Steps To Your Better You: Recent Episodes
J Cleveland Payne
If you can spare a minute and a half, you can learn a full lesson in personal development. Steps To Your Better You offers tips for improved living that are quick to digest and simple to implement with a runtime of just 90 seconds. New episodes of the podcast released every Wednesdays in your podcast feed or the website yourbetteryou.info.
Using daily affirmations to challenge and overcome negative self-talk, building self-esteem and motivation is a great way to, well, challenge and overcome negative self-talk, building self-esteem and motivation.
Whether young or young at heart, self-discipline is a skill that can be developed or improved. Implement small, consistent actions to strengthen self-control and follow through on your commitments.
It may be time to remove a few people from your list or take yourself off another person’s list for them.
Set yourself up for more adventure and less frustration in accompanying tasks and learning new skills by calling them ‘quests’ and checking them off as missions accomplished.
Use tools like to-do lists and the Pomodoro Technique to manage time effectively and increase productivity.
Regularly acknowledge and appreciate the positives in your life to boost overall happiness and motivation.
Personal development advice is universal and primarily evergreen. Hearing the words is important, but they are worthless without some work.
You don't have to make it cult-like, but establishing a consistent and productive morning routine will set a positive tone for the day.
Embracing challenges and viewing failures as opportunities to learn and grow is not just a way, it's the inspiring path that fuels your personal and professional growth.
If you are unsure how to start setting personal or professional goals, the SMART method (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound) is the best way to accomplish them.
Boring people cannot see past what they were taught to believe. Lacking the ability to see other people's perspectives is why they are bad at communicating.
Take into account the views of other people and cultures that you are surrounded by that you may have never truly noticed.
Infinite lives and NPCs who only exist to do your bidding may seem fantastic, but they only exist in the world behind your VR headset. You have to learn to navigate and thrive in the world that exists IRL, with no skins or filters.
Things may not be going the way you want them to fight now. Or even in a marginally positive way. You have to find the resources to keep moving forward.
Your perceived intelligence is less about how much you know and more about the perception your audience has of you. You are probably smart enough already, but there is nothing wrong with gaining more knowledge. But improving how you communicate your intelligence is a better way to show the world you have ‘increased’ your intelligence.
We need more people to keep dreaming. But we really need more of those people to put more action into turning great dreams into greater realities.
You are closer to achieving that goal than you think, even if the world around you seems to be crashing down on you. Show some faith in your past efforts, your future returns, and all those who have worked to stick with you along the way.
The right people will be attracted to your life when you quit playing roles you think they want to see. Stop hiding who you authentically are, even if you are not exactly the person you wish to be.
The most precious currency you have to trade with is time. You exchange time to acquire money, resources, relationships, and comfort. Spending time on useless activities (unless they bring you joy in a time of rest) wastes currency you can not earn back and cannot transfer to others at the end of your time on the planet.
Boring people also can't make people cry, want to dance, or burst out in song. Learn to tell a few stories with an emotional range that can move people.
Work hard, and do not let the opinions of foolish people automatically discredit their views. They often know more than they seem to, even if their words and actions may steer you to believe otherwise.
Often, a solution will present itself in laying out a problem. Or at least, the skills needed to fix the problem will be revealed so you can find the right people with the right skills to fix it.
Personal epiphanies feel great, but they fade within weeks. Upon having an epiphany, make a plan and start actually changing behavior.
The less stress you can put on others to achieve your primary goals, the easier it is for those others to achieve their primary goals. And vice versa.
Doing the same things over and over may, on the surface, seem like the fate of the boring. The reality is the consistency of repeating actions helps you stay on task and sane when a routine gets busted.
An unanswerable questions like "What is my purpose?" can catalyze great things. Take the fear out of not having an answer and work hard to find one.
Our good plans fall apart when we delay working on them, so put some work into them immediately. Until they prove to be a path to a bad plan, then a little procrastination may help you see where the errors of your ways lie.
Don't be concerned with the amount of good others are doing in the world. Don't be concerned with the amount of good you could do in the world if you had their position and resources. Focus on the amount of good you can do right now, and what you can do #as you increase your role in society.
This is not a setup for depression but an exercise in strategic planning. Sports teams always practice how to recover from a ‘broken play.’ Run some of your future life plans in your head, visualize what parts might not work, and fix those parts ahead of time.
Boring people do not know how to tell a good story. Learning good story structure and practicing a few stories so you can easily find the right one to tell will make you less boring.
It is easy for you to judge others for their apparent faults. It is not easy for you to notice your faults and spit instant hot takes your way on how to fix them. But when you can do it, the payoff is huge.
If something surprises you repeatedly, you see a trend. Stop being surprised by a thing you know is going to happen. And if it is
Develop a habit of getting the running list of things out of your head and onto paper, making the list real and tangible.
This is not about what they have earned because they probably haven’t. This addresses your ability to maintain your composure around others by not letting yourself get triggered by difficult people.
There is a lesson to learn from every experience and moment you live through. These are lessons for you and those who have their eyes on you.
Don’t let outside opinions drive the pursuits of your goals. At the same time, put a realistic time limit to those goals that you can hold yourself to.
Find ways to evaluate your life and fix the issues before they become real problems. Zoom in to find the details that need addressing, and zoom out to see your life in exhaustive detail to ensure you are moving along a worthy path.
As a door closes on an opportunity, another one is not guaranteed to open nearby. Plus, they tend to open when they want to, not on any rhyme or reason that follows your work to be prepared for any opportunity.
