The Man in the Pew Show with Phil Mershon: Recent Episodes
Phil Mershon
Man in the Pew serves Christian men who seek to follow Christ in all of life – at work, at home, at church and at play. We do this through weekly podcast shows, articles and other resources. History Man in the Pew started with a simple thought while Phil prayed on the beaches of Florida’s Gulf Coast. Where do Christian men turn to find encouragement and inspiration during the week as they face battles at work, at home, and at play? What if there was a show bringing the voices of experts and everyday men into healthy conversations about the real issues all Christian men face? That vision started developing in January 2015 and has slowly formed into what you see now. My prayer in launching this show is that many men will find encouragement, inspiration and tips for becoming more like Christ in the parts of life that aren’t usually discussed at church. Pastors may listen to find insights into how to care better for the men in their flock, but this show isn’t primarily for pastors. This show is for “everyday” men led by everyday men who have something important to share with fellow believers. Some of these men are book authors and others will be relatively unknown outside their local sphere of influence. All of them have important things to say. Who is Phil Mershon? Phil Mershon is the founder of Man in the Pew, a ministry of Called to Worship. During the week he serves as director of events for Social Media Examiner, where he has served for nearly seven years in part-time and full-time roles. Phil is also a longtime worship leader, a former pastor, a jazz saxophonist, a songwriter, and a sports nut (basketball, football, and tennis). He has been married to Audrey for twenty-one years and they have three children in high school and college.
Do you wonder if Jesus ever laughed? Does it feel incongruous that Almighty God might enjoy a belly laugh?
Most of the pictures we have of Jesus reveal a strong but serious man. After all, he drove out the moneychangers and regularly rebuked the Pharisees for their hypocrisy. He never wavered from his eternal mission to seek and save the lost.
But Jesus was fully man and fully God. As a result, he felt the full gamut of emotions. He wept over the death of Lazarus (John 11) and grew angry at the hard-hearted response of the religious leaders. He certainly bore all the fruits of the Spirit, including joy.
Robert Funk put it like this, “Jesus used humor and hyperbole to punch holes in pomposity … Part of Jesus’ charisma, was that he attended parties, drank wine, used irony, and hung out with outcasts.“
Portraying Jesus in His Humanity
Tim Washer, on episode 141, reminded me of the painting by Ralph Kozak which portrays Jesus laughing with his head tilted back in pure delight—perhaps even a belly laugh. This painting was inspired by Willis Wheatley, one of the first modern artists to see a side of Jesus that includes laughter and joy.
Show notes: https://maninthepew.com/142
Do you find it easy or hard to laugh at life? The bible says laughter can be like medicine to the soul.
A study conducted by the University of Maryland found that laughter reduces stress, pain, and conflict. It literally makes the heart function better.
The Bible references laughter nearly 50 times. Laughter makes the heart cheerful and helps us cope with the unexpected., In Genesis 18, Sarah laughed when God promised something that seemed too good to be true—a son at the age of 80. When it came true, she named her son Isaac which means “he will laugh.”
It seems God has a sense of humor. Have you ever looked at a giraffe, a baboon, or a dolphin? Dolphins seem to be born to laugh with us. Monkeys laugh at us.
Tim Washer teaches laughter
In episode 141, Tim Washer and I discuss how laughter helps us get through life’s ups and downs. Tim studied improv under Amy Poehler, and has worked on Saturday Night Live, Conan, and Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. He’s also worked in marketing communications for IBM and now works as a virtual event speaker and emcee.
Tim regularly teaches marketers how to use humor and laughter as a way to discover new ideas. He explains that laughter helps us face hard things like a global pandemic or more personal issues such as brain surgery.
Show notes: https://maninthepew.com/141
If I looked at your bookshelves, who would I presume has had the biggest influence on your life?
Thankfully the number of books you own by an author doesn’t necessarily translate to impact—otherwise, you might think John Grisham is my mentor. I do love a good fast-moving legal thriller, but I don’t plan to go into law or to write novels.
Outside of fiction and bible commentaries, you would find more books by Dr. Larry Crabb on my shelves. Some of them I’ve read multiple times. They have all impacted me, and in some cases transformed me.
Larry (he preferred we drop the doctor) passed away on February 28, 2021. I want to pause to honor a man who showed me how to follow Jesus.
Show notes: https://maninthepew.com/140
Do you think it’s wrong to make money? Have you been taught that those who prosper financially must have done something wrong or evil?
Ray Edwards believes that we were all meant to prosper. For some our prosperity is a spiritual abundance that is accompanied by a vow of poverty. Most of us are called to greater prosperity than we’ve dreamed, but we’re afraid to pursue it because of faulty beliefs.
Introducing Ray Edwards
While I ultimately realized it wasn’t my calling to awaken the church out of economic lethargy, I’m happy to say that Ray Edwards is joining his voice with the likes of Dave Ramsey to call the church to prosper so that we might be a blessing to the world. Ray’s new book, PermissiontoProsper.com, serves as a clarion call to all believers to shed our debt and embrace our God-given mandate to be fruitful and multiply.
Ray Edwards is a Communications Strategist, Copywriter, and the author of How to Write Copy That Sells. His podcast, The Ray Edwards Show, is consistently one of the top-ranked shows on iTunes and has been downloaded over 1 million times. Ray has worked on copy and marketing with some of the most powerful voices in leadership and business. He's helped generate an estimated $300 million in revenue for clients like Tony Robbins, Michael Hyatt, Dan Miller, Jeff Goins, Jack Canfield, Frank Kern... and many more. He's been featured on Forbes.com, SocialMediaExaminer.com, and Entrepreneur.com.
Ray was also the very first guest on the Man in the Pew show. Click here to hear that interview.
For full article and show notes, go here: https://maninthepew.com/gc90
Are you afraid of your imagination? Do you imagine you’ll get yourself into trouble if you dream too much?
The church and imagination
The Church has historically discouraged imagination out of a fear that we will violate the second commandment, “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below” (Exodus 20:4 NIV).
This fear is somewhat merited. Many times our imaginations do get us into trouble. Aaron gave into the people’s demands to create a golden calf, even while Moses was on Mt. Sinai receiving the Ten Commandments! The danger is when we worship the objects of our imagination.
Fantasy and imagination
In my own life, I spent countless hours as a youth fantasizing and imagining myself flying, walking on the moon, or dating the girl of my dreams. When I took a recent personality test, I was even labeled as a dreamer.
Proverbs 14:18 (MSG) says, “Foolish dreamers live in a world of illusion; wise realists plant their feet on the ground.” Ecclesiastes 5:7 says, “Much dreaming and many words are meaningless.”
While these warnings are merited, they miss something key: God made us in his image. When God thought up something in his mind he then spoke it into being. We were designed to do the same.
At its core, imagination can release all kinds of possibilities and free us from many ailments.
For the full article and show notes, go to: https://maninthepew.com/gc89
You’ve heard the phrase, “Fake it ‘til you make it.” Does that apply to gratitude? Does that feel inauthentic to you? Maybe even like you’re lying?
Raised as a Christian, I was taught to never lie. So to suggest that I fake gratitude feels counter to my moral fabric.
But researchers suggest that faking it may actually be a good strategy.
Dr. Alex Korb is a neuroscientist at UCLA and the author of The Upward Spiral. He explains: “You can turn a tendency toward a downward spiral of depression and anxiety into an upward spiral of joy and clarity in your life. Expressing gratitude activates serotonin production, which improves your mood and allows you to overcome bad habits, giving you more to be grateful for.”
Does the Bible teach you to fake it?
I hear that and wonder if the Bible supports this. We can actually see the Bible teaching this implicitly. In Psalm 103, David says, “Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits” (v. 1). He’s reminding himself to praise God. He may not be feeling like praising God at the moment, but he has a long list of reasons to be thankful.
