection, the humble Opossum came forward. “Perhaps,” he said, so softly that he could barely be heard, “the secret should be hidden in the heart of Man.” There was an awed silence among the animals. Finally, the Lord spoke: “Yes, cunning Opossum, that will be the last place Man will look.” This story reminds us of something that we already know but are often reluctant to embrace: Our happiness is inside us. The challenge is knowing how to find it. This story is shared from the introduction of the book, Practical Happiness, by Pamela Gail Johnson who is here today with me on the show. Tune into the audio program where we are talking about personal happiness. The individual nature of it all, and what makes YOU happy. Today on the show I have the founder of the Society of Happy People, and the author of Practical Happiness here to support us in intentionally creating our own happy spaces. Pamela Gail Johnson has helped people understand, expand, and rethink their happiness mindset since 1998, when she found the Society of Happy People. As a mostly happy person, she asked herself, where are all the happy people? She decided they needed their own tribe. Are you one of her tribe, or would you like to be? Yes, of course, who doesn’t want to be part of the happiness people tribe. She has started 3 happiness holidays and her new book “Practical Happiness: Four principles to Improve Your Life.” Tune in to the audio program to hear my conversation with Pamela. As I’ve considered happiness in my own life - I have my own 4 ingredients to happiness: I have determined that happiness is comprised of 1. purpose - without purpose most people are unhappy and unmoored. And, 2. people - we need healthy personal relationships. 3. Gratitude, where we don’t ignore all the great blessings in our lives. Gratitude makes you feel like the universe has your back. 4. Fun - whatever is fun for you. Our brains are hardwired to quickly recognize and help us get away from things that can hurt us. This goes back to our caveman days, when we had to protect ourselves from gigantic, hairy, scary creatures and such. Our brains evolved to help us recognize danger and keep us safe. That’s why it’s always easier, and maybe even more natural, for us to see what’s wrong before we can see what’s right. Having a positive outlook usually requires a conscious effort until it becomes a habit or our go-to mindset. Practice this mindset. Look for what is going right. Your challenge for this week is to look for what is going right in your life right now. Take 5 minutes, sometime this week, and write a list of the things that make you smile. Then, I want you to put the list someplace where you can see it regularly, and make sure that you’re including those happy things in your days. Look for the good, acknowledge...

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Episode 223: Bitter or Better Rumi said, “The wound is the place the light enters you.”

I love this gorgeous truth, the poetry of it, the truth in it, the hope of it.

In our times of suffering and trial it is often hard to see the purpose. Instead it’s the “why me?’ It’s the visceral jerking away from pain, it’s the scream. But if we realize that this too shall pass, and in its wake will be strength and color we don’t yet understand, we can hold to hope.

Join me today for insight from a war hostage, a woman who was hit by a car and had her leg paralyzed, and from a man who recovered from a truly traumatic childhood into an engineer of lives, too see how the wound is the place that the light enters you, and the importance of trusting the process.

I want to start with 4 truths today:

You can’t get past the past until you accept it.

The process of growth is pushing past one wall after another, and often those walls are painful.

Failure is feedback. It teaches us what not to do.

Don’t stare at the error too long. Move past it, move along and use the information.

Create a supportive story to go along with the learning: Which story is better?

A. I was treated unfairly and I feel shame about not being enough, or not succeeding as I expected, or God is unjust and cruel, or life is a bitch and then you die, or …

B. I learned _____________. I trust there is a reason for this experience.

I was listening to Oprah’s Interview, on her podcast Super Soul, with Elizabeth Gilbert. I have to say i was really impressed with Elizabeth and how centered she was. So calm, and the attitude was incredible. Let me tell you why -

Oprah was commenting on the the space in Elizabeth’s life - She’s the one that wrote “Eat, Love, Pray” - when she left her husband and got news that her best friend had a lethal cancer, and she discovered in that moment that she actually was in love with her best friend. She went to her bedside to walk the path of death with her, which was heart wrenching on multiple levels, but the mindset that Elizabeth had was just inspiring. She said, “I came here to live a life fully, so I will take all of it. I came here to do this, I want the whole ride.” She said, “Even in the worst moments I knew this is exactly where I’m supposed to be.”

In the worst times she looks at, “What am I being asked to learn or do right now?” “Why is this being offered to me in this amount of pain?”

Her willingness to feel deeply, to feel the whole range and depth of emotions that living provides for us was so brave. So advanced.

Most of us shy away from pain. We don’t want that range of emotions - I do for sure, but listening to her courage at facing all there was to get out of the experience of living, I was just impressed. I wanted to follow her around and become her disciple.

Something else I really got out of this was that she didn’t try to blame the hard times on God, or question her own worthiness because of her struggle, she simply accepted it as the process of living, and granted herself huge amounts of mercy. No shame in the process of —-I landed here in the wrong marriage or the wrong job, or here we go again, or ..… She says, Go to mercy for yourself, not to shame or judgement, and keep doing your best.

She pointed out that we don’t have to know how to get through a thing, but you square your shoulders and you walk through it. You are good enough. YOU CAN DO IT.

I can’t say I have ever heard a braver approach to living - to be able to honestly embrace the whole emotional spectrum as an experiential learning space.

I’m going to share 3 clips from 3 people who have learned, through their own struggle, that the dark days hold gifts.

Tune into the audio program to hear from:

Episode 218 - Rusty Lindquist: Life Engineered

Sister Susan H. Porter, First Councilor in the Primary General Presidency in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints...

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Episode 222: Hero On A Mission, Part 2- With Jessica BurrellDonald Miller says, in his book, Hero On A Mission, “Life is a beautiful experience and we get to participate in making it so….the idea that fate writes our story is a lie. We do not suffer fate, we partner with fate to write a story generated from our own God-given creativity and agency. And that story can be more than interesting, it can be meaningful.” Part 2 in this 2-part series puts Jessica Burrell and host Lori Lee in the hot seat to discuss when they have sourced all these energy types: Let’s have a little fun today and talk about what these roles look like in our own lives - Jessica and I will be the guinne pigs. As we do this we can start to be more aware of what energy we are sourcing in our lives, and with that awareness, create life stories with more intention and understanding. Hero energy is where you take responsibility for your responses to life. A hero moves forward. When have you been sourcing Hero energy? Listen to the audio program to hear both responses. Victim energy is when you feel you have no way out. A victim gives up because they believe they are doomed. No one moves it forward. Life is hard, fate is against me. When have you sourced Victim energy? Listen to the audio program to hear both responses. Note - If the story is going to work, the hero must not source victim energy. If we find we are sourcing victim energy and feel shame, we move into the villain character who attacks the victim inside us. Don’t do that either. When Donald brought that up, I thought that was super interesting, that we could be a villain to ourselves. Let’s talk about the villain: We want to make sure we/ the hero doesn’t source villain energy. How is the hero responding to their challenge? When they are insulted, how do they react, when they feel all is lost, do they lash out like a villain? When have you sourced Villain energy in your life? Listen to the audio program to hear both responses. The story is about the transformation of the hero, the guide is the most respected and wise in the story - like Yoda for Luke, or Haimich for Katniss in the Hunger Games, or Gandolf in Lord of the Rings. When we are the guide - we sacrifice ourselves for another. When have you sourced guide energy? Listen to the audio program to hear both responses. To buy Hero On A Mission: https://www.amazon.com/Hero-Mission-Path-Meaningful-Life/dp/B09128GM6X/ref=sr_1_1?crid=23XV87SEK24U5&keywords=Hero+on+a+mission&qid=1653058903&sprefix=hero+on+a+missio%2Caps%2C214&sr=8-1 To contact Jessica Burrell: hello@jessicaburrell.com Life forces us to live a story. It’s not a choice. We can moan and rage and create a victim or villain story, OR we can create a path of transformation in our life. A path to meaning. A path to transformation. So much of this is about our identity and who we believe we are. Do we believe we are helpless (victim)? Do we believe other people are small (villain)? Do we believe we are in control and can transform and change - growth mindset - hero energy? Are we willing to guide, with wisdom and selflessness, when needed? In stories, pain is the only way that heroes transform and become the better versions of themselves. Pain is the force that transforms us. There is a redemptive perspective of pain. We must take the thing that hurt us and shape it into an inner strength. Pick up the pain and turn it into something useful. Victims can heal into heroes and heroes can strengthen into guides. Humans are designed to change. Healthy people learn from their mistakes. That’s a lot of hope. We hope you've learned some things about yourself, about your story, and about the possibility for engaging with the energy you want, on purpose. Thanks for being here. Share this episode with your friends and family *Additional music by Kevin MacLeod

Hero on a Mission: A Path to a Meaningful Life

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Episode 221: Hero on a Mission, Part 1 - with Jessica BurrellWelcome to the Love Your Story podcast! Today’s episode is a double whammy of goodness because we are going to be discussing some really fun ideas for moving our lives forward, from Donald Miller’s book - Hero on a Mission, and we’re doing it with Jessica Burrell, the owner of Amplify Your Vision, the fabulous transformational coach. Do you want your life story to be as meaningful as possible? Are you willing to take responsibility for your own life story? The good life stories take work. Our lives have a beginning, middle and end - like a story. We play many roles - friends, husband, wife, son, daughter, teacher, learner etc. - we are multi-dimensional characters. But within our story there are times we also play the role of the villian, the victim, the hero and hopefully the guide. But before we go there, we first need to talk about our own power and responsibility. This brings us to - Who is writing your story? Do you think fate is responsible for where you are, for how your story turns out? Do you believe others, who act upon you, determine the storyline? Is it God that writes our story? As Donald Miller says in his book, if it’s fate or God they are doing a very unfair job. In Hero on a Mission, Donald Miller says, “What if God has created the scene - the sunset, the sunrise, the ocean, the mountains. He has set the scene for US to create within. The broken nature of life is a fact. But, we have been given a pen to write our way within it. It felt right when he said, God isn’t writing your story, Fate isn’t writing your story, there has rather, been a space created for you to pick up the pen and write the meaning into your own story. We get to decide if we use colorful sparkle pens, we get to decide what we focus on, who we want to become, how WE choose to deal with the natural tragedies that arise from a world full of crazy. This is the gift of agency. You alone have the responsibility to shape your life into something meaningful. To learn from the setbacks and pain, to create with intention. Tune in to the audio program for an interesting discussion about what it looks like when we play the hero, victim, villain and the guide. What energy are you sourcing? Let’s start with a little definition and explanation: Heroes are victims going through the process of transformation. Victims believe they are buffeted by circumstances and they have no power in their own lives. They often give up, surrender to fate, believe they are doomed. The Villain makes others small. They don’t seek transformation, they seek revenge. The Guide helps the hero. The hero does not transform alone - we all have help. Lots of help. The hero doesn’t know how to do it all, because they are in the process of transformation. Here’s the cool part…the pain transforms a hero into a guide for others. Donald Miller says, in the book, “Life is a beautiful experience and we get to participate in making it so….the idea that fate writes our story is a lie. We do not suffer fate, we partner with fate to write a story generated from our own God-given creativity and agency. And that story can be more than interesting, it can be meaningful.” Join us for Part 2 as we discuss our personal times of sourcing the hero, villain, victim and guide energy. To buy the book: https://www.amazon.com/Hero-Mission-Path-Meaningful-Life/dp/B09128GM6X/ref=sr_1_1?crid=VH6LCREL2CE&keywords=Hero+on+a+Mission&qid=1653005991&sprefix=hero+on+a+mission%2Caps%2C275&sr=8-1 See you in two weeks.

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Episode 220: Death with a Little "d" - Interview Margaret MeloniWhen a marriage fails, a friendship terminates, we find new wrinkles and new sagging skin, we lose a job or lose a beloved pet, the facts of impermanence stare, unblinking, at us. While logically we can acknowledge that impermanence is a matter of fact, a fact of life, it is also something we fear. We fear losing our youth, people and pets we love, a job that helps us define who we are, a way of life, wealth, etc. With that fear comes suffering. Learning to let go….that’s what we are talking about today. Today’s episode is about Death with a little d. I’ve called in our death specialist, Margaret Meloni, but we aren’t talking about dealing with the death of our loved ones or ourselves today, more about the death of less crucial things. And we are having this discussion because a section of the road to enlightenment is living with more peace and less fear, and impermanence is one of those things we get to understand better. Tune in for what this looks like in real life and maybe come away with a new coping skill. Margaret Meloni is used to talking about death. In fact, her second book recently hit the book stands, Sitting With Death: Buddhist Insights to Help You Face Your Fears and Live a Peaceful Life. Her first book, Carpooling with Death, was highlighted in episode 146 of the Love Your Story podcast. But I don’t want to talk about Death with a big D today. Refer back to that episode for that discussion. Today I want to talk about impermanence. Margaret’s second season on her podcast, Death Dhamma, she is focusing on death with a little d. - the impermanence of all things and with the ability to accept that impermanence we increase the ability to create less painful life stories. So we’ll learn how to navigate the inevitability of change today. In the audio program we'll discuss ideas like: Can you tell us a little about how you got into the study of death? What is death with a little “d”? Let’s talk about the idea of impermanence. How do you define it? What does it look like in our lives? How do we accept it? Things that we can expect to be impermanent: relationships, health, jobs, etc. What would you add to this list? Shelley Knight said, “We are all grieving something. When we talk about grief people think it’s the death of a loved one and it’s not just that – that’s bereavement. Grief is the loss of anything with which you have an emotional connection. It could be your health, a relationship, a dream, your self-confidence, or something else. We don’t need to hide it. We need to normalize it.” In your discussions on your podcast regarding this topic - what insight/story has stuck with you the most? Let’s talk about: pain+resistance = suffering. Does the acceptance of impermanence help us with resistance and thus reduce our suffering? There are lots of real feelings to deal with when we lose something important to us. What do you think is the most helpful Buddhist teaching regarding impermanence and dealing with it? In your blog post - Master Improvisation, Master Impermanence, you talk about the rules of good improv. “All you need to know is that there will be death, in that awareness there will be peace.” - Margaret Meloni To Contact Margaret: Social Media https://twitter.com/MargaretMeloni (https://twitter.com/MargaretMeloni) https://www.linkedin.com/in/margaretmeloni/ (https://www.linkedin.com/in/margaretmeloni/) https://www.facebook.com/DeathDhamma (https://www.facebook.com/DeathDhamma) https://www.facebook.com/groups/962871121024043 (https://www.facebook.com/groups/962871121024043) Website: https://www.margaretmeloni.com/ (https://www.margaretmeloni.com/) What are you grieving the loss of in your life. Maybe it’s as simple as the loss of an expectation - you expected a marriage to be happily ever after, you expected a friend to be loyal, you expected a party you threw to turn out...

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Episode 219: Come Off Conqueror - Interview Bonnie Randall Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast.

"You can't go back and change the beginning of your story... but you can start where you are today and change your ending"

On today’s show we are talking about coming of conqueror. What does that mean? To conquer something is to prevail over it; to overcome and take control of. Often times we are held hostage by events in our pasts that have traumatized us. We are cripple by the abuses of others, by shame, even by our own destructive choices. We are talking about events we have not been able to heal from. Events in our stories that have us stuck, like a knight in a mud bog - forward progress inhibited, wallowing in the dirt and muck we don’t know how to break free from.

Tune into the audio program for my interview with Bonnie Randal, creator the YouTube channel Come off Conqueror.

Ms. Randall is a champion of the down-trodden. She has a 20-year career in marketing at all levels from Fortune 500 to non-profit and charity work. Her charity work has led to her meeting many trauma survivors, and her own experience with date rape has created understanding bonds with these survivors and has sparked a passion for helping them heal. Her mission is to help victims of abuse, primarily women and children, conquer their trauma and live healthy, fulfilling lives. She believes that God is the key, and so she started a Youtube channel, Come Off Conqueror, where survivors share stories of healing, as well as insights from other therapists, healers, authors and practitioners to help women take back their power, heal, and step into their true identities.

"It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite life of Christ's Atonement." - Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

In today's interview I talk with Bonnie about:

Her story.

How did you heal? How long did it take?

There are lots of treatment programs out there. What is your philosophy for healing?

I’d love to hear some inspiring stories from the women you’ve worked with. What have you learned from them?

What do we all need to know - most of all - about how to heal?

What exactly do you offer people? Where can people find you to share stories with you?

Contact information for Bonnie Randall

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7v_-x8uvv89jW7pVfZC6cg (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7v_-x8uvv89jW7pVfZC6cg)

https://www.facebook.com/groups/817834172106176 (https://www.facebook.com/groups/817834172106176)

I don’t know why so many terrible things happen in the world - bad things to good people. But what I do know is that trauma changes us. We know more, we sometimes come to understand things we never wanted to understand. Sometimes it breaks our souls, our minds and our bodies. This is why healing becomes so important. Like our bodies our souls can be healed. It’s not fast, and it needs proper care and time, and help. But healing is hope. Healing is essential to stepping out of the dark, sticky bog in which trauma can throw us. Healing is part of the process of being able to live again.

Your challenge this week is to consider what trauma in your past may still have a negative hold on you - one that holds you back because you don’t understand how to get past it. Take this acknowledgement into your meditations and your prayers and ask for the way of healing to open to you. Keep this intention in your heart this week. See what doors open.

Please share this episode link with anyone you think it would bless. Have a great week creating your life intentionally. See you in two weeks.

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Episode 218: Life Engineered- Interview Rusty Lindquist Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast! When we talk about living your life story with intention, we are essentially saying, let’s engineer our lives. Let’s look at what we want and purposefully create thought patterns and habits to be who we want to be.

Rusty Lindquist was interviewed in the early years of the podcast - episode 21 - Remember that because you’re going to want to go back and listen to his story if you haven’t heard it yet - His father thought he was being called on by God to sacrifice his son and that led Rusty and his mother to run for their lives. This man lived alone, hiding out in a forest as a 10 year-old. He knows how to go from trauma to success, so he’s got cred.

Rusty founded Life Engineering to help individuals, parents, leaders, and organizations cut through everything and achieve excellence. Life Engineering provides the tools and the training, the motivation and the methodology, an entire system designed to help people move beyond where they have been, to go farther than they thought they could… to achieve more, to do more, to become more. It’s about more than just short-term success. It’s the disciplined pursuit of excellence.

Tune into the audio program for my discussion with Rusty Lindquist and to get a real look at what life engineering looks like and answers to these questions:

Let’s start with your story - what was the path to creating Life Engineering?

What are the main components of engineering a life?

What activates and unleashes our energy? - Our potential…

What about apathy? What happens when you feel like the effort isn’t worth the outcome?

Let’s talk about human potential and science. What do you scientifically know about how to access human potential? What motivates us?

To contact Rusty:

rusty@lifeengineering.com

www.lifeengineering.com

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-XyC4DyynM (Learn to sustain energy and begin your purposeful journey - YouTube)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUqrtb5Rzz0&t=94s ( The Greatest Asset On Earth - YouTube)

https://lifeengineering.com/human-achievement-events-training-and-speaking/leadership-development-and-live-training/ (Leadership Development and Live Training – Life Engineering)

Time, talent, energy….understanding how to activate and sustainably employ that energy so you can reach the outcomes you want. Anything worth having is going to take work. I can tell you now, having a few decades of living under my belt, that time just keeps rolling on. Before you know it another 10 years have passed, and what have you done? Did you do, experience, become what you wanted? If not, now is the time to use the resources, like what Rusty has talked about, like what I talk about on the show, the 21 Challenges, life coaches, etc. to help you engineer what you want. I love that we live in an age where we have so many resources for our success. So many that it’s sometimes overwhelming - so many podcasts, so many books, so many life coaches, so many programs, but all it takes is one good one. Start somewhere if you need support and greater understanding of what it looks like to go a little further than you’ve gone in the past. Image that satisfied feeling a year from now, when you’ve created something you really feel great about. Or lived in an active way that created opportunities for you.

Your challenge this week is just to think about what you want in your life, and then consider what type of engineering could help you get it.

Thanks for being here. Check out http://www.loveyourstorypodcast.com (www.loveyourstorypodcast.com) for links to buy Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday, to get the show notes with Rusty’s contact information, to hear all the past 200+ episodes and all the great stories in each one. Have a great 2 weeks creating your best life - every step counts.

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Episode 217: What's the Most Important Story in the World? Interview Mary Alice ArthurFor all my Love Your Story listeners, you know the premise of the podcast is that we are living our story and while our backstories may be messy, coming to love and accept them is crucial to self-love and acceptance and to moving forward in a healthy way. We also constantly talk about the fact that since our lives are an unfolding story, and we have agency and intellect, we can, if we choose, control that story, we can shift directions at any time. We understand that the stories we tell ourselves determine what we believe, how we see the world, how we see ourselves - and those are powerful things, because they, in turn, determine our very lives. I have a question - do you get this in theory, or do you REALLY get it and put it into action? Stay tuned — On today's show I have Mary Alice Arthur, a woman who has spent her life as a story activist helping people to understand this, and to empower them to use this power that we all have. She is the author of 365 Alive - Find your voice, Claim your Story. Live Your Brilliant Life. And she has travelled the world goin gin and out of organizations, systems and cultures working with groups and individuals helping them realize that story is the secret superpower of humanity. Back to my question - do you REALLY get the super power you have within the story you are living? Do you use that super power with intention? Maybe you’re just starting to understand it. …. Well, if you really get it, then you begin to use your power to track the stories you are telling yourself. To determine which stories are lifting you, and which ones are holding you down. Then, with that information, you start to purposefully and intelligently make room for the stories that support and empower you. You become aware of the damage stories can have as well, and you realize you can purposefully extract the destruction, you don't have to make space for it, or feed it. So….Today’s show is particularly exciting because we have a guest who is going to give us more know-how, more insight, and actual things we can do to understand and embrace this power that lies within our mind and spirit, so we can create our best life story with intention. Mary Alice, welcome to the show!! I want to start with a quote from you, “The stories you tell yourself influence whether you feel powerless or powerful, color how you define success and happiness, underpin eery action you take. When you wake up to the stories at work in for life you suddenly step into the position of power. Story stops being what defines you and becomes your ally.” We want to make story our ally. We want to more fully understand the position of power we have with story. How do you help people understand the subjectiveness of story, and the power the stories we tell ourselves have in how our lives unfold? When I read the Harry Potter books I would think, man, why doesn’t Harry study harder? If you knew you had that kind of power, why wouldn’t you figure out how to use it? Really practice… but in real life we do have power - amazing power that few of us take the time and effort to tap in to. Tune into the audio program to hear our conversation about the most important story in the world and how we can use it to support ourselves. To contact Mary Alice: 365live.org www.getsoaring.com mary-alice@getsoaring.com We’ve already had a lot to think about in this episode, so I’ll just end with the challenge - get clear on your own story. Pinpoint one area of your life that isn’t working for you as well as you’d like and take an honest look around the stories you are telling yourself, the stories others are creating for you, and determine how you could shift that story, look at it from a different angle, focus on what was learned instead of negative emotion, consider other perspectives, what would it look like to experiment with changes in the stories...

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Episode 216: Resiliency - What does it take to bounce back?Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. Today we are talking about Resilience - let’s define it: Resilence is “an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.” Lynn G. Robbins, a leader in the LDS church shared, “During my visit to Brigham Young University–Idaho in the fall of 2017, the school’s new president, Henry J. Eyring, told me that his foremost concern was the high dropout rate of college freshmen. Students leave college for a variety of reasons, but a lack of resilience is one of the leading reasons that many universities across the United States are experiencing this same challenge.” He then mentioned that the military is noticing the same thing: “Discovering a lack of resilience among its recruits, the U.S. Army started offering the Master Resilience Training (MRT) program to fortify soldiers against the stress, demands, and hardships of military service.” Colleges, military, these are just a few places where this lack of resilience is being noted among us. So let’s have a conversation…. University, the Military, Covid - these things are not causing the lack of resiliency, they are just exposing it. How do we become more resilient?’’ Stay tuned for a look at resiliency and the keys we need to help us bounce back. Lower resilience among today’s youth may be caused by a number of things - I’ll throw a few out: Less physical activity (read too much device time), so the don’t know how to push through resistance. Impatience in a world of instant gratification. Resilience is developed in great part through the virtue of patience. Protection from rough seas. “Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.”

While the reasons are important so we can start making changes, what I want to talk about today is what resiliency looks like. Is it just me, or have you also noticed, as we listen to the incredible life stories shared on this podcast, that one thing constantly pops up, a cross roads. This cross roads, in all our lives, may come up over and over, but that’s why it’s even more important to be aware of it. It is the cross roads of choosing victimhood/blame/depression and giving-up OR choosing growth/overcoming and keep on, keeping on. This cross roads is a sacred place. It’s a place where the human soul does its hardest work. It is not a place to be taken lightly or to be talked about lightly. It is not the cause of the struggle, it is the choice in the struggle. Today we talk about resiliency - because as Steve Goodier said, “My scars remind me that I did indeed survive my deepest wounds. That in itself is an accomplishment. And they bring to mind something else, too. They remind me that the damage life has inflicted on me has, in many places, left me stronger and more resilient. What hurt me in the past has actually made me better equipped to face the present.” I start out with this quote because I think when we are deep in the struggle that this becomes and important thing to remember. It might feel like life is unfair and you’re getting the shit kicked out of you, but someday it will be this process and what you do with it that create your character and your strength. On today’s show we’ll hear from 3 people, clips of their stories and how they navigated the horrible spaces of paralysis from a rodeo accident, walking again after a bike/SUV collision, and taking back life after sexual abuse, and a deep emersion in alcoholic households. We all have our own path with our own difficult struggles - no one’s is the same….but what is the same is the importance of resiliency. This one thing determines whether you make it through, and how you show up on the other side. What does resiliency look like? It’s always best to look at real life examples: So I’m dipping into 3 past interviews. We’ll hear some tips for sure, but as I listen to stories on the podcast, over and over, ONE thing that pops out...

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Episode 215: Interview: Kimberly Hill - Men's Relationship Coach Healthy relationships are one of the most important parts, if not THE most important part of creating a life story that we love.

When it comes down to it, on our death beds, it’s always about the relationships we’ve had, not about how many days we worked, or how many toys we bought.

Intimate relationships are crucial to our well-being. This relationship - the one with our significant other - finding them - the right one, and nurturing a healthy relationship, is, dare I say, a life goal for most.

So, today’s guest, Kimberly Hill, the host of the Self Confidence Project podcast, and men’s life, dating and relationship coach, is here to talk to us about where men are struggling, how to navigate this area with authenticity, common mistakes and how to over come them, and a lot more.

Tune into the audio program for this very cool discussion that’s going to focus on the men of the world.

Kimberly says, “Healthy relationship are not a fantasy. They do exist. But they require more than just love. They require an equal portion of love, compassion, a deep understanding of one’s self, commitment, excitement and effort - from both parties.

Kimberly has thousands of hours of direct work with men on confidence, dating and relationships and brings a mastery of coaching, emotional maturity practices and leadership to her clients. She gets to the heart of what really matters, and I’m so excited to have an episode that focuses on men, because I think they often get left out of this mind-set work, so let’s get started…

On the show we start with Kimberly's story…how she got into this work of helping men with this intimate and super important part of their lives?

We discuss what mistakes men make most in relationships?

I ask her what she thinks is the best mind-set for men in dating, and in relationships?

We talk about life satisfaction and why this is a part of her coaching.

Then we delve into how a man can get a clear vision for his life after a divorce and then set boundaries in his dating?

To get a hold of Kimberly:

info@selfconfidenceproject.com

www.kimberlyninahill.com

and her podcast: The Self-Confidence Project

The Self-Confidence Project is a weekly podcast featuring conversations on life, dating, relationships, confidence and motivation. In each episode, Kimberly talks candidly about the stuff we all face in life and love. She shares an honest perspective to bring you the truth you need to hear – even if it’s not pretty. If you’re looking for relatable content and inspiring advice on how to transform your relationship and dating experience, tune into The Self-Confidence Project.

Your challenge for this week is to look at your primary relationship, or the primary relationship that you want, and take one small step toward making it a little more healthy.

Thanks for listening, please leave a review for the show on whatever app you listen, and if you email me a screen shot of your review and your address I’ll mail you a Love Your Story sticker. Email is lorijlee@msn.com

See you in two weeks for our next episode of how to live your best life story on purpose.

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Episode 214 - Walking on Water Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast!

Today is about taking a walk on the water. In my living room I have one picture of Christ. It is a picture of his feet. A picture of him from the knees down, walking on the water. I chose this painting, because in my soul I sense the deep importance of this display to us. The deep importance for us of learning to walk with faith, of coming to understand what it is, why it’s important, and how to develop and use it in our own lives.

For us to grow and stretch, and become more, we have to risk. We have to struggle to stand, to try to walk in the first place. We have to have more faith in our why, in ourselves, and in our supportive universal purpose and God, than in fear.

Tune into the audio program for 3 clips from incredible women about the idea of walking on water.

Martha Beck, the international life coach said, “Every leap into light starts as a leap in the dark.”

I’ll point out the obvious - Every leap into the dark is a step out onto the water…

In episode 78 I did an interview Ganel-Lyn Condie, the popular LDS writer and speaker. We called the show: Trust the Process

One of the things we talked about was that faith is a process - we start by daring to step out of the boat, if we want to walk on water, and from there the process of sinking, rising and walking on water unfolds over and over. Here’s a clip from our conversation:

Here's the link to her full episode if you'd like to hear the whole interview:

https://loveyourstorypodcast.com/captivate-podcast/episode-78-interview-ganel-lyn-condie-trust-process/

All who try will sink, rise, and walk on water, over and over. It’s the process. And when others are trying, let’s give them credit too. Empathy and understanding in the process is important, so we can all practice and learn with one another’s support.

One important key is that our lives are less about what is going on around us, and more about what is going on inside us. We create the meaning that events have to us. Do we create that meaning around faith or around fear? That’s an important question because the answer will determine very different outcomes.

In my interview with Leslie Householder, the ward-winning international best selling author of The Jackrabbit Factor, Portal to Genius and Hidden Treasures, we discussed this idea of what faith is and how mindset triggers the power of faith.

Tune into the audio episode to hear from Leslie - If you'd like to hear her entire interview, here is the link:

https://loveyourstorypodcast.com/captivate-podcast/episode173-rare-faith-interview-with-leslie-householder/

Another quote by Martha Beck, the internationally renowned life coach, shares some of the real life ways we use faith. She said, “Anyone who embraces the mender’s way of life must proceed through continual, infinite, breathtaking leaps of faith. Each time you face an unknown future with creativity rather than grasping at known quantities, you leap. Each time you dare to believe your art can sustain you financially, you leap. Each time you trust your tribe, you leap. Each time you embrace a love that lays you bare in body, heart, or soul, you leap. And whenever you begin to disbelieve in yourself, your destiny, your ability to heal some part of the world, you must leap instead into the branches of magic.”

We use faith every day in every way. When we get out of bed, when we attempt something new, when we reach out to someone and risk rejection, when we trust God and things we may not understand, when we choose to trust that living better, kinder, with more love will bring us happier lives than resorting to more basic emotions like anger, hatred, holding grudges. When we work hard at something -going to school, working for a promotion or a new client, stretching into a new area, we are using faith. It’s a very...

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Episode 213: Got Trauma? Interview Trevor Lay Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. As we live our life stories, and strive to create our best life story, we have the opportunity to deal with challenges. One of these challenges can be trauma. There are many things that cause trauma for us - violence, abuse, we’ll get into this more in the interview, and what causes trauma for some will not cause trauma in another, but learning to navigate and learn from it, and doing the work to make sure it doesn’t sabotage us and our relationships, seems like a pretty important skill set.

Mark Goulston, MD, said, “Unlike simple stress, trauma changes your view of your life and yourself. It shatters your most basic assumptions about yourself and your world — “Life is good,” “I’m safe,” “People are kind,” “I can trust others,” “The future is likely to be good” — and replaces them with feelings like “The world is dangerous,” “I can’t win,” “I can’t trust other people,” or “There’s no hope.”

Join me today as I talk with Trevor Lay, from Little Rock Arkansas, who has over 18 years of experience in behavioral healthcare and social services. He specializes in trauma and does trauma trainings for his local DHS offices and foster care support groups in Little Rock. Stay tuned for conversation about what trauma is, misconceptions about trauma, how it works in the body, how to effectively treat it, and the effect it can have on our relationships.

Trevor Lay is the Executive Director of Full Potential Child Development Center and received his Master’s degree in Social Work from the University of Arkansas. Trevor came to my attention after using his skills to help Bethany Wallace, a past guest of the Love Your Story podcast, and she highly recommended him - said his skill set was a God-send that helped to salvage her marriage. So Trevor and I have done some talking, and I think we’re all going to learn some helpful things today.

Join Trevor and I on the audio program to hear answers to some of these questions:

Let’s start with a little of your story. Why do you do the work you do?
One of your favorite quotes is By Bessel Van Der Kolk M.D, from The Body Keeps the Score.

“Being able to feel safe with other people is probably the single most important aspect of mental health; safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and satisfying lives.” —

What does this quote mean to you?

What is trauma? What types are the most prevalent?

Misconceptions?

What are the symptoms of trauma?
How does trauma get lodged in the body?
How does it manifest itself in our behavior with other? Relationships?
You do marital counseling privately - do you find trauma and marriage overlap?
What should people who have experienced trauma do to start down the path to recovery?

To find Trevor Lay:

trevor.lay.5@gmail.com

I’ll close with a quote from Michelle Rosenthal. “Trauma creates change you don’t choose. Healing is about creating change you do choose.”

Thanks for being here today. Please share this episode link with someone who has suffered from trauma. Keep living your best life story, on purpose. And I’d sure appreciate hearing from listeners, with on the website http://loveyourstorypodcast.com (loveyourstorypodcast.com) - or through reviews on your podcast app.

See you in two weeks.

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Episode 212: Domestic Violence: Interview Brielle Cotterman and Melissa Haenchen Brielle Cotterman is a TEDx Speaker, Publicity Expert, and Celebrity-Maker. She is a survivor of attempted murder and domestic violence and an advocate for a world where intimate partner abuse is not tolerated and survivors are met with empathy. She is a graduate of Indiana University, a World’s Grand Champion Equestrian, and she has been married for just over a year to the love of her life and owns & operates a show horse breeding farm, where she lives with her husband, three children and many, many animals! She has spent the better part of the last decade helping clients to craft and scale Dream careers to 7 figures and beyond by leveraging their personal stories and passions in order to create speaking tours, author award-winning books, procure media placements, and inspire the millions of people that need to hear their story. Tune in to the audio program to hear Brielle's story about having a gun held to her head, and how she has overcome the abuse. Melissa Haenchen, Prevention Coordinator at the Utah Domestic Violence Coalition, hails from Eastern Kansas and earned her degree in Women, Gender and Sexuality Studies from the University of Kansas. She began her career as a domestic violence advocate, and has also held roles coordinating outreach and events for an organization serving adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse and supporting parents to strengthen protective factors to prevent childhood sexual abuse, child abuse and neglect. 1-3 women undergo abuse. If you need help - please use the following tools: To contact Brielle Cotterman: www.Briellecotterman.com To contact Melissa Haenchen: Utah Domestic Violence Coalition: Office: 801-521-5544 Help Resources: 24-hour LinkLine - 1-800-897-LINK (Available 24/7 in Utah) For other locations in the USA: www.thehotline.org 1-800-799-7233 Utah Coalition Against Sexual Assault - www.ucasa.org Utah's 24 hr. Sexual Violence crisis line: 1-888-421-1100 Share this episode with anyone who may need it. We'll see you in two weeks for our next episode of the Love Your Story podcast.

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Episode 211: Healthy Co-Parenting: Interview with Jae Behrman and Amanda LouderWelcome to the Love Your Story podcast. Today I have an interesting duo. A divorced couple who had 3 children together. After their divorce they needed to heal and grow individually, but they also had to immediately co-parent. This is an important topic, because for children of broken homes, how this co-parenting is done can make a huge difference in how much baggage the children take away, in how secure the children feel with life, even how loved the children feel. I haven’t heard someone talk about this before so I’m looking forward to today’s conversation. In 2011 Jae and Amanda filed for divorce. Stay tuned to find out why. But more importantly, stay tuned to hear a story of growth and positive co-parenting and what that looks like. Join the audio for my discussion with Jae and Amanda for the answers to some of these questions: Tell me just a little bit about who each of you are today, then we’ll jump backward in time to get your story. Jae - What did you learn about yourself from your first marriage? What have you done to heal and grow? Amanda - What did you learn about yourself? What have you done to heal and grow? Jae - How is Amanda better now? What growth have you seen? Amanda - How is Jae better now? What broth have you seen? Did you always co-parent well together? What does that look like for you guys? When did you make this choice to co-parent carefully and positively and what does it look like to co-parent with someone who has hurt you? Why is co-parenting well so important to our children? Individual thoughts on change, growth, and forgiveness after divorce.

I have two quotes I want to share. The first is from Oprah Winfrey. She said, “We can’t become what we need to be by remaining what we are.” Our dark days, the break-up of a family, the dissolution of a relationship, especially these times can be wake-up calls, the fast track to growth, if you let it. The second quote is from Bernice Johnson Reagon, She said, “Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.”

Keep creating a story you love through continued growth. Nobody gets it all right the first time. It’s a process. Please share this episode with anyone you think it will support and inspire. You can find all the show notes on our website at http://www.loveyoustorypodcast.com (www.loveyoustorypodcast.com) To contact Amanda Louder: amandalouder.com/blog/podcast See you in two weeks for the next great inspirational episode where stories show us the way forward.

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Episode 210: 3 Tips for Being Exceptional with Co-Host Jessica BurrellLet's start off 2022 with 3 Tips for Being Exceptional. Join us in the audio program to hear the discussion about being exceptional and what these tips mean in much more detail: 3-Tips:

1 - It's How We Do What We Do.

2 - Be the Miracle

3 - Get off the Bench

To contact Jessica Burrell: Jessica@amplifyyourvision.com

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Episode 209: Best of 2021 Best of 2021 Welcome to the LYS Podcast! Today’s episode is one of my favorite of the year because it celebrates the listener favorites from the past year. Today we’ll hear little clips from the top five episodes of 2021. What did you guys love best? Which episodes lifted your spirits and gave you a dash of inspiration to create your best life story - whether that meant striving a little harder, living with intention, or making it through one of the muddy swamps in your life story? Welcome to the top 5 LYS episodes of 2021. Let’s start out with #5 - Drum roll. This year you guys loved the idea of owning your own story - episode 188: Own Your Story takes us on a discussion of what it looks like to accept yourself, your life, your responsibility, and your power. https://loveyourstorypodcast.com/captivate-podcast/episode-188-own-your-story/

4 favorite for 2021 is episode 185 My interview with Barney “Scout” Mann (trail name is Scout.) , the author of Journeys North and Pacific Crest Trail, Appalachian trail and Continental Divide through-hiker. This Triple Crown hiker has logged a lot of miles: The Pacific Crest Trail is 2650 miles long and covers 26 national forests, 7 national parks, 5 state parks and 3 national monuments. It takes 5 months at an average of 20 miles a day. The Appalachian Trail is 2180 miles and the Continental Divide Trail is 3100 miles. His book Journeys North is stories from the PCT, stories about humanity, connection, strength, companionship.

https://loveyourstorypodcast.com/captivate-podcast/episode-185-a-story-about-life-on-the-trail-interview-barney-scout-mann/

3 People’s choice for 2021 is episode 187 - Spiritual Gifts with Deb Atella. In 2005 Deb had a near death experience where she saw family members who had passed away. Her experience and ability to tune into the spirit world was something that took awhile to get used to, but as she accepted the gift, put limits on when she was available to the spirits on the other side, she embraced what felt like a spiritual gift. This episode is a conversation about spiritual gifts and her story.

https://loveyourstorypodcast.com/captivate-podcast/episode-187-spiritual-gifts-interview-deb-atella/ Now to #2 - The second most loved episode of 2021 is the story of Michael Anthony in episode 193. Michael Anthony was born to a hyper-abusive drug addict mother who cut his finger off when he was 4-years-old, a step father you pray you never have, and a racist grandmother who pushed him into an identity crisis. By the time he was 9 his family was often homeless, certainly living in poverty, and he was eventually adopted by his grandmother. He turned to drugs and alcohol to survive the continued abuse. He’s the creator of Think Unbroken. This interview is all about how we heal mentally from traumatic events in our lives. He shares his story to show what it looks like to keep climbing out of the hole and do whatever it takes to heal and excel. https://loveyourstorypodcast.com/captivate-podcast/episode-193-think-unbroken-interview-with-michael-anthony/ I loved my interview with Michael because I could just hear the solid sense of self in everything he shared. His insights were powerful, his overcoming incredible. This was one of my favorite episodes too. Now, here we are at #1 - the most downloaded episode of 2021 was Accept and Nurture your Awesome episode 184. My audience are seekers. People who want inspiration. People learning to love their story and accept their story. This episode launched 2021 with some life coach referrals and a quick discussion about leaning into nurturing our best selves. Maybe this episode was #1 because this is the starting point for all of us - self-acceptance, self-love, and healing any long-held beliefs that contribute to our false stories of unworthiness. https://loveyourstorypodcast.com/captivate-podcast/episode-184-accept-and-nurture-your-awesom/

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Episode 208: What Do I Magnify? Whatever I see through the magnifying glass grows bigger. It is up to me where I focus that lense.

At the beginning of the year I mentioned that my focus for the year was “What I focus on Expands.” We talked about that earlier, so today’s discussion is a little different - we’re talking about magnifying. It’s a space to ask yourself, what do I magnify?

I think this topic is so important because it is the very power we create our stories with. What we magnify becomes bigger for us. If I’m focusing on all the crazy political upheaval, I’m going to be filled with the emotions that brings up in me. Maybe I’ll be full of fear, spreading stories and fears with others, spending lots of time hording TP or …. If I’m focused on the good I see in others the world is going to feel pretty nice and I’ll see the beauty and diversity in people, which will create friendships, understanding between people, create a greater space for loving. If I’m magnifying business growth or making money my I will see business opportunity, I will see networking opportunities, I will see money making opportunity. That will be the focus of my story.

I’ve invited Jessica Burrell, Owner of Amplify Your Vision, to have a discussion with me about this topic - let’s say she’s going to be co-hosting with me off and on through 2022, so you’ll get to tap into her wisdom. So, I’ll introduce Jessica and then I want to start out with a story…

Jessica is a Leadership and Transformational Business Coach and Owner of Amplify Your Vision Agency..

Visionary entrepreneurs & community leaders hire Jessica (and her team) to help get them feeling more on fire in their business!

Because most don’t have time, systems and processes or a team.

She supports them in creating client attraction and community scaling strategies as well as removing any mindset blocks in order to not feel burned out as they propel to their next level!

Ultimately, she helps them create a sustainable strategy for their business, implement proven systems and processes, take action and create the space to focus on their zone of genius as well as achieve the financial freedom they desire!

She has been growing communities for over 4 years, in both the physical and virtual space, knowing that there is nothing more powerful than a strong community of visionaries who support each other and choose collaboration over competition in order for everyone to win!

Welcome to the LYS podcast Jessica

Let me jump into this story from a book I’m reading called, Be The Miracle by Regina Brett, A New York Times Best-Selling Author. And, after I’ve read this, Jess, let’s discuss the ideas.

Tune into the audio program to hear our discussion about these topics:

what I focus on expands
law of attraction
how are you proving yourself right
we are always stacking evidence, which evidence are you stacking?

To contact Jessica Burrell:

hello@jessicaburrell.com

Thank you for listening and for working to Love Your Story. Please share this episode with someone who could use it. Also, don't forget to hop over to the shop page and get your Love Your Story t-shirt and a copy of L.I.F.E - Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday!

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Episode 207 It's All About the Love:Interview Sterling Jaquith

Brene Brown said, “If we want to fully experience love and belonging, we must believe that we are worthy of love and belonging.” We are going to build on this idea. Step 1 is to believe we are worthy of love and belonging.

Step 2 is to develop self-love

I am currently reading a book called, Health Revelations from Heaven and Earth, by Tommy Rosa and Stephen Sinatra, MD, where Tommy shares his near-death experience and the things he was taught in while in “heaven” and one of the most important points he learned was about self-love.

He said -

“To be self-loving is the foundation of divine love. Divine love flows eternally and unconditionally between God and all living beings and never waivers. But for you to truly perceive and feel divine love, there must be a foundation of self-love in your life. With this foundation you can also love others unconditionlly, as God loves you. You will be able to love without fear and without wanting. Self-love also activates the Divine Spark within you. You will become love, and you will find your life filled with miracles and possibilities. So, love yourself first - without ego - and you will be complete within.”

I’ve put this podcast together today because a couple things fell in line. 1. I want to feel that love because I think it’s hard to love our neighbor as God does when we don’t understand what that kind of love feels like. 2. because I am reading that book. And, 3. Because the other day I was listening to Brooke Castillo and The Life Coach School podcast and she was doing an interview with Sterling Jaquith, a Catholic Mom Life Coach that was talking the god-love, self-love talk.

I invited Sterling to the show, because I wanted to talk with her about these topics. You get to listen in.

Tune into the audio program to hear our discussion on these topics:

What do you think of this idea that we have to have self-love as our foundation before we can love others? What about the idea that we have to love ourselves before we can truly perceive and feel divine love? How did you learn this concept? Have you felt God’s love in a direct way?

There are those people who have had the opportunity to feel an actual down pour of God’s love upon them. For those who have felt that incredible, all-encompassing love, it’s hard for them to put it into words, because there is simply no earthly comparison they can draw for us. They use terms like, non-judgmental, flowing, utter peace, unconditional…sometimes we get these reports from those who have had a near-death experience, or from someone who shares a deeply personal moment where God has enveloped them in his love and let them feel it first-hand. What are steps we can take to increase our self love? “One way to engender self-love is through forgiveness. Learning to forgive others as well as yourself…”

To contact Sterling Jaquith:Catholic Life Coach

http://www.madeforgreatness.co/ (www.madeforgreatness.co)

Lets just review the steps for accessing that great understanding of who we are and how much we are loved.

1 - as Brene Brown stated, we have to believe we are worthy of love and belonging.

2 Once we get that we are worthy of it, we much work to love and accept ourselves - this is what Love Your Story is all about - coming to love who you are and what you’ve been through, no matter how messy the path has been.

3 With these under our belt we begin to access divine love, which helps us to love ourselves even more, to love others better, to begin to feel God’s divine love for us.

Your challenge for this week is to check in with yourself. Do you believe that you are worthy of love? Do you accept and love YOU? Ask a few searching questions - how does knowing your own worth help you love others better?

As we close out 2021 I want to remind you to pick...

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Episode 206: A Doable, Enjoyable Guide to Living the Life You Want - Interview Danielle Dinkelman If Diets don’t work, What does? - A doable, enjoyable guide to living the life you want. Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. Today’s episode is about how to create real change when we want to. It’s about our health and lifestyle. Now before you tune out because it’s been done a million times, let me tell you what’s different….Danielle Dinkelman was referred to me by a fellow podcast host. I liked the idea of intentionally creating a healthy lifestyle, but everyone has an angle on this. The reason I took a look at her book “If diets don’t work, what does.” was because I was coming up hard agains the Covid 15 pound weight gain. But there are a couple things I know about myself - 1st - I’ve never had to diet, I don’t. I don’t own a scale. If I tell myself I can have some food I will inevitably eat 3 or 4 more times of that food than I normally would. It is completely unrealistic for me to even pretend for one moment that I’m going to ever go on a diet. I also know I have to manage who I am, not try to will power my way into anything. I’ve also had a hard time getting myself to go to the gym no matter how many times I’ve put it on my calendar. So…..long story short, what did Danielle Dinkelman have to say that hadn’t been said before and would it actually be useful?

She sent me her book. I read it because I was feeling a little desperate to get back into my really cool hiking shorts that I’d only had for one season before Covid his and I sat around on my butt, in front of my computer in Zoom meetings for a year. I read it to see if it would be worthy of you, my audience.

Tune in for a couple really strong ideas that will work for everyone….. Danielle is in the house.

Let's talk about how we create a healthy eating and exercising lifestyle we will enjoy - one not filled with desperation?

To contact Danielle or buy her book:

Danielle Dinkelman, NBC-HWC

National Board Certified Health & Wellness Coach

Spark Health Coaching, LLC

http://www.danielledinkelman.com/ (www.danielledinkelman.com)

https://www.youtube.com/healthylivingwithdanielledinkelman (youtube.com/healthylivingwithdanielledinkelman)

I think living your best life on purpose definitely includes taking care of your body. It is the case that houses your spirit and when you feel good, you rock things. Feeling good is important, and the greatest chance of creating a lifestyle that is healthy is to have realistic expectations and to create habits that you are excited about. Fun habits and eating that serve you rather than feel like handcuffs. There are good foods we like, and exercises and movements we are more drawn to than others. We CAN create healthy lifestyles that serve us.

Your challenge for this week is to take a look at the habits you have around food or exercise and see if they need to be replaced. Then consider a healthy food or movement you would really enjoy that it would be fun to create a new habit around. It’s a great place to start. And, if you need help you can call Danielle.

Thanks for being here - Live your best life on purpose! Create habits that serve YOU! Start the new year intentionally and in charge of your own life.

See you in two weeks. Share this podcast with someone who would enjoy it.

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Episode 205: You Do You - Live Your Own Colorful Story

The other day I was emailing with a woman who said she was really concerned about her granddaughter. She was trying to teach her granddaughter - or encourage her - to do her own life. You Do You! She said infatically. I wondered which podcast episode might be a support to her granddaughter, and I suggested a couple, but I realized we talk about this all the time, in lots of different stories, but wouldn’t it be fun to have one episode that brought some of those together. This is our You Do You episode.

Stay tuned for lots of fun thoughts on overcoming the stigmas that hold us back, the power to change our circumstances, samples on what it looks like to customize your life, and let’s create our own magic as we live our own bright, magical, individual lives.

Sometimes our lives are unexpected - always. In fact if was this very question “Did your life turn out as you expected” that was the first Love Your Story research project. 19 out of 20 peoples lives did NOT turn out as they expected. That’s perfectly normal.

But as we seek to live our own big lives - as we struggle to find our way, often times there are a couple things we must accept: 1. We need to accept who we are fully (accept and love ourselves) and where we’ve been (all the good and the bad. All the blessings and the set-backs). 2. We are responsible for creating the life we want for ourselves. No one else gets to be blamed for what we create or don’t create. 3. Our life experiences, talents and the things that light us up qualify us to do what we came to do and be who we came to be. Your magic and living into what you love will help you live big.

Tune into the audio program to hear the clips highlighted below.

Here is a clip from episode 104 with Taunia Dawn Terry and a bit about how she found her path. Our experience gives us insight that makes us uniquely qualified to do certain things.

You can change when you don’t like where you are at. What she called the divine right not to settle. And as we change and grow we come to know ourselves better and what works for us.

One of the road blocks we run into as we navigate our culture and desire to be accepted is that of what others think of us. Here is a clip from Laurann Turner’s story in episode 127, where she talks about this struggle for her and coming to understand that she didn’t want to settle. As she became aware of the control other’s approval had on her, she could also shift instead of stay stuck.

To live our full destiny, or simply to create our own happiness, there is the novel idea of taking it a step further - actually thinking outside the box of cultural, familial, religions, etc. expectation to find a path that works for us - an individual solution - even if it deviates. Here is Rebecca Dahl in episode 132 and our discussion about the book Deviate. This illustrates the idea in a super interesting way.

At the core of everything we are talking about customizing our lives. In episode 133 I spoke with Erik and Emily Orton about their 5000 mile trip across the Caribbean and how they got there and what it took to go the distance in this radical customization.

Marvin Cassler, as you’ll hear, is the premier example of living everyday in a very unconventional way. His example of thinking outside the box in order to live life on his own terms, is one of the most radical I’ve heard.

What does You Do You look like to you? Is it sailing the Caribbean, living in a storage shed, creating a marriage on unusual terms, or quitting a job and starting over? Is it learning more about you so you know what you want to create? Is it creating courage to do it your way despite the expectations of others?

I truly believe that we are all individual lights. We all have our own set of talents, skills, natural ways of being, and that color and magic that we are is needed in the world. When we don’t live true to ourselves we stunt...

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Episode 204: A Look at Adapting - Interview Kimber Cross Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast where we sit around this technological campfire and share stories of doing hard and fabulous things, shining a light on overcoming road blocks for living our best lives on purpose.

Today’s guest, Kimber Cross, is an adaptive athlete from Tacoma, Washington. Born without fingers on her right hand, Kimber didn’t let that slow her down. From the time she was young her athletic spirit always found a way. Today Kimber is an avid alpinist who climbs routes up the volcanoes of the Northwest, as well as peaks of the Cascades and Olympics. The past 3 years she’s been focused on ice climbing using a custom prosthetic Petzl ice tool. Stay tuned for her story of what it was like growing up without fingers on your right hand, how she’s adapted and excelled, and what she’s learned from the journey.

Tune in to the audio program to hear Kimber's experiences as she shows us what it looks like to adapt.

To follow Kimber:

Instagram: @kimberbelle

We all have obstacles in our individual lives. These obstacles are as individual to each of us as our lives are. Some of these obstacles are more obvious to others - like not having a hand, while other obstacles may be deep grief, loss, hidden abuse, depression, anxiety, etc. etc. These challenges make us stronger as we face them. Could Kimber have played small and afraid, not risking, feeling handicapped. Trying to stay hidden? She could have, and so can we as we face our obstacles, but we also have the much better choice to square our shoulders, look straight at the challenge, and one day at a time, one choice at a time, get strong. It’s always a choice.

Your challenge for this week is to consider the something in your life you need to gain some strength around. That thing you know gives you lots of growth opportunities, and take one strengthening step toward it and away from a story that limits you.

Thanks for being here with us today. We’ll see you in 2 weeks for the next fabulous episode. Go live big!

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Episode 203: Today You Choose - It's all about Family: Interview Jason Martin This is Your Captain Speaking - Life Lessons from the Journey So Far Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. How often have you thought about the importance of intentionally making your family - the people you love - the most important thing in your life? Not just in word and intention, but in actuality? On today’s show I’m talking with Jason Martin, the author or This is your Captain Speaking - Life Lessons from the Journey so far. As I read his book it was easy to sum up the entire premise - Make Your Family Your Top Priority, and the intentionality of making memories, recording memories, sharing memories with loved ones. In this heartwarming book he wrote to his family, Jason Martin takes us on a journey inside his life as a husband, father, provider, and a family leader. You will watch as he shows you how to create a life filled with memories that your children will remember for the rest of their lives. By creating a legacy built on the foundations of love, hope, and gratitude, your family will learn critical life lessons to become the best versions of everything they can be. —-This is what we are all about on the Love Your Story podcast - intentionally creating the life we want on purpose. Stay tuned for my discussion with Jason - the Captain of his family, and I think you’ll leave with some ideas for your own intentional family living. Jason Martin has not experience as a writer, in fact he failed copy editing in college, but he is a believer in dreams and stretching. He is a former sports anchor and currently runs one of the most successful real estate teams in Washington D.C., but above all, his family is his #1 priority. He and his wife Jennifer have 3 human children and a dog named Scooby, and together they live a fun, wild, everyday normal life. Jason writes this book specifically to his family, addressing them in unexpected places. There is not question we are peaking into a compilation he wrote for his family, but in that compilation we see what it looks like to put family first. There is no doubt he wishes to teach, support and leave a legacy for his kids. Tune in to the audio program to hear my discussion with Jason. You don't want to miss it. You start out your book with “Anyone who knows me will tell you that above all else comes family.” Let’s start out with why…. To contact Jason or buy his book: todayyouchoose.com jason@jasonmartingroup.com https://www.amazon.com/This-Your-Captain-Speaking-Lessons/dp/1954801009/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1625763215&sr=8-2 The last section of this book has a list of 9 final lessons. I wanted to end with 3 of them that I liked. #1 - Consistency: Consistency is required for success in life. As you create your best life story on purpose be consistent with those things that really matter. Consistently be there - show up. Consistently be kind. Consistently listen. Consistently sit down and tackle that project. Intentionality requires consistency. #2 What you tell yourself matters - here we are back to the idea that the stories you tell yourself are the most powerful stories you will ever tell. If your self-talk is uplifting and supportive you’ll fly. #3 Ideas to Action - as you intentionally plan what you want in your story you’ll start with an idea. If you don’t put that idea into action it won’t happen. So remember, intentionally living requires you to take action. Even if it takes years to show up. Your challenge for this week is to think about your family. Think about the priority they are for you and see if your actions are aligned with where that priority sits in your mind and heart. All these ideas we’ve discussed today are ideas you can teach your family. Kids and help parents understand new ideas and parents should absolutely teach children how to live intentionally. If there is something you can tweak this week to help your kids learn...

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Episode 202: Challenge #19 Meditation: Interview Andrea Carver We create. Everyday we create connection, chaos, possibility, drama, conversation, expectations, money, homes, relationships, works of art, friction, love, stories, or we don’t…

Our power lies in our ability to direct our life story with every choice and every thought.

Welcome to the 21 Challenges - 21 life hacks that have been set up to help you connect, take care of self, create possibility, and get out of the dol drums.

This series of podcasts highlights the challenges one-by-one to give you background on why the challenge was included in the 21, a deeper understanding of the concept itself, and ideas on how to implement it. These simple challenges create big ah-ha’s and leave you with some great new tools to play with.

Today we focus on Challenge #19 - Meditate. Take 20 minutes to meditate today. Find a quiet place, quiet your mind, focus on your breathing and let everything rest for the moment.

It has been proven that those who meditate regularly have increased energy, increased presence of mind, and even increased health and intellect. There are many forms of meditation. For this challenge, choose one that works for you, but the idea is that you will absolutely, definitely, spend 20 minutes slowing down and trying it out.

As a special gift and guest today I’m bring your Andrea Carver, a long time meditator and meditation specialist.

Tune into the audio program to hear the answers to questions such as:

Why meditate?

What does meditating look like?

There are so many types of meditation. What types do you suggest?

What do you find when you meditate?

Some thoughts/quotes on meditation:

“Your goal is not to battle with the mind, but to witness the mind.”

– Swami Muktananda

“Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.”

– Thich Nhat Hahn

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."

-- Buddha

"Nowhere can man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than in his own soul." --Marcus Aurelius

Andrea Carver provides a 15 minuted guided meditation in the audio program to help you get started.

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Episode 201: Iditarod Trail Invitational - 350 Miles of Self-Sustained Running in the Alaskan Wilderness: Interview - Austin Hansen The Iditarod Trail Invitational is the world's longest running winter ultra-marathon.

One of the most challenging experiences on the planet, participants brave extreme physical, environmental and mental challenges as they travel along the historic Iditarod Trail on bicycle, foot or skis. Requiring self-sufficiency and the considerable resilience to make it through up to 30 frozen days and nights, the Iditarod Trail Invitational has built its reputation on notoriously inhospitable conditions and minimal outside support.

For its participants, the Iditarod Trail Invitational is a measure of human willpower like no other.

On today’s show I bring you Austin Hansen, a man who was not only invited, but succeeded in completing the Iditarod Trail Invitational 350 this year in 2021 - thats 350 Miles of self-sustained, snow laden, torture, in my book.

Tune in to the audio program to hear about his adventure, the reasons he does it, and what he’s learned.

Austin Hansen has spent the last 5 years running marathons - 15 marathons, 8 Ultras, and 3 full triathlons, but this year he took a giant step into Winter Ultra Marathons. Welcome to the show.

