Generation Xhausted: Recent Episodes
Valerie Hamaker; LPC, NCC, CPT, SATP
Join Therapist Valerie Hamaker as she goes to the next level in tackling issues that so many of us deal with in midlife: exhaustion, regret, stagnation, and disappointment. In her podcast she connects these painful realities with powerful reasons for why we all feel this way. Most importantly, Valerie’s personability and warm presentation style will walk you through how YOU can claim passion, purpose, meaning and personal authority in your own life in areas such as marriage, parenting, employment, spirituality, and anywhere else where burnout rears its head.
Join Valerie and Nathan this week as they break down the phenomena of “The Magical Other”…the desire each of us has to find the right person [or job, church, community…choose your favorite quick fix solution]. which will make all of our troubles go away. And how this NEVER works and actually poisons the potential of […]
In this second episode of this two part series, Valerie brings on special guest and fellow therapist Jessica Ginther to talk about the value of the Internal Family Systems model of therapy as a model for helping people come to know themselves better. In
In this second episode of this two part series, Valerie brings on special guest and fellow therapist Jessica Ginther to talk about the value of the Internal Family Systems model of therapy as a model for helping people come to know themselves better. In this series Valerie and Jessica talk about how all human beings […]
In this two part series, Valerie brings on special guest and fellow therapist Jessica Ginther to talk about the value of the Internal Family Systems model of therapy as a model for helping people come to know themselves better. In this series Valerie and Jessica talk about how all human beings are innately whole and […]
We are social creatures…there is no getting around it. Almost without exception, the theme of our suffering is other people. And the way to work through this suffering is through exploring these struggles with other people who can show us support, affirmation, and a reflection of our ability to overcome. In this episode Valerie and […]
Join Valerie and guest co-host Jill Dickey as they break down a “real life” case study in relational burnout that was shared in Valerie’s weekly international online growth community that tackles issues of burnout that often comes from the complexities of parenting young adult children. In this episode Valerie and Jill use Terry Real’s 5 […]
In this episode, join Valerie and guest co-host Jill Dickey as they break down the flip side of Author Terry Real’s famous “5 Losing Strategies in Relationships” (see episode 156) as this week they hit the 5 WINNING STRATEGIES for all relationships! Not only do they break down each strategy, but they give specific examples […]
In this fun episode, Valerie and Nathan walk you through Terry Real’s 5 “LOSING STRATEGIES” that are bound to get you in trouble in your most complicated relationship. As Val and Nathan have been married going on 25 years, they know a thing or two about which strategies have gotten their relationship in the worst […]
In this episode (and the next several episodes) Valerie is going to go deeply into burnout and how you can better understand and deal with your toughest relationships. Val and Nathan will look at a variety of relationships that might be your most challenging–from intimate relationship to your relationship with your small children, adult children, […]
In this final episode on this burnout series focused on the concept of FLOW, Valerie and Nathan answer podcast listener questions about the correlation between flow and burnout. They address FLOW and energy centers of our body and how burnout is essentially a blockage in more or more of our body’s energy centers. They also […]
Join Valerie and Nathan in this deepening of the topic of FLOW as the state of heightened enjoyment, unselfconsciousness, concentration, and peace that is evidence that one is living a life that is alive, awake and thriving. FLOW is the opposite of burnout and if you want to heal from your struggle with all areas […]
In this episode Valerie jumps into the topic of meditation as the ABSOLUTELY mandatory key to finding peace in our journey out of burnout and into a life that is finally peaceful, meaningful, and purposeful. Here is a sad truth: most of us are kept hostage all day every day by our “neurotic roommate” (yes, […]
Join Valerie in her exploration of burnout’s opposite: The experience of FLOW. In this podcast Valerie answers several podcast audience questions about FLOW…what is it? How do I know I am having a “flow” experience? What can I do in my life to learn how to feel this way? Why do some people feel this […]
What is FLOW? FLOW is a state of being when mind and body are totally attuned, in sync, present, and exhilarated in a task. FLOW is the opposite of burnout and it is this month’s Generation Xhausted focus in your burnout recovery journey. In this week’s episode, Val and Nathan set the stage by breaking […]
In this work burnout podcast Val and Nathan talk about the difference between a job that “pays the bills” and a vocation that truly lights us up and why so many of us struggles following the path to a vocation that not only pays the bills but also provides ourselves and the world deep and […]
Join Val and Nathan as they talk about how work often is the setting where stress arises and our own insecurities, eccentricities, and blindspots show up in often uncomfortable and potentially enlightening ways. In this episode they use the personality assessment tool the Enneagram to talk about how we each might be able to self-diagnose […]
Some people hate their work and this is stressful. Some people like their work but are marinating in stress just the same for a variety of reasons. Join therapist Valerie Hamaker as she breaks down chronic stress and its impact on the body and how to work through your own stress to prevent illness, premature […]
Some people hate their work and this is stressful. Some people like their work but are marinating in stress just the same for a variety of reasons. Join therapist Valerie Hamaker as she breaks down chronic stress and its impact on the body and how to wor
In this week’s burnout discovery and healing conversation, Valerie talks to two incredibly brave people who share how complex childhood dynamics impacted them and still impact them, and most importantly, how they are each actively working on healing and growing. Listen as these guests share their stories 1. Being the “golden child” born shortly after […]
In this episode, Valerie interviews three sisters each have their share of tender moments realizing how very much the sibling relationship shaped each of their very identities. We talk about dynamics of oldest, middle, and functional youngest daughters and how these decades-spanning relationships are key to our own self-knowing and self-healing.