In Psalm 42, David asks, “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?” He answers himself by reminding himself about what will one day happen, “Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.”
Let’s be honest, David doesn’t feel hopeful at this moment; he feels depressed and despondent. But he knows his mind controls his emotions, not the other way around.
Full article and show notes available at: https://maninthepew.com/gc88
Did you grow up singing the Doxology every Sunday in church? If you did, what associations do you have? If you didn’t, how do you feel when you hear it?
In many liturgical churches, the Doxology is sung immediately prior to the offertory. In essence, we remind ourselves to “Praise God, from whom all blessings flow” before we return our gifts to him.
Whether the singing of the Doxology feels natural or arcane to you doesn’t really matter. The truth behind it demonstrates an important gratitude principle: gratefulness flows most easily when someone does something special, unexpected, and undeserved for us. And the corollary: gift-giving flows most naturally from a grateful life.
Secrets of Thoughtful Gift-Giving
I have three friends who are very good at gift-giving who showcase several ways we can all learn to give better gifts. As you hear these stories, think about people you know who are great gift-givers.
For the full article and show notes, go to https://maninthepew.com/gc87
How easy is it for you to keep your thoughts thankful, positive, and joyful? When Paul challenges us to “take captive every thought,” does that feel hard or easy?
If you’re like me, that feels impossible. My mind feels like that commercial with the cat-herding cowboy. As soon as I take one thought captive, all the other thoughts go scattering in all directions.
Of course, it’s not like that all the time. On good days I can sustain focused thought for hours and I can recount numerous reasons to be thankful. For example, I’m grateful to have a loving wife, amazing friends, gifted children, and countless books, adventures, and fond memories.
Toxic Thought Bombs
But it doesn’t seem to take a very large “toxic thought bomb” to make all those good thoughts dissipate. Dr. Caroline Leap actually describes it as hot air. When a new thought pattern hasn’t fully taken root—which takes a minimum of 21 days—it will turn into vapor if not cultivated to maturity.
That’s what happened recently when my wife and I started talking about finances. We started with prayer and level heads, but it didn’t take very long for me to become overwhelmed.
In my Monday morning quarterback seat, I know and remember that God has always been faithful to us. I also know my wife loves me and that we have committed to weather every storm together. But on that night the stress was mounting and my thoughts started turning negative.
I wish I could tell you a story of a valiant recovery. The truth is I lost this skirmish, but I haven’t lost the battle. I’ve actually recovered more quickly than ever before.
For the rest of the show notes, see: https://maninthepew.com/gc86
What’s the longest range goal you’ve ever set? Did you accomplish your goal? Most of us lose the battle for gratitude because we don’t have the right plan.
Long-term battle plans
In England, they estimate it takes 250 to 300 years to build a cathedral. That’s a lot of planning and preparation.
At New College, Oxford beetles infested the oak beams in the dining hall. Trying to find replacement beams seemed impossible, except that the original architects planted oak trees with the express purpose of being used to replace the beams. When were those trees planted? Over 500 years prior to when they were needed.
I share these two stories to give you the perspective that your battles really aren’t that long and you would benefit from taking a much longer view of your life.
I shared on day 84 how I almost quit this Gratitude Challenge after only 80 days. 80 sounded like a big number until I read about the perseverance required to build a cathedral or win a military war.
Battle of Verdun
The battle of Verdun, in World War I, is the longest battle in recorded military history. Fought between France and Germany, over one million lives were lost in a battle that lasted 302 days. While the French ultimately recaptured their forts and villages, the battle was mired in deception, counterattacks, and heavy losses.
Can you imagine going to the frontline in that war? The likelihood of survival doesn’t sound very high, but personal survival wasn’t the goal—victory was.
Battle for our minds
You’re fighting a much more significant battle when you fight for control of your mind. Toxic thoughts and negativity lead to defeat and make you susceptible to the attacks of the enemy.
Full article: https://maninthepew.com/gc85
Have you ever started a project only to find it feels pointless or a waste of time? Have you ever quit something just because it became too hard?
I have a confession to make. I almost quit this 90-Day Gratitude Challenge on day 80.
Why I almost quit the 90-Day Gratitude Challenge
On Day 72 my wife woke me in the middle of the night with some very troubling news. But I couldn’t comprehend what she was saying because I had taken some melatonin to help me sleep—a major issue for me I discussed on day 45. My brain was foggy and her words didn’t compute.
When I awoke the next morning I remembered that something significant had happened so I asked her about it only to discover it was worse than I feared. I froze.
While I can’t share specifics, suffice it to say it’s news that would make any parent panic. It’s like the call we received in 2019 from a stranger telling us that our daughter had been in a car crash. But this was worse.
I had already written and recorded a couple of episodes for the challenge, so I took a break from writing while we worked on the problem. But when it came time to start writing again the words stopped flowing. I went into my archives to find things I had written before that I could repurpose. That worked for a few days.
And then day 80 confronted me. I had nothing written or recorded. I spiraled into a new level of depression and felt stuck. In fact, I didn’t feel grateful and felt hypocritical telling others to be grateful, even though I knew that was part of my escape path.
For full article and show notes see: https://maninthepew.com/gc84
Do you feel appreciated at work? Do you know how to show appreciation to your co-workers?
Dr. Paul White and Dr. Gary Chapman did research to understand how the way we speak to one another at work makes a difference in the workplace culture. The result was a new work called The Five Languages of Appreciation.
In this episode, I walk through some of the things Dr. White learned and how we can help our companies become more grateful.
The Five Languages of Appreciation
Adapted from the 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman, these categories reveal how we relate and show appreciation at work:
- Words of affirmation - Shared by 46% of employees, many appreciate receiving verbal acknowledgment of their work and contributions to the team.
- Quality Time - 26% of employees value quality time with co-workers and leaders. They probably won’t appreciate an email or sticky note as a primary way of communicating news, but instead, desire to talk in-person or directly.
- Tangible Gifts - Only 6% of employees appreciate receiving a gift as the primary way of acknowledging performance.
- Physical Touch - In the workplace, a small percentage (<1%) of people find physical touch (high fives, handshakes, fist bumps) to be their primary language of appreciation.
- Act of Service - 22% of employees find great satisfaction when workers and leaders go out of their way to do something kind or assist with challenges without asking.
For the rest of the article and show notes, go to https://maninthepew.com/gc83
Have you ever received inauthentic gratitude or praise? How does that contrast with receiving authentic thanks?
We raise our children to say please and thank you, but it’s obvious when they don’t mean it. As they mature they learn to play the part and it becomes harder to tell if they mean it or not.
Dr. Paul White recently told me a story about a seminar he led for business leaders. The discussion turned to the importance of giving authentic appreciation. One leader asked him, “Isn’t it good enough that they believe you’re being authentic? After all, perception is reality, right?”
Dr. White responded that reality is reality and people can tell when you’re authentic. As a test of this brazened man’s approach, Paul asked the man’s co-workers if they would be likely to believe his words of praise when they went back to the office. They responded that they never have trusted anything he says.
Ouch!
For the full show notes, go here: https://maninthepew.com/gc82
When you approach God, how do you think about Him? Do you find it easy to thank him or does it feel like something you’re supposed to do?
When I was younger I saw God like a cosmic Santa who doled out gifts at his discretion. I wasn’t sure how Jesus and salvation fit into the equation, but I knew I wanted all the good stuff God promised.
As I grew older and saw God perform miracles, I grew in amazement at his power, his mercy, and his provision. But I still didn’t have categories for how to think about his wrath and judgment alongside his kindness and grace. I definitely couldn’t understand where talking donkeys fit into the world.
Our thoughts about God affect our thanks.
Larry Crabb asks the following questions about how we relate to God:
- Do you see God as a distant ruler who only gets involved with the major issues of your life?
