The Caroline Flanagan Podcast

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Have you made the switch to Legal Imposters with Caroline Flanagan? There are no further episodes planned for the Caroline Flanagan Podcast. Please head over to your favourite podcast player and subscribe to Legal Imposters to discover everything to support you to make Imposter Syndrome your strength. You can connect via iTunes here:

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Why do you need to change the way you think about career progression goals?

Many of You HAVE no career progression goals at all.
You’re floating along
You have no intention or direction
Maybe it hasn’t occurred to you that you should.
A lot of you have this idea that career progression is only about getting a promotion.
Some of you do have a career progression goal, but it’s not the right one.
You have a career progression goal, it’s the right one, but the way you’re chasing after that goal is going to make it unsustainable when you get there.

So you’re either

underestimating the IMPORTANCE of career progression and/or
you’re taking such a narrow a view of it, (I.e. that career progression = promotion) that you are missing out on the VALUE of other forms of career progression.

This means you are denying yourself the opportunity to create the results of:

Being in a better place in your career today than you were yesterday
Or at the end of this year than you were last year
And to have as your future goal: the ambition of being in a better place in your career at the end of 2023 than you are the beginning.

In this last episode of the Caroline Flanagan Podcast, we cover:

Why you should ALWAYS have a career progression goal.
Why it’s really important to make sure that your goal is the RIGHT goal.
How to choose the right goal by focusing on the 4 Pillars of Career Progression, the concept we teach in Imposter Syndrome Coaching.
What the 4 Pillars of Career Progression are and how to use them.

In my Imposter Syndrome Coaching programme, you do a Progression Audit to work out which of the 4 pillars needs the most immediate attention, and we spend 6 months progressing that pillar first. When you do the work to progress one pillar, this has a knock on effect of progressing the other pillars too.

You can get started RIGHT NOW with identifying your progression goal for the next 6 months. I’m giving you FREE ACCESS to the Progression Audit Form (the exact same one we use when you join in Imposter Syndrome Coaching) to everyone who joins my Waitlist. .

To access your audit now, join the Waitlist. Add your details there, and a link to the Progression Audit will be sent straight to your inbox.

And make a note! Enrolment for Imposter Syndrome Coaching opens on 6th December. So head over to the waitlist and get your Progression Audit. This is your opportunity to be ready for when doors open on enrolment.

This is the last episode of The Caroline Flanagan podcast and we’re excited to have recently introduced a brand new podcast, Legal Imposters, which is super tailored especially for lawyers with Imposter Syndrome. You can listen to it here, and head on over to LinkedIn to subscribe to the Imposter Syndrome in Law newsletter.

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This week we’re launching a brand new podcast exclusively for lawyers. Welcome to Legal Imposters! The podcast will have all the helpful Imposter Syndrome advice and information you have been used to if you have been following the Caroline Flanagan podcast over the last couple of years, but will be tailored to be even more specific to lawyers, going deeper and serving you better.

This introductory episode is to welcome fellow legal imposters into the fold, and to explain to you how the key to tackling your Imposter Syndrome lies in turning it into your strength and using it to your advantage in your career.

We bust the three Imposter Syndrome myths:

That it’s ‘just you’ and that everyone else is confident and capable.
That Imposter Syndrome is a problem that you need to fix.
That Imposter Syndrome is a sign of weakness.

And we explain how rather than ‘fixing’ your Imposter Syndrome, you need to change:

The way you think about your Imposter Syndrome.
The way you think about YOURSELF as a person with Imposter Syndrome.
The way you think about what it means to succeed in the legal industry.

We’ll explore all of this in detail over the coming episodes. But if you're a lawyer, you want more, your negative thoughts about belonging and deserving are holding you back, you’re ready to stop doing that, and you’re now ready to see what you’re capable of, you’re in the right place!

Welcome to Legal Imposters. We’re so excited you’re here.

SUBSCRIBE and tell ALL your fellow lawyers – everyone needs to know how to feel good about their Imposter Syndrome!

In Imposter Syndrome Coaching we follow a simple practical process for progressing your career when you have Imposter Syndrome. Enrolment for the next programme opens soon. Join the waitlist so that you’ll be the first to know!

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With all this talk of a cost of living crisis and recession, it’s tempting to hunker down and play it small.

But if you want to keep your career on track during difficult times you need to do the opposite.

It’s more important than ever that you take control of your career, by:

Being visible
Adding value, and
Building relationships.

I’m not here to scaremonger or to try to make you worried. But in turbulent times, when there are so many things in the world that are out of your control, one thing you can have power over is the direction and progression of your own career.

In this episode, I explain:

How to think about uncertainty so that you do not panic, or ignore coming change, and
What to do to bolster your career so that you are in a position of strength to weather the prospective storm.

The episode covers all you need to do to ‘double down’ on your career so that you make yourself the most visible, valuable and well-connected lawyer you can be. I explain how you should do this, even, and in fact, especially, when you suffer from Imposter Syndrome.

Because it’s your Imposter Syndrome that is holding you back.

It’s what stands between you and doubling down. And doubling down is how you make your career more resilient and ensure it’s sustainable in troubled times.

In Imposter Syndrome Coaching we follow a simple practical process for progressing your career when you have Imposter Syndrome. You get everything you need to double down and recession-proof your career. Enrolment for the next programme opens soon. Join the waitlist so that you’ll be the first to know!

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If you think progressing your career when you have Imposter Syndrome is all about the action, think again.

It's the emotions that drive your actions that count. Why?

Because emotion lies behind everything we do.
Because FEAR is the emotion behind your Imposter Syndrome, driving overworking, overthinking, playing small and self sabotage – which are the behaviours keeping you stuck and stopping you progressing the way you want or need to.
Because if you want to progress, you need to a) be AWARE of the emotions that don’t serve you and b) learn how to TURN ON those that do.

And the good news is, you only need to master 5 of them!

In this podcast episode, I describe the 5 emotions that you need to choose to feel, and then explain how to feel them consistently and intentionally, if you are going to progress your career.

NB - confidence is not on the list!

Tune in now to find out what these 5 emotions are. And If you're a lawyer with Imposter Syndrome seeking better balance, more recognition, more confidence or you just want to do your day job with a lot more ease, check out Imposter Syndrome Coaching for lawyers. Enrolment opens soon. Join the waitlist so that you’ll be the first to know!

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You can’t short cut your way to confidence.

Faking it ‘til you make it may help you out when you need a quick fix, but it is not a long term strategy for building confidence.

It’s often one of the ‘tricks’ you’re advised to use to help you ’overcome’ your Imposter Syndrome - a mindset tactic that encourages you to do something you’re terrified or reluctant to do. It works on the premise that if you ‘pretend’ to be able to do something often enough, or for long enough, you grow the capability to actually do it.

Sounds good, right?

The problem with faking it though is that your relationship with yourself doesn’t change. It gives you a mask to wear, it makes you well-practised - but you are still practising being someone you are not. The best way to ‘make it’ is by gaining confidence in who you really ARE.

In this episode, I cover all the downsides to the faking it approach and describe what you need to do instead. I explain how you need to put in the work to discover who you really are, and learn to take action from a place of trusting that you are enough.

This is the method I teach in Imposter Syndrome Coaching. Enrolment for the next coaching programme is coming soon. Make sure you’re on the waitlist so that you’re the first to. know.

We’re also excited to be launching a new podcast on 1 November - ‘Lawyers with Imposter Syndrome’. It will have lots of client case studies, interviews, and will revisit key issues about Imposter Syndrome in the Legal industry. It will also support you through Imposter Syndrome Coaching.

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I had lots of questions about Imposter Syndrome Coaching at the end of the Masterclass on Monday. Here are the answers I delivered live for you on LinkedIn and Facebook earlier this week.

The deadline for applications to ISC for lawyers is Monday 3rd. If you're a lawyer and you think Imposter Syndrome may be holding you back in your career, this programme is for YOU. For details on how to apply, head to carolineflanagan.com/imposter-syndrome-coaching.

Remember, doors close at midnight on Monday 3rd October so don’t delay. Get your application over to me asap.

APPLY HERE:

P.S. If you still have unanswered questions, email me here or you can DM in all the usual places on social.

Can’t wait to see you in the program!

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Monday’s Masterclass really was a masterclass! I covered everything you need to know about progressing your career – from the 4 step simple process, to the skills and the tools you need to succeed.

If you were there, this episode will be a useful reminder of all the reasons why you should drop what you’re doing right now and rush to apply for Imposter Syndrome Coaching.

If you missed Monday’s class, today’s you’re lucky day. Listen, learn, then get yourself over to the application page asap.

Remember, doors close at midnight on Monday 3rd October so don’t delay. Get your application over to me asap.

APPLY HERE:

P.S. If you still have unanswered questions, email me here or you can DM in all the usual places on social.

Can’t wait to see you in the program!

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The doors to Imposter Syndrome Coaching for lawyers are now open!

Tune into this special announcement to find out everything you need to know to apply, including details of the money back guarantee.

Don’t delay! Doors close at midnight on Monday 3rd October so get your application into me asap.

If you still have unanswered questions, email me here or you can DM in all the usual places on social.

Can’t wait to see you in the program!

APPLY HERE:

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If you are given praise or positive feedback for your work, do you enthusiastically accept it?

Or do you find yourself attributing your success to someone or something else? Or perhaps keep your wins to yourself? Do you, in effect, refuse to take credit for your achievements?

When you have Imposter Syndrome, you feel compelled to avoid being exposed as the fraud you think you are. This means you indulge in Self-Sabotage, one of the 4 negative behaviours (or 4 Horsemen as I call them) that characterise Imposter Syndrome. Refusing to take credit for, or capitalise on, your successes, is a sure-fire way to sabotage or undermine your career progression.

In this week’s podcast episode, I show you how to look more compassionately and proactively at your achievements, and, something typically overlooked, the other ways in which you have made clear and measurable progress to date. What I talk about here will help you become more confident and level up the way you think about yourself.

The episode covers:

How to identify the circumstances where you are currently not taking credit for things that you should be.
The common mistakes you are making in dealing with success or praise.
The ways in which discounting your achievements is undermining your progress.
What you can say or do instead to take credit for your achievements and internalise your successes.

Having Imposter Syndrome means your brain will resist these changes. One of the biggest values of my Imposter Syndrome programme is that I coach you through this discomfort. Sign up to my FREE MASTERCLASS on MONDAY 26TH SEPTEMBER 18.00 PM UK “How to Progress Your Legal Career (when you struggle with Imposter Syndrome) to hear more.

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So you know you have Imposter Syndrome. You understand how it's holding you back in your career and you're clear about how you want to progress. But how will you know when you get there and who do you need to become along the way?

When coaching my clients on how to achieve their progression goals, I don't just set off in the vague hope of helping them get what they want. We get really clear on how you'll know when you get there and we always measure your progress. Because more important than achieving your goal is who you become along the way.

24 Sept 2022 - Pre-enrolment to Imposter Syndrome Coaching opens to WAITLIST
Join here:

26 Sept 2022 - FREE MASTERCLASS: How to Progress your Legal Career. Register here:

Enrolment to Imposter Syndrome Coaching for Lawyers is open Apply here:

Monday 3 Oct 2022 Midnight - Enrolment closes. Application deadline.

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It's easy to talk about wishing you could progress your career and the things that are holding you back, but have you thought about what you want that progress to look like? Feel like? And who you will be on the other side of that progress?

In this episode, I invite you to cast aside your thoughts about why you're not progressing, and take yourself to a place where you know what progression means to you and you start to believe that it's possible.

Referenced in this episode:
24 Sept 2022
- Pre-enrolment to Imposter Syndrome Coaching opens to WAITLIST
Join here:

26 Sept 2022
- FREE MASTERCLASS: How to Progress your Legal Career. Register here:

Enrolment to Imposter Syndrome Coaching for Lawyers is open
Apply here:

Monday 3 Oct 2022 Midnight UK
- Enrolment closes. Application deadline.

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So you think you have Imposter Syndrome. But why does it matter? Why should you care? Because it's holding you back, that's why. In this episode, I talk about the negative impact Imposter Syndrome can have on a career and how you know it is negatively impacting yours.

Referenced in this episode:
24 Sept 2022
- Pre-enrolment to Imposter Syndrome Coaching opens to WAITLIST
Join here:

26 Sept 2022
- FREE MASTERCLASS: How to Progress your Legal Career. Register here:

Enrolment to Imposter Syndrome Coaching for Lawyers is open
Apply here:

Monday 3 Oct 2022 Midnight UK
- Enrolment closes. Application deadline.

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Feeling like a fraud and that your success is down to luck are sure signs of Imposter Syndrome, but they are not the only ones. There are a whole bunch of Secret Signs nobody talks about, and you need to know what they are. In this episode I share exactly what they are and how you know they apply to you, and answer any questions you may have.

Referenced in this episode:
24 Sept 2022
- Pre-enrolment to Imposter Syndrome Coaching opens to

WAITLIST
Join here:

26 Sept 2022
- FREE MASTERCLASS: How to Progress your Legal Career. Register here:

Enrolment to Imposter Syndrome Coaching for Lawyers is open
Apply here:

Monday 3 Oct 2022 6PM UK
- Enrolment closes. Application deadline.

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Depending on which research you believe, 60-90% of us have experienced Imposter Syndrome at some time in our lives. But what exactly is Imposter Syndrome? And how do you know you have it? Tune in to find out.

Referenced in this episode:
24 Sept 2022
- Pre-enrolment to Imposter Syndrome Coaching opens to WAITLIST
Join here:

26 Sept 2022
- FREE MASTERCLASS: How to Progress your Legal Career. Register here:

Enrolment to Imposter Syndrome Coaching for Lawyers is open
Apply here:

Monday 3 Oct 2022 6PM UK
- Enrolment closes. Application deadline.

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Being visible is a core essential for career progression.

It’s how people get to know who you are
It’s how they get to experience your value
It’s how they learn to trust you enough to:
give you opportunities
recognise you
support you
promote you.

But when you have Imposter Syndrome, your fear of being exposed means that visibility is the last thing you want. You’ll go to great lengths to avoid it, by:

Turning down opportunities to showcase your value
Not going for a promotion
Avoiding networking events
Avoiding public speaking
Being intimidated by social media.

Perhaps you only do one or a couple of the above. But the problem is that any of these behaviours can hold you back and stop you from realising your true potential.

In this episode, I describe my own personal problem with Imposter Syndrome and visibility; raising my profile on social media.

I explain how, like me, you need to identify WHAT you should do to raise your visibility, and, more importantly, HOW you should do it. I share with you the results of an exercise I teach in Imposter Syndrome coaching which helps you to embrace negative emotion in order to do the things that will make you visible.

You don’t have to make this journey alone. I teach you the process for becoming more visible in Imposter Syndrome Coaching for Lawyers, and I coach you every step of the way. You also get the support of other members of the group who are on the same journey. With this level of support, your success is inevitable. Enrolment opens 12th September for 7 days only and places are limited. As a lawyer with Imposter Syndrome, you have to check out this programme. Get your name on the waitlist now, so you are the first to hear. I will be prioritising applications from people who are already on the Waitlist when enrolment opens.

https://carolineflanagan.com/imposter-syndrome-coaching/join-waitlist/

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There’s a fine line between Overworking and working hard to produce results. So how do you tell the difference?

The answer is the Goldilocks Gauge.

Overworking is all the work you do that is driven by fear. It takes up valuable time but adds little or no value. Such as:

Labouring over emails.
Excessively checking your work.
Prolonging tasks so you never finish your work, you only ever run out of time.

Overworking makes you inefficient and puts your career at risk. If you want to progress your career, you need to learn how to stop.

In this episode, I introduce you to ‘The Goldilocks Gauge’ - the unique tool you learn in Imposter Syndrome Coaching to help you understand what is the ‘just right’ amount of time to spend on your work. This is the efficiency sweet spot.

You’ll learn how to evaluate how long things will take, and a formula to work out how long tasks SHOULD be taking you so you can stop Overworking and focus only on the work that will produce the best results.

The better you get at stopping overworking, the more efficient you’ll be, the better balance you’ll have, and the more your career will progress.

To get started on stopping Overworking with The Goldilocks Gauge, join the next class of Imposter Syndrome Coaching. Enrolment for the next class is on September 12th 2022. Be the first to know by Signing up to the waitlist here.

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Stop Overthinking. Get out of your own head. When you have Imposter Syndrome, one of your biggest struggles is with Overthinking. If your Imposter Syndrome is triggered, the fear and anxiety send you spiralling into thought drama. By worrying, panicking and mentally preparing for the worst, your brain is trying to protect you from potential danger.

But when the perceived danger is a work challenge, all this Overthinking isn’t protective, it’s detrimental.

