Crime Archives - Futility Closet: Recent Episodes
None
Under Roman law, subjects found guilty of patricide were subjected to poena cullei, the “penalty of the sack” — they were sewn into a leather sack with a snake, a cock, a monkey, and a dog and thrown into water.
In his Life of Artaxerxes, Plutarch describes an ancient Persian method of execution known as scaphism in which vermin devour a victim trapped between mated boats:
Taking two boats framed exactly to fit and answer each other, they lie down in one of them the malefactor that suffers, upon his back; then, covering it with the other, and so setting them together that the head, hands, and feet of him are left outside, and the rest of his body lies shut up within, then forcing him to ingest a mixture of milk and honey before pouring all over his face and body. They then keep his face continually turned towards the sun; and it becomes completely covered up and hidden by the multitude of flies that settle on it. And as within the boats he does what those that eat and drink must needs do, creeping things and vermin spring out of the corruption and rottenness of the excrement, and these entering into the bowels of him, his body is consumed.
Happily Plutarch seems to have based his account on a report by the Greek historian Ctesias, whose reliability has been questioned, so perhaps this never happened.
After his Connecticut home was burgled in September 1908, Mark Twain posted a sign on the front door:
NOTICE
To the Next Burglar
There is nothing but plated ware in this house now and henceforth.
You will find it in that brass thing in the dining-room over in the corner by the basket of kittens.
If you want the basket put the kittens in the brass thing.
Do not make a noise — it disturbs the family.
You will find rubbers in the front hall by that thing which has the umbrellas in it, chiffonier, I think they call it, or pergola, or something like that.
Please close the door when you go away!
Very truly yours,
S.L. Clemens
In 1788, when two thieves were arrested for robbing an Edinburgh excise office, they identified a surprising accomplice — William Brodie, a respected city councilor and president of a local trade guild.
Brodie had been leading a double life, using his day job as a cabinetmaker and locksmith to learn about residents’ security practices and to make copies of their keys, then becoming a housebreaker by night, robbing the same customers.
It appears he’d kept this up for 20 years. He was using the proceeds of the burglaries to fund a gambling career and to support five children he’d had by two different mistresses.
After the discovery he fled, but the authorities caught up to him in Amsterdam as he prepared to leave for America.
He was hanged before a crowd of 40,000 people, and his double identity helped inspire Robert Louis Stevenson to write Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.
In 1819, as the Bank of England struggled against counterfeiters, T.C. Hansard proposed a note that combined such a variety of typefaces that a lone forger couldn’t hope to duplicate it — the faces descended all the way to Diamond, the smallest available, and the bottom of each note would be filled with 140 lines of fine print containing hidden “private marks,” such as individual letters printed in italic or small capitals.
To create even the authentic version would have required a team of 20 people, from punchcutters to engine makers, to fulfill the typographical and other design flourishes. Hansard estimated that producing the first note would have cost as much as £2,000 and taken up to a year, “but after that the production will be so rapid, that with the labour of four Men only, without the assistance of any Steam Machinery, 40,000 Notes may be produced in a Day of the finest Workmanship, at the Expense, including Paper, of Half a Farthing each Note.”
In the end the proposal wasn’t adopted — small notes were withdrawn from circulation in 1821, and the search was dropped.
(Virginia Hewitt, “Beware of Imitations: The Campaign for a New Bank of England Note, 1797-1821,” Numismatic Chronicle 158 [1998], 197-222.)
An odd little item from the New Zealand Police Gazette, Sept. 20, 1893:
Christchurch. — William Strange and Co. report that between the 2nd and 4th instant their premises were broken into, and a determined but unsuccessful attempt made to break open the safe, the words ‘No time and little room; bad luck’ being written thereon with a piece of candle by the offenders. Nothing stolen.
The Strand reported that the photograph was “taken by a burglar, and subsequently sent to the makers of the safe that resisted his efforts.”