- Does he seem more like a watchmaker who started your life and is only needed when something is broken?
- Are you more like a spoiled brat or a penniless beggar?
- Do you demand he come through for you or do you expect him to pass you by—just like everyone else in your life?
The way we think about God affects the way we thank him and the expectations we have of his involvement in our lives. Our thoughts on prayer even impact how often and how long we pray.
For the full article and show notes, see: https://maninthepew.com/gc81
Do you know how to worship God? Sounds like a silly question, especially in a series on gratitude. But this is a vital question, “Do you really know how to worship?”
Seventy years ago A.W. Tozer lamented that Christians had more resources for knowing about God than ever in the history of the Church. Yet, worship had become a ritualistic program. Twenty-five years ago, James Boice lamented that the problem had become even worse.
Neither of these authors could’ve predicted the explosion of worship resources we’ve seen in the last two decades. We have more worship songs, websites, training courses and books than you can image. Worship leaders can even obtain degrees in worship from many different colleges and seminaries.
You could say we’re more educated about worship. Yet, I still ask the question, “Do we know HOW to worship?”
The Church’s View of Psalm 95
The Church has used Psalm 95 as a call to worship (called the venite) since at least the 4th century. Many traditions even see Psalm 95 as creating a form for worship based on the three Hebrew words for the word “come.”
All this familiarity can cause one of two mistakes: 1) we just look for what makes us feel good in worship, and thereby ignore God’s stiff warnings in verses 7b and following; or 2) we miss God’s voice speaking to us and we start to worship the forms and rituals of worship (a most serious case of misplaced affections).
5 Ways Psalm 95 Teaches Us How to Worship
There are many things we can learn about worship from the 11 verses found in Psalm 95, but I want to focus on five:
For the full show notes, go here: https://maninthepew.com/gc80
Do you ever find it hard to focus and think clearly? Does it feel like your brain is a chaotic mess?
On day 31 we discussed the power of thankful thinking and how to make that a habit. Today I want to look at how our minds become chaotic and how we can use deep thinking to become more thankful.
This issue became very personal for me recently. My family received some news that triggered a spark of chaotic thinking that quickly unraveled months of discipline and focus. I woke up one day and couldn’t string together two coherent thoughts. I wound up taking a mental health day because I literally couldn’t think well enough to do even the most basic of tasks.
It was around this time when I heard Dr. Caroline Leaf describe chaotic thinking as the enemy of mental health. She compares deep thinking with overthinking, “Overthinking essentially taxes your ability to think deeply about any one thing, impeding your ability to examine and understand information.”
She goes on to say, “Overthinking can put your brain and body into negative stress, which can result in feelings of anxiety, depression, and fear, and may even cause panic attacks. In fact, ruminating on negative thoughts is one of the biggest predictors of mental ill-health.”
Wow. That described me on that day.
How do we move from chaotic thinking to thankful thinking?
I’ve discovered at least six steps we can take.
For the full show notes, see: https://maninthepew.com/gc79
Do you spend time thinking about your mortality? If you do, does it fill you with gratitude?
If you’re like most modern Christians, you spend as little time as possible thinking about death. Unless you’re an estate planner, pastor, doctor, or mortician, you likely don’t spend a lot of time even thinking about mortality. Our youth-driven culture keeps us in the constant pursuit of life through technology and science.
Todd Billings, a pastor and theologian, found this thought pattern disrupted by a diagnosis of incurable cancer. In his book, The End of the Christian Life, Billings calls us to embrace our mortality in our daily life and faith. He says, “This is the journey of genuine discipleship, following the crucified and resurrected Lord in a world of distraction and false hopes.”
Memento Mori: Remember death
The latin phrase memento mori means to “remember death.” It reminds us that we are mere mortals and to never get too big a view of ourselves. It’s also a tremendous reminder to cherish every moment.
The phrase originated when victorious Roman generals returned from battle. While they walked the streets—receiving the adulation of the crowds—a servant followed the general and whispered, “Respice post te! Hominem te esse memento! Memento mori!” Translated, this means, “Look behind you! Remember that you are but a man! Remember that you will die!”
3 Ways to Remember Death that Lead to Gratitude
Contrary to our modern aversion to discussing death in a meaningful way (outside of dramatized news reports and movies), there is tremendous benefit that comes through thoughtful remembering. Here are three ways...
Show notes: https://maninthepew.com/gc78
Do you ever find yourself ruminating over poor decisions you’ve made? Perhaps you become anxious over what might happen or what could have happened, and it makes you fearful.
I’ve experienced this recently. It feels like a fog envelops your mind and you can’t escape the negative thought cycles. A friend described it as a huge snowball that keeps gaining momentum as it rolls downhill—like an avalanche of thoughts. The only way to stop it is with the right strategies and outside help.
In The Fellowship of the Ring, J.R.R. Tolkein paints a picture of King Theoden getting caught in the mental web spun by Wormtongue. Theoden becomes increasingly incapacitated as he believes lies, and eventually, he can no longer think for himself.
Likewise, when we get caught ruminating over negative thoughts, we can find ourselves trapped in a web of our own making.
For complete show notes: maninthepew.com/gc77
Do you appreciate your life? What if you had a heart attack?
In this episode, I talk to Jackie Bledsoe about his near-death experience with a heart attack. We explore the profound role that gratitude plays in the recovery process.
The heart attack
At the age of 43, Jackie had a massive heart attack, known as a “Widowmaker.” He thought he could be dying and saw God orchestrate the lives of seven people to be at the right place at the right time to keep him alive. Several of them were supposed to be somewhere else, but in retrospect, it’s obvious God directed each of them to be there.
Jackie remains thankful daily as he knows he could have left his family without a husband, father, and son. He has a profound sense of mission as he knows God spared him for a reason.
The path to recovery
That doesn’t mean the road to recovery was easy. As a former athlete, Jackie had to learn to not push through the pain as the pain was a warning sign. But once his body recovered, he now has to tell his mind that he’s no longer injured. The body and mind don’t heal at the same speed!
Spiritually, he’s learning to remain on God’s spiritual heart surgery table. At times, he would prefer to get off and take things at his own pace. But after experiencing complete blockage in one of his major aortic valves, he understands the importance of allowing God to remove spiritual blockage from his heart (e.g. selfishness and pride).
The Role of Gratitude in Recovery
Not only does Jackie practice daily gratitude, but he also treasures every moment knowing that most people don’t survive a widowmaker heart attack.
Like Jackie, I’ve had a near-death experience and know that when we remember that we could have died, it gives us many reasons to be grateful each and every day.
Researchers at Harvard University discovered that gratitude is a key contributor to recovering from a heart attack. Jackie practices daily gratitude by remembering three distinct things for which he’s thankful. He also regularly retells the story of his heart attack recovery.
The Spiritual Recovery Team
Just as God orchestrated seven people to save Jackie’s life, he’s also seen the importance of allowing key people into the spiritual heart surgery and the recovery process. We falsely believe we can do it by ourselves, but God designed us to help one another.
QUESTION: Who’s on your spiritual recovery team?
Who is Jackie Bledsoe?
Jackie Bledsoe is a bestselling author and international speaker who's reached over 100,000 people with The 7 Rings of Marriage.
He and his wife, Stephana, are the founders of Happily Married Couples, a marriage brand that helps couples better connect and communicate, so they can create marriages worth celebrating.
You may have seen Jackie on Good Morning America, ABC News, WTHR (NBC Indianapolis), The 700 Club, Moody Radio, The Huffington Post, Yahoo!, CBN’s Turning Point International, YouVersion's Bible App, HomeLife Magazine, and more.
You can learn more about Jackie on his blog, https://jackiebledsoe.com/, and get help for your marriage at https://happilymarriedcouples.com.