To contact Austin:

Instagram: austwhansen

Email: austinHansen8@gmail.com

While we may not all be ready to hop a plane to Alaska to traverse the frozen tundra for hundreds of miles unsupported, we each have challenging paths. Hearing stories of how people embrace these types of physical challenges serve as motivation and example for what it looks like to really put your whole heart and soul into self-discipline, focus, pushing yourself, and being strong when everything in you wants to quit. For one person it may be on a physical level, for another it may be emotional or mental, sometimes it’s both. Thank you Austin for sharing your storyl.

Your challenge this week is to look at the biggest challenge in your life right now and think about what you’ve heard today. How can you stay the path?

Have a great week and as we sign off, here’s a word from the show sponsor, the 21-Life Connection Challenges that can help you and people your work with, live with, or play with join together for personal growth and connection:

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Episode 200: Use Your Stories to Find Your Ideal Career - Interview Kerri Twigg The Love Your Story podcast is about loving your story on all levels. Today we explore a new level - how to use story to find your best and most satisfying career - and we’ll start with the stories we tell about ourselves….no really, not just in theory and how those stories affect our self confidence, but these stories are the foundation for The Career Stories Method, by Kerri Twigg, as she helps us narrow in on the career stories we have and how to use them to get into your ideal work.

My interview with Kerri takes a look at her 11 step method for finding or creating your perfect career, and how to use your stories in your cover letter, resume, and online postings.

Before I interview authors I always try to read their books to make sure they are a good fit for my audience and that their work is legit. I got Kerri’s book - The Career Stories Method, from her PR firm 2 weeks ago, and while I was not sure I’d make it through it in time for the interview I jumped in. As I read I discovered that the steps were interesting, thought provoking, and I started doing the work and considering my own stories as I read along. I’ve sticky notes poking out of many pages and I’ve got my 3x5 cards with my stories in a little stack. She’s legit.

Kerri Twigg is the founder and operator of Career Stories. Though courses and coaching she helps people use their stories to grow their careers, or find their ideal work. She’s worked for 20 years helping people find out what makes them awesome and how that helps their career.

“A resume is where you put your most incredible stories in one place in order to open up opportunities.” —Kerri Twigg on her Ted Talk

Tune into our interview for the 11 Steps to finding your ideal career and for my talk with Kerri about her story.

To contact Kerri:

www.career-stories.com

TEDx Talk - Burn Your Old Resume

Her Book: The Career Stories Method: 11 Steps to Find Your Ideal Career - and Discover Your Awesome Self in the Process

I love a couple things about the Career Story Method. The first is that it’s a process of discovering your awesome self. It guides us through a detailed look at the things we really shine at, and that’s a fun journey. The second is the focus on the power of story, which is, of course, what this entire podcast is set up for, to help remind you how important our stories our - our stories, the ones we tell ourselves about ourselves, about other people, about our lives and situations. These will bring us happiness or misery. Stories help us illustrate to others our experience and help others share with us their experiences - it’s how we find our way down the human path. Kerri has methodized a way to using your stories to bless you and your path. She says she does this process every year, and encourages us to do the same. I found it a very interesting process, I’d recommend it. Especially if you need a change, but even if you don’t it helps you really dial in on what you’re good at. - And who doesn’t want a little more of that.

See you in two weeks for the next episode of the Love Your Story podcast.

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Episode 199: Challenge #16 - Free HugsWe create. Everyday we create connection, chaos, possibility, drama, conversation, expectations, money, homes, relationships, works of art, friction, love, stories, or we don’t… Our power lies in our ability to direct our life story with every choice and every thought. Welcome to the 21 Challenges - 21 life hacks that have been set up to help you connect, take care of your beautiful self, create possibility, and get out of the dol drums. This series of podcasts highlights the challenges one-by-one to give you background on why the challenge was included in the 21, a deeper understanding of the concept itself, and ideas on how to implement it. These simple challenges create big ah-ha’s and leave you with some great new tools to play with. Today we focus on Challenge # 16 - Give Free Hugs…stay tuned for some loving, touching, feeling. Let’s start out with some wisdom from Oprah. Love that lady. She said, “When you make loving others the story of your life, there’s never a final chapter, because the legacy continues. You lend your light to one person and he or she shines it on another and another and another. And I know for sure that in the final analysis of our lives—when the to-do lists are no more, when the frenzy is finished, when our email inboxes are empty—the only. Thing that will have any lasting value is whether we’ve loved others and whether they loved us.” During the Covid upheaval touch became a thing carefully guarded. That makes this challenge even more pertinent now because we are all a little touch deprived…. even if you have to get creative. In a world where we can feel alone in a sea of a million people, the chance to hold another’s hand or to be hugged, can be a gift, an anchor, a place where for that moment you are not alone. For that moment you are joining forces. A hug is a human action that allows us to connect, communicate, and exchange energy in a meaningful way. For however long the moment lasts we are unafraid to touch, and that is a beautiful moment; and important moment. In fact, science shows it’s an absolutely crucial moment that must be repeated often. In Greater Good Magazine, out of Berkley, an article called, Why Physical Touch Matters for our Well Being said, “The science of touch came of age in the mid-1990s, when two scientists traveled to Romania to examine the sensory deprivation of children in understaffed orphanages. The touch-deprived children, they found, had strikingly lower cortisol and growth development levels for their age group. From the time we are in the womb through our elderly years, touch plays a primary role in our development and physical and mental well-being. New studies on touch continue to show the importance of physical contact in early development, communication, personal relationships, and fighting disease. Although the therapeutic benefits have become increasingly clear, scientists argues that, thanks to no-touch policies in schools and the isolating effects of cell phones and computers, (and now Covid) Americans are touching each other less.” That makes this challenge even more important. In that article, they had some specific research on hugging: “They injected a cold germ into these people who were in the study, and those who had more hugs had a better immune response to the cold virus. (So, touch helps us fight disease.) And then [there are] some studies showing that if you get hugged by your partner before a stressful condition like giving a speech or doing math problems, people do better. Performance is better if they’ve been hugged by a partner before the stress.” In 2016, I found myself in Ohio doing this emotional intelligence training I speak of so often. Let me tell you about my experience setting up a Free Hugs stand. Tune in to hear that story... We come programmed to hold onto one another. We arrive hardwired to grasp hands and give hugs, and if we are lucky

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Episode 198: She Made a Difference for a LivingSomeone at the memorial service on Monday referred to her as a homespun philanthropist, though I doubt she would have liked that description. Her wit was too sharp to fit the mellow image of homespun. As for philanthropist? She once said, “That’s such a pretentious word.” Welcome back to the Love Your Story podcast. The clip I’ve just shared comes from a woman’t obituary that died probably 25 years ago. So many years ago, I can’t remember the date, I ripped an article out of the Boston Globe newspaper called, “She made a difference for a living.” The article is yellowed and brittle, and if I had to guess I’d say it’s around 25 years old. Stay tuned in today’s episode for how Elizabeth Noyce became a one-woman economic development corporation in the 80’s and 90’s, without the Internet, and see what her story means to you. When Elizabeth Noyce died Ellen Goodman of the Boston Globe wrote an article that highlighted her life. I’ve been through many a business class where we are asked to write our own obituary and what we want to be known for/what our business wants to be known for, so we can plan now and reverse engineer what we do. I doubt that Elizabeth Noyce did this, but I’m sure any of us would be very pleased indeed to have a write-up like this done about us after we pass. Elizabeth Noyce was as unpretentious as her adopted state of Maine. She could walk down … Tune into the audio program to hear the rest of the article. One of the reasons we share stories is to show how things can be done. Stories are used to inspire, to initiate deeper thought, to shine a light on things. Today’s story of a woman’s life who lived decades earlier, shines a light on moral fiber, on the extraordinary, on a person who created good in the world on purpose, who forsook her own limelight living for the more understated. You may be thinking, “Sure, If I had millions of dollars I could do good too.” But I have to ask…would you, maybe you would? But now, right now we still have a responsibility to do good. We always have something to work with. We can always do good in our communities - This story is just a reminder to check in with yourself - are you caught in “he who has the most toys wins” mindset? Are you stuck in what’s in it for me? Is looking good and being in the limelight more important than doing good? As Elizabeth Noyce said, we can all just hope to make a little difference in our own communities. Are you creating peace, support for community and neighbors, hope and positive energy? Are you, if you are able, creating abundance for others in positive ways, or are you caught up in the fear, violence, the frantic stretch for control that permeates the neighborhoods and mindsets across the country? Might I suggest that for a living, in our own individual ways, that we intentionally strive to make a positive difference. Choose light, choose love, choose growth, choose goodness. Choose sharing. In order to create a greater more positive connection, I’ve created the 21 Life Connection Challenges - Group Style. Do you have a group you’re involved in that wants a fun way to connect and create good in their lives and in the world? Thanks for being here today. Live Big! Live Intentional. Live Well.

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Episode 197: Challenge #14 - 22 Minutes of Focus: Time Blocking and Momentum We create. Everyday we create connection, chaos, possibility, drama, conversation, expectations, money, homes, relationships, works of art, friction, love, stories, or we don’t…

Our power lies in our ability to direct our life story with every choice and every thought.

Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast and the 21 Life Connection Challenges - 21 life hacks that have been set up to help you connect, take care of your fabulous self, create possibility in your life, and get out of the dol drums.

This series of podcasts highlights the challenges one-by-one, gives you background on why the challenge was included in the 21 chosen challenges, a deeper understanding of the concept itself, and ideas on how to implement it. These simple challenges create big ah-ha’s and leave you with some great new tools to play with.

Today we focus on Challenge #14 - this one is about getting off that couch, getting that stone rolling down the mountain, the push that starts the momentum. You’ll love this life-hack.

Challenge 14 is to choose one of the projects in your life that you have been putting off and devote 22 minutes of time to focus on that project. Set a timer and rock n roll.

I have two words for you -

Time blocking

Momentum

Back in 2016 I was fresh into the idea of learning how to podcast. When I was setting up the Love Your Story podcast I had to learn how to use the equipment, organize content, find my way through the mountain of to-dos… I would get stuck. Stuck because of the overwhelm.

This past year 2020, when I was creating the 21-Life Connection Challenges and creating the group platform we just launched so more people could connect and learn from the challenges, I hit the same wall. There is so much to do, to plan, to organize. I’d wake up some mornings filled with anxiety and not sure where to start, then I’d end up pushing things I didn’t want to do, mostly because I wasn’t sure how to do them, or there was a fear of failure attached, so I’d push them to the bottom of the list.

When I can see this happening, I know for me that the only way out of it is to time block.

Instead of feeling like if I jump in I’m going to get lost and never get out. Or fearing that I’m going to be in the pain of uncharted territory indefinitely, I break my time into chunks.

I will work on X for 30 minutes. I will then work on Y for 1 hour. I will then work on Z for 45 minutes. This helps me to wade in, get going, and for some reason that “out” on the other side of my timer gives me solace.

Today’s challenge is to choose something you’ve been putting off - something on that pile of things to do - is it a work deal, a garage that needs cleaning, a bill that needs dealing with, a conversation that needs to happen, an idea that needs your complete attention to work through it? ….Give it a moment and that thing will come to you.

Now, get things set up, and set your timer for 22 minutes and jump all in.

Let me share some examples from one of our recent challenge groups:

Bernadette said, “I totally blew this one. I decided to spend some time on family history. I set the timer, started my task, and the timer went off in due course. Three and a half hours later... I was still making great progress.😂”

This is a great example of momentum. Sometimes when the ball gets rolling that 22 minutes doesn’t matter any more.

Mel said, “I am a self proclaimed organized person. My house is tidy. Everything in the house has a place or what I call a home, or it doesn’t get to stay long. However, over the past 11 years I’ve held onto baby items from both children and now it’s time to start purging the baby item totes. I used my 22 minutes to reorganize and pass along three totes worth of items. Some will go to a girlfriend expecting a baby girl in February and the other stack will go to a Guatemalan Humanitarian project....

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Episode 196: A Story of Rape and Healing - Interview Janiel Green What you see when you look at Janiel Green, the creator of Culture Trekking, is hundreds of beautiful photos of her travels all over the world. She is snorkeling in beautiful blue waters, and standing on top of mountains. She’s laughing at the camera with her beautiful smile, but the story always goes deeper. Culture Trekking was created by this vivacious young woman as a way to survive a brutal rape. When it came time to choose between accepting her fear as the new status quo of her life or making a strategic choice to choose love and connection with people around the world through travel, she chose the later.

Janiel is a physician’s Assistant, a survivor, and the creator of the YouTube Channel and website called Culture Trekking, dedicated to inspiring people to explore through cultural connections and sustainable adventures. She’s a dog lover - she has two - Finn and Zoey, and of course, she travels in her free time.

Tune into the audio program for my interview with Janiel and hear her story of rape and healing. Beware of candid discussion regarding sexual trauma.

To connect with Janiel:

Culturetrekking.com

Youtube.com/c/cutlruetrekking

Facebook.com/CultureTrekking

Instagram.com/CultureTrekking

Twitter.com/CultureTrekking

One of the things Janiel wrote is, “When you let go of the illusion of control, things will happen to you like a tsunami wave, there is still goodness in the world you just have to be open to receiving it.

Thanks for being here for this week’s show. We’ll see you in two weeks for the next episode of the Love Your Story podcast. If you liked this episode, please leave us a quick review on your app. It’s good Karma to support.

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Episode 195: Challenge #12 Challenge #12 - Give someone in your SOI hardy encouragement for something they are doing. Do what you can to forward their agenda.

We create. Everyday we create connection, chaos, possibility, drama, conversation, expectations, money, homes, relationships, works of art, friction, love, stories, or we don’t…

Our power lies in our ability to direct our life story with every choice and every thought.

Today we focus on Challenge #12 - which is: Give someone in your sphere of influence hardy encouragement for something they are doing. Do what you can to forward their agenda.

Tune in for how giving really is the key to receiving.

A few years back a read a book called Love is the Killer App. It espoused the novel idea that the very most successful way to do business was to actually help other people. When you interview a client, spoke with an associate, met someone new, the first thing you do is consider what you know, who you know, what books you’ve read, …you search your arsenal of value and see what you can give to the other person to support them where they are at. GIVE. Do you know someone you could introduce them to that would further their agenda? Have you read a book that would support what they are currently working on? Have you found a digital tool that would support their forward movement?

In a world where people are always pushing their own agenda, this was novel, fresh, pioneering.

Tune in to hear the excerpt from that book....

Let me share some personal experiences.

I have been in many networking groups, training groups, and entrepreneurial support style groups. When I need something as simple as a review for the podcast, let’s say, and I put that out to the group, I’m always surprised at how difficult it is for people to even give a few easy minutes to support someone else’s agenda. They all show up hoping someone will give them the next best client, but they aren’t willing to support one another. It’s been interesting for me to watch. Even people who commit to leaving a podcast review, in this example, often won't follow through, in my experience. It makes it easy to make a splash in a room like this when you go in willing to support them.

The end of 2019 I invited a group of influencers together to share what they were about with the express intent that each person who attended would see what they could do to move the others’ agendas forward. It wasn’t about pushing your own agenda, it was about seeing what you could do to help others, but at the same time, the very nature of this sharing made it so your own agenda would be focused on by others also. It’s amazing how much getting connected to the right person or business can help. How an idea you hadn’t thought of can change things for you because someone else did a little brainstorming with you. We really don’t do this alone. But when you come at it from how can I help instead of how can you help me, you actually get both with a lot more success.

During Christmas I throw a retreat for my sister and sister in-laws. This past year we were doing a round table and sharing what we were about for 2021. I was talking about the new 21 Challenges Group platform that was launching and my dear sister in-law says, if you need help selling your book, I can do that. Those beautiful words are just the sort of thing

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Episode 194: Do the Work to HealInterview Andrea CarverWelcome back to the Love Your Story podcast…if you are a regular listener to this podcast you know how the stories you tell yourself create your reality. That’s what the whole Love Your Story movement is about —helping you to realize and take control of your life stories. Wayne Dyer said, “Be open to everything and attached to nothing.” This is key as we do work with our own stories. Today I have a treat for you. Andrea Carver is here on the show. She is a Craniosacral Therapist who has been practicing for 30 years. The heart of her work as a therapist is a spiritual understanding of the unlimited potential for growth of the human spirt and as she has done her work over the past 3 decades, she hears stories every day that are similar to each other….limiting stories that need to be reframed. Stay tuned for our interview and to learn a few skills for taking old stories and shifting them into empowering ones. Let’s be open to everything and attached to nothing, and we’ll see where we land… Tune into the audio program to hear answers to questions like: You said that the same script you hear from people is that they have had negative experiences that happened to them in their past, those experiences helped them create a story that they tell themselves (their perceived reality) and then the spend their life looking for proof to validate these stories. Tell us some of those stories. How do you take an old story -something ugly and damaging - and make it an incredible learning experience filled with wisdom and enlightenment? During the past year we have all been staying home more, connecting less, touching less and dealing with the resulting anxiety, depression and stress that comes when humans can’t be the social beings they are - and of course the stress of the unknown that surrounds the pandemic. Well, now we have to deal with the mental and emotional aftermath. What do you suggest for us all to deal with this Covid backlash? You have trained under some really impressive people - Deepak Chopra and Byron Katie…what was that like? What did you learn?

To contact Andrea: 1andreawellness@gmail.com https://www.andreawellness.com Deepak Chopra said, “Quit trying to fight the darkness and look for more light.” As we conclude I think this a fitting stair to step out on…as we consider our stories and how they are holding us back, let us all be less resistant to changing them. Let us look for the light and the learning that comes from the shift, rather than struggling in the dark. Your challenge this week is to identify one story in your life that you know is holding you back. Shifting our stories is often something we cannot do alone. We need guidance and help because we are so stuck in our own way of seeing the world. We think how we see things is fact. Well, if you need help meeting this challenge You can go to http://loveyourstorypodcast.com (loveyourstorypodcast.com) and find Andrea’s contact information in the show notes, but I also suggest that you listen to the 5 Steps to Reframing your story - that is episode 46-50, each episode deals with one of the 5 steps for reframing your story. Excellent for walking you through all the steps as you do the work. Thanks for being here today. We are so happy to be able to provide you with tools. We hope you will use them in the way that best serves you. We’ll see you in two weeks. If you enjoyed the show, please leave a review on whatever platform you listen on! Caio

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Episode 193: Think Unbroken - Interview with Michael Anthony Michael Anthony was born to a hyper-abusive drug addict mother who cut his finger off when he was 4-years-old, a step father you pray you never have, and a racist grandmother who pushed him into an identity crisis. By the time he was 9 his family was often homeless, certainly living in poverty, and he was eventually adopted by his grandmother. He turned to drugs and alcohol to survive the continued abuse.

There is a lot more to Michael’s story… he is now the author of the best-selling book Think Unbroken.… despite learning disabilities and not graduation high school on time, Michael found success in corporate America in his early twenties. But, he says, success only made things worse. He found himself morbidly obese, high and drunk daily and ultimately self-sabataging everything around him. It wasn’t until he decided to do whatever it took to heal from his childhood trauma that his life really began.

TUNE INTO THE AUDIO PROGRAM TO HEAR MY INTERVIEW WITH MICHAEL and such topics as:

I want to start out with your story - because that’s what we do here - we tell stories. Take us back to your childhood. What are some of your main memories?
You said you had a mirror moment where you chose to do what it took to heal. Tell us about that moment.
How do you think healing begins?
How do we think unBroken?
What is the one thing we can do right now to create a mindset shift?
You work as a coach, mentor and educator for adult survivors of child abuse. You say you help survivors get out of the vortex. What does that mean?
Tell us about the Unbroken podcast and Think Unbroken Academy.

Final tips for rebuilding yourself after abuse.

Childhood abuse and trauma is a topic we have hit on in only a few episodes. I remember the one where his father tried to kill him because he thought he was a prophet, like Abraham, who had to kill his son…but I’m grateful for Michael’s story, and his work. Think Unbroken was created out of necessity - as so many things are. But the beauty of those creations is that it provides resources for people who need them. What was he willing to do to become the hero of his story? What are you willing to do to be the hero/heroine you want to be in your story?

The journey to healing is long and difficult for even the toughest of warriors. Childhood trauma and abuse take so much energy to overcome, and one of the best tools in your arsenal is a support system that you can leverage when the going gets tough. Contact information for Michael and Think Unbroken, is in the show notes on www.loveyourstorypodcast.com

If you are in a space where healing is needed, that’s not a place of shame, that’s a place of growth. Create the life story that you want, on purpose. You can do it.

Thanks for being here today. If you like the show, please leave us a review and share us with your friends. We’ll see you in two weeks for the next episode.

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Episode 192: Challenge 11: Say YES to something you would usually say no to. We create. Everyday we create connection, chaos, possibility, drama, conversation, expectations, money, homes, relationships, works of art, friction, love, stories, or we don’t…

Our power lies in our ability to direct our life story with every choice and every thought.

Today we focus on Challenge #11 - To say YES to something you would usually say NO to. Stay tuned for stretching into YES! This IS a good one.

Let me just start off by stating the obvious. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Keep saying no to the things you habitually say no to, and nothing new is going to move into your life.

In 2016 my friend and colleague Sally walked into my office. “You’ve GOT to go to this emotional intelligence training I just finished,” she proclaimed. I laughed at her, because in fact she’d just indicated I needed emotional intelligence training. I retorted “I HAVE to, do I?”

“Yes,” she said unapologetically, “You really have to work through your issues with men.”

Blunt as she was I was also aware of this fact and so I asked her to tell me more. As she spoke I decided I would look into it. I would say “Yes.” It involved buying airline tickets to fly across the country, the fees to sign up for the conference, paying for a motel/air bnb and Uber…and I was a single mom trying to support my family, but I said yes because in my gut I knew I was stuck, and while I would usually say no to the extra expenditure, I decided to say YES.

This saying Yes changed everything for me. After a year of training, repeated trips across the country, a transition into coaching, I found my way through the walls that I’d been stuck behind. I found my next step forward, a path that brings me to you today on the airwaves of podcast love. Saying ‘Yes’ changed everything for me.

When Gandolf invited Bilbo on an adventure, how did saying YES change his life, his understanding, his experience…. Can you even imagine the adventure lost, the change of the story if the protagonist says ‘no’ and sits in the shire? The story dissolves, and certainly his part in saving middle earth is no longer.

If you love a mystery, remember, you never know where saying YES is going to take you. Me seldom realize the moments that will change our lives. You don’t know when that YES will start of chain of events that saves the world. You don’t know….that’s the adventure of it all.

Why do this challenge:

Remember the movie “Yes Man?” In it Jim Carrey takes an oath to say yes to everything that comes up, to everything anyone asks him to do. The movie is the tale of how his life drastically changes and all the adventures that happen because he is willing to say yes to new things - giving a homeless man money, taking flying lessons, going on a date, throwing a bridal shower…by saying yes to all these things he creates a life that is 180 degrees different from the one he lived before and it opened up finding love, connecting with people, seeing and doing things he’d never done.

That’s the idea here, but rather than saying yes to everything, all you have to do is choose one thing today to say yes to - but it has to be something you would usually have said no to. Then, you can keep saying yes if you want, but...

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Episode 191: A Tool for Testing Conspiracy Theories - Interview Jeannie Banks Thomas I don’t know about you, but every day my husband comes home and informs me of the latest conspiracy theory he’s heard around the water cooler at work. About how the government is collapsing, the political parties are behind any number of heinous crimes, and of course that the constitution is hanging by a thread. Corona virus was created to get us all chipped through vaccines, and the powers that be are scheduled to shut down all business they don’t agree with through a manipulation of social media and the world’s banking structure. This was just last week…

So, when I attended a lecture this past week, by Jeannie Banks Thomas, a professor of Folklore at Utah State University, and she provided a tool for honing in on Your Legend, Rumor, and Conspiracy Theory Detectors, I thought I’d get her on the show so the general public could use this acronym she calls SLAP - S L A P to determine the likelihood that the rumor is true.

Stay tuned for some very helpful talk about legends, rumors and conspiracy theory’s during a time where we have more of these than we can begin to process.

Jeannie Banks Thomas is a folklorist and a Fellow of the American Folklore Society. She is the author or co-author of several books including Putting the Supernatural in Its Place (2015); Haunting Experiences (2007); Naked Barbies, Warrior Joes, and Other Forms of Visible Gender (2003); and Featherless Chickens, Laughing Women, and Serious Stories (1997). Two of her books have won international prizes. She is the co-director of USU’s Digital Folklore Project, which names the #DigitalTrendoftheYear, and she is an award-winning teacher. Additionally, her scholarly work has appeared in the Journal of American Folklore, Western Folklore, Journal of Folklore Research, Midwestern Folklore, and Contemporary Legend, among other journals. She is a professor at Utah State University.

Welcome Jeannie to the Love Your Story podcast

Listen in to the audio program for my discussion with Jeannie.

1. Why is a folklorist such a good person to address this topic?

What brought you to this area of research recently?
You have a tool for rapidly getting a sense of the veracity of legends, rumors and conspiracy theories, tell us what it is.

SLAP

-S is for “Scare” Test

L is for “Logistics” Test A is for “A-List” Test

P is for “Prejudice” Test

What websites can people check

Sooooo timely. With all the fake news and the open rumor venue of the internet, with all the dissension politically and the fear and rumor about sickness and apocalyptic revving, this voice of reason is a tool to help you not get pulled into false stories - which of course, the human race is famous for. It’s a tool to help you sort.

Your challenge this week is to apply it to one of the rumors you hear and see how well it works.

If you’re interested in signing your group up for the 21 Challenges….here’s a word from our sponsor….Insert

See you in two weeks for the Love Your Story podcast.

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Episode 190: Challenge #9 – Take Someone to Lunch We create. Everyday we create connection, chaos, possibility, drama, conversation, expectations, money, homes, relationships, works of art, friction, love, stories, or we don’t…

Our power lies in our ability to direct our life story with every choice and every thought.

This series of podcasts highlight the challenges one-by-one, give you background on why the challenge was included in the 21 chosen challenges in the first place, provides a deeper understanding of the concept itself, and shares ideas on how to implement it. These simple challenges create big ah-ha’s and leave you with some great new tools to play with.

Today we focus on Challenge 9. Take someone to lunch. Stay tuned for yummy talk.

When goldilocks carefully turned the door nob on the cottage of the three bears, she was just looking for a little food. Too hot? Too cold? Just right? If you’ve spent much time alone, you know a meal isn’t just right unless you’re sharing it with good company. And, if there’s one thing we all understand, it’s the power of a good meal. Mix the two - good company and good food, and it’s magic. My friends and I call it Breaking Bread Together.

One year I did a cleanse. The premise was no food, but all the water (and a few mix-ins) that you wanted. What I noticed from the experience is that we humans spend A LOT of time focused on food. When we don’t have to eat, we get a lot more time to do other things- no lunch breaks or dinner hour, no grocery shopping, no meal planning, and interestingly, much less socializing. Suddenly I had an extra 4 hours in the day. A lot of our lives are spent connecting over food.

Welcome to Challenge #9 of the 21 Life Connection Challenges. Hopefully you’ve already tested 8 of the life hacks and you’ve already had some interesting experiences and some ah-ha moments. How do I know you’ve had some good stuff happen? Because everyone who does the challenges whole heartedly does. Yes, everyone. Keep up the good work! You’re one of the doers in this world.

Challenge #9, Take Someone to Lunch, is based on a three tier idea.

First, we need human connection and eating with friends or people we want to get to know is a casual and fun way to connect. And, you could even take it further. What if you invited the “other” to lunch? Someone with different political ideas, a different religion, a culture you didn’t understand, but could get a peak into over a beautiful lunch? Right now, in our current world of division, this angle creates a possibility of increased understanding and insight.

Second, treating someone is an act of generosity that creates warmth and kindness in the world. Good Karma. By small and simple things are unexpected ripples started, and this act of generosity is one of the those stones thrown into a pond.

Third, we all love good food. Celebrate a delicious moment in your day and make an affair of it. Being present with good food is one of life’s treasures. During Covid and the contemplation of the loss of taste and smell it really brought home the tragedy of no longer enjoying the delight of good food. When I did the interview with one of the first COVID patients in episode _______ and he shared how difficult eating was because he couldn’t taste or smell it, how it changed the nature of eating for him, I realized how tragic such a loss would be.

Good food. Connection. Enjoying the little things and making them a celebration.

This is what we are about today.

Laurie Colwin said, “One of the delights of life is eating with friends; second to that is talking about eating. And, for an unsurpassed double...

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Episode 189: Cuyler Black, Make Loaves, Not War Welcome back to the Love Your Story podcast. We all love a good story and today I bring you a story from one of my favorite cartoonists. Today’s episode features Cuyler Black. It’s story time.

In his ever so humorous, and even joyfully irreverent way, Cuyler Black, a …. Minister, creates stories and comics that bring home important points with humor and humanizing.

Today’s story - Make Loaves, Not War is a little reminder of what Christ meant about living with love and a poignant reminder that in the days of the Romans in Israel, a time of savage occupation, when people felt loyal to their politics, that it was ever so difficult to picture how a Savior could save his people with love.

I think it applies to the very situations we find ourselves in now. Enjoy.

Make Loaves, Not War

On a hilltop, late in the day, the disciples stood around Jesus. They watched as thousands of hungry people dined on five loaves of bread and two fish that had miraculously multiplied while being distributed in baskets among the crowd.

“One guy asked if we multiplied anything for dessert, preferably a light sorbet,” said Nathanael.

Peter snorted. “Where is he? I’ll feed him multiple knuckle sandwiches.”

“Save your knuckles for those Pharisees over there,” muttered Andrew. “Look at them. Standing around trying to figure out how this free buffet violates the Torah.”

“Forget the Pharisees!” said Simon the Zealot. “It’s the Romans I’m looking forward to kicking in the gluteus maximus!” He turned to Jesus. “Rabbi, when does our real training begin?”

“Real training?” said Jesus.

“Yeah! I mean, today’s lesson on how to be waiters isn’t exactly what we signed up for.” Simon looked to the other disciples for confirmation, then spoke to Jesus again. “Look, you’re a natural leader. You’re driven and fearless. Not to mention you can control the weather and drop-kick demons. You’re the Messiah! And we all know you’re planning something big. Revolution! Insurrection against our oppressors! So train us! We’re your hand-picked revolutionaries!”

“We’re totally committed,” said Philip. “We already ordered a bunch of these.” He held up a cap embroidered with the words Make Israel Great Again For the First Time in 900 Years But Who’s Counting?

“And I made this!” said Thomas, unfurling a massive flag emblazoned with the name JESUS. “The flagpole has a spearhead at one end for impaling Roman soldiers!”

“Boys, you don’t understand,” Jesus said. “I didn’t come to incite a violent rebellion against political authority. I’ve got bigger fish to fry.”

“No more fish! We’re stuffed!” groaned a man sitting nearby. “Unless there’s dessert.”

“Look,” Jesus continued. “My kingdom is not of this world. Kingdoms, empires, governments of this world will rise and fall, be good or bad, and even at their best are flawed. They are human constructions. Don’t put faith in them to solve every problem. Instead, put faith in your heavenly Father. Do you remember the prayer I taught you?”

The disciples looked at him with blank stares. Andrew brightened. “Oh, I know! Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the—”

“No,” said Jesus. “That wasn’t from me.” He sighed. “Let me remind you. It starts: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”

“Right! Right!” said Peter. “Then it goes: ‘Give us today our daily bread! Forgive—’”

“Enough bread!” a woman moaned. “Another crumb and I’ll hurl! … But is there dessert?”

Jesus massaged his temples for a moment.“My point is that it’s God’s kingdom you ought to work to establish. Pray for his authority to govern every heart. That’s what I’m here to teach and preach.” He turned to the crowd and raised his voice. “The kingdom of God is near! Repent and believe! Let your heavenly Father rule in your life, that you may love your enemies, bring good news to the poor, comfort the brokenhearted, proclaim

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Episode 188: Own Your Story It’s a fact that some people come through difficult times bitter, broken and cynical, while others emerge wiser, more empathetic and stronger.

I believe the path connecting the two - the journey between the pain and the growth is maybe the most important part of the path.

I have a story - it’s all mine. I write it everyday. Today I may throw in a plot twist as I get ready to change jobs, or free myself from a bad relationship, or adopt a child. I may create a peaceful scene at a coffee shop, because that sounds nice about now. And then maybe I feel like my story needs a little trip to the spa. I love girl spa days. They always look so great in the movies. Maybe I’ll have them put cucumbers on my eyes and cover my face in some gory green mud just so I know what that’s like. That sounds like a fun story to write. Or maybe I want to become an engineer or an opera singer…..hmmmmm what should I write on my life notebook today?

Sometimes, someone else writes something we don’t like. A spouse gets abusive and all the sudden the story takes a dark unexpected turn that I get to frantically try to write myself out of. What about the shameful parts that have been shoved to the bottom of the story, a footnote we want no one to read ever? What about the fear of facing our dreams and failure and daring greatly?

While there are sometimes parts of our story that make us uncomfortable, part of loving your story is learning how to make peace with the bad as well as the good. At the very heart of learning to accept ourselves is learning to accept all the spaces we see as failures, short falls, down right horrible sections, the betrayals, the let-downs, the messy stuff we feel shame about.

This episode about owning your own story is not to focus on the rough spaces, but the rough spaces are a very real part of who we are, how we got to where we are, what we learned and how we see the world. We cannot be whole without the dark threads of our tapestry. So, let’s talk about owning it all!

It’s not a new story. It’s one we all know. You know the one, it’s where a personal loss or tragedy or need takes you to the realm from which you are certain you will never return. It’s the dark-days-of-the-soul story.

I’ve noticed a few things about this part of life.

1 - It’s a sacred space. It’s often a private space, one where the deepest details are kept in our vaults for we can’t bear to show too much humanness, our mistakes, our heart ache, our private travails, our crawling, our moments of shaking our fist at heaven.

2 - That everyone has these. While we may feel we are alone and life has dealt unjustly with us, that no-one in our circles would ever understand, the truth is we must each traverse this path on the hero’s journey, because it is how the hero becomes the hero. It’s an important part of being alive.

The other day I spoke with a man who was absolutely crushed. After years of fighting an addiction and begging God for help, never to receive any additional and heavenly support by his estimation, his world began to crumble. If God wasn’t there to help him beat the very darkness God claims to want to pull us out of, then could God really be there? The idea that his sincerest cries from an aching heart were not enough, not worthy of the ear of God, only exacerbated his hopelessness, and where was he to go if everything he had believed in, his foundation, was not there to support his wobbly heart? His face crumbled in tears and his sobs tore at my heart.

This was a dark day of the soul.

I spoke with a woman who told me of 5 years of going without sleep as she raised 3 toddlers who seemed to never sleep. On her last wits end there were days she would beg God for someone to show up and take care of her children so she could get one night of sleep - but no one came. There were times she would shake her son to get him to be quiet, or hit him, or even kick him when her...

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Episode 187 - Spiritual Gifts: Interview Deb Atella Have you ever wondered what your spiritual gifts are? What is a spiritual gift?

Spiritual gifts are acknowledged as https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Word_of_wisdom (word of wisdom), the https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Word_of_knowledge (word of knowledge), increased https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faith_in_Christianity (faith), the https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gifts_of_healing (gifts of healing), the https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gift_of_miracles (gift of miracles), the gift of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prophecy (prophecy), the https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discernment_of_spirits (discernment of spirits), diverse https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speaking_in_tongues (kinds of tongues), https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interpretation_of_tongues (interpretation of tongues).

I’m still not certain what mine are, but I have noticed and interacted with others who have the spiritual gift of connecting to angels and spiritual communication - the discernment of spirits. In this case, Deb Atella is open to sharing her near death experience and her path to tapping into her intuitive spiritual gifts. I like these stories of finding and figuring out spiritual gifts because it shines a light on how it happens….

Stay tuned to hear her detailed story and how she figured out what her gifts were and how to manage them. And then she shares 3 tips she’s learned for resilient living.

Deb Atella is the creator of the Sisterhood of What Next?! FB group and the host of the soon to be released aTella Like it is podcast. She is an expert at creating morning routines to set your day up for success and joy and an expert in teaching people how to differentiate between their ego running the show and their soul/higher-self/intuition running the show.

Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast.

Let’s start where we always do. What is your story?

In 2005 you had a near death experience and experiences with seeing family members who had passed away. Can you take us back to that story….

TUNE INTO THE AUDIO PROGRAM TO HEAR OUR DISCUSSION AND HEAR THE ANSWERS TO THESE QUESTIONS:

What did that teach you?

So you had spiritual gifts that started to manifest at that time. How did you deal with that?

You started meditating back in 2012, but didn’t make it a habit until 2017. That daily meditation habit led you to creating a clarity and enjoyment of life that you hadn’t experienced before. It also led you to finally opening up to your spiritual gifts that started manifesting in 2005.

How did you embrace those?

So…let’s get to the promised skills. How do we learn resilience? What transition skills can you share with us?

TO CONTACT DEB ATELLA: debatella@gmail.com hideb@deborahatella.com Instagram @deborahatella Facebook @debatella and Sisterhood of What Next?! Website: http://www.deborahatella.com/ (www.deborahatella.com) Be compassionate with yourself, Find stillness and stay in gratitude. These tips are so beautiful for living well.

Your challenge this week is to find spaces to implement these 3 tips. Perhaps as you love on your self and sit still and listen with gratitude, you will find more recognition of your own spiritual gift. It’s also said that we can ask for spiritual gifts - seek after the ones we want. So, that’s a little something to think about. The world needs powerful, gifted souls to walk with light and shine that light on the world. If you feel that call, know that you can seek for and develop your own spiritual gifts.

Remember that 2021 is the year of the 21 Challenges - Group Style. Sign up your group now for a three week ride of connection and fun during a time that we all so badly need it. http://www.loveyourstorypodcast.com (www.loveyourstorypodcast.com) for more info.

See you in two weeks for the next episode.

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Episode 186 What You Focus on Expands The Law of Perpetual Transmutation

If what you focus on expands let’s make damn sure we are focusing on things we want to expand. Do you want your waistline to expand? Do you want your bills to expand? Do you want your ornery neighbor to spend more time staring over your fence? Do you want the effects of COVID to have more power in your life?

Nah….let’s think about things we do want.

What do you think of focusing on the things you CAN do and not the things you CAN’T do? What do you think about focusing on your strengths rather than your weaknesses? How much more fun and productive is that? What do you think about imagining your ideal life, in all aspects, and putting it out there to expand and come into being?

If I focus on my ability to throw a great party and giving people a space to connect in (a strength), rather than beating myself up over not being a great promoter personality (not a gift I possess)- well, one is productive and the other destructive.

Let’s focus on things we want more of….because that’s how we get them.

In 1847 Thomas Edison was born. He was easily distracted in school and he didn’t get good grades. Kids teased him and teachers called him “dim.” He was from a poor family growing up, so he would find ways to make money to buy supplies for his “lab.” He started a newspaper in his teens, the Weekly Herald, and he knew how to focus. Thomas Edison was known as - The Wizard of Menlo Park, and his inventions where called “Edison’s Miracles.” He could boast of over 1000 inventions. The phonograph, the electric lamp, the telegraph improvements, telephone work, batteries, to name only a few. How did he do it? As I studied Thomas Edison’s biography I think “focus” could be the word to best describe him. He was obsessed with his work and would sometimes work 100 hours a week. He didn’t sleep much, and while I don’t advise this, he left his wife on his wedding day to run to his lab and forgot to come back because of his focus on a project. Thomas Edison created a life story that was rich in creation, rich in money - he was a millionaire at age 40 - and rich in accomplishment. Now, he may not have had the best personal relationships because he didn’t focus on those. But he had the life he had because of what he focused on, because he never let that focus on his lab or creations waiver, even when he had failed repeatedly. We all know his quote, “Results? I’ve got a lot of results. I know 50,000 things that won’t work.”

I share this as an easy example of focus. When we focus our time, our heart, our money, and our vision on a thing we can all move mountains. But it’s more than just hard work. Let’s talk about the Law of Perpetual Transmutation. - Law of Perpetual Transmutation As 2020 launched I proclaimed that it was a year where I would study the laws of the universe. I focused on and got around to only one - it was the first one in Leslie Householder’s book Hidden Treasures. Much of what I’ll talk about regarding this law, aside from my personal experiences, come from the things she teaches. I highly recommend her work.

What is the law of Perpetual Transmutation? In a nutshell, it simply means that everything is in the process of either coming into physical form or breaking down and going out of it.

The premise behind this law is one of creation. We actively create with our thoughts all the time. The things we focus on with real intent, belief, and consistency start to manifest and show up in our lives.

There should be a big label stamped on our brains - a big red warning sign. “Dangerous if used in correctly.” Because this works regarding good and bad.

Let’s do a quick exercise -

Look at your life right now. Whatever you have created - whatever you are dealing with - whatever you have, has been formed by your thoughts. You may not have brought all the circumstances into your life, but you have decided how to think about them and how much

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Episode 185: A Story About Life on the Trail - Interview Barney "Scout" Mann Welcome back to the Love Your Story podcast. As you may or may not know I am an avid hiker. I am the author of two editions of The Best Hikes Near Salt Lake City, published by Falcon Guides. I’m the author of Wild Weekends in Utah, and The Best Snowshoe Trails of the Wasatch. Because of my love of being on the trails, in nature, I have harbored secret desires to hike the countries longest trails - the real crow jewels. They are so long though that it takes months to through hike them and it takes a special time - no job, extra money, .… In the end, of course, those are all excuses.

A few years back I hopped on the Appalachian trail and hiked the northern section and climbed the tallest peak in Maine, Mt. Katahdin. - the northern terminus of the trail. I swam naked in a stream and remember being eaten alive by the worst mosquitoes I’ve ever experienced that night in camp. But I sure love that photo on the top Mt, Katahdin.

Well, today we get a fabulous pleasure to hear stories from Barney - trail name Scout - Mann about the Pacific Crest Trail and his book Journeys North.

Tune in for stories of the trail and what it’s like to hike thousands of miles.

Barney Scout Mann is one of the rare individuals who have hiked America’s Triple Crown - The Appalachian, Continental Divide, and Pacific Crest trails. For those of you who are unfamiliar with these trails they are the longest trails in the country. The Pacific Crest Trail is 2650 miles long and covers 26 national forests, 7 national parks, 5 state parks and 3 national monuments. It takes 5 months at an average of 20 miles a day.

The Appalachian Trail is 2180 miles and the Continental Divide Trail is 3100 miles.

On top of that he and his wife Sandy have also hosted thousands of Pacific Crest Trail hopefuls in their San Diego home as they get ready to hit the trail.

You may be familiar with the Pacific Crest Trail from the popular book and movie Wild - From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail, by Cheryl Strayed.

I can’t tell you how many questions I have about those trails, but I think what’s going to be most interesting is the stories.

Let me tell you a little bit more about Scout -

Barney Scout Mann is also the author of the book Journey’s North - the Pacific Crest Trail, and it’s said it is the next best thing to being on the PCT yourself. In this book he follows a selection of hikers that he and his wife got close to along the trail and tells their story.

Let me read this review - “Few things are more innately human, rooted deeply in our shared history, than storytelling and traversing land masses on foot. In Journeys North, master story teller Barney Scout Mann invites us to gather around his campfire as he weaves the narrative of ordinary people hiking thousands of miles across desert and mountains. The unfolding of their stories against eh backdrop of nature at her most sublime, and her most fierce, reveals their primal humanness in powerful relief. Their interactions, with nature and with each other, prove that we are more connected and wildly capable than we believe.

Tune into the audio program to hear my interview with Scout. Where to find a copy of Journey's North Order Journeys North on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Journeys-North-Pacific-Crest-Trail/dp/1680513214/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=Journeys+North&qid=1607558123&sr=8-1 (https://www.amazon.com/Journeys-North-Pacific-Crest-Trail/dp/1680513214/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=Journeys+North&qid=1607558123&sr=8-1)

or order a copy signed by the author from his website: http://www.barneyscoutmann.com (http://www.barneyscoutmann.com)

No matter your journey or story line, one of the things you will always find is that the supporting characters in your story and on your journey provide the most meaningful spaces of stretching, loving, learning,...

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Episode 184: Accept and Nurture Your Awesome No matter who you are, or where you came from, you are a beautiful miracle full of talents, ideas, light and potential.

There are a lot of messy things in the process of living that can make us feel unworthy, that easily create spaces of not-good-enough. One thing I know for sure is that those stories - those voices are NOT true. No matter who you are.

I’ve watched some of the most incredible people on the planet struggle with feelings of not being good enough, as I look on wondering how they could possibly even consider the idea that they weren’t incredible. If you’re one of those who feels unworthy in any way - because you were abused or unloved, because God didn’t answer your prayers, because some broken person or people told you you weren’t good enough, because you were the 7th grader that got shoved in the locker, because you didn’t get straight A’s, because you didn’t get the job, because you are ill and can’t do the things you wish you could do, because you have an addiction you’re fighting, because you have stories in your own mind - your own voice telling you and reinforcing that you are not okay, not enough. It doesn’t matter where the stories come from, there isn’t one of them that is true.

Stay tuned today because I’m sharing 4 life coaches to help you let go of things you need to let go of, recognize things you can’t see in yourself, and help propel you forward into your best life story.

The first step IS to accept this idea that you are a beautiful miracle, full of talents, ideas, light and potential.. To hold onto it - even if you can’t believe it right now. There is no one here that isn’t good enough to be here.

We were created by God, and that means we are good enough, worthy enough, and incredible. What you do from here - with all you’ve been given, is just the fun part. And yes, the messy part is inevitable, but once we start accepting ourselves fully we’ll also be able to watch how our stories shift.

Am I oversimplifying? Not regarding our value, but long held beliefs of unworthiness, of not-enough, are often not shaken easily. Just let the idea sit with you. One minute at a time. Start to make a place for it.

If you are one of us that has past wounds that are contributing to that unworthy/not-good-enough feeling, the work before you right now, is to first heal those wounds.

As Oprah pointed out, “The healing of our past wounds is one of the most worthwhile challenges of life.” The good news is that it’s no one else’s responsibility to fix it, but our own. This gives us control and power, because we each get to be responsible for our own lives.

“Buuuttttt…” you say, “what about when my ex-husband gave me an STD? What about when I lost my job? What about….”

Yes, sometimes other people use their agency to cause us pain and difficulty, but we ALWAYS have the choice of what we do with what other people shove at us. We can become bitter and cynical, or we can find learning and keep the joy.

As Viktor Frankl said, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Let’s start out this new year on the right foot - with the complete acceptance that we are worthy, fabulous, colorful, and messy and that’s just perfect.

But, what do you do if you’re not fully buying into that? If you want a little help in remembering who you are?

In today’s episode I’m going to introduce you to 5 different life coaches, and you can see if one of them speaks your language.

One of the difficulties I have with choosing my coaches is that I hate to waste money on someone I’m not going to connect with, and it’s always hard to know. Everyone I’m having on the show today I have worked with in one way or another and I can vouch for them. I’ll let you hear a little from them about what they do and you can see if someone strikes your fancy....

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The Best of 2020 As 2020 comes to an end, many of us won’t be sad to see it end. Many will be hoping that a new year will be bringing a clean, safe, healthy slate, a hope for better things than we’ve seen.

If that wasn’t just the craziest year to-date. We’ve had intense social unrest resulting in riots with serious injuries and massive property damage; we’ve had the circus we call elections, COVID, of course, which meant quarantines, higher than normal death tolls, and life as we know it cancelled. We’ve had fires and earthquakes, mask shaming and job loss.

And we can look at it that way, but as in all things, our realities are the stories we tell ourselves about the things going on around us.

We also have the choice to focus on the positive things that came from the past year. More time with family, more time in nature, focus on our homes and personal spaces, opportunities abounded.

Personally I’ve had my best year ever in real estate. It was a great abundant year. While I missed my usual social calendar it’s been a different and interesting experience to slow down without the same expectation of social interaction - even if that expectation is always just created by me. It was fun to get to say no to things and have an awesome excuse. I’ve enjoyed the things I’ve gotten done on my home and property because of the quarantine. I’ve sent more cards by snail mail to connect, and I’ve said gratitudes every morning and relied on faith rather than fear. I’ve tried to learn from my mistakes - my food storage may not have been all it should have been, but after the pandemic shutdown I was able to improve it. The podcast has continued on inspiring me and others with the wonderful interviews and ideas we share here.

As I look back on the 2020 podcast episodes I’ve shared, I notice a theme. The stories that have been shared are illustrations of real people doing really hard things in difficult circumstances, and coming out better and stronger on the other side of that struggle. They are stories to inspire us and show us what it looks like to stand tall when the going gets really rough. If it’s been a tough year for you, fill up on these inspirational stories that show how people make their way through tough things only to come out with massive growth on the other side.

That’s a message we’ve needed this year. Stay tuned for the Best of 2020 - the top 5 downloaded episodes.

The thing I love about a “Best Of” episode is that you get little quips - reminders - from the best stories. By listening to this one episode you’ll walk away with brilliant insights from 5 others, and maybe your interest will be peaked enough to go back and listen to the full story from the past episode, so you can get all the insight and brilliance of the vulnerable and triumphant tales each guest has shared.

Let’s get started…

I love every episode I put together for the show. I don’t ever publish a story or idea that I’m not proud of. So, I could feature every episode this year in the best of - haha, but I’ve decided to pull the top 5 episodes with the most downloads for the year. And, here they are….

Number 5 - In Episode 162: I interviewed Jeff Meyer from The Mental Edge and he talked to us about How to Perform at our Highest Levels.

We all do something - are you a parent, a lawyer, an actress, a podcaster, a soccer player? Whatever it is you do, staying in a space of peak performance is the surest way to find success in being your best YOU and creating your best story. This topic was something we could all use this year as we needed and wanted to stay sharp despite working from home, or learning to juggle kids schooling at home. I’m not surprised this one was a hit.

Here’s just a clip of our discussion about how being present is so important to creating real connection and performing at our highest levels as leaders and parents:

Tune into the audio recording for that clip.

Number 4 - Episode 158 I

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Episode 182: Miracles Abound- Interview Richard Paul Evans and Christmas Box International Direcor, Celeste Edmunds Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. Today is our Christmas episode, and since Christmas is a season of love, of miracles, of family, of wintery fun and of treats. Well, I have a treat for you. Today Richard Paul Evans, author of the Christmas Box and 40 consecutive NYT Bestsellers, that always seem to come out around Christmas time, and Celeste Edmunds the Exec. Director of Christmas Box International are here to share a little of all of that - miracles, stories of family and children, gifts and all good things to set the scene for Christmas.

On top of that, The Noel Letters, Richard’s new book is out for Christmas and we’re going to hear about that as well, so stay turned.

To start, you have to know who these folks are

When Richard Paul Evans wrote the #1 best-seller, The Christmas Box, he never intended on becoming an internationally known author. The story was written as an expression of love for his then two young daughters. - It was a Chrsitmas gift he self published and handed out to family and friends.

Three years later, this quiet, simple story of parental love and the true meaning of Christmas made history when it became simultaneously the #1 hardcover and paperback book in the nation. Since then, more than eight million copies of The Christmas Box have been printed. Six of Evans’s books have been produced into television movies. There are currently more than 24 million copies of his books in print.

As an acclaimed speaker, Evans has shared the podium with such notable personalities as President George W. Bush, President George and Barbara Bush, former British Prime Minister John Majors, Ron Howard, Elizabeth Dole, Deepak Chopra, Steve Allen, and Bob Hope. Evans has been featured on the Today show, Glenn Beck, CNN and Entertainment Tonight, as well as in Time, Newsweek, People, The New York Times, Washington Post, Good Housekeeping, USA Today, TV Guide, Reader’s Digest, and Family Circle - we’re thrilled to have him here on the Love Your Story podcast.

Evans has won numerous awards, made the big bucks, and used that money to do really good things in the world. One of which is that during the Spring of 1997, Evans founded The Christmas Box House International, an organization devoted to building shelters and providing services for abused and neglected children. To date, more than 125,000 children have been served by Christmas Box House facilities.

That is where Celeste comes in. Celeste is his Executive Director of Christmas Box International.

This is kind of fun - almost 2 decades ago Celeste was Richard’s personal assistant. She was at his side fighting the good fight back when Christmas Box International was just a dream. Now, she’s the executive director of this international shelter. She is an exceptional advocate because she was a former foster child herself. It’s a bit like a fairytale.

So, with no further ado…. Welcome Richard and Celeste.

I want to first start with stories….

Richard - I just finished reading the Miracle of the Christmas Box, which for those of you who don’t know, it is a book that tells the story of all the miracles involved during the journey of the Christmas Box making its way into the world. It’s an inspiring and amazing book just to hear of that journey, and I wanted to read a little excerpt from that book…

It’s on page 224 and you have just spoken to a group and someone approaches you…

Tune into the audio program to hear the details of that reading, and to hear about Richard's experiences with writing the new book, why Christmas Box International was started, and to hear the tale of a LOT of miracles.

NEW BOOK "The Noel Letters" is about an editor for a major New York publishing house who returns to her childhood home in Salt Lake City to see her estranged, dying father. What she believed would be a brief visit...

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Episode 181 Challenge #7 Pick ONE Thing for You Elenor Brown said, “Self care is any action you purposefully take to improve your physical, emotional or spiritual well being.”

Today’s episode is part of a series that explores the challenges in the book: LIFE - Living Intentional and Fearless Every day - the 21 LIFE Connection Challenges. THIS is a PERMISSION episode.

Today we are on challenge #7 - to pick one thing you’ve been wanting to do or buy for yourself and just do it. I don’t know about you, but I often put off splurging on something I really want because I can’t justify the expense in my own head.

Tune in for today’s quickie episode about how and why this challenge is a beautiful one to embrace. And after you listen, I hope you’ll take the challenge. Because YOU matter.

I was talking with a friend the other day about the nature of the 21 challenges and she begged me to add it into the explanation. So, here it is - I have a tendency in life to pick and choose what I want to do. I suspect we all probably do. We have to make all kinds of choices everyday where to spend our time. But when I was doing my emotional intelligence training we quickly learned that we did not have that option. It made everyone severely uncomfortable, but we came to understand that if it was part of the program we HAD to do it or leave the program. Boy did we all push through some blocks and every time we learned from it. We found gems of insight and growth that getting OUT of one’s comfort zone brings.

Well, that to is the nature of the 21 challenges. If you start the challenges and then just pick the ones that feel comfortable to you, you don’t stretch, you don’t learn, you don’t get out of the program what it holds for you.

So, just a reminder - when you start the 21 challenges - commit, in your own head and heart, to push past your resistance and do EVERY challenge.

This series of episodes where I go over the challenges in detail with everyone who is listening, allows you to follow along in doing the challenges, but even better, to understand why the challenges are in the program in the first place.

This set of explanatory episodes started in episode 12 and then again in 89 were we who were doing Random Acts of Kindness together, talked about the experiences. These were episodes exploring Challenge # 1 -Do a Random Act of Kindness.

In episode 163 I spoke with Ashley Stuart, a de-clutter expert, and we talked about why challenge #2 - to get rid of one thing you no longer need - is so much more important than this simple act seems on the surface.

In episode 169 I tackled an in-depth on challenge #3 - this is where we looked at what it really means and looks like to find the lesson in something that doesn’t go your way. Great stuff with expert Leslie Householder on finding the gratitude and lesson in our trials or disappointments.

In episode 171 we got into detail about why Challenge #4 - a life hack I call “Success-file” is so important to living happy.

Challenge #5 was episode 174 where we got real about giving people the benefit of the doubt and why it’s a relationship saver.

And Challenge #6 - the Love Bomb in episode 176.

PLEASE catch up on those episodes if you missed them and take each challenge for yourself. They are included for very important reasons - as you’ll hear as you listen to those episodes.

But today let’s talk about challenge #7. This is the first challenge in the book that directly addresses self-care. The other challenges are about looking outward and doing for others and cleaning up the spaces we surround ourselves with - these all bless us with connection and clarity and less direct self care, - but THIS challenge is just plain and simply about treating you.

Let me finish Eleanor Brown’s quote - that I started in the beginning.

“Self-care is any action you purposefully take to improve your physical, emotional or spiritual well being. Too often, we...

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Episode 180: Hearts of the Fathers - Interview Sheldon Lawrence

Fleeing from a deadly head-on collision, a man descends into a hellish realm to hide from Heaven’s beconing light. God can rescue him from the darkness, but escaping Hell is only the beginning. The greatest test comes as he confronts his broken relationships and sees himself and others in truth.

Tune in for this week’s episode of the LYS podcast and Week 2 of story time.

It’s the season of gratitude and holiday prep. To aid in your holiday prep I am sharing with you, in each November episode, a book I think shares an important message - and maybe will make your gift giving experience easier and more fun.

Last week was Six and Spider Jungle, a kid’s book about accepting everyone with all their wonderful differences, and this week we get a little more serious as the author of Hearts of the Fathers, Sheldon Lawrence, joins me for a preview of his book. Stay tuned and see if you get what so many have gotten out of this book….a changed desire to really live and a greater trust in God’s love.

Inspired by the research of hundreds of near-death experiences, this book has transformed the way I view potential spiritual growth in a universe grounded in God’s love. Sheldon has put into fictional form - often the funnest form of reading - a possible look at what life after death might entail. The first time I ready this book I loved it because it aligned with my strong, personal belief that we will continue to grow and learn and progress after this life. It also really illustrated how the energy - good or bad - that we create here and now, travels with us as we leave this world. I’m excited to share this book with you because it’s going to give you some serious food for thought.

Sheldon Lawrence teaches writing at BYU-Idaho. His award winning personal essays have appeared in various journals and magazines. He earned a PhD in English at Idaho State University where he specialize in the study of spiritual autobiography. He lives with his wife and 4 children in Rexburg, ID. He is the author of the spiritual novel, Hearts of the Fathers and today he is here to talk to us about it.

Tune into the audio program to hear the interview with Sheldon.

Get a copy of the book on Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/Hearts-Fathers-story-Heaven-after-ebook/dp/B01IYJMR7W/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=Hearts+of+the+Fathers&qid=1601482891&sr=8-3 (https://www.amazon.com/Hearts-Fathers-story-Heaven-after-ebook/dp/B01IYJMR7W/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=Hearts+of+the+Fathers&qid=1601482891&sr=8-3)

As we wrap up November I’ve given you 3 great ideas for holiday gift books: Of course there is the 21-Day Challenges in the book LIFE - Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday. I recommend getting that for everyone you love and then doing the challenges together as a way to build and bond with family and friends. It’s available on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/L-I-F-Intentional-Fearless-Connection-Challenges/dp/1793127328 (https://www.amazon.com/L-I-F-Intentional-Fearless-Connection-Challenges/dp/1793127328)

There is Six and Spider Jungle by Jef Olsen that we previewed in last week’s episode - a wonderful story for the children on your list - and he’ll send you a free download link if you email him. Get his email in the show notes on https://loveyourstorypodcast.com (loveyourstorypodcast.com)

And today’s book - Hearts of the Fathers. Something for everyone!

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. May you create a Thanksgiving story full of magic and happy moments. Remember to count your blessings everyday. It’s the key to abundant living.

See you in a couple weeks on the next episode of the LYS podcast.

