The Doctor's Wife: Recent Episodes
Sara Payne
The podcast for doctors' wives.
You have sacrificed more than a decade supporting your husband in medicine--now it's your turn to rediscover yourself and conquer your goals.
Join host Sara Payne--life coach, doctor's wife, and mother of 4-- as she offers you weekly advice and tools that will help you become the person you were meant to become, both inside and outside the home.
This isn't a podcast about surviving, it's about thriving--it's your turn, friend!
Find more free resources at www.sarapayne.com and @sarapaynecoaching on Instagram and Facebook.
Welcome to the Rock Solid Relationships podcast. I'm your host, master certified relationships coach Sarah Payne. And if you are ready to have a rock solid marriage and create connecting relationships with the people that matter most to you, then you are in the right place. You welcome back to the podcast. Today we are going to be talking about what you want, your desires, and how to get what you want. I've been as I've mentioned before in the podcast, I've been reading this book called The Magic, and the magic is a metaphor or it's another name for gratitude, I should say, and it's really just changed how I view gratitude so profoundly. I've seriously given this book away to so, like, if you know me in real life, I've probably given you this book. It has transformed me that much. But one of the things that the author, Rhonda Byrne has you do is to write down your top ten desires. And so we're going to talk about that today. We're going to talk about how to figure out what your desires are and then how to get what you want. All right? And so first thing, before you can get what you want with your desires, you have to know what they are. And so many of us, I remember feeling this way a few years ago before I found coaching. Like, we don't even know what we want. And if that's you, then that's okay, because it just means that you haven't tapped into that in a while. I'm sure when you were five, you knew exactly what you wanted. And I'm sure when you were 15, you probably knew what you wanted. And somewhere along the lines, you just learned to put your desires aside. And so we're going to tap into them again. So I'm going to ask you a couple of questions to consider if you're in that boat, if you're like, I don't even know what I want. The first step is the only response that is not acceptable is I don't know. All right? I don't know is always a lie, and it always means that it's like a defense mechanism. It's like a way to protect ourselves from failure, from disappointment. And so in order to bypass I don't know, you just remind your brain, oh, yeah, that's the only answer that we don't accept. And then you ask yourself, if I did know, what would I want? And just allow your brain to come up with some answers. I have found that the emotion of jealousy is very useful in figuring out what I want, because if I'm jealous of somebody, it means that they have something that I want, and I just think I can't get it. So maybe you're jealous of your sister's marriage and the kind of tenderness with which she and her husband speak to each other. Or maybe you are jealous of your friend who just got back from a European vacation. Both of those are a window into your desires. You desire tender communication with your husband, and you desire to travel, maybe by yourself, maybe with your family. But there you go. Jealousy will help you know what you want. So after you figure out what you want, you're going to want to write it down. But the key to that, you're going to write this down in a different way than you normally would. You're going to write it down as if you've already received this desire. So instead of saying, I want a trip to Europe, you'd say, thank you, thank you, thank you, universe or God or whatever it is you believe in for the wonderful trip to Europe. We made memories to last a lifetime. Okay, so you're going to write as if it has already happened. Neville Goddard talks about this living from the wish fulfilled. Okay, so I know it's a little bit different than you probably have done in the past, but just trust me on this one. You want to write as if it's already happened, and then you want to go a step further. You can write all of this if it's useful for you. It's always useful for me to write things down, but just go with what works for you. You want to really engage your five senses in what it will be like when you have what you want. So that might look like let's take the example of the European vacation. I imagine the breeze blowing in my hair as we walk down the cobblestone streets of Italy. And I imagine people speaking Italian everywhere. And I look at my husband and I just smile. And I'm looking at my children, and they all have a different flavor of gelato. And they are just like in awe of this place, of Italy, and of everything that they're seeing. And maybe they're even like teasing one another and joking with one another. And my husband, who has been to Italy, so let's say that this is one of my desires, is telling us stories about when he was in Italy as a missionary for our church when he was 19 years old. And I can smell the Italian food as we walk down the street, and I can taste the pasta and the pizza, and you just really put yourself in the place. And I see the beautiful cathedral that was built 1000 years ago, and I just can't believe that that was created by human hands. See how I'm getting very specific about that desire and about what it would be like to experience it? Now here's the other thing. With your like, you can desire whatever you want. So there's no moral code on desires. If you want to desire world peace, then I applaud you, and that's amazing. But if you want to desire like, a souped up Ford Bronco like I do, that's okay too. All right. So if you can let go of the morality around your desires, then this activity will be a lot more fun. It reminds me of Tangled when Rapunzel is, like, singing in that bar about how she wants to see the lanterns, and that's, like, her dream, I think it's called, like, I have a dream or something like that. And then they turn to flyn Ryder, and they're like, what's your dream? And he's like, I want to be rested and alone on an island that I own, surrounded by enormous piles of money. If that is your dream, that's awesome. All right, so drop any moral attachments or labels that you have on your dreams. And then after you imagine yourself living them and engage your senses so that you can really feel it, you will be able to see that your body and your brain don't actually know the difference between you imagining it and it actually happening. It's amazing. This is why planning a vacation is so fun for some people, because they imagine themselves on the beach in Hawaii, or they imagine themselves at the lake house in the mountains. When you can imagine yourself, it's as if you are already there. And then after you do that, I want you to consider who is the first person you will tell when you receive that desire. Like, imagine yourself telling them. How do you tell them, and what do you say? What's the first great thing you do when you receive the desire? Include as much detail as you can in your mind. All right, so if one of your dreams is to have a dream car, like, let's take my desire to have a souped up Ford Bronco. I, like, imagine myself driving down the freeway with my Ford Bronco, my green Ford Bronco. And I imagine my son sitting in the passenger side, and I tell him that he can't drive. And I'm joking with him, but then I pull over and I hand him the keys, and I imagine telling Ryan that he's not allowed to drive it, but then I let him drive, too. And I imagine pulling it into the garage at night, and I imagine how fun it will be to take it to some of the outdoor places that are close to where we live. So I'm just like, living as if and I write it down, like, thank you, thank you. Thank you for the souped up Ford Bronco that I bought with my own money. In my business, it's so fun to drive. I love it. I love to spend time with my family in it. I love to climb the mountains of Colorado in it. See how I'm just, like, already there in my mind. And you get to do this ten times, all right? So you get to do this with your top ten desires. And after you do that, watch it happen, my friends. Watch it happen. Now, I recently pulled up. I like to read this list every day. But truth be told, I kind of got out of the habit of it a little bit. So I pulled them up recently and I was like, oh my goodness, I have to make a new list because so many of these desires have come to pass. One of the desires that I wrote down was to have a close connection with all of my siblings and their spouses and their children. And so I imagined sitting around my mom's kitchen table having important and loving conversations with each of my siblings and their spouses. And I imagined my sister has a son who's little and five. And I got down on his level and I imagined me just loving on my nephew and just talking to him about things that matter to him and giving him a fist bump and just maybe handing him a treat. And I just pictured what that would feel like in my mind to do that. And then I even imagined my sister out of the corner of my eye, she's watching us, and she's just so full of love and gratitude that her sister loves her son so much. So see how I picture it in my mind so very clearly. So let's take these steps one more time, all right? First, you figure out what your desires are. And no desire is off limits. I don't imagine you want to desire that somebody dies or something like that. Maybe just that, right? You don't want to harm people, but there's no moral compass for your desire. So if you're a flyn rider, go be Flynn Rider and imagine enormous piles of money on an island that you own, all right? So choose your desires. Don't spend too much time. This is not a headstone. We are not etching this in like stone here, all right? You can change these desires, okay? So don't focus so much on getting the desires right that you don't do this activity. This should only take you like 30 minutes tops. And then after you choose them, write them down as if they have already happened. Live from the wish fulfilled, as Neville Goddard says. After you do that, imagine yourself living them. Like, take some time here. Engage your senses. Feel it. Imagine yourself on that European vacation. Imagine yourself with the kind of marriage that you truly want, all right? And what that would be like. And then once you do that, you watch it happen. And then when it does happen, when your desires do come to fruition, you get to cross them off your list and feel so much gratitude. And then pick a different one. Listen, this works. This totally works. So much so that I've had to create multiple lists because my desires, not all of them, some of them I am still working on and are the same desires that I had when I did this activity for the first time. But so many of them have come to pass and become my reality. And it's so fun to live in that gratitude and to live in that space where you have the desire before it's even realized. Go do this, and then let me know how it goes. And if you want to start working together, you can find me at Sarah Payne coaching, and you can sign up for a consultation call, and we can work together on fulfilling your deepest, truest, biggest desires. Can't wait to work with you.
In this week's episode I teach you how taking 5 minutes each day to do this mindset exercise will change the trajectory of your day for the better. I do it each morning and my life is better because of it.
We have been told a lie my friends. We have been told that there is not enough time, or money, or that we are not enough. This message is all around us. That’s the scarcity mindset, that there is not enough. But in this episode, I want to talk about the sufficiency mindset. That we have enough for our needs. That we are enough. I’ll share with you some ways to change your thinking from a scarcity mindset to a sufficiency mindset. You’re not going to want to miss this one.
Inspiration Station: Unleashing the Soul of Money by Lynne Twist
Instagram: @sarapaynecoaching
Facebook: @sarapaynecoaching
For all of you in the messy middle, I’m talking to you today. And, really, that’s all of us because we are all in the middle of something, right? Have you ever woken up and just thought, “I don’t want to be me today”? This episode is of you. It’s easy to enjoy a hero’s journey when you know it will all work out, but the middle is sometimes long and unbearable and there’s no end in sight. Let me suggest three ways to make the middle of the journey as joyful as the end.
Inspiration Station: Making it Through the Middle by Emily Freeman
Instagram: @sarapaynecoaching
Facebook: @sarapaynecoaching
I think it's time to stop giving people the same label that we give poison. Listen to this week's episode to bend your brain about "toxic" people.
Instagram: @sarapaynecoaching
Facebook: @sarapaynecoaching
The only way to make lasting change is to remove judgment. Learn in this episode how to remove the layers of self-judgment so you can make the changes in your life you desire.
Instagram: @sarapaynecoaching
Facebook: @sarapaynecoaching
Do you want a better relationship with your kids but aren't sure where to start? Maybe they're disrespectful or distant or making choices you wish they wouldn't. This week's podcast will give you concrete ways to strengthen your relationship with them no matter what they are going through.
Instagram: @sarapaynecoaching
Facebook: @sarapaynecoaching
Our brain likes to be efficient so it categorizes and labels and generalizes things all day. This is very useful and conserves energy, but it can be problematic, especially when it comes to people and relationships. Learn how cognitive bias is affecting your life and how you can change it.
Instagram: @sarapaynecoaching
Facebook: @sarapaynecoaching
"I should be further along"
"I should just be grateful"
"I should give my husband the benefit of the doubt"
"I shouldn't complain about his job."
"I should be more patient with my kids"
The language of shame often begins with "should". Learn how to recognize it in your own life and see how it actually creates the opposite affect you are desiring. Then learn how to turn it around.
Instagram: @sarapaynecoaching
Facebook: @sarapaynecoaching
When we think of someone being entitled, we often think of children. But I’ve noticed that I sometimes feel entitled too. I feel like I shouldn’t be feeling this or this shouldn’t be happening. Or even this isn’t fair! But maybe, just maybe, there’s something you can learn from this. Entitlement is a powerful emotion but it isn’t a positive one. In fact, it feels pretty icky. Listen to this episode to see how to change the way you’re looking at things and stop feeling so entitled.
