Courage and Spice: the podcast for humans with Self-doubt: Recent Episodes
Sas Petherick
Hey guys and gals and non-binary pals! Courage + Spice is the podcast for humans with self-doubt, hosted by me: Sas Petherick. I literally have a masters degree in self-doubt and I've spent almost a decade coaching hundreds of people how to develop robust self-belief. You can expect interviews with delightful humans, evidence-based resources and original proven coaching tools. If self-doubt is holding you back in your relationships, career, creativity or your business, Courage + Spice is especially for you.
I’ve spent a lot of this year thinking about the Coaching industry. It is undoubtedly going through a somewhat sticky phase of maturing - for some of us, this is a long-time-coming-reckoning.
The increasing focus on ethics and having a scope of practice, being trauma-informed, calling out the training organisations that replicate unhealthy practices is all for the good - particularly when it comes to outcomes for our beloved clients.
And if you are a coach, this shift in the industry can feel a little discombobulating, it can understanably bring up self-doubt.
In this episode I share more about how I am showing up to support coaches, and specifically, what I think we need to focus on - what really matters for creating a sustainable, successful practice.
If you are in coach training, or you’ve been a resident of Planet Coach for a while, this is for you!
Mentioned in this Episode:
2025 Ripen Coaches Circle
Three OG Coaches Talking Shop
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit saspetherick.substack.com
IMHO, the best kind of humans can access deep joy and light because they have sat in their darkness and shadows. Olivia is exactly that!
We talk about the path from anger, pain, shame and addiction to living from a quiet mind and safe body. Olivia shares how breathwork blew her heart open and invited her to follow what she calls ‘the yellow brick road home to myself’.
Breathwork is such a mysterious and deceptively simple practice. Olivia describes how peaceful, soft, and undefended she feels, how she is able to lean into challenging experiences, in particular, grieving for her mother right now. It’s so lush to hear her describe this.
Now, Olivia is a breathwork practitioner; she holds women's circles and the most divine retreats (on my bucket list for when we return to the UK).
Listen in for the richest conversation about what self-love looks and feels like. What it means to let go of labels of ‘good and bad’, to feel our feelings, to build our capacity to be in the mess of life.
I found our first date so healing, I just know you will love Olivia.
Connect with Olivia:
Website and Instagram.
Self-belief School with Sas
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit saspetherick.substack.com
In my former life, I was in the business of corporate goals - we called these projects - and I was responsible for some of the biggest, hairiest, riskiest projects in the UK (that life is almost unfathomable to me now). #nowonderIdrank
We often had a team of physics grads who managed an enormous Gannt chart - the project plan. We talked about The Plan endlessly. It was forever being updated, changed, added to, and reported on.
We worshipped that thing.
I suspect that in the face of so many moving parts and dependencies, not to mention all the humans involved, the money involved - we were trying to hold on to some morsel of control. Of certainty.
But the plan NEVER reflected reality! Because things take longer than we think, people get sick or change jobs; we meet unexpected hurdles. Decisions get made in basement rooms in Whitehall, and the whole thing changes.
If there is one thing I learned, it’s that doing anything is bloody complicated.
When I burned out for the third time because I was not made for that level of stress, became a coach working with humans with self-doubt, I found we experience the same challenges for personal goals, on a more manageable scale.
Self-doubt is often a huge part of our personal goals - which makes so much sense - we are stepping into the unknown to bring something into existence.
However, no mainstream approach to goals takes our humanity, or Self-doubt into account. Instead, we are told we must be consistent, have willpower, be disciplined, and be organised. We are told our doubts, fears and worries should be dismissed or ignored. Its like having an internalised personal trainer yelling at us the whole time.
But after working with hundreds of humans over the years, I can tell you that none of that even matters.
In this episode of the podcast, I share the five things that pretty much guarantee goal success.
These qualities are woven into my Courage-based Goals coaching programme, which is currently open for enrolment!
If you’ve been stopping and starting on something that matters to you - a habit change, a creative goal, a desire for some new way of being - listen in!
In this episode:
Courage-based Goals: a 50-day coaching programme specifically designed for humans with self-doubt. If you are procrastinating on your goal - come and join us lovely - there is a spot just for you. We start on the 22nd of October and there is an early-bird price available right now 🐦⬛
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit saspetherick.substack.com
I’m so excited for you all to meet my newest friend: Nici Wickes. Cookbook author, beloved TV star, restaurant reviewer and food editor for various publications, Nici is a national treasure here in Aotearoa.
We discuss the often undervalued experience of living alone. Nici speaks candidly about finding joy and fulfilment inside of a full midlife, living solo, and what she has learned about herself.
Our conversation moves through Nici’s experiences during New Zealand's lockdowns when she kept herself and her followers company with cooking videos. This reveals the powerful impact social media can have in fostering community and connection. Her reflections on the importance of creating meaningful connections without following the well-worn script are filled with humour and heartfelt honesty.
I know you are going to love Nici!
Quoteable bits:
"I look back now, and that was a big part of writing A Quiet Kitchen, which is, as you say, it's only a cookbook on the surface, to be honest, and the rest of is sort of memoiry, self-helpy. Because I wish I'd read a book when I was in my 30s and 40s about how you could happily have a life on your own."
“I reckon it's a really good idea, if you're on your own and feeling lonely, to move to a small place. I really do. I took a swim this morning and then stopped at the coffee shop, had coffee with a few characters, and had a few chats. That was nice. I reckon it really works.”
“I think the difference now for me is if you abandon me as a friend or a lover because you don't like what you're seeing, what I know now is I won't abandon me. I've now got my own back and I'm still learning about that. And it's that beautiful liberation of going: I can be imperfect now.”
Mentioned in this episode:
Nici on Instagram | Website
A Quiet Kitchen
More from A Quiet Kitchen
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit saspetherick.substack.com
It’s a delight to be back in your earholes after quite a long break since the last episode - Sas
If you are experiencing a major change in your life, you’ll know what I mean by a Life Quake.
These experiences shake up our foundations of who we know ourselves to be; we can feel quite unmoored and at sea. This episode is especially for you if you are going through this kind of change right now, if you know you are entering a period of change or maybe coming out of one.
I thought it would be helpful to delve into this process and maybe what to expect. It can be a huge relief to discover that there does tend to be an overall pattern to these periods, especially when you are experiencing a lot of uncertainty and/or chaos.
I’m also sharing a bit of behind-the-scenes from my own Life Quake over the last nine months, what happened, and how I’m making sense of things now.
My hope is that this episode helps you feel less alone.
Quoteable bits:
"It might be our first rodeo, but it won't be our last. We do keep changing and growing. We're always becoming, if we're lucky."
"There is the sense of being able to really see the love and the light of each person. Even those people who are behaving in ways that I find objectionable - I worry about the distance they've travelled to leave their humanity behind. What has happened to them for them to think this is okay?"
"When that kind of grieving and shock begins to subside, we start to imagine sometimes quite big and wild options. Now that we're no longer that, what will we choose to become?"
Mentioned in this episode:
New glowed-up website!
Everything page
Lianne Raymond (who shared the dragonfly analogy)
Sammie Flemming
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit saspetherick.substack.com
My brilliant guest today is Karen Arthur, menopause activist, campaigner, and host of the podcast Menopause whilst Black. She is also a teacher, a fashionista, and a grandmother, and does all of this with unrelnting wholehearted joy.
Karen joins us to talk about the balance of feeling joy amidst increasingly troubling world news, embracing the aging process, and putting your energy toward meaningful change, note to mention a whole range of goodness about how we connect ourselves to the world.
You can find out mroe about Karen at https://www.thekarenarthur.com/
QUOTES
“Instagram is my weapon of choice. And I don’t mind being visible as long as I’m visible on my own terms.”
“It all goes back to not doing something just because everybody else is doing it, but doing it because it feels right.”
“I’m loving the collective resistance that I'm seeing happening around the world, whether it's walking out of the Senate, schools, turning up for marches, speaking out, having vigils. It's incredible.”
Welcome to a new season of Courage & Spice, and to the Age of Aquarius! For those less astrologically inclined, this means that 2024 has arrived with a big sense of newness – new ideas, new adventures, new opportunities, it’s all on the way.
With just a few weeks before I officially move from our home in Bristol to Aotearoa, New Zealand, I’m experiencing fresh starts left and right. Tune in for some transformative life updates, plus a brand new freebie and news from the world of Self-belief School!
Want to get unstick and into ACTION? Sign up for the Ultimate Procrastination Interrupter here: https://selfbelief.school/procrastination-signup/
Interested in joining the next round of SBCA? You can find all the information here: https://selfbelief.school/sbca/
QUOTES
“When no one else is watching, how do we take care of ourselves?”
“Aquarius is all about speeding up innovation and new ideas… and my god do we need that! We need really smart-brained people to come up with solutions to these complex problems that we're all living with.”
This week, we’re taking a closer look at how to approach the fear of failure so that you can let go of it for good.
The threat of failure brings up a lot of very real worries and feelings, which are completely valid. Failure is so wrapped up in our sense of self, what we’re capable of, and our hopes for the future… no wonder we put so much effort into avoiding it.
In this episode, I share the experiences that taught me to recontextualize goals in terms of ideas, commitment, and decisions. Practice this and you will never fail again!
QUOTES
“Just notice: what are you committed to? Where do you feel that in your body? What are you willing to keep doing until? And then there is no way you can fail.”
“It takes time to really sink into commitment. Every single time you keep a promise to yourself, you're edging closer to sinking into the commitment feeling.”
“It's worth reflecting on your reasoning. Do you love the reason that you've decided to not take an idea into the next stage?”
Are you afraid of failure? You are definitely not alone. The fear of failure is such a big reason for self-doubt to show up.
To complicate it even more, we define failure in so many ways, from not making the cut, to guilt around something unfulfilled, all the way to something simply not going your way.
This is a bit of a personal one for me as I’ve been diagnosed with ‘heart failure’ I’ve been playing with my relationship to failure for the last few months. I want to share my learnings for how I've made some deep peace with this.
Tune in for the first of two special episodes.
QUOTES
“We make failure mean that something is bad or wrong with us, usually because we've been told that. We've been told that failure is a form of humiliation. Of course we would avoid it at all costs if we don't believe we can tolerate it.”
“We forget that because we've failed in the past, we have so much more information. We're experienced, more understanding, older and wiser and more resourced.”
Is you self-doubt tied up in your relationship with money? This week, I'm joined by the Founder of Tended Wealth, Megan DeBoer.
Megan defines wealth as a state of plenty in relationships, health, community, our environment, and of course our finances.
Tune in for a rich discussion on the familial and cultural lineage of money, how we frame our relationship with money based on this history, and what we can do to create new, revolutionary narratives around how we build wealth and what we put it toward.
You can find more about Megan at
https://www.tendedwealth.com/
@tendedwealth
Until the end of February 2024, listeners can use this code for 15% off either of Megan's THRIVE or EXPAND courses: COURAGEANDSPICE
REFERENCED
The Soul of Money by Lynne Twist
Sacred Economics by Charles Eisenstein
QUOTES
“The lived history of your grandparents, your parents, what they had to do to survive and the narratives that formed… all of it makes so much sense in the context of where you find yourself in this moment.”
“If we all share these kinds of stories around our worthiness and our need to work really hard, there's something about that that can be really healing. That sense of ‘I'm not in this alone’ can feel a bit like we're sharing the load.”
“There is cultural and societal status attached to that form of wealth. And so it's radical reclamation of what it is, to see wealth that we create around us and our own bodies, to include in that our communities and the financial health of the people in our communities.”
Business ownership can be the most rewarding way to express who you are – you get to do meaningful work, live your values, and create beautiful things or offer helpful services. At the same time, it can be an epic self-development quest that you probably didn't even realise you were signing up for (I certainly didn’t).
There’s no way to create a business that is risk-free, which means that self-doubt is often waiting around every corner. Listen in for five reasons why business can feel so freakin' hard, and what you can do about it!
If you’re looking for support as a business owner, Bravehearts is a new programme inside of Self-belief School, specifically for business owners. This is low/no content - just coaching and co-working to support you to complete a business goal before Christmas!
We start 6th November. Get access by signing up to Self-belief School right here: https://selfbelief.school/enrol/#bravehearts
QUOTES
‘We think we're just showing up and selling our beautiful work and getting to create a meaningful job for ourselves. But actually, you are going against everything you've been told will keep you safe.’
‘As kids we heard, “do what you're told”. And as adults, we're looking to know the invisible rules of how to be an adult. We end up crowdsourcing our decision-making. And this is because we just aren't shown… how to trust our inner knowing’
‘People are going to unfollow, unsubscribe, disagree with you. These are all just everyday, neutral choices that people make. If we have untended attachment needs, we can make any of these things mean that we are being rejected.’
This episode kicks off an occasional Courage & Spice series on body image, with my brilliant guest and dear friend Professor Phillippa Diedrichs!
Phil is a research psychologist at the Centre for Appearance Research in Bristol, as well as the founder of Everybody Consulting, an academic led consultancy working with global brands to drive social change and improve wellbeing.
Tune in for Phil’s expert perspective on what forms our (often complex) relationship with our own bodies, and the ways we can react to and challenge the effects of the media, capitalism, and societal pressures on our self-perception.
You can find out more about Phil at:
https://www.phillippadiedrichs.com/
https://www.everybodyconsulting.com/
On IG @phillippa.diedrichs
REFERENCES
Gender Magic by Rae McDaniel
QUOTES
“We are judged in terms of how attractive we are, how likable we are, how funny, how smart, how healthy. These are the judgments people make all the time about other people based on how they look, so our appearance to others becomes really important.”
“One of the things that we love as human beings in nature is the diversity. There's so many wonderful combinations of shapes and colours and textures. Imagine if there was only one kind of flower, one colour, one shape. Why do we then try and limit ourselves to that?”
One of the biggest ways that self-doubt holds us back is by telling us that we aren’t ready.
This shows up differently depending on your specific situation. Maybe you’re an artist waiting to feel ready to share your work with an audience, or a writer waiting to contact agents. A coach waiting to perfect your offer before putting it out into the world… even a parent waiting until the kids are older to pursue your dreams.
No matter what your situation, I’ve found that we’re never really waiting to feel ready; we’re waiting to feel safe. Listen in for tips on how to stop the waiting game from holding you back...
...plus BIG news from the world of Self-belief School!
I’d love to invite you to my free workshop, Why am I so mean to me?, which will show you how tospeak to yourself with compassion, encouragement and respect. The workshop will take place on Wednesday 4th October 2023 at 8 pm UK time. All you have to do is register here: https://selfbelief.school/kindness/
Self-belief School is also getting a very exciting update, and will soon be available for you to join at any time! No more waiting for enrolment to open… and certainly no more waiting to be 'ready’ 😁
These changes will be launching next month in October, so be sure to join the waitlist to be the first to hear when you can sign up: https://selfbelief.school/waitlist/
Welcome back to Courage and Spice!
As 2023 continues, today I'm sharing with you a compassionate and deceptively simple self-reflection process that has gotten me through uncertain times recently. Listen in for these two questions that you can use to support yourself when the future doesn’t seem so clear.
QUOTES
“Adulting has real periods of strain. And often there is no neat solution… we have to keep going. There's no destination. I'm unlikely to get to a time where there aren't pressures or some kind of constraint. I need to figure out a way to support myself in this.”
“When the world or our lives feel really complex and uncertain and big, it's almost like we need to meet that with a big solution. But actually, I found that the simpler the solution, the more likely we are to do it.”
Believe it or not, we’re about half-way through the mystery magical adventure that has been 2023! Before we go on a podcast hiatus for the summer, I wanted to share the unexpected and twisty journey that this year has been with you.
In January, if you asked me to imagine where my mind, heart, and even my body would be in July, I would never have come up with where I am now. A lot of this started with a trip back to my home and family in New Zealand, which evolved my relationship with the past and opened a new sense of possibility for the future. Tune in for more on where this has led!
And if you’re interested in feeling more at home in your body, The Embodyment Workshop, is coming to you live in November: https://selfbelief.school/embodyment/
QUOTES
“I’m feeling a mix of grief and loss of leaving here and the people that I deeply care about, and also real excitement and trepidation about taking my business into a whole new place.”
“There’s something about seeing through the haze and the fog of all those worries, doubts, and fears, to actually the truth of right now, in your heart.”
“I’ve been thinking about all the places that I could belong that I maybe haven't allowed myself to, or that I've tried to protect myself from because of some anticipated risk that people won't like me if I go there.”
Are you feeling out of alignment with your natural rhythm? Maybe you don't even know if you have a natural rhythm? Perhaps you are searching for a sense of order outside of the 9 to 5 world of notifications and expectations?
This episode is a treat! Jen Wright is a mentor who works with folks to build values-based, heart-led businesses and she is here to share her expertise in slow, sustainable, cyclical living.
Listen in for her insights on how to tune into your body to create your own unique cycles and rituals, making the most of your time in the most nourishing, fulfilling, and intuitive way.
You can find more about Jen at
https://www.lifealigned.co.uk/
https://www.instagram.com/lifealignedco/
REFERENCES
Lottie Randomly https://www.lottierandomly.com/
QUOTES
“It’s about tuning back into our bodies. Seeing when we can rest, when we can slow down, and when things feel easier for us, rather than just pushing all the time.”
“If we think about a hierarchy of wellness, sleep is the big pillar at the bottom. That's where our body repairs itself, when our natural healing happens. When we dream, we are usually processing stuff from that day. In order to dream, we need to get into depth of sleep.”
“Can you imagine a society where all of us are educated about the cycle of life? Where we ask, what does that actually mean for all of us? And commit to knowing that.”
If you’re not following Keri Jarvis on Instagram @keri_l_jarvis, what are you doing?! Keri is a developmental coach, intersectional feminist, community activist, and all-round bloody ace human.
When we recorded this episode, Keri had posted some brilliant thoughts on Instagram about what it really means to identify with being an ambitious person, and how her own sense of equity, justice and feminism has caused her relationship with ambition to evolve.
We got together to chat more about ambition, getting comfortable with contentment, what gratitude really means in practice, and competition versus collectivism.
Plus a huge amount of amazing references and resources that are sure to send you down a rabbit hole of info and inspo 📚
REFERENCES
You can find Keri’s original post here: https://www.instagram.com/p/CnUDBDBLWcy/
Madeline Pendleton podcast: Pick me up I’m scared
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pick-me-up-im-scared/id1572517571
Madeline on TikTok
https://www.tiktok.com/@madeline_pendleton
Upstream Podcast: UNLEARN EVERYTHING YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW ABOUT ECONOMICS
https://www.upstreampodcast.org/
Upstream on Insta:
https://www.instagram.com/upstreampodcast/
Emergent Strategy Podcast:
https://open.spotify.com/show/3FUEqQ4aPQstyanxBaFfxF
Women have better sex under Socialism:
https://uk.bookshop.org/lists/women-have-better-sex-under-socialism
QUOTES
“All of your consumption decisions, who you choose to work with, who you tell your stories to, the kinds of folks you spend your time with - they all get to be personal decisions.”
“Capitalism says there's not enough to go around, so you have to fight for it. Collective liberation says ‘I don't believe in competition. I want us all to win.’ And some of us are starting at different places, so that means some of us need a ton more resources and support to get to the start line.”
