It’s All About Relationships: Recent Episodes
Justin M. Bird
A simple podcast, undertaking the complex task of reverse engineering your complex relationships back into simple treats. Gnome sayin?
It's a stereotype that Christians are judgmental. Here is my take on what judgement looks like to those who take upon themselves the name of Christ.Get affordable, continuous help for those chronic pain points in your key relationships here: https://bit.ly/monthlyrelationshipcoaching
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Is porn primarily a male problem? Or did the advent of screens just bring males up to speed with that age old, primarily female, habit of scrolling through stories in the feed of her mind, which brew dissatisfaction with spouse, and tend toward unreasonable expectations? His initial steps toward mating (and infidelity, in kind) are toward beauty. Her initial steps toward mating (and infidelity, in kind) are toward competence. Therefore, his porn is picture porn. And her porn is story porn.
There is a short version, and long version, of this episode.
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Is porn primarily a male problem? Or did the advent of screens just bring males up to speed with that age old, primarily female, habit of scrolling through stories in the feed of her mind, which brew dissatisfaction with spouse, and tend toward unreasonable expectations? His initial steps toward mating (and infidelity, in kind) are toward beauty. Her initial steps toward mating (and infidelity, in kind) are toward competence. Therefore, his porn is picture porn. And her porn is story porn.
There is a short version, and long version, of this episode.
Get affordable, continuous help for those chronic pain points in your key relationships here: https://bit.ly/monthlyrelationshipcoaching
Extend our reach
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The Relationship textbook
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💻 Ebook: https://amzn.to/37JmXo4
Merchandise
https://www.eekbin.us
Podcast
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The key to understanding Isaiah, and everything else, is the masculine|feminine couplet mentioned by Jared Halverson, in this week's episode.
Jared Halverson is one of the most popular voices commenting on the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saint’s weekly scripture study program called, “Come Follow Me.” In this episode, I comment on this week's episode of his podcast, called "Unshaken." We go over 2 Nephi 2 11-19 for Feb 26 - Mar 3, where Nephi quotes Isaiah the whole time.
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This bit from the LDS Come Follow Me segment: 2 Nephi 6-10 | Feb 19, 2024 is an add on to the previous podcast. We discover a remarkable similarity between 2 Nephi 7:11 and the Katy Perry song, Firework.
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Thank you for joining us for another commentary on the content from the LDS Come Follow Me curriculum. My friend, Paige, and I discuss 2 Nephi 6-10 for Feb 19-25, 2024. Don’t miss the bonus episode posted just after this! It’s only 7 min, and it does for the mind what a simmering curry does for the nose.
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This is a completely organic conversation with a female friend of mine about what modesty means to her. She is 100% vulnerable, so show love 💕 She shares how her choice in clothing is a reflection of her mindset. Her sharing is authentic, courageous and blindingly brilliant ✨
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Every week, millions of members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints worldwide read and discuss the same chapters of scripture at the same time. Prompts in a manual titled "Come Follow Me" spark individual connections with heaven, friends and family.
Paige and I aren't biblical scholars, but we are construction projects in Christ's portfolio, and we're glad to share authentic snapshots and updates of His work as we read along with you.
This week's chapters are from the Book of Mormon, and one of them is my favorite chapter in all of scripture: 2 Nephi 2.
Paige and I chat about why God forsakes us, how eternity is stretched as we sit still; we discuss how Disney can be a great temptation, what polarity has to do with man's agency, and why nothing could be created without it. We don't discuss this directly, but PUT IT IN YOUR HEAD: the opposites mentioned in 2 Nephi are masculinity and femininity, their interplay is what the scriptural Bridegroom & bride metaphor point to, and our exaltation is what they create.
Here's the bit about Disney (within the first 3 minutes;)
https://youtu.be/DCS6t6NUAGQ?si=is2mmErbfKbrwfJm
...and the bit about femininity being like water:
https://youtu.be/nX8ONTCCeCM
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Introducing Paige. She is a woman, and she's bringing both femininity and dynamism to this work of understanding masculine and feminine dynamics at scale.