Inspiration Station: Small Group Coaching for Doctor’s Wives Only
Instagram: @sarapaynecoaching
Facebook: @sarapaynecoaching
If you find that you often worry about how other people are feeling---whether it's thinking, "How can I make sure my husband feels comfortable at my parents' house?" or "If only I could help my daughter feel less overwhelmed..." Then this podcast is for you. Listen in to learn how to take responsibility for the emotions you can control (your own) and how to release yourself of the things you can't control (other people's emotions).
Instagram: @sarapaynecoaching
Facebook: @sarapaynecoaching
Hi friends! Ever wonder which episodes of the More than a Doctor's Wife Podcast are the most downloaded? Wonder no more. Watch out for several encore episodes coming your way. Some are oldies and some are more recent. Each of them is worth a listen (or a re-listen). I hope you enjoy these greatest hits of the More Than a Doctor's Wife Podcast. I look forward to sharing some fun changes with you in the fall here at Sara Payne Coaching.
Instagram: @sarapaynecoaching
Facebook: @sarapaynecoaching
Most of us grew up in a culture that values hard work and effort. This week I teach you a principle I learned from Deepak Chopra that will give you a different perspective. I think you're going to love it.
Instagram: @sarapaynecoaching
Facebook: @sarapaynecoaching
"They have so much potential!"
This is something we say about those we love.
And it can be problematic. Learn on this week's episode when focusing on others' potential can be helpful...and when it can be harmful.
Instagram: @sarapaynecoaching
Facebook: @sarapaynecoaching
Moving my family from Montana to Colorado has given me the opportunity to learn some important lessons. On this week's episode, I share them with you.
Instagram: @sarapaynecoaching
Facebook: @sarapaynecoaching
We experience grief with the death of a loved one, but there is also grief whenever there is love and loss. Listen into this week's podcast as I share my very personal experience with grief over the last few months as my family and I prepare to move across the country. I hope it will be helpful to you in your own experience with grief.
Instagram: @sarapaynecoaching
Facebook: @sarapaynecoaching
Shame is the most human of all emotions but the least understood. It's an emotion that most of us go to great lengths to avoid. This week I teach you a different way to think about shame so that you can learn from it instead of run from it.
Instagram: @sarapaynecoaching
Facebook: @sarapaynecoaching
To trust or not to trust. Is that person trustworthy? Can I ever trust my husband after he lied or cheated on me? What about my teenager? They stole money from me, how can I ever trust them again? This week's episode dives deep into trust, and how, instead of focusing on trusting others, the real peace comes from putting your focus on trusting the most important person in your life: YOU.
Instagram: @sarapaynecoaching
Facebook: @sarapaynecoaching
I have a very important question for you. What do you want? The answer can be anything except “I don’t know.” In this episode, I talk about how to focus more on what you want your life to look like in order to get it. Your desires matter, so let’s talk about them.
I was recently a guest on the podcast Food Allergy Freedom for Moms with Chelsea Winterholler. We talked all about marriage and how working together in marriage can help you with your child's food allergy. And while not all of you might have a child with food allergies, I think the principles that we talked about are really applicable. So even though this interview was done for Chelsea's podcast, I found it so useful and insightful that I asked her if I could share it here. She agreed so this is a conversation that Chelsea, who's also a certified life coach, and I have about marriage. Enjoy!
Listen in to hear if group coaching is right for you. The next round of More Than a Doctor's Wife starts April 26th. Sign up here: www.sarapayne.com/mtadw-register.
Food is fun. Right? I think a lot of us feel that way. So when we think about weight loss, we think that it’s this negative thing. Today I’m speaking with Corey Pickett who coaches women who are members of The Church of Jesus Christ about weight loss. You don’t have to be a member of the LDS faith to find some great resources in this podcast. I invite you to listen and see if the way you think about food and weight loss changes along the way. Weight loss is possible for you even if you feel like you’ve tried everything. It’s all about how you look at failure.
You can find more information about Corey at:
Her website: coachingwithcorey.com
On Instagram: @coreypickettcoaching
Her podcast: Weight Loss for LDS Moms
I have come to realize just how powerful it is to be still. It can affect your life in the best ways possible. I invite you to listen as I explain to you the five lessons I’ve learned about stillness and why you might want to practice stillness too.
Emotions are the fuel that drive everything we do. They are not something to be brushed under the rug. I want to teach you some indicators so you can know if you’re allowing your emotions or resisting them. I am going to help you know the difference between resisting and allowing and how to allow your emotions.
Today’s episode was inspired by the book The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra. One of the spiritual laws is the Law of Giving. He says, “If you want to be blessed with all of the good things in life, bless everyone.” Let me show you how.
As human beings we try to avoid feeling uncertainty at all costs. In this episode, we’re going to talk about how you can feel certain in this uncertain world, and it’s probably in a way you haven’t thought of before.
If you ever feel like you swing from one negative emotion to another, the concept I teach you today will help ground you so you can get off that swing and feel more centered and calm.
I am excited to welcome Robyn Mons back to the podcast this week. This time, we’re going to be discussing conscious eating and how it is so much easier than following a set of rules or a plan that someone gives you. We are also going to talk about how becoming a conscious eater will not just affect the scale or what you put in your mouth, but is actually a vehicle for changing other areas of your life. Here’s a little teaser: When you become a conscious eater, you’ll learn how to stop people-pleasing. Enjoy this conversation with certified weightloss coach, Robyn Mons.
You can find Robyn Mons on Instagram and Facebook.
Today we are talking about belonging and feeling like you belong. Believing you belong is a basic human need, and we can all relate to feeling like we don't belong somewhere. Maybe there's an area in your life where you really feel like you don't belong. If so, this episode is for you.
This podcast is power packed full of goodness that will change your relationship with your teenagers. But the principles taught can apply to children of any age or even any relationship you have. Buckle up my friends! Let’s talk about parenting teenagers.
With my clients, I’ll often hear them say, “I'm just not motivated to…{fill in the blank}.”
“I'm just not motivated to exercise. I'm just not motivated to write that book that I've always wanted to write. I'm just not motivated after a long day of work myself to go grocery shopping, and so I end up just ordering a pizza or calling Uber Eats and eating things that don’t align with my health goals.”
Then they ask, “How do I get motivated?” Listen in for why that’s the wrong question to ask yourself.
Let's think about the labels that we put on ourselves and others that we think are truths. Labels like lazy, disorganized, control freak, or even “perfect”. Labels can be a way to disconnect from others.
So, how do we remove those labels from people around us? In this episode, I give you 3 steps to removing labels from those around us and ourselves.
Inspiration Station: Courage is Calling by Ryan Holiday
I want you to think about a conversation that at least part of you wants to have, but maybe there's this other part of you that's either scared or nervous about it and you’ve been avoiding it.
In this podcast, I’m going to share with you three steps you can take to have that conversation you’ve been avoiding. Sometimes I have conversations after I’ve gone through these steps and sometimes I don’t and I can tell you that when I take a moment to pause and clear out the clutter in my brain, I am never sorry I did it. And you won’t be either.
Inspiration Station: The song “Rescue” by Lauren Daigle
In this episode, I interview my friend and colleague, Dr. Caitlin Foss. She is a wealth of knowledge when it comes to emotions. Caitlin teaches you some new ways to process your emotions that you likely haven't heard before. And so if you find yourself from time to time or a lot of the time feeling stuck in your emotions, sometimes we call this being in a funk, then this episode is for you. Or if you find your kids being in that situation, you are going to be able to take away from this episode some tools that will help you to help yourself and to help them.
You can find Dr. Caitlin Faas at:
www.drcaitlinfaas.com/
On Instagram @drcaitlinfaas
Find her book Unstuck on Amazon
We all have a circle of control and a circle of influence. There is a big difference between the things you can control and the things you have influence over, and focusing on expanding your circle of influence instead of your circle of control will make all the difference. That’s what we’re talking about in today’s episode - what your circle of control is, who is in it and what a circle of influence is. Learn to loosen the reins on what you think you can control and expand what you can influence in this week’s episode.
Sign up for my free class on how to create an equal partnership in your marriage by going to www.sarapayne.com/webinar
In this episode, we're going to talk about manipulative people, and I am going to talk about it in a way that's probably different than you've ever heard before. If you have someone in your life who you feel is manipulative, this episode is going to be so useful to you. So, start thinking about someone you believe is being manipulative and listen to this podcast.
If you find that you often worry about how other people are feeling---whether it's thinking, "How can I make sure my husband feels comfortable at my parents' house?" or "If only I could help my daughter feel less overwhelmed..." Then this podcast is for you. Listen in to learn how to take responsibility for the emotions you can control (your own) and how to release yourself of the things you can't control (other people's emotions).
With the new year just around the corner, you are likely thinking about goals and things you want to accomplish. This podcast will be just what you need as you come up against some stumbling blocks and failures on your way to successfully accomplishing everything you want in 2023.
Inspiration Station: The Netflix special - The Mind Explained
Check out Kolette Hall at Kolettehall.com or on instagram @kolettehall
Let’s imagine that you’re feeling a negative emotion - like worry or stress or anger or resentment. Your brain wants to make it a big problem. You may even think, “I’m going to feel this way forever.” But the thing is, you aren’t going to feel this way forever. This too shall pass. When you’re feeling that this negative emotion will never go away, you often look for someone to blame. Like your husband or your kids. Riding the emotional wave would be so much easier. Because it will pass. In this episode, I am going to explain how knowing that any emotion will pass will help you in all of your relationships. Listen in!
Inspiration Station: The Netflix documentary Harry and Megan
I want you to think about something that you are telling yourself you HAVE to do. Maybe you HAVE to stay married to your husband because divorce is not an option, or you HAVE to have your kids in all of the activities, or you HAVE to eat a salad instead of the oreos you’re craving.
When we tell ourselves that we HAVE to do something, we’re taking away our agency and causing resentment towards whomever we perceive as the reason we HAVE to do that thing. Listen to this episode to get the 4 steps you need to take to stop telling yourself you HAVE to do something and to start giving yourself OPTIONS.
Enrollment for Doctors' Wives Only closes on Friday, December 9, 2022. Join here now to make 2023 the year you create a thriving medical marriage.
Join Doctors' Wives Only here. Enrollment is open until Friday, December 9, 2022. Coaching begins in January.
My lovely Doctor’s Wives, the doors are open for the Doctor’s Wives Only group coaching beginning in January 2023. In this episode, I spoke to Jackie, who is currently in Doctor’s Wives Only. She explained why she came to join us and what she’s gotten out of it. Let me just quote her for a moment. She said, “I’m proud of myself for betting on myself. I’m really grateful for the person who did it anyway.”
Isn’t that powerful? Doctor’s Wives Only isn’t a place to commiserate about your husband, it’s a place for you to grow. To make 2023 the year that you create a thriving medical marriage.
To sign up for Doctor’s Wives Only (January 2023), go to http://www.sarapayne.com/dwo-register
The doors close Friday, December 9, 2022.
Today's episode is a rare opportunity that you won't want to miss. I SHOW you the power of coaching as I coach one of my clients live on the podcast. Whether you have a health concern like Becca, or something completely different, you can take this coaching and apply it to whatever you are believing "won't get better" in your life. Learn more about Doctor's Wives Only by coming to the live class on December 5th, 2022. You can register at www.sarapayne.com/webinar.
