Messy & Magnificent with Karlee Fain: Recent Episodes
Karlee Fain
Welcome to Messy & Magnificent with Karlee Fain - The place driven women come to elevate their career, health, and relationships, not by working so hard anymore, but by finally having the space to breathe, hear your own wisdom and be part of a sisterhood that has your back. My name is Karlee Fain, and together we're going to make sure that you have a doable plan, and the roots to rise.
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We know that rest is essential.
But… for high achievers, it’s easy to see go-mode as just the natural flow of things.
When we dare to pause (and dare others to do the same), we instantly recognize that we too are susceptible to the cultural norms that push us to prioritize work over rest.
And as many of us gear up for another extra busy holiday season, it’s important to remind ourselves and one another:
Rest is not the opposite of productivity; it’s the gateway to productivity.
We must give ourselves permission to rest.
Because allowing space for those pockets of joy in small moments can be transformative.
This week, Karlee revisits a timely conversation with Faith Clarke, an Organizational Health & Inclusion Specialist. Through her work, she provides important cultural and historical context to how we navigate the “rules” of society, shedding a necessary light on how this conditioning affects us.
In this episode, we unpack the reasons why you might be working so hard and resting so little. You’ll shift your culturally ingrained perspective on time and commitments and begin to open your days, weeks, months, and years to more opportunities for rest. By constructing your own imaginary world, you can break societal rules around productivity, regain your power, and creatively find more time for respite.
If you’re ready to open up more pockets of joy in your life, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (8:57) Cultural constructs and the burden of work
- (11:51) Finding your Pockets of Power
- (14:36) How to create an alternate reality for rest
- (17:57) The interplay between self and community
- (20:47) Navigating the Zero-Sum Game
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 135: Pockets of Power | How to be a able to say “yes” to joy in your way-too-busy life with Faith Clarke
Article: Gilson, D. (2011) Overworked America: 12 charts that Will make your blood boil, Mother Jones. Available at: https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2011/05/speedup-americans-working-harder-charts/
Website: Tricia Hersey http://www.triciahersey.com/
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People Mentioned in this Episode:
Dr. Jovana Washington
Connect with Faith Clarke:
Website
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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Does the new year ever really feel so “new” and fresh for long?
For many of us, the end of the calendar year means time spent with family, and hopefully a few days away from work. But the irony is that they can still feel physically and emotionally taxing.
You see, we were born into burnout culture.
And that “two weeks PTO” carrot at the end of the stick ain’t cutting it. Vacations and holidays are wonderful, but they rarely leave us feeling rested.
The holidays, and the winter months especially, are a fine time to step back and evaluate, perhaps even redefine, our relationship with rest and work.
It’s time for a cultural shift away from the drudgery of burnout culture. It’s time to embrace a culture of rest.
This week, Karlee revisits a restful exchange with Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, a Board-Certified internal medicine physician, speaker, and award-winning author. She is an international well-being thought leader and author of numerous books, including her bestseller Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity. Her insight on the seven types of rest helps people understand their specific rest deficits as a means to overcome burnout, increase overall happiness, and live more meaningful lives.
In this episode, you’ll identify what burnout looks and feels like, and you’ll start to recognize the effect sustained burnout can have on your quality of life and your relationships. You’ll recognize how living and growing up in a burnout culture has taught us to treat vacations as cures, and why those breaks never really relieve our emotional burdens. You’ll also learn about the seven types of specific rest you need, which of them you need more of, and practical ways you can start to nourish your rest deficits.
If you’re ready to rip the bandaid off of burnout culture and take the time to deepen your understanding of what rest is and start to get more of it, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (7:31 ) Exploring the Seven Types of Rest
- (16:31) Why you don’t feel rested after vacations and holidays
- (22:34) Practical ways to approach rest
- (33:00) Reclaiming your best work and relationships
- (42:22) The normalization of burnout
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 138: From Burnout Culture to Rest Culture with Saundra Dalton-Smith
Video: TED: The 7 types of rest every person needs Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith
Book: Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity by Saundra Dalton-Smith
FREE Quiz: Personal Rest Assessment
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect with Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith:
Website: DrDaltonSmith.com
Twitter Handle: @DrDaltonSmith
Facebook Page: Dr. Saundra Dalton – Smith
Instagram: @DrDaltonSmith
Pinterest: @DrDaltonSmith
Use the “Text Karlee” option above to send your Audio Comments and Questions to us.
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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You know the conversation is coming. It's on the calendar, or it's not even scheduled yet — you just know it needs to happen. And somehow it's already shown up in your shower, on your dog walk, and in your dinner plans three days early.
Preparation helps. Rumination doesn't. There's a real difference between getting ready for a hard conversation and carrying it around with you for a week.
This week, Karlee wraps up her two-part series, The Art of Not Carrying It All, by turning to a specific and painfully common version of this pattern: the important conversations we rehearse, dread, and mentally "win or lose" days before they ever happen. Drawing from a real client story about renegotiating leadership roles at a company, she explores why so many of us confuse gripping tightly with caring deeply, why unfinished conversations occupy so much mental real estate, and what it actually looks like to prepare well without preparing forever.
You'll hear the psychology behind why your brain won't let go of an unresolved meeting, a look at the research on rumination and why more thinking isn't the same as more wisdom, and a simple, physical practice for showing up "20% less heavy" to the conversations that matter most.
If you've ever rehearsed a hard conversation in the shower three days before it happens, this is the episode for you.
What You'll Learn in This Episode:
(00:00) A leadership team drowning in "heaviness" — confusing important with emotionally enormous
(03:03) Introducing the lighter touch: prep without white-knuckle gripping
(05:30) A preview of Part 2, plus a listener shoutout on staying grounded
(10:11) Why gripping narrows your field of vision
(13:03) Dread vs. courage — and the Zeigarnik effect on unfinished conversations
(15:56) The research on rumination, and a better question to ask yourself
(18:33) The lighter touch in practice: shifts for before, during, and after
(20:49) Closing thought: a hard conversation and a delightful Tuesday
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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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You finally got the thing. The revenue goal, the relationship, the city you always wanted to live in. And instead of settling into it, you're already scanning the horizon for what might take it away.
Arriving somewhere you once only dreamed about and immediately bracing for loss isn't a flaw in your character. It's a feature of your nervous system — and it's one you can learn to work with.
This week, Karlee kicks off a short two-part series called The Art of Not Carrying It All. Part one tackles something she sees constantly in high-achieving clients: the tendency to carry tomorrow's potential problems today, long before they're real. She unpacks why success doesn't automatically produce contentment, why our brains are wired to grip threats and let positives slide right past us, and why fearful over-preparing doesn't actually make us more prepared — just more exhausted.
You'll hear the neuroscience behind why good news doesn't "stick" the way bad news does, a reframe for the emotional toll of constantly bracing for impact, and a simple, practical question you can ask yourself the next time your mind starts spiraling into everything that could go wrong.
If you've ever caught yourself waiting for the other shoe to drop even when life is genuinely good, this is the episode for you.
What You'll Learn in This Episode:
- (00:00) A client who hit every goal on his list — and still couldn't relax into it
- (03:32) Introducing "The Art of Not Carrying It All" — a two-part series
- (05:01) Listener shoutout: Sarah on burnout, grace, and taking her foot off the gas
- (05:53) Why external success doesn't automatically create contentment
- (08:25) Rick Hanson's negativity bias — Velcro for the bad, Teflon for the good
- (11:49) Paying emotional interest on debts you don't owe yet
- (13:51) The simple practice: asking "what is also true?"
- (18:49) A preview of Part 2 — why difficult conversations dominate our headspace
Use the “Text Karlee” option above to send your Audio Comments and Questions to us.
Connect With Karlee:
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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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You didn't flip the table. You didn't storm out. You asked a completely reasonable question, took a breath, and kept the meeting moving. And then, somewhere between the conference room and the drive home, a familiar thought crept in: wait, was I the problem?
That quiet confusion after difficult conversations isn't a sign that something is wrong with you. It's a sign that something is wrong with the system.
Emotional maturity is not about making everyone comfortable. That's adaptation. And when capable, thoughtful people spend years adapting to someone else's volatility, the cost isn't only burnout. It's a slow, steady erosion of trust in their own perception.
This week, Karlee names a pattern she sees everywhere right now: thoughtful, high-capacity people carrying far more than their share of emotional labor, in workplaces, families, and relationships. She explores how emotionally immature systems gradually train otherwise capable people to mistrust their own instincts.
In this episode, you’ll learn why so many capable leaders leave difficult conversations feeling confused rather than clear, and what that confusion is actually signaling. You'll hear how emotional intelligence often develops not as a gift, but as a survival skill, and why that matters. And you'll come away with a practical way to start seeing patterns clearly enough to stop second-guessing your own reality.
If you’re ready to stop second-guessing your own reality and start seeing what's actually happening clearly enough to do something about it, this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (0:56) When the room organizes itself around the most reactive person in it
- (8:19) How emotionally immature systems gradually distort reasonable reactions
- (13:21) The true cost of emotional labor
- (14:34) A pen-and-paper tool for moving from emotional confusion to behavioral clarity
- (18:07) Reframing leadership and emotional responsibility
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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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Picture winning a Grammy. Fifty thousand people have been screaming your name. And yet, there you are, alone in a hotel suite, award in hand, with no one in the room who really knows what it cost to be you.
This real-life story from one of Karlee’s clients isn’t about ingratitude. It's a story about a very specific, very human ache.
And there is a name for it.
Popular isolation is what happens when you are deeply needed, widely respected, and surrounded by people who care — and still feel profoundly alone. Not because something is wrong with you. Because the people around you have learned to relate to your function, not your full humanity.
The more capable you become, the more invisible you can feel. And competence, for high achievers, has a quiet way of becoming camouflage.
This week, Karlee names this perplexing and rarely-spoken-about phenomenon and explains why high-functioning people are uniquely susceptible to it. And she explains why simply getting more support won't fully solve it.
In this episode, you'll hear the two-part antidote, shared ownership and inner rootedness, and the small, practical shifts that begin to redistribute the weight. You'll also learn why overfunctioning quietly erodes intimacy, and how being needed and being known are two very different things. And you'll leave with a clearer sense of what it actually looks like to reconnect to what gives you life, beyond your usefulness to everyone else.
If you're ready to stop disappearing inside what everyone else needs from you and start reconnecting to what actually gives you life, this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (4:10) Popular isolation, what it is and why naming it changes things
- (10:20) How competence quietly becomes camouflage for high achievers
- (13:00) Being needed is not the same as being known
- (17:30) Two practical ways to begin redistributing the load
- (21:00) Inner rootedness, the second half of the antidote
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
For book links: https://bookshop.org/shop/harriettsbookshop*
Use the “Text Karlee” option above to send your Audio Comments and Questions to us.
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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You've said the thing. You knew it needed to be said. And then… silence.
The moment passed, the meeting moved on, and you were left holding your clarity alone, wondering if you'd imagined the whole problem in the first place.
Seeing what needs to change and living inside a system that's ready to change it are two entirely different challenges.
This week, in the final episode of our five-part series on the unseen forces that shape how we lead and decide, Karlee brings the conversation home with a look at structure and power: the invisible architecture embedded in every team, organization, family, and friend group that quietly determines who gets heard, what gets rewarded, and what stays untouched.
In this episode, you'll learn why naming a problem doesn't automatically move it. You’ll hear how to read a room by what it does rather than what it says, and what it means to build enough discernment to protect your energy and still make progress that lasts.
If you’re ready to trade the exhaustion of swimming upstream for the clarity of seeing your situation accurately, and making grounded choices from there, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (11:43) Why we hesitate to speak up
- (15:30) Why systems are designed to resist change, even when the people inside them can clearly see what needs to shift
- (18:27) How to read a system by its consistent actions rather than its stated values
- (20:21) Why building discernment is what keeps your energy from being wasted
- (23:32) Why you should never navigate a system change alone
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 203: Why Everything Feels Urgent (Even When It Isn’t) | The Hidden Pattern Driving Rushed Decisions
Episode 204: Why Bad Leaders End Up in Charge | How to Interrupt Adrenaline Leadership
Episode 205: When the Room Feels Heavy | Emotional Contagion and the Hidden Cost of Walking on Eggshells
Episode 206:
Brown, Adrienne Maree. Emergent Strategy: Shaping Change, Changing Worlds. AK Press, 2017.
Heifetz, Ronald A. Leadership Without Easy Answers. Harvard University Press, 1994.
Kahneman, Daniel. Thinking, Fast and Slow. Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2011.
People Mentioned in this Episode:
James Baldwin
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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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You've been in that room. Everyone is talking, the agenda is moving, and somehow nothing real is getting said. The actual conversation, the one about the tension, the unspoken disagreement, the thing everyone's been thinking, that one waits until the parking lot or the group text.
This isn't a communication problem. It's a comfort problem. And recognizing the difference is the key to finally changing it.
This week, Karlee continues the series on unseen forces that shape how we think, decide, and lead. Today's force is one of the most quietly costly: adjacent talking. It's the way groups orbit what actually matters without ever quite landing on it. Whether it shows up in a boardroom, a team meeting, a family dinner, or a friend group, the pattern is the same. And it's far more workable than most of us realize.
In this episode, you’ll learn what it looks like when a group is talking around something instead of about it, why this behavior is a human pattern rooted in decades of research rather than a personal failing, and three precise, low-pressure moves to shift a group from adjacent talking toward real, productive conversation.
If you’re ready to understand why the most important conversations keep happening after the meeting, and what you can do to bring them into the room, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (4:22) What adjacent talking is and why every group does it
- (9:45) The research on groupthink and why even brilliant leaders aren't immune
- (14:30) Three real-world patterns of adjacent talking to watch for
- (20:15) Why speaking up is about the environment, not your confidence
- (25:00) Three shifts that move a group from circling to saying
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 203: Why Everything Feels Urgent (Even When It Isn’t) | The Hidden Pattern Driving Rushed Decisions
Episode 204: Why Bad Leaders End Up in Charge | How to Interrupt Adrenaline Leadership
Episode 205: Why Bad Leaders End Up in Charge | How to Interrupt Adrenaline Leadership
Janis, Irving L. Victims of Groupthink: A Psychological Study of Foreign-Policy Decisions and Fiascoes. Houghton Mifflin, 1972.
Edmondson, Amy C. "Psychological Safety and Learning Behavior in Work Teams." Administrative Science Quarterly, vol. 44, no. 2, 1999, pp. 350–383.
Use the “Text Karlee” option above to send your Audio Comments and Questions to us.
Connect With Karlee:
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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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You've walked into a room and felt it before you could name it. Something's off. The air is thicker than it should be. The conversation is polite, but doesn’t feel authentic. And without anyone saying a word, you've quietly shifted yourself to match the temperature.
This isn't coincidence. It's contagion. And most of us are both affected by it and contributing to it, often without realizing it.
This week, Karlee shares the third installment of an ongoing series on the unseen forces inside organizations. Drawing on research from social and organizational psychology, Karlee explores how emotional tone travels — quickly and largely unconsciously — and how the person with the most influence in a room often becomes the thermostat for everyone else in it.
In this episode, you’ll learn how emotional climates form beneath the surface of even high-functioning teams. You’ll discover why the same question can either unlock your best thinking or shut it down entirely depending on who's asking, and what the difference between reactive and regulated leadership actually looks like in practice. You’ll also take away three quiet questions that can help you get oriented when a room feels like something is happening that no one is naming.
If you’re ready to stop doing invisible emotional labor and start putting that energy back where it belongs, into the thinking, the voice, and the work that actually matters, this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (4:45) What emotional contagion is and why leaders are especially powerful carriers
- (9:10) Challenge state vs. threat state: how the same question lands completely differently depending on who's asking
- (14:00) The difference between reactive leadership and regulated leadership
- (19:30) What a CEO did when she noticed an unspoken adversarial tone in her C-suite and why naming it was the turning point
- (24:15) Three questions to ask yourself quietly when a room feels tense but nobody's talking about it
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Sy, T., Côté, S., & Saavedra, R. (2005).
The contagious leader: Impact of the leader’s mood on the mood of group members, group affective tone, and group processes.
Journal of Applied Psychology, 90(2), 295–305
https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2005-02538-007
Fonseca, R., Blascovich, J., & Garcia-Marques, T. (2014). Challenge and threat motivation: Effects on superficial and elaborative information processing. Frontiers in Psychology.
https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2014.01170/full
Martin, Shannan. The Ministry of Ordinary Places
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Elaine Hatfield
John T. Cacioppo
Richard L. Rapson
Jim Blascovich
Shannan Martin
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Have you ever watched someone speak with such speed and conviction that the entire room just followed? No pause, no pushback, no second glance…and later wondered how things went so sideways?
The most quietly damaging pattern inside many organizations isn't strategy. It's this: we confuse how someone sounds with how well they've actually thought something through.
Intensity isn't competency. Conviction isn't accuracy. And once you see the difference, you cannot unsee it.
This week, Karlee dives into part two of a multi-part series on the patterns that shape how we lead — often without us realizing it. She takes the conversation one layer deeper than urgency into what actually fuels it: adrenaline as a leadership style.
In this episode, you’ll learn why certainty can feel like the most convincing thing in a room without being the most grounded. You’ll discover what research tells us about how confidence gets mistaken for capability, and you’ll take away practical questions you can use right now to shift any conversation from default speed to real productive thinking.
If you’re ready to move from running on adrenaline to leading from something steadier and more true, this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (7:22) What happens in the body and the room when adrenaline increases certainty
- (9:05) The research on why fast, confident speakers are perceived as more competent
- (11:17)Overconfidence bias: what the science says about people who are the most certain and the least accurate
- (15:44) A clear breakdown of intensity-led versus competency-led leadership and what each one actually produces over time
- (19:38) Questions that shift a room from untested certainty to inquiry
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 203: Why Everything Feels Urgent (Even When It Isn’t) | The Hidden Pattern Driving Rushed Decisions
Dunning–Kruger Effect (Confidence ≠ Competence): Dunning, D., & Kruger, J. (1999).
Unskilled and unaware of it: How difficulties in recognizing one’s own incompetence lead to inflated self-assessments. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
Speaking First & Confidence Influence Group Perception: Anderson, C., & Kilduff, G. J. (2009).
Why do dominant personalities attain influence in face-to-face groups? The competence-signaling effects of trait dominance. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
Time Pressure & Decision-Making (Urgency Signal): Cisek, P., et al. (2021).
Urgency disrupts cognitive control of decision-making. The Journal of Neuroscience
Overconfidence Bias: Moore, D. A., & Healy, P. J. (2008).
The trouble with overconfidence. Psychological Review
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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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There's a particular kind of exhaustion that comes from moving fast and still ending up behind.
A decision gets made in a meeting, not because the moment demanded it, but because the agenda was full and the next thing was already starting. It felt like forward motion. Three weeks later, the team is back at the table, unpacking assumptions, redoing the work.
This is what unnecessary urgency looks like when it quietly becomes the operating system — and most of us are taught to run on it without ever consciously choosing it.
This week, Karlee opens a new short series on the unnamed forces that erode our clearest thinking and most grounded leadership. First up: unnecessary urgency — what's fueling it beneath the surface, how it disguises itself as competence, and what opens up when we trade false speed for genuine clarity.
In this episode, you’ll learn why your nervous system is wired to treat pressure like an emergency, how to tell the difference between a decision that genuinely needs to be made now and a question that deserves more time, and why awe, in the most unexpected, mundane, moments, turns out to be one of the most disarming leadership tools available to us.
If you’re ready to stop sprinting past your own best thinking and lead with the kind of steadiness that doesn't require cleanup, this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (9:22) Why unnecessary urgency isn't a personal failing
- (11:48) How time pressure lowers the brain's threshold for certainty
- (14:10) Urgency-led vs. clarity-led leadership
- (20:40) Why awe expands perception when urgency narrows it
- (28:05) The structural layer: when urgency gets baked into the organization itself
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
ENROLL: The Heroic Leadership Journey
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Dacher Keltner
Citations:
Rudd, M., Vohs, K. D., & Aaker, J. Rudd, M., Vohs, K. D., & Aaker, J. (2012). Awe expands people's perception of time, alters decision making, and enhances well-being. Psychological Science, 23(10), 1130–1136.
Keltner, D., & Haidt, J. Keltner, D., & Haidt, J. (2003). Approaching awe, a moral, spiritual, and aesthetic emotion. Cognition & Emotion, 17(2), 297–314.
Gordon, A. M., et al. Gordon, A. M., Stellar, J. E., Anderson, C. L., McNeil, G. D., Loew, D., & Keltner, D. (2017). The dark side of the sublime: Distinguishing a threat-based variant of awe. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 113(2), 310–328.
Use the “Text Karlee” option above to send your Audio Comments and Questions to us.
Connect With Karlee:
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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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That late-night ping on your phone. The one that lights up after you've finally given yourself permission to be done for the day.
You open it and find it's not urgent. And something in your chest tightens, because earlier that same day, the person who just sent it circulated an article about not overworking.
That feeling is indicative of a leadership maturity gap. And it's more common, more costly, and more fixable than most of us realize.
When we don't have language for what we're witnessing, we internalize dysfunction. But when we understand maturity as a leadership variable, we stop riding the emotional storm and start building the architecture that holds everyone to their best.
This week, Karlee digs into one of the most practical distinctions in leadership: the difference between immature and mature leadership — not as personality types, but as nervous system patterns. She walks through how both show up behaviorally, why organizations so often reward the immature kind, and how to apply this framework to what's actually happening in your work and life right now.
In this episode, you’ll explore why emotional regulation is measurably linked to leadership performance, how to recognize maturity gaps in yourself and others without shame or blame, and what it actually looks like to be the adult in the room.
If you’re ready to trade the emotional roller coaster for something steadier, rooted, more clear, and genuinely effective, this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (8:45) Immature leadership defined
- (14:30) What mature leadership actually looks like in real life
- (21:00) Why organizations keep promoting immature leaders
- (26:15) A four-part diagnostic for naming maturity gaps
- (32:30) How simple changes return our sense of coherence
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 201: When Words and Actions Don’t Match · The 4 Types of Power
Research: "Emotional Regulation Strategies and Leadership Performance." Frontiers in Psychology, 2023.
Research: "Emotional Intelligence and Transformational and Transactional Leadership: A Meta-Analysis." Journal of Leadership & Organizational Studies, 2010.
Research: Springer Nature — Emotional intelligence, communication, and employee engagement outcomes in organizational leadership contexts.
Use the “Text Karlee” option above to send your Audio Comments and Questions to us.
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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You've probably felt it lately…that low-grade frustration of watching a conversation that's supposed to go somewhere, go nowhere.
Whether it's a congressional hearing, a leadership meeting, or a dinner table debate, there's a particular kind of disorienting feeling when the people in charge seem most skilled at not actually saying anything.
Language expands, but meaning contracts.
Lots of words, lots of volume — but what's really being communicated? And more importantly: what do you do when what someone says and what they do are two completely different things?
The truth is: leadership behaviors are rarely random. They're almost always the expression of an underlying belief about power.
When we understand the kind of power someone is operating from, we stop getting pulled into reactive cycles. And we can stay focused on building the kind of structures that create real, lasting progress.
This week, Karlee revisits one of the most foundational episodes of the show, originally recorded in 2020, but perhaps even more essential right now. She unpacks the 4 types of power operating all around us, and invites us to ask not just what kind of leadership we're witnessing — but what kind we're inhabiting.
In this episode, you’ll learn that real leadership is about bringing out the potential in people, not hoarding power at the top. The more we share power, the greater it becomes. And whether you've been lifted up by a great leader or are currently weathering an ineffective one, this episode is a reminder that we deserve to be nourished by the structures we're part of, not diminished by them.
If you’re ready to see beneath the surface of the power dynamics in your workplace, your community, and your politics, and choose how you want to respond, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (6:32) What leadership actually means and why it's a responsibility, not a rank
- (9:26) The purpose of your power: what you're really building when you claim it
- (13:24) The 4 types of power - and which one is quietly running the room you're in
- (15:52) What happens when leaders believe power is scarce
- (25:07) The Godzilla Effect: how to know what to trust when someone's words and actions aren't lining up
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Buildings and Bridges by Ani DiFranco
Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. by Brené Brown
Real Teams Win: What Smart Leaders Need to Know Now About Achieving Peak Performance by Thomas L. Steding
The Purpose of Power: How We Come Together When We Fall Apart by Alicia Garza
Black Lives Matter
Lady Don't Take No Podcast with Alicia Garza
People Mentioned In This Episode:
Maria Sirois
Brené Brown
Tom Steding
Alicia Garza
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"Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it."
Mary Oliver wrote those words, and they've become something like a quiet compass for meaningful work. A reminder to stay awake to what's here, let it move you, and share what you notice.
This week marks episode 200 of Messy & Magnificent—20 seasons, over six years, hundreds of conversations held between us. And what Karlee keeps noticing isn't just that the podcast has continued, but how.
Most of us don't walk away from what matters because we stop caring. We walk away because the way we're trying to stay has become unsustainable.
Staying with something that matters isn't about willpower. It's about creating conditions that make staying possible.
This week, Karlee shares three specific practices that have made staying with the podcast possible, and the practices that are helping leaders stay with what matters to them, too. This milestone is less celebration, more reflection. Less confetti, more candlelight. It's a pause at the threshold to notice what actually makes it possible to keep showing up for work that matters without burning yourself down in the process.
In this episode, you’ll learn why reaching out for support isn't a sign of weakness but a strategic move that turns mountains back into molehills. You’ll hear how giving your projects permission to evolve (rather than forcing them to stay the same or scrapping them entirely) creates the breathing room that makes long arcs possible, and why small, consistent progress beats perfection every time when it comes to staying engaged with meaningful work.
If you’re ready to explore what makes staying with something meaningful feel possible instead of heroic, then this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (5:15) When asking for help becomes the next right step
- (11:30) How permission to evolve protects what matters most
- (14:45) What NASA's Mars Rover teaches us about adaptation
- (17:20) Why consistency matters more than perfection
- (22:45) The conditions that make long arcs possible
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Book: The Progress Principle: Using Small Wins to Ignite Joy, Engagement, and Creativity at Work by Teresa Amabile & Steven J. Kramer
Article: Amabile, Teresa & Kramer, Steven. "The Power of Small Wins." Harvard Business Review (2011)
Research: Edmondson, Amy C. "Psychological Safety and Learning Behavior in Work Teams." Administrative Science Quarterly (1999)
Book: The Fearless Organization: Creating Psychological Safety in the Workplace for Learning, Innovation, and Growth by Amy Edmondson, Wiley (2018)
Article: "Why Flexibility Is Key in Modern Project Management." Agile Business Consortium
Poem: Oliver, Mary. "Sometimes"
Connect With Karlee:
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Do you regularly you reach for your phone to reply to messages or emails that could wait? Commit to things before you've even felt out whether it's a true yes? Try to keep up with a kind of momentum that you didn’t create?
When the world around us feels compressed and urgent, a subtle kind of imbalance happens. We tend to match its pace without realizing we've made that choice.
We lose our footing. We compress our days, shorten our response times, and mistake busyness for progress—all while telling ourselves this is what responsibility looks like.
Sometimes that sense of urgency we feel comes dressed up as responsibility. But the underlying truth is that we’re being led by fear.
This week, Karlee reflects on what she's been noticing in herself and in the leaders she works with: the creep of false urgency and what gets lost when we mistake speed for competence.
In this episode, you'll learn how to distinguish between real urgency and inherited momentum, why the strongest leaders aren't always the fastest responders, and how to rebuild your sense of authority when everything around you feels like it's moving too quickly.
If this sense of having to respond quickly and fast and perfectly is not quite working for you and what you're craving is more clarity than chaos, this is the episode for you..
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (7:18) What gets lost when we move too fast
- (12:35) Why the best teams follow leaders who ask questions
- (15:20) A simple practice for breaking the urgency cycle in real time
- (17:45) The shift that lets you stop proving and start leading from your own values
- (20:15) Why rest isn't something you earn
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
ENROLL: The Heroic Leadership Journey
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Maria Sirois
Heather Cox Richardson
Amy Edmondson
Citations:
Edmondson, A. C. Edmondson, A. C. (2018). The Fearless Organization: Creating Psychological Safety in the Workplace for Learning, Innovation, and Growth. Wiley.
Edmondson, A. C. (1999). Psychological safety and learning behavior in work teams. Administrative Science Quarterly, 44(2), 350–383.
Ericsson, A., Pool, R., & Coyle, D. Ericsson, A., & Pool, R. (2016). Peak: Secrets from the New Science of Expertise. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
Damasio, A. R. Damasio, A. R. (1994). Descartes’ Error: Emotion, Reason, and the Human Brain. Putnam.
Kegan, R., & Lahey, L. L. Kegan, R., & Lahey, L. L. (2009). Immunity to Change: How to Overcome It and Unlock the Potential in Yourself and Your Organization. Harvard Business Press.
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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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What if the future you're longing for has already been trying to reach you?
Your next season might not arrive with a blueprint. Instead of showing up as a clear strategy, it begins as something quieter: a gut feeling, a pull toward something you can't quite name yet.
Our future starts the moment we stop overriding the small, honest signals inside ourselves.
This week, Karlee concludes The Midnight Leadership Trilogy with Part 3, exploring the future that's already trying to get your attention. It's about learning to hear the whispers—the subtle leanings, the quiet longings, the hunches that feel alive even when they don't make logical sense yet.
In this episode, you'll hear about a client who felt both bored and unsettled, and why it wasn’t burn out, but a calling forward. You’ll learn why baby sea turtles always paddle toward the ocean, no matter which way you hold them, and how your brain's default mode network stitches together past experience with future possibilities.
If you're ready to respect those migration signals inside you and explore what's trying to emerge, then this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (4:33) A story of being called forward
- (6:01) Why we don't need to name what's next to begin moving toward it
- (6:51) Sea turtles, internal compasses, and your body's wisdom
- (9:46) The default mode network: clarity comes from pause, not pressure
- (13:41) Questions to flesh out your hunches and migration signals
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 196- The Midnight Leadership Trilogy | Part 1: The Thing You’ve Known All Along
Episode 197- The Midnight Leadership Trilogy | Part 2: The Weight You Don’t Have to Carry into the New Year
REGISTER: The Heroic Leadership Journey
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Dr. Maria Sirois
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Connect With Karlee:
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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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What if the heaviness you're carrying isn't actually responsibility?
Sometimes we mistake obligation for commitment, or we confuse what kept us safe with what will carry us forward. But underneath that sense of duty, there's often another truth…
Some of the things you're carrying were never meant to be carried this long.
And they're certainly not meant to be carried into what's next.
This week, Karlee continues The Midnight Leadership Trilogy with Part 2, exploring the weight you don't need to take with you into the new year. Counter to dropping your priorities or having to choose between what matters most, this is about recognizing when you're carrying something in an outdated way that no longer serves you.
In this episode, you'll hear a story about a soft but clear message of letting go. You'll discover why the identity that built your success isn't always the one that carries you forward, and why your brain already knows how to release what's complete.
If you're ready to set down what no longer fits so there's room for what's trying to arrive, then this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (1:59) The founder who realized her old identity couldn't carry her forward
- (4:46) A pervasive myth: “If I don't hold everything, it will fall apart.”
- (6:50) The season of integration and the discomfort it brings
- (11:26) Synaptic pruning: how your brain already knows how to let go
- (16:18) Creating space for the future that awaits
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 196- The Midnight Leadership Trilogy | Part 1: The Thing You’ve Known All Along
REGISTER: The Heroic Leadership Journey
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Dr. Maria Sirois
Use the “Text Karlee” option above to send your Audio Comments and Questions to us.
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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Does your inner season feel disconnected from what's on your calendar?
The gap between what looks right on paper and what feels right in your body isn't confusion. That's wisdom trying to get your attention. It's a cue to pause and listen.
Because the truth you've been avoiding, the quiet knowing that something needs to shift, is exactly what will guide you forward.
This is the bridge between what was and what's next, and it’s where transformation begins.
This week, Karlee launches The Midnight Leadership Trilogy, a three-part mini-series for leaders, caregivers, and vision holders who are in the middle of their own story. This isn't about performing leadership the way you were taught. It's about the quiet, steady questions that make a life and career worth living.
In this episode, you’ll learn why your body keeps an inner calendar and how to identify what season you're truly in. You’ll find out what becomes possible when you stop performing the season you think you should be in and start honoring the one you're actually living.
If you're ready to name the truth you've been carrying — the thing you've perhaps known all along — then this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (4:05) Asking yourself the deep questions
- (7:51) What the tug of inner knowing feels like
- (8:50) Determining what season you’re actually living
- (11:55) Why clarity comes from naming truth, not pushing forward
- (13:20) What's up next: The Heroic Leadership Journey and Part 2
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
REGISTER: The Heroic Leadership Journey
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Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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Here's a question we don’t tend to ask ourselves: What if the dark isn't something to escape?
What if chaos, disintegration, and incoherence are just natural parts of living? Like soil in the earth where things regenerate and new life takes root.
Instead of asking "How fast can I get out of this hard time?" What if we started asking, "What am I bringing to the dark?"
That question hands the power back to you. It makes you the protagonist of your own story again, even when things feel out of your control.
This week, Karlee concludes the 3-part series, Staying Steady. This is the final conversation she co-taught with Dr. Maria Sirois, where truth and tending mature into transformation. You'll hear Maria share the raw truth about a dark year, and why reflecting on the ancient myth of Persephone has helped her reframe the experience.
In this episode, you’ll learn why dark moments aren't punishment but part of the work. You'll learn how to become the narrator of your own story, and three practical ways to stay steady when your eyes are still adjusting to what's now true. You’ll also learn the value of inviting mercy, humor, and presence into difficult seasons.
If you’re ready to stop exhausting yourself trying to avoid what's uncomfortable and instead bring the best of yourself to the darkness, then this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (08:56) Permission to stop pretending the dark is easy
- (09:45) Ask yourself: "What am I bringing to the dark?"
- (10:13) How Persephone inhabits the underworld with purpose
- (11:21) What steadiness really means when your eyes are adjusting
- (15:19) Acts of bravery in times of chaos
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 193: The Steady Center Series | Part One: Fairy Wings in a Wild World
Episode 194: The Steady Center Series | Part 2: Regeneration Begins Where Depletion Is Named
REPLAY: Staying Steady in Chaotic Times with Karlee Fain and Maria Sirois
REGISTER: The Heroic Leadership Journey
People Mentioned in this Episode:
- Dr. Maria Sirois
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If you woke up tired today, not from a crisis, but just from living, this one's for you.
Because here's the thing: most of us don't break down because we're weak. We get worn out because we've been strong for too darn long.
You know how to show up. You know how to push through. But do you know how to notice the person inside the body doing all of that?
That's where regeneration comes in. And no, we're not talking about self-care Instagram posts or bubble baths (though those are nice). We're talking about what happens when your life and your work start giving back to you as much as you're giving to them.
This week, Karlee rolls out Part 2 of the Staying Steady series, based on the course she co-taught with Dr. Maria Sirois. Together, they explore what it means to tend to what matters when the good and the difficult collide, and why work that lasts begins with honest tending, not heroic pushing.
In this episode, you'll hear why fear multiplies itself and where to find "high safety" when things feel overwhelming. You'll discover the bold question about breaking the rules of complacency that can shift everything, and why narrowing the lens when overwhelm takes hold makes things feel possible.
If you’re ready to stop leaking energy and create space for life to give back to you, then this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (06:36) Understanding fear as a multiplier
- (08:17) Three practical approaches for regenerative leadership
- (15:05) What rules of complacency did you break just to be here?
- (17:44) Chunking down: One act of care that's available right now
- (18:44) Why strong people get worn out (and what to do about it)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 193: The Steady Center Series | Part One: Fairy Wings in a Wild World
REPLAY: Staying Steady in Chaotic Times with Karlee Fain and Maria Sirois
REGISTER: The Heroic Leadership Journey
People Mentioned in this Episode:
- Dr. Maria Sirois
- Mark Nepo
Use the “Text Karlee” option above to send your Audio Comments and Questions to us.
Connect With Karlee:
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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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We cannot transform what we won’t touch.
It takes real valor to tell the truth about what’s not working, especially when life feels both brutal and beautiful all at once. For leaders, caregivers, and high achievers, it can seem absurd to care so fiercely about the world and still need to answer emails, load the dishwasher, or fold laundry. Yet this is the paradox of modern leadership: holding what’s enormous and what’s ordinary in the same pair of hands.
This week, Karlee launches a new three-part series, The Steady Center, for anyone determined to lead with courage and care in chaotic times. Together with her longtime friend and colleague, Dr. Maria Sirois, she explores how to stay steady when life wobbles.
You’ll learn how to name what’s not working, find your footing between apathy and overdrive, and rediscover the quiet valor that steadiness requires, because honesty is the soil every kind of regeneration grows from.
If you’re ready to stop spinning your wheels alone and begin cultivating steadiness from the inside out, this conversation will remind you: honesty and tenderness are your most courageous starting points.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (05:41) Telling the truth about what’s not working
- (07:32) Nurturing honesty as the soil where steadiness grows
- (10:55) Why small, tender acts matter more than we realize
- (14:46) The two ends of the spectrum: apathy and overdrive
- (17:01) How to find your steady center between both extremes
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
REPLAY: Staying Steady in Chaotic Times with Karlee Fain and Maria Sirois
REGISTER: The Heroic Leadership Journey
For book links: https://bookshop.org/shop/harriettsbookshop*
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Maria Sirois
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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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If your brain still whispers, “If I don’t do it, it won’t get done,” you’re not alone.
High-achievers and caregivers alike have been conditioned to believe that love means carrying it all — every project, every person, every crisis. But what if that belief is quietly depleting the very ecosystem you’re meant to thrive in?
This week, Karlee invites us to explore what happens when we stop trying to be everything for everyone. She blends modern neuroscience and ancient wisdom to reveal how reciprocity — giving and receiving — restores balance in our lives.
In this episode, you’ll hear how over-functioning crept into our culture, why our brains are wired for mutual care, and three gentle practices that make it safe to be supported again. Plus, Karlee shares her first-ever public poem, “Root Among Roots,” a heartfelt reminder that we were never meant to hold the whole mountain alone.
If you’re ready to stop over-functioning and start belonging again, this is your invitation back to an ecosystem that holds you, too.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (8:21) The poem that started it all: Root Among Roots.
- (12:45) What neuroscience reveals about giving and reciprocity.
- (18:30) Why asking for help isn’t weakness — it’s biology.
- (22:12) Three practical ways to restore balance and receive support.
- (28:40) How to practice boundaries that breathe — and still belong.
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Poem: Root Among Roots by Karlee Fain
Join Karlee for free on Substack
Study: Inagaki TK, Bryne Haltom KE, Suzuki S, Jevtic I, Hornstein E, Bower JE, Eisenberger NI. The Neurobiology of Giving Versus Receiving Support: The Role of Stress-Related and Social Reward-Related Neural Activity. Psychosom Med. 2016 May;78(4):443-53. doi: 10.1097/PSY.0000000000000302. PMID: 26867078; PMCID: PMC4851591.
Retreat: Better Boundaries, Finally at Kripalu (Oct. 31 – Nov. 2)
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Dr. Tristen Inagaki
Mary Oliver
Adrienne Marie Brown
Dr. Maria Sirois
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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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The world tells us progress is measured in speed, output, and proof. Yet some of the most powerful shifts happen in the smallest, quietest moments—a breath you actually notice, a slow stir of the pot, a walk with no destination.
What if the habits that seem “unproductive” are the very ones that make you steadier, clearer, and braver in your leadership?
This week, Karlee unpacks the paradox of modern leadership: the more responsibility you carry, the more essential it is to slow down. She shares meaningful research on the link between boredom and creativity that demonstrates the healing effects of nature, proving that even just 30 seconds of steadiness in your day matters.
In this episode, you’ll learn how to use simple pauses as fuel. You’ll explore why reclaiming slowness actually sharpens your decisions and deepens your impact. And, you’ll hear a true client story of how one small nourishing and practical exercise transformed their health and work life.
If you’re ready to replace burnout with steadiness and lead with clarity, calm, and courage, this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (3:12) Why wise leadership often begins with practices that don’t show up on a spreadsheet
- (10:18) How boredom activates the brain’s default mode network and sparks creativity
- (14:09) Why just 30 seconds of calm steadies your body and mind
- (18:02) A nurse’s story: one simple habit that restored energy and improved patient care
- (20:47) A practical question to anchor steadiness in your daily life
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Study: Mann, Sandi and Cadman, Rebekah (2014) Does Being Bored Make Us More Creative? Creativity Research Journal, 26 (2). pp. 165-173. ISSN 1040-0419
Study: Hunter MR, Gillespie BW and Chen SY-P (2019) Urban Nature Experiences Reduce Stress in the Context of Daily Life Based on Salivary Biomarkers. Front. Psychol. 10:722. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2019.00722
JOIN US October 14, 7pm EST: Leadership Circle: Staying Steady in a Chaotic Moment: Showing Up Bravely — Even When You Don’t Have All the Answers.
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Dr. Maria Sirois
Suzy Banks Baum
Mary Oliver
Albert Einstein
Maya Angelou
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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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The air is getting cooler, the light is waning earlier each night, and yet…the drumbeat to “finish strong” grows louder. The pressure to do more is palpable, to push harder and squeeze just a little extra out of yourself before the year ends.
But that call to “finish strong”, well… by year's end, it leaves us feeling weaker. And if your inner life is running on fumes, is that really success?
What if real strength felt less like exhaustion and more like steadiness? Less about overextending and more about aligning?
This week, Karlee explains that finishing strong isn’t about how much you can wring out of your calendar. Instead of driving yourself into the ground, what if you finished the year steady, replenished, and proud of the care you extended along the way?
In this episode, you’ll hear why redefining success right now could change not just your calendar, but your nervous system and the well-being of everyone you lead. From honoring the natural rhythm of seasonal shifts to recognizing the hidden costs of emotional bankruptcy, this is your roadmap to finish the year steady, nourished, and genuinely strong.
If you’re ready to measure success by both your solvency and your soul so you can finish the year grounded, joyful, and proud of how you led, then this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (03:11) The brilliance of seasonal shifts, and why hustle culture gets it wrong
- (06:22) When did “success” become synonymous with exhaustion?
- (10:45) How neglecting your inner life impacts your team and home
- (16:09) The Money & Meaning practice: a reset you can do right now
- (17:45) One small, anchored step to hold for the next two weeks
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 189: Putting the Self in Success: How to shape your goals around what gives you joy and meaning.
Join us at the Kripalu Center, October 31- November 2: Better Boundaries| A Gateway to Authentic Living
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Dr. Maria Sirois
Parker Palmer
Linda Hogan
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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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As the air shifts and the year leans toward its close, it’s easy to get swept up in the rush. New strategies, fresh pivots, the endless push for “more.” But what if the most powerful move isn’t chasing something new, but noticing what’s already working and leaning into that?
This is the season to reconnect with your own definition of success. Not the one shaped by other people’s expectations, but the one rooted in what truly nourishes you.
Real, meaningful success depends on your reference point.
Our goals have to be shaped around what we value in and for ourselves, rather than what others value in and about us.
If you’re calibrating your goals based on the preferences, priorities, and needs of others over what you know to be true for you, then YOU aren’t the reference point.
And that’s gotta change.
In this episode, Karlee revisits one of our most-loved episodes about the difference between self-referencing a goal versus other-referencing a goal. She explains why the distinction matters if you want to feel less like you’re chasing and more like you’re coming home to yourself.
You’ll hear stories of leaders redefining success in real time, lessons from a beloved grandmother’s enduring optimism, and a simple practice that will help you identify what’s most life-giving for you right now. You’ll be reminded that you already hold the wisdom, clarity, and resources to create goals that align with your joy and meaning. All that’s left is to pause, listen inward, and give yourself permission to honor what matters most.
If you’re ready to lead your values at the forefront, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (9:39) Why progress without definition can feel like a moving target
- (12:57) The difference between self-referenced and other-referenced goals
- (15:10) A candid story of redefining success at a pivotal life moment
- (18:37) The 3 W’s that reveal your values
- (25:29) How to incorporate what you value into your plans and daily life
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Jen Delos Reyes
Nancy Levin
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 113: Building a Stronger Basket: How to plug up the leaks of what’s draining you and preserve more energy for the things you value.
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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When was the last time you slowed down long enough to notice what truly matters?
In a culture that glorifies endless productivity, it can feel radical to measure our lives not by what we produce but by what we prioritize.
And yet, the research, and our lived experience, is clear…
Doing more doesn’t necessarily mean achieving more.
Choosing to honor your pace is not indulgence, it’s leadership. It’s innovation. It’s what makes your contributions last.
This week, Karlee invites you into a season of discernment, replenishment, and permission to honor what’s essential. From an eight-year-old’s wisdom about the importance of water, to lessons from farmers, thinkers, and even board games, this episode is a reminder that true leadership isn’t about hustling harder. It’s about cultivating the rhythms that sustain us.
In this episode, we’ll explore how to release the pressure of “shoulds,” how to spot the difference between real urgency and false urgency, and how to make space for the life-giving priorities that nourish us and those we lead. If you’ve been carrying too much, rushing through days without replenishment, or wondering what to let go of so that what really matters can flourish, you’ll learn practical ways to identify and focus on what matters most.
If you’re ready to replenish where you can, let go of what you don’t need to carry, and remember what’s really important, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (1:45) How an 8-year-old reminded Karlee of life’s most essential priority
- (4:12) The surprising research that proves productivity plateaus
- (6:25) How prolific thinkers like Darwin sustained their genius
- (8:33) A farmer’s wisdom on discerning true urgency from false urgency
- (11:02) Three prompts to help you clarify what matters most this season
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Jen Salineti
References:
1. Productivity drops after 50 hours a week
- A Stanford University study found that output per hour sharply declines after 50 hours of work per week, and plummets entirely after 55 hours. People working 70 hours produce nothing more than those working 55.
Ref: John Pencavel, Stanford University, “The Productivity of Working Hours” (2014)
2. Sleep deprivation = poor decision making
- The Harvard Business Review reports that lack of sleep costs U.S. businesses over $63 billion annually in lost productivity, primarily due to poor decision-making and reduced creativity.
Ref: Hafner et al., RAND Corp (2016); HBR summary, “Sleep Deprivation is Killing You and Your Career.”
3. Rest enhances creativity and innovation
- Neuroscientist Alex Soojung-Kim Pang documents how “deliberate rest” boosts creativity and productivity, showing that some of history’s most prolific innovators (Darwin, Dickens, etc.) worked only ~4 focused hours/day, leaving space for rest and reflection.
Ref: Alex Soojung-Kim Pang, Rest: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less (2016)
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“Just to like live it.”
That's what seven-year-old Julian said when asked about the meaning of life.
Kids really do know things we forget.
One of those things is the pure joy in the simplicity of just living life, basking in the moment.
Why talk about basking when everyone's telling you to hustle harder?
Because in a culture that equates worth with output, choosing your own pace isn't just self-care—it's revolutionary.
We can't build regenerative leadership on speed alone. Even in a car, we shift our cadence when appropriate. Sometimes the most strategic thing you can do is slow down long enough to let something good actually land.
So if you've been craving permission to not have it all figured out, to take a breath, and to remember what actually matters, you're in the right place.
This week, Karlee shares lessons from "Aunt Camp", a sacred summertime tradition with her niece and nephews, about why basking isn't laziness. It's strategic. You'll hear real client stories about how tiny shifts can lead to major boundary changes, and why slowing down a lucrative business deal actually made it stronger.
In this episode, you'll learn how to discern your right pace, why doing less in one area creates space for fullness in another, and how rest becomes resistance in systems built on exhaustion.
If you're ready to be reminded that busy and impactful aren't the same thing, then this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (6:19) How to discern your right pace and intensity
- (8:52) Why doing less is often the most strategic option
- (11:16) Prompts to consider when you’re ready to start basking
- (12:03) Embracing the presence of joy and the power of rest
- (15:12) Permission to soften (without losing your edge)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Book: Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto by Trisha Hershey
Book: The Use Of Life by John Lubbock
Quotes Mentioned in this Episode:
"Rest is not idleness. And to lie sometimes on the grass, under the trees on a summer's day, is by no means a waste of time." John Lubbock from The Use of Life (1894)
"Joy is not made to be a crumb." Mary Oliver poem: "Don't Hesitate"
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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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If you're the one everyone comes to for solutions, the one who holds it all together at home and work, have you ever wondered…”Why is it always me?”
Being "the fixer" isn't just about what we do. It's about the internal compulsion we feel to step in, solve problems, and carry the weight when things get hard. It's the guilt we experience when we can't fix everything, and the quiet exhaustion that comes from constantly managing not just our own lives, but everyone else's too.
So why does it always fall on you?
The truth is that you developed this role for good reasons. It's served you and others well. But if it's becoming unsustainable, there are ways to shift the dynamic without abandoning your natural gifts or feeling guilty about creating the boundaries you need.
This week, Karlee teams up with trusted friend and colleague Jack Mason-Goodall for a live group conversation about what it means to be the one who fixes, holds, and carries, and what it costs when no one notices just how much you're managing.
In this episode, you’ll join a thoughtful live audience as they explore why we fall into fixing roles, how these patterns develop from childhood, and most importantly, how to create more sustainable ways of showing up that honor both your capacity to help and your need for support.