Still influenced heavily by Byron Katie, we launch from Katie's statement that "the world is the reflection of the mind." Paige exposes my lingering bitterness from divorce, fields my big bold man jokes adeptly, and yawns while I bounce excitedly between all the places I see the A-B | B-A relationship pattern. And somewhere in there we address the fact that the characteristic of reflecting is feminine, and we discuss why.
Probably she should have her own show, and I should be her occasional guest, but ... this is a man's world, and I'm the man 😘
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I'm chatting with my friend, Paige, and she says she has a sore spot in her relationship with her 10 yo son. We do Byron Katie's work together, and the soreness turns to silliness. Can you hear your own sore spot with a loved one in this dialoge? You can also turn yours to laughter with The Work.
Byron Katie has come to end suffering. You can find her @ thework.com
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I share some lyrics in my church culture with which I no longer connect, now that I am connected with Christ and I know how that feels and how it is sustained. Giving credit where credit is due is critical to sustainable relationships. Accounting isn't just for business, and in the business of discipleship in the Church of Jesus Christ, this bit of accounting is essential to understand and get right.
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The Grand Design can be visualized a number of ways. One of those ways is the torus.
In this episode, YouTuber Hypha helps us see the torus all around us, and as us, while I show its congruence with the doctrine and purposes of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHlRvwA_kGU&t=19s
quotes from Hypha:
"Everything in the universe is one single thing, and all the smaller parts of it, however insignificant they may seem, are crucial and essential."
"Torus is the form of flowing energy dynamics at every scale of existence. It is the blue print by which nature forms energy into matter."
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As I was singing Hymn 183 today, I thought,“Yes, we take the symbols of flesh and blood in remembrance of Christ’s suffering. But that just completes the circle, which began when He came to earth and went to the cross in remembrance of our suffering.God said, “who will go down to this earth, aka hell, to learn what I know, so that you can become like Me?” And a bunch of us raised our hands. And we came down, and immediately we began bleeding, and dying and being torn.And God saw our faith, and loved us, and said, “I’m gonna go down, right in the middle, and to the very bottom of where you are, to be with you, so that you know that I have not asked anything of you which I am not willing to do.”And so He loved us first, in remembrance of our suffering; and now we love Him last, in remembrance of His. And this is how the two of us become one.”--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wheretwobecomeone/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wheretwobecomeone/support
The veil is Christ's flesh. But it is also flesh itself, and the mother's body, making Christ the Divine Feminine. Explore this full circle connection, and the depths of Hebrews 10:20 with Jared Halverson and I, during this week's LDS Come Follow Me lesson, open to all Christians.00:00 Intro03:48 Hebrews 10:20, Christ’s flesh is the veil05:45 Flesh is the veil08:28 Woman is the realm of flesh incarnate14:05 Mother is the veil24:45 Christ is the Divine FeminineJared's podcast: Unshaken, Hebrews 7-13 (part 2): Author & Finisher of Our FaithGet affordable, continuous help for those chronic pain points in your key relationships here: https://bit.ly/monthlyrelationshipcoachingExtend our reach✔️ PayPal: https://paypal.me/eekbin?country.x=US&locale.x=en_US✔️ Venmo: @justinmbirdThe Relationship textbook📘 Paperback: https://bit.ly/theonerelationship💻 Ebook: https://amzn.to/37JmXo4Merchandisehttps://www.eekbin.usPodcasthttps://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wheretwobecomeoneBe with mehttps://www.instagram.com/wheretwobecomeonehttps://www.facebook.com/relationshipconsultingservices/https://www.linkedin.com/in/justinmbird/
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To think celestial, as LDS prophet Russell M. Nelson admonishes, we must turn our thinking around. Nobody does this better than Byron Katie, as we shall see in this replay of a workshop done wiss ze guuur mens 🖤❤️💛
https://thework.com/
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Ephesians 5 has some of the most precise and controversial commentary on how to create the Ultimate Husband and the Perfect Bride. And all of it points toward Christ.
Part 2 Come Follow Me commentary on Jared Halverson's Unshaken podcast.
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I can't quit Jared Halverson.