In this episode, I’m talking to one of my group coaching clients about her experience in my program because if you’ve never been in group coaching, it’s kind of hard to explain.
Becca, my client, started out as a one-on-one client and had some reservations about group coaching. Listen in as we discuss how she feels about group coaching now.
If you have any questions about my group coaching program for Doctor’s Wives Only, this is the episode for you!
Being married to a doctor brings with it a unique set of challenges, especially to your marriage.
Challenges that most people outside the medical community don't understand.
If you've ever read a book about improving your marriage, or talked with a friend, or even gone to therapy and thought, "Sure, a date night every week would be great, but that will never happen with his job. I guess our marriage is doomed."
I want you to know that you are not alone.
And your marriage isn't doomed.
Join me on Monday, December 5, 2022 where I will teach you The 3 Secrets to a Thriving Medical Marriage.
They are simple and doable, and you'll be able to implement them right away and see noticable changes in your marriage.
Register for the online class at www.sarapayne.com/webinar.
A thriving medical marriage is right around the corner for you.
If you've ever thought "I have to be a little bit mean to myself or I'd never get off the couch."--Then this episode is just for you. There IS a way to accomplish the things you want to accomplish WITHOUT telling yourself that you are lazy, or disorganized, or not a motivated person. Listen in to learn why it's a lie our brain tells us that being unkind to ourselves helps us accomplish more.
Being married to a doctor brings with it a unique set of challenges, especially to your marriage.
Challenges that most people outside the medical community don't understand.
If you've ever read a book about improving your marriage, or talked with a friend, or even gone to therapy and thought, "Sure, a date night every week would be great, but that will never happen with his job. I guess our marriage is doomed."
I want you to know that you are not alone.
And your marriage isn't doomed.
Join me on Monday, December 5, 2022 where I will teach you The 3 Secrets to a Thriving Medical Marriage.
They are simple and doable, and you'll be able to implement them right away and see noticable changes in your marriage.
Register for the online class at www.sarapayne.com/webinar.
A thriving medical marriage is right around the corner for you.
Recently, I’ve spoken to several friends who have social anxiety and feel like the only way to deal with it is to medicate themselves or just not go out. Those aren’t the only two options. So, in this episode, I want to share with you four steps that you can take when you’re feeling anxious in social situations. Listen to this week’s episode if you have social anxiety or know someone who does.
In this episode, I’m talking to fellow life coach Chelsea Winterholler. Chelsea coaches moms who have children with food allergies. Now, you may be thinking, “I’ll just skip this one because my child doesn’t have a food allergy,” but I encourage you to listen because we address fear in this episode. And what mom doesn’t have some fear about their child? What woman doesn’t have fear about someone they love? Listen in as we discuss what brought Chelsea to coaching and what she has learned in the journey.
Find Chelsea at:
Her on Instagram at Winterholler Coaching
Her podcast is Food Allergy Freedom for Moms
The title of this podcast may have your stomach turning a bit. I know it did mine. I want to assure you that I’m not asking you to get rid of any morals at all, but I am asking you to question what is “right” and what is “wrong” because we often get stuck in a decision when we want to know the “right” answer. Take weight loss for example. What is the “right” answer in order for you to lose weight? There is no one “right” way to lose weight. There are a lot of “right” ways. So let’s look at that gray area in between “right” and “wrong” and see what is motivating us to need the “right” answer.
I have often heard from people that the relationship between mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws is complicated. But it doesn’t have to be. In this episode, I’m talking with LeAnn Austin about how to improve that relationship with your daughter-in-law or mother-in-law. Even if you don’t yet have an in-law, this podcast will help you with all of your relationships, it’s a great listen.
Here’s where you can find LeAnn:
www.leannaustin.com
Instagram: @LeAnnAustinCoaching
Facebook: LeAnnAustinCoaching
Podcast: Love Tidbits with LeAnn Austin https://leannaustin.com/podcast/
Take a look at her website or Instagram to get the one question that will greatly improve your relationship with your daughter-in-law.
I have often heard from people that the relationship between mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws is complicated. But it doesn’t have to be. In this episode, I’m talking with LeAnn Austin about how to improve that relationship with your daughter-in-law or mother-in-law. Even if you don’t yet have an in-law, this podcast will help you with all of your relationships, it’s a great listen.
Here’s where you can find LeAnn:
www.leannaustin.com
Instagram: @LeAnnAustinCoaching
Facebook: LeAnnAustinCoaching
Podcast: Love Tidbits with LeAnn Austin https://leannaustin.com/podcast/
Take a look at her website or Instagram to get the one question that will greatly improve your relationship with your daughter-in-law.
For so many, resentment is a familiar choice. It feels so much more powerful than guilt--so we make it our go-to emotion. Especially for us doctor’s wives who are so used to doing so much on our own. But I have good news for you--resentment and guilt are not your only options. In this episode, I want to show you how to break this cycle. How to retrain your brain because resentment isn’t actually powerful, it’s a powerless emotion because with resentment, someone else has to change in order for you to feel better.
Think about how you reacted the last time your husband got defensive. Maybe you said to him, “It would have been really nice if you had come to the soccer game today.” And once you say that, you can see that he puts his guard up. Think about what you did in that situation. If you’re like me, you do one of two things--either try to “fix” it, or get defensive right back. In this podcast, I share with you 5 questions to ask yourself when your husband gets defensive. And none of them have to do with “fixing it” or with getting defensive yourself.
If you haven’t had a chance to listen to Episode 205, I’d highly recommend you doing that. It’s about what to do when YOU feel defensive. You don’t have to listen to them sequentially, but do listen to them both!
I want you to think about the last time you felt defensive. Maybe your husband questioned something you did, or your mother-in-law made a comment about how lucky you are to be married to him, or your child told you that you loved their sibling more than you love them. Whatever it was, I want you to think about that and how it made you feel. In this episode, I talk about the 4 steps to take the next time you feel defensive. It’s human to feel that way, but I’ve found these steps help me get through it instead of feeling crummy about it.
If you’ve been listening for a while, you’ve probably heard about my Take your Turn Strategy Sessions, but you might not know exactly what that means or how they work. So in this episode, I am going to share with you what the Take your Turn Strategy Session looks like, why it’s the best use of 30 minutes of your day, and, I’ll likely answer a few questions that you may be having about them.
Are you ready to sign up for one? Go to https://sarapayne.com/work-with-me/
I’ve been pondering this subject for a while now, my friends. In this episode, I want to talk to you about how you are not your kid’s choices. That your value as a person has nothing to do with what they choose to do or not do. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about teaching values, but they get to choose what they learn from what you teach. I want to share with you 4 things that will help you separate yourself from your children’s choices so you can show up as a better mom for them and a happier person for yourself.
Inspiration Station: A Walk in my Shoes by Ben Schilaty
This has happened to all of us. Someone you love is offended by something you say or do and even though you’ve apologized, they refuse to forgive you. Learn how you don’t have to wait for them to forgive you to find the peace that you seek. In this episode, I’m going to share with you 3 steps to release that burden from your heart.
Inspiration Station: Multiply Goodness on Instagram
Today I want to talk about what a transactional relationship looks like and what we can do to have a non-transactional relationship. First, what is a transactional relationship? We all have transactional relationships with our hairdressers, or the person who cleans our house. They do something for us and we give them something back. But when it comes to our marriages, we don’t want to do that, do we? So today I’m going to share with you 3 ways to have a non-transactional relationship. You’re going to want to listen to this one.
Inspiration Station: Law of Love by Steve Young
With this being my 200th episode, I wanted to give you a little gift. So, today I’m going to share with you 3 steps to thinking something new. Normally, I would only teach these steps to my clients, but since I want to help all of you, I want to ask you, do you have a thought running through your head that causes you to feel a negative emotion? Is it time to change it? That’s what these 3 steps can do for you. Even if that thought is really believable.
Inspiration Station: If you have a goal, or a desire, or something you want to do, it just takes tiny steps to accomplish it.
In this episode, I want to share with you the 4 ways to get the most out of this podcast. This is the only source of information like this for Doctor’s Wives, and because you are my people, I want to help you as much as possible!
In this episode, I share the 4 most downloaded episodes of my podcast. They are episode 2, episode 85, episode 110, and episode 154.
Inspiration Station: Jordan Davis - Next Thing you Know
Today, I want to talk about our kids. I know that we all love our kids so much! I hear from so many of my clients and those who listen to my podcast that they are worried about their children and the choices they’re making. In a perfect world of your choosing, everything would go exactly as it should, right? You and your husband would always be on the same page when parenting. You would get pregnant exactly when you wanted to. Your child would meet, or beat, each milestone. They would never make a wrong decision. And then you could be peaceful and happy. But that doesn’t happen, does it? So, how do we see our children in a different light so that when they make decisions we don’t like, we can still be at peace? In this episode, I’m going to share with you 3 ways you can see them in a different light and find that peace that you crave.
Inspiration Station: Dad, I Wrote a Book About You on Amazon. You can find a bunch of different choices here.
Let’s talk about goals today! What are your outlandish, impossible goals that you have for yourself? So, are your goals measurable? I just set a HUGE goal for my business. When I look at that goal, it scares me, but it also excites me. I will know if I meet that goal because I’ve made it very measureable, but if I don’t meet that goal, I have decided that I am not going to beat myself up about it. I am going to become the type of person who loves myself, even when I don’t achieve my goals. Are you going to join me?
Inspiration Station: CeraVe Ultra-Light Moisturizing Lotion - it has a high SPF without smelling like sunscreen or being greasy. Find it here on Amazon.
Today I want to share with you the most powerful word in the English language. It’s more powerful than the word “love.” It’s more powerful than the word “sorry.” And it can help you in your relationship with yourself, with your spouse, with your children, and with the world in general. Want to know what it is? Listen to this week’s podcast to find out!
Inspiration Station: The song Symphony by Imagine Dragons
We have been told a lie my friends. We have been told that there is not enough time, or money, or that we are not enough. This message is all around us. That’s the scarcity mindset, that there is not enough. But in this episode, I want to talk about the sufficiency mindset. That we have enough for our needs. That we are enough. I’ll share with you some ways to change your thinking from a scarcity mindset to a sufficiency mindset. You’re not going to want to miss this one.
Inspiration Station: Unleashing the Soul of Money by Lynne Twist
Do you create hierarchies? We all do. It sounds like, people with more money are better than people with less money, but also they’re worse because people with more money are greedy and people with less money are humble. Or moms who don’t let their children have screen time are better than moms who do but also worse because they’re not preparing their kids to live in this world that’s full of technology. It’s natural to try to put people in a box, but you can notice when you’re doing it and change that. Listen to this week’s episode to find out how.
Inspiration Station: Top Gun: Maverick - go see it! Also, definitely download the song by One Republic called “I Ain’t Worried.” It was playing during the football scene. Such a good movie and such a feel good song.
In this world we live in, there are so many ways to disconnect from your body. Scrolling through Facebook, eating things that don’t fuel your body, or drinking alcohol, just to name a few. But connecting to your body is a way to process the emotions you are feeling. It’s a choice that you can make any time you feel a negative emotion. In this episode, I’d like to share with you an exercise to reconnect with your body. It is short and sweet, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t powerful. Listen to this episode to find out how to do the 5 Senses Activity.