If you’re ready to understand the psychology behind your fixing patterns and learn how to shift from "fix or fail" to something more balanced, this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (17:43) The three relationship roles we all inhabit and how they shape our interactions
- (21:58) How trust influences our tendency to step in and fix
- (26:18) Bringing awareness in to thwart our automatic responses
- (34:28) How to navigate resistance while changing your role in relationships
- (49:08) Vulnerability and self-compassion on the path to change
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Get your FREE "When Helping Gets Heavy" companion guide for this episode
Book: Games People Play: The basic handbook of transactional analysis by Eric Berne MD
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Dr. Senem Eren
Connect with Jack Mason-Goodall, BSc., MA, MBACP, MBPsS:
AutismOptimismInternational.com
Focused on relationship‑based play therapy, autism family support, coaching for parents, professionals, and businesses
HowToBeUs.com
Offers individual and group psychotherapy/coaching with a commitment to inclusivity (LGBTQIA+ affirming, anti‑oppressive)
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Use the “Text Karlee” option above to send your Audio Comments and Questions to us.
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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RSVP HERE to Join us for the LIVE Recording of Episode 186: “Why Does This Always Fall on Me?: A Live Conversation About Stepping Out of the Fixer Role Without Burning Bridges."
You’re at a project kickoff meeting and the energy is high. Your manager looks around the room…their gaze lands on you. You’re told you’ll be handling logistics - keeping everyone organized. Meanwhile, everyone else gets assigned the creative, high-visibility tasks that could actually advance their careers.
Or you’re at a neighborhood meeting planning an upcoming block party. You notice the same three people dominating the discussion while others, like the new family who just moved in and the elderly couple from the corner house, sit quietly, occasionally nodding but never quite finding space to contribute their ideas.
Whether it's boardrooms, community meetings, family, or friend groups, unspoken power dynamics shape every interaction. Some voices dominate while others quietly carry the weight. The problem isn't that people are trying to be unfair — it's that we're all operating within invisible systems of rank and privilege that we rarely acknowledge, let alone address.
While these situations can feel delicate, the truth is that there IS a healthy, productive way to navigate them.
It is possible to create more equitable spaces without blowing up the room.
This week, Karlee is back with Jack Mason-Goodall, a UK-based psychologist who works in both clinical therapy and organizational consulting. In this episode, we’re diving deep into the power structures that either fuel collaboration or leave some people feeling silent resentment (while others remain blissfully unaware).
You’ll learn the four distinct types of rank that operate in every group setting and why understanding them is crucial for healthy collaboration. You'll learn why talking about power feels so uncomfortable and how to move past that discomfort to create real change. You'll also walk away with practical strategies for addressing power imbalances without burning bridges or burning yourself out, whether you're the one feeling sidelined or the one with privilege who wants to be a better ally.
If you're ready to stop feeling powerless in groups and start shifting dynamics for everyone's benefit, regardless of where you sit on the privilege spectrum, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
(11:15) The four types of rank that shape group dynamics
(14:34) How privilege comfortably takes up space
(20:10) The real reason talking about rank and privilege feels so uncomfortable
(26:53) How to address situations where your influence feels minimized
(31:38) Practical first steps for addressing unspoken power dynamics
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Free Download:The Power Plays You Didn’t See Coming: A Quick Guide to Spotting Rank and Privilege in Groups (and What to Do About It)
Connect with Jack Mason-Goodall, BSc., MA, MBACP, MBPsS:
AutismOptimismInternational.com
Focused on relationship‑based play therapy, autism family support, coaching for parents, professionals, and businesses
HowToBeUs.com
Offers individual and group psychotherapy/coaching committed to inclusivity (LGBTQIA+ affirming, anti‑oppressive)
Connect With Karlee:
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Another work meeting, or family phone call, same exhausting dynamics.
You know the scene: Someone brought snacks, there's polite chatter about the weather, and then... the same voices dominate while others quietly disengage. The tension builds, nothing really gets resolved, and you walk away thinking, "Why can't we ever just move forward?"
Whether it's your work team, family group text, or friend group trying to plan a weekend getaway, the patterns are eerily similar.
So, why do some groups just click while others feel like pulling teeth?
It’s because every group has two essential elements: task and process. Most groups focus obsessively on the what while completely avoiding the more emotional (and sometimes messier) how.
Groups get stuck when they avoid the messy work of actually being with each other. The way forward isn't around the feelings — it's through them.
This week, Karlee kicks off Part 1 of a special 3-part series: How to Be in Relationship with People That Drive You Nuts. She’s joined by Jack Mason-Goodall, a UK-based psychologist who works in both clinical therapy and organizational consulting. Jack is her go-to collaborator when a client’s team dynamics require more than coaching; when the real issue is what’s happening beneath the surface.
In this episode, you'll discover why some groups flow effortlessly toward their goals while others get trapped in frustrating loops of dysfunction. You'll learn to recognize the invisible emotional undercurrents that either fuel collaboration or sabotage progress. Most importantly, you'll walk away with practical tools to help any group, from your workplace team to your family dinner table, actually accomplish what they set out to do without losing their minds in the process.
If you're ready to stop dreading group interactions and start understanding why they go sideways so you can help redirect them (without becoming the group therapist), then this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (9:09) The difference between task and process
- (15:32) How the "superhero leader" myth keeps groups dysfunctional
- (21:26) Signs your group is leaning too heavily toward task or process
- (27:14) How to stop being the emotional holder
- (31:28) The radical idea that healthy groups can handle conflict and frustration
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Free Download: "Why You're Dreading That Meeting Again, and How to Stop Walking in Circles Together"
RSVP HERE to join us for the LIVE Recording of Episode 3: Why Does This Always Fall on Me? How to Stop Being the Fixer in Every Room on Sunday, July 20th at 11am Eastern
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Wilfred Bion
Maria Sirois
Connect with Jack Mason-Goodall, BSc., MA, MBACP, MBPsS:
AutismOptimismInternational.com
Focused on relationship‑based play therapy, autism family support, coaching for parents, professionals, and businesses
HowToBeUs.com
Offers individual and group psychotherapy/coaching with a commitment to inclusivity (LGBTQIA+ affirming, anti‑oppressive)
Use the “Text Karlee” option above to send your Audio Comments and Que
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You’ve finally gotten what you wanted—the freedom, the team, the space to breathe. So why does it feel so... strange? Somehow, the discomfort of this in-between feels more unsettling than the chaos you left behind.
Or, maybe you’ve made the hard choice to step away from something that wasn’t serving you—or the world has shifted beneath your feet without your consent—only to find yourself floating in an unfamiliar space between what was and what’s next.
Here’s what I know to be true: you’re not lost—you’re simply in the liminal hush. That powerful space between what was and what will be.
But… this in-between isn’t a detour.
It’s an invitation.
This week, in the third and final part of our Navigating Change series, Karlee explores what it means to reside in the in-between—to no longer be who you were but not yet fully inhabit who you’re becoming. This tender, disorienting space is actually where transformation happens.
In this episode, you’ll learn how to make room for the after and create space for what you’re becoming. You’ll hear prompts to help you identify the versions of yourself that can finally rest, and how to stay grounded through community and authentic discernment. You’ll also explore what it means to pause long enough for the wisdom to bubble up, rather than rushing to rebuild what wasn’t really working in the first place.
If you’re ready to tend to your becoming rather than push through it, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- When change happens (even by choice)…and now it's weird? (0:45)
- Experiencing the Liminal Rush (or Hush) (2:14)
- When something new unveils itself (7:17)
- How to make room for the after (12:37)
- The wisdom of the in-between (18:05)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 181: This Was Supposed to Feel Better | What real change stirs up
Episode 182: Replace the 5-Year Plan | Why linear goals fail in nonlinear lives
Living Through the Unveiling by Adrienne Marie Brown
Workshop: Navigating Change: Steering Toward Your True North June 21–23
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Adrienne Marie Brown
Dr. Maria Sirois
Quotes Mentioned in this Episode:
“New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.” -Lao Tzu
Use the “Text Karlee” option above to send your Audio Comments and Questions to us.
Connect With Karlee:
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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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You’ve meticulously crafted the perfect five-year plan, only to watch life crumple it up like yesterday's newspaper. Maybe you've found yourself questioning whether you're off track because nothing is lining up the way it "should."
Here’s the thing…
Clarity doesn't always come first.
Maybe you're not behind schedule—you're just moving to a different rhythm.
Planning has its place, but reality often moves more like a spiral than a straight line.
Sometimes the detour, the thing that feels like a kink in the railroad tracks, is the direction. And sometimes, a rigid timeline can feel more like a prison than a path forward.
Lasting change begins not with forcing ourselves into plans that no longer fit, but with recognizing the season we're actually in.
This week, Karlee shares her own story of a carefully constructed plan that got swept away in life’s wake—and how that interruption created space for what ended up laying the foundation for her work today.
In this episode, you’ll hear how the space between the moment you’re in now and the clarity you’re looking for can harbor the unexpected. You'll learn to identify whether you're in a season of replenishment, emerging ideas, building, or harvesting wisdom, and how to take grounded actions that match. You'll also learn how the concept of "spiral mapping" can help you make the right-sized movement that respects and honors the season you’re in now.
If you’re ready to embrace what’s outside of the linear and see what presents itself in the spiral, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (0:53) When life interrupts your big plan
- (7:26) The problem with planning
- (8:31) Recognizing the season you’re in
- (11:22) The concept of spiral mapping
- (14:23) 3 prompts to get started
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Workshop: Navigating Change: Steering Toward Your True North June 21–23
Book: Working Identity: Unconventional Strategies for Reinventing Your Career by Herminia Ibarra
Episode 181: This Was Supposed to Feel Better | What real change stirs up
Episode 177: Rooted, Not Rattled | Leading with a Unified Power When Others Push for Control
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Dr. Maria Sirois
Use the “Text Karlee” option above to send your Audio Comments and Questions to us.
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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Change doesn't always arrive the way we expect it to.
Have you ever had your world turned upside down, only to realize later it was the doorway to something better? Something bigger? Maybe even something more honest?
Whether change knocks politely or crashes through your door uninvited, it always asks something of you—and it offers something in return.
Change is never just logistical. It’s always personal.
Beneath the disruption lies a tender terrain where grief and opportunity dance together. The unexpected emotions that arise during change aren't signs you're doing it wrong, but evidence you're growing into someone with greater capacity.
Regenerative leadership, in life and in our work, begins not with denying the messy parts, but with giving yourself permission to feel it all.
This week, Karlee kicks off part one of a three-part series on Navigating Change.Sheexplores the multifaceted nature of change, acknowledging and embracing the complex emotions that accompany transitions.
In this episode, you’ll hear personal anecdotes and client stories that illustrate how both chosen and unexpected changes can lead us through grief to growth and help us uncover new opportunities in the process. You’ll learn practical strategies for navigating change with resilience and emotional honesty, inspiring you to reflect on your own experiences and the lessons that came with them.
If you’re ready to feel what’s necessary in this moment so that you can process the lessons and lean into the growth that awaits, then this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (5:00) Unraveling the complexity of change
- (9:10) Why change is always personal
- (10:09) The duality of grief and growth
- (14:55) Finding opportunity in disruption
- (18:48) Practical strategies for embracing change
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Book: Emotional Agility Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life by Susan David
Study: Reinventing Workplace Development, Deloitte
LINK TO NAGIVATING CHANGE LIVE COURSE: https://kripalu.org/presenters-programs/navigating-change-steering-toward-your-true-north
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Dr. Maria Sorois
Use the “Text Karlee” option above to send your Audio Comments and Questions to us.
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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Pssst…here’s something you need to know:
You deserve good things.
You are worthy of love, abundance, and joy.
Now, how does it feel to take that in?
What sensations do you feel?
Whether it’s a resounding, “Heck yes, I do!” or if your stomach is rumbling with self-doubt, notice this: your body is always giving you answers.
But culturally, historically, and capitalistically, we’ve outsourced the most critical aspects of our relationship to self to…everyone but ourselves.
The truth?
Measuring self-worth is an inside job.
This week, Karlee rekindles memories with long-time friend, Jennifer Madriz, founder of Seventh House Designs. Having worked together in the fast and furious world of celebrity touring, finding sanity and stability amongst one another helped keep them tethered to reality.
In this episode, we keep the focus on joy, understanding how it functions as a leadership tool for self and how it manifests in our professional endeavours. You’ll hear powerful examples of challenging dysfunctional norms in relationships and unhealthy work environments, and the steadiness of allyship when things feel anything but normal. You’ll also learn how to reconnect with your body, the meaning of specific physical sensations, and what it feels like to move through the day-to-day when your body’s needs are being met.
If you’re ready to be the boss of your self-worth and tap into more joy, then this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (8:04) Reclaiming your right to feel and be seen
- (18:32) Your self-worth birthright
- (29:34) How to tap into your greatest internal resource
- (42:58) Challenging dysfunctional norms
- (47:04) Investigating your connection to self
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 178: What IS Joy, and Why Should I Care About It at Work?
Guided Meditation
A Course in Miracles by Helen Schucman
Use the “Text Karlee” option above to send your Audio Comments and Questions to us.
Connect with Jennifer Madriz:
Seventh House Designs
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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If you’re languishing and you know it, clap your hands. (Or roll your eyes.)
Why acknowledge something as unglamorous as languishing? Because recognizing how you’re really feeling is the first step to getting unstuck. It's the moment the door cracks open.
If we want something to shift, we have to be willing to see it first.
And clapping? Laughing when you’re frustrated? Groaning mid-eye-roll? These are small but mighty ways we invite a little movement into stuck places — tiny rebellions that make space for joy to sneak back in.
Joy and sorrow aren’t opposites — they’re dance partners. Feeling the heavy stuff is what stretches our capacity to feel the good stuff too.
So if things feel foggy or heavy lately, you’re not broken. You’re actually right on schedule. The way through it... leads you back to your joy.
This week, Karlee brings back an episode that dives into how joy and sorrow are woven together, and why pretending we’re "fine" never really gets us anywhere. You'll hear how acknowledging the hard emotions protects your energy and opens you up to the kind of joy that lasts.
In this conversation, you’ll learn why numbing out never works, how joy and sorrow are two sides of the same coin, and practical ways to spark more everyday delight—especiall in tough times.
If you’re ready to acknowledge your sorrows so that you can clear a path for the joy behind them, then this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (8:53) Joy isn’t one-size-fits-all — here’s the breakdown.
- (9:54) Joy + sorrow = deeper capacity.
- (12:09) Why acknowledgment changes everything.
- (18:14) Tiny ways to spark big joy.
- (21:03) The science says: joy is legit.
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Article: Grant, Adam. “There's a Name for the Blah You're Feeling: It's Called Languishing.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 19 Apr. 2021, www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/well/mind/covid-mental-health-languishing.html.
LISTEN NOW: The Boundary Brunch
Book: The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran
Website: King, Pamela Ebstyne. “Pamela Ebstyne King.” The Thrive Center for Human Development, 8 May 2021, thethrivecenter.org/about/pam-ebstyne-king/.
TED Talk: Where Joy Hides and Where to Find it with Ingrid Fetell Lee
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Dana Lemay
Adam Grant
Kahlil Gibran
Dr. Pamela King
Ingrid Fetell Lee
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When’s the last time you felt a real spark of joy?
Not just “this is nice” happy, but full-body, eyes-light-up, heart-exhale joy.
Maybe it was curling up with your dog and a good book.
Swinging with your kiddo at the playground.
Or three whole minutes of peace with your coffee and the sunrise.
That’s joy.
And we don’t just want more of it—we need it.
Joy isn’t fluff. It’s not a reward for getting everything right or being endlessly productive.
It’s something we cultivate—with small, everyday choices.
Because joy gives us the zest and energy we need to tend to the hard stuff, too.
It makes us more resilient, not less real.
And yes—joy precedes success.
(It’s science, not just a sweet idea.)
In this episode, we’re talking about what joy really is (hint: it’s not the same as happiness), why it matters so much for your health, work, and relationships, and how to actually practice it—even in the middle of your full, messy, meaningful life.
You’ll learn how to recognize it, how to invite more of it in, and why joy might just be your most underestimated strategy for doing brave, beautiful things in the world.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Joy versus happiness (12:42)
- Why joy is important for our health (18:30)
- Joy in the workplace (20:22)
- Four ways to bring more joy into your life and work (31:31)
- Leaning into soft strength (36:02)
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Dana Lemay
Sophie Cliff
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Notifly
LISTEN NOW: The Boundary Brunch
Book: The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World byDouglas Carlton Abrams, Desmond Tutu, Dalai Lama
Study: Martín-María, Natalia et al. “The Impact of Subjective Well-being on Mortality: A Meta-Analysis of Longitudinal Studies in the General Population.” Psychosomatic medicine vol. 79,5 (2017): 565-575. doi:10.1097/PSY.0000000000000444
Study: “Positive Intelligence.” Harvard Business Review, 8 Oct. 2014, hbr.org/2012/01/positive-intelligence.
Study: “Read @Kearney: Joy at Work.” Kearney, www.kearney.com/leadership-change-organization/article/?%2Fa%2Fjoy-at-work.
Podcast: Joy@Work podcast
Video: Virtual Tour of Kickstarter Offices
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Ever noticed how some people seem to move through chaos with a steady grace, while others create more chaos and disconnection in their wake?
It has to do with the power they access. But when we shift from seeing power as a control to understanding it as a path to more steadiness and deeper connection, we open ourselves up to a more sustainable way of being in the world.
Those moments when you feel truly seen, supported, and capable... they come from a different kind of power dynamic. One that lifts everyone up rather than keeping others down.
The way we hold power determines whether we feel exhaustion or a sense of steady calm.
This week, Karlee explores the four types of power to help you pinpoint whether power is being used to fragment or unite. Because when you're not operating from a place of scarcity and fear, you get to create spaces where everyone can thrive. And that changes everything.
In this episode, you’ll learn to recognize the different ways power shows up in your life and work. You'll hear how power over dynamics often lead to exhaustion, while power to, power with, and power within create steadiness and connection. You'll also hear about what Karlee calls "the Godzilla effect"—when someone's words and actions don't match, and what to do about it.
If you’re ready to find more steadiness and clarity in how you move through chaos, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (1:41) Understanding what power isn’t—and why it’s not about control
- (7:14) How power plays into the way we lead and connect with others
- (8:54) An intro to the four types of power and how to use them wisely
- (16:01) Cultivating power within as your anchor
- (20:45) Why community care is especially important right now
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 58: Being Lied To? The 4 Types of Power and What to Do When What Someone Says, And What They Do, Are Different
Research Paper: Brene Brown on Power and Leadership
Use the “Text Karlee” option above to send your Audio Comments and Questions to us.
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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Ever felt like you’re making a change, but instead of feeling accomplished, you just feel… awkward?
Well, then welcome. You’ve landed in your very own "terrible fork phase".
It’s a funny way to define those moments when progress is slow and our initial efforts feel clumsy or underwhelming. But… however imperfect our actions, they represent important progress toward meaningful change.
These flimsy forked phases are actually very necessary for growth.
Because even small moves count as progress. And consistent progress IS change.
This week, Karlee explores the concept of the "terrible fork phase" - a metaphorical stage of growth (based on a real fork) where progress feels awkward, imperfect, and potentially ineffective, but is nonetheless a step forward when you’re uncertain about what to do next.
In this episode, we’re calling out those clunky, frustrating, not-quite-right-yet moments of growth and reframing them for what they really are—proof that you’re making progress. You’ll hear real-life stories of leaders and boundary-setters navigating their own terrible fork moments (think: tiny, useless branded blankets and a first-time “no” that came with a side of panic). Plus, we’ll talk about why small, imperfect steps always beat waiting for perfection, and how self-compassion can help you stick with it even when it feels like a disaster.
Because the truth? If it feels a little messy, you’re probably doing it right.
If you’re ready to lean into the next step, even if it’s not the perfect one, and create momentum on the path to change, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- The concept of the “Terrible Fork Phase” (0:37)
- Relatable examples of fork phases (5:26)
- A delegation disaster turned learning moment (9:43)
- How whispers of courage can become winds of change (13:01)
- A prompt to inspire a little movement (14:55)
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Mary Anne Radmacher
Darnell Lamont Walker
Brendon Burchard
Use the “Text Karlee” option above to send your Audio Comments and Questions to us.
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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Is it just me, or do you also feel like the world is especially loud right now?
Between news cycles screaming for attention and social media's constant noise, it's no wonder so many of us feel overwhelmed. Or even completely checked out.
But here’s the thing…
Our attention is valuable. And where we choose to focus it shapes our experience and influences the world around us.
So, if you’re experiencing feelings of panic or a sense of urgency that won’t seem to lift, then it’s time to reclaim your agency. Identifying what you actually want to champion is how you can become bigger than the moment you find yourself in, and create more purposeful value-aligned actions.
This week, Karlee shares the skill of seeing the bigger picture when things feel chaotic to take a beat and reclaim your agency. When you dare to pause and recognize what truly requires your attention, you can respond intentionally rather than react impulsively.
In this episode, you’ll learn how the fear we absorb from the world we live in affects our nervous system. You’ll hear a powerful alternative to panic that will help you reclaim your attention and find steadiness, rather than overreact to the noise. You’ll hear real-life examples of clients who reframed difficult situations, and learn how to focus on your integrity and take more intentional actions.
If you’re ready to redirect feelings of panic into purposeful action, then this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (2:47) Why we need an alternative to panic
- (7:05 ) A three-step approach to see the bigger picture again
- (8:38) How urgency hijacks our nervous system
- (16:53) The powerful act of reclaiming your agency
- (18:29) A question that will refocus you on what truly matters
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
The Boundary Academy: FREE Mini-Course Proven Boundary Scripts
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Maya Angelou
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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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When we reflect back on our successes, it’s normal for our sense of pride to swell up a little.
It took hard work to get where you’ve gotten.
But there’s another element of every success story that doesn’t always get enough of our attention.
All of those good things that seem to happen without any effort on your part… the things that take place behind the scenes, you didn’t do them. But somebody did.
You see, the narrative we’re told about being “self-made”, well it just isn’t accurate. Because somewhere, someone did something to help facilitate the chain of “good things” that got us here.
This is how we open ourselves up to a better story—one of connection, gratitude, and the quiet support that makes the journey possible.
This week, Karlee emphasizes the importance of recognizing and normalizing the unearned gifts and support we receive from allies, mentors, strangers, and guides, seen and unseen. Because if you’re not telling the story of being self-made, you get to tell a story of appreciation. And that changes everything.
In this episode, you’ll learn to recognize the gifts, both big and small, that are available to you now and along your way. You’ll hear personal anecdotes and a handful of client stories that demonstrate how unexpected opportunities and moments of unearned goodness impact success stories. You’ll also get a simple prompt to help you reflect on when, where, and how the gifts you’ve benefited from have shown up in your life.
If you’re ready to start weaving more appreciation into your success story, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (4:14) Gifts that deserve more recognition
- (7:08) The egocentricity of “self-made”
- (9:36) Considering your allies
- (11:32) Why success is a collective effort
- (13:57) A prompt for recognizing where good is showing up
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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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What is your purpose in life?
Gosh, that feels like a loaded question. One that we could spend a lifetime (or three) trying to answer.
But what if finding “a” purpose didn’t have to feel so final? What if it was more flexible, and what if we could change it up year after year?
This week, Karlee embarks on a journey of what it means to find “purpose”, and debunks the concept that it needs to find you. Instead, purpose can be chosen, and, guess what… it can be malleable throughout your life.
In this episode, we’ll explore the concept of finding purpose, starting with the idea that you can embrace multiple truths simultaneously. You’ll learn why finding meaning doesn't require a lifelong quest. You’ll come away with a powerful exercise to help you identify what’s most important to you this year.
If you’re ready to let your values become your compass for decision-making and move toward clarity and alignment, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (0:52) Navigating these vivid times
- (1:59) Accepting our multifaceted nature
- (8:04) Purpose versus push
- (11:02) A practical prompt to define your compass
- (15:21) Where to begin, an exercise
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Audre Lorde
Brené Brown
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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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Does the new year ever really feel so “new” and fresh for long?
For many of us, the end of the calendar year means time spent with family, and hopefully a few days away from work. But the irony is that they can still feel physically and emotionally taxing.
You see, we were born into burnout culture.
And that “two weeks PTO” carrot at the end of the stick ain’t cutting it. Vacations and holidays are wonderful, but they rarely leave us feeling rested.
The holidays, and the winter months especially, are a fine time to step back and evaluate, perhaps even redefine, our relationship with rest and work.
It’s time for a cultural shift away from the drudgery of burnout culture. It’s time to embrace a culture of rest.
This week, Karlee revisits a restful exchange with Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, a Board-Certified internal medicine physician, speaker, and award-winning author. She is an international well-being thought leader and author of numerous books, including her bestseller Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity. Her insight on the seven types of rest helps people understand their specific rest deficits as a means to overcome burnout, increase overall happiness, and live more meaningful lives.
In this episode, you’ll identify what burnout looks and feels like, and you’ll start to recognize the effect sustained burnout can have on your quality of life and your relationships. You’ll recognize how living and growing up in a burnout culture has taught us to treat vacations as cures, and why those breaks never really relieve our emotional burdens. You’ll also learn about the seven types of specific rest you need, which of them you need more of, and practical ways you can start to nourish your rest deficits.
If you’re ready to rip the bandaid off of burnout culture and take the time to deepen your understanding of what rest is and start to get more of it, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (3:07 ) Exploring the Seven Types of Rest
- (11:57) Why you don’t feel rested after vacations and holidays
- (18:00) Practical ways to approach rest
- (28:26) Reclaiming your best work and relationships
- (37:48) The normalization of burnout
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE COPY of the ROADMAP TO REST FOR HIGH ACHIEVERS
Episode 138: From Burnout Culture to Rest Culture with Saundra Dalton-Smith
Video: TED: The 7 types of rest every person needs Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith
Book: Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity by Saundra Dalton-Smith
FREE Quiz: Personal Rest Assessment
Connect with Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith:
Website: DrDaltonSmith.com
Twitter: @DrDaltonSmith
Facebook: Dr. Saundra Dalton – Smith
Instagram: @DrDaltonSmith
Pinterest: @DrDaltonSmith
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We know that rest is essential.
But… for high achievers, it’s easy to see go-mode as just the natural flow of things.
When we dare to pause (and dare others to do the same), we instantly recognize that we too are susceptible to the cultural norms that push us to prioritize work over rest.
And as many of us gear up for another extra busy holiday season, it’s important to remind ourselves and one another:
Rest is not the opposite of productivity; it’s the gateway to productivity.
We must give ourselves permission to rest.
Because allowing space for those pockets of joy in small moments can be transformative.
This week, Karlee revisits a timely conversation with Faith Clarke, an Organizational Health & Inclusion Specialist. Through her work, she provides important cultural and historical context to how we navigate the “rules” of society, shedding a necessary light on how this conditioning affects us.
In this episode, we unpack the reasons why you might be working so hard and resting so little. You’ll shift your culturally ingrained perspective on time and commitments and begin to open your days, weeks, months, and years to more opportunities for rest. By constructing your own imaginary world, you can break societal rules around productivity, regain your power, and creatively find more time for respite.
If you’re ready to open up more pockets of joy in your life, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (6:11) Cultural constructs and the burden of work
- (09:05) Finding your Pockets of Power
- (11:50) How to create an alternate reality for rest
- (15:11) The interplay between self and community
- (18:01) Navigating the Zero-Sum Game
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE COPY of the ROADMAP TO REST FOR HIGH ACHIEVERS
Episode 135: Pockets of Power | How to be a able to say “yes” to joy in your way-too-busy life with Faith Clarke
Article: Gilson, D. (2011) Overworked America: 12 charts that Will make your blood boil, Mother Jones. Available at: https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2011/05/speedup-americans-working-harder-charts/
Website: Tricia Hersey http://www.triciahersey.com/
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People Mentioned in this Episode:
Dr. Jovana Washington
Connect with Faith Clarke:
Website
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Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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In phases of transition, here we understand that we are NOT lost.
Oh, no no.
We’re just floating quietly and calmly in the Fertile Void.
We know that navigating change often comes with a bit of discomfort. Putting words to those feelings can help us cultivate the right language for what we’re experiencing.
And through those words, we can tap into the courage and clarity that’s required to navigate changing currents or completely new bodies of water.
(And unexpected plumbing disasters.)
When things feel uncertain, we know that we can always find certainty in 3 simple words…
“You got this.”
This week, Karlee revisits an episode with Gayle Danley, former National Individual Poetry Slam Champion. She holds a B.A. in broadcast journalism from Howard University and an M.A. in radio, TV, and film from Syracuse University. Gayle performs slam poetry around the country, and is the author of two books of poetry: Naked: Poems that Uncover My Soul and Soulfull: A Study of Slam Poetry.
In this episode, Gail shares her journey to self-affirmation through the power of words. You’ll hear how slam poetry has provided her with a sense of identity, purpose, and stability in times of change. You’ll learn how to “get good” with where you are in the moment, and how to cultivate a supportive inner voice.
If you’re ready to tap into the power of your words and paddle bravely through seas of change, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (2:07) Ways to simplify when life feels complex
- (11:23) Getting “good” with wherever you are now
- (19:39) Finding voice through poetry
- (28:50) Gayle’s 4-step writing process
- (34:22) Being patient when we’ve lost our sense of direction
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Claim your spot in The Boundary Academy
Episode 128: “You Got This” | Engaging The Power of Your Words During Change with Gayle Danley
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Dr. Maria Sirois
Kate Northrup
Suzi Banks Baum
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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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Does the level of uncertainty these days feel like it’s at a perpetual crescendo?
You sure aren’t alone…
If you’re also a voyager on these choppy seas, then like many of us, the pace of unpredictability has you thinking about what, and who, is really important.
And how you can protect it.
This week, Karlee opens up a candid conversation about authenticity, offering a more mature definition of what it means to be authentic in relationships- especially in times of uncertainty.
In this episode, you’ll learn how to approach authenticity in a way that’s reciprocal, serving the needs of others while allowing you to hold true to your values. You’ll learn why authenticity is a two-way street that requires consideration of how we interact with others. And, you’ll hear a powerful prompt that will empower you to hold true to your values in a way that doesn’t cause harm to others.
If you’re ready to anchor into stability through these uncertain times and build stronger, more authentic connections, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (7:02) A peek behind the scenes of Karlee’s latest workshop
- (8:08) The desire for reciprocity in relationships
- (11:13) Why real authenticity requires understanding nuance
- (14:00) Identifying what needs protecting
- (17:13) Developing a neuro pattern of sturdiness
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Dr. Maria Sirois
Brené Brown
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Connect With Karlee:
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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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Trying to control the choices of others takes up a LOT of space, depleting us of precious energy that could be better spent elsewhere. But you don’t want things to fall apart without you either.
Whether it's a lifestyle choice you don’t agree with, a work ethic that doesn’t seem sustainable from your perspective, or a loved one who isn’t doing what you think they should be doing in a crisis, trying to apply your agenda to someone else’s life is a losing game - for everyone involved.
The trick is learning when to release your grip on others and focusing instead on what you can control….yourself.
This week, Karlee shares practical advice to help you decipher when it makes sense to lean in, and when the best thing to do is to lean back and surrender your agenda.
In this episode, we dive into the liberating shift from trying to influence others to refining our own inner responses. Explore how to recalibrate your boundaries, reclaim your energy, and refocus on what truly matters to you. We’ll share insightful, real-world examples and a straightforward, actionable prompt to help you tap into authentic self-control—leading to a deeper sense of agency and freedom. This episode offers a fresh, strategic perspective for savvy leaders ready to invest energy where it yields the greatest return: within.
If you’re ready to surrender your agenda and reclaim your energy, then this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (7:18) Trying to change people who don’t want to change
- (9:28) Why micromanagement fails
- (12:56) Daring to pause when control efforts don’t work
- (18:21) How to replace frustration with acceptance
- (20:47) Surrendering your agenda to free up space
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 161: The Sinkhole Effect | What to do when good people have you feeling bad
Citations:
- Beer, M., Finnstrom, M., & Schrader, D. (2015). "Why Leadership Training Fails—and What to Do About It." Harvard Business Review. Retrieved from hbr.org.
- Llopis, G. (2019). "Why Leading by Example Matters." Forbes. Retrieved from forbes.com.
- Sutton, B. (2017). "The Science of Saying No: How Boundaries Improve Performance." Inc. Magazine. Retrieved from inc.com.
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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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You’re pulled in a million directions, huh? Gosh, it’s easy to lose a sense of who we are when this happens - but some people have a solution…
Today’s most successful leaders do one very important thing…they know how to “unforget”.
In this episode Karlee dives into the ancient Greek concept of unforgetting, a powerful idea introduced by Socrates himself.
You know those moments when something just clicks, and you feel inspired or clear?
That’s the magic of unforgetting—and it’s not about gaining more; it’s about remembering what’s already there, and there’s a system for helping this happen.
This week, Karlee shares why the unforgetting of who we are is so important and how to de-clutter the external so you can unforget the internal.
You’ll hear how successful leaders are realigning with their inner knowing by taking the time to be “un-influencers”. You’ll also hear actionable prompts to help you make decisions based on what you know to be true for yourself and for those you lead.
If you’re ready to clear the mental clutter and spark clarity by tapping into your inner knowing, this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (5:48) What today’s most powerful leaders do differently
- (7:41) Real-life example of one pro leading from her inner compass
- (8:20) Why culmination and reflection is essential for progress
- (11:27) Practical ways to reconnect with your inner wisdom
- (13:38) Prompts to help you unforget this week and lead with purpose this week
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
On Culmination:
Episode 145: Going Deeper, Not Faster | A Culmination Episode to Bolster Your Wits, Wisdom, and “Enoughness”
Episode 90: Room for Rest: How to Reclaim Your Productive Downtime like a Pro
Episode 73: The Purposeful Pause - How Women Get Colossal Results By Contracting Before We Expand
Kripalu Workshop: Better Boundaries: A Gateway to Authentic Living Nov 15-17th
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Dr. Maria Sirois
Larry Jackson – Associate Dean of Academic Affairs and Philosophy Lecturer at Columbia University
Robyn Hannigan - President of Ursinus College, Geologist
Quotes Mentioned in this Episode:
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Authenticity is the collection of choices that we have to make every day. It's about the choice to show up and be real, the choice to be honest, the choice to let our true selves be seen.” -Brené Brown
“Put your feet on the earth, feel the ground beneath you.” -Robyn Hannigan
“Becoming a leader is synonymous with becoming yourself. It is precisely that simple and it is also that difficult.” -Warren Bennis
Connect With Karlee:
Website
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As the end of the year gets closer, do you feel the pressure heating up?
Is there a little voice nagging at you to hurry up and meet those goals you set back in January, telling you it’s time to push harder?
Before you decide to go full throttle, there’s something you should know…
It’s all a trap.
This week, Karlee explains why the end-of-the-year hustle is a never-ending cycle that doesn’t lead to sustainable success. Pushing to do it all before the calendar changes goes against the cues of the natural world, which shows us that this is a time to rest and regenerate.
In this episode, you’ll learn the importance of setting goals through purpose rather than push. You’ll hear how sustained success depends on our ability to tap into a more regenerative way of approaching this season, highlighting the natural rhythms of life instead of an imaginary finish line. You’ll hear a simple, actionable tip for recalibrating your pace so you can carve out moments of rest - and reclaim some of your better thinking.
If you’re ready to make the extraordinary decision to discern your own pace, then this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (9:29) The importance of a purposeful pace
- (11:57) Taking stock of an eventful year
- (13:42) Looking to nature for guidance
- (18:06) Making extraordinary decisions
- (22:14) What sustained success looks like
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 138: From Burnout Culture to Rest Culture with Saundra Dalton-Smith
Kripalu Workshop: Better Boundaries: A Gateway to Authentic Living Nov 15-17th
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Dr. Maria Sirois
Quotes Referenced in this Episode:
“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” — Maya Angelou
Use the “Text Karlee” option above to send your Audio Comments and Questions to us.
Connect With Karlee:
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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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*What do you do when you don’t know what to do…next?
Especially when you're the "together one in your circle, " people count on you...*
Uncertainty, for many of us, feels uncomfortable.
But the in-between is far from a liminal space where we wait or try to force action. It’s an important phase that offers us something very rich indeed… the gift of simplicity.
This week, Karlee unveils the wisdom of learning to live into the questions that simplify our thoughts and clarify our next steps.
In this episode, you’ll hear how people experiencing the challenges of feeling checked out or in a fog reclaim purpose and lean into the richness of uncertainty. By asking themselves good questions, they could take that 3% step forward in their relationships, health, and career. You’ll learn the importance of honing your focus on the doable stuff so you can begin to embrace the fog as an opportunity for growth in all areas of your life.
If you’re ready to make things more doable and thrive in the face of big questions, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (2:51) Feeling the need to show up even when you're unclear
- (4:27) Navigating the question: What happens next?
- (8:06) Moving things 3% forward
- (11:06) What to do when you’re in the fog
- (13:09) The power of leaning into simplicity
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Book: Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke
Book: Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Warren Buffet
Steve Jobs
Brené Brown
Use the “Text Karlee” option above to send your Audio Comments and Questions to us.
Connect With Karlee:
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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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How do you see yourself in this moment?
Are you a person who’s working hard to become successful? Are you taking painting classes on weekends to become an artist? Are you a person with a lukewarm temper who wants to become someone who approaches life with a little more grace and forgiveness?
What have you been wanting to be that you could just decide, right now, that you are?
This week, Karlee shares stories of transformation that didn’t take years or decades to achieve. Simply by making the decision in the moment to see things differently, change happens.
In this episode, you’ll learn how instantaneous shifts in perspective can change how we see ourselves and how we view the world around us. You’ll hear the inspiring stories of people who dared to pause and, just by taking that moment to reconsider, were able to recalibrate how they view themselves and others. You’ll also learn how to be that version of yourself you’ve been waiting to become, right now.
If you’re ready to make the brave choice to “be”, instead of waiting to “become”, then this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (5:40) An invitation to take a “goodly pause” to gain clarity
- (9:01) What restores a genuine sense of hope
- (11:33) A simple shift in perspective to see things in a more positive light
- (17:49) How imagining bravery becomes actual bravery
- (22:20) Becoming the person you want to be, starting now
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert
“Hope” poem by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer
How to Love the World: Poems of Gratitude and Hope by James Crews
Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries: The Gateway to Authentic Living with Karlee Fain and Maria Sirois
Dirt Gems by Anne Louise Burdett
Episode 35: Trust Your Knowing
Episode 123: When Tradition Lays a Trap
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Suzi Banks Baum
Polly Hatfield
Maria Sirois
Anne Louise Burdett
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Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks
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Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
🌟 Click For a FREE Copy of Karlee's Regenerative Living + Working Guide
Life is like a… Venn diagram.
Yes, in our best times it’s also like a delicious box of dark chocolates. But in today’s episode, we’re pointing to something more specific: the career, health, and relationship trifecta.
It’s what we call the “Big 3”.
We all strive for a thriving career, vibrant health, and life-giving relationships. The thing we don’t realize is that there’s a point at which they all intersect.
If your work-life mojo is in sync, then these 3 areas of life can actually help support each other.
This week, Karlee helps you map out the current state of your Big 3 so you can recognize how, and where, to find support when one area needs attention.
In this episode, you’ll learn how to create kinship between life, work, and your relationships. You’ll gain access to a simple exercise that will help you Venn diagram your Big 3, so you can find the support you need by leveraging what's already good. You’ll also learn how to make these areas work regeneratively so they become allies to one another.
If you’re ready to evaluate your mojo AND appreciate what’s already working, then this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (2:34) Standing in kinship to the ‘Big 3’ aspects of our lives
- (5:26) Ditch balance and opt for work-life mojo
- (8:27) Support wisdom from a Poet Laureate
- (15:09) How to know if your Big 3 are regenerative
- (18:07) Recognizing what’s already good
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
🌟 Click For a FREE Copy of Karlee's Regenerative Living + Working Guide
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Kimberly Blaeser: Learn more and support her work here: https://www.kblaeser.org/
About Standing (in Kinship) poem by Kimberley Blaeser: https://www.poetryoutloud.org/poem/about-standing-in-kinship/
Kamala Harris Venn diagram and human rights: https://www.yahoo.com/news/m-going-confess-love-venn-144616746.html
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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
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In the span of your day, how often do you get sidetracked by the unexpected?
You’re super focused on a work project, and then wham!! An attention-grabbing subject line lands in your inbox and, well, it’ll just take a minute. Or you’re watching your kid’s basketball game and your pocket vibrates. Curiosity gets the better of you and before you know it, you’re swept into a work issue that pulls your attention away from the court.
Those “little” things that interrupt our days and our thought processes can often completely take over our plans.
Having a solid and supported system in place to face those distractions head-on is the only way to regain autonomy over your time.
This week, Karlee helps you discover a way to hone your focus and dial in your discernment so you can decipher when it's necessary to change plans or simply say “no, thank you”.
In this episode, you’ll learn how to reframe the distractions you come up against in your work and personal life so that you can prioritize what matters most. You’ll learn how to keep control of the wheel and not be led off course, especially when the unexpected doesn’t support you in the direction you want to go. And you’ll learn how to build a plan that binds you to your best choices.
If you’re ready to stop feeling pulled and start making choices that support who you want to be and where you want to go, this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (09:45) What it’s like when best-laid plans get interrupted
- (12:23) The invitation you’re being given when you feel pulled to do something
- (14:25) How to discern the distractions you come up against
- (17:40) A 3-part process for choosing what’s most important
- (22:23) The one element that will help you follow through on your values
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 161: The Sinkhole Effect | What to do when good people have you feeling bad
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Kurt Vonnegut: https://www.vonnegutlibrary.org/
Maria Sirois: https://www.mariasirois.com/
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Connect With Karlee:
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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
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Is there someone in your life who, as much as you care about them, often leaves you feeling not so good?
Whether it’s a friend, a family member, a coworker, or anyone for that matter, the energy exchange you get from your encounters leaves you feeling drained.
It’s like every time you meet, you descend a little bit deeper into an emotional sinkhole. And you have to spend the time between pulling yourself out of it before the inevitable next encounter.
The tricky part is that you know they aren’t bad people. They’re just in their own world right now, focused on their own things, unable to see how their actions affect you or your organization.
These situations can feel exhausting and be challenging to navigate. But they aren’t impossible.
This week, Karlee explains how the “sinkhole effect” works and how it affects our relationships with others. Toughing it out through these sticky situations isn’t good for anyone, and it’s a drain on your precious energy reserves.
In this episode, you’ll learn what it feels like to be in a sinkhole situation through real-life examples of people who have successfully navigated their way through one - without making things worse in the process. You’ll learn a simple exercise that will help you understand the emotional cost-benefit of keeping things the way they are versus instigating change, and where to start if change needs to happen.
If you’re ready to give yourself some grace and stop doing the energetic heavy lifting, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- The hitchhiker and the sinkhole (0:50)
- Compassion for others versus compassion for self (11:13)
- Managing energy rather than managing time (12:26)
- An exercise in emotional cost-benefit analysis (14:02)
- Where to start now if something needs to change (20:16)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Book: The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time, Is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal by Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz
Book: The Joy of Leadership: How Positive Psychology Can Maximize Your Impact (and Make You Happier) in a Challenging World by Angus Ridgway and Tal Ben-Shahar
Use the “Text Karlee” option above to send your Audio Comments and Questions to us.
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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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Shame is a trickster.
It can sneak up on us at the worst moments, kick us when we’re down, and make us feel inferior to others.
But here in the Messy & Magnificent community, we’ve got a trick up our sleeves that can rival that ol’ dog we call shame…
It’s recognizing what you’ve already done well already.
Recognizing your strengths can snuff out the self-judgment so you can let yourself off the hook and start to focus on getting resourced for what’s next.
This week, Karlee reveals that shameful trickster behind the curtain, showing you how to extinguish the insecurities you feel now and instead, acknowledge the strength and determination that got you where you are today.
In this episode, you’ll discover why shame creeps up on all of us, and you’ll hear the familiar untruths it leaves in its wake. You’ll hear real-life examples of high-achievers who are battling the shame game and learn how to build up your gratitude as a feel-good defense mechanism to instantly shift your mindset.
First, gratitude for how well you’ve done with what you’ve had. Then, it’s the right time to seek the knowledge and resources you need to move forward.
If you’re ready to release the weight of shame, guilt, and self-judgement, and feel genuine gratitude for the “you” that got you here, and THEN focus on what’s next, then this episode is for you!
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Understanding how shame messes with our game (4:38)
- Examples of self-judgment real people are experiencing (9:39)
- Why you’re off the hook if you’re feeling ‘not good enough’ (12:25)
- 3 questions to help you seek the resources you need now (15:35)
- A powerful quote about boundaries that softens self-judgement (19:04)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Join us next year for the Navigating Change Workshop (note: the 2025 dates for this program will update soon - email info@everybodythrive.com if you want us to let you now when enrollment officially opens)
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Maria Sirois
Prentice Hemphill
Use the “Text Karlee” option above to send your Audio Comments and Questions to us.
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
🌟 Click to Send Karlee a Text - We Want To Hear Your Thoughts About This Episode 🌟
Ever fall down the slide of rumination? Or get caught in a downward mental spiral that kicks you will you’re down?
Whether it’s a career setback, an emotional hurdle, or a broken bone that seems like it’s taking forever to heal, you just can’t seem to get out from under that cloud of negativity.
You know it's time for a shift, but “unicorn and fairy dust” levels of positivity don’t feel true.
Have you thought about going neutral?
This week, Karlee reminds us of a middle ground- a place between the emotional poles that can hold us when we’re in the in-between space. A place where we can allow ourselves to wander, and perhaps even our minds a new path to walk towards a genuinely more hopeful next moment.
In this episode, you’ll learn that when things feel challenging or when we’re not at our best, there’s more than just positive and negative to choose from. You’ll come away with two simple and pragmatic first steps that will help you shift your less helpful thoughts into something better, but not something that feels unrealistic or dishonest.
If you’re ready to embrace neutral when nothing else seems to fit and create space for a little more wonder in your life, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- A proven way to get unstuck when negativity persists (7:26)
- What it means to have allies around you (11:10)
- When patience in problem-solving is important (16:13)
- What happens when we experience wonder (19:30)
- Action prompts to shift your perspective (24:06)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Bai, Y., Ocampo, J., Jin, G., Chen, S., Benet-Martinez, V., Monroy, M., Anderson, C., & Keltner, D. (2021). Awe, daily stress, and elevated life satisfaction. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 120(4), 837–860. https://doi.org/10.1037/pspa0000267
Positive Emotions Broaden and Build, Barbara Fredrickson, University of North Carolina
The neural correlates of the awe experience: Reduced default mode network activity during feelings of awe. Michiel van Elk 1 2 , M Andrea Arciniegas Gomez 1 , Wietske van der Zwaag 2 3 , Hein T van Schie, Disa Sauter
https://philosophybreak.com/articles/iris-murdoch-unselfing-is-crucial-for-living-a-good-life/ Iris Murdoch (1919 - 1999) was an Irish-British philosopher
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Ethan Kross: https://www.ethankross.com/
Iris Murdoch: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iris_Murdoch
Use the “Text Karlee” option above to send your Audio Comments and Questions to us.
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
🌟 Click to Send Karlee a Text - We Want To Hear Your Thoughts About This Episode 🌟
Nature works in phases, rhythms, and cyclical patterns. This is essential for achieving balance and harmony.
So when things are feeling particularly heavy or difficult, for you, for someone close to you, or someone in your organization, then it makes sense for us to take a cue from nature, too.
When we allow ourselves and each other the space to wax and wane as life naturally dictates, it opens up valuable opportunities to co-collaborate.
This week, Karlee shares how you can beautifully navigate situations that require balancing the specific needs of yourself or your organization with the needs of those who might need a little extra space in that moment.
In this episode, you’ll learn why the bigger picture needs don’t have to heel to the needs of the individual while you dig deeper to create more understanding. You’ll be invited to hone in on the specific needs of the organization and focus on what’s truly important when light wanes from one direction. You’ll also begin to flip the default script and recognize that, often, the two sets of needs aren’t in competition, after all.
If you’re ready to masterfully navigate the cyclical patterns of life and work, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Choosing compassion and performance in tough personal moments (6:21)
- Prioritizing what really matters when things feel overwhelming (9:15)
- The important first step in co-collaboration (12:29)
- Determining what is needed in order to do well (14:34)
- Recognizing that the needs of the person and the organization aren’t in conflict (17:43)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Article: Leaders Don’t Have to Choose Between Compassion and Performance by Mark Mortensen and Heidi Gardner. Harvard Business Review
Use the “Text Karlee” option above to send your Audio Comments and Questions to us.
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
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When was the last time you sang at the top of your lungs from the driver's seat of your car or from the privacy of your shower?
When was the last time you felt truly heard by your closest confidants? Or had a deep and meaningful conversation that left you feeling grateful to have such a sympathetic, understanding ear?
Whatever those life-giving things are for you, one thing is probably certain…we all do better when they happen consistently.
This week, Karlee shares a realization about that feeling we get when we’re truly at peace, in total comfort of our surroundings and who we’re surrounded by.
In this episode, you’ll hear what it feels like to embrace natural tranquility and learn how to create awareness so that you can identify when you feel it and when you don’t. You’ll learn how to transform frenetic, anxious energy, even in the midst of chaos, to regain control of your impulse reactions and find your calm center.
