The Ashlee Craft Show: Recent Episodes
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Culture, music, poetry, animals, books, reviews, & more from creative & life enthusiast Ashlee Craft.
"That Room is Not the Place You Are Now" is a "Welcome to Night Vale" Podfic written & read by myself, Ashlee Craft!
Read the fanfic on AO3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24014026
Description: Cecil has a PTSD flashback from something traumatic that happened to him as a child, & Carlos is there to comfort him. Hurt/comfort. For audiences 13+.
TW Notes: TW: This story is a lot less dark than fics I've previously written haha, but there still are a few things I'd like to mention: (1) A lot of the story describes a PTSD flashback (including the panic-related physical symptoms, dissociation/derealization/depersonalization, & the utter fear) in a detailed way. This is based on my own personal experiences with flashbacks tbh- (2) The trauma in question relates to violence/threat of violence. It involves a childhood home invasion by an estranged family member of Cecil's who's been terrorizing his family, & said family member threatens & acts as though he's going to kill him & also threatens his family, while his family is helpless & terrified, unable to help him. There's no graphic violence, but just wanted to list those in case they're triggering for anyone :) (3) Cecil experiences some brief feelings of self-loathing in regards to the event/his mental health afterwards.
Trigger Warning for Sample: sample contains depression & depressed feelings, self-loathing, explicit language, verbal abuse, alcohol & drug abuse, mentions of suicide, & references to self-harm.
DESCRIPTION: I guess I’m telling you this because I trust you. You make me feel safe, & you’ve always seen me when I felt invisible. I wanted you to know the story of how I got to be the way I am now. It started with my family; the verbal abuse & lack of love from them finally took its toll, the night I packed my belongings & drove off to anywhere but where I was, & moved in with a bohemian artist named Sara.
Another thing? We haven’t even gotten started yet. Him. He keeps swirling around in my head. The ghosts of his kisses on my lips. The ghosts of his arms around me. The ghosts of his hands caressing my skin. The ghosts of the way it felt when I had my hand on his chest & felt his heart beating, that time when he pressed his forehead into mine & closed his eyes, & we sat there breathing each other’s air, our chests pressed together, & he whispered to me that he loved me, & I pressed my lips against his & kissed him fervently, & for the first time in my life, I felt like everything was going to be okay someday. But it wasn’t. Not even close.
“You’re too sad.” He told me two months later. “I just can’t deal with it. I can’t handle it, because it hurts me too much. It hurts too much to see you like this, but I’ve tried everything, & it seems to me like you don’t even want to get better.”
Maybe I didn’t. I don’t know. It didn’t feel like it, all the days I lied in bed drinking & smoking & wishing it would all go away, days spent remembering him & the way he felt. Sometimes though, I would struggle like a bird, beating my wings against the bars uselessly trying to pull myself out of the pit.
Then someone new moved in across the street, his name was James, & strangely, he became the ladder I needed.
Publish Date // February 25, 2017 Paperback 396 Pages Genre // Fiction
Recently, I had the opportunity to interview Jason Gardner, an awesome personal/life coach & professional magician & musician that I met through Benjamin Hardy's AMP course. Jason is one of those people who just has a ton of positive vibes flowing from them, the kind of person just interacting with them makes you feel uplifted. Here, Jason talks about personal development, letting the good in you seek the good in others, & real magic!
You can find out more about Jason at http://www.jasonescape.com/
In Episode 042 of The Ashlee Craft Show, I read my article "Here's Why Happiness is the Best Revenge" & tell you WHY using your success as revenge against those who've wronged you is about YOU, & not about them.
READ THE ORIGINAL ARTICLE HERE :: http://www.ashleecraft.com/personal-evolution/heres-why-happiness-is-the-best-revenge/
Website: http://www.ashleecraft.com Shop: htpp://www.shop.ashleecraft.com PODCAST on iTunes: http://apple.co/2yXshjm Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/Ashlee_Craft Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Ashlee-Craft-1531736820466815 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ashleecraft Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ashleecraft/ Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/ashleecraft/ Amazon: https://goo.gl/lcAO6V Freedom Meadow Media: http://www.freedommeadowmedia.com
In Episode 041 of The Ashlee Craft Show, I read a poem from my Spring poetry book called "Easter". Also, I'm wearing Easter egg novelty socks & carrot-shaped earrings!
