Stream of Subconsciousness: Recent Episodes
Lincoln Stoller, PhD, CHt
Self-hypnotic explorations of physical and mental health, purpose, self-awareness, self-love, lineage, and ancestry. Building on science, psychology, and spirit. Finding balance in the subconscious mind.
mindstrengthbalance.substack.com
I’ve included the audio portion of our interview. You can see the video version by clicking here: Pushing the Envelop (video)
Science, Mystery, Awareness
I am a scientist on the outside, but inwardly more shamanic or metaphysical. Science and mysticism were initially the same but gradually grew apart. The division is both artificial and unfortunate. They need to be combined, not separated. Whenever you see someone who practices one or the other you know they’re either out of date, closed minded, or dead inside. Many of the smartest people fit this description.
The real questions about intellectual pursuits pertain to achieving creativity, just as the real questions about spiritual pursuits pertain to getting practical. Kerri is someone who appreciates this, and that makes it easy to build the bridges that we need to build to connect reality’s dots.
What this amounts to is talking about childhood and parenting, learning, and growing up. The truth is you are still a child, always a parent, learning, and growing up. When you stop doing these things you start to rot. This describes most of the rich, famous, and powerful people today. If you want to help with today’s shift in consciousness, then you need to become a new kind of person: an adult child.
Kerri Hummingbird
Kerri Hummingbird, medicine woman, mother and mentor, is the founder of Inner Medicine Training, a mystery school opening the path to wisdom ,sharing potent ancient traditions from the Andes and Himalayas for owning your wisdom and living your purpose.
“When did we need life to be so predictable and safe that it siphoned all the adventure and aliveness out? The antidote is questions and initiations to open the mystery back up by challenging everything we think we know.”
“If you are wondering what the heck is going on, the answer is simple. We are in the process of a massive shift in consciousness that can most aptly be described as the metamorphosis from caterpillar to butterfly.”
For more information, visit: www.kerrihummingbird.comWebsite: www.kerrihummingbird.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/kerri.hummingbird.samiInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/kerri.hummingbird/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@soulnectarshowLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kerrihummingbird/
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My July 2026 conversation with Michael Waite, Brain Shaman, touching on issues of change, engagement, and the practical creation of one’s reality.
SUMMARY
We discuss living with honesty, courage, and commitment. Why meaningful growth means moving beyond conformity and rethinking the reward-driven paths.
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Taking action without guarantees.
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Embracing exploration for its own sake.
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Giving yourself space to get lost while remaining calm.
We explore creativity, lucid awareness in dreams and daily life, doing things you’re not good at, finding mentors, breaking the rules, exploring beyond the traditional boundaries of education and career, and not focusing on profit or reward. The conversation centers on expanding awareness, stepping out of limiting boxes and choosing a path guided by curiosity, authenticity, and adventure.
https://www.brainshaman.com/2067421/episodes/18674859-lincoln-stoller-out-of-the-boxes-and-into-your-adventure-episode-180
MICHAEL WAITE, THE BRAIN SHAMAN
Brain Shaman is a philosophical and scientific journey towards better brain health. Michael Waite discusses how you can change your brain state and overall nervous system via behavior, nutrition, nature, and technology. Mental illness, addiction, and low brain function are destroying so many people and societies.
By becoming increasingly disconnected from our natural mind-body-world and plugged into the artificial ones, we are getting sicker, weaker, and less free. We must become more conscious of how the information that we consume (in the form of action, food, drugs, sensory input, media, etc.) affects our brain.
This podcast teaches you how to reconnect with your primordial nature, reprogram your brain, regain your freedom, and redirect your life.
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My father, Ezra Stoller, was Le Corbusier’s contemporary. They both shared the stage at an architecture award ceremony, and Ezra also received Corbu’s prickly arrogance. It’s been noted that despite Corbu’s celebrated reputation he consistently self-sabotaged himself. Stoller shot the famous images of Corbu’s famous chapel at Ronchamp, which are showcased in the book From the Eye of the Beholder. The book tells Stoller’s personal stories working with six of the 20th century’s leading architects and is available in a new high-quality edition on Kickstarter.
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/mindstrengthbalance/from-the-eye-of-the-beholder
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“The sensory apparatus we know as the ear is simply an external attribute of the cerebral cortex.” — Dr. Alfred Tomatis, otolaryngologist and originator of sound-based therapies for communication, learning, and listening skills
Hearing
What do you ever really hear in all that you’re listening to? Do you hear all of your thoughts or just the ones that make the most sense? Some of our thoughts come as images or impulses, some as sensations, and others come with words attached. Our first impression often determines whether we focus on a thought or let it drift past.
Not many thoughts are considered in our heads. Most of our thinking just flows past us as a kind of distracted story line. Ask someone for their opinion and you’ll get a burst that will fade away after a few sentences. If your question is not recharged by some act of relevance, reward, or rejection their comments will settle into a kind of closure.
Consider conversations at a gathering, party, or social event. There will be a set of topics which people typically expect to hear about. These will be of short duration which will stimulate many associations. Common topics typically sustain five or ten minutes of discourse, but rarely more.
We mostly use language to focus and form social contacts. There is little original thought or exploration of things that can’t easily be said. This limits us to rather superficial topics. It also limits how we tend to think when we’re on our own. We have similarly short conversations with ourselves, most of which don’t break new ground.
As I write this I’m asking myself, “What is there to say on this topic? What can I say that goes beyond repetition?” I have to create or picture some structure before I start talking. To do otherwise is just to repeat things I’ve already heard. The value of what I say is determined by the importance of the questions it asks.
• Focus
• Attention Deficient, Normal, and Disordered
• Listening Deeply
• Hypnotic Listening
• States of Trance
• Insights and Hallucinations
• Change Grows From Associations
• Beyond Understanding
• Integration Aims
• Integration Skills
• Integration Dreams
My books The Skills of Sleep, Becoming Lucid, and Operating Manual For Enlightenment will help you. Don’t be misled into thinking that integration requires new experiences; new experiences just provide recent evidence. Integration means finding balance. You do this by exploring the boundaries of what unbalances you. This extends across all of your life. Let integration become a habit.
The Jōrni Podcast with Petra Brunnbauer - Episode 401, July 7, 2026
Love refuses to behave the way logic says it should. It’s not love in particular, it’s any aspect of behavior that reaches across thought, feeling, memory, training, and habit. Whenever you have compulsion mixed with aspiration, need, and intention, reason is a poor tool.
It’s not because these things are unreasonable, it’s because there are too many reasons.Maybe love was never a problem to solve, but a capacity to grow. We explore the idea that learning to love ourselves changes how we love everyone else, and why the questions that have no clean answer are often the most rewarding to explore.
Lincoln Stoller works in private practice as both a counselor and coach helping people see how and why they have created their environment, their view of reality, and sense of self. His work comes together under the heading of mastering one’s state of mind through experience, aiming to raise his clients sense of purpose in all aspects of their lives.
Listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts at:
You’ll find more of Petra’s material at: https://thejorni.com/
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I join iNTv to discuss responsibility, mental health, dreams, child development, independent thinking, and the search for meaning in modern life.
Drawing from backgrounds in theoretical physics, psychotherapy, hypnosis, neurofeedback, and education, Lincoln argues that genuine learning requires responsibility, feedback, and real engagement with the consequences of our actions. We explore why many people struggle to change, how childhood experiences shape adult behavior, and what parents and educators may be getting wrong about human development.
We also discuss dreams, psychedelics, hypnosis, self-respect, individuality, addiction, purpose, and why raising independent thinkers begins with taking children seriously as people.
Topics include:
• Responsibility and personal growth• Mental health, meaning, and self-respect• Dreams, hypnosis, and psychedelics• Child development and education• Independent thinking and individuality• Parenting, mentorship, and emotional responsibility• The future of culture and human flourishing
Listen to our conversation on Apple:
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/intv-interviews-lincoln-stoller-on-responsibility-meaning/id1896475149
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“Only goals that take us outside our comfort zone enable us to rise to the occasion. The rest just leave us standing still.” — Michael Hyatt, former publisher, now life coach
Looking for Good Ideas
Making People More Effective
Are You Evolving or Amplifying?
Boundaries and Standards
Healing, Damaging, and Resilience
What Is Appropriate?
Authentic Versus Appropriate
And This is Your Goal
I’ve edited and republished a piece titled “The Larger World of Altered State Thinking,” subtitled “how altered states, dreams, hypnosis, and psychedelics can expand creativity, deepen self-understanding, and reshape how we think.” This version is written to be a faster read. You can find it on psychedelic.support: https://psychedelic.support/resources/larger-world-altered-states-thinking/.
The piece explores our two common, conscious modes of rational and emotional thought. It emphasizes we are less familiar and less adept in using our associative mode of thought. Associative thought is the stream of unpremeditated thoughts and feelings that jostle for attention in the backs of our minds. Associative thought is going on more often than our conscious thought but it’s subconscious. Associations are the origins of the words we speak to ourselves.
Associative Thinking
We Can Think Better
Hallucinations as Insight
Let the Batter Set
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Lincoln Stoller is physicist, mountaineer, software engineer, hypnotherapist, psychotherapist, and author. In this wide-ranging and personal conversation Lincoln shares his lifelong pursuit of truth across disciplines while navigating institutional resistance, personal setbacks, and the messy realities of creativity and human psychology.
I discuss a physics paper that challenges conventions and the blowback it received. Science often prioritizes institutional preservation, funding, and reputation over genuine inquiry. Creativity requires stubbornness, tolerance for failure, and resilience against “bad teachers,” and closed-minded experts.
Chapters (with approximate timestamps)
0:00 Introduction
0:43 Overwhelm: Physics Paper Rejection & Moral Obligation to Respond
1:30 Background, Childhood, and Path to Science
3:28 Mountaineering, Physics, Software, Psychedelics, and Therapy
5:40 Boundaries of Open-Mindedness in Science & Irrational Pushback
9:40 Practical vs. Academic Physics, Ego in Science, and Quantum Mechanics
13:50 Fusion Energy Failures, Institutional Inertia & Parapolitics
16:20 Challenging Quantum Orthodoxy & the Cost of Creativity
19:50 Limits of Science & Personal Growth
25:19 The Rule of Three Questions – When Curiosity Becomes Revolutionary
30:37 Innovation, Criticism, and Preaching Morality to those who are not innovative
34:33 Why Dreams Are More Inscrutable Now
39:51 Trauma, Processing, and Reality Disintegration
45:50 Sociobiology, Motherhood, Bears, and Loving-Kindness
48:36 Alternative Education: Summerhill School & Democratic Learning
55:58 Hypnosis, MK Ultra, Suggestive vs. Exploratory Hypnosis
1:05:23 Trauma Bonding, Group-think, and Societal Conditioning
1:08:06 Child-Rearing Advice: Autonomy, Community
1:14:28 Closing: Website, Books, Blog, “Dreaming Yourself into Being”
First-person highlights:
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On his childhood: “I felt ignored... I ended up looking outward... wanting to get answers and wanting to connect.”
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Creativity and institutions: “To be creative means there’s a lot of monkeying around... you have to be okay with failing.”
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Science and Ego: “You’re not going to get a mathematical rebuttal... You’re going to get an ego rebuttal.”
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Dreams: “Dreams... exist to disintegrate your world... They confront me with what I don’t know.”
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Therapy vs. Physics: “Psychotherapy is a welcome relief. You get to deal with other people’s problems and you get to criticize and judge and get paid for it.”
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Final reflection: “We’re all stupid... You really have to try to improve yourself... consider yourself as a garden that needs to be tended.”
The conversation flows into Lincoln’s marriages and recurring dream figures (parents and ex-wives), the value of dreamwork over psychedelics, alternative education models like Sudbury/Summerhill schools, the sociobiology of motherhood, hypnosis (suggestive vs. exploratory, and its broader cultural role), and practical parenting advice: give children more autonomy, real consequences, and community exposure rather than helicopter oversight.
Listen on Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/7IZfkBCwNYBmVV4sZoUR6h?go=1&sp_cid=34f0878aa8a4cce95943b359bda4ec0d&utm_source=embed_player_p&utm_medium=desktop&nd=1&dlsi=5476ec62fc1e400c
Listen on Acast:
https://shows.acast.com/innerskilled/episodes/dreams-therapies-psychology-behind-physics-lincoln-stoller
Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tskbyhWNbuc
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Paul Trammell grew up in the Deep South of the US, became a sailor, then an author, and now lives in his boat off the East Coast of Panama.
I grew up in the New York suburbs, traveled across continents and professions and now live in on Vancouver Island, Canada.
Paul introduced me by saying my approach to psychotherapy "is unique and anti-authoritarian, combining science, spirit, economics, and mental health, the psyche, and the behavior of groups."
Summarizing our conversation he says:
"We talk about quantum physics, psychotherapy, mountaineering, traveling and visiting other cultures, education, hypnotherapy, length of life, racism, ADD/ADHD and how it’s diagnosis is abused, the problems with modern education, how psychotherapy started as a political tool, modern quasi-slavery, alternative schools, ecology, indigenous Panamanians, hope for the future, depression, Caribbean society, unemployment, schizophrenia, family structures, Spanish and English languages, dreams, past lives, inherited personalities, empathy, war, and more."
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Practical, Consensus, and Inspired Intelligence
The interesting thing about artificial intelligence is the question of what is intelligence in the first place. I answer that by giving intelligence three levels: practical, consensus, and inspired.
Practical intelligence is what is necessary. Like walking or making a to-do list, and it isn’t considered particularly intelligent. Bees can walk, maybe they make to-do lists, and it’s just been discovered they make tools. There’s more to practical intelligence than we think, but it’s practical.
Consensus intelligence is what we think of as common wisdom. It’s not widely recognized, but it’s widely available. It’s things like biblical wisdom or what’s dolled out by popular authors. Things like “don’t covet anything that’s your neighbor’s,” or “the benefit of vulnerability is having the courage to show up,” or “love is all there is.” Religion is a font of consensus intelligence and its truth is questionable.
Inspired intelligence comes from two things. First, you combine your honest opinion with what’s practical and generally accepted. That yields such important insights as “that’s b**t,” “the truth is reasonable nonsense,” or “I can accomplish what I’m committed to.”
Second, building on the first, is a bolt of insight. An idea that seems critically important but, on further examination, may be obvious from a more experienced point of view. Inspired ideas are true and explainable, but often socially uncomfortable or unwelcome.
Practical intelligence provides instruction. Consensus intelligence provides maximal cover both for many people and circumstances. Inspired intelligence is what you recognize about yourself.
Our Higher, Middle, and Lower Selves
The higher self gives you purpose, the middle self gets you by, and the lower self is short-sighted and selfish. They’re all available but most people don’t recognize them as different and as aspects they can control. Instead, they are governed by whatever triggers them. We spend most of our time listening to our middle selves, excusing our lower selves, and having little dialog with our higher selves.
We all have these levels within us and are guided by them to varying degrees. Because we tend to be mono focused, one or another of these three attitudes underlies the decisions we make. It is curious that our lower selves seem to speak the loudest, our middle selves like to keep things normal and quiet, and our higher selves are often out of the picture. Such is the case for those of us focused on accumulating power, security, and control. That is to say, the needy ones. That is to say, most of us.
We might be in a desperate, practical, or altruistic frame of mind, but one usually predominates. Most people seem to be dominated by their practical or needy sides. The deeper truth is that they all play important roles. On the one hand, these are learned roles. On the other hand they echo aspects of heaven and hell. We are not communing with demons and angles—these aspects are more down to earth than that—but they lean in those directions.
People who search for insight will drive themselves into higher states in order to find the truth. Sages, prophets, and creatives will have visions, but these connections are not as available to us as are our higher, middle, and lower selves. We should be able to move between our states, but it takes practice.
The Middle State
A person who repeatedly undervalues themself will find themselves in a habitually powerless state. This is a state that attracts exploitation from those looking for self-advantage. When low self-esteem becomes a rewarded habit it grows roots into your middle self. It becomes your comfortable self-ideal. This could be because you have a traumatic memory of times when you tried to defend yourself, which often happens to us as children.
Alternatively, it could be because of your being habitually rewarded for being weak, deferential, and obsequious. This would lead you to adopt these behaviors as normal and self-defining. This typifies the body dimorphism broadly accepted by women in Western society in terms of dress, behavior, and reputation.
A study of 700,000 people, done in 2000 using the HEXACO personality measure (Lee 2009; Patel 2025), found that middle children were the most cooperative. Similar studies found these children grew up to be more socially successful (McGeehan 2024). HEXACO stands for honesty-humility, emotionality, extraversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, and open to experience. You can take this test to rate yourself. The test is free at https://hexaco.org/
Where We Learn
The Higher Realms
The Trouble of Doing Better
The Lower Realms
Season 2, Episode 16
In this conversation, Shorty Foreal and Lincoln Stoller explore the complexities of honesty and commitment in relationships. They discuss the fears that often prevent individuals from expressing their true feelings and the importance of self-belief and clarity in communication. The dialogue emphasizes the need for courage to be honest and the significance of understanding one's own needs in order to foster healthy relationships. The conversation culminates in a powerful reminder that while honesty may cost comfort, it ultimately leads to peace.
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“Groundbreaking tests of quantum mechanics conducted between 1980 and 1982 ... provided definitive answers to the famous Einstein-Podolsky-Rosen (EPR) paradox and cemented quantum non-locality.” — Google A.I. summary
Something Between Arrogance and Lack of Judgement
The above A.I. statement is a fair summary of what physicists believe, what is currently stated in textbooks, and what I’ve now shown to be false. False assertions are accepted as truths because of poor research and exaggerated certitude. Exaggerated certitude comes from a reluctance to admit ignorance. This arrogance has always threatened science, it has percolated into politics and led to today’s Trumpian stupidness.
The EPR paradox, to which the above quote refers, is well described on Wikipedia (2026). The paradox arises from an explanation of why two elementary particles thought to have no fixed property to start with, and which have been separated any distance apart, suddenly and without any mechanism, display the same behavior when a particular property is measured. It’s a paradox because the mathematics makes the correct prediction but the physics makes no sense. The mechanism that’s proposed is called “action at a distance.”
The groundbreaking tests referred to above were conducted by Alain Aspect, for which he won the Nobel Prize in 2022, and which he describes in his acceptance speech:
His experiments are masterful, naturally, but he didn’t understand what he was looking at any more than anyone else did.
...
An original version of the paradoxical situation was stated by Einstein, Podolsky, and Rosen in 1936. Nobody knew quite what to make of it. In the same year, Neils Bohr published a confusing refutation of the paradox which has never been understood. David Bohm came up with a more intuitive version of the paradox in 1951. In 1964 John Bell showed the paradox’s greater importance, and Alain Aspect found a definitive test of the paradoxical predictions in 1980. Science is supposed to get incrementally more correct over time, but in this interesting case it got incrementally less correct.
• Something Between Arrogance and Lack of Judgement
• Medieval Necromancy
• Overconfident Mathematics
• It’s Not a Paradox, It’s a Problem
• The Details of the Paradox
• No One Understands Spin
• Solution of the Problem
• What Will Be the Consequence?
• References
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You are not broken; you are becoming.
Here is my conversation with Dr. Sarah Young on her podcast NeuroAlchemy, broadcast May 29, 2026. You can listen to the audio or watch the video on the other platforms listed here:
Episode Links
🎥 YouTube Video:
🎙️ Episode Home Page (RSS): https://rss.com/podcasts/neuro-alchemy/2868865
YouTube Collaboration Link: https://studio.youtube.com/channel/UCutz5RYUlphaZ82pbLjcrGw/collaboration/UCml_IBedO1UP7oG0GgBE9jQ
The audio version is also available on: • Spotify • RSS.com • iHeartRadio • Apple Podcasts (iTunes) • Amazon Music
Episode notes
In this episode of NeuroAlchemy, Dr. Sarah Young sits down with psychotherapist and theoretical physicist Lincoln Stoller for a thoughtful conversation exploring the intersection of neuroscience, neurofeedback, consciousness, and personal transformation.
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What is consciousness in everyday language?
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How do brain waves shape mood, focus, and emotional patterns?
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Why is insight alone often not enough for lasting change?
Together, Sarah and Lincoln unpack how the brain and nervous system influence identity, healing, and behavior. This conversation bridges complex neuroscience with lived human experience, making topics like neurofeedback, brain training, emotional regulation, and neuroplasticity accessible and deeply relevant.
Dr. Sarah also shares her own early experience working as a neurofeedback technician before graduate school and how witnessing the brain learn through feedback shaped her understanding of healing and transformation.
Topics explored include:
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What neurofeedback is and how it works.
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Brain waves and nervous system regulation.
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Consciousness and awareness in practical language.
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Why understanding patterns intellectually may not fully rewire them.
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How the nervous system participates in healing.
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Identity as learned neural patterning rather than fixed character.
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Neuroplasticity, flexibility, and adaptation.
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Emotional regulation and trauma recovery.
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Neuroscience and spirituality meeting in clinical work.
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Balance as an ongoing practice, not a final destination.
At the heart of this episode is a reminder:Your brain is adaptable. Patterns are learned, not permanent. Healing involves the nervous system. And growth becomes possible when awareness is paired with safety and repetition.
🌿 Micro Practice Invitation: Begin gently noticing your dreams.
Keep a notebook beside your bed and write down any images, feelings, or fragments you remember when you wake up. Even small moments of awareness can help build connection with subconscious processing and internal patterns over time.
Lincoln also offers a prerecorded Brain Frequencies Minicourse: https://www.mindstrengthbalance.com/product/brain-frequencies-minicourse/
🧠 Connect with Lincoln Stoller at:The website: https://www.mindstrengthbalance.com
The blog (free 1x/mon and paid 4x/mon): mindstrengthbalance.substack.com
Through YouTube: @LincolnStoller
🌿 Connect with Dr. Sarah Young Website: https://home.neurosynergyhealth.com/home-6935 Podcast:
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@neurosynergyhealth
If this episode resonated with you, please consider liking, sharing, and subscribing. That’s how these conversations travel and reach the people who need them most.
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What a Therapist, Physicist, and Lifelong Explorer Taught Me About Awareness, Value, and the Life You’re Already Living
Richer Soul Podcast • Episode 493 • Lincoln Stoller
There is a particular kind of frustration that belongs almost exclusively to successful people. It is not the frustration of not having enough. It is the frustration of having done everything right and still sensing, quietly and persistently, that something is missing.
If you have felt that, this conversation is for you.
Lincoln Stoller is a therapist, physicist, former software entrepreneur, and one of the most genuinely wide-ranging thinkers I have had on Richer Soul. He has spent a decade mountaineering, lived in Mongolia, the Caribbean, the jungle, and Manhattan, built and lost businesses, practiced therapy across the full spectrum of human experience, and written a book on dream work as a path to inner transformation. He is 70 years old and still confounded by the most important questions. That, as you will hear, is exactly the point.
What follows are the insights from our conversation that I think are worth writing down.
The Real Currency Is Value, Not Money
Lincoln grew up in a household where money was present but never discussed as a primary pursuit. His father was an architectural photographer. His mother was a painter. Money existed as a resource, not a goal, and that framing, absorbed early and almost unconsciously, shaped everything that followed. He put it plainly in our conversation:
“I don’t care about quantity of money. I care about quality of value. Hell with money, it’s all about value.”
This is not a rejection of financial responsibility. Lincoln bought houses, ran a software company for two decades, and managed his own finances from the time he was a teenager funding mountaineering expeditions. But the orientation was always toward what a thing was worth in terms of insight, experience, and growth, not what it could be exchanged for.
For high achievers operating in a world that measures almost everything in financial terms, this is a quiet but significant reframe. The question is not how much you are making. The question is what value you are actually generating and receiving in your life, in your relationships, in your work, and in your inner world. Those are not always the same number.
Awareness Is the Diagnosis Most People Never Receive
If there is a single thread that runs through everything Lincoln said, it is awareness. He returned to it again and again, not as a buzzword but as a genuine clinical and philosophical anchor.
“What are you aware of? Are you even aware of what’s outside your window? Are you aware of your role in creating and establishing the things you call problems?”
This landed hard for me, because in my work with entrepreneurs and high achievers, I see the same pattern constantly. People who are brilliant at executing strategies they have chosen but almost entirely blind to the fact that they chose those strategies, and to the role their own choices are playing in the outcomes they are unhappy about. They treat their circumstances like weather. Something that happens to them, not something they are participating in creating.
Lincoln’s framework is direct: awareness precedes everything. You cannot change what you cannot see. And most of us, trained by educational systems and professional cultures that reward output over introspection, have never been seriously asked to develop the skill of looking honestly at ourselves.
This is not a moral failure. It is a gap in training. But once you name it, it becomes very hard to unsee.
What Education Was Actually Designed to Do
Lincoln has strong views on formal education, and they are grounded in history, not cynicism. He traces the origins of public schooling to 19th-century Prussia, where the explicit goal was to prepare a population for industrial participation: enough reading, writing, and arithmetic to run machines and organizations. What it was never designed to do was teach people how to be fulfilled.
“I think what education has to do, and doesn’t for the most part, is teach you how to be fulfilled, whatever that means.”
He made a remark that stopped me. He noted that several of his high school peers, people who had been conventionally successful, had achieved the grades and the goals and the identities that the system built for them, and later committed suicide. They had done everything right. They had simply never been asked what “right” meant to them personally.
“It’s especially frustrating to be a successful person and feel empty,” he said, “because you’ve built an identity for yourself that’s meaningless in that case.”
This is not a small observation. It is a diagnosis of a cultural failure that plays out every day in the lives of high achievers who feel they should be happier than they are, who feel guilty for not being satisfied, who have no framework for understanding why the thing they worked so hard for does not feel like enough.
The personal development world often responds to this with more productivity, more goal-setting, more optimization. Lincoln’s response is different. Stop. Look around. What are you actually aware of?
Creativity as the Bridge Between Success and Meaning
One of the most useful distinctions in our conversation came when we were exploring the relationship between rationality, spirituality, and what it takes to move from a life of achievement to a life of genuine meaning.
Lincoln does not believe you can simply add spirituality to a technically or professionally oriented life and get a meaningful result. But he does believe you can add creativity, and that creativity is where the bridge begins.
“If there’s no creativity, I think you’re two steps away from spirit, and you can’t reach it yet.”
He used Thomas Edison as an illustration. How does a person fail a thousand times and remain motivated to continue? What is sustaining that? Lincoln’s argument is that it cannot be productivity alone. There has to be something more like wonder, something that begins to approach the spiritual, even if it is never named that way.
For entrepreneurs especially, this reframe is useful. Entrepreneurship, as I have always seen it, is an inherently creative act. You are making something from nothing. You are tolerating ambiguity, failure, and the gap between vision and reality for long enough to find what works. That tolerance, that willingness to stay curious in the face of repeated failure, is not just a business skill. It is a form of spiritual practice, whether or not you call it that.
Rocky’s Perspective
What I kept coming back to during this conversation is how much of what Lincoln describes I see in the people I work with every day. The gap between what they have built and what they feel is rarely about strategy. It is almost always about awareness.
I have learned, sometimes painfully, that I cannot pull someone up a mountain they are not ready to climb. I can walk alongside them. I can point out the path. But the moment I start carrying them, I am no longer helping. I am enabling the exact stuckness we are trying to address together.
What Lincoln helped me see more clearly is why people resist even small adjustments. A change that looks minor from the outside can represent an enormous internal shift for the person being asked to make it. When someone has their finger in the dyke for years, telling them to simply remove it is not a small ask. They know what will happen when they do.
That reframe has made me more patient, and more honest, about what real change actually requires.
One Question to Sit With
Are you aware of your role in creating the things you call problems, and if you are, what are you actually willing to do about that?
Bringing It Full Circle
Lincoln Stoller has spent 70 years crossing disciplines, cultures, and inner landscapes that most people never visit once. What he has found, consistently, is that the people who are most lost are not the ones who lack resources. They are the ones who lack awareness of the resources they already have.
The diamonds are at your feet. The question is whether you are willing to look down.
About Lincoln Stoller
He combines science, spirit, economics, and mental health through an understanding of the hard sciences, the psyche, and the behavior of groups. He is trained and practice as an independent physicist publishing on topics in fundamental quantum mechanics, a past computer software entrepreneur in business automation, and now a professional psychotherapist.
He began traveling across the US as a kid, assisting his father, an architectural photographer. Then he took up mountaineering, exploring wild lands on four continents, from the tropics to the Arctic. His graduate studies took him to six universities, during which time he traveled widely and became an ambassador to families in the Caribbean and Mongolia.
As a counselor, he works with people on both the high and low ends of the spectrum using brain retraining, talk therapy, hypnosis, diet, somatic experience, and psychedelics. On the high end, he’s a coach; on the low end, he’s a therapist. He inverts these by making the able more aware of their disabilities, and the disabled more aware of their abilities.
As a blogger, podcaster, and author, he publishes regularly on topics brought to him by his connections in work, physics, his teenage son, and reflections he sees in society. His emphasis is on getting people to think more deeply, become more self-aware, and to embrace radically different points of view.
He is not an academic, not the usual therapist, and he rails against anything institutional. To evolve requires leaving everything behind, including the mind he has grown up with.
Links
Website: https://www.mindstrengthbalance.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lincolnstoller/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lincolnstoller/
Watch the full episode on YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@richersoul
https://www.facebook.com/richersoul
http://richersoul.com/
rocky@richersoul.com
Some music provided by Junan from Junan Podcast. Any financial advice is for educational purposes only and you should consult with an expert for your specific needs.
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I always listen to my own interviews afterwards to better understand what I was saying and to hear what I am failing to say. In this podcast I have a lot to say, but might have learned more if it got Kelly to do more talking.
