Misseducated: Recent Episodes

Tash Doherty

Misseducated is the show about unlearning and the female experience. Covering topics like sex workers' rights, femtech, porn, domestic violence and fertility, Tash Doherty discovers the stories of fascinating people and explores their unusual viewpoints in conversations we rarely have.

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A few weeks ago, I had a fantastic conversation with Dr. Amy Divaraniya, CEO of Oova, a hormonal health testing company. We talked all about how very few women have regular 28-day cycles (only 13%, and maybe even closer to 5% according to Oova’s latest data!) and what that means for those who are trying to conceive or who are hitting perimenopause.⁠⁠

I love a good #femtech story where a woman brings a product to market to solve her own health issue. Congratulations to Dr. Amy for raising a whopping $ 10.3 million for their Series A. That's big money in femtech! ⁠

Here's to taking our health into our hands, and I hope you enjoy the story!

Listeners of Misseducated get 10% off Oova.

Go to https://oova.life/misseducated and apply the promo code MISSOOVA10 when you checkout.

Episode Transcript

I apologize in advance for typos or misattribution of words. We'll gladly make any corrective updates that you identify.

[Intro] [Dr. Amy Divaraniya] They say that if you have PCOS or irregular cycles, our data may not be reliable for you. And I was like, well, that's great because we know that 87 percent of women don't have a 28-day cycle. So, who are you trying to solve this problem for?

[Tash Doherty] Hello everyone. And welcome back to Misseducated with me, your host, Tash Doherty. And today my guest is Dr. Amy Diverania, the founder and CEO of Oova. A personalized at-home test to help females understand their unique hormone profile. There's been a lot of talk of hormonal health in Femtech over the last couple of years, and Oova is leading the way in measuring LH, estrogen, and progesterone, three key hormones in the menstrual cycle.

In 2023, Dr. Amy and her team raised a whopping $ 10.3 million Series A, which is big money in Femtech, so we're super excited to dive into all things hormonal health. So, Dr. Amy, welcome to Miseducated. Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to talk to you today. You got your PhD from the Icahn School of Medicine in Mount Sinai in Genetics and Genomic Sciences.

So what inspired you to get your PhD, and what did you discover in your thesis and your research?

[Dr. Amy Divaraniya] Before I did my Ph.D., I was actually working in the industry as a data scientist, and I've been really fortunate in my career to be surrounded by folks who are smarter than me and amazing mentors. I've never really disliked a boss; they've always pushed me.

To be better and move forward. My director actually took me out to lunch one day and was like, Amy, he was so mad. Right. It's really weird to see your manager mad. And it's not directed towards you, but he's like, I want to give you a promotion, but I can't because you either need a PhD or ten years of experience.

And at that point, I only had five years. So he was like, leave here. Go get your Ph.D., and then wherever you go, I'm coming, and I was like, all right, fine. Like, I'll invest in myself. Like, don't invest the time here invested in you and go and get your Ph.D., so I did, and I was really particular about where I wanted to go.

Who I wanted to work with. I was kind of a groupie of my 2 Ph.D. advisors, who were at the time also leaders in the genomic space, very visionary, and I was always that person in the audience listening to the same talk over and over again, just inspired beyond belief. I wanted them to be my mentors, and they both accepted me.

I got into the school. They agreed on my Ph.D. dissertation topic. We kind of hit the ground running from there. And believe it or not, my director that had advised me to do this actually came in as an investor in the company, too. So he did follow me, which is really exciting. But my Ph.D. work had nothing to do with what we're doing today.

It was really looking at genetic networks and figuring out why women or not women, why people were developing certain diseases in the inflammatory. Like, why were you getting lupus over cardiovascular disease when they're so related? What's that trigger that says you're going to get this disease versus another?

And we were able to actually model out various genetic networks by looking at different tissues and health records to validate everything, which is really cool. I had beautiful pictures throughout my dissertation.

[Tash Doherty] Wow. So, you planned to go back to your industry job when you finished your PhD?

[Dr. Amy Divaraniya] Well, yes and no, I wanted to go back to work. I wasn't really in this, like, I need to start my own company mentality at all, but I didn't really want to go back to big pharma because I felt like. Those companies are so big, and you have all these great ideas; you often get lost, and it takes so long for innovation to come to real life. At that point, it's not even innovative anymore.

My plan was either to go into a biotech or startup and my PhD advisors were really well connected there. So they were like, what kind of company do you want to go into? And at that point, I was going through infertility myself. And I was experiencing the gaps in women's health and not understanding what my body was doing.

And so what I unintentionally did was pitch Oova. I basically said, do you know any company that is monitoring hormones, helping women navigate various phases of life, and doing it in a nonblood form? And they both looked at me and were like, no, you need to build that. And I was like, okay, sure.

They're like, I have an investor coming tomorrow, get a pitch deck together, and I'll put you in front of them. I was like, all right, fine. I happily walked back to my desk, Google, like a good student. What is a pitch deck? And I put together an 87-page deck to put in front of this investor.

[Tash Doherty] 87-pages. That's quite extensive.

I mean, I had just written a dissertation that was hundreds of pages long. So, 87 pages felt like nothing. He was very kind and tore that deck apart with so much grace and was like, you only need these seven slides, Amy. And I was like, Oh, okay. And that's really where it started. Wow. Well, I love the idea of having so many mentors that you can learn from, and he will just give you the honest truth.

Like nobody needs that many pages. This is Silicon Valley. Like people do not have time to sit through hours and hours of research. So that's really amazing.

[Tash Doherty] And so when you talk about your own experience with infertility, because you were trying to conceive like with your partner and was it like a question of like, Do you know anything about, you know, your unexplained infertility? Was it when you were cycling, or did you have PCOS or some other kind of like other condition that was affecting whether or not you could conceive?

[Dr. Amy Divaraniya] Yeah. So, I've always had irregular cycles since my first period. It's always been a regular, and I've kind of tried everything like I was misdiagnosed with PCOS for multiple years.

I was put on the hormone birth control, all of that to find out finally with like a sane OB that, okay, having an irregular period is just normal for you. So I kind of accepted that, and I let it go, but when it was time to start trying to conceive, I was doing everything right. I was using my fertility tracking apps.

I was peeing on sticks. I was tracking every symptom like I was a data scientist by training. So like, give me data, and I will find that golden nugget. But there was no pattern to be found in this data. All I was learning was that I'm irregular, and it's so frustrating because my train ride to work every day was literally dissecting all my data.

That's what I would do. Like, no one can sit on the seat. I have my stuff spread out. Like, this is my time to really dig in, and I couldn't find anything. The most frustrating part was when you were looking at the fine print of all these products. They say that if you have P. C. O. S. or irregular cycles, our data may not be reliable for you.

And I was like, well, that's great because we know that 87 percent of women don't have a 28-day cycle. So, who are you trying to solve this problem for? And that's really where the light bulb started coming up. I don't know if I'm ovulating or not. I can't not be ovulating in the 18 months it took me to conceive.

I have to be ovulating much more frequently than I am. And I just didn't have those answers. The breaking point for me was more so sitting on my bathroom floor. After getting another pregnancy test, it was four in the morning. I was bawling and crying, and I had my dad's magnifying glass in my hand, trying to find a double line on a pregnancy test, and I couldn't find it.

And I was like, my Ph.D. work is so innovative, and I'm doing such crazy things, yet I'm sitting here with a 60-year-old magnifying glass, trying to figure out if I'm pregnant or not. It just didn't feel like real life. And there was such a broken piece of the puzzle that I wanted to fix. These are the kinds of stories that I love to feature on this podcast because it's amazing how we now have so many women in STEM, so many women, OBs, you know, women doing PhDs.

There are nice, fancy things that we're all studying and researching. And yet, there's our lived experience of going to the doctor and trying to understand their own bodies. And we're so behind still on that.

[Tash Doherty] I always get really excited and inspired when I'm like, okay, here's a person who is like STEM, literate, educated, and like enfranchised basically.

Like when you have a Ph.D., or you're assigned as like, you can do all these things and study these things. So that's really great that, you know, unfortunately, you have to take one for the team and put your own body on the line for the greater good.

[Dr. Amy Divaraniya] You bring up a really good point. Yes, there are a lot of women in STEM and making moves here, but it wasn't until I started this company that I actually felt like the only woman in a room.

And I don't know if I was just oblivious to it, or I don't know what it was. Still, I didn't feel like I was actually treated like a woman until I started this company in an environment like a group setting; I felt like I was always treated like a person. And now I'm feeling like, oh my God, like I, everyone is looking at me like I am the only woman in a room because I am defending a woman's health issue for a woman's health company being run by women.

[Tash Doherty] Yeah, it's crazy. I've had, um, Anna Lee as well from Lioness on the podcast, and she talks about like pitching sex toys to all male investor panels in Silicon Valley, and I'm like, oh wow, really respect for that girl. Yeah, to be a fly in the wall, right? Wow, and so did you end up discovering, you know, through your data and all your research, like, were you ovulating, or also it randomly, like, through your cycle?

[Dr. Amy Divaraniya] So, no, I was ovulating every cycle, but the issue for me was that my luteinizing hormone search was just on the lower end. So when you look at these over-the-counter tests that are available, they're all threshold-based. So my LH just wasn't reaching their threshold. So, I was getting false negatives every month.

So, literally, I was missing my window because the test wasn't reading it.

[Tash Doherty] That's crazy. Yeah. I've also interviewed Dr. Amy from Proov, and I would love to get into a little bit of Proov as well because it's kind of a similar market. Still, parts of Oova's applications, but yeah, she was just talking again about how, like, even with COVID vaccines, it's like, they were only testing it on female bodies that were, like, not cycling.

This is, again, of course, you're going to have outside effects on people who are cycling, which is the vast majority of people. Still, it's just like a really, a really difficult thing where I think, obviously, because so much of this medical history is like very patriarchal and like driven by men, it's like the added level of cycles is just too complicated, or women were assumed to be like too unintelligent, or we didn't have enough education to be able to figure out our cycles on our own.

So it's kind of just this, You know, clusterfuck medical issues. And I think that's why it's really starting to unravel now. And we have a chance of getting really great gains in this generation of women and beyond, which is awesome.

[Dr. Amy Divaraniya] Yeah, no, you bring up a great point. There are definitely those two aspects that you highlighted that women just aren't accepted to be able to handle this data and understand what's going on. But then you go to the other end of the spectrum, right? When your cycle stops. In science, there are very few things that you can say affect 100 percent of a population. Menopause is one. If a woman is to live to a certain age, 100 percent of those women will go through menopause. Yet we know nothing about it.

It is a mystery. I don't understand that. Like, why do we not understand this transition that is inevitable and are able to guide women through that? I understand everyone's different and everyone's going to have different symptoms, but the fact that no one has, there's no holy grail. Like, if I experienced this, it could be X, Y, or Z. There's none of that. And after generations of women going through this. We still don't have any sort of answers there. I think it's completely a disservice to women. Totally. I think perimenopause is a huge area that we need a lot more advancements in.