“If we accept that growth is where the happiness is, the inevitability of it, the necessary nature of it, it's not unusual for people to be quite stopped in their tracks and think, ‘why would I want more?’”
My guest today is Ellie Kime, writer, founder of Enthusiast and Co. and publisher of Voracious Magazine. Ellie has a master’s degree in enthusiasm (yes…literally!) and is here to share what it really means to live with unbridled passion for the things you love most.
We’re throwing away surface-level good vibes and toxic positivity and diving deep into what it means to be joyfully enthusiastic. Tune in for advice on how to live by your own rules when it comes to business, hobbies, creativity, and everything in between.
You can find out more about Ellie at:
https://www.theenthusiast.co/about-ellie
https://www.instagram.com/eleanor_mollie/
QUOTES
“My conclusion is to just to stop playing by the rules, cause if we can't win then let's play our own game.”
“Even if you can't find somebody with your very specific enthusiasms, surround yourself with a group of people who really understand the depth of your enthusiasm, the embodiment of how it feels.”
“You've just got to do everything with love. Otherwise what's the point?”
This week I’m speaking with the brilliant Bridgette Boudreau! Bridgette is a master certified life coach; she has been a CEO to multimillion-dollar corporations, built her own business twice, and developed programmes that have trained thousands of coaches… myself included!
Bridgette’s mission these days is to infuse your working life with vision, meaning, growth and healing.
But today, we’re digging even further into a ‘stealth mission’ that we both share, to educate clients, coaches, and any consumer of coaching, to be aware of the shadow side of the coaching industry.
Tune in for insight on the toxic side of manifesting culture, what accountability looks like within coaching practice, and the ways that a good coach will amplify YOUR light.
You can find out more about Bridgette at:
https://www.bridgetteboudreau.com/
https://www.instagram.com/bridgetteboudreau/
REFERENCES
Kelly Diels wrote a great post about the Launch Formula 'mental triggers' approach and why we should do better.
Lianne Raymond: http://www.lianneraymond.com/
QUOTES
“Your limitations shape your purpose just as much as your gifts, strengths, and your light. So it doesn't mean you don't get to be what your heart wants – it means you can stop trying to prove yourself.”
“It's not your fault if you paid a bunch of money to a super coach and they didn't give you the basic consideration that you should get as a customer… It is never okay for somebody to be mean to you, to be cruel to you, to lie to you, to make an example out of you, or to gaslight you.”
“We project our light onto these people. We think they know The Things and they have The Right Way and all that stuff. And that's you. You can trust yourself.”
If you’ve been following along on Instagram, you may have caught that a few weeks ago I posted about my decision to cancel my biggest launch of the year. I had just announced Brave Coach Week, which was a joy to run last year and was shaping up to be the same.
Off the back of that, I was going to announce the next round of the Self Belief Coaching Academy, the course that’s at the centre of my work and heart. All seemed like it should fall into place. And then… I just wasn’t feeling it.
Tune in for my story of what happens when you ditch a launch strategy that just doesn’t seem to fit and embrace the complexity of making decisions that truly align with how you want to show up.
QUOTES
“Can we dispense with any notion that everything has to be a “hell yes”, or it's a no. We're so much more complex and nuanced than this. Decisions are rarely this clear cut, so if it's not clear to you, nothing's gone wrong.”
“It's okay to show up as you are now and to trust that your people will come with you.”
“Money comes from our relationships with people. It comes from trust and consistency, but that means that we really need to know who our clients are. We need to know how our thoughtful services and our helpful products make our clients' lives better.”
This episode is a little piece of magic brought to you live from Aotearoa, New Zealand. The day after I landed from the UK, I boarded a Very Tiny Plane in order to spend the day with dear friend and fellow coach, Sammie Fleming.
Sammie’s coaching practice is all about supporting creatives, coaches, space holders, and healers to claim their wholeness, leadership and deep confidence with ease and flow.
Tune in as Sammie and I give you a peek into our time together, including insights on the crossroads between ambition and intuition, accessing your true desires, and holding space in both your client work and everyday life.
You can find Sammie at
https://sammiefleming.com/
https://www.instagram.com/sammiesonjafleming/
If you are ready to deepen your coaching presence and advance your coaching mastery, you are invited to consider the Self-belief Coaching Academy. This evidence-based, trauma-informed, ICF-accredited programme is specifically designed for practitioners whose clients are impacted by self-doubt.
QUOTES FROM SAMMIE
“It's a skillset to be able to be deep in the unknown and hold it without forcing any direction. To navigate your client and really, truly hold them.”
“I’m quite disinterested in holding my clients accountable and nowadays. I'm so much more interested in cultivating a fire so strong that they are going to do the thing anyway.”
“There's no such thing as the ‘good client’. You don't have to perform for me. You don't have to achieve for me. I'm just going to sit and bask in all of you.”
“Abundance comes in many, many, many forms. Including the ability to pot around and drink your coffee slowly. Or be on stage in front of 10,000 people. Or spend an entire month reading all the books you wanted to read all year. Not one of these is more important or valuable than the other.”
In this episode, we are addressing a topic that comes up all the time during Supervision sessions and in training coaches in the Self-belief Coaching Academy: how to go 'deeper' with coaching clients.
While the specifics for each of your individual clients will obviously vary, I wanted to spend some time looking at the generalised contexts that tend to be present. And also to know that this is a really, really common question for coaches to ask!
I'm sharing three approaches designed to help you access a deeper space with clients.
I also share why a desire for new approaches is a great sign that you are evolving as a coach. Let's get into it!
If you are ready to deepen your coaching presence and advance your coaching mastery, you are invited to consider the Self-belief Coaching Academy. This evidence-based, trauma-informed, ICF-accredited programme is specifically designed for practitioners whose clients are impacted by self-doubt.
Quotes
"As coaches, we can get wedded to our client's goals and we end up coaching around the goal and not the person. We can easily take it as a personal failure if the client doesn’t get to where they want to go. But what if the goal isn’t helpful for the client’s growth? What if the goal changes? What if the client achieves the goal but feels flat and disappointed? When we focus on goals, we can end up solving the wrong problem'."
“The reasons that we have protective, resistant behaviours is no accident. They’ve served important purposes. But at some point, we need support to try new ways of doing things, of getting our needs met.”
“After the first 100 hours or so of client work, you may have taken your foundational coaching skills as far as you can. You are likely to be feeling curious and ready for more.”
Our coach training equips us with incredibly helpful tools, concepts and approaches, and client work provides the real-world experience of supporting actual humans, most professional coaches find that there is still something missing. And no I don't mean a business coach!
We need a different third thing - a learning space that helps us to make sense of everything.
Where we can reflect on our relationship with very specific, three-dimensional, paying clients (not theoretical avatars or other trainee coaches).
- Where we can feel supported and frankly, less lonely in this work (it's super tricky when we work from the kitchen table or the spare room!)
- And we usually need other resources and choices for supporting clients more effectively (because none of us know what we don't know).
As the coaching industry matures, being in Supervision is now recognised as the standard for coaching excellence. And having been in Supervision for a decade, I honestly don't know how any coach does this work without it.
I'm delighted to welcome Kris Shepard back to the podcast to chat more about Supervision - Kris is a Life Coach and Supervisor who helps coaches show up authentically with their clients and masterfully hone their unique coaching style.
In this episode, we talk through the ins and outs of coaching supervision, and why it should be the first point of call for coaches who are figuring out this beautiful, helpful work.
You can find out more about Kris at
https://www.instagram.com/becometheauthorofyourlife/
https://directory.iccs.co/united-kingdom/london/supervisor/kristina-sheppard
If you’re interested in coaching supervision with me, a Growth Edge Supervision Circle will be beginning in May. You can click here to find out more and join the waitlist: https://selfbelief.school/supervision/
Urgh criticism is The Worst, isn't it? Just the thought of it makes most of us clench up. So let's have a peek at what's actually going on.
In this episode, we'll explore why we are so afraid of criticism, where that 'urgh' reaction comes from, and what we can do to get more comfortable with what other people think.
For this week’s free resource, you can download my recent workshop What will people think?!, which dives even further into how to lovingly detach from other people’s opinions: https://selfbelief.school/podcasts/episode-133/
Have a question about self-doubt that you want me to answer? You can submit a question for the podcast right here: https://selfbelief.school/podcast/#question
QUOTES
“Self-doubt isn't particularly logical or rational. Most of the time we can see that this is not a very healthy belief for me to hold, but somehow, can't go through with an alternative.”
“Anyone's opinion of you is first filtered through their own perspective. We have to be discerning about whose criticism is worth listening to”
"Every quality is neutral. There is no inherent best or right way; it's all in the context and the nuance between the two poles."
This week my guest Sophie Howarth and I are diving into what it really means to create your own pace in a culture that prioritises faster and more.
Sophie is an artist, writer and teacher, whose work is about deepening connection to ourselves, one another and the wider web of life.
We talk thorough ways to tune into your surroundings and get comfortable with going slow, and how Sophie includes and promotes this practice in her own work.
Tune in to see just how much you can discover on a pilgrimage within the fabric of your own life!
About Sophie
Across an eclectic career spanning the arts, activism, social enterprise and government, Sophie has been committed to developing more imaginative responses to our most urgent concerns.
Best known as the Co-Founder and first Director of The School of Life, Sophie has also been Curator of Public Programmes at Tate Modern, Faculty Lead at Year Here, Head of Education and Research at iniva, and a Special Advisor on Social Action in the Number 10 Policy Unit.
She is also the author of several books including The Mindful Photographer, Street Photography Now and Family Photography Now.
You can find out more about Sophie here:
https://www.sophiehowarth.com/
https://poetrypharmacy.co.uk/the-distillery/online/
Interested in Self-belief School? Here’s all the info: https://selfbelief.school/enrol/
References
“Ode” by Zoe Higgins (poem)
“I thank you god for this most amazing day”, E E Cummings (poem)
If Women Rose Rooted, Sharon Blackie (book)
Quotes
“Tuning ourselves into noticing brings so much depth, but it can't be done in a hurry. You just can't do it if you're busy getting from A to B in a race.”
“Sometimes making peace with all the things undone, all the people that we failed to get back to, all the ambitions that we're not pursuing, allows for this really loving space of just being with what is.”
“With that privacy attention, these things that happen without an audience, that aren't shared, that aren't for anyone else except our ourselves and our beloveds. These are the really precious resources that we have.”
A huge 2023 welcome back to Courage and Spice! I took some time to reset over the Christmas holiday, a much needed step back that made me realise just want it means to fully commit to rest and rejuvenation instead of just stopping work.
As I make plans for the new year, I’m realising that there’s no reason for the spaciousness that I felt to disappear. Which is why I’m focusing this episode on how to stay in a gear that honours your energy and creativity.
I’m also making some changes to how our episodes are going to be released, which means that every solo episode will come with a free resource to help you put everything we talked about to action!
Click here for this week’s Guide to Uncovering Courage Based Goals: https://selfbelief.school/courage-spice-resources/
Signups for Self-belief School are now open! Click here for more info: https://selfbelief.school/enrol
QUOTES
“There's so much emphasis on growing and getting bigger and more audiences, and my fire has just gone out for that kind of stuff. I'm already connected to the most amazing folks”
“When you just let your mind wander with no fixed destination or idea for what should happen, it's going to give you a breadcrumb trail that's worth following.”
“A goal is just a temporary state: we are learning some stuff about ourselves, trying to achieve something or part of something. And at the end of that, we can go :what really worked? What do I want to do more of? What's the next 30 day goal?”
For my last episode of 2022, I’m talking about the number one action that I’ve taken to grow my business. Now stay with me, because I know this can come with a lot of feelings… that action is asking for feedback!
We tend to avoid feedback because many of us equate it with criticism. The secret is that the benefits of getting that feedback far outweigh the fear around it. This means building the courage to ask is one of the best things you can do for your work, business and personal growth.
So what’s this episode really about?
I’m breaking down how feedback can really benefit you in order to challenge the fears around it and be able to use it as a strength! There are a few different angles to this:
- Feedback is the intel that will make ‘that thing’ that you’re trying to do the most impactful it can be, because it’ll speak specifically to those you’re trying to help.
- Conflicting feedback can strengthen your self-trust, as different perspectives put you in touch with your own.
- If you’re a perfectionist, practicing asking for feedback can take the pressure off feeling you need to be the expert on everything.
Tune in for more on how to get comfortable with the how’s, when’s and why’s of asking for feedback, and then using it to take action!
Connect with Sas Petherick:
Website: https://selfbelief.school/class/
And if you heard my introduction and are interested in coaching supervision, you can sign up for Growth Edge Circle here: https://selfbelief.school/supervision
You can quote me on that…
“Asking for feedback before you've made your thing, or completed it, is a great way of adding in your client's voice to whatever it is that you are creating on their behalf.”
“If you ask a range of different people for feedback, you're probably going to get different perspectives, and sometimes they will be in conflict with each other. It’s a really great opportunity to just sink into your own discernment.”
“My protective self-doubt is always telling me to wait until everything is right, to be afraid of risking criticism and rejection. And then I sit with the question, what else could be true? And I find that there's almost never a really good reason to wait.”
Like what you hear?
Why not help me reach more ears (and give my self-belief a boost) with a 5-star rating?
Sign up for SBCA 2023 here: https://selfbelief.school/sbca
Today, we are visiting our guest, Agnes Becker’s world.
This is the world of we are stardust - a place where art and science collide to enrich your experience of and relationship with our messy, beautiful universe.
So what’s this episode really about?
Agnes creates artwork that inspires connection with the more-than-human world and online adventures that encourage you to rewild your soul.
We talk about wonder, and hidden worlds, and finding both by slowing down and really looking. Agnes' invitation is to engage our senses and notice - and we'll be rewarded with the gift of opening our perception of ourselves and the way we experience the world.
There is so much wonder in Agnes’ work. If you feel like you’re rushing around but you’re aware that something else is going on beyond that, in nature and in some deeper part of you, our conversation will help you find your way to your wild and beautiful soul.
We discuss the attention economy, that first spring of COVID-19, how to let go of urgency and the grief that can come up when we reconnect with the natural world. She talks about how she navigated her way to a place where she weaves art and science together, and how We are Stardust is her place to belong in the world.
If you’d like to connect to the more-than-human world, Agnes offers a portal.
LINKS
Rewild Your Soul Workshop / Autumn Leaf Painting Workshop
Braiding Sweetgrass - Robin Wall Kimmerer
Sophie Strand
Alan Watts quote / Ram Dass quote / Finding meteorite impacts in Aboriginal oral tradition
Connect with Agnes Becker:
Website: https://wearestardust.uk/
Instagram: @wearestardustuk
You can quote me on that…
“We are creatures not computers.” - Sas Petherick
“That tiny moment, to look at that one leaf, it can change the perception of yourself, and change the way you’re thinking about the world and your life.” - Agnes Becker
“What I love is the learning. Not just through the science but through the experience and observation and attention that art invites you to cultivate.” - Agnes Becker
Like what you hear?
Why not help me reach more ears (and give my self-belief a boost) with a 5-star rating?
Sign up for SBCA 2023 here:
https://selfbelief.school/sbca
Sign up for SBCA 2023 here:
https://selfbelief.school/sbca
If you notice there are stories you are telling yourself like “If my partner was different, I would feel loved” or “If my boss was a whole other human being, I would enjoy my work so much more” then this episode is for you!
I'm sharing how to become aware of the expectations we carry around and the steps to take to make the shift from expectations to unconditional love. This process has dramatically transformed every single one of my relationships.
What if no one needs to change for you to feel ok? What if the people you don't like, can be your greatest teachers? What if unconditional love is entirely possible for you to access?
This episode is about relationships and the way we can show up to them from our healthy adult selves.
You can quote me on that…
“When we put our happiness in the hands of another human, we set both of us up to fail.” - Sas Petherick
“Other people do and say things and we interpret what they do and say. That interpretation creates some kind of meaning that feeds into our beliefs. It’s what we believe that creates our feelings.” - Sas Petherick
“When we’re willing to take responsibility for how we’re interpreting anyone else’s actions when we’re willing to take responsibility for what we believe, we crack a new level of adulthood.” - Sas Petherick
Like what you hear?
Why not help me reach more ears (and give my self-belief a boost)
Sign up for SBCA 2023 here:
https://selfbelief.school/sbca
Sign up for SBCA 2023 here:
https://selfbelief.school/sbca
I’m really excited to chat with you today about a concept that has been brewing for me over the last few months - that every single story we tell about ourselves, has three different narratives.
In this episode I discuss these three layers as I see them, and explain how going into the third layer is where we get to really understand something new about who we are.
It's no accident that this is coming up for me right now, as I am currently in an in-depth training programme to certify as a Coaching Supervisor. In supervision what we’re trying to do is look at a bigger (super) perspective (vision) of our work as coaches. It's a big old soup of (sometimes uncomfortable) reflection!
So do listen in:
If you’re trying to figure out what’s happening for you in an area of your life that feels unsatisfying or confusing.
If you’re a coach that’s curious about supervision practice, you might enjoy hearing more about my experience of it.
And if you’re a human experiencing self-doubt, this approach to storytelling and meaning-making is likely to support you!
LINKS
Website: https://selfbelief.school/class/
Insta: @saspetherick
You can quote me on that…
“When we get into a reflective practice of some sort, we get to unearth an expanded narrative.” - Sas Petherick
“Asking ‘what else could be true?’ brings in complexity, and also possibility. If we allow ourselves to really sit with that question we can start to see that the meaning-making we’ve drawn is specific to that story. It may not be a universal truth.” - Sas Petherick
Like what you hear?
Why not help me reach more ears (and give my self-belief a boost) with a 5-star rating?
Sign up for SBCA 2023 here:
https://selfbelief.school/sbca
Folks I’m so excited to welcome Katie Kurtz to the podcast. Katie is a licensed social worker and trained trauma specialist, certified coach, consultant and yoga teacher. Not only that, but she also facilitates a beautiful program called Cultivate, which is all about trauma-informed care, and has recently created the most beautiful card deck called Contain.
So what’s this episode really about?
This conversation is an in-depth conversation about trauma-informed care and trauma-informed coaching. Katie shares with us what trauma-informed care is, and how it came to be - growing out of the roots of trauma therapy, PTSD and the experience of survivors. Trauma is something that affects all of us.
We talk about how trauma-informed care has recently entered new and non-traditional fields, such as coaching, wellness and entrepreneurship businesses. Katie shares the importance of understanding that trauma-informed care has a significant history, and how to put this mode of care into embodied practice.
We discuss how the current lack of supervision, mentorship, peer support, coaching and regulation means that many people are practising outside their scope if they identify as trauma-informed coaching people are practising outside their scope. It's really about how we move into this new wave of trauma-informed care to make it adaptable for all professions and spaces.
We finish up with Katie explaining how she prioritises resourcing herself, and how she cares for her nervous system, as well as how her beautiful card deck was created as a way to create space for ourselves, and others.
Why you should listen
If you experience any discomfort around identifying as a trauma-informed practitioner, this conversation will help you understand its scope and how to embody the practice as ethically and holistically as possible.