For more episodes, see: https://maninthepew.com
Does it sometimes feel like God is severely punishing you? How do you respond when you are under duress?
Psalm 118 shows us that the way forward begins with thanksgiving. As we gratefully remember God’s past deliverance, we can pray for God to save us today and look forward to our final day of salvation.
But let’s be honest, singing songs of thanksgiving when you’re under duress or when it feels like you’re being disciplined doesn’t come naturally. It requires intentional discipline to remember what is true and it’s usually difficult.
5 Ways to be Thankful When Under Duress
Here are five ways Psalm 118 shows us to be thankful and how that leads to trust which increases our confidence and hope.
Show notes: https://maninthepew.com/gc75
Do you know how the compound effect works? How about compounding gratefulness?
Investment strategies based on wishful thinking usually end in greater debt and disappointment. For example, purchasing a daily lottery ticket will rarely result in enough winnings to even pay for that decision. But that doesn’t stop millions of dreaming of picking the “big one.”
Likewise, a diet strategy based on periodic fasts and challenges will ultimately only lead to yo-yo dieting which tends to lead to higher weights, not lower. I speak from experience.
When it comes to gratitude, we can’t just make ourselves more grateful by making a conscious choice to stop worrying and be thankful.
What’s needed is a complete reversal in how we approach change.
Show notes: maninthepew.com/gc74
Are you looking for deliverance? Do you want God to set you free from internal problems or external enemies?
In Psalm 144, David asks God to rescue him from unnamed enemies. He provides a model for how believers can pray for deliverance in the midst of any opposition.
It starts with our mindset. Will we think positively or negatively? Will our thoughts be thankful or ungrateful?
Today’s episode explores what we can learn from David’s prayers for deliverance.
Show notes: https://maninthepew.com/gc73
Does your family allow singing at the table? When’s the last time you sang at a business meeting?
Growing up, we weren’t allowed to sing at the table—or hum or whistle, for that matter. It went against all rules of etiquette. I didn’t question it at the time, but I wonder now who decided that rule?
And while there’s growing research and trends showing the benefits of singing at work and in all of life, we still tend to relegate singing to the culturally accepted places and times.
It’s time to change that. I believe we can all benefit from more singing.
Show notes: https://maninthepew.com/gc72
Have you ever felt caged or trapped in your work? What if I told you that it’s more likely that you created the mental cage? Breaking out begins with gratitude.
Many factors influence job satisfaction, but in general, over half of the American workforce is dissatisfied with their job. Those numbers increase or decrease based on workplace culture, opportunities for advancement, recognition, and benefits. (Here’s one study of many.)
One element most of the research I saw ignored is our mindset. If we have an abundant and grateful mindset, we are far more likely to find satisfaction in our work.
I can hear your voices now: “But Phil, you don’t know my boss.” Or, “My company has terrible benefits, and I feel stuck.” Or, “I haven’t had a raise in years, and my job doesn’t use my skills and abilities.”
You’re right. I don’t know what your situation is like, but I think there’s a different way to look at it.
Show notes: https://maninthepew.com/gc71
Do you enjoy growing a garden? If not, do you enjoy seeing beauty in nature or a carefully cultivated garden?
If I’m honest, I do not enjoy gardening. I have allergies, and I almost always have to stop early due to some kind of allergic reaction.
But I have one tree that I take great pride in, which I planted in my yard. We found a sapling growing where it didn’t belong and decided to strategically plant it. Now, it’s become a strong tree, able to withstand severe Kansas winds. Soon, it will provide significant shade for decades to come.
When it comes to replacing toxic thoughts, the process is similar to gardening. It involves not only pulling up the toxic weeds (er, thoughts) but also replacing them with new trees composed of good thoughts.
A friend of mine calls his tree the tree of righteousness. I’m going to suggest that we plant and cultivate a tree of thankfulness in our minds and hearts.
Show notes: maninthepew.com/gc70
Do you find yourself staring at the success of others and wishing you were more like them? Does it make you jealous or feel like you’re not enough? If you’ve said yes, you’ve experienced the comparison trap.
In this podcast episode, I interview Ian Anderson Gray about his experience with the comparison trap. We discuss things like self-doubt, how we measure ourselves, and the importance of God’s truth.
Ian is the founder of the Confident Live Marketing Academy and is the host of the Confident Live Marketing Podcast. He helps entrepreneurs to level up their impact, authority, and profits by using live video confidently. As well as being a geek, husband, and dad to two kids, Ian is also a professional singer and lives near Manchester in the UK.
Ian was also a guest on episode 45, where we discussed the imposter syndrome, the wicked cousin to the comparison trap. Ian also has a fun giveaway ending on February 4, 2021.
We also explored comparison back on Day 46 of this Gratitude Challenge.
Be sure to listen to the very end for Ian’s fun new jingle for Man in the Pew.
Show notes: maninthepew.com/gc69
Have you ever been part of a conversation where it’s obvious the other person doesn’t understand your point? Have you ever stopped at that moment to wonder if you’re truly listening to their perspective?
Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. ~Stephen R. Covey
The truth is, it’s easier to hear than to speak, but it’s hard to listen with the desire to understand and appreciate.
I think gratitude plays an important role in improving our listening skills. And as a result of becoming better listeners, we will also become more grateful.
Show notes: maninthepew.com/gc68
Do you ever wake in the middle of the night with a dreadful thought? Does your mind quickly focus on negative issues? Those thoughts become toxic when we feed them too much and they start to consume us.
Recently, I had just finished reading a very emotional piece to my wife. I was in a vulnerable place, and she asked me a simple question driven by a genuine and right desire. My mind received it as criticism that I wasn’t doing enough. I quickly became defensive.
In the past, I might have gone down a path toward a toxic wasteland, but this Gratitude Challenge has taught me a few things that helped me avoid that.
I’m not alone. Sean Grover is a psychotherapist, and he tells about his own experience of recovering from toxic thoughts through the simple power of gratitude journaling. Dr. Caroline Leaf also has a process that helps people identify and replace toxic thoughts.
7 Steps to Replace Toxic Thoughts with Thankfulness
Based on my experience, here are seven steps to replace toxic thoughts with gratitude.
Show notes: maninthepew.com/gc67
Did you know that 80% of all people break their New Year’s Resolutions by Valentine’s Day? Have you experienced this trap?
Why do you think that is?
Pastor Craig Groeschel thinks it’s because we’re trying too hard. Instead, we need to approach life like an athlete approaches training.
Neuroscientist Dr. Caroline Leaf proves it’s because we’re going about it the wrong way. She believes we can literally perform brain surgery on ourselves (not with knives, but with thoughts).
Were you aware that master performers still hire coaches? You might think that once you reach a certain level of proficiency, you no longer need a coach. After all, you’re already the best.
We explored how that’s true for athletes in our conversation about resiliency, but I was surprised to learn that professional musicians still have coaches. It doesn’t mean the coach is better, but the coach has permission to mettle.
In this article, we’re going to allow Dr. Leaf to be our coach.
Show notes: maninthepew.com/gc66
Have you made a bold claim or shared an audacious vision? Did you gulp after you said it and realized now you need to make good on your word or feel like a fraud? That’s how my journey toward gratitude started.
On November 13, 2020, I wrote a provocative article about why gratitude matters. I wrote it to prepare myself for Thanksgiving, but I also knew intuitively it was something I needed to think about more deeply.
At the end of the article, I whimsically said, “So I’m wondering who wants to join a 90-day Gratitude Challenge?” I gave a few details on what I promised and forgot about it.
Almost immediately, several people said they wanted to join me. My wife got excited and started inviting dozens of her friends. Before long, there were 50+ people in a private Facebook group.
