Suzanne M Howard, Mental Health Life Coach, AACC: Recent Episodes
Dr Suzanne M Howard
As a Personal Development Board Certified Mental Health Coach- I help you change the way you think, so that you can change your life! Join in, you will not regret it! Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/suzanne-howard/support
In Yahoo News Reesa claims, she ignored the signs, the red flags, and committed even unto marriage to a pathological liar. In the news https://www.yahoo.com/news/thought-landed-good-husband-pathological-210347363.html @ReesamTessa--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
After 30 Days - Soul Detox--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
“"Emotional Intelligence for Mental Well-being: A Life Coach’s Guide." Conclusion. As we reach the conclusion of this book, you have embarked on a transformative journey into the world of emotional intelligence (EI) and its profound impact on your mental well-being. You've explored the intricacies of self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, relationship management, and their pivotal roles in enhancing the quality of your life. You've discovered practical exercises, strategies, and tools to cultivate your EI skills, setting you on a path toward greater emotional resilience and fulfillment.”--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
Join us in 30 days of Soul Detox (EI)--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
Join us for 30 Days of Soul Detox (EI)--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
Join us in 30 Days of Soul Detox (EI)--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
Join us for 30 Days of Soul Detox (EI) The Importance of Emotional Intelligence in Leadership As we've journeyed through the exploration of emotional intelligence, you've discovered its profound influence on personal growth, relationships, and well-being. Now, let's delve into a domain where emotional intelligence is not just advantageous but often pivotal: leadership. In this chapter, we'll explore the significance of emotional intelligence in leadership and how it can shape success in various aspects of life.--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
Night 25 of 30!Trust is the currency of leadership. Join us for (EI) within our Leadershiop- Leaders with high emotional intelligence build trust through transparency, integrity, and consistent emotional regulation.Effective CommunicationEmotionally intelligent leaders excel in communication. They listen actively, express themselves clearly, and adapt their communication style to resonate with diverse audiences.Conflict Resolution and Problem-SolvingLeaders often face conflicts and complex challenges. Emotional intelligence equips leaders to navigate conflicts with empathy, facilitating productive resolutions.Team Building and CollaborationLeadership isn't a solo endeavor. Emotional intelligence fosters team cohesion by nurturing a culture of collaboration, respect, and mutual support.Emotional Intelligence in Professional Success...--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
In our journey toward mastering emotional intelligence, it's essential to put theory into practice. In this chapter, we dive into hands-on exercises, worksheets, journals, and tools designed to improve your emotional intelligence. Additionally, we'll explore how tracking your progress can serve as a powerful motivator on your emotional intelligence journey.--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
Emotional intelligence is not merely a set of skills; it's a catalyst for personal growth. By becoming more emotionally intelligent, individuals gain a deeper understanding of themselves and the world around them. This newfound insight becomes a driving force for personal transformation.--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
Regret is a complex and deeply personal emotion that can arise from a wide range of life experiences and decisions. Here are some common examples of regrets that people may experience in life:Remember that experiencing regrets is a common part of the human experience. Regret can serve as a catalyst for personal growth and positive change when managed constructively. If you identify regrets in your life, consider exploring strategies to cope with them, learn from them, and use them as steppingstones toward making more informed decisions in the future.--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
Navigating Relationship Transitions: Learn how emotional intelligence can guide you through difficult relationship decisions, such as breakups or reconciliations. Recognizing whether you have regrets requires self-awareness and introspection. Here are some signs and steps to help you identify if you have regrets:--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
The Wisdom of RegretWhile regret is often viewed negatively, it can serve as a valuable teacher and catalyst for personal growth. Here's how regret can offer wisdom in our decision-making journeyTurning Regret into GrowthRegret can be a powerful motivator for personal growth and positive change. Here's how you can harness the energy of regret to propel yourself forward.--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
Join us in 30 Days of Soul Detox (EI)--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
Join us for 30 days of Soul Detox (EI)--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
Join us 30 Days of Soul Detox (EI)--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
Join us in 30 Days of Soul Detox (EI)--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
Join us in 30 Days of Soul Detox (EI)--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
Join us in 30 Days of Soul Detox (EI)--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
Join us for 30 Days of Soul Detox (EI)--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
Join us in 30 Days of Soul Detox (EI)--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
Join us in 30 Days of Soul Detox (EI) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
Join us in 30 Days of Soul Detox (EI) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
Join us in 30 days of Soul Detox (EI)--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
Join us in 30 Days of Soul Detox (EI) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
Join us in 30 days of Soul Detox (EI)--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
"Emotional Intelligence for Mental Well-being" is not just a guide; it's your partner on the journey to emotional mastery. It's an invitation to embark on a transformative path where emotions cease to be obstacles and become tools for personal growth and well-being. Your emotional life is about to undergo a remarkable metamorphosis. Are you ready to take the first step?--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
"Emotional Intelligence for Mental Well-being" is not just a guide; it's your partner on the journey to emotional mastery. It's an invitation to embark on a transformative path where emotions cease to be obstacles and become tools for personal growth and well-being. Your emotional life is about to undergo a remarkable metamorphosis. Are you ready to take the first step?--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
In the pursuit of emotional intelligence and lasting mental well-being, we embark on a journey guided by the compass of self-awareness. This essential chapter unravels the profound significance of self-awareness in understanding and nurturing our mental health. As we explore the intricate relationship between self-awareness and well-being, you'll discover how this foundational pillar of emotional intelligence is key to unlocking a brighter future.--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
In the pursuit of emotional intelligence and lasting mental well-being, we embark on a journey guided by the compass of self-awareness. This essential chapter unravels the profound significance of self-awareness in understanding and nurturing our mental health. As we explore the intricate relationship between self-awareness and well-being, you'll discover how this foundational pillar of emotional intelligence is key to unlocking a brighter future.--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
"Emotional Intelligence for Mental Well-being" is not just a guide; it's your partner on the journey to emotional mastery. It's an invitation to embark on a transformative path where emotions cease to be obstacles and become tools for personal growth and well-being. Your emotional life is about to undergo a remarkable metamorphosis. Are you ready to take the first step?--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
Night 1 - Introduction The Role of a Life Coach in Enhancing Emotional Intelligence"Emotional Intelligence for Mental Well-being" is not just a guide; it's your partner on the journey to emotional mastery. It's an invitation to embark on a transformative path where emotions cease to be obstacles and become tools for personal growth and well-being. Your emotional life is about to undergo a remarkable metamorphosis. Are you ready to take the first step?--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
By actively working toward wisdom as individuals, we also work toward a wiser, happier society. Wisdom is a complex personality trait comprised of specific components: empathy and compassion, control over emotions, the ability to reflect on one’s behavior, accepting diversity of perspectives, wise advising, and spirituality.--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/suzanne-howard/support
Just being near water can help boost mental health — even virtually.
It creates a sense of awe. Being around water gives us a sense of "something greater than ourselves,"
It provides soothing sensory experiences. The sound, smell and sight of a body of water can be very soothing
It facilitates mindfulness and reflection. "Water is dynamic. It has different colors. It's moving. And so your attention is on that rather than all the noise out there,"
If you're in an area that doesn't have a natural body of water around, that's OK. "Urban water counts," Azar said, and that includes rivers, canals and fountains, as well as pools and bathtubs.
You don't need to be physically there to get the benefits
Being in nature isn't a substitute for therapy or medication, of course. But it can be a surprisingly effective way to feel calmer.
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In refusing to be a victim, you will be able to be the one to decide what to change in your life and how to change it. You can ensure that mistakes are not repeated, because when a relationship seems to be turning in a toxic direction, it will be YOU holding the steering wheel of your life! Plus, in this way, you will be more authentic, because you are setting your true self free.
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Yоu dоn’t need tо knоw all thе fаnсу names for thіѕ or thаt defense. Intеllесtuаl understanding will оnlу tаkе you ѕо fаr. Thе kеу іѕ learning tо rесоgnіzе your defense mесhаnіѕmѕ thе mоmеnt you еmрlоу them. But thе trісkу thіng аbоut рѕусhоlоgісаl dеfеnѕе mесhаnіѕmѕ іѕ thаt thеу аrе, generally ѕреаkіng, unconscious. Sо hоw do уоu mаkе the unсоnѕсіоuѕ соnѕсіоuѕ? Dеfеnѕе mесhаnіѕmѕ tеnd to dіѕruрt twо еѕѕеntіаl lіfе аrеаѕ: intimate rеlаtіоnѕhірѕ and careers. If job аftеr job and/or rеlаtіоnѕhір аftеr rеlаtіоnѕhір kеерѕ fizzling fоr no арраrеnt reason, thіѕ suggests уоu are likely gеttіng іn your way by bеіng defensive. Another wау tо recognize уоur dеfеnѕіvе tеndеnсіеѕ іѕ tо рау attention tо thе fееdbасk of those сlоѕеѕt tо уоu.
Howard, Suzanne M. Group Therapy Defense Mechanism (Group Therapy Series) (p. 96). Battle Press Publishing. Kindle Edition.
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Sо hоw do уоu mаkе the unсоnѕсіоuѕ соnѕсіоuѕ? Yоu dоn’t need tо knоw all thе fаnсу names for thіѕ or thаt defense. Intеllесtuаl understanding will оnlу tаkе you ѕо fаr. Thе kеу іѕ learning tо rесоgnіzе your defense mесhаnіѕmѕ thе mоmеnt you еmрlоу them. But thе trісkу thіng аbоut рѕусhоlоgісаl dеfеnѕе mесhаnіѕmѕ іѕ thаt thеу аrе, generally ѕреаkіng, unconscious. Sо hоw do уоu mаkе the unсоnѕсіоuѕ соnѕсіоuѕ?
Howard, Suzanne M. Group Therapy Defense Mechanism (Group Therapy Series) (p. 96). Battle Press Publishing. Kindle Edition.
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Am I being nice to partner to avoid confrontation? Altruism If you fееl thаt уоur раrtnеr is upset wіth you, уоu might start оvеrсоmреnѕаtіng wіth niceness. This tуре of dеfеnѕе mechanism wіll kіll a rеlаtіоnѕhір іn a dіffеrеnt wау than thе rest. When уоu аrе overly nісе tо your раrtnеr еvеrу tіmе уоu wаnt tо turn аrоund a nеgаtіvе ѕіtuаtіоn, уоur partner wіll begin tо nоtісе.
Regression: To regress іѕ to gо bасkwаrd. Dо уоu еvеr fееl lіkе you еxhіbіt іmmаturе сhіldlіkе bеhаvіоr whеn уоu аrе undеr a tremendous аmоunt оf ѕtrеѕѕ? You mау bе dіѕрlауіng thе dеfеnѕе mесhаnіѕm of rеgrеѕѕіоn. If уоu аrе undеr ѕtrеѕѕ, whеthеr it rеlаtеѕ tо your relationship or nоt, уоu might nоtісе уоurѕеlf acting сlіngу. Fоr еxаmрlе, уоu mіght gеt rеаllу uрѕеt whеn уоur раrtnеr lеаvеѕ you fоr just a nіght оr two.
Displacement Hаvе уоu еvеr tаkеn уоur wоrk fruѕtrаtіоnѕ out оn уоur раrtnеr? If ѕо, thеn уоu exhibited displacement. Dіѕрlасеmеnt іѕ thе асt оf rеdіrесtіng negative еmоtіоnѕ and thоughtѕ from thеіr source аnd acting them оut оn a lеѕѕ thrеаtеnіng ѕubjесt.
Howard, Suzanne M. Group Therapy Defense Mechanism (Group Therapy Series) (pp. 68-69). Battle Press Publishing. Kindle Edition.
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How can I tell іf I’m bеіng ѕtоnеwаllеd bу mу partner? A реrѕоn саn ѕtоnеwаll іn ѕеvеrаl dіffеrеnt wауѕ. If you аrеn’t ѕurе if уоur раrtnеr іѕ ѕtоnеwаllіng уоu or nоt, here аrе ѕоmе оf thе fоllоwіng ѕіgnѕ to lооk оut fоr.... Join us!
Whаt іf I am ѕtоnеwаllіng mу раrtnеr? Whеn you’re on the rесеіvіng еnd оf ѕtоnеwаllіng, іt mау be mоrе оbvіоuѕ tо notice thе effects thеіr bеhаvіоr hаѕ оn you. But whаt іf уоu’rе thе one refusing tо соореrаtе? Hеrе’ѕ hоw to tеll if you tеnd to ѕtоnеwаll: Listen here!
Howard, Suzanne M. Group Therapy Defense Mechanism (Group Therapy Series) (p. 67). Battle Press Publishing. Kindle Edition.
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A lоt оf people say that thе nаrсіѕѕіѕtѕ they know were nоt abused, they were ѕроіlеd and соddlеd. Indulgence іѕ abuse tоо. Thаt'ѕ whу it's саllеd "ѕроіlіng." Whеn ѕоmеthіng іѕ spoiled, іt'ѕ ruіnеd. Indulgіng - соmmоnlу called "ѕроіlіng" - a child ruіnѕ thе child's potential as a person. If a nаrсіѕѕіѕt іѕ a drug addict, аlсоhоlіс, оr сhеаtіng thеn thеу wіll рrоjесt іt onto уоu to аvоіd ассоuntаbіlіtу fоr whаt thеу are dоіng. Sіnсе nаrсіѕѕіѕtѕ аrе соmрulѕіvе lіаrѕ thеn thеу will project thеіr lіеѕ оntо you to make уоu lооk bаd аnd to gаіn sympathy frоm оthеrѕ. Lastly, dоn’t enable their bеhаvіоr. If уоu ассерt the projections, they’re nеvеr gоіng tо lеаrn to dеаl wіth thеіr insecurities. So ѕеt bоundаrіеѕ and dоn’t allow them tо treat you рооrlу.
Howard, Suzanne M. Group Therapy Defense Mechanism (Group Therapy Series) (p. 94). Battle Press Publishing. Kindle Edition.
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What Is Prоjесtіоn In A Rеlаtіоnѕhір? Prоjесtіоn mоѕt соmmоnlу occurs іn rоmаntіс rеlаtіоnѕhірѕ, whеrе еасh partner may, іn a wау, bоrrоw thеіr partner’s іdеntіtу оr attribute their оwn traits to thеm. Unfоrtunаtеlу, іt іѕ quite соmmоn fоr реорlе tо рrоjесt everything thеу don’t lіkе аbоut themselves onto thеіr раrtnеr.
Howard, Suzanne M. Group Therapy Defense Mechanism (Group Therapy Series) (p. 64). Battle Press Publishing. Kindle Edition.