[Tash Doherty] And I think that's a great segue actually to some of the product questions that I was going to ask you about, and maybe we could give an example of a perimenopause user with Oova so far. So I think it's like digital urine tests; if I'm right, it's like the same test over and over again. So yeah, tell us a bit about the product and like how a woman who's experiencing perimenopause might want to use it.

[Dr. Amy Divaraniya] Sure. So I'll explain the product a little bit so people understand what it looks like. I can show it to you, but, um, I can describe it for your listeners. It's a urine-based test, so every kit comes with 30 strips. There are 15 strips to measure luteinizing hormone and progesterone and 15 that measure estrogen.

Each one of our cartridges has a QR code on it, so we know exactly what tests are measuring. You don't need to worry about, like, am I using LH or estrogen? Am I misrepresenting it? We work, we take care of all of it. But you basically provide a urine sample, and then you scan it with your phone. Very similar to how you would do a mobile deposit, right?

You're not entering data in. We get the data directly from the test strip, and then we interpret it all for you and let you know exactly what your hormone levels are every day that you use a test. Now, for perimenopause, we expect you to use it for 15 consecutive days. So we can really understand what your hormone profile looks like.

Oova's forte is not on a single time point measurement. We really value looking at the trend of your hormone over time. Because we're not robots. We don't stay stagnant. We have fluctuation. And you need to understand what that fluctuation is for every woman to really guide her. So what we're looking for on the perimenopause side is 1; how are the symptoms that you're experiencing relating to the hormone levels that you're having?

Is there a hormonal imbalance there? Can we help navigate you by giving you lifestyle recommendations to alleviate those symptoms or not? And really, are you in perimenopause or not? We have so many women who are using our perimenopause kit right now, thinking they are. But when you look at the data, they're still cycling.

It's just Irregular. And yeah, you could say that's a sign for perimenopause, but does that mean I've been in perimenopause for 20 years? No, it's just my norm. Right? So we're really trying to help navigate women through this transition because the biggest issue is that it's so unknown. And we just don't know what's going on.

[Tash Doherty] Yeah. So they're basically maybe experiencing some symptoms, but then they're still cycling, but basically the, I don't know, the hormones are winding down or they're irregular. And so, yeah, that's just helping them to measure that. And so is that also something that you really focus on is not having a threshold for these different types of hormones, just saying like, this is your level.

That doesn't mean you're over and above or below whatever; this is personalized to you as a kind of hormone package, in a way.

[Dr. Amy Divaraniya] That's exactly it. So, we don't have a threshold on our test at all. You're getting an actual level of all your hormones every day. We really focus on understanding every woman's unique hormone baseline.

So I get this question all the time. I understand these are my levels, but what's normal? And my answer is always, well, whatever is normal for you, like that 20-day cycle, which is not normal. We're not striving for that anymore. We're not 19, 18, 20, trying to get pregnant anymore. If that was great from the previous generation for us, now we're in our late 20s and early 30s, trying to get pregnant, and we're not following a 28-day cycle.

For the most part. So, how do we really embrace your uniqueness and understand what's happening in your body? So our answer is always like, it may be normal for you. Let's look at your historical data. And then we help women educate themselves on what their body is actually saying. Yeah, and I think that's just so powerful, like, because there's so much, as you've talked about in your experience, like even my experience getting birth control, whatever, and like having painful periods, there's so much shame that is built into like, what is the normal female body doing?

[Tash Doherty] And I just love that, you know, with personalized products like yours, you can just understand and be kind of proud and be like, yeah, I'm irregular and like, this is what happens to me. And like, this is how I deal with it. Or, you know, and then have more personalized, you know, recommendations around like health or nutrition or whatever it is.

Cause you guys have quite a holistic look at the fertility windows and things there. Um, yeah, so that's pretty, pretty crazy. Less shame, less guilt for being a female. Yeah, absolutely. And what I love as well about the product is that, like, you can just tell from the, from how it's made that, like, you don't even have to input any data.

You just scan the QR code. Like, that's kind of cool. I don't know if you can go into the details, but I like how that actually works.

[Dr. Amy Divaraniya] Yeah, sure. I'll be honest with you. We had the QR code way before COVID. So when we were thinking about the product learning curve, I was like, people are going to not know how to use the QR code. Well, thank you. COVID everything. Everyone knows what these things are now, and it's not a learning curve anymore, but we basically print a QR code on every cartridge. And we know it's embedded with a lot of data. It's not just there for. Positioning. It actually has data in it that we use internally to help interpret your results.

The test strip that's inside of that cartridge, it's designed to quantitatively measure your hormones. So, the intensities of the lines actually vary based on how much hormone is present in your sample. But I don't want a woman interpreting that by eye. So when she scans her test strip, not only do we understand what hormones she's testing, plus all of the backend information that we need.

But we're able to use our AI and image processing to really fine tune and get to two levels, two decimal places of accuracy in our hormone levels on a daily basis. So there's a lot of going on in that test strip. It's not just meant for you to visually interpret it. Wow. Yeah, that's kind of exactly what we need, though, is that there's the variations of levels, obviously the different types of hormones, but yeah, just having that level of accuracy is super important.

[Tash Doherty] And I mean, I'm also. I've studied a lot of statistics around birth control and stuff. And it's just like, if you're using something over a long period of time, it's like, we just want to remove human error and also make the user experience easier. That's super awesome. And maybe you can then tell us a little bit about the other daily action plan or like tips and recommendations that you include in the app experience. So, for nutritional, emotional, and physical health. Like what does that look like when you're in Oova?

[Dr. Amy Divaraniya] Yeah. When you're going through any of these transitions, whether it's trying to get pregnant or going through debating if you're in perimenopause or not, you're already stressed out, right? Like there's some level of stress that is pushing you to buy this product to get some answers. So we're not trying to layer on more work for you or add more to your checklist of things to do every day. But what we are trying to do is, as we're seeing your hormone patterns and understanding what's going on with your body, there are some lifestyle changes that you can implement to reduce some of the discomfort that you're experiencing. So we will try to give it to you in bite-sized pieces. For example, let's look at PCOS, which is a very common and one of the most common diagnoses that we have in our platform. If you notice that you are showing signs of PCOS because your hormones look a little unbalanced.

We're going to start implementing physical activity that is very lightweight. So giving you tips like, let's go for a 10-minute walk after a meal today, right? Or let's stand after eating our meal today for 5 minutes before we become sedentary because you want your insulin to be working; you need it to be like digesting your food properly.

So we start giving you these little habits. That will actually have a long-term impact rather than, say, you need to exercise after every meal. That's not going to happen. So we're really just trying to embrace healthy living and long-term healthy living. Right.

[Tash Doherty] And do you see any other use cases for Oova, apart from trying to conceive and perimenopause in the future? We can go more into the future unless it can translate in the conversation to more like the business model stuff as well. So, yeah, what are you thinking for more use cases?

[Dr. Amy Divaraniya] So women aren't just like baby-making machines, right? Like our bodies are designed to have babies. Yes, but we go through so many transitions from our first period to the last, and it's all driven by hormones. So yes, Oova started with fertility. Yes, we moved into perimenopause, but we're really trying to scale across all the different sectors of a woman's life.

Using the hormones that we have plus additional ones that we're thinking of adding as well. My goal as a company is to ensure that we're providing women and people in general just all the information they need so they can navigate every transition with information and not Google articles. Right.

I want to be able to empower a woman to advocate for her own health and have that two-way conversation with her doctor, which kind of moves into our business model, but that's kind of the long-term plan of Oova, helping women navigate through every phase of life.

[Tash Doherty] Totally. And we want more data, and we need more data in order to do that. So yeah, part of your business model, in addition to the kits and stuff that you have, is a membership. So, I didn't look too much into this, but I would love to know what the membership consists of.

[Dr. Amy Divaraniya] Yeah. So it's kind of funny. What we ended up doing was we just had our one-time order and a subscription model for the longest time. And we always offered these free consults with our team. If you ever have any questions, feel free to reach out. It was always a console with either our support team or me, but it was a face-to-face Zoom call. Um, and the questions that we got were pretty similar. Can you just talk me through my data?

Like, I understand everything that's happened, but I just need someone to verbalize it for me. So I was like, this is we're onto something because people are using this. Let's embed that into the product because it is so useful and it's such a distinguishing aspect of what we can offer. Since we have actual data, not just a bunch of yeses and nays or smiley faces like we have actual numbers to talk about.

So, with our membership model, what we did was we embedded these consultations that are available to all of our members monthly. We also have events that are. Secure for our members to be able to talk to clinicians in our network about their own data. It's a really safe forum. So, of course, we're always HIPAA compliant, but oftentimes, you don't want to go to your regular doctor to ask certain questions.

So, we offer these events where a patient can log in with one of our providers, and the provider can view their data once a patient gives them access and answer any specific questions they want. We also have office hours with these clinicians. So, if they want to talk to them one-on-one, don't feel comfortable in a group setting.

That's always available too. It's so clear that women are hungry for this information, and they're just not able to get it elsewhere. So if we're able to provide that trusted circle for them, it's an honor to be able to do that.

[Tash Doherty] Totally. And super cool. And so through your experience, like building the product, like scaling, um, exploring all these different use cases, uh, what are some interesting features or insights that surprised you as you were going through the process?

[Dr. Amy Divaraniya] Are you talking about building or just like after the product kind of got out there?

[Tash Doherty] Um, let's do building and then one example of, like, an insight from users as well.

[Dr. Amy Divaraniya] Okay, so building, I think, it was an assumption for me. So, like, my husband always makes fun of me when I'm like, I think we want to add this feature in here like, how do you know people want this?

I'm like, well, I want it. And I'm assuming 10 other women want it. So I'm going to go with it. And so far, it's been right. So, one thing that I had a hunch about was. People are going to want to compare their data to normal, whatever is normal. So, we added this feature in our report where you can overlay a typical 28-day cycle on top of your own.

But then all the messaging that's associated with that is that it's okay. You're different from this, but this is why, and it's okay, right? So, really trying to embrace the fact that you're not normal. You're normal for you. And I was floored by how many women appreciated that because they felt like they were spiraling and not knowing what was wrong.

Yeah, and there's so many, like, undiagnosed people, even yourself, being misdiagnosed, and it's just like, without any understanding. I mean, the baselines are helpful. Um, but I think it's also the fact that we're not treating women, especially in the ways that you provide people with recommendations and stuff for their health.

[Tash Doherty] It's like, you're not treating them as, you know, different or like, You're just saying this is, you're actually personalizing the experience more.

[Dr. Amy Divaraniya] Yeah, but it is a fine balance.

[Tash Doherty] And then what was something that surprised you about either the data or something else that was interesting?