LINKS
Join the pre-order waitlist for the Contain card deck
Connect with Katie Kurtz:
Website: https://katie-kurtz.com/
Instagram: @_katiekurtz
Connect with Sas Petherick:
Website: https://selfbelief.school/class/
You can quote me on that…
“I don’t think we need to remove the term trauma-informed care, we need to reclaim it. Reclaim it in a way that brings us back to shared language and understanding of what it is. And encourage people to adopt it with integrity and within their scope of practice.” Katie Kurtz
“You can’t say you’re trauma-informed, you have to be it. What I simply mean by that is, you can’t just use words and not have action behind it.” - Katie Kurtz
“It’s about how we show up with this commitment to widen our lens and be super mindful of the lived experience of both ourselves and others and apply that as much as possible to the entirety of our work.” - Katie Kurtz
“The paradox of being trauma-informed as a coach, means you know where you don’t go. You almost need to have a trauma-informed lens, so you know when you have reached the limits of that.” - Sas Petherick
Like what you hear?
Why not help me reach more ears (and give my self-belief a boost) with a 5-star rating?
Sign up for SBCA 2023 here:
https://selfbelief.school/sbca
Last year I did a big birthday thoughts episode - just jamming on what's on my mind right now. So today it's my 49th birthday and these are my big birthday thoughts.
If you’re at a crossroads or coming up to a new stage of your life, you might be curious to hear how I’m navigating this time of my life.
If you're curious about what it feels like to build a life that fits you, in all your humanness, I offer some reflections on what this has felt like for me.
Perhaps you’d like just to tune in for a chat and reflection on another human living their life, through all the messy disappointment, beauty and wonder. Bring your tea!
LINKS
Website: https://selfbelief.school/class/
You can quote me on that…
“What does it mean to build a life that allows self-doubt to be part of it, that compassionately brings it along?” Sas Petherick.
“There is no distance to go, it’s about presence.” Sas Petherick
“I am both an over-functioner and I am very ordinary. I have an idea of a quite big, bright, colourful life, and in relative terms, it’s quite small, it’s quite ordinary. All of that is true.” Sas Petherick
Like what you hear?
Why not help me reach more ears (and give my self-belief a boost) with a 5-star rating?
I’m really excited to bring you this episode today, especially for all the coaches in the house as I share an incredible conversation I had recently with a few members of my business mastermind group.
In this round table conversation, I’m joined by Ellie Swift, Taryn Bolt, Sofia Bernardi and Nivek Harrison as we talk about all the aspects of running a coaching business - the good, the bad and everything in between.
This was such a generous conversation and I know you’re going to get so many takeaways as we talk about what we would do if we were starting out in business again.
These incredible women have taught me so much about what it means to be in community, and being surrounded by their support, encouragement and wisdom has been next level awesome.
If you’re in that first phase of making lots of decisions in your business and perhaps feeling a bit lonely, this conversation will be a breath of fresh air for you.
LINKS
Website:https://selfbelief.school/class/
Like what you hear?
Why not help me reach more ears (and give my self-belief a boost) with a 5-star rating?
This week’s episode is essential for all business owners. It can often feel very lonely when running your own business and it's difficult to find other people who can truly relate to your journey.
My guest today is Mel Wiggins. After a decade of working in nonprofit management and activism roles, Mel decided to pivot her career to work with women who want to be more courageous in their lives and work. She built a strong and thriving community serving hundreds of women from her home in Northern Ireland and is absolutely passionate about helping women succeed. Mel runs leadership programs, strategy days and retreats for women business owners.
This episode is perfect for you if you’re searching for a community or are feeling like something is missing in your support network. We discuss the limited spaces for women business owners that welcome our vulnerability, the challenges involved with commodifying everything about ourselves, and how integral a strong community of like-minded people is to hold you up during the hard times, cheer you on during the good times and motivate you to never give up.
Links:
Mel's Website
Mel's Instagram
Resources mentioned:
Soul of Money Website
The Sophia Century - Lynne Twist: www.youtube.com/watch?v=iz18RQ7UR3w
You can quote me on that…
“The trick of patriarchy is dangling success for women” - Mel Wiggings
“When you cultivate trust in those spaces, people will show up for you” - Mel Wiggings
“A really healthy community is where everyone gets to show up as they are and the boundaries are clear” - Sas Petherick
Like what you hear?
Why not help me reach more ears (and give my self-belief a boost) with a 5-star rating?
There is NOTHING quite like the buzz of teaching a course you've created and the magic that happens as the group goes on a learning adventure together. Plus: the creative, financial and emotional rewards for you - so fun!
However, the sobering reality is that the completion rates for adult online learning experiences are really shocking - less than 15% of us finish any kind of online experience.
In this episode, I take you through the five key reasons why online learning experiences don’t deliver. I also give you ten reflections that you can take away to consider for how to create a really brilliant course that your people say an immediate yes to, love and complete.
This episode will support you to bring your online course dreams to life. The world needs your expertise, your brilliance and your thoughtful, intentional programs. I promise you, this is going to help you create a brilliant course.
Why you should listen
This is especially for those of you who create online learning experiences for your people. You might be a coach, teacher or program instructor and you’re looking to create an online course that people love, complete and that gets rave reviews. A course that people say an immediate yes to. Or perhaps you’re already running a course and you want to put an injection of OOMPF! into it.
And of course - if self-doubt is holding you back from creating the programme you've always wanted to bring to life - this episode is for you.
Links:Self-belief School
Resources mentioned:How to be a brilliant course creator (PDF)Like what you hear?
Why not help me reach more ears (and give my self-belief a boost) with a 5-star rating?
I’m delighted to introduce Angela McMillan. She is the founder of Elemental Health and is an accredited counsellor and coach who works primarily with young people who experience anxiety. Angela has made it her mission to help anxious young people and the adults in their lives develop tools and strategies to help them recover from anxiety and thrive.
So what’s this episode really about?
Being a teenager is always tricky but right now there are so many additional layers of complexity right now - recovery from the pandemic, the climate emergency, choices around identity...
In this conversation, we explore the ways we, as adults, can recognise anxiety in teenagers, including physical, emotional and behavioural symptoms. Angela shares how her own journey with an anxiety disorder has helped her find a truly holistic approach to both living with and recovering from anxiety.
We also discuss the importance of resourcing ourselves, and how we can offer those resources to the teenagers in our lives.
Self-doubt and self-blaming can get in the way of connecting with your teenager. Angela talks us through how to ensure that the work you do with your teenager is focused on them (not you) and the importance of working as a team to navigate tricky emotions.
Why you should listen
If you are a parent and your teen is having a tough time coping with life right now, this conversation will be really helpful.
Perhaps you’re using tools to help your teenager already, but you get the sense there are more effective ways you can connect and work with your teenager.
Or perhaps you have a teenager in your life that’s going through a rough time, but you don’t know how to approach them.
LINKS
The author mentioned: James Hillman
Angela McMillan Elemental Health: https://www.ehe.org.uk/
Angela McMillan Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elementalhealth_uk/
Website: https://selfbelief.school/class/
You can quote me on that…
“Every time we take care of ourselves, we are able to travel back in time and offer some compassion and love and care for our younger selves.” Sas Petherick
“If anything is happening that is out of the ordinary, then that’s a really good opportunity to have a conversation about that.” Angela McMillan
“One of the things that can happen is - we want to mind read. We notice our teenager is withdrawn or behaving in a way that isn’t recognisable to us and we try to think of all the possible reasons as to why that might be. We might blame ourselves, our family, the friendships that our child is in, and sometimes we forget that the only way we’re going to find that out, is to sit down, connect and find out what is happening.” Angela McMillan
“You can say - I can see this is hard, you’re not alone. That changes people’s psychology to know that.” Sas Petherick
Like what you hear?
Why not help me reach more ears (and give my self-belief a boost) with a 5-star rating?
In today’s episode, we are talking about Future Fantasies.
This is one of the most innocuous patterns of protection - one day I'll have this / do this / be this.
It’s SO seductive! So let’s talk about how future fantasies work, the ways self-doubt is involved and how to unhook yourself from this pattern.
If you tend to get stuck in thinking “when I have that job I’ll be able to…” or “when I lose weight I can…”, then this episode is absolutely for you.
If you’re waiting for ANY outside circumstances to change so that you’ll feel magically ready - this one is for you!
This episode will help you recognise any future fantasies you may have, and unhook yourself from them.
Links
Self-belief School enrollment is open for a few more days! Jump in before the 23rd of September!
Watch the Self-belief Matrix Workshop replay
You can quote me on that…“I want you to be in the reality of you right now. She is so capable, she has everything she needs. It’s so easy to believe in her and you. Decide to believe that you can figure this out.” - Sas Petherick
“You can’t wait long enough, to feel safe enough, to make this fantasy a reality.” - Sas Petherick
“I think goals are amazing, but it’s never about ticking it off, it’s never about getting to the point of success. It’s about who you become along the way. Goals, for me, are just the vehicle for your growth and expansion.” - Sas Petherick
“Setbacks, challenges and frustrations just mean you’re doing something. This is where the growth happens” - Sas Petherick
Like what you hear?Why not help me reach more ears (and give my self-belief a boost) with a 5-star rating?
If you’ve ever worked with a coach in the past or you’re thinking about doing so, this episode will help you understand the difference between a “nice” conversation and coaching that is truly transformational.
Maybe you’ve got a stack of self-help books, you follow a lot of coaches and therapists online but you’re feeling frustrated that you still haven’t been able to make the changes that you want. If you can relate, this episode will give you some deeper insight into the brave and liberating work we do inside Self-belief School.
There is a massive difference between information and transformation and I want to speak to this in the context of the conversations I’ve been having recently.
So what’s this episode really about?
I share the three key relationships that we actively develop in the Self-belief School and why this process leads to transformation:
- We explore the idea of Self-doubt as The Protector.
- We understand and heal the relationship you have with the root causes of self-doubt.
- And we focus on building a relationship with ourselves that’s rooted in compassion. When you have a healthy adult self, you feel resourced to do all the adulting!
Links:Self-belief School Enrolment
You can quote me on that…
“We don't tend to grow or change or expand our self-concept because of information... It’s actually the application of that information that leads to transformation.” - Sas Petherick
“To me, there’s no question that you’re doing something wrong. You’re not doing anything wrong, you’re doing something that creates safety.” - Sas Petherick
“The healthy adult self is the part of us that has access to key resources: self-belief, self-acceptance, self-worth and self-trust. All of these resources are able to be developed.” - Sas Petherick
Like what you hear?
Why not help me reach more ears (and give my self-belief a boost) with a 5-star rating?
It's September: back-to-school season. For me, lifelong learning is one of the great joys of being an adult - because we get to choose our experiences!
But taking the time to reflect before you dive into a new learning experience is important.
In this episode, I have nine questions to help you decide how and why to take the leap. These are questions to ask both of yourself, and also of the course. They will help you think about why you might be interested in a course, get clear on your intentions, and will set you up for success.
Know that I am always rooting for you, so do get in touch if you have questions.
So what’s this episode really about?
This episode is for anyone interested in lifelong learning. You may have a course in mind, or perhaps you have just been thinking about learning something new. You might be feeling super excited about a new learning adventure, but perhaps you’re not sure you can last the distance. Or perhaps you’re feeling unsure about the delivery style and how you’ll show up for the group learning components.
This will help you get clear on why you want to learn and how to get the most out of the experience.
Links:
Website: https://selfbelief.school/enrol
You can quote me on that…
“To be committed means you stay with it, to be willing to suck at something new. Commitment is one of the most powerful emotions we can have. Things like resilience, courage, and capability are all built on the foundation of commitment.” - Sas Petherick
“Everything, in my opinion, is worth celebrating.” - Sas Petherick
“Lifelong learning is one of the great joys of being an adult.” - Sas Petherick
Like what you hear?
Why not help me reach more ears (and give my self-belief a boost) with a 5-star rating?
Self-Belief School is the program I’ve been dreaming about creating for a really long time. It’s the culmination of 10 years of work and it is finally ready!
I have a deep and abiding passion for our experiences and for the last decade I’ve been obsessed with why we hold ourselves back and get in our own way.
I’ve read pretty much every evidence-based study based on self-doubt. And while sometimes it feels like a strange thing to own, there is no doubt I am an expert on self-doubt.
What I realised when I started out on this journey of discovery around self-doubt is that it is far from an individual experience. It is both caused by and sustained by systemic barriers. There is an individual experience of self-doubt and a collective movement that’s required to work through it and change how we respond to it.
And this school - The Self Belief School - is everything you need to know to take you from self-doubt to self-belief.
This is an evidence-based, practical, implementable, trauma-informed, proven approach supporting you to make conscious choices and create a life that fits you.
It’s so fun to think about the impact this is going to have - this program feels so freaking juicy to me.
Why you should listen:
If you’re sick of feeling like you’re never quite lovable and capable enough so you hold yourself back from sharing your ideas, your work or your heart. If you have a constant hum of self-doubt in the background and you are sure there’s another way of living in the world, this is a must-listen. If you’re curious about coaching or you want to take your coaching experience to the next level. If you’d like to explore topics like your goals and dreams, your relationship with money or your body image through the lens of self-belief. If you want to find a different way of being in the world and creating a life that fits you.
Links:Self-belief School Website You can quote me on that…“We’ve kind of convinced ourselves that there’s a magic pill, that one day we’re going to wake up and feel differently. What I want you to know is that that is highly unlikely. But when you very intentionally decide ‘I’m going to work with self-doubt….I’m going to start freaking liking myself’ - the impact on your life does feel like magic.” - Sas Petherick
“When you get connected to who you are, under your self-doubt, life’s richer, it’s more meaningful, more fulfilling and this is available to you.” - Sas Petherick
“This is an opportunity to try on a part of you that wants to belong, that wants to feel connected” - Sas Petherick
Like what you hear?Why not help me reach more ears (and give my self-belief a boost) with a 5-star rating?
Self-Belief School is the program I’ve been dreaming about creating for a really long time. It’s the culmination of 10 years of work and it is finally ready!
I have a deep and abiding passion for our experiences and for the last decade I’ve been obsessed with why we hold ourselves back and get in our own way.
I’ve read pretty much every evidence-based study based on self-doubt. And while sometimes it feels like a strange thing to own, there is no doubt I am an expert on self-doubt.
What I realised when I started out on this journey of discovery around self-doubt is that it is far from an individual experience. It is both caused by and sustained by systemic barriers. There is an individual experience of self-doubt and a collective movement that’s required to work through it and change how we respond to it.
And this school - The Self Belief School - is everything you need to know to take you from self-doubt to self-belief.
This is an evidence-based, practical, implementable, trauma-informed, proven approach supporting you to make conscious choices and create a life that fits you.
It’s so fun to think about the impact this is going to have - this program feels so freaking juicy to me.
Why you should listen:
If you’re sick of feeling like you’re never quite lovable and capable enough so you hold yourself back from sharing your ideas, your work or your heart. If you have a constant hum of self-doubt in the background and you are sure there’s another way of living in the world, this is a must-listen. If you’re curious about coaching or you want to take your coaching experience to the next level. If you’d like to explore topics like your goals and dreams, your relationship with money or your body image through the lens of self-belief. If you want to find a different way of being in the world and creating a life that fits you.
Links:Self-belief School Website You can quote me on that…“We’ve kind of convinced ourselves that there’s a magic pill, that one day we’re going to wake up and feel differently. What I want you to know is that that is highly unlikely. But when you very intentionally decide ‘I’m going to work with self-doubt….I’m going to start freaking liking myself’ - the impact on your life does feel like magic.” - Sas Petherick
“When you get connected to who you are, under your self-doubt, life’s richer, it’s more meaningful, more fulfilling and this is available to you.” - Sas Petherick
“This is an opportunity to try on a part of you that wants to belong, that wants to feel connected” - Sas Petherick
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This is my last episode before a summer break with my lady friends so I thought it would be great for this episode to check in on my word of the year: Disappointment. I chose to play with disappointment in 2022 because I recognised it to be the psychological risk I’m most sensitive to. My self doubt is always trying to protect me from being disappointed but as we know, that’s just an illusion of safety. I wanted to be able to sit with disappointment, explore it a bit and get rid of the obligation to just get over it. It’s been a wonderful journey!
So what’s this episode really about?
- Understanding the root causes of my tendency towards disappointment and the impact that my upbringing had on this.
- What I’ve learned about my own disappointment and how a lot of the circumstances are seemingly petty.
- The mainstream advice about handling disappointment and why this doesn’t sit right with me.
- How I’ve been practicing sitting in my disappointment and being curious about what I’m actually feeling.
- The revelation of the complexity of emotions I’ve experienced underneath my disappointment.
- Disappointment needs somewhere to go. As adults, we can do this through journaling, talking to a friend, emotional release etc.
- How quickly disappointment can invite us to warp the meaning of any event that causes it.
- The difference between clean and dirty pain and how disappointment plays into this.
- How being more open to disappointment and sitting with it has led to more fun and joy.
Why you should listen
If disappointment is something you’re susceptible to, I hear you friend and this episode is perfect for you. I talk through my own learnings from the year so far as I’ve been open to experiencing disappointment, not just trying to make it go away. We’ll talk through the complexity of emotions underneath disappointment, learning how to sit with it and how doing this can actually help you experience more fun and joy.
LINKS
Website: https://selfbelief.school/class/
You can quote me on that…
“I don’t want to anticipate disappointment before something’s even happened.” - Sas Petherick
“Disappointment, unlike a lot of other emotional states, is not a clean and tidy emotion.” - Sas Petherick
“Disappointment sometimes needs somewhere to go.” - Sas Petherick
“I’m just less bothered by being disappointed than I was in January. And as a consequence of that, I’m just having a lot more fun.” - Sas Petherick
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Previous episode mentioned:
Word of the year (but make it disco)
Today's episode is in response to two listener letters on issues that affect so many of us, mothering and friendship. I have guest Lisa Mabberley on the show today to share her expertise as a self-belief coach who works with people impacted by issues surrounding motherhood.
Thank you to Angela and Jen for trusting us with their stories.
So what’s this episode really about?
- Lisa shares the concept of Matrescence - the ongoing process of changing and transforming as a human being into a mother.
- Angela, the first writer, went through the greatest part of matrescence during lockdown when everyone was in a bubble. For many new mothers, it hasn’t felt how we thought it was going to feel and we talk about how Jen might support herself to rebuild friendships that support her in this stage of her life.
- Jen’s letter encompasses feeling some relief at deciding to not have children and how this is impacting her friendships. We talk about the fixed narratives surrounding what a legitimate mother has to look like and how Jen has allowed herself to experience freedom and joy through being open and fluid in all aspects of her life.
Why you should listenThis episode is perfect for you if you’re experiencing or have ever experienced friendships changing as a result of becoming a mother or deciding not to have children. We’ll discuss the false narratives surrounding these issues and how people can become boxed in and develop unrealistic expectations of others and ourselves that impact friendship.
Links:Coach with Lisa at Self-belief Coach Match
Lisa's Website
Lisa on Instagram
Resources mentioned:Ted Talk: Alexandra Sacks; reproductive psychiatrist
You can quote me on that…“When you have gone through an enormous change during that time of global change, that need for getting back to normal is even stronger.” - Lisa Mabberley
“When you find that it doesn’t match your expectation, you can feel quite ‘other’.” - Lisa Mabberley
“Our biggest fear is that we’ll lose the relationship by addressing the conflict but I have found the opposite to be true.” - Sas Petherick
“All friendships of any length are based on a continued, mutual forgiveness.” - David Whyte
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If there is only one idea that will help you navigate the path from self-doubt to self-belief – it’s compassion.
