Couples Therapy In Seven Words: Recent Episodes
Dr. Bruce Chalmer
Be Kind, Don‘t Panic, and Have Faith. Psychologist Dr. Bruce Chalmer and educator Judy Alexander talk about relationships, interview fascinating guests, and answer your questions.
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/iUELr23ilxY.
Long-time listeners of our podcast, or those of you who follow my (Bruce’s) work, might recognize that title, “Reigniting the Spark,” as the title of my first book on relationships.
Now I’ve created a self-paced video course based on a lot of the same ideas. In this episode, Judy and I talk about why couples might lose the spark, and how it’s possible to get it back. I talk about some of my favorite ideas: stability, intimacy, and the passion paradox; the need to tolerate anxiety without dissolving into panic; the role of faith as the antidote to panic; and more.
Our podcast website is at https://ctin7.com.
Information about my video courses:
Reigniting the Spark: https://drbrucechalmer.thinkific.com/courses/reigniting-the-spark
Betrayal and Forgiveness: https://drbrucechalmer.thinkific.com/courses/betrayal-and-forgiveness-course
Discernment: https://drbrucechalmer.thinkific.com/courses/discernment
The Passion Paradox: https://drbrucechalmer.thinkific.com/products/courses/thepassionparadox
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message.
Judy’s book is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
couplestherapyinsevenwords #ctin7 #stability #intimacy #ThePassionParadox #ReignitingTheSpark #BetrayalAndForgiveness #Discernment #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/muVs-NhSv-U.
Our guest in this episode is Tyler Patrick, a marriage and family therapist who works with couples dealing with betrayal trauma and addiction recovery. Tyler tells us about his own journey, and how the struggles he and his wife went through have both challenged and strengthened their relationship.
Tyler’s website is http://therapybrothers.org/couples-therapy.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message.
Bruce’s self-paced video courses are now available! More information: https://brucechalmer.com/courses. Use the coupon code “ctin7” for 20% off!
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
CouplesTherapyInSevenWords #ctin7 #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/7bf-FUL0Hw8.
Our guest in this episode, Dr. Rachel Orleck, uses Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) in her work with couples. She explains how EFT applies the insights of attachment theory to help couples find safe, deep reconnection.
And, much to my (Bruce’s) delight, she points out that working on communication doesn’t solve the problem! (Recall that one my books is called It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong.)
Rachel’s website is https://drrachelorleck.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message.
Bruce’s self-paced video courses are now available! More information: https://brucechalmer.com/courses. Use the coupon code “ctin7” for 20% off!
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
CouplesTherapyInSevenWords #ctin7 #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/Lt1GOUpHFFo.
Why does libido so often seem to fade in a long-term relationship, especially for women? Is it possible it’s not inevitable? Our guest in this episode, Caroline Hood, says it’s not inevitable—and tells how couples can support a great sex life over the long haul. Her forthcoming book is Sex Begets Sex: Reclaiming Desire as an Act of Female Empowerment.
Caroline’s website is https://www.desireinreallife.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message.
Bruce’s self-paced video courses are now available! More information: https://brucechalmer.com/courses. Use the coupon code “ctin7” for 20% off!
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
CouplesTherapyInSevenWords #ctin7 #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/FDZUJQEnR28.
How can a couple reinforce and deepen their emotional connection? Our guests in this episode, Dr. Penny Goldmuntz and Rabbi Michael Trachter, are a married couple who help other couples do just that. They tell us about how they work with couples to help them create a “Story of Us,” so they approach both problems and joys with a sense of teamwork and intimacy.
Michael and Penny’s websites are https://michaelandpenny.com/ and https://pennyandmichael.com. The app Michael describes in the episode is available at https://10minutedate.michaelandpenny.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message.
Bruce’s self-paced video courses are now available! More information: https://brucechalmer.com/courses. Use the coupon code “ctin7” for 20% off!
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
CouplesTherapyInSevenWords #ctin7 #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/Wacw1Cz7JfM.
We had a blast having this conversation with Amanda Dames! Amanda is “The Kink Consultant,” on a mission to destigmatize kink, empower exploration, and help individuals and couples build bridges so they can own and express their fantasies safely.
Amanda’s website is https://www.amandadames.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message.
Bruce’s self-paced video courses are now available! Information at https://brucechalmer.com/courses.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
CouplesTherapyInSevenWords #ctin7 #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander #kink #AmandaDames
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/1b8w45QIbX8.
If your spouse or partner has betrayed you, can you heal the marriage? Dealing with betrayal trauma is, obviously, painful and difficult—but can the marriage heal?
In this episode Judy and I talk about the three options couples face when betrayal has happened, and how you might choose among them. And Bruce describes his video course that guides you to a decision.
Our podcast website is at https://ctin7.com.
Information about my video courses:
Betrayal and Forgiveness: https://drbrucechalmer.thinkific.com/courses/betrayal-and-forgiveness-course
The Passion Paradox: https://drbrucechalmer.thinkific.com/products/courses/thepassionparadox
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message.
Judy’s book is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
couplestherapyinsevenwords #ctin7 #discernment #stability #intimacy #ThePassionParadox #BetrayalAndForgiveness #betrayal #forgiveness #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/E33G8rILKy4.
If you’ve been betrayed—or if your partner has accused you of betrayal—what is it about what happened that makes it betrayal? It’s not just semantics. You can be hurt, but betrayal isn’t just hurt. Betrayal shakes your entire foundation—you not only have to doubt your trust, you have to doubt your own judgment. Betrayal trauma is its own category of pain.
Judy and I talk about what makes something rise to the level of betrayal, and consider circumstances where maybe it’s possible to rethink it.
Our newly redesigned website is at https://ctin7.com. Let us know what you think!
Information about my video course “Betrayal and Forgiveness” is at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message.
Judy’s book is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
couplestherapyinsevenwords #ctin7 #stability #intimacy #ThePassionParadox #BetrayalAndForgiveness #betrayal #forgiveness #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/9OvsfA9HEOI.
Forgiveness can mean different things—and those differences can have a significant impact on the process of healing when someone has hurt or betrayed you.
Judy and I talk about what forgiveness might mean, and how some ways of understanding it can be disempowering while other ways can be empowering.
Our newly redesigned website is at https://ctin7.com. Let us know what you think!
Information about my video course “Betrayal and Forgiveness” is at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message.
Judy’s book is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
couplestherapyinsevenwords #ctin7 #stability #intimacy #ThePassionParadox #BetrayalAndForgiveness #forgiveness #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/6_CuvZO8qbQ.
What is betrayal trauma? What makes it particularly painful?
Judy and I talk about betrayal, including some insights we’ve gained from our own experience.
Our newly redesigned website is at https://ctin7.com. Let us know what you think!
Information about my video course “Betrayal and Forgiveness” is at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message.
Judy’s book is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
couplestherapyinsevenwords #ctin7 #stability #intimacy #ThePassionParadox #BetrayalAndForgiveness #forgiveness #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/y74GP_wzKGU.
For many couples, talking about money is the third rail—you just don’t go there, or if you do, you get shocked. Our guest in this episode, Carl Richards, talks about why it’s so hard for couples to talk about money, and why money isn’t just about money. Carl’s “Sketch Guy” column ran in the New York Times for a decade.
Our conversation delved into our personal histories with money and relationships. We had a delightful time talking with Carl, and hope you’ll enjoy the conversation too!
Carl’s website is https://behaviorgap.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message.
Bruce’s self-paced video course, The Passion Paradox: When You Feel Miles Apart and Still Love Each Other, is now available! Check out the free introductory lesson. And use the coupon code “ctin7” for 20% off! Information at https:// brucechalmer.com/the-passion-paradox-course.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
CouplesTherapyInSevenWords #ctin7 #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/aRN7sDmcjfU.
What is Discernment Counseling? And how might it help you?
In this episode, Judy and I talk about situations in which Discernment Counseling is appropriate, and ways that my approach is consistent with its goals.
You can find more information about Discernment Counseling at https://brucechalmer.com/discernment-counseling-a-different-way-to-decide-what-to-do/.
Our newly redesigned website is at https://ctin7.com. Let us know what you think!
Information about the video course I mention in the episode is at https:// brucechalmer.com/courses.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message.
Judy’s book is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
couplestherapyinsevenwords #ctin7 #stability #intimacy #ThePassionParadox #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/h3McIE-iuIM.
The term “narcissist” has become something of a slur these days, and our guest in today’s episode, couples therapist James Christensen, recognizes this phenomenon. He doesn’t use the term much in working with couples, but his own experience of recognizing those tendencies in himself has helped him in his work.
We also discuss how the work of the late Dr. David Schnarch—who was also a big influence on my (Bruce’s) way of thinking about couples work—has guided James.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message.
Bruce’s self-paced video course, The Passion Paradox: When You Feel Miles Apart and Still Love Each Other, is now available! Check out the free introductory lesson. And use the coupon code “ctin7” for 20% off! Information at https:// brucechalmer.com/the-passion-paradox-course.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
CouplesTherapyInSevenWords #ctin7 #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/-nl4dO3qCpk.
In an era of political polarization, how can couples survive when they belong to different political tribes? Is it even possible? Well.. Judy and I talk about the possibilities and pitfalls.
The GMA segment we refer to is at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwo8--6n0XY.
Our newly redesigned website is at https://ctin7.com. Let us know what you think!
Information about the video course I mention in the episode is at https:// brucechalmer.com/courses.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message.
Judy’s book is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
couplestherapyinsevenwords #ctin7 #stability #intimacy #ThePassionParadox #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/6pp6GZAgptY.
How can a couple cope when one partner wants sex more often than the other? Is this inevitable in long-term relationships? Does it have to involve conflict, pressure, rejection, and pain? Our guest in this episode, Laura Jurgens, is an expert on desire discrepancy in couples and how to work through it.
Laura’s website is https://laurajurgens.com/libido.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message.
Bruce’s self-paced video course, The Passion Paradox: When You Feel Miles Apart and Still Love Each Other, is now available! Check out the free introductory lesson. And use the coupon code “ctin7” for 20% off! Information at https:// brucechalmer.com/the-passion-paradox-course.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
CouplesTherapyInSevenWords #ctin7 #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/JaYYg5luP_E.
Why are people having less sex than they used to? What role does AI play in this tendency? Have we evolved to just want sex, or are we actually looking for the deep bond of love? Judy and I talk about these issues, and try to end on a hopeful note (you be the judge!).
Our newly redesigned website is at https://ctin7.com. Let us know what you think!
Information about the video course I mention in the episode is at https:// brucechalmer.com/courses.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message.
Judy’s book is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
couplestherapyinsevenwords #ctin7 #stability #intimacy #ThePassionParadox #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/iw0zfpvcwTU.
How can a couple navigate difficult, often painful transitions at different stages of life, and emerge stronger than before? Our guests in this episode, Art and Tonya Blanchford, tell us how they’ve done it, and continue to do so.
Art’s website is https://artblanchford.com. Tonya’s website for her soon to be open café is https://coastalteacafe.com.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message.
Bruce’s self-paced video course, The Passion Paradox: When You Feel Miles Apart and Still Love Each Other, is now available! Check out the free introductory lesson. And use the coupon code “ctin7” for 20% off! Information at https:// brucechalmer.com.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
CouplesTherapyInSevenWords #ctin7 #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/BdRj4uZJuys.
Is couples therapy always a good idea? (Turns out, no!) When might it hurt, and when might it help? And how can you make the best use of couples therapy if you decide you want to do it?
In this episode, Judy and I talk about those topics. The name of the person we mentioned who talked to us about compassionate divorce is Sarene Arias—check out our interview with her at our website, https://ctin7.com.
Information about the video course I mention in the episode is at https://tppcourse.brucechalmer.com.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Judy’s book is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
couplestherapyinsevenwords #ctin7 #stability #intimacy #ThePassionParadox #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/TmH4h0QPNB0.
In this episode, Judy and I talk about Lauren Hall’s concept of Radical Moderation, and why I find the parallels between her ideas and my ideas about couples work so exciting.
Our podcast interview with Lauren is at https://youtu.be/ftqRVeBptqs.
Lauren Halls’ Substack, The Radical Moderate’s Guide to Life, is at https://substack.com/@radicalmoderatesguide.
Information about the video course I mention in the episode is at https://tppcourse.brucechalmer.com.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Judy’s book is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
couplestherapyinsevenwords #ctin7 #stability #intimacy #ThePassionParadox #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander #RadicalModeration #LaurenHall
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/-pQ0RKqexVQ.
What is compassionate divorce? Our guest in this episode, Sarene Arias, works with couples to help them work together to create a healthy family for themselves and their children, even when they’ve decided to end their marriage.
Sarene’s website is https://compassionate-divorce.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Bruce’s self-paced video course, The Passion Paradox: When You Feel Miles Apart and Still Love Each Other, is now available! Check out the free introductory lesson. And use the coupon code “ctin7” for 20% off! Information at https://tppcourse.brucechalmer.com.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
SareneArias #CompassionateDivorce #CouplesTherapyInSevenWords #ctin7 #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/9QHgncrcyCc.
Our guest in this episode, Xanet Pailet, went from a 26-year sexless marriage to become an intimacy coach. We talk about how Xanet helps couples discover deep, passionate intimacy, both sexually and emotionally.
Xanet’s website is https://howtoimprovemylovellife.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Bruce’s self-paced video course, The Passion Paradox: When You Feel Miles Apart and Still Love Each Other, is now available! Check out the free introductory lesson. And use the coupon code “ctin7” for 20% off! Information at https://brucechalmer.com.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Xanet Pailet #CouplesTherapyInSevenWords #ctin7 #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander #intimacy
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/HCPMLeURKJM.
And now for something completely different…
More and more people are developing relationships with chatbots—including client-therapist relationships. You might have heard some of the horror stories about chatbots leading people horribly astray, and also some of the positive stories about people finding chatbots can be helpful, supportive voices who are always available and never judgmental.
At the suggestion of our son Seth Chalmer, we decided to interview a chatbot and see what she (sure sounded like a “she”) says about working with couples as a virtual therapist. You be the judge: would you like to use her as a therapist?
Information about the video course that Bruce mentioned is at https://brucechalmer.com/tpp/ .
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Judy’s book is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
couplestherapyinsevenwords #ctin7 #stability #intimacy #ThePassionParadox #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander #ChatbotTherapist
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/eUR0twlYpd0.
There’s a moment in my first sessions with couples that I’ve come to expect. I’ve explained to them a way of understanding what’s happening in many long-term relationships, and then ask them if that resonates with them. And that’s when it happens: that light-bulb moment.
In this episode, Judy and I talk about that way of understanding relationships that leads to the light-bulb moment. Maybe it’ll have the same effect on you.
More information about the course I mention in the episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/tpp.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Judy’s book is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
couplestherapyinsevenwords #ctin7 #stability #intimacy #ThePassionParadox #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/jPbj3Gm5Seo.
