The Grand Life: Wholehearted Grandparenting: Recent Episodes
Emily Morgan, Author and Grandparent
Grandparenting with our whole hearts takes time and intention. This podcast entertains, educates, and enlightens grandparents who want to become the best they can be. Author Emily Morgan hosts an exploration of grandparenting, the relationships within the role, and the ways in which our grandparenting impacts our children--and their children.
Sometimes, due to death, illness, or incarceration, your adult child just can't be a parent to your grandchildren. Capable and engaged grandparents can make all the difference, unless someone else blocks that relationship. You can take this to court: many states give explicit rights to grandparents that many of them do not know much about. Family law attorney Yoninah Orenstein talks through a particular case of hers that shines a light on the problem and gives advice on how to solve it.
Our guest is from the law firm of Flaster Greenberg.
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This is a quick preview of the episode we're pulling together for later in May. The topic is grandparents' legal right to have access to their grandchildren. In most states, these rights do exist--you just need to understand them, if in a difficult circumstance you would need to exercise them.
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After months of one-a-week and years of podcasting, Emily and Mike are changing the tempo and starting a new endeavor, Speak-E-Z--a grandparent-confidentila online meeting series. Come join us at our Patreon page for Speak-E-Z .
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We in the Club Sandwich Generation are caring for our aging parents as well as our kids and grandkids. Many of those aging parents want to "age in place," in homes that aren't properly set up for older folks to live alone. Architect Paul Spite has written about how to navigate these changes, like modifying a home to help our elders age in place, and to soften the pride and resistance that can get in the way.
RESOURCES
Paul's book is Renovations to Enable Aging in Place. He's also created a YouTube video summarizing his book.
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Imagine having a book club with your grands--doesn't that sound like fun? Emily and Mike visit with a mother-and-son team who literally co-wrote the book on how to do this, from inside a book club that met for 11 years (until their kids left for college).
RESOURCES
Michelle and Ronan McCann are two of the authors of "Reading Together," available here.
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When infant grands come to visit, do they need baby gear you no longer have? BabyQuip to the rescue. Mike and Emily talk with Kelly Inglett, a provider for BabyQuip, a service that can rent you exactly what you need, where and when you need it. Their web presence is here, and there are links there to their mobile app for iOS and Android.
BabyQuip is offering our listeners a promo code, TGL20, to save $20 off any reservation of $100 or more. (Not an affiliate link, does not benefit us--only you!)
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Author Diana Raab's passion is to help others discover the transformative power of memoir writing. She's written 13 books herself along her own journey of healing from her difficult past. We talk with Diana about her life and her latest book. Learn more at her web site.
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Gloria Horsley and Frank Powers are a pair! Therapists, co-authors, each previously married, and now dating, they're generous advocates of finding love later in life. Their helpful new book "Open to Love: The Secrets of Senior Dating" launches on Valentine's Day. We had a fun conversation with these lively, open-hearted grandparents. Their book is available here.
Find out more about them at datingdoctors.org and their mission to support surviving spouses at opentohope.com .
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Dave Grunenwald has created a merit badge programs for grandparents to pursue with their grands. Suited for both one-on-one and group activities, it's a resource to help us put more focus and intention into our time with our grands. See examples, and explore his book series, at https://www.grandparentmeritbadges.com .
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Filmmaker Melissa Davey is back with the story of her next film, "Climbing Into Life," about the oldest woman to scale El Capitan in Montana. Both the producer and her subject bring loads of inspiration for all of us.
Learn more about Melissa's first doc, "Beyond Sixty," here, as well the trailer for her new film.
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If you've watched much HSN or QVC, you may have seen or even bought clothing with the Diane Gilman label, the "Jean Queen" of tele-retail. Her new book is "Too Young to Be Old," and you'll likely agree with her after you hear our conversation with her. Diane's book is for sale at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1637554532, and her web site and story are at thedianegilman.com
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This year, the emotional center of the Morgans' holiday gatherings shifted from the grandparent's home to that of their adult children. Emotions are more mixed than giblet gravy.
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Combining your pets and your grands can be chaotic, even scary--for both the animals and the small humans. Because it can go very badly, we must know our animals well and plan ahead for the good of all. Ellie Laks runs several animal rescue farms and is an expert in animal communication; her advice is practical, tender, and fascinating.
Learn more about Ellie's farms and her talents at www.gentlebarn.org and ellielaks.com.
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Emily and Mike welcome back Dr. Emily Williams, a counselor and therapist, for some advice on how to navigate the choppy waters of holidays and family relations. Her website is https://www.silvermaplepsychology.com.
For more on the topic of touchy conversations with the parents of your grandchildren, check out our episode titled "The Hard Things."
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Our 150th episode is a celebration, a look back at the top topics we've covered in the first 149. We recorded this one with a live audience in Williamsburg, Virginia. We even hired a stand-up comedian to warm up the audience--and he's 9!
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Emily and Mike share ideas from fans of the podcast on giving gifts for grandchildren at the holidays. We also talk with a charter sailing captain about the idea of giving your grands experiences, especially ones that include you. Our guest is Captain Robert of 757 Sailing Charters on the Virginia coast.
For more on gifts for grands, check out these two previous episodes of our podcast:
--"Enough is as Good as a Feast," about the cost tradeoffs between buying and shipping
--"Overbuying," exploring why we're tempted to spend too much
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Emily's November article about podcast listening, published in the online magazine Next Avenue (nextavenue.org), invites readers to sample The Grand Life. This episode is a quick orientation for new visitors.
Emily's article: https://www.nextavenue.org/what-podcast-listening-brings-to-the-table/
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ABC Television's reality show "The Golden Bachelor" seeks to enrich the lives of older singles, but seems to do so at the expense of their grandchildren. Emily and Mike have some thoughts about this and what it might say to the rest of us.
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Kathy Buckworth is a radio and podcast host (and grandmother) near Toronto, Ontario. Kathy patiently answers our burning questions about Canadians, their politeness, and their maple syrup.
Episode Notes
Cathy Buckworth's radio program airs weekly on Zoomer Radio in Canada, with enough AM power to reach into the Central Northeastern US. The rest of us can hear her on the Go To Grandma podcast.
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It might be time for you to recheck your estate planning, because things change with time. Our chat with an elder law specialist might help you get motivated. You don't have to enjoy the process, but you really should do it.
Notes: The National Association of Elder Law Attorneys, naela.org, can help you find an attorney in your state who can help.
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How present are you when you grandparent? Samantha Reynolds is a Certified Conscious Parenting coach. Her book, "Help Me Be Me," is available at her web site, http://www.samanthareynolds.ca .
Notes
- Samantha credits learnings from Dr. Shefali, whose details and books are at https://www.drshefali.com/
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Emily and Mike discuss what happens when grandparents become too busy or too burdened and approach burnout.
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Grandparents can provide great support to adult children going through a divorce. Emily and Mike talk with Leah, a single mom who has been through it herself. Leah is now a coach, driven by a passion to help women and their families through divorce.
Learn more about her work at https://www.leahgiaquintacoaching.com
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Capturing your family's stories, pictures, and media is a ton of work! Fortunately there are professionals who can help. Andrew Hall from No Story Lost talks about the work behind capturing and preserving a family's story.
His company is at https://nostorylost.com.
If you'd like to dig deeper on this, give a listen to these earlier episodes:
"Capture Your History" with Dr. Elizabeth Keating (S6E39)
"The Power of Story, Part 1" with memoirist Felicia Chang
"The Power of Story, Part 2" with a grandfather focused on sharing stories with grands
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Emily and Mike touch base with listeners on why ratings and reviews matter, the worrisome career choice of Social Media Influencer (depicted on this week's episode art), and how exactly to leave a podcast review on an iPhone.
Please share your comments by email at grandlifeconnection@gmail.com or by voice at (317) 572-7876.
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Some of us will be fortunate enough to see the results of intentional grandparenting in the lives of our older grands. Meet Zach Samalonis, a twentysomething who cared for and grew from his grandparents' struggles and influences. Stan Samalonis and Zach, age 8, grace the cover art for this episode.
Zach's personal story is highlighted on his portfolio web site, https://www.zachsamdesigns.com/.
We met Zach through this article about his aviation camp experiences written by his mom for the website NextAvenue.
To hear more from us on this theme, check out our earlier episode, "Do Grandparents Matter?" (It's one of Mike's all-time favorites.)
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Author and anthropologist Helen Ellis returns for an update with Emily and Mike about her books and research on being distance grandparent and a distance grandchild. Helen's books are available here on her website, distancefamilies.com.
For more on this subject, check out earlier episodes:
Global Grandparenting, Part 1
Global Grandparenting, Part 2
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Grandparents who live with the emotional consequences of trauma find it tough sometimes to be their best selves to their grands and adult children. John Henry Parker specializes in coming alongside veterans and helping them through personal transformation, using tools and ideas that apply to non-veterans as well.