SPRING POETRY BOOK : https://amzn.to/2E98xsB
//
EASTER
after spring cleaning is completed & the house is refreshed / opening the windows to clean out the air trapped in here by the winds of winter / running free thru fields / then coming back home to decorate for Easter
slowly removing the colorful Easter basket from the cardboard box in the garage & setting the basket, woven with pink & yellow straw, upon the black table in the corner / the sound of crinkling & plastic being torn, opening the bag of Easter grass & arranging the yellow cellophane in the bottom / tying a ribbon around the basket’s handle & smiling back at it
next removing the sentimental Easter tree from the box / the pale pink bark peeling, the metal branches bent at odd angles, but rearranging these & remembering when I was a child & I decorated these same branches with these sacred ornaments, souvenirs from memory’s road / separating the ornaments & untangling the branches & the small threads tied to the tops of them / picking a random but intentionally beautiful spot for each one, seeing these brilliant branches covered with Easter eggs, baby rabbits of pink & green & blue & yellow, sparkling eggs, bird houses, fuzzy yellow chicks, carrots, baskets, joy / seeing them filled with joy
lastly, removing the decorations given to me by my Grandmother & setting them upon the shelves / spreading the bright beauty of spring around on the walls, on the tables, on shelves, on the floor, anywhere there is room for them / planting seeds in terra cotta flower pots outside & placing the gently watered soil in the sunrays on my porch / spreading around the joy of this new beginning / spring is beginning once again / the sun shining once again
I read a poem from "A Ship Onto a Sea of Hope" in Episode 040, titled "THE CLEAR COOL STARS WERE RADIANT".
A SHIP ONTO A SEA OF HOPE :: http://amzn.to/2tXvrTT A SHIP ONTO A SEA OF HOPE SAMPLE :: http://www.ashleecraft.com/books-2/ship-onto-sea-hope/
THE CLEAR COOL STARS WERE RADIANT
I stepped off into the clear cool stars walking on them. They called out to me. They felt the same way it does stepping off barefoot into dewy grass at 1 AM. The decisions you make are the rope leading you either to the edge of the bridge or the safe green pastures. They are what compels you.
She looked at me with sea-green eyes. I saw aqua & turquoise rain clouds flourishing in the distance. They whispered to me by the tide-pool room rock ledges & familiar evocative songs on the radio. “You are going to be okay.”
Website: http://www.ashleecraft.com Shop: htpp://www.shop.ashleecraft.com PODCAST on iTunes: http://apple.co/2yXshjm Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/Ashlee_Craft Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Ashlee-Craft-1531736820466815 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ashleecraft Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ashleecraft/ Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/ashleecraft/ Amazon: https://goo.gl/lcAO6V Freedom Meadow Media: http://www.freedommeadowmedia.com
I read a poem from my 2017 poetry book "The Walls Were Gray" in Episode 039 of The Ashlee Craft Show!
THE WALLS WERE GRAY :: http://amzn.to/2FTjQH5
AT THE END OF THE DAY, THERE ARE MORE GOOD NIGHTS
I took deep breaths & tried to calm the fluttering screaming inside / it was getting dark out / I opened the windows & bathed myself in fresh air turning the music up loud & listening to the wind / at the stoplight I watched the lights of cars on the evening road & felt the knowledge that I could do anything, any of it / that there would be more nights in this weather, driving, comforted by the fact that I was finding my way / I shamelessly danced even if people were looking / the music & gentle lights continued - glowing pathway spread before me yellowbrick road / it was deeply sad & darkly depressing but somehow deeply shining with hope & the golden warm light of PROGRESS / the first words of the new poem & the new beginning & new places & the unknown road & the unknown open road & the first words said by the person I was becoming & the soul of the person I was becoming & the overarching future & deep brilliant hope & a thousand things I had no names for / I saw a kid playing with a toy car on the sidewalk in the dark, & I breathed in deeply, & felt fresh air on my skin & the warm humidity of evening, & saw the road really illuminated by the street lamps like lighthouses / & it reminded me of something I used to know / I thought about how there would be so many more nights like this, how this wasn't really the ending / & I reminded myself that I would make it through this, & be better off for it / that is how I thrive
In Episode 038, I read a poem from my book "So Long, Lonesome Place" called "Prelude". Enjoy! SO LONG, LONESOME PLACE :: http://amzn.to/2HlCN5t
In Episode 037, I read a poem from one one of my most recent poetry books, "The Walls Were Gray", titled "SEE, NOT FEELING THAT GIVES ME FREEDOM." Hope you enjoy it! The Walls Were Gray :: http://amzn.to/2oI2oyx NEW! Adorable Farm Animals: A Coloring Book :: http://amzn.to/2I4VnQj NEW! Life is My Playground Website :: www.lifeismyplayground.com SEE, NOT FEELING THAT GIVES ME FREEDOM the sky was dark blue dark blue / evening light window looking out at the lake / the flashes of light upon the water I used to look out at them & the fresh alive air would flow in through the holes in the screen & I would feel like I wasn't sitting on the island all by myself / dark blue dark blue / I walked up the stairs to the room & the lighting was warm / Antioch, at night blue walls single lamp in the corner it was dim the closet was yellow / workshop, my dreams covered the walls