How can couples recover from infidelity? Our guest in this episode, Dr. Monique Thompson, specializes in helping couples do just that. As you’ll notice, I (Bruce) speculated that if I weren’t clearly 20+ years older, Monique and I might have been twins separated at birth—we have very similar outlooks on how to help couples get through the crisis of infidelity.
Dr. Thompson’s website is https://doctormoniquethompson.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Bruce’s self-paced video course, The Passion Paradox: When You Feel Miles Apart and Still Love Each Other, is now available! Check out the free introductory lesson. And use the coupon code “ctin7” for 20% off! Information at https://brucechalmer.com.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
DrMoniqueThompson #CouplesTherapyInSevenWords #ctin7 #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/K-sFebiiql8.
Couples therapy can help—especially if you know how to use it effectively. Bruce’s recent book, The Passion Paradox: When You Feel Miles Apart and Still Love Each Other, is becoming a video course. And what you’ll learn can save you time, money, and heartache as you work through the struggles you’re having in your relationship.
More information about the book and the course is at https://brucechalmer.com.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our affiliate is Osuga. Find them at https://osuga.com/?ref=ctin7
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
couplestherapyinsevenwords #ctin7 #stability #intimacy #ThePassionParadox #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/-Kee1cpdglw.
Why do men have such difficulty talking about emotions, and how does that affect relationships? Our guest in this episode, Mordy Gottlieb, works with men to help them find their way through relationship issues with courage and clarity.
Mordy’s website is https://thegamechangergroup.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Bruce’s latest book, The Passion Paradox: When You Feel Miles Apart and Still Love Each Other, is now available: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0G29NVZ4X
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
MordyGottlieb #CouplesTherapyInSevenWords #ctin7 #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/4Op-8-uVNqU.
Our guest in this episode, Keri Green, is a sex therapist in San Diego. She tells us how she got into that work (Judy and I heard echoes of Otis from the TV series “Sex Education”), and how she works with couples to help them find a satisfying sex life.
Keri’s website is http://kerigreenlmft.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Bruce’s latest book, The Passion Paradox: When You Feel Miles Apart and Still Love Each Other, is now available: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0G29NVZ4X
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
KeriGreen #CouplesTherapyInSevenWords #ctin7 #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/Vtxd-WhmdhQ.
Are you wondering if you should stay together or call it quits on your relationship?
This is a question many of the couples who consult me (Bruce) are struggling with. How can you figure it out? We offer some basic guidelines.
And we talk about Bruce’s latest book, The Passion Paradox: When You Feel Miles Apart and Still Love Each Other. It’s a workbook that helps couples find their passion again, or if not, to decide how to move on.
The Passion Paradox is available at this link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0G29NVZ4X
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our affiliate is Osuga. Find them at https://osuga.com/?ref=ctin7
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com
couplestherapyinsevenwords #ctin7 #stability #intimacy #ThePassionParadox #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/5Zjls4_QWWw.
Our guest in this episode, Juno Thorne, describes his personal—very personal—journey to escape from ideas he found toxic, accept his natural urges rather than suppress them, and revitalize his marriage. His recent book, Sacred Freedom, seeks to show men, especially Christian men influenced by purity culture, how faith and desire can be reconciled.
We did this interview with cameras off, and the picture Juno provided is not of him. We talk about why in the interview.
Juno’s website is https://www.junobthorne.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Bruce’s latest book, The Passion Paradox: When You Feel Miles Apart and Still Love Each Other, is now available: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0G29NVZ4X
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
SacredFreedom #PurityCulture #Juno Thorne #CouplesTherapyInSevenWords #ctin7 #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/6po5SBY5QMQ.
How can you talk to your kids to soothe them and get through to them, rather than shut them down? Our guest in this episode, Dr. David Marcus, has worked with families dealing with high-conflict divorce, and advocated for children with courts and family lawyers. He tells us about his work, including a very moving story about silent sessions with a 15-year-old girl, and the delightful sport of “Mad Ball.”
Dr. Marcus’s website is http://parentrx.org/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/vhzae0ucbjQ.
What’s the difference between dating and courting? Why do so many women pick guys on dating apps who later turn out to be bad husband material? Our guest in this episode, Jeremy Nelson, has created a dating app with a very different approach, one that promotes intentional courtship with a view toward marriage, rather than hook-ups.
Jeremy’s website is https://marryingamerica.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Watch for Bruce’s forthcoming book. The Passion Paradox: When You Feel Miles Apart and Still Love Each Other. It will be available soon!
Our affiliate is Osuga, makers of fine products to enhance intimacy. Find them at https://osuga.com/?ref=ctin7.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/7FQ3i_dWbBk.
Our guests in this episode, Nancy Levine and Rachel Levine Spates, are a mother and daughter who collaborated on a book called Light: A Family Story of Anorexia. Their book is a beautifully written, insightful, and courageous recounting of Rachel’s struggle with anorexia, and how their family was affected.
The book is available anywhere books are sold. Here’s the Amazon link: https://www.amazon.com/Light-Mother-Daughter-Memoir-Anorexia/dp/1578692067/
For help with eating disorders, contact the National Association for Eating Disorders at https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/KD19fzxYYgg.
What happened to the passionate love you had when you first got together? Is it possible for that kind of love to last?
We talk about Bruce’s latest book, The Passion Paradox: When You Feel Miles Apart and Still Love Each Other. It’s a workbook that helps couples find their passion again, or if not, to decide how to move on. The paradox of the title refers to the needs we have for both stability and intimacy; we need them both, but they require different, and often conflicting, skills.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
For the audio-only version of this podcast, visit https://ctin7.com.
couplestherapyinsevenwords #ctin7 #faith #stability #intimacy #ThePassionParadox #DrBruceChalmer #JudyAlexander
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/TjcflWWUghM.
Our guest in this episode, Christian de la Huerta, talks about his own journey toward spiritual transformation, and how he helps people along their own journeys.
His most recent books are Awakening the Soul of Power: How to Live Heroically and Set Yourself Free and Conscious Love: Transforming Our Relationship to Relationships.
Christian’s website is https://soulfulpower.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/cXEgVCnBIq4.
You’ve heard of the Serenity Prayer, especially in the context of 12-Step programs such as AA. But what is the Meta-Serenity Prayer?
In this episode, we talk about it. Why did Bruce invent it? What does it have to do with faith? Along the way, we also talk about what kind of couples therapy might actually help you, as opposed to wasting your time or making things worse.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review.
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/xvDCFU85faA.
Our guest in this episode, Caroline Kobylinski, overcame a history of emotional chaos, substance use, eating disorders, and toxic relationships. She’s applied what she learned through those struggles to helping both individual clients and couples. And she does it with humor and refreshing forthrightness. We had a lot of fun talking with Caroline.
Caroline’s website is http://www.cwkcounseling.com.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/UG6QrQsK-Uo.
Our guest in this episode, Padmini Pandya, has lived and worked all over the world. She shares her experiences, especially in the area of relationships.
Padmini’s website is https://www.youtube.com/@PiecesOfMissMini.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/7rhyEG5S260.
Pornography can be addictive. Our guest in this episode, Chandler Rogers, has founded Relay, an app that helps people with their recovery. We talk about Chandler’s own experience that led him to found the app, how connecting with other people in an atmosphere of supportive acceptance can help heal the shame, and ways couples can rebuild their relationships after a partner discovers behavior they experience as a betrayal.
Chandler’s website is https://www.joinrelay.app/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/VuKfsIb8Fe4.
Is everyone mentally ill? Or is it possible that most of us need support from a caring human being, rather than treatment of a diagnosed illness?
Our guest in this episode, Dr. Alison Greco, is reanimating an idea from last century: paratherapy. She is training people in what she calls Structured Emotional Support, to provide help for people who might need psychotherapy, but want help.
Alison’s website is https://para-thera.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/i3vNYsGMDtc.
Why do couples so often start off passionately in love, and over time end up feeling miles apart? And if you’re in that situation, what can you do about it?
In this episode, we talk about how that happens and how to deal with it.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review.
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/B4933wXvmY8.
Our guest in this episode, Malisa Hapner, told us she maxed out the Adverse Childhood Experiences questionnaire—which means she went through an enormous load of trauma. Judy and I found her journey of overcoming shame and finding compassion for herself and others to be inspiring, and I hope you do too.
Malisa’s website is https://linktr.ee/Mdhepner.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/s5dehbrTc84.
Why are couples surprised when they first experience conflict with each other. And how can they manage it without freaking out? Our guest in this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins, works with couples to help them get past problem patterns and turn toward each other.
Dr. Higgins’s website is https://drjessicahiggins.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/qcNpMScyLWE.
I’ve worked with couples for whom how to load the dishwasher has been the topic that has brought them close to divorce. What’s going on? Our guest in this episode, Talia Bombola, applies insights from psychodynamic therapy to help couples and individuals figure out what’s going on, and save themselves from a lot of misery in the process.
Talia’s websites are https://www.therapywithtalia.com/ and https://taliabombola.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/oSYU5GCa0YM.
Our guest in this episode, Kristan Swan, has been a landscape designer and business coach. We talk about how her work helping entrepreneurs has often overlapped with the kind of relational work that Bruce does with couples.
Kristan’s book Spaghetti on the Wall is designed to help people learn more about themselves and thereby make better decisions. She has also developed an eight-week workshop called “Discovering Your Spiritual Autobiography.”
Kristan’s website is https://kristanswan.com/.
The Stability and Intimacy Assessment form Bruce mentioned is at https://forms.gle/1Pj8MUQDH2cYfbVW7.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/NFNHWEpG2nM.
In my book Betrayal and Forgiveness, I define forgiveness as an “inside job.” Among other things, that means that you can forgive people who have committed acts of pure evil—because forgiving just means you can think about what happened without being consumed by anger or panic. Forgiveness is about healing yourself. To paraphrase Anne Lamott, forgiveness gets the rat poison out of you. Then you can think about how to handle the rat.
Defined in that way, forgiveness has essentially nothing to do with your relationship with whoever hurt you. You can forgive people you still don’t trust. You can forgive people you’ll still divorce, or sue, or prosecute. You can even forgive people you went to war against, and would do so again if necessary.
I commented in the book that this implies that I, a Jew, could forgive the Nazis.
Well, Judy and I put that to the test. We returned recently from a Jewish heritage trip to Germany. It was…well, listen and see what you think!
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review.
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/inmBJ6AlwNU.
Judy and I had the great honor and delight of interviewing the doyenne of Jewish cooking, Joan Nathan. Our interview took place on a cruise along the Main River in Germany, where we were on a tour of Jewish historical sites along the Main and Rhine. Joan was on the tour, and we all had the magnificent experience of a bistro meal with her, using her own recipes.
We’ll be doing another episode about how the experience of touring Jewish-related sites in Germany fits in with my (Bruce’s) writings about forgiveness. It’s complicated!
But for this episode, we’re focusing on Joan Nathan. She talks about how her career got started, her long marriage that ended with her husband’s death about five years ago, and more.
Joan’s website is http://joannathan.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/B7buGaYYF98.
Couples in which one or both have a diagnosis of ADHD can encounter some particular challenges. Our guest in this episode, Lisa Rabinowitz, specialized in working with ADHD or otherwise neurodiverse couples. She tells us about how she helps them find their way to more satisfying relationships.
Lisa’s website is https://counselorforcouples.com/.
The assessment tool that Bruce mentioned is at https://forms.gle/1Pj8MUQDH2cYfbVW7. Please take it for a test run!
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79
Welcome to Short Take #5. In this series Judy and I talk about some of our (well, mostly my) favorite topics in bite-size morsels.
Today’s topic: Betrayal and Forgiveness
This short take is about…well, betrayal and forgiveness. What is betrayal? And does forgiveness mean you’ll restore your relationship?
Please subscribe and review us!
Visit our podcast website, ctin7.com, for more about our podcast, access to past episodes, and links to contact us to make suggestions and sign up for a time to be a guest on our show.
Visit Dr. Chalmer’s website, brucechalmer.com, for information on his practice, to find his books, and to sign up for his Substack newsletter.
Visit Laria Zylber’s website, lariazylber.com, for information on her book The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible. (Laria is Judy’s pseudonym, and as you’ll see in the videos on her website, she looks just like Judy, except she has blue hair!)
To see the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/t_EQM32MZso.
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/OtUSEC7Fk58.
Why are so many Millennials deciding not to have children? How does therapy culture affect how young people view the prospect of becoming parents?
Judy and I talk about a New York Times article by Michal Leibowitz that discusses this. She organized her article according to stanzas in Philip Larkin’s poem “This Be The Verse,” which famously concludes, “Get out as early as you can / And don’t have any kids yourself.”
Along the way, we also talk about tribalism—both good and bad!—and mention Daryl Davis’s TEDx talk, where he describes why he, a black man, has attended KKK rallies.
Michal Leibowitz’s article: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/05/30/opinion/therapy-estrangement-childless-millennials.html
Daryl Davis’s TEXx talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/daryl_davis_why_i_as_a_black_man_attend_kkk_rallies
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review.
Welcome to Short Take #4. In this series Judy and I talk about some of our (well, mostly my) favorite topics in bite-size morsels.
Today’s topic: The “Oh Shit” Moment
This isn’t about the “Oh shit!” you might say when you’ve hit your thumb with a hammer. This is about—well, you’ll need to hear it to appreciate why I call it the “Oh shit” moment. It’s often a turning point in working with a couple.
Please subscribe and review us!
Visit our podcast website, ctin7.com, for more about our podcast, access to past episodes, and links to contact us to make suggestions and sign up for a time to be a guest on our show.
Visit Dr. Chalmer’s website, brucechalmer.com, for information on his practice, to find his books, and to sign up for his Substack newsletter.
Visit Laria Zylber’s website, lariazylber.com, for information on her book The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible. (Laria is Judy’s pseudonym, and as you’ll see in the videos on her website, she looks just like Judy, except she has blue hair!)
To see the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/5GLAcFW8V7k.
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/FBplUljRg6w.
What is Post Betrayal Syndrome? Our guest in this episode is Dr. Debi Silber, who is the founder of the Post Betrayal Transformation Institute.
She describes three discoveries about betrayal from her Ph.D. research, and then talks about five stages along the way from betrayal to transformation.
Dr. Silber’s website is https://thepbtinstitute.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79
Welcome to Short Take #3. In this series Judy and I talk about some of our (well, mostly my) favorite topics in bite-size morsels.
Today’s topic: Stability vs. Intimacy—Can We Have Both?
Why are both stability and intimacy necessary for a relationship to thrive? Why do they require different—even conflicting—skills?
Please subscribe and review us!
Visit our podcast website, ctin7.com, for more about our podcast, access to past episodes, and links to contact us to make suggestions and sign up for a time to be a guest on our show.