Internally, I thought, “What have I got myself into?” But I knew there was no turning back.I decided this was the perfect time to launch “7 Minute Prayers,” an audio devotional I’ve been wanting to do for two years. I also committed to writing a daily article and include some kind of daily challenge and prayer.
Show notes: maninthepew.com/gc65
Do you ever feel intense loneliness? Like you’re the only person in the world who’s fighting the battles you face?
It happens often and it’s a self-reinforcing cycle. When you feel lonely you don’t want to reach out or acknowledge the problems you face, and, as a result, you think you’re alone.
For example, I’m in a couple of different men’s prayer groups. I appreciate it when someone boldly shares that they struggle to manage alcohol or some other addiction. It makes it acceptable for others to admit the same struggle. Suddenly the shame, isolation, and the power of the addiction can be broken.
But it’s not instantaneous and the deeper the feelings of isolation and loneliness the longer the path to recovery.
Show notes: maninthepew.com/gc64
Have you ever been down to your last few dollars in your bank account or wallet? Since you’re still alive enough to read or hear this, I suspect you have a story you could tell of God’s provision in those desperate moments.
Angus Nelson, on day 62, told the story of when he and his wife went on a luxury cruise with clients while only having a few hundred dollars left in the bank. They knew they needed to sell their house and downsize. When they got home their house sold in record time and as soon as they got into a smaller apartment they watched God rebuild their family finances. It’s a God-story they will never forget.
Confidence in God’s Provision
In the Psalms, we see many songs of thanksgiving. Often they were offering thanks for something God had already accomplished: rescued from enemies, healed from diseases, or the forgiveness of sins. The Hebrew word most often used is hodah which means to confess or acknowledge. They confessed the good things God has done. They also used a related word todah which means songs of thanksgiving or songs of sacrifice.
For the rest of the show notes go to: maninthepew.com/112
Do you struggle to remain thankful? Do you find your mind slowly slipping from a grateful mindset into a negative mindset?
It happens to all of us. It doesn’t have to be inevitable.
Today’s episode is with Angus Nelson, a Men’s Performance Coach. He believes it all starts with your mindset which is formed by renewing your mind through creating the right habits. In other words, it’s what you believe about God, yourself, and the world that will affect your outlook on life.
Your mindset is based on your beliefs
For example, do you truly believe the following?
- God is a God of abundance (Psalm 65:11).
- The kingdom of God is constantly expanding (Mark 4:26-27).
- God loves me without condition (1 Cor. 13).
- I am more than enough because God is more than enough (Ps. 68:28).
- I have what it takes (2 Cor. 12:9).
- Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross is truly sufficient for all my sins: past, present, and future (2 Cor. 2:6).
If you believe the opposite of these, you will increasingly embrace a negative mindset. But if you consistently rehearse these truths, your mind will grow in strength and confidence.
We discussed this idea on Day 31 when we talked about Thankful Thinking.
It starts with the brain
Your brain is the “number solution organ on the planet.” It wants to solve problems, starting with your beliefs about yourself.
“What you hear about you think about. What you think about you talk about. What you talk about you bring about.”
--Angus Nelson
Change your mindset through habits, not goals
Setting goals will not solve mindset issues. In fact, goals can cause you to coast once you meet the goal.
Instead we need to create new neuropathways. New mental habits. The best way to do that is to create a daily manifest or set of beliefs that we will rehearse.
Science shows us that information attached to emotion has far more power to transform us. Reciting information will lead to boredom and could possibly innoculate us to the truths we rehearse. But if we learn to practice intentionally and attach emotions to each statement it can lead to transformation.
Angus created the 10 Minute Motivator to help anyone who wants to make daily changes in how they think and live.
LINK: https://www.manofwealth.com/10minutemotivator
The role of discipline in mindset
Pastor Craig Groeschel said: “Discipline is choosing what you want most over what you want now.” Creating a new set of mental routines will be hard work, but it’s well worth it.
More from Angus:
First interview with Angus: https://maninthepew.com/recover-rock-bottom-angus-nelson/
CHALLENGE:
Create a daily plan for training your mind to think more thankfully about God, yourself, and your life. Perhaps use Angus’s course. If you want to see my manifest, reach out privately and I’ll show you what I did.
PRAYER:
Father, I praise you that your kingdom is constantly growing. We see in the church where 3000 people followed you on a single day. We know that thousands call on your name every day across the globe today. Forgive us that we get focused on our problems and forget your abundant nature. Renew our minds to think the way you think. Give us grateful hearts. We pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.
BIO:
Angus Nelson is a Men’s Performance Coach and Founder of the transformational lifestyle brand, EvolveMen. He helps high-achieving men evolve their lives through his Conscious Design Lifestyle™ to align purpose and effortlessly transform their leadership, love, and legacy. He’s worked with Fortune 500 executives and, hosts the podcast, “Up In Your Business”, and has spoken for brands like Walmart, Whole Foods, BMW, Coca-Cola, & Adobe.
Angus is married with three children, living in Nashville, Tennessee. He loves all things human behavior, Green Bay Packers and nachos.
Day 61: 90-Day Gratitude Challenge
Have you ever felt like running and hiding due to shame? How thankful did you feel in that moment?
Author and counselor Dan Allender says shame can feel like quicksand where we pull away from relationships and reality and slide into a pit of despair. Can you relate? I can.
Show notes: maninthepew.com/gc61
Day 60: Gratitude Challenge
Is there really a difference between gratitude and appreciation? Does it make a difference in how we live?
While the differences may appear to be semantical at first, the distinction can prove vitally important in how we live our lives.
Show notes: https://maninthepew.com/gc60
Gratitude Challenge Day 59
Do you find it difficult to remain grateful on some days? Does it ever annoy you to see people who seem to be grateful all the time?
Join the club! The writer of Proverbs can relate:
A loud and cheerful greeting early in the morning will be taken as a curse! Proverbs 27:14 NLT
Researchers have discovered that some of us are indeed hard-wired to be more grateful. Whether our genes, our brains, or even our personalities, there are many factors working for or against our grateful disposition.
But that doesn’t mean we can’t become more grateful. Gratefulness is fundamentally a choice and the emotions will eventually follow.
We’ve documented extensively through this challenge the many benefits and challenges to gratitude. In this episode, I’d like to discuss a couple of biblical reminders that can help us on those days we don’t “feel” like being thankful.
Do you wonder if gratitude belongs at work? Doesn’t competition mean I need to keep a guarded attitude with my co-workers?
Over the last fifteen years, researchers have studied the effects of gratitude on health, well-being, and organizational culture. The consensus is that gratitude makes an enormous personal and corporate difference.
Even if there’s a dark side of gratitude, the benefits by far outweigh the risks. Here are five ways to create a culture of gratitude at work.
What is the opposite of relentless? Some would say intermittent, short-lived, or irresolute. I think it’s settled.
Let me explain.
While the Apostle Paul encourages us to discover contentment in our circumstances (Phil 4:10-19), he also challenges us to approach faith like a soldier or athlete embraces discipline.
In 1 Cor: 9:24, he says: “Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win!”
If we want to grow in righteousness or gratefulness, it makes sense that we would develop a relentless focus. While being grace-filled, it’s also possible to create a disciplined life that presses toward the prize of God’s blessing, “Well done, my good and faithful servant!”
Have you ever been in a dark pit? One where you feel stuck and every time you try to climb out you keep slipping back down? Can you imagine singing in the bottom of a swamp?
Psalm 40 shows David in a slimy pit crying out to God for deliverance. In faith, he declares that he will sing God’s praises when he’s been delivered.
What kind of trouble is he in? More than he can count. More than the hairs on his head.
What can we learn about thankfulness from the David, the Singing King?
Do you know someone with cancer? Perhaps you’re fighting a battle with cancer even today?
My father-in-law fought off cancer, against all odds, and lived another nineteen years. It doesn’t always work out like that.