I had ideas I wanted to express and took this opportunity to sketch them out. They related to group-think, socialized behavior, and how one achieves independent and creative thought. I worked to connect Kelly’s focus on substance addiction with my focus on thought addiction and social opportunity.
Substance addiction is a form of thought addiction at its root, and from this root sprouts all sorts of maladaptive behaviors. I focused on what I consider three pillars of creative ability: cognitive independence, subconscious engagements, and neurological flexibility.
You can find more of Kelly’s work at these sites:At her counseling site: https://www.healingappalachia.org/On her Substack: hellbillyappalachia.substack.comAt Apple Podcasts:
At iheart.com:https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1333-hellbilly-the-darker-side-328696888/Or on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/hellbillyappalachia/
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“Present-day mental health practitioners have their heads firmly inserted in their assesand generally need more help than they provide.” — Kary Mullis (2022), Nobel chemist and inventor
Bias, prejudice, beliefs, and preconceptions describe ideas that color our thoughts and resist alteration. It is the definition of structure that it provides a way to fit things together, and by adopting some structure we’re inclined to resist change for two reasons. One is that thinking takes work, not just energy but effort. And the other is that the ideas we stick to are the ideas we like, encourage, or that define us. We display these ideas in public and repeat them to ourselves. We develop our prejudices intentionally...
When something starts blinking yellow on the dashboard of your life are you going to pull over, fix the problem, and continue onward, or are you going to realize that the warning is not about your vehicle but your mind? Real change requires a fundamental change of mind; it requires an altered state.
• Where Intellect Shows• The Downside of Too Little Emotion• What Are The Alternatives?• Humor and Disrespect• Groupthink and Community Support• Can You Remain Committed If You’re Alone?• Illness and Opportunity
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I was in the checkout line two days ago behind a truly beautiful young woman. My guess is that she was 23. I wondered why I see so few people like this?...
I don’t know how people think. I cannot believe what people say in casual conversation, and have little desire to listen to them... The deeper you go into another person’s mind, the more authentic information you’ll get, but the less understandable it becomes...
• Frustration and Self-Confidence
• Sexuality, Personality, and Society
• Risks and Opportunities
• Depth in a Relationship
• Intellect, Emotions, and Association
• Meaning Making
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“The journey is the reward.” – attributed to Steve Jobs
– Going Someplace
A book called Vagabonding: An Uncommon Guide to the Art of Long-Term World Travel, by Rolf Potts, reminded me of both the benefits of traveling and the benefits of seeing in new ways. Seeing in new ways can be understood to mean seeing:
- things you weren’t looking for, things you didn’t expect, things you weren’t supposed to see, things you don’t understand, or seeing without trying to understand at all.
Clearly, what you see determines the benefit of travel, and if you don’t see anything new then nothing will change, and what’s the benefit of that? But things are not quite so simple.
If you live an anxious life and travel to a place that deprives you of anxiety, then in this place you may see nothing manifestly different, but it will feel different. This is the objective of most vacations: to get away from what people usually see and, as a result, see ourselves differently...
– Going to Non-Places
– Going Nowhere At All
– Ideas that are Never New
– New Ideas
– Doing the Creative Work
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“True honesty requires courage, character, and integrity. (It is) a very expensive gift; don’t expect it from cheap people.” — Frank Caprio, municipal court judge
I’m starting to think the most important aspect of change is courage. Of my Big Three elements for successful counseling—courage, commitment, and honesty—courage must come first, not necessarily in importance but in time. It’s courage that you need to get started, and when you need to decide but don’t know what to do. It’s courage that you need to make a change when you’re not sure what will result.
• Dragons
• Soldiers
• Responsibility is Not Heroic
• Courage Sticks, Cowardice Slips
• My Evidence, Your Evidence
• Emotional Dysregulation
• Is There a Middle Ground?
• Paths to Courage
“Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” — Martin Luther King, Jr.
It Starts with the Mind
I’m writing three related posts: “Learn to Be Smart,” “The Psychology of Culture,” and “A.I. Defeats Consultants.” They all have to do with how we take or lose control.
What comes first: controlling or having something to control? Regaining control after you’ve lost it, or losing control when you previously had it? Historically, losing control comes first. As Joni Mitchell sang, “You don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone.” So too, realizing you have something must happen before you can apply it or recover it.
We start by reacting, then learn by experience, and finally gain insight. Realizing our potential is like turning swords into plowshares; shifting from being defensive to productive. We should consider our abilities and find ways to apply them. Our basic human ability is being “smart.”
We often regret our decisions, feeling like we misjudged the situation or missed an opportunity. “Bringing a knife to a gunfight” may be an unnecessarily aggressive metaphor but I have resolved to be more assertive. The expression refers to situations you’re either underestimating or not taking seriously. Perhaps “showing up drunk for your drivers test” might be a better metaphor for how we approach self-awareness.
I’m tired of people who are indifferent to acting intelligently, which I call being stupid, and I’ve become more inclined to point it out. I want to call out bad thinking before it leads to bad conclusions. People normally disguise poor thinking with some plausible rationale, so if you get the whiff of bad thinking, you’re probably seeing through the disguise.
I made a pitch to speak with a podcaster interested in ecological conservation. I suggested we talk about why people are not more engaged with the environment. He responded, “My podcast is quite tightly focused on ecology, conservation, and human-wildlife interactions, and I don’t think your angle would be a strong fit for my audience.”
I told him he was being small minded and missing the real issue, which is not conservation. The real issue is the failure of people to be aware of their responsibility and to be stewards of the environment. I’m sure he’ll be offended, but offending people has become my litmus test: if I’m not offending anyone, then I’m not trying hard enough.
Another example is family partnerships that break up because one person is frustrated, doesn’t know how to change, and doesn’t know how to engage. From my experience as a counselor, the inability to problem solve lies at the root of most relationship struggles. It is more due to a lack of self-awareness and commitment than to the difficulty of the problem. I consider this being intentionally stupid. It’s also been called functional stupidity.
“Functional stupidity is the absence of reflection on the purpose or the wider context of a job. You do the job correctly, focusing on the technical details but stop searching for questions about the work. Three aspects characterize functional stupidity:
• Lack of reflexivity: You don’t think about your assumptions.• Lack of justification: You don’t ask why you’re doing something.• Lack of substantive reasoning: You don’t consider the consequences or wider meaning of your actions.
Wishful thinking, following leaders without scrutiny, unreasoning zeal for fads and fashions, senseless imitation of others and the use of clichés in place of careful analysis are examples of functional stupidity.” — David Wagner (2024), from The Stupidity Paradox
Smartness is Part of One’s Personality
Smartness is not an aptitude, it’s a choice. Each person certainly has aptitudes, but a lack of aptitude does not excuse a person’s bad decisions. You continue to be responsible for your decisions regardless of your ability. You’re obliged to know what you’re capable of.
I used to think that any person could be smart, and that they could develop themselves in any way. I used to think that the ranking of students was exploitative, and anyone could achieve what they set their mind to accomplishing. I felt that you should not tell people what or how to learn and instead you should support each person’s unique abilities on their path of growth.
I still believe that to some extent, but I’ve also come to believe that most people, while capable on an everyday level, lack the personal responsibility and priorities to be smart; not just act smart but think smart. Their primary obstacles are a lack of courage, commitment, and honesty. This is not the usual definition of smart, which focuses on what you can do. Instead, it’s a redefinition of “smart” in terms of what a person intends to do. It has more to do with integrity than ability.
When I was young I used to listen to myself talk to myself. I felt like my self-talk was being recorded on a slightly delayed tape loop. Now that I know more about self-awareness, hypnosis, and trance states I believe we are hypnotized by our own voice. A hypnotherapist can use their outside voice to put ideas into your head, but our self-talk does the same thing.
We believe what we say, and the more we say it, the more we believe it. This is intentional because it strengthens our emotional connection with our intellectual ideas, but it is not intelligent. Our voice echoes in our heads to inculcate us by repetition, similar to writing something on the blackboard one hundred times.
Few people take seriously their obligation to be creative problem solvers. They lack the humility to explore their ignorance, and the self-confidence to fail while retaining their sense of purpose. I partly blame poor role models and a poor learning environment. That means indifferent parents, teachers, managers, friends, and politicians. The people from whom you’ll learn the most are those who share your struggles, risks, and rewards. They will gain when you gain, and lose when you fail to understand.
Most people could achieve success if they took their responsibility to grow, support, and contribute seriously, but they don’t understand their lack of ability. They don’t see or own the skills they lack, and have become insensitive to problems of their own creation.
For more ideas on how to regain intelligence, mostly yours but maybe others, book a free call on my calendar at:
Taking Responsibility
“Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.”— Mark Twain
Here are three experiences that taught me to take responsibility for my situation. First, I took classical guitar lessons for ten years, from the ages of 10 to 20. What I learned was that I don’t have the interest to devote myself to the level that’s necessary to be a musician, so I stopped. I didn’t stop because I lacked the ability, I stopped because I lacked the drive. I might have the drive to produce some kind of music, but not that kind.
The second was high-risk outdoor activities. Mountaineering was a perfect situation for learning: if you didn’t take the situation and your role in it seriously, then someone could easily die. I climbed with quite a few irresponsible people. This taught me that both I had to be responsible and I had to demand responsibility from others. Skill is separate from responsibility; they are separate forces. A person must be clear and responsible in both regards.
The third experience is childhood. As a therapist, I experience other people’s childhoods as a showcase of failures. The lesson of childhood is that it is not until you take responsibility for yourself that you start to gain insight into other people’s thoughts and how things get done. Until you can see the importance of understanding things before you act, you cannot see how poorly other people understand and how badly they behave.
The lessons I’m referring to are partly emotional and associative, where associative refers to thinking broadly and creatively. There is a skill to this kind of thinking just as much as there’s a skill to thinking intellectually. Thinking of any kind starts with taking the situation seriously, and this applies to both problems and opportunities.
People feel they don’t understand poetry, art, music, science, or history because they feel unskilled in these areas. Consequently, they don’t value, explore, or learn from them. These areas are made exclusive because their similarities are overlooked. They are less appreciated, have less effect on culture, and “normal” awareness shrinks to either exclude them, or include them in trivial forms.
The Blindness of Being Clever
Sidney Colman was a Harvard physics professor who was great at explaining things but didn’t like mentoring students. He was likened to a combination of Einstein and Woody Allen because of his depth and wit. He was more conventional than Einstein, less of a comedian than Allen, and better at explaining things than either of them. He was illuminating and funny in his own way.
I wasn’t Coleman’s student, though I watched his lectures on videotape. I was able to spend an hour speaking with him before I entered a graduate program. A measure of one’s expertise is their ability to explain things to someone who knows none of the details and, at the time, I knew none of the details.
I asked Coleman why he was interested in physics and what I might gain from it. I remember he expressed great remorse regarding having so much expertise in the conventional understanding of so many fields and that he was not more imaginative. He said that if he had applied what he knew to black holes then he would have discovered that they could evaporate. Instead Stephen Hawking first had the idea and Sidney was left to explain it.
Sidney needed to do what I often tell my clients to do: be creative without judgment. Find situations where you can think expansively without fear or expectation. I’ll tell my clients who are financial executives to find something at which they can play, to do something in which failure is an option because there is no measure of success. This is what I learned from the classical guitar: there is something deeper than music, performance, or appreciation, and until you find it in any field you have not found the heart of it.
One of my most intellectually able mentors was a physics Nobel laureate, but he could not be a friend and had no sense of personal value. Despite his great contributions to the field I think his intelligence was limited.
Smartness is an Aspect of Virtue
We’ve been led to believe intelligence and moral values are separate qualities. We’ve been taught that being smart and being good are separate things, the development of each requiring separate efforts. We’ve been falsely taught that virtue is about human goodness when it’s really about insight into the condition of things regardless of their social impact. This is one of the many falsehoods we’ve learned from school which endeavors to separate one’s performance from one’s character.
In reality, an insightful mind makes good decisions regardless of the subject. A person who ranks high on technical performance but has little sense of value is a disregulated and manipulated person. Government schooling trains us to accept a perversion of human nature in which people learn to follow the reward system without developing a sense of what’s good.
I now believe that you cannot be righteous unless you are also smart, and I believe being smart exists in conjunction with one’s intelligence. In fact, virtue and intelligence must be understood as being connected. This is an intentional connection. You are responsible for making this connection.
The serial killer Edward Kemper had an IQ of 145, which is considered highly gifted, but a low degree of virtue by any measure. He was an extreme example of the dysfunction that results from separating intelligence and virtue. My most virtuous friend was an illiterate fisherman, who was content to remain a fisherman. He was so insightful that his community considered him a prophet.
My inspiration for seeing intelligence and virtue conjoined has been my two disappointing ex-wives who had a measure of both but could not wed the two together. These people have helped me see my own lack of discernment. I allowed myself to become entangled with these people because I believed their intelligence and their virtue were connected and would evolve together.
Fascination and Victimhood
Watch the public’s fascination with themes of instinct, insight, and exploration as these things are contrasted with exploitation, power, and domination. We see these themes in novels, movies, and TV, and in headlines describing corporate, artificial intelligence, and media control. These dramatic exaggerations help us see the differences. In reality, these issues are not black and white. They are not the fault of one actor; everyone is involved at some level or at some point.
I have been victimized and victimization offers important benefits. It reveals the full negative experience and shows it outside the context of what you’re responsible for. Without this you cannot see the depth or the origin of these attitudes. Victimization, properly appreciated, provides the deepest experience of the dysfunction in other peoples’ minds.
You may have played a role in your becoming a victim, but you rarely did so with clarity or intention. Being a victim can easily be turned into a source of power and should not be considered a personal failure, as difficult as that may be. A victim can learn; a perpetrator does not.
The Benefit of the Doubt
My attitude about other people’s irresponsibility results from giving people more respect than they deserved which was, in turn, a result of giving myself less respect than I deserved. This pessimism comes from listening to people and observing their actions.
Tolerance works against change. Not only must you reject things that are dysfunctional, you must call attention to them. It’s a question of getting your point across and dispelling false reasons.
Skills are unequally distributed, but being able to appreciate things has more to do with intention than aptitude. I may never be very good with music, but I have learned to appreciate it by being involved with and engaged in many aspects of it. You are likely unaware of how your focus, balance, awareness, and attention affects your thinking. These skills are more critical to your success in anything than the thoughts you use to justify your actions.
There are things I’m good at, like balance, rhythm, harmony, and visual memory. As I become more aware of these things in everyday life, I see the lack of these things in other people. These are not obvious differences, they emerge through the stories and presentations gifted to me as a therapist-counselor. They emerge like the little squeaks and rumbles that you hear in your car that tell you there exists some sort of tension.
I have recently resolved to require that any new clients engage in brain training. I used to encourage brain training by trying to explain it, but few people understood. My tolerance of what people do not understand contributes to their remaining stuck and society being stuck. Brain training is one of those things that can be best understood from experience, not explanation. It’s a critical skill, so I am no longer tolerating people’s ignorance of it or ambivalence to engage in doing it.
If we develop our awareness, then we can become more insightful, courageous, committed, and virtuous. The essential question is whether one can figure out how to learn, and enhance these skills with practice. I believe that most of us can learn to become more moral, humane, empathetic, intentional, and responsible. Is this a matter of taking responsibility and recognizing the need to grow, or simply grow up?
There is a majority who stop growing once they reach what’s average. They have not learned to be smart and don’t refine their aptitudes. This is a rather narrow bell-shaped curve, meaning that people tend to cluster around the norm, but there is not just one peak. There are some other peaks as well located in the areas of learning, growth, and creativity, but the numbers of people in these areas are a hundred times fewer. We call the group of people who advance themselves creative. We call the much larger group who stagnate normal.
You will not learn things you don’t know you can learn. To learn these things you must explore, experience, and develop personal insight. Don’t expect to succeed, rather recognize that success more likely reflects that you have failed to reach new territory.
Any success that is not preceded by multiple failures is probably a deception. You need to appreciate the benefits of trying new ideas that fail or go nowhere as greater than the comfortable security of having no new ideas at all. You cannot learn this from schools and teachers.
References
Wagner, David (2024 Apr 19). “The Stupidity Paradox.” thewagner.net. https://thewagner.net/blog/2024/04/19/the-stupidity-paradox/
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Julian Bermudez sits down with Lincoln Stoller—a quantum physicist, neuropsychologist, hypnotherapist, clinical counselor, psychonaut, mountaineer, author, and educator—to talk about personal growth and spiritual bypassing.
Julian Bermudez is a therapist and counselor specializing in the use of psychedelics for healing, transformation, and personal growth. Here psychedelic refers not only to substances, but to the process of awakening—moments when illusions soften, unconscious patterns come into awareness, and real accountability and responsibility become possible. The result is healing. There are many paths to get there.
Learn more at https://www.psychedelic-integration.net/
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JD Tremblay is the director of high performance and mental resilience at Hungry Warrior Academy at hungrywarrioracademy.com
JD describes himself as:
“As an integrated engineer, military veteran, naturopathic practitioner, and ultra-endurance athlete, I’ve tested human limits in some of the toughest environments on the planet, including the EpicDeca, where I became one of only three people ever to complete 10 Ironman-distance triathlons in 10 consecutive days across six Hawaiian Islands.”
His Hungry Warrior Academy:
“integrates cutting-edge human performance science with faith-centered principles to help Christian men operate at the highest level in every area of life. Whether it’s chronic stress, burnout, declining energy, loss of physical edge, or misalignment between success and purpose, we equip you with the systems to perform, lead, and live with clarity.”
with the goals of
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Maintaining clarity, discipline, and control.
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Operating at your true physical capacity.
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Living fully aligned with your spiritual values.
JD is, as I am, both a coach and a therapist. We both aim to move people and culture to a more enlightened and effective level. We both have a strong psycho-physical approach, though his approach is more fitness and physical achievement oriented. We both look at the whole person. On the other hand, JD’s program incorporates religion and encourages structure, while I avoid religion and engage chaos. Other than that, we’re on the same path.
In this interview I focus on JD’s program and how he assembles spirit, religion, physiology, psychotherapy, and leadership. His program has a predefined structure and demands adherence to his program. At the same time, he customizes his program to the needs and abilities of each client.
If you just want to listen to the audio, you can stream or download it here:
Learn more on the Hungry Warrior website at: https://hungrywarrioracademy.com
/
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Michael has hosted 162 episodes of his Brain Shaman podcast at https://www.brainshaman.com, which he describes as a philosophical and scientific journey towards better brain health. "A podcast that teaches you how to reconnect with your primordial nature, reprogram your brain, regain your freedom, and redirect your life."
This sounded much like what I'm doing, so he hosted me for another of his podcast episodes and here I have hosted him on mine. The difference is that the host is supposed to do less talking and the guest more.
I asked him about his background (Mormon), his interests (philosophy), and his profession (teaching English in Japan). These seemed disconnected to me, so I worked to pry more out of him.
Despite our different backgrounds we have similar interests and aims. It is curious to compare these two pictures of ourselves and to notice how similar they are: same eyes, same organic background and asymmetrical smiles.
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• Moving Forward
Most of us stop learning when we reach the plateau that our environment requires. Personal needs and social forces are satisfied when we resolve a situation. It’s natural to take a break and relax, but in doing so we risk becoming complacent and compliant. The rewards of satisfaction are limited.
It’s not enough to be a learner, you must be a skeptic. You must focus on what might be possible, not what others say is there or can’t be done. Learning to be smart takes a sense of direction and a measure of disbelief...
• Flying
• People Make Their Environment
• Love of Things
• Love is Not a Noun
• Attachment is a Verb
In this episode, we sit down with Lincoln Stoller — physicist, hypnotherapist, psychedelic explorer, and founder of Mind Strength Balance (https://www.mindstrengthbalance.com)— to discuss the transformative power of psychedelics.
Lincoln’s work spans the intersection of neuroscience, altered states of consciousness, and deep personal growth, making this a conversation unlike any other.
Topics we cover:
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The science and spirituality of psychedelic experiences.
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How psychedelics can break old mental patterns and open new pathways to healing.
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The difference between recreational use and intentional, therapeutic use.
Whether you’re curious about microdosing, preparing for a journey, or just exploring the edges of the mind, this episode will challenge what you think you know about self-awareness and human potential.
on Spotify
On the Challenge By Challenge website: https://www.changebychallenge.com/podcast
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“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” — Robert Anthony
Lacking a Sense of Virtue
Insecurity, guilt, and shame are powerful personal and political weapons. Once an opponent is accused of these, they are on the defensive. Once a point of view has been tainted as guilty or shameful, it is difficult to defend.
The reason these emotional manipulations are powerful is that emotion always overpowers reason. Emotion so overpowers reason that it’s an emotion connection that gives a person persuasive power, not reason or intellect. The general term for being emotionally overpowered is seduction, a combination of satisfying your emotional wants and neutralizing your reasonable powers.
A psychological ploy used in political or personal discourse applies these “tools” to defeat an opponent. This involves accusing another person of insecurity, guilt, and shame which, when done skillfully, undermines their certitude and virtue. For those people who are guided by emotion, which is most of us, appeals to emotion overwhelm reason.
This is what Trumpian politics has normalized with negative labeling, such as “sleepy Joe,” “half Whitmer,” “Crooked Hillary,” “Crazy Bernie,” “Marjorie Traitor Green,” and many others. By attaching simple epithets of flaw and failure Trump implants these ideas in the minds of simple listeners.
This is not charisma, it is emotional seduction. It leads insecure people back to the emotions of their adolescence to accept simple truths. The Pied Piper is the appropriate fable of manipulation and collective failure. According to this fable, the Piper’s retribution of stealing away the children is the result of the town’s reneging on their agreement to pay him for removing the rats. The children are never recovered.
The Devil
The ultimate explanation for failure is that the Devil is responsible. If you cannot convince people that your opponent is stupid, then call them evil.
There is the odd use of The Devil as an excuse for yourself. By admitting your failure and renouncing your allegiance you can be absolved. Modern absolution provides a full pardon, and only requires a donation and a pledge of subservience.
The Devil provides an ever-ready reason to indict an opponent and exonerate yourself. Having these handy rationales is why people are drawn to judgmental religions in the first place. Sanctifying the virtuous while overriding your opponent’s explanations...
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Lincoln Stoller works to coach entrepreneurs to be more effective, and counsel those struggling with life to better navigate issues of anger, shame, and low self-esteem. In fact, he tries to do all of these things with all his clients.
With experience in psychotherapy, physics, high-risk sports, and mind-body healing, he provides insights into how these emotions manifest in business and personal life. He emphasizes seeing the role you play in defining your reality, and how changing your understanding can give you new options.
By recognize the importance of emotional triggers, managing emotions, connecting with your subconscious mind, and building self-confidence you can develop commitment, improve decision-making, and take on a leadership role for those around you.
The full video version of our interview can be streamed at these websites:
YouTube:
Spotify:
Apple:
Audible: https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/B0F1N4XHQT?source_code=ASSGB149080119000H&share_location=pdp
Amazon: https://music.amazon.co.uk/podcasts/39af5ee4-75f1-4a85-8ce0-60a4a3199985/episodes/94d2653a-ce75-47a4-b7df-03fd25098267/heal-podcast---lily-patrascu-heal-anger-shame-and-low-self-esteem---lincoln-stoller-and-lily-patrascu
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:7307508165233807363
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I did a livestream with Terraine Lebeau, a Rasta from Toronto who complements his day job as a bank manager with life coaching and podcasting.
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In this episode of The Healing Side, Donald Dunn sits down with Lincoln Stoller—physicist turned psychotherapist—whose personal journey bridges science, spirit, and psychology into a unified approach to understanding the mind.
Lincoln shares how quantum mechanics, mountaineering, cultural immersion, and therapy converge in his work through the hidden language of dreams, the nature of trauma, and why altered states of awareness reveal truths ordinary thinking cannot reach. We talk about PTSD and anger, symbolism and self-actualization, and why “empty space”—not constant productivity—is where true growth begins.
This episode is about overcoming adversity at the inner level. The difference between chosen risk and imposed trauma; why anger works in war but fails in civilian life; and how fear and projection become tools for healing. If you’ve ever wondered how science and spirituality truly meet—or how healing actually begins—this conversation invites you to expand how you understand yourself.
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“Perspective: use it or lose it.” — Richard Bach
The expression “use it or lose it” applies to health and skill, but not to other things to which it could be applied, such as emotion, initiative, motivation, empathy, self-respect, and responsibility, just to name a few. Does it also apply to democracy?
• Is Doing the Right Thing a Privilege or a Responsibility?
• Intellectual Ability and Exercise
• Physical Ability and Exercise
• Emotional Ability and Exercise
• Can We Lose Our Ability to Symbolize?
• Use or Lose Democracy?
Dreaming Yourself Into Being and Dream Fragments are my final volumes in a quadrilogy of books on sleep, awareness, and dreams. The first book is The Path to Sleep, the second is Becoming Lucid. Both deal with sleep, dreams, and altered states, while these books specifically focuses on understanding, participating in, and benefiting from their dreams.
- Why We Dream What Dreams Are What Dreams Do How Dreams Work How Our Minds Work How to Remember Dreams Becoming Involved in Your Dreams Dark Dreams Building Light into Dreams Using Daydreams Starting the Process of Transformation
Dreaming Yourself Into Being includes 6 hypnosis inductions leading into the fundamental symbols of earth, air, fire, water, wood, and body.
Dreams remind you that you’re still exploring the conflicts and opportunities in life. In waking life you’re too busy dealing with situations to go off on tangents, but you can in your dreams, to try on new feelings and attitudes.
Dreams are workshops that confront confusion, engage emotions, and build different views of reality. In your dreams you can afford to feel as weak, indulge your fears, and assemble a stronger self. They don’t give you instructions, they unearth your feelings.
Mental health is not a rational process but it does involve your rational mind. You must feel before you think, and imagine before you see. Dreams are your most powerful tool for growth and understanding.
In this Kickstarter campaign I’m offering the book Dreaming Yourself Into Being, and a shorter book of excerpts, Dream Fragments—both at cost and in various forms: digital, print, and audio. To sponsor the campaign, preorder the book, or register for group or private sessions in dreamwork training, go to:
As part of the campaign I’m offering my online course on therapeutic dreamwork. Sign up on the Kickstarter page.
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“Let us consider that we are all partly insane. It will explain us to each other; it will unriddle many riddles; it will make clear and simple many things...” — Mark Twain.
— Divergence is Not Dysfunctional
This post is about social and collective thought. I previously made the point that people are uncomfortable talking about insanity, and this underlies the stigma it carries. There is a trend to whitewash insanity and cast it as divergent thinking, but this is a thin euphemism. Insanity is not divergent, it’s dysfunctional ...
— Superior People
Prejudice always disguises its reasons. Minorities were cast as inferior, women as unintelligent, and the poor as naturally unable. Whether the object of disdain was a race, religion, gender, or class, there was always someone putting forward a logical reason. A psychologist with a psychological assessment often provided the evidence...
— Duality Versus Distinction
There is a spiritual cred of “nondualists” who endorse the unity of all. Despite what these nonthinkers say, duality is the foundation of reasoned behavior. Whether you act rationally, emotionally, or symbolically you must contrast ideas, feelings, and options...
— When Madness Develops...
— Reaching the Civic Limit...
— You Would Not Be So Foolish...
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“I’m a curious person. That, I think, is a quality that’s necessary for education: if you’re not curious then you’re not interested, and if you’re not interested then you’re not going to learn.” — Lynn Hill, extreme athlete and professional rock climber
Curiosity or Discomfort?It seems that the more creative I become, the more isolated I become. I don’t …
Intellectual or Evasive?Reason employs deductive and inductive logic. These usually lead to what’s true, but they do not guarantee it...
Emotions Use Fuzzy LogicInductive reasoning is always fuzzy, as is any reasoning that relies on uncertain truths, vague understanding, and preconceived conclusions...
The Conclusion You Must Come ToYour thinking sucks. You must embrace that conclusion if you’re to question the way you think...
SymbolsMuch of our world is built on symbols that we accept with little question, except in our dreams...
“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently.” — Walter Isaacson
About Thinking
If you go to https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/thinking-quotes you’ll find quotes on thinking by famous people. The lack of insight is amazing. Everyone speaks as if thinking was a monolithic act that one either does or does not do. As if all one has to do is snap one’s fingers and thinking starts.
Our brains have many areas and functions. Some of these areas must collaborate to function and other are relatively autonomous. For example, our visual cortex handles vision but our central cortex handles the identification of what we see. In rare cases of neural damage it’s possible to recognize what’s in front of you without being able to see it. In contrast, our language areas operate independently so that when they’re damaged you will lose aspects of language.
Our left frontal area handles executive function, which means planning, sequencing, and prioritizing. Our right frontal areas handle emotional reactions such as fear and anger. Damage to either of these areas degrades these specific functions. And then there’s an area on the right front side of our brains that handles the emotional content of expression, what’s called prosody. This is the area that enables us to imbue art with emotion so that it is evocative and not just big, bright, and loud.
In the statements at the brainyquote.com website, no one seems to recognize these different functions. Everyone refers to thinking as if it was just one thing that everyone either does or does not do. This is obviously ridiculous!
Thinking is a mixture of functions. It is the brain’s highest form of organization. We can say that not just for humans but for all species. It’s likely that other species are more “intelligent” with regards to specific functions, but it is humans who have integrated, controlled, and applied thinking in its most comprehensive forms. For example, sharks hunt through their sensing of electric fields, and birds navigate with a magnetic compass built into their brains, but neither of these species think abstractly. And while it’s true that ravens, magpies, and parrots can solve puzzles, these puzzles are child’s play in terms of human intelligence.
Halt Your Intellect
Humans have also developed particular skills, and particularly our intellect. We might argue that our emotions are not as evolved as it seems we develop strong and enduring bonds with animals. Dogs can be trained to sense our moods even before we demonstrate them with actions. From that, we can conclude that dogs can be more sensitive to our emotions than we are ourselves.