The phrase ‘follow your passion’ is getting much-deserved hate from the personal development world because of the ease it can be used to manipulate and mislead. Following your passion is not necessarily bad advice, but it rarely comes with a manageable financial plan attached.
Whatever issues you face, if you can put a dollar value on it, whether just a single dollar or a million dollars, the problem becomes solvable. Even if you don’t currently have a million dollars to solve it.
Success is possible through relationships, as no one travels through this life all alone. Success is even possible if a partner relationship moves toward the cool side. Gaining success and maintaining the relationship will be challenging, but it is possible.
If a person faces deserved group criticism, the urge to join the fray in the verbal beatdown is high. Resist this urge, as it does help in teaching a lesson already learned. It just brings extra ugly to the situation, often making it worse.
Some people have trouble thinking of themselves as valuable unless told by someone else. Some people believe their value is better portrayed by tearing other people down. You can help them out in both cases by slathering on more compliments to people.
This week’s message was inspired by a rennet post on Seth Godin’s blog that made me evaluate what motivates me in my pursuits. Is it reaching the stated goal or just the journey to get there?
The best time to question the consequence of your actions is after you have survived an ordeal. The second-best time to question the consequences of your actions is the moment you begin to see the consequences of your actions.
Learn to endure 'stupid questions' as questions asked by people who truly don't know the answer. Learn to endure the people who tend to claim, 'I'm just trying to ask a question,' as people determined to be jerks despite the situation.
Want to feel empowered and better about yourself and your life? Face your fears and work toward that goal alluding to you. Just take it one tiny step at a time.
You don’t want to look for ways to exploit those around you. You’re looking for a way to better understand people by getting to know the side they (usually) do their best not to show you.
Sit down with a physical pen and a piece of paper. Use your phone app if you must. Freely brainstorm for at least 5 minutes (longer if you are feeling it), and out which ideas have been bogging you down, and make plans to do something about them.
You must have a good sense of perspective when going through a rough stretch of failures and coming up short. A rejection is not necessarily the signal of the end of a journey, and it may be a detour or a pivot.
If you repeat a process enough, you forget it is a process, and it becomes a habit you automatically do without fail. This is true for positive and negative processes, so be vigilant of what patterns find themselves running on autopilot in your life.
When you don't feel like you have much personal power to change your situation, take one small step. Make a simple plan to get you out of a bad mental state, and start with step one.
You will spend more time working at your job than anything else. And while your job can be fulfilling, it can also be mind-numbingly depressing. The only thing a job has to do is pay you money for the work you produce. Any love for your job (or loyalty to an employer) is unnecessary.
Sturgeon's law, coined by Theodore Sturgeon, states that 90% of everything is crap. For you, that means the things you hold in high regard are probably only of average worth at best, so be mindful of what you choose to attach yourself to.
This is not a slight to whatever opinions on topics you have, just a reminder not to have such a high opinion of yourself.
Very simple things heavily influence a human's well-being. Things like getting a good night's sleep, a brisk round of exercise, and enjoying a moment of reflection can mean more to a person than wealth, power, and influence.
Delayed gratification is a key component to success, but not a hard fast rule. However, treating skipping to the fun stuff without completing the needed assignments as a casual everyday coin flip decision is a quick way to assure lack of progress.
Most meetings never need more than 30 minutes to accomplish their missions. Many only need 15 minutes. Some really can be handled over a few emails. Save your self more time to get the stuff done instead of being stuck in meetings.
With all your hard work, you not only deserve to take a break, but you probably need a longer on to recoup your energy. You also have toe learn (and learn to live with) the idea of taking more frequent and longer breaks mean somethings just can be done, at least not by you specifically.
Believe it or not, one of the greatest test for people who are hesitant to engage in relationship or unsure if they want to be a parent (to either human or fur babies) is spending quality time at home with living houseplants.
What was once (and again will be) overused meme advice to hype hustle culture, the mantra of ‘fail faster’ is our lesson in personal development for the week.
The always controversial tip is back. Make it simple, and find more ways to drink more actual (or close to actual) water.
Your time is precious, and the most precious time you have is right as you get started for the morning. Because the general public has less chance of interfering with your schedule, consider then the right time to schedule exercise.
Focus on trustworthy news sources that look to update and advance the stories, not just produce endless commentary to keep people hooked like a news addict.
Depending on how chatty you choose to be with your phone, you may get notifications for everything from emails to retweets. And they are constant, even in times when you are giving real focus to relaxation. A proper fix is to turn off your alerts and get away from your phone for a while.
Being present does not involve being physically present for every event and moment. It does involve having the presence of mind to realize when a possible moment is happening and where that particular moment is worth skipping to ensure you can create other moments later.
Put all your focus on considering, 'But what if you don't fail?' If you do fail and you don't like it, stop. If you don't fail or fail but still see some fondness in the activity, keep at it.
Just because you feel gloomy doesn't mean you should use that as a mask to show off to the world. Show the world more of your best self (especially when you are not feeling like your best self) and watch as the world reacts more favorably to you.
If Saturday is your sleep-in lazy day and you spend all day Sunday in panic in preparation for Monday, you need to rethink how much of an unstructured day you can have on Saturday
A good-enough teacher can lead a good-enough student to great things, while a lousy student will flounder regardless of what you think about their instructor.
Find the easiest way to start a task that is difficult to do or has a long lead time to success. Success is closer than you think, especially if you deploy the right hacks and take valid shortcuts.
Take broad-spectrum advice like this as needed, but the best way to get help is to ask honest friends who love you.