Join Val and Nathan as they share some personal reflections on how their own birth order relationships inform each of their unique brand of crazy! In this episode they demonstrate how you too can unpack the impact of your birth order in what makes you tick and also what keeps you stuck.
Join Valerie in this new series on burnout and sibling relationships. In this primer episode, Val shares some findings about the typical traits of the first born, middle children, last born, and only children along with accompanying strengths and weaknesses. This series is sure to awaken in you more curiosity about how you “tick” and […]
Oh please don’t miss this episode everyone! This will be an hour of pure gold where I gathered 8 individuals and together we each “rep our enneagram number” and discuss a myriad of topics like “what is your defining feature within
Oh please don’t miss this episode everyone! This will be an hour of pure gold where I gathered 8 individuals and together we each “rep our enneagram number” and discuss a myriad of topics like “what is your defining feature within your number?”, “what is your greatest vulnerability?”, “which relationship has been impacted the most […]
In this fabulous episode, Valerie is joined by fellow therapist, friend, and expert in the enneagram. Their topic? How the enneagram is a tool for relationship help! And they are talking about EVERY RELATIONSHIP, starting with one with ourselves and extending out to intimate partners, parentings, children, and co-worker. Listen to this podcast to understand […]
Join Nathan and Val in this playful conversation where they illustrate how we all manage stress differently through something we all know plenty about–the Covid 19. In this episode they run through each enneagram number and talk about how each type might have handled everything from shelter in place, to masks, to social distancing in […]
Join Valerie and Nathan as they open up a new conversation about how to heal from your own burnout…this series focuses on the ENNEAGRAM…a personality assessment tool that may very well change the way to view self and others…waking you up to your own blindspots. (Blindspots=Burnout!) This week is a primer on each enneagram number […]
Join Valerie and guest Jill Dickey, therapist-in-training and community member of Generation Xhausted Online Community, as they dig into a fellow GenX community member’s personal question about her own intimate sexual relationship with her partner that complex, overwhelming, and, yes, exhausting her. Learn about sex in a way that is likely totally new to you.
