Calm AF: Recent Episodes
Kristen Finch: life coach
Calm AF is the podcast for people who are hard on themselves: the over-thinkers, people-pleasers, perfectionists, and over-achievers. Kristen Finch is a life coach who teaches you how to quiet the incessant negative chatter inside your head - and how to axe your anxiety - so you can manifest the life you are meant to live. Grab a coffee and join in, because today is the day you get Calm AF.
As we move forward, I want you to imagine how it feels to take everything we've learned from these 300 episodes and let it integrate within you. You don't need to carry the weight of constantly seeking more information. You are ready. You are equipped with all the tools and knowledge needed to move freely and lightly. Get ready for a big shift.
Tap here to subscribe and stay tuned.
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Mood swings. Brain fog. Isolation, procrastination, hopelessness, anxiety. And those are just a few (more) of the ways chronic dysregulation is fucking up your life.
Send me your questions here.
~ To inquire about working with me in 2024, click here.
Not yet a member of Calm AF Life?
~ Join here to pay in full
~ Join here for payment plan
~ Or if you have questions before joining, simply click here to set up a 30 minute call.
I spent more time than normal in a state of dysregulation last week – and holy hell, do I feel it. Here are 5 ways frequent or chronic dysregulation physically manifests in our bodies.
Send me your questions here.
~ To inquire about working with me in 2024, click here.
Not yet a member of Calm AF Life?
~ Join here to pay in full
~ Join here for payment plan
~ Or if you have questions before joining, simply click here to set up a 30 minute call.
Nothing changes without doing things that feel hard. Whether it’s setting a boundary, saying NO to someone, learning how to not let the fear of GUILT stop you from every freaking thing you want to try, or not letting the fear of other people’s opinions dictate how you live your life. So, you have a choice to make when it comes to creating the life you want: hard now, or hard forever?
~ Take the Nervous System Pattern Quiz here!
Not yet a member of Calm AF Life?
~ Join here to pay in full
~ Join here for payment plan
~ Or if you have questions before joining, simply click here to set up a 30 minute call.
~ To inquire about working with me in 2024, click here.
Life hands us “opportunities to grow” (yuck) when we least want them, when we feel least prepared for them, when we just don’t have room or time or energy for them. Here are 3 big lessons from this week’s unwanted “opportunity for growth.”
~ Take the Nervous System Pattern Quiz here!
Not yet a member of Calm AF Life?
~ Join here to pay in full
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~ Or if you have questions before joining, simply click here to set up a 30 minute call.
~ To inquire about working with me in 2024, click here.
I will go into the whole story but the MESSAGE for today is this: You ALWAYS have two choices when it comes to stressful situations. You can be PANICKED AF. ANXIOUS AF. AFRAID AF. OR Calm AF. In this episode I’m going to share with you why it’s ALWAYS worth it to choose calm AF.
~ Take the Nervous System Pattern Quiz here!
Not yet a member of Calm AF Life?
~ Join here to pay in full
~ Join here for payment plan
~ Or if you have questions before joining, simply click here to set up a 30 minute call.
~ To inquire about working with me in 2024, click here.
The second you embrace who you are, instead of telling yourself you can't feel better or calmer or free until your external circumstances change – the instant you realize that your happiness can ONLY come from you – you will feel better. Calmer. Free.
~ Take the Nervous System Pattern Quiz here!
Not yet a member of Calm AF Life?
~ Join here to pay in full
~ Join here for payment plan
~ Or if you have questions before joining, simply click here to set up a 30 minute call.
~ To inquire about working with me in 2024, click here.
Hoarding useful and helpful information is not moving the needle. It is only creating brain clutter.
~ Take the Nervous System Pattern Quiz here!
Not yet a member of Calm AF Life?
~ Join here to pay in full
~ Join here for payment plan
~ Or if you have questions before joining, simply click here to set up a 30 minute call.
~ To inquire about working with me in 2024, click here.
The golden rule of calm AF is Nervous System First because your life is curated based on the state of your nervous system. The state of your relationships, the state of your home, the state of your overall wellbeing is absolutely shaped by the state of your nervous system.
~ Take the Nervous System Pattern Quiz here!
Not yet a member of Calm AF Life?
~ Join here to pay in full
~ Join here for payment plan
~ Or if you have questions before joining, simply click here to set up a 30 minute call.
~ To inquire about working with me in 2024, click here.
You need to learn how to manage your OWN feelings of discomfort instead of thinking you have to manage everyone else’s. This is how you will take your power back.
~ Take the Nervous System Pattern Quiz here!
Not yet a member of Calm AF Life?
~ Join here to pay in full
~ Join here for payment plan
~ Or if you have questions before joining, simply click here to set up a 30 minute call.
~ To inquire about working with me in 2024, click here.
This episode is absolutely essential learning because until you have a different understanding of your own nervous system, you will always be chasing the next tool that might help you calm down.
~ Take the Nervous System Pattern Quiz here!
~ Access the FREE Nervous System Course here!
Not yet a member of Calm AF Life?
~ Join here to pay in full
~ Join here for payment plan
~ Or if you have questions before joining, simply click here to set up a 30 minute call.
~ To inquire about working with me in 2024, click here.
There are 3 main dysregulation patterns: Hypervigilance, hypovigilance and vacillators. This episode is all about Vacillators, of which I number. And if you didn’t take your quiz yet, to find out which pattern you use the most, check the show notes, take the quiz.
~ Take the Nervous System Pattern Quiz here!
Not yet a member of Calm AF Life?
~ Join here to pay in full
~ Join here for payment plan
~ Or if you have questions before joining, simply click here to set up a 30 minute call.
~ To inquire about working with me in 2024, click here.
There are 3 main dysregulation patterns: Hypervigilance, hypovigilance and vacillators. This episode is all about Hypervigilance. And if you didn’t take your quiz yet, to find out which pattern you use the most, check the show notes, take the quiz.
~ Take the Nervous System Pattern Quiz here!
Not yet a member of Calm AF Life?
~ Join here to pay in full
~ Join here for payment plan
~ Or if you have questions before joining, simply click here to set up a 30 minute call.
~ To inquire about working with me in 2024, click here.
There are 3 main dysregulation patterns: Hypervigilance, hypovigilance and vacillators. This episode is all about Hypervigilance. And if you didn’t take your quiz yet, to find out which pattern you use the most, take the Nervous System Pattern Quiz here!
Not yet a member of Calm AF Life?
~ Join here to pay in full
~ Join here for payment plan
~ Or if you have questions before joining, simply click here to set up a 30 minute call.
~ To inquire about working with me in 2024, click here.
To learn how to be and stay in calm AF energy, you have to get to know your internal dysregulation patterns. When you get to know your own nervous system and how you behave when you’re dysregulated, you can start taking control of your own energy (instead of feeling powerless to everything happening outside of you).
~ Take the Nervous System Pattern Quiz here!
Not yet a member of Calm AF Life?
~ Join here to pay in full
~ Join here for payment plan
~ Or if you have questions before joining, simply click here to set up a 30 minute call.
~ To inquire about working with me in 2024, click here.
Is the folk wisdom living rent-free in your head ACTUALLY serving you and making your life better? Probably not. Here's to playing now and working later.
To join the Calm AF Life waitlist, click here.
To inquire about working with me in 2024, click here.
If you’re not prioritizing FUN in your day-to-day, then you are missing out on major benefits to your health, relationships, career, and even your bank account.
To join the Calm AF Life waitlist, click here.
To inquire about working with me in 2024, click here.
I like to think of Leap Day as a bonus 24 hours and I think about it this way: if I were at the end of my life and I was gifted an extra 24 hours, how would I spend that day?
To join the Calm AF Life waitlist, click here.
To inquire about working with me in 2024, click here.
If you want to change anything, you've got to be willing to feel discomfort. Changing how you feel about your life, deciding to leave a toxic job or a toxic relationship, finding your forever person. Whatever it is, discomfort will accompany change. And if you want to feel better, calmer, happier, more content, more FREE...you have to choose growth over comfort. For a deeper dive, visit kristenfinch.com.
To join the Calm AF Life waitlist, click here.
To inquire about working with me in 2024, click here.
There are so many reasons why we all need to prioritize a healthy, loving relationship with ourselves. It makes life simpler. It makes you feel better. You have more confidence. You set and enforce boundaries easier. It’s easier to love other people. It’s easier to let other people love you. So, ignore the gimmicky, click-baity, product-pushing headlines about self-love and get busy truly loving on yourself.
To join the Calm AF Life waitlist, click here.
To inquire about working with me in 2024, click here.
Life hands us “opportunities to grow” (yuck) when we least want them, when we feel least prepared for them, when we just don’t have room or time or energy for them. Here’s to keeping what really matters in your mind, heart, and soul when these ass-ortunities come knocking.
To join the Calm AF Life waitlist, click here.
To inquire about working with me in 2024, click here.
When you’re in the middle of a thought spin out, your mind’s brakes are overridden by the nervous system. Here’s how to resume control.
To join the Calm AF Life waitlist, click here.
To inquire about working with me in 2024, click here.
Self trust, self belief, self acceptance, and self compassion will get you to the finish line of your goals WAY faster than self berating, self criticism, self sabotaging. So if your inner boss treats you like shit, it’s time to fire her and choose a more worthy leader.
To join the Calm AF Life waitlist, click here.
To inquire about working with me in 2024, click here.
My client Danielle shares how she has transformed from someone who prioritized everyone else before herself to someone who prioritizes herself, her goals, and her life. To get your ticket to the Calm AF Goals Workshop on January 14th (or to get the replay) click here.
To join the Calm AF Life waitlist, click here.
To inquire about working with me in 2024, click here.
My client Danielle shares her Calm AF journey in this delightful conversation! To get your ticket to the Calm AF Goals Workshop on January 14th (or to get the replay) click here.
To join the Calm AF Life waitlist, click here.
To inquire about working with me in 2024, click here.
If you SET goals like a f*ckin’ boss but struggle to ACHIEVE them, these 5 tips will change your life. To get your ticket to the Calm AF Goals Workshop on January 14th (or to get the replay) click here.
To join the Calm AF Life waitlist, click here.
To inquire about working with me in 2024, click here.
What I’ve found over the years is that this question: WHAT DO YOU WANT? is one of the hardest questions for women to answer. If you are not giving yourself permission to want what you want, these three obstacles are probably the reasons why.
Join my Future Self Course!
Interested in joining Calm AF Life? Tap here to join the waiting list.
Interested in working with me but not sure where to start? Tap here.
I could not be prouder of – or happier for – my clients who recently found themselves not only USING but totally benefitting from the Calm AF Life tools that they’ve been steadily and consistently adopting in our group and 1:1 coaching. And here’s the key: they are reaping major transformations through relentless commitment to the process.
Interested in joining Calm AF Life? Tap here to join the waiting list.
Interested in working with me but not sure where to start? Tap here.
WHY do we wait for a wake up call to feel ALIVE in our lives..to stop living a life in survival mode and start living our one life NOW. Today, I’m going to share with you the BIGGEST lies we are believing that are keeping us from reclaiming our lives from survival mode hell.
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Prefer a payment plan? I got you. Tap here.
Interested in working with me but not sure where to start? Tap here.
Thanks to neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to rewire neural connections, you can create any habit you want – especially with these 4 ingredients.
Interested in joining Calm AF Life? Tap here.
Prefer a payment plan? I got you. Tap here.
Interested in working with me but not sure where to start? Tap here.
Calm AF is an energy state where you know you are in control of your feelings, moods, and thoughts AND knowing you aren’t in control of other people’s. When you learn to be calm AF, you aren’t reliant on other people being in a good mood so you can be in a good mood. If you want to actually feel calm, ease, rest, joy, happiness that is dependent on nothing outside of you, you need to learn to be Calm AF.
Interested in joining Calm AF Life? Tap here.
Interested in working with me but not sure where to start? Tap here.
Vulnerability is not just a virtue; it's a lifeline. In the face of struggle, shame, and the overwhelming pressure to prove your worthiness, PLEASE choose vulnerability instead of choosing isolation. Instead of choosing to go it alone, find a person or a community that gets it.
Interested in joining Calm AF Life? Tap here.
Join me and other Calm AFers in Mexico! Tap here, spots are limited.
Interested in working with me but not sure where to start? Tap here.
Today I want to talk about the TOLL your people pleasing, perfectionism, energy managing, and overachieving behaviors are having on you. These are not so much character traits as they are your nervous system’s reactions to perceived dangers. And, because mind-body connection dictates that toxic thoughts are poison in the body, it’s important to unlearn these self-defeating habits - and master new ones.
Interested in joining Calm AF Life? Tap here.
Join me and other Calm AFers in Mexico! Tap here, spots are limited.
Interested in working with me but not sure where to start? Tap here.
Sometimes when you’re in a rut, you have to just be in it for a minute while you work your way out. But when you’re cycling through a toxic pattern that isn’t changing, you have to think about your future self and shake things up.
Join me and other Calm AFers in Mexico! Tap here, spots are limited.
Interested in joining Calm AF Life? Tap here.
Interested in working with me but not sure where to start? Tap here.
My ride-or-die, BFF, Feng Shui Genius Amanda Gibby Peters – who, unlike me, does not have raging ADHD – joins me for the second part of this conversation about using your neurodivergent skillset to conquer clutter and boost your home’s energy.
HELPFUL LINKS:
A Conversation About Clutter with Kristen Finch and Amanda Gibby Peters! RSVP here
Meet Amanda Gibby Peters and follow her on IG
Listen to House Therapy, the podcast by Amanda Gibby Peters on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere else
Buy Amanda’s book Simple Shui for Every Day: 365 Ways to Feng Shui Your Life
Check out our FUN podcast A Life Coach and Feng Shui Expert Walk Into a Bar…
Interested in working with me? Click here.
My ride-or-die, BFF, Feng Shui Genius Amanda Gibby Peters – who, unlike me, does not have raging ADHD – joins me for a conversation about using your neurodivergent skillset to conquer clutter and boost your home’s energy.
HELPFUL LINKS
A Conversation About Clutter with Kristen Finch and Amanda Gibby Peters! RSVP here
Meet Amanda Gibby Peters and follow her on IG
Listen to House Therapy, the podcast by Amanda Gibby Peters on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere else
Buy Amanda’s book Simple Shui for Every Day: 365 Ways to Feng Shui Your Life
Check out our FUN podcast A Life Coach and Feng Shui Expert Walk Into a Bar…
Interested in working with me? Click here.
Because life is short and precious, anytime we consider our future, things can start to feel urgent or even unattainable. Living with intention slows the clock so you can create the future you want.
🎉 SPECIAL FLASH BIRTHDAY SALE! 🎉
For 48 hours only, I am offering three of my favorite programs for 25% off:
- Opposite AF: the short course for neurodiverse couples (regular price $111)
- Becoming Your Future Self Workshop (regular price $199)
- AND for the very first time – The Calm AF Life Course. 7 modules and over 30 lessons teaching everything from understanding your nervous system to rewiring your thoughts. This includes a full printable course workbook and a daily alignment journal so you can keep up with your daily intentions. (regular price $799)
Interested in working with me? Click here.
The most important work I’ve done for myself over the years has been getting calm AF - which, as you now know, is not a permanent state of blissful serenity, but a willful insistence on protecting my own energy no matter what’s going on around me. Because matching someone’s bad energy is not helping me or them or anyone else, it’s just making things harder and worse.
Happy Now: Autism, Marriage, and The Journal of Best Practices
Ready for daily Calm AF reminders? Click here to get on the interest list.
Want to work with Kristen but you aren't sure the best way? Click here.
Today I want to talk about your diet. To be clear, I’m not talking about food or calories or restriction. I’m talking about the Calm AF diet. When you decide that you are going to take your life back, that you are going to prioritize YOUR well being over all other things…When you decide you are ready to let GO of old limiting beliefs, rewire doubts, take the charge away from your fears…Your NEW beliefs are vulnerable. They need constant protection. So you’ve GOT to be mindful and discerning about what you are taking IN and what you are putting out.
Ready for daily Calm AF reminders? Click here to get on the interest list.
Want to work with Kristen but you aren't sure the best way? Click here.
You don't procrastinate because you're lazy, weak, or lacking willpower. You procrastinate because of brain chemistry – neurotransmitters, specifically. Put on your glasses, grab your pocket protectors, and pull up those pants—we’re going to get nerdy today, Gorgeous Souls!
Ready for daily Calm AF reminders? Click here to get on the interest list.
Want to work with Kristen but you aren't sure the best way? Click here.
We forget sometimes that we aren’t anxious by default, we LEARNED anxious. You aren’t a people pleaser, you LEARNED people pleasing. You weren't born angry, you LEARNED anger. If being in a state of anxiety, shame, or resentment is a learned habit, that means being calm AF is also a learned habit.
Ready for daily Calm AF reminders? Click here to get on the interest list.
Want to work with Kristen but you aren't sure the best way? Click here.
Figuring out what, at the end of your life, will have made it a life well lived – and figuring out how to stay in pursuit of it – is what I’d teach my younger self.
Interested in daily reminders delivered to your inbox? Click here.
Want to work with Kristen? Click here.
I would go back as early as I could and start teaching my younger self the TRUTH about optimism: there is nothing wrong with CHOOSING to look at the bright side. There is nothing foolish about choosing to focus on the positive. In fact, choosing optimism is the path to resilience.
Want to work with me? Tap here to schedule a free consultation.
I would go back as early as I could and start teaching my younger self the TRUTH about feelings: they’re normal, they’re valid, and they’re to be felt.
Tap here to join me in Calm AF Life. Got questions about Calm AF Life? Tap here to schedule a free consultation with me.
If I could go back and tell my younger self something that would have saved me the MOST time – I mean years and years of struggling and repeating old patterns – it would be to focus on doing the foundational work of wellbeing before anything else.
Tap here to join me in Calm AF Life. Got questions about Calm AF Life? Tap here to schedule a free consultation with me.
Even when you’ve prepared, plotted, and planned. Even when you wake up KNOWING that today is the day for big magic. Sometimes shit goes off the rails. The dots don’t connect, the plans unravel, the magic vaporizes. It sucks. And it’s okay.
Lifetime access to my flagship coaching program Calm AF Life will be ending later this year. If you want to enjoy all of the content, calls, and coaching for life, tap here to sign up!
Not sure if Calm AF Life is right for you? Schedule a free consult with me and we will discuss it.
There are SO many unwritten, arbitrary not-really-rules rules that are keeping people from their happiness. What “rules” could you question? Which ones would you rewrite?