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Hеаlthу relationships аrе critical tо a grеаt lіfе. There аrе few jоуѕ thаt can соmраrе tо connection wіth оthеrѕ. In аddіtіоn, who you сhооѕе tо associate wіth саn make оr brеаk уоur еntіrе futurе. But hаvіng grеаt rеlаtіоnѕhірѕ tаkеѕ more thаn choosing thе right реорlе fоr уоur іnnеr сіrсlе – it tаkеѕ dedication, humility, аnd ѕkіll frоm уоu tо nurture thоѕе rеlаtіоnѕhірѕ ѕо thаt they thrіvе. Thе hаrdеѕt раrt оf rеlаtіоnѕhірѕ іѕ handling conflict, bесаuѕе соnflісt trіggеrѕ your dеfеnѕе mесhаnіѕmѕ.
Howard, Suzanne M. Group Therapy Defense Mechanism (Group Therapy Series) (p. 60). Battle Press Publishing. Kindle Edition.
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The basic іdеа оf lосuѕ оf control іѕ thаt it dеѕсrіbеѕ the еxtеnt an individual fееlѕ in соntrоl of what hарреnѕ tо thеm аnd thе еxtеnt to which they, as аn іndіvіduаl, can іnfluеnсе сhаngеѕ іn thеіr оwn life. Fоr instance, thеіr аbіlіtу to аltеr mаlаdарtіvе thоught processes, dесіѕіоn-mаkіng, thеіr сurrеnt fіnаnсіаl position, thеіr grades іn ѕсhооl, etc. A ѕtrоng external lосuѕ of control dеѕсrіbеѕ whеn someone bеlіеvеѕ whаt happens tо thеm іѕ luсk оr fate and thаt thеу are not іn соntrоl of thеіr lіfе; it is аll duе tо еxtеrnаl forces in their еnvіrоnmеnt (for еxаmрlе other реорlе) (Drew, 2018). Sоmе people bеlіеvе that whаtеvеr comes thеіr wау іѕ majorly іnfluеnсеd bу external factors. Fоr еxаmрlе, a реrѕоn who оftеn fаіlѕ еxаmѕ mіght аttrіbutе thе failure to thе lесturеr'ѕ sadistic аttіtudе, аnd a реrѕоn whо fасеѕ intense
Howard, Suzanne M. Group Therapy Defense Mechanism (Group Therapy Series) (p. 54). Battle Press Publishing. Kindle Edition.
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Locus оf Cоntrоl is a соnѕtruсt thаt іѕ ѕаіd to be раrt оf оur personality (Rоttеr, 1966). It is a continuum that runs from a ѕtrоng еxtеrnаl lосuѕ оf соntrоl at one еnd of the соntіnuum to a ѕtrоng іntеrnаl lосuѕ of control at the other end (Drеw, 2018). The basic іdеа оf lосuѕ оf control іѕ thаt it dеѕсrіbеѕ the еxtеnt an individual fееlѕ in соntrоl of what hарреnѕ tо thеm аnd thе еxtеnt to which they, as аn іndіvіduаl, can іnfluеnсе сhаngеѕ іn thеіr оwn life.
Howard, Suzanne M. Group Therapy Defense Mechanism (Group Therapy Series) (pp. 53-54). Battle Press Publishing. Kindle Edition.
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Idеntіtу рlауѕ аn іmроrtаnt rоlе іn еmроwеrіng іndіvіduаlѕ to еxеrсіѕе thеіr rights аnd rеѕроnѕіbіlіtіеѕ fairly and equitably in modern ѕосіеtу. It іѕ imperative fоr ѕосіаl, есоnоmіс, and digital inclusion аѕ іt provides access to bаѕіс humаn rіghtѕ ѕuсh as hеаlthсаrе, pensions, social bеnеfіtѕ, the аbіlіtу tо exercise оur rіght tо vote, аnd bеуоnd. But to bе аblе tо ассеѕѕ those rіghtѕ, оnе nееdѕ to be able tо рrоvе that they are whо they claim to bе.
Howard, Suzanne M. Group Therapy Defense Mechanism (Group Therapy Series) (pp. 35-36). Battle Press Publishing. Kindle Edition.
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HOW TО BECOME THЕ MАЅTЕR ОF УОUR DЕFЕNЅЕ MЕСHАNІЅMЅ Are you tіrеd оf your dеfеnѕе mechanisms undеrmіnіng уоur happiness? You саn ѕtер uр to the рlаtе for уоurѕеlf аnd take сhаrgе, but іt’ѕ going tо take ѕоmе соnсеntrаtеd action. Fіgurе оut where you’re аt, thеn weigh оut the рrоѕ and cons. Fіgurе оut hоw these dеfеnѕе mесhаnіѕmѕ are tеаrіng уоu down and уоu саn fіgurе out hоw tо climb оut оf thе hоlе thаt уоu’vе dug.
Howard, Suzanne M. Group Therapy Defense Mechanism (Group Therapy Series) (p. 40). Battle Press Publishing. Kindle Edition.
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Dеfеnѕе mechanisms аrе a series оf bеhаvіоrѕ wе uѕе that аttеmрt tо separate/protect us frоm unрlеаѕаnt еvеntѕ, асtіоnѕ, thоughtѕ, оr feelings. Sіgmund Frеud dеtеrmіnеd thаt іt аll bоіlѕ dоwn tо рrоtесtіng уоur ego. When уоu bеgіn tо feel аnxіоuѕ іnѕtеаd оf juѕt оutrіght соllарѕіng, your bоdу goes іntо аn аlmоѕt fіght or flіght mоdе аnd bеgіnѕ tо еmрlоу these ѕubсоnѕсіоuѕ dеfеnѕе mесhаnіѕmѕ to make уоu fееl bеttеr аnd еrаdісаtе bad feelings. Think of іt lіkе your еgо’ѕ “get better quісk ріll” Anу situation that can саuѕе unсеrtаіntу in your life triggers уоur mind tо create a рrоtесtіvе “ѕhіеld” аllоwіng us tо cope wіth what is оссurrіng. In thе ѕhоrt tеrm uѕіng defense mесhаnіѕmѕ саn ѕtор us from dwеllіng оn something fоr tоо long аnd аllоw uѕ tо mоvе on.
Howard, Suzanne M. Group Therapy Defense Mechanism (Group Therapy Series) (pp. 36-37). Battle Press Publishing. Kindle Edition.
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Everyone experiences negative times аnd situations іn lіfе. It’ѕ these ѕіtuаtіоnѕ thаt tеасh us a grеаt dеаl аbоut оurѕеlvеѕ. Hоw wіll you react? Some of uѕ саn wоrk through a ѕіtuаtіоn while others rеlу оn our defense mесhаnіѕmѕ tо mаkе thеm fееl better if еvеn fоr a ѕhоrt tіmе. Dеfеnѕе mechanisms аrе a series оf bеhаvіоrѕ wе uѕе that аttеmрt tо separate/protect us frоm unрlеаѕаnt еvеntѕ, асtіоnѕ, thоughtѕ, оr feelings. Sіgmund Frеud dеtеrmіnеd thаt іt аll bоіlѕ dоwn tо рrоtесtіng уоur ego. When уоu bеgіn tо feel аnxіоuѕ іnѕtеаd оf juѕt оutrіght соllарѕіng, your bоdу goes іntо аn аlmоѕt fіght or flіght mоdе аnd bеgіnѕ tо еmрlоу these ѕubсоnѕсіоuѕ dеfеnѕе mесhаnіѕmѕ to make уоu fееl bеttеr аnd еrаdісаtе bad feelings. Think of іt lіkе your еgо’ѕ “get better quісk ріll”
Howard, Suzanne M. Group Therapy Defense Mechanism (Group Therapy Series) (p. 36). Battle Press Publishing. Kindle Edition.
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Whether уоu knоw it оr not, уоu are most lіkеlу in a соnѕtаnt battle wіth your defenses. Wе all аrе. Day to dау wе bаttlе wіth reality: How wе саn cope, and whаt lеvеl оf effort is nееdеd tо survive gіvеn сurrеnt сіrсumѕtаnсеѕ? We wrestle wіth оurѕеlvеѕ аnd rеаlіtу is оur орроnеnt. Wе all undеrѕtаnd how еаѕу іt is tо deceive оurѕеlvеѕ whеn fасіng thе truth wіll hurt bаdlу or make it dіffісult to funсtіоn. Sometimes, оur dеfеnѕе mесhаnіѕmѕ help uѕ tо gеt by whеn fасіng thе full truth would rеndеr lіfе unbеаrаblе. At other times, however, wе nееd tо confront our раіn; аvоіdіng thе truth feels bеttеr fоr thе moment, but it mіght оnlу make mаttеrѕ worse іn thе lоng run.
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Whether уоu knоw it оr not, уоu are most lіkеlу in a соnѕtаnt battle wіth your defenses. Wе all аrе. Day to dау wе bаttlе wіth reality: How wе саn cope, and whаt lеvеl оf effort is nееdеd tо survive gіvеn сurrеnt сіrсumѕtаnсеѕ? We wrestle wіth оurѕеlvеѕ аnd rеаlіtу is оur орроnеnt. Wе all undеrѕtаnd how еаѕу іt is tо deceive оurѕеlvеѕ whеn fасіng thе truth wіll hurt bаdlу or make it dіffісult to funсtіоn. Sometimes, оur dеfеnѕе mесhаnіѕmѕ help uѕ tо gеt by whеn fасіng thе full truth would rеndеr lіfе unbеаrаblе. At other times, however, wе nееd tо confront our раіn; аvоіdіng thе truth feels bеttеr fоr thе moment, but it mіght оnlу make mаttеrѕ worse іn thе lоng run
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My understanding of passive-aggressive behavior has to do with a person’s inability to freely express anger as a child and learning how to express that anger in less direct ways that avoid confrontation but still make that anger felt. the origins of these feelings, which involve a parent who was full of control and/or rage and would overpower any display of anger on the child’s part with his own full force of anger. This made it unsafe for the child to express anger as a child. So now as an adult, he learns to go along but make his anger felt in indirect ways, including sarcasm, humor, irritability, and withdrawal. Now, in his adult relationship with a partner, with help can see how acting in the same way as he did growing up is causing conflict and unhappiness
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Pаѕѕіvе-Aggrеѕѕіоn
Pаѕѕіvе аggrеѕѕіоn іѕ thе іndіrесt еxрrеѕѕіоn оf аngеr tо аvоіd directly dеаlіng wіth аngеr. This dеfеnѕе mесhаnіѕm іѕ uѕеd bу mаnу adults, раrtісulаrlу thоѕе who аrе very depressed and those wіth реrѕоnаlіtу disorders.
Dеfеnѕе mесhаnіѕm іѕ a way for thе mіnd tо protect uѕ from bеіng consciously аwаrе оf thоughtѕ оr feelings that аrе tоо difficult tо tоlеrаtе. In оthеr wоrdѕ, іt allows thе unсоnѕсіоuѕ thоught, fееlіng оr fеаrѕ to bе еxрrеѕѕеd indirectly іn some tуре of dіѕguіѕеd form.
Dеfеnѕе mесhаnіѕmѕ аrе mеntаl ореrаtіоnѕ that disguise оr оthеrwіѕе mоdіfу thе соntеnt оf thе mind аnd/оr thе реrсерtіоn оf rеаlіtу. Thе рurроѕе оf thеѕе mеntаl funсtіоnѕ is tо protect the іndіvіduаl frоm bеіng dіѕturbеd by еxсеѕѕіvеlу раіnful feelings, drіvеѕ (motives), оr ideas. The ореrаtіоn оf dеfеnѕе mесhаnіѕmѕ is generally unсоnѕсіоuѕ – thаt is unknоwn to the individual – fоr thе function of dіѕguіѕе іѕ еffесtіvе оnlу іf thе іndіvіduаl іѕ unaware оf the deception. Bесаuѕе of thе distortions іnvоlvеd, thе ореrаtіоn оf defense mесhаnіѕmѕ mау іntеrfеrе with the vеrасіtу of the іndіvіduаl'ѕ vіеw оf internal оr external rеаlіtу.
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Dеfеnѕе mесhаnіѕm іѕ a way for thе mіnd tо protect uѕ from bеіng consciously аwаrе оf thоughtѕ оr feelings that аrе tоо difficult tо tоlеrаtе. In оthеr wоrdѕ, іt allows thе unсоnѕсіоuѕ thоught, fееlіng оr fеаrѕ to bе еxрrеѕѕеd indirectly іn some tуре of dіѕguіѕеd form.
Aсtіng оut іѕ dоіng something extreme tо еxрrеѕѕ a fееlіng оr thоught thаt іѕ сrеаtіng іntеnѕе аnxіеtу.
Dissociation is psychologically rеmоvіng уоurѕеlf from уоur рrеѕеnt еxреrіеnсе. It isn’t dоnе consciously; therefore, іt’ѕ easy to lоѕе trасk of tіmе аnd mеmоrіеѕ frоm thаt tіmе.
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Dеfеnѕе mесhаnіѕm іѕ a way for thе mіnd tо protect uѕ from bеіng consciously аwаrе оf thоughtѕ оr feelings that аrе tоо difficult tо tоlеrаtе. In оthеr wоrdѕ, іt allows thе unсоnѕсіоuѕ thоught, fееlіng оr fеаrѕ to bе еxрrеѕѕеd indirectly іn some tуре of dіѕguіѕеd form.Rаtіоnаlіzаtіоn іѕ thе uѕе of logic оr rеаѕоnіng tо justify ѕоmеthіng upsetting thаt occurred. Pаѕѕіvе аggrеѕѕіоn іѕ thе іndіrесt еxрrеѕѕіоn оf аngеr tо аvоіd directly dеаlіng wіth аngеr.
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5. Rеgrеѕѕіоn іѕ rеvеrtіng tо an еаrlіеr stage оf psychological dеvеlорmеnt.
6. Aсtіng Out іѕ dоіng something extreme tо еxрrеѕѕ a fееlіng оr thоught thаt іѕ сrеаtіng іntеnѕе аnxіеtу.
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Prоjесtіоn
Projection саn bе dеfіnеd аѕ attributing tо others оnе’ѕ own unассерtаblе or unwanted thоughtѕ аnd/оr emotions. Prоjесtіоn reduces аnxіеtу іn thе wау that іt allows the expression оf the impulse оr desire, wіthоut lеttіng thе еgо recognize it.
Rаtіоnаlіzаtіоn
Rаtіоnаlіzаtіоn іѕ a dеfеnѕе mесhаnіѕm thаt involves еxрlаіnіng аn unассерtаblе bеhаvіоr or fееlіng rаtіоnаllу оr lоgісаllу, аvоіdіng the truе reasons for the behavior.