Let's shake down some of the most important versus in scripture! Spoiler alert, I don't even get to them.
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I'm trimming down the top 3 "Come Follow Me" podcasts this week from nearly 7 hours to one long gym session, or two "at least I made it" gym sessions, for your convenience.
It was tough to do, but I've taken the best insights from the book of Galatians in the New Testament for the week of Sep 25 - Oct 1 from the podcasts "Unshaken" with Jared Halverson, "DON'T MISS THIS" with Dave Butler and Grace Freeman, and "Scripture Central" with Tyler Griffen and Taylor Halverson, so you can taste the flavors of the best LDS Come Follow Me material on the internet, without having to sit through all 7 hours yourself! I hope you enjoy!
We’re in Galatians, learning to see how a divisive and masculine law establishes the beautification of feminine mercy. We’re watching Her encompass, fulfill and increase Him, rather than drain, diminish and end Him.
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The German word for "simple" is einfach. "Ein" means "one" and "fach" means "subject." Therefore, to simplify life and relationships, we must see the "one subject" permeating it all. Join me on this meditative reflection of the 'simplicity on the other side of complexity.'
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Christians are the brides of Christ. In Romans 7, Paul explains who we were married to before Christ, and it isn't pretty 💀 I suppose our first husband would say he was just being neutral, but it sure felt doomed from the start! He was good for something, though, I guess: he sure makes our current Bridegroom look like a Savior 🤩😍🥰
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Since you were little, playing with your toys and all growing up, you've been unable to rest, because a nagging question in the back of your head wouldn't leave you alone. That question is, "How is mortality like a woman?"
After this episode, you will be able to play in peace.
01:34 conception
13:00 we are all in need and receiving
20:00 no taking by force
24:25 spiritual and temporal dependence
28:23 politics typifies female temporal dependence
29:29 even if you swap the genders, you keep the dynamic
30:16 procreation typifies female temporal dependence
33:40 female temporal dependence typifies male spiritual dependence
34:46 spiritual dependence is more critical than physical dependence
35:30 modern feminists are temporally what atheists are spiritually
38:19 masculinity stops the bleeding
50:54 an empty spot only “he” can fill
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Comparing the life cycle of a single emotion with the Plan of Salvation, for members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
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Someone saw my logo and said, "you need to check out Jared Halverson's talk on proving contraries." So I did. And it's SO good! Jared hosts the popular “Come Follow Me” podcast titled "Unshaken". In this fireside, originally given for the Highland Utah East Stake, called the Seeking Truth Devotional, Halverson makes sense of the AB|BA paradox and gives traction to that universal relationship formula, in a way that I haven't been able to yet. He will do more to help you find balance, and navigate this polarizing society than any other teacher in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, that I've heard so far. Listen to my commentary on one of the best talks I've ever heard.
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Taylor Halverson and Tyler Griffin cover the biblical chapters which contain the most important idea in Christianity: what it means to be one with God and with each other, in this week's Come Follow Me assignment of John 14–17 for Jun 5 - 11. I add my ideas about oneness, which include some reference to sex. May not be suitable for some children.