Being ‘in your own head’ means:

You’re not fully present in your environment.
You experience the world through the filter of your negative thoughts.

So you are:

Less  efficient (things take you longer).
Less effective (you’re less focused).
More hesitant, quieter, withdrawn (where you are making negative assumptions).

All of which stops you from progressing in your career.

In this podcast episode, I explain the importance of ‘getting out of your own head’.

We cover:

Why you need to be able to shift your attention away from your thoughts and direct it towards what is actually happening right in front of you.
When you need to be able to do it.
How to do it.
The Blink-of-an-eye Attention Redirection strategy I teach in Imposter Syndrome Coaching.
Obstacles to expect and how to overcome them.

When you’ve learned how to stop Overthinking you are more alert and focused and 100x more effective. You notice more. You think more clearly, solve problems more quickly. You’re free to be creative, more responsive. And you’ll be so much more in control.

Join Imposter Syndrome Coaching to learn the tool that will help you get out of your own head. Enrolment for the next class opens on 12th September 2022. Click here to find out more and join the waitlist.

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Coaching seems to be ubiquitous these days, but do you really understand what good coaching is, what sort of coaching to choose, how it works, or how it can help you progress your career?

It’s time to go back to basics.

In this podcast episode, I get to the bottom of the coaching conundrum, and give you all the information you need to make an informed decision about Imposter Syndrome Coaching.

I cover:

What coaching is: an explanation of the listening and questioning technique that helps you get from where you are now to where you want to be.
What coaching is not.
Who coaching is for.
How coaching works.
The best conditions for coaching.
The value of coaching: how is it worth the money?
What to look for in a coach.

I also explain how Imposter Syndrome Coaching ticks all these boxes in a unique coaching programme tailored just for lawyers with Imposter Syndrome.

Coaching will take you further than you can go by yourself. If you’d like to give it a try, the next class of Imposter Syndrome Coaching is coming soon. Click here to join the waitlist and find out more.

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Do you ever take time out to evaluate your own performance?

Many people struggle to honestly assess how they’re doing.

It takes effort; when you have Imposter Syndrome, looking for the things you have done wrong or could improve is a massive trigger.
It feels time consuming.
You don’t have a process; self-evaluation is not a skill that is usually taught.

But self-evaluation is one of the most important lessons you learn in Imposter Syndrome Coaching. It’s the process that ensures that every time you go through a growth cycle , you are progressing through the cycle (I.e. improving), instead of just going round in circles! Together with asking for feedback, it’s the part of the process which is going to most accelerate your progress towards your goal.

In this episode, I cover:

What to evaluate
How to evaluate

I explain how in Imposter Syndrome Coaching, we take a unique approach: Imposter Syndrome is not a problem you need to fix, it’s just the puzzle you need to solve.

And that is the puzzle of who you are.

When you know who you are, and you take action from “who you are” instead of who you’re not: you get access to all the resources you need to fulfil your potential.

You don’t succeed by doing. you succeed by being.
You don’t succeed because of a list of achievements, or what you’ve done, you succeed because of who you’ve become.

So in Imposter Syndrome Coaching, I teach you to evaluate your performance differently. It’s not about what you did, it’s all about who you were.

In this episode, I walk you through the step-by-step process to evaluate who you were when you performed each action, and explain how you can act on the results of your self evaluation to progress.

Who you are is your most valuable asset. Self evaluation is about holding yourself accountable to showing up as who you are. If you’d like to get started, book a free consultation with me.

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Are you curious about Imposter Syndrome Coaching? Do you wonder how it works? Or fear it might not work for you?

Coaching forms the backbone of ISC (my coaching programme for lawyers with Imposter Syndrome.)

In these special ‘client breakthrough’ podcast episodes, I’m sharing examples of client progression due to their coaching experiences. If you’ve never had coaching before, this is a brilliant way to gain some insight into the process. You’ll get to zoom in on real client scenarios and get a glimpse of the types of transformations you can achieve through my Imposter Syndrome Coaching programme.

In this client breakthrough session we’re covering: all or nothing thinking.

The scenario:

A corporate lawyer, returning from maternity leave, is anxiously looking for recognition and promotion, in the knowledge that one of the partners has been unsupportive of her ambitions.

In this episode, I walk you through the coaching process for this scenario:

Identifying the client’s progression goals (recognition and promotion).
Exploring the obstacles to her achieving those goals (her feelings of anxiety and stress about the partner’s hostility which triggers her Imposter Syndrome).
Examining the reasons behind those feelings (memories of past feedback causing negative ‘all or nothing’ thinking).
Helping her recognise and find a solution to rebalance her thinking and move forward.

This Imposter Syndrome Coaching process:

Shows you how your Imposter Brain works – driven by fear of exposure, it wants to avoid this at all costs.
Shows you how your Human Brain works – it likes to generalise (because it’s more efficient), causing you to stay stuck in your story and miss vital information you can use to move forward.
Reveals your blindspots – all the information you’re ignoring which tells a better, more useful story.
Gives you back your power by providing you with an opportunity to take action towards your goal.

If you’re a lawyer who is ready to tackle your own all or nothing thinking and to find out how Imposter Syndrome Coaching can help you too, book your free consultation with me by clicking here.

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Your Imposter Syndrome is the obstacle standing between you and the results you want in your career, but did you know that it is also the solution?

It sounds counterintuitive, but at its core, this is about choice; the choices you have when

your Imposter Syndrome is triggered:

The choices around what you make it mean, and
The choices over what to do next.

This is the philosophy I teach that supports step 4 of Imposter Syndrome Coaching: follow your Imposter Syndrome to your goal. Imposter Syndrome will get in your way, but don’t shy away from it; lean into it. Turn your weakness into a strength. Life is an arena and this is your playbook.

This episode covers:

What ‘Imposter Syndrome is the Way’ really means, including workplace examples.
Why you need to adopt this philosophy.
How to apply it in the workplace.
What to expect along the way.

Episode takeaways:

When you have Imposter Syndrome, you’re always going to trigger those feelings of anxiety and self-doubt on the path towards your goal.

The ‘Imposter Syndrome is the Way’ philosophy is your reminder that:

Your Imposter Syndrome is the signpost that points you straight in the direction of the result you want to create.
Your Imposter Syndrome being triggered is a sign you’re on the right path; and
Your Imposter Syndrome being triggered reveals the path of your growth and what will prepare you for the next level.

Listen to this podcast episode and you’ll walk away with a new lens through which to see and experience the world as a lawyer with Imposter Syndrome, in a way which is going to make it so much easier:

To do the things you want to do
To make decisions
To create results
To overcome adversity, and
To build better relationships

If you’re a lawyer with Imposter Syndrome and you’re ready to get serious about your career, book a free consultation with me to discuss how this could work for you.

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In this podcast:

What Growth Cycles are and why they’re important.
Why, as a lawyer with Imposter Syndrome, you need to understand how they work.
How to use Growth Cycles to create the career results you want.

In Imposter Syndrome Coaching, I guide you through a 4-step process to help you solve your Imposter Syndrome and progress your career. This is:

Normalise your Imposter Syndrome
Remember who you are
Trust you are enough
Follow Imposter Syndrome to your goal

Having a clear process is one thing. But staying on track and seeing that process through to the end is another. You’re likely to fall off track. You’re bound to experience setbacks. There are going to be failures along the way.

I created the concept of the Growth Cycle to help you prepare for when this happens and so you know exactly what you need to do to get back on track.

A Growth Cycle is a series of sequential stages you need to go through in order to progress. There are 3 stages in a Growth Cycle:

Fail
Fail again
Fail better.

You need to pass through all three stages in order to learn and grow, perhaps multiple times. Doing this will help you:

Measure your progress, so you stay motivated and keep failure in perspective
Understand the key role of failure in progress, and
Build the failure tolerance that will help you succeed at every stage of your career.

In Imposter Syndrome Coaching, Growth Cycles are part of step 4 of the coaching process: follow your Imposter Syndrome to your goal. You keep failing until you get there. And you will get there! If you’re a lawyer with Imposter Syndrome and you’re ready to get out of your own way, book your free consultation with me by clicking here

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Do you ever ask for feedback on your work, or do you wait for it to be offered or for your annual review?

When you have Imposter Syndrome, asking someone ‘how did I do?’ feels risky. When you feel like a fraud, that your success is down to luck and that you might be exposed, asking for feedback is one of the last things you want to do. Why would you risk drawing attention to yourself where someone might spot your mistakes? Ask for feedback and you risk confirming your worst fears.

But feedback is essential for progress.

When you do a piece of work, you need to know 3 things:

What went well
What didn’t, and
What to do differently next time.

Without this knowledge, you won’t be able to make adjustments to your work, adapt to new situations, build resilience, or improve your performance - all of which you need to do to progress your career.

In this episode, I explain:

How your Imposter Syndrome stops you from asking for feedback
Why NOT asking for feedback is a problem for progressing your career
Why failure and feedback are fundamental parts of the growth cycle
8 recommendations for how to ask for feedback
How to solve your Imposter Syndrome so that you can ask for feedback more easily.

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The podcast episode this time is a recording of last week’s free Webinar, How to Progress Your Law Career (without fixing your Imposter Syndrome).

You’ve tried all the tips and tricks. Power-posing. Faking it 'til you make it. Telling yourself you deserve to be here and that your success isn't down to luck.

But none of them have worked. Not in a transformative way. They give you a boost, but the results never last. You always end up back here:

Overworking.
Overthinking.
Playing small.
Sabotaging your success.

You’re looking for a solution that will solve your Imposter Syndrome for good, so you can progress your career and get more of the recognition you deserve.

That solution is available to you now.

To stop Imposter Syndrome holding you back in your career, you must change the way you’re thinking about it. Imposter Syndrome isn't the problem you think it is. It’s just the puzzle of who you are. You don't need to fix it to progress your career. You just need to solve it.

In this episode, I explain how.

Here's what you'll learn:

Why your attempts to get rid of Imposter Syndrome aren’t working for you, and what you should do instead.
The 4 workplace behaviours which are holding you back and threatening to derail your career.
How to normalise your Imposter Syndrome using Imposter Syndrome Mapping and how to create your career progression road map.
How to process negative emotions like fear, doubt and anxiety without them holding you hostage.
What the Imposter Speech is, and how to use it as a process for knowing who you are and a tool for trusting you are enough, so you can follow your Imposter Syndrome all the way to achieving your goal.

This is the strategy I teach in Imposter Speech Coaching – a career progression coaching programme for lawyers with Imposter Syndrome. When you implement this strategy, you’ll have everything you need not only to progress your career to the next level, but to progress your career at every level. This means:

You'll be more productive and efficient, so you’ll perform at a higher level.
You’ll have the courage to be more visible, so people know you and see your value.
You’ll feel calmer and more in control, instead of constantly feeling anxious and overwhelmed.
You’ll showcase your value, without being afraid of being “that person”.
You’ll set better boundaries, so you avoid the risk of burning out.
You’ll seize more opportunities.
You’ll learn from negative feedback instead of making it about you.

There’s still time to apply for the next class of Imposter Syndrome Coaching starting in July 2022, but you need to hurry. Enrolment ends tomorrow – Friday 17th June, 2022 – at midnight (BST). CLICK HERE to go straight to the application form.

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Welcome to the Progression Series: 4 podcasts in which I challenge the myth that career progression is only about promotions and pay rises. I introduce you to the 4 pillars of career progression that provide the best motivation for solving your Imposter Syndrome and are the key to making your experience as a lawyer so much easier and more fulfilling.

In this episode:

The 4 Pillars of Career Progression

Progressing your career is about more than a new position, a new job title and the accompanying pay rise. These have their value. But unless they are accompanied by progression in other areas, their impact on your day-to-day experience and performance as a lawyer will be limited. You just find yourself facing the same challenges and problems you did before, only now at a level where the stakes are higher and you have less support.

How is this progress?

Real career progression goes deeper and it lasts SO much longer. It’s not just about your career. It’s about progressing who you are in a way that improves your day-to-day experience of life as a lawyer.

Enter the 4 Pillars of Career Progression.

The 4 pillars of Career Progression are the 4 principal areas of lawyer life that determine how happy and successful you are in your work. They are:

Recognition
Confidence
Balance
Ease

These pillars are an essential feature of career progression. It only counts as progress if one or more of these areas is in a more advanced state than it was previously. Specifically, if you achieve one or more of the following:

More recognition
More confidence
Better balance
More ease

You don’t have to advance all 4 pillars for it to count as career progression. But the more pillars you progress, the more impactful and sustainable your career progression is. In the last 3 episodes we looked at more recognition, better balance and more confidence. The pillar we are focusing on this week is more ease.

More Ease

No-one signs up to be a lawyer because they think it’s going to be easy. Getting into, practising, and progressing in the industry seems the very definition of hard work: the long hours, the extreme pressure, the intellectual challenges, the high expectations and the huge responsibility.

There's nothing easy about working in an industry that requires you to work this hard.

BUT having Imposter Syndrome, means the WAY you do that ‘Hard Work’ is harder than it needs to be.

When a high-pressure situation occurs, your Imposter Syndrome is triggered. Your resulting fear and anxiety make you:

Overthink
Overwork
Self-sabotage, and
Play small.

(These are the ‘4 Horsemen’, the work place behaviours you default to when your Imposter Syndrome is triggered.)

Behaving in these ways makes an already hard situation so much harder because you are literally getting in your own way. When you overwork, overthink, play small and sabotage yourself, how can you expect to progress?

In this episode, I explain:

Why more ease is one of the 4 pillars of career progression
The consequences for your career progression when you get in your own way
How to solve your Imposter Syndrome to overcome the behaviours that make your work harder
How to measure your progress towards working with more ease
The importance of who you become along the way.

Like the idea of working with more ease? In Imposter Syndrome Coaching you pick one of the 4 pillars of career progression as your main goal and we work through the 4-step process for solving your Imposter Syndrome to help you achieve it. Enrolment for the next class is open NOW. Join today, by clicking here.

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In this episode:

The 4 Pillars of Career Progression

How is this progress?

Real career progression goes deeper and it lasts SO much longer. It’s not just about your career. It’s about progressing who you are in a way that improves your day to day experience of life as a lawyer.

Enter the 4 Pillars of Career Progression.

The 4 pillars of Career Progression are the 4 principal areas of lawyer life that determine how happy and successful you are in your work. They are:

Recognition
Confidence
Balance
Fun

More recognition
More confidence
Better balance
More fun

You don’t have to advance all 4 pillars in order for it to count as career progression. But the more pillars you progress, the more impactful and sustainable your career progression is. In the last 2 episodes we looked at more recognition and better balance. The pillar we are focusing on this week is more confidence.

More Confidence.

When you think progressing your career is only about getting a promotion and a better job title, it’s natural to think about all the things you need to do to get promoted (growing your network, being more visible, showcasing your value, seizing opportunities etc.) and think your lack of confidence is a barrier to achieving it.

So instead of getting started on progressing your career, either you wait and hope for the magical day when you’ll suddenly feel more confident, or, you put off the idea of progressing your career altogether, believing that you will never be confident enough.

Here’s what we cover:

Confidence as one of the 4 pillars of career progression
What can happen to your career if you wait to feel more confident
The dangers of relying on external validation to build confidence
How confidence is built and how to measure your progress towards it
The importance of who you become along the way

In Imposter Syndrome Coaching you pick one of the 4 pillars of career progression as your main goal and we work through the 4-step process for solving your Imposter Syndrome to help you achieve it. Enrolment for the next class is coming soon. Don’t miss the announcement. Click here to join the waitlist now.

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In this episode:

The 4 Pillars of Career Progression

How is this progress?

Real career progression goes deeper and it lasts SO much longer. It’s not just about your career. It’s about progressing who you are in a way that impacts every aspect of your life as a lawyer – in a positive and powerful way.

Enter the 4 Pillars of Career Progression.

The 4 pillars of Career Progression are the 4 principal areas of lawyer life that determine how happy and successful you are in your work. They are:

Recognition
Confidence
Balance
Fun

More recognition
More confidence
Better balance
More fun

You don’t have to advance all 4 pillars in order for it to count as career progression. But the more pillars you progress, the more impactful and sustainable your career progression is. Over the next 4 weeks we’ll be taking a close look at each of the 4 pillars.

This week’s focus: More Recognition

Being recognised for your work and the value you bring is an essential part of career progression, and you probably believe that this recognition can only come externally from a promotion and a shiny new job title. But if you are focusing exclusively on promotion for validation, you miss all the other forms of recognition you are currently getting – not to mention the opportunity to recognise yourself.

If you see progression solely as a leap up to the next level, you miss the opportunities to internalise your achievements and progress along the way – which means you don’t grow as a person or properly prepare yourself for what will be expected of you and who you will need to be at that next level.