If you’re ready to stoke the bonfires of your better living, surrounded by people and experiences that feel life-giving, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- The feeling of “being” together (1:41)
- Learning to observe without impulse (6:45)
- Primary food and secondary foods that we consume (8:38)
- Seeking out the life-giving moments (11:24)
- Prompts to help you identify what gives you life (14:23)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Article: Developing Executive Presence HBR 2011 by Joshua Ehrlich
Song: James Blunt’s Bonfire Heart
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Maria Sirois
Use the “Text Karlee” option above to send your Audio Comments and Questions to us.
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
🌟 Click to Send Karlee a Text - We Want To Hear Your Thoughts About This Episode 🌟
Is there a conversation that needs to be had, but you’re dreading it - and maybe even avoiding it?
Tough conversations are a part of life. They’re unavoidable. But all of the pent-up anxiety we create around that discomfort doesn’t help the situation feel any easier.
So, what if there was actually a way to simplify the words so that the things we needed to say were quick and definitive, and that could be the end of it?
This week, Karlee reveals why challenging conversations can feel so icky, and how you can start to manage them like a boss in a way that feels kinder and a little more gentle on your conscience.
In this episode, you’ll learn how to create a conversational boundary when you need to tell someone something they’re not going to like. You’ll get a few helpful, definitive scripts that will help you say the thing, and know what to do when there’s pushback. You’ll also learn why saying less is more powerful, and how to hold your ground like one famously fierce boundary pro.
If you’re ready to stand your ground and defend boundaries where they need to be laid, then this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Scripts to help you get through that next uncomfortable conversation (7:55)
- Examples of sticky situations and simple ways to handle them (11:37)
- How to stop talking and choose the kindest next move (13:02)
- Phrases to use to defend your boundaries (15:12)
- A prompt to boost your confidence before a difficult conversation (17:34)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
YouTube video: The Most Special Panda: Megh Er
Proven Boundary Scripts: What to say and how to say it without blowing things up
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Dr. Maria Sirois
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
🌟 Click to Send Karlee a Text - We Want To Hear Your Thoughts About This Episode 🌟
Do you sometimes feel like you don't know what to do next?
Do you feel like the way things look from the outside doesn’t quite match up with how you feel on the inside?
Have you recently caught yourself playing the comparison game, trying to weigh your accomplishments against others?
As much as we hate to admit it, these are the kinds of thoughts that sometimes rear their ugly heads. And then they proceed to get stuck in our heads, creating cycles of self-doubt that make us feel less confident than our professional accomplishments might allude to.
This week, Karlee will help you begin to normalize some of the difficult thoughts so many capable, competent, and confident people often struggle with, despite how things might look from the outside.
In this episode, you’ll hear what some of these thoughts sound like and start to identify which ones match those that might be swirling around in your head. You’ll learn why personal and professional growth must work in tandem if you want to achieve real success. You’ll also work through a simple 30-second exercise that’ll help you escape the loop of your own thoughts and regain control of your mind’s driver seat.
If you’re ready to loosen the grip your thoughts have on your time and gain more agency over the actions of your mind, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- One of the biggest lessons entrepreneurship teaches us (1:58)
- Thoughts that high achievers experience (6:13)
- The connection between personal and professional growth (9:15)
- An exercise to regain control of the thoughts you want to engage with (16:11)
- Letting your stickiest thought loose (17:59)
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
🌟 Click to Send Karlee a Text - We Want To Hear Your Thoughts About This Episode 🌟
✏️ Join us in Better Boundaries, Finally - Get the full scoop and access HERE
🌱 Join Karlee Fain + Maria Sirois Live In-Person For Navigating Change at Kripalu Center in June, 2024
The space between.
Those moments in life when it feels like one door is closing, but the next one hasn’t quite opened yet.
In order to navigate turning tides, we need all the courage we can muster.
But that courage isn’t something you need to look for externally. It’s already within you. You’ve spent a lifetime building it.
And all you have to do to find it is summon it.
This week, Karlee helps you navigate the turning tide by calling on you to look into the depths of your own sea of courage.
In this episode, you’ll learn how to use your time in the fertile void to tap into the courage you already have. You’ll rediscover the strength you’ve been accumulating throughout the span of your lifetime and learn how to use it to propel you to the next phase of change. You’ll explore a simple mental exercise that will help remind you of the many courageous things you’ve already accomplished and find the inner strength that will push you forward.
If you’re ready to turn the tide and tap into the reserves of your courage, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Floating in the liminal space (2:00)
- A reminder of how malleable we really are (4:17)
- Bolstering versus saving when people are going through difficult things (6:28)
- A prompt to summon your strength (10:23)
- A simple, one-click way to connect with Karlee (14:24)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
✏️ Join us in Better Boundaries, Finally - Get the full scoop and access HERE
🌱 Join Karlee Fain + Maria Sirois Live In-Person For Navigating Change at Kripalu Center in June, 2024
Book: Stirring the Mud: On Swamps, Bogs, and Human Imagination by Barbara Hurd
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
🌟 Click to Send Karlee a Text - We Want To Hear Your Thoughts About This Episode 🌟
✏️ Join us in Better Boundaries, Finally - Get the full scoop and access HERE
🌱 Join Karlee Fain + Maria Sirois Live In-Person For Navigating Change at Kripalu Center in June, 2024
You know something needs to change - or maybe you were minding your own business, and a change came uninvited to your doorstep - but how do you navigate this new territory when your plate is already full?
This week, Karlee invites you to consider how you can make life's shifting currents work for you by clarifying the questions that drive you.
She shares three mindset exercises to help you navigate change, recognize new possibilities, and consider your next steps in a manageable way.
This episode is equal parts inspiring story and practical tools you can use right now to develop clear next steps and an authentic vision for the future.
If you’re ready to navigate change with more grace, especially when life feels pretty full at the moment, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- The next step to try after you vent about change (3:29)
- People who lean in when action is necessary (4:42)
- Three mindsets required for a more sustainable change (7:09)
- The connection between momentum and synchronicity (8:52)
- Ways to take action toward change right now (12:48)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
✏️ Join us in Better Boundaries, Finally - Get the full scoop and access HERE
🌱 Join Karlee Fain + Maria Sirois Live In-Person For Navigating Change at Kripalu Center in June, 2024
Book: Ishmael by Daniel Quinn
Book: The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven by Sherman Alexie
Book: Herland Charlotte Perkins Gilman
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
🌟 Click to Send Karlee a Text - We Want To Hear Your Thoughts About This Episode 🌟
With so many things to do to get through the day, it’s easy to zone out.
We all do it.
Maybe you have zero recollection of being in the line at the grocery store because you just weren’t “there” mentally. And to the person on the other side of the register, you were just another customer who grabbed what you needed, paid, and walked out the door.
But now imagine if both parties were present. Imagine if the cashier noticed a little scratch on your hand and that led to a conversation about your new kitten, which in turn led to sharing cute pet pictures on your phones.
A simple interaction like this during an otherwise mundane 3 minutes at the grocery store checkout counter...it makes a big difference.
This week, Karlee shares a profound lesson in presence for moments big and small, courtesy of her dear late aunt and coaching pioneer, Shantipriya Marcia Goldberg.
In this episode, you’ll learn to spot the difference between what you do and the way you do it. You’ll begin to pay attention to the person you are in the presence of others, whether you’re up on stage in front of hundreds of people, or you’re just waiting in line with others for your morning coffee. You’ll also discover a simple exercise that will help you start becoming more present and conscious of your own needs and goals as you move about your day.
If you’re ready to tap into the potential of all of the moments of your day, and discover a little more joy while doing it, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- A new resource for sounds of inspiration (4:04)
- Sage words for when you’re feeling unprepared (6:32)
- How the presence of those around us makes all the difference (11:07)
- Choosing your word for this week (12:02)
- How to experience more of what you need right now (13:38)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Song: “Loved” https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3TUvnNuP7n/
Gaia Music Collective: https://linktr.ee/gaiamusiccollective
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Matt Goldstein @heartofgoldstein
Leslie Odom Jr @leslieodomjr
Hannah Tobias @_w_h_y_s_
Gymnopedie @gymnopedie_bk
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
When it rains, it pours, right?
Work is piling up, you break your ankle, your dog is feeling extra needy, your assistant calls out sick, and then your car breaks down. All in the same week.
But why does it always seem to happen this way? Could it be some universal test to see how you operate in moments of high stress? Is it a form of punishment?
Or…..is it an invitation to step back?
This week, Karlee invites you to take a deeper look at what it means to try and juggle it all when what you really might need to do is let something go.
In this episode, you’ll hear stories of people who have tried to keep performing at high levels when the drive to achieve takes precedence over the need for self-care. You’ll hear about Karlee’s own ah-ha moment of being told to step back, and how she pays that lesson forward to clients, even when that truth can be difficult to hear. You’ll also learn how to rewire your expectations of what you can do to focus on what you need to do.
If you’re ready to let go of the need to do it all and recognize the importance of stepping back so that you can circle back and do your best work, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Why the truth is always the kindest move (1:46)
- Knowing when it’s time to push less (4:06)
- The moment Karlee was told to walk away (5:23)
- How one business owner recalibrated her expectations (6:53)
- A consideration to determine where and how you’re showing up (11:01)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
SCORE Mentorship Program
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
Do you sometimes catch yourself doing or not doing something because you fear being judged negatively?
When these fears arise, they can muddle our feelings and instincts and interfere with our better choices.
That’s because these judgments don’t belong to us.
They’re the ghosts of our past, revisiting our present. The way to clear these emotional cobwebs is to name them for what or who they are.
This week, Karlee shares real-life ghost stories of emotional hauntings that have strange tendencies to sneak up on us well after the realities of their influence on our everyday lives have passed.
In this episode, you’ll hear true tales of people struggling with past ghosts, and how the fear of their judgment continues to affect the choices they make at work, as leaders, and in personal relationships too. You’ll learn how to identify whether the thoughts and decisions you’re making belong to you or if they’re remnants of past influences that make you question yourself. Karlee also offers an invitation for you to name and begin to explore the ghosts who might still be taking up space in your life.
If you’re ready to face the mental ghosts that are haunting you and holding you back, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Recognizing when “ghosts” are taking over (1:32)
- What happens when you’re haunted by past personalities (7:11)
- Overcoming the fear of being judged (10:15)
- The power of naming your ghost (12:18)
- Your invitation for this week (13:24)
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by Ginni Media.
What could you do today in order to be 3% more true to yourself?
Would you start your morning with a walk through your neighborhood, rather than heading straight to your inbox?
Would you put your phone on silent to have fewer interruptions so you could work more efficiently?
Would you listen to the hints your gut is giving you and not do the thing you’re on the fence about?
Boundaries are a collection of micro-decisions that we make about what to add in and what to subtract from our life.
This week, Karlee shares more wisdom from Better Boundaries, Finally with Dr. Maria Sirois. If you’re seeing red flags in the rearview mirror, creating the boundaries your gut is hinting at now will help you avoid the drama before it appears in the first place.
In this episode, you’ll learn how to recognize when signs of red flags are on the horizon, and how your body attempts to hint at when boundaries might be needed. You’ll discover a set of actionable daily prompts that will help you identify where you’re not being as authentic as you could be, and how you can begin to lean into your true self, 3% at a time.
If you’re ready to make your life 3% easier and embrace your authentic self a little more each day, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Downplaying red flags and navigating the fallout (0:59)
- The simple reason why certain situations start to feel difficult (2:52)
- One question to ask yourself right now (4:08)
- Small, practical steps for living more authentically (6:42)
- One example of where a boundary is needed (8:59)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Course Info: Better Boundaries, Finally
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Dr. Maria Sirois
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Most days, you have a to-do list that’s brimming with responsibilities and errands, all begging for a checkmark.
But here’s a question…
Where is your name on that list?
Cultivating strength through your own thought leadership is a BIG component of boundary-building.
But in order to get there and start to pave your path towards your best living and your most meaningful work, you’ve got to be on your list, too.
This week, Karlee explains why, in order to create the boundaries that will sustain you, you’ve got to trust yourself. And in order to built that trust, you have to become your own trusted thought leader.
In this episode, we’ll revisit the definition of a healthy boundary and learn why boundaries and thought leadership go hand in hand. You’ll hear stories from thought leaders who bounced back from the boundary deep end and found themselves in much calmer waters. You’ll also learn why boundaries become easier with time, and why creating them doesn’t have to equal drama.
If you’re ready to be the more nourished, steady, and enlivened version of yourself (that you know is hiding in there somewhere) then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- The importance of authentic thought leadership (1:26)
- How to keep moving in the direction of fulfillment (3:11)
- The definition of a healthy boundary (5:14)
- 3 relatable thoughts around boundaries (6:52)
- Creating strategic reminders to include yourself (12:20)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Course Info: Better Boundaries, Finally
Episode 147: Up For a Game of Boundary Tic-Tac-Toe?| 9 Indicators that Your Ready To Upgrade Boundary Game
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Dr. Maria Sirois
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Did you snap at someone you care about recently, and immediately you felt like a terrible person?
Does it feel like every time you try to “relax”, your mind can’t help but switch to auto-pilot and process the events of the day?
Do you have a time-sucking habit of acting out imaginary conversations in your head?
While the outcomes might look a little different for everyone, the symptom is the same.
Broken boundaries.
It’s time to write yourself a permission slip so you can mend what’s been breached and connect with what’s real.
This week, Karlee shares wisdom from the most recent session of Better Boundaries, Finally that will help you shore up what’s been broken and invite healthy boundaries back into your life.
In this episode, you’ll learn how to recognize the gaps between the person you are now and the more rested, balanced version of you that you want to become. You’ll hear how truth and vulnerability can offer you dignity in times of trouble. You’ll come away with practical questions to contemplate when you sense a boundary has been breached that will help you start navigating every aspect of your life from a singular, more authentic, sense of self.
If you’re ready to shore up the broken boundaries in your life and find more ease and authenticity, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- The important thing that happens when you embrace vulnerability (2:16)
- Nuggets of wisdom from Better Boundariess, Finally (4:50)
- Playing the game of Boundary Tic Tac Toe (7:46)
- What symptoms of stress and tiredness really mean (12:30)
- Two practical questions to consider about your boundaries (13:24)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
The Boundary Academy
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Dr. Maria Sirois
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Is it time to give yourself a break?
For high-achievers, the answer is probably a resounding, “yes”.
But when we’re not used to breaking and delegating and resting as a normal practice, sometimes the universe steps in and decides for us.
And then we scramble.
Whether it’s a worldwide pandemic, a painful divorce, or even a broken foot, the path forward offers opportunities for growth and, most importantly, a chance to demonstrate vulnerability.
This week, Karlee shares how an unexpected shift in mobility and independence has reminded her to take a deeper look at the opportunities within this circumstance.
In this episode, you’ll hear why it’s so important to demonstrate vulnerability as a leader, and how these moments of true sharing can improve company culture for the better. You’ll explore real-life examples of turning perceived crises into unique opportunities. You’ll also discover how to turn your next unexpected upheaval into an asset that also allows you to give yourself a little more grace.
If you’re ready to let go of the hero myth and start giving yourself a little more grace, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Showing truth and vulnerability in leadership (1:37)
- Debunking the myth of the solo hero (2:06)
- The sentence you need to hear when a shift is taking place (5:26)
- How challenges offer opportunities to change perspective (7:45)
- Turning defects into assets (11:32)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 57: Trying To Do It All Yourself? How smart leaders stop being the hero and start building emotional integrity with Tom Steding
Book: Real Teams Win: What Smart Leaders Need to Know Now about Achieving Peak Performance by Thomas L. Steding
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Tom Steding
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The concept of enough is a loaded one.
It’s full of our own high expectations. And then, it’s weighed down further by the expectations of a society that’s built around the rungs of achievement.
Do more. Be more. Repeat.
But when we take a step back and reflect upon what has been done already, the shift in perspective can be quite sobering.
Who decides when you’ve done enough?
You do. You decide where the finish line is. And when you get there, you acknowledge it.
It’s time to flip the script on the concept of ‘enough’.
This week, Karlee invites you to culminate on everything you have done, and to celebrate those accomplishments. Because ‘enough’ isn’t achieved through the perspective of anyone else. It’s your choice where you lay down that finish line.
In this episode, you’ll learn why it feels like you’re accomplishing a lot from the outside, but it still doesn’t feel like ‘enough’ on the inside. You’ll discover a check-in practice that will help you change your concept of what’s possible in a day, and celebrate when you’ve reached your self-imposed finish line. You’ll also learn why it’s so important to fortify this method of living and being alongside a community that thrives on nourishment, not punishment.
If you’re ready to embrace your enoughness and bolster your community with supportive voices, then this season is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- How appearances of enough can be deceiving (4:01)
- The check-in practice that will help you escape the guilt of not enough (8:17)
- Drawing a finish line and celebrating what has been done (13:31)
- Gathering a team where ‘enough’ is actually, enough (15:07)
- The lonely world of popular isolation (16:42)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
The Boundary Academy
Episode 102: Feel Like You Don’t Belong? How to invite authentic community through confidence, vulnerability, and self-connection
Episode 137: My Community Runneth Over | Why “self-care” isn’t only about you with Tanika Ray
Episode 141: Feel Like You're Never Doing Enough? | How to hack the comparison complex and find more joy
Ep. 142- Can’t Find Your Finish Line? | How to decide when you truly have done enough
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Maria Sirois
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
When it comes to focusing on our mental and physical well-being, the common cure always seems to be to do….something.
Buy a book, take a class, get a gym membership, whatever it is, it asks for a time commitment.
When time is already stretched to capacity, adding anything else just puts more pressure on us to do it all.
So what if instead of adding, we subtracted?
This week, Karlee explains why all of those self-help books and gym memberships are collecting dust. The cure to overwhelm isn’t tacking on more when we’re already chronically busy. If we believe we always have to be doing more, we can’t be present and enjoy what’s already good.
In this episode, you’ll learn why the idea of self-help can be flawed at its core. You’ll hear powerful methods for feeling the way you want to feel before you reach your goals so that reaching them becomes inevitable and more enjoyable in the process. You’ll also get the go-ahead to accept that what you’re doing is already enough.
If you’re ready to flip the script on self-help and tap into a more meaningful way to be well, then this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- A softer method of communicating (3:56)
- The sticky trap of the self-help industry (6:15)
- How to align your energy with your intentions (8:53)
- Proven ways to bolster your well-being (11:38)
- The permission slip you’ve been waiting for (12:59)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 141
Episode 142
Episode 143
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
You make time for the people in your life. You’re the one they call on, and they know they can depend on you to come through when it matters.
And yet….
In your own moments of need, it doesn’t quite feel like you have the same resources to call upon.
Not only does being the ‘available one’ put a constant draw upon your time and energy, but it leaves you tapped dry when you’re in need of nourishment yourself.
This week, Karlee shares what happens when you give and give to everyone, but you don’t get back in return. Relationships that cause us to overextend ourselves aren’t sustainable. But there is a way to recalibrate them, or close the door on them if need be, and it doesn’t have to hurt.
In this episode, you’ll learn to identify emotionally taxing relationships that are leaving you feeling overextended and determine which ones lack the crucial element of reciprocity. You’ll learn how to step back with a steady kindness. And you’ll hear how you can start to seek out deeper, more meaningful, and more reciprocal connections that will fill your cup.
If you’re ready to close the door for good on one-sided relationships, then this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- When relationships aren’t reciprocal (1:39)
- Finding sustainability in how much you give to others (5:21)
- Being capable and caring toward yourself (6:25)
- The Crowd’Em Out Approach (7:16)
- Being intentional and standing with yourself (9:15)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 141
Episode 142
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
How many times has, ‘Oh, just one more thing’ become a vortex that sucks you back into work mode?
Then before you know it, 2 hours have blown by and you’re missing that yoga class you really needed today.
If not knowing when to close your laptop, get up and stretch, go for a walk, or even go on vacation is a common theme in your life, then it might be time to ask yourself…
Who’s drawing my finish line?
This week, Karlee takes you down the slippery slope of calling it quits when you actually have done enough. Whether it’s your workday, your home duties, or a labor-of-love project that’s keeping you in “go” mode, knowing when to say stop is an essential part of what makes a healthy, thriving, balanced human.
In this episode, you’ll learn what’s behind this deeply held belief that more productivity equals more achievement. You’ll learn how you can begin to face the urge to do more with a quick reality check. You’ll also learn how to make the journey easier by bolstering your support system.
If you’re ready to be the one who decides where your finish line rests, then this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Finding your finish line (3:00)
- How to stop that “must do more” feeling in its tracks (5:54)
- Who decides when you’ve reached ‘enough’ (7:26)
- What to do if you feel alone in your need for change (11:17)
- Busting an age-old myth to find an easier path toward growth (13:19)
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Maria Sirois
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
What is enough, exactly?
Who decides when you've achieved it?
A mile-long list that needs to get done before you permit yourself to call it a day…sound familiar? Before you can kick off your shoes and relax on the couch or go for a run or get back to that book that’s been near-impossible to put down, your inner voice is laying down the guilt trip.
When all of those items don’t end up with a check next to them at the end of the day, they follow us to the places where joy is supposed to reside. Access to the things that refill our cup gets hijacked by incessant reminders that whatever we did get done, welp…sorry, it just wasn’t enough.
But that voice isn’t yours.
It’s the voice of comparison that’s keeping you up at night.
And you don’t have to listen to it anymore.
This week, Karlee reveals the true source of those ‘not enough’ whispers that occupy our thoughts. Those societal cues only prevent us from reaching for the nourishment and replenishment that our bodies and minds need to thrive. It’s time to lasso that inner voice and fling it into oblivion.
In this episode, you’ll learn why joy seems to always be at arm's length and how you can start to pull it inward. You’ll learn how a simple reality check can create space between your thoughts and actions, helping you make an informed choice about when, and if, the “thing” needs to be done.
If you’re ready to mute the comparison complex so you can create space and amplify joy in your life, then this is the season for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- The thing that keeps getting in the way of joy (3:28)
- Exchanging information overload for something simpler (5:18)
- Where the feeling of ‘not enough’ comes from (7:21)
- What’s really behind our tendency to compare ourselves to others (9:32)
- A powerful move for breaking through the ‘do more’ thought loop (11:54)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Book: Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience by Brené Brown
Article: Seligman’s PERMA+ Model Explained: A Theory of Wellbeing
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Kara Lowentheil
Brene Brown
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Join us next week as Karlee launches the 13th season of Messy and Magnificent!
We'll be cutting through the clutter and noise to simplify things - to remind ourselves of our best wisdom and how very capable we already are.
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Are those two-week vacations not really doing it for you anymore?
Better question…have they ever really done it for you? Packing your bags, catching a plane to some exotic locale, dealing with airport security, shifting into tourist mode for a week, then doing it all again just to come home, how is that considered rest?
The truth is that we were born into a burnout culture. And the “two weeks PTO” carrot on the stick ain’t cutting it. Vacations are wonderful, but they aren’t “rest”.
They’re like putting a bandaid on burnout when what we really need is resuscitation.
It’s time for a cultural exchange that shifts us away from the drudgery of burnout culture and encourages us to embrace a culture of rest.
This week, Karlee welcomes Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, a Board-Certified internal medicine physician, speaker, and award-winning author. She is an international well-being thought leader and author of numerous books, including her bestseller Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity. Her insight on the seven types of rest helps people understand their specific rest deficits as a means to overcome burnout, increase overall happiness, and live more meaningful lives.
In this episode, you’ll identify what burnout looks and feels like, and you’ll start to recognize the effect sustained burnout can have on your quality of life and your relationships. You’ll recognize how living and growing up in a burnout culture has taught us to treat vacations as cures, and why those breaks never really relieve our emotional burdens. You’ll also learn about the seven types of specific rest you need, which of them you need more of, and practical ways you can start to nourish your rest deficits.
If you’re ready to rip the bandaid off of burnout culture and take the time to deepen your understanding of what rest is and start to get more of it, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
Putting a bandaid on burnout vs getting real rest (5:49)
The Seven Types of Rest (10:46)
Recognizing the energy givers and takers in your life (26:35)
Growing up in a burnout culture (31:33)
Rest and the virtue of selflessness (39:13)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Video: TED: The 7 types of rest every person needs Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith
Book: Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity
FREE Quiz: Personal Rest Assessment
Connect with Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith:
Website: DrDaltonSmith.com
Twitter Handle: @DrDaltonSmith
Facebook Page: Dr. Saundra Dalton – Smith
Instagram: @DrDaltonSmith
Pinterest: @DrDaltonSmith
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
When you think about self-care, the term itself implies that it’s just about one person...you.
But actually, that doesn’t tell the whole story.
As we move through our lives, we’re supported by stilts. Like a house on the water, you might not always see them holding you up, but you couldn’t be there without them. Those stilts are the hands of your community. Friends, family, partners, and pets, some are just ships passing in the night, while others remain steadfast throughout our lives.
Particularly when the seas feel choppy and life changes course with little warning, those steady hands become our path to sanctuary. They keep us connected to our roots, and they are what guide us back home to self.
This week, Karlee invites you to take respite in the wisdom of Tanika Ray, a pop culture & lifestyle specialist with a holistic view of the cross sections of culture. Her podcast, Mamaste, is a sanctuary for the mommy collective. There, she fosters community and amplifies wellness, self-love, self-care, life lessons, and unapologetic boundaries.
In this episode, you’ll hear how becoming a mother profoundly shifted Tanika’s perspective about what’s important, and how it changed her definition of rest. She shares detailed insights from her upbringing, telling the story of her search for authentic community and for her truth, starting from the inside out.
Rest can often feel like a defiant act of self-care. But sanctuary needs stilts.
If you’re ready to find sanctuary and claim the space you need to come “home” to yourself, then this episode - and this community- are for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
Why community is an important part of creating sanctuary (2:41)
How parenting changes your worldview (5:54)
Sourcing validation from the inside out (10:36)
Why the definition of rest is highly personal (15:16)
Getting to the roots of why your fears exist (19:40)
Resources included in this Episode:
Book: Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity by Saundra Dalton-Smith
Article: What is a flow state and what are its benefits? (no date) Headspace. Available at: https://www.headspace.com/articles/flow-state (Accessed: December 19, 2022).
Connect with Tanika Ray:
Podcast: Mamaste with Tanika Ray
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Think about that friend of yours who’s always busy.
If you want to go to lunch or plan anything with this person, you need to do it a month in advance.
A spontaneous cup of coffee in the middle of the afternoon? Forgettaboutit.
And because this friend maintains such a full schedule, there’s a greater level of value that you attach to their time.
Or maybe, this person is you.
Squeezing everything you possibly can into that calendar square because when it’s full, you feel…well, what exactly?
Important? Productive? Valued? Effective?
Here’s the thing… there’s a difference between good work and overworking. To see it, you have to step outside of the busyness box and ask yourself what’s really necessary.
And most importantly, you have to sit with the answers to find out where your values of productivity came from in the first place.
This week, the tables are turned as Anitza interviews Karlee in order to dig deeper into this season of rest. In a society where we’ve been conditioned to associate busyness with productivity, we have to step back and ask ourselves…what’s so scary about resting?
In this episode, you’ll learn why good work depends on rest, and how to recognize the difference between quality output and flat-out overworking. You’ll reflect on your level of self-sacrifice, flipping the narrative around busyness to challenge both societal and cultural perceptions about what makes you valuable in the world. You’ll also learn how to think about the concept of time in a way that can help you reserve more of it, allowing space for more joy.
You really don’t have to do it all.But you need rest.
If busyness and self-sacrifice are woven into your identity, and if “doing it all” makes you feel more valued in the world, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Why building in time for rest is so essential to the creative process (3:23)
- Grading your level of self-sacrifice (7:21)
- Learning to distinguish good work from overworking (8:58)
- What it really means when you feel like you don’t have enough time (20:42)
- Why doing more sometimes means doing less (28:50)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Book: Stirring the Mud: On Swamps, Bogs, and Human Imagination by Barbara Hurd
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Your best friend from the neighborhood sends you a text mid-day, asking if you’d like to join them for a walk.
The sun is shining, your legs are stiff from sitting at the computer all morning, but…
“Too much work to do”. Sad face emoji.
Seated at your desk, you push through your body’s desire to go. That tug of war feels frustrating.
You want to, but work. You want to, but the kids. You want to, but you’ve already committed to something else you don’t really want to do.
It feels like, a little too often, you’re pushing away invitations to joy and peace in your life.
You decide to sit with this for a moment. And you wonder…what doorways might open up if you said “yes” to more of the things you really wanted to be doing?
What price are you paying for not moving forward?
Our work culture, our unpaid labor culture, and the roles we perform as mothers, spouses, friends, neighbors, and volunteers are all rooted in patterns of exploitation and exhaustion.
But what if you could find a way to take back a little more control? What if you could stop automatically defaulting to “no”, even in the face of a busy day? What if you could take just one step away from the paradigm that convinced you that the only “choice” you had was to say “no” to joy more often than you say “yes”?
This week, Karlee shares space with Faith Clarke, an Organizational Health & Inclusion Specialist. Through her work, she provides important cultural and historical context to how we navigate the “rules” of society, shedding a necessary light to explain how this conditioning affects us.
In this episode, we unpack the reasons why you might be working so hard and resting so little. You’ll start looking at your time and commitments in a different way, finding more opportunity pockets for rest. You’ll also hear how Faith constructs an “imaginary world” where rules can be broken, using space as an exercise to creatively find more respite.
If you’re ready to, in the words of Faith,
“Grab the thing that’s in front of you and say Okay, I can be in control of this!
…then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- How the constructs built around our bodies affect our ability to rest (2:37)
- Playing with the rules in order to figure out how to break them, safely (8:21)
- What it might look like to find “pockets” of respite in your life (13:24)
- How to invite others into your privilege (14:19)
- Reversing the narrative of the zero-sum game (18:17)
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Dr. Jovana Washington
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect with Faith Clarke:
Website
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Do you feel overwhelmed? Frustrated? Rested enough? Success takes work. A lot of it. And you’re probably feeling the side effects of it in your body right now. But ask yourself this…are you successful by your own definition, or sometimes, does it feel like someone else’s?
With so many converging definitions, how do you make sure you’re staying true to your own inherent values? Or should we back up…Do you know what those values are? This week, Karlee taps into the wisdom and experience of mindset coach Meredith Brisson. Through her work, Meredith helps equestrians hone in on their values, helping them learn how to work with their emotions rather than fight against them. By learning how to find their definition of success, they can embrace their true nature both on and off the track.
In this episode, you’ll learn what the highly intuitive nature of working with horses teaches us about finding balance and connecting with our actual values. You’ll start to identify whose values you’re really living by, and whether or not those values are leading you toward your goals- or potentially on a wild goose chase to a destination not of your choosing. Finally, you’ll learn how to successfully use your hard-won grit to find more balance, more time for rest, and offer yourself more grace.
If you’re ready to untangle your definition of success and get more deeply in tune with values that are truly your own, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Why the definition of success is personal (3:30)
- How to weave a little more grace into your grit (6:25)
- Creating a path to your goals using your values as a map (9:03)
- Why carving out time for nourishment takes grit (12:37)
- Making rest possible, even when it feels hard (16:57)
Resources Mentioned:
Article: Zippia 50+ Telling Paid Time Off PTO Statistics 2022 Average PTO In The United States Comments. (Accessed: December 20, 2022).
Article: Margarita Tartakovsky, MS. (Accessed: December 20, 2022).
Article: Counseling for young professionals (no date) Panthea Counseling NYC. (Accessed: December 20, 2022).
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Maria Sirois
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect with Meredith:
Website
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This season, we’re RECLAIMING REST: why we don’t make it a priority, why we feel guilty about needing it, and most importantly, how to personalize our rest and make it achievable on a micro level.
When you’re living in a perpetual state of exhaustion, it’s time to ask yourself how much self-sacrifice you’re engaging in, and whose values you’re living by.
All of this busyness and exhaustion is an invitation to replace perfection with purpose.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Why we’re talking about rest this season (1:44)
- One misconception we have about rest (9:22)
- The five pillars of rest we’ll cover this season (17:46)
- Discovering what’s hiding behind our fear of rest (26:59)
- Why it’s so hard to detach our need for rest from feelings of guilt (32:39)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Study: Norcross JC, Vangarelli DJ. The resolution solution: longitudinal examination of New Year's change attempts. J Subst Abuse. 1988-1989;1(2):127-34. doi: 10.1016/s0899-3289(88)80016-6. PMID: 2980864.
Book: The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
Book: Slowing Time: Seeing the Sacred Outside Your Kitchen Door by Barbara Mahany
Book: Stirring the Mud: On Swamps, Bogs, and Human Imagination by Barbara Hurd
FREE Guidebook: Roadmap for Rest and Regeneration for High Achievers
Article: Why do we buy into the 'cult' of overwork? BBC Worklife. BBC
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Meredith Brisson
Faith Clark
Anitza Martins
Tanika Ray
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Does the combination of your career success and your “always available” devotion to friends, family, and community often leave you feeling like you’re left with nothing but energetic scraps for yourself?
In other words, how rested are you?
If you’re feeling like you’ve put yourself and your right to rest on the backburner for too long, then this is your invitation to recalibrate.
This week, Karlee launches the 12th season of Messy and Magnificent, and with it, a proven roadmap for rest and regeneration for high achievers.
In this episode, you’ll hear how you can start paving the path to a new, more rested “you” by first honing in on your values. Once you’re clear on what’s really important to you, then you can begin to consider how you’d define what feels restful. This season is a community exploration of what rest really means, and how to make sure you’re getting as much of it (or more) than you need.
If you’re ready to start living a life that puts you first, without sacrificing success, then this is the season for you.
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Meredith Brisson
Faith Clark
Anitza Martins
Tanika Ray
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
If life has felt less like a cruise and more like a battleship lately, then rest assured that we are indeed all experiencing the same reality.
And we are in a time where we need a lifeboat.
On top of the general tumult, you’re also riding the waves of your personal circumstance. We’re navigating loss, employment, health, parenting, friendships, partnerships, and finances.
Minute by minute, we’re bravely navigating change.
In this episode, Karlee shares the mic with Dr. Maria Sirois, pre-eminent positive psychologist, author and masterful storyteller. Maria, a bonafide captain on the ship of change, opens a conversation that will inspire you to pause- in the midst of it all- just long enough to get wise.
You’ll hear about the science behind neuroplasticity, the neuro chemistry that affects our behavior and ultimately shapes our capacity for resilience. When it comes to getting through the tougher moments that life brings to your door, you’ll find out how to stay grounded and tap into optimism. You’ll also learn how to build a twofold type of inner hope that helps you through the hard times while always reminding you that the wisdom gained is bringing you to a slightly better “next” moment.
Looking for the positive is the lifeboat that’s going to keep us alive long enough to land in that next better place.
If you’re ready to honor the balance and navigate change with better resilience and more bravery, then this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Inspiration to find positivity in the toughest of circumstances (12:27)
- The lesser known history of how positive psychology and resilience came together (16:58)
- A more realistic definition of “hope” (20:35)
- What pain does for us (32:09)
- Why honoring the balance of life helps us lean into the positive (44:04)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Get the FREE Navigating Change Guide Book
Join us @ Kripalu Center, June 26-29th: Navigating Change: Steering Toward Your True North
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Kristen Neff
Prentis Hemphill
Dan Tomasulo
Connect with Maria Sirois:
Website
Books by Maria Sirois
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Get the FREE Navigating Change Guidebook that accompanies this season: https://www.karleefain.com/podcast
Today’s workplace is in a state of evolution. It’s being infused with the thinking of a new generation, and a post-covid one, to boot.
That means change is happening around us in real-time. And we have to think and do differently.
The burden of all that shifting is a lot for any leader, and it can lead to burnout.
But burnout….it serves a purpose. It’s an invitation to reinvent.
What if we ditched the hierarchical workplace structure in favor of something more collaborative? What if instead of the “boss” and “employee” dynamic, everyone was seen as a co-creator?
What if we treated one another like thinking, feeling humans, all navigating a changing world together?
In this episode, Karlee sits down for a chat with industry innovator, creative visionary, and legacy builder, Emily Pritchard. Over the past decade, she’s disrupted preconceived notions of the social media industry and transformed it into a viable way to drive business. And perhaps most importantly, she’s inspiring a new way of embracing our shared humanity in today’s workforce.
You’ll hear her unique perspective on how allowing for a greater element of humanity in the workplace opens the doors to better relationships and more collaborative productivity. She shares how this shift in the traditional paradigm actually helps us become better at communicating what we need and more effective when exchanging feedback. You’ll learn how inspiring action as a leader rather than forcing it helps shape a new generation of entrepreneurial leaders.
If you’re ready to discover a more sustainable, more human path to navigating your business and your life, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- The difference between being a boss, a coach, and an advocate when it comes to leadership (5:53)
- Why sharing as a leader is an important vulnerability (15:25)
- What an entrepreneurial ecosystem looks like in practice (23:45)
- How to create sustainability before hitting the burnout stage (29:54)
- Why stepping away is important for evolution (46:30)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 57: Trying To Do It All Yourself? How smart leaders stop being the hero and start building emotional integrity with Tom Steding
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect with Emily:
The Social Lights
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Get the FREE Navigating Change Guidebook that accompanies this season: https://www.karleefain.com/podcast
We live in a world that puts a lot of value on selfless acts.
But what we don’t do for ourselves comes at a cost.
If you’re not getting enough sleep or not taking the time to sit down for 20 minutes of nourishment at lunchtime, those deprivations of needs start to add up. Maybe you’re unable to focus at work and that overflow means you have to work late. So, you cancel dinner plans with a friend and weeks go by without you remembering to reschedule, which results in hurt feelings.
Sacrificing yourself can actually be burdensome to other people.
Making time for self-care is an act of generosity towards yourself and to the most important people in your life.
Bolstering our self-image is perhaps one of the most fun and creative segues into the realm of self-care. It’s a way to instantly transform the way we see ourselves, helping us to project a greater sense of worthiness upon our greatest asset: ourselves.
In this episode, Karlee welcomes Erika Cartledge, the founder/owner of Your Chic is Showing. Through her highly-personalized approach to styling, she helps clients elevate their self-image and build their confidence. As an image architect, she helps people visualize the changes going on inside to reflect the holistic process of designing something new, fresh, and confident on the outside.
You’ll hear about the emotional importance of our individual approach to self-care, and how those things hanging in our closets offer deeper revelations about the space we think we deserve to occupy in the world. She explains the real reasons we hold on to things that no longer serve us, and how we can honor the person that we were while still making room to move forward. Ericka believes that our wardrobe is the one place where we don't give ourselves grace, and why it’s important to allow change to happen in there, too.
Navigating the depths of your closet is one way to create the space you need to pause, get purposeful, and be in partnership with yourself and your work.
If you’re ready to extend to yourself, and to those around you, the generosity of self-care, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Knowing when to stop pushing and start making changes (8:45)
- How our external shifts coincide with our internal shifts (14:00)
- Common beliefs about the way we present ourselves to the world (16:14)
- A candid unpacking of emotions behind an unworn jacket (29:56)
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Connect with Erika
Website
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
*RSVP to be on the show on May 11th with Karlee Fain & Maria Sirois!
Get the FREE Navigating Change Guidebook that accompanies this season: https://www.karleefain.com/podcast
Who are you in relationship to change?
Do your hands start sweating? Does your blood pressure start to rise? Does panic set in?
When change enters the conversation, we experience a physical reaction. Whether you’re the leader or the parent, we’ve all been conditioned to feel the pressure of coming up with an answer or making the right decision “ now”.
What if you could tame that feeling of urgency and recapture a little bit of control in that moment?
Tapping into the roots of your immediate emotional response allows you time…time to make decisions that actually solidify your integrity.
In this episode, Karlee welcomes Jack Mason- Goodall back to the show. In 2020, he founded Autism Optimism International, an organization that supports and trains families, professionals, and employers of neurodiverse people around the world. He strives to facilitate relationships based on understanding, acceptance, and compassion for autistic people to lead their best lives.
You’ll hear why taking time to pause is the key to better, more aligned decision-making. Jack shares tools from his experience that will help you let go of the idea that change always needs to be comfortable. He poses a simple question to ask yourself when you’re faced with a big decision, and how you can accept the discomfort of change in order to make decisions that feel authentic and in alignment with who you are, and the kind of leader you want to be.
If you’re ready to take a minute to be certain that your decisions are in sync with your values, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Giving yourself the space to pause when change seems urgent (4:52)
- The opportunity change offers us to strengthen our integrity (15:26)
- How embracing differences supports change (21:31)
- One question to ask yourself when you encounter change (26:57)
- Letting go of the pressure to be comfortable (39:42)
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Jack:
Autism Optimism International
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
RSVP to be on the show on May 11th with Karlee Fain & Maria Sirois
Get the FREE Navigating Change Guidebook that accompanies this season: https://www.karleefain.com/podcast
Words matter.
Whether they’re the words other people say to us, the words we say to ourselves, or the words we impress upon the world around us.
They can give us encouragement, break us down, and lift us out of our darkest depths.
Words are medicine. And, giving ourselves the space to find the ones we want to say is a precious gift that can heal our wounds and help us honor who we truly are.
In this episode, Karlee welcomes Gayle Danley: CEO, Poetry ProsFormer National and International Poetry Slam Champion and Maryland Library Association Poet of the Year. Gayle goes into America's classrooms teaching thousands of children how to access their emotions through the force of words. She shares three decades of poetic process in her online course "Lessons in Poetry," helping writers build emotional stamina for their work.
You’ll hear how Gayle learned from an early age that her words provided a sense of self-worth that the world around her wasn’t offering. By creating a process for her poetry that allowed her to express her truth, she shaped an identity that continues to inspire writers and poets around the world. She shares how poetry has helped her challenge perceptions, navigate change, and process loss.
If you’re ready to find the right words to help you navigate changes in your life, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- What it means to be “good” (7:17)
- How a girlfriend goddess comes into being (11:45)
- Why poetry has the power to challenge the world around you (18:03)
- How words can help us navigate change (19:46)
- Adapting and mooring when changes happen to us (31:57)
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Suzi Banks Baum
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect with Gayle:
Lessons in Poetry
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
RSVP to be on the show on May 11th with Karlee Fain & Maria Sirois
We are being asked to do more or do differently, especially over the last two years. All the while, it’s happening at a time when we have less space to pause and catch our collective breath as we make decisions and navigate our way through.
In this episode, Karlee launches a season dedicated to helping you navigate change in a way that allows you to do it with boundless courage and more grace. She shares why change needs to be modeled around the whole microbiome of who we are, rather than simply by addressing individual parts.
You’ll learn how to summon up courage from the heart, and how to tap into your truth to find clarity in the moment. You’ll learn about the head so you can understand the psychology behind graceful transitions. You’ll uncover the body’s physical signs, leading you to a better understanding of how you really feel. And, you’ll discover a vision for moving forward and how to know what makes sense next.
The changes we’re navigating are new territory for all of us. We don’t have to fight-or-flight our way through it.
There’s a better way.
If you’re ready to leap boldly into change, even if other people disagree, but you know it’s what you need, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
What to expect from our new format and why we’re doing it (8:40)
How you can be a part of the show (10:44)
The 4 pillars of navigating change (12:15)
One question that will help you understand your relationship to change (21:10)
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Dr. Maria Sorois
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Get the FREE Navigating Change Guidebook that accompanies this season: https://www.karleefain.com/podcast
Article: Grant, A. (2021, December 3). Feeling Blah During the Pandemic? It’s Called Languishing. The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/well/mind/covid-mental-health-languishing.html
Article: Pruitt, J. (2021, January 5). 5 TED Talks That Prove Change Doesn’t Have to Be Hard. Inc.Com. https://www.inc.com/jeff-pruitt/5-ted-talks-to-get-your-team-excited-about-transformation.html
Article: Leaders Don’t Have to Choose Between Compassion and Performance. (2022, February 16). Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2022/02/leaders-dont-have-to-choose-between-compassion-and-performance?cx_testId=6&cx_testVariant=cx_1&cx_artPos=2&cx_experienceId=EXK3YX95ALS3&ab=piano_rightrail_recs#cxrecs_s
Connect With Karlee:
Website
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Imagine you’re walking along your favorite path in the park near your house. The sun is shining, you’ve got a really rich episode of Messy & Magnificent playing in your ears. You’re in your zone.
Until… a fallen branch trips you up while your eyes are focused somewhere else.
Now, you’ve got a few scrapes on your elbow and a hole in the knee of your favorite pants.
That’s kinda what it feels like when change besieges us. It can be sudden or it can be something we’ve seen heading toward us for a long time.
But with so much of it coming at us these days, just like those elbow scrapes, it doesn’t always end up pretty.
There is a way to navigate change with grace, clarity, and allyship.
In this trailer episode, Karlee introduces the 11th season of Messy and Magnificent: Navigating Change. You’ll learn how to approach change in a way that gives you the time and space you need to navigate it more effectively. You’ll hear how our experience of change relates to community self-care and collaborative ecosystems. You’ll learn how to take time to pause in the face of change and how to love and soothe yourself through it all.
If you’re ready to equip yourself with the tools to navigate change with grace, clarity, and allyship, then this is the season for you.
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
As much as we humans feel productive and adept when we run efficiently, we are not machines.
We are nature.
And nature has evolved to work most efficiently in cycles. These seasons are synonymous with alternating periods of bloom, of letting go, of rest, and renewal.
When we allow ourselves to embrace our seasonal nature, we’re working in allyship with our bodies, allowing us to sustain our personal growth and professional success.
This week, Karlee starts off by introducing a new, more cyclical rhythm to the show that’s going to allow Messy & Magnificent to live into what we know to be true about our nature as humans. And through the process of this shift, in real-time, you’ll hear how Karlee is personally navigating this big change, along with the risks and potential rewards it carries with it.
In this episode, you’ll learn why being brave enough to say yes when something feels right, even through the uncertainty, is worth the risk regardless of whether you fail or succeed. You’ll hear why piloting our bodies in machine-mode leaves so little space for discovery, the very thing that helps us launch new and fresh ideas. Finally, you’ll hear examples of how our bodies provide cues, and why going with that flow rather than staying in auto-pilot tends to lead to better, and sometimes surprising, outcomes.
If you’re ready to embrace the cyclical nature of change and allow the seasons to do their thing then this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
How prolonged periods in machine mode can rob us of space for joy (1:03)
An example of how listening to your body can save you (10:53)
Embracing our cyclical nature (14:40)
The big change we’re tapping into on Messy & Magnificent (19:06)
Accepting the risk that change brings with it (22:42)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Book: Stirring the Mud: On Swamps, Bogs, and Human Imagination by Barbara Hurd
Episode 122: Ready to Make Great Decisions?
Episode 123: When Tradition Lays a Trap
Episode 124: Exhausted? Achy? Out of Steam?
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Glennon Doyle
Mary Oliver
Maria Sirois
Connect With Karlee:
Website
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Headaches. Muscle stiffness. The yearning for a good, long massage but feeling like you don’t have the time to get one.
These are all messages our bodies send us. They are cries for attention.
“Heeey…something’s not aligned in here.”
But, we don’t always know the language of our bodies. And while it is our responsibility to learn better ways to interact with our physical selves, it really isn’t our fault that we’re caught in a cycle of self-neglect.
Most cultures just don't include well-being in the conversation.
Our bodies are seen as inconveniences that need to be controlled or constructed or modified or ignored.
But, the manifestation of our dreams requires that we're physically able to be there.
Including our bodies in the conversation makes all the difference.
This week, Karlee offers up a lesson in the most important language of them all: body language. Because if women and leaders placed more value on becoming allies to our bodies, everything else we're trying to do becomes that much more possible.
In this episode, you’ll learn why our inability to understand the language of our bodies leads to aches, pains, and feelings of inauthenticity. You’ll hear interesting research on why women in particular suffer from physical pain and discomfort, and how you can avoid making the rookie coaching mistake Karlee made for years that ultimately taught her the magic of making things more doable.
When we leverage the information our bodies are giving us, it becomes our most vital and prolific resource when it comes to our careers, our health, and our relationships.
If you’re ready to know for certain that you're giving yourself the best resources to thrive without feeling like you need to do more or push harder, then this episode is for you.
Save the Date: Monday, March 21st:International Bring Your Body to Work Day #bodytowork
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
How our bodies signal the need for change (2:23)
Why people who include their bodies in their work - work better (11:08)
Why women are more prone to physical strain (13:35)
How we can cultivate more connection with our bodies (18:56)
How to respond when someone (including yourself) asks for a break (22:22)
The magic of making things more doable (25:21)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
The Spirit House Project
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Sonya Renee Taylor: The Body is Not an Apology
Tara Brach
Connect With Karlee:
Website
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
There’s no shortage of obligations. Things we don’t really want to do but we trudge through anyway. Spending our days in patterns that drain rather than inspire is common.
But, what if….
What if you took a moment to pause this time and asked yourself a simple question:
Why am I doing this thing I'm doing?
The rituals and routines we participate in can be hard to break, but when traditions lay traps for our time and emotional health then it’s time to get intentional again.
The feelings we experience when we're part of expectations that we don’t want to be a part of anymore end up bringing us more anxiety than joy. And those feelings of anxiety are trying to tell you that something just isn’t working for you anymore.