It can feel so normal to criticize ourselves when things go wrong and blame everything on our own shortcomings, but embracing self-compassion can be a gamechanger.
So what’s this episode really about?
- Why compassion is so important and why we resist it.
- I share the four myths and a truth about compassion to help get rid of any preconceived ideas that exist and show how self-compassion empowers leaders to succeed by using empathy, creativity, emotional intelligence and cooperation.
- There is a strong body of empirical research that shows that self-compassion is enormously helpful as a skill and perspective – especially for working through major emotional struggles.
- There are big differences between self-compassion, self-pity and self-indulgence – but it’s easy to get these mixed up!
- How I work with clients to make space for compassion in the way they talk to themselves.
- I share an exercise, from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, which you can implement today. This will help you to understand your responses to situations and nudge yourself towards self-compassion.
Why you should listen
This episode is perfect for you if you’re struggling with self-doubt and you feel like if you don’t keep judging and criticising yourself, you’ll lose your ‘edge’.
Resources mentioned:
- Book: Fierce Self-Compassion, How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive by Dr Kristin Neff
You can quote me on that...“Self-compassion just means that when times are tough, you treat yourself like you would treat a very close beloved friend.” - Sas Petherick
“If you can offer compassion to others, you can absolutely learn to offer it to yourself” - Sas Petherick
“When we’re looking at what we believe and why, we can end up with a nice logical story that sounds good on paper - but it doesn’t touch us emotionally.” - Sas Petherick
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Penny Wincer is an author, freelance writer, and book coach based in London. She writes about unpaid caring, raising a neurodiverse family, working life, and approaching life’s challenges with curiosity.
Her book, “Tender: The imperfect art of caring” is just brilliant. I’m delighted to have Penny as a guest on Courage + Spice today as we explore her experiences caring for her son and mother, her book, and the thread of compassion that runs through it all.
So what’s this episode really about?
- Penny shares the inspiration behind writing Tender: The imperfect art of caring. The reality of caring is just like life - sometimes it’s wonderful, sometimes terrible and often, it’s very ordinary.
- The cultural notion of who carers should be and that they require extraordinary levels of goodness. It’s a normal part of life to care for people with disability.
- Why perfectionism is so apparent for many parents and carers and how Penny learned to have self-compassion during intense pressure when her son was young.
- Learning to live with grief and difficult emotions and how we can feel these things, accept and let go of the fantasy of the perfect child.
- We talk about the privilege many carers feel to care for someone and the paradox of emotions that arise in the midst of their loving act of caring.
- Penny shares about caring for her mother who was mentally unwell when she was a teenager and how becoming hyper-independent at a young age impacted her.
- Our reliance as a society on unpaid care is unsustainable and it systematically needs to change.
Why you should listen:If you are a parent, a carer, or know somebody who is, this episode is a must-listen. Penny’s incredible wisdom and insights into life as a carer will add so much value to your life. Our conversation centres around the need for self-compassion, which is something I think we could all use a little more of in our lives.
LinksPenny'sWebsite
Penny's Instagram
'Not Too Busy To Write' Podcast
You can quote me on that…“Living with feelings of grief is about accepting that they do pop up occasionally.” - Penny Wincer
“All we can do is approach our situations with compassion and understand that they’re not going to be tidy.” - Penny Wincer
“Disappointment, I think, is one of the most untalked about difficult emotions.” - Sas Petherick
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In this week's solo episode, I wanted to share something that feels particularly alive to me right now: female friendships.
I have just returned from a weekend ‘self-love’ retreat hosted by past podcast guest Karen Johnston (you can check out my interview with the marvellous Karen in episode 94) and my three beloved friends, Pippa, Philippa and Helen.
And because of them, and me and the way Karen held the space and the alignment of planets, something was healed in me in real-time about a deep source of self-doubt: female friendships – and particularly groups of women.
So what’s this episode really about?
- I share a bit about my past experiences with female friendships, the experiences of my teenage self and how it has shaped my self-doubt around groups of female friends.
- I talk about how I have now been able to move into a place of safety with the female friendships in the hope that it can help some of us who may have a similar story.
- How training to be a coach fundamentally changed the story for me; to a place of truly liking all parts of myself.
- I explain how the sisterhood wound can present and how you can experiment with healing these stories.
Why you should listen:
Many of us have had really heartbreaking experiences with other women: friendships that have ended with no closure – or the energy just goes out of it. We get ghosted. Someone decides they were completely wrong about us and actually we have all these character defects and that’s it – it's over!
If this sounds familiar, there is absolutely hope for finding our people and resting in friendships that uplift us, support us and keep us grounded.
Links:
Karen Johnston Retreats
Message me on Instagram
You can quote me on that
“Life is fucking complicated and hard and confusing especially now with the increased facial hair and the night sweats. We need our women friends like oxygen.” - Sas Petherick
“Find the women that feel safe to you. The ones that would hide a body for you. The ones where you love who you are when you are around them.” - Sas Petherick
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So many of us spend years as an employee, hankering to turn our passions into a business. But what happens when your longings are to give up the self-employed life and join an organisation? In this week's episode, I have the pleasure of talking to Zoe Berkeley: baker turned palliative care nurse. I met Zoe ages ago in her bakery in North London and over the last 10 years, I have watched Zoe make significant changes to her career. It’s been a total joy to watch from the sidelines!
So what’s this episode really about?
- We talk about the highs and lows that came with being a 24-year-old business owner.
- How Zoe came to realise that she was ready for a new career after 10 successful years in business.
- How others were very surprised and not necessarily supportive of her decision to switch to nursing after having such a successful business.
- Zoe shares the story of her nursing training and how much maths was involved, tricky when you are not a ‘maths’ person!
- What it was like to go back to studying as a mature student at 34.
- Zoe’s life on the inside of the NHS during the pandemic.
Why you should listen:
For many of us during the last few years, our relationship with work has been interrupted and the ways we work irrevocably changed. You might be rethinking and reimagining what it is you want to be doing.
Zoe's story is such a relatable one and she tells it with her enormous heart and practical can-do approach. From baker to nurse can sound like a leap, but as Zoe shares, she had surprisingly transferable skills.
You are not too old and it’s never too late to have the courage to change careers!
Links:
Follow Zoe on Instagram
Zoe's blog
You can quote me on that
“Timing is everything and you’ve just got to trust the process.” - Zoe Berkeley
“If you want to make something work, you can find a way with your own dedication and passion.” - Zoe Berkeley
“You need self-belief but you also need a plan.” - Sas Petherick
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In this week's solo episode, we explore how Self-doubt shows up as an 'unreliable narrator'.
This means it will offer us a lot of stories and ideas that are not based on evidence and fact. When we don't question these stories, we end up making decisions from a place of trying to avoid discomfort.
Long time podcast listeners will know that I characterise Self-doubt as our inbuilt protection mechanism, its entire purpose is to prevent us from getting hurt. This means Self-doubt is like a smoke detector looking for any risk of things like judgement or criticism or failure (for example).
If you recognise yourself telling these stories, I’d love you to reach out on Instagram - let’s go!
So what’s this episode really about?
- I break down the three key ways Self-Doubt gives us unreliable information and I show you how you can spot each one.
- I share a simple 3-step process that will help you get to the more reliable information that is underneath your Self-doubt.
Why you should listen:
If you are as fascinated as me by the sophisticated nature of Self-doubt, you'll enjoy this exploration of heuristics - these are helpful, mental shortcuts that are designed to help us to interpret information and make decisions quickly.
Some heuristics can be really helpful and help us to access our sense of self, our values and our healthy beliefs.
But when Self-doubt is running the show, our heuristics can become disproportionate and unhelpful - we end up interpreting information and making decisions based on avoiding the discomfort.
If you’ve been feeling Self-doubt creep into any decisions you have been making lately, this episode is a must. I give you clear doable steps to try a different way, turn this around and build some robust Self-trust.
Links:
Come find me on Instagram
You can quote me on that!
“The worst part of 'globalising' I think, is that it’s a waste of your imagination.” - Sas Petherick
“I won’t make decisions after a drink, after 10pm, or after a big emotional experience.” - Sas Petherick
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Anna Lovind is a writer, creativity teacher and mother living in rural Sweden. She is an introverted entrepreneur who helps feminist creatives & change-makers go from dreaming to doing. We have so many crossovers of creation, from creativity and self-doubt, I am absolutely delighted to have her as a guest on Courage + Spice!
So what’s this episode really about?
- I ask Anna her take on what holds us back creatively, as people who identify as women.
- We talk about our relationship with time and the seasons of our life and in our business, and what kind of relationship we want from these.
- We discuss the fear we have of sharing our work, as women and creatives and the feeling we experience when we reclaim back our power. We realise how similar our approaches are in this!
- How finding a safe space to be creative and to start small and expand, is the best place to reclaim that power.
- We talk about how we can build something within a capitalist, patriarchal, racist society, without waiting for it to change.
- Anna talks about how you can claim time to be creative as women, even when you have a very busy life - a place where we can step away from what is considered traditional work and professionalism.
- We talk about how the pandemic has made personal and professional life collide in the most unexpected ways and how your reclaimed “commute” has become the perfect time for creativity to flourish.
Why you should listen:
If you are in a place right now where you're feeling that something is missing from life and you'd like to start a new project or business, this is the episode you should listen to. Our conversation really validates those feelings as totally normal and we share the steps you can take now to move out of fear into creative power in a safe space.
Links:
Follow Anna on Instagram
All of Anna’s links including her book The Creative Doer
You can quote me on that!
“Nothing has gone wrong, you are just being human.” - Sas Petherick
“The world is not safe for un-apologetically powerful women.” - Sas Petherick
“You can claim it as soon as you're doing it.” - Anna Lovind
“We’re not meant to do this work alone.” - Anna Lovind
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Hey folks, the episode contains references to drug use so please be mindful of where you are listening in.
In this episode, I am sharing a very personal experience. Just before the new year, I went on a solo retreat and with the support of a guide, I took psychedelic mushrooms for the first time.
Psilocybin is the psychoactive ingredient in mushrooms and this is still considered a Class A drug in the UK. But in other countries and in many indigenous and ceremonial cultures, it is used as medicine.
My beloved friend Karen King joins me for this episode. Karen is a Psychedelic-assisted psychotherapist who runs a clinic in Washington State in the US where she uses plant medicines as part of therapy treatments. I thought she would be the ideal person to share my experience with you.
In the episode we talk about:
- How we all access states of ‘non-ordinary reality’ throughout the day (driving home and not remembering how you got there, lucid dreams and inspiration in the shower are common examples).
- I share my experience – what it was like to take a psychedelic trip, physically, psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually. There is a guest appearance by Noel Fielding.
- We also talk about what happened afterwards – the reality of returning to life in human density after such a profound experience.
Links:Karen's detailsFollow Karen on Instagram
Find Karen on Facebook
King Health Associates
Research
Imperial Centre for Psychedelic Research
What does the UK think about psilocybin research?
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This week, I thought it would be super helpful for us, as practitioners, to talk through the evolution of our work: namely the 4 times self-doubt shows up for us and how we can navigate these experiences. What I’ve come to experience and I hope you have too, is that our work is never linear. This week's episode explores my own coaching life and the experiences of the hundreds of coaches I have had the pleasure of working with over the last decade. Enjoy!
So what’s this episode really about?
There are 4 key evolutions in our work, with very loose boundaries between them all:
- Fresh out of Coach School: Unlearning and Experimenting - where we start to unlearn the idea that coaching is easy! We get to experience clients in all their glorious, messy, human-ness.
- Coaching Apprenticeship: how do I do this? - Your tools are now locked in and you start to become more present with your client.
- I share the three ‘flavours’ of coaching: be it a person, a problem or a Paradigm and how it will help to deepen your practice.
- Deepening into Practice: holding the contradictions - time to get back into learning and refreshing your skills. You could write a book, do an advanced degree, or switch up your business model.
- Mastery - The idea of reaching mastery might always feel a little edgy but there are reliable signs that you are at a different stage of your practice.
Why you should listen
In this episode, I not only share my practice journey, but I also offer simple solutions to every step of that journey. Just starting out? Thinking of re-branding? This is the episode for you, as I’ll share the simple steps you need to take to do this. Feel like you're a seasoned pro at all this? I’ll share the reliable signs that suggest you are at that mastery stage in your practice and what you might do next. I am finding that as I dip into the edges of mastery what I really hunger for is expanding beyond the coaching world and seeing what piques my interest.
Links:
The ONLY chance to join SBCA is NOW! Advance your coaching practice and help your clients live their bravest lives - Join Self-Belief Coaching Academy
You can quote me on that
“Advice doesn’t work. It creates defensiveness and 'yes, but...' as well as reinforcing shame.” - Sas Petherick
“Experiment wildly with your business.” - Sas Petherick
“I really do wish there was a coaching sorting hat that just says–you coaching for business rebels, you supporting mums to reclaim their identity. You–THERAPY.” - Sas Petherick
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In this week's solo episode, I talk in-depth about Self-belief coaching and how it differs from mainstream coaching. When we first train in the fundamentals of coaching, we tend to focus a lot on thoughts, feelings and actions - what our clients think and feel and what they do as a result.
Don’t get me wrong, this is amazing! There are huge gains to be made in setting goals and achieving them, massive peace comes from questioning our thoughts.
But a sole focus on mindset and behaviour can lead us to solving the 'wrong' problems. We can end up giving our clients temporary relief without ever touching the root causes.
In this episode, I give you a whistle-stop tour of Developmental Coaching - what it means to be developmentally minded and how this can deepen and elevate our coaching - with transformative results for our clients.
So what’s this episode really about?
- I talk about the limits of my early cognitive coaching and how I started to have disillusioned feelings about the work I was doing.
- Why SBCA is SO different to mainstream ways of looking at self-doubt, coaching and our role as practitioners.
- I talk about Developmental Psychology and how this body of work that explores what it means to be human, informs coaching.
- I explain the three stages in the Self-belief developmental model, more about how we coach from a developmental approach and why this is helpful for coaches to know about it.
- I expand on this by asking what causes us to move between these stages as adults and bring up some scenarios that we can all relate to.
- I offer why I think it’s so important that coaches have a developmental outlook!
Why you should listen
I believe that being developmentally minded or having at least a curiosity about psychological development, adds another dimension to the spectrum of psychological diversity we face in our client work.
If all of this fascinates you as much as it does me and you're a coach who would like to advance your coaching skills but is on the fence about joining SBCA, this is the episode for you!
I hope this episode helps you to start to think more deeply about your coaching, your own development and your clients.
Links:
Advance your coaching practice and help your clients live their bravest lives - Join Self-Belief Coaching Academy
The Further Reaches of Adult Development - Robert Kegan
You can quote me on that
“The courage to create this sense of self–to create an internal sense of safety–is huge!” - Sas Petherick
“Having a developmentally minded approach can help us to listen in a deeper way and to be more present to the gap between our client's self-doubt and self-belief.” - Sas Petherick
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It’s my delight to welcome this week's podcast guest, my wise, brilliant friend Lianne Raymond. Lianne is a coach, mentor and educator, who re-imagines coaching as a feminine wisdom tradition. She mentors coaches and women leaders, so she is truly the perfect guest for this week: we are talking about coaching as a catalyst for accent feminine wisdom.
So what’s this episode really about?
- Lianne talks in-depth about the history of feminine wisdom and speaks about how it has been dismissed and often demonised.
- We talk about how coaching has brought back the image of the wise woman of the village and how it’s part of a women’s culture to have deep and passionate conversations.
- I ask Lianne what happens to that sacredness in the space of capitalist, patriarchal culture and how we navigate our way through that.
- The importance of the quality of the relationship between the coach and their client: I ask Lianne what has helped her get present and hold that relationship, even when the client feels anxious.
- I go into some back story of my past jobs and my childhood, how I saw the full spectrum of human behaviour and how it informs my coaching.
- Lianne also talks about her former teaching career and how it developed into the coaching practice she has today.
- We talk about the maturing of our industry and how the folks joining Self-Belief Coaching Academy are going beyond behavioural and mindset coaching.
Why you should listen:
Whether you are a seasoned coach or someone who is curious if this career is the right path for you and you would like to channel your own innate feminine wisdom, listen to two friends, coaches and fellow tuning forks who have been there and done that!
This work is an invitation to feel grounded in nature and the divine before you get on a call with a client. It's when you find a mentor who gets where you are right now and creates a safe space to reveal ourselves without fear- that’s where growth happens.
Also, if you’ve been a fan of the podcast for a while, you might also enjoy a backstory of my life around the patients of Cherry Farm and Steve the probation officer, from my first job in New Zealand. You’ve got to love a good origin story, haven’t you?!
Links:
Follow Lianne on Instagram
Learn more about the Self-Belief Coaching Academy
You can quote me on that
“To me, the feminine represents the whole.” - Lianne Raymond.
“Science is necessary but not sufficient.” - Lianne Raymond.
“It’s not what happens in the coaching relationship it’s THE coaching relationship that matters.” - Sas Petherick
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Scott Robson is my brother from another mother and my wingman, he is the head support coach of my Self Belief Coaching Academy - an entrepreneurial and marketing coach, creative and connector who supports leaders in the very human experience that is running a business. I don’t quite know what life was like without Scott and I hope I never need to find out! Scott was the first-ever person to enrol in SBCA and in this episode we take a look behind the scenes and really go into detail about what you can expect when you join the Self-Belief Coaching Academy.
So what’s this episode really about?
- Scott talks about why he is such an amazing advocate for the Self-belief Coaching Academy and what made him pay in full and believe in my work when I had just started out.
- We talk about how self-doubt shows up for us, particularly when we are about to show up, share our work with the world and promote our business.
- We discuss the difficulties we and other coaches have experienced while dealing 1:1 with clients and managing their own self-doubt.
- Scott talks about the SBCA study group that he set up within the programme, what goes on and why it matters to our coaches.
- The coach's experience of self-doubt: I ask Scott about what he is seeing with the folks in the academy, himself and the people he works with specifically.
- We talk about the importance of supervision as coaches and how we address this with our graduates.
- We share some feedback from one of our coaches currently in the academy.
- How playing with the vulnerable space of self-doubt is not just a woman’s game, there is space for everyone in SBCA.
Why you should listen:
The aim of the Self-Belief Coaching Academy is to build a world where your whole human self is allowed to thrive while running your coaching practice - even when it isn’t as polished as we would sometimes like it to be. To be a coach in the Self-Belief Coaching Academy is to really start to understand yourself in a much deeper and more profound way, in a way that you haven’t found before. Through course content informed by my graduate research into self-doubt and more than a decade of coaching with real-life humans, you’ll learn the theoretical and practical sides of powerful original strategies for bolstering self-belief. So if you are a coach that is new to this work or have been hovering for some time and wondering if this is the right programme for you, you need to listen to this episode!
Links:
Follow Scott on Instagram
Become a certified self-belief coach in the Self-Belief Coaching Academy
You can quote me on that
“Just because you experience self-doubt, it doesn’t mean anything’s gone wrong. Self-doubt is always going to be there.” - Sas Petherick
“You bring everything that has ever happened to you into your business.” - Scott Robson
“Self-doubt is the great shapeshifter. It’s always going to be there to fill the void when you don’t think you are enough.” - Scott Robson
Like what you hear?