Imagine you are fixated on going for partnership but don’t get it. If you see that as a failure to get the recognition you crave, you are not taking into account all of your wins along the way: the times you stepped up to the challenge, the times you received positive feedback from clients, the occasions when a partner gave you more client-facing opportunities and responsibility.

Racing to be GIVEN recognition (like a promotion) means you don’t take the time or energy to develop the capacity to recognise yourself for all your incremental achievements. If you fail to get a promotion, you see it as a rejection by your boss, or your firm. If you achieve the promotion, you’ve hung your sense of achievement on what was in someone else’s control to give to you, rather than on all the steps YOU took and the progress YOU made along the way. This means you will always need recognition from others to feel valued.

In this episode, I explain why having a strategy for progression that also builds your capacity to recognise yourself is so important. Recognition needs to come from YOU too, not just from other people.

Progressing your career isn’t about the promotion. It’s about progressing who you are in a way that impacts every aspect of your life as a lawyer.

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In this episode:

The 4 Pillars of Career Progression
Progressing your career is about more than a new position, a new job title and the accompanying pay rise. These have their value. But unless they are accompanied by progression in other areas, their impact on your day to day experience and performance as a lawyer will be limited. You just find yourself facing the same challenges and problems you did before, only now at a level where the stakes are higher and you have less support.

How is this progress?

Enter the 4 Pillars of Career Progression.

The 4 pillars of Career Progression are the 4 principal areas of lawyer life that determine how happy and successful you are in your work. They are:

Recognition
Confidence
Balance
Fun

More recognition
More confidence
Better balance
More fun

You don’t have to advance all 4 pillars in order for it to count as career progression. But the more pillars you progress, the more impactful and sustainable your career progression is. Over the next 4 weeks we’ll be taking a close look at each of the 4 pillars.

This week’s focus: Better Balance.

When you have Imposter Syndrome, thinking of career progression only in promotion terms can put you off the idea of progression altogether. You consider the heavier workload and the increased level of responsibility. You consider that you’re someone who already overworks and struggles with work life balance. So you decide you don’t want to be a partner, for example, because that will only make things worse.

So, you pass up opportunities for progression thinking that to do otherwise would give you worse balance.

But the opposite is true.

When you don’t progress your career, your career plateaus and your way of working does not evolve. You keep working the way you always have – overworking, overthinking, playing small and self-sabotaging. There’s no incentive to change these unhealthy work habits if all you’re doing is staying where you are.

When you commit to progressing your career this changes. It forces you to take a long hard look at your Imposter Syndrome and to recognise that the way you’ve been trying to manage it all these years is what is holding you back. And this is what motivates you to change.

One of the unhealthy work habits you’ll be motivated to change is overworking. All that quadruple checking your work, trying to make everything perfect, refusing to delegate… as you start to tackle these behaviours something magical will happen. You’ll become more efficient and productive. For example, you’ll:

Start setting boundaries (especially with yourself)
Stop labouring over emails and constantly rechecking your work
Delegate more and ask for help.

What all of this adds up to is less time wasted on work that doesn’t add value. Which means less unproductive work, less stress and ultimately, therefore, better balance.

Progressing your career isn’t about the promotion. It’s about progressing yourself.

Discussed in this episode:

How you get there is how you stay there
The value of progress
Measuring your progress towards better balance

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Being a lawyer is hard, right?

This is the received wisdom about the law profession.

It’s hard to get into
There are high expectations and exacting standards when you get there
It means long hours, late nights and is intellectually challenging
There’s intense competition for promotion
There’s extreme pressure where the consequences of making a mistake are huge.

Being a lawyer is nothing like the glamorous portrayal you see in the media and movies. If you’ve ever felt disappointed with the reality of your daily experience of work, it may be comforting to know you’re not the only one.

Being a lawyer has its challenges, you know that. But what you may not know is how a deeply ingrained belief that lawyering is hard exacerbates the challenges you experience every day.

In this episode, I explain how you can change that experience, and ‘make lawyering easier’. This requires:

A willingness to question and examine the “accepted truth” of lawyering being hard
An understanding of how seemingly innocent statements, cliches and stereotypes about lawyering being hard reinforce that “truth”
Recognising that “making lawyering easier” is within your control
Adopting a new belief about being a lawyer, that invites the possibility of ease into your real-life experience of being a lawyer
Seeing possibility as the key.

I’m not trying to convince you that being a lawyer is easy. It isn’t! I want to show you that there is a way to make it easier and to help you understand the impact of your thoughts on your results.

I explain how changing your thoughts from ‘lawyering is hard’ to, ‘I can make this easier’, will make you feel empowered, in control, proactive, creative and motivated and drive you to actions that will make lawyering easier. For example, actions like:

Honing your craft: the better you are at something, the easier it is to do
Growing your network: the more people you know, the more help you have access to and the more opportunities you’ll attract, which will make getting the support you need easier
Speaking up in meetings: the more you speak up, the more you’ll show your value. The more you show your value, the easier it will be to attract the right work
Learning to stay calm: the better you are at staying calm (despite the urgency and panic all around you), the easier it is to stay focused, be efficient and get the job done.

All the above are examples of what you need to do to progress your career. What it takes to progress your career and what it takes to make lawyering easier are the same - this is no coincidence. When you progress your career, you also progress who you are. The more YOU progress as a person (develop skills and experience, push through discomfort), the better equipped you are to cope with what being a lawyer throws your way.

When you join Imposter Syndrome Coaching you get the strategy and a process for solving your Imposter Syndrome so you can progress your career. I walk you through every step.

Enrolment for the July 2022 class is coming, 10 - 17 June. Sign up to the wait list here.

There is a Free Webinar on 10 June : How to Progress Your Law Career (without fixing your Imposter Syndrome) which is a great introduction to this work - sign up here.

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As a lawyer with Imposter Syndrome, the idea of feeling calm at work might seem like sheer fantasy.

When you feel like a fraud, that your success is down to luck and that you might be exposed at any time, you are often stressed, overwhelmed and anxious at work. When your Imposter Syndrome is triggered, your reaction is to panic, and to spiral into self-doubt and confusion. The total opposite of calm!

But the ability to stay calm is a vital skill. Especially when you have Imposter Syndrome.

It’s how you do your best work.
It’s how you look after your mental and physical health.
It’s one of the key bits of value you can bring to your clients and colleagues.

The better you are at keeping calm, no matter what is going on around you (and especially when your Imposter Syndrome has been triggered), the more you will progress as a person. And the more you progress as a person, the more your career also progresses.

In this episode, I describe the meaning and value of calm. I explain that calm is not just the ‘absence of’ strong negative emotions - but also the creating of space for something new - like putting your car in neutral to prepare for the next move. It’s how you neutralise unhelpful feelings, reset, and work from a place of stability and safety. I explain that however high-pressure and stressful your work environment may be, it’s your responsibility to create that calm within yourself.

I walk you through this calming process, so that you:

Develop self-awareness to recognise when you are not calm and understand how a calm version of you would react differently.
Know and anticipate your Imposter Syndrome triggers.
Allow the negative emotions to pass through without acting on them.
Using the Imposter Speech tool, remember who you are and trust that you are enough.

When you do this, you can:

Respond to a client’s questioning or doubting, from a place of calm rather than defensiveness or fear.
Have much easier access to your other internal resources because you’ve cleared the way by letting go of anger and frustration.
Think more clearly about an issue, problem-solve at a higher level, and come up with more and better ideas.

In Imposter Speech Coaching one of the results you’ll get is the ability to stay calm when all around you are losing their heads! Valuable for you, valuable for your employer and valuable for your client.

Enrolment is opening 10th June. Make sure you’re on the waitlist to sign up.

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How do you know when your Imposter Syndrome is being triggered?

Perhaps you experience the classic Imposter Syndrome feelings - that you are a fraud, that your success is down to luck, or that you might be exposed at any time?

Or perhaps you get carried away by one of the Four Horseman - overthinking, overworking, playing small, and self-sabotage?

Whichever way Imposter Syndrome triggers affect you, when you work in a high-pressure, competitive environment like a law firm, it is likely to happen ALOT.

There are so many stressful situations you face, day in, day out which can trigger those familiar negative responses - fear, anger, resentment, frustration...

For example:

Receiving negative feedback.
Feeling excluded at a networking event.
Being the only woman/person of colour in a meeting.
Being abandoned by a boss or partner to hold an important meeting or sign a deal.

No matter how many times these situations occur, you still feel shocked and upset when they happen, or you worry that something has gone terribly wrong. You wish you - or events, could be different.

In this episode, I walk you through one of these common triggers. I describe how your Imposter Syndrome makes you respond, and how these negative feelings adversely affect the quality of your work performance, your decision-making skills, your ability to problem-solve and think critically. I also explain that the problem with your Imposter Syndrome, is not that it gets triggered - but how you react when it does.

The key is to know your Imposter Syndrome triggers.

That means fully understanding the events or circumstances that trigger your Imposter Syndrome so you can anticipate it and recognise it when it happens and then remind yourself that nothing has gone wrong.

Knowing your Imposter Syndrome triggers means you’ll be ready for your negative feelings, instead of being ambushed by them. You’ll be able to calm your nervous system and neutralise the negative effect of your Imposter Syndrome.

Imposter Syndrome triggers are the first thing you’ll work on when you join Imposter Syndrome Coaching. You learn the 9 Imposter Syndrome triggers that can happen in the work place and identify those that most typically happen to you. I teach you a technique called Imposter Syndrome Mapping where you identify your core Imposter Syndrome triggers, understand how they work, and then you learn how to neutralise them. Add 17th June 2022 to your diary. The next enrolment for Imposter Syndrome Coaching opens on that day. Make sure you sign up to the Waitlist now, so that you get all the details in time.

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Confidence – if only we had been born with it!

But confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It isn’t innate. It’s earned.

Earned confidence is the confidence you get from doing hard things, uncomfortable things, things you are afraid of doing because you don’t know how to do them yet. When you think about how a toddler learns to walk, you accept that the only way he or she becomes a confident walker is to take a step then fall then get back up again; try and fail and try again and again until they figure it out. So why, when it comes to you – when you want to be confident at doing something – do you expect it to be the other way round? You want the confidence first before you take any action!

In this episode, I want to transform how you think about confidence so that instead of wishing you had the confidence to act, you take action first to earn the confidence later. Here’s what I cover:

The 3 things that walking and talking teach us about confidence, and how you are ignoring these principles every day.
Why you should treat confidence like you do your salary.
The compound effect of earned confidence.
Why you should be intentional about discomfort.

Mentioned in this episode:

Episode 4: Fail again, fail better
Episode 11: The Discomfort Zone
Episode 13: Courage as a Tool
Episode 33: The Gift of Negative Feedback

Enrolment for the July 2022 class of Imposter Speech coaching starts on 10 June. Don’t miss out. Sign up to the waitlist to register your interest.

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Do you avoid in-person networking events unless they are compulsory?

Or attend and only speak to people you know or people more junior than you?

When you have Imposter Syndrome, walking into a room of people you don’t know is triggering. If you feel like a fraud who is scared of being exposed, networking is the last thing you want to do.

And of course, it’s entirely possible to go through your career, not attending events or going to as few as possible.

It’s possible - but it’s a missed opportunity.

If you don’t attend in person networking events, you are missing the opportunity:

To raise your visibility. You need to raise your visibility so that people know who you are and what you can do. You need people to know who you are and what you can do, so that you get the recognition - and the promotion - you deserve.
To attract the support you need (a mentor or a sponsor) to help you progress your career.
To build your business. You need to build strong relationships with clients so that they want to work with you and you bring in more business for the firm.

So how do you do it?

In this episode, I talk you through 5 steps to help you walk into any room. These are:

Stop thinking your Imposter Syndrome is a problem.
Allow yourself to experience the negative emotions of anxiety and fear without letting them take the reins.
Remember who you are.
Trust that you are enough.
Build confidence, one failure at a time.

You can implement these steps on your own. But if you’re serious about solving your Imposter Syndrome so that networking becomes not just easy, but something you enjoy, then the answer is Imposter Speech Coaching, where you get:

Imposter Speech mapping - a practical technique for knowing your Imposter Syndrome triggers and stopping you seeing Imposter Syndrome as a problem.
The Imposter Speech - the discovery process, the tool and the evaluation process for remembering who you are and trusting you are enough.
Emotional management - the strategy for allowing your negative emotions without letting them take the reins.
The Confidence Formula - the process for building confidence one failure at a time.

This is about so much more than improving your networking skills so you can be more visible. Doing this work will give you the confidence to walk into any room, sit at any table, and speak to anyone. Not just now, but at every stage of your career.

Enrolment for the July 2022 class of Imposter Speech coaching starts on 10 June. Don’t miss out. Sign up to the waitlist to register your interest.

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You are outgoing in your personal life. But put you in a meeting at work and you barely say a word. You’re so quiet, you don’t recognise yourself

Not speaking up in meetings is a secret sign of Imposter Syndrome. It’s one of the ways in which you play small, and playing small is one of the 4 work behaviours that is harming your career.

It means that:

You’re not visible.
When you’re not visible, people don’t know you.
When people don’t know you, they can’t see your value.
When they can’t see your value, you don’t get the recognition and rewards you deserve.

Why, when you are confident and gregarious in your personal life, are you a different person at work?

Because of your Imposter Syndrome.

Your biggest fear is of being exposed as a fraud. Speaking up in meetings makes you visible. So it feels too dangerous to expose yourself in this way.

In your personal life, you’re surrounded by family and friends who know and love you. There is no risk of exposure. It feels safe to speak freely and be yourself.

At work, things are different. You can’t rely on those around you to make you feel safe. You have to create safety for yourself.

In this episode, I explain how to do this so that:

Speaking up doesn’t feel life threatening.
You can say something no-one agrees with.
You can say something everyone disagrees with.
Where getting it wrong doesn’t mean anything about you.
Where what you say and how you say it is not ‘proof’ that you don’t deserve to be here.

Stop waiting for confidence. Start speaking up in meetings, hesitantly, imperfectly. Be willing to do it again and again, until you become confident.

The way you do this is to know who you are, and trust you are enough. I teach you the practical process for doing this in Imposter Speech Coaching. You follow the 5 step Imposter Speech process to reveal who you are, then create your unique, 5 part Imposter Speech to use as a tool for trusting you are enough.

Enrolment for the July 2022 class of Imposter Speech Coaching is coming. Join the waitlist here.

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You may have heard of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, characters from the Old Testament book of Revelation who are sent by God to bring conquest, war, famine and death, signalling the end of the world.

This podcast is no religious study, of course! But the story is a perfect metaphor for impending doom and an apt description of the four work behaviours which, if left unchecked, could lead to your career stalling or even coming to an end.

These four behaviours are:

Overworking - when you waste time doing work which adds no value.

The signs:

Labouring over emails
Excessively checking your work
Not delegating
Not finishing tasks
Being a perfectionist.
Overthinking - when you waste time and compromise your performance with types of thinking that add no value.
The signs:
Worrying you are going to let people down
Procrastinating
Being scared of not knowing the answer.
Playing small - when you don’t get the recognition or opportunities you deserve because you‘re hiding and keeping your head down to avoid being seen or risking failure.

The signs:

Keeping quiet in meetings
Passing up opportunities
Not showcasing your value.
Self-sabotage - when you limit your potential by undermining yourself as soon as you start to make progress.
The signs:
Judging yourself
Discounting praise
Taking negative feedback personally instead of using it as a learning experience.

All of these behaviours are driven by fear, your brain’s response to the perceived threat (of being exposed) that you feel when you are a high achiever with Imposter Syndrome. And all of these behaviours add no value. They make you less efficient, and less productive.

You behave like this because your brain craves safety. Ironic, then, that it’s these behaviours that are making you less secure in your career.

The Four Horsemen represent the four ways you are galloping away from the fear brought on by your Imposter Syndrome. But every time you run away, you reinforce a negative circle of behaviour. Imposter Syndrome is who you are - so continually running from your Imposter Syndrome means you’re running from yourself!

But you can never outrun yourself.

In this episode, I explain how holding on to the Four Horsemen threatens to derail your career. I reveal that the way to STOP these behaviours is to solve your Imposter Syndrome. This means figuring out who you really are, and what is your unique value.

It’s time to say goodbye to the Four Horsemen and the limiting, negative effects they bring. Solve your Imposter Syndrome, and look forward to fulfilling your potential, getting the recognition you deserve, better balance, and more confidence.

Check out Imposter Speech Coaching, where I walk you step by step through the process of solving your Imposter Syndrome, taking action from a place of trust (instead of fear) and staying committed until you achieve your goal.