This week, Karlee welcomes the wise words of Suzi Banks Baum. Last fall, Suzi brought up a subject that many of us think about but seldom act upon. If we’re going to continue to tell ourselves we “have to do this” and we “gotta do that”, then the least we can do is ask ourselves why.
Because it’s all about the why.
In this episode, you’ll learn how to identify the weight of expectation when tradition lays a trap. You’ll hear Suzi explain the correlation between feelings of “I don’t want to be doing this anymore” and the knowing you have in your body, particularly when it comes to deciding if something still makes sense in your life. She also shares how you can gracefully and respectfully untangle yourself from situations when a change needs to happen.
If you’re ready to clear your path to find more joy and a whole lot more ease, then this episode is for you.
Save the Date: Monday, March 21st:International Bring Your Body to Work Day #bodytowork
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- What agreement and disagreement feel like in your body (1:03)
- Why holidays and traditions can become burdens not blessings (11:14)
- What it feels like to know when something makes sense or doesn't anymore (14:41)
- How to get out of the contracts that no longer serve you (23:38)
- A clever mantra to help you determine the right and wrong time to have tricky conversations (25:28)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 106: Trust Your Knowing: How Women Rise From Doubt to Leading Themselves Forward with Suzi Banks Baum
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect with Suzi:
Website
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Why is it that we don't listen to our bodies?
When you have a headache, you take a pill to relieve the pain so you can go about your day. But what if it keeps coming back?
That’s a message.
When you experience tension in your neck and shoulders, maybe again, you take a pain reliever and consider booking a massage. But what if it keeps coming back?
That’s a message.
All of the folks who thrive in their careers, health, and relationships have some type of interactive relationship with their bodies on a regular basis.
We have bodies, and their innate wisdom is there to support us when we include them in the conversation.
Care for them is essential because, with their feedback, we make better, more thoughtful, and more informed decisions.
This week, Karlee poses an important question: How do you know what is true, and how does your body help inform that knowledge? In this urgency culture that we inhabit, a culture that worships getting things done quicker, our bodies get lost in the action. These are our means for doing and too often, we take them for granted. Our earthly vehicles can be crucial to our decision-making…if we listen to what they’re trying to tell us.
As Terry Tempest Williams wrote in When Women Were Birds, "My body is my compass, it does not lie." But...
What if nobody told you how to read your compass? Or worse, they convinced you that the signs your body is giving you are wrong, so you stopped trusting your internal guidance system or started discounting it?
In this episode, you’ll learn why we’re not taught to listen to our bodies and some of the potential side effects we experience when we ignore the messages we’re receiving. Karlee shares a few real-life examples of women who did take a beat to slow down and listen, and she reveals the transformative effects that a simple pause offered. Finally, she shares a quick exercise that will help you check in with your body right now, and how to stay tuned in and ready to receive information on a daily basis.
Be sure to catch a very important thought Karlee shares about the war in Ukraine. If you’re feeling like you want to be helpful, but also feeling a little helpless at the same time, she shares a few practical things you can do from where you are, right now. (6:06)
If you’re ready to dare to pause and include your body in the conversation, then this episode is for you.
Save the Date: Monday, March 21st:International Bring Your Body to Work Day #bodytowork
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
A parable about creating change through ease rather than by force (9:59)
3 reasons why you might not be listening to your body (11:40)
What it feels like when your body is talking to you (16:57)
A quick exercise to check-in with your body (23:09)
How one woman benefitted in big ways by listening to her body (29:02)
An invitation to bring your body to work (32:29)
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Do you remember what that old acronym K.I.S.S. stands for?
Keep It Simple, Sister.
When you’re feeling the weight of overwhelm, that’s an invitation to get small and simplify.
This week, Karlee revisits a particularly nourishing bite from Karin Witzig Rozell. In the midst of pandemic overwhelm, Karin received the ubiquitous disruption as an invitation to simplify. And that made all the difference, giving her the space she needed to handle everything on her plate, but do it all with more grace through a very confusing time.
In this episode, you’ll hear how you can get big results by going small and intentional when faced with overwhelm by accepting the invitation to simplicity. You’ll also discover the human value of exposing our wildly imperfect moments, and learn how to create your own personal definition of wealth so that you can identify what’s important.
If you’re ready to K.I.S.S. overwhelm goodbye and lean into a simpler way of being, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- The invitation that overwhelm offers us (2:19)
- Exchanging the burden of fragmenting for the lightness of authenticity (4:27)
- Defining how you describe true wealth (5:17)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 59: Lifestyle Rich: Free yourself from the tyranny of "I need to do it all" thinking and get big results by going small with Karin Witzig Rozell
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Do you have a go-to handful of stories that you tell about yourself? And if so, how do they land on your audience?
Whether it’s the stories you tell to your friends, the ones you tell on first dates, or the ones you tell in the workplace, our stories are gateways that connect us to others.
This week, Karlee calls upon one sweet bite of wisdom from Dr. Maria Sirois. It’s a lesson in masterful storytelling for anyone who’s curious about how the stories you’re telling are opening up the lines of communication with others.
In this episode, you’ll hear why storytelling is the key to engagement, and why masterful storytelling has the potential to transform. Going all the way back to our tribal, neurobiological roots, you’ll learn what makes a story work, and you’ll uncover why three specific layers of storytelling make this type of sharing the most impactful way of communicating.
If you’re ready to deepen your connections with others through the art of masterful storytelling, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- How storytelling helps you connect with others (1:37)
- What superheroes can teach us about the stories we tell about ourselves (2:59)
- The way our brains process memory through storytelling (4:39)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 49: Masterful Storytelling: How to Share Your Stories to Transform and Engage with Others with Dr. Maria Sirois
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
If you had a label, what would it say?
Now, would that label need to be swapped out depending on who you were marketing yourself to?
A blue label for work, a yellow one for home, a purple one for your friends?
All that labeling gets complicated. So it begs the question…
Why do we feel the need to have so many different labels depending on the audience?
Why can’t we just wear the one description that fits us most authentically; exposing our vulnerabilities, our strengths, and just…embrace it?
This week, Karlee shines the light on a particular piece of wisdom courtesy of brand building expert Farryn Weiner. When reflecting on how Covid-19 has changed the way she does business, Farryn highlights the importance of shared values, alignment, and authenticity.
In this episode, you’ll hear how the upheaval of Covid-19 has helped her focus on the type of business owner she wants to be, and how that decision relates to knowing the kind of person she wants to be. She shares why emotional intelligence is becoming more important in the workplace, and reveals how vulnerability is really the key to happiness and fulfillment.
If you’re ready to embrace who you truly are and create a more holistic fusion of your you’s, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- The rising value of emotional intelligence (2:39)
- Why aligned values matter (5:01)
- What it means to find emotional success (6:11)
- Knowing and accepting your personal brand (7:18)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 40: Emotional Success: How to Leverage Your Unique Values Like the World’s Best Brands do with Farryn Weiner
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
If at any point in your career you’ve bought into hustle culture, then it’s easy to draw the line as to how you got here.
You probably sought out this podcast and this community because you recognize that in here, we do things differently.
You realize that hustling is exhausting.
And frankly, hustling your way to success isn’t even necessary.
You’re here because you heard that we’ve got the antidote to overwhelm.
In this episode, Karlee delivers this precious antidote by first dispelling the myths of vertical success. She explains the origins of antiquated, testosterone ways of thinking and why it just doesn’t work in today’s world. She shares an example of idea emergence, and why its creator felt the need to protect it in order to see it to fruition.
Today you’ll hear what it sounds like when imposter syndrome kicks in and how you can gently, humbly stop it in its tracks while you create the space you need to breathe. Karlee also shares the outline of her culmination practice, explaining why taking that time to recap, refresh, and renew makes all the difference.
If you’re ready to end overwhelm for good and lean into your own culmination practice, then this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- The myths around vertical success (3:17)
- How to protect emerging ideas from being squashed by questions and imposter syndrome (4:16)
- The questions we encounter when imposter syndrome starts to creep in (5:48)
- What a culmination practice practically looks like (6:13)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 3: Done Burning Out? The 4 phases of growth and sustaining success
Credit: Karlee learned the names of the 4 seasons she mentions from Kate Northrup
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Sometimes, rather than devour that whole bag of chocolates, it’s actually more nourishing to nibble on just one (ok, maybe 2…).
If you’re facing a week or month where your plate feels a little too full, but you don’t want to sacrifice what nourishes you, then that single piece of dark chocolate becomes more meaningful. More satisfying. And even more delectable.
This month, Karlee’s bringin’ you the dark chocolate one bite at a time; short, sweet, nourishing concepts that you can expand on at your own pace.
In this episode, she asks you to explore what healthy, grounded optimism might look like in your world. You’ll learn how to dig deeper to find what’s at the root of your emotions, and you’ll hear a simple exercise that can help you find balance in that truth.
If you’re ready to get real about where you are in this moment AND address what needs shifting through simple, actionable words, then this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- What unstable shower temperatures can teach us about getting centered (2:13)
- How to build your AND sentence (4:45)
- Getting to the truth of what’s in your swamp and what’s in your pond (5:44)
- What women who thrive know how to do (7:23)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 1: One Word that Will Elevate Everything You Do
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
If this particular time in your life and in the world feels a bit overwhelming, well…you’re definitely not the only one.
Our world has felt kinda shaky and uncertain for a while now, and we’re all just here, together, rockin’ along with the boat.
That’s why it’s important to take control where you can. Because one thing we know to be true is there’s only one reliable, infallible, and fool-proof antidote to overwhelm.
When you’re feeling overwhelmed, then that means it’s time to get focused.
And there’s nothing better at bringing more focus into your life than long-term than goal-setting. But, we’re not talking about traditional models of goal-setting…ohhh, no, no.
For a goal to be sustainable, it’s gotta be about what’s realistic for you. It’s got to be specific to the here and now. AND, it needs to be holistic so that it fits into in all areas of your life.
In this episode, Karlee helps you figure out how to cultivate plans that are practical, purposeful, meaningful, and most importantly, how to make them actually work for you. And, even how to make sticking with them enjoyable. If your goals feel like they’re depleting or exhausting you, you’re about to learn a smarter, more realistic way to make sure your goals reach the finish line.
You’ll learn why the antidote to overwhelm when making plans is to get specific, and how to make your goals malleable so they work within the context of your changing life. She shares a modern goal-setting strategy that takes some wisdom from decades past, but rearranges it in order to more effectively meet you here in the current moment, and in our current economy.
If you’re ready to turn your overwhelm into focus and set sustainable goals that work with your life, then this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
Why being malleable in your form and function is important (1:49)
How to goal-set holistically so you’re supported in all areas of your life (11:19)
A fresh version of the S.M.A.R.T. goal mapping system (17:29)
Evaluating how realistic your goals are with 3 simple questions (24:32)
How to be malleable if the goal isn’t sustainable (31:21)
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Sophie Weill
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 113: Building a Stronger Basket
Episode 114: Putting the Self in Success
Episode 115: Want to Be “Enough”? Here’s how women get resourced
The Active Ingredient Podcast with Sophie Weill
Book: The One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth about Extraordinary Results by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Kicking off a new year by casting a wider net is common for a lot of folks… but that’s not what we do here.
Here, we take our cues from nature. And in the natural world, winter is a time for going deeper.
It’s a time for making sure our bodies are nourished, our bellies are full, and our baskets are filled with everything we’ll need for the journey of the year to come.
When we start this new cycle by gathering the resources that’ll see us through, then we’re far less likely to feel depleted down the road.
Getting resourced helps us to know the difference between enough work and over-working.
Getting resourced equips us with the self-awareness required to lead without harm to ourselves or to others.
In this episode, Karlee shares why getting resourced now is the key to your physical, mental, and emotional longevity all year long. She reveals the four C-19 L’s that high-achieving women have been struggling with since the early days of the pandemic, and what these four indicators are telling you about the resources you should be building up now.
You’ll learn about a specific type of leader that really shouldn’t be trusted, and why our cultural glorification of these types of leaders only directs us more towards toxic productivity. Karlee also shares five free or low-cost, high-ROI ways you can obtain more resources right now that’ll help you fill your basket to the brim.
If you’re ready to be deeply supported and stop doing all the heavy lifting in order to make what you want to experience next happen, then this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
What bodily neglect is telling you about your work (2:19)
The 4 L’s that Covid has introduced to our lives and how to shake them (11:20)
One myth that needs debunking right now (18:11)
Pinpointing the resources you might be lacking (21:26)
Creative ways to add more free time to your days (27:38)
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Kate Northrup
Adam Grant
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 113: Building a Stronger Basket
Episode 114: Putting the Self in Success
Episode 41: Is Your Work Mojo Down?
Grant, A. (2021, April 19). There's a Name for the Blah You're Feeling: It's Called Languishing. Retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/well/mind/covid-mental-health-languishing.html
FREE Character Strengths Assessment
Connect With Karlee:
Website
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
How do you define success? Is it about pleasing your boss, your staff, or your clients? Is it about the numbers reflected in your bank account? Does success mean being available, even though it often wears you out?
Now, how many of those reference points for success are really about you, and how many are about other people’s perceptions of you?
Real, meaningful success depends on your reference point. Our goals have to be shaped around what we value in and for ourselves, rather than what others value in and about us.
If you’re calibrating your goals based on the preferences, priorities, and needs of others over what you know to be true for you, then YOU aren’t the reference point.
And that’s gotta change.
In this episode, Karlee talks about the difference between self-referencing a goal versus other-referencing a goal. She shares real-life examples of meaningful self-reference success points and walks you through a straightforward process that will help you identify a personal formula for success that’s based on what you value.
If you’re ready to lead with clarity, confidence, and a better understanding of exactly what your next steps are, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- What gets obscured in the fog of success (9:39)
- The difference between goals that are self-referenced and other referenced (12:57)
- An example of to-the-point self referencing (15:10)
- The 3 W’s that’ll help you identify what gives you life (18:37)
- How to incorporate more of what you value into your life (25:29)
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Jen Delos Reyes
Nancy Levin
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 113: Building a Stronger Basket: How to plug up the leaks of what’s draining you and preserve more energy for the things you value.
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
A friend calls desperate for a coffee date. It’s your day off and it’s been a long week. And, these coffee dates with this particular friend always leave you feeling drained.
But, you don't want to hurt their feelings. So you grab your coat and keys and reluctantly head out the door.
You’ve had this business idea floating around in your head for a while now. But every time you get a burst of energy and feel ready to put more time into developing this concept, something always gets in the way.
Your current job. A social media side-track. You feel like maybe you should clean the house or do laundry instead.
So that idea stays floating in the ether.
There’s a foundation that we’re built upon…it’s something we all want and need to preserve. But life and people and work and other distractions always seem to compromise the sturdiness we seek.
That, my friends, is leaky basket syndrome.
And if you’re a woman in this world, you’ve been conditioned to carry around a basket that’s prone to leaking.
If you've ever struggled with follow through, or you feel like you’re stuck in relationships that aren’t feeding you very well anymore but you’re afraid to let them go, then know this:
You are not a screw up.
Your basket is the foundation that every plan and decision you’re going to make this year needs to depend upon if it’s going to survive.
So, we've got to plug those leaks. We've got to plan and get resourced if we want our plans to stand a fighting chance.
In this episode, Karlee describes some of the most common culprits of leaky basket syndrome, and why historically, those of us who identify as women have been uniquely susceptible to condoning punctures within our foundations. She’ll pinpoint the emotional cues that are letting you know when something is draining your resources and keeping you from living into the plans you make. You’ll learn a simple 4-step system for tending to your basket and learn a practical, pragmatic way to mend those leaks for good.
Boundaries take practice, but remember… YOU are the curator of the gallery of your life.
If you’re ready to accept this invitation to build a sturdier basket, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Why January is a terrible time to get new goals (1:10)
- What tending to your basket looks like: a 4-step system (3:63)
- Identifying leaky basket syndrom (12:45)
- The one permission you can grant yourself that’ll mend up a few leaks (17:00)
- Some of the most common leaks that might need mending (18:22)
- How to shake off the need to people-please in our DNA (22:43)
- A quick, doable exercise for mending those leaks (25:17)
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Congratulations! You’ve made it to the end of another year…
How do you feel about it?
In the grande scheme of what’s passed, the things you’ve learned, and how you’ve grown, where might you point the arrow on your joy-o-meter?
Ok, ok…let’s scale it back a little.
Let’s be in the now. What’s bringing you joy right now?
You see, the holidays carry with them a veneer of happiness and celebratory tendencies, but that’s not always how it feels for everyone.
Maybe you don’t feel like celebrating.
Maybe the thought of family-time brings you anxiety.
Maybe you just can’t wait until it’s over and done with.
Maybe there’s a whirlwind of other stuff going on in your heart right now and it’s got you feeling weighed down.
These lows, especially during the holidays, can feel exaggerated in comparison to the jingle-bells world taking place outside our windows.
So, how do we tend to that heaviness in order to find respite and tap into what brings us joy?
In this episode, Karlee and co-host Anitza Martins talk about what it’s like to experience heart-heaviness during times that are supposed to be filled with joy. They discuss how guilt manifests when you’re just not feeling festive, and why it’s so important to get to the root of our emotions rather that stuff them away. Karlee shares a simple trick she uses to mood-shift and quickly access the nourishment she needs when the storm clouds need shaking.
Remember: We thrive on nourishment, not punishment.
If you’re ready to get to the root of what’s bringing you down and flip the switch from self-judgement to joy, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- How to show up when you’re heart is feeling heavy (4:13)
- Different expressions of joy and what it can look like (8:15)
- Gaining claritly on what’s bringing you down by asking a simple question (9:47)
- What to expect from the show in 2022 (12:29)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Listen In: The Boundary Brunch
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
The seasonal energy of this month is palpable. It’s in the crisp wintery air, the sparkling trees, and the holiday tunes that seem to start a little earlier every year. For many of us, it’s a season full of family, friends, parties, and the death of any self-control when it comes to sweets.
So, because we’re big believers in the natural rhythm of the seasons, we’re taking this final month of the year to culminate. We’re turning inward and reflecting on what we’ve learned this year.
In this episode, Karlee and co-host Anitza Martins dive deep into the reflection pool of not only this past year, but all the way back to the beginning of Karlee’s first season as an podcaster. In this heartfelt Q&A sesh, Aniza asks Karlee the real questions about what it’s like to lead an organization centered around boundary setting and thriving… and to truly lead by example.
You’ll hear what Karlee has learned about balancing work while maintaining meaningful relationships, and where she chose to draw the line early on when it came to sacrifice. She shares why the values she holds dear are seasonal and don’t need to tending 100% of the time in order to endure. Karlee and Aniza also talk about letting go of the pressure to “do it all”, and why it can be so satisfying to pass the keys to the drivers seat to the experts while you settle into the passenger side.
If you’re ready to pause, reflect and settle a little deeper into culmination season, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Why we’re talking about pleasure and meaning this month (1:33)
- Karlee’s culmination: lessons learned and from whom (3:02)
- Why all values have their season (7:54)
- The relief in letting someone else be the expert (9:50)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Ep. 109: Are You Self-Stingy? How to stop skimping on your needs and receive the resources to THRIVE.
Listen In: The Boundary Brunch
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
This time of the year is all about going inward and allowing yourself some pre-holiday social rest. Chilly hints from Northern Hemisphere skies in the form of snow days and icicles are a literal permission slip to stay home, get cozy, and reflect.
So, what have we been reflecting on?
A whole year of boundary practice: Are we setting enough of them? Are we letting fear get in the way? How can we set more of them? What if my boundaries make people mad?
Know this: A boundary is a contract between you and you; between yourself and what you value. If the boundary you’ve created isn’t respected, even if someone gets upset, their reaction is their decision...and their reaction is usually not your responsibility to manage.
Over time, we know that relationships change. The ones that don’t hold water anymore will shift currents. And that’s how the river keeps moving forward, past all of the fallen trees and boulders that might try to impede its progress.
In this episode, Karlee and this month’s co-host Anitza Martins are offering up another bite-sized portion of audio dark chocolate for your listening pleasure. And this week, it’s Boundary-flavored...our favorite!
Today, you’ll hear why boundary-setting can sometimes create conflict, and how you can handle that disharmony in a healthy, meaningful way. They’ll talk about processing the real information that’s wrapped up in other people’s emotional responses, and why it’s perfectly ok to give yourself permission to walk away.
Thriving is all about setting the boundaries you need, maintaining them, and making sure that the current you’re rolling with is made up of people who are supporting you in being and finding your best self.
If you’re ready to stop fearing the boundary reactions of others and create the environment you need in order to thrive, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- How to overcome your boundary-based fears (2:42)
- The messaging wrapped within other people’s responses to our boundaries (4:01)
- Separating the reasonable from the unreasonable (7:40)
- The joy of not doing things you don’t wanna do anymore (10:05)
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Dr. Valerie Rein
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
We go through life doing a whole lotta things that we don’t really want to do.
Laundry. Homework. “Work”-work. Taxes.
Ok, so those things you actually do have to do.
But, what about those other things you sort of just fall into doing or being responsible for?
For example, was your career path something you thought deeply about, or did you just kind of fall into a job? And do you find meaning in the work you do, or does it leave you feeling like you need to hibernate for a few days as soon as you walk out the door?
Or maybe the role you play among friends or family (“the mediator”, “the responsible one”, “the fixer” etc.) is starting to wear you out. But, you’d feel really guilty if you just stopped being that person because people need that from you, right? So, you just continue to do it anyway.
The thing is...if you really carved out the time to reflect on what actually brings you joy, you might just find a way to align that with how you want to spend your days. Your career. Your family gatherings.
In this episode, Karlee kicks off a short and sweet series with special co-host extraordinaire Anitza Martins. They’ll unpack the “equation for thriving” as defined by the field of Positive Psychology that explains what’s working for people who’ve managed to cultivate zest, joy and passion, even in tough times.
Today, you’ll hear how letting go of unwanted expectations that aren’t serving you leaves more room to discover what might serve you better. You’ll learn a doable way to find space for pleasure in your days, and how that leads to deeper meaning.
Meaning gives us purpose. And it has the power to transform the work you do, create positive changes within your relationships, and bring more joy to your human experience.
Those seeds just need space to grow.
If you’re ready to stop skimping on what brings your life meaning and gift yourself more joy, then this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- What the field of positive psychology calls the “equation for thriving” (2:53)
- What it means when “tradition lays a trap” (6:48)
- What if you struck when the iron was cold? (9:22)
- Leaning into joy, even when times are hard (13:00)
- Anticipating change and appreciating the small things (16:11)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
The Boundary Academy
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Suzy Banks Baum
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
If you find yourself in the middle of a story, having to make some decisions because one area of your career or health or relationships is shifting, then this is the episode for you.
As a busy, high-achieving woman in this world, you’re well-accustomed to a tight calendar. As much as you pack into those little boxes, it’s still hard to say “no” when your boss, family, social circle, or anyone else asks you to fit just one more thing in there.
Like an overstuffed suitcase, you just keep trying to squeeze in an extra pair of pants here, another cozy cardigan there…until you have to sit on top of it just to get the zipper closed.
And at the end of every overstuffed month, you ask yourself: “Is this how it’s always gonna feel?”
Well, here’s a thought… What if you just said “no”?
What if you took control of your calendar and carved out regular, intentional breathing room…what might that space feel like?
Daring to pause, to be intentional, and to refill your cup isn’t selfish. It’s actually generous.
When you’re able to show up more nourished and rested, you come through in a better headspace and with a fuller heart. And harnessing that presence and authenticity is one of the most generous things you can do for others, whether it’s your boss, your co-workers, your partner, your friends, or your kids.
In this episode, Karlee welcomes the founder of Corporate Escape Artist, Caroline Castrillon. After 25 years of corporate success in leadership roles with Fortune 500 companies like Dell and Sony, Caroline made the leap towards entrepreneurship. Today, her company helps successful, driven women who are stuck in the daily grind of too much work and helps them carve out more time to pause and find nourishment. She is a contributor to Forbes and Thrive Global and has been featured in publications including the New York Times, Entrepreneur, Inc., and Success Magazine.
Today, you’ll hear what drove Caroline to defect from the always busy corporate career ladder in order to harness more control over her life, and how she’s helping others do the same. She points out the importance of getting comfortable with fear being present when you’re flirting with the idea of change, but you’re afraid to take the leap. She also talks about the importance of cultivating a “no” practice, and how to use that untapped power to redirect your days, months, and ultimately, change the direction of your life.
Or, in Caroline’s own words, how to go from “soul-sucking jobs to career fulfillment”.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
The “taboo” things women should be talking more about (7:12)
Why we have to get comfortable with fear and keep moving ahead (9:56)
Recognizing the power you have to direct your life (16:57)
Cultivating a “no” practice (25:09)
The one thing you have to know before making a meaningful transition (34:18)
How gaining clarity over your life shifts your mental state and ripples outward (47:18)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Article: Castrillon, C. (2021, July 18). This is how to transition from manager to leader. Forbes. Retrieved November 23, 2021
Connect with Caroline Castrillon:
Corporate Escape Artist
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Ever wonder how your relationship with money is connected to your relationship with your power? And why many women have mixed, often negative, feelings around money (no matter how much is in their bank account)?
Sometimes there’s shame, guilt, struggle, or a lack of financial clarity and that messes with our mojo.
Here’s the deal: If you’re feeling unclear or lacking power around money, that lack of unclarity or lack of power can seep into other areas of your life, too.
In this episode, Karlee rewinds back to some very important money talk. In the realm of overwhelm, money tension can feel like a grey cloud that just hovers above us, and we don’t always give it the attention it needs. But that attention is the only way to brighten it up and get out from under its shadow. She talks about the cyclical nature of money and how you can maximize your relationship with it in each season.
If you’re ready to take the simple, doable, tailored-for-you steps that’ll have you feeling more empowered, clear, and confident about your financial game, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- How to start removing fear around making money. (17:53)
- One doable practice to start improving your relationship with money. (23:59)
- About the four cyclical seasons of money. (24:58)
- How tracking your expenses and income can be super simple and impactful for your money game. (26:40)
- What a bold money goal looks like for you. (33:00)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Money Is My Friend by Phil Laut
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
With a busy schedule running your life, finding both the time and space to breathe, create, and take care of yourself might seem…frivolous.
Like something you can just think about tomorrow. Or, the next day. Or, the next day.
The next time you find yourself in that go-go-go pattern, what would it feel like if you dared to pause, instead of putting it off until tomorrow?
What if you stopped to ask your body what it was trying to communicate in that moment?
Here’s the truth you may have been ignoring: your body is trying to communicate with you, and it is possible to use that as a professional strategy.
Learning how to listen to your body can actually guide you toward some of your biggest wins. It can also urge you not to do something in the form of a headache coming on, tightness in your shoulders and neck, or just a general feeling of overwhelm.
This week, Karlee reconnects us with some powerful body talk with guest Suzi Banks Baum: a woman masterful at interpreting the language of the body. Suzi is a writer and book artist with an admirable devotion to her daily creative practice. Throughout the conversation, Suzi shares how her creative practices help her stay solid even when everything feels chaotic around her, how she learned to cultivate these practices, and how listening to her body’s information has guided her over the years.
If you find yourself wanting more space for yourself throughout your day, or the room to be creative, or if you’re feeling worried about what the next right step for you is, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- How Suzi stays solid amidst the chaos of life’s changes (15:42)
- How to know when it’s time to modify your business (18:36)
- What body-knowing feels like (21:54)
- How creative practices help you gain a greater understanding of your interior orientation (36:18)
- How ritual can help you begin cultivating a creative practice (45:33)
- How making time for herself helped Suzi take back her freedom and agency (1:04:36)
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Nancy Levin
Judy Chicago
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 32: Curing the Knee-Jerk “Yes” with Nancy Levin
The Dinner Party by Judy Chicago
Camp in a Care Package
Connect with Suzi Banks Baum:
Website
Connect With Karlee:
Website
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
The holidays are about to envelop us in a way that feels extra sweet. This year marks 2 years since the word “pandemic” became a part of our daily lexicon.
The holiday season hasn’t felt normal for a while, which might mean that the pressure around it feels more emotionally intense than usual. Maybe there’s pressure to make up for lost time, coupled with a desire to make sure things are just absolutely perfect for everyone. From gifts to making and sharing great food, to how you choose to spend your time, there’s so much pressure to make sure that everything you do makes everyone else happy.
But what about you?
Before we get into the thick of holiday dinners and gatherings and gift-giving, it’s important to figure out how to include yourself on the list of people you during this (or any) busy time.
You deserve a moment to create a doable framework around the holidays that is life-giving for you.
Continuing our month-long revisit on the topic of overwhelm, Karlee taps back into the wisdom of Dr. Maria Sirois. In a timely message before we enter the holiday season, she dives deep into how we can continue to care for ourselves through these busy months, and any other “full” phases we might encounter in our lives.
This notion of “self-care” is no longer just about getting enough sleep and going to the gym a few times a week. It’s all about knowing how to deal with challenging people in challenging circumstances…and in challenging times. Maria outlines beautifully how to make a really small—but hugely transformative—shift in our fullest times so that we still get to experience what we want more of in our life.
If you’re ready to remember the importance of self and create pathways for your own nourishment this holiday season, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- How to take a pause and ask a life-giving question to create openness within yourself (16:17)
- The three-step framework to guide you through the holidays (24:41)
- What Maria has learned about navigating the holidays (26:32)
- How to take the pressure off of giving the perfect gifts (30:12)
- How to consciously craft the holidays in a way that gives you life (32:44)
- Giving yourself permission to reframe stress-inducing holiday rituals (43:10)
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Maria Sirois’ Website
Contact Maria Sirois
Job Crafting – Amy Wrzesniewski on creating meaning in your own work
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
When change happens, it can be an unsettling time. The world around us has changed as a result of COVID-19. By now, we’re all used to taking precautions every time we leave the house. We pack masks and hand-sanitizer and what we need to stay safe.
But there’s also this reckoning that’s seeping in. We’ve gone from “How long is this gonna last?” to “Ok, guess this is life now.”
And the realization that these changes are now an all-the-time thing, well, that can leave us feeling a little (or a lot) overwhelmed.
Now that we know there’s no going back, we’ve got to learn to adapt. We have to find our balance again.
So, how do we learn to support and steady ourselves in this new version of the world?
We go deeper. We find focus. And, we look for ways to simplify.
Today,Karlee kicks off a month of episodes revisiting the topic of overwhelm, offering valuable moments of reflection as you look back to when the world changed for us all. First, she shares the antidote to the feelings of overwhelm that you might be experiencing right now. She explains how establishing rituals and routines can keep you feeling grounded, even when everything else seems uncertain. Then, she shares a self-sourced guided visualization to reconnect you with your voice, your truth, and your life.
If you’re ready to incorporate the rituals and routines that will keep you grounded - even when life gets shaken up - so that you can regain your balance amidst uncertainty, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- How focus functions as the antidote to fear (13:49)
- Why we feel off-balance amidst rapid change (18:31)
- How to find rituals that ground you and create stability in your life (19:15)
- How you can be in charge of many parts of the way your day unfolds (23:59)
- A self-sourced truth visualization tool (26:50)
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Episode 6: Feeling The Holiday Stress? Here's a framework for more ease during full times
Episode 35: Trust Your Knowing: How Women Rise From Doubt to Leading Themselves Forward with Suzi Banks Baum
Episode 13: Making Money Moves: Upgrading Your Finances & Personal Power
PJ Podcast Gathering
Episode 19: Sht just hit the fan*
Connect With Karlee:
Website
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
If you’re a human on this planet, you’ve likely found yourself in a situation or two where you’ve felt like an outsider.
That feeling can inspire us to conform so that we fit the mold and gain acceptance. Or, it can push us further inward towards isolation.
Either way, if we’re not experiencing deep bonds of acceptance that are based on who we really are, then whether we’re surrounded by “friends” or quietly tucked away in the shadows, we still feel alone.
As adults in the world, just like when we were kids on the playground, we’re always trying to fit in and find our tribes. The search for connection and community never stops.
That’s because we, like the rest of nature, are in a constant state of evolution.
So, we should expect that our friendships, relationships, and the type of work we do will evolve, too.
Whether it’s feeling alone in a sea of people or standing apart like a wallflower, the path to real connection is laid by leaning deeper into who we are.
In this episode, Karlee explains why the concept of “fitting in” is more of an attempt to mold ourselves into being someone we just aren’t, and why instead, we should be expanding in order to find “our people”. She lays out the levels of friendship that we experience in various aspects of our lives, and invites you to consider which ones are continuing to nourish you and which ones it might be ok to loosen your grip on in order to create space for evolution. She’ll also share 4 important questions you can ask yourself if you need a little push to help you move into what’s next.
If you’re ready to invite more authentic, nourishing connections into your life, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- 2 essential reasons why quitting is sometimes necessary (3:22)
- Learning to expand rather than trying to fit in (8:42)
- An example of the 3rd level communication that goes into making this podcast (15:37)
- Evaluating how you experience the 4 levels of friendship (20:28)
- 4 questions that will help you move ahead into what’s next (25:32)
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Suzanne Degges-White Ph.D.
Dana Lemay
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
**Episode: 3 Styles of professional communication?
Article: Psychology Today. 2021. How Many Friends Do You Really Need in Adulthood?. [online] Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifetime-connections/201908/how-many-friends-do-you-really-need-in-adulthood [Accessed 19 October 2021].
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Do you feel like you’re around people all the time but you never really feel connected?
Maybe those “only-one” thoughts start to creep in…
“People just don’t get me.”
“Everyone is more qualified than I am.”
“If I want this done, right, I've got to do it myself.”
And coming up behind all of that solitary contemplation, you think “ Gosh, this would be so much easier if I just had a little support.”
If this rings true for you, whether it’s among friends or family, in your neighborhood or your workplace, know that you’re not the only one who feels like the only one.
Community is vital. It’s what makes our experience in this world so enjoyable because it gives us the ability to be open and to share. We want to belong. Without it, we feel isolated.
So, how do we learn how to “belong”?
The key to belonging lies within our own willingness to present ourselves as we are. The path to self-acceptance is through vulnerability.
“We often try to acquire it by fitting in and by seeking approval, which are not only hollow substitutes for belonging, but often barriers to it. Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world. Our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.”
-Brene Brown
In this episode, Karlee shares the most common thoughts that high-achieving women experience around solitary, “only-one” thinking. She explains how these thoughts actually exacerbate our feelings of isolation, and why we’re never really the only one in the room feeling the way we feel. You’ll learn why belonging requires vulnerability within yourself first, and how you can find and embrace community in a rather unconventional way through a surprisingly simple activity.
If you find yourself in the room, know this: You deserve to be there, you need to be there, and they need you. You are bringing something, and you belong.
The only thing missing is you believing it.
If you’re ready to embrace self-acceptance and vulnerability to finally open your gateway to connection, then this episode is for you.
People Mentioned:
Brene Brown
Douglas Carlton Abrams
Chitra Aiyar
Resources Mentioned:
The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World
TED Talk: How to Build Community When You Feel Isolated
Brené Brown on True Belonging | UPLIFT. (2021). Retrieved 13 October 2021
Connect With Karlee:
Website
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
When you hear about a brave woman who has set a boundary, do you sometimes think “Well, she can do that, but that would never fly with my family,” or “Gosh, I’d love to be able to say that but in my culture, it would come off as offensive.”
So, rather than rock the boat, you pack that boundary-thought away in the hopes that someday, you’ll unpack it again after discovering a different way to deliver it.
Well, that day is today.
Culture plays a huge role in our experience of boundaries - so today we dig a little deeper to understand the origins of your psychology around boundaries.
Because boundaries aren’t about offending anyone, particularly people you care about.
They’re simply a means of communicating your needs to others in a way that draws them in.
In this episode, Karlee welcomes an expert in the realm of positive psychology and wellbeing, Dr. Senem Eren. Dr. Eren has been a researcher and psychologist for the past 17 years, focusing specifically on supporting and empowering women to exceed in their entrepreneurial goals without sacrificing their health, well-being, or happiness. She’s a co-founder and board member of the Center for Muslim Wellbeing in Australia, and an adjunct professor at Ibn Haldun University in Turkey.
Today, you’ll gain an understanding of when, where, and how the boundaries we create (or don’t create) intersect with our respective cultures. You’ll learn why it’s so important to recognize boundaries within the context of the cultures we’re born into, and the micro-cultures we’re raised within, in order to comprehend how we view boundary-setting, and our comfort levels when it comes to asking for help.
If you’re ready to recognize that doin’ it all on your own isn’t worth the energy and you’re ready for a better way, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- How the boundaries we’re born into shape who we become (10:55)
- Why it’s never too late to repair past mistakes (21:01)
- How individualist versus collectivist cultures shape our boundary styles (24:45)
- A new way to look at boundaries (32:47)
- What to expect when you’re setting a challenging boundary (39:41)
Connect with Dr. Senem Eren:
Ibn Haldun University
Boundaries for wellbeing | Dr. Senem Eren | TEDxDocklands
People Mentioned:
Meredith Brisson
Geert Hofstede
Nancy Levin
Resources Mentioned:
Website: Native Land
Connect With Karlee:
Website
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
How many great ideas have you had throughout your lifetime?
The kind that come about so suddenly that you feel their energy pulse through your body with so much intensity that it wakes you up and makes you want to move ASAP?
And...how many of those have you actually followed through on?
If there’s some disparity between idea generation and follow-through, you’re not alone.
And this isn’t a guilt trip.
There’s a reason why so many of those ideas didn’t make it to fruition.
What if I told you it wasn’t your lack of energy or ambition…
It was about your lack of community.
You see, follow-through takes two important things: nourishment and community.
If you want to start something new, you have to start by asking yourself one question:
“What do I need in order to make showing up for this possible?”
In this special 100th episode of Messy & Magnificent, Karlee launches a month-long series delivering the potent power of community to your door. She uncovers what community really is and why it's so important in our lives, not only for emotional support but also as the force behind getting things done. She shares four incredible benefits of belonging to a community, and the five types of community that every woman should belong to, in some capacity.
That whole “If I want it done right I've got to do it myself” mentality will only get us so far before we start to feel stuck. Moving to the next stage requires support.
We thrive in community, and it’s time we recognize the role it plays in our success.
If you’re ready to find your ideal community and reap the benefits of connection, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- The phenomenon of popular isolation (5:32)
- How the power of community helps us get things done (7:59)
- What the word community really means (21:27)
- The long-term benefits of friendships and community (23:29)
- The five types of community and why they’re beneficial (25:52)
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Dr. Tom Steding
Maria Sorios
Kate Northrup
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 57: Trying To Do It All Yourself? How smart leaders stop being the hero and start building emotional integrity with Tom Steding
Study: Brigham Young University. "Relationships improve your odds of survival by 50 percent, research finds." ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 28 July 2010.
Episode 76: Just Thrown A Curveball?! The specifics of how my company builds something new and revamps after our plans are foiled.
VIDEO: The Boundary Brunch
Episode 49: Masterful Storytelling: How to Share Your Stories to Transform and Engage with Others with Dr. Maria Sirois
Book: You Have the Power: Choosing Courage in a Culture of Fear by Frances Moore Lappe Jeffrey Perkins
Article:What Is Community, and Why Is It Important? Featuring Riché C. Zamor
Episode 2: Nobody really gets you? How to upgrade your adult relationships
Article: 3 Ways To Benefit From Involvement In Your Community by Anne-Marie Faiola
Study: University of Notre Dame. "Your circle of friends is more predictive of your health, study finds." ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 17 June 2019.
List: The 5 Types of Community from Feverbee
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Raise your hand if you’ve ever thought the following:
I really don’t have time, but I don’t want to upset anyone. I’ll just do it.
My culture doesn’t “get” boundaries, so I have to be available when family comes knocking.
I’m a born workaholic. There’s never time for self-care. How would I even fit that in to my day?
While our needs to work people please can tie our emotions up in knots, the truth is that each one of those thoughts is actually an invitation.
A nudge from your internal compass that’s trying to point you in the direction of setting a boundary.
Boundaries aren’t walls you’re setting up to keep other people from crossing over. They’re bridges you’re building within to create more ease for yourself.
Boundaries may be the source of all conflict, but they’re also the foundation of all well-being.
Today, Karlee welcomes bonafide “Boundary Queen” Sarri Gilman to the show. Sarri has spent 30 years working as a Psychotherapist who specializes in helping folks set the boundaries they need to implement at the family level. Her decades-long research in this specific area has shown her the full boundary-making process that people experience as they start to become their own boundary experts.
In this episode, you’ll hear about the process of boundary-making, and how long on average it takes to actually implement a boundary for most people. She shares a personal boundary story of her own about letting go and moving forward when solace was calling her somewhere new. Finally, she’ll explain the fundamental link between self-trust and good decision-making that’ll help you make confidence-backed choices with greater ease.
If you’re ready to honor your inner compass and gift yourself the boundaries being called for in your life, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Why boundaries need encouragement (13:10)
- Restoring the trust in your own compass (17:32)
- A powerful boundary breakthrough moment (21:35)
- How to think about resilience in times of trauma (36:06)
- Cultivating a pattern of self-care (40:58)
- Creating boundary clarity with family members (43:55)
- Emotionally prepping for a boundary fallout (50:38)
- How long it takes to become a boundary expert (57:57)
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Dr. Tom Steding
Catherine Panter-Brick
Nancy Levin
Connect with Sarri Gilman:
Sarrigillman.com
Get 20% off Now: Transform Your Boundaries Six Course Bundle
Code: FRIENDSOFSARRI
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
RSVP FOR THE FREE BOUNDARY PANEL: September 20th, 7pm EST
Book: Transform Your Boundaries by Sarri Gilman
Book: The Mystery of Knowing Journal: A writing odyssey to be true to who you are by Sarri Gilman and Tasha Rockowitz
Book: Naming and Taming Overwhelm: For Healthcare and Human Service Providers by Sarri Gilman
TEDx Talk: Good boundaries free you | Sarri Gilman
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
What if I get push back when I tell my boss I’m not available to work weekends anymore?
What if they're disappointed? Will they think I’m not committed enough?
If this cycle sounds familiar, then no doubt you’ve been dancing the “boundary back & forth”.
That’s the emotional and psychological dance craze that we inflict upon ourselves when we’re trying to game-plan someone else’s behavior before we set a boundary.
But spending your sweet time overthinking, doubting, and perfecting how your boundary lands...well, it’s just not doing you any good.
Our emotional barometer gets really high around the idea of setting boundaries. We tend to add fear and anxiety to the already significant burden we’re trying to unload.
But, hey…there’s an easier way.
Today, Karlee welcomes back boundary pro Dana Lemay. As the Head of School for the Boundary Academy, Dana is a verifiable expert on knowing when a boundary is necessary, and actually putting it into action. Her One-Minute Minimalist program helps other women declutter their lives to lead a more values-driven life experience.
In this episode, you’ll get a behind-the-scenes listen to the collective wisdom of the women behind the Boundary Academy. This school wasn’t built in your typical hierarchical manner. Instead, it’s become a sharing community that constantly flips the script on who’s the teacher and who’s the student. And that’s led to a lot of rich and unexpected surprises.
You’ll hear from Karlee and Dana about what it's been like to launch The Boundary Academy, and the real-life questions women upgrading their boundaries are asking. You’ll learn how to
get off the emotional roller coaster when you need to set boundaries and feel more grounded, centered, and clear about what you need and how to achieve it.
If you’re ready to finally unburden yourself from carrying the weight of the world and do a lot less heavy lifting in your day, on your job, and in your social circles, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Why OPP’s, or Other People’s Opinions, aren’t going to be your catalyst for change (0:57)
- What it means when you feel discomfort about setting boundaries (9:20)
- Why setting boundaries isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach (13:37)
- Shifting our expectations of being everything all the time to being enough (25:56)
- How you can be a part of the boundary conversation and stay connected (32:13)
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Nancy Levin
Connect with Dana Lemay:
dana-lemay.com
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
RSVP FOR THE FREE BOUNDARY PANEL: September 20th, 7pm EST
Episode 27: The Formula For Making Great Choices: Especially when everyone has an opinion about it what you should be doing.
Book: Real Teams Win: What Smart Leaders Need to Know Now about Achieving Peak Performance by Thomas L. Steading
Episode 57: Trying To Do It All Yourself? How smart leaders stop being the hero and start building emotional integrity with Tom Steding
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Your partner has had a tough week at work, so you stayed up late (even though you have an early conference call) baking their favorite cookies before sneaking them into a little heart-shaped box.
Your best girlfriend is having relationship woes...again. So you put down the novel you’ve been waiting to read all day so that you can be there for her, on the other end of the phone.
Your boss needs you to be available Saturday to onboard a new client, so you reluctantly bow out of the picnic your new neighbors invited you to join that afternoon.
You know there’s nothing you love better than a good night’s sleep, a great book, and getting outside.
But this week, you’re not getting any of it.
It’s true that we can’t control what happens outside of ourselves.
But we can control what happens within ourselves.
And conversations about boundaries start within ourselves.
Today, Karlee welcomes Dana Lemay, the Head of School for the Boundary Academy. Dana is a real-life boundary pro who courageously left her “looks good on paper” career to find a life that represented more of what really mattered to her. In 2019, she founded the One-Minute Minimalist to help other women declutter the unnecessary and embark upon a more values-driven life experience.
In this episode, you’ll learn how to discern whether a decision you’re making is being guided by your head or your heart. You’ll understand why that knowledge holds an important clue in pointing to where boundaries need to be drawn. And most importantly, you’ll learn how to set the emotional boundaries that need setting within your work, your family circles, and your friends.
Boundaries matter because it’s within that space where we’re able to nourish ourselves.
If you’re ready to learn how how to engage more of your internal resources so that you don't get stuck in a cycle of self-doubt, worry, or always saying “yes”, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- What it feels like to lead with your heart (14:02)
- The physical sensation of a boundary being crossed (15:36)
- Our human discomfort of not being in control (19:42)
- Why rest takes courage (25:10)
- How to be a one-minute minimalist (30:46)
- One simple way to declutter your schedule right now (39:19)
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Nancy Levin
Connect with Dana Lemay:
dana-lemay.com
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
RSVP FOR THE FREE BOUNDARY PANEL: September 20th, 7pm EST
Episode 15: Building the Habit of Courage: How to stop enduring what drains you with Dana Lemay
Episode 32: Curing the Knee Jerk “Yes”: Doable Boundaries That Will Set You Free with Nancy Levin
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
You’ve been working with seamless efficiency all day to make sure you’re out the office door no later than 5:15 today.
You’re rockin’ it ‘cause you’ve got plans.
A hot date. Your kid’s first piano recital. A full-body massage you’ve been looking forward to for weeks.
But, just as you’re packing up to leave, your boss walks through the door with an urgent request. It’ll mean canceling your plans.
It’s not like you’re surprised...she does it all the time.
So, what do you do?
You love your job but you’re really tired of making plans only to have your excitement pummeled at the last minute.
“Help!!!!!” you think to yourself in desperation.
Then, out of nowhere, your hero Boundary Babe swoops in to save the day! Time stops as your boss stands waiting at the door for an answer.
“You called?” she says, outfitted in her shimmery lycra with a “B” emblazoned on the lapel of her cape.
“I didn’t realize it, but yea...I need to set a boundary here!” you say, exasperated and relieved.
Ahhhh, if only it were as simple as calling on a superhero...
But, you wanna know a secret?
Setting boundaries doesn’t require superpowers. And they’re easier than you might think.
In this week’s episode, Karlee introduces a month of boundary breakthroughs that’ll help you rescue yourself from the need to be all things to all people- especially in the workplace. She’ll help you identify where boundaries might be missing in your work relationships, and give you a simple set of questions to ask yourself so that you can aptly identify the kind of boundary that’s being called for.
Boundaries are the bridge between you and what it is that you value. If there’s something keeping those things apart, then it’s time to talk about bridging the gap.
If you’re ready to shed the resentment, conquer the fatigue, do away with underappreciation, and stop over-committing yourself, then this boundary-setting episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Are you an emotional octopus? (1:18)
- Two questions to ask yourself to frame your boundary before you create it (12:41)
- Signs of a psychologically safe workplace (15:38)
- What boundaries don’t do (20:39)
- A real-world example of setting a workplace boundary (21:02)
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Dana LeMay
Sarri Gilman
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
RSVP FOR THE BOUNDARY PANEL: September 20th, 7pm EST
Episode 67: Boundaries Go Both Ways: How to Unearth Your Boundary Questions and Be an Ally to the World
Episode 66: Boundary Bravery: How Women are Giving Themselves Permission to Set Boundaries with Amy Ziegert
Episode 65: Feel Like Your Life Isn’t Your Own? How Women Are Building Bridges and Setting Boundaries Like a Boss
Episode 32: Curing the Knee Jerk “Yes”: Doable Boundaries That Will Set You Free with Nancy Levin
Episode 30: Reclaiming Your Time: The 3 “B-words” That Give Women Back Their Time and Energy
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
You’ve read self-help book after self-help book, but you’re still not feeling like you’re truly enough. Those hollow investments look great on the bookshelves, but you’re seeking more meaningful change. You’re ripe for reinvention, but where do you even start?
Well, maybe the problem isn’t actually you. Maybe it’s the messaging...
If you are a human woman on planet earth, chances are you’ve been surrounded by messages telling you that you aren’t enough. It’s a smog that you unconsciously inhale each day; it influences your mind, body, and interactions with the world around you.