[Dr. Amy Divaraniya] Well, I'll share two things. So one is we're so heavy on the data side and being sure that we're clear on research and backing all of our claims with doing the studies that we need to, um, there was a study that came out a couple of years ago saying that only 13 percent of women have a 28-day cycle. And I was like, let's, let's test that out.

How many women on our platform actually have a 28-day cycle? We found it was 5%.

[Tash Doherty] Oh my gosh.

[Dr. Amy Divaraniya] And yet, everything is designed for a 28-day cycle.

[Tash Doherty] Yeah. Well, it's also probably because, like, my grandmother, she's, like, 86, but she took part in the first nurses' health study, which was, again, only tested on, like, white women who were nurses in the 50s and 60s.

So, you know, whatever data set they were working with is probably, like, 100 years old, and was only testing, like, women in Indiana who were white Christian churchgoers or something under the age of 30, like.

[Dr. Amy Divaraniya] Yeah. So it's, it was amazing as we published that last year, and that's gotten a lot of traction, but then the, so I'm like, glad that we're starting to like myth bust some of the assumptions that we have about women's health and we're doing it with data.

But the 2nd thing that really surprised me, I know women want this information. I didn't know how badly. So when we launched our perimenopause product or our 3 hormone tests, I should say, in December of last year, we obviously had projections. We were prepared for whatever we wanted. We sold out of 15 weeks of inventory in 2 weeks.

[Tash Doherty] Oh, my God. That's crazy.

[Dr. Amy Divaraniya] And I was just like, what do we do now? Like this is a great problem, but it's not like it just really opened up my eyes to how badly women want this. Yeah. And we're solving a true need here. Yeah. I'm excited. There are other players that are really starting to navigate this.

[Tash Doherty] I've had a lot of other friends on here as well. Kristina from Kegg Tech is one of my best friends, um, in the fertility tracking space, and the same thing. It's like HSA approved suddenly, you know, all the stocks are gone, and you've got to order. But they have physical devices. So it's like, you have to have a six-month delay or something. And it's incredibly difficult. So, yeah, it's, uh, I'm, I'm glad it's like people, it's more accessible and yeah, better ramp up production because now that we, as Cindy Gallop also says, there's a lot of money that you can make from like believing women. So, as soon as you make a product that people are willing to use, it's incredible in that sense. And so, in June of 2023, you raised 10. 3 million to Series A. Congratulations. That is huge. So, what was your fundraising journey like?

[Dr. Amy Divaraniya] It was very interesting. Like I told you earlier, I've never felt like the only woman in a room. The first time, I felt that wasn't always fundraising, not specifically in this round, but just in general. I mean, the world is very different today than it was a year ago than it was a year before that. So it was a very unique experience of fundraising like the markets are crashing and whatnot. But what I had done.

I'm a big believer because I'm a first-time founder. Let's caveat everything with that. So I don't have a network of investors to tap into, Hey, guys, I have this new effort. Believe in me, put money in. Like, I don't have that. So, um, what I've always been really adamant about is.

Build a relationship with these people before you ask for money because. You never know. And what people are innately always willing to do is offer help and advice. If you're open to it. So I've always done that. So, when I closed my seed round, I actually started talking to Series A investors right away. The next day, I didn't even give myself a moment to celebrate that I closed my seed.

[Tash Doherty] I feel like you at least have a moment to celebrate, like just an inch.

[Dr. Amy Divaraniya] It was just, it was more of a breath of fresh air. It's like, all right, now what's next? Right. Um, but in that year and a half between our seed or whatever the time limit amount was, I spent so much time speaking with Series A investors and building relationships. So when it came time for our A. We were preempted, and then people jumped on very quickly, so it still took us time to close. But I had already built that trust with a lot of investors where we were able to bring in some amazing funds, and I'm just really proud of what we were able to build. Such a like, truncated amount of time.

[Tash Doherty] Yeah, that's huge. And also, it seems like you're quite well connected because you're, like, living in New York, right?

[Dr. Amy Divaraniya] The company's based in New York. I live in Connecticut, which is about 30 minutes north of New York City. But I think it's not so much about where you are physically. It's more so about being open to feedback, questions, and help. Because I've always been able to accept that. And I'm always hungry for it. And I feel like you can only grow when you surround yourself with folks that are smarter than you and more established and know things that you just haven't experienced before. Um, and I think that's really attractive to some of these people that just genuinely want to help founders.

[Tash Doherty] Yeah, totally. That's actually something that I wrote down in my own journals recently. I'm doing all my own social media and platform building as an author as well. I had watched a talk about self publishing like over a year ago and then forgot about it. I didn't implement any action items from the talk. And then obviously the woman, I watched it again last week, and then she's like, yeah, you gotta go with like Ingram Spark. And I had gone with a different self-publishing platform, so I was like, oh man, if I had just actually taken these people's advice, you know, and again, it's a tricky balance because you wanna, you know, you have your own view of the product, right?

Like you have the features that you wanna build that you think, uh, the user's gonna need. But then, when it comes to stuff that you have no idea about, or I'm seeing myself when I don't know something. That's exactly what I need: just take the best advice that I can and then keep going with my own vision and my own thing that I'm working on.

Yeah, it's definitely an art, right? Like the advice is always out there.

[Dr. Amy Divaraniya] And the thing that I've also learned is that people have so many ideas. It's all about the execution. So when you take a piece of advice, it is an idea. Now you have to go and execute on it, which is the hard part. So, if you do your diligence on all the ideas and advice that you're getting, you'll have a solid path forward.

But if you're closed off to that great resource, you're only going to be moving forward with what you think is best. And that may not be necessarily the most important choice.

[Tash Doherty] Right, exactly that. And also, I'm somebody who's struggled to ask for help for various reasons, you know, depending on your upbringing and how you've managed to survive as a woman in the world thus far. I mean, being a trailblazer and doing your own thing as much as possible. It's like sometimes you're trained not to ask for help. So that's a good skill we can all implement in 2024. Yes, let's finish with a couple of more personal questions as we're wrapping up today. Um, if you were going to do a PhD again today, what would you do it in?

[Dr. Amy Divaraniya] I would probably do something in education but tailor it a little bit. Um, if I could start another company, it would be focused on redefining what sexual wellness means when you're learning about sex and sex ed. Like I want to redefine that entire program across the world. We should not be teaching girls that their period is something to be ashamed of.

They need to understand what the biology of this is and why you're having a period. It is not true that if you have sex, you're going to get pregnant. That is absolutely not the case. And I'm living proof of that. What we do need to understand is why you have a cycle, that there are certain days that you can get pregnant, and what that means.

Yes. Like you, you can make the argument that when the kid's minds aren't developed yet, they won't understand those nuances. That is feeding into that entire scope of women not needing or being able to handle data about their bodies. It's just not true. I gave my nine-month-old a phone, an iPhone. He grabbed my phone.

He knew how to swipe. Yeah. Like, they know way more and are much more capable of handling information and knowledge than we give everyone credit for. And I'd want to redo what the entire program looks like.

[Tash Doherty] Yeah, and I think an aspect of that is that, like, you know, it's kind of like when you're in that awkward puberty phase where you're like, am I going to sit at the adult's table or the kid's table at Thanksgiving?

Um, but the reality is that we treat young girls, you know, like children; they're already fertile and have been cycling since I was like 11 when I got my period. So, I probably should feel equipped, empowered, and enfranchised with the data that I can understand about my body.

So yeah, it's a very, it's a very strange, again I think that's like a patriarchal thing where it's like the infantilization of women, um, because that's what, you know, in our society people have historically found attractive. So changing that sounds like a great thing to do. And what are some other areas of research or women's health questions that you think people who are interested in STEM should be answering or trying to answer?

[Dr. Amy Divaraniya] I would hope that anyone that's addressing any women's health issue is looking at objective data. I think a lot of the, like, conclusions that have been made or assumptions that have been made about women's health are based off of subjective things. Like, if you look at period tracking apps, it's all subjective data.

We're one of the first actually to bring objectivity to those symptoms. I mean, I have years of data and all these apps, but if I look at it, there really aren't many patterns there that I can draw conclusions from. Now, when I look at my three years of data, that's powerful. Cause I'm seeing what the hormone trends were.

I'm seeing the days that I was super stressed and that my cycle was completely off. And there are explanations that I can draw from looking at actual objective data. So, there are so many areas that are exciting right now. Like, I think menopause is having its moment finally, like, man, I guess women have started going through menopause, right?

It's finally having its moment. There are companies that are looking at the microbiome, the vaginal microbiome. I think that's fantastic too. Like, let's understand what cervical mucus is and really get to the bottom of why you're having that and other issues there; Priyanka Jain (at Evvy) is wonderful. Like, I love the way that they're approaching the vaginal microbiome, they're really normalizing this as a body part, and it's not something to be ashamed of, like. There's a purpose to having a vagina, and we shouldn't be shy about that. Um, so I'm really excited about some of the innovation that's happening and the way the conversation is shifting.

[Tash Doherty] Yes, exactly. And if you had any career advice for women interested in STEM and startups today, what would you tell them?

[Dr. Amy Divaraniya] The number one thing that has helped me get to where I am today is always asking questions. And I think when you do a Ph.D., you're kind of trained to ask questions, but I was doing it before I even did a Ph.D. because the more questions that you ask, the more doors that are open.

So if I'm talking to an investor about something, and I know this person isn't going to invest in us. We're not in there like round size or whatever, but they're going to know at least five other people that would be good fits for me. And that's how you build your network. And that's how you grow because you're going to have five more conversations that have so many more legs.

And I've always been open to that across every aspect of my life. And it's never hurt me. It's only kind of paying it forward in a way by always having a network to tap into.

[Tash Doherty] Well, yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Great advice all around. And, uh, speaking of these kinds of questions, what do you wish that I had asked you, or what should I have asked you in this interview?

[Dr. Amy Divaraniya] You asked really good questions. But I think the one thing would be, what is a big gap that I'm seeing in this space? Right now. Yeah. I think we asked what areas we could; it was exciting, but we didn't really see what the big oversight was. I think there are a lot of players in the fem tech or women's health side, but people enrolled, like going off to the same investors, we're all like trying to show growth and things like that.

But I would hope that, especially when you're a female founder, that's like the companies that are really in the space, like all the female-founded ones, you know how you would want to get marketed to. And what information you would need to make, like, to be convinced to make this purchase. I would hope that companies just stay true to that and not do false advertising or bend the truth. Like, let's be honest and clear with our potential customers about what we're actually putting out there because I think we're just creating more noise and hurting our community so much by playing the marketing game. This should not be a marketing game. It should be providing value to a community that is desperately in need of it.

[Tash Doherty] Yeah, totally. I mean, that's if they can get their ads published at all, you know, with the Facebook and Instagram ads, you know, like the banana penis can go on the subway in New York. But, uh, and then, I think her name is Alex, but anyway, yeah, the Dame had this huge thing about that as well.

