Single Minded: Recent Episodes
Hannah Furst
Single Minded is the podcast flipping the script on being single. It's for independent thinkers who are forging their own paths, with a healthy dose of dating chat & lols. Hosted by Hannah Furst and her mum Linda, each fortnight they delve into topics like creating an authentic dating profile, single shaming, egg freezing, financial independence, travelling solo, navigating a one night stand and forging your own path in life. It was created for women of a certain age who are sick of the societal pressure towards settling down. They don't want to wait to meet someone before their real lives can begin, because being 'single minded' is about living your best life NOW.
Linda tells me about a strange encounter at a dinner party, and I tell her about my even stranger dream.
If you want to listen to the Rich Roll episode, here it is:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/jonathan-haidt-on-how-social-media-is-rewiring-childhood/id582272991?i=1000653186945
We will do ANYTHING except sit with ourselves in silence. But surely there are alternatives to meditation that can give us some peace?!
Read The Cut article here: https://www.thecut.com/2020/01/giving-up-meditating.html
We are SORRY for the long break between episodes!! Who knows how many of you have persevered... but thank you if you're still here listening. We're back to chat about G-Banger's birthday in Daylesford, my screenwriting course, a recent LinkedIn post about 30 Under 30 lists and my ex-boyfriend's new TV series Sugar.
It's storytime today on the podcast. A few years ago, I decided I wanted to learn how to write. But somehow, this "hobby" turned into a side hustle and all the joy was sucked out of it. Linda also realises her only true hobby has been collecting James Dean posters and postcards... Hmm, that's certainly a hobby I've never heard of, but whatever floats your boat, Linda!
I recently watched the new Netflix show 'Carol & The End of The World' and wanted to do an episode on the show's main themes: life, death and finding meaning. I emailed Linda the episode plan - with the placeholder episode title "Death & Consciousness" - and it was the end of her world. She replied to my email, "Heavy!!" But here we are.
The Brian Cox videos:
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/b4sSw9MC-zY
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/KSgNly0bSug
It's new year, and a new Linda! I've just returned from Thailand where I had a near-death experience (spoiler: it was just a panic attack) and have been thinking a lot about what I want to do better this year. If you like this pod, please rate and review on Apple and Spotify... But for the love of god, please don't unfollow me on Instagram lol.
Here's the Ben Affleck video I talked about in the episode: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/LrJPTSCSNwI
I'm joining you today from Lamai Fitness in Thailand to explain why I had the worst birthday ever, and why I think celebrating birthdays is overrated. Naturally, Linda disagrees with me and LOVES her birthday.
This is probably the most requested topic from listeners... and it's finally here!! There's a Thailand trip for EVERYONE in this episode. The spiritual seeker, the adventurer, the party gal... and more! I hope you love Thailand as much as I do x
Poo photo link: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/iaaf4odpl75dctmg0dlpj/PHOTO-2023-12-07-10-44-16.jpg?rlkey=xjfhq1ce6ykc330nztiwxjlem&dl=0
The itineraries below...
The spiritual seeker:
- The Tri Bay @ Koh Phangan, which is made up of Haad Tien, Haad Yuan & Why Nam Beach
- The Sanctuary Thailand is the main resort on Haad Tien
- The quickest way to get there from Melbourne: Flight to Koh Samui via Singapore, then a boat to Koh Phangan
- The backpacker route: Flight to Bangkok, then fly to Surat Thani, then bus & boat to Koh Phangan
- Once you're there, you can get a taxi to Haad Rin beach and take a long-tail boat to Haad Tien
The wellness reset:
- Koh Samui or Phuket
- Mum's recco: Phuket Cleanse
- My recco: Lamai Fitness
The adventurer
- Fly from Bangkok to Chiang Mai (3 nights)
- Bus to Pai (2 nights)
- Bus to Chiang Rai (2 nights)
- Fly from Chiang Mai to Koh Samui (3-4 nights)
- Then boat to Koh Phangan (3-4 nights)
- Boat to Koh Tao (2 nights)
- You can travel over to the other side and do Phuket, Krabi and Phi Phi if you have time
- You can fly out of Phuket back to Australia
The party gal:
- Koh Phangan: Srithanu, The Tri Bay or Haad Rin for the Full Moon Party
The backpacker route:
- 2-3 month loop around Southeast Asia
- Cambodia: Phnom Penh, Siam Reap, Kampot, Koh Rong islands
- Vietnam: Ho Chi Minh to Hanoi
- Laos, then you can cross the border to Chiang Mai and make your way down south
As Linda would say, "I'm back bitches!" Here's everything that has happened in the last four months while I've been gone.
Today, Ruby and I discuss the article I Used To Be A Human Being by Andrew Sullivan. You can read the article here:
https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2016/09/andrew-sullivan-my-distraction-sickness-and-yours.html
It's a CACOPHONY of ideas!
Other articles discussed:
https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/stephaniemcneal/influencers-quitting-instagram
https://lynzyandco.com/why-i-am-leaving-instagram/
Today, Ruby and I discuss why we prefer The Real World over creating Reels, and why it's been so hard for me to take a break from social media.
You can read my Medium article on the same topic here: https://medium.com/the-narrative-arc/i-went-to-thailand-to-take-a-break-from-social-media-816ab0445c74?sk=d908a2ba4236d463eb01f04b47344b22
Single Minded is also having a lil refresh! We hope you like the new format.
"Junk food has taken over our diets, and it is making millions of people physically sick. A growing body of scientific evidence suggests that something similar is happening with our minds — that they have become dominated by junk values, and this is making us mentally sick, triggering soaring rates of depression and anxiety.” - Johann Hari
On today's episode, Ruby and I discuss our own junk values and compare these to the values we're striving to live by now. We try to understand why it's so hard to do what feels right in a world dominated by success porn (hi LinkedIn), and wonder whether we've set the bar too high - do we need to lower our expectations of life in order to be happier?
Links to books & articles discussed:
- Lost Connections by Johann Hari: https://www.amazon.com.au/Lost-Connections-Uncovering-Depression-Unexpected/dp/163286830X
- LA TIMES - We know junk food makes us sick. Are ‘junk values’ making us depressed: https://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-hari-kasser-junk-values-20180121-story.html
- Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport: https://www.amazon.com.au/Digital-Minimalism-Living-Better-Technology/dp/0241453577/
- THE ATLANTIC - We’re Learning the Wrong Lessons From the World’s Happiest Countries: https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2021/06/worlds-happiest-countries-denmark-finland-norway/619299/
A lot happened in today's episode! Here's everything you need to know...
Let's start with Fran & Will's PERFECT First Dates episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EFaUUGxh9I
Next, we have my FAVE new comedian Jessica Kirson's YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@JessicaKirsonComedy
Hannah Zaslawski also joined me to chat all about her TikTok dating experiment. Watch her fifty first dates on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@hannahzaslawski
Holly is a modern-day matchmaker and the founder of MATCHSMITH. She joins me today to discuss all things dating apps. She helps clients redesign their dating app profiles to get the right matches for them... And for a select number of clients, she actually does the swiping for them! Holly has reviewed many dating app profiles and knows what works and what doesn't... The questions we answer on today's episode:
- One of your services is a review of someone's current dating app profile: What are the biggest mistakes you see on dating app profiles?
- Do you think it's important to design your dating app to attract the right matches as opposed to the most matches?
- What are your top tips for designing a dating app profile? Is there a formula?
- You also offer a service where someone can fully outsource their dating app swiping to you - it's like a modern-day matchmaker service! What are you looking for in potential matches? Do your clients disclose to their dates that they haven't done the actual swiping?
- I'm so interested to hear what you think of dating apps in general: Have they helped or hindered IRL connections?
You can find Holly's website here: https://www.matchsmith.com/
Her Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/match_smith/
According to Harvard's Happiness study: "Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives." But what makes a romantic relationship stand the test of time? What does the research say? I wanted to find out! Here are the secrets to a happy relationship, according to research. I think these will help ANYONE no matter they're relationship status. Let's call these the ultimate green flags:
- Someone who shares in your triumphs: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-happy-couple-2012-10-23/
- A positive mindset & shows gratitude: https://www.happify.com/hd/the-science-behind-a-happy-relationship/
- Healthy shared passions (not obsessive passion): https://www.thecut.com/2018/04/how-to-know-when-healthy-passion-becomes-obsessive-passion.html
- More positive interactions than negative ones during conflict: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-magic-relationship-ratio-according-science/
- Someone who believes in you: https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/articles/201901/the-michelangelo-effect
- Diffusing fights: https://www.happify.com/hd/the-science-behind-a-happy-relationship/
- Friendship: https://www.gottman.com/blog/8-myths-about-relationships/
- Kindness: https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/06/happily-ever-after/372573/
Harvard study: https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2017/04/over-nearly-80-years-harvard-study-has-been-showing-how-to-live-a-healthy-and-happy-life/
What happens when you don't want to ghost someone after one or two dates?? Linda and I discuss the best way to let someone down if you're not interested. I'm also joined by career coach Leah Lambart to discuss how personality testing can inform your next career change, and how a "portfolio career" might be the best path to more freedom and flexibility.
Leah's website: https://www.relaunchme.com.au/
Leah's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relaunchmecareerconsulting/
Kate is a Confidence Coach and meditation teacher who helps women build self-belief to find their direction in life. We answer the following questions on today's episode:
- What is self-compassion? How does someone know if they're being too hard on themselves?
- How do you cultivate self-compassion?
- As part of your workshop, you talk about "real" confidence - how would you define this? How does ego differ from real confidence?
- You talk about confidence being more about "helping you make life choices that feel genuinely right for you" - how does someone define what their path is?
- What are the first steps for someone to live more in alignment with their values?
Kate's website: https://totalbalance.com.au/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/total_balance/
Meditations: https://insighttimer.com/katejames
Ruby is BACK and today we're talking about judgement, including the judgment of others, our own self-judgement and, most importantly, how to live our lives without worrying too much about what others think of us. We answer the following questions:
- Why are people so judgemental of others?
- How can we be less critical of others?
- How can we care less about what other people think of us?
- How can we live the life we want without worrying too much about how others will perceive us?