Remember that all the people who used the same methods and failed do not get platforms to share their lack of success.
You do not need education or anybody’s permission to achieve your goals. Do not waste time seeking approval or overthinking your mission.
As long as you are taking care of your business without interfering in other people’s business, what other people think of you doesn’t matter.
While you should be working as hard as possible to not bring yourself an early death, be vary aware that you are not going to escape that final fate.
You have more confidence when you feel good about the way you look and present yourself. It may be cliché to say, but when you think you look good, you always feel better.
One of the best ways to shake yourself out of a funk is to get a quick win. One of the ways to get a quick win is to make simple plan that is easy to complete to check off the activities.
For every 20 minutes of working in front of a screen, look at a spot 20 feet away for 20 seconds. This program will help you reduce eye strain from long screen exposure and is easy to remember (or at least program reminders to keep you on task).
Life is about developing a legacy that will last beyond your living years, not trying to stretch the living years to an unnatural extension.
Trying to fit a role may mean doing things you would not normally do. Make sure that a part of your motivation is based on your wanting to do the things.
You will often find your extra effort for others wasted and not valued or appreciated. Don't expect a magic moment of clarity to spur you one, but don't just stop doing the extra either
You have the right to give up on bad books, boring TV shows, dumb ideas, and people who do nothing positive for you.
There are some activities you are not meant to improve upon because there are some activities you are not meant to do because they get in the way of the activities you are supposed to work on to improve.
Regular people think their regular lives do not translate to great stories to tell others. This is never true. The problem is never the story itself. The problem is not taking enough time in the editing process.
Chances are, if you had a chance to see the burdens that others you know have to carry in complete pain and detail, you might not feel so bad about your own problems and find the extra motivation to eliminate with as many as possible, once and for all.
There are plenty of people in the world at large looking to leach off your personality and you personally. Even some of the people with good intentions can end up being bad for you mentally. Combat this by getting mentally tougher and making sure to keep your mind right.
When you find out a fact about a person that is entirely mundane, don’t oversell your excitement.
Even a poor attempt can be an achievement when the alternative is not to make an attempt.
Treat every object as an imposition upon your attention, because it is. A workspace is not a place for storing things. It is a place for accomplishing things.
You don’t need special training just to be there for a person. You just need some patience and the ability to really listen.
It’s good to build resilience, but sometimes it isn’t your fault if something really gets to you.
No one can live forever, including you. So celebrate the joys of life whenever you can, and do what you can to not die.
Start with throwing one thing away, clearing one small space, or cleaning one small room. Declutter your physical space to help declutter your mind.
Call your parents when you think of them and make the time to tell your friends that you love them.
A noun, meaning, “sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.” Now that you know what compassion is, I ask you to go out and show the world a lot more of it.
We often believe those who do wrong are acting in the interest of purpose causing turmoil; and strife. More likely, they are just misguided, misled, or plain stupid.
There is nothing wrong with you. You have all you can to get yourself to this place you are in now. But you can’t stay here, and that means looking to what you need to do to get to ‘there.’
A 90-second message to over-explain what you should understand in just three: done is better than perfect.
Many people have trouble thinking of themselves as smart, pretty, or kind unless told by someone else. You can help them out and it cost you just a small amount of time and effort.
It’s about time you got a little more comfortable with yourself to be more comfortable being yourself around others.
Some of your relationships lost during the pandemic separations may not be worth trying to put back together.
You’re not an old dog who can’t learn a new trick. You’re an older person unwilling to sacrifice time now you wish you sacrificed at a younger age.
Set up more stories of how you failed and what you learned about yourself than how you overcame with little effort to oversell a positive.
Survivorship bias is defined as “the logical error of concentrating on the people or things that ‘survived’ some process and inadvertently overlooking those that did not work because of their lack of visibility.” The purpose of this podcast episode is to take your focus off what those considered winners did to win but on the things the losers may or may not have done not to.
As you mature in knowing yourself, you’ll learn more about what you do and do not care for. It would be best to care more about how you feel about yourself than trying to hide away those unfortunate ‘quirks’ that people may use to hold you back.
Being a human being is complicated and extremely hard. Being a human being who can interact with other human beings, especially with you, can be complicated and extremely hard. Just because a person can fit neatly into your life doesn’t make that person a horrible person.
Don't kill yourself to get a good thing going but don’t just settle for a 'good run' when things get difficult.
Where I tell you there is still virtue in 'hanging in there,' even when you're pretty sure it’s not worth the effort.
Go to the gym. Or the yoga studio. Or run up and down the block. Whatever you want to do to get yourself in better physical shape now, go get started.
When buying things, work the time versus money trade-off against each other. If you’re low on money, take more time to find deals. If you’re low on time, stop looking for great deals and just buy the things you need quickly.
You don't have to be a hardcore diary writer to get benefits from seeing your thought in front of you on paper.
The sooner you start to put the trials and tribulations of what you hope will be a fruitful and historic journey, the better you will feel to have the full story documented when that time comes.
While it is true that the bulk of the work needed for your personal survival through a crisis must be done by you, you can never fully recover all on your own.
A quick lesson on the Greek hero Achilles and how you need to put in the work to identify and protect your own heel.
When working toward a balanced life, 'extremes' are always a bad idea.
'Steps To Your Better You' offers a unique approach to life coach-styled media. Each 90-second episode offers an quick lesson that is just as quick to put into practice. In short period of time, you can take in a few messages, and put them to work towards your personal and professional improvement goals.