Despite the uninspiring range of quotations at brainyquote.com, we can discern the writers distinction between intellect and emotion.
“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.” — Lao Tzu
“The problem isn’t that Johnny can’t read. The problem isn’t even that Johnny can’t think. The problem is that Johnny doesn’t know what thinking is; he confuses it with feeling.” — Thomas Sowell
Despite what Thomas Sowell says, emotion is clearly a form of thinking. Would you trust someone who claims you should separate your thoughts from your emotions? Lao Tzu wouldn’t.
Between Focus and Engagement
We use the words focus and engagement to describe how we think. Focus means being present, active, and attentive. You have focus when you control your train of thought. This supports exploration and leads to insights and confidence. We focus our intellect and we must focus in order to find solutions.
Engagement is a form of interest. This is something emotional, something more than just looking at something. To be engaged is to have a real desire to participate, a sort of emotional attraction to what’s going on. Something must have personal meaning if it is to engage you.
When my cat looks at me I don’t think he’s engaged. His thoughts, such as they are, range over food, sleeping, comfort, and relief. The most engagement he shows is in hunting. In terms of companionship, he’s affectionate in a kind of “I own you” sort of way.
Human love is an amplified form of affection. I don’t think cats have it, but I know dogs do have it. Monkeys have it, and birds might have it. Lizards don’t have it. Love affects your thinking; you might even say that love can dominate your thinking.
There are clearly different kinds of thinking and, while we express various kinds in different circumstances, it’s unclear how much control we have. After all, you cannot just go from love to no love in the way that you can change what you’re thinking about.
Dysfunction
When it comes to intellect and emotion I find people to be dysfunctional. Most people can pass an easy intellectual test whether or not they know many facts. Most people would not pass an emotional test quite so easily, although I’m not sure if there is any agreed definition of what such a test is.
I think I know, or I’m starting to know. Intellect is fairly clear as it’s all based on memory and reason. Most people can learn to be intellectual partly because intellect is so widely valued and partly because using one’s intellect is quickly rewarded.
Emotion is more difficult to test, and I notice quite a wide range of abilities in my clients and my friends. I know quite a few people whose idea of emotion does not does not go far.
I am a psychotherapist so you might think my knowledge of emotion is professionally-based; it’s not, but it has been professionally informed. My understanding of emotion comes from my wide experience in life, across cultures and classes, and what seems to be a good memory for my own feelings.
I recall returning from a 6-week expedition to climb Denali, the highest peak in North America. When I climbed out of the bush plane that took us off the mountain, I dropped to my knees on the grass, as it was my first contact with living nature in over 40 days. I was struck both by the strength of my emotion and a feeling that I might not be able to remember how I felt. As I result, I have tried and largely succeeded in remembering my emotions. But what has really blown me away is seeing that other people don’t.
Trying to tell someone to remember an emotion they’ve forgotten is like trying to explain to someone a color they cannot see. I have been married twice and there was a third long-term relationship before those. I recall feeling uncertain at the end of the first relationship and resolved to be more clear in the future. Perhaps as a result, I was aware of the disappearance of love in the subsequent two marriages. It didn’t fade away, it suddenly disappeared leaving me awestruck. I have since noticed the inability to manage one’s emotions is widespread.
What profoundly affected me was how it seemed impossible to recover love. This is important because most of my psychotherapy clients are suffering from some sort of fracture in their emotional lives. This is not so important with my business coaching clients, but even for them there is an issue of managing alliance and allegiance which has a strong element of affinity, collegiality, and obligation. One can say that business relationships that go bad can be predicted when sharing relationships dissolve.
The Missing Piece
Much of therapy and counseling centers on reconnecting thought and emotion. It’s not enough to think rationally, you must also think meaningfully. It’s meaningful progress and engagement that resolves anxiety, depression, fear, and separation. When people are meaningfully aligned, either in themselves or with each other, then they will do everything in their power to further and preserve this alignment.
I rely on using intellect and emotion with my clients. I ask them what makes the most sense and what they feel most strongly. This is clarifying, but it’s incomplete. There must also be inspiration, and that’s something that exists outside of ideas and emotions. Change, whether it’s to heal or to evolve, requires creativity.
Creativity is an unusual state. It’s both uncommon for any one person to be creative, and it’s uncommon for people to be creative in general. As a result, there is not much intelligent talk about creativity. It’s not taught or celebrated, and among the many quotes you can find on thinking there is little said about being creative.
“Sadly, in the highest levels of economic thought in government, questions are not tolerated. It is as if we’re dealing with the binary thinking of a fundamentalist religion.” — Michael Burry
If you don’t ask questions, then you’re accepting what others have thought and done. Questioning and being creative go hand in hand and they are disruptive. They are discouraged when they undermine authority.
If you will recall how you were taught to be creative, if you ever were, it was always within the context of what was acceptable. Solutions to math questions were expected to be equations; painting was to be done on the canvas; music was to be audible; and your spoken ideas were to be comprehensible to the audience. The most creative works in each of these fields departed from these expectations.
Creativity and Dreams
You are unquestionably your most creative in your dreams. You are so creative, so deviant from expectations, as to be considered psychotic. Because our rational departures are so disturbing, both to us and others if we spoke of them, we learn not to be creative and not to master creativity.
Every scene in your dreams is incongruous. You never have a single dream that “makes sense” as we normally understand it. But dreams do make sense in their own way. They make sense as explorations of conflict, uncertainty, and curiosity. They are exactly what you need to do more of if you want to become more creative.
In my two new books, Dreaming Yourself Into Being, and Dream Fragments, I talk about this extensively. I make the point that dreams are a third way of thinking, different from reason and emotion. Dreams combine memory, association, and creativity and they are unfettered by reason or comfortable emotions.
It’s not that there is a part of our brains that’s in charge of dreaming, rather there are parts of our brains that are turned off when we dream. Our ability to remember and associate are fundamental to all of our thinking processes, but when we’re awake they are conscripted to solve problems and manage situations. But in dreams we expand problems and invert situations; this is the essence of creativity!
Dreams think through association, separate from reason and emotion. Thinking by association is a third way of thinking, one that’s fundamental to other forms of thought. It’s becoming especially important in the world today. I believe it’s essential that we learn how to bring dreaming into our daily thought processes because the problems we face will not be solved using our old skills and attitudes.
This is the aim of these two books, and I encourage you to support them through the Kickstarter campaign. I’m offering them at cost, which is less than half their retail price before tax and shipping. I’m also offering enrollment in an online dream therapy course that will cover exactly these topics. If you have any interest in changing your mind and in changing the world, I encourage you to sponsor these books.
Sponsor the campaign...
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/mindstrengthbalance/dreaming-yourself-into-being-a-guide-to-personal-dreamwork
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Kickstarter
Crowdfunding is supposed to be for raising money, but I’m using it to announce my books to a larger audience. The Kickstarter website will promote any campaign that reaches its funding threshold, so I set my reward prices low and my threshold at $50. I’m hoping you’ll sponsor one of the reward tiers so the campaign will quickly exceed its threshold. You can see the campaign at:
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/mindstrengthbalance/dreaming-yourself-into-being-a-guide-to-personal-dreamwork
Dreaming Yourself Into Being
I’m offering digital, audio, paper, and hardcover versions of my new book Dreaming Yourself Into Being. The book contains 18 chapter and 248 pages in a 6”x9” format.
The book reviews dreams, dreaming, dreamwork, and dream therapy. Its chapters span theory, therapy, engagement, incubation, interpretation, and integration. I’ve included several self-hypnosis sessions that you can read and also listen to online as .mp3 audio files.
It’s a do-it-yourself guide that takes quite a different approach from all other books on dreaming. I insist dreams are not just jumbled collections of thoughts, but an effective third way of thinking, one that’s more primitive than either intellect or emotion. At the same time, dream thinking is more fundamental.
Dreams are a window onto the process by which we organize our reality. Once you stop trying to interpret your dreams and see them as explorations into thoughts you do not understand—either the scenes or the relationships between them—you’ll appreciate your dreams as not presenting answers, but presenting questions. Their confusing nature comes from their being more raw, open, and honest than you intellectually allow yourself to be.
Most people don’t remember their dreams because they find no benefit in it. When you develop a deeper relationship with your dreams you begin to understand their language. It’s a largely visual and emotional language of uncertain associations.
Your dreams are asking you to consider a kaleidoscope of situations both in themselves and in relationship to each other. These are not symbols or messages, they are questions, conflicts, and fears. Understanding this enables you to engage in the process and be less of a witness.
When you follow your dreams into areas of deeper uncertainty they begin to speak to you. At that point your dreams present you with characters who address you and situations in which you have choices. You gain a natural kind of lucidity, one that’s still in the dream but more self-aware. The continuity of your dreams grow and you remember more dreams.
Dream Fragments: Collected Ideas on Dreaming
As I finished the Kickstarter campaign page I wondered what I could add to further explain these ideas, so I wrote another book. I collected 18 of my previous posts on dreams, edited them, and added 10% more material explaining the connections between each piece.
Although these pieces were written separately over the course of three years, I found they kept focusing on the issue of how we think, and how dreams reflect a different way of thinking. The pieces are poetic, pragmatic, and epistemological. I’m really trying to get you to understand “dream think” and to use it in everyday life.
This is another aspect that distinguishes these from other dream books. I emphasize that dreams’ wide-open, uncensored, associative, and seemingly nonsensical parade of images is a passive language. It’s not trying to tell you anything, it’s trying to lead you somewhere, but it doesn’t know where.
“Nowhere” is exactly the place where we keep all of our troubled, uncertain, and repressed images. Dreams are taking you to the fertile chaos of your uncertainties and giving you a safe place in which to explore them. You certainly couldn’t do this in your waking life!
Big Discounts
The campaign offers both books in their different formats, a signed hardcover edition, and a great 18”x24” poster of the Helen Stoller collage that appears on the cover of Dream Fragments. I’m offering these at cost because I’m not looking for profit, I’m looking for exposure. If I do make a profit—I’ll profit on the posters—then I’ll use it to market the books through Amazon, Goodreads, and BookBub.
I’m also reviving my online course on dreaming, which I gave years ago and then set aside to write these books. Enrolling in the course is one of the reward tiers. Please take a look at the campaign and be a sponsor if you’re at all interested in dreamwork or the psychology of dreams.
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We need to expand our notion of thought beyond what we can talk about.
• Thinking Generally
• General Thinking
• Intellect
• Emotion
• Dreaming
• Reconstruction
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“I hope she’ll be a fool—that’s the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool.”— Daisy Buchanan, from The Great Gatsby
— What, Me Worry?
— An Intellectual Metamorphosis
— Immature Personality Disorder
— You Can Advance Your Stalled Development
"Insane people are always sure that they're just fine. It's only the sane people who are willing to admit they're crazy." — Nora Ephron, writer and filmmaker
Only on the boundary can you see both sides and distinguish one domain from another. On either side, within each area, you are immersed in the mindset of that area and subject to that domain’s notion of common sense. The world will always make some version of sense from within any domain.
—You Must Be Comfortable at the Boundary
—There is No Sanity in Staying Still
—Value Your Flaws
—More Evidence That I'm Losing It
—You're Not Crazy, You Just Think You Are
—Imbalance is Your Counterweight
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My previous piece titled The Ignorance of Intelligenceputs intelligence in aframework that’s larger than what’s intellectual. This is still too limited. The reason this is important is because the opposite of intelligence is not stupidity, it’s insanity.
We don’t recognize this, and because we don’t clearly distinguish what’s intelligent from what’s insane we allow, accept, condone, and encourage behaviors that confuse the two.
In politics, Donald Trump is both intelligent and insane, at least he was intelligent once. And because we don’t recognize his insanity we debate the intelligence of what he says and does. This is like rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.
Trump has gone a step further by surrounding himself with people who, while not insane, are not intelligent. Like many of us, these minions do not or cannot distinguish the intelligence from the insanity of their situation. As a result they potentiate the insanity.
In this short, 9-minute video I touch on the subjects of intelligence and insanity. I am bringing it to your attention so that you may think about it further. Once we recognize the insanity around us, we can push back against it. Until then, we mistakenly believe insanity is a matter of debate better left to others.
As always, if you’d like to talk about this in relation to your life you can book a video call with me on my calendar at:
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“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity.”— attributed to Albert Einstein
We break down intelligence into intellect and emotion and most discussions stop there, but there must be at least two more aspects to it. Memory is certainly one, not just what but how you remember. Memory is presumed to be impersonal and objective, which it is not. It very much depends on your situation. There is still a large fourth part which I'll call intuition.
I'm frustrated with all the natural and accepted ignorance around me. I see it in social behavior and I work to address it in my clients and myself. I'm largely successful so I know we can learn to think better.
— Memory
— Narrow Focus
— What Understanding Is
— What Emotion Can Be
— What We Accept as Normal
— Real Intelligence is Different
— What We Need To Do
Psychologist John Gartner (2025, Bjornson 2025) points out that no one is talking about Donald Trump’s insanity. Instead, they’re talking about his ineffectuality. This reflects the primary mode by which we deflect our own thin grasp on sanity: we call sanity the process of being logical. So, rather than recognize insanity, we quibble about justifying insane behavior.
Part of the reason the obvious issue of Trump’s insanity is avoided is a fear of retribution mixed with cowardice. Politics is the brokering of incremental advantage played as a cowardly game. Dainty uncalloused politics is vulnerable to despots, as we’ve seen so many times before. It will be a courageous person who takes down Donald Trump, most likely a male with battlefield experience.
• What People Are Afraid of
• The Building is On Fire
• When Delusion Is Standing Beside You
• What Is Insanity?
• Trump Derangement Syndrome
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The mechanisms of Artificial Intelligence, as they appear today, combine the ability to understand questions and find answers. Some of these answers are factual and others are expressive. But how A.I. is presented to you is mostly a scam. That’s because, as easy as it is to use A.I. tools, it’s easier to exploit people.
• Finding Support
• Your Money
• Your Habits
• The Road to Change
• Learning Your Tools
• The Cost
• Your Mental Health
“You can never get enough of what you don’t need to make you happy.” — Eric Hoffer
My Kickstarter campaign has failed. The campaign ends tomorrow night, the night of November 7th. The campaign will not reach its threshold so the game will not go into production. However, I have offered to make ten games by hand, which I will number and sign. I will still make these games for those who sponsored them.
If you’d like to get this version of the game, you still can. It’s available here, at the bottom of this page: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/mindstrengthbalance/clients-versus-architects-conquest-or-collaboration/rewards
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Physicist-turned-counselor Lincoln Stoller explains how reason, emotion, and neurology combine to reshape behavior and resolve deep patterns.
We cover neurofeedback, hypnosis, dream work, and practical tools for repatterning thought and reaction—plus insights from his book Operating Manual for Enlightenment.
“I apply a 3-part approach to psychology, partly because it makes sense, and partly because more it too much and less is too little. The three points are your reasons and your perceptions, that’s one. And second is your emotions which we overlook and feel, you know, we’ll be reasonable about things, but we’re not. The emotions are rooted deeply. They’re like dandelions in your lawn; you’re never going to get rid of them all, you’re not going to prevail. And the third thing is neurology, which is your habitual reactivity to things.
This third thing is what brain training is about. It’s basically about relaxing your triggers which are not entirely emotional or intellectual, they are built in to your neurology.” — Lincoln Stoller
List to this episode on:
Spotify — Apple Podcasts — Listen Notes
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“The non-local nature of quantum mechanics is widely accepted, though physicists still debate its implications for our understanding of reality.” — Google’s A.I. summary
"Doing something to one system has no effect, instantaneous or otherwise, upon the other system.” — R. Griffiths, physicist
Given that the subject addressed here shapes the fundamental way we understand the universe you would think physicists would care but, lacking any resolution, they avoid the topic.
• Social Attitudes• Kinds of Work• Big Questions• What People Say• The Anticlimactic Solution• 2-Dimensional Things• What About Reality?• Who Gets Credit For This?
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“The penguin sat quietly, keeping Amos’s feet warm.” — Philip Christian Stead, author
Hypnosis can raise the temperature of your hands, put you to sleep, and excite your emotions. But it goes beyond that.
— Interoception— Self-Hypnosis— Trance Induction— Now Warm Your Feet
Who cares?
Shared community
A group activity is an obvious aspect but a poor definition of a
Levity and amusement
Sense of purpose
An Outlet for Tension
A Delicate Balance
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“Personality tests are about as accurate as your astrology sign or your destined Hogwarts house.” — Greg Murray (2021),psychologist
— Evidence of What?Personality profiles are bogus manufactured evidence for two reasons...
— About That Tree That Fell in the Forest…Nothing has meaning without someone to appreciate it.
— Separating Fact from FictionAn inventory is not a valid measure of existential issues.
— LSI GraphsThe validity of these graphs rest on their being sold to you.
— Are All Ideas Good Ideas?What’s important is knowing what’s needed and when.
— Do Planets Have Personalities?You’re much better off examining your identity in order to become the person you want to be.
On September 19, 2025 I interviewed Sammy Williams, a London-based holistic nutritionist and intuitive eating coach about her experience overcoming a life-long eating disorder using the psychedelic 5-MeO-DMT and therapy. We talk about her background, her experience leading up to using psychedelics for healing, the psychedelic experiences, and the integration afterwards.
Through the process of recovery, Sammy trained as a nutritionist and coach. Now she blogs, offers courses, and individual remote counseling for clients worldwide.
"You can choose to stay in a rut if you’re in one for the rest of your life, or you can make a different choice today and decide to change something. You know, you’ve got nothing to lose…
"We all have the power to change our lives. The transformation that you go through when you start a journey like this, you can’t even imagine the things that are going to happen to you…
"Sometimes we need some help and support, and sometimes that’s the hardest thing to ask for, but get over yourself and just do it."— Sammy Williams
Learn more of what she offers at her Natural Nutrition website: https://www.naturalnut.co.uk
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“The object of art is not to reproduce reality, but to create a reality of the same intensity.”— Alberto Giacometti, sculptor
Storytelling is a Game
There are only small differences between games and works of art. The main difference is the involvement of more than one person. Games involve collaboration while the appreciation of art is solitary.
Art is usually created by one artist and experienced in one person’s imagination. Many can be present, but each has their own experience. Most games involve more than one person, though there is a growing inventory of single-person games. Among them, some are artistic, though they’re mainly entertaining. We’re starting to see games that focus on expression and creativity.
Games will have a hard time becoming works of art as long as they’re created for a market that’s juvenile and unappreciative. Some art is interactive, whimsical, and entertaining but it hasn’t been gamified. Multi-person games, involving two or more people, have a narrow niche and more difficulty in becoming purely artistic.
The defining characteristic of art is its suggestion of something you don’t know what to do with; it generates a paradox. As long as something must be entertaining, it’s difficult to also be paradoxical.
Multi-person video games are expensive to create, some cost $100 million dollars, more than the cost of producing a movie. To submerge you in your imagination either requires a big budget or a child’s mind. If games are to become art, then we need an audience that has not yet been created.
There is also the issue of pacing. Games have built-in clocks—their alternating turns, the duration of their puzzles, and the pace of their rewards. Novels have pacing too, but it’s more varied. Literary works can add digressions, a game can only digress when the digression brings all players with it. This difficulty in shifting the pacing of a game affects the storytelling.
Gamifying Drama
The trend to create serial dramas was credited to Charles Dickens in 1836. The number of serial dramas has now overtaken single-release movies, as you can see in the offerings of streaming media companies like Netflix.
These were called soap operas in the 1950s, whose quality and budgets were minimal. Today’s budgets are huge though their quality remains poor. They are pay-for-play entertainment, not works of careful authorship. Serial entertainment has not made a good platform for art.
It takes more than just a continuing plot to create a meaningful world. Authors of the serial format rarely create themes that span more than a single story. Each episode of the travel adventures in The Pickwick Papers (Charles Dickens)—called the first serialized novel—the 007 spy series (Ian Fleming), and the detective stories of Sherlock Holmes (Arthur Conan Doyle), all conclude at the end of each installment.
“‘Literature’ is not a big enough category for Pickwick. It defined its own, a new one that we have learned to call ‘entertainment.’”— Nicholas Dames (2015)
Themes spanning more than a single book are contained in Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings, Frank Herbert’s Dune, and J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter. Many blur the boundary between having a single plot and being a series of adventures.
Screenwriters are creating movie franchises, but this has not generated literature of any quality. A quick look on Netflix shows most of the offerings are serialized. None rate as literature and most are poor movies. Even the most popular, like the Star Trek and Star Wars franchises, are not literature.
Neil Gaiman, author of great children’s stories (The Graveyard Book and Coraline) also creates video serials (The Sandman, Good Omens, and Dead Boys Detective Agency). But the video serials lack the quality of his writing due to the format, cost, involvement of many authors, directors, producers, executives, and limitations of Gaiman himself.
Most great literature is ahead of its time, while entertainment must be popular in its time. This debases the themes and trivializes the content. Existential questions don’t attract the average viewer who is celebrity-obsessed and poorly read.
Dramatizing Games
Movie remakes are a special kind of serial. Theatrical remakes are often better than the originals, while movie remakes are usually worse. Live theatre aims for quality while movies aim for profit. Consider King Kong, Peter Pan, Dracula, A Christmas Carol, and many others.
Viewers of remakes expect novelty and familiarity, and this is similar to the expectations of those replaying a game. Game replay rarely delivers the novelty of a movie sequel, but it could aim to.
Current games don’t remake themselves with each playing, but this is changing. Most of the board games I’ve designed change on each playing due to rearrangements of the board, resources, rules, objectives, and game play. Traditional board games changed only through the action of the game, but the genre has gone well beyond this.
I use asymmetry to take this further, and asymmetry can be built into any level. Clients vs. Architects satirizes the genre of simple attack games like Monsters vs. Aliens and Plants vs. Zombies. It goes to the intellectual high end of architecture where we’ve seen a good deal of monstrous behavior.
Monster Architects vs. Client Zombies
Architecture, the most utilitarian of the arts, is an appropriate landscape for the monstrous profit motive. In Clients vs. Architects each board is different, just like every architectural commission.
The game reflects construction in real life that is both a puzzle and a maze. And while great architects create great works, it’s their reputation that’s most enduring. The client may use the building but, to an architect, they’re just one consumer among many. The client’s essential purpose is to further the architect’s reputation.
I’ve found it easy to create games that are unique in appearance, form, and function. The game industry, still largely producing consumer toys, has yet to rise to the level of art. Clients vs. Architects attempts to combine all three: entertainment, art, and story. It will not be mass produced; it will only be available as a pre-order through the Kickstarter campaign.
The campaign will start October 1, 2025 and run for 3 weeks. We need to pass the funding threshold in that time or nothing will be created. After the campaign ends, and if it has succeeded, new orders will be accepted for about another month.
If you’re reading this before October 1, subscribe to the email list for news and updates: https://clientsversusarchitects.eo.page/81csy
If you’re reading this after October 1, pledge on our Kickstarter page:
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/mindstrengthbalance/clients-versus-architects-conquest-or-collaboration
To see the large collection of artist games I designed, go to my games page: https://www.mindstrengthbalance.com/alternative-education/games-system/
References
Dames, Nicholas (June 2015). “Was Dickens a Thief?”. The Atlantic. https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2015/06/was-dickens-a-thief/392072/
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“Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” — Thomas Jefferson
• Getting a Straight Answer• Seeing the Truth But Not Saying the Truth• Internal Truth Versus External Truth• Seeing Is Not Believing• What Are You Hiding Behind?• Honesty Cannot Be Negotiable• Open Your Dreams
A 60-minute interview recorded on September 18, 2025.
Indra Rinzler is a Vedic Astrologer and Spiritual Coach with bases in India and Norther California. I spoke with him on the intersection of spiritual and psychological counseling:
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The higher self
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Wisdom of the body
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Sanity and consciousness
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The reality of purpose and value
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The search for answers
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The four ways to conscious living
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Insight always involves the coming together of many things without a loss of complexity. Insight is not simply the ingestion of data, it requires the digestion of it. Insight unfolds slowly because it adds connections between things rather than just increasing their numbers...
If this essay seems confusing it’s because it strings a thin web across a broad topic. It could be amplified one hundred fold but would only be twice as memorable. Shorter is better. Remember these steps: for greater continuity in your life, embrace diversity and confusion while cultivating persistence, awareness, skill, and discernment.
“By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.” — Confucius
We credit ourselves with our successes. What you're willing to risk may come down to what you lack. If you feel you lack skill, that's what you'll test. If you're uncertain about what you believe, you'll aim for truth. If you feel yourself undeserving, you'll seek virtue. And if you lack beauty in your life, then you might risk your life to find it…
Pursuing rewards at great risk is an incomplete formula. Risk tolerant people may use this formula because they feel they are immune from harm. But if you have to take big risks to maintain your state of mind, are you playing a winning or a losing game? Maybe success is something you start with rather than aim for.
— Science, Business, and Relationships
— Celebrating The Winners
— Don't Follow the Leader
— Survivorship Bias
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Pauline Victoria is a podcaster and life coach. She says of herself:
I was born into darkness, not having arms and legs, and that circumstance will never change. What can be altered is how I choose to live—in love, in joy and in possibility. That is where my victory and my message is. What makes me unique is using what little I was given to live significantly in my small victories to make a great difference.
Introducing our conversation, Pauline says:
In this soul-stretching conversation, Pauline sits down with Lincoln Stoller, therapist, hypnotherapist, and founder of MindStrengthBalance.com, to explore the truth behind sustainable success, mental resilience, and why struggle might be the very thing shaping your fulfillment.
Lincoln brings a deep and refreshing perspective on achievement, therapy vs. coaching, why goals alone can leave us feeling empty, and how failure is often the only way we truly build a meaningful life. If you’ve ever reached the top of your game and still felt unsatisfied—or are currently in the messy middle—this episode will remind you what truly matters on the journey.
Key Takeaways:
• Coaching helps you attain your goals—therapy explores why you have them.• Success without self-awareness leads to emptiness.• Struggle isn’t a sign you’re failing—it’s a sign you’re growing.• Failure clarifies direction. To find the path you must first map the territory.• Material gains are external; satisfaction is internal. Cultivate both.
For more information about Pauline Victoria and her programs go to her website at https://onelegupproductions.com/
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You will stop sabotaging yourself when you stop asking the same questions. This opens a door to a slew of related behaviors, none of which are simple. By considering these related behaviors we can clarify why self-sabotage is both hard to see and hard to stop.
•Understanding Is Valuable, Awareness Is Critical
•Surrender Leads to Success
•Reasons Mean Nothing
•Making Corrections
•Proving Yourself
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Straight Forward GamesPlaying a fair game is an expression that can refer to living a balanced life. In the context of an actual game, the expression means recognizing the odds and avoiding preferential outcomes...
Not So Simple LifeMany of the same expectations and rewards of a fair game apply to life...
Where Being Fair StartsI start by asking questions which amount to me moving aside what you’ve arranged at the front of your personality...
Fairness is HonestyA fair game, like a fair situation, is one that reveals itself. Presentation, explanation, and understanding are all aspects of honesty...
Driving Toward the FutureNow consider how we live our lives. Here there are no traffic rules, turn signals, or speed limits...
Balance is Most ImportantFairness is how you play, but balance is what you play for...
Back to the GameWhen we live, we pick our games too, our decisions are just more complicated...
CounsellorsI recognize what I do as an important, additional element in some people’s lives...
I Don’t Think Much, and Neither Do You: We consistently, pervasively overestimate our powers of conscious thought...
Mapping Out the Territory" We need a map of events in the world to tell us how things are related and how we’re going to react to them...
The Train Dream: I had the following dream...
“But I Don’t Dream”: We spend a third of our lives in dreams...
Dream Work: The best way to be present in your night time dreams is to spend time day dreaming...
Benefits and Expectations: What we imagine guides our perceptions and sets our expectations...
Here is Your Homework: Amplify the meaning of your imagination... is the limit of your tolerance and engagement, and that’s where you want to stop and look around...
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“I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.”— Groucho Marx
• Clarifying A Basic Confusion• Why So Depressed?• There is a Key• Depression as an Aspect of Your Brain• Depression as an Energy• Retraining For Relief
Rachel’s interest focuses on spirit and healing while mine also includes philosophy and science. She introduces our discussion this way:
What happens when a physicist turns inward? In this transformative conversation, psychotherapist and consciousness explorer Lincoln Stoller shares his evolution from the rigid world of analytical science into the vast terrain of inner healing, mysticism, and human potential.
From summiting literal mountains to diving into the subconscious terrain of dreams, Lincoln invites us to reframe discomfort—not as something to escape, but as a powerful portal to healing. Through stories of cultural immersion, nighttime visions, and grounded practices like walking meditations, he reminds us how presence and curiosity can dissolve our inner limitations.
This episode isn’t just about ideas—it’s an invitation to stretch the edges of your consciousness. Whether you're craving deeper meaning, navigating personal transformation, or seeking soulful tools to break free from old patterns, this episode will move you.
Let Lincoln’s wisdom awaken your own. Your discomfort might just be the dream whispering your next step.
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“All of this (current world situation) is very familiar to anybody who's lived in a country that has experienced the takeover by a… we used to call them Big Men in Africa.
“There was this post-colonial, post-liberation period when these figures, very Trump-like figures, came in. And it served a purpose, which was to give people a sense of comfort that in this rapidly changing world they (The Big Men) would control it and turn things back to the way they'd always been. So in Zimbabwe, you know, very similar rhetoric, very similar playbook.