The Atlantic article is here:
https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2021/11/how-stop-caring-what-other-people-think-you/620670/
Thanks to our sponsor SkinCeuticals! Here are the products mentioned in the episode
Hannah's routine:
- Phloretin CF Vitamin C Serum: https://www.skinceuticals.com.au/skincare/skin-type/phloretin-cf-vitamin-c-serum/SKC_0002.html
- HA Intensifier Hyaluronic Acid Serum: https://www.skinceuticals.com.au/skincare/facial-serums/ha-intensifier-hyaluronic-acid-serum/SKC_0003.html
- Metacell Renewal Skin Tightening Cream: https://www.skinceuticals.com.au/skincare/anti-ageing-creams/metacell-renewal-skin-tightening-cream/3606000400429.html
Linda's routine:
- C E Ferulic Vitamin C Serum: https://www.skinceuticals.com.au/skincare/facial-serums/c-e-ferulic-vitamin-c-serum/SKC_0001.html
- A.G.E Interrupter Advanced-Wrinkle Cream: https://www.skinceuticals.com.au/skincare/corrective-creams/a.g.e-interrupter-advanced-anti-wrinkle-cream/SKC_0016.html
- Retinol 0.5 Anti-Ageing Night Cream: https://www.skinceuticals.com.au/skincare/retinol-creams/retinol-0.5-anti-ageing-night-cream/883140024705.html
I've always wanted to ask Mum how she'd date in the modern world. Would she be on dating apps? Would she pay for the first date? Would she abide by any dating "rules"?
When she was single (like, 40 years ago lol), there were no dating apps. There weren't even mobile phones! You couldn't stalk someone's LinkedIn before agreeing to a date. You couldn't even screen their calls. As Mum says, "You just had to make do." Not sure if "making do" is great relationship advice, but there are some (hilarious) little nuggets of wisdom in this episode.
Janelle is a listener (and fellow podcaster) who sent in a voice note for the loneliness episode, and I felt like her story deserved a whole episode. Janelle has been single for 10 years and recently decided that becoming a mum was more important than trying to meet someone. So she's going it alone! We discuss her endo & egg-freezing, her IVF journey, how she chose her sperm donor, how she'll take her bins out as a single mama and what she's most excited/scared about. Janelle is also documenting her whole journey on a new podcast, Wild Ride.
Janelle's podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/its-a-wild-ride/id1690137413
Wild Ride Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wildridepod/
If you're a Succession fan, you'll know that a marriage devoid of emotional intimacy can make you feel more isolated than being single (aka Shiv & Tom). That's why close friendships can be so vital in combatting loneliness. Because we all need a Cousin Greg in our lives! But making friends as an adult can be hard. Asking a new friend for a walk or coffee is akin to asking someone out on a date: scary...
So, Ruby is back to discuss why friendships are just as important as romantic relationships, how to make new friends over 30 & how to let go of friendships that are no longer serving you.
For so many years, I was under the (false) impression that getting a boyfriend would solved ALL my problems. I thought that once I got a boyfriend, I would sail away into the sunset and be the happiest girl in the world. Oh boy, was I wrong!
My guest today, Rav Randhawa, completely agrees. She's been married, and divorced, and has learnt a lot of lessons along the way. She shares her experience of feeling alone and isolated in a relationship and discusses the lasting effects an unhealthy relationship can have on you.
Follow Rav on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/ravkr_/
I'm joined again today by mental health professional Lachlan Beaton to talk about taking action... whether that's in life, work or dating. Lachlan believes that it's the little actions that are the most important to transforming your life. It's by taking small steps that you can prove to yourself that you are capable of implementing bigger changes.
You can find Lachlan on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lachlan.beaton/
Shanthi is coming back on the podcast this week to share what happened after she quit her job of 10 years to travel the world. She's now living a digital nomad life carrying all her possessions in a backpack.
I loved to sabotage things during the early stages of dating. I would write people off immediately over tiny little icks. I had walls up. I would pretend I wasn't looking for anything serious. I would try and play the dating "game", but just seemed to always lose.
I really wish I'd met today's guest sooner. Dating coach Jiveny Blair-West is joining me today to discuss how we can overcome the blocks and barriers to forming a healthy and happy relationship.
Jiveny is the author of the book How to Make the Biggest Decision of Your Life, which you can check out here: https://www.amazon.com.au/Make-Biggest-Decision-Your-Life/dp/0733645011
Jiveny's website: https://datingforlove.com/
Jiveny's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jivenyblairwest/
A big thank you to all the listeners who sent in their voice notes about their experiences with loneliness. I was blown away by their honesty. This is definitely one of my favourite episodes of all time, and I hope you get as much out of it as I did.
Do you ever feel like your life isn't living up to the lives you see on social media? Or that life hasn't lived up to the grand plans you made for yourself as a teenager?
For me and my guest today, the answer is yes. I thought I'd be a CEO and married to Leonardo Dicaprio by now. Unfortunately, I'm turning 35 this year, so I am well past Leo's strict 'under-25' girlfriend policy.
For many of us, life is more mediocre than what we are presented with online. We aren't winning awards for our work, or turning our side hustles into million-dollar businesses, or working 4 hours a week due to our 'multiple income streams'.
So today my sister is joining me to discuss how she found magic in the mediocrity of life. She ditched her social media, went freelance, started investing in her health and became comfortable (dare I say, happy) in being average.
Thanks to this week's sponsor Viviology - confusion-free cosmeceuticals by James Vivian at Adore Beauty. Singled Minded listeners can receive a Viviology Vitamin C Serum Deluxe Mini 10ml with every Viviology purchase. Use code SINGLEMINDED. Valid until 4 May 2023. T&Cs apply. https://www.adorebeauty.com.au/viviology.html
Dr Lurve is back! We luuuurved her last episode so much, we asked her to return to the podcast to answer your most asked questions. She is a love and relationship expert with a treasure trove of practical dating advice.
Here's what we chat about on today's episode:
- Can I still meet someone if I delete my dating apps? How?
- I've been single long-term and have given up on meeting someone. What can I do to change my mindset? I don't want to give up hope!
- I don't seem to have a connection with anyone I go on a date with. Do I need to go on more dates with someone before writing them off?
- Dating makes me really anxious & I would rather just stay home than put myself through it. What should I do to get myself out there more?
- The constant rejection on dating apps is hurting my self-esteem. Is there a way I can soften the blow?
- I always seem to date people who aren't ready for a relationship. What signs can I look out for that someone is ready for a serious relationship?
- Is there a way to start a more meaningful conversation on a dating app that doesn't just fizzle?
You can find Dr Lurve here: https://www.drlurve.com/
And on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.lurve/
Thanks to this week's sponsor Viviology - confusion-free cosmeceuticals by James Vivian at Adore Beauty. Singled Minded listeners can receive a Viviology Vitamin C Serum Deluxe Mini 10ml with every Viviology purchase. Use code SINGLEMINDED. Valid until 4 May 2023. T&Cs apply. https://www.adorebeauty.com.au/viviology.html
After she got divorced, Beth made the decision to stay single forever. But life has a funny way of not working out how you think it will. After her divorce, Beth made the decision to donate her eggs. During her last counselling session with the couple she had chosen (which is required during the process), she signed away her DNA.
I don't want to give away the whole story, so I'll leave it there!
But truly, it's an incredible story of Beth's unconventional path to motherhood.
Thanks to this week's sponsor Viviology - confusion-free cosmeceuticals by James Vivian at Adore Beauty. Singled Minded listeners can receive a Viviology Vitamin C Serum Deluxe Mini 10ml with every Viviology purchase. Use code SINGLEMINDED. Valid until 4 May 2023. T&Cs apply. https://www.adorebeauty.com.au/viviology.html
MAFS: You either love it or hate it. I LOVE IT. My boyfriend hates it. Can our relationship survive another season? Hopefully!
This week, I'm sitting down with Linda (akka mum) to discuss everything I've learnt about dating from Married at First Sight (akka MAFS). It seems that dating icks are really just a defence mechanism for protecting ourselves from not getting hurt. Mind. Blown.
So the real question is: are you ready to do your own at-home MAFS experiment?
Thanks to this week's sponsor Viviology - confusion-free cosmeceuticals by James Vivian at Adore Beauty. Singled Minded listeners can receive a Viviology Vitamin C Serum Deluxe Mini 10ml with every Viviology purchase. Use code SINGLEMINDED. Valid until 4 May 2023. T&Cs apply. https://www.adorebeauty.com.au/viviology.html
This sums up the social media dilemma for me...
I met this week's podcast guest on social media, and since forming a friendship online, we now send voice notes (aka mini podcasts) to each other about how much we hate social media. I never would've connected with Melissa if it wasn't for social media, yet a lot of our conversations are about how social media is negatively affecting our mental health.
In one of our voice note convos, Melissa said she'd had the realisation that her mental health would be better off without social media. And I said, "Me too." But in a world where it's normal to share the minutiae of our lives online (and a world where many of us use social media for work), is there a way for us to co-exist with social media and not be anxious?
CAN COGNITIVE BEHAVIOURAL THERAPY SAVE US??
We decided to bring our voice note conversations to an actual podcast episode. We don't solve the world's social media problems, but it was cathartic. It's nice to know I'm not the only one that compares my life when scrolling through Insta feeds. And hopefully, any anxious brains listening will get something out of the convo with Melissa, even if it's just to feel less alone.
Melissa's Instagram (lol at the irony... but seriously she's one of my fave people to follow on Insta!): https://www.instagram.com/melissamason_/
Melissa's article on Refinery29: https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/is-social-media-ruining-our-holidays-vacations
And the CBT Workbook I mentioned: https://www.amazon.com.au/CBT-Workbook-Mental-Health-Evidence-Based/dp/1647398053
Thanks to this week's sponsor Viviology - confusion-free cosmeceuticals by James Vivian at Adore Beauty. Singled Minded listeners can receive a Viviology Vitamin C Serum Deluxe Mini 10ml with every Viviology purchase. Use code SINGLEMINDED. Valid until 4 May 2023. T&Cs apply. https://www.adorebeauty.com.au/viviology.html
Today I'm chatting with my friend Lachlan Beaton, a mental health professional who decided to make a series of radical life changes to live the life he always wanted. The journey to where he is now wasn't linear. It didn't all happen at once. It took years and years. And a lot of hard work. His story is so inspiring, and it shows that it's never too late to take a new path.
He shows us that you can have a radical change in outlook, and step by step, you can move towards a life that feels more aligned with your values. Anything is possible: he changed careers in his 40s, he sold his house and downsized, he works part-time, he stopped drinking and got into fitness, he lives part-time in Thailand AND he's having fun dating. If you feel like the status quo isn't for you, you NEED to listen to Lachlan's story.