In an 1894 feature on peculiar furniture, the Strand describes a “suffocating bedstead” used to dispatch unwitting inn guests in the days of coach travel:
Nothing whatever of a suspicious character revealed itself to the eye of the wayfarer, yet when the scoundrel who meditated crime had satisfied himself that the man slept, he would quickly lower an interior portion of the canopy of the bedstead, firmly imprisoning him in an air-tight cavity until suffocation ensued. Struggling and shouting would be useless under such circumstances, as the weight of the box would be tremendous.
This recalls Wilkie Collins’ 1852 story “A Terribly Strange Bed,” in which a visitor at a Paris gambling house realizes the canopy over his bed is moving:
It descended — the whole canopy, with the fringe round it, came down — down — close down; so close that there was not room now to squeeze my finger between the bed-top and the bed. I felt at the sides, and discovered that what had appeared to me from beneath to be the ordinary light canopy of a four-post bed was in reality a thick, broad mattress, the substance of which was concealed by the valance and its fringe. I looked up and saw the four posts rising hideously bare. In the middle of the bed-top was a huge wooden screw that had evidently worked it down through a hole in the ceiling, just as ordinary presses are worked down on the substance selected for compression.
In his preface to the collection in which that story appears, Collins claims that it’s “entirely of my own imagining, constructing, and writing” but credits painter W.S. Herrick for “the curious and interesting facts” on which it’s based. The Strand article, published 40 years later, doesn’t mention Collins, but perhaps the idea had entered English folklore by that point. Or maybe it’s true!
Doubtless time travel will raise a host of legal difficulties, e.g., should a time traveler who punches his younger self (or vice versa) be charged with assault? Should the time traveler who murders someone and then flees into the past for sanctuary be tried in the past for his crime committed in the future? If he marries in the past can he be tried for bigamy even though his other wife will not be born for almost 5000 years? Etc., etc. I leave such questions for lawyers and writers of ethics textbooks to solve.
— Larry Dwyer, “Time Travel and Some Alleged Logical Asymmetries Between Past and Future,” Canadian Journal of Philosophy 8:1 (March 1978), 15-38
The Swedish courts took up a perplexing case in 1656: Småland maid Karin Svensdotter claimed to have had a sexual relationship with the King of the Fairies. She said she’d met a beautiful man in golden clothes who called himself Älvakungen and courted her with gifts. She’d borne him seven children, which he’d taken away to the land of the fairies. She said she’d given birth during recurring fits, from which she was known to suffer, and her employer testified that he’d heard her searching for her children in the forest.
In the 17th century the church acknowledged the existence of mythical creatures, and consorting with nature spirits such as Älvakungen would have constituted bestiality, for which a human might face a death sentence. After some consideration, though, it was determined that Svensdotter had been driven mad by Satan’s magic. The congregation was ordered to pray for her, relatives gave her a silver cross, and Älvakungen never troubled her again.
In November 1985, a couple walked into an art museum in Tucson, Arizona. While the woman chatted with a security guard, the man disappeared briefly upstairs, and then the pair departed. Then the guard discovered that Willem de Kooning’s painting Woman-Ochre was missing — it had been cut out of its canvas.
More than 30 years later, in 2017, retired New York speech pathologist Rita Alter passed away in the little town of Cliff, N.M., five years after her husband, Jerry, a former schoolteacher. In their bedroom was the missing de Kooning, in a position that was visible only when the door was closed. The painting appeared to have been reframed only once in the 31 years it had been missing, suggesting that it had had only one owner in that time.
Had the Alters stolen the painting? They were admirers of de Kooning and had been in Tucson the day before the theft. But such a crime seems vastly out of character for the retiring couple. “[They wouldn’t] risk something as wild and crazy as grand larceny — risk the possibility of winding up in prison, for God’s sake — they wouldn’t do that,” Rita’s sister told the New York Times.
Had the pair then bought the painting from a third party? That seems impossible too — it was worth an estimated $160 million. Perhaps the painting’s authenticity had been forgotten by the time of the transaction, so that both buyer and seller thought it was a copy? How could that have come about?
Jerry Alter once published a story in which a woman and her granddaughter steal an emerald from a museum and keep it on private display, “where two pairs of eyes, exclusively, are there to see.” Is that a coincidence? A veiled admission?
We may never know. The FBI’s case remains open.
(Thanks, Daniel.)
