The Rugby League Apologists: Recent Episodes
Parky, Tone, Monty and Sean
We are the Rugby League Apologists and we love our footy. We do the hard yards up the guts with all the issues, and spin it wide for a good laugh to boot.
Acai bowls, cruciferous smoothies and normal bread are all on the menu. Just don't swallow your own whistle...
What lurks beneath? Is it the lowest common denominator? You can almost hear a pin drop. ..
Look who's reached one hundred! Just create a hole then fill it they said. That ought to draw a crowd to the cubicle...
Is there a structural problem? Or is it a root problem? Hmmm, it is a very short whistle...
No more blah, blah, blah. Parky's surfaced and playing the house down. Hit the applause button...
Who's blind-folded and using a stick? Who's beating the traffic? It's all about the sauce...
Who's making up the numbers? Who's getting on the turps? Oh dear, who shat in the shoe..?
Who's getting kicked out? Or are they just being paid out? Is anyone going to have a crack..?
Halves and five-eighths, do they add up to a touch of class? Oh, oh, oh - it's magic..!
Fear not ladies and gentlemen for the fine art of button pushing has been newly mastered. And how...!
Is life imitating art, or art imitating life? Can Robocop help? Surely it's only a bandaid solution..?
Who's been knocked from pillar to post? Who's got psycho in them? Oh, it's a marketers dream...
Who are the underperforming superstars? Will the gang strip? Oh, that's opened a can of worms...
The time of reckoning is nigh. Expectations are high. Who will meet them? Who'll fall down? What's in the box..?
Straight out of mothballs the lads are back into it with gusto. Have they peaked too early or are they just getting started? Welcome back...
The final episode is upon us. Can the lads muster the strength for one last charge at the line. Will they be tested?
This is it. The night of nights. Get your fancy pants on and join us on the beige carpe for the biggest award show of the year.
Closing in on the big one and the excitement is palpable. There are plenty of losers, and that's just in the recording studio. Ah, it's good to see some honesty...
Who's got the biggest heart? Who's got the biggest engine? Who's got the biggest wallet? Surely it's the vibe of the thing...
If the lads are transparent why can't you see through them? Can they be trusted, or will they be wasted? Cry me a river...
The lads are going 100 miles an hour but are they ahead of the pack? Will they be troubling the engraver? Why the sounds of silence..?
The lads have their thinking caps on, and their hair nets. Why the impediment? Are they defeated before the beginning? Welcome to the circus...
When did Parky get game? Who's Monty catching with honey? Why is Tony giddy? What's that smell coming from Seans direction? Is it a lizard? Hmmm, fishy...
What went wrong? Have the lads lost control? Is it the head clashes? Who's in their ear? It's too late to pull out now...
Is it time for the lads to fight the tedium? How long before they lose the forty degrees of floppiness? One cat dog...
The lads are getting into the semi's but will they podium? The handlebars have come off, will the wheels come off too? Welcome to the lockdown games...
The lads are in fine form but can they be cocksure? Who's ears are burning? What a show, what a spectacle..!
Can the lads be taken seriously or have they become caricatures of themselves? Tune in for another super, flying fun show!
In a game of numbers who's been hung, drawn and quartered? Can the second-stringers manage, or will they be at sixes and sevens?
The lads can extrapolate till the cows come home, but are they just going through the motions? Who's responsible for the cover up? Get the Wolf on the line...
Though looking resplendent in monogrammed jackets, why are the lads sticky? Have they been masking ructions within the team? Ooh, who's been self-deprecating..!?
Could the lads make a buck gladiatorial style or are they jousting without a stick? Egg flips...
Is there a way through the curtain of thud? Is complacency the enemy? Hmmm, too many times...
The lads have designs but do they have meaning? Will anything make a lick of difference or are they clutching at straws? Is anyone listening..?
Who doesn't like a backlash? Why the shades? How much can a Koala bear? God only knows...
Thankfully the boys survived the crackdown. Or did they? Oooh, there's some ugly stuff...
Can the lads tackle the tackle? How low can they go? Will they be rewarded or will they be dumped?