Enrolment for the July 2022 class opens on 1st June. Go to carolineflanagan.com/imposter-speech-coaching, and sign up to the waitlist to make sure you get the details.

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How do you make partner when you have Imposter Syndrome?

Going for a promotion puts pressure on anyone. The pressure to consistently present yourself in the best light, to keep delivering results, to achieve the recognition and pay you deserve. But when you have Imposter Syndrome and you already feel like a fraud, or not good enough, this pressure massively intensifies.

Going for a promotion is actually a TRIGGER for your Imposter Syndrome. Your usual coping mechanisms go into overdrive, so you:

Overwork with excessive preparation and checking
Overthink by wasting more of your time worrying
Play small by making yourself less visible, and
Self-sabotage by becoming even more self-critical.

But these coping strategies will not improve your chances of success. They deprive you of time to do work of real value, and they negatively affect your performance. When you overwork, overthink, play small and self- sabotage on your way to promotion, you are setting yourself up to do exactly the same when you GET the promotion.

How you get there is how you stay there.

Whatever you do now to earn your promotion is what your brain is going to tell you you need to do to stay there!
Because when you have Imposter Syndrome - your instinct (and what you will default to if your Imposter Syndrome remains unsolved) is to do everything you can to AVOID exposure. So, you will keep doing what you’ve always done.
With your current way of working, even if it brings you immediate success and you are promoted - you pay the price in the long run because you further ingrain the negative work practices that:

a) put you at risk of burnout
b) stop you from fulfilling your potential
c) don’t give you the recognition you deserve, and
d) make work less fun.

Instead, you need to be ready for your next level of success, which means being equipped to deal with it, being able to enjoy it, and stepping into being the next version of yourself.

In this episode, I explain how solving your Imposter Syndrome NOW, is the way to stop overworking, to stop overthinking, and to get that promotion you deserve.

When you solve your Imposter Syndrome, it means you trust that you’re enough. When you trust that you’re enough, every action you take, decision you make, and problem you solve, is delivered at a much higher level. Your partnership application will be stronger - and you will be better equipped and prepared for solving your Imposter Syndrome when it is triggered at the next level.

Today is the last day for enrolment in the May 2022 class of Imposter Speech Coaching.
You’re not too late to apply
6 months. Weekly coaching. £3000
Go to carolineflanagan.com/Imposter-speech-coaching to apply

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Do you put yourself forward for speaking events?

Seize opportunities to raise your profile (eg by working on high-stakes projects)?

Attend in-person work events?

Reach out to colleagues or partners you don’t know?

Share your accomplishments at work and on social media?

If the answer is no, then you’re not being visible enough at work.

Being visible is an essential career skill. If you want to attract opportunities, recognition, promotion, or a pay rise, it’s not going to happen if people don’t know who you are.

Keeping your head down and getting on with your work - however competent and efficient you may be - is not enough. When people don’t know who you are or what you can do, you’re overlooked, you feel excluded, and you may see less capable people being rewarded ahead of you.

When you have Imposter Syndrome, being visible doesn’t come naturally. When you feel like a fraud, you worry that making yourself more visible could lead to you being exposed, so you do nothing. And to compound the problem, working from home has made being visible more challenging than ever, adding that extra barrier of effort to making contact with others or showing up at in person events.

But the real problem is not your lack of confidence. Confidence isn’t the requirement for action, it’s the reward.

The real problem is not knowing who you are, and not trusting that you are enough. Because you don’t know who you are or trust that you’re enough, you don’t do the things you need to do to be visible. The result, of course, is that you’re not visible, you’re not known, and you don’t get the recognition and opportunities you deserve.

In this episode, I explain how to make yourself more visible when you have Imposter Syndrome, so that you will:

Stop wishing you were more confident, and
Start knowing who you are, trusting that you’re enough and then taking action from a place of trust instead of fear.

This work is deep and foundational. We’re not quick fixing here. We’re building confidence that lasts. And the good news is, you can get started now, by signing up for my FREE WEBINAR, 5 Vital Steps To Building Confidence That Lasts, Thursday 10th March, 9.30 GMT. CLICK HERE to register.

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Do you consume all the content and advice about Imposter Syndrome, but then never actually do anything?

Do you constantly talk about your Imposter Syndrome to friends, but never talk about the solution?

Are you always searching for that elusive magic fix for your own special brand of Imposter Syndrome, but never finding it?

Do you frequently tell yourself that you’re going to do something about your Imposter Syndrome, but then never actually commit to doing anything?

If this is you then join the club! We’ve all been there. You know what you want (real confidence that lasts) and you know how to get it (by solving the puzzle of your Imposter Syndrome). So what’s stopping you from getting stuck in?

Perhaps you have all sorts of sensible-sounding reasons. “It won’t work for me. It’s not the right time. I’m too busy at work. I’m different. Maybe my Imposter Syndrome is too bad to solve.”

But these really are just excuses. The problem is not that the solution to Imposter Syndrome won’t work for you, or that you don’t have the time. The problem is how you’re thinking about it. These negative thoughts make you feel powerless and unmotivated. They put imaginary obstacles in your way. If everything seems hopeless and too difficult from the get go, why even bother trying?

So you don’t ever get started. And because you don’t get started, nothing changes. Your Imposter Syndrome is still causing you the same problems this year as it did last year. It’s a vicious circle.

But what if instead of thinking, “it won’t work”, you just took that first little step? What if you did just, ‘get started'?

In this episode, I explain how getting started is the most important part of the process. By getting started, you’ve got skin in the game. You’re giving yourself a chance to get to the finish and achieve the results you want, with little wins and changes along the way motivating you to keep going. Imagine you want to run a 10k. If you don’t go out and train, the likelihood of you achieving your goal (or even turning up on race day!) Is small. Signing up for that first running club session, however, might just put you on the path to eventual 10k success.

I talk you through how to make that vital start and explain how to get started on the most important project of your life - solving your Imposter Syndrome.

P.S. Enrolment for Imposter Speech Coaching opens on 10th March, 2022. Sign up to the waiting list so that you don’t miss out.

P.P.S. To make sure our emails don’t end up in your Junk folder, add caroline@carolineflanagan.com to your mailing list today.

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Do you wonder why confidence, on the rare occasions you feel it, never lasts? Or why it comes in short bursts or feels fake?

That’s because you’re trying to solve your Imposter Syndrome with quick fixes that don’t get to the route of the problem; your lack of trust in who you are.

When something happens to trigger your Imposter Syndrome, you make it mean that you’re not enough: not experienced enough, not knowledgable enough, not assertive enough, not male enough...

And because you feel you’re not enough, you show up that way at work:

Overthinking - spending hours worrying about your performance, feeling that you are a fraud and that you are letting people down
Overworking - procrastinating, labouring over your work, excessively checking what you’ve done, and
Playing small - shying away from opportunities and not speaking up in meetings.

But the real problem isn’t you. Or that you’re not enough. The problem is a lack of trust. You don’t trust who you are. You don’t trust that you are enough.

Imagine a house with no foundations. It wouldn’t stand up for long! Your confidence is the same. Without the firm foundations of trust in yourself, your confidence won’t last.

In this episode, I explain that if you want to build confidence that lasts, you must trust that you’re enough, and make sure every action you take comes from this place of trust. Forget confidence as the objective. When you trust you are enough, your confidence takes care of itself. This is part of the step by step process I walk you through in Imposter Speech Coaching for building the trust you need to create confidence that lasts.

P.S. Registration for Imposter Speech Coaching opens on 10th March, 2022. Sign up to the waiting list so that you don’t miss out.

P.P.S. To make sure our emails don’t end up in your Junk folder, add caroline@carolineflanagan.com to your mailing list today.

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Has your boss ever told you they believe in you? That you are capable, that you have great potential, or that you should apply for a promotion or pay rise?

It should feel like a huge pat on the back to have a senior or respected colleague appreciate you like this:

It’s a reflection of your good work
It shows they are invested in you
It suggests they are keen to support your career.

But when you have Imposter Syndrome, people believing in you isn’t welcome approval - it’s a daunting trigger.

Having a boss who believes in you makes you feel even more pressured and afraid. That’s it! Your time’s up! You’re going to be found out for sure. The stakes are higher now. You not only have to worry about letting yourself down, but letting your boss down too. The risk of shame feels real, and it pushes you more than ever towards behaviour that is holding you back:

Overthinking
Overworking and
Playing small.

In this episode I explain how this behaviour creates unwanted results and I tell you what to do instead to create the results you DO want.

Remember - Imposter Syndrome isn’t a problem you need to fix. It’s a puzzle that you need to solve. In this episode I give you

the simple, practical 3-step process to help you solve it.

When you solve your Imposter Syndrome, other people’s belief in you won’t tell you anything new. It will confirm what you already know.

Tune in to learn more.

P.S. Registration for Imposter Speech Coaching opens on 10th March, 2022. Don’t miss out. Sign up to the mailing list so you receive the info straight to your inbox.

P.P.S. To make sure our emails don’t end up in your Junk folder, add caroline@carolineflanagan.com to your mailing list today.

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Thinking your successes are down to luck is a classic sign of Imposter Syndrome.

Instead of celebrating in your success and believing in how great you are, your Imposter Syndrome is triggered and you have thoughts like:

“I shouldn’t be here”

“It’s all down to luck” and

“My luck is going to run out”.

This way of thinking is the reason you are:

Overworking
Playing small
Seeking external validation.

When this happens, trying to tell yourself your success isn’t down to luck seems like the best solution (and it’s what your friends and colleagues will tell you to do). But it never works, and here’s why:

Imposter Syndrome doesn’t care about the truth.

So you can resist all you like. You can tell yourself how hard you worked to get here. But it won’t make any difference. No matter how successful you are, when you have Imposter Syndrome, your success always feels like luck.

This isn’t a problem.

In this episode I explain why, and I give you the simple solution that will:

Help you feel responsible for your own success
Leave you feeling more in control
Build trust in your ability to create success in the future.

Tune in now to find out.

Enrolment for the Imposter Speech Programme is opening 10th March 2022. Don’t miss out. Sign up to the mailing list so you receive the info straight to your inbox.

P.S. To make sure our emails don’t end up in your Junk folder, add caroline@carolineflanagan.com to your mailing list today.

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When you’re a lawyer with Imposter Syndrome, it’s hard to enjoy your work. You spend so much time feeling stressed, anxious and overwhelmed, you lose touch with the things that attracted you to the job in the first place. Your daily experience of work is so far removed from the idea of enjoyment, you view suffering through it as the norm.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

You may not be able to change your demanding clients. You may have little control over the hours. But what you can control, is how much you allow negative emotions like fear and anxiety to define your experience of work. Tune in to discover more.

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How do you feel on a Sunday evening?

If you frequently feel like you're dreading the start of the working week, there's a problem.

Getting the Sunday 'dreads' is a sign that your Imposter Syndrome has been triggered. Perhaps you're thinking about all the things you should have done but haven’t? Perhaps you're worrying because you don't know what’s coming in the week ahead - or feel insecure about your ability to cope with any challenges that may arise?

But the problem isn't really with what's coming - or what you haven't done, it's with how you are thinking about you and what you are making it mean.

P.s. If you found this episode helpful, you can get more great advice on Imposter Syndrome free every week, direct to your inbox. Sign up here

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How do you feel about failure? Would you welcome it? Can you accept it and learn from it when it happens?

If you suffer from Imposter Syndrome, I know that failure is one of the things you want to avoid at all costs.

If this is you, then it's time to revisit your beliefs about failure, what it takes to succeed and why failure tolerance is a skill you need to start developing today.

In this episode:

What is Failure Tolerance?
Why does it matter?
The mistakes you are making in how you view failure
How to develop your Failure Tolerance

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Many of my clients come to me because they aren't getting the recognition they deserve and they are feeling undervalued.

Recognition - when others show appreciation for what you do and the value you bring - is a basic human need and is particularly important when you work in an industry that demands so much of you. That's why it's important to understand what recognition is, why it matters and what you're doing that is stopping you from getting the recognition you deserve.

Tune in to learn more.

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Excessive checking is one of the secret signs of Imposter Syndrome because it is work that is driven by the fear of not being enough and the threat of being found out.

It may feel like it's best to keep checking. But excessively checking your work comes at a cost. It eats up time that could be better spent completing other work, catching up with loved ones or taking better care of yourself. It undermines your performance and stops you attracting the recognition you deserve. And it makes your job less fun than it should be.

In this episode, I explain what excessively checking your work is, why you're doing it and I talk about the powerful practical portable tool that will help you stop.

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I know, when it comes to your work, that long hours come with the territory. It's the nature of the work you do. But are you sure that every single one of those hours is adding value to what you do?

In this episode, I talk about what I call Overworking - excessive working, driven by Imposter Syndrome (that feeling of not being enough), which adds little or no value and is causing you to work longer hours than you need to. The most obvious examples of this are perfectionism and procrastination.

Just like Overthinking (see episode 108), Overworking is responsible for the 4 key challenges you are struggling within your career:

not enough time
not performing to your potential
not getting the recognition you deserve
not enjoying your job (as much as you used to)

And, as with Overthinking, the solution for stopping Overworking is just one simple tool: your Imposter Speech.

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Do you know the single most important cause of most of the issues you struggle with in your career? No, it isn't your demanding client. It isn't your boss. Neither is it the large number of hours you are expected to work each year. It's what your brain does when it operates from the fear of not being enough and it's called Overthinking.

In this episode I introduce you to the concept of Overthinking - what it is, what it's costing you in your career, and the first steps you need to take to put a stop to it.

Mentioned in this episode:

Episode #52: Thought Drama

Book:

Flow:The Psychology of Happiness by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

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Do you labour over emails?

Your approach to writing emails may seem like a small thing, but how you write them and how long it takes you speaks volumes about how you're showing up to your work. When it’s a laborious process that takes longer than it should, it means you are showing up from some form of not being enough, and that points to Imposter Syndrome.

Fixing this is easier than you might think. You don’t need a confidence-building course, you just need a strategy for getting out of your own head when your Imposter Syndrome is triggered.

In this episode I explain why you are always trying to make your emails perfect, how it is stopping you from doing your best work and how to use your Imposter Speech to change that, so you stop overthinking, stop overworking and start getting the recognition you deserve.

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Are you being haunted by a past failure?

Being haunted by the shadow of past failure is one of the secret signs of Imposter Syndrome that is causing you to overthink and overwork and is stopping you from performing as well as you could. This is not what failure is supposed to do.

I’ve had my share of failures and disappointments. But they don’t haunt me, they teach me - a better way of working. A more effective way to show up. Most importantly, I use my past failures to build my present belief.

Past failures shouldn’t haunt you, they should evolve you. When you process them correctly they don’t undermine your self-belief, they build it.

To get more support with your Imposter Syndrome sign up to my newsletter

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Do tasks take you longer than they should? Do you constantly underestimate how long a piece of work will take you?

Things taking longer than they should is one of the secret signs of Imposter Syndrome. It comes from overthinking and overworking and it means you're not performing at your highest level.

If you suffer from Imposter Syndrome you probably blame yourself. You think you don't know enough or aren't experienced enough and that everyone around you does things more quickly. But this kind of thinking causes procrastination, (more) self-judgement and doing more work than is actually needed so that in the end, things really do take longer than they should!

In this episode, I explain the importance of showing up to your work from a place of sufficiency and belief so you can laser in on the task at hand and get stuff done in the right amount of time. But sufficiency and belief aren't built in a day. They need to be shaped and formed and built over time using your Imposter Speech.

In this podcast:

Why things taking longer than they should is a secret sign of Imposter Syndrome
4 behaviours that make things take longer than they should
The right amount of time to spend on a task
How your Imposter Speech builds sufficiency and belief

Resources:

The Imposter Series - episodes 78 to 86 of the Caroline Flanagan Podcast.

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Do you ever feel anxious about client meetings? Do you worry about being asked a question you don’t know how to answer? Does your stress and anxiety come from a fear of not knowing enough?

Many of you are placing too much importance on what you know. Or more typically, on what you think you know or don't know. In this episode, I talk about why knowledge is important but, if you suffer from Imposter Syndrome, why it will never be enough.

You’ll hear the story of my client who claims to know he is a good lawyer, but whose thoughts and actions show that he doesn’t actually believe it. This is one of the Hidden Signs of Imposter Syndrome (no.56 - knowing but not believing) which may be causing you to overthink and overwork and could be stopping you from getting the recognition you deserve.

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“It’s either feast or famine” is an expression I used all the time when I was a lawyer in the City before I understood how results are created. Fifteen years later, my clients are still using it to describe their experience of work - one minute you’re overwhelmed and your billings are up 200%, the next minute the transaction is over, your billings are down and you’re lying awake at night worrying about paying the bills.