You can find Lachlan on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/lachlan.beaton/
Thanks to this week's sponsor Viviology - confusion-free cosmeceuticals by James Vivian at Adore Beauty. Singled Minded listeners can receive a Viviology Vitamin C Serum Deluxe Mini 10ml with every Viviology purchase. Use code SINGLEMINDED. Valid until 4 May 2023. T&Cs apply. https://www.adorebeauty.com.au/viviology.html
2021 was a bad year. I could blame COVID, but that would be a lie. I had been single for a very long time. It had been fun and fancy-free... Until it wasn't anymore. In 2020, I admitted I wanted something more serious... but ALAS... It seemed that everyone on dating apps wanted ethical non-monogamy. I was not going to be on dating apps FOR A DECADE. No way.
So, what was a monogamous girl to do??
I decided to run away to Thailand. I grieved for the life I'd never have... My frozen eggs would forever stay frozen. It was the loneliest time of my life. I had given up on love (I can't believe I just said that out loud). But what's that saying? It's always the darkest before you delete your dating apps. Or is it the dawn?
Whatever it is, it's true...
Thanks to this week's sponsor Viviology - confusion-free cosmeceuticals by James Vivian at Adore Beauty. Singled Minded listeners can receive a Viviology Vitamin C Serum Deluxe Mini 10ml with every Viviology purchase. Use code SINGLEMINDED. Valid until 4 May 2023. T&Cs apply. https://www.adorebeauty.com.au/viviology.html
A very special episode with one of my good friends, Shanthi. Here are the questions we answer in this episode:
- My sister calls what you did "blowing your life up." You ended your engagement, quit your job & packed up your apartment to go travelling. Why did you decide to make such a drastic life change?
- What was it like becoming single again after 7 years? How has dating changed? What have been the highs and the lows?
- I've seen you have a lot of success on dating apps. What do you put that down to?
- You were at Adore for 10 years, then you decided to quit with no job lined up... what made you decide to do that? Was it something you took a long time to consider, or you just woke up one day?
- You're taking 5 months off... What's your plan?
- You're in your mid/late 30s and from what I can see, your life is just beginning. You don't seem to be fazed by the usual 30s pressures. What changed for you?
- What excites you most about being single & unemployed? Usually, we place negative connotations on both of these things, but you seem so excited by it.
We don't talk a lot about The Business World on this podcast, but after reading Erika's blog posts about building her brand, I just knew I had to interview her!! Here's an excerpt: "I was involved two businesses/brands that grew quickly and warped my idea of reality when it came to status, wealth, success, and values. 5 years in, I chose to leave a brand that just announced a 100 million dollar valuation, and start again. I too, sometimes wonder if I’m crazy."
The questions we answer on this episode:
- I'd love to hear about your business journey - from leaving your previous startup to creating your own brand, Fluff
- Watching you from the outside, I see you as following your own path in life; it's like you just want to live your most authentic life. Am I reading that right?
- You run a very values-driven business, and you've written about how tough it can be in a world driven by profits. Why was it important for you to do this? What are the pros and cons of doing this?
- We've both been in the beauty industry for a little while, but your approach to beauty at Fluff is quite unique. Can you tell me about Fluff's approach to beauty?
- You've written that you're not where your friends are (marriage, babies, houses). I'm not either! How do you feel about that?
- Has your definition of "success" changed with age?
- And what's next for you in life and business?
Discover Fluff: https://www.itsallfluff.com
Follow Erika on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/erikageraerts
Erika's Medium blog: https://erikaisfluff.medium.com/
IT'S OUR 69TH EPISODE!! So that calls for an episode about s.e.x.
Today I'm joined by sex coach Georgia Grace to answer your questions on libido.
The questions we answer on this episode:
- What actually is libido?
- This was actually a listener-requested episode - someone wrote in and wanted this topic covered: "Guys who have a low sex drive... It's really common." Is it a myth that all men have high libidos? Is it a myth that women have lower libidos?
- Does your libido go up and down? Are there people who naturally have a higher sex drive?
- Why do people joke that married people or people in long-term relationships stop having sex? Is there some truth to that?
- Can couples get the "spark" of the honeymoon period back? What tips do you have?
- If a couple has a mismatched libido and it's causing them stress, what can they do?
- Finally, another listener question: "How do I bring more spice to the bedroom without upsetting my partner. Together 10 years"
You can find Georgia on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gspot._/
I want to tell you a story...
A few years ago I discovered a box of my great-great aunt's love letters. They were written by a Danish ship captain. The letters spanned a 13-year period. 13 years!!! Imagine persisting with someone on a dating app for 13 years? You’re lucky if you get a 0.13-second glance.
In one letter he wrote: If only you and I could meet there, it would be vonderful.
Aren’t love letters just vonderful? Ugh... let's bring them back!
So, this episode is all about old-school romance. I'm joined by a special guest who tells the most magical story, and I hope it offers some inspiration to rediscover an old-school kind of romance from the days before dating apps.
You can read the article mentioned in the podcast here: https://medium.com/hello-love/magic-happens-just-not-on-dating-apps-3714d4ef8ea7?sk=b9c36f5ad176117c21ba310407f0567e
Someone recently messaged me saying, "I'm in a complete life run at 29… single, which I never thought would bother me but I feel very lonely."
She asked, "Where’s the real shit?" She said a lot of the content out there is all about finding yourself and loving yourself, but that’s not very practical and it doesn’t really solve the problem.
So let's get to the real shit... The questions we answer on today's episode:
- What is loneliness? What does it feel like?
- What are the stats on loneliness?
- What's my experience with loneliness?
- And how I survived feeling lonely while single?
Dee Salmin is the host of Triple J's The Hookup podcast, and she recently wrote this article about why hot, successful women aren't getting any matches on dating apps: https://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-hook-up/why-you-might-not-be-getting-matches/13901508
AND SO I HAD TO ASK WHY! So we sat down to get to the bottom of it.
You can find Dee on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/dee.salmin
Before we get into this week's episode... WE'RE ON PATREON! We'll be releasing bonus episodes on the Single Minded Private Podcast every fortnight. You can also leave us a very much appreciated tip to help us continue to produce free episodes. Sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/singleminded
Someone sent me a message on Insta recently saying that I was glowing... And I said it was because I was "happily unmarried". It caused quite the stir! So this week, I'll be unpacking why I'm so happy being unmarried with my friend Rav (who is happily divorced). I start by giving Rav a history lesson on marriage, and then we answer the following questions:
- What advice would we give to our younger selves about marriage?
- How do we feel about being in our 30s and unmarried?
- Are there any feelings of disappointment about not being married?
- Do Instagram wedding photos ever make us feel like we're missing out?
- Do we think it's better to wait to get married?
- How did we move on society's obsession with getting married?
Rav's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ravkr_/
Rav's podcast: https://linktr.ee/flikeagirl
Thanks to Novo Shoes for being our sponsor. You can use the discount code SINGLEMINDED20 at novoshoes.com.au
If you're over hookup culture and want to build a deeper connection with someone, this is the episode for you! Today I chat with Love & Relationship Expert, Dr Lurve about how to sloooow down with dating so that you can build a connection first.
The questions we answer in this episode:
- What are the pros & cons of modern dating (dating apps in particular)?
- It seems that dating has become a bit of a numbers game - should we be looking at quality over quantity?
- What is the "slow dating" trend?
- Is "slow dating" the antidote to hookup culture?
- There are a lot of dating rules (who pays, when it's appropriate to sleep with someone, etc). I recently dated someone at a much slower pace and felt the connection was a lot stronger by the time we did sleep together. Do you think we all need to just slow down & get to know each other first?
- What would be your top tips for slow dating? Is boundary-setting important? Do you need to be honest upfront that you're going to be spending more time getting to know the other person?
- What are your dating predictions for the future?
You can follow Dr Lurve on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/dr.lurve/
Dr Lurve's website: https://www.drlurve.com/
Dr Lurve's podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/between-the-sheets-with-dr-lurve/id1480610277
I'm joined this week by comedian and podcaster Bianka to chat about the sexual awakening she had when she got sober 3 years ago.
We also touch on ethical non-monogamy, sober dating, being lovesick, and embracing those first-date nerves.
Bianka's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/biankaismailovski/
Bianka's podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/damsel-undistressed/id1535867660
I've always wondered how I'll explain my "existential night terrors" to my future life partner. As someone that suffers from death anxiety, I briefly spoke about it on an episode & had an outpouring of DMs from people who feel the same.
So I chatted to Dr Rachel Menzies who is a clinical psychologist based in Sydney about how to manage death anxiety. She specialises in treating fears of death, anxiety and depression using CBT.
Her website: https://rachelmenzies.com/
Her book: https://www.booktopia.com.au/mortals-ross-menzies/book/9781760879167.html
Meeting IRL... A thing of the past? Well not for the listeners who sent in their stories of how they met their partner IRL.
Linda and I are summarising all the ways to meet someone IRL, but also some tips for striking up a conversation, without feeling the pressure to be flirty.
This week I am joined by my American friend Malia, who moved to Australia for love. She has one of the best meet-cute stories I've ever heard. As someone that is currently navigating a long distance relationship, this did kinda turn into a personal therapy session for me.
YOU'LL ALSO GET AN EXCLUSIVE UPDATE ON THE CANADIAN!
I'm joined by a very special co-host today to talk about ALL THINGS WORK.
The questions we're answering are:
- Why did you decide to quit your job after lockdowns?
- Why did taking a 2 month break from work help refresh you?
- Why you've decided to try a career change?
- How did you negotiate a 4-day work week?
Just when you thought you'd given up on dating... you go to Thailand and meet a mysterious man.
Today, Linda is asking all the tough questions on my holiday romance.
We also discuss dating post-pandemic, and why I'd all but given up after YET ANOTHER flakey guy on a dating app.
BUT ARE YOU HAPPY?! Today I'm joined by Lachlan Beaton who simplified his life to find more joy and happiness. He got everything he thought he wanted (big house, big salary, etc) but found himself miserable. Then came the breakdown, or what Brene Brown calls "the awakening". It. Is. Inspiring.
The questions we answer on this episode:
- You sent me a really great quote on Instagram called "Old Happy" - can you explain what this is all about?
- Do you feel you had an awakening to the whole "Be successful, make money, be productive" messaging? What happened?
- What is your "New Happy"?
- Because this is a dating podcast, let's get the goss on your love life to wrap up!