AND! Lifetime access to my flagship coaching program Calm AF Life will be ending later this year. If you want to enjoy all of the content, calls, and coaching for life, tap here to sign up!
Not sure if Calm AF Life is right for you? Schedule a free consult with me and we can discuss it. Xoxo Kristen
Don’t wait until your wake up call. Live the TRUE life you are here to live - not the one you think you’re supposed to be living. To book your free consult with me, tap here: https://kristenfinch.as.me/freeconsult
Nothing changes without doing things that feel hard. Whether it’s setting a boundary, saying NO to someone, learning how to not let the fear of GUILT stop you from every freaking thing you want to try, or not letting the fear of other people’s opinions dictate how you live your life. So, you have a choice to make when it comes to creating the life you want: hard now, or hard forever?
Helpful Links:
Calm AF Life: The Lifetime Coaching Program
Opposite AF: The online course for neurodiverse relationships
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube
Most of us are starving for real, authentic connections and deep conversations but we prevent these by telling ourselves that we don’t belong. If this is you, this episode will help you to drop that habit and start living like you belong -- because you do!
Helpful Links:
Calm AF Life: The Lifetime Coaching Program
Opposite AF: The online course for neurodiverse relationships
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube
Being permanently calm AF is about creating the life that you love - making your life your favorite story. Getting there takes an integrated approach comprising three essential components of wellness: physical, mental, and energetic.
Helpful Links:
Calm AF Life: The Lifetime Coaching Program
Opposite AF: The online course for neurodiverse relationships
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube
Dave joins me this week to share his thoughts on how we were able to recover our bestfriendship and build a happy AF marriage after he was diagnosed with Asperger’s, an autism spectrum condition.
Helpful Links:
Opposite AF: The online course for neurodiverse relationships
Happy Now: Marriage, Autism, and The Journal of Best Practices
Dave’s book!
Calm AF Life: The Lifetime Coaching Program
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube
Dave joins me this week to share his thoughts on how we were able to recover our bestfriendship and build a happier marriage after he was diagnosed with Asperger’s, an autism spectrum condition.
Helpful Links:
Opposite AF: The online course for neurodiverse relationships
Happy Now: Marriage, Autism, and The Journal of Best Practices
Dave’s book!
Calm AF Life: The Lifetime Coaching Program
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube
The only way to live fully, to be able to connect with LOVE and JOY, is to make room for pain and hard moments.
Helpful Links:
The Calm AF Future Self Course and Workshop
Calm AF Life: The Lifetime Coaching Program
Opposite AF: The online course for neurodiverse relationships
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube
“Acceptance Speech after Setting the World Record in Goosebumps” by Andrea Gibson
Like a caterpillar’s metamorphosis, becoming your future self requires an identity shift. Here’s a little about how to un-become, so you can become.
Sign up for the Calm AF Future Self Course and Workshop: https://kristen-finch.mykajabi.com/offers/Lencwohs
Calm AF Life – my lifetime program – is online now! Tap here to join.
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff!
If you want to become your Future Self, you can’t just HOPE, you can’t just set a couple goals and sporadically think about them. To become your Future Self you have to change the habits of your Current Self. Here are 5 CALM AF steps to take.
IMPORTANT LINKS:
- Sign up for the Calm AF Future Self Course and Workshop
- Dave’s bestselling neurodiverse marriage book The Journal of Best Practices!
- Calm AF Life – my lifetime program – is online now! Tap here to join.
- Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
- Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff!
We all need a good pep talk from time to time, and here’s yours for this week. It’s about nurturing your own well-being, on embracing your strengths and imperfections, and on practicing self-compassion.
Tap here for the quiz: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/62892818eac9eb00184a8a52
Calm AF Life – my lifetime program – is online now! Tap here to join.
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff!
Old habits kill new mindsets. Today I’ll share with you the #1 thing you are doing that is keeping your from becoming your future self. The #1 mistake you are making when it comes to transforming one of more areas of your life. The #1 ERROR you are making when manifesting the life you WANT. AND what to do about it.
Get the 20 Empowered Questions download here.
Calm AF Life – my lifetime program – is online now! Tap here to join.
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff!
Approval addiction is the result of seeking other people’s opinions to determine your own self-worth. Just like any substance addiction, approval addiction is terribly self-limiting and comes at a hefty cost. Today, I offer some guidance towards recovery as a fellow – recovering – approval addict.
AND!
Calm AF Life – my lifetime program – is online now! Tap here to join.
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff!
Your words matter. When you use empowered words, you strengthen neural pathways that become the automatic path to empowered actions. You’ve got to start choosing your words mindfully. Let’s talk HOW.
AND!
Calm AF Life – my lifetime program – is online now! Tap here to join.
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff!
To change any habit, you must be consistent in your effort - everyone knows this. What people don’t tell you is that consistent-ish is far more viable. If you want inner peace, if you want to feel more CALM in your life, you need to be relentlessly committed AND consistent-ish.
AND!
Calm AF Life – my lifetime program – is online now! Tap here to join.
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff!
Calm AF Life – my lifetime program – is online now! Tap here to join.
If you want to create something new, you need to align your current daily habits with your future self’s daily habits – which means dropping these bad ones.
AND!
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff!
Calm AF Life – my lifetime program – is online now! Tap here to join.
When you try to race too fast towards your Future Self, you don’t give your identity a chance to catch up - so take that manifesting slow and steady, baby.
AND!
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff!
Calm AF Life – my lifetime program – is online now! Tap here to join.
Here’s something that I hear a lot: “I know the things I should be doing, Kristen. I’m just not doing them.” So let’s look at why that is. If you want to create something extraordinary, remember: what matters the MOST is how you show up in your day-to-day life. If you’re not showing up for your future self every day, then you’re not doing the things you know you should be doing.
AND!
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff!
Calm AF Life – my lifetime program – is online now! Tap here to join.
In Part 3 of the Calm AF decluttering series, we are talking about emotional clutter. Emotions are energy that’s created and stored inside your body, energy that physically interacts with your chemistry, your organs, your cells – best to keep emotional clutter to a minimum. In fact, if you are tending to physical and mental clutter without managing your emotional clutter, then you’re really only surface-cleaning.
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff!
Calm AF Life – my lifetime program – is online now! Tap here to join.
In Part 2 of the Calm AF decluttering series, we are talking about mental clutter. Most people don’t think about clutter being something that accumulates in the mind. But we think thousands of thoughts every day, and not all those thoughts serve us. In this episode, I give you actions that you can do on your own to get the mental decluttering ball rolling.
AND:
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff!
Calm AF Life – my lifetime program – is online now! Tap here to join.
The physical clutter in your living and working spaces is impacting your energy; the calm AF approach to decluttering is an act of self love. It’s a thing you do FOR yourself because of how it makes you feel, because you deserve to feel SUPPORTED, because – while the tidiness of your house has NOTHING to do with your worthiness – it sure feels good to have a nice space to relax in. In this episode, I give you the three steps to decluttering the Calm AF way.
AND:
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff!
Calm AF Life – my lifetime program – is online now! Tap here to join.
Curiosity lightens EVERYTHING up because it isn’t looking for ONE definitive RIGHT answer. Curiosity is all about wonder. Curiosity is playfully looking for options. Curiosity is going to help you reconnect with who you really are, what you like, what you don’t like, what you want, what you don’t want. So you gotta put on your curiosity glasses. Put those sparkly lenses on and look around at all the things and just ASK QUESTIONS.
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff!
Calm AF Life – my lifetime program – is online now! Tap here to join.
Let’s talk about thought spin-outs. This is when one anxious fear thought shows up, and before you can grab the thought to manage it, it’s already spun off to another thought – and another thought and another thought. Thought spinouts feel like anxiety, they feel out of control.
Most of the time in a spin out, the thoughts are fast and furious. They feel very very urgent and very very true and your sympathetic nervous system is like “looks like we’ve got a major emergency happening….let’s shut off all the higher level thinking and just survive here.”
Once that sympathetic nervous system is activated, the thoughts aren’t in your control. Not until your body signals that the emergency is over. Today, I’m sharing how to regain control in the middle of a spin-out and stay calm AF.
And...
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff!
Calm AF Life – my lifetime program – is online now! Tap here to join.
I hear it all the time: “I get the concept of self love...it just feels hard.”
Of COURSE it does. You were born into and have bought into a society that persistently teaches you that you aren’t enough. You have been taught since childhood that getting the approval of others is what decided whether you were worthy. And you have been taught that other people’s opinions matter more than yours.
Of COURSE it feels hard...it’s like learning a brand new language. The good news is...if you can learn a new language you can learn self love. The trick is baby steps:
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Acceptance of what IS
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Self LIKE and/or appreciation
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Self love
It IS possible. You can like yourself and your life.
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff!
No matter what adulthood looks like for you, JOY is still inside of you. You do not have to learn how to feel joy, you just have to remember how to access it again. So, how DO you reconnect with who you really are, find activities that reconnect you to your JOY as an adult? That’s what today’s episode is all about.
Calm AF Life – my lifetime program – is online now! Tap here to join.
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff!
In your work of getting aligned with your calm AF self (your future self), you will inevitably revisit old stories. Stay on track by focusing on what’s working.
Calm AF Life – my lifetime program – is online now! Tap here to join.
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff!
In order to create your calm AF life, you are going to have to do very hard things. Scary? Yes. Worth it? 1,000,000 percent. Here are three ways my clients and friends set themselves up for success when it’s time to do the hard thing.
And.
Calm AF Life – my lifetime program – is online now! Tap here to join.
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff!
“Stuck” can be a nasty habit to break. It’s time to stop fighting for that habit you DON’T want and start allowing what you DO want.
Calm AF Life – my lifetime program – is online now! Tap here to join.
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff!
Nothing changes without doing things that feel hard. Whether it’s setting a boundary, saying NO to someone, learning how to not let the fear of GUILT stop you from every freaking thing you want to try, or not letting the fear of other people’s opinions dictate how you live your life. So, you have a choice to make when it comes to creating the life you want: hard now, or hard forever?
Calm AF Life – my lifetime program – is online now! Tap here to join.
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff!
Changes happen with radical self-acceptance: embracing who you ARE, instead of pushing and exhausting yourself striving to be something different. Aligning with how you WANT to feel creates the change you want – NOT without effort, but without RESISTANCE, without giving up on yourself, without exhaustion.
Calm AF Life – my lifetime program – is online now! Tap here to join.
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff!
The best goals to set are the ones that you can achieve and which support your Future Self. Here are the inspired actions to take to manifest them:
- Acknowledge what’s already working
- Evaluate where you are now
- Decide how you WANT to feel
- Create alignment banks
- Choose one or two feeling states to focus on
Want to go deeper? Calm AF Life – my lifetime program – is online now! Tap here to join.
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff!
Being hard on yourself makes manifesting your goals hard – if not impossible. And the inverse is also true: goals grounded in self-kindness, worthiness, and calm AF energy almost – almost – manifest themselves.
In today’s episode, part 8 of the Calm AF Life series, I’m sharing the method that I personally use to set, work towards, and achieve my own goals. Whatever you set out to achieve in 2023 – fitness, nutrition, relationships, finance, career – the Calm AF method for realizing your goals is the way to actually ENJOY your life and FEEL GOOD while you’re manifesting. And doesn't that sound so much better than brow-beating yourself?
What are Calm AF goals? They are goals created from your soul, not your brain. Calm AF goals are about feelings, not actions. And Calm AF goals are informed by your Future Self, not your past or present.
Calm AF Life – my lifetime program – is online now! Tap here to join.
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff!
You can’t create your Future Self by thinking the same way as your current self; it requires aligning with your Future Self. So, before you set any goals, before you make decisions, before you set an intention for the day, you want to align with your Future Self and find out what THEY have to say about it. Today I’m sharing the simple 3-step exercise that helps you access your Future Self today so you can enjoy being her tomorrow.
Calm AF Life – my lifetime program – is enrolling now! Tap here to join.
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff
Once you commit to your calm AF Future Self, you soon realize that you will always be on the path to your Future Self. Not because your Future Self is always out of reach, but because once you arrive at your Future Self, you realize there’s more growing, more learning, more experiencing, more wisdom, more life ahead of you. It’s a path with countless new beginnings – but it doesn’t have to be arduous or exhausting. That’s why it is so vitally important to determine the most sustainable path forward.
Calm AF Life – my lifetime program – is enrolling now! Tap here to join.
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff!
In part 5 of Calm AF Life, I want to dive into your energy. Mastering your energy is the most powerful skill you can learn. So, let’s talk about what energy is (spoiler: it’s everything) and how to start owning yours, regardless of what’s going on outside of you.
Calm AF Life – my lifetime program – is enrolling now! Tap here to join.
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff!
Calm AF Life Launches TODAY!!! Tap here to join.
Calm AF Life is my lifetime coaching program that will get you OUT of your head, help you STOP worrying about the things that won’t ultimately matter, and bring you back INTO your life. Joining Calm AF Life gives you lifetime access to the entire immersive course, including videos, classes, coaching, and other content. Calm AF Life lessons are designed to give you in-depth, self-led instruction on all 3 of the components necessary to create a solid foundation for your growth: the mental component, the physical component, and the energetic component. In addition, you’ll enjoy lifetime membership in the accountability community, designed to keep you aligned with your calm AF self while cheering for others along their journey.
My client, Courtney, is a beaming example of the changes you can create when you align with - and consistently show up for - your calm AF self. She joins me to talk about her relentless journey, showing up for herself on the daily, and laying claim to a miracle pond in Iowa. Get comfy, gorgeous soul. It’s time for a Calm AF Coaching Sesh!
Calm AF Life – my lifetime program – launches in January. Tap here to join the interest list to learn more!
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff: https://www.youtube.com/calmafpodcast
So here’s the thing about rewiring thoughts: It is possible for almost EVERY human. Not only is it possible, but it’s exactly what the brain does IF AND WHEN we don’t let other thoughts get in the way. There is a very specific, proven process to making this happen and today, I am going to teach you the rewire process: the proven steps of actually rewiring your thoughts. For good, for real, for life.
Calm AF Life – my lifetime program – launches in January. Tap here to join the interest list to learn more!
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is always live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff: https://www.youtube.com/calmafpodcast
Feeling your feelings is the next pillar of calm AF life, and to learn more about this, we are going to spend time in our bodies. Because that’s where our feelings live – not in our minds, not in our thoughts, but in our physical bodies.
If you want anything to change in your life for good, you’ve GOT to become skilled in the art of feeling your feelings. Lemme say it again: The ONLY way to create a life you want, to change things that don’t represent who you are becoming, to create new patterns that feel aligned with your future self, to manifest the things you want to manifest is to FEEEEEEL your feelings.
Unfortunately 99% of us don’t know how to do this. We’ve all been taught to fix feelings, both our own and those of others. So, let’s talk about it.
STARTING TODAY: My lifetime program, Calm AF Life, launches in January and you can get on the early list to learn more. Tap here to join the interest list!
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff: https://www.youtube.com/calmafpodcast
Whether you realize it or not, you curate your entire life around the state of your nervous system. Your nervous system is always the first point of contact with anything and everything. Your nervous system creates stories that feel VITALLY important to believe, rules that feel CRUCIAL to hyper vigilantly follow, and beliefs that feel necessary for survival.
The first step in creating sustainable Calm AF energy is learning how to regulate your nervous system. When it’s dysregulated, all bets are off.
Listen to this second installment of the Calm AF Forever series, which is all about putting your nervous system first, and for a deeper dive into the mechanics of the nervous system, download my FREE 25-minute course here: https://kristen-finch.mykajabi.com/offers/ihVYFbz5
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff:https://www.youtube.com/calmafpodcast
Being permanently calm AF is about creating the life that you love - making your life your favorite story. Getting there takes an integrated approach comprising three essential components of wellness: physical, mental, and energetic.
I’m going to break them down today, and then for the next 9 weeks I’ll go deeper into each of them.
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff:https://www.youtube.com/calmafpodcast
If you want to make big changes that last, you have to do the deeper self work – the stuff below the surface. Nothing in your life will change until you go deeper and uproot your old limiting beliefs about self-worth and plant new seeds that serve you.
Here are three questions to ask yourself at the beginning of this important work:
- WHY do I believe this thought about myself? Where did it come from? When did I learn it?
- What would be different about my life if this seed was never planted in my subconscious? For example, if I NEVER had the thought “I am a person who never follows through?” What would be different?
- What would change if I uprooted this belief? How would that affect my future self?
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff:https://www.youtube.com/calmafpodcast
So. What the F is Calm AF? And how is it different from regular old calmness? Calm is a feeling. Calm AF is a way of being. It’s an energy. When I talk about becoming calm AF I am not talking about walking around in some Zen blissed out state where nothing bothers you, man, and everything’s fine. Nope, that’s not it.
I am calm AF, but I’m not always calm. You can ask my family, I can be calm AF and angry. I can be calm AF and sad. I can be calm AF and ambitious, and I can be calm AF and calm. Calm AF is a knowing. It’s a deep knowing in your bones that who you are is enough. That who you are is not a problem. That who you are is not broken. Despite what you’ve accidentally trained yourself to believe.
In this foundational episode, you will learn that:
- Calm is a feeling. Calm AF is a way of being
- Calm AF isn’t a new thing to learn because it’s already there, wired into you
- Becoming calm AF is a return to trusting yourself, believing in yourself, and loving yourself deeply
Grab some coffee and give it a listen. You got this. And I got you.
The final offering of Rewired AF starts in October! Rewired AF will not be offered in 2023, so if have been on the fence…now’s the time! Set up your call with me and let’s see if it’s a fit! https://kristenfinch.as.me/rewiredAF
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff: https://www.youtube.com/calmafpodcast
Investing in your Future Self means saying YES to effort, energy, discomfort, and sometimes even costs. And investing in your Future Self is ALWAYS worth it. Best of all, it doesn’t always have to mean saying yes to big things, like concerts or camping trips or college courses. You can fill your tank by saying yes to a walk, a phone call with a friend, a nap.
What matters the most? At the end of your life WHAT will be the things that you will be SO glad you said yes to?
And, if you’re feeling antsy in this space between where you are now and your Future Self, I got you. Check out episode 201: https://kristenfinch.com/feeling-antsy-in-the-gap/
The final offering of Rewired AF starts in October! Rewired AF will not be offered in 2023, so if have been on the fence…now’s the time! Set up your call with me and let’s see if it’s a fit! https://kristenfinch.as.me/rewiredAF
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff: https://www.youtube.com/calmafpodcast
Every single week, all week long, I talk to the MOST powerful women, women who could absolutely dominate, take over the freaking world, but who spend all their time and energy trying to silence their self-doubt. These women avoid taking steps to dominate, to step into their power, to apply for the executive role, for ONE reason: because they don’t BELIEVE in themselves.