Why is making and keeping boundaries so hard? Because these struggles are wired into our brains at a very young age. In this episode, Val and Nathan share many of their own boundary ‘aha’ moments in their marriage an how they have grown in realizing that good boundaries make good relationships in every area of […]
Join Valerie and Nathan in this two part series about boundaries and how life is sucked from us when we don’t make them with ourselves and others. In these episodes, Val and Nathan talk about boundaries and how we are vulnerable to certain boundary weaknesses due to childhood. They also talk about why making boundaries […]
Join Valerie and her fellow online community manager Jillian as they talk about how online support, education, and interest communities are a few clicks away from help, friendship, healing, and growth. Valerie runs an online mental health and burnout recovery space and Jillian runs space to support and connect entrepreneurs world wide. They both are […]
Join Valerie as she hears the larger story of Generation Xhausted Community Member Andee, who shares how this community has been the ideal experience for her as it has helped her feel the connection, camaraderie, and support that has validated just how far she has come in her own healing journey. In this episode Val […]
Join Valerie as she shares some pretty amazing stories about how a few people came in with pervasive stressors (generalized anxiety and hypervigilence, intimate relationship issues, and issues of boundaries and self respect at work) and how together we learned how to tackle their chronic burnout with trauma therapy. These first hand accounts can be […]
Join Valerie and her lovely assistant Nathan as they talk about the how feeling chronically burned out (overwhelmed, perpetually exhausted) might be connected to a history of unresolved childhood trauma. In this and the previous episode, Valerie puts on her trauma therapist hat and walks you through all things childhood trauma and why those with […]
Join Valerie and her lovely assistant Nathan as they talk about the how feeling chronically burned out (overwhelmed, perpetually exhausted) might be connected to a history of unresolved childhood trauma. In this and the following episodes, Valerie puts on her trauma therapist hat and walks you through all things childhood trauma. Join her and Nathan […]
Join Valerie as she spends a few minutes in conversation with Lark, a member of her burnout recovery community who has jumped into her own growth journey “with both feet”. What motivated her to finally take this step? Compassion fatigue at work, the need to better understand the wounds she had received as a woman […]
Join Val and Nathan as they share stories about how relationships with intimate partners, friends, and authority figures can teach us volumes about our shadow selves. They walk through 3 final questions that we can ask ourselves about our most important relationships to learn about our shadow selves and potentially become healthier and more fulfilled […]
Join Valerie and Nathan as they banter about all things burnout recovery and spiritual development. In this SHADOW series, they talk about 3 of 6 questions we can ask ourselves to learn about our shadow…that part of our identity that we deny or pretend does not exist. These first three questions have to do with […]
In this episode Valerie and Nathan define burnout as the ultimate outcome of not knowing ourselves and then living accordingly. How to overcome? Well, for starters, lets accept that there are parts of ourselves that we don’t exactly like and then we spend a lot of time and energy hiding and trying to forget about […]
In this episode, Valerie breaks down her own methodology of how she works with individuals in their burnout recovery journey. Through countless hours of clinical work with people she has created a predictable path to healing infusing psychology, trauma recovery techniques, and spirituality elements. This is a mind/body/soul healing journey that has helped many. AND […]
Are you lit up by your own spiritual practices, study, traditions? No? Why not? Because guess what? As grown ups, WE are responsible for our own relationships (including our relationship with the divine and any institutions that might be trying to facilitation our relationship with the divine) and if they are not lighting us up, […]
Val and Nathan here for you as you are navigating the complicated moments around saying “yes” and saying “no” to extended family expectations. We are the first to admit that this is touchy but also feel that staying true to ourselves and staying in close and loving connection with loved ones is possible!
Join Valerie and Mary, a member of her new membership community as they talk about Mary’s experience doing one-one-one coaching work around her struggles to give and give. And give. This feels noble, right? Well…with some exploration, Val and Mary realized that Mary gives because she is trying to prove herself–to everyone. And she gives […]
Join Valerie and Nathan as they break down four possible origins for depression and how each of these kinds of depression have impacted them personally. They also talk about how and why depression especially impacts many of us during holidays or other “anniversary” times of the year, and what to do if/when you are feeling […]
In this episode, Valerie is guest of therapist Geoff Steurer, host of the podcast “From Crisis to Connection” and they talk about how Val’s view of burnout is extremely timely and very unique. From Val’s perspective, burnout come
In this episode, Valerie is guest of therapist Geoff Steurer, host of the podcast “From Crisis to Connection” and they talk about how Val’s view of burnout is extremely timely and very unique. From Val’s perspective, burnout comes from a lost relationship with ones one inner divine, a part of each of us that is […]
In this week’s episode, Valerie and Nathan talk about 3 typical midlife professional burnout paths. They then talk about the atypical [and optimal] path to career and personal development that prevents midlife burnout. Of course this conversation is only half of the story. As men cannot give birth, (whether we like it or not) their […]
Join Valerie and Nathan this week as they break down the phenomena of “The Magical Other”…the desire each of us has to find the right person [or job, church, community…choose your favorite quick fix solution]. which will make all
Join Valerie and Nathan this week as they break down the phenomena of “The Magical Other”…the desire each of us has to find the right person [or job, church, community…choose your favorite quick fix solution]. which will make all of our troubles go away. And how this NEVER works and actually poisons the potential of […]
Join Val and Nathan as they riff about Nathan’s favorite book that saved him from crisis when none of the supposedly air tight solutions worked. The book taught him that when we have learned about how to find happiness is dead wrong.
Join Val and Nathan as they riff about Nathan’s favorite book that saved him from crisis when none of the supposedly air tight solutions worked. The book taught him that when we have learned about how to find happiness is dead wrong.
Join Val and Nathan as they ponder the hundreds of books written on potty training and sleep training for infants and toddlers and almost nothing written about equally “angsty” developmental topics that happen fifty years later.