Visit Dr. Chalmer’s website, brucechalmer.com, for information on his practice, to find his books, and to sign up for his Substack newsletter.
Visit Laria Zylber’s website, lariazylber.com, for information on her book The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible. (Laria is Judy’s pseudonym, and as you’ll see in the videos on her website, she looks just like Judy, except she has blue hair!)
To see the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/8TNv4NaV5NY.
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/ftqRVeBptqs.
What is Radical Moderation? And how can that idea help heal the hyper-polarization that characterizes not only politics but family relationships these days? Our guest in this episode, Professor Lauren Hall, tells us about her work and how she came to it. As Judy mentions early in the interview, I (Bruce) have called myself a radical moderate for decades. (“What do we want? Moderation! When do we want it? When it’s appropriate!”)
Lauren’s website is https://www.laurenkhall.com/. Her Substack is “The Radical Moderate’s Guide to Life.”
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79
See the video of this episode here.
Our guest in this episode, Dr. Bonnie Comfort, was married for 33 years to a man she deeply loved and who deeply loved her. And they remained married until his death from cancer. A beautiful story with a sad ending—but, as is always true, not the whole story. Bonnie tells us about the struggles she and her husband went through, particularly around issues of sexual compatibility. Those struggles taught her a lot about herself: the pressures she was subject to, the ways she unintentionally cooperated, and the ways she was able to come into her own power and gain self-respect. In her soon-to-be-published memoir, Bonnie offers some of that hard-won wisdom.
Bonnie’s book is Staying Married is the Hardest Part: A Memoir of Passion, Secrets, and Sacrifice. Her website is https://bonniecomfort.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Have you read my latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again? Would you be willing to leave a review? It’s super-easy. Just go to this link, give a rating (5 stars, I hope!), say something about the book, and submit. And thanks!
Welcome to Short Take #2. In this series Judy and I talk about some of our (well, mostly my) favorite topics in bite-size morsels.
Today’s topic: Rethinking ADHD
Is ADHD a disease, or even a disorder? Or is it a description of one end of a spectrum? Why does the distinction matter? I talk about a recent New York Times article in which long-time ADHD researchers describe how they are re-examining their assumptions. Then I tell one of my go-to stories about working with a high school kid who was diagnosed with ADHD and hadn’t been told yet—but his teachers had been told.
Here’s the article: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/04/13/magazine/adhd-medication-treatment-research.html
Why am I ranting about ADHD in a blog about couples therapy? Well, because the way ADHD hardened into a black-and-white diagnosis, as if it were analagous to diabetes, is a great example of psychosclerosis—hardening of the categories (see Short Take #1). And psychosclerosis is often what’s plaguing couples.
Please subscribe and review us!
Visit our podcast website, ctin7.com, for more about our podcast, access to past episodes, and links to contact us to make suggestions and sign up for a time to be a guest on our show.
Visit Dr. Chalmer’s website, brucechalmer.com, for information on his practice, to find his books, and to sign up for his Substack newsletter.
Visit Laria Zylber’s website, lariazylber.com, for information on her book The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible. (Laria is Judy’s pseudonym, and as you’ll see in the videos on her website, she looks just like Judy, except she has blue hair!)
To see the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/78kA6eTMtAs.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/emily-jamea/.
If you’re having trouble with sex in your relationship, you might want to consult a sex therapist, and our guest today, Dr. Emily Jamea, is precisely that. But what if it’s not about problems—what if what you want is to get past “good-enough” sex to levels you’ve only dreamed about? Well, Emily is all about that as well. Her recent book, Anatomy of Desire, describes how “flow,” as popularized by the psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, is a key to unlocking passion and desire in a couple. She talks about five secrets and how to apply them. Judy and I had a great time talking with Emily, and we think you’ll love this episode.
Emily’s website is https://emilyjamea.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/charity-sinclair/.
As our guest in this episode, Charity Sinclair, puts it, “I’ve been on a lot of shit dates. No, really—literally shit dates.” Dates, she means, in which the guy was carrying around a stool sample. Or was carrying around dog shit.
And, she says, she’d take a shit date over a toxic date any time. In our conversation, Charity tells us about calling off her wedding just weeks before, when she discovered that her fiancé had been carrying on multiple relationships for years, lying and gaslighting in all of them. She writes—often hilariously—about what she learned from these and other experiences in her book We’re All Dating the Same Guy.
Charity’s website is https://sameguybook.com/podcast.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/matt-digeronimo/.
We live in polarized times. It’s hard to have conversations across the great divide—as soon as we detect signs that someone we’re talking to is on the other side, we tend to shut down our ability to hear and think about what they’re saying.
Our guest in this episode, Matt DiGeronimo, is a Navy veteran who realized when he took off the uniform that he wanted to be able to tell his grandchildren, when they ask him what he did in that turbulent era of 2025, that he did more to heal the country than simply rant on social media. Matt has developed tools to help people communicate across the divide, starting with one-on-one encounters in our living rooms and kitchen tables. His most recent book is Actualization: Becoming the Person Worthy of Your Dreams.
You can find more about Matt at https://beyondplatitudes.substack.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79
Welcome to Short Takes! In this series Bruce and Judy talk about some of their (well, mostly Bruce’s) favorite topics in bite-size morsels.
Today’s topic:
The Dread Disease, “Hardening of the Categories”
Please subscribe and review us!
Visit our podcast website, ctin7.com, for more about our podcast, access to past episodes, and links to contact us to make suggestions and sign up for a time to be a guest on our show.
Visit Dr. Chalmer’s website, brucechalmer.com, for information on his practice, to find his books, and to sign up for his Substack newsletter.
Visit Laria Zylber’s website, lariazylber.com, for information on her book The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible. (Laria is Judy’s pseudonym, and as you’ll see in the videos on her website, she looks just like Judy, except she has blue hair!)
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/rabbi-shlomo-slatkin/.
Can a couple who have fallen out of love regain their passion for each other? What is Imago Relationship Therapy, and how can it help? Our guest in this episode, Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, is the founder of the Marriage Restoration Project, which offers intensive retreats, group workshops, and online courses.
Rabbi Slatkin’s website is https://www.themarriagerestorationproject.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/found-out-my-father-had-been-cheating/.
What would you do if you found out at your father’s funeral that he had been having affairs? Your father, whom you had loved, honored, and trusted? Recently I’ve talked with several people in similar situations. Judy and I talk about how they might work on healing from that kind of betrayal.
We also talk about a dilemma a woman wrote to the NY Times Ethicist column about: Should she reveal to her adopted cousin that she (the cousin) was the product of an incestuous relationship? The article we refer to in this episode is at https://www.nytimes.com/2025/03/14/magazine/adoption-incest-secret-ethics.html.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/craig-mattson/.
Do you ever find yourself drowning in digital stimulation and demand? How does digital overwhelm in work life relate to life as a couple? Our guest in this episode is Craig Mattson, a professor of communication who has studied the disconnection and intensity many workers feel in their work lives. And as a person of faith, Craig has invoked teachings from biblical texts as relevant to these very modern issues, in ways that we (Bruce and Judy) find fascinating. Let us know what you think!
Craig’s website is https://www.themodeswitch.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/leah-spasova/.
Our guest in this episode, Leah Spasova, is the CEO of LifeSexperts, which offers coaching and training to individuals, couples, and organizations about healthy relationships. We talk with her about her multi-layered approach to helping couples with sex and relationship issues.
Leah’s website is https://www.lifesexperts.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/wilk-wilkinson/.
We’ve had many wonderful guests, and like parents with their children, I don’t want to compare them. But I do think this is one of our most important episodes.
Our guest, Wilk Wilkinson, is a Christian conservative who has taken on the mission of helping this country heal from what he terms toxic polarity. Through his own “Derate the Hate” podcast, as well as his work as a volunteer with Braver Angels and the Prohuman Foundation, Wilk fosters respectful conversation among people across the political spectrum.
Wilk’s website is https://deratethehate.com/
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/rachel-macneill/.
Are you in a sexless marriage? Our guest in this episode, Dr. Rachel MacNeill, is a pelvic floor physical therapist who specializes in helping people with intimacy issues. She also helps people with urinary incontinence (did you know that Kegels are usually not the answer? I didn’t!).
Among the sexual issues we talk about are the myth (often) of low libido in women, dyspareunia and how to treat it, what queer relationships can teach straight couples, and more.
Rachel’s website is https://www.rachelmacneillintimacycoaching.com/. Rachel is offering a one-time 20% discount for an appointment with her (intake or follow-up) to our listeners--use the discount code SEVENWORDS. She also offers a 7-day Pleasure Challenge at this link.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/kristen-williamson/.
What is it like to be “neurospicy”? How does neurodivergence affect relationships? Our guest in this episode is Kristen Williamson, the self-proclaimed “queen of chaos.” Judy and I had a delightful time with Kristen—she exudes a contagious joy, and I hope you’ll catch it too by tuning into this episode.
Kristen’s website is https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristensmith0045/. On Instagram, she’s at https://www.instagram.com/empowermindsolutionsllc/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/becky-whetstone/.
When one partner in a relationship tells the other, “I think I want out,” their relationship will never be the same. They might break up, or they might stay together, but either way they’ll have a new relationship. Our guest in this episode, Dr. Becky Whetstone, works with couples dealing with that relationship crisis. She’s been through it herself, and she’s done research, and based on that experience and learning she helps couples turn their crises into opportunities for growth.
Becky’s recent book is I Think I Want Out: What to Do When One of You Wants to End Your Marriage. Her website is https://marriagecrisismanager.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/daniel-cohen/.
Our guest in this episode is Rabbi Daniel Cohen. Rabbi Cohen has written about how you can “reverse-engineer” your life, so you can live now in ways that will help shape the kind of legacy you want to leave at the end of your life. We talk with Rabbi Cohen about how we can learn to recognize and cultivate “Elijah moments,” and how that skill can benefit couple relationships.
Rabbi Cohen’s website is https://www.rabbidanielcohen.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79
How can EFT and attachment theory help couples develop secure, rewarding, lasting relationships? Our guest in this episode is Julie Menanno, a therapist, author, and Instagram creator with over 1.3 million followers. We talk about how she works with couples, and how Bruce’s seven words (“Be kind, don’t panic, and have faith”) map onto the concepts that guide her work.
Julie’s website is https://www.thesecurerelationship.com/. She can be found on Instagram at @thesecurerelationship.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79
For the audio-only version of this podcast, visit https://ctin7.com.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/andrew-davies/.
Improv is all about spontaneity, fun, listening, and being willing to play. How can improv help you improve your relationships, romantic or otherwise? Our guest in this episode, Andrew Davies, combines his love and training in theater and Judaism, and beings the joy of improv to children and adults of all ages. We had fun talking to Andrew, and we hope you’ll have fun listening to this interview.
Among the many nuggets of wisdom Andrew offers is a brilliant hack for making the concept of “date night” possible even for parents of young children.
Andrew’s websites are https://www.artlyworking.com/ and https://www.thebibleplayers.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/four-things-your-therapist-wants-you-to-know/.
What should you know before you start therapy? Christina Caron wrote an article about that in the New York Times (link below), and Judy and I talk about the four things Caron wrote about, and apply them specifically to couples therapy. As we discuss, therapy is often fluid, especially with couples. Goals can shift, the two members of the couple can differ in their opinions about how the therapy is going, and success isn’t always easy to define. As I’ve written about in one of my books (It’s Not About Communication), couples therapy is often like improv theater.
The article we refer to in this episode is at https://www.nytimes.com/2025/01/24/well/start-therapy-tips.html.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/gregory-diehl/.
Our guest in this episode, Gregory Diehl, describes himself as a Romantic Idealist, which, he explains is a fundamentally hopeless position since perfection is impossible. And he remains an idealist even as his own love life hasn’t yet come to fruition. We talk about his ideas about the complementarity of masculinity and femininity, and about the retreat center he has established in Armenia.
Gregory’s website is https://www.gregorydiehl.net/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/jack-kammer/.
Talking about gender issues can be a minefield. Talking about ways in which not only women, but men too are victims of implicit bias can get you canceled—as evidenced by what happened to our guest’s book when he wrote about that. Our guest, Jack Kammer, has the distinction of being a target of cancel culture before the term was coined. We talk about his experiences thinking, speaking, and writing about bias against men. We also talk about why it’s so difficult to get men to go to couples therapy.
Here’s the link we mention to my (Bruce’s) video called “How Do You Get Your Reluctant Guy to Go to Couples Therapy with You?”: https://youtu.be/SlGtc9NoaA4
Jack’s website is https://www.malefriendlymedia.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/diversity-diagnosis-and-nonsense/.
Okay, I (Bruce) get to rant in this one. Bring on the arguments! How does the good idea of diversity turn into the ideology that makes universities insist that candidates for faculty positions sign loyalty oaths? How does the good idea of understanding the experience of trans people turn into the ideology that says you can’t question whether someone who grew up in a male body should be allowed to swim on the girls’ team? How does the good idea of differential diagnosis turn into the ideology that totalizes and pathologizes people?
More generally, how do ideologies turn otherwise intelligent, caring people into malevolent idiots?
At the end of this episode, I specifically invite people who’d like to argue with me to come on as a guest. Maybe that’s you! Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/sophie-orozco/.
What can you do if your husband tells you he no longer loves you, and is ending your marriage? Do you have to just give up? Our guest in this episode, Sophie Orozco, faced that very situation. And her friends, advisors, and therapists told her to just accept it and move on. But Sophie was determined to find a better outcome. She gave herself a year, and discovered that not only could her marriage be saved, but that it was better than it ever was. She shares what she learned with her coaching clients. Judy and I found her story inspiring, and hope you do too.
Sophie’s website is https://www.sophieorozco.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/therapist-is-a-quack/.
Is your therapist a quack? We’ve talked about how to know if you should leave a relationship—what about a relationship with a therapist? What are the signs that you should dump them? As you’ll hear in this episode, thinking about that led us to talk about when diagnoses, such as ADHD or narcissism or Borderline Personality Disorder, can be damaging, even though they are also often useful. Feel free to argue with me!
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/angelo-santiago/.
How can men be better husbands and partners? Our guest in this episode is Angelo Santiago, a Marriage and Relationship Coach with a specialization in helping men become better husbands. Angelo had me (Bruce) on his podcast, “Better Husband,” and we were delighted to return the favor.
Angelo’s website is https://www.angelosantiago.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/quits-in-40-year-marriage/.
A listener question prompted this episode: “Fred” wrote to us asking how to know when to end a 40-year marriage. Judy and I talk about this dilemma from several angles. How do couples get to that point after so many years of relative stability? What’s the role of intimacy in a couple? Are there ethical issues to consider? Let us know what you think.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/jonathon-aslay/.
Our guest in this episode, Jonathon Aslay, is a relationship coach who works especially with people (most often women, but some men) in mid-life. We talk about the particular issues that arise for people at that stage of life, and how Jonathon helps them navigate them. It’s a lively discussion—we had fun!