when I was an endless creator / they were yelling downstairs now but I was rising slowly exhausted & ready to sleep / I found myself outside, finally stretching my legs & feeling the late afternoon sunshine warm & bright / they said it was going to rain today but they were wrong / the air was warm & crisp like the end of summer, like the end of summer that one year / fall autumn air queen suicide & rebirth in February into something greater / I was so happy suddenly back then that it scared me / the air had seemed so lonely / she asked me about it & I finally revealed an honest piece of myself more peace of mind / "it was never very interesting to me" I told her "my Work was always more interesting & still is" / I told her I couldn't wrap my head around the idea of constantly chasing them, hoping they would notice me / couldn't understand why anyone would want to do that be that way / technically it's more normal but it was never the drumbeat I danced to / this morning I was compelled towards the radio / "I will get by" was playing / note, a year ago said I listened to that & read TOUGH TIMES DON'T LAST & even though things were terrible for me, I felt a lot better / (why does it always seem like things are terrible? not true) / then some song about dancing to the beat of the music played & the morning looked less gray / I read their article & realized the problem / even in my otherness I was still being forced into feelings I didn't feel / the obligation was strong everywhere around me everyone was screaming out the words & every book proudly displayed it on its cover & the newspapers all wrote about it & every song found it sublime to ramble on ramble on / everyone I knew - it was their primary topic. what had happened. what they would do. how to find one. / I was being forced into feelings I didn't feel because I felt I wouldn't belong if I didn't feel them / but I don't feel them, not in that way / I can befriend all of them without ulterior motives - imagine what a difference that would be - everyone else was always a goal step to reach a particular means to an end / I felt more normal than her even though I felt dried up & frigid but that was the way the computer was wired & the tree roots were deeper still / I hugged her, "why is everyone so stressful?", flung my hands around, she comforted me, I hugged her again / I didn't have to follow them all down into the rabbit hole / "curiosity never killed the cat" she told me / trees sung quietly in triumph as I wrote a letter with the honest truth & let a pigeon carry it back to its nest / then I walked around the lake & went home, just as the jazz started playing, & I felt better about myself, not having to hide / learning to love the emotional mess
In Episode 036 of The Ashlee Craft Show, I talk about the things that, at surface level, aren't things I thought of when setting up my goals for the year. But they're things that actually matter more, because they're the core feelings behind the things you want.
READ THE ARTICLE :: http://www.ashleecraft.com/personal-evolution/5-beautiful-rare-things-want-feel-2018/
Website: http://www.ashleecraft.com Shop: htpp://www.shop.ashleecraft.com PODCAST on iTunes: http://apple.co/2yXshjm Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/Ashlee_Craft Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Ashlee-Craft-1531736820466815 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ashleecraft Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ashleecraft/ Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/ashleecraft/ Amazon: https://goo.gl/lcAO6V Freedom Meadow Media: http://www.freedommeadowmedia.com
In Episode 035, I read another poem from my poetry book "Reflections in the Green Triangle" titled "All My Friends". REFLECTIONS IN THE GREEN TRIANGLE BOOK: http://amzn.to/2BTbOzv ALL MY FRIENDS for such a long time I thought that I was alone / desperately seeking friendship & reaching out out out floating on desperate waves looking for someone / pleading in the night that I would find somebody to spend time with / searching & searching with the mistaken impression that I was alone / looking for someone I could enjoy being with & embrace & understand & be understood by / but with time I'd see the the whole time / I'd been surrounded by friends one day I opened my eyes & saw that I'd never been alone & I began to find friends everywhere I looked I was friends with the sun in the sky the rainbows up ahead the ideas & questions of if & why birds singing in the forest I passed thru each blade of grass covered with morning dew birds outside my window chirping in the morning in the lightening & thunder crashing out their warning the rain pouring onto the pavement peace, love, & independence the moon watching gently over the night the first brand new ray's of the sunrise's light & the twinkling stars I wish upon the joy contained in each beautiful song the hummingbirds sipping nectar from flowers in the fun & freedom filling my every hour I found friendship in leaves rustling & drifting down in the breezes music floating from open windows jazz musicians playing in cafes magical sounds of harmonies artwork & music & films & books & poems on the walls crashing waves upon the shore & the sun melting onto the water in the afternoon the smell of freshly mowed grass & the after-rain's fresh scent & the sunsets & the sunrises in the adventures I have everyday & in happiness I found a friend in life Website: http://www.ashleecraft.com Shop: htpp://www.shop.ashleecraft.com PODCAST on iTunes: http://apple.co/2yXshjm Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/Ashlee_Craft Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Ashlee-Craft... Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ashleecraft Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ashleecraft/ Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/ashleecraft/ Amazon: https://goo.gl/lcAO6V Freedom Meadow Media: http://www.freedommeadowmedia.com
