Rick Thomas | Life Over Coffee: Recent Episodes
Rick Thomas
Rick has been training in the Upstate of South Carolina since 1997. After several years as a counselor and pastor, he founded and launched his own training organization in order to encourage and equip people for effective living.
In the early ‘90s, he earned a BA in Theology. Later he earned a BS in Education. In 1993, he was ordained into Christian ministry, and in 2000, he graduated with an MA in Counseling. In 2006, he was recognized as a Fellow with Association of Certified Biblical Counselors.
Today his organization reaches people in every country through training, blogging, podcasting, counseling, and coaching. His cyber home is RickThomas.Net
One of the more surprising things I’ve learned from decades of counseling is that the average Christian does not know how to change. We know how to confess, feel remorse, and promise to do better, but not how to repent biblically. The Bible’s word for change is repentance, and learning how to do it is the most important thing you will ever know. The doctrine of repentance is not a single act but a divine process with thirteen interconnected steps. Understanding these steps is the difference between momentary guilt and lasting transformation.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/most-important-things-youll-ever-learn-to-help-you-change/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
What is worldliness, and where do you find it? Your answer to that question will shape your entire Christian life. It will influence how you worship, how you lead, how you serve, how you love, and how you engage your culture. Many Christians define worldliness as something external—something “out there” to be avoided. But if your goal is to walk in a manner worthy of Christ, you must look deeper. The Christian life is not primarily about what you distance yourself from but what you pursue, treasure, and allow to govern your heart. To discern rightly, we must understand both the deceptive nature of legalism and the subtle pull of worldly affections.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/investigating-legalism-world-worldliness/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Every time we sin, a response is required. God calibrated our consciences that way; we have an internal moral thermostat that sends out a signal each time we transgress. One of God's many mercies to His creation is our internal warning system (Romans 2:14-15). Thus, the question is not if we will respond to our offenses but how. Our reaction to failure is the truest window into our practical theology. What we do with sin reveals what we believe about God, ourselves, grace, and change.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/four-things-we-do-to-make-life-hard-on-ourselves/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Talking about change and being willing to change are not the same things. Most people can talk a good game when the pressure is on. They know the vocabulary of crisis: “I know I need help…” “I’m tired of living this way…” “I want to change.” But saying those words is not the same as surrendering the heart.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/ten-things-to-know-before-you-begin-helping-someone/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Do you believe God sends people to hell, or do you think hell is the result of people who reject God? The question is complex, and your answer will affect everything from your view of God to your motives for obedience to your interpretation of suffering. Our lived experience is downstream of our theology, making it of utmost importance that our view of God is as precise as it can be, and how we think about our eternal destinies is one of the more theocentric questions you can ask.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/i-am-a-saved-legalist-who-struggles-with-depression/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Few battles cut deeper than the double blow of discovering your spouse has committed adultery and then facing the finality of divorce. Each one by itself can flatten the soul. But when they come together in succession, it feels like an earthquake followed by a tsunami. Your compass spins wildly, your sense of safety collapses, and God Himself can seem hard to find or understand. I write this conclusion with you in mind: the one whose heart has been ripped in two and who wonders if life will ever steady again. Maybe you are in the thick of it now, or maybe you are walking with someone who is. Either way, the counsel here is meant to give you perspective, hope, and practical handles for the long journey forward.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/when-marriage-breaks-conclusion-ten-anchors-for-your-soul/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
The path to dysfunction is unmarked and hidden. Nobody knows they’re on it until it’s too late. There are subtle indicators, but we rarely discern them. One of the clearest is the quiet mantra, “I deserve better.” That whisper hardened into a posture in Biff, and it paved the way to adultery. Biff had been frustrated with Mable for most of their marriage. They were high-school sweethearts. Everyone predicted a fairy-tale future. She was everything to him; he was the apple of her eye.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-path-to-adultery-and-a-plan-to-restoration-in-thirteen-steps/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
One of the hardest opportunities in the Christian life is learning how to help the very person who has hurt you. Everything in us recoils at the idea. The natural instinct when offended is to defend, withdraw, or retaliate. When your trust has been shattered, especially in something as devastating as adultery, the thought of leaning back in to help your spouse feels impossible, even offensive. Yet this is exactly where the gospel pushes us, not to ignore sin, not to excuse betrayal, but to look beneath the surface and begin addressing the root-level issues of the heart.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/learning-how-to-help-the-person-who-hurt-you/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
The dynamic of an insecure husband and a critical wife is one of the most common and deeply embedded relational patterns in marriage counseling. It’s a dynamic that doesn’t usually appear overnight, and it’s rarely the result of one major failure. Instead, it’s the slow erosion of trust, affection, communication, and humility over time. This kind of marriage dysfunction typically forms from a combination of personal insecurity, unresolved sin, habitual selfishness, and immature gospel application. And yet, as with all biblical counseling situations, this relational spiral is not beyond hope. The gospel is robust enough, the Spirit powerful enough, and the church necessary enough to bring healing.Read, Watch, Listen: lifeovercoffee.com/mind-mapping-in…-critical-wife/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
There are not many experiences in life more perplexing, destabilizing, and agonizing than discovering that your spouse has committed adultery. It feels like the ground gives way beneath your feet. The person you trusted most, the one with whom you covenanted before God, has betrayed that sacred union. The question immediately rises to the surface of the soul: How do you survive this?Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/surviving-adutlery/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Our behaviors reveal our hearts. “By their fruit, you shall know them.” If you get a discerning handle on a person’s actions, you will begin to unearth clues to what may be going on in their heart. The more biblical clarity you have, the better position you will be to care for them like Jesus would. For example, this theology of sanctification applies to many things that most folks might not consider. Let’s consider marriage. How do behaviors like laughability, tender care, and one-flesh body language form clues to help you understand the couple?Read, Watch, Listen: lifeovercoffee.com/mind-mapping-a-…om-bad-to-good/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
It is impossible to keep from talking about others behind their backs. We all do it in some form, whether casually, out of concern, or even in prayer. Thus, the question is not whether talking about someone will occur but how will we respond when it does? In this chapter, I’m speaking about gossip. Are we content to listen and silently participate in these conversations, or do we have the courage to redirect them toward biblical restoration? The way we handle private talk about others, especially when the information is potentially sinful, reveals not only our love for others but also our reverence for God.Read, Watch, Listen: lifeovercoffee.com/practical-wisdo…siping-friends/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
In the first three chapters, we explored the deceptive language of “emotional affairs,” the way secret sin hardens the conscience, and how hidden compromise can quietly rot a marriage from the inside out. We saw that adultery does not appear overnight. It is the fruit of years—sometimes decades—of unchecked desires, unconfessed sins, and unresolved guilt. What begins with private choices eventually becomes public devastation.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/interview-with-a-victim-of-adultery/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
The path to a small god begins in childhood. It winds down a dangerous path until it finds self-reliant living, which is always destructive to the individual and their relationships. The way out of this nightmare of this soul is possible with a little help from a few competent friends and the grace of God.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/mind-mapping-a-lady-with-a-small-god/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
You don’t want to be a dull Christian. You don’t want to harden your conscience until it no longer feels or responds the way God designed it. Every believer faces a choice: you can walk in the truth—especially about yourself—or you can hide. But know this: if you choose concealment, your conscience will not stay silent. It will eventually take its revenge on you.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/be-honest-or-your-conscience-will-take-revenge-on-you/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Many Christians mistakenly assume that as they learn to trust and obey God, a perfect marriage will naturally follow. The thinking often sounds like, “Isn’t a happy marriage one of the blessings of following Christ?” While the desire reflects a positive ideal, the assumption overlooks the realities of living in a fallen world. In nearly every case, the ideal isn’t the starting point; it’s a destination that requires a broader, more realistic understanding of what it truly takes to build a strong, Christ-centered marriage. Only when a couple widens their lens can they begin to grasp the effort and grace required for a genuinely fabulous marriage.Read, Watch, Listen: lifeovercoffee.com/mind-mapping-th…oull-ever-find/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
If you practiced fornication while dating, don’t be surprised when other sins surface in marriage—including adultery. Sin tolerated in seed form does not disappear when you say “I do.” A ceremony doesn’t sanctify prior rebellion; it often cements it. What begins as “small compromises” before marriage typically grows into larger sins within marriage. Unless God radically reorients both hearts, marriage won’t repair what was broken beforehand—it will magnify it.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/yes-we-fornicated-while-dating-but-why-did-he-commit-adultery-in-marriage/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
This chapter is a response to a friend who is working on his thesis requirement for his MA in Biblical Counseling. He asked my opinion on the necessity of a biblical counseling strategy for a local church. As I was thinking about how to respond, I thought it would be instructive to build out a mind map to show him visually what I wanted to say in written form, hoping to make a solid case for biblical counseling and the local church.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/episode-19-should-you-have-a-biblical-counseling-strategy-for-your-church/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
When the gospel is no longer your practical, everyday center—when it ceases to be the functional anchor of your life, and you replace it with lesser things, even admirable or biblical pursuits like serving the Lord, you will begin to drift toward dissatisfaction and unrest. And where discontentment grows, so does the enticement to meet God-given longings through man-centered means. This subtle exchange—replacing Christ with works—leads to a life increasingly marked by striving, performing, and attempting to secure worth and identity apart from God.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/in-search-of-significance-careys-story/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
What is an “emotional affair”? That phrase sounds common enough in our culture, but it does not belong inside a Bible-shaped framework. It is a term imported from secular psychology, self-help literature, and popular media. It arises out of a worldview that denies Christ and refuses to acknowledge God’s clear revelation of human hearts, sin, and relationships. When the culture refuses the categories of Scripture, it must create new ones. The result is a flood of terms like self-esteem, affair, emotional abuse, disorder, mental illness, addiction, identity crisis, toxic relationship, or gay.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/when-marriage-breaks-chapter-1-an-emotional-affair/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Imagine living unchained from the ever-shifting opinions of others. Picture a life where your thoughts are no longer shaped by the imagined or actual evaluations of those around you. Visualize walking through your day with such a firm, unshakable connection to your Creator that the overarching tone of your life is the enjoyment of His unwavering pleasure and delight in you. Now imagine this becoming your normal. How incredible would it be to walk through a week—or even stretch that into a month or a year—unburdened by the exhausting compulsion to manage what others might think of you?Read, Watch, Listen: lifeovercoffee.com/you-have-the-ri…-your-own-skin/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
The fight against porn is likely to be a daily battle for the rest of your life, but that isn’t bad news. Not if you’re equipped, ready, and willing to engage. This final chapter examines how to resist pornography on a daily basis, what sanctification entails in everyday life, and how genuine gospel transformation is sustained over time.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/mind-mapping-resist-porn-daily-basis-pt-3/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
God will fully receive anyone who accepts what Christ has done on their behalf. It’s an incredible, transformational exchange: Jesus takes all your sins and gives you His righteousness. But though the gospel is powerfully sufficient, not every Christian walks in its practical, daily freedom. Some still live under the soul-enslaving grip of others’ opinions, tethered to man’s approval while claiming to rest in God’s.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/breaking-the-bondage-of-people-pleasing/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Biffy was born into a dysfunctional home. He told me that he did not remember a time when his parents were not arguing. He is 14 years old, almost 15. He said there were many nights when he would curl up in his bed, hug his bear-y, and cry himself to sleep. Mable, his mother, brought him to counseling because she did not know how to deal with him any longer. Biffy had been acting out lately, and as Mable said, “I’m at my wit’s end. I can’t do this anymore.” Biffy represents a conundrum in the counseling world.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/you-cannot-need-someone-and-love-someone-at-the-same-time/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
In the last chapter, we saw that pornography isn’t just a behavior problem—it’s a false gospel, a counterfeit attempt to reclaim intimacy, beauty, and identity apart from God. But when we uncover the spiritual roots of this struggle and embrace who we are in Christ, the strongholds begin to fall. The call isn’t simply to “stop sinning,” but to step into the fullness of life as beloved sons and daughters—walking in holiness and community. To see how this unfolds in real life, let’s revisit our three characters.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-to-break-free-from-porn-addiction/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Everyone is a victim. Nobody escapes this life without experiencing hurt from others. The real question is not whether someone has hurt you but how you are responding with humility to God so you’re not controlled by what has happened to you.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-natural-regression-of-a-woman-how-she-went-from-bad-to-worse/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Parents are in a position of profound influence. With every word they speak, every tone they use, and every reaction they offer, they are either cultivating a spirit of security or sowing seeds of insecurity into the hearts of their children. Parenting cannot regenerate a heart—that’s the work of the Spirit—but parents are inescapably powerful shaping influences. They form a child’s earliest views of love, protection, and stability. That shaping imprint can be a springboard into maturity or a burden that takes decades to untangle.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/fussy-parents-make-insecure-kids/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
There’s a constant stream of noise surrounding pornography—competing voices offering data, opinions, and solutions. Some emphasize brain science and addiction; others point to its ties to sex trafficking or the unraveling of social values. Cultural shifts in dating, along with rising levels of fear, anxiety, shame, and inner turmoil, only add to the confusion. It’s like trying to tune an old analog radio—how do we separate the signal from all the static? How do we find wisdom, not just more information? This tension matters because the fight against porn addiction begins in the mind. How you think about what’s happening shapes the practical steps you take to address it.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-to-think-about-a-porn-addiction/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Children were never meant to earn affection. That idea didn’t come from God but from legalistic, conditional relationships. Christian parents are called to imitate God the Father, and one of the most critical ways we do that is by loving our children simply because they belong to us. That’s how God loves His children. Of course, we know they are not perfect. There is a time and a way to deal with their disobedience, but the foundation of their upbringing must be the constant, unwavering assurance of love. Love should be an uninterrupted expectation in a child’s life. When that expectation is consistently met, you give them something sturdy—something God-centered—to build on. Without that, their souls will develop around a hollow craving. Their hearts will fracture. They’ll grow up into complicated people. Let’s consider four such individuals.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/when-you-make-your-child-work-for-your-affection/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
It is not uncommon—actually, it is entirely typical—for individuals to struggle with fear of man, and equally common is the confusion surrounding how to come alongside others caught in this deeply embedded sin. This struggle isn’t merely a personality quirk or emotional tendency. It is a heart issue rooted in misplaced worship. Addressing this problem requires a twofold approach: we must teach on the issue regularly and with clarity, and we must create intentional relational contexts where we can practically walk each other through the universal battle with fear, shame, and guilt.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-sobering-reason-its-hard-to-overcome-insecurity/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
This song was created by Jonathan Holden. He and his wife are missionaries in Angola, Africa. They serve the Navigators ministry, raising leaders for Christ, and sending them to the world. He loves Life Over Coffee, and wanted to bless us with his creative work. Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Have you ever tried to train a flea? As odd as that may sound, the concept is not only real—it’s incredibly instructive. The process is simple. You place a flea—or perhaps a flock of fleas (though I’m not convinced “flock” is the technical term)—into a Mason jar and seal the lid tightly. You then leave the jar alone for three full days. After that time, you unscrew the lid. Here’s the shocking part: the flea will not escape. It will jump—but never high enough to leave the jar. It has been trained. Conditioned. Even without the lid, it now believes it cannot be free. Even more sobering: if you have two fleas of the opposite sex, their offspring will be the same. Though they’ve never encountered the lid, they, too, will not escape. It’s a generational curse. Fleas born into captivity stay there—even when the top is off.Read, Watch, Listen: lifeovercoffee.com/how-to-train-yo…led-by-someone/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Obedience is not a transaction with God. It is not a lever you pull to manipulate His pleasure, nor a means of earning divine approval. Obedience flows from a heart that the gospel has radically transformed. It rises not from a place of fear or striving but from a settled gratitude—a soul that knows it has been loved and accepted fully in Christ. To obey God rightly is to respond to His love, not to attempt to earn it. That distinction changes everything.Read, Watch, Listen: lifeovercoffee.com/the-danger-of-t…-to-please-god/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
No godly parent wakes up thinking, “How can I lead my child toward pornography today?” And yet, it happens. Parents unintentionally train their children toward a distorted view of sex by what they do, what they ignore, and what they fail to value in the home. This chapter is not a list of parenting failures to shame you; it is a sober warning about the unintended ways we may contribute to the porn problem, even while sincerely desiring our children to walk in purity. Ignorance is not innocence. A careless or inconsistent home can become the training ground for porn use later in life.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/five-sure-fire-ways-to-motivate-your-child-to-use-porn/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
What the Bible calls the fear of man goes by many names in modern parlance, often cloaked in socially acceptable language or chalked up to personality quirks. But beneath the surface of these terms is a controlling belief system—a misplaced trust in people over God. When we speak of traits like insecurity, peer pressure, or people-pleasing, we’re not just pointing out emotional struggles or behavioral patterns. We are exposing a functional theology—a core belief system about where our hope lies and what ultimately defines our worth. The fear of man is far more than a social discomfort; it’s a faith issue. It reveals where we are placing our confidence.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/synonyms-for-insecurity-or-fear-of-man/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Several years ago, I was meeting with a teenage boy who, with striking honesty and a disarming sense of cultural awareness, looked at me and said, “Mr. Thomas, you don’t wear Walmart to high school.” His words were clear, unfiltered, and surprisingly profound. In that simple statement, this young man had unwittingly diagnosed one of the most pervasive and deeply embedded issues that afflict every human heart: the powerful pull of the fear of man. With his comment, he laid bare his internal struggle—one we all know too well—the temptation to let the collective opinions of others define our choices, values, and even our self-worth. Though he may not have used theological language, he was describing the reality of being mastered by what others think of him.Read, Watch, Listen: lifeovercoffee.com/the-story-of-th…lled-by-others/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
When your heart is not being obedient because you “just don’t feel like doing the right thing,” you need to be obedient anyway to get your heart in the right place. We’ve all had those times of being out-of-sorts and apathetic about doing the right thing. It’s not a posture of the heart to applaud, but how do you move forward when desires are low? In such cases, rote, black-and-white obedience is a great way to change what’s going on inside of you.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/when-obedience-collides-with-emotion/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Ryan Maher joins me to talk about one of the most pressing questions Christians face: how do you trust God when life doesn’t make sense? In this conversation, we move beyond surface-level answers and wrestle with the deeper issue—what we actually believe about God’s character when suffering enters our lives. Ryan shares his burden to confront common misconceptions about God and to help people rebuild a biblically grounded trust in Him. We also explore how distorted views of God quietly shape fear, control, and functional unbelief in everyday life. If you’ve ever struggled to reconcile God’s goodness with your experience, this conversation will challenge and help you think more clearly and trust more deeply.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-576-ryan-maher-the-god-worth-trusting/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Our memories can play tricks on our minds, and if we’re not careful, we can grow dissatisfied with our lives while giving too much thought to a past that was not how we had hoped. We may even revise our past—unwittingly—to fit a narrative we prefer. Learning how to capture these uninvited, rogue memories and submit them to Christ’s obedience is crucial. Let me illustrate what I mean with my friend, Biff.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/memories-forgetting-past-relationship-thoughts/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Faithful shepherding in a digital age begins when parents recognize how technology both reveals and shapes the desires of the heart. Devices do not create our problems—they expose what is already ruling us—making wise, intentional discipleship in the home essential. As screens influence identity, relationships, attention, and worship, parents must move beyond managing behavior to shepherding hearts, helping their children interpret life biblically and follow Christ in a world that is constantly discipling them in a different direction.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-575-shepherding-your-family-in-a-digital-age/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
If your life was put in three different file drawers that represented your past, present, and future, which of the file drawers drains the most joy out of your life? For example, if there is a disruption of your contentment, it would indicate something has gone wrong in—at least—one of your file drawers. Thus, you would identify the problem and begin to restore contentment by isolating the issue and initiating a process to bring the gospel to bear on what seeks to disrupt your mind. To help drill down into this concept, I have developed three mind maps to bring clarity to taking our rogue thoughts captive.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-to-change-your-thought-life/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
The noetic effect of sin means our thinking can be stinking at times. Humans, born in the image of God, fell into sin. Our fall broke the purity and clarity of the mind that God gave to us. We need a change of mind, which the mind map in this chapter will help us to understand.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/mind-mapping-stinking-thinking-thoughts-on-how-to-change-your-mind/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Physical intimacy in marriage is not merely a physical act—it is a spiritual indicator of the health of a relationship. Because the fall introduced shame, selfishness, and hiding into the human heart, couples carry broken patterns into marriage. But through repentance, gospel-centered love, and biblical koinonia, God transforms intimacy from self-centered desire into a Christ-reflecting union.Watch or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-574-redeeming-physical-intimacy/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Have you ever accused yourself of something that was not true? It’s when you gaslight yourself, telling yourself something that is false. Any false argument launched against yourself can quickly turn into a mental stronghold that could debilitate you spiritually. We are susceptible to false arguments that can take control of our minds. These recurring thought patterns, when left unchecked, will become the dominating arguments of our minds, even to the point where they become our new truth—our new way of thinking. A stronghold is the instrument that shapes how we interpret and respond to life.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-to-take-every-thought-captive-the-battle-for-your-mind/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Your emotions can be good or bad, but in either case, they accurately reflect what is happening in your thought life. If the emotions are right, the person is thinking and responding correctly. If a person’s emotions are not biblically aligned with God’s Word, they need intentional, compassionate, and patient biblical care to help change their thinking. Let me illustrate.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/emotional-problems-point-to-a-poor-thought-life/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Suffering does not have to destroy a marriage, but it can reveal the hearts within it. Trials expose what we trust, what we fear, and what we worship. When couples learn to interpret suffering through the gospel, hardship becomes one of God’s primary tools for humility, repentance, deeper unity, and spiritual maturity.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-573-when-suffering-enters-your-marriage/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Some phrases are so catchy that they become part of our Christian vocabulary almost without question. Over time, these sayings turn into clichés—short, memorable expressions that capture an idea. There is nothing inherently wrong with this form of expression. A well-crafted phrase can serve as a helpful reminder of biblical truths. But when a cliché lacks theological depth and precision, it can do more harm than good. One such phrase is the distinction between head knowledge and heart knowledge.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/problem-head-knowledge-versus-heart-knowledge/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Most marriage problems are not communication problems. They are repentance problems. When husbands and wives learn how to practice biblical repentance, conflict becomes the doorway to humility, forgiveness, and deeper relational intimacy.Read, Watch, Listen:Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Where do you begin when it comes to establishing and building friendships? May I suggest that you start with an uber-honesty with God? Building relationally with others should always begin with the Lord. Start by telling Him what He already knows about you. If you are married, you want to bring your spouse into these intimate and vulnerable moments with the Lord. Most of us have a secret world of shame, hurt, pain, and dread. With baby steps, you begin sharing your vulnerable self with those you trust.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/thoughts-on-how-to-build-with-each-other-relationally/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
How do you stay true to what you believe while not offending those who aren’t willing to get on board with your perspectives and practices? What if you have a weaker brother or sister whom you can’t correct? Does the weakest link in the relationship determine how things will be? When do you take a stand for what you believe; when do you capitulate to the other person? There are always two ditches in these types of relationships. You aim to stay out of both of them. In one, you cater to the person because you don’t want to offend them, or you could bull your way through without caring for the other person. Let me illustrate.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-to-love-a-difficult-person-without-them-controlling-you/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Every couple experiences conflict, but arguments are rarely about the issue on the surface. Conflict reveals what we love, what we fear, and what we believe will make us happy. When husbands and wives misunderstand the purpose of conflict, they either avoid it, escalate it, or weaponize it against one another. In this session, we will explore why conflict happens, what it exposes in the heart, and how the gospel provides a pathway for restoration, humility, and deeper intimacy in marriage.Read, Watch, Listen:Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Building a close network of friends inside a local church is one of the most challenging things you’ll ever do. Will you consider how you could position yourself for this kind of community? Let's begin with a word cloud. As you scan my list of words, what is the common denominator that connects all of them? There are probably several excellent answers. What would you say is the one thing that ties all of these words together?Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/three-keys-to-make-your-small-group-dynamic/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Is your small group living in-depth, transparent, intentional, reciprocating lives who have strong desires to change personally and as a group? Perhaps it’s a men’s group or a community group of ladies. It could be a mixed group that meets to go over the sermon or a book. How would you describe those gatherings? One of the most significant pitfalls that can stagnate any community group is shallowness, which implies there is no transformative force in the individual lives and a growing frustration among some of the participants due to the general shallowness of the group.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-revolutionary-cure-for-shallow-small-group-frustration/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
When couples say they have a communication problem, they are usually looking for techniques to improve how they talk. But communication struggles begin in the heart. New habits will only produce temporary improvement. In this session, we will explore how the gospel transforms the heart so that couples can move from talk trouble to genuine biblical koinonia—a shared life of honesty, humility, and grace.Watch: https://lifeovercoffee.com/ep-570-from-talk-trouble-to-koinonia/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Would it be better to have a Bible or a mentor? You might think my question is a trick question, though it is not meant to be. The potential dilemma is intended to provoke you to think first, respond second, and discuss thoroughly. The obvious answer to the question is both. The Bible does not say the Bible alone is all you need to change. The Bible does not suggest that all you need is a discipler. At different times and in different ways, the Bible makes a case for both of these options to be part of a person’s overall soul care package. Actually, the Bible teaches that there are five ways a person can change.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/which-do-you-need-for-your-maturity-a-bible-or-a-mentor/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Sometimes in life, you have to get into a conflict with someone. This dreaded reality is not a wish, desire, or prayer request but rather a common-sense perspective that comes with living in a sin-cursed world. It is impossible to have two or more humans living close to each other for an extended period and not have relational conflict. Sin does not accommodate our desires for peace or present a path of least resistance. Dealing with reality is a better starting point than pretending that bad things will never happen.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/there-are-times-when-you-have-to-get-into-conflict/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Marriage is hard. That may not sound spiritual, but it’s certainly biblical. From the moment sin entered the garden, marriage has been both a battlefield and a blessing. And if you’ve ever tried to love someone as much as you love yourself, you know the cost. That’s why this book matters. In Marriage or Mayhem?, I offer more than principles—I offer a framework, a theology, and a map. With years of experience counseling couples in crisis and equipping churches to disciple well, I learned a few things about getting beneath the surface. I name the real problems—idolatry, self-centeredness, functional theology—and bring the only real solution: Christ at the center.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-eleven-marriage-or-mayhem-marriage-defined/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
The title sounds careless and possibly scary, but before you blow a gasket, let me ask, “Have you reached sinless perfection yet?” We can pretend there is a secret in all our lives, but the truth is that it is not a secret at all: we still sin against God and each other. We might love God and others as we love ourselves, but we most certainly sin against God and others, too. This undeniable truth is a call to action to prepare for the inevitable. Like a wise financial steward who knows hard times are coming, he budgets for those difficult days.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/budget-sin-into-your-small-group-experience/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Your friends are deeply distressed about the sudden change in their teenage son’s behavior. Once known for his gentle demeanor, he is now withdrawn, frequently angry, and openly disrespectful toward them. Their concern deepens when they discover, after persistent questioning, that their son has been engaging in self-harming behaviors, specifically cutting.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-bug-off-an-angry-teen/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
There is a common rhetorical move in contemporary trauma-informed care conversations that sounds compassionate on the surface but is deeply reductionistic underneath. It frames care in terms of a binary: instead of asking, “What is wrong with you?” we should ask, “What has happened to you?” That contrast is often presented as enlightened and humane. The first question is portrayed as accusatory, shaming, harsh. The second is portrayed as empathetic, validating, and safe. That binary is not only simplistic; it is misleading.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-569-the-false-choice-in-trauma-informed-care/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Mable and Biff have enjoyed a beautiful relationship during their seven years of marriage. They have two children, ages five and two. However, Mable is facing a challenging situation with her mother, who has been pressuring her to spend more time with her during the week. Mable’s father is passive, and her mother has always been the dominant figure in the home.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-do-i-honor-my-older-parents/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Biff and Mable adopted Biffina when she was a toddler, bringing her into their family with high hopes and good intentions. Now, years later, Mable has begun referring to Biffina as her “practice child,” a term that reflects her frustration and disappointment over Biffina’s rebellious behavior. In contrast, Mable describes their biological daughter, Biffette, as easier to parent, further widening the relational gap between the family members.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-practice-parenting-with-adoptive-kids/
Show Notes: Rick Thomas interviews Jonathan Tepper, the author of Shooting Up: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Addiction, a coming-of-age memoir set in Madrid’s San Blas neighborhood during Spain’s heroin and AIDS crisis. Raised by missionary parents who founded a drug rehabilitation center at the height of the epidemic, Tepper tells a gritty, lyrical story of addiction, recovery, faith, and loss, as seen through the eyes of an American boy growing up in the middle of it.Watch or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-568-jonathan-tepper-shooting-up-a-memoir-of-love-loss-and-addiction/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Mable laments, “This is not what I signed up for,” reflecting her deep regret over their 11-year marriage. Their relationship has stagnated, feeling more like two individuals cohabiting than a unified partnership. Biff spends his time at work with his friends while Mable escapes into her routines, often turning to cyber friends on social media for connection.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-no-more-fun-with-biff-and-mable/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Mable feels trapped in a marriage where her husband, Biff, has emotionally and relationally checked out. His indifference has tempted her to find self-worth through a series of surrogate husbands, such as achievements, ministry, and activities, none of which have provided the fulfillment she craves. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-confession-of-an-imposters-wife/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – This episode celebrates God’s sovereign hand in America’s founding by telling the often-overlooked story of Cynthia Scott—a woman whose quiet faith, courage, and conviction shaped history behind the scenes. Rather than political nostalgia or cultural noise, the conversation calls listeners to see America’s origins through a biblical lens, recognizing how ordinary believers trusted God, acted faithfully, and left a legacy that still matters today.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-567-cynthia-scott-celebrating-god-americas-founder/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Biff has battled drug addiction for the past 23 years, repeatedly promising Mable that he would quit. Each time, remorse follows his failures, but his empty assurances have left Mable growing increasingly impatient and disillusioned.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-the-addict-and-his-wife/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
When asked why she sought counseling, Mable explained that her teenage daughter was in rebellion. However, she was caught off guard when the counselor redirected the conversation to the state of their marriage—wondering why he would begin there.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/trouble-teen/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – In this episode, I sit down with Elizabeth Urbanowicz, founder of Foundation Worldview, to talk honestly and practically about how parents can disciple their children in a sexualized and confused culture—without fear, shame, or avoidance.Watch or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-566-elizabeth-urbanowicz-helping-your-kids-know-gods-good-design/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Five years ago, Mable and Biff had a whirlwind dating relationship. They were impure, though they rationalized their behavior by marrying hastily. Friends expressed concerns but chose not to intervene, as the couple kept their distance from caring relationships.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-the-spear-you-sharpen-may-stab-you-in-the-heart/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Mable has left Biff after 24 years of marriage, citing patterns of ongoing anger, four episodes of physical abuse, mental manipulation, devaluing behavior, and public embarrassment in front of their five children. She also pointed to Biff’s unwillingness to seek help as evidence of his lack of desire to change.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-what-about-biff/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Main Idea – In this episode, we’re taking an honest look at a subtle but serious drift in how biblical counseling is sometimes applied—specifically, the quiet replacement of parenting with counseling. What starts with good intentions can easily move into territory that undermines the very structure God put in place for child formation: the home. Together, we’ll explore the differences between counseling and parenting, the limitations of counseling young children, and how counselors can serve families without displacing parents’ authority and responsibility. We’ll also touch on the vital role extended family and mentors play in the lives of teens and how faithfulness, not efficiency, is the metric for change.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-565-when-biblical-counseling-replaces-parenting/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
This Thanksgiving is a particularly challenging milestone for Biff—it is his first holiday without his wife and children. Earlier this year, his 17-year marriage to Mable ended after years of mediocrity and unresolved conflict. Mable has custody of their three teenage sons, who blame Biff for the divorce.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-thanks-thanksgiving/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Mable recently discovered that her husband, Biff, has been living in adultery for over five years. The shocking revelation came after she found a bar receipt in his wallet, which led to confrontation, further investigation, and confirmation of the affair.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-the-sinning-victim/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Marriage is hard. That may not sound spiritual, but it’s certainly biblical. From the moment sin entered the garden, marriage has been both a battlefield and a blessing. And if you’ve ever tried to love someone as much as you love yourself, you know the cost. That’s why this book matters. In Marriage or Mayhem?, I offer more than principles—I offer a framework, a theology, and a map. With years of experience counseling couples in crisis and equipping churches to disciple well, I learned a few things about getting beneath the surface. I name the real problems—idolatry, self-centeredness, functional theology—and bring the only real solution: Christ at the center.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-five-marriage-or-mayhem-reclassified-desires/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Sylvia has attended a large church in Galveston, TX, for 14 months but feels disconnected despite her efforts and consistent attendance. She has not developed meaningful relationships and struggles to feel part of the community. Her mother, Mrs. Avery, believes that the church’s size is the problem and has encouraged Sylvia to consider attending a smaller one. However, Sylvia is uncertain whether her difficulty lies in the size of the church or her hesitancy to engage.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/i-cant-connect-with-my-local-church/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Mable, a 59-year-old Christian woman, comes to you for counseling after enduring decades of profound suffering. Ten years ago, her second son was murdered by his wife, who shot him five times. Despite the brutality of the crime, the wife received only 300 hours of community service. Adding to the anguish are the lies during the trial, and a life insurance payout to the wife’s daughter—from a previous marriage—deepened her sense of injustice and betrayal.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/she-buried-her-son-10-years-ago/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Marriage is hard. That may not sound spiritual, but it’s certainly biblical. From the moment sin entered the garden, marriage has been both a battlefield and a blessing. And if you’ve ever tried to love someone as much as you love yourself, you know the cost. That’s why this book matters. In Marriage or Mayhem?, I offer more than principles—I offer a framework, a theology, and a map. With years of experience counseling couples in crisis and equipping churches to disciple well, I learned a few things about getting beneath the surface. I name the real problems—idolatry, self-centeredness, functional theology—and bring the only real solution: Christ at the center.Read, Watch, Listen: lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-four-ma…-for-suffering/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Biff, a newlywed and a member of your church, comes to you for counseling. His wife, Mable, comes from a family with deep roots in the local church. She grew up attending Christian schools and is now a teacher at the church school. Their relationship was well-known and celebrated within the church community. After two years of courtship, the congregation rejoiced when Biff and Mable announced their engagement and subsequent marriage.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/past-sex-thoughts-in-current-marriage-2/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Mable, a 25-year-old solid Christian, comes from a strong Christian family and is active in her gospel-centered church. She has recently entered a relationship with Biff, a 29-year-old Christian who has been divorced for three years.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-mable-marries-the-divorced-guy/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Marriage is hard. That may not sound spiritual, but it’s certainly biblical. From the moment sin entered the garden, marriage has been both a battlefield and a blessing. And if you’ve ever tried to love someone as much as you love yourself, you know the cost. That’s why this book matters. In Marriage or Mayhem?, I offer more than principles—I offer a framework, a theology, and a map. With years of experience counseling couples in crisis and equipping churches to disciple well, I learned a few things about getting beneath the surface. I name the real problems—idolatry, self-centeredness, functional theology—and bring the only real solution: Christ at the center.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-three-marriage-or-mayhem-meaning-and-significance/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Biff is a popular ministry leader whose love for his work has overshadowed his responsibilities in his marriage and with his children. This dualistic life has led to a fractured family and a dissatisfied wife. For years, Biff has lived a dual life—privately struggling with sin and neglecting his family while publicly portraying himself as a Christlike example to his local church.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-unholy-trinity-man-ministry-marriage/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
As a Christian counselor working in a parachurch organization, we often receive referrals from local churches to counsel their members. These referrals sometimes reveal troubling dynamics between the counselees and their churches.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/counselees-and-the-local-church/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Marriage is hard. That may not sound spiritual, but it’s certainly biblical. From the moment sin entered the garden, marriage has been both a battlefield and a blessing. And if you’ve ever tried to love someone as much as you love yourself, you know the cost. That’s why this book matters. In Marriage or Mayhem?, I offer more than principles—I offer a framework, a theology, and a map. With years of experience counseling couples in crisis and equipping churches to disciple well, I learned a few things about getting beneath the surface. I name the real problems—idolatry, self-centeredness, functional theology—and bring the only real solution: Christ at the center.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-two-marriage-or-mayhem-purposes-for-marriage/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Biff’s friend, Bert, is known for being a practical joker. Bert's sense of humor is a strength that has endeared him to many, but like most strengths, it has become his greatest weakness. Bert rarely allows for serious conversations, leaning heavily on verbal sparring through sarcasm and mocking, which always dominates the conversations. Being with Bert is like a competitive event, often putting others down in front of their peers.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-freddie-the-flesh-cutter/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
The news of Biff and Mable’s teenage daughter’s pregnancy sent shockwaves through their local church. In response, the pastors recommended marriage counseling, which you agreed to provide. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-present-but-not-accounted-for/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Biff is seeking counseling after his wife, Mable, discovered inappropriate searches on their home computer. Initially, Biff denied any wrongdoing, claiming ignorance. However, the browser history revealed hundreds of ungodly links, leaving no room for doubt. Since they are the only ones with access to the computer, the responsibility clearly rests on Biff.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-his-confession-was-not-greater-than-what-others-knew/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Mable struggles with deep insecurity masked by self-righteousness. Her desire for perfection and a craving for others’ approval distort her relationships with both God and those closest to her. Her family is well aware of her tendencies but feels unable to address them because Mable is not humble enough to receive feedback about her faults.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-your-high-standards-tempt-me-to-lie/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Forgiveness often seems impossible when the offense is deep, the pain is fresh, or reconciliation feels unsafe. But biblical forgiveness isn’t about forgetting, excusing, or instantly trusting again. It’s about releasing the debt—just as Christ released ours. In this gospel-centered webinar, Rick Thomas reframes forgiveness as an act of worship, not a concession to the offender, helping us see how freedom begins when we entrust justice to God.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-564-webinar-unforgiveness-and-the-gospel/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Biffina, in her 30s, represents many lonely people who have faced the long-term effects of childhood sexual abuse. Biffina, also like so many others, has interpreted her childhood trauma through a lens of self-condemnation. As a result, she now struggles with identity, relationships, and viewing herself biblically.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-the-abused/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Mable, a nineteen-year-old, grew up in a tumultuous home. Her father’s instability, expressed through pouting and anger-laced outbursts, created an environment of fear, insecurity, and unpredictability. She vividly recalls curling up in a fetal position at night, listening to her parents argue.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-mables-search-for-self-esteem/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Anger is more than a behavior problem—it’s a worship issue. In this powerful webinar, The Heart of Anger: What It Costs, What It Reveals, Rick Thomas exposes the hidden motivations behind both explosive outbursts and silent treatments. Learn how to move past surface-level management and address the root of anger at the heart level through a gospel-centered lens.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-563-webinar-the-heart-of-anger-what-it-costs-what-it-reveals/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Mable described her marriage in deeply painful terms, saying she feels like a prostitute. She went on to admit that she uses intimacy as a tool to manipulate her husband while he reacts to his unmet desires with pouting or anger. Their relationship is caught in a destructive cycle of sinful behaviors, leaving her feeling hopeless and unsure of how to move forward.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-case-of-the-christian-prostitute/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Three years ago, Biff and Mable became Christians. Biff, 38, and Mable, 39, joined a church shortly after their conversion and began engaging with their community. A year later, Biff expressed his desire to serve on the church's elder board. The church leaders initiated an assessment phase to evaluate his qualifications for leadership.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/meds-and-more/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Marriage is hard. That may not sound spiritual, but it’s certainly biblical. From the moment sin entered the garden, marriage has been both a battlefield and a blessing. And if you’ve ever tried to love someone as much as you love yourself, you know the cost. That’s why this book matters. In Marriage or Mayhem?, I offer more than principles—I offer a framework, a theology, and a map. With years of experience counseling couples in crisis and equipping churches to disciple well, I learned a few things about getting beneath the surface. I name the real problems—idolatry, self-centeredness, functional theology—and bring the only real solution: Christ at the center.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-one-marriage-or-mayhem-marriage-asunder/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – In this powerful conversation, Rick Thomas interviews biblical counselor and author Rachel Coyle about her mini-book, Help! She’s Struggling with Pornography. Rachel shares why she wrote the book, how pornography uniquely affects women, and why framing the struggle biblically—as slavery to sin and idolatry—offers lasting hope through Christ. If you’re looking for compassionate, gospel-centered clarity on this often-ignored topic, this episode is essential.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-562-rachel-coyle-help-shes-struggling-with-porn/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Biff, a 42-year-old husband and father, believes the Lord is calling him to pursue a biblical counseling ministry. Seven years into his Christian walk, Biff is zealous about helping others through the transformative power of the gospel. His marriage is stable, and his wife supports his desire to serve. However, both Biff and Mable come from dysfunctional family backgrounds, which continue to influence aspects of their family dynamics.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-the-aspiring-counselor-wannabe/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Mable has been the go-to person in her church, admired for her dedication to ministry and known for her willingness to serve. Whether counseling, teaching Bible studies, or leading events, Mable is always available and dependable. However, behind the scenes, her home life is far from the ideal picture that her public ministry portrays.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-darker-side-of-mable-the-ministry-mom/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Do you enjoy God? You know, like a good movie or a nice dinner. After a long day, you’re looking for a pleasant escape to something you enjoy. Is God at the top of your “things I enjoy the most” list? My wife was not that way for several decades. Because of her longstanding relationship with legalism, God was not as satisfying as He could have been, so other options competed for her affections. I’m not suggesting she lived in rebellion; she did not. She loved God as much as she knew how to love Him.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/my-wife-is-enjoying-god-finally/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Biff refuses to engage in meaningful conversation with his wife, Mable, often going weeks with only what she calls his “efficiency speech.” He speaks to her only to address logistical or practical matters of the home but avoids all intimate interaction, relationship building, and mutual care.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-silent-partner/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Biff, a rising junior at a local Christian college, is struggling with pornography and masturbation. These temptations began when he was 12 years old, introduced to him by a friend. At the time, Biff found it strange but stimulating, though he was unaware of the addictive nature of what his friend encouraged him to do.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/if-i-tell-the-truth-my-christian-college-will-expel-me/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Sometimes “extending grace” may mean you’re about to get into conflict with someone. Though you should never look for a fight, you should also not be looking for ways to avoid redemptive moments when it is within your competency and context to help someone who is struggling. Avoidance, masked as peacekeeping, is not peacemaking. Love speaks the truth—graciously, patiently, redemptively—but it speaks (Ephesians 4:15).Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/hiding-behind-grace-to-avoid-the-hard-things/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Biff, a Certified Nutritionist and devoted father, is navigating the complexities of parenting children with a disease that suppresses their immune systems. While the children show no symptoms, Biff is highly aware that the bacteria in their bodies thrive on refined sugar. Determined to protect their health, he strictly avoids allowing his kids to consume sugar but occasionally compromises in social settings, leaving him overwhelmed with guilt and fear.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-the-fearful-parent/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Mable has endured the pain of her husband Biff’s infidelity. After months of counseling and repentance, Biff has committed to restoring his relationships with Mable, the Lord, and their children. Although not perfect, Biff has shown consistent effort and progressive change, demonstrating genuine repentance.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-i-will-forgive-but-never-forget/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Fundamentalism is one particular slice within the broader body of Christian evangelicalism. In addition to affirming the fundamentals of the faith, fundamentalists typically hold to strict, sub-biblical, ascetic practices that go beyond Scripture. Though they genuinely love Jesus and are passionate about following Him, many in this tradition embrace a form of legalistic, preference-driven Christianity. The negative effects of this kind of teaching are not only immediate but often generational. The impact carries forward, shaping minds, marriages, churches, and children.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-negative-effect-of-fundamentalism-on-the-soul/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Biff sought counseling for his anger and shared that his previous counselor suggested buying cheap plates to throw into the fireplace whenever he felt anger rising. Biff explained that the sound, the aim, and the shattering effect temporarily helped him vent his anger. The advice stemmed from the psychologist’s belief that anger operates like a hydraulic system: pressure builds inside, and releasing it prevents an “emotional explosion.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/cheap-plates-can-overcome-anger/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Mable struggles with the fear of man, often described as people-pleasing or codependency. Her functional theology is performance-driven, centering on earning approval from others rather than resting in Christ’s finished work. This exhausting lifestyle has left her broken and ready for change. While she is a believer, her faith feels more burdensome than joyful.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/poor-counseling-advice-you-need-to-please-god/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
There are instances—far more common than many would admit—when Christianity’s baggage can entrap a person, and they never even realize it. They never make the connection between their lack of consistent joy, their compulsive effort to control how others perceive them, and the longstanding, hidden flaws they’ve learned to manage in secret. These individuals genuinely love God, but the internal experience of their faith often feels more like an oppressive religion than the soul-liberating freedom that Christ promises to those who belong to Him. Mable was this person.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-god-delivered-an-entrapped-soul-from-christianitys-baggage/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Biff, a 32-year-old aspiring pastor, has anchored his identity in ministry rather than in Christ. His parents have perpetuated this mindset with a two-tier Christian belief system that elevates ministry work above other vocations. This perspective has driven Biff’s pursuit of pastoral leadership, even though his marriage with Mable is fraught with unresolved challenges.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-dont-tell-the-elders-or-ill-lose-my-job/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Biff, a 24-year-old, has cycled through seven jobs in five years and is currently unemployed. His pattern of chasing big plans and get-rich-quick schemes every few months reflects his passion for starting projects but a lack of discipline to see them through. While Biff’s charm and likability have endeared him to many, his growing reputation for being unreliable is causing friends and job opportunities to slip away.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-i-dont-know-what-to-do-with-my-life/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – In this episode, I talk with Molly Bertles—biblical counselor and author of You Are Not Alone: A Biblical and Hopeful Approach to Women Struggling with Masturbation. Molly shares her journey from hidden sin to gospel-centered transformation, offering clarity, compassion, and truth for women trapped in shame and silence. This conversation confronts misplaced worship, identity, and sexual desire with the hope and power of Christ.Watch or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/561-molly-bertles-counsel-for-women-struggling-with-masturbation/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Biff and Mable have sought biblical counseling after transitioning to their new church, following a recommendation from their previous pastor. The pastor noted Biff’s struggle to lead his wife, a concern that became evident during your first session.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-he-cannot-lead-his-wife/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Mable contacted a Christian counselor to address her dissatisfaction with her marriage. During her initial session, she made it clear that she wanted to leave her husband. She rationalized that their marriage had become unfulfilling after seven years, and she longed for the satisfaction and joy she felt when they first met and believed that she deserved it.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-i-want-out-of-this-marriage/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Question: Our leadership and pastoral staff have identified a need to support those in our midst who experience challenges with living in this world. If you were to launch a local biblical counseling ministry, what training or resources would you recommend? It would be most ideal to have curricula that could be completed in a group setting. Any tips or suggestions are welcome.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-560-nine-tips-for-launching-a-counseling-ministry-at-your-church/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Mable sought counseling with a specific request: under no circumstances should her pastor find out. Her insistence on anonymity is common among Christians today.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-dont-tell-anyone-im-in-counseling/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Mable is a perfectionist driven by an anxious need to be right. She holds herself and others to impossible standards, striving to present a carefully edited image she believes will earn acceptance, significance, and admiration. Mable’s fear of being wrong fuels a pattern of self-righteous criticism, blame-shifting, and rationalization. These behaviors help her deflect attention from her shortcomings and maintain control over how others perceive her.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-she-has-an-anxious-need-to-be-right/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – In this episode, Rick Thomas talks with Pastor Joby Martin about his book Stand Firm and Act Like Men and the urgent need for Biblical masculinity in today’s culture. Far from cultural stereotypes of passivity or toxic aggression, Joby explains how Scripture calls men to live as providers, protectors, prophets, priests, and servant kings—all under the lordship of Christ. Together, Rick and Joby unpack the traps that ensnare men—pride, anxiety, laziness, isolation, and lust—and the crucial role of accountability through what Joby calls “mat carriers.” They also address how women can encourage rather than correct, why technology is one of the greatest threats to family life, and how the Church must avoid softening or distorting masculinity. This conversation calls men to bend the knee to Jesus before they can stand firm in strength and love.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-559-joby-martin-stand-firm-and-act-like-men/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Biff and Mable have been married for 17 years, but their covenant relationship has been fraught with challenges for much of that time. They have two teenage sons who are nearing adulthood, and the prospect of an empty nest leaves Mable filled with dread. As she considers her future, she realizes she knows very little about Biff, and what she does know discourages her.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/are-you-certified/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Mable is consumed with her appearance, weight, and food choices. She frequently fasts, not out of a heartfelt desire to glorify God with her body or soul, but as a means to control her image and find approval. Contradictions mark her conversations—she often projects self-righteousness in her discipline yet also reveals deep insecurity through her comparisons to others.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-when-thin-is-in/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – An anxious heart is not merely a soul issue to manage, but a discipleship opportunity to shepherd the heart—guiding our children (and ourselves) to trust in the steadfast love of God rather than the shifting sands of circumstance.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-558-giving-hope-to-anxious-hearts/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Biff is an angry man whose temper has caused significant issues in his marriage. Two weeks ago, Mable gave him an ultimatum: seek help or face the end of their marriage. In response, Biff reluctantly attended church with Mable last Sunday—the first time in over 11 years.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-when-prayer-kills-a-church/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Mable presented herself as an ideal counselee: open, honest, and seemingly eager for change. In your first session, she shared her struggles with remarkable transparency, leaving no detail uncovered. Her vulnerability moved you, and her apparent willingness to receive correction quickly filled you with hope for genuine transformation. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-counseling-the-un-counsel-able/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Mable picked up the phone and started calling people at random. Somehow, she ended up with your number. Mable confessed she didn’t know why she was calling you but felt an inexplicable urge to do so. She began to share her sordid story: she was at the end of a complicated and frustrating life and felt hopeless.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-suicide/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Mable has struggled with insecurity her entire life. Her earliest memories involve her parents' consistent displeasure with her, valuing her outward appearance in social contexts over her well-being. This fear-driven parenting model shaped Mable's need to prove herself and escape the feelings of inadequacy instilled by her parents. After you toss in Adamic shame, it was a crippling double-whammy.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-nagging-wife/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Legalism is a complex subject. It stirs passionate responses from many Christians. If you’re in a legalistic culture, it’s hard to get out. If you did come out of it, it’s typical to overreact by going to anti-rule excesses. What began as an honest desire to follow God often morphs into a joyless, graceless, exhausting attempt to perform. Gospel-centered living is not ruleless living; it’s freedom rooted in love and wisdom.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/legalism-is-a-fear-based-culture-that-leads-to-a-complex-life/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Mable, at 28, was single and deeply desired marriage. She had a degree, a great job, and a seemingly full life, but she felt an emptiness that she attributed to her singleness. Marriage, in her mind, was the next milestone she longed to achieve. You might say that Mable was the epitome of a goal-oriented lady.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/exchanging-prisons-from-singleness-to-marriage/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Biffina is 18 years old, the oldest of four children in a close-knit Christian family. Her parents, Biff and Mable, have consistently taught their children God’s Word and modeled it faithfully. The children have embraced their parents’ teaching, and no significant issues have arisen within the family.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/to-date-or-not-to-date/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Pursuing holiness is not legalism. Living as a committed, obedient, and disciplined follower of Christ does not mean one is trapped in legalism. When something harmful or wrong occurs—especially something as destructive as legalism—the appropriate response is not to swing the pendulum in the opposite direction. An overreaction to a bad thing often creates an equally bad thing.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-benefits-of-legalism/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Shows Main Idea – Dying to self is the most painful and ongoing task the Christian will ever face. It’s not a single moment of surrender at the altar or a tear-filled confession at a retreat—it is a continual, lifelong submission to the will of God. It is the daily call to lay down our rights, our self-reliance, our perceived strength, and our functional savior of autonomy. But there is good news: God does not leave us to accomplish this death alone. He is actively, patiently, and purposefully working in the background of our lives, undermining every form of self-sufficiency so that we might trust Him more deeply. In His mercy, He systematically dismantles our illusion of control and replaces it with the deeper reality of dependence on Christ. Yes, this means that at times, the Lord will sabotage our self-reliance. He will put to death the idol of self-salvation. Why? So that we might learn to rely not on ourselves, but on God who raises the dead (2 Corinthians 1:9). That’s the heart of gospel transformation: not the removal of weakness, but the divine use of weakness to reveal His strength. Let me explain.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-556-boasting-in-weakness-a-primer/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Mable is a highly successful woman who has achieved much in her career and personal life. She is married to Biff, and together, they share a strong faith and a stable marriage. However, despite her many accomplishments, Mable struggles with persistent procrastination, particularly when it comes to tasks that require personal discipline or have less accountability. This recurring problem has caused tension in her marriage and added stress to her daily life.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/procrastination/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
As we conclude this series, we will focus on the most crucial aspect of your life—the one thing that should shape every decision, every action, and every relationship. The question is simple and yet it is profound: What is your ultimate motive for all you do in life? Perhaps you could think of it as a mission statement. Listen to the great apostle.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-31-teen-devotion-whatever/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – In this episode, I’m diving into something that’s quietly shaping our thoughts, our relationships, and even our sanctification—the digital world. Whether we recognize it or not, the cyber world is forming us. It’s not just neutral content floating in cyberspace; it’s a cultural pull, competing for our hearts, time, and devotion. I’m going to explore this cyber effect, not as a secular psychology study, but as a biblical framework for evaluating the impact of technology on the soul. I’ll walk through nine specific effects—from the way devices impact real-life relationships, to how social media shapes identity, to the slow drift away from the local church. This episode isn’t about throwing away your phone or deleting every app. It’s about re-centering your heart on Christ, so you’re not swept along by the current of online culture. Psalm 19 tells us that God’s Word restores the soul and makes the simple wise. That’s our aim. Let’s bring God’s Word to bear on cyberspace so that we can love God more deeply and others more intentionally—even in a digital age.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-555-the-cyber-effect-nine-ways-technology-shapes-us/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Let’s uncover and discover one of the most powerful tools God has given you for growth: repentance. The typical Christian understands repentance as something that happens at salvation, but its role in sanctification—your ongoing transformation—is often overlooked. The Christian life is repentance at salvation and ongoing repenting in our progressive sanctification.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-30-teen-devotion-secret-weapon/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
