Colorinchaos: Recent Episodes
Colorinchaos
No matter who you are, what you believe, or where you live, chaos and difficulty finds us all; however, is there beauty that can be found in the pain? The Colorinchaos Podcast is an honest conversation for those who seek growth through the difficulty and awkwardness of life while not ignoring the pain, uncomfortably, questions, brokenness, restlessness, and the unknown that comes with it.
Episode 160 (03/30/22): “God… please…”
When our heart cries out in desperation, yet is met with what could only be explained as silence, where is God in the messiness of life when we cry out in our lacking to God while everything stays the same…?
Heavy heart, in those moments of our brokenness when God doesn’t FEEL generous, may we lift our eyes to the Suffering Servant like we have never done before.
Music Referenced in Today’s Episode: Ian Yates, “Loved By You” (From The Album: Mystery)
Episode 159 (3/16/22): When the chaos of life feels like a heavy fog…. and the needs within, and the needs around, weigh heavy on you; may we not forget that there is no fog that can completely hide a light. May the ambience produced in the fog capture our attentention in a way that we may have otherwise missed without it. For those who are longing for rest… for home… for peace… this is for you.
Music Featured In Today’s Episode: CityAlight, “Only a Holy God” (From The Album: Only a Holy God)
Episode 158 (3/02/22): Father, we come to You in weakness, recognizing the children that we truly are… Holy Spirit, bring us to a depth of love and obedience to You never experienced before... Jesus, in our questions, hurts, and fears, may we feel the depth of our true need for You and Your love for us regardless of our weakness and wars… help us. In Your Name we pray and surrender, amen.
Video Excerpts: The Wade-O Radio Video Channel, Shai Linne Interview (July 17, 2017) https://youtu.be/unTydxd-_Rg
Article Excerpt: ”Wartime Conversions of Ocean Liners”, by Neil Plotnick http://www.nauticalnotebook.com/jun12-wartime-conversions.html
Music referenced in this episode: International House of Prayer Kansas City (IHOPKC) 10:00 AM Friday, February 25, 2022 Worship Leader: Taylor Gastineau https://www.ihopkc.org/prayerroom/#asset/event_site_68FBe1c2dE_8761_6915/auto/true
Episode 157 (2/23/22): There’s a depth to love that can only be understood when we are at our lowest. Despite the dark nights our feet may wander through… or the terror of the open seas that we find ourselves lost in… or the haunting voices and sirens of our unrelenting regrets and shames… heavy heart, may we rest easy knowing this truth:
Even at our lowest... we are loved MORE than we can fathom.
You are not a lost cause.
Music Featured In Today’s Episode: Sam Ock, “The Best” (From The Album: Style Book)
Episode 156 (2/9/22):
Feeling overwhelmed? Feeling weak? No matter where today finds you, heavy heart, our wounds and weaknesses point toward something greater.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Media Referenced In Today’s Episode: Provoke & Inspire Podcast: Episode 417
International House of Prayer Kansas City (IHOPKC) 4:00 PM Tuesday, February 08, 2022 Worship Leader: Jeremy Whitaker
Episode 155 (1/27/22): "... And when He took the scroll, the four living beings and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp, and they held gold bowls filled with incense, which are the prayers of God’s people. And they sang a new song..."- Revelation 5: 8-9
No matter where today finds you, may everyday we sing a new song.
To those who read this, you truly are so, so loved... May we never fail to see our lives as the precious gifts that they are.
Music Featured In Today’s Episode: Jeremy Camp, “Let It Fade” (From The Album: Beyond Measure)
Episode 154 (1/19/22): There’s something about water.
From the dependence that each of us have to it, to the peace and solace that it provides… each and every one of us can not go long without it. Continuing from Episode 152, join us as we look at Ezekiel’s vision found in Ezekiel 47 of a river unlike any other, and the abundant source of that river that we are more dependent on than we tend to realize.
For those who long for a joy and peace beyond our chaos… may these longings lead us to the Well that never runs dry.
Clips referenced in today’s episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6OFPRw2XKw
Music featured in today’s episode: NEEDTOBREATHE, “Something Beautiful” (From the album: The Outsiders)
Episode 153 (1/12/22): Regardless of our upbringing, there was someone in our lives who clothed and fed us when we were not able to. From the fragility and dependence that a child naturally has for their caretaker or parent… to the prideful refusal of the same Creator, Savior, and Sustainer who has been involved in every aspect of this fragile life that we call our own... it’s mind boggling how quickly we can forget where we come from.
When the chaos of life reminds us how small we really are… and when our circumstances tempt us to believe that our God is even smaller… heavy heart, though we are small, our God is not… you are not abandoned... and you are loved so much more than we could ever fathom. May the words of today’s episode wash over… and through us, today.
Music referenced in this episode: Andrew Osenga, "Swing Wide the Glimmering Gates" (From the album: Choosing Sides)
Episode 152 (1/05/22): There are times in our lives when we long for, more than anything, to run away from the messiness of our overwhelmed emotions and thoughts... and we long to get away… get alone… and to find distance from the noise and relentlessness of our restlessness. In the moments of life where we long for our fears, questions, and hurts to cease… heavy heart, there is a refuge beyond any person, or place, that this world can offer.
For those who long to run away… may our running lead us to the arms of Jesus, our Sanctuary.
Music referenced in this episode: Cory Asbury, "Faithful Wounds (Spontaneous) [Live]" (From the album: To Love a Fool: A Rooftop Experience [Live])
Episode 151 (12/29/21): At times, surrender and trust can feel as if it is impossible. For some, the new day may great you with warmth and hope… and for others, painful hurts, needs, and questions may weigh heavy on the heart. No matter where the day has greeted you, heavy heart, may we never be afraid to trust and surrender to Jesus, our Wonderful Counselor.
[Recorded live at Lakepointe Church, Shelby Twp. Michigan, December 5th 2021]
Music referenced in this episode: Lincoln Brewster, “Have Your Way” (From the album: Perfect Love)
Episode 150 (12/15/21): When we travel where we have never been before, each and every one of us will find ourselves face to face with fears and anxieties of various kinds. Though there are numerous reminders for us to not fear, and for us to not be anxious, how can we quiet our fears and anxieties that so often speak louder than the Truth? On today’s episode, join as we wash our fears and anxieties in the sobering Truth that our God knows where He is taking us… and from where we are... our anxieties never tell us the Truth.
Heavy heart, our God is faithful. You do not walk alone.
Music referenced in this episode: Cageless Birds & Chris Miller, “Glorious” (From the album: We Rise)
Episode 149 (12/8/21): How do we bring the parts of us that we hide and ignore to the Light? Regardless of where today finds you, heavy heart, our God is stronger than any demon and any lie that we entertain in our weakness. As we continue the discussion from Episode 148, may we never forget this simple truth: Jesus is greater than any darkness that we face.
Music referenced in this episode: Bebo Norman, “Great Light of the World” (From the album: Myself When I Am Real)
Episode 148 (12/1/21): On November 30th, 2021, a 15 year old student opened fire upon his classmates and teachers at nearby Oxford High School. In the aftermath and tunnel vision of our grief, pain, mourning, questions, fears, hurt, and anger… when dark thoughts come into our mind from the brokenness within and around us… heavy heart, we are so much more than just another pawn for darkness when we find ourselves spinning endlessly from our helplessness and hopelessness. Every tragedy reminds us that brokenness is real.
No matter where today finds you, may Truth pierce through the lies that brokenness spreads today. This chaos does NOT have to have the final word!
Music referenced in this episode: Jenny & Tyler, “Kingdom of Heaven” (From the album: Open Your Doors)
Episode 147 (11/17/21): No matter who you are, there is nothing that can prepare you for the death of a loved one. Born in Kharkov, Ukraine, Bradley Michael Hawkins was adopted at 15 months old by his parents Sharon and Scott Hawkins. 21 years later, Bradley’s life was cut short by a tragic skateboarding accident.
No matter where today finds you, may Bradley’s life story of struggle, hope, and victory remind you how loved you are EVEN WHEN brokenness surrounds you and your heart feels shattered into a million pieces.
Heavy heart, this life is a vapor… and you loved more than you could ever know.
Recorded on November 14-15th, 2021
Episode 146 (11/10/21): So much of our life is spent searching for worth and value. In the moments where we feel stepped over, stepped on, or overlooked; heavy heart, rest easy… you are worth so much more than you may feel and the value of your life is so much more than what you can see right now.