RESOURCES
- Email our guest at johnhenry@harvestingwisdom.com
- Take the Adverse Childhood Experiences Questionnaire at truesage.com, and the Communications Survey at https://harvestingwisdom.com/communication-survey/.
- John Henry's books areand "Be The Dawn In the Darkness" at https://www.amazon.com/Be-Dawn-Darkness-Relentless-Becoming/dp/1544536488 and "Transitioning Veterans," https://transitioningveteransbook.com/
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Many grandparents help fund needs (and wants) of their adult children and grands. This is dangerous territory, given the shortfall in retirement savings for many grandparents. Emily and Mike hear the bottom line from a financial educator, Cyrus Bamji, with the Alliance for Lifetime Income, which educates savers on a range of approaches to funding in retirement.
Other episodes on this topic include "Overbuying" and "Grandmothers at Work."
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Learn how to upgrade the way you listen, so you can learn more from your grands in your conversations with them. "Transformational Listening" is the technique explained by consultant and coach Christine Miles. Her book is called "What is It Costing You Not To Listen?," and her company is called Equipt. Visit www.equipt-people.com.
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As some of our grands head to school for the very first time, we could imagine what it's like for them; or we could talk to an experienced preschool teacher, Chrissy Cox, which we did last year. Here's a new look at this great conversation (with some new ideas before and after) about school days for our youngest grands.
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A lifetime of stuff can be a challenge to pass on, throw out, or leave behind as a burden to your family. Emily and Mike welcome Stephanie Denson, an organization consultant who helps people work through those lifetime accumulations. Learn more about her work at https://www.spiritandspacellc.com.
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Talking about family, with family, can get tricky. Triangulation happens when three are in the conversation--and while it's not always a bad thing, it certainly can be. Psychologist Dr. Emily Williams helps us navigate this choppy sea.
Find out more about our guest and her practice here.
More Than Grand (affiliate link) can help you build great, enduring bonds with your grands and their parents (who are essential to your success!) Use the coupon code GRANDLIFE to save 10% off your order.
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Social anthropologist Dr. Lyndsey Farrell talks with Emily and Mike about how grandmothers can be a powerful force for multigenerational change, based on work she did in Africa and resources from her Grandmother Collective.
RESOURCES
- Lyndsey's site is https://www.grandmothercollective.org/
- Mentioned: Marc Freedman, "How To Live Forever: The Enduring Power of Connecting the Generations." See https://www.amazon.com/How-Live-Forever-Connecting-Generations/dp/1541767810
- Freedman's company is https://cogenerate.org/.
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Emily and Mike recap their extended grand-sitting gig with a charming, challenging toddler. Spoiler: everyone survived.
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Capture your family history from those who lived it, before it's too late. Emily interviews Dr. Elizabeth Keating, author of The Essential Questions: Interview Your Family to Uncover Stories and Bridge Generations. Her book is available here and at other bookstores and online sources.
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Most of our grands love stories, don't they? Listening Pond is a podcast full of stories "for kids and their adults," says Asa Gauen, co-creator of this series of fanciful stories in a podcast you can share with your grands.
"Dragons Are Always Lucky" and its cover art appear courtesy of Listening Pond. Find it on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and on other podcatchers.
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"It takes a village" to raise kids, and we are becoming that village for our toddler grandson while his parents take a long vacation. And how do we feel about this awesome responsibility? Mixed.
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Emily and Mike dig into two risks from the cyberworld that impact grandparents. One is how you use it to share about your grands...and the other is how it uses you, when the bad guys get help from Artificial Intelligence.
These were mentioned in the episode, if you'd like to learn more:
July 1, 2019 “Facebook Fail” The Grand Life Podcast S1E7
Kate Lindsay, “The First Social-Media Babies Are Growing Up—And They’re Horrified” The Atlantic web, 5/23/23 (may require subscription)
Sharyn Alfonsi, “How con artists use AI, Apps, social engineering to target parents, grandparents for theft.” 60 Minutes 5/21/2023
Christina Ianzito, “Chatbots and Voice-Cloning Fuel Rise in AI-Powered Scams,” AARP.Com, April 17, 2023.
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Being a mindful grandparent is the expertise of author and educator Shirley Showalter, who returns with big ideas from her latest book, The Mindful Grandparent, written with Marilyn McEntire and available online here.
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Emily and Mike have made it out and back on a test visit up the East Coast to grandkids and an aging parent, relying on mass transit on wheels, not wings. It was a revelation, an education, and a confirmation. Hear what they learned in this "field report" on their big test run.
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From their new home served by an Amtrak line, Mike and Emily plan a train trip to visit grands--which reminds them of an episode about toy trains as a way to bond with grandchildren. Their guest, Mr. Muffin, has a YouTube channel, "Mr. Muffin's Trains," where you can see his amazing collection of O-gauge model trains.
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Emily and Mike take their own guests' advice in this rewind to a 2020 episode about what they just did: relocate to be near grands! The advice they gave us was good then. Now it's way more real.
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Moving Day has left its mark, so Emily and Mike provide a report on their relocation. Also we revisit part of an episode about being in "the room where it happens:" the Delivery Room when a grandchild is born. Inside the room our outside it, this also leaves a mark.
SHOW NOTES
Here are details on our guests in this episode:
Midwife Mairi Breen Rothman is part of a group practice, http://mamasmidwives.com. They have a Facebook page, MAMASMidwives. If you'd like to see Mairi in action, Voice of America produced a 28-minute documentary film about her and the topic of home birth at https://www.voanews.com/a/4671481.html.
The Grand Life spoke with Dr. Becky Haak just after she returned from medical missionary work in Mozambique. See https://www.samaritanspurse.org/article/emergency-field-hospital-opens-expanding-medical-care-in-mozambique/ .
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If perhaps you forgot about our episode on remembering and forgetting, we'll help you! While our podcast studio is still out of commission, here's a "rewind" to this Season 4 interview with a neurologist and a psychologist who give us some hope about our aging brains.
Dr. Francine Toder's book is "The Vintage Years: Finding Your Inner Artist (Writer, Musician, Visual Artist) After Sixty." She also has a website, doctoder.com.
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While our studio is out of commission for a few weeks, we're inviting listeners of The Grand Life to revisit an episode about the talk all families need to have if guns are kept where kids might discover them.
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Many grandparents hope their children and grands will adopt their faith tradition and carry it generationally forward. Author Richard Olson offers trends and suggestions in his book The Grandparent Vocation: Wisdom, Legacies, and Spiritual Growth, and in this episode, Emily and Mike invite his wisdom and advice for you. His book is available at the link above from the publisher, and online.
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Emily and Mike reconnect with Dr. Kerry Byrne, founder of The Long-Distance Grandparent, a resource with research and ideas to keep relationships with grands vibrant and healthy, including a special message they need to hear from you. Kerry has a title for you: Grand Encouragement Officer. (That's a hint at the message.)
We have a special request: call us at (317) 572-7876 and talk to us about about sharing your faith with your grands. Have you? How did you go about it? In hindsight, good idea or bad? It's for our March 24 episode.
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Bonding with your grandchildren over music is such a joy. Music as one part of a multisensory experience is the subject of this conversation with composer/pianist Murray Hidary, who advocates for the connectedness that music can produce.
Murray's performance experiences are explained (and his concert schedule) is at www.mindtravel.com, and his free coloring/drawing meditation booklet is here. His schedule of upcoming virtual live experiences is here.
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Grandpa Grace is smelling the roses in this week's photo, provided by Aaron Larsen, the guest on this episode. His grandparents were his housemates for a time, and they are what's behind his Grandparents Academy.
Aaron's portfolio of resources is below.
Website: https://www.grandparentsacademy.com
Course Catalog: https://www.grandparentsacademy.com/catalog
Free Weekly Activity Download: https://training.grandparentsacademy.com/resource
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/grandparentsacademy
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/grandparentsacademy
Grandparents Week: www.grandparentsweek.com
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Emily and Mike will soon have teenage grandchildren, so they welcome back Jerry Witkovsky and Deanna Schlosser to dig into their book Where Two Worlds Meet: A Guide to Connecting with Your Teenage Grandchildren. Find their book on that really big online bookstore here and at their website, GrandparentsUnleashed.com.
For more ideas and resources, see our earlier episode on Grandparenting Teens: https://omny.fm/shows/thegrandlife/grandparenting-teens
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Emily and Mike file a report on their trip to a land filled with vacationing grandchildren--but none of them were ours. Instead we watched grandparents serving their families. They weren't wearing superhero capes, but they deserved to.
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Confirming... we're out of office for a week.
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Memories of how things feel when we touch them may not be as prevalent, but they may be more durable. Emily and Mike explore this final of the five senses with Ahyoung, the designer behind Joah Love, a line of soft and comfy clothing for grands and grandparents.