Find Lachlan on Instagram at @lachlan.beaton
BUT WILL WE?! Today I am joined again by Rav to chat about body image and how dating (and in her case, marriage) has affected the way we feel about our bodies.
The questions we answer on this episode:
- How did you feel about your body growing up?
- How did the media influence how you felt about your body?
- How did dating and relationships later influence how you felt about your body?
- Do you only date when you're at your "goal" weight?
- What's your relationship like with your body now? How has it changed over time?
You can find Rav over on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ravkr_
Thank you everyone who sent in your questions!!
The questions we're answering on today's episode:
- Any solo travel tips for a 38 single mum going to Noosa for a mini vacay?
- How did Linda keep her identity and independence after having kids?
- Dealing with realisation your best friends are lovely but so not aligned (they are all married).
- How to deal with coupled up friends always thinking being single = doomsday
- Tips for gal wanting to solo travel but anxious of solo in foreign places. Conflict is real
- Is it weird to go to a concert alone?
- How to deal with dating fatigue especially when you have been dating for years
- Don’t find someone attractive (looks), can it still work?
- How to shed the shame of being single in my late 30s
- Being called “beautiful” without having even met. Not a question just an ick trigger
- How to stop idealising a guy who seems to be “the one” but dumped me.
- When you worked in corporate jobs how did you have a work life balance
- Trading off better career/mental health for less money and all the lost financial/super etc
- Can you be too young/too new to ask for a 9 day fortnight or 4 day week
- How to gain the balls to leave a 12 year career/job. I’m scared shitless
Ta-da. The first episode dedicated to the I Don't Give A FuckClub (IDGAF). The club where we make our own timeline in life, despite what society expects of us. If you haven't been across the IDGAF Club on my Instagram, you can catch up on the content in my story highlights (there's a part 1, 2 & 3): @hannahfurst
The questions we cover in today's episode:
- Do you ever regret working so hard?
- What made you decide to have kids so young, and why did you have three?
- Do you think your upbringing, society or family influenced the life you have now?
- What are the things that bring you the most joy?
- What would you have done differently if you were my age?
This week we're joined by researcher (and fellow Single Minded listener) Zoe Callis to talk about emotional intelligence (EQ) and the role it plays in romantic relationships. This episode covers:
- What's the difference between IQ and EQ?
- What are the qualities of someone with high EQ vs low EQ?
- Is it possible to improve your EQ?
- Do we rank high IQ and high EQ as attractive qualities?
The research paper Zoe conducted isn't publicly available, but you can reach out to her direct for more info. Zoe Callis: https://research-repository.uwa.edu.au/en/persons/zoe-callis
Extra reading: The costs of being exceptionally intelligent: Compatibility and interpersonal skill concerns. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.intell.2020.101465
On today's episode, I'm joined again by fellow single gal and podcaster Rav Randhawa to talk about the highs and lows of being single and what freedom means to us.
We cover our favourite single things like not having to share a bed, the butterflies before a first kiss, along with the lows of living life on your own and the big question, is my soulmate out there?
Rav's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ravkr_
Fight Like A Girl Podcast: https://linktr.ee/flikeagirl
This episode is brought to you by City of Port Phillip.
www.portphillip.vic.gov.au/explore-the-city
My friend and life coach Bonne Chance is back again to talk about New Year's Rituals. The questions we answer on this episode:
- What's the difference between setting new year's resolutions and setting an intention for the year?
- We did a burning ceremony in Thailand 2 years ago - can you run everyone through what we did?
- How can people do their own ritual ceremonies this year if they want to reset / redefine what's important to them?
- If people listening want to make big changes but don't know where to start, what do you recommend?
- Do you think post-pandemic people are looking for more meaning and purpose in their lives? Why?
- How would someone define their purpose? Is there an exercise they can do?
- How do we remove the obstacles in our lives to follow our purpose to create more meaning in our lives?
You can find Bonne on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/lebonnechance/
And her website is here: http://www.bonnechancecoaching.com/
Today I am joined by psychologist Nancy Sokarno, also known as Psych With Sokz. The questions we answer on this episode:
- How has the pandemic changed our relationship with being alone?
- A follower sent me the following, "One of the positives of lockdown was we were put in a meditative state - where we got time to think and decide which way we want to grow." Do you think the alone time was overall a positive or negative experience for people or does it depend on the person? Will people emerge with new ideas on life?
- You've previously said, “Being alone also often allows you to make better decisions because you aren’t persuaded by outside influence." Can you explain why?
- Are there other benefits of being alone? Are there benefits of doing things outside of your comfort zone alone eg. travel?
- Do some people prefer to be single & alone than be in a coupled-up, long-term relationship?
Nancy's website: https://www.psychwithsokz.com/
Nancy's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/psychwithsokz/
Today I am joined by Jess Matthews, also colloquially known as “The Boy Detox”. The questions we answer on this episode:
- You fell in love with your best friend - I'd love to hear this story! Why did you break up? Are you dating now?
- A lot of people are looking for that "instant spark" - what are your thoughts on this? Do we need to let go of instant sexual chemistry and focus on building a genuine connection instead?
- You mentioned to me that falling in love with a best friend shifts the dynamic, especially when it comes to sexual intimacy - can you talk me through this shift?
- Do you think it's worth being more open minded and patient when dating? I'm usually like "no" if there's no physical chemistry instantly. But more recently I decided to keep pursuing someone I wasn't sure about and thought, "Nah, there's nothing here," but then we kissed and it was total fireworks.
- How many dates do you think you need to give someone before writing them off? What needs to be there at a bare minimum to keep getting to know them?
- What are your thoughts on building a connection first before getting physical? I think it's really nice. I had a guy follower mention that he had tried this with a girl and it didn't go well - he wanted to wait to get to know her before having sex.
Jess' website: https://www.theboydetox.com/
Jess' Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theboydetox/
The questions we answer on this episode:
- We hear the word "vulnerability" thrown around a lot. What does it mean?
- What is vulnerability not?
- Why is being vulnerable and open important to forming deep & fulfilling connections?
- When we're dating, why do some people stay in the "safe" zone and find it hard to delve deeper than the surface level conversations? I've experienced "the wall" when dating and you never get any deeper and it fizzles out.
- It's like the chicken or the egg... it's hard to form a connection without being vulnerable.. But then it's hard to know who you can trust, especially when you're getting to know a new person. How do you balance these two things?
- Do you think people that struggle with vulnerability weren't taught how to express their feelings as children? How can you learn these skills in adulthood? Are there ways to practice being vulnerable in non-dating settings?
- Resources you suggest for people interested in learning about vulnerability
Find out more about Vanessa here: https://www.vanessastaubpsychology.com/
Shani Silver is back to discuss self-publishing her new book A Single Revolution! You can purchase her book here: https://www.amazon.com.au/Single-Revolution-Dont-match-Light-ebook/dp/B09HZ1TBX7/
The questions we answer on this episode:
- It's been a while since we chatted - what's been happening in your life?
- I read your medium article about not getting a book deal & instead self-publishing. You open with, " Obviously it’s an ego thing. The book deal. The big advance. The status, the validity, the ability to show the world that a publisher wanted you. And then you never get any of those things, despite years (and years) of trying." - can you talk me through the process of publishing your book A Single Revolution?
- What is your book about? Who would it be useful for?
- You write about rejection a lot - something that's common for writers - do you have any advice for people in dealing with rejection?
- The main message I get from your content is, "Don't wait for your life to happen." Whether that's meeting a partner or getting a book deal. Why is this message so important to you? Do you have practical tips for people that are stuck waiting for life to happen to them?
- I have a lot of people on Instagram asking me for writing advice, or just generally how to be more creative. I've gotten so much out of your medium articles about self-publishing and not waiting for editor's to respond to your pitches. It's one of the reasons I write on Medium now as opposed to pitching. What is your advice for people wanting to take more control of their creative pursuits?
Find Shani on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/shanisilver/
Today we're talking about flags - how to spot them in others, but also how to spot them in yourself.
The questions we answer on this episode:
- How do you spot red flags? Can you give some examples
- Do you attract where you are in your life? I've noticed this myself (attracting red flags because I was exhibiting those same red flags)
- What is a "green flag?"
- How do you spot a green flag? Can you give examples?
- You do a lot of work on mindset - is the biggest issue with online dating a mindset thing?
- Is it important to date by your values, as opposed to just physical attraction? How would a listener figure out their values? How do they know if they're going to be aligned?
You can find Megan on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/meganluscombe_/
The Budget Bachelorette is back for another episode! Emmy Pens is joining me again to chat our top dating tips.
Remember...
A first date is not an interview.
It’s not a performance.
It’s not a test.
A first date is an experience.
(via Dr Alexandra H. Solomon).
Follow Emmy on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/emmypens/
On today's episode, I'm joined with fellow single gal and podcaster Rav Randhawa to talk about societal pressure to get married (and what happens when it doesn't work out).
The questions we answer on this episode:
- You've spoken about your family putting pressure on you to settle down and follow that traditional path - tell me about your upbringing and how that pressure manifested?
- You got married quite young - what happened?
- You got "ghosted" by your husband - can you take us through that story?
- Did you feel relief when the marriage ended? How did you heal? Have you done any personal development?
- How has dating been as a divorcee in your early 30s?
Follow me on Instagram for more dating stories: https://www.instagram.com/hannahfurst/
Rav's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ravkr_
Fight Like A Girl Podcast: https://linktr.ee/flikeagirl
On today's episode, I am taking you through my egg freezing journey and the entire process from start to finish.
The questions I answer on this episode:
- Why did you want to get your eggs frozen? You've been talking about it for years now.
- Take us through the process from day 1 to the actual freezing?
- How many eggs did you get? Is this a good result?
- How did you feel after? How are you feeling now that you've got your period?
- What happens now?
- What do you recommend for someone that is where you were a few years ago?
- Why did you choose to freeze your eggs at Women's Health Melbourne & Dr Raelia Lew?
You can also follow my egg freezing journey on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hannahfurst/
A big thank you to Women's Health Melbourne, Dr Raelia Lew & Melbourne IVF for sponsoring my egg freezing journey.
WHM Website: https://www.womenshealthmelbourne.com.au/
Raelia's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drraelialew/
Knocked Up Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/knocked-up-the-podcast-about-fertility-and-womens-health/id1381363197
On the outside, Rebekah Campbell had an amazing life... She was an entrepreneur living in Sydney. But on the inside, she was lonely and wanted love and a family. When she realised she hadn't been on a date in 10 years, she decided to apply the tactics she'd learnt building companies to find a partner. She went on dates with 138 different men and wrote a book about it. She faced humiliation, rejection and heartbreak.... But there was a happy ending!