Why are the lads going sideways? Is something array at the helm? Will they split into two? Unbox the green dream...
In this episode the lads go on the attack. Will it be an offence-fest? Why is Parky getting defensive?
Why are the lads so clean cut? How did they get so smooth? Is this some kind of soap opera? Exit, stage left...
Can the lads take a knock? Will they remember the words and get back on or will the numbers trip them up? Who's gone viral?
Like the goose that laid the golden egg that was eaten by the Phoenix in the ashes of the Dodo, we give you something at last. At least...
Have the lads put their heads in the wrong place? Or are they fatigued? What side does the little ring go on again..?
Is that a clear send-off? Or have the lads over reacted? Do they have peripheral vision? That's easy for you to say...
Can the lads number up or will the performance clause come into play? What's with the lotion? Have they gone soft?
The knockabouts talk all the teams and rank them, including their top 8's. Knock, knock. Who's there? Yikes, it's the CEO..!
The lads are putting it about, but are they spreading themselves too thin? Oh, they do love a parade. Adios amigos...
The first episode of season two and the lads have hit the ground running. Well, it's more of a jog. Ok, mostly walking. Suck 'em in fella's...it's a long season.
Hobbled and cobbled, have the lads had a gutful? Have they gone flat? Or can they power up for one final charge at the line? Who's game..?
Episode forty and the lads are displaying a level of mindfulness usually reserved for the most enlightened of pundits. Or are they on the hooch with Snoop? Outstanding..!
Away from their original state the lads are way out of position. Is Sean flexible enough to follow Parky's procedure? Has Monty run out of depth? Can Tony stretch? Did somebody say...?
The lads are riding high but have missed the jump again. Can they escape the inside rail? More importantly, can they avoid the stewards' swab? Giddy-up the Blues...
The boys are back in town but what happened to the entertainment? Can the mix tape get 'em going? Who'll bring the oomph? Will they bogan up? And who are those idiot groupies...?
Who's been omitted in Grand Final week? And who is that with the hushed, dulcet tone? Is it a stunt or has the lads' preparation been thrown into a spin? Don't touch that dial...
The Apologists have done what Super League promised back in the day - to spread the word of the rugby league football to the big, wide world. Even if from the smallest room in the house. Still, there's no time to put you're feet up...gobble, gobble...
The Lotto girl makes an appearance and has the lads enamoured. Who'll be the winningest? Will they make a play? Boy, do they have the knack! And the supplementary number is...79.
The Apologists enter their very first podcast finals series. Apparently you have to lose one before you can win one? Oh no, who will they lose..?
Has Tony found another loophole? Will Parky's social experiment take shape? Will the proof be in the pudding? Why is Sean still smiling? Who's hogged the hookah? Wake up Monty...
Tony's looking resplendent in his Sydney Olympics volunteer shirt whilst Sean imbibes the contents of Monty's hip-flask. Can they keep the flame alive? Why is Parky clip-clopping around the studio? Pass the lippy...
The erstwhile leader returns to find a spectacular soap-opera, or is it WWE? Have the lads over-compensated? Who's calling the shots? Captains challenge...!
With Parky prone the lads face their greatest challenge. Will Tone step up into the coveted 'big chair'? Can he get Monty and Sean to lift? Can he find the dressing room? Or has he already lost it?
Monty's doped up but will it dull the pain? Has Tony's run with hookers come to an end? Will Sean find light at the end of the rainbow? Are they serious? Parky's on the blower to his lawyer...
Moving scenes as the bullet's been fired. Will Parky have time to figure it out? Will Sean get found out? Has Monty been licked? Oh look, there's Tone on the TV...
Time for the leadership group to ask some tough questions. Can you put brains in statues? Where'd you get those sound-proof trackies? Who wants a haircut? What is a leadership group..?
Parky's extrapolating while Tony discombobulates. Meanwhile, Monty's back with a flourish to cherish. What's it all mean? Never mind, Sean's got this episode by the scruff of the horns...
Indigenous round and the lads welcome a new voice. A Manly presence from Wiradjuri way who's prepared to play three halves. Will they behave? Or will they go the full Monty?