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Follow the advice of the Japanese sage of tidying up with your entire life. If it does not bring you joy (and there are no significant penalties), stop doing it.
Finding yourself stressed and over-stimulated? Create a sacred space you can retreat to and work yourself down.
What can you learn from taking a course or hiring a coach? What can you learn from taking another course or hiring another coach?
When brushing your teeth and combing your hair in the morning becomes a near-insurmountable chore, it’s time to take a pause.
Advantages, fair or unfair, are always fair game for use. If you have access to a platform that puts you in front of a key audience, you need to take advantage of it.
Burning bridges should not be your standard practice, but if you end a relationship that was really bad, should you allow that path back to exist?
Filters and jump cuts are a reality to how people present themselves and their lives that we will never see go away. That means we must be more vigilant in paying attention to the filters and jump cuts used, and knowing what is more likely to be real and with is curated (or just plain fake).
'Steps To Your Better You' offers a unique approach to life coach-styled media. Each 90-second episode offers an quick lesson that is just as quick to put into practice. In short period of time, you can take in a few messages, and put them to work towards your personal and professional improvement goals.
Find More Info @ http://yourbetteryou.info/
Follow Our Twitter @ http://twitter.com/_yourbetteryou
Follow Our Facebook @ http://facebook.com/yourbetteryou.info
A Les Brown motivational quote that some Facebookers take offense made me think about what exactly I am doing with my own motivational messages.
Simple wisdom that my kid reminds me of constantly. Even if she tends to believe she should not be held to the same standard.
Whether you are a creator or just a person feeling the blues, the best way to find inspiration is to get up and go find it. Somewhere where you currently are not.
Bad decisions have cumulative effects that take a lifetime of toll over your lifetime. Do not expect to snap your fingers and watch it instantly get all better?
When you set that alarm the night before, you’re promising yourself you’re going to get up at that time. Get up at that time.
Survivor guilt occurs when a person believes they have done something wrong by surviving a traumatic or tragic event when others did not. Do not succumb to this feeling.
Every performance is not an audition. You don’t have to wow the crowds with every order served. You do have to serve the crowds with the orders that they asked for.
The last lesson was about finding a way to clear your personal clutter. Make sure you are not enabling other's personal clutter additions when you give physical gifts to friends and family.
You don't have to call up Marie Kondo to get your literal house in order. You can establish your own rules for when to throw out old junk. Once your personal rules are established, the junk will cease to be a problem as you have a buffer for the impulses and emotions attached to stuff.
Accessories that help you get things done are worth the trouble of setting up and expense.
Think of two banks, one that charges you for your account, and one that does not. To justify the extra expense, there must be some real explanation for it.
If you’re looking for your good version of a thing, and all you have are bad ones, throw those out. This is a message worth repeating since it is one of the hardest to live up to.
The reality of life is the space you take up in the world is not yours by design. You must claim it, and sometimes forcefully take it from someone who feels the same attachment to that spot as you do.
Yes, we reached another milestone. We’re going to use this point to offer up another reminder to celebrate your milestones. And to remember that every day you are given is an opportunity to celebrate.
Pipelines (real pipes or series of processed) are the lifeblood of production. But a pipeline cannot be laid without work and planning. They need time to connect Point A to Point B, and then make the shipments work.
Never put your full faith in any man or woman. All humans are fallible, and anyone can fail you in a time of need.
I describe myself as ‘boring on purpose,’ to deter people with drama who think they are overly exciting from attaching me to their personal drama. But truly bored people, people with no direction, are truly boring.
When you ask people, “What’s your favorite…?” they then to stumble to come up with the right answer. Instead, ask them what they are currently enjoying most. They will almost always have one and be able to talk about it.
Distance can make the heart grow fonder. But it is always a major stressor in maintaining a basic relationship. Know which of your relationships can withstand not staying in proximity and which cannot.
Meditation is harder than it should be. Taking easier steps to motivation, like just taking a moment to pause your life, helps.
A new statistic states that for a regular person, about a third of the people they know would show up for their funeral, and you can cut that number in half if it’s raining that day. If you find yourself giving too much to a person you would bet money would not show up for your funeral on a sunny day, step back.
Lights, camera, wait, what comes next? If there is nothing going on then there is nothing to worry or care about. Action is the key to life.
Life doesn’t work out well for people who try to live their lives sitting on the fence.
Every piece of wisdom you acquire may not seem apply to you in the moment. It’s not about the moment. It’s about having the a few extra messages in your back pocket for those times when you do need it.
You don’t have to look back a full year, but take a time frame from the past and work to double your productivity now.
You are an amazing person with a combination of skills and talents that no one can duplicate, and many in your orbit can not live without. Don’t wait until your work gets noticed for you to get recognition. Do amazing things immediately and get noticed because you are amazing.
Everyone knows the wisdom of having backup plans. Few people put in the work to craft and develop backup plans on par with the main plan.
You should work hard to be punctual with all your scheduled events. Even if your peers never are. That is true professionalism.
You are extremely gifted, even if you feel overpowered by the accomplishments and gifts presented by others. Never discount your own abilities.
Looking for a way to stand out? Become a master at some skill, and show the skill to the world.
Viciousness you excuse in yourself, friends, or teammates will one day return to you, and then you won’t have an excuse.
People who are extremely vocal about their values, goals, rules, and lifestyle have to be consistent with their actions. If the two contradict each other, pay attention!
Make sure to keep track of the good things that occur, as slow as they may seem to unfold, to avoid being attached to a dismal (and inaccurate) view of the world.