F THAT.
When you feel yourself doubting your abilities, readiness, or worthiness, there are 3 mindset shifts you can employ to replace self doubt with self belief:
- Stop relying on evidence of your worthiness.
- Stop being afraid of getting your hopes up.
- Stop making everything such a big deal.
Let’s get into it, shall we?
AND. The final offering of Rewired AF starts in October! Rewired AF will not be offered in 2023, so if have been on the fence…now’s the time! Set up your call with me and let’s see if it’s a fit! https://kristenfinch.as.me/rewiredAF
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff: https://www.youtube.com/calmafpodcast
If we think of the brain like an organic computer, then the quality of your life is only as good as the thought-ware you install.
When you were born, your mind was a clean slate, running a simple emotional and physiological operating system. Its job was to keep you alive and get your needs met. As you got older, the adults in your life installed and started running their own mental “software” – or, thought-ware – onto your operating system. Then you got older still, and began installing your own thought-ware which you habitually run depending on what you’re trying to do in life. Trying to fit in? Launch the “Mimic Others” program! Trying to get attention? Run the “Pout and Storm Off” application!
And just like in actual computers running electronic software, your thought-ware eventually becomes old and obsolete. It no longer serves you. Your operating system has evolved, and so must your thought-ware. If you are an organic machine with a natural computer at the helm, the only way to get the machine to produce/create/manifest what you want is to run the thought-ware which makes that happen. Which inevitably means uninstalling the old applications (UNLEARNING old thoughts), downloading new thought patterns that serve you better (LEARNING new ones), and running those applications all the time until your operating system can run them with maximum efficiency (REWIRING).
You don’t have to be into computers – lord knows I’m not!!!! – to get this message. Just grab a coffee and listen up, Gorgeous Soul! We’re updating your thought-ware.
AND. The final offering of Rewired AF starts in October! Rewired AF will not be offered in 2023, so if have been on the fence…now’s the time! Set up your call with me and let’s see if it’s a fit! https://kristenfinch.as.me/rewiredAF
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is now live and available to all! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff: https://www.youtube.com/calmafpodcast
Rewired AF starts in October! Get on the list: https://kristenfinch.com/rewiredaf
If you want to create a life that feels better, that feels lighter, that feels less heavy, you’ve GOT to increase your baseline energy. For all the chatter about manifesting this and that, what truly matters is the energy we bring to the work of creating and living – the energy that we choose as our baseline. Higher vibes lift us up, lower ones take us down.
Now, we don’t boost our baseline energy by struggling or trying so hard or doing the most or doing it best. We do it by allowing. It’s that simple. For me, it is easy to raise my vibration when I put myself in high-vibe situations: celebrations, concerts, nature. BUT. I can’t spend all my time attending celebrations, going to concerts, or communing with nature. So, the other way I’m able to boost my baseline is to live grounded in what my soul knows matters: love, natural joy, connection. And I can do that almost anywhere, almost anytime.
Like anything achievable, it takes a little practice. The more time you spend feeling connected to those energies of love and joy, the more familiar they will be, and your baseline will shift.
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, starts...this month! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff: https://www.youtube.com/calmafpodcast
Let’s address some myths and misconceptions about your Future Self – who she is, who she isn’t, and what it means to become her. Your future self is not a far-fetched version of you that you have to TURN into. It’s you now, just without the limiting beliefs and bullshit stories you’re carrying around. And you don’t become her AFTER your journey, you realize you ARE her DURING it.
Grab a coffee, and let’s get acquainted with our REAL future selves.
Rewired AF starts in October! Get on the list: https://kristenfinch.com/rewiredaf
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, starts...this month! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff: https://www.youtube.com/calmafpodcast
You can STAY relentlessly committed to creating the life you want, manifesting your intentions, achieving your dreams WITHOUT exhausting yourself. Here’s how, in 5 proven steps.
EARLY BIRD registrations for Rewired AF are available now! Get on the list: https://kristenfinch.com/rewiredaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff: https://www.youtube.com/calmafpodcast
Opposite AF, the online shortcourse for neurodiverse couples, is available at https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
If you want to become your true Future Self, you MUST be relentlessly committed to the things that matter. Because it won’t happen overnight, it won’t happen without failures, and it won’t happen the way you think it will.
Personally speaking, when it comes to MY one precious life, when it comes to being ALIVE in my life instead of surviving my life…absolutely relentless. Once I realized this about myself, I started thinking about all the other areas of my life that I’ve experienced transformation in.
The key was being relentlessly committed to the things that REALLY mattered.
I didn’t want to be in a marriage where I groaned every time my husband came home from work. I want to be HAPPY when I hear that garage door open. If I’m gonna be with this person ALL the time, I want it to feel like I GET to have a forever sleepover. So, I worked relentlessly on the things I needed to work on.
It MATTERED to me to create a home that felt nurturing and calm. So I relentlessly committed to decluttering and cleaning EVEN when it felt like it was taking forever and I had two very little kiddos and approximately 20 minutes a day to work on it.
Deep friendship connections MATTERED to me. Being part of a community of powerful women mattered to me, so I relentlessly pursued it – albeit in a non-creepy way.
I had big audacious goals for my coaching business because it MATTERS to me that more women learn how to be empowered, set boundaries, stop people pleasing and energy managing so they LOVE their life so I relentlessly committed to creating this. It took me FIVE YEARS to really gain any traction but I never stopped. I stopped TONS of projects, tons of hobbies, tons of special interests. But I never stopped my coaching trajectory.
If you want to become your Future Self, manifest a life you love, you MUST be relentlessly committed because it’s NOT going to happen overnight, it’s NOT going to happen without LOTS of failures and it’s NOT going to happen the way you think it will.
Today I’m going to share with you the most COMMON obstacles that take us off the relentlessly committed path. Because your relentless self is in there, and her path is waiting.
AND.
Rewired AF starts in October! Get on the list: https://kristenfinch.com/rewiredaf
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, is available now! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW3GBpWPPwcs36oYBgBVkow
Anger, when it disguises fear, is an unsafe feeling. But clean anger, calm AF anger, feels safe and in control. It is empowering and guides us to rational action.
AND.
Rewired AF starts in October! Get on the list: https://kristenfinch.com/rewiredaf
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, starts...this month! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW3GBpWPPwcs36oYBgBVkow
Dave, my husband and Calm AF podcast producer extraordinaire, has learned recently that, "When you are so bold as to be true to yourself, you step fully into your power." Gorgeous souls, check out where he learned this. I love it.
AND.
Rewired AF starts in October! Get on the list: https://kristenfinch.com/rewiredaf
Opposite AF, our online course for neurodiverse relationships, starts...this month! Join us! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube to get even more good stuff: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW3GBpWPPwcs36oYBgBVkow
The gap that exists between where you are now and where you’re headed can feel excruciating and make you feel super antsy. THE WORST. Your brain, no matter how smart you are, cannot figure your way out of this gap. Because the human brain is designed to make sense of what it has experienced. If your future self is someone doing things you haven’t tried before, then the best you can do is settled into the gap until your transformation reveals itself.
Opposite AF is enrolling now! Join here: https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Rewired AF kicks off again this October! Join the wait-list here: https://kristenfinch.com/rewiredaf
Calm AF with Kristen Finch YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW3GBpWPPwcs36oYBgBVkow
This is Calm AF’s 200th episode! I truly think that Calm AF was a universal energetic idea floating around looking for someone to grab it and manifest it. And I got to be the one who did. I am so, so, so grateful.
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Screenshot your review on Apple Podcasts and send to support@kristenfinch.com for a chance to win a CALM AF SWAG BAG.
Sign up for Opposite AF, my relationships program with my hubby Dave, at https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube for more coaching! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW3GBpWPPwcs36oYBgBVkow
You’re in a neurodiverse relationship. You are wired differently, a neurologically mixed couple. It’s tricky. We get it because we have lived it. In this episode, hear Dave's side of my journey to recovery as an energy manager. And join Dave and me for our new couples’ program! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf
Also, have you subscribed to Calm AF's YouTube channel yet? I'm uploading new coaching videos there on the regular so be sure to subscribe to get all my latest. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW3GBpWPPwcs36oYBgBVkow
Taking radical ownership of your life empowers you to create the life you want, the relationships you want, the career you want, everything. It’s not easy but it is crucial.
Personally speaking, my life overall changed for the better when I committed to fully owning it. My health improved. Our house began feeling like our home. And my neurodiverse marriage, which had been rocky, course-corrected. Not because “radical ownership” is some magical fairy wand that we can wave and suddenly everything is great, but because owning my life enabled me to make confident decisions about my circumstances that created real change. It’s powerful and, like anything so powerful, it’s not an easy thing to master. But endeavoring to take radical ownership of your life will serve you 100 percent of the time.
AND. Don't miss out on the next round of Rewired AF! Starts in October and I'm hosting the retreat right here in colorful Colorado! Get on the wait-list here: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/62b25c3c849e4b4fbbbea7d6
AND. Are you subscribed to the Calm AF YouTube channel? It's where you can go deeper, watch my coaching in action, and get lots of guidance, love, and support. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW3GBpWPPwcs36oYBgBVkow
The #1 thing I am asked to talk about is my neurodiverse marriage (Dave is autistic, I’m not). And I'm SO happy to talk about it...I'm SO happy to share what worked for our marriage. Except...my advice sucks.
I mean, it's SOLID gold, it is EXCELLENT advice, but it's HARD and it takes time, it requires you to change the way you've been living your life, and it can be painful.
I told you. Sucks.
On today's episode I'm talking about taking radical responsibility for your entire relationship so that you can transform it. I will share:
~ what radical ownership actually looks like
~how taking 100% responsibility for your entire life changes your entire life
~ why it's so hard to stay in your own lane
~ why letting people BE who they are will make YOU happier
I want you to stop WAITING for your external circumstances to change and change your life. I did it. You can, too. Join my next Rewired AF group to learn how: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/62b25c3c849e4b4fbbbea7d6
And, now you can subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube! Get free coaching and other nuggets of inspiration and insight here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW3GBpWPPwcs36oYBgBVkow
One of the most important milestones in the recovery journey of an energy manager is the moment they recognize just how much their behaviors — which truly are self-sabotaging — are making their life way harder. Because this is the moment they realize they must stop managing other people’s energies. It’s also the moment in which the brain jumps in and works to convince you that NOW is not the time to ditch your energy manager habit. Let’s look at the top five ways our brains wage protest against STOPPING managing everyone’s energy so that you can understand your brain’s end game and move forward accordingly.
Rewired is happening this fall! Get on the list: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/62b25c3c849e4b4fbbbea7d6
And have you subscribed on YouTube yet? It's free coaching. I mean... https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW3GBpWPPwcs36oYBgBVkow
Life is draining. Trying to generate more and more energy drains us more and leads to burn-out. My advice? Boost your personal energy efficiency. Here’s how.
Sign up to get weekly guidance and inspo directly to your inbox!
https://view.flodesk.com/pages/62a90ba63e1f4ce38387ee34
And, go deeper on the Calm AF YouTube Channel.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW3GBpWPPwcs36oYBgBVkow
Today, for my energy managers, people pleasers, perfectionists, and overachievers, I am handing out permission slips. Because YOU probably aren’t giving yourself permission to take care of yourself, to let yourself rest, to let yourself play, to STOP striving for perfection. I’m not giving you permission to check out or ignore life, I am giving you permission to do it shitty.
AND! Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube for all my video coaching. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW3GBpWPPwcs36oYBgBVkow
Validation is recognition or acceptance that something or someone is worthy, legitimate, and acceptable. That’s why validation, feeling valid, is such a big deal for all of us. When I talk to clients about internal validation, we are talking about a deep, almost profound knowing that who you are, and the feelings, thoughts, and opinions you bring to the table, are valid and worthwhile — without needing to hear it from anybody else. That is internal or self-validation. By contrast, external validation is when that sense of legitimacy and worthiness comes from somewhere/someone/something outside of you — from another person, for instance. Both sources of validation have remarkably positive and immediate effects on our mood because, to us humans and other pack animals, interpersonal acceptance and social legitimacy were factors crucial to our very survival. So, whether our ancestors carried themselves with true confidence or they sought kudos and pats on the back from their peers, the effects inside their brain would have felt equally good: The tribe thinks I am awesome and therefore, I am safe. However, only internal validation offers long-term, sustainable, positive effects on us psychologically and emotionally. Only internal validation serves our well-being over the long haul, and only internal validation builds and reinforces self-confidence.
Get more on the Calm AF YouTube channel! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW3GBpWPPwcs36oYBgBVkow
When you feel overwhelmed, when it feels like you don’t have time, when you feel like the best course of action is just to push through, that’s when to double down on self care. The tragic mass shooting in Buffalo, followed last week by the unthinkable school shooting in Uvalde, have left us buried - practically suffocating - in feelings. For so many of us, the temptation is to ignore the heavy feelings and just white-knuckle our way through the next few weeks. It’s to put the idea of self care away, to defer it until we can make time for it. But NOW is when you need to double-down on self care.
https://kristenfinch.com/calm-the-fk-down/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW3GBpWPPwcs36oYBgBVkow
If you wanna stop energy managing, you gotta find your WHY. Your BIG reason that keeps you on point. Here’s mine. AND, this week, you can still dive deeper with me and a whole group of gorgeous souls in my new 16-week program, Calm the F**k Down. Tap the link below to join!
https://kristenfinch.com/calm-the-fk-down/
Lately, I’ve been talking a lot about Energy Managers and energy managing on my podcast. So much so, that a number of clients and listeners have turned to Google to learn even more about energy managing, only to discover zero search results related to this topic.
And that is because the concept of the Energy Manager is something that I made up, a phrase I’ve coined. While Energy Managers have always existed, the classification comes straight from my brain – and straight out of my own, personal experience. I’m sure Google will catch up.
So, today I’m going to share my own journey in my Energy Manager recovery. How it started, how it went, how it’s going, the process I’ve honed to guide Energy Managers to recovery – and my a-ha moment that changed everything.
My new program, Calm the F**k Down, starts soon. Tap here for more details: https://kristenfinch.com/calm-the-fk-down/
An energy manager is someone whose people-pleasing habit has gone next-level and become an addiction. You know you’re an energy manager if you are constantly and hyper-vigilantly managing the moods, thoughts, and feelings of your people — your partner, friends, coworkers, furnace repair guy, whoever. It’s exhausting and thankless and the “work” of energy managing never ends. And the crazy thing is that IT DOESN’T WORK. Like addicts clinging to their substance of choice, energy managers and people pleasers cling to a handful of very false notions that perpetuate this extremely toxic addiction. Today, I cover 4 of them.
AND! Click here to join "Calm the F**k Down," my new class for Energy Managers: https://kristenfinch.com/calm-the-fk-down/
AND AND! Calm AF now has a YouTube channel where you can do deeper into the episodes with videos, reminders & tips, playlists, and more! Subscribe now at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW3GBpWPPwcs36oYBgBVkow
Resilience and emotional ownership - two life-changing products of emotional intelligence - are essential to your recovery as an energy manager. Today’s episode of the Calm AF podcast is all about how to build these core strengths, and where you can start today. And speaking of starting today, click here for more info on my new class for People Pleasers & Energy Managers, starting later this month!
Gorgeous soul, I am pretty sure this episode of the Calm AF podcast is meant just for you. Today, I am talking all about energy managers. And if you’re not sure what I mean by “energy manager,” think of energy managers as people pleasers who have taken people pleasing to a whole new level. They’re the ones who are not merely seeking the approval of one person, they are seeking to control all the moods of all the people. Yeah. It’s intense, it’s exhausting, and it definitely takes its toll on the soul. Let's dive in. To learn more about my new coaching program opening soon, visit
https://view.flodesk.com/pages/625b3d0669d304440734ad12
There is never a downside to choosing empowered thinking. There is never a downside to choosing to believe that the best is going to happen instead of the worst is going to happen, or believing that you are capable or worthy or enough. Your brain wants to hold onto the "yeah buts." Yeah, but what if I'm not? Yeah, but what if I fail? Yeah, but what about other people's opinions? Your brain — the human brain — is designed to look for all the ways you aren't enough, the way your life is lacking. BUT. It is never helpful to choose those thoughts. It is never helpful to choose anxiety or fear or shame. It’s never helpful to err on the side of limiting or powerless thinking. And in this episode, as your coach, I'm going to prove it to you. Check out https://kristenfinch.com for more.
This episode is all about making decisions. More specifically, how to make empowered decisions. No anxiety, no doubt, no over-thinking, no FOMO - just total confidence. Empowered decisions feel good, they feel right, they feel solid. Let's talk about how to make them with confidence, every time. I'm Kristen, your Calm AF Coach. You got this, and I got you.
ALL clutter is an accumulation of things that you don’t use, things don’t serve a purpose, things you’ve outgrown, unhelpful things that are taking up space. That space can be your home, your mind or your body. Today, let’s talk about the emotional clutter that's getting in your way. Check out this related PLAYLIST that I've curated just for you, for after you listen to this episode: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/624773500d4a1c1ac93e381c
Visit https://kristenfinch.com/rewiredaf for the rest.
ALL clutter is an accumulation of things that you don’t use, things don’t serve a purpose, things you’ve outgrown, unhelpful things that are taking up space. That space can be your home, your mind or your body. Today, let’s talk about the mental clutter taking up precious real estate in your gorgeous brain - and WHAT to do with it. Visit https://kristenfinch.com/rewiredaf for the rest.
ALL clutter is an accumulation of things that you don’t use, things don’t serve a purpose, things you’ve outgrown, unhelpful things that are taking up space. That space can be your home, your mind or your body. Today, let’s talk about the space clutter takes up in your home. Visit https://kristenfinch.com/rewiredaf for the rest.