I want to re-evaluate a prior devotion and rethink the cultural message of self-esteem. While the world tells you to focus on yourself to find freedom, the Bible teaches a counterintuitive truth: the path to freedom is found in thinking less about yourself and more about God and others.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-29-teen-devotion-self-esteem/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Forgiveness is not a sentimental release of offense; it’s a Christ-exalting act of worship. In this episode, I will unpack why biblical forgiveness is essential for the church, for families, and for the good of your own soul. Drawing from the gospel model, I’ll explore the difference between attitudinal and transactional forgiveness, examine common misconceptions that blur the process, and explain how rightly practiced forgiveness protects unity and glorifies God. If you’ve ever struggled to know how to forgive—especially when the offender won’t repent—this episode will give you a clear, gospel-shaped roadmap.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-554-why-we-must-forgive-and-how-to-do-it/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Let’s talk about love—not the kind that looks like an empty love cup but the kind that reflects God’s character by giving and serving in a way that glorifies Him. Love is a communicable attribute, a gift that God has communicated (given) to us. Thus, we can love well, but due to our fallenness, loving well can turn inward, self-focused, and distorted.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-28-teen-devotion-reason-love/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Learning to overcome our all-time and number one problem and the cultural myth of self-reliance is vital for a robust Christian life. Self-sufficiency is a synonym for unbelief, choosing to rely on ourselves instead of the Lord. The truth is that no one can live completely independent of God—not even Jesus lived that way.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-27-teen-devotion-self-sufficiency-myth/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – I often get asked about our next speaking engagement—as if speaking from a stage is central to our ministry. It’s not. In this episode, I want to walk you through our philosophy of public speaking and why we don’t model our approach after the typical speaker circuit. For me, speaking is not a performance or platform-building opportunity—it’s about long-term discipleship and real relationships. I don’t have a few canned messages that I drop into a new location every weekend. Instead, we serve churches through a slow, intentional process that begins months before the conference and often continues for years afterward. We don’t stay in hotels. We live with the people. We eat with them, learn from them, adapt our content to their lives, and build connections that last. This episode unpacks our convictions around sanctification, discipleship, and the church—and why relational ministry, not performance ministry, is our model.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-553-a-relational-philosophy-for-local-church-engagement/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Overcoming the fear of others disapproval is a universal struggle for those who base their identity on what others think of them. When we act like this, we give others power over us. We’re nothing more than puppets on a string, always managed by the fickle approval of others. The Bible calls this the fear of man, but you might recognize it better as peer pressure, codependency, or insecurity.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-26-teen-devotion-opinions-others/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Today’s focus is a sensitive but vital topic: sex before marriage. God’s design for physical intimacy is within the context of marriage, and stepping outside that design can lead to long-lasting consequences in your spiritual, emotional, and relational life (Hebrews 13:4).Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-25-teen-devotion-sex-marriage/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Many people struggle with decision-making. The most crucial question you can ask yourself when making a decision is this: Am I in faith to do this? In other words, do you believe that what you’re considering is the right thing to do? Are you sure? Is this God’s will? Is your faith greater than your doubts?Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-24-teen-devotion-make-decision-2/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
An essential first step in discipleship is how you view others. If your disappointment in people is greater than your desire to help them, your ability to disciple effectively will run into many hindrances. Jesus had some strong language for those who made the log/speck mistake.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-23-teen-devotion-first-step-start/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Today’s focus is on a challenging but vital responsibility: discipling your parents. As a believer, you are called to disciple and evangelize those in your sphere of influence—and that includes your family. Being an adult means acting like an adult, which expects you to come alongside other adults, helping them in their relationship with God. To love God and love others as you love yourself implies caring well for all people, even those who have had authority over you.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-22-teen-devotion-disciple-parents/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
One of the most influential aspects of your life is your friendships. The relationships you keep play a significant role in shaping who you are and how you grow in your relationship with God. Though you can do many things alone, sanctification is not one of those things. If you want to mature in Christ, you need mature friends who have the grace and courage to spur you on to love and good deeds (Hebrews 10:24-25).Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-21-teen-devotion-describe-friendships/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Your conscience that God gave you acts as an internal moral thermostat. It’s your inner voice that sounds off when you have done well or poorly. Your conscience can be a powerful tool for aligning your life with God’s Word, but it can also become distorted if not biblically trained. The conscience is malleable. Let’s talk about how to care for and train your conscience so it reflects God’s truth—the ultimate sweet spot is when your inner voice and God’s Word are in tune.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-20-teen-devotion-voice-training/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Today’s topic touches on a question many struggle with: “Will God forgive me?” Thinking that the good Lord will not forgive us typically comes from an inward-focused, insecure person who needs a gospel recalibration: Who the Son has set free is free indeed (John 8:36). The gospel liberates us from all of our past sins, no matter how hideous or overwhelming they seem. Jesus has already completed the work of forgiveness—you don’t have to live under the weight of guilt any longer.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-19-teen-devotion-will-god-forgive/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
What makes someone good? Before you answer the question about yourself or a friend, I want you to consider this perspective. On the surface, it might seem easy to label someone as good or bad based on their behavior—an external examination, but God calls us to look deeper than outward appearances.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-18-teen-devotion-good-teen/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Five common traps many young adults face can hinder their growth and keep them from living the life God has for them. The good news is that recognizing these traps is the first step to avoiding them and finding freedom in Christ. I will share them with you in no particular order, though it would serve you well to order them according to how they apply to your life.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-17-teen-devotion-five-teen-traps/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
One of the most essential places for your spiritual growth is the local church. Outside of your home, the local church is the dearest place on earth for a believer because it’s where God’s people gather to worship, grow, and serve together. The church is not a building but a body of believers, whether it’s two gathered for fellowship or two thousand in an auditorium.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-16-teen-devotion-your-local-church/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Do you ever sense your life as a young adult is in a holding pattern—a time when you’re just waiting for life to begin? If so, you’re not alone. Some people act as though these early years are like an extended time out. It is a mindset that can lead to wasting valuable time. While you’re waiting to get your shot, here are eight things you can do to steward your time well and glorify God today. The key to remember is what you do today forms the foundation upon which your entire adult life will stand. If you procrastinate, as though life does not begin until later, you may develop the debilitating habit of procrastination.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-15-teen-devotion-while-youre-waiting-do-these/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Let’s reflect on God’s grace and its power to guide you through life’s challenges. Here is how I want to frame God’s grace for this devotion: No matter what you’re facing, God’s grace is sufficient, offering answers to your questions and untangling the messiest problems. The question then becomes: Where will you go from here—wherever you may be at this juncture in your journey with the Lord?Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-14-teen-devotion-where-to-go-from-here/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Today’s truth may not be easy to hear, but it’s crucial to understand: life is hard and doesn’t apologize. Fallenness is no respecter of persons, not even caring if you are a Christian. Everyone faces struggles, but what sets people apart is how they respond to their life challenges, which begs the question. Will you choose to complain and remain stuck in your trouble, or will you flip the script and become a difference-maker?Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-13-teen-devotion-life-is-hard/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
RISE Radio recently interviewed Rick Thomas of Life Over Coffee about his Substack article addressing the influence of Jordan Peterson. Peterson, though not a Christian, has garnered an unusually strong following within Christian circles—largely due to his moral clarity and psychological insights, many of which are shaped by Jungian philosophy rather than a biblical worldview. This curious devotion to a man outside the faith raises essential questions about discernment and the church’s appetite for cultural saviors. David, the host at RISE Radio, shares similar concerns and invited Rick to unpack why so many believers are drawn to Peterson’s message, and what this trend reveals about our theology, affections, and need for true gospel-centered leadership.Listen here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-552-jordan-petersons-concerning-influence-and-philosophies/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Let’s tackle a common cultural myth: the idea that being “cool” is the way to succeed. The truth is that chasing coolness is rarely fruitful. Instead, it often leads to dysfunctional relationships and a self-focused, enslaving way of life that demands that others notice, admire, and desire to be you. Perhaps it would serve all of us if we redefine what it means to be “cool” from a biblical perspective.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-12-teen-devotion-being-cool-is-not-the-path-to-success/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Let’s explore a topic that affects us all: the shaping influences in our lives—those things external to us that impact how we love God and others as we love ourselves. Specifically, how social media and other technologies shape the way we think, feel, and live.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-11-teen-devotion-social-media-is-not-real-life/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Today’s topic may sound harsh, but it’s an essential truth to embrace: life has winners and losers. I know that you know this, but I want to make it personal to you during this season of practical reflection. Participation trophies and grade inflation may soften the blow during childhood, but adulthood operates by a different set of rules. The self-esteem movement works hard to keep kids’ egos inflated, but life in a fallen world works harder, deflating our egos, making it imperative we know how to live well when fallenness falls on us.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-9-teen-devotion-life-has-losers-and-you-may-be-one/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Godly parents and educators ponder how they can practically help their child turn from being a foolish youth to becoming a wise lover of Christ (Proverbs 1:22-23). Though no parent can transform a child’s spiritual heart, all believing parents are called to discipline their children in wisdom so that God can convert them to be wise (Proverbs 1:8; 13:1). In this interview with Dr. Daniel Berger, you will find encouragement and clear direction as you parent your child, mature in friendship, and increase your skill as a biblical counselor.Watch or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-551-daniel-berger-discipling-a-fools-heart/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Your parents weren’t always boring. Believe it or not, they had lives, interests, and a lot more freedom before you came along. Here’s the truth: your parents’ lives changed dramatically the moment you entered the picture. It’s not that you’re a problem; I’m not saying that at all, but raising a child comes with enormous responsibility. Paying bills, doing laundry, and keeping up with your needs leave little time for the fun or spontaneity they had prior to having children. Their sacrifices are often invisible, but they are made out of love for you and the belief that their life is worth more than their former freedoms. Parenting is a picture of the gospel: giving up your freedom for the good of others.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-8-teen-devotion-your-parents-were-not-always-boring/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Today’s lesson is tough but essential: when you mess up, it’s no one’s fault but your own. It’s natural to want to blame others for our mistakes. Perhaps others are part of our mistakes or have influenced them. However, we cannot ignore our responsibility. We must not permit people’s problems to manage us. Adults struggle with owning their mistakes, so you’re not alone. But if your first instinct is to point fingers when things go wrong, it’s time to pause, recalibrate that mindset, and take responsibility. Owning your mistakes is a key step toward maturity and spiritual growth.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-7-teen-devotional-your-mistakes-are-yours/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
I want to share with you something many people overlook: the beauty of a mundane life. Your grandparents might have called it real life—the everyday, ordinary moments of living in an imperfect world. While the culture chases the next big thing, the spiritual person recognizes that even the most mundane moments are opportunities to glorify God. Hidden in the ordinary are the blessings that only a spiritual mind can see.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-6-teen-devotion-life-is-mundane/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
One of life’s great lessons is learning to respond well when you don’t get what you want—a challenge for 100 out of every 100 people. Coincidentally, if you think that not getting what you want is just something kids deal with, think again. Life is full of unmet expectations, and how you respond to those expectations now will shape your ability to handle the challenges ahead. The good news? Learning to respond humbly to disappointment is a key to living well in God’s world.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-5-teen-devotion-wait-until-you-get-a-boss/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Let’s confront a popular but harmful idea: self-esteem. Our culture teaches that we need to esteem and think highly of ourselves. While it’s true that you should see yourself as a unique individual created in God’s image—what we call the Imago Dei, self-esteem, as the world defines it—putting yourself first—is a trap that elevates you while diminishes others. This way of thinking leads to internal frustration, external pride, and ongoing disappointment.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-4-teen-devotion-forget-about-self-esteem/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Today’s topic might hit close to home: learning to accept that your parents aren’t perfect. It’s easy to agree that nobody’s perfect—until someone’s imperfections directly affect you. One of the most painful lessons I had to learn as a young adult was to accept my parents’ shortcomings. Our children are no different; they live with imperfect parents, which is not a justification but a fact of reality.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-3-teen-devotion-parents-arent-perfect/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – In this episode, we explore the crucial distinction between biblical counseling and secular psychology. Rick Thomas joins us to unpack the historical roots of counseling and to highlight the sufficiency of Scripture in addressing life’s deepest struggles. Far more than behavior modification, biblical counseling offers true, gospel-centered transformation.Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-550-phil-sessa-interviews-rick-thomas-on-biblical-counseling/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
One of life’s most challenging truths is unfairness. You’ve heard someone say, “It’s not fair!” in response to a disappointment. Maybe you’ve said it yourself. This frustration is natural because fairness aligns with how we think things should work. However, the reality is that life hasn’t been fair since Adam disobeyed God in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3:8-14). Adam’s fall unleashed sin and death into a world God originally designed to be perfect (Genesis 2:7-9). Ever since unfairness has been woven into the fabric of life (Romans 5:12).Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-2-teen-devotion-life-fair/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
The rest of your life does not come with summers off. In school, you get days off—snow days, holiday breaks, and long summer vacations. Many kids complain the summers need to be longer and school is too hard. But once they step into adulthood, the rhythm changes. There are no built-in summers off, and life becomes a long, steady mundane journey—one that ends only when you drop dead and step into eternity. This perspective might not sound very encouraging, but it’s actually an opportunity to rethink your mindset about work, rest, and the purpose of your life.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-10-teen-devotion-you-dont-get-time-off/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
As you embark on this 31-day journey, consider six essential truths about life, God, and yourself. These truths are not just ideas to ponder but steps toward a more Christ-centered life. Pick the one that seems most challenging and make a plan to change. I share these with you in no particular order.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-1-teen-devotion-lets-begin-the-journey/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Living a life honoring God requires a person to rest well. If you rest well, you will work well, and the other parts of your life will be satisfying, too. I suspect that most people in first-world countries do not have good rest habits and are unaware or unconcerned about the adverse effects of not resting well. So important is rest that without a sound theology and practice of rest, your work diminishes, and your relationships suffer. What is your theology of rest? How do work and rest intersect symmetrically, making you whole?Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/you-have-to-work-to-rest-if-you-ever-want-to-enjoy-this-gift/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Prayer is every believer’s desire and opportunity, but many Christians struggle to have a consistent and dynamic prayer life. That’s why I want to share eight practical tips to help and guide you as you think about one of the most crucial things we can do regarding our relationship with God. These thoughts are what I told a friend many years ago when he asked about praying well. Here is his original question.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/eight-ways-make-prayer-life-better/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Bridge Ministries of Laredo, Texas, recently hosted Rick and Lucia Thomas for an in-depth and encouraging interview that spotlighted the heart and mission of Life Over Coffee. In this rich conversation, Rick and Lucia share the journey that led them to establish Life Over Coffee, a global discipleship ministry designed to equip Christians with practical tools for addressing life’s real and messy challenges with the timeless truths of Scripture.Listen to the Podcast: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-548-bridge-ministries-interviews-rick-and-lucia-thomas/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
When you consider spiritual disciplines, where does fasting rank? Most Christians pray, read, and study their Bibles regularly. Praise God! Many engage in fellowship, discipleship, and evangelism. Yet, fasting often falls lower on the list of our practiced disciplines. Why is this? I propose fasting is among the most powerful spiritual disciplines a believer can adopt, impacting their lives in ways that prayer, Bible study, and fellowship alone cannot achieve. I also propose that the significance of fasting as a means of grace in the Christian life will challenge common misconceptions and encourage us to consider its place in our pursuit of holiness.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-the-gift-of-fasting-can-change-your-life/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – In this compelling interview, Dr. Daniel Berger joins Rick Thomas to unpack the whirlwind of response—both praise and pushback—that followed the release of his provocative book, The Schizophrenic Unicorn: Understanding the Diagnosis of Schizophrenia, The Centrality of Sleep, the Biopsychosocial Diagnostic Model of Mental and Considering a Practical and Proven Alternative Approach. Dr. Berger candidly addresses critics and reflects on how his work has been a breath of fresh air for many who feel stuck in the traditional mental health paradigm.Watch or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-549-daniel-berger-the-schizophrenic-unicorn-2-0/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
I have struggled with insomnia—intermittently—since 2003. It has been so long that I rarely talk about it unless someone asks. I resigned myself to insomnia as a way of life. My insomnia is like an unwanted friend who periodically shows up late at night. He makes his visits without warning. I can go for weeks with relatively good sleep, though I have probably not had a sound sleep the way a child enjoys sleep since I was a child.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/insomnia-causes-and-cures/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
The interplay between our physical and spiritual selves needs responsible engagement within the Christian community, especially how a conflict between two people can lead to diminishing health. I have counseled many spouses with declining health that often paralleled the sinful relationships with their spouses. In nearly every case, their spouses had corrupting speech patterns: demanding, angry, manipulative, controlling, and other forms of selfish anger, including relational passivity and neglect (Ephesians 4:29).Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-does-the-ongoing-sin-of-others-impact-our-physical-health/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Rose was a member of my small group. One night, she asked me what I thought about smoking cigarettes. I said, “It’s not what’s between your fingers that is a problem; it’s what is in your heart.” At that moment, the Lord did the miraculous. Over the next few months, her heart changed. I was oblivious to all these things. Months later, she shared with me what happened. Please enjoy her confession and praise to God.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/confession-of-a-former-cigarette-smoker/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
All external, behavioral idols have the same insidious root cause—unbelief, or its synonym, self-reliance. The self-reliant spirit is not trusting God. If you don’t deal with this universal heart problem, you could easily stop one sin while jumping to a different idol. Have you ever played “whack-a-mole” at an amusement center? It’s one of those games where plastic moles randomly pop up while you try to whack them with a rubber mallet before they retreat into their holes. You never know when or where one will pop up. As soon as you knock one down, another one jumps up.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/idol-swapping-i-stopped-looking-at-porn-but-gained-30-pounds/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Doing things without thinking about what we’re doing is one of God’s greatest favors to us. It is a communicable attribute. God has given us the ability to respond as sentient creatures to the mundane things of life so we can spend our time thinking about the vital things of life. Great habits—developed over time—free us to image God more effectively because they enable us to focus on what is essential for spreading His fame.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-blessing-of-doing-things-without-thinking/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
The New Testament provides three categories to help people think about and work through their temptations. Resolving debilitating short-term and life-long habits does not always happen the same way for all people. Not only are there different strokes for different folks, but there can be different strokes for each person depending on how a specific temptation causes them to stumble or stall. These three ways to overcome temptation and sin can overlap and intersect as you work through a recurring problem. Let’s take a look at each one.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-blessing-of-doing-things-without-thinking/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
One of the hardest things a Christian parent will ever experience is a child choosing not to walk with the Lord. Attached to this personal struggle is the temptation to force or manipulate righteousness on the child. You’ll know if you’re susceptible to these struggles if you are over-worrying, over-caring, or over-trying to get your child to change.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-31-you-cannot-change-your-children/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
If our children learn not to take themselves too seriously, it will be easier for them to live in relationships with others today and after they become adults. Not thinking too highly of yourself is to think humbly of yourself. A lack of gospel-centered humility keeps an individual from living well with God and others.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-30-teach-your-children-to-laugh-at-themselves/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Parents have the responsibility and privilege of guiding their children into a practical experience of knowing and loving God. Though all children are born with limited God awareness, you can cooperate with the Lord in connecting that immature, innate awareness of God in practical ways that could lead to their salvation and progressive sanctification.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-29-one-reason-children-rebel-against-their-parents/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Every loving parent wants their children to turn out well. However, they are also aware they have a role to play. Though God is the primary change agent, parents are secondary agents who must cooperate with the Lord to transform their children. Here are seven tips to help those parents.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-28-seven-point-checklist-to-have-fantastic-children/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
What do you hope your child will be after he grows up? Many Christians would say they hope their child loves God and others more than himself (Matthew 22:36-40). Those are two great goals, but what do they mean?Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-26-the-perfect-goal-for-your-child/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
When you think about your heavenly Father, you are immediately aware of His kindness, patience, forbearance, and affection for you. These thoughts about your heavenly Father are fundamental because how He treats you is how you are to treat others, especially your children.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-25-a-parents-secret-weapon-to-motivate-a-child-to-change/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
You cannot create unity from disunity. What is on the inside will come out on the outside. If disunity is in your marriage, disunity will flow out of it. If disunity characterizes your marriage, the likelihood of your children being relationally dysfunctional is strong.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-24-the-best-thing-some-parents-can-do-is-stop-parenting/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Parents love and care for their children, which is a good thing. Some parents over-care for their children, which is challenging, especially when their kids are not walking with the Lord. Many of these parents struggle as they rehearse all the ways they failed their children.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-23-i-failed-as-a-parent-now-what/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
The best way to learn how to be the best parent is to learn from the best parent. God, the Father, is the best parent the world has ever known. Understanding and applying His parenting to your family is one of the wisest things you can do.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/five-tips-from-the-best-parent-the-world-has-ever-known/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Two people can’t agree on everything completely. If you are married, you know this is true. Two fallen people living in proximity to each other will always have a few perspectives and preferences that will never be the same. It is unavoidable, and it does not have to be a bad thing.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-21-two-acceptable-conflicts-in-your-home/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Pragmatic parenting is a rule-based, heavily structured, and self-reliant methodology. Some of the family rules are good and biblical, while others are based on preferences and conveniences. It’s an unwise parenting model.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-20-the-danger-of-pragmatic-parenting/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
After all these years of counseling and all the trouble I’ve seen in people’s lives, it has become more real to me than ever how we need a better worldview and foundation on which to land when we fall. Learning how to fall well is God’s mercy to us.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-19-if-you-could-export-only-one-thing-to-your-child/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Teaching curse words, language use, biblical parenting, cultural engagement, redemptive speech, heart motives, child training, gospel-centered language, parental guidance, Christian worldview.It is impossible to engage our culture at any level and not hear curse words. Whether it is a television show or a stroll in the park, the words of our culture do not discriminate. They do not care who you are.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-18-the-wisdom-of-teaching-your-children-curse-words/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Introducing children to the world, biblical parenting, cultural awareness, gospel-centered parenting, sheltering vs. exposure, child training, spiritual preparedness, real-world engagement, parenting wisdom, family dynamics.The little people in your home will only be in your home for a nano-second. They may spend ninety percent of their lives outside of your parental jurisdiction. Equipping them to live well in the world that will make up nearly all of their earthly existence is wise.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-17-the-wisdom-of-introducing-your-children-to-the-world/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
A family with a gospel-centered view of sin experiences something that never crosses the mind of their culture. Once you tap into God’s grace at this level, sin is not a disadvantage but an opportunity to magnify God through your family’s imperfections. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us (1 John 1:8-10). Here is a short list of those advantages.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-16-the-wisdom-of-engaging-the-sin-in-your-family/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
How do you discipline your children? What if I asked the question from your child’s perspective? What is their experience with your corrective care? Biblical restorative care always begins with God. The Father is the one you want to imitate, especially when it comes to discipline (Ephesians 5:1).Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-15-parental-discipline-comes-from-a-heart-of-love/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
One of the most practical things a parent could do for their children is to love them just because. You don’t need a reason other than they are your kids. God loves you that way.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-14-love-your-children-just-cause/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
If a person’s parenting model primarily consists of bringing critique from a heart of personal frustration, the parent’s model needs to change. Biblical parents center their primary communication with their children on love, not criticism.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/a-biblical-perspective-on-critiquing-children/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – A small group is more than a meeting—it’s a place for transformation. Learn how to engage, grow, and build a gospel-centered community.Watch or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-543-webinar-small-group-leader-development/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Being authoritarian is a good thing because, as image-bearers, we want to emulate our Father. Thus, we must learn to live under God’s authority and learn how to model it. However, if authoritarianism is our only parenting method, it may scuttle our children’s individualized sanctification needs.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-12-rule-based-parenting-creates-dysfunctional-children/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Too often, parents with sinning children focus too quickly on the disruptive child as they overlook their reactions to their disappointing child. Here are two questions that will help you avoid this parenting problem: How would you describe your relationship with the Lord? How are you practically living that relationship out daily inside your home?Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-11-easy-way-to-disqualify-yourself-as-a-parent/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – When someone experiences deep betrayal at the hands of Christians, it can shake their faith to the core. They may wonder how God could allow such evil, why He did not intervene, and why those who did wrong seem to have escaped justice. These are honest struggles, and they should not be dismissed with shallow responses to hurtful people.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-542-when-christians-fail-you-trusting-god-in-the-aftermath-of-betrayal/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Mable couldn’t get a handle on her insecurity. Burdened by a failed marriage, teenage children in rebellion, and too many relational conflicts to count, she was frustrated, angry, and bewildered at how the same old things kept happening to her. Though she recognized she had a lifelong problem with anxiety, fear, and insecurity, she did not understand it or why it had such a stranglehold on her life.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-10-fussy-parents-make-insecure-children/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
A right heart attitude will create the right behaviors, but knowing and obeying all the rules does not mean the heart is good or even agrees with the actions. From the inside out is the Bible’s way to parent children, not merely outward assessments. Though regulations will give you the desired behaviors you pray for when your kid is young, those rules cannot change your child’s heart.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-9-give-your-child-fewer-rules-and-more-attitude/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
We were sitting at an intersection when our then 6-year-old daughter said, “Daddy, that Blues Clues paw print is orange.” This instance was the second time it happened with our children. Blues Clues was a once-popular kid’s program about a dog named Blue who would leave his paw print in different places during the show.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-8-dad-youre-the-first-picture-your-child-will-see-of-god-the-father/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
I had a conversation with our son when he was younger, sharing with him how he would be my replacement. It was a sobering thought. One day, our son will grow up and become a practical demonstration of what I have modeled for him. The good and the bad of my life work together to bring shape to his adult life.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-7-your-words-shape-your-childs-life/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Bradley Pierce is the president of the Foundation to Abolish Abortion, a constitutional attorney with nearly two decades of experience advocating for the right to life and has been instrumental in drafting legislation across more than 30 states to protect these vital rights, including numerous equal protection bills aimed at abolishing abortion. Rick had the privilege to interview Bradley his advocacy for the unborn, as well as fighting for the rights of Christians across America. Bradley is keenly aware of these vital matters and is able to break them down in a way few others can.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-540-bradley-pierce-fighting-for-the-pre-born-in-post-roe-america/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
You can only help a child if he wants help. If your child is not serious about change, your care for him will have a limited impact. Your primary parental role is waiting on the Lord as He brings your child to an end of himself.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-6-before-you-can-help-your-child-you-must-wait/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Jesus was clear when He said that you must follow Him if you want to walk in the light. The opposite is also accurate: if you do not follow Him, the only option is dark. Every relational construct has followers and leaders, which begs the question, who is the head of your home?Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-5-the-orientation-of-the-home/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Christians enjoy and benefit from the gospel because of forgiveness (See Romans 10:9, 13). For example, we confessed our sins and requested forgiveness, and our kind Lord forgave us. Confession, forgiveness, and reconciliation are the stepping stones to happiness (Deuteronomy 33:29). If you want a happy home, you must imitate God at this crucial point (Ephesians 5:1).Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-3-non-negotiable-first-step-to-build-a-happy-home/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Parenting & Pornography is a masterclass-style video series developed by Into The Light Ministries. Its purpose is to equip parents with biblical tools to nurture children of integrity who embrace God’s design for sexuality while resisting pornography. This series is free for families and churches, offering a theologically rich, practical, and gospel-centered approach to addressing sensitive topics in a family context.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-538-jacob-valk-parenting-and-prnography-the-masterclass/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Quality parenting, strong marriages, marital unity, biblical marriage, communication in marriage, teamwork in parenting, spiritual leadership, Christian parenting, family dynamics, relational health.The Bible is not a parenting book, which is why it gives so little parenting advice. It is a relationship book. Rather than providing you with parenting tips, it provides you with a plethora of information about how to have great relationships within any community construct, whether it’s marriages, families, churches, businesses, friends, or neighbors.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-2-quality-parenting-comes-from-good-marriages/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
The parenting goal is to release your child into adulthood as an individual living under God’s authority for His glory. This parenting process happens in three stages: Dependent Stage—0 to 2, Interdependent Stage—2 to 22, and Independent Stage—22+.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-1-parenting-from-zero-to-adulthood/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Biblical parenting incrementally releases children from your rules and authority while placing them under the most influential governing dynamic known to humanity—to love God and others supremely. If your child’s heart is motivated and governed by those two truths, and you help him to embrace that kind of affection for God and neighbor, you will serve your child well.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-4-two-rules-every-parent-must-teach-their-children/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Marriage counseling has historically been the most common type of counseling I have done, which makes sense because the marriage relationship is unique in that there is not supposed to be an escape clause. Marriage is for life. This fact makes marriage the perfect context for relationship sharpening. There are times when counseling is essential because of the fallenness of the couple and the need for community. If your marriage is bad, you more than likely are doing some of the following things. These are some of the most oft-repeated mistakes I have seen in poor marriages.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/ten-tips-to-kill-your-marriage/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Some husbands and wives can have a hard time putting a broken marriage back together. Typically, expectations and disappointments create a backlog of unresolved conflict. Unforgiveness sets in, the death toll to any relationship. When a couple gets to this point, pride becomes the unscaleable wall between them. They have lost the vision of Christ and His church in their union. I’ve developed this reflective study to help a couple in this situation to tear down that seemingly insurmountable wall.Read. Watch, or Listen:https://lifeovercoffee.com/here-is-practical-help-to-restore-a-broken-marriage/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
The cross of Christ has wonder-working power. It can change you and your relationships, but the process is not a passive “let go and let God” exercise. If Christ’s cross is not a practical governing reality in our relationships, we will hurt those we love the most. Though the cross of Christ is not the whole gospel, it’s a poignant reminder of the sacrifice needed to sustain a relationship with someone.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/something-must-come-between-us-or-were-going-to-kill-each-other/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
No human has absolute authority over another. This perspective should be common sense, but it’s not for everyone, including Christians. A dictatorial husband and father can put wives and children in a difficult spot, which begs the question that folks have asked me for decades: “Do you think it’s right to correct my authoritarian husband?” This chapter will be instructive and directive for those in this type of relationship.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/do-you-think-its-right-to-correct-my-authoritarian-husband/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – EMDR stands for Eye-Movement Desensitization Reprocessing Therapy. Though it has been around for decades, it has gained a lot of momentum within Christian circles in the past few years. In this episode, Rick interviews Dr. Rhenn Cherry, a professor at Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. He explains the history, the suggested benefits, and how the Bible has more effective answers.Watch or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-535-understanding-emdr-with-dr-rhenn-cherry/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Sexual intimacy is one of the quickest indicators that reveals how a couple is doing in their marriage. Why? Because it is the most physical and intimate thing they will ever do together. It is different from talking, dating, dinner, or a movie. Sex requires more. Sex demands more from two people. You can do many things as a married couple and even pretend to get along, but sex is the litmus test that reveals the authentic reality of your covenant.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/sex-for-a-woman/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Show Main Idea: A God-centered community provides mutual accountability, encouragement in truth, and prayerful support, helping us to walk in freedom from approval-seeking. Through active support, we can uplift others in their journey to live for God’s approval. This lesson also explores practical ways to keep Christ at the center of our fellowship through serving others and finding joy in God’s truth together.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-535-fear-of-man-cultivating-a-god-centered-community/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Most relationships begin with transparency, honesty, courage, and optimism. At some point, these things break down. The husband and wife drift from each other, and silence ensues. Even the best intentions derail if the couple does not know how to keep the transforming power of the gospel as the animating center of their relationship. Let me explain.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/do-you-know-what-your-wife-is-thinking-2/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Every home has a leader. Someone must be in charge while everyone else follows the de-facto leader. I’m speaking of hierarchy in relationships, not the equality among fellow image-bearers. These concepts work together, not creating tension but fulfilling the possibilities of a God-centered home. As you think about your home, how would you define the orientation? Who is in charge? Who is the rightful person to take the reins of your family? Who do you want to lead?Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-orientation-of-your-home-follow-the-leader/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Show Main Idea: We dive into understanding our identity in Christ, finding security in God’s provision. Through practical steps—confession, renewing the mind, and embracing the fear of God—we’ll learn how the Holy Spirit empowers us to live with freedom from human opinion. With a renewed perspective, we’ll discover how to walk confidently in God’s approval, anchored in His truth.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-534-fear-of-man-steps-to-overcome-approval-addiction/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
How do you know when a desire for love has changed into a need for love? It’s an excellent question, and the first place to begin a diagnosis like this is with anger. Anger is the quickest way to discern if someone’s craving for love has jumped from a desire to a controlling need. It is not necessarily wrong to desire something like love from another, but when a desire becomes all-controlling, we’re in the deep weeds of relationship trouble. One of the ways you will know if your desire for something has taken over control of your mind is if you become sinfully angry when someone does not meet that desire. This concept applies to any desire you may have.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/his-needs-her-needs-arent-real-needs/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Even with the best intentions and truest love, a marriage can go to some dangerous and dark places. Ours went there, which is why I decided the best thing we could do is blow up our marriage, reboot, and start over again, hoping to rebuild our covenant on a surer foundation. A caveat may appropriately modify the seeming hyperbole you just read. Lucia and I have always been best friends. From the moment we met on July 24, 1994, we clicked. There was hardly a time we didn’t enjoy each other. Though we did have a few common interests, more things were uncommon between us, which I believe is vital for two people to maximize all that God would have them to be. Initially, our differences did not matter because of our desire to be together, even though some of them were starkly antithetical.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-day-i-intentionally-blew-up-my-marriage/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Show Main Idea: This lesson reveals how God’s unconditional love frees us from the trap of seeking human validation. By renewing our minds with Scripture, we cultivate a mindset rooted in His grace. Through practical steps and reflection, we learn to make daily decisions that honor God, prioritizing His glory over human opinion.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-533-fear-of-man-reorienting-your-focus-pleasing-god-over-man/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
The best marriages are those where the distinct uniqueness of each partner works in a beautiful symmetry that enhances the other’s strengths while compensating for the weaknesses. The worst marriages are those partners who do not know how to help each other become a mature picture of Christ and His church. Their strengths do not support the other spouse, while their weaknesses become annoying interruptions.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/let-me-draw-you-a-picture-of-a-marriage-in-trouble/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
If you could live your life over again, how would you live it differently? What values would you instill to give yourself a meaningful life? What if you could instill those values now? An excellent way to think about these things is to ask someone—people farther down wisdom’s road than you are.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/three-life-choices-you-dont-want-to-miss-before-you-die/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Show Main Idea: This lesson examines how a misplaced desire impacts our identity, breeds insecurity, and prevents genuine spiritual growth. Through practical self-reflection and biblical insights, we begin learning how to discern this idol, redirecting our hearts toward God’s approval as the true anchor of our identity.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-532-fear-of-man-understanding-the-root-of-approval-addiction/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
It is easy to make a decision when things seem clear and the future appears bright. With an optimistic heart, you decide on that thing, only to discover months or years later that it may not be wise to do what you did. What if that decision was to marry someone that you now believe was the wrong person? Sometimes, you cannot redo what you believe is a wrong decision. What are you supposed to do now?Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/i-think-i-married-the-wrong-person/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Meet Al Haywood, a counselor and pastor from northeast Georgia who has dedicated his life to shepherding others in their walks with God. Al, a Mastermind student, has been using Life Over Coffee’s resources to guide not only his own friends but also fellow pastors in the area. Through the Mastermind Program, he’s gained new biblical tools and insights that are transforming his counseling, ministry, and partnerships with other leaders. God has been at work in incredible ways, and we recently had the privilege of sitting down with Al to hear how the gospel-centered training he’s learned are bearing fruit. Listen in as he shares his journey with our Mastermind Program and the powerful impact it’s having on his community. Don’t miss this inspiring conversation about God’s work through Life Over Coffee’s resources.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-530-al-haywoods-journey-with-life-over-coffees-mastermind-program/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Every person has two heads. The human community is a world of two-headed people. James called our common-to-man predicament double-mindedness, just one of the characteristics that comes with our Adamic packaging. At times, we think and act one way, and at other times, we think and act like a different person. If you find yourself occasionally oscillating between two or more personalities and unable to find your true north, you're normal.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-to-help-a-two-headed-person/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Have you ever tried to be perfect? Is it hard for you to let others know you messed up? Are you tempted to present yourself in ways that are not exactly true to who you are? Maybe when you think about others learning the real truth about you, it strikes momentary fear in your heart. Suppose your spouse brought a friend home unannounced. Does it matter what your home looks like at that moment?Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/torment-is-trying-to-be-perfect/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Show Main Idea: Parenting can be challenging, but it’s not an unresolvable puzzle. The Bible offers guidance to help parents lead their families in a Christ-centered way.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-529-webinar-parenting-practically-four-tips-you-can-implement-today/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
You have made your decision in faith. At the time, it seemed like the right thing to do. Now you're having second thoughts. Is it okay to change your mind? Or are you bound to the decision you have made with no other alternative but to live with the consequences? Is it possible to be in faith for the decision, but things have changed to such a degree that you have the biblical right to change your mind?Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/may-i-change-my-mind-after-deciding-something/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Biblical decision-making is not that difficult if you are the only one making the decision. There are challenges, of course, but it's much easier if you're the only one affected by the decision you make. Once the number of contributors to the decision-making process increases and the consequences are broader, it will be more challenging to navigate with humility, clarity, and mutually agreed-upon cooperation regarding the path forward. Having guidelines for couples and friends is crucial.Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/guidelines-for-making-decisions-as-a-couple/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Show Main Idea: We will explore the impact of unresolved anger on relationships. Through a gospel-centered lens, we will offer practical tools and biblical wisdom to help us address the root of anger, exchange it for Christ-like patience, and foster an environment of love, forgiveness, and restoration.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-528-webinar-overcoming-anger-how-it-complicates-our-relationships/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
The gospel practicalized is a transcendent lifestyle that overrides cultural and religious traditions, preferences, and expectations. The convolution between primary and secondary things can be dizzying, especially in a world that works overtime to invert what is good with evil. A practicalized gospel teaches us to live well with others, especially those who make choices that are different from ours. In a world gone mad, all Christians must work hard to distinguish the negotiable from the non-negotiable.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-to-live-with-people-with-different-preferences/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Show Main Idea: Our heavenly Father is the de facto leader of our lives and homes. To build strong marriages and families, we must determine that we will address our life with God, make the necessary changes, and then ask Him to enable us to export our life with Him to those we love.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-527-webinar-follow-the-leader-creating-a-redemptive-community/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Every four years in America, its citizens have the opportunity to vote for the next President of the United States. It’s the privilege of free countries where the political class serves the citizens, or that is what it says on paper. In America, it’s no longer that way in practice as the government has become the hegemonic power, making the right to vote a fragile and sober time when faith and responsibility intersect at a high level.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/a-christian-perspective-on-the-presidential-election/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
This presidential election cycle is my sixteenth. Admittedly, I do not remember the first one because I was one year old, and they would not let me vote. It was 1960. I do remember the second one in 1964, but I had no opinion other than keeping Lyndon Johnson in there since he had not had an entire run. It seemed unfair to replace him. I remember the others and have had varying views depending on my awareness of what was happening. Now, it’s 2024, and here we are: who should we elect as our next president? Few election cycles have been as troubling as the last few.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/who-are-you-voting-for-as-president-this-november/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Someone asked me why I share political messages on my personal X account. He then followed up by saying that politics stink. It was not one of those “stay in your lane” questions as much as it was a curious onlooker, a fellow Christian thinking about their role in the political arena. His question is worth exploring, and every Christian who wants to make a difference in their world should evaluate their role in politics and culture.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/why-christians-should-engage-in-politics/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
In the summer of 2018, we were visiting Lucia’s sister in Minnesota when she told us about a nearby Trump Rally in Fargo, North Dakota. Our van just so happened to need a repair, and Fargo was the nearest Toyota dealer, so we decided to attend the rally while in Fargo. It was a memorable night, a bucket list type of event.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/went-president-trump-rally-last-night/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Show Main Idea: Rick Thomas talks to Dr. Jenn Chen about her latest book, Biblical Counseling and Mental Disorder Diagnosis. Dr. Chen, formerly an integrated psychologist who later received her Master’s in Biblical Counseling, has written an excellent book that is culturally relevant to the dangers of secular psychology. This book is an outstanding tool for all disciple-makers as they engage our brothers and sisters immersed in and influenced by a psychologized culture.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-525-dr-jenn-chen-biblical-counseling-and-mental-disorder-diagnosis/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
One of the striking surprises about the time we live is the imperceptible and incremental changes that happen culturally. Things move so slowly, and we’re so preoccupied that we don’t recognize shifts until we’re shocked out of our mundane lives. The evolution of marketing and politics is one of those phenomena of our society that leaped forward in 2015. What happened is a stark call to action for all believers who love their country and want to make a redemptive difference in the lives of others.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/people-missing-point-about-donald-trump/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
One of the striking surprises about the time we live is the imperceptible and incremental changes that happen culturally. Things move so slowly, and we’re so preoccupied that we don’t recognize shifts until we’re shocked out of our mundane lives. The evolution of marketing and politics is one of those phenomena of our society that leaped forward in 2015. What happened is a stark call to action for all believers who love their country and want to make a redemptive difference in the lives of others.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/people-missing-point-about-donald-trump/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
There is a twist of irony when one person condemns another, even if the accusation is correct. Jesus was right when He said, “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.” To paraphrase, He said that if you choose to dish it out, it will likely come back on you. If we do not guard our hearts when we critique others, we may forget that we are not guilt-free, probably doing adjacent things as we critique. We see this play out a zillion times a day in our country.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-one-thing-that-is-worse-than-admitting-youre-a-racist/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
In 2020, the number one question circulating in people’s minds was, “Should I wear a mask?” Perhaps you wore one, and it was a non-issue. Praise God. I’m sure you were aware that many of your friends were not where you were. It never occurred to me to write on this subject, but it proved to be a paper-thin problem that turned into a mountainous stumbling block for too many people. As most of our dilemmas go, we usually begin by asking the wrong question, which makes our mask problem an excellent case study to help us think rightly about the next cultural and political overreach.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/to-wear-a-mask-or-not-is-not-the-most-important-question/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
One of the most hotly debated terms this century is the word woke. It means to be aware, as in, “I have woke up to [this cause].” Formerly, you were not aware; now, you are. Woke is most often used in the context of what some folks believe are the oppressors and the oppressed: “I am awake to your oppression.” Within this group of woke people, you will find a spectrum of adherents. On one end, there are the innocent idealists, and on the other, there are angry activists.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/two-degrees-of-woke-the-innocent-idealist-and-angry-activist/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Our country is in a tailspin. The most popular word an immediate pathway to cancellation in America today is racism. Two hundred-plus years of striving and tension around race are spilling over into our streets and onto our social media platforms. The noise is so loud. It’s annoying, tedious, concerning, and a lie. Some people are reacting with no filter, while others want to bury their self-censoring heads in the sand. Why are we here? What happened to us? More importantly, what can we do?Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-new-slave-owner-is-a-liberal-paternalistic-government/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
When it comes to human relationships and societal structures, there are threads of unity and discord woven side by side. It’s a delicate balance between building up and tearing down, and often hinges on subtle attitudes and actions that can go unnoticed until the fabric begins to fray. I want to explore this delicate balance between unity and discord by discussing how the insidious patterns of autoimmunity, verificationism, and psychosis create a sadistic, triune collective that, if left unchecked, can unravel the very essence of our families, churches, and nations. My goal isn’t merely to identify these common traits that can infect all of us but to seek pathways to restoration grounded in the timeless truths that call us to love beyond ourselves.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/an-analysis-of-how-to-destroy-a-family-church-or-country/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
The Bible is clear: those who forget God will not endure (Job 8:13). This truth applies not only to nations but also to churches and individuals. God, who sits enthroned above the earth, sees all inhabitants as mere grasshoppers (Isaiah 40:22). When a nation turns away from God, it sets in motion a process of escalating chaos, disunity, and eventual destruction. It is tragic and ironic that many of today’s leaders—whether in politics or media—fail to recognize this historical pattern. While no nation is without flaws, America’s historical success has often paralleled its alignment with Christian principles. However, as we drift from these foundations, the fabric of our society begins to unravel.Read, Watch, or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/great-nation-falls/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Every day, you have to make many decisions, big and small. Some of them are life-changing events, while others aren’t as consequential. It would shock many of us to realize how often we’re deciding things. From micro-decisions, those subtle, silent decisions, to life and family-altering decisions, having a good grasp of biblical decision-making is vital. I have a decision-making case study and a few practical guidelines that will serve you in all of the decisions that you have to make.Read More: https://lifeovercoffee.com/helpful-tips-on-how-to-make-decisions-big-and-small/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
When deciding anything, you must be in faith regarding that decision, which is why the most important question you will ever ask yourself when making a decision is, “Am I in faith to (insert the thing you’re thinking about) to do this?” Thus, having a biblically informed conscience that does not obscure your presuppositional lens will help you to see the facts clearly, and it will give you the best shot at making the most God-honoring decision.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/a-simple-guide-on-how-to-make-a-decision-about-anthing/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
There are no his versus her problems in anyone’s marriage. There are one flesh problems. Your physical body is an excellent illustration of this worldview. If your finger is hurting, your body is hurting. If there is something wrong with your one flesh marriage, regardless of who is struggling, the whole body is in the struggle. Though you have unique lives, you are one flesh, too. What are the implications and practical applications of two unique people who become one flesh?Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/your-husbands-problems-are-your-problems-your-wifes-problems-are-your-problems/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Every gardener has a garden. Common sense? If you plan to take up gardening, you must have a garden. Another necessary assumption is that it's vital to know something about gardening if your goal is to have one. It is not common sense to engage in the respected work of gardening with no clue about what it takes to be successful at it. When I think about gardening, I always think of my grandfather. He was a master gardener. Though I did not enjoy working in his garden during the hot summer days of my childhood, I never questioned his expertise. The proof was always before my eyes.Read More: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-art-of-husbandry-thoughts-on-being-an-effective-husband/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
If you were helping a couple build a stable marriage, where would you begin? What would be your starting point? What is the main thing that you would want to establish in their minds to help them? Their starting point, also called a presupposition, will determine the kind of marriage they will have with each other. A presupposition provides the lens through which they will interpret, understand, and respond to each other. A couple needs to have the correct presupposition and a practical plan that logically flows out of that presupposition to do life well with each other. Suppose you can help them determine a biblical presupposition through which they can build their life and marriage and construct a practical plan that flows out of that presupposition. In that case, they will be on a redemptive and restorative path to glorify God, benefit each other, and proclaim to the world the goodness, power, and fame of God.Read More: https://lifeovercoffee.com/defining-establishing-life-marriage/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Your spouse is two parts—body and soul. Every person is a dichotomy—organic and nonorganic or physical and spiritual. Though the two parts interrelate and affect each other, there are distinctions between them, which require different care. The word body is a basket word that includes all the parts of the body, like your hair, skin, lungs, heart, blood, and toenails. Healthy body parts work together to permit you to function at optimal levels. Though each body part is interrelated, each one is independent and needs a particular kind of care. The independence of the parts is why you want to be specific when trying to help a person who is hurting. For example, if a person has a tummy ache, you don’t ask them about their ankles. They might say, “My ankles are fine; it’s my stomach that is killing me.” You cared for them, but asked the wrong question. Asking the right question is essential.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-31-ask-question-every-day/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Seth Gruber’s clear, concise, and persuasive approach has impacted thousands across the United States, equipping audiences with the tools to change the mindset of the pro-abortion population. In this interview, Rick speaks with Seth about his documentary, The 1916 Project, an insightful and instructive rebuke of the fallacious 1619 Project, which has reshaped the cultural narrative in recent years.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-516-seth-gruber-and-the-1916-project-3/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Biff does not want to lead his wife. He feels like a hypocrite trying to lead her while sporadically sinning against her. Biff asked his counselor, “How can I lead her and sin against her at the same time?” Admittedly, Mable does not make it any easier on Biff as she reminds him of his sin when he tries to lead her. Biff took the position that it is better not to lead Mable at all if he’s going to sin against her. He has three options.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/husbands-dilemma-i-lead-you-i-sin-against-you/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Resist sin in your marriage at every turn. Do not think that you are the exception or that you are somehow above sin, and it will not destroy you. When you see it, kill it. If it is more than you can handle, call for the caregivers (local church) and let them help you kill it. The most ungracious thing you can do is let it persist in your marriage. I’ve counseled many spouses who refused to take this advice. Instead of implementing a biblical plan to restore the brokenness in their marriages, they nourished and cherished other things that became replacements for their infected marriages. Here are ten of those marriage replacements:Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-29-ten-ways-ignore-marriage-problems/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Rosaria Butterfield, a former tenured professor of English and women’s studies at Syracuse University, converted to Christ in what she describes as a train wreck. Her memoir, The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert: An English Professor’s Journey into Christian Faith (Crown and Covenant, 2012), chronicles her conversion. Rosaria is married to Kent, a Reformed Presbyterian pastor in North Carolina. She is a mother, grandmother, author, and speaker.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-515-rosaria-butterfield-from-lesbianism-to-the-gospels-hope-2/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
You may not know where your marriage is leading you, but there is one thing I want you to know: Regardless of your journey, you can rest assured that God is well ahead of you and has made many preparations before you arrive. Like a great friend waiting to receive you at the end of a long journey, the good Lord is always ahead of you and has a well-prepared end in mind. In Exodus, God disrupts an entire nation. The Lord lets the Israelites know that the times are changing. There is turmoil in their land, and they are in dire straits. The famine has spread beyond discomfort, and their families are struggling to make ends meet. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/marriage-day-28-god-is-there-before-you-get-there/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Discomfort in life is as assured as death and taxes. There are some things you can count on, and personal suffering is one of them. It is part of the package that comes with the gift of a new life from God (Philippians 1:29). Because suffering is guaranteed, it’s important to give reflective thoughts on how you respond when you don’t get your way. What comes out of your mouth when you do not get your way reveals your theology of suffering, your theology of God, and your maturity as a Christian.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-27-suffering-produces-strength/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
There is a good chance your spouse is not everything you hoped for in a marriage. Of course, neither are you. Imperfect people have a way of disappointing imperfect people. Perchance your spouse is difficult at times to live with, here are seven things for you to practically apply to yourself and marriage.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-17-seven-things-to-know-if-your-spouse-is-difficult/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
This devotion is in a three-part sequential order. The second step builds on the first, and the third relies upon the second. If you want to enjoy your marriage to the fullest, you must live out all three phases in the order presented.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-18-three-steps-to-be-an-excellent-spouse/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Warning: This devotion is not for a spouse in an abusive marriage. If your marriage is abusive, find help immediately to stop the abuse.It is important to accurately recognize how God is working in you during times of suffering. Many times, individuals see their trials as something that is happening to them rather than something that God is doing in them. Acknowledging that God is doing something in you is more than a courtesy nod. It is sobering. For God to take an interest to help any of us is both humbling and frightening. (See Job 23:15)Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-26-crucible-of-suffering-when-your-marriage-does-not-change/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Biff sinned against Mable, and Mable was hurt. Biff asked Mable to forgive him. Mable forgave Biff. They reconciled—but not really. Though Mable forgave Biff, she neglected to tell him that she was sinning against him because of what he had done to her. Though she understood that it is never right to sin in response to being sinned against, she did sin against Biff as a response to his sin.Read More: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-25-double-confession-how-to-respond-when-sinned-against/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Elias Ghazal was born in Qutar. His parents are Lebanese and Palestinian. He has developed theological courses in Arabic and is completing his Ph.D. in International Relations. I wanted to interview him about his perspective on Israeli and Palestinian tensions, differences, and solutions. It is fantastic to hear from someone from that part of the world without the worldview and shaping influences of being Americanized. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-513-elias-ghazal-a-christians-perspective-on-palestine-and-israel/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Physical intimacy with your spouse requires more from each spouse. Physical intimacy demands more from the couple. You can do many things as a married couple and even pretend to get along, but sex is the litmus test that tells the truth about the marriage. It is not unusual for a couple to attend church together for 30 years and be miserable in their marriage. Though they can pretend in the public domain, they cannot be fake in the privacy of their bedroom. Intimacy is either right, and your marriage is good, or it is not, and your marriage is in trouble. If your sexual life is struggling, it is because of sin. Sin separates, and the bedroom is the most prominent place where you will perceive this division. If you do not deal with sin biblically, the tectonic plates of your sex life will shift, and your marriage will be off-kilter. No matter what you do, you will be out of harmony with each other.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-7-sex-and-marriage/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Mable knocked on my counseling door. She was in tears. She had just finished her weekly women’s Bible study. The deep dive into God’s Word was exhilarating, and the fellowship with her friends was refreshing, but Mable was in tears. Quizzically, I could not connect her tears with her time with God and friends. It did not make sense to me. Then she asked, “Would you talk to my husband?” Seven syllables. It spoke volumes. Mable spent a few hours each Tuesday at their church building watching a video from a famous woman speaker on random Bible topics. At some point during these Bible studies, Mable started thinking that something was missing in her life. What she perceived as good—her Bible study—was becoming an unpleasant reminder of something unsatisfying about her marriage.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-20-dont-let-your-bible-study-hurt-your-marriage/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
It is impossible to live in a fallen world and not argue or disagree with another person. From birth to the grave, disagreements are part of life. The odds are so stacked against you that you will not be able to get through life without conflict, which is why it would be good to learn how to argue well, especially with your spouse. Here are five tips for your marriage communication.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-22-five-tips-for-arguing-well/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
There are at least two parts to every crisis: what is happening to you in real-time and space and what is spiritually happening inside of you as the Lord matures you through the trial. The first part is usually discernible to anyone associated with the crisis. The second part is not as perceptible to the person in the crisis or those observing the crisis. Typically, when I am experiencing a crisis, I can articulate what I am going through and the strategies I hope to implement to overcome it. From a practical perspective, it is important to let others know what I’m going through and my plans to bring the crisis to a desirable conclusion. My friends care about me; they want to know what is going on in my life, what my crisis management plans are, and what they can do to help. Caring for others is normal and expected Christian deportment. Thus, articulating, as appropriate with your close companions, is a humble thing to do so your friends can pray and assist as you go through the crisis.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-23-what-you-communicate-in-crisis-communicates-a-lot-about-you/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – A phobia is an intense and irrational fear of a specific object, situation, or activity that poses little to no actual danger. This fear can be so overwhelming that it provokes severe anxiety and interferes with normal life functions. Phobias are a type of anxiety and can be categorized into specific phobias. In this episode, I’m answering someone’s question about how to overcome a phobia.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-511-how-to-deal-with-phobias-from-a-biblical-perspective/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