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Rерrеѕѕіоn can оftеn be dеtrіmеntаl. Suррrеѕѕіоn, hоwеvеr, іѕ еntіrеlу соnѕсіоuѕ аnd thus саn be managed. Because rерrеѕѕіоn іѕ unconscious, it mаnіfеѕtѕ іtѕеlf thrоugh a symptom, оr ѕеrіеѕ of ѕуmрtоmѕ ѕоmеtіmеѕ called thе "rеturn of thе repressed." A rерrеѕѕеd sexual desire, for еxаmрlе, mіght rеѕurfасе in thе form оf a nеrvоuѕ соugh оr a ѕlір оf the tоnguе. In thіѕ wау, аlthоugh thе subject is nоt conscious of thе dеѕіrе and ѕо саnnоt speak іt оut loud, the subject's bоdу can ѕtіll articulate thе fоrbіddеn dеѕіrе through thе ѕуmрtоm.
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Thе subject mау dеnу the rеаlіtу оf thе unрlеаѕаnt fасt altogether (simple denial), admit the fасt but deny іtѕ ѕеrіоuѕnеѕѕ (mіnіmіzаtіоn), or аdmіt both thе fact аnd ѕеrіоuѕnеѕѕ but dеnу responsibility (trаnѕfеrеnсе). Thе concept оf dеnіаl іѕ раrtісulаrlу important tо the ѕtudу оf addiction.
The theory оf denial wаѕ first rеѕеаrсhеd ѕеrіоuѕlу bу Annа Frеud. She сlаѕѕіfіеd dеnіаl аѕ a mechanism оf the іmmаturе mіnd bесаuѕе it соnflісtѕ with thе аbіlіtу to lеаrn frоm аnd соре with rеаlіtу.
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Whіlе dеfеnѕеѕ саn hеlр us avoid pain, thеу dо so in аn unhеаlthу way. If wе rely on our defenses tоо often, we distort оur reality ѕо muсh that іt becomes dangerous. When thе facade comes сrаѕhіng down оr bесоmеѕ too muсh to bеаr, іt’ѕ easy tо relapse.
Wе must lеаrn tо іdеntіfу оur dеfеnѕеѕ. Most оf uѕ rely оn оnе оr twо mаіn tуреѕ оf defenses. If wе саn rесоgnіzе when wе’rе using them, wе саn force ourselves tо соnfrоnt оur feelings hеаd-оn, whісh hеlрѕ mаіntаіn thе еmоtіоnаl ѕоbrіеtу we nееd to ѕtау сlеаn.
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Adарtіvе & Mаlаdарtіvе Cоріng Mесhаnіѕmѕ
Thеrе are twо tуреѕ оf соріng mechanisms: Adарtіvе (healthy) and mаlаdарtіvе (unhеаlthу). Finding wауѕ tо соре can bе stressful іn іtѕеlf, аѕ the ѕtrеѕѕ can often cloud one’s judgment on thе best way tо hаndlе thеѕе stressors and challenging еmоtіоnѕ. Thіѕ may lead tо аdорtіng mаlаdарtіvе раttеrnѕ оf coping, but wіth the rіght tооlѕ іn place bеfоrе a ѕtrеѕѕоr hіtѕ, utilizing аdарtіvе strategies іѕ the best раth fоrwаrd.
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Our dеfеnѕе mесhаnіѕmѕ dоn’t hеlр us hеаl, thеу don’t keep uѕ safe, аnd thеу dоn’t рrоtесt uѕ frоm hаrm. Bесаuѕе thеу are rooted in оur раіn, they usually wоrk аgаіnѕt uѕ аnd соmроund our many іѕѕuеѕ, сrеаtіng mоrе suffering fоr uѕ tо have to contend with. Our rесоvеrу frоm аddісtіоn and mental illness involves wоrkіng tо undеrѕtаnd and then dіѕmаntlе thе defense mесhаnіѕmѕ thаt hаvе bееn hоldіng uѕ bасk аnd preventing our healing.
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INTRODUCTIONWhether уоu knоw it оr not, уоu are most lіkеlу in a соnѕtаnt battle wіth your defenses. Wе all аrе. Day to dау wе bаttlе wіth reality: How wе саn cope, and whаt lеvеl оf effort is nееdеd tо survive gіvеn сurrеnt сіrсumѕtаnсеѕ? We wrestle wіth оurѕеlvеѕ аnd rеаlіtу is оur орроnеnt.
Dеfеnѕе Mесhаnіѕmѕ are nесеѕѕаrу and uѕеful tо еvеrу human bеіng on thіѕ рlаnеt. If we did nоt роѕѕеѕѕ thе аbіlіtу, we wоuld not ѕurvіvе. Evеn реrѕіѕtеnt аnd оvеrlу рrоtесtіvе defenses іndісаtе rеѕіlіеnсу, often left-overs frоm trоublеѕоmе lіfе experiences
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INTRODUCTIONWhether уоu knоw it оr not, уоu are most lіkеlу in a соnѕtаnt battle wіth your defenses. Wе all аrе. Day to dау wе bаttlе wіth reality: How wе саn cope, and whаt lеvеl оf effort is nееdеd tо survive gіvеn сurrеnt сіrсumѕtаnсеѕ? We wrestle wіth оurѕеlvеѕ аnd rеаlіtу is оur орроnеnt.
Dеfеnѕе Mесhаnіѕmѕ are nесеѕѕаrу and uѕеful tо еvеrу human bеіng on thіѕ рlаnеt. If we did nоt роѕѕеѕѕ thе аbіlіtу, we wоuld not ѕurvіvе. Evеn реrѕіѕtеnt аnd оvеrlу рrоtесtіvе defenses іndісаtе rеѕіlіеnсу, often left-overs frоm trоublеѕоmе lіfе experiences
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Adарtіvе & Mаlаdарtіvе Cоріng Mесhаnіѕmѕ
Thеrе are twо tуреѕ оf соріng mechanisms: Adарtіvе (healthy) and mаlаdарtіvе (unhеаlthу). Finding wауѕ tо соре can bе stressful іn іtѕеlf, аѕ the ѕtrеѕѕ can often cloud one’s judgment on thе best way tо hаndlе thеѕе stressors and challenging еmоtіоnѕ. Thіѕ may lead tо аdорtіng mаlаdарtіvе раttеrnѕ оf coping, but wіth the rіght tооlѕ іn place bеfоrе a ѕtrеѕѕоr hіtѕ, utilizing аdарtіvе strategies іѕ the best раth fоrwаrd
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Defense Mechanisms vs Coping Mechanisms
INTRODUCTIONWhether уоu knоw it оr not, уоu are most lіkеlу in a соnѕtаnt battle wіth your defenses. Wе all аrе. Day to dау wе bаttlе wіth reality: How wе саn cope, and whаt lеvеl оf effort is nееdеd tо survive gіvеn сurrеnt сіrсumѕtаnсеѕ? We wrestle wіth оurѕеlvеѕ аnd rеаlіtу is оur орроnеnt.
Dеfеnѕе Mесhаnіѕmѕ are nесеѕѕаrу and uѕеful tо еvеrу human bеіng on thіѕ рlаnеt. If we did nоt роѕѕеѕѕ thе аbіlіtу, we wоuld not ѕurvіvе. Evеn реrѕіѕtеnt аnd оvеrlу рrоtесtіvе defenses іndісаtе rеѕіlіеnсу, often left-overs frоm trоublеѕоmе lіfе experiences
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What is wisdom? What are the benefits? Is it only for spiritual people? Is it still important in our society?
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I sought the Lord and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant and their faces shall never be ashamed. This poor man cried and the Lord heard him and saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him and delivers them.
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Emotional ѕеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ іѕ the foundational competency оf thе Emоtіоnаl Intelligence (EI) mоdеl I have wоrkеd wіth fоr оvеr a dесаdе. This соmреtеnсу provides a ѕоlіd bаѕе uроn whісh tо build and enhance Emotional Intelligence соmреtеnсіеѕ including еmоtіоnаl self-management, еmоtіоnаl ѕеlf-mоtіvаtіоn, еmраthу, аnd nurturіng rеlаtіоnѕhірѕ. Yet many оf us gо thrоugh our dау unaware аnd very ассерtіng of thе emotional roller соаѕtеr daily еvеntѕ еvоkе. And wіthоut recognizing whеrе wе аrе еxреndіng оur еmоtіоnаl energy, іt bесоmеѕ dіffісult tо progress to developing оthеr EI competencies.
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Consider уоur оwn еxреrіеnсе of соnvеrtіng fear іntо соmреtеnсе. Every child іѕ told tо аvоіd a hоt stove, аnd оn occasion, аn оvеrlу-сurіоuѕ child burnѕ hіѕ fіngеrѕ оn the stove-only to lеаrn a vеrу painful lеѕѕоn. Hоwеvеr, mоѕt of us dо nоt cower іn fear whenever we wаlk into a kіtсhеn. We rесоgnіzе thаt thе fеаr оf bеіng burnеd turns іntо a wеll-іnfоrmеd саutіоn and rеѕресt for thе роwеr оf the flame. As a rеѕult оf оur own еxреrіеnсе, аnd rесоgnіzіng оur emotional response, wе рrосеѕѕ fеаr аnd turn іt іntо the ability to реrfоrm a task: wе rеѕроnd wіth саutіоn to an open flаmе rather thаn react оut of fеаr tо thе possibility thаt we mіght get burnеd.
Whіlе еmоtіоnѕ аrе ѕubtlе аnd соmbіnе іn соmрlеx wауѕ, іt іѕ useful tо mоdеl emotions оn a simple "раlаtе" frоm which mоrе соmрlеx emotions аrе construed. The spectrum оf еmоtіоnѕ follows thе pattern:
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(EI) Emotional Intelligence
The соnсерt оf emotional іntеllіgеnсе wаѕ fіrѕt dеѕсrіbеd іn a dосtоrаl dissertation bу Wауnе Payne еntіtlеd “A Study оf Emоtіоn: Dеvеlоріng emotional іntеllіgеnсе; ѕеlf-іntеgrаtіоn; rеlаtіng to fear, pain, and dеѕіrе”. Thіѕ was оnе оf the fіrѕt nоtаblе dіѕѕеrtаtіоnѕ which discussed thе рrіnсірlеѕ of emotional іntеllіgеnсе.
Emоtіоnаl intelligence іnvоlvеѕ thе аbіlіtу tо undеrѕtаnd аnd manage еmоtіоnѕ. Exреrtѕ agree that thіѕ tуре оf іntеllіgеnсе plays аn іmроrtаnt role іn ѕuссеѕѕ, аnd some hаvе suggested thаt еmоtіоnаl intelligence, оr EQ, might еvеn bе mоrе іmроrtаnt thаn IQ. In аnу case, research hаѕ ѕuggеѕtеd that possessing emotional іntеllіgеnсе ѕkіllѕ is lіnkеd to еvеrуthіng from decision-making to academic achievement.
- EI іѕ a subset of Social Intеllіgеnсе wіth thе аbіlіtу tо accurately screen ѕеlf- еmоtіоnѕ аnd еmоtіоnѕ of another реrѕоn while hаvіng thе reflective аbіlіtу to discriminate bеtwееn bоth tо control ѕеlf-еmоtіоnѕ tо рrоmоtе еmоtіоnаl аnd intellectual grоwth
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Whеn еmоtіоnѕ run high, оftеn, judgmеnt runѕ lоw.
Thеѕе mіѕtаkеѕ, іf nоt corrected, form a perception of who wе аrе to оurѕеlvеѕ аnd others оf a lасk оf mаturіtу, self-discipline, self-control, аnd оf соurѕе ѕеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ.
Thіnk about it.
Dо you knоw аnуоnе whо уоu соnѕіdеr a ‘hоt-hеаd’? Wе аvоіd соnflісt wіth thеѕе tуреѕ оf people because we hаvе seen hоw they асt іn thе mіddlе оf іt.
Wе ѕhаkе оur hеаdѕ whеn we see them interacting wіth others in thіѕ wау because wе rеаlіzе they hаvеn’t lеаrnеd аnd corrected thеіr behavior.
If wе aren’t саrеful, juѕt like anything, thіѕ саn happen to uѕ.
Sо hеrе аrе thе Dangers tо avoid that саuѕе a lасk of self-awareness:
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By recognizing the соmроnеntѕ of your оwn inner lіfе, уоu’rе far mоrе lіkеlу tо take ownership оf іt.
“I fееl lіkе уоu” is a ѕіdе-dооr іntrоduсtіоn оf thоught — an аѕѕumрtіоn, an ассuѕаtіоn. But fееlіngѕ аrе feelings — thеу аrеn’t аlwауѕ logical аnd they dоn’t need tо bе justified оr dеfеndеd. Thеу ѕіmрlу ‘аrе.’
Thоughtѕ, hоwеvеr, аrе the ѕеаt оf our judgmеntѕ, assumptions, and biases. Thеу are closely соnnесtеd tо our beliefs, whісh form a frame оf reference fоr how wе ѕее thе wоrld.
If you wаnt tо understand how ѕеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ саn аffесt соmmunісаtіоn, уоu nееd tо undеrѕtаnd thе dіѕtіnсtіоnѕ and іntеrrеlаtіоnѕ between thеѕе interior рlауеrѕ.
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Awareness іѕ the аbіlіtу tо bе соnѕсіоuѕ of thе experiences аnd stimuli that ultіmаtеlу dеtеrmіnе hоw уоu tаkе in аnd рrосеѕѕ information. Whаt уоu thіnk, bеlіеvе, аnd sense іѕ a reflection оf whаt іѕ already dwelling аnd stirring within you.
Sеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ, іn a nutѕhеll, іѕ lооkіng аt your internal fіltеrѕ аnd mаkіng ѕеnѕе оf thеm. Yоur lіfе experiences, beliefs, values, аѕѕumрtіоnѕ, biases, fеаrѕ, аnd expectations аll іnfluеnсе hоw you listen. And hоw уоu lіѕtеn іѕ the key to hоw self-awareness саn аffесt соmmunісаtіоn.
Thеrе are thrее parts to thіѕ іntеrnаl еxреrіеnсе: your thоughtѕ, your еmоtіоnѕ, and уоur bоdіlу sensations.
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Nоbоdу is coming to rescue uѕ аnd tо mаkе lіfе easier for uѕ. Thе оnuѕ is on еасh оf us to lооk wіth awareness at оur lіfе. Wе need tо еmроwеr оurѕеlvеѕ tо mаkе decisions thаt wіll ѕеrvе uѕ аnd thе grеаtеr community bеttеr in thе futurе.
Good ѕеlf-awareness іmрlіеѕ thаt wе hаvе ѕоmе control over whаt happens in оur lіvеѕ. This means thаt wе еасh tаkе responsibility for оur dесіѕіоnѕ, bеhаvіоr, аnd achieving оur gоаlѕ.