Episode 034! I read a poem titled "Reflections" from my poetry book "Reflections in the Green Triangle". REFLECTIONS IN THE GREEN TRIANGLE BOOK: http://amzn.to/2BTbOzv Reflections reflecting upon the silver bar sidewalks & the misty moonlit jaunt thru the breeze double rainbow like a pot of gold in the sky / illuminations / reflecting on windows of trucks & on the sunglasses of passerby / on the Sunday / in the rain driving thru the puddles / rustling of tires against water sprinkling it upwards showing showering rainstorm reflections looking in the foggy mirror & at everything mistaken & distorted by the silver / like a whole other world hidden behind glass / distorted in the golden gaze rectified in my precision & by my passion / rejuvenated & suddenly understanding who I was the entire time down many mistaken roads I walked & many mistaken lies I spoke / many sights of sorrow & many things of beauty filled my vision / down many darkened alleyways filled with soot I trod & many days it just never dawned upon me that I what I'd yearned for & what I'd sought had been there all along / I just had never seen them I thought what I'd been looking for was something that could be bought / so I looked & looked in all the windows to every store but I kept finding myself wanting more & more / I thought what I'd searched for was far away from me & that by leaving this place, I could be free / so I ran away so I wouldn't be alone only to find that I'd always been home / I thought what I needed was the love in somebody's heart & that by finding that love, I'd make a start / so I searched for the one I was looking to find only to see I'd been there the whole time / all that time, I was only too blind to see as I looked & searched & cried & yearned only to find that all along, I'd been exactly where I needed to be it hadn't been money or distance or love that I'd needed / I didn't need to go anywhere or buy anything or find someone to love me / I just needed to see the beauty within me & all the loneliness turned to friendship, all the dark into light, & suddenly I began seeing the world with my own eyes / my own eyes looking at my own destiny / my own life / now I was free I had been deaf / to the reflections / of the music / rhythm beating beating beating beating onwards / onwards / into the next reflection Website: http://www.ashleecraft.com Shop: htpp://www.shop.ashleecraft.com PODCAST on iTunes: http://apple.co/2yXshjm Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/Ashlee_Craft Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Ashlee-Craft... Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ashleecraft Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ashleecraft/ Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/ashleecraft/ Amazon: https://goo.gl/lcAO6V Freedom Meadow Media: http://www.freedommeadowmedia.com
In Episode 033, I read the fourth & final poem from my book FOG: A ZINE. POEM 1: https://youtu.be/n_ccVs8QAwU POEM 2: https://youtu.be/owNvh9CecxY POEM 3: https://youtu.be/4mNDij1hU_E FOG: A ZINE: http://amzn.to/2zzz30b Website: http://www.ashleecraft.com Shop: htpp://www.shop.ashleecraft.com PODCAST on iTunes: http://apple.co/2yXshjm Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/Ashlee_Craft Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Ashlee-... Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ashleecraft Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ashleecraft/ Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/ashleecraft/ Amazon: https://goo.gl/lcAO6V Freedom Meadow Media: http://www.freedommeadowmedia.com
I read the third poem from my photography zine FOG in Episode 032 of The Ashlee Craft Show! One more poem left to make an episode about, & all the poems from the zine will be on YouTube. Here are the previous poems: POEM 1: https://youtu.be/n_ccVs8QAwU POEM 2: https://youtu.be/owNvh9CecxY FOG: A ZINE: http://amzn.to/2zzz30b
2017 was the most outstanding year of my life so far! I read the essay I wrote about it, titled "2017 In Review: I'm On My Way" where I talk about what 2017 felt like.
Here's where you can read the original article: http://www.ashleecraft.com/articles/2017-in-review-im-on-my-way/
In Episode 030, I read one of the poems from my newest poetry book, "The Walls Were Gray" titled "FOG - THE WALLS ARE NOT GRAY ANYMORE". FOG – THE WALLS ARE NOT GRAY ANYMORE I floored it - out onto the empty road - gray mist rose up around me - floored it - ahead the fog cleared - I saw the vibrant nurturing rainbow - & the meadow where I will thrive - non-linear joyful skip dance drive towards it - suddenly finding myself closer to arriving - the fog clears - gray walls around me melt away revealing rainbows - I am no longer confined by my own false belief that I did not deserve to be free - floored it & didn't need to look back into the fog - floored it - away vroom vroom - freedom, I am free finally finding it - I KNOW WHO I NEED TO BECOME NOW THE WALLS WERE GRAY :: http://amzn.to/2D2xnuy
In Episode 029, I play the 6th track from my 2nd album - an instrumental song called "getting back up again", which is a reworking of "The Strength of Hope".
LISTEN TO THE ALBUM VERSION HERE :: http://www.ashleecraft.com/music/confusion-is-over-2/getting-back-up-again-confusion-is-over/
In Episode 028, I share three things you can do in 2018 to make the upcoming year YOUR YEAR, where you achieve all the things you've wanted to do.
