Sorry I Only Read RomComs: Recent Episodes
Aanu Jide-Ojo
Here we will be talking about love (in its simplicity and complication), sex of course, consent, sexuality, as we find them written in books. I am excited about this and I hope that you are a bit curious to see where these conversations take us.
If I could rewrite this story, I would…. If I see this character, I would punch them, my favorite grand gestures, etc… listen to me answer these and more in today’s episode!
I think monogamous people can learn a bunch from non monogamous people, let’s dive in! Follow us @sorryionlyreadromcoms and @helloaanu
At the end of season 1, I talked about 3 books that changed my life and how one of them, Ace, by Angela Chen, helped me come to terms with being on the ace-spectrum, specifically, being demisexual. Reading that book was very eye-opening for me in the way it permitted me to define my outlook on dating, sexuality, consent and it definitely added more things to my checklist on a compactibility scale, like do we have shared values, shared interests, etc, are you good with dating an ace person, if you are, awesome, if you’re not I get it, good luck out there.
It has been very freeing, of course, there is the part that worries about how limiting that can be from an options perspective, but I haven’t experienced that so far, so that’s a relief, I can just fully focus on basking in the freedom of coming to terms with a key part of my sexual identity. Of course, this won’t be complete if I don’t reflect on how aceness shows up in romcoms, so I decided to chat about that today. So let us dive in! Follow me @sorryionlyreadromcoms and @helloaanu
So, I have been having tons of conversations around how people show up in relationships, both platonic and romantic relationships. You really can’t look at relational behavior without looking at attachment styles. I started paying attention to my attachment style when I noticed that there are specific people, friends, and acquaintances, that I felt more anxious around, and others that I was just chill around. And I was curious about what it was about both parties that created certain responses. And also like romantic relationships and seeing the varied ways I showed up in each one. Asking questions like what was it about this that made me run, what was it about this that made me stay. Learning my attachment style kind of helped me piece together certain details, like “oh that makes sense”. So of course, in the spirit of having a full-circle moment, I want to see how attachment styles show up in romcoms. Let me know what you think, send a voice note on Anchor or a dm on Instagram, @/sorryionlyreadromcoms, and @/helloaanu everywhere
I discovered a new author that I just can’t help but gush about! Listen to it, read the books and let me know what you think! Follow me everywhere @sorryionlyreadromcoms and @helloaanu
I’m just excited to hand out some awards to some of my favorite books this year! Follow us on Instagram @sorryionlyreadromcoms and @helloaanu
There are 3 books that I consider life-changing. By life-changing I mean, reading them created a light bulb moment, changed my perspective, helped me name things about myself, and most importantly changed my behavior. I don’t think I’ve talked about them here before, so let's dive in!
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Anywho I decided to talk about something that every romcom can’t do without, THE TROPE!! We see it in every plot in different forms, we can’t go without our thropes, they are tropes for a reason. Tropes are like comfort food, our blankie, it's like that good old faithful grandma recipe that will never fail you if you tweak it right. You know and for the most part… we have a love hate relationship with them, usually because it's a very thin line between being a cliche and being a trope. So what’s a trope? A trope is a commonplace, recognizable plot element, theme, or visual cue that conveys something in the arts, in this case in romcoms. It's not inherently good or bad, it just is. So in today’s episode we’ll be talking about different tropes in romcoms and some of the books you can find them in.
Friendships also play a key role in romantic relationships, what your friends perceive as healthy matters, they are who you bounce ideas off of, they make the call when you ask “should I be worried, this is what X person did” and they are most likely the consistent baseline that your romantic partner is measured against. By this I mean that if your friends treat you like a gem, like you matter, like you’re really listened to, if they show up for you, chances are you will be highly uncomfortable in an environment that doesn’t meet that standard, even if you like that person. You’ll just be spoiled, in a good way. And yo! I don’t know you can relate to your friends hating your ex more than you, like you’re high key over it, you’re all good vibes and everything and your friends are like nope, hell no, bind, cast, destroy, delete, block, mute, lol. So I decided to dedicate today’s episode to my relationship with friendships, friendship break ups and of course talk about some romcoms centered around friendships. Let’s dive in!