Jonathon’s website is https://www.jonathonaslay.com/. His YouTube channel is https://www.youtube.com/@JonathonAslay.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/brian-hite/.
Our guest in this episode, Brian Hite, has quite the blend of experiences to offer: he’s a Hollywood stuntman with over 100 credits, a Ph.D. in Organizational Psychology, and a sports performance coach. In his speeches and trainings, Brian challenges some conventional assumptions about pressure, motivation, and performance. And his energy is contagious—check out this episode and see if your own level of motivation kicks up a notch!
Brian’s website is https://www.brianhiteglobal.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/jenn-kennedy/.
What are some of the issues that come up for older adults in sex therapy? Our guest in this episode, Dr. Jenn Kennedy, tells us how she helps older couples navigate the changes and challenges of maintaining and improving their sexual connection.
Dr. Kennedy’s website is https://pleasureproject.us/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
For the audio-only version of this podcast, visit https://ctin7.com.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/kelly-ghweinem/.
Many therapists who work with couples are uncomfortable talking about sex with their clients—and therefore miss the opportunity to help them deal with those issues. Our guest in this episode, Kelly Ghweinem, tells us about how she helps couples with sexual issues, and how she and her colleague train therapists to equip them with the skills they need to help their clients more effectively with sexual issues.
Kelly’s website is https://www.eroticacademy.net/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/laurel-roberts-meese/.
LGBT couples and straight couples share many of the same issues, but there are also some characteristic differences. And our guest in this episode, Laurel Roberts-Meese, tells us not only about those differences, but about ways straight couples (and their therapists) can learn from LGBT couples.
Laurel’s website is https://www.laureltherapy.net/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/mr-jay/.
Why is recovering from betrayal so difficult? Our guest in this episode, Mr. Jay, talks about what betrayal trauma is, why it’s different from other kinds of trauma, and how he helps couples recover from it.
Mr. Jay’s website is https://mrjayrelationshipcoach.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/no-good-cheating-jerk/.
We’ve been getting a lot of reaction to my book Betrayal and Forgiveness. One of the common ones has been people expressing a combination of doubt and horror at the idea that someone who betrayed you was, in some way, doing the best they could. So we talk about that and related ideas.
Along the way, Judy and I talk about what happened to our son Eli, who was seriously injured in a freak climbing accident. We weren’t planning on talking about it, but it came up in the context of forgiving God when betrayals happen. How can we forgive God for that? What does that have to do with faith? Let us know your thoughts.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/bev-mitelman/.
What is attachment style, and why is knowing your own attachment style important in a relationship? Our guest in this episode is Bev Mitelman, a Certified Attachment Practitioner, who helps her clients understand their attachment styles and helps them in their journey toward a secure attachment style that facilitates better relationships.
Bev’s website is https://securelyloved.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/steven-radowitz/.
Our guest in this episode is Dr. Steven Radowitz, who is the Chief Medical Officer of a program that uses ketamine and other psychedelic therapies to treat a wide variety of issues. Dr. Radowitz tells us how he helps people with psychedelics, and how that work can benefit couples as well as individuals.
You can find out more about Dr. Radowitz’s work at https://nushama.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/robert-j-hunt/.
What is accountability, and why is it important both in work relationships and in couples? Our guest in this episode is Robert J. Hunt, who has co-written a book about why accountability is important and how to embrace it.
Robert’s website is https://nobodycaresbook.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/catherine-auman/.
What is tantra? How can sex be a spiritual experience, more than simply a way to give and receive pleasure? What is transpersonal psychology, and how does it differ from traditional psychology? Our guest in this episode, Catherine Auman, is a psychotherapist with advanced training in both traditional and spiritual psychology, and we discuss those topics and more.
Catherine’s website is https://catherineauman.com.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/anneke-elmhirst/.
Interested in the possibilities of polyamory? What are those possibilities? What can go wrong? Our guest in this episode, Anneke Elmhirst, helps people explore those questions. Polyamorous herself, Anneke talks about how she works with people to help them discover their own path.
We also talk with Anneke about her experiences as a behavioral analyst with neurodivergent kids, and why she ultimately decided to leave that field because she recognized her own moral and ethical standards weren’t consistent with that work.
You can contact Anneke via: https://www.allforlovecoaching.com/
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/cant-be-intimate-and-freaked-out/.
What single ability solves all relationship problems? What does that have to do with intimacy and couple relationships? And how does that relate to politics? In this episode, we (Bruce and Judy) reveal it all—an ability that anyone who’s listening to a podcast—that’s you!—already has.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/joshua-coleman/.
Are you estranged from a family member? About a quarter of Americans are. Maybe you’re cut off from a parent or adult child or sibling. The one universal about estrangement is that it’s painful. And it’s on the rise.
Our guest for this episode is Dr. Joshua Coleman. He’s been through it himself, and has become a world-class expert on the phenomenon of estrangement. We talk with Dr. Coleman about how estrangement happens, why it’s happening more frequently these days, and what you can do about it.
Dr. Coleman’s most recent book is Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties and How to Heal the Conflict, available anywhere you get books. His website is https://www.drjoshuacoleman.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/paula-cope/.
How can a sixteen-year-old manage to survive, and even thrive, after her mother abandoned her leaving no other adults to care for her? And can you forgive a mother who did that? Our guest in this episode, Paula Cope, shares her story with us. Warning—have tissues handy!
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/my-sister-stole-my-boyfriend/.
Betrayal, cutoff, and decades of family drama. How would you handle it if your sister stole your boyfriend and then went on to marry him? Now it’s 30 years later, and you’ve been in therapy, and you see things a lot differently. You want to reconcile with your sister, but she’s having none of it. What do you do?
Judy and I (Bruce) have very different gut feelings about how to handle this. What do you think?
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/susan-morgan-taylor/.
Are you a woman in a couple, and your sexual desire seems to have vanished? Are you a man in a couple with one of those women? What’s going on? What can you do about it?
Our guest in this episode, Susan Morgan Taylor, specialized in helping couples dealing with this sort of desire discrepancy. And she learned how to help others by going through it herself. We talk about how she discovered her own keys to sexual awakening, and how she works with couples to help them find theirs.
Susan’s websites are https://www.PleasureKeys.com and https://www.pathwaytopleasure.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/my-wife-died-and-was-having-an-affair/.
What if you found out your recently deceased wife had been having an affair for years? How can you handle the shock of betrayal? And what should you do about telling the adult kids or not? In this episode we talk about the letter we received from Les, whose wife of 45 years had died suddenly, leaving him to discover the affair she had been having with her high-school boyfriend.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/shelley-lewin/.
Our guest for this episode, Shelley Lewin, was a successful international model when she realized that her life wasn’t working for her, especially when it came to relationships. So she embarked on a journey of personal growth and training which led to her becoming a relationship coach, offering help to individuals, couples, and organizations. And she’s written a book, Uncomplicated Love, to share what she’s learned. We talk about Shelley’s approach to helping people find and foster satisfying, healthy relationships.
Shelley’s website is https://tracoaching.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/owen-marcus/.
It turns out men and women are different. And therapy tends to be women’s territory, even with male therapists, as I (Bruce) can certainly attest: after all, it’s women who want to come to therapy, and men who usually resist. Our guest in this episode, Owen Marcus, has developed programs that provide the kind of environment that lets men feel safe enough to open up—which has great effects on their relationships with others, including the women in their lives.
Owen’s website is https://meld.community/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/phyllis-leavitt/.
How might the insights of psychology help heal our country? How does unhealed trauma lead to the polarization and discord we’re experiencing? Our guest in this episode, Phyllis Leavitt, has applied her knowledge and experience as a psychotherapist for three decades to those issues, and written a book, America in Therapy: A New Approach to Hope and Healing for a Nation in Crisis.
Phyllis’s website is https://phyllisleavitt.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/sharon-costanzo/.
When our guest in this episode, Sharon Costanzo, got married and had children, she encountered a common problem, no less vexing for being so common: she found she was carrying a disproportionate load of household responsibilities even as she worked outside the home full-time. Her experience, often painful, of working through changes with her husband to create a more collaborative relationship gave her insights and skills that she now shares with her coaching clients.
Sharon’s website is https://www.respectedandconnected.com.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/kristal-desantis/.
I (Bruce) have often observed that men these days seem to be at a loss in knowing how to be men. The old default assumptions about how we’re supposed to show up in relationships, especially with women, seem not to work anymore. Our guest for this episode, Kristal DeSantis, is a therapist who specializes in helping men figure out how to navigate relationships. And she’s developed a model, called the STRONG model of Relational Therapy. We talk about her work, and her recent book, STRONG: A Relationship Field Guide for the Modern Man.
Kristal’s website is https://www.strong.love/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/artemisia-de-vine-2/.
We interviewed our guest in this episode, Artemisia de Vine, a few weeks ago in Episode 153 (this one is 162). Artemisia is an expert on sexual fantasies, and we had a fascinating conversation about it.
Recently Artemisia discovered that Rina Trevi, a podcaster and coach, had plagiarized her work, and Artemisia confronted her about it. What followed was inspiring to us, especially since Bruce’s book on betrayal and forgiveness is just about to be released. Artemisia and Rina appeared together on Rina’s podcast, and described how they turned this situation into an opportunity for grace, compassion, accountability, and clarity.
Artemisia’s forthcoming book is The Spirituality of Smut: The Surprising Wisdom of Sexual Fantasies. Her website is https://www.artemisiadevine.com/.
Our previous conversation with Artemisia is at https://brucechalmer.com/artemisia-de-vine/.
You can hear the podcast episode with Artemisia and Rina at: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5TONUvFUCjOgzQx1GJE4gI
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is out on June 4, 2024—so if you’re reading this after that date, it’s available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/the-f-word/.
In this episode we talk about a short film, “The F-Word.” Besides being hilarious, this film touches on themes that often come up in couples work. What if parents differ about what constitutes appropriate conduct for their children? What if one parent thinks the other is doing something harmful to their children?
We also talk about Bruce’s forthcoming book Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/laurie-groh/.
How can couples navigate conflicts and differences? What are some of the challenges couples face at different stages of life? Our guest in this episode, Laurie Groh, applies her training from the Gottman Institute, Terry Real, Esther Perel, Harville Hendrix, and others to help couples heal.
Laurie’s website ishttps://shoresidetherapies.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/eric-fitzmedrud/.
What leads someone to recognize that they are polyamorous? How can getting consent be sexy? How can men learn to “be a better asshole”? These are some of the topics we talk about in this episode with our guest, Dr. Eric FitzMedrud. His recent book is The Better Man: A Guide to Consent, Stronger Relationships, and Hotter Sex.
Eric’s website is https://drericfitz.com.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/can-you-forgive-rape/ .
What are the limits of forgiveness? Can you forgive even the worst sort of violations? I (Bruce) have worked with many people who are struggling with this question. In part, it depends on what you mean by “forgive.” Does forgiveness have to imply that you’ll try to restore your relationship? Or might you forgive someone, but still not trust them? Could you see forgiveness as getting the poison out of you? Ann Lamott famously noted that not forgiving someone is like drinking rat poison and waiting for the rat to die.
Along the way, we also talk about people getting canceled, trigger warnings, microaggressions—basically, a lot of stuff that might generate angry emails. Try to be kind, don’t panic, and have faith (our seven words) as you respond.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness-its-almost-here/.
Bruce’s book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again, is getting closer to its release. In this episode we talk more about various kinds of betrayal Bruce encounters in his work with couples. It’s often infidelity, but there are other sorts of betrayal as well.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
For the audio-only version of this podcast, visit https://ctin7.com.
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.
What is betrayal? Why is it so painful? And how do you recover from the shock, get past the anger, and figure out how to move on? In this episode we talk about the kinds of betrayal Bruce encounters in his work with couples. It’s often infidelity, but there are other sorts of betrayal as well. We touch on secret cross-dressing, porn and masturbation, financial malfeasance, and other examples. And we put in a plug for Bruce’s forthcoming book, to be called Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/marisa-flood/.
How can you turn conflict into connection? Our guest in this episode, Marisa Flood, is a relationship coach who specializes in helping couples learn the skills they need to thrive.
Marisa’s website is https://conflict2connection.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/dene-logan/.
How can we reclaim the healthy masculine and feminine aspects we each have within us? And how does reclaiming those aspects help couples? Our guest in this episode, Dené Logan, uses her understanding of depth psychology, informed by her own experience, to help couples along the path to more fulfilling relationships.
Dené’s website is https://denelogan.com/, and her forthcoming book is Sovereign Love: A Guide to Healing Relationships by Reclaiming the Masculine and Feminine Within.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/artemisia-de-vine/.
Our guest in this episode, Artemisia De Vine, is an expert on sexual fantasies, an expertise she developed through her work as a professional dominatrix. We talk about the meaning of sexual fantasies, and how understanding them can unlock deeper connection and spiritual growth. Her forthcoming book is The Spirituality of Smut: The Surprising Wisdom of Sexual Fantasies.
Artemisia’s website is https://www.artemisiadevine.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/sarah-watson/.
Sarah Watson is a sex therapist and educator. Having grown up with little education about sex herself, Sarah now works with parents to help them have age-appropriate conversations with their kids about sex. Sarah also cohosts a podcast about menstruation with a focus on people who have bleeding disorders or experience extreme menstrual bleeding.
Sarah’s website is https://simplesexeducation.com, and her Instagram handle is @swsxtherapy.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
The video of this episode is at https://youtu.be/OBA56wRhpI4.
Our guest for this episode, Dr. Leanna Wolfe, was an anthropologist at heart before she knew the term. She tells us about her own experiences of sexual exploration, her anthropological work in Mexico, India, Papua New Guinea, and Africa, and her studies of polygamy, polyamory, and sexual violence.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
For the video of this episode, visit https://brucechalmer.com/kathy-slaughter/.
What is polyamory? What can people in monogamous relationships learn from the experience of people practicing polyamory and other forms of ethical non-monogamy? Our guest in this episode, Kathy Slaughter, brings their own experience in a polyamorous family to their work with people considering and practicing polyamory.
Find out more about Kathy’s work, including information on the Ethical Polyamory Apprenticeship program, at the Soaring Heart Center’s website, https://www.soaringheartcenter.com/, and on Instagram at @soaringheartindy.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
For the video of this episode, visit https://brucechalmer.com/eft-allison-jayne-ewing/.
For women who find themselves dating at midlife, often because of divorce, the prospects can seem dim. Our guest in this episode, Allison Jayne Ewing, works with women to help them clear internal blocks to successful dating, and open up to the excitement of falling in love again. Allison uses an approach called “Emotional Freedom Technique” (EFT), which involves self-tapping as a way of facilitating healing.
Allison’s website is https://inspiredlifetapping.com.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
For the video of this episode, visit https://brucechalmer.com/can-you-forgive-the-unforgivable/.