Inspiration Station: An advanced certification I’m taking called Trauma Informed Coaching taught by Candice Toone. If you are a certified life coach with the Life Coach School, I highly recommend taking this certification. You can find out more at www.candicetoone.com
In this episode, I’m sharing with you the thoughts that make my life easier when it comes to the relationships in my life. Listen to hear what thoughts I think about my husband, my kids, and myself that make things go smoother for me in my life. If they work for you too, you can apply them to your life.
Inspiration Station: Peloton instructors Cody Rigsby @codyrigsby and Sam Yo @yoiamsamyo on instagram.
What is your money story? Do you tell yourself that you aren’t good with money? Have you always thought that when your husband made more, you’d save more, but you just spend more instead? All of these, and more, are ways we think about money. But what if we question all of those things? In this episode, we take a look at what we’re told about money and the different ways to look at it.
Inspiration Station: A review of my book I Did All of That for This?
Have you ever wondered whether you’re doing something out of obligation or out of responsibility? Things like taking your kids to their basketball camp every day. Or joining your husband in his hobby. Or taking dinner to that neighbor who just had a baby. In this episode, we’re going to talk about how to check your emotions and know whether you’re doing this out of obligation or responsibility. And once you know, then you can choose to not do those things that you feel obligated to do.
Inspiration Station: An Early Resurrection by Adam Miller
We as humans have a desire to grow and to evolve. It’s part of our DNA. I believe it’s part of our spiritual DNA - something that we inherited from our Heavenly Parents. But why do we sometimes feel resentment about our desires? Resentment feels like a powerful emotion, but is it really resentment we’re feeling? Listen to this week’s episode to find out what is actually lurking under the surface when we’re feeling resentment about our desires.
Inspiration Station: I want to share with you a couple of Instagram accounts that I follow that always bring a smile to my face. The first one is Trey Kennedy (https://www.instagram.com/treynkennedy/) . The second one is the Johnson Files (https://www.instagram.com/johnsonfiles/). Both are clean comedy and I think you’ll get a kick out of them!
I recently had an experience with a child that made me think about the difference between helping and fixing. Helping someone is something we do when they ask for it. Fixing is something we do to make ourselves feel better. And if you listened to last week’s podcast, you’ll know that control is just a way to make ourselves feel better. So, listen to this episode and find out how to notice when you’re trying to fix things for someone else to make yourself feel better and what you can do instead.
Inspiration Station: Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown
As human beings, we crave certainty. We want to feel a sense of control because then we can feel safe. Sometimes we think that controlling other people will give us that sense of safety. “If I could just get my husband to support me more, then my life would be so much easier!” or “If I could just get my child to stop being so anxious, then I wouldn’t worry so much about them and I’d feel better!” And you might be right. Your life might be easier if that were the case. I don’t know how to change the people in your life, but I do know how to teach you to feel the way you want to feel without controlling them. Listen to this week’s episode to see just how you don’t have to control others in order to find your way to real contentment.
Do you know what mental gymnastics are? Even if you haven’t heard the name before, I you might be jumping through some hoops in your marriage. Sometimes people say that it’s looking on the bright side. What could be wrong with looking on the bright side of things? Well, you see, there’s a difference between looking on the bright side and trying to avoid an unpleasant conversation. Listen to this episode to hear what we should be asking ourselves to make sure that our mental gymnastics is a good thing.
Do you remember when you were a little kid and you didn’t want to eat your broccoli and your mom said, “There are starving children in the world so you should feel lucky to have that broccoli!” This is a form of comparative suffering. (Love to all you moms and grandmas out there!) We say to ourselves that we shouldn’t be feeling this way because someone has it worse than we do. Or, even the flip side. Someone shares with us what they’re going through and we think, Really? Why are they even complaining about this? I have it so much worse.
Comparative suffering doesn’t take away the pain of another person, it just adds to our own. listen to this week’s episode to learn what we can do instead and how doing that will help us with ourselves and those around us.
When we think of someone being entitled, we often think of children. But I’ve noticed that I sometimes feel entitled too. I feel like I shouldn’t be feeling this or this shouldn’t be happening. Or even this isn’t fair! But maybe, just maybe, there’s something you can learn from this. Entitlement is a powerful emotion but it isn’t a positive one. In fact, it feels pretty icky. Listen to this episode to see how to change the way you’re looking at things and stop feeling so entitled.
Inspiration Station: Small Group Coaching for Doctor’s Wives Only
Most of us believe that negative emotions mean something has gone terrible wrong. What if that’s not true? Listen to this episode to find out how to use your negative emotions to your advantage. And remember, emotions are information, not emergencies.
Inspiration Station: The movie “Hoosiers”
Has this ever happened to you? You have a great family dinner planned and your husband either calls to say he’s going to be late or doesn’t call at all. And you feel frustrated and angry but then you tell yourself that you shouldn’t be frustrated and angry because [fill in blank]. Emotions may be caused by chemicals in your brain but that doesn’t mean you can control them. In this episode, we talk about how to be kind to ourselves when we have negative emotions because, unlike Disney promised, we don’t always live happily ever after.
Inspiration Station: The Peter Potential by Emily Belle Freeman and David Butler
Let’s talk today about why you avoid your emotions. Now first, friends, I want to make sure you know that avoiding emotions doesn’t make you bad, or weak, it makes you human. But let’s get curious about why we try to avoid our emotions, what that looks like when we do, and, if we want to, how we can stop avoiding our emotions. As we see ourselves from a different angle, we can work towards taking away those negative consequences we experience from trying to avoid our emotions. Listen today!
Inspiration Station: My new book, I Did All of That for This?
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to work with a life coach? Since you’re listening to this podcast, my guess is that you’re at least a little intrigued. So today, I want to talk you through what it’s like to work with me. And if you’re more than a little intrigued by the idea of working with me, I invite you to go to www.sarapayne.com/work-with-me and sign up for a consultation call. Just like you go to a dentist for routine care before the root canal, I can help you through the everyday things or the really tough times. I can’t wait to talk to you.
Inspiration Station: “Let it Be” by the Beatles
For all of you in the messy middle, I’m talking to you today. And, really, that’s all of us because we are all in the middle of something, right? Have you ever woken up and just thought, “I don’t want to be me today”? This episode is of you. It’s easy to enjoy a hero’s journey when you know it will all work out, but the middle is sometimes long and unbearable and there’s no end in sight. Let me suggest three ways to make the middle of the journey as joyful as the end.
Inspiration Station: Making it Through the Middle by Emily Freeman
This subject we're talking about today is a tender one. I know it's sensitive for a lot of us. But I also think it's important to talk about. We all struggle with body image. I don't know how you can't being a woman growing up in our current society. We are bombarded with a specific standard of what our body should look like and everything else is unacceptable. You can love your body NOW, and change it if you want to. If you hate yourself towards a goal, you're not going to magically love yourself once you get to that goal. So let's talk about how to stop hating your body and start loving it. Just the way you are today.
Inspiration Station: The King Richard movie starring Will Smith, Serena Williams, Venus Williams, etc.
In this episode, I want to share with you a chapter from my new book, I Did All of That for This? (available on Amazon). The chapter I share on resentment is one that I think will really resonate with many of you. You can even read it with your husband if you want--and introduce him to thought work--then it’s ME telling him about a different way to think instead of YOU.
So, let’s talk about resentment, what that looks like in your marriage relationship, and how it might be keeping you from creating connection in your marriage.
Have you noticed that sometimes it’s difficult to be happy for someone when something good happens to them? Why is that? I think it’s because we’re looking at it from a scarcity mindset - that will never happen to me - when we could be looking at it from a different perspective - now we know that it’s possible! Listen to this week’s episode as I talk about how to be happy when good things happen to other people.
Inspiration Station: I Did All That for This?!: The Spouse’s Guide to Creating a Thriving Medical Marriage by Sara Payne
As I’ve worked with doctor’s wives over the past years, I have found that there are three common pitfalls that almost all of us fall into. Today I want to share with you one of those pitfalls. Because I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships lately and how important our marriage relationship is to us and our lives. And because I believe that strong medical families change the world, I want to talk about how to avoid this common pitfall in your medical marriage. Listen today!
Inspiration Station: Learn how to recognize and avoid the common pitfalls in medical marriages by watching this workshop: https://mailchi.mp/ff1809d79b1e/commonpitfallsworkshop
I used to think that resentment was based in anger. Anger that my husband spent so much time at work. That he spent so much time with his patients. But what I’ve come to realize is that resentment is actually based in envy. Envy that my husband has something outside of the house that I don’t. In this episode, I talk about resentment and how to look at it, get curious about it, and get over it.
Inspiration Station: Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown
Safety is a prerequisite for change. If you have goals you want to accomplish or habits you want to change, this podcast is a must. I want to share with you how to accomplish what you want to accomplish without beating yourself up. You can’t hate yourself thin. You can’t get yourself to wake up earlier by calling yourself a slug. These aren’t ways to accomplish your goals. So in this episode I’m going to share with you my 3 S’s for creating a safe space for yourself. If you’re ready to accomplish your goals and enjoy doing it, this is a must!
Inspiration Station: I Did All That for This? The Spouse’s Guide to Creating a Thriving Medical Marriage by Sara Payne
Do you ever find yourself frustrated with someone? Of course you do. We all do. We’re all human. But what if you look at that thing that is frustrating you and think, Where can I find this quality in myself? How is this person just like me? It’s a powerful way to look at the world. Listen to this episode to find out how to do that.
Inspiration Station: Better Than Happy by Jody Moore
In this episode, I’m speaking with a fellow life coach, Mindy Neal, about how to create unity in your blended family. I don’t normally have two interviews in a row, but I just couldn’t wait to share this with you. Mindy talks about how she created unity in her blended family after realizing that she was drowning in pain. Now, if you’re not in a blended family, don’t skip over this one. There is plenty of information that you could use in any relationships you’re having. This is a good one doctor’s wives!
You can find Mindy Neal at:
Instagram: @mindynealcoaching
Website: www.mindynealcoaching.com
Or download her free masterclass about how to create unity in your blended family without anyone else having to change at www.blendedfamilyunity.com
In this episode, I talk to a former client of mine about forgiveness. She came to me after struggling with something for many years. She didn’t know how to stop feeling hurt and angry at the person and what happened. She felt like this shouldn’t have ever happened. She not only blamed this person who had betrayed her, but also herself for “allowing” it to happen. Through the power of coaching, she found a way to truly forgive this person. No matter what it is that you need to forgive someone for, this is a powerful episode on how freeing it is to finally do it. Sometimes you need an outside perspective to help you forgive someone in your life. I can be that person for you. Sign up for a consultation at sarapayne.com/work-with-me.
Would you like more unity in your marriage? Unity doesn’t mean always agreeing. In this week’s podcast you’ll learn 5 ways to create unity in your marriage TODAY without having to agree on everything.
In this episode, I want to teach you how to believe that everyone is doing the best they can. I know, I know. I can hear you saying, ‘Really? That guy who just cut me off in traffic and then flipped me off is doing the best he can?’ Yes, yes he is. The truth is, sometimes their best really stinks. Believing people are doing the best they can will strengthen all of your relationships. And do you want to know the best part? Once you can believe this about other people, it’s so much easier to believe it about yourself as well.