WHY do we wait for a wake up call to feel ALIVE in our lives..to stop living a life in survival mode and start living our one life NOW. Today I’m going to share with you the BIGGEST lies we are believing that are keeping us from reclaiming our lives from survival mode hell. Applications are being accepted for April's RewiredAF retreat and 4 months of coaching. Apply now at https://kristenfinch.as.me/rewiredAF
The most important thing you can do as a person, a woman, a mom, a partner, a boss, a subordinate, is to step fully into the power you already have. To my people-pleasers, over-thinkers, perfectionists and overachievers: you take your power back, you take your life back. Today I'll give you 3 guidelines for how to do it now. Applications are being accepted for April's RewiredAF retreat and 4 months of coaching. Apply now at https://kristenfinch.as.me/rewiredAF
Beyond the normal mental, physical, and emotional fatigue there is a deeper sense of exhaustion that I call Soul Tired. Soul Tired happens when we take on too much responsibility for things we can't control. Soul Tired happens when we spiral into over-thinking. It happens roughly 23-ish months into a pandemic. So, today's episode is all about understanding WHY your soul is tired, and then three solid things you can do now to give your soul - YOU - some much needed rest. Applications are being accepted for April's RewiredAF retreat and 4 months of coaching. Apply now at https://kristenfinch.as.me/rewiredAF
We all have an inner voice that chatters away in our heads. For most of us, that voice is not the nicest. It's not pointing out our successes or our potential or our strengths. It's pointing out our flaws, rehashing mistakes, generally being a Mean Girl. In this throwback episode, we talk all about the talk. Apply to work with me at kristenfinch.com/rewiredaf
Lighten up - that's the doctor's orders. Published research by Dr. Karyn Purvis shows that, typically, it takes about 400 repetitions to create a new synapse in the brain. Which means we have to practice a thought 400 times before it becomes a belief or second-nature. BUT. When play is involved, that same synapse will develop over on 10 to 20 repetitions. So, today we're talking about lightening the fk up while you learn to calm the fk down. Apply for RewiredAF at kristenfinch.com/rewiredaf
In my experience, one of the greatest obstacles to achieving goals, manifesting outcomes, living a life you WANT to live every day, is what I call all-or-nothing thinking. You have to stop that sh!t if you want to get anywhere. Today's episode is all about it. Check out kristenfinch.com for more good stuff.
What is my purpose? It's a question I hear ALL the time. And most people think it's a really deep question with a big answer. But I think it's super simple. Your purpose is to BE the realest, most authentic YOU, you can be. The problem? You've learned SO much about who you should be, and what you're supposed to look like. Today I'm diving in and sharing: ~ True Self vs Learned Self ~ Why becoming your True Self requires UNLEARNING and REWIRING ~ How to figure out who the TRUE you actually is
If you don't feel worthy being who you REALLY are - your most authentic and aligned self - you will find yourself feeling exhausted, resentful, depressed, anxious. In this episode, we dive into why that is, and what to do about it.
Old habits kill new mindsets. Today I’ll share with you the #1 thing you are doing that is keeping your from becoming your future self. The #1 mistake you are making when it comes to transforming one of more areas of your life. The #1 ERROR you are making when manifesting the life you WANT. AND what to do about it. You can download a quick and helpful resource at kristenfinch.com/podcast or https://view.flodesk.com/pages/61e743f94cfe7529d668b339
What legacy will I leave? What legacy do I WANT to leave? What do I hope people say about me when I’m gone? I really want people to say the same things about me that they are saying about Bob Saget. This is truly the weirdest episode ever and that is not something I ever thought would come out of my mouth. But grab a coffee and hear me out. And. Go to https://kristenfinch.com/rewiredaf to apply for my upcoming January retreat.
If the people you are surrounded by aren't lifting you up, cheering you on, dusting you off, laughing with you, celebrating with you, loving on you…FIND NEW PEOPLE. The people in your life will either elevate you or keep you where you are. It's time to surround yourself with the best. If you don't have this group, CREATE it. Go to https://kristenfinch.com/rewiredaf to find your people.
Some people greet the new year with goals, others with energy-charged words or phrases. There’s no wrong way to strut into 2022 as long as you’re choosing to strut in INTENTIONALLY. Me I love - and I mean LOVE - goals AND words. Lighting up my 2022 is the phrase, Quantum Leap. Because quantum leaps are the essence of easy manifesting. In this episode, I'm talking all about manifesting and turbocharging results in a PRACTICAL way. And. I'm taking applications for the January retreat and coaching session. Apply at https://kristenfinch.com/rewiredAF
The new year begins in a couple days and we all have GOALS on the brain. So, today I’m gonna share with you the top 3 things to leave in 2021. Do NOT take this sh*t with you into 2022. If you are listening and it is already 2022, let TODAY be the last day. Release these things today. They are weighing you down, slowing you down, bringing you down. It's time to lighten up, speed up, and level up. Grab a coffee and let's do this! And visit https://kristenfinch.com/rewiredaf to apply now for the January retreat! xoxo Kristen
Today, I talk about manifesting with EASE, aka the Calm AF manifestation method. Because here’s what you need to understand. The more you focus on the struggle, the more you resist the feelings, the more you think about how HARD this is…the more struggle, resistance and HARD shit you’re going to feel. How about instead, you lighten the fuck up about it? I say that with nothing but light….let’s just have some fun. Learn how at https://kristenfinch.com/rewiredaf
If you want to manifest ANYTHING, your time needs to be spent BECOMING the person who can do these three things: 1. Embrace failure 2. Feel your feelings 3. Have faith. Building on last week's episode (#166), we're diving deeper into focusing on the right thing at the beginning of your manifesting process. Namely, who you want to be. The January 2022 retreat and coaching package is open NOW for applications! Visit https://kristenfinch.com/rewiredaf to apply.
I’m a HUGE fan of setting goals. I think they are the BEST way to stay intentional in our desire to become our best selves, our FUTURE self. When I talk about Future Self, I simply mean the version of you that’s done the work of unlearning old limiting beliefs and has become the MOST TRUE version of yourself. So, how do we do this? In this episode, I share a pragmatic approach to creating the reality you want. Grab a coffee, let's do this. Check out https://kristenfinch.com/rewiredaf for more!
The point of the holidays is TO CELEBRATE. Can't get into the holiday spirit if you're freaking out, right? I got you. In this episode, I share 4 simple tips for creating CALM AF Holidays. It's deciding to create a Calm AF Holiday season, dropping expectations, preparing for what you want, and prioritizing YOUR self-care. Visit https://kristenfinch.com/rewiredaf to go deeper!
Often, I am asked, "What if I don't know who my 'authentic self' truly is?" And ten times out of ten, I respond with “Of course you do.” Of COURSE you do. You cannot be separated from your true self….she’s just buried under layers of fear, trauma, and expectations. This episode is a shortie, and it lays out concrete steps to reconnecting with your authentic self. Let's do this. ALSO: visit https://kristenfinch.com/rewiredaf to apply for January openings!
In nearly a decade of coaching, I have learned a surprising truth about people: those who are POWERFUL AF are just as likely as anyone to find themselves caged in by life, if not more. Why? Because powerful people are feared the most and told the most lies about how they AREN’T powerful. They’re told repeatedly that who they are is a mistake and everything they do is wrong.They’re given the message that they need to be smaller, quieter, PERFECT in order to be acceptable to the world. This is what they hear over and over until the truth gets duller and the lies get louder. Sound familiar? Grab a coffee, let's dive in.
Don’t wait until your wake up call. Live the TRUE life you are here to live - not the one you think you’re supposed to be living.
You can be CRANKY AF while still calm AF'er. Much as we try to align with joy and gratitude, inevitably, some days / some weeks are just sh*t...and so's our mood. Happens all the time. So, here are 3 tips to help you access Calm AF energy, no matter how you're feeling. AND. It is time to register for the next round of Rewired AF! Just click here to apply: https://kristenfinch.as.me/rewiredAF
Rewired AF begins in January 2022. Kicking off with an in-person retreat January 26-30 followed by weekly group coaching. We’re making 2022 the BEST year. Click here to apply and schedule a time to talk: https://kristenfinch.as.me/rewiredAF
Do you find yourself saying YES when you want to say no? Do you rehash old conversations, wondering if you said the right thing? Do you spend time worrying about if other people are mad at you? Do you feel like you’re walking on eggshells so your partner/mom/boss/whoever doesn't get upset? These are just a few ways that people pleasing shows up. Grab a coffee, we're doing this.
This week I’m going to be sharing my biggest AHA moments, lessons and GIFTS I’ve learned from my journey with having ADHD. And again, whether you have a brain wired like mine or NOT, the lessons and tools that came from this part of my story WILL be applicable for YOU.
My husband, Dave, was diagnosed with an autism spectrum condition five years into our marriage. Unlike countless couples with a less-than-happy outcome - with or without the challenges of neurodiversity - we created a happier life together by changing our stories. Grab a coffee, it's time for some thought work.
Today’s episode is about death and what I learned from loss. It's my first time getting this personal, which scares me a little. But the lessons about rising from trauma, feeling our feelings, and the nature of love are just too important to keep to myself. Grab a coffee, we're going deep.
Approval addiction is when your self worth is defined by other people’s opinions of you. When you can only feel worthy or good enough when other people SHOW their approval. Approval addicts need validation from external sources in order to feel enough and ANY criticism proves they are NOT worthy. In today’s episode, I’m sharing:
~ the MANY different ways approval addiction shows up for people (people pleasing, hiding, attention seeking, etc)
~ the 3 steps to break an addiction to other people’s approval
~ 4 tips you can use immediately while you’re learning to accept yourself without the need for approval/praise.
The self-help industry is valued at $11 Billion. Health and wellness? $3 Billion. DIET amounts to a $254 Billion (1/4 Trillion Dollar) industry. The subtext of these industries is toxic and damaging: "Change who you are so you can feel WORTHY." It's bullshit. YOU were born worthy of being who you are. You're worthy. It's your birthright. So let's talk about it. Grab a coffee.
For you empaths, being very sensitive is a SUPERPOWER. But without energetic boundaries and some mindset strategies, it does NOT feel like a superpower. Grab a coffee, we're talking all about it.
Like all natural, living things, you are SUPPOSED to go through seasons. Sometimes you're flowing - things are going great, no problems. Sometimes things aren't going so great. This is when you're GROWING. Grab a cup of coffee, Gorgeous Soul. We're talking all about growing and flowing and how to manage these important seasons.
Your brain generates as many as 60,000 thoughts every single day. Of those, 80% are negative ones. What's more? 95% of them are REPETITIVE thoughts. In today's episode, I share why this really, really, REALLY matters. Grab a coffee, we're doing this.
I will go into the whole story but the MESSAGE for today is this: You ALWAYS have two choices when it comes to stressful situations. You can be PANICKED AF. ANXIOUS AF. AFRAID AF. OR Calm AF. In this episode I’m going to share with you why it’s ALWAYS worth it to choose calm AF.
You might think it’s impossible for someone to think WHO YOU REALLY ARE is amazing because you were taught from the time you were very little that you weren't good enough. The truth is, you just haven't found your people. Your people are out there. They are waiting for YOU. They want who you ARE, not who you’ve been trying to be. The only way to find people who love you is by unapologetically being yourself. Grab a coffee, we're diving into it.
In today’s episode, I’m sharing the steps you need to take to unlearn your old stories and create the life you want: find the rules, question the rules, rewrite the rules, rewire your mind.
I'm teaching this in depth in Rewired AF, a 6-month group coaching program beginning September 14th.
To learn more, go to https://kristenfinch.com/rewiredaf
Schedule a free consult call to see if the group is right for you here: https://kristenfinch.as.me/rewiredAF
Routines will create more INTENTION and ATTENTION on the areas of your life that you want to be more present in, and will help you always be moving towards your future self.Because Your time, without structure, disappears quickly. Today I’m going to share with you 3 routines that will change your life: a morning routine, an evening routine and intentional time blocking.
Whatever thought you plant in your subconscious mind is what will grow there. The subconscious mind isn’t judging anything. That’s not its job. It’s not questioning ANY thought seed you plant. It’s just there to grow the thought into a belief. So today, let's talk about tending to your thoughts to make sure the ones that serve you have the strongest roots.
In this episode, I dive into some of the ways anxiety is eroding your quality of life, and what it's actually costing you. Anxiety is costing you money, relationships, connection, time, and so much more. That's why it's so important to learn how to calm the f**k down.
Clients tell me that it’s hard to be yourself. It’s HARD to speak your truth. It’s HARD to set boundaries. It’s HARD to prioritize your SELF in your own life. But they don't recognize how much more difficult it is to live in a constantly self-limited way. It is SO MUCH EASIER to live your life as YOURSELF than what you’re doing now. That's what today's episode is all about. Grab a coffee and let's do this.
It’s not so much what you do when anxiety hits. Those in-the-moment strategies are helpful, but you really also need to be paying attention to how you think about anxiety, and your thoughts about your anxiety. So this episode is about shifting your mindset and learning how to stop feeling powerless to your anxiety. One of the keys that gets missed to managing anxiety from beginning to end is to become empowered in your thoughts about your anxiety. Let's dig in.
Self-help. You've listened to all the podcasts, read all the books, learned all the tools. And still, the instant a challenge arises, you drop everything you've learned and go right back to your old habits. SO helpful. I have been there and this episode is all about how to transform these ideas into tools you actively use every day.
This was one of the most loved and thought-provoking episodes of 2020. I recorded this just before the pandemic shut down the world, and it’s called Top 10 Things to Quit in 2020 – not that 2020 offered too much to keep. Anyway, these remain true today, over a year and a half later. Enjoy!
Does it ever feel like life is overwhelming like you’re drowning and right at the last second you get a gasp of air before heading back under, before going head-first back into life? This episode from October 2019 is all about that.
Acceptance does not mean giving in, agreeing, or condoning. It is only the acknowledgment of what is. Today, we’re going all the way back to 2019. I loved this client's story so much because it is THE CLASSIC objection I hear when I tell people that before they can change something, they have to accept it.
Throwback Episode! Today’s throwback is one of my most deeply personal stories where the lesson was clear, present, painful, and absolutely life-changing. It's all about PUSHING PAUSE: what it means, how it serves you, and how to do it. Enjoy.
When your Lizard Brain is in charge, your body will feel panic. The boss, the teenager, the toddler stay mostly in your head. The Lizard moves into the body so it's easy to spot.In today's episode, I'll teach you how to tame The Lizard when she shows up and grabs the reins in your brains.
You inner Teenager shows up under similar circumstances to The Toddler, but the way she shows up is much different. How you respond to her makes all the difference in your ability to access your highest, most Calm AF self. This episode is all about The Teenager - may God have mercy on our souls.
When The Boss gets tired and clocks out, your inner toddler is free to run amok. That’s when she is most dangerous. So let’s talk about it. In this episode, I teach you how to recognize The Toddler, when and why she shows up, and what to do when your Toddler is on her rampage.
Last week I introduced you to the coaching concept I created called The Team. The team is a motley configuration of thinking habits that steer your mind through just about every situation. Today, we'll talk about The Boss because The Boss, in my experience coaching people, is the loudest and most ACTIVE team member of all.
In this first in a series of five episodes, I introduce you to your Team, a motley confederation of thinking habits that steer your mind through just about every situation.
I do NOT teach positive thinking, I teach empowered thinking. I’m not interested in trying to trick your brain into believing things that aren’t true, I want you to OWN your thoughts and know that YOU are in control of them and your beliefs. In this episode, I explain why I don’t teach positive thinking AND tell you how EMPOWERED thinking is the way to change your life.
When you feel better in your mind and body and soul, the rest of your life feels better. Instead of procrastinating or shutting down because you’re exhausted, you move quicker and get more done. Prioritizing your self care allows you to still do the things that need to get done without feeling resentful while you’re doing it.
This episode is all about validation and the two ways we experience it: from external sources and from our own thoughts. We'll dive into how relying on external things for validation causes and perpetuates problems - not the least of which being what I call "fragile happiness." Then I'll explain how you can take radical ownership of your feelings about yourself and your worth. Grab some coffee and let's do this.
This episode is all about getting to your future self without taking the torture path. Because here's the truth about creating the future you want: if the journey there SUCKS, you're not going to feel better when you arrive. If you don't feel worthy along the way, you definitely will not feel like you're enough when you get there. In other words, happy endings do not come from unhappy journeys
Most of us are taught that any feeling except happiness is something to be avoided. But, human beings are emotional creatures. Emotional capacity is literally coded into our DNA. In this episode, I explain the difference between "clean pain" - which is unavoidable - and "dirty pain," which is absolutely avoidable.
If you want to change anything, at all, you've got to be willing to feel discomfort. Changing how you feel about your life, deciding to leave a toxic job or a toxic relationship, finding your forever person. Whatever it is, discomfort will accompany change. And if you want to feel better, calmer, happier, more content, more FREE...you have to choose growth over comfort. For a deeper dive, visit kristenfinch.com.
Your relationship with your emotions is probably not super healthy...and this is not your fault.The ways we were taught to interpret and to deal with our emotions may have been legacy, but legacy does not equal healthy, does not equal true. In this episode, we unpack the baggage of our emotions, together. For a deeper dive and free registration to my Master Class, visit kristenfinch.com.
Overthinking does not help you make better decisions. In fact, it has the opposite effect. Here’s my 3-step process to help my overthinkers.
You are super-smart. So it seems logical that the more brainpower you throw at a problem, the longer you analyze it from every possible angle, the more likely you are to achieve total clarity and make the perfect decision. You need to knock that off, and in this episode I explain why.
This is an extraordinary episode for a number of reasons. First, it's a deeply personal story for me. I'll take you through some moments in my life that were...we'll say, challenging. The overnight loss of my fiance, Mike. My dad's avoidable and yet, totally unavoidable death from alcoholism. A rocky period in my marriage. And I'll relate how I was able to work my way through these moments and come out the other side ready for more of life's magic.
MAKE SURE TO SUBSCRIBE!
You are not the ONE HUMAN incapable of rewiring your thoughts.
It is absolutely possible for you to drop your old limiting beliefs and create the future you want.
It's called neuroplasticity and today I'm giving a super simple example of a new neural pathway I recently created.
Ready to have accountability and support while you REWIRE? I am the perfect person to help. I'm so excited to talk to you!
Make sure you are subscribed to this podcast...ch ch ch changes are coming!
In today's conclusion to the Change your Life series I'm sharing the 5 steps that will allow you to rewire your brain for happiness.
I'll also teach you the 4 most common reasons people give up before the brain changes.
MAKE SURE YOU ARE SUBSCRIBED TO THIS PODCAST (changes coming!!)
In today's throwback episode I'm sharing the 7 most common faulty thought patterns that keep you from creating what you want.
Ready to change your life for real and for good? Apply to work with me 1:1.
Today is part 2 of the 4 part Change Your Life series from April 2020.
We've been programmed to believe that willpower and grit and pushing through and taking action is what's going to create success.