There is evidence that introverts and extroverts both benefit from being pushed to be more extroverted.
If an item that you use regularly is giving you frustrations and can be easily replaced. Stop complaining about the frustrations. Replace the item.
History remembers the inventors and business people who got their wares to market first, whether they were ultimately successful or not. Getting your creation out into the world is more important than getting it perfect.
Things that you use for a significant amount of your life are worth investing in. If you spend a third of you life in bed and a quarter of your life sitting n the chair in your office, it is worth paying a little extra for the premium look and feel.
There are proper steeping times for various teas. Green gets 3 minutes, black gets 4 minutes, and herbal gets 5 minutes. Good tea is that simple, and will lead to better moods as you take your tea.
Need a reason to celebrate? We are happy to hit a milestone of 250 consecutive episodes. You can create your ow special day on literally any day you want with a ‘Social Media Birthday.’
Dry skin, thinning hair, and brittle nails are outward manifestations of declining mental health, which will worry you to further declining mental health, and stress you to having more break out of dry skin, thinning hair, and brittle nails.
Making time for exercise is hard, and you can offset lack for movement with a better diet. The problem is a better diet is not that hard. It is kind of dull.
People get hired to do certain jobs or fill certain roles. or at least it should work out that way.
Many of the more compelling examples of success come from people who simply found ways to outlast their competition in the war of attrition, literally the last ones standing who end up getting the spoils.
If you have people who do things for you, whether as an employee, volunteer, or just because, let them know how well they are doing.
Very often, we feel the need to fix a symptom when we should take a step back and try to treat the underlying condition.
'Paying your dues' is a rationalization for the continued hazing of new-ish people. In reality, if you are good enough, you are already good enough and have little need to prove yourself to anyone.
A minor conversation I had with my father almost 40-years-ago about a Broadway play turned into an amazingly simple but powerful lesson on work.
Ask yourself this question and study your answers. You’ll be surprised just how many things don’t seem to function without your assistance.
This is not a trick question. Some people can tune out the world entirely for a while. Many do not.
You may not have the power to magically wish away the bulk of your to-do list, but you can take a few of those things off the list that you know won’t have an immediate chance to complete.
Just in case you needed a reminder of just how special you are, here comes 90 seconds of me repeating one simple message: you are awesome!
Clearing out a stack of mail here, a pile of clothes there, and shuffling a layer of paperwork off your desk can go a long way to help you clear your mind in stressful times. If you do not have time for a deep cleaning, just stop what you are doing and give it a go for 20 minutes.
In conversations with people you do not know well (or do not know at all), try hard to not default to topics you know too well if you are not sure about the knowledge level of the other person.
It is a sad reality that your closest loved ones often view you through a lens that does not reflect reality, therefore, the advice they give to you may not reflect something you can actually implement.
As you are learning new skills, you should not be so hard in judging yourself and not stress out so much about what other people say about your progress.
For me, getting through college Calculus meant taking on a different approach to learning. Getting through college accounting meant taking an even more radical approach.
The guy I taught Calculus had a similar end goal but didn't ultimately make it. That doesn’t mean the time we spent together was not meant to be.
After failing Calculus twice in college, I took on more swing at the class with a new approach: learning fast enough to teach it to another person.
‘The Parable of the Talents,’ a story recorded in the Bible as told by Jesus Christ, is one of the greatest personal development lessons a person can take in, regardless of their stance on faith and Higher Powers.
Humans need the motivation to want to do stuff. And while loved one and certain causes are noble motivators, the best motivation always comes from within.
Over the course of your life, you are going to fail. You are expected to fall. You are supposed to fail. Until you fail (and fail enough), you will not see lasting success.
That journey of a thousand miles cannot begin without taking that first step. But it will help you reach that long destination if you consult a map first.
Too many people try to get most of their 'mentorships' from books and videos. The real lessons you learn, and the surprising amount of lessons you teach, come from live interactions with people, whether titans of industry or interns learning the ropes of the business.
Don't feel bad if it doesn’t come to pass, but you would be surprised how often a person well outside your orbit will do a solid for an average fan.
In reality, there are just two reason for a person to not to the wrong think if they get the opportunity. One is a personal crisis of morals and the other is just the act of self-preservation where they think they’ll get caught.
What is so different about you now that would make you refuse to do something you would have done without question in the past?
As long as the life you live does not interfere with others, it’s up to them to figure out how to get what they want.
You are no good to anyone if you cannot muster the energy to act in a real moment of need.
In an age where we can honestly know and connect with thousands of people, we can only have direct relations with about 100 at any given time. Are you engaging with the proper amount of positive people in that hundred at this moment?
We do not get a chance to 'choose' what sets off triggers in us. So it is important to remember that other people can't choose what you do that may or may not set off triggers in them.
Anything you can see as an obstacle from afar can be planned for and dealt with. Anything you don’t see until you have come upon it tends to be harder to manage in real-time.
If you find yourself in a situation where you can feel panic coming over you, ask yourself these question to get yourself back to a state of peace:
- Will anyone die?
- Will I get fired or lose a relationship?
- Will I have to fire someone or end a relationship as a way to save myself from getting fired or losing a relationship myself?
- Am I still in a panic?
- Why am I still in a panic?
How many times have you made an assumption that you have enough of something based on a quick look to find out you were woefully short? How often do you get a confirmation that another person has enough of something to find they were woefully short?
When you are working hard at overdoing things, you are setting yourself up for getting fewer things done. If you just focus on a few things, you should be able to do those things well or at least get better results from having the ability to focus more on those things.