Entries in a notebook carried by 37-year-old Iowa burglar Michael Sutton, arrested in the 1950s: Clothes express and accentuate a person’s personality and station in life. Wear good clothes in order to be inconspicuous. Live in best hotels, so I won’t be noticed going and coming at odd hours. Always carry the daily paper when on the prowl early in the evening — or a magazine. It looks like a person coming home from the office. Better still, carry a briefcase. It takes an amazing amount of cunning to master crime. Use bulb in toilet bowl to hide diamonds in...
Articles observed by the crew of Welsh pirate Bartholomew Roberts (1682-1722): Every man has a vote in affairs of moment; has equal title to the fresh provisions, or strong liquors, at any time seized, and may use them at pleasure, unless a scarcity makes it necessary, for the good of all, to vote a retrenchment. Every man to be called fairly in turn, by list, on board of prizes because, (over and above their proper share) they were on these occasions allowed a shift of clothes: but if they defrauded the company to the value of a dollar in plate,...
Jami Johnson lost her wallet on December 11, 2007, when she left it on the counter at the Zip Trip convenience store in Clarkston, Washington. A surveillance video showed a man pick it up and walk out of the store with it. The man, Michael Millhouse, was arrested two days later and charged with theft. How did police catch him so quickly? The Lewiston Tribune had published a frame from the surveillance video on its front page, directly below a four-column photo of Millhouse decorating a local window for the holidays. He was identified by name and was even wearing...
In 1943, Texas panhandle farmer Ray L. Batman converted his farm into a family partnership by transferring some assets to his teenage son, Gerald. But it turned out that the son had no actual desire to become his father’s partner, and in fact Ray had taken the measures against the advice of his accountant, apparently in order to reduce his income tax liability. The IRS deemed the partnership illegitimate and assessed Ray and his wife a fine of $10,000 each. This meant that, when the family sued the head of the IRS, the case was recorded as Batman v. Commissioner....
Late one night in 2001, Polish immigrant Henryk Siwiak set out to find a Pathmark supermarket in Brooklyn in order to start a new job. Around 11:40 p.m., residents in the area heard an argument followed by gunshots. Siwiak was found dead face down in Decatur Street, shot in the lung. A trail of blood showed that he had staggered there from Albany Avenue seeking help. Unfortunately, this happened on September 11, the day of the terrorist attacks. Siwiak spoke poor English and was wearing camouflage clothing, which may have led his assailant to think he was associated with the...
In a Midlands pub in October 1888, a Londoner named Alfred Blanchard told the landlord that he was the Whitechapel murderer. He repeated the statement to several people and was taken to the Duke Street police station, where he quickly recanted his confession. He had been in the pub for nine hours and drunk about five and a half pints of beer. From the Birmingham Press Gazette: About half-past twelve o’clock he asked witness what kind of detectives they had in Birmingham. Witness told him he believed them to be very clever men. Prisoner said that it would be a...
In 1891, a mysterious figure appeared on the streets of London, dispensing pills to poor young women who then died in agony. Suspicion came to center on a Scottish-Canadian doctor with a dark past in North America. In this week’s episode of the Futility Closet podcast we’ll describe the career of the Lambeth Poisoner, whose victims remain uncounted. We’ll also consider a Hungarian Jules Verne and puzzle over an ambiguous sentence. Intro: How can an investor responsibly divest herself of stock in a company that she feels has acted immorally? Lightning can vitrify sand into rootlike tubes. Sources for our...
During a stickup, bank robbers order tellers to keep their hands up so they can’t defend themselves or the customers. In 1921 San Francisco inventor Harry McGrath offered this solution: The teller wears a loaded pistol under his arm, with a wire running down his coat sleeve to his palm. Now when his arms are raised he can still fire the gun. The patent says nothing about aiming, but “in order to make the gun perfectly safe, a blank cartridge can be placed in the magazine to be fired first, followed by a ball cartridge.” I don’t know whether McGrath...