In this episode, hubby Nathan and I riff about his deep dive into the unknown of his own interests…his burn out came in part because he literally didn’t know what he liked…aside from liking to please others and do what he’d been socialized to do–protect and provide. Was he “allowed” to do something for himself? […]
Join me and my hubby Nathan, back on the show to talk about burn out recovery with some depth. He actually interviews me about how this became my passion and how I’m working towards helping as many people as possible through the launch of my worldwide online burn out recovery learning and support community.
Join Valerie and fellow therapist Brannon Patrick as he offers his own story of he and his wife coming to terms with a burning out marriage and how they were able to get real about owning their own parts in their struggles. In this episode Brannon and Valerie show how personal work in rooting out […]
Join Valerie and fellow therapist Brannon Patrick as they talk about the struggle that we all have deconstructing that pesky “false self”…those defensive identities that we all piece together from early in life and need to eventually jettison if we want true connection with the TRUE SELF, with others, and we our own potential.
In this episode Valerie jumps into the topic of meditation as the ABSOLUTELY mandatory key to finding peace in our journey out of burnout and into a life that is finally peaceful, meaningful, and purposeful. Here is a sad truth: most of us are kept hostage all day every day by our “neurotic roommate” (yes, […]
In this episode Valerie walks you through how “thin culture” has hijacked most of our brains and convinced us all that there is something wrong with us. This is a massive topic of burnout because it is a question of taking authority back–not allowing a nebulous entity outside of ourselves tell us that we are […]
What a lot of responses we got from last week’s episode on burnout and institutional religion! So much so, we decided to respond to a few topics that many listeners addressed! In this episode Valerie addresses why managing struggles with religion,
What a lot of responses we got from last week’s episode on burnout and institutional religion! So much so, we decided to respond to a few topics that many listeners addressed! In this episode Valerie addresses why managing struggles with religion, belief, and belonging are SO overwhelming to our brains and bodies and they both […]
Join Nathan and Valerie this week as they walk through their journey from card-carrying “kool aid drinkers” of their lifelong faith tradition to vibrant questioners and first-time owners of their own faith development. In this episode they speak to the role that the church can play and the roles that the church should NOT play […]
Join Valerie and her partner Nathan as they explore the ups and downs of parenting beginning with having 4 children in 7 years while Nathan was away at med school and residency and then on to the present where they are making sense of the wild world of adult child parenting. Lessons learned, mistakes made, […]
Join Valerie and hubby Nathan as they talk about implicit contracts around gender rolls and how they together had to challenge everything that wasn’t working and challenge how they get these ideas in their minds in the first place!
Join Valerie and her special guest and Nathan, her husband of 22 years as they open things up about their own marriage and how they both have and are working through the annoying truth that as years go by, people change, even the people we marry. They talk about marriage fails (trying to force the […]
Join me and my husband, Nathan as we break down professional burnout, or maybe better understood as a full-blown crisis in his profession as an eye surgeon and together walk through not only the events that brought up the crisis, but the realizations, learning, growth, and huge blessings of self-discovery that have grown out of […]
Join me and my husband, Nathan as we break down professional burnout, or maybe better understood as a full-blown crisis in his profession as an eye surgeon and together walk through not only the events that brought up the crisis, but the realizations, le
Join Valerie and guest experts Nick Jankel and Alison McAulay as they introduce their highly innovative philosophies on personal and professional transformation that began with a dream and has evolved into a highly successful teaching and consulting firm that has garnered praise from international thought leaders such as TEDx, BBC, Forbes, CBS, and The Atlantic. […]
Join Valerie and colleague Dr. Todd Frye in a continuation of their conversation about parenting, love, shame resilience, and how Valerie’s family grew enormously from their experience working with their daughter through her eating disorder. Want t
Join Valerie and colleague Dr. Todd Frye in a continuation of their conversation about parenting, love, shame resilience, and how Valerie’s family grew enormously from their experience working with their daughter through her eating disorder. Want to feel like being a messy, imperfect family is normal and even the best path to learning all that […]
Join Valerie and fellow therapist and perinatal specialist Heidi McBain in a conversation about the work that Heidi does in helping women from conception through the postpartum period. This period can include miscarriage, heightened anxiety, depression, and support around the multitude of challenges that come with a transition into motherhood.
Join Valerie in this follow up conversation with former client Becca, who shared her journey through postpartum depression and other young motherhood struggles (see last episode) in this follow up conversation a few years after terminating therapy. Becca shares long term benefits of working closely with a therapist in transitioning into motherhood.