Being a living example to the life you want to teach others that is possible is the greatest lesson you could ever teach.
Sometimes, the best way to figure out why your message is not resonating with your target audience is to try to deliver it to a hostile audience.
Sunk costs are a dilemma in all aspects of life that should be dealt with, not avoided.
The reason you should never meet your heroes is that you are more likely to be disappointed with the encounter than enthused. Your heroes may seem superhuman, but they are just as human as you are, and just as likely to be frustrated or angry with their own lives.
After a celebratory episode, there is the inevitable let down that is going to come. Actually, you are always a split second away from a letdown occurring just because that how life works. But you can usually prepare yourself for when these episodes happen.
Episode #208 marks the four years of producing and publishing this podcast, and we will rightfully celebrate this milestone. But as discussed in Episode #200 on celebrating milestones, you can take the time to celebrate whenever you feel a need to celebrate.
There are three parts to being successful in delegation work and responsibility. I added a fourth because you really must do this to get your mind right before you really get into delegation.
A headache is a symptom. Pain in your foot is a symptom. A concussion is a condition that can cause a headache but is treatable. A broken toe is a condition that can cause pain in your foot but is treatable.
Sometimes, the first step to a resolution is the only step possible, with no real path to resolution. And you just have to live with it.
The work you put into a thing should always offer a result. Even if it is an unexpected or undesired one.
If the law doesn't regulate it or your potential clients aren't demanding it, you decide...
Superiority can be a disease to those who feel 'called' into service. Having a calling doesn’t make you any better than anyone else. Being on a mission doesn’t give you the right to boss others around.
It's cliché to say there is never enough time, but you really should take the time to tell others what you appreciate about them, assuming you do.
In troubled times, knowing how to reduce living expenses is key to making your way through the issue and manage your stress levels along the way. Even you’re not facing a crisis, but just want to build up a nest egg for yourself, these five tips will help you focus your efforts.
While many podcasts fail to make it past their eighth episode, 'Steps To Your Better You' is publishing its 200th without missing a beat. But not missing those beats does not mean without plenty of struggle and difficulty getting it done every single week for almost 4 years.
The reality is, there is no wrong answer to, 'How are you doing?' Unless your answer is not truthful and you are in real distress.
Why do we celebrate the movie characters who tell the boss to take their job and shove it?
Talent, or lack of talent, is not something that makes you better than anyone else. And if you find yourself lacking in a popular talent, you should look to discover what actual talents you do possess.
You don't have to wait until you reached the pillar of depression to turn your life around.
There are people who have been trying to help you out of a situation. Only their help only seems to make the situation worse. Let them off the hook they may have put themselves on for you.
You need to choose who you let in your life to share the ups and downs. Get a spouse, partner, friend, whatever. Just get someone who is ready to stand in your corner whether you're doing fine or not-so-much.
It is a cliché to say there is not enough time in the day to get everything done, but you can (and should) always make time to show thankfulness and gratitude.
At a television station that ran three shifts for production, the numbers can not lie. But an over-stressed shift leader can.
Christmas is December 25th. Every year, even the leap years. You should not miss a deadline like this. You should not blatantly miss any deadline.
Superiority can be a disease to those who feel 'called' into service. A calling doesn’t make you any better than anyone else. A mission doesn’t give you the right to boss others around.
There is no magic of manifestations. The Law of Attraction is a real working thing, but you've got to put in real work to see the attraction.
Some people will never be ready to see you advance. Leave them behind and let them choose whether or not to hate.
There will be times when you cannot avoid being around or even working closely with a person who is always a jerk to you. This is not the time to show them how much a jerk you can be to them in an attempt to show them the errors of their ways.
Few people have the ability to consistently hold the pace of 'a book a week' reading. But most people have more exposure to quality written prose than they realize.
Being open to being wrong on any issue allows you to manage better conversations, and win more arguments.
The best way to set a good example is to show how hard it really is to set that example. Have more moments where you can show the right way to be and less where all you have are empty platitudes.
A loss of momentum is a guaranteed way to lose on the gains you discovered through hard work. This is especially evident when it comes to physical fitness.
Every question that challenges you is not a test to overcome. Some are just ways to get you into a sales funnel or define your level of loyalty.
Some of the most suspect devils in the world turn out to be some of the most unlikely guardian angels in the end.
You will learn that the best time to overproduce and the best time to over present is when you are getting started. Your quality will only improve as you offer more quantify.
It sounds exciting and a little dangerous. It is oversold advice that is not sound. You don't have to have a great plan, but you must have some sort of plan.
Don’t let lack of fame keep you from speaking your mind. Someone needs to hear it more than you know. And you may never know the real impact.
Whether you are looking for a new romantic relationship or just a stable business opportunity, make sure that a potential partner is not really a project you don’t have the power to maintain.
It's fine to want to be a member of the ‘It’ crowd, but you have to be sure that you want to bear the burden of membership. In most cases, people not initially in the ‘It’ crowd are always mentally meshed with those that are.
Mortality will eventually stake its claim on you. Assuming your days aren’t currently numbered, what are you doing to enjoy the miracle that is your life in this moment.
You don't have to necessarily regard them as friends, but if you are in a conversation with no reason to be hostile, don't be hostile.
I'm upgrading a common saying. I still believe that the ordeals you survive are stories you need to share. I'm just acknowledging that some stories aren't being told because of lack of survivors. But there are plenty of witnesses.
Complaining achieves little in the grand scheme of things. Try not to be a complainer unless you have a real complaint that needs attention.