In May 1901, the attorney general of Paris received an anonymous letter. It read, “I have the honor to inform you of an exceptionally serious occurrence. I speak of a spinster who is locked up in Madame Monnier’s house, half-starved and living on a putrid litter for the past twenty-five years — in a word, in her own filth.” When police investigated, they found in Monnier’s attic a 52-year-old woman who weighed barely 25 kilograms. One policeman described the scene: “The unfortunate woman was lying completely naked on a rotten straw mattress. All around her was formed a sort of...
In 1883, Missouri real estate broker James Reavis announced that he held title to a huge tract of land in the Arizona Territory. If certified, the claim would threaten the livelihoods of thousands of residents. In this week’s episode of the Futility Closet podcast we’ll tell the story of the Baron of Arizona, one of the most audacious frauds in American history. We’ll also scrutinize British statues and puzzle over some curious floor numbers. Intro: In 1891, Charles Dodgson wrote a curiously unforthcoming letter to Nellie Bowman. Reputedly the English geologist William Buckland could distinguish a region by the smell...
One dark night in 1804, a London excise officer mistook a bricklayer for a ghost and shot him. This raised a difficult question: Was he guilty of murder? In this week’s episode of the Futility Closet podcast we’ll consider the case of the Hammersmith ghost, which has been called “one of the greatest curiosities in English criminal law.”
We’ll also worry about British spiders and puzzle over some duplicative dog names.
Intro:
In 1850, an English doctor claimed to have given first aid to a pike.
In 1970, Air Force pilot Gary Foust ejected from his F-106 and watched it land itself.
Sources for our feature on the Hammersmith ghost:
W.M. Medland and Charles Weobly, A Collection of Remarkable and Interesting Criminal Trials, Actions at Law, &c., 1804.
Thomas Faulkner, The History and Antiquities of the Parish of Hammersmith, 1839.
James Paterson, Curiosities of Law and Lawyers, 1899.
Thomas Faulkner, An Historical and Topographical Account of Fulham: Including the Hamlet of Hammersmith, 1813.
R.S. Kirby, Kirby’s Wonderful and Scientific Museum: Or, Magazine of Remarkable Characters, Volume 2, 1804.
Jacob Middleton, “An Aristocratic Spectre,” History Today 61:2 (February 2011), 44-45.
Alfred Whitman, “A Hundred Years Ago — 1804,” Strand 28:168 (December 1904), 632-638.
Augustus K. Stephenson, “Ghost Stories of 100 Years Ago,” Journal of the Society for Psychical Research 208:11 (April 1904), 214-220.
John Ezard, “Ghostly Murder Haunts Lawyers 200 Years On,” Guardian, Jan. 2, 2004.
“The Case of the Murdered Ghost,” BBC News, Jan. 3, 2004.
“Killing of a ‘Ghost’ That Haunted Courts for 180 Years,” [Glasgow] Herald, Jan. 3, 2004.
“Experts to Remember Spectral Shooting,” Birmingham Post, Jan. 3, 2004.
Arifa Akbar, “Club Hosts Gathering in Honour of Famous Ghost Case,” Independent, Jan. 3, 2004.
Martin Baggoley, “The Hammersmith Ghost and the Strange Death of Thomas Millwood,” Crime Magazine, April 9, 2015.
“‘Laying’ a Ghost,” [Brisbane] Telegraph, March 8, 1924.
“A Ghost Story of 100 Years Ago,” Port Macquarie News and Hastings River Advocate, Oct. 29, 1910.
“From the Courts,” Brisbane Courier, Dec. 22, 1906.
“Strange Stories of London Ghosts,” [Melbourne] Leader, Oct. 6, 1900.
“Dream Evidence,” [Adelaide] Express and Telegraph, Feb. 21, 1891.
“Ghosts, Witches, and Hangmen,” Moreton [Qld.] Mail, Nov. 22, 1889.
“Glimpses of the Past,” Bury and Norwich Post, Sept. 7, 1886.
“Resuscitation of the Hammersmith Ghost,” [London] Examiner, Dec. 15, 1833.
“The Hammersmith Ghost,” [London] Morning Post, Dec. 6, 1824.
“A New Hammersmith Ghost,” [London] Morning Chronicle, Dec. 4, 1824.
“Old Bailey,” Aberdeen Journal, Jan. 25, 1804.