Join Valerie in this follow up conversation with former client Becca, who shared her journey through postpartum depression and other young motherhood struggles (see last episode) in this follow up conversation a few years after terminating therapy. Becca
Join Valerie and former client Becca as they process her journey into motherhood with typical obstacles like postpartum depression, potty-training stress, and managing high expectations of self as mom and the little.
Join Valerie and former client Becca as they process her journey into motherhood with typical obstacles like postpartum depression, potty-training stress, and managing high expectations of self as mom and the little.
Join Valerie and fellow therapist Geoff Steuer as they riff about all things enabling. Why do we enable harmful behaviors in our loved ones? How does this happen? How can we know that we are enabling? How does the enabler feel? And most importantly, how do we stop enabling and heal our relationships from this […]
Join Valerie in a candid conversation with a former client, Michelle, who came to therapy to make sense of her tendency to connect herself with those who needed her to work herself ragged to prove to them that she was enough. This exploration involved diving into a childhood with an alcoholic father, struggles with personal […]
Join Valerie and colleague Brannon Patrick as he interviews her for his podcast “Therapy Brothers” where they riff it up about the church’s unwitting contribution to sexual shame in what is taught and what is not taught (and normalized) in the sexual development of every human being.
In this Episode, Valerie and follow therapist and podcaster Brannon Patrick walk through several signs that your partner might have really changed and healed following infidelity.
In this full interview, meet Isaac and Julie as they share their experiences with Valerie as their therapist learning that sex addiction is not about what we think its about. In their therapy, this couple learns to thrive and know that together they can accomplish all things.
In this full interview, meet Isaac and Julie as they share their experiences with Valerie as their therapist learning that sex addiction is not about what we think its about. In their therapy, this couple learns to thrive and know that together they can
Join relationship therapist Valerie Hamaker and her colleague Brenda Barros-Rivera as they dig into the FREEZE RESPONSE…which is the thing our bodies do when we can no longer “Fight” or “Flee”. They talk about various kinds of therapy approaches that are trauma informed and help people work themselves out of the freeze response.
In this episode Valerie and fellow human behavior expert Brenda Barros-Rivera continue their conversation about narcissistic abuse and extend their dialogue from the work-place to the home. They cover a broad variety of issues from what to look for, how it feels, how to handle someone in your life who might have narcissistic tendencies, and […]
Join Valerie and human behaviorist expert Brenda Barros-Rivera in this fascinating discussion about learning how to spot narcissistic abuse in settings where there is an explicit power differential. In this conversation they discuss what to look for, how to self advocate, and generally how to have a “map” around issues of this nature that are […]
Join Valerie and therapist colleague Jennifer Finlayson-Fife in this marriage counseling case study as they unpack a couple’s complicated story of both emotional and sexual struggle and walk through best ways to help couples with similar struggles . Several issues addressed in this episode including our tendency to want to control our partners in an […]
Join Valerie and therapist colleague Jennifer Finlayson-Fife in this marriage counseling case study as they unpack a couple’s complicated story of both emotional and sexual struggle and walk through best ways to help couples with similar struggles
Join Valerie in this interview that might touch many of us…as we all know or possibly struggle with work/rest balance. In this interview Valerie and former clients Trent and Ashley unpack how Trent was able to overcome his insatiable appetite for a
Join Valerie in this interview that might touch many of us…as we all know or possibly struggle with work/rest balance. In this interview Valerie and former clients Trent and Ashley unpack how Trent was able to overcome his insatiable appetite for achievement by better understanding himself. In a nutshell: when we do not understand our […]
Join Valerie in a tender interview with former clients Trent and Ashley as they walk through their couples counseling story and both share how they learned that “the problem” wasn’t-in fact- their partner, but that they each had something to learn and ways to grow to create a more loving and less conflictual marriage. AND […]
Join Valerie and fellow therapist and expert Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife in a fascinating conversation about women’s sexual health. In this conversation, Valerie and Jennifer talk about how a female world-champion athlete’s childhood experien
Join Valerie and fellow therapist and expert Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife in a fascinating conversation about women’s sexual health. In this conversation, Valerie and Jennifer talk about how a female world-champion athlete’s childhood experience eventually impacted her sexual relationship with her husband and they unpack steps to eventual healing.