How do you live gratefully when faced with the prospect of dying prematurely?
In this interview, I discuss with Kep Crabb, founder of Larger Story, how he’s responding to his wife’s recent diagnosis of stage 4 lung cancer. He talks about how it’s shaping the way he lives each day. He describes how his prayers are changing, and how his longing for heaven is intensifying. Things that used to matter a lot, like playing music, don’t have nearly the same level of appeal.
Do you ever find yourself saying, “I can’t do that?” Perhaps you have a valid reason.
I have two friends with stage 4 cancer. Another friend recently lost her husband to accidental death.
If they told you they couldn’t do something right now, wouldn’t you be inclined to give them a pass?
That’s what I thought, too, until I read Matthew 14.
You’ve heard the cliches. “The grass is always greener on the other side.” Or “One man’s junk is another man’s treasure.” Discontentment abounds when we lose our gratitude.
We’ve probably all seen something like this happen: A man grows discontent in his work so he starts looking around. He sees friends changing jobs and thinks this will make him happy. He discovers what looks like the perfect job. Six months later, or maybe after two years, he feels dissatisfied yet again.
The same thing can happen in marriage, with our houses, and even in our lives. We desire a different life based on jealousy, envy, or discontentment that’s stirred by social media and our thought patterns.
Have you lost someone you love to death recently? If not, have you had to completely let go of a job, a relationship, or a dream?
You may be thinking this feels awfully morbid and how can I possibly be thankful in the face of death? It’s a fair question.
While I’m not a grief counselor, I have experienced my share of death. My father passed away due to an accidental fall. I have multiple friends who have suddenly passed away through accidents, illness, COVID, and for other reasons. I have several friends who’ve been given the death sentence of cancer at far too young an age.
Death is natural, but not God’s design
Do you regularly practice gratitude as a family or church community? How is that different from personal gratitude?
Life.Church recently celebrated their 25th anniversary. As part of their celebration they thanked God for thousands of changed lives, stories of God’s amazing provision, and the unprecedented opportunities for sharing the Gospel. It was very moving and God-honoring.
It got me thinking about how Western Christians tend to practice our faith very individualistically. What might it take to be grateful together?
Have you ever felt depressed? I don’t mean just when you feel a little melancholy, but when you feel like you’re in a dark cave for days on end and can’t seem to climb out?
In this Gratitude Challenge, I’ve been advocating the benefits of gratitude for freeing us from anxiety and stress while also producing a protective shield around our hearts and minds. Scripture clearly teaches this is possible, but what about when it doesn’t happen? What about when we’re medically depressed? Should the intentional practice of gratitude be our only remedy?
Let’s talk about this.
CAUTION: I’m not a doctor or a licensed therapist. If you feel depressed for more than a few days you should likely talk to your doctor or a therapist.
Ever feel like you’re being attacked on every side? Do you wish you could have a protective wall around you allowing you to finally rest?
Scripture reveals God as our refuge and strong tower. He is a real strength and a constant never-sleeping guard.
But what’s our role in building up those walls? No surprise here, but gratitude is a critical ingredient.
Gratitude won’t keep you from all harm, but it will make you more resilient. Gratefulness strengthens your faith and helps you get back up when you fall.
Have you ever played a musical instrument? Were you deliberate about practicing or did your parents have to force you?
Gerald J. Leonard claims that professional musicians spend 95% of their time practicing and only 5% on stage. He should know...
Gerald is a professional jazz musician, a Portfolio Management Professional consultant, and the author of two books: Culture is the Bass and, his new book, Workplace Jazz. As a lover of neuroscience, he understands the importance of deliberate practice.
In this conversation, we explore the unexpected connection between deliberate practice and gratitude.
Do you struggle to remain grateful through your day? How about in your closest relationships? Do your closest friends and family also struggle to remain thankful?
Jim Rohn famously said: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
So if you tend to spend time with negative people, you will remain negative. If you feed your mind with positive information, your mind will follow suit.
Let’s explore how this works.
Have you ever felt caught in the comparison trap? Do you know what I mean? It’s where we constantly compare ourselves to the rich, the famous, the successful or the beautiful and slowly start to despise and devalue our gifts and abilities.
President Teddy Roosevelt famously said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” While it almost sounds biblical, this truth still confronts an ugly problem we all face.
Do you struggle to get a good’s night sleep? Does your mind race as you rehearse conversations, invent new products, or stress over the things you didn’t accomplish?
Researchers have confirmed what the Bible has taught for millennia: gratitude helps you sleep better.
How do you respond to the discomfort of a pebble in your shoe? What about when it’s a more serious illness?
Discomfort, pain, and illness challenge us mightily when we hear Paul’s words, “Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice!” (Phil. 4:4 NLT). How am I supposed to rejoice when I’m sick, depressed, or irritated?
Pastor Joe McGreever tells the story of Jack Hinton, who led a mission trip to a leper colony on Tobago. Toward the end of their trip, they held a worship service. One of the lepers entered the room, sitting on the back row with her face turned away from the stage. When Jack asked for song requests, she turned around and with a huge smile requested the song, “Count Your Blessings.”
If a leper can learn to praise God in the midst of her suffering, perhaps we can find a way to thank God in the midst of our minor discomforts or major life tragedies.
Do you take time to think thankfully about those who have gone before you? What does your hall of faith look like?
Do you want to know God better? Do you want to become more thankful? According to the Bible, the answer is simple: study.
Psalm 111 puts it clearly: a) worship God with thankfulness, b) study his works, and c) follow God’s words if you want to know God and find wisdom and understanding.
Does gratitude ever feel like a panacea or unachievable? Are we giving thankfulness too much credit?
The benefits of gratitude abound. It increases our faith and resilience. Thankfulness leads to stronger relationships and health. Grateful people experience greater joy and handle life’s problems more easily.
Biologically we can observe how gratefulness rewires our brain releasing chemicals that make us feel better and allow blood to flow more easily which frees us to think more creatively and clearly. And when we choose to think gratefully every day, the reticular activator reinforces those things we choose to think about.
So physical, spiritual, and relational benefits abound. But there is a dark side of gratitude we don’t like to think about.
Do you love waiting in line? How about waiting on God’s timing?
Our culture drives us to get results. Yesterday. We look for ways to speed up and become more efficient. We’re impatient when someone makes us wait or slow down.
So it makes sense that we grow impatient in our pursuit of becoming more grateful.
Do you ever take time to look back at answered prayers? How does God’s past faithfulness fuel your present gratefulness?
Early in my career, I traveled for three months visiting college campuses and churches to encourage and inspire them in their missionary service. We saw God move in powerful ways.
Once a week our team of four sat down for an hour and thanked God for ways he moved during the previous week. One of us would write down as many of these items as possible in our team journal. At the end of three months, we had a journal full of thanksgiving and it inspired all of our faith to see the names of people God had touched and ways God provided for us.
When God answers your prayers, how do you respond?
Which comes first: generosity or gratitude? Do you find it easier to be grateful or generous?
It’s probably like the chicken and egg debate. In this case, they both flow from love and that love produces abundant joy which results in generosity and gratitude.
I like to summarize it like this: Radical generosity in response to generous grace results in abundant gratitude and joy.
In his second letter to the Corinthians, Paul commends the Macedonian church for their rich generosity. His words help us see at least seven ways to become more intentionally generous and how that can reinforce gratitude in our lives.
Have you made big plans that turned into an even bigger disappointment? How do you remain hopeful when things don’t go as you desired?
If this hasn’t happened to you, yet, I’m sure you’ve seen it happen many times over.
What shattered dreams do you have? Did you plan to be married by now? Were you expecting to have made partner already? Have you let your kids down again because you couldn’t take them on a dream vacation? Is your marriage less than what you hoped?