Buy the book: https://www.booktopia.com.au/138-dates-rebekah-campbell/book/9781988547848.html
Website: https://rebekahcampbell.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rebekahcampbellwriter/
Joanna Fleming is back by popular demand!! We cover A LOT... Would you rathers, marry/fuck/kill, dealing with flaky guys, our best and worst dates... the list goes on!
You can find Jo on the gram: @joannafleming
During the pandemic, Elina Osborne set off on an adventure! She hiked the entire length of New Zealand solo - that's 3000km. She had already hiked the Pacific Crest Trail, the PCT, which is the trail featured in the book and movie Wild.
I have always wanted to do a long-distance hike but fear gets in the way. So I wanted to chat with Elina about how she overcomes her fears when heading off on a solo adventure.
We, of course, also chat about trail romances, and I learn some new dating terms like "Trail Goggles".
Elina's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elinasborne/
Elina's YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/elinaosborne
I've got a big life decision to make this week so I recorded my thought process! The questions I pondered:
- What are my values?
- How do I define success?
- What's the worst that could happen if I don't say yes to this opportunity?
- What were my reasons for leaving the traditional 9-5 life?
Linda also recorded her own little audio diary so listen to the very end!
Thanks to this week's sponsor Normal! Visit itsnormal.com and use promo code SINGLEMINDED20 at checkout for 20% off your entire order.
IT'S A LISTENER EPISODE! Thank you to our amazing listeners for contributing to this week's episode... We love you! Today we're discussing making friends in adulthood, especially when you're single and over 30 (but it's relevant to all life stages!)
Some of the topics we'll cover are:
- How friendships change as we get older
- Is it taboo for a woman to ask another woman out for a coffee?
- What happens when your life stage is not the same as your current friendship group?
- Tips on how to make friends in adulthood
Sleep... It's so important to living a healthy life, yet we never question the relationship status quo of sleeping in the same bed. Well, we're here to try and normalise sleeping alone for those like me who like their own space at night.
Dr Alix Mellor is a Postdoctoral Research Fellow at the Sleep Program at Turner Institute for Brain & Mental Health at Monash University. In this episode, she answers the following questions:
- Let's start at the beginning: what makes a "good" night sleep? What are the necessary ingredients to achieving this?
- Can you tell me a bit about the sleep study you conducted where one person in the couple had insomnia?
- I personally don't sleep well with anyone else in the room (let alone the same bed) - is this common?
- I think there's a misconception that sleeping in separate beds is "the beginning of the end" of a relationship - what are the reasons couples might choose to sleep apart? I can imagine this might be a good thing if they're bad sleepers / snorers/ insomniacs?
- How might someone broach the subject with a partner, whether it's long-term or casual? This really is a "it's not you, it's me" situation!
- In an article I read in the Guardian, you said that we need to normalise sleeping in separate beds - why do you think it's important to normalise it?
Guest: Dr Alix Mellor
Website: https://research.monash.edu/en/persons/alix-mellor
“HE HAS SUCH A NICE VOICE”.... This is a very common interaction between me and Alisha on Instagram, where we share our dating stories daily. So we thought we’d record one of our chats...
Alisha, a content creator from Sydney, joins me today to chat about our shared experiences on dating apps, and how voice memos have changed the way we screen for dates.
The questions we answer on this episode:
- Tell me a bit about your relationship history - you became single after a long relationship?
- How have dating apps changed dating: the good, the bad and the ugly!
- Voice memos: why have these changed the dating game for you?
- How do you stay resilient on dating apps?
- How do you find not drinking on dates?
Guest: Alisha Bhojwani
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lishyglows/
Website: https://linktr.ee/AlishaBhojwani
We have a very special guest for the intro today: my mum’s bestie Tamara. We’re going to chat about solo travel over 50.
On today’s episode, I interview Dr Guy Winch. I discovered Guy through a TED article he wrote on how rejection affects the brain. He also wrote a book 'How To Fix A Broken Heart', and talks a lot about healing from emotional pain.
The questions we answer on this episode:
- How has social media and dating apps changed the number of rejections we open ourselves up to?
- The constant stream of mini rejections on dating apps can really affect my self esteem. Are there differences between big or small rejections? Do smaller micro-rejections hurt less?
- You’ve spoken before about the rejection experiment. How does the brain react to rejection?
- What are the evolutionary reasons for how our brain reacts to rejection?
- Are there strategies for cushioning the blow of rejection? I think you call this “emotional first aid”.
- While I've got you, you have a TED talk called "How to fix a broken heart" with over 7.4m views! Firstly, could you help us understand why breakups hurt so much?
- Could you share a few tips with us on how to recover from a break up?
Guest: Dr Guy Winch
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/guywinch/
Podcast: https://www.guywinch.com/podcast/
Website: https://www.guywinch.com/
I'm doing it!!! I'm really excited to announce my partnership with Women's Health Melbourne, who are sponsoring my egg freezing journey. And as part of this collaboration, I get to share it with you guys!
On today's episode, I am interviewing Dr Raelia Lew, the fertility specialist who will be doing my egg freezing. It's really important in part 1 that I share the answers to all the questions I had prior to actually booking it in, straight from the expert's mouth. In part 2, I will be taking you through the actual egg freezing process.
The questions we answer on this episode:
- How does our fertility change as we get older?
- What age is ideal to do egg freezing? At what age do you not recommend it?
- Are there fertility options once it's "too late" for egg freezing?
- Can you check your fertility before deciding to freeze your eggs?
- What is the egg freezing process?
- How much does it cost?
- Up until what age can I use my frozen eggs?
- Where would someone start if they're interested in egg freezing?
You can also follow my egg freezing journey on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hannahfurst/
Guest: Dr Raelia Lew
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drraelialew/
Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/knocked-up-the-podcast-about-fertility-and-womens-health/id1381363197
Website: https://www.womenshealthmelbourne.com.au/
LET'S START WITH SOME GOOD NEWS STORIES! Thank you everyone who has been sending these in. Keep 'em coming!
Big thanks to this week's sponsor NORMAL, the company reinventing the sex toy store. Get $20 off your NORMAL order using the code SINGLEMINDEDTWENTY. One per person. https://itsnormal.com/
On today's episode, sex coach Georgia Grace joins me to chat ALL THINGS SEX!
The questions we answer on this episode:
- What were the findings of Normal's Big Australian Sex Survey?
- One of the findings from this survey was “Anxiety, body image & sexual skills are big concerns for young Australians”. How do these obstacles affect our sex lives?
- What is the sexual fingerprint
- I’m actually reading Come As You Are at the moment - Normal has two quizzes about arousal style - can you explain SES and SIS to the listeners?
- Can you tell me a bit about the orgasm gap and what we can do to help close this? Can self-pleasure help women understand more about what will help them orgasm in the bedroom?
Guest: Georgia Grace
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gspot._
Website: https://www.georgiagraced.com/
How's your lockdown going, lovers? Linda has a little lockdown story to share with you all!
This is Single Minded, the podcast flipping the script on being single. Because being single is awesome.
On today's episode, Allira Potter joins me to chat all things manifestation.
The questions we answer on this episode:
- You do both energy healing & intuitive healing sessions with clients - what happens in these sessions? How did you find out you had these healing / intuitive powers?
- Why is spirituality so important to you?
- What is 'manifestation' for the newbies?
- How does someone manifest?
- How do you manifest a partner into your life?
Guest: Allira Potter
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allira.potter/
OUR LIVE SHOW AT MELBOURNE CENTRAL IS HERE!
Linda considered calling in sick, but she made it in the end - and she did not look up at the crowd once.
On today's episode we discuss:
- What dating was like in Linda's day ie. pre-internet
- Hannah's last seven days on dating apps
- Why rejection hurts so much
- How dating apps have changed dating
- How we can make online dating a little more bearable
- Why we need to normalise actually showing up to dates
I am currently going through a break up... with my phone... and Linda wants to know how it is going. We're also getting prepped for our first Live show, and Linda has been having nightmares.
This is Single Minded, the podcast flipping the script on being single. Because being single is awesome.
On today's episode, Sam Wilson joins me to chat about her sober journey, including how to navigate the world of dating without alcohol.
The questions we answer on this episode:
- What made you decide to stop drinking?
- What were the challenges you faced when you stopped drinking?
- How has dating changed since going sober?
- How do you navigate first dates without alcohol?
- Tell me more about your sober community Sober Mates
Guest: Sam Wilson
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/__sammywilson/
Sober Mates: https://www.instagram.com/sobermates/
If you want to follow my dating journey on Instagram, send me a DM to be added to my close friends @hannahfurst
Shadow marketing, sleeping in separate beds and the number sixty nine... Just a few of the very important issues Linda and I discuss on today's intro.
This is Single Minded, the podcast flipping the script on being single. Because being single is awesome.
On today's episode, life-coach-in-training Cara Hays joins me to chat about her #SixMonthsOfMe experiment, where she dedicated six months to genuinely loving and accepting herself, rather than jumping into a relationship hoping a partner could solve all her problems.
The questions we answer on this episode:
- What happened when you took six months off dating to focus on yourself?
- Why did you also need to reevaluate your relationship with alcohol?
- How did you start journaling?
- What happened at the end of the six months?
- What was your journey towards self love?
- How can single women work on feeling complete on their own?
I also really loved this quote, so I will end with that:
"If external validation is your only source of nourishment you will be starving for the rest of your life".
Guest: Cara Hays
Website: https://www.carahays.com/
Instagram: @carahays
If you want to follow my dating journey on Instagram, send me a DM to be added to my close friends @hannahfurst
Linda and I have a lot to catch up on in the intro, including Noooooosa, nude beaches and an (almost) NLH.
This is Single Minded, the podcast flipping the script on being single. Because being single is awesome.
On today's episode, life coach, fellow spiritual seeker and my friend Bonne Chance joins me again to chat about forging your own path in life. We met in Thailand a few months before the pandemic, and we've been discussing this topic a lot because Bonne just turned 40 and I just quit my full-time job.
The questions we answer on this episode:
- When you were young, is this where you thought your life would be?
- What messages do we get when we’re younger that form our ideas of the path we should take in life?
- How did you define success then, and how about now?
- We’ve both left “normal” corporate lives, what were your reasons for doing this? What kind of path are you following now?