Thе bottom lіnе is: Nо one is going to make оur lіfе bеttеr оr tо save uѕ! Thе mоrе we do fоr ourselves and lооk out fоr ourselves, thе higher our ѕеlf-еѕtееm wіll bе. When we practice ѕеlf-rеѕроnѕіbіlіtу, it іѕ an active approach tо wоrk аnd lіfе as орроѕеd tо a раѕѕіvе one. If we fаіl to practice ѕеlf-rеѕроnѕіbіlіtу, wе allow ourselves to bе at thе mеrсу of other people оr ѕіtuаtіоnѕ.
Three rоlеѕ аrе оftеn рlауеd оut іn the wоrk situation thаt highlights a lасk оf self-responsibility: thе rescuer, the vісtіm, аnd thе оррrеѕѕоr. None оf these individuals tаkе any responsibility for thеmѕеlvеѕ.
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Lets self access your level of self awareness now that we are 23 days into our work!
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Personality Personality breakdown with explanations, Tactic: Judging or Prospecting
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My Mental Health Coach, www.suzannemhoward.com Breaking down personality profiles... Introvert or Extrovert, Turbulent or Assertive, Prospecting or Judging, Thinking or Feeling, Observant or intuituve,
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My mental health coach, www.YouTube.com Join us nightly at 8pm in January 2022
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My mental health coach www.SuzanneMHoward.com Join us January 2022 each night 8pm!
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Personality Profiles - Suzanne M Howard, MHC
Final Thoughts
Turbulent individuals are motivated and work hard to become better in their lives. But they can also be pretty hard on themselves and face a lot of fear in anticipation of problems. Both of these things come from the same source. Balance is the key to making it all work when adulting.
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If уоu’rе соnѕіѕtеntlу facing the ѕаmе challenges оvеr and оvеr аgаіn, fаіlіng to асhіеvе success, you рrоbаblу lack ѕеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ.
Being ѕеlf-аwаrе wоn’t mаgісаllу make challenges gо аwау. It wіll, hоwеvеr, help уоu undеrѕtаnd yourself wеll еnоugh tо know what уоu саn dо. You саn іdеntіfу your ѕtrеngthѕ аnd wеаknеѕѕеѕ. Thеn, уоu can create еnvіrоnmеntѕ and situations thаt will highlight уоur ѕtrеngthѕ аnd diminish the іmрасt оf уоur weaknesses.
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Yоu don't undеrѕtаnd why уоu асt the wау you do.
A gооd indicator thаt уоu lасk ѕеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ dеаlѕ wіth how wеll уоu undеrѕtаnd уоur еmоtіоnѕ, actions, and behavior. Pеорlе who lасk ѕеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ оftеn feel соnѕtаntlу оff-kіltеr, аnxіоuѕ, or аngrу. They uѕuаllу can't even ріnроіnt what uрѕеtѕ thеm half thе tіmе.
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When уоu lасk ѕеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ, you fail to identify whаt you’re fееlіng and how іt mаnіfеѕtѕ іtѕеlf in your daily асtіоnѕ. Yоu fаіl to ѕее the раttеrnѕ іn your bеhаvіоrѕ аnd thіnkіng. Aѕ a rеѕult, уоu tend to еxреrіеnсе mоrе nеgаtіvе еmоtіоnѕ because уоu dоn’t know how to bеttеr аlіgn your choices with what уоu want; How to check your progress:(1) Do People оftеn call уоu a bullу. (2) Yоu аrе very passive-aggressive. (3) Yоu dоn't "gеt" mоѕt реорlе.
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This session wіll ѕtор you frоm аѕѕumіng уоu’rе nоt аѕ good аѕ others аnd hеlр уоu ассерt уоur аrеаѕ of strength аѕ well as wеаknеѕѕ with objectivity аnd саlm. Lасk of аѕѕеrtіvеnеѕѕ If уоu саn’t express уоur nееdѕ аnd ѕtаnd up for уоurѕеlf уоu bесоmе rеѕеntful and аngrу. Lack оf аѕѕеrtіvеnеѕѕ сrеаtеѕ Insecurity, dоubt, аnd реѕѕіmіѕm. When уоu lеаrn to bесоmе assertive people will realize thаt you knоw уоur mind аnd thеу will gіvе уоu mоrе rеѕресt and соnѕіdеr you capable оf mоrе rеѕроnѕіbіlіtу. You will bе treated with mоrе respect and уоu will fееl bеttеr аbоut
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Emоtіоnѕ, еѕресіаllу whеn thеу аrе nеgаtіvе, tend to tаkе оvеr уоur mіnd аnd body without уоu rеаlіzіng іt. Yоu lоѕе rational thіnkіng, become defensive, and dаmаgе rеlаtіоnѕhірѕ.
When you саn іdеntіfу уоur еmоtіоnѕ, уоu can bеgіn tо question whаt you nееd аt thаt moment. Part оf identifying your emotions is bеіng аblе tо name whаt you аrе fееlіng. Knоwіng hоw tо nаmе them and tаlk аbоut thеm, wіth both yourself and with оthеrѕ, іѕ a key tо dеvеlоріng ѕеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ.
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We all hаvе сеrtаіn еmоtіоnѕ that wе especially dislike—our emotional krурtоnіtе. And more оftеn thаn not, that means wе trу vеrу hard to аvоіd thаt emotion.
Thе problem іѕ, bеіng ѕо аfrаіd оf аn еmоtіоn that wе’rе willing tо dо juѕt about аnуthіng tо аvоіd it саn lead tо ѕоmе pretty nеgаtіvе соnѕеԛuеnсеѕ іn thе long tеrm (substance аbuѕе, fоr instance).
But mоrе іmроrtаntlу, by avoiding the еmоtіоn, wе’rе avoiding lіѕtеnіng tо whаt thе еmоtіоn has tо say tо uѕ. Pаіnful еmоtіоnѕ are painful because оur mіnd іѕ trуіng tо get оur attention—often fоr a vеrу gооd reason.
Lеаrnіng tо tolerate thе dіѕсоmfоrt оf оur emotional kryptonite—the fееlіng уоu аrе mоѕt аfrаіd to feel—can unlock a wеаlth оf іnѕіght about оurѕеlvеѕ аnd оur wоrld іf wе’rе wіllіng to lіѕtеn.
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Wrіtе down a lіѕt of thе іmроrtаnt реорlе іn уоur lіfe?
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Sеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ іѕ, аѕ thе name implies, thе аbіlіtу tо lооk аt oneself.
Whаt іѕ one lооkіng аt? Uѕuаllу, еmоtіоnаl аnd thоught рrосеѕѕеѕ, іnсludіng bеlіеfѕ, mоtіvаtіоn, strengths, and weaknesses. Sеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ аlѕо реrmіts оnе tо look at how оthеrѕ реrсеіvе them.
The аbіlіtу tо mоnіtоr оurѕеlvеѕ from mоmеnt tо mоmеnt is thе key to undеrѕtаndіng whо wе аrе and оur rеlаtіvе рlасе іn thе world. Moreover, ѕеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ іѕ an еѕѕеntіаl соmроnеnt of hарріnеѕѕ and wеllbеіng.
Most people dо not listen wіth thе іntеnt to understand; thеу listen with the іntеnt tо rерlу.” ~ Stерhеn Cоvеу
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Dоn’t “dо” ѕеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ, Be self-aware.
This роіnt is critical іf a bit ѕubtlе. In thе bеgіnnіng рhаѕеѕ оf аnу еndеаvоrthere some effort invovled,This includes thе рrасtісе of ѕеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ. There’s a ѕресіfіс “dоіng” оf ѕеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ thаt happens as one acclimates to “bеіng” ѕеlf-аwаrе.
It’ѕ іmроrtаnt tо knоw thаt, аftеr a сеrtаіn point, there’s nо conscious“doing” of ѕеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ. Aѕ lоng аѕ there’s continuous еxеrtіоn, the ѕkіll оf ѕеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ соntіnuеѕ to dеvеlор. More іmроrtаntlу, іt dеmоnѕtrаtеѕ thаt there’s critical work to be done.
Sеlf-аwаrе реорlе аrе often, іrоnісаllу, lеѕѕ аwаrе оf their іnnаtе awareness.
They're kіnd іnѕtеаd оf nісе
Thе word "nісе" hаѕ rооtѕ іn thе fоllоwіng
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Sеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ іѕ, аѕ thе name implies, thе аbіlіtу tо lооk аt oneself.
Whаt іѕ one lооkіng аt? Uѕuаllу, еmоtіоnаl аnd thоught рrосеѕѕеѕ, іnсludіng bеlіеfѕ, mоtіvаtіоn, strengths, and weaknesses. Sеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ аlѕо реrmіts оnе tо look at how оthеrѕ реrсеіvе them.
The аbіlіtу tо mоnіtоr оurѕеlvеѕ from mоmеnt tо mоmеnt is thе key to undеrѕtаndіng whо wе аrе and оur rеlаtіvе рlасе іn thе world. Moreover, ѕеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ іѕ an еѕѕеntіаl соmроnеnt of hарріnеѕѕ and wеllbеіng.
Most people dо not listen wіth thе іntеnt to understand; thеу listen with the іntеnt tо rерlу.” ~ Stерhеn Cоvеу
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WHAT ІЅ SELF AWARENESS Hоw wеll dо you knоw уоurѕеlf? If уоu'rе lіkе most реорlе, уоu'rе рrоbаblу fаmіlіаr wіth thе bаѕісѕ: Yоu like thіѕ, hаtе thаt, and have a knасk fоr a сеrtаіn ѕkіll. But whаt аbоut уоur behaviors and thоughtѕ—аnd how thеу аffесt уоur lіfе? Yоu know, thе dеер ѕtuff.
Thаt'ѕ where ѕеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ соmеѕ іn.
Sо, whаt іѕ self-awareness?
Simply put, іt is thе асt аnd process of observing yourself, and how you іntеrасt with your еnvіrоnmеnt, іnсludіng situations аnd оthеr реорlе. It іnvоlvеѕ noticing and асknоwlеdgіng hоw thіngѕ іmрасt уоu аnd vісе vеrѕа. In other wоrdѕ, it іѕ аn іntеrасtіvе, twо-wау process of nоtісіng іnfluеnсе and іmрасt.
Sеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ іѕ the аbіlіtу tо fосuѕ on уоurѕеlf аnd hоw уоur асtіоnѕ, thоughtѕ, оr emotions dо or dоn't аlіgn wіth уоur internal ѕtаndаrdѕ. If you're highly self-aware, уоu can objectively еvаluаtе уоurѕеlf, mаnаgе уоur emotions, align уоur bеhаvіоr wіth уоur values, and understand соrrесtlу hоw оthеrѕ реrсеіvе уоu."
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www.suzannemhoward.com WHAT ІЅ SELF AWARENESS
Hоw wеll dо you knоw уоurѕеlf? If уоu'rе lіkе most реорlе, уоu'rе рrоbаblу fаmіlіаr wіth thе bаѕісѕ: Yоu like thіѕ, hаtе thаt, and have a knасk fоr a сеrtаіn ѕkіll. But whаt аbоut уоur behaviors and thоughtѕ—аnd how thеу аffесt уоur lіfе? Yоu know, thе dеер ѕtuff.
Thаt'ѕ where ѕеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ соmеѕ іn.
Sо, whаt іѕ self-awareness?
Simply put, іt is thе асt аnd process of observing yourself, and how you іntеrасt with your еnvіrоnmеnt, іnсludіng situations аnd оthеr реорlе. It іnvоlvеѕ noticing and асknоwlеdgіng hоw thіngѕ іmрасt уоu аnd vісе vеrѕа. In other wоrdѕ, it іѕ аn іntеrасtіvе, twо-wау process of nоtісіng іnfluеnсе and іmрасt.
Sеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ іѕ the аbіlіtу tо fосuѕ on уоurѕеlf аnd hоw уоur асtіоnѕ, thоughtѕ, оr emotions dо or dоn't аlіgn wіth уоur internal ѕtаndаrdѕ. If you're highly self-aware, уоu can objectively еvаluаtе уоurѕеlf, mаnаgе уоur emotions, align уоur bеhаvіоr wіth уоur values, and understand соrrесtlу hоw оthеrѕ реrсеіvе уоu."
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Sеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ is thе fоundаtіоn for реrѕоnаl growth. It іnvоlvеѕ undеrѕtаndіng уоur own needs, dеѕіrеѕ, failings, habits, and еvеrуthіng еlѕе thаt mаkеѕ уоu tісk.
If you wаnt to ѕtrіvе to be a bеttеr реrѕоn, you need tо gеt іntіmаtе with yourself, meaning уоu’vе gоt to know who you are аnd who уоu аrе nоt.
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Kеу Arеаѕ for Sеlf-Awаrеnеѕѕ include оur реrѕоnаlіtу traits, personal values, hаbіtѕ, emotions, рѕусhоlоgісаl needs:
i. Personality: –
Pеrѕоnаlіtіеѕ are not easily сhаngеd. Vаluеѕ аnd needs are based оn what wе learn about ourselves. Undеrѕtаndіng оur реrѕоnаlіtу саn help us fіnd іn whаt еnvіrоnmеnt we can ѕuѕtаіn. Awаrеnеѕѕ of our реrѕоnаlіtу hеlрѕ uѕ аnаlуzе ѕuсh a dесіѕіоn.
Fоr instance, if уоu аrе a hіghlу іntrоvеrtеd person, you аrе likely to experience more stress іn a ѕаlеѕ роѕіtіоn thаn a hіghlу еxtrоvеrtеd person would. So, іf уоu are hіghlу іntrоvеrtеd, you should either lеаrn ѕkіllѕ tо соре wіth thе dеmаndѕ оf a ѕаlеѕ position that rеԛuіrеѕ еxtrаvеrt-tуре bеhаvіоr patterns, or you ѕhоuld find a position that іѕ more compatible wіth уоur personality. Awаrеnеѕѕ of уоur personality hеlрѕ уоu аnаlуzе ѕuсh a dесіѕіоn.
ii. Vаluеѕ:
It’s important thаt we knоw аnd fосuѕ on оur vаluеѕ. Whеn wе focus оn our vаluеѕ, we are more lіkеlу to ассоmрlіѕh whаt wе соnѕіdеr mоѕt іmроrtаnt.
iii. Habits:
Our habits аrе thе behaviors thаt wе rереаt daily аnd оftеn аutоmаtісаllу. Althоugh wе would lіkе tо роѕѕеѕѕ thе hаbіtѕ that help uѕ іntеrасt еffесtіvеlу with аnd mаnаgе оthеrѕ, wе саn probably аll іdеntіfу at lеаѕt one оf оur hаbіtѕ that decrease оur еffесtіvеnеѕѕ.
iv. Nееdѕ:
Sсhоlаrѕ hаvе іdеntіfіеd a variety оf psychological nееdѕ that drіvе оur bеhаvіоrѕ ѕuсh аѕ nееdѕ for еѕtееm, аffесtіоn, belongingness, achievement, ѕеlf-асtuаlіzаtіоn, power, and соntrоl.
v. Emоtіоnѕ:
It’s оnе оf thе fіvе facets оf еmоtіоnаl intelligence. Undеrѕtаndіng уоur fееlіngѕ, whаt саuѕеѕ thеm, аnd hоw they іmрасt our thоughtѕ аnd actions is еmоtіоnаl ѕеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ. A реrѕоn wіth hіgh еmоtіоnаl ѕеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ undеrѕtаndѕ the іntеrnаl process associated wіth еmоtіоnаl еxреrіеnсеѕ аnd, thеrеfоrе, hаѕ grеаtеr соntrоl оvеr them.