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On this recent podcast with Hank Smith and John Bytheway, Dr. Matthew Townsend nails so perfectly what we’re to do with the paradoxical nature of this one, universal relationship formula, that I just had to replay it and add my commentary. Matthew 19-20; Mark 10; Luke 18 Part 1 • May 8 - May 14
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Do you struggle with the limitations of your spouse? Are you looking for ways to love that spouse, in spite of his or her weakness? Meet Orin and Chartina Voorheis. They’ve been married 20 years. The goodwill between them is strong.The idea of an interview with them entered my mind precisely when a newly married man, whose wife brought undisclosed mental illness into their marriage, asked me what a reasonable baseline functioning requirement might be for him to have of her. In some ways, they are a unique couple; but in the metrics of marital success, Orin and Chartina are standard bearers. 03:55 - how they met 13:58 - Orin’s injury23:07 - disabilities of spirit and body26:06 - their communication 30:58 - masculinity and femininity 39:45 - positive sentiment46:36 - her decision to marry himGet affordable, continuous help for those chronic pain points in your key relationships here: https://bit.ly/monthlyrelationshipcoachingSupport the cause✔️ PayPal: https://paypal.me/eekbin?country.x=US&locale.x=en_US✔️ Venmo: @justinmbirdThe Relationship textbook📘 Paperback: https://bit.ly/theonerelationship💻 Ebook: https://amzn.to/37JmXo4Merchandisehttps://www.eekbin.usBe with mehttps://www.instagram.com/justinmbird/https://www.facebook.com/relationshipconsultingservices/https://www.linkedin.com/in/justinmbird/--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wheretwobecomeone/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wheretwobecomeone/support
This is my 1st call with Orin and Chartina Voorheis. I thought of them when someone asked me what the baseline requirements of a spouse should be. They've been married 20 years, both are happy individually and with the marriage, and this makes them authorities on sustainable relationships. You and I can learn a lot about marriage, and life generally, from the Voorheis'. Orin was shot in the head while in Argentina, as a young missionary. He and Chartina married in 2002.
What questions would you like me to ask Orin or Chartina in our next episode?
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This podcast episode picks up where my 28 part reel series on Instagram leaves off. I recap all that, and then move into deeper comparisons between birth and rebirth.
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The Grand Design
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Why didn't Josiah's actions turn the boat around?
Consider with me in this episode if God isn't keen on laying before our eyes, for our instruction, an eternally present pattern via the framework of time.
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How to boast in a way that serves you and those around you.
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In this episode, I teach you how to know when you're expecting, how to gestate and ... I basically teach you how to be a better mom to your spiritual "man child."
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aka sensitivity training for men.
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never fake the funk on a nasty dunk
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We often think that our insecurity is our own, but our insecurity affects our relationships. We think, "oh, I'm just beating up on insignificant me. Therefore, I'm not harming anyone else." But this perspective only accounts for half of the problem.
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How to turn contention around and begin making win-wins.
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The sixth in a series of interviews expounding my book, The Grand Design, with Charles Zulanas IV.
00:00 The role of faith in The Grand Design
03:24 Scarcity, death and superior human worth are all false belief patterns which require faith to unlearn
07:04 Emotional swings and knowledge
10:30 The end of suffering
19:32 Humility is a feminine principle, and an acquired taste
24:25 Our distaste for submission
27:22 How to enjoy submission
33:55 Depression and anxiety
38:29 Submission from a macro-gospel viewpoint
42:30 Grasping the depth of The Fall precedes grasping the height of Christ’s Atonement
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The Grand Design makes clear the pattern of every relationship in interdependent creation - marriage, parenting, friendship, self, politics, business, energy, material, etc. - by shining attention on it in 3 areas important to me: sexual connection (procreation), social connection (self & other) and divine connection (the restored gospel of Jesus Christ).
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The fifth in a series of interviews expounding my book, The Grand Design, with Charles Zulanas IV.
00:00 The role of the threshold in every creative act
02:26 Fear
04:48 Pride
14:23 Rich and poor
22:13 To become more vulnerable, be around people who love to meet needs
28:25 Prioritization of tangible and intangible resources
32:02 Children are our models for sustainable society
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The Grand Design makes clear the pattern of every relationship in interdependent creation - marriage, parenting, friendship, self, politics, business, energy, material, etc. - by shining attention on it in 3 areas important to me: sexual connection (procreation), social connection (self & other) and divine connection (the restored gospel of Jesus Christ).
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What greater incentive to love your self, your neighbor, and ESPECIALLY your enemies could there be THAN THIS!?!
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00:00 Each person possesses infinite amounts of intangible, social resources, but most are blind to this reality;
03:30 receiving love from an outside source helps one begin to see one’s social wealth, while
06:00 NOT receiving this love perpetuates social corrosion
07:00 To wit, the voice of our Advocate builds individual worth in order to build sustainable community, while the voice of our Adversary diminishes individual worth in order to break community bonds - and that’s all there is
08:00 How to convert someone from a mentality of worthlessness -
10:15 this conversion can’t be forced, as it requires both vulnerability from the one party and sacrifice from the other -
11:46 but the natural urge is the flow (to be vulnerable and to give of one’s abundance)
12:00 Flow is easy, damnation is hard
13:07 There is no escaping burden, but not all experience its antidote
14:00 Depression, including my own
17:40 The acquisition of the intangible (social) resources required by spirit has a physical affect on the body.