“Murder — Hammersmith Ghost,” Bury and Norwich Post, Jan. 18, 1804.
“From the London Gazette,” Hampshire Telegraph and Naval Chronicle, Jan. 16, 1804.
“The Hammersmith Ghost,” Caledonian Mercury, Jan. 14, 1804.
“The Real Hammersmith Ghost,” Staffordshire Advertiser, Jan. 14, 1804.
Trial proceedings from the Old Bailey.
Jane Alexander, “The Time Someone Shot a Ghost Dead in Hammersmith,” Londonist, Oct. 25, 2019.
Ross Macfarlane, “The Hammersmith Ghost,” Wellcome Library blog, Oct. 31, 2009.
Kelly Buchanan, “The Case of a Ghost Haunted England for Over Two Hundred Years,” In Custodia Legis, Library of Congress, Oct. 30, 2015.
Gabrielle Keane, Locating Literature in the Ghost Hoax: An Exploration of 19th-Century Print News Media, dissertation, University of Pittsburgh, 2019.
Jen Cadwallader, Spirits of the Age: Ghost Stories and the Victorian Psyche, dissertation, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, 2009.
Listener mail:
“Bing (TV series),” Wikipedia (accessed March 24, 2021).
“List of Bing episodes,” Wikipedia (accessed March 24, 2021).
Amber Tully, “Should You Put Ice on a Burn (or Not)?” Cleveland Clinic, June 12, 2018.
“Minor Burns – Aftercare,” MedLine Plus, Aug. 13, 2020.
Anahad O’Connor, “The Claim: Ice Is Good for a Skin Burn,” New York Times, June 10, 2008.
Luis Villazon, “How Many UK Spiders Are Actually Dangerous?” BBC Science Focus (accessed March 24, 2021).
“Spider,” Wikipedia (accessed March 30, 2021).
“Not So False After All: Venom of the Noble False Widow Spider Very Similar to the Venom of ‘True’ Black Widows,” NUI Galway, June 18, 2020.
John P. Dunbar et al., “Venomics Approach Reveals a High Proportion of Lactrodectus-Like Toxins in the Venom of the Noble False Widow Spider Steatoda nobilis,” Toxins, 12:6 (June 18, 2020), 402.
“Study Finds Noble False Widow Spiders Bite Can Transmit Harmful Antibiotic-Resistant Bacteria to Humans,” NUI Galway, Dec. 1, 2020.
This week’s lateral thinking puzzle was contributed by listener Stephen Harvey, who sent these corroborating links (warning — these spoil the puzzle).
You can listen using the player above, download this episode directly, or subscribe on Google Podcasts, on Apple Podcasts, or via the RSS feed at https://futilitycloset.libsyn.com/rss.
Please consider becoming a patron of Futility Closet — you can choose the amount you want to pledge, and we’ve set up some rewards to help thank you for your support. You can also make a one-time donation on the Support Us page of the Futility Closet website.
Many thanks to Doug Ross for the music in this episode.
If you have any questions or comments you can reach us at podcast@futilitycloset.com. Thanks for listening!
John Smith escaped execution three times. Convicted of housebreaking in 1705, he was hanged at the Tyburn gallows for a quarter of an hour before the people called for a reprieve and he was cut down.
When he had perfectly recovered his senses he was asked what were his feelings at the time of execution; to which he repeatedly replied, in substance, as follows. When he was turned off, he for some time was sensible of very great pain, occasioned by the weight of his body, and felt his spirits in a strange commotion, violently pressing upwards. That having forced their way to his head, he as it were saw a great blaze, or glaring light, which seemed to go out at his eyes with a flash, and then he lost all sense of pain. That after he was cut down, and began to come to himself, the blood and spirits, forcing themselves into their former channels, put him, by a sort of pricking or shooting, to such intolerable pain that he could have wished those hanged who had cut him down.
He returned to housebreaking on his release in 1706, but his strange luck continued: On his second indictment some difficulties in the case induced a panel of judges to set him free, and on his third the prosecutor died before the day of the trial.
The streak ended in 1727, when he was convicted of stealing a padlock and sentenced to transportation. He pleaded for corporal punishment instead but was sent to Virginia that July.