Amazing and fascinating. Such a bummer because then you can't, even even if you raise a million dollars, it's like, well, if you can't advertise like you don't get any of that growth,

[Dr. Amy Divaraniya] But we're still held to the same metrics that men are, right?

[Tash Doherty] So anyway, Dr. Amy, this has been an incredible conversation. I am so grateful that you could come and chat with us today, and yeah, best of luck with Oova and all of the great things in store for 2024.

[Dr. Amy Divaraniya] Thank you so much. It's wonderful to speak with you.

[Outro] [Tash Doherty] Thank you so much for joining us for another episode of Miseducated. If you'd like a special discount on Oova, I'm super excited to be able to share this promo code with you. You can go to Oova dot life slash miseducated, which is It's O O V A dot L I F E slash M I S S E D U C A T E D. And the discount code is, all caps, MissOova10, which is M I S S O O V A 1 0. Lots of love, everyone. Stay safe out there, and I hope that you'll join us for another episode of Miseducated again soon.

Bye!

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How To Not Lose Yourself In A Relationship - By Tash Doherty

“Look into his angeleyes, one look and you’re hypnotized.” – ABBA

Introduction

I’ve been doing the “dating” thing recently, and a subtle but terrifying thing keeps happening. When I’m seeing a guy I like, I start reorienting my life around him in tiny ways. I leave my late evenings open in case he wants to message me. I only make tentative plans with my friends because he might ask me out. Soon, I find myself sleeping over at his house in the middle of the week, leaving sleep-deprived and with a poor performance at work the next day. This seems harmless at first, but soon it snowballs. Within a couple of weeks, I’ve become a clingy, needy mess, a shell of my former independent self. And unsurprisingly, the relationship doesn’t work out because of this.

Strangely, when I have just myself to contend with, one could say that I’m a “responsible adult” (big words). I exercise regularly. I live in a cute, clean apartment where I feel safe. I put food on my table. But things have changed since I’ve decided I want to have children and am now looking for a more serious, long-term partner. Once I start dating someone, my entire life routine goes out the window.

It's a painful and annoying trap to fall into again and again. So, in this piece, I explore what this is and share everything I’ve learned on how to avoid it. I hope that by reading this you can somehow sidestep this shitstorm altogether.

Why does this happen?

On one extreme, I sound lonely and desperate for this guy to fall in love with me. This is partly cultural. In our culture, we are obsessed with love, fairytales, and happily-ever-after. This leaves women totally screwed. Even though I’m a feminist, I was raised on a diet of Disney princess movies like Snow White and Cinderella. At some level, I’ve probably internalized the toxic narrative that I’ve been bombarded with since my childhood: men rescue women.

On the other extreme, we have modern feminist ideals where women are throwing the idea of babies out with the bathwater. It’s projected that 1 in 4 young women today wish to remain childless, and almost 40% of young single people are not interested in dating. This is great for them because, as Cindy Gallop says:

“The moment you decide you don’t want to be in love, that just takes a whole layer of crap out of your life.”

Life for single, childless people is simpler and easier, and they’re probably happier for it. But some of us want to have kids someday. Some of us are dating to find the father of our future offspring. We can bang on the drum of being an independent career woman all day. That is, until our life goals suddenly suggest a man’s presence might be helpful. So we let the guy sleep over at our house, even if we have a lot of important s**t to do the next day, because we want him to like us. Ultimately, it’s like Cindy Gallop said,

“[As women, we] are taught to undervalue ourselves from the moment we are born.”

How can we get out of this? How can we learn to value ourselves, our routines, and our lives? Not just as some feminist theory, but in practice? Here is my non-exhaustive list of tips.

Please comment or reach out to me if you have additional ideas.

Tips

  • Remember that it’s your hormones. This guy does not have a magic dick.

Besides culture, biology is not helping us either. The physical desire I regularly feel to want to get pregnant is intense. Especially around the time of my period, I can feel myself trying to finagle ways to keep this man around for at least another week or two before I ovulate. I’m not even kidding.

The solution here is to remember that any one guy, whoever he is, does not have a magic dick. If you can pause for a moment and hold onto your horses, you’ll remember that you are still young and fertile enough, and you probably live in a major metropolitan city where you could go on dates every night if you wanted to. You can meet someone else. This is not your only chance ever to f**k. This man is probably not exceptional. Your hormones are fashioning this fake mirage to get you to attach to him.

Here’s what my grandmother had to say about this:

“It’s part of a woman’s base of understanding that you have this romantic streak. Because that’s what gets you pregnant, and it keeps the race going.”

So, before you deprive yourself of a good night’s sleep for an average dude, remember that this is Mother Nature trying to f**k with you. She’s trying to get you to reproduce. You can take a deep breath and pat yourself on the back before you cancel your entire day tomorrow. This man is not in love with you. This is just a spark set alight by your hormones. Hormones that have been designed to hook you, just like they’ve hooked every single one of your ancestors over the last billion years.

You must resist Mother Nature at all costs or perish.

  • Do A Reality Check

It can be fun to fantasize about our partners and our future lives together. But as we’re drawn out of our reality, eventually it will hurt a lot when we come back to Earth. As my grandmother said:

“It’s part of our nature to have this fantasy. You assume that the other party is going along with it, but they aren’t.”

For my entire relationship with Luís, I fantasized about him whisking me away to his family’s second home in Valle de Bravo (the Mexican equivalent of the Hamptons). Instead, he smoked too much weed and couldn’t plan more than lunch one day in advance. Another boyfriend I had spoke multiple languages and taught kids how to code. It took me months to realize he was not the future Amal Clooney on international peace-keeping missions. Instead, he was a software engineer with no idea what he wanted to do with his life.

So, let’s run a reality check on the person you are dating right now. Next time you have a moment away from your partner, ask yourself:

  • Am I excited about dating this person as they are right now?

  • What are they doing with their life right now? This is who they are.

  • Am I happy with how they treat me and are they meeting my needs right now? (very important question)

This is hard. It means paying attention to the red flags. If this person has red flags, like a substance abuse issue of any kind, it means that no matter how you might feel about them, they’re probably not a healthy person for you to be with. Whoever this person is right now, that is who you are dating, not some idealized version of them.

  • Stick To Your Routine

“You have a life. You have other priorities, some of which come before him.” – Sherry Argov

When I’m dating a guy, being with him feels more fun and exciting than anything I do alone. But in her book, “Why Men Love B*s”, Sherry Argov warns us not to get swept up in this. Her book is a relationship guide for women who are “too nice”, where “b***s” is more about her humorous tone than about men liking women who are cruel or mean.

Here is her advice for when you’re starting a relationship:

  • “Don’t stop eating, sleeping, or exercising.”

  • “If he wants to spend more time with you than you can comfortably do, invite him to join you in one of your activities.”

  • “Force yourself to keep the routine you had before you met him. Once you lose your rhythm, you lose your psychological equilibrium, and you become needy.”

As much as possible, we must try to remember who we were before we met our partners.

So, take a look at your calendar when you were last single. Do you have music, dance, or craft lessons scheduled in there? Do you have a favorite exercise class or friend activity that you do every week? Do you like to spend quality time with your dog, or at museums? These are the things that you like. They make you happy.

Even when we are in a relationship, we must keep doing these things.

  • Have Some Self-Respect

“The nice girl treats her interests as “little things” or secondary. The bh doesn’t treat her interests as minor or little things. They are her things.”* – Sherry Argov

“People value you at the value you are seen to put in yourself.” – Cindy Gallop

This is a tough pill for me to swallow. In my single life, I do whatever I want and have my own life that I’m excited about. And yet, when I’m dating, I have found myself shimmying across the city late at night in an Uber because a guy invited me over late to his house after he finished band practice with his friends. The guy did make time to see me…sometimes. But I was way more likely than him to drop everything and see him when, in hindsight, it was inconvenient for me. This is all because I thought I had to be a sacrificial lamb in order to make our relationship work.

When we value ourselves more highly, people will value us that way, too. We’re only as valuable to our companies as the salary or financial worth that we’ve negotiated for ourselves. We’re only as respectable as what we say no to. Writing this piece is making it even more clear to me that female pleasure and the orgasm gap in heterosexual relationships is not the only aspect of our lives where we are subordinating ourselves in service of male contentment. We must learn to value our interests, priorities, and what we like in many aspects of our lives. And we should value them just as much, if not more, than the guy we are dating and what he likes.

Instead, being a doormat makes us unhappy and does not make men like us or respect us more. If anything, when we’re better at standing up for ourselves and prioritizing our health and sanity, the guy will respect us more for it. As Argov says,

“Suppose a woman says to a guy she can’t go on a date with him that night because of her weekly pottery class. He scratches his head and thinks, “She’d rather go to a pottery class than be with me?” It not only attracts him; it blows his mind.”

Realizing this, I feel frustrated because I’ve been throwing myself under the bus and cancelling all my plans in each relationship for all this time. My only solace is that if the problem starts and ends with me, it’s pretty clear who needs to change.

  • Set Boundaries, Even If It Feels Foreign And You Don’t Want To

“Power is the control you have over yourself.” – Sherry Argov

When it comes to seeing a guy, I can get very impulsive. “Love” feels fantastic. Why would I let “real life” get in the way when I’m forming an intense connection with someone so quickly? F**k it, I think to myself. Who cares about work? Being a responsible adult is boring! I want excitement, adventure, and fun.

But when I talk about this with my therapist, she has another theory: I’m letting the feelings in my body take over without thinking logically about what I need. In my head, I know the importance of a decent night’s sleep. But when my heart is all wrapped up in the attention I’m getting from my partner in the moment, I immediately neglect every other need I have. Sounds fucked up? That’s because it is.

To avoid this happening to you, when you’re having some alone time and thinking clearly, list all the things that you need in any given day. Then, follow that list as a set of your boundaries, and try to enforce them (even if you do not want to!) when you are with your partner.

For example, on any given day, I need:

  • Eight hours of uninterrupted sleep

  • Three meals of relatively healthy food with no white bread

  • A shower with warm water and a clean towel in the morning

  • Time to work, meet with friends and follow my weekly schedule

If you’re like me and you struggle to know what you need, ask your close friends about it. They probably have some of your answers. Are you really into cleanliness, so you need your special shampoo and soap? Are you vegan, so you need to go to a restaurant with appropriate options? I recently ended things with Luís because he’d never message me in the evenings when I wanted to check in at the end of the day. Did I need him to message me? Kind of. It would have helped me to feel that he was interested in me and willing to put effort into our relationship.

  • Stay At The Center Of Your Own Orbit

In my last relationship, I spent many weekday nights hanging by my phone in desperate purgatory, waiting for this guy to text me. Then, I’d complain about it to my therapist later about how abandoned I felt by him.