Inspiration Station: 52 Modern Manners for Today’s Teen by Brooke Romney
Ever wake up and wish you were anyone but yourself? When your
brain is running on overdrive, pointing out all the things that it thinks are wrong with you? I do. If you have ever or are going through something similar, this podcast is my love letter to you.
Inspiration station: This podcast was inspired by Olivia Rodrigo’s song “Jealousy” and Pink’s
song “I’m a Hazard to Myself”
I used to hate Januarys. The cold, the snow, blah blah blah. But I look at Januarys differently now. Now they’re a time to look back at the past year and look forward to the new year. So let’s talk about motivation to do those things that you want to change in 2022. I’ll tell you a secret, motivation is highly overrated. Listen to this episode to find out what we really need to achieve our goals in the new year.
Inspiration Station: Sing 2 Soundtrack - I Still Haven’t Found What I’m looking for with Scarlett Johanssen and Bono
Do you have a relationship in your life that needs a little work? In this episode, I want to share with you three relationship hacks that you can start practicing today to improve those relationships. These can definitely help your marital relationship, but they can also help with other people in your life like your friends, your parents, even people you don’t know in real life. What if 2022 were the year where you created those relationships in your life that you really want? What would that look like?
Do you find yourself always trying to be happy? When we tell ourselves we should be happy (and we’re not) it actually makes us so unhappy. What happens when we stop resisting the part of life that is hard, we suddenly feel so much better. It’s so ironic. Thinking we should be happy makes us sad, and telling ourselves it’s ok to be sad allows for less sadness. I wish I could insert a mind blowing emoji right here. Listen to the rest of this episode to find out what that looks like to just be ok with being unhappy sometimes.
Inspiration station: Gratitude journal by Sophia Godkin “The 5 Minute Gratitude Journal”
In the last episode, we talked about how to be a better listener, but there just wasn’t enough time to cover it all so today is part 2 of how to be a better listener. We talk about why listening is so important and why it is something that we can learn. But I don’t want you to beat yourself up about this. Try loving yourself instead and then you can share that love with others as you learn to be a better listener.
INSPIRATION STATION:
You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters by Kate Murphy
Do you want to be the type of person who can talk to anyone? I have a secret for you. It’s not really about talking at all, it’s about listening. So, how do you become a better listener? In this episode, I share with you what I learned about listening from the book You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters by Kate Murphy. This book has changed my life and I know that it will be useful to you in all of your relationships.
Inspiration Station:
You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters by Kate Murphy
In this episode I’m talking to my good friend and master certified life coach, Candice Toone about relationships. Learn what it means to have both rupture and repair in your relationships and how the rupture can strengthen your bond when you know how to repair it. Listen in while we share the 3 things we’ve learned from each other about relationships, each of which can be applied to any relationship that is important to you.
In this episode, let’s talk about resistance. What does it mean to be in resistance? And what does acceptance look like? Listen to this week’s episode to learn how to reframe your thinking and how to get to acceptance and peace in your life.
Inspiration Station: You have to check out this New York Times article called 36 Questions that Lead to Love. These questions can help you have a deeper, more meaningful discussion with your husband, rather than the normal, “How was your day?”
We’ve all felt it, the mom guilt. But in this episode, let’s talk about what is really behind that mom guilt you feel, how it’s getting in the way of being the mom you want to be, and how you can choose to parent from a completely different perspective.
Inspiration Station: New song by One Republic called Sunshine. Check it out. Music is giving me life right now.
I think it's time to stop giving people the same label that we give poison. Listen to this week's episode to bend your brain about "toxic" people.
I HATE being misunderstood. It's the worst. But it doesn't have to be a terrible experience when you learn how to understand YOURSELF--it becomes easier to allow people to be wrong about you.
Let's talk about sex today, shall we? Listen in for an open, honest, vulnerable conversation with sex coach Amanda Louder and learn how to accept and even embrace your sexuality.
Most of us know that failure is part of learning and growing, but we often send mixed messages about failing to our children. Learn how to create a safe space for your children to fail so they can learn and grow.
The only way to make lasting change is to remove judgment. Learn in this episode how to remove the layers of self-judgment so you can make the changes in your life you desire.
Whether it's parenting the kids, how often you think you should be having sex, or where you go to dinner---being on the same page as your husband is easier said than done.
This week's episode will teach you how to look at disagreeing in a completely different way that you've likely never thought of before.
This week's episode is my love letter to women everywhere, especially you who are married to doctors. It's for you to listen to whenever you forget to remember how great you are.
Do you want a better relationship with your kids but aren't sure where to start? Maybe they're disrespectful or distant or making choices you wish they wouldn't. This week's podcast will give you concrete ways to strengthen your relationship with them no matter what they are going through.
As women, most of us are striving to achieve balance, but we don't even know what that is. What if we are striving for something that doesn't even exist? Listen to this week's podcast as I debunk the "balance" ideal and help you consider striving for something much better instead.
Our brain likes to be efficient so it categorizes and labels and generalizes things all day. This is very useful and conserves energy, but it can be problematic, especially when it comes to people and relationships. Learn how cognitive bias is affecting your life and how you can change it.
We are taught in school to make the honor roll. Get good grades. Don't fail. But this line of thinking keeps us from setting big goals (because we can't possibly fail!). Learn in this week's episode the secret about failure that no one taught you in school.
Most of us were taught that it is good to forgive. But how do we do it? How do we let go of the pain of the past? This week's episode will teach you the "How" of forgiveness, whether it's something that happened yesterday or 25 years ago.
Sometimes in an effort to not be arrogant, we put ourselves down and diminish ourselves. Learn in this week's episode how "overly confident" isn't a real thing and that working to develop your confidence will help you share your work with the world.
Comparing ourselves to others. We all do it. And we know it's "the thief of all joy". But it's so hard to stop. What if instead of wishing you didn't compare yourself to others, you could instead learn more about what you really want by understanding when you compare yourself to others. Learn in this week's episode just how to do that.
If you've ever believed you aren't good at making friends or you want to have more meaningful friendships in your life, this podcast must not be missed.
Learn how mental exhaustion is contributing to your physical exhaustion and what you can do about it.
So often we put our lives on holding waiting for something to change:
for our loans to be paid off.
for our kids to grow up.
for our husband to appreciate us.
for our body to shed those pounds.
Learn how to live NOW instead of waiting for things to change before you allow yourself to create the life you want.
Join me as I interview life coach and widow Kolette Hall as we talk about how she opens up to grief with love and compassion for herself and has taught her son to do the same.
Learn more about Kolette and her book, Messy Victories, at kolettehall.com
"We've always had a rocky marriage"
"I've never understood my oldest child"
"I've never been good with money"
All of these beliefs are focused on the past. It's a terrible place to live. If you want to create a different future then you have to stop living in your past. Listen to today's podcast to find out how.
"I should be further along"
"I should just be grateful"
"I should give my husband the benefit of the doubt"
"I shouldn't complain about his job."
"I should be more patient with my kids"
The language of shame often begins with "should". Learn how to recognize it in your own life and see how it actually creates the opposite affect you are desiring. Then learn how to turn it around.
Selfie mode is when we focus on ourselves and all of our perceived flaws. It robs us of connection with ourselves and others.
Listen to this week's podcast to know when you are in selfie mode and how to flip your focus and view to create love and connection.
"I'll do it tomorrow"
"I'm just not a morning person"
"It's too hard"
"One more won't matter"
All of these thoughts give us permission to give up on what we want most in favor of what we want in the moment. This podcast will teach you how to notice these thoughts and talk to your brain more than you listen.
Our brain loves to categorize things as good or bad, right or wrong, healthy or unhealthy, fair or unfair. This can be efficient but also very problematic, especially when it comes to people and relationships. Learn how to spot black or white thinking in your relationships and some questions to ask yourself when you want to get out of it.
Learn why the word "try" is so disempowering and how to speak about your goals in a different way.
Join me as I interview the calendar queen, Master Certified Life coach Lauren Cash where we discuss problematic thinking like "There's not enough time!" as well as how to stop procrastinating and create more time for the things you really value.
Do you beat yourself up when you make mistakes? Does your brain offer you a lot of negative self talk?
It can feel productive and even necessary to do this, but it actually has the opposite effect on your ability to change and grow.
Listen in for how to love yourself through mistakes.
Do you get defensive when talking to your husband or other loved one? Do you want to feel more calm but don't know how to do it? This week's episode will teach you why you're defensive and how to say what you think without putting your armor up.
If you've ever felt at the mercy of your emotions, this episode it especially for you. Learn how to narrate what you're feeling instead of reacting to it. It's a game-changer.
Ever wonder why you fly off the handle some days and lose your cool over the slightest inconvenience?
There's nothing wrong with you or your life--listen to this week's podcast to find out what's going on in your brain and what to do when you throw a grownup fit.
Have you noticed you have perfectionistic tendencies? If so, you are not alone. Listen to this week's episode to see how perfectionism might be showing up in your life and what you can do to combat it.
If you have an anxious child and you struggle with how to help them, this episode is for you.
Impostor syndrome is feeling like a phony. Listen in to this week's episode to learn what to do about it when it comes knocking at your door and how to keep it from slowing you down.
inspiration station: Messy Victories by Kolette and Jason Hall. www.kolettehall.com
I've learned so many life-changing lessons from being a client. Today I'm sharing 5 more of them with you.
I've learned so many life lessons by being coached many times over the past 4 years. Today I am sharing 5 of those lessons with you in hopes that you might learn from my lessons as well. Tune in next week for 5 more lessons.
Do you feel like the outsider at church? In your community? In your family? This week's episode will teach you how to change that.
What you focus on will grow. Learn in this episode how to focus on what you want to grow.
I teach you a three step process on today's podcast that will energize you, teach you how to get tons of stuff done, AND not be exhausted at the end of the day.
Listen in to learn how to be both grateful AND want more in your life. It doesn't have to be either/or. Both can work together.
Inspiration station: http://www.samjolman.com/grateful-still-want/
How's your relationship with your mother-in-law? If there are a lot of hurt feelings, this episode is for you. If you want to get along better with her and not have her take up so much space in your brain, listen in to this week's podcast.
inspiration station: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2010/04/and-upon-the-handmaids-in-those-days-will-i-pour-out-my-spirit?lang=eng
Join me as I teach you what a boundary is, what it isn't, and the best way to set boundaries from love. Whether it's your mother-in-law, your husband, or anyone else in your life that you need to set a boundary with, this episode is for you.
Mentioned in this episode: bowerbirdtours.com
Join me as I teach you the best way to support your husband (and yourself) when he's burnt out at work.
Learn the real cause of burnout (hint--it's not work) and how to minimize it in your life.
Organizing your mind is a lot like organizing a closet except that you don't have to take any trips to Goodwill when you're done.
Learn 3 simple steps to organizing your mind so you can create the resentment-free marriage and life you deserve.
If you don't want to abandon your New Year's Resolutions by mid January and instead accomplish them all this year, this podcast is a MUST LISTEN.
I will teach you three things about resolutions that you've likely never been taught before. And knowing these things will make all the difference in your success in 2021.
Do you fight with your husband about money?
Do you hide from your Nelnet balance or bank account numbers?
Have you been guilty of saying, "I'm just not good with money."?
If so, this podcast is for you. I interview Mark Butler, "the Money Guy" all about how to help doctors' wives change their thoughts about money so they can stop fighting with their spouse about it and start spending and saving it with intention.
Join Money School at letsdothebooks.com/money-school
Wanting what you already have is one of the best ways to cultivate gratitude and abundance (and invite more goodness into your life).