L.I.F.E.: Living Intentional & Fearless Everyday - 21 LIFE Connection Challenges

Hearts of the Fathers: A story of Heaven, Hell, and the hope of new life after life

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Episode 179: Six in Spider Jungle - Interview Jef Olsen It’s November and we are all starting to look for ideas for holiday gifts. Well, my two November episodes are going to provide you with some wonderful story gift ideas. Each episode will be a discussion with an author about a story book that may be just the thing you need. You’ll have to listen in and see, each week will be a very different type of book. This week I’ll start out with a quote from Maya Angelou, she said, “If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” Maya’s words of wisdom starts out this episode perfectly, because today you get to hear a story about a spider named Rex who had 6 legs instead of 8. Read by the author Jef Olsen, this new book is a reminder that being yourself puts something wonderful into the world that wasn’t there before. Tune into the audio program for a little story time, and a way to get a free digital copy for yourself or someone on your gift list. Jef Olsen (that’s with 1 f) is an introvert who is occasionally happy to attend a gathering. He says he lived a very happy and stress free youth because when something was too difficult, he simply did not do it. He avoided the hard stuff. A lover of history, be got a BA in History from the University of Utah, then realized he needed money to pay the bills, so he went to law school. Currently he works as the senior in-house legal counsel for a vehicle service contract company, is married to a super human wife, and is the father of 6 children that he travels the world with. He’s a fan of Marvel comics, Star Wars and the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Jef wrote this book, but he feels like he wrote it down as the ideas came to him, rather than made it up. Rex the spider is named after his first best friend. Jef says, “I like the idea of acceptance and appreciation. It costs nothing to be kind.” This book for me was simply that people are different and that we should look at acceptance instead of rejection of others that seem or look different. I was thinking that an illustrated copy of this book might make a great Christmas gift. We’ll hope that Jef and Kate have copies ready for the holidays. You can reach him at his email to check up on that. Jef Olsen: jef_olsen@hotmail.com Angelina Jolie shared a peak into her childhood, “I want to say when I was little, like Maleficent, I was told I was different. And I felt out of place and too loud, too full of fire, never good at sitting still, never good at fitting in. And then one day I realized something – something I hope you all realize. Different is good. When someone tells you that you are different, smile and hold your head up and be proud.” The best stories are created with interesting characters. Be who you are, and be good at it. Love your own colors and share them. To love your story, you cannot dislike your main character - YOU. As we sign off today I want to ask you to hop on iTunes and leave a review for the podcast. If you’ll do this, then email me your address and I’ll send you a Love Your Story podcast sticker. Thanks for being all the wonderful that you are. I’ll see you in two weeks on the next episode.

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Episode 178: Ghost Stories Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast, it’s our Halloween 2020 episode. Have you ever seen a ghost? Experienced energy from the unseen? Felt something you couldn’t see or had doors slam for no reason? The world is full of ghost stories. For Halloween I opened up the phone lines to have people call in and share their own ghost stories. Stay tuned for the call ins and get a little ghost story thrill to prepare you for Halloween…. I’ll start our spooky episode with this quote from George Q. Cannon - "There are places....where the influence or the presence of invisible spirits are very perceptibly felt...and that...evil influences or spirits...affect (us)..... I have come to the conclusion that if our eyes were open to see the spirit world around us, we should feel differently on the subject than we do; we would not be so unguarded and careless and so indifferent whether we had the spirit and power of God with us or not; but we would be continually watchful and prayerful to our Heavenly Father for his Holy Spirit and his holy angels to be around us.... With that warning in mind, let’s listen to the call ins: Listen to the audio to hear the call-in ghost stories.

Our time is already up, but those stories should get the holiday “spirit” flowing. I’ll be honest, I’m a little more freaked out than I was before I heard the stories, but all I can say is, “May the Halloween spirit be with you and may it be a friendly one.” Join us in a few weeks for our November episodes which will highlight some great story gift ideas for the upcoming gift-giving season. Our first November episode will be a discussion with the author of Six and Spider Jungle, for the younger kids on your list ,and a lesson in how our differences make us stronger. You’ll also get a free download, so listen in. See you in two weeks, and Happy Halloween.

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Episode 177: Dealing with Anger - Interview Lara Johnson Welcome back to the Love Your Story podcast. Today we are talking about ANGER and how to deal with it. Anger, like all the “negative” emotions we feel, is often something we feel like we have to suppress in order to be a “good” person. But what happens when we suppress our feelings rather than allow and experience them? I’m not advocating for zero self-control, rather I want to explore with you a real life story that can show us what suppressed anger can do to us and how acceptance and allowance of our emotions helps us heal. Today my guest is Lara Johnson. After being molested as a child Lara was angry. Anger became her constant companion, but also her shackles. Giving herself permission to BE angry changed her life and allowed her to move on once and for all. Stay tuned to hear her story and to talk to this now certified life coach as she helps us with tips and understanding for dealing with our own emotions. Tune in to the audio program to hear Lara's interview. Thick That Hang said, in The Heart of the Buddhas’s teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy and Liberation, “Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything - anger, anxiety, or possessions - we cannot be free.” and, Mark Twain said, “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” All our emotions, the ones we label “good” and “bad,” are perhaps all here to teach us love. In this case the idea of self-love being key - giving ourselves permission to feel what we feel and love ourselves through those emotions we label as “negative” or “bad.” When the key to healing is allowing space for us to feel our way through the experience without judgement of ourselves, we can move more smoothly forward through our lives. We propel ourselves forward through the experiences that feel like road blocks. So much easier said than done, especially because this allowing may be in direct conflict with how you’ve been trained - not to allow a place for “bad” emotions. But today’s discussion is a beam of light on how we make it through with love and grace. Your challenge this week is to choose a powerful emotion you are feeling - something WILL come up this week, and instead of fighting it off or feeling bad for feeling it, practice sitting with it and just letting it be with you for a bit, without judgement. Ask it how long it needs to stay and notice what it may be protecting you from. Some of these insights will give you the clarity to accept with love. Thanks for being here today. Don’t forget you can get your copy of LIFE - Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday - the 21 LIFE connection challenges on Amazon - start the 21 Challenges to create more self-care, more connection and more possibility in your own life or give it as a gift and help someone else create these wonderful things in their life. Would sure appreciate a review of the podcast, on whatever platform you listen. Those reviews help me know my work with stories is reaching and helping. Have a great week creating your best life story.

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Episode 175: 7 Tips from 7 InfluencersNear the end of 2019 a group of influencers met for lunch. Their purpose was for each to come to understand better the good that the others were trying to do in the world and to see how they might support each another and help each other along their individual paths. At the end of that 4-hour lunch and cram session I asked each to share with me/my audience one piece of advice that they felt, from their experience, was most important - the piece of advice they wanted to leave for the world, and we proceeded to think, laugh, and share our way around the circle. Stay tuned for these 7 tips on living well, from 7 people who aren’t just thinking about making a mark on the world, but are actually doing it. In Oprah’s book, What I Know for Sure, she says, “I live in the space of thankfulness - and for that, I have been rewarded a million times over. I started out giving thanks for small things, and the more thankful I became, the more my bounty increased, That’s because—for sure — what you focus on expands. When you focus on the goodness in your life, you create more of it.” I want to start out this episode acknowledging a gratefulness for these wonderful people and all the other wonderful people in the world trying to create good, do good, and make the world better, just because they can. THANK YOU. I also think that my advice, if I toss mine into this pot, involves this very topic. To create your best life story is to stay grateful. Gratitude reminds you you are supported by something bigger than yourself. Gratitude releases chemicals that make you happy, Gratitude helps you focus on the good in your life, and that brings more goodness and magic, and greater abundance. Gratitude is the key living well, in so many ways. Gratitude is a foundational tool to creating a life story that feels like it’s full of magic. Now here’s 7 more tips….Listen in to our conversation and excuse the background sounds of doorbells, background laughing and the occasional door closing. Jennifer Anderson - Listen and Act on Inspiration - just take the first step. Rachel Reist - Be present. Be here now, not longing for something past or future. Ashley Stuart- Reassess and reverse your relationship with stuff. Connect with your life style and your people and the way you want to live and then proactively bring in only what you need. Andy Proctor. - The happiness guru - I you feel like your stuck ask yourself if you’re trying to live a past dream that no longer serves you. Lindsay Kjar - Mixed Faith Marriage Coaching: Meet your own needs. Know what your desires, hope and dreams are and then figuring out how you can meet those needs on your own so you aren’t waiting for someone else to create your happiness. Mel Miller - Know that all the pieces/things you need in your life will show up. If you need to make something happen there IS a person in your life that can help you do what you need to do. Just show up with your vision and things will appear. Rachel Von neiderhausern - Remember the power of 1. Each small act/choice to help others will ripple out. Thanks for tuning in this week. This week’s challenge is to choose the piece of advise that really stood out to you, and consider how you are living it in your life. I know at least one of these suggestions probably grabbed your attention and made your mind wander into your own thoughts. Grab that piece and take two steps - 1. Think on it and why it caught your attention. 2. Act on it. What doe your gut tell you you need to do with that piece of advice. A couple announcements - in 2020 I started a new section of Love Your Story called Tell Your Story. If you are interested in collecting your story in audio format for posterity, or if you have a family member or friend that you would like privately interviewed to collect their story, contact me at lorijlee@msn.com with Tell Your Story in the subject line. For more...

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Episode 174: Challenge #5 - Giving the Benefit of the DoubtWelcome Listeners to the Love Your Story podcast. Today’s episode is a part of a series where I am going into more detail on each of the challenges in my book - LIFE - which stands for: Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday, the 21 Life Connection Challenges - today is all about Challenge #5 - Give someone the benefit of the doubt. Just a quick recap - In episode 12 and 89 I went into some wonderful detail about the process of doing Random Acts of Kindness, which is Challenge # 1 in the 21 Life Connection Challenges. In episode 163 I went into detail with Ashley Stuart, a de-clutter expert, and we talked about why challenge #2 - to get rid of 1 thing you no longer need - is so much more important than this simple act seems on the surface. In episode 169 I tackled an in-depth on challenge #3 where we looked at what it really means and looks like to find the lesson in something that doesn’t go your way. Again, great stuff with expert Leslie Householder on finding the gratitude and lesson in our trials or disappointments. In episode episode 171 we got into detail about why Challenge #4 - a life hack I call “Success-file” is so important to living happy. And today we are on Challenge #5 - which is - Giving people the benefit of the doubt and how that becomes relationship changing. The recaps of these challenges is about getting into more detail about why the challenge was included in the book, to hear what experts have to say about the topic, and to see what it looks like in real life. These 21 Challenges are not just a random bunch of challenges I threw together. They have been chosen for specific reasons, and the shifts they cause in every day lives just by using them. That’s what these episodes are about - is delving into why each challenge is important. So let’s talk about the challenge of giving someone the benefit of the doubt. —challenge #5. Giving someone the benefit of the doubt may be easier than it sounds. But first let’s talk about what it is: The Urban Dictionary says, To give someone the benefit of the doubt is to default to the belief that their intentions are honest, and not assume malice when there is uncertainty or doubt surrounding the circumstances. Or, in other words, to believe something good about someone, rather than something bad, when you have the possibility of doing either. The reason this challenge is included is because this small decision will make a huge difference in your relationships, and the challenges are to help you create connection in your life. Benefit of the doubt example: John didn't pay me back the $20 he owes me, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt that he simply forgot and isn't trying to rip me off. Jill is late, but there must be a good reason and it’s not just because she doesn’t respect my time. My spouse hasn’t done what they agreed to do, but before getting upset I’ll talk to them about it - something probably got in the way. Let’s talk about doing it ….giving the benefit of the doubt? When someone does or says something that irritates you, feels unfair, or feels like a betrayal, giving the benefit of the doubt means that you consciously change the way you are interpreting the situation and the story you are building around it, and instead find a way to give that person the benefit of the doubt that they did not mean offense, that they are doing the best they can, that there is part of the story you don’t understand, or consider that there may be a misunderstanding. People rub up against each other (metaphorically speaking) all the time; it’s what we do. There are rubs and irritants, and miscommunications every day. But if everyone gave each other the benefit of the doubt that they meant well, or that they are doing the best they can in their current state of understanding, I suspect life would generate a whole lot less friction and we would...

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Episode173 - Rare Faith: Interview with Leslie Householder Welcome back to the Love Your Story podcast my beloved audience. How many of you have heard of the term, “Rare Faith?” There is the simple faith that we have knowing the sun will rise each morning, because we’ve seen it thousands of times. Then there is the type of faith that makes things happen. Today on the show I have Leslie Householder. Stay tuned for lots of wisdom from this woman who has the Rare Faith Platform where she teaches universal laws. Leslie is the ward-winning international best selling author of The Jackrabbit Factor, Portal to Genius and Hidden Treasures. These books are all about how we access heaven’s help in our money matters and how this rare faith is the key to making things happen. She has helped people all over the world discover and apply the Rare kind of faith that causes powerful life changes. She takes time to help those in her audience crush every challenge, achieve every goal, and vanquish every monster under their beds. She is also - above all - a dedicated wife and mother of seven children. Yes…..she does alllll this. Tune into the audio program to hear her answers to questions like: Where did you get the term Rare Faith? How did you come to understand the idea of rare faith? How have you used rare faith in your own life. What did that look like? You have a book called Hidden Treasures that explains a list of universal laws and how they work. I’ve often thought, as I’ve heard the statement that all blessings are predicated on laws, that if I only knew what the laws were that were tied to the blessings I wanted, then I could more actively seek the outcomes I wished for. Tell us a little about these universal laws. How have you tested them? How often does your faith falter? How do we come to really understand a universal law? Trial and error? How often is there error if it’s a law? How do you share and teach these? How can people find you if they want more information?

There are laws of the universe we are very familiar with - like the law of gravity. We know it works whether we believe in it or not. It makes sense that the other laws of the universe work the same way. It also makes sense to me that laws were put in place to govern the unfolding of seasons, the circle of life, the earth on its track in the universe, so why wouldn’t God have also put into place laws that determined outcomes for his children. Laws that, like science and physics, are consistent? These are the laws we talked about today. How powerful would we be if we came to truly understand, practice and create with these laws? It’s an exciting concept and I hope you got something wonderful out of listening to Leslie today. For more information on Leslie: leslie@rarefaith.org

rarefaith

www.rarefaith.org Share this episode with someone else who would find interesting. Sharing a podcast episode is an easy way to do a random act of kindness for someone. And it you REALLY liked it, share it on your social media and tag me. Thanks for being here - remember you’ve always got the loveyourstorypodcast website where you can get links to all the past episodes, you can order your LYS t-shirts, you can find a link to buy LIFE - Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday - the 21 LIFE Connection Challenges, or you can find our new link to TELL YOUR STORY where you can start to get your own story/life history recorded in audio format. See you in two weeks. *Thanks to Franz Danzi: Wind Quintet Opus 67, Nos.2 by Soni Ventorum Wind Quintet for music in this podcast.

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Episode 172: Letting Go of the Past - Interview with Djana KazicWhat happens when you have a past that you need to let go of? My guest today is Dana Kazic, born and raised in Sarajevo, Bosnia and Herzegovina. Caught in the middle of the Bosnian conflict, shot as a teenager during that war, Djana says the saddest thing she sees is how so many people play the victim role - she still sees it in Bosnia - people who can’t let go of wrongs done to them. Her choice to finally leave the area, despite her close relationship to her family, to create a better destiny for herself is a story she wants to share. She says, “Everyone is the creator of their own universe. Your thoughts and words become your reality. Dare to dream for fortune follows the brave.” Stay tuned for Djana’s story and what she learned having spent 3 years mostly without electricity, water, little food and grenades constantly falling on them, never knowing if she would see her family again from day to day. Djana has spent her time since the war getting an education, working, and globe trotting. She to her BA in Sarajevo, her Masters in Italy, did her management training in Malaysia and got her PhD in Hawaii. Today she’s her to share her story. Tune into the audio program for her story and interview. Do you have a story - something that happened to you in your past that makes you feel like a victim? Something that happened that you haven’t been able to let go of? If you need to reframe a story that is holding you back - please go back and listen to episodes 46-50 of the Love Your Story podcast, for 5 full episodes that explore the steps of how to truly reframe a story so you can find the meaning and purpose in the experience - so the story can support and build a better life moving forward rather than keep a holdin’ you back. There is also an online course you can purchase on the website: http://www.loveyourstorypodcast.com (www.loveyourstorypodcast.com) for the 5 steps to reframing your stories. These tools have been provided to help you love your story. Because that’s what this is all about. Thanks for being here this week - share the episode with one other person who would find value in this story. It makes the world better to share the love. See you in two weeks for the next new episode of the Love Your Story podcast.

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Episode 169: Challenge #3: Find the Lesson in Something that Doesn't Go Your WayWelcome Listeners to the Love Your Story podcast. Today’s episode is a part of a series where I am going into more detail on each of the challenges in my book - LIFE Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday, the 21 Life Connection Challenges. In episode 89 I went into some wonderful detail about the process of doing Random Acts of Kinds - and we got feedback from the RAK night and what they looked like, what popped up for those doing the acts of kindness, and what feelings and thoughts doing the RAK’s generated in those doing them. It’s all a lot less predictable than it sounds. In episode 163 I went into detail with Ashley Stuart, a de-clutter expert, and we talked about why challenge #2 - to get rid of 1 think you no longer need - is so much more important than this simple act seems on the surface. These episodes open up the wonderful egg of why these challenges were included in the book in the first place by getting into more detail about what they are, having experts weigh in on the ideas, and then showing real life examples. Stay tuned because today we are exploring Challenge #3 - to find the lesson in something that doesn’t go your way. Maya Angelo said, “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”. Amen, sista! There are lots of ways to look at life. Lots of ways to look at every event that happens to us and the way we interpret it. I’m talking about the guy who cuts us off in traffic, or your friend that always shows up late - I’m talking about every day stuff. When we learn how to be aware of our conclusion and interpretations of them, and then we get good at choosing perceptions that serve us, then we control our own destiny with power. We acknowledge all the time that our stories are filled with challenges - people we clash with; lost love; bad drivers; situations that require the depths of our patience; health and body issues; disappointments; lost jobs; that lump of coal you got for Christmas; the state of the world; the defining of sharks. Of course there are also moments of beauty and miracles, but this challenge is about the habit of how we deal with disappointments and challenges. One of the tays we can approach life is with the idea that everything is a life lesson. If you look at life as if the people you meet and everything you encounter are all a part of your learning experience here in this thing we call life, then we get lots of opportunities to choose attitude. When we approach life as if all our experiences hold a gift for us then hope and faith become our companions instead of blaming, bitterness and disappointment. It’s easy to start making up stories about ourselves and others when things don’t happen the way we want: I’m not good enough; that person had it out for me; my boss doesn’t really like me, the world is full of assholes. None of these are helpful stories - even if they seem real. That’s where the practiced habit of remembering that you get the wonderful challenge and opportunity to choose how you see things. Become aware of your interpretations Remember they are not fact - they are created by your upbringing, culture, belief system, education, assumptions, etc. Choose to shift the negative interpretations into ones that will serve you better.

What do I mean by ones that serve you better? Choose interpretations that focus on the lesson or meaning in something really hard. For example, when I was first reframing my story about many difficult things that had happened to me as I went through 3 divorces, I realized, with some reframing help, that I had experienced many things that gave me massive amounts of empathy for others. I had gained empathy and understanding that helped me grow. My most painful life moments had still been painful and had still been gigantic and had still often been the choices of other people that

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Episode 168: My Last Bad Day - The SHIFT - Interview Michael O'Brien On the morning of July 11, 2001, Michael O’Brien, an avid cyclist, was riding his bicycle on a New Mexico road when an SUV hit him head-on going 40 mph. The crushing accident left him near death as the mede-vac helicopter descended to take his broken body to be pieced back together. Today Michael is with us and will take us to the darkness of his accident and the long, slow road to recovery, but he’ll also take us to his shift - the moment when he decided it was the power of his mind that would decide the rest of his life. It wasn’t the tragedy that would define him, but how he responded to the tragedy. I recently returned from a Genius Bootcamp, put on by Leslie Householder, in Arizona. The concept behind her teachings are a greater understanding of universal law and how to implement those laws for the greatest most powerful creations of our own lives. At the very foundation of universal law is the understanding of the power of the human mind. Where we focus our attention begins to create things spiritually, and eventually we bring those into the physical world - whether it’s an idea of something we want to create, attracting money, or changing our vibrations to live healthier or with more joy. Truth always ties into truth and as I read Michael O’Brien’s book Shift and cheered him on as he intentionally chose the mindset and perspective that would help him make his way back into a life he wanted, I just smiled at the way this truth comes up over and over. This is why I’m always asking you, “What story are you telling yourself?” “Are you creating your life on purpose?” And “You’re responsible for creating the life story you want to tell.” It’s all about our personal agency to shift our story when needed.” Listen to the audio program to hear Michael's story and how he shifted. We talk about questions like: 1. Your accident was almost 20 years ago and I believe your book just came out. When did you decide you wanted to start sharing your story and why? 2. Take us back to the accident - what do you remember? 3. What was the hardest part? 4. What would you do differently? 5. What were you most grateful for at the time? 6. How did the shift happen? 7. You have 20 tips at the back of your book - can you share your top 3? When I talk about reframing our stories - the ones that are holding us back, I’m talking about this very thing - this SHIFT. When we are stuck in a story that isn’t serving us, we MUST understand that we can shift our perspective and change our interpretation in order to stay on higher vibrational levels - in order to stay out of the victim mindset - in order to live our best life story. I’m grateful to Michael for sharing his story and his shift and giving us a visual of what that looks like in action. The power of our minds more vast than we can comprehend. Use yours to create your best space: to lift you when you are down, to intentionally create the life you want, to overcome. For more information on Michael and his books: www.facebook.com/michaelspeloton www.instagram.com/michaelobrienshift Books: My Last Bed Day Shift, and his memoir: Shift: Creating Better Tomorrows Your challenge this week is to find a story that needs to shift for you. Are you in a fight with your spouse and you can choose to let go of a way of seeing something that can help you find a happier space? Are you holding a grudge - can you shift and give someone the benefit of the doubt? Do you have something bigger that needs a major shift? Try changing the thought and see what happens. Things only have the power we give them. See you in two weeks on the next episode of Love Your Story

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Episode 166: Life Interrupted - Problems Call Forth our Courage and our WisdomScott Peck, author of The Road Less Traveled said, “Problems call forth our courage and our wisdom; indeed, they create our courage and our wisdom. It is only because of problems that we grow mentally and spiritually.”

Stay tuned for today’s episode which I have created to remind you about all the courage and wisdom you’ve gained from your problems and challenges, and that life interrupted is actually just life. As most of you know, the Love Your Story podcast started from an earlier time in my life where I didn’t love my story. I felt shame and disappointment about my three failed marriages. I felt like I had failed in places where I was meant to succeed. What I wasn’t seeing during those rough years was that the relationship problems and all my efforts at saving my relationships, the struggles and the learning, the mistakes, the stretching that was required in the most painful places, and maybe especially the spiritual experiences I had as I tried to stand again after being metaphorically gutted in all kinds of ways….well these events would create courage and wisdom. They would show me my own strength. They would give me empathy and understanding I could never have had if I hadn’t been in the battles I’d fought. Elisabeth Kubler Ross said, “The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation , a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fill them with compassion, gentleness and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

Today’s episode is a reminder that the problems in your life, big and small, have the potential to call forth your courage and wisdom. They have the potential to create in you understanding and empathy, and to align you with the human plight in ways that the easy life could not. As we traverse our problems sometimes it’s hard to remember that they are opportunities, that they are workshops, so this reminder episode is a space for you to look at the problem you are currently wrestling with - what is it? Let’s pinpoint it right here……., now console yourself with the knowledge that you are growing, and then consider what story you can create around it that will serve you best - that will help with that growth state, that will bring hope bubbling to the surface, even if it’s just hope for a better time, with the knowing that at some point the difficult parts of your journey will make more sense.

In episode 22 Becky Andrews, a blind woman, mom, and mental health councilor shares a story of an important crossroads where she recognized a crucial moment in her life - where she could choose to control her fear or to stay home bound. She shifted from her fear and chose how she was going to let her problem of losing her eyesight and the fear she felt control her life. Here’s Becky:

Tune in for this flashback clip...

Hellen Keller once said, “Although the world is very full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.”

The overcoming of it - the struggle, these are the opportunities of the metaphorical cocoon. Richard Bach, one of my favorite writers - pointed out, “What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls the butterfly.”

We are all at a different stage within our cocoons - changing, growing, turning stubby legs into beautiful wings. I always remember the example taught in grade school - you can’t help a chicken break out of it’s egg or it won’t be strong enough to survive. You can’t pry a roses petals open or it will wilt and die. You can’t tear open the cocoon to help the butterfly emerge - the butterfly must break out of the cocoon itself in order to have the strength to fly off. We are of a grand design and that design requires struggle, but that struggle creates...

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Episode166: Born to Succeed - Interview Braxton NielsenAugust 31, 2017 Braxton Nielsen was crushed and paralyzed by a bucking bronco in a rodeo in Filer, Idaho. Growing up his dad always told him he was born to succeed. Those comments created a mindset that would serve Braxton as he faced a broken back. Aways interested in rodeo, Braxton placed 8th in the nation in 2017 and then went pro. His dream of becoming a world champion bareback rider was getting closer and closer, but life happened and after the accident Braxton was given less than a 5% chance of walking again. Five fused vertebrae’s, two rods, eight screws, numbness in his right leg and can’t feel his left foot. Recover is a long road, but stay tuned today to hear about his journey and to soak in some of that positive attitude that Braxton exudes as he talks about life. Braxton was born and raised in Roosevelt Utah where he now resides with his lovely wife Heather. He grew up loving the outdoors, spending time with family, and he was a three sport athlete in high school where he received all state awards. Braxton says. “We as individuals were born to succeed. There are no limits. The only one that limits yourself is you. Life is great. Don’t waste a second being unhappy, but be grateful, be positive and truly know that you were born to succeed.” Tune into the audio program to hear Braxton's Story and to talk about questions like: 1. When did you know you wanted to rodeo? 2. What type of mental focus does it take to bareback ride? 3. Did that help you deal with this? 4. Tell me about the accident. 5. What happened afterward? 6. When did you decide you were going to beat it? 7. What was it like? 8. What was the hardest part? 9. How did you get through that part? 10. How do you stay so positive? 11. How can other people keep that same attitude when they are faced with their tough spaces? The thing that stands out to me most about Braxton is his infectious optimism. It’s as if there really is no doubt that we are all incredibly powerful, born to succeed and nothing stands in our way. Thank YOU Braxton for sharing that faith, that optimism, and for shining a light on what it looks like to truly live big and face our problems head-on. More information on Braxton: Podcast: Born to Succeed; #borntosucceed Your challenge this week is to repeat this mantra - all week long - “I was born to succeed.” Do it on the way to work. Do it while you’re walking down the hall. Chant it in the shower! The subconscious is what creates our outcomes, and our subconscious is programed by emotion and repetition. There really is power to repetition and belief. Chant, baby chant. Thanks for being here this week - remember to use the website - http://loveyourstorypodcast.com (loveyourstorypodcast.com) where you can order your LYS t-shirt - share any LYS episode - or comment on episodes and share your own expiences. Remember that in 2020 I stated a new option called “Tell Your Story.” This is for people who want their own audio recording of their story - for posterity, for personal record, or know a family member or friend who should capture their story. Contact me at lorijlee@msn.com with Tell Your Story in the subject line and we’ll make that happen. See you in two weeks on the next episode.

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Episode 165 COVID 19 Survivor Story:Interview Matt Newey Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. Over the past month I’ve listened to a number of podcast hosts hop on and talk about their take regarding COVID 19 and the Coronavirus. I’m almost sick of hearing about it, but one thing I haven’t heard is a real first-hand account of having the virus. So….today that’s what I’m bringing to you. Stay tuned for my interview with Matt Newey, a 23 year old outdoor photographer/video from Centerville, UT. Who, on March 19th, was Utah’s 78th confirmed Covid-19 case. Matt Newey most likely contracted the virus while on a ski trip to Colorado with four friends. This is Matt’s Covid-19 story. First - let’s make Matt a real person. Here’s a little about him. Matt is a 23 year old outdoor photographer, videographer and adventurer. From the time Matt got his first Gopro camera at the age of 10 he has been videoing himself ever since doing ski backflips, rock climbing and searching for the perfect landscape photo. In high school shooting one of his many time lapse shots of the Great Salt Lake he realized his mission is to “chase sunsets for a living.” He further realized that this is his passion when he went off at 18 on an 8 day solo trip taking pictures on southern Utah. He’s a skier, a son, a brother, and an all around good kid who survived. Tune into the audio program to hear Matt tell his own story. To find Matt: Instagram: @mattcnewey https://www.instagram.com/mattcnewey/ (https://www.instagram.com/mattcnewey/) YouTube: https://youtu.be/Vd7tpRbas48 (https://youtu.be/Vd7tpRbas48) Website: https://mattcnewey.com/work (https://mattcnewey.com/work) Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/666837390339248/posts/1063467160676267/?vh=e&d=n (https://www.facebook.com/666837390339248/posts/1063467160676267/?vh=e&d=n) Lots of stories are being written right now. People who are getting COVID 19, people who are fighting it on the front lines, people who are terrified and living as such, people who are creating some wonderful family/home time during social distancing and quarantine. Personally I feel like this very odd time for us holds a basket of opportunities. Family time. Time to take stock of our preparedness. Time to focus on home and loved ones. Time to slow down. Time, like Matt has illustrated, where you are on the front lines and you have a story to share in order to help others better understand what is going on. I encourage all of us to turn to love, community, family and sharing to get the most beauty and positive outcome from a time in history that also holds the potential for loss and suffering. Each day write beautiful things into your story. Small and simple things that feel better than fear. Also - it’s a great time for families to hop on Amazon and buy my book - LIFE - Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday - the 21 LIFE Connection challenges. I’ve gotten lots of reports of families who are doing the challenges together and making the most of their social distancing time while practicing fun life skills together. See you in two weeks on the next episode of the LYS podcast.

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Episode 164: 23-Day Alaskan Wilderness Survival: Interview - Tyson SteeleHis last semester of grad school Tiberius Steele lived in his car. When the university revoked all the grad student teaching scholarships he was forced to find a way to continue on with his schooling, but he couldn’t afford rent, so Tyson removed the passenger seat from his tiny Hyundai Accent, built a bed where the seat had been and parked up the canyon at nights. “It was great,” he said, “No rent, fresh mountain air. From that point on I was hooked on the idea of budget, small living.” But that’s just the beginning. How do we get from here to surviving in the Alaskan wilderness—in the lowlands south of Denali National Park, for 23 days in below freezing temperatures after his home burnt to the ground, killing his best friend and dog - a lab who had been with him through six years of rough living, and eating from burned out cans of food with melted plastic in them from the fire that decimated all his belongings? Tune into the audio program for my interview with Tiberius Steele - mountain man, survivor, poet, hermit, and teacher. To follow Tyson on social media: Instagram: @homesteadalaska You can also find him on YouTube. Tyson made his way through very dark days of cold, hunger and deprivation. What was the key? He says it was looking for the beauty around him - focusing on the northern lights, looking a moose in the eyes, noticing the beautiful countryside and singing to himself.

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Episode 163 Challenge #2 Clutter Edited: Interview: Ashley Stuart Ta Da! Introducing a set of episodes that are going to get into detail on each of the 21 challenges in the book L.I.F.E - Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday - the 21 Life Connection Challenges. In May of 2018 I tackled the first challenge - to do a Random Act of Kindness. It was episode 89. We got a group together who went out and did RAK and then I recorded their experiences for you guys and shared it. Now I’m on to challenge #2. Challenge #2 in the book is about taking a step toward decluttering our spaces - about less is more, and about the incredible importance in this concept. The challenge itself is to start out by getting rid of just 1 unneeded item you have in your house. It’s a stepping stone to a bigger clearing. Stay tuned as I start the second in a series of episodes that will delve more deeply into the 21 LIFE connection challenges and we’ll talk about how and why these challenges are going to make your life better. We call it decluttering, parring down, downsizing, making space, trending toward minimalism, heck…maybe just cleaning house. The trend with the millennials is to own less so they can do more, move faster, have more freedom, save money by needing less space and create a smaller carbon foot print. Every generation has a few signature ideas and those ideas usually flow in the opposite direction of those of their parents. It’s no secret that their parent’s generation is about accumulation. Their grandparents - the Boomers who lived in a time of rationing during the wars, and the natural tendency toward survival —to collect - to make sure you will always have enough. To store up against the needy day. We live in a time of abundance and accumulation is a natural tendency, but now it’s time to manage it. More is not better, and he who dies with the most toys is still dead and he who lives with the most clutter just leaves a lot of shit for other people to sort through. “Hording” is a word we hear far too often these days, and as a Realtor who spends lots of days going through houses, I can verify that it’s a real thing. Graham Hill, talking from the TED stage shares some interesting ideas about the state of America and our clutter. Tune into the audio program to hear this TED clip. In my book L.I.F.E. Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday challenge #2 is to choose at least one unneeded item and get rid of it. It’s that simple. At any given moment there is a good chance we have clutter around us. Maybe it’s the gaggle of water bottles being thrown from side-to-side in the backseat of your car as you turn corners, or the stuff on your kitchen cabinets successfully hiding the surface you could be using to cook and eat on. What about your office, or the garage you can’t actually pull a car into. Often we’ve become so used to our clutter we don’t even see it anymore. So look a little closer. Why? If you start cleaning up some of this external clutter, you’ll notice that internal clutter disappears as well. This challenge is important on many levels. There is a freeing of energy that takes place when we release our hold on material items. This freeing of energy translates into our mental state in far deeper ways than we even realize. In my late 20’s we sold our home and packed all our belongings into a storage shed so we could travel for a year. Despite being hundreds of miles from my things I can verify there was an energetic tie that always had to my “stuff.” We have a connection to our belongings, a real connection, and this is great - our “things” are there to serve us, help us do what we want and need to do, but too often we forget the part where we let go of them, let them move on to help someone else when they’ve completed their time with us. Instead it’s about what I can control, what I can claim, what I can store up against need. Julia Cameron said, “When we clear the physical...

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Episode 162: The Mental Edge: How to Perform at our Highest Levels - Interview Jeff MeyerWe all do something. Are you a parent, a lawyer, an actress, a podcaster, a Realtor, a soccer player, a sales person, a teacher, a socialite? Whatever it is YOU do, staying in a space of peak performance is the surest way to find success in being your best YOU. Today I talk with the originator of the Mental Edge, a insulting firm that offers sports and management counseling to athletes - it's all about the science of developing mental toughness and the mental techniques that keep us at our sharpest. Guess what? Some of it is all about the stories we tell ourselves. Tune in to the audio program for my interview with Jeff Meyer. Jeff has worked with over 2500 clients, from pro athletes, performers, coaches, administrators, and corporations. Jeff is from Colorado and earned his bachelor's degree in Social Psychological Kinesiology. he went on to earn a Masters degree in Pedagogy. Both from the University of Noreen Colorado. Jeff has coached men's basketball for 29 years at Division I, Division II, and high school levels. Jeff is a popular speaker with corporations, universities and athletic teams. He inspires though sand on how they can use mental toughness to be more successful in today's competitive climate. To get a hold of Jeff: Email: jeffmeyermentaledge@gmail.com

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Episode 161 The Power of the Human Soul - Interview: Todd Sylvester Today let’s gather around the technological campfire and hear the story of Todd Sylvester, addict turned inspiration. How does our hero come to be addicted to drugs and alcohol as a teen and how did he find his way out of that dark hole? What led him to try and help teens and young people not make his same mistakes and instead take hope in who they are? Stay tuned. His story is featured in Simon Sinek’s new book, “Find Your Why,” and today we’ll get a sneak peak at HIS why. Todd Sylvester learned that the human soul is more powerful than addiction after he beat his own addiction over 25 years ago. In 1989 he founded the non-profit, anti-drug entity Sly Dog “Drug Free That’s Me, which features a sought after education program for elementary schools. This program has encouraged over 100 thousand school-age students while emphasizing principles of positive self-talk (the stories we’re telling ourselves), personal commitment, goal setting and character building. He’s a podcaster, author, speaker and inspiration. When I heard you speak at a conference up at the University of Utah last year I loved your 4 Life Changing Principles because they were right up my alley – you were preaching to the preacher, so I want you to share those, but before you do can you tell us your story? Tune into the audio program to hear Todd's story - how he got started, what rock bottom looked like, and the little girl that helped pull him out of his hole. No one grows up thinking “I want to be an addict when I grow up and lose control over my own choices.” But somehow lots and lots of people end up walking that messy, destructive path. There are lots of things we can get addicted to, and the tragedy with addiction is the way something else takes over our body and our agency. A few months ago I had a friend who fell off the wagon after years of being drug-free. That one decision did serious damage to his career, his bank account, his family relationships, his self respect, and a number of other things he’d been developing in his life. The saying goes, “Once and addict, always an addict,” and so we see the importance of not starting that battle in the first place, or life becomes a constant struggle on and off the wagon. I love Todd’s work because these lessons – the loss and destruction that accompanies addiction, are not ones that we want anyone to have to learn. If we, as people, can be taught, as children, the importance of not stepping anywhere near this path, entire lives can be saved and massive heartache avoided. If you feel Todd’s story could warn or help anyone you know, please pass it along to them. If you have a local elementary school where his program could help children, maybe look into it and pass it along. To contact Todd: @tsinspires

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http://www.toddsylvesterinspires.com/ (www.toddsylvesterinspires.com) As I sign off today I want to shamelessly plug my book: LIFE Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday. The 21 Life Connection Challenges. If you haven’t got your copy, hop on Amazon or the website: loveyourstorypodcast.com and get a copy for you and your family, or your book club or your ladies group. If you make a video of you and your group doing the challenges and send it to me, I’ll send out free Love Your Story t-shirts your way. Send your link to lorijlee@msn.com I’d LOVE to see what you guys are doing out there with the challenges.

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Episode 160 How Being a Hostage Set Her Mind Free - Interview: Jo Marie Taylor There are moments in our lives that change us – become defining moments because they challenge what we thought we knew and make us think about things differently. On 2 August 1990 at 2:00 am, local time, Iraq launched an invasion of Kuwait with four elite Iraqi Republican Guard Division and Iraqi Army Special Forces. The main thrust was conducted by the https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commando (c)ommandos deployed by helicopters and boats to attack https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kuwait_City (K)uwait City while the other divisions seized the airports and two airbases. Kuwait didn’t stand for long and the Iraqi invasion quickly turned into a take-over. JoMarie Taylor, an American, was visiting Kuwait with her Kuwaiti husband found herself a hostage in the country, hiding and navigating the fear and daily threat of death; watching the destruction, rape, murder and mayhem of the invasion – all this challenged the way she thought about life. Tune into the audio program for her story as she shares her hostage experience and the change it created in her life story moving forward. Jo’s story is an opening into our own considerations about how our traumatic experiences shape and change us and how that’s part of the messy, beautiful process we call life. Raised in Ogden, Utah in the 60’s and 70’s JoMarie came from a mixed faith family life with a Catholic mother and a Latter Day Saint father. She met her husband, a former Moslem at Weber State University and they were married in 1987. In 1990 they moved to Kuwait to visit her in-laws because her father in-law had had issues with his heart and while they were there Iraq invaded. Her parents went for 5 weeks hearing nothing but CNN reports on the invasion and being unable to get a hold of their daughter. Let’s hear the story from Jo. Listen to the audio to hear Jo Marie's story. To contact Jo Marie: jomarietaylor1@yahoo.com Pinterest:@healthcoacch.jomarie Facebook: Health Coach JoMarie Website: www.coachJoMarie.com Our life experiences shape us. We hare stretched and refined, pruned and challenged, and in that process we make many choices. We can choose bitterness, cynicism, doubt, victimhood, on and on. We also can choose hope, faith, love, forgiveness, light. I’ve noticed something about older people. Most of them are either grumpy old and bitter, or they are wise, old and enlightened. Some are extreme and of course some lie in between, but it’s easy to see the roll that our chosen stories and focus play in determining who we are and who we become. In my interview with JoMarie we see a woman who, like us all, is shaped by her experiences, and in this case, opened to broader ways of considering life. As you consider your own life experiences, especially the ones you still find difficult, shameful, horrifying…consider your interpretation of events and the story you have built around them. Does that story feed fear and anger? If so, how can you reshape that story to serve you and help you find meaning? If you have chosen to find the meaning and learning in your difficult spaces please take a moment and congratulate yourself for such a healing, wise and self-supporting approach. Sometimes we need help to reframe the stories closest to us. If that’s the case, you can reach out to me or listen to earlier podcasts that share the 5 Steps to reframing your story. Thanks for being with us today! May you grow and stretch as you write your best life story, knowing that while you can’t always chose what happens to you, you can choose your response to those events. Don’t forget to pick up your copy of LIFE – Living Intentional and Fearless everyday – the 21 Life Connection Challenges on Amazon. Share the love. See you in two weeks on the LYS podcast.

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Episode 159 The Art of Working with the Cards You're Dealt - Interview: Erik Jensen Each of us are dealt a deck of cards, so to speak, when we are born onto this planet. This deck includes where we are born, the family we are born into, the culture, geography, religion, expectations, a certain body, health issues, disabilitites, money or no money. We each get a different set-up. I believe we get the set-up that we need in order to learn the things we need to learn. Whether or not you are of that same mind set, we can’t deny that we all have a different set of circumstances and what we do with those circumstances determines who we are and how we live. We are the creators of our own lives, and like an artist we have a certain amount of clay, paint, or in today’s case, recycled computer keys to work with. Erik Jensen is a born artist – He’s also deaf. I met him at the Salt Lake City Arts Festival where he was showing his incredible keyboard keys art creations. It’s hard to explain without graphics, but basically he creates really impressive pictures by coloring and organizing recycled computer keyboard keys into pictures. His art has won several awards since he started in high school, through college and in arts shows and festivals. He graduated from Utah Valley University with a BS in Art Education in 2017. He started doing art with computer keyboard keys in 2013, started doing it as a business in 2017 and and went to being a full-time artist in 2018. He loves spending time with his family and when he finds the time, he even gets on his 36-inch unicycle for exercise! His productive and artistic life is built from his specific deck of cards – a supportive mom and teachers, his artists eye, being deaf and learning how to hear and talk and sign. Tune into the audio program to hear the interview with Erik. To find him and his art: Erik Jensen Art Computer Key Artist erikjensenart@gmail.com http://www.erikjensenart.com/ (https://www.erikjensenart.com) http://www.facebook.com/erikjensenart (http://www.facebook.com/erikjensenart) http://www.instagram.com/erikjensenart (http://www.instagram.com/erikjensenart) What is something in your life that you feel like you may have gotten short-changed on? I knew a woman in my church who said she didn’t want to live with her family after this life because they were really awful to her. She felt like she’d been dealt a crappy family. I met a woman recently who was divorced many years ago, and now in her 70’s she is still stuck in the story of how hard life has always been because she is alone. Maybe you grew up in poverty and it felt like it was impossible to get ahead? Maybe you struggle with an illness that stops you from living how you wish you could. At my house we play Monopoly Deal a lot. This is Monopoly with cards. Every hand is of course a different set of assets, chance cards, money and opportunities to create with, but what you do with your cards determines if you win or lose. What is a card you are holding in your metaphorical deck of life cards that you need to find a way to leverage or learn or create something valuable with? Erik had to work with the card in his hand of being deaf. His choice to not let this unchangeable card hold him back has made all the difference. Your challenge this week is to take stock and find a challenging card in your hand and start playing with ideas of learning or leveraging this card into supporting the life you want. Could it be learning from the cards you’ve been dealt? Empathy and understanding gained? In Episode 83 you’ll remember Wendy Garrett who was in an auto/scooter accident where one of her legs was paralyzed, but instead of making a home in victim land she found joy in getting involved in the world’s 7 largest marathons and having experiences she wouldn’t have had any other way. What does your deck look like? How can you find joy and life satisfaction even from the tough cards? Share this podcast with someone

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Episode 158 A Healthy Relationship to Fear: Interview with Kristen Ulmer Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. Let’s face the fear. Kristen Ulmer is a thought leader on fear and anxiety who draws from her tenure as the most fearless woman extreme skier in the world for 12 years, from intently studying Zen for 16 years, and from facilitating tens of thousands of clients on flow and peak performance. The author of: The Art of Fear: Why Conquering Fear Won’t Work and What to Do Instead, she’s known for radially challenges existing norms about what to do about fear and anxiety. Facilitating and speaking all over the world, some of her clients include Google, Citigroup, Olympic athletes, and the US Air Force. Her revolutionary work has also been featured in such media as NPR, The Wall Street Journal, Forbes Magazine, USA Today, Tim Ferriss’s “Tribe of Mentors,” the Megyn Kelly show and many more. She’s on the show today to share her story of being a world-class extreme skier and to teach us what she understands about facing and managing fear. Tune in to the audio program to hear answers to the following questions and a whole lot more. Tell us the story of how you got started and extreme skiing and what you did. How did you become a fear/anxiety expert? What do you teach that's different from everyone else What fears do you face today? Final words of advice

To find Kristen: www.kristenulmer.com What do YOU fear? What do you do when you fear something? Do you run? Do you hide? Do you face it? Run toward it? Challenge this week is to think about how you are living intentional and fearless everyday and how you can live just a little more fearless. What scary thing can you face this week? What courage muscle can you flex? Don’t forget to use the tools on the loveyourstorypodcast.com website. All the 140+ episodes to share, t-shirts to buy, and links to by the book: LIFE Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday, so youc anget you and your family started on 21 fun challenges to creating more connection and possibility in your life. See you next week. Share the love.

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Episode 157 What if Nothing is Wrong with You? Happy 2020 my people! I know the new year is all about resolutions and what we can do to improve just a bit, and there’s plenty of time for that, but what do you think of the idea that we are pretty darn impressive just the way we are. What if nothing was wrong with you? I know….what if there really was nothing wrong with you and you just accepted that. How would that settle into your heart? Stay tuned for today’s episode on self love, self acceptance, and the novel idea that we are acceptable here and now, just as we are. In fact we are more than acceptable – we are beloved and filled with magic. Since loving ourselves creates the foundation for loving our story – this topic is ideal for the Love Your Story podcast, so I wanted to pose the question to you – What if there is nothing wrong with you? I first heard this statement from Susan Henkel’s TED Talk, part of the “How to Be a Better Human” series, so let’s start there… Susan Henkels has worked as a psychotherapist for more than 45 years. That means she’s spent decades smiling and nodding, decades handing over tissues at the appropriate moment — and decades hearing people tell her all the things about themselves that need to be fixed. One day, as she was listening to a patient take her through the “whole list of what was wrong with her,” says Henkels, “I thought in the middle of this litany, ‘What? There’s actually nothing wrong with her.’” From that moment, she realized there is a surprising power to be found in prompting people to ask themselves, “What if there’s nothing wrong with me?” She says, This does not mean we’re perfect. For instance, most of us could stand to eat better and sit up straighter. But we can stop spending so much time dwelling on our personal shortcomings and imagining how our lives will be better once we finally — finally! — vanquish them. “We create this whole list of what we think is wrong and then create an entire life around it,” In fact, the attributes we think of as problems can be our strengths. Henkels tells this story in her TedX talk. “What if there’s nothing wrong with you?” is about building the skill of acceptance. Henkels says this question is about pressing pause on your inner critic and making “a choice to let go of all the ways you’ve made yourself wrong,” as she puts it. Tune into the audio program to hear a clip of this Ted talk. As you look at your own level of self love, let’s start with these questions. 1. What if there’s nothing wrong with you? And as you start to categorize that favorite list of short comings – ask yourself – What’s wrong with that? Really…could your perceived weakness really be a strength? Let me share a story. I shared this in an earlier podcast, but it applies here so I’ll share it again. Last year I was at a women’s empowerment conference. One of the activities we were doing involved consideration of how who we are and our natural tendencies helps us to fulfill our callings – the things we are here to do. In other words, I am equipped to do what I am here to do. As I personally considered a topic I have often been criticized for and thus I have interpreted it as a weakness – that of being strong willed, determined, and sometimes pushy, it struck me that perhaps I am okay just as I am – perhaps that strength was given to me to accomplish what I need to accomplish. Perhaps I have a warrior goddess energy rather than a healing goddess energy or a sweet, compliant goddess energy because I will have battles I need to fight through, and there is definitely a place for the guardians and warrior goddesses, as much as there is a place for the goddesses of mercy, kindness and a more docile energy. This was the first time this has ever crossed my mind because it went against a cultural representation created about gender roles in my culture. But I loved it because it made sense and because it fostered a space of...

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Episode 156 The Gift of Presence: Interview Rachel ReistOnce upon a time in a land of bounty there lived a woman who knew the difference between a Christmas present and Christmas Presence. She was one of only a few who had slowed down enough to think about the power of being with her people vs. the power of doing things and buying stuff, but the difference it made significantly changed the experiences for all around her, but especially for herself. As a woman, she saw herself as the guardian of her family. She had learned through many years of giving away and trying to meet outward expectations, that holding space for her to be herself and for her loved ones to be themselves, created a sacred space… held a space of sacredness for being present in the most important ways. She created traditions carefully and on purpose and as those traditions were executed and played out she didn’t rush through them, she stayed fully present and enjoyed each moment, each person, each smile, each shift in energy. As she held the space for sacred being she remained fully present to the moment, and this changed all her experiences. She had transformed from harried and rushed with doubts and fears as her carefully planned holiday events unfolded, to a space of presence that was slower, more allowing, and and done with great purpose. One day as she opened her home to guests who were arriving for her dinner party, she had to remind herself that being present with her friends who were soon to arrive was more important than having each hor douvre plate perfectly situation and each napkin folded. “People care more about how you make them feel, than they do about the details of a situation,” she rehearsed. She took a deep breath as the door bell rang and as each guest arrived she didn’t hurry them in, she looked in their eyes, she let them know how grateful she was they had arrived, and then after careful connection with each she opened herself to allow things to unfold as they would, whether or not the night met her expectations. For things seldom unfolded as one expected. Tonight was no exception. As the party closed down they hadn’t had enough time to do the gift exchange at the end of the night – change of plans, people would just take a gift on their way out the door. Jamie, her friend’s husband had spilled a drink on the living room carpet, and Casandra, her friend from work, had gotten into it with one of the other guests, but holding space for each of her beloved friends and being present rather than embarrassed, rushed, or disappointed allowed her to thoroughly enjoy the evening exactly as it played out. As she raised her glass in a final toast she reminded them that this dinner party had been her gift to them for the season and that rather than a present she was so grateful for the gift of their presence in her home. What might the gift of presence look like in your life? How might being present and intentional about each thing you do this holiday season change your experience into a sacred space rather than a harried space? Today I have a guest – Rachel Reist here, who is is a licensed clinical social worker and a Qualified Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction instructor, trained through the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Healthcare, and Society at the University of Massachusetts Medical School. Her career has been devoted to working with children, adolescents, and families and she currently works at the Davis Mindfulness Center. I want to talk about some of the principles illustrated in the story I just told – things like being vs. doing and simplifying, and the power of attunement in our personal relationships. How do we hold space for ourselves and each other? Tune in to the audio program to hear my discussion with Rachel about being vs. doing, slowing down, and the greatest gift we can give to others and ourselves. My wish for you this holiday season is that you will create exactly what you want. That you

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Episode 155 The Power of Flaws - Interview with Chantel Soumis Augusten Burroughts said, “I, myself, am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.” I love this quote because it is a simple statement of our beautiful individuality and the normalness of our unique qualities. Whether we would really actually call these things flaws, sometimes when they don’t align with societal expectation, they feel like flaws. For example, today’s guest is an advocate for the differently-abled community. Her own diagnosis of debilitating multiple sclerosis and her inability to get work after this diagnosis spurred her to fight for a broader more open view of our differences, handicaps, and challenges. Stay tuned for a discussion on the power of individuality and how flaws make us unique, beautiful and indispensable. Chantel Soumis a top LinkedIn Creator with over 30k organic followers in one year. Chantel is also the Founder and Creative Director of Stardust Creative LLC, a brand agency focused on embracing differences through personal and corporate branding. She’s spoken at VidCon as one of the first LinkedIn video creators as well as at international conferences in LA, London, Dallas, and more. As an advocate for the differently-abled community, Chantel spreads awareness, hope, and inspiration to those around the world fighting for acceptance by sharing the hidden struggles of differently-abled community. By administering an attitude of gratitude, Chantel has overcome severe obstacles and spends a substantial portion of her time coaching others to accept and believe in themselves, and to treat one another with dignity and value, recognizing we are all brothers and sisters of the human race. Tune into the audio program to hear Chantel's story and our discussion on how our flaws make us unique and beautiful. Sarah Vowell, in her book, Take the Cannoli, said, “We are flawed creatures, all of us. Some of us think that means we should fix our flaws. But get rid of my flaws and there would be no one left.” In an earlier episode, I shared an insight I gained at a conference this past year – it was that the things I had often acknowledged as flaws within myself were actually exactly who and how I was supposed to be to do what I came her to do. It was a new idea and it was fresh and full of self-acceptance. I am a firm believer in the beauty of the diverse and varied. It is these colors and textures in each of us that make us who we are and help us do what we want and need to do. Your challenge this week is to take one of those things you feel is a flaw about you and to reframe it. Find a statement that celebrates your differences – an affirmation that starts to help you see that supposed flaw as something that is actually helping you be who you need to be and do what you need to do. Embrace and love your own quirky self, whatever that looks like. And remember, most people are very unaware of others flaws, they are too worried about their own. Let any self-criticism go and start with self-acceptance. Don’t forget to use the Love Your Story website – all 150+episodes are available to listen to and share. You can buy your love your story t-shirts, or get the link for my book: LIFE Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday – the 21 LIFE connection challenges. Have a great week taking another step toward self-love and the story YOU want to live. See you in a couple of weeks.

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Episode 154: 2nd Annual Stories of Appreciation: Giving Thanks Ralph Marston, the author of the Daily Motivator, said, “Make it a habit to tell people thank you. To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you, and you’ll soon find many others around you. Truly appreciate life, and you’ll find that you have more of it.”

I love his quotes – they are always so wise, and today his quote is going to usher in four stories of people who took the 2nd Annual Appreciation Challenge.

What is the appreciation challenge? Last year in episode 62 we had the 1st Stories of Appreciation episode where I asked specific people to identify someone in their lives who was under-appreciated and to show them profound appreciation, and then to share with us the experience. Stay tuned to hear the four stories and get ideas for how to plant these seeds in your own life.

I have found that there is one thing everyone craves, and that’s appreciation. When we lavish it we create love, increased self-worth and simple satisfaction. We generate healthier relationships and we plant seeds for a harvest of even more good results from those to whom we have shown appreciation.

A person who feels appreciated will always do more than what is expected.

William James, well-known psychologist and philosopher, said, “The deepest principle of human nature is a craving to be appreciated.”

We all want and need to feel valued for who we are and we love being recognized for our contributions and accomplishments. It’s important for us to know that we have made a difference in the world and to the people around us. When a person takes the time to express real appreciation for something we have done it builds our self-confidence, but more importantly it helps us know we are seen, our efforts have been accepted, and it empowers us. More often than not a simple appreciation also infuses an energy and motivation to work harder and do more. It’s powerful stuff. So, let’s hop in and hear about the experiences people had in going out of their way to show appreciation.

Tune into the audio program to hear the stories from our participants.

I extend this same challenge to you. Think about someone in your life who is often under-appreciated and go out of your way to show them appreciation today. This way of building connection in your life is powerful! Share the love and appreciation, people. It’s a small and simple thing that makes the world and your relationships sooo much richer.

Happy Thanksgiving

Enjoy the abundance in your life and in your relationships. Create more abundance by planting these seeds for your own rich harvest. Thanks for loving Love Your Story.

Remember the website http://www.loveyourstorypodcast.com (www.loveyourstorypodcast.com) has all the episodes – these are also great for sharing. It’s easy to share a link and send someone an episode you think they’d enjoy. You can also buy your copy of LIFE Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday. It’s the perfect Christmas gift for all the people in your life who are seekers and want to create more connection, self-care and possibility in their lives. Easy to get off Amazon and fun to give. I’ll see you in a few weeks on the next episode of the Love Your Story podcast.

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Episode 153 Climb Every Mountain: the quest to do hard things – Interview David Roskelly

Sitting atop the world at 29,029 feet elevation is not something everyone has on their bucket list, but David Roskelley had a whole lot more than just that day in 2013 on top of Everest. He also summited the other 8 highest peaks on the 7 continents. Math not adding up….I’ll let him explain that one to you, but suffice it to say, this incredible athlete and regular everyday guy, loves to do hard things and is here today to share why we can do hard things too. Join me for my discussion with David Roskelley the first American to climb the nine highest peaks on seven continents and the world’s tallest volcanoes on each of the 7 continents. I’m loving his story.

David Roskelley is a partner in an environmental engineering firm called R&R Environmental, Inc., and teaches public health at the University of Utah’s Rocky Mountain Center for Occupational and Environmental Health as an adjunct professor. The Utah resident is clearly an avid mountaineer who has his next goals set on the moon – literally. And that’s a whole other story.

Tune into the audio program to hear about David’s adventures.

David said,

“Many people ask why I chose to set the “Seven Summits” as a goal. The answers are not exactly simple and I’m not 100% certain myself. However, I love to do difficult things and would encourage anyone reading this post to set a difficult goal and work toward it. Otherwise, we tend to float through life rudderless (“take control and set a goal” I say). Recently, I’ve been reading a book by Edward Whymper, Scrambles in the Alps (1871) where he discusses “patient, difficult, laborious toil” in the mountains and how it helps us “come back to our daily occupations better fitted to fight the battle of life and overcome impediments which obstruct our paths, strengthen and cheered by the recollection of past labors”. For me, it’s easier to contend with traffic, email, commuting, phone calls, constant work obligations, etc. after completing something very difficult. I just focus on the accomplishment and everything else pales in comparison.

Don’t think everyone’s “difficult” is the same and don’t feel you have to climb big mountains or run marathons to accomplish something. Everyone’s challenges are different and for some it would be easier to walk across Asia than to speak in public or get married or finish their education.”

What hard thing are you working on in your life? As we discussed in the beginning of this podcast – everyone’s difficult is something different. I’d like to remind you that the difficult you are in today is giving you the strength that you will need to be who you are supposed to be. As the ever-popular phrase goes, “You can do hard things.” We say this because sometimes we need the reminder that we are powerful, courageous and so far our track record for making it through hard things is 100%, and that’s a pretty darn good rate of success.

Your challenge this week is to consider if you need to set a goal – something big and wonderful that feels hard and scary. If you do – take a deep breath, embrace the vision of it happening, and then write that puppy down. Because YOU can do hard things.

Thanks for being with us today. Remember loveyourstorypodcast.com for access to all past episodes, to buy your t-shirt, and the link to buy my new, fun book: LIFE Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday. Join the fun trend of embarking on these life enhancing daily challenges – there are 21 of them in the book. You can also find it on Amazon!

If you’re part of the crowd that has jumped on the 21 Life Connection Challenges in my book – I’d love to hear about your experiences. Drop me a line on the website or on FB.

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Episode 152 What Do You Love About YOUR Life Story? Welcome back to the Love Your Story Podcast. Today we are talking about what you love about your life story. I walked the streets, with microphone in hand, of Salt Lake City, Utah to find out what people love about their life story.

Today I want you to think about what you love about your life story. Today we celebrate the things that are going right. The seeds you’ve planted that have born good fruit. What seeds have you sown and what fruit have you harvested? Ponder on that, but stay tuned to hear what people on the streets said when I put the microphone to them.