In this throwback episode, Karlee and Anitza revisit a simple 3-part process that’ll help you discover what “good enough” looks like in your world. You’ll get clear on what you really value and unlock the energy you’ve been missing to get to all the things that are most important to you. This isn’t a one-time fix-all solution, but a framework that will guide you to realign your actions with your values and combat smog-messaging along the way.
If you’re ready to get clear on your values, start enjoying the present moment, and recognize that you’re already enough, then this episode is for you.
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- When you have it all but it still doesn’t fell like enough (6:45)
- Smog messaging: why women constantly feel like they’re never enough (15:37)
- How your body communicates vital information about what’s true, what’s enough, and what works for you (19:42)
- 3 Steps to Lasting Fulfillment (27:45)
- The secret sauce that allows women to thrive in their careers, life, and health (39:25)
- How you know it’s time to start getting clear on your values (43:29)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Episode 91: Walking Our Talk: Cultivating A Productive Downtime Habit
Episode 28: Never Enough? How Driven Women Cultivate Lasting Fulfillment
Book:The Grocery Store Adventure Guide by Karlee Fain
Get the FREE 3 Pillars of Lasting Feminine Fulfillment” Master Sheet HERE
People Mentioned in This Episode:
Kate Northrup
Terry Tempest Williams
Glennon Doyle
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Why can't I keep up with everyone else?
Why don't I have the energy or the answers yet?
Am I missing out on an opportunity, or is it just going to put me even further behind?
If any of these thoughts sound relatable, you could be comparing yourself to a single way of working and living. The one that’s become our cultural norm. The one that’s frankly just not working.
If all of that grind and hustle got you a life that looks great on paper – but it’s leaving you feeling stuck, drained, and unsatisfied at the end of the day, then something is off. This is an indicator that the way society expects you to run your business and your life doesn’t fit. And that’s okay.
It’s also okay not to have all the answers right now. You aren't exhausted because something is wrong with you. You’re exhausted because something is right with you.
You see, we’ve been taught one way to operate in work and life: aggressively and immediately.
But as more women occupy seats at the table, it’s become apparent that this way isn’t sustainable for anyone.
The women who are truly thriving in our modern economy are the ones who are doing things a little differently.
In this episode, Karlee breaks down the origins of “hustle culture” and "sperm wisdom", and explains why they’re biologically unsustainable in today’s world. She passes down the concept of “egg wisdom” and talks about what it means to operate on a different, less anxious timeline. You’ll hear doable strategies to help shift your mindset and expectations of yourself, your work, and your business.
If you’re ready to start living in a way that truly works for YOU in our modern economy, then this episode is for you!
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- Why veering off track is often exactly what you need (2:50)
- When it’s ok to take your time before making a decision (10:12)
- The cyclical and selective nature of working and living in the world (14:31)
- Why it’s okay to not always know the answer (21:47)
- Red flags that say what was is not working for you (23:11)
- How daring to be “you” puts your train back in motion (30:35)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Episode 25: Feeling Stuck or Exhausted? Great, There Is Something Right With You
Book: Do Less: A Revolutionary Approach to Time and Energy Management for Ambitious Women by Kate Northrup
Episode 3: Phases of Growth
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Two words...
Authenticity & Vulnerability.
When Messy & Magnificent first hit the airwaves, these values are what Karlee felt needed to be front and center. They would come through in every breath, every episode, every fit of laughter, and every heartfelt expression of empathy.
This was what we needed more of in the world then. And a pretty rough year and some change later, this secret sauce is what continues to make us stand out.
Living into our ideals. Walking our talk. Practicing what we’re preachin’. Being authentically, vulnerably, unapologetically ourselves.
So, how do we do it? How do we continue to grow, elevate our message, and stand out from the crowd?
We keep digging deeper, sharing more authentically, and wholly supporting this growing community that we’ve created together.
Today, Karlee and Anitza open with a reflection on where we’ve been, what we’ve learned, and where we are today. Then, we travel back to one of our earliest episodes where listeners asked deep, juicy questions about how Karlee manages her work & life, and the mindset that helps her embody those ideals. This is a deep dive into how to run a successful business, find real work/life balance, learn from mistakes, and rise authentically.
If you’re ready to learn how you can approach your life and business with more authenticity and more nourisment, then this episode is for you!
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Getting to the heart of why we reach for social media (3:50)
- The embodiment of a real leader (12:27)
- When the puzzle pieces of your experience finally start fitting together (15:44)
- Why personal nourishment should be a fundamental part of your business (22:02)
- How Karlee manages her schedule and stays on track (36:17)
- Switching from being driven by motivation to being driven by devotion (42:02)
- How to foster authenticity and engagement through social media (50:07)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Episode 91: Walking Our Talk: Cultivating A Productive Downtime Habit
Episode 9: I Answer Your Juiciest Questions About How I Run My Business and My Mental Game
Reclaiming Time Studio
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
It’s Friday night, and you just walked in the door. You kick off those uncomfortable shoes, change into your PJ’s, and you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. Staring back at you is a worn-out woman. She’s got bags under her eyes, her energy seems depleted...and has that pensive line on her forehead always been there?
“Enough”, you say to yourself. Time for some self-care.
You open up the bathroom cabinet and sift through your stash of sheet masks. You grab a cucumber from the fridge and place two cool slices over your eyes. You cue up some meditative nature sounds on Spotify and stretch your tired body out across the couch.
Those juicy masks and self-care moments are a-ok, but the truth is that real nourishment, the kind that fills you up internally, the nourishment that your reflection in the mirror is really asking for...well, that doesn’t come from home spa treatments.
Your body is telling you that it requires more resources.
This has been a wild year for everyone. We’ve been really busy trying to rewire our habits and problem solve under pandemic conditions. But, have we given ourselves the time we need to allow our thoughts, emotions, and mental game to catch up to our physical bodies?
Probably not. Or maybe just not enough.
It’s time for you to fill up the tank of your internal resources and reconnect with your professional groove.
It’s nourishment season.
Where do we find nourishment, if it’s not in those home spa treatments? True human nourishment exists in the everyday things. Those small (but big!) things that we do to make ourselves just a little bit healthier and happier.
Today, Karlee is joined again by Anitza Martins to revisit what it means to seek nourishment, and how to know when you need it. You’ll discover the four pillars of being a fully resourced career woman, and how you can reconnect with your natural rhythms and cycles to find that lasting, authentic, soul-satisfying nourishment that you’ve been craving.
If you’re ready to reconnect with a more natural rhythm and nourish your being from the inside out, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- How our career needs change through different life stages (1:57)
- Why aiming for doing 3% better is enough (4:15)
- 3 reasons why now is the time to refuel professionally (7:48)
- A deeper definition of nourishment (12:03)
- The Four Pillars of a more fully resourced career woman (20:43)
- Why tending to beauty is essential (31:52)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Episode 91: Walking Our Talk: Cultivating A Productive Downtime Habit
Episode 69: Out of Sync? How Wise Women are Receiving Nourishment
Episode 3: Done Burning Out? The 4 phases of growth and sustaining success
Episode 41: Is Your Work Mojo Down? Here’s 4 Types of Nourishment for the Soul Of Your Career
Episode 35: Trust Your Knowing: How Women Rise From Doubt to Leading Themselves Forward with Suzi Banks Baum
Website: Native Land
Video: TED Talk, Theaster Gates: How to Revive a Neighborhood with Imagination, Beauty, and Art
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Raise your hand if you get enough downtime in your days? Your weeks, months, or years?
We’ve been covering the topic of rest, or what we like to call “productive downtime”, throughout the month of July.
Now, it’s time to walk our talk.
Rather than put new episodes together for August, we’re doin’ the backstroke to dig a little deeper into a select handful of past episodes that really dial in on what it means to pause.
So, if the past few episodes about incorporating more rest, reflection, and productive downtime have been resonating with you, then August might just be your moment to start baking in the practice of rest into your regular routine, too.
When we talk about being successful, both as humans and in our professional work, we usually refer to climbing some sort of proverbial ladder. Whether it’s a corporate or an entrepreneurial ladder, we all want to keep going up.
But if we’re in a constant state of “up”, we miss out on all the in between.
There’s value in the in between. If you don’t take the time to pause, you’re not harvesting the important insights you just worked so hard to get.
Growth isn’t actually in the shape of a ladder. It’s more like a spiral staircase. You still move upward, but with every step you take up, culmination invites you to circle back and reflect upon the wisdom gained from each previous footfall.
So when we build in moments to pause, and reflect on our experiences before automatically moving on to the next thing, we can actually harvest the nourishing wisdom that we’ve worked for.
This episode an invitation to go deeper into what's working.
In this episode, Karlee weaves audience questions and comments with powerful episode clips to create rich conversations around professional sustainability. She’ll map out how you can make space for nourishment, and explains why it’s so important to pause and reflect. Leaning into the wisdom of listeners and guests, she’ll also identify what it means when we feel guilt for resting, and how that feeling can actually be a clue as to whether or not we’re truly living our values.
If you’re ready to reap the benefits of pause and create space for rest and nourishment in your life, then this episode is for you!
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- What to expect from the podcast through August (3:23)
- Why the time to consider a deeper form of nourishment is now (16:58)
- A “nourishment” refresher (18:28)
- How pros get past distractions and get time for nourishment (21:30)
- Following up (and through!) on the 5 Better Questions (29:07)
- Changing our relationship with guilt (39:05)
- How to know when you’re honoring your values (44:19)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Episode 73: The Purposeful Pause - How Women Get Colossal Results By Contracting Before We Expand
Episode 3: Done Burning Out? The 4 phases of growth and sustaining success
Episode 69: Out of Sync? How Wise Women are Receiving Nourishment
Episode 70: Thinking About Change? How We Find Focus and Make Elevated Choices
Website: David L. Cooperrider Center for Appreciative Inquiry
Master Sheet for Focus
Episode 71: Tired of Feeling Guilty? How Wise Women are Exploring Guilt and Becoming Better Leaders with Catherine Flavin
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Karen Witzig Rozell
David L. Cooperrider
Catherine Flavin
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Whatever happened to nap time?
While it may have seemed really boring when we were in kindergarten, that little bit of baked-in downtime would be pretty nice to have as a working adult.
But, time is money...right? Who has time for 10-minute meditations or lunchtime walks when our productivity is on the line?
Well, here’s something that might surprise you…
Not only is it easier than you think to make room for rest in your workday, but that rest is actually going to make you more productive, a better leader, and more charismatic in the eyes of your co-workers.
You see, there’s a difference between working hard and overworking. When we prioritize our wellbeing by creating a hospitable environment for ourselves, we stop viewing work and life as two separate things.
Therein lies the magic.
In this week’s culmination episode, Karlee circles back through some of the biggest highlights from our month of rest-seeking. She recaps the historical reasons why rest intentionally wasn’t built into our workdays and shares practical ways that you can reshape the paradigm. You’ll hear what to do if you’re feeling the need to rebound from a rest deficit, and a real-world example of how one business owner flipped the definition of hospitality to include his staff first, prioritizing their wellness to cultivate an authentically hospitable environment for employees and guests.
If you’re ready to understand the true nature of rest and start to reclaim your productive downtime, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Why self-care call-outs can rub you the wrong way (7:00)
- The difference between hard work and overworking (12:59)
- Why the patriarchal work model isn’t working (18:23)
- Respecting the cycles and seasons of our biological nature (25:54)
- The physical and emotional benefits of rest (31:49)
- The 7 types of rest (35:14)
- A better hospitality mentality (48:30)
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Saundra Dalton-Smith
Dan Pallotta
Dan Landes
Watercourse Foods
City, O’ City
Off The Bottle Refill Shop
Elissa Sangster
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 87: A History of No Rest: Why “over-working” triumphed and how we reclaim productive downtime
Episode 88: Ready To Rebound from a Rest Deficit? How Pros Get More Rest and Recovery.
Episode 89: Being Hospitable to Yourself: How to build rest and recovery into your work life with Dan Landes
Journal: “Worry Isn't Work.” Harvard Business Review, 23 July 2014, hbr.org/2010/08/worry-isnt-work.html.
Article: Elissa Sangster, “The Patriarchy Invented The 9-5 Workday. Here's How We Remake It With Women In The Room.” Forbes, Forbes Magazine, 10 Sept. 2019
Article: “What's Really Holding Women Back?” Harvard Business Review, 19 Feb. 2020, hbr.org/2020/03/whats-really-holding-women-back.
Article: “Sleep Better, Lead Better.” Harvard Business Review, 21 Aug. 2018, hbr.org/2018/09/sleep-well-lead-better.
TED Talk: MD, Saundra Dalton-Smith, et al. “The 7 Types of Rest That Every Person Needs.” Ideas.ted.com, 6 Jan. 2021, ideas.ted.com/the-7-types-of-rest-that-every-person-needs/
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
This month,we’re talking about rest.
And if you had to think of an industry that really isn’t known for promoting restful downtime, hospitality would be at the very top of that list.
Maybe you’ve lived it?
If not through a stint as a restaurant server or line cook, most of us can probably recall a job where we were pushed to our absolute limits.
We weren’t creating hospitable environments within ourselves.
Long hours, late nights, putting on a smile when all you want to do is sleep. Or cry. Or collapse from exhaustion.
But...what if it didn’t have to be that way?
It’s time for a better model.
A model that inspires us to be more gentle, accepting, and hospitable to ourselves.
In today’s episode, Karlee shares a candid conversation about what it means to create space for rest from a veteran in the industry known for hustle. Dan Landes is a Denver native who opened two iconic restaurants in the Mile High City: Watercourse Foods and City, O’ City. He believed that hospitality at its core was reciprocal. By offering opportunities for yoga, fitness, and recharge to his employees, he demonstrated that rest and balance were values he believed in.
You’ll hear how rest became a company value and why that matters, particularly in an industry that’s built around human connection. Dan explains how rest and reflection form the basis of our authenticity, how that comes through in our hospitality to others, and why including these values within our working lives is a choice. They also discuss the mindset of high achievers when it comes to risk, and share an important lesson about the value we can extract from failure.
If you’re ready to hear a real life example of what does and doesn't work in the field of rest on the job, this is the interview for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Hard won wisdom about rest (2:15)
- The definition of practicing hospitality (11:00)
- An antidote to burnout in the restaurant industry (19:26)
- Why self-care should be “baked-in” to your career (24:48)
- A different kind of activism (29:44)
- The variable weight of risk and failure (36:56)
- A question about growth and self-acceptance (42:57)
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Kate Northrup
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 87: A History of No Rest: Why “over-working” triumphed and how we reclaim productive downtime
Episode 88: Ready To Rebound from a Rest Deficit? How Pros Get More Rest and Recovery.
Watercourse Foods
City, O’ City
Off The Bottle Refill Shop
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
How would things be different if you were more rested?
I know what you’re gonna say….
“Rest? Ha! I’m busy. I just don’t have time to take naps in the middle of the day. “
But, here’s the thing: rest isn’t just about sleeping more. And it doesn’t even have to be about stillness. There’s a lot more to rest than just sitting down and taking a load off.
Rest is something we do to feed our souls and our best work.
Rest can be creative, physical, relational, sensory, spiritual….it’s not about stopping, it’s about feeding what needs to be fed.
And when you make time for the type of rest you need, the benefits are not only good for your body, but they help you work better.
In today’s episode, Karlee shares a personal story about how cultivating more rest into her routine translated into greater clarity, and ultimately more success. You’ll hear about the benefits of getting good quality rest, and how rest differs from sleep. She’ll explain the other types of rest that we incorporate into our everyday, and also touches on a fascinating angle of rest within our relationships that helps us identify connections that are serving us and those that might be draining us.
Rest isn’t lazy. In fact, it’s necessary in order for us to be our best selves and do our best work.
If you’re ready to reap the benefits of rest and renewal in your day-to-day life, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- How more rest can lead to more success (3:01)
- Knowing when rest is necessary to thrive (12:40)
- The benefits of rest (18:37)
- The 6 other types of rest that aren’t sleep (21:53)
- A common emotional drain for women that we often overlook (27:31)
- Resting in connection through our relationships with others (31:26)
- Evaluating how our relationships affect us (34:25)
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Nancy Levin
Melinda Wenner Moyer
Jennifer Soong
Saundra Dalton-Smith
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 30: Reclaiming Your Time: The 3 “B-words” That Give Women Back Their Time and Energy
Episode 32: Curing the Knee Jerk “Yes”: Doable Boundaries That Will Set You Free with Nancy Levin
REC Philly
Article: Moyer, Melinda Wenner. “The Hidden Risks of Poor Sleep in Women.” Scientific American, Scientific American, 1 Sept. 2016, www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-hidden-risks-of-poor-sleep-in-women/.
Article: Soong, Jennifer. “Sleep Loss Affects Women More Than Men.” WebMD, WebMD, www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/features/how-sleep-loss-affects-women-more-than-men.
Article: “Sleep Better, Lead Better.” Harvard Business Review, 21 Aug. 2018, hbr.org/2018/09/sleep-well-lead-better.
TED Talk: MD, Saundra Dalton-Smith, et al. “The 7 Types of Rest That Every Person Needs.” Ideas.ted.com, 6 Jan. 2021, ideas.ted.com/the-7-types-of-rest-that-every-person-needs/
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
What comes to mind when you think of rest?
Is it sipping a pina colada on a beach somewhere? Taking a hot bath, surrounded by richly scented candles? A week-long yoga retreat? Reading a book under the sun in your backyard?
Whatever rest looks like for you, there’s one thing that’s been deeply, culturally ingrained in our minds: If you want to justify time for rest, you have to earn it first.
The typical weekly ratio of work to downtime tells us that 5 days of work earn you 2 days of rest.
But, we all feel it in our bones.... That old narrative about rest just isn’t cutting it.
So why are we STILL working so hard and resting so little?
Our concept of rest comes from the puritans. It’s based around the idea that material success equates to worthiness. Historically, that belief kept people pushing towards salvation because they didn’t want to be damned.
But that’s not our world anymore. We don’t have to continue to abide by those standards.
Know this…
The problem isn’t you. It’s the structure we’ve been indoctrinated into.
In today’s episode, Karlee takes you on a little jaunt through history to uncover the roots of over-work culture. You’ll gain valuable insight into why we don’t value rest in western culture, and how we can flip our very concept of rest into something we can view more accurately as “productive downtime”. Disrupting this idea is the key to understanding not only the value of rest, but it’s also how we make it achievable- and in some cases, even profitable.
Rest allows space for creativity. It’s time to reframe our concept of downtime and place more value on recharging.
It’s time to destigmatize rest.
If you’re ready to reclaim your productive downtime and thrive more wholly in your life and career, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Knowing the difference between hard work and over-working (1:27)
- Making the stimulus + belief = response formula work for you, not against you (13:35)
- Why capitalism ties material success to worthiness (17:30)
- The link between Puritanical values and the gender and racial pay gap (19:12)
- How our work and personal lives became separate (23:43)
- Why more work doesn’t actually equal more productivity (27:02)
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Alan Watts
Keia McSwain
Max Webber
Karen Rozell
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Article: “This Column Will Change Your Life: The Protestant Work Ethic | Burkeman.” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 10 Sept. 2010, www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2010/sep/11/pain-gain-work-ethic-burkeman.
Journal: “Worry Isn't Work.” Harvard Business Review, 23 July 2014, hbr.org/2010/08/worry-isnt-work.html.
US Census Data 2019
Article: Elissa Sangster, “The Patriarchy Invented The 9-5 Workday. Here's How We Remake It With Women In The Room.” Forbes, Forbes Magazine, 10 Sept. 2019
Article: “What's Really Holding Women Back?” Harvard Business Review, 19 Feb. 2020, hbr.org/2020/03/whats-really-holding-women-back.
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
The world is filled with distractions.
Call it work, call it responsibility, call it what you want. But when we fill our days with only the things that our day planner reminds us to do, the emails that need answering, the countless text messages awaiting responses... those things take up space.
Days become crowded. And our minds become weary.
It's so deeply ingrained in us that being busy or doing more work makes us worthy because we live in a culture that values productivity.
But humans need time to recharge.
And the antidote to performance pressure comes from unexpected places.
It comes from sitting on your patio or in your garden with the sun warming your shoulders. The cool sweetness of ice cream as it melts in your mouth. Allowing your thoughts to drift away as your eyes follow a butterfly. A walk in the park. A cup of tea with a dear friend.
Experiencing the world around us brings us joy.
But lasting joy takes practice.
In this week’s culmination episode, Karlee recaps the wisdom and the science around joy. You’ll hear why joy is important for your mind and body, and the physical and emotional tolls that mount up when you’re not getting enough of it. She shares a few practical ways that you can make space for experiencing more joy in your workday, and the surprising links between joy, sorrow, success, and even self-confidence.
If you’re ready to find better balance and make more space for joy in your human experience, then this episode is for you!
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Why joy needs cultivating, rather than waiting (2:54)
- Discerning the difference between joy and happiness (19:02)
- The link between joy and self-confidence (20:48)
- Why joy matters (23:02)
- Where joy and sorrow meet (33:15)
- How your body communicates what it needs (39:24)
- Tapping into universal intelligence (44:12)
Connect with Jennifer Madriz:
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Erin Skahan
Sophie Cliff
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Book:The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World byDouglas Carlton Abrams, Desmond Tutu, Dalai Lama
Study:Martín-María, Natalia et al. “The Impact of Subjective Well-being on Mortality: A Meta-Analysis of Longitudinal Studies in the General Population.” Psychosomatic medicine vol. 79,5 (2017): 565-575. doi:10.1097/PSY.0000000000000444
Study: “Positive Intelligence.” Harvard Business Review, 8 Oct. 2014, hbr.org/2012/01/positive-intelligence.
Book: The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran
TED Talk: Where Joy Hides and Where to Find it with Ingrid Fetell Lee
Episode 1: One Word That Will Elevate Everything You Do
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
If you want it, you’ve gotta work for it. Whatever it takes. No matter the hours, no matter the sacrifice, just keep going. Keep pushing. Sleep is for the weak. More coffee. More determination.
Yea. We’ve heard it all before.
The myth that connects self-sacrifice to professional success.
We’re just not buying it anymore.
The idea that the more we give of ourselves, the more successful we’ll become. It just doesn’t add up.
That’s not a career mantra. That’s an equation for exhaustion.
When we live that myth and our bodies inevitably begin to break down, we need truth and solidarity to help us detach.
We need allies to help us find our center again.
In this week’s episode, Karlee catches up with her longtime friend and tour-life confidant, Jennifer Madriz. Life on the road had its magnificent parts, but when things got messy, their circle of solidarity kept them both grounded, connected, and sane. After so much self-sacrifice, Jennifer decided to stop ignoring and start paying attention to the cues her body was giving her.
You’ll hear how she shifted from always pushing and pleasing to actually, thoughtfully, pausing and listening. Getting quiet allowed her to tap into what was really important. And it just so happened to be a welcome catalyst for a career change that today, brings her more joy, purpose, and satisfaction.
When we listen to our bodies, we’re able to leverage that information as a professional resource instead of something to push through.
So, how about we ditch that old myth and live by a new, more self-pleasing professional mantra?
Get quiet. Be still. Listen. Learn. Nourish yourself. Cultivate more of what brings you joy.
If you’re ready to find more actual joy and lean on the sacred solidarity in your life, then this episode is for you!
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Are you hiding behind an emotional anomie? (3:45)
- How the rules of our youth follow us into adulthood (13:35)
- The equation for exhaustion (19:30)
- Listening to your body talk (26:19)
- How getting quiet helps you align the physical and the emotional (36:49)
- Where trauma shows up in our work (40:57)
- Maybe it’s not you... it’s the world around you (46:37)
- Why you’re already enough (54:50)
Connect with Jennifer Madriz:
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Vivian Gornick
Natalia Ginzberg
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 83: What IS Joy, and Why Should I Care About it at Work?
Episode 84: Feeling a Lack of Zest for Your Work? What’s sabotaging your professional mojo and what you can do about it
Article: Gornick, Vivian. “Why Some of Us Thrive in a Crisis.” The Atlantic, Atlantic Media Company, 11 May 2020, www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2020/06/the-fellowship-of-suffering/610492/.
Guided Meditation Exercise
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
One year ago today, we were dreaming of the future we’re in now. We shared a collective hope that in a year, we’d start to see the light at the end of this long, cloudy pandemic-fueled tunnel. We expected it to feel like a worldwide wave of joy and relief once the world began to open up again.
But for a lot of us, the cloud hasn’t lifted completely.
Sure, we’re happy the puzzle pieces of the lives we knew before are starting to find their places again. But, there still seem to be a few underlying emotions that we just can’t seem to shake. Feelings like sorrow and grief.
We thought we’d have untangled ourselves from this by now...so, why are we still here?
When our foundations have been cracked, repairing those cracks requires acknowledgement.
Because nothing really shifts without acknowledgement.
In this week’s episode, Karlee unearths a couple of the common leaks that spring up in the well of women's reserves, so that you can recognize the ones that might be accidentally draining your joy. She explains the relationship between joy and it’s necessary counterpart, sorrow, and reveals why trying to “turn it off” isn’t helping you move through the feelings of sorrow that need acknowledging.
All of our emotions carry the same weight. Meaning, we can’t turn off the sticky ones without also turning off our ability to feel the emotions we want to feel.
Joy can’t exist without sorrow.
If you’re ready to acknowledge the sorrow you’re holding in your cup so that you can summon the joy behind it, then this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- How your joy could be seeping out through the cracks (4:07)
- The two types of joy (9:42)
- Defining the dominant emotion of 2021 (11:34)
- Understanding the relationship between joy and sorrow (15:13)
- Universal harbingers of joy that’ll make you smile right now (23:23)
- A simple practice for cultivating your daily dose of joy (26:23)
- Why authentic joy is two-sided (29:14)
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Dana Lemay
Adam Grant
Kahlil Gibran
Dr. Pamela King
Ingrid Fetell Lee
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 83: What IS Joy, and Why Should I Care About it at Work?
Article: Grant, Adam. “There's a Name for the Blah You're Feeling: It's Called Languishing.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 19 Apr. 2021, www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/well/mind/covid-mental-health-languishing.html.
LISTEN NOW: The Boundary Brunch
Book: The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran
Website: King, Pamela Ebstyne. “Pamela Ebstyne King.” The Thrive Center for Human Development, 8 May 2021, thethrivecenter.org/about/pam-ebstyne-king/.
TED Talk: Where Joy Hides and Where to Find it with Ingrid Fetell Lee
Episode 1: One Word That Will Elevate Everything You Do
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
What’s the last thing you did that brought you a true sense of contentment?
Was it playing fetch with your dog in the park, or sliding down that hot metal slide at the playground with your niece tucked securely in your lap? Maybe you heard the chimes of the ice cream truck rolling through your neighborhood, bringing a child-like smile to your face and memories of sugar highs and sticky fingers.
There’s one thing that these experiences all have in common.
J-O-Y!!
As a functioning adult with bills to pay and responsibilities to fulfill, joy is probably the last thing on your mind. You’re doing what you need to in order to be successful. Why should you care about something silly like joy? Joy’s for kids... right?
Actually, the experience of joy is detrimental not only to our health, but equally for our career aspirations.
Promotions and raises aren’t going to bring you joy... because joy precedes success.
Did that get your attention?
The role of joy in our success isn’t just some whimsical pursuit. It’s science.
In this week’s episode, Karlee defines joy as a practice, and the science behind its importance in your life and in the workplace. She’ll explain why it matters, and share a few clever ways that companies are helping employees go about their tasks with a little more joy in their day to day work. Then, she’ll share four pragmatic things you can do right now to cultivate more joy into your life, helping you lay the groundwork for success.
Joy is far too important to not leverage as one of our most practical professional assets. It’s scientifically proven to be the key to good health, career success, and harmony in your life.
If you’re ready to understand the true nature of joy and find practical ways to bring more of it into your life, then this episode is for you!
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- A simple formula for thriving (3:31)
- The difference between joy and happiness (11:02)
- The connection between joy and confidence (12:56)
- How joy leads to longevity (14:55)
- What’s misunderstood about joy and career success (19:50)
- Cultivating workplace joy (21:17)
- Four ways you can bring more joy into your life and work (28:36)
- The value of soft strength (33:04)
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Dana Lemay
Sophie Cliff
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Notifly
LISTEN NOW: The Boundary Brunch
Book:The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World byDouglas Carlton Abrams, Desmond Tutu, Dalai Lama
Study:Martín-María, Natalia et al. “The Impact of Subjective Well-being on Mortality: A Meta-Analysis of Longitudinal Studies in the General Population.” Psychosomatic medicine vol. 79,5 (2017): 565-575. doi:10.1097/PSY.0000000000000444
Study: “Positive Intelligence.” Harvard Business Review, 8 Oct. 2014, hbr.org/2012/01/positive-intelligence.
Study: “Read @Kearney: Joy at Work.” Kearney, www.kearney.com/leadership-change-organization/article/?%2Fa%2Fjoy-at-work.
Podcast: Joy@Work podcast
Video: Virtual Tour of Kickstarter Offices
Episode 80: Have To Do It All Yourself? How women get aboard the “Allyship” and let a few key people and strategies bolster their professional success.
Episode 75: Devotion to the Dream: What to stop so you can really start with with Charlyn Reihman
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
She’s busy all the time. She’s juggling way too much but somehow still seems to get everything done, even if she’s looking a little disheveled at the end of the day. She’s got all the rest of us wondering…. how??
Know anyone like that? Or does “she” sound a lot like you?
We’ve all been through times of hustle and sacrifice. For high-achieving women, it's just part of our nature to give our professional pursuits every ounce of energy we can muster.
But sometimes, we get so used to the hustle that it becomes a way of life.
And that leads to burnout.
Trying to sustain the constant “doing” eventually catches up with us.
We know what we’re doing isn’t sustainable. But we haven’t built the support networks that’ll help pull us out of the cycle.
We didn’t really know we were supposed to.
Building an intimate network of strong women is such a fundamental part of sustainable success. Whether our allies are helping us up the ladder or telling us we need to take a break, the support of other women is the secret weapon of success in a world that’s been historically off limits to us.
In this culmination episode, Karlee brings together the most powerful lessons we’ve learned this month about sustaining ourselves as high-achieving women. She revisits why open networking is the career advice that women haven’t been getting, and she shares how you can magnify your access to these important support resources.
When you make a conscious choice to surround yourself with the right people, opening your circle to people from different industries, ages groups, gender identities, orientations, walks of life, world experience, and professional expertise, you’re building a diverse network of strong women who you’ll be able to count on when you need it most. You’ll also have the even richer experience of lending your support to a woman who needs it.
Sustainability is born when we take off the solo hero cape and take hold of the hands that surround us.
When we learn alongside community, it takes the pressure off of ourselves. You’ve worked hard, but you shouldn’t work harder than you need to. It’s time to arm yourself with the support of allies.
If you’re ready to start paying yourself the same level of respect that you give others and create a path to lasting sustainability, then this episode is for you!
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- What women are missing out on along their professional paths (7:57)
- 3 questions to ask yourself to determine if it’s time to upgrade your resources (12:03)
- The support system you might be missing out on (15:44)
- Why the issues you’re experiencing could be symptoms of isolation (17:56)
- 4 signs it’s time to build your professional allies (20:11)
- How to create more support for other working women (26:38)
- Remembering to put yourself first (36:02)
May Culmination Episodes:
Ep. 78: What Ceiling? The 3 Under-taught Skills That Get Women Past Professional and Financial Barriers
Ep. 79: Not Going Backwards: How We Elevate The Careers of Women During Covid
Ep. 80: Have To Do It All Yourself? How women get aboard the “Allyship” and let a few key people and strategies bolster their professional success.
Ep. 81: Got the Burnout Blues? How one woman went from breakdown to breakthrough and found joyful sustainability and a career with purpose with Sandrine Crescini
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Sandrine Crescini
Susan Colontuono
Sheila Halvorson
Ron Burt
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Article: Halvorson, Sheila. “13 Factors To Ensure Sustainable Business Growth.” Forbes Magazine, 8, June 2020
Article: Simmons, Michael. “The No. 1 Predictor Of Career Success According To Network Science.” Forbes, Forbes Magazine, 20 Sept. 2015
Article: Stoner, Kayla. “Most Successful Women Surround Themselves with Other Women.” 22, January, 2019
Contribute: The National Domestic Workers Alliance Coronavirus Care Fund
Class: ENROLL NOW: The June 2021 Boundary Academy
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
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You work long, late hours and come home exhausted. Headaches are just a way of life these days. So are the knots in your stomach. And, you really can’t remember the last time you went for a walk or a bike ride that didn’t involve multitasking with a zoom call or mentally outlining a work presentation.
Besides, if you found the time to “relax”, would you even be capable of sitting still?
If the thought of sitting down for 20 minutes without your computer or your phone gives you more anxiety than it should, it might be time to talk about burnout.
“But, I'm comfortable being busy. Why do I have to sit down?”
Because underlying anxiety is comfortably suppressed when we’re keeping ourselves busy.
But, the moment you stop, you’re forced to confront what’s really goin’ on in there…
Paying attention to the symptoms of burnout isn’t really a choice. One way or another, it manifests itself. If you don’t listen, it just gets louder. Chronic headaches, inflammation, anxiety, depression...these can all be linked to doing too much. If we don’t pay attention to the signs, it can derail us completely.
But this...this is a story of hope.
In today’s episode, Karlee welcomes a true poster-woman for sustainability, Sandrine Crescini. After a burnout breakdown left her homebound for a year, she dropped everything and gave her mind and body the time it needed to regroup. After a lot of patience and some deep soul searching, the clouds finally lifted. She left burnout behind to live a more joyful life that finally felt sustainable. Quite literally.
Recognizing the symptoms of burnout and taking the time your whole being needs to rest and recover is not only healthy, but it can lead to big discoveries about yourself. It can change your path and invite more purpose into your life.
It’s time to exhale.... stop holding in what you already know to be true.
If you’re ready to find sustainable joy by putting you first and offering yourself more grace, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in this Episode:
- Why it’s never a question of knowing; it’s a question of doing (12:54)
- What it took to recover from burnout and find joy again (18:36)
- How honesty with yourself and others allows space for serendipity (23:30)
- Thinking about sustainability in our everyday lives (27:39)
- How small adjustments can result in big changes (33:10)
- How to know when it is time to push yourself versus trying a different way (41:24)
- Shifting your default mindset from judgement to grace (43:05)
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Suzi Banks Baum
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 80: Have To Do It All Yourself? How women get aboard the “Allyship” and let a few key people and strategies bolster their professional success.
Class: ENROLL NOW: The June 2021 Boundary Academy
Article: * “whole team of psychologists who are suggesting that we get more specific about acknowledging that burnout is a is an actual medical form of depression.” @27:18
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect with Sandrine Crescini:
Shop: Chez Mamie: https://chezmamie-biovrac.ch/
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
How often have you turned down a lunch, happy hour, or coffee invitation with another woman, personally or professionally, because you were just too busy?
As much as you might feel like you’ve taken the high road and put work first, taking rain checks on social or work + social outings might actually be costing you in the long run.
In fact, you’re probably looking at these outings the wrong way altogether.
The number one indicator of a woman’s professional success is….oh, were you about to say “determination”, or “grit”? Those are up there too, but there’s something even more important.
A tight group of female friends.
You read that right. It’s not about the resources you have or the hours you clock.
It’s about connection.
A.K. A networking. And we should all be doing more of it...but not in big or fancy ways.
In today’s episode, Karlee goes full circle to reveal how successful women navigate the professional world in a way that’s refreshingly gender-specific. She points out the differences in the way men and women view money and power, and our contrasting motivations for obtaining them. She’ll also talk about the three obstacles unique to a woman's business or career, and the
alternate paths to success that women are creating to push past them.
For women rising through the ranks of a long male-dominated world, we still sometimes find that we don’t fit in. But what we do differently is actually our strength.
If you don’t fit in, fit out.
We do that by leaning into who we are, and utilizing the tight-knit relationships we’re naturally gifted at creating. We ask for help. And we invest in other women by seeking out women-owned businesses and becoming mentors.
Because we know that when one of us rises, we all rise.
If you’re ready to embrace your strengths and form powerful allyships that propel all women forward, then this episode is for you!
What You’ll Learn in this Episode:
- The scientifically validated need to network small (4:48)
- 4 signs that you’re ready to build core professional allies (5:46)
- Why networking is about quality, not quantity (15:14)
- Diverging motivations for power between men and women (16:20)
- The top 3 obstacles to women’s success (18:58)
- 7 things you might be doing right (24:23)
- Why some women aren’t moving up (34:19)
- How to build an open network (36:05)
- One way women can help other women rise (40:58)
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Dana Lemay
Kayla Stoner
Stephanie Kaplan Lewis
Raegan Moya-Jones
Sara Blakely
Stacey Abrams
David Rock
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Article: January 22, 2019 | By Kayla Stoner. Most Successful Women Surround Themselves with Other Women, news.northwestern.edu/stories/2019/01/most-successful-women-surround-themselves-with-other-women/.
Shop: Chez Mamie: link: https://chezmamie-biovrac.ch/
Class: ENROLL NOW: The June 2021 Boundary Academy
Article: Wolfers, Justin. “Fewer Women Run Big Companies Than Men Named John.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 2 Mar. 2015, www.nytimes.com/2015/03/03/upshot/fewer-women-run-big-companies-than-men-named-john.html.
Article: Hinchliffe, Emma. “In 2018, All Female Founders Put Together Got $10 Billion Less Than Juul.” Fortune, Fortune, 30 Jan. 2019, fortune.com/2019/01/28/funding-female-founders-2018/.
Survey: Deloitte Global Research Initiative: Understanding the pandemic’s impact on working women How employers can act now to prevent a setback in achieving gender parity in the workplace
Article: Simmons, Michael. “The No. 1 Predictor Of Career Success According To Network Science.” Forbes, Forbes Magazine, 20 Sept. 2015, www.forbes.com/sites/michaelsimmons/2015/01/15/this-is-the-1-predictor-of-career-success-according-to-network-science/?sh=5330dfc6e829.
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
This has been a whirlwind.
Sure, we’ve entered the space beyond 2020, but the ripple effects become more pronounced as time goes by. Some of us have found our balance again. But for others, the hard-knocks just keep coming.
Before Covid, women were kickin’ ass and takin’ names. We were building successful businesses. We were helping to elevate one another by creating work infrastructures that made sense for the unique challenges we know all women face.
We were on top of the world! Then...
Then a pandemic threw everything off course.
As tired as that’s made us, as much as we’d love to just throw in the towel, we know that we’re far too resilient for that.
In today’s episode, Karlee reveals startling statistics about the productivity of women pre-covid, and how those spectacular gains have been lost as the pandemic continues to derail women, and particularly women of color, around the world. She points out the unique pressures women face juggling our work and home lives, and offers inspiration from past generations of women that’ll help you find the strength you need to keep going. She’ll also provide actionable ways that you can help women rise up again, thereby acknowledging your personal power to uplift.
We know we’ll bounce back. But we also know that surviving the setbacks can be made a little easier when we’ve got each other's backs.
The success of women depends on the success of women.
We know how to use our power and resources to elevate others. We understand that when women are at the top, we look out for the long-term health and stability of our communities.
As we ride these rough seas together, it’s important to remember our tribal roots: helping others is what gives us the nourishment we need. It allows us to acknowledge our power and remind us of our connectedness to community.
If you’re ready to build back brighter, stronger, and become a pinnacle of support for women so they’re able to do the same, then this episode is for you!
What You’ll Learn in this Episode:
- Leaving space for unexpected allies (1:21)
- The growth of women-owned businesses pre-Covid (11:59)
- Better outcomes from women who plan ahead (13:37)
- Pandemic pressure among women worldwide (18:41)
- What we can learn from women who’ve been here before (24:52)
- How to help women (27:17)
- Acknowledging our power to uplift (32:14)
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Article: Gupta, A.H. (2021, January 18). Will Biden’s Stimulus Package Help Reverse the ‘Shecession’? New York Times.https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/18/us/biden-stimulus-package-shecession.html
Recording: The Boundary Brunch
Website: Endorse the Women's Empowerment Principles | UN Global Compact. Retrieved from https://www.unglobalcompact.org/take-action/action/womens-principles
Report: 2019 Women owned business report commissioned by American Express, cited in Business News Daily
Book: Sacred Success: A Course in Financial Miracles by Barbara Stanny
Study: Women Heads of State and Covid-19 Policy Responses
Ana Abras, Ana Claudia Polato e Fava & Monica Yukie Kuwahara
Pages 380-400 | Published online: 01 Mar 2021
Report: Deloitte Global Research Initiative: Understanding the pandemic’s impact on working women How employers can act now to prevent a setback in achieving gender parity in the workplace
Report:The Early Impact of Covid-19 on Job Losses among Black Women in the United States
Michelle Holder,Janelle Jones &Thomas Masterson
Pages 103-116 | Published online: 01 Mar 2021
Article: COVID-19 Job Market Wreaks Havoc on Black WomenBy Tim Smart from the US News | April 15, 2021, at 1:40 p.m. https://www.usnews.com/news/economy/articles/2021-04-15/black-women-suffering-the-most-from-covid-19-job-market-disruption
Article: Hammer, Bonnie. “How to Fix Women's Jobs During the COVID-19 Pandemic.” Time, Time, 25 Jan. 2021, time.com/5932620/women-covid-19-jobs/
Website: National Domestic Workers Alliance
Click here for more details and to sign-up
Live Events: https://membership.domesticworkers.org/get-involved/events/
Weekly coronavirus video call for domestic workers
Website: Ellevest
Click here for more details and to sign-up
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
You’re doing everything you’ve been told to do in order to build a successful career. But, despite years of intense focus and sweat equity, it still feels like more of a struggle for you than it does for some of your counterparts.
What gives?!?!?
Society encourages our addiction to productivity. But, if you can reach back and remember the last time you paused, and how that pause seemed to break open the clouds and let a little more light in, then you know that pause is productive.
When we give ourselves a moment to let our reality catch up with our ambitions, that’s where we start to see the gaps with some much needed clarity.
So, here’s the question…
Have you been given access to the full spectrum of resources you need to be successful?
If you’re a woman, the answer is probably not.
In this episode, Karlee dials in on the missing 33% of career advice that women aren’t getting as we’re coming up through the ranks. Gender-based information gaps continue to prevail as we build the foundations of our careers. Today, you’ll finally hear the advice you might not have gotten when it comes to career planning, long-term strategy, and financial stability. Plus, Karlee provides a few simple, doable action items to help you fill in those gaps.
If you’re struggling to find focus or sustain growth in your career, it’s entirely plausible that YOU aren’t the problem. The lack of information you’ve been privy to could be what’s been holding you back.
In order to live into the life you want, it’s only sustainable if you’re thriving in the process.
If you ever find yourself in the position of having a lot on your plate and wondering how you're going to sustain the things you've started, or the things that are doing well, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in this Episode:
- Why taking time-out is productive (1:08)
- The key advice women have been missing out on (10:57)
- What fully resourced women know (12:36)
- 3 questions to ask yourself about your career (14:11)
- Easy, actionable ways to access the resources you need (16:31)
- Establishing and calling on your network connections (17:34)
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Suzi Banks Baum
Susan Colontuono
Sheila Halvorson
Ron Burt
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 74: Inviting Newness In: How We Clear Space for What’s Important
Episode 75: Devotion to the Dream: What to stop so you can really start with with Charlyn Reihman
Episode 76: Just Thrown A Curveball?! The specifics of how my company builds something new and revamps after our plans are foiled.
Book: The One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan
Book: No Ceiling, No Walls: What women haven't been told about leadership from career-start to the corporate boardroom (ASK Leading Women™ Book 1) by Susan L. Colantuono
Episode 13: Making Money Moves: Upgrading Your Finances & Personal Power
Article: Halvorson, Sheila. “13 Factors To Ensure Sustainable Business Growth.” Forbes Magazine, 8, June 2020
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Let’s pretend for a moment…
You’ve just decided you want to start your first garden this year. If your thumb doesn’t aspire to be quite so green, then maybe starting a side hustle has been on your mind. Learning a new language. Letting a little romance into your life. Spearheading a new project at work. Starting a revolution.
Whatever it is, it excites you! Your creative juices are flowing like Class V rapids. You feel the wheels turning, you want to leap forward and unleash this feel-good energy into the world!
There’s only one problem. Ok, maybe a small mountain of problems.
“Where’s the time?!?!”
High achieving women know this predicament well. We know that beginnings are constant because our dreams are an always-on. We never stop doing.
But if we aren’t working from a plan that gets us over the starting line, we risk never following through. We could end up with a pile of “what-if’s” and false starts wondering… “whatever happened to that?”
We’ve dedicated this month to new beginnings. Switching our mindsets from fickle motivation to unwavering devotion. Shifting our understanding of urgency and recalibrating our priorities. Unloading the not-so-urgent and adding more of what brings us joy.
In this episode, Karlee highlights the richest lessons around beginnings from this month for you to carry with you over the starting line when your next idea comes calling. She reflects on the familiar signs we’ve all experienced when something new wants to be brought to life, and the build-up of burdens that prevent us from taking action. Today, you’ll learn how to make time for what’s important, even when your plate is full, and how you can pivot successfully when a curveball gets thrown your way.
If you’re ready to launch something new into the world (like, actually do it!), then this episode is for you!
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- The constancy of beginnings (3:19)
- How the little things distort our understanding of urgency (9:33)
- Living into your values (12:14)
- When you know you can’t outrun change any longer (17:35)
- Figuring out how to make more time for what you value (25:39)
- Karlee’s “shampoo cycle” model (32:24)
- How a string of unfinished projects affects our confidence (35:53)
April Culmination Episodes:
Episode 74: Inviting Newness In: How We Clear Space for What’s Important
Episode 75: Devotion to the Dream: What to stop so you can really start with with Charlyn Reihman
Episode 76: Just Thrown A Curveball?! The specifics of how my company builds something new and revamps after our plans are foiled.
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect with Charlyn Reiman:
Email: greenlanepa@gmail.com
Website: www.charlynreihman.com
Book: Walking the Path of Love: Connecting to the Kripalu Lineage and the Core Teachings of Swami Kripalu by Anandamai Charlyn Reihman
SafeBridge Consultants
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
What was the last new thing you began?
Was it a new job? Did you start your own company? Enter a new relationship? Dig into a new hobby?
Now, think back to when that fresh idea first came into being...
What did that feel like?
Did you feel a sudden burst of energy where the skies opened up, or was it more like profuse palm sweating and a healthy dose of fear? Both?
We’ve all been there. And we’re not just saying that.
Getting off the ground doesn’t have to happen the hard way. And you don’t have to do it alone.
That’s why this month’s focus has been all about beginnings.
Because thinking about starting something and actually doing it….well, there’s a lot of work in between.
And we need to talk about it.
Having the support and encouragement you need to bring something new into the world comes a whole lot easier when you’ve got people cheering you on from the sidelines.
We all want to talk to women who can relate.
In this episode, Karlee welcomes you behind the curtain for an inside look into her most recent “something new.” The Boundary Academy began as an observation. The concept expanded as more and more research validated that observation. An idea started to take shape, then a plan was hatched.
Then the plan was foiled. Interrupted. Not exactly falling into place.
But, rather than letting any of the perceived “setbacks” justify throwing in the towel, she welcomed every curveball that swerved in her direction.
Most importantly, she took those hints to heart.
And that made all the difference.
In today’s culmination episode, you’ll hear the full circle experience of Karlee’s learning process in creating The Boundary Academy. She’s gettin’ real about the excitement, the discouragement, the encouragement, and the ultimate reward when you bring something new into being. You’ll hear poignant wisdom from the women who make up the Council of Boundary Makers (a concept that arose from a curveball). You’ll also find some powerful process insight that just might include that thing you need to hear to keep the flames of your own idea alight.
If you’re ready to listen to the experiences of those who’ve been there and find the support you need to finally get that new idea in motion, then this episode is for you!
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- The anatomy of a beginning (7:26)
- Three things that worked (13:37)
- What listening can teach you (17:32)
- Taking hints from the curveballs (22:26)
- Welcoming consistent evolution (30:51)
- Awakening to the possibility of building a network of support (36:31)
People Mentioned in This Episode:
Maria Sirois
Ellen Casey Boyd
Raphaela Kramer
Dana LeMay
Meredith Brisson
Charlyn Reihman
Suzi Banks Baum
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Maria Sirois Program: What to Remember
Video: The Boundary Brunch
Let’s Host Your Boundary Brunch! Email dana@everybodythrive.com
Episode 35: Trust Your Knowing: How Women Rise From Doubt to Leading Themselves Forward with Suzi Banks Baum
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Is there something you’ve thought about starting or changing in your life, but haven’t quite managed to let the bull out of the pen yet?
How long have you been sitting with it?
At one point or another, we’ve all been tapped on the shoulder by some seemingly far-fetched dream of transitioning into something new. But, actua
lly following through with it….why does that seem soooo difficult?
As much as you might crave that motivating “new project” feeling, or want to initiate the career revamp you’ve been flirting with for years, or maybe even throw your hat back into the dating game and find yourself on that first date which, before you know it, has turned into 20, we know that change requires more than wishful thinking.
Activating ourselves to walk that first mile is always the hardest part.
We allow “what-if’s” to take up space in our heads, and it can get overwhelming real quick. But, rather than throwing in the towel, we’ve got to somehow find the will-power to keep going.