Heavy heart, even at your worst, you are not loose change. You are not loose change.
Music referenced in this episode: Jon Foreman, “Ghost Machine” (From the album: The Wonderlands: Shadows)
Episode 145 (10/27/21): Living in the midst of “The Information Age”, each and every one of us are daily bombarded by overwhelming amounts of information. Though we have more podcasts, songs, movies, potential for relationships, messages, technology, and resources then we could EVER utilize in our short lifetime, there is an intense longing within us for more… something more… someone more to satisfy a hunger that we struggle to understand. At the end of the day, all the information that this world (and the galaxies around us) could hold would still never satisfy the phantom longing for something else… something more.
Heavy heart, information alone can never save us …… There is such a bigger picture than all of this.
Music referenced in this episode: Redeemer Presbyterian Church/Nathan Partain, “Your Beloved Is Ready” (From the album: Redeemer 2014)
Episode 144 (10/20/21): At times, this world can reduce us to feeling so small, so forgotten. In the moments when we see the state of our fragility, regardless of how small we may feel, we have a God who upholds… cares… and sees us no matter how small we may feel that we are.
When your thoughts, emotions, insecurities, and weaknesses make you feel tiny… When you are in awe of the fragility of self and the fragility of life… Heavy heart, the magnitude of life is real, yet our Creator, Savior, and Sustainer is SO MUCH GREATER than we could ever fathom.
OUR GOD IS SO MUCH GREATER THAN WE COULD EVER FATHOM!
Podcast Excerpt From: Mikhaila Peterson The Story of FreedomToons ft. Jordan Peterson MP Podcast #118
Music referenced in this episode: Kristian Stanfill, "Holding My World" (From the album: Mountains Move)
Episode 143 (10/06/21): Pain, difficulty, confusion, and chaos has a way of blinding us from the sobering reality that we are not entitled to anything in this life. When we struggle to see God’s goodness in the midst of all that swirls in our head and heart, may we lean into the chaos seeking sober eyes. May we not miss our Creator, Savior, and Sustainer in the whirlwind of change.… Heavy heart, there is so much more than what our bloodshot eyes see in our limited understanding.
We are entitled to nothing, yet we are loved as Royalty.
Music referenced in this episode: Sam Ock, "This Side of Eternity" (From the album: To Belonging)
Episode 142 (09/22/21): “God, where are You…!? “God, what are You doing…!? “God, why am I going through this…!?”
When life doesn’t seem to make sense… underlying, uncomfortable, questions such as these, will find us all.
On todays episode, join us as we look at three separate stories in the Bible and seek to better understand how each and every day we have an opportunity to take the hand of our Creator, Savior, and Sustainer as He walks us through the chaos and the questions that accompanies it.
Heavy heart, may we lean into today… with every question… every fear… every circumstance… with all that we are. No matter where today finds you, you are right where you need to be, regardless of life’s messes.
Music referenced in this episode: Bethany Barnard [Dillon], "You Are On Our Side" (From the album: Waking Up)
Episode 141 (09/18/21): Growing up, my grandmother used to put together big diners for our big family gatherings. As I look back on these dinners, I remember many, many times, where my dad would PLEED with her that instead of feeling the need to constantly serve, for her to instead just be present with us. Though I remember finding it funny to see her laugh away my father’s requests back then, I find different emotions come to me now.
My grandmother passed away many, many years ago… and what grieves my heart the most, is that even though I remember many of the dinners that we shared as a family…
… I don’t remember much of her.
In the tension of busyness and rest, it’s so hard to know what the greatest need truly is. In a life where we long for and resent both, join us as we look at Jesus’ interaction with two sisters in Luke 10. Join us as we strive to understand how to navigate both the busyness, and the rest, that every day can bring…
Heavy heart, you are not alone. You are NOT alone.
Music referenced in this episode: Audrey Assad, "Lament" (From the album: Heart)
Episode 140 (09/08/21): Each breath is a fragile gift… yet so much of my time is spent fantasizing about the future that does not exist. When anxieties run wild, and emotions and expectations fail us, a sobering reality looms over us...
On the day that we breathe our last, nothing else will matter but Jesus.
Heavy heart, what we begin in the soil of our surrender, our God is faithful to grow…
What we begin in the soil of our surrender, our God is faithful to grow.
Music referenced in this episode: Switchfoot, "Live It Well (Live)" (From the album: Where The Light Shines Through)
Episode 139 (09/01/21): Each day that we are alive, countless opportunities to be present, disengaged, or lost in the countless notes of emotions in between, will find us. In the moments where it is so easy to get lost in what awaits tomorrow, what has occurred yesterday, and that which we can not control, join us as we look at the Hope that greets us, today… even when present circumstances may threaten to overwhelm and overcome us from the inside, out.
Heavy heart, there is more than what we can see, and feel, today.
Your life is a song, and today is the canvas.
Link referenced in episode: https://www.colorinchaos.com/promises
Music referenced in this episode: Elevation Worship, "Greater (Studio Version)" (From the album: Nothing Is Wasted)
Episode 138 (08/25/21): I recently had a dream, where the most beautiful of skies turned into a sky full of fire and terror.
I don’t know why that as quick as a snap of a finger, we can go from being FULL of hope, joy, purpose, identity, confidence and strength... to EVERY color in our life fading, failing, and morphing into confusion, pain, and at times complete terror.
Regardless if we find ourselves on the sands of Afghanistan, the hills of California, or bedridden in sickness; When our mental health fails… When our emotions complicate… When our logic flees… When we find ourselves abandoned in a strange land; WHAT can we cling to when clichés and crutches no longer hold us together…?
Heavy heart, when these chaos comes, this is not the end.
THIS IS NOT THE END!
Podcast referenced in this episode: Jennie Allen, “Made For This” What's Happening in Afghanistan? Stories from Believers on the Ground with Jennie and Pastor X https://www.jennieallen.com/podcast
Music referenced in this episode: Andrew Osenga, "Early in the Morning" (From the album: The Morning)
Episode 137 (08/18/21): For every heavy heart. For those who feel overwhelmed by darkness. For those who need a reminder that you are NOT alone. For those who are struggling to see the Lord’s faithfulness in the midst of darkness. May this episode meet you wherever today finds you.
There is a Vineyard. There is a Vineyard!
Music referenced in this episode: Andy Gullahorn, "Burning Bushes" (From the album: Room to Breathe)
Episode 136 (07/07/21): When war is all you’ve known, it’s hard to understand what freedom is. When we struggle, fight, and war against ourselves/others… does it mean that we are not free…? Join us as we seek to find what the Bible teaches about the freedom that each of us deeply long for and crave.
Heavy heart, You are NOT alone. May we bring all our burdens, knowing… There truly is freedom to be found, today.
Recorded July 4th, 2021 Lakepointe Church, Shelby Twp. MI
Episode 135 (06/28/21): In a world of celebrities, and pedestals, we often hide away our messes; Yet through it all, every mess highlights something so much greater than ourselves…
Heavy heart, the shadow proves the sunshine. May this episode meet to you wherever you are...
Music referenced in this episode: Dante Bowe, "all god’s children" (From the album: circles)
Episode 134 (06/16/21): Heavy heart, depression will NOT have the final word.
The influence of Dr. Terry Powell in my life can not be stressed enough. I met Dr. Powell during my years of undergrad at Columbia International University, and I can say with confidence that he's had one of the biggest impacts not only in my life as a follower of Christ, and a lover of people, but has also impacted countless others through his 38+ years of faithfully pointing others to Christ despite his open battle with major clinical depression that he has known since childhood. Dr. Powell describes himself as "a fragile, desperate, bloodied soldier of Christ who marches with a limp”, and this statement truly is an understatement….
This episode is for all who recognize that they are weak, yet still cries out for more. Honestly, this episode is for everyone…
every… single… person.
Dr. Powell, your ongoing journey in vulnerability, compassion, and hunger for knowing Jesus more encourages and influences my own journey in more ways than I can express. To those who will watch or listen to this episode, may this conversation minister to you regardless of where today finds you.
Heavy heart, you are not forgotten ... … There is a Life that outlasts the lies.
To learn more about Dr. Terry Powell, feel free to check out his website below: https://www.penetratingthedarkness.com
Music referenced in this episode: My Epic, "So Be It" (From the album: Ultraviolet)
Episode 133 (06/09/21): "So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.” - Jesus (John 8:36)
Quotes such as this sounds nice, but where is freedom in the constant moments where our brokenness finds us day after day? On today’s episode, join us as we continue from Epsiode 132 and ask ourselves, what does it mean to be a child of the God of the Universe?