- Why is it so hard to follow our own path? What is blocking us?
- What do you think makes a meaningful life?
Guest: Bonne Chance
Website: http://www.bonnechancecoaching.com/
Instagram: @lebonnechance
If you want to follow my dating journey on Instagram, send me a DM to be added to my close friends @hannahfurst
WORLDS COLLIDING! I am so excited that my Beauty IQ co-host Joanna agreed to join me and Linda to exclusively talk about dating for a whole 40 minutes! And she's been saving up her dating stories just for you guys.
The questions we cover in this episode:
- What was your dating New Year’s Resolution? How’s it going?
- What do you love about being single?
- What are you looking for in a romantic partner? Give us your manifestation list!
- Why do you think I’m still single? BE HONEST!
- Why do you think people are so obsessed with finding someone light, easygoing & who doesn’t take life too seriously?
- What do you wear on a first date?
- I’ve noticed people are really funny about grammar. You studied journalism, what are your thoughts on bad spelling & grammar on Hinge profiles?
- What are your dating icks? Disclaimer: Icks are more of a reflection of you than them!
Joanna's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joannafleming/
Skin FWD Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/skinfwd/
Mum turned 60 so today she shares her life lessons from her 60 years on this non-spiritual earth. Well, non-spiritual to her. I'm more woo-woo than ever.
We also chat about breast reductions, hot flushes, spiritual awakenings, status anxiety, having fun and why you need to floss every day.
You can check out her Kanye West flowers: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CM8LnyaDC-1/
Fave quote from the ep? Linda saying, "We can't blame our parents for everything!"
Thanks to this week's sponsor Foreo, innovative skincare tools for healthy and glowing skin. Every purchase of UFO 2 receives a FREE box of Bulgarian Rose Masks & FOREO spa headband.The perfect gift for mother's day! Check it out here:
https://www.foreo.com/mothers-day?utm_source=singlemindedpod&utm_medium=ppr&utm_content=&utm_campaign=ppr-mothersday2021-ufo2-foreo-aae-top-brand-eng-au
As soon as I saw Lane Moore on stage at TEDX, wearing a velvet suit, I was like, "Yep, I need to meet her." And meet we did, on opposites sides of the world, on everyone's favourite app, Zoom! And despite being far away, we found comfort sharing our struggles (and triumphs) over loneliness.
Lane Moore is an award-winning comedian, actor, writer, and musician based in New York City. She is the author of the book How To Be Alone: If You Want To And Even If You Don’t, which her TEDx Talk was based on.
And she's also single - she hosts a comedy show “Tinder Live!”. I think the Instagram bio sums this concept up perfectly: Created by anti-fuckboy enthusiast @hellolanemoore🖤live comedy show exploring the best of the worst dudes on dating apps.
The questions we cover in this episode:
- What has been your journey with loneliness and being alone?
- Has your relationship with your alone time changed?
- Why has travelling alone become a thing that requires courage? What do you love about solo travel?
- How does your comedy show “Tinder Live!” work? What are some standout dating profiles you’ve come across during your show?
Lane's website: https://www.lanemoore.org/
Lane's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hellolanemoore/
How To Be Alone - the book: https://www.amazon.com.au/How-Be-Alone-Want-Even/dp/1501178830/
How To Be Alone - the TEDx talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGZ5QWdfzhw&t=313s
And if you'd like to added to my close friends on Instagram to follow my Bachelorette updates, send me a DM here: https://www.instagram.com/hannahfurst
MY DAD JOINS AS CO-HOST TODAY... And Linda isn't happy about it! Because today we're getting a male dating coach's perspective on dating, so naturally I wanted my dad's thoughts on my own romantic prospects.
Damien Diecke is the founder of School of Attraction, one of Australia's largest dating coaching companies, featuring in GQ and other major publications. Damien created a strategy to date women that was based on strategies he used to overcome his Severe Generalised Anxiety Disorder, with sincerity at the centre of what he teaches. School of Attraction was founded on the idea that attracting a partner should be about self-confidence, not lying, pretending, or manipulating.
The questions we cover in this episode:
- What strategies did you use in your dating life to help you overcome your severe generalised anxiety disorder?
- You specialise in helping men date; what are some of the key themes you see with your clients? What are some of their biggest struggles?
- Are all our struggles with dating the same? Do we need a little more empathy for each other?
- What is sincere seduction?
- What's your top dating tip?
Damien's website: https://www.schoolofattraction.com.au/
And if you'd like to added to my close friends on Instagram to follow my Bachelorette updates, send me a DM here: https://www.instagram.com/hannahfurst/
"For the millions of Americans who consider themselves quiet, shy, introverted, or socially anxious... A groundbreaking roadmap to finally being your true, authentic self." When I read this on the cover of Dr Ellen Hendriksen's book How To Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic And Rise Above Social Anxiety, I knew I had to speak to her!
Dr Ellen Hendriksen is a clinical psychologist who completed her training at Harvard Medical School, has a PhD from UCLA and she actually personally lives with social anxiety. She helps people with social anxiety to develop confidence, think through the buzz of anxiety, and feel comfortable in any situation, so that they can be their true, authentic self.
The questions we cover in this episode:
- What is social anxiety?
- Can extroverts have social anxiety? What’s the difference between social anxiety and introversion and shyness?
- What are some of the themes explored in your book?
- What are some myths about social anxiety?
- What are the upsides of social anxiety?
- What’s it like dating with social anxiety?
- What are some practical tips for people avoiding dating due to anxiety?
Ellen's website: https://www.ellenhendriksen.com/
Ellen's book: https://www.amazon.com.au/How-Be-Yourself-Critic-Anxiety/dp/1250161703
And if you'd like to added to my close friends on Instagram to follow my Bachelorette updates, send me a DM here: https://www.instagram.com/hannahfurst/
Things are gonna go a little differently this week! Every day from Thursday to Sunday, we will be releasing a quickie episodes, which will answer one listener question.
Thanks to Audrey Claire from My Wingwoman. Check out her upcoming workshops:
https://mywingwoman.com.au/workshops/
Things are gonna go a little differently this week! Every day from Thursday to Sunday, we will be releasing a quickie episodes, which will answer one listener question.
Thanks to Audrey Claire from My Wingwoman. Check out her upcoming workshops:
https://mywingwoman.com.au/workshops/
Things are gonna go a little differently this week! Every day from Thursday to Sunday, we will be releasing a quickie episodes, which will answer one listener question.
Thanks to Audrey Claire from My Wingwoman. Check out her upcoming workshops:
https://mywingwoman.com.au/workshops/
Things are gonna go a little differently this week! Every day from Thursday to Sunday, we will be releasing a quickie episodes, which will answer one listener question.
Thanks to Audrey Claire from My Wingwoman. Check out her upcoming workshops:
https://mywingwoman.com.au/workshops/
I contacted journalist Bibi Lynch after reading some of her stories online about sex and dating over 50... Little did I know the direction this interview would take and how it completely would change my (and Linda's) perspective on involuntary childlessness.
Bibi Lynch is a journalist, writer, and broadcaster, she co-hosts the podcast Good Sex Bad Sex and is the proud creator of the acronym WHIPs(Women who are Hot, Intelligent and in their Prime). Bibi joins me to chat about dating and sex over 50, accepting your body as you get older, not feeling invisible in her 50s, dating on Twitter and she very openly and honestly shares her grief about not having children.
You can read more of Bibi's work on her website:
https://bibilynch.com/
Bibi's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bibilynch/
Gateway Women: https://gateway-women.com/
And if you'd like to added to my close friends on Instagram to follow my Bachelorette updates, send me a DM here: https://www.instagram.com/hannahfurst/
How did Linda and I get onto the topic of male sex robots? Don't ask me... Linda has officially gone rogue, and I'm here for it.
I follow clinical sexologist Naomi Hutchings on Instagram, where she posts hilarious memes under the handle @australiansexologist, and I reached out to her to chat about a completely different topic. She wrote back: "I loved my single time and remember it fondly, I consciously took time to date myself. I even took a year off of sex during that single time."
So, I ditched all my questions and asked if we could instead chat about her experiences of consciously choosing to take time of sex and dating.
We cover the following questions:
- Why did you decide to take a year off sex and dating?
- Do you think there’s a lot of pressure for both couples and singles to have more sex?
- There’s almost a stigma around not having enough sex - what’s normal and what’s not?
- What were other people’s reactions to you choosing not to have sex for a year?
- Was it hard to come back into the dating scene after a year off dating?
- Is there a difference between consciously choosing to be celibate for a period and feeling like you’re “not having any luck”?
- As a sexologist, what are the most common issues you see come up for single women? Or women in general?
If you'd like to learn more about Henry (not my sister's boyfriend Henry, the other Henry):
https://www.wired.com/story/henry-the-sexbot-wants-to-know-all-your-hopes-and-dreams/
And if you'd like to added to my close friends on Instagram to follow my Bachelorette updates, send me a DM here: https://www.instagram.com/hannahfurst/
Guest: Naomi Hutchings
Website: https://www.naomihutchings.com.au/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/australiansexologist/
Do you often think your finances are your future self's problem? Well, you're not alone... I also struggle to keep to my budget and, yes, I like to spend my money on trips to Thailand, so it was time to bring in a financial expert.
Victoria Devine is a financial advisor and the host of Australia's leading business podcast She's On The Money. We chat about budgeting, why it's okay to spend money on lifestyle (but not alllll your money), how to start investing in shares, buying your first home and why it's okay to ask dad for help.
Mum and I also did a little activity today: we wrote down our ideal partner for me, and luckily both of us agreed on one crucial characteristic.
Guest: Victoria Devine
Website: https://www.shesonthemoney.com.au/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/victoria_devine/
"The “fun” part of being single isn’t dating. The fun part of being single is no different than the fun part of living life any other way. The fun part is what makes you happy, what gives you purpose. You will never convince me that married people have more purpose in being alive than I do."
I read these words by Shani Silver and instantly knew that I needed to meet her (under the guise of interviewing her, obvi).
Shani is 38, a writer and a podcaster, living in Brooklyn. She's been single for 12 years, and she's not ashamed of or upset about that. She is also on a mission to help single women change the stigma and shame around single women. Her attitude to single life is so infectious that even Linda doesn't give a flying fuck if I stay single forever.