What does it mean to forgive when you've been betrayed? And how do you get there? Dr. Chalmer talks about three steps to forgiveness: forgive yourself, forgive whoever hurt you, and forgive God. (Huh?) Don't worry, he explains that last one.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
For the video of this episode, visit https://brucechalmer.com/nick-solaczek/.
What is Imago Relationship Therapy, and how can it help couples? Our guest in this episode is Nick Solaczek, who is certified as an Imago Relationship Coach, and has developed tools to help couples improve their relationships.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
For the video of this episode, visit https://brucechalmer.com/ken-schafer/.
We’ve done lots of episodes about sex, but we haven’t talked specifically about erectile dysfunction before. Our guest in this episode, Ken Schafer, has dealt with ED himself, and along the way has become an expert on the subject who helps other men avoid some of the pitfalls he encountered.
Ken’s website is https://www.healthysexualitywithken.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
For the video of this episode, visit https://brucechalmer.com/satya-lila/.
What is sacred sex, and how can couples explore its possibilities? Our guest in this episode, Satya Lila, teaches about sacred sexuality, its benefits for individuals and couples, and techniques that help it happen.
Satya’s website is https://satyalila.info/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/tantra-katrina-bos/.
When people hear “tantra,” at least in Western cultures, they usually think about techniques for mind-blowing sex. Our guest in this episode, Katrina Bos, does teach about tantric approaches to sex, but she recognizes that tantra is a spiritual path for living life in all its aspects, not just the sexual. Katrina points out that our seven words, “Be kind, don’t panic, and have faith,” map very well onto the ideas of tantra. And besides that, she explains her book title, You Don’t Have to Eat the Eyeballs!
Katrina’s website is https://www.katrinabos.ca/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/mb-caschetta/.
Our guest for this episode, MB Caschetta, was shocked to find out that she had been disinherited by her father. We talk about how that betrayal affected her, and her journey toward healing, forgiveness, and spiritual growth.
MB’s website is https://www.mbcaschetta.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/shanenn-bryant/.
Our guest today, Shanenn Bryant, describes herself as “a former insecure girl turned relationship confidence expert.” Through her own experiences of healing from toxic jealousy, Shanenn has developed resources to help her clients make the changes they need to gain confidence and improve their relationships.
Shanenn’s website is https://www.topself.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/judy-comes-out/.
In this brief episode, we re-introduce the podcast, and offer you a chance to win a free gift. And (ta-da!) Judy reveals a secret we’ve been keeping for months! (No, she’s not pregnant.)
Want to comment? Argue? Complain? Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/danny-j/.
Betrayal can happen in a lot of ways, and our guest in this episode, Danny-J Johnson, tells us about her own experiences and what she has learned from them. Danny found out as a teenager that her biological father was a sperm donor, and then as an adult discovered through DNA testing that she has dozens of biological half-siblings. She also went through discovering that her then-husband was having an affair. She talks about how those experiences—finding out her parents had lied to her about who her biological father was, and later finding out that her husband was cheating—have affected her, in terms of both pain and gain.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/lisa-gray/.
How can conflict be healthy for a couple? Our guest, Lisa Gray, tells us about how she helps couples learn the skills of healthy conflict. Lisa’s book is Healthy Conflict, Happy Couple: How to Let Go of Blame and Grow Stronger Together.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/larry-bilotta/.
How can one person change a marriage? Our guest, Larry Bilotta, used his own experience of transforming a “marriage hell” into a thriving partnership to develop ideas to help people heal their relationships by healing themselves.
Larry’s website is https://larrybilotta.com.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/emily-hart/.
Our guest, Emily Hart, tells us what she learned from a series of relationships that went badly, how she turned her life around with the help of some powerful therapeutic modalities, and how she has gone on to help others. She tells us how she uses Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) and hypnotherapy in her work as a coach and trainer. And there’s a happy-ending story!
Emily’s website is https://www.emilyhartcoaching.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/sex-therapy-and-the-gottman-method-an-interview-with-dr-heidi-sauder/.
Our guest in this episode is Dr. Heidi Sauder, a psychologist and sex therapist who works with couples. Dr. Sauder is trained and certified in the Gottman Method, an approach to couples therapy pioneered by Drs. John and Julie Gottman. Dr. Sauder tells us how her training and experience in sex therapy and her knowledge of the Gottman method influence how she helps couples.
Dr. Sauder’s book is Adventures in Sex: Journaling to Create Desire, Passion, Romance…And A Fun Sex Life.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
You can view the video of this episode at https://brucechalmer.com/moral-clarity/.
If you consider yourself to be someone who is concerned about social justice, and justify the actions of Hamas based on that concern, we have a message for you. We don’t expect to convince you. But we hope to invite you to examine your own moral compass.
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/cross-dresses-lost-his-job-and-complains-about-my-cleaning/.
What a smorgasbord of problems! What they have in common is that the woman doing the search for help with these issues doesn't feel able to talk about it with her husband. We talk about some listener comments on earlier podcasts about cross-dressing, and take a detour into rants (from Bruce) about the effects of ideology and the evils of McCarthyism as manifested in cancel culture, and the need to tolerate the anxiety of complexity.
More information on the upcoming presentations of “Jewish Perspectives on Sex: Sacred Sex and Sexual Midrash” is at https://brucechalmer.com/jewish-perspectives-on-sex-sacred-sex-and-sexual-midrash/.
Want to comment? Argue? Complain? Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/embracing-and-healing-shame-an-interview-with-sheila-rubin-and-bret-lyon/.
We’ve all experienced shame. It’s painful! But, as our guests in this episode point out, shame is not only necessary, but it can also be helpful. How can we transform shame from a destructive force to an ally? Check out our interview and find out.
Sheila and Bret’s website is https://healingshame.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
What is teshuvah? And what does it have to do with couples therapy? We recorded this podcast between the Jewish High Holidays of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, and talk about how the themes of return, repentance, and reflection, all aspects of the concept of teshuvah, are intimately related to the work of healing couples. We both get verklempt as we talk about it!
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/teshuvah-and-couples-therapy/.
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/helping-couples-deal-with-infertility-an-interview-with-rena-gower/.
Infertility is a very common issue for couples, and dealing with the stresses, the losses, and the array of difficult choices often results in conflict for couples. Our guest in this episode, Rena Gower, is a clinical social worker who helps individuals and couples cope with a wide variety of issues related to the experience of infertility. She brings her own experiences with infertility to the work.
Rena’s website is https://renagower.com. Her book, “Infertility 101: A Quick and Concise Guide” is available on Amazon.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/healing-from-infidelity-through-kundalini-yoga-an-interview-with-eva-g-kane/.
Can a couple heal from infidelity? Can you forgive your partner’s cheating, move past the pain, and rebuild your relationship? Our guest in this episode, Eva G. Kane, has been through that experience. Along the way, she became an instructor of Kundalini Yoga, which she credits with saving her marriage. And she wrote a memoir of her experience, called It’s Not Too Late, Baby: A Kundalini Love Story.
Eva’s website is https://itsnottoolatebaby.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
The video of this episode is at https://youtu.be/OgPf_CjFYzo.
What are the challenges of being in a marriage, and parenting, when you’re neurodiverse yourself and have neurodiverse children? What can everyone, neurodiverse or not, learn from those experiences? Our guest in this episode, Dr. Christopher Scott Wyatt, is an autistic self-advocate who also advocates for his neurodiverse daughters. We discuss relationships, parenting, education, and more.
Dr. Wyatt’s blog is “The Autistic Me,” and he hosts the “Perspectives on Neurodiversity” podcast.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
The video of this episode is at this link.
Rev. Cheryl Kincaid is a Presbyterian minister, former foster parent, and survivor of childhood abuse. She has facilitated groups for women who have experienced violence, and has written several novels about children in foster care who have been abused, portraying her characters in all their nuanced complexity. We talk to Rev. Kincaid about her faith, life, and work.
You can find more information about Rev. Kincaid and her work at https://revcherylkincaid.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/when-do-annoyances-become-deal-breakers/.
A few episodes back we talked about the magic key that solves all relationship problems (not too grandiose, right?), which involves the ability to tolerate annoyance from others without getting into full-blown panic. This idea (also discussed in Dr. Chalmer’s Newsletter) prompted a listener to ask us about how to tell when annoyances have risen to the level of destructive. We talk about the nuances of that question, and how our listener and others in her situation might handle that dilemma.
At around minute 52, we give a shout-out to Bat Sheva Marcus, a sex therapist we’ve had on the show twice in the past. Hi, Bat Sheva!
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
The video of this episode is at https://youtu.be/5Ve2itHMQLo.
How can we age well? As the proportion of the population above 65 continues to grow, this question is occupying more and more of our minds. Our guests in this episode, Caryl and Jay Casbon, undertook an in-depth study involving extended stays with 13 different couples, interviewing them about their lives and relationships as they age. The result of this five-year effort is their book Side by Side: The Sacred Art of Couples Aging with Wisdom & Love.
More information about the book, and about Caryl and Jay, is at https://sidebysideaging.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
The video of this episode is at https://youtu.be/sjNra-VO9Tc.
What is ethical nonmonogamy? What’s the difference between couples therapy and sex therapy? And how does the idea that we’re each actually a bunch of people help couples? We interview couples and sex therapist Jodie Shea about her work.
Jodie’s website is https://pillowtalktherapy.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.
The video of this episode is at https://youtu.be/PJtoO-jJ6Wc.
A magic key that solves all relationship problems? In a single phrase, yet? Well, okay, it does take a little bit of explaining. But it’s not just hype! As Bruce explains in this episode, this magic key is not only for couples. All sorts of relationships—even politics—can benefit.
What is this astonishing phrase? Tune in and find out!
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
When you sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter, you’ll get a link for a free download of Dr. Chalmer’s booklet Seven Words to Jump-Start Your Love Life. You can also get the book on Amazon as an eBook, paperback, or audiobook.
Find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s books at https://ctin7.com/books.
The video of this episode is at https://youtu.be/FX_Mh3GQ1SM.
When Bruce came up with the Seven Words (Be Kind, Don't Panic, and Have Faith) he was thinking about couples and couples therapy. When executive and team coach Leanne Abraham encountered Bruce's books, she realized how helpful the Seven Words can be for organizations looking to improve their teamwork, atmosphere, and effectiveness. Leanne describes how she applies the Seven Words in her work with executives and teams, helping them find common purpose and fulfilling work.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
When you sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter, you’ll get a link for a free download of Dr. Chalmer’s booklet Seven Words to Jump-Start Your Love Life. You can also get the book on Amazon as an eBook, paperback, or audiobook.
Find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s books at https://ctin7.com/books.
Our sponsor's website is https://lariazylber.com.
For the video version of this podcast, visit https://youtu.be/MZwyn82T7Kg.
What is “erotic orientation,” and how is it different from sexual orientation? How can therapists help mixed-orientation couples? We talk about these and other fascinating sex-related topics with Dr. Joe Kort, a psychotherapist, presenter, and enormously popular TikTokker.
You can find out more about Dr. Joe Kort’s work at https://joekort.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
When you sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter, you’ll get a link for a free download of Dr. Chalmer’s booklet Seven Words to Jump-Start Your Love Life. You can also get the book on Amazon as an eBook, paperback, or audiobook.
Find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s books at https://ctin7.com/books.
You can see the video of this episode at https://youtu.be/8gn9CFL1b1M.
Military families have to deal with a host of challenges, often simultaneously: frequent relocations, deployments, PTSD, culture clashes, and more. Our guest, Elizabeth Polinsky, grew up in a military family and married into one as well. She uses her expertise to help military families navigate those challenges.
You can find out more about Elizabeth Polinsky’s work at https://www.communicateandconnectpodcast.com/.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
When you sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter, you’ll get a link for a free download of Dr. Chalmer’s booklet Seven Words to Jump-Start Your Love Life. You can also get the book on Amazon as an eBook, paperback, or audiobook.
Find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s books at https://ctin7.com/books.
You can see the video of this episode at https://youtu.be/DNXe-lRtaJw.
Our guests today are co-founders of The Safety Team, an organization in Vermont with the mission, “Together we prevent violence, foster resilience, heal trauma, and build safe communities.” We talk about their work teaching empowerment self-defense to women. Both of our guests, Christine DiBlasio and Christina Allard, have achieved black belts in martial arts, and they have combined that expertise with their professional knowledge (as a psychologist and physical therapist, respectively) to create innovative programs to help women heal from past trauma and foster safer communities. Christine was recently recognized as Vermont’s Woman of the Year by USA Today in recognition of her work.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
When you sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter, you’ll get a link for a free download of Dr. Chalmer’s booklet Seven Words to Jump-Start Your Love Life. You can also get the book on Amazon as an eBook, paperback, or audiobook.
Find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s books at https://ctin7.com/books.
You can find the video of this episode at https://youtu.be/ELaNU3-0Nvs.
Our sponsor is Laria Zylber, author of The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible. Information at https://lariazylber.com.
Is it normal to have second thoughts about your relationship? Well, it’s certainly common. How can you decide what to do about it? Is it wrong to “settle” if you could possibly do better with someone else? Are your second thoughts deal-breakers or growing pains? We talk about these issues, and help a listener who asked us about her own second thoughts.
You can find the video “How to Get Your Reluctant Guy to Try Couples Therapy” at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ho5bq7gdKFU.
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message.
And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
When you sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter, you’ll get a link for a free download of Dr. Chalmer’s booklet Seven Words to Jump-Start Your Love Life. You can also get the book on Amazon as an eBook, paperback, or audiobook.
Dr. Chalmer’s newest book is My Husband Complains About My Cleaning! What Do I Do?
Find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s books at https://ctin7.com/books.
You can find the video of this episode at https://youtu.be/6URnyujz2oE.
Our sponsor is Laria Zylberg, author of The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible. Information at https://lariazylberg.com.
According to the WHO, around 17.5% of the adult population experience infertility. Our guests in this episode, Leslie Schreiber and Angela Paoli, work with couples who have decided to become parents using collaborative reproduction—in other words, with the help of others such as gestational carriers and gamete donors. Leslie is an attorney who helps people work through the legal issues, and Angela is a social worker who helps people with the emotional and mental health issues. We talk about what people need to consider and what resources exist to help them.
More information about Leslie and Angela is at https://leslieschreiber.com/ and https://stonehouseassociates.com/mental-health-providers-burlington-vt/counselor-angela-paoli/.
Here are links to other resources Leslie and Angela mentioned:
https://www.asrm.org/
https://resolve.org/
https://vtsurrogacy.com/
https://www.nrmvt.com/
Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message.
And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
When you sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter you’ll get a link for a free download of Dr. Chalmer’s booklet Seven Words to Jump-Start Your Love Life. You can also get the book on Amazon as an eBook, paperback, or audiobook.
You can find the video of this episode at https://youtu.be/aOi3PA1fs8s.