At the end of the day, Jesus, there is no one that wants to make things right more than You...
May we, Your children, experience the Freedom that we long and thirst for.
Podcast Excerpt: https://www.anniefdowns.com/podcast/episode-286-francis-chan/ Host: Annie F. Downs / Francis Chan Podcast: That Sounds Fun Episode 286: Francis Chan
Music referenced in this episode: Onething Live / Jon Thurlow, "Shout Your Name (Live)" (From the album: Best of Onething (Live))
Episode 132 (06/09/21): June 2011, on the floor of my bedroom, my life changed forever.
10 years later? I’m just as overwhelmed and overcome as in that moment.
Heavy heart, Jesus is so much more than what we can wrap our heads around….
This how I met Jesus.
Music referenced in this episode: The Glorious Unseen, "Forever Holy" (From the album: Tonight The Stars Speak)
The Glorious Unseen, "Awakening" (From the album: The Hope That Lies In You)
Episode 131 (05/26/21): When we don’t know what’s going on… When our emotions and thoughts are deceptive… When our senses fail us… When we feel at the end of our rope…
All feelings are valid, yet feelings are temporary. And at the end of the day… our emotions are just sensory.
Heavy heart, there is a Truth that goes beyond our senses.
Music referenced in this episode: Andrew Peterson, "Shine Your Light On Me" (From the album: Light for the Lost Boy)
Episode 130 (05/19/21): Words can’t express how much social media has changed the way we live our lives. In our attempts to express ourselves, often we take on the role of the “director” of the narrative of our life… cropping and editing each moment so that it aligns with what we desire our lives to look like. At the end of the day, is there a greater purpose & importance to the moments of life that we may deem unsharable?
Heavy heart, every moment matters… even those that we hide away and refuse to show.
Music referenced in this episode: Angels & Airwaves, "A Little’s Enough" (From the album: We Don’t Need To Whisper)
Jeremy Camp, "Healing Hand Of God" (From the album: Speaking Louder Than Before)
Episode 129 (05/12/21): For those who desire to look past themselves, in order to see the true freedom that is longed for...
Music referenced in this episode: Josh Gauton, "Time’s Not Wasted" (From the album: O Peace)
Episode 128 (05/05/21): Regardless of where today finds you, each and every one of us will go through the different seasons of life aware/unaware… prepared/unprepared… rejoicing/lamenting. In the moments where we feel insufficient to address the changes that life brings, is there anything consistent to be found?
Heavy heart, in every season, in every change, in every transition, there is an Anchor that still holds… May we find a strength beyond our own.
Music referenced in this episode: Audrey Assad / LEVV, "Dream" (From the album: Arrow EP)
Episode 127 (04/28/21): Sometimes the book of Revelation can be so overwhelming that it is avoided; however, there is so much in what John writes in the book of Revelation that brings clarity to our day to day life in light of eternity.
Back in 2013, I heard sermon by the pastor Judah Smith entitled “Keep It Clear”. As of 2021, I can not find this sermon anywhere on the internet… yet thankfully, one of my old iPods preserved the audio to this message which quickly became one of the most impactful sermons I've ever heard in my life. May this message grip your heart as it did mine those many years ago.
Jesus. In the chaos and confusion, help us keep it clear...
Music referenced in this episode: One Sonic Society, "Burn" (From the album: Forever Reign)
Episode 126 (04/31/21): “We can be a good person and still be outside of what God wants us to do.” - Karen Blanchard
In John 10:10, Jesus speaks about the abundant life that only be found in Him… yet so often it can feel like there is a disconnect between the promises of Scripture, and the reality of our lives. Is there more to following Jesus than what may feel like an endless wrestle with behavioral modification and a lack of intimacy between us and our Creator, Savior, and Sustainer?
No matter who you are, if you desire love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, or faithfulness, and are tired of striving… and striving… and striving… this episode is for you.
Heavy heart, you are NOT alone... ... Holy Spirit, help us not fight You.
Music referenced in this episode: Starfield, "Over My Head" (From the album: Starfield)
Episode 125 (03/31/21): Heavy heart, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! You were made for so much MORE then all of this...
Music referenced in this episode: Hillsong Worship, "Beautiful Exchange" (From the album: A Beautiful Exchange)
Episode 124 (03/24/21): Each day greets us with various needs, longings and anxieties that will find us no matter where we are. When we are so desperate for a solution to the many needs, longings and anxieties that weigh heavy on our heart and mind… we can often fail to see the things that really matter and where our provision is found.
Heavy heart, our need point towards a King and a Kingdom beyond our own…
Your needs are seen. Your needs matter.
May our desperation lift our hands to something so much greater…
Someone so much stronger than all of this.
Music referenced in this episode: Jon Foreman, "Your Love Is Strong" (From the album: Limbs & Branches)
Episode 123 (03/17/21):
“What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”- James 4:14
Time is deceptive… for it’s so easy to believe that we have plenty of it, until we don’t. No matter who we are, or what we do, death will catch up to us all… however, is there a way to truly make the most out of the time that has been gifted to us? Is there more to life than chasing pleasures or the fleeting trappings of success, fame, wealth, or accomplishments?
Heavy heart, there is so much more than this. Every breath is a gift…. Every breath is a chance.
Your life is worth so much more than you can fathom.
Video Excerpts: The Wade-O Radio Video Channel, Shai Linne Interview (July 17, 2017) YouTube: https://youtu.be/unTydxd-_Rg
Music referenced in this episode: Shai Linne, "One Day" (From the album: Still Jesus)
Episode 122 (03/10/21): Each day, we encounter hurt, heartbreaks, insecurities, and fears… In our fear? We fight. In the fight? We doubt. In our doubt? We run.
We all long to have a confidence that our days & pursuits are not in vain. May we not run away from our Creator, Savior, and Sustainer… Heavy heart, may we not settle for less than complete confidence in the One who holds all of our days, and all of our tomorrows.
There is so much more than all of this.
Video Excerpts: Christine Cain, Francis Chan (IF:Gathering Conference 2021)
Max Krinitsyn, “Hiking to Conundrum Hot Springs HD” https://youtu.be/nY8yzTXO710
Music referenced in this episode: Urban Rescue, “Take Me Back” (From the album: Listen Empty)
Episode 121 (03/03/21): As humans, we struggle with change... and often, we spend our days trying to relive our yesterdays or fantasizing over what changes tomorrow may bring. When we find ourselves stuck between the days gone by, and what lies over the horizon of our tomorrows, how can we be present and embrace everything that today brings..?
Heavy heart, we can’t sing a new song if we are holding onto old notes… May we be present, here, now knowing that our God is present, here, now.
Music referenced in this episode: Switchfoot, “Souvenirs” (From the album: Vice Verses)
Episode 120 (02/24/21): The Summer of 2014 found my head leaned up against a trash can, completely at a lost for words. In the moments where the plans that we once held so tightly blows away with the wind… when we find ourselves exhausted & numb… in the moments where confusion & brokenness overwhelms our heart & mind and we don’t know where to go… where is God?
Heavy heart, there is a kindness present in our confusion & brokenness.
Music referenced in this episode: Jason Gray, “Jesus, Use Me, I’m Yours” (From the album: Everything Sad Is Coming Untrue)
Episode 119 (02/17/2021): Have you ever felt as if you were in a funk? In the moments and seasons where we find ourselves overwhelmed and overcome; our loneliness, longings, and lies can begin to become the loudest voices in the private chamber of our heart and mind. Where do we go when we don’t know where to go? Where can we go to find the rest that our souls long for? In today’s episode, join us as we address the desire for more than our loneliness, longings, and lies.
Heavy heart, there is a rest… and it is not found where we lay our heads.
Music referenced in this episode: Jon Foreman, “Red And Gold” (From the album: Departures)
Episode 118 (02/10/2021): All of us have had times in our lives where we have felt lost reading the Bible, times where we felt lost sitting in church, and moments where we question the relevancy of Jesus concerning our lives today. We all have times where we feel as if we going through the motions of religion and discipline while others seem to have a passion and a zeal... yet through all of the confusion, through all of the questions, how can we overcome the mundane that we often may feel? Join us as we look at the question that all of us at times will ask:
"Why can't I see what others see?"