There are several ways to motivate your spouse to change. Here are six awful examples. As you go through this list, examine your heart to see which ones you tend to employ the most often when your spouse is not changing and maturing according to your expectations.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-21-the-best-way-to-help-your-spouse-change/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Biff and Mable married 13 years ago. Most of those years were difficult. Mable struggles with insecurity, which has played out in their marriage by her keeping tabs on Biff. He calls her a nag. Her deeper insecurity is born out of something that Biff did not cause, which is why he sees her interrogations and accusations as a burden. Rather than discerning Mable as an opportunity to shepherd her, he responds by drifting farther from her, which puts their marriage in an unresolvable, circular trap.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-19-the-blessing-of-the-reciprocal-marriage/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Overcoming the challenges of introversion involves embracing how God uniquely designed you while also seeking ways to engage with others in meaningful, God-honoring ways. It's not about changing who you are but rather using your natural tendencies for the glory of God and the good of others.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-509-a-gospel-message-for-all-the-introverts-out-there/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
The most significant problem hindering humble discipleship in a marriage is self-centeredness. Too many spouses demand and manipulate what they want while relegating their role of discipling their spouse to a tertiary consideration. Nothing will blow up a marriage quicker than a lack of other-centeredness, a mindset that is contrary to the gospel. Jesus set aside His desires to help broken people. Discipleship is every spouse’s responsibility. Christ took on the form of a servant to transform damaged individuals (Philippians 2:5-10).Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-24-setting-aside-your-desires-to-disciple-your-spouse/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
How do you positively or negatively contribute to your marriage? In broad categories, you can help in one of two ways, though you may contribute in both, depending on what is going on during any particular season of your marriage: You can motivate your spouse by grace. You can demotivate your spouse by sinful attitudes, words, or behaviors.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-15-does-your-behavior-your-spouse-to-christ/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
A few years ago I was counseling a couple who were angry with each other. During our counseling, I asked the wife what was wrong with the marriage. Without hesitation or skipping a beat, she gave me a long, clear, and detailed list of all the things that were wrong with her husband. There was was no question about it: he was a failure. Because I like to play fair, I turned to the lady’s husband and asked him about the state of their marriage. Without flinching or taking a breath, the husband gave me a list of all the things his wife had done wrong in their marriage. There was no question about it: she was a failure. Two people looking at the same thing had two completely different perspectives on how their marriage became such a dysfunctional mess.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-14-radical-conflict-resolution-tip/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
What were the practical things you did when you first won your spouse’s affections? Are you still doing them, or has the pace of life diverted your attention from your early marriage priorities? Reflect upon the giddy time in your relationship. Do you remember those carefree and silly days when it was just you two? Those days do not have to remain in your past. It was important to Lucia and me that we fight to keep the dating experience in our marriage experience. Because of God’s grace, we still enjoy giddy, silly, carefree, and fun times in our relationship; we are still buddies, always working not to let anything come between us, including our children, our work, our church, or our sin. But it was not always this way. We did lose focus in our marriage. The moorings of a stable marriage broke loose, and we drifted from the God-centered practicalities of our covenant. We needed a severe marital realignment.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-11-change-one-thing/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
The modeling of Christ and practicing repentance in your home are at the top of the list of what you both should be doing in your family relationships. Suppose you are not imitating Christ or repenting of sins. In that case, your marriage can only limp along, with a Band-Aid approach while accelerating the accumulative frustration that leftover, hungover sinning does until death disrupts your one-flesh union. There is no way to circumvent the hard and humble way of going to your spouse, confessing your sin, asking for forgiveness, and encouraging your spouse to have a similar kind of humility that forgiveness granting exemplifies to the offender. You will know if you have authentically buried the hatchet if you can talk about what happened in non-punitive ways. There is no biblical reason for a Christian couple not to repentant and reconciling.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-8-the-most-effective-thing-you-can-do/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
One of the most powerful ways to imitate Jesus in our marriages is by having an other-worldly lack of self-interest (Philippians 2:5-11). A profound statement that connects so well with the gospel is that if the gospel truly anchors us, we have nothing to fear, nothing to defend, nothing to lose, and nothing to hide. Isn’t Jesus like that with you? He is so secure in His relationship with you that any angry frustration from you or the other ways in which you express your disappointments to Him do not manage Him. He is not a manipulatable person, no matter how anyone responds to Him.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-5-strengths-weaknesses-marriage/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Finally, after several attempts to convince them of the futility of their positions, I conceded any further hope of a ceasefire. There would be no redemptive-relational progress that day. They were too mad, too self-justified, too hurt, too unforgiving, and too stubborn to change. At that point, I gave up and recommended that the combatants continue fighting. Yes, I told them to pursue their anger toward each other. “Keep on keeping on. Duke it out.”Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-10-something-must-come-between-you-two/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
When your spouse sins, who pays for it? Do you make them pay for what they did wrong, or do you take your spouse to Jesus and show them how His death is enough punishment to remove the transgression? Christians understand the point of the gospel: Christ paid for our sins. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-2-who-pays-for-your-spouses-sins/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – The struggle with pornography is a significant issue that affects both men and women, though it might manifest differently and need somewhat nuanced approaches to overcome it. In the context of biblical teaching, the use of pornography is a misdirection of the God-given desire for love and intimate connection, which becomes corrupted by sin, making our normal desires self-centered. Women may struggle with pornography for several reasons, including a longing for relational connection, past trauma, curiosity, or habitual sin patterns that develop over time. This issue often thrives in secrecy and shame, making it challenging for many to seek help.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-505-why-women-struggle-with-porn-and-how-to-overcome/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
If you are going to imitate the Lord in your marriage (Ephesians 5:1), being for your spouse must be a logical and loving objective and practice. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-3-are-you-for-your-spouse/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
God never condemns, mocks, criticizes, or puts you down when you share your heart with Him (Ephesians 4:29). He is always ready to listen and willing to help. The Father knows your frame and understands your weaknesses. He encourages you by speaking into your various situations with love (Psalm 103:12-14).Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-4-no-more-condemnation/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
A husband and wife are not just two people within the marriage. Yes, they have independent relationships with the Lord and with other people, but they are also one flesh. Like our blessed Trinity, there is perfect oneness that unites the Persons. This kind of union is both a mystery and a practical reality. Though you cannot fully understand what a one-flesh union means, you can functionally and faithfully participate in a one-flesh marriage while enjoying its benefits.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-16-does-your-marriage-look-like-this/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
If you put two sinners in a room (home) for an extended period with no plan for escape, you can expect problems. There may be a lot of love along the way, but there will also be problems. It's unavoidable. The dating couple can break up and go on to the next relationship. Vocational workmates are similar. If you don't like your boss or the environment in which you work, you can move on to the next thing. Marriage is different.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-9-dating-to-divorce-and-how-we-got-there/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
What Adam lacked was not someone to fill his empty love cup but someone who would allow him to display God in the world in a more complete way.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-13-the-main-reason-you-need-someone/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
We are one body (Hebrews 13:3). When I sin—no matter what it is—my wife has a responsibility for that sin. She would never say, "That's Rick's problem. That's his sin." No, it's our sin. She is not guilty of my sin, and she does not repent of my sin, but she has a role to play because she is me, and I am here—we are one. When I sin, she runs to my aid by calling me out or caring for me. She becomes my discipler—my mentor.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-6-problems-problems-one-problem/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
What is the most important quality you would like to have in your life? Of all the qualities to choose from, there is one transcending quality that must be at the top of your list. That one transcending quality is God's glory. If your desire to glorify God is the chief aim of your life, there is a fantastic chance you will experience a meaningful and satisfying life and marriage, even should your spouse not meet some of your expectations. There is nothing that transcends this God-centered quality in His image bearers.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-12-the-most-important-thing/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
One of the more common complaints I hear from spouses is when one of the partners in the marriage talks about being alone in the marriage. These lonely spouses perceive a seemingly invisible barrier between each other. It's a communication barrier they cannot change because the deepest and most intimate component of marriage communication is uniquely spiritual. While couples can relate in many ways, there is one way that is non-negotiable if you intend to engage each other like Christ and His church (Ephesians 5:25-33). That spiritual component is an intimate three-person dynamic between the husband, wife, and God. I'm not necessarily talking about praying together, going to church, reading the Bible, or other churchy things—all vital aspects of a sound marriage. I'm speaking of in-depth and comprehensive spiritual communication. Read Here:Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
The sex talk begins in a child's toddler years as they learn about sexuality, intimacy, and relationships through the attitudes, words, and interactions of their parents. Sex is a shame-laced subject because of our mutual fallenness. One talk just before they head off to high school is not enough to help them think right about gender, identity, and sexuality. Even our worldly counterparts—though they give the appearance of no sex shame and have all the answers—are not free from sexual entanglements.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-sex-talk-begins-in-the-toddler-years/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
One of the most exciting and bittersweet times in a parent’s life is walking their child through the sex talk. It’s the season that leads them into adulthood. It’s the secret handshake that lets them know that the curtain of childhood is dropping and a brave new world is in front of them. It’s exciting because you are the one leading her. It’s bittersweet because your little kid is growing up.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/practical-and-effective-instructions-for-the-sex-talk-01/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
The sex talk is a transitional time in a child’s life, but long before you have the talk, your child will have a worldview and practice in place that will form the backdrop for how he will process what you’re telling him during the sex talk. His home environment forms that worldview and develops his relational habits long before he learns about the most intimate aspects of male and female relationships.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/practical-advice-before-you-have-the-sex-talk-with-your-child/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Is there a terrific way to introduce the sex talk to your child? Every parent is faced with the challenge, though every parent does not think about sex the same way. Of course, there are a few parents who kick the sex talk can down the road, assuming they will learn eventually. I suspect if you brought the sex talk up to a group of adults, there would be a mixed bag of responses.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/terrific-way-for-introducing-the-sex-talk-to-your-child/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
The wedding day is not the best time to learn how to be a spouse. Too many young couples begin this way. Without prior marriage training, they had to figure out how to get along with each other in the school of hard knocks. Some of them do not endure their marriage, which is why we chose to give our son three wives. If practice makes perfect, the assumption is that we could help him get close to what it means to be a biblical husband—should that day come.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/my-son-has-three-practice-wives-to-make-him-a-better-husband/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Statistically speaking, the chances of your son or daughter being married are greater than them spending their adult lives as singles. This likelihood is not inside information but public knowledge. Boys like girls and girls like boys, and most boys and girls will tie the knot in holy matrimony, even though there has been a multi-decade assault on marriage between a man and woman. How do you prepare your son to be an excellent future husband to a wonderful lady? When would you begin? My answers may surprise you.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/vital-teaching-for-your-son-today-so-hell-be-a-great-husband-later/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
It is impossible to engage our culture at any level and not hear their language, including curse words. Whether it is social media, a television show, or a stroll in the park, our culture’s words do not discriminate or care about our worldview. Because of the unending assault of their language upon us, the questions every caring parent must answer is who is going to teach their child the culture’s language, and when is the proper time to do it.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/wise-parents-teach-their-children-how-to-curse-2/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Though it would be simpler to place the lust problem in the lap of one gender, it would bring harm to God’s Word because lust is every person’s temptation. Perhaps a couple of synonyms for lust will level the playing field, holstering our tongues to where we’re less likely to go, “Ready! Fire! Aim,” and react more soberly as we consider the wisdom in the sequence of the log and speck (Matthew 7:3-5). I was thinking about these things when I received this letter from a friend.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/men-are-tempted-to-lust-women-are-tempted-to-be-lusted-after/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Every home is a laboratory where parents have the privilege of incrementally introducing their children to the culture around them. This incremental child development process prepares them to live in and engage in their world as adults while not being overcome by the culture. The proactive and intentional parent does not wait until the child is an adult to teach them how to live like an adult.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/incrementally-introducing-your-children-to-the-world/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Pornography is a pervasive sin in the sense that the outward behavior—viewing porn—speaks to a heart idolatry that is not as evident at first glance. Though there is wisdom in cutting off porn behavior (Matthew 5:29-30), the only way to be truly free is by rooting it out at its source, which implies identifying the idol that feeds the porn addiction. There will be many idols operative in a porn person’s heart. You may find the idol of comfort, respect, control, power, or reputation. Though this chapter will not deal with the rooting out of these idols, it’s vital for those caring for the caught individual to understand that there is more happening with the person in porn than what meets the eye.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/what-should-a-single-girl-know-about-guys-struggling-with-porn/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/hey-rick-what-does-your-wife-wear-to-the-beach/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
The goal of parenting is to rear a child to adulthood as a man or woman living under God’s authority. The hope-filled goal is for your child to step out into God’s world that final time, as they exit your home, as a person under His authority. The transition from when they once submitted and obeyed you, now they desire to submit to and obey God as an adult operating as missional agents in His world. This process of training a child to that future aspiration happens in three stages.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/tips-on-parenting-a-child-from-zero-to-adulthood/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Too often, discussions about modesty digress into contentious sparring matches between Christians with differing perspectives on secondary issues. Usually, it’s the legalist and the liberal thinking believer, a sad commentary about our Christian maturity in light of the horrendous things that are happening all around us. We can be like kids arguing over the bigger piece of candy when these privileges sugar-fixes are less common in many parts of the world where having anything to eat is a daily struggle. In a culture like ours, where we’ve been spoiled for so long, the tendency is to devolve into less weighty matters speaks to how easily our hearts curve into themselves.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/modesty-wars-the-legalist-and-the-liberal/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Profound suffering came into my life. I hurt without mitigation. In time, the challenges were so bad that I didn’t care if God took my life. I was not going to kill myself, but if the Lord wanted to, I was not opposed to it. The difficulties and disappointments were beyond my ability to fix it. As Paul said in 2 Corinthians 1:8, I despaired of life itself, which was odd in light of what he said in Romans 8:28 about all things working together for good. I was perplexed; how could what I was going through work together for good?Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/what-does-all-things-work-together-for-good-really-mean-2/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Small group life can be an amazing experience, or it could be the most frustrating part of your week. Knowing how to lead a group well while envisioning the members as active participants does not happen without a game plan that includes understanding, intentionality, and equipping. Here are eight essentials that every small leader needs to know to make the most of their small group experience. After you have read the essential and provided a brief explanation, will you answer the question for each essential? Perhaps sharing your conclusions and solutions with a friend would further instill these truths into your life and small group experience.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-93-eight-essentials-for-an-exceptional-small-group-experience/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Lust does not mysteriously appear in the heart of a teenager as though it came from nowhere. Teens are like the rest of us. Lust is part of their Adamic wiring, a sobering call for every parent to cooperate with God in shaping a child’s heart and life to a purer desire that is in Christ alone. This call is more than academic; the parent must model their message, giving their child a living illustration of God’s love to another person. Let me illustrate this point by sharing the fictional account of Biffina that shines a light on a real-world problem that is not fictional in too many of our young people’s lives.Read More: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-can-i-get-guys-to-lust-after-me/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Most of the counseling that I do is marriage counseling because it is in the context of marriage, where two sinful people have to live within proximity to each other for an extended period. Most other relationships have an exit strategy. Kids can leave the home—eventually. Friends can unfriend each other on social media. Like good wood, church folks can split, too. However, in marriage, it’s death or divorce, making the degree of difficulty for leaving more complex. What if a couple had a biblical strategy, creating a restorative pathway to bring hope and help to their covenant while staving off the worst possible scenario?Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/powerful-and-practical-questions-to-change-your-marriage/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Strangers marry each other, and whoever you marry, you marry all of them, including their mind. Though you trust God with your future marriage partner and hope for the best, you know there is an element of mystery about how things will go because you will never be 100% aware of who your marriage partner is. Though it sounds pessimistic, it is a recognition of your finitude and your responsibility to ensure that your dating relationship is a sober opportunity for clear-headed decision-making and courageous choices. For the girl, she must understand sexual temptation, specifically how it has affected her boyfriend. As my friend, Mable, was thinking about these things, she wrote me the following letter.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/i-need-advice-about-my-boyfriends-sexual-temptation/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Sex is a beautiful thing. A sinful sexual temptation is not, but giving into sexual temptation is worse. As fallen creatures, though redeemed by God, these temptations will always be part of our human experience. After the fall of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, every person has struggled with distorted views of sex and sexual temptation. These problems are some of the universal assumptions you can make about anyone. We assume such things because of fallenness, but not out of condemnation. We have a mutual understanding of our human condition and need for transformative grace. In this chapter, I will be addressing every man’s battle with sex.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/why-men-struggle-with-sexual-temptation/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Mark E. Shaw, DMin, is the newly hired Nocatee Pastor of Counseling at First Baptist Church in Jacksonville, FL, and the Founder of The Addiction Connection (TAC). Having certifications with TAC, ACBC, IABC, and ICAADA, he offers the “Hope of the Gospel for the Heart of Addiction” in his teaching, counseling, and writing. As the author of twenty-eight publications, including The Heart of Addiction and Understanding Temptation, he leads a network of Commissioned Addictions Biblical Counselors (CABCs) who believe the Holy Spirit and the Word of God are sufficient to address addiction issues.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-500-dr-mark-shaw-and-the-heart-of-addiction/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Most of us understand the traditional definition of porn addiction. Typically, it’s in the context of a guy lusting after a girl. Active lust toward another person is the primary way porn is acted out in our culture, but it is no longer the exclusive twisted domain of men who won’t control their eyes and actions. There is another kind of porn addiction that is unique to women. It’s a backward porn addiction, as one lady told me during a counseling session. This porn addiction carries a similar idea of lusting, but directionally it’s different—the woman wants men to look at her. She attempts to capture the eyes of a man.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/backward-porn-addiction-when-women-draw-attention-to-themselves/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
While summer is an appreciated and welcomed relief from the blistering cold of winter—for those of us who have winters, it does bring a different difficulty to our lives. The summer months draw attention to our universal struggle with sex, sexuality, and temptation, with the modesty debates taking a prominent role in our conversations. The knee-jerk reaction is to blame our fallen counterparts without careful consideration of what the Bible says regarding universal depravity and every human’s temptation to turn what God intended for good into something that will tantalizes our lust-filled desires. The sober-mindedness of the mature believer considers personal responsibility and communal input. These careful Christians understand the sin’s complexities and their common blindspots that do not discriminate.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/too-much-skin-girl-too-much-skin-a-talk-on-modesty/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Does the Great Commission apply to you? I'm assuming you are a Christian, and if so, how are you imitating the gospel and exporting the gospel to your sphere of influence? The question sounds elementary at first glance, but upon a deeper analysis, is there an argument for not obeying the Great Commission? If there is no argument, then how are you doing it? What does discipleship look like in your life? In this presentation, Rick helps us learn how to equip each other practically within their local churches.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-499-practical-soul-care-a-biblical-response-to-the-great-commission/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Newsflash: I have always known that something was wrong with me, but for the longest time, I did not know what it was. As I became older, I realized that it was an internal awkwardness, a sense of shame. To compensate for my soul dysfunction, crave acceptance or approval from others. I fell prey to self-generated value, even manipulating others to like me. I connected my value as a human to the opinions of others. It would have been a good day if they had given me the proverbial thumbs up. If they gave me the thumbs down, the clouds rolled in as I slithered away in search of significance another way.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-most-effective-way-to-feel-better-about-yourself/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
There is confusion among some believers over Christ’s words about loving others as we love ourselves. The sticking point is about what loving ourselves mean. Typically, it runs along the lines of, how do you love others as you love yourself as fallen people with mixed motives? I see the ditches, with self-hate in one and self-love in the other. How can I love myself correctly and appropriately care for my fellow image-bearers? This concept of loving God and others as I love myself is murky to me.Read More: https://lifeovercoffee.com/mean-love-god-love/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
What is the schizophrenia unicorn? Understanding the truth behind the fictitious animal has more relevance than you might imagine. In Dr. Daniel Berger’s latest book, The Schizophrenia Unicorn, you will learn how the disorder label is a misdirection that offers false solutions with which so many people struggle. Finally, the truth about schizophrenia is here with the hope and help the struggling soul needs.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-498-a-deep-dive-analysis-of-schizophrenia-with-dr-daniel-berger/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Love is a verb, an action word. It moves, always going in one direction or the other. Love will not work if it is not moving toward something. You will find it sandwiched between a subject and an object because, always expecting the subject to move it toward the object. Love standing alone is a neutral concept; it cannot survive without the giver and receiver. We see this threefold cooperative requirement of love in the most famous verse in the Bible.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/there-is-a-reason-you-should-love-yourself-and-others/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
One of the most challenging things a person will ever do is tell others the secrets of who they really are. I’m not suggesting we blab all our stuff to everyone, or even our deepest, darkest secrets that only God knows, but there is wisdom in inviting at least one trusted friend into our more vulnerable thought life, a person who can handle our unsavory truth. Ironically, many Christians will not do this even though we’re all messed up. Nobody is perfect. Too bums on the street not talking about what is apparent to both of them is odd.Read Here:https://lifeovercoffee.com/im-imperfect-youre-imperfect-lets-get-over-ourselves/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
One of the most counterintuitive messages for anyone to accept is their inherent badness. Most people think poorly about themselves but they will not accept that overcoming what’s wrong with them is affirming those negative thoughts. If you think poorly of yourself, you’re on the right path to wholeness. The Bible’s declaration is we are worthless. We are not good people. The culture says you are somebody. They believe that people are inherently good. The Bible says we’re not that special. I’m not speaking of self-worth that flows from the Imago Dei but a futile belief system that says we are good people outside Christ’s alien righteousness.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/knowing-youre-bad-is-the-beginning-of-being-good/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Sometimes, you can't stay at your local church. It's sad, but it happens all the time. You have to leave; when it happens, it's one of the more gut-wrenching seasons in any God-loving Christian's life. You love the Lord and His people, but for biblical and conscious reasons, and after gaining advice from helpful friends, the only option on the table is to find another local church. The good news is that there is a way to leave your church well. And there is a way to leave poorly.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-do-you-leave-your-church/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
If you isolate a portion of Scripture from the narrative of the Bible’s story, you can misunderstand its meaning, complicating your life and triggering our unregenerate friends. Isolating texts is why some Christians struggle with many of the Bible’s declarations. Being worthless is one of those declarations. Imagine lifting Paul’s words about us from its context, isolating it from the whole counsel of God. It could be devastating. What did Paul mean? Why is such a harsh perspective on humanity essential to our ultimate good?Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/mystery-misunderstanding-worthless/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
“I have a question about church discipline or how you handle a lack of church discipline or involvement from the church when trying to help someone. Though I don’t have a current situation, it appears that church assistance should involve counsel, instruction, and, in some cases, the church’s discipline to restore a brother or sister to Christ. What if this is not happening? Is there still a way to help those in need? How do you engage the church’s help when the church isn’t interested in following God’s instruction? What if the person you are caring for knows the church isn’t helping and loses heart for the church or disengages from the church?” – Supporting MemberRead Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/when-the-local-church-wont-help-you-2/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
The local church is the dearest place on earth, outside of our unique families. It is the one place where the body of Christ can gather to celebrate their King while caring for each other in all the various contexts possible. It is an amazing means of grace, where families can gather to spur one another to love and good works. Though all Christians should commit themselves to a local gathering, it’s not the case. What about you? Are you committed to your local church? Do you make it easy for your fellow church members to care for you?Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/are-you-committed-to-the-dearest-place-on-earth/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Self-esteem teaching has been around for a long time. It’s one of the central planks of the culture’s gospel, which is their attempt to feel better about themselves. They, like us, realize they need help. As ambassadors for Christ, we must know how to engage cultural friends, to help them while keeping an eye on their version of psychology to ensure we don’t fall for their traps. The fallacy and futility of the self-esteem gospel are everywhere, so learning to debunk it with competence and compassion is every believer’s responsibility.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/fallacy-futility-self-esteem/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
The best discipleship soul care happens in a community, not isolated, artificial settings where there is a disconnection between the person and the community. God can change lives in one-and-done or a season of meetings, and no reasonable person would argue against the good Lord doing just that, but the most compelling soul care needs time, people, and context. Body-to-body ministry is the primary way change happens, placing a requirement on every believer to do all they can to equip themselves to make our local churches more effective discipleship communities.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/do-you-fight-fires-or-change-lives/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
The preaching event on Sunday morning and the working out of the preached Word during the week are not either/or activities. They both work together to help the Christian mature. The Christian life is not centered on the pulpit because the Christian lives his life chiefly everywhere else after the building door closes on Sunday. The person living by the preached Word on Sunday alone but not implementing contexts to work it into their soul will not mature the way God intends, or the Bible teaches.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/you-need-more-than-preaching-to-change/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Thinking more about yourself is not the path to freedom. The self-esteem agenda demands that we turn our thoughts onto ourselves, spending even more time thinking about ourselves. The Bible has a counterintuitive message: The more thoughts about God we have, the freer we will be. The path to freedom is not by turning inward but upward and outward as we practice loving God and others more than ourselves, a counterintuitive, anti-cultural worldview.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/loving-me-the-hidden-agenda-of-self-esteem-2/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – What is the schizophrenia unicorn? Understanding the truth behind the fictitious animal has more relevance than you might imagine. In Dr. Daniel Berger’s latest book, The Schizophrenia Unicorn, you will learn how the disorder label is a misdirection that offers false solutions with which so many people struggle. Finally, the truth about schizophrenia is here with the hope and help the struggling soul needs.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-498-a-deep-dive-analysis-of-schizophrenia-with-dr-daniel-berger/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
"Can you give some clear examples of signs of how a pastor or church leader is crossing the line from being a shepherd to a spiritual abuser? It would be helpful to know when to support a pastor when he is genuinely trying to defend and protect his flock from outside and wrong influence vs. a pastor who has an agenda and is above questioning or accountability. The lines sometimes seem blurred, and I would appreciate your help distinguishing these differences." – Supporting MemberRead Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/a-few-signs-of-spiritual-abuse-from-a-pastor/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Mable walked into the woods one day, doused herself with gasoline, and set herself on fire. The newspapers said she suffered from low self-esteem. They were wrong. Mable was preoccupied with herself. She could not stop thinking about herself, her problems, those who mocked her, put her down, alienated from her, and a myriad of other everyday disappointments from family and friends. Her thoughts would not release her from a self-centered preoccupation that led her into the woods, the only path she knew that would break the stronghold of soul noise consuming her.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-cure-for-self-esteem/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
The best local churches have values distinct from the culture, while transforming the church’s community to reach the culture with the gospel to export those values to the next generation. When looking for a fantastic local church, there are many thing to consider, in addition to their views on the gospel and sound theology. What are a few things that come to your mind? Let me share with you three characteristics that all local churches should prioritize.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/three-characteristics-of-a-fantastic-local-church/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
The most important question when looking for a local church concerns the gospel—the main thing forever and ever. Amen. Nothing is more essential in any local church than the good news of the gospel, who is Christ. While many things matter when looking for a church, nothing matters more. So, lets suppose we exalt Christ in our minds and seek to imitate Him in all we do. If so, it will create a presuppositional window to interpret our theology, worship, ministries, and everything else in church life is congruent with the gospel we exalt. To follow Christ well implies that we will disregard anything that will impede or hinder our walk with Him. Thus, with Christ established as the preeminent one, we have the proper filter to discern the other vital matters of the church.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-second-most-important-question-you-can-ask-your-church/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Sinful anger comes from the heart of a weak person who has not learned how to submit his desires to the obedience of Christ. The angry person has learned how this weapon is a manipulative, emotive method to secure what they believe they need. The heart is fearful and needy; anger is the tool to satisfy these out-of-control desires. Understanding the cause of anger is the first step to changing the behavior.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-110-help-for-the-angry-person/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
The local church is our most crucial sanctification context outside our homes, making finding the right kind of church a critical matter for all serious-minded Christians. The church search can be daunting because there are so many varieties, and we have a plethora of preferences. If you were to highlight a few essentials of things you'd like for your church to be, what would be on your list? More specifically, what is the main thing you want when looking for a place to mature in Christ, care for others, spread the fame of God throughout your community, and glorify our heavenly Father?Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-main-thing-to-look-for-when-looking-for-a-church/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – A friend on the Supporting Member side of our website asked about dating apps because of their growing ubiquitous use in the church. The concern for many believers who want to marry is the difficulty in finding relationships in the church, especially a small church where there is a dearth of godly men. She’s asking whether dating apps are biblical, possible, or wise. It’s a great question in light of our technological age and something every Christian needs to consider because we are past the point of no return regarding technology.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-496-is-it-okay-for-christians-to-use-online-dating-apps/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
The global effect of all these issues on the body of Christ is what it’s doing to our local churches. The family is the core of all civil societies, and within the Christian world, the family constitutes the local church. In former generations, the social center of every community was the local church building, the structure where Christian families gathered to build koinonia practically. All roads led to the church building.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/what-you-can-do-about-migration-cyber-effect-8-0/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
These adverse cyber effects always beg the question of the best time to give your child a phone. Part of the discussion centers on the type of phone you want to give your child. The other part centers on the kind of child you have, their maturity level, or if God has regenerated them. You also want to consider their personalities. Some children are leaders and not easily influenced; others are followers, easily tempted, or have dull to hard consciences. It could be a practical choice if you want your child to have a flip phone at an early age.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/what-you-can-do-about-accountability-cyber-effect-7-0/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Show Notes: A person with a bad habit needs a clear path to freedom, though it’s not always clear which pathway to take. As he thinks about freeing himself from bondage, he must begin with a rational worldview that lays a foundation for the practical application that flows out of that worldview. If you’re struggling with an addiction, bad habit, or stuck in a rut, here is that clear path—the worldview and your practical path forward. I will start by laying out a biblical worldview in an unsuspected place: what is a covenant?Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-265-here-is-practical-help-for-anyone-stuck-in-a-bad-habit/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Our lives operate on a 24-hour cycle. You have observed how you become tired or drowsy at certain times of the day. Hopefully, that is in the evening, when your body tells you it’s time to sleep. I used to become drowsy in the afternoons, but not so much now since making a few healthy adjustments. This cycle is God’s mercy to us, so we will rest, refresh, and reboot with vigor to serve the Lord with all our hearts, minds, and strengths. The Internet age is changing our rhythms.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/what-you-can-do-about-blue-light-cyber-effect-6-0/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
After you meet the stranger on the train, and both of you throw inhibition to the wind, you may convince yourself that you’re building a whole relationship with another person. You’re not. At best, what you have is false intimacy; it’s not the real thing. You cannot replicate and enjoy God’s solution to companionship in cyberspace. “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him'” (Genesis 2:18).Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/what-to-do-about-sanctification-cyber-effects-5-0/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Do you have a problematic relative or friend you may need to confront? Many of us do have challenging friends and relatives because our mutual fallenness can rub each other the wrong way. Strangers on the train can engage for a quick second and disembark at the next stop, but when you interact with someone year in and out, there will be problems. Let me share ten thoughts I gave a friend struggling to be at peace with a relative.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-494-help-me-help-my-difficult-relative/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
The concept of sharing freely and without fear is called the disinhibition effect. There is little inhibition about vulnerability with a stranger on the train because he can’t hurt you, so you believe. Of course, the possibility of being vulnerable and lacking perceived risk is part of cyberspace’s bait to lure us into its net. In real-world relationships like our families or the local church, it’s more challenging to “unlike” somebody. When bad things happen and hurts accumulate, we have to deal with them biblically (or not).Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/what-to-do-about-disinhibition-cyber-effects-4-0/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
The teen is not the only struggling soul looking for a community. Sometimes, I will hear a person talk about how they met a stranger, and within minutes, they had an in-depth personal conversation with them. They glow about how easy and natural it was to talk. Then they say, “And he was a perfect stranger!” This interaction is called the “stranger on the train phenomenon.”Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/what-to-do-about-stranger-cyber-effects-3-0/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Growing old will happen to all of us if we live long enough, and for some of our friends, it can be a dreadful experience, especially if it’s hard to come to terms with one’s physical and spiritual condition. Everyone’s experience of growing old is different, motivating us to consider our stories with compassion and courage. However, due to fallenness, a few typical tripwires can catch us if we’re not careful. I want to share ten of them with you.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-493-practical-advice-on-growing-older-and-finishing-well/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
One of the most potent effects of the second fiddle phenomenon happens in a child's life when he grows into an adult. The young teen is transitioning from kid to adult. He's different in every way. It's a frightful time for many of these children. Their bodies are changing. They're starting to sound differently. Their desires and habits are changing. They look different and are insecure as they begin to wonder who they are. The transitioning child significantly depends on others at this crucial age regarding identity formation.Read Here:Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
There is a discussion about whether cyberspace is real or not. We know what a real, tactile place is, but what is cyberspace? You can't touch or feel it. Is it real? If you were to make a case for cyberspace being real, how would you steel man your position? The arguments are compelling on both sides, but there is a more straightforward way to cut through the debate. The next time someone is on their phone, converse with them. Are they "with you" or somewhere else, regardless of how you define that other place?Read Here:Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Small groups have been widely implemented in a local church for multiple decades. When rightly understood and implemented, these groups complement the Sunday sermon, assisting church members in applying God’s Word. Maturation in Christ requires knowledge and application. Here are ten vital keys to help leaders gain the most from their small group experience.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-492-ten-vital-keys-for-small-group-leaders/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Technology, social media, and the Internet can be redemptive instruments in the hands of individuals who want to do good and know how to accomplish those positive purposes practically. Of course, the implication in a fallen world is clear: technology in the hands of someone who does not have redemptive values can disrupt and do harm to their souls and those around them. We all have stories of technology’s misuse, which includes our tensions and temptations with social media, making it worth our time to ask the intrusive questions that might help us to consider more practically how to use technology redemptively. What is the cyber effect of technology on your soul? Do you have a practical plan to guard against the potential problems associated with technology, the Internet, and social media?Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/what-is-the-cyber-effect-and-what-you-can-do-about-it/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
“How can I change?” is one of the more common questions asked when people think through the challenges and responsibilities of becoming a better believer. Changing, improving, and maturing is at the heart of the gospel: Christ came to seek and save the lost, giving us an alien righteousness, creating the possibility of becoming like Him. While biblical responses to the how can I change question vary, sometimes what folks say are off the mark. For example, let go and let God minimizes personal responsibility. Look out for number one sabotages loving God and others most of all. Let your conscience be your guide does not consider the malleable inner voice. Christians can do better because we have a surer Word. Thus, the question remains, how do you change?Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/five-things-you-need-to-know-in-order-to-change/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Rick interviews Dr. Daniel Berger about the Matt Walsh documentary What Is a Woman? He also responds to Dr. Miriam Grossman’s interview with Rick about Lost in Trans Nation. Daniel provides a biblical definition for a woman, cutting through the confusion with the clarity that only God’s Word can bring.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-491-daniel-berger-what-is-a-woman-biblically-speaking/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Each local church has a unique personality that reflects its leadership. In context, the word church refers to those who have been attending for a while and are actively participating in the environments and equipping ministries that the leadership provides. Nominal Christians or inconsistent attendees are not part of the demographic in view here. Because of the leaders’ influence, assessing the church’s model for ministry is vital because no two leaders are the same, making no two churches the same. Let’s examine six standard church models by looking at their upsides and downsides.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/what-kind-of-church-do-you-attend-here-are-six-models/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
One of the most important questions you’ll ever ask yourself is why you attend your local church. Outside the family unit, the local church is the primary context where sanctification happens among Christians, making how we think about and participate in our local churches crucial. Assuming you’re part of a local church, Why do you attend? Perhaps you’re part of the de-church movement; if so, Why have you stopped attending a local church?Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/why-do-you-attend-your-church/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Rick Thomas interviews Sophie Ottaway, born as a boy but engineered to be a girl when he was two. Sophie had a physical abnormality but did not find out until he was twenty-two. Sophie is thirty-seven years old today. Sophie tells the story of what the doctors did, why the parents went along with it, the secrets kept, how he found out, and why Sophie chooses to live as a girl today. Sophie's story is incredible, honest, sad, and inspiring.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-490-sophie-ottaway-engineered-at-birth-to-be-a-girl/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Living in a relationship with anyone means you will be disappointed and hurt by them. It is unavoidable. Since Adam fell in the Garden of Eden, we have been helplessly unable to escape a relational conflict. May I test my thesis? Have you ever been hurt by someone? Have you ever been annoyed with another person? What about being disappointed or put out by the actions of a close friend? Maybe it was a relative Yes, I know, these are silly questions. Of course, you have. Living in a fallen world among fallen souls implies friction, conflict, and disappointment. They have done it to us, and we have done it to them.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-benefit-of-being-intentionally-intrusive-in-your-relationships/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – In this interview, Rick talks to Miriam Grossman, MD, a board-certified in psychiatry and the sub-specialty of child and adolescent psychiatry. Before gender ideology was on anyone’s radar, she warned parents about its falsehoods and dangers in her 2009 book about sexuality education, “You’re Teaching My Child WHAT?” Dr. Grossman’s practice currently focuses on gender-distressed young people and their parents. She believes that every child is born in the right body. Dr Grossman has been vocal about ideologues’ capture of her profession, leading to dangerous and experimental treatments on children and betrayal of parents.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-489-dr-miriam-grossman-lost-in-trans-nation/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Let us go ahead and level the playing field: we are all clueless to some degree. We all need help. We all need grace. It does not matter your demographic; we need God’s grace and mercy. We are grace-dependent creatures, which is a cross-elevating, ground-leveling truth that motivates us never to judge anyone uncharitably. Perhaps a few illustrations about this universal clueless problem would be helpful.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-to-care-for-clueless-people/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Everybody loves to experience God’s mercy when we behave poorly. The alternative is the Lord’s corrective displeasure. When there is a crime, our impulse is to hope for something we don’t deserve. Have you considered applying the same perspective for your enemies, those folks you dislike? “Blessing for me but not for thee,” the cry of the spiteful heart. Perhaps this notion strikes you as odd, so I’ll illustrate it with my friends, Biff and Mable.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-problem-with-gods-kindness-when-you-want-to-be-angry/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – There are two competing authorities in our culture today that present the pathway to transformation. The secular psychological community put forth the DSM as the authority to transform your life, while the Christian believes the Bible is the world's transcending, authoritative psychology book that brings peace and change to the soul. The one you choose will determine the course and quality of your life. Rick compares the two in this webinar while making a persuasive case for God's Word as the authority over our souls.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-488-webinar-our-competing-psychologies/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
A throne addiction is when a person refuses to allow God to be the King of their life; they will not relinquish their throne to the only rightful authority to our lives. The addict to the throne has fully bought into the first lie of Satan—you can be a god (Genesis 3:5). After the fall, humanity came with a pre-wired craving to a throne addiction. We call it total depravity, which is why we must be born a second time (John 3:7). The bad news is that becoming born again does not insulate us from the encroachments of a throne addiction.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-one-thing-you-need-to-step-down-from-your-throne/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
God is a God of second chances. Have you ever heard that expression? It is one of those things we like to say about God. It is a Christian cliché that we cherish because we understand the need for and benefit of getting a second opportunity. We came into the world needing a second chance; God gave us the gospel: Christ died for our sins (Romans 5:12). Without a second shot, we would be eternally divorced from God, but the good news does not stop. After regeneration, we need repeated second chances, the beauty of confession and forgiveness (1 John 1:9).Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/admitting-failure-gives-you-a-second-chance-from-god/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Rick interviewed Dr. Daniel R. Berger II, the founder and director of Alethia International Ministries (AIM), where he continues to write and speak around the world in churches, organizations, medical communities, and at various counseling and teacher's conferences. He is also an experienced pastor, counselor, school administrator, and the author of many books, which focus on biblical counseling, biblical phenomenology, practical theology, education, parenting, and the history and philosophy behind the current mental health construct. In this interview, Rick asked Daniel several questions that were submitted to Rick after he led a conference in Calgary, Canada. Instead of Rick answering them, he asked Daniel to share his perspective on the Bible, disorders, DSM-5-TR, medications, and more. This interview was divided into two parts. Here is part two.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-487-daniel-berger-discusses-disorders-and-medication-pt-2/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
How do you think about the trouble in your life? I counsel a lot of Christians who have a lot of adverse things happening to them. In a way, they are modern-day representations of Jonah—their difficulties are swallowing them up. One of the things I want to communicate to my friends in trouble is how they need a bigger vision of who God is, especially when life is stormy. Did you know that anything God does to you or allows to happen to you is because He loves you?Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/do-you-understand-the-point-of-your-trouble/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
What do you think about when a storm comes into your life? When things are dreadful, how do you wrestle through what’s happening to you? Where does your mind go? I suppose most of us succumb to the temptation to focus more on the storm happening to us than the God of the storm. It makes sense: the storm is more real and nearer to us than the Creator of storms. God is out there, but the storm is right here, as our self-reliant spirit kicks in.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/when-god-hurls-a-storm-at-you/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Rick interviewed Dr. Daniel R. Berger II, the founder and director of Alethia International Ministries (AIM), where he continues to write and speak around the world in churches, organizations, medical communities, and at various counseling and teacher’s conferences. He is also an experienced pastor, counselor, school administrator, and the author of many books, which focus on biblical counseling, biblical phenomenology, practical theology, education, parenting, and the history and philosophy behind the current mental health construct. In this interview, Rick asked Daniel several questions that were submitted to Rick after he led a conference in Calgary, Canada. Instead of Rick answering them, he asked Daniel to share his perspective on the Bible, disorders, DSM-5-TR, medications, and more. This interview was divided into two parts. Here is part one.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-486-daniel-berger-discusses-disorders-and-medication-pt-1/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
The heart of the gospel is about loving difficult people. Jesus came to seek and save the lost. His death on the cross for undeserving people is the primary example that teaches us this grand imitateable truth of loving our friends and foes well (Ephesians 5:1). Christ does not ask us to do things He is unwilling to do. He became the tested and sympathetic Savior, giving up His life for those who did not deserve such love (Hebrews 4:15), making Him the reason we should not forget this transformative aspect of our biblical heritage. It is also our responsibility to pursue those who rub us the wrong way.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/a-profound-reason-to-love-that-difficult-person-in-your-life/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Rick interviewed Lucas Miles, a trusted voice in the American church who has consistently addressed some of the most challenging topics in theology, politics, and culture. He hosts The Epoch Times’ Church & State with Lucas Miles, which was named the 2023 “Program of the Year” by the National Religious Broadcasters organization. Lucas has been syndicated in articles across both political and religious news outlets, such as Newsmax, The Blaze, FlashPoint, Fox News, The Washington Times, CBN, and The Christian Post. In addition to his newest book, Woke Jesus: The False Messiah Destroying Christianity, Lucas is the author of the best-selling book, The Christian Left: How Liberal Thought Has Hijacked the Church, as well as the critically acclaimed book, Good God: The One We Want to Believe in But Are Afraid to Embrace.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-485-lucas-miles-author-of-woke-jesus/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Forgiveness is the exclusive domain and the divinely given privilege of the redeemed. Non-Christians cannot be free from sin because they are children of the devil, and God will not forgive any transgression until they become children of the light. Believers, however, can experience release from all their transgressions through forgiveness. This divinely granted gift is the means of grace that allows us to have relationships as God intended, bringing us to the all-important question: How do you live out forgiveness, practically speaking?Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/a-time-to-forgive-a-time-you-cant-forgive/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
During the six months, I worked with Mable, I began reorienting her life toward a God-centered way of thinking and living. The process was not easy, and there were a few setbacks. Perseverance was vital, as well as her humility. God does provide His empowering favor to the humble. Though Mable did struggle with rebuilding her theological foundation, identifying her faulty worship structure, and applying the gospel practically, she stayed the course, appropriated God’s grace, and experienced Divine favor. I asked her to process and implement the following assignments, projects, and initiatives. Some of these items she could start immediately, while others would take practice to create the necessary disciplines to mature in sanctification. Finally, I gave her a few thoughts as she cooperated with God to restore her husband, Biff.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-nine-homework-for-a-cold-marriage/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – This practical webinar about parenting our children will help any parent, empty nester, or soon-to-be parents learn how to release their children into the culture where they will eventually live. Parents want them to live less under our guidance and governance and more under God's direction and authority. Take notes and learn essential insights about parenting our children from zero to adulthood.Show Notes:Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
I have a friend who lived in open adultery for eighteen years. He was not a Christian and was not shy about his lifestyle. His wife, like Mable, knew most of his sins. My friend’s wife chose to honor God by staying in the marriage. She did not have to because she had biblical grounds for divorce, but she decided to stick it out, which the Bible does not prohibit. There is no doubt that God gave her supernatural grace to persevere through her husband’s many sins. He finally repented of his sins in June 1988, the day God regenerated him. Since then, he has faithfully loved and served his family in the context of a local church. The story of my friend is analogous to Biff and Mable’s story.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-eight-god-is-already-there/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
When a marriage grows cold, and only one spouse is willing to work on it, that spouse must juxtapose two Biblical responsibilities: being free in Christ while working on the marriage alone for the advancement of the gospel. Paul said in Philippians 1:12, reflecting upon his prison sentence, “I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has served to advance the gospel.” I wanted Mable to have a firm grip on the gospel, how it can free her in the prison of her marriage while releasing her to be a redemptive force in Biff’s life. Mable needed to know that she could walk in the Savior’s steps with supernatural joy, regardless of the future state of her marriage.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-seven-working-on-marriage-alone/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Rick interviewed Hollywood actor Kevin Sorbo, known for his roles in Hercules, Left Behind, and God's Not Dead. His latest movie is Miracle in East Texas. Kevin is a Christian and outspoken about what is happening in our culture. He talked to Rick about his passion for America and desire to make a difference in our culture through Christian moviemaking and advocacy for conservative changes.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-483-interview-with-kevin-sorbo-hollywood-actor/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
When a person does not trust God, there are three primary reasons. I call these our faith-killers. We cannot trust God if we are angry with Him. We cannot trust God if we are afraid of Him. We cannot trust God if we do not know Him well. Mable had a hard time trusting God, which positioned her to succumb to a self-reliant worldview and practice. If we’re not going to trust the Lord, we must trust ourselves, making us self-sufficient. I wanted Mable to see these things, so I dismantled each faith-killer during our next counseling sessions.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-six-our-common-faith-killers/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Once Mable understood the gospel, I began to walk her through how she should respond to Christ. The gospel is God’s most extravagant outpouring of His love to the world. There is nothing more profound that the Father could have done to prove His love to us than execute His Son on the cross. The gospel is God’s final and complete answer to the question, “Is God good?” He is good. He is profoundly good. Unfortunately, though Mable told me that God is good, there was an objective disconnect between what she knew to be accurate and how she lived that truth out in her life. She did not practicalize the gospel, speaking of God’s goodness specifically.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-five-the-self-sufficient-soul/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Judd T. Saul started Equipping the Persecuted Ministry in 2011 after God led him to Nigeria to see the devastation happening on the ground to our brothers and sisters in Africa. The mission is to protect, rebuild, and strengthen families in both body and spirit. Equipping the Persecuted can respond with resources necessary after an attack within 24 hours. They provide medical aid, food, and a prayer team to comfort victims.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-482-judd-t-saul-with-equipping-the-persecuted/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
A common rebuttal to the need theory concept is that we need love. I understand the perspective, but the truth is that we need a relationship with God; if we have that, and our relationship with Him is proper, our demands on other humans to meet our cravings for love should not control us. If we are practically realizing and resting in the gospel, we can turn the tables on all our relationships; rather than being deficient takers, we can be abundant givers. We can love others rather than expect others to meet our desires for love. We will be Christlike: the way to get is to give.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-four-start-with-the-gospel/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
The most significant trap that tripped up Mable was that her desire for marriage and companionship had morphed into something God never intended. She had gotten caught up in the self-centered craving for perceived needs, as popularized by our culture. She saw the good God offered her through the lens of contemporary Christian literature rather than through the lens of Scripture. “Love Languages,” “Love and Respect,” “His Needs, Her Needs”: these are some of the books and buzzwords that are bandied about Christendom to find wholeness, resolve relational conflict, and live your best life now. While I understand why such materials exist, in marriage counseling specifically, these concepts are generally more of a hindrance than a help.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-three-the-snare-of-perceived-needs/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Have you ever wondered how it is possible to believe the right things yet do the wrong things? It happens regularly—at least to me. I am in situations where I have the opportunity to do the right thing. Sometimes, I make the wrong choice in those moments—even when I know what the right decision should be. A wrong response creates a gap between what I know to do and what I actually do. My orthodoxy says one thing; my orthopraxy reveals another. If you are like me, there is a gap between what you know and what you do too.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-reason-what-you-believe-and-what-you-do-are-different/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Rick and Lucia Thomas answer a stack of questions from our Life Over Coffee community. They address marriage conflict, communication, anger, dating, introversion, parenting, functional atheism, confronting others, and much more. You’ll love their interaction and the practical application of the gospel in their lives as they share with you things they have learned as a couple imperfectly following God.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-481-rick-and-lucia-answering-your-questions/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
After a couple of sessions of getting to know Mable, I began to ask her specific questions regarding her fundamental understanding of theology and how that theology worked out practically in her life. I knew that if I could uncover what she believed about God and how she applied her understanding of God to her life, I would start to understand how she had gotten to this place in her life and marriage. The answer to every issue that she would ever encounter, including her current marriage problems, would, in the final analysis, flow out of her theology: specifically, how she thought about God and how she practically applied those thoughts to her life. My initial point-of-focus was Romans 8:28.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-two-mables-lonely-journey-begins/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
I met Mable at a conference, where she approached me with a soft-bound copy of my Help! My Marriage Has Grown Cold booklet in her hand. She said that God had transformed her life and marriage through this little booklet. She asked me to sign it, which I gratefully obliged. The storyline is about a lady who decided to work on her marriage despite her husband's unwillingness. I hope many more couples find the same hope and help as Mable did as they read and apply what I have written.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-one-the-desperate-housewife/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Marriage is a long-term, forever relationship with no escape clause. I realize there are biblical reasons for divorce, but it’s not how things should be. Typically, when there is a divorce, it’s because the couple has done something to kill their marriage. A gentleman wrote me a few years ago in tears. He saw my graphic about ten ways to kill your marriage and said he did all ten. Here are those ten things, and I wrap up with ten ways to bless your marriage.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-480-ten-ways-to-kill-your-marriage/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
A happy home does not just happen. Like all good things, you must have a plan and be willing to execute hard work (Luke 14:27). The good news is that Christians have the schematic for happiness, which begins with confession and forgiveness. The crucial concern centers on whether we’ll do the hard work of confessing our transgressions and forgiving each other. The couple that understands this path to reconciliation and practices it will not stop until they become the beneficiaries of a happy home.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-non-negotiable-first-step-to-build-a-happy-home/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Into the Light is a teaching documentary on freedom from pornography that walks through the change process from bondage in sin to freedom in Christ. Jacob Valk and John-Michael Bout are the creators. Rick Thomas sat down with Jacob to talk about why he and John-Michael created this teaching documentary, Jacob’s life in Canada, his migration to Southern Seminary, and future aspirations as they serve the body of Christ with more world-class instructional videos that address sexual confusion and the Bible’s solutions for this global problem that dominates so much of our lives.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-479-jacob-valk-into-the-light-documentary/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
We will never forget the tragedy of 9/11. Most of us old enough to remember such things know exactly where we were on that tragic day. I was sitting in my counseling office at our local church, staring blankly at a TV screen as the news unfolded. The best word to describe my mental state was surreal, and it continues to boggle my mind to think how anyone could be so twisted that they would fly a plane into a building and kill 3,000 innocent lives. But then I think of myself in my evil moments of misplaced faith. It’s scary. Though none of us will do what those terrorists did, we can go down a regrettable path of misplaced faith and hard heart, believing what we’re doing is the right thing, begging the question: How can a heart become so hardened that we think what we’re doing is okay, even though it’s evident to everyone else we’re wrong?Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/911-a-study-in-misplaced-faith-and-a-hardened-conscience/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Biff asked, “As a believer, does God’s Word require me to forgive a relative of mine time after time—essentially let her off the hook—for her unkind behavior and attitude toward me and the many cruel and untrue things she has done behind my back to other family members? She never asks for forgiveness and only tells me I need to understand her feelings. Am I wrong to stay my distance and set some boundaries?” What would you say to Biff? Have you ever had a situation like this? How did you handle it?Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/am-i-to-forgive-someone-who-is-not-asking-3/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Whenever there is a sin event between two people, there will always be a need to ask for and grant forgiveness. If they do not transact forgiveness, their relationship will not be all God intends. This episode is the second of a two-part series where Rick Thomas drills deep into the elements of forgiveness. Please listen to or watch Episodes 477 and 478 to understand forgiveness fully.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-478-what-to-do-after-two-people-forgive-each-other/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Forgiveness is only one aspect of the change process. It does not imply a complete change when discussing repentance because there are several links in the repentance chain. However, forgiveness is a vital mile marker that leads to complete repentance, making this link non-negotiable if we do not do it well. We cannot experience reconciliation and restoration—the subsequent steps in the order of repentance, if we don’t biblically forgive.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/i-will-forgive-you-if-you-promise-to-change/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Forgiveness is a multifaceted God-centered opportunity for two people to reconcile after there is a transgression. It's not always straightforward because of the complexity of sin and some relationship complications. Each person must work hard to understand biblical forgiveness and do all they can to reconcile when sin divides two people. In this talk, I will walk through many aspects of forgiveness, making practical applications in various situations.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-477-breaking-down-forgiveness-practically-speaking/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Forgiving yourself is an odd teaching that has crept into Christians’ understanding of sanctification. It’s part of the culture’s futile way of thinking, hoping to get rid of their sins. They must try because they sense the same shame we do, but because they reject God and His Word, they create policies and pathways to alleviate their soul noise, always leading down dead-end streets and box canyons. Without God, they blindly grope for the walls, making self-forgiveness a culturally common sense way of feeling psychologically better. “You just need to forgive yourself” is a typical way people apply this secular doctrine within their communities.Read More: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-danger-of-forgiving-yourself/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
We watched The Blind Side a few weeks after it came out. We had heard rave reviews about the movie. Nearly every review, from the network of movie reviewers, connected to Hollywood to many of my friends, gave it the proverbial two thumbs-up. The conservative movie constituency applauded this film. Sandra Bullock won an Academy Award for her part as the lead. It was a no-brainer to watch, and, as usual, I cried at four different points during the movie.
Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-sad-side-to-the-blind-side/
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Shows Main Idea – Do you have a friend who does not mind telling you what’s wrong with you but never admits any of their mistakes, inadequacies, or sins? Working through and sustaining these kinds of non-reciprocating, inequitable relationships is challenging. May I walk you through ten ways to respond to a friend more willing to admit your faults than their own? Knowing how to lead relationships like these is vital.
Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-66-ten-responses-friend-wont-admit-wrong/
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Have you ever granted forgiveness to someone who hurt you? Did you mean it? Did you really mean it? Or did you say, “I forgive you,” because it is the Christian thing to do? I’m not asking this question with a cynical eye. I’m asking because I know from personal experience there are times we can mouth the words “I forgive you,” but the heart can be far from genuine. We can succumb to Christian speak to smooth over the situation, but our internal logic says we have more heart work to do to be right with God and the person we supposedly forgave.
Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/pre-forgiveness-is-a-prerequisite-before-you-can-genuinely-forgive-someone/
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Biff destroyed his marriage. Shortly after that, he experienced conviction from God for what he did. His repentance was genuine, as affirmed by his pastor, several other church leaders, and two of his workmates. In response to the Lord’s maneuvering in his heart and with the blessing and oversight of his pastor, Biff made an authentic confession to God and his wife, Mable. In a strange turn of events, the man who destroyed his family wants to be part of God’s restoration team to put it back together again. Analogous to Christ and us, the offenders cooperate with the offended for God’s glory, our benefit, and the good of others.
Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-man-who-destroyed-our-home-wants-forgiveness/
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Shows Main Idea – In this seventh lesson, Rick helps us understand the benefit of increasing our opportunities for godly relationships by choosing friends, spouses, and disciplers wisely. This seven-part series builds one upon the other, so watching them in order is best. We also recommend you watch the video to read the content, see all the animations, and download all the supplemental graphics. Afterward, you can listen to the audio while driving, walking, and going about your day. The audio will bring back the visuals, cementing this content into your mind, a process that will transform your mind and relationships.
Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-475-friendship-series-choosing-relationships-wisely-7/
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In our culture today, the phrase “I’m sorry” has become our first response when we sin against each other. The term has nearly wholly replaced biblical forgiveness. It is a passive statement that does not require the offender and offended to engage in meaningful, biblical transactional forgiveness. Perhaps “I’m sorry” is a good start in relational reconciliation, but the phrase will never complete the needed task when sin is in play and grace is available. Transactional forgiveness is the antidote that neutralizes and obliterates the sin, setting the stage for those in the transgressive dust-up to reconcile with each other.
Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/dont-apologize-dont-say-im-sorry/
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Shows Main Idea – In this sixth lesson, Rick talks about how we speak volumes through our attitudes, actions, and priorities. Learn wise actions and priorities that will build godly relationships. This seven-part series builds one upon the other, so watching them in order is best. We also recommend you watch the video to read the content, see all the animations, and download all the supplemental graphics. Afterward, you can listen to the audio while driving, walking, and going about your day. The audio will bring back the visuals, cementing this content into your mind, a process that will transform your mind and relationships.
Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-474-friendship-series-actions-that-build-relationships-6/
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Self-reliant people live in a self-constructed, self-sustained worship structure that diverts their faith in God to rely on themselves, hoping to engineer pre-determined outcomes. It is not anyone’s real world because complete self-sufficiency is an impossible feat to achieve. No finite soul can be totally reliant. Not even Jesus had that ability—in His humanness. God did not create us to be autonomous creatures but to live within a hierarchy of trust and obedience.
Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/mind-mapping-detailed-study-self-reliance/
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It's easier to trust God when you're in control of things than when you're out of control and you're unsure what will happen next. Being in control provides you with a sense of security, confidence, and comfort, albeit it's man-made. The downside to this human-centered worldview is that it's misplaced faith. God calls us to trust Him, not our circumstances. He is the object of our faith, not preferred outcomes. Because of our loyalty to self-reliance, He may push us beyond our preferences and predictions to teach us to rely on Him.
Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/its-easier-to-trust-god-when-youre-in-control/
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Shows Main Idea – In this fifth lesson, Rick walks through how Scriptures teach us words that build up and forbid words that tear down. Knowing and practicing these words foster godly relationships. This seven-part series builds one upon the other, so watching them in order is best. We also recommend you watch the video to read the content, see all the animations, and download all the supplemental graphics. Afterward, you can listen to the audio while driving, walking, and going about your day. The audio will bring back the visuals, cementing this content into your mind, a process that will transform your mind and relationships.
Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-473-friendship-series-words-that-build-relationships-5/
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Dying to ourselves is the hardest thing we will ever do, and it’s not a one-time appointment with God. Death to self is a repeated act of submitting ourselves to the Lord. The good news is that He helps us in this life-long process by incrementally, systematically, and purposely putting us to death. Did you know God is working behind the scenes to undermine any remaining self-reliance in us so we can trust Him more effectively? Sometimes He must sabotage our self-sufficiency to teach us to rely on Him who raises the dead.
Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/god-is-incrementally-systematically-and-purposely-putting-you-to-death/
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Shows Main Idea – In this fourth lesson, Rick talks about how we have all been hurt and have hurt others. Therefore true repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation are needed. This seven-part series builds one upon the other, so watching them in order is best. We also recommend you watch the video to read the content, see all the animations, and download all the supplemental graphics. Afterward, you can listen to the audio while driving, walking, and going about your day. The audio will bring back the visuals, cementing this content into your mind, a process that will transform your mind and relationships.
Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-472-friendship-series-overcoming-mistrust-and-hurt-4/
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Striving for self-generated perfection is as futile as attempting to save ourselves because it perpetuates internal turmoil and frustrates our closest friends. Though God does not want us to live sloppy, haphazard lives, He does want us to know that perfection comes through our weaknesses—our inability to be perfect, not our strengths. The appeal of God’s Word is clear; if we’re going to boast, make it in our weaknesses, accompanied by His miraculous strength that operates in us.
Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/eight-reasons-perfection-does-not-glorify-god/
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If our aim is perfection, we have two options. We can strive to be perfect through our strengths or accept someone else’s perfection as ours. The first option is not tenable because we cannot live mistake-free, unless we lowered the high standard of perfection to meet its requirements, leaving us with the second option as a breath of fresh air. To have someone vouch for us by providing their perfection is grace unmerited and the privilege of every Christian.
Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/cheap-law-lowering-gods-standard-in-order-to-be-perfect/
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Shows Main Idea – In this third lesson, Rick makes a case that as described and demonstrated in Scripture, strong godly relationships provide the plan and pathway to build well with others. This seven-part series builds one upon the other, so watching them in order is best. We also recommend you watch the video to read the content, see all the animations, and download all the supplemental graphics. Afterward, you can listen to the audio while driving, walking, and going about your day. The audio will bring back the visuals, cementing this content into your mind, a process that will transform your mind and relationships.
Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-471-friendship-series-defining-godly-relationships-3/
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An unguarded strength is a double weakness because we rarely guard our strengths because we think of them as good, not realizing that our abilities can entrap us, keeping us from relying on God. Let me illustrate my point with a counseling session with a mother and daughter. The child's strength was her intellect, propelling her to do well in school. The unguardedness of her skills created a darkness in the child's life that brought them to counseling. If we are not wise in stewarding our strengths, we can become blind, too.
Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/when-education-becomes-deadly-to-a-childs-soul/
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Boasting in your weakness is a strange juxtaposition of words. Typically, you don't connect boasting with weakness unless you mock someone about their inability to accomplish a feat. We call it bullying. But in God's economy, boasting is something every Christian should do as they think about being weak, vulnerable, and fragile because mature believers know that God will not compete with them. It can't be strength and strength but weakness and strength. We see this concept in the death of Christ, causing the disciples to struggle to wrap their minds around the counterintuitive gospel message.
Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/what-does-it-mean-to-boast-in-your-weaknesses/
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Shows Main Idea – In this second lesson, Rick discusses that the sufficiency of Scripture means we can trust God's commands regarding relationships, whether others treat us right or not. This seven-part series builds one upon the other, so watching them in order is best. We also recommend you watch the video to read the content, see all the animations, and download all the supplemental graphics. Afterward, you can listen to the audio while driving, walking, and going about your day. The audio will bring back the visuals, cementing this content into your mind, a process that will transform your mind and relationships.
Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-470-friendship-series-trusting-gods-word-2/
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The situational difficulties we face are the contexts that reveal our hearts, which is how God purifies our faith and obedience. These personal, relational, and situational challenges are our opportunities to follow Jesus in the Christian’s call to suffer. Paul discussed it as boasting in his weakness, but what does that mean? I want to take you on a journey through the New Testament, laying out how God chooses life’s foolish and weak things to confound the wise. Every dinged and dented jar of clay that God uses understands this “boasting in weakness worldview,” but for many of our brothers and sisters, it continues to be a mental challenge to shift from their former manner of life (Ephesians 4:22).
Read More: https://lifeovercoffee.com/god-calls-you-to-suffer/
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A cracked jar of clay does not have to be a bad thing: if you know the potter. God prefers His creation to be fragile jars of clay, so He can display His miraculous, surpassing power to our friends and the culture. Of course, there is a problem with this perspective. Adamic clay pots are not content being fragile, vulnerable, or weak. We envy strength, power, might, and other self-reliant strategies for self-protection and, sometimes, self-promotion. This counterintuitive message about the gospel cuts against the grain of proud hearts.
Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-reason-god-wants-you-a-fragile-jar-of-clay/
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Shows Main Idea – In this first lesson, Rick discusses how the Triune God is the foundation of all godly relationships. Loving and glorifying God necessarily leads to loving others. This seven-part series builds one upon the other, so watching them in order is best. We also recommend you watch the video to read the content, see all the animations, and download all the supplemental graphics. Afterward, you can listen to the audio while driving, walking, and going about your day. The audio will bring back the visuals, cementing this content into your mind, a process that will transform your mind and relationships.
Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-469-friendship-series-knowing-and-loving-god-1/
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One of the most critical questions a wife could ask herself is how she compares herself to her husband. Is she better, worse, or similar to her husband? How she thinks about her role in her marriage and relationship with her husband will determine the trajectory of the union, for good or bad. I’m assuming—for this discussion—that both spouses are maturing, humble, and willing to communicate on the level this worldview requires. If one or both partners are pulling against each other, what I have to say here will not apply. So, how do you compare yourself to your husband?
Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/essential-qualities-of-an-effective-wife/
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Shows Main Idea – There are five universal reactions to our mistakes. Four of them are wrong, and one is correct. As you think about what you do wrong, what is your most common response after making a mistake? Let’s say you sin against someone, and they confront you about what you did. Which one of these common responses do you typically use? Understanding our tendencies is the first step in changing. If your most common response is one of the four, I trust the next few minutes will be life-changing for you.
Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-46-four-mistakes-people-make-feel-better/
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When discussing submission problems in a marriage, we should equally scrutinize the submission and leadership constructs. It’s not an either/or proposition. For example, a half analysis focuses solely on the man’s leadership or the wife’s submission, leaving holes in the reconciliation process. We must examine both sides of the one-flesh coin. Typically, I start with the man’s leadership since he’s the functional leader of the home. I’m not suggesting I neglect the wife’s role to submit, but the correct starting point is vital if the goal is to help a couple work through their problems.
Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/submission-is-never-the-main-problem-in-a-marriage/
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It is common for someone to confuse their various roles within a hierarchal structure and their coequality with everyone within those structures. For example, a wife can be a sister, mother, employer, employee, church member, and citizen. She fits within all those structures and she's equal to every person within those contexts. This perspective does not negate each other but expand the possibilities for how she can love God and others most effectively. One of the misguided roles that some women accept (or resign to) is that they are lesser than their husbands, with no responsibility to speak into their lives. This perspective can be tragic, especially if the husband walks away from God and His Word.
Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/going-over-your-husbands-head-to-help-him/
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Shows Main Idea – Nancy Pearcey is the author of The Toxic War on Masculinity: How Christianity Reconciles the Sexes, as well as Love Thy Body, The Soul of Science, Saving Leonardo, Finding Truth, and Total Truth. She is a professor and scholar in residence at Houston Christian University. She has been quoted in The New Yorker and Newsweek, highlighted as one of the five top women apologists by Christianity Today, and hailed in The Economist as “America’s pre-eminent evangelical Protestant female intellectual.”
Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-467-nancy-pearcey-the-toxic-war-on-masculinity/
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Every wife is equal to her husband, even though there is a call on her life to submit to him. These are not opposing truths but a biblically common sense perspective on marriage. Hierarchy and equality do not compete but expand the possibilities for how a couple can meet their extraordinary potential, releasing the wife to practically come alongside her husband in a disciple-making capacity so he can be the best possible leader in their union.
Read More: https://lifeovercoffee.com/practical-thoughts-on-leading-your-husband-from-behind/
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A wife can be a husband’s most significant asset or a complicating liability. Most of us know this about our complementary roles in our marriages, but I wonder how many wives have thought through how to be an asset to their husbands by humbly leading them while submitting to them. Though a wife’s calling is to a particular role of submission in the marriage, it does not mean she can’t step into a Christlike leadership example to her husband, as a coequal image-bearer.
Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-a-wife-can-lead-her-husband/
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Shows Main Idea – Did you know a wife can unwittingly motivate her husband to continue in his passivity? Suppose she does not understand the dynamics of his heart, shaping influences, and habituated ways of responding to social challenges. In that case, she may be unable to cooperate with the Lord to restore him to the leadership role God has called him to. Though she is not responsible for his sin, a wife can complicate what is happening to him, motivating him to continue in his passivity. Discerning a spouse's tendencies and strategizing how to serve each other are gifts from God.
Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-45-wife-can-motivate-husband-passive/
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Harshness is one of the most typical forms of anger, and the most common context for it is within a family construct, especially between a husband and wife. When you put two or more sinners in a box for an extended period, their rawest Adamic tendencies will be impossible to hide. Dating is great, but living together forever increases the possibilities of sin exponentially. I trust these seven considerations will help if you’re married to a harsh person.
Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/seven-things-to-remember-when-living-with-a-harsh-husband/
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Sometimes you can forgive someone for their sin against you and reconcile with them. It’s a beautiful picture of the power of the gospel. Other times you can forgive them, but you won’t be able to reconcile with them, another picture, albeit incomplete, of the gospel. The first forgiveness opportunity is transactional, while the second is attitudinal—in your heart. Either way, you can experience freedom from the sin of others if you will forgive. The best case is transactional, where both parties experience freedom, but sometimes all you can do is forgive them in your heart.
Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-need-to-forgive-even-if-you-dont-reconcile/
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Shows Main Idea – What does it mean to live a gospel-centered life? It’s a label and worldview that most Christians have heard. The gospel-centered life is practical, but many Christians do not know how to connect the gospel to everyday life. What does it mean? The gospel is an excellent idea for them but does not transform their lives or relationships. In this podcast, I will provide you with three essential ingredients to live an authentic, practical, gospel-centered life.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-44-missing-ingredients-gospel-centered-life/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Sometimes in some relationships, a person will utilize unforgiveness as a tool for self-protection. They weaponize unforgiveness, even if they do so unwittingly. They might hold on to unforgiveness because they have been hurt so many times by the same person, usually a spouse. They are frustrated and disappointed and believe there is no other recourse but a self-reliant means of self-protection. Suppose you sense this is happening with a friend. In that case, you must tread courageously and carefully as you help them see how they are complicating—even self-sabotaging—an already complicated matter.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-power-of-unforgiveness-when-used-as-a-weapon/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
A lady asked, “Would you be willing to write about living with an immature husband and how to respond to him biblically? I need help; I would much appreciate it if you could give me some advice.” Her question is not new to me. We are no longer a Christian society, a time when the Christian ethos was the zeitgeist, and it did not matter as much if you were a Christian because even the unregenerate culture had a clue what it meant to be a man. That day has passed. We have reared several generations where boys grow up with no biblically male templates that show them what it means to be good husbands.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/my-husband-is-immature-how-can-i-help-him/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Imperfect people are a universal problem. Most of the time, we do not struggle with the quirks of our fallenness—until we start living with one of those imperfect people. When you put two sinners in a box for an extended period, there will be problems, making it essential to have a game plan for living with an imperfect person. I have seven tips for your consideration as I weave the life and times of three quirky people I know into this all-important discussion about those people and things that can get under our skin.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/seven-tips-for-living-with-an-imperfect-person/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – PTSD is the DSM’s way of describing a tragic event in someone’s life. Something awful happens, and you carry the weight of that thing for years or decades, often resulting in triggers as those horrific moments flood and manage the mind. Did you know there is a biblical process for overcoming these devastating things that happen to us?Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-464-a-better-response-to-ptsd-and-other-triggering-events/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
A wife can be a husband’s most significant asset or his greatest liability. Most of us know this because people who live with each other affect those in the home—for good or evil. However, I wonder how many wives have thought through how much of an asset she is to their husbands by coming alongside them to complement, advise, share her wisdom, and disciple him, even while being submitted to them. The dual role of participating in the husband and wife hierarchy while living as a coequal is of inestimable value to any marriage.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/setting-aside-your-desires-to-lead-your-husband/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
How honest can you be with your spouse? Is your marriage vulnerable, safe, and robust enough to communicate honestly? Are you free from critique and condemnation, releasing you to talk transparently with your mate? How much have things changed since dating, when communication was not as cumbersome, constricted, or convoluted? Perhaps speaking freely in your marriage has become more challenging as the years go by, and if that is the case, I trust what I have to say will be the beginning of a new day.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-can-i-be-more-honest-with-my-spouse/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Maybe somebody has hurt you. Perhaps you can make as strong a case against that person who hurt you as I did against my mean father. According to my godless calculating, my dad was a worse sinner than me. At some level of my awareness, I knew I was sinful, but it was easy to compare tit for tat, and when I did that, I could hold on to my anger while playing the victim card. It’s a victim mindset that fuels ongoing, unabated anger. The truth is I am no different from my dad. There are no gradations of sinners when you stare at the Savior on a cross.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-463-sermon-how-not-to-harbor-hate-toward-someone/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
What makes Life Over Coffee different from other training organizations? Before moving on, will you “pause the tape” to answer my question? See how well you understand our purpose—what we are about, or if we need to improve how we communicate our purpose to you and the general public. Of all the acronyms (e.g., ABC, AACC, ACBC, CCEF, etc.), what makes us different from them?Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/why-our-ministry-is-different-from-other-counseling-ministries/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
No book can help your unique husband to become a better husband like you can. Sure, there are a zillion books, and we have the Bible, too. But when it comes to a wife’s role in helping her husband mature in Christ, she is his most effective means of grace to transformation. A man’s wife has a unique position to help a unique man grow into a unique representation of Jesus Christ. Of course, these ideas apply to a husband, too. He should be cooperating with God while exegeting the Bible to bring customizable care to his wife, but for now, I want to talk about a wife’s privilege in the marriage.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/a-unique-wife-helping-a-unique-man-change-is-the-best/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Welcome to our Introduction to Biblical Counseling training, a ten-part series. The goal is to teach you the practical aspects of being a biblical counselor. I prefer the word discipleship, being a disciple-maker is a calling for all Christians. These two labels are interchangeable, though biblical counseling is a sub-discipline that fits into the grander purposes of discipleship. Our culture and most Christians are familiar with counseling, but it does not fully explain all the possibilities of New Testament discipleship. As you go through this training, I trust you will find encouragement and conviction to follow the Lord's advice and make disciples. Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” The wisdom of Proverbs teaches how we will eat the fruit of our words, whether our words are good or bad. This truth can be particularly biting for the wife with a husband who does not fulfill God’s mandate to lead her well. Her temptation is to be critical. She needs God’s grace to help her live a submitted life that overcomes his deficiencies while not disparaging him with her words. It’s a tall order, but there is grace for this.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/power-critical-wife/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
What is the consistent spiritual direction of your home? Who is leading the family in that direction? Who is following the leader of your home? There is only one correct answer to these questions: the Lord must lead the family, and everyone else should follow Him according to the Bible’s hierarchy. If the home is set up in any other order, there will be dysfunction. No exceptions.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-necessity-of-the-double-dependent-wife/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Listening to someone to understand them does not mean we have to accept their views or follow their perspectives. We listen to people to learn from them to understand and help them. If we do not know them well, we cannot help them. How can we listen to people who believe differently from us but not allow them to convince us of their views or follow their ideology?Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-43-listen-others-without-swayed/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Because of the clarity of God’s Word, the path to life change is not mysterious or elusive. If it were complex, we’d all be in a mess. Did you know that Paul gave his protege, Timothy, a practical plan for change that we can replicate in our lives, too? Though Paul’s process is not the final or plenary word for transformation, it’s one of the most excellent thumbnail sketches you’ll find in Scripture. It’s concise, understandable, and, best of all, attainable.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/four-sequential-steps-to-change-your-life/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
If you know someone who is not changing, do not despair. There is a way to help them. I'm not suggesting they will change even if you did everything perfectly, but there is a process for transformation that every Christian should know. I will break down those dynamics of change for you—the essential elements to lead someone into Christlike transformation. I hope the Lord will use these thoughts as you serve those you love so well.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/if-your-friend-is-not-changing-consider-this/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Is bringing a baby into our evil world right? Where is the line between God’s sovereignty and personal responsibility? We live in a broken world that is full of evil. Every future parent knows that when they bring a baby into the world, the child struggles with brokenness and fallenness while tempted and affected by our corrupted culture. Where is the balance? How are we to think about these things?Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-42-bring-baby-evil-world/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Will you test yourself before you read this chapter? What are your thoughts toward those you would like to see change, especially those not responding the way you hoped they would? My aim is for you to consider the motives and methods you employ when motivating someone to change. If we do not have a proper motive, it will affect our methods, even tempting us to demand or manipulate someone to change while never considering how out of tune we are with God and the narrative He is writing for the unchanging person.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/forcing-others-to-change-will-blow-up-your-relationship-with-them/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Sometimes, when people hear the term biblical counseling, they think about a two-tier system within Christianity: those who can counsel and those who cannot. When I talk to some Christians about biblical counseling, they step back mentally while disqualifying themselves by saying, “I can’t do that.” For them, biblical counseling connotes a two-tier structure of competency or something for professionals. This problem, among a few other liabilities with the biblical counseling movement makes it wise to change our thinking about how we do soul care.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/a-better-way-to-do-counseling/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – How are we to think about parental discipline? Should we spank our children? What if we had a bad experience with our parents; how are we to respond to our children? What does the Bible say about correction, obedience, and the purposes of child discipline? This episode answers all those questions plus many more, giving you a solid foundation and direction on this vital topic.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-40-twelve-things-know-spanking-parental-discipline/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
In any discipleship situation, the discipler’s theology must inform their discipleship process. Theology and application act as guardrails to keep the counseling process moving in the right direction while avoiding the inevitable hazards that inferior theology and deficient applications cause. Maintaining this type of counseling equilibrium has several benefits, such as keeping the discipler from losing hope or even sinning while caring for others. The Bible provides us with an case study to make this point.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-problem-with-expecting-someone-to-change-1-0/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Every person who comes to you does not always fully invest themselves in being free from their problems. I’m not suggesting they are insincere. I’m speaking to the complexity of some issues and the accompanying heart entanglements that have become part of a person’s life for so long that the habituation’s strength is more powerful than the motivation to change. Just because they share their trouble with you does not mean they will put in the effort to change. The unchanging person is a common occurrence, and the reasons for it are worth our consideration.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/seven-reasons-a-person-will-not-change-2/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – I sat down with Mark Grant to discuss his experience as he went through our Mastermind training program. Mark was our first student and graduate of our training. He later became one of our supervisors, teaching our students. Mark finished the coursework in fifteen months, which was the quickest anyone had completed the course. Most of our students finish within 24 and 36 months. I hope you benefit as he shares his training experience, what God did in him, and what life has been like since.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-32-mark-grants-experience-training-program/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Your friend comes to you with a secret sin. You are his accountability partner, and he asks you to keep his sin secret. How would you respond to him? Is it okay to pledge confidentiality or have an expectation of it? Does confidentiality have value in the context of confession? Are there instances where we should tell others about a transgression, even if the guilty party is against it? What biblical principles should guide us regarding secrets, secret keeping, sharing, and biblical communication?Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/should-i-keep-my-friends-sin-secret/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Each local church has visitors, regular attendees, non-engaged members, and engaged members. In many of these churches, the visitors, attendees, and non-engaged members are more numerous than those doing the ministry's work. When this happens, the church's infrastructure—leaders—is weaker than those who expect care from the church. You'll also find that those who expect more care complain more. Thus, each church has to wrestle with how to identify and develop more engaged members by identifying the consumers and moving them into the smaller leadership infrastructure sphere.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-29-makes-equipping-different-effective/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Did you know it’s possible to know God but still have a hard heart? Though we have many means of grace, like prayer, the Bible, our local churches, and each other, Christians are not impervious to the infiltration of sin or its dastardly effects. It only takes a little evil to create havoc in our souls. Knowing and experiencing God does not prevent us from moving down the path to hard-heartedness, making it critical to understand how to diagnose the sequence that leads to a hard heart.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/diagnosing-the-four-steps-to-a-hard-heart/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
God did not create all friends equally. You have some friends you want in your inner circle because they are biblically mature and reciprocating. Perhaps there are others that you must keep at arm's length because they are tedious and require more work to maintain. This second group is unidirectional friends—acquaintances who cannot speak into your life, making it a one-way street: you always serve them. If you have a challenging friend, here are seven considerations.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/seven-considerations-for-challenging-friends/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – I had the sex talk with our son when he was 12. I took him to the beach for a few days to discuss the most intimate relational dynamic between a man and a woman. One of our Mastermind students asked if I would share a few details about how I went about it, similar to Lucia’s talk with our daughters. What we did is only one way to have this vital talk, and I trust these ideas and perspectives will serve you, particularly if you’re planning to speak with your children.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/recently-sex-talk-son/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Job’s wild ride through the crucible of suffering was coming to an end. The devil was nearing defeat, the Lord was receiving glory, and Job was changing. I knew the first two things would happen: Satan would lose, and God would win. What I did not expect was all the Lord wanted to do with my friend, Job. I did not even know he had a problem. He seemed to be a good man, going about doing good (Job 1:1, 5). After Satan turned his world upside down, he refused to sin or charge the Lord with any wrong (Job 1:22). I suppose I did not understand how to discern a person’s faith.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/you-know-your-faith-is-really-real-when-you-can-do-this/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – A friend approached me, asking how to help his church because they have a weak view of biblical counseling. He is a lone voice with an effective biblical model for sanctification through discipleship. He wants to motivate his leaders but knows they prefer an integrated worldview and practice. It’s not that they have thought about it but have been affected by a psychologized zeitgeist. He asked me how I would address the issues if it were my church. What about you? Perhaps you love a purer form of discipleship, but you have friends who are unfamiliar with what that means or they are against biblical counseling. I trust these thoughts will encourage and help you, too.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-30-shouldnt-make-big-deal-biblical-counseling/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
When things do not go according to our plans, and the losses keep mounting, it’s only a short step from walking away from God and the caring friends who are willing to persevere with us and our suffering. It is possible to get to that place of giving up, a perspective that buys into the belief that things won’t change to a more favorable outcome. It’s a tension between humans and the Divine when God does not act as we think He should. Though we know how this tug-o-war will end, it does not alter the tension, or the temptation to quit.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-can-i-trust-god-when-he-does-not-act-the-way-i-think-he-should/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Does anyone love God because of who He is, or do we love Him for what we can receive from Him? I’m not implying it’s wrong to want things from the Lord because we should desire things from Him, like His salvation. However, there is a priority with all relationships. Do we enter friendships for what we can get out of them, or are we primarily interested in being with and serving that friend? Pertaining to God, it’s vital to examine the quality of our faith, always making our relationship with Him transcendent over self-interest while enjoying the beauty of knowing God for who He is.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/three-keys-to-help-you-look-beyond-your-suffering/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – A friend asked on our private forums whether you can tell if someone has changed. Of course, you cannot know in the ultimate sense—not at the heart level. I told my friend it would be unwise to focus on whether a person has changed since you cannot know for sure. Biblical counselors make this mistake too often, even at times releasing a person from counseling when they can never honestly know if they have changed. Alternately, it would be better to focus on better things while laying out better expectations and plans for those you're discipling.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-454-the-risky-business-of-looking-for-change-in-someone/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
We have two possible responses to our problems. We can be problem-centered or God-centered. That’s it. The first reaction leads to anxious complaining and fear-motivated comments. Been there, done that. The second response is the path to peace, even while we are suffering. It’s hard to tell how mature we are until the suffering comes, so it’s wise to pay close attention to our thoughts and words when difficult times arrive. Perhaps the suffering will necessitate the Lord to take action, like whittling us down to proper size so that He can build us back up into vessels for His use.https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-blessing-of-being-whittled-down-to-size-2/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Sometimes, God can seem distant and possibly disinterested in what is happening in our lives. The silence of God is deafening as we seek answers when life takes a turn for the worse. We feel all alone on the ground level, a painful loneliness that turns our hearts upward. We are muttering and sputtering through life while God is off fighting battles that seem more important to Him than tending to our business. We want an audience with the King. We need to hear what He has to say about our problems. Or do we? Are we really prepared for what He has to say?Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/do-you-really-want-to-know-what-god-is-thinking-2/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Since Adam and Eve fell in the Garden of Eden, there have been injustices. It’s vital to recognize we live in a fallen world, not a utopian one. It is similar to getting married, thinking it will be happily ever after without defeats, setbacks, or injustices. Setting up an unreachable standard is a setup for disappointment, leading to responses that can never hit that high mark, only making things worse. Some folks can have a misguided idealism. But rather than focusing primarily on them, it would be more appropriate for us to ponder how to respond to a culture caught in the injustice trap.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-38-speaking-injustices-culture/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
What the world, flesh, and the devil mean for evil, the Lord God Almighty intends for our good, creating a unique place where good and evil intersect to do battle in a Christian’s life. That spot is our crucible of suffering. While in it, confusion mounts, tempting us to take actions we would not take during ordinary times, but even in those moments, God is with us, always persevering for our good. As you reflect upon the most painful times of your life, haven’t you seen how the Lord sustained and cared for you?Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/ever-tried-manipulative-praying/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Silence does not have to be a bad thing, even the silence of God. Quick to listen and slow to speak is biblical, according to James. The gifts of reflection and pondering seem lost in our impulsive, ready, fire, aim culture. There are times when silence is wisdom. Have you considered the deliberateness of God? During the Lord’s quietness, He can communicate some of the most profound truths if you’re willing to listen. Whether speaking or not, we must trust the Lord’s wisdom because life does not function formulaically—a speaking God is good, but a quiet God is not.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-importance-and-benefit-of-god-being-silent/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Shows Main Idea – Spending time on social media does much harm to our lives and relationships. You can easily find 1000 studies to support this claim, and it matters not where you land on the political spectrum. We are addicted to social media because it feeds our deepest cravings, similar to any addictive behavior. The difference is how we have rationalized this addiction through our collective participation. For the courageous soul, I appeal to you to consider these five reasons to curb or get off social media.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-451-five-reasons-to-curb-or-get-off-social-media/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Let’s Start Here: Are you problem-centered or God-centered? A quick way to analyze my question is by assessing your most common responses to the problems the Lord brings to your life. All things, big and small, provide the contexts for us to examine the strengths and weaknesses of our walk with God. There is nothing like heat to draw out impurities or solidify the good things we want to preserve. When trouble comes, it will tell you quickly the depth and hold your faith has on you, whether we’re talking about minor traffic inconveniences or Job-level devastation.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/seven-step-template-for-personal-change-when-trouble-comes/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Letting God be God is one of our greatest fears. When the circumstances are the most adverse, the temptation will be the strongest to bring God down to our level so we can argue with Him. This instinct is not unusual; we do it with folks who need a piece of our mind. To be angry at someone requires elevating yourself above them to let them have it, and it matters not if the object of our frustration is human or the Divine. The fearful, angry soul is not far from this kind of exalted arrogance when things become unmanageable. I was that arrogant soul.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/i-brought-god-down-to-my-level-so-i-could-argue-with-him/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
What would you rather have if you only had one choice: a change of circumstances or a change of mind about your circumstances? My question is critical and ties directly to the quality of life you will experience with God and others, especially when things go badly for you. I suspect most of us would prefer a change of circumstances over a change of mind about our circumstances. I would. When disappointment comes, I usually look for the exits and go into flight mode. How fast can I get to higher ground? Our self-preservation instincts are normal but not always wise when a higher aim from a divine orchestrator may be working a superior plan.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-unparalleled-benefit-of-living-in-an-unchangeable-situation/Will you help us to continue providing free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Shows Main Idea – It sounds odd to title this podcast episode with a plea to stop caring so much, so let me explain. One of the side effects of chronic, debilitating sickness among caring friends is unsolicited advice from folks who love you. Yes, there is a tension here: you want them to care for you, but there can be an unwitting burden attached to their advice as they suggest the latest cure or Google research.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/motivate-christians-stop-caring-much/Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.