This week, after a month of torture, I had a breakthrough about this when I was journaling. This is what I discovered:

“Just because you meet a guy, you are still you. That’s what you need to realize. It’s not that these men are abandoning you. It is that you are abandoning yourself. So keep a hold on who you are. If you need sex, have sex. If you need physical touch, have physical touch. But do not change the orbit of your world to fit this other person. Your world is amazing. The world you are building for yourself is amazing. If the man is the Earth, well, then you are the Sun.”

Now I’m seeing that the work I need to do in a relationship starts way before the point where I feel abandoned by this guy. I need to go back to those tiny, seemingly insignificant ways that I am giving up myself and my time at the beginning of the relationship and stick to my priorities in my everyday life. This is how I will stop the cycle of abandoning myself.

Conclusion: Keep Learning From Your Mistakes

“Don’t look too deep into those angeleyes” – ABBA

For complex reasons that could take up many Ph.D. theses, as women, we may be subordinating ourselves in unhealthy ways when we get into relationships with men. So, if you can put even one of the tips I’ve mentioned here into practice, that’s something you can be proud of.

Finally, remember to be kind to yourself. You are learning. If you skip work calls because you had a late one with your lover last night, forgive yourself. Be compassionate towards yourself because it can be excruciating to learn these things while you’re dating someone and then the relationship doesn’t work out for whatever reason.

Because we have so few examples in our culture about what a healthy heterosexual partnership looks like, and because our hormones are so freaking persuasive, this is going to be hard. We’re bound to keep making mistakes. But there is one thing we can try to do. As one of my favorite business leaders, Christina Wodtke puts it:

"Make new mistakes."

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In this piece, I explore 10 Forms of Love, inspired by a conversation I had with my therapist.

“You’ve got this very narrow definition of love,” my therapist told me yesterday over the antics of my latest disastrous relationship. “What about your friend who you went on a walk with this week? What about your sponsor, who always calls you back? These people are giving you their time. Time is our most precious resource because you can never get your time back. You shouldn’t take them for granted.”

💌

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I have indeed hosted a naked party. So, here’s what I’ve learned about how to host a fantastic naked party...

  • Spread the word to like-minded people.

  • Lead by example, i.e., Be naked.

  • Curate a safe yet exciting experience.

Warm, Comfortable Space

Technology & Privacy

No Hard Alcohol

Activities & Ambiance

  • Consider a theme or designated phases of the evening.

  • Try to reach a critical mass of nudity, with female bodies first

  • Have a vetted guest list.

Conclusion

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Hello everyone,

I’m super excited to share my interview with Dr. Kristin Neff, self-compassion expert, author, researcher, professor and TedX Speaker.

Check out her website and workshops at the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion: https://self-compassion.org/

Link to Dr. Neff’s TedX Talk (one of my personal favorites!)

Link to her latest book, Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power And Thrive

Stay up to date with her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/neffselfcompassion/

I hope you find a self-compassion technique or practice that works for you! :)

Lots of love,

Tash 🤗 🌷

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This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit misseducated.substack.com

Hey friend,

Have you ever returned to a place, only to be flooded with memories from when you were there before? Maybe it was a small, forested park where you went on a date with a previous partner, at a time in your life when you were deeply in love with each other. Maybe it was a candlelit bar where you went drinking with friends you no longer keep in touch with. Yet returning there, after time has passed, feels both visceral and nostalgic. That’s the position I found myself in a couple weeks ago. I wrote this piece about my experience and performed it at the Spring Salon of my writing class, Notes on Your Notes, taught by Joshua and Adam. They are great writing teachers who have built a wonderful community. Paid subscribers will get to listen to the story. So, tell us: when did you go back somewhere, only to be flooded with memories? Who had you been there with? And where were you in life the time you went back? What was that like?

Lots of Love,

Tash 🤗

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I’m over the moon to share today’s episode of Misseducated with you: Female Orgasms 101, with Dr. Laurie Mintz, where we dive in deep all about female pleasure, the orgasm gap and how women can have more orgasms. Here are a couple show notes:

  • Contact Dr. Laurie on her website: https://www.drlauriemintz.com/about-laurie-mintz

  • Buy her best-selling book, Becoming Cliterate: https://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Cliterate-Orgasm-Equality-Matters/dp/0062484389

  • Her articles on Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/stress-and-sex

  • Find her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drlauriemintz/

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Warning: sexual violence and death are mentioned.

This week, on Wednesday March 8th 2023, it was International Women’s Day. Almost two years to the day since the most traumatic event of my life.

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I left my house at about 3pm to attend the women’s marches in Mexico City. I was wearing purple, following the dress code my friend had told me about. As I left my apartment, I grabbed a 500 pesos note from my drawer. I knew instinctively what I had to do.

As I walked to the march, crowds of women also wearing purple and holding signs gradually gathered around me. My throat started to swell up. I hadn’t expected to get emotional already. The chanting, the energy, the spirits of all the women overwhelmed me.

“¡Señor, señora, no sea indiferente, se matan las mujeres en la cara de la gente!"

(“Sir, Madam, don’t be indifferent, they are killing women in the face of the people!”)

If you didn’t know already, I am one of the millions of women who has experienced sexual violence in Mexico. At the marches that day, I thought about it a lot. I thought about how much I had suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder these last two years. I thought about all the women who had never made it out alive, who had never been found, and who might have been saved if they had had 500 pesos on them at the time. And how many of their abusers were living free out there in the world, like my abuser was. I also thought about how unbelievable it is that I now call Mexico my home. This country is so beautiful, so vibrant and magical. But there is no justice. When unspeakably awful things happen here, there are no consequences for the perpetrators. In addition to not committing crimes in the first place, that is what needs to change.

By the time I met my friends at the Angel of Independence statue, I was crying already. I was embarrassed about being so emotional in front of them and was grateful that they held space for me. I had a good old sob, right there in front of the crowds of people. But I felt determined to make it count.

I shared my plan with Itzel, my amazing photographer friend, and her friend Renata, who I had just met. We walked around the statue, dipping through the crowds to find the right angle in the sun. I took out my 500 pesos note. I held it up to the Angel of Independence.

Another girl gave us some flowers.

That’s the story behind these pictures. Two years ago, I made it out of there. I live to tell the tale today. I am free. He didn’t get me. But I was only saved because I had money. My story is that 500 pesos, about $25USD, was the difference between me being raped or not raped. Killed or not killed. This privilege is not lost on me. It’s the harsh, damning reality of the world we live in. I think of all the missing women in Mexico, and the family members I saw that day who were marching for them. What would it have taken for them to be saved? How many of them would still be alive right now if they had had $25USD in cash?

The crowds were singing and the air was vibrant and fun. There were beautiful signs of painted uteruses with the ovaries putting up two middle fingers.

“¡El que no brinque es macho!”

(“Whoever doesn’t jump is a macho!”)

After that chant, the entire crowd would start jumping each time. There were “callaberas” (horse riders) on horseback from Veracruz. There were Otomi women, the oldest indigenous group in Mexico who also predate the Aztecs, in their colorful, traditional dress.

But as we headed down Reforma, to the Palacio de Bellas Artes, I couldn’t help but notice the few men in the crowd. They were often holding crosses or signs with names on them, “Jimena”, “Diana” or “mi prima” (my cousin). They wore t-shirts with a woman’s photo on them. Each one a named face of the roughly 25,000 desaparecidas (missing women) in Mexico. Families and friends travelled in groups, often wearing similar clothes, like beacons of their loved one’s voices in physical form. This was a stark contrast from the flyers stamped across the graffitied fronts of buildings, with pictures of men’s faces and their names, tagging them as “violador” (rapist), “golpeador” (beater) or “abusor psicológico” (psychological abuser).

We passed one woman holding up a sign which read,

“Escribeme el nombre de tu acosador / violador / feminicida”

“Write the name of your stalker, rapist, femicide”

People were queuing up to write names all over her body with thick, black markers. This was another emotional moment for me. I knew I wanted to write something. But the truth is, I don’t know the name of my abuser and I never will. I used Google translate on my phone. I was shaking as I wrote on her arm, “Anónimo” (Anonymous). Itzel captured this really incredible picture.

I felt the weight of my privilege as I was writing. I thought about all the women in Mexico who had experienced violence at the hands of someone whose name they would never know, like me. I thought about the women who had died at the hands of anonymous abusers. That moment was incredibly heavy. But it made me think about how I could be using my privilege more to help other people. I felt like I was carrying the weight of duty on my shoulders.

At sunset, we passed about a hundred female police officers, silently standing in a long row. Some had flowers stuffed in the pockets of their black armored suits. Others stood expressionlessly as the thousands of women marched in front of them. When we arrived in Centro, the downtown area, I saw some stores had been smashed. The air was more tense and seemed angrier there. But none of the damage done to the storefronts could compare to the gravity of what the women were fighting for. To the absolute unspeakable immensity of how many people had been murdered, how many innocent lives had been lost or ruined forever by violence and grief.

By this point, we had entered the Zocalo, the main square and the center of government. The crowd was booming. Itzel, Renata and I felt exhausted. We were ready to go home. The last sign I took a picture of was:

“Existo porque resisto”

(“I exist because I resist.”)

I thought about how I still existed because I had resisted in the moment on that hilltop in Oaxaca two years ago. I felt incredibly grateful for that, for standing up for myself so that I could have a chance of being whole again, like I feel now.

As we got in a taxi to head back to my apartment, I remembered a sign I had seen earlier that day.

“Por que? Algo tan simple cómo volver a casa es un privilegio.”

(“Why? Something as simple as coming home is a privilege.”)

p.s. A photo of Itzel being a badass photographer:

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Alessia said she wasn’t looking for anything serious. She said she just wanted to be friends.

How could that be? I dared to entertain the question. When I had held her in my arms only a week before. When she had curled up into my chest, as I ran my fingers along her back searchingly. When I had gone out on a whim and decided to secede myself to being the man in our relationship. When I had admitted to myself in a state of weakness, or perhaps, in a state of emboldened vulnerability that I wanted to take care of her. That I wanted to make her happy. Make her smile.

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Hello! I usually only write about my romantic life for my paid subscribers. Today, I’m offering a story for everyone, to give you a taste of what’s behind the paywall. All my stories are true, as I remember them, but I have changed some details to protect people’s privacy; as my writing teacher, Ann Randolph, tells me, “A story told twice is fiction”. So, consider subscribing to read more stories with all the juicy details.

I’m also going to enable to chat feature in Substack so you can tell me about the times you’ve looked for a lover also…

I lay on my couch last night. It was a Thursday, and my mood was sour. It had been a long week, almost a month since my breakup. I frowned in the low light of the early evening. I felt apathetic, yet restless. I wanted to dip into the distraction of my phone. It was like I was becoming a crotchety old lady. Like the one in London who used to shout down at us from her balcony when I was a kid, when we filled the bird bath with twigs and stones.