Are you ready to trade in your resentment for the courage to do what you feel called to do?
Listen to this interview with Becca Lloyd to find out how.
Learn more about Becca and her art tours at www.bowerbirdtours.com
Do you fall into black or white thinking?
"I can either take care of needs or take care of my kids. Not both."
"I can speak my truth or keep the peace."
"I'm on the wagon or I'm off the wagon with my eating habits."
If any of these sound familiar, this week's podcast is for you.
Learn how to change your thinking and in the process change from feeling obligated to feeling love.
free video for your kids that will teach them to manage their emotions so you don't have to. Find it at www.sarapayne.com/video
Writing in your journal--just one more thing you don't have time to do, right?
Today's episode will teach you 4 ways journaling will make your life better.
It isn't just for your posterity.
Want your children to manage their emotions so you don't have to? Get this video created just for them here: www.sarapayne.com/video
Megan is a personal trainer, health expert and social media influencer and this week on the podcast we talk about all things health AND mindset, including: * Where to get started when you feel overwhelmed with all things healthy eating. * How to exercise when you don't feel like it. * What mindset has to do with health goals * How to manage life when you're living with unrealized expectations.
Find out more about Megan at munchercruncher.com or on instagram @muncher_cruncher
"I hope my business is successful."
"I hope I lose weight."
"I hope I can get along with my husband."
Hope feels good, but it isn't an emotion that drives us to achieve our goals.
It's passive.
And often gives responsibility to something outside of us.
And when it comes to achieving goals, taking responsibility is the best success formula you can have.
Listen in to discover where you might be unintentionally using hope to keep your from achieving your goals.
Looking to teach your kids how to manage their emotions so you don't have to? www.sarapayne.com/video
Are screens a point of contention in your home with your children?
With your husband?
If you have ever felt like throwing your hands in the air because you don't know the best way to manage screens, this week's episode is for you.
Join me as I interview Andrea Davis, my client AND the author of Creating a Tech-Healthy Family as she teaches us useful strategies to worry less and connect more with our kids.
Words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch, and gift giving are all ways to show love and receive love from your spouse, right?
They can be, unless you are using them to create a wedge in your marriage.
Listen to this week's podcast to discover if you are you creating disconnection in your marriage with the love languages.
Inspiration station: Sharon Eubank Talk
Free Video for your children: Teach them to Manage their emotions so you don't have to
Learn how validating yourself is the best thing for your marriage, your motherhood, and YOU.
This podcast will give you 3 practical ways to get started TODAY.
Inspiration Station: www.churchofjesuschrist.org
This week I interview Dr. Katrina Ubell--she's a pediatrician, wife of an ENT doctor, mother, and master certified life and weight loss coach. She specializes in helping women physicians lose weight permanently.
We talk about
- untapping your potential as a doctor's wife
- resentment
- weight loss
- how to teach your kids the healthy eating habits you wish you had been taught as a child.
Katrina is so full of wisdom and lightheartedness, you won't want to miss is.
And she has a special free guide for you if you are looking to lose weight permanently. Find it at:
https://katrinaubellmd.com/freebie-doctorswife
Trust is such an important part of relationships. Learn 4 ways to cultivate more trust in the most important relationships in your life.
Want to enter the 100th episode giveaway? Leave a review on itunes and tag a friend on the giveaway post on instagram
https://www.instagram.com/sarapaynecoaching/
Do you find yourself feeling guilty a lot?
Over the amount of student loan debt you have?
Or what you ate last night?
Or how much you spent at Target or on Amazon last week?
If so, listen in to learn how guilt is sabotaging you and what to do instead.
The real reason you overeat isn't because you have no self control.
Or because you just love food too much.
Or because you grew up in a family where food=love.
The real reason you overeat is much simpler than that.
So is the solution to sop overeating.
Listen in to find out how.
Spending more money than you want?
Do you find yourself buying out of impulse after a hard day or when your husband has to stay late at work (again)?
Are you embarrassed to let people know how little money you have in savings and how much money you still have in student loans?
Would you love to remodel your home or take a European vacation without putting it on the credit card?
Your thoughts about money matter. Find out how to think ones that will get you spending money on the things that really matter to you.
Does your husband fail to live up to your expectations as a father?
Maybe he didn't teach your kids how to play basketball when they were little and now it's too late.
Or maybe he disciplines them differently than you do and you hate it.
If so, this episode is for you.
Will you be homeschooling for the first time ever this fall?
Or distance learning again?
Or maybe you're sending your kiddos to school with a backpack full of masks.
No matter what your school year looks like, it's different than it's ever been.
If you or your children are anxious about school this year, don't miss this episode.
It will help you feel more peace about this school year and it will help you help your kids as well.
We’re often tricked into believing that pursuing goals feels great, and that if it doesn’t, we must be doing something wrong.
But that’s a lie.
Growth is uncomfortable.
But so is staying where you are.
In this episode I teach you why you should choose the discomfort of growth over the discomfort of staying where you are.
Ready to go all in on your goals? Visit sarapayne.com/work-with-me to learn more.
Have you ever wondered what your husband is really thinking?
Wonder no more.
I invited my colleague, Carrie Marshall, who coaches doctors and other professionals, to talk to us about what’s really going on in his head.
Our conversation is enlightening to say the least.
Listen in to better understand your husband, your relationship, and yourself.
Find out more about Carrie at www.instagram.com/drive_your_thoughts_coaching
Confidence is the secret sauce to getting what you want in life.
Whether you want a relationship with your husband where you bravely communicate your deepest desires...
Or you want to start your own business and earn enough money to pay off your student loans (AND buy a vacation home in Hawaii).
Whatever it is, confidence is the fuel that helps you accomplish your goals.
Listen in today to learn the 3 secrets to killer confidence.
And then start making plans for that Hawaiian beach house :)
I hope you'll indulge me in getting personal on the podcast today about what I learned about myself as I worked on the goal of losing the last 10lbs. I invited my weight loss coach and friend, Robyn Mons to help me share my journey with you in hopes that it will be helpful for you in the pursuit of your goals.
The biggest thing I learned--it's not about the weight. It's not even about the food. It's about my relationship with me.
Feeling stuck and unable to move forward in your life or with a particular goal feels like garbage, have you noticed?
Since I don’t want you to feel like garbage, I recorded a podcast that will help you get unstuck with 4 simple tricks.
Buckle up and get ready to get out of the muck and living the life you’ve always wanted to live.
A couple of weeks ago I taught a class about how to stop being the backup dancer to your husband’s career.
Lucky for you, I recorded it and edited it down to all the best parts so I could put it on the podcast.
There are 3 myths that most doctors’ wives believe about pursuing their dreams and I debunk each one of them.
After the class, I answer questions from women just like you--so be sure to stick around for the second half because you're sure to get at least one question you have about your life answered.
It has been said that shame is the most human of all emotions--everyone feels it and very few understand it.
We are understanding shame on this podcast.
A shame-free approach, of course.
Join me as I teach you 5 important truths about shame and how you, the doctor’s wife, can use these truths to learn from your shame instead of being paralyzed by it.
Do you ever feel like it's your job to "fix" your husband's bad mood?
Or do you find yourself getting cranky whenever he's cranky?
This episode will help you understand why this is the case and what you can do about it.
Ready to use this work to finally create the marriage and life of your dreams? Sign up for a free consult call at sarapayne.com/work-with-me and I'll help you get started.
Want to join the webinar tonight? Get the link sent straight to your inbox at sarapayne.com/wifewebinar
Are you a people-pleaser?
Do you often feel exhausted, overwhelmed, and completely burnt out?
If so, this episode is for you.
Learn how people-pleasing could be creating resentment in your life, and how to honor your own needs and desires too.
In all my experience coaching doctors’ wives, I’ve noticed a cycle with resentment. Resent---React---Remorse. Here’s what I know about this cycle. It doesn’t get to the root of the problem. In today’s podcast I teach you how to stop the resent--react--remorse cycle and get your needs met. Listen and share it with your favorite doctors’ wives.
Ready to use this work to break the resentment forever and finally create the marriage and life of your dreams? Sign up for a free consult call at sarapayne.com/work-with-me and I'll help you get started.
What does it look like to choose love at a time like this? Love for yourself, love for others, love for every human being? The world needs love now more than ever. Are you willing to go first?
This week is all about MONEY.
I interview financial expert Ryan Inman of the Financial Residency Podcast and wouldn’t you know--he has a magical way of making finances not boring/scary/dreadful!
He breaks down 10 simple steps to organize your financial life, from creating a process for your bills to taking honest inventory about what you really want out of life and how your money can HELP you get there.
And guess what? Ryan only works with physician families (he’s married to a doctor himself), so he understands very clearly the unique financial circumstances that some many physicians deal with.
Give it a listen, and invite the hubs to listen,too.
List of important documents mentioned by Ryan found here.
Ahh, jealousy.
We all experience it.
But no one likes to admit they have it.
What if jealousy didn’t mean anything about you as a person?
What if jealousy could be your teacher?
This week’s episode will show you how.
Do you feel overwhelmed with everything on your to-do list?
Are you often frantically trying to get everything done at the last minute?
Do you feel like there's never enough time to take care of yourself?
You need time on your side!
Listen to this week's podcast to find out how to get everything done (minus the overwhelm).
In today's episode I dive into 3 beliefs that keep doctors' wives from achieving their dreams.
There is a difference between low quality questions like “Why does everything have to revolve around my husband’s job?” and “Why can’t I be more productive?”
And high quality questions like “What one thing can I do today to get closer to accomplishing one of my dreams?” and “What is the most important thing I can accomplish today on my to-do list and how can I find time to get it done?”
Low quality questions lead to low quality results.
High quality questions lead to high quality results.
Learn the difference, why it matters, and how to start producing high quality results in your life.
This week I interview my client, Kristelle. She shares with you how coaching has helped her find freedom in her life where she used to feel trapped as a doctor's wife and mother to young children.
Is your husband working less because of the pandemic?
If you are finding it hard to get along and if spending so much time together is a struggle, this week’s episode will help you strengthen your marriage during a pandemic and beyond.
One of the hardest parts about the state of the world right now is the uncertainty.
No one really knows how long this will last or what the world will look like when it’s over.
Sometimes it feels like even the worst news would be easier to handle than no news at all.
This podcast reminds you that you are a master at handling uncertainty.
This isn’t your first rodeo when it comes to not knowing what the future will bring.
I've created 3 easy-peasy homeschooling lessons on emotional resilience for your grade school child. They require ZERO prep and read like a book. You can find them at www.sarapayne.com/lessons/
We are living in a time where our husbands and their colleagues have been called to the front lines of a battle that we’ve never fought before.
Many of you are asking me, “How do I support my husband during this pandemic when I’m barely holding myself together?”
In this week’s podcast, I answer that question.
Listen and please share it with anyone who you feel might benefit.
Do you regret not having enough food storage for the COVID-19 pandemic?
Do you regret not speaking up about what you really want early on in your marriage and now it’s “too late”?
Maybe your regrets feel even heavier than that. Maybe you regret marrying your husband at all. You were young and smitten and didn’t know what you really wanted, and everyone told you it would be super smart of you to marry someone with ambitions of becoming a doctor…
No matter what your regrets, this podcast will help you make peace with them so you can stop focusing on the past and instead focus on the future you want.
