Totally Onboard: Recent Episodes
Sara Garfinkel, Brittany Howk
Just two gals chit-chattin’ about the glamour and reality of show biz on (and off) the high seas. Ever wonder what happens beyond those “Crew Only” doors? Romance, guest encounters, gossip, pirates, mermaids, the whole shebang.
"Naut" your average girls, Brittany and Sara are two singing and dancing best friends and cast-mates. Meet us on the gangway for what is sure to be a hull of a time!
Season 2 FINALE. Britt and Sara wrap up their second season with an episode just like a box of chocolates... You never know what you're going to get! Well, laughs and relatable content are always guaranteed ;) Listen in for their current Top Fives, favorite jokes, table topics, "would you rather," and lots of fun in between.
Dinners with the moms of famous people, breaking up karaoke fights, and accusations of identity theft... Hear the deets of all of this and more in this “Career Day” episode with the incredibly talented Assistant Cruise Director, Stephen Lugowe. Stephen recounts wild guest encounters, the best parts of the difficult job, and other ship insights you won’t want to miss.
Looking to get into the sweet romantic mood of Valentine’s Day? Well, keep looking because this ain’t it. Instead, treat yourself to a series of risqué, dangerous, embarrassing, and downright hilarious vignettes of onboard hookups - all submitted by fellow performers and ship crew. Get your daily fix of ~tea~ as Britt and Sara read and react to these truly wild rollercoaster stories.
How do ships float? They spend HOW MUCH on alcohol in a year?! These questions and others... ANSWERED. Well, kind of. Drunk Brittany and Sara do their best to give you the fun facts and explanations of ships that they know absolutely nothing about, fueled by a little liquid courage. Do they know how much the anchor weighs? Can they make an even remotely close guess? Find out with some giggles and outrageous guesses- This episode is a truly embarrassing treat.
“Just me, iTunes, and some sequins…” -Damien Ross. It’sssss Career Day, and this is a good one. Join Britt, Sara, and their previous wardrobe supervisor for an exclusive look at what happens backstage with costumes and dressing. Born a performer, rocked the drag queen ~lewk~ in the original cast of Pricilla Queen of the Desert, then became a self-taught costumer with credits in Wicked, Hamilton, and Frozen (among many others), Damien truly knows all the ins-and-outs. He is currently working as the Deputy of Wardrobe for Magic Mike Live in Sydney, Australia. Damien has worked the full industry... Stage, screen, and behind-the-scenes. Not only that, but he oozes passion and talent for his work. Don’t miss this one!
Well that took a while... Wondering where your favorite girls have been? This week Brittany and Sara catch you up on the Covid-19 drama, the contracts they've been keeping secret, and the lofty goals they have for 2021...with some random stories in between. Don't miss Totally Onboard's first episode of 2021 with all the JUICY updates you've all been waiting for.
We all know that cruise ships have grown to be floating cities with amenities out the wazoo, but how extreme does it get? Today, Britt and Sara tackle the “wtf” category of ship features, including submarines, breweries, top deck Go-Kart tracks, and more. These ships are EXTRA (even without Britt and Sara onboard)!
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This may seem crazy to hear after listening to Britt and Sara bash officers and other romantic endeavors in the previous episode, but there are some beautiful true love stories that bloom onboard cruise ships. In this “Storytime” episode, Britt and Sara read these heart melting, hilarious, and “Universe assisted” ship romances written by none other than the protagonists themselves. Fair warning, if you’re single, tune in with a glass, or bottle, of wine in hand… these are sickeningly adorable.
Chasing deceitful officers? The terribly awkward situation of breaking up onboard? All of the JUICY questions you've been waiting for are finally being answered. This week, Britt and Sara share their own experiences, answering your questions, and just reminisce on the simultaneous hot mess and joy ride of dating on cruise ships. Spoiler alert: They haven’t figured it out yet.
It's that time of year, folks, the holiday season is upon us! Get into the festive mood as your favorite girls talk all things HOLIDAYS. Britt and Sara have the inside scoop on celebrating at sea, from the totally "meh" days to the parties and festivities you don't want to miss. Thinking of booking a cruise to celebrate your favorite holiday? Find out the deets on whether to ship it or skip it!