I grumbled to myself. Why was my bed so empty? When was the last time someone had given me a hug? Images of couples walking down my street holding hands, or stealing a kiss, surfaced in my mind. I could have smelt the sickening sweetness rolling off their shoulders. How come they? Why not me? When will I?

I hugged my navy blue couch cushion tighter. I nestled my nose against the warm skin of my own shoulder, imagining that it was someone’s chest. Open. Warm. And that he was cradling me in his arms.

I had spent most of that week hopping between galleries at Zonamaco, or Art Week in Mexico City. I had descended upon the stained-glass, art-deco facades of trendy, candlelit bars in Juarez and Roma Norte and Condesa. I had tried to admire some of the art, at least. But these events had been far more about the people than the paintings or the portraits; the city’s hottest Bright Young Things were there, only a century after Evelyn Waugh.

I had tried to flirt with a guy in a crisp, lime-green suit, wearing thick rectangular sunglasses indoors. I had tried to chat to a bearded man in all black, a turtleneck and a long, leather coat. Like he had been picked up from some underground rave in Bushwick and plonked into the middle of this cavernous room of bizarre, contorted statues and screens for the NFTs. I had tried to get the attention of a man with dark ginger hair, wearing a mosaic of necklaces and embroidered shirts. He had smelled like incense, and said he ran a boutique mushroom chocolate business. But as we had exchanged phone numbers, and I had glanced hopefully up into the warmth of his green eyes, I knew he would never silently shut the door of my apartment behind us. He would never lie down on my couch. He would never assume the exact position where I was at that moment, with my navy blue couch cushion and my own shoulder there, trying to comfort myself.

As I rolled over and considered taking a nap, suddenly my phone screen flashed through the darkness. My friend had texted me. An invitation to a piano bar nearby. Suddenly I felt the deep silence of my apartment. The stillness was haunting me. I texted my friend to tell her I would be there. I waited to see if she would text back. As I lingered for a moment, I decided I couldn’t sit in the emptiness anymore. I wanted something. I wanted somebody. I wanted someone to fill the silence.

I got up off my couch. I did my makeup. I put on a tight, long, pleather brown dress with a white turtleneck underneath. I locked my front door and left the darkness of my apartment behind me. I ate duck tacos at a restaurant on my own, unable to fully appreciate the delicious plum sauce.

As I paid the bill, my phone screen lit up again. My friend had cancelled on me. I would go to the piano bar alone. I walked down the street there alone also. At a crosswalk, I caught a glimpse of a man, one of the well-dressed bearded ones with nice cheekbones. But a car pulled up, and he got into it, and we drifted apart, like two suns spreading away in the vastness of an expanding universe.

I turned the corner and reached the piano bar. Just then, I saw a couple smoking cigarettes outside. I don’t quite know how to tell you this. Maybe there’s no other way to say it. But she stood out to me. She had short brown hair, and styled bangs. She was wearing a strapless, black top. Her cleavage was deep, and so were her curves. A tall man with glasses and long, blonde hair stood next to her. I remember she was smiling. I remember she was smiling at me.

“Are you guys going to the piano bar too?” I found myself saying.

“Wait, what?” she replied. She was American, undoubtedly. And then, as if we had known each other for ages, she said, “We’re drinking with friends in the wine place downstairs. You can come sit down with us if you want.”

“I don’t want to interrupt,” I said, looking at the tall man then back to her again, “How do you guys know each other?”

“We met on the internet,” she said.

“The apps?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool,” I said, probing further. The tall man said nothing.

Her name was Alessia, she told me, though she wasn’t Italian. She was from D.C., but technically the Maryland part. She was half-American, half-Ecuadorian. And she was an artist. And she had a dog. I looked at the dark purple stone pendant hanging around her neck.

“I’ve been wanting to get a giant lizard tattoo on my arm for like 10 years,” she told me, “I finally booked my session on Valentine’s Day. I’m going to do it!”

“That’s awesome,” I said, noticing another long, rectangular tattoo with an inscription on her arm. I thought back to my ex, and the tattoos he had on his arm. And how much I loved them. And how colourful they were. And I thought about how edgy, and how sexy, she was going to look with her new tattoo.

“I like your dress. And your haircut. You won’t be single for long,” she said to me.

I smirked, but I felt myself stiffening. I folded my arms. My insides squirmed. On Feeld, the mother of all quirky dating apps, I had put my sexuality as “heteroflexible”. Was that what this was about? Was this a moment of pure fun? Or a moment of shame and weakness? I suddenly resented Alessia for telling me all about the cool art parties she was hosting. I felt like we had clicked, and now I wanted to unclick from her. And ignore whatever had happened. And continue on to find some swanky man with glasses in a suit at the bar. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

A couple days earlier, I had texted my gay friend.

“My great-grandmother’s brother was gay,” I messaged him, “Do they know if sexuality is genetic?”

“I think they discovered a ‘gay gene’,” he messaged back, “But it was debunked. Anyway, I think it’s socially constructed. Like no one can even grapple with just how thoroughly they’ve been taught to be straight.”

His words now felt like a tap at my shoulder. And then a slightly bigger slap round the head. Alessia brought us inside, and we went through the motions. We had a glass of wine with her friends. We got the check. Her friends left, and we went up to the piano bar afterwards, the tall man following quietly behind us. But all the while, my thoughts and my feelings were nagging me. I had barely had any encounters with women. Yet in those few cases, I found myself mystified. I was so nervous even though I was trying to play it cool. I had been to pride parades. I remembered when the White House lit up with rainbow flags the day that gay marriage was legalized by the Supreme Court. I had plenty of friends that were gay.

“…no one can even grapple with just how thoroughly they’ve been taught to be straight…”

We sat down in the corner behind the piano at the back of the bar. I wanted to sit next to her, but instead I sat next to her date (apparently I wasn’t crashing whatever they were doing). I made small talk with him. It turned out he was cycling from Alaska to Argentina, or something as insane and adventurous as that.

Alessia leant over him, towards me. She handed me her shot of mezcal. She wanted me to share it with her, she said. Was her hand lingering there a little longer, so I might hold it? I felt myself sinking down into my chair. I tried to laugh and sing along with the songs. Hey Jude. Love by Nat King Cole. Like a Virgin. I looked away from her, then I looked back at her, then I looked away again. I felt stupid. Like a tween going to their first bop. How do you flirt with a woman? And what if she wasn’t into women? She thought I was cool enough already. Maybe if I let on, she wouldn’t think I was cool anymore.

I know what men do. I know what kind of men I like. I know how I like to be with men. But with a woman? What? I found myself, all of a sudden, wanting to be the man in the relationship. Wanting to take her out for dinner. Wanting to figure out what her love language was. Wanting to make her happy. She was an artist. She seemed cool. She seemed hip. Where was the line between a really good, deep female friendship, and something that crossed into other territory?

In the blur of the singing and the clunking rhythm on the piano, I saw Alessia’s phone lying face down on the table, between the shot glasses of mezcal. Some kind of black and white figures were painted on the case. I picked it up. I looked at it more closely. They were drawings of women. With simple, thick-lined curves of their bodies, and jagged black triangles of pubic hair under their armpits and between their legs. On a phone case. I mean, I consider myself a feminist, but ,naked women? I didn’t have any of those tacked up on my walls.

I raised an eyebrow as I glanced at her. Alessia caught my eye. She grinned, winking at me. I felt my tongue tie itself in my mouth. Was that a sign? Did she…was she…flirting with me? At least, I thought, I would give it a try. I had to.

I hadn’t considered the possibility that she might like me back.

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Hello everyone and welcome back to Misseducated, with me, your host, Tash Doherty.

This week we’re diving into the subject of unexplained infertility with Dr. Amy Beckley, the founder and CEO of Proov. In this episode she shares with us how her experience of having 7 miscarriages fueled her to create the leading products in at-home fertility and hormonal testing kits.

We talk about how she bootstrapped the company and brought these sorely-needed femtech products to market from an Indiegogo crowdfunding campaign, of all things. We’ll also touch on how an over-the-counter medication with a $10 co pay could save you from having to do a $40,000 round of IVF if you’re trying to conceive, and also the surprising impact that the reversal of Roe v. Wade has had data centers and the security around women’s health data.

So please, enjoy! 🎧 🎙️

Links to things mentioned in the episode

Dr. Amy’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amybeckley/

Proov’s website: https://proovtest.com/

Some of Amy’s research on cancer: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/233749462_IL-1b_promotes_stemness_and_invasiveness_of_colon_cancer_cells_through_Zeb1_activation

Proov’s Indiegogo Campaign: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/at-home-ovulation-double-check-test#/

Proov’s announcement of their Series A: https://techcrunch.com/2021/12/15/proov-raises-9-7m-series-a-for-at-home-ovulation-testing-platform/

Proov’s Crunchbase profile: https://www.crunchbase.com/organization/proovtest

Article on Japan’s population crisis: https://thediplomat.com/2023/01/japans-population-crisis-nears-point-of-no-return/

Iceland’s maternity and paternity leave policy as of 2017: https://www.leavenetwork.org/fileadmin/user_upload/k_leavenetwork/country_notes/2017/Iceland.FINAL.2may2017.pdf

Article on Proov’s decision to switch data centers following the Roe v. Wade decision: https://www.protocol.com/enterprise/proov-fertility-data-google-aws

Dr. Aimee Eyvazzadeh, The Egg Whisperer: https://eggwhisperer.com/about/

Dr. John Park, Carolina Conceptions: https://carolinaconceptions.com/about/doctors-providers/park

Dr. Josh Klein, Extend Fertility: https://extendfertility.com/about-extend-fertility/

Dr. Gary Levy, My Fertility Cloud: https://myfertilitycloud.com/

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit misseducated.substack.com/subscribe

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“Excuse me, Madam,” the porter said to me, “Tennis shoes are not allowed in the Breakfast Room.”

My cheeks flashed red hot. I looked down in horror at my painted Converses. They were a black mark against the opulent, rouge-velvet carpet. My beating heart was almost audible over the tinkling piano music and the gentle clanking of fine China tea plates coming from inside. I sensed Will hovering over my shoulder. I tried to soften the blow,

“Not even to just look around—”

“Certainly not,” the porter replied, “We’ll be happy to seat you on another visit, should you be capable of adhering to the dress code.”

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I interviewed Zuzana (Cahojova) Brixová, the Director of Gender Equality for Slovakia, just over a year ago. I feel so lucky to have come across her story; it is one of incredible strength and perseverance.

Here, Zuzana tells us about her experience of domestic violence, and how she overcame an abusive marriage to find her freedom and her voice as a lawyer. She now drives key policies in her country to protect women and children from violence.

As a practicing Catholic, Zuzana also shares her fascinating opinions on how false interpretations of religion can place more value on protecting something (sanctity, virginity or marriage) rather than someone.

Her inspiring story is one of true transformation. I hope you enjoy it!

p.s. For survivors of trauma and abuse, I want to reiterate that overcoming a terrible situation and forging a new, safer life for yourself is more than enough. Post-traumatic growth is mostly a myth, and surviving trauma itself is enough. You are enough.