Do you believe that your children are struggling because their dad works so much?
I used to believe that too.
Today we are diving into 3 parenting beliefs that are holding you and your family back, and why you might consider looking at them from a different perspective.
Mentioned in this podcast: David A. Bednar Broadcast: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/broadcasts/watch/evening-with-a-general-authority/2020/02?lang=eng&vid=6129806906001
Malcolm Gladwell Book: David and Goliath
Ready for a consultation call? Visit www.sarapayne.com and sign up today.
If you have been experiencing a roller coaster of emotions over the last few days, listen in for 3 strategies to help you deal with uncertainty during the Corona Virus Pandemic. If you'd like a free coaching call anytime over the next couple of weeks, I've opened up my schedule as much as possible. Check here for available spots. Looking for ways to keep the kids busy? Get my list of 50 Fun Things to do When Your Husband is On-Call at sarapayne.com/fun
Do you ever feel like you need more direction when it comes to talking to your kids about sex?
You want to approach the subject differently than your parents did, but you aren't sure where to start?
Listen to this week's episode with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife.
To find more about Dr. Finlayson-Fife, check out her website at www.finlayson-fife.com.
Interested in attending the workshop in Utah in April with Sara? Visit www.sarapayne.com/event for all the details.
This week I interview LDS sex therapist, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, about how resentment is affecting your sexual relationship with your spouse.
We also dive into exhaustion in the bedroom and developing integrity with yourself.
It’s an episode you won’t want to miss.
Find out more about Dr. Finlayson-Fife on her website at www.finlayson-fife.com
To schedule a consultation call with Sara, visit sarapayne.com
Depression has been described as the common cold of mental illness--nearly everyone is affected by it.
I was asked to give a talk in church on depression.
This week’s podcast is a modification of that talk.
Please listen and share it with those you love who have depression.
Together we can break through the stigma.
Let’s open up and talk more about this important topic.
To get more help from Sara, visit sarapayne.com/work-with-me
Do you feel like your husband’s job is stifling your dreams?
Do you feel trapped by his schedule?.
Have you found yourself thinking, ‘If it weren't for his job, I could…’.
I get it. .
I used to think all of those things, too. .
It’s easy to believe that everything would be easier if he had a more “normal” job. .
I have good news for you. .
Since his job isn’t likely to change anytime soon, .
How about we find a solution for you to achieve your goals AND still support him in his?
Listen to this week’s podcast to find out how.
This week I have special guest Amanda Louder on the podcast to talk about Being too tired to have sex.
If your exhaustion is getting in the way of the sex life you want to have with your husband, today’s podcast is for you.
Amanda is a certified life coach. She specializes in helping couples who are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints uplevel their sex lives. She is also the creator of the Live from Love podcast.
When people are new to thought work, I often hear them say,
“So you’re saying that everything is my fault and it’s all up to me to change my life?! What about my husband? Doesn’t he have to do anything?”
They feel like thoughtwork is putting all the blame on them.
I like to take a different view:
It’s not about blame, I tell them.
It’s about responsibility.
No, it’s not your fault.
Yes, YOU have the power to create whatever you want in your life.
One feels shameful.
The other feels unstoppable.
Which do you choose?
Listen to this week’s episode to learn how to choose responsibility.
We all know someone in our life who plays the victim.
The world is against them.
Things never go their way.
They blame other people, the weather, and just about everything outside of them for all their problems.
But what about you?
Do you ever fall into victim mentality?
Have you ever blamed your husband’s job for ruining your weekend?
For ruining your life?
What about your kids?
Do they make you {mad, frustrated, crazy, upset}?
I encourage you to give this episode an honest listen.
It’s not about blame.
It’s about empowerment and taking control of your own life.
Do you worry about the negative effects of technology on your children?
Are they even learning to communicate with real live people?
Are they looking at porn?
Are screens damaging them forever?
If any of these thoughts keep you up at night, today’s podcast guest has solutions for you.
Andrea Davis of Betterscreentime.com talks with me today about how coaching helped her build her business and teach parents how to worry less and connect more with their kids.
You won’t want to miss it.
Find more resources at betterscreentime.com
Self doubt is the lack of belief in one’s self and one’s abilities.
Do you find that you believe in others, but believing in yourself is so much harder?
Do you want to believe in yourself? Become more confident? And quiet the negative voices in your head, but you find yourself thinking, ‘How do I do that? How do I overcome self-doubt?’
What if you didn’t have to get rid of it? What if you could thrive WITH it?
Listen to today’s podcast to learn just how to do that.
One of the most common questions that I get about thought work is this:
“How do I teach this to others?”
“How do I get my husband to understand how life-changing this is--do you have any books you could recommend?”
“How can I teach this to my daughter. She REALLY needs it.”
And it makes sense that you would want to share something you love with those you love, right?
The problem arises when they just aren’t interested in learning about it.
Now what?
Listen to today’s episode for how to navigate teaching thought work when those you love don’t accept it the way you hope they will.
Have you have ever felt like your problems are too big for your life?
Like no one could possibly understand?
Like there is no way out?
Take 10 minutes and listen to this week's podcast.
I recorded it just for you.
Anyone who has put a spouse through medical training knows that it takes a certain amount of grit and determination to survive those years.
Moving far from family, managing the home almost completely by yourself, and living on a limited budget are no joke.
There is often a sense of pride in “doing it alone.”
And we sometimes wear it like a badge of honor.
But what if believing we have to do everything on our own is creating a lot of stress and overwhelm?
If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed and stressed all the time, trying to “do it all”, this week’s podcast is just what you need.
Do you find yourself tensing up when you mention going on vacation to a friend and she says, “That must be nice to be able to afford to go away like that.”?
Do you put your guard up when your husband says, “I think we should talk about the budget.”?
When we believe we are being judged by others, it is human nature to put ourselves on the defensive.
This week on the podcast, I teach you why the judgments of others can feel so threatening, and what you can do instead of putting yourself on the defensive.
It’s a must listen if there is any relationship in your life that you would like to improve.
Visit www.sarapayne.com to learn how to work with me one-on-one.
Are you ready to set some goals for a new year? For a new decade? Most people think that they lack the motivation that it takes to create the good habits that lead to a healthy body, healthy relationships, and accomplishing big goals.
But that's not true.
What they really lack is clarity.
Listen to today's episode to learn 4 steps to creating a good habit that sticks.
Referenced: James Clear, Author of Atomic Habits. Learn more about him at jamesclear.com.
Is your child going through something really challenging?
Depression?
Friend drama?
Addiction?
Do you feel helpless, not knowing what to do to help them solve their problem?
Listen to today's podcast for the comfort you've been searching for.
Do you have a big goal that you dream about accomplishing?
Maybe it's writing a book.
Or having another baby.
Maybe it's going back to school now that your husband is done with his medical training.
Creating a podcast was that really big goal for me.
I learned a few lessons along the way that I think will be applicable to any goal you might have, whether you are in the middle of accomplishing it or just thinking about it.
Listening will help you with whatever stage you are in.
Lara is the host of the popular podcast, Married to Doctors. On today's episode she talks about how she finds peace and fulfillment as a doctor's wife as well as lessons she has learned through interviewing dozens of physician families.
Learn more about Lara and how to work with her by visiting marriedtodoctors.com or listening to her podcast, Married to Doctors.
Listen to me. You don't lack will power. There isn't something wrong with you. You've just never been taught how to break a bad habit. I simplify it into 5 actionable steps that will have you letting go of those unwanted habits in no time.
The Doctor's Wife is a year old! We are celebrating with a giveaway. Listen to this episode for all the details, and head over to @sarapaynecoaching on instagram for more details!
Enter for a chance to win Apple Air Pod headphones, a $100 gift card to Target, or a Kavu Bag (my favorite "mom" purse).
Giveaway closes at midnight (Mountain time) on November 19, 2019.
Gratitude is one of my favorite emotions--it just feels so good!
But I've noticed a pattern.
Sometimes, as doctors' wives, we use gratitude as a way to punish ourselves.
Saying things like, "I know I should be grateful that my husband has a job at all, but it's just so hard to put the kids to bed on my own night after night."
The crazy thing about that thought is that it doesn't actually generate gratitude at all.
Listen to this week's podcast to learn how to stop punishing yourself with gratitude.
The time of year between Thanksgiving and the new year can often have people thinking,
"I'm just so busy!"
"There's so much to do, so many parties, so many gifts to buy!"
Is it really the most wonderful time of the year?
It can be.
Tune in to this episode to learn how to manage stress during the holiday season.
In today's episode I interview one of my clients, Robyn Mons, about how she has set and achieved goals that she once thought were impossible by using the power of coaching.
You will surely be touched and inspired as you listen to Robyn talk openly about her struggles before she found coaching, and how she has changed her life using these tools.
I hope as you listen you will feel Robyn's love and be open to thinking, 'If she can do it, I can do it!'
Are you ready to lose weight for the last time? Robyn teaches women every day how to do just that. Find her on Instagram and Facebook @robynmonscoaching to learn more or to sign up for a free consult call with her.
I believe that most of us want to be happy when good things happen to other people.
Like your sister getting a kid-free vacation with her husband while your mom watches the kids.
Or your friend losing weight.
Or your husband's co-worker getting a raise at work.
Why, then, do we often find ourselves feeling jealous instead of genuinely happy?
Listen in to learn why this happens and what you can do when you want to be happy for others but find yourself feeling jealous instead.
From the time we are very very young, we are taught that we can control how other people feel:
"Don't say that or you'll hurt your sister's feelings!"
"Grandma will feel bad if you don't give her a hug."
"You make me so angry when you color on the couch with permanent marker!"
The reality is, none of these things are true.
Listen to this episode to find out why, and for advice on what to do if someone tells you that you have hurt their feelings.
There are a couple of reasons why processing emotions is crucial to creating the life that we want.
Listen to understand more fully why emotions really are harmless and how processing them can help us get to the root of the problem.
This episode is one you won't want to miss!
"What's wrong with me?"
"Why can't I figure this out?"
"What's my husband's problem?"
I know your first grade teacher taught you that there's not such thing as dumb questions, but I'm going to show you otherwise.
Today's podcast will shed light on three areas of your life where you are asking yourself dumb questions (motherhood, marriage, to yourself) and how to ask yourself smart ones instead.
On today's podcast I interview one of my real life clients, Becca Lloyd, as we discuss why she decided to hire a coach and how her life has changed because of it.
Through coaching, Becca has been able to increase her confidence, stop worrying about things she can't control, and have the courage to truly be her authentic self.
Along the way, Becca has started a business, planning and executing art tours for couples around the US (and soon, internationally as well!). Find more information about these amazing tours on instagram @bowerbirdarttours.
Would you like to start a side business or passion project but you just don't know what you would like to do with your free time?
Are you confused about what your passions even are anymore?
You've spent so many years putting your husband through school and taking care of the family that you almost can't remember what you are interested in, right?
Listen today to find out why being confused is holding you back and how to stop feeling that way if you are ready to put your work out into the world.
For years, while your husband was in training and your children were young, you probably worried at one time or another that they were missing out.
You simply didn't have the resources to send them to expensive camps or buy them fancy birthday presents (or even clothes--hello hand-me-downs from cousins!).
Now that your husband is finished with training and your income has increased significantly, you might find yourself with the opposite concern:
Am I raising entitled children?
They have so many more opportunities than they have ever had in the past, and often many more opportunities than some of their peers.