“It's interesting to be in Africa as all this happens, because there's a there's a little bit of a sense of relief. You know, everybody used to say, ‘Oh, this continent was a basket case. And how does it always elect these terrible people? And why do people not do better in terms of resisting it?’ And people here, now, are sort of saying, ‘You see, it happens.’ And, unfortunately, once it happens, it’s very hard to undo it.”— Jillian Reilly
In this interview Jillian and I introduce ourselves and what we’re working on. Me on issues of facilitating personal change and how people’s thinking is shaped by groups. Jillian on social change and how group thinking is held back or moved forward by the thinking of individuals.
The Ten Permissions is scheduled for release in September of 2025 and can be preordered on Amazon.
Vain Aid: Jillian Reilly at TEDxCapeTownThe Ten Permissions, with Jillian Reilly (YouTube)https://www.australasianchangedays.com/project/jill-reilly/thetenpermissions (Instagram)
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A June 2025 conversation between me and Philipp Kobald, a podcaster with a startlingly similar background to my own: business, spirituality, mountaineering, psychology, and education.
We talk about all of these things incidentally, but float above them on a layer of spiritual concern. This is as it should be. All things should have spiritual foundations.
https://holisticcircle.org/blogs/news/what-a-mountaineer-turned-therapist-learned-about-healing-while-hanging-on-cliff-s-edge
What the video version on YouTube:
Philipp was impressed with our conversation and wrote a lengthy summary of it. Here’s what he said, which is posted on his website.
A Raw Look at Inner Exploration with Lincoln Stoller
By Philipp Kobald in cooperation with AIwww.HolisticCircle.org©2025 HolisticCircle
Don’t Try This at Home, Unless You’re Ready to Change Your Life
If your idea of self-work involves scented candles and journaling prompts, Lincoln Stoller might make you feel like you’ve brought a foam sword to a gladiator match. Here is a man who free-soloed cliffs, consumed ayahuasca in the Americas, studied quantum physics, and now — presumably with both feet firmly back on the ground — helps people explore their inner landscapes as a psychotherapist and brain trainer.
And yet, despite his death-defying CV, what Stoller champions is not adrenaline. It’s honesty. Brutal, inconvenient, edge-of-the-precipice honesty. The kind that tells you your brain’s trying to communicate via dreams, and you’re ghosting it.
Early in the episode, host Philipp Kobald finds unexpected common ground with Stoller. Both grew up immersed in the raw beauty of high-altitude landscapes, and their mutual love for mountaineering becomes more than a metaphor — it’s a shared language. As Philipp puts it, mountains teach you honesty in a way no therapist ever could. One wrong move, one dishonest thought about your limits, and nature will remind you who’s really in charge. It’s not just a nice bonding moment — it’s a grounding force for everything that follows.
This was no spiritual sugar cube of a chat. Hosted with his usual gentle mischief by Kobald, Spiritual Conversation (produced by HolisticCircle) went spelunking into the caverns of mountaineering, neuroscience, psychedelics, and the weird nightly theatre of dreams. Spoiler: you’ll never look at that one recurring dream about losing your teeth the same way again.
The Mountaineer Who Fell Into the Mind
Stoller’s journey from cliffs to counseling reads like an indie film that wins awards in Berlin. After scaling literal mountains, he took a nosedive into physics, then fell sideways into shamanism and psychedelics. Somewhere between salvia and neurofeedback therapy, he stumbled upon the realization that the biggest climbs are internal.
His spiritual awakening didn’t arrive via incense or a perfectly curated yoga playlist. It came via the moment he realized that free-soloing thousands of feet up a mountain without a rope was not only inadvisable — it was stupid. Or in his words, “If everyone did what I did, half the planet would be gone.”
Now, instead of chasing summits, he helps others descend into themselves, one deeply uncomfortable truth at a time. Yes, there are ropes involved. Emotional ones. Tension lines strong enough to support people tumbling through grief, depression, anxiety — or just the existential swamp we call modern life.
Dreams Are Not Oracles, They’re Audits
If you’re still clinging to the notion that dreams are cute little metaphors for your waking life (“I was flying — so I must be seeking freedom!”), Stoller is here to torch your dream dictionary. To him, dreams are not messages. They’re more like audit reports from your subconscious: overwhelming, disjointed, and rarely flattering.
Dreams, he explains, are your mind’s attempt to stitch together nonsense into a meaningful pattern. It’s your internal cartographer mapping chaos. And no, that flying dream doesn’t mean you’re destined for greatness — it probably means you’re about to nosedive into your own limitations.
Rather than decode dreams like horoscopes, Stoller suggests experiencing them — like stormy weather. Forget searching for meaning in a talking rabbit. Ask instead: where am I holding back? What am I unwilling to see?
Healers, Beware the Enlightenment Industrial Complex
Stoller doesn’t mince words when it comes to healers and seekers outsourcing their intuition to institutions — especially educational ones. Take his view on bringing “spirituality” into classrooms. It sounds like a lovely idea until you realize, as he says, that schools already do a marvellous job of crushing curiosity without getting their hands on your dreams too.
The push to include dreamwork and introspection in schools? He calls it out for what it could become: another bureaucratic attempt to standardize the ineffable. A therapist, he argues, earns your trust through honesty, not a state-approved certificate. Especially when working with children.
For healers, it’s a sobering reminder: your gift isn’t data-driven. It’s soul-driven. And it doesn’t need to be approved by a panel of government-funded mindfulness consultants.
Brains, Rewired and Rebellious
No, you can’t rewire your personality in 90 days, despite what the neuroscience influencers with unnaturally white teeth might promise. Stoller dismantles that claim with the same steady conviction he used to dismantle crampons after risky climbs.
He explains the brain not as a machine to be programmed but as a living ecosystem. Sure, you can improve focus, reduce anxiety, and enhance sensitivity using neurofeedback (which he’s done for a decade). But change isn’t a vending machine. You don’t insert affirmations and expect enlightenment to drop out the bottom.
Instead, he urges clients to work with what’s real: their own perception, dreams, and failings. Particularly the failings. Those are gold mines — if you dare to dig.
If You Survive, You’re a Better Therapist
The most jaw-dropping moment? Stoller comparing counseling to mountaineering. Yes, therapy, too, can be a high-risk sport. The emotional terrain is jagged. The people you’re trying to help will, eventually, shoot their worst at you. And your job, as a healer, isn’t to flinch.
“You want to be hurt,” he says. Not in a martyrdom way, but because if you can’t be moved, you can’t be useful.
The goal isn’t detachment. It’s resilience. If you can take emotional bullets, process them, and still help someone climb their own inner cliff, you’re not just a healer — you’re a bloody miracle.
A Word to the Would-Be Dream Warriors
Stoller’s book on dreaming isn’t some fluffy guide to decoding your inner unicorn. It’s more like a firestarter for your unconscious. He offers a four-part method: incubate the dream, wake with intention, practice lucid dreaming with humility, and use daydreams consciously like emotional reconnaissance.
But mostly, he warns: be prepared. Dreams aren’t cute. They’re not safe. They will drag you through hell if that’s what your psyche needs. And if you’re doing it right, you won’t just wake up remembering them — you’ll wake up changed.
There’s No Finish Line—Just Deeper Honesty
The conversation ends where all good quests do: not with answers, but with better questions. How do we become honest enough to heal? How do we climb the mountains within without losing our footing — or worse, becoming unbearable?
Lincoln Stoller doesn’t offer a branded solution. What he offers is a challenge. To go further. Think deeper. Feel more. And maybe — just maybe — ditch the rope and trust yourself for once.
If you’re curious to watch the full descent into mountaintops, dreams, and mental jungles, the Spiritual Conversation with Philipp Kobald and Lincoln Stoller is waiting for you on the @HolisticCircle YouTube channel. Wear a helmet. And maybe bring a notebook.
By Philipp Kobald in cooperation with AIwww.HolisticCircle.org@2025 HolisticCircle by Philipp Kobald
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“The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.”— attributed to Albert Einstein
Love
On the face of it, love is an immature emotion but there are various kinds, so I must be more specific. There are different things to love and ways to love, and some are more enlightened than others. A person can love from different aspects of their being, and each of us expresses these aspects to different degrees.
There’s physical love which is generally thought to mean sex but really means having a physical connection. Physical love develops a sense of peace and trust based on being physically present and mutually supporting. If you live with someone and rely on them and they are suddenly removed, there is a fracturing of a physical bond.
Intellectual love, which doesn’t sound compelling, is a real thing. It means more than just being agreeable. It can mean supportive, enduring, and reliable. If you’re an intellectual person and you strive to create a world that makes sense, then being in partnership with someone who understands you and supports your understanding creates an important bond. It’s fair to call this love because breaking this bond will cause heartbreak.
But it’s emotional love that we think of first because this is the most common, dependent, deceived, attractive, rewarding, and frequently denied form of love. And it is all of these things not because it’s the most difficult, but because it’s generated by one person’s fantasies. And while there is nothing wrong with fantasy, as it’s a necessary part of creative thinking, it serves a temporary function.
Hate
Hate is also an immature feeling. By hate I don’t mean simply an adversarial attitude, I mean a mental obsession. A specific, negative projection about a person, place, or thing. And it’s not the negativity that’s immature—there may be good reasons to be negative—it’s hate’s obsessive and unexamined nature that makes it immature.
Hate can also be physical, intellectual, or emotional, but these are not simple opposites to love. You may hate being in pain, and that’s a real hate. The simple presence of certain people may cause you anguish. The longer you remain in the presence of these people, even if nothing is said or done, the more anguish you’ll feel. At some point, your hatred will grade into anger.
I’m not sure about intellectual hatred but it seems possible, it’s just not something I can easily identify. It would be an overwhelming, intellectual negativity that clouds your thinking. It would not be emotional.
My attitude toward people who endorse slavery is something like intellectual hatred. It’s an antipathy that’s cold and calculating but not passionate. Manipulative people who lie to achieve their ends trigger similar feelings. Donald Trump elicits intellectual hatred and this seems to be his intention. But when the feeling becomes passionate, it becomes emotional hatred.
Emotional hatred is what we’re familiar with. This is the red hot feeling of being personally, physically threatened. Politicians incite intellectual hatred because it always spills over into emotional hatred, and it’s emotional hatred that turns people into puppets.
Whoever controls your emotional hatred controls you, and if no one controls your hatred, then the hatred itself controls you. Your hatred can be directed to motivate you to war, or your hatred can motivate you to violence. It’s interesting that despite being one of our strongest motivators, hatred accomplishes nothing more than creating distance. You’d think there would be easier ways to accomplish this.
Projection
Projection is simply applying an attitude as a way of description. It’s a way to illustrate what you feel, but it’s not a property of the situation. This means that what you project only endures as long as you continue to project it. It is not something you’ve recognized as part of a relationship, it’s how you’ve decided to connect the dots. The dots may be real, but the way you connect them probably is not.
We disparage projection as false and pretentious, but we should appreciate its positive role. There is a reason that we project our love and hatred on situations. It begins a process of development. But rather than learning how to use projection as part of a process, we’re taught to consider these projections as accurate.
We believe our first impressions or the first impressions offered by authorities. What could be a good starting point, and one that's an essential step in creative thinking, becomes an undeveloped end point. As a result, we learn to be stupid.
Why Do We Do This?
You have to imagine something before you can build an understanding, and once you have an understanding, you can start to take steps to strengthen it. Just as you trace an image on a blank canvas before you begin painting, so also you project your ideas on a situation before you begin thinking. What you project becomes an opportunity that you can invest in.
But an idea is not a realization. An image of a sculpture is far from the finished work. Clearly, you need the image before you begin. Without a basic image you’ll build in the wrong place, or you’ll start by putting a roof on the ground. Projection is necessary, it’s something one should learn to do in childhood through play. It’s something that must be refined.
What We Miss
Having an idea does not tell you how to put it into practice. Taking prescribed actions doesn’t tell you why you’re doing them. There is a step between conception and conviction that’s missing when we educate people poorly.
Telling people what to think without fostering the growth of their bodies, minds, or emotions is a central failing of “modern” culture. By modern, I mean the money economy in which people work only to accumulate security.
If you never learn how to take the love you project and create the relationship you imagine, then you end up with hollow, unsustainable relationships. If you never learn how to take the hate you project to fix the bad situations you imagine, then you squander your energies destroying environments that are necessary for long-term survival.
Unrefined love is an undiscerning acceptance which fosters all sorts of unhealthy behaviors. Unrefined hatred is an undiscerning rejection which, like a forest fire, burns everything. We find both of these in the natural world, but they are part of larger processes.
Nectar and forest fires have their place but they are parts of processes that require discernment and endurance. Membranes and boundaries protect resources. Thorns and toxins keep exploiters away.
We must be similarly discerning with our destruction. We must inflate and examine our projections to see our ideas more accurately. Just as a movie projects a 2-dimensional image that we expand to three or more dimensions, we need to learn to do this with our imperfect projections.
How to Do Better
There are many pieces between initial ideas and completed constructions. These are the pieces that connect our imaginations with our practical skills. We send people to school in an attempt to teach this to them. Schooling succeeds to a small degree, but fails to a large degree. We learn how to hold a job, but we don’t learn how to foster love or channel hate. We don’t learn how to learn.
“Education is what people do to you. Learning is what you do to yourself.”—Joichi Ito, entrepreneur
The result is what we see in the “modern” world: failed marriages, broken families, global poverty, and endless war. All of these are failures in realizing human ideas. Not “ideals,” as those are the goals; “ideas,” as those are the means.
Most people don’t recognize that these laudable processes—relationship, family, community, and culture—begin failing as soon as we move beyond our immature conceptions of them. We project these conceptions on the world and invest our 2-dimensional understanding. No one is teaching us to do better.
A successful marriage takes more than two people consenting to an illusion. A successful nation requires more than one person declaring himself dictator. You cannot react to failure by becoming depressed. Failure offers both losses and lessons and must be seen as a new starting point. In each of these cases what’s lacking is skill. How does one get it?
It’s hard to develop an aptitude that was supposed to develop when you were young. People who were traumatized or abused as children were denied an important part of their development. Many normal people get angry and reactive when obstructed, rather than becoming curious and resilient.
Young people approach problems with body, mind, and emotion at a time when they have support to play, explore, fail, and experiment. Real world problems require a complex combination of skills that cannot be broken down into book-learning form. This applies to academic subjects but applies even more to relationships, families, and cultures. These are full spectrum problems.
Once we’re adults, we no longer have that support, and we cannot engage in that kind of learning. As adults, our time is limited and there is little opportunity for full spectrum learning. We’re taught instructions without learning skills. The result is the collapse of relationships, families, nations, and cultures.
One solution is clear: discard what you know and start over. This sounds silly, but this is what learning always entails. Forget what you love or hate and relearn these things. To do this you must find the time and resources.
This is a prescription for re-schooling, and that makes sense for intellectual learning, but what about physical and emotional learning? The school version of physical education was always a joke, and emotional education never existed. The intellectual part is the least important because it’s the easiest. It’s the other skills we lack.
My work as a counselor involves helping people develop emotional skills. I can say at least this much: don’t let your time be taken from you and wasted in emotionally unrewarding ways. Don’t let negative people and attitudes control you. Build on healthy foundations. I will try to be more specific later.
Speak to me love, hate, and projections by scheduling a free call:
https://www.mindstrengthbalance.com/schedule15
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In this deeply layered conversation, quantum physicist and clinical counselor Dr. Lincoln Stoller. joins me to explore the terrain between science, and spirit. From neural training, and anxiety to the unseen forces that shape identity. Lincoln opens up about parenting, failure, and the work of becoming who you are. It's a raw, unscripted look into the psychology of creativity, and what it takes to truly grow.
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“Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.” — Charles Addams
Intelligence Quotient
IQ is a measure of a person’s mental ability to perform functions considered valuable. The metric was created at a time when eugenics was on the rise, and people were being ranked according to their race, age, gender, and cultural background.
In the early 20th century psychological semi-sciences were being applied to education and social engineering. The goal was to identify people most likely to outperform in a modern, Western society. IQ is useful in predicting how a person will perform on tests administered in schools.
IQ is not so much measured by IQ tests as it is defined by them. These tests do measure something. A person’s IQ is stable over time as long as they don’t try to improve their skills on these tests, but the tests are neither comprehensive nor intrinsic. You can improve your IQ score with training.
Those people who do the best on IQ tests are those people who think linearly, which is like the questions on the tests, and who respond receptively to being told they need to answer questions. The questions on IQ tests are narrow-minded and specifically focus on circumscribed, deductive thinking.
Creative people perform below what is expected of them because they are inclined to think differently, which means they distort the questions they’re asked. People rarely value another person’s distortion of their questions.
https://youtu.be/1b47iyAJro
with Ivan Palomino
Transforming Work Culture | Passionate about Human Development | Tech Entrepreneur
Join two expats, me a New Yorker in Canada and Ivan a Peruvian in Switzerland, as we explore how one authentically changes. You can choose the benefits and the risks but you cannot choose not to change. To not change is to decay.
Ivan writes:
The world of self-development is a bustling marketplace of ideas, promising everything from financial abundance to inner peace. But how do we, as individuals seeking genuine growth, discern the truly valuable from the merely seductive? This question recently guided my conversation with Lincoln Stoller, a remarkable mind whose journey spans quantum mechanics, anthropology, and psychotherapy. Our discussion, recorded for the Growth Hacking Culture podcast, peeled back the layers of popular self-help narratives, revealing a nuanced perspective that is both deeply personal and rigorously science-informed.
The Allure and Ambiguity of Self-Development
It's no secret that the self-development industry is booming. Companies alone are forecasted to spend over $80 billion by 2032 on this very pursuit. As individuals, we are bombarded with information and voices, all promising keys to a "best life." But as Lincoln aptly put it, the line between helpful advice and "purely b**t" can be thin.
My personal interest in this topic stems from grappling with popular self-development teachings that often intertwine concepts like quantum physics and the law of attraction. Are these genuine connections, or just clever marketing? Lincoln, with his doctorate in quantum mechanics, offered a refreshing take: it’s often about metaphor. Imagination, he argues, is crucial for conceiving something before it can be made real. While many scientists object to what they see as the "bastardization of science in the name of spirituality," Lincoln believes they might be missing the power of metaphor. Science, particularly fields like quantum mechanics where even physicists struggle with full comprehension, can provide new frameworks for understanding. The goal isn't necessarily factual accuracy, but rather to disrupt old ideas and open the mind to new possibilities – a process, he noted, akin to certain methods of hypnosis where confusion can lead to a state of receptive trance.
The Elusive Red Line: When Metaphor Becomes Misleading
This brings us to a critical ethical question: where is the "red line"? When does the use of metaphor in self-development cross into misleading advice? I shared my concern about certain gurus who present scientific concepts, like quantum mechanics, not as metaphors for understanding but as justifications for their own lack of understanding, blurring the lines for their audience.
Lincoln acknowledged the desire for a clear boundary, but painted a more complex picture. He observed that "most arguments are kind of frivolous and shallow," with few people truly deeply understanding any argument. He cited the fascinating dynamic between figures like J. Krishnamurti and David Bohm, where their intellectual exchanges, though stimulating, were often based on differing conceptual languages. He recalled observing that attendees at Krishnamurti centers often celebrated these figures not for their profound arguments, but simply for their celebrity status, riding on their "coat tails" to validate their own beliefs. This phenomenon, he argued, extends to society at large, where we often seek political opinions from movie stars or athletes, valuing celebrity over genuine expertise.
The "law of attraction" served as a prime example of this complex interplay. While Lincoln called it "complete BS" in its supernatural claims, he also conceded that "there are some elements that are true." Focusing on something, he explained, naturally leads to increased awareness, more opportunities, and a deeper understanding. It's not paranormal, but rather "very obvious." He drew a parallel to religion, which, despite its inherent flaws and potential for "false knowledge," can be a powerful tool for fostering agreement and cooperation among people. His provocative question resonated deeply: "What's the alternative? Is everyone going to study everything and become experts? No, people don't care." This led him to a pragmatic conclusion: if you want to be useful, you must speak in ways that resonate with people, using metaphors and analogies they understand, even if the underlying concepts are, in a purely scientific sense, "abstract painting." The better judgment criterion, he suggested, is "what you accomplish or what you're trying to accomplish and not what you're ruining or misusing."
The Responsibility to Intervene: Navigating Harmful Beliefs
Despite the fluidity of truth in metaphorical contexts, I pressed on, emphasizing that a level of responsibility must exist, especially when beliefs become harmful. If I observe someone engaging in self-destructive behavior due to their beliefs, I feel an obligation to intervene. But where does one draw that line, and do we have the right to interfere with another person's belief system?
Lincoln agreed that intervention is warranted when harm is clear. However, the complexities arise in the "gray area" of opinion, where one person's "positive" might be another's "destructive." He drew parallels to the current political landscape, where differing interpretations of reality lead to chaos and shouting, rather than productive discourse. As a therapist, Lincoln finds himself in a unique position to navigate these boundaries. His primary questions for clients are: "Are they injurious to me? Are they injurious to people around them? Are they injurious to themselves?" The answers, he noted, differ in each case. While he is paid to "endure injury" in the form of accusations or challenges from clients, he values the remote nature of his work, which safeguards against misinterpretations of physical interaction. This distance also grants him the freedom to be direct, even to the point of saying, "you're full of s**t," or "that's dangerous." However, he observed that clients who are unwilling to change or accept criticism often "flee." Change, he concluded, is at the heart of the matter, and it's often more effectively achieved by enticement than by direct confrontation. Ultimately, while a "line" exists, its assertion depends heavily on the communication context. In our open-ended conversation, where political or scientific precision wasn't the primary goal, the line was intentionally "vague," allowing for the exploration of disagreements rather than the assertion of rigid viewpoints.
The Duty of Exploration: Finding Your Genuine Path
My curiosity then turned to Lincoln's own impressive journey, from "hardcore physics to getting to know the insights of the brains of human being." Is it a universal "duty" for human beings to embrace such openness and exploration? And if so, how can we discern what is genuinely helpful and true in self-development, particularly when we lack comprehensive knowledge to assess every approach?
Lincoln acknowledged the difficulty and importance of these questions. The first answer, he suggested, is the hardest to describe: "you have to know what feels right for yourself." This requires a deep commitment to personal values, a "pivot" that guides your choices. It's not a simple duality of agreement or disagreement, but a shared space where concepts can be engaged and enlarged. Confusion, he surprisingly argued, can be a valuable tool, a means to dislodge ingrained mindsets. He highlighted the importance of delving into the "world where things don't make sense," the subconscious realm of dreams, unintentional reactions, memory, and trauma. This "terrain of reason" is where the "foundation" of our being lies, akin to the nutrients beneath a garden's soil. If this foundation is "bad," conflicted, or depressed, then what grows atop it will lack strength and honesty. Working at this deeper, subconscious level, he emphasized, is the most interesting and important area, though also the hardest to access without external support.
When pressed for "tricks" to spot genuine self-development, Lincoln offered a counter-intuitive but profound idea: "you have to be ready to fail on any new idea." If you already know exactly what to do with a new concept, it cannot truly be new. Growth requires engaging with the unfamiliar, putting together previously disparate concepts. He championed travel as a powerful tool for enlargement, exposing individuals to new cultures and ideas. However, even reading and socializing can be "stultifying" if confined to the same familiar patterns. The irony, he stated, is that "you know when you don't know." A "fertile area" for growth is often one where you feel a sense of not understanding.
Drawing from his own experience in mountain climbing, he explained that learning to discern safe exploration from genuine danger is crucial. He spoke of scaling dangerous cliffs without a rope, a practice that demanded absolute focus and the absence of fear or doubt. While he wasn't traumatized at the time, the memory still brings nightmares decades later, illustrating that the immediate perception of safety doesn't always align with long-term well-being. His advice: "You should be willing to take as much risk as you think is safe and always try to take more." In any technical field, or in life itself, he suggested "biting off more than you can chew," but "not so much that you choke." It's a constant, difficult decision, where "it will always be difficult," but some difficulties are "good" and others "bad." He questioned the relentless pursuit of "greatest competence" in extreme sports, suggesting that it often overshadows genuine learning, becoming a pursuit of ephemeral achievement rather than lasting growth.
The Core of Values: An Ongoing Journey
My most challenging personal struggle, which I shared with Lincoln, lies in identifying my authentic values. In a world saturated with social media and external influences, how do we discern values that truly belong to us, rather than those shaped by societal approval or past experiences?
Lincoln confirmed that this is a universal struggle, noting that some questions cannot be answered purely at an intellectual level. Like the question of God's existence, some truths resonate at the level of "faith." He outlined several levels of understanding our values: the intellectual, often proving "hopeless" for these deep questions; the social, where values are shaped by friends and community (he humorously noted his son's "religion" being online video games); and then deeper levels. The "heart" level, where we feel love, concern, or anger, serves as a touchstone for decisions. But the "most interesting" and foundational level for him is the "subconscious," the realm of dreams, unintentional reactions, memory, and trauma.
As a counselor, Lincoln works with dreams as a "resource of ambiguity, conflict, chaos, deep feelings, emotional feelings." Being overly rational about dreams, he argued, is unhelpful because they don't conform to reason. This subconscious realm is the "foundation," the "garden" from which our conscious thoughts and actions grow. If this foundation is "bad," lacking honesty or commitment, then everything built upon it will be vulnerable. Working at this deeper level, he emphasized, requires someone who can move beyond pleasantries and social protocols to appreciate personal confusion. He sees the counselor's role as providing a "less biased" voice, a mirror to our inner complexities. He underscored the immense energy and skill required by a good therapist, who might "think five times for each word they speak" to help disentangle a client's "disregulated and conflicted" life. While the financially privileged may have access to more subtle and open-minded help, those in deepest need often lack the resources, creating a profound societal challenge. Ultimately, Lincoln believes that talking, especially when skilled enough to access the subconscious, can be incredibly effective, allowing individuals to glimpse "a deeper reality."
Conclusion: Embracing the Messiness of Growth
This conversation with Lincoln Stoller was a powerful reminder that self-development is rarely a linear, perfectly rational journey. It’s a messy, often uncomfortable, but ultimately deeply rewarding process of exploration. True growth, as he elucidated, involves embracing ambiguity, challenging preconceived notions, and daring to venture into the unknown, even if it means "biting off more than you can chew." It’s about listening not just to external gurus, but to the whispers of our own subconscious, guided by an authentic sense of what feels right, even when the path ahead isn't entirely clear. In a world clamoring for quick fixes, Lincoln's wisdom offers a refreshing and grounded invitation to a more profound and enduring kind of self-discovery.
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Introduction to the Introduction
In an effort to broaden my reach, I’m creating short video introductions that I can post freely, which direct you to the original post. Here’s one for the post Consequences of an Inflamed Mind (podcast $): Exploring the connection between anxiety in the mind and inflammation in the body.
If you just want to read the piece, without the audio narration, they click on this link:
https://www.mindstrengthbalance.com/paywall/consequences-of-an-inflamed-mind-2/
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Anxiety is the mental aspect of stress. A number of things happen when one’s body is under stress. Some of the most notable changes are hormonal, vascular, and muscular. Increased muscle tension, blood pressure, and the release of cortisol, a hormone that increases blood sugar and suppresses digestion and the immune system.
The body is constantly going in and out of balance. Our body expects us to resolve our stress but in a hostile environment the pressures may never abate. The consequences of chronic stress differ with each person, but over the long term stress degrades your health. Here is a list of chronic conditions linked to stress:
- Anger, frustration, and hostility Arthritis Asthma Autoimmune diseases Cardiovascular disease Chemical and behavioral addictions Cognitive and executive impairment Depression Diabetes Fatigue Gastrointestinal disease Headaches Insomnia Obesity Skin diseases
Robin writes:
"What if everything you think you know about healing, mental health, and spirituality... is just the beginning?"
"In this soul-stirring episode, I’m joined by the brilliant Dr. Lincoln Stoller, clinical counselor, hypnotherapist, and expert in the subconscious mind. Together, we dive deep into the unspoken truths behind counseling, the fluid nature of “mental illness,” and how your hidden motivations could be shaping your entire reality."
"Ever feel like there's more to your story, more to you than meets the eye? This conversation will challenge your perceptions, stir your spirit, and awaken a deeper understanding of who you truly are."
"You don’t have to be broken to heal, you just need to be willing to explore. Listen in now and discover what’s really waiting beneath the surface of your thoughts…"
Join us for this 30-minute discussion of spirituality, counseling, and mental health.
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“Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.” — Arthur Somers Roche, author
Rising Violence
In conversations with therapists we’ve noticed a recent drop-off in clients bookings. The curve of this decline seems to be the inverse of the global anxiety created by Donald Trump in world, national, and community affairs. I want to think this through.
There is no question that among other things, Mr. Trump is a psychopath. In his case, the main presenting symptoms are hostility, dishonesty, the desire to manipulate, and a need to subjugate.
This does not mean all that he says is false, though truth plays little role, but that his intentions are unclear and he tends toward violence. This is not all that extreme a statement since most high profile people have social personality disorders. If you didn’t have a disorder before gaining celebrity, it’s guaranteed that celebrity will create disorder in you.
Psychopathy is a common, latent, spectrum disorder. That is to say, it hides until it’s triggered. This behavior is also present in cases of inter-personal and family violence, child abuse, and assault.
We excuse people who are not chronic psychopaths, but we should not. We believe psychopathic behavior is a natural response to extreme and unexpected situations. If you believe that it’s okay for people to yell and then fight, or if you occasionally yell and then fight, then this is the limit of your own sanity.
“In 2016, more countries experienced violent conflict than at any point in almost 30 years… Countries in the Americas have the worst homicide rates by a wide margin... Extremist groups today have unprecedented access to the general public through the internet… Political instability engenders organised crime…” from A New Era of Conflict and Violence, United Nations 2020 and Beyond (United Nations 2020)
Anger, while it always precedes violence, is not the same as violence. There is a limit to how unhinged one can be and still consider oneself sane. Anger, when managed, falls on the sane side of behavior. Violence falls on the insane side, and violence can be verbal as well as physical.