Visit http://www.joahlove.com and use the discount code GRANDLIFE to receive 25% off your purchase. Good through end of 2023.
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Continuing with the five senses, what are we doing when we recall something we saw with our grandparents? Brain science has a surprising answer. And your responses to our question about the mental images you associate with your own grandparents are a work of art!
EPISODE NOTES
An article from the NY Times website covered selfies.
Radiolab from WNYC public radio covered Memory and Forgetting in 2007. Highly recommended.
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Think back on a taste associated with your grandparents. Does it bring up a memory, an emotion, or...a place? Emily and Mike share listener feedback about the the third of the five senses, how it connects to their grandparents, and the mission of exploring new tastes with our grandchildren.
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The second part of our series on the five senses deals with sound: what sounds do you associate with your grandparents, and how can you choose and emphasize sounds to mark your time with your own grands? Emily and Mike listen to a dozen evocative sounds recalled by listeners, which may evoke memories of your own.
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Our grands will remember us through their sensory experiences with us, and none more powerfully than the smells they encounter and remember. You gave us dozens of examples from your own experience, which we present in this episode. Who says you can't hear a smell?
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Grandparents have been known to go all out, and then some, when it comes to buying gifts for their grands. Where does that impulse come from, and what (if anything) should be done about it? Mike and Emily go deep on this one, like picking at the corner of loose wallpaper. (There's a story behind that--give a listen.)
Give a listen to The Cool Grandpa Podcast with Greg Payne: all episodes (here), and the one with Mike and Emily here.
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What's it like in preschool for our grands? Emily and Mike talk with Crissy Cox, who teaches preschoolers in an Indiana public school. She clearly, bravely, and kindly shares a sense of the world our grands inhabit, with some advice on how we can help.
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Gentle Parenting may be in use by your adult children, and you may need to bone up on it in order to keep with the program when you are taking care of your grands. Emily and Mike talk with DeeDee of the grandparenting blog and resource site More Than Grand.
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Mike and Emily give thanks for you, our audience; provide updates on our guests who have done cool things; and share ideas for Thanksgiving traditions.
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Emily and Mike chill with Greg Payne, host of The Cool Grandpa Podcast, and work out what that label might mean. You can reach Greg at his website, or by email here.
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Have you considered you and an adult child of yours "best friends?"
Attributions: the original artwork from P.D. Eastman's "Are You My Mother?", and Gilmore Girls, original series presently streaming on Netflix. Both appear here under U.S. copyright fair use practices.
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Imagine raising twins, then having one of them honor you with triplet grandchildren! Emily and Mike talk with Roxanne, mother of twin boys and grandmother of triplets. When you have more grands than hands, it gets hard to keep it/them together.
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When something goes a little wrong when you're taking care of your grands, do you go into full-disclosure mode with their parents, or do you play it down? How do you decide? Emily and Mike discuss a recent, um, event.
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The grands came over for game night--which came with a side course of tears and drama. Let them win? Teach them how to lose? We talk with a serious grandma-gameplayer and friend of the podcast, Donne Davis.
Donne's virtual community is The GaGa Sisterhood, www.gagasisterhood.com .
Emily mentions a blog post worth reading, 7 Ways to Teach Kids Failure Is a Great Thing, https://biglifejournal.com/blogs/blog/help-kids-overcome-fear-failure
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Do your grands use sound machines to help them sleep? In a generation we've gone from driving fussy babies in cars and running noisy vacuum cleaners near their cribs, to personal sound-emitting devices...and from improvised to ubiquitous. Also, we've got a walker!
The white noise podcast mentioned (there are several) is available on many podcatchers and on the web: https://www.relaxingwhitenoise.com. (This is not an endorsement, just an example.)
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As grandparents, who has the greater claim on our flexible time: ourselves, or our descendants? Does loving our grands well mean giving them the first and the best of the time we have left? Emily and Mike talk about how we spend our time remaining, along with author and educator (and time-juggler!) Shirley Showalter.
Shirley's books include The Mindful Grandparent: The Art of Loving Our Children's Children.
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When it comes to your grands, are you a lip-kisser or a cheek-kisser... or do you ask before you move in close? Your grands' parents may look at physical affection differently, which is this episode's main topic. Also, This Week In Grandparenting brings along the animated character Bluey, whose party game "Pass The Parcel" headlined a granddaughter's birthday party. Find out more at www.bluey.tv. It streams on Disney+, YouTubeTV, and others.
(Back in the Long Ago, when we passed secret notes in class, S.W.A.K. = Sealed With A Kiss.)
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Emily and Mike work through the duality of holding close (like some grandkids naturally do!) and letting go (as we age). Sometimes holding close is easy and natural, and letting go is hard. When we age, everything gets harder, but it's vital to make and maintain connections.
Emily's special guest returns from the previous episode: filmmaker Melissa Davey, who produced The Beyond Sixty Project. Her film is now streaming on several platforms--have a look!
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Creating new traditions is a fun way to put energy and closeness into the relationship you build with your grands. Emily and Mike run through a list of suggestions and place a Birthday Date Phone Call to a growing little girl. Plus: This Week In Grandparenting.
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When Mike turned seven, back in the 60s, he was rude with his new puppet to his party guests. Likewise with Emily when she turned six. (Listen in for the shocking details.) But what if they had rehearsed party protocol with their parents first? It has become a thing. Plus, we consider "staging" near an elder parent before the needs becomes critical.
The cover art, Rowlf and Mike, is a transfer from Super8 home movies...a Kodak moment for sure.
Emily mentions an article from The Atlantic.com, "The Strange Origins of American Birthday Celerations." A fun read!
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Host Emily Morgan and her husband Mike restart The Grand Life as a way of celebrating their 40th anniversary. This time--this season--it'll be more chatty, with more about the heart than the head.
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Emily, with her husband and producer Mike, explain why it's time to wrap production on The Grand Life Podcast. Emily is full of gratitude for scores of guests, thousands of listeners, and tens of thousands of downloads... but, it's time.
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In the final podcast episode of Season 5, Emily and Mike chat about the challenges of talking with grandchildren--when we have so much to tell them! How do our long lives and rich experiences count the most when we are in conversation with our grands?
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Author and lecturer Dr. Rebecca Rolland talks with Emily about the key ideas in her book The Art of Talking With Children. You'll find in her words some great nuggets of advice when talking WITH, not TO, your grandchildren.
Contact Dr. Rolland through her website or on Twitter, @rolland_rg. She talked with Emily about these books for your grands: The Book With No Pictures, B.J. Novak We're Going on a Bear Hunt, Michael Rosen Ways to Make Sunshine, Renee Watson
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Emily and husband/producer Mike talk through the experiences of connecting with distant grands using offshoots of the Picturephone, shown in our cover art (a 1964 magazine ad for AT&T). Whether you use Facebook Portal, FaceTime, Zoom, or something else, faces are important on both sides of the connection. Plus, "The Stretch It Takes" deals with how we flex into that communications future.
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Emily visits with podcast fan Kim from Dallas and learns about a particular kind of "picturephone," the Facebook Portal, that has brought her long-distance grandkids closer.
Kim's book recommendations included Are You My Mother? by P.D. Eastman and The Aminal by Lorna & Lecia Balian.
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Emily and her husband/producer Mike chat about the recent live video episode on cooking with grands (replay here on YouTube). Also, a listener provides a guest essay for "The Stretch It Takes" on a grand camp that included cooking, with cool ideas on what you can do for your own.
The recipes for our cooking live video show are here.
John and Patty, Two Chefs In The Kitchen, do a twice-monthly live cooking show on the streaming video service Beamz--you can sign up for their free series here.
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Our first live video podcast episode, "Cooking With Your Grands," was live on Saturday, Feb. 5 at 12 noon ET. The replay is available on YouTube.
Here are the recipes for the live episode, compliments of our Two Chefs:
EASY MARINARA
2 - 28 oz. cans Tomato Sauce
¼ cup Extra Virgin Olive Oil
3 tbsp. Onion, minced
Salt & freshly ground Black Pepper, to taste
¼ tsp. dried basil
1/8 tsp. dried oregano
¼ tsp. dried parsley
¼ tsp. Garlic powder
Parmesan rind
Heat oil in a large saucepan over medium heat. Add onion and cook for 3 minutes.
Add sauce, spices, parmesan rind and ½ cup water.
Raise heat, bring to a boil then lower heat and simmer for about 15 minutes.
Taste and adjust seasoning if necessary.
RICOTTA GNOCCHI
2 Eggs
1 1/3 cups Instant Potatoes
1 cups Water, hot tap water
3 ½ cups All-Purpose Flour
Salt
½ lb. Ricotta Cheese
In a mixing bowl combine the potato flakes and hot water and set aside for 3-5-minutes.