Listen to today's podcast to answer this question: Am I raising entitled children?
Have you ever wondered, "Am I a good mom?"
How would you know the answer to such a loaded question?
Am I a good mom if my kids are happy?
Am I a good mom if they listen to me?
Am I a good mom if my house is kept clean?
Learn how to set expectations for yourself as a mom that are completely within your control.
Join me on today's episode as I interview my money coach, Mark Butler.
In today's episode you will learn:
- A new way to look at student loan debt.
- How to feel less shame about the way you spend your money.
- What to do if you find yourself thinking, 'I don't earn the money, my husband does, so I don't feel like an equal partner when it comes to our finances.'
- Where to start if you want to explore your own side hustle or money-making venture.
Mark is the CFO to some of the top earning life coaches in the industry as well as a life coach himself. He geeks out on spreadsheets more than anyone I know and his views on money will surely shake up your beliefs for the better.
Find more about Mark at markbutler.com/income
It's easy to focus on all of the times when you made wrong decisions in your past.
That one guy you dated who was trouble from the start.
That first job out of residency--they totally pulled the wool over your eyes!
Even the paint color you chose for your bathroom--ugghhh--it looked so different on the swatch at Lowe's.
What we don't often think about is the cost of indecision--of not deciding what to do.
Listen to this week's podcast for the hidden costs of indecision and how to become more decisive (and gain more freedom in the process).
Did this podcast resonate with you? Find more info at sarapayne.com
Loneliness is an interesting emotion.
Have you ever noticed that you can feel lonely even in a room full of people?
And that you can be completely alone and yet not feel lonely at all?
In today's podcast we dive into what loneliness really is and how to create connection, belonging, and love whether you are alone or surrounded by people.
Do you like what you're listening to on these podcasts and want even more help from me? Sign up for a free consult call to learn more.
Medical Training gives families ample opportunities to move and start over in a new place.
Have you just moved to a new town?
Will your child be attending a new school this fall?
Are you anxious about it?
Do you lie awake at night, thinking about them eating alone because they don't have any friends?
Or worse, getting involved with the WRONG kind of friends?
If so, today's podcast will arm you with the tools you need to support your child as they attend a new school.
Are you living somewhere that you don't love because of your husband's job?
Is the town too small?
Is the city too big?
Are the people cold and unfriendly?
Or maybe you don't mesh well with anyone at church?
Today's podcast will give you three tangible tools to help you start loving where you live, no matter where the location.
"I should really start exercising."
"I should be more patient with my kids."
"I should stop getting frustrated when my husband gets called into work."
There are so many "shoulds" that we place upon ourselves. In today's episode I help you see how these sometimes well-meaning thoughts can be sneaky and detrimental to our growth and progression. And in the process I'll teach you a better way.
The talk I shared with the young girls in my church congregation about the worth of each individual person.
Sex and intimacy play such an important role in marriage. Life coach and marriage expert, Natalie Clay joins me as we discuss how to create a more intimate relationship with your husband even when your sex drives don't match up.
Do you believe that you aren't a creative person? That other people can write music or perform or paint or write, but not you? If so, today's episode is for you. Listen to discover how you really ARE creative and what you can do to access your own creativity.
Resentment is bred out of unmet needs. Listen to today's podcast to learn about how to stop feeling resentful and start feeling more love and connection with those that matter most to you.
Does anxiety cripple you? Do you feel like it keeps you from living the life you want. Does it make you feel like you want to crawl out of your skin. Today I talk about the root cause of your anxiety and why it can feel so debilitating. Understanding it is the first step to taking control of it instead of allowing it to control you.
Have you ever noticed how easy it is to spot negativity in other people? Can you think of someone in your life who is "negative"?
Today's episode will help you catch those sneaky little thoughts that you might not even notice are negative at all, but they are preventing you from getting the results you want in your life.
Today my life coach and mentor Jody Moore joins us on the podcast to talk about creating more connection in marriage.
Learn what true connection really is and how to cultivate more of it in your marriage, no matter what the circumstance.
Your lower brain has three jobs:
-
Seek pleasure
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Avoid Pain.
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Conserve Energy.
This is known as the motivational triad. Your lower brain does NOT care if you are happy. Learn on today's podcast how this affects your views on the past, your relationships, and your self-confidence. And learn how to outsmart your lower brain.
There are many ways that we try to restrict ourselves---a budget restricts our spending, a diet restricts what foods we eat, and even a schedule restricts how we spend our time. Today I will teach you how you can restrict yourself without feeling restricted, and how restriction can actually bring so much freedom.
Difficult conversations can be really hard.
Do you avoid them or face them head on?
Do you need to have one with your mother-in-law but you aren't sure how to approach it?
Or maybe you and your spouse just can't seem to see eye to eye on an important issue and you are afraid to bring it up.
Listen in as I teach you a four step process to having a difficult conversation that will guarantee you are successful.
When we have self-confidence, it affects every other area of our life--our friendships, our relationships with our children, and our marriages.
In today's episode, learn where confidence comes from and how to gain more of it.
Is there someone in your life who crosses the line? Maybe it's your mother-in-law (she's always telling you how to raise your kids), or your husband (he's such a hot head after he's had a long day at work). Do you need to set a boundary but you aren't sure how? Today's episode will teach you all about what a boundary really is, when it's needed, and the steps to take to enforce it so that you can honest, open, and loving relationships in your life.
There are a lot of misconceptions about what it's really like to be married to a doctor. It's not all about unlimited budgets for you and golfing all day for your husband. In today's episode I discuss some of these misconceptions as well as four practical ways to handle them. Plus, I talk about my favorite childhood movie, so you simply have to listen.
Don't worry, be happy, right? Easier said than done. Listen today for some ways to worry less and enjoy your life more and some ideas that you might not have thought of before.
I love me some salon hair and a beautiful pedicure, but today I am going to teach you three new ways to take care of yourself that don't involve nail polish or spa days. Learn how true self-care isn't selfish at all. It helps you be your best self so that you can show up for your family the way that you want to.
The world teaches us that other people can hurt our feelings.
Our kids can drive us crazy.
And the weather can ruin our day.
The world also teaches us that we are responsible for how others feel.
That what we say and do can ultimately control how other people show up in the world.
It can't.
Today's podcast will teach you a better way.
Listen in to learn about emotional adulthood and start taking control of the things in your life that you CAN control.
Mentioned in this podcast: "Bear Up Their Burdens with Ease" by David A. Bednar
Did you cringe at the very title of this episode? Do thoughts of student loans and debt make you want to run and hide? This episode will help you uncover your relationship with money and give you some new and empowering ways to look at student loans.
Mentioned in this podcast: Make Money as a Life Coach Podcast with Stacey Boehman
Looking for more help from me? Sign up here for a free consult call: Schedule Here!
There are two types of discomfort--the discomfort that holds you back and the discomfort that helps you reach your goals. Today's episode will teach you the difference between the two and how to use discomfort to create an amazing life.
Learn what a relationship really is and how you can create the relationships you long to have with those you love most.
When do you feel most overwhelmed? Is it in regards to motherhood? Keeping up with the house? Or do you feel it most when you are trying to take care of yourself and reach your goals? No matter when you feel it most, today's episode will help you understand why you feel it so that you can deliberately feel it less in your life.
You spent a decade or more supporting your husband in his medical career, and now he hates his job. How can that be? You might have been prepared for long hours, a lot of solo parenting, and a slew of other circumstances. But you never thought he would be unfulfilled in his career. Listen today for some helpful advice on how to support your husband in this situation and still feel peace and happiness yourself in the process.
Link to Bradley Cooper singing at the Lady Gaga concert.
The media and advertising would have you believe that if you just use their product or buy what they're selling, you'll be happy all the time. But the reality is, some parts of life are just full of uncomfortable emotions. Today I teach you about the 50% rule and how, when we embrace it, it actually helps us enjoy our lives more. Even though half of life consists of negative emotions, we get to choose which negative emotions we invite into our lives.
BYU Speech from Inspiration Station: Stand for Forever
Watching our children go through hard things can be so so painful. All we really want is for them to be happy, right? On today's episode I discuss 3 things you can do when your child is struggling. It was a game-changer for me as a parent when I learned these tools.
In today's episode of the podcast I discuss why it's hard for so many of us to say no and why it often becomes a problem in our lives. Listen in for 5 different ways to say no.
Calling all people-pleasers!!! Do you find yourself endlessly putting your needs on the back burner? Is it almost impossible for you to say "no"? Do you worry more than you'd like about what other people think of you? This episode is for you, sister.
Do you ever think you'll never find the close friendships that you enjoyed while your husband was going through medical school or residency? Do you wish you could find close friends but don't believe that "Your People" actually live anywhere near you? Learn about 3 ways to make friendships that last in this episode.
Circumstances are all the things around us that we can't directly control. The weather. Traffic. Other people and their words and actions. Circumstances are the facts of the situation. They are totally neutral until we have a thoughts about them. Learn in today's podcast why this is so important to your happiness, well-being, and your entire life.
Inspiration Station: Weight loss for Busy Physicians Episode 100
If we were friends in real life: www.betterscreentime.com
Quote by Sister Sharon Ubank mentioned from the following talk: Turn on Your Light
Massive action is taking action toward a goal and not stopping UNTIL YOU REACH YOUR GOAL. No matter what. No matter how many obstacles you encounter. No matter how many times you try. I give you three concrete ways to apply massive action to your New Year's Resolution so that you can make 2019 your most amazing year yet.
There are three things that most humans do when we experience negative emotion: we resist it, we react to it, and we avoid it.
Today I teach you how to process and allow it. It's a skill that will change everything for you and help teach you that uncomfortable emotions are harmless.
Today Sara teaches you what buffering is, why we do it, why it's harmful, and what we can choose to do instead.
If you've ever said, "I wish I didn't spend so much time on Instagram" or "I just can't give up treats--sugar is my coping mechanism!", then today's episode is for you.
Are you feeling left out this holiday season? Do your family members live far away? Are you feeling like Christmas won't really be Christmas if you aren't spending it with all of those you love? Today's episode contains 3 helpful ways to make this Christmas the best ever, no matter where you celebrate.
Is there a member of your family who is difficult for you to love? Maybe it's your gossipy sister-in-law? Or your needy mother-in-law? Today we dive into what makes someone "difficult" and how to deal with them, especially with the holidays upon us.
How do you speak to yourself? Is that voice in your head kind, or condemning? In this episode we take a look at what the mean girl in your brain might be saying to you, why she says it, and how to keep her from holding you back.
In this episode I'm teaching you how to use the CTFAR model to solve any problem. It will change your life as you apply it.
Do you get overwhelmed? What about confused? Worried? In this episode, learn why these emotions are indulgent and how to get some leverage over them so they don't take control of your life.
This podcast is for women who have supported their husbands through medical residency or other post-graduate training and are now ready to take control of their own personal development and slay their goals, no matter what the circumstance.
Join host Sara Payne--Life Coach, Wife, Mother of 4, and Member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints as she offers you weekly advice and tangible principles that will help you take your life to the next level.
Whether you want to improve your health, work on the most important relationships in your life, or increase your self-confidence--you are in the right place.
This isn't a podcast about surviving, it's about thriving--it's your turn, friend! Let's take your life from good to great.
Find Sara at www.brightsidemamas.com and @bright.side.mamas on instagram and on Facebook @brightsidemamas