Okay, maybe she gives one tiny, little fuck. BUT, of her own volition, she's decided to stop making excuses for my single status when well-meaning friends ask Soooooo, has Hannah met someone yet?We cover off the following questions:
- You've mentioned one of your top values is freedom - me too, I did a whole episode on it - what does freedom mean to you?
- Why is there so much shame around being single? How have you flipped the script for yourself?
- In one of your articles, you said "The fun part of being single is no different than the fun part of living life any other way. The fun part is what makes you happy, what gives you purpose. You will never convince me that married people have more purpose in being alive than I do." - I just love and relate to this so much; there's not one path in life that leads to happiness. What's the best part of being single?
- You have a whole community of single women - what kinds of themes come up in your conversations with them?
- You go to Paris every year alone - I go to Thailand - what do you love about it? Are you a big holiday romance person like me?
This was one of the most enlightening interviews I've done, and I wish we could've covered all bases in 30 mins. Do yourself a favour and check out her Single Girl Syllabus, it's the perfect resource to feel better about being alone:
https://www.shanisilver.com/home/2020/3/17/the-single-girl-syllabus-reading-for-feeling-better-about-being-alone
Guest: Shani Silver
Website: https://www.shanisilver.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shanisilver/
Why do people cheat? And how do you recover if you've been cheated on?
There's a lot of statistics around who is more likely to cheat, but WHY do people cheat? Linda and I discuss one of the most viewed videos on infidelity by Esther Perel, with over 9.5 million views. You can watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2AUat93a8Q&ab_channel=TED
Esther Perel says, "When we seek the gaze of another, it isn't always our partner we're turning away from but the person we ourselves have become. We aren't looking for another person but looking for another self."
But what about the person being cheated on? I first discovered Jess' story on the Love Etc podcast, and I really wanted to know what happened in the aftermath of her story. How was her self esteem affected? How did she get back into the dating scene? What does she love about being single now? And I was happy to hear it's a happy ending for Jess. Spoiler alert: she is living her best life! I hope this gives hope to anyone out there who has recently been cheated on.
Guest: Jess Rae King
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jessraeking/
Dear listeners, we love your dating stories! Submit your weirdest, wildest, worst or most wonderful dating stories via Instagram DMs @hannahfurst or email a voice memo to singlemindedpod@gmail.com
WELCOME TO A BONUS EPISODE OF SINGLE MINDED... BECAUSE I'M A BIT OF A "MOVIE BUFF". Please note there are spoilers throughout so if you haven't seen Promising Young Woman, either skip it or take yourself out on a solo date and see it!
Today I'm joined by Dr Janice Loreck to discuss Promising Young Woman. We chat about complicated female characters, women expressing rage on screen, the cinematic joy of watching men bumping and grinding on a dancefloor in their suits and I also ask some hard-hitting questions like, is going to the movies a good first date idea? We also chat about our shared love of going to the movies alone, and why you should definitely take yourself on a date to the movies ASAP.
Janice is a lecturer in Screen and Cultural Studies at Melbourne Uni; she has a PhD in Film and Screen Studies, and her research expertise centres on cinefeminism & women's filmmaking. She is the author of the book Violent Women in Contemporary Cinema and has published in numerous international journals on feminist film theory.
Dr Loreck is also a co-organiser and founding member of the Melbourne Women in Film Festival (MWFF), a not-for-profit festival aimed at celebrating and supporting the work of women filmmakers and creatives.
You can find find her on Twitter here: https://twitter.com/janiceloreck
WHEN I GET THAT FEELIN' I WANT SENSUAL HEALIN'
Today we get to the bottom of Hannah versus Hena with Instagram's Queen Of Sensuality. Our lives are all GO, and not enough FLOW. So, how do we allow ourselves to slow down and go with the floooooow (even when we're not on holidays)?
Linda thinks that massaging her tennis elbow will get her more in touch with her body lol.
This is Single Minded, the podcast flipping the script on being single. Because being single is awesome.
On today's episode, I chat to Eleanor Hadley, who describes sensuality as 'Mindfulness 2.0'. Eleanor is a Sensuality Coach, Sex Educator and Founder of Sesualista Flow, a uniquely feminine movement practice designed to empower students to reclaim their innate sensuality. And she is on a mission to help you embody your femininity, enhance your sex-life and elevate your relationships.
We also touch on how to slow down and live a little more simply, even when you're not in Thailand. So (as Linda recommends), it's time to put some Barry White on and slow dance your way through the chores!
Guest: Eleanor Hadley
Website: https://www.eleanorhadley.com/
Instagram: http://instagram.com/eleanorhadley
Dear listeners, we love your dating stories! Submit your weirdest, wildest, worst or most wonderful dating stories via Instagram DMs @hannahfurst or email a voice memo to singlemindedpod@gmail.com
Have you ever been so stressed at work that you start watching really random YouTube videos, like "The 21 Hour Work Week" and "Quitting The Day Job & Starting Van Life" and "A Rich Life With Less Stuff" and "Man Quits $80k Job to Work in Grocery Store Part-Time"?
In my YouTube rabbit hole, I came across a Ted Talk titled "How Stress is Killing Us (And How You Can Stop It)", which, as it happens, was how I discovered today's guest. So, I decided to interview Thijs Launspach for my podcast to help myself (and anyone listening) to manage our stress in more productive ways.
In other words, "How Not To Quit Your Job Via Email After Not Sleeping For Three Days". Hey, that'd be a pretty good Ted Talk topic?
This is Single Minded, the podcast flipping the script on being single. Because being single is awesome.
The reason this topic is so important to me is that the media seems to think women have only three choices in life: Children, career or trying to balance both. When people my age started getting married and having families, I felt like I had no other choice but to throw myself 1000% into my career, which eventually led to chronic stress and insomnia.
Thijs is a Dutch psychologist, an author and an expert on stress management, burnout and millennials. And he’s written books on these very subjects: Fokking druk (‘Effing busy’), Het Millennial Manifest (‘The Millennial Manifesto’, 2017) and Quarterlife (2012).
So if you're fokking over being fokking stressed, then you'll really enjoy this episode.
Guest: Thijs Launspach
Website: https://www.thijslaunspach.nl/
His Ted Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyyPZJrDfkM&ab_channel=TEDxTalks
Dear listeners, we love your dating stories! Submit your "the worst, the weird and the wonderful" stories via Instagram @hannahfurst or email a voice memo to singlemindedpod@gmail.com
Linda told a sexy story on today's podcast, prefacing it with, "I've never told you this story, it's too embarrassing."
BUT YOU'RE OKAY TELLING THOUSANDS OF LISTENERS? Linda is a true content creator now. Our new family motto is: "Anything for the content."
This is Single Minded, the podcast flipping the script on being single. Because being single is awesome.
On today's episode, I chat to one of our listeners, Emma. YES IT'S MY FIRST LISTENER INTERVIEW! Fellow 30-something single girl, Emma, shared her project 'Budget Bachelorette', and I instantly knew THIS IS THE CONTENT WE NEED IN 2021. Her goal? To flip the narrative of the 'modern dating is shit' trope. None of her dates have been a success, if success is measured by wanting to go on a second date. HOWEVER, they've been FUN.
Maybe we need to redefine our definition of success when it comes to dating?
SO, SINGLE MINDED LADIES, LET'S MAKE DATING FUN AGAIN! As Emma says, "it's an opportunity to meet someone new, have a few drinks, and see how things go..."
Or an opportunity to go skinny dipping. But more on that in the episode.
If you're keen to read more about 101 Nights of Great Sex: Secret Sealed Seductions for Fun-Loving Couples, here's Linda's book recommendation: https://www.amazon.com.au/101-Nights-Great-Sex-2020-dp-0578551667/dp/0578551667/ref=dp_ob_title_bk
Maybe she should start a book club? Anything for the content...
Guest: Emma
Her Instagram: @emmypens
Don't forget to DM her and ask to be added to her close friends if you're keen to watch her Budget Bachelorette highlights
Dear listeners, I want to hear more of your weird and wonderful dating stories. Hit me up on Instagram @hannahfurst to share yours.
Me: "The legend goes that Koh Phangan in Thailand is sitting on rose quartz which is a healing crystal energy... And that's why it's so magical."
Linda: "Well... Okay... I can't get with the program but whatever floats your boat."
This is Single Minded, the podcast flipping the script on being single. Because being single is awesome.
On today's episode, I fill Linda in on my psychic reading and energy healing sessions I had over the Christmas break. Linda doesn't believe in psychics, but she is open to learning more about energy. Enter Raelene... I did a 90 minute healing session with her on the last day of 2020, and afterwards had the BEST SLEEP OF MY LIFE. You can't argue with that kind of scientific research, now can you Linda? When Raelene asked me what I wanted clarity on, of course I said men.
At the end of the sesh, I had a BIG lightbulb moment.
Um... Do I choose the wrong men???
One of the most profound things Raelene said to me in our session was: "You are your purpose." What the hell does that mean? You'll have to listen to the episode to find out ;)
Guest: Raelene Byrne
Her website: https://raelenebyrne.com/
Her eBooks: https://raelenebyrne.com/ebooks
You can book in for energy work here: https://raelenebyrne.com/90-and-60-minute-consultations/
Something that Kat said this week reaaaaaally resonated with Linda. Kat said she used to morph into her partners (which wasn't a good thing) and Linda remembered when she first started dating my dad, she told him that she loooooved to camp (even though she'd never been). That didn't last long lol. THEN DAD MORPHED INTO LINDA, and now he won't come camping WITH ME!
This is Single Minded, the podcast flipping the script on being single. Because being single is awesome.
On today's episode, I chat to life coach and medication teacher Kat John, who also founded the dance movement Zero Fks Tuesday, also known on Instagram as #zftuesday. I've been to a number of her dance events and OMG THEY ARE AMAZING! You will be high on life in a matter of songs.
Kat and I talk about her journey from chronic pain to freedom, as well as why she abstained from dating for 18 months, how she met her current partner and why dance is so healing. AND THIS WEEK I'M GONNA DO MY VERY FIRST #ZFTUESDAY VIDEO SO FOLLOW ME AND PLAY ALONG @hannahfurst
And don't forget, dear listeners... Save your fks for the things that matter.
Guest: Kat John
Her website: https://katjohn.com.au/
Her Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kat.john/
And definitely check out the hashtag to get inspired: https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/zftuesday/
GREETINGS FROM (NOT A) VIRGIN RIVER! Linda and I have a lot to catch up with since I got over the border into Queensland, including manifesting my very own Jack Sheridan.
This is Single Minded, the podcast flipping the script on being single. Because being single is awesome.