Join Valerie and Dr. Jeff Meisenheimer, a principal at a large high school, who took a “crash course” in suicide prevention and recovery when one of his own students took her own life. This experience was devastating for the school and the community at large but also launched a major campaign around mental health awareness […]
In this episode, client Jeffrey walks us through significant moments in his therapy journey working through depression. He shares how his work in therapy with Valerie translated into his own capacity to relate to himself and to others differently and with more self love and appreciation for his own strengths and capacities.
In this episode, client Jeffrey walks us through significant moments in his therapy journey working through depression. He shares how his work in therapy with Valerie translated into his own capacity to relate to himself and to others differently and wit
In this episode, therapist Valerie and her former client Jeffrey, walk through several powerful moments in their therapy experience together including Jeffrey’s embodied experience of healing through meditation and his experience ‘rewiring his brain’ through going back into painful childhood experiences to see his own strength and competence.
Join Valerie and her former client Jeffrey as he walks us all through the twists and turns of adolescent depression, which doesn’t necessarily “look like” classic depression.
Join Valerie and her former client Jeffrey as he walks us all through the twists and turns of adolescent depression, which doesn’t necessarily “look like” classic depression.
In this episode, Jeffrey shares his story about how a friend bravely nurtured him through a moment when he was on the edge of suicide. If you don’t feel that one friend can make a difference, you need to hear this touching episode.
Meet Jeffrey, a brave young man who shares his story about pushing through chronic depression and finds that he is stronger than his struggles. The next several episodes is a special call to heightened awareness around depression and suicide awareness
In this session with Valerie and her amazing clients Jared and Kendra, learn about what their marriage counseling looked and felt like Jared’s recovery was well underway and they began to look at deeper issues that drove some of the more subtle dynamics in their marriage. In this episode you’ll see the reality that ALL […]
Join me and my own therapy clients, Jared and Kendra, as we tackle one of the touchiest subjects out there, healing from sex addiction and betrayal. Is it even possible? Can couples come back from this? Listen to this amazing couple and find hope.
Join some pretty amazing people, my dear friends Jared and Kendra as they share their own sacred story of healing from Jared’s struggles with addiction and consequent infidelity. Their story will have you amazed and impressed with the power of love, forgiveness, and healing.
Join some pretty amazing people, my dear friends Jared and Kendra as they share their own sacred story of healing from Jared’s struggles with addiction and consequent infidelity. Their story will have you amazed and impressed with the power of love
Please join me in this incredibly interesting podcast episode with the principal of a large high school who shares a variety of ideas around educational reform that he feels might be finally addressed due to truism that “crisis is often the mother
Please join me in this incredibly interesting podcast episode with the principal of a large high school who shares a variety of ideas around educational reform that he feels might be finally addressed due to truism that “crisis is often the mother of innovation”. In this dialogue, Jeff and Valerie go deep into the sad […]
Join Valerie in an enlightening conversation with science teacher Dave, who chose to teach adolescents because he loves connecting with others and loves watching them light up as he blows things up. Enter the pandemic and exit all of the reasons why teaching brought him life. What are Dave’s thoughts on the emotional impact of […]
Join Valerie in an enlightening conversation with science teacher Dave, who chose to teach adolescents because he loves connecting with others and loves watching them light up as he blows things up. Enter the pandemic and exit all of the reasons why teac
Join Valerie and her guest Mary, a mom of 4 kids between kindergarten and high school, as they talk all things Covid and parenting our kids in school, home schooled, and something in between…depending upon the week. This has been a roller coaster for us all and this episode gives us all permission to say, […]
Join Val and college student Lukas as they talk all things Covid 19 and its unique impact on the university student. From dealing with shelter-in-place with difficult roommates to the discouragement of zoom classes, to supporting friends with mental health struggles, Lukas gives us all a peek into life as a college student in Covid […]
Join Val and college student Lukas as they talk all things Covid 19 and its unique impact on the university student. From dealing with shelter-in-place with difficult roommates to the discouragement of zoom classes, to supporting friends with mental heal
In this episode, meet therapist Valerie Hamaker and learn more about her background, passion, and the gift that being a therapist has been to herself, her family, and to the growth of her own soul. Want to become a therapist? Have you considered seeing a
In this episode, meet therapist Valerie Hamaker and learn more about her background, passion, and the gift that being a therapist has been to herself, her family, and to the growth of her own soul. Want to become a therapist? Have you considered seeing a therapist and haven’t quite had the courage? Listen to this […]
Join couples therapist and your host, Valerie Hamaker as she and an amazingly transparent couple, Len and Sheri, walk us through their entire journey of couples counseling from adjustments as empty nesters, a deep dive into Len’s childhood trauma history, and finally a walk through the book that they read that walked them step by […]
In this episode therapist Valerie Hamaker is assisted by her two clients, Len and Sheri, in their journey working through a complex trauma history that is profoundly getting in the way of this couple’s capacity to relate in emotionally safe ways. Every one of us brings “baggage” to our relationships and this couple’s journey shows […]
In this week’s episode, we go deeply into the process of couples counseling when one (or both) partner has a trauma history. Honestly, we all have relational histories and we all bring our “stuff” with us into our intimate relationships. Tune in as Len shares the process that he learned to “reparent” himself so that […]
Meet Len and Sheri, married 31 years and embarking on life as “empty nesters”. A couple of military deployments and their kids all having the nerve to grow up and live lives of their own force this couple to finally face issues that they’ve never been able to figure out.