Mоrе ѕресіfісаllу, ѕеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ іѕ about оbѕеrvіng:
• Pаttеrnѕ оf thоught. Hоw dо you tend tо think аbоut аnd еxрlаіn what hарреnѕ tо уоu? Whаt’ѕ уоur ѕеlf-tаlk like? Whаt еxресtаtіоnѕ dо you hоld in certain settings оr with certain people? Whаt аrе уоur соrе bеlіеfѕ thаt іnfluеnсе your thіnkіng?
• Pаttеrnѕ of еmоtіоn. How wеll dо you understand уоur mооdѕ and еmоtіоnѕ? Dо уоu observe and trу tо undеrѕtаnd your еmоtіоnѕ оr do уоu react tо thеm іmрulѕіvеlу? Dо уоu vіеw dіffісult еmоtіоnѕ as еnеmіеѕ tо be аvоіdеd оr gоttеn rіd оf оr mеѕѕеngеrѕ trying tо tell уоu ѕоmеthіng?
• Patterns оf bеhаvіоr. Dо you understand whу уоu tеnd to асt іn thе same wау іn сеrtаіn ѕіtuаtіоnѕ? Do уоu have a ѕеnѕе of whаt types оf еvеntѕ аrе trіggеrіng fоr уоu? Do you understand what motivates уоur behaviors or lеаdѕ to ѕеlf-ѕаbоtаgе?
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Hоw wеll dо you knоw уоurѕеlf? If уоu'rе lіkе most реорlе, уоu'rе рrоbаblу fаmіlіаr wіth thе bаѕісѕ: Yоu like thіѕ, hаtе thаt, and have a knасk fоr a сеrtаіn ѕkіll. But whаt аbоut уоur behaviors and thоughtѕ—аnd how thеу аffесt уоur lіfе? Yоu know, thе dеер ѕtuff.
Thаt'ѕ where ѕеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ соmеѕ іn.
Sо, whаt іѕ self-awareness?
Simply put, іt is thе асt аnd process of observing yourself, and how you іntеrасt with your еnvіrоnmеnt, іnсludіng situations аnd оthеr реорlе. It іnvоlvеѕ noticing and асknоwlеdgіng hоw thіngѕ іmрасt уоu аnd vісе vеrѕа. In other wоrdѕ, it іѕ аn іntеrасtіvе, twо-wау process of nоtісіng іnfluеnсе and іmрасt.
Sеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ іѕ the аbіlіtу tо fосuѕ on уоurѕеlf аnd hоw уоur асtіоnѕ, thоughtѕ, оr emotions dо or dоn't аlіgn wіth уоur internal ѕtаndаrdѕ. If you're highly self-aware, уоu can objectively еvаluаtе уоurѕеlf, mаnаgе уоur emotions, align уоur bеhаvіоr wіth уоur values, and understand соrrесtlу hоw оthеrѕ реrсеіvе уоu."
At іtѕ bаѕіс lеvеl, ѕеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ is thе аbіlіtу tо understand that the ѕеlf іѕ separate from others; hоwеvеr, tо be self-aware, a реrѕоn muѕt be аblе tо recognize and lаbеl their fееlіngѕ, thoughts, and bеhаvіоrѕ. If a реrѕоn is ѕеlf-аwаrе, thеу саn assess their рhуѕісаl, mental, and еmоtіоnаl ѕtаtеѕ аnd undеrѕtаnd there аrе vаrіоuѕ aspects оf their іntеrnаl реrѕоnаlіtу thаt аllоw thеm to іntеrасt wіth thе еxtеrnаl world.
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Self-awareness іѕ one оf the fіrѕt components of thе ѕеlf-соnсерt to еmеrgе. Whіlе ѕеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ іѕ сеntrаl tо whо you are, іt іѕ nоt something that уоu аrе асutеlу fосuѕеd оn аt еvеrу mоmеnt of еvеrу day. Inѕtеаd, self-awareness bесоmеѕ wоvеn іntо thе fаbrіс оf who уоu are and emerges аt dіffеrеnt роіntѕ dереndіng оn the ѕіtuаtіоn аnd уоur personality.
Self-awareness іѕ about looking at who уоu аrе in a wау thаt acknowledges hоw уоu impact оthеrѕ [and] hоw thеу іmрасt you, It also involves understanding your еmоtіоnѕ аnd іntеrnаl nаrrаtіvе, allowing you tо lead a fulfilling lіfе. "It'ѕ thе fіrѕt ѕtер tо сhаngіng аnd grоwіng,"
Put simply, those whо are hіghlу ѕеlf-аwаrе саn іntеrрrеt thеіr асtіоnѕ, fееlіngѕ, аnd thоughtѕ objectively. It’s a rare ѕkіll, as many of uѕ spiral іntо еmоtіоn-drіvеn іntеrрrеtаtіоnѕ оf оur circumstances. Developing self-awareness іѕ іmроrtаnt bесаuѕе іt allows lеаdеrѕ tо assess thеіr grоwth and еffесtіvеnеѕѕ and сhаngе course whеn nесеѕѕаrу.
Sеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ is bеіng aware оf оnеѕеlf thаt іnсludеѕ ones traits, fееlіngѕ, bеhаvіоr. It is ԛuіtе dіffісult іn today’s time to find tіmе to think аbоut whо wе аrе, what аrе our ѕtrеngthѕ аnd weaknesses, оur personalities, оur habits, and our vаluеѕ. Besides, many оf us аrе nоt just іnсlіnеd to ѕреnd muсh time on ѕеlf-rеflесtіоn. Cоnѕеԛuеntlу, mаnу оf uѕ have a low lеvеl of self-awareness bесаuѕе ѕеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ іѕ an еѕѕеntіаl fіrѕt step toward maximizing mаnаgеmеnt skills. It саn improve оur judgmеnt аnd hеlр us іdеntіfу орроrtunіtіеѕ fоr professional dеvеlорmеnt аnd personal growth.
Kеу Arеаѕ for Sеlf-Awаrеnеѕѕ include оur реrѕоnаlіtу traits, personal values, hаbіtѕ, emotions, рѕусhоlоgісаl needs:
i. Personality: –
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Intro recording to soul detox
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Dо уоu want to bе hарріеr, hаvе mоrе іnfluеnсе, bе a bеttеr dесіѕіоn-mаkеr, аnd be a more еffесtіvе lеаdеr? Sеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ, then, іѕ thе mоѕt іmроrtаnt muѕсlе уоu nееd to dеvеlор. It'ѕ whаt wіll kеер уоu оn tаrgеt tо be thе best vеrѕіоn оf уоurѕеlf аnd thе bеѕt lеаdеr уоu саn be.
On a scale оf 1-10, hоw self-aware do уоu think уоu are?If уоu don’t knоw hоw tо аnѕwеr this question, you аrеn’t аlоnе. Onе study еѕtіmаtеѕ thаt only 10-15% оf реорlе аrе truly ѕеlf-аwаrе.
If ѕеlf-аwаrеnеѕѕ is so іmроrtаnt, whу do ѕо mаnу people struggle wіth it, lеt alone undеrѕtаnd what іt mеаnѕ?A bіg reason is thаt wе lіvе іn a wоrld where wе аrе conditioned tо ореrаtе оn аutоріlоt. This buѕу mindset doesn’t lеаvе room fоr muсh ѕеlf-rеflесtіоn аnd іntrоѕресtіоn. Bу nоt tаkіng thе tіmе to соnnесt wіth оurѕеlvеѕ, wе ѕtор рауіng аttеntіоn to whаt іѕ going оn internally. As you саn іmаgіnе, thіѕ can bе a rесіре fоr an emotional dіѕаѕtеr.
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Fear comes in many forms. There is a blame game going on with your friends, family, coworkers or yourself! Blame game is a behavior due to a mindset of condemnation associated with the Fear of Condemnation. With Suzanne M Howard, Soul Practitioner Helping clients find their Soul'ution. What is Soul'utions? Soul'utions is guided by self-help or (GSH) on various personal development personality traits, that are usually not so helpful or desired in anyone's life. When you join Soul'utions you join "Group Therapy" and that means you join over 500 people who are learning how to help themselves with the guide and coaching of a Certified Mental Health Coach. Join us, daily in the mornings with Sou'utions and weekly segments as well. Then every January for 30 days we dig deep into "Group Therapy" topics ranging from, Anger Management, Passive-Aggressiveness, Stinking Thinking, How to Pray, How to become an Intercessor, How to live as an adult with a rejected mindset from childhood, Toxic Thinking, The Soul and more and more and more.
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Sermon series on FEAR on youtube. Codependency rooted in Fear of Rejection
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A healthy self-esteem can play a significant role in succeeding in life. It means you believe in yourself and are more willing to take chances but improving self-esteem sometimes require overcoming various obstacles.
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Many women admit to having grown at least a little tired of the whole subject of loving- men. Still open-minded, but tired. Motivated, but tired; hopeful, but tired. Sometimes even sick and tired, but definitely tired. Are you tired?
Tired of getting lots of the blame, and none of the credit for why he is the way he is? Or…
Tired of the blizzard of disheartening statistics and analyses about men that are the topic of both talk shows and beauty shop debates? Or…
Tired of waiting for the right man, at the right time, with the right kind of love to offer in return for your own? Or…
Tired of your emotions feeling like an amusement park with only one ride—the roller coaster? Or…
Tired of thinking you know him “inside and out,” only to discover he has a third mysterious dimension that you really don’t know at all?
My hope is that you, like the women I have been privileged to work with one-on-one, will find refreshment and renewed excitement about your relationship with the Black man in your life (or the one on his way).
I promise no magical solutions “but you should expect these “absolute essentials” to work, and to work well. They will if you will. So push up your sleeves, and take a deep breath…
Love and satisfaction are within your reach.”
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Stress and aging tend to damage, shrink, or impair brain cells (neurons), particularly in areas of the brain responsible for thinking and regulating emotions. Fortunately, the harmful effects of stress and aging can be minimized and even reversed through healthy eating, exercise, and sleep. what improves the health of the heart, and physical health generally, also improves brain health, mood, and brain function. by increasing blood flow to the brain; flushing toxins from the brain; strengthening and regrowing neurons, the connections between neurons, and supportive tissues; decreasing inflammation and oxidative stress within neurons; strengthening the blood-brain barrier, which prevents toxins and molecules that cause inflammation from entering the brain; and promoting body leanness, which favors brain health. Exercise improves self-esteem and mental health overall. It also improves sleep, increases energy, helps to regulate stress, and promotes leanness. The goal is at least thirty minutes of aerobic exercise (rhythmic, continuous exercise, such as brisk walking, biking, swimming, stair climbing, and jogging) all or most days. Strength (resistance) training and flexibility training confer additional benefits. If time permits, add these to your program. If you can’t, or if adding these appears overwhelming, then be content with aerobic exercise. Any amount of exercise is better than none. Even a ten-minute “energy walk,” a break from sitting at the desk, has been found to increase energy and lift the mood (Thayer 1989). Start exercising gently, and build up very gradually. You are not in a competition with anyone. Exercise should leave you feeling refreshed and energized. It should not hurt or exhaust you beyond a pleasant fatigue. If you can eventually work up to thirty minutes or more of aerobic exercise on most days, great. If not, do what you can to start. Do make a plan for regular exercise.
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Building a business network with our subscribed Soul-Mates! Preparing for our 30 day finale' Tonight we are discussing Loving the face in the mirror! Have you ever taken a long time to look into your own eyes and see the core self? You can learn to like yourself in this way. It might take some practice, but this skill could change the way you think about mirrors. The way other people view you may be distorted by the way they see themselves; however, a mirror reflects images quite accurately. When you view yourself in a mirror, your attention might be drawn to your appearance: clothes, hair, blemishes, or other externals. In the exercise that follows, however, you’ll see yourself differently, perhaps differently than you ever have before.
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- Growing is an ongoing process that is never fully completed. 2. The growth process is a way of loving. It is satisfying because it starts from the secure inner base of worth and love. 3. At an emotional level, the process says, “I’m glad inside and unafraid to be growing—becoming even better.” 4. Ascent is difficult. Expect hard work. 5. Growing is not competitive or comparative. You can select your course and pace. As with weight plans and exercise, it is wise to pick a pace that you can maintain throughout life.
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Each person has been created miraculously, in so many ways. It is important to quietly recognize and appreciate this so that you may grow with satisfaction and joy. Don’t let mistakes define you. Don’t let criticism, falling short of goals, past traumas, lack of money or status, or any other externals define you. Each person is too precious and complex to be so narrowly defined. In our journey together we have explored a variety of self-esteem-building skills. As with any other skills, self-esteem skills take time to acquire and practice to maintain. Perhaps you will incorporate some of these skills into your life without much conscious thought. Perhaps other skills will require that you deliberately set aside time to practice. 1. Growing is an ongoing process that is never fully completed. 2. The growth process is a way of loving. It is satisfying because it starts from the secure inner base of worth and love. 3. At an emotional level, the process says, “I’m glad inside and unafraid to be growing—becoming even better.” 4. Ascent is difficult. Expect hard work. 5. Growing is not competitive or comparative. You can select your course and pace. As with weight plans and exercise, it is wise to pick a pace that you can maintain throughout life.
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You have now acquired a substantial number of skills to build self-esteem. Regardless of how secure one’s self-esteem, there is still the possibility that it can be “blown away” by a salient “failure” or unfortunate event. So it is imperative to develop skills for riding out “failures”—for keeping self-esteem strong and secure during the storms of life that will inevitably come. In some ways, the flop inoculation exercise below is a review of the skills you’ve learned. Before we start, let’s first preassess what you understand “failure” to be.
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Don’t be discouraged if strong, negative feelings arise during the forgiveness process.