It's Episode 027! I update you on some cool news - two new poetry books have been released in the past two weeks! One is called "A Ship Onto a Sea of Hope" & the other is called "The Walls Were Gray". Links to both can be found below. On December 31, the next book in the Wonderful Wildlife series is coming out - it's about Blobfish! Also, I'm launching three new shows in the next two weeks - "Animals with Ashlee" (a pet vlog series), "Explorations" (videos of cool travel & other experiences I have & places I go), & "The Feel-Good Life with Ashlee Craft" (videos about minimalism, health, happiness, self-sufficiency, etc). Then, I read a poem titled "Christmas Day" from my Christmas poetry book! CHRISTMAS POEMS - http://amzn.to/2pu0apA THE WALLS WERE GRAY - http://amzn.to/2BupGML A SHIP ONTO A SEA OF HOPE - http://amzn.to/2kQurdn
Episode 026 is THE SIX MONTH ANNIVERSARY EPISODE of The Ashlee Craft Show, so thank you SO MUCH for all your support for it! It's been so much fun making it & will be even more fun as it continues. For this episode, I read a poem from my Winter poetry book titled "Silent Night". WINTER (FOUR SEASONS #2) http://amzn.to/2AL3fm5
Silent Night silent night / holy night you sit there looking into the down-turned eyes of lonely strangers / lost on a cold, unforgiving ocean to which there seems no chance of rescue & the boat seems on its last leg / it’s Christmas eve & you huddle in the canvas tents while the boom boom boom explosions nearby shake the ground / fear flows as fresh as the blood in their veins as the cramped isolation begins to take its toll & you suddenly feel as though you’re falling thru an empty world yet the overcrowded illusion & warmth stifles you / the cool night air outside seems as cold as the desperation – frantic grasping rapid fire falling falling falling into an abyss to which there is no return hope is gone from your soul & all you want to do is go home / the isolated desolation & illusion of paper-thin canvas walled tent huddled, silent, seems as fragile as the beating of your heart which could stop any moment & you feel the liquid cool of night air sifting thru your palms / mind goes back to ten years ago when you were a kid you feel cold despite the heat in the tent & the putrid smell of sweat fills your nostrils & you feel empty – cold – alone – your heart beats madly against the wall of your ribcage, beating so strongly yet seeming so weak like a baby bird just hatched attempting to flap it’s wings & fly / you see the fear felt in your heart mirrored twenty times in the faces around you / what do they think of, what do they feel / the same as you, each in their own way / you avert your eyes to the dirt floor & suppress the urge to tear the nightmare illusions around you down, tear down the canvas backdrop & the projections of people & the illusions of fear / but you can’t / it’s not an illusion & it’s the only reality that there is your heart aches for your family & friends & the thought crosses your mind constantly that you may never return to them / you wonder why you signed up for this but there’s no turning back & you feel alone in the world first Christmas away from home / your heart reaches the most desperate lonely despondency distraught with fear & misery silence is broken / a voice so warm & kind, trembling slightly beneath the weight of the war & world & fear, overcomes the situation & rises to do what they know they must do / they feel the same fear as you & their young face gleams in the pale lighting, a reflection of your own the song raises thru the air & wafts onto the roof of the tent & it remains there / as more of the song is revealed, the air becomes heavy with the hope & fills the whole tent / other voices join in & you suddenly find yourself singing / your spirit soars & suddenly somehow you know you’re gonna be okay you’re gonna be okay the Christmas voices & spirits soaring flying alive for this one moment enter into each heart & hope is restored in the midst of loneliness & pain came the soft words bringing hope / the midst of war & hate, for just a moment, there was love & peace silent night / holy night / all is calm / all is bright / round young virgin mother & child / holy infant so tender & mild / sleep in heavenly peace / sleep in heavenly peace
Episode 025 is a poem from my upcoming poetry book THE WALLS WERE GRAY, which will be released December 15th by Freedom Meadow Media! I'm really excited to share this poem with you because you get a sneak peak of my newest book!
YOU ONCE WERE MY SOULMATE, NOW YOU ARE A SHADOW when I was with you, I thought you were everything / I loved you deeply & only ever wanted you to love me back with equal strength / I wrote romantic poems about how you & I would be looking at each other, driving around town with the jazz playing / I used to think that was what I wanted / we could both be mature & stereotypically in love with each other / I thought it would last forever / we would grow up together we would grow cynical together / I have been glad many times, but especially now, that things never worked out / you would never have loved the way I came to dress, the way I colored my hair neon bright, the way I was so determined above anything else to accomplish something you didn't think was worth doing / you would never have loved the person I have become / you only loved me when I became a carbon copy of you when I told you my secret dream, you said, "well, that's nice but -" / you were the one who had taken the advice of your drunkard neighbor who told you it was too stressful to try & follow your own dream / I find it hard to believe he was literally the only person you ever knew you could have asked that question to, & you believed him when he told you it wouldn't be fun / you decided rather than find out for yourself you'd rather blindly believe he was right, even though he was just one person & that was just his opinion / you never asked again complacency & comfort can be terrible things / you get comfortable & then you stop evolving / you simultaneously love & hate where you're at / you think it's okay to just be "okay" / mediocrity came knocking on your door one day & you let it in / it has lived there, hogging your couch & soiling your floor ever since / it would leave if you asked it, but you never have I can take comfort in knowing that what I did was way beyond anything you would have wanted to do or would have let me do / you would have told me it was a terrible idea & I would have believed you / if we would have ended up together, we would never have ventured out / every place we went would be "safe", would be "socially acceptable" / you would never become the kind of person who would stay up until three in the morning falling in love with the concert you just heard, you would never venture out on a whimsical road trip alone to do things that were genuinely important to you, you would never pursue the challenging obstacle course, you would never fly out to see the musicians play / you would stay safe with your cruises & prepackaged vacation deals where the itinerary would dictate your every move, your work would always be your first love for the wrong reasons, & you would never be bold enough to let yourself live instead you would follow in the footsteps of every sheep who walked before you, blindly following everything the herd did because they were “supposed to” / if we would have ended up together, I would never know what it was like / it wouldn't have been the type of thing you would ever want to do, & I would have agreed with your vision of me because I really thought you were right & you would never have been able to do it alone / it didn't, couldn't, never would fit in with your narrow ideas about how to keep up with both the Joneses & the sheep at the same time & I can take comfort in knowing that what I did was way beyond anything you could have done / I thought you were the better half but now I see I'm wrong / I did something braver than anything you can fathom, much less bring to life you could have had it all too, if you would have really wanted to but you never had the courage
In Episode 024, I read the SECOND poem from my newest zine FOG: A Zine. I love all the poems & photos from this book, so I really enjoyed reading this poem & sharing it with you.