Music referenced in this episode: Bebo Norman, “Ruins” (From the album: Bebo Norman)
For more information on Barn45, please visit: https://www.barn45.org
Episode 117 (02/03/21): Have you ever felt as if there was a dark cloud of hurt, doubt, questions, and confusion that hangs over your heart and mind? In the moments where it’s difficult to “snap out of it”, can we be honest to the Lord with the overwhelming pain that feels like it can swallow us whole? When we feel like senseless animals… there is a beautiful, sobering, truth that shines through even the darkest of nights. Join us as we look at the sobering honesty found in Psalms 73.
Heavy hearts… despite what the dark clouds of thoughts and emotions may be whispering to you, there is freedom, a sobriety, to be found. You are not alone.
Episode 116 (01/27/21): Church. This one word can bring so many thoughts, emotions, and memories to our mind; however, what is the church and why does it matter? In today’s episode, join us as we look at the unity that can be found despite our age, flag, background, job, social class, baggage, and gender. In these times of division, we have an opportunity to rally around more than what we so can so often settle for…
Heavy heart, we are truly in this together.
Episode 115 (01/20/21): Heavy heart, there is a strength to be found in weakness.
There is a strength to be found in weakness.
Music referenced in this episode: Blue October, “Only Lost Is Found” (From the album: This Is What I Live For)
Episode 114 (01/13/21): No matter who we are, all of us will have moments in our lives where we feel abandoned... when the beautiful sunsets of life give way to harshest of nights.
When our world crashes down around our feet, and our dreams & hopes feel distant, have we been abandoned? Whether we keep our questions close to our hearts, or we shout our doubts from the rooftops, the cruelty of life can sometimes cast a shadow on what we once felt so confident of. Is there a light to be found in the dark?
… Heavy heart, our emotions do not tell us the truth.
Music referenced in this episode: Hillsong United, “All I Need Is You” (From the album: Look To You)
Episode 113 (12/28/20): In Psalm 18, David writes of how the Lord has made his feet “as surefooted as a deer”, yet if I’m being honest, I know that I often do not feel as surefooted as a deer on this mountain of life… and I’m sure I’m not the only one.
As we stand together at the end of a year that has been one for the history books of our hearts, join us as we reflect on that which we’ve attempted to climb, are climbing, and the mountains that we are being prepared for. Heavy heart, no matter where today finds you, you are NOT alone.
(Music In Today's Episode: Arrows To Athens, "Dust and Gold")
Episode 112 (12/16/20): There are certain individuals in our lives whose presence brings peace and perspective, and to me, Jason Fullum is one of those rare gifts. Growing up in Detroit as a kid, all that Jason ever wanted was a true friend and the certainty that everything would be okay. Today, Jason has devoted his life to be that friend to the young and old, while sharing the hope that he once thought was only found in comic books. In today’s conversation, join us as we talk about the unpredictable journey of finding hope, purpose, and patience through the many afflictions and affections that this journey of life may bring.
Regardless of where today finds you… regardless of the disappointments & wounds that yesterday has brought… through every high and low of life… you are not alone.
Rest Easy My Child... You're Going To Be Okay.
Episode 111 (12/09/20): In each and every breath, we all hold longings near to our heart. From the longings for restoration, longings for fulfillment, and longings to escape the frailty & insecurities of life, in every heartbeat… in every sigh that life brings… our hearts cry out for more. In today’s episode, join us as we discuss examples of redemption, deceptions, and the frailty of life. Through beauty and weakness, there is more to life than longings & rust.
Heavy heart, regardless of where today may find you, you are not alone.
Music Featured in Today's Episode: "Concrete (Acoustic)", Fresh Life Worship
Episode 109 (11/11/20): “… Jesus then said the leading priests and elders, “I tell you the truth, corrupt tax collectors and prostitutes will get into the Kingdom of God before you do.” - Matthew 21:31 (NLT)
What is it about corrupt tax collectors and prostitutes that makes this true? How does this passage apply to each of us REGARDLESS of the chaos?
Heavy heart, you are not alone. There is a beauty that will find you in the ditches of life.
(Music in Episode: Courrier, "Cathedrals of Color")
Episode 108 (11/3/20):
For those who grieve at the brokenness outside and within…
For those who are exhausted…
For those who long for more than all of THIS…
THERE IS!
(Music in Episode: Sarah Kroger, "Monument"; From the Album: "Light")
Episode 107 (10/28/20): "Pray for us, for our conscience is clear and we want to live honorably in everything we do." - Hebrews 13:18 (NLT)
We all crave genuineness and transparency in others; however, being vulnerable can often feel like a terrifying mistake personally. Continuing from the topic of surrender found in Episode 106, join us as we look at the freedom and life that comes through not only seeking transparency between ourselves and our fellow man, but also the blessing that comes with vulnerability and obedience toward our Creator, Savior, and Sustainer.
Episode 106 (10/21/20): We all live in a world where there is a pressure to “have all the answers”… a world where vulnerability and surrender is a weakness… yet at the end of the day, we all crave more than what we know our hands can offer. For Karen Blanchard, this craving for more led to the end of herself, and the beginning of a journey seeking the heart of surrender. There are many labels that could be attached to Karen Blanchard, from being a pastor’s wife to being a mentor & leader; however, beyond all of the labels, Karen is a woman who is on a journey to discover more of the Father’s heart through being vulnerable concerning the messiness of life, and the Grace of the Giver. No matter where you are, what you’ve done, and how today may find you- there is a freedom found in vulnerability and surrender.
Heavy heart, you are not alone... may we lift our hands and lift our hearts in vulnerability and surrender as the children we are. Join us for a genuine conversation about the messiness of life and the faithfulness of our God.
[Music shared in this episode: Christy Nockels, "Choose"]
Episode 105 (10/14/20): “Basically, I'm for anything that gets you through the night - be it prayer, tranquilizers or a bottle of Jack Daniels.” -Frank Sinatra
When the chaos of life overwhelms and threatens to overcome us, it doesn’t take long to begin to recognize the many voices and vices that promise to "get us through the night”; however, is there a better way to make it through the pain and chaos of life? Looking at Acts 3, join us as we examine the Grace of God that can refresh even the faintest of colors and heaviest of hearts.
Episode 104 (10/7/20): As the seasons change around us, we are reminded that we are changing as well. In the awkwardness that each change brings, it doesn’t take long before we begin to crave some type of consistency in a world that is constantly changing. Is there a consistency to be found in the constant changes of life? Continuing from Episode 64, join us as we vulnerably address our longing for more than simply limping through life's constant changes … As the seasons change, may we change as well.
Music shared in this episode: Jason Gray, "Becoming"
Episode 103 (09/30/20): This life is messy. The longer that one breathes, the longer one has to realize that even the best intentions can lead to the crutches of people, places, things, and situations that promise to take the “edge” off… but end up adding even more weight to an already weighted down soul.
When we find ourselves overwhelmed and overcome, heavy heart, you are not alone. At the end of the day, the crutches were never able to bear our weight. There is hope. There is a light that still shines.
Music shared in this episode: Trading Yesterday, "Shattered" (Album: "More Than This")
Episode 102 (09/23/20): Have you ever felt emotionally distant from a loved one? Sometimes this distance can be traced back to an isolated moment; however, sometimes the distance that is felt can last days, months, or even years. When it’s hard enough to deal with the distance between other people, how do we deal with the distance that we at times feel between us and our Creator? Is there a hope to cling onto through the distance that at times can feel beyond reconcilable?
In this week’s episode, join us as we look at Jesus’ interaction between 10 outcasts as we seek to find an answer to these questions that distance brings to us all. Heavy heart, there is no far away.
Episode 101 (09/09/20): Curious of the stories & struggles that went into the 100 episodes of The Colorinchaos Podcast? In this episode, we continue with Part-2 of Hallways & Doors by going through each and every episode and taking a moment to look at the process of growing in vulnerability, humility, and surrendering the weaknesses that comes with learning the blessings of obedience.
EPISODE 100! (09/09/20): Is our God faithful to equip us for what He calls us to? Over the span of 2 years & 100 episodes of this podcast, I'm overwhelmingly reminded that the answer is YES! Join me in this two-part 100th Episode celebration, as we talk through the origins of The Colorinchaos Podcast, the fears, insecurities, joys & hardships that came with such a task, and the faithfulness of our God to walk us all through each and every hallway & door of this life.
When we are weak, our God is strong.
When we are unable, our God is able.