At the most basic level of the Love Your Story movement we talk about how we are responsible for creating our best life stories on purpose – because we can. We celebrate the law of the harvest. We don’t get apricots because we plant lettuce. Your life looks the way it does because of your thoughts, your words, your actions. If you’re getting lettuce and you want apricots well, plant apricot seeds, but if you love it, pat yourself on the back and celebrate the things you love because you have also created those – planted those seeds.

Tune into the audio program to hear what people on the street had to say. It’s grand.

Thanks for tuning in. I love almost everything about my life. That doesn’t mean that I don’t have goals or want more of this and that. But I love my home and yard with all it’s big, green trees; I love my children, my family, my job, my friends, my car, my dog and the good, good people in my life who are my friends. I love the magic I see pop up in my life every day. I love summer heat and the abundance I’m blessed with. I love my podcast and the people I meet on my podcast. I love my community and the people in my tribe. Thank you to all of you who make my life so wonderful.

Blessings to you and good job for all the wonderful things you have created in your life story. Keep up the good work!! Keep planting and nourishing the seeds you wish to harvest.

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Episode 151 Finding Your Way to Healing: Interview Bethany Wallace As we share stories around the technological campfire sometimes it seems the main tale is about the character who causes the harm and their path to destruction or learning. But there is also the other side of the story. The story of the victims, those affected by the poor choices of others. Today’s guest had an alcoholic father, two alcoholic husbands, and survived multiple sexual assaults and exploitations before the age of 20.

Stay tuned as we hear Bethany’s story of triumph as we see proof of a 12-step recovery program giving her the strength and insight to overcome, forgive, learn and take action.

Bethany Wallace is proof that 12-step recovery programs work if we’re willing to do the work. She has spent the past 12 years taking actions, often in spite of her feelings, to become a healthier person. She enjoys life with her husband and daughter in the Ozarks. Bethany loves working with others in recovery, advocating for sexual assault victims and survivors, writing, and hiking. Bethany also owns a communications consulting business and partners with mission-minded organizations and companies to improve soft skills and to build better workplaces.

Tune into the audio program to hear Bethany’s story and how we all have different paths to healing.

Support groups or counseling can benefit family members affected by someone else’s alcohol abuse. Alcohol abuse and alcoholism can have devastating impacts on families. Spouses of people with alcohol problems may be at an increased risk for emotional or physical abuse. If you fall into this category, know that you can find support for your own healing as your story unfolds with this battle.

As the hero of our stories we seldom pick the antagonists, the dragons, the Darth Vadars that will show up in our lives to teach us and challenge us. But once we embark on the battle it is the wise soul who looks for resources to aid them in their fight to overcome the dark and rise again into the light.

Your challenge this week is to find resources to help you with whatever your fight is. There are groups, programs, coaches, mentors, doctors, authors…resources to help and guide us. I hope this podcast is one of those, but use everything you can find for your particular battle. This week seek out one.

Don’t forget to use the Love Your Story website – all 150+episodes are available to listen to and share. You can buy your love your story t-shirts, or get the link for my book: LIFE Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday – the 21 LIFE connection challenges.

Have a great week taking another step toward self-love and the story YOU want to live. See you in a couple of weeks.

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Episode 150: The Happiness Guru Is In: Interview with Andy Proctor Who doesn’t want to be happy? When you ask someone what they want in life, the most common answer is “to be happy.” Often the idea of happiness is considered one of chance, luck, or the blessed, but the truth is that your happiness depends only upon the story you create in your own mind about your life. Today’s guest is a certified positive psychology practitioner who has been teaching the science of human flourishing to mass media audiences for the past 5 years. He is the host of the More Happy Life podcast and has been featured in The New York Times, ABC News, Fox Business and many other national publications. He is currently on the board of TEDxBYU and is the director of the 1000 Words speaker series.

Stay tuned for a 5 Tools for creating your own happiness and Andy Proctor’s story of how he found his way to the happiness path.

We are here to thrive, not just to endure. It’s true that difficult things will happen in each of our lives. We’ll all have those dragons to fight and dark swamps to cross….it’s how we earn the magic elixir of learning and strength, but our ability to bounce back from the battles is, in the words of Andy Proctor, “One of the most important life skills we can develop.”

Andy, welcome to the LYS podcast.

So, you are the happiness guy. First and foremost we like a good story on this podcast, so can we head right into your story? What events in your life took place that placed your feet on the path of figuring out how to create happy?

Tune in to the audio program to hear Andy’s story.

What tools have you used that have had the greatest impact in your own personal life?

Some of the tools Andy mentions:

Morning Dance Party – I dance on my trampoline almost every day. This is in an effort to develop my strength of zest. I put my earbuds in and turn on awesome music that makes me want to dance and I imagine I am the life of the party or that I’m on stage dancing in front of a stadium of cheering fans. This generates dopamine and serotonin in my brain as well as helping me to boost BDNF levels that are like “miracle grow” for the brain. A lot of my ideas for my day come while I’m dancing. Not always, but sometimes. I do at least 3 songs. Also, rebounding for 3 minutes boosts your immune system by up to 300%. So that’s also great.

Write a Letter To Yourself – I recently heard a speech by Stuart Edge where he talked about writing a letter to himself asking for advice. I thought this was so powerful so I decided to try it. On a day when I was having a rough time, I decided to write a letter to my future self (64-year-old Andy). I asked for help in dealing with some of the issues I’m trying to figure out in my life. About a week later when I was sitting quietly, I felt like my future self was trying to write back, but I was too tired to write so I went to bed and had a dream of my future life. I woke up the next morning inspired and wrote a letter back from my future self giving me advice and encouragement. There are tons of benefits to doing this. Mindfulness. Trusting your intuition. Writing can improve your mode and be a catalyst for faster healing, and better overall quality of life.

Magic Wand Activity – if you had a magic wand what would you change about the world? List at least five things or as many as you can. Then write what you can do to be a part of that change during your lifetime. List as many as you can. This activity was something I found from the Stanford Greater Good Science Center to increase purpose. It really helped me to zero in on what I thought needed to happen to make the world a better place and I found real things (which I have since done) to make a dent within my sphere of influence. (working on a new anti-loneliness project, creating a course for those who struggle with their faith, etc.) Victor Frankl said...

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Episode 149 How is Your Life Like a Fairytale? Once upon a time, there was you….

And then what happened?

When we are young we pattern our life dreams and expectations after the stories we hear and the movies we watch. Often, in American culture, Disney plays a major role in that. While the Disney rendition of fairytales is a butcher job of the originals, children only know what they are shown and taught and so we head off into our lives picturing a prince or princess and a happily ever-after.

We all want love, magic, and riches. That sounds good – I’ll take that.

I learned this week when I asked people how their life was like a fairytale, that the go-to mindset was to think about how it was a happily ever after. Fairytale seems to equate with perfection or the ideal. Stay tuned to hear my man-on-the-street quicky interviews where people got to share how their lives were like fairytales.

When I first started getting the responses and everyone was going straight to the happily-ever-after, I had to ask – haven’t you ever read an entire fairytale? What about the challenges along the way? What about the problem the main character faced? Repunzel was a prisoner who wanted freedom, Cinderella was enslaved and wanted a little recreation, the Shoemaker and his wife were on the verge of financial ruin and desperately wanted money to buy food, the princess in the Princess and the Frog had lost something important to her. She desperately wanted her golden ball. Goldilocks was tired and hungry and wanted a place to crash.

The main character wants something in these stories and they are faced with major obstacles. Fairytales aren’t just about happily ever afters, they are about a hero or heroine facing heartbreak/challenge/disappointment, often the death of a parent. We love the stories with happy endings, but the stories are only interesting and beloved because the main character found their way through the struggle.

This is the part of the stories that smack a bit more of real life. We will always have challenges because those are the steps to growth and understanding. Challenges –check!

Let’s talk about more ways our lives are like fairytales:

One of the things I love about fairytales is the way magic shows up to help. Whether it is a fairy godmother, or an elf, or a frog, or simply the thing they wanted, there is a pattern that aligns closely with the universal laws of creation. As we desire, believe we will receive, envision and focus, then magic shows up to help us take something from an idea into literal creation. I love the fairy godmothers– the serendipity, the “coincidence” the unplanned for things that show up just when I need them. I love these because it makes life seem so unpredictable and wonderful and supported by goodness. How wonderful to be able to believe that magic will show up. We all have those people we turn to in tough times – the people who show up in a pinch. Sometimes it is the small and simple things – the books, the advice, the workshop, the tip, the connection, the idea that glitters with magic and takes us where we need to go. Pay attention to the magic in your life and celebrate how much it really is like a fairytale. (Listen to the episode on serendipity – episode 10)

It’s also like a fairytale because we have wonderful pets and while they might not sing and talk to us in our native tongue they love us unconditionally and whenever life gets rough they are there.

Have you ever noticed that in fairytales there is almost always an enchanted forest? We also have nature – botanical gardens, backyards, wilderness, hiking trails, fresh air – head into nature and feel the magic.

One of the lessons of fairytales is that beauty is often buried. Things are not as they appear. A beautiful face doesn’t equate with a beautiful personality. The lesson here is the importance of not judging.

What about true love? Most fairytales involve relationships of the romantic kind because this...

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Episode 148 Keys to Courage: Interview with Amy Perkins How many powerful manifestors do you know? What are the keys to being brave enough to get what you really want from your life story?

Today I’m interviewing Amy Perkins, whose platform is the Keys to Courage. Tune in to learn from a lady who has learned to manifest powerfully, and let’s see if we can find some keys for writing the life story we want to live for ourselves.

Amy is passionate about helping you live your best life. That dream life. The one you wish you had.

Eighteen months ago, she got sick and tired of going through the motions. She felt there had to be more. She left a 25-year career in education after witnessing leaders who were not leading with integrity. She wanted a career that was fulfilling, one that made an impact and left a legacy. She sought a deeper bond with her family and she sought richer relationships with friends. So she went on a journey to find her purpose and live with purpose, and on that journey, she found the keys to building confidence, finding clarity and the keys to courage. Today she’s going to share her journey and the magic elixir that she discovered on her own hero’s journey.

Tune into the audio program to hear her story and to find out what she thinks the keys to courage and manifesting are.

To contact Amy:

Learn more about why she founded Keys to Courage at: https://www.keystocourage.com/ (https://www.keystocourage.com/)

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/keystocourage/ (https://www.instagram.com/keystocourage/)

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amy-perkins/detail/recent-activity/shares/ (https://www.linkedin.com/in/amy-perkins/detail/recent-activity/shares/)

Blog: https://www.keystocourage.com/blog/ (https://www.keystocourage.com/blog/)

Self-belief and self-love is always the foundation of living your best life story. I’m grateful for Amy’s enthusiasm and insights into increasing our self-love, our faith, our courage! Share this episode with someone who may need it and your challenge for today is to ………..

Don’t forget to use the Love Your Story website – all 130+episodes are available to listen to and share. You can buy your love your story t-shirts, or get the link for my book: LIFE Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday – the 21 LIFE connection challenges.

Have a great week taking another step toward self-love and the story YOU want to live. See you in a couple weeks.

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Episode 147 Both Sides of the Story: Inside Adoption – Interview with Cherie Burton and Wendy Toomer When Cherie Burton was 25 she got pregnant and was abandoned by the father. Her decision to adopt out her baby daughter was accompanied by all the birth mother grief, stigma, shame, and judgment that often accompanies an unwed mother and “giving a baby away.”

She showed up on the adoptive parents’ doorstep when her daughter was just 3 weeks old and Wendy’s new family let Cherie wake her up and rock her back to sleep. Cherie is here today to walk us through her story of the decision of choosing adoption, the path of the toll that takes on the heart and mind, and the things she’s learned.

The adoption was an open adoption and the adoptive family has always been open with Wendy about her birth mom.

Cherie says “I learned we do not own each other. Parents merely have stewardship and a our souls are on “loan” from the Divine. We’re just all here to teach each other love, sacrifice, forgiveness, kindness and compassion. I’m pretty convinced Wendy, her mom Susan and I had soul contracts with each other to have this experience before we came here.”

Wendy, who is also with us today, says because of the open adoption she has always known how she came to her family and her adoptive parents have always been supportive. She acknowledges that it does have a unique set of issues, but knowing her genetics has helped her deal with PPD and PPA after having her first child, because she knew that mental illness ran in her genes and she was able to seek help from her birth mom to get through some tough spots. She says her birth mom is like an aunt or a best friend and they talk often and are so much alike.

Cherie Burton, the birth mother, has degrees in psychology and sociology and has worked as a group counselor at a psychiatric hospital, an addiction recovery center and a behavioral facility for teen boys. She has stepped away from clinical work to inspire women worldwide to reach their full potential through books, workshops and retreats. Her work as an author, podcaster, international business owner, speaker, mom of 6, emotional release facilitator and leadership development trainer has helped thousands of women magnify their gifts and find wholeness

Wendy Toomer, the adopted child, is now married to her husband Larkin. They have been married for 7 years and she is pregnant with their second child. She is a Master Esthetician specializing in laser hair removal but mainly stays home with her best friend, a wild two-year-old boy named Tucker. During this season of her life she is focused on nurturing babies in a healthy and happy home.

Tune into the audio program for Cherie’s story and how she decided to embark on adoption as a 25-year-old, one year away from graduating from college, and then hear Wendy’s experience as the daughter with two mothers.

This is our first interview on adoption and I am so pleased to be able to do a “Both Sides of the Story” approach. Thank you, Cherie and Wendy, for shining a light on your process of learning, growth, and experience. It is by our stories that we shine a light on the path in front of others in how to move forward in spaces we personally have not yet trod.

To learn more about Cherie’s work you can find her at:

cherie@cherieburton.com Website:https://cherieburton.com/#Home (https://cherieburton.com/#Home) Women Seeking Wholeness Podcast:https://cherieburton.com/category/womenseekingwholeness/ (https://cherieburton.com/category/womenseekingwholeness/) FB: https://www.facebook.com/CherieBurtonPage/ (https://www.facebook.com/CherieBurtonPage/)

As you all know – my motto is to live intentionally and fearless every day!

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not...

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Episode 146 Carpooling With Death: Finding Peace in Loss – Interview Margaret Meloni

In my teens I loved the book series The Incarnations of Immortality. Thantos/Grim Reaper was one of my favorite characters. As an adult, I guess that fascination held over because I dress up as the Grim Reaper for Halloween every year. I have a real scythe hung from the pegboard in my garage. That being said, for all the interest in the incarnation itself, I have only had my grandparent’s die and when my son was diagnosed with leukemia my mind would occasionally turn to the “what if” and I would immediately retreat. At the Western States Folklore conference this past weekend there was a paper presented exploring the use of a character – the Grim Reaper or the like – (and there IS one in every culture) – to represent an event that we each must face. One suggestion that was made was that we have created a figure to escort us from this life into the next because we don’t know where we are going. There are so many unknowns. Perhaps those unknowns are what creates so much fear around death, but as the cheeky like to say, “No one is getting out of here alive.”

Margaret Meloni – the author of Carpooling with Death, is a Buddhist practitioner and a new voice on the subject of death awareness. Dealing with the death of her father, her mother and her husband within a two-year period gave her the opportunity to “make friends with death,” as she put it. Her book is to help others accept death as an essential part of life and to become death ready.

Tune into our audio discussion to hear what she has to say.

To buy her book:

As I conduct my interviews for this podcast, one of the themes that often repeats itself as we deal with some of the most sacred and dark places we have to travel, often death of a child, a spouse, a loved one is at the heart of that struggle. Today’s interview was to share Margaret’s story, but also to give tools as we all must eventually deal with the conclusion of our stories, as well as the conclusion of the stories of loved ones. I hope you’ve received some insights, tips, or inspiration for a positive mind-set shift as we face the final chapters of our stories.

While we life – my motto is to live intentionally and fearless every day! “I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.” Henry David Thoreau. My new book LIFE – Live Intentional and Fearless Every day is available on http://www.loveyourstorypodcast.com (www.loveyourstorypodcast.com). With 21 LIFE Connection Challenges to help you create more connection, possibility, and self-care in your own wonderful story. To help you live on purpose before your own final chapter comes along.

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Episode 145 The Power of Story to Parent and Sell: Interview with Paul Smith

Join me today for my interview with Paul Smith

Paul Smith is one of the world’s leading experts in business storytelling. He’s one of Inc. Magazine’s Top 100 Leadership Speakers of 2018, a storytelling coach, and bestselling author of the books http://amzn.to/1RP5Stv (Sell with a Story) (#1 Amazon bestseller in Sales and Selling), http://ow.ly/C02R9 (Parenting with a Story), and http://amzn.to/S2Zf5n (Lead with a Story) (#1 Amazon bestseller in Business Communication) already in its 11th printing and available in 7 languages around the world. Paul is also a former consultant at Accenture and former executive and 20-year veteran of The Procter & Gamble Company.

As part of his research on the effectiveness of storytelling, Paul has personally interviewed over 250 CEOs, executives, leaders, and salespeople in 25 countries, documenting over 2,000 individual stories. Leveraging those stories and interviews, Paul identified the components of effective storytelling and developed templates and tools to apply them in practice. His work has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Inc. Magazine, Time, Forbes, Fast Company, The Washington Post, PR News, and Success Magazine, among others.

Paul delivers professional workshops and keynote addresses on effective storytelling for leaders and salespeople. His clients include international giants like Hewlett Packard, Google, Ford Motor Company, Bayer Medical, Abbott, Novartis, Progressive Insurance, Kaiser Permanente, and Procter & Gamble.

Paul holds a bachelor’s degree in economics and an MBA from the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania. He lives with his wife and two sons in the Cincinnati suburb of Mason, Ohio. He can be found at http://www.leadwithastory.com (www.leadwithastory.com).

Tune into the audio for my candid discussion with him and hear some of his favorite teaching stories.

To buy his books or follow his work:

Web: http://www.leadwithastory.com/ (www.LeadWithAStory.com) LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/smithpa9 (http://www.linkedin.com/in/smithpa9)

Books: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0814420303/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ll1&tag=pausmispetraa-20&linkId=846df254b21bb5269521a3336f25c24a&language=en_US (Lead with a Story) (Amazon #1 Bestseller in Business Communication) https://www.amazon.com/Sell-Story-Capture-Attention-Build/dp/0814437117/ref=as_li_ss_tl?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1459376833&sr=1-2&keywords=sell+with+a+story&linkCode=ll1&tag=pausmispetraa-20&linkId=02d93e31fccb04d2dcf39510fe7db1d9&language=en_US (Sell with a Story) (Amazon #1 Bestseller in Sales and Selling) https://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Story-Real-Life-Character-Children/dp/081443357X/ref=as_li_ss_tl?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1459376884&sr=1-1&linkCode=ll1&tag=pausmispetraa-20&linkId=80865d43e0f255eba3f00e54399201cd&language=en_US (Parenting with a Story )

Parenting with a Story: Real-Life Lessons in Character for Parents and Children to Share

Sell with a Story: How to Capture Attention, Build Trust, and Close the Sale

Lead with a Story: A Guide to Crafting Business Narratives That Captivate, Convince, and Inspire

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Episode 144 The Power of Novelty

Bored? Been doing a lot of the same things lately? Talking to a lot of the same people? Dealing with the same old problems?

Have you ever watched a movie or read a book where every day was exactly the same? The reason there is only one movie like this – Groundhog Day – is because it’s a reallllly boring story. We, humans, have active minds and novelty, freshness, bright and flashy squirrels grab our attention. Today’s podcast is about the richness of bringing novelty into your story.

We all have ways of doing things. We all have things that work for us.

I like my flavor of tea, I like to drive my Subaru, I like my house clean, I prefer my ripped jeans, and if I had my druthers I would wear high heels maybe only 5 times a year. I have my favorite Burt’s Bees lip color. And frankly, it’s taken me a lifetime to get all my favorites pinned down. I’m not saying get rid of the good stuff. But I am opening a discussion about bringing a little va-voom into your love life, into your family relationships, into your exercise routine, into your career….where could your life use some novelty? Let’s shake it up.

Cambridge Dictionary defines novelty as the quality of being new and unusual.

Have you ever been in a place where someone did something completely unexpected? They busted out a dance move, or started singing at the top of their lungs, or threw you over their shoulder. What about the dance mobs that show up in a shopping center or the giant bouquet of balloons someone sent you at work? These things are unexpected and they are fun, interesting and memorable.

Let me start with a question for you – which part of your life is a little flat? I have a rather easy solution for you. Just requires a little thought, maybe just some spontaneity.

The solution is novelty.

Today’s discussion is going to be short, sweet and to the point – just a reminder to add some spice and keep things interesting. I’ll keep it short so you have more time to figure out the fresh, new thing you’re going to add to your life story today.

Research into brain health and longevity suggests that regular experiences of novelty are essential to a long, happy life. Why is this?

It’s simple – according to Brain World Magazine, novelty makes us happy because a rush of dopamine accompanies fresh experiences of any kind. In one study published in the journal Neuron, participants were shown a set of pictures – mostly commonplace images like landscapes, faces, interiors, then randomly an “oddball” image was thrown in and when that happened the pleasure centers of the brain lit up resulting in that dopamine rush.

This programming has probably helped us seek learning and growth through the ages. The attraction to novelty motivates us to explore and adventure and this gives us more information for survival.

But how does it help us live better now? Is novelty important in our safe modern world? I’m going to suggest it’s exactly the same. Maybe we’re not exploring new lands or maybe we are, but what if something as ordinary as the survival of a relationship requires something a little new and fresh? Frankly, it’s impossible to thrive without novelty and understanding this about the human condition is a powerful tool to living better and creating better relationships at home, work, and in the world around us.

When you do the same thing all the time with the same person life becomes WAY too predictable, less fun, and sometimes just boring. Maybe the best thing for your love life or a relationship that’s getting a little dull is to shake it up. Do something you haven’t done before, or done for a while. Do something unexpected.

So here are some ideas for you:

I surveyed a dozen people about novelty ideas to spice up relationships. Aside from all the sexual remarks that popped out- which is also a great idea, other ideas included:

Having each person write a list of 5 things they’d like to try or do and then...

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Episode 143 Suicide Panel: The plea to “Stay in Your Body” Part 2 Welcome back to the Love Your Story podcast. Today is Part 2 of the Suicide Panel Discussion. If you missed last week’s discussion – go back and grab it – these 4 panelists are a powerhouse, and I must admit, just when I thought I knew what one of them was going to say, they surprised me with a different insight. I put together this panel because of my own shock at what is being called the suicide “epidemic.” It used to be that every once in a while you’d hear about someone taking their own life, but it wasn’t often and it was said in hushed tones. Now, it seems like every week I hear of someone else committing suicide and I’m shocked and filled with questions. What has cause the increase in suicide? Why now? What’s going on out there in battle for our lives?

We all know that space of feeling disconnected, of being frustrated that life/relationships/career didn’t turn out as we expected. I’m sure at one time or another we’ve all felt alienated. It’s when those feelings of disconnection and alienation combine with the hopelessness that things will never change that suicide has become an all too familiar option. But what is the cause of so much hopelessness?

Tune in for the rest of our discussion with this dynamic panel:

Cherie Burton

has worked as a group counselor at a psychiatric hospital, an addiction recovery center and a behavioral facility for teen boys. She has stepped away from clinical work to inspire women worldwide to reach their full potential through books, workshops and retreats. Her work as an author, podcaster, international business owner, speaker, mom of 5, emotional release facilitator and leadership development trainer has helped thousands of women magnify their gifts and find wholeness. Cherie’s sister took her own life and this has affected Cherie’s work.

Link to Cherie Burton’s podcast: Women Seeking Wholeness – https://cherieburton.com/category/womenseekingwholeness/

Ganel-Lyn Condie

is a popular motivational speaker – known for inspiring others with her unique honesty, authenticity and spirit. She is dedicated to her family, faith, and inspiring others. Ganel-Lyn loves teaching others with speaking and writing. She has experienced healing from a major chronic illness and is the mother to two miracle children. After the heart-breaking suicide of her 40-year-old sister, Ganel-Lyn is constantly working towards prevention. Ganel-Lyn lives with an open heart and feels passionate about sharing principles that will empower others to live life with more joy. She is a regular television and radio guest. Ganel-Lyn’s talks and books have now encouraged thousands of people all over the world. She loves growing older with her cute husband Rob and aims to keep learning and loving.

For links to Ganel-Lyn’s books, talks, and platform: http://www.ganellyn.com/

Megan Cook Johnson

received a Masters Degree in Social Work from BYU in 2008. She has been a therapist at LDS Family Services for 10 years where her focus has been treating Depression and Anxiety. She had recently been trained in Hypnotherapy and is working on starting a private practice. Megan is the Co-Founder of The Emily Effect Foundation, an organization that honors her late sister Emily and seeks to raise awareness and improve resources for those experiencing Postpartum Mood Disorders.

Link to the Emily Effect Foundation: https://theemilyeffect.org/

Seth Adam Smith

is a best-selling, award-winning author and blogger whose writings have been translated into over thirty languages and featured on the Huffington Post, Good Morning America, Fox News, CNN, the Today show, Forbes, and many other news outlets around the world. In 2015, his book “Your Life Isn’t for You” was awarded a gold medal for inspirational memoir.

A survivor of a suicide attempt in 2006, Seth has...

Your Life Isn't for You: A Selfish Person's Guide to Being Selfless

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Episode 142 Suicide Panel: The plea to “Stay in Your Body” According to SAVE – Suicide Awareness and Voices of Education (who uses the most recent data available from the Centers for Disease Control and the World Health Organization) the following facts show us the current state and rate of suicide in the US.

Suicide is the 10thleading cause of death in the US for all ages. (CDC)

Every day, approximately 123 Americans die by suicide. (CDC)

There is one death by suicide in the US every 12 minutes. (CDC)

Depression affects 20-25%of Americans ages 18+ in a given year. (CDC)

Suicide takes the lives of over 44,965 Americans every year.

80% -90% of people that seek treatment for depression are treated successfully using therapy and/or medication.

Welcome back to the Love Your Story podcast.

Every human soul is precious. We all know that space of feeling disconnected, of being frustrated that life/relationships/career didn’t turn out as we expected. I’m sure at one time or another we’ve all felt alienated. It’s when those feelings of disconnection and alienation combined with the hopelessness that things will never change that suicide has become an all too familiar option.

What is the cause of so much hopelessness? Why is suicide so prevalent now that the word ‘epidemic’ has been used to describe it? What is the cause and what is the solution?

Today I have an amazing panel put together on the topic of suicide. These men and women have personal experience with suicide – either with family members or in Seth’s case, his own personal experience. We have put this panel together because we care. Because suicide as a supposed solution is out of control and we need to find answers, reduce shame, and shine a light of hope.

Let me introduce the panel members and we’ll see if we can answer any of these questions and gain some insight and even hope.

Cherie Burton

has degrees in psychology and sociology and has worked as a group counselor at a psychiatric hospital, an addiction recovery center and a behavioral facility for teen boys. She has stepped away from clinical work to inspire women worldwide to reach their full potential through books, workshops and retreats. Her work as an author, podcaster, international business owner, speaker, mom of 5, emotional release facilitator and leadership development trainer has helped thousands of women magnify their gifts and find wholeness. Cherie’s sister took her own life and this has affected Cherie’s work.

Link to Cherie Burton’s podcast: Women Seeking Wholeness – https://cherieburton.com/category/womenseekingwholeness/

Ganel-Lyn Condie

For links to Ganel-Lyn’s books, talks and platform: http://www.ganellyn.com/

Megan Cook Johnson

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Episode 140 Healing Body and Mind: Interview Amanda Grow – Part 2 Welcome to the rest of Amanda Grow’s story.

Did you know that the United States has the highest maternal mortality rate in the developed world? Because severe childbirth complications have become very rare, it is easy to forget that childbirth can be life threatening. Amanda Grow, a wife and mother of 4 children – 1 daughter and 3 sons, experienced an extremely rare complication of childbirth known as Amniotic Fluid Embolism which has a mortality rate of 80%. Last week you heard about her rapid blood transfusion that nearly drained the hospitals blood supply and left her in a medically induced coma for a week.

This week we’ll get more of her story and talk about the importance of healing.

Amanda’s story today isn’t just about a miracle and the healing of her body. It’s also about the toll such an event takes on us mentally as well as physically, and today we’re looking at the total process of finding meaning in brokenness and the process of rebuilding.

Amanda is the owner of Strategic ACT Prep, a business she built over 10 years that helps high school students prepare for standardized tests. At the time of her medical crisis, she had 12 employees and three locations. The crisis necessitate major life changes as it took many months to regain mental and physical functioning. She and her business partner summoned the courage to shut down all 3 locations and let all the employees go. In the aftermath of the crisi, Amanda has also experienced mental health challenges characterisctic to Post Intensive Care Syndrome, situational drpession, and post traumatic stress. She has also struggled through a deep identity crisis as she no longer has the energy to the “do it all” mo, business owner and community member she once was Amanda has a bachelors degree from Brigham Young University and a Master’s degree from the Univesity of Utah. She and her husband now serve on the Patient and Family Advisory Council for Intermountain Medical Center.

In this two-part series we are talking about recovering from accidents, loss, death. Sometimes we may gloss over the real process of climbing out of those dark holes that take us to the brink of strength. Mental and emotional recovery can be significantly harder than a physical recovery. It can be a long road to becoming whole and even then we will most certainly not be the same. Sometimes what must be grieved is the loss of who we were before. This is all a normal part of growth and life. It’s worth the two episodes to get the whole story and to learn about giving ourselves space to heal.

Tune into the audio program for the rest of the interview with Amanda.

To follow Amanda and her story on Facebook: Miracles for Amanda Grow

Your challenge for this week – the same as last week (while we’re on the topic) is to think about your own journey. Is there a space where you have expected yourself to bounce back more quickly, or expected someone else to bounce back and get back to normal without a sensitivity to the length and depth of the process. Consider what this looks like in your circles and see if there isn’t a place where you need to check in, allow, and nurture, yourself or another.

Remember the website – You can go there to get your copy of my new book: LIFE – Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday. The 21 Life Connection Challenges. Or hop on Amazon.

On the website you can also buy t-shirts, listen to all the past episodes, and reach out if you would like to contact me. See you next week.

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Episode 139 Healing Body and Mind: Interview Amanda Grow – Part 1 Did you know that the United States has the highest maternal mortality rate in the developed world? Because severe childbirth complications have become very rare, it is easy to forget that childbirth can be life-threatening. Amanda Grow, a wife, and mother of 4 children – 1 daughter and 3 sons, experienced an extremely rare complication of childbirth known as Amniotic Fluid Embolism which has a mortality rate of 80%.

Amandas story today isn’t just about a miracle and the healing of her body. It’s also about the toll such an event takes on us mentally as well as physically and today we’re looking at the total process of finding meaning in brokenness and the process of rebuilding.

Tune into the audio program to hear about her rapid blood transfusion that nearly drained the hospital’s blood supply and left her in a medically induced coma for a week.

We’ll discuss questions like:

You said, “A crisis or trauma is not just one chapter in your life…it is a deep canyon that affects everything going forward from that point.” Tell me a little about that.

What do you feel is the most important part of your story?

What was your biggest struggle?

What has been your most important growth or insight gained?

How are you doing now?

To follow Amanda on Facebook look for: Miracles for Amanda Grow

So often we are talking about recovering from accidents, loss, death….the stories we tell here are always about the victors who find their way out of the dark, and they shine a light for us so that if we are having similar experiences we can learn from their stories. Sometimes is hindsight I think we may gloss over the real process of climbing out of those dark holes that take us to the brink of strength. Mental and emotional recovery is significantly harder than physical recovery. It can be a long road to becoming whole and even then we will most certainly not be the same. Sometimes what must be grieved is the loss of who we were before. This is all a normal part of growth and life.

Amanda’s story and feelings about her story focus on these concepts of acknowledging the real journey.

Your challenge for this week is to think about your own journey. Is there a space where you have expected yourself to bounce back more quickly, or expected someone else to bounce back and get back to normal without a sensitivity to the length and depth of the process. Consider what this looks like in your circles and see if there isn’t a place where you need to check in, allow, and nurture, yourself or another.

Remember the website – You can go there to get your copy of my new book: LIFE – Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday. The 21 Life Connection Challenges. Or hop on Amazon.

On the website you can also buy t-shirts, listen to all the past episodes, and reach out if you would like to contact me. See you next week.

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Episode 139 Speak Your Truth – with Guest Co-Host Laurann Turner Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. Today is episode 2 with co-host LaurannTurner on deck for another imporatnt LIFE hack conversation.

Your hosts are:

Lori Lee – author of LIFE – Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday: the 21 LIFE Connection Challenges

and

Laurann Turner – author of: Every Single Day

Today we are talking about Speaking Your Truth. What does it mean to speak your truth?

Barbara De Angelis is an American relationship consultant, lecturer and author, TV personality, relationship, personal growth adviser and spiritual teacher. She said, “Living with integrity means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe.”

I start out this audio conversation by asking Laurann, “What is speaking your truth to you?”

Tune into the audio program for our important discussion on why you “aren’t Willie Wonka so quit selling sugar.”

To buy Laurann’s book go to Amazon.com

Thank you for tuning into the Love Your Story podcast. Please leave us a review on whatever format you listen to your podcasts. We would so appreciate that love from your side of the world.

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Episode 138 You See What You Look For – with Guest Co-Host Laurann Turner Welcome to the Lori and Laurann Series. During the month of May I will have Laurann Turner on to co-host with me on two important life-hack topics.

Your hosts are:

Lori Lee – author of LIFE – Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday – the 21 LIFE Connection Challenges

And

Laurann Turner – author of – Every Single Day

Today we are talking about how you WILL see what you look for. I want you to do an experiment with me. Wherever you are listening to this I want you to look around you for 15 seconds and notice everything that is red …….Okay now close your eyes.

Tell me everything that you noticed that was blue.

The first time I did this it clarified this idea of the power of my focus as a person. I could only remember the red because that was exactly what I was focused on. I quickly saw how this applied to other aspects of life.

If I’m looking for good I’ll find it, at the exclusion of all else. If I’m looking for bad and focusing on the unfair and negative aspect of a situation, I won’t be able to see the good. Stay tuned as Laurann and I kick around the idea.

Tune into the audio program for our discussion on how you WILL see what you look for. You don’t want to miss it.

Martha Beck said, “No storyteller can describe everything that ever happens to a hero; as autobiographers, we build our stories from a very limited selection of facts. The information we choose to include or exclude determines whether we see our lives as comedy, tragedy, romance, or adventure.” In other words, we will create our story by what we look to include in it. Will yours be a tragedy or a comedy? Will it be a love story or an inspirational how-to? You decide.

To buy Laurann’s book go to Amazon.com

Thank you for tuning into the Love Your Story podcast. Share this episode with someone who could use it today. Share the love.

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Episode 137 Interview Christine McAlister – The Crossroads – Which path does your story take? Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. Today I want to start out with a question: Have you ever had something really horrible happen in your life, and you came to the understanding that your story could go one of two ways – you could hide, wallow, wear the cloak of victimhood, lose yourself in the sadness or self-loathing or embarrassment, or whatever emotion was kicking your ass at the time, or you could write a life story with a resilient main character? When I talk about this I know it sounds a little flippant as if doing this is easy and must be done, but the truth is that it’s anything but easy. It’s the space where the battle is waged in our hearts and minds, but the outcome is what determines if our story is a tragedy, a comedy, and inspirational how-to. That crossroads is a crucial space in all stories. Today my guest is Christine McAlister, a woman who gave birth to a full-term stillborn daughter and stood staring at this very crossroads. “I would have much rather died,” she said to me. Stay tuned for her story and struggle at the crossroads.

Christine McAlister and her husband and “rainbow baby,” Fiora, live with their 2 rescue dogs, near their Arabian horses, in Louisville, Kentucky. She is a lover of books and stories and an entrepreneur, business coach, and the author of the #1 bestseller The Income Replacement Formula: Seven Simple Steps To Doing What You Love And Making Six Figures From Anywhere. An expert on turning tragedy into triumph, she founded her company, Life With Passion, after the full-term stillbirth of her first daughter, Maeve. She’s been featured in Inc., Business Insider, The Huffington Post, and the Entrepreneurs On Fire podcast. Christine is a big self-knowledge junky and she helps high-achievers all over the world to replace their incomes and ditch their 9-5s, by building businesses out of their passions.

Join me on the audio program to hear Christine’s story of birthing a stillborn child and how she decided which crossroads to take.

To follow Christine:

Founder, http://www.lifewithpassion.com/ (Life With Passion) Join us now at https://www.facebook.com/groups/lifewithpassionsociety (The Passionate & Profitable Entrepreneur Society), a cozy, supportive Facebook group for women chasing their big dreams!

The Income Replacement Formula: 7 Simple Steps to Doing What You Love & Making Six Figures From Anywhere https://amzn.to/2Ki0SfC (is now available on Amazon!)

Your challenge this week:

Walt Whitman said, “Happiness, not in another place, but this place…not for another hour, but this hour…” What story could you reframe – if it were possible to reframe it, where you would shift you from a place of victim to resilient hero/heroin?

Share this episode with someone who could use it today. And don’t forget you can find my book: LIFE – Living Intentional and Fearless Everyday on Amazon or on the website: http://www.loveyourstorypodcast.com (www.loveyourstorypodcast.com)

See you next week on the Love Your Story podcast.

The Income Replacement Formula: 7 Simple Steps to Doing What You Love & Making 6 Figures From Anywhere

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Episode 136 Am I Worthy of Happiness? Love? Being Treated Well? In 1992 Wayne’s World came out. A silly show about 2 slacker friends who are trying to promote their cable show. One of their famous cult lines is “We’re not worthy.” They would sing out this phrase whenever something particularly good happened. We used to use this saying to elicit a laugh within our group of friends. I don’t know if any of us ever actually felt that way, we were just goofing around and being silly, but as I talk with people as I do my current work with story one of the primary issues that repeatedly pops up is that many people feel unworthy. Unworthy of good love. Unworthy of a good life. Unworthy of being treated well. They play small because they feel they deserve to be disregarded, heck they don’t deserve something better. Whether it’s a voice in their head that capitalizes on mistakes they’ve made, or something they have marinated in over the years as others made thoughtless comments, these feelings are no joke. They create small lives and relationships where people feel like they deserve to be treated badly. Let’s talk about why the idea of unworthiness is a lie – in EVERY case.

Am I worthy? Sometimes this isn’t even a question we ask ourselves, it’s just a sense – a feeling we harbor that influences whether we dare to think big, act big, and demand respectful treatment.

I think the first question is… worthy of what? Am I worthy to be loved? Am I worthy to be treated well? Am I worthy of happiness? Am I worthy of good fortune?

One of the ways that I test an idea is comparing the light it brings. Let me explain:

Often times the idea of “worthiness” has something to do with God. Worthiness and God have been linked for as long as we have records/scripture.

So here is the question I ask myself. Does God want us to live small – beneath our capability? Does God want us settling for unhappy, abusive or dark situations because we’ve deemed ourselves unworthy?

One distinct scripture comes to mind: “The worth of souls is great in the sight of God.”

Notice it did not say the worth of a clean soul or a perfect soul is great in the sight of God….no it said the WORTH of a soul is great.

If God deems the worth of every soul as great do you think that changes because someone else on this planet told you you weren’t worth much? No. Who do you believe? God or the other?

Who creates feelings of self-doubt and unworthiness – would that ever be God? Does that create light or love? No.

One of my favorite scriptures is 2Timothy 1 – “For God does not give us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

We are worthy simply because we are children of God. Any other feeling is NOT from him. Our worthiness is not even dependent upon our actions or the side of the tracks we come from, or what other people think of us or say about us. We are worthy of love, happiness, and all good things because we are here.

I asked Laurann Turner, the author of Every Single Day and proponent of self-love and acceptance — you’ll remember her from an episode last month– about the idea of worthiness, we ended up in a big conversation.

Tune into the audio program for our conversation.

We are worthy, YOU are worthy, just as you are, to lift your eyes to the light, to seek after good things, to embrace all you are and can be, and go make great things happen. You are worthy of happiness. No one, no action, no way of being can take that away from you. You are worthy of being treated well and expecting that treatment. You are worthy of your greatest happiness.

In the Doctrine and Covenants 71:6 – a scripture—it says, “For unto him that receiveth it shall be given more abundantly, even power.”

This tells me we need to accept our own worthiness as a child of God. That we need to accept the gifts he has for us, and we need to keep accepting the joy and right to create a beautiful life that is...

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Episode 135 Divorce Panel Marriage and divorce are both common experiences. According to the American Psychological Association, in Western cultures, more than 90 percent of people marry by age 50. This is healthy and desirable both mentally and physically when the relationship is healthy. But 40-50% of marriages in the US end in divorce with the rates being even higher for subsequent marriages.

But let’s be clear…none of us got married with the intention of getting divorced. Suffice it to say, we can all say, “I never thought I’d be here.”

I see this comment a lot on online dating profiles in the online dating realm. Other comments I see often include “just trying to make it through,” “I love my family more than anything.” “my kids are my whole world,” and “I like to laugh, have fun, and I’m looking for someone with a sense of humor.”

The first two quotes establish the rocky and difficult nature of the path divorce shoves us onto; a path we didn’t plan for, a path full of pain, and loss of life expectations, a path of destruction. The third and fourth quotes emphatically state loyalties and responsibility as we cling to the loves of our lives, our children, trying o keep them steady on the path adult decisions have forced upon them and keep our own hearts from hemorrhaging any further with loss of time, connection with blood of our blood and bone of our bone; our babies. And the last quote speaks to a need to rebuild, to find hope, to laugh again and to laugh with someone. This podcast episode will look more deeply at these three areas.

Sometimes divorce is selfishness, messy betrayals, and a path through hell. Some divorces are more amicable, but it is still the destruction of a partnership that at one time held hope and dreams. Sometimes divorce is because we are too lazy to get unselfish and grow, but sometimes walking away has nothing to do with weakness and everything to do with strength.

For any of you who know my story – you know that my divorces are the basis for the entire Love Your Story podcast. My story is told in 3 video segments on the Love Your Story website, but in a nutshell, my feelings of failure and the shame that accompanied that did not create a story I loved or was at peace with. I had to reframe my story of failure by focusing on the things I learned and the things those lessons prepared me for. I focused on my growth and the fact that I did the best I could at the time and so did the others involved. My new focus was on acceptance, and allowing, and moving forward with faith and hope in better things.

Today I have a panel of five adults who have gone through a divorce. Three men and two women. I will be the mediator of the panel and will ask the questions. Each one of these people has had very different experiences, but today we are here to hear what they learned and what they would do over again and what they wouldn’t. Let me introduce the panel members:

Doug L. is from Colorado. He was married for 24 years and has been divorced for about a year and a half. He says he got divorced because his wife told him they were getting divorced – there’s also a little diverging religion and a roving eye on her part, but we’ll keep the details minimal. He says he likes walks on the beach, sunsets and kittens. Turn-offs are vegetarians and neighbors who let their dogs poop on his front lawn, and hairy backs (not sure if that is on men or women.)

Jae B. was originally from Colorado, spent his first marriage years in Texas, and a few years ago moved to Utah to be close to his children. He has been married twice. He had 3 children with his first wife, who he was married to for 13 years. His second marriage was mix of 7 kids and lasted 2 years.

Kathy S has been married and divorced twice. She has 3 children – 1 with her first husband and 2 with her second. She says her first marriage failed because neither us them were really mature enough to see past their own wants and needs, and the...

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Episode 134 Living Intentional and Fearless Every day

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “in the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.”

In other words: Happiness is an inside job and we are VERY POWERFUL beings. Today we are going to talk about what it means to live intentionally and fearless and I’m going to tell you about a new tool to help you jump into that feet first.

I was on a podcast interview with Emily and Erik Orton from New York last week. They are the authors of the book Seven at Sea. He is a screenwriter and one of his productions flopped – stayed open for only 5 weeks, and he had to take a temporary job in a high rise. His job gave him a view out the window of the Hudson River and he used to watch the sailboats sailing by. He started dreaming about what it would look like to learn to sail; to live life on your own terms. He wasn’t from the class of people who usually sail. His wife, Emily who stayed at home with their 5 kids, had a fear of deep water, but one step at a time they considered What Could Go Right instead of What Might Go Wrong. Soon enough they had learned how to sail, taught their children, and they found themselves living on a sailboat for a year as they traveled 5000 miles from New York to the Carribean and back. This was all done despite having very limited funds, their youngest daughter was down syndrome, and none of them had any background in sailing.

I loved this interview because when I asked them what their big takeaway from this incredible life adventure was, Emily answered that she found 3 types of confidence: 1. She learned to trust herself because she did what she set out to do. 2. Competence: She learned new skills on this adventure so she had an increased sense of Competence – how to rig, how to find food in completely unknown places, a hundred new things she learned how to do. 3. She gained a sense of comfort with uncertainty. They learned after weeks and months of sailing to new islands, not knowing their way around, not knowing where food would be on each island, not having a crystal ball about weather, or having all the answers…..they learned to trust that things would emerge and they would find their way.

Erik said – “We will not know all the answers when we begin, and that’s okay. Now we know we will figure them out.”

This last one was my favorite because it was the learned skill and choice or FAITH OVER FEAR.

I saw an ad in an Oprah magazine many years ago, it said, “Every woman has a story. It’s not how you tell it, it’s how you live it.”

The Love Your Story platform has 3 parts: 1. The Past: Most of us have stories from our past that hold us back. Those stories hold shame, or a deep sense of victimhood, or unworthiness, or regret. Until we learn to reframe these we stay stuck in places that we can’t progress past. I work with clients to help them reframe their stories. 2. The Present: When I did my original presentation to this group last year I talked about this aspect of story – the stories that we are telling ourselves right now and the importance of recognizing the negative ones that eat away at our confidence, worthiness and engagement with the world. These are critical to recognize and manage. 3. The Future – this is my focus for today’s discussion – taking action – living intentional and fearless to create the story line you want to tell, the story line you want to live. This requires intention and courage.

We do lots of this – fighting against the fear and self doubt. What’s one thing you’re doing to live intentional? To live fearless?

We are not pawns of life. We are the creators of our stories and by living intentional and fearless every day we can write a story that brings us fierce joy, pride in our risings, and treasure troves beyond what we may realize we are capable of. We can do this because the universe has our...

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Episode 133 Interview Emily and Erik Orton – Seven at Sea: What Could Go Right? Wanderlust. Boredom. Frustration. Whatever the reason, we have all had days where we wished we could just pack our bags and take off. But for a myriad of reason – spouse, kids, jobs, responsibility – we do not.

Last year we followed the Kjars, a family who sold their home and loaded their kids in a motor home and headed out to visit 50 states in 52 weeks. They left their daily lives – the grind and created an unusual storyline. Today I am speaking with another family, this one from New York City, who took their 5 children, cast off convention, and loaded up a sailboat for a year at sea with just their family. Erik and Emily Orton recently published their book – Seven at Sea.

The book takes us along for the ride of challenges, joys and concrete issues like finances, schooling, learning how to sail….but most important, and the thing I like best is that it reminds us that our lives are what we make them. We write our story plot lines and we have far more freedom in our creative writing than most of us allow ourselves. Today I want to talk to the Orton’s about their adventures, but also about how one finds the guts to think outside the box and write crazy plot lines with oodles of meaning and excitement.

Erik Orton worked a temp job night shift in a cubicle in Manhattan to help provide for his wife and their five children, the youngest with Down Syndrome. Erik watched the sailboats on the Hudson River during his breaks and dared to dream that life could be more than just surviving. Despite having no sailing experience, his wife Emily’s phobia of deep water and already being financially stretched, the family of seven turned their excuses into reasons and their fears into motivation as they set off on a voyage that ultimately took them 5000 miles from New York to the Caribbean and back.

Tune into the podcast for my amazing interview with this brave and dynamic couple.

To follow Eric and Emily or to buy Seven at Sea:

www.sevenatsea.com

I feel like the meaning of today’s podcast is about customizing our own lives. Your challenge for this week is to consider what excuses you’ve let get in your way of writing some really great scenes into your life story. What are those excuses and what creative way could you get around them if you REALLY wanted to? Consider it…..

Thanks for joining us today on the Love Your Story podcast. Share this episode, or another favorite episode with a friend – share the love people. Share the love and live big, bold and on purpose. You got this!

Don’t forget loveyourstorypodcast.com for t-shirts, the 21-Life Connection Challenges book, to sign up for coaching and all the past episodes of the podcast.

Have a great week.

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Episode 132 Interview Rebecca Cookston – Deviate What does it mean to deviate?

When I think of the word deviate I think of getting off course. Does deviate have a negative connotation to you? In the book Deviate, the Science of Seeing Differently, by Beau Lotto, he discusses the idea of looking at things differently in order to get different results. The word deviate is more about choosing what not to look at, in order to create a new experience.

Today I am introducing you to a guest who is dear to my heart. Rebecca Cookston is a personal friend of mine whom I met while walking along my street one day. She had moved in four or five doors down with her new husband – husband number four, in a small cottage where she would create a worm farm and home school her children. She’s a salt-of-the-earth wisdom worker and I’ve spent many an hour discussing ideas with her over the years. Her experience with her now, 5 husbands, was always interesting to me for a number of reasons, first, I loved that someone I respected had even more marriages under their belt than I did – and she was younger than me, and I also admired the way she took it in stride. She didn’t ever seem to be embarrassed, she lived and learned and accepted the experiences as part of her journey. After a few years, I was helping her pack up a trailer so she could safely return back home to her parents as she exited marriage number four. Just like her previous relationships, this one too was fraught with emotional and verbal abuse and physical intimidation. I took a couple of her house plants to “babysit” until she had her own space again, and she moved on to create something totally different. She is now a 4-time divorcee, a woman of the earth who had at several points, had to learn how to survive on food stamps and do the single mother hustle. Through her life experiences, Rebecca has learned to shift her focus to not look at certain things and this allows her to create a whole new range of possibilities which didn’t exist before. By doing this her life has greatly deviated onto a new and wonderful path.

Tune into the podcast for the actual interview with Rebecca Cookston.

Rebecca does not hang out in the social media space, so no links for her here.

Since my conversation with Rebecca, the idea of deviating has been on my mind in a more proactive way. When something comes up in my life and I start thinking – geez, it should look like this – I’m stopping, and I find myself saying, “why does it have to look like that? What if instead, it looked like this?”

For example, as I have studied under the big podcast and online coaching players in the industry my idea of success has been formed by their results – big money, big following, big impact.

What is MY idea of success though? As I’ve pondered and sought inspiration around this I have had a number of things come clear – first, success is in the individual impactful and influence on THE ONE. When we focus on the real help we can give just ONE person, then we have real influence. It’s not a puppy mill, it’s not a fast-tracking of clients to get numbers, it’s about real lives one at a time. By redefining what success is to me and choosing where I look and where I don’t look – I’m looking at the one and taking it one at a time with my clients instead of looking at comparison stats. My actions and peace deviate by allowing for a different definition of success. I’ve also had the clarity that I can not know the ripples and impact of my work because it reaches well beyond monitoring. This helps me deviate my definition of success also.

This life-hack tool of writing our own stories creates a real sense of creativity and freedom. Freedom from the “norm,” and the “expected,” with a move toward possibility and creative license within your own life. If we can think outside the box and create a new way of arranging perceptions in our lives so that we find more joy, peace and fulfillment, well, I think it’s...

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Episode 131 Interview Katie Lee- It’s Inspirational Music Time I’ve been looking for some really good music for the podcast. Well, I found a singer/songwriter that I’m going to share with you today. Get ready for some inspirational music – full songs!

Katie Lee is a Special Ed. Preschool Teacher and Singer/Songwriter. She is originally from Arizona but has been in Utah for 10 years. She enjoys performing in whatever capacity she can. She often plays local acoustic shows, weddings, retreats and just held her first religious musical fireside, but I think she ought to be much bigger. This girl is TALENTED. She is a lover of people and bringing light and joy into others lives, so she’s sharing her music with you today. She loves a good adventure and can make simple things fun.

Today she is going to share three of her original pieces of music with us. It’s a special inspirational musical treat today!

Tune in for my discussion with Katie Lee and for her wonderful music.

Songs:

“Here” – played in the into at [2:00] minutes

“God is Aware” – played at [9:00]

“Trust Grace” – played at [19:00]

God is Aware struck a note with me because so many of the stories we share on this podcast are about the spaces when we are fighting the dragons in our stories and we want to feel God has our back. We don’t want to feel alone. We want miracles. God is aware of every prayer and every bended knee – when you can’t see, don’t give into doubt.

Trust Grace is a song that helps us look into Katie’s own story of overcoming her trials with trichotillomania.

To find her music or to follow her go to:

Free download @noisetrade.com/katielee (Noise Trade)

Instagram: @ktleeitsme

Facebook: Katie Lee Music

YouTube: www.youtube.com/katieleemusic

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Believe. Believe. Believe. – A few words on living with Faith

Do we ever know our way forward, completely? I seldom do. I’m always walking one step further into the darkness hoping it’s the right direction. When we are trying new things and taking risks – living into possibility, this is the landscape.

Martha Beck said, “Every leap into light starts as a leap in the dark.” That has been my experience. Stay tuned for a few words on living with faith – in yourself, in the force that guides you, in your possibility and mission. It changes the story completely.

Stories are our lives in language. Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. I’m Lori Lee, and I’m excited for our future together of telling stories, evaluating our own stories, and lifting ourselves and others to greater places because of our control over our stories. This podcast is about empowerment and giving you, the listener, ideas to work with in making your stories work for you. Power serves you best when you know how to use it

Remember Hansel and Gretel? They didn’t know where they were headed, but they knew if they left a trail of bread crumbs they could solve their own problem. Yes, I realize that’s an interesting example since the birds end up eating their best-laid plans, but in the end, isn’t that usually how it goes? Life makes you move forward instead of letting you follow the trail back. And quite often it is in an unexpected way– walking into a dark forest, throwing out our best solutions as we move forward, like bread crumbs, and then things shift, the story gets more intense and doesn’t look like we expected. Here’s to the faith that in the end we’ll all push our personal witches into the oven and return home a hero, but let me point out a couple things – Hansel and Gretel had to walk into the woods to have their experience, even though it was traumatic, and of course they first had their desperate search for the trail that had vanished – we can relate to that when things change in our lives. In the end, they had to grasp hands and adapt or die, to put it bluntly. They had to move forward or stay stuck. They had to believe enough to drop the bread crumbs and move into the dark.

Let’s kick off this fun discussion with the most basic understanding that fear and faith are opposites.

If you believe the universe or God has your back and if you believe in yourself, the fear decreases. The more faith you have, the less fear dominates your thoughts and actions. This is important to understand because when you notice a high fear factor regarding something you’re trying to do you can stop for a moment and take stock of your faith around the given situation. You can decide where you stand and what needs to be adjusted.

I’ve noticed something about myself lately. I’ve noticed that whenever I take on something that I have not done before, that I constantly shove that thing to the bottom of my list of things to do. I’ll share some specific examples. Recently my podcast editor took a full-time position elsewhere which required me to find a new podcast editor. One of the things my old podcast editor did for me was to design the cover photos for each episode. Well, that’s not usually something podcast editors do apparently, and my new editor did not include that in his services, so I needed to figure out how to use photoshop so I could design my own cover photos. Something new I don’t know how to do. Because I wasn’t sure which was the best program (could I use a cheaper program) and then I didn’t know how to use the program, I kept pushing it down the list of things to do because it was a step into the dark that I didn’t know how to take. I see this pattern repeated often for me.

Example #2 – While I have 3 published books, all 3 have been published by publishers. They ask me to write the book. I write the book. Their editors edit, they design the layout, they distribute, they sell. They send me royalty checks. Well, I am working this year

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Episode 129 Interview Emma Houston: Your Fierceness-Own it! Live it! Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. Today I’m talking with Emma Houston.

I met her as I sat in the audience at a women’s empowerment weekend seminar. I loved her message, her spunk, her authentic energy and I wanted her to share with you the same things she shared with us in the audience that day.

She is a thriver, a supporter, a victor, a mentor and a cheerleader for people going through life’s challenges. She’s a spunky little black woman, an active member of the Calvary Baptist Church, and the owner and CEO of Brighter Day Productions.

Emma Houston Hails from Texas originally. In 2016 she was appointed as Diversity and Inclusion Director by mayor Ben McAdams for the Salt Lake County’s Office of Diversity Affairs, so she is obviously now in Utah.

She is the former chairwoman of the Governor’s Office of Ethnic Affairs and former secretary for the YWCA Board and UAA Board. She is a cancer survivor and serves on the Huntsman Cancer Foundation Community Advisory Committee. She is also the chair for the Martin Luther King Commission. She is passionate about sharing her skills and connections and working with communities. She has survived the storms of life with style and grace and seeks to cheer on those in the battle.

Tune into the audio program for my interview with Emma.

For more information on Emma:

http://www.facebook.com/emma.e.houston (www.facebook.com/emma.e.houston)

http://www.linkedin.com/pub/emma-e-houston/16/55b/723 (http://www.linkedin.com/pub/emma-e-houston/16/55b/723 )

I’ve been wondering, what you, the listeners, think about the line-up of interviews I’ve been hosting. Sometimes it feels like I interview people who have had a lot of struggle, and while the interviews are all about illustrating through our stories how to get past our struggles, I don’t want there to be a feeling of “Oh My Gosh, what depressing story are we going to get today?” I want to tell stories that create hope and faith. I think I do.

The people on the podcast are the ones thriving despite their challenges. They are icons of getting in the arena and standing back up. My interview with Emma was all about her great attitude, spirit, and sense of humor – all important in living out those life stories – tough and otherwise. But, I’d love your feedback. I’d love to know which episodes you’re really connecting with and which ones you like or don’t like. You can reach me at lorijlee@msn.com, or leave comments below each episode on the website http://www.loveyourstorypodcast.com (www.loveyourstorypodcast.com), or hop on our FB page – Love Your Story podcast. Love to get your feedback. Thanks for tuning in. I couldn’t do this without the audience and I hope with all my heart that you are finding value. I know I am. These people are amazing!

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Episode 128: Let’s Talk about Stress Baby Hans Selye said, “It is not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” You, yes you, the one listening to the podcast – do you have stress in your life? Do you think of that stress as being good or bad?

In today’s episode we’re going to talk about the S word! Yup – Stress. Who can’t use a few empowering tips and stories about this constant state of the 21st century? Stay tuned for insights from a lot of great minds on this topic.

What if stress isn’t what you’ve always thought it was? I’m going to start today’s discussion with some scientific research and then we’re going to hear from folks like the Dalai Lama and Marcus Aurelius, and when we’re done, you just might see things a little differently.

So, starting with a TED talk by Kelly McGonigal, a health psychologist, where she makes her confession – that the idea she’s been teaching about stress and seeing it as the enemy has been all wrong. Listen to this research study she did and then let’s talk about this new way of seeing things:

https://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend#t-43174 (https://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend#t-43174) ([1:16] – [6:30])

So…if we view our body’s response to stress and fabulous programming that’s helping you rise to the challenge, how does it change your aversion to stress?

Dalai Lama said, “We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we obtain peace within ourselves.”

What if part of that peace is a shift of a story. The shift of the story that stress is bad, that life is overwhelming, that I can’t possibly handle this intensity of living, to the story that your body’s response to stress is healthy, helpful, and manageable? Well first off, if you change the story and you tell yourself this new truth, your body believes you and your responses internally change. That inner peace with a clearer understanding becomes a stepping stone for a more peaceful outer world. We can create a new understanding and story about the physical effects of stress.