Everyone knows God comes through for us when we get what we want. Did you know He comes through for us when He gives things we do not want or appreciate? What did the Lord do for you that you did not understand at the time but see His wisdom in providing that thing now? This truth troubles our souls and challenges our perspective about the Lord. Like a loving parent, the Lord knows what is best, and sometimes He makes decisions that do not appear to be for us. As the child matures, he returns home to tell the parent how he sees the benefit of the hard thing the parent did for him when he was less mature.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/when-god-does-not-come-through-and-you-do-not-get-what-you-want/Will you help us to continue providing free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
God operates with unexpected purposes that come in unsuspecting moments. He does this because He can observe our lives from an eternal perspective as he stands outside time. His creatures have a limited field of vision that is no wider than what we can see in front of us. Indeed, we can reflect on what has happened and guess what may happen, but we only have today's fleeting moments as we subjectively anticipate our next moves. Because God operates on a different plane, there is always an other-worldly purpose behind His decisions, making it vital to discern His goals for us.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/just-when-you-thought-things-were-going-well-the-other-foot-falls/Will you help us to continue providing free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
The crucible of suffering reveals our most authentic thoughts about God and others. Sometimes the Lord puts us in that crucible, even while we are doing good things for Him and others, to prove our genuine faith. Job was a man like this. Say what you want about him, but he was a good guy. He was a terrific guy who loved God with all his heart, soul, mind, and strength (Matthew 22:37), but his world fell apart while doing good. Let’s stroll through the first chapter of his book to learn about his genuine faith and horrific trial.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/blindsided-while-doing-good/Will you help us to continue providing free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Shows Main Idea – There have been many liabilities of the biblical counseling movement because of the proliferation of training and naming average disciple-makers certified biblical counselors. One of those liabilities is creating crutches to offset the counselor’s inability to counsel competently. Examples are books with lists of topics and accompanying verses so the counselor can have a quick reference guide to give a struggling soul a verse.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-448-the-insufficient-method-of-giving-verses-to-counselees/Will you help us to continue providing free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
The pressures of life expose our strengths and weaknesses. It happens when things outside our control go awry; we either rally our souls under the Spirit's power or we come apart at the seams. The suffering is the test. In those moments of unexpected challenges, we reveal our functional view of God. Our unwelcome challenges become diagnostics that reveal any abiding spiritual deficiencies. Though nobody seeks suffering, we mustn't miss its purpose when it happens because we want to understand God and His grander purposes in our trouble. He wants to teach us critical aspects of the Christian life that will fortify us today while preparing us to help those fellow strugglers that He brings into our paths.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/three-essential-things-to-know-when-life-does-not-make-sense/Will you help us to continue providing free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
The suffering God took me through was my most significant disappointment after becoming a Christian. My “prior to becoming a Christian thought” was that this new religion would be an enjoyable experience because suffering would not be part of it. I was ignorant. Christianity and suffering are so close together that they could be synonyms. It’s our suffering that becomes the primary context where God produces the most abundant fruit in our lives. Though it’s counterintuitive to the natural man’s thinking, suffering is the perfect place to find God’s power working through our weaknesses.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/four-things-you-must-know-when-it-comes-to-personal-suffering/Will you help us to continue providing free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Shows Main Idea – What are some of the core elements that help to have a vibrant small group life? Is it best to have mixed small groups or gender-specific small groups? What are a few other things that make up a small group experience to help folks genuinely pursue each other with truth and love for each other's sanctification? This episode delves into small group life, answering this lady's question, plus aiding leaders and members to serve each other effectively.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/dynamic-small-group-experience/Will you help us to continue providing free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
We can agree that personal suffering is the one thing we fear the most. Who wants to suffer? Think with me for a minute. Certain things come to mind that tempts us to fear. Maybe you don’t spend much time thinking about your fears. Good for you. Fixating on fear is not the way to spend our time or minimize soul noise. But if you do think about your fears, even for a moment, you may pinpoint at least one recurring worry. We all have them. There is a reason the oft-repeated theme of “fear not” pops up throughout God’s Word. Adamic people churn inside a fear-guilt-shame complex, and though Christ is our great Conqueror, our former manner of life continues to seek to captivate our minds.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-to-steward-gods-most-feared-blessing-2/Will you help us to continue providing free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
On April 8, 1988, it all went wrong. I would later call that day the “beginning of woes.” I walked into our home shortly past 5 o’clock, and after a full day at work, and noticed the missing piano in our living room. I immediately knew what Had happened. My wife of nine years decided she had enough: it was time to leave. A simple note was left on the kitchen table. It read, “You’re right; we can’t go on like this. I’ll call you later.” I had shared those sentiments about a marriage impasse a few weeks earlier, not knowing how it would haunt me for years to come.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-preface-to-my-book-suffering-well/Will you help us to continue providing free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Shows Main Idea – A church member sent me an email because they are struggling with what she called a “lack of community” in her local church. She is one in a long list of emailers talking about this problem, and while there are several angles to a local church’s lack of community, I’m only dealing with one in this episode: the church’s leaders. This episode will be dicey, but I want to carefully navigate through it because a church’s leadership is the most critical aspect of all when talking about the spiritual condition of its members.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/church-community-well-im-struggling/Will you help us to continue providing free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
How many ways does the Lord have available for Himself to help us mature into Christlikeness? Most folks would say the Bible, prayer, church, and close friends. They are correct. Those essential means of grace are for growing us up into Christlikeness. Here’s another. Consider that the Lord would permit sin in your life to rattle your cage for Jesus. What do you think about the redemptive purposes of sin, as opposed to the non-redemptive goals of evil? Mable struggled with this concept.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-to-think-about-a-god-who-permits-sin-in-your-life/Will you help us to continue providing free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Grumbling is a minor sin, but like tiny breadcrumbs leading you somewhere, the complaining person shows you the practical condition of their heart. The grumbler might not perceive what their words are saying about them or their need for a gospel recalibration, but you must know this to help them. My friend, Biff, is one of those undiscerning complainers. Perhaps this case study will provide insight into how to care for him or any other person with a grumbling, complaining spirit.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/what-to-do-when-your-suffering-reaches-the-limits-of-your-ability-to-endure/Will you help us to continue providing free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Shows Main Idea – Anton Krecic started Seven Weeks Coffee Company because he saw a need that nobody was fulfilling. He merged his love for coffee with a passion for the pro-life movement. Seven weeks is typical when a mother hears her child's heartbeat. The child is the size of a coffee bean. Seven Weeks Coffee gives 10% of its sales to pro-life centers around the country. Listen to Anton describe his passion and what God is doing with it.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-445-interview-with-anton-krecic-with-seven-weeks-coffee/Will you help us to continue providing free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Working through pain is part of the human experience. Problems come and go as sparks fire fly upward. Trouble and trials began with the fall of humanity, and they will not go away until Christ comes to rescue us. The great news is that we can solve our problems, assuming we start at the right place. Did you know there is a unique first step to solving your concerns and that it flows out of your worldview? Here’s the key idea: How you begin problem-solving will determine how things end for you.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-first-and-unique-step-to-solve-your-problems/Will you help us to continue providing free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
When the only opinion in the room that matters to you is the Lord’s, you’re as free as you can be. If you’re like this, you are like Jesus, a man who was not under the management of anyone else. Nobody could manipulate Him because the only perspective that mattered was His Father’s. As Christ-followers, our goal is to be just like Jesus. His example reduces soul noise and permits us to live confidently in God’s world. Sadly, too many people are under the spell of others because they crave their acceptance or, perhaps, they fear their rejection. I trust the resources that you find here will be the first steps to breaking the fear of man bondage that controls too many of us.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/a-practical-plan-to-break-free-from-being-controlled-by-peoples-opinions/Will you help us to continue providing free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Shows Main Idea – “How do you answer a friend who is not a Christian but searching when she asks why God let my baby die? The grief is seemingly insurmountable, and not having a relationship with God adds a layer of complexity. I’m unsure what to say to her other than to be a friend. What would you say to her? What advice do you have for me?” This question is one of the most difficult ones to answer, but we know God’s Word has an answer, and I want to share with you five things to help this distraught lady.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/why-did-god-let-my-baby-die/Will you help us to continue providing free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
To say that God is all you need reduces your life to a “you and God in a silo,” which might sound nice if you’re prone to spiritualize everything while not factoring in reality. Spiritualized sloganeering typically fails the eye test in real-world dynamics. For example, you must have friends if your aim is to live out the grander purposes of the gospel. I’m not speaking of needing friends in an inverted “what can you do for me” way, but a worldview of friendship that minimizes loneliness as a side-effect of other-centered initiatives. Thus, the question we want to explore is, “What are the objectives of friendships?”Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/i-want-more-than-god-is-it-wrong-to-want-someone-to-love-me/Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
The most crucial relationship in your life is God. The most practical way to experience Him is in a community of like-minded believers who are intentional about helping each other mature in their relationships with Him. To know God better means your primary relationships should provide you with contexts to deepen your experience with Him (1 Corinthians 10:31). If your essential relationships do not give you that kind of care, you should consider changing your closest network of friends (Matthew 5:30; Hebrews 12:1). Knowing the Lord and experiencing Him with friends is the relational sweet spot for Christians.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-to-build-and-enjoy-dynamic-community-life/Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Shows Main Idea – A reader asked, "How do you deal with people who claim to be Christians, yet they are brutally invasive with their tactics by forcing religion down someone's throat and condemning the other person based on their past experiences and choices? There is only one way for secondary preferences in their view, and this person is the sole arbiter of what is right and wrong. Let me give you an example of what I'm saying."Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/respond-unkind-christian-unkind-others/Will you help us to continue providing free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
To fully release your vulnerable and intimate soul to another person, you must know the individual is trustworthy and will lovingly steward all of your inner truth. This quality in a marriage is one of a husband’s most critical leadership requirements as he leads his wife in proper communication habits. We build our most vital and profound relationships upon trust, which is why we love God so much. Trust is why we share with Him our deepest and darkest thoughts; we know He will never condemn us (Romans 8:1). God provides a template for us to follow to break down communication barriers to enjoy the riches of intimate communication.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/leading-your-wife-in-intimate-conversations-part-two/Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
A lady wrote, asking me how to help her and her husband. He recently left for another woman, and she's in desperate straits, not knowing what to do about it or what her role should be in restoring their marriage. She's hurting but is maturing while in her desperate crucible. I gave her eight things to think about, and though I am dealing with a husband who left a wife for another woman, you can change the genders, and the content will apply to the husband who has lost his wife.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/spouse-left-someone-else/Will you help us to continue providing free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
We are relational beings because God created us in His image (Genesis 1:26). God, who has always belonged to a Trinitarian community, made us in such a way that we desire to belong to a reciprocal community (Genesis 2:18). Made in the image of God means, in part, that you have similarities to God (James 3:9). One of the most intrinsic qualities that the Lord put into us is a desire to commune with others—those who are like us. The challenge, of course, is securing those trusted relationships where we can talk about the deeper and more meaningful things of life. There is a path forward.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-most-perfect-relationship-you-can-have-with-another-person/Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
What is the most trustworthy indicator of a person who has authentically changed? How can you know—as much as one can understand objective, practical transformation? “He said he changed but did he?” Many folks have asked this question, and thankfully, Paul gives us our answers. But first, let me tell you a story. You know who they are: our friends, Biff and Mable, the couple who represent the best and worst of us. They make an excellent case study to help us understand authentic change in a person’s life.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/five-helpful-marks-to-see-if-someone-has-changed/Will you help us to continue providing free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Shows Main Idea – A reader asked, "When a leader falls, the church bags him up and throws him out. Can you comment on how to respond to a fallen Christian leader?" I assume there is hyperbole in the question to make a point because some churches are outstanding in how they care for those leaders captured by sin. However, the question is valid, and I will explore this essential issue that could come to any local church.Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/respond-fallen-christian-leader/Will you help us to continue providing free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
When most folks think about giving, they automatically default to money. It makes sense because money is vital to living well in God’s world. But if money is the only thing we think about regarding giving, we will miss out on some of the most incredible life experiences we could have. God is calling all believers to a level of generosity that touches every sphere of our lives, not just our finances. When we get to this generous place with our walk with the Lord, we are about as Christlike as we can become.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/when-you-give-more-than-money-youre-more-like-christ/Will you help us to continue providing free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
God’s salvation is a gift that we must steward, though managing His salvation does not imply we can lose it, an impossible feat. But we must share it with others. Suppose we do not steward God’s salvation by extending His gift to others. Who knows, God might go to extraordinary lengths to get our attention to motivate us to think differently about the gift. Jonah was one of God’s children who refused to steward salvation well, and the Lord did go to terrible lengths to turn Jonah in the right direction.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-terrible-lengths-god-will-go-to-for-your-good/Will you help us to continue providing free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Shows Main Idea – Sometimes, a person does not want to receive counseling because they are afraid to share their story. The complexity of shame, guilt, and fear incarcerate them. Though they know you can’t help them without knowing the truth about their lives, the inhibition effect is forbidding and captivating. To counsel well means you must know and do specific things, so how do you build that trust, so a person opens up to you?Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/counsel-person-believes-story-awful-share/Will you help us to continue providing free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
How do you help a teen with a porn problem? This podcast discusses the issue with porn and how to help anyone struggling with addiction. One of our members asked a specific question, "I've had the opportunity lately to counsel a teenage boy struggling with pornography. He is aware of the inappropriate, sinful nature of this and has displayed some guilt and remorse. The parents want to be involved in helping him through this. The dad is a stepdad."Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/help-teen-porn-problem/Will you help us to continue providing free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Merry Christmas, everyone. The holiday season is the best time of the year, especially when our focus is Christ as we celebrate His birth and what it means to us. The Christmas season is a snapshot of what our ministry is about, sharing the practical message of Christ globally.Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/we-are-less-than-four-feet-from-6-64-billion-hearts/Will you help us to continue providing free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
On the radio today, a well-known pastor says that Christians should not describe themselves as "sinners saved by grace" but "saints who occasionally sin." If we define ourselves as the first, he says, "What a dangerous, miserable way to live." As Christians, how much focus should there be on the reality of daily sin versus the spiritual reality of our identification with Christ and His holiness dwelling within us? What does this practically look like in daily living?" – Supporting Member
Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/am-i-a-sinner-saint-or-both/
Will you help us to continue providing free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Shows Main Idea – What is the relationship between mental illness and suicide? Is that the best way to ask my question? If not, how would you frame the problem of a person who commits suicide? What does the Bible say? I deal with many desperate people who are Christian and non-Christian, and the normalization of suicide over the past few years has created not just an interest in self-harm but an acceptable solution to commit suicide. What are your thoughts? – Supporting Member
Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/biblical-perspective-mental-illness-suicide/
Will you help us to continue providing free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
There are two large groups of people in America today. They are the winners and the losers. The happy and the sad. The glad and the mad. The hopeful and the fearful. Which one are you on this morning (week) after an American election? What does the state of your heart reveal about your faith? Regardless of our camp, there is probably work to do in our hearts. For the victorious, the temptation is smugness and high-fives that looks down on the losers. For the losers, the temptation could be despair and anger. The election is the heat in our lives that reveals the pre-existing condition of our hearts.
Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/assessing-my-heart-the-morning-after-an-american-election/
Will you help us to continue providing free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Shows Main Idea – If a person in your church lives a sinful lifestyle and is a leader, how should I respond to that person? Should I sit under their teaching and leadership? Should I separate from sinners in the church? A lady asked, “I know I am to engage sinners for redemptive purposes because that is what Christ did to me. I don’t want to separate from them but influence them with the gospel. But what about the ongoing sinfulness of someone in your church?”
Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/separate-sinful-people-church/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
One of the problems with some marriages is a lack of respect from the wife for the husband. A proper probing question follows: what does that mean? Is her lack of respect the entire problem in the marriage, or are other complexities that might contribute to her lack of respect? There are always complexities in relational conflict, but why do some folks focus only on a lack of respect in situations like this? It appears they are extracting Paul’s words about respecting the husband and missing the context. What if we take a look at the context and content of this pivotal passage about marriage?
Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/wife-respect-unkind-husband/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Shows Main Idea – “I’m thinking of a person who is not concerned with the kingdom of God and is more concerned with a kingdom of self, especially a person who does not have a gospel-centered motive. They have a lot of pride and are not easy to teach. They want a certain way and do not consider God’s will. How do you counsel a self-righteous person?” – Doug
Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/counsel-self-righteous-person/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Boys and girls are different. You cannot say that aloud or the culture will cancel you. But it’s true, and when it comes to the act of love in reciprocal relationships, the different ways they respond to each other are fully displayed. God made Adam a unique male and Eve a unique female. This news is not new for the believer. However, knowing these differences is vital, especially when a boy meets a girl. Understanding how the genders react to love provides wisdom while potentially saving a couple from much disappointment.
Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/a-girl-kissing-a-boy-is-different-than-a-boy-kissing-a-girl/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Being reproved or rebuked is tough stuff. Nobody enjoys it. I don't! When someone comes along pointing out a flaw in your life, it's typically a tense moment because it cuts against the grain of our Adamic hearts. To be willing to have others speak into your life is one of the high marks of Christian maturity, making it a great time to ask a few tough questions to examine our Christian maturity.
Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/six-tough-questions-that-examine-your-christian-maturity/
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As we head into the holidays, this is the most mission-critical season of the year, and we ask the Father to provide our financial needs for the proceeding year, 2023.
Thankfully, a donor has stepped up, saying they will give us $50K if one, two, or more folks do similarly. I shared this news with our supporting community, and several have committed to praying and fasting during this vital season. Will you pray about this fantastic opportunity?
For those who cannot donate at that level, will you give what you believe the Lord wants you to give? The majority of our finances come in during this season. I'm asking God to move many hearts, and I'd love for you to join our community and me as we petition the Father.
You may donate here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Shows Main Idea – Just curious if you might flesh out the differences between capacity versus character issues. I assume we would expect a response to God’s truth in whatever capacity someone could respond. I wonder what you think about a person unable to process truth because of diminished soul issues; thus, their behaviors reflect those compromised soul issues. It would help me understand this problem a bit better.
Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/respond-people-different-character-capacity-issues/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Did you know God puts you in spots where He expects you to fail? This perspective might sound harsher than it is at first glance. But what if God could use your sins, mistakes, shortcomings, and weaknesses for your good and His glory? Have you ever considered how your disappointments and discouragements could provide the backdrop for the Lord to demonstrate His power and goodness through your inabilities and missteps? It’s true. God’s strength coming through our weakness is just one of the many ways He proves His love to us.
Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/when-you-are-beyond-your-ability-god-has-you-right-where-he-wants-you-2/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Did you know that the rearing of the Millennial and Gen-Z cultures differs from the rest of us? Newsflash: It's true! The "moral lines" were more straightforward for you and me: sin was a sin, and it was evident most anyone. Regrettably, the culture and media have bombarded the last two generations with an "acceptance message" that embraces a "to each his own" worldview, so what is obvious to you, as clearly taught from the Bible, is questioned by the current generation. The abnormal is normal, which is why you need to know it's "okay" to be gay, a new message from our deteriorated culture.
Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/okay-gay-need-know/
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One of the most difficult challenges prohibiting a person from actively engaging and completing our Mastermind Program is procrastination. Because this struggle is a “common to man problem,” it is one of our most common questions. In this episode, I will answer this question fully, provide advice for a path forward, while offering a few other tips for your consideration if you’re looking for world-class training in all things discipleship—our Mastermind Program.
Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/can-procrastinator-un-disciplined-person-program/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Have you ever wondered what happens to a person who exchanges the truth of God for a lie? Perhaps you know someone who has made this troubling exchange. They were once walking in the truth of God’s Word, but now they have created a new reality—their truth, which conflicts with God’s truth, placing the “exchanger” in the unenviable position of going to war with God. Paul talked about such a person in Romans 1:21-25. Let me share with you what happens to such a person.
Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/mind-person-exchanges-the-truth-of-god-for-a-lie/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Shows Main Idea: If you want a persevering relationship with someone, having the proper aim is vital. As you think about your most significant relationship, what is the singular secret to making it last with joy and fulfillment? In this episode, I want to share with you the secret to having a great marriage that lasts. You may apply this essential tip to any vital relationship you want to endure. Learn the secret and the process of building a relationship that lasts.
Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/secret-great-marriage-lasts/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
Have you ever been alone? I’m speaking of the worst kind of loneliness, not your run-of-the-mill loneliness. It’s a sting that penetrates the depths of a person’s soul. This peculiar kind of isolation is different from being by yourself, as though hanging with someone will solve this problem. I’m talking about a type of loneliness that isolates you even in a crowd. You know you’re in a bad spot when living in community with others cannot satisfy the pain of loneliness; it has penetrated to the point of feeling it.
Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/when-god-is-not-with-me-3/
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“He was nothing like this when we were dating. He would send me little notes, hold the car door open, and be thoughtful about almost everything. I’m not sure I exist in his world, except when he wants sex. I seem not to matter anymore. He is not the man I married. Are you saying that dating and marriage are different realities? What I thought I was getting, but what I got are two different people. What’s the point of dating? How can we fix our marriage?”
Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/dating-the-artificial-season-that-doesnt-count/
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Shows Main Idea – A supporter asked how best to describe our journey with Christ. He wanted to know the best label to describe the Christian experience? He added, “Some folks hold to a more rule-based lifestyle, called legalism. Others like to call themselves grace-centered. Where does gospel-centered fit with these terms?” If these are only three terms we have to choose, I would call myself a gospel-centered person.
Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-431-why-gospel-centered-is-better-than-grace-centered-and-legalism/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/
The litmus test for a mature Christian leader is their ability to replicate themselves into someone else. If a leader does not copy himself into another person, the Christian mission stops—at least in that Christian’s immediate sphere of influence. A Christian leader is always thinking about how to export his Christ-life to another individual so that person can be Christlike to others. Though we are different in how we accomplish these things, we have the same call: go and make disciples.
Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/what-is-the-litmus-test-for-a-leader-and-are-you-one/
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What does your pastor think about when he thinks about you? Does that question sound strange to you? Perhaps you belong to a larger church where your pastor does not know you. Okay. But there is a leader at your church who does know you. What does that person think about when he thinks about you? My question is similar to what goes through your mind when you think about a special person in your life, perhaps a child. What I want to know is whether you are a joy to your pastor, a great, soul-searching query.
Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/dear-pastor-do-you-groan-when-you-think-of-me/
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Shows Main Idea – Someone asked about separating from sinners. His concern was about the tension and confusion that comes with associating with those who reject Christ, attending their events, or what other Christians think about some of his worldly associations. Because the culture is becoming darker and darker, it is harder and harder to see where to draw the lines of separation today. Thus, the question is should we separate from sinners? What do you think?
Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-430-should-christians-separate-from-sinners/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/
Paul told us husbands to nourish and cherish our wives. It's stunning when you realize how much unfolds from these two words. Did you know if we understand and practice them correctly in our marriages, the benefit for us and our wives is invaluable, including the impact the marriage would have on our children? So, what does it mean to nourish and cherish your wife? How about if you buckle up and let's go for a ride as we discover the practical responsibility and opportunity in this aspect of the art of husbandry?
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/what-does-it-mean-to-nourish-and-cherish-your-wife/
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This prayer is the primary one that teaches me how to walk in the Spirit. The Lord has used this prayer more than any other to keep me focused and directed. I pray some version of this prayer several times throughout my day, though not in a rote fashion, sometimes extracting parts of it depending on the situation. I hope it encourages you. I’ve listed more than sixty scriptures if you want to do a more in-depth study. Also, I placed numbers beside each section to assist you as you discuss parts of it with friends.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/a-short-prayer-to-help-you-walk-in-the-spirit/
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Shows Main Idea – I would love for you to do a video on how we, as Christian adults, can deal with our aging parents when they let us down and commit egregious sins. My husband and I have a parent who just left another wife for no reason other than he was tired of being married to her. We're having a hard time, primarily because we have lost all respect for his dad. We have always thought he was a believer, but he quit going to church and shows no remorse for abandoning his wife.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-429-when-aging-parents-no-longer-walk-with-god/
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God gave everyone an internal moral thermostat, the conscience. The word means "con-science" in the Latin or "co-knowledge. It is one of the means of grace that teaches us how to change. Along with the Spirit of God, the Word of God, and the people of God, our consciences assist us in the transformation process. Of course, a miscalibrated conscience will not do this, choosing instead to be our worst enemy. So I want to discuss this essential responsibility of training the conscience.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/do-you-know-how-to-train-your-inner-voice/
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The preaching of God’s Word is essential for life transformation but preaching alone is not enough to change lives and families. A transformational church is both a preaching center and a discipleship community. A preaching center and discipleship community work in tandem from the pulpit to the living room. With sound, theological wisdom flowing from the pulpit, the church is in position to disseminate and distill the preached word in applicable and practical ways throughout the week so the church member can experience transformation.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/is-your-church-a-preaching-center-or-a-discipleship-community/
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Shows Main Idea – There are times when our behaviors do not align with God’s Word. There are several reasons for this. James suggested a person could be double-minded. Jesus talked about hypocrisy in Matthew 23. Truthfully, all of us have sinned as Christians. For some, it’s an intentional habit, which makes one wonder if they are a Christian. For others, it’s a life-long struggle with patterns that they fight fiercely. Thus, answering the question, how can a Christian sin like that has a complexity worth our time exploring.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/can-person-sin-like-still-christian-2/
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When you think about the characteristics of a good leader, what comes to your mind? I suspect many of us would think about a pastor of a church or a boss in the workplace or perhaps a husband or father. Those roles would be worth your consideration since they are all impactful leadership roles where a person’s demeanor, attitudes, words, and actions can shape those under them for the rest of their lives. But what about other leaders who don’t immediately come to mind? What about you? You’re a leader, too. What three leadership characteristics describe you?
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/three-characteristics-wonderful-leader/
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One of the most challenging situations with any counselor or counseling ministry is placing counselees in a long-term “sanctification context” in their local churches where they may receive ongoing, life-long care from competent disciple-makers. At best, formalized biblical counseling is a fleeting season in a struggling person’s life, whether it happens outside or inside the church. To maximize the fullest potential of soul care possibilities, all Christians must embed themselves in local church disciple-making communities to receive lifelong help.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/a-proactive-plan-for-pastors-to-help-people-to-care-for-people/
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Shows Main Idea – The process of a hard heart begins when we want something so much that the desire for that thing starts to manage our minds. It’s not that the desire is evil, but it controls us so much that we lose sight of the God-centered, God-managed life. Even good desires can send us down the wrong path. If we don’t change our thoughts about the things we want, the end of this process leads to a hard heart, as Rick explains.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-427-the-ten-step-process-to-a-hard-heart/
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One of the kindest things we can do is introduce a biblical sin plan to our families so they can enjoy the full benefits of the gospel. If we do this, we will begin to release an entire generation of people who will sin but quickly remove it, eliminating the lingering effects of sin which so many of us had experienced from those who had gone before us as they tried to hide the obvious in plain sight while effecting us generationally. We will sin before our families and friends, so let’s demonstrate what we are supposed to do about it. Let them see how we may be ashamed of our sins, but we are not ashamed of the gospel.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/the-wisdom-of-introducing-sin-to-our-families/
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When I was a single man during the 90s, I worked a third shift, dead-end job at a glue factory. There were about thirty employees, three of whom were practicing lesbians. I was grateful to have the job, but it was a difficult place to work for many reasons. Two of them had no interest in me, but one did, so I asked her out on several dates. She accepted.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/i-dated-a-lesbian-2/
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Shows Main Idea – In the last three episodes, I talked about the danger of the biblical counseling movement passing its prime. I also brought a few practical solutions that could help change current course positively. (Those podcasts stirred a lot of conversation in the biblical counseling world.) One of the reasons I mentioned this possibility is that there has been a lack of innovation in the movement over the past two decades. In this episode, I will share with you one way we can innovate by maturing in our understanding and practice of listening in counseling contexts.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-426-the-four-types-of-transformative-listening/
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A lesbian walked into my counseling office looking for help. She had grown weary of her lifestyle, had a remote association with God, and thought maybe He was in her problems somehow, some way, and she needed help sorting things out. It’s a great story, and I trust my retelling of it will be an encouragement to anyone with children or friends who have walked away from the Lord. There is hope. There is no life or any sin that is outside God’s grace to redeem. Here’s what happened.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/a-lesbian-walked-into-my-office-ready-for-help/
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There are two objective positives from being part of a group. One is that you all believe the same things. It’s the upside to “groupthink.” Not necessarily bad. The second is a psychological positive of feeling good to be part of the group. You believe the same things and there are psychological benefits like acceptance, approval, significance, respect, and love from the relationships that flow out of those groups with shared beliefs. The dangerous dark side of these communities is when the benefits, e.g., finding approval, become more crucial to you than whatever the group believes. The temptation is to compromise what you believe because the benefits of connecting with a relational community are more vital.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/the-dangerous-dark-side-of-a-shared-belief-system/
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Shows Main Idea – My past Life Over Coffee two episodes are a response to different perspectives in the biblical counseling movement regarding its future. I stated part of the problem in our movement is that there is a lot of redundancy and little innovation. Some folks took issue, offering what they believe to be innovative from their perspectives. In this third episode, I aim to clarify what I mean by innovation, how it differs from a few others, and a path forward.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-425-seven-ways-biblical-counselors-can-innovate/
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Depression is a complicated problem that is the center of much debate within counseling circles. Though those discussions will not subside anytime soon, there are a few things we can do to help those struggling with depression. As an added bonus, we may learn a few ideas that will help ourselves when we spiral into the dumps of despair. It happens. Unannounced! I trust these practical and biblical suggestions will give you hope and help for your soul while guiding your care for your friends.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/hope-and-practical-help-for-those-struggling-with-depression/
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Think with me for a moment about what it means to be a bit player in a grander epic. The Christian life is God inviting us into His story that is coming true. We are not inviting Him into our story, hoping He will make our stories come true. As you ponder these thoughts, what difference does living in a larger story make? How does the knowledge of having a small part in a more fabulous narrative shape and influence your life?
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/learning-how-to-trust-the-author-of-your-story/
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Shows Main Idea – Ironically, my podcast last week about the decline of the biblical counseling movement found affirmation in a most unusual place—integrationists. Though I was not writing to the integrationists who are adjacent (their word, not mine) to biblical counseling, they took my episode, ran it through their hermeneutic and began game planning about bringing more innovation to their integrationists movement, not the biblical counseling movement. I think I need to clarify, so here goes.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-424-a-few-integrationists-affirm-my-point-about-bcs-decline/
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There is an interplay between truth and freedom that dynamically changes your life. The more the truth of God’s Word anchors you, the freer you are. Our example, as always, is Jesus Christ. He was supposedly the freest man ever to live. People’s opinions did not manage or entangle Him because the truth of God’s Word ran surveillance over of His mind. I’m not suggesting He dismissed views as though people did not matter, but Jesus weighed all opinions by the ultimate truth. This process of not letting other so-called truths manage Him made Him free.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/the-interplay-of-truth-and-freedom-that-sets-you-free/
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Moving forward in faith—believing God can do all things well for me— is one of the hardest things to do in our fallen world, especially when the decisions are difficult. Because of the complexity of deciding big things to move forward with life, the main thing I must do is make sure I have God’s perspective on the thing I’m thinking about doing. Without His sovereign clarity, my sight-lines will lower to a man-centered view, which will spell disaster. Thus, to move forward while guided by God’s perspective, I must understand and practice these three essential, sequential steps.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/three-tips-for-moving-forward-when-things-are-hard/
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Shows Main Idea – There is a difference between biblical counseling and the biblical counseling (BC) movement. Biblical counseling is a modern word for New Testament discipleship, God’s way of doing soul care. The BC Movement has been a vital means for elevating the need for every Christian to “counsel” others, and their usefulness has been substantial. But their relevancy has declined for many years. I will give you four reasons why.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-423-four-reasons-the-bc-movement-has-passed-its-prime/
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A friend asked me, “When you and Lucia realized you hadn’t asked for forgiveness for several years, how did you work out the gospel in that situation? You couldn’t go back and cover all your past sins against each other at that time, correct? So how do you handle forgiving sin over such an extended period?” His question is vital because we all have a history with people. Sometimes, history includes sinful interactions. Let’s suppose you “come to your senses” and want to resolve past conflict with someone one. How do you go about it?
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/now-that-i-want-forgiveness-how-do-i-handle-my-past-sins/
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Forgiveness is one of the most challenging concepts for Christians to come to terms with, especially when someone has hurt them. Recipients of unjust and unkind actions experience legitimate disappointment. Fortunately, we have the unjust suffering of Christ as a template for how to think about and respond to when someone sins against us. And as you might imagine, the pathway to follow Him has complexities and challenges, but there is grace for this. Let me explain.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/when-i-wont-forgive-someone/
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Shows Main Idea – When you think of fasting, where does it rank on your list of disciplines you employ regularly? I would imagine that going without food for an extended period is low on the list of most Christians' pursuit of holiness. I think we all know why. But what if I told you it's one of our most vital of the spiritual disciplines?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-422-the-grace-that-comes-to-those-who-practice-fasting/
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Pride is a catch-all word for sin. You could say that pride is sin, and sin is pride. Pride is a helpful word in that it accurately describes our fallenness. It is a word we know and a word we understand. For example, when I say that I am proud, everyone immediately knows that it is unacceptable and I need help. Pride is like a warning alarm that calls the gospel-centered person to action. The term gets you thinking and moving in the right direction, but pride also fails in its analysis because it misses my fallenness specifics that need gospel solutions.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/why-it-is-hard-to-repent-of-pride/
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Our minds are an integral part of ourselves. The mind establishes a definitive trajectory for how we live in God’s world. Did you know the Christian mind is a progression into four different ones? Like mile-markers up the interstate, you begin with one type; it evolves into something better, aiming for the purest kind of mind a person can have, the mind of Christ. What kind of mind do you have? Where are you in this progression? Are you ready to analyze the evolution of the Christian mind?
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/an-analysis-of-the-evolution-and-superiority-of-the-christian-mind/
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Shows Main Idea – Everyone knows about toxic masculinity, and there are just as many opinions to defend it as there are that denounce it. Have you ever thought about toxic femininity? Is it possible for a woman to be toxic? How do they become that way, and what is a path forward? The reasons they fall into the trap are real, and the dangers are tempting, but there is hope to become un-caught from this blinding sin of Christian, toxic femininity
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-421-ten-steps-leading-to-toxic-christian-femininity/
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One of the primary responsibilities of a wife is to disciple her husband. She is the number one sanctifying human agent in his life. Nobody knows more about him than she does. To disciple any person well, you must know them well, and who knows a husband better than his wife? She has seen him during his best days, and she has experienced him on the worst days. What he does to keep others from knowing him is more apparent to her. Thus, the million dollar question is, how does a wife provide soul care for her husband?
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/nine-effective-ways-to-disciple-your-husband-while-submitting-to-him/
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What is contentment, and how do we acquire it? Did you know it is the gift of the person who can live well on any point of the abundance to emptiness spectrum? Finding contentment seems elusive in our frantic and distracted world. Other matters weigh in vying to control our hearts. Contentment becomes a memory, an old friend from another era when you reminisced, a day where quietness was commonplace, and needs were few. The question remains: how do you find it? Did you know contentment comes from learning how to live with everything or nothing at all?
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/contentment-comes-from-the-blessing-of-disappointment/
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Shows Main Idea – Pastoral ministry is one of the more complex vocations a person could choose. We all have our stories. We know the statistics, the burnout rates, and the aftermath of a failed pastor. But there are more of them who do it well. Extremely well. The successes far outshine the failures, though we hardly talk about those doing it the right way. Goodness is not as tweetable as badness, but it’s worth asking; what makes a good pastor? What are some things you should look for in a potential pastoral candidate?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-420-how-do-you-assess-and-prepare-a-future-pastor-for-ministry/
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Utopia does not exist. It’s a mirage in a desert, similar to the person who wants to be perfect. My goal here is not to rain on anyone’s parade but to help gain a better perspective on living well in God’s world while releasing ourselves from pursuing the unrealistic, nonexistent perfect life. My concern is that some of us are not comfortable in our own skin, and as we stare at imperfection in the face, we hope to find something a little more perfect. If you’re that striving soul, I have excellent news for you; God’s strength needs your imperfection to magnify His fame for your good.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/four-reasons-to-praise-god-for-your-imperfections/
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Can a Christian walk away from God? To help work through this question, we must first recognize and accept that Christianity is not neat, and sin has never been respectful of our preferred categories. We also have to admit that this conversation is subjective in nature: we cannot know what is happening in a person’s heart or all the ancillary issues that contribute to why a person would “accept and reject” Christ. The Hebrew writer is suggesting there can be this kind of Christian—a believer who spurns the grace he once received for whatever reasons. What does that mean? How are we to think about friends who reject Christ?
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/i-met-a-man-who-refuses-to-walk-away-from-his-sin/
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Shows Main Idea – Divorce is an unending complexity. Even those who breathe a sigh of relief because it is over are not immune from the challenges. Suppose you were living through an unwanted divorce, or know someone who is. The ex-spouse has primary custody of the children. What are some key things you would want to know, common mistakes people generally make, and proper responses to your spouse, children, and new lifestyle? Here are a few thoughts for the spouse whose world just turned upside down.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-419-your-ex-spouse-has-the-kids-and-youre-afraid/
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The Internet is an angry place. It’s one of the sadder commentaries about the Internet period in church history to see how it has become a context to put our sinful hearts on full display before the world. Revealing my wicked heart is nothing new to those who know me, but it is new to have a new place to display it. The Internet is that space for too many of us to lower the gate and march our words out before a world that is keen on finding opportunities to remind us why Christianity is a farce. Because cyberspace seems worlds away, we can begin to think what we do there has little impact. It’s this disinhibition delusion that makes it most dangerous.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/the-internet-is-the-new-frontier-for-angry-people-hang-out/
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God is calling us to trust Him. There is a plan for this, and we are part of His plan. The tension, of course, is that He's the author of our stories, and we are not. Preferably, I want to be the writer of my story rather than trust the Sovereign story writer. During most of our daily affairs, we do trust God; it's only when things begin to fly sideways that the call to trust come under attack. When the heat in our lives intensifies, the temptation is to react in self-reliant ways because we're not getting the life we had hoped God would provide.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/i-am-mad-at-god-there-i-said-it/
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Shows Main Idea – There are some issues where it creates emotional tension if you speak honestly and transparently from two contrary perspectives. We tend to be on one side or the other. Fair and balanced becomes lost with some of our causes. Sometimes we don’t want to cede any aspect of our talking point out of fear: “If we admit their argument has valid elements, we lose ground on our perspective.” Other times folks will overcorrect because of past injustices, i.e., the reparation effect. Regardless of the reasons, we must work at being fair about our problems, and there are few things more vital for this kind of scrutiny than talking about abuse.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-418-five-common-mistakes-abuse-counselors-make/
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We have a herd mentality that drives us to conformity. The temptation to conform to the status quo is alluring. Rare individuals want to stand out and take a stand that is counter to the group’s norms, drawing attention to ourselves that might be criticized. We know a bully culture will cancel us if we step out of line. Sadly, there are many voices who have something to say and should be saying it but they dare not to because of timidity or perhaps they desire approval. Nevertheless, there is a call on all of us to find our unique voices and proclaim them regardless of the consequences. Of course, this leads us to the all-important question, how do you find our voice?
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/finding-your-voice-to-be-who-god-wants-you-to-be/
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Christian Legalism is the bane of religion. It’s the persistent nemesis in all of our hearts. Though we usually discuss legalism regarding our salvation, I’m speaking about how it affects our sanctification after being born again. Most Christians I encounter do not struggle with a works salvation mentality. Their real struggle is how they think about their performance after God regenerates them. They fully embrace Ephesians 2:8-9 as the only way to Christ, but there is a temptation to smuggle a “form of legalism” into their Christian experience; it’s Christian legalism, fueled by people pleasing and performance traps.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/what-kind-of-unworthy-are-you-the-good-kind-or-the-bad-kind/
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Shows Main Idea – Supporting Member: “I believe I have something to say, but I’m unsure how to say it, and I don’t know the mechanics of crafting a blog article that compels someone to hang with me. What are the secrets to writing well so that people will want to read what I have to say? What are some of the things you have learned that have worked to build a loyal following? I’m sure some tips and tricks from an experienced pro would help a person rise above the millions of bloggers out there who are competing to build a following.”
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-417-secrets-that-teach-you-how-to-write-compelling-blog-content/
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Typically, when people think about modesty, their minds immediately go to what a person wears and arbitrary preferences rather than the heart’s motivations that influence our external choices. Perhaps when I mentioned “modesty,” your impulse was similar: “Great, he will tell us what to wear!” If so, you’re normal. But my goal here is different. I am not going to suggest what you should wear. I want to focus on something more vital—our hearts, the genesis of all of our thoughts, attitudes, words, and behaviors, including how we adorn our bodies.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/exporting-modesty-to-the-next-generation/
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Social media is ubiquitous, and there are many redemptive applications of it. But with all good things, there is always the Adamic smell of death that lures some people into the darker side of what should be a means of grace. Social media has many temptations, one of those is the comparison trap that stirs a desire to compete with the culture’s view of appearance, attractiveness, and acceptance. Many women succumb to this temptation, especially as they age. As one wife asked me, “How do I compete with cyber women as my body continues to waste away?”
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/how-can-i-compete-with-cyber-women/
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One hundred out of one hundred people struggle with the fear of man. Caring about what others think about us is part of our Adamic packaging. I have never counseled a person who did not struggle with this problem to some degree. Our secular community calls it co-dependency or peer pressure. It hardly matters as long as you can biblically define what is happening and apply God’s solutions. In this case study, I’m going to address fear in the context of marriage. Specifically, insecurity as the inhibitor that keeps a husband from leading his wife well.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-416-a-crippling-reason-why-a-husband-does-not-lead-his-wife/
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Mable came to me, exclaiming, “I’m frustrated! I am always approaching my husband with my sin, asking for his forgiveness, but he seems never to see his need to ask me for forgiveness. Many times he won’t even bother to forgive me. What am I to do? How can I respond to him when he shows no interest in working with me through our problems?” Her complaint is not unusual in relationships, married or otherwise. In fact, her situation is probably the norm because folks do not mature equally or at the same pace. Let me share with you what I told her, and, of course, you can apply these things to either gender, not just Biff.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/my-husband-never-asks-for-forgiveness-how-am-i-to-respond/
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There is an intrinsic nature to bitterness. The bitter person is like someone with a cup of poison. Each time they think about their problems, they take another sip. In most situations, the individual is not aware of what they are doing to themselves. It’s an unwitting form of self-sabotage. Perhaps they are aware, but the pain of their situation is so disappointing that they don’t care. From their painful perspective, it’s easier to grumble, complain, vent, and hurt. There is a better solution.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/bitterness-is-self-induced-poisoning-of-the-soul/
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Shows Main Idea – Have you ever thought about how others think about you? I know you have because it’s a common impulse in all of us, though some folks overthink how they come across to others. It has too much control over their lives. What about you; what are your thoughts about God’s view of you? What do you think His opinion of you is? Did you know how you think God thinks about you is one of the most vital things you can think about?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-415-how-does-god-see-you-and-why-does-it-matter/
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People ask me often for parenting advice. It’s a broad subject, and depending on the age of the children and a host of other factors, my response is always different. Sometimes I tell them what we did, not because we have figured things out or that there is a formula “out there” somewhere. There is not. If any of our children do well, it will be God’s grace. But if you were to ask me a few of the top things we taught our children, let’s start with these. Here are our top fifty things that we want our daughters to know.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/50-things-i-want-my-daughter-to-know/
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What would you say if you could share the top 50 things you would want your son to take into adulthood? If your son is young, you’re in a great spot to start teaching some of these things. If your son is in his teen years, ask the Father to give you the time, wisdom, and courage to share your heart with him. If your son is out of the home, it’s not too late to carry on what you’ve begun or build those relational bridges to communicate what’s vital to you to him. Here are the 50 things I shared with my son.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/50-things-i-want-my-son-to-know/
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Shows Main Idea – There is an one-sided and perverse teaching that some Christians have pushed forward that wives should make themselves available for their husbands to keep them in the home, not looking for sex elsewhere. This perspective presumes the wife becomes the solution to a husband’s sexual desires and drive, plus the deterrent for extra-marital activity. Is this the proper way for a Christian woman to think about and respond to her husband?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-414-must-wife-have-sex-with-her-husband-so-he-wont-stray/
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It is not unusual for a marriage to be out-of-balance or spiritually off-kilter. There are many reasons for this problem between two formerly inseparable people who now have something between them that keeps them asymmetrical. Before addressing how to deal with a spouse who does not see a problem in their marriage, I have a few ideas of how these partners could have been so in love at the beginning and drift apart within a few years. Afterward, I will provide a few practical solutions for the spouse who wants to restore the marriage.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/my-husband-does-not-see-a-problem-with-our-marriage-2/
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Shows Main Idea – Perhaps you have heard someone talk about father wounds or daddy issues. Typically, these descriptors fit within a "wounded theology construct." It's part of a materialistic anthropological worldview that veers from the teaching of Scripture. When we integrate the culture into our Christian perspectives, we always come away with a hybrid that is neither Christian nor secular. What are the complicated problems with wounded theology and victim identity?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-413-the-problem-with-wounded-theology-and-victim-identity/
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Patiently loving the abused while listening to their story to comprehend what happened to and in them is vital. Additionally, you will represent Jesus most effectively if you do not move faster than they can go. Of course, you want them to experience restorative freedom, but each person moves at a unique pace, something you must discern while not artificially mandating. As you consider their restoration process, you want to discern several essentials, a few of which I will outline for you.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/listening-to-sexual-abuse-part-2/
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Sexual abuse is one of the most devastating and complicating sin crimes that someone forces on another human being. Though I don’t fully understand the horror of this type of abuse because it has not happened to me, I’ve sat with many victims of sexual violence and felt and seen, in part, the effect it has on them. Even the abused have a hard time articulating what has happened to them. Thus, it’s essential when helping the abused that you listen well to what they are telling you. You need to be highly careful and competent to care for these broken souls.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/listening-to-sexual-abuse-part-1/
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Shows Main Idea – A friend shared a video from a biblical counseling ministry where the leader spoke to women about their views on helping when abuse happens. My friend asked my opinion, which I shared, and then decided it would be worth a more in-depth examination because I have seen this before, where a person with a good heart overreaches with a flawed hermeneutic to make the Bible say something that it does not, hoping to help those victims. We don’t have to twist God’s Word to care for hurting souls.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-412-do-we-have-to-twist-scripture-to-help-victims-of-abuse/
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Anger is one of our most common temptations. You cannot put two imperfect people together for an extended period and expect them not to have conflict. Anger will always be part of their relationship. Knowing how to navigate the conflict while removing the anger is essential. We cannot work through any relational dust-up well if our sin plan does not include anger’s removal. In this chapter, I have twelve crucial tips to help anyone address their conflict from a biblical perspective.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/12-tips-to-help-a-person-who-is-angry-with-someone/
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Roll through your mental index, identifying the kind of person or people you do not prefer, or those you typically avoid? They do things you don’t like. Their attitude, mannerism, behavior, worldview, or [fill in the blank] is not your cup of tea. Perhaps it’s something your spouse, child, parent, or church member does. Maybe it’s that Christian hypocrite who needs to “get a life” or someone who has different strengths and weaknesses from yours. Do you have that person in mind? Great! Let’s proceed by applying the Lord’s mandate to love your enemy.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/pick-an-enemy-now-will-you-do-what-jesus-said-love-them/
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Shows Main Idea – There is a spiritual connection between the disciple-maker and the disciple. The Spirit of God binds them together. When this connection happens, the effect on each other’s lives will be impactful and transformative. There are three essentials that every disciple-maker must have to have this kind of impact on themselves and others. Let’s take a look at these three essentials in sequential order.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-411-three-essentials-we-need-to-be-effective-disciple-makers/
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When mass shootings happen, many reasonable people stand on all sides of the gun control debate. Some folks want to limit the number of guns we have and how we use them. Others want to eliminate them altogether. Then there are those who want more freedom regarding firearms. The debate is ongoing, but it always intensifies when there is a murder. These shootings rip out our hearts as we try to comprehend what happened. It does not matter how many times you hear of it or how much violence you watch on television; when you hear a story about people killing people, the sadness overwhelms you.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/what-is-the-best-solution-for-the-gun-control-problem/
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Sometimes the English language is inadequate for conveying our thoughts. Words always seem to fall short when there is a personal or national tragedy. Tragedies remind me of Job’s friends who made a wise choice in the beginning not to speak so quickly. Horrific events render our minds into something like a busy intersection in gridlock. Each time I hear of one, I mentally pause, reflect, and mourn. You do this too because we’re Christians. We care. We also want to prepare our hearts as we respond to terrible events.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/preparing-your-heart-for-tragedy-like-las-vegas-nv/
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Shows Main Idea – Fear is our number one temptation. We are afraid of so many things, and making a mistake is probably at the top of most people’s "I don’t want this to happen" lists. How can you know with certainty that the person you meet, the place you go, or the thing you do are right and the results will not disappoint you? Sadly, too many people have experienced hurt too many times, and they have relegated themselves to a lesser life to keep themselves from future disappointment.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-411-how-can-i-know-a-person-place-or-thing-wont-disappoint/
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A counselor friend asked how you encourage someone when they are angry at God for what happened to them? The lady is mad because Sovereign Lord did not protect her from horrific victimization. He has been meeting with her for weeks, and wondered if he should give similar counsel the Lord gave to Job, “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you have understanding. Shall a faultfinder contend with the Almighty? He who argues with God, let him answer it.” His question is intriguing and needs careful examination when helping the unchanging, hurt soul.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/im-angry-at-god-because-he-did-not-help-me-when-i-needed-him/
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Everybody is a victim. We all received a raw deal. And life is not fair. I’m not mocking anyone, but merely stating the obvious. Nobody comes into the world unscathed. We’re fallen individuals. In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve’s dastardly deed sent the world and all its inhabitants into the mire of deep, dark, unsalvagable sin. No exceptions. But it gets worse. After we arrived in this cursed world, people began piling on, hurting us. Not to be outdone, we hurt others too, which leaves us with the most crucial question we could ask ourselves: Will our negative narratives rule us, or will we flip those tragedies and make them redemption stories?