On this "Career Day" episode, Britt and Sara are joined by the incredible singing talent, Emily Yates Blick. Emily will talk you through her extensive career: Headlining in Vegas, cruise ships all around the world, creating and producing her own shows, a surprising and unique side-hustle... The list goes on and on for this ambitious QUEEN. Not to mention, you may even hear a little singing along the way. You don't want to miss this!
Kick off Season 2 with your favorite ghosts, er, HOSTS, for this spoooooky Halloween episode. Britt and Sara talk gruesome murders, mysterious disappearances, eerie ghosts, and other strange creepy happenings on cruise ships. Buckle up for some crazy stories, but don't get too scared... You can always count on Britt and Sara to keep you laughing through even the scariest of tales.
Season 1 FINALE. After fourteen wonderful episodes, Sara and Brittany reminisce on the first season and how everything came to be, give a teaser on the future of the podcast, and even give each other a little roast to top it off. From convincing Sara to join the podcast to real fights over grammar, the journey to this finale has been a JUICY one.
A warm magical welcome to the first episode of the “Career Day” series, where Brittany and Sara invite fellow non-singer and non-dancer crew members to share the nitty-gritty details of their job onboard. Up first, comedy magician Jean-Pierre Parent, JP. How does a thirteen-year-old working birthday parties with business cards from his Dad grow his passion into a vastly successful career? That, and of course, all of the hilarious details in between. Tune into this candid interview and get the scoop on just about everything, except for the tricks themselves ;)
Grab yourself a coffee or cocktail, and sit back and relax with your favorite girls for a chill chat. Brittany and Sara discuss it all...from cruise news and the bleak future of their jobs onboard, to avoiding the "what's next?!" question and attempting romance in the real world.
What happens when you break your foot while on a contract or traveling solo in Bali? Sadly, these girls have all the answers. Follow Britt and Sara as they share their unfortunate tales of matching fifth metatarsal breaks. From bad omens, sassy taxi drivers, and questioning doctor's advice, these stories are QUITE the journey.
What happens when a dancer breaks a foot? Or a singer loses their voice? Or someone's costume rips in half mid-quick-change and they can't go out on stage? Join your favorite girls for the full 411 on damage control in show biz, also known as re-blocks.
Welcome to the kickoff of the “Storytime” series, the first episode of many where Brittany and Sara read and react to stories submitted by fellow performers. On this episode, tune in to tales of embarrassing show mess-ups and silly (but necessary) pre-show routines, all of course told in hilarious detail. This one is sure to be a knee-slapper, so if you’re anything like Sara, be sure to take a trip to the bathroom before listening!
The opinions shared are those of the interviewers and guests and not representative of the companies they work for.
In the first episode of the "A Day in the Life" series, Britt and Sara talk about everything that goes into a show day. Tech runs, superstitions, backstage secrets, and more, listen and learn about what goes on in preparation for "Curtain Up!"
The views and opinions of those being interviewed are their own and do not reflect those of their employers.
Tackling some of your most popular questions, Brittany and Sara talk all things seasickness, weather, and rocky waters. From vomit buckets in the wings, to sneaking onto outer decks expecting a scene from “The Perfect Storm,” and ultimately just wanting to be rocked to sleep, Britt and Sara cover it all.
Finally… the last installment of the shore to ship saga. How do you pack for a 6 month contract? Join Sara and Brittany as they pack up their lives, travel to the ship, and begin the grueling process of opening all of the shows. Tears, excitement, stress, and laughter (of course) bring it all together as they recount the journey of seeing the ship for the first time, getting the shows onstage, and the first day onboard.
The saga of shore to ship continues with safety training and rehearsals. Did you know those singers and dancers in sparkly dresses know how to suit-up in firefighter gear in less than 60 seconds? Join Britt and Sara as they take you through the adventures of "Boating School" and the daunting process of learning all of their shows.
Join Brittany and Sara as they detail the journey from dreaming of cruises to cruising their dreams! Auditions, the call, and of course, stalking all their future castmates. Getting from shore to ship is quite an adventure, and it’s only the beginning.
It’s SAIL-AWAY! Grab yourself a cocktail and get to know your hosts! (Don't worry, they're drinking too.) Answering some of the most commonly asked questions, Britt & Sara give a teaser for what’s to come!
COMING SOON... Join cruise ship performers Brittany and Sara, best friends and cast-mates, for an entertaining and honest tell-all of their naut-so-average lives.