By 1914 Frank Lloyd Wright had become one of America’s most influential architects. But that August a violent tragedy unfolded at his Midwestern residence and studio. In this week’s episode of the Futility Closet podcast we’ll describe the shocking attack of Julian Carlton, which has been called “the most horrific single act of mass murder in Wisconsin history.”
We’ll also admire some helpful dogs and puzzle over some freezing heat.
Intro:
In 1992 by Celess Antoine patented an umbrella for dogs.
Ignaz Moscheles’ piano piece “The Way of the World” reads the same upside down.
Sources for our feature on the Taliesin killings:
William R. Drennan, Death in a Prairie House: Frank Lloyd Wright and the Taliesin Murders, 2007.
Ron McCrea, Building Taliesin: Frank Lloyd Wright’s Home of Love and Loss, 2013.
Paul Hendrickson, Plagued by Fire: The Dreams and Furies of Frank Lloyd Wright, 2019.
Meryle Secrest, Frank Lloyd Wright: A Biography, 1998.
Anthony Alofsin, “Loving Frank; Death in a Prairie House: Frank Lloyd Wright and the Taliesin Murders,” Journal of the Society of Architectural Historians 69:3 (September 2010), 450-451.
Christopher Benfey, “Burning Down the House,” Harper’s Magazine 339:2035 (December 2019), 88-94.
Naomi Uechi, “Evolving Transcendentalism: Thoreauvian Simplicity in Frank Lloyd Wright’s Taliesin and Contemporary Ecological Architecture,” Concord Saunterer 17 (2009), 73-98.
Jonathan Morrison, “Frank Lloyd Wright: The Giant Talent With Shaky Foundations,” Times, Jan. 4, 2020, 16.
Michael Prodger, “Plagued By Fire by Paul Hendrickson — Frank Lloyd Wright, a Life of Disaster and Disarray,” Guardian, Nov. 22, 2019, 14.
Philip Kennicott, “He Burned Frank Lloyd Wright’s House and Killed His Mistress — But Why?”, Washington Post, Nov. 22, 2019.
“Monumental Achievements: Frank Lloyd Wright, an American Great Whose Life Was as Colourful as His Buildings Were Breathtaking,” Sunday Times, Oct. 20, 2019, 32.
John Glassie, “What Kept Wright From Running Dry?”, Washington Post, Oct. 6, 2019, E.12.
Ron Hogan, “The Tragic Story of Guggenheim Architect Frank Lloyd Wright’s Secret Love Nest,” New York Post, Oct. 5, 2019.
Leanne Shapton and Niklas Maak, “The House That Love Built — Before It Was Gone,” New York Times, July 4, 2016.
Ron McCrea, “August, 1914: Small-Town Wisconsin Rises to the Occasion of the Taliesin Mass Murder,” [Madison, Wis.] Capital Times, Aug. 14, 2014.
Mara Bovsun, “Cook Massacres Seven at Wisconsin Home Frank Lloyd Wright Built for His Mistress,” New York Daily News, Jan. 25, 2014.
Patricia Wolff, “Tranquil Taliesin Harbors Tragic Tale,” Oshkosh [Wis.] Northwestern, June 26, 2011, A.1.
Ron McCrea, “Taliesin’s Postcard Memories Rare Photos Reveal Scenes From Frank Lloyd Wright’s Pre-Fire Dwellings,” Madison [Wis.] Capital Times, March 23, 2011, 9.
Marcus Field, “Architect of Desire,” Independent on Sunday, March 8, 2009, 14.
Robert Campbell, “House Proud: Paying Homage to Frank Lloyd Wright’s Home, Taliesin East,” Boston Globe, Dec. 13, 1992, 17.
Image: The Taliesin courtyard after the attack and fire. Frank Lloyd Wright is at left.
Listener mail:
“Just Nuisance,” Simonstown.com (accessed Sept. 25, 2020).
Kirsten Jacobs, “The Legendary Tale of Just Nuisance,” Cape Town Etc, Jan. 28, 2020.
The Kitchen Sisters, “Turnspit Dogs: The Rise and Fall of the Vernepator Cur,” NPR, May 13, 2014.