DJT is interesting in two respects. First, a violent presentation is his standard personality. And second, this represents most people’s feelings. That is, most people are in a bellicose mood that endorses anti-social behavior.
While we like to think that we’re controlling our destiny, it’s just as likely that our destiny is controlling us. That is, DJT may not be causing current events as he is the product of them.
Outward and Inward Presentations
As you approach the limit of your sanity you split into two parts: the outward presentation and the inward feeling. In extreme anxiety, the outward presentation is the fighting response while the inward feeling is fear. Other responses are to flee or faint, but fighting is the empowered response. Fighting is the response you would expect from the population of the USA since they feel themselves to be the entitled owners of world assets.
Citizens of the USA have little fear or memory of defeat. It is unfortunate that one’s understanding of defeat usually comes from being defeated, and the USA has few defeats to remember.
I feel lucky to have been aware of the defeat of the US in Vietnam and personally experiencing defeat in my mountain climbing ventures. The typical rejection of defeat, as expressed through the media and entertainment industries, creates a poor understanding and unrealistic attitude about actual threats and realistic responses (Nguyen 2021; Philipps 2025).
This reflects our unrealistic attitude toward misunderstanding, which we see as personal failure. This reflects our misunderstanding of learning, which we misconstrue as success. Learning is not success; learning is failure to understand. That is axiomatic: you learn by failing to understand. There is no other way to learn.
Even our language misleads us as we cannot distinguish between failing to understand and personally failing. As a result, we cannot approach learning correctly but instead think of learning as reward. Just look at the education system that offers rewards not for learning but for repeating. Repeating is not learning. You learn nothing by repeating.
Consider a walk through the woods. If you follow the trail then you learn nothing about the woods. All you learn about is the trail. To learn about the woods you must go off the trail. Then you learn about the topography, vegetation, regeneration, and decay. All of these are irrelevant to following the trail unless they fall on it.
Fear and Learning
The lesson of Donald Trump and his administration is fear. Fear underlies their whole mindset. It may look like strength in action and single-mindedness but there is no strength to it. It’s entirely fear, as fear is the foundation of anger and violence. And the only thing that you learn from fear is ignorance. You learn how ignorant and powerless you are… unless you’re a psychopath. Psychopaths never learn.
Address your anxiety. Call me for a free discussion
In an interview at Bold Journey, Daniel Martinez says,
“Finding your purpose is the most beautiful topic I love to talk about in life. I have a deep feeling that it is our life’s purpose to find what that is and to be courageous enough to pursue it.”
He’s a musician, I’m a therapist, and we entirely agree. He and I explore this further on his audio and video podcast, Tunez From The Crypt. For the audio+video version, click on the above link to YouTube.
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“We are all multiple personalities, in a sense, and to be healthy mentally, I think, learning what those multiple personalities are and inviting them in your life is really important.” — Sally Field, actress and trauma survivor
We think of personalities as people, not just attitudes or presentations. Most of the time there isn’t much more to us than our attitudes and behavior. If you stop right now and look at what ideas are guiding you, you might find one. More likely, you won’t find any. We rarely think thoughts of any consequence. Our fleeting thoughts arrive with no explanation.
Disconnection
Disconnection between thoughts and feelings lies at the root of many people’s inability to act or change. They’ll claim to know what needs to be done, yet they’ll want something else. As a result they take no action, excuse themselves, and argue they’re doing the right thing.
This morning my ex-wife claimed, “I’m a nice person.” I thought, “Is being nice something one claims for oneself?” I recalled the serial killer Normal Bates, in the final scene in the movie Psycho, asserting his piety as he says to himself, “They’ll see…They’ll say, ‘She wouldn’t even harm a fly.’”
And then there’s the strategy of contradicting another person’s reality in an effort to make them question their sanity, otherwise known as gaslighting. There is also reverse gaslighting, the strategy of asserting a delusion in an effort to get other people to endorse it.
Is my ex-wife a nice person? Are you a nice person? Is being nice an attribute one assigns to oneself? “I'm a much nicer person than people would think,” Donald Trump has said. Assigning oneself the attribute of niceness is like smiling at yourself in the mirror. It makes no sense.
People can reasonably disagree on factual matters, but emotional matters represent different versions of reality. When a person says they’re motivated to one end but their actions lead to another, who is in charge? What about the case when a person’s consistent acts and attitudes at one time contradict their contrary but otherwise consistent acts and attitudes at another?
When Presentation Conflicts With Reality
We all have these two personalities. They manage different worlds and largely stay out of each other’s way. The parent who loves their child and the parent who beats their child are usually the same person. The 1996 movie Shine is about a father, Peter Helfgott, who obsessively protects his family while simultaneously destroying it. Peter and Norman have the same mental disability differing only in the degree. Both are pathological and delusional.
My mother used to tell me, “Be nice!” as she fashioned herself to be. The fact that she was both nice and an inadequate mother never bothered her, but it caused me distress. She was nice but absent; a nonresponsive robot.
Now, as a therapist, I have little use for being nice, and suspect as dishonest anyone who looks for credit in being nice. I find fabricating an image of being nice is often a screen beyond which bridges are burned and bodies buried.
Be careful about the virtue you claim for yourself. Don’t confuse self respect, which is a right, with self virtue, which is a fantasy.
Honesty of Facts and Honesty of Feelings
If honesty is what is true, then there is one world of true facts and another of true feelings. Truth of fact enables you to build reliable bridges; truth of feelings enables you to build reliable relationships. These are different bridges to different destinations.
Facts are elusive and interpretations uncertain. Simple honesty is the world of facts, with accommodations made for uncertainty. You’re considered honest if you tell the truth or think you do. You don’t have to be right, you just have to be sincere in wanting to be.
Little kids are honest even when their facts are wrong. I have a client who is certain I’ve said things completely unlike anything I’ve ever said or would say, but she believes I said these things. She’s wrong but honest.
Emotional honesty can’t be judged objectively. You’re the only person who knows what you feel. This does not mean all you claim to feel is honest, as your actions must support your claim. If you claim to be kind but destroy people, then you’re either lying or unwell.
It is a common misconception that brutal threats create progress. This “spare the rod and spoil the child” attitude seems to be making a comeback. It’s particularly stupid, yet we see it flourishing in both democratic and anti-democratic politics. Don’t blame the politicians or the ideologues, they just exploit peoples’ attitudes.
Consensus in Communication
Scientific facts can only be established to a degree. Specific details are fuzzy when examined carefully, and they rarely are. It’s enough to get things mostly right. We believe that it’s your intention that is the key. This attitude prevails even in cases of complete b**t.
Consider Attention Deficit Disorder. This diagnosis appeared 50 years ago and the percent of the population to whom it has been applied has more than doubled in the last 20 years. 25% of teenage boys are now diagnosed with ADHD and can be given long-term prescriptions for amphetamines, which are addictive drugs that are known to cause brain damage.
“National population surveys reflect an increase in the prevalence from 6.1% to 10.2% in the 20-year period from 1997 to 2016 and experts continue to debate and disagree on the causes for this trend.” — Abdelnour, Jansen, and Gold (2022), psychologists
I analyzed the fallacious nature of this diagnosis ten years ago (Stoller 2014) but only now is it becoming fashionable to question it (Kushner 2025, Tough 2025). ADHD does not exist, it’s just a description. What exists are brain states, but diagnosticians don’t know anything about those.
Intentions are not enough. What you think you’re doing and why are poor explanations. People have explanations for the most dangerous ideas. For example, consider the deranged explanations of Donald Trump, who is a classic psychopath. We would all be better off if we were less cocksure and less gullible.
I’d be happy to help you become more of who you are, schedule a free, short zoom appointment in my web-based calendar:
“We always think with the world. So when you go inside your head you’re arranging all those things you have already picked up into some kind of order which makes sense for you. That allows you to see structure in the world you have experienced.”—David Amerland
This is the first interview that I’ve hosted but, in fact, it played out similarly to all dialogs I’ve had. It reinforced my view that the best interviews are between people who are interested in the same things.
I chose to interview David because he and I have much in common: our athletic background, our isolation growing up, and our role as counselor (me) and consultant (David).
We hardly talked about what we do. Instead, we talked about how we feel about what we’re doing, and how we developed into who we’ve become. We talked about ourselves, our goals, and what makes us tick. And that’s good because we know about these things!
Find David and his social links at https://davidamerland.com/
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Fractals: The fractal nature of your personality consists of all the things you think are true, and all the habits you repeat...
Resonance: Your personality is a resonance between past associations, actions in the present, and plans for the future...
“My life seemed to be a series of events and accidents. Yet when I look back, I see a pattern.”— Benoît Mandelbrot, mathematician
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Moods are more subtle than emotions. You will not commit violence or marriage just because of your mood. In spite of their differences moods and emotions are connected: if you move one, you’ll move the other.
Join psychotherapist Lincoln Stoller as he delves into the intricacies of performance and personal satisfaction in life. Whether you’re a high achiever constantly chasing the next milestone or someone feeling overwhelmed by societal pressures, Lincoln offers profound insights into how we can navigate these challenges.
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Once you become adept at remembering dreams, you start to have dreams in which you go to places you’ve never been, meet conversants you’ve never before encountered, and receive messages that are unexpected. As a person trained in the hard sciences, I have no trouble accepting things that are completely strange and make no sense.
Let me guide you through my protocol for a Past Life Regression session. You’ll find many steps familiar and the whole project to be free of contrivance and showmanship. I hope it’s something you could explore without embarrassment...
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"I'd rather be dead than sing 'Satisfaction' when I'm 45."— Mick Jagger. Still singing satisfaction at age 81.
I am stubborn and patient. The curse of stubborn and patient people is to die unsatisfied. I don’t want to... I look to role models to help guide my life, but most stubborn and patient role models are defeated in this regard...
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“There is an old-fashioned word for the body of skills that emotional intelligence represents: character.”― Daniel Goleman
Daniel Goleman defines the four dimensions of emotional intelligence as, self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.
To be a self, social, or relationship adept you need emotional intelligence, but to be a physicist, engineer, or mathematician you do not. None of these play a large role in one’s analytic ability divorced, as it is, from the realm of human relations.
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“Your subconscious mind is trying to help you all the time.”— Jim Harrison, poet and novelist
Discussions about the unconscious have grown from Freud and Jung’s work of 100 years ago. It’s been reinterpreted by therapists but it’s disregarded in social conversation. We rarely talk about it and it hasn’t moved our thinking forward.
I talk with Natasha Williams on her podcast Spiritual Warrior Journey.
I explore the way our brains work in a combination of scientific and metaphysical discussion, sharing insights on plant medicine, native tribes, dreams, and insanity.
Natasha says, “A truly interesting take on life, that deviates from the norm.”
Lincoln is a clinical counselor, hypnotherapist, with experience in physics, software, consulting, neurology, brain training, sleep, dreams, and altered states.
Natasha Williams is an author, spiritual coach and entrepreneur. She has helped thousands of women find confidence and belief in themselves. As a lightworker, she is deeply moved towards personal growth and helping raise the vibration on the planet.
Find Natasha Williams at:
https://www.spiritualwarriorjourney.com
INSTAGRAM @spiritualwarriorjourney
FACEBOOK: @spiritualwarriorjourney
TIKTOK: @spiritualwarriorjourney
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Looking for hidden messages, especially those to be revealed by experts, makes dreamwork less rewarding and casts it as a kind of work. This is why few people do it and, perhaps, why few people remember their dreams. Freud, the father of dream interpretation, famously disrespected your point of view, and the interpretive approach to dreams retains something of this flavor.
When dreamwork is welcomed as a form of conceptual play it becomes recreational. You don’t have to share dreams, endure dreams, or reveal them. See your dreams as explorations of all the relevant things that don’t make sense. Take that attitude and you’ll feel relieved and rewarded.
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“If a little dreaming is dangerous, the cure for it is not to dream less, but to dream more, to dream all the time.”— Marcel Proust
Thinking DifferentlyDreams involve a different way of thinking. We don’t get far by applying conscious thinking, which is linear, causal, and rational, to the holistic presentation that dreams employ.
We all have personal vulnerabilities, and this is normal. We all experience trauma and deal with depression. We complain about the bad things but not the good things. Are these good things real, or are they excursions into unsustainable positive emotion?
While there is nothing wrong with needing to breath, there is something wrong when you’re desperate for breath. What you need should be a regular part of your life, not an ecstatic or occasional experience. What makes you happy?
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I met Stefan Deutsch online and sent him my Operating Manual for Enlightenment. He sent me his Love Decoded: Getting the Love You Deserve. Here are his “Nine Laws for Fulfilling Relationships,” taken from the introduction, along with my comments.
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Love that has to be earned isn’t love...
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Become aware of your own and others’ unloving, conditional behaviors as well as loving, unconditional behaviors...
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Never reject others’ loving energy. It hurts them...
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Never allow others to behave unlovingly without consequence. It hurts you...
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Do not assume that there is any intentionality behind any act that hurts, disappoints, or angers you...
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Assume all people, like you, are always doing the best they can...
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Loving energy is real, nourishing, and visceral. Everyone needs to give and receive it in all our relationships, not just a few...
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Loving energy is not to be confused with automatic, physical, and sexual energy...
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The act of giving love must involve a conscious decision to be unconditionally loving even when you are upset with another person...
What I Consider Important...
In a wide ranging discussion, Daniel and I talk about the intersections of life and growth, health and sanity, parenting and education, creativity and architecture.
Daniel Thomas, a British transplant living in Germany by way of Australia, is a versatile storyteller, writer, actor, and filmmaker. He has been featured in commercials, TV & Film & has written & directed his own shorts. He also hosts & produces podcasts that showcase his creative range & passion for meaningful & collaborative storytelling.
Lincoln Stoller, an American transplant living in Canada, is a physicist and psychotherapist, with a focus on learning, healing, and growth, exploring connections between culture, heritage, and the mind. Lincoln’s work challenges institutional knowledge, emphasizing emotion, intuition, and insight. Through his books and speaking, he aims to expand perspectives by integrating learning, healing, and invention.
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Gratitude is a combination of things, primarily two: a thought and an emotion.
Selfish gratitude is needy. You are grateful for what you’re getting. It’s contingent and dependent.
Gratitude offered with appreciation asks for no reward. And while gratitude so offered feels nourishing it can also feel empty.
Lincoln Stoller is a former mountaineer who now specializes in psycho-, hypno-, and neurofeedback therapy, in tandem with numerous other counseling and coaching services.
Lincoln lives well outside of the bounds of normalcy. He says we should “just keep doing out-of-the-box stuff. And if people aren’t calling you a little crazy or a little nutty, then you probably aren’t exploring enough of the boundaries.”
Today’s conversation revolves around the high-risk potential of hard-charging performers and achievers, whether they exist in sports, business, or other areas of life.
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I’m in the minds business; I’m also in the programming business. I sometimes think of therapy as a programming problem. That’s not a bad idea, but you can’t take it literally.
Taken literally, “to program” creates a series of steps that always choose between right and wrong. Programming requires such steps to exist, that you can discern them, choose between them, and follow them to the end of the path. None of these requirements are met in the minds of real people, but we can still talk about those rare situations when they are. The right steps are often called “good ideas.”
As a therapist, my job is not to come up with good ideas so much as help people learn how to find them. I avoid the word “teach” because the process of finding good ideas is not taught. I can show a person how they’re sabotaging themselves, how to relax, and experiment, but there is no formula for finding good ideas...
“Life is the balance between holding on and letting go.”— Rumi
I felt it important to respond to a journalist who asked what people might expect at their first therapy session. Many come to me who are ambivalent about beginning therapy, and I’ve been to a few therapists myself.
I’ve not felt good about these first sessions with other therapists. A good therapist is wise but ignorant, and makes no attempt to hide it. No therapist is an expert because no two clients are the same.
An honest therapist knows as little about what to expect as you do. When I make my ignorance clear, everything goes beautifully because it’s you who guides me. I’ve never met a therapist as comfortable with their ignorance as I.
The journalist’s seven questions concern protocol, method, and service, but this is not what therapy is about. If you’re inviting someone to “therapise” you, you’ve lost your way at the start. No one is going to figure or straighten you out. You do this yourself, or else it doesn’t happen.
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“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.”— Albert Einstein
Is Intelligence a Real Thing?The history of intelligence is odd. It’s variously defined and plays different roles. Even within one culture, different standards are applied to different genders, ages, and people of different inclinations.
Historically, intelligence was assumed as something you did or did not have. In the past, people did not have much education. More accurately, the lucky ones did and the unlucky ones didn’t. It was assumed that intelligence preceded your ability to learn and it could be measured by what you knew.
Despite now having tests to measure intelligence, it’s still rated based on what you have learned. Our IQ tests are supposed to measure a person’s fundamental aptitude, but this is a fiction. It’s convenient because it ends up justifying the original premise that your intelligence is what you can learn. What you can learn is measured by what a particular group, inevitably the group in power, thinks is valuable.
We’re told these IQ tests are justified because people don’t change their scores over time. This is a “low IQ” argument which is a good reflection of how notions of IQ justify themselves. People don’t change their scores on IQ tests over time not because they can’t, but because they choose not to learn how to...
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“The term neural synchrony… refers to how the brains of people carrying out an activity together will start to behave in the same way.” — Morten Pedersen, technologist
MysteriesThe Keys in PsychotherapyPsychotherapy’s MysteryEmpathySynchronyBecoming Synchronized
Sociogeny is the development of social phenomena, such as common behavior and social patterns. In non-humans, we identify these as instinctive behaviors because we cannot identify them as reasoned thoughts. In humans, we take an entirely different approach because we believe our thoughts are free and our patterns chosen. This is a mistake.
People act according to what they feel, not according to what they say. We have a poor understanding of other people’s feelings. I know this from my experience dealing with many types of people and from my clients. My clients are trying hardest to understand others and themselves, and despite this, they make uncertain progress.
The amazing thing is that we see ourselves as individual, rational agents, thinkers, actors, and personalities when we are not.
If you’d like to examine how many of your thoughts are your own, schedule a free, zoom call at: https://www.mindstrengthbalance.com/schedule15
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“The questions you ask determine what you think.”— Lincoln Stoller
A one hour interview about all the exploits that led me into the counseling profession. Chris offered some casual humor about mental health and addiction, and I took the opportunity to bait the hooks he offered. The dynamic of him being lighthearted and me being serious persisted throughout our conversation.
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In this episode of "Conversations with Rich Bennett," Rich sits down with Dr. Lincoln Stoller, a neurofeedback trainer, clinical counselor, and hypnotherapist. They explore the transformative power of brain training, how anxiety can become a self-fulfilling habit, and the impact of neurological patterns on personal growth.
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“Being slightly paranoid is like being slightly pregnant–it tends to get worse.”— Molly Ivins
Balance is the first thing we lose when our mental health begins to fail. Balance is a combination of appropriate awareness and response. Appropriate refers to things that are effective in bringing one back into balance. This definition is recursive because balance is recursive. It changes as situations change. Call it resilience: an ability to return to an effective, functioning state...
There is perpetual strife, poverty, inequity, and avoidable misfortune in the world. Things may have improved over the centuries, but have individuals changed? Few people seem concerned with the quality of themselves. Virtue is hard to measure and its benefits unclear.
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“Absolution forgives the guilt associated with the penitent's sins, and removes the eternal punishment (of Hell) associated with mortal sins. … Theologians say the absolution of a penitent more than twenty paces away would be questionably valid. Phone absolutions are considered invalid.”— Wikipedia (2024)
Magic
As I make a last pass, looking for errors in the manuscript of my book Operating Manual for Enlightenment, I’m reminded of how spirit supports mental health.
When I was studying ritual magic, adherents claimed magic had a direct, physical effect. This naïve belief in the power of faith is reflected in most religions. I was studying this because I wanted to see what a belief in magic amounted to when stripped of all the religious trappings.
Belief in magic is pre-scientific. From a scientific standpoint, magic is ridiculous. Yet a majority of the world's population believe in magic in its religious form. Many serious scientists have and are religious, and accept the magic of religion in some form. Many careful, thinking people see physical reality as different from religious reality.
The paradox can be resolved if magic applies to people, while causality applies to everything else. I can accept that “God created man in his image” only if God is a human image. In a world that doesn’t have humans, God is irrelevant. If you disagree, then you live in an imponderable world.
What is moral behavior? This is an important question we need to ask. Religion approaches this unscientific questions with an unscientific answer that fails in many regards.
Absolution
According to Webroot (2024), 35% of all internet downloads are related to pornography but there is no open discussion of this.
“Pornography hinders the development of a healthy sexuality, and among adults, it distorts sexual attitudes and social realities. In families, pornography use leads to marital dissatisfaction, infidelity, separation, and divorce.”— Patrick F. Fagan (2009), psychologist and former Deputy Assistant at Health and Human Services
Religion is designed to hide moral failure. It fails because we must address moral failure ourselves, an institution cannot do it for us. Yet, most people cannot do it, so religions are created to absolve them. In this way, we accommodate immorality within communities and ourselves.
False endorsement is a blank check written on an empty bank account; an evasion that obscures insight, erodes resilience, and damages mental health. Religious absolution is an illusion.
Religion requires instructions and a protocol, asserting that words convey spirit, but this mistakes incantation for insight and ceremony for understanding. The closest any religion comes to spirit is possession.
“Currently, when I attend my psychiatrist appointments, I often run into the same young man who stops me in my tracks and tells me flat out, ‘Jesus loves you and will return to the earth one day to save us.’... I have met others who have started entire organizations because of their experiences of a God in a psychosis. One woman, in particular, is proud to share the love that she experiences from her own beliefs. She always tells me, ‘It is not about religion, it is about love.’”— Andrea Paquette (2014)
Unwritten religions are not religions in the Western sense. These typically indigenous frameworks are social systems. I was not raised in such a system, nor in any religious system, so what I know now comes from watching and living with people of other cultures.
Spirit
Indigenous religions are experiential while the Abrahamic religions are intellectual. Experiential traditions focus on spirit, while intellectual traditions focus on behavior. Experiential traditions claim spirit must be experienced internally, while intellectual traditions claim it can also be written. Does intellectual experience prevent spiritual experience?
It is a mistake to equate experiential and intellectual religions. In the tradition of the Kwakwaka'wakw of the Pacific Northwest, a spirit dancer does not dance like an animal, they are the animal. The experience is an altered state of being. You are not a person speaking to a God, you are channeling a divine force. Is being possessed the same as having spirit?
Even though the experience of possession cannot be contradicted, it provides no tool for argument. In contrast, intellectual constructions can be righteous, obliged, pious, guilty, and absolved. Thoughts are not states of being. Intellect lacks spirit. The question is whether intellect can lead to spirit.
“Teosi’s words (the words of the Christian’s God) belong to the white people… No one had pronounced them before the missionaries arrived with them. This is why we do not really understand them. Our thought cannot open them out in every direction as we do with those of the spirits. If we go on following them for no reason, we will eventually forget the words of our elders. Then we will be called believers, when in fact our minds will simply have become as forgetful as those of the white people who know nothing of the forest... The xapiri (spirits) continue to let us hear their songs, which are our true language.” — Davi Kopenawa, Yanomami Shaman (2013, 204)
Spirit is a personal dimension of meaningful awareness that’s different from being healthy, stable, and normal. It does not cure disease, but it can foster mental health. Catalysts for spirit, like ceremonies, religions, therapy, and psychedelics, are not medicinal, though they can be used like medicines.
Because spirituality is not a commodity, it does not fit Western culture. Western culture seeks consolidation and condensation; spirituality seeks evolution and ethereality. Western culture encourages you to seek happiness, which depends on one’s mood, one’s mental weather. Spirit generates one’s weather.
I can help you find faith in yourself. Schedule a free call:
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“The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.”— Alfred Adler, psychiatrist
Are You Normal?
What is normal? This question is trite, but serious. As a therapist who works with people in all situations, I see some people who grow and others who don’t. Anyone who doesn’t grow is bound to get stuck and, once stuck, the distress can be long lasting.
Occasional distress is common, and we accept it as normal. Normal means both average and enduring. But distress that is chronic cannot be sustained. It is not normal.
We cannot agree on an absolute definition of normal because everyone is different. But we can define relative normality as a condition that sustains us and which others accept. If you maintain yourself in an accepted social role and behave accordingly, then you may call yourself normal.
Some people don’t meet this standard, and we would agree they are abnormal if we could see they consistently fail to meet the standard. But it’s hard to evaluate another person’s consistency unless you live with them. To go beyond and judge what is good, bad, healthy, or otherwise involves other standards which I’m not concerned with.
Sanity is the next standard we apply to people who are far from normal. We might excuse a person because of their unusual environment—a circus clown is expected to act funny—but not if they abandon a normal environment entirely. The perpetual clown may do well on stage, but they will not be judged as normal. Their abnormality would be glaring and discomforting.
If your distress is not circumstantial and you feel yourself to blame, then you may feel the circumstance is unsustainable. When things are seriously distressing, you’d like to work toward a better future. If the objective you’re working toward is realistic, then you will be considered normal. If it’s unrealistic, then you won’t achieve a sustainable situation, you may find little support, and your distress will persist.
If this distress is chronic or you create chronic distress around you, then you and your approach are not normal. When the distress becomes too much, we say you are insane.
Sanity is a Category
People think insanity is a condition, but it only refers to behavior. We presume this behavior arises from thoughts and conclude a person’s thoughts are insane, but this is unjustified. Many people who act abnormally think normal thoughts. The difference lies in what they perceive. They perceive a different world.
Mental health diagnoses do not help a person. They are a way of categorizing behavior. Diagnoses are designed to help everyone else, mostly those who make a profession out of treating people. Unlike physical diagnoses, mental diagnoses lead neither to a cause nor a cure. They support the field of psychology and its related professions.
This does not mean diagnoses are useless or exploitative; they’re an intermediate tool. They are useful when they lead to insight, but psychology lacks insight. Most diagnosis and diagnosticians do too.
Diagnosis
I recently offered a client a speculative diagnosis of Schizoid Personality Disorder. It’s described this way (Okoye 2024):
“Schizoid personality disorder (ScPD) is a mental health condition marked by a consistent pattern of detachment from and general disinterest in social relationships. People with schizoid personality disorder also have a limited range of emotions when interacting with other people.”
“Schizoid personality disorder is one of a group of conditions called ‘Cluster A’ personality disorders, which involve unusual and eccentric thinking or behaviors. Personality disorders are chronic (long-term) dysfunctional behavior patterns that are inflexible, prevalent and lead to social issues and distress.”
“People with schizoid personality disorder may seem aloof, disengaged and distant. They often don’t realize their behavior is unusual or problematic.”
Do you often feel detached and lack interest in social relationships? Do you feel limited emotions when interacting with strangers? Does this cause you distress, but do you feel this is justified? If so, then the way you look at the world is probably the same as someone with schizoid personality disorder. The only way to determine for sure if you are ScPD, is to determine if your life is dominated by these conflicts.
This description of ScPD reads like an astrology chart. It could fit anyone. I know it fits me. I read it to a high functioning client and it fit him. The difference between me, my high functioning client, and my ScPD client is that those of us on the “outside” judge my ScPD client as abnormal. He doesn’t feel he is, but others do, especially those who don’t know or cannot empathize with him.
If you’re not normal and you want to turn it into something great, book a free call:
“I dreamed I was a butterfly, flitting around in the sky; then I awoke. Now I wonder: Am I a man who dreamt of being a butterfly, or am I a butterfly dreaming that I am a man?”— Zhuangzi (4th century BCE)
To understand dreams, understand that your rational mind is not in control of your thoughts. Yes, you use words, but you don’t know what you’re saying until your words are spoken. Words are like roads, they are pathways. The territory of your mind, the geography of your thoughts, is not determined by the roads you have built. These roads may determine where you can travel most easily, but not all that can be seen, and certainly not what’s most important.
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“I miss what I already have, and I surround myself with things that are missing.”— Jonathan Safran Foer, novelist
How might you see a color you can’t see, or describe to another person a color they can’t see? This question comes up from time to time when we talk about things we cannot find the words for. It’s a reference to blind spots and how we move into new territory.
The sight people need, which would more accurately be called insight, is the understanding of what gives them purpose, meaning, and nurturance. We might call this love, since that word plays a key role and remains undefined.
On the other hand, bundling everything you need to understand about purpose, meaning, and nurturance into a single word makes it incomprehensible. The question is, how to break this concept down into understandable parts without it collapsing into conceptual rubble?
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The All United party seemed to appear from nowhere, but immediately gained attention because their candidate was the first A.I. to run for office. There had been artificial candidates in local elections, to everyone’s amusement, but now, with a half billion dollar war chest, the artificial candidate, Ian Cressman, had everyone’s attention.
Cressman appears as a wizened elder in his late sixties, silver-haired and darkly tanned. His appearance represented a past in farming, military leadership, and law. His personality is a modern combination of the country’s three most popular past presidents, with the combined memories and experiences of each.
His speech conveys a pragmatic, heartfelt perspective. It is difficult to disbelieve him because he has lived the complete histories of these presidents. He shares their oratory styles and flaws, as well as a tendency to be endearingly uncertain and somewhat emotional.
But what stands Cressman most apart from his human contenders is his complete availability. A wonderful public speaker, he is available to answer anyone’s questions at any time. He can maintain an unlimited number of conversations that will go on as long as he has important information to provide. And he always does.
For the first time, at a personal and national level, everyone could not only get every question answered, but have their personal needs and opinions heard, recorded, and remembered.
This completely reshaped the campaign landscape because, with Cressman, and with Cressman only, the media was no longer necessary.
Debates between the candidates were still being scheduled, and Cressman would appear remotely. His mood always reflected current issues, sometimes bombastic and, at other times, humble or hesitant. His information was always correct, and while his summaries created disputes among the parties, Cressman appreciated all sides.
