Black Mimosa: Recent Episodes
Black Mimosa
A few years ago, I traveled the world with my friends. It was the most extraordinary year of my life and I reflect upon it often. I'm always intrigued by the magic of memories and how they add richness to life.
As someone who struggles with PTSD, panic attacks are a frequent occurrence for me. Sometimes this means I end uo huddled somewhere, hiding from the world, just trying to get myself together. Makeup is not only fun for me, but at timea becomes a defense mechanism to cover up my pain.
My mom had this dream about me once. It was during a time I was in an abusive situation and very scared. It was such an incredible vision, and truly showed how powerful a mother's faith in her child can be. I keep it close to my heart, whenever I need to remember who I am and who I'm meant to be.
Okay so this one has a lot of pent up anger, some from just being downright mistreated, some from being a eoman and thus constantly told to "smile" to make others more comfortable. I think a lot of women, particularly black women, get that comment often. But we don't owe smiles to anyone.
I wrote this poem while I was meditating on my PTSD, and I feel like I don't know myself anymore. I feel like a shadow of what I once was. Basically, my journey to recovery is a journey to finding that girl again, to truly knowing who I am again.