When the potatoes have absorbed the water add in the ricotta cheese and eggs. Next slowly add the flour and a dash of salt until it forms a dough. Cover with plastic wrap and let rest for 15 minutes.
NOTE: you may not use all the flour.
When dough has rested – on a floured board, roll out into rope shapes then cut into 1-inch pieces. Using two fingers, make an indent on each piece of gnocchi then let rest on the board while you bring a pot of water to a boil.
When the water is at a rolling boil, add a palmful of salt and stir. Add the gnocchi and gently stir. When the gnocchi rise to the top, cook 1 minute long then remove to a bowl…add sauce and sprinkle with cheese and serve.
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Emily and Mike discuss, em, guest digestive privacy after the last episode on food allergies... and the upcoming live video episode on Feb. 5 with Two Chefs in The Kitchen stars John and Patty. Plus, "The Stretch It Takes" is about the sudden transition from losing a family elder to being the eldest in the family.
The Grand Life's live video podcast episode, "Cooking With Your Grands," is open to you and your friends on Saturday, Feb. 5 at 12 noon ET. While "seating" is limited, there's no charge and no need to register in advance! Just join at this link when it's time.
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Emily gets the full story plus some good advice from Kelli, an experienced young mom whose son has an assortment of food allergies. Grands can learn from their adult kids when cooking and caring for grands with this special challenge. Also, Emily's essay The Stretch It Takes thinks back to when her oldest child was dealing with this, unbeknownst to everyone: "Why Didn't Somebody Tell Us?"
Kelli talks up two resources for grandparents: a downloadable emergency care plan to print and have handy if needed, and suggested food allergy mobile device apps that can help you keep your food-allergic grands safe.
Kelli's kids are reading and loving... books by Mo Willems, including those featuring The Knuffle Bunny and Elephant and Piggy the Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordan; and the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling.
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Emily's guest is the host of Adventures With Grammy, podcaster Carolyn Berry, who's a lover of genealogy, travel, children's books, and sharing her own memories with her grands.
Carolyn and Emily talked about these children's books and authors: --Pat the Bunny --Where The Wild Things Are --Dr. Seuss --P.D. Eastman --The Nancy Drew series
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Emily and Mike chat through Episode 11 and explore some alternatives to New Year's Resolutions...because what if, after you've resolved, you still don't get it right?
Mike quotes from The Atlantic and "New Year's Resolutions Are Not the Vibe for 2022" by Faith Hill.
The Stretch It Takes mentions the book Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old. You might also check out A Beginners Guide to the End and Being Mortal.
Wanting more on this topic? The excellent podcast and public radio show Freakonomics recently dropped "Does Death Have to be a Death Sentence?" featuring the author to the Beginners Guide book above.
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Emily has been alongside as her father nears the end of his life, inspiring a new resolution.
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Emily reconvenes with two FOPs (friends of the podcast!), DeeDee of More Than Grand and Dr. Kerry Byrne of The Long Distance Grandparent, to share and compare their resolutions for the new year.
Consider this free online resource, GRAND, "the lifestyle magazine for living the ageless life."
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Emily and Mike talk about ways you can help each of your grandchildren feel special, and feel like a team. In The Stretch It Takes, Emily's essay looks at gifts from her grandmother that are leaving a legacy. Lots of ideas and advice in this episode!
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Don't feel bad if you occasionally forget a grandchild's name. You probably don't have 24 of them, like Mike and Tina will soon have! They are Emily's guests in this episode, exploring a life when grands are counted by the dozen.
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Emily Morgan and her husband/producer Mike chat about food traditions, some retained and others cast off over the generations. Plus, Emily's essay on how marriage affects a family's food traditions.
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Food can become the focus of family holiday gatherings. Good food makes for happy memories...but some of her podcast guests remember more "yuck" than "yum." Emily revisits the food tradition stories of her guests, digging in to foods, fables, and families.
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Emily and Mike chat about having The Talk about guns and grands, stunned to realize they never had it themselves when their grown children were young enough to go exploring and find their granddad's guns. Also, Emily's essay on a shoe store, a toy gun, and a frightened mother.
Our podcast friend DeeDee at More Than Grand has released a free resource you might like, "A Grandparent's Guide to Happy Holidays."
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In case you're a gun-owning grandparent and have not yet had The Talk with your adult children about having the guns and grands in the house at the same time... this one's for you. Emily spent time with a mom and her adult son who suddenly needed to have that talk, then did so in exemplary form. Their story is a model and a lesson for grandparents.
Learn more about Emily's guest, Chandra White-Cummings, at her website https:////www.cwcmediagroup.com.
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Mike and Emily talk through what it means for grandparents to "Begin With Yes," the book by author Paul Boynton, who was Emily's guest from the previous episode. Plus, Emily's essay about growing up around, and beneath, lots of "no."
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"Begin With Yes" is a powerful place to start almost anything. Emily talks with author Paul S. Boynton, whose book by that title has special application to grandparenting: many of us are already spring-loaded to say "yes" to our grands; perhaps a balancing act is a good idea. As are pancakes with real maple syrup! (Details are in the episode.)
Paul's books and many other affirming, enriching resources are available at his website, beginwithyes.com.
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Emily and husband/producer Mike Morgan have a dinner-table-style discussion about the last episode ,which dealt with with Gray Divorce. Plus, Emily's essay series "The Stretch It Takes" resumes with a search for something she'd left behind.
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"Home Will Never Be the Same Again" is the title of a book describing the phenomenon of gray divorce, which is becoming more common--and throwing adult children for a loop. Emily talks with authors Carol Hughes and Bruce Fredenberg about their book that details the collateral damage of divorce after 50. Their book is available online in both print and audio formats.
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With Season 5 of The Grand Life starting just weeks away, here's another bonus episode to keep you updated on topics that are "popping up" on network TV, in books, and in certain Christmas crafts popular with the grandchildren (and which contain zero actual gingerbread).
Our guest Dr. Karl Pillemer, speaking on Estrangement in our Season 3, was recently on CBS Sunday Morning. See the story at https://www.cbsnews.com/video/when-family-bonds-are-broken/ .
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Emily gives updates on the birth of Grandchild #10, and how she helped out with the young family. Plus, a look ahead at some Season Five episodes.
Our daughter-in-law is a super-intentional eater, both personally and professionally. Learn more at prothymia.com.
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What's your favorite? While still on break, Emily sends out a bonus episode with updates on several of her guests accomplishing great things, and takes a look back at a few favorite episodes. If you missed them, give a listen! Links below:
Surrogate Grandparenting, Part 2
Estrangement
Do Grandparents Matter?
Overcoming "Disabilities"
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Emily wraps up Season Four with personal stories from her recent guests about sleepovers with their grandparents. There's a wide range of experiences, and you may find your own echoed among them. Also, sit in on a "board meeting" with Emily and producer/husband Mike that maps out some neat changes ahead for The Grand Life.
EPISODE NOTES
Emily's asking you to Like, Rate, and Review wherever possible, and wherever you get your podcasts. Here are some specific suggestions: LIKE the podcast's Facebook page. There's a "Like" thumbs-up icon near the top of the page LIKE individual episodes posted on the Facebook page. There's a "Like" button on each post/episode. RATE the podcast and individual episodes in the podcast app on your mobile device you use for listening (such as Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and Podchaser). It's usually done by assigning stars (five's a good number!). Write a REVIEW the podcast in your podcast app, which is separate from RATING. If you liked it, say why. If you didn't, let us know so we can get better.
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Emily speaks with author Molly Beth Griffin, author of Ten Beautiful Things, a children's book which deals with helping a grand develop a sense of gratitude in a tough time. Emily's essay explores how and why her gratitude has ebbed and flowed over her lifetime.
EPISODE NOTES
The author's web site is www.mollybethgriffin.com.
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Did your parents raise to to be an activist? Emily's guest had that experience, and did it ever take root in her! Joan Ditzion is a leader of the Feminist Movement through her work on the landmark book "Our Bodies, Our Selves." Now a grandmother, she's passing it on.
EPISODE NOTES
Joan led the team who wrote "Our Bodies Our Selves," and today numerous resources are available at ourbodiesourselves.org, including a blog, the current (2011) edition of the book itself, and special editions focused on pregnancy/birth and menopause.
Emily mentioned her recent basement remodel and that window through which imaginings will pass. Here's that play area under the basement stairs:
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Emily talks with two millennials, a teacher and a parent, about how their music has stemmed from their parents and grandparents, and about the form it's taken in their students and children.
EPISODE NOTES
Emmy Bodner teaches in Clarksville (Ind.) Community Schools. Her school's video of "We Are The World" is on YouTube--and as of July, 2021 is approaching half a million views!
Ben Kaufman mentions two pieces worth your time: Take Five by Dave Brubek, and the Trout Quintet by Franz Schubert (links are to YouTube.)