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/a-note-to-those-who-are-angry-with-god-for-the-life-they-have/
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Shows Main Idea – Julie Roys titles herself as an investigative journalist that reports the truth and restores the church. Both of those claims are dubious as Christians on all points of the evangelical spectrum are anything but restored and emotionally divided about Julie’s perspective on the truth. The current and ongoing centerpiece of her investigative activism is John MacArthur.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-409-why-julie-roys-is-a-dangerous-investigative-journalist/
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Few things are more frightening to a child than an angry dad. An angry father in the home is the metaphorical equivalent of rolling a child’s heart through a minefield. The angry dad forces the child to live between two worlds: strive to be perfect or receive the father’s exasperating disapproval. The accumulative effect of that kind of torment is hard to overcome. If the angry dad does not change, the child will fall prey to a lifetime of internal and relational struggles.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/the-angry-dad/
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Abuse is one of the most common subjects discussed in our culture today. Knowing how to respond when someone abuses another person is vital, something every church and its members must become proficient at doing. In this episode, I walk through ten essentials about abuse. Though this treatment is not exhaustive, these ten things must be on every checklist so we can become more effective soul care providers for the abused and their abusers.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-408-the-ten-point-checklist-when-abuse-happens/
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When children are young, they believe their parents are impressive in about every way. As they grow older and create proper categories for living well with others, they begin to see their parents’ good and bad behaviors. Observing flawed lives in the family dynamic does not have to be harmful to the children if the parents consistently clean up their messes by active repentance. However, suppose the husband and wife are not modeling a practical picture of Christ and His church while repenting along the way. In that case, it can have a detrimental impact on their children, even pushing them away from the family and Christ. Biffy was one of those kids, as you are about to read from the letter he wrote to his dad.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/dear-parents-will-you-stop-your-arguing-please/
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We live in two worlds at the same time, the physical and spiritual. We can see, touch, taste, smell, hear and intimately engage each other in the physical realm. The spiritual world is all around us, too. But differently. We cannot touch, taste, smell, hear or see this world, but it is just as real. Imagine this: it takes all our lives to learn how to live well in the physical world. What about the unseen realm? How difficult it must be to live well with what we cannot see. The temptation would be natural to dismiss the spiritual world, but that would be a mistake.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/spiritual-warfare-some-tips-on-how-to-fight/
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Shows Main Idea – The novelty of social media has turned deadly but many Christians do not know how it's eating away at the soul of the church. It has been so subtle (and fun) that we are amusing ourselves to spiritual death. And we're exporting our cyber behavior to our children as they grow up in a world where gathering worshiping, and spurring one another on to love and good works is for past generations. The process of life in the cyber world happened in four strategic steps.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-407-the-new-and-dangerous-way-christians-build-community/
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The angry heart does not have to direct its frustration toward anyone to complicate that relationship. All the angry person has to do is stand in the vicinity of those who receive the spillover of their anger. Whether you’re mad at someone or intoxicating the room with your frustration, it will damage your redemptive goals with the casualties. Every partner, parent, pastor, and peer must learn to bring sinful anger into submission to Christ, or it will complicate the lives of others.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/when-the-parents-anger-complicates-the-life-of-the-child/
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Shows Main Idea – One of our long-time supporters posed a question about demonic activity on our forums. He suggested that biblical counselors and Christians generally do not devote adequate time and concern to demonic activity. His concerns and valid, and our supporters may read that thread here. In this episode, I'm addressing some of the problems and how to think through demonic activity practically.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-406-should-christians-place-an-emphasis-on-demonic-activity/
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I have been accused (my word, not theirs) of writing too much about how husbands need to change. Of course, my “accusers” are husbands. They may be right. I do think a lot about husbands for two primary reasons. I am a husband, which motivates me to give more thought to how to be a better one, and men should be servant leaders in their families, so I typically begin with me—how can I change? But those priorities do not negate the truth that some women are mean. So, to all husbands everywhere, let’s talk about those mean wives and the husbands who must work extra hard to love them well.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/mean-wives-and-their-husbands-who-should-love-them-anyway/
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Transformation starts in a person’s soul as he relates to God while refusing to make excuses for why things are the way they are. The motivation for change must be a singular desire to glorify God while giving lesser consideration to the things happening in an individual’s life and relationships. If a person focuses more on horizontal complications than God-glorifying, vertical necessities, it will be challenging to bring their soul to a place of authentic, long-term heart change.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/i-knew-i-could-not-stay-angry-and-progress-in-my-marriage/
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Shows Main Idea – The DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition) is the manual that the APA (American Psychiatric Association) uses to identify psychological (soul) problems. In March 2022, the APA published a new DSM-5 Text Revision (DSM-5-TR). It is to the secular community what the Bible is for the Christian community. Dr. Daniel Berger shares his opinions on the DSM and the latest changes.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-405-dr-daniel-berger-discusses-the-new-dsm-5-tr-text-revision/
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Two radically different things are knowing God through personal study and experiencing Him in the crucible of suffering. This autobiographical short story briefly walks you through the worst day of my life, the day I met the Lord in the crucible of suffering. Everything changed that day, and it took years to process His fearful work in my life. The good news is that after He completed this phase of my life, I was on the right track for an unimaginable adventure with God. But first, the hard part.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/28th-anniversary-worst-day-life/
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A husband who devalues his wife did not just become this way. There is always a trail that leads to this outcome. Devaluing a spouse is a symptom, not a cause. There are two ways to keep from marrying such a selfish, devaluing man. One, you must recognize the early signs and run before the trail heats up. The second is much harder; you have already married him and are reaping the whirlwind of his selfishness. There is still hope and help for this second situation, though it will come through God’s strength perfected in your weakness.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/the-surprising-truth-of-why-a-husband-devalues-his-wife/
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Shows Main Idea – What do you do when someone data-dumps on you about someone else? You did not ask for it, but the person gossiped about another person—perhaps a friend of yours—and it was unsolicited. These situations are almost always messy, leaving you uncomfortable and challenged to respond humbly and biblically to the gossiper. In most cases, this is not the first time the gossiper gossiped, which ratchets the need to do something about it because gossip is a spiritual cancer that divides friendships and churches.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-404-how-to-respond-when-someone-gossips-to-you/
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New Testament sanctification typically happens in corporate contexts, not in isolation. It is appropriate to say that you can do many things by yourself, but sanctification is not one of those things; it’s not possible to image the Trinity by living apart from the community of faith. The apostle Paul mainly wrote to local churches, teaching those communities how to do mutual, reciprocal life together. One of the vital keys to robust community life is understanding the value and appropriateness of corrective care.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/the-art-and-care-of-correction/
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If you want to change your life, you need a self-help book to guide you through the process. The good news is that there is a perfect book for you. It's called the Bible, the world's most perfect psychology book. Yes, the best psychology book; I will explain that later. There is not a better system of thought than the Bible when it comes to life change. If you're ready for a radical transformation, keep reading.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/perfect-self-help-book-that-will-change-your-life/
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Shows Main Idea – Believing something and knowing something are two different things. Though knowing something is more important than believing something, we connect them because whatever it is we know, it flows into our belief systems. And our beliefs systems will pour into our practices. The formula is knowledge creates beliefs, which form our practices. If our knowledge comes from something outside of God’s Word, it will alter our belief systems and practices, which could be detrimental to any individual and their relationships.
https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-403-the-difference-between-believing-and-knowing-something/
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Bible knowledge is incredible and a non-negotiable for any serious believer. But knowledge without application is futile, practically speaking. For the Bible to master any of us, we have to do more than read it. Think of it like two silos side by side. One is full of knowledge, and the other is replete with applications. When you examine your “silos,” are they keeping up with each other, or is one lagging behind? If you’re building your life knowledgeably with proportional applications, you’re at the best possible place in your Christian growth plan.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/five-things-you-need-to-know-to-be-mastered-by-the-bible/
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Shows Main Idea – There are many kinds of rest, i.e., power naps, sleeping, vacations, your career, mental breaks, coffee breaks, and the list continues. But there is one rest that transcends them all, and nobody will enjoy the fullest possibilities of rest until they learn and practice this one. It's a transcendent rest that rises above them all. There are two keys to ascertaining this most exquisite rest.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-402-two-keys-to-mature-into-the-best-rest-you-can-have/
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Traditional biblical counseling does not work well if a counseling session, sprinkled here and there, is all you have. That strategy places the burden of change on the counselor rather than on the individual who needs a new kind of habituated lifestyle. Biblical discipleship happens in a 24/7 context where the person who desires change is availing himself of all the means of grace the Lord provides for transformation. I have listed a few of these means that have worked for me when helping a struggling soul carve out a new way of living.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/ten-habits-that-can-change-your-life/
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Shows Main Idea – A theology of suffering is a theoretical reality with life-transforming implications if we can live it out robustly and practically, with God’s fame and the benefit of the community in view. Of course, the saying is true: “It’s easier said than done.” Learning how to live well with suffering should be every Christian’s desire because the promise from God, in the beginning, was that life would be a suffering one. In this episode, Rick presents four crucial ideas for those who dare learn these lessons.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-401-living-well-requires-a-transcendent-view-of-suffering/
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Authentic health initiatives require both body and soul transformation. In my article, Let’s Talk about Losing Weight, Practically Speaking, I spoke about this crucial worldview on body health perspectives. A comprehensive approach to losing weight is the secret sauce because behavioral modification might provide quick visual results, but if we don’t change our hearts, those external transformations will revert to an old manner of living. Since I have discussed the soul aspects in the previous piece, let’s touch on a few practical things that complement that soul work.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/a-practical-step-by-step-plan-to-lose-weight-4/
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One of the most sensitive subjects we can talk about today is weight loss. It matters not if you’re a Christian; image-type discussions are more personal than the things we cannot observe about each other. Some folks are so opposed to talking about it that they have redefined what overweight and obesity are; we prefer to think of ourselves as body positive regardless of how healthy we might be or what comorbidities we’re accumulating. Thankfully, the Bible cuts through the confusion with clarity that helps us change into Christlike vessels, inside and out.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/lets-talk-about-weight-loss/
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Shows Main Idea – The most popular people are those who do things for others. If you have something to give, a product or service, for example, people will want what you have to offer. Generally speaking, most people will leave you alone if you have nothing to give. This concept might sound strange on the surface, but it is how God wants us to live; He has asked us to love Him and others more than ourselves. Thus, our instinctive orientation should be outward, not inward. However, this concept has complicating factors that need our attention.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-400-your-value-to-others-comes-from-what-you-provide/
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Shows Main Idea – Finding good friends begins with defining the word friends. We have Facebook friends, and we have our most intimate friendships. Between those two points on the “friendship map” are many other categories within the friendship nomenclature. Identifying your best friends and carefully assessing those you don’t want in your inner circle is vital for obvious reasons. In this podcast, I’m examining the ins and out of building great friendships and how to create distance from those who are not ready for a higher level of transparency.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-399-how-to-identify-and-benefit-from-genuine-friendships/
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Part of every Christian’s calling is to take care of their Father’s money. Stewarding finances is one of the many privileges that He gives to His children. It’s a stunning thought to think that God would entrust something so needful to steward for our good and His fame (Psalm 24:1-2). Of course, money matters are one of the most significant concerns for individuals and couples, which is why I’ve built this practical mind map that will help you spread God’s fame by managing His money well.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/a-practical-mind-map-that-teaches-you-how-to-manage-money/
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All people born in Adam have no choice about personal suffering (Genesis 2:16-17). It is part of the human condition. Not even Christ could escape it. To be human is to suffer. Knowing this reality about suffering is the bad news, but there is good news, too. We can choose the conditions for our suffering. We can experience our trouble with or without God. If you reconcile that human suffering is life-long, then the all-important question is, which option would you choose?
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/how-do-you-want-to-suffer-with-or-without-god/
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Confrontation is one of those sticky things many people shy away from because they prefer the path of least resistance. Why get in a dust-up with someone where feelings are hurt and the relationship may change forever? Of course, the obvious answer is that our allegiance must be to God, and honoring His Word is essential to fortifying that allegiance. The question then becomes, what are a few biblical tips when you find yourself in the undesirable place of a potential confrontation?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-398-ten-things-to-consider-when-you-confront-someone/
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How do you feel when inconsiderate people say unkind things about you? If you’re like me, it stings a bit. It’s exceptional for a person to shrug off uncharitable comments completely. In these unsavory moments sometimes a person will throw up Matthew 7:1—Judge not, that you be not judged—like an impulsive shield to the unkindness. Did you know that text is not your best defense against unfair judgments? There is another way, a gospel-orientated mindset that becomes your soul’s most potent anchor against those who are unkind toward you, which begs the question: If someone’s unkind words manage my emotions, what am I missing that gives them that kind of power over me?
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/do-unkind-and-unfair-judgments-about-you-control-you/
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What are your thoughts about "his money and her money" in a marriage? Is it wise or unwise? Somewhere in between? As you ponder my questions, please include your thoughts on what a one-flesh marriage means. Perhaps you have heard the cliche about the left hand not knowing what the right hand is doing. Is that a good idea when it comes to marriage money? Is it wise for couples to have a worldview and practice where they don't know what the other one is doing with their money? Lots of questions. Let's explore.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/his-money-and-her-money-is-not-biblical-common-cents/
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God promised that life would be challenging because of the fall of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3:17-19), and all those who came from the first couple would struggle similarly (Romans 5:12). From the fall of humanity to the end of each as we know it, the promise of pain, suffering, difficulty, and personal problems is what it means to live in a fallen world as fallen creatures. It sounds gloomy because it is, but this dose of reality must be our worldview and baseline understanding if we want to live well in God’s world while avoiding the temptation to anger when things do not go our way.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/the-problem-with-cursing-the-sun/
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Anger is a relationship fracturing phenomenon that happens too often between individuals. The angry heart desires something from someone who does not provide it or is not responding quickly enough. Because their desire is not finding satiation, the craving soul begins to manipulate the other person with anger. I'm speaking of sinful anger, of course. It is as though they are saying, "I will only be content if you meet this need." In nearly all these cases, the short-tempered person has too many needs.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/angry-people-have-way-too-many-needs/
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Shows Main Idea – I belong to a local church and love biblical counseling. How do I propose a counseling ministry for our church, which does not have one? What are a few things I need to consider as I prepare a presentation to my leaders? This webinar is not an exhaustive treatment on this subject, but a few essential things to begin building a biblical counseling ministry in a local church. It's for pastors who want to know how to identify the correct point person, the leader, so they have reasonable expectations and the church as they gear up to embrace a discipleship/counseling worldview.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-397-webinar-how-to-propose-a-counseling-ministry-to-a-church/
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A recurring question inquirers ask about our Mastermind training program is if they take our course, will it go toward certification with the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC). This podcast provides the direct answer and a few other thoughts about certification.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-396-why-acbc-does-not-accept-our-training/
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All Christians bring parts of their past lives into their new salvation experience with God. If we do not see how we carry over these things from our pasts, we will continue to accommodate our old habits, practices, and delusions (Ephesians 4:22). The consequences can be awful. The aim is to identify and break those old patterns that have always been with us so we can live a life for God and others.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/anger-alleviation-a-quest-to-be-god-a-case-study/
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Shows Main Idea – God is complete. He cannot be more or less than what He is at every moment. He is self-existing and not dependent upon or manipulated by anyone. The confusion comes when people misunderstand how the Bible uses human language to communicate what God is like, to help us understand Him. Some believers believe God is like them, i.e., capable of experiencing oscillating manipulated emotions. We don't want a God so easily moved by fallenness, or one we can command to bring justice to our sorrows.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-395-god-does-not-become-sad-when-you-hurt-hes-better-than-that/
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Angry people are like puppets on strings, always controlled by their cravings—something they cannot get from others. James said it this way, “You desire and cannot have, so you murder.” The mad puppet can’t get what he wants, so he reacts with manipulative anger. The cure for angry puppets comes when they see how these desires control them rather than God, and attempting to manipulate others to give them their cravings is futile and relationally suffocating.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/to-be-angry-is-to-be-a-puppet-on-a-string/
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Shows Main Idea – The "Y Chart” is an old, albeit helpful biblical counseling tool that some disciple-makers use to help folks see the differences between good and destructive behaviors. A few of these soul-care providers have tended to focus more on the behaviors than the source of our behaviors, which come from the heart. This webinar is “The Gospel Y Chart,” which comprehends the entire change process from who we are in Christ to how we should believe and practice as Christ-followers.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-394-webinar-the-gospel-y-chart/
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Sinful anger is a universal problem. Everybody does it. For many people, it’s the most recurring sin pattern in their lives. It’s easier to be harsh than kind, to uncharitably judge than think the best, to shut people down than build them up. For the individual who does not want to stay stuck in sinful anger, the number one key to overcoming this habit is seeing yourself correctly. Like all our sinful patterns, if we don’t place the log carefully into our eyes, we’ll never successfully work through any anger problems we may have. Having a correct biblical vision is the perfect starting point.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/when-you-get-angry-do-you-see-yourself-correctly/
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Expressing anger through silence is an all-too-common communication conflict in too many relationships. The silent partner pretends the other person does not exist by ignoring them. Silent treatment sounds horrible enough, but if you place it within James’s framework for anger, what we’re talking about is murder. Though consequentially not as bad as physical murder, it’s a heinous sin nonetheless.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/weekend-shorts-silent-treatment-is-the-sanitized-version-of-murder/
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Shows Main Idea – This podcast interview brings insight from a young adult who has engaged her friendships and culture. She sees essential things you want to avoid and a few essentials to build well with a future spouse. Whether you are interested in someone or dating with the intent of getting married, here are a few red flags to help illuminate where you and your significant other stands on the most vital issues for a future relationship.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-393-make-sure-your-future-relationship-doesnt-look-like-this/
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There are times when it’s hard to tell if a person’s anger is righteous or not. Of course, there is the added issue of thinking the best of ourselves when it comes to our anger. Thus, the temptation to reclassify our angry moments is alluring. Righteous anger is the term we use to describe someone who is not sinning when angry; it is possible to be angry and sin not, but the question is, how do you know if your anger is righteous or unrighteous? What does righteous anger do that sinful anger cannot?
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/what-is-righteous-anger/
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The number one question folks ask us is, "What do you do?" Or, "What is your ministry about?" These are valid queries, and in this episode, I explain to you the what, why, and how of our ministry. Succinctly put, we exist to help people by providing life-changing resources so they can go and help others. You're welcome to listen to the podcast or watch the thirty-minute keynote presentation that breaks down what we do and why and how we do it.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-392-the-complete-update-about-how-and-why-we-do-what-we-do/
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Christianity is not a spectator sport; God has called us to participate in the good things He is working into our lives. Not participating in our sanctification by appropriating His grace is a sign of death, not life. In this webinar, I explain through mind mapping what it means to be doers of the Word, a process that leads to Christian maturity.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-391-webinar-mind-mapping-christian-maturity/
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Sinful anger is regularly minimized, even among Christians, especially among Christians. We often reclassify anger to lesser-sounding offenses—to better-sounding sin categories. Typically, when I talk to people about being angry, the response is usually along the lines of, “Oh no, I’m not an angry person. I think if I were angry, I would respond differently than this. I’m just frustrated.”
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/damaging-effects-of-our-anger-when-we-dont-own-it/
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Show Main Idea: Today’s sexually confused society is not difficult to understand if you interpret the problem through the correct filter. It used to be that everyone identified as a male or female, based on objective anatomical evidence at a child’s birth. In the past few decades, what has always been evident to the naked eye is now fluid; it is “to be determined,” based on other criteria that you can’t know until the child becomes an adult. In this talk, I seek to make sense of sexual confusion while offering help and hope for those caught in the tension of two worldviews.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-390-webinar-making-sense-of-our-sexually-confused-culture/
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Have you ever wondered what is going on in the mind of the angry person? It’s not what you might think. Anger is our most common and problematic enemy that can set up camp in our hearts. If practiced often, it can become a habit that destroys our minds and relationships. Yes, our minds; it’s more than a behavior. It’s a heart condition, first of all. To get rid of it, we must understand its exact cause. We will begin to take down the behavior as we address the source practically.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/diagramming-the-heart-of-the-angry-person/
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Let’s free associate: what goes through your mind when you think about rest? What does rest mean to you, and how do you obtain it? Perhaps it would be good to ask yourself if you are a restful soul. Knowing how to rest and being at rest are essentials in our fearful and frenetic world. Though Christians should be the most restful of all humanity, it’s not a given, which is why practically thinking about rest is worth our time.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/are-you-a-restful-soul-how-to-enter-gods-rest/
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Shows Main Idea – Helping the victims of abuse cannot be like looking down a tube, excluding comprehensive, peripheral data-gathering. You must believe the victim so much that you want to investigate every possible option to find the whole truth about the abuse so that you can serve the offended and offender in the best possible ways. In this episode, Rick talks about two ways to investigate abuse situations—the inverted and comprehensive belief models and why the latter is the wisest way to help victims.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-389-comprehensive-data-gathering-is-crucial-to-help-victims/
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There are times when we can deceive ourselves into believing we are doing good when we’re not. The deceptions of sin are subtle. Having someone speak into the things we cannot see is vital, which is what I did with Biff and Mable. This mindmap (below) unravels their tangled marriage by showing how and why he did not love his wife well while choosing to love others more. He had twisted ruling motives of the heart. No surprise; I have them, too. But it was worse. He used the Bible to support his actions.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/my-husband-does-not-protect-me-a-mind-map-case-study/
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There are times when you have to do hard things for those whom you love. You do the difficult things because—in some situations—it’s the best way to honor someone. Some caring friends have a hard time applying this truth to those they love. Usually, they are afraid not to acquiesce to the demands because of the gaslighting and manipulations. They must come to terms with this complicated truth: honoring others does not mean letting them run all over you.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/honoring-someone-does-not-mean-to-give-them-everything-they-want/
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What do you want to be when you grow up? It’s not just a question for the high school graduate. I did not figure out what I wanted to be after growing up until I was thirty-eight years old. Some of us are a bit slower than the average bear. If you’re uncertain about your niche in life, I have some valuable advice for you.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/what-do-you-want-to-be-when-you-grow-up-heres-some-advice/
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Shows Main Idea – Guilt and conviction are two of many kindnesses from the Lord. We would not know there was something wrong with us if the Spirit did not let us know. But because we live in a post-Genesis three world, there is confusion about guilt and conviction. This webinar addresses the confusion while bringing practical insight into how to respond to true conviction, the effects of feelings not from God, and how to live in the freedom of the Lord’s forgiveness.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-388-webinar-victory-over-true-guilt-defeating-a-false-sense-of-guilt/
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Show Main Idea: Everyone is different because of our unique and diverse shaping influences. Understanding what motivates an individual is essential to do competent soul care. This webinar is an in-depth exploration of our human motivations and shaping influences with practical applications that will help you understand those you care about the most.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-387-webinar-human-motivations-and-shaping-influences/
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Shows Main Idea – "In our modern world of progression and electronic communication, social media has become the primary way information is distributed and people connect. It is not common to find someone without social media, from personal to professional relationships, yet here I am." In this episode, Rick interviews Tristen Thomas as she shares six reasons to reduce or give up social media.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-386-young-adult-shares-six-reasons-to-give-up-social-media/
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Thinking about our past can be a good thing. There is a lot made of a person’s past in the counseling world. Our history is important because God was in our past. (cf. Jeremiah 1:5; Ephesians 1:3-11). The Lord did not show up in our lives at the point of salvation. Omniscient and omnipresent, God has always been aware of and involved in our lives. He knows more about our past, present, and future than we do.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/eight-ways-to-think-about-your-past-those-things-that-happened-to-you/
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One of the most unintended consequences of the biblical counseling movement is that counseling is for a select number of Christians. Though God has blessed the biblical counseling movement over the past several decades, one of the problems with the unprecedented growth of biblical counseling is that we forgot to tell the church that counseling is for everyone, not just a few (Romans 15:14). God’s call on your life is to go and make disciples, a synonym for counseling.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/any-christian-can-counsel-are-you-counseling/
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We express satisfaction about something based on how much we value it. The formula is “value creates satisfaction.” If we don’t value it, we won’t find satisfaction with it. For example, if you have received a long-anticipated or cherished gift, you responded with joy because it was something that you valued. For the believer, when you appreciate God more than anything else, you will experience the greatest joy possible. You will be forever happy because Christ is eternally valuable.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/a-post-christmas-follow-up-are-you-happy/
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Authentic and mature Christianity is always on the mind of any discipler because it is crucial to discern such things with those who receive your care. As much as you can subjectively understand, the actual spiritual condition of a person is essential to know. Here are a few practical ways to help you think correctly about those you love. As you work through this content, give proper consideration to yourself to see how well you’re maturing in Christ, too.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/the-number-one-sign-of-authentic-christianity/
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Supporter Question: As a full-time elder and pastor for 27 years, I have seen and walked with people through many forms of offenses and relational conflict. Your articles are helpful and needed in the church today. In the following scenario, I wonder if you could address forgiveness and the need to walk free from resentment and bitterness.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/when-unforgiveness-lingers-resentment-and-bitterness-enter/
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Show Main Idea: Some people are hard to be attracted to, and when I find myself thinking like this, I know I have lost my divine perspective, and my discipling of them is on the verge of being ineffective. Thus, I must recalibrate my heart to God's perspective and the gospel before I can help them change. In this practical webinar, Rick breaks down into a granular level the essential things you need to know before you can help others change.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-385-webinar-essential-things-before-helping-someone-change/
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Show Main Idea: When one spouse is consistently critical and the other is insecure, the relationship polarizes and will not correct itself without radical changes. The problem is the insecure spouse wants the good, proper, and biblical desires of love, respect, and acceptance, but the critical spouse is sinning, choosing not to provide them. This vital webinar speaks to the underlying root problems with this type of relational conundrum, practical steps to change, and the ultimate solution.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-384-webinar-the-critical-spouse-the-insecure-spouse/
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The gospel is more than a birth-to-death story. The life and death of Christ are part of an incredible golden chain that reaches from eternity past to eternity future. The best news of all is we can enjoy the full benefits of the gospel by faith—no works, just trust. Christ has done all the work for us. Our job is to apply and benefit from all aspects of the gospel. The key question is whether we are fully understanding and applying the full measure of the gospel to our lives.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/the-gospel-is-more-than-a-birth-to-death-story/
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The interplay between the Christian and secular worlds is relevant for all believers. Knowing “what is truth” is always a struggle for anyone, but especially when those who own the airwaves breathe out one-sided stories predominantly. This past week, I benefited from a few smaller voices that shared contrary messages to the standard groupthink. These folks talked about some of the most critical events in today’s culture. I’m not suggesting they own the truth; these resources merely offer alternate opinions.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-383-six-resources-to-help-you-think-about-our-cultural-crisis/
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Show Main Idea: A child’s earliest understanding of God the Father comes from their earthly fathers. The psychological term in early child development is mutual exclusivity, a child assigning one label to describe all items within the category. The culture understands the concept but they don’t have the best answers. In this webinar, Rick talks about how many children initially map their experience with their fathers over how they think about God the Father. He speaks to the problem while providing practical training for us to parent well.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-382-webinar-parenting-the-important-role-of-fathers/
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The Christmas season is a double blessing for the believer. We get to celebrate the birth of Christ, a pivotal point of the gospel narrative. And we can enjoy the cultural Christmas, too. It’s okay to engage the things of this world if your heart does not crave those things in a sinful way (James 1:14-15). What are the benefits of penetrating the culture to engage those who do not know Christ while enjoying the season?
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/enjoying-the-cultural-and-the-christian-christmas/
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Rick, what are your thoughts on Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy as far as what you tell your kids? Do you say these characters are real or not? Is this harmless fun, or is there a problem with deception going on here? The culture continues to creep into our homes and lives. I'm not sure how to walk them through our seasonal intruder with younger children, especially when their friends are adamant about Santa being an actual person. – Supporting Member
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/the-santa-claus-question-what-do-i-tell-my-children/
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Shows Main Idea – This episode review of The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill speaks to the aftermath of Mark Driscoll’s resignation from the church. Mike Cosper from Christianity Today interviews an eclectic group of folks who talk about the heartbreak, turmoil, fear, as well as the practical matters of finding new churches, jobs, and relationships. Meanwhile, Mark popped back up in Arizona; he rebranded and relaunched himself as though nothing happened. In this review, I will speak to five essential takeaways for all of us to learn.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-381-response-to-the-rise-and-fall-of-mars-hill-episode-14/
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On Christmas day, people all over the world exchange presents. It is a cultural event full of fun memories. I do like many aspects of the cultural Christmas. Sadly, Christmas loses its meaning because of its secularization. For most people, Christmas is about the economy, presents, or family conflict. We lose the idea of a generous gospel in most of the world, which is why I want to talk about a theology of gift-giving. Perhaps a refresher on sacrifice will recalibrate our minds to the primary reason for the season.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/a-theology-of-gift-giving/
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Show Main Idea: Our attitudes, words, and actions generate in our hearts. There should not be a discontinuity between who we are internally and our external selves. If we are ontologically affected by the gospel, the things we think, say, and do will have a gospel-centered vibe and effect. In this webinar, Rick presents a practical presentation on how to connect the gospel to our everyday lives. The goal is to be gospel-centered internally and externally.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-380-webinar-connecting-the-gospel-to-everyday-life/
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Marital dysfunction and potential separation of a spouse is a horrible experience that happens too often in Christian marriages. Did you know there is a way to separate well and a way to do it badly? Separation and divorce are not what we should do, but if it happens, we must do it the right way. In this case study, the wife is leaving; you can flip this fictional narrative around to where the husband is leaving because the truths apply to both genders.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/how-to-separate-well-from-your-spouse/
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Hope in God is like a telescope that has a practical, eschatological application. It does not change your circumstances, but it gives you a perspective that buoys you while in your trouble. David talked about the hope he had in God in Psalm 42. I trust it will benefit you.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-379-hope-in-god-does-not-change-your-circumstances/
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Show Main Idea: Having a disorder is accepted and common speak in today’s culture. But most people do not know what it means to have a disorder or think about the problem biblically. Though the disorder problem is real, the way we think about them and work to overcome them needs biblical precision. In this insightful webinar, Rick clarifies what’s wrong with the disorder language by recategorizing the issue biblically and then bringing practical solutions to these problems.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-378-webinar-a-biblical-perspective-on-disorders/
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When you get to heaven, what will be the first words out of your mouth? I suspect it will be something along the lines of “thank you” for many of us. Two words. Two syllables. Because it will be true then, it would be good to self-assess now to see how gratitude characterizes us today. Are you practicing today what you’ll be saying throughout eternity?
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/the-gospel-and-gratitude-are-you-characterized-as-a-grateful-person/
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Loving others the way God loves you can be a challenge anytime, but the difficulty intensifies during the holidays because some family members rub you the wrong way. There are two kinds of people in the world: Christians and non-Christians. Within these two groups are those you prefer to hang with and those with whom you would rather not spend your time.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/dealing-with-difficult-relatives-during-the-holidays/
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What you are about to read are five core elements that are practical and replicate-able in your home. When practically applied, these ideas can have a transformative effect on those you want to influence the most. For some believers, the knowledge about the Bible far exceeds their ability to make it practical in their daily living, especially in their marriages.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/five-core-elements-of-a-healthy-marriage/
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You have heard the saying, different strokes for different folks, right? It is a practical perspective when it comes to assessing people because every person presents a unique opportunity to figure out so you can care for them according to who they are. This concept is where the Bible is so helpful. Paul had this type of masterful discernment. He could peek into a person’s life to understand them and then sculpt a discipleship construct to bring the needed care to that unique person.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/why-each-person-needs-care-according-to-their-uniqueness/
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Show Main Idea: Knowing how to ask the right questions to help people understand themselves while leading them to a better place in their situations and relationships is an essential discipleship gift. In this webinar, Rick does a deep-dive into questions asking. He does not give you ten questions that you can ask anyone but trains you how to discern a person's soul so you can customize your care to that unique individual.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-377-webinar-the-skill-of-asking-insightful-questions/
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Shows Main Idea – This particular episode is number ten from the Christianity Today podcast series, though it’s the thirteenth total episode in this long-form narrative about the rise and fall of Mars Hill Church. They title this episode “The Tempest” as Mike Cosper retells the final two-year of events that led to Mark Driscoll’s resignation.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-376-response-to-the-rise-and-fall-of-mars-hill-episode-13/
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A biblical counselor interviewed Rick Thomas about a situation he is counseling with parents who discovered their child is watching porn. The counselor asked questions that are in italics, with Rick’s responses underneath. The fictionalized, flattened version of the story is the dad came to the counselor asking for advice. He said his son has been sneaking out of bed, looking at porn on the computer, circumventing the protective software.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/you-just-caught-your-child-in-porn-what-are-you-to-do/
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Relatives can avoid each other and conflict because of their busy lives and lack of intentional interaction throughout the year. Then there are the holidays and those other special occasions. We must engage those we don’t usually hang with during these seasons and events. If our extended relationships are not strong, the season’s joy can turn into conflict quickly. Learning how to love them well, even during these brief encounters, is crucial.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/the-relatives-are-coming-the-relatives-are-coming-what-am-i-to-do/
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Show Main Idea: Being controlled by the opinion of other people is a problem every person struggles with to varying degrees. Biblically it is called fear of man. In this webinar, Rick does a deep dive into the issue and solutions. It's riveting, biblical, revealing, and practical. If you struggle with fear of man, peer pressure, insecurity, or self-censoring, you want to watch and learn how to submit yourself to the only opinion that should manage you.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-375-webinar-how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-others/
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As a former lonely man who dreaded the holidays, I know encouragement from a friend can make all the difference in the world. The holidays tend to amplify what we don’t have, and if a person is not relationally connected, this season intended for special memories becomes a nightmare to endure. Perhaps you can share your life with a struggling friend. Whom can you bless this holiday season?
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/no-thanks-for-thanksgiving/
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Show Main Idea: When deciding anything, you must be “in faith” regarding that decision before you move forward, which is why the most critical question you will ever ask yourself when making a decision is, “Am I ‘in faith’ to (insert the thing you’re thinking about doing)?” In this webinar, Rick delves into the granular decision-making process, discussing beliefs, a weak or hard conscience, fears, doubts, freedom, and other vital aspects to sound decision-making. This training is essential for every believer.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-374-webinar-how-to-make-a-decision-about-anything/
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Brandon Burlsworth was a below-average kid with no game plan for his life. But he believed in God and had an insatiable desire to play for the Arkansas Razorbacks football team. Brandon died eleven days after the Indianapolis Colts drafted him. Hollywood made a movie of his life. Rick talks to Marty Burlsworth about the stunning abbreviated life of his little brother.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-373-interview-with-marty-burlsworth-of-the-greater-movie-fame/
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Shows Main Idea – A pastor asked about an interview with Wayne Grudem and the “Quick to Listen” podcast crew from Christianity Today where Wayne talked about his newly discovered third reason for divorce, which is in abuse cases. I produced a video response for this pastor, which you may watch in these Show Notes or on our Rumble or YouTube channels. You may also listen to the podcast version.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-372-critical-response-to-grudems-new-view-on-abuse-and-divorce/
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Halloween, from a degree of difficulty perspective, is the most challenging of all our holidays. A few days out of each October, we must give a little mental energy to this tradition. The good news is that this makes Halloween no different from any other thing in your life. It is just another discipleship opportunity—a privilege the Lord gives you to bring a fitting response to this annual interruption. God does not leave you alone.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/a-biblical-response-to-halloween/
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You have no choice about being dysfunctional. We’re all broken in different ways. Even on our best days, imperfections show through like a stain under the white paint. Our collective fallenness is why the local church is so fabulous. It’s the place where you can be your authentic self. I’m not making a case for sinning your brains out, but when you do, you’re in a safe place to find the help you need.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/the-perfect-place-to-be-dysfunctional/
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Shows Main Idea – I had the privilege of interviewing wrestling legend Nikita Koloff one of my childhood heroes. The Lord mercifully saved Nikita shortly after the conclusion of his wrestling career. Nikita talks about his career, the death of his wife, how he came to Christ, and the beautiful narrative the Lord has been writing in his life.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-371-interview-with-professional-wrestler-nikita-koloff/
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Shows Main Idea – Sexual abuse is one of the worst things that could happen to anyone. It’s worse when it occurs in the church because of the assumed protection and safety among God’s people. You want to respond appropriately to the abused, abuser, and the local body when it does happen. Here are a few practical considerations.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-370-a-practical-response-to-sexual-abuse-in-the-church/
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Self-reliance is the self-deceiving and isolating process of trying to be stronger and stronger while resisting the help of other people, especially help from the Lord. It is a sinful desire to build a lifestyle and reputation that releases a person from trusting God. The self-reliant person lives in a fantasy world. It is not real-world because it is an impossible feat to achieve. In this webinar, Rick presents the self-reliant worship structure, dismantles it, and provides a practical gospel-centered solution that teaches you how to rely on God.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-369-webinar-how-to-dismantle-self-reliance-and-overcome-unbelief/
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Shows Main Idea – There is a thin line between standing for God and falling into pride. The determining factors are a person’s character and how they use the gifts God has given to them. If a person’s character is wrong, they will manipulate their talents to satiate their craving hearts. The believer with a gospel-saturated character will resist pride’s temptations and love God and others more than anything else.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-368-response-to-the-rise-and-fall-of-mars-hill-episode-12/
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Shows Main Idea – Because of my former relationship with Sovereign Grace Ministries, now Sovereign Grace Churches, people come to me asking for my take on that organization. They are frequently asking because they are in a Sovereign Grace church or are thinking about attending or leaving one.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-367-is-it-wise-for-me-to-attend-a-sovereign-grace-church/
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One-to-one interaction is the most efficient way to help another person change. For too many believers, discipleship in a community, in the context of a local church, is not the norm. Favorite books and preachers become our disciplers, which is not God’s best no matter how wonderful the celebrity preacher or your favorite book is. Nothing displaces a competent, caring friend, who can exegete you with God’s Word in a customizable way.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/a-crazy-idea-for-sanctification-the-local-church/
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Some relationships can become so painful that you must retreat while implementing self-protective measures to prevent being hurt again. The unintended consequence is that the strategies for protection can imprison you, which is what happened to Mable. Her husband was harming her so she did what any of us would do. In time, her fortress became her prison.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/when-the-thing-that-protects-you-becomes-your-prison/
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Sometimes stereotypical counseling can get in the way of what you want to do with an individual, especially when the counselee has a preconceived, pessimistic instinct about what might happen. You’ll see this with some teenagers because they sense a three against one setup—parents and counselor versus the teen. Knowing how to predict this possibility and customizing your care accordingly is essential.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/you-must-know-this-before-you-counsel-a-teen/
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Show Main Idea: There is a full-on culture war as social evangelists try to persuade, intimidate, censor, and influence anyone to their worldview. It’s no longer acceptable for conservatives to sit on the sidelines, siloing, hoping for a better day. Silo Christianity is when believers draw lines that separate themselves from those in the culture who need the gospel. They critique the other side but do not engage them. Jesus has called us to go and make disciples.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-366-webinar-engaging-the-culture-bringing-jesus-to-the-world/
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Shows Main Idea – Is it wrong for a church to have multiple campuses? What about one preacher who preaches video messages to several locations? In this episode of the Christianity Today podcast series, The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill, Mike Cosper shares the motive and method of Mark Driscoll’s desire to share the gospel globally.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-365-response-to-the-rise-and-fall-of-mars-hill-episode-11/
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Shows Main Idea – Making a decision that you hope won't end with disappointment is a tedious task. How can you ensure there is no future disappointment after you take the plunge? You do due diligence; you follow sound advice, but it leads you into hard times. Should you not have listened? How should you respond when life goes sideways after you take the advice of someone and do due diligence?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-364-how-can-you-know-your-decisions-wont-disappoint-you/
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Sometimes in life, you have to get in a conflict with someone. This dreaded reality is not a wish, desire, or prayer request but rather a common-sense perspective that comes with living in a sin-cursed world. It is impossible to have two humans living close to each other for an extended period and not have relational conflict. Sin does not accommodate our desires for peace or a hope for the path of least resistance.
Watch Webinar: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-363-webinar-pursuing-conflict-for-unitys-sake/
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Spiritual dullness in a community of Christlike disciple-makers is hard to imagine, but it happens all the time. We can lull ourselves to sleep, lose our gospel edge, and before long, we are ticking the Christian boxes without thinking. If the practice continues, we will replace the meat we enjoyed with the milk of our former newborn babe life. The solution is to surround yourself with those who have a vision and plan to spur you to love and good works within a reciprocating community.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/how-to-resist-the-incremental-reality-of-becoming-a-dull-believer/
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Sometimes the words we share when our friends are hurting are not the best things we should say. Saying the wrong thing is easy to do, which is why I’m sharing these seven ideas to help you navigate these challenging times with your suffering friends. You will not succumb to inhibiting fear that prohibits communication as you apply this teaching, and your friends will appreciate your proactive care.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/seven-tips-to-help-your-friends-who-are-going-through-suffering/
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One of the most important questions you’ll ask when looking for a new church is the pastor leading the local church. What best describes your pastor? How does he affect others? Can he care for your soul? Finding a pastor is a tedious process that can even be daunting at times. Ensuring the proper leader leads the community is of utmost importance because he determines everything that flows from that local body.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/what-do-you-look-for-in-a-pastor/
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Shows Main Idea – What would you do if Mark Driscoll was your pastor? You decide to stay in the church, but you’re opposed to the language, bullying, manipulation, and narcissism. How would you respond? Would you self-censor? Would you seek to be part of a redemptive effort to make a difference? Responding the right way to authoritarians is the topic of this episode from the Christianity Today podcast series, The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-362-response-to-the-rise-and-fall-of-mars-hill-episode-10/
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Shows Main Idea – Mike Cosper opened this episode by talking about the Cottingley Fairies found in five photographs taken by Elsie Wright and Frances Griffiths in 1918. In 1984, Elsie said the photos were fake, and Frances said people wanted to believe in them. This Christianity Today podcast episode about The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill discusses our need to believe in someone and a leader’s sinful desire to get us to believe in him.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-361-response-to-the-rise-and-fall-of-mars-hill-episode-9/
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Shows Main Idea – This episode of the Christianity Today (CT) podcast series, The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill, is an interview with Josh Harris, the former “Christian” who wrote I Kissed Dating Goodbye. It’s an odd digression from the straight line Christianity Today had been running about what went wrong with Mars Hill.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-360-response-to-the-rise-and-fall-of-mars-hill-episode-8/
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Shows Main Idea – In this episode of The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill from Christianity Today, the primary talking point is the church’s leadership. Should you have a group of leaders or one man at the top. In the case of Mars Hill, they began with a plurality that led them to its heights only to morph into the lead guy, which began the descent and ultimate fall of Mars Hill Church.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-359-response-to-the-rise-and-fall-of-mars-hill-episode-7/
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Shows Main Idea – This sixth edition of Christianity Today’s podcast series, The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill, discusses the brand and how to promote yourself to become somebody. Then Mike Cosper shared how Mark Driscoll associated himself with the gospel community to spread his fame globally. Mark had a gifted team who knew how to build an analytically smart, algorithmic, cyber-preacher. And once they established his fame in the stratosphere, the Christian celebrities and organizations would not ignore him.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-358-response-to-the-rise-and-fall-of-mars-hill-episode-6/
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All of us are victims. Adam dealt us a death blow. And to complicate matters, we’re also blameworthy. We are guilty victims or victim sinners. It’s not a comfortable thought, but it’s an accurate one. Everyone practically possesses these two polarizing truths. The more significant issue is not what we have done wrong, but what will we do about it? If you’re ready to focus on how you can change, I have some terrific news for you: it can happen today! Here are a few thoughts for the serious-minded person who wants to change their lives.
Read Article: https://rickthomas.net/how-a-teen-can-react-when-stuck-in-the-cyclic-effect-of-victimhood/
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Shows Main Idea – This review of episode five in The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill podcast series begins with a warning similar to the last episode about prescreening it before listening to it with others. This episode is not just gross, but it could cause a woman to lapse to a horrible time in her past if she has gone through a manipulating and inappropriately physical interaction with a man. Please use caution before you recommend this episode.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-357-response-to-the-rise-and-fall-of-mars-hill-episode-5/
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Shows Main Idea – This review is of episode four in the Christianity Today series, The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill. CT warns the listeners that you may want to prescreen this episode due to the sexual nature and language. It is a gross episode—the first half—that may leave you feeling dirty after hearing it. The key idea is, why was the message so popular when the messenger was so flawed?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-356-response-to-the-rise-and-fall-of-mars-hill-episode-4/
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Shows Main Idea – In this podcast, I’m reviewing the third episode in the series from Christianity Today called, The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill, the church planted and led by Mark Driscoll. The title of this episode is “You Read Your Bible, Ringo?” My purpose in these reviews is not to restate what CT said about Mars Hill or Mark Driscoll but to learn from those things to be a better Christian.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-355-response-to-the-rise-and-fall-of-mars-hill-episode-3/
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Shows Main Idea – Christianity Today (CT) put together a multi-episode podcast series that chronicles the story of Mars Hill Church (MH) led by Mark Driscoll. The church was planted in 1996 and dissolved in 2014. At its height, they had 15,000+ attendees/members from fifteen campuses. CT has produced this podcast series for the encouragement and admonition of the body of Christ. I will review each episode, not repeating the information in the podcasts, but hoping to put forth insights that we can apply to our lives and church cultures. This podcast reviews episode two.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-354-response-to-the-rise-and-fall-of-mars-hill-episode-2/
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Shows Main Idea – Christianity Today (CT) put together a multi-episode that chronicles the story of Mars Hill Church led by Mark Driscoll. At its height, they had 15,000+ attendees/members from fifteen campuses. The church dissolved in 2014. CT has produced this series for the encouragement and admonition of the body of Christ. I will review each episode, not repeating the information in the podcasts, but hoping to put forth insights that we can apply to our lives and church culture.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-353-the-rise-and-fall-of-mars-hill-episode-1-response/
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All Christians have one common problem that sits foundationally at the core of their being; it is the biggest struggle in their lives. It makes sense, right? If each person’s mightiest battle were unique to them and dissimilar to everyone else, you’d have to be omniscient in your soul care endeavors. Mercifully, we all trace back to one man, and from him comes our universal struggle. It’s excellent news.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/the-number-one-all-time-counseling-problem-ever/
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Shows Main Idea – On August 8, Rick began experiencing what he would learn later to be COVID symptoms. Two weeks later, the doctors affirmed COVID, and he has been on bedrest and doctor's care since that time. Rick is out of quarantine, is not contagious, and is on the road to recovery. In this podcast, Rick walks through what happened, his experience with the flu, and where he is currently.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-352-update-about-ricks-covid-journey-healing-and-future-plans/
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The whole world is at war. It’s a war between good and evil—as always. Some of the skirmishes are between military combatants, but the purpose of this piece is not between those warriors in the traditional theaters. I’m addressing those other warriors—specifically, those who have never been to war but have benefited from our most significant battles. I’m speaking to you and me. We have an adversary; he is the devil. He desires to devour us. The irony of our modern-day war is that it has come to us in the most innocuous of ways: should you take the vaccine or not?
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/whats-the-big-deal-with-you-get-the-vaccine-already/
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Shows Main Idea – Abuse cases continue to rise in the world and evangelical church. Christians are not impervious to the disastrous effects of abuse or the mishandling of abuse cases. Every week our ministry hears a story or receives a request from the abused, the accused, pastors, and biblical counselors. The noise is loud, and the division between Christians continues to rise. In this episode, I will speak to some of the complicating issues.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-351-why-most-biblical-counselors-should-not-take-on-abuse-cases/
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Show Main Idea: Is there someone in your life with whom you have conflict? Stated differently, who bothers you? Has someone done something that has brought friction into your relationship with them? What if you flipped the question around: have you done something to someone that has caused friction? Did you know that you have no other choice but to resolve this problem? In this webinar, I will make a strong appeal to do all you can to reconcile with a fellow believer.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-350-webinar-you-have-no-choice-but-to-resolve-conflict/
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Shows Main Idea – We’re nearing the end of 35 out of 40 days on the road, mainly in the midwest. In this episode, Rick shares highlights and interesting perceptions from traveling, speaking, and engaging with the body of Christ in the midwest. You will find much encouragement from these interactions.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-349-overview-of-how-we-help-local-churches-practically-speaking/
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Show Main Idea: If you do not have a working definition of sympathy and empathy and, more vitally, a practical application of them, you may do much harm to those who need your care the most. This presentation is an exploration of clearing up the ambiguity between sympathy and empathy.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-348-sympathy-and-empathy-you-need-to-know-this/
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Show Main Idea: During our 27-day speaking tour in Colorado, one of the more typical questions folks asked me was about the trans issue. Part of the reason for the concerns is that I did speak on transgenderism during the FaithPoint conference. During our Monument, Colorado meeting, someone asked how to respond when the church wants to accommodate a trans kid in children’s ministry. Here is how I responded.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-347-how-to-respond-when-the-church-accommodates-trans-people/
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Show Main Idea: In 1975, there was a regrettable incident that took place on the ice during an NHL game. Boston Bruin Dave Forbes struck his Minnesota North Star competitor (Henry Boucha) in the eye, causing prolonged damage. Forbes was the first professional athlete taken to court for actions during the game. Through a series of providential circumstances, Dave reconciled with his former adversary forty-five years later. Listen as he tells this stunning story of God's grace.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-346-stunning-story-of-nhl-player-reconciling-with-a-competitor/
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Transgenderism is part of a cultural and political avalanche in our country—this contagion coincides with social justice, identity politics, woke-ness, intersectionality, racism, and more. In this talk, I will break down the salient elements of the trans issue while offering practical help to engage our culture from a biblical worldview and hope-filled solutions.
Show Notes:
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Shows Main Idea – During Rick's conference at FaithPoint Church in Longmont, Colorado, there was a question and answer session in which Lucia participated, too. They answered many questions that were written during the meetings as well as those who asked at the Q&A. Rick was not able to answer all the questions due to not having enough time, so he's answering the remainder in this podcast: what is pangender, what if someone does not forgive, and where does the Bible say transgender is a sin?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-344-the-bible-does-not-say-transgenderism-is-a-sin-right/
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Shows Main Idea – Transgenderism is part of a cultural and political avalanche in our country—this contagion coincides with social justice, identity politics, woke-ness, intersectionality, racism, and more. In this talk, I will break down the salient elements of the trans issue while offering practical help to engage our culture from a biblical worldview and hope-filled solutions.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-343-transgenderism-worldview-i-think-therefore-i-am/
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How do your attitudes, words, and actions move people? Our behavior motivates people in one direction or the other. We are pushing people toward Christ or away from Him. We’re not responsible for their choices, but we are vital secondary actors who must always think about how we can cooperate with the Lord in His good work in peoples’ lives.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/humbly-assessing-how-our-behaviors-may-push-others-away-from-christ/
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Shows Main Idea – Abuse is a complex problem that requires extensive training and skilled counselors to help bring these situations to God-glorifying conclusions. In this interview, Rick Thomas talks with Julie Ganschow about her new book, "A Biblical Counselor's Approach to Marital Abuse—Roadmap to Reunification."
Show Notes: Coming Soon
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Shows Main Idea: When someone shares with you a personal struggle, you want to help them think through the internal tensions that have created the external outcomes. The source of our personal struggles finds its root in our hearts. The first course of action is to identify these heart controllers so we know what to put off and how to renew our minds. Rick Thomas does a brilliant job leading you through these issues in this webinar, The Target of Change.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-341-webinar-examining-and-identifying-the-target-of-change/
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The sin that nobody wants to talk about is our penchant for pornography. If you want to silence a small group setting, bring up the topic of porn. It's uncomfortable because so many of our friends are addicted to it, and for many of us, sexual discussions are intimately personal. Regardless, we must talk about this silent spiritual killer.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/twelve-addictive-and-soul-capturing-reasons-men-enjoy-porn/
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Shows Main Idea – Conflict is inevitable. When you put two or more people together and make decisions, there will be disagreement. So how do you work through it? What if one of them sins? Rick has developed this well-thought-out mindmap that walks through church conflict when a pastor makes a decision and the church members disagree.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-340-how-to-respond-when-church-members-and-pastors-disagree/
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Shows Main Idea: Rick answers two questions in this episode. First, what is the difference between Christian counseling and biblical counseling? And do you have any updates on the International Association of Biblical Counselors (IABC) debacle from 2018? Understanding counseling and counseling movements are vital because those who practice counseling are at the highest end of soul care.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-339-what-is-the-difference-between-christian-and-biblical-counseling/
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All of our sin patterns are rooted in our practical theology, at the level of our hearts, rather than in the behavioral patterns of our perceived problems. In this webinar, Rick takes you on a deep dive inside our idol factories, teaching you how to identify the ruling motives of your heart. If you determine the actual ruling motive of the heart, you’re at the starting place in the discipleship/change process.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-338-webinar-how-to-identify-ruling-motives-of-the-heart/
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Apart from your profession of faith, what is the supporting evidence you have that demonstrates that you are a Christian (John 3:7)? It's a bold question, I know. But wouldn't it be worthwhile on this side of heaven to evaluate such a vital matter? While praying a prayer is essential to becoming a believer (Romans 10:9, 13), the more significant authentication is the evidence of a transformed life.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/four-essentials-that-authenticate-your-christianity/
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Shows Main Idea – A potential Mastermind student had some questions about our all online training. I asked her to ask those questions to our students. In this episode, four of our students share their perspectives about the program, the expectations, struggles, and benefits. If you're interested in our training, this podcast is essential as you do your due diligence.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-337-four-mastermind-students-share-their-program-experience/
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When a loved one dies, it's a painful experience for all those left behind. Indeed, we know "he is better off" if he's a believer, but what if he isn't or if you're unsure? In this episode, Rick retells the horrific death of his brother, how the Lord magnified Himself, and the process he went through regarding the end of life and eternity.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-336-a-very-personal-story-about-death-and-gods-goodness/
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The doctrine of repentance is the Christian's secret weapon because they are the only ones who can change from the inside out with true heart transformation that sustainably affects behaviors. Rick walks you through the thirteen steps to practical life change in this fantastic webinar, using stunning graphics to bring these truths alive.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-335-webinar-doctrine-of-repentance-christians-secret-weapon/
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This episode is part two about whether The Chosen TV series is a violation of the second commandment. Are you sinning if you watch The Chosen? Are you free to watch it? Do you support your arguments with precise exegesis of Exodus 20:4-6?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-334-does-watching-the-chosen-violate-the-second-commandment/
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The Chosen TV series is a wildly popular multi-part season about the lives of the apostles. Of course, Jesus is a central character in their lives. However, many believers have shared how they would not watch The Chosen because it breaks the second commandment in Exodus 20:4-6. In this episode, Rick discusses this tension with Barbi Blackert, who has many years of Christian production and drama experience.