If you don’t know something works, admit it. If you do and pretend not to, you are setting up embarrassment for you and everyone involved.
With maturity should comes the wisdom to know better. But pure age just brings the not rational though of the number being the authority to do things. Mostly unwise things.
Everyone you think should be on board for your success may not have the resources to give that you want from them. Don't discount the resources they are giving.
Anything that is actually possible can possibly be repeated under the right conditions, hopefully on command. This is a great thing for those who doubt their particular talents and skills.
Effective communication is really about effectively eliminating details that are unnecessary to the listener, even if the storyteller is proud of the added content.
Released on the eve of American Independence Day in 2019, this is a quick reminder of the payments made in the form of sacrifices that past provided for you to enjoy the freedom and independence of today. And a suggestion that you think about the sacrifices you could make to ensure those who come behind you can have the same or better.
I made some serious attempts at culinary art and spectacularly failed. These failures are things I could easily rebound from and show how capable I will be in the future if I need to rebound from more serious even.
I use stories from my life to display what I have overcome in my life and how I can help you overcome obstacles in yours. These stories are not for gratuitous viewing or shameless promotion.
The actual definition of the word someday is 'at some future time.' Therefore you can never get to someday. But you will always have today and right now.
I recently faced a challenge that threw off my life and my business. But because I have been going through these motions for a while, I didn't skip too many beats in the process of moving forward.
You don't need the full checklist for most things people will do for you, and you should not have to present a full checklist to offer people for what you are going to do for them.
People have a false belief that those they aspire to be like can offer them the advice they need within a random casual conversation.
Find more at http://yourbetteryou.info/podcasts
Having a complete set of blueprints for your dream house does you no good if there is no house built to give you shelter from an upcoming storm. Having a general idea of how to put a plan in place for any goal you would like to achieve is just as useless.
Clutter is extremely stress-inducing and extremely hard to battle for most of too busy focused on the day to day battle of getting through life. The step in the right direction is not a deep cleaning of your entire space, but just taking time to organize the essential items on your desk.
Acquired knowledge needs to be shared, and the best way to test the mastery of your acquired knowledge is to test your ability to teach it to others.
Your body is built to survive for a set amount of time. It knows how to progress from progression to maturity, and then toward decline at the end of its intended usefulness. We may be able to slow down the process, but the process of eventual declaim cannot be stopped.
Being low on fuel in your vehicle does no negate your need to reach your destination. Being low on physical or mental energy does not negate your need to keep pushing toward your goal.
We've finally reached the milestone of 150 consecutive weeks of publishing 'Steps To Your Better You.' And we're going to celebrate that achievement . . . later. Today, its all about celebrating you, the listeners and subscribers to the podcast.
Milestones are arbitrarily and sometimes artificial determiners of success. Sometimes just living to fight another day is the best gauge of success. Luckily, you are the one who gets to determine whether or not your efforts are a true success.
Complaints never bring resolutions to a problem by themselves, but sometimes a problem you have in not necessarily a problem for you to fix. How you properly deal with a problem is often complicated, but complaining never helps.
In reality, getting past real or perceived wrongs is not a matter of short term memory. It is just a matter of not getting sucked into dwelling on the past situation.
The classic statement from Luke 12:48 gets lorded over people for various reasons. But there is a fundamental truth that many fail to understand as they try to live a life of neutrality. There is a real impact of winning or losing the birth lottery.
If someone isn’t living up to your perceived level of their standard, but they are not a burden to anyone, why do you have a problem? If someone else isn’t happy with you not living up to their perceived level of standard for you, and you are not a burden to anyone, why should you care if they have a problem?
Your reasoning behind your actions doesn’t have to be a good one and doesn’t have to be a reason anyone else would agree with. But you know what your reasoning is. This is the why that motivates you, and if it does not match up with the image you say you want to portray, you have a choice to make.
You may not be a famous person known for being a jerk to your fans, but you may be known as being a jerk to your friends and co-workers. Don’t be.
Why has it been such a personal struggle to get from Episode #140 to Episode #150? Because of a lack of focus on the real target, and too much distraction on what comes next and what else we could be doing now.
People tend to believe I know everything, but even I am not arrogant enough to think I can remember everything. But I can fake it by taking great notes and keeping them well organized.
Whatever you love will at some point become a pain to cont inue as it is. Take a break so that you can learn to love it again from a fresh perspective.
You don't want to air all dirty laundry. You do want to let people know what is real and what is not about your life.
Having a sphere of influence where the ideas are totally homogeneous gets pretty dull pretty quickly.
Technology is offering newly refreshed experiences for old formats, but most of these experiences aren’t exactly new.
Even with the best of intentions, we all offer a net-negative to the hard work of someone out there. You should find out who that person is, and determine if it should be your role to fix it.
At 135 episode, I am able to quickly take an idea and turning it around into an audio file waiting for release as a podcast. But it took all the work from the trials of episode #0 to the review of episode #134 to make the process of producing 135 seem so seamless and smooth.
You may want to collect trophies and memorabilia to help you remember key victories and moments. But those physical things contain no magic from the even they memorialize.
Your brand distinguishes you from all the other ‘things’ in the world but is only as good as you actually are in delivering what you promise.
If you get the urge to share a story right now before it loses its power, you may not have a story compelling enough to spread effectively.
There is never a perfect time for anything. Choose a time to make that massive action, and do whatever is needed to hit that deadline.
Do you have it in you to believe you are the right person for the opportunity you are asking for?