When we waste what we’ve been given, our God is faithful to pursue and replenish.
When our love is shallow, our God’s love overcomes.
Heavy heart, You are NOT alone.
Episode 99 (08/26/20): As the disciples of Jesus felt as if they were fastly approaching death in the middle of a turbulent sea, we find Jesus fast asleep through the chaos and darkness of the stormy night. In the darkness of what feels like the stormy night of present-day, you may feel as if God has fallen asleep to the cries and pleads surrounding & within you. In this chaos, is there a light that still shines even through THIS storm?
Heavy heart, though the darkness is overwhelming, there is a Light that still shines.
Episode 98 (08/19/20): Regardless of who you are, we all have fears. For me? Not only do I have a fear of needles, but I have a fear of passing out from the anxiety that they bring. This last Saturday, not only was I required to receive an IV before surgery, I found myself in a situation where what I feared the most began to happen after receiving it. As I began to lose consciousness and the nurses rushed in, I found myself in a situation where my eyes were closed - yet my heart was opened to a deeper truth that was at work around me.
No matter where today finds you, this episode is for you.
Music referenced in this episode: OneEleven Music / Olivia Buckles, “Lord You Know All Things” (Taken from the album: "Worth It All: Live From Amsterdam")
Episode 97 (08/13/20): As quickly as it takes for a bone to break, each and every day brings an opportunity for even the best-laid plans in our lives to turn completely upside down. Is there a color in the chaos when the chaos seems to destroy everything we once planned? Where is God when we go through seasons of detours & suffering in this life?
Heavy heart, though our hearts and bodies may be limping… there is color even when we find ourselves traveling through detours that we never would have chosen to journey through on our own.
Song referenced in this episode: Switchfoot, “Where I Belong”, (From the Album: Vise Verses)
Episode 96 (08/05/20): In the present day, we are all subject to intense comparison. From social media to culture in general, we live in a world of platforms, podiums, stages, and spotlights all centered around constantly parading those with the crippling pressure of either having “it” or not. In this world of comparison, where can we breathe? Who are we in the aftermath of pressure to perform day-to-day? Looking at John 1:15, join us as we look at one sentence given to a father concerning his one day son which shines a spotlight on how our Creator, Savior, and Sustainer sees us even before we were conceived.
Episode 95 (07/29/20): No matter what type of night’s sleep we had previously, when we awake, our eyes need time to adjust to the light of day that greats us all. Though our eyes eventually adjust to the tension that the morning light brings, what about the tensions that we face in our lives that our hearts struggle to overcome and adjust to? Join us as we lean into the human fascination with darkness/light, good/evil, and surrender/control as we look at Jesus' words found in John 8. No matter where today finds you, you are NOT alone.
Episode 94 (07/22/20): A one-sentence summary of this episode: Part geek out concerning the music industry, and part conversation about the messiness of faith, belief, and the hope that remains regardless of the dust of our questions and mess-ups.
It’s interesting, there’s something about music that transcends beliefs, cultures, wounds, and experiences. In this week’s episode, join us as we not only dive into the messiness and frustrations concerning the music industry, but also the tensions within theology and faith. Join us as we have an honest conversation concerning the importance of being challenged while also examining the label of what makes something/someone “Christian” with this week’s guest, David, from the music review website, Jesus Freak Hideout.
A native to the Pacific Northwest, David has long held a passion for quality rock music. He holds MA and BS degrees in missiology and theology, respectively, and since 2013, has written for Jesus Freak Hideout, an online Christian music magazine. He currently resides in Seattle with his family where he exposes his headbanging toddler to Falling Up, Wolves at the Gate, and other quality jams.
Episode 93 (07/15/20): Overwhelmed…? You are not alone. We all search for a sobering deliverance from the emotions, thoughts, and confusions that weigh heavy on us in this season of unknown. Continuing from Episode 81, join us as we look at the idea of sobriety and deliverance from the emotions and thoughts that overwhelm us all. When every day seems to be another reminder of just how weak we are, the weakness is an opportunity for the light of our Creator, Savior, and Sustainer to shine through the wound that we so often try to hide.
Music referenced in this episode: Newsboys, “Lord (I Don’t Know)” (Taken from the album: Thrive)
Episode 92 (07/08/20): In the movie Star Wars, Obi-Wan famously states to his approaching enemies: "these are not the droids you are looking for". Even though this catchphrase is often used to comically state that something is not representing what it may "appear" to represent, at the end of the day, we all struggle with looking at other people, objects, and situations to fulfill and satisfy what can only be found in our Savior alone. Join us as we have a human conversation - full of acknowledgment of weaknesses and a desire for growth and beauty to come from our chaos. Our weaknesses remind us that we are human.
Episode 91 (07/01/20): What does a small fish stuck between a water drainage pipe and a river have to do with our hearts? No matter who you are, each day can bring the temptation for us to settle for where we are instead of striving for the abundant waters that we all crave. We all will feel “stuck” at one point or another … yet through it all, there is a HOPE that can be found even in the most unexpected moments of chaos and pain.
Heavy heart, you are NOT alone.
Episode 90 (06/24/20): In this season that we find ourselves in, it doesn’t take much to recognize our weakness. For many, repentance can often feel like a dirty word; however, it’s important to note that without repentance, we can never experience the revival that all of our being longs for. Heavy heart, even in this chaos, there is a Hope beyond the smoke & mirrors of this season which surrounds us all …
Referenced in this episode: Churchome, Judah Smith - “At The Well Again: Repentance” YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTW0IRffKJg
Collin Hansen, “A God-Sized Vision: Revival Stories that Stretch and Stir” Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/God-Sized-Vision-Revival-Stories-Stretch
Episode 89 (06/17/20): There is such a long journey from the head to the heart… and sometimes in that journey, we can become so focused on the future that we forget about the blessing that today truly is. Today holds so much potential, yet with distracted hearts and minds, we often fail to take hold of all that our Creator, Savior, and Sustainer invite us to. Join us as we accept the invitation to fully embrace all that our God desires to do in our hearts and lives, today. At the end of the day, we may not know everything… but our hearts are still beating for a reason.
Music referenced in this episode: Robbie Seay Band, “Go Outside”
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Go-Outside/dp/B000VIGX3E Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/0PQwBpzRSV5Mtk2wcNvAd0?si=sq3fFXEOTnCrSZh4CwA75A Apple: https://music.apple.com/us/album/go-outside/716712683?i=716712945
Episode 88 (06/10/20): We have a God who molds what we surrender into a reminder of His abundance.
I often hear people describe me as passionate. What blows my mind about this description, however, is that growing up I never would have used this word to describe me... that is until the night of June 6th, 2011. After recording 88 episodes, any passion for Jesus that you may hear in me can be traced back to this specific night 9 years ago. No matter what you may feel that you lack today, join us as we not only talk the night my heart was set on fire for passion towards Jesus, but how our God is ready to take you deeper today as well.
Episode 87 (06/03/20): “… Blindspots, everyone has them. Some of us don’t know the four walls that we’ve been trapped in...” - Caleb McCoy, “Blindspots”
If there is anything that has been on full display this year, it is the reality that this world is broken. From a global pandemic to the murders of George Floyd & Ahmaud Arbery, brokenness has found us all. Is there a color to be found in THIS chaos? Is there any true hope for change concerning the broken systems that we all are victim to around us? On this week’s episode, join us as we will discuss Jesus, broken systems, and the humility that we all desperately need. Heavy heart, you are not alone.
Music referenced in this episode: Caleb McCoy, “Blindspots” (Taken from the album: The Oak Season 3)
To connect with Caleb McCoy, you may do so on the following platforms: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/oakboymccoy/ Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/caleb-mccoy/1032533646 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/2iPpUS5kjjfalhlrsT9Fsi?si=dA2K78_VTheOv2y10RXG4A Instagram: @oakboymccoy
Episode 86 (05/27/20): No matter who you are, we all have longings in our hearts. Whether you long for healing from an illness, love and relationship, forgiveness and restoration, economic provision, or you simply long to feel fulfilled - our longings can often feel overwhelming. When our longings become threatened by pain and confusion, does God care? Join us as we look at our longings through the lens of 1 Peter 1-2 and seek to find fulfillment for these longings in the midst of the chaos of life.
Episode 85 (05/20/20): Has your heart ever been broken to the point where words fail you? From the murder of Ahmaud Arbery, to the current global pandemic; in the seasons where the brokenness seems to be winning, does our God care? No matter where today finds you, join us as we seek answers in the brokenness together. Heavy heart, you are NOT alone.