Read more about Zuzana’s background here.

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Enjoy this reading of my latest piece, "How to Adjust to the Real World After College".

Thank you to my friend Alara Gebes for requesting the article, and Deniz Kecik and Alan Jinich for their feedback.

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After a sturdy career in consulting and healthcare, Anu Sharma knew she wanted to make a difference. She just wasn't sure what kind of difference she wanted to make. Yet when she gave birth to her daughter three years ago, nothing could have prepared her for a near-death experience. Anu used her in-depth health knowledge to take herself back to the ER post-partum, effectively saving her own life. 

In this episode, Tash Doherty interviews Anu about her career and the physical danger she experienced in giving birth. We'll also explore how that experience inspired Anu to start Millie, a new healthcare startup dedicated to reimagining patient care for birthing people everywhere. Millie offers digital services, and has recently opened their first clinic in Berkeley, California. 

Misseducated is super excited to be able to support Anu, her team and Millie's work. 

Find out more about Millie: 

https://www.millieclinic.com/

Insta: @millie_clinic

Discover Misseducated:

Insta: @thisismisseducated

https://misseducated.substack.com/


Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/misseducated/support

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"If I were a man, I would..."

This was a prompt given to me by my writing teacher, Ann Randolph. It sparked one of my most-read pieces on my blog, and helped me discover my narrative voice. Enjoy! 

Read along at tashdoherty.com


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A fable for single women who want to find a partner. Disclaimer: you can be single and perfectly happy. 

Read along at tashdoherty.com


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In memory of Laura Johnston Kohl, a Jonestown survivor who went on to join another cult, Synanon. 

Cults are a topic I find endlessly fascinating. But I wanted to know: how are cult leaders able to subtly and gradually influence their followers' beliefs over time?

To find out more, I spoke to writer, language scholar and podcast host, Amanda Montell. Amanda's new book, "Cultish", explores the language of cults and the techniques used by all kinds of organizations, including SoulCycle and Instagram, to build stronger in-group affinities. Are they cults or not? Stay tuned to find out.

In this episode, we learn all about Amanda's dad’s experiences growing up in the cult Synanon, the cult of the patriarchy, and why the phrase “boys will be boys” is more insidious and problematic than you’d expect. We also trade stories on how Scientology tried to recruit us. 

Follow for more:

@amanda_montell

@thisismisseducated


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Trigger Warning: Rape, sexual assault, violence and sexual violence discussed.

I recorded this update a couple weeks ago. I've been going back and forth between sharing the true story of what happened to me. So, here is the honest truth. I'm so grateful for your patience, and thank you for coming to my TED talk. 

Why have I not published an episode in 2 months? Well, you're about to find out. Stick around, and I'll be back with longer-form conversations with some amazing, inspiring people soon!

Much love,

Tash


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I'm not the only woman who watches porn. According to Pornhub's 2019 Annual Review, 32% of Pornhub's viewers are women, accounting for about 13.5 billion video views per year. But Pornhub has tried to lump us all into a single category, "Popular with Women", and we don't quite fit. 

Enter: Afterglow, and it's inspiring and authentic founder, Lilly Sparks. In this episode, I wanted to deeply understand the woman behind the idea. Why did Lilly decide to start Afterglow? How did she turn her lack of resources and access to good education about sex into an enormous market opportunity, that even Pornhub couldn't crack?

Tune in to find out. 

P.S. If you really want to know, the most popular category on Pornhub for women in the United States in 2019 was lesbian porn. 


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Another episode not for my family or future employers...

Here I chat with Founder and CEO of Afterglow, Lilly Sparks, about what it's really like to build a porn and sexual wellness site for women. I really see the incredible potential in what Lilly is building, because I've watched a lot of porn over the years, but I'm always bombarded with things that don't interest me: big boobs, other people's perfectly manicured vaginas, etc. We also discuss a recent New York Times story, "The Children of Pornhub", and the ethics around porn. Are we all terrible feminists? Is there another way to make porn that doesn't feel so uncomfortable to watch, and doesn't create a mismatch between our sexual interests and our ethics?

Tune in to find out!

Check out Afterglow: https://xoafterglow.com/

Their Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/xoafterglow/

Their LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/xoafterglow/

The NYTimes article: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/04/opinion/sunday/pornhub-rape-trafficking.html


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This week, I’m chatting again with Serena Schuler, award-winning writer, director and series-creator. I ask her all about how she got the crew and cast together for her current and most ambitious project, Makeshift Society, which is an Original TV Comedy Series about a female founder. We chat about about the importance of diversity in the cast, what it was like to have a baby during the coronavirus, and how having a daughter has given her even more motivation to pursue her storytelling. We also geek out on Jewish writers in the early 20th century, specifically, Yiddish feminist authors.

Enjoy! 💕

To find out more visit:

Makeshift Society: https://makeshiftsociety.com/

Serena's website: https://www.serenaschuler.com/

Follow our insta: @misseducatedpod


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This week my guest is Serena Schuler, an award-winning writer, director, and series creator. She's piloting the first episode of her new series called Makeshift Society, an Original TV Comedy Series about a female founder. I liken Makeshift Society to the female version of the HBO show Silicon Valley, so I’m really excited to share this conversation I had with Serena today. What I also love about Serena’s story is that she worked on screenplays and scripts, writing secretly for years before she decided to become a filmmaker. Here, I ask her all about that journey, how her experiences of working in tech influenced her storytelling, how she got her cast and crew together and how she fundraised for her increasingly ambitious film projects. We also talk pretty openly about the douchebags of startup bro culture, and I share some of my experience getting fired.

Enjoy! 💕

To find out more:

Makeshift Society: https://makeshiftsociety.com/

Serena's website: https://www.serenaschuler.com/

Follow our insta: @misseducatedpod


Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/misseducated/support

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(Warning: We discuss sex in this episode).

Anna Lee, co-founder of Lioness.io, has learnt a thing or two about the female orgasm from building a smart sex toy company. Here, Anna and I have an open and honest discussion about sex, masturbation, squirting and female orgasms, which frankly I'm a little nervous about putting out into the interwebs. Be prepared to learn a lot more about different types of female orgasms, and also how to help you or your female partners (if you have any) have better ones. 

If you're a family member of mine, or you know me in a purely professional setting, don't listen to this episode. You've been warned! 

Follow us on Instagram: @misseducatedpod

Get your own Lioness: www.lioness.io

Follow Anna and Lioness on Instagram here: @annaisaverage @lionesshealth


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How would you pitch a sex toy company to investors? Well, Anna Lee, co-founder of Lioness.io, is here to tell us. Whether it's hosting a booth at the Consumer Electronics Conference in Las Vegas, or fundraising from manels of venture capital investors in Silicon Valley, Anna and her team at Lioness.io have come up against every barrier in the book on their path to building a successful sex toy startup.

Also, aside from Lioness and a couple other female-founded companies, sex toy companies have mostly been built by men. How did these men know what should go into developing a vibrator? Anna has some telling insights. 

Follow us on Instagram: @misseducatedpod

Get your own Lioness: www.lioness.io

Follow Anna and Lioness on Instagram here: @annaisaverage @lionesshealth


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Anna is anything but your typical mechanical engineer. She's the co-founder of Lioness.io, a smart sex toy company, which among other things, enables people with vaginas to track and measure their orgasms. Here I ask Anna all about her experience growing up, her path to becoming a Mechanical Engineer when she was studying at UC Berkeley, and how she got into building Lioness. Enjoy! 

Follow us on Instagram: @misseducatedpod

Get your own Lioness: www.lioness.io 

Follow Anna and Lioness on Instagram: @annaisaverage @lionesshealth


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In this episode, I continue my conversation with Lola, a cam girl and recent college graduate, as she looks for a job during the pandemic. I wanted to know whether she expected to still be camgirling after all these years when she first started doing it age 18. Is this kind of supplemental income sustainable? How has the pandemic impacted her cam work? How does it overlap with her romantic relationships? Stay tuned to find out! 💡

In the mean time, lots of love to you all. Feel free to send me your questions and curiosities to @misseducatedpod on Instagram. 

Bye! 🤗


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What is it like to be a cam girl? To find out, I spoke with Lola, a recent college graduate who started as a cam girl when she was a freshman as a way to supplement her income from her various student jobs. In this first episode, I ask her about how and why she got into camgirling, how being a cam girl enabled her to explore her own sexuality, and how she built her following on Chaturbate. Enjoy!

p.s. Sorry for publishing this on Christmas Day. I have been releasing an episode of MissEducated every week for 8 weeks and don't want to break my streak! 

Send any questions and curiosities my way: @misseducatedpod on Instagram. 

Happy holidays everyone 🥰 Much love 💕


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This episode is the final part of my conversation with Ruby, a college graduate, nanny and stripper who has kindly shared her experiences of sex work with us. Thank you, Ruby, for coming on the show!

Here, we talk more about the dynamics of power between heterosexual men and women when it comes to strip clubs. Before this conversation, I didn’t know what sugaring was, so I ask her to define it here and tell us about her sugaring experiences. She also shares her personal aspirations now that she’s been a sex worker, and some advice and slang tips to help us get around the strip club.

Do you know any professors out there who are doing research, policy work or anthropological studies on sex work? If so, please get in touch with me! Ruby is interested in pursuing a PhD on this, and MissEducated would love to make that happen. 

Follow us on Instagram or DM us with your questions @misseducatedpod

🤗


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How can one person embody these 3 personas? In this episode, I ask Ruby all about how she balanced her life as a college student, nanny and stripper.  We talk about the labor rights of sex workers, when it comes to things like job contracts. She’ll also reveal some of the threats to her personal safety and the mistreatment that she’s faced when doing “out of club” work, to give you a heads up.

Have any follow up questions or feedback? DM me on Instagram: @misseducatedpod

Enjoy!

🤗


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Meet Ruby, a young woman who entered the world of sex work when she was a college student, living in Los Angeles. Ruby has since done a number of forms of “body work”, such as dancing at a strip club, using the platform Seeking Arrangement for sugaring, and also informal “out of club’ work with male clients, which we’ll learn is more dangerous for her personal safety.

In this first episode, I ask her how her alias Ruby came about, why she decided to get into body work and what it was like when she first started dancing at the strip club.

Enjoy! 

Got follow up questions for Ruby or me? DM us on Instagram: @misseducatedpod

🤗


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This is the last part of my conversation with Christina Vanvuren, founder of The Future of Femtech and Femtech Media Group. Here, she tells us all about the skills and techniques she used to scale her organization and get sh*t done, and how she organized one of the first conferences on femtech. You'll also get the inside scoop on all our favorite startups and products in femtech. Enjoy! 🥰

Insta: @femtechmediagroup @femtechfocus

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Welcome to the second part of my conversation with Christina Vanvuren, founder of the Future of Femtech! Here we discuss how becoming a mum helped Christina develop a broader understanding of the problems we face in women's health, particularly when she went through postpartum depression but had no idea what it was at the time. We also ask a very important question: how should we educate our daughters? Christina shares some personal and funny stories about how she has been educating her daughter, Journey, about her body.