Natalie Zarrelli, “The Best Kitchen Gadget of the 1600s Was a Small, Short-Legged Dog,” Atlas Obscura, Jan. 11, 2017.
“Sewing Machine Worked by a Dog,” Futility Closet, Oct. 16, 2011.
“Turnspit Dogs,” Futility Closet, Nov. 10, 2006.
Wikipedia, “Newfoundland (dog),” accessed Sept. 24, 2020.
Stanley Coren, “The Dogs of Napoleon Bonaparte,” Psychology Today, March 8, 2018.
“Beach Rescue Dog Alerts Swimmer,” BBC News, 23 August 2007.
Adam Rivera, David Miller, Phoebe Natanson, and Andrea Miller, “Dogs Train Year-Round to Save Lives in the Italian Waters,” ABC News, April 2, 2018.
Tom Kington, “Italy’s Lifesaving Dogs Swim Towards Foreign Shores,” Times, March 10, 2020, 31.
“Italy’s Canine Lifeguards,” NDTV, Aug. 23, 2010 (contains several photos).
Anna Gragert, “Newfoundland Dogs Help the Italian Coast Guard Save Lives,” My Modern Met, Aug. 5, 2015 (contains several photos).
This week’s lateral thinking puzzle was contributed by listener Garth Payne, who sent this corroborating link (warning — this spoils the puzzle).
You can listen using the player above, download this episode directly, or subscribe on Google Podcasts, on Apple Podcasts, or via the RSS feed at https://futilitycloset.libsyn.com/rss.
Please consider becoming a patron of Futility Closet — you can choose the amount you want to pledge, and we’ve set up some rewards to help thank you for your support. You can also make a one-time donation on the Support Us page of the Futility Closet website.
Many thanks to Doug Ross for the music in this episode.
If you have any questions or comments you can reach us at podcast@futilitycloset.com. Thanks for listening!
Sometimes in our research we come across stories that are regarded as true but that we can’t fully verify. In this week’s episode of the Futility Closet podcast we’ll share two such stories from the 1920s, about a pair of New York fruit dealers and a mythologized bank robber, and discuss the strength of the evidence behind them.
We’ll also salute a retiring cat and puzzle over a heartless spouse.
Intro:
English essayist A.C. Benson dreamed poetry.
Robert Patch patented a toy truck at age 5.
Sources for our feature on the Fortunato brothers and Herman Lamm:
Walter Mittelstaedt, Herman ‘Baron’ Lamm, the Father of Modern Bank Robbery, 2012.
L.R. Kirchner, Robbing Banks: An American History 1831-1999, 2003.
William J. Helmer and Rick Mattix, Public Enemies: America’s Criminal Past, 1919-1940, 1998.
John Toland, The Dillinger Days, 1963.
Bryan Burrough, Public Enemies: America’s Greatest Crime Wave and the Birth of the FBI, 1933-34, 2009.
John Belle and Maxinne Rhea Leighton, Grand Central: Gateway to a Million Lives, 2000.
Brian Robb, A Brief History of Gangsters, 2014.
Carl Sifakis, Encyclopedia of American Crime, 2014.
Richard Ringer, “Today’s Bank Robber Is No Baby Face Nelson; Current Group Called Amateurs in Comparison to Legendary Predecessors,” American Banker 148 (Feb. 28, 1983), 2.
George W. Hunt, “Of Many Things,” America 159:17 (Dec. 3, 1988), 450.
Alan Hynd, “Grand Central’s $100,000 Deal,” in Rouben Mamoulian, ed., Scoundrels & Scalawags: 51 Stories of the Most Fascinating Characters of Hoax and Fraud, 1968.
“Historical Perspective: Clinton and Rockville Robberies,” [Terre Haute, Ind.] Tribune-Star, Sept. 15, 2019.
Philip Marchand, “Grand Theft With Autos: For Bandits and Desperadoes, a Fast Getaway Car Is Just as Important as a Gun,” Toronto Star, July 7, 2012, W.1.
Scott McCabe, “Father of Modern Bank Robbery Killed in Shootout,” [Washington, D.C.] Examiner, Dec. 16, 2011, 8.