Music referenced in this episode:The Glorious Unseen, “Make All Things New” (Taken from the album: Make All Things New EP)
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thegloriousunseen/ Apple Music: “Make All Things New” Spotify: “Make All Things New” Instagram: @thegloriousunseen
Episode 84 (05/06/20): No matter who you are, we all go through situations and circumstances where we NEVER would have imagined that we would be walking through. In the processes of life where we feel overwhelmed and overcome… when you feel under attack… when you feel as if you are an afterthought, are we left to just figure it all out on our own? Heavy heart, you are NOT an afterthought. Join us as we have a conversation about the difficult processes of life where we wish that we could just press the skip button.
Episode 83 (04/29/20): "What is it that I truly believe?" No matter who you are, we will all have a moment in our lives where this question no longer is in the background of our thoughts, but comes to the forefront of our minds. When we can no longer ignore the questions that rage, how do we respond? For Todd Vick, this question put him on a journey of renewal, rediscovery, and rebuilding. Many know Todd as an author, pastor, and former professor... I know Todd as a friend and the first person that I worked alongside in the ministry. No matter where your questions find you today, there is more. Join us as we share a conversation about the Grace that can be found in our questioning, searching, and the Light that finds us in the dark.
To follow Todd Vick's journey, free free to check out his book, "The Renewing of Your Mind: Asking Modern Questions" and his podcast, "The Reconstruction Rebel Podcast":
Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/Renewing-Your-Mind-Questions-Ancient-ebook/dp/B07YF7XRHH/
Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/Renewing-Your-Mind-Questions-Ancient/dp/1075990262/
The Reconstruction Rebel Podcast: https://thereconreb.podbean.com
Episode 82 (04/22/20): At the end of the day, it takes more than just a presence of a seed for a plant to grow. Growth is a process. When what "was" must make way for what "is", how do we let go? Heavy heart, regardless of where today finds you, growth is not an abstract dream… instead, the abundance that you long for is available right now. Join us as we look at seeds, soil, sunlight, and take hold of the abundant life that our hearts long for and crave.
Episode 81 (04/15/20): Ever feel as if you are living on auto-pilot…? As if there is something holding you down or back from your full potential? No matter who you are, we all have days and seasons where we feel sluggish… trapped in a funk that requires someone besides yourself to lift you out of the pit of entrapment that even the best fall into. When we feel as if the days of our lives are flying by, and the energy we once had yesterday is no longer present today, sobriety is just a moment of acknowledgment and surrender away. Join us as we search for that sobering deliverance together. Heavy heart, you are not alone.
Music referenced in this episode:
Caleb McCoy, “Vacation” (Album: The Oak Season 3)
Episode 80 (04/08/20): Our human heart constantly dances between extremes. From our emotions to our thoughts, in the highs and lows of life, is it possible to guard our heart even when the comforts that we rely on is taken away? As we walk through the extremes of this year’s Easter week, may we pause to examine our own heart and strive to understand what guarding our fragile, and precious, hearts look like.
Episode 78 (03/25/20): Inconveniences are uncomfortable no matter who you are; however, could the same curveballs that bring us deep grief also serve as an answer to an even deeper cry and prayer of our hearts? In the ruins and aftermath of broken schedules and plans, hopes and dreams, could there be a blessing in this curse and color in this chaos? Heavy heart, you are not alone. May this episode bring freedom in this irrational season that we are all walking through together…
Episode 77 (03/18/20): How should we respond when things in our lives do not go as we had planned? In this globally unknown and intense season, it is natural to feel overwhelmed, frustrated, hurt, or even angry… yet at the end of the day, is there a color even in THIS chaos? Heavy heart, you are NOT alone… we are in this together.
Episode 76 (03/11/20): Have you ever had a moment where you pause and think about all that you’ve had to go through to get to where you are today…? At times we may long for the days of yesterday; however, for many, yesterday may be a haunting reminder of that which burdens and holds one back. No matter where you’ve been, or where you are, we all can relate with the feeling of inadequacy and fear of what is to come. In today’s episode, join us as we look at an often overlooked book of the Bible and a moment where the ruins of what was did not tell the whole truth of what will be… Heavy heart, the ruins may lie- but our God does not.
Episode 75 (03/04/20): Goodness… I struggle to write a summary for this episode. This episode is for those who desire to go deeper… or to begin a genuine relationship with their Creator, Savior, and Sustainer. What are Heaven and Hell like and are they truly real? How do we grow a burden to tell others about Jesus and how can I be passionate and STAY passionate about Jesus? Is there joy to be found for someone like me…? If ANY of this resonates with you… you will not regret taking the time to listen to or watch this episode. Seriously, I struggled cutting anything out on this one. You may laugh, and you may cry… Join us as we have an open and transparent conversation with special guest, Jesse Stirnemann.
Episode 74 (02/26/20): Have you ever had a moment in your life where you feel as if you are walked into “The Twilight Zone”...? A moment where you look at what you are going through/went through and are dumbfounded at what you see- almost as if there’s been some type of “error” in the program of life? When somehow, what you NEVER thought would happen… happens… what do we do? On today’s episode, we talk about the hope that can be found even in the midst of the “errors” of life. Heavy heart, you are not alone.
Episode 73 (02/19/20): “God’s will is what we would choose if we knew all the details”. Throughout our lives, there is so much that threatens to hold us hostage or hold us back from what the Lord has planned; however, how do we discern God’s voice from our own? In this week’s episode, special guest Ken Nether shares from the heart his own journey while also sharing practical advice for our own. Heavy heart, no matter what yesterday, today, or tomorrow brings us through, there is so much more than what we may feel or see.
Episode 72 (02/12/20): No matter who you are, we all battle insecurities; however, why do we often feel alone in the fight? The truth is that our insecurities do not have to have the final word. Even though we lack, join us as we discuss where our flaws can be filled. Heavy heart, you are more than what you lack.
Episode 71 (01/29/20): We spend the entirety of our lives focusing on living, while we try our hardest to cover up the cruel reality of death. Though we know that death is expected… why is it that death never feels right? At the end of the day, does the feeling of emptiness that death brings point us toward something greater? Heavy heart, there truly is more than this hurt & pain… so much more.
Episode 70 (01/22/20): Even as a pastor, there are times where I pray, read the Bible and worship, yet I walk away feeling nothing. In the puzzling times where we try to seek the Lord yet don’t “feel” any different, or we don’t “hear” any response, is there something wrong with us? How long should we pursuit until we give up? Join us as we look at this question and seek an answer together. Heavy hearts, you are not as alone as you may feel.
Episode 69 (01/15/20): Through our brokenness, and through the "missed notes" of life, is there still a beauty to the song that our lives create? Through the murky waters of our often messy lives, is there still a beauty to be found? Join us as we look at ourselves through the perspective of vulnerability and ask the question, “Lord, what do You see?” At the end of the day, we are all that we are.
Episode 68 (1/08/20): Mountains- home to both fierce rapids and comforting cascades. Just like the mountains that stand in awe, we too can house desires for both action yet peace, control yet surrender, movement yet stillness. When our longings are complicated and complex, where do we find peace for our emotions and thoughts? Join us as we search for a raging, yet gentle stream for our heavy and tired soul.
Episode 67 (12/18/19): We all have a desire to be remembered… to leave a mark; however, we often resort to our own understanding and ability to fulfill this desire. How can we outlast what is so temporary? Is it too late to re-examine what we are living for? In this last episode of 2019, join us as we pause… look back… while also looking to this day that we have been given and the potential that it holds regardless of our past.
Episode 66 (12/4/19): Have you ever had a 1% charge left on your cell phone; however, you desperately needed to exchange crucial information in order to avoid being completely lost? For many, life may feel as if there is 1% left of a reason to keep breathing. In the moments when we feel as if we are hanging onto our lives by a thread, when we are questioning if life is worth living, does our 1% heart truly matter? No matter who you are, all of us have had moments in our lives where we feel pressure to answer the overwhelming questions that weigh heavy on our souls. Heavy heart, you are NOT alone!!
Episode 65 (11/19/19): Life has a way of flipping what we so often prioritize upside down, highlighting in the process what truly matters; however, regardless of who you are, we all struggle with making comfort our king. In this episode, join us as we seek to learn from the early apostle’s unrelenting passion to tell others about Jesus, even when their lives… and comfortability… are on the line.