Links to new science mentioned:
https://www.c-span.org/video/?463978-1/the-rabbit-effect
Addiction video by Kurzgesagt - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8AHODc6phg
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How members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints can use doctrine to invert their cultural approach to self love, and why they are benefitted by the transition.
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No component of a long-term, romantic relationship is weightier than sex. Males and females come at this union from opposing ends of the same trail: males begin at sex and move toward relationship fulfillment; females begin at relationship and move toward sexual fulfillment. The idea is for both to enjoy both. In order for that to happen, each must understand where the other is coming from, have patience and compassion with the other's process, and hold fast in the knowing that both want the full experience.
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Christians who desire to keep commandments must find a way to love sinners, without loving sin. The internal struggle can be tricky. Tune in to hear my own experience with this task, and find out how Christ's journey models for us the internal, energy play needed to accomplish pull it off.
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Understanding modesty in the context of The Grand Design. 1:57 Modesty is about rationing sexual flow. Sexual flow moves from male to female 4:17 Males search for sexual beauty 11:35 Her body like Lake Louise 14:48 See every circumstance both ways 16:15 Male sexuality is, to female sexuality, part of a manifesting universe 21:20 What every female has before her is what every human has before him: a spectrum of karmic responses customized to individual desire 23:42 The female is the origin of sexual transaction. Her modesty is about management of the materialization of response. 25:00 How to dress modestly 29:15 Repentance is about learning to manage one’s lever of modesty in ways that best serve you long-term More on The Grand Design https://bit.ly/the-grand-design-book Modest, conscious tshirts https://bit.ly/eek_bin
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The third in a series of interviews expounding my book, The Grand Design, with Charles Zulanas IV.
00:00 A brief summary of my book
02:10 How I discovered this relationship pattern
06:25 God is in me and in every other
07:57 I can’t NOT see divine femininity in God’s interplay with humanity
09:00 God is the advocate of all my adversaries
13:35 Interdependence defined
15:30 Applications of damnation
19:23 Redefining submission
20:30 The trial and error of seeking truth
23:13 To the master of illusion, observation is the only enemy
The Grand Design makes clear the pattern of every relationship in interdependent creation - marriage, parenting, friendship, self, politics, business, energy, material, etc. - by shining attention on it in 3 areas important to me: sexual connection (procreation), social connection (self & other) and divine connection (the restored gospel of Jesus Christ).
The Grand Design on Amazon: https://bit.ly/therelationshiptextbook
Charles Zulanas IV: https://www.linkedin.com/in/charleszulanasIV
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A trick to get unstuck, when you want something of your partner, but feel like you’re not getting anywhere.
Transition your requests from labels to action.
Often, when we want to make an alteration in the relationship routine, we seek to alter the behavior of our partner. Even though seeking to alter our own behavior is the most effective approach to moving the relationship forward, after we’ve personally achieved the willingness we want from our partner, it becomes a wonderful experience to make requests and have them fulfilled. Although we can never coerce their behavior, there is much we can do to influence it. If you’re struggling to influence your partner into a behavior that would make life more wonderful for you, perhaps your not offering specificity. We’ll commonly make requests using labels, such as, “be more kind,” “love me,” or “don’t be like that!” When we use these labels, we know what we mean, but are you sure they know what you mean?
Not usually.
Words reference meaning we’ve attached to past moments. We use words like cars to transport the feelings we’ve associated with those past moments, in hopes of sharing those parts of ourself with our partner, for in sharing what’s alive in us, our joys are doubled and our pain is halved. We think of 2 or 3 specific experiences, and then put them in the car, and then drive it toward the one we want to know us. The problem is that once the car leaves your brain and enters the brain of your partner, 2 or 3 different experiences exit the car. The meaning that exits the car, or the word, once it enters the brain of the other, is from their past experience. They use that same word to reference other specific, observable incidents. Speaking of specific, commonly shared, neutral incidents, is the way to get through that.