But no.
What you do DOES matter, but what you THINK matters more.
If you are constantly moving through your life beating yourself up, being hard on yourself, focusing on feeling bad to motivate yourself, your'e going to burn out.
Today I'm sharing why:
~ all circumstances are neutral
~what you think is always a choice
~ what you think will create a feeling
~ what you feel will dictate your behaviors, actions and habits.
(This episode was originally aired in April 2020).
You cannot create lasting lifelong changes if you keep thinking the same way you’re thinking now.
In order to change your life, you must change your thoughts.
In order to do THAT, you need to understand WHY your thinking matters and HOW your thinking actually does create your reality.
In part one of How To Change Your Life, I’m sharing:
~ why it feels hard to create real change that lasts
~ why most people aren't able to create the real change they want in a sustainable way.
~ what the conscious + subconscious minds ARE and why they matter
~ why what you hold in your subconscious is either creating what you WANT or what you DON’T want.
~ why your thoughts matter MORE than the actions you’re taking
This week I'm teaching your the difference between active and passive anxiety, how to recognize it in yourself and how to manage it so that you can calm your mind and achieve what you want to achieve.
Apply to work with Kristen
In today’s episode I’m letting you in on something you might not even realize you’re doing: fighting harder for what you DON’T want instead of what you DO want.
I’m going to tell you why and how to stop.
Schedule a consultation call with Kristen
Today’s episode is all about approval seeking behaviors and people pleasing.
I’ll share how to KNOW if you’re an approval seeking people pleaser AND 5 thoughts that you can borrow that will help shift you out of approval seeking behaviors and into your full power.
Apply to work with Kristen
What is my purpose?
It's a question I hear ALL the time. And most people think it's a really deep question with a big answer.
But I think it's super simple.
Your purpose is to BE the realest, most authentic YOU your can be.
The problem? You've learned SO much about who you should be, and what you're supposed to look like.
Today I'm diving in and sharing:
~ True Self vs Learned Self
~ Why becoming your True Self requires UNLEARNING and REWIRING
~ How to figure out who the TRUE you actually is
If you love the podcast, please leave a review.
To apply to work with me go to kristenfinch.com or click here.
If you want to stop going through the motions and really BE who you’re here to be, that doesn’t happen on accident.
It happens when you decide. Intentionally.
Today I’m going to share what intentions are, WHY you need to be setting intentions, how to set intentions and how to REMEMBER your intentions.
apply to work with kristen
Today's episode is half podcast, half goal writing workshop.
In my world, we don't write goals because there's something wrong with you that needs to be fixed. We write goals that align with who you REALLY are, underneath the doubt, negative mental chatter, and fear.
When you write goals that align with how you want to feel, you don't need willpower and you don't give up.
Grab your notebooks, Gorgeous Soul. Because today is the day that we do this.
Apply to work with Kristen in 2021.
I mean...you want to rest.
But every time you sit down, the thoughts start...
"I don't have time"
"I have too much to do"
"If I have free time, I should be productive"
In today's episode I'm gonna turn your thoughts about resting, your thoughts about being productive, your thoughts about resting being something other people have time for UPSIDE DOWN.
Because, Gorgeous Soul, resting is the MOST PRODUCTIVE THING YOU CAN DO.
And I'll prove it in today's episode.
I help women calm tf down so they can DO the things they want to do, but think they can't...things like relationships, neurodiverse relationships, body image/weight struggles, ADD, business, parenting, SELF CARE...wherever you're struggling or stuck, I can help. Click this link to schedule a free, no pressure, curious about coaching call. I'll have spots available as soon as early 2021.
Two weeks until the new year. HALLELUJAH!
Today we’re talking about how to set goals that stick! I’m sharing the top reasons people get stuck or give up on their goals and how to fix that.
If you have any trouble with any of the links, please email support@kristenfinch.com for assistance.
To receive the goal writing workshop, click here to be added to the email list. As soon as the class is ready, you will receive a link to view straight to your inbox. (If you are already on my email list, you will be getting this automatically).
For a 90-minute private goal writing session with Kristen, click here.
--> To apply to work with me in 2021, click here <--
Apply to work with Kristen
One of the biggest obstacles people face when making changes in their life is the fear of what other people are going to think of them.
They want to change their career, but are worried about what their parents will think.
They want to set boundaries but are afraid people will their they’re mean.
In today’s episode I’m sharing 4 tips on overcoming the fear of other people’s opinions about you.
Today we’re talking about the difference between lack thinking and abundant thinking.
Lack thinking is “I need to change something so I can feel worthy”. It often creates temporary change.
Abundant thinking is “I feel worthy AND I want to change something” and creates sustainable change.
Listen in to learn about the difference and how to switch from lack to abundant thinking so you can create the future you want to create.
Apply to work with Kristen
Sign up for for the mailing list to get info on the Goals Setting Workshop
I’m beginning to book clients to begin in 2021. Click here to set up a free discovery call and fill out an application or go to www.kristenfinch.com
You know the feeling....you have a few days in a row where you are KILLING it. You feel inspired and motivated and productive.
And then? You wake up and it’s gone. Without a trace. SO annoying...the dreaded FUNK.
In today’s episode I’m going to turn your funk upside down by suggesting that there is actually no such thing as a funk. Just a feeling that you haven’t felt all the way through.
In today’s episode I will teach you 4 things to know to get out of a funk.
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Stop calling it a funk
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Remind yourself you’re not a robot
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Don’t put your feelings on a timeline
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Stop being so precious.
Apply to work with Kristen
If you want to change anything in your life, you're going to have to do something (or lots of things) that feels hard.
Your brain, by default, will do annnyyyyything to avoid the hard thing. It just wants you to stay safe....even if that means staying exactly the same.
In today's episode, I'm going to teach you what you're going to experience when you DO the hard thing.
I'll share with you:
~ what happens before, during and after you do the hard thing
~ the different ways your brain will try to stop you from doing the hard thing
~ how to know the difference between your intuition and fear
~ why you need to set deadlines
Enjoy
Schedule a consult call here.
Gorgeous Soul,
You are not broken.
You are not a problem to be solved.
You are not a project to be fixed.
Who you ARE is not fundamentally WRONG....you’ve just believed it because you were taught it.
Today I’m sharing three thoughts to move you towards self acceptance:
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Who you are, how you are wired, is NOT a mistake
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Other people’s beliefs about WHO YOU SHOULD BE come from their own opinions projected onto you.
-
When you stop believing there’s something WRONG with you, you move out of struggle and into flow.
Apply to work with Kristen
If you want to change something in your life, you're going to have to stop trying to hurry up and FIX your feelings.
You're gonna have to FEEL them.
In today's episode I share:
~ what feelings actually are
~ why you are afraid to feel your feelings all the way through
~ 3 common thoughts you have about feelings that keep you stuck and what to think instead
Apply to work with Kristen
With 100+ episodes under our belt, Show Up and Love is ready for an up-level.
BUCKLE UP, BUTTERCUPS.
I’m going to level up and teach you more advanced concepts and coach you a little harder.
You’re going to level up by becoming an active implementor of the tools that I teach you.
If you want to actually change your life, you cannot passively consume self-help, personal development or inspirational quotes on the internet...you have to sit down and BECOME the student, do the work, BE the client.
Today’s throwback’s episode is the most downloaded, listened to, commented on episode of all 100 episodes. And there’s a reason: it’s the heart and soul of this podcast, the meat and potatoes of the message I share: WHEN YOU KNOW YOU ARE WORTHY, YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE.
Apply to work with Kristen
Work with Kristen
When you are working on believing you are worthy, you need to fiercely protect your growth. Today’s throwback episode is all about how to set boundaries.
Apply for Kristen's 6 month individualized coaching program
Today's episode is a repeat, but for a very specific reason....after celebrating 100 episodes together, we're going to level up. I'm going to start sharing information at a deeper level. I want you to have a solid foundation for some of the key concepts so when I return with brand new episodes, you're ready.
Application for 1:1 coaching
To celebrate the 100th episode of Show Up and Love, I am reflecting on WHY I do this podcast: to plant seeds of possibility.
And I’m sharing a story of a client who had ONE thought that literally changed her life.
Even if it seems like you have a million different things you want to change, ONE thought can change your life.
Apply to work with Kristen
The transformation we see on social media or on tv seems sexy...the homeless person who becomes a gajillionaire, the couch potato who runs the marathon.
But that really isn’t how transformation actually works.
On today’s episode I’m sharing:
~ the three stages of transformation
~ why inspiration is NOT a necessary ingredient for change
~ 4 ways to feel ONE notch better so you keep moving forward and stop quitting on yourself
Apply to work with Kristen
Acceptance is one of the fundamental ingredients in creating a life you want to live.
But it gets a bad rap.
In today’s episode I’m sharing what acceptance actually means and what it doesn’t mean:
Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up.
It doesn’t mean condoning.
It doesn’t mean settling.
It doesn’t mean trying to convince yourself to LIKE something you don’t like.
Acceptance simply means acknowledging what is REAL, what is TRUE so that you stop fighting with reality and make the changes you want.
Apply to work with Kristen
The types of questions you ask yourself every day MATTERS.
If you are asking yourself low quality questions rooted in fear or confusion, you will get low quality results.
Today I’m sharing three tips to get you asking yourself high level, high quality questions so that you can manifest a life you WANT to live.
Apply to work with Kristen
There are two types of bosses: the type that lead through fear, intimidation and shame (bully) and the type that inspire and motivate people (visionary).
Most people’s bosses in their HEADS are bullies. They have a belief that if you lead through love or encouragement, you won’t work as hard.
In today’s episode, I”m challenging that belief and suggesting that managing your mind as a visionary instead of a bully will lead to faster change that is sustainable.
Apply to work with Kristen
Sometimes it feels like life is just one big emergency.
We feel like we’re reacting to whatever is thrown at us when we COULD just push pause.
Most decisions are NOT life or death.
Push pause.
Breathe.
Ask for help.
Trust the answer.
Coaching will change your damn life. Click here to apply to work with me (spots opening in the fall..get on the waitlist now).
This episode is one you’ll want to listen to again and again. I am sharing three truths about how your brain works and how your thoughts work that are fundamental in creating real and sustainable change in your life.
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You are not your thoughts.
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Don’t believe every thought you think.
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You (and you alone) are in charge of your thoughts and feelings.
Listen and learn and then teach your kids.
When you're moving forward on the path to your future Self, there will be mental blocks that show up.
In last week’s episode I shared 5 common mental blocks that show up and today I’m sharing 5 mindset shifts (aka thoughts to think on purpose) to practice so you don’t get stuck there.
Application to work with Kristen
Join the FB group
Schedule a consultation
Join the FB group
Yes, 2020 has been a year that has made us all feel like someone has pushed pause on life. But life hasn’t paused.
Instead of waiting for things to go back to normal, we have this amazing opportunity to create a NEW normal, to manifest a new future, to Become the best version of yourself.
It’s time to decide to get up, start moving forward and KEEP moving forward.
In today’s episode I’m sharing 5 common obstacles people face that make them give up their forward movement.
Schedule a free consult with Kristen
Join the FB group
I recently created a NEW habit in my life: I changed the song I sing while I wash my hands (from ABC’s to Britney....obvs). And while this new wiring isn’t going to significantly impact my life, I noticed that I used the EXACT same process to rewire THIS habit as I did to rewire other old stories in my life.
Learn more about Kristen’s 1:1 coaching program
If you are working on believing that you are WORTHY, boundaries are non-negotiable.
In today’s episode I’m sharing a SIMPLE and NEW way of thinking about boundaries that you can start practicing today.
Talk to me about coaching
Join the FB group
I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but the world is upside down and on fire. There’s a LOT going on in the world.
And just because I’m a mindset expert and life coach does NOT mean I’m immune from the heaviness of it all.
In today’s episode I’m sharing what self care looks like for me in the current state of upside-downness:
~ Why trying to power your way through is perpetuating the pain
~ the question I ask myself ALL DAY LONG to make sure I’m honoring my self care
~ why I’m letting lots of things fall of my plate (if it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no)
~ why I’m having to CHILL OUT MY LIZARD BRAIN so I can ask for help
Schedule a free consult
Join the FB group
In today’s epsisode I’m teaching you about the Perfection Box (the Worthy Ladder’s sidekick). I’ll be sharing:
~ what the Perfection Box is and why we are hardwired to try to fit into it
~ why what you think of as a flaw might ACTUALLY be a superpower
~ HOW to stop trying to SQUISH ourselves into a box, into a personality, we don’t fit into
~ how your life changes when you get RID OF THE BOX
Perfectionism blocks your joy.
It keeps your from living your life.
It stands between YOU and peace of mind.
In today’s episode I’m sharing:
~ the many different ways perfectionism shows up
~ WHY so many of us develop a perfectionist mindset
~ why trying to be perfect sucks
~ how to start embracing imperfection
Click here to schedule your free consult.
Join the Show Up and Love FB group
Do you find yourself saying YES when you want to say no?
Do you rehash old conversations wondering if you said the right thing?
Do you spend time worrying about if other people are mad at you?
Do you feel like you’re walking on eggshells so your partner or mom or whoever don’t get upset?
These are just a few ways that people pleasing shows up.
In today’s episode I’m sharing:
~ how people pleasing shows up
~ WHY we are people pleasers
~ 3 ways to get OFF the sucky people pleasing bus: radical ownership, giving others their power back, owning your worth
Click here to schedule your free consult. (FYI: I am full through August, but set up a call to get on the waiting list)
Join the Show Up and Love FB group
Book a free consult
We all tend to have “that” time of the day...the part of your day that you dread, that you just hope to survive, the HARDEST part of your day.
For most people, the hardest part is either the morning, the late afternoon/before dinner hour or the very end of the day...after you’re done but before bed.
In today’s episode I share with you how to take this difficult part of your day and make it BETTER. Because the truth is, while it’s your thoughts that will ultimately change how you feel, it’s SO important to set ourselves up for success while we work on the mindset piece.
There are 5 steps:
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Decide and Declare that you are taking this part of your day BACK.
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Find the predominant thought that makes you feel how you don’t want to feel.
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Name the feeling that you typically feel during this hardest part of your day (exhaustion, heavy, antsy, resentful)
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Decide how you want to feel.
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Create a sensory experience that supports how you WANT to feel, setting yourself up for success.
Apply for my 1:1 coaching program
“I don’t know"
They seem like three harmless words, and most of us throw these words around mindlessly and easily.
But these words are actually harmful, keep you in the feeling states of overwhelm and helplessness and perpetuate your suffering
We use I don’t know when we’re afraid to fail. When we’re afraid to be wrong. When we’re afraid to be SEEN as wrong.
I don’t know is an excuse that leads to shutting down.
If you want an answer to your question, “I don’t know” cannot be the answer.
In today’s episode I’m sharing three ways to STOP getting stuck in the inaction of overwhelm and helplessness so you can find the answers.
Today the message I want to share is about unlearning racism and becoming anti-racist. Showing up and loving cannot co-exist without equity. However, I am not the teacher of this movement, I am a student. Instead of listening to me today, please look at the list of resources I have included here, choose an article, a podcast, a book, a course and spend your time here.
BOOKS:
How to Be An Anti-Racist by Ibram X Kendi (may be on backorder, but is available on audible for immediate listen)
Me and White Supremacy by Layla Saad
So You Wanna Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo
PODCASTS:
1619
Pod For The Cause
Seeing White
WATCH:
13th on Netflix
When They See Us on Netflix
ARTICLES/GUIDES:
Anti-Racism Resource Guide
Stop Saying All Lives Matter
75 Things White People Can Do For Racial Justice
Welcome To The Anti-Racist Movement - Here’s What You Missed.
Dear White Women
How To Talk To Kids About Race
COURSES:
Spiritual Activism 101 by Rachel Ricketts
The Great Unlearn by Rachel Cargle
ACTIONS:
Text “Floyd” to 55156 to sign a petition a demand justice for George Floyd
Sign-up at Color of Change: https://colorofchange.org/ to be notified of more opportunities to take action
DONATE:
George Floyd Memorial Fund: https://www.gofundme.com/f/georgefloyd
Minnesota Freedom Fund: https://minnesotafreedomfund.org/
Black Visions Collective: https://www.blackvisionsmn.org/
Campaign Zero: https://www.joincampaignzero.org/
Black Lives Matter: https://www.Blacklivesmatter.com
Approval addiction is when your self worth is defined by other people’s opinions of you. When you can only feel worthy or good enough when other people SHOW their approval.
Approval addicts need validation from external sources in order to feel enough and ANY criticism proves they are NOT worthy.
In today’s episode, I’m sharing
~ the MANY different ways approval addiction shows up for people (people pleasing, hiding, attention seeking, etc)
~ the 3 steps to break an addiction to other people’s approval
~ 4 tips you can use immediately while you’re learning to accept yourself without the need for approval/praise.
Apply for my 1:1 coaching program where I will teach you how to love and accept yourself forever.
You are WORTHY of liking your self and your life. I can help you create that. Fill out an application to work with me in my 6-month 1:1 coaching program.
I hear it all the time: I get the concept of self love...it just feels hard.
Of COURSE it does.
You were born into and have bought into a society that persistently teaches you that you aren’t enough.
You have been taught since childhood that getting the approval of others is what decided whether you were worthy.
And you have been taught that other people’s opinions matter more than yours.
Of COURSE it feels hard...it’s like learning a brand new language.
The good news is...if you can learn a new language you can learn self love.
The trick is baby steps:
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Acceptance of what IS
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Self LIKE and/or appreciation
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Self love
It IS possible. You can like yourself and your life.
Click to apply for my 1:1 coaching program
Join the FB group
We all have a voice that chatters away in our heads. For most of us, that voice is...not the nicest. It’s not really pointing out our successes...it’s reminding us of our flaws.
THIS is why we numb out. To quiet the voice. But all numbing out does is make the voice come back louder.
In today’s episode we’re learning
~ what the inner critic is and how it shows up
~ why we are so resistant to changing our inner critic
~ why being hard on yourself doesn’t prevent you from being lazy
~ the two simple steps to change your inner MEAN boss to a GOOD boss
Apply for coaching with Kristen
Join the FB group
Your brain is a powerful machine that has been programmed by YOU for your entire life. You have chosen the thoughts that have led to the feelings that have created the actions that have created the reality you have right now. Which means...if you want to change your life, you MUST change your brain.
In today’s episode I’m sharing the 5 steps that will allow you to rewire your brain for happiness. Also, I’m giving you a heads up on the 4 most common reasons people give up before the brain changes (and how to move past them).