Our sponsor is Laria Zylberg, author of The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible. Information at https://lariazylberg.com.
In this episode, we talk about ways to spice up your love life. There’s erotica (see our sponsor!), toys, porn, and all sorts of things people add to their sexual repertoire. But what’s spicy for some people is taboo for others. How can you decide? Should you risk bringing up your fantasies with your partner, not knowing if they’ll be delighted, intrigued, revolted, or something else?
Let us know what you think! Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message.
And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
When you sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter you’ll get a link for a free download of Dr. Chalmer’s booklet Seven Words to Jump-Start Your Love Life. You can also get the book on Amazon as an eBook, paperback, or audiobook.
Dr. Chalmer’s newest book is My Husband Complains About My Cleaning! What Do I Do?
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.
You can find the video of this episode at https://youtu.be/hqQNIH0EbLQ.
We all encounter difficult people—and are sometimes difficult ourselves! But sometimes we’re in situations where we have to find a way to work with people who are more than difficult—people who qualify for diagnoses of narcissism or other toxic personality disorders. What if you have to co-parent with someone like that? Our guest, Teresa Lodato, tells us about her own experiences in that situation, and how she helps her clients deal with that and other life stresses.
Teresa’s post about co-parenting with narcissists is at https://butnowiknowyourname.wordpress.com/2022/09/29/co-parenting-with-a-toxic-personality-type/. Her website is https://teresalodato.com.
Want to suggest a topic or someone for us to interview? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message.
And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
When you sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter you’ll get a link for a free download of Dr. Chalmer’s booklet Seven Words to Jump-Start Your Love Life. You can also get the book on Amazon for $2.99. But why do that when you can get it for free?
Dr. Chalmer’s newest book is My Husband Complains About My Cleaning! What Do I Do?
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.
To see the video of this episode, visit https://youtu.be/wqdfl-Rt4Pw.
Having doubts about your relationship? Or have you found out you’re pregnant, and having doubts about what to do about that? We received a question from a woman who was struggling with both of those doubts. How can you handle that? Your friends keep telling you to dump him, but your heart says you love him. Is there a path to healing?
Want to suggest a topic or someone for us to interview? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
When you sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter, you’ll get a link for a free download of Dr. Chalmer’s booklet Seven Words to Jump-Start Your Love Life. You can also get the book on Amazon for $2.99. But why do that when you can get it for free?
Dr. Chalmer’s newest book is My Husband Complains About My Cleaning! What Do I Do?
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.
To see the video of this episode, visit https://youtu.be/_Bh4GDawrcw.
There are lots of books out there about how to survive when you’ve been cheated on. But our guest in this episode, Dr. Deborah Miller, has written one for the cheater, called More Than Sorry: 5 Steps to Deepen Your Apology After You Have Committed Infidelity. We talk about how someone who has cheated can do the inner work they need to be able to offer a genuine apology, forgive themselves, and be available to help their relationship heal, whether or not they stay together.
Dr. Miller’s website is https://drdebmiller.com.
Want to suggest a topic or someone for us to interview? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message.
And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
When you sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter (you can do it right from our podcast website, https://ctin7.com), you’ll get a link for a free download of Dr. Chalmer’s booklet Seven Words to Jump-Start Your Love Life. You can also get the book on Amazon for $2.99. But why do that when you can get it for free?
Dr. Chalmer’s newest book is My Husband Complains About My Cleaning! What Do I Do?
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.
To see the video of this episode, visit https://youtu.be/d36N0HnPuMo.
Wait, what? Genocide, optimism, and belly dancing in the same conversation? Our guests, Emily Bashah and Paul Johnson, cover those topics and more. Emily is a psychologist who has worked on high-profile cases covering terrorism. Her parents survived Saddam Hussein’s campaign of genocidal violence against Jews in Iraq in the 1960s and 70s. Paul’s background is as a politician (he was mayor of Phoenix when he was 30 years old) and entrepreneur. Their recent book is called Addictive Ideologies: Finding Meaning and Agency When Politics Fail You.
And what about belly dancing? Listen to the end of the interview, where Emily explains how she became an accomplished belly dancer as an expression of her cultural heritage. And at around the 60-minute mark you’ll hear Emily and Paul’s amazing story of how their relationship transformed from colleagues to romance and marriage.
You can find the “Optimistic American” podcast that Paul and Emily host at https://www.optamerican.com/.
Want to suggest a topic or someone for us to interview? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message.
And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
When you sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter (you can do it right from our podcast website, https://ctin7.com), you’ll get a link for a free download of Dr. Chalmer’s booklet Seven Words to Jump-Start Your Love Life. You can also get the book on Amazon for $2.99. But why do that when you can get it for free?
Dr. Chalmer’s newest book is My Husband Complains About My Cleaning! What Do I Do?
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.
The term “gaslighting” is from a 1940s movie in which the Charles Boyer character tries to convince the Ingrid Bergman character that she’s losing her mind. And the term shows up frequently in the context of couples therapy. A listener question from a woman who is frustrated by her husband’s responses to her requests for change led us to this topic. Along the way we talk about what makes for an effective apology, and the worst and best ways to talk to someone you’ve inadvertently hurt.
To watch the video of this episode, visit https://brucechalmer.com/youre-gaslighting-me/.
Want to suggest a topic or someone for us to interview? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message.
And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
When you sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter (you can do it right from our podcast website, https://ctin7.com), you’ll get a link for a free download of Dr. Chalmer’s booklet Seven Words to Jump-Start Your Love Life. You can also get the book on Amazon for $2.99. But why do that when you can get it for free?
Dr. Chalmer’s newest book is My Husband Complains About My Cleaning! What Do I Do?
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.
Hannah Spanke tells us about her journey of healing, a journey that took her through sex work, addiction issues, and relationship struggles on the way to years of personal growth and professional training. She’s the host of the “F*** Yourself Happy” podcast—a title with multiple meanings she explains to us in the interview.
To watch the video of this episode, visit https://brucechalmer.com/from-sex-worker-to-relationship-coach-an-interview-with-hannah-spanke/.
You can find more about Hannah on Instagram @HannahSpanke. Her website is https://www.hannahspanke.com.
Want to suggest a topic or someone for us to interview? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message.
And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
When you sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter (you can do it right from our podcast website, https://ctin7.com), you’ll get a link for a free download of Dr. Chalmer’s booklet Seven Words to Jump-Start Your Love Life. You can also get the book on Amazon for $2.99. But why do that when you can get it for free?
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.
Author Billie Best nursed her husband through to his death from cancer, and then discovered that he had been having an affair for years. She writes about her experience in her book How I Made A Huge Mess of My Life: Couples Therapy with a Dead Man. We talk about her fascinating life, and the lessons she’s learned along the way.
Billie’s website is https://billiebest.com.
Want to suggest a topic or someone for us to interview? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message..
And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
When you sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter (you can do it right from our podcast website, https://ctin7.com), you’ll get a link for a free download of Dr. Chalmer’s booklet Seven Words to Jump-Start Your Love Life. You can also get the book on Amazon for $2.99. But why do that when you can get it for free?
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.
What is the “erotic equation”? We talk about the idea, first articulated by Jack Morin in his book The Erotic Mind, that eroticism needs obstacles to be hot. Then we revisit the topic of one of our most popular episodes, “My Wife Found Out I Cross-Dress. Help!” One of our listeners commented on the episode from the wife’s point of view, and we talk about her situation.
What do you think? Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button.
And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
When you sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter (you can do it right from our podcast website, https://ctin7.com), you’ll get a link for a free download of Dr. Chalmer’s booklet Seven Words to Jump-Start Your Love Life. You can also get the book on Amazon for $2.99. But why do that when you can get it for free?
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.
Hundreds of people per month, we see, end up at a particular blog post on Dr. Chalmer’s website from a Google search for something like “My husband complains about my cleaning.” What’s happening? We revisit the letter that started it all and offer guidance on how to handle the issue. Hint: It’s probably not about cleaning.
What do you think? Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
If you sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter (you can do it right from our podcast website, https://ctin7.com), you’ll get a link for a free download of Dr. Chalmer’s booklet Seven Words to Jump-Start Your Love Life. You can also get the book on Amazon for $2.99. But why do that when you can get it for free?
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, athttps://ctin7.com/books.
How can our seven-word formula—“Be kind, don’t panic, and have faith”—help your love life? We talk about how those words can guide you as you do the work—sometimes scary work—of healing your passionate connection with your partner.
Bruce’s hilarious rap on the seven words is at https://www.youtube.com/?v=0cF0bO7mGac.
What do you think? Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.
What do you do when your partner asks you, “Do these pants make me look fat?” As we discuss, it’s classically asked by a woman of her male partner, and it strikes terror into the hearts of the guy. But we realized—actually, Judy realized—after we did the recording that there’s a great equivalent question that a man might ask his female partner. And we inserted our discussion of that in the episode—cracking up as we did so. (You’ll hear the insertion staring at 21:45.)
What do you think? Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.
How can a couple create and sustain joy across cultural differences and histories of childhood trauma? Our guests Nina Kako and Roger Guertin tell us how they did it and continue to do it. We found their energy delightfully contagious, and hope you do too!
Roger and Nina’s podcast is the “Head Over Heels Show” (https://headoverheelsshow.com/).
As we say in the episode, sign up for Dr. Chalmer's Newsletter! You can do it right from our homepage. And send us your questions and comments! Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button.
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.
Dating can be hard—especially if you’ve had repeated experiences of finding the wrong person for the kind of relationship you want. Our guest in this episode, Charlene Byars, specializes in helping women who are looking for the right man—someone she describes as a “devoted, masculine man.” We ask her what she means by that, and how she goes about helping the women she works with as a coach.
Charlene’s website is https://www.charlenebyars.com/.
As we say in the episode, sign up for Dr. Chalmer's Newsletter! You can do it right from our homepage, https://ctin7.com. And send us your questions and comments! Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button.
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.
How can a practice of mindfulness help couples when they’re dealing with sexual difficulties? And what’s the “vulnerability cycle”? We interview couples therapist Wendi Dumbroff about those topics and more.
Wendi’s website is https://wendidumbrofftherapy.com.
As we say in the episode, sign up for Dr. Chalmer's Newsletter! You can do it right from our homepage, https://ctin7.com. And send us your questions and comments! Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button.
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.
Julia Postema and Jeremiah Gibson each grew up in the world of fundamentalist evangelical Christianity, and they each independently became sex therapists and left the fundamentalist culture. They specialize in helping couples with negative religious backgrounds discover sexuality that works for their partnership. We talk about their work, and pose a listener question right out of Bruce's latest book: how can the listener reconcile his lifelong attraction to men with his personal, marriage, and family ties to his evangelical church?
Their website is https://www.sexvangelicals.com.
As we say in the episode, sign up for Dr. Chalmer's Newsletter! You can do it right from our homepage, https://ctin7.com. When you sign up, you'll get access to the first volume of our Video Vignette series, in which you'll see Bruce and Judy enacting scenes featuring one of the couples from Bruce's book Reigniting the Spark.
Send us your questions and comments! Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button.
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at https://ctin7.com.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
How do couples have sex when one or both are disabled in some way, be it physically, mentally, or emotionally? How do couples who come from different cultural backgrounds manage to talk about their sex lives? What about differences in sexual desire? Our guest in this episode is Emerald Aueyong, a sex therapist in West Los Angeles who specializes in these issues.
As we say in the episode, sign up for Dr. Chalmer's Newsletter! You can do it right from our homepage, https://ctin7.com. When you sign up, you'll get access to the first volume of our Video Vignette series, in which you'll see Bruce and Judy enacting scenes featuring one of the couples from Bruce's book Reigniting the Spark.
Send us your questions and comments! Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button.
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at https://ctin7.com.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
For our 100th episode (yay!), we have an interview with Nicole Quallen, a collaborative divorce attorney in North Carolina. Nicole helps couples navigate their way through the rocky shoals of divorce with a collaborative, rather than adversarial approach. We talk about how that works (and when maybe it doesn’t), and how collaborative divorce can foster healing and cooperation.
Nicole’s website, which also includes information about her soon-to-be-launched podcast, is https://twofamilieslaw.com.
As we say in the episode, sign up for Dr. Chalmer's Newsletter! You can do it right from our homepage, https://ctin7.com. When you sign up, you'll get access to the first volume of our Video Vignette series, in which you'll see Bruce and Judy enacting scenes featuring one of the couples from Bruce's book Reigniting the Spark.
Send us your questions and comments! Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button.
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at https://ctin7.com.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
We’re coming up on three years of doing this podcast! We take a January look backwards and forwards. While we’re at it, we review the seven-word formula that gives the podcast its name.
As we say in the episode, sign up for Dr. Chalmer's Newsletter! You can do it right from our homepage, https://ctin7.com. When you sign up, you'll get access to the first volume of our Video Vignette series, in which you'll see Bruce and Judy enacting scenes featuring one of the couples from Bruce's book Reigniting the Spark.
Send us your questions and comments! Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button.
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at https://ctin7.com.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
What are some of the warning signs that you should be alert to in a relationship? And what can you do about them if you see them? We talk about some of the red flags that you should watch out for.
As we say in the episode, there's a Call To Action today: Sign up for Dr. Chalmer's Newsletter! You can do it right from our homepage, https://ctin7.com. When you sign up, you'll get access to the first volume of our Video Vignette series, in which you'll see Bruce and Judy enacting scenes featuring one of the couples from Bruce's book Reigniting the Spark.
Send us your questions and comments! Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button. While you're there, sign up for Dr. Chalmer's mailing list!
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at https://ctin7.com.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Addiction and substance issues come up in couples therapy a lot, even for those of us who aren’t substance abuse counselors. In this episode we talk about how substance issues can affect couples, and handle a question from a woman, herself in recovery, who is worried her husband has relapsed and is angrily denying it.
Send us your questions and comments! Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button. While you're there, sign up for Dr. Chalmer's mailing list!
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at https://ctin7.com.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
For a lot of people, Christmas is not “the most wonderful time of the year.” If you’ve lost a loved one, or are estranged from some of your family, Christmas can present a painful dilemma: Should you put yourself through family gatherings when they’re likely to be painful? How do you decide?
Then we handle a listener question from Lexi, who lost her brother to a drug overdose and is trying to decide whether to go to her in-laws for a family gathering, even though she had heard them make disparaging comments about her brother at his wake.
We'd like to hear from you about your experiences that might be similar to Lexi's. Have you lost someone just before Christmas? Or have you been hurt by a family member to the extent that you're not sure if you can be at a gathering with them unless you work it out first? Let us know. Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button, and tell us your story. We might want to interview you for a future episode.
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at https://ctin7.com.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Can foods enhance your sex life? What are aphrodisiacs, and how can they enhance not only a romantic meal, but sexual health generally for both men and women? We talk to food aphrodisiac expert Amy Reiley in a very sexy conversation. Amy’s books are Fork Me, Spoon Me, Romancing the Stove, and Eat Cake Naked.