Here are 4 ways to turn disappointment into gratitude.
Do you love the city where you live? Or do you merely tolerate it or even despise it?
How about your neighborhood or your house?
Jeremiah wrote to the people of Judah as they went into exile for 70 years. Instead of constantly pining for home, he told them: “Work for the peace and prosperity of the city where I sent you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, for its welfare will determine your welfare.” Jer 29:7 NLT
He acknowledges they may feel like foreigners and don’t belong, but they can decide whether to make this their home and work for its prosperity. It’s emotionally and psychologically impossible to work for peace and remain resentful. Gratitude can replace hatred and discontent through a series of conscious choices.
Have you ever experienced times of trouble to the point where it felt like you couldn’t move on? Perhaps you’ve been on the verge of death or known someone who is?
How do your prayers change in these seasons? What if your prayers had that same sense of desperation all the time? Do your prayers stay stuck in the mire or do you end in praise and thanksgiving?
Psalm 116 is one of the most personal psalms and it reveals some important insights into how to pray and how to respond gratefully to God’s initiative.
Do you struggle with jealousy or envy? How do you help your children overcome these temptations?
Jealousy rears its ugly head at the most inopportune times.
The Book of Proverbs teaches, “Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?”
James addressed this in his letter and provides four ways to overcome jealousy.
Have you ever faced a battle or challenge in your life that seemed insurmountable? How did that make you feel? I suspect you didn’t list gratitude among your feelings.
Researcher Robert Emmons acknowledges the difference between feeling grateful and being grateful. We can’t easily affect our feelings in the face of depression, economic challenges, or relational conflict. We can, however, choose to be grateful which allows us to gain perspective and maintain resilience in the midst of whatever battle we face.
Here are 6 ways to be grateful in battle...
Did you know Jesus intercedes for you? Right now? Constantly.
Perhaps you need to be reminded of this today. Here are five things Jesus prays for you, as revealed in his prayer in John 17, with a short prayer of thanks in response.
Does thankful thinking come naturally for you? Or do you find it easier to be negative, critical, or jealous?
I’ve discovered my ability to think thankfully directly relates to how deeply I think.
Which is easier to teach your children: entitlement or gratitude? Which is easier for you?
According to some scholars, we live in the Age of Entitlement. Author Randy Alcorn observed, however, that we’ve merely perfected the art of entitlement. The people of Israel first demonstrated entitlement on scale as they left Egypt into the 40 years of wandering.
As we earlier discussed, reciprocity and selfishness oppose gratitude. Entitlement must be combatted to make room in our minds and hearts for thankfulness to prevail.
How many bibles do you have in your house? How many of them do you actively read? I encourage you to count how many copies of scripture you own at some point soon.
If you’re like me, there’s a story behind each of the bibles. One I received from my parents, another upon graduation, another while I was in seminary, and another from a church I served.
Have you ever thanked the people who gave you each bible you own? How about the people who gave you a love for scripture?
Today, I want to focus on 4 ways we can express thanks for how God’s word shapes our lives.
When you look at the mirror do you like who you see? Or do you count the things you don’t like? Do you wish you could be fully known and fully loved? God knows us better than we know ourselves and loves us beyond our imagination.
When I believe this, it leads me to greater levels of thankfulness. When I don’t believe this, I find myself bitter, angry, and resentful.
Do you feel like gratitude is a habit? Or does it feel unnatural? I believe you can create momentum through a series of intentional choices.
Here’s a test: when you face anxiety-producing circumstances how do you respond? Does it keep you awake at night? Do your dreams turn negative and reinforce the anxiety? Or do you find ways to be thankful in prayer?
I recently had several anxiety-producing events occur within a short period of time. I’ll confess that it disrupted my sleep and my dreams turned negative and agitated.
So I decided I would put gratitude to the test. Here are five things I learned. Most of them are common sense. They also form a fun acronym of MOPED. Designed to get you moving!
Do you enjoy the tastes and smells of a delicious meal? How about the sights and sounds of a beautiful sunset? Scripture calls us to taste and see that the Lord is good, but I think all five of our senses can lead us to greater thankfulness.
Do you ever find yourself bored or stuck in the daily grind of life? Does it feel difficult to give thanks when life feels monotonous and uneventful?
Today we are we will explore 5 ways to give thanks in the daily grind.
What do you think is the opposite of gratitude? Do you think it’s ingratitude?
I think I’ve been getting it all wrong. Just yesterday on Day 23 I suggested that reciprocity might be the greatest enemy of thankfulness.
Then I spoke with a counselor friend of mine. We talked about the root system of sin in our lives and how we tend to just pull off the leaves and leave the roots untouched.
If you have an area of sin in your life that’s affected you for years or decades, it’s likely there’s a deep root system with many emotions connected to it. Gardners know it’s hard work to unroot noxious weeds. How much more so, the noxious sin patterns in our lives?!
When you receive a gift do you feel compelled to reciprocate? When you give a gift do you also expect something in return? If we’re honest, reciprocity can undermine our gratefulness.
Today we are studying why reciprocity might actually be the enemy of gratitude.
Ever wake up and just want to roll back over? Being thankful seems like the last thing on your mind when you’re lying sick in bed or overwhelmed by the circumstances of life.
But that’s exactly when we need to be thankful.
Top Ten Reasons to be Thankful (even if you don’t feel like it)
Have you ever been wrongly accused? Perhaps you’ve felt misunderstood or misjudged? I certainly have.
How do we move from feeling mistreated to expressing gratefulness? Let’s watch how that happens for David in Psalm 7.
Are you thankful for your family? Even when they’re imperfect?
If we’re honest, families provide a mixed bag of blessings, negative memories, and curses. How are we supposed to be thankful for those who caused deep hurt in our lives?
I believe it’s possible to be deeply thankful for all the blessings of our families while remaining honest about the painful memories and even the ongoing hurt caused by our families.
Do you remember your day of salvation? Has it become a faded memory or does it seem like yesterday?
In reflecting on the power of the gospel, we can find many reasons to be grateful. Today, I want to look specifically at the day God saved us.
Have you adopted a child or were you adopted? I have many friends who adopted children because they couldn’t biologically have their own children. It’s one of the most powerful expressions of human love.
A mother and father accept a child who feels rejected by his birth parents and give him all the love and rights of natural children. It’s a profound decision that is costly (usually 10s of thousands of dollars), sacrificial, and life-changing.
And it doesn’t always go well. Adopted children sometimes grow to resent their adopted parents. Some come with trauma and illness requiring extensive treatment and extra measures of love.
The Christian parents I know who adopted children say it’s one of the single greatest things they ever did. They live with a constant reminder of God’s love.
You see, God adopted us. He now calls us sons and daughters. We can now call him Daddy.
Our adoption shows us many reasons to be thankful. Let’s explore a few:
Are you grateful to be alive? Have you had a near-death experience or lost a friend or family member prematurely?
How we process these experiences influences whether we become grateful or ungrateful people.
Have you ever had something taken away that you thought you would have forever? How does that feel? Were you able to remain thankful after losing something you took for granted?
Our tendency to take things, relationships, or life for granted can lead to unthankfulness or resentment. However, it can also cause us to cherish life all the more.
The choice is ours, sort of. Let’s explore why it’s easier to take things for granted than it is to be thankful at all times.
Do you struggle to be grateful? Join the club. Most of us need to cultivate the habit of gratefulness.
The Greater Good Science Center commissioned the Expanding Gratitude Project to fund 27 different projects to understand the power of gratitude. One researcher penned some of his results as Six Habits of Highly Grateful People. I liked his title but decided to see what habits I would notice in scripture.
Let’s study two highly grateful believers to see what habits they share.