Creator’s gotta create.
So, what is it, exactly, that we need in order to follow through on our hearts desires?
If we want to know how women are able to find the energy to begin anew, and how they find the time to prioritize what’s important, we need to see it working for someone else.
Today’s guest is author, healer, teacher, and teacher-trainer, Charlyn Reihman. She’s a passionate yoga, meditation, self-care, and healing instructor who also leads classes, workshops, retreats, and private one-on-one sessions all over the world. Her recently published book, Walking the Path of Love , is based on the core teachings of Swami Kripalu.
In this episode, Karlee opens the conversation with Charlyn, naturally, about the process of beginning. Charlyn shares the wisdom of her experience around knowing what to stop and where to start when you’re ready to fully devote yourself to that dream that’s been tapping you on the shoulder. She’ll tell you how to find the right kind of support that’ll not only get you through that first mile, but also carry you over the finish line.
If you’re ready to walk the path of devotion towards something new, then this is the episode for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Allowing your heart to have a voice (8:21)
- What to do when you don’t know what to do (13:03)
- Pausing to let the path come to you (19:13)
- Finding answers in the space between (25:42)
- How to say “no” and not feel guilty about it (35:17)
- Why devotion is the only thing that matters (37:35)
- Not allowing fear to impede your progress (45:31)
People Mentioned in This Episode:
Suzi Banks Baum
Swami Kripalu
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Episode 74, Inviting Newness In: How We Clear Space for What’s Important
Episode 35, Trust Your Knowing: How Women Rise From Doubt to Leading Themselves Forward with Suzi Banks Baum
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect with Charlyn Reihman:
Email: greenlanepa@gmail.com
Website: www.charlynreihman.com
Book: Walking the Path of Love: Connecting to the Kripalu Lineage and the Core Teachings of Swami Kripalu by Anandamai Charlyn Reihman
SafeBridge Consultants
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Imagine for a moment that you’re standing at your kitchen window, looking out into the garden.
Your attention is captured by a couple of birds helping themselves to seeds from a feeder hanging nearby. They’re fluttering around one another, taking turns poking their beaks into the convenient bounty of sustenance.
As you watch from the window, you notice that you’re not thinking about anything. You’re simply being. And it feels good.
You turn to add a little more hot water to your tea, and out of the corner of your eye, you notice your phone lighting up with text messages and the daily barrage of emails that you were so proud of emptying yesterday.
Your body tightens. A sense of urgency sinks in as you detach from the scene outside.
But, there’s a feeling that stays with you.
You think to yourself... How can I make time for more of this?
This month, we're talking about bringing new things into the world. More of the things that allow us pause and bring us joy, clarity, and meaning.
Whether it’s a career revamp, a new hobby, a better relationship with yourself or a fresh one with someone else, a new city or country, or more time for mindless birdwatching, inviting change means making room for it.
Before we can welcome the new, something else has to give.
In this episode, Karlee reveals the mindset that makes being able to live into what’s important both practical and doable. She shares some of the most common physical and emotional cues that can help you determine what’s urgent and what’s important in your life. She’ll also walk you through a revealing exercise that’ll help you start making space for the important things, even when you still have the urgent ones nipping at your heels.
If you’re ready to make space for what’s important and invite something new into your world, then this episode is for you!
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Why we confuse urgency and emergency (6:07)
- What urgent might feel like for you (13:01)
- How to determine what actually is important when you have a lot on your plate (16:29)
- A practical exercise in making space for what's important (20:36)
- The one thing that women who live into their goals do everyday (26:01)
- Why progress happens in the pockets (27:58)
People Mentioned in This Episode:
Dr. Alicia O'Cathain, PhD, Professor of Health Services Research at the University of Sheffield in the UK published a study in 2019 ‘Clinically unnecessary’ use of emergency and urgent care: A realist review of patients' decision making
Erin Skahan, Copywriter at The Rouxx
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Alicia O'Cathain, PhD, Professor of Health Services Research, 1 Janice Connell, BSc, Research Associate, 1 Jaqui Long, PhD, Research Associate, 1 and Joanne Coster, MSc, Research Fellow 1
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6978874/
The Grocery Store Adventure Guide: 7 Uplifting Steps to Navigate the Supermarket for Your Revitalized Life by Karlee Fain
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
When we talk about being successful, both as humans and in our professional work, we usually refer to climbing some sort of proverbial ladder. Whether it’s a corporate or an entrepreneurial ladder, we all want to keep going up.
But if we’re in a constant state of “up”, we miss out on all the in between.
There’s value in the in between. If you don’t take the time to pause, you’re not taking the time to process.
This month, Karlee has been focusing on the significance of professional nourishment. So, naturally, this is the perfect time to introduce our very first Culmination episode.
At the end of every month, Karlee will bring together the best and brightest bits of wisdom from the previous episodes of that month. The culmination episode will focus on how you can actually apply the wisdom you’ve collected from the month in your own life.
Culmination is a time for nourishment.
Growth isn’t actually in the shape of a ladder. It’s more like a spiral staircase. You still move upward, but with every step you take up, culmination invites you to circle back and reflect upon the wisdom gained from each previous footfall.
When we build in moments to pause, and reflect on our experiences before automatically moving on to the next thing, we can actually harvest the nourishing wisdom that we’ve collected.
This is an invitation to go deeper into what's working.
In this episode, Karlee weaves in audience questions and comments with the top clips from this month into a rich conversations around professional sustainability. She’ll map out how you can make space for nourishment, and explains why it’s so important to pause and reflect. Leaning into the wisdom of listeners and guests, she’ll also identify what it means when we feel guilt, and how that feeling can actually be a clue as to whether or not we’re truly living our values.
If you’re ready to reap the benefits of pause and create space for nourishment in your life, then this episode is for you!
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Why the time to consider a deeper form of nourishment is now (9:05)
- A “nourishment” refresher (11:00)
- Getting past the distractions and making time for nourishment (14:15)
- Following up (and through!) on the 5 Better Questions (22:51)
- Changing our relationship with guilt (31:30)
- How to know when you’re honoring your values (36:40)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Episode 3: Done Burning Out? The 4 phases of growth and sustaining success
Episode 69: Out of Sync? How Wise Women are Receiving Nourishment
Episode 70: Thinking About Change? How We Find Focus and Make Elevated Choices
Website: David L. Cooperrider Center for Appreciative Inquiry
Master Sheet for Focus
Episode 71: Tired of Feeling Guilty? How Wise Women are Exploring Guilt and Becoming Better Leaders with Catherine Flavin
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
What would happen to the world around you if you just stepped away for an hour?
You switch off your phone, close your laptop, head out the door, and you just start walking. You can feel the breeze against your skin, smell the sweetness of spring blooms, and hear birds chirping from distant treetops.
The possibility of just shutting it all down for one hour to take that walk... does it feel complicated? As much as you love the idea, as much as your body wants that movement and your soul needs that dose of nature, do you do it?
As we continue to explore professional nourishment this month, giving yourself permission to pause is an important first step.
In this episode, Karlee helps you explore what nourishment looks like for you. She’ll present four powerful questions that you can hold for yourself right now in order to hone in on what really matters in your life. Their answers will reveal what brings you the nourishment you need to support your best self, and your best work.
Sometimes the simplest questions can lead to big awareness. Giving yourself the space you need and allowing for flexibility and softness in your days is where we find answers. It gives us room to acknowledge what has transpired over the last year and the time to decide what we're welcoming in.
We all need room to just be. Without judgement.
If you’re ready to create space for the unscripted and find nourishment in your answers, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Reaching for the connections you need when you need them (9:58)
- How you can be a part of culmination week (11:30)
- Limiting your accessibility and finding space to breathe (13:37)
- Staying flexible in a year of constant fluctuation (17:49)
- A simple switch to plan for financial prosperity (19:24)
- Four questions to leave space for right now (20:46)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Episode 71: Tired of Feeling Guilty? How Wise Women are Exploring Guilt and Becoming Better Leaders with Catherine Flavin
Episode 13: Making Money Moves: Upgrading Your Finances & Personal Power
Send your Audio Comments and Questions to anitza@everybodythrive.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
You’ve managed to wrap things up at work an hour early. You get home, put on some music, and head straight for that big cozy chair, and sink in deep. You take a moment. Just to sit and rest those weary bones for the 40 minutes you’ve stolen for yourself before the kids come home, the dog needs walking, or your partner arrives home from work.
But, shouldn’t you really be using that extra time to get ahead?
Dinner could be prepped. Those weeds in the garden really need pulling. And, ughhh... that laundry.
Do you ever feel guilty for sitting still?
If you answered “yes” to this, congratulations. You’re a bonafide human woman. We all do it.
But the important thing to understand about guilt is that it’s a signal. It’s a real emotion tapping you on the shoulder, asking to be recognized. Guilt is saying, “Hey...there’s a value being violated here. Pay attention.”
Instead of succumbing to the emotional gravity, what if you dared to pause and ask what your guiltit’s trying to tell you?
If we don't process our guilt, then we’re permitting it to drain us. Learning how to heed its message and engage with our emotions makes us better. Better partners, better parents, better friends, and better leaders.
As women in the world, we’re intimately familiar with guilt. We try to create balance between work and family, between authority and empathy. But the truth is that our guilt isn’t the problem. The corporate environment in which we’re living is the problem.
The sooner we all accept that male and female balance in the workplace is what will truly allow us to thrive as a whole, the sooner we’ll elevate the whole world.
Today, Karlee unleashes some ultra-rich insight in her conversation with Catherine Flavin, founder, and CEO of Leader Mom/ Whole Leader. Catherine is a trained social scientist providing researched-based practices for sustainable success among high-performing leaders. With over 25 years of experience exploring culture and leadership, Catherine is an expert in providing support programs for leaders during difficult times, including 911 and the financial crisis in 2008.
You’ll hear Catherine’s perspective on the mindset professional women need to consider to regain their workplace status and continue to thrive after changes brought on by Covid-19. She also shares the classic behavioral traits of women who secure significant leadership roles and reveals the glaring disparity in how men and women are evaluated in the workplace and what’s behind it.
When we take pause and try to understand the message wrapped within our feelings of guilt, we’re able to meet our emotions with curiosity and softness. This allows us the space and the energy we require to do amazing things.
If you’re ready to “be amazing and take the bumps lightly,” then this episode is for you!
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Taking control rather than accepting “inevitability” (8:22)
- The implicit bias women face (11:23)
- Why motherhood affects all women (22:13)
- Gathering the right intel to process guilt effectively (26:27)
- Sustaining your most valuable asset (35:15)
- Understanding our values and sticking to them (40:40)
- The learning path towards leadership (52:43)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Episode 69: Out of Sync? How Wise Women are Receiving Nourishment
Episode 70: Thinking About Change? How We Find Focus and Make Elevated Choices
Guide Sheets for Appreciative Inquiry "5 Better Questions To Ask During Change"
Connect with Catherine Flavin:
Podcast: Hard Won Wisdom & Ways
Website: Leader Mom
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
One afternoon, your boss comes into your office and tells you you’re up for a big promotion. It would require a move, but it’s better money, and it’s an opportunity to move to a new city. The thought excites you and those butterflies start to flutter. Your hands get a little shaky as you try to process the infinite possibilities.
Then….
After 60 seconds of raw emotion, your mind suddenly starts pummeling you with questions. Your mood starts to shift from excitement to doubt.
Why are they considering me? What if I don’t deserve the job? How would I even manage a move like this? What if it’s a mistake?
Transitions force us to enter what Kate Northrup calls the fertile void. You’re ripe for change, but you’ve been programmed to drag your heels at the very thought of detaching from your comfort zone.
What if instead of getting pulled down by fear, you decided to lean into a different set of questions?
When it comes to professional success, it is not survival of the fittest. It’s survival of the focused. Focus requires nourishment.
Today, Karlee poses the five better questions to ask yourself when change comes a knockin’. Rather than getting consumed and overwhelmed by the how’s and why’s, she reveals how going deeper into your personal how’s and what’s will actually bring you closer to the answers that ring true for you.
Focused decisions that come from a place of deep personal insight are the lights that’ll help guide you through transformation. Whether it’s a voluntary change or one that you didn’t have control over, you can count on the answers you find when they’re accessed from a place of nourishment.
If you’re ready to ditch the nourishment deficit and live the better questions, then this episode is for you!
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- The starting point for real transformation (4:30)
- The science behind effective change (6:01)
- Choosing truth over fear (13:05)
- Five better questions to help you manage change (19:17)
- The wisdom of asking for help (24:50)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
FREE ACCESS TO THE BOUNDARY BRUNCH RECORDING
Episode 69: Out of Sync? How Wise Women are Receiving Nourishment
Episode 5: Five BETTER Questions to Ask When Change Comes Calling
Episode 3: Done Burning Out? The 4 phases of growth and sustaining success
Website: David L. Cooperrider Center for Appreciative Inquiry
Guide Sheets for Appreciative Inquiry
Master Sheet for Focus
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
It’s Friday night, and you just walked in the door. You kick off those uncomfortable shoes, change into your PJ’s, and you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. Staring back at you is a worn out woman. She’s got bags under her eyes, her energy seems depleted...and has that pensive line on her forehead always been there?
“Enough”, you say to yourself. Time for some self-care.
You open up the bathroom cabinet and sift through your stash of sheet masks. You grab a cucumber from the fridge and place two cool slices over your eyes. You cue up some meditative nature sounds on Spotify and stretch your tired body out across the couch.
Those juicy masks and self-care moments are a-ok, but the truth is that real nourishment, the kind that fills you up internally, the nourishment that your reflection in the mirror is really asking for...well, that doesn’t come from home spa treatments.
Your body is telling you that it requires more resources.
This has been a wild year for everyone. We’ve been really busy trying to rewire our habits and problem solve under pandemic conditions. But, have we given ourselves the time we need to allow our thoughts, emotions, and mental game to catch up to our physical bodies?
Probably not. Or maybe just not enough.
It’s time for you to fill up the tank of your internal resources and reconnect with your professional groove. It’s nourishment season.
Where do we find nourishment, if it’s not in those home spa treatments? True human nourishment exists in the everyday things. Those small (but big!) things that we do to make ourselves just a little bit healthier and happier.
Today, Karlee asks you to think about what might have accidentally slipped away this year that needs to be called back in. She’ll share the four pillars of being a fully resourced career woman, and how you can reconnect with your natural rhythms and cycles to find that lasting, authentic, soul-satisfying nourishment that you’ve been craving.
If you’re ready to reconnect with your natural rhythm and nourish your being from the inside out, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- 3 reasons why now is the time to refuel professionally (2:10)
- The deeper definition of nourishment (6:25)
- How to realign with the rhythms of nature (12:39)
- What’s missing when your mojo is waning (14:32)
- The Four Pillars of a more fully resourced career woman (14:04)
- Knowing the history of the land you work upon (21:17)
- Why beauty matters (25:41)
- How sisterhood connects us to truth (28:47)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Episode 3: Done Burning Out? The 4 phases of growth and sustaining success
Episode 41: Is Your Work Mojo Down? Here’s 4 Types of Nourishment for the Soul Of Your Career
Episode 35: Trust Your Knowing: How Women Rise From Doubt to Leading Themselves Forward with Suzi Banks Baum
Website: Native Land
Video: TED Talk, Theaster Gates: How to Revive a Neighborhood with Imagination, Beauty, and Art
Making Mandalas
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
February is boundary month, so for the past few episodes, we’ve been exploring every facet of breaking, bridging, building, and most importantly, including ourselves in our boundary practice.
A big part of that work hangs in the vicinity of fear. We’re afraid of how we’ll be perceived if we ask for what we need. We think it’s easier to just say “ok”.
But saying “ok” only ends up being more work for you.
How do we bridge the boundaries we need without letting fear get in the way?
It starts with really understanding the nature of boundaries.
When we’re afraid to set a boundary, it’s often because we question our authority to create it. We may be blocked by an absence of privilege or a lack of inclusivity.
Today, Karlee welcomes Faith Clarke for an eye-opening conversation about boundaries, inclusion, support, and conflict. Faith is the best-selling author of Parenting Like a Ninja: An Autism Mom's Guide to Professional Productivity. From her experience as a computer programer on Wall Street, to raising a child with Autism, she’s discovered a fascination with human motivation and performance psychology. Faith is the co-founder and CEO of Melody of Autism, an educational organization that helps other families with autistic children.
Her experience raising a child with needs that differ from the normative construct shed a light on how this construct really isn’t working for most people. Human beings thrive in environments that allow for connection, so we need to offer a more robust network of support.
Building a better world means normalizing asking for what we want without fear.
It’s time to stop wasting energy on coping, and recognize that when we create a safe place for humans to be exactly who they are, we all thrive.
If you’re ready to embrace inclusivity, starting with yourself, then this episode is for you!
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Why winter is the time for a deep dive, not a lift-off (8:58)
- How fear holds us captive from asking for what we want (12:37)
- Acknowledging how and when we’re coping (17:40)
- Eliminating the categories we create around “support” (22:00)
- Learning through slowing down (34:57)
- Two signs that your ready for more inclusivity (37:02)
- Why conflict is actually constructive (43:17)
- The link between boundaries and power dynamics (48:13)
- Why inclusion needs to come before diversity (59:36)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Enroll In The Boundary Academy before Feb 26th HERE
Book: Parenting Like a Ninja: An Autism Mom's Guide to Professional Productivity by Faith Clarke
Video: Last Week’s Boundary Brunch
Episode 58: Being Lied To? The 4 Types of Power and What to Do When What Someone Says, And What They Do, Are Different
Connect With Faith Clark:
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue.”
-Rainer Maria Rilke
Sometimes when our agenda goes off-track, we can default to viewing it as a disruption. But, if we change our perspective and become open to the flow of the collective conscience, the greatest gifts are waiting to be revealed.
The contents of this episode are one of those gifts.
When conversation is given the space to flow organically, you can hit on something powerful that’s been lying dormant. Through sisterhood and the collective embrace of vulnerability, that thought can finally break out of the mind and into the conversation.
“Who am I in the world?”
This profound question surfaced recently in one of Karlee’s professional circles, and in today’s episode, she’s sharing that conversation with you. This episode features the wisdom of the Council of Boundary Makers, the advisory and support group helping to shape Karlee’s upcoming Boundary Academy.
If we want to create healthy boundaries in our own lives, we can’t do that fully without flipping the coin and considering the boundaries of others that we, ourselves, might be stretching too far, or overstepping completely.
We have to become boundary allies. And that alliance starts with acknowledgment.
It begins with truly looking at the ethics of being a human being on this planet. The very land we occupy can often have an unknown history buried beneath it. The people we love can have beliefs sitting within them that are so contrary to our own that we don’t know how to feel about it. We might think we know how to right the wrongs when we actually don’t understand the nature of the problem at all.
“Where have I allowed harm to occur through not paying attention to something that was important?”
If you’re ready to live the questions and be a humble, participatory student of grace, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- The boundary bridge between doing it all and being a source of support (7:26)
- Coming to terms with the realities of our roots (16:16)
- How the boundaries we set for ourselves actually serve the greater good (18:27)
- Acknowledging our complex histories and contributing to the conversation (22:01)
- How to be a student of grace (27:21)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Boundaries Like A Boss - FREE Course
Episode 65: Feel Like Your Life Isn’t Your Own? How Women Are Building Bridges and Setting Boundaries Like a Boss
Episode 66: Boundary Bravery: How Women are Giving Themselves Permission to Set Boundaries with Amy Ziegert
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
RSVP for the Boundary Brunch Live with Karlee on Feb 12th
Have you ever had a moment where you’ve wondered to yourself “Am I worthy of what this world has to offer?”
If this thought has ever crossed your mind, don’t worry. You’re not crazy, you’re not unworthy, and you’re definitely not alone. This sentiment is all too common for women, especially those of us who are driven and drawn towards positions of leadership.
We get to where we wanna be, but then, somehow, we still manage to get tripped up now and then by obstacles that seem to pile up along the path. Before we know it, we’re not moving so effortlessly anymore. It’s a struggle to keep moving when there are so many hands pulling on our coat-tails.
Eventually, we start to wonder where all of these commitments came from, and why we let so many of them latch onto us in the first place.
When we allow ourselves to be overburdened with all the “yes’s”, it starts to build a wall.
Removing bricks from that wall takes bravery. A lot of it. We actually have to write ourselves permission slips just to relieve ourselves of the guilt. Only then can we make room for what gives us life. So, how do we start? Well, first you need a solid foundation.
This month, we’re focusing on how you can create a sturdy foundation that finally gives you the permission you need to create boundaries before guilt starts to weigh you down.
Karlee’s guest today is Amy Ziegert, a Fortune 200 sales and strategy professional who helps women lean into their fullest potential. She’s also the host of a new and fabulous podcast called Bravefull, where she highlights the ceiling-shattering women who have been brave risk-takers in their own lives and careers.
In this episode, Karlee and Amy talk candidly about knowing when it’s time to jump from situations that aren’t serving you, and how to finally issue yourself that permission slip to set the boundaries you need. Amy explains how you can create your own “boundary budget” so you can keep track of emotional debits and credits, and how to use that as the basis for knowing when it’s time to create a boundary or make a change.
Let’s not wait until the next super crisis to start elevating our boundaries. Learn how to catch those potential potholes early, and save yourself from having to do that eventual roadwork.
If you’re ready to access your inner boundary-maker and become bravefull, then this episode is for you!
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- What writing yourself a permission slip looks like (8:29)
- Summoning bravery by stepping into who you really are (11:16)
- Taking action at that moment of reckoning (15:35)
- Building bridges versus building walls (19:44)
- The contrasting motivations for power (24:45)
- Creating a boundary budget (38:50)
- Why messiness is a virtue (42:26)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Register for the Boundary Brunch on Feb 12th!
Podcast:Bravefull with Amy Ziegert
Website: Bravefull
Boundaries Like A Boss - FREE Course
Episode 65: Feel Like Your Life Isn’t Your Own? How Women Are Building Bridges and Setting Boundaries Like a Boss
Episode 17: Being Self-Full: How to get what you need without being selfish
Connect With Amy Ziegert:
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
RSVP for the Boundary Brunch Live with Karlee on Feb 12th
Ever feel like your spirit is running on empty? Sure, you tick every box on your to-do list, and yes, it gives you a sense of accomplishment. But, you’re just not feeling…. nourished. You’re too busy ticking all the boxes to stop and think about what makes you tick.
Sounds like you might have a boundary problem.
The same way we update our phones and our computer software, we have to keep our boundaries up to date. Every once in a while, we have to re-boot. And for humans, that means re-establishing our boundaries so we don’t burn-out.
Boundaries are at the core of everything that women who do well in the world understand. If we’re not taking care of them, we’re not taking care of ourselves. Broken boundaries can manifest in little bursts and blow-ups when we don't mean it. They can deteriorate relationships. They can actually make us sick and form the root of chronic health problems.
When boundaries need building, bridges lead the way.
In this episode, Karlee shares her favorite b-word...boundaries. She’ll reveal the signs of overwhelm that result from a collapsed boundary, and equip you with the tools you need to repair and reinforce what needs safeguarding. You’ll also learn how to outwit the three myths that scare us away from actually setting those boundaries.
A life without boundaries is a life that is not your own. It’s time to build a bridge that will reconnect you with yourself, and re-establish the boundaries that make “you” thrive.
If you’re ready to start with the small steps and build the bridges that will make you feel a little lighter, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- What happens when the levee stays broken (1:06)
- Symptoms that you’re ready for a boundary upgrade (8:11)
- 3 boundary myths and what works better(12:08)
- What bridge-building looks like (15:29)
- Calculating the cost of boundaries, and thinking outside of the box (21:06)
- The virtues of a boundary maker (24:41)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
RSVP To Attend Karlee's Live Boundary Brunch (on Zoom)
FREE Access to Karlee's Boundaries Like A Boss Online Course
Bridge Built to Bend, Not Break, During an Earthquake
Episode 32: Curing the Knee Jerk “Yes”: Doable Boundaries That Will Set You Free with Nancy Levin
Setting Boundaries Will Set You Free: The Ultimate Guide to Telling the Truth, Creating Connection, and Finding Freedom by Nancy Levin
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
GET FREE INSTANT ACCESS to the ELEVATE WITH "AND" GUIDE Karlee mentions on this episode
You’re scrolling through your phone, and the news is (as always) a never-ending cycle of doom and gloom. So, you close that app, make yourself a cup of tea, light your favorite smelly candle, and cozy up on the couch.
Just when you’ve settled in, your phone pings with an unpleasant email from a co-worker, or another “breaking-news story”. Uggghhh. Why can’t the world just leave me alone?!?!
Our instinct is to feel the negativity of that moment; to let it run through our bodies and change our behavior. And ohhhhhh...the amount of guilt we’d feel if we just ignored it.
Enough already.
In times like these, when your willpower is waning, it’s time to call upon your waypower.
We all know that the big issues the world is facing today aren’t quick-fixes. But, it’s entirely possible to acknowledge the challenging parts and still summon the good parts.
In today’s episode, Karlee reveals why willpower alone won’t get you over the humps in life. If you want to meet the challenges of today, and prep yourself for challenges yet to come, you have to be ready to face the world as one whole, unified being.
Because humans aren’t fragmented. If we want to be sustainable, we have to know how to balance the lows by reaching for the highs.
If this message rings a bell, then you’ve been paying attention.
It’s time to connect the dots and revisit our very first episode of Messy & Magnificent: One Word That Will Elevate Everything You Do. It feels especially poignant these days as we’re witnessing so many changes that feel big and beyond the grasp of our own, individual control.
We need to be reminded of what women have relied on for centuries: our waypower.
Waypower is that ancestral resilience that rests within our bones until it’s called upon. It’s that superpower that’s gonna get us through the tough moments, over the unforeseen humps, and high-five us the other side.
If you’re feeling the weight of the world right now and looking for a little hope to grasp onto, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- The most common characteristic of the driven people Karlee works with (9:39)
- When transformation happens (11:32)
- How to unify your whole being (14:46)
- The difference between willpower and waypower (16:15)
- Karlee’s waypower warrior (17:33)
- The power of AND (20:05)
- How positive psychology helps us bounce back (23:33)
- Traversing our swamps and ponds together (25:17)
- Karlee’s personal moment of calling on her waypower (32:40)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
GET FREE INSTANT ACCESS to the "ELEVATE WITH AND GUIDE" Karlee mentions on this episode
Episode 1: One Word That Will Elevate Everything You Do
Episode 2: Nobody really gets you? How to upgrade your adult relationships
People Mentioned in This Episode:
Dr. Maria Sirois
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
There’s a stack of unanswered emails mounting in your inbox and more than a few text messages that you’ve pushed aside for “later”. There are calls you need to make, deadlines relentlessly flying out the window, and you’re living off of peanut butter and celery because you haven’t been to the grocery store in two weeks.
How did it get to this point? You’re successful. You’re the one who always has her s**t together.
Unfortunately, having it “together” doesn’t make you immune to OVERWHELM.
On top of it all, it’s hard to forget that it’s not just your world that’s being rocked right now. We’ve got bigger issues. There’s a pandemic that’s been raging for nearly a year, we just witnessed an attempted coup at the White House, and the threads of systemic racism and white supremacy are being exposed so vividly that being too “busy” or “uninformed” to address them won’t pass anymore.
Ok, take a moment. Pause. Deep breath. We got you.
In this episode, Karlee is gonna help bring you down from the ledge. She’ll talk about the two most common extremist beliefs that almost all high achievers share, and how you can save yourself from the resulting feelings of overwhelm. She’ll also tell you how these very beliefs tie into the history of white supremacy. Finally, you’ll hear about a tried and true antidote that her clients have found to be the most effective way to get unstuck from that all too common feeling of “too much”.
Throw your hands in the air, fall into a comfy chair, and let out your most powerful exhale of submission. It’s not ok, and we can do something about that. In fact, acknowledging what isn’t ok is our starting point for moving forward.
Next comes rest. Recoup from that pressure you’ve been bearing. Tend to what needs to be acknowledged. Be real. Get vulnerable. Then, we get back out there, together.
We all know that self-care is essential, but we also know that it can’t come at the expense of progress.
Take the time you need. But remember that we have to nurture each other by supporting the collective community. If we sink too deep into our own comfort, we get stuck, and others will pay the price for our inaction.
If you’re ready to look at the world differently, find focus, and off-load that feeling of overwhelm once and for all, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- How our desire for comfort is sabotaging our need for connection (6:38)
- Becoming a true kind of pioneer for change (8:42)
- How being hyper-self-focused can become self-destructive (14:10)
- Why extremism, in all of its forms, causes fragmenting (15:37)
- The antidote to overwhelm (20:02)
- Voices with insights and answers in the space of diversity, equity, and inclusion (21:37)
- Why quick-fixes don’t work in the long run (23:13)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Parenting Like a Ninja: An Autism Mom's Guide to Professional Productivity by Faith Clarke
The Conscious Kid
People Mentioned in This Episode:
Faith Clark- The Melody of Autism on Facebook
Debra Kaufman
Luvvie Ajayi
Brittany Packnett
Alicia Garza
Brené Brown
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Well, we made it! The year (or was it a decade?) 2020 is finally behind us. After such a tumultuous collective experience, the dawn of 2021 brings with it the invitation to integrate rest into your growth strategy.
And, in this time of strategic rest, we have a unique opportunity to think about how we can make our lives in this new 365-day cycle easier on ourselves.
On top of all of the social, political, and health upheavals of the past year, we’ve still had to manage our own lives. That’s no easy feat when you’re accustomed to having a constantly packed calendar. So, rather than making this a year to do more, what if we focused on ways that we could do less?
You’ve just discovered the not-so-secret formula for joy.
If you’ve ever looked at someone you admire and wondered how they seem to be able to do it all, I have some news for you. Nobody has it all figured out. But, those people who seem like they have a relatively stable, healthy grip on life do share one thing in common. They leave enough space for joy.
They know that life isn’t about work-life balance. It's about work-life connection.
In today’s episode, Karlee talks about the Pareto Principle, sometimes referred to as the “80/20 Rule”. She’ll guide you through a quick assessment so you can instantly uncover whether or not you're using your time effectively, and she’ll give you the tools you need in order to drop what’s not working in your life and focus your attention on what is working.
In a world that expects us to keep on adding more and more to our plate, women know that breaking that outdated “stay busy” convention is the key to allowing space for joy.
If you’re ready to invite a little experimentation into your life so you can clear away the clutter, re-claim your time, and invite more joy into your life, this episode is for you!
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- The one personality trait among women who have it “figured out” (2:19)
- Introducing a little experimentation into your career (3:11)
- How embracing the 80/20 rule can help you navigate through personal trauma (9:02)
- The origins of the Pareto Principle (13:27)
- Signs that you might be doing unnecessary work (18:29)
- Emotional indicators of a 20% lifestyle (20:11)
- How to start eliminating the busy work in your life (22:39)
- Personal revelations from Karlee’s business metrics assessment (25:30)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Episode 60: Daring To Pause Before you Plan: Karlee's Nourishing "PPE Method" for Making Your Best Decisions at Work and Beyond, Part of 1 of 3
Episode 61: The Art of Subtraction: How Women Keep Career Plans Simple, Life-Giving And Successful During Complex Times
Episode 19: Sh*t just hit the fan: How We Do Well At Work During Tough Times
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
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As we look to plan a new year, that inevitably means that our schedules fill up with really important tasks, meetings, and projects… right? Well, it could mean all of the above, but it definitely doesn’t have to.
Successful women everywhere know that being busy all the time doesn’t equate to achievement.
Being weighed down with a calendar just means you're busy and that you’re good at filling in the blanks. But, what if I told you that being less available and more choosy about that blank space in your calendar could actually make you more effective?
Time management is a word that gets thrown around among the busy crowd, but the real meaning of that is misunderstood. We think it’s about squeezing as much into those daily hours as humanly possible. The truth is that it really means the opposite.
In today’s episode, Karlee shares the second part of her professional PPE method: planning. She’ll teach you how to recognize and root out complexity, and how you can master the Art of Subtraction.
Finding ways to simplify your life isn’t about being lazy or inactive. It’s about choosing the most important ways to spend your time. It’s running through your daily grind with a fine-toothed comb and getting rid of the clutter that doesn’t need to happen at all, could be done by someone else, or could be drastically simplified.
If you’re ready to learn how to eliminate the clutter in your schedule and create more space in your life, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- How distraction throws us off course (10:17)
- Closing the gap between what we communicate and what’s understood (13:08)
- Using simpler language to make the message clear (15:02)
- The myth of the multitasker (17:12)
- The unconscious fear behind why we delay (17:58)
- How to make your life 3% simpler (19:14)
- 3 steps for streamlining your planning for 2021 (22:02)
- The Art of Subtraction (24:28)
- Scheduling in moments to recharge (28:30)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Karlee’s FREE Course: Boundaries Like a Boss
Episode 60: Daring To Pause Before you Plan: Karlee's Nourishing "PPE Method" for Making Your Best Decisions at Work and Beyond, Part of 1 of 3
Episode 36: Reopening Gently: A Simple Practice to Process What Just Happened and Move Forward with Wisdom and Grace
Study: “Putting a stereotype to the test: The case of gender differences in multitasking costs in task-switching and dual-task situations”
Hirsch, P., Koch, I., & Karbach, J. (2019). Putting a stereotype to the test: the case of gender differences in multitasking costs in task-switching and dual-task situations. Plos One, 14(8). Doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0220150
Study: “The Cost of Interrupted Work: More Speed and Stress”
Mark, G., Gudith, D., & Klocke, U. (2008). The cost of interrupted work. Proceeding of the Twenty-sixth Annual CHI Conference on Human Factors in Computing Systems – CHI 08. Doi: 10.1145/1357054.1357072
Get the Culmination Mastersheet Karlee Mentions In This Episode for Free Below "Episode 36" Here
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
What’s the point of these cold, winter months? Why can’t we just run around outside all year long with sun-kissed shoulders and bask in the brightness?
Well, as nice as that might sound, we need professional downtime. Our bodies need rest, and our minds need pause. Still, “downtime” is just a hard concept to digest. And it doesn't help that we’re conditioned to feel guilty about it.
Despite the dreary mood of winter scenes, those naked branches and gray skies have purpose. When leaves fall from trees and shriveled brown buds drop to the ground, the body of that tree is giving itself permission to rest.
It’s really important that as humans, we do the same. The cycle of the seasons holds purpose, and we zip through it at our own peril. While we might look outside and see a vast stillness, what we’re looking past and through is a whole lotta space. And that space is a lot more fertile than we give it credit for.
It’s in that newly transparent space, the space that was once taken up by distractingly pretty blooms... the space of their absence is where we’ll find answers.
In today’s episode, Karlee talks about the importance of making space for pause. Winter is a time to integrate & marinate. It’s a time for healing the burnout of the hustle season. It’s a culmination. It’s an invitation to rest.
For that, you’ll need your P.P.E. We’re not talking about masks here. This stands for Pause, Plan, and Experiment. This is the season to find space in the void, distinguish the difference between urgency and importance, and to approach things a little more experimentally.
If you’re ready to honor the presence of space in your life, see the unseen, and find meaningful pause, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- What we can learn from the darkness of winter (1:36)
- How to find answers in the stillness (4:40)
- Why you should be paying attention to the unseen (8:30)
- How to equip yourself with P.P.E. (15:36)
- Why pause is necessary to inspire creativity (22:45)
- 5 things that have brought meaning to me this year (25:31)
- Why it’s OK to feel two opposing things at the same time (30:10)
- Why goals aren’t all they’re cracked up to be (32:27)
- The productive power of rest (34:04)
People Mentioned In This Episode:
Dana Lemay
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
NASA: Slime Mold Simulations Used to Map Dark Matter Holding Universe Together
Sunset and Twilight: From the Diaries of 1947-1958 by Bernard Berenson
Karlee’s FREE Course: Boundaries Like a Boss
Episode 1: One Word that Will Elevate Everything You Do
Episode 12: Permission to Rest: And how to have the time to do it!
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
A year ago today, what did your morning routine look like? Maybe you peeled open your eyes as your alarm clock annoyingly assaulted your senses way too early in the morning. You did your hair, put on a sensible outfit, and made the commute to work. You toiled all day, came home tired, and did your best to shut off your brain before crawling into bed. Work. Rest. Repeat.
Oh, how things have changed.
For the better part of a year now, Covid has caused us to slow down. It’s forced us to step out of the hustle and alter our daily routines. If you’ve been able to look away from the general train wreck that has been 2020 and slip on your rose-colored glasses for even a second, you might have noticed that as the pace of life has slowed down, it’s also created space for you to breathe.
In this strange season of relative stillness, is it possible that there’s a gift hidden in there somewhere?
It’s time to ask yourself: Do I need to be going so fast?
Today, Karlee talks to Karin Rozell, a self-proclaimed “business nerd” and marketing mindset teacher. She’s written 2 business books, and created the Happy Little Practice Method to help moms create and scale their businesses.
After consciously defecting from the big city hustle and recalibrating to the rhythms of nature, Karin found that a 'less is more' approach to life and business brought a new sense of calm and clarity to everything she did.
In this episode, she flips our concept of the definition of success into something that’s based less on the traditional model, and shaped instead around the concept of lifestyle richness. Wealth isn’t about collecting cash, it’s about choosing how you spend your day.
The gift hidden in the chaos of this year might actually be simplicity. How can we adopt a minimalist mindset? How can we do less, but do it better?
If you’re ready to unbind yourself from the pressure of constant doing, and transition into a space of peaceful being, then this episode is for you!
Some Questions Karlee Asks:
- How did you transition from doing such big work in the city to running your practice in a totally different way? (7:39)
- Why is small the new big? (13:19)
- How does a lifestyle-rich shift begin to happen? (17:55)
- How do you fan the flames of your focus during Covid? (21:27)
- How do you simplify your social media presence? (27:05)
- What do you do in your practice that might surprise people? (36:05)
- How little is enough? (46:40)
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- What happens when you synch your work to the natural rhythm of nature. (9:25)
- Why that feeling of peace might mean you’ve made it to where you want to be. (14:00)
- “Happy” as a business strategy. (18:22)
- Why the feeling of overwhelm is a message to simplify. (22:20)
- The human value of exposing our “wildly imperfect” moments. (31:25)
- Why self-care isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity. (39:12)
- How to create your personal definition of wealth. (51:05)
People Mentioned In This Episode:
Sonia Renee Taylor
Dana Lemay
Fabienne Fredrickson
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
The Happy Little Practice Method
Small is the New Big
The One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results by Gary Keller
Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown
Jerry Before Seinfeld
Episode 15: Building the Habit of Courage: How to stop enduring what drains you with Dana Lemay
Connect with Karin Rozell:
Website
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Get FREE Access To The Power Assessment Guide Karlee Mentions In This Episode
What comes to mind when you think of a powerful person? Historically, the image conjured up might be that of a seasoned politician, or a ruthless corporate mogul. It might look like that CEO who wielded ultimate authority; the one who kept you in your place, had all the answers, and always had the final say.
If that characterization of power sounds familiar, then you’ve experienced the most traditional expression of the 4 Powers. Yep, there are actually 4 types of power, and 3 out of these 4 have for too long been overlooked and undervalued. Since they’ve been virtually absent from the existing power narrative, we’ve been conditioned to view power through tunnel vision, believing it to be heavy-handed and authoritative. Why has this single expression of power been so dominant?
The answer is scarcity. When powerful people believe that power is scarce, that belief forces them to grasp onto it for dear life, refusing to share it with anyone else. The truth is that power is actually abundant, and the more we share it, the greater it becomes. A belief in the abundance of power is the basis for real, genuine power. The kind of power that helps everyone rise, not just the person in charge.
In this episode, Karlee defines The 4 Powers at play in the world around us. She explains how we can move beyond the myth that power is scarce and embrace the abundance of power that actually serves us. Invoking the wisdom of Brené Brown around vulnerability in leadership, Karlee reiterates the true definition of a leader as someone who brings out the potential in people and processes.A great leader empowers the people around them, knowing there will always be enough power to go around.
Whether your life has been enhanced by a great leader, or you’re struggling to endure an ineffective one, this bumpy year has been living proof that human beings need nourishment over punishment. We deserve to exist within positive power structures, and we should expect nothing less from leaders, mentors, and above all, ourselves.
If you’re ready to explore how power, in all of its forms, is showing up in your workplace and your personal life, then this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- The true definition of a leader (6:32)
- The purpose of your power (9:26)
- The 4 Types of Power that manifest among people (13:24)
- The repercussions of a scarcity mindset (15:52)
- The potential of empowerment (20:55)
- Why power is infinite & how we can make it grow (23:31)
- Elements that exist where shared power is present (24:15)
- The Godzilla Effect: And how to know what to do when someone’s words don’t match their actions (25:07)
People Mentioned In This Episode:
Brené Brown
Tom Steding
Alicia Garza
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Get FREE Access to Karlee’s Power Assessment Guide
Buildings and Bridges by Ani DiFranco
Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts.by Brené Brown
Real Teams Win: What Smart Leaders Need to Know Now About Achieving Peak Performance by Thomas L. Steding
Episode 57: Trying To Do It All Yourself? How smart leaders stop being the hero and start building emotional integrity with Tom Steding
The Purpose of Power: How We Come Together When We Fall Apart by Alicia Garza
Black Lives Matter
Lady Don't Take No Podcast with Alicia Garza
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
People see you as someone who’s got it together. You prefer to have an organized home, you strive for meaningful relationships, you’re juggling one opportunity after another around work, and care that your kids do their homework and eat their vegetables. You get all the accolades, but something in you still isn’t satisfied.
Could having it all actually be weighing you down?
This culturally programmed notion of what success looks like is actually an antiquated idea - and it could be responsible for holding you back. The truth is that the pressure we put on ourselves to know all of the answers and be in control actually impedes our success instead of contributing to it.
You can release that pressure valve with this simple admission: “I don’t know everything. And it’s ok!” That, my friends, is an example of radical empathy.
In this episode, Karlee welcomes Tom Steding, an expert in the convergence of advanced technology and depth psychology. Tom has been the CEO of 12 high tech startups. Through those experiences, he’s learned that people can’t be managed by fancy formulas because humans just aren’t predictable. Recognizing this complexity as a part of the human element, he developed an active interest in depth psychology. This led him to apply a more empathetic model in the workplace, which ultimately helped him to build more effective, performance-driven teams.
Tom talks about the myth of the solo hero, the person who does whatever it takes to sit at the top of today’s hierarchical leadership model. These are the people in positions of authority who believe wholeheartedly in the superiority of their own capacity for decision making, the Narcissuses among us.
The problem with that style of leadership is that it doesn’t work for thinking, feeling humans.
And, thankfully, it’s quickly becoming obsolete in favor of a new model of teamwork that’s based on emotional agility. When teams are created with our humanness in mind, and our individual psychological safety at their core, everyone on that team thrives.
It’s time to stop being the solo hero and start recognizing the power of your lateral network.
If you’re ready to unleash your inner Athena and practice effective, empathy-driven, lateral leadership, then this episode is for you.
Some Questions Karlee Asks:
- How did you get from an Engineering and Management mindset to a place of being so focused on trust and teamwork? (9:26)
- How do you delineate the difference between a real team and a fake team? (15:26)
- How is the myth of Narcissus being played out in the boardroom? (19:47)
- How does a person who's in that mindset start to make the shift into being even just 3% more comfortable with the unknown? (25:36)
- What is the connection between marketing and empathy? (27:01)
- How do we spot dysfunctional thinking? (40:46)
- What do you mean by emotional integrity? (44:37)
- Why do you think some of these outdated leadership models are still happening? (48:55)
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Why people and predictability aren’t compatible. (10:20)
- The disproportionate effect of holding it in. (13:19)
- The 3 Principles of building a safe and supportive network. (17:51)
- How dogmatism kills creativity. (21:29)
- How to take the Empathy Challenge. (27:39)
- The truly important layers within a team. (37:09)
- The 4 Archetypal Dimensions of Mindset. (38:38)
- How complementary twinning can resolve an impasse. (42:44)
- Why 87% of startups risk failure. (49:31)
- How you can be a part of the conversation. (53:52)
People Mentioned In This Episode:
Dr. Howard Teich
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Built on Trust – How to Gain Competitive Advantage in Any Organization by Thomas L. Steding
Real Teams Win: What Smart Leaders Need to Know Now About Achieving Peak Performance by Thomas L. Steding
Thirteeners: Why Only 13 Percent of Companies Successfully Execute Their Strategy--And How Yours Can Be One of Them by Daniel Prosser
Connect with Tom Steading:
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
If you’ve been a human on this planet in the year 2020, your life probably looks a lot different than it did at this time last year. The pandemic has left its mark on everything. Your work situation probably looks a little different than it used to, relationships feel different, the entire education system has been rocked, and our social lives have become less tactile and more virtual.
Every one of these changes eats up a little bit more of our time as we try to mold our old routines around the present circumstances. And as we watch that time disappear into the ether, we start to feel an abundance of something else: scarcity.
When we feel like we don’t have enough time, that awareness of scarcity can easily ripple into other aspects of our lives. It trickles into our perception of confidence, the quality of our relationships, and even the state of our finances. But, if we can unburden ourselves from the unnecessary with intention as our guide, we can lighten that entire load and come up stronger.
This is the moment to step back and really evaluate how your time is being spent.
In this episode, Karlee gives us a glimpse inside the rules her and her clients stop following to break out of hustleculture to help you reclaim more of your time. She’ll show you how to foster deeper, more authentic connections by making yourself less available. Through bending deep-rooted good student behavior and breaking from internal doctrines that no longer serve you, you’ll discover a path towards release that will leave you feeling lighter, more grounded, and more focused than ever.
Today, we’re evaluating the rules we live by to determine which ones you should be breaking. Stop being the A+ student and start breaking the rules.
If you’re ready to find out which rules you’re living by that deserve to be broken, then this episode is for you.
In This Episode You Will Learn:
- The effect of arbitrary rules versus intentional rules. (3:30)
- Why good student habits might be holding you back. (10:24)
- Questions you can ask yourself to get unstuck. (13:58)
- Six most rules that Karlee and her company break often (16:32)
- Why connection isn’t about quantity. (17:32)
- The curative power of Culmination Week. (20:47)
- Why you need a vacation runway. (21:56)
- How holding space for magic leaves room for possibilities. (24:34)
- Why listening is more powerful than talking. (27:14)
- What that knot in your stomach is trying to tell you. (30:37)
- Why you should accentuate what sets you apart. (31:44)
People Mentioned In This Episode:
Dr. Maria Sirois
Tara Mohr
Dr. Carol Dweck
Rachel Simmons
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Episode 3: Done Burning Out? The 4 Phases of Growth and Sustaining Success
Episode 49: Masterful Storytelling: How to Share Your Stories to Transform and Engage with Others with Dr. Maria Sirois
What to Remember by Dr. Maria Sirois
Playing Big: Practical Wisdom for Women Who Want to Speak Up, Create, and Lead by Tara Mohr
Girls Leadership
Opinion: Why do women fail?
Episode 33: Got Information Overload? How to get clear and sturdy so you can keep rising right now
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
We’ve all had those days. You know, those days: the kind that make you want to turn off your phone, pull the covers back over your head, and just disappear for a while. But what do we do instead? We get up, we drink way too much coffee, and then look at ourselves in the mirror and tell ourselves to power up and push through - which is the exact opposite of what your body is signaling you to do.
If that pressure is so unnatural, then why do we force ourselves to abide by it?
In this episode, Karlee sits down for a vibrant conversation with Michela O’Connor Abrams, former CEO of Dwell Magazine, and Owner of Moca+ in San Francisco. Her agency puts design thinking at the forefront of media campaigns for an impressive list of global clientele.
Michela is a sought after keynote speaker who shares her wisdom of leadership to help people better understand how to effectively inspire teams to work as a whole. Michela believes in the power of the collective team. When a leader is grounded, humble in their execution of authority, and asking questions rather than stating demands, the organization thrives.
In order to achieve all of those things, leaders need to approach their teams as humans. Her leadership philosophy is based on the idea that we’re not put in these human bodies, full of feelings, just to bottle up our emotions and pretend that everything is ok. Bottling it up just gets you behind.
Today we’re talking about a new form of leadership that’s actually built around humbleness - as in, groundedness. It’s not modesty, and it’s definitely not weakness. It’s an example of leadership that has driven Michela’s success. Knowing what to share and when to share it will actually strengthen the tapestry of your company, and the entire collective fabric of women in leadership.
If you’re ready to find out how to show strength through vulnerability, effectively process your feelings, and help build the greater collective consciousness of women allies everywhere, then this episode is for you.