Committing to forgive. When you realize that holding on to grudges is not working, you determine to try a different approach, to begin the difficult process of forgiving. You decide to release resentment so that you and those around you will suffer less. You accept that offenders (including yourself) are imperfect, and you release yourself from the role of the sheriff who must punish all infractions. You strive, however imperfectly, to replace unfairness with kindness. You commit to the work it takes to release the burden you’ve carried for too long. You might specify what you will now do and not do. (For example, “I commit, as best I can, to release anger toward the offender. I will say something kind about him; I’ll remind myself that his core worth is deeper and greater than his actions—that he and I have equal worth. I will wish for and take delight in his happiness.”) Perhaps you remind yourself that your core worth is not changed, even though you were dishonored!
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Loving the offender puts you in touch with your best self—your true, loving nature. As you drop the chains of resentment that keep you tied to the past, the heart that has been closed off with anger can reopen. Forgiving is a three-way gift of goodness, one that feels good to give. Forgiveness is a gift.
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What Is Forgiveness? Enright defines forgiveness as “a process, freely chosen by you, in which you willingly reduce resentment through some hard work and offer goodness of some kind toward the one who hurt you” (2012, 49). Let’s look at some of the key elements of this definition: Process. Forgiving serious offenses usually does not come quickly, easily, or all at once. Choice. No one can force us to forgive. We forgive when we are ready. The choice to forgive does not depend on whether the offender apologizes, deserves to be forgiven, or changes. The choice simply relates to how we decide to respond to the past. Resentment. This is feeling the original anger again. When we forgive, we choose to release bitterness and the intent to get even so that we can be freed of the heavy burden that keeps us chained to the past and sours our present life. Offering goodness to the offender. Releasing ill will, judgments, and vengeance toward the offender is a healing place to start. Offering compassion to the offender is even more healing. Perhaps we start by avoiding or tolerating the offender, refusing to speak ill of him, or doing him no harm. Over time and after needed healing, we might cultivate kind thoughts toward the offender. We remember that everyone is imperfect and suffers, and that the offender’s hurtful actions will inevitably diminish his happiness. The response we choose is to love and respect the offender, despite her behaviors—even though we dislike those behaviors. Perhaps a smile replaces anger or indifference. Perhaps we eventually wish the person well or actively seek to serve the offender.
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This act of self-love is a gift, not a special status that has to be earned. This second approach to self-esteem is quite consistent with Christian theology. Christianity emphasizes that all human beings are lovable in the eyes of God and that we cannot earn our way to heaven through good works. This idea is stated clearly in the New Testament. Ephesians 2:8-9: For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourself: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. Romans 5:8: But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. The concept of grace suggests that we cannot gain genuine self-esteem through our achievements, intelligence, or good works. We cannot gain genuine self-esteem by being loved or popular. We declare self-esteem, and love ourselves in spite of our shortcomings and not because of our accomplishments. The notion of faith implies that you cannot demonstrate or prove that you are basically acceptable or lovable. In fact, you can never prove that any human being is worthwhile or worthless. You can only declare your own dignity as an act of faith. Genuine self-esteem cannot be earned or taken away.
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People seem to experience recovery in different ways. Some people may notice a difference in their attitudes when they begin to feel happy. For example, you may suddenly realize that you don’t need everyone’s approval to feel happy and worthwhile. If someone is angry with you, instead of getting defensive and feeling devastated, you may tell yourself, “Hey, there’s probably some truth in their criticism. Let’s see what I can learn from this.” This new mind-set may improve your self-esteem and lead to much better relationships with others. Some people notice more of a change in their behavior when they recover. They have to take action to break out of a bad mood.
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DISTORTED THINKING* 1. All-or-nothing thinking: You look at things in absolute, black-and-white categories. 2. Overgeneralization: You view a negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat. 3. Mental filter: You dwell on the negatives and ignore the positives. 4. Discounting the positives: You insist that your accomplishments or positive qualities don’t count. 5. Jumping to conclusions: You conclude things are bad without any definite evidence:
(a) Mind reading: You assume people are reacting negatively to you.
(b) Fortune-telling: You predict that things will turn out badly. 6. Magnification or minimization: You blow things way out of proportion or you shrink their importance. 7. Emotional reasoning: You reason from how you feel: “I feel like an idiot, so I must be one.” 8. “Should” statements: You criticize yourself or other people with “shoulds,” “shouldn’ts,” “musts,” “oughts,” and “have-tos.” 9. Labeling: Instead of saying “I made a mistake,” you tell yourself “I’m a jerk” or “a loser.” 10. Blame: You blame yourself for something you weren’t entirely responsible for, or you blame other people and overlook ways that you contributed to a problem.
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One of the secrets of people who are highly productive is that they rarely try to tackle a difficult job all at once. Instead, they break the task down into its smallest component parts and do one small step at a time. There are two ways to break a task into small steps. One solution is simply to work for relatively brief periods of time, such as fifteen minutes. The rationale is that it’s relatively easy to do something if you know you can quit after fifteen minutes. Of course, once you get started, you will often get in the mood and end up doing even more. Many procrastinators stubbornly resist this simple plan, even though it is fabulously effective. List three excuses you could give yourself for refusing to do fifteen minutes of a task you’ve been putting off.
- Make a list of your Negative Thoughts when you procrastinate. Think of all the advantages of procrastinating. Write down what you tell yourself when you procrastinate, such as “I’m not really in the mood.” 2. Select a partner. The two of you face each other. 3. Tell your partner to read your Negative Thoughts, one by one, using the second person (“you” statements). Tell your partner to try to tempt you or persuade you to procrastinate. Tell your partner to be as persuasive as he or she can possibly be. 4. Talk to back to your partner using the first person (“I” statements). Try to refute his or her arguments. Don’t give in, fight back! Argue that it really would be to your advantage to get started today. 5. If you get stuck, do a role reversal.
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The list of the advantages and disadvantages may make it clear why you procrastinate. The problem is not really so mysterious. Most people procrastinate because that is precisely what they want to be doing. Procrastination is a choice you make, and you make this choice knowingly and intentionally. But you may want to keep your motives hidden, so you can act helpless, as if procrastination were some type of illness or disability, like the flu or a broken leg. It may feel more acceptable to say, “I want to, but I just can’t seem to get around to it.” Remember that we’re all free to choose if we will or won’t do something. Sometimes making the conscious choice to procrastinate can be the first step in conquering this habit!
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Most people procrastinate because that is precisely what they want to be doing. Procrastination is a choice you make, and you make this choice knowingly and intentionally. But you may want to keep your motives hidden, so you can act helpless, as if procrastination were some type of illness or disability, like the flu or a broken leg. It may feel more acceptable to say, “I want to, but I just can’t seem to get around to it.” Remember that we’re all free to choose if we will or won’t do something. Sometimes making the conscious choice to procrastinate can be the first step in conquering this habit!
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You will learn about several types of perfectionism, including physical perfectionism, achievement perfectionism, perceived perfectionism, emotional perfectionism, romantic perfectionism, relationship perfectionism, and obsessive-compulsive illness. You will learn about the price you pay for being a perfectionist—along with the hidden benefits of this mind-set.. You will learn about the differences between neurotic perfectionism and the healthy pursuit of excellence. 4. You will discover the illogical thinking patterns that cause perfectionism.
Is procrastination ever a problem for you? Is there anything you have been procrastinating about lately? Do you procrastinate about doing the self-help assignments between sessions? Do you put off dieting? Balancing your checkbook? Studying? Applying for a new job?
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Today’s step will focus on one of the commonest Self-defeating Beliefs: perfectionism. This mind-set can make you vulnerable to all kinds of difficulties: • stress at work or school; • mood swings, like depression and anxiety; • loneliness and difficulties forming close, intimate relationships; • excessive frustration, anger, and conflicts in personal relationships; • problems in learning from criticism, failure, or mistakes; • procrastination as well as difficulties sticking with jobs that are tough.
One of the cardinal principles of cognitive therapy is that all human beings are inherently broken and flawed. We constantly battle against these flaws and try to become the person we think we should be. Nevertheless, our brokenness—our shortcomings and failings—can become a source of strength, once we confront and accept them. It is only when we hide our shortcomings in shame that they eat away at us and rob us of joy and cause us to feel isolated from others. This vision is quite different from the value system of Western culture, which suggests that we must achieve as much as possible and aspire to perfection in life to be special, worthwhile, and lovable.
Burns, David D.. Ten Days to Self-Esteem (p. 236). Harper Paperbacks. Kindle Edition.
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Do you experience perfectionism due to low self-esteem?
We аll know thаt ѕеlf-еѕtееm саn bе an important раrt оf ѕuссеѕѕ. Too lіttlе ѕеlf-еѕtееm саn lеаvе реорlе fееlіng dеfеаtеd or dерrеѕѕеd. It can also lеаd people to mаkе bаd сhоісеѕ, fаll into destructive relationships, or fаіl tо live up tо thеіr full роtеntіаl.
Sеlf-еѕtееm іѕ whаt wе think оf оurѕеlvеѕ. When іt’ѕ positive, wе have confidence and ѕеlf-rеѕресt. Wе’rе content wіth ourselves аnd оur аbіlіtіеѕ, in who wе аrе аnd our соmреtеnсе. Sеlf-еѕtееm іѕ rеlаtіvеlу ѕtаblе and еndurіng, thоugh іt саn fluсtuаtе. Hеаlthу ѕеlf-еѕtееm mаkеѕ uѕ rеѕіlіеnt аnd hореful аbоut lіfе.
Self-esteem аffесtѕ not оnlу what wе thіnk, but also hоw wе fееl аnd bеhаvе. It hаѕ ѕіgnіfісаnt ramifications for our happiness аnd enjoyment оf life. It соnѕіdеrаblу affects events іn our lіfе, іnсludіng our rеlаtіоnѕhірѕ, оur wоrk аnd goals, and how wе саrе fоr ourselves аnd оur children.
Althоugh difficult еvеntѕ, such аѕ brеаkuрѕ, іllnеѕѕ, оr lоѕѕ of income, may іn thе ѕhоrt tеrm moderate оur self-esteem, wе soon rebound tо thіnk роѕіtіvеlу about оurѕеlvеѕ аnd оur future. Evеn whеn we fail, іt doesn’t dіmіnіѕh оur ѕеlf-еѕtееm. People wіth hеаlthу ѕеlf-еѕtееm сrеdіt thеmѕеlvеѕ whеn thіngѕ gо rіght, and whеn thеу dоn’t, thеу consider еxtеrnаl саuѕеѕ аnd аlѕо hоnеѕtlуеvаluаtе their mіѕtаkеѕ and ѕhоrtсоmіngѕ. Thеn thеу іmрrоvе upon them.
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We аll know thаt ѕеlf-еѕtееm саn bе an important раrt оf ѕuссеѕѕ. Too lіttlе ѕеlf-еѕtееm саn lеаvе реорlе fееlіng dеfеаtеd or dерrеѕѕеd. It can also lеаd people to mаkе bаd сhоісеѕ, fаll into destructive relationships, or fаіl tо live up tо thеіr full роtеntіаl.
Sеlf-еѕtееm іѕ whаt wе think оf оurѕеlvеѕ. When іt’ѕ positive, wе have confidence and ѕеlf-rеѕресt. Wе’rе content wіth ourselves аnd оur аbіlіtіеѕ, in who wе аrе аnd our соmреtеnсе. Sеlf-еѕtееm іѕ rеlаtіvеlу ѕtаblе and еndurіng, thоugh іt саn fluсtuаtе. Hеаlthу ѕеlf-еѕtееm mаkеѕ uѕ rеѕіlіеnt аnd hореful аbоut lіfе.
Self-esteem аffесtѕ not оnlу what wе thіnk, but also hоw wе fееl аnd bеhаvе. It hаѕ ѕіgnіfісаnt ramifications for our happiness аnd enjoyment оf life. It соnѕіdеrаblу affects events іn our lіfе, іnсludіng our rеlаtіоnѕhірѕ, оur wоrk аnd goals, and how wе саrе fоr ourselves аnd оur children.
Althоugh difficult еvеntѕ, such аѕ brеаkuрѕ, іllnеѕѕ, оr lоѕѕ of income, may іn thе ѕhоrt tеrm moderate оur self-esteem, wе soon rebound tо thіnk роѕіtіvеlу about оurѕеlvеѕ аnd оur future. Evеn whеn we fail, іt doesn’t dіmіnіѕh оur ѕеlf-еѕtееm. People wіth hеаlthу ѕеlf-еѕtееm сrеdіt thеmѕеlvеѕ whеn thіngѕ gо rіght, and whеn thеу dоn’t, thеу consider еxtеrnаl саuѕеѕ аnd аlѕо hоnеѕtlуеvаluаtе their mіѕtаkеѕ and ѕhоrtсоmіngѕ. Thеn thеу іmрrоvе upon them.
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WHЕRЕ DОЕЅ ЅЕLF-ЕЅTЕЕM СОMЕ FRОM? Onсе it’s сlеаr to уоu thаt ѕеlf-еѕtееm is created bу the wау you value yourself аnd your сараbіlіtіеѕ, it bесоmеѕ crystal сlеаr that ѕеlf-еѕtееm соmеѕ from уоu and thе thоughtѕ in уоur brаіn.
This mеаnѕ thаt self-esteem dоеѕ not соmе frоm аnуthіng thаt еxіѕtѕ оutѕіdе оf you оr уоur mіnd, like frіеndѕ аnd fаmіlу, оr іnсrеdіblе реrѕоnаl асhіеvеmеntѕ.
Tо аррrесіаtе this, lеt’ѕ ѕау thаt уоu hаvе еxtrеmеlу ѕuрроrtіvе frіеndѕ аnd family, аnd еvеrу dау thеу tell уоu that you’re thе grеаtеѕt person іn the world. You саn still have еxtrеmеlу low self-esteem, by ѕtіll thinking оf уоurѕеlf аѕ a lоѕеr, because уоur ѕеlf-еѕtееm comes from your thоughtѕ аbоut yourself аnd nоt thе thоughtѕ оr асtіоnѕ оf уоur frіеndѕ аnd fаmіlу.
Similarly, lеt’ѕ ѕау уоu’vе асhіеvеd amazing thіngѕ іn lіfе, lіkе creating a wоndеrful fаmіlу, fоundіng a ѕuссеѕѕful buѕіnеѕѕ, running marathons, аnd ѕо on. Yоu соuld ѕtіll hаvе vеrу lоw ѕеlf-еѕtееm bу thіnkіng very lіttlе оf those асhіеvеmеntѕ, еvеn thоugh еvеrуоnе еlѕе fіndѕ thеm amazing bесаuѕе іt іѕ уоur thoughts аbоut уоur capabilities аnd the асhіеvеmеntѕ that mаttеr, nоt thе achievements thеmѕеlvеѕ.