If you want to create what you WANT, you have to have awareness of what’s keeping you stuck.
In part 3 of How to Change Your Life series, I’m sharing the 7 most COMMON thought patterns that people think that keep them creating
Listen to today’s episode and find out which pattern (or patterns) is keeping YOU stuck.
If you want to work with Kristen, fill out an application and schedule a call for info.
Join the FB community.
Apply for my 1:1 coaching program
Join my Fb group
We’ve been programmed to believe that willpower and grit and pushing through and taking action is what’s going to create success.
But, no.
I mean, what you do DOES matter, but what you THINK matters more.
Because what you THINK creates how you FEEL.
And how you FEEL dictates what you DO.
If you are constantly moving through your life beating yourself up, being hard on yourself, focusing on feeling BAD to motivate yourself, you’re going to burn out.
Your THOUGHTS will create your reality.
Today I’m sharing why:
~ all circumstances are neutral
~ what you THINK is always a choice
~ what you think will create a FEELING
~ what you FEEL will dictate your behaviors, actions and habits
Apply for my 1:1 coaching program here.
Connect with me on FB or IG
You cannot create lasting lifelong changes if you keep thinking the same way you’re thinking now.
In order to change your life, you must change your thoughts.
In order to do THAT, you need to understand WHY your thinking matters and HOW your thinking actually does create your reality.
In part one of How To Change Your Life, I’m sharing:
~ why it feels hard to create real change that lasts
~ why most people aren't able to create the real change they want in a sustainable way.
~ what the conscious + subconscious minds ARE and why they matter
~ why what you hold in your subconscious is either creating what you WANT or what you DON’T want.
~ why your thoughts matter MORE than the actions you’re taking
Apply for my 1:1 coaching program
Join the Show Up and Love Facebook group
This episode is NOT just for people in neurodiverse relationships, it will help ANYONE in ANY relationship.
When my husband was diagnosed with Aspergers 5 years into our marriage, I googled "married to someone with Aspergers". The stories and articles that came up were completely discouraging. Everything said that these neurodiverse relationships don't usually work, but if they DO work, the neurotypical partner is going to face a life of suffering and sacrificing.
Ummmm...no thank you.
I decided that was not going to be MY story. I decided that was not good enough for me. I believe that life is meant to be lived FULLY, not just survived.
And so I decided that WE would create our OWN narrative. WE would be the example of what is POSSIBLE in a neurodiverse relationship.
And that's what we did. But the way we did it was NOT the way most people were suggesting because what other people were suggesting wasn't working. After spending SO many hours having conversations about communication that went nowhere, we did it differently.
Today I'm sharing the 6 things I STOPPED doing that allowed us to transform our marriage and create a neurodiverse relationship that isn't just surviving...we're genuinely happy.
Apply for a spot in my 1:1 coaching program
(This bonus episode comes from a FB live in the Show Up and Love Facebook group.)
Just because you are social distancing, just because you are working from home, just because the world outside looks DIFFERENT...YOUR LIFE IS STILL HAPPENING.
In this quick bonus episode I share why it's SO important to keep showing up for your SELF and your LIFE and how to do that, when you feel so much uncertainty.
Apply for 1:1 coaching program
Join the FB group
Right now the world feels overwhelming.
It feels heavy.
It feels uncertain.
And YES there are very bad and serious things happening in the world right now, but not EVERY moment needs to feel dark.
The Universe is created in a principle of balance. Yin and yang. Light AND dark. Good AND bad. There is uncertainty AND hope.
In today's episode of Show Up and Love, I'm sharing:
~ why reality is starting to set in for so many
~ why your brain wants to focus on what's going WRONG, what's "bad", what's scary
~ why it's the best time to get your hopes up
~ why you have to actively and mindfully choose different THOUGHTS in order to shift out of the dark
Join the Show Up and Love FB group
Schedule a call to learn about working with Kristen 1:1
During this coronavirus pandemic, particularly at the BEGINNING of this situation, there tend to be a lot of feelings. A LOT of feelings.
And our human nature is to AVOID these feelings or JUDGE these feelings or try to FIX these feelings. The problem with that is that it only prolongs the suffering.
In today's mini bonus episode (recorded during a FB live in the Show Up and Love FB group), I talk about how the first step to moving forward and handling ALL these feelings is to SURRENDER to the feelings.
Surrendering doesn't mean give up or give in. It means compassionately allowing yourself to just FEEL what you feel and just BE where you are.
Today I'm sharing 5 questions that I use to shift my mindset from anxiety to confidence, from fear to calm.
Schedule a free call to learn about working with Kristen
Join the Fb group
I've heard from so many people that things are starting to feel REAL. The initial shock is wearing off and the fear is setting in.
But we are in a LONG game and the self care needs to begin NOW.
Today I'm sharing how we can feel the feelings without drowning in them. How we can FEEL the fear without being CONSUMED by the FEAR.
~ Fact thinking vs Story thinking
~ Clean pain vs dirty pain
~ How to pace yourself for the long game (tread and float, tread and float)
Join the Show Up and Love Facebook group for coaching and community and connection.
www.kristenfinch.com
Most of the world is social distancing and finding that without the daily commutes and busy-ness, we have more time. More time with our minds and more time with our homes.
So, how do we take advantage of this time?
I asked feng shui expert Amanda Gibby Peters for the three things SHE is recommending to lift the vibration of your home. (And you'll be surprised at the one thing she's NOT recommending people do right now).
I also added the three things I believe will help us thrive during this uncertain time.
ALSO BIG ANNOUNCEMENT...Amanda and I have a podcast that is releasing tomorrow (March 19th) called A Life Coach and Feng Shui Expert Walk Into A Bar. It's full of aha moments and laughter. Make sure you are subscribed so you are notified when it's available. It's a GREAT thing to binge on while you're stepping away from social media!
Join the Show Up and Love Facebook group here.
Click here to learn about working with Kristen 1:1
Subscribe to A Life Coach and Feng Shui Expert Walk Into A Bar
What's true is that we ARE in a time of uncertainty.
What's TRUE is that we don't know what life is going to look like in a year or 6 months or 6 days.
What's TRUE is that there is a global pandemic that we are not experts in yet.
That is where we ARE right now and, aside from what we know to slow it down (hand washing, social distancing, etc), the incessant thinking and worrying and STRESSING about it is NOT helpful.
You aren't solving the problem, you are WORRYING.
Your worrying isn't making you feel better, it's making you feel WORSE.
The most effective thing you can be doing for yourself right now is taking care of your MENTAL health.
We need to not have a gazillion humans sitting in their homes panicking.
That is hard on your physical health AND your mental health.
If you are a listener of this podcast or a follower of my work I have TAUGHT you how to stay calm even during a pandemic.
You KNOW what to do.
Now you need to DO it.
This episode is a call to action...how do you want to see yourself when you LOOK BACK on this moment in history?
Join the free FB group for additional support.
I was talking to a client today who was trying to convince me that worrying was justified right now because of the state of the world.
I disagree completely.
Worrying is never a productive use of our time. And worrying happens because we want to AVOID the uncomfortableness of anxiety and fear.
Worrying does not solve problems. It creates more of the same.
In today's bonus episode:
~ why FEELING the fear is more productive than FIXING it
~ why worrying is an ACTION that comes from AVOIDING fear
~ how to find the THOUGHT that is creating the ACTION of worrying
~ how to choose a thought that will allow you to take ACTION without having to worry
Join the Show Up and Love free Facebook community here for coaching and connection.
Right now, we are living in a time of uncertainty.
Our brains do NOT like uncertainty.
Our brains want to know what's going to happen.
So when we are in a time of uncertainty, our brains think they need MORE information, ALL the information in order to feel safe.
I promise you that all of the consuming and all of the worrying and all of the panicking is NOT making you feel safer...it's making you feel like there's MORE.
If you want to feel calm, you need to calm down your body so you can access the logical part of your brain.
THIS will help significantly more than consuming the news.
Today I want to share with you how to find CALM even when the world is upside down.
I will be offering free coaching in my Show Up and Love community as close to daily as possible. Click here to join. If you don't have FB but want access to those coaching calls, email support@kristenfinch.com and I'll add you to the list to be notified. Calls will be on zoom.
Learn about working with Kristen 1:1 (don't wait! 1 spot open!)
Join the Show Up and Love Facebook group
There are a lot of habits I've implemented over the last 10 years that have transformed my life. Some have stuck around for awhile and some have gotten dropped.
Today I'm sharing the top 5 habits I practice every single day that I believe are responsible for creating:
a happy marriage
a happy +healthy relationship with my body, food and exercise
an uncluttered home
a fantastic relationship with my kids (even though they're teenagers!)
a thriving and successful business
and a general overall feeling of CALM, HAPPY, and LOVE in my life.
My life isn't perfect but OMGOSH I'm in love with it because of these 5 NON NEGOTIABLE daily habits:
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Journaling (my specific way)
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Daily movement
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Timeblocking
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Gratitude
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Evening routine
Set up a free call to see if 1:1 coaching with Kristen is the right fit for you.
Join the Show Up and Love FB group
In today's episode
~ I share how I transformed my entire life even though my entire life felt like a dumpster fire
~ The 2 things people mistakenly think they need in order to start making changes in their life, but DON'T (a plan and a guarantee)
~ Why COMMITMENT is all you need to create the life (marriage, habits, change) you want.
~ How to create a game-changing EVEN WHEN list (a list of excuses your brain will come up with to sabotage your success)
Learn more about working 1:1 with Kristen
Join the Show Up and LOVE FB group
Connect on IG
In this episode:
~What does manifesting actually mean?
~ The myths and misconceptions about manifesting
~ Why you are already a MASTER manifester
~ The 6 steps to Manifesting On Purpose
~ Three quick tips to enhance the manifesting process
Learn more about working with Kristen
Join the FB group
In this episode:
~ What is the Worthy Ladder? It's a visual representation of how you measure up as a human being. You go UP, you're more worthy, you make mistakes....down you go.
~ Why we believe that our worthiness goes up and down based on our behaviors or others' opinions.
~ How do we know when we're ON the worthy ladder? (perfectionism, people pleasing, anxiety, hopelessness, being confused "I don't know" syndrome, lots of mind chatter, comparing ourselves to others
~ What is the SOLUTION? HOW do we stop believing our worth is based on external factors?
~ What changes when we know THERE IS NO LADDER? Absolutely EVERYTHING.
Learn about working with Kristen 1:1
Join the Show Up and Love Facebook group
Connect on Instagram
Learn more.
In this episode:
~ Why it's not actually the failure that you're afraid of
~ How fear of failure is affecting your day to day life (whether you're working on a "big" goal or not)
~ The three steps of "becoming friends" with failure: 1) recognize it when it shows up 2)Welcome and allow it 3) Fail. On Purpose. A lot.
www.kristenfinch.com
Come meet some gorgeous souls in the Show Up and Love Facebook group
In this episode:
~ Why your STORY is what's keeping you stuck
~ The 2 types of stories (and how to recognize them): Victim story and empowered story
~ WHY we hold onto our victim stories?
~ HOW to create and LIVE in our empowered story
Join the free Show Up and Love Facebook group
Curious about working with Kristen? Click here.
In this episode:
~ Self Worth is the belief that you are good enough no matter what.
~ Why I believe making Self Love/Self Worth your #1 priority will make your whole life better
~ Why you believe your worthiness is dependent on external things in the first place.
~ How to get off the Worthy Ladder (Hint: There is no ladder)
~ 10 Ways Your Life Will Change When You Know Your Worth.
Curious about working with me? I KNOW you know what to do...I can just help you do it quicker. And funner. ;)
Join the Show Up and Love Facebook group
Over the weekend, a client of mine (whom I've been working with for more than 5 years now) shared with me the tool that was the MOST transformative one for her was one of my FAVORITE and SIMPLEST tools: Do it sh!tty.
Here's why it's so simple...because we've been taught that life is complicated. That creating new things is complicated. That changing your body or your marriage or your job or your life is complicated.
But here's what I think...I think it's actually that you're afraid to try and do it wrong.
You think you have to have it ALL figured out before you TRY.
You think you need to have all the steps of the plan set in stone so it's fool proof.
And what I know is all this perfectionist mindset does is keep you stuck.
Today I want to share my favorite and simplest tool: Stop trying to do it perfectly...just do it sh!tty.
Apply to work 1:1 with Kristen
Join the Show UP and Love FB group.
"Things are getting better, but still not great."
"I feel much better, but I'm not remembering to work on my goal every day."
It seems like you're just answering the question honestly, right? But as a coach I am sifting through my client's words trying to find what's keeping them STUCK.
Sometimes it's like I'm sifting through rubble trying to find a key.
And sometimes, it's EASY to find it. Because they use the word BUT.
Work with me in 2020
Join the Show Up and Love Facebook Group
Today I'm taking you through my Top 10 list of things to QUIT in 2020.
Here they are:
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Assuming you know what people are thinking
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Quit thinking/doing/choosing anything that doesn't serve who you are Becoming.
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Trying to PROVE your worth
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Survival mode
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Instant gratification
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Living in the past or the future
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Trying to hate/punish your way to feeling better
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Being confused
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Believing ANYONE OR ANYTHING besides YOU is responsible for your happiness.
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Thinking you need to "figure this out" on your own.
Talk to Kristen about coaching in 2020
Now that we've set some gorgeous goals, let's talk about how to STICK to them. Here are 4 tips:
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Write them down daily
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Put actions on your daily calendar (and honor your commitments to yourself)
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Develop a "never give up" mindset and redefine your definition of failure
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Unlearn the beliefs that created the results you didn't want
Sign up for Gorgeous Souls Gorgeous Goals workshop on Dec 30th. (If you can't make it live, you'll get the recording)
Learn more about working with Kristen
The reason why traditional goals don't work for the majority of people is because they aren't meaningful and they are based in "not enough-ness".
Let's turn goal writing on it's head. The reason you want anything is because of how it will make you feel. So instead of a quantitative goal (I will lose ## pounds, I will make ## money, I will go on 3 dates a week, etc)...we set FEELING goals.
Today's episode is HOW.
Schedule a free consult call with Kristen
Join the Show Up and Love Facebook group
Register for the Gorgeous Souls Gorgeous Goals goal setting workshop
We are two weeks from a brand new decade. If you are ready to level up, there are two things you need to do:
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Decide what you need to leave behind in 2019
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Decide who you are BECOMING and how you want to FEEL.
If you want to change how you feel, you've can't keep doing the same things over and over and expecting something new.
In today's episode Kristen is discussing how to change your frequency so you are vibrating at the reality you want to create.
Schedule a consult with Kristen
Join the Show Up and Love Facebook group
How much of your life is spent waking up, going through the motions, and then going to bed?
That's because you aren't living on PURPOSE.
You're living in survival mode. You're waiting for life to get easier, for the husband to change, for the money to come in, for the kids to get older until you feel like you can slow down and live your life.
Except that's not going to happen.
Because your brain is habitually running in survival mode, so there won't BE a time that it feels safe to just enjoy.
Most of us learned at an early age that life is hard, to not get our hopes up, to not get too comfortable when things are going well because something bad is JUST around the corner.
Except MOST of the time, everything is fine. It's likely that just 1% of your life requires you living in survival mode, but your brain is SO afraid of that 1% that it just lives in survival mode ALL the time...just to be safe.
And so we all walk around on autopilot. Just going through the motions. Living a FINE life in survival mode...just in case.
Today's episode I will teach you:
~ the definition of survival mode
~ why you spend most of your time in survival mode
~ how to shift out of survival mode and shift into living a life on PURPOSE.
Work with Kristen
Join the Show Up and Love Facebook group!
We hear over and over how important it is to practice self care. And that's TRUE.
But all the meditation, yoga, healthy eating, massages, and spa days in the world won't make you feel better LONG term if you don't know your WORTH.
Today, Kristen shares the WHY self care is the band aid and self LOVE is the cure.
Apply to work with me
Join the interest list for goal setting workshop
"I used to be happy"
"I've lost my sparkle"
"I used to be fun"
If you've thought these thoughts before this episode is for YOU. Today I'm sharing WHY we seem to go from sparkly/happy/fun to a dulled down version of ourselves and how to move out of it and become the next SPARKLIER version.
Ready to level up to version 2.0 in 2020? Click right here.
Join the Show Up and Love facebook group
What if every time something went "wrong" you decided to believe it was exactly right?
What if instead of taking things going wrong as a sign to quit, you believed it was a sign to keep going?
If you start goals and then stop them when something happens (you get sick, kids get sick, job changes, you have a bad day, you get in a fight with your partner, an unexpected bill shows up), THIS episode is for you.
Join the fun + free Show Up and LOVE FB group!!
Connect with the AWESOME Megan Ladd on Instagram or at her website: www.megan-ladd.com
Today's episode is a conversation about one of my FAVORITE topics...how to SUFFER LESS and ADD MORE JOY with one of my FAVORITE people, Megan Ladd.
It's such a fun conversation and I'll be adding some more of our conversation in the FB group!
Work with Me
Connect on FB or IG
Today let's dive into a deeper understanding of energy and vibration.
Woo!
I'd love your input on what you like and how I can make this podcast better for YOU. Click here for a quick survey!
Click here to learn how to create a life you loooooove, friend.
Today is the ONE YEAR BIRTHDAY of Show Up and Love. I love making this podcast as much today as I did when I started a year ago.
I want to share with you 6 beliefs that I believe are a part of a strong foundation to build a life you feel empowered in.
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I am way more powerful than I can imagine.
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Everything is happening FOR me.
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Lighten up.
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I can handle anything.
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What would the person I'm BECOMING do?
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What if it TOTALLY works?
Enjoy today's episode.
xoxo,
kristen
Click here for free 60-minute consult
We all think we're right. It's just how we're wired. We all believe that all of our thoughts are true and good.
ALL OF US.
Even people who think differently than you. Even people who are on the opposite end of the spectrum as you.
So when you're in a relationship with someone who thinks differently than you, it's easy to make them wrong and you right. It's easy for both sides to dig their heels in...and this is where relationships fall apart.
Today on Show Up and Love, I'm talking about the KEY SKILL you need to get better at to improve your relationships AND be happier in general: listening.
You MUST become a better listener if you want to be happier in your relationships and in your life.
If you enjoy please subscribe, rate and review.
You don't have to figure this out on your own and you DON'T have to keep sludging through life trying to figure it out on your own. I can help you. Book a free call.
Every time you water yourself down to try and fit into what other people think you SHOULD be, you dilute your power.