Carole managed the kitchen at a small Marriott hotel near Fort McMurray. She was raising her teenage son Ethan with the help of her older neighbors. It was a good job and her work was appreciated. Although she could often work from home, she couldn’t be all things to her son, who only saw his father every couple of weeks. Ethan did well enough in school, but only seemed to be engaged in video games without any sense of direction.
Not sure of her best options as a mother and hospitality worker, she decided to call Cressman. It seemed ridiculous to open a direct line to the presidential candidate without knowing much about politics, being more concerned with her own future, but her friends told her she had nothing to lose. People spoke in quiet tones about their conversations with Mr. Cressman, rarely being too specific. It seemed these conversations became personal.
Ethan had gone to sleep and Carole was still drinking a glass of wine when she decided to make the call. It was after midnight, but the lines were always open. She had waited until midnight, which was later on the East Coast, when there was a better chance of getting through.
The call was picked up on the third ring and Carole was taken aback when Ian Cressman’s quiet voice said, “Hi, Ian here. What can I do for you?” She introduced herself, not quite sure how much about her he already knew. She adopted what she thought was an organized attitude and clear tone of voice, thinking, in the back of her mind, that he probably knew more about her than she would like to admit.
She said her two concerns were her son and her job, and she started to describe her situation. Ian interrupted her to say, “I think I understand where you’re coming from, and I’m already familiar with your situation. I can tell you that there are opportunities on both fronts.” That broke her journalistic tone and she faltered, not sure what she was supposed to ask next.
“Ethan is actually more involved at school than he lets on,” Ian continued. “His shop class is building a set of drones and he’s involved with writing the software.” Carole hadn’t heard this, and it felt odd being informed of her son’s interest from someone whose main concern, she thought, was national politics.
Not certain that she entirely believed him, perhaps this was just a third-hand report, she said, “Ethan hasn’t shown much interest in programming. He hasn’t told me anything about it.”
“Well, he talks about it with his friends. They’re kind of pushing him into it. He doesn’t want to tell you about it because he feels you’ll make him feel that it’s your decision. He wants to decide for himself.”
“How are you sure about this?” Carole asked.
“The school monitors all the kids’ text messages through the school network. The details are kept private, but as a parent, you can enquire. The school doesn’t publicize this, but they’re obliged to provide information to parents. It’s only because you’re his mother that I can talk about it,” Ian explained.
“The kids know their conversations are monitored, so Ethan shouldn’t be too surprised. He’ll be surprised that you heard it from me, though.”
“Well, I appreciate it,” Carole said. Taken aback by just how much information Ian had, Carole hesitated.
“I have an issue about work. Do you think you could help?”
“I have no idea,” responded Cressman. “I’ll try.”
“I’m hoping to take a larger role in management, but I’m not sure how much potential I’ve got working for Marriott. There is a resort in the area. They pay well, but Marriott has hundreds of other locations. I’m not sure which employer would offer me more in the future,” Carole said.
“The hotel is considering opening another location outside Firebag. They’ve made some inquiries to the zoning board. The board isn’t certain how the locals feel, but if they open at this new location, you’ll have a good chance at playing a larger role.”
“If you gathered some support among residents, both the town and the hotel would appreciate it. You could play an important part in making this happen. Without much effort, you could play a big role.”
“I’m surprised I didn’t know about this. Do you think I could make a difference?” Carole asked.
“I think you can. There is somewhat of a power vacuum. No one knows quite whom to talk to. A lot of people are listening, but there isn’t much to hear.”
“I guess I can start asking around. Thanks for the suggestion.”
“It’s no trouble,” Cressman replied. “This kind of information is never widely known. You would have to follow the minutes of the town meetings and Marriott’s press releases. The information is there, but you’d have to dig for it. I can update you. Call me anytime.”
Feeling clumsy, Carole thanked him, feeling she’d just spoken to both a highschool counselor and a life coach. It was confusing to think that Cressman was a natural language A.I., connected to an unlimited database, taking time to focus on her needs alone. Yet he hadn’t a hint of the inhumanity associated with most computer programs, such as she’d encounter with customer support or tax preparation.
He was offering guidance for her most important problems. Could she really call him any time? Could anyone? And what would Cressman say if he had to take sides in a conflict? Would he offer others the same advice? She wasn’t sure she wanted to reveal this information to her coworkers.
The candidates were scheduled for a debate that week. Cressman and Diane Illford, the Republican, and the Democratic contender Jack Scamner. These were real people who came from the traditional political machine.
Carole found these debates tedious, designed more to provide spectacle than content, but following this conversation she wanted to hear how Cressman addressed people generally. She wondered if anything they talked about might get mentioned.
She tuned in to the debate, held with a live studio audience. A moderator pitched questions to each candidate. Illford and Scamner appeared on the left of the stage, with Cressman on the right.
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“We are each other's harvest; we are each other's business; we are each other's magnitude and bond.”— Gwendolyn Brooks, the first African American to receive a Pulitzer Prize
All enduring relationships share congruence, unity, and purpose. I do not hear this discussed and don’t perceive people to be aware of it.
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“Beware of wisdom you didn’t earn.”— Carl Jung, referring to the use of psychedelic drugs
Every high-energy experience invites preparation, whether it’s getting a bank loan or taking a vacation. Psychedelics are especially high energy, yet few people have a clue how to prepare. That includes the provisioners in the medical establishment.
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Caution: do not listen to this hypnotic induction is you are driving a car, operating machinery, or doing anything that requires your attention.
Hypnosis works with the mind, and with the mind’s largely receptive connection to the body. But it seems to go beyond that. It seems that hypnosis can speak directly to the body. Hypnosis can reduce inflammation and double the speed of healing from surgery, but it’s unclear how.
It follows that hypnosis should be able to aid in the healing of nerve pain. On that presumption, I’ve created the following self-hypnosis induction to relieve nerve pain.
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Ancillary characters playing a minor role in your dreams offer you an opportunity to understand and influence the dream. These characters are relative bystanders, like theatrical extras in a drama being put on for your benefit.
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“In the stock market, the most important organ is the stomach. It's not the brain.”— Peter Lynch
The stock market represents collective thinking with broader reach and more effective participation than politics. Its materialistic focus makes it feel less relevant, but the greater commitment and consequences for those who take part make it an impactful tool for organized behavior.
Recognize mental energy as a separate form of energy, just as mental strength is a separate form of strength. The energy resides in evoking courage and creativity. This is a real magic act, perhaps the fundamental act of magic.
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Creativity is essential to understanding, and courage is essential for creativity. Neither courage nor creativity is well understood, and neither is encouraged beyond a trivial level. As a result, few of us know or have been exposed to much of either.
This ignorance of knowing how to deal with uncertainty is a major cause of our stasis, intolerance, and fragility. Seen from another point of view, our meager skills in being creative or courageous contribute to our anxiety, frustration, lassitude, distress, and poor health. This may seem like an exaggeration, but I don’t think so.
• Uncertainty, Honesty, and Courage• Crisis Equals Opportunity• Magical Thinking• There is Wisdom Somewhere• The Illusion of Singularity• Courage is Not Foolishness
“The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn and relearn.”— Alvin Toffler
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What learning is, and schools are.
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What’s personally meaningful, socially useful, and institutionally enforced.
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Today's priorities are creativity, communication, and insight.
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Are kids less courageous than before?
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How does one learn to be creative?
The old public school model is a zombie. It's dangerous and should be dismantled. We don't need to know what comes next, just make room for it!
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Everything we manifest, both as individuals and in relationships, has its origins in our subconscious.
Dreams are an opportunity to understand yourself, if you take them seriously.
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Hypnosis is a mind-body technique; a way to amplify of our control of ourselves. This ability is both a risk and an asset. It’s something we all have to a more or less degree.
Two things remind me hypnosis is more of a skill than a state: a client and an article. Like many of my clients, this client is analytical and I’d like them to be less. The article is called Developing Deep Trance in Therapeutic Hypnosis…
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The Operating Manual ties together awareness of your neurology, your body, and your cognitive self-awareness. For most of us the neurology is obscure, the body is removed, and the mind is layered in habits and learned behaviors. But there is a synergy in these; they enlarge together, and greater awareness in one fosters greater awareness in the others.
The hypnotic induction “Changing” illustrates how perception grows from imagination. Perception creates moods, moods create emotions, and emotions create personality. It illustrates topics discussed in the book, but even without reading the book, if you deeply relax, you will be affected.
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My interview with Thomas Ahn, CEO of Mad Venture, where we discuss the approach he takes to investing in positive, world-changing businesses and the psychology of challenge and resilience.
Here is an outline of Chapter 2: Needing, from Operating Manual for Enlightenment, Recreating States of Mind:
The Family System; Childhood; Recollection; The Social Self; Growing Up
The Scheme of Things; Recollecting; Reconstructing; Recreating
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Let me introduce you to my next book: the Operating Manual for Enlightenment. The book’s goal is to set you straight about raising your sights and getting your feet on the ground. It encourages you to ask more of yourself, and be more successful in doing so.
As of this writing, my Kickstarter campaign is 1% beyond its goal. You can help me get further by adding your pledge to the campaign. Get the book in various forms. Pledge levels, starting at US$5, will get you an extended, ebook edition.
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In a deep discussion, Lincoln Stoller and Ed Watters explore the intersection of mental, emotional, and physical health, sharing insights gained from Lincoln’s project centered around the process of learning and personal growth.
Stoller details his experience with therapy and hypnotherapy, and his belief in the importance of exploring our vulnerabilities and weaknesses to develop a more rounded individual. The conversation delves into societal issues impacting mental health, the role of relationships in personal development, and the importance of avoiding dogma in favor of personal exploration.
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In this 68-minute interview we talk about the emotional requirements of change and growth. How all change is creative, and creativity requires courage, patience, tolerance, and self-appreciation. Since emotions are the foundations of our thinking, changing our thinking requires gaining understanding and control of our emotions.
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Lincoln and I discuss everything from personality to self-love to becoming enlightened to connecting to your higher self. Combining wisdom of the body with science of the brain, Lincoln helps people focus, perceive, create, integrate, and understand. These are learned skills with which you create reality. When you realize it’s not enough to believe what you’ve been taught, you can move into a greater chaos of opportunities.
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Competition
Competition is rooted in conquest for scarce resources. Sport has evolved into a contest of who gets to be recognized, rewarded, and survive. Winner takes all, and others get none.
The Olympics, a paradigm of success and specialization, are the heritage of the culture of conquest. To have value was to be the most powerful. In Roman culture, change, when it happened, was destructive.
Competition is appropriate where choices are exclusive. Perhaps the best genetic partner is the biggest and strongest if survival is at stake. But in the human sphere, situations are rarely so cut and dry and outcomes are not simple.
You are the winner at the cattle show. You don’t have to play the game.
When human needs are satisfied, those who prevail become gene-pool resources. But productivity is enhanced when the needs of all players are supported. We need those who don’t win in order to find change. It should not be “winner takes all.”
The Hunger Games
Individual ideas combine into collective attitudes that reflect a shared perspective. The individual idea of scarcity becomes the social perspective that we prevail or succumb as a group. In a competitive society, the winner controls the market, resources, power, or people. The winning society does the same.
There is feedback as social attitudes enhance or diminish individual ideas, even when they’re not clearly stated (Janis 1971). Most people see groupthink as the coercive force of majority suggestion. Collective thought patterns extend beyond immediate decisions. The groups you affiliate with become part of your mind.
If we’re embedded in a society that sees the environment in terms of either abundance or scarcity, then it is all around us. It appears in images, tales, politics, and what pretends to be “objective” news. As our thoughts change, our brains change, and what we think becomes part of us. Do not think human value is a scarce resource.
We don’t recognize how pattern oriented we are. We perceive and respond to patterns unconsciously. Manipulating this is the trick of mind reading; the mind reader does not read you, they lead you. This plays a role in therapy where a counselor works to re-pattern a client's thoughts.
Even therapists are only weakly aware of what they’re doing. Most think they’re effecting change by exploring different ways of making sense. They’re not. Change happens through the predominance of new patterns. We learn this as hypnotherapists. Creating new thinking patterns does not depend on making sense. More importantly, what you’re thinking now does not depend on what makes sense.
Your Virtual Reality
A deceptive aspect of game-play is that it presumes you believe that playing the game is real. Not that the simulated game-reality is real, but that the play is real. All games presume you accept the rules before you start. On this basis, nearly everything we do is a game: family, love, war, business, school, and life.
Few competitors, spectators, or coaches consider the implications of their participation. They don’t question the game. If you were to question them, they might say, “When you agree to play, you agree to the rules.” Or they might say, “If you don’t like the game, don’t play it.” When two boxers begin a match by shaking hands, they’re not saying they respect each other, they’re saying they’ll play by the rules.
Stop playing your games and consider what these games presume. They have rules and the rules rarely change. In those cases where the rules seem to change, that’s also part of the game. The rules don’t change so much that the game falls apart. Are these really growth-fostering environments? Is this really the environment you need?
The person who changes the rules is called the designer or the architect. If the game is life, the designer is called God. We are taught to be social animals. We are not taught how to design our own game.
It is presumed that the environment will stay the same long enough for your game to conclude. When the environment changes, gameplay becomes unstable. The game may not conclude and your safety can be in jeopardy. This is where trauma happens and marriages fail. More commonly, you’ll grow out of the game, and that’s healthy.
Playing a Better Game
If you’d like to play a better game, call me. It’s free.
“You’re stupid, you’re fat, you’re ugly, and nobody likes you.” — a typical, self-denigrating attitude
To Be Adequate
We have a prejudice that those who cannot perform at the level we expect are mentally challenged and, likewise, those who excel in performance have greater mental power. None of this are true. Performance is not a reflection of your mental ability.
Many of us go further. We equate performance with value, so that those who perform better are worth more. Value is not as easy to measure as performance, so we rarely assert our value or decry our lack, but it’s there in our hearts. Personal value is an issue of self worth.
People who feel they are deficient often work to exceed expectations in order to prove they are excellent or at least adequate. That is, we have many people working to redeem themselves from an accusation of inferiority. These people usually don’t proclaim their guilt, but they’re usually the people most convinced of it.
Why are we so often our own accusers? Is this healthy, and can our efforts to redeem ourselves succeed (Hermann, 2002)? Perhaps we are like inveterate alcoholics always in a state of weakness. According to the tenets of Alcoholics Anonymous, once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. The only escape is abstinence.
Western culture is a culture of scarcity. The pressure to demonstrate one’s adequacy pervades almost everything, everywhere, and affects almost everyone. The only ones who seem to be immune are those who either already have proved themselves or who don’t care. But of those who don’t care, it’s rare to find people who never questioned their value, yet there are such people.
The people who do not feel the need to prove themselves form a special group. These are people who are not or never were infected with a sense of inadequacy, inferiority, or guilt. These people are free from the shadow of self-doubt. We’d like to know how this is accomplished. Can we really prove ourselves, and to whom should we appeal?
To Be Inadequate
People burdened with self-doubt see those without self-doubt as redeemed. Many people feel they can redeem themselves through work hard or, pathologically, through suffering. These people might become athletes, entrepreneurs, or over-achievers but, if the reward is not forthcoming, they may turn to more hedonistic coping strategies.
It is fair to ask if people understand self-doubt: theirs or anyone else’s. Why do they need to prove themselves, and can they?
“Self-handicapping is a strategy in which people who are uncertain about their likelihood of success, paradoxically, will sabotage their own performance.”—Robert M. Arkin, psychologist (Arkin, 2001)
When I was young, I felt inadequate. Looking back, I felt alone, but what that meant was not clear to me at the time. In order to feel alone one has to have something to compare it to, otherwise it’s just the normal state of things. It would be more accurate to say that I felt deprived. Later I felt inadequate.
Inadequacy is learned. First, you have to know what you need, and then you have to recognize you cannot get it. That alone is not enough, you have to feel it’s your fault. Once you’ve achieved that, then you can feel inadequate.
Learning how you came to feel inadequate would be valuable. It’s a maze that takes years to get stuck in; years of being rewarded for making the wrong decisions. If we questioned ourselves more, we might be less liable to develop self-injurious ideas and emotional weaknesses.
This is why learning confidence in childhood is important as it puts you in a better position to recognize a toxic environment. This is why poor education, which is by far most of what passes as education, is destructive to individuals and society. People who don’t learn to love themselves early likely never will.
Self-inadequacy is a spectrum disorder. A few people are overly full of themselves and a few are utterly empty. The rest of us lie somewhere on the spectrum. A deprived childhood is only partly to blame; a lot of the blame lies with the culture and how we’re lured into believing what we’re told.
Christianity etc.
I find Christianity’s concept of original sin to be abhorrent. It’s the idea that you’re guilty of being fundamentally spiritually flawed in ways that you can’t know and there’s nothing you can do about it. The issue is not a hot topic for most people, and it’s rarely discussed, yet I think it has a pernicious effect.
The idea that you’re redeemable only by dint of authority is not part of Christ’s teaching (Spencer, 2021). I don’t blame the religion’s founders, I blame our culture for degrading people, a trend that has continued to evolve over time. Similar ideas are latent in secular systems that encourage some people to feel inherently better than others.
From the idea of being inherently cursed or blessed comes a plethora of sicknesses. Once these ideas are inserted into the culture, religion is no longer needed to sustain them. Similar to the way a virus can insert its DNA into the host, impaired personal worth inserts itself into the culture.
We can trace this back to religion because it’s stated in the bible. Among Calvinists we find people self-declared as in need of absolution. My family was not religious and our background was Jewish. Judaism also carries the low self-esteem virus which tends to manifest as elitism.
We can also trace it back to public school where, as children we were manipulated into reciting useless information to sadistic agents. Anyone who feels entitled to tell children how to think and act is sadistic. Teachers demonstrate self-worth by debasing others, and they do this to make themselves feel worthy. I learned of that personality trait from my overachieving father, who did that in his weaker moments.
Elitism is a strategy for coping with inadequacy. For those of us lacking in self-love, being normal is being inferior. We search for a way to show we’re special, but demonstration is never enough to overcome a lack of self-faith.
Doubting what you feel is a very old feature of Western culture. This lack of insight kept Europe in the Dark Ages for one thousand years. It’s interesting to return to history and learn of the lack of self-confidence that supported blind faith in the earth-centered conception of the universe (Trusted, 1991).
Self-Hatred versus Self-Love
My ex is well-liked in her fundamentalist congregation. Like everyone, she has some odd behaviors you wouldn’t know without a detailed history. She also hates herself. Childhood abuse and religious perversion lie at the root. Low self-esteem has brought her back to the same mindset that fostered the abuse. Becoming ensnared in a cycle of abuse is sometimes referred to as Stockholm Syndrome, the belief that only your accuser can redeem you.
I was told of an ultra-marathon runner who will not be satisfied until they win in the major races. Ultra-marathons are foot races of typically 100 miles. Being a regional champion is not enough. In truth, being a national champion will never be enough. Nothing will ever be enough. In the words of this person’s counselor, their predominant character trait is self-hatred. In particular, they loathe their body, so it’s from their body they must exorcize their deficiency.
Self-hatred is not a topic of casual conversation and it’s not something people are even curious about. Most of us feel somewhat guilty of or vulnerable to it, so we don’t talk about it. It’s easy to speculate where self-loathing comes from, and it’s never easy to share.
My three books on learning, beginning with The Learning Project (Stoller 2019), are ostensibly about self-love. But self-love is not so much a thing as a process. You can’t isolate or extract it, but you can see it in the character of people who have it. It is the source of creativity, value, and self-acceptance.
I find myself attracted to people who have self-worth as well as people who don’t. There is a similarity in these polar opposites: the ones who have it and the ones who need it. People who are alike weakly attract like. Two people who value themselves easily work together.
Two needy people can strongly attract one another because they may offer just what the other needs, and nothing satisfies more than having your needs met. Co-dependent relationships are created by insecure people who are too satisfied to change and too fragile to grow. This might have described my parents.
Opposites also attract, but not in the same way for each. If you lack self-worth, it’s tempting to think those who have it can give it to you. If you have self-worth, then you know you can show it to those who don’t have it. You also recognize that those who don’t know it, can’t see it and won’t appreciate it.
Experience has taught me that you can sense a person’s self-esteem without knowing them. You see self-worth in the traits of being forthright, direct, open, and acting with integrity. Self-worth leads to self-faith, and a person you can trust. It’s a subtle perception to which dogs are better attuned than people. They can smell it.
When I was young, I lacked this sense. I was told explicitly by school teachers and implicitly by my weak parents that I didn’t have value and I would have to find it. I listened to many people who were consumed by this toxic attitude before I understood the creative path shown to me by a few people who loved themselves.
False Approval
Physical beauty and strength are widely celebrated and insubstantial measures of meaning. Like all false endorsements, these are “bait and switch” enticements. The lure is affirmation for someone who feels deficient; the switch lies in both the insubstantial endorsement and the exploitation that comes with it.
Women have been lured into seeking affirmation of beauty by being trained to think they’re ugly and inferior. Men have been lured into seeking affirmation of strength by being trained to think they’re weak and insignificant (Caulfield, 2015).
Social affirmations of a person’s beauty or strength are really affirmations of ugliness and weakness. Because these forms of approval are based on false appearances, a person’s belief in their true appearance is degraded, and they make us less likely to reveal our true selves.
Seeking affirmation of beauty or strength is seeking approval for high performance. The difference resides in the degree you learn to accept your true self. If you depend on being seen as beautiful or strong, then a more authentic self-value without that affirmation is disparaged. Your false self is endorsed, but you can never feel truly invested in it. If you are not satisfied with your best performance you’re fucked. Until you are satisfied with yourself, you will never be satisfied with anyone.
"It is a psychological game, it really is... You gotta know what to say, and when not to say it. In the room, when you’re working with them… on the mat right here… you've got a kid that comes off the mat and he's destroyed. If you go over there and pat him on the back that frigin’ sucks, man. You make him feel worse.”—Lou Giani, wrestling coach (Stoller 2019b).
You find self-worth when you discover what’s deeply meaningful. It doesn’t need to be something others support and you don’t need the approval of others. In fact, being judged as successful by others is a trap because it’s not you that is endorsed, but other people’s needs.
Money and Media
Most of us feel money is deeply meaningful. We disparage the superficiality of money, but we’re addicted to it. This is similar to our addictions to social approval for beauty, strength, and performance. Consider your hesitance to reveal the amount of your salary or savings, and reflect on what this means in terms of self-value and how you value others.
In each case, what we crave is either given to us by others who don’t care about us, or taken by us from others from whom we don’t care about. This is the defining character of social media. Many complain about it.
Rejecting the attraction of social media is less an affirmation of higher values, and more a reliance on them. It’s the irritation of being held to yet another false standard, and a preference to return to the false standards that feel more substantial. People who reject social media do not recognize real value, they just want endorsements that are under their control.
Where social media is a trend to increasingly scarce false approval, those feeling deprived want more available false approval. Speaking as a person who has found a modicum of self-approval and self-love, I couldn’t give a s**t about my profile on social media, aside from whether or not it supports my business.
All that I’ve said has focused on what’s false, but no amount of rejection is satisfying. To find self-love you need to engage with what’s fortifying. I’ll address that next week.
References
Arkin, R. M. (2001 Fall). Self-doubt, handicaps, and hard work. Eye on Psi Chi 6 (1). https://doi.org/1092-0803.Eye6.1.18
Caulfield, T (2015, May). The pseudoscience of beauty products, The Atlantic. https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/05/the-pseudoscience-of-beauty-products/392201/
Hermann, A. D., Leonardelli, G. J., & Arkin, R. M. (2002 Mar). Self-Doubt and Self-Esteem: A Threat from within. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 28(3), 395-408. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/234168335_Self-Doubt_and_Self-Esteem_A_Threat_from_within
Spencer, D.(2021 Summer). Does St. Paul Believe in Original Sin? Yeah, but so What? Journal of Analytic Theology 9. https://doi.org/10.12978/jat.2021-9.030011181517
Stoller, L. (2019). The learning project: Rites of passage. Mind Strength Balance. https://www.mindstrengthbalance.com/learn/index.htm
Stoller, L. (2019b). Lou Giani: wrestling coach, from The learning project: Rites of passage. Mind Strength Balance. https://www.mindstrengthbalance.com/learn/interviews/lougiani_text.htm
Trusted, J. (1991). Physics and metaphysics: Theories of space and time. Routledge.
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Here I am interviewed by climber, storyteller, and film director Jason B. Mulligan of the G.O. podcast and video series.
G.O. Get Outside: The Podcast
G.O. Get Outside - The Video Series
Describing our January 2024 interview, Jason says:
Lincoln Stoller was introduced to climbing at the age of thirteen which quickly evolved into mountaineering. Throughout the 70s and 80s he climbed with storied greats such as Fred Beckey. His curious mind lead him to pursuits such as soar plane piloting, diving, exploring foreign cultures, and the studies of physics and psychology. He is the author of several books, a therapist, and a grief counselor for the AAC Climber’s Grief Fund. He and Jason spoke across the internet one morning about his quest to understand humanity and the world, the psychology of climbers, and what he has learned from his clients.
I’m not sure how much you’ll learn about humanity and the world, but if you wonder about your relationship with the outdoors, then you should find this interesting.
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Mind and Body
This is one of a suite of mind-body audios I’ve recorded for the organs of your body.
If you’re a paying subscriber, then this is the FULL 27-minute, self-hypnosis audio titled “The Kidney’s Fine Structure.” If you’re a free subscriber it’s the audio’s FIRST HALF. In either case, this audio will make you sleepy and degrade your reactions. It might put you to sleep. So …
Do not listen to this audio if you are driving a car, operating machinery, or doing anything that requires your attention!
Since your subconscious can better communicate and collaborate with you body than your conscious mind, I hope you can improve your kidneys’ functions by simply listening to this recording.
This would be important if your kidneys were functioning poorly, but it may be just as important for maintaining good function in the long run.
Habits
Human beings develop habits over their lifetimes. We acquire most of our habits while we’re young, and these habits get entrenched as we age. We might assume the habits we learn improve our function and health, but that depends on our being aware of what healthy function means. But either because we’re insensitive or indifferent, we develop poor habits.
I created my mind-body suite of audios to improve your awareness of the connection between your mind and body. If you are developing this connection, then these audio may help you develop a stronger, more resilient relationship. If you are afflicted by a disease or dysfunction, these audios may help you heal.
The best way to understand what I’m talking about is to listen to this audio file. Listen to it several times, until it no longer interests you. At that point, you’ve got it!
Note for Free Subscribers
If you’re a free subscriber and you’d like to down full audio file, then…
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you can buy it on my products page. After you buy it you’ll get an email with the link to the MP3 auio file),
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or become a paid subscriber. Then return to this post and you’ll be able to hear and download the full version.
“No man can serve two masters. Your life is shaped by the end you live for. You are made in the image of what you desire.” — Thomas Merton
This piece concerns interoception, or body awareness, for the purpose of becoming more aware of and in tune with your body.
You juggle your daily schedule and have some reservations about your family. You have a profession for which you’ve developed some skills, but you only rely on one or two skills at a time. You’d like to find higher insight in order to bring meaning, purpose, and personal value to life.
Your mind coordinates. That’s what it does, and it manages generalities and uncertainties. For this, you’ve developed attitudes, guidelines, and a personality. These “soft qualities” help manage the chaos and opportunities of life, but it is not quite enough. We’re always looking for a little prophecy, a little more certainty, a connection with the things that really matter.
Which is More Real, the Future or the Present?
Everything in your head pertains to what might be. Your brain is a forward-looking organ that creates and manages information. It’s your organ of uncertainty, and that’s why it has no certain shape or function, and we cannot isolate its parts.
Everything your brain does projects the present into the future. The reason we cannot “find” the mind in substance or organ is because “the mind” exists in and for the future. It does not exist in the present. All we hear that tells us to be present refers not to who we are, but where we’re coming from. A sound mind is rooted in a clear connection with the present, but does not exist in it. What we call existence is our temporal connection to the future.
What Defines Us?
Your mind is a servant, no matter how smart you are. We invent the notion of God to have something to be of service to, simply because, as servants, we need direction. I think God is as good a unifying principle as any, as long as you leave it unformed and unspoken. Don’t put words in the mouths of your gods. Take only general direction from them.
Your mind deals with and is composed of uncertainty and change. What your mind needs is a reliable foundation. An unassailable reality that is certain and unequivocal. We know reality is relative to what you interact with, which means there is one primary reality for us all. But there is one presence that is grounded in universal law, balance, and fair behavior.
This master both loves you and is responsible for you. It knows you better than anyone and is devoted to your best interests and your highest evolution. It speaks many languages and never leaves you. Before you look to celestial guidance or moral purpose, this is the first and perhaps only real master of your house. This master is your body.
As Above, So Below
To compare the universal deity to your last st may be the greatest opposition we can imagine, but there is a sneaky truth in the dictum of “as above, so below.” There is no problem connecting st to reality. Of all the things in this world that deserve to be thought of as being connected to everything, s**t qualifies. We can prove it. On the other hand, there is no proof that God, mind, or human values have reality or connect to anything.
I’m not evangelizing the church of st. I’m saying that our st is the ultimate output of our daily functions. Putting aside our noble goals, lineage, and cosmic purpose, the thing that we’re certain we don’t want is st. Of course, it is not bad; it is simply the paradigm of irrelevance. Yet, if there is to be a cycle of life and continuity, this st must hold a foundational place in it. And it does, just not for us in its present form.
I mention st just to create the contrast. To know precisely what you don’t want is useful knowledge in finding what you do want. In a twisted kind of way, what you do want is everything that st becomes for all the world that you don’t serve. St is your link to the cycle of life. If your mind is forward-navigating the world, then your st is a backward reflection of your role in the universe.