Episode 64 (11/6/19): Winnie the Pooh said it best in his attempts to figure out solutions to his problems, when he famously and frustratingly tells himself often, “Think. Think. Think!”.
Regardless of who you are, our thoughts can often become a warzone full of the shadows of our anxieties, worries, hurts, fears, regrets, insecurities, memories, and the brokenness that each season of life brings and leaves with us. In the uncomfortably of these shadows that plague us within, where is the rest that we all greatly long for found? May our heavy hearts … Breathe.
Episode 63 (10/30/19): With the recent release of Kanye West's highly anticipated "Jesus Is King" album, many opinions have been shared concerning the 180° pivot; however, in light of the skepticism, is the spotlight on Kanye's authenticity fair? Join us as we take a moment to do the hard work of shining the spotlight inward... as we look at our own hearts for a moment.
Episode 62 (10/23/19): Breakups are painful. Heartbreak is painful too.
Whether it is heartbreak from the loss of a friend, a breakup or loss of an engagement/marriage, or painful regret of past/present decisions & actions... where is healing that can be found in the midst of overwhelming pain?
Join us for Part 2 as we look at music & the scripture and discuss some observations that heartbreak can bring over time. Heavy heart, through the pain, THERE IS COLOR!
Episode 61 (10/16/19): Breakups are painful.
Whether it is heartbreak from the loss of a friend, a breakup or loss of an engagement/marriage, or painful regret of past/present decisions & actions... where is healing that can be found in the midst of overwhelming pain?
Join us as we look at music & the scripture and discuss some observations that heartbreak can bring over time. Heavy heart, through the pain, THERE IS COLOR!
Episode 60 (10/08/19): Continuing our look at one of Israel’s historical psalms, Psalms 107 continues by shining a light on our helplessness, injustice, poverty, and our longing for prosperity. Through our situations and brokenness, how does the Lord respond to us? Join us for Part 2 of our walk through this Psalm together.
Episode 59 (09/25/19): Considered one of Israel’s historical psalms, Psalms 107 shines a light on our restlessness, confusion, bondage, hurt, hardness, and the baggage that we carry which builds walls in our hearts toward the Lord which has existed since the fall of man. Through our walls, how does the Lord respond to us? Join us for Part 1 of our walk through this passage together.
Episode 58 (09/18/19): Convenience and comfortability is a big deal to us… why is this and is this the way that it is supposed to be? For those who are longing for more in this life, this episode is for you.
Episode 56 (09/04/19): At the core of our being, we are more alike then we like to admit. We are all looking for meaning, searching for love, wrestling with restlessness, and chasing fulfillment. At the end of the day, is there more to this life than being alive? Heavy heart, you are not alone...
Episode 55 (08/28/19): Feel overwhelmed or lost? Feel like your life is a wreck? It may feel overwhelming to maintain a sense of direction in these moments; however, are we too far gone? It's NEVER too late to set our sights back home. Join us as we recalibrate and strive to do just this…
Episode 53 (08/14/19): Have you ever felt worthless, insignificant, an embarrassment, punching bag, burden, or a lost cause? No matter who you are, we have all had a moment in our lives where we could answer “YES!” to one or more of these questions. When you feel unlovable... are you? No matter where you are or where you’ve been… you may just be surprised by just how clear the answer truly is.
Episode 52 (08/07/19): "God, where are you in this tragedy?" From mass shootings to personal brokenness… are we abandoned? No matter where your heart is today, you are NOT alone.
Episode 51 (07/31/19): Ever felt as if you were “surviving”, yet longing for more than living on reserves? There often is so much in our lives that demand our joy, rest, and focus… but how can we replenish that which we desperately need- yet struggle to resupply? Join us as we look at the hope of replenishing the joy, rest, and focus that we NEED, while seeking to feel ALIVE despite the external circumstances around us.
Episode 50 (07/17/19): It's so easy to get stuck looking back at what's been done... past accomplishments, past hurts, past memories; however, where is God NOW in our lives? Through whatever season you are in right now, there is hope. As we celebrate 50 episodes of this podcast, join us as we look at Isaiah 43 and seek the Lord here... now.
Episode 49 (07/10/19): It can be hard to find your purpose and your destiny, especially when people, circumstances, and even your own thoughts are against you; however, through all of the chaos and all the voices, is there a bigger picture to grab ahold of? Stephen Lemon joins us on today’s podcast to share from the heart how he has come to find his purpose even in the midst of chaos.
Episode 48 (07/02/19): When we love someone, we are willing to do whatever it takes to find what is hindering our ability to rest in that love; however, as people, our pursuit will always have a limit. Does our God have a limit in His pursuit of us…? Is there a hardness and hostility that we can have toward Him that will stop His pursuit of us? This week we will look at pursuit, our hostility, & and the rest that we all crave.
Episode 47 (06/26/19): On the last episode, we examined the perspective that comes 30,000 feet above the ground… yet, the majority of our life is spent looking up from the ground below. Here, we live alongside the people of the ground- each with their individual daily goals, desires, and plans. When what was once so small looking down, is giant looking up, how can we reconcile our perspective of the people around us? Join us as we look at this question together.
Episode 46 (06/19/19): 30,000 feet above the ground, that which once appeared massive becomes like a small spec of dirt on the floor. And to the toddler crawling on their hands and knees, the kitchen table may seem like the peak of Mt. Everest. At the end of the day… how much of what we see or feel is solely dictated by our perspective? In our moments when we are overwhelmed… what can we do? Join us as we look at these questions together.
Episode 45 (06/05/19): Have you ever felt as if you were walking through a fog? Maybe right now you may feel as if you are simply just doing your best to react and survive. In this life of sound bites and inspirational quotes, there are SO many things that we may give our attention that It has become simply second-nature to reach out for anything that can help us “make it through”. At the end of the day though, is there more to our lives than simply numbing ourselves through it…?
Episode 44 (05/29/19): We all struggle at times to see others or even ourselves as we should. To the ones who feel alone, confused, broken, empty, or a waste… what does Jesus see? How does Jesus interact with those whom others may view as worthless and why does this matter? As we look at Matthew 9, join us as we seek an answer to these questions together.
Episode 43 (05/22/19): In this performance of life, are you frustrated by your faults and insufficiencies? Or are you proud of your achievements and your talents? Regardless of what your answer is, your life may have more in common with an opening band then you may realize. Join us as we look at why this may be the case…
Episode 42 (05/15/19): When our heads are spinning and struggling to understand the extremes that life brings, where is God? Have you ever struggled to wrap your head around where the Lord is in the midst of both extreme suffering and overwhelming joy? No matter if you are going through the extremes of life, or somewhere in the middle, you are not alone. Join us as we seek the answer together...
Episode 41 (5/08/19): Appearance doesn’t tell the whole story, but it sure does draw us in… On this week’s episode, we look at a passage where Jesus approaches a beautiful fig tree and attempt to shine a light on the answer to the question, “Lord, what do you see when You look at me?” No matter where you are, you are NOT a lost cause.
Episode 40 (4/24/19): Have you ever had a moment where you were going through a hardship and thought, "How am I going to get through this?" Just like taking a left turn on a busy street, we’ve all had “left turn moments” where we once felt completely in over our heads, but somehow, those moments are now in the past... no matter what chaos that is in front of you, may today's episode meet you where you are.
Episode 39 (4/17/19): What is Easter and what does that have to do with surrender? Examining John 4, we look at the woman at the well and her conversation with Jesus to help answer these questions together.
Episode 38 (4/10/19): When I am in the mountains, my eyes are always drawn to the rapids… however, despite the awe that they produce within, what do we do with the demolishing anxiety, pain, or confusion of the rapids that life brings? Is there a hope in the chaos…? Join us as we lean into the same rapids of life that we try so hard to avoid, yet, finds us all.
Episode 37 (4/3/19): A few days ago, I had a dream that has been challenging me since. Is there more to life than comfort and security? No matter what we may settle for, join us as we seek the bigger picture than that which distracts us from the war raging outside our comfort zone.
Episode 36 (3/27/19): We all have desires in our lives, and often we may feel that those desires are not fulfilled. In the moments of frustration that follow, is there something greater then how things appear to look? Join us as we seek a bigger picture then what we may think in those moments.
Episode 35 (3/13/19): Ever feel numb… overwhelmed… confused… and at times stalked by what can feel like a dark rain cloud of instability and upheaval? You are not alone. Is there hope to be found even in what appears to be hopeless situations? Join us as we seek the answer together.