I believe that most people want to make or keep like wonderful for you. Most are drawn to meet a need once they see it. But Words are more often blockage points than transmission points in human communication. Seeing a need is often harder than meeting a need.
Transitioning your requests from timeless labels to time-bound action generates real-time love.
Actionable requests force your relationship into the present moment, while timeless labels send your relationship into the ever-ache of past disappointments and future expectations . The saddest outcome of using labels in your requests, instead of specific actions, is that the one you want to move forward with CAN never know what he or she could have done to stay with you. Their brain simply unpacks different meaning from all the labels you’ve offered.
I’d love to hear about your success, so drop me a note or send me a voice message. You can do that through Anchor.fm.
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How can the knowledge of a universal relationship pattern help your relationships?
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The second in a series of interviews expounding my book, The Grand Design, with Charles Zulanas IV.
The Grand Design makes clear the pattern of every relationship in interdependent creation - marriage, parenting, friendship, self, politics, business, energy, material, etc. - by shining attention on it in 3 areas important to me: sexual connection (procreation), social connection (self & other) and divine connection (the restored gospel of Jesus Christ).
00:00 What ABBA means to me (father, chiasmus, bodily experience)
09:20 The more awareness we have of how things operate, the better positioned we are to engineer, by intention, how things operate
12:40 Meekness is magnetic
15:10 When the elements obey with delight
16:15 The only sustainable tyranny
17:50 Eternal life: when needs find resources, in perpetuity
18:06 Jesus + disciples = win, win, win, etc.
20:15 The only way to keep a relationship sustainable is to make it a win-win
The Grand Design on Amazon:
https://bit.ly/therelationshiptextbook
interviewer:
Charles Zulanas IV:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/charleszu...
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From the moment of the Grand Council in pre-mortality, every moment can be seen from multiple perspectives. This authors choice. The choice 2/3 of us made then must still be made.
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00:00 A brief summary of The Grand Design
02:10 How I discovered this relationship pattern
07:57 I can’t NOT see divine femininity in God’s interplay with humanity
09:00 God is the advocate of all your adversaries
13:35 Interdependence defined
15:30 Applications of damnation
19:23 Redefining submission
20:30 The trial and error of seeking truth
23:13 To the master of illusion, observation is the only enemy
Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/justinmbird/message
It's so easy to confuse masculinity with maleness, and femininity with being female. But masculinity and femininity are principles, and anyone can act on them. Listen to learn more.
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Everyone uses the infinite loop as a love symbol. But, it is SO MUCH MORE! In this video, I unfold "The Hero's Journey" to illuminate the relationship between the Hero's parents, and introduce the infinite loop as a formula for all relationships.
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Meditate with me on the beauty of stillness.
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Meditate with me on the beauty of stillness.
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Split screening your attention between the interplay of these two relationships:
1 mountain / ocean
2 man / woman.
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In this episode, I double down in advocating for choosing the belief that "self" and "other" are one, and offer an idea to help you maintain that choice.
the Eckhart Tolle excerpt referenced:
"Eckhart Tolle | You Are the Universe | Guided Meditation" posted by Awaken to the Dream . https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGxrnuipf40&t=2441s
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This episode looks at the relationship between "Self" and "other" and draws a parallel between "Self's" relationship with "other" and God's relationship with the world; specifically, with "Self's" challenge to see an "other's" perspective, and God's Condescension to earth as Jesus.
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Joseph Campbell's universal storytelling pattern, famously known as The Hero's Journey, emerges from bodily construction, describes your heroic birth, and is the blueprint for every one of your relationships.
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I introduce myself, my intention, and 4 less commonly considered aspects of relationships:
1 Every creative act is the result of relationship interplay
2 There is a universal pattern to which all relationships adhere
3 Procreation is a prototype for this universal pattern, and every other creative act
4 Both marker points in the universal pattern of relationships are expressed perfectly in the experience of Jesus Christ
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