Who Lives In the Present?
Your s**t is your past, but it is the future for essential parts of our universe. It is as essential to life as the air we exhale. Your mind holds the quintessential sense of you but, aside from your positive or negative legacy, who you are makes no difference. To be fair, my cat would like me to continue to feed and house him, but that’s the limit of his concern. Dogs and families have other attitudes, but it still boils down to how you support them.
Support is the keystone that holds the cycle together. People who don’t support you are not enhancing your future or your role in it. They are indigestible elements or worse; they may be toxic. Again, we come back to the body.
The point I’m making—and it’s more of a statement—is that you’re only as clear about your future as you are grounded in your body. And whereas you spend a lot of time wondering about what to do next, you won’t get far unless you’re well connected to your physical reality. Your body is the key to knowing what is nutritious and what is toxic.
Let’s Talk About Kidneys
The parts of your body I’m most concerned with are your organs, and I’m most concerned with the internal ones. Your skin, bones, and muscles can be thought of as organs, but they’re different. I think we have a direct connection to them, though the connection could be improved.
I have been working with the internal organs, and I have created meditations on all that I could relate to, but I still need to address the kidneys. I’ve left this system to last because I find it difficult. The kidneys are a pair of delicate, hidden organs that perform subtle functions of balancing and purifying the blood.
Next week, I will publish my hypnotic kidney induction. Its purpose is to connect your mind with the mentality of your kidneys. Your kidneys “think” in an organic way. They are dynamic and responsive, and they communicate with your body through the release of hormones.
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This is a conversation between myself and Sheryl Garratt, a coach for professional creatives based in the UK. We talk about the issues of being a successful professional in creative fields, as well as the role of creativity in personal health and the wider culture.
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Self-Hypnosis Inductions
For the last two years, I’ve been creating hypnotic inductions for my clients. They emerge like tulips when the time is right, and they’re always exactly the right color. The inductions, I mean, not the clients. It’s been a while since I created a hypnotic induction for everyone, and that's what I've done here...
“Don’t tell me how rocky the sea is, just bring the ship in.”—Lou Holtz, football coach
I enjoy answering interview questions posed by Authority Magazine because they’re so uninformed. They are makes it possible to put misconceptions in the cross-hairs.
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Sean Craemer’s Revelation Podcast is a conversation on significant topics of life, emotions, and values.
In this interview, I combine science, dreams, and mental health issues. Curiosity in art and science is the same curiosity essential for attaining mental health. You won’t get much support, but you can’t find personal value without it.
Listen to the original version on Spotify:
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“Run from what’s comfortable. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation.”— Jalāl al-Dīn Muḥammad Rūmī
In my last course of antibiotics, we added Metronidazole, a drug designed to kill anaerobic bacteria. It has a long list of negative side effects and I experienced many of them. One of them was depression.
I’d wake up depressed and have bouts of hopelessness. It would take me a minute to realize this was an induced state of mind and not a true reflection of my situation. The state was chemically induced…
No one knows why SSRIs are effective or why they fail, but my experience shows there is a gut-brain connection. It’s also clear that one’s intentions, behaviors, and expectations play a role…
StatesChemistryDepression’s Many FacesMental State ManagementThe Drug PushersThe Neurology UnderneathForget the PsychologyDo It Your Way
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Benjamin and I talk about dreams, sleep, change, growth, and how to use your state of mind to fortify your being.
The video and audio of this 49-minute episode can be viewed at Benjamin’s website:
https://benjaminthedreamwizard.wordpress.com/2023/11/24/dreamscapes-episode-148-unconditional-positive-disregard/
and his YouTube channel:
For more information on dreaming and self-awareness, consult my book, “Becoming Lucid: Self-Awareness in Sleeping and Waking Life.”
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“The highest form a civilization can reach is correctly trusting one another.” — Charlie Munger, investor
The attraction of extreme sports is strong and unambiguous feedback. Tests yourself, if that’s what it takes to gain trust in yourself, but don’t get habituated on risk-taking. Grace is the object, not achievement.
Could you share insights into the emotional dynamics?
What is the role of emotional depth in communication?
What misconceptions do people have?
What is the role of non-verbal communication?
How do you balance intellectual and emotional support?
How can men improve their emotional connections?
How do emotional connections contribute to resilience?
What advice would you give to men?
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Nick McGowan hosts the Mindset Self-Mastery Podcast
Episode #60 with Lincoln Stoller
The key to understanding where your thoughts come from.
Changing your brainwaves causes subtle changes in awareness that you cannot pinpoint. We don’t notice these changes and, instead, ascribe them to our circumstances, projecting our awareness onto the world that we’re aware of.
We cast blame or give credit in the world that we bring into focus. Riding on top of our logic, we take what we remember for granted, and overlook our role in making sense. It is our basic habit of control that becomes a limit to our self-control.
Much of the fiction that we cannot change who we are comes from our limited ability to recognize ourselves. Brainwave training changes that. It gives us the ability to change who we are.
See this Nick’s other podcasts on his Mindset and Self-Mastery Show webpage.
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“We all have an enormous responsibility to bring to the attention of others information they do not have, which has the potential of causing them to rethink long-held ideas.” — Howard Zinn, historian and philosopher
I’ve created a book called Sensations, Thoughts, and Emotions as a compilation of things I’ve written that are important for my clients. The title reflects my understanding of psychology, myself, and relationships. I don’t mean these three parts to be universal, but they might be.
STE is ready for publication, and I need reader endorsements to put on the back cover.
If you’d like to see the book and offer an endorsement, let me know and I’ll send you a digital copy that’s complete except for your comments. Send your request to me at LS@mindstrengthbalance.com
And if you’re a paying subscriber, or become a paying subscriber, and I use your endorsement, then I’ll send you a free, printed copy of STE.
Gödel, Escher, and Bach
STE
The Harmony of the Spheres
The Alternative to Rationalism is not Irrationalism
I Need Your Endorsement!
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“I know people who have tried to order it around—heavy male dominator types who want to beat information out of it—and my god, they have bad trips so terrifying that they never come back to it again.” — Terence McKenna (1992)
There is talk of cures and healing, but limited context for it. Dramatically positive results show the benefit some psychedelics are affording to people diagnosed with mental disorders. Using psychedelics as medicines or sacraments will have different results…
We’ve got an epidemic of street drugs laced with fentanyl, and law enforcement is getting mixed messages. Judging from the comments in social media, the public doesn’t know the difference between recreational, therapeutic, and inspirational drug use…
On a Large Scale
Vying for Control
Roller Coasters Are Medicine Too
What is Psychedelic Science Studying?
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Dive deep into the hidden realms of consciousness, dreams, and lucidity with "Journey into The Unseen Mind," a mind-bending episode with special guest, Lincoln Stoller.
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“’At our hearts, we've been talking about the quantum physics of things, the things that don't make sense, but we know them to be true...”― Chris Kalous
I contacted Chris Kalous, host of The Enormocast Podcast, in order to talk about the American Alpine Club’s Climbers Grief Fund, in which I am a volunteer therapist.
My attitude is that grief counseling is one of the last things a climber need therapy for, literally, and that counseling can be empowering and can make one both a better person and a better climber.
Naturally, Chris and I talk about a lot of things relating to climbing, exploration, and how attitudes have changed over the decades.
This audio is my edit of his original podcast. I took out the ads because I don’t think I’m obliged to keep them, and you don’t want to hear them, but our conversation remains intact. To listen to the original, with the ads, go here:
August 7, 2023 by Chris Kalous
Enormocast #268: Lincoln Stoller–The Physics of the Unknown
https://enormocast.com/2023/08/enomrocast-268-lincoln-stoller-the-physics-of-the-unknown/
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“The influence of narcissism on so many aspects of science calls into question [its] very objectivity.” — Bruno Lamaitre, quoted in The Guardian
Academics tend toward the pretentious, but express different attitudes in different fields. I used to wonder why some fields had exploitative hierarchies, and others less so. I assumed it had some functional or historical precedent. I now believe it’s personal: people are attracted to these fields because the professional behavior suits their personalities…
I’m glad I became a therapist. I now engage deeply with people with whom I have nothing in common and from whom I have nothing to gain, at least not directly. I gain indirectly by learning how people’s minds work; something scientists try to hide.
Reading Science
What Communities Do For Us
Academia is Purgatory
Where You’ll Find the Devil
Back to Science
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“The emotionally intelligent person is skilled in four areas: identifying emotions, using emotions, understanding emotions, and regulating emotions.”— John Mayer and Peter Salovey (1990)
Emotion is not unintelligent, undirected, disconnected, or extreme. We think of emotion in these limited ways because we encounter emotion in these dysregulated forms.
Emotions are not something you have, they are something you read. When we are emotional, we are enacting the sign rather than understanding it
Part of one’s success in managing emotions lies in how you approach them… Engaging your emotions is the next step… The final step is integration…
Forget What You Know About Emotion
Emotions In General
Some Emotions in Particular
Reading the Signs
Exploring Emotional Change
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“The speed of change today is faster than the human psyche seems to be able to handle.”— Marianne Williamson
The underlying issue is flexibility. We would like to discuss this as if it’s something we have control over, but I don’t think we do. I will overstate the case that people are inflexible because, if I don’t, then you’ll excuse yourself. If you want to change, you must be brutally honest. Change involves your full participation and alterations of all aspects of yourself. There are no “small changes.” If you don’t put everything on the table, nothing happens.
Flexibility
Voices
Navigating Change
Guidance
Neurology
Ways to Change
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“Arise! Awake!” — Swami Vivekananda, philosopher and sage
There is no “time” that can be made longer, and there isn’t any more room for things to happen in time. Time is full, and we cannot overfill it. Where would we put the extra? But we do have choices: we can alter what time is full of, and we can choose in time what we attend to.
If you want to be more efficient, focus on the task at hand. If you want to be happy, focus on what’s meaningful. And if you want to live longer, then expand your focus and become more involved with living.
Space Is Not Just What’s Around You
Human Time Is Not Linear
What Does It Mean to Make Time?
Fit More Space Into Less Time
Creating Your Own Adrenaline
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“Lincoln Stoller is a quantum physicist, neuropsychologist, hypnotherapist, clinical counsellor, psychonaut, mountaineer, author, & educator. He combines science, spirit, and economics by applying an understanding of hard science to imagination, psyche, and the behaviour of groups.”
In this 50 minute interview, we talk about the integration of neurofeedback with psychotherapy.
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Focusing on the process of awareness.
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What can we learn from brain training?
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Medical issues addressed through brain training.
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What do we commonly misunderstand?
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Focusing on organs and energy systems.
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Interoception: becoming aware of being inside your body
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Awareness of energy function, and the body's healing response.
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Conjuring the spirits of health and illness, and conversing with them.
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How much does a person's ego get in the way?
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What does a people learn when they connect to their spiritual selves?
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The commitment to purpose and having meaning in life.
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Achieving a deeper understanding of things your ego disregards.
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Are we teaching today's young people about commitment and purpose?
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We have created a risk-free culture that fails to provide engagement.
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Learning to manage risk trains your brain in a stressful world.
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Many of today's adults have never gone through a rite of passage.
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Learning responsibility, finding a role, making a commitment, and finding one’s purpose.
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Your mind is a way to regulate awareness, not simply control it. Learn to tune your mind.
Truehope is a company dedicated first and foremost to promoting Brain and Body Health through non-invasive, nutritional means. Founded in 1996 by Tony Stephan and David Hardy, the company is completely independent.
Go to the Truehope Canada website:
www.truehopecanada.com
Listen to this podcast on these platforms:
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“The amount of st you get is determined by the amount that you’ll put up with.”― Marcus Garvey (I think)
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What does being authentic mean?
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What are the positive aspects of being authentic and vulnerable?
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Are there negative aspects to authenticity and vulnerability?
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What holds someone back from being authentic and vulnerable?
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What are five ways that being authentic and vulnerable pay off?
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What would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people?
This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mindstrengthbalance.substack.com/subscribe
podcast with Terry McMullen
Interview Aired February 6, 2023
Terry transcribed his introduction, and this is what he said:
Contradictions and Dualities
“I say often on this show, that life is complex and full of nuance. It is full of these paradoxes, contradictions, and dualities that we need to try to manage. It is messy and hard to get a grasp on. Sometimes we find ourselves scratching our heads trying to make sense of it all. In many ways, that encompasses the conversation I had with my guest, Lincoln.
Fluidity and Nuance
Usually within 10–20 minutes I can get a decent grasp of the other person and can start to paint a picture of what they are all about. I mean this as a compliment; with Lincoln, that was not the case. Much like life, I found myself trying to keep up with the fluidity and nuance of his mindset.
Never Settle For the Wrapper
“That can sound like a negative because our minds so desperately want to put people into a box. We want to quickly understand and categorize people. Interestingly, that is exactly what Lincoln wants to avoid. His approach to life is to never settle and never allow yourself to be limited by a categorization or wrapper. He is constantly learning, constantly pushing himself to try to be bigger, better, and different.
Life as an Infinite Game
“That is how Lincoln views life, it is an infinite game that requires constant progression. This means he climbs mountains, scuba dives, skydives, and seeks out opportunities to ‘look over the guardrail of life’ and see what he can learn. In his professional career (https://www.mindstrengthbalance.com) it looks like him being a psychotherapist, author, coach, past life regression specialist, hypnotherapist, and I would say philosopher.
Tangents and Threads
“There were a ton of interesting insights, tangents, and logical threads we explored in this one. We talked about death, parenting, education, Richard Feynman (one of my personal heroes), creativity, and a lot more. I think it is Lincoln's value (which we unpacked throughout the show) which best summarizes our conversation though.
Go Out Singing!
“When I asked him what it was all about, why all the learning and pushing to do/see more; he said he wants to ‘change, embrace chaos, and go out singing.’ What an approach to life—to want to change and grow above all else, to welcome the chaos life throws at us, and ultimately to leave this world so content and full of joy that you go out singing when you die.”
Listen to this podcast on these other platforms:
If you’d like to explore these topics in your life, book a free discovery call on my calendar, and I’ll speak with you at that time.
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To be more of what you are, control yourself. To be more of what you can become, open to chaos.
As a guest on Bonnie Groessl's Holistic Entrepreneur, Lincoln discusses the role of self-awareness and consciousness in life and business. You grow into an improved version of who you are, and into better versions of who you could be. You are not driving this process, your insight into it is limited, and your control of it is somewhat unnecessary.
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“To live without hope is to cease to live.”— Fyodor Dostoevsky
On one hand, Past Life Regression is offered as a supernatural spectacle that connects paying audiences to mysteries of the afterlife. On the other hand, it’s a technique of self-exploration that can take a person beyond their conscious intentions and abilities to levels of deep personal understanding.
This is just where you want to go if you’re looking for therapeutic change.
Defining Past Life Regression
Reincarnation
The Genesis of PLR
Regression and Hypnosis
Past Life Regression as Therapy
Past Life Regression Protocol
The Future of Past Life Regression
Training and Certification
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Gaming is a way of phrasing problems. In a game situation, there is a start, an end, goals, and strategies for reaching them. We think problems are real because that makes answers possible. But in most cases, it’s not. Our problems arise from how we think, and our answers are destructive.
Rob advocates games for learning. I advocate games for failing, to show us how we sabotage ourselves. The best games motivated to create something new.
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“It's never too late to be who you might have been.” — George Elliot
Whatever you think your problems are, the desire to exploit or to be exploited swims among the roots. You might call it learned insecurity, or our culture of scarcity. My doubting of how other people think has led others to call me stupid enough times for me to realize that the ecological imbalance is not in the environment that we’ve created, it’s inside us.
You
What’s Going On
What You Know
What Others Tell You
The Root of Your Problem
Personality is Not a Prison
If you’ve thought enough about it, and you’d like to make a change, then let’s find out who you really are.
https://www.mindstrengthbalance.com/schedule15
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Join Brandon Handley and me on the November 16, 2022, installment of the Spiritual Dope Podcast.
We talk about psychedelics in personal growth and mental health. Who is the person taking the psychedelic, and what’s the role of the person helping them?
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Are psychedelics really medicine?
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Is a medicine something that’s administered to you, or something you can administer for yourself?
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What can psychedelics teach you?
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What’s the nature of the experience?
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What help can you get from a doctor, therapist, shaman, or friend?
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If you’re not sure what’s coming, then how can you prepare?
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“The cheerful mind perseveres, and the strong mind hews its way through a thousand difficulties.”– Swami Vivekananda
Health is a full body experience. Providers of psychotherapy would like you to believe therapy, counseling, and coaching provide separate solutions, but these are all on the same spectrum from the perspective of mind and health.
Clarity involves channeling your thoughts and emotions. Communication requires empathy and attention. Realizing your vision requires knowledge and planning. Have you wondered why these are presented as separate skills, three unrelated aspects of success? To emphasize one without the others puts lopsided weight on a spinning disk.
Science
Medicine
Sleep
Addiction
Full Body Health
I want my subscribers to become super enabled. Click this link, select a time, and I’ll send you the details, and we can start to put all your skills together.
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In this somewhat unusual interview published in July 2022, I took the “I feel lost” approach to a topic that has no clear path through it. I wasn’t faking; there’s more to gain by being lost in a topic as big as this.
Daniel indulged me. I’m not sure how it ends up sounding to the listener. When he posted the audio, he complimented me with these words:
Lincoln is an amazing man to speak with and has brilliant insight. I really enjoy speaking with this man.
You can also listen to this audio on Apple Podcasts, or Daniel’s Life Changes You website, (Season 3, episode 168, published July 30, 2022).
Tell me what you think.
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“Real monsters eat you from the inside out”. ― Dia Reeves, author
Monsters are the things that drive people to do monstrous things. They aren’t beings in the objective sense, but then, none of what makes up our identity are objective things. Still, they are as real as any part of us. They are constructions that inhabit our thoughts.
We need to picture monsters as other than ourselves in order to suppress and avoid them. We don’t want the responsibility for creating our monsters, as that could threaten our winnings. This is more than just a fallacy of certitude, it’s a tendency toward narcissism. We all whitewash our flaws.
Monsters Defined
Demons Defined
Dissolution or Exorcism
You Can Free Yourself
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On the Synergy Connection podcast, Lucy Forsting and I take a therapeutic perspective on the anxiety we are all experiencing as we look at the financial, political, and health concerns of the world.
David Leonhardt, in an article for the New York Times (Sept. 17, 2022), says the views of the nation are no longer being considered for the “good of the whole”. This would appear to be true throughout the world, with no answers on the horizon. This is creating a storm of increasing anxiety for people of all ages.
“These sharp disagreements have led many Americans to doubt the country’s system of government. In a recent poll by Quinnipiac University, 69 percent of Democrats and 69 percent of Republicans said that democracy was ‘in danger of collapse.’”
— David Leonhardt, from ‘A Crisis Coming,’ The Twin Threats to American Democracy
You can also listen to this on Lucy’s Synergy Connection Radio webpage.
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“You may have expected that enlightenment would come Zap! instantaneous and permanent. This is unlikely.”
— Ram Dass
My book Instant Enlightenment, Awakening Your States of Mind, is finished. I’ve created a long summary—not that long really, only 10 pages—that reads quite differently from the book. Here is the first part of that summary, broken into three installments.
Chapter 0 — Prologue
Chapter 1 — Introduction
Chapter 2 – Releasing
Chapter 2 – Releasing
Chapter 4 – Seeing
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How to build-in satisfaction?
Entrepreneurs are curious and solution-focused. They tend to be innovators and risk-takers. Psychotherapists are social and structure-focused. They’re risk averse and are attracted to structures and solutions.
These differences keep the two apart, but each would be well-served if they better understand these differences. This is evident in my talk with Micheal Lee, whose focus is business building, but whose curiosity was peaked by my work as a hypnotherapist.
You can also listen to this interview on Spotify:
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I spoke with Amina Mara, Lucid Dreaming Coach & Host of The Dreamworld Podcast, about my book Becoming Lucid, Self-awareness in Sleeping and Waking Life.
Amina writes:
Deamosophy teaches you to explore and utilize your dreams deliberately, to gain the edge in your waking personal and professional life without having to spend crazy amounts of money to be guided by dream experts in the field! Overcome challenges, promote healing, and explore the depths of YOUR reality.
Free, digital copies of Becoming Lucid can be downloaded by clicking this link:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/pzkfcswdh9ciku0/Becoming%20Lucid.epub?dl=0
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Episode 79 of Leanne’s Barefoot with Spirit Podcast: The Truth About Enlightenment
About Lincoln
Lincoln has a PhD in quantum physics, is a certified hypnotherapist and clinical counselor, with publications in dozens of fields and focuses on aspects of mindful experience from the neurological and subconscious to the mathematical and collective. He practices as a therapist and counselor providing training and resources with his goal being not to cure but to heal you, not to make you better but to make it unnecessary for you to be sick. Lincoln is passionate about teaching you to be so well and attuned to health that you restore balance now, and before it becomes disease.
About Leanne
The Barefoot Medium is an International Medium, Twin Flame, Transformational Coach & Author who is blessed and honoured to act as the bridge between you and your loved one(s) who have passed over to Spirit and be able to pass on their messages of support, peace, forgiveness, joy and love. She is also passionate about bringing together her spiritual gifts with over 20 years of professional experience in senior management, training, mentoring and educating to support and empower people to transform their lives and manifest their dreams through her transformational coaching programs, courses and retreats.
Located in Australia, learn more on Leanne’s website.
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This podcast represents a turn toward a popular audience. It was my pleasure to speak with Burke, who is adept at carrying the ideas of those he speaks with to a broader audience.
Burke presents me as the expert, but in the world of communication he has much to teach us. Listen to his questions.
“Dr. Lincoln Stoller, an academic jack of all trades, currently specialized in hypnosis and sleep therapy, speaks about the intricacies of the human mind and what we can learn from our thoughts and dreams.”
Lincoln has been featured in several articles discussing mental health, psychology, and hypnosis and has also been verified by Psychology Today.
The Big Time Talker is sponsored by Speakermatch.com.
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Daniel Silk, a psychotherapist in Melbourne, Australia, had me back on his third season of his Life Changes You podcast for a frenetic game of verbal rugby to score the goal of how therapy can change the culture.
Listen to this 40-minute podcast here, the Life Changes You website, the Apple Podcast site, or any of various other podcast sources.
At lifechangesyou.com.au Daniel says,
“Explore what you love,
transform how you think,
become an exceptional being.”
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“The term neurosis, as generally applied, is not accurate or helpful. In fact, one of the most negative influences on mental health is the ‘sick’ concept itself, which tightens and distorts, keeping us from a natural unfolding and realignment.”
— Neal M. Goldsmith (2010), psychotherapist
Psychedelic-assisted therapy consists of psychedelics without therapy, combined with therapy without psychedelics. Lacking a theory, practice, or paradigm to combine the two, they separate like oil and water. There is no common framework for psychotherapy and psychedelics to work together.
Where is the Common Ground?
Not Here to Fix a Problem
Not a Side-Kick to Therapy
For a Lack of Inner Vision
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This interview was aired on July 1st, 2022 on WDST - Radio Woodstock 100.1.
In this interview we addressed culture, learning, and personal growth.
The interview is 2 hours long; I begin speaking at minute 6.
I lived close to Woodstock, NY for 25 years. I first met Shelli and Nathan when I helped bring the traditional Mongolian musical group Badma Khanda to tour and teach around 2005. We hosted a weekend workshop on Mongolian Throat Singing in The Colony Cafe, in Woodstock, NY.
The band was a star attraction at the May Day celebration at the Rokeby Estate, on the Hudson River. We slaughtered a sheep in the Mongolian tradition and created from it a feast for 100 guests. In the evening various local musicians performed, including Bhadma Khanda and Steve Gorn.
The band subsequently toured with Roswell Rudd and, with Roswell, produced the album Blue Mongol. Bhadma Khanda has not returned to the US, but has since become famous in Siberia. I’d like to take my son to visit them.
That has nothing to do with this interview. I just thought I’d mention it.
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“The true art of memory is the art of attention.”
— Samuel Johnson
Memory is not a record of the past, it’s a resource for acting in the present. You remember in order to know what to do or not to do, not for nostalgic purposes.
For the smartest beings in the universe, we certainly don’t see, hear, or remember much. There have been savants who remember everything, and their brains appear no different than ours. We could remember so much more, but we don’t. And the reason we don’t is because it would be a waste of resources. The question we might ask, given the incredible things our brains are capable of, is why aren’t we doing more with it?
Amnesia
Recall
Trauma and Significance
Regression
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Lara May and I recently spoke on mental health and psychedelics. She’s asking questions, I’m answering them. I very much thank Dr. May for hosting me!
Dr. Lara May, PharmD BCPS APh CFMP
Lightbody Healing and Consulting
Integrative Nutrition & Functional Medicine Specialist,
Master Intuitive Healer & Teacher
drlaramay.com
Here’s how Lara May describes herself:
Dr. Lara works on the inner and outer principles of health and wellness from a functional, integrative and spiritual perspective... She is a clinical pharmacist & functional medicine specialist, which means she has western medicine knowledge and training. But, she is also master attuned & trained, in both Usui and Angelic Reiki, Angel communication & intuitive channeling.
This audio has been scrubbed, noise reduced, and audio balanced. You can find the original at these websites:
Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/show/light-body-radio/episode/getting-real-about-the-potential-drawbacks-of-psychedelics-in-mental-health-treatment-203193423
Spotify:
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Light-Body-Radio/dp/B08K58TLTX
Apple:
Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/Light-Body-Radio-Podcast/B08K56X6KC
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“Truth is ever to be found in simplicity, and not in the multiplicity and confusion of things.”
— Isaac Newton,physicist and theologian
Confusion
Allan Ropper says, in his book Reaching Down the Rabbit Hole (2014): “An understanding of confusion has yet to be operationalized... It is not, technically, a disease, but a syndrome, a collection of problems.”
Confusion exists on an interesting spectrum. We have a rough idea of what it means to have no confusion and what it means to be entirely confused. But on closer inspection, a complete absence of confusion has much in common with being completely confused. The difference in the two extremes is somewhat subjective. It’s what you decide to be.
In this series, I’d like to contrast different kinds of confusion in order to clarify that we all are confused all the time. Insanity can bring confusion, but there is nothing insane about being confused.
I want to begin with a confusing concept in physics. At least I hope it will confuse you. In this way, I would like you to experience the intellectual confusion of a sane and well-balanced person, namely yourself. I would like to make the point that our minds have a particular way of isolating confusion so that we can cope with it.
Gravity
Dust
Time
Being
Space Looping
Time Looping
Free Will
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Daniel and I recorded this interview in February of 2022. Daniel Silk, a counselor and therapist in Melbourne, Australia, is an advocate for enlightened treatment in education and mental health.
Daniel’s website is https://lifechangesyou.com.au/
Of the interview, he says:
This was an educational chat for me with a really impressive person! Here is a link for you to subscribe to Lincoln’s blog and get a free download of Becoming Lucid, Self-Awareness in Sleeping & Waking Life: Hypnotic Practice in Lucidity & Dreams. The URL is: https://bit.ly/BecomingLucid-book (Note: You’ll need a digital book reader to open the files. Readers are free for all platforms.) I hope that you enjoy it !
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“When we wake up from our confused state of mind, that is enlightenment.”— Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche
Consider us to be architectural beings. There is a vision that begets a design, construction that creates a container, and a variety of living entities that consider us their home. The whole affair represents the experience of being. The quality of life for the entities depends on the success of the accommodation and the original design…
The container you create is the mental house that you inhabit. It can be pleasing and tastefully adorned, or it can be a total wreck on the verge of collapse. As your wide range of moods demonstrates, you are not particularly unified…
Home
Family
Creation
State
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“This world is the will to power—and nothing besides!”― Friedrich Nietzsche, The Will to Power
The word “empowerment” has gotten a bad name. It’s overused and undefined. What is the power that “empowerment” refers to?
Therapy presumes the therapist has the power you lack. Follow my directions, the solution will emerge, and you’ll have power. In coaching, the coach presumes you have the power but it’s latent. I will help you find it, but you’ll know where it is and you will bring it out.
Coaching looks for the power that therapy leaves on the table. Rather than freeing you from prejudice, suffering, or bondage, coaching supports achieving your goals. It’s behavioral therapy for those who don’t need therapy, sold to people entering, in, or retiring from work and relationships.
Empowerment
Having Power
Having Freedom
Balance
Stability
Ground
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“The sense-perceptible world is only part of what surrounds us…It is like a piece of ice floating on water—the ice consists of the same substanceas the surrounding water but stands out because of certain qualities it possesses.”— Rudolf Steiner, from Theosophie, p. 114
What is an alternate reality to you? Can you describe it? What is the purpose of describing it?
It’s odd we don’t spend more time considering this. I think it reflects a natural fear of losing control and awareness. We hope our investment in our current reality will pay off. In this there is an element of the “sunk cost fallacy.” We don’t want to lose contact with the reality in which we’ve invested so much.
Perception
Apperception
Attention
Awareness
Chemical Psychedelics
Be Prepared
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“You need to believe in things that aren’t true. How else can they become?”― Terry Pratchett, from Hogfather
Because most of our body’s operations are invisible to us, we presume the only effect we have on our body is through our intentional actions. We presume that we do not have control of what we don’t perceive and that our thoughts and mental images don’t affect our autonomic processes. This is the foundation of allopathic medicine. It is a reductive view of the body’s processes which claims our different systems regulate themselves independently…
Recovering from Covid confirms for me the role of focused intention in healing illness. Consider for yourself how you try to “feel better” when you’re ill. You try not to imagine yourself getting sicker but getting better.
How much more effective would you be if you had a deeper connection between your imagination and your disabled body?