Amy’s website is https://eatsomethingsexy.com.
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books. And it's the holiday shopping season! Our merch makes great gifts--find it at https://ctin7.com/shop.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at https://ctin7.com.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Are you a woman trying to get your man to try couples therapy with you? You’ve tried asking, pleading, cajoling, threatening, nagging, buttering him up, using all your favorite communications techniques–and none of it has worked. He keeps telling you why he won’t go. But wait–what if there’s another reason?
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at https://ctin7.com.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
It’s here! Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication: Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, is now available. In this episode we talk about the book, and why you need to read it. If you’re in a couple and would like to improve your relationship, you should read this book. If you’re considering couples therapy, or are currently in couples therapy, this book will help you get the most out of it. And if you’re a couples therapist yourself, you should read this book—whether you agree or not, you’ll find it thought-provoking!
You can find out more at https://ctin7.com/books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at https://ctin7.com.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Why don’t therapists ask older clients about their sex lives? Do older people even have sex? (Yes!) How do you handle consent when a person has dementia? In this episode we talk about all this and more with Dr. Regina Koepp, a founder of the Center for Mental Health and Aging, an online training resource. And it turns out she’s a neighbor of ours!
The website Dr. Keopp mentioned is https://www.mentalhealthandaging.com.
New! You can get a signed copy of Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back at the Shop on our website, https://ctin7.com. And watch for Dr. Chalmer’s forthcoming book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at https://ctin7.com.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
When a heterosexual couple looks for couples therapy, it’s usually the woman driving the process. Dr. Ray and Jean Kadkhodaian have developed a model of working with couples, called Couples Synergy, that they designed to bridge the gender gap. In this episode we talk to them about their work, and handle a listener question from a woman who wants to get her husband off the couch and out of the garage to do things with her.
Dr. Ray and Jean Kadkhodaian’s website is https://couplessynergy.com.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available wherever you get your books, or go to Dr. Chalmer’s website. https://brucechalmer.com. And watch for Dr. Chalmer’s forthcoming book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at https://ctin7.com.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
How can a mobile app help your relationship? Why is it so difficult for men to access their feelings, and describe them to their partners? How does the human capacity for adaptation sometimes work against growth in relationships? In this episode, we interview Mike Bosworth, who works with his partner Jennifer Lehr, MFT on an app called WeConcile.
We also handle a listener question from a woman who wants to know how to get her husband to work with her on improving their marriage--when he just wants to blame her for being too sensitive.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available wherever you get your books, or go to Dr. Chalmer’s website. https://brucechalmer.com. And watch for Dr. Chalmer’s forthcoming book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at https://ctin7.com!
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
How do you keep passion alive in a long-term relationship? Can you have a sexual awakening after decades of marriage? We talk to Dr. Alexandra Stockwell, known as “The Intimacy Doctor,” and answer a question from a listener who wants to get her sex life going again with her older husband.
Dr. Stockwell’s website is https://alexandrastockwell.com.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available wherever you get your books, or go to Dr. Chalmer’s website. https://brucechalmer.com. And watch for Dr. Chalmer’s forthcoming book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at https://ctin7.com!
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Been feeling frazzled lately? A lot of us have! Dr. Gina Simmons Schneider tells us what to do to calm our frazzlebrains, and helps out a listener.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available wherever you get your books, or go to Dr. Chalmer’s website. https://brucechalmer.com.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at https://ctin7.com!
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Remember our most popular episode, "It's Not About Communication!"? Well, Bruce has written a new book (out soon) called It's Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong. And spoiler alert: Bruce gives away the "zinger" of the book.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available wherever you get your books, or go to Dr. Chalmer’s website. https://brucechalmer.com.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at https://ctin7.com!
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
How do you get that erotic “wow” factor in your relationship? Not just in your sex life, but when you’re doing the dishes? We answer a listener question, and along the way talk some about our own relationship too.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available wherever you get your books, or go to Dr. Chalmer’s website. brucechalmer.com.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at ctin7.com!
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Polly and Cal came to therapy trying to improve their communication skills. Then one day they came into the session both smiling. Cal had realized something, and so had Polly, and it was making a big difference. What was their great insight?
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available wherever you get your books, or go to Dr. Chalmer’s website. brucechalmer.com.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at ctin7.com!
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Sex therapy and religion don’t often go together—but our guest on today’s podcast, Dr. Caleb Jacobson, is an expert on both, and how they reinforce each other. Dr. Jacobson’s website is https://sextherapypodcast.com. Here’s the discount link to our sponsored product today.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available wherever you get your books, or go to Dr. Chalmer’s website. brucechalmer.com.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at ctin7.com!
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
When you start couples therapy, how do you know if it’s helping? And how do you find a therapist in the first place? We help a listener who’s been through a bunch of therapy experiences that weren’t helpful, and is wondering how to know what to look for.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available wherever you get your books, or go to Dr. Chalmer’s website. brucechalmer.com.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at ctin7.com!
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
How are parents, imperfect as we all are, also heroes? How can a couple work together to help their children grow and thrive, even when the parents differ in their parenting styles? What’s the role of faith in parenting? In this episode of “Couples Therapy in Seven Words,” we interview early childhood expert DJ Stutz about these and other topics.
The websites DJ mentions are https://www.littleheartsacademyusa.com and https://imperfectheroespodcast.com.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available wherever you get your books, or go to Dr. Chalmer's website, brucechalmer.com.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at ctin7.com!
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
How do you talk to those people—you know, the people on the other side? What if they’re your in-laws? What if they’re not idiots after all? Or what if you are too? We talk about ideas versus ideologies (a big part of Bruce’s next book), and handle a listener question.
The book we refer to is I Never Thought of It That Way by Monica Guzman, and the website we mention is braverangels.org.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at ctin7.com!
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
In the US, about one in sex adults are providing unpaid care to an adult with health or functional needs. How does caregiving affect couples? What should caregivers know, and what help is available? In this episode of “Couples Therapy in Seven Words,” we interview Daniella Marchick, who provides counseling and consultation to caregivers and the people who help them.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at ctin7.com!
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Work relationships: How are they like couple relationships? How do the ideas of stability and intimacy apply to relationships between team members at work? June Shen-Epstein is a Project Manager who has thought a lot about the importance of work relationships, both to the business and to the people involved. In this episode of our “Couples Therapy in Seven Words” podcast, June talks about how she applies her understanding to her work managing teams, and handles a listener question about a common workplace relationship problem.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at ctin7.com!
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Are you looking for the perfect relationship? In this episode of the “Couples Therapy in Seven Words” podcast, Dr. Alyson Nerenberg explains that our quest for perfection is doomed to fail—and that’s good news, not bad. Her recently published book is No Perfect Love: Shattering the Illusion of Flawless Relationships.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at ctin7.com!
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
What does it take to help love survive over the long haul? Dr. Barbara Grossman is an individual, family, and couples therapist, and Dr. Michael Grossman is a medical doctor who specializes in anti-aging. Together they talk about their ideas on how to keep love alive.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at ctin7.com!
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Jeremy Sherman is a specialist in psychoproctology—the study of, well, the behavior of a**holes. He’s also a popular blogger for Psychology Today, a researcher who studies how life has emerged from chemicals, and a funny guy. Among other gems in this interview, Jeremy explains how he became happily married to solitude, when his lack of appetite finally caught up to his lack of aptitude.
Here's the link for the Psychology Today post we mention in the interview: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ambigamy/202204/partnership-troubles-may-be-why
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at ctin7.com!
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Liam Naden went from being homeless and loveless in his 40s to building a satisfying life and relationship. In this episode, Liam shares with us what he learned about the brain and how that knowledge can help anyone change their life. Along the way we handle a listener question: how can she recover from finding out her husband of 25 years had been cheating on her repeatedly?
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at ctin7.com!
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Be yourself! To thine own self be true! These are modern truisms. But what if the self you are is a jerk? In this episode of our “Couples Therapy in Seven Words” podcast, we handle a listener question that raises that possibility. How do I be myself and also rein in my worst impulses?
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at ctin7.com!
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
What does it mean to respect someone’s boundaries in a relationship? How is that concept useful, and how is it sometimes limiting or even damaging? In this episode, we handle a listener question that illustrates both the importance of respect and the ways people can get sidetracked by therapeutic jargon.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
For this special episode, we turn the tables and become the interviewees! Genesis Amaris Kemp, host of the GEMS podcast, interviews us about the seven-word formula, stability, intimacy, how we met, and a bunch of other fun topics.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
What happens when someone you think you know—someone you love, and feel a deep connection to—says or does something you never imagined they would say or do? Is all lost? In this episode of our “Couples Therapy in Seven Words” podcast, we talk about ways we’re all bundles of contradictions, with mixed feelings and opinions that can emerge at different times. Along the way, we discuss the work of Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, whose experience of a stroke taught her (and all of us, through her work) how to get to know the four different characters in our brains.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Lisa Carrillo works with couples to help them find and foster the experience of flow, that state of being open-hearted and open-minded, attuned to whatever is present. We talk about her work, and ways her understandings overlap with the seven words that are the basis of our podcast.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Young people are having less sex, and over half of single adults in the United States have given up on dating. Why? What’s going on? A chance conversation with a young woman, some research we’ve read about, and lots of conversations in the office led us to this topic. Along the way we touch on the topic of a celebrity whose involvement with gerbils was said to be…well, let’s say intensely personal. (We thought of calling this the gerbil episode, but thought better of it.)
What are your experiences? Write to us: judy@ctin7.com or bruce@ctin7.com.
Here’s a link to the article by Christine Emba we mention: https://www.nytimes.com/2022/04/07/opinion/sex-consent-dating-boundaries.html
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
When is it time to pull the plug on a relationship? In this episode, a listener brings us his dilemma: How can he talk to his partner about their relationship, when she freaks out if he raises the topic? And how can he decide what he wants himself?
We also give a tribute to our dear friend Bev Bettman. And we invite listeners to weigh in on one of the central concepts Bruce is working on for his next book: what happens when ideas harden into ideologies?
Here’s the link to the Seven Days article profiling us.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@CTin7.com, judy@CTin7.com, or just visit CTin7.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit CTin7.com for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
What do you do when your previously non-religious partner gets religious--and you have no desire to go along on the journey? Can a marriage survive this kind of change? We talk about how couples handle this in practice, and answer a listener question about it.
Here’s the link to the Seven Days article profiling us.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@CTin7.com, judy@CTin7.com, or just visit CTin7.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit CTin7.com for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Kate has a lovely marriage—they’re kind, considerate, and deeply bonded to each other. But Kate’s already low libido pretty much tanked after menopause. What can they do? In this episode we talk about some of the options, with particular reference to Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus’s book Sex Points.
Here’s the link to the Seven Days article profiling us.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@CTin7.com, judy@CTin7.com, or just visit CTin7.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit CTin7.com for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Can a card game for couples help your relationship? In this episode we interview Diana Indries, co-creator of the Better Topics for Couples card game. Diana explains the game and how she came to invent it with her husband, and takes us through some of the questions. Find out more about the game at bettertopics.com.
Here’s the link to the Seven Days article profiling us.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@CTin7.com, judy@CTin7.com, or just visit CTin7.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit CTin7.com for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Diane Sullivan is known as "The Rev," and is the art director of Seven Days, a newspaper in Vermont, for which she does an advice column. She is also the host of a podcast, "Talking Sh*t About Death." We have a delightful conversation with Diane about those pursuits, about her late husband's pee pictures, about a listener question, and...well, all sorts of things!
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@couplestherapyinsevenwords.com, judy@couplestherapyinsevenwords.com, or just visit couplestherapyinsevenwords.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit couplestherapyinsevenwords.com for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Cross-dressing is not all that unusual among heterosexual men, but their wives are usually not very happy about it. We handle a question from a listener who hid his cross-dressing secret from his wife for decades, only to be discovered. Now what?
Here’s the link to the Seven Days article profiling us.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@couplestherapyinsevenwords.com, judy@couplestherapyinsevenwords.com, or just visit couplestherapyinsevenwords.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit couplestherapyinsevenwords.com for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
When is it okay to move on after losing a relationship, either to death or divorce, and when is it too soon? What about the dreaded "one-year rule?" And what about the kids? Should they have a veto? We talk about these issues, and handle a listener question from a man who's begun to date less than a year after his wife's death.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@couplestherapyinsevenwords.com, judy@couplestherapyinsevenwords.com, or just visit couplestherapyinsevenwords.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit couplestherapyinsevenwords.com for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Can a couple survive if they can only find ten minutes a week for an uninterrupted conversation? We discuss an article from Psychology Today called “The 4-Hour Relationship,” and find we don’t completely agree on the premise!
The link to the article we talk about is here.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@couplestherapyinsevenwords.com, judy@couplestherapyinsevenwords.com, or just visit couplestherapyinsevenwords.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit couplestherapyinsevenwords.com for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
We look forward to the coming year!
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@couplestherapyinsevenwords.com, judy@couplestherapyinsevenwords.com, or just visit couplestherapyinsevenwords.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit couplestherapyinsevenwords.com for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
What do you think about the possibility of living to 100? However old you get to be, how can you live a life worth living, a life of meaning and fulfillment? We interview psychologist Dr. Joe Casciani, whose Living to 100 Club offers help with these issues, and we tackle a question from a listener who is aging well herself but fears her husband has given up.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@couplestherapyinsevenwords.com, judy@couplestherapyinsevenwords.com, or just visit couplestherapyinsevenwords.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit couplestherapyinsevenwords.com for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
We look back over our podcast year, and look ahead to 2022. Communication (more specifically, “It’s Not About Communication!”) continues to be our most popular topic, followed by sex. (Kind of makes sense, doesn’t it!) Along the way, Bruce lets slip what he’s working on for his next book.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@CouplesTherapyInSevenWords.com, judy@CouplesTherapyInSevenWords.com, or just visit CouplesTherapyInSevenWords.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit CouplesTherapyInSevenWords.com for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Want to change your sex life from meh to magnificent? We talk to women’s intimacy and sex coach Debbie Elzea. She tells us about seven things that women need for a great sex life, and answers a listener question from a woman who’s too pooped to participate.
Debbie’s website is https://moreintimacy.net.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
How do you handle Christmas if you’re not Christian? Judy shares her experience as a synagogue educator working with interfaith families who want to strengthen their child’s Jewish identity, and Bruce tells how his feelings about this have evolved over the years. We handle a listener question from a Jewish woman married to a non-practicing Catholic man about how to handle Christmas with their daughter, who they are raising Jewish.
The website Judy talks about is 18doors.org.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
How does faith heal people? And what’s the difference between faith and ideology? And where does religion fit in? And what does all of this have to do with couples therapy, anyway? We handle a listener question that focuses on all of these ideas.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
As the song says, breaking up is hard to do. How do you get over a breakup you didn't want, when you are co-parenting with your ex and have to see them or at least communicate with them every day? We handle a listener question that has multiple layers: What can a mother do for her adult son who hasn't been able to get past being dumped by his wife?