Join Valerie and co-host Dr. Todd Frye as they unpack the good news and the bad news…which is that parents have a massive impact on the emotional health of their little ones! So the healthier we as caregivers get, the better chance our kiddos have
Join Valerie and co-host Dr. Todd Frye as they unpack the good news and the bad news…which is that parents have a massive impact on the emotional health of their little ones! So the healthier we as caregivers get, the better chance our kiddos have of emotional health.
More on parenting littles but with a twist this week. Meet Michele, mom of six biological children, who shares her journey in taking in two nieces of a family member who realizes that they cannot care for their own children. When a family of eight becomes a family of ten, things get very interesting, especially […]
In this episode your heart will melt as you meet adoptive parents Jared and Renee, a couple who’s infertility and adoption attempt journey lasted them 17 long years before they were able to become parents to two siblings who have offered them both the joys and the struggles of all parents and some extra experiences […]
Join Valerie and her guest expert and attachment therapist Rene as they dig into the nitty gritty of parenting littles. Rene specifically addresses the challenges that it is for adoptive parents to parent adoptive children who bring with them a “suitcase” filled with their untold (and untellable) stories. These “suitcases” sometimes clash with the parents […]
Join host Valerie as she interviews Rene, a fellow therapist and expert in working with parents of littles in general and adoptive littles and their parents in particular. In this episode Valerie and Rene will talk about how difficult behaviors from our littles often evoke in us parents difficult behaviors in response and how this […]
Join Val and co-host Todd in their post-interview conversation about the tough task of parenting adolescents and emerging adult children. Topics include offering children enough autonomy to choose their own journey while also scaffolding them with values that their children will hopefully learn to espouse for themselves. An either way, the most important message: love […]
Final thoughts and feelings about the joys and pains of parenting. Carter shares the deep gratitude that he has for learning more emotional awareness himself through this process and Emily shares that she has found professional direction in her life through this experience. Indeed, this journey has blessed the whole family!
In this conversation, Carter and Emily go more deeply into their parenting journey and the lessons learned about perfectionism and its dangers. In this touching conversation, Carter and Emily share Ben’s experience “hitting bottom” and their whole family’s beautiful experience rallying around him.
Join Valerie and Todd as they get listeners ready to meet Carter and Emily, the parents of Valerie’s adolescent client, Ben. In this case, Valerie works with both parents and their teen- aged son and helps them all understand the power of the parents love, teachability, and personal accountability in the healing work of a […]
By popular demand I’m trying something new…here is the entire interview of my last guest…Join me and Steven, uncut, as we walk all the way through his therapy journey. He’s an amazing example that its never too late to heal from early childhood trauma.
In this episode, Valerie and Steven reflect upon Steven’s ever-increasing capacity to tolerate sharing his trauma history. He recounts how both work in mindfulness and sharing his ongoing dreams with Valerie helped him heal from wounds carried for almost 60 years. This episode will both warm your heart and give you hope that it is […]
In this episode, Valerie and Steven visit about Steven’s move from setting tight boundaries around what was ‘allowed’ and ‘not allowed’ to be discussed in therapy to deciding that finally he could talk–really talk–about his own story of early sexual abuse. They reflect on how this journey was both scary and sacred and how eventually […]
Meet Steven, a brave gentleman who finally decided (after 60ish years) that he was worth it enough to heal from some early childhood wounds that until then “didn’t matter”. As a loving husband, father, and grandfather, he willingly gave his life to everyone else. Finally it was his turn to be added to his own […]
Join Val and Hannah (founder of the very popular instagram account @thehappyslothclub) as they talk all things mental health and especially the power that we each can have in talking about our own journeys through struggle.