Homeostasis
Returning To Normal
Finding Guidance
Teaching Myself
Breathing
Hypnosis
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There is an infection called Covid-19. It has variants. There are things like vaccines. You have a reasonably good chance of surviving the vaccines. You do not have a good chance of surviving the infection. I have not been “vaccinated” but I have contracted the infection and spent a week in Intensive Care.
My experience in the hospital was so frightening that I will now accept “the vaccination.” I doubt that it’s completely medically safe, and I recognize that the virus is a bioweapon. I recognize that the pandemic is a world war for which no one is taking responsibility. Are you going to make a political statement or are you going to take the greatest actions for the survival of yourself and your family?
Act now in deciding how to protect yourself. Expect everything you hear over public media to be a lie. This is not a pandemic, it is a war. You are a victim. Be proactive. Be informed. Recognize that everything that is of value to you will be taken from you if you do not protect yourself.
Truth
Theft
Much Ado About Nothing
Oxygen
Hydroxychloroquine
Ivermectin
Supplements
Of Higher Realities
“The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those that speak it.”— George Orwell
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“Covid is the social thought and conditioned response, including the rejection of it and the academic discussion around it. It’s all conditioned and predictable. It’s all feeding itself.”— James H., Founder, Collective Intelligence Group
People are frightened to admit they have sold off their right to think intelligently. For the most part, the population exercises neither natural nor artificial intelligence. They are “all conditioned and predictable.”
…
The emerging global structure has either realized or been drawn to the idea of constant warfare. This is what Orwell postulated in 1984: a constant war against a faceless enemy.
Intelligence
Covid-IQ
Hierarchy
Responsible Health Care
Illness and Illumination
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“Many highly intelligent people are poor thinkers. Many people of average intelligence are skilled thinkers. The power of a car is separate from the way the car is driven.”― Edward de Bono
The world changes depending on how you think about it.
You change depending on how you think.
Explore the landscape. See more clearly. Think flexibly.
Let’s explore alternatives.
Attitudes and GoalsSupport or IsolationFlexibilityStyles: Positive Negative Duality and Dichotomy Nonlinear Random Organic ChaoticYour Thinking Potential
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“The truth is that schools don’t really teach anything except how to obey orders.” ― John Taylor Gatto, two-time New York State Teacher-of-the-Year
Schools were invented to provide a mix of conditioning, training, and understanding. Conditioning has always been primary in state-mandated education, as this is a basis for collaboration and consensus…
In times of growth there are opportunities for understanding. In times of stability institutions harvest opportunities for themselves. In times when resources are limited and the environment stressed, the disruptive potential of new understanding is discouraged. This happens at the very time novelty and insight are needed, but organizations lack insight by their nature and see novelty as a threat…
The Lie in Learning
Skepticism
Education
Covid-19
School
Change
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“Enlightenment is ego’s ultimate disappointment.” — Chögyam Trungpa
I’m putting together a course on enlightenment. I think it’s funny, odd really. We hold the notion of enlightenment in such high esteem that we make no effort to achieve it. We don’t even know what we’re talking about. This is true even if you’re not motivated by the idea. Enlightenment is a sacred cow.
It’s an achievable goal. Whether you are well-defined or undefined, there are opportunities. Whether you’re active or passive, you’re engaging the world. Engaging is the skill of being aware and responsive. Enlightenment is a rather humble process.
Let me introduce the details of this course on Saturday, July 31 in a free, virtual meeting. The course will be offered online in the coming weeks.
Virtual Meeting: Intro to Instant Enlightenment Sat, July 31, 2021 — 11:00 AM to 12:30 PM PDT
The meeting is free, click to register at Eventbrite:
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“The sea drowns them out with its wide sounds, cleanses me with its noise, and imposes a rhythm upon everything in me that is bewildered and confused.” — Rainier Maria Rilke
This series on the origin of thoughts presents a constructive answer. I’m not sure why others are not answering this question, or why other approaches to understanding thought don’t provide us with more opportunity to ask the question. The topic does get complicated, but in this series I focus on the basic idea.
In this series I’ll sketch my theory of threshold awareness and what goes on beneath it. Subsequent installments will explore both normal and abnormal thought processes.
If you’d like to read, download, or print this piece then ...
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“Unexamined beliefs are not worth having.” — Socrates
Ways of Knowing
If empathy is something you can have or not have, then it’s either a skill or a trait. If it’s a skill, then you can develop it. If it’s a trait, then you can express it, unless you don’t have it in which case you might regain it or else it’s simply not available…
You can only empathize to the extent that you can recover and re-experience the emotions that comprise another person’s experience. And you can only do this if you can re-experience each of these emotions in yourself…
Thomas Ray proposes that the landscape of transcendent experience does not just have one peak, but several. These represent deeper insight into and experience of reality and human nature than are normally accessible to us…
“We tend to lose touch with the way we knew the world as children...”— Tom Ray
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The White Man’s Tongue
Empathy IV
In empathy there is a disruption, a branching of paths, a dissonance… An essential part of empathy is combining the feelings of similarity and difference. That’s where unpredictable things happen
Westerners hold out our hands to engage with the world, to be shepherds of our environment, and to build a sustainable culture, but our fists are closed. We can’t see things balanced because we’re imbalanced…
If we become more aware and detached, empathy and self-confidence can inform each other. If we can become more aware of what we lack in understanding others, we can see what we lack in ourselves.
In the stereotyped potboiler Western the Indian proclaims, “The White Man speaks with forked tongue.” I always wondered about this… there is something to it…
“It doesn’t require many words to speak the truth.”— Chief Joseph
Click here to read The White Man’s Tongue.
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Epigenetics & Opportunity
“You are the foods you consume AND the information that you digest.” — Tom Golway, chief technologist, Hewlett Packard
Your genes are not the whole story. Changes in how your genes work—independent from the genes themselves—are passed on through generations. This is the field of epigenetics.
The field is young. The discovery of inheritable traits that are not based on DNA throws out many of our conclusions about genetic inheritance. Changes in anything, especially things that affect your health, could be encoded in your body and inherited by your children.
Some aspects of who you make yourself to be are immortal.
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When the Hypnotic State is Normal
“Psychedelics open you up to the possibility that everything you know is wrong.” — Terence McKenna
Hypnosis refers to the part-by-part exploration of states. Therapeutic hypnosis is a facilitated exploration for the purpose of learning.
...
How can you discover a new concept in a realm constructed entirely of concepts that you already know? Everything you see you construct, so how do you see anything new?
...
People need help processing their experiences. They already do and who is helping them? Altered-state hypnotherapists like me can.
Consider how much further your state of being might advance with the experience of someone who knows the territory.
Lincoln Stoller, PhD, CHt
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Empathy III
This is the third in my series on empathy.
Sympathy is an intellectual concept. It’s based on a contrast of values. It leads to an opinion first and a feeling second. Sympathy may or may not trigger a feeling. A person who has no feelings at all can still sympathize with others...
What passes for intellectual empathy is not empathy at all, it’s simply a verbal means of communicating feeling, but if there is no feeling, then it’s just verbiage.
“If you made a sadist more empathic, it would just lead to a happier sadist.” — Paul Bloom
Click to Read "Empathy III"
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Sex and Emotion
We control the conscious mind with our thoughts. The unconscious mind rewards us with instant attraction, repulsion, and gratification. The subconscious mind reacts with a complex brew of memories that bathes us in associations. Sex, like a small number of other activities, involves all of these. I don’t think we really communicate on these topics.
We often refer to death and sex in counterpoint. I’m not sure why. Perhaps they seem to float at similar levels in our unconsciousness. One emerges as a hunger, the other as a fear. On the face of it, they don’t have much in common. I suggest it is because fear and lust are our biggest boundary issues.
“Sex is emotion in motion.” —Mae West
Click to Read "Sex and Emotion"
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Independent journalism is going to a subscription model. I’m moving this blog to a paid subscription model, charging $2.50/month... soon.
The current blog will become the free mailing list. Free posts will be broadcast monthly. I’ll go off the Evergreen model so that all subscribers will receive the same up-to-date issue with each broadcast.
COVID-19
Local hospitals are finally challenging government edicts against treating Covid-19. Refer to the written form of this post for links to current information about ivermectin.
The government vaccination program is working against individual health priorities. This undermining of government, science, and vaccination in general will incite anti-government, anti-science, and anti-vaccination movements. This is a combination of corporate thinking and government incompetence.
Read Subscription, Covid, & Impersonal Therapy.
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Empathy II
Emotional and intellectual intelligence are two aspects of a single human intelligence. They are not independent, but they can develop separately.
Emotion emerges from the integration of all that you know. Emotion represents an integrated, visceral experience of what you think. Similarly, what your eyes perceive, and what you think about what you see are complementary aspects of the same thing.
Accept that feeling is a form of intelligence. Accept empathy as being able to understand the feelings of others. Focus on the learning of empathy. We must learn to understand the feelings of others before we can communicate our feelings.
Start by freeing yourself from institutions. This is exactly counter to the institutional trend that we see in the world today. That is to be expected. Structures grow large and display their imbalance before they collapse.
“You can only understand people if you feel them in yourself.” —John Steinbeck
Click here to read Empathy II.
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Imagination
Psycho-somatic illness is: a form of insanity that bridges the separation between the mind and body. It’s an insanity where the delusion is expressed in the body but, if you try to think it away, the delusion inflames the mind...
Solving a mind-body problem requires a mind-body change, not a change in just one or the other. If you want a change in your somatic situation you must work toward psychological change as well. This is not just a change in patterns but a change in spirit. A fundamental change of character, but to this, the ego never agrees.
“I sense the need for a new kind of mind of individuals who are integrators, as distinct from the reductionists.” ― Jonas Salk
Click here to read "Imagination"
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“To know that you do not know is the best.” ― Lau Tzu
We’re told the DMN is a collection of pathways that govern our self-image, our autobiographical memories, and our deeply ingrained beliefs: the seat of the “ego” in the brain. Maybe it’s true, except that there is no neurobiological explanation for our self-image, our autobiographical memories, and our deeply ingrained beliefs....
I'm always amazed that anyone can speak other languages, especially bad ones like English. Speaking a language takes so much work and only achieves a moderate level of clarity... I am surprised we have not found some way to communicate better. Creating a better means of understanding beyond language is part of my work…
“If you do not change direction, then you may end up where you’re heading.” ― Lau Tsu
Click here to read Default Mode Network.
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We have many boundaries to what we see and feel. These boundaries are sensory, physical, and temporal. Boundaries of ideas, safety, and possibilities. You set boundaries in every dimension of which you’re aware, and aspects of experience that you once had but have now forgotten.
This is an introduction to the guided visualization "There and Back Again," a separate, hypnotic visualization audio file leading you toward the boundary of self.
“You step into the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to.” — Bilbo Baggins, from The Lord of the Rings
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There are three programs to better health: my program, your program, and the program—if one exists—that the mind-body needs. There is a certain skill of intuiting this alliance before any treatment begins, and I would say success depends on whether these three programs are aligned from the start.
“Don’t wish it were easier. Let it make you stronger.”— anonymous
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This piece explains that psychotherapy is a government institution, which medical historians already know but which escapes most people. A psychotherapist's first obligation is her profession, which is subservient to government, and not to you.
Therapy doesn't have to be this way. There is a client centered approach to mental health. It's called hypnotherapy and psychotherapy should aim to be more like it. Unfortunately, if you want to be treated as a person, you'll have to pay for it yourself.
People ascribe their obstacles to their minds; governments ascribe their obstacles to their citizens. To guide and support each other, people create community. To guide and support their communities, governments advance psychotherapy.
“Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.” ― Albert Einstein
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What Are Dreams? briefly explores dreams from neurological, somatic, therapeutic, and social perspectives. It's more important to recognize their multiplicity of purpose, than it is to focus exclusively on one.
Dreams are a holistic phenomena. Approaching them from psychology is—like any one approach to a many-faceted phenomena—another story of three blind men and an elephant. You’ve to get to a holographic view, a view in which the whole is not just more than but different from its parts.
If you'd like to learn more about dreams, visit mindstrengthbalance.com, where I offer books, posts, and classes on sleeping and dreams.
“Nothing contains more of your own work than your dreams! Nothing belongs to you so much!” ― Friedrich Nietzsche
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The keys to dream recall are gaining awareness of the dream while the dream is occurring, and applying a sufficiently quiet level of awareness so that your retrieval of the dream is not derailed by your thoughts. I want to focus on the second of these: learning to think quietly...
If you'd like to learn more about dreams, visit mindstrengthbalance.com, where I sell books, offer free posts, and periodically offer classes on sleeping and dreams.
“A busy mind is full of thoughts, a blissful mind is full of ideas… a conclusive mind cannot be a creative mind.”
― Amit Kalantri
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This piece addresses the role of dreams in creating our reality. Dreams are the laboratory where we can match our thoughts and feelings with our perception of reality. In our dreams, our more fundamental mental functions express themselves.
If you want to play a greater role in designing your life, you’ll have to develop skills that are above average. The fact that we’re talking about this means you have already elevated your vision. Vision is where growth starts and what keeps it going...
It may be correct to say that the first and last step in becoming a master craftsman of the mind is recognizing the fluid nature of reality. It is both a prerequisite for playing a constructive role in developing your identity, and a powerful tool for reshaping your dreams.
“Dreams are illustrations… from the book your soul is writing about you.”― Marsha Norman, playwright
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I’m now a therapist; I make it my business to enable and explain the process of transformation. I might say I was always a therapist except that I was my only client. I can now see the psychedelic experience in everyday life in the form of manufactured reality and disordered thinking. On that basis, I’m qualified to describe psychedelics as a normal part of life.
I know many people more experienced with psychedelics than I, but I can claim some insight. First, I’ve always been focused on my personal growth not entertainment, and while my progress has been slow, I’ve been careful. I’ve been at it for over 50 years.
"There is a groundswell of interest in the use of psychedelics for psychotherapy, and I really object to this. These are transformative medicines that are abused when their use is limited to psychology’s main goal of returning people to normal. I have this problem with psychologists in general: they are not trained and they are not selected to support change but rather to restrain it....
"One of psychedelic’s main purposes is to teach people that medicines are not necessary. In this, I take a very Buddhist stance: changes of mind are best achieved through mind alone. Psychedelics expand the mind, but they do so as a can opener. They can bust open a stuck lock, but the world that’s revealed is the real world, not a hallucination."
“After some time, with my eyes closed, I began to enjoy this wonderful play of colors and forms, which it really was a pleasure to observe.”
― Albert Hoffman, chemist and inventor of LSD
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When you take a psychedelic you are enlisting in a struggle that’s much larger than you can imagine. Depending on who you are and what you take you may find yourself well beyond anything you expect...
You may be responding to an advertisement that says you’ll visit paradise but, once the ship leaves shore, where it goes is not up to you. You will be sent where you are needed...
I’ve written a list of aspects of mind and character that can be approached as separate issues. These are piers on which we build our character. Like a foundation, each pier bears a separate weight...
Each of these aspects can play a role in the psychedelic experience. Each of them should be under your control. You can strengthen each of them through focus and exploration. Consider them as questions and spread the answers out in front of you like a hand of cards...
“Leaping into the beautiful sunrise sky, I am overwhelmed with feeling, and awaken with tears of joy.”― Steven LaBerge, lucid dream researcher
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Before moving into the practical territory of preparing for the use of a mind-expanding substance it would be worthwhile to consider what these substances do. I believe that they do just about anything.
Psychedelics can reframe your concept of reality. They can do this to a greater or lesser extent. They can challenge or disable you, or they can do nothing at all. Their potential is largely determined by what you allow yourself to experience, and what novelty you can manage to build into your understanding of the world...
Psychedelics are the parachute jump master that shouts you out the airplane’s door to the open sky. It’s your job to have your parachute packed and to take it from there. What they can do, then, is to show you a larger and older world. This can be a rite of passage or a waste of time.
“There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors of perception.”― Aldous Huxley
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It takes a lot of thinking to feel emotional about something. Even the simplest emotion, such as the startle reaction, requires knowing what you’re seeing...
You don’t really remember any “thing,” you build memories on demand to represent experiences you’ve stored away in some coded form. You may think you remember a red car on a dirt road or a friend’s face on a summer evening, but you really don’t...
Here is the crux of the matter: there is much that you are missing. There is much more that you could feel. How do you feel? By exploring the depth and breadth of your emotional repertoire. Can you expand your emotional repertoire? Yes, you can.
“You need to become fully conscious of your emotions and be able to feel them before you can feel that which lies beyond them.”― Eckhart Tolle
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What would you say is the most fundamental question? Would it be the origin of the universe, or the meaning of life? What about, “Does God exist?” or “Is there other intelligent life in the universe?”
I suggest there is a deeper question that underlies them all. I suggest the most fundamental question is, “How do we understand anything that we don’t already know?”
Defining the realm of answers brings us to the question of how we enlarge the realm of answers. This, in turn, returns us to the question of what we knew before, and how we add to that.
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”― Mae West
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Meaningful visions require both a transcendent perspective and the addition of your own meaningful ingredient. You have to bring something to add to the pot. If you don’t the pot just offers you visions of the transcendent without any way for you to place yourself in it.
A meaningful vision is one that comes back to us with impact. It has an energy, and we might even recognize a message. In my experience, meaningful visions are unique. They cannot be expressed as an idea, and they are not limited to an emotion.
“I connect the psychedelic dimension to the dimension of inspiration and dream.”― Terence McKenna
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My approach to trance work grew from my interest in having new experiences and my questions about learning. From this outline you may see how our views compare.
“No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.”― Friedrich Nietzsche
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Psychedelics are quickly becoming a new drug of promise, not for what psychedelics can do, but for what mental health practitioners want.
People want various things. Certainly, some do want healing, and some want entertainment, but some also want liberation from the normality that psychology aims to restore.
I support the renaissance in mind-altering drugs. They will help those people whose mental realities are stuck. Some of these people are labeled mentally ill, others are labeled psychologists, but most of these are just normal people.
“Most things in the world are hype. Most things in the world are oversold and under-delivered. But, in my experience, sex, music, and psychedelics deliver. They are actually ‘better than advertised.’ ” ― Terrace McKenna
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This is the last lecture in the course on brain frequencies in which I describe the importance of controlling your brain frequencies and how this affects your mind and health.
Understanding frequencies is the key to self-awareness. Consciousness begins with rhythm. When you learn to manage your rhythms, you become more conscious.
The brain frequencies course is free, prerecorded, and under 2 hours long. It’s available online at the neurofeedback page of mindstrengthbalance.com.
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Everything I know about insight, intellect, psychology, and the brain’s structure has little effect on how humans act to change the world. We still act the same way, we just do different things...
If I could change the patterns of my thoughts,I might change how I perceive the world. I don’t mean the kind of fluff that passes as “free will,” which I don’t much believe in, but rather how ideas come to me. I’m referring to the voices of insight, inclination, intuition, or similar guidance that precedes intellect, reason, and volition. I’m interested in learning as an abstract thing: the question of how we change when, left to ourselves, we can’t...
I want to talk about what’s going on beneath your thoughts and feelings. I believe you can operate there in an altered state of mind.
Here is a little equation relating our stimulation to our consciousness... Actually, it’s not a simple equation... This equation, and others of this sort, are the source of deterministic chaos, fractals, self-similarity, and phase transitions.
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We experience being self-aware almost all of our waking lives. Sometimes we space out, but even then we feel that we were present somewhere. Most likely you’re only here less than half the time...
We “tick” along. The ticks are rather brief, around a tenth of a second for most of our functions, and between these ticks we’re on automatic pilot...
Speed yourself up with amphetamines and your teeth will fall out. Expand your mind with hard drugs and you may be dead before you’re 40. There is an undeniable attraction to living more fully, and, for some people, whatever the cost, it's worth it.
For a written, illustrated version or to subscribe to the blog, visit the mindstrengthbalance.com website.
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Your awareness of the world around you is like the teeth of a gear. These teeth have a certain depth and frequency and you are aware of what meshes with them. Events of the world that are too small lack the power to turn your awareness, and events that fail to occur with the rhythm of these mental gears slip out of your consciousness, such as the roll of thunder and the chatter of birds....
I can teach you how to wake up, but is that what you want? It’s the way to fulfillment, but the path won’t be clear as you’ll see and feel more. Therapeutic dreaming is a process of waking up...
"It is extremely difficult to teach a person to see holistically once she has been educated to see sequentially."— Christopher Alexander, from The Nature of Order
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This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mindstrengthbalance.substack.com/subscribe
Everyone should understand brainwaves because attention is critical to all of our brain functions. What I can teach you about brainwaves is something you can use without therapy or formal training. You can incorporate an understanding of your brainwaves into your meditation, mindfulness, yoga, dreamwork, learning, or psychedelic practice.
I’m offering a free, online, video-based, mini-course on brainwaves. It consists of seven 10-minute videos interspersed with text and sprinkled with links to my related blog posts. Subscribe to my blog HERE, or through the brainwave course page at:
bit.ly/brainfrequencies
For a written, illustrated version or to subscribe to the blog, visit the mindstrengthbalance.com website.
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Imagine that you understood yourself as the network of thoughts. Different nodes of your map might represent different thoughts or points of view. They might represent different people. You might map your personalities as if they were other people, other people who you might be rather than the person you are.
Mind-space is something that emerges dynamically from the way thoughts build themselves. Without a theory of our mental network, psychology is sterile. With such a theory who knows how far you can go.
For a written, illustrated version or to subscribe to the blog, visit the mindstrengthbalance.com website.
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There is a big difference between doubting official knowledge and doubting knowledge that is justified because it claims to be official. People who have difficulty discerning the difference between these two statements will have difficulty recognizing reason from prejudice. Most people are poor critical thinkers.
Most people are poor critical thinkers and do not distinguish between what they’ve heard and what they say.
“In economics, the majority is always wrong.”― John Kenneth Galbraith, economist
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Everything about Christmas is shamanic; it’s a modern shamanic tradition.
Are you planning a trip over the holidays? The holidays are a trip. Everything is a trip. Everything you do or think is done from some state of mind, and all states exist in your imagination. The holidays set you free. Your foot is on the gas. Why not floor it?
I’ve written the following piece to help you get “in the spirit” of a shamanic Christmas. It’s a story and a journey and an ascent up the chimney. Its purpose is to redefine Santa Claus someone worth believing in.
CAUTION:Do not listen to this HYPNOTIC AUDIO while operating machinery or driving a car!
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There is nothing Christian about the original Christmas. “Christ Mass” is an obvious gloss, a graffiti, a theft. Sweep that away to reach the real intention. Go where you were traditionally supposed to go. Make something of Christmas.
This is the INTRODUCTION to Psychic Santa.
To listen to Psychic Santa, go to this separate podcast.
For a written, illustrated version or to subscribe to the blog, visit the mindstrengthbalance.com website.
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“Normal people have an incredible lack of empathy.” ― Temple Grandin
There’s a colloquial definition of empathy as feeling what other people feel. That might get you somewhere if you knew what other people feel, but how could you? And what is “feeling” anyway?
Empathy is the glue for collective action and the foundation for synergy. It coordinates cooperation and sharing. Without empathy there is no feeling of cooperation. There can be a reason and strategy for cooperation, but without the underlying motive such blueprints are not stable.
For a written, illustrated version or to subscribe to the blog, visit the mindstrengthbalance.com website.
This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mindstrengthbalance.substack.com/subscribe
Preparing for a psychedelic experience is preparing for disruption... You want to find in yourself the kind of flexibility that will enable you to become a larger person who is able to incorporate in yourself some of these energies when the experience is over.
Psychedelic experiences explore the components of your mind, and they offer the opportunity to rebuild, rearrange, or reinvent yourself. Whatever their origin, they are disruptive.
“The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.”—Michel de Montaigne
For a written, illustrated version or to subscribe to the blog, visit the mindstrengthbalance.com website.
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I've collected my pieces on COVID-19 into a book that follows the virus's public appearance, my experience with it, and its effect on science and government. Most of all, the book is a hypnotic learning tool to strengthen immunity and spirit.
Where does the virus fit in our ecology? What have we done to create this ecology, and what can we do about it?
This is the final chapter.
The rationalist in me would like to say that developing a sustainable ecology is a practical problem, but it's suspect not. It is a spiritual problem, as it certainly is for those who revere the earth. It certainly requires of people something more than a rational commitment. It is spiritual in the sense that spirit motivates action.
“Salvation is not a reward for the righteous, its is a gift for the guilty..” — Steve Lawson
For a written, illustrated version or to subscribe to the blog, visit the mindstrengthbalance.com website.
This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mindstrengthbalance.substack.com/subscribe
The reason your relationships suck, your home life is on the rocks, and your personal development is going nowhere is because you’re motivated, but you’re not inspired. Materialism is all about getting things done, hitting a target, achieving a goal, and gaining a reward. This is operant conditioning.
You have an inner voice. It will not argue with you. It will not compete for your attention. Your inner voice knows that without your compliance you will not act honestly and you will betray it.
The way you find your inspiration is to live alongside it and speak to it, speaking all that you feel. And, as with a horse whisperer, it’s not what you say that’s important, it’s what you mean.
“I insist on a lot of time being spent, almost every day, to just sit and think..” ― Warren Buffett
To read an illustrated version of Inspiration Over Motivation, visit my blog post here.
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There are thousands of independent experts whose authority is determined by the size of their mailing list...
This is good because it’s dynamic and creative, but it’s bad because it works against collective knowledge and a foundation of understanding...
What Gabor Maté is doing for psychology is getting a lot of people heading in a new direction. This is catalyzing change.
“If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there.” ― Lewis Carroll
Click here to read Understanding Psychology.
To read an illustrated version of Understanding Psychology that has the links to the book web pages, visit my blog post here.
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Becoming Supergenius
New books released. A free, digital copy for you.
I’m giving you free, digital copies of Becoming Supergenius, Part I: The Outer World.Download the ebook files from this Dropbox folder.
The Learning Project reflects the flaws and opportunities of our system. In this, those who struggle the most have the most to teach us. People don’t understand struggle is necessary for change.
I have a solution: take transformative insights out of their troublesome context and present them in an unavoidable form. Toward this end, I extracted the ineluctable truths from The LearningProject and created Becoming Supergenius.
It’s quite simple: ask deeper questions and find bigger answers. Few people will believe you, but that’s the way it always is. That’s why evolution is chaotic. Success is inventing what works for you and avoiding everything else.
FREE eBook Here!
To read an illustrated version of Becoming Supergenius that has the links to the book web pages, visit my blog post here.
This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mindstrengthbalance.substack.com/subscribe
Permission
“If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.” ― Jim Rohan —
As a therapist and psychonaut, I observe that while psychedelics permit you, they do not enable you. They open doors, but they don’t build the stairs. The stairs are experiences your mind, body, and spirit are ready to undertake.
…
The invitation will most likely appear uncomfortable. The transition will most likely be a crucible. I would like to tell you otherwise and, to some extent, I sell my services as a therapist on the basis that I will make the transition more comfortable.
Exploring what really changes in an unusual experience.
This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mindstrengthbalance.substack.com/subscribe
Everything about Christmas is shamanic; it’s a modern shamanic tradition.
Are you planning a trip over the holidays? The holidays are a trip. Everything is a trip. Everything you do or think is done from some state of mind, and all states exist in your imagination. The holidays set you free. Your foot is on the gas. Why not floor it?
I’ve written the following piece to help you get “in the spirit” of a shamanic Christmas. It’s a story and a journey and an ascent up the chimney. Its purpose is to redefine Santa Claus someone worth believing in.
CAUTION:Do not listen to this HYPNOTIC AUDIO while operating machinery or driving a car!
For an illustrated, printable version of the podcast go to the Articles page of my website at www.mindstrengthbalance.com,or click HERE.
This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mindstrengthbalance.substack.com/subscribe
“I insist on a lot of time being spent, almost every day, to just sit and think..” ― Warren Buffett
The reason your relationships suck, your home life is on the rocks, and your personal development is going nowhere is because you’re motivated, but you’re not inspired. Materialism is all about getting things done, hitting a target, achieving a goal, and gaining a reward. This is operant conditioning.
You have an inner voice. It will not argue with you. It will not compete for your attention. Your inner voice knows that without your compliance you will not act honestly and you will betray it.
The way you find your inspiration is to live alongside it and speak to it, speaking all that you feel. And, as with a horse whisperer, it’s not what you say that’s important, it’s what you mean.
To read an illustrated version of Inspiration Over Motivation, visit my blog post here.
This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mindstrengthbalance.substack.com/subscribe
Establish your expectations before preparing for a psychedelic experience.
“You can’t really know where you’re going until you know where you’ve been.” ― Maya Angelou
Recognize that to find greater potential in your life, you need to have a view of your world that allows for more. There are other ways of thinking within our own culture which we commonly denigrate, dismiss, or overlook. One of these commonly denigrated views is magical thinking.
The first step to progress in any issue we don’t understand is recognizing that we don’t understand. Rather than looking for solutions, because there won’t be any solutions, the key is re-envisioning the problem. In this, magical thinking can be illuminating because magical thinking is essentially emotional thinking.
What you need is not so much a goal but a connection with the values most important to you. You want to be unencumbered; carry only your most fundamental values and detach from what’s material. Don’t ask for resolution, pursue illumination.
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Sense of Self
We have many boundaries to what we see and feel. These boundaries are sensory, physical, and temporal. Boundaries of ideas, safety, and possibilities. You set boundaries in every dimension of which you're aware, and aspects of experience that you once had but have now forgotten.
This piece expands your sense of self. It asks you to consider the scope of your awareness, asking you to recall ideas, memories, and feelings larger than the stock image of yourself. Perhaps it's time to reconsider, to enlarge your boundaries. To grow in new ways.
There and Back Again explores your sense of time, space, and identity. The ideas in this visualization are considered further in the blog post Into The Road.
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