Show Notes:
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Porn addiction is a ubiquitous problem in our culture, and the Christian community is not impervious to its seductive temptations. With the rise of social media, where the average child receives a phone at the age of eight, the possibility of porn's allurements is stronger than ever. In this insightful webinar, Rick walks through many aspects of porn while providing a practical path to freedom for the addicted and those who help them.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-333-webinar-porn-the-perplexities-and-the-possibilities/
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Shows Main Idea – This webinar helps you build better community life, whether in your marriage, family, church, or another relational milieu. Rick practically delves into Hebrews 10:19-25 and practicalizes it in such a way that you will benefit from biblically intrusive interactions with your friends. Thanks to the power of the gospel, you can lead your friends into a more in-depth experience with each other.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-332-webinar-the-benefit-of-being-intentionally-intrusive/
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Being a victim of anything is one of the most challenging circumstances for a hurting soul to negotiate. The journey out of the effects of victimization is long. Some contours will challenge the victim to the broadest expanse of their soul. Their ultimate goal is to become a victor in Christ, not a victim of sin. It’s not easy, but the good news is that there is a path forward.
Show Notes:
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Sometimes when some people hear the words “biblical counseling,” they think about a two-tier system within Christianity: those who can counsel and those who cannot. Suppose biblical counseling means that to you. Perhaps it would be wise to change your thinking. God has given every Christian the ability to care for others (Romans 15:14).
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/a-better-way-to-do-counseling/
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Though you never want to judge a person uncharitably, the wise person will spend time thinking about others, analyzing them, hoping to learn the kind of person they are. Our associations speak volumes about the type of people we are, so knowing who others are is of utmost importance. Do you know how to evaluate your friends?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-330-take-a-psychological-selfie-of-yourself-and-friends/
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Here is a simple parenting model you can immediately apply in your home. It flows out of two words in Paul’s parenting verse in Ephesians 6:4. Paul is urging dads to bring their children up in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord. Discipline and instruction are two different things, both having equal importance in a child’s life.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/a-simple-parenting-model-you-can-use-in-your-home/
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Have you ever been discouraged? Silly question, I know. You are human, and you have battled our discouraging foe. Finite people living in an uncontrollable, infinite world creates a formula that leads to despair. Throw sin into the mix, and discouragement is a guarantee. I suppose we should not be surprised things go wrong. Fallen people in a fallen world, so what do you expect? The “sin element” sends everything sideways. The result is that we become disappointed, discouraged, and sometimes when left unchecked, we can drift into depression.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-329-webinar-persevering-when-life-turns-you-upside-down/
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Shows Main Idea – Some people have been under so much bondage for so long that they learn to adapt to their harsh surroundings. It’s hard for them to think about a life of freedom. Even when freedom stares them in the face, they are hesitant about accepting it.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-328-why-some-people-prefer-bondage-over-freedom/
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When a person sees ministry strictly as something they do at a church building that is separate from the rest of their lives, it is a setup for all sorts of problems—personally and relationally. We must not dichotomize ministry because all of life is our ministry, a common-sense approach for living well with others while loving God supremely.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/what-is-christian-ministry-and-why-it-can-suck-the-life-out-of-you/
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Shows Main Idea – Sexual intimacy is one of the quickest indicators that reveal how a couple is doing in their marriage because it is the most physical and intimate thing they will do together. It is different from talking, dating, dinner, or a movie. Sex requires more. Sex demands more from two people. In this free webinar, Rick walks you through the origins, obstacles, and opportunities for biblical intimacy.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-327-webinar-physical-intimacy-origins-obstacles-opportunities/
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Julie Hansen has been working for our ministry since 2014. A few years ago, she was diagnosed with ALS. She continues to work for us because she loves this ministry, but her diminished capacity has limited her. But she needs our help. In this episode, I want to honor her while appealing to those who can assist the Hansen family during this season of crisis.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-326-julie-hansen-an-angel-sent-to-our-ministry/
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Your friend needs to change. How do you help her change? Maybe your husband is stuck in a bad habit, and you want him to change. What is your change process? Perhaps your wife is nagging and criticizing you. How are you helping her model a more gentle and caring spirit? Listen to this full webinar. You may click the Show Notes link to watch the video
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-325-webinar-the-most-powerful-way-to-help-someone-change/
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Shows Main Idea – My unspoken mission is to take the practical gospel of Christ to every human on the planet, which implies that I must extend the life of this ministry beyond my lifetime. In late 2020, we formed a team to start planning our legacy ministry: What do we need to do to continue this ministry after the Lord takes me home? I want to share with you where we are in that process.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-324-preparing-our-legacy-to-minister-to-the-next-generation/
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Shows Main Idea – The Christian community can no longer act as though the culture is out there, and they can leave us alone. The culture is in the church, dividing the body of Christ, and we must deal with it. One of the more divisive and emotional issues is the transgender problem. For example, if a man pretending to be a woman asks you to use their new female name, what would you do?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-323-should-you-call-a-boy-pretending-to-be-a-girl-a-girls-name/
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Shows Main Idea – When secondary goals—no matter how wonderful they are—become our primary aim for others, we will damage our relationships. In this webinar, Rick talks about the dangers of elevating expectations for others to change while presenting a better way to think about how to respond to those you love the most.
Show Notes:
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There are built-in dangers when we prefer risk-free superficial relationships over the risks of long-term friends fraught with disappointment. For example, I will hear a person talk about how they met a stranger, and within minutes they had an in-depth personal conversation with them. They glow about how easy and natural it was to talk to their new friend. Then they say, “And she was a perfect stranger!” This interaction is called the “stranger on the train” phenomenon. It’s similar to the lack of complexity in dating versus the rigors of marriage.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/why-are-superficial-friends-more-enjoyable-than-long-term-ones/
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Some stories are so bizarre that you can only respond with shock and unbelief. It breaks our categories and reinvents how we are supposed to think about God. It happens when we hear about a horrific event that is happening to someone. Then God interrupts our lives with something unsuspected and unwanted. Our minds race as we try to understand. It is so cruel, that it appears comically cruel.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/when-the-terrifying-call-of-god-on-our-lives-seems-comically-cruel/
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Shows Main Idea – The most authentic and best possible communication that you can have with someone is when you're sharing your most precious treasure with them, and they are reciprocating. Only Christians can have this depth of communication because you must be alive—not dead—in Christ to walk in this type of light, power, and gifts.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-320-how-to-enjoy-the-best-possible-communication-with-someone/
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A husband cannot lead well without understanding his wife. How would he know how to lead her if he did not know her, or take the time to understand her? Who would want to follow someone that did not care what you thought about them or where you were leading them? Leaders are always looking in two directions: where they are going while considering those who are following.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-319-a-key-to-a-husbands-leadership-is-awareness-of-those-following/
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Shows Main Idea – The best relationships are the messiest ones. At first glance, it sounds odd, right? How can good friendships be dirty? Because we’re fallen, broken people, and to live well with others requires getting into the muckiness of each others’ lives. If you’re interested in going beyond the superficial with others, read on. I have seventeen helpful tips that can transform your relationships. Let’s start here: “It is so hard to make friends at our church.” Rick has built a powerful, sharable webinar for you and your friends. You may listen to the audio version only or watch the full webinar!
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-318-watch-ricks-webinar-on-seventeen-relationship-building-tips/
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Trials and disappointment are two unexpected ways the Lord blesses our lives. It’s a challenging way to think, but you know it’s true to the Bible’s narrative. The tension is that in those times in our lives where circumstances mount to such a degree, we begin to doubt God’s active goodness on our behalf. These are typically situational or relational challenges where our confidence in God begins to wane. We lose our spiritual grip.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/a-rattled-confidence-during-disappointments-is-a-sign-it-is-from-god/
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Shows Main Idea – It’s time for the biblical counseling movement to rethink our assurances about how we train and continue to educate biblical counselors. The old, standard strategy is to provide training, have the student complete 50 hours of counseling reviewed remotely—typically—by a busy Fellow, and then grant the finisher of the training certification. This process is inadequate. Will we talk about our problem?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-317-the-false-assurance-of-knowing-something
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One of the many peculiarities of our over-psychologized age is our culture’s affinity for their various attempt to figure out personalities. The peculiarity is not so much with our culture’s fascination with the personality and human condition, as it is how the church has jumped in bed with our culture’s worldview by embracing their definitions, interpretations, and applications.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/take-the-worlds-greatest-personality-test-to-see-what-type-you-are/
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Shows Main Idea – Conflict is unavoidable when two or more people gather for ongoing interaction. Agreeing on everything is not possible nor demanded. Know how to work through relational conflict is vital. This mindmap presents a visual walk through how to handle conflict in the local church.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-316-a-visual-mindmap-walking-through-church-conflict/
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Shows Main Idea – Standing strong for conservative principles did not have a heavy price tag not so long ago. That day has passed. The Christian community is wrestling through the challenges of holding to our convictions, as we recognize that every decision has a financial, reputational, vocational, and educational impact. We're regressing to a former day in church history where decisions could cost your life.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-315-the-dangerous-challenge-for-standing-on-your-convictions-2/
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Have you ever been in a situation with a person who needed your help but could not receive your help because your baggage was so significant that it interfered with what you could have done for the person in need? I’m talking about your hangups getting in the way of helping a struggling soul. That’s what happened to me.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/irritated-over-what-a-person-does-will-keep-you-from-helping-them/
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Shows Main Idea – Understanding someone is more in-depth than understanding what is happening to a person. Too often, hurt people only want someone to understand them, so they feel affirmation and validation. This critical need is one of six things that make up biblical understanding. Rick talks about the courage and competence needed to understand a person the right way.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-314-it-takes-courage-to-understand-a-person-the-right-way/
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There is a heightened awareness of the gospel—the person and work of Jesus Christ—during Easter. Christians worldwide are celebrating what many consider to be the centerpiece of His work on earth. It is great news; He’s out of the grave! Now what? Christ risen indeed is simpler to celebrate than practically apply to our lives. What does gospel transformation practically mean to you?
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/he-is-risen-indeed-now-what/
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The more effectively you appropriate the death of Christ into your life, the more effectively you’ll be able to enjoy “a resurrection kind of Sunday” every day of the year. The key is knowing that your resurrection will only come after your death, which is a daily process.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/to-live-the-resurrected-life-you-must-die-to-yourself/
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The resurrected Christian is a different kind of person—someone the world has never seen outside our community. The Christian is as diverse as darkness and light, death and life. For some Christians, their new birth’s authentic reality is challenging to practicalize in their day-to-day lives. The cross of Christ settled our eternal sin problem with a holy God, while the resurrection of Christ opened a new and better way for us to live with Him forever.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/are-you-a-tomb-dweller-or-a-resurrected-christian/
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How many reasons can you think of as to why this is a mind-blowing Easter? Easter Sunday is the best day of the year for all Christians around the world. It would be a great exercise to list why you think it’s so. Will you tell the Lord, share them with a friend, and be amazed all over again.
Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/ten-reasons-this-is-a-mind-blowing-easter/
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Shows Main Idea – At the request of one of our supporters, I have been producing a few podcasts on the cancel culture. She’s not the only one. Every caring Christian has concerns for what is happening in our society, specifically, the cancel culture. In response to those who want to know how to respond, here are ten helpful ideas when speaking against the progressive left.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-313-10-helpful-ideas-when-speaking-against-the-cancel-culture/
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Shows Main Idea – The cancel culture is a leaderless mob of like-minded activists who use manipulative tactics to browbeat everyone else into conforming to their dictates. Because there is no leader, it makes it hard to push against them. It’s an idea, worldview, presupposition, or concept that anyone may use to attack those who are not like them. Understanding this culture is imperative, and knowing how to combat it is essential.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-312-a-cancel-culture-manipulates-everyone-to-see-things-as-they-do/
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Shows Main Idea – Every evil event perpetrated by a white person on a non-white person is racism. Do you believe that statement? If you do, there is something wrong with how you think about wicked acts. If you stamp evil from white people on non-white people, you're doing worse than just misinterpreting and miscommunication wickedness. The Atlanta murder story is a case in point.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-311-racism-is-not-the-most-plausible-way-to-think-about-the-atlanta-murders/
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Shows Main Idea – What is the cancel culture? How does it happen, and possibly more importantly, what can we do about it? Canceling out others has reached pandemic proportions, and it’s no longer the entertainment and media elites as its prey. They are coming for us, too. This anti-God mindset is not new. Did you know the cancel culture began in Genesis 3:6? Today’s version is the latest iteration of an old strategy.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-310-mix-power-with-disdain-for-others-you-get-cancel-culture/
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Shows Main Idea – When you have a burden for a ministry in your church that is at odds with your church's leadership's vision for that local body, how should you proceed? Perhaps you see "doing church" differently, but your leaders do not hold your perspectives. They are humble and want to support you, but there is a conflict of vision. How should you proceed? When should you stay or leave? Is it possible to have a personal ministry in a church that does see things the same way?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-309-could-i-start-a-ministry-in-a-church-with-a-different-vision/
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Shows Main Idea – What do truth, contentment, relationships, and submission have in common? Recently, Rick shared these ideas with a few of his Mastermind Students. Then he put those thoughts in four short videos. This podcast is the audio version of those vitally relevant talks on living well with God and others in His world.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-308-four-talks-on-truth-contentment-relationships-and-submission/
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I received this email from someone. "My husband is abusive. He followed you and sent so many articles from you to me, showing how I needed to change. I know you don't like the word abuse, so let's call him a narcissist." (Edited) I have several things to say in response.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-307-stop-using-my-resources-to-make-a-person-conform-2/
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Shows Main Idea – The history of the church in America has not had anything like what is happening from the culture and politics. The Equality Act, for example, is one of those direct hits. It is not about equality but about censoring and criminalizing the church. I have been asking the Lord to help our pastors think well about responding to these things as they lead their folks. Pastors are the first line of attack on the church.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-306-the-pain-points-of-pastoring-in-a-hostile-chaotic-culture/
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Shows Main Idea – If we don't change from the inside out, whatever transformation happens will not endure. Life-change occurs when our hearts go under the transforming influence of Jesus Christ. But what if you don't know how to do that as a new believer. Most fresh converts to Christ do not know how to change from the inside out, so they do the next best thing—exterior modifications to their lives.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-305-it-makes-perfect-sense-why-a-person-practices-behavioral-modification/
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Shows Main Idea – Rick Thomas talks to Dr. Jenn Chen about her experience as a secular psychologist, why she became a certified biblical counselor, and the superiority of biblical counseling. Jenn's journey is a beautiful encouragement for anyone who struggles with the sufficiency of Scripture. She has been on both sides of the soul-care fence and is a strong advocate for the Bible's sufficiency.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-303-a-clinical-psychologist-becomes-a-biblical-counselor/
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Shows Main Idea – The last couple of years for the church have been the equivalent of a shaken snowglobe—continuously. The tumbling has been unabated, and many in the Christian community are worn, despairing, and frustrated. One of the hot button issues at the epicenter of our complaint is an inability to assemble in our weekly church contexts. In this episode, I respond to the question, are we forsaking the assembly according to Hebrews 10:25?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-304-do-zoom-church-meetings-mean-youre-forsaking-the-assembly/
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Will you give me a biblical perspective on when our freedoms described in our Constitution (which I believe are God-inspired) are under attack? Should we or should we not defend them? Granted, men wrote the Constitution, but I think under the influence of God's direction. It has proven to be very beneficial for the world in many ways. We have established laws. Are we to just let the government tear them up? It's a real struggle for me to give a perfect and correct answer. Thanks. – Mark
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-302-should-we-passively-watch-our-constitution-erode/
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Shows Main Idea – We have changed our Mastermind Program to three phases of training so any student will have a better training experience that adapts to who God has made them to be, how to best use their unique gifts, and to discover how the Lord can the student most effectively in His world. This episode is a question and answer session with Rick and some of his current Mastermind students in the program.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-301-explanation-of-our-three-phase-mastermind-training/
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Shows Main Idea – In this episode, Rick walks you through the four-point leadership assessment process that he implements to help his students identify their strengths and weaknesses while giving them an idea of how they can best serve God in their communities. These four concepts apply to all Christians, including your children, as it gives you a leadership template for understanding and helping them mature in Christ.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-300-a-four-point-leadership-analysis-to-evaluate-yourself/
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You're on a church staff or part of a church's leadership team. You become aware of a fellow leader in known sin. How are you to help him? What are some things you should consider with a brother or sister who is in a trap? How can you emulate Paul's teaching in Galatians 6:1-2 practically to restore such a person? In this episode, Rick shares some helpful to a struggling leader.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-299-how-to-interact-with-a-pastor-with-known-sin/
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Shows Main Idea – We started our Mastermind Program in 2010. It has gone through many changes because, like our individual sanctification, we're always learning, growing, and maturing. In this episode, I explain our most recent changes, the reasons we are making them, and why it might be the right time for you to jump into this world-class, discipleship, counselor training. The start date for these new changes is set for Spring 2021.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-298-rethinking-reworking-relaunching-our-mastermind-program
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Shows Main Idea – Forgiveness is a multifaceted opportunity for two people to reconcile after there is a transgression. Because of the complexity of sin and the complications of some relationships, it’s not always straightforward. Each person must work hard to understand biblical forgiveness and do all they can to reconcile when sin divides two people. In this episode, I respond to a questioner that is asking for clarity about forgiveness.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-297-knowing-how-to-live-out-practical-forgiveness-is-essential
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Shows Main Idea – A friend asked me for advice on helping someone who has gone through some deep hurts in her life. The horrific events were patterns, not an isolated episode. When assisting a hurting person, you must marshall many biblical helpers because of the long-term care needed. Our cyber-ministry cannot be the primary care, but it is superb supplemental help. This episode provides a practical way that our ministry can serve you as you serve the walking wounded.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-296-some-practical-advice-for-those-struggling-with-deep-hurts/
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Shows Main Idea – I have a new Christian friend who is interested in Bible reading plans. He has so many questions about God, life, and the Bible. It’s refreshing! What do you think would be an excellent Bible, reading plans, apps, and other things you would recommend for a young believer? – Ministry Donor
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-295-thoughts-on-bible-plans-studies-memorization-and-more/
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Shows Main Idea – A friend asked Rick for the best way to start a ministry like his. She was inspired to share the practical gospel with a hurting world. The current cultural and political climate is what's motivating her. She's been following our ministry for a while and asked how to take advantage of technology's redemptive use to affect lives.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-294-what-is-the-best-way-to-start-a-ministry-similar-to-yours/
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Rick met with a young couple for pre-marriage counseling recently, and the man asked him for the top things they needed to know to have a great marriage. He shared three things with this couple. After the counseling session, he turned on his mic and shared them because they are vital for any couple who wants a lasting marriage. As you listen, please take advantage of the supplemental resources in these Show Notes, which further explain and teach how to apply these ideas to your marriage.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-293-three-things-a-couple-should-know-for-a-lasting-marriage
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Shows Main Idea – At the end of The Hope Conference in Sarasota, Florida, Rick Thomas and Daniel Berger answered several of the attendees’ questions. During the conference, folks placed their questions in boxes, which they collected at the end. They could not answer all of them, but this episode provides many of their biblically-based, well-thought-out responses to everyday, practical issues that are vital to all of us. Rick and Daniel plan to answer the other questions in future Life Over Coffee with Rick Thomas and Daniel Berger video episodes.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-292-rick-and-daniel-doing-q-a-from-the-hope-conference/
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Shows Main Idea – We went to Sarasota, Florida, January 13-17, 2021, to co-teach with Dr. Daniel Berger. This episode gives you a behind the scenes look at our itinerary and other tidbits about our trip. This conference was the first one since we were in Idaho in August 2021. Due to COVID restrictions, churches canceled and rescheduled our meetings. Please enjoy the brief synopsis of this excellent conference.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-291-a-behind-the-scenes-oral-narrative-of-the-hope-conference/
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This moment in American history is one of the best opportunities for Christians to make a difference. In the past, we operated in an 18% gray world that was neither hot nor cold. Today, it's darker than at any time in our lives. The darker the night, the brighter the light. This moment is our time, but the disappointment is too deep for too many of our brothers and sisters, and their frustration is too intense.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-290-learning-how-to-respond-to-a-world-you-dont-like-anymore
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Shows Main Idea – What are you to do with unconfessed past sins against your spouse? What are the questions you want to ask if you were helping someone who wants to come clean? In this episode, Biff sinned against Mable years ago, and after keeping it a secret, he wants to confess. Why should he? Why should he not? How will you lead Biff through this common marital dilemma?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-289-what-is-the-best-way-to-handle-secret-marriage-sins/
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Shows Main Idea – It’s common for folks to think they are a bother to someone when they need help. This kind of thinking is problematic in the body of Christ. I’m not sure how to change that mindset since so many folks say it. They assume the person is busy, and they don’t want to “bother” them. Though I appreciate the show of respect and kindness to whatever may be happening in the discipler’s life, that perspective is counter-productive to the Christian mandate to make disciples.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-288-its-time-to-start-bothering-people-for-your-good/
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Shows Main Idea – Lucia and I were meeting with a couple, and the conversation centered on the idea of confession. I shared some things with them to help as they continue to grow in loving each other well. At one point, the wife said she had not considered how confession and repentance require two willing parties. She only thought of the offender’s responsibility, not the offended’s. This episode is some of the things I shared with them, specifically about confession.
https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-287-considering-the-curious-contours-of-confession/
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Shows Main Idea – In this episode, Rick answers several questions from our community. There are Mastermind questions, plus how not to feel like a failure after an unwanted divorce, how to react to a narcissist who lies about you, working through PTSD, and some practical pointers for overcoming grief.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-286-how-do-you-live-with-a-narcissist-who-accuses/
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Shows Main Idea – When your child begins to embrace a worldview from the culture, there are a few things you want to assess as you talk to your child. There is a full-on culture war, as they are trying to persuade, intimidate, censor, and influence the public to their worldview. It’s no longer acceptable for conservatives to sit on the sidelines because the war is real.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-285-fighting-the-culture-war-for-the-sake-of-our-children/
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Shows Main Idea – Transgenerism is a small percentage of people. Still, it's an ideology that sits on top of a humungous iceberg designed to fracture the culture, destroy conservative views, and promote ideas that are blatantly against God and His Word. Not seeing and understanding this problem while not redemptively reacting to it is not an option for us any longer. We must educate ourselves while mobilizing to turn back the tide in these culture wars.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-284-the-transgender-problem-is-the-tip-of-a-larger-iceberg/
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Shows Main Idea – One of the things that I talk about in our Mastermind program is how there is no passing or failing: how traditional education and training work. Appealing for a good grade could be one of the worst things we could do for our students. We’re developing leaders, which is more than making sure they have the right information. In addition to their competence, we assess and help them in areas of character, compassion, and courage.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-283-why-our-counselor-training-program-is-unlike-any-other/
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Shows Main Idea – Social media platforms are not interested in selling your information. They intend to get you addicted to their platforms, so you stay on them longer. They call you a user, which is the language of addiction. How aware are you of what Silicon Valley is doing to you, and what are you doing about it?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-282-social-dilemma-what-social-media-is-doing-to-you/
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Shows Main Idea – EMDR is Eye-Movement Desensitization Reprocessing Therapy. Though it has been around for decades, it has gained a lot of momentum within Christian circles the past few years. It’s a common question that comes to our ministry. In this episode, Rick explains what it is, does it work, and how Christians should view this soul care method.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-281-emdr-eye-movement-desensitization-reprocessing-therapy/
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Shows Main Idea – I was listening to a Dennis Prager show, and someone asked him if he could go back to his twenties, what would he do differently. I started reflecting on that question, and though I don’t live in guilt and regret, it was helpful to think about a few things I would do differently.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-280-a-few-things-i-would-do-if-i-could-go-back/
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Shows Main Idea – There are always two guilty people in any relationship problem. One could be “more guilty” than the other, but neither of them operated flawlessly during their relationship. If you’re not honest about what happened between them, you will not have a chance for proper reconciliation.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-279-the-problem-with-overly-blaming-men-for-relationship-problem/
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Shows Main Idea – There are many sides to all of us. If any of us were under the scrutiny that President Donald Trump has been under the past four years, none of us would fair too well. There are things that we do exceptionally, and there are other areas that need improvement. In this episode, I share my opinion on a few vital metrics about Donald Trump.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-278-an-interpretation-of-the-political-and-personal-life-of-donald-trump/
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Shows Main Idea – Our culture has lost respect for each other and proper authorities. They did not just become this way as young adults but received early training from childhood because too many parents gave up their responsibility to train a child to honor and respect others. The children lost their way because the parents lost their way first. You don’t have to do this to your children. There is a path to respect, honor, and appreciation for authority.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-277-people-who-do-not-respect-others-were-trained-to-be-this-way/
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Shows Main Idea – When it comes to correcting others, we are all over the map. We can do it harshly. We may choose to do it behind their backs. Others decide to cave to their insecurities, daring not to bring up the tough conversation. Perhaps you shouldn’t, but you must understand and practice the sequential steps for correcting others if you do correct someone.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-276-ten-sequential-and-vital-steps-when-correcting-someone/
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Shows Main Idea – How would you counsel a lady with a passive husband, who shows her a lack of interest? It has been going on for decades. She presents her case to you, and it’s your opportunity to walk her through her disappointment. This case study is an actual assignment for our Mastermind Students. Enter our classroom. Get a sneak peek behind the curtain of our training as you read an actual report to one of our students.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-275-counseling-the-imposters-wife-a-students-case-study/
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Shows Main Idea – Biff and Mable are in conflict again. Biff wants to buy Mable a car, and Mable does not want a car. One of the most typical disputes between couples is when one partner wants to do something, and the other does not. In this episode, Rick uses a common-life example of buying a car to clarify how to work through decision-making.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-274-common-sense-tips-for-solving-marriage-disputes/
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Jay Adams is the father of the biblical counseling movement. Every person who does biblical counseling today owes a debt of gratitude to Jay. He was the person the Lord chose to raise the flag of discipleship practices in the modern church. I had a few interactions with him, which I share in this episode and some thoughts about his memorial service.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-273-a-few-thoughts-about-my-history-with-jay-adams/
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All of us have transgressed God’s moral law. For different reasons, some of these folks live in the victimhood of the sinful choices they made. They are unable to understand how God can use their sin sinlessly. In essence, they see what they did as more controlling, powerful, and narrative-influencing than God’s ability to transcend or circumvent their sinful actions. It’s a confusion and conflation of God’s decreed will with His moral will. Biff was one of these people.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-272-how-to-navigate-gods-decreed-will-moral-will-and-messy-will/
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Shows Main Idea – You have an adult child. Let’s say the child is 25-years old and wants to leave their childhood home to live independently. Is it okay for them to do so? What are some of the dynamics you would like to explore when working toward making this decision? In this episode, Rick explores this case study—a question that a Mastermind Student asked.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-271-is-it-okay-for-an-adult-child-to-live-on-their-own/
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Shows Main Idea – We live in three worlds today, or perhaps it would be better to say that there are three cultures. There is the Christian culture, which is a sub-set of the larger one. The larger one divides in half: some are conservative, generally speaking, and the other is against traditional conservative values. In this episode, Rick challenges you to make some practical decisions about your alliances to maintain a vibrant Christian impact on our culture and world. You can no longer be passive about cultural dynamics.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-270-non-traditional-ways-to-mobilize-to-make-a-difference/
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Shows Main Idea – Daniel Berger and Rick Thomas collaborated to build a mind map that depicts the ADHD construct. The mindmap presents the two competing worldviews that speak into real behavior. This conversation and the visual map is vital for any parent, counselor, or friend who wants to help a child with behavioral issues.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-267-daniel-berger-and-rick-thomas-bring-analysis-to-the-adhd-construct/
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Shows Main Idea – President Trump is like great light that highlights all the evil and perspectives of every soul in our country. He is one of the most intriguing people that I have ever known—from a distance. When people talk about him, they cannot hide the ball—their sin or opinions. He has that effect on us. I’m not saying this personality feature is good or bad. I’m merely making a supportable commentary.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-268-trump-is-the-heat-that-exposes-what-was-previously-hidden/
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Shows Main Idea – I recently posted a few concerns about the Duluth Model Power and Control Wheel in response to a biblical counselor who asked. This biblical counselor was okay with the critique and shared similar concerns. I then posted my concerns on the private Facebook group that our ministry makes available to anyone interested in biblical counseling. Someone shared my views on another group in which their reactions were instructive.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-266-when-biblical-counselors-dont-act-like-biblical-counselors/
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A person with a bad habit needs a clear path to freedom. The first part of this process is a rational worldview that lays a foundation for the practical application that flows out of that worldview. If you’re struggling with an addiction, here is that clear path—the worldview and your practical path forward. I’m going to layout the worldview for you in an unsuspected place: what is a covenant?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-265-here-is-practical-help-for-anyone-stuck-in-a-bad-habit/
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Shows Main Idea – A child chooses to walk away from the Lord after becoming an adult. You want to help this person, but you’re not sure how to do it. It’s your sibling. How do you become part of the solution? You realize there are more underlying issues than the sibling’s rebellion. There has been been a pattern of family dysfunction. As you help your sibling, what are some of the reflection points you want to consider as you make your plans?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-264-tips-to-help-an-adult-sibling-who-is-not-walking-with-the-lord/
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Shows Main Idea – Sometimes we can become stuck in our old habits, and it creates a blind spot that keeps us from changing. Mable is one of those stuck people. She has a life-long pattern of sinful anger and does not know how to overcome it. Recently, after a dust-up with her friend Marge, I gave her a practical analysis of the problem and solution. Mable has hope and a plan for lasting change.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-263-how-to-be-free-of-your-sin-regardless-of-the-other-person/
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Shows Main Idea – Some parents believe separating their children from the world is the best way to go. Others practice introducing their children incrementally to the world, while the third type of parents let their children imbibe in the world. There is one thing missing with all three of these parenting strategies, and it's the most essential.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-261-the-biggest-danger-to-sheltering-your-children-from-the-world/
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Shows Main Idea – This ministry offers thousands of articles, podcasts, videos, and graphics, plus interactive forums provided freely to any person looking for practical help from a biblical perspective. Read, listen, or watch what God is doing through this ministry and the thousands of lives who are benefiting from it.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-262-learn-how-this-ministry-benefits-you-and-your-family/
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Shows Main Idea – In September 2020, Triangle Community Church in Apex, North Carolina, asked Rick to share his testimony, including his pre-salvation childhood and upbringing, regeneration, subsequent divorce, and the aftermath, which led to what he does today. Rick will be leading a men’s retreat for TCC, and the leadership wanted to introduce him to their church. This video/podcast is that testimony.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-260-personal-testimony-how-to-trust-the-author-of-your-story/
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Shows Main Idea – I have greatly benefitted from your ministry. I am divorced after my wife left our marriage. We currently share custody, but it is very distressing to me as she walked away from Christianity and is training our children with a different worldview. How do you rear children in a two-family home? I wonder if you have ever spoken about what happened to your children from your first marriage? You made mention to them, but it’s not clear if they somehow are not a part of your life at all anymore? If so, how did that happen, and how do you cope? – Supporting Member
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-259-how-does-a-parent-a-maintain-a-two-family-home/
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Have you ever thought about how suffering is a leadership gift? Meaning, if you suffer without leading yourself through it, you may not suffer well. When a person is suffering, they must know how to lead themselves through it or become victims of their suffering.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-258-suffering-and-leadership-the-gifts-you-need/
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Shows Main Idea – The title of this podcast is full of subjectivity. There are no scriptures that will answer the question in the way that we like the Bible to speak to our most pressing queries. It does not have to be wrong for a pastor to have “another job.” Then, again, it could prove disastrous for a pastor to have a side-hustle. Like most “gray area problems,” you want to think with wisdom, carefulness, courage, and humility.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-257-should-a-pastor-lead-a-para-ministry-organization/
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Travis Mitchell from Heavenya Ministries interviewed Rick Thomas about his book Change Me, The Ultimate Life-Change Handbook. This book is a cornerstone resources for our ministry. You'll enjoy this interview as Travis asks Rick about the book, counseling concept, and more.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-255-rick-thomas-interview-about-his-book-change-me/
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Shows Main Idea – Test yourself: when you think of a certified biblical counselor, what comes to mind? The more direct question is, do you believe a certified biblical counselor is a skilled counselor? Within the biblical counseling world, there are options for a person to receive defined training from an organization, and once completed, they become certified. Certification means the completion of training, but for too many people, certification means qualification, which is potentially dangerous thinking.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-254-the-repercussions-of-being-a-certified-biblical-counselor/
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On August 4, 2020, there was a horrific explosion in Beirut, Lebanon. The details are not clear as of this podcast, but the effects are, as thousands of Lebanon citizens are suffering. Joyce Saddi, a Christian from Lebanon, reached out to Rick Thomas, asking for help as she comes alongside many of her Christian friends. She interviews Rick about trauma, parenting, being a friend, and how to walk children through the nightmare, and other aspects for sharing the practical gospel of Christ during this trying time.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-256-joyce-saddi-from-lebanon-interviews-rick-thomas/
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Are you a Trinitarian? Do you believe the Holy Spirit is part of the Godhead? What is your doctrine of the Spirit? How does the Spirit of God actively and practically operate in your life? Do you believe He has ceased in His involvement in your life? The two categories for this are cessationist and continuationist. I'm an ACBC Fellow and a continuationist.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-253-am-i-the-only-continuationist-fellow/
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An amazing thing can happen when you stop grumbling and complaining. At least, that is what happened to me. How many of you have experience surprising grace and ministry advancement after you repented of a specific sin. Did you know that this ministry began that way? Listen to the miraculous twists and turns that led to this ministry.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-252-the-miraculous-twists-and-turns-that-led-to-this-ministry/
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Shows Main Idea – Sometimes a counselor will second-guess the counseling they provided; they are not sure they gave the best advice. Whenever you are discipling, counseling, or advising someone, you must learn to rest in the confidence that what you said was the best thing you could say to the person. The way to have this kind of faith for soul care is by measuring your counsel by these four things.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-251-the-absolute-best-counseling-that-you-can-give-anyone/
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Shows Main Idea – The news is a drag that can drag you down and suck the joy from your soul. God did not build your mind to hold all the anger, gossip, pain, suffering, rage, and destruction of the world. You have a small receptacle above your neck for containing information. If your container becomes a trashcan for all the world's problems, you will eventually become an out-of-control county dump. Are you taking in too much of the world's garbage?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-250-how-to-tell-if-too-much-social-media-is-bad-for-your-soul/
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Shows Main Idea – Reactive racism is a spontaneous, lack of self-control moment where you say something unkind to someone. Reflective racism is more introspective and internalized. It's a genuine racist. You would characterize someone this way: "He's a racist." Which one are you? (I believe I heard Shelby Steele use this term.) You could also talk about reactive and reflective pertaining to any form of anger, not just racism. In this episode, I'll talk about both—racism and other forms of anger.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-249-what-is-reactive-racism-and-reflective-racism/
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Shows Main Idea – “I cannot imagine a situation where my wife was struggling with something, and I, as her husband, was not part of the process. I’m not saying I would be at every meeting with her, but I would engage in her struggle.” This concept is one of many aspects of a one-flesh marriage. I shared this idea with our counseling intern. You may listen to the podcast to gain the full context.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-248-a-key-aspect-if-you-want-to-be-one-flesh/
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Shows Main Idea – July 03, 2008, was the first day of this ministry. I wrote a blog post, not knowing where it would go. Eventually, came podcasts, videos, interactive forums, counseling school, books, speaking events, and much more. We are about to begin our thirteenth year, and it's been a fantastic journey that would never happen without you. This monthly update is our final one for the twelfth year. Rejoice in what the Lord has done, and let's keep on spreading the practical message of Jesus Christ to the world.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-247-our-12-year-anniversary-ministry-update/
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Shows Main Idea – Should I confess my hidden sin to my pastor? What does it mean for God to perfect you in your weakness? We're starting small groups and wondered your thoughts on bringing kids from the world into our meetings with the church kids? Should parents be there?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-246-rick-answers-more-of-your-facebook-questions/
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Shows Main Idea – Lot's of questions from our community. Rick tackles some of your most pressing matters in this podcast. For example, how to make a living as a Christian counselor? How do you respond to a person who won't forgive you? What happens when you conflate being whole and having broken relationships? There are more.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-245-rick-answers-your-eclectic-facebook-questions/
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Shows Main Idea – My Mastermind student asked me about a 2000 member church that does not broadcast their church meetings during the COVID-19 season. She asked for my perspective. What do you think? Should a church not preach sermons to its members if they can't gather in person? What does the Bible say? Is this theological, preferential, and wise?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-244-when-a-church-is-more-theological-than-pastoral/
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Shows Main Idea – I interact with folks leaving ministries regularly, which reminds me of something many believers don’t think about, which is showing honor before you leave. In the last three weeks, I’ve had three encounters with people leaving churches or ministries. There is an aspect of these exits that you don’t typically hear about, which is why I want to share it with you.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-243-how-to-leave-churches-ministries-employers-etc/
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Shows Main Idea – Rick is playing catch-up in this podcast as he answers questions from our community, responds to accusations about him being an idolater, and gives practical advice on how to initially respond to someone asking for help because they are in an abusive marriage. And there is more, much more!
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-242-rick-answers-questions-about-abuse-and-more/
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One of our students read one of our books in our Mastermind Program, and begin to wonder if they had the necessary IQ to do biblical counseling. The book is heady and requires a high level of reflective thinking to grasp some of the truths communicated. The question he asked is intriguing. What about you? Are you smart enough to disciple someone? Is IQ the best way to think about this issue?
Show Notes: Coming Soon
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Shows Main Idea – Is it possible for a child to make a profession of faith, walk away from the Lord, live for Satan, and become a Christian later in life? In this podcast, Rick delves into the different aspects of this common concern. How would you respond to a person who wants to know about a child getting saved, but drifts from the faith, only to come back as an adult?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-240-is-it-possible-not-to-be-saved-as-a-child-and-get-saved-later/
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Shows Main Idea – No ministry is an island that is separated from those they serve. As the head and body of Christ are unified and mobilized, you and I are one in our work. All ministries, whether church or parachurch operate similarly. You want us to serve you and we need you to help us to serve you. It’s a beautiful symmetry for God’s fame and everyone’s benefit.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-239-the-burden-of-ministry-and-your-role-in-it/
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Our problems are real. Nobody reasonable person would argue this point. There are objective measures and observations that any rational and observant person can make about a person or an issue. The tension comes when you give a person who describes the problem the authority to bring the solution. This process could be a false continuum. Study this mindmap as Rick explains the good and bad of this dilemma.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-238-the-battle-over-naming-our-problems-and-providing-answers/
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Shows Main Idea – We live in a sexually confused culture, and things are getting worse. One of the recurring new cultural temptations and tensions is when our children no longer embrace Christian values and are empathetic to the gay lifestyle. Some Christians are behind the times on this reality, thinking the gay worldview won’t affect them. One of the recurring questions in this new world we live in is, what am I to do, specifically, my child wants me to attend their gay wedding?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-237-my-gay-child-wants-me-at-the-wedding-what-do-i-do/
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Shows Main Idea – It’s an age-old question that has not lost relevance, even in our post-modern culture. The tension that each Christian has to wrestle with is, should we obey God or the state? When is it right or wrong to disobey the government? The obvious answer is somewhere in the middle, but the temptation is always to push toward the edges of the two options. Some of our responses can be subjective and sometimes heated. In this episode, I am going to wade into these waters because of where we are in our country.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-236-when-is-it-right-and-wrong-to-disobey-the-government/
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Shows Main Idea – Should pastors have the skillset to do biblical counseling? I’m talking about an ability to care for all people in any situation, no matter the degree of difficulty. Though everyone can disciple and pastors should be able to do it better than the average Christian, the question is, should they have the gifting to do biblical counseling regardless of the issue?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-235-is-it-a-good-idea-to-expect-pastors-to-be-biblical-counselors/
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Shows Main Idea – In America, we have the luxury of creating disorders. It’s what happens after you become spoiled. You lose focus and drift toward the worse parts of human fallenness. Some folks talk about this perspective when they say idle hands are the devil’s workshop. And then there is a famine in the land, and folks refocus, reprioritize, and start changing. The Coronavirus scare of 2020 is causing a global recalibration of our souls.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-234-the-unintended-but-strangely-helpful-benefit-of-coronavirus/
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Shows Main Idea – Vaneetha Risner, author of, The Scars That Have Shaped Me, details the suffering in her life, and how the Lord has sustained her through it all. The doctors misdiagnosed her with polio as an infant, which led to 21 surgeries before her thirteen birthday. These events were the beginning of a life of pain and disappointment: quadriplegia, divorce, and the death of her son. Yet, through it all, she is a shining testimony to the power of God that every person needs to hear. I had the privilege of interviewing her for our Life Over Coffee podcast.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-232-vaneetha-risner-the-scars-that-have-shaped-me/
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Shows Main Idea – Coronavirus is sweeping the world, which is unprecedented for most of us. We are living in the most prosperous time in human history. Global poverty is down. Prosperity continues to rise, and the perks and promises of an entitled culture are at exponential levels. But we live in a fallen world, a place where no person should place their hope. So how are we to respond when the realities of a transient and cursed world take over the headlines? How are you reacting to COVID-19? How is the hope of God stabilizing you?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-233-coronavirus-god-our-dwelling-place-in-uncertain-times/
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Shows Main Idea – Rick Thomas pulls back the curtain and has a candid conversation with Josh Gravitt, who leads the “support arm” of our ministry. Josh shares his life experience and passion for helping Christian ministries. You’ll get a rare look into the heart of a Christian leader who understands the backend of a ministry that most folks have not had the privilege of seeing.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-231-a-rare-look-behind-the-scenes-of-a-christian-ministry/
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Shows Main Idea – How do I see Christ as so glorious that meeting my own needs fade? How do I help someone else put their needs in perspective? In my big hurts, I have tried meditating on Christ and his presence. It does help, but there are moments where the sadness descends, and there doesn’t seem that I can do much about it but let it pass. Am I wrong? Will you help me understand this tension?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-230-when-the-integrationist-and-biblical-counselor-are-right/
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Shows Main Idea – To date or not to date has opinions all over our church and family maps. Some perspectives are direct and firm. Others are harsh and lack discretion. Then there are the flexibly moderate who know that each family and teenager is different. What is your view? Do you kiss dating goodbye for all people until they are serious about marriage? Perhaps these few thoughts will serve you as you think about this vital subject.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-229-should-all-young-people-kiss-dating-goodbye/
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Shows Main Idea – Most Christian leaders have two personalities. There is their public persona that you typically see, hear, and experience, and then there are their private lives. “Split personalities” among leaders is not wrong necessarily. But there is a catch: if the undiscerning follower does not understand this concept, they may adopt the leader’s public style, thinking that is how they should be all the time. In some cases, imitating the “pubic aspect” of leaders could be a tragedy for a follower and all those who experience him.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-228-the-tragedy-of-imitating-your-favorite-leader/
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Shows Main Idea – All of us love something. More than likely, you love many things. And you know that nothing lasts forever except for God, His Word, and our souls. Loving people, places, and things are normal and healthy. Not to love anything is abnormal, unhealthy, and dangerous. The painful problem is letting go of those things you love.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-227-the-painful-problem-of-letting-go-of-something-you-love/
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Shows Main Idea – All of us have bad habits. Some of them are worse than others from a consequential perspective, but all of them are undesirable. Getting into them is the part that we do quickly, but escaping the things that captivate us is another matter. If you want to break free from a bad habit, this podcast will give you a biblical direction that you desire. If you implement these suggestions, you’ll be on your way to freedom soon.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-226-do-you-want-to-break-free-from-bad-habits/
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Shows Main Idea – Becoming a certified biblical counselor merely means that an individual has gone through the training requirements of a biblical counseling organization. It does not mean that the person who completed the training is qualified to counsel people, particularly those with complex and longstanding struggles.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-225-why-some-certified-biblical-counselors-harm-people/
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Shows Main Idea – One of the more common and often accurate complaints about a local church is the lack of openness among the people. This problem is not isolated to merely one church, but a typical struggle for many. The critical question in this podcast is how to redemptively respond to a group of folks you love and meet with weekly so you all can grow into a biblically communicating community. Here are four ideas.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-224-my-church-is-not-transparent-and-its-frustrating/
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Shows Main Idea – Our adult child moved out of our home when he was an older teen. His life fell apart, and he wants to return home to live with us. How should we respond to him? Is it wise for us to let him come back home? What are some ground rules that we can put in place, so our home does not reflect him, which is chaos right now?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-223-how-to-love-the-rebel-adult-child-in-your-home/
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Shows Main Idea – People who love to help others tend to give too much of their time to those folks. Learning and applying time management tips can be a lifesaver, not just for your life but for those you love the most. Burnout and relational dysfunction are frequent companions for those who don’t understand these things. Learn and practice them, and you will save yourself from a lot of heartaches and misunderstandings.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-222-practical-time-management-tips-for-busy-people/
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Shows Main Idea – The "disorder question" will continue to grow in popularity, whether someone is asking for themselves or someone else. How you answer someone who comes to you with a disorder will depend on your worldview, which there are two—secular and biblical. Do you know which worldview you have and why it matters?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-221-when-someone-asks-you-to-help-with-their-disorder/
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Shows Main Idea – Someone wrote in, asking for help about their church that is falling apart. I do not know this person, their pastor, or their church. I’m not identifying this person as male or female, but I do want to interact with the questions that the person asked me. Similar to the Corinthian letter, I’m not sharing what the person is asking but will provide input that hope will serve many individuals and local churches.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-220-my-church-is-falling-apart-and-its-devastating-to-me/
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Shows Main Idea – Our Mastermind Program is somewhat unique when it comes to training in biblical counseling. I say this because our program is not just an informational, academic curriculum. It is transformational for the student, which translates into more effective soul care for others. One of the aspects that makes it a “transformation program” is the “live practicum” that the student does. I’m speaking of our interactive forums.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-219-peeking-behind-the-scenes-of-our-transformative-training/
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Shows Main Idea – What we are today as a ministry is a million miles from what I thought it would be more than a decade ago. It is stunning and humbling to see how God can take five little loaves and a couple of fish, and turn it into a global ministry. In this podcast, I’m going to give you a brief oral history of God’s good work in our lives, as well as those with whom we’ve had the privilege to serve.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-218-an-oral-history-of-our-ministry-2008-2019/
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Shows Main Idea – Living with an unchanging, mean husband is one of the most challenging things a wife will ever experience. And it’s worse when children are involved. There are a few vital things you must think through before taking action. I will share some of those things in this podcast.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-217-my-husband-is-apathetic-how-do-i-respond-to-him/
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Shows Main Idea – The easy answer could be yes or no. Of course, we live in a fallen world, so we want to slow down before responding. It’s impossible and unwise to map a universal and absolute response over fallen people and expect conformity, unity, and no more problems. You have to exegete each couple and then bring biblical care to them according to who they are.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-216-should-a-wife-be-intimate-if-she-doesnt-want-to-be/
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Shows Main Idea – Baptism is an act of obedience for all people with whom the Lord regenerates. If God has imposed Himself into your life, and you have been born again, you want someone to baptize you. What does the ordinance of baptism mean practically? Rick shares a few practical thoughts about this privilege for all Christians, and he speaks particularly as a parent who would love for his children to walk with Christ in all matters of obedience.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-215-thinking-practically-about-the-vital-need-to-be-baptized/
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Shows Main Idea – What you see with any person or couple that you’re helping is not the primary thing you must know. You need to understand how to penetrate the noise and chaos of their lives, and the insight to drill to the heart of the matter. In this podcast, Rick graphically provides the insight you need to understand the real story and need of a struggling couple.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-214-getting-to-the-heart-of-the-matter/
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Shows Main Idea – Rick responds to questions that some people sent him. They are on abuse, parenting, divorce, bad churches, bad word choices, forgiveness, and personal conviction. If you would like to discuss any of these with him or if you have other questions, you may ask on our free community or private forums.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-213-rick-answers-questions-on-abuse-church-forgiveness-more/
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Shows Main Idea – There’s been a video zipping around the Internet that shows John MacArthur rebuking Beth Moore and then providing an explanation of his concerns about women preachers, feminism, and the sufficiency of the Bible. Our constituency asked me for a response, to which I’m obliging, and anyone else who wants to listen.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-212-johnny-friends-plus-beth-moore/
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Shows Main Idea – Does the Bible command that I become a church member? Of course not. But the Bible does not mandate most of the things we do. Asking whether the Bible mandates church membership is not the best way to approach this subject. It would be better to talk about the wisdom of becoming a church member.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-211-what-is-the-point-of-becoming-a-church-member/
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Shows Main Idea – Most Christians know that all Christians can counsel (Romans 15:14). Biblical counselors have been beating that drum for years. And we also know that there are gradations within the counseling demographic; some are formal, and others are informal counselors. The question is, what makes an excellent counselor? What are the needed qualities to be a good one? There are six of them.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-210-six-non-negotiable-qualities-of-an-excellent-counselor/
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Shows Main Idea – A lady posted on my Facebook business page a comment about her hard-hearted husband, which were her words. She was criticizing him publicly, which was gossip and slander. We deleted her comment from our page, where more than 12,000 folks could have seen it.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-209-stop-criticizing-your-spouse-and-friends-on-facebook/
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Shows Main Idea – A lady sent in a note, asking if I would do a podcast on leaving a legalistic church. Here are a few thoughts, many of which apply to how to leave any church.