Christopher Goodwin, “America’s Own Robin Hood: John Dillinger Was a Suave, Smooth-Talking Gangster Who Was Cheered On by the Public,” Sunday Times, June 28, 2009, 7.
Stephen Wilks, “In Pursuit of America’s Public Enemies,” Canberra Times, Jan. 17, 2009, 17.
“Nutty Scam Fooled Fruit Bros.”, [Campbell River, B.C.] North Island Midweek, Jan. 3, 2007, 5.
Max Haines, “A Grand Con Game,” Moose Jaw [Sask.] Times Herald, Dec. 27, 2006, B6.
“Fabulous Fakes,” Gadsden [Ala.] Times, Nov. 11, 1983.
Donald Altschiller, “In This Corner; Robbery Today? It’s a Crime,” Boston Globe, Jan. 25, 1983, 1.
“Dead Bank Bandit Has Been Identified,” Rushville [Ind.] Republican, Dec. 19, 1930.
Listener mail:
“‘Chief Mouser’ Palmerston Retires as UK’s Top Diplomatic Cat,” Associated Press, Aug. 7, 2020.
Justin Parkinson, “Foreign Office Cat Palmerston Retires to Countryside,” BBC News, Aug. 7, 2020.
“Paws for Reflection: British Foreign Office Cat Heads for Retirement,” Reuters, Aug. 7, 2020.
Ulrike Lemmin-Woolfrey and Stacey Lastoe, “‘Cats’ Is a Disaster, but Cats Aren’t: The Best Cat Cafes to Show Your Solidarity With Our Beloved Companions,” CNN, July 19, 2019.
Wikipedia, “Cat Café” (accessed Aug. 20, 2020).
Frances Cha, “Moomin, Japan’s ‘Anti-Loneliness’ Cafe, Goes Viral,” CNN, Feb. 21, 2017.
The bear’s breakin.
Ed Mazza, “Big Boss Bear Bashes Down Door for Incredible Entrance Into Cabin,” Huffington Post, July 22, 2020.
Becky Talley, “VIDEO: Lake Tahoe Bear Smashes Through Door Like ‘The Hulk,'” Our Community Now, July 24, 2020.
“Meet the Canada Post Worker Who Wrote the ‘Bear at Door’ Non-Delivery Slip,” CBC, Sept. 26, 2014.
Max Knoblauch, “‘Bear at Door’ Is a Solid Reason to Not Deliver a Package,” Mashable, Sept. 25, 2014.
Listener Yulia Samaichuk sent these photos of Tono’s Cat Café in Tianzifang, Shanghai:
This week’s lateral thinking puzzle is taken from Agnes Rogers’ 1953 book How Come? A Book of Riddles, sent to us by listener Jon Jerome.
You can listen using the player above, download this episode directly, or subscribe on Google Podcasts, on Apple Podcasts, or via the RSS feed at https://futilitycloset.libsyn.com/rss.
Please consider becoming a patron of Futility Closet — you can choose the amount you want to pledge, and we’ve set up some rewards to help thank you for your support. You can also make a one-time donation on the Support Us page of the Futility Closet website.
Many thanks to Doug Ross for the music in this episode.
If you have any questions or comments you can reach us at podcast@futilitycloset.com. Thanks for listening!
In 1983 Paul Desmond Taafe imported certain packages into England. He thought they contained currency, which he erroneously believed was illegal to import. The packages actually contained cannabis, which was illegal to import. Was he “knowingly concerned in [the] fraudulent evasion” of any prohibition on importing goods?
He was convicted but appealed. “If we describe his action in terms of his own beliefs (about the facts and about the law), it obviously constituted an attempt to commit (indeed, it constituted the actual commission of) that crime,” writes R.A. Duff in Criminal Attempts. But Taafe wasn’t “knowingly concerned” in evading the ban on cannabis — he didn’t know he was importing cannabis. And however guilty he may have felt for smuggling currency, that wasn’t a crime.
He was acquitted.
(Taaffe [1983] 1 WLR 627 (CA); [1984] 1 AC 539 (HL).)