But although “feast or famine” seems like a fun and frivolous way of thinking about the vicissitudes of lawyer life, there is no such thing as an innocent thought. Every thought creates a result. Think “it’s either feast or famine” and that’s exactly what you’ll get.

In this episode, I explain why, if you want work to feel less volatile, you need to stop entertaining volatile thoughts. And if you want to work in a calmer and steadier way, you need to start entertaining calm and steady thoughts. And then I offer you a calm and steady thought that will ensure you never experience feast and famine again.

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This summer I did something I haven’t done in a very long time - holiday on my own. It was amazing.

If you’re someone who thinks holidaying on your own is a sad and lonely affair to be avoided at all costs, think again. It is one of the most powerful things you can do.

Mykonos is beautiful and fun (and expensive!). But for all its beauty, it wasn’t the island that made my holiday, it was me: the time I spent with myself, the attention I gave myself and the things I rediscovered about myself that I’d forgotten. I made my relationship with myself a priority and it was just brilliant.

Episode 102 is about being On Your Own:

How important it is to spend time on your own
How valuable it is to spend time on your own
And why spending time on your own can help you solve your imposter syndrome

Mentioned in this podcast:

Episode 35 Internal Validation

Episode 100 Self Concept

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Many of my clients are returning to the office this month. That means a return to commuting, face-to-face meetings, office politics, and a whole host of other things that are making them anxious.

If you’re facing the prospect of going back to the office and it’s causing you to fret and worry, you have to listen to episode 101 of the podcast.

In it, I break down the reasons why your brain is fearing the worst and how to calm those fears. You’ll discover that how you feel when you return to the office doesn’t depend on your commute or those you’ll come face to face with every day. It depends on you.

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Self concept - the way you see yourself - may not be something you think about consciously, but it is a key factor in your ability to internalise your success and create results every single day.

If you’re wondering why your imposter syndrome won’t go away, despite all you’ve achieved, the answer is an outdated self-concept. You’re progressing to a new level in your career with the old version of who you are.

The way to avoid this is to work on your self concept so that you become the new version of yourself ahead of time. It’s what I do each time I want to achieve big goals and the results have blown my mind.

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Do you set a goal and then work towards it, hoping that it will happen? Knowing that you have to do your bit, but believing that in the end, the result depends on things you can’t control: someone else’s decision; the number of hours in a day; or good old fashioned luck?

The up side of sharing responsibility for your results is that there’s always someone or something else to blame or share the blame with when you don’t get the result you want.

But here are the downsides: 1. If you don’t get the result you want, it reinforces your belief that you have no control 2. If you do get the result you want, it reinforces your belief that your success is built on luck 3. You miss opportunities 4. You give up too soon 5. You don’t even come close to achieving your potential

It doesn’t have to be like this. There’s a way to feel more in control and still succeed, even if you don’t get the result (at the first attempt). There’s a way to get the result and actually internalise the success of it, so your confidence grows. There’s a way to ensure you spot every opportunity and never give up too soon, so that you prove to yourself what you’re truly capable of.

All you have to do is stop setting goals and start creating results.

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I’ve been thinking about the clients I work with who feel undervalued and unappreciated, and they all make the same mistakes:

They think that working hard is enough.

They think their work should speak for itself.

They think that putting the client first, making sacrifices in their personal life and getting the job done to a high standard is enough.

But none of this will get you the recognition or promotion you deserve if people don’t know you. It’s not enough to be valuable. You have to showcase your value to the world, continuously.

My clients already know this, but they don’t do it. They think that showcasing their value is bragging. They think talking about their achievements is boasting. They all seem to have a colleague who showcases his or her value and comes across as arrogant and unappealing. They do not want to be that person. Sound familiar?

I’m here to tell you that showcasing your value has nothing to do with bragging or boasting. It’s about service. When you tell others how capable, experienced and hard working you are, you are giving them the information they need to help them make important decisions - such as who they should work with, who to pass the next opportunity on to, who they can hand over more responsibility to.

If you struggle with the idea of showcasing your value, you’ll love episode 98 of the podcast where I encourage you to showcase more of your value. In it I share the 3 simple mindset shifts that will free you from the fear of bragging, and motivate you to showcase your value in service to others and, in doing so, attract the recognition and promotion you deserve.

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Do you ever find yourself creating the very result you had been trying to avoid, because of how you reacted in the heat of the moment? Because you acted (or avoided taking action) out of fear, for example?

If you’re human, the answer is likely to be yes!

But what if it didn’t have to be that way?

What if you could experience an emotions like fear or anxiety, without being held hostage by them?

Emotional management is not about ignoring emotions or pretending not to feel. Quite the opposite. It’s about paying attention to your emotions and allowing yourself to feel them, and then being intentional about where you go next. As my coach likes to say about one of the most powerful emotions we all experience: “fear can be in the car, but it can’t be in the driving seat!”.

All of this is available to you, too. Not just as a way of coping with difficult emotions, but also as a way of learning how to enjoy and fully experience positive ones. All you need is emotional management. Of all the tools I could give you, this is the one.

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Exactly how serious are you about achieving your goal?

Are you committed?

Are you invested?

Do you have something to lose if you don’t achieve it?

There’s a noticeable difference between my clients who book their sessions, show up on time, engage in the coaching process and do the work; and those who don’t do any of that.

That difference is skin in the game and it is the difference between those who create extraordinary results, and those who don’t.

Which one are you?

When you have skin in the game you are heavily invested. The stakes are high and you have something to lose. When you have something to lose, you’re motivated to go all in on your goal and that’s what leads to extraordinary results.

That I’m willing to let go of clients who are not invested in their goal tells you a lot about the kind of coach I am.

I won’t let you sit on the fence about achieving your goals.

I won’t let you waste time chasing goals you don’t care about.

I’m going to show up for you by insisting you have skin in the game, and that’s how you’ll learn to succeed.

In this episode:

What we mean by skin in the game
What happens when you don’t have it
How to have skin in the game
The results you create when do

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2 weeks ago I didn’t know how to surf. Unlike my kids, I am terrified of the ocean and intimidated by crashing waves. Also, I absolutely hate being cold.

Today I long for the surf! I miss the push and pull of the waves as I try to paddle out; the nervous anticipation as a wave approaches and the excitement as I stand up on the board. Woohooooo!

What changed?

The ocean didn’t change. It is still fierce, intimidating and absolutely freezing.

I stopped thinking “I can’t do it” and I started thinking “I can figure it out”.

One simple thought shift gave me everything I needed to succeed:

the commitment to book a surfing holiday!
the courage to take that first step into the sea.
the willingness to be taught
the resilience to get back up and learn from my fails
the enthusiasm to enjoy it all - even squeezing myself into a wetsuit

All this, because I shifted one simple thought.

This isn’t just how I learned to surf.

This is how I create results.

I don’t wait for the world to change - to become less intimidating, less challenging or to guarantee that I’m not going to fail. I don’t wait for the conditions to be perfect. I change a thought, and the thought changes everything.

This episode is about how you, too, can start creating results with your thoughts.

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Would you call yourself an Imposter?

I would and I do. In fact I am proud to call myself an Imposter. In this episode I explain what that means and I challenge you to call yourself an Imposter too so that it can help you show up more powerfully in your life and create better results.

Calling yourself an Imposter is all about building a powerful relationship with yourself. It requires that you understand the cause of your Imposter Syndrome and that you 100% believe yourself to be unique, valuable and capable of creating extraordinary results. It’s a process. It requires work. But it’s one of the most powerful pieces of work you could ever do.

If you’re tired of being held back by your Imposter Syndrome and you’re ready to start creating extraordinary results, book a consultation with me here: Book a consultation

P.s. apologies if the sound is a challenge in this episode! Recorded from LaPoint surf camp in Portugal!

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Confidence is the thing we talk so much about, and crave so much when a challenge comes along, a set back occurs or when we have one of those days when we feel we can't get anything right. But what actually is confidence? And is it really what we need?

If this is not a question you've thought to ask yourself before, maybe it's time that you did. I discovered that when I sat down and really thought about it, the thing I craved so badly and thought I needed in order to succeed, was not what I needed at all.

In this episode I unpick the idea of confidence and explain why, when it comes to succeeding or fulfilling your potential or rising to challenges - you already have what you need. So stop pursuing confidence as if it’s the holy grail of success, just show up as who you are and let confidence take care of itself.

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“So tell me, do you still suffer from Imposter Syndrome?”

This question came from an old friend who I met up with last week for the first time in over a year. She told me she’d been following my work and life on social and now she had me in the room, this was the burning question she was desperate to ask me. A big smile beamed across my face. I felt excited and proud. “Yes I do. Of course I do. All of the time!” I told her, to which she replied: “I don’t get it” she said, “you always seem so confident. How can you be confident and still have Imposter Syndrome?”

If you’ve seen my work or my social posts, you may have wondered the same thing. But when you treat my confidence as a sign that I am over Imposter Syndrome, you’re missing the point. The reason I can show up with confidence, is because of my Imposter Syndrome, not in spite of it. It’s because I’ve turned it into a strength.

I know It’s not easy to see how imposter syndrome and confidence can sit comfortably together. I know this is the opposite of what you’ve always thought about imposter syndrome or been told by those who are trying to help you overcome it. But there’s another way to think about Imposter Syndrome. It’s a more empowering and effective way to think about it and it’s a way that produces the kind of confidence that lasts. Want to know how? Start listening.

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Do other people’s high expectations trigger your Imposter Syndrome? If so, you’re not alone. This week on the podcast I’m answering this question from an attendee at my Imposter Syndrome event for the Black Solicitors Network last month. They asked: “how do you deal with Imposter Syndrome when it’s caused by high expectations from your family?”

The answer to dealing with Imposter Syndrome, whether caused by high expectations or any other trigger, is always to turn your Imposter Syndrome into a strength. In this episode I show you how in 4 clear steps.

The first of those steps is to clean up your thinking and it’s relevant to every problem you want to solve. In any situation you encounter, there are the facts (what happened, what was said etc.) and then there are your thoughts about those facts.

The problem is that our thoughts are often driven by assumptions or beliefs that don’t serve us. They clutter our brains, making it hard to see things clearly and making us less receptive to the solution.

To hear me talk through all 4 steps in details, tune into the episode.

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I’ve been asked for advice on how to pick yourself back up when your Imposter Syndrome causes you to sabotage opportunities. Is this something you struggle with?

The most effective strategy for coping with setbacks and failures, is to have the structures in place before these things happen. That’s one of the reasons why the Imposter SpeechTM is so powerful. Because you’ve already done the work in creating it, you know exactly where to find it, and which bit to draw on, when you need it.

In this episode I walk you step by step through a process I would use to coach a client to pick themselves back up again. You’ll discover the importance of separating out the facts from your thoughts, emotions and actions, and then the transformational way your Imposter Speech gives you the motivation, courage and resourcefulness to get back up again.

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Do you invest in yourself?

I never used to. It never really occurred to me that I should. I think that had a lot to do with working in a huge global law firm where so much was organised and paid for by the firm - training, professional development, all that stuff. But when I started my business 15 years ago I discovered how important it is to invest your own money in yourself. It helps you value yourself more, feel more valued and it makes you more valuable in return.

What could you invest in right now that would increase your value? That investment is often money, but it doesn’t have to be. Often what we need to invest most is our time. If you’re stuck for ideas, I’ve got you covered. In this episode I share the list of 7 things I invest in and from which I continue to get a huge return.

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This week I’m talking about believe-ability, the word I use to describe your ability to believe in something, before you have proof that it’s true. It’s something many of my coaching clients struggle with. They want proof they are valuable to their employer, for example, before they are willing to believe they are valuable.

But this is the wrong approach. If you want a result (to feel valuable, to get promoted) you need to believe in the result before you have it. Why? Because belief in the result is what drives the action you must take to create that result. Simply put, if I believe I’m valuable, then I show up as valuable and this makes me show up with the energy, focus and commitment I need to create valuable results.

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If you wish others would value you more, then you're not alone. For most of my coaching clients, "Feeling more valued"" is either top of their wishlist, or a very close second. But what does it take to feel valued, and whose responsibility is it?

In this episode of the podcast I talk about the importance of valuing yourself, before you can expect others to value you. I talk about the 5 (and a half!) common mistakes people make when it comes to feeling valued, and then I share how to use the 80:20 rule to create a healthy balance of external validation and a sense of value that is internally generated.

At the end you’ll discover the only tool you need to help you access that value. Can you guess what it is?

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Do you have a go to approach for getting you through those moments when your Imposter Syndrome is triggered? or when you’re feeling the pressure? or when you’ve lost your mojo? I never used to. I used to make it up as I went along, trying whatever tips and tricks were the flavour of the month and taking in advice and suggestions from all angles. The problem with that approach was that either it didn’t work or, when it did work, any positive effects were temporary. When I encountered the next challenge, I always found myself back at square one

Not any more. These last few years I have tried and tested a tool I use in the face of every Imposter Syndrome crisis and during all those moments when I doubt myself, want to give up or just lose motivation. It has been an absolute game changer. This approach doesn’t just work in the moment. It creates exponential results over time. The more I use it, the more effective it is and the more confident I become in my ability to create the results I want.

That tool is the Imposter Speech.
This week on the podcast, following a series of episodes introducing the Imposter Speech, I now talk about how to use your Imposter Speech in the real world as a way to solve the problems that are holding you back in your life and/or career right now. I talk about how I use the speech as a whole in times of crisis, but also how I identify and apply specific parts of the speech to the problem I’m facing in the moment.

Here are just some examples of how to use your Imposter Speech in the real world:
To give you courage when you experience self doubt
To help you make decisions when you’re unsure which way to go
To affirm past decisions when you questions the decisions that brought you here
To stay focused on your goal when you’re being drawn off track
To motivate you when you’ve lost your drive
As an authenticity check to ensure you honour who you are

Tune in to hear more.

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If you set goals at the beginning of the year, now’s the perfect time to evaluate your progress towards them so far. If you haven’t, it’s not too late to set them. But goals are only half the story. The other half is the underlying purpose behind them.

On the podcast this week I talk about both goals and purpose - the difference between the two and why they are critical to helping you solve your Imposter Syndrome. I explain what a purpose is and why it’s so important to ensure your goals and purpose are aligned. I also give you 3 recommendations of where to look in order to find your purpose.

In this episode:

Goals vs Purpose
3 reasons why purpose is important
Why your goals and purpose help solve your imposter syndrome
How to set goals
How to find your purpose

Mentioned:

Episodes 78 to 84: The Imposter Series - Parts 1 to 7
So Good They Can’t Ignore You by Cal Newport

If you’d like to learn more about setting goals and defining your purpose as a way to solve your Imposter Syndrome, book a free consult with me

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Are you still showing up to difficult challenges and questioning your ability to cope? Then you need to own your backstory.In this episode I talk about your backstory. Your backstory is the story of how you got to here, where you are today. But it’s not the story of your successes. It’s the story of the setbacks, the struggles and the disappointments you faced and had to overcome along the way.

Your backstory is important because at every crossroads or hurdle you encounter, it can either work for you or against you. If you want yours to work for you, then you have to shape it that way.

I used to think my backstory was a negative one. When I thought about the difficult parts of my past, I would feel disappointed and angry and so I would prefer to not think about them at all. It took me years to realise my mistake. By refusing to think about the challenges I’d faced, I was denying myself the opportunity to see not only how resourceful I was, but also the experiences that made me so unique and valuable. Are you making that mistake too?

Owning your backstory will help to build a stronger identity and empower you to rise to future challenges, especially where those challenges trigger your Imposter Syndrome.

Interested in creating your backstory as part of your Imposter Speech? Join the Imposter Speech Facebook Group to learn more and to register for the Imposter Speech Programme.

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Have you ever been in the thick of a challenge as you try to reach your goal, and asked yourself: why am I here? Why am I putting myself through this? If yes, this episode on ‘why are you here’ is for you.

It’s a common question amongst my clients as they battle with their desire to succeed, their fear of failure and the inevitable discomfort of rising to their potential. Sometimes the frustration goes further and before you know it, they are questioning everything:

Why did I choose this career/role/industry?
I didn’t actually choose this, I just did it because it was the obvious next step/ it was what everyone else was doing/ my parents expected

The problem with this type of thinking is that it makes the challenge you’re facing so much harder to overcome. It undermines your confidence in your own decisions at the exact time when you need to go all in on the task and have your own back.

In this episode I explain why being able to answer the question “why am I here?” with, “I chose this” is a much better strategy for getting through tough times. Understanding what motivated the decisions that brought you here will help you move away from the debilitating thought “I shouldn’t be here” towards the infinitely more empowering and effective “I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be”.