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In this week's episode, my guest is life and business coach, author and speaker Pandora Paloma. What Pandora does so beautifully, is combine spirituality with strategy; I love how she shows up, inviting us to claim all of ourselves. I myself have been opening up more and more to dancing with the mystery of life - so I’ve been so excited to talk with her - I could literally do a whole podcast series on quantum!
So what’s this episode really about?
- I ask Pandora to expand on her reoccurring theme of magnetism: what it means to her and why it matters.
- We talk about how, as self-identifying women, we are conditioned to put ourselves last and how we lose ourselves in relationships with others.
- More and more of us are waking up to the systems and the structures that have been set up specifically to hold us down - there are so many ways that we are questioning authority. I ask Pandora what she thinks that means in terms of where we are heading as humans.
- We also discuss how the world of working has changed so much since the pandemic and we ask the question: is how I am living suiting my life as it is now?
- We talk about Pandora’s work with the quantum realm, with all it’s codes and downloads. She explains beautifully what it all means and how it gets woven into her work.
- We talk about abundance and what it really means to us both, and the sheer complexity of the subject in terms of quantum manifestation.
Why you should listen:
If you feel you are constantly on a treadmill of the next thing and the next thing and the next, this is the episode for you. Pandora eloquently explains how, by getting yourself present, you are able to enjoy who you are in the here and now - this is the key to quantum leaping in your life and business.
Links:
Follow Pandora on Instagram
Pandora’s World of Magnetism
You can quote me on that:
“Your future self is already within you, sometimes it’s about pealing away a layer to allow that version of you to come through.” - Pandora Paloma
“The masculine does good to feel good and the feminine feels good to do good.” - Pandora Paloma
“We can’t be fully magnetised if we are denying half of who we are.” - Sas Petherick
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You are in for a treat folks - in this week's episode I am joined by not one, but three wonderful coaches: Liz Keifer, Susan Sutherland and Marion Langford.
They work with leaders, midlife people and people who want to show up as their true selves. Liz, Susan and Marion are are effervescent, laugh out loud funny, and full of wisdom and experience. They are also Self-belief Coaches who graduated from the very first round of the programme. I really hope you enjoy this super fun episode.
So what’s this episode really about?
- We talk about the cultural narrative of women of a certain age giving up on themselves - the sense of running out of time, and do we still have time? (spoiler: it isn't over till it's over!).
- We talk about the advantages of having a few years under our belt as coaches.
- We talk about their previous lives (a corporate leader, not for profit strategist and an actor who has worked with George Clooney and Jeff Goldblum) compliments coaching.
- They also talk about their experiences inside the Self-Belief Coaching Academy and how this work continues to impact their coaching.
- We discuss the importance of having things to look forward to.
Why you should listen
Sit yourself down with a hot beverage of your choice for this wonderful conversation with three of the most intelligent and effervescent coaches I know. If you have reached a certain point in your life (hello middle age) and you don’t feel ready to disappear just yet, this is the episode for you!
Links:
Follow Liz on Instagram
Follow Marion on Instagram
Follow Susan on Instagram
Apply for the 2022 Self-Belief Coaching Academy
The Coaches Self-Doubt Cheatsheet
Join us for Brave Coach Week
Book Liz, Marion or Susan (and others!) in Self-Belief Coach Match
You can quote me on that
“Even the best people, the most together people are not together.” - Marion Langford
“I’m more and more at peace with myself, so I can feel more and more at peace with others” - Liz Keifer,
“Focusing on yourself, gives you more space to focus on other people.” - Susan Sutherland
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How do we as practitioners, work with our own self-doubt?
After three rounds of the Self-Belief Coaching Academy, what I know is that coaches, therapists, counsellors and mentors experience a lot of Very Understandable self-doubt. We are always learning the craft of coaching while building a business - these are bot complex tasks and most of us feel like we are constantly on our 'growth edge'.
And it doesn't matter how experienced you are - self-doubt will show up when we are taking any kind of psychological risk. If there is a chance of disappointment, judgement and failure - self-doubt will try to hold us back to protect us.
The best coaches I know - those who have built a successful-on-their-terms practice, who are in demand, who love their work years and years into it - all share a commitment to their own growth and development.
Brave Coaches Week is a framework I've developed - especially for coaches - to get you unstuck from self-doubt. If self-doubt is holding you back, over one week we will go through a process to help you take meaningful action in your practice.
So what’s this episode really about?
- What Brave Coach Week is and how you can join us.
- Why it matters so much for building a sustainable practice, that we work with our own self-doubt.
- How healing our self-doubt as practitioners, is deeply connected to our ability to hold a safe and brave space for our clients.
Why you should listen
Wherever your self-doubt shows up in your business or in your client work, it's worthy of your attention. It doesn’t mean anything has gone wrong: this is where you get to do the work of your work.
This means we can show up to our business, our clients with loving detachment - it's how we are able to have the most effective and positive impact.
This is brave and important work.
To explore your self-doubt more, join me for Brave Coaches Week!
Links:
Brave Coaches Week starts Monday 21st March.
We've just opened enrollment for Self-Belief Coaching Academy Spring 2022 class!
You can quote me on that!
“When you start working, everybody is in your studio…the past, your friends, enemies…and above all, your own ideas all are there. But as you continue…they start leaving, one by one, and you are left completely alone. Then, if you’re lucky, even you leave.” -Philip Guston
"Our unconscious expectations - our entanglements - with our clients, are invitations to experience being on our growth edge .” - Sas Petherick
"One of the most important questions you can ask yourself: is this a protective belief or is this a business problem? Because your answer will ensure that you solve the right problem" - Sas Petherick
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It's the 100th episode of Courage + Spice (how did that happen?!) so I’m sharing my 10 year business journey with you all this week. It starts with a poem that I wrote one Sunday night with the Monday dreads and brings us to today with the fourth class of the Self-belief Coaching Academy opening for enrolment, and Self-Belief School about to run for the first time.
So what’s this episode really about?
- It all started with a poem. That was really a prayer. That came true three days later. And that wasn't even the weirdest thing that happened.
- I explain how I felt leaving my corporate job and how my ambition for corporate stardom evaporated.
- My serendipitous catch-up with a complete stranger that led to my first coach training.
- How it felt when I first started coaching - those tingly feelings of being in flow and knowing I was on the right path.
- The unexpected magic: from elephants everywhere to bending spoons with Oprah's life coach, to being told my future by a Shaman in Glastonbury.
- How I found the common theme of Self-Doubt that informs my coaching practice today.
- And I explain my three-step methodology: understanding your self-doubt, untangling from the stories, and becoming unfuckingstoppable.
Why you should listen
If you love a good origin story, buckle up folks because this one's a goodun. It starts with a 17-year corporate career that I wanted to end (but had no idea how), the beginnings of sobriety and a blog that I loved, continues with the academic study on self-doubt and the beginnings of my coaching practice, then ends with what the Self-Belief School is today.
I’ve learned SO MUCH along the way and I think you will too. This episode is for all you self-employed folks, coaches (of course) and anyone about to take the leap into something new - I'm sending love and fortitude to you all.
Links
- Self-Doubt Cheat Sheet: https://selfbelief.school/cheatsheet/
- The Spring 2022 class of the Self-belief Coaching Academy is open for enrolment.
- Self-Belief School will run for the first time this Spring!
You can quote me on that
“Everything you think is in your way, might not be.” - Sas Petherick
“Nothing’s gone wrong, you're just being a human.” - Sas Petherick
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I’m thrilled to be talking with Bear Hebert today. They are an anti-capitalist business coach and radical consultant and social justice educator. Bear also has a side hustle teaching men how to unlearn patriarchal bad behaviour. I just love Bear’s work, I am so glad they are here. Last year I purchased Freely – Bear’s anti-capitalist guide to pricing and it was SO helpful and educational - I learned A LOT! I really hope you enjoy this episode.
So what's this episode really about?
- Bear talks about how we can make a decent living as a self employed person and still do right in the world.
- They also talk about their own relationship with money.
- Capitalism based on paradox you cannot win–keep growing and you can never have enough - we talk through all the alternatives: sustainability and reciprocity and where abundance appears in all this.
- Bear offers real, practical advice on your relationship with money when following anti-capitalist values.
Why you should listen
Most of us who are self-employed will at some point face our relationship with money. Sometimes that’s a bit like wresting an octopus because you start to see that there are tentacles everywhere–in our family ancestral story, our self-worth, relationship to the planet, what we value, systems of oppression. Bear gives real, honest and practical advice on how your business can better service your clients with an anti-capitalist lens.
Links:
Radical Business Incubator
Freely: the Anti-Capitalist Guide to pricing your work
Marketing for Weirdos
Follow Bear on Instagram
You can quote me on that
“Poverty is not just a mindset issue.” - Bear Herbert
“I’m trying to survive individually, so I can be in better service of the collective liberation.” - Bear Herbert.
“I refuse to be my own bad boss.” - Bear Herbert
“We are sold a story that happiness comes from the more wealth you have, all the research suggests that that’s actually bullshit!” - Sas Petherick
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Maggie Reyes is a marriage coach who specialises in helping Type A women have better marriages - without waiting for their partners to do something and without adding to their already jam-packed lives. I’ve known Maggie for years and years and this is the second time we’ve chatted, talk about the OG’s of the coaching world! I really hope you enjoy this episode, there’s almost too much goodness inside, I really found myself wanting to coach with her myself!
So whats this episode really about?
- Maggie talks about what really goes on in her coaching practice and how different she is from what you believe a marriage coach to be.
- How feminism comes into a marriage - for the foundation of equality and respect.
- Maggie goes deep into the whole idea of systems theory and how she uses this with her clients.
- And, of course, how self-doubt shows up in our primary relationships and the key psychological risks that come up with this.
- We explain rejection sensitivity, how you can have this and how this can show up for you and your partner.
- We take a deep dive into boundaries and what trips us up as partners.
- How do we get our needs met without being the arsehole?
- I ask Maggie what she thinks about a marriage that learns, grows and develops and how we live with someone for the long haul.
Why you should listen
When we can take responsibility for our own emotional wellbeing and share that in our families in the smallest level, this is how we change the world. Maggie explains how for a thousand years humans followed through example, through apprenticeship. So by working with just one person in the relationship, she is able to lead by example. If you don’t keep your own word, you will always doubt your own self and others. We also talk about taking emotional leadership in your relationship - don’t wait for your partner to do the things you want, YOU do the things you want.
Links:
Visit Maggie's Website
Questions for Couples Book
Marian Woodman Books
You can quote me on that
“A loved heart does not go to war with itself or with others.” Maggie Reyes.
“As soon as you take full responsibility for your own experience, everything shifts.” - Sas Petherick
“From now on, I disappoint myself last” - Sarah Wiles
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We’ve got something a little different this week - I’m thrilled to have a few letters coming in from you folks and these are both related to self-doubt and decision making. Thank you so much for trusting me with your questions! I just want to re- assure all my listeners who are grappling with a specific decision like my listener Rosie, or you resonate with Mel’s overthinking and second-guessing, it’s really understandable ( and you’ve come to the right episode!)
So what’s this episode really about?
- I describe the wider perspective of how self-doubt gets all caught up with our decision making.
- I directly answer my listener Rosie’s question - ‘how do I know the difference between self-doubt and what is really wrong for me?’
- I offer up my Top Tips for making a decision when self-doubt is getting in the way.
- I talk about the differences between pre-emptive failure and ‘clean’ failure.
Why you should listen
Our culture LOVES certainty, so of course, we all value clarity. When self-doubt gets all tangled up in our decision making, it cuts us off from self-trust. Cultivating self-trust is a skill we can develop! We value our own intellect and intuition - we practice discernment. Once we grow our capacity for self-trust, we can see that we have our own back, no matter what. We don’t have to wait until we know more, or wait for approval from others, we can just make choices based on what we know, even with all that uncertainty. In this episode I’ll help you take the first steps to developing those skills.
Links:
Send over your self-belief questions to me via my podcast page: https://selfbelief.school/podcast/
You can quote me on that!
“Decision making can be cat-nip for self-doubt.” - Sas Pethrick
“There are no wrong decisions - there are just choices we make with a set of circumstances and beliefs we are living the time.” - Sas Petherick
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Episode 96: Teens + Self-belief with Maria Evans
I’m here this week with the one and only Maria Evans, a coach and mentor for teens, helping them to own their future, take on challenges in the times ahead as well as making sense of the ones they are dealing with now. I’ve been so excited to talk with Maria because if there is one thing I get asked all the time it’s: ‘how do we install self-belief in our kids?’ I’m not a parent and I don’t really work with teens, but I know that Maria’s experiences as a teacher, her training as a self-belief coach and her wealth of experience as a parent is going to be so helpful to everyone listening, I just adore this woman! The future is in good hands with Maria on board.
So what’s this episode really about?
- We talk about the different pressures that come up for today’s teens (and no, it not just social media!)
- When you get down to the bottom of it, teens problems are the same as they have always been and we talk about the themes that Maria’s teen clients bring to her coaching.
- How self-belief is at the route of all these problems and Maria talks about her experiences in the Self-Belief Coaching Academy.
- Having a container away from the parent where a teen can offload their problems is hugely beneficial to both parent and teen.
- Maria offers her invaluable advice to parents on how to manage the teenage years.
Why you should listen
Maria talks about how she helps parents let go of some of the control they have on their kids when they are little, gets them to a place where they can safely give permission to their son or daughter to make mistakes, allowing them to fail. If you are micro-managing your teens and have come to the end of your tether, this is the episode for you!
Also, I don’t imagine there are many teenagers listening to this podcast, but if you are, a massive shout out to you too.
Links:
The Book Of You: https://www.mariateencoach.com/the-book-of-you
You can quote me on that!
Maria Evans - “A lot of us have a fear of authority, of getting things right and we somehow think if our kid isn’t handing in their maths homework on time, we are the crap parent.”
Mrs Broadfoot (my wonderful history teacher) - “Just do what you can to revise, I don’t want you peaking in high school.”
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Word of the year but make it disco
Welcome to 2022
If you are tuning into this episode in real time I hope you got what you needed from the holiday break.
I actually rested - last summer i practiced rest and slowing down with mixed results. My over functioning self that spent decades finding safety in doing was not very good at not doing. Over Christmas I found it much easier, for a start I was way less burnt out to start with. There’s something in that!
I am so excited about the guests coming up in the next few months. We got into a lovely rhythm last year and we are planning more of the same. Please know that I am open to creating episodes for you! If you have a self-doubt related question please zip over to selfbelief.school and fill in the online form - I’ll replay to your letter in podcast form - so you’ll get your very own episode. SO FUN.
Here’s to a fun filled year of Courage + Spice, I am so glad you are listening in!
So whats this episode really about?
- I delve into my approach to starting the year - how I’m feeling clear and open hearted about what I’m here to do.
- I go through my previous words of the year from way back when.
- How intentions help to make space in our brains, make things conscious.
- I go through my own word of the year- ‘Disappointment’ - and why I’ve chosen it.
- I also talk about how bringing our Intentions to life is about being really interested in where we put our Attention.
- I talk about the seven big risks that massively activate self-doubt.
Why you should listen
Anyone who is going through this process of choosing there word of the year should realise it’s not about the outcome. So many of us get caught up with ‘what do I create, what’s the end goal?’ It’s not the outcome that creates the experience for us, it’s how we feel along the way and what these experiences help us to believe about ourselves and what we are capable of.
Links:
Self Belief School is the best fun you can have with your self-doubt. This programme has been a decade in the making and is the only way to coach with me. Sign up to the very first Self Belief School this Spring: https://selfbelief.school/class/
You can quote me on that
Mary Oliver - “Attention is the beginning of devotion.”
Sas Petherick - “There is no goal or dream or achievement or resolution or intention that will make you more worthy of love.”
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As we come to the end of 2021, we have almost 150 thousand families in the UK grieving the loss of loved ones from Covid19, about 1 in 4 people are looking to change their job in the next 12 months and divorces and separations have massively increased over this pandemic period.
I know for many of us there is grief, loss and endings in many shapes and forms. It doesn’t seem to matter if endings are ambiguous or even chosen, loss is HARD! So it’s no wonder we resist endings, we just aren’t very good at them.
In this episode I really dive deep into the different types of grief and why every type is valid, I hope you can take comfort in my words as we share in this as a collective.
So what’s this episode really about?
- Why we find grief, loss and endings so damn HARD!
- Grief exists on a massive spectrum, it’s not just about the loss of a loved one - all grief is legitimate and I talk about all the different types of grief and why they all matter.
- The sense of grieving, even when we are not directly impacted (and I talk about my own families loss in this area.)
- I discuss the emotional symptoms that come with grief, including the ones that surprise us.
- How grief can help us move on with our lives and ultimately make us better people.
- I go through 5 different ways of doing endings and grieving well from a healthy adult self.
Why you should listen
Grief, loss and endings are everywhere at the moment and it this episode I’ll talk more about how we can manage these feelings. I really hope this episode helps you feel more supported and less alone. If like me, you’ve had endings that haven’t been acknowledged growing up, this is the episode for you.
Links:
The 5 Stages of Grief by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
On Death and Dying by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes by William Bridges
You can quote me on that:
“Grief is complex; it’s a kaleidoscope of humanity that doesn’t have to involve the other person, it’s doesn’t have to be big or significant. If you loose something that’s important to you, it’s super natural to experience grief.” - Sas Petherick.
“There is no one correct way to experience grief, but you can expect that your grief will change and evolve as you do.” - Sas Petherick
“Every transition ends with a new beginning.” William Bridges
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Content warning: this episode contains a discussion about dysfunctional relationships with alcohol that may be difficult for folks new to recovery.Whenever I talk about my sobriety on Instagram I get a tonne of DM’s, so I’m overjoyed to have the wonderful Karen Johnston, champion of self-love, self-care and self-compassion, on the podcast today.
Karen Marie Johnston is an advocate of women who are sober or are in recovery. She comes from a front-line social worker background who has run award-winning projects, and now, alongside social work, runs The Self Love Hub - an online community along with the most beautiful weekend retreats, (which is totally on my vision board to attend, but always seem to sell out).
So what’s this episode really about?
- We get to the bottom of the reasons why some of us turn to drink to help us cope with life.
- Why in an increasing difficult world, it’s completely understandable that we choose to use alcohol to numb us out, or escape reality.
- How lockdown felt for as both in sobriety and how it effected people who drink excessively.
- How to spot the signs that becoming sober is right for you, or when you know it might be time to reduce your drinking.
- We ask the important question - are we avoiding our needs and emotions when we drink?
Why you should listen
Most of us aren’t taught how to navigate our feelings in a way that feels ok. We end up trying to avoid or dismiss them, some of us shop or scroll them away, some of us drink. This often creates a cycle of shame where the ways we cope with the underlying feelings, don't feel good.
But it's the reason why we turn to these shadow comforts that are worth our attention, curiosity and compassion. By finding safe spaces to talk about how we are actually doing, we can begin the process of feeling instead of numbing.
Most of us don't know who we will be on the other side of sobriety, or much-reduced drinking - understandably we feel apprehensive, fearful, even dismissive. It might not be something you have ever talked about with anyone but you can trust that soul-level recognition that wants to make a change.
We talk about how amazing sobriety is, that this shared path creates an incredible intimacy with others.
Links:
Follow Karen on Instagram
The Self-Love Hub
You can quote me on that!
“Being able to feel the full spectrum of your emotions is being alive.” - Sas Petherick
“Our wound is not our fault, but our healing is our responsibility.” - Karen Marie Johnston
“I can access my intuition (now I’m sober), that feels incredible to me.” - Karen Marie Johnston.
Like what you hear?
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It was love at first sight with this weeks guest, the glorious Pippa Parfait. We met a dozen moons ago at a posh party in London and we have been firm friends ever since. Pippa has had decades of experience before she retrained as a coach, leading big teams and sorting out big companies. This super resourceful lady now runs Disobedient Business, is a strategy whiz who totally gets systems and tech but is also a coach with a massive heart, who coaches businesses to run things their way. This chat will pretty much be like our co-working chats, we welcome you folks to be a fly on the wall!
So what's this episode really about?
- How comfortable we get with chaos as business owners and why we keep things in our own head.
- We both admit to bouts of toxic productivity and talk about leaning into looking after ourselves more, making time for rest and also being playful with our businesses.
- At what point in your business cycle you know that you are ready for help. (clue: it usually starts with a tech problem)
- How self-doubt comes up when there is too much complexity, when it feels too hard.
- How do I hire someone when I need to get over my perfectionism?
- How we find safety in over functioning.
Why you should listen
If you are the kind of person who has real crunchiness when it come to delegating in your business and to let those people you have delegated too, work in their zone of genius without micro-managing, this is the episode for you!
We also talk about how tech can let you down, you can have all your ducks in a row and things still don’t go to plan, but how we are able to let this go, it’s not the end of the world.
When you work with people rather than having people working for you and the joy that comes with that.
Links
Follow Pippa Parfait on Instagram
Work with Pippa
You can quote me on that!
“When we get really simple and clear about how we work with people, it becomes magnetising.” - Sas Petherick
“If we put all our ducks in a row, what happens then, how do we surrender to that?” - Pippa Parfait
Like what you hear?
Why not help me reach more ears (and give my self-belief a boost) with a 5-star rating?
This episode is about, self-doubt, love, attachment theory and…burgers!
If you're sad at the prospect of being alone forever, terrified of settling for someone you don’t really like anymore, if you are convinced that there is only one true soul mate out there for you, if you are dating complete arses, or Insta stalking your ex, if you feel like the entire model of coupledom forever is just not for you, then grab a cuppa and listen in close, this episode is for you!
So what’s this episode really about?
- The intersection of self-doubt in love, how many choices we have, why we want what we want and why we often don’t get what we want.
- Why we accept the love we think we deserve (quoting Charlie from The Perks of Being a Wallflower)
- How we show up in relationships and some ways you can reflect on this.
- The idea of love as we see it in our culture today.
Why you should listen
I take a look at attachment theory and self-doubt: how this can help us understand the beliefs and behaviours of how we connect with other people.
And you've got homework! Three questions to ask yourself about you and your relationship right now that can help you experiment with healthier ways of being in relationships.
Links
Find your attachment style
Books I recommend:
- Insecure in Love by Leslie Becker-Phelps
- Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment by Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller
- Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Dr. Sue Johnson
- Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy by Jessica Fern
You can quote me on that…
“Love is hard, it’s one of the most emotionally complex things you will ever do. It’s a full house of psychological risk, so no wonder our self-doubt gets really twitchy.” - Sas Petherick.
“As soon as you raise your standards, as soon as you say I am worthy of being loved because I like myself enough to require that, you will never walk into a McDonalds and ask for a damn Whopper.” - Sas Petherick
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Dr Suzy Darke is a business coach like no other! I see her growing a quiet rebellion, inviting us to challenge the kinds of practices we all take for granted as business owners. Suzy is a coach, a mentor, a writer and she’s also a graduate of the Self-Belief Coaching Academy! Having spent six months in her company I’ve found her to be deeply empathic, she has an enormous heart, but she also has a really big impact. I’m sure you will really enjoy our conversation.
So what’s this episode really about?
Starting your own business is such a huge personal development journey, you don’t have to be louder, more extrovert, tougher. You are your own start line and you get to start from that space. Starting from a place of safety is so important.
- The push-pull between the ethics of marketing yourself with integrity and how does this fit with us as human beings.
- You don’t have to fit the mould of “girl boss” to get on in business and there’s never really a secret formula that works. You have to decide what is right for you.
- The steps you need to come back to your own heart and start to have some belief in yourself and your business.
- What you should stop doing - to make positive change in your life and business. (clue: this is all about comparison!)
Why you should listen:
Being more compassionate to yourself does not mean that you get less done. Trying not to judge ourselves for the mistakes we make, especially for the things we do not know yet. For some of us, self-compassion needs to be a daily practice!
Links:
Self Compassion by Kristin Neff
Google Project Aristotle
Follow Suzy on Instagram
Write better sales pages/Suzy Darke website
You can quote me on that!
“It’s not till we start showing ourselves compassion that we actually start to feel filled up.” - Sas Petherick.
“Never in my life have I been asked to show up as the true authentic me, never in the workplace where it’s about towing the line, at school it’s about being good, whatever that means! When do we get to be our whole selves?” - Suzy Darke.
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It’s my birthday week - I'm 48 - and I thought I’d share five big birthday thoughts for you.
This episode is a bit sweary so one for your earphones if you have little ones around.
So what's this episode really about?
- Life is RIDICULOUS - and we are constantly making this up.
- We are in this super interesting time of trying to identify ourselves - all of us yelling at each other: THIS IS ME. THIS IS NOT ME.
- Each of us is a miracle – I take a deep dive into why this is, including the fact that the odds any of us exist at all is so infinitesimally small as to be miraculous.
- BECOMING looks different to all of us. And we can have many lives (for me this includes the life when I’m a mother of five living in Wales, a pagan lesbian living at Salmon Creek Farm in California, or a lonely violin playing heiress living in the Barbican!).
- Why I feel like we are living in the apocalypse. And all is well.
Why you should listen
It’s fun to step back and take an eagle-eyed view of life! This can also be super helpful for our self-doubt if it gets tangled up in the minutiae of daily life.
Links:
Alan Watts video
The odds of you existing at all.
You can quote me on that!
“Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth.” – Alan Watts
“If you are resilient, let yourself fall apart. If you are controlling, practice surrender. If you are a perfectionist, be as imperfect as you can. If you are a dreamy unfinished-get something done. If you are locked in regret, forgive yourself. If you feel like you are constantly seeking the answer, practice tuning into your own intuitive responses. If you are super attached to your identities, play with alternative fantasy realities.” – Sas Petherick
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Hello folks if you aren’t following Keri Jarvis on Instagram then what are you even doing here?! Keri is an audacious feminist, a socialist, a speaker and leader of courses and business masterminds and a self belief coach. But more importantly, she a coach who is hear to answer, ‘who do you think you are?’
We have just spent the last six months together in the Self Belief Business Academy and Keri is infectious in the best way, I just know you are going to love our conversation!
So what is this episode really about?
- The feminist awakening that happens when you become a mother.
- How women that don’t become mothers embark on that feminist journey.
- Looking at 90’s music and Gen.X movies with a feminist lens and what comes up with that!
- Moving away from self care mode into community care and how helping others without being paid is a middle finger to capitalism.
- What to do with your anger now you're no longer a teenager.
Why you should listen:
When you care for your community and when you show up for others who have a more marginalised identity than you, but even if they don’t, its helps those people but it ultimately helps you too.
Links:
The Descent of Man - Grayson Perry
What White People Can Do Next: From Allyship to Coalition - Emma Dabiri
You can quote me on that!
“ The way that patriarchy, capitalism and white supremacy work is that it doesn’t work for men either.” - Sas Petherick
“ Taking time away from paid productivity to doing nice things for other people, is in itself a finger to capitalism.” Keri Jarvis
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Perfectionism is a protective belief that if you were perfect you will be safe. That's the bottom line. It can be any area of your life. It is also one of the most subtle and sophisticated forms of self-doubt. In this episode, we are going to talk about what perfectionism actually is in relation to self-doubt, but also a little bit about how this shows up for you, particularly in that protective self-doubt, the way we try to keep ourselves safe and hold ourselves back. I’m also going to talk about what it means to let go of perfectionism, kinda juicy don’t you think?
So what’s this episode really about?
- What are these sneaky protective perfectionist beliefs and how do you know you have them?
- How staying in possibility protects us from success.
- The cycle feeds the self-doubt stories we tell ourselves.
- How perfectionism shows up in four different forms of protection.
Why you should listen
This episode is especially for those who identify with being a perfectionist, but it’s also for those of you who seem pretty ok with your perfectionist tendencies! And if you are a fellow practitioner – I invite you to noodle on what it means to you to be ‘a good coach’ and just see what pops up that might be related to perfectionism – about who you have to be, what you are not allowed to feel, what is required of you on social media, from clients, how much income you should be making, the qualifications and training you need.
Links
The four distinct types of Protector
You can quote me on that!
“Self-doubt is all or nothing. This or that. Always or never. No one or everyone. It's absolute.” - Sas Petherick.
"Perfectionism makes it impossible to appreciate what you have right now. Who you are right now. What you are capable of right now.” - Sas Petherick.
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In this episode, I'm talking with Ellie Swift, Marketing and Mindset coach, who is also my business coach. We've been working together for almost a year and in that time my business has completely changed. I was really ready for things to shift when we started working together and I would never have believed it would look the way it does today!
Ellie is a triple threat of strategy, marketing and mindset, all wrapped up in the perkiest form a human can have, I'm sure you will love her as much as I do!
So what's this episode really about?
- There is no formula or secret to business, don't chase the secret, it's a waste of time!
- Implement a strategy, focus on your marketing, honour your mindset. that is the key to running a successful business.
- Taking the driving seat as the CEO - owning what you do and how you do it as a business owner.
Why you should listen.
Letting go of what you think you should be doing in your business, what was expected of you growing up and instead go with what your heart and gut tell you - then making things happen from that place.
Links:
Follow Ellie on Instagram
You can quote me on that:
" I wish women understood just how powerful they are when they connect back to themselves and their self-belief." - Ellie Swift
" There has to be value in what you do, people need to want to walk with you. We get so used to 'polishing the turd' we forget what is the unique reason and way we are doing this thing." - Sas Petherick.
Like what you hear?Why not help me reach more ears (and give my self-belief a boost) with a 5-star rating?
Welcome back! If you enjoy a bit of ‘behind the scenes’ details, I’m sharing what we’ve been up to over the Summer: a brand new website, a bespoke learning platform, sorting out our back-end systems, new team members – its been a fun time.
I share the three key questions I’ve been asking to help guide our approach to shorter and more focused work weeks.
Plus: if you are looking for some simple ways to get momentum for the new school terms, this episode is a must listen. I’m sharing three tiny ways to begin to change how you approach your day: at home, at work and in your business.
Summer Reading List:
All Families are Psychotic, Douglas Coupland
Assembly, Natasha Brown
Atomic Habits, James Clear
Black Rabbit Hall, Eve Chase
Circus of Wonders, Elizabeth Macneal
Daisy Jones and the Six, Taylor Jenkins Reid
Full Automated Luxury Communism, Aaron Bastani
Great Circle, Maggie Shipstead
Greenwood, Michael Christie
Light Perpetual, Francis Spufford
Luckenbooth, Jenni Fagan
Malibu Rising, Taylor Jenkins Reid
Miss Benson’s Beetle, Rachel Joyce
Noone is talking about this, Patricia Lockwood
The House on Fripp Island
The Lamplighters, Emma Stonex
The Lucky Escape, Laura Jane Williams
The Weekend, Charlotte Wood
Threadneedle, Cari Thomas
Podcasts:
Comfort Eating, Grace Dent
Ezra Klien Podcast
Pump up your Pod, Bamby Media
Smartless, Jason Bateman, Will Arnett and Shaun Hayes
Tell me something true, Laura McKowen
Tele!
Britannia
Never Have I Ever
Nine Perfect Strangers
Mare of Easttown
Ted Lasso
White Lotus
So fun to be in conversation with Rae McDaniel!
Rae is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, a Gender and Certified Sex Therapist and Coach who works with folks feeling anxious and lost about a transition they’re experiencing in sex, gender, sexual identity, or relationships.
Having been raised by travelling puppeteer missionaries, Rae also has the most incredible story of becoming who they are.
Rae and I talk about the immense agency, freedom, pleasure and play that is possible when we begin to explore our identities.
This is a rich and hopeful conversation. Enjoy :)
Find out more:
Connect with Rae: Practical Audacity
Join Rae’s Genderfck program
Rae on the gram: @practicalaudacity
So fun to be in conversation with Rae McDaniel!
Rae is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, a Gender and Certified Sex Therapist and Coach who works with folks feeling anxious and lost about a transition they’re experiencing in sex, gender, sexual identity, or relationships.
Having been raised by travelling puppeteer missionaries, Rae also has the most incredible story of becoming who they are.
Rae and I talk about the immense agency, freedom, pleasure and play that is possible when we begin to explore our identities.
This is a rich and hopeful conversation. Enjoy :)
Find out more:
Connect with Rae: Practical Audacity
Join Rae’s Genderfck program
Rae on the gram: @practicalaudacity
Thinking in binaries – it's this or it’s that, I’m a success or a failure; emotions, entire food groups, people are either good or bad – is a massive part of how our self-doubt holds us back.
The sneaky thing is that all or nothing thinking can feel necessary and legitimate! But it is always an illusion of safety.
In this eisode we explore how all or nothing thinking might be showing up for you, depending on how your protective self-doubt is organised.
More:
Episode 63 Self-doubt Drama (introduction to the Four Faces of the Protector framework)
Check out Coach Match to get coached on your all or nothing thinking!
Two 'Listener Letters' for you today on what to do when you are feeling disappointed in other people.
Our first letter is from Joanne who writes one of the funniest letters I’ve received – about her sister-in-law who won’t get a Covid vaccine. And another letter from a trainee coach who is feeling disappointed and disillusioned by her teacher and is wondering if the whole coaching industry is a pyramid scheme.
We talk about how this is always an opportunity for being in choice and for getting clear on what’s ok and not ok for us.
If you have a self-doubty challenge or dilemma or a question you’d like me to weigh in on, please do email all the things to sas@selfbelief.school.
For all you self-employed folks out there, who feel a bit confused, hesitant, and maybe a bit anxious about legal compliance, this episode is for you.
Ingrid Fernandez of Dec + Dash Legal Consulting joins us to chat about all things legal for your business. Ingrid is a lawyer, parent, small business owner – she aces! She knows how hard it can be to wear all the hats and be all the things when you are self-employed. Ingrid has an amazing ability to make the law simple, accessible and easy to understand.
Follow Ingrid on Instagram
This week we are opening up the mailbag for a couple of Listener Letters about self-doubt and social media. Shannon is getting stuck in comparison and Mariki is feeling uncomfortable with her constant checking habit.
If you find your self-doubt is activated by social media (in other words if you have a human brain) then this episode is for you.
We talk about what might be going on underneath these protective beliefs and behaviours and some practical steps for Shannon, Mariki (and you) to take.
More info:
Love notes to your clients from Kelly Diels: www.kellydiels.com + @kelly.diels
If you have a self-doubty challenge or dilemma or a question you’d like me to weigh in on, please do email all the things to sas@selfbelief.school.
So excited to share this episode with you!
Self-belief Coaching is about understanding the root causes of the doubts, worries, and fears that hold you back.
It’s not your mama’s life coaching! We don’t sugar coat the muck and bullets of life, offer Captain Obvs advice and we sure as shit don’t ‘do’ manifesting.
Instead we explore the very good reasons why self-doubt is showing up, how to have your own back (no matter what), how to live more bravely. How to create a life you actually LIKE.
We are about to launch Self-belief Coach Match which is an awesome new matchmaking service for you to work with experienced practitioners. These are coaches I have personally trained in the Self-belief Coaching Academy. They all bring their own flavour of magic to this work!
Today’s episode is about working with a self-belief coach – how you know you are ready and the outcomes you can expect.
Find out more about Self-belief Coach Match!
How do you organise your time? If you are constantly overwhelmed and this leads to procrastination or scattered results, I can HEAVILY relate.
In today’s episode I’m sharing how I have reclaimed my time, and found a way to do deep work – where I am able to complete what’s in front on me without getting distracted.
I share the way I organise my week as well as what I no longer do, and how this has created a lot more focus, finishing things(!) and fulfilment.
References:
Stacey Boheman – Cognitive Load
Self-belief Coach Match – a matchmaking service to find an experienced and qualified practitioner that I have personally trained. Available in May!
Angela Browne has been a teacher, Headteacher and Executive Leader for the last twenty years, she’s set up a free school, and in recent years become a TEDx speaker, author, coach and consultant. Alongside her consultancy for organisations who want to get their diversity, equity and inclusion strategy right. She is a transformational coach for women she calls luminaries – successful women who are ready for more nurturing and compassion so they can influence and impact the world.
We talk about Angela’s experience of difficult workplaces where we are not permitted to show emotion, let alone bring our full humanity. She shares her experience of choosing to lead from a full heart.
Angela’s wisdom is a great listen for anyone who has tried to survive in a difficult organisation.
References:
Angela Browne: Website | email
Self-belief Coach Match – a matchmaking service to find an experienced and qualified practitioner that I have personally trained. Available in May!
Do you overthink as if it were an Olympic sport and you are actually in training for medal contention? Do you find yourself replaying conversations hours or even days afterwards? Are you prone to never deciding? This episode is for you my friend!
Overthinking is a massive time and energy sucker but the good news is overthinking is a habit. And like all habits, it can be unlearned with some practice.
So in this episode we’ll explore what overthinking actually is, what causes it, and then walk through some practical exercises you can experiment with to stop overthinking so much.
More resources for you:
If you have a self-doubty challenge or dilemma or a question you’d like me to weigh in on, please do email all the things to sas@selfbelief.school. Just let me know if you want to be anonymous.
Self-belief Coach Match – a matchmaking service to find an experienced and qualified practitioner that I have personally trained. Available in May!
The first in a new series on the podcast – Listener Letters. If you have a dilemma, challenge or a self-doubty situation that is troubling you I want to help. Write to me and I will create a podcast episode especially for you. I am hoping that this will not only help you the letter writer, but also everyone who is also in a similar situation. So let me help!
Our first letter is from Diedre in Ireland who after years of achieving is not working and this has led to a sense of paralysis and some shame. She doesn’t know what to do next and doesn’t want to make the wrong choice. Like so many of us that go through an unmooring and uncertain change, Dierdre is asking ‘what do I do now?!’
In this episode we explore what happens when we go through a big transition – what to expect and how to support yourself at the four different stages.
References:
If you have a self-doubty challenge or dilemma or a question you’d like me to weigh in on, please do email all the things to sas@selfbelief.school.
Martha Beck’s Cycle of Change from Steering By Starlight
Self-belief Coach Match – a matchmaking service to find an experienced and qualified practitioner that I have personally trained.
Tamu’s work combines somatics, social work and spirituality with science and soulful systems. She is person-centred, evidence-based, trauma-informed, human-paced, nurturing, intuitive, loving and playful. Her holistic approach to supporting the bodies of her clients makes Tamu’s work rich and deep and unique – just like her.
We explore how can do our inside work – to take care of our multitudes, our developmental edges, how we have more joy, more meaning, more orgasms.
This is such a joyous fizzy conversation about our humanness!
Links:
- Tamu on Instagram @livethreesixty
- Tamu's website
Success is one of the core risks that self-doubt holds us back from.
It’s a sneaky risk because so much of our culture assumes that we are just supposed to want success!
In this episode, we explore how the risk of success shows up and how to recognise that this might be something you protect yourself from.
I’m also sharing three really practical steps you can take today, to feel less discomfort and to change your relationship with success.
Creating success on our terms provides us with amazing opportunities to create work that reflects our values, that allows us to experience pride and joy, help us to grow and our self-concept to expand.
If your relationship with success could do with some love - this episode is especially for you.
If you notice that you really need external validation to make decisions, to feel like what you have done matters, this episode will help.
First – nothing has gone wrong! This is an entirely human tendency and it helps us feel connected to other people. It becomes problematic when we feel dependent on external validation to do anything!
In this episode Sas explores why some of us have a big hunger for validation from other people, what we are really doing, when we seek external validation. Sas also shares three really simple practices to help you begin to validate yourself that will dramatically grow your self-trust.
Claire Mahon is a global human rights lawyer who has worked as an advisor to world leaders, Presidents and heads of global agencies, and has run a global consulting practice for over 20 years.
In late 2018 she gave up her business, her life in Switzerland and her salary to move back to her hometown of Rotorua, New Zealand, to stand as a member of parliament in the 2020 election campaign for Jacinda Ardern’s Labour Party. She went ALL in and the results were never guaranteed…
In today’s episode Sas talks about mindset work – what it is, exactly how she uses it with clients, and how you can use it to support yourself.
Sas also addresses the ways in which mindset work has misunderstood or used in unhelpful, and potentially damaging ways.
If you are interested in learning how to think in ways that support you and help to minimise your self-doubt, this episode is for you!
This episode is for anyone who knows they have some untapped potential inside them but maybe you don’t know what to do or your self-doubt is getting in the way.
In this episode Sas talks about the aspects of self-belief that helped her grow her business by 300% in 12 months! There are three practical, actionable steps you can take to start to bring your potential into the world.
Links:
The Self-belief Coaching Academy.
My podcast interview with Ellie Swift: Swift Online.
The Bold Type.
It was such a treat to interview family psychologist Julia Goodall and money coach + mentor Ray Dodd - two members of the Self-belief Coaching Academy.
Julia and Ray talk about what it has been like to become learners, the process of practice coaching and what has changed for them and their work as a result of becoming Self-belief Coaches.
Both of these women have come to Self-belief Coach training from wildly different backgrounds, settings for their coaching work and life experiences. If you are thinking about SBCA, this is a must-listen!
Links:
- The Self-belief Coaching Academy
- Ray Dodd
- Julia Goodall
- Lisa Mabberley (the third and deeply valued member of the ‘Practice Pod’, Lisa was unable to attend).
What makes coaching really good? How do coaches create the conditions for the client to get what they came for? Why is coaching so hard?!
In this episode Sas shares her thoughts on what coaching mastery is, and the three elements that add rich substance to the coaching experience.
This episode is going to be particularly helpful for coaches listening in, and if you are thinking of working with a coach, this will help you know what to look for.
ALSO:The Spring 2021 class of The Self-belief Coaching Academy is open for enrollment. This 20-week programme is evidence-based, trauma-informed and specifically designed to equip you with proven tools to support your clients with self-doubt.
Especially for all you coaches listening in – this episode is all about Coaching Supervision.
Kristina Sheppard joins Sas to talk about supervision for coaches: what it is, how it helps us develop mastery, deepen our presence and become more aligned to the coaching work we love.
Links:
- Kristina on Instagram @becometheauthorofyourlife
- Kristina’s Super-Vision Academy
The Spring 2021 class of The Self-belief Coaching Academy is open for enrollment. This 20-week programme is evidence-based, trauma-informed and specifically designed to equip you with proven tools to support your clients with self-doubt.
Building on the last episode Sas shared a new coaching concept she has developed, called The Four Faces of the Protector.
In Part two Sas shares how to begin to interrupt the ways that your particular protector holds you back. To be most effective, each of the Four Protectors - The Critic, The Martyr, The Scapegoat, and The Bystander - require specific approaches. Sas shares them all here.
Links:
- Episode Guidance: The Four Faces of the Protector
- Take the quiz and uncover your Self-doubt Archetype!
- The Self-belief Coaching Academy
In this episode Sas shares a new coaching concept she has been developing over the last six months. The Four Faces of the Protector provides you with a framework for understanding how your protective self-doubt holds you back.
In Part one Sas shares how she developed this concept, and how you can use it to better understand your self-doubt. This is for anyone who doesn’t experience their self-doubt as an inner critic (and if you do!).
Links:
- Episode Guidance: The Four Faces of the Protector
- Take the quiz and uncover your Self-doubt Archetype!
- The Self-belief Coaching Academy
In this episode Sas explains one of the greatest resources you can call on when your self-doubt is activated: your Healthy Adult Self.
You may not even know you have this!
Sas talks about this part of you, why it matters and the core qualities your healthy adult self is in possession of. She’ll also show you a really simple way to begin to build a relationship with this aspect of you.
Links + Resources:
- Take the quiz and uncover your Self-doubt Archetype!
- The Self-belief Coaching Academy
Most of us drastically underestimate what we are capable of. In this episode Sas talk’s about the difference between intentions and goals.
Pursuing meaningful, compelling goals and living with intentions that are rooted in our personal values are powerful ways to heal self-doubt. But did you know it's super easy to use goals and intentions in ways that actually increase our self-doubt?
Sas explains how to know what would best support you.
Links:
- Take the quiz and uncover your Self-doubt Archetype!
- The Self-belief Coaching Academy
Courage + Spice is back! In this episode you’ll hear an update from Sas on what she’s been up to and what’s coming in 2021.
We’ll also explore the relationship you have with your goals - particularly the role self-doubt plays. Sas shares the five different types of approaches that we tend to have with goals. So if you feel like it would be fun to try something new this year – to see what is possible, this is a great place to start.
Links:
- Take the quiz and uncover your Self-doubt Archetype!
- The Self-belief Coaching Academy
The podcast for humans with self-doubt is back in your earholes! Listen in to find out what to expect from the new season from host Sas Petherick
Because of the emails and messages, you all send me I know that if you are listening to this podcast, you are interested in your own development as a human and you tend to be self-reflective (which is one of the best things I believe anyone can be).
And I know many of you are also coaches and therapists - I work with a lot of colleagues to help set up a sustainable practice and navigate the inevitable self-doubt that crops up when we embark on putting our hearts work in the world.
So as a self-reflective human or a fellow practitioner, you are more likely than the average bear, to seek out coaching support.
This episode is designed to support you to make good choices if you are 'coaching curious' — to understand a bit more about the value of coaching and how to get the most from a coaching experience.
Curoius about coaching? Take a look at Coach Match, where you can coach with experienced practitioners who have trained at the Self-belief Coaching Academy
In the last couple of episodes, we have been exploring our unhealthy, unhelpful, often unhealed beliefs: how to recognise them, the benefits of changing them. We've looked at the most common types of negative self-talk (called Cognitive Distortions), and we've looked at the beliefs of Cognitive Restructuring - changing the meaning of what happens to us, so we can impact how we feel emotionally and what we do behaviourally.
In this episode, we are bringing these ideas together. I'm sharing a practice called Belief Busting that I have developed over the last few years, specifically to help folks who are held back by the beliefs that create and sustain self-doubt.
Usually, I teach this in my programmes, or with private coaching clients. But I want to share this with you so you can learn how to coach yourself. This episode is a bit like a workshop cum coaching session!
Download the Belief Buster worksheet
Cognitive Restructuring is based on the principle that how we feel emotionally and what we do behaviourally, is not the result of what happens to us, but instead, it’s down to how we think about what happens to us.
This means that we can change how we feel and what we do by changing what we believe about what happens to us.
Practising this is freaking ace!
It helps us to slow down and become more aware of our negative self-talk and unhealthy beliefs. This makes it so much easier to unpack unconscious beliefs so we can intentionally and consciously change them.
This is part two of a three-part podcast mini-series! Next week I’ll walk you through a cognitive restructuring process so you can use this in your life.
Your voice is the one you hear most often, is it kind?
So much mental and emotional suffering comes from the way we talk to ourselves in our own minds.
Over time, the beliefs and behaviours we repeat to ourselves become habitual. Just like we all have physical habits—brushing our teeth before bed, twirling our hair when we’re nervous —we all have psychological habits too.
One of our common psychological habits is the way of talking to ourselves.
This episode is all about the most common types of negative self-talk (sometimes called Cognitive Distortions), and some strategies you can use to identify and start to change your own unhelpful negative voice and upgrade your self-talk!
Unconditional Self-acceptance means that we fully and unconditionally accept ourselves regardless of our competence, and whether or not other people approve, respect, or love us.
With self-acceptance, if we mess up, we understand that we’ve messed up. That’s it. No unfavourable judgement. No feeling bad. Hence, no constant fluctuation in self-worth. We start to experience the world differently. If we don’t get what we want, we are still ok.
With unconditional self-acceptance, you are interested in learning from specific beliefs, behaviours and outcomes but your unique you-ness is never up for debate. You become the constant in your own life.
In this episode we explore what Unconditional Self-acceptance looks like, it's many benefits and importantly: how to begin to cultivate it!
High self-esteem is something many of us desire, its the source of a squillion Pinterest quotes, we tend to worry if our kids don’t have enough of it, it seems to be the secret to professional and personal achievements which is probably why parents, teachers, therapists and coaches bang-on about its many benefits.
But does self-esteem actually make us happier, healthier, more successful?
In this episode, we go on a magical mystery tour of the self-esteem movement: where it came from, the surprising research findings and how self-esteem moved out of the realm of psychological research and into Infomercials and Oprah guests.
Self-doubt is often characterised as an inner-critic or self-saboteur, but its SO much more sophisticated than that!
In this episode, I introduce the concept of The Protector: a characterisation of self-doubt that you can meet with creativity and compassion.
I share five key aspects of this part of your psyche including ideas for how to develop your relationship.
A personal episode for me this week. I share how I have come to really own my preferences: from NOT camping to learning how to say a clean and boundaried 'no'.
Twas not always thus! I sometimes joke that I am a Recovering People Pleaser, but I don't want to make light of what has been a huge developmental process. To own our preferences we must make peace with the possibility that we will be disliked, we'll create tension and conflict, and we may be rejected.
But even though all these things have happened, it's still worth it to be me, in every context, all the time.
In this episode, I share how I uncovered the root causes of this aspect of my self-doubt, how healing these events was just the beginning.
In this episode, I share why it's easy to get confused between your gut feeling and your self-doubt.
This is particularly tricky when we are learning something new!
Using Broadwell's model of competence we explore when your gut feeling is most reliable and how to tap into what it's telling you.
It's episode 50 and two years since beginning the podcast! I thought it would be fun to revisit the very first episode: The Five P's of Self-doubt.
In the first episode, I (somewhat tentatively!) shared my framework for how self-doubt works - how it responds to psychological risk and how we use the Five P's to keep ourselves safe from that risk. In this episode, I share how my theory has evolved in the last few years.
I've been exploring the concept of psychological risk, looking at how this operates and the consequences of it. These findings have updated my original framework, added an additional 'P', and led to this episode.
If you have a vociferous inner-critic, this episode is for you!
Everything outside of you, is neutral. It just IS. How you experience the world, is how you interpret it. Usually, we don't just have an experience, we have a lot of thoughts, feelings, judgements about the experience!
In this episode, I share how most of us were never taught to be consciously aware of how we interpret neutral reality. Plus I share a practice for you try!
The question I am asked The Most about my work is 'how can I feel more confident right now?' And in this episode, I'm answering the question!
Most of us want to feel confident so we can do and say what we want to do and say. We have some imaginary version of what would be possible if we had more confidence: who we would be, much more awesome our lives would be. But what most of us don’t realise is that confidence is a consequence of other things. It never comes first.
I'm sharing how I have come to understand the process by which confidence is cultivated, how I see this process as a pyramid.
There are five layers on top of each other - like building blocks - and confidence is the final block at the top of the pyramid.
In this episode, we explore a concept from developmental psychology that our growth as adults is partly about increasing our capacity to understand, reflect on and respond to two key psychological states: sameness and difference.
I see the infinity loop as symbolic of this process that we are always moving through: one loop is sameness which represents safety, stability and peace; this is where we feel settled, where we integrate and consolidate what we learn out in the world. The other loop is difference, which offers us the stimulation of energy, complexity and newness that we need to grow.
We explore what happens within these states, how we get stuck and why self-doubt is integral to keep moving.
Julie Parker is the Founder of The Beautiful You Coaching Academy where she passionately trains and supports heart centred people to become life coaches. Julie has inspired thousands of people on stages all over the world and is the recipient of numerous leadership and women’s business awards.
Julie is also the Co-Founder of Priestess Temple School and host of the top ranking Priestess Podcast.
We talk about growing up in rural Australia, the gift of being raised by excellent mothers, beginning work as a social worker, the mentors and teachers that shaped us, how our world is calling forward a new model of leadership that is cooperative, inclusive, vulnerable and imperfect. This is one of my favourite interviews!
Sarah Vermunt is the founder of the career coaching company: Careergasm. She is the author of two books Careergasmand Career Rookie: A Get-It-Together Guide for Grads, Students & Career Newbies. She helps people figure out what the heck they want so they can quit jobs they hate and do work that feels good.
In this conversation we talk about the courage it takes to admit when your work feels like someone else's dream job, how to begin to uncover what you really do want to do, and why you never have to monetise the hobbies and interests you adore. I just know this will be the spark you need to start thinking about how you wantto feel in your work!
Mary Beth LaRue is a yoga teacher, mentor, writer, and the co-founder of a yoga-inspired coaching company, Rock Your Bliss.
MB has been a yoga teacher for over a decade teaching thousands of people on stage at Wanderlust Festivals as well as designing custom yoga programs for rehabilitation centers, homeless shelters and the Down Syndrome Association of Los Angeles.
Originally from Iowa, MB lives in Silver Lake, Los Angeles with English bulldog Rosy, husband Matt and together they are growing a family through foster adoption.
MaryBeth and Matt are parents to Baby A, their story is one of deep courage and the willingness to live with uncertainty every day. I just know you are going to be so touched by this tender love story.
Jessie Harrold is a women’s mentor, wilderness quest guide, doula, and author of the book Project Body Love: my quest to love my body and the surprising truth I found instead.
We talk about Jessie's quest to reclaim her identity after her big dream of becoming a doctor didn't pan out, how she has since carved out work of real meaning, and how she has learnt to be in her body.
Mike Aspinall is craft fanatic. You might know him as The Crafty Gentleman - his website was recently named one of the UK’s most popular DIY sites, you may have also seen him hanging out with the likes of Kirstie Allsopp or at a craft event across the UK.
I love his enthusiasm for crafting and his belief that making should be open and accessible to everyone.
We talked about following your curiosity, the importance of retaining a sense of humour, how running a business requires us to be clear on our personal values and why running a craft-based business alongside a day job has multiple benefits.
When she was 4 years old Sylvia Mac suffered 3rd and 4th degree burns over my back and various parts of her body. She was put on life support and was not expected to live. But she pulled through only to face years of surgeries and skin grafts as her body healed. The unseen scars of PTSD took much much longer to recover from.
These days Sylvia campaigns for those with body disfigurements by raising awareness through her not-for-profit campaign group, Love Disfigure.
For this year's Mental Health Awareness Week theme of Body Image, this is the story of a woman who has one of the most spectacular body images I know of!
Maliha Abidi is the artist and author of ‘Pakistan For Women: Stories of women who achieved something extraordinary’.
Pakistan For Women shares more than 50 real stories of amazing women who belong to Pakistan and have achieved something extraordinary while making a difference.
Maliha celebrates women from mountaineers to astrophysicists to educators, and advocates for the idea that if these Pakistani women can achieve their dreams through hard work and dedication, so can every girl reading their stories.
Maliha’s story is one of courage and self-belief too. Of growing up in the beauty of Karachi, moving to California as a teenager and then to Britain as a new wife. She offers encouragement to artists everywhere to delight in your creativity.
This conversation was recorded a few days after the massacre at the Mosque's in New Zealand: a poignant aspect of a conversation between two women: one a kiwi and one a Muslim.
Ruth Allen is a counselling psychotherapist, outdoor therapist and writer interested in solitude, silence, movement and narrative. She is also an organisational trainer, endurance runner and mountain addict.
Last year Ruth ran the entire 350 km length of Bosnia and Herzegovina across the mountains. Solo and unsupported,wild camping across the country. One woman, with a tent and stove. Ruth’s storytelling of that journey was profound and compelling and brave.
In this episode, we talk about Ruth's trek, the existential doubt that resides somewhere underneath our self-doubt, the importance of ritual for integrating our experiences. And the dance between the numinous transcendent moments and the mostly mundane aspects of our everyday human existence.
I first discovered Kat Goldin through Instagram. I could scroll through Kat’s images of Scottish sunsets, comedic goats and Major Tim the dramatic peacock all day.
And then last year she taught me how to make sourdough bread and in no small way changed my life.
Kat lives at Gartur & Stitch farm, on the edge of Loch Lomond with her family of human, feathered and furry beings. The tagline on the Gartur & Stitch website is a quote from poet Mary Oliver: 'Instructions for living a life. Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.' This is exactly what Kat does so brilliantly. A born storyteller, we get to see that this small farm is a universe unto itself. From the Farm studio, Kat & Kevin teach folks how to raise goats, make cheese, carve spoons, forage for food. And make bread.
I have some idea from her writing, that this life has been a long-held dream of Kat’s.
We talk about how Kat dreamed of her farm a decade before she saw it, and what it has taken to create a viable business from a team of wayward goats.
On the 20th of December 2018, my heart stopped working. I collapsed on the kitchen floor. 36 hours later, I was having emergency surgery to repair my heart which was completely blocked.
I want to reassure you that as I record this episode almost three months later, I feel very very well.
I know for a lot of us navigating through self-doubt, its the things we are fearful of - the thing we are most afraid of happening - that our self-doubt is trying to protect us from.
We often work really hard to avoid our fears at all costs. But I have learnt that fear is a curious beast when it is the only natural emotion to feel.
I wanted to talk to you about what I learnt in those 36 hours, mostly about the nature of fear. And how I am making sense of it all now.
Paul Jarvis is the author of Company of One: Why Staying Small is The Next Big Thing In Business. He also makes software, teaches popular online business courses and for the last two decades has been a web designer.
Paul has worked with professional athletes like Steve Nash and Shaquille O’Neal, corporate giants like Microsoft and Mercedes-Benz, and entrepreneurs with online empires like Danielle LaPorte and Marie Forleo. And he's written for Wired, USAToday, Fast Company, Forbes and loads of other snazzy publications.
Paul has one of the most thoughtful newsletters for business owners on the internet - I highly recommend signing up for his Sunday Dispatches.
We talk about what it has been like to grow up with the Internet, why growth isn't always the best thing for your business, why simplicity and elegance are solo business owners' greatest tools and how to find your 'Rat People'.
Lottie Storey has spent the last 15 years as a writer. She is currently the editor for the Beano Parents website, contribute regularly to magazines like Mollie Makes, Project Calm, Simply Vegan and In the Moment, and she has a podcast in development coming out in 2019.
We talk about the process of finding your writing voice, what it means to be a writer, how Lottie first got published and what freelance life is like as a busy, engaged parent of five. Lottie also shares the impact of finding her writing voice in other areas of her life; advocating for her own needs and those of her fabulous son, Ted.
We recorded our conversation at my kitchen table with Bohdi snuffling about on the floor, so its lovely to invite everyone here.
Rabya Lomas takes play really bloody seriously. She is a multifaceted woman who happens to be of dual British and Pakistani heritage, working full time as a project manager with an enthusiastic interest in Playful Living. Rabya's instagram feed is one of joyous fun - from pancakes and bubbles, a stairway of dreams, to imaginative ways with coffee beans - she is always looking to share and help others find their play so that can show up happy to their lives.
And this is not some whimsical frippery. Rabya believes there is power in play. When we are engaged in play with our minds and bodies we are wholly free in those moments. Free to explore without expectations or outcomes, free to discover yourself in those moments, free to unlock creative potential. and every piece of research I have read agrees with her!
We talk about what it was like for Rabya to grow up in her British Pakistani family, how she chose love over expectations, how she is learning to navigate her multifaceted self online and in real life, and why play matters SO much in these interesting times.
Beth Kempton is one busy woman! She runs three different businesses all of which offer tools, resources and online courses for living an inspired life.
Earlier in her career Beth worked with UN agencies, global brands, and NGOs all over the world, advising on corporate social responsibility and instigating projects that have raised over $10 million for charity. She also earned a Master’s degree in Japanese.
Beth’s second book ‘Wabi Sabi: Japanese wisdom for a perfectly imperfect life’ (Piatkus) is out now. She shares lessons inspired by ancient Japanese wisdom, gathered throughout a twenty-year love affair with Japan.
We talk about how to sink into your own wisdom, how to following the labyrinth of life and to embrace the perfection in imperfection.
Ngaio Anyia is a singer, songwriter, DJ, writer, poet, a columnist @bristol247 and leads inclusion and social justice projects in Bristol. Ngaio closed the Shangri-la stage at Glastonbury in 2017 and is a Jill Scott, Erykah Badu mashup for the #metoo generation!
Ngaio’s music is an expression of her advocacy work - she helped organise the black lives matter march in Bristol in 2016 and is currently leading the Inclusion Project for Artspace Lifespace and The Invisible Circus here in Bristol.
We talk about Ngaio's experience of learning how to be an ally and advocate in her work. Of how she keeps opening doors for other women of colour. Stay listening to the end for Ngaio's latest single See Them.
Jen Carrington is a creative coach, writer, and podcaster from Manchester, UK. Jen hosts the Make it Happen podcast and co-hosts ‘Letters from a Hopeful Creative’ with Sara Tasker. Jen is passionate about helping us to live life and run creative businesses on our own terms, choosing more than feeling overwhelmed, overworked, and burned out in our careers.
Its been a pleasure to admire Jen’s work evolve over the years and I particularly love how she creates thoughtful, useful mini books to help us all figure this running a business lark out!
Jen and I discuss what it really takes to build an online creative business, how to do it with self-doubt, and how to trust yourself when the online world is trying to profit from your insecurities.
We talk about defining success on your own terms, why chasing six figures is a path to disillusionment and how navigating through life's adversities are the best training any business owner could hope for.
There will never be an end to suffering and there will never be an end to personal pain, growth and evolution, but Loving Kindness offers us a practice where we can sit down in our bodies and feel our way into our hearts.
A Heart of Gold: lessons on the path of loving kindness is the culmination of a lifetime of teachings and personal practice of Loving Kindness.
Author Jane Reeves has spent more than thirty years seeking ways to develop a practice that brings more light, love and joy into the world. She is a yoga teacher and holistic life coach, who leads sacred yoga retreats in Italy.
We talk about how to be with our suffering, and how to begin a practice of Loving Kindness.
Heather Plett’s work is about holding space, for ourselves and for others. After years of work as a coach and writer, in March 2015 Heather wrote a blog post about what she learned about holding space by witnessing the palliative care nurse who supported her mom in her final days on earth.
This post went crazy viral. Read by millions of people and translated into many different languages, Heather turned inward to claim her work. Now she holds space for people’s growth, grief, healing, learning, and transformation. Heathers retreats, workshops and training programmes are consistently booked out. Her writing on the subject of holding space has appeared in Harvard Business Review and quoted in multiple books as well as curriculum for nurses, hospice care workers, yoga teachers, facilitators, and military chaplains.
Heather and I chat about how to hold space for ourselves: for the parts of us we struggle to be with, for our shame, grief and loss. How to ask for what you need in relationships and how to take care of yourself when it feels like the world is on fire.
Ali Shapiro is academically, practically, and empathetically aware of how the medical system, diet culture and body positivity movements all have their own flavour of crazy. Ali is the founder of Truce with Food®, host of the top-ranked podcast Insatiable, and her work is a mashup of her skills as a holistic nutritionist, integrated health coach and a natural rebellion that is completely infectious.
We talk about Ali's integrated and intersectional approach to living in a mysterious and magnificent body, in a world that wants to keep women small, nice and good.
Self-doubt can often feel like an amorphous cloud of doom, holding all our worst fears, worries and insecurities, just waiting to rain down on us. But what if Self-doubt had a pattern? What if there were themes and characteristics that make self-doubt understandable, quantifiable, perhaps even predictable?
I’ve spent most of this year play with these questions and in this first episode of season three, I share everything I know about the Archetypes of Self-doubt. I talk about my research process, how the archetypes took shape and what they are teaching me.
I also share how I am working with my inner 'compass' to subvert and interpret these patterns of how we experience and respond to self-doubt. This episode has been a year in the making - I can't wait for you to listen in!
Visibility is a key trigger of self-doubt. Taking up space - sharing our opinions, preference and beliefs can feel incredibly vulnerable and exposing. Many of us hide or wait until we feel ready, we lurk in various circles and groups, hoping to fly under the radar. For anyone with an online business, there can be a huge tension between needing to market and sell our work, and the need to protect ourselves from the vulnerability of visibility.
If this sounds familiar this episode is a massive permission slip-love letter-rallying cry to take up space.
Ray Dodd began her online empire after founding her own hypnobirthing company. She expanded the company and after a few years, grew her mission. Ray writes about how seeing women at both their most vulnerable and powerful, served as a compass to the next iteration of her work.
Now she runs a thriving business coaching practice helping mothers take up space, hold their vulnerability and power as they develop their new ventures. Ray is one of the best and funniest women on Instagram Stories. I love just how bloody real and human she is. Mostly, I love how she leads.
Kate O'Sullivan is a writer and photographer. She recently published a story about her experiences of healing from complex post-traumatic stress after leaving an abusive and controlling relationship. The reaction to Kate’s article led us to this conversation.
Many women who leave abusive relationships are still recovering years and often decades later. Many haven't accessed specialist help because they simply didn't know what was happening. And we know that there will be women listening who not yet safe, or having to maintain painful contact arrangements due to children. We also know that young women, especially a teenager in the first heady rush of love, may not recognise that they are experiencing coercive control.
We want to have this conversation in the hope that folks listening would feel less alone and that we can challenge the stigma and stereotypes around abuse and mental health that prevents successful survival.
Bari Tessler is a Financial Therapist, and Founder of The Art of Money. She has guided thousands of people to new, empowered, and refreshingly honest relationships with money through her nurturing, body-centered approach. Bari earned a Masters in Somatic Psychology from Naropa University and worked in body-centered therapy for over a decade before unexpectedly falling in love with bookkeeping systems and money work. Her unique methodology integrates these two worlds into deep money healing that honors all the facets of our money relationships: body to spirit, lineage to career, smart practices to deep visioning, and much more.
We talk about the stories we carry about money, how to talk about this and to begin a loving and supportive conversation with yourself and your partner. If money brings up your self-doubt this episode is a safe and supportive exploration of this often charged and uncomfortable subject.
Renee Magnusson is the creator of Adorn Sessions where she helps women to claim their very personal sense of style. This is SO much more than just what we choose to wear and in our conversation we talk about the power of talismanic pieces of clothing, how to channel your muses, why the 80s was the best decade for hair, and the 70s the best for silk kimonos. If getting dressed in the morning is traumatic, this episode is for you.
Mara Glatzel is an intuitive coach and writer who teaches women how to reclaim and celebrate their innate power and brilliance. Her work is so rich and deep and we have collaborated for years.
Mara guides women home to themselves, and believes that each and every one of us is the expert to our own experience of being a human on this planet – including how to become the vibrant, well nourished, LIT UP, creative, sexually charged, and tenderly ambitious human that you want to be.
We talk about the art and practice of how to belong to yourself. Especially if you feel so caught up in the opinions and ideas of your family, friends, colleagues or the culture at large, about who you are and what you are capable of. This is a rich and deep conversation about telling ourselves the ferocious truth, what self-compassion reallylooks like, and what unfolds when we are willing to trust ourselves. We also talk about the ingredients that makeup our shared, respectful and boundaried friendship for the last decade (where we have been disappointed by, felt envious of, loved and deeply supported each other).
Kyla Roma is a business strategist, mama of one tiny human, two dogs and a hedgehog called Ramona. Kyla has worked behind the scenes in hundreds of businesses, from six-figure brands to one woman shops and she was named by HuffPost in 2017 as one of 50 must-follow entrepreneurs.
We talk about how Kyla has kept evolving over the last decade of self-employment, how she has set up her business to support living with anxiety and depression and why we never have to compare our business to someone else's. Kyla also shares some amazing tips for how to create some strategic breathing room, in your business.
Marianne Elliott is an attorney, human rights advocate and author.
Her work has included developing human rights strategies for the governments of New Zealand and Timor-Leste and she served as a United Nations peacekeeper in Afghanistan with a focus on human rights and gender issues.
She also helped establish one of the best restaurants in Wellington, ran a thriving online yoga practice and wrote a memoir about her work in Afghanistan, called Zen Under Fire. And this was all before she founded Action Station, a disruptive and effective citizen-led force advocating for a fair and flourishing Aotearoa New Zealand.
Marianne is also a self-described introvert, with social anxiety and bouts of feeling like an imposter.
Her work is incredibly inspiring for anyone who feels you could do incredible things in the world if only you didn't have self-doubt. You don't have to wait!
Isabel Losada's latest book is Sensation an account of a year spent exploring the subject of sex, but especially pleasure for women in monogamous relationships. The book, part memoir and part manifesto in the cause for better relationships between men and women, has been praised for its honesty and humour.
This is a brave, funny and often vulnerable quest to find out how we can make our sex life blissful. On behalf of all women, slightly terrified, beginning with a women’s workshop where she has to get naked; Isabel journeys through the first international conference of clitoral stroking, is informed of eleven different forms of orgasm - ten of which she hasn’t had, endures NHS Kegel exercises and mystical sensations with tantric masters.
Irreverent yet open-minded, Sensation is both moving and challenging. For anyone who has ever been tempted to dip their toes in the deep waters of sexual exploration, Isabel Losada plunges you straight in.
More than 1 in 10 people are likely to have a ‘disabling anxiety disorder’ at some stage in their life. There are many internal and external factors that contribute to anxiety and many approaches to living with it.
I think talking about the day to day reality of living with anxiety is incredibly helpful. So if this is something you experience, this episode is just for you.
I’m speaking with Hannah Bullivant - a writer, mother, feminist and interior stylist who has lived with anxiety her whole life.
Comparion is known as the 'thief of joy' but I wanted to know more about what comparison actually is, if it has a purpose, what we can learn from it, and how we can get ourselves out of the ICK it creates.
So I read loads of original research about comparison and came up with a roadmap for escaping the comparison trap. Enjoy!
Jackee Holder is a coach, supervisor, published author and interfaith minister. Her passion for creative writing extends to a masters degree and her wildly popular online programmes and writers retreats. She is also the author of three books.
We talk about how Jackee has made sense of and meaning from her chaotic, traumatic and loving childhood through reading and journalling. Jackee shares how keeping a diary can be so much more than ruminations on daily events and can evolve into a therapuetic practice.
The Self-esteem Team is the UK’s leading mental health school-based programme. Founded in 2013 by Nadia Mendoza and Grace Barrett, the team have since worked with tens of thousands of young people, written a book approved by doctors, and continue to tirelessly tour the UK’s schools in their bid to equip young people with tools to navigate their mental health and build self-esteem.
Co-founder Grace Barrett and I chat about how we can help our kids, nieces nephews and the young people in our lives, to cultivate self-esteem.
Gemma David is a Chinese Medicine practitioner, Mindfulness teacher and is trained in mental health care. She owns The Quiet Heart, in the rocking city of Bristol. Gemma's ethos is about living in balance, within the body, and with the seasons.
We talked about how living in alignment with our bodies, the seasons, our planet and our values are the raw ingredients for cultivating self-belief. Plus: loads of top tips for taking care of yourself during Winter.
Randi Buckley is a coach and teacher who helps women facing big life decisions. Her programme Healthy Boundaries for Kind People is revolutionary work. Randi has spent decades coaching Fortune 5 companies, she worked at the Chopra Centre and once acted as a stand-in for Penelope Cruz. She is also the Assistant Dean at the Concordia Language Villages, a residential language- immersion program for youth in 16 different languages where she offers program-wide training, leadership and coaching to staff from over 30 countries.
Randi is one of the wisest people I know and I wanted to chat with her about where our two worlds intersect - where self-doubt meets personal boundaries. This is a practical, philosophical and (it ended up being) quite a personal conversation about how to create safety for ourselves in relationships. As most of us are about to spend prolonged time with our loved ones, this seemed like the perfect time to get together.
Rachael Lucas self-published her first book aged 40 and it went on to sell over 130,000 copies. She is now a best-selling novelist working on her fifth book and has just been nominated for a Carnegie Medal for her YA novel, The State of Grace.
Rachael is also a certified coach, mindfulness and meditation teacher, and a Reiki master teacher. She also happens to be a fabulous human and we connected earlier in the year on Instagram. With her photos of life by the seaside with her partner (who is also a writer) in a rambling Victorian house full of books, children, dogs, teapots and typewriters, Rachael had me at hello!
I also know that Rachael has an incredible story of resilience and tenacity in the face of self-doubt and I wanted to talk to her about how she got to here. For anyone who loves books and words and has a dream (like me) of 'one day' writing a book, this episode is just for you.
Self-doubt has a rather surprising kryptonite and it feels like a bit of a game changer. I first became aware of this when I was coding my research interviews for my Master's dissertation about Self-doubt a few years ago, but I am now feeling ready to nail my flag to this mast!
And because I am a huge fan of information that can be applied, I’ve taken this learning and turned it into an actual thing you can do today.
I’m going to talk a bit about how I discovered this, why I think it so useful and important, and then we’ll walk through how you can apply it right now.
You’ll find a worksheet to help you over at www.courageandspice.com
Rachael Maddox is a trauma resolution educator, coach and guide who’s helped hundreds of women and men resolve their sexual trauma and reclaim their pleasure, power and wholeness. In her first book, 'Secret Bad Girl' Rachael tells the story of her return to wildness, sensuality, health and embodied safety after a decade living under the trauma spell. Her next book, Sex After Trauma, publishes in 2018, and is written to help people navigate life between the sheets after they’ve been through the worst of it.
We discuss the #metoo campaign and how this might be impacting you right now, what happens when we have a trauma response and what to do to compassionately take care of yourself. There IS life after trauma and you can heal.
The first year for any heart-centred business is a huge source of self-doubt: taking our creations and services out into the world with no guarantee of success is a cape-worthy endeavour!
Up until recently, Kate Ferris was a marketing manager working with global brands. Now she runs her own business from her home in Snowdonia helping creative people find clarity and direction with marketing strategies that help their businesses grow with a bit of soul. Kayte and I talk about what the first year of self-employment is really like.
Kevin Braddock is the founder of Torchlight, a project that is all about how to ask for help. Kevin has over 20 years experience in print media as writer and editor and has worked for GQ, Esquire, The Face and The Guardian. Kevin’s story is both a personal account and a wake-up call about men's experience of mental health. This episode is one of incredible resilience, tenacity and compassion as Kevin shares his experience and how he is helping others through his work with Torchlight.
Allison Sadler is a creative entrepreneur, lifestyle blogger, designer, maker, stylist and mentor. With Her partner in all-things Mr C, she co-owns the award-winning People Shop in Birmingham. And she might just be the most fun person on the internet.
Allison recently started a hashtag project called #freeupyourinsta all about embracing imperfection and how to have fun and be yourself online. We dive deeply into this and have a fascinating conversation about what it means to be online. Enjoy!
If you work in a traditionally male-dominated industry, and you've ever felt undermined or overlooked at work, this episode is for you. There is a worldwide shortage of graduates in the STEM sector (this includes Science, Technology, Engineering and Maths). Women, black and ethnic minorities are under-represented, under-recruited and under-promoted in STEM roles. The reasons for this are both obvious and complex. Organisations like Equate Scotland, have a mandate to redress this balance and they are doing incredible work.
Allison Johnstone leads Equate Scotland's learning and development programme. She talks candidly and openly about women's experience in STEM, whats changing and why the issues are so much bigger than our self-doubt.
Sara Tasker is a gifted photographer and writer and she mentors other creatives through her ecourses and podcast: Hashtag Authentic.She now has 'The Official Blue Ticks of Validation' on both Instagram and Twitter!
In our conversation,Sara shares generously and openly about the realities of 'success' and what she is learning about both her self-doubt and her self-belief.
If you’ve ever walked into a meeting, or a networking event, or even a neighbour’s BBQ and felt the belly churning dread that at some point everyone here is going to find out who you really are, this episode is just for you. We are talking about the secrets and lies of feeling like an imposter. This is one of the more insidious aspects of self-doubt - this sense that underneath everything you are a fraud and you are just waiting to be found out.
In this episode, we talk about where this concept first arose, the misconceptions of it, and I share a process you can apply straight away to begin to shift your approach to feeling like an imposter.
Liz Keifer has been a professional actor for over 30 years as well as working as a Director and Acting Coach.
Liz played 'the girlfriend' on Happy Days, Family Ties, Cheers and 21 Jumpstreet and countless movies before securing the part of Blake Thorpe in soap opera Guiding Light where she stayed for 17 years.
Liz talks about her experience of the brutal audition process, trusting your own voice (while playing a role) and being fired from jobs. She shares what this has taught her about how to become rejection proof.
In this interview with Professor Tom Schuller about his latest book The Paula Principle, Tom talks about how and why women tend to work below their level of competence. This is where the systemic workplace culture, meets our own experience of self-doubt. A must listen for every employee!
In this first episode, I introduce myself, the intention of Courage & Spice and what the research tells us about the important purpose of self-doubt (yes, it has a use!). We talk about the relationship between our personal experience of self-doubt and what our culture stands to gain from our worries and fears. We also look at The Five P's, so you can uncover and name how you tend to respond to self-doubt.