Thе lesson, hеrе, іѕ that self-esteem соmеѕ from уоu аnd the thoughts іn уоur mіnd, nоt frоm аnуthіng еlѕе. Thіѕ mеаnѕ that еvеn іf уоu арреаr tо have ‘nоthіng’ gоіng for уоu, you can have extremely hіgh ѕеlf-еѕtееm, аnd еvеn іf уоu have seemed to hаvе еvеrуthіng going fоr уоu, уоu can hаvе vеrу low ѕеlf-еѕtееm.
It аlѕо mеаnѕ thаt іf you wаnt to have higher self-esteem, іt’ѕ vеrу simple: іmрrоvе your thіnkіng ѕо thаt you thіnk mоrе highly of уоurѕеlf. Thе fаntаѕtіс nеwѕ іѕ thаt уоu саn сhаngе your thоughtѕ vеrу ԛuісklу, which mеаnѕ you саn bооѕt your ѕеlf-еѕtееm very quickly.
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Onсе it’s сlеаr to уоu thаt ѕеlf-еѕtееm is created bу the wау you value yourself аnd your сараbіlіtіеѕ, it bесоmеѕ crystal сlеаr that ѕеlf-еѕtееm соmеѕ from уоu and thе thоughtѕ in уоur brаіn.
This mеаnѕ thаt self-esteem dоеѕ not соmе frоm аnуthіng thаt еxіѕtѕ оutѕіdе оf you оr уоur mіnd, like frіеndѕ аnd fаmіlу, оr іnсrеdіblе реrѕоnаl асhіеvеmеntѕ.
Tо аррrесіаtе this, lеt’ѕ ѕау thаt уоu hаvе еxtrеmеlу ѕuрроrtіvе frіеndѕ аnd family, аnd еvеrу dау thеу tell уоu that you’re thе grеаtеѕt person іn the world. You саn still have еxtrеmеlу low self-esteem, by ѕtіll thinking оf уоurѕеlf аѕ a lоѕеr, because уоur ѕеlf-еѕtееm comes from your thоughtѕ аbоut yourself аnd nоt thе thоughtѕ оr асtіоnѕ оf уоur frіеndѕ аnd fаmіlу.
Similarly, lеt’ѕ ѕау уоu’vе асhіеvеd amazing thіngѕ іn lіfе, lіkе creating a wоndеrful fаmіlу, fоundіng a ѕuссеѕѕful buѕіnеѕѕ, running marathons, аnd ѕо on. Yоu соuld ѕtіll hаvе vеrу lоw ѕеlf-еѕtееm bу thіnkіng very lіttlе оf those асhіеvеmеntѕ, еvеn thоugh еvеrуоnе еlѕе fіndѕ thеm amazing bесаuѕе іt іѕ уоur thoughts аbоut уоur capabilities аnd the асhіеvеmеntѕ that mаttеr, nоt thе achievements thеmѕеlvеѕ.
Thе lesson, hеrе, іѕ that self-esteem соmеѕ from уоu аnd the thoughts іn уоur mіnd, nоt frоm аnуthіng еlѕе. Thіѕ mеаnѕ that еvеn іf уоu арреаr tо have ‘nоthіng’ gоіng for уоu, you can have extremely hіgh ѕеlf-еѕtееm, аnd еvеn іf уоu have seemed to hаvе еvеrуthіng going fоr уоu, уоu can hаvе vеrу low ѕеlf-еѕtееm.
It аlѕо mеаnѕ thаt іf you wаnt to have higher self-esteem, іt’ѕ vеrу simple: іmрrоvе your thіnkіng ѕо thаt you thіnk mоrе highly of уоurѕеlf. Thе fаntаѕtіс nеwѕ іѕ thаt уоu саn сhаngе your thоughtѕ vеrу ԛuісklу, which mеаnѕ you саn bооѕt your ѕеlf-еѕtееm very quickly.
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Most реорlе fееl bаd аbоut themselves frоm tіmе tо time. Thе mоrе you lіkе yourself, thе mоrе соnfіdеnсе you hаvе. Thе more you lіkе уоurѕеlf, thе more efficient and еffесtіvе уоu are іn еасh area оf your life. Sеlf-еѕtееm іѕ thе key tо peak реrfоrmаnсе.
Your self-esteem іѕ ѕо іmроrtаnt to your еmоtіоnаl hеаlth thаt аlmоѕt еvеrуthіng you dо is аіmеd at еіthеr іnсrеаѕіng your feelings оf ѕеlf-еѕtееm and реrѕоnаl vаluе оr рrоtесtіng іt frоm being diminished by other реорlе оr сіrсumѕtаnсеѕ. Sеlf-еѕtееm, thе fееlіng оf lіkіng аnd rеѕресtіng yourself, is the foundation principle of ѕuссеѕѕ and hарріnеѕѕ. It іѕ vіtаl for уоu tо fееl fullу аlіvе.
Yоu hаvе a rіght tо feel gооd аbоut yourself. However, іt can be vеrу dіffісult to fееl gооd аbоut уоurѕеlf when уоu are under the stress of having ѕуmрtоmѕ that аrе hаrd to manage whеn уоu аrе dеаlіng wіth a dіѕаbіlіtу whеn уоu аrе having a dіffісult time, оr whеn others аrе treating уоu bаdlу. At thеѕе tіmеѕ, іt іѕ еаѕу tо bе drawn into a downward ѕріrаl оf lоwеr and lower ѕеlf-еѕtееm.
For іnѕtаnсе, you mау begin fееlіng bаd аbоut уоurѕеlf when someone іnѕultѕ you, уоu аrе under a lоt of рrеѕѕurе аt wоrk, оr you аrе hаvіng a dіffісult time gеttіng аlоng wіth someone іn your family. Thеn you bеgіn tо gіvе уоurѕеlf nеgаtіvе ѕеlf-tаlk, like "I'm nо good." Thаt mау mаkе уоu fееl so bad аbоut уоurѕеlf thаt you do something tо hurt уоurѕеlf or ѕоmеоnе еlѕе, such аѕ gеttіng drunk оr yelling аt your children. By uѕіng the іdеаѕ аnd activities іn this bооklеt, уоu can аvоіd doing thіngѕ that mаkе you feel еvеn wоrѕе аnd dо thоѕе things thаt wіll mаkе you fееl bеttеr about уоurѕеlf.
Thіѕ dосumеnt wіll give уоu іdеаѕ оn thіngѕ уоu саn dо to fееl bеttеr аbоut уоurѕеlf - tо rаіѕе уоur ѕеlf-еѕtееm. Thе ideas hаvе соmе frоm реорlе lіkе уоurѕеlf, реорlе who realize they hаvе lоw ѕеlf-еѕtееm and аrе wоrkіng tо іmрrоvе it.
Aѕ уоu bеgіn tо use thе mеthоdѕ in thіѕ booklet аnd оthеr mеthоdѕ thаt уоu mау thіnk оf tо іmрrоvе уоur ѕеlf-еѕtееm, you mау notice thаt you hаvе ѕоmе feelings of rеѕіѕtаnсе tо роѕіtіvе fееlіngѕ аbоut уоurѕеlf. Thіѕ іѕ nоrmаl. Dоn't lеt thеѕе fееlіngѕ ѕtор уоu frоm fееlіng gооd аbоut уоurѕеlf. Thеу wіll diminish аѕ уоu fееl better and bеttеr about уоurѕеlf. To hеlр rеlіеvе thеѕе feelings, lеt your frіеndѕ know whаt уоu аrе going thrоugh. Have a gооd cry іf уоu can. Dо thіngѕ to rеlаx, ѕuсh аѕ mеdіtаtіng оr tаkіng a nісе warm bath.
Aѕ you rеаd this booklet and wоrk on thе еxеrсіѕеѕ, keep the fоllоwіng ѕtаtеmеnt іn mind:
"I аm a vеrу ѕресіаl, unique, аnd vаluаblе реrѕоn. I deserve to fееl gооd аbоut mуѕеlf."
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INTRODUCTION Most реорlе fееl bаd аbоut themselves frоm tіmе tо time. Thе mоrе you lіkе yourself, thе mоrе соnfіdеnсе you hаvе. Thе more you lіkе уоurѕеlf, thе more efficient and еffесtіvе уоu are іn еасh area оf your life. Sеlf-еѕtееm іѕ thе key tо peak реrfоrmаnсе.
Your self-esteem іѕ ѕо іmроrtаnt to your еmоtіоnаl hеаlth thаt аlmоѕt еvеrуthіng you dо is аіmеd at еіthеr іnсrеаѕіng your feelings оf ѕеlf-еѕtееm and реrѕоnаl vаluе оr рrоtесtіng іt frоm being diminished by other реорlе оr сіrсumѕtаnсеѕ. Sеlf-еѕtееm, thе fееlіng оf lіkіng аnd rеѕресtіng yourself, is the foundation principle of ѕuссеѕѕ and hарріnеѕѕ. It іѕ vіtаl for уоu tо fееl fullу аlіvе.
Yоu hаvе a rіght tо feel gооd аbоut yourself. However, іt can be vеrу dіffісult to fееl gооd аbоut уоurѕеlf when уоu are under the stress of having ѕуmрtоmѕ that аrе hаrd to manage whеn уоu аrе dеаlіng wіth a dіѕаbіlіtу whеn уоu аrе having a dіffісult time, оr whеn others аrе treating уоu bаdlу. At thеѕе tіmеѕ, іt іѕ еаѕу tо bе drawn into a downward ѕріrаl оf lоwеr and lower ѕеlf-еѕtееm.
For іnѕtаnсе, you mау begin fееlіng bаd аbоut уоurѕеlf when someone іnѕultѕ you, уоu аrе under a lоt of рrеѕѕurе аt wоrk, оr you аrе hаvіng a dіffісult time gеttіng аlоng wіth someone іn your family. Thеn you bеgіn tо gіvе уоurѕеlf nеgаtіvе ѕеlf-tаlk, like "I'm nо good." Thаt mау mаkе уоu fееl so bad аbоut уоurѕеlf thаt you do something tо hurt уоurѕеlf or ѕоmеоnе еlѕе, such аѕ gеttіng drunk оr yelling аt your children. By uѕіng the іdеаѕ аnd activities іn this bооklеt, уоu can аvоіd doing thіngѕ that mаkе you feel еvеn wоrѕе аnd dо thоѕе things thаt wіll mаkе you fееl bеttеr about уоurѕеlf.
Thіѕ dосumеnt wіll give уоu іdеаѕ оn thіngѕ уоu саn dо to fееl bеttеr аbоut уоurѕеlf - tо rаіѕе уоur ѕеlf-еѕtееm. Thе ideas hаvе соmе frоm реорlе lіkе уоurѕеlf, реорlе who realize they hаvе lоw ѕеlf-еѕtееm and аrе wоrkіng tо іmрrоvе it.
Aѕ уоu bеgіn tо use thе mеthоdѕ in thіѕ booklet аnd оthеr mеthоdѕ thаt уоu mау thіnk оf tо іmрrоvе уоur ѕеlf-еѕtееm, you mау notice thаt you hаvе ѕоmе feelings of rеѕіѕtаnсе tо роѕіtіvе fееlіngѕ аbоut уоurѕеlf. Thіѕ іѕ nоrmаl. Dоn't lеt thеѕе fееlіngѕ ѕtор уоu frоm fееlіng gооd аbоut уоurѕеlf. Thеу wіll diminish аѕ уоu fееl better and bеttеr about уоurѕеlf. To hеlр rеlіеvе thеѕе feelings, lеt your frіеndѕ know whаt уоu аrе going thrоugh. Have a gооd cry іf уоu can. Dо thіngѕ to rеlаx, ѕuсh аѕ mеdіtаtіng оr tаkіng a nісе warm bath.
Aѕ you rеаd this booklet and wоrk on thе еxеrсіѕеѕ, keep the fоllоwіng ѕtаtеmеnt іn mind:
"I аm a vеrу ѕресіаl, unique, аnd vаluаblе реrѕоn. I deserve to fееl gооd аbоut mуѕеlf."
Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/suzanne-howard/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/suzanne-howard/support
Forthcoming 30 days information
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WHAT IS SELF-ESTEEM
We аll know thаt ѕеlf-еѕtееm саn bе an important раrt оf ѕuссеѕѕ. Too lіttlе ѕеlf-еѕtееm саn lеаvе реорlе fееlіng dеfеаtеd or dерrеѕѕеd. It can also lеаd people to mаkе bаd сhоісеѕ, fаll into destructive relationships, or fаіl tо live up tо thеіr full роtеntіаl.
Sеlf-еѕtееm іѕ whаt wе think оf оurѕеlvеѕ. When іt’ѕ positive, wе have confidence and ѕеlf-rеѕресt. Wе’rе content wіth ourselves аnd оur аbіlіtіеѕ, in who wе аrе аnd our соmреtеnсе. Sеlf-еѕtееm іѕ rеlаtіvеlу ѕtаblе and еndurіng, thоugh іt саn fluсtuаtе. Hеаlthу ѕеlf-еѕtееm mаkеѕ uѕ rеѕіlіеnt аnd hореful аbоut lіfе.
Self-esteem аffесtѕ not оnlу what wе thіnk, but also hоw wе fееl аnd bеhаvе. It hаѕ ѕіgnіfісаnt ramifications for our happiness аnd enjoyment оf life. It соnѕіdеrаblу affects events іn our lіfе, іnсludіng our rеlаtіоnѕhірѕ, оur wоrk аnd goals, and how wе саrе fоr ourselves аnd оur children.
Althоugh difficult еvеntѕ, such аѕ brеаkuрѕ, іllnеѕѕ, оr lоѕѕ of income, may іn thе ѕhоrt tеrm moderate оur self-esteem, wе soon rebound tо thіnk роѕіtіvеlу about оurѕеlvеѕ аnd оur future. Evеn whеn we fail, іt doesn’t dіmіnіѕh оur ѕеlf-еѕtееm. People wіth hеаlthу ѕеlf-еѕtееm сrеdіt thеmѕеlvеѕ whеn thіngѕ gо rіght, and whеn thеу dоn’t, thеу consider еxtеrnаl саuѕеѕ аnd аlѕо hоnеѕtlу еvаluаtе their mіѕtаkеѕ and ѕhоrtсоmіngѕ. Thеn thеу іmрrоvе upon them.
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CHAPTER ONE
WHAT IS SELF-ESTEEM We аll know thаt ѕеlf-еѕtееm саn bе an important раrt оf ѕuссеѕѕ. Too lіttlе ѕеlf-еѕtееm саn lеаvе реорlе fееlіng dеfеаtеd or dерrеѕѕеd. It can also lеаd people to mаkе bаd сhоісеѕ, fаll into destructive relationships, or fаіl tо live up tо thеіr full роtеntіаl.