In this episode:

Why it’s important to be able to answer the question: “Why am I here?”
What is your why and what does it do?
Examples of “why” that are impacting your decisions right now
How to start exploring your why

Mentioned in this episode:

Podcast episode #43: Living Your Why
Book: Be The First: People of Colour, Imposter Syndrome and the Struggle to Succeed in a White World, which is published on 26th February 2021, and is available to preorder here

Be The First: People of Colour, Imposter Syndrome and the Struggle to Succeed in a White World

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In this episode I talk about the importance of internalising your success.

So many of you are clocking up success after success without taking a moment to internalise their value. Is it any wonder then, that no matter how hard you work or how much you succeed, you still believe your success is down to luck and you question your right to be here?

The message I have for you this week is that your successes won’t internalise themselves! It’s up to you to take responsibility for your every success (and for recognising what success is) and then take deliberate action to internalise it.

My goal for you is that you start showing up to challenges and opportunities from where you are, instead of from where you think you should be. “Internalising your success”, which is part of the process for creating your Imposter SpeechTM, is the strategy I created to help you do this.

When you know how to internalise your success, it won’t matter that your Imposter Syndrome surfaces as you face a new challenge. The easy recollection of all those successes and achievements that led you here will give you the courage and confidence to show up to the challenge from where you are.

Questions to get you reflecting on your success:

What is your definition of a success?
How long do you wait before you chase the next success?
What have you done with your past successes?

Mentioned in this episode:

Podcast episode #81 - Imposter Series Part 3: The Imposter Speech
Book: Be The First: People of Colour, Imposter Syndrome and the Struggle to Succeed in a White World, which is published on 26th February 2021, and is available to preorder here

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This week on the podcast: James Bond your name!

I want to introduce you to a powerful tool for creating instant courage, building lasting confidence and showcasing your value - to yourself and to others. It’s free, it belongs to you and you can take it with you everywhere: it’s your name.

But it’s not enough to just have a name. It’s vitally important that you know how to use it.

In this episode you’ll discover that your name is the first part of your five part Imposter SpeechTM - the powerful identity statement I introduced you to in episode 80 and which I created to help you solve your Imposter Syndrome. Although the true power of your name can only be unleashed when you have been through each step of the Imposter SpeechTM process, there’s still so much you can gain by thinking about how you say and communicate it, what it means to you and the difference it can make when you decide to James Bond your name.

Mentioned in this episode:

On the Podcast:
Episode 13: Courage As A Tool

Book:

Be The First: People of Colour, Imposter Syndrome and the Struggle to Succeed in a White World

Facebook Group:

The Imposter Speech | Be The First community

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In episode 80 I am excited to share with you my transformational tool for turning your Imposter Syndrome into a strength. It helps you create instant courage, build lasting confidence and showcase your value so you never have to play small again.

I describe what it is and how it is different to the other solutions to Imposter Syndrome you may have come across, and how the process of creating it and repeatedly using it has helped me achieve goals I wouldn’t have conceived of or believed possible.

As well as explaining what it does, I talk you through the benefits of having an Imposter SpeechTM always to hand. I then share the version of my Imposter SpeechTM that helped me to write the book and is helping me to go all in on its success this year.

Mentioned in this episode:

Podcast episode 13: Courage As A Tool
Book: Be The First: People of Colour, Imposter Syndrome and the Struggle to Succeed in a White World, which is published on 26th February 2021, and is available to preorder here

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This week as part of a series of podcasts on Imposter Syndrome, I challenge your belief that Imposter Syndrome is something you can (or should) conquer, overcome or get rid of before you can realise your potential. Actually, I believe your Imposter Syndrome is here to stay and here's why:

I’ve tried so many of the tips and tricks for ditching imposter syndrome over the years, but the results were always fleeting
I don’t know anyone who has eradicated their imposter syndrome for good (but if you’re out there, I’d love to meet you!); and
The moment I accepted that Imposter Syndrome was here to say, is the moment I got some authority over it and discovered how to turn it into my strength.

In this episode you'll learn that that accepting your Imposter Syndrome is so much more empowering than resisting it, because of the authority it gives you and the new perspective it brings.

This week’s key takeaway:
Imposter Syndrome is not a problem you have to fix, it’s a puzzle you need to solve.

I’m going to be talking about the tool I created to help you solve your Imposter Syndrome next week, in episode 80.

Mentioned in this episode:

The Caroline Flanagan Podcast Episode #70: Acceptance
The book: Be The First: People of Colour, Imposter Syndrome and the Struggle to Succeed in a White World, which is published on 26th February 2021, and is available to preorder here

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In episode 78 I talk about the Imposter Syndrome crisis I had while writing my book... about Imposter Syndrome! I describe the conversation with my Speaker Coach, humorist Jeremy Nicholas, about where this particular strain of Imposter Syndrome comes from and why he found it so funny. I then share 3 key insights about Imposter Syndrome which helped me to solve this crisis so I could go on to finish the book, and which will help you to see your Imposter Syndrome in a new light. Here’s what comes up:

3 words to help you identify Imposter Syndrome:
* FRAUD: you feel like a fraud 
* LUCK: you feel your success is down to luck 
* EXPOSURE: you’re afraid that any minute now you’ll be exposed 

3 insights to help you solve your Imposter Syndrome:
* Your Imposter Syndrome doesn’t care about the truth 
* Imposter Syndrome does, however, contain a grain of truth 
* What matters with Imposter Syndrome is not whether it’s true or untrue, but what you make it mean 

Mentioned in this episode:
- Jeremy Nicholas, Speaker, Humorist and Keynote Tickler

Be The First: People of Colour, Imposter Syndrome and the Struggle to Succeed in a White World, which is published on 26th February 2021, and is available to preorder here

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What do you do when you’re finding things hard?

It happens to us all. You’ll have heard me say that life is an arena. That’s because sooner or later (and perhaps more often than we’d like) we come across something we think we cannot do, or we simply don’t enjoy or want to do. I’ll bet you’ve felt that way at work a few times already this year, to say nothing of this seemingly endless lockdown.

On the podcast this week I want to share with you the tool I use to help me do hard things. What I love about this tool is that it’s ludicrously simple, and surprisingly effective. It’s a mantra I say to myself when things feel hard and I don’t want to do them: “I know how to do hard things”.

It’s a bit like resilience, only it’s better, because it’s a tool you can actually use. Say it to get you through a difficult day, a challenging task or an overwhelming project. Or say it to give yourself the push you may need to step out of your comfort zone and do something bold that will progress your career this year. It’s been my go to tool lately as I prepare for the launch date of my new book, Be The First, on 26th February. Trust me, it works.

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What one thing could you be doing more consistently right now, to get better results?

We’re all good at being consistent, some of the time! When it comes to actions like brushing our teeth we all know the importance of being consistent if we want the right results (healthy teeth and fewer trips to the dentist!).

But when it comes to creating other results in our life, we forget how powerful it can be to take small actions consistently over time.

In episode 76 of the podcast, I discuss why consistency is key to creating the results you want. I share the areas of my life where I have been really consistent and created amazing results (writing my second book, a 3 year weekly blog, 4 years of an energising and grounding morning routine and 31 days – and counting - of Ashtanga yoga), and the areas in my life where I am being inconsistent and so missing out on great results (reading, this podcast!). Then I share my tips on how to introduce more consistency into your life so you achieve bigger and better goals with less effort.

In this episode:

5 reasons consistency is key
4 common mistakes that stop you being consistent
6 tips for taking more consistent action

Mentioned in this episode:

The Compound Effect
Episode 34: All Or Nothing Thinking
Atomic Habits by James Clear
The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
Small Habits Revolution by Damon Zahariades

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In this episode I talk about practical tools and solutions and why these aren’t enough. Practical tips and tools are great, and they work to an extent. But the real game-changer for achieving sustainable results, isn’t the practical stuff at all; it’s the internal thought work.

In this episode I talk about what internal thought work is, why it is so important, and why you need to make it a priority over the practical. It’s all very well having a toolbox of tips and tricks to turn to when facing a challenge or problem or chasing a goal, but these will only work if you develop the underlying confidence to use them.

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When you wake up feeling listless and demotivated, what do you do?

We all have “off days” – those days when we’re off our game, or just not feeling it.

The problem is that off days can sneak up on us without warning and for no particular reason, sapping our energy and enthusiasm and leaving us feeling frustrated that we’re not operating at our usual level. This can be a real challenge when we’re still expected to show up and perform.

The good news is, your off days don’t have to be a write off. In episode 74 of the podcast, I discuss why off days are important and I share practical ideas for using these days as an opportunity to press the reset button.

I’ve found the best way to deal with off days, is to be prepared for them before they come. You never know when your next off day will be. But when you’ve listened to this episode, you’ll know exactly what to do when it does.

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Do you have a person, or an idea of a person, you are determined not to be? And is this holding you back?

It’s not uncommon to have an anti-role model: someone whose behaviour you dislike and will do anything to distance yourself from. But has it occurred to you that your determination not to be that person could be holding you back? Or that you could learn something valuable from that person?

In this episode I challenge your assumptions about the person whose behaviour, style or attitudes you don’t like and invite you to take a closer look. Whether it’s an overbearing boss, an arrogant colleague or an overly critical client – there’s usually something beneath the surface of that person that you might do well to learn.

Get ready to have your assumptions challenged, and to start seeing your anti-role model in a whole new light.

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For many of us, so much has been lost this year – time spent with loved ones, the possibility of promotion, rejuvenating holidays in beautiful places, precious lives. But what have you found?

In this episode I’m directing your attention to the opportunities you could discover or create for yourself this year. Most people think opportunities are gifts from someone else. But the best opportunities don’t fall out of the sky. They are created. And you are the one who must create them.

In this episode I share some practical steps you can take to start attracting more opportunities into your life. Some of the best opportunities come out of adversity. Thanks to COVID, lockdown, Black Lives Matter and the many other challenges of 2020, the time is ripe for creating them.

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Many people hate the word power, and will do anything to avoid it.

I get that it has lots of negative connotations. Power can be about control and manipulation and the impact you have on others, but it doesn’t have to be. It can be about your innate ability to rise to life’s challenges and create incredible results in your own life.

If you struggle with words like “power” “powerful” and “empowerment”, this week’s episode is for you. I’m here to persuade you that when you reject the word power, you reject your own potential. You are powerful, whether you like it or not. The only question is, will you own that power and use it to create an amazing life for yourself, or will you plod through life pretending it’s not there?

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In this episode I talk about acceptance, and why accepting the way things are is the starting point for change. When you argue with reality you’re fighting a losing battle. You expend all your energy being frustrated or angry or resentful, and reality always wins.

The idea of acceptance as a starting point for change seems counter-intuitive. It sounds like acquiescence, giving up or saying everything is ok. But the opposite is true. When you accept what’s going on, you gain authority over the situation, it frees you up to see more clearly and you’re better placed to find the solutions that will lead to change.

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Your superpower is the thing you do easily, you most likely take for granted, and which others find difficult or don’t enjoy. In this episode I’m asking you to take a break from all the new skills you're trying to acquire, the new tools you’re trying to learn, and the new improved person you’re striving to be. Instead I want you to bring your focus back to who you are today.

If you’re anything like my clients, you tend to undervalue what you already have and put too much focus on what you don’t. The problem with doing this is that you miss opportunities that would otherwise be perfect for you and you’re depriving the world of your value.

My advice to you in this episode is to start with what you have and work with what you’ve got. The advantages of doing what comes easily and naturally are faster results with reduced stress and less effort. All you need to do is tap into your superpower, and find opportunities to put it to work.

Examples of superpowers:

You’re brilliant at connecting with others
You’re a master at connecting others
You’re a natural diplomat
You bring humour to difficult situations
You have the gift of the gab
Your smile lights up the room
You have an impressive memory
You’re also forming new ideas

It's time to stop depriving yourself and the world of your innate ability. Go find your cape and put it to work.

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In today’s episode I introduce you to the Inclusion Illusion. It’s one of the Progression Pitfalls I identify in my new book on Imposter Syndrome “Be The First” (published November 2020). Progression Pitfalls are the traps, distractions and roadblocks that will sabotage your progress and derail your attempts to fulfil your potential. The Diversity Distraction, which I introduced in episode 63 of this podcast, is one of them. The Inclusion Illusion is another.

The Inclusion Illusion is the belief held by someone in a minority group (a woman in an all-male industry for example; or a BAME professional in an all-white organisation) that you can’t feel valued or get access to the people and opportunities that will progress your career unless someone from the dominant group includes you and it’s a very real challenge many of you experience every day.

The problem is, it takes away your power and gives it to everyone else. The message I’m sending you in this episode helps you claim that power back: when no one is including you, it means it’s time to include yourself.

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Welcome to….. the Caroline Flanagan Podcast!

This is a special episode to announce that I’m renaming the podcast. From today, what was previously known as the Babyproof Your Career Podcast, will now be called the Caroline Flanagan Podcast. In this special episode I explain the reasons why.

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It isn’t enough to make a decision to do something. In order to make it happen, you need to recommit to the goal. Not just once, but over and over again until it was done.

After the initial enthusiasm and excitement when we first commit to a goal, it’s easy to lose momentum or become distracted on your way to achieving it. What I’ve also found is that it’s easy to set goals. But setting goals and taking action to achieve them are completely different things.

That’s why in this week’s episode I want to introduce you to the concept of ‘recommitment’ – the act of recommitting to something you’ve already committed to in the past – as a way to boost your motivation and accelerate progress towards your goals. Recommitment can be used in connection with a goal, or a decision. But it could also be used in relation to a choice you have made – about who to marry, or where to work, for example.

It’s not enough to set a goal or even to make a commitment to achieve it. If you’re going to stay the distance, commitment is required again and again and again. Until the job is done.

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If you’ve been working your usual long hours during lockdown, this period has probably been harder on your body. When you remove the commute to work, the excuse to stop by a colleagues office, go out to meetings or pop out for coffee, what you’re left with is a sedentary, stressful lifestyle that takes a physical toll on your body. The question is, have you noticed?

Most of us take our body for granted. Years ago I heard a highly successful woman describe how she regretted viewing her body “as nothing but a vehicle for my brain”. At the time, she was in remission from breast cancer. Her message was a reminder to all of us busy professionals in the room to pay closer attention to our bodies and what they tell us.

How you do this is easy: Your body speaks. All you have to do, is listen.

In this episode I talk about the many messages your body tries to send you, how to be better at listening to them and the risk of consequences when you don’t. I share examples of some of my own bad habits, including perhaps one too many references to my bladder and the tendency I have to ignore the call of nature when I’m absorbed in my work. You’ll be pleased to hear there’s more: practical advice about how to listen to your body so you can perform at your best and stay well.

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Research shows that 45% of our daily action is controlled by habit. Therefore, it’s important to consider what your habits are and whether they are producing the results you want. In this episode I invite you to think about the habits you’ve adopted in the last 6 months and consider: which habits do you want to leave behind? Which will you take forward? If “we are what we repeatedly do” as philosopher Will Durant proclaimed, then this is a great opportunity: decide who you want to become this year so you can consciously cultivate the habits that will get you there.

Mentioned in this episode:

Books:
Atomic Habits by James Clear
The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg

On the Podcast:
Episode #5 How To Get Up Early

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Vulnerability is usually seen as a weakness, so the last place you would expect to find it (or feel able to show it) is in the workplace. But Brene Brown’s work shows us that vulnerability has a place in all aspects of our lives - from leadership to parenting. It is the secret to getting the most out of others and the most out of ourselves. According to Brown, vulnerability is “life’s great dare”. If we want the best human experience, we need to go all in.

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This week I talk about distractions, and how they divert your attention away from the work you are here to do.

There are distractions everywhere - Instagram, Netflix, coffee breaks, unprecedented sunshine (here in the UK), the ongoing narrative around COVID-19 and Black Lives Matter, to name just a few. The distraction I draw your attention to today is the Diversity Distraction. In other words, the lack of gender, racial or other diversity in your workplace, community or around you.

Like other distractions, the Diversity Distraction is valid. But it doesn’t serve you because it takes away your power. All that energy and focus you are directing towards the problem, would be so much better served by directing it towards a solution.

Mentioned in this episode:

Episode #52: Thought Drama
Episode #14: Delayed Gratification
Episode #60: The One Thing

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Personal reflections on racial inequality - unscripted and unedited. Plus: wise words from my 16 year old son Dylan.

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Technology is our life line, keeping us connected and informed, but you can have too much of a good thing. Don’t let it overwhelm and overrun you.