People pleasing occurs when you think you need other people to be HAPPY in order for you to be happy...when you need other people to validate you in order for you to be worthy.
Today I'm going to teach you why people pleasing will NEVER lead you to where you want to be and HOW to stop so you can become you you're meant to be.
Download the manifesto
Work with me
Connect on FB or IG
Every year on my birthday I like to reflect on the past year...I celebrate the things that went well, I notice the things that didn't and I look forward to see what I want to create next.
Several years ago, I wrote a manifesto of the things I had learned for SURE. I look back at that every year and even though it's been tweaked a bit here and there, the foundational truths remain the same.
In today's episode I'm sharing with you the THOUGHTS and BELIEFS that serve as my SOLID foundation. No matter what else is going on and no matter how confusing life feels...these thoughts remain true.
For fun, I wrote them down and made the manifesto available for you too! Enjoy!
If this podcast inspires you, imagine what working together would be like...me picking you up, dusting you off and lovingly SHOVING you towards the life you are head over heel in love with. CLICK HERE to book your free call.
Connect with me on Instagram and Facebook
SO many people think that ACCEPTANCE is giving up. That it's just throwing in the towel and learning to "accept" something you don't like.
But it's the opposite. Acceptance is what allows us to have room to change.
Listen in to today's bite sized nugget bonus
If this podcast inspires you, imagine what working together would be like...me picking you up, dusting you off and lovingly SHOVING you towards the life you are head over heel in love with. CLICK HERE to book your free call.
Connect with me on Instagram and Facebook
If this podcast inspires you, imagine what working together would be like...me picking you up, dusting you off and lovingly SHOVING you towards the life you are head over heel in love with. CLICK HERE to book your free call.
Connect with me on Instagram and Facebook
TODAY ON SHOW UP AND LOVE:
I get asked about my marriage ALL. THE. TIME.
How did we go from mess to happy?
How do we make a neurodiverse marriage work?
What do we talk about?
Today...I sat down with my husband Dave and pressed record and we had a FUN (and very real) conversation about how we show up differently and how we make it work.
What I love about this episode is that for YEARS I didn't believe that we'd ever get back to this place...where we could talk and laugh and our relationship felt light and fun.
If this is where you are right now or even if things are fine but you're always down to learn some new relationship advice, listen in. We've got some ideas about the work that ACTUALLY pays off.
I LOVE to feel inspired. It's in my top 3 favorite ways to feel.
And most of my life it felt fleeting, like it was totally out of my control.
When it came I was excited, but then I started wondering how long it would last and when it passed I wondered when it would come again.
But I realized something a few years ago...I am TOTALLY responsible for feeling inspired.
I don't have to wait for it or hope for it.
I get to GET it. On PURPOSE.
What would it be like if you CHOSE to feel the way you wanted to feel EVERY day in October?
SO FUN, right?
LINKS:
The quickest and FUNNEST way to do this is to get yourself a life coach. They know exactly how to get you there. I happen to know an EXCELLENT one. And she has this free call she offers where she talks to people who are interested in working with her ....can you BELIEVE that? I mean...it's a no brainer, right? She sounds really nice. You'll love her, click here.
Book a free call with me (you don't have to do this alone!!)
Do you want to be happy or do you want to be right?
I ask this question of my clients ALL the time.
I ask this question of myself EVERY DAY.
If you want to be happy, you might have to give up the belief that every thought you think is right.
You might have to give up the control that other people who are doing things DIFFERENTLY than you, are wrong.
Today's episode is all about this question, why we ALL struggle with it, where it comes from and how to move through it...how to be happy and wrong or right or all of the above.
Schedule a time to talk to Kristen
FUN playlist
For YEARS, I believed my husband was doing everything wrong.
For YEARS, I believe that my body was ALL wrong.
For YEARS, I believed that my life was hard, I was too busy, I was alone, I wasn't supported.
And do you know what happened when I believed those things?
My brain ran off to prove them all true.
The more I looked for reasons to resent my husband, the more I found.
The more I compared my body to what was "good", the more I came up short.
We absolutely find what we look for.
That's how our brains are designed.
So if you want to change ANYTHING, you've got to change what you're LOOKING for.
Today's episode I'll show you how you're probably doing this in your own life, how I did this in MY own life and how I turned it around.
Let's TALK! Schedule a free call
Email: kristen@kristenfinch.com
How many times a day do you get triggered?
Your heart starts racing, your breathing gets irregular, you feel like you want to fight or run or disappear.
That, my friend, is your fight/flight response and it's SUPER handy when you're being threatened by a gorilla enemy (you have to listen to understand this reference hahahaha!).
It's NOT super handy when you're just trying to feel better in your life, change some things for the better.
It is not good for your health or your life to be spending so much time feeling triggered...especially when the threat isn't even real.
In today's episode I'm talking to you about what actually happens in the body when you're triggered...
How to recognize YOUR specific response (are you a fighter or a runner?)
And what to do to get yourself OUT of that panicky place.
Enjoy this episode!
WORK WITH ME
CONNECT ON FB
INSTAGRAM STORIES ARE SO FUN!
Email me: kristen@kristenfinch.com
It's the title of the podcast, but WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
Today, I'm breaking it down.
What it means to ME to show up and love is to NOT water myself down, NOT drag myself through life in survival mode, NOT stay stuck because it's easier than doing the work of changing.
And how do we move from where we are NOW to showing up and LOVING our lives?
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We soothe our nervous systems
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We decide what we WANT and how we want to FEEL
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We find someone who's already DOING it and get into their mind
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We take the first step.
Schedule a consult
Connect on FB and IG
Email: kristen@kristenfinch.com
If you are a person who gets stuck in their heads....gets stuck in making the decisions...gets stuck in the planning phase...this episode is going to be like a LIGHTBULB over your head.
Here's what I'm sharing today.
Why you aren't taking action:
1. too much consuming
2. believing your excuses
3. afraid of failure
4. fear of the finality of a decision
AND how to START taking action:
1. Go cold turkey on the consuming
2. Challenge yourself to NOT believe the excuses
3. Fail. Try. Fail. Try. Fail. Succeed.
4. Stop being so precious
Enjoy
Email me
Schedule a free consult.
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That's everywhere. I LOVE YOU.
It's back to school time and that means...we get back to some order and structure and semblance in our lives!
Can I get an amennnnn???
I used to make progress on the goals that I set for myself. SOME progress. Rarely, did I ever see a goal through alllll the way to the "after" picture.
Not true anymore. Now, I know that when I sit down and set a mindful goal, I will achieve that goal.
Here's why:
I only focus on ONE GOAL AT A TIME.
Just one thing.
It is absolutely why I am able to achieve my goals and it's why my clients achieve there's also.
Today I'm sharing WHY focusing on JUST ONE THING is much more effective and efficient than having multiple goals at a time.
To get my nuggets of inspiration via email...click here.
To connect on IG....click here.
And when you're ready to create a life you LOOOOVE, baby...click here.
LOVE the bonus episode!!
Make sure you are subscribed because I might just release bonus episode whenever the mood strikes.
To get my nuggets of inspiration via email...click here.
To connect on IG....click here.
And when you're ready to create a life you LOOOOVE, baby...click here.
Today I'm excited to talk to you about something I'm SO passionate about and you KNOW I'm so passionate about it.
It's how to live the MOST out of your life so that you can get to the end of it and think "YES! I DID THAT!" instead of reaching it with regrets.
You know that everything I teach comes back to this: your life is quick, your life is precious. STOP WAITING for external circumstances to change.
So let's go through the 5 regrets of the dying...the people who are ON their death beds, looking back with a new perspective...what do THEY wish they'd done differently.
And then let's DO that. Instead of waiting, let's start living that way now.
Ok?
Ok.
For inspiration like THIS delivered to your inbox, sign up here.
Ready to stop waiting? Click HERE.
Many years ago I started working on setting boundaries. And what I realized while I was struggling with WHY it was so hard was that it wasn't the boundaries themselves that were hard, it was the relationship I had with the word NO.
I realized that I was afraid to SAY no...I didn't want to let anyone down, saying no to things was selfish.
But I was ALSO afraid to HEAR no...it meant rejection, it meant I was putting someone else in a difficult situation.
In today's episode I share four of the mindset shifts that I've worked on over the years to redefine my relationship with the word no.
As a recovering people pleaser it doesn't come naturally to me, but learning how to change my thinking has allowed me to set better boundaries and take excellent care of myself.
If you love this podcast, please leave a review. This helps other women find this support.
Book a free consult with me here.
Have an idea for a topic? Email me at kristen@kristenfinch.com
We all are souls having a human experience.
None of us are here to just survive it, to just go through the motions before we die.
We all want to love our lives. We all want to LIKE our lives. But because we've never been taught how to manage our thoughts, most of us tell our story from the victim role.
Today I'm sharing 5 touchstones that I go back to over and over again so that at the end of my life I can be the HEROINE of my story.
I want to get to the end and LOVE my life and LIKE my life.
I want to feel BETTER every day.
LINKS:
Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
Schedule a free coaching consultation
Lets connect on FB and Instagram
(PART TWO)
I recently spent 4 days in Dallas with Amanda Gibby Peters. She's a feng shui expert and the creator of Simple Shui©, a modern-day, mission-driven, love-based practice of feng shui. Also, my bff and someone who's work has changed my life.
We were having such amazing conversations about energy and clutter and WHY it really really REALLY matters to get clutter out of your space and we spontaneously decided to grab a microphone and record the conversation for you.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say that part two is even juicer.
Here's what we're talking in part TWO:
~ Why even though feng shui isn't about decluttering, it's a very necessary first step
~ Why sage and crystals and cures aren't doing what you want them to do
~ The thought shift I experienced that CHANGED the way I looked at my house and how I take care of it.
~ 3 SIMPLE ways to start clearing your clutter TODAY
To learn more about Amanda's brilliant work, go to www.simpleshui.com or book a free 15 minute consult here.
Ready to level up, break through ruts, create a life you're head over heels in love with, book a free consult with me here.
Today is part one of a 2 part conversation.
I recently spent 4 days in Dallas with Amanda Gibby Peters. She's a feng shui expert and the creator of Simple Shui©, a modern-day, mission-driven, love-based practice of feng shui. Also, my bff and someone who's work has changed my life.
We were having such amazing conversations about energy and clutter and WHY it really really REALLY matters to get clutter out of your space and we spontaneously decided to grab a microphone and record the conversation for you.
And this conversation is fire.
Here's what we cover in part one:
-
Why your clutter REALLY matters
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Why CLUTTER may be the reason you aren't reaching your goals or keep giving up
-
How to start clearing clutter TODAY.
-
What to do if the people you live with aren't on board.
It's SO good. I can't wait to hear what you think.
To learn more about Amanda's brilliant work, go to www.simpleshui.com or book a free 15 minute consult here.
Ready to level up, break through ruts, create a life you're head over heels in love with, book a free consult with me here.
I woke up feeling anxious and overwhelmed the other day and my FIRST instinct was to grab my phone and start scrolling...AKA numbing out.
It's hardwired in me. For YEARS I used numbing out with food, wine, my phone, Netflix as the way of taking care of myself.
But numbing out is NOT self care.
So today, 10 ways to STOP numbing out.
Schedule a free call with me:
www.kristenfinch.com/workwithme
or HERE
Email: kristen@kristenfinch.com
Today I'm talking all about the feminine energy. What it is, why it matters SO much right now that we connect with it and HOW to tap into it.
So many of us have bought into the belief that feminine energy is weak, delicate, vulnerable, sacrificing. And so it felt quite UNSAFE to be a feminine energy in a highly masculine world.
Today I want to help you turn that idea on it's head. Why tapping into the feminine energy is SO important right now and I'll give you 10 different ways to start.
Book a free consult to talk about coaching. I can walk with you on this journey. You are not alone.
This week I had all sorts of people texting me "Did you hear the new Taylor Swift song?"
It's not because I'm a huge Taylor Swift fan.
It's cuz she stole my line.
What I talk about ALL the time: you need to calm TF down so you can lighten TF up.
If you want your life to feel less heavy...if you want to NOT be triggered every day all day...if you want to feel FREE and LIGHT...you've GOT to learn to calm yourself.
Calm your body, calm your mind and you'll be able to lighten up.
Email me at kristen@kristenfinch.com
Instagram (I'm just there for the stories, if I'm being honest)
Schedule a free consult to REALLY learn how to calm down/lighten up/love your one precious life.
I've been writing love letters...quick little poems...to the women in my membership community for 5 years and SO often I hear back from them, "THIS is exactly what I needed to hear today".
So in today's episode of Show Up and Love, I thought I'd pick a random love letter and read it to you, talk about it for a few minutes because I'm guessing it might just be what YOU needed to hear today.
Today's topic? STOP TRYING TO CONTROL THINGS THAT ARE OUT OF YOUR CONTROL! Like other people's thoughts, opinions and actions.
Stay in YOUR lane, stay in your life.
Spread the love...share this episode with someone you love who needs to hear this today.
And then, get your cute booty on my calendar so we can stop waiting and start creating a life you are head over heels in love with.
Click here for a free consult...where you're tell me all the things and then I'll tell you all the things and then we'll make a plan.
Email me at kristen@kristenfinch.com
Connect with me on FB
or Instagram (where I mostly hang out in the stories!)
I'm a transformation junkie. I've been upleveling all the different areas of my life for over a decade now, and what I know for sure is that it's not what you DO that leads to change...it's what you think.
In today's episode of Show Up and Love, I'm sharing 9 of my favorite thoughts that I have practiced believing that have led to my own transformations.
Enjoy!
Ready to see what can happen in a year? Click here.
Say hi on FB
Connect with me on Instagram
You’ve no doubt heard or seen the phrase “good vibes only” at some point in your life. But maybe you’ve never really thought about what that means.
Today we’re going to dip into the concept of energy, frequency and vibrations. What “high vibes” or “good vibes” actually means, WHY it’s important to always be striving to raise your vibration.
And then? I’m going to give you TEN things that can raise your vibration NOW, mama. Because life’s too short to wait to feel better. Raise your vibration and feel happier, calmer, better.
Free consult: https://kristenfinch.as.me/freeconsult
Spotify playlist: https://open.spotify.com/user/12122965817/playlist/6TrJO4dYCdXbcIK4qLQRHM?si=T3AgFiDARI-48Es-Ty3Olg
www.facebook.com/kristenfinch10
www.instagram.com/kristenfinch10
Youtube
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW3GBpWPPwcs36oYBgBVkow?view_as=subscriber
Ready for your AHA moment today?
You one have one life. One big go around this planet. How are you gonna spend it? If you’re like most people, you’re spending time thinking your circumstances need to change before you can be happier: wishing things were different…a smaller waist, a lovey dovey partner, kids that can take care of themselves.
I get it.
But here’s the thing: your circumstances don’t create your feelings. Your THOUGHTS do. How you think about the size of your body, the way you think about your partner and your kids…THAT is what will change your life.
It’s possible to feel happier or calmer or better NOW…without ANY external circumstance needing to change.
Once you get that…once you learn HOW to change your mindset, your life will change for the better.
Let’s keep the conversation going! Connect with me on FB or IG. And if you know you want to make this change, but you’re afraid, click here and we’ll have a chat.
So you set a goal and things aren’t going as planned.
The scale is at a standstill no matter how much you exercise, couple’s counseling is causing more blow-ups than resolutions, spring cleaning has created a bigger mess than when you started…
Before you throw in the towel, listen to this.
Every time we give up on our promises, it pulls us down. That’s why I’m urging you to keep going, even when bad things happen. Life just isn’t unicorns and rainbows. But we can add unicorns and rainbows when we decide to stay dedicated! Today I’m sharing how to get over roadblocks to achieve your goals.
Can we pinky promise, right here, right now that you will never give up on yourself again? If you need me to help, you know where to find me. Let’s talk. Set up your free consultation here: https://kristenfinch.as.me/freeconsult
Let’s Connect:
Youtube
kristen@kristenfinch.com
I have 1 word for you Gorgeous Soul...breathe!
That’s right I’m taking a page from the yogi’s handbook today because I think there’s enough messages out there telling you what you need to do change. I’m a little guilty of this myself, I LOVE transformation. But transformation can become a burden if we let it.
So today I’m giving your psyche the extra TLC it needs to calm down and find peace. Because the honestly, even if nothing changes in your life you’ll be okay. My hope is after listening to this episode you’ll be one step closer to believing that.
Free consult: https://kristenfinch.as.me/freeconsult
Let's connect on social:
Youtube
Why is making decisions SO hard for some people? Well…if you’re like my son Parker, you are terrified of making the wrong decision. You take everyone’s feelings into consideration and let that fear of disappointing people get in the way of what you really want. As a mom, I push Parker to lean into his intuition… and as your life coach bestie I’m gonna do the same with you.
Change happens one little decision at a time. I know this because I transformed my life by making better decisions. Today I’m going to share how I make quick and empowered decisions, what I consider, what I dismiss, and how I move past fear.
If you're ready to take fear out of the driver's seat and make empowered decisions, I can help. Start here.
If I had a dollar for every time I said "I'm great at STARTING things...just not finishing them" I'd be a gazillionaire. For real.
I was the queen of starting and not finishing, of getting excited to start a new habit and giving up a few days later, of telling myself I'm going to DO it this time and never following through.
I believed that's just who I was always going to be. Until I had enough and learned how to FOLLOW THROUGH. I learned how to change my mindset so that I became a woman who almost always finishes what I start.
Today's episode is for YOU if you looooove the beginnings but never see it through to the end.
Also? If this is you...ENOUGH. You deserve to keep your promises to yourself. You deserve to take care of yourself and change the habits you want to change. I can help. Click here to get started.
Brace yourself, Gorgeous Souls: This episode is unscripted.
My ideas were getting all tangled up in my head so I decided to ditch the notepad and speak from the heart.
What I REALLY want you to know is this - you can handle anything.
I know that sounds cheesy or cliche, but it’s the truth. You have handled everything so far. Everything. You’ve survived 100% of your bad days. The problem is that you can’t handle things.
The problem is that you THINK you can’t handle things.
The problem is that you don’t BELIEVE in your ability to overcome obstacles, handle a crisis, or make opportunities happen.
You know what’s NOT going to make you feel better? Doubting yourself.
This is not the time to think of all the possible ways you can fail. That way of thinking only brings suffering. What’s more constructive is telling yourself the truth: I can handle ANYTHING. It might not be easy and it might not be fun, but I can DO this.
That’s what I really want you to know. That and I love you and believe in you.