Now, another great thinker, Marcus Aurelius shares wisdom about the psychological power we have regarding what we allow to cause us stress. He said, “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”

Let me repeat that: “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”

Gosh that does two things – First, it means you and I have to take responsibility for our mental state, but second, that means we suddenly have control. Yay!

Let me state the obvious in a few examples – if you have a set of internal stories about how thin and lifeless your hair is, well, regardless of if that’s true, that in and of itself does not cause pain, it’s the fact that you find it unacceptable that causes you the pain. If you have a belief that reading a book is painful – it’s not that reading a book is actually painful, it’s that you chose to see it as painful. If you have issues around money and your car breaks down and you have to pull out the credit card for a new fuel line – this experience is only painful if your mindset creates pain around it.

I hear over and over – “well, we can’t help what we feel,” and I understand that idea very well. When I deeply feel irritated or disappointed and it’s a natural...

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Episode 127 Interview Laurann Turner: Every Single Day Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast where we share stories so we can learn and growth with each other, and where we talk about story tools – life hacks—for living your best life story on purpose.

Today I’m talking with Laurann Turner, author of Every Single Day.

Laurann was raised on a small farm in Northern Utah. She has an MBA and worked in the Healthcare Industry for 12 years in various positions including her latest job as Vice President of Operations. While working and building her exterior successes, she realized on the inside she wasn’t happy. – I think we’ve all been at a place where we can relate to that — Having a desire to have inner peace & happiness she walked away from her esteemed career and six-figure income and then decided to start listening to her higher power and embark on a 16-month journey to reconnect with inner self and to become who she is truly meant to be.

She sold her beloved house in order to disconnect with old ties and in her book Every Single Day she describes the steps, processes and experienced she used to find happiness Every Single Day. Many claim she is a beacon of joy & inspiration – I second that. Laurann is a courageous individual and an avid navigator of life’s trials. She loves encouraging, mentoring and supporting those who want to work on becoming their best, most authentic selves. She works as a professional Realtor, Master Cookie Decorator, Author, and Occasional Clothing Model, but today she’s going to share her story and shine a light on the path of transformation.

Tune in to the audio program for my discussion with Laurann.

Every Single Day we create the next page in our story. Every single day we choose how to live and what thoughts to let dominate our minds. Every Single Day we create or destroy, we hide or we throw the doors open and live boldly. Every Single Day we have choice. What does your day look and feel like? What changes might you need to make to enjoy the journey Every Single Day?

Thanks for tuning in to today’s story. Don’t forget you can go to the website, http://www.loveyourstorypodcast.com (www.loveyourstorypodcast.com) to get access to all the past episodes, to buy t-shirts, to sign up for the 21 LIFE Connection Challenges or to start the 5 Steps to Reframing a Past Story course. I hope you’ll use the tools and share the podcast with people you think would find value in it. See you next week.

For more information on Laurann Turner or to find her book:

everysingledaycorporation.com

Intagram: @laurannturner

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Episode 126 The Dating Challenge: 35 Dates for Her 35th Birthday – Interview with Katie Houston Katie Houston is a thirty-something high school choir teacher who is passionate about education, writing, musicals, and human interaction. She studied music education at BYU and the University of Utah and dreams of someday writing a book. Her hobbies include singing with the Tabernacle Choir on Temple Square, crafting homemade cards, trying to look like she knows what she’s doing at Orange Theory Fitness, and watching crime TV.

In todays interview we follow Katie’s challenge to date 35 men in 3 months. This is how it got started:

She woke up early in the morning a couple days before her 35th birthday and spontaneously set a crazy goal: She was going on 35 dates in 3 months using social media to help connect her with new people. She launched her experiment by asking friends and family on Facebook and Instagram to set her up and she stayed active on dating apps. She also appeared on a Facebook live show called, “Friday Night Love” and discussed her experiment.

Her goal was about the journey and not the end result. She didn’t expect to fall in love, but welcomed it if it happened. She kept a journal of each date on her blog, “A Teacher’s Diary.” She called it 35 Chances, because she viewed each date as a new chance to learn something about dating. She chose to focus her writing on positive lessons learned rather than a dating critique. She learned a lot about herself, both good and bad, and met some very cool people.

Did she fall in love? You’ll have to listen to find out!

Tune into the audio program as we follow her challenge.

To follow Katie or to get in touch with her: Website: http://www.mshouston.blogspot.com/ (www.mshouston.blogspot.com) Instagram: @ktkarrots

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Episode 125 Interview David Hutchens: Using Story to Create Connection Welcome back to the Love Your Story podcast. A few years ago I was volunteering at the Parliament of Religions – a space where every religious affiliation you can think of, from across the world-monks, Wickens, Christians, tribal leaders, etc. came together for a conference of understanding one another better and working together.

So… I’m walking through the meditation labyrinths, the info. tables, and the food booths and I find this unmanned table with a stack of books and the word MUSE on it. I stop. I’m always looking for my muse. On the table sat a sign that read “$20” and a stack of books sat next to it. I picked up the book and flipped through it. It was well illustrated – gotta love an easy read– and the concepts were exactly what I wanted to know more about as I personally studied story and worked with my clients on finding and crafting their stories. So I dropped $20 bucks, took a book and tucked it in my bag. I used the Circle of the 9 Muses for the development of my Story Launchpad workshop and got a much broader view of helping organizations extract their stories. So, I knew David and worked with his stuff way before I made contact with him as a person. Needless to say, I’m super stoked to hop on this conversation with him because business leaders out there – this is the real stuff.

David is the author of Circle of the 9 Muses: A Storytelling Field Guide for Innovators and Meaning Makers, and is creator of the Learning Fables — a book series that uses narrative and metaphor to illustrate principles of organizational learning.

With titles that include “Outlearning the Wolves” and “Shadows of the Neanderthal,” the popular business fables have sold more than a quarter-million copies in over a dozen languages.section of narrative, leadership, and complex systems change for more than 20 years.

Besides being a bestselling author, business writer and learning designer, he created solutions for The Coca-Cola Company, PayPal, Wal-Mart, Accenture, IBM, L’Oreal, The US Olympic Committee, and others. He travels the world and shares his knowledge of story and how to use it with big business. So stay tuned for the good stuff!

To hear our conversation on using story to create connection in all parts of life – business, personal, and even in a college entrance interview, tune into the audio program.

To follow or get in touch with David:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DavidHutchens9Muse/ (https://www.facebook.com/DavidHutchens9Muse/) Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/davidbhutchens/ (https://www.instagram.com/davidbhutchens/) LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/davidhutchens/ (https://www.linkedin.com/in/davidhutchens/) Twitter: https://twitter.com/davidbhutchens (https://twitter.com/davidbhutchens)

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Episode 124 Hope – A Light in the Dark

Desmond Tutu said, “Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.”

You don’t get out of bed in the morning without hope. We have hope in many things. Hope in God, hope in family, hope our efforts will bear fruit, hope we’ll find that perfect someone, hope we’ll overcome a sickness, hope that life holds beauty, hope the toilet won’t back up, hope our kids will live well, hope we get the job, hope we get pregnant, hope we don’t get pregnant, hope we’ll lose 10 lbs.…hope is the reason we keep on keepin on. But what happens when you hit those patches, the dissolving of a relationship, the terminal diagnosis, the loss of a job, severe bullying, despair and overwhelming self-criticism for another failure, and hope gets up and walks out of the room?

A few years ago a friend separated from her husband. She moved to a new town, she started doing emotional work and building a new community around her, but her hope ebbed and flowed. “What can I do for you?” I asked. “I just need hope” she said, “and sometimes that’s hard to come by.” So this episode is for her, and for all the people who have moments where that light of hope isn’t visible in the storm you are currently in – that would be all of us.

One of the spaces and stories that creates hopelessness is that space of feeling as if we have failed, are failing, or are destined to keep screwing things up. This heavy space is like a drain that sucks the light right out of our souls. So let me share an idea that I heard in church the other day:

When a parent pays for a child to take piano lessons so that they can learn a new skill, develop a talent, understand music, they do not expect the child will sit down and instantly be a concert pianist. They hope the child will sit and practice day after day before even a beginner song can be played. They don’t want the child to pay them back for the lessons, they want the child to take the opportunity given to them to learn something new. They hope the child will respond to the gift and keep practicing year after year until the skill is acquired.

So it is with our Heavenly Father/Mother, with God. We have been given opportunities in our lives to learn many, many things. We often learn these things through trial and error. God doesn’t expect us to be an expert at them out of the gate. We will practice love. We will practice disciplining our minds and bodies, we will practice patience. We will practice overcoming judgment. We will practice sharing and playing nice. We will practice loving ourselves. We will practice healthy boundaries. We will practice living big. We will practice communicating well. Every day we will have opportunities to practice, with every interaction and experience before us. We always get to keep trying. And, we are all practicing different songs.

It’s important to remember that there is never a fall or a fail, a wrong note, where we should stay down. It’s common that when we feel we have failed at something – a marriage, self-control, an expectation, something new we tried, that dark mists of shame and hopelessness, discouragement and futility can easily start to build and swirl at our feet – this is the common human experience. My belief is that it is the adversary looking for every crack in our armor, in an attempt to drain us of hope and increase the darkness we live in. Whether or not you believe in an adversary – a force of darkness that competes with the light, it is the human experience to feel both darkness and light and to choose which they will gravitate toward. For me the hope comes from not staying in a place of self beat-up, but instead asking myself what I learned from the situation and then being kind to myself and moving forward with the new knowledge I gained to try again – to keep moving toward light. We are never unworthy or unwanted. We are simply practicing. Hopelessness would have you throw the...

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Episode 123 Interview Jeff Soelberg: Losing a Hand – Giving a Hand Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast where I get to interview people with STORIES! Getting down to the nitty-gritty of real life. What we really experience, what we struggle with, how we overcome, and the journey of the hero along that path – falling down and getting up.

Today I bring Jeff Soelberg to the table. He’s just your average middle age guy whose life changed for the better on July 6, 2016, when he lost 3 of his fingers in a work accident and severely damaged his wrist. Over 8 months and 6 surgeries, hundreds of stitches and 1000s of hours of PT, he returned to work a different man. Jeff, instead of staying in the dark space created by the loss of the use of his hand decided to look for the news doors this could open for him. He now has a mechanical addition to his hand and he’s embraced the CrossFit competitions where he’s excelled and met inspiring individuals. Stay tuned to hear about his story.

The night of Jeff’s accident his surgeon told him that he wouldn’t be able to lift weights again. He didn’t accept that and today he takes pride in proving his surgeon wrong. He’s a 55 year old who is competing against 20 and 30-year-olds in adaptive CrossFit competitions. He’s a big proponent of sharing the idea that we can overcome any challenge, climb any mountain we set our minds to and that we can do it no matter our age or ability.

Tune into the audio program for my interview with Jeff. Since the interview Jeff has continued to create new and exciting things:

In September he set the Indoor Rowing World Record for the 1/2 marathon 21097 meters in the Physically Disabled over 50 division. 1 hour 34 min 28 sec.

He participated in the first ever Para Spartan Elite Race in Laughlin, Nevada.

He has been peaking to groups about overcoming challenges.

He started to do testing with his prosthetic manufacturer. Test the limits and abilities of my hands.

To follow his new foundation that is in the works: Website: http://www.jeffgivingahand.org/ (www.jeffgivingahand.org)

Michelle Obama said, “You should never view your challenges as a disadvantage. Instead, it’s important for you to understand that your experience facing and overcoming adversity is actually one of your biggest advantages.”

I believe Jeff exemplifies this. He’s a great example of taking a challenging situation and finding the silver-lining; making the best of it; taking it a step further to try and encourage others.

Your challenge for this week is to think about what your largest challenge is right now at this moment in time. Can you find 5 things to be grateful for regarding this challenge? What are you learning from it? What people has it brought into your life? What opportunities has it created? Give it a little thought and you’ll find that there is always a silver lining and finding it not only broadens your perspective, it’s also the key that starts to change the energy and anxiety that surrounds the challenge.

Have a great week out there creating your best life stories. Share this episode with someone you feel it might inspire and we’ll see you next week on the Love Your Story podcast.

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Episode 122 Interview with Madeleine Black Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. On the podcast I have shared stories of everything from eating disorders, infertility, losing a child, suicide, death of a spouse….lots of hard things that people have experienced, overcome and learned and grown from. Today’s story is dark. This is the first story shared on the podcast about rape. Violently gang-raped when she was thirteen years old, and raped three more times before the age of eighteen, Madeleine has experienced more trauma in her life than most ever will. Living in a state of shock and self-loathing, it took her years of struggle to confront the buried memories of that first attack and begin to undo the damage it wrought, as men continued to take advantage of her fragility in the worst possible way.

Yet, after growing up with a burden no teenager should ever have to shoulder, she found the heart to carry out the best revenge plan of all; leading a fulfilling and happy life. For Madeleine, forgiveness was the key. True forgiveness takes genuine effort. It takes a real desire to understand those who have done us so much harm. It is the ultimate act of courage.

Today she tells the story of finding her voice and her heart and an acceptance of herself. Stay tuned for her story, and know that we tell these stories on the podcast, not to focus on the hard spaces, but to celebrate the people who learn, grow and thrive despite the dark and terrible roads we walk.

Madeline Black wrote a book called Unbroken.

In Unbroken, Madeleine tells her deeply moving and empowering story, as she discovers that life is about how a person chooses to recover from adversity. We are not defined by what knocks us down – we are defined by how we get back up.

She says,

‘If anyone had told me a few years ago that one day I would be giving radio and TV interviews, speaking publicly or writing a book; I would never have believed them. But after sharing my story publicly for the first time in September 2014 I realized that my voice and words are now my strength and I will continue to speak out against sexual violence for all those who can’t find their voice yet…’

Tune in for the audio program and her Madeleine tell her own story.

For more information on Madeleine:

Website: http://www.madeleineblack.co.uk/ (www.madeleineblack.co.uk) Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/madblack65 (www.twitter.com/madblack65) Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/MadeleineBlackUnbroken (www.facebook.com/MadeleineBlackUnbroken) Book link: https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/reviews/B06XNLZ8RV/ref=cm_cr_arp_mb_viewopt_srt?ie=UTF8&sortBy=recent&pageNumber=1 (https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/reviews/B06XNLZ8RV/ref=cm_cr_arp_mb_viewopt_srt?ie=UTF8&sortBy=recent&pageNumber=1)

The things that happen to us do not define who we are. It is what we do with the things that happen to us that creates our strength and learning. Madeliene’s shared ideas of love winning over hate, and sharing her authentic path of events that happened, but also her natural response to those events, and then her learning to overcome those horrible spaces through accepting love. Love – the key to opening many doors, is a powerful story. So many of us have our own hard stories. We all look for others who have had similar experiences so that we can find our way to navigate the hard places. That’s why we share stories.

Your challenge this week is to share the love – share this episode or one of the other inspiring Love Your Story podcast episodes with someone in your life who could stand to use a story that show the human spirit in overcoming and leaning into love.

www.loveyourstorypodcast.com

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Episode 121: James Lawrence – The Iron Cowboy Welcome back to the Love Your Story podcast. I have a question for you. What is YOUR impossible? What boundaries have you set on yourself for how far you can go? It’s commonly acknowledged that we set our own limits on ourselves, and this idea of redefining impossible got really serious with today’s guest James Lawrence, aka the Iron Cowboy.

James got the nickname after he started wearing a cowboy hat during the marathon portion of his Ironman races so he could easily be identified by his five children. Originally from Calgary Canada, he now lives in Utah with his wife Sunny their kids. With two Guinness world records under his belt, James and his family attempted to take his endurance even further and do something every person deemed impossible. Complete 50 Ironmans in 50 consecutive days in all 50 states. Did he do it? Stay tuned to find out. And, let’s talk about redefining impossible.

When James announced his plan to complete 50 Ironmans in 50 consecutive days in all 50 states everyone thought he was crazy. An Ironman consists of a 2.4-mile swim, a 112-mile bike ride, and a 26.2-mile run – a marathon. In Lawrence’s case, he would have to complete those distances and then make it to the next state in time to do it all over again the next day. Even Lawrence’s coach didn’t think he could do it.

When I met James Lawrence he was standing in a REAL soccer box raising funds and selling his book: Iron Cowboy. I got a copy that night and started reading it the following week. All I can say is holy shit. That was one painful, crazy-ass, unbelievable journey. His book is the story of his herculean 50-day journey and all the wonderful, miserable, and life-threatening events that happened along the way, as well as a glance at his life leading up to the mission, and winning two prior world records. Lawrence holds two world records in the Guinness Book of World Records: one for completing 22 half-Ironmans in one year (2010) and one for completing 30 full Ironmans in one year (2012). In 2015, he started out on this crazy quest to set a record for completing 50 Ironman distances in 50 states in 50 days.

Along the way, Lawrence survived tropical storms, internal bleeding, hypothermia, hyperthermia, dehydration, nerve damage, infected foot blisters, a blood-clot scare, extreme sleep deprivation (he only got four to five hours of sleep each night), and a bike crash!

Tune into the audio program for my interview with the Iron Cowboy and hear his stories and thoughts, including:

“No matter how extreme my suffering became, it was only suffering.”

“We’re not entirely on our own, because we can draw inspiration to achieve our own impossible, by seeing others conquer theirs.”

“The good you do is not always the good you expected to do.”

“The one thing I could control was my attitude, so I decided the predicament was a test rather than a setback. Unable to change my situation, I changed its meaning instead.” Can you tell us about this particular situation and your thoughts on it?

After this feat, Sports Illustrated ranked James in the top 50 fittest freaks with the likes of Lebron James and Connor McGregor, 2 of James favorite athletes. RedBull declares that ‘when it comes to endurance, he is unstoppable’ and Success magazine named him ‘The Most Enduring Man In The World’. He has literally Redefine the definition of impossible.

To learn more about James, buy his book, or follow him:

James Lawrence

james@ironcowboy.com

Twitter: @ironcowboyjames Instagram: @ironcowboyjames Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/IronCowboy/ (www.facebook.com/IronCowboy/)

Your challenge this week is to start to look at the boundaries you have placed on yourself? How can you blow past those? How can you fight the pain, or fear or stories that sit between you and what you’ve thought was possible for you? If James Lawrence can push through the...

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Episode 120 Finding Joy – Those 5-Star Moments Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. Today’s episode is about JOY! Men and women are that they might have joy and there is a simple way to find it. It’s all about paying attention to the in-between moments in our stories because that’s where the magic happens. Stay tuned for this quick reminder about being present to the moments that bring you joy and let’s get 2019 started off on the best possible foot – not so much about change, instead let’s just talk about finding the joy in our lives and living into it with gusto and new eyes.

A life story holds those big moments. The ah-ha moments. The defining moments – the child is born, the lesson is learned, the new job is landed, the trip that started the domino effect is embarked upon.

These are beautiful moments caught in the nets of memory, but the real magic isn’t there. The real magic is so much quieter. So quiet in fact, if you don’t open your eyes and heart you miss the magic all together – and that would be a shame, because this is the magic that makes joy the landscape.

Let me explain.

My favorite morning moment is sitting with a war mug of vanilla chai tea. Delicious, comforting and slow. It’s magic every morning.

I love blue sky days with trees full of green leaves. As I walk my dog Rocky, around the block I revel in the color; joy and gratitude are like a deep sigh because instead of being caught up in what I have to do, or the latest stress, I stop and look and listen and say prayers of gratitude. I notice the sparkle of the sun off a puddle or the sound of kids playing and laughing, or the fresh air in my lungs. The little things we miss a million times a day because we don’t tune in.

Laughing with my friends – really laughing, that’s a 5-star moment. Skiing a great line, a really good kiss, a freshly mowed lawn or vacuumed floor, real smiles on my son’s faces, quick and witty banter with my siblings.

Life’s defining moments, the joyful spaces, require a simple awareness, or they pass in the fog of the day and your real spaces of joy with it, while we wait for that something big, that huge accomplishment, that next big win, that unforgettable event.

My friend Tonya says her list of small magic includes hugs from her nephew Henry, kisses from her nieces, being photo bombed by her sister, smiling at strangers, making someone laugh, really good friends, reading and having a revelation.

What are your 5-Star moments? And when they happen I want you to stop and take a breath, and just sit in the joy while you whisper out a gratitude.

My life blooms in richness when I am aware of these moments. Every normal day feels rich and magic, supported and blessed. Yours can too. Right now.

One of the reasons we get away from these details is that our 21st Century minds have learned to skim everything. We live in information overload, so instead of soaking in the rich details of our lives, we skim the massive amounts of information and happenings around us to sort where we will put our focus. The down side of this type of management is that the details, the magic spaces, the little things become invisible.

Research from Ohio State University points out that Although adults can beat children at most cognitive tasks, new research shows that children’s limitations can sometimes be their strength. In two studies, researchers found that adults were very good at remembering information they were told to focus on, and ignoring the rest. In contrast, 4- to 5-year-olds tended to pay attention to all the information that was presented to them – even when they were told to focus on one particular item. Proof that being childlike is a more joyful state.

In an article in the HuffPost, Elaine Vilorio wrote in her article, The Art of Noticing, “As a whole, we take everything for granted. If encountered frequently enough, people and tasks seem to become mundane and uninteresting. The walk to and from...

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Episode 119 Best of 2018 It’s the last episode of 2018 and I want to thank all of you who are listening and all of those who have shared their brave and vulnerable stories on the show this year. It’s been a phenomenal year filled with crazy good episodes if I do say so myself. I started this episode out wanting to do the BEST OF 2018, but realized as I surveyed the shows that if I did that it would be a VERY long episode, so my editor and I, pulled numbers at random to do a year-end review. Today’s episode does a quick reminder blurb from 10 of the top episodes of the past year. Listen in for some quick refreshers.

We talk about 3 angles regarding story on this podcast – the first is the past. When we have stories that are holding us back we need to do the work to reframe them so we can move forward in our full power. The second is the present. Becoming aware of the stories we are telling ourselves today, especially about ourselves, creates or diminishes our power to live well and be who we came to be. And third, is the future. Every day we plant the seeds for our tomorrow – for the next chapter in our story and so the things we do today matter to our future story. This is the focus of our first flashback for 2018 – Doing acts of kindness in the world to create a better story. One of the episodes we did this year – episode 89 was a live discussion with the group who had gathered to do random acts of kindness. In this blurb Rebecca Dahl Cookston and I are discussing her experience and the effects – uncomfortable and satisfying, of the RAK.

Listen to the audio program to hear the conversation.

In episode 72 I open a discussion about a story archetype. Story archetypes are the repetitive characters we see in our stories because they mark crucial points within a story – these are found in fairy tales, but also in our real-life stories. In this episode, I’m talking about the Threshold Guardian or the thing or person that stands as a block to you getting something you want. It’s important to understand this concept so that when your threshold guardians show up in real life you can see them for what they are.

Listen to the audio program to hear the chosen segment.

One of our most popular series this year was Episode 73-75 The Search for Annie Schmidt. Annie Schmidt, the daughter of John Schmidt the pianist from the popular group, the Piano Guys, went missing in 2016. The subsequent search for her and the discovery of her body was filled with miracles and cooperation.

Listen to the audio program to hear a section from the trilogy where Annie’s mother talks about the miracle of hearing her daughter from the grave.

Jennifer Anderson was meditating and talking with God at 3 a.m. one morning and she was inspired to create a journal. This journal entitled 3 a.m. with God changed her career path and her focus as she focuses on helping people listen, hear and act on inspiration.

Listen to the audio program for a short segment of my chat with Jennifer.

In episode 93 I talk about another story archetype – the Herald. These are real. There are moments when we are called into the adventures of our lives. Do we say no or do we say yes?

Listen to the audio program for that segment.

Mark Shurtleff, a past attorney general of Utah, shared a vulnerable personal interview with me about the toll the difficult events of the past few years took on him. His public face got personal in this interview – episode 96.

Listen to the audio program for the piece of our interview.

You want someone to understand you better? Share a story that illustrates why you feel as you do. This is a key story tool. Tune into episode 70 for a whole discussion on sharing stories to create understanding.

Tune into the audio program for a quick pointer about how to help others understand you better.

In episode 116 you get a special treat – the book – Key to your Super Self and how your Stories unlock your power in audio...

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Episode 118 Mitchell’s Story – A Father’s Story of Losing his Child to Muscular Dystrophy Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. As we gather around the technology campfire and tell our stories, one of the stories we hope we never have to tell is one of losing a child. Of all the fears and tragedies, this one ranks in the top heartbreaks.

Today, my interview with Chris Jones is a discussion about his son Mitchell, who passed away from heart failure in 2013, and the Facebook page titled Mitchell’s Journey that has gained international attention as a place for healing and gaining an understanding of the process of grieving.

Chris Jones lives in Salt Lake City, Utah with his wife, Natalie and 3 living children. Their son, Mitchell Jones had Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, a catastrophic muscle wasting disease that is fatal.

Mitchell’s Journey has become a hope for many and his father speaks and shares insights on finding purpose, meaning and joy despite the difficulties we face. He talks about how gratitude is a great healer and how broken things mend. Eventually.

Stay tuned for Mitchell’s story, Chris’s story, and some raw discussion on facing one of the hardest storylines possible.

Vicky Harrison said, “Grief is like the ocean. It comes in waves, ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.”

Tune in to the audio program for Chris’s retelling of his experience with his son’s illness and passing.

For more information about Chris and Mitchell:

https://www.facebook.com/mitchellsjourney/

www.mitchellsjourney.org

www.instagram.com/mitchells_journey

mitchellsjourney

babiesmadeofsan

Mother Teresa said, “It’s not about how much we give, it’s how much love we put into giving.”

Call to action: Spend time with the people you love. Really spend that looking-in-the-eye/belly laughing time with them. Don’t waste a moment, you don’t know how many you have.

And, if you like the podcast, I’d appreciate you showing your appreciation for the show by leaving a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, remember the website – loveyourstorypodcast.com is always available with all the episodes, show notes, and tools like the 21 Challenges for creating your best life story on purpose. See you next week.

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Episode 117 Interview Donna Marino – My Dad Died on 9-11 in the Twin Towers On September 11, 2001, nineteen men hijacked four fuel-loaded US commercial airplanes bound for west coast destinations. A total of 2,977 people were killed in New York City, Washington, DC and outside of Shanksville, Pennsylvania.

The attack was orchestrated by alQaeda leader Osama bin Laden. At the World Trade Center site in Lower Manhattan, 2,753 people were killed when hijacked American Airlines Flight 11 and United Airlines Flight 175 were intentionally crashed into the north and south towers, or as a result of the crashes.

The victims ranged in age from two to 85 years. Approximately 75-80% of the victims were men.

At the Pentagon in Washington, 184 people were killed when hijacked American Airlines Flight 77 crashed into the building.

Near Shanksville, Pennsylvania, 40 passengers and crew members aboard United Airlines Flight 93 died when the plane crashed into a field. It is believed that the hijackers crashed the plane in that location, rather than their unknown target, after the passengers and crew attempted to retake control of the flight deck.

We all know of the tragedy of 9-11, you probably remember where you were at when you heard the news. Today I interview Donna Marino, a woman whose father, an electrician in the twin-towers, passed away on that fateful and terrible day. She takes us inside her story of events and shares how she worked through victimhood into a space her dad would be proud of – a space of releasing, renewing, and helping others through her work as a licensed clinical psychologist to do the same.

Dr. Donna Marino is a licensed clinical psychologist, certified yoga teacher, Reiki practitioner and positive psychology coach who has been working in mental health for over 20 years. Dr. Marino is a mom of two tween girls and is married to the love of her life, the second time around. She is also the surviving daughter of her father who was lost in the terror attacks on the twin towers on 9-11. Here’s her story.

Tune in to the audio program for Donna’s story and experience in her own words.

For more information on Dr. Donna Marino:

www.inner-guidance.com

https://www.facebook.com/drdonnamarino, https://www.linkedin.com/in/drdonnamarino/, https://twitter.com/GuidanceInner, https://www.pinterest.com/drdonnamarino/, https://www.pinterest.com/innerguidance0137/

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Episode 116 The Key to Your Super Self – How your Stories unlock your Power

The Key to Your Super Self was originally an audio/e-book to help people become aware of the stories they tell themselves and how those stories either unlock their superpowers of self-love, faith and belief in our own possibility, or how those stories are key in causing us to live small lives.

We bring it to you on today’s podcast – the full audio version, as a Christmas treat for your mind-set empowerment.

If you prefer the e-book, send me an email at lorijlee@msn.com. I’ll email you the link.

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Episode 115 Interview Sara Dean: A Story of the Struggle of Infertility Have you or someone you know struggled with infertility? Sara Dean – the creator and host of the popular podcast the Shameless Mom Academy, tells us her story of infertility, going through the emotional process of combating infertility, and the life changes that came as she successfully got pregnant with her son Vinny. “I’m getting an F in making babies,” she bemoaned as she and her husband traveled this road of eager desperation. Tune in for the story of her journey, and our discussion on how we acquire life tools that help us stay healthy through these moments that bring you to your knees.

Sara Dean is the creator and host of the Shameless Mom Academy Podcast, a top-rated podcast rapidly approaching 1 million downloads. Sara’s biggest passion is helping women own their space. After enduring her own identity crises following the birth of her son, Sara took her background in psychology/health/ wellness and rebuilt her identity, one step at a time. Sara motivates and inspires women to stop shrinking and start growing. She is on a mission to inspire women and moms, in particular, to live bigger, bolder, braver #everydamnday. Let’s get into our interview and her rollercoaster story of pushing through those spaces a hero pushes through to get the rewards they seek.

Tune into the audio program for Sara Dean’s story.

Find Sara: https://shamelessmom.com/

We all have such different life stories, but they are tailor-made for each of us. The stories lines are diverse, but the similarities lie in the concept of challenge, overcoming, facing fear, rising when we are brought to our knees, or not. Loved the idea of reframing the story when it doesn’t turn out as we expect, and taking the power back for finding joy in our circumstances. As we each go through our lives we find the tricks and tricks – if we seek them – for living through the tough spaces and creating mindsets and self-care that buoy us up during the times we go to war with our challenges. If you don’t have your toolbox with the tried and true, go to http://www.loveyourstorypodcast.com (www.loveyourstorypodcast.com) and under tools, choose the 21 Challenges and sign up for that system of trying out 21 LIFE Connection tools that you can personalize for your own support and live creation. Live big people and I’ll see you next week as we tell the next story!

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Episode 114 Tomorrow Begins Today: Law of the Harvest Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. One of my favorite sayings is “Tomorrow Begins Today.” I have the saying, torn from a magazine, stuck with one lone magnet to the front of my fridge. I look at it every day because it reminds me that what I am doing right now, in this moment, isn’t just about today, it’s about the law of the harvest. It’s about creating what I want in my life tomorrow, going forward. It’s about planting the seeds for the fruits I want to come forth. It’s about karma. It’s about active creation from a big picture perspective. It’s about planting and nurturing seeds in work, in relationships, in self-development, in learning. Tomorrow begins today and that means today is a powerful space to occupy.

If you could harvest anything you wanted in your life, what would it be? It’s November, it’s harvest time. Thanksgiving is giving thanks for what we’ve harvested over the summer. Let’s think about this for a minute.

When I was a child we lived in a small Idaho community and each summer my parents planted beans, potatoes, tomatoes, chard, onions, you name it. We had a garden plot that ran down one whole side of our property and at the top of our alfalfa fields, we had another big garden- rows and rows of raspberry bushes. During the summer my dad would irrigate the garden, and my brothers and sister and I would splash in the water in our swimming suits as it flooded the lawn, but during the week, we’d pull weeds, every day. Before we could play we had to pull weeds, and at harvest time we carried our little buckets and made our way through the rows of the reaching, pickery, raspberry plants, plucking off plump maroon berries, and piling them in our buckets. My mom made jam and canned peaches and beans. She froze corn and berries. It was a busy time and I’ll be honest, I hated it. I hated weeding, I hated picking beans and raspberries, I just wanted to be out biking and roller skating down the street in front of our house. But what my parents knew and cared about, that I didn’t at the time, was that all that fresh fruit, all those delicious vegetables, had to be planted, then nurtured and watered, and then, of course, harvested so we could eat healthy, fresh, and self-sufficient. It was the law of the harvest at work. The tomorrow of healthy eating would start in the spring with the smallest of seeds and a plot of dirt.

From small and simple things we would reap a bounty of gorgeous fruits and vegetables, overflowing with colors and goodness. All it took was the willingness to act – to plant the seed, and nurture – weed and water, and then the harvest was a hundredfold. Such is the law in our lives.

Today is a space you created with all your days that came before. The glorious and the ugly. If you’re sitting in a warm home surrounded by family and loved ones, it’s because you worked, you loved, you invested in yourself and others. If you’re loving yourself it’s because you plant thoughts and gentleness in your own heart and mind about who you are and what you do. If you have friends it’s because you are a friend.

The opposite is also true. If you live in lack, in any of these spaces, it is so because of the seeds planted within your mindset and actions, as well. If your relationships are anemic it’s because of the way you do not invest in them, and the people you allow into your life. If you struggle with an addiction it is most likely because you chose to get involved with an addictive substance. If you live in fear it is because you allow thoughts of fear rather than faith to dominate your mind. If you are in debt chances are it is due to choices you made to spend. Let’s hop on the responsibility train.

Today I’m talking about “Tomorrow Begins Today” so that TODAY we begin creating for tomorrow – for all the tomorrows that will bear the fruit of the seeds planted today. And because it’s amazing how small seeds – a tiny,...

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113 Remembering Kylee Bruce: Tips on dealing with Loss and Grief Welcome to another episode of the Love Your Story podcast, where I get to delve into people’s amazing stories to learn from their experiences and share that with you. Today I have two guests with me – this is a new approach for Love Your Story, but this story, the death of Kylee Bruce is one of surviving and thriving for those she left behind, and the two people who loved and lost in this story are Kylee’s mother Gaylene and her fiancée, Brandon Forseth. Together they will tell the story of her tragic loss and the ways they have found to survive.

Joining me today are Gaylene and Brandon from Oregon.

When Gaylene was young her father shot her mother and then committed suicide. From a young age, Gaylene had the opportunity to figure out how to process loss, but she says that one of the things that is most important about her story is the way she has learned, from others, how to do this and that it CAN be done. Her life has included the loss of her parents, a marriage through divorce and then the loss of her daughter Kylee when she was killed in an automobile accident, and her process of seeking for tools and processing pain has been an important part of her journey.

When Kylee died in a car accident in December of 2016, she was carrying Brandon, her fiancee’s child.

Brandon said, “I’m not an expert on love, I was just really good at loving Kylee. My story is one of true love, grief, and how I found a way to keep my Kylee’s legacy alive. I haven’t yet been able to “overcome” grief completely, and I doubt I ever will but I have found a way to keep waking up every morning with purpose.” So, today we’re going to talk about Kylee’s story and how to process grief. How to survive and thrive despite loss.

Tune into the audio program for my interview with Gaylene and Brandon.

You can find them on the Facebook Group: #lovehardproject

Washington Irving said, “There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.”

The pains of loss can leave us stripped of hope, of a desire to go on, and rack us with the worst pains we can experience in this life. But as we’ve discussed today, there is a way to survive. There is a tomorrow and even though you perhaps can’t see it in the dark places, others have gone before you and found the way. Follow in their footsteps, even if you are crawling. One step at a time allow for grieving and loving and celebrating those beautiful souls you have walked with.

Thanks for being with us today for Kylee’s story and for Gaylene and Brandon’s stories and journey’s through grief. Your challenge this week is to love hard on the people who are important to you. We don’t ever know when loss will knock on our door, so today, in this moment, right now, love with all your heart. No regrets.

Share this episode with someone who could use it and check out the Love Your Story podcast website for all the past episodes, classes and life story challenges

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Episode 112 Death by Prescription: The Opioid Crisis In 2009 Darlene Schultz’s 18-year-old son went to his doctor to get something for the pain for his degenerative back disease. He had just gotten a job at Home Depot and needed to control his pain so he could work. He came home with oxi-cotton. After 4 years of trying to beat the addiction, going through jail time and immense struggles, in 2013 this same young man overdosed in his parent’s bed and despite all work by paramedics he did not recover.

This mom, along with many others, has felt the shame associated with addiction, the horrible loss of a child and the travail of watching them walk the road of self-loathing and a struggle against a substance that controls their lives.

Stay tuned today for stories from moms who have lost children, for comments from Utah’s Attorney General, Sean Reyes; thoughts from John Huber, the U.S. Attorney for the District of Utah, and his take on prosecuting drug offenders, and thoughts by Brian Besser, the agent in charge of the Drug Enforcement Administration of Utah and the Metro Narcotics Task Force. I also get some interview time with Dr. Jennifer Plumb, a medical professional and tireless fighter in the opioid crisis.

In 2017 49,068 Americans died from opioid-related overdoses. 115 Americans die from opioids every day. From 2010-2016 heroin-related overdose deaths have increased by 500%. And, more than 80% of heroin users started their cycle of addiction with prescription opioids. In October of 2018 the Utah Solutions Summit took place. This was a coming together of law enforcement, doctors, parents, students, recovery groups and many others for an open conversation of stemming the tide of opioid addiction and death. These interviews and stories were collected from this summit to give you, the listener, a well-rounded look at the opioid stories and things being done in our communities – in this case, specifically the state of Utah, who has made tremendous progress because of the willingness of all these parties to work together. Have you wondered about the opioid crisis and the billboards you see along the freeway telling you to get aware? Today’s episode will give you some insight. Some of these comments are coming from panel discussions, some from interviews. You may hear some background noise, but here we go.

Tune into the audio program for stories, interviews, and discussion.

Support Groups for those dealing with addiction or supporting addicts include:

USARA – Utah Support Advocates for Recovery Awareness

180 E. 2100 S. Suite 100 Salt Lake City, UT 84115; 801.599.1667

Overdose Awareness Utah

1021 N. 540 W. American Fork, UT 84003; 801.234.9963; FB: Overdose Awareness Utah

Utah stands as an example as a state who has excellent collaboration between families, politicians, law enforcement and medical professionals who care and are banding together to take on this crisis of addiction that so often begins with prescription pills. Our death toll has decreased this year, due to these efforts, and all are hoping to keep up this trend. If you or someone you love is caught in this crisis, I will have the recommended organizations and contact information in the show notes on the website at http://www.loveyourstorypodcast.com (www.loveyourstorypodcast.com), and I thank the moms who were willing to share their stories, hearts and advice on the show today. Thanks for being here today, and if you liked the show, please leave a review on iTunes/Apple podcasts or wherever you listen. See you next week on the LYS podcast.

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Episode 111 Zombies Welcome back to the Love Your Story podcast. Today is Halloween and so it’s appropriate I bring to you a story steeped in the bizarre and spooky. Today we speak of zombies. Not in theory, but it reality. Join me for a trip to Haiti and a dive into voodoo, magic, and the bizarre reality of real life (the word is used lightly) zombies.

In February of 1974, Wade Davis, the future Harvard Scientist who would journey into the secret societies of Haitian Voodoo, zombies and magic, had his first meeting with the man who would send him on this quest to discover the plants used in creating the drugs that turned people into Zombies.

Today’s podcast includes part of Wade’s story from his book The Serpent and the Rainbow and his astonishing journey into the secret societies of Haitian voodoo, as well as an interview with Lynne McNeill, Associate Folklore professor at Utah State University, who went to Haiti with a film crew to delve into the Zombie stories, and the experiences she had there is past year. Happy Halloween, you won’t want to miss this bizarre look into the realm of zombies, possession, and first-hand experiences and discussions Lynne had with priest and priestess of the Voodoo religion.

Let’s jump right into Wade Davis’s story that starts in 1974….At this point in his life, he was just a student, anxious and restless to explore. The Amazon was his first choice and so he approached the venerable professor Richard Evans Schultes in the Department of Anthropology for his advice. As he slipped onto the 4th floor of Harvard’s Botanical Museum and the office of Professor Schultes, he was met with herbarium cases and photos of professor Schultes in exotic locales. The advice Schultes gave was sparse, so without plans and just enough money to support himself for a year, Davis headed to Colombia. Schultes turned out to be a catalyst of adventure, but Davis was on his own to find his way. This student of anthropology embarked onto what would be only his first adventure in exotic places where his life was often at risk due to jungles and rainforests, foreign and wild cultures, lack of supplies and uncharted territory as he sought to collect plants. He had advised himself before embarking on this journey to “risk discomfort and solitude for understanding.” This first expedition became but an episode in an ethnobotanical apprenticeship that took him throughout much of western South American. He earned his degree in anthropology in 1977. Following a two-year hiatus from the tropics, Davis returned to Harvard as one of Professor Schultes’s graduate students. Ethnobotany meant searching for plants with medicinal properties, and collecting the plants was only part of the exploration. Learning from the Indians and natives of the areas they explored were key to understanding how the plants were used. Schultes had spent 13 years in the Amazon because he believed that the Indian knowledge of medicinal plants could offer vital new drugs for the entire world. He identified over 1800 plants of medical potential in the northwest Amazon alone and he knew that thousands more remained. These were the plants he sent his students out to find.

Late on a Monday afternoon early in 1982 Schultes’s secretary called Davis and asked him to come into the office. “I’ve got something for you,” Schultes said. “It could be intriguing.” He handed him the New York address of Dr. Nathan Kline, psychiatrist, and pioneer in the field of psychopharmacology – the study of the actions of drugs on the mind. Kline was not a small player in the field of mental disorders and chemical imbalances rectified by drugs. His research lowered the number of patients at American psychiatric institutions from over half a million in the 50’s to 120,000 in the 80’s. He was no small player and this was not a trip to be taken lightly.

It turned out that Davis was being sent to the Caribbean. Haiti. The “Frontier of Death” was the next mystery to...

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Episode 110 The Art of Allowing – Interview with Jamie Lerner Welcome back to the Love Your Story podcast. Have you ever been in a position where you felt judged? Where you wished people would just allow you to live the life you wanted and that they’d live their life without imposing their expectations on you?

Have you ever been on the other side of that coin?

In this life we have agency and responsibility to create whatever beautiful storyline we deem best for us, but so often we feel we need to direct someone else’s direction, or we receive resistance from others who want us to move in different ways than we deem right for us.

Today we are talking about the Art of Allowing. In my interview today with Jamie Lerner, co-author of the book The Ever-Loving Essence of You, and a past well-being-therapist, we will be discussing the joys and freedom to move about the world without having judgment about what anyone else is saying or doing.

She believes that everyone is allowed to choose what is best for themselves and when we tend to what is best for our own selves and have clarity for ourselves, we care not what others have chosen for themselves. The entire point of allowing is to feel good as we flow from one loving moment to the next creating unconditional relationships along the way.

I invited Jamie Lerner on the show today because she has a couple areas of expertise that I feel are key to creating our best life story. The first is that I want her to share her thoughts and insights on the Art of Allowing.

The second, and reason she originally caught my attention is that as she works with her clients one of her favorite questions to ask is “Is your storyline working well for you?” she believes that the story we are incessantly telling is directly reflected in the life that we are living and if you change your story you will change your life. You know this is a space we live in here on the Love Your Story podcast, so I’m excited to hear her thoughts today.

For our interview tune into the audio podcast.

For more information on Jamie:

http://www.jamie-lerner.com/

Instagram: Jamie_lerner

twitter.com/eleoy

Her book: The Ever Loving Essence of You

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Episode 109 An Inside Look at Suicide: Interview Megan Borquin

Welcome to the Love Your Story Podcast. Today we get real with Megan Bourquin, a 21-year-old woman who attempted suicide, and her open, authentic discussion about why, mindset, her life experiences and some thoughts on how we can help stem the tide of suicide in America.

Megan was born and raised in Michigan. Her upbringing was far from typical. She grew up with a father in prison and a family with enough trauma to last a lifetime. She battled with anxiety, depression, and PTSD. When she was 16 she started self-harming, self-medicating, and actively trying to take her own life. After a few failed suicide attempts she landed in extensive and long-term treatment facilities that ultimately saved her life.

Tune into the audio program for our discussion.

To follow Megan –

Instagram: lovemeganbourquin

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108 Interview Jodi Orgill Brown: The Sun Still Shines – Surviving a brain tumor

Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. Today’s story is about a woman’s heartbreaking beautiful journey. At first blush, it’s hard to see how someone could reframe a non-operable brain tumor wrapped around the brain stem, the paralysis of the right side of her face, and on-going headaches, pain, and pressure as holding any beauty, but today we’ll find out how Jodi Orgill Brown does just that. Stay tuned for our discussion.

Jodi Orgill Brown is a certified nonprofit consultant, as well as a professional speaker, a best-selling author, and a brain tumor survivor. Jodi’s professional clients and partners include: The U.S. Department of Defense, The Christopher Reeve Foundation, Intermountain Health Care, The Weber State Goddard School of Business, The National Center on Shaken Baby Syndrome, America First Credit Union, United Way (Salt Lake and Northern Utah chapters), the Doris Duke Charitable Foundation, the NOVA Principles Foundation, and One Refugee.

Her memoir, The Sun Still Shines, won the 2016 Gold Quill and is an Amazon Bestseller. Her second book, Rise Above Depression, was released in November 2017 and hit the #1 spot on Amazon in February 2018.

Jodi has lived in the Middle East, and on both U.S. coasts, but believes home is where you make it. She is the wife of Tolan Brown and they are parents to four amazing children.

To hear the interview with Jodi, tune into the audio recording.

You can also access and share all the other 100+ episodes of the podcast from this website. If you like the show, please leave us a review on iTunes/Apple podcasts and join us on our FB page. Have a great week out there creating your best life story on purpose. And don’t forget to find the beauty in the hard spaces.

To contact Jodi or get her books: Email: authorjodibrown@gmail.com

Linkedin: jodi-orgill-brown (https://www.linkedin.com/in/jodi-orgill-brown-3613881/ (https://www.linkedin.com/in/jodi-orgill-brown-3613881/)) Fhttps://www.facebook.com/jodi.o.brown (acebook): writerjodibrown (https://www.facebook.com/WriterJodiBrown/ (https://www.facebook.com/WriterJodiBrown/)) Instagram: @jodiorgillbrown

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Episode 107 Interview with Heidi Totten – What is YOUR Kenya? Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast.

Today we are talking about how awesome it is that we get to take underwear for granted, and how one woman is at the hub of creating underwear for women in Kenya who may have never had underwear – and most certainly do NOT take it for granted. But it’s a lot more than just a talk about skivvies. We’re talking about 100 humanitarians international and what that means. But the question you’ll want to ask yourself when this is over is WHAT IS YOUR KENYA?

Heidi Totten is a business strategist that creates programs and mentoring opportunities to help people transform their lives. We hear a lot of taglines like that on this podcast, but Heidi does this through a unique way of meditating and writing that helps create miracles in people’s lives; she calls it Manifesting Miracles. She is also the creator of 100 Humanitarians International, a non-profit focused on economic development in Kenya which includes teaching self-reliance and a whole lotta underwear. Let’s get the real story from Heidi –

To hear the interview with Heidi, listen to the audio program.

We’ve had tremendous stories of people who are creating abundance and relief for people with less in different parts of the world. Their stories are inspiring and interesting, but I love the question Heidi comes back to for our own lives which is WHAT IS YOUR KENYA? In our lives there are things we are drawn to do, and what if we just had 100 people that we influenced, touched, helped, worked with, orchestrated their talents and gifts for the forward movement of the good you feel compelled to do. It’s an interesting idea. I want to leave you with the challenge, not that you have to find 100 people for your Kenya, but to simply think about what YOUR Kenya might be. Where do you feel inclined to create something meaningful in your life?

Thanks for being here today. Go out there and live your best life story. Keep up the great work!

To contact Heidi Totten: www.100humanitarians.com

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Episode 105 Wendy Yellen: Move Through the Things that Stop you to Get to the Next Level

Wendy Yellen was named one of the international top 3 transformation experts in her field. She works in the field of Eidetic Imagery where she supports people of heart and integrity around the world to live a full, passionate, successful and unshackled life of love, awareness and compassion. I bring her to the Love Your Story podcast to provide another possible tool for getting to the bottom of any of your stories that may be holding you back.

Today we do a little Eidetic work on the show so you can get an idea of what it is, and she shares her stories and ideas for living bigger.

Listen to the audio program for our interview.

If you’d like more information or to contact Wendy Yellen:

www.myspiritualmanifesto.com

There are many types of people and thus many types of tools that appeal to different people. Eidetic Imagery is an option. I hope you enjoyed our interview, got something out of it, and if it is of interest to you, you can learn more by contacting Wendy.

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Episode 104: We All Know Fear We all know fear. We’ve come up short as the fear of rejection stopped us from being vulnerable with someone, or stopped us from creating a relationship, or stopped us from sharing ourselves or an idea. We’ve known the fear of failure as we’ve contemplated doing something risky and then done an about-face as the wash of “what-if-it doesn’t-work” engulfs us.

Fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear of rejection are internally generated. These fears come from evolution –based circumstances. A need to be part of a community (so not wanting to alienate others), a need to know outcomes (fear of the unknown), a need to survive. Fear of the dark stems from being in a space where our senses cannot inform us of what is around us. It’s very natural to fear not-knowing. Fear is a big part of the human experience, but facing fear is the only way through it. Stay tuned for a head-on tackle of this all too familiar topic.

In order to manage fear and to gauge which actions we will take and which ones we won’t, we ask “What If” questions. What if I try this and I fail? What if it doesn’t work? What if I make a decision and in a few years I’m not happy? What if people think I’m stupid, or if I ruin my reputation? What if my idea is too elementary? What if I get told no? What if I get hurt?

It’s normal to ask these questions. It’s how we gauge risk. But there is a point where these questions quit serving us and they simply hold us back, paralyze us, keep us small.

Here are a few other questions to ask yourself after you’ve listened to all the self-preservation questions: What IF it didn’t work out? Does the world really end? Would I regret the courage and adventure of trying for this, of attempting to live bigger, of loving and risking for the life with the most potential? What if it DID work out? What adventures might I find along the way? What will I learn as I let myself focus on success instead of fear? What’s really possible if I chose courage and possibility instead of fear? Do I want to still be who I am and where I am now, five years from now?

Let me share a personal story:

A few weeks ago I headed out on a backpacking trip with nine other people into the Wallowa mountain range. You’ll remember Lydia McGranahan, the woman who found Annie Schmidt’s body and Marty Newey, the man in Annie Schmidt’s search party from episodes 73, 74 and 75. I was invited to join this group on their annual adventure because we all wanted to meet, and because we all love nature and adventures, and because with my experience as an outdoor recreationalist – being a hiking guidebook writer – they believed I would be up for the challenge. As did I. We carpooled to Oregon, a group of 9 people. I had four in my car, with every intention that we would be spending the next 5 days together in the mountains. The plan was that we’d start out with a 6-mile day, then a 12 mile, then a 5 mile, then a 10 mile and then a 4 mile with daily side hikes tacked on. Well, I have spent many years backpacking and I know my limits well. I know that with a full pack I can punch out 8 miles a day before my feet and resolve have worn out. But, I had really wanted to come with this group and I figured if Marty, who is almost 60 could pump out that type of mileage, I could push through it. I went in with hope, but by the end of day 1, which had actually turned out to be about a mile and a half longer than projected, I was at my max for the day and I didn’t want to think about getting up bright and early as the sun warmed my tent, strapping my pack back on my aching hips and shoulders, and kicking out an additional 12 miles. The pace would be grueling. We’d climbed 3000 feet with a full pack on day one. It had been a good day, but now we were at a beautiful mountain lake, 7.5 miles into the Wallowa-Whitman National Forest and setting up a base camp was what I would do if left to my own devices. I’d set up a base camp, do day hikes without the...

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Episode 104 Interview Taunia Dawn Terry Part 2: There Is a Price to Pay for Freedom and Joy Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. Today Part 2 of my interview with Taunia Dawn Terry hits the airwaves.

If you’re just joining us, go back and listen to her story in Part 1 because Part 2 is a our candid discussion about a woman who has beautiful spiritual gifts of intuition and healing, but Part 1 tells you how she got there. This two-part series includes a story of living through a Satanic ritual, five marriages/divorces, and a transformational path where she discovered how to listen to her higher power, how to face fear, how to pay the price for freedom, and how to uncover and use her spiritual gifts.

Taunia Dawn Terry brings a unique approach to personal transformation. She currently works as a transformation coach, where she is known for her intuition in the Healing arts, Neurofeedback and life coaching. Taunia is an expert at guiding her clients through the chaos of change so they can transform their pain and fear into wisdom and courage. Wh is all about maximizing freedom, joy, peace, and abundance for living an ideal and authentic life.

When speaking of healing and transformation, Taunia said,

“There’s a price to pay for your freedom and joy. Though there is definitely a Divine grace that bestows those gifts, it is also something that must be earned. It would not be valued if you didn’t recognize the cost – in order to heal you must learn the lessons, grow, and change. You can’t have anyone else take your life tests for you.”

Tune into the audio program for part 2 of a 2-part series and the story of how one woman survived the unspeakable, stood for change, and did what it takes to create a new story.

We talk about the process of Awakening, Exploring, Choosing and Being. It’s good stuff.

To contact Taunia Dawn Terry: taunia@tauniadawn.com

Business Phone: 385-352-3233

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Episode 103 Interview Taunia Dawn Terry – Part 1: There Is a Price to Pay for Freedom and Joy

Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. Today I have a double treat for you. My interview with Taunia Dawn Terry is one that involves one hell of a story, but spoiler alert, it ends with a woman who has beautiful spiritual gifts of intuition and healing. This two-part series includes a story of living through a Satanic ritual, five marriages/divorces, and a transformational path where she discovered how to listen to her higher power, how to face fear, how to pay the price for freedom, and how to uncover and use her spiritual gifts. Stay tuned for my interview with Taunia and the first episode in this series.

Taunia Dawn Terry brings a unique approach to personal transformation. She currently works as a transformation coach, where she is known for her intuition in the Healing arts, Neuro feedback and life coaching. Taunia is an expert at guiding her clients through the chaos of change so they can transform their pain and fear into wisdom and courage. Wh is all about maximizing freedom, joy, peace and abundance for living an ideal and authentic life.

Tune into the audio program for part 1 of a 2-part series and the story of how one woman survived the unspeakable, stood for change, and did what it takes to create a new story.

When speaking of healing and transformation, Taunia said, “There’s a price to pay for your freedom and joy. Though there is definitely a Divine grace that bestows those gifts, it is also something that must be earned. It would not be valued if you didn’t recognize the cost – in order to heal you must learn the lessons, grow, and change. You can’t have anyone else take your life tests for you.”

To contact Taunia Dawn Terry: taunia@tauniadawn.com

Business Phone: 385-352-3233

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Episode 102 Stories from the Drum and Bugle Corps. Academy Drum and Bugle Corps is a world-class professional marching band out of Tempe Arizona.

Today’s episode is a group interview with some of these impressive and talented young musicians as we sat out on the field after they finished up a 10-hour practice on a hot July day. Stay tuned for their stories of learning, self-discipline, overcoming, and motivation.

I loved talking with these kids because these young adults choose to be involved in a tremendously demanding program that requires strict discipline, and they choose this course rather than a summer of video games, strolling the malls, and snap chatting aimlessly with their friends. It’s a choice to create a story of excellence, family-like bonds through the hours of working in synchronicity with one another, and living on the road, sleeping on gym floors, and bringing their all on the competition field.

In 2001, The Academy Brass & Percussion Ensemble was formed to give some of Arizona’s finest young musicians an introduction to the incredibly unique activity of drum and bugle corps. They started out with a membership of 50-60 musicians. In 2004, the group added the final element of the color guard, was accepted as a DCI sanctioned unit, made the name change to The Academy Drum and Bugle Corps and began competing for the first time.

In 2006, the corps had grown to 135 members and competed for the first time in Drum Corps International World Championships in Madison, Wisconsin where they earned the title of Division II World Champion. 2007 marked their first year competing in Division I, now called World Class, where they continue to compete today. In 2009, The Academy was named the official drum and bugle corps of the City of Tempe. 2016 marked a historic season for the corps with its first appearance in World Class Finals competition and the corps is now in the middle of another stellar season – touring and competing.

Today I interviewed a group of the musicians, as they finished up their final practice for the day.

To hear the interviews listen to the audio show where we get the inside scoop and discuss some great tools:

Try out – get in the game.

Stay in the present.

Focus on the goal of excellence.

Keep coming back.

For more information on the Academy drum and bugle corps go to: http://www.arizonaacademy.org (www.arizonaacademy.org)

Thanks for tuning in to today’s episode. I hope you found one takeaway that inspires you! Keep creating your best life story, and if there is someplace you’ve been holding back, maybe you’ve been afraid to try for something, join some group, get in the game…remember, you DON’T make 100% of the things you don’t try for. Let’s get in the game.

http://www.loveyourstorypodcast.com (www.loveyourstorypodcast.com) for access to all the 100+ episodes, each one full of inspiration and empowering ideas for living your best life story. You can also sign up for the 21 LIFE Connection Challenge on the site. Join us for the next group challenge and start creating new results in your life. ! See you next week.

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Episode 101 The Kjars: Part 3 – Travels to all 50 States Concludes Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. For those of you that are loyal listeners, you’ll already be familiar with the Kjars – the family traveling to all 50 states in 52 weeks in their motor home, meeting with other kids and families to see how other people in our country live.

In the first interview – episode 45 they had just shadowed kids who were real-life cowboys – spending their days on ranches, and weightlifters competing and training.

In our second iinterview, episode 61, they had just finished spending time with the Amish and walking the sacred ground of Gettysburg.

Now they’ve just finished up Hawaii and Alaska and they are here to tell us the stories of their latest adventures as they finish up the 50th state and return home. Stay tuned to catch up with the Kjars.

Tune into the audio program for my interview with Matt and Lindsay.

You can see their adventures on 50×52.com and on YouTube, Instagram, and Facebook.

https://www.facebook.com/50by52InYourShoes/

https://www.50by52.com/

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The Mentor – We’re all in this Together Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. You are tuned in for episode 100, and today we are talking about the third story archetype (the third one I’ve tackled on the podcast) – the Mentor. Joseph Campbell, in his book https://www.amazon.com/Thousand-Faces-Collected-Joseph-Campbell/dp/1577315936/&tag=mythcreants-20 (The Hero of a Thousand Faces), claimed that the most popular stories over millennia and across cultures, share a specific formula- the hero’s journeHero’s hero’s Journey has a specific plot structure, but it also has a repeating cast of characters, known as character archetypes. Archetypes tell us the role a character plays in the story – for instance, the hero is one of the archetypes, the threshold guardian that talked about in episode 72 is another, and the Herald that we talked about in episode 93 is yet another example. The archetype we’re talking about today is the MENTOR. You’ll want to tune in today because nobody does this thing called LIFE on their own. We need each other. It’s why the MENTOR is such an important archetype in the story formula and in the stories of our lives. Today we’re going to start a discussion about those special people who show up at the cross roads for us, about the wise who give us sage advice, about the moments those mentors gift us with the perfect magic elixir we need in the moment, and about how we also play that most important role in the lives of the people in our story. Why is the Mentor such an important character? Because who hasn’t wished for a fairy godmother from time to time, or wanted their own Obi Wan Kenobi to show up and give them a light-saber, or when we are walking through the dark forests of our lives running from danger – who couldn’t do with the 7 dwarves showing up to give you shelter and safety as they did with Snow White? When you’re out on your scariest, out-of-your-comfort-zone stretches in life, like Dorthy in the Wizard of Oz, have you noticed how people show up along your path to give you clues, advice, and heart? Have you noticed that people show up to walk your path with you, like the Lion, the Tin Man or the Scarcrow? Stay tuned because it’s important to realize and acknowledge how much we need other people and how important it is for us to show up for them as well.