This week’s episode is about all the digital noise we expose ourselves to and the impact this may be having on our productivity and mental health. As COVID 19 and Black Lives Matter continue to dominate the headlines, flood our inboxes and dominate our conversations, I know many of you are starting to struggle both mentally and emotionally. The volume of information and debate, the questions being asked and the search for their answers - all this has been, in the words of my clients and friends, “utterly exhausting”.

This podcast gives you permission to let go of some of this digital noise, and offers you practical solutions that will help you be a more responsible gatekeeper of how much you allow into your brain.

Mentioned in this episode:
Episode 57: Let It Go
Episode 52: Thought Drama

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Are you a pessimist or an optimist?

When things go wrong what do you make it mean? Do you interpret setbacks and failures as evidence that it can't be done, or that you're not good enough? Or can you find the value in every experience and use this to propel you forward?

This week I want to remind you that how you experience the world is up to you. Circumstances - what happens around you and to you - are neutral. Even something as seemingly out of your control as COVID. It’s you who gets to decide what impact an event like this will have on your life, purely by choosing what you make it mean.

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Is multi-tasking serving you?

If you’re tempted to respond with a triumphant “yes” to this question, I hear you! For many of us, especially those who are homeschooling children, the experience of lockdown has made multi-tasking seem more essential than ever.

But is it?

You may feel that you’re able to do more, but when you multitask your way through to do lists and distractions, there’s no real progress. You’re just running really fast on the spot.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

The message I’m bringing you this week is that multi tasking is an illusion. It’s not an achievement, it’s a distraction that will leave you exhausted and unsatisfied (because for every task you complete, 2 will rise to fill the space).

What’s needed is a more strategic approach. You need to work smarter not harder. And all you need to do to achieve this, is focus on The One Thing.

The One Thing, a concept from writer Gary Keller, is the opposite of multitasking. Multi-tasking is like an insatiable beast that doesn’t want you to stop and think and has no interest in you being strategic or efficient. The One Thing has the opposite effect. It makes you think. It forces you to be strategic. It wants you to work smarter, not harder and get where you’re going more easily.

Mentioned in this podcast:

Episode 52: Thought Drama

Apply what you’ve learned:

Lawyers - Book your free 30 minute coaching consultation: https://carolineflanagan.as.me/freeconsult

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Not many of us have been feeling comfortable lately. With COVID19 turning our lives upside down, discomfort has become the norm and we’re all desperate to get back to some sort of normality so we can all be comfortable again.

But when that time comes, don’t get too comfortable!

You’ve heard of the Comfort Zone - that place beyond which we know we should occasionally push ourselves. But I don’t think the word ‘zone’ is enough to portray how limiting it is when you play it safe. That’s why the name I’m choosing to describe this from now on is “enclosure” - The Comfort Enclosure.

An enclosure is a place that is safe and protected - where you can avoid mistakes and too much exposure. It’s the land where there are high defences against criticism or judgment, and the opportunities for failure are non-existent. But all of that safety comes at a price: your potential is curtailed; growth is stunted and you never find the answer to that question that lays quietly unanswered in the back of your mind: who can I be? how far could I go? what am I really capable of?

One of my favourite expressions says “ The lies we tell ourselves are the biggest lies of all.” I think it’s perfect for what we often tell ourselves about how capable we are and where we want to be. We tell ourselves we have a great reason for staying where we are, when what we’re really doing is playing it safe, holding onto comfort.

In this week’s episode I talk about the Comfort Enclosure and share 8 signs that show you’re stuck inside it, for example:

· Doing your job with your eyes shut
· Procrastination and avoidance
· Lack of passion or interest in what you do
· Doing things because that’s what you’ve always done

Playing it self to avoid COVID19 is one thing. But you may want to question how much playing it safe in your career and personal life is really serving you. Listen in to hear more.

Mentioned in this episode:
Episode 4: Fail Again, Fail Better
Episode 11: The Discomfort Zone

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One of the things that has sustained me through this time of waiting and uncertainty, is an old adage I first came across in a book of inspirational quotes given to me by my school friend Monette. It served me well when I was 15, and has worked well for me many times since:

This too shall pass

Such simple words. But there is nothing simple about their message: life is always in flux. Nothing stays the same.

What makes this phrase so powerful is it’s ability to reassure and comfort in challenging times, and to inspire gratitude and humility during the good times. That’s why This too shall pass will be every bit as useful to you when we return to a semblance of normality, as it is in this time of uncertainty.

Discover why this message is so important, and 7 ways you can start applying this wisdom in your life right now.

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The freedom to move around, eat at restaurants, go on holiday, visit your friends and family; the freedom to have someone else educate your kids! These are some of the things we've been forced to let go of as a result of lockdown. These are all wonderful things. They are things that serve you and you want to hold onto them because they enhance your life. But there’s something you’re holding onto that doesn’t serve you. And it’s time to let it go. This week I invite you to think about the stuff you’re holding onto that isn't serving you - a past relationship, old resentments, impossible standards of perfection, or a limiting belief about your promotion prospects for example. Think about it, and then decide to let it go. Letting go can be difficult, even painful. It’s easy to think that without these things in your life you’ll be worse off, or somehow you’ll be less than. But the opposite is true. Holding on to things that no longer serve you will keep you stuck in the past and blind you to new possibilities and growth. While you’re waiting to re-attach to things that uplift and sustain you - a hug from a dear friend, a visit to see family, a long-awaited holiday - now is a great time to consciously let go of the things in your life that have the opposite effect.

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With talk of easing lockdown restrictions in some countries, it’s time to turn our attention to what happens next. You’ve probably been pondering how the world will be different. But the question I want you to consider is, how will you be different? In this episode, I share the reasons why you should become an expert - at something. Anything! A career-related specialism, a personal hobby or passion, it doesn’t matter what it is. It only matters that you get to experience the benefits of focusing on one thing and progressing it to a higher level. One of the upsides of COVID-19 is our renewed focus on what’s important - with health and relationships topping the list. But happiness is up there too. And that’s where building your expertise comes in. The quest to become an expert brings a myriad of benefits. A tangible boost to your happiness is just one of them. Enjoy!

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“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how” – Friedrich Nietzsche This week I am talking about your Why: the things you need in your life in order to feel happy and fulfilled. This is what matters most. When you're constantly busy and it feels as though there aren't enough hours in the day, taking time to reflect on what matters most to you is so easy to forget and neglect. That's why this week I want to remind you of the importance of your values and show you how to make them a priority in your life. This might sound indulgent and impractical in light of your daily challenges. But think about where you are now. With all the uncertainty and disruption, what better time is there to think about who you are and what's important to you, and to make a commitment to honoring that? In this episode: 1. How my childhood experience shaped my biggest Why 2. How to discover your values 3. Why you have a great chance of being happier at work than at home 4. Fives steps to living your Why 5. A powerful coaching question to help you live your why

Mentioned in this episode: 1. Download my guide to discovering your values. 2. The new book I'm writing this year is on Imposter Syndrome in the BAME (Black Asian and Minority Ethnic) community. If you identify as BAME and have ever felt like an Imposter, I'd love to hear from you - get in touch: caroline@carolineflanagan.com

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What are you assuming during these uncertain times? * That your career has stalled? * That your partner is wrong? * That the Coronavirus has ruined everything?

We all make assumptions. It’s a highly efficient strategy for navigating our way through the day. But when assumptions are driven by fear or any other emotion, they are often misleading, sometimes entirely wrong and worst of all, they keep you stuck. In this episode I ask you to keep in mind one of the most powerful questions I could ask you: What are you assuming? Behind every challenge or obstacle is an assumption you’re making that’s preventing you from finding a solution. Assumptions like: * there’s a right or wrong answer * it shouldn’t be this way * she did it deliberately * he knew it would upset me * they don’t value me * this is a disaster

When you find yourself stuck, question your assumptions. Go back to the facts. Look at things differently: What if the opposite were true?

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"You are SUCH an idiot! How could you have been so STUPID? What is WRONG with you???"

Most of you wouldn't dream of talking to someone you loved in such a critical, judgemental undermining way. So why direct this type of judgment and criticism at yourself?

This week I'm discussing self-talk - the words, tone, language and messaging you send to yourself each day. It shows up in many ways - from the random thoughts that crop up in your head in response to an event or circumstance; to the incessant background chatter that plays over in your mind like a Spotify song on repeat.

Your self-talk is extremely powerful. It can either work for you or against you. My message to you this week is that your self-talk is 100% up to you: whether you are your own worst critic or your biggest champion - you get to choose.

Discover:

how self-talk works like the soundtrack to your life
the no. 1 mistake you may be making with your own self-talk
the self-talk opportunity you are probably overlooking

Learn:

8 tips to making your self-talk work for you
how to apply a zero-tolerance policy to damaging self-talk

Mentioned in this episode:

Brene Brown's TED Talk on Vulnerability

Episode 52: Thought Drama

Great soundtracks:

https://brenebrown.com/videos/ted-talk-the-power-of-vulnerability/

The Greatest Showman
The Intouchables

Seriously sinister soundtrack

The Outsider

Love this episode? Click here to leave a review onÂ iTunes

link: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-babyproof-your-career-podcast/id1450726235

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‘Thought drama’ refers to the repetitive, unproductive cycles of thinking that is keeping you stuck. It’s not thinking that’s the problem. It’s our lack of control or discipline over it. When we don’t have discipline and focus in our thinking, we often end up over dramatising. We shift into negative or distorted thought patterns where we lose clarity and perspective. We overgeneralise, catastrophise and jump to conclusions. We exaggerate, personalise, focus only on the negative. The problem with thought drama is it keeps us stuck. It’s impossible to achieve clarity and we can’t see a way forward. I’m here to show you how to change that. In this episode: * Why thought drama is a form of procrastination * 3 reasons to put a stop to thought drama * 5 was to stop the thought drama so you can move forward

Referenced in this episode: Episode 34: All or Nothing Thinking

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This week I'm introducing you to the FONK! You've heard of FOMO - the fear of missing out. The FONK is also a fear. But instead of being the fear of missing out, this is the fear of not knowing. The FONK is a common cause of stress and anxiety in many a high achiever and a serious hindrance to their personal and professional growth. But it doesn't have to be this way. In this episode, I share my tips and strategies for overcoming the FONK so you can feel less anxious about important meetings, presentations, and interviews and respond to questions you don't know without losing credibility. Here's what's coming up: * The FONK as Imposter Syndrome's annoying little sister * 7 questions that will help you discover if you have the FONK (short video) * 8 strategies for overcoming the FONK

Mentioned in this podcast: Episode #11: The Discomfort Zone Episode #1: Imposter Syndrome

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Would you consider working with a Coach? Occasionally when I ask this question the answer is an emphatic no. When I dig a little deeper I discover that lots of you don’t know what coaching really is and how it works. In this episode, I want to change that. Of the many myths about coaching, the one that holds many of you back is that coaching is a sign something is wrong. You see it as admitting you can’t cope or you’re just not good enough. Nothing could be further from the truth. Working with a coach is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength. It’s about knowing you have potential and enlisting the support of an expert to help you realise it. This episode shows you how working with a Coach has changed other people’s lives, my life and how it can change yours. Are you a lawyer who is interested in hiring me as your Coach? Get in touch: caroline@carolineflanagan.com On the Blog: https://www.babyproofyourlife.com/the-power-of-coaching/

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This week I'm talking self-care and reminding you that you are your most important asset. You already know this, but are you living it? Sleep, diet, exercise, and downtime - Are you making these things a priority? Are you holding yourself accountable to ensure you are getting enough? Don't make the mistake of thinking self-care is self-indulgent. If you don't work, nothing else will. If you don't show up well for yourself, you can't show up well for anyone else. In this episode: * why you need to be on top of your game * why you need to be a bit more selfish * why you need to be your main priority * the consequences of neglecting your self-care * 7 tips for improving your self-care today

Mentioned in this podcast: Episode #30 Babyproof Your Body with Holly Aldridge On the Blog: * Get Your Self Care Regime Back on Track

https://www.babyproofyourlife.com/self-care-regime/ * If You Don't Respect Yourself Ain't Nobody Gonna Give a Good Cahoot

https://www.babyproofyourlife.com/self-care/ * How Do You Form Good Relationships? Start With Yourself

https://www.babyproofyourlife.com/how-do-you-form-good-relationships-start-with-yourself/

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This week I’m taking inspiration from Michelle Obama’s book “Becoming” to ask you: “Who are youbecoming?” It’s a powerful question to remind you that your life is a work in progress, a journey - and you are constantly evolving as you travel it. Ask yourself “Who am I becoming?” when you get promoted, as a reminder that you may need to let go of certain behaviors and adopt new ones. Ask yourself this question when you are pursuing your goals - as a reminder that, until you achieve them, you are a work in progress, and as a check to ensure you are on the right track. And ask yourself this question to overcome self-doubt - as a reminder of how far you’ve come and to help you draw strength from past achievements.

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How often have you avoided setting an ambitious goal or seizing an opportunity because you didn’t want to set yourself up for failure? I hear it all the time, and it drives me a little crazy!

In this episode, I talk about what it means when you use ‘I don’t want to set myself up for failure’ as a reason to stay where you are, settle for what you have and avoid stretching and challenging yourself… all because you’re afraid to fail. It means you’re still viewing failure as negative, as something to be avoided at all costs, instead of what it truly is: as an opportunity to grow.

Coming up in this episode:

If you don’t risk failure, you don’t grow and you’ll never know
Why failure is the key to unlocking your potential
Why failure is the answer to so many of the challenges in your life right now
Why reaching your goal is not nearly as important as who you become on the way to achieving it

Mentioned in this episode:

Episode 4: Fail again, fail better
Episode 18: Fulfilling your potential

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You could say life is all about decisions. Not just the big decisions you make - such as what to do, where to live and when to start a family; but the small everyday decisions that are responsible for the results you’re getting in your life right now – decisions like what time to get up in the morning, what to eat and drink and how you spend your evenings. Yet despite their importance, we spend very little time learning how to make decisions. The result is we agonise unnecessarily over the big ones and underestimate the value of the small ones.

In this episode:

My top tips for making big decisions more effectively
The unconscious decisions that are creating your results
The no.1 mistake to avoid when making big decisions
5 things that can sabotage a good decision
When you make a decision, make a DECISION
The 3 most important decisions to make each day

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In this week’s episode, I’m focusing on a relationship which you probably don’t give much thought to. It’s the relationship you’re most likely to take granted, the one you most likely ignore and neglect. I’m talking about the most important relationship of all: your relationship with yourself. How you feel about yourself, how you speak to and treat yourself, affects everything. Look closely, and you’ll realise that much of what’s going on in your life is a mirror of your relationship with yourself. It affects:

How others treat you
How you show up in the world
How ambitious you are
How resilient you are
How happy you are

In this episode, I talk about the 6 things you need to do less of, and the 6 things you need to have or do more of, in order to have a healthier relationship with yourself. I also suggest 4 actionable steps that will help you improve that relationship today.

Mentioned in this episode:

On the Podcast:

Episode 35: Internal Validation

Episode 38: Earned Confidence

Episode 44: Listen Closely

On the Babyproof Blog

Ask for what you want https://www.babyproofyourlife.com/ask-for-what-you-want-in-life/

Listen up. Why listening is the most underrated skill https://www.babyproofyourlife.com/listen-up-why-listening-is-the-most-underrated-communication-skill/

Who’s on your side? The importance of relationships to help you get ahead https://www.babyproofyourlife.com/importance-of-relationships-to-help-you-get-ahead/

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LIstening - it’s a capacity most of us have, but we carelessly overlook, underuse or often take for granted. As a coach, it’s my job to be able to listen deeply and powerfully during my coaching sessions, so I can pick up every detail, every nuance, every hidden meaning. Listening may not be your day job, but it’s a great opportunity to deepen your relationships, spot hidden opportunities and bring out the best in others - both professionally and personally. My question for you to reflect on this week is, are you listening closely enough? Because it’s not enough just to listen. If real communication and connection are going to take place, you need to listen deeply, closely, attentively - so you can truly hear what is being said. Coming up in this episode: * 6 reasons to be a better listener * Who you should listen closely to (and those you may be overlooking) * 7 tips to help you listen closely

Mentioned in this episode: Book: “Time to Think” by Nancy Kline Quote: “Every man is my superior and in that, I learn from him” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

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It’s time to start planning for the New Year. But before you rush into making those New Year’s resolutions, it’s important to do an assessment of your past year - what worked, what didn't - and use this as a starting point for your New Year plans. This is the only way to ensure you don’t spend 2020 making the same mistakes, missing the same opportunities and stumbling at the same hurdles. This may sound like a daunting task, but all you need to do is start with what matters: your Why. Your Why are your values - the things that matter most and that you need in your life in order to feel happy and successful and fulfilled. They are the product of your life experiences and are unique to you. This is why Living Your Why is the perfect benchmark for assessing this past year and the only starting point for planning the next. In this episode, I encourage you to reflect on how you’ve been Living Your Why this year and consider what you’ve learned. I do this by sharing my reflections on how I have personally lived mine and how I’m using what I’ve learned to inform my ambitious goals for 2020. Mentioned in this podcast: Episode 4: Fail again, fail better Episode 11: The Discomfort Zone Episode 30: Babyproof Your Body with Holly Aldridge

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This week I'm excited to discuss one of my favorite topics: public speaking. If you listened to episode 41 you’ll recall that it’s one of my 3 recommendations for 10x-ing your profile! Stepping onto the stage and under the spotlight is a game-changer: not just for your career, but for you too. It's not just about the influence you'll wield and the visibility you'll gain. Imagine the resilience you build, the discipline you develop, and the knowledge you'll attain on the way.