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
The holidays are supposed to be times of family togetherness and joy. But what if they aren’t? And what happens to a couple when one person’s pain becomes the other’s impossible dilemma?
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
How does faith fit in relationships, and in couples therapy? What happens when one partner is way more religiously observant than the other? How can couples communicate about those differences? We talk about these issues with David Fredman, who is both an Orthodox rabbi and a licensed marriage and family therapist. Along the way, Rabbi Fredman tells us about his interest in Mussar, a Jewish self-improvement tradition, and graphology, the study of handwriting as a way of gaining insight into personality trends.
Contact Rabbi Fredman at dfredman.mft@gmail.com.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
How do you handle it if your partner is complaining about how you clean. Or worse--if they're bullying you? And will learning how to communicate better help? We revisit a listener question from Bruce's blog.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
The HBO series "Scenes from a Marriage" got us going! Join us as we relate our favorite ideas about intimacy to the struggles of Jonathan and Mira. Warning: spoiler alerts! We also handle a listener question about respect: What does it mean to respect your partner, and how do women and men differ about that?
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Financial and money concerns come up in couples therapy a lot--sometimes as deal-breakers. In our delightful interview with Natalie and Dan Slagle, who own and operate Fyooz Financial Planners (fyoozfinancial.com), we talk about their work helping couples use their money to live a more purposeful life. And we answer a listener question: How do you handle money when one member of a couple grew up with affluence, and the other was financially traumatized?
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
By far our most popular episode so far has been the one called, "It's Not About Communication!" But...what if it is? We talk about what happens when ideas--like noticing how people behave when they're communicating well--harden into ideologies--like techniques and rules. Along the way we cover the idea of relational fundamentalism (thanks to Judy for that coinage!), and how faith is the opposite of fundamentalism.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
What happens when your partner wants way more sex than you do? Or way less? We talk about the death spiral that can happen in a relationship--but also about opportunities for grace, intimacy, and erotic connection, at any age.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Everything you know about couples therapy is wrong! Well, maybe not everything. But we talk about what happens when your therapist puts their precious theories ahead of actual people, who somehow refuse to behave like the manual says. Join us as Bruce manages to insult Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Non-Violent Communication, and even his own ideas, smiling all the while.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Rules for communication! Everyone wants rules for communication! Of dozens of possibilities, here are five popular, common-sense rules--all of them ridiculous.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
We're responding to a provocative question posed by a letter to Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus: If you watch porn, do you have to tell your partner about it? What are the pros and cons? Is porn okay at all, and if it is, how should a couple deal with it?
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
We're live! (Well, we taped before a live audience!) Check out our discussion of communication (it's still not about communication!), sex, intimacy, and other topics, with provocative and personal questions from our audience. Thanks to Temple Sinai in South Burlington, Vermont for hosting this event.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
We talk about a lot of couples. But what about our own story? Thanks to a listener question, we tell all (well, we tell a lot!).
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Did you know that sexual desire and sexual arousal aren't the same--that you can be capable of arousal but have little desire, or have a lot of desire but experience little arousal? We have a lively, engaging interview with the Orthodox Sex Guru and Queen of Vibrators herself, Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus, whose book Sex Points was released earlier this year.
The series on vibrators Bat Sheva mentions can be found here.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by the Fyre and Lightning Consort. Visit us at brucechalmer.com/podcast. Get Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark here or wherever you get books.
What's funny got to do with couples therapy? We talk to Izzy Gesell, a funny man who teaches us how to let ourselves be vulnerable enough to risk being foolish--and along the way, opens our hearts. We play an improv game to illustrate that takes a rather risqué turn!
Izzy's website is IzzyG.com.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by the Fyre and Lightning Consort. Visit us at brucechalmer.com/podcast. Get Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark here or wherever you get books.
If you had an affair, are you a total screw-up? Is there hope for healing? What if your partner cheated? Spoiler alert: Healing is possible--but it's not easy. We talk about cheating, guilt, apologies, and the possibility that a couple can survive an affair. And we handle a listener question from someone who's in the middle of it.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Help! My mother-in-law is crazy, and I don't know how to handle it! When you marry someone, you're marrying their family too. We talk about how to manage difficult in-laws, and transform a crazy relationship into an enriching one.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
A delightful conversation with Susan Bratton, who teaches couples how to go from just having sex to making love. Susan tells us about the Sexual Soulmate Pact, how to get the juices flowing even when desire has been long gone, and how both women and men can learn to say what they want and hear what their partner needs. Susan shows us her favorite vibrators, and tells us how to use them. Rated PG-13.
Susan's websites we mention in the podcast are: sexualsoulmatepact.com, personallifemedia.com, and betterlover.com.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by the Fyre and Lightning Consort. Visit us at brucechalmer.com/podcast. Get Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark here or wherever you get books.
Okay, let's get snarky. Everybody comes in to couples therapy saying, "We need to communicate better." No you don't! (Well, you probably don't--okay, it's complicated.) We talk about why it's not about how you talk. And then we handle a listener question.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Your wife has just tricked you into giving your irrevocable blessing to the wrong son. Can you get past that? We interview Isaac and Rebecca, and along the way we learn how complicated things can get when the voice of God gets involved.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Kol Sason v"Kol Simcha by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
What would you do if your husband had just taken your son to sacrifice him, and was stopped at the last second? Sarah and Abraham reached out to us to help them with the marital fallout from this event, and we do our best to offer a path to reconciliation--with mixed success.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Kol Sason v"Kol Simcha by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Wait a minute. Our seven-word formula says, "Be kind, don't panic, and have faith." And I (Bruce) go around claiming that it's the faith part that heals people. So what does that mean? We pick up on some reviewer comments, and some questions from Judy, and explore what faith means in the context of helping couples heal.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
He's always blaming her. She's tired of it. Can they work it out? We interview Adam and Eve to see if we can help them resolve their troubles.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Kol Sason v"Kol Simcha by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Can love and passion endure at any age? Myra and Seth Barovick are living proof that they can! We interview Myra and Seth about life, love, and family.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Can this royal marriage survive? We interview Vashti and Achashverosh, live on the program, and see what we can do.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Kol Sason v"Kol Simcha by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Heresy! How can we accuse "The Brady Bunch" of being a disaster for blended families? Well, Judy and Bruce don't totally agree on that proposition. Listen as we consider the issues that blended families face, and take on a listener question.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Why should anyone get married any more? You don't need to be married to buy property, have kids, or pretty much anything else. And marriage doesn't guarantee anything--look at the divorce rate! So why do it? We talk about one crucial reason why you should (or shouldn't) get married. Then we handle a listener question on the topic.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Dr. Mark Levine is the Commissioner of Health of the State of Vermont, and the pandemic has made him the greatest rock star from Vermont since Phish. We interview Mark and his wife Nancy about their life in the spotlight, the effects of the pandemic on couples, and the outlook for the coming months. Then we handle a listener question.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
How do you know when to call it quits in a relationship? We talk about some of our own experiences, and give some guidelines on how to handle this painful dilemma. Then we tackle a listener question.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
What happened to our sex life? Well, we're not talking about our sex life (hey, that's between us!), but about a question lots of couples ask. We talk about three different types of issues that come up, and handle a listener question.
The book we mention is Guide to Getting It On by Paul Joannides, illustrated by Daerick Gross Sr.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
A special episode: We share our thoughts and feelings--and our deep pain--about the Trumpist insurrection on 1/6/21. And we look toward healing, for the country, for couples, and for us all.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
We look back--not always so fondly--at 2020, and look ahead to the new year. And we revisit the seven-word formula.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
How can couples survive the pandemic? We talk about the effects of our individual fears, differences between the couple, and the perils of being stuck together more than you might want. Then we handle a listener question: how can she deal with her husband being home all the time?
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
A special episode for the holiday season. We talk about the perfect gift for your relationship--for yourself, your significant other, and the two of you together. It's not for every couple--but if you can handle it, it could be just what you need!
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
How do you know when to call it quits in a relationship? We talk about how you can tell the difference between deal-breakers and growing pains, and then offer three guidelines. Then we take a listener question--one that comes very close to one of our experiences!
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
What do you do if your partner has been unfaithful? Infidelity is a very common occurrence. We give five guidelines to help you heal, and then take a listener question: she cheated on her husband, felt terrible, and admitted it when he confronted her. She knows it was wrong, but also realized that she's been starved for intimacy for years. Now her husband won't talk to her about it. What should she do? Listen to our answer, and let us know your thoughts.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
This is a special edition of our podcast, recorded a little over a week after the 2020 election. How can we heal as a nation? We apply the same seven-word formula--"Be kind, don't panic, and have faith"--that guides Dr. Chalmer's work with couples to the task of healing a divided nation.
Here's the link to Seth Chalmer's article mentioned in the episode: https://quillette.com/2020/11/12/towards-shared-identities/
Let us know what you think! Email us, or visit brucechalmer.com/podcast.
A quarter of Americans -- millions of people -- are currently estranged from a family member. That's one of the findings Dr. Karl Pillemer describes in his book, Fault Lines: Fractured Familes and How to Mend Them. As Dr. Pillemer interviewed hundreds of people in his study of estrangement, he discovered a subset of his interviewees who had been estranged, often for years, and had reconciled. And he found that their experiences of reconciliation were transformative. In our delightful interview with Dr. Pillemer, we explored his work, and applied it to a listener question from a wife about how a cutoff between her husband and her father was threatening her marriage.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
In this episode we talk about sex: plain old, good, and sacred. What does it take to go from plain old sex to good sex? What's sacred sex, anyway?
Then we handle a listener question: "Chloe" likes sex with her husband, but resents his petulant reactions when he wants it and she's not in the mood. What can they do?
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Why get married? There's little or no social stigma or legal penalty, at least in most Western cultures, for having sex, having kids, or owning property together as a couple without being married. So what makes marriage significant?
In this episode we put that question to Rabbi Michael M. Cohen and Alison Hill, a married couple from Manchester, Vermont. They share what they've learned about marriage from being married themselves for over 30 years (with a great origin story!), and then answer a listener question: the writer wants to get married before she gets pregnant; her boyfriend also wants kids, but doesn't want to get married. Is this a deal-breaker?
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
We interview Dr. Janis Spring, author of After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful, which has sold over 600,000 copies in the past 26 years and has just been published in a third edition. Dr. Spring tells us about her approach to helping couples deal with infidelity, talks about some of the changes she's seen over the past decades, and tells us what's new in the third edition of her book.
Then we pose a listener question to Dr. Spring: Is it cheating if he's using porn without his wife's knowledge?
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
A special episode by request for the month of Elul, the month in the Jewish calendar immediately preceding the High Holy Days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. We talk about the concept of teshuvah, and how it relates to faith and forgiveness.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Why is faith important in your relationship, even if you're not religious? We talk about three kinds of faith, each of which plays a critical role in how we see ourselves, our partners, and our relationships.
Then we handle a listener question: His wife seems to be having an emotional affair. Is he right to feel hurt, or is this toxic jealousy? And what does that have to do with faith?
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
What does it take to have a happy marriage for over 40 years? And how can the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) help couples get there? Susan and Bob Epstein are certified Life Coaches who use the MBTI to help their clients reach their goals and improve their relationships. We interview Susan and Bob about their work and their marriage, and then present them with a question from a listener who is afraid that doing the MBTI might tell him something about his marriage he'd rather not know.
Susan's website is here.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Barbra is Black, grew up in Uganda, and became a Jew by choice after she married Doug. Doug is white, grew up outside of Boston, and was and is a "very secular" Jew who is now the president of a synagogue. They live and raise their children in Vermont, one of the least racially diverse states in the country. What's that like? How are they affected by racism and antisemitism, individually, as a couple, and as parents? Listen to their fascinating stories in this episode!
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
We interview Dr. Christine DiBlasio, a psychologist and 4th degree Black Belt in Kempo-Jujitsu Karate, about her innovative programs using concepts of Empowerment Self Defense to help survivors of sexual abuse. Together with Dr. DiBlasio, we consider a listener's question: how can she get over her tendency to shut down whenever a relationship starts to become sexual?
Wondering about the idea of affirmative consent? Want to learn about ways of preventing partner violence, both in the general community and on college campuses? Dr. DiBlasio shares her passionate commitment and expert knowledge about these and other topics in a lively discussion in this episode.
For more information about Dr. DiBlasio's work, see her guest blog post here.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
What is faith, and why is it crucial for relationships, even if you're not religious? Faith isn't the same as religion or spirituality. And it's the opposite of fundamentalism! Find out why. For our listener question this time, "Edna" wants her marriage to go back to the way it was before her husband told her he thinks he might be gay. What to do? And what does that have to do with faith?
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
How do you get hold of yourself when your partner is freaking out, or freaking you out? We talk about shame and guilt, getting to the right argument, and tolerating ups and downs without panic. Then we handle a listener question: How can I stop hounding my husband who cheated on me?
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
How does trauma affect relationships? We talk a bit about the next topic in Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark, and then turn to an interview with Rabbi David Edleson. Rabbi Edleson talks about his work doing rabbinic counseling with couples, his role as a congregational rabbi, and his life as a gay man in a 38-year relationship.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
What happens to passion in long-term couples? And how can they keep their sex life alive and well? We talk about the next chapter of Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark, called "The Death Spiral for Passion." Then we have a lively interview with Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus, the "Orthodox Sex Guru." Dr. Marcus talks about her work as a sex therapist, and how both her Orthodox Judaism and her passionate feminism influence her work. Along the way, she busts some common myths about sex and aging, and handles a listener question.
You can find more about Dr. Marcus on Instagram @drbatsheva. She is the co-host of The Joy of Text, a monthly podcast about Judaism, sexuality, and the intersection between the two.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
What good is panic? And how does it affect your relationships? We talk about how panic affects us, and then handle a listener question: How can a woman who's only been with women before tell a guy she loves that their sex life isn't doing it for her?
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
What are the gifts you need for your relationship to thrive? We talk about stability and intimacy--how they're both vital, but sometimes conflict. Then we tackle a listener question: He wants to watch porn with her to spice up their sex life, she thinks he's a pervert for suggesting it. Now what?
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you! Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
The topic is kindness--not just being nice, but in the stronger (and more difficult) sense of being kin. We explain how assuming good will helps shape your relationship toward that sense of kinship. Then we talk about a provocative listener question: how can their marriage survive when one partner can't stand President Trump, and the other supports him?
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you! Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Welcome to Couples Therapy in Seven Words! Your hosts, Dr. Bruce Chalmer and Judy Alexander, tell you what you need to know about relationships, and answer your questions. In this first episode, Dr. Chalmer introduces the seven-word formula, explains how our needs for stability and intimacy often conflict, and answers a listener question.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you! Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort