A Literal Human Unicorn

Story by snowbunny.
Podfic and recipes by jenofithilien aka ransomdrysdale.
Illustrations by mspooslie.
Written for Another Stucky Big Bang 2020.

Bucky Barnes could deal with many things. Seventy years of torture by Hydra? No problem. Aliens invading New York? Also not a problem. But an actual walking – trotting – unicorn? Now that was way above his pay grade and he wanted nothing to do with it.

The reason was very simple. Unicorns were creatures of pure good, and Bucky was practically everything but that. In fact, with his bloody history in mind, the only attention he would get from the holy creature was a whole load of horse shit dumped on his face (if it didn’t trample him to death out of sheer disgust first).

Then one fine day, a tiny blond man named Steve suddenly showed up at the Avengers tower, armed with bright blue eyes and free samples of apple pie to celebrate the opening of his brand-new café. Steve was cheerful, sweet and kind, the definition of a literal human unicorn, and Bucky was about to find out just how literal that was.