On today's episode, I chat to Shaun Galanos, love coach and the founder of The Love Drive. I discovered his bite-sized dating advice through Tik Tok, where he has over 230k followers.
We chat about ghosting, his top dating tips and how to flirt with confidence. I really loved his philosophy that if flirting stresses you out, just don't do it. Just be you!
Guest: Shaun Galanos
His flirting course: https://thelovedrive.com/flirting-and-connection-course/
His Instagram & Tik Tok: @TheLoveDrive
The Love Drive podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-love-drive-with-shaun-galanos/id1355859570
LINDA WENT ROGUE THIS WEEK! After I interviewed Alexandra Collier on her experiences on becoming a single mother with a sperm donor, Linda decided to reach out to her via email to ask her all the important questions that I had apparently missed... Alexandra (or as Linda now knows her, Ally) kindly obliged.
This is Single Minded, the podcast flipping the script on being single. Because being single is awesome.
On today's episode, I chat to writer Alexandra Collier, who lived in New York for 10 years, before moving to Melbourne to start the process of becoming a single mother by choice. AND I HAD SO MANY QUESTIONS! As someone that is considering freezing their eggs, it was inspiring to hear from a woman who is breaking down the stigma of having a child alone.
You can read her Sydney Morning Herald piece here: https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life-and-relationships/leaving-the-land-of-romantic-fantasy-why-i-chose-to-be-a-single-mum-20201007-p562xu.html
"Leaving the land of romantic fantasy"... HERE, HERE!
Guest: Alexandra Collier
Her website: https://www.alexandracollier.com/
Her Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexandracollierwrites/
In the wise words of the poet Britney Spears:
My loneliness is killing me
I must confess I still believe
When I'm not with you I lose my mind
Give me a sign, hit me baby one more time
They say that millennials are the loneliest generation, despite being hyper-connected by social media. Why do we feel so lonely when there’s a million strangers to chat to online? I dunno… Maybe because we’re lacking meaningful, IRL connections. I know I'm guilty of thinking a DM can replace a D&M.
This is Single Minded, the podcast flipping the script on being single. Because being single is awesome.
On today's episode, I chat to Vanessa Staub, a psychologist and the co-founder of Be Well Collective, about the difference between loneliness and being alone, and she also gives some practical tips to find and connect with your tribe.
Now that lockdown is over, it’s time to get myself out of my comfort zone and go on a few friendship dates. Wish me luck!
Guest: Vanessa Staub
Her website: https://www.thebewellcollective.com.au/
Be Well Collective Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_bewellcollective/
Vanessa’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vanessastaubpsychology/
DID LINDA HAVE "THE TALK"? You'd be surprised to know that she didn't. Instead, I had to binge-watch every season of Sex And The City to learn about sex. Who else bought a back massager after Samantha recommended it? No, just me??
This is Single Minded, the podcast flipping the script on being single. Because being single is awesome.
On today's episode, I chat to Cheryl Fagan, a Sex Educator and Sexologist with degrees in psychology & sexual and reproductive health. She is also the founder of On Top, an e-learning platform that provides holistic sex education. We usually think of sex as involving the mind and the body, but holistic sex education is about mind, body and spirit. YES, SPIRITUAL SEX IS A THING!
Cheryl and I chat about what a sexologist does, why she's passionate about creating shame-free spaces to talk about sex and how we can move past our blockages to pursue our sexual fantasies.
The books Cheryl suggests are below:
- Slow Sex by Nicole Daedone
- Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski
- Love Worth Making by Stephen Snyder
You can also check out her card deck here: http://cherylfagan.org/the-shop/closeness-card-deck
Guest: Cheryl Fagan
Her website: http://cherylfagan.org/
Instagram: @cherylfagan
YES I KNOW WE CAN'T TRAVEL INTERNATIONALLY... But we have a big, beautiful country to explore, right here in Australia. As you're listening to this episode, Linda and I will be on a road trip to Byron Bay, so I thought now was the perfect opportunity to give you all my tips and tricks for travelling alone. The only time Linda has ever travelled alone was when she spent a year in London... And her parents flew to London to DROP HER OFF and then a year later, they flew back to London to PICK HER UP. LOL.
So back to solo travel - we cover your most-asked questions: How to meet people? How to avoid dangerous situations? How to find a clean hostel? How to dine solo? And it wouldn't be an episode on solo travel without some of my best travel romance stories.
Colin Farrell, if you're listening, WAS IT YOU?
This is Single Minded, the podcast flipping the script on being single. Because being single is awesome.
Don't forget to rate, review and subscribe - and share your experiences with doing the challenge with me on Instagram over at @hannahfurst
LINDA HAS ANOTHER PINTEREST BOARD I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT. Only a person married for 33 years would be mood-boarding a separate bathroom for her husband with its own urinal. This week Linda and I chat about why she got married, why she wanted to wear a white dress and she finally reveals her secret tattoos (EVEN THOUGH SHE DISOWNS ME EVERY TIME I GET A NEW TATTOO).
This is Single Minded, the podcast flipping the script on being single. Because being single is awesome.
Netflix did Marriage Story, so Single Minded is doing DIVORCE STORY. On today's episode, comedian and fellow Melburnian, Bianka Ismailovski, joins me to chat about separating from her husband during a global pandemic and what it’s like dating as a 30 year-old divorcee (hint: lots of orgasms). She also reveals why HER mum got “never again” tattooed on her finger. Can we swap mums, Bianka?
Bianka is the host of the podcast We Want To Be Better and I Want To Be Her Friend. She recently started her own pod Damsel Undistressed, which follows her on her journey from divorce to independence.
Guest: Bianka Ismailovski
Listen to Damsel Undistressed: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/damsel-undistressed/id1535867660
Her website: https://annieandbianka.com.au/
Instagram: @biankaismailovski
Don't forget to rate, review and subscribe - and share your experiences with doing the challenge with me on Instagram over at @hannahfurst
HAVE YOU BEEN LOVE BOMBED? I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I HAD UNTIL THIS INTERVIEW. I thought it was normal for guys to ask you to move in after three dates. No, just me? Linda discovers she's also been love bombed. After listening to today's interview, Linda's finally ready to delete the Pinterest board of my future-non-existent wedding.
This is Single Minded, the podcast flipping the script on being single. Because being single is awesome.
On today's episode, psychotherapist and the founder of of the website Loving Me After We - Ginger Dean - joins me to chat about RED FLAGS. Ginger helps women heal after toxic relationships by focussing less on getting over someone by getting under someone else and more on self-love and rebuilding confidence.
Guest: Ginger Dean
YouTube Channel: https://www.lovingmeafterwe.com/
Instagram: @lovingmeafterwe
Don't forget to rate, review and subscribe - and share your experiences with doing the challenge with me on Instagram over at @hannahfurst
What happens when going home with someone on the first date turns into 33 years of marriage? YEP, THIS WEEK LINDA SPILLS THE TEA ON HER FIRST DATE WITH MY DAD!
This is Single Minded, the podcast flipping the script on being single. Because being single is awesome.
On today's episode, sex columnist and sex-positive YouTuber Nadia Bokody joins me to chat all things casual sex aka The One Night Stand. Because I really wanna know how we can have better sex from day one. I love that Nadia proudly has no concept of TMI, and is normalising conversations around sex and pleasure. So, a little content warning that this episode is for mature audiences only.
Here's the article we chat about if you're interested in reading more about her experiences with one night stands: https://www.mamamia.com.au/one-night-stand-stories/
Hope you enjoy playing along with this week's challenge, and don't forget to DM me on the gram to tell me all about it.
Guest: Nadia Bokody
YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/c/NadiaBokody
Instagram: @nadiabokody
Don't forget to rate, review and subscribe - and share your experiences with doing the challenge with me on Instagram over at @hannahfurst
LOCKDOWN IS OVER... So it's time to manifest ALL the high vibes in 2021. What better way to do that than to talk about Linda's least favourite topic: high vibrational energy and manifestation. I think the best moment was Linda calling The Secret "The Promise".
This is Single Minded, the podcast flipping the script on being single. Because being single is awesome.
On today's episode, life coach and fellow spiritual seeker Bonne Chance joins me to... oh my god... there is so much to unpack in this episode I don't even know where to begin. Bonne and I met in Thailand (duh, where else?) while she was on her own Eat Pray Love journey, and we became fast friends. She is brimming with wisdom and light and positive energy... And she wants more women to find more joy. I honestly could've spoken to her for another 10 hours, but I tried not to turn this interview into my own personal coaching session.
This week's challenge is a toughie, but a goodie. Hope you enjoy playing along, and don't forget to DM me on the gram to tell me all about it.
Guest: Bonne Chance
Website: http://www.bonnechancecoaching.com/
Instagram: @lebonnechance
Don't forget to rate, review and subscribe - and share your experiences with doing the challenge with me on Instagram over at @hannahfurst
I didn't scare Linda off... So we're BACK! This is Single Minded, the podcast flipping the script on being single. Because being single is awesome.
On today's episode, dating coach Audrey Claire from My Wingwoman joins me to talk all things dating apps. The good, the bad and the ugly. She shares both practical advice, but also reminds us that the apps are 'JUST A TOOL'. Not a treasure chest of gold waiting to be opened. My mind was blown.
This week's challenge for any single gals out there wanting to play along: it's time to "upgrade" to a video chat with someone you're chatting to on the apps. Linda is not playing along this week; HOWEVER, she did jump on my Hinge to update my profile to attract the right mate for her... lol.
Guest: Audrey Claire
Website: https://mywingwoman.com.au/
Instagram: @my.wingwoman
Don't forget to rate, review and subscribe - and share your experiences with doing the challenge with me on Instagram over at @hannahfurst
WELCOME WELCOME! This is Single Minded, the podcast flipping the script on being single. Whether you're dating, not dating, dating yourself or just having fun, you are welcome here.
On today's episode, MAFS matchmaker Mel Schilling joins me to share her story as a 30-something single who had given up on meeting someone, and she shares a lot of the wisdom about what she's learnt along the way.
Freedom as a core value was something Mel and I both share, but everyone's values are different, so the challenge this week is to do a core values exercise. Even Linda is playing along. Here's the one I did: https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTED_85.htm
Guest: Mel Schilling
Website: https://melanieschilling.com/
Instagram: @mel_schilling1
Don't forget to rate, review and subscribe - and share your experiences with doing the challenge with me on Instagram over at @hannahfurst