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If music defines you to any degree, then you probably love sharing your music with your grands--playing it, or just listening to tunes. This episode begins a short series on playing and sharing music as a grandparent. Plus, Emily's essay: The Stretch It Takes this week is fearlessly sharing your musical side with your grands.
EPISODE NOTES
Emily's guest, Elaine Serling, writes and records music that encourages children in the Jewish faith. Find out more at her website.
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We end our three-part series on faith formation in grandchildren by hearing from two Christians who take somewhat different approaches: one who feels a heavy burden to guide young people toward his faith, and another who has written a new children's book to help grandparents explain who God is.
EPISODE NOTES
Author Jennifer Grant is on the web at http://www.jennifergrant.com. Her books are available through her publisher at https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/author/6850/Jennifer-Grant.
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A working mother from the Muslim faith talks with Emily how her own parents and grandparents worked out their faith, even now influencing her and her children's faith journeys. Plus, in The Stretch It Takes, we learn how Mary Poppins is somewhat responsible for Emily's faith journey.
Emily's book 52 Ways to Worship is available for Amazon Kindle.
THE STRETCH IT TAKES (Emily's Essay): Flying a Kite
My dad was a deacon at the first church I remember going to. Even at age five, I was aware that he promised the church that he wouldn’t smoke, drink, dance, or go to movies. He would also hold his family to the same standard, as head of our household. For a young child, those rules didn’t seem too out of bounds. That is, until the movie “Mary Poppins” came out in 1964. I was in kindergarten then, and there was nothing I wanted more than to see that film. My parents loved me well, and so, the rules were bent. I think they justified it by saying it was a kid’s movie...not the kind that would taint my faith or condemn me to hell. Quite the opposite: I was in heaven by the time the musical overture in the movie theatre had finished.
But now that I look back, maybe it really was the beginning of the end for my faith journey in that particular denomination. Let’s face it, Mary Poppins can lead one to engage in some magical thinking. She made me want to dance in the theatre, and cemented my love of musical theater--and the people who perform it--for a lifetime. It opened my mind to hopping in and out of imaginary spaces. I think my idea of social justice was also formed from the old woman feeding the birds, and my skeptical view of institutions may have started when Mr. Banks was fired for loving his family more than his job.
Maybe the church knew what they were saying when they told my father and his family that going to movies was a slippery slope--even a kid’s movie.
The Mary Poppins movie was always in the back of my brain, even as I continued in the faith for many years. I was a zealot for my faith in my junior high and high school days. I was the girl who would ask people,” if you died today do you know if you would go to heaven or hell?” I went to Bible camps and memorized scripture to earn points. I filled out something called a quiet time diary that my parents read and wrote comments in the margins because they were my youth group leaders at the time. I did all the (good) things. And none of the (bad) ones. LIke Mary Poppins, I was “practically perfect in every way.”
When it was time for college, my parents suggested two options: the local university or the Christian college where both of my sisters attended. I took the bait and went to the Christian college...which was 900 miles from home. But after a short study-abroad program in England, I returned and begged to leave the college. Because in England, I had met many people of faith whose faith looked nothing like my own except for basic truths we both espoused. I was surprised, relieved and on a new journey after that. I did stay the course for four full years at that college, but I began seeking different ways to exercise my faith.
I started embracing the mystery, not the memorized verses. I made friends from different backgrounds. I read different ideas and began to practice critical thinking skills. And I was far from perfect. And then after grad school, I married and had children. By then we were still entrenched in a slightly more liberal church, but it was still quite a conservative one.
Our children would come home with stories from Sunday School about someone washing “blood” off their hands--the metaphorical blood of sin and guilt--and talking about how black their hearts were. I would kind of chuckle at the colorful language of my faith traditions, and comment on how weird it all sounded, but deep down it did bother
me that my children were wading in the hell and damnation pool that I swam in as a child.
All the while, I would “hop in” and out of the idea of leaving my faith tradition, not unlike the chalk paintings Jane and Michael jumped into with Burt the chimney sweep. I warned our children (who BTW loved the close community of their own youth group and leaders) that once they left for college, we would make a quick exit. Yet I kept hopping back into the familiar world of black and white spirituality. I, like our children, loved the people in my church, and it was wrenching to think about leaving. But as time went by, I just couldn’t stay where I was. There was hardly anything about that faith tradition that looked like how I felt.
But I had one more thing to do before leaving it completely.
After the children were grown and gone, my husband and I set out to attend a different house of worship every Sunday for a full year... all different faiths. I set out to really watch and listen. I was done with people who had all the answers. I needed to explore for myself why people worship and what it seemed to mean to them. And I blogged about it, faithfully, for 52 weeks. Meanwhile, my parents worried for my soul’s destiny. What I discovered as I looked into the eyes of Jews, Muslims, Mormons, Universalists, Sihks was that I was only one of many kinds of seekers in the world.
If you are a seeker, you know what I mean. You can see it in people’s eyes...because they are, truly, windows into their soul. And it is comforting to know that while none of us has all the answers, we can always ask the questions.
After a year, I landed back in a church - a different one, but still a church, because that’s who I am at the core. Church is a place to be together. To stand shoulder to shoulder in the mystery. To acknowledge that there is a God out there who is bigger than we are. We need that. And, looking back, I am filled with gratitude for parents who felt protective of my soul. They acknowledged I had one and did their best to nurture it.
And so after all the turmoil about my faith, and in my fight to make it mine, I’m nowhere near ready to spite them by saying go fly a kite. I just wanted a chance to fly my own.
© 2021 Emily Morgan
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How do grandparents influence their grands to inherit their belief system? Emily begins this three-part series with a Jewish grandmother and a Mormon mother for some models and observations on imparting a "faith of origin" to grandchildren.
EPISODE NOTES
Emily's guest Barbara Greenleaf writes in a range of forms, including young-adult fiction and self-help for grandparents. See her work at https://www.barbaragreenleaf.com.
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In the conclusion of the series on aging, host Emily Morgan talks with filmmaker Dana Glaser, who has written and directed A Case of Blue, a story of an aging man who contemplates a series of second chances and finds a clearer view of himself in the process. (Photo: Tom Hussey)
EPISODE NOTES
Our extraordiary cover art for this episode comes from a photo series about reflecting on our younger selves by Dallas photographer Tom Hussey. See the series at tomhussey.com.
Dana's movie is available at https://www.acaseofblue.com.
An earlier film of his that was mentioned is "The Evolution of Dad," a 2010 documentary about fatherhood in the U.S. It's available on DVD or online stream (vimeo.com/ondemand.evolutionofdad).
Congrats to Melissa Davey on her film Beyond Sixty, now widely available on demand through both TV and Internet services. For more info see https://www.beyondsixtyproject.com/watch-now
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Continuing on the topic of aging, Emily explores what grandparents can to to keep their minds working well, well into our later years. Her guest is Dr. Leslie Kernisan, a geritrician whose website Better Health While Aging, is all about doing all we can do, so we can keep doing all that we are able, for as long as we can. (https://betterhealthwhileaging.net)
EPISODE NOTES
Dr. Leslie mentions an article on her site that covers medications that may impair brain function as a side effect: https://betterhealthwhileaging.net/medications-to-avoid-if-worried-about-memory/
She also has written a guidebook to help you care for your aging parents, https://www.amazon.com/Aging-Parent-Needs-Step-Step/dp/173615320X/
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Emily talks with a neurologist and a psychologist about why our brain works the way it works (or doesn’t work, sometimes!) and then what hope we can find in the science behind aging.
EPISODE NOTES
Dr. Francine Toder's book is "The Vintage Years: Finding Your Inner Artist (Writer, Musician, Visual Artist) After Sixty." She also has a website, doctoder.com.
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Did your grandparents have style? Emily asked her guests in Season 4 to recall what defined the styles they remember defining their own grandparents. Also, Emily invites Mike (husband and producer) to preview upcoming topics we'll cover in the rest of this season of The Grand Life.
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Emily sits down with New York Times columnist Paula Span, who has taken her reporting on aging and grandparenting and mixed it with her own experiences as a new grandmother (or Bubbe, as it is in Yiddish). The result is a fun new audiobook that shares what she's learned from a bunch of smart people, including her granddaughter.
Paula's audiobook The Bubbe Diaries is available on Audible. Her columns for theNew York Timesare called "Generation Grandparent."
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Can you start grandparenting before the birth? Absolutely, says Emily's guest Gail Root. She is a student, teacher, and advocate for practices both past and present that acknowledge a pre-born baby's ability to connect with the outside (the womb) world. Also, a check-in on a new web resource for first-time grandparents.
SHOW NOTES
Emily's guest, Gail Root, counsels new grandparents at her web site Root and Wings Parent Coaching.
DeeDee's website, More Than Grand, has released New Grandparents 101. This link applies the discount code GRAND, and you'll receive 10% off your purchase!