CHECK OUT THE ZINE HERE: http://amzn.to/2zzz30b
LIFE IS MY PLAYGROUND T-SHIRT :: https://www.shop.ashleecraft.com/collections/t-shirts/products/life-is-my-playground-unisex-t-shirt
I read you a poem called "g" from my 2015 poetry book "Panorama Novelty" in Episode 023 of The Ashlee Craft Show! READ THE BOOK HERE: http://amzn.to/2AeEhfi g knowing what the sound of the wind is like through board empty boards of houses, a match on rough brick strikes, the flame burning higher & higher into the sky wearing neon yellow blouses; I called out into the wind asking where you were & you replied it was all a lie, the mask you'd worn for so long we walked on the beach & the sun was a blur behind growing gray clouds & the height of the sun tendrils of a rainbow blooming & nothing was wrong, not anymore
It's almost Thanksgiving! For Episode 022, in honor of an amazing fall holiday, I'm reading the poem "Thanksgiving" from my poetry book, "Autumn". If you celebrate Thanksgiving, I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving, & if you don't celebrate it, I hope you have a wonderful holiday season in general!
READ THE AUTUMN BOOK: https://www.amazon.com/Autumn-Ashlee-Craft/dp/1467985791/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1511151429&sr=8-3
THANKSGIVING
thanksgiving…everybody seated around the table smiling & holding hands as snow blows around outside & lands against the windows, tender flakes gently resting on my eyebrows before melting onto my skin / in my mind, the end of fall & the beginning of winter & all the joy it brings
delicious scent of family cooking & traditions & recipes laid out on the table before me / so many good things to eat it’s hard to make my mind up & I only can enjoy so much of it tonight / apple pie & green beans & sweet potatoes & squash & stuffing & everything else delicious
& the company of family & relatives, friends held close to your heart, forever bonding / more goes through your mind as you sit there enjoying the company of those closest to you / it’s about friendship & love & warmth, like being wrapped in a warm blanket somewhere perfect & knowing that you’re safe & no matter how cold the wind blows outside the window that you are loved you are loved you are loved
everyone sharing special memories & special thoughts & special recipes & most importantly, your hearts / sharing those things dearest to you / sharing the one thing that matters most, matters more than money or gifts or promises or anything else superficial, but about time / time is the definition of love / love & time, hands entwined
sitting around the table with generation after generation, making memories to last a lifetime
The first episode in the music segment! In Episode 021, I play my from my first album Fields of Destiny called "Everything's Gonna Be Alright".
Get the Fields of Destiny Album HERE: https://goo.gl/IiKKBt
Lyrics
I saw you in the street with tears on your face You falsely thought you were behind in life’s race But how do you expect that you can even face yourself If you don’t think you have the strength to pull your dreams down from that shelf?
I’ll stand beside, I’ll always lend you my hand I’ll do whatever it takes to help you understand
That everything’s gonna be alright Everything’s gonna work out fine Everything’s gonna be alright You just gotta let things happen in their own time
You had been fooled into believing it wasn’t you Who controls your destiny, who controlled what you had to do ‘Cause only you can decide what path is right to take If you choose what you know is right, no choice is a mistake
I’ll stand beside you, you can always count on me I want to guide you down that road, I want to help you see
That everything’s gonna be alright Everything’s gonna work out fine Everything’s gonna be alright You just gotta let things happen in their own time
You were looking for hope, you didn’t know where it could be found You’ll find that hope you seek when you realize what is profound Whatever you want life to be, it will all work out It’s not your job to understand what life’s about
I’ll stand beside when the going gets tough For I too have been on the seas when they seemed so rough
And everything’s gonna be alright Everything’s gonna work out fine Everything’s gonna be alright You just gotta let things happen in their own time
Oh, everything’s gonna be alright Everything’s gonna work out fine Everything’s gonna be alright You just gotta let things happen in their own time
(Everything’s gonna be alright) Everything’s gonna be alright (Everything’s gonna work out fine) You can do this (Everything’s gonna be alright) Someday, thing’ll be easier (You just gotta let things happen in their own time) Happen in their own time (Everything’s gonna be alright) Everything’s gonna be alright
Episode 020: First off, I'm excited that doing Episode 020 means 20 weeks of doing an episode EACH WEEK! In Episode 020, I read the first poem from my new photography zine, "FOG: A ZINE" which I am super in-love with (both the photos & the poems). Also, I really love + relate to this poem so I really enjoyed reading it.