Hump round is done and the lads are taking stock. Has Parky's golden goose been cooked again? Has Tony thrown his toys out of the cot? And why is Sean pixelated? It's all downhill from here...
It seems the second wave is on the way. Are the lads at the crossroads? Do they have to get back into their bubbles? Will bubble-wrap do? How about a bubble bath?
Finally the reunion, and the lads are hitting the drink. Sean's blowing kisses, momentum's carried Tony over and Parky's feeling well-bonded. Will the celebration descend into a schemozzle? Who ate all the hotdogs?
Parky's getting defensive but will he take a chance? Can Tony be a good loser, or will he go down swinging? Does Sean have what it takes between the ears? Hmmm...why does he have a broom above his head..?
With their hearts on their sleeves the lads have been in the sheds shedding tears. They've been told to get better at the intangibles but they just end up tangled. Are they really cut out for this, or can they get comfortable being uncomfortable?
Tony's finally off the leash and attacking grey areas. Parky's chipped and chasing and Sean's putting up bomb after bomb. There's plenty of movement but are the lads going forward, or back to the future?
Parky's still winless and under the pump. He says he's not good with numbers but nothing seems to add up. Does the buck stop with him or is he just the scapegoat? And why are the lads packing into a scrum..?
Despite the disappointing results from their own teams, the lads are optimistic that they can wrest back momentum. Do they have the mental fortitude and toughness required, or will Parky's vile vials get the better of them?
With footy again the theme of the day the lads are unified and in full voice. Will Sean turn a chair or is Tone deaf? How would Parky look in a crocheted blanket? Stay tuned...
Tony and Sean are pumped up, fighting fit and ready to kick on. Just a week and a bit till the footy's back, but what's wrong with Parky? Is he fatigued or just deflated?
It's podcast number thirteen. Parky's wearing his golden metallic underwear, Tony's made sure all the toilet seats are down and Sean's marked his territory. They say bad luck comes in three's - good thing the lads aren’t superstitious…
After a dressing down the boys are dressed up and back in the saddle. Can they boot-scoot in time, or will the dance go square? Will there be enough cowbell? See you in the mounting yard. Yeehaw..!
After skipping town for a weekend bashing in the bush, Tony and Sean have been rounded up. Parky's pleased that his new tracking app worked to find them, but will a flash of UV and a flush of household bleach properly cleanse his wayward charges?
The lads are celebrating their tenth episode. Whilst it's time to party, it's also time to reflect. Time to doff your hat, raise a glass. Time to remember. Lest We Forget.
'Ground control to Major Tom. Your circuit's dead, there's something wrong.
Can you hear me, Major Tom? Can you hear me, Major Tom?'
The lads are in Cape Canaveral for Project Apollo but whilst Parky has his feet planted on terra-firma it seems the lads are already in orbit.
Can Parky's sycophantic interjections survive the tyranny of distance? Is Sean on the same channel or has he been lost to romantic comedy? Fully isolated now in their individual recording booths, can the trio connect? Or will they be scrambled like Tony's eggs?
Sean's torn. Should he be supporting Parky's Brest or following Tony's Slutsk. Though with a 100% pay cut for the lads, does it really matter? Is it all for nothing? Hmmm, maybe Minsk? It's all Belarusian to him.
With the season over before it really started, what will the boys do? Can Sean stay on the straight and narrow? Will Tony open his own private gin-joint? Or will they both follow Parky to the promised land?
Dressed in individually designed hazmat suits, the boys are facing their own harsh examinations and probing for answers. Together with the League they're being put to the test. Will the results be positive?
Tony's frothing, Parky's champing at the bit and Sean has stocked up on toilet paper but don't worry, they aren't infected by anything other than excitement. The lads are eager and reaching fever pitch in anticipation of the new footy season.
Only one week to go before the competition proper kicks off. Tony's jack high, Sean has been 'man-managed' and Parky's been rubbed-down. The Rugby League Apologists are getting excited, or are they just delirious?
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We are the Rugby League apologists. We have followed footy since we can remember, and love the game warts and all.