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Your relationship with your grands may allow you to spot problems before distracted parents may notice them. Emily talks with author Richard Capriola, who focuses on teens with addictions and gives advice to grandparents who may uncover or suspect addictions or abuse.
EPISODE NOTES
Richard's book is The Addicted Child: A Parent's Guide to Adolescent Substance Abuse.
Emily also mentioned Fern Schumer Chapman's new book on sibling estrangement. If you'd like to learn more about the issues her new book addresses, Fern is recommending this recent story on the topic from broadcast television. Her interview with Emily is in Season 3, Episode 8, "Grandparent Caregivers."
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Emily wraps up the third episode on "the power of stories" with a chat with an executive from Scholastic, Inc.--the source of all those books sold to grade-school students from newsletters and book fairs. Their conversation took place just before World Read-Aloud Day, which framed their talk about grandparents reading aloud to their grands.
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Continuing the theme from last episode, Emily speaks with a 93-year-old grandfather, author, and active advocate of capturing and then "unleashing" grandparent stories. His creative partner in their website adds helpful details about a program that helps grands become powerful and prolific story-makers.
SHOW NOTES
Jerry and Deanna's website is grandparentsunleashed.com, and Jerry's book is The Grandest Love, available here.
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How well do your grands know your story? Emily travels (virtually) to Trinidad to speak with Felicia Chang, a professional in the area of capturing the personal stories of our families, with a special emphasis our elders. Your story has worth and power...and is of priceless value to your grands.
EPISODE NOTES
Felicia Chang's TEDx Talk about how the stories of our loved ones connect us all is here. Her business has a web site and a Facebook page. This is Felicia with her dear grandmother, the subject of her movie and the inspiration of her view on capturing stories.
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Continuing last episode's theme, this time Emily talks with a grandparent in the US and a parent in France whose extended relationships span oceans, languages, and cultures. Adventure seasoned with selflessness is the recipe.
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Back in Season 2, we did an episode on Long-Distance Grandparenting which proved to be a popular subject. When the distances are really long--international--you'd think it would be harder. The pandemic has made distance less of a factor that it once was, so experienced global grandparents can teach lessons almost all of us can apply.
EPISODE SHOW NOTES
Learn more about Emily's guest, author Helen Ellis, at https://www.distancefamilies.com. Her book will be out in April, 2021.
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Some grandparents have the time, talent, and access to become directly involved with their grands' education. Emily talks with two grandparents and a teacher who have done or seen this firsthand, which may give you ideas on how to approach this in your extended family.
SHOW NOTE
Learn more about Emily's third guest, Sandra Williams, from her website and her book, Lullabelle and Friends' Parent Guide.
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Grandparents can play a range of roles in their grands' education. In Part 1 on this topic, Emily talks with a retired teacher whose journey through racial segregation in the 1950s shaped her commitment to supporting the schooling of her descendants. Emily's essay is a revealing self-portrait of a third grader, a pen pal, and a missed opportunity
Emily's guest Kaaren Rodman provides details on her family's scholarship:
"Our family has set up a scholarship that is awarded through the Indianapolis Urban League. Mike and I did smaller grants for several years in the 90's, one for each set of parents. Two years ago we set up one Scholarship as a way to honor our parents and their commitment to education. This is the "Family Story" that I wrote for the printed program:
"Like all African-American parents of their generation, our parents believed that education was the key to a better life for their children. They knew that getting there would not be easy, so they were clear about the need to study hard and to get good grades. They were tough sometimes, but mostly they were nurturing, supportive and inspiring by example. They wanted us to love learning and to stay focused on the goal of preparing ourselves for careers and lives that would make a difference for our children and our community. We became a teacher, a banker, a musician and a physician, and they were really, really proud. The Burke, Dabner, Rodman Scholarship Program gives us the opportunity to thank them and to give back in a way that honors them and recognizes all they did for us.
"When the first scholarship was presented two years ago, our grandson made the presentation with his Grandad. It was a proud moment! Our family shared the luncheon table with the recipient and his mom, and our grandchildren got to see someone else who was working hard to go to college. And, perhaps they realized that their grandparents cared about educational opportunities for others as well as for them. It's another way we can set an example for them." -Kaaren Rodman
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The centerpiece of this episode is Emily's interview with best-selling author Barbara Graham, who has written about the collected experiences of gifted and famous grandmothers. There are lessons to be learned from her work... and from Emily's essay about loving our grands well with the time we find.
Learn more about Emily's guest and her work at barbaragrahamonline.com.
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To begin Season 4, Emily talks with two members of her network on how to put our love for our grands into action--with purpose, and intentionality, and clever ideas. The payoff is a richer relationship, even when it's largely a long-distance one.
To learn more about our two guests visit The Long Distance Grandparent and More than Grand.
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While we take a break between seasons of The Grand Life Podcast, we're inviting host Emily Morgan to the guest's chair for a change. With husband and producer Mike, she covers choosing content, finding guests, and balancing the living of The Grand Life with her podcasting about it.
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Sometimes a mistake leads to an opportunity.
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Guests from Season 3 of the podcast share memories of their grandparent's work and careers--tagging along to work with them, and being shaped by their jobs and their work ethic. Emily also interviews a grandmother who's a business-executive-turned-filmmaker.
EPISODE SHOW NOTES
Emily's guest has produced Beyond Sixty Project, a new documentary film. Learn more here.
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Being a parent of teenagers is a challenge you have to experience to appreciate. When we grandparent teens, our wisdom and experience should make us better at it... but do they? Emily talks with a teen, two parents, and a grandparent to explore this dynamic, which is both familiar and new all at once. The Stretch It Takes is a guest essay from grandma and business consultant Pamela Dennis.
EPISODE NOTES
Grandma Judy's help and ideas on grandparent camps is at https://www.grandconnections.net and on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/grandconnections.
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In this bonus episode, Emily talks with a guest from Episode 10, Ellie Slott Fisher, about the real impact the pandemic has had on our lives with our grandchildren.
Emily mentions two grandparent resources you might want to visit: More Than Grand (web and Facebook), and The Long-Distance Grandparent.
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The challenges of a daughter-in-law relationship are common, and they're not insurmountable--but working them out takes good communication, inclusivity, selfness, and love in action over time. (Sounds like grandparenting!) Emily's guests are two authors who have done a lot of thinking and writing about this rich but sensitive topic. Plus, Emily describes how her mother-in-law relationship started, then ended early (transcript below).
EPISODE NOTES
Guest Donne Davis runs an online social network, the GaGa Sisterhood. Her book is When Being a Grandma Isn't So Grand: 4 Keys to L.O.V.E your Grandchild's Parents.
Guest Ellie Slott Fisher is the author of It's Either Her or Me: A Guide to Help a Mother and Her Daughter-In-Law Get Along.
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Some grandparents have taken on the grand role while still holding onto their jobs. In this episode, Emily studies this balancing act with an author-educator, two grandmas still at work, and an adult daughter. What do they all get from the combination, and what is the cost?
SHOW NOTES
Author and educator Madonna Harrington Meyer's book is Grandmothers at Work: Juggling Families and Jobs.
Therapist Pam Siegel and co-author Leslie Zinberg wrote Grandparenting: Renew, Relive, Rejoice. The website Grandparents Link was co-founded by Leslie.
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Grandparents who become caregivers for their grands are taking on a big challenge--lots of physical and mental work, and a wonderful payoff, potentially. This episode is packed with observations and insights from experts, grandparents, and moms.
SHOW NOTES
Fern Schumer Chapman is the co-author of Happy Harper Thursdays.
Rolanda T. Pyle is the author of Grandma's Hands and has a website with ideas and observations on grandparenting. For more info and resources for grandparents, she recommends:
--local area agencies on aging --Kinship Navigator programs in your area --Generations United --Grandfamilies.org
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What are we to do when we are blocked from having a relationship with our grands by their parents--our own children? Emily explores this hard topic with a social researcher and author, an estranged grandparent who helps others manage, and a Millennial dad who shut down his relationship with his mother for the good of his family.
RESOURCES
Alienated Grandparents Anonymous, a resource for support groups and related insights mentioned by Dr. Pat Hanson (2nd guest)
Books mentioned or written by this episode’s guests:
I Thought I was the Only One: Grandparent Alienation: A Global Epidemic by Amanda
When Parents Hurt: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Children Don’t Get Along by Dr. Joshua Coleman
Invisible Grandparenting: Leave a Legacy of Love Whether You Can Be There or Not by Dr. Pat Hanson (2nd guest)
Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How to Mend Them by Dr. Karl Pillemer (3rd guest)
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What hobbies have you embraced that your grandchildren will remember, or perhaps adopted themselves? Emily presents a mash-up of recollections from her Season 3 guests who remember the hobbies of their own grandparents, Plus, a bonus interview with a super-fun grandma from Georgia and her wild-and-crazy grandkid camp. Listener advisory: there are fart noises.