Some Questions I Ask:
- What are some of the entry-level steps that got you interested in design and leadership? (7:39)
- How do you know when it’s time to move on? (10:27)
- How did you first recognize that humility was an important component of who you were? (15:01)
- What does resilience look like when you're not toughing it out? (31:50)
- How did you gauge what was appropriate to talk about with your team in moments of vulnerability? (40:51)
- If you came with a warning label, what would it say? (50:41)
- What is one thing you know to be true? (52:38)
In This Episode You Will Learn:
- Why it’s ok not to know everything (9:27)
- What humility in leadership looks like (13:43)
- How to know when it’s time to speak up and when it’s time to observe (22:27)
- How shaking things up can actually result in better outcomes (25:54)
- The true definition of resilience (32:28)
- How to partake in the collective conscience (45:28)
- How to identify what you really want (51:16)
People Mentioned In This Episode:
Shelley Tatum Kieran
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Episode 48: Rising Together: Hear Revolutionary Career-Driven Women Share Their Wits & Wisdom Inside Our Podcast Pajama Party
Collective Conscience — The MOCA+ Salon Series
The Thank-You Project: Cultivating Happiness One Letter of Gratitude at a Time by Nancy Davis Kho
Connect with Michela O'Connor Abrams:
MOCA+
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
We owe so much to the women who came before us, and equally to the ones out there today, making waves and fully embracing themselves in the modern world. The emotional memories of the women that have paved paths rest deep within our bones, and it empowers us to be our best, most authentic selves.
You are the bridge between the courageous women that came before you, and the ones who will look up to you in years to come. Now it’s up to us to pay our knowledge forward, and tell our stories to future generations.
In part two of our One Year Anniversary series, we’re revisiting the most impactful and powerful messages in carefully selected interviews from just a few of the magnificent women we’ve had on the podcast. Through the willingness of each of these women to share their time and stories, we’ve explored some of the most important themes that I know have helped listeners discover valuable wisdom that has made a difference in their own lives.
This is a master collection of episodes featuring universal topics like embracing who we are in the world today, setting boundaries, honoring our instincts, and believing in the power of our own stories.
There’s never been a better time to hear these messages. As we’re all adjusting to life under the influence of a pandemic, doing our best to manage the stress and uncertainty that an election year (here in the US) brings. As we rise together in the anticipation of a coming new year, let us hear the wisdom in these stories. Let us embed this confidence, strength and empowerment in our bones so that these are the things that future generations of human women carry in themselves.
If you’re ready to revisit, implement, and bestow the bounty of truth and wisdom carried in the stories of these women, then this episode is for you. May it remind you that your story is also essential, and needs to be told.
In This Episode You Will Learn:
- How we carry the experiences of our ancestors into our present-day lives (6:34)
- Understanding the lasting legacy of the patriarchy and how we live it (10:50)
- Why boundaries are the secret to reclaiming your time and energy (12:16)
- Why the concept of “noble self-sacrifice” isn’t acceptable (15:46)
- How to tap into your intuition, and why it’s an underappreciated asset in business (20:32)
- You Holy Knowing: How women elevate from doubt to gaining confidence (23:17)
- An exercise in hearing your own holy knowing (25:24)
- How being unapologetically yourself can guide you to a place of greatness (26:37)
- Leveraging your values to reflect who you really are, and making it work for what you do (28:40)
- Why our stories matter and the generational value in telling them (31:35)
- How we open the door of joyful possibilities (35:08)
Episodes Mentioned:
- Episode 22: Patriarchy Stress Disorder: Removing invisible barriers to your joy and fulfillment with Dr. Valerie Rein
- Episode 32: Curing the Knee Jerk “Yes”: Doable Boundaries That Will Set You Free with Nancy Levin
- Episode 26: Self-Sacrifice Is Not The Future of Business or Medicine with Shavawn Boyer, RN
- Episode 15: Building the Habit of Courage: How to stop enduring what drains you with Dana Lemay
- Episode 35: Trust Your Knowing: How Women Rise From Doubt to Leading Themselves Forward with Suzi Banks Baum
- Episode 47: Single Mom Strong: How Our Body Leads Us Into Courageous Activism for Ourselves and Others with Lanna Brown
- Episode 40: Emotional Success: How to Leverage Your Unique Values Like the World’s Best Brands do with Farryn Weiner
- Episode 49: Masterful Storytelling: How to Share Your Stories to Transform and Engage with Others with Dr. Maria Sirois
Connect with Guests:
Dr. Valerie Rein
Nancy Levin
Shavawn Boyer, RN
Dana Lemay
Suzi Banks Baum
Lanna Brown
Farryn Weiner
Dr. Maria Sirois
People Mentioned:
Sonya Renee Taylor
Stacey Abrams
Nse’ Ufot - CEO of the New Georgia Project
Helen Butler - Executive Director of the Georgia Coalition for the People’s Agenda
Deborah Scott - Executive Director of Georgia Strategic Alliance for New Directions and Unified Policies (GA STAND-UP)
Tamieka Atkins - Executive Director of ProGeorgia
Reverend Raphael Warnock
Jon Ossoff
Resources Mentioned:
Boundaries Like A Boss FREE Online Course with Karlee
Patriarchy Stress Disorder: The Invisible Inner Barrier to Women’s Happiness And Fulfillment by Dr. Valerie Rein
The Body Is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love by Sonya Renee Taylor
Setting Boundaries Will Set You Free: The Ultimate Guide to Telling the Truth, Creating Connection, and Finding Freedom by Nancy Levin
Make Sure All People Get to Vote By Supporting the Georgia Senate Seat Run-off: GASenate.com
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Contact Karlee if You Have Access to N95 Masks in Size Small for A Frontline Worker: info@everybodythrive.com
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
We spend a lot of time working really hard to get “there.” Once we’ve arrived, we’re pretty quick to move the goal post ahead a few more inches. We keep moving, hustling, and pushing to be our best selves. But every once in a while, we’re reminded to pause. We’re reminded to take stock and look around us, and revel in what we’ve created. For me, that moment is now. Friends, we have created an ENTIRE YEAR of Messy & Magnificent podcast episodes!!
This podcast was created to help women rise up to meet and acknowledge our greatest, most authentic selves in our careers and beyond. Messy and Magnificent exists so we can connect and learn from one another. It’s a place where we’re able to encourage each other to activate, to be vulnerable, and to uncover that bright light that shines within every single one of us.
Over the course of the last year, we’ve come together in this sacred space to focus on our well-being, deepen our relationships, and accelerate our careers. Ultimately, we’ve strengthened our understanding of ourselves. I’m honored, humbled, and incredibly excited to continue sharing this space with you. You are showing up for yourself, and it’s time to celebrate!!
Whether you’ve been on this magnificent learning curve with us all year long or this is your first time, this Best of episode is like having our richest moments right in one place. We’re recapping relatable truths, soul-shaking ah-ha moments, and the meteoric nuggets of wisdom that have helped us all breakthrough this year. This is the moment to raise your teacup and toast our messy & magnificent selves!
This is our 1 Year Anniversary Special, and we’re celebrating the abundance of Wisdom On Tap: What IS Working!
In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
- The one word that changes everything. (7:56)
- The 3 pillars of creating healthy boundaries. (10:27)
- Why rest should be a part of your journey, and not the destination. (17:12)
- What it is you’re actually craving when life feels off balance. (21:21)
- Why it all circles back to self-care, and how you can make it a priority. (24:36)
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Upgrade Your Boundaries On The Spot
Episode 1: One Word that Will Elevate Everything You Do
Episode 4: Hit Your Limit? The 5 Doable Steps to Setting Realistic Boundaries
Episode 12: Permission to Rest: And How to Have the Time to Do It
Episode 20: The Antidote to Overwhelm- How to Stay Steady Within Yourself In Moments of Uncertainty
Connect With Karlee:
Website
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
You’ve just received the email you’ve been waiting for. Earlier in the day, you outlined exactly what you needed from your assistant, and reminded her of the tight deadline. But when you open the document, it feels like a boulder hit. Your cheeks get hot, palms are sweating...it’s nothing like what you had asked for. If this sounds familiar, you’ve no doubt wondered how this kind of thing happens. And your directions were so explicit. Why don’t people do what you’re asking them to do?
In this episode, Karlee welcomes a special guest who will enlightens our understanding of communication, and strengthens our ability to connect. Since he (yep, our first male guest!) was 16 years old, Jack Mason-Goodall has dedicated his life to working alongside people with autism and other developmental differences. After studying psychology in the UK, Jack moved to the USA to train in specialized play therapy, becoming a global play therapy consultant. After a decade in the nonprofit world, he founded Autism Optimism International in 2020, a support organization for families touched by autism all over the world.
It’s really easy to forget that communication is, at minimum, a two-way street, and there’s more than one cognitive being in every equation. Processing information involves a lot more than simply listening and doing. Language travels through a complex web of environments, emotions, and experiences on the road to comprehension and action. It’s time to recognize that we live in a neurodiverse world. When someone's actions don’t match our intentions, we can actually keep the door open by choosing acceptance and curiosity instead of defaulting to judgment.
If you’re ready to become a better communicator, have more open and meaningful interactions with other humans, and create deeper connections with the people in your life, then this episode was made for you.
Some Questions Karlee Asks:
- What drew you towards working with autism? (9:07)
- Where have you noticed judgment show up in your life? (14:17)
- What’s an example of a typical judgment you see in your work? (18:14)
- How does our cultural lack of permission to ask for help show up in the parents you work with? (22:48)
- How do you care for your emotional well-being? (34:49)
In This Episode You'll Learn:
- An example of seeing the world through someone else’s eyes (10:19)
- Why judgment closes the door on connection (13:22)
- Why being a parent is like being a CEO (21:16)
- The relationship between emotional well-being and career success (24:20)
- The magic word that can help you shift from judgment towards acceptance (30:33)
- Why neurodiversity is an invitation (39:32)
- The question you should be asking yourself right now (44:02)
Connect With Jack Mason Goodall:
- Autism Optimism International Website
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
- Jack’s Self Care Class
- Free Talks Series
Connect With Karlee:
- Website
- Upgrade Your Boundaries On The Spot
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
There you are, working diligently to get something done, sticking to your commitment to pick up the tasks your coworkers or employees needed help with. But now it’s 7 p.m. on Friday, and you would rather be able to stop working and get the essential moment to recharge that you know you need. You ask yourself, “Why did I say yes to doing this?”
If this feels familiar to you, here’s what I want you to know: Women have not been taught how to make decisions. Instead, we’ve been taught how to default.
In this episode, Karlee shares her process for making fully-informed decisions and provides the tools to avoid slipping into a default “yes.” At the heart of it, this episode is all about up-leveling yourself and reclaiming your time, energy, life and best work. Karlee provides case studies of how real women shift their decision-making process, and how it’s opened up new doors for them on the spot.
Karlee covers three main topics in this episode: what causes women to default rather than discern, the four acts of discernment that allow women to feel satisfied with their careers and lives, and a step-by-step process for making "right decisions".
Tune in to this episode to kick off a lifelong conversation about your own discernment, and begin the journey into a more beautiful career and life than you have imagined.
In This Episode You Will Learn:
- How stepping into the role of making decisions for your own life leads to experiencing a life of excellence. (9:42)
- Why we don’t always know the answer to a decision before us. (16:22)
- The 4 Acts of Discernment. (20:10)
- How to discern if a decision even needs to involve you. (20:54)
- How your thoughts and environments affect your ability to make decisions. (25:55)
- How to “try on” potential decisions. (40:17)
Get in touch with Karlee Here
People Mentioned In This Episode:
Nancy Levin
Martha Graham
Glennon Doyle
Suzi Banks Baum
Dana Lemay
Lakshmi Voelker
Resources Mentioned:
Episode 32 – Curing the Knee Jerk “Yes”: Doable Boundaries That Will Set You Free with Nancy Levin
Episode 35 – Trust Your Knowing: How Women Rise From Doubt to Leading Themselves Forward with Suzi Banks Baum
Episode 15 – Building the Habit of Courage: How to stop enduring what drains you
Episode 24 – Hearing The Answers Within You: How Lakshmi Voelker Re-invented Her Business And Our World
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
As a high-achieving woman, you have new and great ideas all the time. Inspiration visits you, excitement builds up and you start laying out every detail in your plan of action and what barriers you’ll have to work through. Well, all except one: doubt.
Though doubt, on the surface, looks like a barrier, it’s actually the sign of a good idea. It’s a sign that you are stepping out of a smaller version of yourself and into a new opportunity.
In this short and yet power-packed episode, Karlee shares all about how to deal with doubt. Instead of keeping doubt at bay or choosing to ignore it, Karlee encourages you to cultivate a relationship with your doubt and understand why it shows up for you. Additionally, you'll learn how to discern between what is your own doubt, what thoughts or feelings you’ve absorbed from those around you, and what role cultural conditioning plays in fueling doubt.
Tune in to learn how you can begin a conversation with your sense of doubt, stop spending your energy on shoving it down, and start reclaiming your time.
In This Episode You Will Learn:
- How doubt shows up alongside every new good idea. (5:44)
- How to keep self-doubt in check. (7:58)
- 3 things that happen when you invite doubt to the table. (11:03)
- How cultural conditioning results in doubting that it’s okay to receive help. (13:14)
- What your doubt is here to teach you. (18:35)
- How Karlee addressed with the doubt and impostor syndrome she experienced around starting a podcast. (19:30)
- What questions to ask yourself when doubt shows up. (23:33)
Get in touch with Karlee.
Messy & Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
You are a living breathing archive of hard-won wisdom and experience. On purpose or not, you've been collecting valuable lessons in your personal and professional life, and some people would be in awe to learn from you. But how do you share your story in a way that captivates and motivates those listening, and how do you know which stories to share in the first place?
Human beings are hard-wired to engage deeply with story. Storytelling is more than entertainment; when done well, it opens the door to the best of what is possible for us next. If you are game to inspire, connect with, and motivate others in transformative ways, masterful storytelling is an essential business tool; the impacts are endless.
In this episode, Karlee has the pleasure of welcoming back Dr. Maria Sirois to the podcast. She is a master teacher, facilitator, author, speaker, and positive psychologist focused on the resilience of the human spirit. Throughout their conversation, Maria shares the research behind why Storytelling is such an impactful mode of communication, what elements make up a Story that lands well with the audience, and some of the most common mistakes accidentally cause an audience to zone out so you can be sure your stories landed well.
If you, a human and professional woman in this world, are looking to amplify your voice and share your experiences in a way that opens the doors of possibility for you and all those you connect with, this is the episode for you.
Some Questions Karlee Asks:
- Why does Story matter? (8:15)
- What's an example of Storytelling being used particularly well in a professional capacity? (10:09)
- Why is Storytelling such a compelling way of gathering people around an idea or concept, versus the facts and data? (16:56)
- What's a question for someone to ask themselves to begin sharing Story?
- What Storytelling practices don't work? (25:28)
- How do you practice sharing a Story? (27:52)
- Who gets a seat on the life raft in your life? (36:36)
In This Episode You'll Learn:
- How Stories expand the realm of possibilities in life. (8:18)
- What makes Story work? (12:48)
- The 3 layers that make Storytelling the most impactful way of communication. (17:39)
- How to know which Stories you should share. (19:40)
- The 2 most common mistakes people make around Storytelling. (27:11)
- About Maria's next project: What to Remember. (32:42)
- What elements Maria consciously leaves off her life raft. (43:18)
Connect with Maria Sirois:
Maria Sirois' Website
Contact Maria Sirois
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
What to Remember: FREE Video Series by Dr. Maria Sirois
Navigating a Peaceful Transition with Dr. Maria Sirois & Karlee Fain
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In less than a year, the Messy & Magnificent podcast has reached 10,000 listeners all over the world, it's time for celebration! While it sure feels like magic, there is method that Karlee employes to get these kinds of results. Hint: it's not about working super hard or being some type of genius.
So to mark this milestone, and share what's working, Karlee sent out an invitation to everyone who listens to the podcast around the world to join her (and previous podcast guests!) for a cozy hour to gather. Within just a few minutes, the women who joined in began sharing immensely powerful experiences, opening up to offer some insights they’ve gained over the last six months, share their successes and the challenges they’re still up against.
In your PJs or not, this episode will give you a cozy sense of what happens when professional women gather to nourish themselves and each other. And you'll learn what specific practices Karlee attributes to the success of this podcast and her coaching practice.
Some Questions Karlee Asks At the Party:
- If you had a warning label, what would it say? (13:09)
- What’s something from the podcast that’s stuck with you? (14:56)
- What does it physically feel like in your body when something’s right? (21:48)
- What are you letting go of that’s not working for you? (37:40)
- What’s one thing you know to be true? (55:56)
In This Episode You Will Learn:
- The myths that restrict the professional growth of driven women. (3:10)
- How life can shift when you start taking time for yourself. (15:26)
- How upgrading your language to say “and” rather than “but” can be a game-changer. (18:15)
- How to tap into your "Holy Knowing". (22:58)
- How your epigenetics may influence how you interact with the world around you. (28:00)
- Karlee’s Culmination Practice: How we dare to pause and gleam the best wisdom about what just happened. (32:25)
- Why it’s not necessary to “stay busy.” (41:20)
- The greatest gift that this podcast has given Karlee. (52:52)
People Mentioned:
Dr. Maria Sirois
Ginni Saraswati
Lakshmi Voelker
Shavawn Boyer
Suzi Banks Baum
Dr. Valerie Rein
Resources:
Get the Culmination Mastersheet Karlee Mentions In This Episode For Free Below
Episode 6: Feeling The Holiday Stress? Here’s a framework for more ease during full times with Maria Sirois
Episode 15: Building the Habit of Courage: How to Stop Enduring What Drains You with Dana Lemay
Episode 21: Creating the Career & Life You Want: Even if Others Disagree or Don’t Get It with Ginni Saraswati
Episode 22: Patriarchy Stress Disorder: Removing invisible barriers to your joy and fulfillment with Dr. Valerie Rein
Episode 24: Hearing the Answers Within You: How Lakshmi Voelker Re-invented Her Business and Our World
Episode 26: Self-Sacrifice is Not the Future of Business or Medicine with Shavawn Boyer, RN
Episode 35: Trust Your Knowing: How Women Rise from Doubt to Leading Themselves Forward with Suzi Banks Baum
Patriarchy Stress Disorder by Dr. Valerie Rein
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Authenticity is the buzzword on social media in the business world right now. But there is a difference between authenticity and "polished vulnerability" or just plain oversharing.
A few months ago, Karlee noticed Lanna Brown shift the way she shows up on social media, and the immediate outpouring of support and engaged she created - connecting with people in meaningful ways and bolstering her community. She has rucked up the courage to demonstrate what sharing your can look like, and the ways it's been therapeutic to set herself from the confines of "having to say things just right".
In this episode, Karlee interviews Lanna Brown, a personal fitness trainer and coach in the Berkshires. Lanna shares about the personal revelations that have made her "Single Mom Strong" and how taking a chance to speak up gave her power, clarity, and passion to move forward.
Tune in to be inspired by Lanna’s journey and learn how to start including your voice in the global conversation happening online in a way that true and unique for you.
Some Questions Karlee Asks Lanna:
- What made you decide to turn up the volume on your social media posts? (6:07)
- How is physical well-being and activism connected in your world? (12:54)
- How can somebody begin to reconnect to their body? (16:30)
- What are you noticing about speaking up more? (20:56)
- What’s one thing that surprised you about the experience of sharing more of how you think and feel in the world? (24:58)
- Tell us a little bit more about what you’re working on. (35:59)
In This Episode You’ll Learn:
- What it means to be “single mom strong.” (11:16)
- How Lanna practically prioritizes her physical health in her day to day life. (13:04)
- How speaking out is liberating Lanna. (21:05)
- How share our voice leads to more authentic connections. (25:30)
- Why Lanna chose to start speaking up now. (28:31)
- How Lanna moved away from living to meet someone else’s expectations. (34:42)
People Mentioned:
Terry Tempest Williams
Suzi Banks Baum
Brené Brown
Connect with Lanna:
Coaching with Lanna
Facebook Fitness Community
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
You’ve got a full plate for the week: meetings, emails, little fires to put extinguish at work, a family and a life to tend to. Maybe you’ve gotten caught up in the movement of life, and although you do plenty throughout each day, you still feel like there’s still so much more to do.
If this resonates with you, ask yourself this question: what’s one thing that you can do this week that would make everything else a little bit easier?
In this episode, Karlee shares with you a foundational awareness that has made a tremendous difference in reducing both her professional worries and stress, and helped her let go of the unattainable concept of “doing things perfectly.” This foundational awareness is all about how to prioritize your time and fan the flames of your focus onto the one or two things that actually need to be addressed. Karlee wraps up this awareness with a grab-n-go "focus sandwich" that will give you a quick scoop of clairty about where to focus on the spot.
Tune in to learn strategies around how to prioritize your time, center your focus on what truly matters, and make it possible to genuinely live into your life, career, and relationships.
In This Episode You Will Learn:
- What Karin Witzig Rozell taught me about the importance of focus in our current economy. (8:46)
- What’s squashing our mental faculties to create and come up with productive solutions in life and work. (11:39)
- What is soft focus? (12:23)
- How focusing on one small, simple solution can make everything else easier. (17:18)
- How to make it possible to live into the one small solution you will focus on this week. (20:31)
People I Mention:
Karin Witzig Rozell
Resources I Mention:
You Are Invited: RSVP For Our Podcast Pajama Gathering Of Women
Episode 7: How to Set Your Best Goals & Finally Follow Through on Things
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
You’re working as hard as you can, trying to get everything possible done before someone or something else calls for your attention. When you first started your career, it felt essential to answer all those calls, to stretch yourself, and appear superhuman to your coworkers, clients, and boss.
Here’s the truth: Hustling can only get you so far. What worked then may not work for you now. In fact, it may hinder your ability to be productive, connect with others, and ultimately take care of yourself along the way.
In this episode, Karlee interviews Marla Mattenson, who is an internationally recognized expert that works with thought leaders and partners on all topics surrounding love and business. She effectively utilizes her background in neuroscience and mathematics to guide individuals to unlock their passion, financial success, and joy.
Throughout our conversation, you’re going to hear Marla’s take on the five types of intimacy and practical tools to help you succeed in life, love, and at work. She breaks down why “hustle culture” is unsustainable, five steps to learning to receive, and how to create space in your schedule.
Tune in to learn Marla Mattenson’s practical tips to staying focused, and getting focused, grounded, and present.
Some Questions Karlee Asks:
- How does working in neurology and mathematics give you a different perspective on intimacy and relationships? (8:03)
- How do driven women learn to surrender and relax without things falling apart? (12:27)
- What ways are you seeing the collective consciousness present within women right now in your practice? (20:10)
- What does it look like to increase your capacity to receive? (39:51)
- How can you ease the transition between who you were and who you’re growing into, when the people around you don't understand that you are changing? (47:02)
In This Episode You'll Learn:
- Why holding the duality of your heart and mind is essential to intimacy, life, and business. (8:14)
- What it means to truly and powerfully surrender. (12:56)
- Why it’s essential to schedule space and creative time to stay grounded and present. (16:42)
- How hustling is both initially effective and extremely limiting. (25:29)
- What it means to be open to receiving. (26:39)
- The Five Steps of Receiving. (35:29)
- Marla’s technique for increasing your capacity to receive. (41:09)
Resources Mentioned:
Episode 41: Is Your Work Mojo Down? Here’s 4 Types of Nourishment for the Soul of Your Career
Connect with Marla:
MarlaMattenson.com
Instagram: @theintimacyexperts
People Mentioned:
Paul Selig
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Tell me if this sounds familiar:
As you go about your workday, your phone is ringing and pinging constantly, someone in your household continuously interrupts your flow, or maybe you’re the go-to person for many people in your life. Your attention gets split in multiple directions, and by the end of the day, you’re left with the leftover crumbs of energy that you need to apply to the work that’s important to you.
So, how can you shift the ways you spend your energy to take care of the things that are important to you?
In this episode, Karlee shares the 6 accidental roles that women take on that are not within your job description and ultimately zap your time and energy. She shares research to reorient the ways you see your role within your family, friend circle, and your work environment, shedding light on how to step away from these unofficial jobs and step into your fullest self.
Remember: You are not a business in personal liquidation - you are not obligated to sacrifice yourself for others.
Tune in to learn the rule to help you promote yourself and resign with grace from the unofficial roles you may have taken on.
In This Episode You Will Learn:
- The foundational mindset that allows women to resign from the unofficial jobs that drain them. (7:18)
- What 6 unofficial roles women do in addition to their actual jobs. (11:57)
- What it means to be the zookeeper of everyone else’s emotions. (12:14)
- How boundaries can help you prevent interruptions while you’re getting work done. (13:46)
- Why being someone’s first-responder may not actually be in their best interest. (18:23)
- How being “the fixer” may be of disservice to yourself and others. (20:09)
- How to let go of the expectations that other people place on you. (23:18)
- How the perceived need for perfectionism may show up in your life. (25:05)
- How to become the CEO of "Saving My Own Ass Technologies". (28:14)
People I Mention:
Dr. Valerie Rein
Nancy Levin
Rachel Rodgers
Kris Carr
Resources I Mention:
Episode 22: Patriarchy Stress Disorder: Removing invisible barriers to your joy and fulfillment with Dr. Valerie Rein
Episode 33: Got Information Overload? How to get clear and sturdy so you can keep rising right now
Setting Boundaries Will Set You Free by Nancy Levin
Hello Seven Podcast with Rachel Rodgers
Study: “The Cost of Interrupted Work: More Speed and Stress”
Mark, G., Gudith, D., & Klocke, U. (2008). The cost of interrupted work. Proceeding of the Twenty-sixth Annual CHI Conference on Human Factors in Computing Systems – CHI 08. Doi: 10.1145/1357054.1357072
Study: “Putting a stereotype to the test: The case of gender differences in multitasking costs in task-switching and dual-task situations”
Hirsch, P., Koch, I., & Karbach, J. (2019). Putting a stereotype to the test: the case of gender differences in multitasking costs in task-switching and dual-task situations. Plos One, 14(8). Doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0220150
The Reclaiming Time Studio: Karlee's Private Group for Women That Run Their Own Business Who Are Done With Burnout
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You're working hard, putting in your time and energy and resources, day in and day out. Why aren't you experiencing the same results you'd like to be getting then?
There's a myth in our society that good work is the same as hard work, but the truth is that this isn't always the case. At some point, the "I will do all the things" mentality that once helped spur some growth will become the same thing that roadblocks you from getting to the next level. Eventually, your metaphorical blade will dull, and you'll need to take some time to sharpen it again.
In this episode, Karlee breaks down The Law of Diminishing Returns, demonstrating how spending all your energy and resources is not always the best strategy to keep moving forward; instead, you may be accidentally sabotaging your best work. She also provides simple and doable strategies for "sharpening your blade" to be clear, focused, and operating at your best in small moments throughout your day.
Tune in to learn how you can strategically get more work done in less time, without spending all your energy in one place.
In This Episode You Will Learn:
- What is the Law of Diminishing Returns? (6:28)
- How to prevent accidentally sabotaging your best results by overworking and over thinking . (12:49)
- What Karlee’s personal Daily Thrive Practice looks like. (14:18)
- The 6 Pillars of Working Hours. (16:01)
- How to incorporate the different types of working hours into your weekly routine to hone your focus and joy. (25:24)
Resources:
The Reclaiming Time Studio: Karlee's Private Group for Women That Run Their Own Business Who Are Done With Burnout
Episode 36: Reopening Gently: A Simple Practice to Process What Just Happened and Move Forward with Wisdom and Grace
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I bet you can think of at least 10 more things you'd like to get to this week, right?! And no matter how much you do, there is more left that still feels undone, or not where you'd like it to be.
High-achievers are great at being aware of the tasks or goals we want to accomplish next. But pro's learn that when we only focus on what isn't done yet, we sabotage ourselves, our energy levels and our best work.
In this episode, Karlee interviews Georgia Wall, the NYC-based ceremonialist, with a heart for creating spaces to honor transitional moments. Whether it's a wedding or funeral, breakup, creative breakthrough, or a work project or transition, or anything that feels significant in your life that needs space to be held and acknowledged.
Georgia shares how there is a thread of interest that runs through many of us since our childhood, and how if we pull gently on the ends of those threads, we can draw significant meaning and unique skills into our work.
Georgia also talks candidly about how she woke up one night suddenly aware that it was time to become a ceremonialist, what her transition into this career looked like, and why simple ceremonies are essential to creating a thriving career and personal life.
Expect to discover the importance of honoring the labor or your work and what you can do to drop back into moments of presence in the midst of overwhelm.
Tune in to learn more about creating ceremonies for your life's transitions, how to acknowledge the powerful connection you have to your work, and how these practices will help you tap into your own unique strengths.
Some Questions Karlee Asks:
- What inspired you to go into such a unique career? (7:38)
- How does the process of ceremony honor transitions? (15:46)
- What are some examples ritual or routin that you might already be doing? (21:36)
- What could it look like for someone to build a small, intentional ritual? (27:53)
In This Episode You Will Learn:
- How Georgia found direction for becoming a ceremonialist. (9:44)
- How ceremonies show the interconnection between yourself and your community. (16:01)
- Examples of everyday rituals. (21:55)
- How to create a personal ceremony to acknowledge the labor you do each day. (28:07)
- How to see the value in each mistake you make and how it plays into the creation of the grand masterpiece you are making. (35:10)
People Mentioned In This Episode:
Kate Northrup
Dr. Frantonia
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Get the FREE Harvest Time Ceremony: A Guide To Nourish Your Best Work Mentioned On This Episode Next to Episode 42 HERE
Episode 3: 4 Phases of Growth and Sustaining Success
Navigating a Graceful Transition: Your New Best Life with Karlee Fain and Maria Sirois
Connect with Georgia Wall:
Website: www.TheCeremonialist.Earth
Instagram: @theceremonialist.earth
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Something is holding you back from doing your best work, but it’s not about your energy, ability to follow through, or experiencing brain fog. It’s about nourishment.
Throughout history, women have been brainwashed into giving everything they have away, leaving them with nothing to invest in careers, health, or relationships. It’s time to shift that trajectory and discover how everyday rock stars like you can get professionally nourished.
In this episode, Karlee unpacks the statement she makes at the end of every episode: “You thrive through nourishment, not punishment.” Karlee sheds light what may be sucking your professional mojo from your days and how to get back into alignment. She specifically discusses four simple yet unconventional ways to refill your professional cup.
Tune in to learn how you can experience true nourishment and get back to doing your best work, without pushing harder.
In This Episode You Will Learn:
- The 3 H’s of COVID response: Hiding, Hula-Hooping, and Hyper Productivity. (6:04)
- What element you might be missing from your day that messes with your professional mojo. (7:51)
- How to create structures and systems around your own natural flow. (12:50)
- Why it’s important to acknowledge the history of the land on which you live and work. (18:11)
- How to tend to beauty in a way that nourishes you. (22:27)
- How to tap into a community of sisterhood and why it’s essential for professional nourishment. (25:34)
People Mentioned:
Kate Northrup
Suzi Banks Baum
Terry Tempest Williams
Theaster Gates
Resources Mentioned:
The Do Less Planner
Episode 35: Trust Your Knowing: How Women Rise From Doubt to Leading Themselves Forward with Suzi Banks Baum
Map of Indigenous Communities
Get to Know the Land You Are On
How to Revive A Neighborhood: with Imagination, Beauty and Art
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
There’s an outdated notion that there are different versions of ourselves: one that goes to work and one that has a personal life. However, in today’s business world, that mindset will hold you back from experiencing fulfillment and authenticity in your work and life.
You were never meant to fit into a box. So far, corporate culture has not been able to contain the expansiveness of a woman fully showing up at work – but now this is changing.
There’s never been a better time to be so fully yourself as a brand and business.
In this episode, Karlee interviews Farryn Weiner, who is an experienced, award-winning brand marketer that, at her core, prioritizes telling the true and unique stories of her clients and their company.
Farryn sheds light on what it means to truly show up authentically at work and how this leads to emotional success and lasting fulfillment. She also shares the wisdom she’s gained as a first-time entrepreneur, how she manages her time and energy, and why emotional intelligence is key to success in business now.
Tune in to learn how you can bring your full authentic self into your business and tap into a rich sense of fulfillment along the way.
Some Questions Karlee Asks:
- What called you to work in branding? (7:41)
- What caused you to decide to launch your own company were worked in-house for huge brands already? (14:09)
- What went through your head when you felt called to entrepreneurship? (19:59)
- What helped you follow through when you felt like you were floundering as a new entrepreneur? (29:16)
- How have you seen the pandemic change the level of authenticity and vulnerability in business? (37:37)
- Where does a person begin their branding journey? (42:15)
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- Why there’s never been a time to be authentically yourself in business. (10:28)
- How Farryn learned to look at her decisions through a filter and set boundaries accordingly. (15:32)
- Why focusing on what you “want” versus what you “do” spends extra energy. (20:26)
- How feeling a lack of fulfillment shows up in work. (22:35)
- The biggest learning Farryn’s had as an entrepreneur. (33:47)
- Why emotional intelligence is the number one skill to bring to business. (37:48)
- How emotional success and vulnerability lead to experiencing fulfillment. (48:08)
Connect with Farryn Weiner:
NEW The Farryn Height Podcast
Website
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Reclaiming Time Studio: Karlee’s Private Group for Women That Run Their Own Business Who Are Done With Burnout
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You have a lot of people around you that you love, yet you can’t fully be yourself around them anymore. Maybe you’ve made some significant shifts in your life or you’re starting to treat yourself better than you used to, and you’re starting to realize that you’re just not a match for these folks in the same away anymore.
If this is resonating with you, it’s likely that your group isn’t genuinely your group anymore. They don’t light you up the same way they used to, and you may find spending time with them more draining than life-giving. You’ve outgrown your social or professional circle.
So, what do you do now?
In this episode, Karlee explores the idea of what it means to truly belong in a group of people, and that just fitting in isn’t enough. Truth is, fitting in is the opposite of belonging. Going further, Karlee talks about how to reconnect with yourself and figure out what “belonging” means to you in this stage of your life and career, along with a 4 step process to finding a group of people that serve and support who you are.
Tune in to learn how you can create lasting belonging in a community without ever sacrificing your authenticity to fit into a box.
In This Episode You Will Learn:
- What outgrowing your social or professional circle looks like. (7:34)
- How to reconnect with yourself after separating from your social circle. (10:55)
- What sabotages our sense of belonging. (15:33)
- Why the opposite of belonging is fitting in. (19:24)
- What is true belonging? (22:51)
- How to create relationships that allow you to belong. (24:34)
- The 4 Step Process to finding a supportive community where you belong. (25:46)
Resources Mentioned:
Reclaiming Time Studio: Karlee Private Group for Women That Run Their Own Business Who Are Done With Burnout
Episode 14: Discover the one person that actually elevates you
Episode 2: How to upgrade your adult relationships
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People count on you, you are the stable shoulder for lots of folks on the job and off, so what happens when you are going through radical change? How do you continue to be a leader when your heart is heavy and your mind is somewhere else?
If this is happening in your life, know this: there’s so much wisdom in the challenging experiences that we go through, even when the growing pains from rapid change are quite uncomfortable.
In this episode, Karlee changes it up a bit: she goes behind the microphone and is interviewed by award-winning journalist Ginni Saraswati. Together, they discuss how when things feel like they’re falling apart, the best course of action to take is actually to slow down and allow for space to bring things back together. Ginni asks some of the most insightful, creative, and wildly specific questions about living on a tour bus, how she managed to get any work done after the sudden passing of her former fiancé, and how she begins her day with what she truly values.
Tune in to learn how you can create space for yourself to thrive, heal, and grow without compromising your career, health or relationships.
Some Questions Ginni Asks:
- What’s the number one blockage that overachieving women face in terms of getting stuff done? (15:34)
- Do you find that women’s habits of self-sacrificing is a pattern spurred by intergenerational trauma? (18:40)
- How do you get clear on what you value? (21:52)
- What’s your morning routine? (26:01)
- What kept you going while experiencing such deep grief? (34:43)
- What’s lighting you up at the moment? (44:24)
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- The 3 stages of running a business: hustling, sustaining, and handing off. (14:08)
- What is popular isolation & how to remedy it. (15:48)
- How intergenerational trauma affects women today. (18:52)
- Why starting the day with what you value will help energize you and create space for a thriving life. (24:04)
- How Karlee navigated her career, life, and relationships after the sudden death of her former fiancé. (29:49)
- What the life of a live-in coach on a tour bus looks like. (36:39)
People We Mention:
Georgia Wall: The Ceremonialist
Shakti Durga
Dr. Valerie Rein
Resources Mentioned:
The Ginni Show
Empowering Relationships by Shakti Durga
Patriarchy Stress Disorder by Dr. Valerie Rein
Good Dog! Service Canines
Connect with Ginni Saraswati
Website: GinniMedia.com
Instagram: @theginnishow
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You're good at looking like you have it all together. So why, over the last few months, has your confidence gotten a little shaky?
In this episode, Karlee addresses this phenomenon that women are experiencing around the world: feeling like your world’s been rocked lately, feeling tender or like you’re missing that oomph of confidence to push you forward. Hear why many driven women are feeling like their foundation is less sturdy, what area of your life you may require a little more nourishment right now, and how to discover lasting self-efficacy.
Here’s your invitation: it’s time to dust off your signature strengths and put them to work for you. (Get the Signature Strengths Master-sheet Karlee Mentions In This Episode for FREE below Episode 37 HERE.)
Tune in to elevate your sense of capacity, clarity and confidence so that you can move forward with a realistic look at how truly capable you are.
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- What makes you feel steady, clear and confident. (6:42)
- Why your confidence might be shaken right now. (10:05)
- Proven methods that lead to lasting confidence. (17:20)
- How to identify your signature strengths. (20:17)
- How to apply your signature strengths to an area in your life you’d like to grow in. (31:05)
People Mentioned In This Episode:
Dr. Robert Leahy, from the American Institute for Cognitive Therapy Weill-Cornell University
Martin E. P. Seligman
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Get the Signature Strengths Master-sheet Karlee Mentions In This Episode for FREE below Episode 37 HERE.
Episode 1: One Word That Will Elevate Everything You Do
Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment by Martin E. P. Seligman
4 Ways to Improve and Increase Self-Efficacy by Madhuleena Roy Chowdhury
The National Academies of Science, Engineering Medicine: Learning, Remembering, Believing: Enhancing Human Performance
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After 4 months of laying low, parts of the world are starting to open back up. While it seems like everyone around you is prepared to go back to normal, you might be feeling called to go inward. Maybe you’re starting to realize that during this time, you were showing up for everybody else, doing all the things, and only now are you feeling the call to re-energize and reground yourself.
This is your opportunity to process what just happened - and what is still unknown - and get clarity about the unique ways you will move forward.
In this episode, Karlee shares all about her culmination practice, which is a step-by-step professional process to observe the past and spark positive change for your future. This is a time investment in your life and business, enabling you to thoughtfully notice what’s working, what’s nourishing you, and how you can prepare for the next cycle of growth. (Get the Culmination Mastersheet Karlee Mentions In This Episode for Free Below "Episode 36" Here)
Tune in to get clear about what you’ve just experienced and move forward with confidence.
In This Episode You Will Learn:
- Why you might be feeling the pull to re-energize now, just as the world is opening back up. (1:03)
- How to listen to your inner wisdom and truth, even when society tells you differently. (6:22)
- What is culmination? (10:59)
- What Karlee’s culmination process looks like in her own business. (12:19)
- How to start your own culmination practice. (14:58)
- Examples of how other driven women utilize this culmination practice. (20:13)
- How to move forward from your culmination session. (22:33)
People I Mention:
Suzi Banks Baum
Dr. Maria Sirois
Resources:
Get the Culmination Mastersheet Karlee Mentions In This Episode for Free Below "Episode 36" Here
Episode 3: 4 Phases of Growth and Sustaining Success
Episode 35: Trust Your Knowing
Navigating a Graceful Transition: Your New Best Life with Karlee Fain and Maria Sirois (Free Online Workshop)
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"I crave a sense of spaciousness in my days." "I miss getting to create for the joy and nourishment of it." "How do I know what the right choice is here?" These are the kinds of questions that women who have been taught that taking care yourself is frivolous, brush up against. What if it's all too easy to push off what you need for tomorrow? And the next day. And the next.
When you find yourself in that pattern, and you're feeling unsettled, dare to pause. Ask yourself: what is my body communicating to me in this moment?
Here’s the truth you may have been taught to ignore: your body is trying to communicate with you, and it is possible to use that as a professional strategy. Once you learn how to listen to your body, it can guide you toward some of your biggest wins. Conversely, when your body is urging you not to do something, you may feel a headache coming on, tightness in your shoulders and neck, or just feel completely exhausted by even just an idea on paper.
If you find yourself wanting more space for yourself throughout your day, or the room to be creative, or if you’re feeling worried about what the next right step for you is, then this episode is for you.
This week’s guest is Suzi Banks Baum: a master at interpreting the language of the body. Suzi is a writer and book artist with an admirable devotion to her daily creative practice. Throughout the conversation, Suzi shares how her creative practices help her stay solid even when everything feels chaotic around her, how she learned to cultivate these practices, and how listening to her body’s information has guided her over the years, and even more specifically during all the professional changes she's had to make during this pandemic.
Tune in to learn how to implement the deeply nourishing framework that will guide you from doubt back to your Knowing.
Some Questions I Ask:
- How do you go about making mindful pivots in business? (14:08)
- What do you feel in your body when something’s not quite right? (18:12)
- What thoughts bubbled up for you when you're tempted to ignore what you know to be true? (23:46)
- What’s the connection between creative practice and tapping into your Knowing? (30:18)
- How can someone start cultivating a simple creative practice? (37:43)
- How did you know when it was time to make a big change for your signature program - Backyard Art Camp? (49:02)
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- How Suzi stays solid amidst the chaos of life’s changes. (8:32)
- How you know when it’s time to modify the way you do business. (14:46)
- What is body-knowing? (18:55)
- How creative practices help you gain a greater understanding of your interior orientation. (30:32)
- How ritual can help you begin cultivating a creative practice. (38:21)
- How making time for herself helped Suzi take back her freedom and agency. (57:33)
People We Mention:
Nancy Levin
Rowen White
Janet Elsbach
Judy Chicago
Resources I Mention:
Episode 32: Curing the Knee-Jerk “Yes” with Nancy Levin
The Dinner Party by Judy Chicago
Camp in a Care Package
Connect with Suzi Banks Baum:
Website
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To all my perfectionist sisters out there: can we just pause for a moment, and acknowledge that you're living amidst a global pandemic, massive civil unrest, and there's a good chance your job and home life have changed significantly too. All this is happening at once, and yet you feel the need to get everything done, done right, and done right now, right?!
So here’s a question for you: what’s the rush when it comes to the little stuff?
You’ve had to navigate all this new territory without anyone handing over a roadmap, guiding you on how to make progress. As a recovering perfectionist, this poses unique challenges and barriers to prioritizing your values, feeling calm and clear, and even letting go of the things that don’t require your attention. And brings up another question: Where can you afford to relax a bit without things falling apart?
In this episode, Karlee shows you how to locate that roadmap in your life to guide you away from needing things to be perfect and back to a state of clarity and ease. Karlee defines the “perfectionist” lifestyle and what it’s really all about (spoiler alert: it’s not about doing a good job), and what signs along the road indicate that you might be heading back into perfectionism. Karlee also talks specifically about where you can upgrade your life to understanding what needs your attention, and what you can afford to let go of.
Tune in to learn how to elevate from a state of perfectionist fear into what gives you nourished fulfillment, both on the job and off.
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- What is perfectionism? (6:09)
- The 2 major lessons I’ve learned as a recovering perfectionist. (10:57)
- What symptoms indicate that perfectionism (12:06)
- Why cultivating both progress and presence leads to a thriving life. (18:20)
- 4 steps to upgrade from perfectionist fear to freedom. (24:00)
- How to leverage your body’s information to combat the sensations of perfectionism. (29:28)
People Mentioned In This Episode:
Dr. Maria Sirois
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Navigating a Graceful Transition: Your New Best Life with Karlee Fain and Maria Sirois (Free Online Workshop)
Episode 33: How to get clear and sturdy so you can keep rising right now
Episode 1: One Word That Will Elevate Everything You Do
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The message to "go big or go home" is rampant, outdated and unnecessary in our modern economy. It's the professionals that go deep, and intentional, rather than fancy and complicated, that are reaping the benefits of lasting professional growth in our new economy.
If you’re constantly feeling the pressure to move from one thing to the next, to the next, always doing the most - and that isn't working for you - it's because you are ready to learn a better way.
In our modern culture, women are not given room to digest what is happening in real-time and this is by design - a busy woman can't be nearly as powerful as an intentional woman is.
The truth is, growth is not about being “on” all the time. Just like the rest of nature, human women go through phases, too.
In this episode, Karlee throws it back to Episode 3 to go deeper into the 4 seasons of growth. You'll learn how to leverage your unique phases, helping you spot where you’re at right now and know which doable steps will take you to the next level so that you can clear busy work off your plate today.
Here’s your invitation: Even if you’ve heard Karlee talk about the 4 seasons before before, listen in - now is not a time for more information - it's a time for transformation and that happens when we go deeper into what works rather than trying 20 new things. Something from this episode will resonate with you, and you may find that you’re in a totally different phase of growth now.
Tune in learn to leverage your time and skills to bring you satisfying results that spark your best work and sense of self.
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- Why Karlee implements a monthly “culmination week” into her practice. (0:48)
- Debunking the “no pain, no gain” myth. (7:12)
- Why self doubt shows up, and what to do about it. (16:24)
- What to do when you find yourself at a loss for what your next steps should be. (19:04)
- How to protect your new good ideas so they can take root. (21:47)
- The key to follow through: how to sustain yourself when you begin working on your project or idea. (24:51)
People I Mention:
Drew Rozell
Maria Sirois
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
The FREE Master Sheet To Guide you Through The 4 Phases of Growth Can Be Found Below Episode 33 at KarleeFain.com/podcast
Do Less by Kate Northrup
Navigating a Graceful Transition: Your New Best Life with Karlee Fain and Maria Sirois (Free Online Workshop)
Doors Open Soon For The Reclaiming Time Studio Summer Class
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Someone just asked you to do something for them, and before you’ve even had the chance to think it through, you find yourself saying, “Sure! I’d love to!” . Then, when the time comes to actually do it, you feel resentment rising within yourself. Familiar?
Saying “yes” is a knee-jerk reaction for many of us. Whether you say “yes” out of obligation, genuine excitement, or just muscle memory, that feeling of resentment or exhaustion that follows is a key indicator that it’s time to up your boundary game.
But what do you do when someone pushes back on your boundary?
Or they call you a b*tch for speaking your mind?
In this episode, Karlee interviews Nancy Levin, a boundary-setting master, and author of Setting Boundaries Will Set You Free, on how to know what to say on the spot when someone crosses your boundaries and how to respond to pushback.
Nancy sheds light on the idea of what a boundary truly is, and why a boundary – by her definition – cannot be crossed by someone else. Instead, you are the only one who can cross your boundary, and you are the only one who can uphold them, too.
Tune in to learn to remedy the rising resentment within and reclaim your time and energy through setting and honoring your own boundaries.
Some Questions Karlee Asks:
- What are some signs it's time to upgrade our boundaries? (5:06)
- What’s a real-life example of how to maintain a boundary once you make one? (11:13)
- How do people-pleasers finally have time their needs as much as (or even more!) than others’ needs? (24:10)
- Why do we think setting a boundary makes us selfish? (35:10)
- Why did you publish a book about boundaries right now? (40:09)
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- Rewind - why boundaries actually have nothing to do with other people. (5:17)
- Busting the myth that setting boundaries mean managing other people’s behavior. (13:17)
- How to say "no" without having to convince or prove yourself. (19:44)
- 3 steps to give yourself permission to consider your own needs at least as much as everyone else. (22:06)
- Why women have disowned the quality “selfish,” and how fear of fear prioritizing yourself is messing you up. (36:10)
Connect with Nancy to Upgrade Your Boundaries and Worth:
Website
YouTube
Resource Mentioned:
Find Your True North: A 4-Day Journey to Reconnect and Rediscover You. A FREE Online Event with Nancy Levin from June 15-18th, 2020
Worthy by Nancy Levin
Setting Boundaries Will Set You Free by Nancy Levin
Doors Open Soon For The Reclaiming Time Studio Summer Class
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Sometimes we must to throw the plans we have out the window, step out of our comfort zone, and go against the status quo to acknowledge what needs to be presently addressed. This is one of those times.
As women with thriving careers, you’ve already done the hard work of developing a skill set to be courageous. You have asked yourself tough questions. You have made the hard, but true, decisions to work more in alignment with what you value. You’ve developed a muscle for educating yourself and taking brave action, even if you’re unsure if you’re doing it right.
So let’s put this skill set to good use right now.
"There’s been a surge of racial protests throughout the United States, and frankly, it needs to happen. And right now, it’s time for white women – including myself – to lean in and listen deeply to Black Women and Women of Color who are qualified to be leading us forward", said Karlee.
This episode’s a little different - Karlee creates intentional space to amplify Black Women leaders’ voices.
Walk away from this episode with a valuable framework for white women to know their role in the essential conversations and racial justice that needs to happen. And in her in her usual, "make things doable" style, Karlee shares 4 resources for elevating your anti-racist journey including podcasts, books, movies, and ways to take action.
And if you're thinking, "Of course racism is bad, but I listen to Messy And Magnificent to learn about running a business/career that works for me, what does racial justice have to do with my career?"...then this might help:
Karlee explains why she choose to get simultaneous degrees in both Business Mangement and Community Justice - because in a capitalist culture, there is no such thing as “it’s just business”. The way we treat each other through our work is the way we shape our world. When we put space between our values and our work, we fragment our energy and create pain for ourselves and others
GOOD BUSINESS IS ABOUT COMMUNITY AND RACIAL JUSTICE.