Join Val and co-host Todd as they unpack the struggle that many men have in pushing up against our culture’s mandate for men to be “tough” and how they in many ways have been socialized to manage in ways that ultimately bring anxiety, emptiness, and relational struggle. This epidode highlights how Val’s client Garrick is […]
In this episode, Garrick and Valerie dig into how his therapy journey impacted his marriage. Garrick shares his realization that there was no ‘fixing’ the marriage until he better understood himself and further realizes that being accountable and compassionate with his own struggles positioned him to love his wife more deeply and better understand her […]
In this episode Garrick and Valerie go more deeply into his story. Garrick discovers that his strategy to “hate himself” into better performance was a losing battle and one that continued to leave him emotionally empty. Learning to see himself as worthy, good, and ‘enouogh’ independent of his accomplishments has been a hard sale but […]
Join Valerie and Garrick in this powerful series. Garrick is a young husband and father, former US Marine, and a medical student. He knows a whole lot about pushing himself ever harder to prove his worth. Then one day he realized that he his strategies to work harder in an effort to prove his worthiness […]
In this touching episode, meet Jeffrey, a small business owner whose printing business went from the faster growing franchise in the world of its type to the need to nearly shut their doors, all within days. His story is one of tenacity, resilience, and a desire to never give up. It is also a story […]
This week Valerie airs her guest appearance on the popular podcast “Family Looking Up” and shares the nitty gritty about attachment theory and parenting. Val shares not only the fundamentals of this philosophy, but also personal experiences around how she has learned how to become more securely attached to her children in the midst of […]
Join host Valerie as she follows up with both new bride Mary Kate and her Momma Jill. Both touchingly share their experiences in the aftermath of planning of wedding during Covid-19. Their stories are hopeful and full of gratitude in the realization of what really matters most.
Meet Jill, mother-of-the-bride. Her daughter (just interviewed last week) is an only daughter and eldest child. Jill’s internal work to prepare for this important life-altering event was already going to a growth experience. Then throw in Covid-19 and watch what happened. Struggle. Stress. Falling apart a little. Coming together a lot. Grieving. Celebrating. Loving. Growing. […]
Meet Mary Kate, a young women getting married in just a few days. Join her in conversation with Valerie as they talk through the twists and turns of planning a wedding during perhaps the strangest time in recent history. You’ll be blown away by her maturity and perspective in her journey through this difficult time.
In this series Valerie interviews several individuals impacted by Covid-19 in a unique way. Each of these individuals happened to plan weddings that have fallen during some level of ‘lock down’ and are managing the complexities of moving forward with pivotal life events in the wake of an unprecedented situation. Today Val interviews her own […]
Val and Instagram account sensation Hannah Shurey, founder of @thehappyslothclub talk about Hannah’s own journey to the moment when she overcame her own fears of therapy and found this the greatest gift she could have given herself. Val and Hannah are working hard to help the US and the UK (and everywhere in between) get […]
In this wrap up episode, join Val and co-host Todd dig more deeply into the concept of asking for help, support, and guidance. Why do we struggle so much to reach out for others’ help when most of us are happy to be on the giving end? This podcast unpacks this phenomenon and encourages each […]
In this episode, Val and Amber explore her discovery that her capacity to really look at her own ‘mom guilt’ freed her up to really love her children deeply. She also shared a sweet experience of how her aspiration that her children become advocates to protect others from abuse was realized. Finally Amber shares how […]
In this beautiful episode, Amber shared with Valerie several of her own ‘aha’ moments where growth came to her in her journey to heal from a divorce with five young children, including her realization that life is too short to hold a grudge and resent those who had hurt her and her children and that […]
In today’s podcast you’ll meet Valerie’s guest and former client Amber, a young single mom who overcomes huge challenges in her life and talks about how deciding that she could ask for support by coming to therapy might have been the biggest challenge of all. Before meeting Amber, Todd and Val explore a little about […]
Join Valerie as she interviews the founder of “The Happy Sloth Club”, a very popular instagram account celebrating health and healing and normalizing the real struggles of the human experience. In this episode Valerie and Hannah share the joint vision of de- stigmatizing struggles with mental health and discuss how certain choices in social media […]
In this episode, Valerie and fellow therapist and co-host Todd dig deeply into postpartum depression and also talk about the common nature of every postpartum period as intense, overwhelming, and a beautiful but sometimes harrowing time for the new mother and support staff in the home. This episode normalizes the depth and variety of feeling […]