CHECK OUT THE ZINE HERE: http://amzn.to/2zzz30b
LIFE IS MY PLAYGROUND T-SHIRT :: https://www.shop.ashleecraft.com/collections/t-shirts/products/life-is-my-playground-unisex-t-shirt
Episode 019, the Halloween edition of The Ashlee Craft Show. In this episode, I discuss my adorable owl Halloween costume & then read a poem from my Autumn poetry book (from the Four Seasons series) titled "Halloween".
Autumn Poetry Book: http://amzn.to/2yXQsNi
Link to the owl hat in case you want to buy one too (not an affiliate link, FYI): http://amzn.to/2zQ28R5
HALLOWEEN
halloween night…ghosts & pumpkins & candy & witches & fall leaves blowing as wolves howl in the distance / I stand on the sidewalk & parading around me, robots & ghosts & witches & characters from books & movies surround me & run by, rambling past & free to pretend / strength of imagination granted by the fabrics & ideas run freely / pretending to be something else, if only for a day
costumes galore, rampaging thru the streets & pounding on doors, asking for candy in brightly colored wrappers & racing off down the streets, bags bulging with candy & smiles filling the street lamps to the brim / harvest moon – full moon – in the magical warmth of the harvest moon in the sky & a sudden closeness to the moon crosses over me / close to the golden glow of the moon
leaves rustle against the sidewalk & past the doors of the haunted house, where few dare to enter / but I see a light shining in the window & out into the street & I see that it’s not so haunted at all
you can see jack-o-lanterns shining in windows & on the steps of porches / their faces, kind or frightening, mirroring & mimicking the faces in the mirror / the dim orange of their skin briefly illuminated by the flickering glow of the candles inside
I walk up towards the inviting warmth of a porch & hold my bag open wide / filling it with everything good, then walking off into the golden moonlight / fulfilled & free / on this stunning October evening / Halloween night
Episode 018: I read a poem from my 2012 poetry book, "Dancing in the Sunlight". "Simple / Dance on the Triangle" is the name of the poem. I like how the words sound together. & I talk about my red & orange "fall leaf hair" briefly at the beginning.
DANCING IN THE SUNLIGHT BOOK: http://amzn.to/2hXsiKy
I read "Revelations", a poem from my book, A Thousand Cranes, Volume 10 & I discuss how the poem relates to when you're changing your life & becoming more yourself.
READ MORE - A THOUSAND CRANES, VOLUME 10: http://amzn.to/2kS2PqH
GET THE LIFE IS MY PLAYGROUND T-SHIRT HERE (it's unisex & comes in 14 colors!): http://bit.ly/2xI67Om
Episode 016 of The Ashlee Craft Show: It's fall & it's cozy-time, which means the smell of apple cider & cozy sweaters & pumpkin pie is coming back. The poem, "The End of Summer" from Ashlee's poetry book "Autumn (Four Seasons #1)" captures the space between summer & fall perfectly.
READ THE BOOK (YOU'LL LOVE IT!): http://amzn.to/2y9J42m
In Episode 015 of the Ashlee Craft Show, Ashlee reads a poem from A Thousand Cranes, Volume 9 titled "Ground" & discusses the meaning behind her favorite line in the poem.
A Thousand Cranes, Volume 9: http://amzn.to/2xTfqPg
"Life is My Playground" T-Shirt, as seen in the video: https://www.shop.ashleecraft.com/collections/t-shirts/products/life-is-my-playground-unisex-t-shirt
GROUND ::
I walked across wet grass & was caressed by raindrops I trekked across galaxies & stars & suns left unnamed by human tongue I holed myself up in an apartment contemplating what the answer must be I time traveled back to the critical moment & changed my mind at the last second I fought myself in dirty basements of buildings struggling to stay I took the time to learn about the magic kept locked inside of me I learned that all that glitters isn't gold & that gold should not be loved too fondly I put on my mask to become the person I wanted to be I felt the breeze of after-rain & touched sunbeams & the earth & through these things I discovered where myself was hiding
Episode 014 of the Ashlee Craft Show: She reads a poem from The Allure of a Summer Evening, her very first poetry book. The poem? "I Danced Under the Rain Storm". FUN FACT: She wrote & published the book when she was only 16 years old.
READ MORE: http://amzn.to/2y13gEI
In Episode 013 of The Ashlee Craft Show, Ashlee reads a poem titled "Shift" from her upcoming poetry book, "A Ship Onto a Sea of Hope".
Life is My Playground T-Shirts: https://www.shop.ashleecraft.com/products/life-is-my-playground-unisex-t-shirt
"Hurricane Irma Can't Stop My Hustle", Ashlee Craft states at the beginning of Episode 012 of The Ashlee Craft Show. Can't stop, won't stop. This is for everyone in Hurricane Irma's path who aren't letting the hurricane stop them or slow them down in doing the things that matter to them. It is the empowering idea that ultimately, regardless of the weather, you can choose to do what matters.