When I was 16 my parents and I got in a fight. The final shake out was a ultimatum – follow the rules or find someplace else to live. I moved out. I moved to Southern California with my aunt and uncle and therein started a type of mentor relationship with my Aunt Katie. When I moved to California I was frustrated at not being trusted and not being listened to at home. I was coming from a really good home with really strict rules, and the big fight in question happened because I tried to do my laundry on Sunday – and that was a no-no. I, as the hero in this story, was on a journey of growing up. I knew what I wanted, where I wanted to be, how I wanted to do things and I certainly didn’t need shackles and restrictions or other people’s ideas of how to do things. Heck I was 16 years old and had it figured out. No really. I did. So, when I moved to Orange County California and my aunt listened to me, treated me like an adult, wore cool clothes and did cool things I felt excited with new possibilities. She was wise and we would talk about real life. That was new. She gave good advice but didn’t push me. She gave me the gifts of shelter, food, ideas and respect that this little hero needed at this stage of her story. I went back home after spending a summer at the beach and working at the local theatre and I was further along my hero’s journey because a woman who would prove to be my mentor in many ways and for many years showed up at that crossroads.

Who are the mentors in your life? Can you think of them right off the bat? If not, here are a couple leading ideas…. The mentor character is the person who teaches, protects and...

The Hero with a Thousand Faces (The Collected Works of Joseph Campbell)

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Episode 99 Interview with Dan Davis: Stories that Stir Welcome back to the Love Your Story podcast. It’s a beautiful summer day for creating fabulous moments in your life story, so let’s get a little inspiration for doing something that your future self will thank you for.

Today I have Dan Davis, the owner, and creator of Stiry – stories that stir, with me today. He and his team have told video stories of over 60 individuals and organizations from around the world. From the everyday Joe to the billion dollar CEO, each and every story is a journey of discovery.

Stay tuned for a peek at his story and the process he’s learned for peeling back the layers of living to discover your own story and the realization that your life is more than just a list of chronological events. This is about changing the world.

Dan Davis has run a variety of multi-million dollar companies in various industries. He’s worked in sports marketing, film production, healthcare, and digital marketing. He’s currently the CEO of Stiry, a video storytelling platform used to help people discover their full potential through stories that move you.

Tune in to the audio program for the interview.

For more information and to contact Dan:

dan@stiry.com

www.stiry.com

facebook.com/stiry,

instagram:@stiryofficial

Youtube: Stiry

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Episode 98 Interview Talie Davis Weir: Uncovering and Acknowledging the Masterpiece You Already Are Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast! Where I get to interview people with amazing life stories; where we discuss tools for living our best life stories, and really often we get both at the same time. Like today! Today I bring you Talie Davis Weir from Ohio. She is a life and personal development coach that focuses on empowering leaders to create profound impact centered in JOY. I have met Talie and worked with her and she truly impersonates that JOY. She is a mom, a ballroom dancer, and a leader of retreats, but the reason I’ve asked her on the show today is that she has a really interesting life story that involves living in a religious commune, separating out of that community, divorcing her minister husband and making her way into a life of purposeful creation.

Stay tuned for her story AND some tips on mindset, joy regardless of circumstances, and a few inside coaching tips from her.

Tune in to the audio program for our discussion.

To contact or get more information on Talie:

Instagram: coachingwithtalie

Facebook: www.facebook.com/coachingwithtalie

Text morningsalive to 48421

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Episode 97 Interview with the von Niederhauserns: Family Humanitarian “Excitement and Fear are the Same Feeling.”

The vonNiederhausern family consists of Rachel the mother, Steve the father and six children ages 14 – 4 months. Steve and Rachel have a very powerful way of living – on purpose. They say that sometimes it feels a little weird to buck the cultural norms of not owning a house and putting down roots, but instead of using their money to buy cars and a house and eating out regularly, as much of America does, Steve bikes to work, Rachel bargain shops, they rent a basement in a home in a good neighborhood, and they homeschool their kids.

They then turn around and put all their money into a project called Family Humanitarian where they travel to Africa and South America to help the poor across the world by helping them create better living conditions. This they do with all their kids in tow, and other families as well. We’ll hear their story, and also a little about how their lifestyle and Steve’s savvy with social media has garnered them 50,000 plus followers on Instagram where it caught the attention of Royal Caribbean Cruise lines and turned into a partnership of cruising the Caribbean on the cruise line’s dime, sharing with their followers a story of creating an unorthodox life, on purpose.

Tune in to the podcast for my interview with the Von Neiderhauserns and their stories of how and why they started Family Humanitarian, what that looks like, and some thoughts on the poverty and wealth matrix.

For more information about the von Niederhauser’s:

@thevonfamily

familyhumanitarian.org

cacheloavesandfishes.org

Thanks for being here today for a dose of love your story and how service changes lives.

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Episode 96 Interview with Mark Shurtleff: A Tornado of Trails – When the Other Shoe Drops Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. Today you are joining me for an interview with Mark Shurtleff the former three term Utah Attorney General. He is the founder of Shurtleff Consulting Group and Law Firm, and the owner of the Commercial clean energy project development company. He is the author of a historical novel Am I Not a Man? The Dred Scott Story and a former U.S. Naval Officer. He also is the father of five children and has 8 grandchildren.

I’ve invited Mark on the show today because that little intro doesn’t even skim the surface of his story. In June of 2014 Mark was charged with bribery and corruption charges as the Attorney General. His home was raided by the FBI and as the next two years evolved until the criminal case was dismissed in July of 2016 there was quite an ordeal. If that’s not enough his story also involves a devastating motorcycle accident that involved 15 surgeries and a fight against cancer.

Our discussion today is not about politics. Our discussion today is about the human side of struggle. About the story from Mark, on the inside. The hero of a story always has two journeys – the outward journey that involves the milestones and the outer struggles – the mountains to climb, the obstacles to overcome, but it also involves an inner journey of emotion, mental fortitude and failure, struggle = and sometimes that’s the bigger story. So, stay tuned as we get the inside story from Mark Shurtleff

Tune into the audio program for the interview with Mark Shurtleff. For more information or to follow Mark:

FB: Mark Shurtleff Twitter: @markshurtleff IG: Mark Shurtleff LinkedIn: Mark L. Shurtleff http://www.shurtlefflawfirm.com/ (www.shurtlefflawfirm.com)

Adversity comes to each of us in different packages. Regardless of where others feel we stand – whether you feel Mark is right or wrong for sueing the state, for example, the adversity, his adversity is a tale that we can all relate with in our own way. It’s a tale of deep struggle. The things I take away from this discussion are:

Thanks for joining us today – Love Your Story is about inspiring and empowering each of you wonderful listeners to find the strength to live your best story. I have provided tools on the website for reframing your past stories that are holding you back – a 5 part course you can sign up for. And, I have also created the 21-Day Life Connection Challenge that gives you 21 new tools – 1 a day for creating more connection and possibility in your life story as you move forward creating what you want on purpose. Please join us on FB in the Love Your Story Groupies FB page where we are sharing stories, notes on the podcasts we like, sharing the 21-Day Challenge together. Join us! Love to have you on

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Episode 95 The Bad-Ass Broad Link to Stephanie’s site and this post: https://stephaniestclaire.com/the-bad-ass-broad/

The Bad Ass Broad

By Stephanie St. Claire

Sometimes life requires you to be a bad ass broad. As in, take a look at the craziness surrounding you, pull that shit together, and HANDLE IT.

Who is the Bad Ass Broad?

She doesn’t tolerate drama, whether it’s her own or another’s. She lives in the real world, so there is always going to be craziness to contend with. But she recognizes it early and excuses herself from the scene.

She’s self-possessed and commands her space in the room. Her confidence is strong but quiet. She’s not a loud mouth. She takes a compliment and looks you in the eye when you’re giving it.

She’s an observer more than a talker, acutely aware of her surroundings. She uses the information to her advantage.

She doesn’t talk badly about other people, and while that sounds really angelic, she knows it will be traced right back to her and prizes her hard-earned credibility.

She enjoys a good stiff drink, but never forgets that the sun will rise tomorrow and require her full strength and sobriety.

She’s not threatened by other women. As a matter of fact, she’s the first to tell a stranger how pretty she looks, or congratulate a friend on her new promotion. She feels energized by other women’s successes.

A bad ass broad does not get involved with someone else’s man. Period. End of story. She has a memory of how that went down and has learned from her mistakes.

The fiercest thing about a bad ass broad is her ability to extricate herself from a situation that isn’t working.

Once aware of her mistake, she will snap her wallet closed, snap her knees together, snap her heart out of hypnosis and head out with a swiftness that will suck the very oxygen from your lungs.

She is discerning about what comes out of her mouth. She doesn’t blab about family drama, new beaus, possible layoffs, or her own marriage issues. She has a few confidants, and they’ve earned her trust. She waits things out to see how they will settle before she goes into details with the general public. She knows she will rise above any situation and has no interest in ruining the reputations of others.

A bad ass broad is not afraid of hard work. She rolls up her sleeves and gets to it. She doesn’t bitch about it, and she doesn’t wait for someone else to do it. She doesn’t let herself get distracted and is very aware that resistance is a cunning enemy. Resistance being: fear, self-doubt, procrastination, addiction, distraction, narcissism, self-loathing, and perfectionism.

A bad ass broad is not a loud mouth, gossip, or a bitch. She doesn’t throw her weight around, get loud and demanding, or act like she’s better than everyone. She lets her actions speak for themselves, which saves her of a bunch of vapid talking.

A bad ass broad values freedom, and sometimes does things unconventionally to afford her the highest measure of it.

She takes big risks because she is willing to be her own rescue if things don’t work out. She has survived numerous personal plot twists and can take what’s handed to her without blaming others.

A bad ass broad is MADE, not born. She’s a sinner with the heart of a saint. She’s been trespassed against, and she’s done some trespassing of her own. But at some point, she drew a line in the sand, stopped the drama, and took back the wheel.

She’s in charge of her life. She can take the heat. She handles business.

Touring the facility and picking up slack,

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Episode 94 Interview with Tabitha Trent: We Can Do Hard Things Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. You are tuning in today for the story of Tabitha Trent – a young married woman with a 2-year-old daughter who was diagnosed with stage III Colon Cancer in January 2017.

Let me share a couple reasons I’m doing this interview: first, there is probably not a soul out there that hasn’t either had cancer or known someone who has. It’s an epidemic in our modern world – my grandmother died of cancer, my mother fought breast cancer, my son has leukemia, I have another friend who has fought phenomenally hard for years but doesn’t have much time left. I’m sure you have a similar list. Second, Tabitha, from the beginning has been very open about her journey. She aligned herself with the Colorectal Cancer Alliance and volunteered in their buddy program. She’s been open from the beginning so that her journey could help others with questions or fears about the process of battling cancer. She has proactively shared her story of grit. And third, because her advocacy and choice to shift her mindset from one of fear and denial to positivity and supporting others who were going through this as she was, gives us a story of one woman’s choice to create something powerful from something horrible.

Stay tuned for her story and listen in on her amazing and inspirational attitude.

Tune into the podcast for my interview with Tabitha

Contact information for Tabitha:

Social media tags and websites – http://www.linkedin.com/in/tabtherecruiter (www.linkedin.com/in/tabtherecruiter) and #TabTheRecruiter

Our realities are a creation of our mindset. I know it’s hard to take that full responsibility, especially when things kick our feet out from under us. Sometimes it’s hard for me to control my mindset – I get it. And, I would never suggest that everyone who gets a horrible disease should simply bounce up and away and shift their mindset into power and positivity, because there is certainly a time for mourning, for fear, for anger, for all the other emotions that are such a big part of illness, especially terminal illness. You are totally justified to feel all those emotions and more. But stories like Tabitha’s show us that the fear and anger, the horror and depression don’t have to be where we stay. There is a choice to shift into brighter spaces. For those of you who want another option – the option of finding power and positive and getting real with your grit – here’s a story of someone who has done just that.

Thanks for joining us for her story today.

As I sign off I want to invite you to join the Love Your Story Podcast Groupies Facebook page and be a part of our community. We are going to be doing groups from that community who are doing the 21-Day LIFE Connection Challenge together, so you guys can do it in a group and talk about your experiences there in the community. I’d love to have everyone listening right now join that community, and if you want to join the next group of 21-Day LIFE Connection Challengers, just type it on the page or message me and I’ll be in touch about when the next group is starting. Check it out for more info on loveyourstorypodcast.com.

See you next week for another inspiring story or tool on making your life story fabulous!

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Episode 93 What is a Herald? Who or What is Calling You into the Great Adventures of Your Life?

Welcome back to the Love Your Story Podcast. Today we are picking up the story archetype discussion – specifically the archetype of the Herald. Remember in episode 72 when we talked about the Threshold Guardian and the things that test us to see how badly we want what we think we want? Well, today we are going to dig into the Herald archetype. Stay tuned for a look at who your heralds are and the invitation they are bringing, and why you should probably say “yes.”

Joseph Campbell, in his book The Hero of a Thousand Faces, posited that the most popular stories over millennia and across cultures, share a specific formula– the heroes journey. You have consumed this “monomyth” in pop culture classics like Star Wars, the Matrix, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, to name only a few.

The Hero’s Journey has a specific plot structure, but it also has a repeating cast of characters, known as character archetypes. Archetypes tell us the role a character plays in the story. Thinking about the characters in your story – or the people in your story as these pivotal characters adds a bit of a perspective shift that often provides clarity in your story, but most of all, when you look closely the archetypes of story provide the handbook for life, an instruction manual on the art of human stories and creating and recognizing your own hero’s journey. If nothing else it’s very interesting to consider the things that challenge you as threshold guardians, the people in your life who invite you into adventure and new ways as heralds, and the villains we face as shadows of our own possible dark side.

The central archetypal cast of the Heroes Journey fall into one of these eight character roles: Hero, Mentor, Ally, Herald, Trickster, Threshold Guardian, Shape Shifter, Villain or Shadow.

Today I want to talk about the Herald.

According to the definition on Mythcreants – Fantasy and Science Fiction for Story Tellers, “The Herald appears near the beginning to announce the need for change in the hero’s life. They are the catalyst that sets the whole adventure in motion. While they often bring news of a threat in a distant land, they can also simply show a dissatisfied hero a tempting glimpse of a new life. Occasionally they single the hero out, picking them for a journey they wouldn’t otherwise take.”

Why do we care who the heralds are in our stories? I don’t know, maybe you don’t, but the reason I do is because they are key players in the directions we head in our lives. They may be in the script for a very short moment, but the role they play is incredibly significant, and that merits at least a 15-minute conversation. And, personally, once I have identified the heralds in my own story they take on a pedestal place in my book because they are the catalysts, the instigators for my greatest pivotal events. They opened the doors to adventure. Life is one big journey, and within it we take lots of different kinds of journeys – we take emotional journeys, we take learning journeys, we take professional journeys and journey through relationships. We take literal journeys filled with travel and adventure, and the heralds who extend those invitations, who show me the door, well, they have a special place in my heart.

The great stories begin with the “call to adventure.” The human spirit is born to explore and grow, and change is happening to us all the time, but often it is our choice as to whether or not we accept the invitation. We have to act when the Herald shows up.

Let’s talk about some heralds we are all familiar with from pop-culture: R2D2 brought the message of Princess Leah that started Luke on the journey of his life. The letter announcing the ball in the Cinderella story opened a door to magic and happily ever after – yes a herald can be a letter calling you into the adventure. In the Hobbit, Gandolf invites...

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Episode 92 Interview with Carmel Clermont: Mother to the Masses Carmel Clermont is a Haitian woman who was raised by her aunt in Haiti until she was 15 years old. She finally joined her parents in the US in 1986. She went to high school, and to college, got married and had 5 children, inherited 5 more stepchildren, and decided she was most at home when she was helping others, so she went to work to unofficially adopt 300 children in Haiti through the support of their orphanages.

Tune into the podcast for the interview with Carmel and discussion topics that include her sex education classes, child prostitution, single mother programs and getting meals and general education for the inhabitants of the two orphanages she has personally taken on.

For more information on her and on her non-profit the Clermont Care Center:

https://www.gofundme.com/ClermontInternationalAcademy

clermontcarecenter@gmail.com,

clermontcarecenter.org

https://venmo.com/schoolsponsorship

https://www.facebook.com/Clermont-Care-Center-Inc-463807990674848

Carmel Claremont goes beyond creating her own life on purpose, she makes sure that in the creation of her own life she is also creating a better life for others through helping to educate, feed and clothe them. She said to me:

“I believe with my heart and soul, those that give always have more in return. Matthew 25 V 35 ‘For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. 36 I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’ One of my greatest accomplishment on earth is becoming a mother, I think I was born to be a mother not only to my own kids but also to others I come encounter with. My aunt raised me, I grew with a lot of love and I see other children that did not have what I have, I always said to myself I want to be the best Mom, I can be.

Thanks for tuning in this week. See you next week on the Love Your Story podcast for another great story or story tool.

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Episode 91 Creating Your Life on Purpose (Guest Interview with Taylor Proctor) When a story is told we follow along with the main character and await the challenge or the crux of the story – the adventure, and then we listen or watch as the hero decides what to do. The events have already happened, that’s why the story can be told, but the piece we didn’t need to think about was how the characters in the story made their real-time choices and thus those actions or inactions that moved the story forward. Let’s talk about that power. As the author of your life story every moment you are moving your story forward. Every choice, every action creates ripples, creates responses, closes doors, open doors, hurts, helps, generates energy and creates your future. Will you enjoy poetry and tea and snuggling with a cute little Yorkie to start your day, as I did this morning? Will you start off choosing actions that make YOUR soul sing, or create love? Will you fight off fear that may loom about your day ahead? Will you yell at your kids, or take a run, or take someone for granted, or listen to an inspirational podcast that may trigger an action that will change up your day and maybe your story? Will you allow your inner critic to rip into you today, or will you manage your inner stories? The choices are endless – really, you could create anything. What will you create today? Right now? What is your storyline? Is it on autopilot or can you shake it up for a little novelty? Maybe just what you need today is to do something completely unexpected. Ooohhhhh – what might that be and where might that take you? Do it!

One of the tag-lines of Love Your Story is that it seeks to empower and inspire you to create your best life story on purpose. This statement exudes personal responsibility, but it also glows with power.

In her book The 90 Day Life, Dr. Jen Faber says, One of the first things we must do in order to live well is to accept the responsibility we have for our own lives. “We are not the side effect of our current circumstances. We are the Cause of them. Once you realize that you had the power to create the way of life you’re in right now, you’ll see that you have the same power to change it.”

This is not to say that you caused everything that happened to you in your life. I’m never a fan of that theory, but it is to say that your thoughts, your perceptions, your actions, your inactions, your boundaries, your allowances, your inner stories have indeed played the major role in your life as it is…and equally important is the fact that your current circumstances are a result of your interpretation of those events and if you are caught in circumstances that hold you hostage due to your past, you DO have the option to choose to heal, and thus to change your future circumstances. With healing comes a change of vision, of attitude, of gratitude and those things are key in changing your future circumstances.

Let me get a little scientific on you for a minute.

When you open your eyes do you see the world as it really is? Do you see reality? This is how the book Deviate: The Science of Seeing Differently, by Beau Lotto, starts out. Deviate is a neuroscientist scientific discussion explaining why we don’t, in any way, see reality. Our senses play a limited role in what we perceive, the rest of what we create comes from our assumptions. Our brains have evolved to do this, and it works, but becoming self-aware that our perceptions aren’t reality gives us a space for questioning and breaking out of old stories that hold us back. The fact that we can perceive our own perception is amazing…. How do we step outside the past to live differently in the future? How can you change your way of seeing? How can we become active writers of our own story?

You’re the only one seeing what you see. Perception is profoundly personal

Beau Lotto, posits that we do not live in reality – our senses are limited, we can only see a certain range of...

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Episode 90 Your Origin Story: Where are you from? (Guest interview with Will Schaub) What is an origin story? The definition found in the ever trusted source of Wikidepia states that:” In entertainment, an origin story is an account or back-story revealing how a character or group of people become a protagonist or antagonist, and adds to the overall study of a narrative, often giving reasons for their intentions.”

I will add that sometimes it’s focused on what led you to a certain place – the origin of the journey. Sometimes it’s about your heritage – where you come from and how those family lines help define who you are and what you stand for. Why does an origin story matter? Stay tuned for a story and discussion on this very topic.

So, why does an origin story matter? It basically boils down to helping people understand you or your idea, and story is ideal for this. Have you ever wanted someone to understand where a concept came from – like, for me, I may want to share the story of how Love Your Story was developed – Love Your Story definitely has an origin story (which BTW you can watch a video of that on the website at loveyourstorypodcast.com); or you’d really like to share with someone the story of where YOU come from so they can understand you more completely – seeking to connect with another human.

Origin stories are powerful in business as they help you show, not just tell, why you do what you do and why that should matter to your employees or clients. For example:

David Hutchins Origin Story example in the book Circle of the 9 Muses:

There was an MBA student in the US on scholarship.

“I grew up in S America and we didn’t have any money. The way we earned our money was that my father owned a trophy shop. His whole family worked there to survive. One day a famous Hollywood superstar came into their little trophy shop because they were filming a movie in town. That was really exciting for us.”

“I spent my entire childhood observing winners, because the people who came into the trophy shop were winning things, accomplishing things. I was always fascinated. I would always watch them- whether it was Shaun Penn or the coach of a winning team. What did these winners have in common? I wanted to understand everything I could about winners and leaders – that’s what I want to do for my career. That’s what brought me here to the US to get my MBA.”

Now he’s not just someone who needs the job, he’s got depth and drive. Now you can see that he is there because this is an expression of his identity. This is who he is.

In our personal lives, our origin stories may be useful for connecting with others, but they may also be most important to ourselves.

Will Schaub, was born in Saigon, Vietnam during the Vietnam War. His mother is Vietnamese and his father is from Kansas City, MO. He has 3 brothers and 1 sister and they came to the US in 1971. His father dies shortly after they arrive and what ensues after as he watches the struggles of his mother through his childhood creates an origin story has helped shape his responses to his own life journey.

Listen to the podcast to hear Will tell his story.

For more information or to contact Will:

will@willservsolutions.com

www.willservsolutions.com

You can also find him on LinkedIn and Facebook

Spiderman’s origin story is based in receiving his powers from a scientific accident. Batman’s origin story is based in the death of his parents and how this shapes his choices and the trajectory of his life. Wonder Woman’s origin story is one of being raised by all-female Amazonian warriors with a sense of responsibility to the world. Superhero origin stories are fun to look at and they ALWAYS play the major role in the character and their superhero path. As do the stories of our pasts, create for us the forward projection of our lives. I’m going to throw out an idea. As you consider your origin story this week, consider if it has held you back or helped you

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Random Acts of Kindness – Boots on the Ground It’s an inside job

“Along your pathway of life, you will observe that you are not the only traveler. There are others who need your help. There are feet to steady, hands to grasp, minds to encourage, hearts to inspire, and souls to save.”

–Thomas S. Monson, Past Prophet of the LDS Church

Random Acts of Kindness are a thing. There are groups, websites, and people who rally others to get out and focus on acts of kindness and the creation of goodness and service on purpose. I am one of those who has served as a herald to help rally others into the RAK movement. I created groups and get-togethers for people who want to use this life story tool for bringing some good into the world. During two of these meet-ups I interviewed the people involved so we could get a real BOOTS ON THE GROUND retelling of what it was like. Hopefully you’ll find some inspiration from their stories. The cover photo is a group in Ohio that I was a part of. We made a sign saying we were giving away free hugs. The guy in the middle is one of the people we hugged, a man who wanted a picture with us to remember others reaching out to him.

Enjoy the episode and I hope it will inspire you to maybe find your own RAK today.

Tune into the episode to hear the interviews.

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Episode 88: Defining Our Personal Values – Do you have stories to prove these are your values? When a business defines its values it determines what it wants its governing value system to be. Now, this can be hot air, something that sounds good in a mission statement, or it can be something that the management and employees live by. When we set our own personal value system it’s very similar. Actively choosing the values you wish to create your life around can give you direction, definition, and clarity as you make your day-to-day choices. Stay with me today for some thoughts on the process of setting your own personal values that will guide your life story creation and why you want to do it.

Let me start out with a story

A new CEO had been appointed who believed strongly in putting the customer first. Right away he implemented the policy of all employees parking at the back of the lot to keep the closer spaces open for customers. Soon thereafter the CEO was out for store visits and arrived at one store just as a torrential downpour was unleashed. The employees watched nervously as he drove around the parking lot waiting to see if he would park at the back of the lot and ruin his expensive suit by running through the rain, or if he’d park up front and call it a special circumstance. A few moments later, they got their answer as the CEO sprinted through 100 yards of pouring rain, completely drenched. His suit was ruined. But, he bought a bargain suit from the store before he started his tour. There was never any question about how employees were expected to act regarding this value. MANAGEMENT MEANT WHAT THEY SAID WHEN THEY SAID THE CUSTOMER COMES FIRST.

When we as parents and adults set our own personal value system, and then live according to those specific values, we do what this CEO did – we show our children and the world around us what we are serious about. The values we live by, and the values we expect those under our tutelage to live by.

Early in my first marriage we sat down and created a family motto. Things we stood for. Ways of living that were important to us. We made a chart – like a mission statement you might see in a business, and we put it up so we could refer to it often.

One of the values I wanted to impart to my children was an appreciation and a love for the outdoors. I wanted to leave a legacy of a love for the land because it was something that had always been important to me. A space where I found peace, beauty, recreation, spiritual connection. I proceeded through their young lives to take them into nature. To teach them to camp and hike, bike and ski, to canoe and pick up trash. This is one of many values we espouse in our family, and we lived it.

What have been the values that have been most important to you and the story/life you wanted to create? Do you know them off hand?

When I sit down with businesses and we start the discussion of values and value stories, we start exploring how this is actually taking place within the business. If you say that customer service is your priority, do you have any stories that show you and your team giving exceptional customer service? If you don’t, maybe that’s NOT really one of your values. The good news is, even if it’s not currently one, and you want it to be one, you can start today with this value in mind.

So, now, let me get to the meat of today’s discussion. What are your personal values? Have you ever taken the time to define 1,2,3, personal values that you want to base your life story around? Another angle could be—what do you want people to say about you at your funeral. Were you the one who was always making others laugh? Always comforting someone? Known for your honesty? Was hard work your mantra? What about joy, integrity, virtue?

Today’s discussion is to get you thinking. If you are going to plan your life story on purpose, you’ve got to have guiding principles; values that help you know what you stand...

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Episode 87 Interview with Jen Faber: How to Live More in 3 Months than you have in 3 Years

What does a successful life look and feel like to you? For everyone it’s going to be a little different. For Dr. Jen Faber, my guest today, she had built a six-figure wellness practice and was a thought leader in her industry, but despite all she had created in her professional life she felt like a version of herself was trapped inside and was screaming to break free. Jen had to redefine what a successful life meant to her. She took a hard look at the fact that a good life for her was about doing what made her happy, living in a thrive mode and feeling alive every day. So, she made changes…she sold everything she owned and became a digital nomad. Stay tuned as we get a peek into someone who has taken the refrain we so often talk about – of creating your life on purpose – and let’s watch how she did it.

Dr. Jen Faber is a lifestyle entrepreneur and author of “The 90 Day Life: How to Live More in 3 Months than you have in 3 years.” Her purpose is to empower people to break away from burnout to living the life of their dreams. For the past 15 years, Dr. Jen has focused on the fields of health and wellness, neuroscience, psychology, and motivation. She was awarded the Hilldale Research Fellowship in Social Psychology and was a teaching assistant in Experimental Psychology. She received her doctorate of Chiropractic in 2006. She worked in Morocco, New Zealand and then returned to the US and transitioned to coaching.

Tune into the podcast for the interview with Jen Faber and almost a full hour of how to create your life on purpose.

One of the main mantras of Love Your Story is the control we each have, that YOU have to create your own life story on purpose. Sometimes that’s just cleaning up your past stories so you can create the future you want. Sometimes that’s making small changes that add more connection or peace to your everyday life, sometimes that might look like a major overhaul like Dr. Jen shared with us on her life path. Whatever it is for you – please accept that YOU have the right, responsibility, and power to create your life on purpose. Does it take courage to make changes – sometimes A LOT. Does it take vision – a burning vision! Does it take vulnerability and a willingness for some adventure – YOU BET! But you only live once. What story will you create? What story will your life tell?

There was a poem I used to have on my wall years ago:

http://www.simplybeing.org.uk/index.php/poetry/78-if-i-had-my-life-to-live-over-by-nadine-stair (If I Had My Life to Live Over by Nadine Stair) If I had my life to live over,

I’d dare to make more mistakes next time.

I’d relax, I would limber up.

I would be sillier than I have been this trip.

I would take fewer things seriously.

I would take more chances.

I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers.

I would eat more ice cream and less beans.

I would perhaps have more actual troubles,

but I’d Have fewer imaginary ones.

You see, I am one of those people who has lived sensibly and sanely,

hour after hour, day after day.

Oh, I’ve had my moments, and if I had to do it over again,

I’d have more of them.

In fact, I’d try to have nothing else.

Just moments,

one after another,

instead of living so many years ahead of each day.

I’ve been one of those people who never goes anywhere

without a thermometer, a hot water bottle,

a raincoat and a parachute.

If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have.

If i had my life to live over,

I would start bare foot earlier in the spring

and stay that way later in the fall.

I would go to more dances.

I would ride more merry-go-rounds.

I would pick more daises.

Create your best life on purpose people! Whatever that means to you. Love Your Story is here to remind you and empower you to live and...

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Episode 86 Interview with Jennifer Anderson – Chief Inspiration Officer

Welcome to the Love Your Story Podcast, Episode 86. Have you ever woken up at approximately 3:00 a.m. in the morning? It’s weird. For years I would wake up between [3:00]- 4:00 a.m. and often at exactly the same minute regardless of when I went to bed. This went on for so long that I started to think it was some sort of weird sign, but then I was listening to Wayne Dyer who talked about waking up at 3:00 a.m. and how he felt great inspiration at that time – how he would write so much of his acclaimed work during those early morning hours. Then one day, Jennifer Anderson stood up and announced that she had created a journal called 3:00 a.m. with God, specifically for recording the thoughts and inspirations that she feels so distinctly during this all too common phenomenon of waking up at 3:00 a.m.

Jennifer Anderson is well established in her career as a national and international consultant. She is a strategist that helps companies retain their top talent and she is a sought-after speaker about career management. She has made guest appearances on KSL News, The Matt Townsend Show, various podcasts and the Deseret News. She is published in Forbes and ranked as a “Top 40 to Follow” on Twitter.

Listen in for the actual interview where we talk about how to recognize inspiration and the story of how and why she created the 3 a.m. with God Journal

If you’re one of those 3:00 a.m. risers – this may be just the ticket for capturing those fleeting nighttime thoughts, inspirations, and dreams.

Leave comments on the website – and if you’d leave a review on iTunes I’d sure appreciate it. Share the love people. Share this podcast with a friend! See you next week.

To contact Jennifer or get a journal:

facebook.com/3amwithgod

instagram.com/3amwithgod

jen@3amwithgod.com

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Episode 85 Interview Dr. Brenda Kelleher Flight: Life is a Reflection of Thought Has your life turned out as you expected? Do you ever feel like things are totally out of your control? Are you overwhelmed, stuck and ready to get your life back?….so starts the paragraph on Dr. Brenda’s home page. And since that very first question she poses is the exact same question as the one I posed on my pre-dissertation research study, you can imagine that I wanted to hear what she had to say about “Has your life turned out as you expected.”

Brenda is the author of Time to Forgive and Forget, a certified professional coach, and a qualified mediator. She is known for helping individuals and teams create their story and focus on what they want. There are no mistakes in her world; there are only MIS takes. This means we can learn forward and do another take achieving the results we desire. Stay tuned for my interview with Dr. Brenda Kelleher-Flight and our discussion on how the stories inside our head are creating our reality and the people we attract, and her thoughts on the idea of Point of Poise.

For more information on Brenda Kelleher-Flight

http://www.gdpconsulting.ca/ (www.gdpconsulting.ca);

facebook.com/Brenda–Kelleher-Flight-GDP-Consulting-Inc-122455991132103/

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Healing Our Stories Healing is a cyclical event. We don’t do it once. We do it over and over. As I ponder on this topic I think about all the people I have interviewed – people who have lost children to hiking accidents, car accidents, suicide. People who have lost spouses and parents to murder and suicide. A woman with an eating disorder and a man whose father tried to kill him as a child in order to prove himself a prophet in God’s eyes. This is just the tip of the iceberg. The stories are raw, powerful, and illustrate people who found ways to stand up, heal, and move on to make the world better, to make their own lives better, and to rise from the ashes of pain, loss, betrayal and self-loathing. Today’s conversation is about healing, because it’s a part of every story, and the alternative is to suffer.

The things we must heal from are myriad. What affects each of us and how it affects us is very personal–that personal hero’s journey. And the beauty of that is the utter brilliance of it.

WE EACH HAVE A PERSONAL JOURNEY THAT SPECIFICALLY PLAYS OUT ACCORDING TO THE THINGS WE INDIVIDUALLY NEED TO LEARN. I THINK THE STRONGEST HEROES HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE TOUGHEST JOURNEYS. So, if yours is feeling pretty beat up right now – take heart – and badass up! You’re one of the superheroes.

Oprah Winfrey said, “Like me, you might have experienced things that caused you to deem yourself unworthy. I know for sure that healing the wounds of the past is one of the biggest and most worthwhile challenges of life. It’s important to know when and how you were programmed, so you can change the program. And doing so is your responsibility, no one else’s. There is one irrefutable law of the universe: We are each responsible for our own life.”

Let me tell you a story. In 2016 when I started my emotional intelligence training I didn’t really know how to get past where I was. I felt stuck. I knew I didn’t trust men, but I wasn’t really sure how to get around that. Fact was fact. And then, thank God, I started a journey of healing. It involved some crying, some screaming, some vulnerable emotional exposure, it involved telling my stories and reframing them away from victimhood into learning. It involved people who guided me, mentors and heralds. It involved my shadow self and my hero self.

I arrived in Columbus, Ohio with my friend Anisa. My herald Sally had told me I needed to go to this conference, and being the ever so obedient friend we bought tickets and figured if it sucked we’d just go and have a great weekend in some place we’d never been. We got to our hotel room and the next three days pushed my buttons. One of the first exercises we did was to arbitrarily find a partner – a buddy, and sit across from them. You had to look them in the eyes. You didn’t have to say anything, in fact, you weren’t supposed to. We were instructed to simply maintain eye contact. This was someone I did not know, had never spoken to, and it was a man. As we sat across from one another staring into one another’s eyes and holding hands, tears started to roll down my cheeks. I was so embarrassed. There I was staring into the eyes of some man I didn’t know, and I couldn’t stop myself from crying. Wow! I thought. I’m in for a ride. But, I really wanted to figure this out – figure out what was holding me back, figure out how to heal, so I kept at it. The leader of the workshop pissed me off because he was so arrogant and disrespectful to the students, but I stayed and bit my tongue because I wanted to move forward and instinctually I knew something was going to happen here. I didn’t know how this was going to work, or what was going to happen, but I knew I was where I needed to be. So, when the workshop leader tried to kick me out because my hand wasn’t raised high enough, I bit my tongue and raised my hand higher. My coach was incredibly tolerant, loving, but tough with me as I questioned everything, challenged everything, and cried more. This was the...

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Episode 83 Interview Wendy Garrett – Life is Tough, but I’m Tougher

Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast, episode 83 where I’m talking with Wendy Garrett.

When one has a paralyzed limb it’s unlikely that you’ll see them running, but it’s even less likely that you’ll see them running a marathon, but even less likely than that is that they will be competing in the major world marathons, but that’s the story we get to hear today. Stay tuned to find out about Wendy’s accident, the long process to discovering why she couldn’t use her leg, and the way it has become possible for her to get the support she needs to walk and run on her own.

From the age of 6 to her retirement at age 23 Wendy Garrett was a competitive gymnast. She attended Utah State University where she got her degree in Sports and Exercise Science, and after her retirement from gymnastics, she began running as a way to stay active. For her, this was ½ marathon and marathons and she became a full-time gymnastics coach which took her to San Diego, to Austin, Texas, and to beautiful Bermuda. This was where the motor accident happened that took the use of her left leg.

Listen to the podcast to hear Wendy tell her story about the accident, how she was finally diagnosed, and the way she found herself living her dream of running six world major marathons and traveling around the world.

She discusses having patience for God’s timing and how he can create for us something that is more beautiful than what we can create for ourselves.

To follow her: Instagram: wendygbird22

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Hearing From Those Inside the 21-Day Challenge

The 21-Day Challenge launched in January and I wanted to give you a peek into what the challenge has been creating for those who have jumped on the bandwagon and accepted the challenge.

Today’s episode contains stories from four of the 21-Day Challenge participants so you can hear about some of the challenges, you can hear what the participants think of the challenges, and you can get a feel for the type of experiences being generated. I hope you’ll enjoy the stories they shared…I know I did.

And I’d love to have you join us on the inside and start creating these powerful experiences in your own life. Join the 21-Day Challenge by going to the website and signing up:

www.loveyourstorypodcast.com

Fantastic bargain at only $39 and worth so much more! Create possibility, connection, and peace in your own life story!

See you on the inside….

Thanks to all participants who shared their experiences.

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Relative Race: Interview with the host Dan Debenham -Reality TV Helping People Find Family Today I’m sitting at Roots Tech, the genealogy tradeshow at the Salt Palace in the capital of Utah, Salt Lake City. Dan Debenham, the host of the popular and highly acclaimed reality TV show Relative Race, and I, are sitting inside a bright lime green car, used by one of the teams in the reality show. We are sitting in here as a type of sound booth, so we can talk about the show, get the stories of the family members found, of the season highlights, and hear about people finding the characters in their stories that they didn’t even know were a part of their stories.

Tune in to this week’s podcast for our discussion and see the links below to watch past episodes or follow Relative Race.

@RelativeRace

https://www.byutv.org/relativerace

https://www.byutv.org/player/d294ba93-f5d4-4420-8953-77d974e34470/relative-race-season-3-episode-1

https://www.byutv.org/relativerace

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Interview with Diane Butterfield – Part 2

You Can’t Choose What Happens to You, But You Can Choose How You Respond

Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. Today is episode 80, which ends a 2-part series of interviews with Diane Butterfield. I’ve given this story 2 episodes because it’s long, it’s intense, and around every corner, there is another twist to the plot, another funeral, another dragon to be slain. If you’ve ever thought life was not fair, well…you’re in good company with today’s interviewee… If you’re just joining us, go back and listen to episode 79 first so you can get the first part of the story.

On her fridge, there’s a sign that says, “Fair is something you go to in the fall.” But one thing Diane is clear about is that while she is not in charge of what happens to her she is totally in charge of how she gets to act and react. In today’s episode we deal with suicide and finding your way forward when you find half your family in the cemetary. Stayed tuned for the rest of the story.

Tune into this series for her story of infertility, job loss, tragic car accidents and the loss of her children and her husband. But you’ll also hear about tender mercies, miracles, hope and perseverance that inspires.

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Interview with Diane Butterfield – Part 1

You Can’t Choose What Happens to You, But You Can Choose How You Respond

Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. Today is episode 79, which starts a 2-part series of interviews with Diane Butterfield. I’ve given this story 2 episodes because it’s long, it’s intense, and around every corner, there is another twist to the plot, another funeral, another dragon to be slain. If you’ve ever thought life was not fair, well…you’re in good company with today’s interviewee…

Tune into the podcast for her story of infertility, job loss, tragic car accidents and the loss of her children. But you’ll also hear about tender mercies and perseverance that inspires.

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Episode 78: Interview with Ganel-Lyn Condie

One of the things that I believe that we run up against in this day in age is the issue of self-condemnation, comparison, expectations, – we live in a cultural space of doing it all; a social media space of seeing it all – all the great vacations, all the great relationship tributes, all the perfectly prepared meals and nicely decorated homes, the business accolades of associates and friends, the award banquets and the celebrations – all wonderful things, but of course, only part of the story. We should earn good money, we should be good parents, we should create good in the world by starting a non-profit that will save the starving orphans in Africa and stop the sex trade. And, don’t forget, you should look hip, thin, and extremely put together while doing it. There are moral and ethical realms that we should be topping out on, and of course, everyone else seems to be pulling it off in a sense of knowing and purpose.

I’m always talking about how life is Messy – I have a whole podcast episode on this – episode 8 – Life is Messy and that’s Okay; so when I hear speakers or read books with the message that WE ARE ALREADY OKAY AND DOING GREAT, when I find messages that allow for our realness and our learning and our self-acceptance and self-love as our story unfolds it strikes a cord. It feels good. I eat it up.

Ganel-Lyn Condie has a talk out on CD called You Are Already Walking on Water, and a new book coming out called You Are More Than Enough, if that’s all I knew about Ganel-Lyn I’d definitely want to talk to her, but she was also the Managing Editor at Wasatch Woman magazine when I wrote for them, so we’ve got some background. I’ll let Ganel-Lyn tell you how she got from there to being the author of 7 books, becoming a popular motivational speaker known for inspiring others with her unique honesty, authenticity and spirit,.and we’ll get into a discussion on TIMING, on KNOWING YOU ARE ENOUGH, and ultimately on TRUSTING THE PROCESS.

Tune in to my interview with Ganel-Lyn.

Find her work and more information on her on the following links:

www.ganellyn.com

https://www.facebook.com/GanelLyn/

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Interview with Mark Asquith – Origin Stories: The past defining the future

Every story has a life, and every life has a story. Today on the Love Your Story podcast I bring to you Mark Asquith, from England, successful entrepreneur also known as the Hot Dog kid. Why do I bring this up – the incident with the hot dog? Because it’s a catalytic story in Mark’s life that made such an impact that over 20 years later it still helps him define what he wants, who he is, and who he isn’t. Stay tuned for my interview with Mark and find out how a sausage can shape your personal brand.

Mark Asquith, owner of Excellence Expected, Podcast Websites, and the 7-Minute Mentor podcast, is here today to share HIS story. I don’t want to give away too much, so I’ll let him tell it. From formative grade school experiences to successful business man and international speaker, I’ve asked Mark to share his story with my audience because it’s a prime example of the impact story can have in defining who we become and how we go about creating our lives.

Tune in to the podcast for Mark’s story.

Check him out at:

excellence-expected.com

podcastwebsites.com

Twitter: @Mrasquith

Facebook: www.facebook.com/mrasquith

LinkedIn: Mark Asquith

Instagram: mrasquith

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Body Talk – Stories from the Inner Critic

Looking in the mirror has for many, become one of the most uncomfortable things we do. Uncomfortable because the minute we do the inner critic hammers away. It’s universal. You’re not alone. Criticizing the physical form we each inhabit is a rampant and pervasive story no matter where you live or who you are. Keep listening for a discussion on body talk, recrafting body stories, and why we’re all in this together.

Now, I love my body – it’s taken me up mountains, down mountains, across lakes, across deserts, down canyons, across dance floors, into incredible intimacy, and anywhere I directed it to go. It’s strong and healthy and with the exception of accidents that left me broken, it always has been strong and healthy. I’ve been blessed beyond measure. I’ve been able to see the world, loved ones, trees, scenic views and blooming flowers in all their colors, sunsets and sunrises, the depth in another person’s eyes, and all the amazing things we take for granted every day. I’ve been able to hug people I care about. I’ve been able to feel the music and let my body respond, I’ve been able to hear people express ideas, teach, complain. I’ve heard dogs bark, music play. I’ve been able to taste and enjoy delicious foods, and smell pine needles and Christmas candles, cookies and a steak on the BBQ. Confession: There have been times when I’ve been down enough that the idea of leaving this life was something I toyed with. But during one of those times of considering the viability of living, I realized that if I left I’d have to leave my body behind and I couldn’t bear to do that.

Now, that being said, I have a nice little entourage of body critiques that play over and over when I’m around a mirror. Lots of them have to do with aging, there’s one about weight, that my eyes are beady, or my forehead is too big, or my nose is too long, or … a bunch of stuff that I get to learn how to recognize as body assault chatter, and then remember that it’s the love and energy that we put out into the world, not the details of our wonderful bodies that determine our beauty and attractive natures.

One of the difficulties of changing our body-image mindsets is that living in a culture of body perfection expectation there will always be negative feedback – real or felt that comes at us. We have to become so full of acceptance and love of our own bodies that the negative societal feedback or expectation that gets flung around has less chance of sticking. I KNOW. Easier said than done, but we are discussing the whole picture here. Let me share a personal story about negative body image feedback.

When I was in 7th grade, a very formative age of social awareness and self-awareness, I had a geography teacher who thought he was a funny fellow and liked to tease the girls in the class that were his class favorites. He was the coach for the boys’ basketball team, and my friend and I were starters on the girls’ basketball team, so we often received the brunt of his jokes. He teased us daily, but one day, in front of all our peers, he told us we had elephant noses. He thought that was awesome fun, and proceeded to throw that out. “Hey elephant nose,” he’d yell across the classroom when he wanted our attention. We were little girls who hadn’t grown into all our features, but having an adult, in front of all the peers for whom we hoped to be extremely cool, disparage how we looked was embarrassing. Humiliating, really. I’ve never forgotten it. We’ve all probably got a...

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The Search for Annie Schmidt: Part 3

“Bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open because the world needs you open.” –Rebecca Campbell

On Wednesday, October 19th, 2016 Annie Schmidt, daughter of Jon Schmidt, famous for his piano playing in the Piano Guys, and Michelle Schmidt, was reported missing. Over the next month, hundreds of people and search dogs embarked on what became an ordeal that gained national attention as the search for her unfolded. This three-part series includes interviews with Annie’s mother -Michelle, the woman who found Annie’s body – Lydia Mcgranahan, and another participant who was key in helping to find Annie – Marty Newey. This series starts out introducing Annie and Lydia – the woman who found her, and we jump into the inspiration that brought a woman who had no idea who Annie was into the search in the Columbia River Gorge. The second installment takes us further into the search and the inspiration and weaving of events that took place as we talked about the experience with those who were there. And, this third and final episode takes us to when Annie’s body was found, to her funeral where Lydia hears Annie speak to her, and where finding Annie is also losing Annie.

Tune in for in-depth interviews as we uncover the miraculous events surrounding the discovery of Annie Schmidt in this three-part series.

Thanks to The Piano Guys for the use of their music in this episode. https://thepianoguys.com/

run4water

www.minaguli.com

www.facebook.com/MinaGuliWater/

“A Life Inspired Series: The Long Run with Mina Guli” — https://vimeo.com/214242697 (https://vimeo.com/214242697)

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INTERVIEW WITH ANNIE MACWILLIAMS

Today I interview a triple crown through-hiker – What’s a triple crown through-hiker? It’s someone who hikes the three longest trails in the United States – the Appalachian Trail (2165 miles), the Pacific Crest Trail (2650 miles), and the Continental Divide Trail (2800 miles).

Tune in to hear why she does it, a few of her adventures, and to get a peek inside the head of someone crazy enough to practically live on the trails that weave across the country.

For more information, or to contact Annie:

mac5attack@gmail.com

www.give5more.com

Instagram: little.endorphin.annie

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Interview: Access Fund National Conservation Team – Climbing the Nose of El Cap

The Access Fund is a non-profit committed to protecting climbing access and the integrity of America’s outdoor rock climbing areas. They face issues like loss of areas as private land is lost to development, or public land managers regulate the areas, or climbers overuse an area and degrade it. The Access Fund focuses on a couple areas.

Legal policy and advocacy for rock climbers.

Land acquisition and protection

Conservation and making sure the climber aren’t loving the crags to death

Risk management and working with land owner in overcoming liability lawsuits

Educating climbers on Leave No Trace

Helping organize local support at climbing areas

As you can imagine this is a herculean effort. One of the programs to help with this is the National Conservation Team. This year there are two young women who make up this team:

Annabelle McClure from Colorado: a 26-year-old biochemist

and

Andrea Hassler from Maryland: a 29-year-old who specializes in applied geography and connecting people with place.

Join me today for the interview with these two women and the story of their climbing expeditions on El Cap, one of the premier multi-day climbs in the world.

For more information on the Access Fund or to get in touch with the National Conservation Team:

ctnational@accessfund.org

www.accessfund.org

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Today we kick off a month of adventure interviews; stories with adventurers about their feats and stories.

Interview with the Higgenbotham brothers (twins)

The Higgenbotham twins are lifeguards from Southern California, endurance athletes, and surfers. Deciding, on a handshake, to undertake the adventure of a lifetime, the two brothers set out to prone paddleboard, using only their hands to propel them, from Alaska to Mexico, down the entire West coast of the United States – 2200 miles, in 2016. A feat never before done, the two experienced, cold, deprivation, broken boards, lost equipment, storms, the kindness of strangers, and moments where they made life affirming decisions. Join me for the live interview with the Higgenbothams after their completion of their trek, and to hear some of their stories.

For more information on the Higgenbothams and this trek you can check out their website:

www.northamericanpaddle.com

Otherwise, they say the best place to find them is “on the water.”

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The Stories We Tell Ourselves

When I was 10 years old my mom and dad went out for the evening and I was put in charge of babysitting my younger brothers and sister. There were 4 of us. It was dark outside and we were getting ready for bed when suddenly there was a knock on the front door. Who was it? There was no peephole and we looked back and forth at one another. We whispered little questions like “do you know who it is?” “was someone supposed to come over?” “what if it’s a murderer?” Our body language and big eyes perpetuated the story that there was something to be afraid of. I, the one in charge, also created fear with my own fear. Our little kid stories of being alone in a house after dark with the unknown on the other side of the door took over our young minds. We ran, all of us, into my bedroom and hid under the comforter on my bed. The four of us hunkered under the covers, eyes wide.

When the rap, rap, rap came on the door again…the fear escalated, but I felt someone needed to answer it. I was babysitting, so I felt it was my role to assign someone to answer the door. I pointed at my sister, and with a sweep of my finger I assigned her the task of answering the door. She shook her head no, and so I pulled out the threats…”You go answer the door or I’m going to punch you in the nose,” I demanded.

Her fear of what was behind the door was more powerful than her fear of me, but I had to follow through, so I pulled back my fist and punched her in the nose. She started bleeding and crying and the energy escalated to the next notch. Now there was blood AND fear, and yelling, but no one answered the door. The four of us lay there, under the covers, yelling at each other and refusing to budge until my parents came home and we could run into the safety of their arms.

There is a mechanism in our minds that creates gratitude, happiness, unhappiness, envy, joy or jealousy, fear or peace. Not many of us pay too much attention to this mechanism, despite the fact that it is working all the time, in everyone alive on this planet.

It is the stories we tell ourselves all day long, every day, about every interaction we have, about ourselves, about our friends, about our spouses, about the things that happen to us! By calling them stories I am not giving them a value of true or false, rather I am acknowledging that they are narrative interpretations we create about our experiences to make sense of our lives.

Ryan Clarkin, one of my favorite life coaches said, “The most powerful stories we’ll ever tell are those we tell to ourselves.”

I asked him to go into more detail about this topic, for this episode – here’s Ryan…

–To hear Ryan’s message, listen to the audio version of the podcast.

Let me share some examples of how we create stories:

You may have a story about how your boss and work environment is supportive and fun. The people you work with are your friends. While someone else in the office may have a story about how the receptionist is always dismissive, the work areas untidy, the boss too caught up in their own dealings to pay attention to them.

You may have a story about how your spouse is a lazy and a slob because after dinner he/she does not clean up their mess. Whereas someone else in that same situation may tell a story about a hard-working spouse who needs a little support and rest after a long day.

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Interview with Rob Holmes – Founder and Chief Strategist of GLP Films

How to Identify Your Next Great Story

Welcome back to the Love Your Story podcast! Today we are back in business interview land where we talk with professionals who have learned the true value of story in business, and they share their knowledge and ideas with us on how to use story in our professional spaces.

Today we get to talk with Rob Holmes – the Founder and Chief Strategist of GLP Films, the leading content marketing agency dedicated to authentic storytelling and digital content strategy within the travel and outdoor industry. Robs authentic approach to storytelling helps his clients identify and develop the best way to grow their business, and usually, that’s by helping them tell their story. He has a diverse background in multimedia production, conservation, marketing, and entrepreneurship. Rob has spearheaded partnerships with global travel brands including international and domestic tourism boards in Peru, Mexico, Chile, to name a few. He’s created partnerships with media publications like National Geographic and Travel and Leisure. Rob holds an MBA from the University of Washington in International Business, Marketing, and Environment Management.

So, with that introduction, stay tuned for my discussion with Rob about HOW TO IDENTIFY YOUR NEXT GREAT STORY.

Listen to the podcast to hear my discussion with Rob and get his tips for finding your next great story.

For more information on Rob Holmes and GLP Films:

Watch the full Mina Guli film: http://www.glpfilms.com/mina-film (www.glpfilms.com/mina-film)

Website: http://www.glpfilms.com/ (www.glpfilms.com)

Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/greenlivingproject (www.youtube.com/greenlivingproject)

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/glpfilms (www.facebook.com/glpfilms)

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/glpfilms (www.instagram.com/glpfilms)

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/glpfilms (www.twitter.com/glpfilms)

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Interview with Star Coulbrooke the Poet Laureate of Logan, Utah.

Our life stories are poetry in the making.

Poetry is story at its most distilled; story where every word matters; story rich in image and sound and power. Today I am excited to introduce Star Coulbrooke, Poet Laureate for the City of Logan, Utah, she is also the co-founder and coordinator of Helicon West, a bi-monthly open readings venue. She is published in literary magazines and anthologies, her poems are also available in chapbooks, notably Thin Spines of Memory and Walking the Bear. Star is also the director of the Utah State University Writing Center. Poetry is a genre that is close to my heart. I have written poetry since I was a child, so I’m especially excited to discuss how poetry and story align. Stay tuned for our interview with Star – a wisp of a woman with spiky red hair who has a story you won’t want to miss.

Stories are our lives in language. Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. I’m Lori Lee and I’m excited about for our future together of telling stories, evaluating our own stories, and lifting ourselves and others to greater places because of our control over our stories. This podcast is about empowerment and giving you, the listener, ideas to work with in making your stories work for you. The power of story serves you best when you know how to use it.

Listen to the podcast to get the details of the discussion with Star.

To contact Star Coulbrooke:

Star.coulbrooke@usu.edu

Send requests for the Poet Laureate to Diane Buist diane.buist@usu.edu the USU English Department media specialist. Or, to Joseph Anderson joseph.anderson@loganutah.org the Logan Library adult literature director. Or, Teresa HarrisTeresa.harris@loganutah.org –the Logan City recorder–for posting on the Facebook sites they maintain for the Logan City Poet Laureate.

Poets take language and weave it into a story that explores the dark corners, the emotional epiphanies, the roller coaster ride of living and dreaming, and the mundane. Poets weave truth, imaginings, blessings, and riots of color. They weave the raw, the vulnerable, the real, and then they sleep on it and start again in the living of their own stories and watching the world and the stories unfolding all around us.

David Carradine said, “If you can’t be the poet, be the poem.” Your challenge for this week is to live poetically or maybe find a moment to sit down and put some of your thoughts on paper. I find when I write and write, unedited, that I find poetry as I sift through the words. You are a poem. Your life story is a poetry all its own. You can write it out to make sense of it – very therapeutic, or you can just keep on living the richness, the simpleness, the greatness of each smile, each moment of gratitude, each brave moment of acceptance and daring, each small and poetic tear and tantrum, each day in your own way. Have fun creating your story this week. Share this podcast – subscribe, rate and review! Thanks for listening.

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Episode 51: A Political Story about the newly designated Bear’s Ears National Monument and those who are willing to fight for its survival.

For contact information for Utah senators, go to: http://senate.utah.gov/

When President Obama designated the Bears Ears National Monument he gave the following speech – The White House; Office of the Press Secretary.

December 28, 2016

Statement by the President on the Designation of Bears Ears National Monument and Gold Butte National Monument

Today, I am designating two new national monuments in the desert landscapes of southeastern Utah and southern Nevada to protect some of our country’s most important cultural treasures, including abundant rock art, archeological sites, and lands considered sacred by Native American tribes. Today’s actions will help protect this cultural legacy and will ensure that future generations are able to enjoy and appreciate these scenic and historic landscapes. Importantly, today I have also established a Bears Ears Commission to ensure that tribal expertise and traditional knowledge help inform the management of the Bears Ears National Monument and help us to best care for its remarkable national treasures.

Following years of public input and various proposals to protect both of these areas, including legislation and a proposal from tribal governments in and around Utah, these monuments will protect places that a wide range of stakeholders all agree are worthy of protection. We also have worked to ensure that tribes and local communities can continue to access and benefit from these lands for generations to come.

For the state of Utah this has caused great controversy between government officials, Utah citizens, visiting tourists, outdoor recreationalists and industry professionals, and Native American Tribes. Listen to the whole podcast for real interviews with those who took to the streets to declare their support for public lands in an attempt to get the Utah governor and other Utah government officials who are opposed to it, to understand that there are many people who want the designation to remain; people who support public lands and the beauty and history the designation protects for generations to come.

Creating our stories is something we do on a personal level. It’s also something we do on the big picture level. It’s those who dare to fight for the things they believe in, the heroes that stand up against the antagonists to create the world they believe should exist that determine how that world evolves. This podcast episode talks to some of those people who are out creating life stories backed by their ethics, principles, and sense of adventure.

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How to Reframe Your Difficult Stories: 5 Part Workshop Series: Step 5– The Final Reframe

At any given moment you have the power to say, “This is NOT how the story is going to end.” Join us today as we discuss the 5th and final step in reframing the chapters of your story that feel broken. Today we’ll put all the previous steps together to come to the final reframing of your story. Get ready to rewrite the broken chapters for good.

If you are just popping into this episode, I suggest you go back and listen to episodes 46 through 49 before moving onto this one. There are five steps in the process to reframing the chapters of your life that feel broken, or shameful, or you’re just not okay with them. This is the 5th and final step. The step where everything from the previous 4 steps is brought together to help you create your final reframing and advanced understanding of your story. So, if you haven’t you’ll want to listen to the previous 4 episodes, each one dedicated to one of the steps. Now for step #5 – the actual reframe

Reframing is looking at a story or event in our lives through a different frame of understanding: hence, the RE frame. Often we are very stuck in our own interpretation of our stories, despite the fact, as we discussed in step 4, that there are many ways to interpret a situation. We see things only as we see things and it’s a process to discover other options. When I was doing the work to reframe my stories, I could not see another way to interpret the things that had happened to me. It took another person to help me see what I couldn’t see on my own.

In 2010, in The Huffington Post, Lifestyle Blog, Racheal Freed posted a blog post titled “The Importance of Telling our Stories.” She tells a story from her life journey and why she feels it’s important to tell our stories. She also had a friend help with her reframe. (quick note – sometimes this in NOT a one person job because we are so stuck in our story. This is where you may need a coach or the right friend or a therapist)

Let me tell her story in her words:

“The first morning after arriving in Tunis, Oct. 1, 2010, my two sister travelers and I ventured deep into the Tunis Medina (an ancient walled city) to visit the home where I lived some 44 years ago. (At the time, my then-husband and I were New Peace Corps volunteers, and we “inherited” this palace of a 19th-century minister from Peace Corps architects who’d lived there during their service.)