Most people avoid public speaking like the plague, and of those who are doing it, few of them are doing it well! All of which means that public speaking is a massive opportunity to increase your visibility, 10x your profile and stand out from the crowd. Listen now to discover how.

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This week's episode is about how to raise your profile so you are more visible and attract more of the right people and opportunities that will progress your career. There are many different ways to raise your profile. But not all of the tools and techniques are equal. Some make a splash, others create a wave.

In this episode, I discuss the small action that can raise your profile if you do it consistently over time vs. the massive action that can blow your profile through the roof if you are willing to go all the way.

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You already have a personal brand. It doesn’t matter whether you’ve taken deliberate steps to build it or not. Your appearance, behaviour, attitude and a host of other factors are constantly communicating to others who you are, your value and what they can expect when they interact or work with you. So the question is: what do others say about you when you're not in the room? If you don’t know the answer to this question, then you have to tune into this week’s episode of the podcast, which is all about building a personal brand that represents and serves you. Here’s what I cover: * how to be more aware of how you come across by observing your own behaviour * how to set aside your fear so you can ask others what they think of you * why your personal brand is relevant to your personal life as well as your career * the many ways to communicate your personal brand, and * the easy way to build and live your brand

Your brand is already out there. It's time to make it work for you. Mentioned in this podcast: Episode 11: The Discomfort Zone Episode 20: Your appearance matters with Lizzie Edwards

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There's a huge difference between being seen and being visible. One is passive, the other active. One keeps you powerless, the other puts you in control.

This week on the podcast I talk about the importance of making yourself more visible at all stages of your working parent career. You already know this of course, and yet you're still not doing enough to make this happen. Why is that and what are you going to do to change that?

When I think back to my days as a finance lawyer in the City, I was the same. I knew what I needed to do, but doing what it took to make myself more visible felt like a huge challenge. But since I started to treat this as one of my highest priorities, it became so much easier. And the results have been outstanding.

If you want to increase your visibility at work, but you're not sure where to start, tune into this week's podcast. Here's what I cover:

The difference between being seen and being visible
4 mistakes you make about how others should treat you
The common fears that are holding you back
Getting past the fear of visibility
11 ways to start increasing your visibility today

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Confidence - if only we had been born with it!

But confidence isn't something you're born with. It isn't innate. It's earned.

Earned confidence is the confidence you get from doing hard things, uncomfortable things, things you are afraid of doing because you don't know how to do them yet. When you think about how a toddler learns to walk, you accept that the only way he or she becomes a confident walker is to take a step then fall then get back up again; try and fail and try again and again until they figure it out. So why, when it comes to you - when you want to be confident at doing something - do you expect it to be the other way round? You want the confidence first before you take any action!

In this episode, I want to transform how you think about confidence so that instead of wishing you had the confidence to act, you take action first to earn the confidence later. Here's what I cover:

The 3 things that walking and talking teach us about confidence, and how you are ignoring these principles every day
Why you should treat confidence like you do your salary
The compound effect of earned confidence
Why you should be intentional about discomfort.

Mentioned in this episode:

Episode 4: Fail again, fail better
Episode 11: The Discomfort Zone
Episode 13: Courage as a Tool
Episode 33: The Gift of Negative Feedback

If you're a lawyer who wants help with this topic, click on this link to book your free 30-minute coaching consultation with me: https://carolineflanagan.as.me/freeconsult

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This week I’m tackling one of the topics I know many of you struggle with: perfectionism. I’ve noticed that while many of you would rather not have the negative side of perfectionism - taking more time to do things, being afraid of negative feedback, the stress involved in always trying to produce to the highest standard to avoid being ‘found out’ - at the same time you are very attached to the idea of yourself as a perfectionist because of what it says about your work ethic. You see it as one of your strengths and the foundation upon which you’ve built your career. If you are someone who struggles with perfection, seeing it as part of your identity is one of the things that are holding you back. It’s time to let it go. In this week’s podcast I offer 6 strategies for letting go of perfection: 1. Change how you talk about yourself. 2. Disrupt your process by producing B- work. (Yes, you did read that right!) 3. Plan results ahead of time

Listen to this week’s episode to discover the remaining 3 strategies and how to make them work for you. Here’s what you’ll also learn: 1. The worst thing about perfectionism 2. Perfectionism in the world of parenting 3. Perfectionism and Imposter Syndrome 4. Why the most important work you can do is to get to know yourself 5. What’s possible when you let go of perfection

Mentioned in this podcast: 1. Upcoming events and dates for your diary: 1. Tuesday 19 November 2019: The Babyproof Breakfast Workshop: Confidence vs Courage - which will take you further and how do you get more of it 2. Wednesday 4 December 2019: Build Your Profile, Raise Your Visibility hosted by Katten Muchin Rosenman 3. Wednesday 11 December 2019: Build Your Profile, Raise Your Visibility hosted by Sidley Austin 2. My book: Babyproof Your Career - How to balance career and family so you can enjoy it all 3. The 80/20 Principle by Richard Koch 4. Episode 36: For Growth’s sake 5. Episode 35: External Validation 6. Episode 13: Courage as a tool 7. HBR article on women needing to be 100% qualified to apply for a role

Baby Proof Your Career: The Secret To Balancing Work and Family So You Can Enjoy It All

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What I’ve discovered this month, is how much more satisfaction there often is in growing and making progress, than in actually achieving specific goals.

Now don’t get me wrong. You know I’m all about setting goals and being ambitious, and I know many of you are too. But I also know that if we only focus on the concrete achievements, we miss out on the huge amount of fun and fulfilment there is to be had along the way.

So this week I want to encourage you to commit to growing for growth’s sake – in other words, to value the journey to achieving your goals as much as you value the goal itself. Not because that journey is easy (it’s often not!) but because of what you learn and who you become along the way.

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I’m so excited to bring you this episode on internal validation because it speaks to an important issue that comes up again and again: External validation. Perfectionism, an inability to set boundaries, playing small and difficulty coping with negative feedback – at the root of all of these problems lies an over-reliance on others for your confidence and self-esteem. This week’s episode is here to help you change that.

Coming up:

The 4 reasons why external validation is bad news for your career and your mental health
Why self-doubt is more self-indulgent than self-reflection
Why it’s not your boss’ responsibility to make you feel confident and valuable
The 9 hard questions you should be asking and answering about yourself
How to validate yourself ahead of time
The 3 benefits of internal validation

Stop relying on external validation for your confidence and self-esteem. Build confidence from the inside out.

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It’s natural for our brains to generalise and make assumptions about how the world works. That’s so much easier than weighing up every individual fact, comment or experience on its own merits and coming to a new independent conclusion each time. And who can blame us if our brain deliberately seeks out evidence of what we already believe to be true, and tries to ignore the rest?

But does this way of seeing the world serve you?

This week’s podcast is about all or nothing thinking – our tendency to make sweeping generalisations that distort the facts and keep us stuck. When you use words like "always" and "never" and “everyone” and “no one”, you pitch yourself against what your brain sees as the unavoidable nature or natural order of things in a battle that you have no chance of winning. You end up stuck and miss the opportunity to come up with creative ways to resolve the issue or problem.

Notice how your all or nothing thinking is keeping you stuck, and challenge yourself to stop. Find the exception to the rule, judge each situation on it’s merits and then go to work on solving all the issues life throws at you, one problem at a time.

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When you’re a high achiever and the standard you usually strive for is perfection, it’s easy to see negative feedback as painful and try to avoid it at all costs. But every piece of negative feedback you receive contains a nugget of gold you can use to invest in your future success. It’s time you stopped hiding from negative feedback and recognised it for the opportunities it brings: to grow as a person, improve as a lawyer (or whatever your speciality is) and to raise your game to the next level in the next round. Negative feedback is a gift – seek it out, receive it with thanks, learn from it and use it to your advantage.

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Is balance your goal?

If yes, you're not alone. It's the number one response I get to the question "how can I help? What do you want?”

But there's a problem with choosing balance as your objective and that's because it's so vague. Most people I ask really struggle to define what it means to them. In other words, they say they want a goal, but they don't really know what that goal looks or feels like, let alone how they are going to get it or measure their progress towards it.

In this podcast episode, I offer you an alternative view of balance - that balance is a doing thing, not a being thing. It takes work! It requires action! And the good news is that the rewards are available to you every day.

When you embrace balance as a doing thing, everything changes. Suddenly, it's no longer all about your boss or your office culture, your clients or your team. It's about you and how good you are at shifting and adapting, testing and tweaking the many different balance strategies and tools at your disposal.

Stop wishing or hoping to have better balance. Roll your sleeves up, get your hands dirty and practice the art of balance until you've mastered it and can enjoy it.

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You already have everything you need to build the career and create the life you want. It’s a bold ambitious claim, but I know it to be absolutely true. Resilience, Flexibility, Courage, Commitment.. these are just some of the innate resources you have at your disposal for when life gets hard or for when you have ambitious goals you want to achieve. In this episode, I tell you why it’s time to stop overestimating the role that outside circumstances and people are playing in your life, and give more attention and focus to what you can do to make a success of progressing your career and growing a family at the same time.

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Let’s talk about Babyproofing Your Body! After all, our bodies play a HUGE role in how confident we feel, how healthy we are and how well equipped we are to cope with the challenges of being a working parent. So this week I have an absolute treat for you. Whether you are planning a family and feeling anxious about the impact it will have on your body, or you are already a parent and are still struggling to lose the baby weight, you are going to LOVE this interview with my personal trainer Holly Aldridge. Holly is the owner of Holly Aldridge Personal Trainer who runs a business training people either from their home or outdoors in Hertfordshire.

In this episode, she shares clear no-nonsense advice about preparing your body for pregnancy, weight loss, body image (in young girls as well as women) and the importance of exercise to our mental health. Enjoy!

To learn more about Holly: http://ha-personaltraining.com/

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In Coach Yourself Part I, I explained the relationship between your thoughts and the results you are getting in your life. This week I show you how you can use this knowledge to create the life and career you want. It is not your circumstances that determine your happiness or success, but how you think about those circumstances. How empowering this is! It means you no longer have to feel like a victim of your circumstances or of how others treat you. You can achieve your goals, solve your problems and resolve any issues purely by changing your thoughts. All you have to do is coach yourself. Coaching yourself has 2 stages. In stage 1: the Default Model, you shine a light on your current thinking and the result this creates. In stage 2: the Intentional Model, you change your thinking to create a different result. Simple but not easy. Listen now, to learn how it’s done.

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Do you have a strategy for coping with the challenges life throws at you and for creating the life you want? If the answer is no, then you’ll love this week’s episode. Self Coaching is one of the most important and useful skills you can develop as a working parent (and just as useful if you’re not). It is the key to coping with the challenges life throws at you as well as providing a blueprint for achieving your goals. Most people don’t do it. Maybe it’s because they don’t recognise how much control they have over their lives and think that the results they are getting are due to circumstances outside of themselves. Or perhaps it’s because they simply don’t know-how. I’m here to change that.

If you want to get the best results in your life, coach yourself. Learn to manage your thoughts and feelings in a way that gives you access to your incredible capacity to solve problems, generate ideas and take action. This podcast is part 1 of a 2 part series that shows you how.

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How do you say no to a client without sabotaging your career? Or to a loved one without damaging the relationship? Whether you’re planning a family or already a working parent, saying no is one of the most important tools in your Balance Toolkit. The demands and requests others make or expect of you will far exceed your capacity to fulfil them. If you can’t say no, you risk overwhelm, stress, exhaustion and even your mental health. But you already know this. You know you need to say no if you want to set better boundaries. The question is, how do you actually do it? How do you say no without fear of sabotaging your career or harming your relationships? If you can relate to the above, you’re not alone. So many of my clients know they need to set clearer boundaries, but they’re held back by negative beliefs about saying no and a fear of the consequences. That’s why I dedicate a whole month to the topic of Boundaries in the Babyproof Career Coaching Programme, and I share very practical advice on how to say no without sabotaging your career or relationships. This week I’m excited to share this practical advice with you, including these different types of no you can use to set better boundaries at work and at home: * The Unconditional No * The Compassionate No * The Helpful No * The Concrete No * The Non-negotiable No

The most important message for you to take away is that saying no is not the issue. The issue is how you say it, and what you make it mean. Tune in now for powerful practical advice on how to say no.

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This week’s episode is all about managing expectations. Unlike setting boundaries which is about saying no (Episode 25), managing expectations is about saying yes, but on your terms.

Managing expectations is important because there are more demands on your time than you have time available, and if you want to say yes to some of those demands without jeopardising your work-life balance, you need to ensure that yes works for you, too.

Saying yes in a way that works for you is what I call giving a ‘’conditional yes’ and it’s the tool I want to share with you in this episode. Use this tool to:

Tell others ahead of time what they can expect from you to avoid disappointment or confusion or problems in the future.
Bridge the gap between other people’s expectations and your priorities, capacity or capability
Apply conditions to your acceptance that are going to make it easier for you to deliver.

Saying yes unconditionally means you'll never be in control of your time and instead will always be at the mercy of someone else's agenda. Making your yes conditional, on the other hand, gives you the freedom to deliver value and honour your commitments while staying true to values like balance, order and trust.

For specific examples of the conditional yes and to learn how to use it, tune in to this week’s episode.

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In this episode, I invite you to think about your boundaries for what you are willing to do and how you are prepared to be treated. Here's how to tell if you need to get better at setting boundaries: * you are frequently 'dumped in it' last thing on a Friday evening or over a weekend * you are frequently given tasks you are overqualified for * you are constantly ‘on’ - checking your email late into the night and all weekend * you are in a relationship (professional or personal) where you are not treated equally

Knowing how to set boundaries is fundamental to your success and your sanity as a working parent - both at home and in the office. Without them, you will have no control over what you do and how you work, and there is a real risk you'll be taken advantage of. So how do you change this? How do you start being more assertive about what you will or will not do? In a nutshell, here's what you can do: 1. Check your beliefs about saying no - if you avoid saying no because you are worried about damaging your career or your relationship look around you for evidence that this is just a belief, not a fact, and it's a belief that is not serving you. To challenge this belief, consider: who do I know who is assertive and successful? who still managed to get ahead? 2. Have a range of alternative responses you can use when you don't want to say a straight 'yes' or 'no'. Here are three responses that work for me:

the conditional yes
the helpful no
the strategic no

Tune in to the podcast to learn more.

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Will you be working on holiday this year? If so, how do you feel about that? If you're anything like some of my clients, working on a holiday is a real problem. Even though it may be part of the culture of where they work, it still leaves them feeling frustrated, resentful and leaves their loved ones feeling alienated. In this week's podcast, I show you that it doesn't have to be that way. That's because it is not working on holiday per se that is causing your resentment and suffering, it's your negative thoughts about working on holiday. Discover how holding positive beliefs about working on holiday changes everything. Instead of feeling like a victim of an all-consuming job, you can be proactive and take control - managing expectations and setting boundaries before you go away, and ensuring that you are 100% present for your loved ones during the times you are not working.

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This week I’m delighted to share my interview with Janine Esbrand, fellow Coach who has many strings to her bow - she is also a consultant lawyer, podcast host and mum of 2. We talk careers, motherhood, the challenges of having both and the strategies we use to make it work.

Janine’s message to you: It is possible to do work that you enjoy and raise your family at the same time. I have a career kickstart guide that can help you figure out the best next step in your career.

About Janine:

Janine Esbrand, is the founder of LightBOX Coaching, a coaching and consulting company which helps ambitious women thrive in their careers beyond motherhood. Janine provides individual and group coaching services to support women develop in their careers beyond motherhood.

Connect with Janine and find out more about her work:

insta - @careersbeyonmotherhood

twitter @lightboxcoaching@gmail.com

fb - www.lightboxcoaching.com/coachingwithlightbox

The Caroline Flanagan Podcast: Recent Episodes

Caroline Flanagan