In Episode 011 of The Ashlee Craft Show, Ashlee reads the titular first poem from her third poetry book, "Four Roads to Freedom", which she published in 2012. The poem is about four pathways people can go down in life - the fancy-looking pathway that's unfulfilling, the sad dark pathway, the repetitive mundane pathway, & the brilliantly beautiful authentic pathway.
In the tenth episode of The Ashlee Craft Show, Ashlee reads her article, "This is What Happens When You Choose to Live Life Authentically", which was originally p& discusses authenticity & loving yourself.
Read the article here: https://thoughtcatalog.com/ashlee-craft/2016/07/this-is-what-happens-when-you-choose-to-live-life-authentically/
In the ninth episode of The Ashlee Craft Show, Ashlee reads an essay titled "Hello, Beautiful 2017" from her upcoming book "Not a Dime a Dozen".
Read the essay here: http://www.ashleecraft.com/articles/hello-beautiful-2017/
Episode 008 of The Ashlee Craft Show is something for your Motivation Monday. In this episode, Ashlee reads her article, "Here’s Why Consistency Is Much More Important Than Perfection", originally published on www.thoughtcatalog.com. As she reads the article, she gives additional commentary & insights into consistency, perfection, & how to use consistency to overcome the excuses you tell yourself.
You can read the original article here: https://thoughtcatalog.com/ashlee-craft/2017/07/heres-why-consistency-is-much-more-important-than-perfection/
In Episode 007 of The Ashlee Craft Show, Ashlee reads one of the poems from her 2015 poetry book, Panorama Novelty.
In the sixth episode of The Ashlee Craft Show, Ashlee reads the motivational introduction to "101 Ways to Love Yourself: How To Feel Better, Be Happier, & Start Living a Super-Awesome Life Now."
In the fifth episode of The Ashlee Craft Show, Ashlee reads an essay titled "The Problem & The Cure" from her upcoming book "Not a Dime a Dozen".
In the fourth episode of The Ashlee Craft Show, Ashlee spotlights her exclusive "Life is My Playground" pins, available at SHOP Ashlee Craft.
In the third episode of The Ashlee Craft Show, Ashlee reviews the Myakka River State Park in Sarasota, FL. She discusses the awesome canopy walk (aka "The Best Observation Tower EVER"), the trail, the "Yellow Freedom Meadow", & a whole river filled with gators.
In the second episode of The Ashlee Craft Show, Ashlee reads the poem "part two" from her poetry book, "A Beautiful Question of Where & When".
POEM: part two
I left the space open to write a good-bye letter to you
& the empty page stared back at me gasping & lurching & trembling;
it was broken, it was cracked; the paper swallowed me whole
I thought about the last time I saw you how you were despondently numb & begging me
the bird sitting still in the cage it once previously tried to escape from
& I thought about the tenderness : radiantly gentle & ardent in its fierceness
& I thought about you; you believed in me when I was just a shadow to myself
my hand was trembling & the conviction inside me rose & sang
& I could not write anything I could not say goodbye, unclasp your hand from my own
I could not leave behind, move on from one I'd loved so authentically
The first episode of The Ashlee Craft Show is in the segment "Poetry", & Ashlee reads the poem "& I Embrace the Changes" from her newest book, Art Poems - Volume 3, released 6/24/17 on Freedom Meadow Media. POEM: & I Embrace the Changes I walked alone on the beach in the morning before anybody was up / there were two places calling out to me I felt the inexplicable connection to though I'd never been there / I didn't know exactly to where I was heading; there is a great big world out there & anywhere could be the place / but I embrace the confusion at last, & the darkness, & equally the confident light / & I embrace the changes for a long time I tried to pretend that it wasn't important; I buried it & muddled it & feared it & ran away from it / I put on the cloak & wore the dagger hidden where no one could see me; hid behind the curtains & sat in darkness because I would rather sit alone than with them / I cried at night & felt like a freak because they all sped by me in the fast lane rushing recklessly towards careers & eternal matrimony & I was alone & partially longing / but I never did want what they had anyways, & yet still felt left behind / but I have come to embrace the aloneness / & I embrace the changes there are different things that have meaning to me / “still so far behind!” they wail in the corners / but I do not hear them anymore, & I do not care what they are saying when I cannot see them / let them have their opinions & make their conclusions; let them believe what they wish to believe / I am freedom, I am alien, I am independent, I am different / & all of that is okay / & therefore, I embrace the changes I will never fit into their molds or want to sing their songs or want to go the places they go & do the boring things they do / I walk along the seashore each step a prayer propelled deep into the earth with vibration / each step is a declaration, a battle cry, a triumphant shout that I WILL NOT BE WHAT THEY WANT ME TO BE, I AM NOT WHAT THEY WISH I WAS, I DO NOT HAVE ANY INTEREST IN FITTING IN WITH THEM / each step is a statement of utter freedom, a release of the words I have been fighting for my ability & courage to say, the Phoenix pushing the ashes off the place of both its birth & its tomb simultaneously, shouting out into the night, YOU DO NOT OWN ME & so, I embrace the changes