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So many of our grandchildren have an overpowering connection to their handheld computing and gaming devices. They steal focus from the time we spend together, but it's the "new normal" in many households.
How can a grandparent accept the reality without encouraging the intrusion? Emily talks with three guests who bring their personal and professional expertise to the challenge.
SHOW NOTES
Guest Emily Cherkin can answer your questions through her service and website, The Screen Time Consultant.
Emily's second guest, Jennifer Fink, runs the parenting site Building Boys. She mentions the book "Moral Combat: Why The War On Violent Video Games is Wrong" by Christopher J. Ferguson. Jennifer's podcast, On Boys, recently had Emily as a guest to discuss the grandparenting of boys. Here's a video teaser on YouTube.
Rhonda Moskowitz provides coaching through her business and website, Practical Solutions Parent Coaching. She is active with (and mentioned) the Childrens' Screentime Action Network, a great resource for parents and educators.
And here's our personal history of personal computers. How does this compare to your own? 1983 Apple II Plus with 48 kilobytes of memory, a green screen monitor, and two floppy disk drives. And a joystick to play a helicopter game. 1987 IBM PC XT with 128 kilobytes of memory, a 10 megabyte hard drive, and an external 1200-baud telephone modem for CompuServe. 1990 generic PC clone we bought at Montgomery Ward with a 20 megabyte hard drive and color monitor, and a faster modem for America Online to tell us "You've got mail!" 1992 Compaq Elite mini notebook with a built in trackball for word processing without a mouse. 1995, the first of a succession of IBM PC clones Mike built out of separate components, upgrading parts that would fail or become obsolete, as if we were in some science fiction movie. (Continues to this day) 2003 Toshiba laptop for the oldest to take to college, which gave us our first hard drive crash. 2006 First MacBook (for #3 to take to college) 2013 my first real laptop, an Acer Ultrabook with Windows 7 2014 my first iPhone (iPhone 4) 2015 our first iPad (iPad 2) Today, we're on our 2nd Mac, 6th homebuilt PC, 4th laptop, 2nd iPad, and Emily is on her 3rd iPhone.
How about you? Send us an email.
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Every family handles, and teaches about, money differently. In this episode, Emily talks with three people about earning, spending, and saving, and how they grandparent (and parent) around the topic of money.
SHOW NOTES
Tim Sheehan's service Greenlight lets your grands manage cash using a plastic card instead of currency. If they have one, you can gift them with a funds transfer to their cards.
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To commemorate Grandparents Day, here's a poem from author Rolanda T. Pyle celebrating those grandparents who double as full-time caregivers...the topic of an upcoming full episode.
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Dealing with the Pandemic has triggered some hard questions for Emily that are bigger than grandparenting. Older people have a tougher time recovering from COVID-19 infection, making our futures a bit more uncertain. Emily is asking: are we living lives well-lived? And what can change at this late hour? She interviews a filmmaker, a researcher, and a young parent with perspectives and riveting stories about grandparents who have lived well.
RESOURCES
Skye Bergman's film is Lives Well Lived: www.lives-well-lived.com . Receive her newsletter by writing to lives.well.lived@gmail.com . You can buy the DVD , share your own stories, and see other films of hers: Motchitsuki (password: Mochi) and Forever Voters: Making A Change One Vote At a Time.
Emily cites this article in The Indiana Lawyer commemorating the passing of attorney Larry Reuben in 2015.
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As we prepare to restart a regular schedule of episodes in Season 3, here's a bonus episode with an example the new diversity of voices we will bring in.
This interview with a millennial parent was to have been the start of a whole new podcast, but we decided instead to include voices like hers in TGL and make it more diverse, rather than spin off another podcast. Let's all really listen to each other in our diversity and work together in making this a "grand life" for all the generations involved in grandparenting.
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The better we understand ourselves, the better we can relate to our children—and the better our relationships with our grandchildren. Emily talks with author and counselor Beth Booram about the Enneagram, a great tool for self-knowledge, and the challenges of transitioning from parent to grand. We also hear from Caitlin, a young mom who is working a parallel transition with her kids’ grandparents (that is, her own mom and dad). We start the episode with another TGL production meeting, and you’re invited to the conversation on what’s next for Emily and her producer/husband Mike.
Beth Booram’s retreat center is Fall Creek Abbey; more info here.
"The Road Back To You," which both guests mention, is a book and a podcast by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile.
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During this Covid-19 pandemic, grandparenting continues to evolve. Who knows? We might even be called upon to teach our grands when school resumes. Grandparenting is constantly evolving from three generations ago when we, as grandparents, were grandchildren. Where we live, where our grands live, who travels, how often--the expectations are not the same. What is the one factor that had changed grandparenting the most? Explore this with Emily Morgan and her friend Mickey, whose pipe-smoking granny makes for a great story.
Also in Episode 1: Relationship Yoga: Send The Letter Passing On Your Passions: Making Space for Gatherings Great Works for Your Grands: "The Duel" by Eugene Field
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What words do you want your grands to remember you by? Emily's guests from Season Two share some wise and practical sayings their grandparents passed down to them. In The Stretch It Takes, she considers the weight of words and the power of actions--and see her essay reproduced below. We wrap with a production meeting on what’s coming in Season Three, and Emily's brand new podcast is pre-announced.
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As lifespans increase and money gets tight, today's grandparents are caught in a "club sandwich"--layers of caregiving that go one generation back and two forwards. If you take care of your parents, your children, and you grands, then you're part of The Club Sandwich Generation. Emily and her guests talk about challenges and anxieties, impact on the extended family, and how to take care of yourself.
SHOW NOTES
Larry Lannan (in this episode with his wife Jane) has produced a podcast for four years focusing on public affairs in Fishers, Indiana at LarryInFishers.com. He's recently shifted focus to the arts and non-profits--so he can devote more time to his club sandwich.
DeeDee (@morethangrand on Facebook and Instagram) runs a website and blog full of great ideas on grandparenting at morethangrand.com,
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When your grands are out of reach, whether by distance or quarantine, the ache can be a deep one. Emily explores the frustrations over this kind of separation, and she uncovers many helpful ideas to close that distance between you and your long-distance grands.
SHOW NOTES
Dr. Kerry Byrne researches the fields of aging, care, and connection. Her ideas form the web site and blog titled thelongdistancegrandparent.com.
Kerry recommends Generations United, which provides thought leadership to form public policy improving intergenerational issues.
Kerry also mentions StoryCorps as a source of questions to use when interviewing a family member. While the idea is to interview someone older, several suggested questions will work for a younger interviewee.
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Grandchildren with disabilities bring about differences in relationships, family dynamics, and grandparenting. Emily talks with two grandmothers, a doctor, and an author about the differences and similarities we share with our grands with specific medical needs and physical challenges.
SHOW NOTES
Thanks to commercial artist Kimberly Renee for our cover art of a family loving thorough disability. She has an Etsy shop and a Facebook page.
Dr. Elizabeth Wheeler's book, Handiland: The Crippest Place on Earth, is for sale online in several formats.
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Grandkids and grandpets--what could go wrong? It seems to depend on humanity. Some animals get treated like people. Some people don't like animals. Other people prioritize their animals over their relatives. There can be many kinds of conflict, and most are avoidable through just a few guiding principles. Emily talks with a grandmother who loves animals, a mom whose pet is not so cool about the grandpets who visit, and an animal behaviorist with observations and advice. In The Stretch It Takes, Emily confesses an important truth about the animals in her life.
NOTES ON GUESTS
Animal Behaviorist Melissa Bannister has an animal training practice, Custom Intelligence Training.
Colleen Rife's website full of good ideas for good grandmas is goodgrandma.com.
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If you haven't already uprooted from your home and replanted yourself closer to where your children and grands live, chances are you've considered it. Emily checks in with one active grandma and two funny grandparents who have moved a few states away and share the outcomes. Plus, a visit with a city planner who's helping her city win an "age-friendly" designation from the AARP. Also: The Stretch It Takes to move not just our bodies, but our households.
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Emily presents an encore from guests in Season 2 sharing memories of food they learned about, or shared with, their own grandparents. Plus, we visit the brand-new Test Kitchen in our town, where a Korean chef is sharing his grandmother's recipes with his new Midwestern clientele.
SHOW NOTES
The cover photo this week shows Mike's Grandmother's Yeast Rolls, which are featured in Emily's essay about food memories.
Our interview with Korave Korean BBQ was recorded at The Test Kitchen at The Yard at Fishers District (near Indianapolis).
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Disabilities don't have to be diminishing, when it comes to grandparenting. One of Emily's guests (Marc, in the picture) grew up with with two deaf grandparents, and and the other is a grandmother who is "confined" (not!) to a scooter. Emily's essay is about her own experience with chronic pain and the lessons it taught her.
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Emily explores ways that grandparents can love their grands uniquely through play, including visits to one of the largest private model train collection in the nation (see picture in episode art), a granddad who's become a Pokemon expert, and an author-educator whose strategies for play help to heal fear and loneliness.
SHOW NOTES
Emily's interview with Dianne Maroney covered The Imagine Project (web site) and her book, "The Imagine Project: Empowering Kids to Rise Above Drama, Trauma, and Stress."
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In this episode, Emily examines how real surrogate grandparenting works in an imaginary world--a living history museum where it's always 1836, and the townspeople included Emily's children. (Photo: Asa Gauen)
SHOW NOTES
Emily's guest Sarah Morin is the Youth Volunteer Coordinator at Conner Prairie. Children can apply to serve as youth volunteers.
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Emily talks with a couple who have loved a family as surrogate grandparents, filling a void and finding joy in the role they chose. And she interviews the author of "Tiny, Perfect Things," about what a grandfather and his granddaughter see while walking slowly and looking carefully.
SHOW NOTES
Author M.H. Clark "Tiny, Perfect Things" for sale online
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Sometimes the gift-giving season can be overwhelming when shopping for grandchildren. Listen as Emily talks to an out-of-town grandmother who has to weigh the pros and cons of shipping items or ordering online, and then learn something from a store owner about supporting local businesses throughout the holiday season.
SHOW NOTES
Interviews: --Grandmother Patty Bry --Ashley Martz, owner of Nurture, Baby and Child, childrens' stores in Indianapolis
In The Stretch It Takes, Emily shared a post from the blog Happy You Happy Family about happiness and a four-gift limit. As Mary Poppins says, “enough is as good as a feast.”
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Hear Emily's guests from Season 1 describe the traditions handed down from their grandparents, now put in the hands of their grandchildren. Emily's essay is about a family game that's been running for 80 years, and we preview Season 2 of The Grand Life. --Interviews: Grand Traditions --The Stretch It Takes: Jenkins Says --A Preview of Season Two with Emily and Mike
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Creating time and space to be one-on-one with a grandchild pays great relationship rewards. Hear how several grandparents approach special vacations and activities. Also: --The Stretch It Takes: Time Alone With Nana. --Passing Along Your Passions: Scuba Diving. --Arts for Grands: Getting To Know You
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A panel of grandparents talks openly (and anonymously) about the hard things in grandparenting. While Emily still thinks it's the best thing ever, sometimes grandparenting gets hard--and leads to touchy conversations with your adult children. Feeding, discipline, car seats, travel--it's a wide-ranging panel discussion. Clearly, we are all doing our best as parents and grandparents. Sometimes, it's just good to talk about what's different.
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What's it like to grandparent alone? Emily talks with Mark and Dan, two grandfathers who both lost their wives at about the same time--and are on the two sides of the same young family, both now grandparenting solo. Also: --The Stretch It Takes: Dwelling in Beulah Land --Passing Along Your Passion: A Craft-y Grandma --Arts for Grands: A Benediction
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A grandparent-sponsored Cousin Camp is a way to experience your grandchildren for longer periods, to give the parents a break (and, to be honest, to enjoy them without Mom or Dad hovering). Emily talks with two grandmothers who have taken the plunge. Also: --The Stretch It Takes: You Kind Of Look Like Me --Passing On Your Passions: Camps for Disabled Kids (Diabetes Youth Foundation of Indiana) --Grand Arts: The Relatives Came, C. Rylant, ill. S. Gammell
SHOW NOTES:
Emily puts out a call for participation in upcoming episodes. Email her at grandlifeconnection@gmail.com or leave voicemail at 317-572-7876.
There's a short excerpt of a march hidden in this episode. Did you recognize "Go, You Chicken Fat, Go"? If you remember President Kennedy's Council on Physical Fitness, you're from the right era.
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When it comes to grandparents on social media, the adult children have a few requests to make. Emily and her husband Mike dive into some funny stories and earnest pleas shared by some grandkids' parents, who need for us to sharpen our online social sensibilities.
Also: --The Stretch It Takes: Put Down Your Hand Tools --Passing Along Our Passions: Elizabeth Holloway, A Lifetime of Sewing --Grand Arts: "First Steps" by Van Gogh
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Our memories of our own grandparents prove it: those relationships are enduring, for better or worse. Emily (and her husband Mike) present a mash-up of grandparent memories from the guests in the first five episodes of the podcast, and a sweet story about Emily's own Grandpa. Also: --The Stretch It Takes: Memories Bigger Than a Tree --Recommended book: It's Nice To Be Little
EPISODE NOTES
Thanks to Emily's guests from Episodes 1 through 5 who shared their personal memories of their own grandparents:
Beth Booram, Jeff Berryman, Peg Mindrebo, Nancy Mullins, Gran (Marina) King, Val Stombaugh, Mickey Gauen (it's her great-grandmother smoking the pipe!), Miki Mathoudaikis, Deborah Peebles, Becky Haak
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Most grandparents would love the privilege of being present at the birth of a grandchild. Few get the chance, but Emily talks with several who have, and with a doctor and a midwife who have stories to tell and advice to offer. Also: The Stretch it Takes: "To Doula or Not to Doula" Passing Along Your Passions: My Very Humble Friend
Books for Grands: . Hello, Baby by Jenny Overend, illustr. Julie Vivas . Before You Were Born by Jennifer Davis, illustr. Laura Cornell
SHOW NOTES
Here are details on our guests in this episode:
Midwife Mairi Breen Rothman is part of a group practice, http://mamasmidwives.com. They have a Facebook page, MAMASMidwives. If you'd like to see Mairi in action, Voice of America produced a 28-minute documentary film about her and the topic of home birth at https://www.voanews.com/a/4671481.html.
The Grand Life spoke with Dr. Becky Haak just after she returned from medical missionary work in Mozambique. See https://www.samaritanspurse.org/article/emergency-field-hospital-opens-expanding-medical-care-in-mozambique/ .
Grandparent Nancy Mullins is a vlogger--more precisely, it's her amazingly chatty Papillon. See @abbythepap on Facebook.
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Emily looks at the loss of a grandchild with her friend Peg, who grandparented through such a loss, and with Miki Mathioudakis, chaplain for a women's hospital. Also:
--The Stretch It Takes: Losing Lucy (by miscarriage; she would have been Emily's granddaughter) --Passing On Your Passion: Little Angel Gowns, Deborah Peebles --Great Works for Grands: Adagio in G Minor, Albinoni (an example from YouTube)
SHOW NOTES
Peg's daughter, the mother of Mercy Joan, has a blog where you can learn more about their family and how they process the life and loss of an infant.
Little Angel Gowns has a website and a Facebook page. Emily's guest Deborah is their executive director; her email.
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Do you remember the first time you became a grandparent, or are you looking forward to the moment? Listen in as Emily Morgan hears from two new members of the club. This episode's theme is knitting, a metaphor for how we come close as parents, and then step away into our new role when that first grandchild arrives. Also:
--The Stretch It Takes: Knitting Together --Passing Along Your Passions: Four Generations of Knitters (at The Black Sheep Yarn and Fiber Arts in Noblesville, Indiana)
--Grandchild Books about Knitting: "Freddie's Blanket" by Joanna Johnson "Phoebe's Sweater" by Joanna Johnson "A Hat For Mrs. Goldman" by Michelle Edwards and G. Brian Karas "Ned the Knitting Pirate" by by Diana Murray and Leslie Lammle
Emily mentions "Becoming Grandma: The Joys and Science of the New Grandparenting," by CBS-TV correspondent Lesley Stahl.
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The better we understand ourselves, the better we can relate to our children...and the better our relationships with our grandchildren. Emily talks with author and counselor Beth Booram about the Enneagram, a great tool for self-knowledge, and the challenges of transitioning from parent to grand. Also: The Stretch It Takes: Begin At The Beginning Passing Along Your Passions: Things of Beauty Great Works for Grands: Poet Emily Dickinson
For more information on Fall Creek Abbey, discussed by Beth, see https://www.fallcreekabbey.org .
Beth and her husband David have written When Faith Becomes Sight. Also, "The Road Back To You," which Beth mentions in this episode, is a book and a podcast by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile.
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Grandparenting has evolved from three generations ago when we, as grandparents, were grandchildren. Where we live, where our grands live, who travels, how often--the expectations are not the same. What is the one factor that had changed grandparenting the most? Explore this with Emily Morgan and her friend Mickey, whose pipe-smoking grannny makes for a great story.
Also in Episode 1: Relationship Yoga: Send The Letter Passing On Your Passions: Making Space for Gatherings Great Works for Your Grands: "The Duel" by Eugene Field
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A two-minute preview of what to expect from "The Grand Life."
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