Today I’m going to teach you how to rewire your brain so you can feel better, so you can feel happier, so your life feels easier…all the things you want in your life.
You are a manifestation of your thoughts. Everything in your life…your body, your home, your relationships, your job, your money…is all thanks to thoughts.
And from your thoughts, you’ve made decisions. You might not always love the decisions you’ve made. You might call them mistakes, but in today’s episode, I’m going to challenge that perspective.
Instead of looking at all the things that are wrong…
No Time
No Money
No Help
You have the powerful option to look at all of our choices. You don’t have to wait on your husband to step up. You don’t have to wait for your kids to grow up. You are definitely not waiting to get some time alone because…c’mon. You don’t have to wait to live boldly and authentically! You can END the cycle of misery, guilt and shame.
Let’s dive into the 2 most essential tool you can use to rewire your brain for happiness: setting intentions and gratitude.
Need help with your transformation? Sign up for a free consult here: https://kristenfinch.as.me/freeconsult
Ready to create a life you love? Join my FREE 21 Day Rewire Event starting April 1st: https://bit.ly/2FgIG5J
Hello, friend! This is a bonus episode...just a bite sized nugget of inspiration that I want you to hear...something my heart really wanted to tell you.
I had a FB memory pop up that swooshed me back 8 years to the day my dad went into the hospital for the last time. He lived for 11 more days and in those days, I was reminded AGAIN of why we're on this planet.
It's not just to crawl through life in survival mode. It's not to just get through the days hoping someone or something will change and make life easier so you can finally be happier.
That's just not how it works. No one is going to do that for you.
It's YOUR f'ing life. YOU need to do it.
So today's bonus Bite Sized Nugget is maybe the kick in the pants you need to stop waiting and start living.
Click here to join my FREE 21 day Rewire challenge. It WILL give you a kick in the pants.
Click here if you're interested in working with me 1:1. I can HELP you stop quitting. I can help you get unstuck.
I’ve been coaching for 5 years, but my 1st client was myself. I transformed my entire life…my body, my mind, my relationships, my home, my finances and my career.
And I did it one habit at a time.
I believe you can do the same.
Today I’m sharing my 10 favorite daily habits I used (and STILL use) to create a life I'm really excited to live!
Today can be the day you decide that this isn’t enough anymore. All it takes is changing one area of your life at a time. Once you start changing one area in your life, you’ll experience a snowball effect and change will start rolling into other areas.
I transformed my life by changing how I showed up in my life. I changed my thinking, I changed my mindset. By doing that I changed my daily habits. The truth is changing any part of your life requires you to do things differently in your daily life.
If you're not head over heels in love with your life, let’s change it! Start doing some of these habits, start them today. Need help with your transformation? Sign up for a free consult here: https://kristenfinch.as.me/freeconsult
Ready to create a life you love? Join my FREE 21 Day Restart Event starting April 1st:https://kristenfinch10.lpages.co/rewire/
You’re gonna need a strong cup of coffee for this episode.
This is a really really big topic that I’m excited to talk to you about today. I’ve struggled with this. Every single person who's ever been a client of mine has struggled with this belief about themselves too:
“I never follow through.”
“I start things and never finish them.”
“I always end up giving up.”
Are you a chronic giver upper? Is your goal collecting dust in your mind? Do you have trouble keeping focused on, interested in, or even just remembering your goals? Maybe you’ve accepted that you give up. It’s just a part of who you are.
But what if that’s NOT the person you wanna be?
What if you’re accepting the quitter mentality because you’re afraid to fail. What if your scarcity mindset is getting in the way of a full exciting life? The truth is you CAN complete your goals. All it takes is rewriting the story you’re telling to yourself about yourself.
Let's say it together now, “Our thoughts create our results.”
As the former Queen of Not Following Through I have 8 ways to kick this habit to the curb. Let’s talk about how to become a person who always shows up and never gives up.
If you need help, you know where I am! I’m almost out of spots for 2019. Book a consult here: https://kristenfinch.as.me/freeconsult
Workbook:https://kristenfinch10.lpages.co/stop-giving-up-ep-21/
The science is simple.
Our habits, good or bad, rewire our brains. When we repeat a behavior, like complaining, over and over again it charges those neurological connections to make complaining easier and automatic. The more you complain, the more your brain rewires itself for negativity.
Complaining takes us out of our strongest energy and it doesn’t lead us to answers….only more things to complain about. Complaining doesn’t solve problems, it’s just an attempt by our egos to get some validation.
If complaining is so bad for us, why do we do it? From a young age, we are taught that it’s a socially acceptable way to bond with family, friends, and even strangers. For some of us, we thinking venting will make us feel better.
Let’s be honest, sometimes we want to host a big ole pity party. But there is a way to bond over shared pain that will lead to comfort, and complaining is NOT it.
Complaining is absolutely keeping you from making progress, from achieving the things you want to achieve. This episode is filled with tangible tips that will stop complaining dead in its tracks.
If you're ready to make a transformation in your life, if you're tired of living in survival mode, book a consult with me!
Book a consult: https://kristenfinch.as.me/freeconsult
Email: Kristen@kristenfinch.com
FB: www.facebook.com/kristenfinch10
IG: www.instagram.com/kristenfinch.com
This episode is dedicated to all the Superwomen out there feeling forced to do it all. I see ya girl! You’re tired of working, taking care of kids, cleaning house, volunteering the list goes on with no help from anyone. It’s easy to get stuck in the hamster wheel of the scarcity.
The thought of I have to do this and I have to do that will leave you feeling helpless. Instead of CHOOSING to do these things. Choosing to go to work because you love providing for your family. Choosing to have a clean home because it makes you feel good to be clutter free.
Doesn’t that word change make you feel better? Well, I have more where that came from! Today I’m sharing my tiny mindset shifts that will have you saying bye-bye to the sacristy and have you racking in abundance!
Here is the link for the workbook: https://kristenfinch10.lpages.co/have-to-choose-to/
Book a consult: https://kristenfinch.as.me/freeconsult
Email: Kristen@kristenfinch.com
FB: www.facebook.com/kristenfinch10
IG: www.instagram.com/kristenfinch.com
Three lies we tell ourselves about our dream life:
I don’t know what my dream life looks like, I’ve tried that before and failed, I don’t have the time or money to pursue this.
As soon as we even think about changing our mind comes ups with all these reasons why we can’t.
Why is it so hard for us to dream big? Because our negative thoughts are in the driver’s seat. We’re scared. Scared of failing, scared of reaching for something we’ll never achieve. We don’t think we deserve spending money on ourselves or living this big awesome life we dream about.
So we settle for, ‘just good enough goals,’ that will make our lives a tiny bit better. We live a life that’s safe.
Today we’re breaking out of the ordinary! I’m sharing my three steps to transformation. It’s time to dream, decide and do.
If you want to create a life you love I can help! What if you decided right now to hop on a free phone call with me? Click here so we can make it happen.
Email me: kristen@kristenfinch.com
In this episode, I share a little secret. For YEARS I’ve been hiding it, denying it, and today is my coming out party. And it feels so good to be open and honest!
Now it’s your turn. What good thing have you been resisting in your life? How have you let other people's opinions hold you back? Are you feeling stuck? Stopped hiding from the thing that you think people are going to judge you for, or the thing that you think you need more proof in order to help people? What do you need to believe in order to move forward? In order to live that full life that you want to live? What would you need to stop believing about yourself?
I hope sharing my story will help you fully step into your own power. Stop wasting time on fears. Stop wasting time on doubt. Put yourself back in the narrative; take this a step further.
Change it.
Book a consult here
For the full transcript for this episode
Dave’s book
This American Life interview
This episode is proof that you just never know when inspiration is gonna hit. The inspiration for this week: a toilet paper roll in a bathroom stall in a hotel in Louisville, Kentucky.
Listen to the episode for the full story, but here's the gist: there are two paths you can take to transformation...the HARD path or the EASY path.
And as humans, we are naturally wired to focus on the HARD way. Our brains are designed that way on purpose. The problem is that when we believe what we want to achieve is too hard...whether it's being happier in your marriage, losing weight, starting a business, or just drinking more water...it becomes hard.
Our thoughts create the results we have.
SO we have to change it.
What if you just decided to stop believing that your marriage was hard? What if you just decided to stop believing that decluttering your house was hard?
Do you think you might get unstuck and actually MOVE FORWARD?
Yep.
The lesson I share in this episode is how I've gotten unstuck and achieved every single transformation in my life.
If you want to get unstuck and get your own mind blowing transformations, I can help. Click here so we can make it happen.
Scientists argue that humans have between 20,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. How many of those thoughts do you think are mindful? Hardly any of them, right?
We collect thoughts. Hoard them and replay them over and over again. Just like those jeans in your closet, they don't fit but maybe they will someday. If there are thoughts that are not serving you that don't represent who you are becoming, don't put them back in your mind. You can change them. Yes, yes, you can change your thoughts!
But how?
In this episode, I'm teaching the four steps that I take every client through that I go through myself every single day to declutter my mind so that I can feel freer so I don't feel overwhelmed or antsy or anxious or stuck, because anytime I'm feeling that way, it means there are some cluttered thoughts happening in my body. And the only way to get rid of clutter is to declutter, right physical mental doesn't matter.
It's time to declutter our thoughts!
Ready to declutter your mind? Click here to see how we can work together: https://kristenfinch.as.me/freeconsult
Mentioned on the show:
Amanda Gibby Peters: www.simpleshui.com
Uncluttered DIY course with Kristen Finch + Amanda Gibby Peters: https://kristenfinch.teachable.com/p/uncluttered/
Marie Kondo: www.konmari.com
“One of the only things I wished I did was take care of myself sooner. I felt like it was never the right time to take care of myself mentally.”
These are the words of my former client who passed away from pancreatic cancer. As women, we put everyone else first and leave no time for ourselves. We have these thoughts in our heads, “I can do it on my own or I don’t have time.”
In today’s episode, I’m sharing the top 5 reasons why we don’t invest in ourselves.
A Sneak Peak:
*Investing SAVES money
*Making time vs creating time
*The wise words of a former client
*Self care isn’t selfish
*the more money I put into myself, the better the results are
Show Resources:
Let's connect! You can find me on Facebook or Instagram...send me a message and let me know that you’re a listener!
Ready to change your life? I can absolutely help you. Book a free consult. (Don’t be afraid...you’ll laugh AND have next steps no matter what you decide!). Click here.
On a scale from 1 to 10, how happy are you?
Could you be happier in your life, career, and relationships—of course!
As a life coach, I noticed that a lot of my clients are settling. They set the bar low so they won’t get disappointed or they can’t see themselves feeling any better than they do at the moment.
I get it, I’ve been there gorgeous soul.
Today I share how to get to a 10 on the happiness scale.
I also go over:
*How do you know what a 10 looks like
*Why you’re partner cannot control your happiness
*The magic of setting the bar high
*Redefining your intentions to get what you want
Like this week’s episode? I’d love it if you shared it with a friend and show the show some love by rating us!
Show Resources:
Free Goal Setting Workshop on January 9th
Schedule a Free Consult Session with Me
You set your goals. Now what? Now it's time to make changes. Listen to my 6 tips on how to achieve your goals.
Worksheet download: https://kristenfinch10.lpages.co/how-to-achieve-your-goals/
Book a consult: https://kristenfinch.as.me/freeconsult
Amanda Gibby Peters: www.simpleshui.com
Amy Cuddy power pose: https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are
I spent most of my adult life setting goals that never made it past a week. I always got super excited to sit down on New Years Eve to create new goals, but I just never followed through.
But over the years I've been tweaking my process. Using a combination of traditional goal writing and feeling-driven goals to come up with a process that really works.
I've transformed my entire life because I know how to follow through on my goals and because I know how to manage my thoughts.
In today's episode I'm going to walk you through the steps I go through to create meaningful goals that stick.
To download the workbook click here.
Here's the other thing I know...I am an expert in transformations. I have transformed my entire life and have guided dozens of women to transform theirs. I KNOW how to do this and I can help you do it. One year from now, you won't even recognize your life. Click here and we'll see if I'm the right coach for you!
It's almost 2019!!! Time for those good old New Years Resolutions.
If you're anything like me, you may have noticed a pattern in your life, though... Get SUPER excited about making changes, write some goals down, dive in and quit.
In a matter of weeks.
Or even days.
That was me, for most of my adult life. Until I found the way that works for me and for my clients.
In today's episode I want to share with you 7 of the main reasons you've been setting goals without achieving them. I want you to understand why you haven't been successful so you can move past those old mistakes and TRULY make 2019 the year that EVERYTHING CHANGES! Yaaaaaasssss!!
If you want to make 2019 your most important year yet, I can help. I know how to guide women through the transformations they really want to achieve. I KNOW I can help you. If you are COMMITTED, click here and we can hop on the phone and see if I'm the right mentor for you!
Click HERE for this episode's cheatsheet.
I've had puhhh-lenty of experience with grief and loss and going through very hard times. But I've learned some really important lessons on how to manage pain...sadness, anger, despair, frustration...that I want to share with you:
~ pain is just a chemical process that lasts 90 seconds
~ the difference between pain and suffering
~ why it's important to stop trying to avoid your sadness
~ how to add EASE and COMFORT to pain
It IS possible to go through horrendous times in your life without drowning in it.
Watch Jill Bolte Taylor's TEDx talk
Read A Stroke Of Insight
Want to work with me to create a life you are head over heels in LOVE with? I'm accepting applications for 2019...click here to apply.
The #1 thing I am asked to talk about is my marriage. And I'm SO happy to talk about it...I'm SO happy to share what worked for our neurodivergent (he's Aspergers, I'm not) marriage. Except...my advice sucks.
I mean, it's SOLID gold, but it's HARD and it takes time, it requires you to change the way you've been living your life, and it can be painful.
I told you. Sucks.
On today's episode I'm talking about taking radical responsibility for your entire relationship so that you can transform it. I will share:
~ what radical ownership actually looks like
~how taking 100% responsibility for your entire life changes you're entire life
~ why it's so hard to stay in your own lane
~ why letting people BE who they are will make YOU happier
Also...if you are ready to make 2019 the year that you actually CREATE a life you love, transform your relationships, your body, your happiness, your life...I would love to help you.
Click here for a FREE, no obligation consultation call. We'll hop on the phone and see if we're a good fit and how we could work together in 2019.
I want you to stop WAITING for your external circumstances to change and change your life. I did it. I'll help you do it too.
Anxiety keeps us stuck. It prevents us from doing both big things AND little things. In today's episode I'm going to take you through the process I take myself through when I'm feeling anxious.
Download the cheatsheet here
Join the Lounge here
Today's episode is all about how to BECOME the woman you want to be. How to move from where you are now to where you WANT to be. Because it's one thing to hope and wish and dream and it's another to take action and BECOME the next version of yourself. I'll take you through:
~ how to tap into the next version so you get crystal clear on what you need to do to level up
~ what to focus on and what to STOP focusing on
~ why appreciation of where you are and where you've been is important
To dive deeper into any of the topics, join the Lounge.
There are 3 types of people in the world: people who like you, people who don't and people who just don't care.
And which people do you spend the most time worrying about?
The people who don't like you! The people you NEED to like you.
When your self worth is based on other people's approval of you, you will lose yourself QUICKLY.
Today's episode is a pep talk over coffee all about why we need to STOP focusing on trying to get people to like us and instead focus on the people who already do!
Please subscribe, rate, and leave a review!
Join the Lounge (my HIGH VIBE monthly membership community) here.
Find me on FB and IG
To get free daily inspiration delivered straight to your inbox every morning, click here.
In today's episode we're going to talk all about how to create a life that you really love...no matter WHAT you've got going on right now.
We'll discuss:
~ why actually being creative helps with changing your life
~ how to decide what that life looks like
~ how to get past the thoughts that have been blocking you from creating something new
~ why you need to clean up your messes to manifest what you want
~ why the people you surround yourself with are CRITICAL pieces of this puzzle
~ why gratitude is key
Please subscribe, rate, and leave a review!
Join the Lounge (my HIGH VIBE monthly membership community) here.
Find me on FB and IG
To get free daily inspiration delivered straight to your inbox every morning, click here.
You already know you're supposed to take care of yourself. And you'd LOVE to. But when? And how? I get it. The way self care is marketed to us women makes us think we need tons of time and boatloads of extra cash lying around. Massages, mani/pedis, girls nights out...they all sound amazing, aaaaaand...totally unrealistic.
Well, guess what? Those things are great if you can get it. But TRUE self care doesn't require money and only requires minutes a day. What I've learned in my own journey from overwhelmed, exhausted hot mess (who N E V E R took care of herself) to a woman whose self care is non-negotiable is that it's not massages, it's daily habits. Small habits you do each day that make your life better. That make you feel better.
That's why we're supposed to practice self-care, right? To feel better.
Here are some of the things I talked about in the show:
Free download: How to create an evening routine
To get daily inspiration in your inbox: Lounge Love Letters
If you want to really dive deeper into today's episode or any of the episodes, you're gonna want to join The Lounge.
The Lounge is
You've heard it before...change your thoughts, change your life. But what does that even mean? And HOW?
How does changing your thoughts change everything?
I'm talking about this in today's episode.
Want to talk more about this episode or ANY of the episodes or topics that you hear on Show Up and Love? Join the Lounge. It's my membership community where we dive deep into these topics every day. It's an amazing community of Gorgeous Souls where we have virtual hangouts, q+a sessions, habits that we're all working on together. It's a no-low-vibe place and I'd LOVE for you to join me there.
Our brains are divided into three parts...the primitive lizard brain, the more evolved limbic brain and the highly evolved neocortex. Only humans and highly-evolved mammals like monkeys and dolphins have access to the neocortex...where higher level thinking, problem solving and creative reasoning occur.
So why the hell are we spending so much time in our primitive lizard brains?
Because we haven't been taught how to override it.
In this episode you'll hear: how my lizard brain left me paralyzed by fear on a hike
how to recognize when the lizard brain (fear) is running your show
why overriding the lizard brain thoughts is ESSENTIAL to success and happiness and calm
how to override the lizard brain and calm the frick down
Don't forget to subscribe, rate and review!
If you love this show, you've GOT to join the Lounge. The Lounge is filled with THE most amazing women who are all gathered for the same purpose: to live a better life. To improve their relationships, improve their health, practice self care, learn how to set boundaries...you name it, we practice it. It's a high-vibe-only place, so if you just want a place to complain or commiserate, we're not your squad. But if you are looking for daily inspiration, classes to help you expand, community to cheer you on...the Lounge is where it's at.