In our first week in Tunisia, during September 1966, we made our way, with great naïveté and some trepidation, into the hills of the romantic blue and white Mediterranean coastal town to negotiate a lease for this house with its owner, a shrewd old patriarch. We were served tea, our new language skills were tested, and the rent was agreed upon — exactly what the old man asked for.

The house, traditionally built, was completely invisible from the street except for its tall, arched doorway and decorative door. Its rooms were designed on three sides of an interior courtyard. Its arched plaster ceilings, lavishly sculpted in plaster was hung with ornate crystal chandeliers, and the lower halves of the interior walls were encrusted with tiles set in colorful geometric patterns.

Its 30-square-foot, marble-paved courtyard had its own well; its walls were tile-decorated and its windows to the interior rooms protected and ornamented in painted metal grill work. This was a space made for entertaining and displaying its ancient Muslim architectural tradition!

Our

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How to Reframe Your Difficult Stories: 5 Part Workshop Series: Step 4– Changing Lenses

A farmer stood with his dog overlooking his fields. Behind them in the grasses peered a small brown rabbit, and above flew a lark. The farmer looked across the field and saw cows, milk, provisions for his family, a new car. The dog saw frustration because wild things could so easily hide and escape his chase. The rabbit saw security. To the lark flying overhead, the field was home.

While we may all be looking at the same thing, standing in the same story, the lenses we look through to interpret that story are vastly different for everyone. Join us today as we discuss the fourth step in reframing your story – understanding lenses, and being willing to swap them out every now and again.

Today we are on the 4th podcast episode in a 5-part series: The 5 Steps to Reframing a Difficult Life Story. Welcome to Step #4 – A discussion about the lenses you look through and how they determine what you see, and considering the lenses others look through as well. You’ve heard of putting on rose colored glasses, because it changes the way you see things, makes the world look a little brighter. The way you see the world is certainly affected by different tinted glasses. Well, today we are discussing first of all, the fact that we metaphorically wear lenses and that these lenses form how we interpret what goes on around us, and second of all understanding that we can swap lenses if we need to. Choose a lens, any lens, the lens you look through determines what you see, how you interpret, and often whether you are happy with the story you are creating, or the story you have lived. Understand this concept and you begin to realize that your story CAN change.

Like magic, we conjure our stories from the ether of thought. The stories we tell ourselves about ourselves form from numerous things, one of which is a set of criteria and lenses that we have adopted, usually as fact – right and wrong– from our culture and family, from our religion and the things expected of us because of our gender, our economic status, our social standing, our race, education or political beliefs, sexual experience, sexual preference, and moral codes. There are any number of these lenses that we each, individually look through when we engage in any situation. Picture if you will a pair of glasses with maybe a dozen lenses stacked on top of one other for us to look through. Everyone has a pair of these glasses that they are wearing. These are the lenses through which we see right and wrong, through which we judge our own stories, through which we judge the stories of others. Everyone around us is also wearing a set of these thick glasses, only a different set, with different lenses.

An example of a lens – Brock Dethier, in his book 21 Genres, points out that because of his age (older than draft age) and his education (University professor, so he has enough education to compare wars from history to current situations) BOTH OF THESE ARE LENSES – his education and his age, he is bound to think differently about war than perhaps an uneducated 19-year-old man.

Lynn Langer Meeks and Carol Jewkes Austin, in their book, Literacy in the Secondary English Classroom, call these lenses the “Cultural Eye.” These beliefs, or ways of seeing the world start solidifying themselves from the time we are children, learning and interpreting our world. It’s important to realize that we wear these lenses and that everyone around us...

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How to Reframe Your Difficult Stories: 5 Part Workshop Series: Step 3– Finding the Meaning or Purpose Behind an Experience

When Becky Andrews (episode 22) found out that she had a degenerative eye disease that would cause her to go blind, I’m sure she wondered, “Why me?.” When my son was diagnosed with Leukemia and had to return from his mission where he was teaching others about Christ’s love for them and serving them, a journey he had worked, waited, and saved money for, I wondered, “Why him? When Rusty Lindquist (episode 21) was living with his mother in a trailer, in the woods, with no electricity or running water as a child because she had to hide him from a father who was trying to sacrifice Rusty, like Abraham was asked to sacrifice Isaac, in order to prove to God that he was to be the next prophet; then one day his mother didn’t come back from work and he sat there all alone, day after day wondering what happened to her…these are not the moments when we see the meaning. These are the moments when the tornado hits and the pain rises and the rubber meets the road. But later there is a space where we must find the purpose, the meaning behind the experience in order to make peace with our path. Pain without purpose is just pain. Join us today for an in depth look at the third step of reframing our stories – Finding the meaning and purpose behind an experience.

A crucial step in being able to find peace in our most painful stories is the step of finding some purpose for them, some meaning, something that we can take away from the darkness, sacrifice, or pain that paved the path we walked.

The Buddha taught that all life is suffering, that suffering comes from holding on to selfish desires, and that selfish desires can be overcome. The Christian dogma indicates that God uses our suffering to refine and teach us. If you Google suffering you will find that almost all results lead you to some religious reference, which to me indicates that when it comes to our suffering we turn outside ourselves to find answers. We want help. We want to find a peace in the storm, which is often what we turn to religion for. This is not uncommon, in fact, it’s completely common, hence the Google search results. When we go through the chapters of our stories where we battle the dragons, the antagonists, the sorrows and disappointments we desperately want to believe that there can be something good to come from it. We hope against hope looking for answers and asking the questions…why?

Joan Borysenko said, “We cannot wish old feelings away nor do spiritual exercises for overcoming them until we have woven a healing story that transforms our previous life’s experience and gives meaning to whatever pain we have endured.”

Philip Zimbardo, one of the most respected psychologists of the twentieth century, and past president of the American Psychological Association taught at Yale and Stanford and authored over 50 books. He was born in 1934. When he was 5 years old he got whopping cough and pneumonia. Steve Kotler, in his book The Rise of Superman, retells Zimbardo’s story pointing out that “In those days before antibiotics 63 percent of all children with whooping cough or double pneumonia did not recover. A friend Zimbardo made, as a little boy in the hospital, died there, next to him, and Zimbardo found that the only way to fight off the depression and fear of the situation was to use his imagination – he just kept imagining better possible futures. Today we call this visualizing –...

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How to Reframe Your Difficult Stories 5-Part Workshop Series: Step 2 – Tell Your Stories

Those stories hidden in the dark of night, kept under cover, the lid closely guarded and locked, cannot breathe or break free from shame, guilt or sadness that are a part of their very nature. Until the lid is opened, until the light can shine down upon the dark shadows, to chase them out and loosen the ties that hold the story closed, there will be no healing. Join us today for Step 2 of the 5 part reframing process. Tell Your Stories!

So, here we are in week two of our five-week series. I hope your work with the acceptance of your stories has been productive this past week. Moving onto step two this week, we come to the point of TELLING OUR STORY. It’s time to say it out loud. To put it into words. Before some of you start hyperventilating with the idea of this type of exposure and vulnerability, this does not mean you should run out and post your most shame filled or difficult stories on Facebook, or announcing them in the city square. It means coming to a point of claiming them, where you can put into words your stories, in a safe space. A space where you are able to put words to even your deeply disturbing stories that have remained silent, in one way or another.

Becky Andrews, a therapist at Resilience Inc, a guest we’ve had speak on the podcast, episode 022, explained to me, telling our stories is invaluable, we must talk and share our stories, she said. We know that studies indicate that talk therapy – thus sharing our stories, actually lessen the intensity and stress in our brain.

So, I asked a woman who had done the Next Level emotional intelligence leadership workshop about her experiences in telling her stories.

Jamie said, “There was one experience in particular where I had already had my turn to speak, but I had a very clear realization while listening to the rest of my group take their turn. I knew without a doubt that I needed to say it out loud to my group. I was able to share and while sharing, the pain and heartache that had started with one experience so many years ago, left me. It was so freeing. I obviously still have the memory, but it does not have the same effect or hold over me that it used to. The other thing about this experience that was interesting was that there were so many other experiences in my life where other people treated me in a similar way as the person did in this initial experience. These experiences just piled up on each other over the years leaving me feeling unimportant and unloved. By sharing this initial experience, the pain from these other events in my life left as well. It was amazing! It was huge for me.”

She went on, “Another experience was an exercise where you were forced to just keep talking while you really got to the bottom of things. This gave me the opportunity to finally say out loud how I feel about my mothering. It has been tough dealing with my son’s Aspergers, ADHD, and mood disorder. I experienced shame and heartache over how I had handled different situations in weakness, and heartache over the situation as a whole. Saying it out loud to a male that was there representing my son was cleansing. Saying it out loud is a necessary step to healing and moving on,” she finished.

Often times the thing we will gain from telling our story, from putting it into words, is not something we will fully understand until it is done. Perhaps it is like Jamie, where saying it out loud, giving it voice releases all the...

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REFRAME YOUR DIFFICULT STORIES – 5-Part Workshop Series

Do you want to be free of the stories in your life that make you feel small or that you find shame or guilt around? These stories often affect our self-perception and thus our interpreted self-worth. This workshop is to help you reframe and resee your life in healthier ways.

Workshop Step #1 – Accept It

Debbie Ford said, “The greatest act of courage is to be and own all that you are. Without apology, without excuses, and without one’s masks to cover the truth of who you really are.”

Stay with us today as we launch into the 5-week Series outlining the 5 steps to reframing your story. Today we will discuss the first of the five steps that take you through the process of reframing your stories for a new space of freedom, peace and a new appreciation and love for your own story. This process is not always easy. In fact, if you are truly doing it correctly it could prove to be a painful process, but make no mistake, it is worth every brave step to dig deep and do the work to love your story, which leads to a fuller acceptance and love of yourself. And what is more important than that foundation?

As I was finishing up my masters degree and my research on the personal narrative, and considering where I wanted to go with my doctorate work, I found that I wanted to further my work with personal narrative in an effort to make sense of my own life story, for which I did not feel complete comfort. There were spaces of shame, of disappointment and of failure that I wore on my back, everyday.

I designed a research plan before I was even finished with my MS work and jumped into the research by interviewing women to discern if their life stories had turned out as THEY expected. It turned out that out of the 20 women who agreed to be part of the research project, only one of them said her life had turned out as planned. These women were diverse. They had different belief systems, they came from different parts of the country, they were different ages, had different careers, different marital statuses, etc. As I became privy to their stories I felt less alone, but I also realized that there was powerful work to be done in how we view our life experiences. After graduating with my MS degree I went into a space of consideration – where would I go from here? Would I pursue my Ph.D. and the Love Your Story research? Would I start consulting with businesses on how to use story? What would I do next? As fate would have it, I began an emotional intelligence leadership conference that lasted the entire next year as I went through one program after another. At each step, I learned more about the stories we tell ourselves, about how to reframe, about how to let go, and about how to live big. I worked with personal coaches and I eventually coached others. It became clear that what I wanted to do with my writing, my research, and my tools and understanding of story was to share them and empower as many people as were ready to stand up and love their story. People, who like me, were ready to embrace the tools and take the action for coming to a place of increased peace with their own powerful, disjointed tales.

Brene Brown said, in her book Rising Strong, “So much of what we hear today about courage is inflated and empty rhetoric that camouflages personal fears about one’s likability, ratings, and ability to maintain a level of comfort and status. We need more people who are willing to demonstrate what it looks like to risk and endure...

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Interview with the Kjars (pronounced Cares) 50 by 52

The Kjar family sold their home, bought a motorhome, and took their four kids on the road for a year of seeing the country, meeting other kids their age in different parts of the country and shadowing their lives for a day, and learning how to live in cramped spaces for extended periods of time.

Join us for today’s interview with Matt and Lindsay as we catch up with them on the road to hear how things are going and what wonderful stories and adventures they have created already.

If you want to follow them:

Website: http://50by52.com/ (50by52.com)

YouTube: 50 by 52 https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCZOrNZGr0hXDC_HROgo_2XQ (https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCZOrNZGr0hXDC_HROgo_2XQ)

Instagram: @50by52 https://www.instagram.com/50by52/ (https://www.instagram.com/50by52/)

Facebook: 50by52 in your shoes https://m.facebook.com/50by52InYourShoes/ (https://m.facebook.com/50by52InYourShoes/)

Twitter: @50by52 https://mobile.twitter.com/50by52/status/884540429437370369?refsrc=email (https://mobile.twitter.com/50by52/status/884540429437370369?refsrc=email)

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Dominos – Ripples – Butterfly Effect: You make a Difference

Have you ever felt small or insignificant, maybe even powerless? In our big world where media gives us access to the vast happenings across the globe we come to realize the scope of the world, the overwhelming nature of the trauma and catastrophes across the globe, and all too often that bigness creates in us a sense of smallness; a sense of overwhelm and insignificance. Once we feel powerless, that our efforts will make no difference, we become passive passengers on this rock we call a planet. We hope for the best, but feel too small to instigate change. When we get to that place we have essentially stopped believing that we matter. Today I want to remind why this is untrue. Stay tuned for the small and simple things that change the world.

You’ve pushed the first domino in a string of set up dominoes and watched one fall into the next, and the next, and the next as the domino structure unfolds. You’ve thrown a rock in a pond and watched the ripples start small and get bigger and bigger until they cover the pond, or watched a fish break the surface of the water sending ripples out to the shore. You’ve heard of the ‘butterfly effect’ which posits that the flap of a butterfly wing on one side of the world generates the air movement that eventually culminates in a storm on the other side of the world. All of these are an illustration of how one action sets in motion other actions, that continue to set off additional actions. And we do this a hundred times every day…

There are thousands of reasons that each of us matter. They begin in the intrinsic value of being alive and that alone means we must be significant…to the butterfly effect and how even our smallest actions create responses, affect lives, change the world in ways we can’t fully understand. If you’ve had a child you’ve changed the world. If you’ve loved someone you’ve had impact. If you’ve hurt someone you’ve pushed a domino. If you’ve shared or forgiven or learned something you have created some type of ripple. In a way, it seems like a silly thing to talk about because everything we do and don’t do affects the people and the world around us, in ways we can sometimes see and often in ways we cannot. It’s so obvious, but at the same time, maybe it’s not so obvious, so it merits a fifteen-minute conversation about how much we each matter in the world.

Despite this tremendous influence and significance of each person, one of the most struggled with concepts, across the board, is that of self-worth. The one ghost that I have seen, as I’ve been privy to people’s deepest self-work, is that even the most successful of us, at our deepest core of things that hold us back, struggle with feelings of self-doubt and our own handful of insecurities about being enough—whether it’s physically, mentally, even spiritually. Self-doubt, in one way or another, is a killer of dreams and joy.

It’s kind of crazy when you break it down. Cultural values that say odd things like – you matter if you’re a movie star, you matter if you’re a sports star, you matter if you make a lot of money…when you actually step back and evaluate the absurdness of those ideas and how heavily they are bought into, it’s disturbing. In Scientific American and Huffington Post in 2012 both ran articles on research that pre-teens put the value of being famous as their number one goal, overshadowing financial success, love, and community. American Idol, You Tube, followers on social media, the obsession with

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Interview with Margaret Meloni MBA, PMP

Margaret is a speaker, writer, and teacher who supports project managers with the art and science of project management.

Margaret understands that managing projects can be difficult and this is why her goal is to provide her community with knowledge and skills that can be used on the job RIGHT NOW! Her wish is to see her students take on tough projects and emerge as strong and sought after project managers.

Margaret is a recipient of the University of California Los Angeles (UCLA) Distinguished Instructor Award and a contributing author to the book 101Great Ways to Enhance Your Career where she addressed the topic of conflict resolution. She has also been called upon to contribute to articles in PM Network®, the monthly magazine covering trends, tools and best practices in project management

When she is not teaching, Margaret works to help project managers and other professionals resolve work related conflict and strengthen their soft skills. Her passion is to help people successfully navigate the workplace peacefully.

For more information on Margaret Meloni: http://www.margaretmeloni.com/ (www.MargaretMeloni.com) or http://www.pmstudent.com/ (www.pmstudent.com) and join her community today. You can also find her on Twitter at @margaretmeloni or @pmStudent

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Persistence – the simple key to success

I started sending my writing out for publication or sending out queries, while I was still in college: little blurbs on backpacking food and political rock climbing issues. I was willing to write for free.

I look at the then and the now, and the one thing I know for certain is that the primary reason I am well published is because of persistence. Because, month after month, year after year, decade after decade I keep writing and I keep sharing, and after 20 odd years the successes add up. But if I’d gotten tired of it and given up after five years, or six years, or ten years, that would have garnered a different outcome. Now, I’m not suggesting that I have fabulous powers of persistent perseverance, because the truth is, writers always write because it’s inherent to who they are. We just keep writing because that’s what we feel like doing, but the lesson, the clarity this brings to me in hindsight, and that I bring to you, is that any time you can just keep going, you will get there. Whatever the reason you keep going–maybe it’s because you are doggedly determined and disciplined, maybe it’s because you are simply compelled to keep on keeping on, like I was, or more likely there is some other “why” that moves you forward, but consistent persistent forward movement, WILL get you there. There is just simply something to be said for not giving up. One step after another will eventually get you to the top of the mountain. That’s a fact. Today’s episode is about the rewards of downright dogged persistence. The key to the door of success.

Calvin Coolidge said, “Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not: unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”

What is persistence? It’s starting, it’s continuing even when it gets hard, it is the courage to keep trying after you’ve faced defeat or exhaustion. It’s continued forward movement even when the payoff is not in sight. It takes focus and vision to carry on, day after day with any task or plan from which immediate rewards are not garnered. Persistence is not a trait found in the weak because it’s not easy, therefore not everyone persists. But, it is the foundation of accomplishment. It’s the key that often separates the ones who make it to the top, and those who do not.

Let me share a story that I like to call One Grand Night – it contains some grand vistas, a grand sunrise, and some grand pain.

Most mountaineers follow a protocol involving permits, backpacks with carefully selected gear, and physical preparation before climbing a mountain. Not us. It is our year to summit The Grand, the tallest peak of the Grand Teton Range in Wyoming, and after too many near cancellations of the trip because of logistics, Chad calls and says, “Let’s leave now, we’ll climb all night and summit at sunrise. We won’t even need a permit if we can do it without camping.” And so we do.

It is eleven p.m. by the time we arrive at the trailhead, 5 hours away,–Lupine Meadows parking lot. The lot is filled with cars, SUV’s, trucks, and vans, the moon reflecting off the dark metal bodies lined like waiting soldiers for their hikers to return. It is high season in the Tetons and climbers must wait in line for a backcountry camping permit on the way up any one of the peaks: The Grand Teton, the...

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Welcome back to the Love Your Story interview land. A couple quick announcements before we get started – I wanted to let you know that there is a new free mini-e-book available on the Love Your Story podcast website. It’s called The 5 Steps to Reframing the parts of your story that Feel Broken. Just give us your email and we’ll send it to your inbox.

Now, let me tell you who we’re talking with today. This man is something else.

From Arizona, Rick Lewis is a speaker, author, entertainer, professional misbehaver – yes, misbehaver, and confidence coach. He started as a child actor, and street performer, using humor, comedy, and theater to overcome his fears. From this, he has become a sought-after speaker, author, and trainer who has appeared before more than 400 organizations in the last 20 years. Rick’s book, 7 Rules You Were Born to Break, is a celebrated business book that uses stories to inspire growth and his coming book, Confident Under Stress, is again a collection of stories from Rick’s own professional journey about responding to life’s opportunities and challenges with confidence and courage. Stay with us and hear some of his stories and his thoughts on how our reactions to current situations are our old stories pasted on the present.

Interview with Rick Lewis

There are two primary reasons I think this idea of reaction and action are so powerful. The first is that when we act we are in charge. When we react, our past is in charge. Usually, reactions are unfair and cause things in the present to go badly. This makes it a very important thing to understand so we can act as we choose in the current situation, creating love instead of more of whatever we are dragging behind us. You know, those things we call “hot buttons.” The second reason is that in order to reframe our stories we have to learn how to step away from the stories of the past as something set in stone.

Wayne Dyer, a man revered for his spiritual and mindfulness work, said “One of the greatest lessons of my own life was learning to turn the inner rampage of hatred and anger toward my own father for his reprehensible behavior and abandonment of his family into an inner reaction more closely aligned with God and God-realized love.”

Wayne is specifically talking about taking one of his life stories and learning to reframe his reaction from hatred to love. This is an important key to many of our most difficult stories.

For more information on Rick Lewis:

www.ricklewis.co

www.facebook.com/ricklewisco;

Rick’s books include: 7 Rules You Were Born to Break

Coming soon: Confident Under Pressure

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A Facebook Post About How To Create Your Dreams

There are moments in our lives when someone succinctly verbalizes our beliefs and understanding in a clear and perfect fashion, and we say “Yes! That is exactly what I have come to know,” or “Yes, that is exactly what I think.” This happened to me this week. My son is on an LDS mission where he is out serving others and teaching them about Christ. While he is doing this he has very limited contact with family. Once a week the missionaries get a chance to write home, but other than that they stay focused on their work. Recently, the LDS church allowed the missionaries to have Facebook pages where they post inspiring messages and thoughts. It’s a real treat when I’m on Facebook and something pops up from my son, but today was especially interesting because his words were the exact encapsulation of everything I had been working on over the last year. Let me share them and then I’ll tell you my story. Stay tuned for the rest of the tale…

Here is his post:

“A thought I had recently was that if we allow them, dreams can be so much more than just happy thoughts and wishful thinking. They can be more than pleasant imaginings left for a world more perfect than this. If we let it, the act of dreaming and then working with determination and courage can be one of the most powerful demonstrations of faith possible to man. As we team up with the Lord and “do many things of [our] own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness” (D&C [58:27]) then, by the grace of God, will we be able to develop the competency and ability we need to steadily overcome the obstacles we find that are placed in our way. As we grow to trust the promise that “all things are possible to him that believeth” (Mark [9:23]) the Lord will enable us according to the faith that we exercise in him, and we may achieve that which we have determined to be our goal. So dream big, work hard, trust much, and then enjoy watching the miracles come to pass.”

That’s the end of his post. When I read that my first thought was, “Yay! – I needed to read that today, all of my daily struggle put into such a clear and organized paragraph.” My second thought was, “I wondered if he really knew what that meant. I have been working on this for the last year, and I’m still working with it every day, how does he just suddenly have this thought and ‘bam’ there it all is.” Maybe I’m a little slower than my son, but let me share my journey – that I’m still on, by the way – of coming to understand and live this principle. And I share it, because it may serve as a model of how to make your dreams happen.

“Dreams can be more than just a wish or a happy thought” – When I was in my early 20’s I had a conversation with God. I wanted three things more than anything in my life, and I felt like, in this particular conversation, that I’d been given the right to ask for them. The first was that I would have an extraordinary relationship and connection with the right man. That I’d have a husband who was my other half – the right fit. The right guy. The second was that my children would be watched over, protected and upheld. The third was that I would be able to use my talents, gifts, and abilities to give back to the world, to create something that would inspire and lift other people. In my mind, because I was/am a writer, I pictured that being an inspirational book that was successful in reaching a broad audience. That was it. Everything else I wanted, my career, my...

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Matt Garner, CEO of Longboard PR and a public speaker, specializes in helping people understand how to connect with their audience, and he’s a real fan of story.

5 Tips for How To Tell A Story– with Matthew Garner

Welcome back to Love Your Story interview land. Today I am bringing you Matthew Garner and he’s going to share his 5 tips for how to tell a story that impacts. Why does this apply to you? Well, no matter who you are every day you are telling stories. We use stories to help our kids, our friends, our employees understand what we need or want them to do. We use stories to make real connections with each other and share our experiences. We use stories when we present ourselves at work, church, or in social circles. Stories have soooo many functions in our lives – it’s how we share awe, how we share lessons we learned – both good and bad, it’s how we make sense of things that have happened to us, it’s how we let someone into our experiences and share our lives. Now, while story comes super naturally to everyone, and you’ve been telling stories your whole life, understanding how to tell them effectively makes you more effective and powerful in your communication. Stay Tuned.

If you are a leader of a family, or a manager or leader at work, you need mad story skills. Story is the genre that everyone understands – you get a much better response when you share an idea or an expectation through a story that illustrates the example, rather than an explanation or a demand. Try it. But first, we’ll get a few tips from Matt so that you can rock it!

Matt Garner is from Longboard PR. He is a retired US Army Lieutenant Colonel who started his PR company when he retired. His company helps companies and individuals increase their business by helping them understand their audience and how to send the message most effectively to that audience. Matt is a master storyteller, speaker and trainer, and he’s here to share his Wisdom.

To contact Matt:

(801) 786-9383

matt@longboardpr.com

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You Must Be Present to Win – Sensual Living

May Swenson said, “Not to be fully aroused to the potentialities of one’s senses means to walk the flat ground of appearances.” What this means is You Must Be Present to Win. Stay with us today for some thoughts on using your senses to bring the richness out of your story. The best and most interesting stories are full of rich detail. Not only is this an important technique in writing in order to take your reader where you want them to go and to help them recreate the scene in their own minds, it becomes an important part of living your own story – being fully present and aware within your own life, being in the present is required to take home the prize.

There is always the fine print on the bottom of the ticket that tells you that if you wander off before the drawing for the K2 skies, the facial, or the trip to Costa Rica, the loot will not fall into your hot little hands.

Years ago I had a large wooden sign – I mean big – it was six-feet long, and it read “You Must Be Present To Win.” I hung it proudly on my dining room wall. There were a variety of interpretations, but my reason for having it there was to remind me that every moment that my mind was not fully attentive to the present experience – the smell of my son as he sat on my lap so I could read him a book, the tightness of my arms paddling across Tony Grove lake in my canoe, the feel of the breeze across my skin as I speed down a mountain path on my bike, the brilliant intricacy of a flower when I look at it in detail – every time I let those details go unnoticed I lose. I lose the opportunity to take with me what that experience offers. I lose the opportunity to be most fully alive. I skim the waters of living instead of getting deep and real.

Our senses – sight, smell, touch, taste, hearing and I add intuition – these are the filters through which we get to interpret the world. Our senses help us connect with what surrounds us. There is a great deal of brain that is dedicated to our senses. This relationship between our senses and our brains is subjective – for example, it’s been proven that to some people cilantro tastes like a delicious herb, and to others it has a soapy flavor. The receptors in our taste buds work differently for different people, and though it’s only been in the last 30 years that scientists have figured out how smell works, it is scientifically proven that everyone smells things differently. Sight takes up a large portion of the brain, but what we see and how we see it is often influenced by our fears, our stories, our perspectives. Our senses are our link with the world around us. But when we go on auto-pilot, there is an awful lot that goes on that we miss because we aren’t paying attention. This is where the richness is found or lost. This is where you win or lose the prize.

A few months ago I was in a group coaching meeting where a woman confessed that her life was good, she wasn’t having any problems, except that because things were running smoothly she was bored and felt life didn’t hold very much for her at the moment. Dulled and complacent she was numb. There is definitely a space in life where we are so used to stimulation, that without chaos or something extraordinary to get our chemicals flowing life feels dull, uncolorful, muted. This is not the only time we have proof of not using our senses. It also happens when we are moving so fast that we can’t take time to notice what’s going on around us. These are the moments when we are losing

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Binge Eating Disorder – Interview with Courtney Zollinger

Courtney Zollinger is the author of the Snatching Sunshine blog. She began the blog to help others understand Binge Eating Disorder and to share her story in overcoming. Living in Rocklin, California Courtney is a wife and mother of a beautiful 2-year-old girl. Courtney has Bing eating disorder and has learned how to overcome. She wants to raise awareness of BED because it’s a common disorder that isn’t often discussed. On today’s podcast we hear her story, how she discovered what she had, and tools she found to help her get it under control.

You can find more of her story on www.snatchingsunshine.com and Snatching Sunshine on Pinterest.

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Tips and Techniques for Better Storytelling

I was speaking at a business event the other day and afterward someone said, “I’d love to have some tips that I could work on, so I can tell better stories. Do you have a newsletter you can send me?” I told him about the weekly inspirational thought that you can sign up for on the website – and I totally suggest you all do that – it’s great to get an inspiration thought with a call to action each week, right in your Inbox box. But, I started thinking about his request for story tips – because that’s not what comes in the weekly inspiration.

Why not do a whole podcast on story tips? I thought. So, here it is – our first set of story-telling tips. Stay tuned for some tips and techniques for making your stories super effective – powerhouse stories – remember what we say—Story power serves you best when you know how to use it.

When I was just starting out in real estate, and for years actually, I would present listing presentations with facts, figures, charts, and statistics. These are the things I thought people wanted to hear. When you are competing for a listing and you want to illustrate what you stand for, and you know you’ll be put up against the other competing agents, you’re going to say, “Of course I’m concerned with client connection and I’ll take your calls.” But, every agent is going to say that. What kind of different response do you think I get when instead I share an example of taking a client’s call at 10:00 pm to discuss a last-minute concern. Or when I tell a story about the time that I helped my client clean up his home when he was short on time in getting moved out? Points are scored and made when a potential client can see your claims in action by the stories you tell. It’s no longer just a statement or a stat – it’s sharing your work in action.

This is just one example of hundreds that could be given. But the point is that there is no space in business where having a skill set that allows you to tell the right story in the right way isn’t going to be the most powerful play you can make. This is why these tools matter in the real world. So here we go – do you have your notebook ready?

Technique # 1 – Find your stories ahead of time so your quiver of stories is full. As a Realtor, I know the concerns of my clients and potential clients. They want to know that I can get them top dollar for their property, or negotiate the best possible deal on a purchase. They want to know that I will be honest with them. They need to trust that I know and understand the contracts and that I can protect them contractually throughout the negotiation process. They want to know that I’ll take their calls and that their best interest matters to me. Because I know these concerns, I can plan ahead and be prepared with stories that illustrate my values and performance in these areas. I’ve taken the time to dig for and pinpoint the experiences and stories that can help them get a good feel for how I do business and how I will take care of them. Do the same in your field of work. If you work for a non-profit and you are constantly talking to potential donors, have stories prepared that show their hard-earned dollars at work and the difference their money can make. Think about it ahead of time, plan and prepare. That’s what we do that makes us good. It is literally the quiver full of arrows that the hero will shoot to hit his/her mark.

Technique # 2 – Get to the action. Once you’ve pinpointed the stories you want to use, don’t add

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Choosing Your Perspective on Purpose – Interview with Ryan Clarkin

Welcome back to the Love Your Story Podcast Interview Land! Drumroll!

Choosing your perspective in every situation is a concept that frankly blows the lid off of life as we know it because it gives us complete control over our realities. While to some this is an exciting idea, to others it’s WAY too much responsibility. I don’t always do this particularly well, but sometimes I do, and when I do it’s amazing the wonders it works in creating my perspective, and my life. So today, stay tuned to talk with Ryan Clarkin, a life coach who specializes in this very thing. Let’s figure out how to do it.

Ralph Marston said, “What limits you is not the way things are. What limits you is the perspective you choose to see the way things are.”

Ryan Clarkin is a business and mindset coach for entrepreneurs who are ready to live a life of their design. He specializes in creating a clear vision, mastering interpretations, and how to instantly change your life through changing your interpretations.

So, welcome Ryan! Let’s talk about how we can create better, happier stories by choosing our own perspective.

To get ahold of Ryan you can find him on social media:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ryan.clarkin1 (https://www.facebook.com/ryan.clarkin1) YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJuxhoe_UzSpBlw71fYzJiQ (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJuxhoe_UzSpBlw71fYzJiQ) Instagram: http://instagram.com/ryanclarkin (instagram.com/ryanclarkin)

– Creating a clear vision – Mastering interpretations – The Mind-Map (your layer of reality) – How to instantly change your life through changing your interpretations – The power of cause – Vision + Belief + Action = Reality (The Lifestyle Design Equation)

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Treasure Hunting

Elizabeth Gilbert said in her book, Big Magic, “…you have treasures hidden within you –extraordinary treasures—and so do I, and so does everyone around us. And bringing those treasures to light takes work and faith and focus and courage and hours of devotion, and the clock is ticking, and the world is spinning, and we simply do not have time anymore to think so small.” Join us today for some treasure hunting – finding and sharing chests of gold and diamonds.

The inspiration for the title of today’s podcast comes from Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Big Magic. In the first few pages of her book she challenges the reader. She says, “Do you have the courage to bring forth the treasures that are hidden within you?” She is talking to creatives, people who write, act, dance, create. I proffer the same question to everyone. Within each of us are individual and unique talents, gifts and interests. I believe that our interests are the things we are meant to pursue. They are the compass that points us in the direction of our destiny. Which I’ve always considered great news because that means my destiny lies along a path I’m going to be interested in.

Gilbert says, “I don’t know what’s hidden within you. I have no way of knowing such a thing. You yourself may barely know, although I suspect you’ve caught glimpses. I don’t know your capacities, your aspirations, your longings, your secret talents. But surely something wonderful is sheltered inside you. I say this with all confidence because I happen to believe we are all walking repositories of buried treasure.”

Michael Strasner puts it another way. “Don’t rip the world off,” he says. I attended a leadership conference that he facilitated. As he pushed for each of us to stretch our imaginations, our courage, and our commitment, he often came back to that idea…”Don’t rip the world off.” You have gifts and beauty and incredible things to share with your tribe, your people, maybe even with the world on a larger scale, and now is not the time to play small. “Life is now!” he often said. If not now, when will you start living brave, bold and giving what you have to give…telling the story you have to tell?

I have always been fascinated by the array and variety of talents and abilities that people have. It’s one of my favorite things– to come to recognize an individual’s gifts, and I get excited about what those gifts mean; how they bless the person and give them their own color and power; how they make the world more diverse, richer with kindness or music, art or insight, wisdom or poetry; how they bring something different than I bring, and how that makes my life richer, and the world richer because they are alive and in it. Getting to know a person is like unveiling a new work of art and getting to appreciate how much better the world is because Dan, Sara, or Amanda is in the world. And EVERYONE of us has our own, personal treasure. What is yours? How do you share it?

In the story, the Count of Monte Cristo, the main character is wrongly imprisoned and after years of solitary confinement eventually meets another man who is imprisoned and they share a secret escape route as they try to dig their way out of the forsaken prison where the lost are surrendered and forgotten. He and the man become friends, partners in their escape, and the older gentleman teaches him to read, teaches him history, and even teaches him fencing. Right before he dies of an accidental cave-in, he gives to Edmond a treasure map that he has always...

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Episode 033 – A Business Episode – Using Story to Discover and Define Company Culture

Scenario #1

John sat at his desk, shuffling papers back and forth. He’d recently taken over the marketing of his mortgage company and he was trying to figure out what he was doing wrong. He posted on FB, Instagram, Twitter, all the spaces they felt they could reach their customers, but they weren’t getting much response. How could he improve interaction with his potential clients?

Scenario #2

Jillian had just been promoted to head of a sales team. She knew that each team was like a family here at ABC and she was now the new leader. How was she going to set up her team dynamic? How was she going to create camaraderie, action, and a highly motivated team?

Scenario #3

The Bright and Shiny window company had been around for twenty years. They were well established and had their way of doing things. Now suddenly, when they needed to hire new people they were being asked about company culture. What in the hell is company culture? And why should we care?

I. What is company culture?

Company culture forms, if not purposefully, then organically, by the values (do you value innovation?), management styles (perform or die; Open door support, family style), attitudes and energies of the employees and the perks and benefits that create loyalty, fun, and buy-in with your employees. This culture defines the often unwritten but very real rules of behavior.

How do your employees act when you are not around? What do they expect from the company? Do your employees and your clients feel connected and loyal? Do your programs create space for innovation or are your people highly regulated? Do you provide extra programs like a gym membership or monthly family get together to build relationships of loyalty with your employees or clients? Does your company become a part of the employees or clients story and make that connection? What does the company expect, value and reward from its employees? What will the company provide, incentivize and tolerate? The answers to these questions can easily outline the company culture.

There is an interesting article in Entrepreneur magazine, from last year, 10 examples of companies with fantastic culture. I want to share this with you because it provides real life examples of what defined and successful company cultures look like. Then, I’d love for you to share with the group what you feel your company culture is…good or bad, undefined, or well defined.

https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/249174 (https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/249174)

II.WHY CREATE IT ON PURPOSE?

Company culture has always been around, it’s unavoidable, but it’s only been in recent history that successful companies have started to create it on purpose.

Why? For a number of reasons

The new millennial workforce (70%) is as concerned with company culture as they are with pay and benefits. Working with a company that has similar values and in which they feel they are a valuable part of the family in which they become a part of the company story builds loyalty and longevity in a group that frankly isn’t known for either. Does it make their story look good?

It’s the future. The speed at which business ideas and platform are changing is difficult to keep up with. Air BNB, Uber, Periscope, Google, Zappos, Twitter…these companies that are thriving are paying very close attention to company culture. It’s an important new aspect of doing business. And certainly, one that is working.

Why leave something so important to chance? It’s going to be there, you might as well create it with purpose because it affects your reputation, your customer and employee loyalty, your retention of employees, your bottom line.

III. How does story align as a tool for company culture development and why would you want to use it?

Story is the genre that every human being, regardless of culture, class, nationality, or...

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Adam Chase lives in Boulder, Colorado. He is a professional trail runner, a professional snowshoe racer, a writer, a tax lawyer, an editor, an adventure racer, a mentor, a father, a husband, a brand ambassador, and the President of the American Trail Running Association. He talks to us about how he dealt with the toughest times in his 20’s, 30’s and 40’s, and how we can choose to find the best perspective possible in our story.

To contact Adam:

www.trailrunner.com

timetoplay

Chase@hbcboulder.com

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Anxiety – The Ties that Bind and Break

Yesterday I was listening to an episode of the Reply All podcast. It’s a podcast about different aspects of the internet, actually pretty cool because you can sorta keep tabs on interesting digital world things going on. So…. anyway, this episode was titled “Anxiety Box.” The show description goes like this, “Sometimes, on his way to work, a feeling of pressure begins thumping in Paul Ford’s chest. His breaths shorten. They speed up. And, sometimes in those moments of extreme anxiety Paul’s phone talks to him. It tells him everything that’s wrong with him.” I had clicked on this episode arbitrarily, I hadn’t read the description, but it turns out that Paul created a program called Anxiety Box … stay with us to find out what this is and a sure fire way to break that tie that binds.

So as it turns out, the Anxiety Box is a computer program where you can type in all the things you’re anxious about and your email address, and all day your “anxiety” will send you messages, in the general language of that anxiety voice, to remind you how you’re probably not going to succeed, or live, or get pregnant or whatever you’re feeling anxious about. It sounds like a horrible program, but what it did for him was to dehumanize the voice in his head, the voice of his deep anxieties, and he could see them for the spam that they were.

Now, I bring this up because until I heard his description of what he was going through – about sitting on the couch and feeling like he really had to get on that project, and then the voice saying, “Ya, but you’ll never be able to do it.” And then that sense of overwhelm hits, and then there’s that want to crawl under a blanket and not think about it, or maybe I should subscribe to Netflix…I hadn’t known what that was. My inner voice was calling it “pathetic ineffectiveness,” I explained it to my friends as “hitting a wall,” but once he explained it as anxiety, it suddenly felt more normal, less like a flaw and more like something to be managed. I don’t think of myself as an anxious person, so I could work that through – couldn’t I? The Atlantic magazine calls Anxiety “America’s most common mental illness.” That sounds pretty normal.

For the last three months, I’ve had a list of things that need to be done on this podcast that I am completely inexperienced in. I’m having to learn, every step of the way, how to do each and every little thing, like setting up email campaigns for my listeners, collecting email addresses to start the community, effective social media marketing – not just regular social media marketing – no, effective social media marketing, integration with programs like lead pages, Aweber, lead magnet construction, and what feels like a hundred other detours along each route. While you guys out there that know how to do all of this are thinking, “What’s the big deal?” for those of us who don’t know how to do all of this there is deep anxiety around figuring it out. In my case, it’s three months of staring at this list – there are actually about five lists now. I just keep making new lists of things that should be done. Now really, I’ve been watching how-to videos and listening to the more experienced folks who have done this, and then… freezing up. My partner and I have been pushing the items on this list back and forth to each other…. Neither of us knows how to do them.

A few days ago I was talking to my son. I told him that I wished he knew how to do all of this so I could just hire him to take

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BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE DO NOT JUST HAPPEN – A few thoughts on Adversity

Elisabeth Kubler Ross said, “The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” Join us today for a discussion on those life trials that rip our very hearts out, and how they can also be the stepping stones to our depth and beauty. Stay with us to talk about the hard stuff and why it makes us beautiful.

One thing I’ve come to understand over the years is that all people experience adversity. The ravages of life spare not race, religion, gender or geographic area. Trials, disappointments, sickness, sadness, heartbreak, and loss are all a part of life for everyone, no matter who you are. It’s part of the whole deal: death, taxes, and trails. You can’t escape any of them. But, we do get to decide how we process them; what we do with them; who we become because of them.

Adversity is a bag filled with variation. Trials may come from choices we make that then make our lives harder, like an unwanted teen pregnancy, or an addiction. Trials may come from choices others make that affect us like a spouse who cheats on us, an unscrupulous business scam, or abuse. Adversity may come upon us, such as an illness or death of a loved one, things that are a part of being mortal. We usually get a spattering in all three categories. We all have far more in common than we often stop to realize. There is that familiar saying about being kind to everyone because you never know what they are going through, no matter what it looks like on the outside. Probably a good idea!

From a story perspective, it’s an uneventful story that doesn’t have tension, climax, and a hero who must decide how to engage in the battle.

One of those heroes we all know – Christopher Reeve, said, “A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.” He was a super man, wasn’t he?!

Today I want to share a story with you about a little girl known affectionately as Lady Bug. I know this little girl personally. Her parents are real estate clients of mine, and her grandparents live next store to me. I’ve watched her run around my backyard with her cousins. She’s a real life story with her cute little glasses and her joy for life. Rylie was born in May of 2012. The first few months of her life were filled with happiness and sleep deprivation for her parents – all the normal stuff. Her mom and dad were completely in love with their beautiful baby girl.

Two months later, at a well-baby check-up, they asked the pediatrician to take a look at the numerous “birthmarks” that were appearing all over Rylie’s body. The Dr. took a look and then left the exam room to make some calls. When he returned he told the nervous parents that he suspected their brand new baby daughter had a genetic condition called Neurofibromatosis. He referred them to a geneticist at Primary Children’s Hospital and told them NOT to Google anything.

Shocked and dismayed, they went home and waited for the hospital to call them back. When the hospital called they told them the wait time was over 6 months to get in. Furious, terrified, completely sad, they turned to the internet anyway to find what answers they could, and the pictures...

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Finding Your Personal Resilience – From coping to thriving in the Journey.

Becky Andrews, the clinical director of Resilient Solutions Inc., and a previous guest on our show, shares with us her 10 steps to resiliency. How do you take care of yourself so you can bounce back when life is difficult? Listen to today’s podcast for her professional plan that she has also implemented in her own life, as a woman with a degenerative eye disease that caused her to lose her eyesight. Despite this disability, Becky learned resiliency as she became a wife and mother, a therapist, a community activist, and a marathon runner. She is the author of her autobiography Look up, Move Forward.

To contact Becky Andrews:

Resilientsolutionsinc.com (You can also find her book on her website.)

beckylpc@gmail.com

(801) 259 3883

Thank you for tuning in, and as always, please share this podcast with someone you feel could use it. Share the love!

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Building a Space for One Another – Setting the Scene of the Story

Before my children were born I created a space for them. I secured a warm home, set up a new-born bedroom. I painted and cleaned. I made quilts and chose clothing, bought story books and a baby bathtub. Acquired toys and binkies, diapers and burp cloths. We prepared a space for them to come into the world that would provide love, care, warmth, cleanliness, and learning. We created their secure base. Stay with me, we’re going to talk about the power we have to set the scene – set the stage in which our story plays out.

Stories are our lives in language. Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. I’m Lori Lee and I’m excited about for our future together of telling stories, evaluating our own stories, and lifting ourselves and others to greater places because of our control over our stories. This podcast is about empowerment and giving you, the listener, ideas to work with in making your stories work for you. Storypower serves you best when you know how to use it.

When I was newly married, like really newly married, still unpacking boxes into our first little apartment, I was so nervous about being domestic that I called my aunt to get her opinion on if I should buy this little copper tea pot I had found at a department store in the mall. It was pretty groovy, but I wasn’t sure about creating a home. “Sure,” she said, “You are creating a home, a space for both of you. Your husband will appreciate what you build.” Okay, I thought. And I bought the teapot and I placed it on the stove. It’s hard for me to get back in that 24-year-old mind, I’m not certain what I was so nervous about, but at the time domesticity was not something I aspired to. Since then I have come to love the responsibility of creating a comfortable, clean environment that is filled with things that make me happy and have meaning to me; a place that provides safety and comfort for my children, my friends, and any family that decide to stop by. I keep the kitchen bright, the candles lit, the floors vacuumed and my selection of hot cocoa, tea and cider at the ready. I don’t have that copper teapot anymore, I’m not sure where it went. I also don’t have the nose ring I had put in when I had my first son – also an attempt to fight of domesticity. It’s been a process.

I want to talk about this subject today because I don’t think it gets talked about much. It’s something we do, some of us do it on purpose, some of us just sorta live where we’re dropped, some of us are too busy with life to focus on how we’re living, but I think purposeful living and the power that comes in creating atmosphere and place is something worth a twenty-minute conversation. It’s the basis for many of our stories– scene and set I think can make a big difference in the energy of the story, the happiness of the characters, and the delight in the space that you control.

Spaces of light or darkness

I got to the point where nesting, creating the space for my child to come into the world was rich and purposeful. But it must be noted that as the days of our lives unfolded after that initial preparation of his baby room, we still continued and continue to this day, to create space for one another. Every day it’s still going on. We have the power to create all types of spaces. Imagine spaces of creativity, possibility, spaces of love and warmth, acceptance and support. Spaces of learning and work, struggle and overcoming. Humans also create some pretty horrible spaces for each other. We so easily create spaces of stress, of unrealistic expectation, of bitterness, of revenge, of depression, of abuse, of chaos and filth, of crudeness…our options range from all the negative influences and emotions we struggle to manage, to the light-filled spaces of love, joy and possibility. Here’s the point of today’s podcast – YOU have the power to create the set your life scenes unfold in. You have the power to create a space...

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Little Red Riding Hood carefully prepared her basket of 100% whole-wheat rolls, calcium supplements, an all-natural energy drink and some organic sushi for her grandmother. She secured her vibrant red cape around her neck, hopped on her bicycle, and headed through the woods to brighten the day and lighten the load of the elderly matriarch. Stay tuned to find out how the story ends.

On with the story: As little Red peddled out into traffic heading toward grannies house she noticed other women riders trailing feather boas, mini hula skirts, and pink jerseys. Turns out the riders were moms, cancer survivors, daughters, team riders, professional athletes, and a host of other female descriptors. They rode slow, they road fast, they chatted, they stopped at rest stops, they rode singly and in groups. They rode to raise cancer awareness and to raise money for research. They rode for exercise, for empowerment, for achievement.

Red Riding Hood discovered that the non-competitive cycling event was, at the time, the only women-only century in the country. Though she was very interested in the women she met and the ride that looped through rural and county roads, she cut out early at the turn-off to her grandmother’s. She didn’t get the groovy t-shirt, because of course, she hadn’t registered for the race.

Just before she turned off she saw a dark brown blur from the corner of her eye. She turned to see what had darted across the path, but not before a peloton of 10 women riders rode over the top of what Red recognized as a wolf. Hmmm she thought, “I wonder what a wolf is doing out in this part of town.” And with her cape billowing behind her she dodged a rock and rode toward grandmas for a little generational bonding.

As Red wove into her grandmother’s drive she noticed there were quite a number of other vehicles. A moped, a tandem bike, two cars, a pick-up and a Jesus truck. The later was a local truck with pictures of Jesus pasted all over it and quoted scriptures prophesying the importance of loving your neighbor. It was a neighborhood anomaly. As she stood her bike against the wall she realized her grandmother’s group for the Coalition for the Protection of Animals was mid-meeting and she probably wasn’t going to get much time with her grandmother. I guess there isn’t going to be time for a game of scrabble tonight, she mused.

As she was about to knock on the door, she thought better of it and just turned the knob, and walked in. The door swung open, smooth and quiet, hitting Darren, a local woodsman from the area. He was a real supporter of Granny, as he often stopped by and had lunch with her while working in the nearby woods. There was no hiding that he felt this group was a little extreme, but he showed up every month, probably for the fresh fruit smoothies granny made for everyone. They were renowned around town.

“Hey Red,” he said, rubbing his arm where the door had smacked him.

“Sorry,” Red whispered. Why are you standing so close to the door? Go sit down.”

“I don’t know how long I’ll be here. There was a wolf sighting earlier this morning and while I don’t want to announce it to this group, I may have to go assist with animal control.”

Red nodded and whispered, “You’re too late. The ladies in the peloton took care of him for you. He’s road kill.”

“What?” Darren looked at her askance. “The wolf is dead, out on the road?”

“Yup. I don’t mean to sound heartless, but pretty sure it’s seen its day. Those bikers didn’t even slow down.”...

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Today we have a special guest: Natalie Kristine Burrage - a specialist and coach in loving yourself.

Bio: Love Yoga Flow Studio Owner, Yoga Teacher, and Self-proclaimed Creation Catalyst, Natalie Burrage loves to empower her clients from shifting from the trauma and drama of life into a space of purposeful and fun creation so they can create the life they've desired! Empowering her students with self-love is key as she watches them create the love, the money, the happiness, and the life they've been longing for. She often says that people hire her who are ready to get off the merry go round of self-delusion and temporary fixes and actually step into truth, empowerment, and doing whatever it takes (including fun!) to get the results they weren't previously able to create on their own.

To contact Natalie:

https://www.instagram.com/natalie_burrage/https://www.facebook.com/thenatalieb/

https://twitter.com/NatalieBurrage

https://www.facebook.com/thenatalieb/https://twitter.com/NatalieBurrage

Leave your comments and thoughts below! We'd love to hear them.

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Three Stories about Three Bikes

In the words of Dr. Seuss, “Oh the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won.” Join us this week for a few stories about bikes, and the lessons they taught me about life.

A bike is a little like a dog. You are companions. Together you go places, you see things, and though you hopefully aren’t walking your bike too often, you are taking each other out and about for a little bit of exercise and scenery. A bike needs a ride like a dog needs a walk—okay, granted, I’m stretching the simile here. The bike needs TLC: oil and wipe-downs after a muddy day out. It is through this relationship, this closeness, that I can tell you some stories of exploration, escape, and thrill. Though the bike wasn’t always the same, it is the bike beneath me that allows for the adventure, the experience, and the lesson.

The Traveler’s Bike

Do you believe that if you think about something with enough intent that it will eventually come to you? After my divorce, I watched the movie, Under the Tuscan Sun and fell in love with the idea of Italy. I’ve learned that I can’t travel to new places without a mountain to climb, a trail to bike, or a river to paddle. For me to truly feel a place, I need to hear the voice of God in the natural environment-I need to sweat and interact with the land, and so I began to picture myself biking across the Tuscan countryside. I didn’t picture the details of how it would come about, just the nodding yellow sunflowers, the ancient olive orchards, the expanse of leafy vineyards, the rolling Tuscan hills, and century-old, rock farm houses that dot the crests in the photos of Tuscany.

Before long my chance manifested in a writing assignment for a magazine, and I ran my hands along the walls of the Tuscan Brunello wine cellars, sat at authentic Italian7-course dinners, took elementary language lessons from our Italian guides, enjoyed Italian cooking lessons from Italian locals, and took in the IlGran Fondo de Brunello (which I’m probably totally slaughtering the pronunciation)– a 36 kilometer mountain bike race whose 1021 participants that year, consisted almost completely of men. And instead of getting a t-shirt at registration you get a bottle of wine—so very Italian.

This was Italy. The cars so tiny, the washing machines so tiny. The old stone cities so empty. The countryside so rich and vast and beautiful. This was definitely not America. But, American women cluster the Italian kitchen in our old rented stone farmhouse. We slice tomatoes, fresh mozzarella, beets, parmesan, basil, and cucumber. The soundtrack to Mama Mia plays behind us while Federico Marconi makes pizza, and the deep, reverberating hum of the women all talking at once takes stage front. Corks pop and trays of food are laden with the colors of red tomatoes, white mozzarella, green pesto, and golden breads. One woman wears a t-shirt with a bike across the chest, another has wet hair from her shower following the daily ride along the roads that pass vineyards drooping deep purple grapes that await their transformation into Brunello. We dance, swing our hips to the music while we work.

Each morning we bike down a steep gravel road that leads from our stone apartments, past carefully groomed vineyards, to the paved road below that winds through the Tuscan countryside. We bike to thermal spas, to old, stone, neighboring cities, to café’s for thimbles of coffee and gelato, to an abbey that hails from

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Choose Love

Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Darkness can’t drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate can’t drive out hate; only LOVE can do that.” Join us today for a discussion on love. While love is always needed, always in style, now more than ever in our crazy and torn world, we need to talk about love. We need to share stories about love.

Last week we heard from Marvin Cassler – a man who is creating a crazy, out-of-the-box story, just exactly the way he wants it to be. Listen to that episode to see an example of someone who knows how to purposefully write his very own story. This week we’re going to delve into the topic of love. I’ll be honest, writing this podcast stresses me out because love is my favorite topic. It’s my favorite because it’s the answer to everything. It’s one of the things that I really, really believe in and that I’m always trying to do better. So this podcast needs to be good. No, it needs to be great, and that type of pressure makes me want to walk away for fear that I cannot do it justice. I probably can’t, but because it’s important, let’s talk about it, and let’s roll around in some love.

In the book Lost in Translation it says, “Love alone is capable of uniting living beings in such a way as to complete and fulfill them, for it alone takes them and joins them by what is deepest in themselves. This is a fact of daily experience.”

This daily experience makes Love a loaded word. Meanings implied and created from media, from nurture, from experience. It is the thing we crave more than anything else and it is often one of the most difficult things we engage in. It provides the utmost joy and the utmost pain. A few have had real transcendental experiences where they were filled with the love of God and actually know what that feels like, an elixir they’ll do anything to get more of, but most of us look to one another, a bunch of other imperfect people, who are also looking for love, and then in the mess, everyone tries to feel and be filled. It is the burnished space of this hunger that we all function from, often looking for someone to fill us so we can reciprocate, but this is a fool’s errand. Love begets love. Hunger does not beget love. There are many facets on the diamond of love. Love of a parent is different than love for a friend, which is different than love for a lover. There is the mature choice to love a person when the hunger transitions into familiarity. Love for mankind because of our connection, love of chocolate, love of a dear pet.

When Christ was asked, in the New Testament, what the most important commandment was, he explained that the first commandment was to love God and the second was to love your neighbor as yourself. I don’t know about you, but I’m often thinking about how things will affect me and my family before I consider how it’s going to affect the guy next door. Of course, when the term “neighbor” is used, Christ was referring to all around us – to our other fellow humans here riding this rock around the sun. The older I’ve gotten and the more I practice this, the better I get at thinking win/win for everyone. Coming from a place of love and acceptance without judgment, but it’s something I’m always trying to do a little better. When someone on Facebook really irritates me it’s easy to pass quick judgment. I have to stop and remind myself to love. When I want that parking spot that’s close to the front door and I can make it in before the other person vying for the spot – well, last week I had...

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Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. I’m Lori Lee, and I’m excited for our future together of telling stories, evaluating our own stories, and lifting ourselves and others to greater places because of our control over our stories. This podcast is about empowerment and giving you, the listener, ideas to work with in making your stories work for you. Power serves you best when you know how to use it.

Today, episode 23, I want to introduce you to Marvin Cassler. I found Marvin sitting at a booth representing the Pacific Coast Trail – also known as the PCT. This trail starts at the Mexican border and climbs straight up the US to the Canadian border. Endurance. Perseverance. Perspective. These are at the heart of every Pacific Crest Trail journey. It’s a place where people discover not only the trail, but what they have inside themselves. And, as it turns out, Marvin has not only hiked 1025 miles of this trail, but he’s also hiked 3200 miles of the Continental Divide Trail, 800 miles of the Arizon Trail, and 500 miles of the Colorado trail. He calls himself a section hiker and today he’s with us to talk about the very purposeful creation of the exact life he wants to live. Hi Marvin….

So you are known by a lot of names: Marvin Assler, Mr. Cassler by your 3rd graders (Oh ya, he’s a third-grade teacher too), Maverik is your hiking name, and KoKo – why so many names?

Listen to the podcast for the rest of this interview…

If you’d like to get in touch with Marvin Cassler you can find him on Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/cassler

Go to www.loveyourstorypodcast.com and share your thoughts and stories.

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Interview with Becky Andrews – Brave and Afraid – Choosing Empowerment over Fear

Today we have the privilege of speaking to Becky Andrews. You may have seen her on our Instagram campaign, or you may know her from her super-human feats of tandem biking thousands of miles around the Western US, running the Boston marathon and the NY City marathon, or you may know her as a licensed clinical mental health counselor…and while she is a mom, a wife, a business owner, a life coach, and has all the education to back that up, Becky is also blind.

Her story is particularly powerful, because in order to accomplish all I’ve mentioned, and much more actually, she’s had to overcome fear. She’s had to take a look at her story and reframe in spaces, just as we are always talking about.

If you want to get a hold of Becky after listening to her interview or to purchase her book:

Resilencesolutionsinc.com

Beckylpc@gmail.com

(801) 259-3883

Book: Look Up, Move Forward

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Rusty tells a story of how his father tried to sacrifice him, as a child, like Abraham was called to sacrifice his son Isaac. After his mother escapes with her two children Rusty’s life gets even more interesting and tragic, and he intuits, at a young age, that his story and his ability to rise above it will create his purpose.

Rusty is the Vice President of HCM Strategy and Thought Leadership at Bamboo HR where he focuses on helping organizations discover and increase employee value. He is a public speaker who is focused on human performance engineering and he is passionate about helping people reframe and rise above the self-imposed limitations of their past and the stories that come along with it.

If you would like to get a hold of Rusty after listening to his interview:

rustylindquist@gmail.com

His book, Escape Velocity, is scheduled to be available December of 2017

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Lean into Possibility

Rumi said, “You were born with wings.”

To fly you have to jump. To jump means you have to risk. But without risk and leaning into possibility, without being off-balance at times, you are nothing but rooted to the ground, your wings unused.

Our comfort zones are very comfortable places to be. They don’t require vulnerability, because vulnerability by nature is generally uncomfortable. They don’t require risk, because real risk, the risk that pushes you past your limits is also not comfortable. Our comfort zones don’t require discomfort and so we love them – they are the happy place, but they are also the places that don’t require growth, adventure, and possibility. The only stories you are going to be telling from your comfort zone are ones you’ve already told a dozen times before.

Now, possibility is the flower born from the seed of risk, getting out of your comfort zone, and leaning into the unknown. Possibility is where dreams and answers lie in wait, where the unknown waits for you to pull back the veil. Possibility is the mystery that awaits you. That’s where we are going today!! What is possible for you!?

When we get dedicated – really serious about our lean, in fact so serious that we actually lean so far that we jump off the cliff and start using our wings, the universe creates a wind that blows up from the canyons below us and supports our faith.

German poet Goethe said, “Concerning all acts of initiative, there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings, and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.”