Tune in to find out how to start having the raw conversations required for all women to rise.
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- Why NOW is the time to support Black Women Leaders. (4:51)
- Why good business, at its core, is about community justice. (6:52)
- 4 ways to educate yourself and be an active part of the racial justice that must happen for all women to rise. (11:00)
- Why our discomfort about race (white women) is not relevant, and what to do if someone calls you out for doing/saying something harmful. (14:00)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Listen:
Shine Brighter Together: What is anti-racism and why you’re not doing it, Part 1
Shine Brighter Together: What is anti-racism and why you’re not doing it, Part 2
Read:
Antagonist, Advocates and Allies: The Wake Up Call Guide for White Women Who Want to Become Allies with Black Women by Catrice M. Jackson
Donate:
National Bailout Fund
Watch:
13th, directed by Ava DuVernay
For Fellow White Coaches:
Show Up & Serve: a Workshop for White Coaches with Trudi Lebron
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You're used to doing the most - working hard is your comfort zone, kinda, because no matter how much you do there’s so much still left undone. As tasks carry over from one day’s to-do list to the next, it starts to take a toll on you.
Imagine what would happen if you just told yourself, “I’m not going to do that thing today.”
Here’s a reality check: If you’re a human, born and raised on planet Earth, you’ve been taught from a young age that what you do with your time directly correlates to your worth as a person. This is just not true – and it’s messing with us high-achievers. The truth is, the fastest way to stand out is to be the most rested and nourished person in the room.
On this episode, Karlee Fain busts the myth of hustle culture and shares a doable system to self-source your own schedule. This system is what gives time for the things you value rather than filling up every slot in your calendar with other people’s requests.
Tune in to start clearing off your plate, have wiggle room in your days to breathe and be spontaneous, have a sustainable scheduling system to help give you life again.
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- The TRUTH behind feeling like you just can’t keep up. (1:44)
- How Karlee has created a thriving business: by only focusing on 3 main things per week. (4:20)
- Where to focus your energy to advance in your career. (8:04)
- What Self-Sourced Scheduling looks like. (9:48)
- How to self-source your own schedule to have space for your best work and best decisions. (10:30)
- How to be kind to your future self with some calendar boundary 101. (17:25)
- The super unusual event Karlee schedules in her calendar every week that will ignite your best career. (23:20)
Resources:
Apply to Know When the Doors Open for the Reclaiming Time Studio Summer Class
FREE COURSE: Boundaries Like a BOSS
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You are grateful for the good things in your life, but sometimes you still feel like you need to curl up into a ball. You wonder why just pushing through it isn’t working anymore – and where did all the motivation go?
A lot of us are expecting ourselves to behave normally, even though things are not normal right now. It’s unfair to expect ourselves to work like robots when we are – in fact- not robots. We are human beings who go through seasons of churning out incredible work, and seasons where we need to plant some new seeds within ourselves.
On this short and sweet episode, Karlee addresses what’s truly going on for so many women that are not finding the motivation to show up in the ways we used to. She shares doable action steps to refuel your energy, focus, and motivation – and it only takes about 2 minutes and the awareness of your 5 senses.
When we are feeling exhausted and get a little too close to our regular routine, we start to get tunnel vision. We see the goal ahead, but none of the opportunities on the side that will refuel us. So if you’re career-driven and need to show up even when things are challenging, this episode is for you. The truth is, the fastest way to move through your lack of motivation is to move through it, rather than shove it down or avoid it.
It’s time to set the stage for your renewal. It’s time to make yourself a nest, get in there, and incubate until you’re ready to break out again.
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- Why it’s REALLY okay to not feel as focused or motivated as normal right now. (7:22)
- How to refuel your motivation and focus: get cozy. (13:50)
- Why it’s essential to work within a space of beauty to inspire creativity. (15:12)
- How to create your our professional nest. (16:49)
- How to use your 5 senses to identify what you need to refuel your motivation. (18:00)
- The difference between resting and checking out. (22:14)
Resources:
Apply to Know When The Doors Open For The Reclaiming Time Studio Summer Class
Episode 3: 4 Phases of Growth and Sustaining Success
Episode 12: Permission to Rest
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You work plenty hard, so why does it never feel like enough? How come each time you sit down on the sofa, your mind races and you feel behind on at least 10 projects you keep meaning to get to? Hint: this is NOT an issue of time management or doing more.
If you are a human woman on planet earth, chances are you’ve been surrounded by messages telling you that you aren’t enough since childhood. "Not enough" is smog that you unconsciously breathe in each day; it influences your mind, body, and interactions with the world around you.
On this episode, Karlee guides you through a simple 3-part process to finally know what “good enough” looks and feels like in your world. You’ll get clear on what you value and have the energy to get to all the things that are most important to you. By the end of the episode, you’ll be on the path to knowing that you are enough and doing enough, without having to work nearly as hard as you currently are. This isn’t a one-time fix-all solution, it's a reusable framework that will guide you to realign your actions with your values and stay healthy as healthy as possible in the "smog" for a lifetime.
Tune in to get clear on your values, start enjoying the present moment, and finally experience more than enough.
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- How Karlee began consciously exploring what it means to feel like you’re “enough.” (0:50)
- The Smog Situation: why women universally constantly feel like they’re never enough. (9:46)
- How your body communicates vital information about what’s true, what’s enough, and what works for you. (13:15)
- 3 Steps to Lasting Fulfillment. (21:37)
- The secret sauce that allows women to thrive in their careers, life, and health. (32:27)
- How you know it’s time to start getting clear on your values. (36:31)
People Karlee Mentions:
Terry Tempest Williams
Glennon Doyle
Kate Northrup
Resources Mentioned:
Get the FREE "3 Pillars of Lasting Feminine Fulfillment” Master Sheet HERE
Apply to Know When The Doors Open For the Reclaiming Time Studio Summer Class
Untamed by Glennon Doyle
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There are multiple voices in your head, pulling you in multiple directions all at the same time, right? Some of those voices are from the people around you, and some are from within yourself. So which opinions and thoughts you are you meant to listen to?
When the time comes to make a decision or life transition, you’ll inevitably be bombarded by OPOs: That's what Karlee calls "Other People’s Opinions" - and they are rampant! So, having a formula to discern which ideas or opinions are valid and which voice makes the most sense to listen can make all the difference in the world.
On this episode, Karlee guides you through a very practical way to hear all of those options out and determine which ones are of service to you right now – and which ones are not. By the end of this episode, you will know even more about who you uniquely are at your best when making decisions. This framework is like a good shampoo - once you know it, you can rinse and repeat it again and again as new opportunities come your way.
Tune in to learn how to filter out the OPOs bombarding your mind and tap into YOUR inner voice and your best decision making .
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- What it looks like to replace moments of imposter syndrome with self-sourced truth. (8:34)
- How to stop feeling like you need to defend your choices or dreams when other people have opinions for you (13:32)
- How to create space to explore the idea of an ideal transition in your life. (18:03)
- But what if you need the answers now? (22:43)
- How to lean back, look at all the options, and know which choice is true for you (23:36)
People Karlee Mentions:
Maria Sirois, PsyD
Karissa Thacker
Richard Boyatzis
Resources Karlee Mentions:
Guide to Navigating Other People’s Opinions
Navigating a Graceful Transition. FREE ONLINE COURSE
The Art of Authenticity by Karissa Thacker
Episode 25: Feeling Stuck or Exhausted?
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So, you have a vision for what you want your life to look like – but you keep being pulled in different directions. You feel responsible for doing all the things – and society tells you that your role is to lose yourself in service to others.
How are you supposed to take care of others when you are so depleted? And what if you don't have the time or means to take a spa weekend or travel the globe (none of us have that right now anyway)?
In this episode, Karlee chats with Shavawn Boyer, a nurse currently helping in the fight against COVID-19. She’s dedicated her life to helping heal others – but a few years ago she decided she would no longer do that at the expense of her own mental and physical health. And now she's more clear than ever about what she is going to do in order to stay on the front-lines to help others for the long-haul - spoiler: it's not about sacrifice..
It’s time to break free from the "I'll get to myself later" mindset. Permission granted to put your mask on first, and here is exactly how one woman did just that when simple things like just drinking a cup of water or going to the bathroom felt like too much of a burden when she worked - like it might distract from the mission at hand: being of service to others.
Some Questions I Ask:
- How was it that Lil Wayne introduced us to each other? (11:47)
- How was being a nurse making it even easier to have an eating disorder? (12:49)
- What was the first small step you took to reclaim time for your own nourishment? (18:19)
- What does the care for medical staff look like right now in your hospital, during this pandemic? (26:17)
- What is one thing that you know makes sense for you moving forward even if others disagree? (35:31)
- Where do you go for inspiration or a dose of courage? (41:53)
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- How Shavawn absorbed the message that everyone else goes first, and herself last. (14:14)
- How a 20 second practice in drinking water transformed Shavawn’s life. (18:29)
- Why regular self-care makes Shavawn stand out in a crowd. (24:27)
- What it’s like to be a nurse during the COVID-19 pandemic. (29:01)
- About Shavawn’s secret talent: interpreting guidance from the universe. (38:45)
Resources:
Connect with Shavawn at AlopeciaEmpress.com
Ready to have more time and energy? Start here
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Why can't I keep up with everyone else?
Why don't I have the energy or answers to take the next step yet?
Am I missing out on an opportunity, or am I going to fall even father behind than I already feel?
If any of those thoughts are relatable, it could be because you're accidentally comparing yourself to the knee-jerk-swift-action way of working and living that has become our cultural norm. And frankly, it is not working.
So, if you’re used to doing the grind, and all this hustle got you a life that looks great on paper – but it’s leaving you feeling stuck, drained and unsatisfied at the end of the day, this is an indicator that the way things are – and the way society tells you to expect you to run your business and life – is just not working for you. And that’s okay.
It’s okay to not have all the answers right now. You aren't exhausted because something is wrong with you, you are exhausted because something is right with you.
You see, we’ve all been taught one way to move about work and life: aggressively and immediately. Karlee is here to tell you that this is based on an outdated belief and just not sustainable over time for anyone. Ever. The women who are truly thriving in our modern economy are the ones that do things a little differently.
In this episode, Karlee breaks down why “hustle culture” and "sperm wisdom" are unsustainable in today’s world for most, and provides doable strategies to help shift your mindset and expectations of yourself, your work, and your business.
Tune in to start living in a way that truly works for YOU in our modern economy.
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- How women in leadership roles changed the world during the 2008 recession. (2:15)
- How to do better than the outdated testosterone-based leadership strategies and move toward a sustainable strategy for leading your life and business. (6:04)
- The cyclical and selective nature of working and living in the world. (10:23)
- Why it’s okay to not always know the answer. (16:03)
- Red flags that say what was is not working for you. (17:27)
- What listening to egg wisdom practically looks like. (27:39)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Do Less by Kate Northrup
Episode 3: Done burning out? The 4 phases of growth and sustaining success.
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So there you are, sitting at your dining room table, wanting to have the perfect business or life plan before you take the next step.
Heads up: You don’t need to have it all figured out to just get started.
In this episode, Karlee chats with Lakshmi Voelker: master yoga teacher and business owner for well over 40 years now. She has dedicated her life to empowering other people. Back in 1982, Lakshmi invented chair yoga – a modality now practiced worldwide within government facilities, medical institutions, refugee camps, and veteran centers. This all started with a single one of Lakshmi’s clients – and she’s going to share that story with you in this episode.
For anyone looking to get something started but perfectionism keeps getting the best of you, permission granted to get started, wherever you and your business might be at. Lakshmi is the perfect reminder that there is power and magic that happens when we take our ideas to the streets and connect with others about it. Remember: no matter how you start out in the beginning, it’s never too late to reinvent yourself and your business.
Throughout our conversation, Lakshmi illustrates how she discovered chair yoga to help a specific client, why she decided to reinvent herself in her 70s, and how she’s intentionally growing and improving herself and her business every day.
If you find yourself just wondering what reinvention or shift could look like for you, this episode will act as a dose of inspiration for you.
Some Questions I Ask:
- How did you come up with the idea of chair yoga? (8:34)
- What happened when you shared this new form of yoga with your students for the first time? (17:41)
- What challenges came up when you were just staring a new business? (26:06)
- Do you experience synchronicities that help you business often? (31:52)
- What have you learned that you wish you’d known 30 years ago? (36:15)
- How are you continuing to grow today? (40:20)
- Where do you go for a dose of inspiration? (49:30)
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- How Lakshmi practiced listening to her self-sourced voice. (16:19)
- How chair yoga was received when Lakshmi took it to the streets. (27:17)
- What inspired Lakshmi to reinvent herself at 70 years old and start an online coaching practice. (29:56)
- The shadow side of being a leader from a young age. (34:20)
- How Lakshmi softens her edges and focuses on kindness. (37:55)
- How Lakshmi works through imposter syndrome. (43:57)
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Episode 22: Patriarchy Stress Disorder with Dr Valerie Rein
The Reclaiming Time Studio: Where Driven Women Go From Never Enough to Having Time and Energy Abundance
Magic Wand Mentoring with Lakshmi Voelker
Get Fit Where You Sit Chair Yoga Training with Lakshmi Voelker
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So you’re staying home until further notice, and now the pressure’s on. Or maybe you need to be more on the go than normal to keep up. This is the time where you are expected to learn a new skill, start up a new leg of your business, or do something impressive during this worldwide quarantine.
Karlee is here to give you permission to release those expectations.
Right now, when there’s so much change happening every single day, it’s easy for us to feel like we need to be doing things more, or we need to be doing things differently. But for many already high-achieving women, this just isn’t realistic.
In this episode, Karlee breaks down the societal expectation that everyone needs to be doing more. Instead, she lifts the veil, revealing the behind-the-scenes strategies that are working for her business and clients. She also exposes the three most common responses that women are having to this pandemic and the doable strategies that can help you feel really steady again.
Tune in to discover how you can take back the reins of your life and business during this time of uncertainty.
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- What unconscious stress responses are showing up in women’s lives today. (3:36)
- What signs may indicate you have fallen out of alignment. (11:34)
- What your time during C-19 is for and what it is not for. (12:35)
- How to navigate the fertile void in quarantine. (18:07)
- What’s working for Karlee’s clients that’s helping them stay steady. (20:31)
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Episode 3: 4 Phases of Growth and Sustaining Success
Apply for a Breakthrough Session with Karlee
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
So, your life looks great on paper, but intrusive thoughts seem to show up throughout your day on a regular basis. This is a red flag: your inner critic might be the one running your life.
Women around the world experience this every day. Across race, religion, culture, and socioeconomic status, women collectively run into this common barrier – it’s called Patriarchy Stress Disorder (PSD) .
In this episode, Karlee talks with Dr. Valerie Rein, who discovered PSD and created the science-backed system to helping women achieve their ultimate success, happiness, and fulfillment. Her work has led to the creation of groundbreaking programs, helping thousands of women find freedom and reclaim their authentic selves.
If you ever find your own mental critic to be especially harsh, or that your body’s having perplexing health symptoms right before things are about to get good, it’s not because you’re doing something wrong. These are signs of PSD – and this episode is for you.
Throughout their conversation, Karlee and Dr. Valerie break down what exactly Patriarchy Stress Disorder is, how to identify the symptoms, and start reversing the effects. Expect to walk away from this episode with an entirely new understanding about what’s going on in your mind and body, as well as a path forward that allows you to live into what your heart really desires.
Tune in to discover the antidote to the condition affecting women worldwide and the pathway to living limitlessly.
In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
- How inherited trauma inhibits women’s success behind the scenes. (10:21)
- How the symptoms of PSD show up in women’s lives. (16:10)
- How women’s realities are created from the wound of worthlessness under the patriarchy. (28:54)
- What first steps to take to begin the process of healing PSD. (33:45)
- Why PSD is particularly being triggered worldwide right now in the face of C-19, and what we can do about it. (48:17)
Some Questions Karlee Asks:
- What is Patriarchy Stress Disorder? (10:00)
- How can women identify the ways PSD affect them? (24:42)
- What practical exercise and tools can women use to begin healing from PSD? (32:47)
- Did you have any "prison guards" show up as you wrote your book? (41:32)
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Patriarchy Stress Disorder by Dr. Valerie Rein
Dr. Valerie’s Website
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So, you have great people in your life, but what do you do when they just don’t understandwhy you’re striving for something more? Not everyone is satisfied with living out the status quo but finding a support system that really gets it is challenging.
In this episode, Karlee talks with Ginni Saraswati: multi-award-winning broadcast journalist, podcast produce, and podcast host. Ginni gets it; even as a known expert in the podcasting realm, not everybody understands what she’s doing with her life and career.
Throughout this episode, Karlee and Ginni break down how to cultivate a tribe that supports your dreams and goals and always has your back. Ginni also shares about how she grew from being a nearly silent child to founding a media company, why time is her most valued asset and how she protects that asset at all costs.
Tune in to learn about Ginni’s journey from messy to a magnificent life.
Some Questions I Ask:
- Can you think of a moment when you began to speak up as a child? (8:37)
- How did you start to learn when to put up boundaries in certain areas of your life? (13:20)
- Where does your sense of courage come from? (22:10)
- How did you build your tribe? (26:21)
- What’s one mistake that you’ve made that you’re thankful for now? (39:15)
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- How Ginni went from being a shy child to creating a media business. (5:52)
- How Ginni built her self-awareness around how to cultivate space for herself that prioritizes her wellbeing. (13:47)
- How people’s relationship to their time correlates with their relationship to money and other people’s time. (17:39)
- What Ginni’s support system looks like and why it’s so important to her. (22:53)
- How our bodies hold us accountable when we take time to rest. (33:38)
- How to listen to what people don’t say. (41:32)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Episode 2: How to Make Friends as an Adult
Ginni Media
The Ginni Show
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In the face of sudden changes, there are things that ARE working to keep us steady within our selves when things feel uncertain around us.
This is the time the planet comes together, ironically through staying home. And in this moment when we lay low to protect our most vulnerable, we are likely to brush up against our own vulnerabilities too. With that in mind, Karlee's team have met daily, to answer this question:
"In the face of this before us, how can we be of the most service to our clients and podcast community?". The answers to that question has led to a VERY special episode.
In this episode, Karlee Fain shares the antidote to fear and overwhelm. (Hint it’s not to "do all the things" or have all the answers. It's about knowing where to focus your attention so that you feel steady even when you don't have all the answers yet.)
She explains how reclaiming some of your simple rituals and routines can keep you feeling grounded, even when everything else seems up in the air. But then she takes it one step further: Karlee has created a guided visualization to lead you back home within yourself, so that you can hear the volume of your truth over the noise in the world around you.
Tune in to learn how to incorporate rituals and routines even when life gets shaken up. Expect to to regain some of your balance amidst uncertainty on the spot.
In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
- How focus functions as the antidote to fear. (6:40)
- Why we feel off-balance amidst rapid change. (12:39)
- How to find rituals that ground you and create stability in your life. (14:15)
- How you can be in charge of many parts of the way your day unfolds. (16:53)
- The tool to help you feel steady within yourself: a self-sourced truth visualization. (20:54)
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
RSVP to Join Karlee LIVE in her home, from yours, to gather our wits and wisdom together on March 26th
Episode 19: Sh*t just hit the fan; How We Do Well At Work During Tough Times
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"How am I supposed to focus on my work, when my heart tender and I'm distracted by something in my personal life?"
There you are, minding your own business, going through the day and through your agenda, and then, suddenly, Boom! Something happens in your personal life - you find yourself having to juggle your career and a personal challenge at the same time.
It’s not easy to get work done when we’re feeling pulled in 10 different directions and our mind and heart are in a totally different space. It feels hard because it is!
We are human, not robots, and when something in our life changes, we have to give ourselves permission to change up the way we do somethings at work.
In this episode, Karlee shares the secret sauce used by women who are able to keep on showing up to do their best work even when life is throwing them curve balls. She explains the four pillars that will keep you sturdy in your career when you’re facing a personal challenge, and after listening to her, you’ll walk away with a new way of approaching your work.
*Tune in to learn how to get far more done, in far less time, so that your career does well while you tend to your personal life too.
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- How to stop acting like everything’s normal, when it actually isn’t. (09:12)
- How to face the emotions that overwhelm you. (11:53)
- What to focus on during tough times. (15:28)
- When to ask yourself the question, “What do I need right now?” (18:03)
- How to increase your efficiency and productivity at work, by leveraging this “sacred interruption”. (19:24)
- How to apply the 80/20 Principle. (20:30)
- Some examples of the 80/20 Principle into action. (24:31)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
- Episode 1: One Word That Will Elevate Everything You Do
- Episode 12: Permission to Rest: And how to have the time to do it!
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“Ugh. I wish I’d just said no!”
Does that thought ever come through your head after you commit to taking on something new?
There’s certainly nothing like saying yes to something exciting in the moment, then realizing down the line that you’re too exhausted and resentful to give it your all.
This is time sabotage, which is what this week’s episode is all about. In this episode, Karlee Fain deconstructs all the ways that women accidentally misuse our time, and then she equips you with the tools to help spot those time sucks a mile away. This way, you’ll know what to do with the things that are headed your way before they even begin draining your energy. Karlee covers the 3 Bs of self-sabotage that show up most commonly for her clients and the antidote for each one.
Tune in to get super clear about the time traps in your life that are all too easy to walk into, and how to avoid them in the future.
In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
- What time sabotage looks like in everyday life. (7:10)
- The foundational mindset to defend against self-sabotage. (10:14)
- How to pause before committing to busywork. (13:05)
- How boundaries create a bridge instead of barriers between you and others. (16:54)
- How to take hold of the steering wheel of your life again, so you get to decide where you spend your time and energy. (19:07)
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
START HERE: Apply for a Private Break Through Coaching Session
Free Access to Karlee's Boundaries Like a BOSS Online Course
Episode 15: Building the Habit of Courage: How to stop enduring what drains you
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So you just want tosnap at someone lately, huh? And you feel terrible about that, because you're a kind person. All these little irritants are building up, and it feels like something’s got to give though.
Or maybe you're:
- Finding yourself both tired and wired at the end of the day, you want to rest but your mind is still racing.
- You have perplexing health symptoms that you used to pop an aspirin for, but that's not cutting it anymore.
- You are praised for how much you get done, but you know you are capable of more, but have too much on your plate to get it all.
- You know you want something to change, but you don't even know what you really want or who you are these days.
There are sure-fire signs that it’s time to get self-full, and this is the episode for you.
As driven women around the world, we’re done burning our bodies, minds, and spirits into the ground in order to take care of what everybody else wants. It’s time to start prioritizing ourselves, but how do we do that when we also need/want to help others too?
Here’s the thing: nourishing yourself deeply is the way to be of the most service to yourself and others in the long run, and Karlee is going to show you how to do both well without wanting to snap.
In this episode, Karlee Fain drops some wisdom on finding the appropriate balance between caring for ourselves and others. Throughout this episode, she explains in-depth about what it means to be self-full and what symptoms to watch out for that indicate it’s time for some self-care. She breaks down the mindsets that successful women know and live by, and how you can make all this stick in your own life.
Tune in to take your first step toward being a self-full, nourished, happy human again.
In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
- Why being selfless is pointless, and what it means to be “self-full” (7:13)
- What symptoms point to being ready to be self-full. (12:11)
- Why joy is a professional priority for women who thrive at work. (16:23)
- Why high-achieving women resist the need to slow down and nourish themselves, and what to do about it. (22:34)
- Why it’s okay to potentially disappoint other people. (23:58)
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
START HERE: Breakthrough Coaching Sessions
Free Access to Karlee's Boundaries Like a BOSS Online Course
Episode 4: 5 Doable Steps to Setting Realistic Boundaries
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There you are, having an idea, or getting a hunch it's time to start something, and boom - doubt arrives like an uninvited house guest - freezing you over on the spot, bringing up all sorts of fears that make it hard to reach your next achievement. Familiar?
Doubt is often an internal conversation that can stop you in your tracks, paralyzing us into staying stuck and unsure. Oftentimes, nobody else even knows about the doubts you’re wrestling with. This is really common for driven when and high achievers. As the go-to person for everybody else in your life, you may or may not get to actually share your own doubts and fears.
If you’re wondering, “Do I have what it takes to navigate forward?” or, “Why haven’t I figured it all out yet?” then this episode is for you.
In this episode, Karlee Fain goes behind the microphone once more to provide some clarity and relief for the things plaguing highly driven women. This week, she breaks down 5 doable steps that will transform your doubt into power, clarity, and confidence.
Tune in and tell your doubt to take the backseat for once, because you are about to take the wheel and drive.
In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
- What happens when you recognize the importance of the "I have no idea what to do next" phase of growth. (7:50)
- How doubt brings gifts too. (9:25)
- How self-judgment only leads you to truth amnesia. (10:39)
- What the antidote for doubt is. (13:45)
- The framework for transforming doubt into confidence. (15:48)
- How to practically boost your self-confidence. (18:22)
Resources Mentioned:
Elizabeth Gilbert’s TED Talks
Episode 3: Done Burning out? The 4 phases of growth and sustaining success
Found this helpful? Leave a review on your podcast app and share a screenshot of this episode on social media so other women can see it. Tag Karlee so she can give you a shout out on Instagram or Facebook.
Or drop Karlee a line here.
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How long have you had a hunch that it's time to make a change, but you have been too overwhelmed to even know that change would look like?
It’s easy to get lost in the day-to-day repetitiveness of life without noticing how it’s draining you—and it can feel overwhelming to know how to start making a change.
The good news: the catalyst for big change can come in a super small step that leads to a burst of inspiration and motivation. This type of a-ha moment creates a permanent shift, bringing you closer to your own wisdom and truth. This catalyst for change could be absolutely anything—even a jar of spaghetti sauce.
In this special episode, Karlee provides the unique opportunity of getting a taste of what her coaching sessions are like. Before working with Karlee, Dana Lemay had the kind of life that looked great on paper—but secretly killing her in reality. Even with a great job and great compensation, she went home each day exhausted, drained, and unhappy. After experiencing a small catalyst that inspired change, she felt empowered to leave negativity in her past and open herself up to a new and improved, nourished life.
You will be witness to when Dana experiences her own “a-ha” moment live on this episode, where she realizes what tiny step actually upgraded her career and life. Now, she understands what it takes to develop a habit of courage so that she feels capable of making decisions to hold herself and her wellbeing in the highest regard.
Tune in to gain insight into how to establish boundaries with yourself and create a life that nourishes you every single day.
Some Questions Karlee Asks:
- What made you reach out to me for coaching? (9:07)
- What finally helped you make the switch from a draining career to a nourishing one? (17:31)
- How is the need to practice boundaries showing up in your world? (24:30)
- What can you do differently to create space to set appropriate boundaries? (32:48)
- What fills your internal validation cup now? (37:22)
- What do you now know to be true that you didn’t know then? (45:34)
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- How Dana learned to trust her intuition. (11:04)
- What happens when you don’t listen to your gut instincts. (13:53)
- Why taking small steps makes a loud and lasting impact. (22:06)
- How Dana sets boundaries with herself. (24:37)
- Dana’s experience as a recovering people pleaser. (34:07)
- How Dana builds up her courage. (39:27)
Resources Mentioned:
Episode 11: Is it the right time to change careers?
Get FREE instant access to Karlee's Boundaries Like a Boss online course
Connect with Dana Lemay on Facebook and Instagram @OneMinuteMinimalist or her website Dana-Lemay.com
Found this helpful? Leave a review on your podcast app and share a screenshot of this episode on social media so other women can see it. Tag Karlee so she can give you a shout out on Instagram or Facebook.
Or drop Karlee a line here.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
You have a new goal in mind, or some good news to share - but who are the people that will "get it" will have your back as you grow into something new?
Ever noticed that there are some people who really celebrate with you? They can’t wait to be by your side, supporting you, and giving you space to gush your heart out. But then, in contrast, there are others that just never seem to get excited about the things you care about.
There was a basic assumption that the foundational purpose behind relationships is to be supportive of one another during hardship. While this is really important, it’s not the telltale sign of what makes the strongest relationships. Turns out, celebrating positive experiences with one another is what creates deeper, more meaningful relationships AND it's exactly what allows us to keep on rising.
In this episode, Karlee breaks down why celebrations are so crucial to developing deeper, stronger relationships, and practically, what those types of relationships look like. Specifically, Karlee describes the 4 types of responses people give after you share exciting news or a new goal you have, and which one will actually be helpful in the end.
Expect to walk away from this episode being crystal clear about who to turn to when you want to grow into something new or better, and who you might not want to bring your best ideas or successful moments to,
Tune in to learn how to spot the types of relationships in your life that will help you rise together.
In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
- How celebrating wins helps us connect deeper with others. (7:09)
- The 4 responses people can have to our goals or good news. (9:15)
- What one type of response to our news actually strengthens bonds between two people and elevates us. (15:34)
- How to get extra momentum and leverage the good things happening in your life/career to create more "wins". (20:00)
Resources Mentioned:
“He said, she said: A quasi-signal detection analysis of daily interactions between close relationship partners” by Gable, Reis, & Downey
Found this helpful? Leave a review on your podcast app and share a screenshot of this episode on social media so other women can see it. Tag Karlee so she can give you a shout out on Instagram or Facebook.
Or drop Karlee a line here.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
In the span of human history, some women have gained access to the right to manage their own money mere seconds ago....
With so many opinions out there about what you "should" being doing with your money - it can feel overwhelming to make any upgrades at all.
So when Karlee found a simple way to take charge of her finances, and her clients got great results with it too, she couldn't wait to make sure all women have access to her low-tech method.
Because here's the interesting thing: feeling financially unsure isn't just about how much is available in your bank account. And when we feel unsure in one area, like finances, that sense of being out of control call deflate our confidence in other areas too.
In this episode, Karlee takes the initiative to nip some money tension in the bud. She explains the cyclical nature of money and how to maximize your relationship with money in a way that is doable based on where you are.
From this episode, you’ll come out with simple, tailored steps that’ll have you feeling more empowered, clear, and confident about your financial game.
Expect to walk away feeling capable of making upgrades with your money that upgrade your health and relationships too.
Tune in to learn how leveling up your money game can level up your own sense of power, worth, and clarity.
In This Episode You’ll Learn:
- How to start removing the self-sabotaging beliefs that make money feel challenging. (9:29)
- One doable practice to start improving your relationship with money. (12:08)
- About the four cyclical seasons of money, and which season you are in. (16:55)
- How tracking your expenses and income can be super simple and impactful for your money game. (22:46)
- What a bold money goal looks like for you. (26:11)
Resources Mentioned:
Money Is My Friend by Phil Laut
Found this helpful? Leave a review on your podcast app and share a screenshot of this episode on social media so other women can see it. Tag Karlee so she can give you a shout out on Instagram or Facebook.
Or drop Karlee a line here.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
You are NOT the only person that feels like they just can’t keep up.
Sure, it seems like everyone else is able to keep on going, but nobody is really capable of sustaining the break-neck pace our culture sells us caffeine to keep up with - without something falling apart. You've been working hard for a long time, and it's only giving you more to do.
So if you want to have a vibrant career, health and relationships all at the same time in our modern economy, pushing harder won't get you there. Instead, those that thrive know you must give yourself permission to rest to have your best.
This is the part where you are rolling your eyes right? Because of course you want to rest, but when are you supposed to have the time for that, huh? Don't worry, Karlee outlines 3 doable ways that busy folks use to have more time to rest on the spot.
Permission to rest is something only you can grant yourself. Even if you haven’t finished that project yet, or still have to-dos to cross off, or even if you feel like you don’t deserve it. (Heads up - we talk about why you many NEVER feel like you deserve more rest in this episode, do don't wait for that to happen, ha!)
Here’s the truth: When we take moments to rest and digest information around us, we think better, we make better decisions, and we perform at a higher level.
If you’ve ever thought to yourself, “Oh my gosh, I need more rest than I am getting,” then this is the episode for you.
In this episode, Karlee Fain breaks down two specific ideas today. First, she explains why rest is a professional asset in the modern economy. Then, Karlee shares 3 doable methods to start creating more space to rest, nourish yourself, and reset your mental game.
Tune in to take your next step toward becoming the most nourished woman in the room.
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- Why it’s not "okay" to rest, it's essential. (11:58)
- How to leverage your nervous system to engage in your most powerful work. (13:35)
- Why you may avoid resting even though you want to, and it can bring up the emotions you’ve previously numbed. (21:53)
- Doable steps for creating space and time to rest. (27:41)
- If you are behaving like a sperm (yeah, you read that right) and what “egg wisdom” looks like. (35:38)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
The Patriarchy Stress Disorder by Valerie Rein
It Didn’t Start with You by Mark Wolynn
Do Less by Kate Northrup
5 Doable Steps to Setting Realistic Boundaries
FREE Boundaries Like a Boss Online Class
Kripalu Center
Found this helpful? Leave a review on your podcast app and share a screenshot of this episode on social media so other women can see it. Tag Karlee so she can give you a shout out on Instagram or Facebook.
Or drop Karlee a line here.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
How do you know when it’s time to change your career? This is the question that driven people are constantly asking themselves, and it's a question we want to answer correctly, right?! After all, changing your career might shift everything around in your life as well. So, how do you know when you’re ready?
In this episode, Karlee invites a surprise guest to her studio, Kelsey Fain, a business owner with a courageous story of taking a professional leap, that happens to be her sister. They discuss what it takes to leave jobs that look good on paper, and dive into the life they wanted to create for themselves. This is a no-BS, no sugar-coating kind of conversation. Together, they talk about the financial aspects of shifting your career, how they learned to handle the influx of work, and ultimately why, at the end of the day. they feel more inspired to keep pushing forward.
Here’s the deal: There’s never going to be a “perfect” time to take the leap. You just have to do it – but you can do it strategically.
Tune in to learn about how to deal with the transition to consciously creating the life you want to live.
Some Questions I Ask:
- Before you left your corporate job, what made you notice that it was time for a change? (3:32)
- What do you know now that you didn’t know prior to switching careers? (16:32)
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- What pushed Kelsey to take her first step into a career change. (7:38)
- How Kelsey created an “exit strategy” for herself so she didn't leap blindly. (8:52)
- How to create the roots for your rising. (10:25)
- What mindset helps treat imposter syndrome and overwhelm. (16:49)
- Why those that thrive remove “should” from their vocabulary. (19:54)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Done Burning Out? The 4 phases of growth and sustaining success
Kelsey Fain Photo Website
Found this helpful? Leave a review on your podcast app and share a screenshot of this episode on social media so other women can see it. Tag Karlee so she can give you a shout out on Instagram or Facebook.
Or drop Karlee a line here.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Ever have the urge to ask yourself or someone you admire, “Am I doing my life right?”
Folks who are introspective and aim to live a life of intentionality will often brush up against this question. But here’s the truth: There is no one ideal way of doing things that works for everybody.
For most, there is no yellow brick road that you will stumble on that will lead you to the life you’re striving for. The truth is, you’ll have to carve that path out for yourself.
Creating a life you love means it’s not going to be handed to you. It’s something you will cultivate. But here's the good news:
In this episode, Karlee relieves the pressure of finding “the one right path” for your life so that you can start to breathe again. Instead of trying to identify that path, Karlee walks through how to navigate your path forward, even if you don’t have it all figured out quite yet.
Tune in to learn the foundation of creating your own path and utilizing a navigational tool that will light the way in the darkness as you start to figure things out for yourself.
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- That you are NOT lost. (6:20)
- What walking your path might actually look like. (11:07)
- Why experiencing “dips” are totally normal and how to get through them. (15:47)
- What it looks like to rise out of Purgatorio into Paradisio. (17:24)
- Why you get so uncomfortable once you realize you want things to change. (25:39)
- What two things that women who are able to navigate their path implement into their lives. (26:41)
- How to become the leader of your own life. (34:42)
Resources Mentioned:
VIDEO: Joan Borysenko on the Narrative of Transformation
The Dip by Seth Godin
Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert
Kate Northrup
Let it Go by Drew Rozell
Wild by Cheryl Strayed
Dear Sugars Podcast
Mary Oliver
Found this helpful? Leave a review on your podcast app and share a screenshot of this episode on social media so other women can see it. Tag Karlee so she can give you a shout out on Instagram or Facebook.
Or drop Karlee a line here.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Are you curious about what goes on behind closed doors for other people? Well buckle up, because you're about to go on a unexpected ride behind-the-scenes with Karlee as she "spills the tea" on the unconventional ways she runs her business and her and life. (And if you are just plain nosy, this episode is for you too.)
Recently, Karlee asked a group of women that she works with what they wanted to know about her—and they came in hot with juicy questions that held nothing back.
In this episode, Karlee uncovers the specific tactics she uses to stay on track with her work, life, and all the places that they intersect. She explains the strategies she to stay organized and keep her priorities in check and how she keeps her mental game in check when times are hard.
Karlee is unapologetically honest about the mistakes she’s made in the past while running a business, how social media affects her life, and the low-tech system she, and her clients use, to let go of the things that are holding them back and know precisely where to focus their attention for maximum results.
She's specific about the methods that work - learn the tools that allow Karlee to thrive in her personal and professional life, and put the ones that inspire you, to good use for your own career and spirit on the spot.
Some Questions Karlee Answer's:
- How has my business evolved from where you started? (7:41)
- What is the one thing that helps my business the most? (15:32)
- What’s your diet like? (22:32)
- How do you process what you’re responsible for and then let go of what you can't possibly get to? (30:40)
- How do you stay motivated? (32:52)
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- What mistakes have impacted my life today. (10:40)
- What I wish my younger self knew when starting my business. (17:52)
- How I prioritize my weekly to-dos. (29:09)
- What my relationship with social media looks like. (34:12)
- How I combat the testosterone-driven method of running a business that I was taught in business school. (38:15)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Reclaiming Time Studio
Found this helpful? Leave a review on your podcast app and share a screenshot of this episode on social media so other women can see it. Tag Karlee so she can give you a shout out on Instagram or Facebook.
Or drop Karlee a line here.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
What’s the one thing that if you went a little deeper into it, it would make everything else in your life either easier or not necessary at all?
The answer might not be what you expect.
This episode is NOT about traditional goal setting (you know, the kind of goals that you set because it's what everyone else is doing, and then you can't following through on them, or worse, you do follow through but don't feel any better). If you feel like you’re good at dreaming and setting an intention, but then struggle to follow through on goals to the finish line, today’s episode is for you. The key to follow through is nourishment—not punishment. The goals you set for yourself should be sourced from you, excite you, and nourish you.
In this episode, Karlee explains how to define these self-sourced goals, create the roadmap, and actually follow through all the way to success.
Here’s the thing about people who follow through on goals: they don’t just think and talk about it. They take action. This method will help you build confidence, ensure that the goal excites you to your bones and is realistically achievable.
Tune in to learn the five-step method of creating the self-sourced goals that will nourish you and that you will follow through on.
In This Episode, you Will Learn:
- The key to following through on plans to achieve goals. (5:10)
- What characteristics make an effective goal. (5:51)
- How to build confidence with setting and achieving goals. (9:58)
- How to pick the “destination” for your goal. (12:00)
- How to make sure you are getting the nourishment required to follow through on your goal. (20:14)
- Recap: How to create self-sourced goals. (27:41)
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Best Little Book Program with Karin & Drew Rozell
Found this helpful? Leave a review on your podcast app and share a screenshot of this episode on social media so other women can see it. Tag Karlee so she can give you a shout out on Instagram or Facebook.
Or drop Karlee a line here.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
“What should I be doing with my life?”
It’s that time of year: when many people begin assessing how they’re living now and how they want to live in the future. But, where do you start? And just as important, how do you follow through once you begin?
Knowing what to do with your life and where to focus your attention is something that most haven’t learned how to do yet. The key here is finding a way to set goals that work for you as the individual that you are. There is one-size-fits-all solutions here.
In this episode, Karlee walks through the step-by-step process of how to establish the foundation that will serve you deeply and nourish you along the way to achieving your goals.
There are 4 pillars that hold up this foundation: dare to pause and get intentional, get nourished, do the review, and determine what you truly value. When you do this foundational work prior to setting goals, your progress won’t just look good on paper—it’ll nourish and fulfill you.
The key here is to find a way to put a reasonable amount of effort into achieving these goals (not working around the clock) and still seeing extraordinary results. That’s how this foundation will become the launching pad for you to take off from.
Tune in to start figuring out the right next step for you, and how to set yourself up for growth and success in 2020.
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- What a magnificent goal looks like. (6:56)
- The 4 pillars that create a foundation of a magnificent goal. (10:55)
- How to identify what the right next step for you is. (13:34)
- What 3 main things to review before setting new goals (18:18)
- How identifying what you most value will help you build your goals. (27:48)
Found this helpful? Leave a review on your podcast app and share a screenshot of this episode on social media so other women can see it. Tag Karlee so she can give you a shout out on Instagram or Facebook.
Or drop Karlee a line here.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Ever feel the pressure to make sure things are just absolutely perfect for everyone, especially during the holidays or other full times? From gifts to making great food, to how to spend your time, there’s so much pressure to make sure that everything you do makes everyone else happy.
Feeling pulled in like 10 directions at the same time?
With the holidays near, it’s important to figure out how to nourish yourself during a busy time and create a framework around full times that is life-giving for you.
In this episode, Dr. Maria Sirois dives deep into how to care for yourself during the holidays or any extra “full” time in your life.
This notion of “self-care” has shifted recently It’s no longer just about getting enough sleep and going to the gym a few times a week. It’s all about knowing how to deal with challenging people in challenging circumstances. Maria outlined beautifully how to make a really small—but hugely transformative—shift in our fullest times so that we still get to experience what we want more of in our life.
Tune in to learn how to navigate the holidays in a way that gives you life.
Some Questions I Ask:
- What does being intentional during a busy time look like? (7:09)
- What’s an example of a life-giving question? (10:17)
- How do we navigate finding pause, grace, and ease during the holidays? (14:46)
- What is one mistake that you’ve made that you’re thankful for now? (38:13)
- Even if others don’t agree, what do you know to be true? (40:09)
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- How to take a pause and ask a life-giving question to create openness within yourself. (8:08)
- The three-step framework to guide you through the holidays. (16:11)
- What simple but BIG "aha" Maria has learned about navigating the holidays. (19:18)
- How to take the pressure off of giving the perfect gifts. (22:06)
- How to consciously craft the holidays in a way that gives you life. (25:40)
- A great way to stop yourself from being spread too thin when people need your attention (35:36)
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Maria Sirois’ Website
Contact Maria Sirois
Job Crafting – Amy Wrzesniewski on creating meaning in your own work
Found this episode helpful? Leave a review on your podcast app and share a screenshot of this episode on social media so other women can see it. Tag Karlee so she can give you a shout out on Instagram or Facebook
Or drop Karlee a line here.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
No sooner does change come calling, than the dreaded questions arise, right?!
Those questions might sound like, "What am I going to do next?!" or "Who am I to think things could get better?"
Change, by it's very nature is unsettling, but there is another way to renew your clarity, confidence and thrive even in the face of some unknowns.
In this episode, Karlee explains how to cure that overwhelm when change comes calling: asking better questions.
There are 5 specific questions that help us navigate change in a way that is whole and nourishing, rather than intimidating or draining. This is the doable way to navigate change without having to have it all figured out.
Here’s the truth: those who thrive while life shifts around them give their attention to one main thing. They softly, but consistently, fan the flames of their focused attention on specific questions that elevate them.
Tune in to learn methods and strategies to help you thrive as you navigate change, upgrading from overwhelm into your new best.
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- What the antidote to feeling overwhelmed is. (6:38)
- How asking questions affects your energy & impact. (12:05)
- The 5 questions to ask when change comes calling. (19:18)
- What the hardest thing is for driven women to do. (25:59)
- What mental exercise can help uncover unconscious solutions. (27:20)
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Episode 3
Found this episode helpful? Leave a review on your podcast app and share a screenshot of this episode on social media so other women can see it. Tag Karlee so she can give you a shout out on Instagram or Facebook
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Feel like you just don’t have the capacity to get to “all the things”? You’re a hard worker - yet secretly you often feel like you’re falling short of what you know you are capable of?
It’s time to set some boundaries. But how do you know exactly when and how to speak up, without feeling guilty or unclear?
Boundaries don’t make you a jerk, and their purpose is not to push people away. Boundaries create a framework to lean into the things you really care about and live life on your own terms.
In this episode, Karlee Fain talks about modern boundaries, what they look like, and how to make them doable. Karlee’s steps to create custom boundaries can be immediately implemented into your life, without feeling cumbersome or scary. These steps are very doable, and once a regular part of your interactions with others, they will empower you to live on your own terms.
Tune in to learn how to become a pro at saying “no,” and open up your capacity to focus on what really matters.
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- How you know when it’s time to elevate your boundaries. (4:45)
- What 3 foundation mindsets that women with healthy boundaries already know. (9:40)
- The 5 steps to custom create the boundary that’s perfect for you. (13:30)
- What phrase to repeat to empower yourself as you implement boundaries. (26:20)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
“How to Have Boundaries Like A Boss” FREE MASTER GUIDE: The 5 Steps to go from overscheduled to having time abundance (without feeling guilty about it)
Listen to Episode 2 about Popular Isolation
Yes Please by Amy Poehler
Connect with Karlee Fain:
Website
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
There’s an old myth out there that tells us that success needs to look like constant exponential growth and having “big wins” all the time—and if that’s not what it looks like for you, then you’re falling behind. That’s total BS.
This “Go big or go home!” mentality is both exhausting and unnecessary.
If we drew our professional and personal growth out on a piece of paper, it wouldn’t look like a straight upward line—that’s never been sustainable in the long-term. Instead, sustainable success looks more like a cycle, including moments of having no idea what you’re doing, to cultivating and sharing an idea, to reflecting on the execution and results.
In this episode, Karlee Fain breaks down the four phases of modern success, what they practically look like, and how to unapologetically get the most out of whatever phase you’re in right now. Here’s the deal: it’s time to stop playing small in order to make others feel comfortable. Give yourself permission to lead with your idea, with what inspires you, and what uplifts you.
Tune in to learn about this wise approach to knowing exactly where you are in your phase of growth, which steps make sense for you, and how to ultimately live on your own terms.
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- How to consciously create the life you want. (4:15)
- The myths around vertical success. (5:04)
- The four phases of upward sustainable success. (11:26)
- Why taking the time to be still and listen to yourself is essential to moving forward. (13:53)
- How to protect emerging ideas from being squashed by questions and imposter syndrome. (16:23)
- What a culmination practice practically looks like. (24:47)
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Do Less by Kate Northrup
Maria Sirois, Psy.D
Navigating a Graceful Transition: Your New Best Life
4 Phases Master Sheet Free Download to Accompany This Episode
Connect with Karlee Fain:
Website
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Ever feel like you’re surrounded by good people, but nobody really understands what you have to do to get through each day? Other people praise you for how much you get done, or how good your life and career look on paper, yet you know you are capable of more...but when is that supposed to happen when you are so busy, right?!
There’s a term for this: Popular Isolation.
In this episode, Karlee Fain is going to share proven strategies for curing Popular Isolation: develop meaningful adult relationships that go below the surface to lift you up. She covers research-based reasons for why having quality friends really matters as adults, and how strong friendships uplift society. To make sure all bases are covered, Karlee also shares 3 doable ways to start making friends as an adult.
Because here’s the deal: If you don’t consciously create the opportunities to create meaningful connections with people that nourish you deeply, you might not notice until you are exhausted, depleted, and always feeling behind. The good news: this is fixable.
Tune in to learn how to form meaningful, lasting relationships with friends as an adult, and how the power of healthy friendships will elevate you from feeling like you are never enough, to a career and lifestyle that loves you back.
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- Why having quality friends as adults improve all aspects of life & society. (4:04)
- How women and men respond to stress differently. (5:24)
- The symptoms of Popular Isolation. (8:59)
- What key attributes to look for in good friends, and who to avoid. (12:42)
- How to cure Popular Isolation. (16:25)
- Some conversation starters to help you dive below the surface. (18:27)
- Three quick and actionable ways to make friends as an adult. (21:50)
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
“Biobehavioral responses to stress in females: tend-and-befriend, not fight-or-flight.”
Sacred Success by Barbra Stanny
“Episode 147: 7 Ways to Make Friends As an Adult” on the Kate & Mike Show
Connect with Karlee Fain:
Website
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Have you ever had this inkling that you’re meant to do something great?
Guess what? You’re right.
In this episode, Karlee Fain is going to share a nugget of truth that will help driven women elevate their lives and live out their dreams. Over the last 12 years, Karlee established a private coaching practice focused on eliminating the busy work and finding space to breathe again. With the combination of a single mindset shift, a single word, and the willpower to push forward, you’re on your way to unlocking your full potential.
These are not cheap, quick-fixes or overnight miracles. It’s all about establishing a method and taking small, doable action steps in the direction you want to go. With this, you’ll learn to sustain your successes and recover from pitfalls
Tune in to learn how to create a personalized, doable plan to take you from messy to magnificent.
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- How to stand out in your career and personal life, lighting up every space you’re in. (1:08)
- Why we need transformation more than we need information. (4:55)
- The powerful mindset that allows women to thrive in their careers, health, and relationships. (10:36)
- The one word that will transform you from messy to magnificent. (15:56)
- How to practically acknowledge the challenges and lean toward optimism every day. (25:46)
Connect with Karlee Fain:
Website
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.