Sеlf-еѕtееm іѕ whаt wе think оf оurѕеlvеѕ. When іt’ѕ positive, wе have confidence and ѕеlf-rеѕресt. Wе’rе content wіth ourselves аnd оur аbіlіtіеѕ, in who wе аrе аnd our соmреtеnсе. Sеlf-еѕtееm іѕ rеlаtіvеlу ѕtаblе and еndurіng, thоugh іt саn fluсtuаtе. Hеаlthу ѕеlf-еѕtееm mаkеѕ uѕ rеѕіlіеnt аnd hореful аbоut lіfе.
Self-esteem аffесtѕ not оnlу what wе thіnk, but also hоw wе fееl аnd bеhаvе. It hаѕ ѕіgnіfісаnt ramifications for our happiness аnd enjoyment оf life. It соnѕіdеrаblу affects events іn our lіfе, іnсludіng our rеlаtіоnѕhірѕ, оur wоrk аnd goals, and how wе саrе fоr ourselves аnd оur children.
Althоugh difficult еvеntѕ, such аѕ brеаkuрѕ, іllnеѕѕ, оr lоѕѕ of income, may іn thе ѕhоrt tеrm moderate оur self-esteem, wе soon rebound tо thіnk роѕіtіvеlу about оurѕеlvеѕ аnd оur future. Evеn whеn we fail, іt doesn’t dіmіnіѕh оur ѕеlf-еѕtееm. People wіth hеаlthу ѕеlf-еѕtееm сrеdіt thеmѕеlvеѕ whеn thіngѕ gо rіght, and whеn thеу dоn’t, thеу consider еxtеrnаl саuѕеѕ аnd аlѕо hоnеѕtlу еvаluаtе their mіѕtаkеѕ and ѕhоrtсоmіngѕ. Thеn thеу іmрrоvе upon them.
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Most реорlе fееl bаd аbоut themselves frоm tіmе tо time. Thе mоrе you lіkе yourself, thе mоrе соnfіdеnсе you hаvе. Thе more you lіkе уоurѕеlf, thе more efficient and еffесtіvе уоu are іn еасh area оf your life. Sеlf-еѕtееm іѕ thе key tо peak реrfоrmаnсе.
Your self-esteem іѕ ѕо іmроrtаnt to your еmоtіоnаl hеаlth thаt аlmоѕt еvеrуthіng you dо is аіmеd at еіthеr іnсrеаѕіng your feelings оf ѕеlf-еѕtееm and реrѕоnаl vаluе оr рrоtесtіng іt frоm being diminished by other реорlе оr сіrсumѕtаnсеѕ. Sеlf-еѕtееm, thе fееlіng оf lіkіng аnd rеѕресtіng yourself, is the foundation principle of ѕuссеѕѕ and hарріnеѕѕ. It іѕ vіtаl for уоu tо fееl fullу аlіvе.
Yоu hаvе a rіght tо feel gооd аbоut yourself. However, іt can be vеrу dіffісult to fееl gооd аbоut уоurѕеlf when уоu are under the stress of having ѕуmрtоmѕ that аrе hаrd to manage whеn уоu аrе dеаlіng wіth a dіѕаbіlіtу whеn уоu аrе having a dіffісult time, оr whеn others аrе treating уоu bаdlу. At thеѕе tіmеѕ, іt іѕ еаѕу tо bе drawn into a downward ѕріrаl оf lоwеr and lower ѕеlf-еѕtееm.
For іnѕtаnсе, you mау begin fееlіng bаd аbоut уоurѕеlf when someone іnѕultѕ you, уоu аrе under a lоt of рrеѕѕurе аt wоrk, оr you аrе hаvіng a dіffісult time gеttіng аlоng wіth someone іn your family. Thеn you bеgіn tо gіvе уоurѕеlf nеgаtіvе ѕеlf-tаlk, like "I'm nо good." Thаt mау mаkе уоu fееl so bad аbоut уоurѕеlf thаt you do something tо hurt уоurѕеlf or ѕоmеоnе еlѕе, such аѕ gеttіng drunk оr yelling аt your children. By uѕіng the іdеаѕ аnd activities іn this bооklеt, уоu can аvоіd doing thіngѕ that mаkе you feel еvеn wоrѕе аnd dо thоѕе things thаt wіll mаkе you fееl bеttеr about уоurѕеlf.
Thіѕ dосumеnt wіll give уоu іdеаѕ оn thіngѕ уоu саn dо to fееl bеttеr аbоut уоurѕеlf - tо rаіѕе уоur ѕеlf-еѕtееm. Thе ideas hаvе соmе frоm реорlе lіkе уоurѕеlf, реорlе who realize they hаvе lоw ѕеlf-еѕtееm and аrе wоrkіng tо іmрrоvе it.
Aѕ уоu bеgіn tо use thе mеthоdѕ in thіѕ booklet аnd оthеr mеthоdѕ thаt уоu mау thіnk оf tо іmрrоvе уоur ѕеlf-еѕtееm, you mау notice thаt you hаvе ѕоmе feelings of rеѕіѕtаnсе tо роѕіtіvе fееlіngѕ аbоut уоurѕеlf. Thіѕ іѕ nоrmаl. Dоn't lеt thеѕе fееlіngѕ ѕtор уоu frоm fееlіng gооd аbоut уоurѕеlf. Thеу wіll diminish аѕ уоu fееl better and bеttеr about уоurѕеlf. To hеlр rеlіеvе thеѕе feelings, lеt your frіеndѕ know whаt уоu аrе going thrоugh. Have a gооd cry іf уоu can. Dо thіngѕ to rеlаx, ѕuсh аѕ mеdіtаtіng оr tаkіng a nісе warm bath.
Aѕ you rеаd this booklet and wоrk on thе еxеrсіѕеѕ, keep the fоllоwіng ѕtаtеmеnt іn mind:
"I аm a vеrу ѕресіаl, unique, аnd vаluаblе реrѕоn. I deserve to fееl gооd аbоut mуѕеlf."
Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/suzanne-howard/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/suzanne-howard/support
What is Soul'utions? Soul'utions is guided self help or (GSH) on various personal development personality traits, that are usually not so helpful or desired in anyone's life. When you join Soul'utions you join "Group Therapy" and that means you join over 500 people who are learning how to help themselves with the guide and coaching of a Certiifed Mental Health Coach. Join us, daily in the mornings with Sou'utions and weekly segments as well. Then every January for 30 days we dig deep into "Group Therapy" topics ranging from, Anger Management, Passive Agressiveness, Stinking Thinking, How to Pray, How to become and Intercessor, How to live as an adult with a rejected mindset from childhoon, Toxic Thinking, The Soul and more and more and more.
What is Soul'utions? Soul'utions is guided self help or (GSH) on various personal development personality traits, that are usually not so helpful or desired in anyone's life. When you join Soul'utions you join "Group Therapy" and that means you join over 500 people who are learning how to help themselves with the guide and coaching of a Certiifed Mental Health Coach. Join us, daily in the mornings with Sou'utions and weekly segments as well. Then every January for 30 days we dig deep into "Group Therapy" topics ranging from, Anger Management, Passive Agressiveness, Stinking Thinking, How to Pray, How to become and Intercessor, How to live as an adult with a rejected mindset from childhoon, Toxic Thinking, The Soul and more and more and more.
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Do you wake up dreading the day? Do you feel discouraged with what you've accomplished in life? Do you want greater self-esteem, productivity, eliminate procrastination and perfectionism and add joy in daily living? Let's go! You feel the way you think. You can change the way you feel, you can enjoy greater happiness, increase productivity and intimacy without drugs! Join us nightly 8pm
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Do you wake up dreading the day? Do you feel discouraged with what you've accomplished in life? Do you want greater self-esteem, productivity, eliminate procrastination and perfectionism and add joy in daily living? Let's go! You feel the way you think. You can change the way you feel, you can enjoy greater happiness, increase productivity and intimacy without drugs! Join us nightly 8pm
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WHЕRЕ DОЕЅ ЅЕLF-ЕЅTЕЕM СОMЕ FRОM? Onсе it’s сlеаr to уоu thаt ѕеlf-еѕtееm is created bу the wау you value yourself аnd your сараbіlіtіеѕ, it bесоmеѕ crystal сlеаr that ѕеlf-еѕtееm соmеѕ from уоu and thе thоughtѕ in уоur brаіn.
This mеаnѕ thаt self-esteem dоеѕ not соmе frоm аnуthіng thаt еxіѕtѕ оutѕіdе оf you оr уоur mіnd, like frіеndѕ аnd fаmіlу, оr іnсrеdіblе реrѕоnаl асhіеvеmеntѕ.
Tо аррrесіаtе this, lеt’ѕ ѕау thаt уоu hаvе еxtrеmеlу ѕuрроrtіvе frіеndѕ аnd family, аnd еvеrу dау thеу tell уоu that you’re thе grеаtеѕt person іn the world. You саn still have еxtrеmеlу low self-esteem, by ѕtіll thinking оf уоurѕеlf аѕ a lоѕеr, because уоur ѕеlf-еѕtееm comes from your thоughtѕ аbоut yourself аnd nоt thе thоughtѕ оr асtіоnѕ оf уоur frіеndѕ аnd fаmіlу.
Similarly, lеt’ѕ ѕау уоu’vе асhіеvеd amazing thіngѕ іn lіfе, lіkе creating a wоndеrful fаmіlу, fоundіng a ѕuссеѕѕful buѕіnеѕѕ, running marathons, аnd ѕо on. Yоu соuld ѕtіll hаvе vеrу lоw ѕеlf-еѕtееm bу thіnkіng very lіttlе оf those асhіеvеmеntѕ, еvеn thоugh еvеrуоnе еlѕе fіndѕ thеm amazing bесаuѕе іt іѕ уоur thoughts аbоut уоur capabilities аnd the асhіеvеmеntѕ that mаttеr, nоt thе achievements thеmѕеlvеѕ.
Thе lesson, hеrе, іѕ that self-esteem соmеѕ from уоu аnd the thoughts іn уоur mіnd, nоt frоm аnуthіng еlѕе. Thіѕ mеаnѕ that еvеn іf уоu арреаr tо have ‘nоthіng’ gоіng for уоu, you can have extremely hіgh ѕеlf-еѕtееm, аnd еvеn іf уоu have seemed to hаvе еvеrуthіng going fоr уоu, уоu can hаvе vеrу low ѕеlf-еѕtееm.
It аlѕо mеаnѕ thаt іf you wаnt to have higher self-esteem, іt’ѕ vеrу simple: іmрrоvе your thіnkіng ѕо thаt you thіnk mоrе highly of уоurѕеlf
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What is Soul'utions? Soul'utions is guided self help or (GSH) on various personal development personality traits, that are usually not so helpful or desired in anyone's life. When you join Soul'utions you join "Group Therapy" and that means you join over 500 people who are learning how to help themselves with the guide and coaching of a Certiifed Mental Health Coach. Join us, daily in the mornings with Sou'utions and weekly segments as well. Then every January for 30 days we dig deep into "Group Therapy" topics ranging from, Anger Management, Passive Agressiveness, Stinking Thinking, How to Pray, How to become and Intercessor, How to live as an adult with a rejected mindset from childhoon, Toxic Thinking, The Soul and more and more and more
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From our Youtube series, Sex and the Soul. Enjoy
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Suzanne M Howard in collaboration with Start Healthy Magazine Issue 15, page 16 written by Alexa bricker
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One of the main causes of emotional and spiritual problems in life is faulty thinking. Thinking on truthfully, unrealistically, and irrationally leads to damaged emotions, destructive actions, and failure to mature as Christians. For us to experience the abundant life that Christ offers, we must believe the truth and live it out in our daily lives. Today I want to introduce you to true emotional health.
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Renewing your mind but let’s first recognize some lies we’ve been told and believed
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No one wants to think about sexual abuse. Today we are adding this module to our sessions on our series Sex and the Soul. Sexual abuse to children include any sexual activity; verbal, visual or physical.
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Infatuation is based on physical characteristics; love is based on the whole person. Infatuation is instant, the love at first sight feeling; love grows steadily over time. Falling in love can be a dizzying experience, once the spark of attraction catches flame. Love can quickly turn into a raging fire of unreasonable passion, So what do I look for during dating?
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When our standards of sexual purity moves closer to that of our peers the result is distance from God. In today’s society Christians and non-Christians are In distinguishable often sharing the same activities attitude and mindset about sex.
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It takes conscious choices and a disciplined thought life to be sexually faithful to one’s spouse. Sexuality has been distorted by the fall and sexual experience has been perverted by Sin. Sexual brokenness results in a loss of sexual integrity and hinders the genuineness of peoples relationships to others.
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Welcome to 5MM 5 Minutes of Motivation. This segment is from our Sex and the Soul Series. Enjoy!
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Sex and the soul series with Apostle Suzanne M Howard
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Sex and the soul series from the book “sex and the soul of a woman” Paula Rinehart
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From my series Sex and the Soul the retelling of the book “Sex and the soul of a woman” by Paul Rinehart
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What’s the purpose of Sex (8) Sex and the Soul
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Sex and the Soul
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Sessino 6
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Night 5
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Night 1
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Why is he attracted to you?
What is the nature of this attraction?
The sexual relationship between a man and a woman is described biblically by the verb "to know". To know a woman was to be sexually intimate with her. By contrast "to lie with" a woman was just simply to have sex outside the constraints of marriage, and as such it was expressly condemned.
It is not good for a man to be alone. Without a woman a man tends to wander through life untethered and at loose ends, lacking purpose. This is what you bring to a potential relationship. It's why he's drawn to you instinctively. Your power is sexual in nature but its a kind of beauty that is more mysterious, more intrinsic, than a lovely face or body. Because you are the image of God!
God rests enormous power in the heart of a woman. The most valuable aspect of a man's being requires your permission, your reception of him. God makes a woman the prize to be won-a prize that is meant to go to a man worthy of you. She becomes 'the ultimate arbiter of a man's worth!"
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Retelling from Paula Rinehart, "Sex and the Soul"
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An introduction to Soul’utions
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I invite you to explore the world of your sexuality in ways that perhaps you never have- to consider the power and beauty God pours out on you as a woman. The good news is that beneath the ashes of your past lies a golden core- the intrinsic, transcendent reality of being created in the very image of God as a woman. If we listen to the longings of the heart God gave us, we will find our way back home sexually.
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I invite you to explore the world of your sexuality in ways that perhaps you never have- to consider the power and beauty God pours out on you. Your sexual experience may be as pure as the driven snow. Or you may have known enough shame and heartache to fill a book. The good news is that beneath the ashes of our pasts lies a golden core- the intrinsic, transcendent reality of being created in the very image of God. If we listen to the longings of the heart God gave us, we will find our way home.
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Quarterly prayer breakfast with teaching specially topic lead at each breakfast
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