And, Christ said, “Be it unto you according to your faith.” In other words, when you believe enough you can fly, or in his case, walk on water. This podcast episode is really about bravery. Bravery and belief in possibility and things yet unknown. It’s about how we get to create our bigger, better life story by making sure that the stories currently raging in our minds are not holding our feet firmly to the ground while our wings ache with lost opportunity. Some of those stories look like, “Well, I have a good life. I’m fine with the way things are.” “I can’t go after THAT dream, it’s too bold – who am I to deserve that?” “My voice doesn’t matter, who cares about my story?”

For those of you who don’t follow extreme sports – sports like skiing, sky diving, surfing, motocross, etc. there is a phenomenon in human performance taking place over the past 20 years or so that is unprecedented. In the book, The Rise of Superman Steven Kotler tackles the question of how it is possible that suddenly, in the matter of one generation human feats of possibility have surpassed, often quadrupled in a matter of a very few years, what was ever considered possible for the human body to do. It is a book about the impossible and how it is happening. Using some examples from the book I’ll show you what we’re talking about. Twenty-five years ago the 360, a complete rotation on skies off a jump, was THE trick skiers were throwing. It was the cool thing in the Warren Mill ski movies. I can attest to this truth – I was there. I practiced them season after season. They were the trick that announced you were in the top...

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Vulnerability – the key to connection and possibility

Brene Brown said, “I believe that vulnerability – the willingness to show up and be seen with no guarantee of outcome, is the only path to more love, belonging and joy.” Today let’s explore how vulnerability creates possibility.

Today let’s explore how vulnerability creates possibility.

As adults, we accumulate experiences. Experiences that at best dull our passions and create a guarded participation in our feelings, and at worst shroud our hearts in layers and layers of armor to keep out any more of the hurt life dishes up in all its varieties. “I want to feel passion again,” is a common refrain. Or “I can’t remember the last time I laughed really hard.” There are also all the hidden dreams we don’t dare embark on, and the relationships that die because we aren’t open enough to risk our feelings and our authentic selves. In stories, these are often the issues the protagonist is working through. We celebrate when someone overcomes an obstacle and lives their dream, when the hero finds hope and joy again when the protagonist transforms a relationship from weak and dying into something fresh and passionate. Think about the stories we watch in the theater and read in books. We are always rooting for the characters to be honest and open, to share and connect.

What does that mean? For me, the big emotional work of my later life has been around finding the desire and the courage to strip off the layers of armor I have so carefully placed around myself over the course of my life. I have on a breastplate, a helmet, a nice piece of heavy mail underneath the outer layers. I have a shield…I have it all. I only know this because of how hard it was to get it off. Stories carved from our pain, these are the tales we often hold close to the chest. In our careful protection of our lives, we suffocate a past and a future, hold hostage the creator – ourselves.

The dictionary defines vulnerability as:

Capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt, as by a weapon: a vulnerable part of the body.

Open to moral attack, criticism, temptation, etc.:

An argument vulnerable to refutation; He is vulnerable to bribery.

Now none of those definitions make me want to jump into vulnerability, but I learned a thing or two this year. Namely, that vulnerability is power. That seems like an oxymoron, but it turns out that it’s true. When we are real, authentically who we are, this is the space where true connection is made – or that the possibility of it even exists. One of the things that I have learned in my writing is that when I share real stories, not crafting them so they sound good, but the raw, real stuff; the stuff that makes me vulnerable, this is the space where people are touched. This is the space where readers can relate. This is the space where writing is not life as it should be, but rather, life as it is. And this makes connection. Writers help society understand the connections that bind us, and this is done, often, through realness, which requires vulnerability.

In my Next Level workshop there were many people who were striving to find their own vulnerability. Men wanted better relationships with their wives and they weren’t sure why they were hitting a wall. Vulnerability was completely foreign to them. That space where you share yourself, your feelings, your fears. Fathers and mothers wanted to reconnect with children, children wanted to reconnect with parents. They wanted to heal relationships. They needed a...

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Gratitude, Abundance and Prosperity – The seed and the plant

We all want abundance. We all want prosperity. The key to open the door is as simple as gratitude—it shows you what you already have, how prosperous you already are, how supported you are by God and the universe where it really counts. And once you truly feel that in your soul, you open for even more to flow into your space of being. The stories we tell about our abundance now set the stage for what will come. Welcome to episode 18 – where we are going to talk about the seed of gratitude and the plant that grows in to abundance and prosperity.

We’ve just been through the holiday season. Thanksgiving is a time when we focus, for a moment on what we’re grateful for, while Christmas, quickly on its heels is a time when we shift gears and start thinking about what we want – what gift we will ask for. With January we start planning for what we want to create that we don’t yet have – a flatter stomach, a promotion, more patience, something different than what you have now. I’m all for progression and forward movement, but I’ll let you in on a secret, before we get more, we need to appreciate what we have in the now! And that’s what today’s podcast is about, how gratitude leads to abundance. How being present in the now, and grateful for what is around you at this very moment, is the key to opening more peace of mind, more abundance, and greater prosperity. Let’s get started, because there are really good reasons why life will get a lot better if you make gratitude a constant way of being. Namely: It makes for the very happiest stories.

You’ve heard the saying “You have to know the bad to know the good?” The idea of contrast as a teacher is nothing new, particularly when it comes to gratitude. The moments when the sound track on our lives intensifies because the trauma and drama is about to get amplified is not when we are thinking “Oh yay! I’m about to learn something wonderful.” But, with pain comes the other side of the coin, which is the appreciation for when pain is not present. Let me tell you a story.

When I met death and he stood close enough that his breath was hot on my face, I was left somehow different. With his retreat he took me, with his bony fingers, past the point of the invincibility of youth. I arrived at a place of realization, a state of understanding limits in a way that had previously escaped me. As I lay, unable to move from the pain of broken ribs and punctured lung, fractured skull, deep puncture wounds in my arm, knee, scalp, a broken ankle and fingers, suddenly I was excruciatingly aware of the blessing of a whole body.

I used to rock climb multiple times a week finding a deep fulfillment in disciplining my mind and body to take me one step further than I’d gone before; to feel the rock, sometimes cold, sometimes hot, the finger pockets, the ledges, my aching legs and forearms, the chalk on my fingers and the sweat soaking through it – the adrenalin, the now. You trust your belay partner or you wouldn’t climb with them, so I never imagined I’d lie at the bottom of a cliff victim of human error, ambulance racing to my broken body. These are not the things we plan for.

I had weeks to lay and wait for the world and time to pass me by as my body tried to piece itself back together after the 100-foot fall. This provided thinking time and a profound understanding of a few things I took for granted.

Not being able to lie down or breathe well from the injuries, my head swimming with vertigo when I tilted it back on a pillow, not being able to hold by son because of broken fingers and a broken hand; not being able to stand or walk well due to a broken ankle stripped of ligaments, made so much sweeter the chance to dance, when I finally could, to shower myself, to drive, to walk, to get up off the couch without help. This trauma taught me how much I love my body – how grateful I am for it. I learned that when whole and healthy it functions smooth and beautiful and that I love to breathe.

While contrast, knowing the bad so we can fully appreciate the good, is one way to become grateful, I’m going to suggest that gratitude can become a habitual way of thinking and need not only come when compelled through comparison.

At its core, abundant living and gratitude is a way of seeing the world. It’s picking the good things out of our stories instead of the bad. I have learned that when we do this, we see and we create more good things! It’s a little like magic.

My story of my climbing accident could focus on the trauma, I could relive and relish telling about the pain and long recovery. I could focus on the belayer who dropped me from the top of the climb and the betrayal and incompetence shown. I could get lost in blame. I could focus on the scars, or I can focus on what I learned. My body has always been a loyal, healthy, beautiful, smoothly functioning friend. It has and continues to serve me well and takes me to physicals heights of exhaustion, ecstasy, and everything in between. I get to focus my story on how I really learned to appreciate the gift of a healthy, functioning body.

I challenge you to find those abundant gifts you take for granted every day and celebrate them!

Let’s talk about the first and most obvious reason why gratitude as a way of living rocks! First and foremost when you start off the day being grateful that you have hot water to shower in, food for breakfast and heat warming your house during the cold winter months, you begin the day with a mindset that allows you to feel supported, happy, fortunate. This mindset is a powerful one to step out on. Always start with gratitude because it makes you happy, and what better reason could there be?

Real, heart-felt, deep-soul gratitude for the people, conveniences, opportunities, comforts and possibilities in your life is the key to joyful living. Bringing this into your life every day is well-worth the effort. How? In an early episode I shared how I say and gratitude prayer every morning. This gives me a moment that draws my attention to the hot water in my shower, to the health and strength of myself and my children, of the joy in my puppies gait as he hops down the street on his walk. That’s one way. Some people keep a gratitude journal, writing each day a list of things they are grateful for that day. I have found when I’ve done this that going back and reading the entries from the past is the most powerful part. Things I had already forgotten about are there, written on the page for me to relive again. I’m sure there are lots of ways you can bring yourself to a more habitual state of gratitude, find one that works for you BECAUSE…

when you buy now you will also get the extra bonus of ABUNDANCE. Living in abundance is most everyone’s goal to some degree or another. Most people don’t enjoy living in a state of lack. But many people spend a lot of time thinking about lack, and so more lack shows up in their lives. When we focus on what we don’t have, what we don’t have stays as a permanent state. After all, it is what we are focused on. Abundance, on the other hand, is also a mindset! It’s a way of thinking. It’s a magic way of thinking that helps you realize the abundance you currently live in and attract even more of that abundance into your world. Abundance thinking isn’t just about money. It’s about what we’ve been talking about – it’s about gratitude and rolling around in the beautiful abundance that is already available in your life. This looks a little different for everyone because everyone’s circumstances are different.

If you have someone to love, your health, your freedom, and the opportunity of just being alive, you are rich. If you have comforts like all the food you want, friends, indoor plumbing and the occasional night on the town, you have more than many people on this planet. You won the lottery. Of all the people who have every lived on the earth, and of all the people currently alive, to be one that has enough food, the opportunity for education, freedom, clothing, and a roof over your head puts you in the top percentage of abundance, and many of us have even more than that to be grateful for.

Chris Lee, trainer, transformational coach, and author, says in his book Transform Your Life, 10 Principles of Abundance and Prosperity, that when you join your wisdom, talents, and experience with others that you are creating abundance within your relationships and co-creating a network, a community you can draw from and contribute to, and that this is another type of abundance. Do you have a support network, friends, associates? Don’t forget to count that blessing.

There was a time when my kids’ father and I took a trip in a travel trailer for six months through Mexico and the Western United States to see places and make adventures. In a travel trailer you have limited water, electricity only when you plug in, and you have to empty your own black water – no easy flush of the toilet never to see your dinner bi-products again, no you have to empty your own toilet tank, hose out the tubes, and generally get a whole lot closer to the sewer than one is generally used to. When I brushed my teeth I had to get my toothbrush wet quickly then turn off the water because of the limited water. Before this adventure, I often bemoaned paying the utility bills. I was newly married and utilities like power, water, sewer just felt like unalienable rights a person should be given without having to pay for them. Ahhh youth. At any rate, when we returned from six months of life with intermittent utility privileges I was more than happy to pay those utility bills. Those utility bills meant that I had a telephone, and a warm house, and running water and a toilet that took black water far from my thoughts with the flick of a wrist. If you have a place to live and utilities, you are blessed.

I encourage you, even on the hard days-maybe especially on the hard days, to remember that you are abundant now! We have life, we have breath, we have our own set of abilities. These things are the foundation for creation and we get to pick the ball up from there. We would never trade these things for money, any of them. Everyone can begin to live in a state of abundance through gratitude – right now, no matter how much money you have or don’t have. There’s no waiting until you’re super rich, or until you have the new car or the latest and greatest (fill in then blank). That’s missing the point entirely. Abundance is a state of mind, not a stack of things you own. Let me repeat that: Abundance is a state of mind, not a stack of things you own.

Chris Lee is clear that abundance is a state of consciousness. He says that “true abundance has everything to do with how you see the world,” and that “when you live from a place of gratitude and appreciation, you can shift your consciousness quickly from a place of scarcity to a place of abundance.” He goes on to acknowledge that it sounds too simple, but, he says, “I’m here to tell you that I know it works. You cannot have what you want until you are grateful for what you have…the state of abundance IS gratitude.”

Eckhart Tolle basically shared the same truth when he said, “Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”

So, on your road to abundance, the first and most critical step is gratitude. And why not? It’s also the key to happiness.

The bubbling water around me was getting in my ears and the fat hairy man sitting next to me in the Jacuzzi was blocking my view of the moon from the Whistler Resort Hotel in Whistler, British Columbia. Straining up in my outdoor seat on this April night I attempted to keep the water from spraying in my face and still keep the view of the moon sliding behind the foggy white clouds and coloring them with the eerie light of muted daffodil and a hazy, seaweed green. From the outdoor deck in which we sat cooking ourselves in the hot-tub, I finally gave up trying to see around him and sat back, but his body made the spray of the jets splay up and out from the water’s surface and I succeeded only in getting another face-full of water. Moving to the other side I found a spot to lean out and over the side, my arms folded over the edge. Finally, I let my mind relax, being massaged by the night sky, by the moon in mystic dance with the clouds, painting them with its borrowed light. I basked in the exposure of crystal stars while my body was massaged by the warm water.

This snapshot of 30-minutes in British Columbia is a super simple example of the take-away technique. In this tiny story I get to either focus on the man blocking my view and spraying me with water, focus on the irritation and discomfort, or I get to focus on the humor, the gorgeous night sky I was so privileged to sit under, and the great fortune of getting to relax in a hot tub after a day of skiing. That’s a super easy one, but I’ve known people who find the negative in every situation and amplify it by complaint until they and everyone around them is in a miserable funk. Who wants to be that guy? I know nobody likes to be around that guy.

Chris Lee says, “Abundance is the mindset – prosperity is the result.”

We live in a time and culture where everything we could possibly imagine is available if you have enough money. You want to travel across the world and see exotic things – all you need is money. You want a maid, a race car, surgery to rearrange your face into someone else? All you need is money. We live in profusely prosperous times, but it’s only available for those who have the money, so everyone wants money, seeks abundance, craves the power and freedom allotted by the almighty dollar.

Here’s a quick little reminder from Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is a theory in psychology proposed by Abraham Maslow in 1943. It basically shows a triangle made of 5 tiers. Starting from the bottom, each tier lists a set of human needs that needs to be taken care of before we will focus on the next set. So, the bottom tier shows that we need food, water, warmth and rest. Once we have those things we will seek to find security and safety (the second tier), once we have security and safety we will seek out the third tier, intimate relationships, belonging and friends. The fourth tier is seeking after privilege and feelings of accomplishment, while the fifth tier is self-actualization and focus on achieving one’s full potential. I bring this up in conjunction with a study done in 2010 of 450,000 Americans, by Nobel prize-winning scientist Daniel Kahneman and colleagues at Princeton University. One of the things this study points out is that for those who suffer for food, water and shelter, an increase of money most certainly makes them happier, but past a certain point of income, when all the basic needs are taken care of, then a continual increase in money is NOT the key to happiness. More money does not equate with greater happiness. The goal to make six-figures might be something you want to shoot for, but don’t do it for happiness sake. Happiness is living in that state of recognizing the abundance that surrounds you, and while money opens many opportunities and provides security, at some point you must look at what you are sacrificing for the money. If the acquisition of your money comes at the price of your relationships, and you are past the point of having all you need and more, perhaps your best life move is to cut back on attaining more money for the sake of supposed happiness, and enjoy the prosperity and abundance you have created, and nurture the relationships you are so blessed to abundantly have.

Melanie Greensberg, Ph.D., a practicing psychologist, wrote in her article, Is Money the Secret to Happiness, that “Of peoples greatest regrets at the end of life, not spending more time with their kids when they were young, is one of the most common. Overall, money to meet basic needs is necessary, but not sufficient for life happiness. It is a piece of the pie in overall life satisfaction, along with relationship satisfaction, meaningful work, health and spiritual well-being.” These are the pieces of life that we get to see abundantly and with gratitude, starting where we are in recognition of the wonderful abundance around us, and creating from that state of abundance.

Ralph Waldo Emerson takes it a step further, he goes beyond just being thankful for the good things. He says, “Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.”

Gratitude, abundance, and prosperity are to each other like a seed and the plant. Gratitude plants the seed of abundance in your life, and from the daily watering and care sprouts happiness and increased prosperity, because focus on the good brings more good blooming into your life. It’s that simple.

This week’s challenge is to go through a couple of your life stories, maybe even a couple of the tough ones, and find the parts and pieces of those stories that give you something to be thankful for. Find the gratitude. Find that state of abundance from which to stand and bask in the ways life is supporting you. Find the night sky instead of the obstacle blocking it. Find the lesson instead of the regret or blame. Find the light instead of the shadow.

Have fun out there telling your stories and I’ll see you next week with the next episode of Love Your Story podcast. We’d sure love it if you’d go to www.loveyourstorypodcast.com and sign up for the weekly inspiration/challenge so we can stay in touch with you.

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Episode #17 5 Challenges for 30 Days

Aristotle said, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.”

What stories do you habitually tell yourself? What stories can you reframe to create better habits and ways of being? Today I’m going to give you 5 challenges for the next 30 days! Easy, but life altering if you let them in.

Think about something you do habitually. Something that might have been hard to learn at first, but after practice, you can do it without even thinking about it. Your brain has set up a pattern and you will do it the same way every time. We set up patterns of behavior by repeatedly doing them until the body and brain go on autopilot and can do them without much thought. Since we become what we repeatedly do, and we do what we repeatedly think about it makes a great deal of sense that we purposefully create thoughts and habits that will help us become who we want to be. Habits that create the story and life we want for ourselves and our loved ones. Habits that strengthen, build and empower us. Often these habits are very linked to the stories we have going on in our minds.

The challenge I am throwing out to you today is to take the five simple things I’ll share and implement them into your life for just 30 days. No year-long resolution, no, just try these for 30 days and see what new habits you might form and how those transform your life and your way of seeing and thinking about things. So, let’s get started…first, eat chocolate cake everyday…just kidding.

1. Address and acknowledge the lesson in inconvenient situations – look at the stories.– There are lots of ways to look at life. We acknowledge all the time that our stories are filled with challenges – people we clash with, lost love, situations and people who require the very depths of our patience, health and body issues, disappointments, lost jobs, no job, that lump of coal you got for Christmas, the state of the world, the definning of shark. Of course there are also the moments of beauty and miracles, but this challenge is about the habit of how we deal with the disappointments and challenges. One of the ways we can approach life is with the idea that everything is a life lesson. Everyone you meet, everything you encounter, they’re all part of the learning experience. So, here’s the challenge: Acknowledge the lesson, especially when things don’t go your way. If you don’t get a job you wanted or a relationship doesn’t work, it only means the right thing for you– is still out there waiting, and the lesson you just learned is a step toward it. It’s easy to start making up stories about ourselves and others when things don’t happen the way we want: I’m not good enough; that person had it out for me; my boss doesn’t really like me; my friends always let me down, they must not respect me. None of these are helpful stories, even if they seem real. Remember that you get to choose your perspective of any situation: Attitude determines experience. When you try to find the lesson and glean a little something from the experience, and focus on that, there is less room for the one-liners to eat away and create a bad headspace for us. Every day we choose our state of mind. Try to find the lesson that comes with each challenge. Find the take-away – the thing you will ponder on, learn from, and focus on whenever you revisit that experience. It will change your story completely because you give up victimhood, blaming, bitterness…

2. Success File – what was the day’s story? At the end of the day I do what is called “success file” which is a play on sounds – “successful.” I go through and list in my head all the things I got done, instead of all the things I didn’t get done. This includes everything, even getting out of bed, taking a shower, doing my make-up. Because sometimes that’s harder than others. Some days my list is longer than others, but it always shows me that I’ve created SOME successes. Maybe my list is: I got dressed and ready for work. I made breakfast for the kids. I did morning meditation. I walked the dog. I went to zumba. I took a client out on showings. I fixed dinner. I had a great conversation with my son. Maybe instead it looks like: I got out of bed. I enjoyed a cup of tea. I read a book I’ve been wanting to read. I talked with a friend. I ate a healthy lunch. I processed some paperwork. Maybe it looks like this: I slept in late and got some extra needed ZZZs. I washed the car. I wrote a podcast. I went to a listing presentation. And that’s it. Every day is different for each person but it’s invigorating to file your successes instead of focus on the things still sitting on your List of Things To Do. Try this every night as you lay in bed before falling asleep. It’s a nice note to go to sleep on. It’s a nice way to frame your story with what you did, instead of what you didn’t.

3. Let Go: Get rid of one thing a day for 30 days.– We have so much clutter surrounding us at any given moment (at the office, in our cars, in our homes) and often we’ve become so accustomed to it that we no longer notice how it affects us. If you start cleaning up some of this external clutter, a lot of internal clutter disappears as well. When we sold our house and packed all our belongings in storage units and went off to travel Mexico I can verify that there was an energy draw to the things I owned in that storage facility. The things we own, even if they aren’t near us, tie up our energy. Choose one needless item each and every day and get rid of it. It’s that simple. It might be difficult at first, so expect some resistance. But after some time you will begin to learn to let go of “things”, and your mind will thank you for your efforts. Take a box of old clothes to Goodwill. Get rid of a vase that you’ve never really loved. Throw out those water bottles clanking around in the backseat of your car. Take down that picture you’ve had on your wall for 20 years and find something new and fresh that you love, clean out your music collection, sell off the DVDs you no longer want. This can be fun. Let Go! – Pay down a debt. Get rid of a bad relationship that causes you pain. Your options are many. Your surroundings are the stage in which your story takes place. Make it a place that you love – a place that feeds your energy, not drains it – a place where your best stories can play out.

4. Give the benefit of the doubt – My father and I got in a spat over politics. On the way home from his house my son and I were discussing the issue, and as I shared my frustration and lack of understanding as to the party my father supported my son reminded me to give him the benefit of the doubt. While it may not make sense why so many people voted in a direction I thought was completely amoral, my son reminded me that I had to give people the benefit of the doubt that their reasons for voting that way were not based on a complete lack of ethics, morals and intelligence. Maybe they are focused on only one part of the candidate rather than the whole package…or some such thing. Sometimes, especially when we don’t understand something, giving the benefit of the doubt can be the only way.

I’ve been told that my communications via e-mail and text are often too direct, without emotion. This stems from the fact that I’m not generally a flowery person, more straight to the point, but without facial expression and body language it can be interpreted as stark. I begged Matt, my podcasting partner, the other day to give me the benefit of the doubt in our communications because I don’t ever mean to offend, but I’m not great at adding heart emoticons and smiley faces. In fact, sometimes after I write an email I have to back to the top and add in all the “How are you” lines that one would generally exchange in person. I really appreciate it when people give me the benefit of the doubt that I’m not being a jerk.

There are always places where we can take offense. People rub up against each other (metaphorically speaking), it’s what we do. There are rubs and irritants, and miscommunications all day long. But if everyone gave one another the benefit of the doubt that they meant well, that they are doing the best they can in their current state of understanding and in their current situation, I suspect life would generate a whole lot less friction and we would create grace for others. I know I’m always grateful when people afford me a little grace and create stories that are generous and kind rather than being quick to take offense.

5. Meditate – Meditation is quite the buzz word. On Entrepreneur on Fire podcast, the top entrepreneurs very often talk about how meditation helps them be the top performers they are. In The Universe has your Back by Gabby Bernstein, she goes into great detail about the power of meditation. It’s a key spiritual practice for her. I’m trained in Transcendental Meditation and I notice that often when I am meditating, slowing my mind down for 20 minutes, that it is these moments when very needful things that have been lost in the hustle of my mind pop up to the surface so I can take care of them. I find it also rejuvenates me for the rest of the day. I sometimes even fall asleep – and that’s okay too, frankly. Aside from what I find, or what Gabby finds, or the what the EO Fire entrepreneur’s find, science also finds that meditation improves your health, both mental and physical. It calms, clarifies, creates flow. So, even though you are busy, I highly suggest you find 10 minutes every day to sit in a place where you can be alone, close your eyes, and focus on your breathe. Try to get your mind to place of quiet – this is why we focus on the breathing – on the present moment of the body, not on all the tangents the brain can conjure up. Use any technique you like, but notice the difference and create the possibility of calm, of communication with ideas and spirit, of just taking care of yourself. It’s a worthwhile investment that can put a whole new spin on your story.

That’s it! My five suggestions. Do these 5 simple things for 30 days. Write them down and put them where you can see them every morning. Ready: 1. Find the lesson in difficult situations. 2. Success file 3. Get rid of one thing a day for 30 days. 4. Give the benefit of the doubt. 5. Meditate.

Make it fun! Be consistent! And see how different your perspective, your relationships, your home and space, and your mind-set is in just one month! It’s exciting to think about. Then hop on www.loveyourstorypodcast.com and share your thoughts, your experiences, and your results with me. I promise to respond to every post. I am excited to hear from you. And one piece of advice. Don’t be hard on yourself. If you miss a day, start again the next day. If it’s difficult at first to give someone the benefit of the doubt, just practice it, do what you can. That’s why we have 30 days to practice, because new behaviors and ways of thinking take practice and you won’t get them right all the time. And that’s okay!

See you next week on the next episode of Love Your Story podcast. Please share this podcast with a friend and sign up for our weekly challenge on www.loveyourstorypodcast.com.

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Stories are models of how to live. We often look to how others do things in order to determine how we should do things. Stories are often the vehicle in which these models are exchanged. Today we learn that when our life stories don’t turn out in a way that fits our cultural models we can listen to stories from others to find additional worthwhile ways to create our lives. Today I interview Lynne McNeill, a professor of Folklore at Utah State University. Come along and listen to her considerable expertise in story and what we can learn from becoming aware of our stories, the stories of those around us, and the co-creation of meaning that results.

Podcast Interview: Lynne McNeill, Utah State University, English Department

See her TEDx talk here: http://tedx.usu.edu/portfolio-items/lynne-mcneill/

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Tell YOUR truth. Find YOUR voice. Sing YOUR song. Today I interview Amy Donaldson Brass about what it took to find her own voice in the male-dominated world of sports reporting. Come along and listen to our first interview as Amy tells her story.

Podcast Interview: Amy Donaldson Brass, Sports Reporter for the Deseret News, Salt Lake City, Utah.

For more information on Amy go to: http://www.deseretnews.com/author/5017/Amy-Donaldson.html

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Personal Narrative – How We Reveal Ourselves

When we talk to one another we engage in a ritual. Most people, of course, don’t think of it that way, but there are distinct patterns we follow in verbal exchanges. One type of exchange is the sharing of stories. The way we tell our stories to each other allows us to do so many things: build reputation, share awe, warn, teach, threaten, celebrate and explore, among others. Today we’ll discuss how we use stories to reveal ourselves and to reflect others.

During my study of the personal narrative, I used Erving Goffman’s research and writings on the interaction ritual a great deal. I studied his work in detail because the idea of a simple conversation being a complex ritual was fascinating. As I broke apart his work I marveled that a mind could take apart such common everyday actions and find these patterns. But he was right on. We do follow patterns when we talk with one another, and as he discovered, “face” is the pivot point of the ritual.

Let me share some definitions:

“Face” as Goffman defines it, is the “positive social value a person effectively claims for himself by the line others assume he has taken during a particular contact.” One might consider this your base reputation.

A “line” is a pattern of verbal and non-verbal acts by which he expresses his view of the situation. Something like one’s perspective on a topic.

If a person is “in face” then the encounter allows that person to sustain an image of oneself that he/she is comfortable with and frankly takes for granted. Which means that your reputation is in-line with what you are comfortable with.

If a person is “out of face” it means that information has been brought forth that does not sustain the face being held for that person. Or, in other words, that the person has not maintained their reputation. For example, if someone considers themselves smart, and they are considered smart in their social groups, and they do something foolish, they are “out of face.”

“Face work” is action taken to make whatever he/she is doing consistent with the “face” he/she has established. So, you’re working to maintain your reputation as whatever you are comfortable with by the things you say and do.

“Poise” is the ability to suppress and conceal any tendency to become shamefaced during encounters.

To “Save Face” is a process by which a person sustains an impression for others that he has not lost face.

To “Give Face” is to arrange for another to get a better line than he could have gotten otherwise. So, perhaps to brag someone up upon introduction, which is not something they could have done for themselves.

You get the idea here. Basic concepts we understand and take for granted in our exchanges are actually part of a ritual that we intuitively understand because we have learned it through our cultural upbringing. So why do I want to take this apart? We are always discussing in this podcast how the power of story is a powerful tool. And, as I say in the beginning of every podcast, “power works best when you know how to use it.” Understanding how we use our stories, and what they do for us in these ritual exchanges, every day, allows us to purposefully manage “face” and understand what it means when we share parts of ourselves and our stories. By the time this episode is over you will have a greater awareness of how and why you use your stories in these exchanges.

One of the important aspects of “face” that must be acknowledged is that while everyone varies to some degree in how much they claim to care about what others think, everyone has a vision of themselves they wish to portray. This self-image is deeply meaningful to each of us and emotional responses are attached to it. Goffman points out that when we are in social situations where our “face” plays out as it should, we feel good and confident. But if we have an encounter where our ordinary expectations of face are not maintained we feel bad, hurt, or ashamed. These acknowledgements of the emotional import of maintaining “face” and its impact on our ability to function well establishes the serious nature of this ritual and the ritual outcome.

So, here’s the kicker – while this social “face” can be one of our most personal possessions, it IS on loan from society. It can be revoked by others if we don’t live up to the “face” we’ve built, or we don’t engage in the ritual properly. For example, one aspect of the ritual is that when someone is ready to leave the ritual they will start using phrases or body language to turn away or cut off conversation. It the other person in the ritual /conversation doesn’t get the clues being dropped and continues to talk and talk, it is likely that people will avoid talking to this person in the future if this is an ongoing oversight. Know what I mean? Hence the natural inclination for each of us to carefully and appropriately navigate through our communication rituals. One of the ways this is done is through the stories we share and our ability to live up to those stories.

For example, let’s say a new student arrives on campus and is quite vocal sharing experiences and stories about their successes at the school they’ve just transferred from. The student is in the drama department and they claim many experiences with leading roles and much acting exposure on the stage. The student drops names and techniques and talks the talk, but when it comes time to walk the walk her performance does not match the face she has claimed. She has used stories about her past experiences that show her to be experienced and strong in her field of singing, dancing and acting, but upon performing she is unable to keep this face. In which case, she is now ‘out of face’ with her society. Her reputation then changes to be not only one that does not live up to her stories, but is now also jaded by the shadow of mistrust. This is what face is and how it works. Now let’s look at some other conversational techniques.

In my thesis research, I discovered the fun phenomenon of what I call “plugging into the domino train.” This is where one person tells a story and those listening automatically start scanning the filing cabinets of their minds for links to their own stories. For example, eight of us were sitting in a yurt one evening after a day of biking. We were just kicking back and talking about nothing in particular. One person mentions that he connects well with older people, and how they trust him. I believe he was specifically referring to his grandparents. Another participant finds a story in his stash of experiences that illustrates him as someone who is also trusted by “older people.” He plugs his story into the conversational domino train, so to speak, and takes over the conversation with his tale of how he used to work for an older gentleman who had health issues, and how he became good friends with this man and a trusted family confidant. While he is telling his story, everyone else in the group has that mental machine running at full speed also. If during his story he mentions something and someone else has a similar story, then upon his completion the person will/can/may try to plug into the conversational domino train with their story. So, for instance, let’s say that during his story about working for this older gentlemen, he expressed that the man was a university professor and had a beautiful collection of old books that the city had asked him to donate to a special collection in the library. Those listening to the story will simply be scanning for points of connection as they listen. Do they have a story or experience with a beautiful collection of books, or the city asking for a donation, or helping the elderly? They can plug in at any point to which they can find a tie, it simply depends upon them having an experience to connect with. It’s how conversation works. This is why when we speak with someone with whom we have things in common the conversation is much smoother than it is with someone who has different interests. I once went out with a guy who did very little outdoor recreation. The date went fine, but I was having a hard time finding common ground for discussion. We stopped by his apartment for him to grab something, and his roommate was there. As I sat and made conversation with his roommate, I found that he was an avid outdoorsman. Our conversation flew. We talked non-stop, with no awkward moments of trying to fill the silence, while his roommate found whatever it was he was looking for. The contrast for me was so stark that I still remember the pretty meaningless event years later. Unless we are skilled conversationalists who are not constantly stuck inside our own heads, and we understand how to ask questions and delve into another’s experiences, the conversation will die upon running out of common ground, or it will drone on as one person talks only about themselves.

So, let’s go back to this space where someone in the conversation is telling a story, our minds are scanning for a way to plug into what they are talking about, and let’s say that your scanning brings up a story about you and the city making a request from you (so you can plug in there) but your story involves a nefarious plot where you were caught stealing a book, let’s say. When this experience/story comes to mind you will automatically scan it to decide if telling this story will allow you to maintain an acceptable “face” with the people who are in the conversation. So, for example, you may be with a group of friends for whom stealing a book would be funny or acceptable – in which case you would choose to share the story because you could maintain the face you are comfortable with within this group. On the other hand, if you were with your parents, for instance, this may not be a story you would choose to tell. So, the mind is constantly scanning for ways to socially engage, but it is also protecting your socially constructed face by sifting through which stories you will share with which audiences. This is managing face with your stories.

Within the outdoor recreation folk group, or in my case, a group of my friends, stories are always being told. We create stories with every adventure and as I started listening closely and dissecting their stories I started to find how our stories create the masks we wear.

In our society, it is not looked upon favorably to walk up to others and begin talking about how cool you are and bragging about the things you’re good at. If you do that you automatically repel the people around you and you lose face for not understanding how the ritual works. It’s a ritually destructive move for your ‘face’ as a competent conversationalist. On the other hand, it IS perfectly acceptable for you to share a story that promotes a positive self-image and provides proof, through action, of your skills and accomplishments.

For example, one day my son and I and a friend were riding the ziplines at the Park City Olympic Park. We were racing and my son and I were teasing each other about who won and who lost. He claimed he lost because a branch hit him. This triggered the “domino train” for my friend who then started telling a story about being hit by a branch while he was riding at high speeds on a trail on the Hawaiian islands. As he told the story of biking, in what sounded like jungle, and the branch that struck out and gave him a vicious bite, he established through his tale that 1. He is serious enough about mountain biking that he will partake of the sport even in remote places. 2. That he has a certain skill set to ride in the conditions he described, and 3. That he was a little extreme because he could claim bite marks by a plant that had actually left scars. He was able to relay information about himself through the story in a form that was acceptable and starts to build his face, or reinforce the face we already know.

Within the outdoor recreation folk group there are a number of sorting processes going on as people talk among themselves. No one ever spells these out, they are the unwritten sorting taking place in our minds. One of these is that as we tell our stories we are imparting information about our legitimacy inside the group. The trails or areas we refer to, the sports we participate in, how often we participate and at what level tell the listener if we are a poser, a beginner, a weekend warrior or an expert. This presentation of self is enfolded in a story that is told to relive the past, share an experience, encourage, share awe, or any number of other functions, but couched in that primary purpose is also a load of information about the teller. We see, in action, that person providing proof as to his/her abilities and interactions with the world. This is one form of self-presentation among many. The stories confirm to ourselves and to others who we are.

So, if this is the case, and we are subconsciously or automatically sorting and editing our stories anyway, what if we managed them?

“McAdams, in his paper Psychology of Life Stories, says, “Life stories are psychosocial constructions, co-authored by the person himself or herself and the cultural context within which that person’s life is embedded and given meaning. As such, individual life stories reflect cultural values and norms, including assumptions about gender, race and class.”

Stories organize and show our motivations. They show us in action. People act for the sake of what they want and what they believe in, so stories show us rather than tell us a great deal about ourselves and others. They also allow us to show others who we are, and they portray the culture and world that we live in as well.

Man, we can sure get a lot of information out of a simple story. And, there’s more, so much more…but for this week, your challenge is to write out a list of your best qualities. Then find a story that provides proof of you exhibiting these qualities. If you feel you are a loyal person, find a story of a time you showed loyalty to someone. If you feel you are honest, find a story that exemplifies this quality in you. If you can’t find any examples, then you get to consider that maybe you are not as loyal or honest as you like to believe, and you can make life and living adjustments accordingly. But as you find the stories of you living up to these qualities you will see how they can be used to define and clarify yourself, not only to others but also to you. You may even want to ask your friends about their most memorable stories with you and then take a look at what those stories show you doing. Our identities develop as a result of our social experiences and our relationships with others. In fact, identity itself is a story. But, as we have discussed in many other episodes, we get to manage those stories. Our power is in the acceptance of the messiness and realness of our stories (episode 8) because we can’t truly thrive without an acceptance and love of ourselves, and we cannot give what is not ours. But our stories are uniquely ours. Your story is uniquely yours. You have a unique voice and you can only tell the story that you know how to tell, but that’s exactly the story that should be told. That story comes from a complex social construct, but your identity is formed and reinforced by the stories you create and tell about yourself. Manage those stories by focusing on the ones that exemplify your strengths, not the stories that compare or discourage.

Have fun this week out there telling your stories. Remember that what we focus on is what we create. Focus on the stories of your awesome moments! I promise – you have them. See you next week on the Love Your Story podcast.

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Holding Hands–Reaching out to the Characters in YOUR Story.

I lay by my son as he falls asleep. He curls his small cherub 4-year-old body next to mine and he wraps his little hand around my thumb. “I love you too,” he says. Then follows it with, “Say that to me.”

As children we come into the world ready to grab hands, but having a hand only large enough to grab a finger – we start by wrapping five tiny fingers around the larger one of a caregiver –we do it without hesitation as we figure out how to reach out and connect, hold on to one another. In the case of my son, we even ask for what we need. As we get older we are much more careful about breaking those boundaries. We are careful to stay in our own spaces and too often we forget to reach out to one another. Today’s podcast is about connecting with touch: it’s about holding hands and how human touch links us, literally closes the gap between people, and how important that is – to all of us.

Last week we spoke about random acts of kindness and the stories we can participate in by keeping our eyes open for small, kind, daily acts. This week, we’re talking about holding hands.

There is a photo of me with my two sons, the youngest sitting on my lap, my hands unintentionally wrapped with his, our fingers interlaced, my thumbs caressing the backs of his soft, sweet, pudgy, three-year-old hand. It’s not something we pay attention to, just something we do.

In another memory, we cut our way across the Albertson’s parking lot and he hollers, “Mom, hold my hand so I don’t get run over.” His voice is high and sweet, and as quickly as I take his hand he decides he wants to brave it on his own and practice stepping over cracks.

A dance takes place as we interact. We reach out, we pull back, we want to know we are not alone, but we don’t want to be held back either. It’s a tricky two-step.

To hold someone’s hand is to connect: to offer friendship, protection, comfort, to make your way undivided through a crowd, to guide, to show affection. The Beatles sang “I want to hold your ha a and.” And the world sang with them.

In a world where we can feel alone in a sea of a million people, the chance to hold another’s hand can be a gift, an anchor, a place where for that moment you are not alone. For that moment you are joining forces. A joining of hands is a human action that allows us to connect, communicate, and exchange energy in a meaningful way. For however long the moment lasts we are unafraid to touch. And that is a beautiful moment.

I sat on a plane, flying home from Ohio, after our final weekend in an emotional intelligence workshop that had lasted 3 months. The people in that workshop had become family, and I lived thousands of miles away, in Utah. There was a good chance I wouldn’t see most of them again. We spent months working together on projects and learning, through the good and the bad, how to work together, play team, and love each other. After plenty of annoyance, quiet thoughts of frustration, numbers of calls to my life coach, I am proud to say that I finally came to a place of loving each of my team members for exactly where they were, taking them for their good and their bad and loving them in their own space – without judgment. It’s not very often that one gets to a fully loving consensus with a group of 44 different people – I’d never felt anything like it, and to leave them, like high school graduation, required an acceptance that things would never again be like they had been, because they couldn’t. Remember episode 11 and how we can’t step in the same river twice. As I felt the wheels of the plane lift off the tarmac it was the official separation from Ohio as I flew back to Utah, into the light-blue fall sky and away from the place, the people, the experiences. I reached across the seat and grabbed the hand of my friend who was sitting next to the window. The center seat was empty except for our hands clasped together as the flight gained altitude. Her grip was firm and comforting as I was present to the moment of leaving and the tears that ran down my cheek. We said nothing, just grasped hands as the wheels left the tarmac.

Human chains have been formed to demonstrate solidarity in a cause. Chains have been created that included millions of human beings, linking hands to boycott nuclear missiles, to call for peace, to seek for independence. Children link hands for a game of Red Rover – when the group is successful the chain in unbreakable. We hold hands during funerals, marches, vigils, and weddings. When the World Trade towers collapsed I watched people leaping from the impossible height, hand in hand. Falling together…together.

A couple months ago Annie Schmidt disappeared while hiking in Portland. She was from Utah, a beautiful young lady who had recently moved to Oregon. I look at her pictures, the gorgeous young woman full of life, and I am devastated. I know a bit about her family and I can’t help but put myself in her mother’s place, in her father’s place, and I struggle to hold back the tears. I think of my son who was diagnosed with Leukemia this summer. He is also a beautiful human being, a gorgeous, strong young man with a champion spirit, a solid heart, and a 5-star smile. He doesn’t complain as he fights. He gets up, eventually, and tries to go about his day in a meaningful fashion. My mind once or twice has looked into the ugly abyss of the possibility of losing him, but I push it away as quickly as it appears because my eyes tear up and my throat closes. I watch the news and the Sioux Indians fighting against the pipeline being pushed through their land, peeling back the plains the wild buffalo still run on in North Dakota. People are out there fighting for the things they love. They are fighting for their children, they are fighting for their relationships, they are fighting for their land, they are fighting for their lives. This world is not for the weak. The journey to create and preserve relationships is not for the weak. The journey of fighting disease is not for the weak. The journey of standing up for your rights and the things you think are important, against often what feels like unbeatable odds is not for the weak. The journey to keep putting one foot in front of the other when someone you love leaves you through death or some other reason. This is not for the weak either. So as we try to find our strength in the midst of our battles, hold hands. Hold hands because the feeling of having someone’s hand close around your own is the forming of a chain – linking two people together in love, in support, in joy, in being, in power.

Between lovers, couples, family, the human race, holding hands remains a sign of intimacy. Simple, but powerful. So much is said, is felt in a gesture. From intimately intertwined fingers, to the grasp across an airline seat, to a train of people tying themselves to one another so no one gets lost, to crossing the road with a child…there are a hundred reasons to hold hands, but they all come down to connecting, and connecting is why we are here. Thich Nhat Hanh said, “We are here to awaken from the illusion of our separateness.” While this illusion is understandably difficult to break through, reaching out to hug someone, to hold a hand, physically bridges the gap for a moment.

Martha Beck, International Life Coach, said, “Relationships are the most important human experience available to us. I realized in my twenties that the meaning of life is not about what happens to people; it’s about what happens between people. Learning to connect with each other, to experience empathy, to step outside our own experience, and to experience love in all its forms—these, I believe, are the experiences for which we became human.”

In Galatians 6:2 it says, “Bear ye one another’s burdens…” When we reach out to grasp another person, to touch in a world filled with apparent separation. When we reach out to lift, to comfort, even just to connect with the squeeze of a hand there is an exchange of energy. An exchange that says, you’re not alone.

Driving home from Brianhead after a weekend of painful bliss on the mountain bike, there is a young blond child on her father’s shoulders staring at me from a billboard, her hands raised above her head, the American flag grasped in her pudgy fingers, the words UNITY blaring in black block letters. I’m listening to the Disney Spirit soundtrack and there is an orchestral crescendo as I speed by. It is moving in its own way.

I am returning from the Fat Tire Festival at Brianhead where along with seven others I was shuttled to and from some of the best mountain bike trails in the West. Thunder Mountain, seven miles of intermediate to advanced up and down sequences through and above red hoodoos and alpine canyons, was amazingly scenic, but the hills were kicking my butt.

Jason, a much better rider than I, peddled behind me yelling, “Shift down! You can do it! Go! Go! Go!” So I pushed harder even when I wanted to stop and cry. I become more because he stayed with me and reached out.

At major junctions and intersections on the trail the faster riders in our group stopped and waited for those in the rear. It was not required, but it united us in a way where, though at times we rode with no one else in sight, we knew we were not alone. We were making sure no one got lost, took the wrong path, got hurt, felt left out.

In Sunday School, or was it first grade, the teacher held up one popsicle stick and easily broke it. She then added five or six to the stack and the pile could no longer be broken. As I drove down the interstate, four lanes on each side, I wondered how many people were crying? How many people were excited about where they were headed as they sped along? How many people were alone or lonely? How five or six, or even two of us are stronger together than just a single stick resisting the pressures.

In the shuttle van and on the trail there were packets of energy gel and peanut butter shared back and forth as energy waned. People from the group were taking my photo at scenic overlooks and offering to send copies. Synergy, the interaction of different things so that their combined effect is greater than the sum of individual effects, is an exponential empowerment. If I give what I have to give, and you give what you have to give, we both have more. And if I give and you do not, I still have more because I become more than I was before I gave, and we are both richer for it. When I reach out to you, and you reach out to me, and we pull each other up when we are face-down in the arena (remember from episode 7) we become stronger because we are not alone.

Near Ogden Utah there is a billboard of Mother Teresa her hands reaching out to an unseen other, the words “reaching beyond yourself” emblazoned below her picture. I scratch a note to call my friend that just had her baby and see how she is doing. I’m thinking about the givers and takers of the world. There are times we will need the help, someone to encourage us up the hill, take us to dinner, call and check on us, take our hand; and there are times when we are lucky enough to be the giver. It takes both.

There is a beautiful piece of thin navy paper, an iridescent blue-green feather pasted down one side, a poem entitled “The Gift of an Angel by Your Side,” on the other, a small gold and blue pin with the words “blue bird of happiness” attached at the top, a hundred dollar bill and a friend’s handwriting beside the pin that says “Fly!”. It was handed to me during a difficult transitional time in a plain brown envelope with a hug and the direction to open when needed.

When your butt is kicked and a rider on the trail offers you her packet of GU, you love that rider. When you’ve taken all you can take and you’re about to bonk, that energy gel is not just a .99 cent package of rice syrup, potassium and caffeine, it’s pure gold, and sometimes it saves your life. Sometimes just knowing there is someone that cares enough to ride behind you hollering “You can do it!” says as much as a billboard. Sometimes the human race shines. And sometimes reaching out and holding another person’s hand says more than words because it says, in a gesture, I am with you, you are not alone, and we can cross this dangerous street together. And sometimes when someone reaches for your hand they are saying “I love you too, now say that to me.”

We come programmed to hold onto one another. We arrive hardwired to grasp hands, and if we are lucky and wise, we don’t lose our grip.

Your challenge for this week is to reach out more than you usually would. Use your wonderful hands to close the gap between you and someone you love, someone who needs you, or just because you want to connect. Bridge the gap.

Have fun telling and creating your stories this week, and I’ll see you next week on the next episode of Love Your Story Podcast. PS – Pass this podcast onto your friends and go to our website: www.loveyourstorypodcast.com and sign up for our weekly challenge/inspiration.

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Random Acts of Kindness – Creating a Mystery

The Dalai Lama said, “Right from the moment of our birth, we are under the care and kindness of our parents, and then later on in our life, when we are oppressed by sickness and become old we are again dependent on the kindness of others. Since at the beginning and the end of our lives we are so dependent on other’s kindness, how can it be that in the middle we neglect kindness toward others?”

Last week I told a story about floating down the San Juan river and how the people and experiences in our lives become touchstones of meaning and milestones for us. This week we’ll talk about why kindness is more important than ever and how we create our own mystery stories.

In the timeline of the history of the world, our day is unlike any other. The speed at which we communicate and transact business is instantaneous compared with past forms of communication that ranged from only being unable to communicate with someone that was directly in front of you, to currier by horse or pigeon which could take weeks or months depending upon how far away the communication was being sent, to telegraphs, to home phones, sitting in front of the large home radio, television, or computer and eventually the internet and the crazy small devices that we can carry with us everywhere now. This of course, leaves out the eras taken to develop symbols and alphabets in the first place to be able to communicate outside of pictographs and petroglyphs. It’s been a long road. We are so connected now, with so many people, that the common person with a cell phone has a monumental voice to tell their stories to the entire on-line world with a reach completely unprecedented. Social media has given rise to the voice of the masses – to anyone who wants to speak. There is no more silence, no more getting permission, no more waiting for the powers-that-be to approve what the masses know. Today with a cell phone and a computer you are your own publisher, your own promoter. You can be connected to almost anyone, almost anywhere, even someone on the other side of the world. So, here’s the irony: this is also the time the Huffington Post called, “The Age of Loneliness.” There are lots of reports and articles written on this subject, how we don’t like to admit we’re lonely because it’s a stigma associated with losers and loners, how the local community once revered and honored as a place where people knew and supported one another has become instead often a place where everyone is disconnected because they are so busy moving fast, or tapping in virtually to people they will never see. There are numerous reasons our society has become disconnected, all while appearing to be more connected than ever, but without this sense of community and personal connectedness, we are often left feeling lonely and lost. Our stories have more moments where we stand in a crowd and feel completely alone. I have felt this more times than I have tracked.

The other day I was listening to a podcast and the speaker pointed out research that showed that when we leave our cell phones on the table during lunch or during a conversation, that people will not delve into deep discussions. Conversation stays on a surface level because all participants know that they can be interrupted at any time, and sharing on deep personal levels is a vulnerable and personal space that requires one’s full attention. This is just one example of the many, many ways that technology creates a lack of connection.

So why am I talking about our disconnection, our loneliness, our lack of community… not because I think we should all throw our phones away or disconnect our internet, but because there are little things we can do every day to change the disconnect, one act at a time, one generated story plot at a time.

Gandhi said, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”

Thomas S. Monson, Prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints said, “The Savior taught His disciples, “For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it” (Luke [9:24]).

He goes on, “I believe the Savior is telling us that unless we lose ourselves in service to others, there is little purpose to our own lives. Those who live only for themselves eventually shrivel up and figuratively lose their lives, while those who lose themselves in service to others grow and flourish—and in effect save their lives.”

Or in other words, to write the best possible life story, where the hero’s life is saved in the end, that hero’s journey is going to need to be filled with a lot of looking outward, with kindness, with service, with moments of creating goodness for the sake of another. This is what makes the hero, and apparently, what saves his life in the end.

Did you know that Random Act of Kindness week is coming February 12-18? Neither did I, but I found the countdown clock and it’s drawing nearer with each passing second. On Randomactsofkindness.org they have lesson plans and calendars with RAK ideas for every day of the year. They are the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation. Who knew there was such a thing? But thank God there are people who are out there wanting to pour kindness into the world. Are you one of them?

I remember the first time I heard about RAK as a thing. It was in the 80’s and someone had gone around putting quarters in parking meters so folks wouldn’t get parking tickets. “What a great idea,” I thought. “So simple, so fun, and it has a really big WOW factor.” I’d never heard of any such thing. It was an ah-ha moment. I’ve grown to really like RAK’s because it’s become a bit of a game where the results are unknown. I pay for the guy behind me in the drive-thru – I have no idea how it will affect him. But I can bet, at the very least, he’s going to feel a little warm and fuzzy, and that’s going to translate into better thoughts and actions on his part. Maybe he’s had a hard day at work and he’s tired and grumpy. Maybe my $10 secret donation will change how he interacts with his kids or his wife when he gets home. Maybe he’ll pass it on by doing something nice for someone else. Maybe he was down to his last $10 before pay day, no way of knowing any of this, but you can bet that it’s adding joy to the world and you get to imagine what your butterfly effect might be.

On the About Us page on Randomactsofkindness.org it says:

“We know how important kindness is because we’ve all felt how important it is. But that’s not the only reason we know. Scientific studies have shown that random acts of kindness are good for you! They improve your life satisfaction by increasing your sense of belonging and self- worth, and they improve your health by decreasing your anxiety, depression and blood pressure. And here’s the best part: these benefits apply to the giver of kindness, the recipient of kindness, and anyone who witnesses the act! Every act improves the lives of at least three people.”

Looking beyond one’s self is sometimes not the first thing that comes to mind. When things are going well for us for we are often caught up in doing what we want. When we hit hard times it’s usually not even on our radar, because when we are suffering we are in a space of self-involvement. We hurt, so we focus on ourselves and what we can do to relieve our own pain. Ironically, sometimes (in fact, quite often) the best medicine is to look outward. To quit thinking about ourselves and to focus on others. It has a high success rate for getting us out of our own heads. It’s exactly what Gandhi and Christ were talking about.

I have another quote on my fridge from John Wesley, it says, “Do all the good you can. By all the means you can. In all the ways you can. At all the times you can. To all the people you can. As long as ever you can.” Even reading this quote makes me happy because the idea is a simple thought that breaks through any barriers or excuses why kindness shouldn’t be the response to any given situation. Every time I read it I smile, I get clear, and I think about what kindness I can show.

I’ve been trying over the past 3-4 months to really focus on random acts of kindness and sometimes it’s really hard to find one. So, I changed it to just ‘acts of kindness.’ They didn’t have to be random–that’s a little easier. Then my son proffered the idea that nothing is random according to his V-sauce research, so we called it, “unplanned acts of kindness.” But then I started feeling like in order to count them that they needed to be a kindness we wouldn’t usually do, and things like smiles and holding doors are things we would usually do. So it got more complicated and more complicated. When we’d had a hard day of finding random or ‘unplanned’ acts of kindness we began reporting back on simple things like going out of our way to have a more involved conversation with the checkout lady at the grocery store, or rushing to fill one another’s glasses at the dinner table so we could count that as an act of kindness. Suffice it to say, we are a work in progress…but what I think matters most, is that we pay enough attention, every day, to being just a little kinder and looking for that opportunity to add something kind to the world. It probably doesn’t matter what you name it, how big it is, or what it looks like, what matters is the way of living that it generates. A space of looking outward, of staying aware of who needs help, a habit of being thoughtful. Now I’m not saying I’m remembering every day – I’m not. I keep a little list on my phone so I can get excited when I look back and see all the good I’ve done, but also so I can track when I lose a week or two because I haven’t been paying attention. Like any good habit it takes practice. I think the key is like Rudyard Kipling said, “Delight in the little things.” Realize that by “small and simple things are great things brought to pass.” (Book of Mormon; Alma 37:6) Don’t let the idea of random acts of kindness overwhelm. One day I was walking my dog and I found a man trying to transfer a bunch of Halloween balloons from his car into a church. Instead, the balloons were blowing across the church lawn dancing and popping. I helped him round up the strays and secure them in the church. On another dog walk, there was a young man trying to stuff arm-fulls of raked leaves into a garbage bag he had hanging from the tree. He couldn’t get the bag to stay open the leaves just landed at his feet, all his hard work undone. I had the opportunity to hold his bag for him. It was a simple five minutes. I didn’t have to create it, I just had to be present and take the opportunity. There are probably more of those around us than we realize once we start paying attention.

As I mentioned earlier I often have a difficult time finding RAK ideas, so when I found Brad Aronson’s102 RAK suggestions on his web page, I stole some of them to add to my own list. Feel free to adapt any of these so they work in your world. Here’s a dozen ideas to get you started.

Take a few minutes to support a young person’s dream. Find a youth in your circle of family and friends and talk with them about what they want to do. Empower and believe in them.
Create a holiday to celebrate someone you love. Brad created a “Mia Appreciation Day” for his wife. Your appreciation day can be as simple as declaring the date of the holiday and writing a note.
Put paper hearts or smiley faces in a box. On each cutout write something that is special about your lover or a good friend. Give her the box and tell her to pull out a heart or smiley face anytime she gets lonely or wants a pick me up.
Find opportunities to give compliments. It costs nothing, takes no time, and could make someone’s entire day. Don’t just think it. Say it. Today at work an older gentleman walked up to me and said, “I’m too old to be hitting on you, but you look great today. I love that sweater.” What an unexpected and appreciated comment that was for me.
Share overheard compliments. The other day someone told me how impressed they were with one of my sons. I shared this compliment with him when I got home.
Start a habit of writing a short note of appreciation every morning when you open your in-box. Send it before you get started on your day.
I make-up zip-lock baggies of snacks to give to homeless people if I run across them during my time downtown.
Make a phone call to someone you need to Love Bomb and just tell them how much you love them. You’d be surprised how fabulous this goes over.
One day I had a library fine and when I ran out to my car to get my wallet someone paid it for me. It was all very secret.
Really listen. Not Talk. Just listen.
Pick up a thoughtful, but small gift for someone you see daily, but for whom this action would be an unexpected treat. Just a favorite candy bar or some small item that reminds you of them, like their favorite drink.
Forgive a debt of someone who owes you. Maybe you paid for Jenny’s lunch and she’s promised to pay you back. When she tries just let her know if was a gift.

Once you get started on this wonderful game it can get exciting. Often when you do an act of kindness to someone, they are inspired to pay it forward. What is your kindness creating in the world? It’s exciting to think about because you can’t know the specifics. It’s wonderful to imagine the affect one act can set into motion, the stone thrown in the pond, the domino tipped into the domino line, but you can’t really know what story you are writing. What you can know is that you are becoming a person who lives with more kindness, a person who creates kindness, a person who might just touch a lonely soul that was feeling desperately disconnected in a culture where far too many of us are lonely.

One day as I paid for the man’s dinner behind me in the Taco Bell drive-thru (a Chalupa is my one fast food indulgence) I realized that the attendant to whom I gave the money could just pocket it and no one would know the difference. When I brought this up with my coach, with whom I was reporting my RAKs to, she said, even if the attendant pocketed the money, you put the intent into the world to create a kindness – you affected the attendant, you put kindness into action. It doesn’t have to turn out the way you plan, but your intent, your energy, your giving has gone out into the world. This made me feel a little better about the idea that I couldn’t control all aspects of the game. In fact, it added a whole dimension to the idea that we cannot know what events a RAK puts into motion.

Kindness as a way of being. A mysterious game of fun and giving. One small effort to combat the age of loneliness. However you look at unplanned, or random, or planned and completely unrandom acts of kindness, there’s not really a downside. It’s like writing a mystery novel and you will never know all the details of the story, but you will be the force for good.

This week’s challenge, yup, you guessed it, try to find an act of kindness every day this week and see if you can’t start a new habit! Log in to www.loveyourstorypodcast.com and share with us what you did and what stories you created in the process. We’d love to hear about it. Have fun creating your stories and we’ll see you next Wednesday on the next episode of the Love Your Story podcast.

Love Your Story: Recent Episodes

Lori Lee

accountability #improveyourenergy #youareworthy #designyourlife #change

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5 - Having the faith to step out and take action

4 - Understanding that our trials and failures are really our greatest tools for building our character and refining us.

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1 - It's How We Do What We Do.

2 - Be the Miracle

3 - Get off the Bench

1 - as Brene Brown stated, we have to believe we are worthy of love and belonging.

2 Once we get that we are worthy of it, we much work to love and accept ourselves - this is what Love Your Story is all about - coming to love who you are and what you’ve been through, no matter how messy the path has been.

3 With these under our belt we begin to access divine love, which helps us to love ourselves even more, to love others better, to begin to feel God’s divine love for us.

1 - It’s a sacred space. It’s often a private space, one where the deepest details are kept in our vaults for we can’t bear to show too much humanness, our mistakes, our heart ache, our private travails, our crawling, our moments of shaking our fist at heaven.

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