Do you ever find yourself in a pit and don’t know how to get out? How do you respond when you’re in a fight with someone you love? That seems like the last place and time to gratefully acknowledge God’s presence, but that’s exactly what scripture calls us to do.
Psalm 136 reminds us of three important things that give us hope and confidence in the middle of whatever we face in life.
Other than your parents, what mentor has had the biggest impact on your life? Have you ever taken the time to express how thankful you are for them?
A good mentor believes in you, prays for you, challenges you, and will be there when you fall down. A great mentor sees your potential and knows how to draw it out.
Have you ever thought about the miracle of Israel’s wandering in the wilderness for forty years? I’ve always marveled that they weren’t more thankful for the daily manna. Let’s put ourselves in their metaphorical sandals for a few moments.
Do you know an addict who’s been freed from their addiction? Perhaps you know someone who’s been rescued from sex trafficking? These kinds of redemption stories provide great reasons to give thanks.
When you look at creation how do you respond? Does it lead to gratefulness?
I’m with David on this one. When I look at the heavens in their splendor, I wonder who am I that the God who created all things even thinks about me? (see Psalm 8:3-4)
In reflecting on God’s creation, I’d like to consider four ways creation can inspire gratitude.
Why do you think it’s easier to be ungrateful than it is to be grateful? We all can come up with many excuses. I think there’s one central reason, but it may not be what you expect.
On Day 2 of the Gratitude Challenge, we looked at the grumpy old man and the cranky old woman none of us want to turn into. Today I want to take a closer look at why gratitude comes unnaturally or said in converse, why many of us are ungrateful.
Why do you think it’s easier to be ungrateful than it is to be grateful? We all can come up with many excuses. I think there’s one central reason, but it may not be what you expect.
On Day 2 of the Gratitude Challenge, we looked at the grumpy old man and the cranky old woman none of us want to turn into. Today I want to take a closer look at why gratitude comes unnaturally or said in converse, why many of us are ungrateful.
Are you a forgetful person? Or are you more like the Memory Man who can’t forget anything?
Memory plays a powerful role in our lives. How we allow our memories to feed our minds and hearts can influence whether we become thankful or resentful people.
“Preach the gospel to yourself every day," said Jerry Bridges.
Why would we need to do that if we're already Christians?
Here’s my take: Because we have short memories and we need frequent reminders of our need for God’s saving mercy.
In this article, I’m going to explore seven reasons why we can be thankful for the gospel.
When is a good time to be thankful? I think intuitively we know it’s not just on Thanksgiving Day. If we’re honest, that can become the most contentious day of the year for many families. People who are bonded by blood, but not ideology, passions, or careers, get together to share a meal and pass out in front of football games.
That’s not your home? It’s okay. My point remains, gratitude seems to be a daily issue, not an annual one. Let’s explore seven times scripture calls us to be thankful.
Do you ever find yourself at a loss for words when giving thanks to someone? Does it feel empty, shallow, or inauthentic?
I suspect we’ve all been there. Sometimes it’s challenging to find the right way to express thanks. Other times we know we’re going through the motions. Some of us are better actors than others.
How does that work with God?
Listen in to hear some ways to grow in thankfulness toward God.
Have you ever been at the Thanksgiving dinner table and asked your family and friends to share something they are thankful for? Ever fall into a thankful rut? Certain topics feel safe, appropriate, and even “spiritual”, but we don’t allow the Spirit to inspire our imaginations to notice the myriad of things we can be thankful for.
This episode will highlight seven general themes that can serve us immediately as we gather around the Thanksgiving table or anytime we pray.
Do you want to be closer to God, make more friends, create a greater impact in this world, and live a longer more stress-free life?
The solution is simple but profoundly difficult. Modern science now confirms the answer the Bible has taught for millennia: be grateful.
Let’s take a brief look at the benefits of gratitude as revealed in the bible and modern science. There are at least 7 benefits we can explore.
If you’ve spent any time around small children, you’re well aware that toddlers can be cute and quite demanding. A comedian once said that he could rule the world with an army of three-year-olds.
Children have to be taught to be thankful whereas selfishness, jealousy, and entitlement come quite naturally.
As Christians, we understand we inherited our sinful nature from our first parents, Adam and Eve. Let’s explore why gratitude comes so unnaturally, even when we know it’s good for us.
Have you ever been around grumpy old men? Does it make your heart sing to be with cranky old women who criticize everything and everyone?
Do you enjoy hanging out with ungrateful children? Ungrateful children often become grumpy old men and cranky old women.
As a parent, I tried to teach my children to say please and thank you. But I know those are only words. True gratefulness comes from a change of heart.
Are your prayers a ritual, transactional, arguments or conversations? Do you prayers feel like you're casting spells or incantations or is all of life prayer?
Tom Schwab, founder and chief evangelist officer for Interview Valet, grew up learning rote prayers, grew to a place where was him giving advice to God and as an adult he is learning to have conversations with God.
“Sit down and shut up; you’re not God.”--Tom Schwab
How long would your marriage last if you only spoke once a week?
Learning to pray is similar to the way children learn to talk. We start by mimicking those around us. As we grow older we learn how to speak more clearly through models and rules. When we reach adolescence we learn to discuss, debate, present and critique. Once we become adults we learn to have deep meaningful conversations that are intellectual, emotional and spiritual.
In prayer, we move from infant babbling to childlike rhymes and songs to the creative expressions of youth. If we're fortunate enough to approach adultlike maturity, our prayers become a two-way street where we listen more than we talk and yet we're able to be fully honest with God.
Ritual prayers aren't bad if we learn to slow down and think about what we're praying. But if we speed through them so we can get to what we want, they become like Christian magic, except they have no potency.
When Jesus taught the disciples to pray the Lord's prayer, he was aware of their tendency to make this another meaningless ritual which is why he frequently accuses the Pharisees of empty prayers that are intended for others to hear. God hears the prayers of the humble man, not the boaster.
Let us know how this conversation is helpful in your prayer walk with God.
"If we’re never communicating with God, how can our relationship grow?"
63% of Christians admit to being easily distracted while they pray.
5 Reasons why we should pray:
- Building our relationship with the Father T
- o encourage others
- To get perspective - Eph. 3:14-19; Psalm 73
- Help us overcome temptation and negativity
- We pray because Jesus prayed
3 Things We Can Do Each Day
- Start with a focus on why am I praying today?
- Find someone to pray with.
- Ask how God to fill me and change me before answering this request
- Find opportunities to pray for others
Finding Dave:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/davescott/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/davecscott
Website: http://scottdigitalmarketing.com/
Have you seen the musical Hamiton? It's been a greatly popular musical in recent years. Rosie O’Donnell even went so far as to call it “medicine that I need for my soul. It is vital to me; it feels like going to church.”
Ever feel like you don’t have enough time to pray? When you do have time do you know how to pray more effectively?
Ever wonder if God is listening?
In this episode, Phil Mershon explores some of these issues and makes a big announcement about Man in the Pew.
Do you suffer from imposter syndrome? The feeling that you’re going to be discovered to be a fraud. Someone might find you don’t have the skills, knowledge or experience needed for your work or calling.
These are all lies, but they sneak in very subtly to our thinking.
As believers, we can embrace the truth that God is our power and He equips us for everything he asks us to do.
In this interview with Ian Anderson Gray, we explore how this issue cripples many believers and ways we can be set free to pursue God's plans for our lives.
What is the path to recovery after you’ve hit rock bottom?
What do you do after you self-destruct? Will God still accept you? Is there a reason to be hopeful?
Angus Nelson ruined his first marriage and wallowed in the pit of despair for three years. He had to resign from his ministry positions. People asked behind his back what he was going to destroy next.
It seemed pointless to keep trying.
Then he discovered God’s undeserved grace. He realized that the gospel changes you forever and it happens every day.
It can change you too.