Episode 34 (3/06/19): Throughout the day, we can pick up so much emotional, mental, and spiritual baggage that we start to get used to doing life with the weight. Is there a better way? Join us as we seek rest that goes beyond self-sufficiency.
Episode 33 (2/27/19): When all seems lost… when all feels meaningless… when we have no words to communicate the hurt… all traces of Hope and meaning to our lives can seem dead. Picking up from Episode 31, join us as we continue to look at the idea of finding Hope in the moments where all seems to be collapsed around us.
Episode 32 (2/20/19): Sometimes our struggles, situations, and anxieties loom over us like a dark cloud… and nothing we do can shake it. Where can we place our focus to break the chains that hold us back from thriving where we are? Join us as we take a look at this question together.
Episode 31 (2/14/19): It’s easy to know the truth that you are loved on days like Valentines Day; however, the truth can fade away the moments where the dust of the excitement settles. Join us as we look at Luke 24 and ask ourselves, “Where is God when I don’t feel the same way that I did yesterday & where is God when things don’t make sense anymore?”
Episode 30 (2/06/19): It’s so easy to get lost in a trance sometimes… isn’t it? From binge-watching shows to daydreaming, to fantasying, we all can get lost in our heads and forget to be present. Why do we so often live in mirages and entertain fantasies? Join us as we take an honest look at the mirages that we so easily settle for.
Episode 29 (1/30/19): It’s so easy to let what we go through shape us, but how do we know when we are beginning to grow a hardened heart due to the things we have gone through? Join us as we look at our stubborn hearts together.
Episode 28 (1/23/19): Nothing haunts more than our past regrets or mistakes; however, how do we overcome what we’ve done? Join us as we seek to answer this question by looking at snow.
Episode 27 (1/16/19): “God, where are you…?!” We all have moments in our lives where this is all we can say. Moments where life seems to be one big storm. Where any beacon of light seems to get drowned out by the darkness around us. In those moments, where is God in the rain? Join us today as we look at life’s storms and ask, “God, where are you?”.
Episode 26 (1/9/19): "New", what an attractive word... and with every new year comes high hopes and the heart that cries for change. Where will true change come from this year?
Episode 25 (12/12/18): A relationship between two people, based around a one-sided love, will never last… what does this have to do with the story of Christmas? No matter where you are… or what you are going through… may you know that you are loved. Join us as we talk about the story of unrequited love and the rescue mission to abolish it.
Episode 24 (12/5/18): Temptation calls our name like sirens calling across the sea… and we fall like flies. Is there a greater song than the ones that we so often settle for? No matter how low you’ve gone… you are NOT a lost cause. Let’s talk about the song of Hope…
Episode 23 (11/28/18): If you are reading this, then you are on a journey… join us as we have a vulnerable conversation with topics that include self-righteousness, self-image, self-pity, mental health, and more with our special guest: Reid Hawkins. No matter where you are, or where you’ve been, you are NOT alone!
Episode 22 (11/14/18): "Intimacy begins in the kitchens of our lives." We all desire it whether we know it or not.... Intimacy. What is it and why does it matter? Join us as we look at the topic of intimacy together.
Episode 21 (11/07/18): Feeling a heaviness, anxiety, or a lack of peace? Join us as we look at two words that have the ability to give us the peace that our heavy hearts long for.
Episode 20 (10/31/18): On this 20th Episode of The Colorinchaos Podcast, we look at the brokenness in and around us and ask, "Lord, where are You when I feel alone and broken?"
Episode 19: (10/24/18) Is there anyone or anything that is consistent regardless of what we've done, where we are, and where we go? Change finds us all... however, Is there anything that stays the same in our yesterdays, present, and tomorrow? Join us as we look at our need for consistency and dive into the answer together.
Episode 18 (10/17/18): We as people have so many walls… why can be so easy to push others away throughout our day? Is there more than the mundane that is so easy to settle for when it comes to our relationships and our love toward others? If I’m being honest, my love is not always sincere; Join us on today’s episode as we have a vulnerable conversation on a topic that is relatable to us all.
[NOTE: The verses read from John 13-20, were read out of The New English Translation (NET). This translation is a free on-line English translation of the Bible, not bound by copywriter or restrictions, sponsored by the Biblical Studies Foundation
and published by Biblical Studies Press.]
0:00- Introduction
3:49- September 1, 2016
5:27- Prayer For Next Steps
7:26- Empty Apartment/ The Pillow, Loneliness, & Longing For Home
14:13- The Awkward Conversation @ Chick-Fil-A
22:04- The Phone Call
24:00- The Burden
28:50- The Commercial
31:37- “Make It Clear”
33:05- The Hot Mess
34:40- The Breakup
37:50- GRADUATION!
39:27- The Week Off/The Trip Up
46:46- “Where The Wind Rages”
54:05- The Surrender
55:44- The Heart of The Gardener
1:00:57- Observations & Reflections From The Other Side
1:07:00- Prayer/Closing
Episode 15 (9/26/18): Sometimes an older building must be torn down in order for a newer one to be built up. Where is the Lord in the moments where we feel that we have it all figured out? Using stories from college as an example, join us we dive into these questions together.
Episode 14 (9/19/2018): Everyone has a story, and every story has moments where everything feels great... and times where everything feels broken. Where is the Lord throughout these changes and moments in our lives? On today's episode, I look back to some key moments senior year of high school that helped shape me into who I am today as we also look at this question more.
Episode 13 (9/12/2018): After a baby is born, there is a process of discovering what it means to be human; what it means to live. Continuing from Part 2 of Patchwork, join us as we look at our identity ask, "What makes us who we are?"
Episode 12 (9/7/2018): I am often asked, "Why Jesus?". We all have a life story... This is a more expanded version of how I became a follower of Christ.
Episode 11 (9/5/2018): We all have a life story... and every story makes up the patchwork of our lives. On this episode of this new series, we discuss the importance of listening to other's stories while not ignoring our own. There is such a beautiful big picture in every person's life... you are not alone.
Episode 10 (9/3/2018): Burnout. Fatigue. Zero... Zero serves more as a placeholder for potential than an identification of value. In our lives, what can we learn from Zero? When the noise in our lives get too loud, how could we possibly bring our attention and focus on the moment before the noise started? Join us as we look at the moment where we took our first steps into this brave new world.
Episode 9 (8/31/2018): Does past mistakes, decisions, and memories weigh heavy on your heart? If I'm being honest, they do in my life... but why is this and why can't we ever seem to run away from them during those moments of flashbacks and weakness? In this episode, we will look at the moments of our life that makes us cringe and seek an answer to what we can do in those painful moments together.
Episode 8 (8/29/2018): Continuing from last episode, we ask the question: Is there a place that we can go, where the noise in our hearts & lives will be no more? Is it a far off island...? Or is it closer than we think? No matter where you are today, you are invited to join the conversation.
Episode 7 (8/27/2018): If we are being honest with ourselves... it's so easy at times to feel like a complete mess. One minute we can feel as if we have it together, and in a split second we begin to feel overwhelmed and overcome. Which version of ourselves are we? Is it possible that we are both? Join us as we look at this question in an honest and vunerable way.
Episode 6 (8/24/2018): How do we know what's our destiny? How do you know if God is trying to lead us somewhere? On this special episode, Devin Ruiz joins the conversation as the first guest on the podcast. Join us as we talk honestly about growing closer to God despite heartbreak, questions, and fears.
Episode 5 (8/22/2018): Ever have a moment where you look at your life and wonder how you got where you are, wishing you could reset and start over? You're not alone. This episode is for those of us who wish at times that life had a reset button.
The song referenced at the beginning of this episode is titled, “Perfector” and comes from the band My Epic’ssecond Facedown Records 2010album, Yet.
Episode 3 (8/17/18): When everything hurts, what matters more? On This Friday episode of Colorinchaos we will be looking at three real stories and experiences and asking this same question. Join us as we look at our pain and circumstances as we ask ourselves together, what matters more?
Episode 2 (8/14/2018): On this debut episode of The Colorinchaos Podcast, we look back at the crossroad moments of life where we came face to face with the unknown. On this episode we will look for applications that we can take with us from those moments regardless of where today takes us.
Episode 1 (8/13/2018): In this episode we look at the poem, “Cast A Shadow” and we take some time to explain the purpose of the Colorinchaos Podcast.