Show Note: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-208-how-to-leave-a-legalistic-church/
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Shows Main Idea – How do you pray grace for your enemies and justice for your enemies? When someone hurts you, it’s vital to want God’s mercy on them, but you never want to minimize His judgment. How you answer this question reveals your theology (view of God), and how you live in His world.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-207-how-to-practice-silence-for-the-benefit-of-listening/
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Shows Main Idea – One of the media platforms where we publish our resources is Medium. Recently they sent us an email to inform us that we violated their policies by posting one of our articles. This type of ban is not the first time that our content did not meet the cultural standards, and it won’t be the last.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-206-a-media-platform-banned-our-content-for-a-violation/
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Shows Main Idea – The Bible is a potent transformative book. Not only is it a mirror that shows you your life, but it takes any person from their chaotic state, reorients them by the gospel and brings order into their lives.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-205-from-chaos-to-order-the-powerful-word-of-god/
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Shows Main Idea – From the President of the United States to the church attendee, everyone is weaponizing their words, seemingly. We can use our communication to hurt or heal; we have a choice of how we assemble and deploy our words.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-204-sticks-stones-and-words-will-hurt-you/
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Teaching is a vital aspect of our lives. Without sound teaching, how shall we know God’s directives and desires for us? But did you know that there is a more powerful shaping influence in your life? The things that had the most impact on your life came from the words and actions of others, not primarily from their teaching.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-203-your-example-has-more-impact-than-your-teaching/
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Shows Main Idea – The International Association of Biblical Counselors (IABC) is a counseling organization that began in 1988. I have been part of this organization, off and on, since about 2002. I am no longer associated with them, which I’m explaining why in this podcast.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-202-the-reason-im-no-longer-part-of-the-iabc/
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Shows Main Idea – What leadership style is your local church? Two options are the authoritarian church model where everything runs through the pastor, and another is the delegating philosophy where the church members receive envisioning and equipping to lead in prominent areas. Neither model has to be wrong, only different.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-201-comparing-authoritarian-and-delegating-church-models/
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Shows Main Idea – Christ would remove Himself from the crowds to be alone. Sometimes being by yourself is great for your soul. But being alone is different from loneliness. To be lonely is feeling isolated and incarcerated, even in the middle of one-thousand people. Mercifully, the Lord gave us an answer to the problem of loneliness.
Show Notes:https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-200-why-loneliness-is-more-painful-than-being-alone/
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Shows Main Idea – Few battles are more complex than the double-whammy of finding out your spouse committed adultery and is filing for divorce. Each event sends the soul to dire places, but when both of them happen in succession, your compass is spinning, and God is hard to understand. My friend asked me for advice because he was on the losing end of this tragedy.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-199-the-battle-of-the-mind-post-adultery-and-divorce/
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Shows Main Idea – Mailbag: In your podcast, you talked about not mapping your experience over someone to where you’re no longer helping them because you made it all about you. How do you walk that fine line between mapping your experience over others, and giving more personalized, precise soul care rooted in your similar experiences? I mean, we do have a story that God is writing. How can we use it for His fame and the benefit of others?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/the-positive-side-of-sharing-your-story-with-others/
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Shows Main Idea –The fallout of fatherlessness and dysfunctional womanhood is at an all-time high. Children and grandchildren no longer have biblical templates for what manhood and womanhood should be. And there is an older generation that does know what it means to be a man or woman in God’s world. We call them grandparents.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-197-grandparents-export-themselves-to-the-next-generation/
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Shows Main Idea – There are many hard jobs, and I'm sure if I asked you to give me your list of the most difficult ones, you would do so readily. But I doubt that many Christians would list pastoring as one of the most complex and exhausting jobs that you could have. And the reason is that they don't understand why it's so hard. In this podcast, I'm going to pull back the curtain and let you peek into the complexity of pastoring.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-196-understanding-the-exhausting-work-of-being-a-pastor/
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Shows Main Idea – The hierarchy in the home does not mean the “person at the top” is superior in every way. Structure within the marriage and family is a coherent means of providing order and logic within the structure.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-195-five-reasons-a-husband-wont-lead-his-wife/
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Shows Main Idea – When disappointments accumulate in a person’s life, there is a strong temptation to give up. But more than giving up, the disappointed soul becomes bitter, suspicious, and even hostile toward the hope of a better kind of life. The Christian cynic does not hope but wallows under the negative waves that roll over them.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-194-the-cyclic-effect-of-cynicism-and-the-cure/
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Shows Main Idea – Our all-online Mastermind Program is not what you think it is. Perhaps you believe it’s to teach you how to counsel biblically. Maybe you think it’s to help you to be a better person. Both of those things are true, but it’s more than that.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-193-our-12-step-program-could-change-your-life-forever/
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Shows Main Idea – I’m not a fan of the tithe/tithing language in our Christian culture because the Bible does not teach that Christians should give ten percent of their income. But how do you know if a person is a generous giver? I have sixteen questions that will help you examine where you stand with money.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-192-sixteen-questions-to-examine-your-generosity/
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Shows Main Idea – Small groups have been popular for several decades in our local churches, and there are different kinds of them, which is excellent. In this podcast, I am going to address how to build a dynamic discipleship group that focuses on sanctification.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-191-three-vital-keys-for-leading-a-small-group/
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“Positioning” is the process of understanding what already resonates in a person’s thinking and then connecting (or positioning) your product or idea into the mind of that person.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-190-why-you-need-to-understand-positioning-marketing/
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Shows Main Idea – Fear is a typical “fallen problem” for all of us. Born in Adam, we come into the world crippled by shame, guilt, and fear. Without the restorative help and power of the gospel, our Adam fallenness will metastasize until hopelessness takes over the hurting soul. In this podcast, I’m providing you with vital insight to help any person struggling this way.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-189-helping-someone-break-free-from-fear/
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Shows Main Idea – Biblical counseling is formulaic in many people’s minds. What I mean is that the conventional thought is that if you can get a person to a counselor, the counselee will change. This idea is not necessarily accurate; transformation depends on several things happening while the counselee is inside the counseling window.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-188-the-vital-importance-of-the-counseling-window/
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The question that I’m posing in the title of this podcast has several layers, and it’s vital that you move slowly and think deeply about my response to this common struggle. If you understand this problem biblically, it will serve you personally, as well as those within your sphere of care.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-187-is-depression-a-sin-when-others-abuse-you/
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Shows Main Idea – After the Lord regenerated me in 1984, I found a local church. It was a "three-to-thrive church," which means you went to corporate meetings twice on Sunday and once on Wednesday. The local church was the center of our social lives. Today, it's no longer the case. There are many ways a teen can socialize today, and the church is losing its primacy in young lives.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-186-one-reason-teens-are-leaving-the-church/
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Shows Main Idea – When my daughter was 14-years old, she had a school project about the Civil Rights Movement in the United States during the 1960s. Since I lived during this traumatic time in American history, she asked to interview me.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-185-my-daughter-interviews-me-about-racism/
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Shows Main Idea – Developing a discipleship/counseling culture in your church will not happen without intentionality. In this podcast, I'm going to share a few things that will help you move in that direction. This list is not exhaustive but will serve you immensely in the process of creating a soul-care community.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-184-vital-tips-for-developing-a-counseling-worldview-in-your-church/
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Shows Main Idea – The more accurate title is, “If You Want to Change, Stop Reading So Much of Our Stuff.” More is not better if the goal is to lock sound teaching into your long-term memory bank, which is how transformation happens, humanly speaking.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-183-if-you-want-to-change-stop-reading-our-stuff/
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Shows Main Idea – Lucia and I went to see the movie while our children went to their youth group. We wanted to preview the film before suggesting they watch it since it received an "R rating" from the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA).
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-182-movie-review-of-unplanned-the-pro-life-movie/
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Shows Main Idea – Forgiveness is for the benefit of the offender and the offended, though its intent does not mean both parties will experience this grace gift. Minimally, the victim should access this means of grace, but getting to this sweet place shalom is not easy.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-181-to-forgive-or-not-to-forgive-that-is-the-question/
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Shows Main Idea – Changing your thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors can be challenging for some individuals. There are a few issues that you can repent of quickly, and there are others that recur time and again. But did you know it’s possible never to overcome some sin patterns entirely?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-180-its-critical-to-know-that-youll-always-be-angry/
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Shows Main Idea – To be afraid is to be normal. Nobody comes into the world—except for Jesus—unfearful. Fear is a core “Adamic problem” that we all get at birth, and it can tempt anyone to anger, which is why it's vital to understand the interplay between fear, anger, and self-reliance.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-179-the-mysterious-interplay-of-fear-anger-and-self-reliance/
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Shows Main Idea –Desiring ministry and being qualified for ministry is critical when assessing a potential leader. But how do you asses a person? What are some of the vital signs do you look for in a future leader?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-178-seven-critical-keys-when-assessing-a-future-leader/
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Shows Main Idea – Get Ready – For Your Best Marriage Now – If you are thinking about dating, courtship, or getting married, this could be the most important book you’ll ever read. I realize what I just wrote may come across as an overstatement or hyperbolic marketing, but it is not.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-177-an-exceptional-marriage-book-for-you/
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Someone asked my opinion on the Five Love Languages. It’s a popular book that has benefited many folks. But they wanted to know if there were inherent problems with the book? Before I could chime in, the biblicists, integrations, secularist, confused, and adamant weigh in with how to think about this matter. I figured that I would wait a bit before I shared my two cents.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-176-what-is-your-opinion-about-five-love-languages/
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We do no cookie-cutter training in our program. You are a real and distinct person, loved by the Father, saved by the Son, empowered by the Spirit, and guided by the Word. Our goal is to come alongside what the Father, Son, and the Spirit are doing in your life, to help you maximize their good work in your life in real, tangible, and practical ways
Learn More Here: https://rickthomas.net/education1/
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Shows Main Idea – People are not afraid of every person, but it is possible to be fearful around certain individuals. The insecure person is in a trap. Being vulnerable is hard, but the Bible has a solution that will release such a person from the prison of timidity.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-175-when-youre-insecure-around-certain-people/
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Shows Main Idea –The preaching of the Word is irreplaceable, but it's not a magic bullet that will change lives, families, communities, and cultures if we don't know how to "work it into warp and woof" of our souls practically. And this is the call of preachers--to equip the saints.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-174-rethinking-sunday-morning-and-gods-word/
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Shows Main Idea – Someone asked me why I tweet political messages on my Twitter account. He then followed up by saying that politics stink. His question is worth exploring, and every Christian should evaluate their role in politics.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-173-why-christians-should-engage-in-politics/
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Shows Main Idea – Our ministry works hard at serving folks who have real-life questions, situational difficulties, personal problems, and relational challenges. Because helping people is vital to us, we are always praying, discerning, strategizing, and changing so we can meet them with practical, Christ-centered solutions. Here are seven ways that we accomplish our passion for serving the body of Christ.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-172-seven-ways-to-find-help/
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Shows Main Idea – Rick preached this powerful message at Grace and Truth Community Church in Delaware. He was encouraging that body to be more intentional in their soul care endeavors. He said during the message that “the Bible calls you to live differently from relationships. The Bible calls you to be intentionally intrusive in people’s lives so Jesus Christ can transform both of you.” You may listen to the entire sermon.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-171-ministering-to-one-another-should-be-supreme/
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Shows Main Idea – I was supervising one of our Mastermind students, and she was sharing about how she struggles with speaking the truth to those folks that she disciples. Her concern was that she might say the wrong things to the person, which could lead to hurting the individual. I made a mindmap for her, which served as an outline to think about this issue.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-170-learning-to-trust-god-while-caring-for-others/
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Shows Main Idea – Christians should be the loudest people in the restaurant because they are the freest people in the world. Though we are serious about our call to take up our cross, we also are full of unspeakable joy as we enjoy God and each other. It is true; a merry heart is like a good medicine.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-169-my-top-five-small-group-pranks/
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Shows Main Idea – When expectations, hopes, and dreams for your marriage collide with reality, it can rest heavy on your soul and even tempt you to despair as you ponder the possibility of a "life sentence" with a spouse who may never change.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-168-the-dawning-reality-of-who-you-really-married/
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Shows Main Idea – What does it mean to fear God? This issue is critical for the Christian because living in fear is one of our most significant problems. Worry, anxiousness, and fear come with our "Adamic package." Fearing God is the antidote.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-167-what-does-it-mean-to-fear-the-lord/
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Shows Main Idea – Starting a counseling ministry is a rewarding process. Knowing how to do it is critical. In this podcast, I share with you six key questions to answer as you prepare to counsel others. This list is not exhaustive.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-166-six-key-ideas-when-starting-a-counseling-ministry/
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Shows Main Idea – Part of the requirements for our Mastermind program is for the student to interact and personalize blocks of topical content to their lives. In this podcast, I’m sharing with you part of an assignment that a student sent in and my supervisory notes back to him.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-165-why-our-program-can-be-as-lame-as-any-other/
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Shows Main Idea – Nearly, without exception, people who come to counseling do not have dependable, competent companions surrounding them, who speak into their lives. There can be many reasons for this, of course. Here are a few dependable companions that I try to implement in the lives of the individuals that I’m counseling.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-164-if-youre-serious-about-change-do-these-things/
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Shows Main Idea – Being a good discipler implies you must be a talker. Indeed, you cannot counsel (or disciple) anyone well if you do not talk. Sometimes we interpret James wrong where he implores us not to be quick to speak. James is talking about foolish impulsivity. He's not talking about not talking.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-163-why-being-quick-to-speak-is-critically-biblical/
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Shows Main Idea – The most effective conferences are those that have a long ramp-up time, a comprehensive pre-conference week, the conference sessions, and an extended period for “working out the conference” after it ends. This concept is what we did in Canada.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-162-superb-way-put-church-conference/
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Shows Main Idea – A joy-filled life does not just happen, but it can happen if you understand and implement these eight sequential keys into your life. Find a friend and talk about these things. It will be a transformative experience.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-161-eight-critical-keys-to-a-joy-filled-life/
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Shows Main Idea – Every person is moving from transformative relationships or leaning into them. We're not static beings. The two categories are pride or humility. Assess yourself to see which way you're heading.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-160-the-risky-business-of-practicing-humility/
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Everybody can counsel according to their God-given capacity, which implies that there are differences between good counselors and excellent ones. In this podcast, I'm going to talk about those differences.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-159-distinguishing-good-and-excellent-counselors/
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Shows Main Idea – Let's pretend that one-thousand people were knocking on your door, asking you to help them with different matters. How would you handle that seemingly impossible situation? Do you have a strategy to care for others, or are you overwhelmed by the requests for help?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-158-why-i-cant-talk-to-you-but-never-turn-you-away/
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Shows Main Idea –In your normal close relationships, it is not wise to make their problems the primary focus of your interactions. If you do, you may run them off or tempt them to lie, so you stop talking about what is wrong with them. There is a better way to respond to their issues.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-157-you-should-not-make-a-persons-problems-your-main-focus/
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Shows Main Idea – When Paul said in Ephesians 5:24 that a wife is supposed to submit to her husband in everything, did he mean everything? The Bible is explicitly clear: Paul did not mean everything. That would be blasphemy.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-156-submission-to-husbands-in-everything-doesnt-mean-everything/
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Why do you use the word psychology? I have a MA in Psychology, and it is a humanistic approach with many different modalities that lead people from Christ.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-154-rick-why-do-you-use-the-word-psychology/
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Shows Main Idea – When you hear a sermon, it is your responsibility to make any appropriate application of that message to your life. But what if you're not sure if the sermon was for you? How do you know if you're listening correctly?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-154-the-tricky-contours-of-sermon-application/
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Shows Main Idea – One of the big misconceptions that some Christians have about the Bible is that you need a verse or passage to justify everything they do. The Bible does not teach this idea. Typically, the believers will say something like, "Show me a verse that supports your idea."
Show Note: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-153-you-dont-need-a-verse-for-everything-you-do/
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Shows Main Idea – God can use nearly any means to help someone, but that does not mean you should hook your wagon to those who helped you, especially if they are compromising the Bible.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-152-results-important-means/
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Shows Main Idea – Some people do not change or show no interest in improving when you talk to them. You wonder if you should continue to meet with them or stop. Are you wasting your time? Rick walks through this tension in this podcast.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-151-should-you-waste-time-with-unchanging-people/
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Rick Thomas sat down with Kevin Hurt, the Executive Director of the International Association of Biblical Counselors to talk about counseling, discipleship, the local church, and how to do soul care well.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-150-kevin-hurt-executive-director-of-iabc/
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Shows Main Idea – Brandi Huerta is the wife of Matthew and mother of Chelsee, Rachel, and Josiah. She lives on the plains of Colorado, where she is active in the women's, children's, and counseling ministries at Grace Bible Church.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-149-interview-with-brandi-huerta/
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Shows Main Idea – Do you believe that the Bible teaches it’s every parent’s responsibility to homeschool their kids? Some people teach that you could make a case for this worldview in Deuteronomy 6:4-9. What do you say?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-148-homeschool-option/
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The person that you are on the inside always comes out and affects your relationships. If you have a Godward orientation, you will have a positive effect on others. If you have a selfish orientation, you will hurt your relationships.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-147-affects-relationships/
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Shows Main Idea – The majority of passages in the Bible that talk about marriage say explicitly (or imply) personal responsibility. Meaning, you must work hard. But your effort does not mean you’ll get a Disneyesque “happy ever after” marriage, a promise that is not taught in Scripture.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-146-a-different-kind-of-happy-ever-after-marriage/
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Shows Main Idea – In this age of political civil unrest, emotions are running high, and views are all over the map. How do you respond to your spouse's opinions when they are different from yours, and those perspectives are influencing your children?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-145-spouse-teaching-children-different-political-views/
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Shows Main Idea – Question and Answer with Rick Thomas: (1) Is it possible to be a Christian but have little passion for the Lord? (2) I want to grow in discipleship but do I need a biblical certification?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-144-qa-salvation-no-passion-and-biblical-certification/
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Shows Main Idea – Splitting up is a sad and life-changing problem for all individuals involved, especially the children. The best answer is not to do it but if that does not happen, here are ten things to consider to make a negative situation moderately better for your kids.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-143-ten-things-to-know-about-divorced-children/
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Change Me – The Ultimate Life Change Handbook – (Paperback and Kindle Formats) will change your life if you let it. It will also improve your relationships—marriage, parenting, small group, the local church, and other community contexts where you are connecting with people.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-142-change-me-the-ultimate-life-change-handbook/
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Shows Main Idea – I sat down with Answers In Genesis speaker, writer, and researcher, Bodie Hodge to talk about creation, the Book of Genesis, counseling, and more. He was gracious to invite my family and me to his office for this interview at The Creation Museum.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-141-bodie-hodge-interview-with-answers-in-genesis/
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Shows Main Idea – The accountability partner idea can be a useful context for two individuals to meet up to care for each other. But many times these relationships run out of steam for various reasons. The Bible has a better way to think about soul care.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-140-the-downside-of-accountability-partners/
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Shows Main Idea – A good marriage does not just happen, and neither does a bad marriage. Regardless of where your marriage ends, there is a process for getting there. In this podcast, I talk about the four-steps to divorce.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-139-four-steps-from-dating-to-divorce/
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Shows Main Idea – The Great Commission is a fourfold job description for every Christian. With the Lord's enabling, we go, convert, disciple, and send. It too much for any one person but when examined biblically, it's a doable privilege for all God's children.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-138-understanding-the-cyclic-effect-of-the-great-commission/
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Shows Main Idea –There are times when it’s wise to withhold the truth from individuals because what they need more is redemptive care. This thought is not unbiblical, as Jesus withheld the truth from those that He loved.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-137-being-pastoral-can-be-better-than-being-theological/
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Shows Main Idea – Every ministry is unique in its own way. There are elements of an organization that makes it stand out from others. These differences do not make it better, but different. And there is something different about us.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-136-the-thing-that-distinguishes-our-ministry/
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Shows Main Idea –It's not wise for boys and girls to "like" each other while creating contexts and situations where they can be isolated from other people. Being friends is one thing, but "liking" each other in the sense of being attracted to each other is potentially dangerous for so many reasons.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-135-ten-thoughts-on-boys-and-girls-dating/
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We had the privilege of going to Mexico to serve Bethel Baptist Church in Alhuey, Sinaloa for eight days. I taught eight times during a four-day conference in the church led by Tappan Hornor.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-134-eight-days-in-mexico/
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Last week I interviewed Dianne Keech about domestic violence and child abuse. After the podcast ended, we continued to talk for another ninety minutes. This podcast is part of our "off the cuff," behind the scenes conversation, as Dianne shared more of her burden for the church to take a more effective role in helping abused children.
Show Notes:
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Shows Main Idea – Dianne Keech is the owner and lead consultant of S.A.F.E., Child Protective Consulting. Rick Thomas interviews her about child protection and the church's role in taking care of the children.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-132-dianne-keech-s-a-f-e-child-protection-consulting/
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Shows Main Idea – "The Insanity Of Madness," by Dr. Daniel Berger explores how everyone has a "disorder," which is a by-product of human fallenness. He further explains how modern psychology has not real answers, but we have hope in the sufficiency of God's Word. This interview will encourage and inform.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-131-dr-daniel-berger-on-the-insanity-of-madness/
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Shows Main Idea – The Disconnected Man tracks the journey of one man’s surprise discovery of his own disconnectedness and his desire to help other men, and the women who love them, before it is too late. Listen to my interview with the author, Jim Turner.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-130-the-disconnected-man-with-jim-turner/
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Shows Main Idea – All relationships run the risk of disappointing you. The closer you get to a person, the more you will know about them, which is a set up for disappointment. The Bible has a solution to this problem.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-129-why-close-relationships-become-hard-relationships/
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Shows Main Idea – In February 2018, I led a marriage retreat in Alaska. As part of those meetings, I also spoke at Soldotna Bible Chapel. This message is about God's purposes in suffering, as Paul talked about in Second Corinthians.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-128-a-theology-of-suffering-from-second-corinthians/
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God can change you regardless of the context or the means. He saved me while I was alone, reading a book with weak theology. But there are better contexts for change to happen in your life. This podcast walks through good, better, and the best settings for transformation.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-127-good-better-and-best-contexts-for-change/
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There is a historical way of doing discipleship taught in the New Testament and a new modern way that adapts better to how we want to live. Though the new way is popular and fits our fast-paced life, it's a bad idea for soul care.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/your-daily-drive/ep-126-good-and-not-as-good-discipleship-practices/
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In the old days, it was expected to become a church member. Today, it's not a big deal, and the repercussions of a low church commitment are dangerous.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-125-a-weak-church-model-the-regular-attender/
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Having a strategic and well thought out plan for equipping the saints for the work of the ministry is vital for any church that wants to spread the fame of God more effectively. In this podcast, I illustrate a plan for training the church with five infographics.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-124-a-proactive-model-for-equipping-your-church/
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How would you describe Christian discipleship? Or biblical counseling? If someone were to ask you for the core components of soul care, what would you tell them? In this podcast, I articulate the four primary themes that make up the why and the how of our soul care practices.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-123-what-is-a-christological-view-of-discipleship/
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Shows Main Idea – What is Christian maturity, and how do you know if you're mature? How do you help your friends grow up into Christlike maturity? In this podcast, I'm going to tackle these questions.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-122-what-is-christian-maturity/
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Shows Main Idea – If God saves me from my sin, forgives me, blots them out, and makes me a new creation in Christ, why do I continue to sin? Do my ongoing problems with sin mean I'm not a Christian, and what is my role in responding to my transgressions?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-121-what-is-salvation-sanctification-and-my-responsibility/
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Shows Main Idea – Every Christian should be busy. The unbusy Christian is an oxymoron. Nobody has a more important message than the Christian, and we should be “spending ourselves” as we go and tell the world about God.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-120-its-not-about-being-busy-but-managing-your-time/
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Shows Main Idea – An individual's ministry never starts "out there somewhere" but always within their immediate sphere of influence. If you do not take care of those closest to you, it is likely you will compromise what you do "out there," even to the point of seeing it collapse.
Show Notes Here:
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Shows Main Idea – A common question to our ministry is about how our ministry can serve individuals, churches, and other ministries. In this podcast, I elaborate on a few of the ways we help the body of Christ.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-118-a-few-ways-we-can-help-your-church-or-ministry/
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We have a consistent interest in our Mastermind Training, as more folks benefit from our resources. The primary reason they want our training is that they love the content we produce, and they want to go deeper into it. But most of them don't finish.
Show Notes:
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Shows Main Idea – Biblical discernment is a huge issue for anyone who wants to care for another person. Anytime you’re discipling someone you have to make judgment calls about the person you’re discipling. There is no way around this truth.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-116-the-loving-necessity-of-judging-others/
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Shows Main Idea – God has called every Christian to disciple other Christians. This opportunity is not for an elite set of Christian, but the privilege of every person that the Lord has regenerated.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-115-what-is-body-to-body-ministry-in-the-local-church/
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Shows Main Idea – Lucia and I spent the first five years of our marriage never owning or confessing personal sin. And there was no asking for and granting forgiveness. Needless to say, we had communication problems. In this podcast, I’m going to walk you through what we did to change our relationship with each other.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-114-how-to-fix-your-communication-problems/
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Shows Main Idea – One of the most important things you’ll ever learn is how to make a biblical decision. This training is practical and relevant to how you live your life today because it applies to any decision you’ll ever have to make, whether what you’re deciding is a big or little thing. You’ll be helped and encouraged by this practical training.
Show Notes - https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-113-a-practical-perspective-on-decision-making/
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Shows Main Idea – Understanding disorders through a biblical lens is rare for today's Christian. In this episode, Rick walks you through how to think about behavioral disorders using the Bible as your presupposition.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-112-a-biblical-perspective-on-disorders/
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Shows Main Idea –A reader asked why I write more to men and not to women. He is upset because men are continually beat down while women are given a pass. Here’s my response.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-110-help-for-the-angry-person-2/
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Shows Main Idea – Sinful anger comes from the heart of a weak person who has not learned how to submit his desires to the obedience of Christ. In this podcast, Rick provides explanations and tools to help the angry person.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-110-help-for-the-angry-person/
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Shows Main Idea – Some of the toughest people to try to help are those who refuse to help themselves. There is a way to think about them and possibly come alongside them while trusting the Lord to bring the needed change. Here are five practical graphics to help you help that person who is stuck in bad behaviors.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-109-five-graphics-to-help-the-addict-change/
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Shows Main Idea – A wife's call to submission mirrors the husband's call to submission, as he submits to God, which is evidenced by doing for his wife what his heavenly Father does for him.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-108-the-critical-call-on-men-to-submit/
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Shows Main Idea – When assessing an individual, you are looking to unpack three broad categories to get to know their story better. I have created a visual aid to help you understand this concept, with the hope that it will serve you and the folks you are discipling.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-107-balanced-christian-life/
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Shows Main Idea – If you want to be in a self-supported business two years from now, you need to begin the work necessary to get there today, and this essential step will help.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-106-essential-tip-youre-going-start-business-ministry/
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Shows Main Idea – June 29, 2016, I preached a sermon at North Shore Baptist Church in Queens, New York. The message was on communication from my book, Redeeming Talk Trouble.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-105-rick-thomas-preaching-communication/
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Shows Main Idea – In August 2017, Rick led a workshop at the International Association of Biblical Counselors national conference in Westminster, CO. You may listen to that workshop in this episode of Life Over Coffee podcast. Download the slide and watch the short video.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-104-rick-thomas-what-it-means-to-be-gospel-centered/
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Shows Main Idea – In August 2017, Rick Thomas did a workshop at the International Association of Biblical Counselors conference. You may listen to the lecture, plus download the notes.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-103-rick-thomas-biblical-decision-making/
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Shane Ericks is an international performing artist. She is a highly respected and frequent singer. In this interview, she talks about her life, God, and career.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-102-shane-ericks-interview/
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Shows Main Idea – How do you determine if your child's behaviors have biological or spiritual causes? Why does it matter? Can physical problems cause sinful attitudes and responses in an individual? What are the solutions for these culturally relevant issues? Dr. Daniel Berger gives us the answers.
Listen Here: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-101-are-behaviors-caused-biologically-or-spiritually/
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Through our Mastermind Training Progam, you have the opportunity to become a Certified Biblical Counselor. In this podcast, I share this opportunity with you.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-100-become-a-certified-biblical-counselor-through-our-ministry/
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I want to lead my wife, but I don't know how to do it. I don't want to be a wussified leader. Do you have any tips that would help me to be a better leader?
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/five-ways-to-know-if-youre-a-real-man-to-a-woman/
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Shows Main Idea – It is to the Christian’s advantage to learn about the redemptive use of technology because the majority of humanity lives in cyberspace. There is an “echo of omnipresence” in technology. The missional Christian understands this and is penetrating the cyber-culture for God’s fame. This podcast is chocked full of ideas and best practices for building and sustaining an active and transformative presence.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-98-how-to-build-an-online-ministry-in-an-ever-changing-culture/
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August 2017, I interviewed Julie Ganschow the founder and Director of Reigning Grace Counseling Center. Listen to her heart for discipleship in the church.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-97-julie-ganschow-interview/
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Shows Main Idea – Oliver Underwood is the Director of The Mission House in Port Orchard, WA. The Mission House is a biblically-based residential program for men struggling with any kind of addiction. I interviewed Oliver at the annual IABC National Biblical Counseling Conference in Westminster, CO.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-96-oliver-underwood-the-mission-house-interview/
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July 28-30, 2017, I had the privilege of leading a training conference at Hillrose Community Church in Hillrose, Colorado. It was a fabulous experience. The church invited our family to join them for three days of equipping in discipleship. On this page you will find many of the concepts that I shared with them, plus a free downloadable book that includes all of my lectures.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-95-the-hillrose-lectures/
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Shows Main Idea – What comes to your mind when you hear the word accountability? For too many Christians, the word conjures up harshness or disinterest. This podcast re-examines this idea of soul care and places it within a Christian construct.
Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-94-unpacking-christian-accountability-from-the-beginning/
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Small group life can be an amazing experience or it could be the most frustrating part of your week. These eight ideas, when discussed thoroughly and implemented practically, can change any small group experience.
Read Here https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-93-eight-essentials-for-an-exceptional-small-group-experience/
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Rick will be having back surgery on July 11, 2017. This Life Over Coffee podcast is an update on the upcoming surgery and a quick snapshot of the twelve-year journey that brought him to this point.
Show Notes https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-92-rick-is-having-back-surgery/
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Shows Main Idea – There are several reasons to listen well when caring for others, and only one of those ideas is to find out what is happening in the individual's life. The art of listening has many facets. Let me explain.
Show Notes https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-91-four-reasons-you-want-to-listen-well-when-helping-others/
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A treatment center can be useful in that the person can get away from some of the temptations that have ensnared him. He can have six weeks or six months of freedom from his habit. He can also get away from his friends or media temptations. The downside is that if all you provide is a treatment facility, the chances of it working is slim.
Show Notes https://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/are-treatment-centers-a-good-idea-for-an-habituated-person/
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T. C. Stallings is a Christian first and Hollywood actor second. He has made numerous movies, including War Room and Courageous. I talked with T. C. about his marriage, acting, major life decisions, and how his faith in God brings shape to all those things, plus every other area of his life.
Show Notes http://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-89-interview-with-t-c-stallings-actor-in-courageous-and-war-room/
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Jesus Calling by Sarah Young is a difficult book for me to review, not only because of its complex issues but also because I have many dear friends who love it deeply.
Read Amy's Review Here http://rickthomas.net/jesus-calling/
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Shows Main Idea – What is an “emotional affair?” That kind of language creeps into our biblio-centric system of thought from the culture–a worldview that denies Christ, so they create labels and ideas that are anti-biblical. There are scores of examples of this: evolution, self-esteem, affair, emotional abuse, disorders, mental illness, and gay.
Show Notes http://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-87-the-unintended-consequence-of-an-emotional-affair/
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I interviewed Steve Gallagher the founder and chairman of Pure Life Ministries. Steve is also prolific writer, plus a certified biblical counselor with the International Association of Biblical Counselors.
Show Notes http://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-86-steve-gallagher-interview-with-pure-life-ministries/
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I interviewed Nate Danser and Jordan Yoshimine with Pure Life Ministries. They currently serve on staff, but prior to coming to Pure Life Ministries, they struggled with sexual addiction, including porn, masturbation, and same-sex attraction.
Show Notes - http://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-85-pure-life-ministries-interview-nate-danser-and-jordan-yoshimine/
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It seems boredom and children go hand-in-hand. What makes this so unusual is there has never been a time where people have had so much access to the world.
Show Notes http://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-84-nine-ways-to-export-boredom-to-your-children/
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A wife has power over her husband. She can choose to use her power to build him up or she can destroy him and their marriage by how she helps her husband.
Show Notes http://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-83-dear-wife-build-up-your-husband/
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Dave Furman (ThM, Dallas Theological Seminary) serves as the senior pastor of Redeemer Church of Dubai in the United Arab Emirates, which he planted in 2010. Dave and his wife, Gloria, have four children. He is the author of, Being There: How To Love Those Who Are Hurting.
Show Notes http://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-82-dave-furman-interview-author-of-being-there/
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My husband was told that he must be “all in” at home rather than just being here but not engaged. He said he did not know what it meant to be “all in” at home. Can you help us practically?
Show Notes http://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-81-how-can-i-get-my-husband-to-be-all-in-when-hes-at-home/
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My husband was told that he must be “all in” at home rather than just being here but not engaged. He said he did not know what it meant to be “all in” at home. Can you help us practically?
Show Notes http://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-81-how-can-i-get-my-husband-to-be-all-in-when-hes-at-home/
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Shows Main Idea – The question was raised the other night in our monthly Mastermind meeting about how an individual can spread the awareness of our ministry in their local church and to other spheres of influence. I thought there are many ways to do this but most folks may not be aware how they can share our ministry. Here are a few suggestions:
http://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-80-twenty-ways-to-share-our-ministry-with-your-friends/
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In our Mastermind Training Program, our students are challenged to connect sound theology to the real lives they live. I do not want our students to learn more sound theology without learning how to live it in transformative ways. And they must be able to help their counselees do more than know sound Bible doctrines. They must remove the "heart hindrances" that keep the person from living sound theology.
Show Notes http://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-79-knowing-theology-is-not-enough-if-you-want-to-change/
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Shows Main Idea – When there is a conflict between a family event (visit, party, babysitting, etc.) and a ministry event (counseling, visit the jail, home group, church meeting, etc.) and if all things are equal, does ministry to those outside family come before family things? Does a Christian's lifestyle prioritize family over ministry?
Show Notes http://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-78-when-ministry-and-family-priorities-collide/
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Ed Bulkley is President for the International Association of Biblical Counselors (IABC). This interview explores his heart for the church and counseling.
Show Notes here http://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-77-ed-bulkley-interview-with-iabc/
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Shows Main Idea – Kevin Hurt is Executive Vice President for the International Association of Biblical Counselors (IABC). This interview explores his heart for the church and counseling, plus his activities and vision for IABC.
Show Notes here http://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-76-kevin-hurt-interview-iabc/
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Some people in my church have hurt me, and I want to run down all the gossip to justify myself. I'm also having a difficult time thinking of right things. I need help.
Show Notes: http://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-75-how-to-respond-to-gossip-and-broken-relationships/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/
Why do so many of Christians leaders fall into sin and how do you help protect these leaders from failure while guarding ourselves against similar mistakes?
Show Notes: http://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-74-fall-like-leader/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/
Shows Main Idea – The Christian parents are angry that their daughter is dating a guy who is new to the faith. The daughter wants to move away from her parents so she can continue to date the new convert, who came from a rough background. What should the daughter do? What should the parents do? What should the boyfriend do?
Show Notes http://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-73-girl-wants-to-marry-boyfriend-parents-do-not-approve/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/
Dr. Daniel Berger's latest book is called, The Truth About ADHD. Listen to my interview with Dr. Berger as he discusses this problematic secular diagnosis.
Find show notes here http://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-72-dr-daniel-berger-adhd-interview/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/
Shows Main Idea – Lucia, my wife, was diagnosed with breast cancer late 2016. I interviewed her in this podcast to give folks an update about what God is doing in our lives and to let them know where we are in the process.
Find on site http://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-71-lucia-thomas-interview-breast-cancer/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/
Dr. Daniel Berger has written five books on mental illness. These books are the best, most comprehensive, and readable treatments on the subject of mental illness from a Christian perspective. He demonstrates how ineffective secular psychology and psychiatry are in helping people to heal. You will love Dr. Berger’s books.
Show Notes here http://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-70-daniel-berger-interview-on-mental-illness-part-two/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/
Shows Main Idea – Dr. Daniel Berger has written five books on mental illness. These books are the best, most comprehensive, and readable treatments on the subject of mental illness from a Christian perspective. He demonstrates how ineffective secular psychology and psychiatry are in helping people to heal. You will love Dr. Berger's books.
Find Show Notes here http://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-69-daniel-berger-interview-on-mental-illness-part-one/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/
Shows Main Idea – Parenting children is different for each child and each moment of the child's life. Your six-year-old child steals something. You caught him, and he owned what he did. He went on to tell you that he has taken things at other times. It is his habit. Should you discipline him? You must punish sin, right? You want to set an example. What if you did something better? Here are eleven parenting tips that can transform how you think about discipline, your child, God, the Gospel, and your parenting practices.
Find show notes here http://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-68-parenting-should-i-discipline-my-child-for-stealing/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/
Shows Main Idea – I made many horrible mistakes in my past. God has forgiven me, but I cannot escape the condemnation, whether it's from me or others who learn about my past. How do I get over my past? How do I respond to others? Should I tell them all the things I've done in the past?
Find episode here http://rickthomas.net/podcast/life-over-coffee/ep-67-escape-regrettable-past-2/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/
Do you have a friend who does not mind telling you what’s wrong with you but he never admits any of his personal mistakes? It is challenging to work through and sustain these kinds of “inequitable” relationships. In this podcast, I walk you through ten ways to respond to the friend who is more willing to admit your faults than his own.
Find the show notes here http://rickthomas.net/10-responses-to-the-friend-who-wont-admit-wrong/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/
Shows Main Idea – My wife regularly uses unkind words to hurt me. I’ve made mistakes, but there are no amount of things I can do to change the past or win her favor. Our struggles have been going on for two decades. I’ve confessed my sins and asked for forgiveness, but she seems not to know how to be kind to me, though she is kind to nearly everyone else. What is her core problem? And what else can I do to help her?
Find the show notes here http://rickthomas.net/spouses-unkind-words-reveal/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/
Shows Main Idea – You want to help a friend but he is rejecting you. Perhaps it’s a child, parent, or another relative. What are some things you can do to help someone who does not want your help? Here are ten considerations that will guide you as you seek to help your friend.
Find the show notes here http://rickthomas.net/ten-things-that-will-help-the-person-who-is-rejecting-you/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/
Shows Main Idea – How do I practically respond to my husband when he demands submission to all his wishes regardless of what they are? How does a coequal hierarchy practically work out in a marriage like that? He does not evaluate my opinion on its merit; he tells me to obey him because disobedience to him is disobedience to the LORD.
You can find the show notes here http://rickthomas.net/does-biblical-submission-mean-my-husband-has-final-say-in-all-decisions/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/
Shows Main Idea – Friends come in all stripes. Some of them are a joy to be with while others are annoying. In this podcast, I address seven important things to consider when engaging annoying friends.
Show Notes: http://rickthomas.net/seven-things-know-annoying-friends/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/
Shows Main Idea – What are some helpful ideas when counseling couples together? I’m not looking for content like how to counsel anger or unforgiveness, but I’d like to know some of the methods you use or think about when you meet with couples. This podcast gives you ten great ideas.
Find the complete show notes here http://rickthomas.net/ten-great-ideas-when-caring-for-couples/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/
Shows Main Idea – Choosing a career as a counselor is more than determining if you want to be a Christian counselor or secular counselor. In this podcast, I'm going to share the many angles to factor into this life-altering decision.
You can find the show notes here http://rickthomas.net/can-make-career-counseling/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/
Shows Main Idea – If you know someone who will not submit to the LORD, there are reasons why. You must know these reasons so you can help them. Being impatient or frustrated with them are not the responses they need from you. Do you know why they don't trust God and do you know how to help them? This podcast insightfully walks through what's wrong and how to help.
You can find the show notes here http://rickthomas.net/four-reasons-people-dont-trust-god-and-how-you-can-help/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/
Shows Main Idea – Do you have a difficult relative or friend that you may need to confront? This podcast reveals ten things you need to know to help your challenging friend.
You can find the complete show notes here http://rickthomas.net/help-me-help-my-difficult-relative/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/
Shows Main Idea – Do you want fantastic children who love you and God? There is a way this good end can be accomplished, and the Bible is clear on how to move in that direction. This podcast gives you a seven-point checklist that will guide you in this parenting goal. Find the show notes here http://rickthomas.net/seven-point-checklist-fantastic-children/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/
Shows Main Idea – How do you help a child who was adopted from a drug and alcohol mother and is now ten years old and out of control. We have tried everything we know but it does not work. We’re at our wit’s end.
You can find the show notes here http://rickthomas.net/my-child-has-organic-problems-and-is-out-of-control/
I am divorced but still have interaction with my ex-wife. We get along but sometimes she's irritating. Is it right or is there ever a time to correct her?
You can find the show notes here http://rickthomas.net/im-divorced-should-i-correct-my-ex-wife/
Podcasting is a unique way to communicate God's relevant Word to others. To do a fantastic podcast, you need to accomplish several things. It can be done, and if you have "podcasting game" then I strongly appeal for you to start podcasting.
You can find the show notes here http://rickthomas.net/17-things-know-fantastic-podcast/
The local church is one of many options for the busy, post-modern family. The downside is that commitment to the church has declined. Many leaders are concerned, as they struggle with instilling commitment in their local churches. This podcast provides a few answers.
You can find the show notes here http://rickthomas.net/how-do-you-motivate-your-church-to-be-more-committed/
What are the characteristics of a high-end, formalized counselor? There is a distinction between the call for every Christian to counsel (disciple) and a person who has the ability to counsel the hard and complicated people and situations.
Show Notes: http://rickthomas.net/12-characteristics-good-counselor/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/
Shows Main Idea – This podcast walks a wife through how to lead her husband to be a more effective practical leader with their children. It strikes a balance between how to be intimate with them and their biblical authority at the same time.
You can find the show notes here http://rickthomas.net/how-can-i-help-my-husband-engage-our-children-more/
Shows Main Idea – The passive husband is one of the most common problems in dysfunctional marriages. This problem is especially acute for the wife who is looking for her husband to lead the family. Should she let things go or should she lead him and the family?
Show Notes: http://rickthomas.net/my-passive-husband-wont-lead-should-i-or-just-let-things-go/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/
Shows Main Idea: A common concern for caring parents is the best time for a child to begin exploring a relationship with the opposite sex. Should she date? If so, when is the best time? Dating is the subject of this podcast. I'm answering this question by using the “her” pronoun, though this content applies to boys too.
You can find the show notes here http://rickthomas.net/when-is-the-right-time-for-my-girl-to-date/
The stay at home mom role is one of the most challenging jobs in the home. It's servant-minded multi-tasking at a supremely high level that requires God's favor to perform well. There are few ministry positions more important than that one.
Show Notes: http://rickthomas.net/can-i-really-glorify-god-and-be-a-stay-at-home-mom/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/
Shows Main Idea – If a pastor abuses his wife by beating her, is he wrong? Is there justification for hitting his wife? If you had oversight over him, how would you respond?
Show Notes: http://rickthomas.net/should-a-pastor-beat-and-abuse-his-wife/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/
Shows Main Idea – There are five universal responses to mistakes. Four of them are wrong and one of them is right. As you think about your life in relationship to this list, what is your most common response after you make a mistake?
Show Note: http://rickthomas.net/ep-46-four-mistakes-people-make-feel-better/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/
A wife can unwittingly motivate her husband to continue in his passivity. If she does not understand the dynamics of his heart she may be unable to cooperate with the LORD in restoring him (Galatians 6:1-2) to the leadership role that God has called him to.
You can find the show notes here http://rickthomas.net/wife-can-motivate-husband-passive/
Shows Main Idea – The Gospel-centered life is a practical life but many Christians do not know how to connect the Gospel to their everyday lives. To them the Gospel is a great idea but it does not have a transformative effect on their lives or relationships. In this podcast, I'm going to give you three essential ingredients to live an authentic, practical Gospel-centered life.
You can find the Show Notes here http://rickthomas.net/the-missing-ingredients-to-the-gospel-centered-life/
Listening to someone to understand them does not mean you have to accept and follow what they are saying. You listen to a person so you can learn them because you want to help them. If you do not know them well then you will not be able to help them.
Show Notes here http://rickthomas.net/ep-43-listen-others-without-swayed/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/
Is it right to bring a baby into our evil world? Where is the line between God's sovereignty and personal responsibility? The world is broken and full of evil. Every future parent knows that when they bring a baby into the world, the child will be broken and fallen while tempted and affected by our corrupted world. Where is the balance? How are we to think about these things?
You can find the show notes here http://rickthomas.net/ep-42-bring-baby-evil-world/
The past three days we've been visiting the Creation Museum and Ark Experience in Kentucky. This podcast is a review of our experience.
You can find the show notes here http://rickthomas.net/ep-41-live-creation-museum/
How do you discipline your child? Do you use spanking? What are some ways you cooperate with God in helping shape your child’s heart to Him? This podcast answers questions about parental discipline.
You can find the show notes here http://rickthomas.net/twelve-things-to-know-about-spanking-and-parental-discipline/
How do you respond when a family member does not accept you? Family conflict is commonplace because we live in a fallen world. Here are thirteen things you can practically apply to any of your struggling relationships, though I'm speaking specifically about in-laws.
You can find the show notes here http://rickthomas.net/thirteen-ways-to-respond-to-in-laws-who-do-not-accept-you/
You can find the show notes here http://rickthomas.net/ep-38-speaking-injustices-culture/
It is misguided idealism to think injustices in our culture will ever go away. The better question for you to ponder is how are you going to humbly engage these injustices while understanding that fallenness will always be with us?
You can find the show notes here http://rickthomas.net/ep-37-black-christian-talks-black-lives/
Shows Main Idea – I interviewed Darrell Harrison, a black Christian who lives in the Atlanta area. I wanted to hear his perspective on the recent cultural events in America, Black Lives Matters, and how to think about these things from a Christian perspective.
Counseling movements are relatively new to Christianity. They were introduced to the church in 1969, and though they have served us well it's time to restore historical soul care to its former position in the church. The historical model and practice is discipleship, a model that truly enlists every person in the body of Christ and is practiced at any time and in any place.
Show Notes: http://rickthomas.net/why-i-dont-align-with-nouthetic-or-biblical-counseling/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/
You can find the show notes here: http://rickthomas.net/ep-35-friendliest-people-world/
Some of the friendliest people that I have ever met live in New York. It’s not what I expected when I first arrived in Queens in 1989. There is a transcending quality about the Christians in New York. They put the beauty of Christ on display by their lives.
You can find the show notes here: http://rickthomas.net/ep-34-rick-interviewing-lucia-break-legalism/
Shows Main Idea – My wife has been struggling with legalism and a passionless relationship with Christ for most of her life. She was saved as a child but the impact of the Gospel had not transformed her soul. This podcast is my interview with her as she talks about how the LORD brought her to a passionate place with Christ.
You can find the show notes here: http://rickthomas.net/ep-33-rick-lucia-talking-lust-marriage/
A supporting member asked how Lucia and I came to the place where we could talk about my temptations with lust. The best way to answer her question was to ask my wife. This is my interview with Lucia.
I sat down with Mark Grant to talk about his experience as he went through our two-year training program http://rickthomas.net/education/ He talked about the program, what God did IN him, and what life has been like afterwards.
Show Notes here: http://rickthomas.net/ep-32-mark-grants-experience-training-program/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/
You can find the complete show notes here: http://rickthomas.net/ep-31-uncensored-podcast-on-a-theology-of-suffering/
Shows Main Idea – This past April I did a podcast with the Glory Books Ministry, Ep. 12 on a theology of suffering. They aired that show in April. However, what you did not hear were some of the bloopers and pneumatic moments that were not part of the podcast. This podcast is the unedited version.
Shows Main Idea – Your church has a weak view of biblical counseling. You’re one of the lone voices for this effective and biblical model for sanctification. Most churches prefer an integrated model. How should you respond to your church and leaders?
Show Notes: http://rickthomas.net/when-you-shouldnt-make-a-big-deal-out-of-biblical-counseling/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/
Shows Main Idea – This past week I met with two pastors from a large and growing church. They wanted to talk about equipping their people for an immediate and long-term change. This podcast breaks into that conversation as I share with you what I shared with them.
Show Notes: http://rickthomas.net/what-makes-our-equipping-different-and-more-effective/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/
You can find the show notes here: http://rickthomas.net/thoughtful-perspective-on-being-gay-and-the-gay-lifestyle/
Shows Main Idea - To the one percent who are confused about my view on being gay and the gay lifestyle. And to the ninety-nine percent not confused but want to engage more.
You can find the show notes here: http://rickthomas.net/3-free-and-innovative-ideas-for-online-ministry-growth/
One of the amazing things about our age is the potential for Gospel expansion through online ministry growth. In this podcast, I want to share with you three free and innovative ideas that you can use in your ministry as you seek to share the Gospel with the world.
Find Show Notes here: http://rickthomas.net/a-new-quick-easy-simple-but-powerful-podcast/
We have a new podcast, and I want to share with you the backstory why I had to rebrand and relaunch this popular and practical podcast.
How to talk behind someone’s back is a relevant topic that has many biblical layers. There is a way to share things about others while guarding your heart and the character of the person you’re talking about.
Show Notes: http://rickthomas.net/how-to-talk-behind-someones-back/
Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here rickthomas.net/donations/