Insta: @femtechmediagroup @femtechfocus 

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I sat down with Christina Vanvuren, founder of Future of Femtech, which is now part of Femtech Focus. Here, she tells us about how she left her corporate job, where she was miserable, and began her journey which would lead to discovering her passion for women's health. What inspired her to launch one of the first conferences devoted to femtech? Stay tuned to find out! 

Insta: @femtechmediagroup @femmys @femtechfocus

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In the last part of my conversation with Kristina, Co-Founder and CEO of Kegg, we talk about the cold, hard challenges for startups in the femtech space, and the discrimination female founders constantly face in trying to raise money from investors in Silicon Valley.

Kristina has built Kegg, a medical device that helps women track their fertility and strengthen their pelvic floor muscles. Her customers (which includes me, by the way) love her product. But it is incredibly challenging for Kristina to raise money from mostly male investors, who are uncomfortable with the idea of a product that goes inside the vagina, and that solves a problem that they don't understand the need for.

Kristina has learnt some important lessons from her mum and her female investors on how to succeed. She shares all her wisdom with us here! In this conversation, neither of us is holding back, so you’ll get a real look at what we think of the state of fundraising for women in startups.

Enjoy!

🤗

Insta: @kegg_tech


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Join us for the second part of the story of how Kristina built Kegg: a medical device that both helps us understand our fertility and strengthen our pelvic floor muscles (which is great for intimacy 😉).

Here, I ask Kristina about the process of developing such a beautifully designed product that goes into your vagina. In just a few short years, she has brought this product to market, made revenue and has given women an incredible non-hormonal option for fertility. She tells us here about attending a sex tech summit in Utah, and how her team dissected sex toys to understand how these products are made. What she uncovers will shock you.

Enjoy! 😍

Insta: @kegg_tech


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Kristina is the Co-Founder and CEO of Kegg, a 2-1 fertility tracker that also helps you strengthen your pelvic floor muscles. Like many founders in the Femtech space, her story of how she got started is an unusual one. Here, I asked her about what it was like to grow up in Slovakia, her experiences working in big tech companies and startups, and how she made her way to San Francisco and Silicon Valley. 

She offers some great words of wisdom to young, ambitious girls on how to graduate without student debt, and pursue causes that you are really passionate about. Talking to Kristina was very inspiring for me, so I hope you enjoy! 

You can find out more about Kegg and Kristina at www.kegg.tech. 

🥚🔬


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From all the research I was doing about egg freezing and extending my fertility so that I can pursue my career, I wanted to know: what is the oldest possible age I can have a baby? 

To find out, I spoke with Dr. Fahimeh Sasan M.D., founding doctor at Kindbody, a clinic based in Manhattan that is at the cutting edge of fertility technologies and women's health services. Here, she shares with us some fascinating real-world examples of why more women are freezing their eggs, and why more couples are genetically testing their embryos. 

Dr. Sasan did her residency in Obstetrics and Gynecology at Mount Sinai Hospital in NYC and has been practicing and delivering clinical excellence for 12 years. She was rated one of NY Times Top Doctors in 2016 and 2017 and is passionate about helping women better understand their fertility and their options for the future. 

Please give her a virtual round of applause to thank her for joining us 👏


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Egg Freezing is expensive. Then why are people doing it? Valerie Landis, founder of Eggology Club and Eggsperience.com is here to tell us her fascinating story. 

I got some feedback on the last episode I did on Egg Freezing, and wanted to incorporate it to make the story better. Feel free to give me your feedback, and I hope you enjoy! 


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MissEducated is about unlearning the misguided rules from society that govern our lives. With me, your host, Tash Doherty 👋🏼. Wherever you're from in the world, and whatever culture you grow up in, your society hands you a pile of rules and traditions. While some of these rules are good, helping to protect us as we conform, others of them are wrong and are outright damaging. I give the example from my own life of growing up in fashion-conscious London, England, where the ideal of female beauty was to be as skinny as possible and many of my classmates developed eating disorders as a result. Follow us and MissEducated, as we unlearn our society's misguided rules, and discover fascinating alternatives about technology, relationships, success and the female body that can enable us to live in our own ways.


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Egg freezing is expensive, so why are more people doing it? What is it like to have your eggs frozen? And would you be okay with donating your eggs? Valerie Landis, founder of Eggsperience.com and Eggology Club, joins us to discuss all these questions. She shares how this fascinating technology has transformed the path to becoming a parent for those who are lucky enough to access it.

Learn more at @eggsperience_

Join the Pussyhood family on Instagram: @pussiehood

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Tash talks to Zoe Mendelson (@youngzokeziah), co-curator of Pussypedia, about how to speak your mind and get your way in the working world.

Pussypedia is a free, bilingual encyclopedia of the pussy made for you to understand, that was written by a community of over 200 contributors. Zoe curated Pussypedia with the visual artist María Conejo and the designer, developer, and educator Michael Yap. Zoe is a journalist, researcher, information designer, and content strategist, and her writing has appeared in Fast Company, WIRED, Hyperallergic, Slate, Next City, and elsewhere. She joins Tash virtually from Mexico City. 

Discover Pussypedia and it's very useful 3D toggle tool at www.pussypedia.net, and follow @pwordpedia on Instagram! 

😍


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What do people think about birth control, sex and workplace sexism in Alabama? Ashley is here to tell us all about it. Also, this week marks one year since The Human Life Protection Act was passed in Alabama, a law which criminalizes the vast majority of abortions in the state, including those in the case of rape or incest. Big thanks to U.S. District Judge Myron Thompson for blocking it with an injunction! 

Check out Episode 53 of The Naked Student podcast, featuring Sam here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6zNVRYr9pz8aQDAuMpNVeZ?si=TXHZeqlQQ_mZhXo0xX5d

Find us on Instagram @pussiehood :) We're very excited that this is our 20th episode! 


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This is Pussyhood, Quarantine Edition! About a year ago, I went to visit my grandmother in Los Angeles, and I got way too curious. I asked her all kinds of questions about her upbringing as a Seventh-day Adventist, her sex life, her love life and her political beliefs. She shares with us just how far women have come in the last couple decades. She also reveals things to us that she has never told anyone else before...


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This week, our two favorite lady doctors, Dr. Jenn and Dr. Erica, take to the stage 😍. They host The V Word Podcast, where they deep dive on womxn's health and reproductive policy issues. Check them out! They're amazing. Here, we ask them about their personal journeys becoming gynecologists and getting birth control. What they say will surprise you!

Special shoutout to Terilyn for joining us 🤗.

The V Word Podcast: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-…rd/id1342089208 👂✨


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This episode gets real up close and personal. Rosie shares her prologue with us about PCOS (Polycystic ovary syndrome), which she performed at The Pussy Prologues spoken word and poetry event that was hosted at The Center in San Francisco in March 2020. That night, a group of incredible womxn performed their own versions of The Vagina Monologues that they had written, giving the groundbreaking cultural performance a modern update to include topics such as bisexuality, masturbation, PCOS and sexism in the workplace. It was one of my favorite nights of the year. Please enjoy!


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After almost 2 years of research and development, has Lulu Ge found a natural solution to period cramps? Lulu recently launched her company, Elix Healing, a blend of natural herbs personalized to each girl, to solve the period pain problem that she and so many of her friends have faced. But is the science there to back it up? Let's find out!


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Anne shares with us the most profound story of life, and what it means to have children, that I have ever come across. She delights, entertains and shocks us with her personal experiences going through surgeries to repair her fallopian tubes, IVF, miscarriages, abortion, the eventual birth of her children, and gives us her take on the classic questions of balancing career with family.


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Tash sits down with Rachel Hobart and Fran Wang, a visual designer and mechanical engineer duo who are redesigning one of the most outdated technologies used on vaginas everywhere: the speculum. Along with their previous team members, Sahanna Kumar and Hailey Stewart, this team has created Yona Care. They're doing amazing work to redesign the speculum, which has a dark history and needs some serious updating since its first patent was approved in 1892. Check out their work here: https://yonacare.com/ and follow them on Instagram and Twitter here: @yonacare. 🍑💪🏽👩🏽‍⚕️💕


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Florence (Co-Founder and CEO) and Gideon (Co-Founder and CMO) have launched Cherie, the first totally organic and sustainable tampon subscription company. We talked about what guys can do to be more informed and helpful when it comes to periods 🤣 👏🏽

Cherie's goal is to reduce our planet's plastic menstrual waste and to give back to girls in need. They do this by using entirely compostable packaging and 100% plastic-free products, and partnering with the nonprofit, PERIOD. Support their upcoming Kickstarter campaign, and check them out at www.cherieorganic.com.


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Join me for a conversation with Aagya Mathur, Co-Founder and CEO of Aavia.io. Aavia is a new smart birth control pill case and hormonal health company. I'm giving you early access even though they're still testing in beta because Aavia is going to be a game-changer for anyone taking birth control pills  💕 Check them out at www.aavia.io


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Erika is unlucky when it comes to trying different kinds of birth control. She experiences all the side effects under the sun. But what will her husband say when she asks him if she can get her implant removed? 


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Sarah gives Tash her perspective on the abortion bill that was recently passed in Alabama, and what being pro-life means to her. She shares her thoughts on birth control education, and challenges her politicians on using women's bodies for their own gain.


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Katy's fertility is put at risk when she is taken to the hospital with acute pain in one of her ovaries. She encourages all girls who are prone to ovarian cysts to think twice before getting a Hormonal IUD (problematic cysts are a risk, but they're very rare).


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Emily's dreams of college are almost cut short when her mom refuses to let her get birth control and she has an unplanned pregnancy. If this episode doesn't convince your parents to let you get birth control, I don't know what will!


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Alex switches from the pill to the NuvaRing, and she uses the NuvaRing correctly and consistently. Is that enough for her to avoid an unplanned pregnancy in college? 


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AJ shares her birth control story, and how it took her until she was working in a free clinic as a nurse practitioner to see the Hormonal IUD as a legitimate option for her birth control.


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Ketnia shares her birth control story with us, coming from a traditional Mexican household. The timing of her education about periods and becoming a woman was never quite right.


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Sasha tests her chances using the pullout method with her boyfriends for 3 years. Will she get pregnant?


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Jenna tells us her story of finding the Hormonal IUD, planning her baby, and gives words of wisdom for teenage girls <3


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Maya tells us her story of using the implant, waiting to find the right guy to have kids with, and putting herself first for the foreseeable future 👍


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I'm Tash! Here I tell my birth control story, and share why I wish I'd found my perfect birth control method years before :)


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