tender wild alive awake: Recent Episodes
Fenna Jones
my dearest fresh human,
i hope you are arriving well
and if not, no worries, you will be arriving forever and it will get better and worse and then better again
it takes a village to raise a child, they said
and asked me what my role in your village will be
what will I do and be a role model for?
well, my love, I contemplated about this of course
and first and foremost - there are no roles
the roles, the boxes, the shapes, you don’t have to squeeze yourself in there
even if they make it seem like you have
you don’t, okay?
you don’t
and so i don’t want to be a role model for you {- the world is full of those if you need them}
i want to be a possibility model
the possibility of rainbow pancakes
of crafting cardboard castles
of paint and pencils and forest poetry
the possibility of living in whatever shape you like
a tiny forest house, a piece of land, a community living project
an aunt, a listener, a leader
the possibility of friends across generations
i really hope that when I’m 90 i will still befriend twenty year olds
the possibility of going to the sea in winter and lying down on the ice cold sand
and listen to the waves and the storm
of shouting love letters to yourself
and friends around the world
the possibility of generosity
of living the gifts that you never received
the possibility of aspiring to becoming the sun light
the possibility of dancing in the supermarket
it is possible to give yourself permission
it is possible to remember you do not even need permission
you just be do change create
the possibility of climbing dunes together and running down so fast it feels like falling
the possibility of building your big path on small leaps of faith
it is possible to change direction, to change your mind
to become new colours of yourself over and over again and forever
to let go when letting go means being courageous
and hold on when holding on means being courageous
it is possible to ask yourself: what would love do?
what would love do, what would courage, do what would fear do
the possibility of showing up on the yoga mat every morning half past 6
not because you feel like it, but because it is what love does
the possibility of committing to your practices
summer or winter, rain or snow, desperate or elated
just doing the things you need to do
the possibility of ambition and dedication
of growing beyond yourself
of making a huge impact on a big scale
of concrete outcomes and solid solutions
and also the possibility of divorcing the focus on end results
it’s not the outcomes that matter
it’s our relationships that give meaning to our struggles
the possibility of crafty evenings with olives and bon iver
the possibility of not waiting for a special moment
and making some moments special
creating pockets of magic
of stillness, wonder, sacredness
pockets of celebration and dancing and joy
candles string lights eye contact
the possibility of daily adventure
of supermarket expeditions and city forest learning journeys
the possibility of noticing
observing
being present to life
looking up to the sky
and okay maybe that are a lot of possibilities
if i could model only one thing
i think i want to model
the possibility of dance
dance everywhere and forever
coming home
maybe we’re here
maybe it’s time
maybe after the age of ads and magazines
you’re too fat too thin too old too asymmetrical
maybe it’s time to come home to our bodies
their movement their touches their longings
after the hustle the hurry the burn out
maybe it’s time to honour our time
together
to take a breath and make it sacred
maybe after the matches the fighting the winners the losers
maybe it’s time to come home to our oneness
and say: our future is a collaboration
let’s make beautiful things with beautiful people we love
maybe after the age of buying and shopping online and in stores
more more cheaper cheaper made in china vietnam myangmar
maybe it’s time to come home to making clumsy things ourselves just for the fun of it
diy kombucha, awkwardly knitted scarfs, imperfect sourdough breads
and maybe it’s time to come home to enough
a candle a stillness
writing a postcard
what else do we need on an evening like this
after the highways the airplanes the faraway places
the further and further
exotic expensive exquisite
maybe it’s time to be an explorer of the world where we are
the forests and the lakes on the bike
the leaves the skies the smell of the soil
maybe it’s time to travel to our own piece of land
a garden, a fruit tree, a long kitchen table
maybe it’s time to travel to the places of noticing and appreciation
this sun ray, this smile
of this stranger
this carrot that was planted and watered and nurtured and harvested
transported sold bought cleaned cut roasted salted
and now
on my plate
maybe after making change and fixing stuff
we can come home to being change
in flow in flux
impermanence, imperfect
maybe after scrolling and surfing and tweeting and numbing
we can come home to the pain deep inside
the tears of the darkness
but also the warrior parts of our being
the trembling aliveness
of facing the fire
afraid and awake
maybe after the shame
all the fears
the culture of never enough
maybe we can come home to
daring to love
deep love for ourselves and the world and the whole
maybe we are ready for a revolution
that is not a revolution but an evolution of home
home and love and art and warmth and whole
hello online people,
let me go
let me say bye
let me meet strangers
let me make friends
and let me be
community
let me close the laptop forever
and stroke the hair out of your face
hug cuddle hold me
take me to a room sweating of dancers
take me close
take me in
and away from the screens
i’m not here to broadcast to masses
i’m here to touch a few
take me running walking hiking cycling
forests seas dunes far away
take me
take me
take me to the lakes
let me swim
let me see water
let me touch your wet skin
let me get lost in daylong adventures
let me go free and far and wild
let me go
let me roam
let me let me let me now
let me follow the sun
let me find the outside