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First we have Bolatito by Seyi Amao, now off the bat I think this book should have been called Ifunanya because quite a bit of tragedy happened in this book and the only thing that kept me going is the optimism and spirit of this child named Ifunanya. A lot of things were explored in this book, it talked about PCOS, intimate partner violence, insurgency in the north, maternal death rate, diabetes and of course religion played a huge role in the story. What did I like about this book, I liked the optimism. Ordinarily, a book this heavy would have taken a huge toll, it's just about 187 pages and every character in the book had experienced some form of loss, and it was a lot, you know. You’d find yourself being like, dang life really isn’t fair. But the author wrote it in a way, I found myself still holding out hope, I wasn’t dragged down by it. That was great because it's 2021, I don’t need a story that will deliberately make me sad.
I like valentine’s day, I like chocolates, roses, dates, pampering sessions, rom coms, poems… Speaking of, I love poems, poetry, they pack a punch with the simplest of lines and I think one of the things I miss the most is being able to grunt and snap at a spoken word event. Anywho, I decided to read some of my favorite love poems, share why I love them and just vibe, yeah? Follow me on social media at @sorryionlyreadromcoms and @helloaanu
Anyway, Valentine's day is coming, capitalism is salivating at the feast and carnage of the day, I love it for her. And for the single folks I decided to pull some dating tips to get you a partner, or at least a date for the day. I mean, you deserve a teddy bear, fox cookies, a notepad, questionable perfume, plastic flowers, and cadbury chocolate all wrapped up in a red box, and I am here to share tips gotten from the romcoms, because they are so helpful. Let’s dive in!
I figured that a monthly wrap up might be a bit long so I decided to do a mid month check in … let’s dive in!
So it’s the beginning of the year, and everyone is setting their reading goals for the year, so I thought to share some of my goals, some themes I hope I get to read and some of the barriers I may have that you may relate with, I will also share my tbr for the month of January. Let’s dive in! Follow us on Instagram @sorryionlyreadromcoms and Aanu @helloaanu
Last week Shonda did the lord’s work and gave us Bridgerton, funny thing, I’d never read the books or heard of the author, prior to the show (I don’t know if this is the point where my romcom card is taken away from me) but twitter was all abuzz about it, being a Shonda stan, it was definitely a must watch for me and people… I have thoughts. Thankfully, I also have a podcast to share said thoughts so let’s dive in!!!
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What’s that thing they say about comedy being tragedy plus time. I don’t think anyone ever thinks that they will ever laugh about an event that once felt like your heart drowning in your chest but hey! Anyway, of course this prompted me to take a look at how break ups show up in romcoms, let's dive in!
Hi folks! I got Clap When You Land from @rovingheights on Instagram! You can follow us @sorryionlyreadromcoms and @helloaanu
In romcoms, love and the acknowledgment of it is written as the gold standard for character growth. We forget that love can be unhealthily given and people can love badly even if the other character doesn’t know it.
So this week's episode is a campaign for reading more “guy next door”, the pot bellied love interest, or maybe a 2 pack, not six pack, the short man, listen, or medium height, not every time 6ft tall, yada yada.
Bisexual persons are more likely to experience depression, intimate partner violence and anxiety. So understanding bisxuality, what it is, what it isn’t, is so key.
So, for the last couple of weeks, I feel like I have been taking a stab at romcoms, for someone that unapologetically stans these books, I’ve been quite on the critical side when it comes to examining how romcoms push some unhealthy and to be honest very anti feminist positions. However, while it has its problematic sides, can we make the conclusion that romcoms aren’t feminist in nature? Is it supposed to be?
So when was the last time you read something like “do we mind if we tried this instead? Or maybe this isn't working, can we pause? Or a simple, this is what I like” I don’t think I have.
“your mouth is saying no, but your body is saying yes” is it though, let’s talk about this!
So we don’t get a Nigerian version of a queer romcom hero like Mellissa Brayden (the author I mentioned in the last two episodes), instead we are going through politics and war and rites and passages and its always a great learning moment but where is the fluff?
Welcome to “Sorry, I only read ROMCOMs” a podcast about romance and all the ways it shows up in our lives, specifically in books. I started reading romcoms forever ago, somehow found myself swept away by the dance, you know how it goes.. First person 1 meets person 2, a coy banter begins, they fall in love… then that separation bridge happens where they realise that they can’t do without each other, finally the glorious reunion and happily ever after that makes us go awwww. After reading this same story line about 5000 times, I decided to talk about it, in a podcast of course as a millennial. So here we will be talking about love (in its simplicity and complication), sex of course, consent, sexuality, as we find them written in books. I am lowkey excited about this and I hope that you are a bit curious to see where these conversations take us.