It's always great to have a reminder that your actions, regardless how small, make a difference.
As grim as it may sound, there is a great deal of wisdom to be found in the observations of other’s misfortunes.
If clichéd wisdom is mostly simple truth most people should know well, why don’t most people take the effort to follow it?
Just yielding a harvest does not make a successful farm. Know how much output you are supposed to have when the work is done.
Being a hoarder is not okay, but holding on to things that have great meaning to you that make you question the space you give them is perfectly fine.
The instruction to put your oxygen mask on first is not about being selfish. It’s about taking care of yourself first so that you have the ability to assist others.
Just because a person hates your product, doesn’t mean they hate you and all you personally stand for.
A price tag is not the best gauge of an item’s value. The utility it provides offers a better perspective of worth.
Are you making a mess of a situation that would be fine if you left it well enough alone?
You need people willing to make sacrifices in order to support your mission. How willing are you to make similar sacrifices for those who take up that challenge? A lead in for this week's Ten Minute Life Lesson podcast.
Accept the false apology, and move on your life. Don't let the bitterness that lives in their hearts infect yours.
Whether you always seem to be within reach of a new opportunity, or your opportunities are lacking, you should periodically evaluate exactly how lucrative your opportunities are.
When only you can do the work on a massive task to get the job done, don't try to tackle it all at once. Pace yourself, and your expectations of a job well done.
There is a caveat to my 'you already have the answers' theory that becomes painfully apparent when you find yourself out possibilities. Here is what you do in these scenarios.
One of my earliest forays into personal development was an email newsletter. The simple tenant it tried to prove, you already have the answers you need inside of you, as long as you are asking the right questions.
Those shiny reminders of past times can become unexpected anchors to a past life that you need to move on from. Clear the clutter and put away the old trophies.
Sheer will and determination can topple just about any obstacle. But some obstacles are not worth the massive effort needed to attempt to topple.
I talk often about the people who need to be left behind in order for you to make progress. It's time for you to take that message to heart.
Save yourself the trouble of making an excuse and save them the larger disappointment. Don't agree to something you have no intention of fulfilling.
Next time you are in the act of committing some wrong towards a person, do not make an effort to stop and apologize. Just right the wrong on the spot.
It is easy for us to get so wrapped up in our frustrations that it becomes easy to point a finger at the source of your distress. Except they may not be the true source of your distress.
Never try to excuse your faults as 'keeping it real,' but don't totally discount their role in influencing your strengths and balancing out your personality.
You will never have a perfect time and rarely a good time to act. But the opportune time is whenever you have the energy and capacity to work a task.
Five weeks after the end of the Ten Minute Life Coach podcast, I see the potential of this podcast to extend its legacy.
People who are not attached to how others feel about them find a powerful sense of freedom when working with all types of people.
Even if you have a great support system, stay on the hunt for more people to help maintain that system.
The images we view in social media can damage self esteem, and the data collect by the companies can damage our lives.
As hard as it is to ask for assistance, getting it from other depends on your ability to navigate the real schedules of others.
Episode 100 marks 1.92 years of weekly producing this podcast. Here is why it will likely survive to 200 while past efforts did not.
Just like it is unfair to project the accomplishments of others onto your first steps, don't try to put a common base on the triggers they use to stay motivate to yours.
Smart phone technology and social media companies have made it hard to escape the curated view of the perfect life. No person in reality comes close to living out the life displayed in their feed.
Your personal development work may seem like a chore and a bore to some around you. Its still important to drop a few details their way every so often.
In my work, I get to work with a a healthy amount people who seem pretty full of themselves. I allow them to live that out as their reality, except in extreme circumstances.
I learned a lesson regarding how my content was being used by real people versus how I intended it to be used.
You can not win a war by attacking an army you are not at war with. You have to do battle with the real enemy.
There is a reason why you are not seeing success that you are too willing to share with the world. What is your secret fear on why it is not working?
Having a large following is awesome, but there is still a lot of progress that can be made and fun to be had with a much more intimate crowd.
A short, sweet, and simple line of text directed to that person you care about really can show how much you care.
If you're on the move toward upgraded living, there will be more than a few sacrifices needed to get there.
The advice our grandmothers gave us that came straight from the Bible? Maybe no truer truth has ever been told.
I am glad the fad of master gurus telling the world it needs more nap time is dying. The best way to get proper rest is simply to go to bed a little earlier and wake up a little later.
Most of this stuff doesn't take a genius to figure out. That doesn't mean it will be so easy to implement.
There might be a substantial financial charge to pay for your upgrade, but the price most find to steep is the need to leave certain things--or certain ones--behind.
You will go through periods where you are angry that no one seems to understand your struggles. You need to remember you do not know many of the struggles of others around you.
Don't get to hung up on criticism of your body of work from a person who hasn't taken the first step to start theirs.
There is no need to write million dollar checks for expenses that don't exist, but don't let current lack of progress keep you from being ready for the first big break.
It is okay to not want to rise to audacious heights. It is not okay to sabotage the advancement of others to keep them on your level.
You might be surprised at your ability to build grand structures from the discarded scraps of finished projects. More Information @ http://yourbetteryou.info
Lawyers deal with time in quarter hours and every quarter hour gets billed to someone. Lawyers seem to be successful, so there may be something to this process. More Information @ http://yourbetteryou.info
Just like you should plan out what activities you should do to ensure success, you should not the things you should not do to hamper that success. More Information @ http://yourbetteryou.info
The motivations behind your work and another's on a common project may not be shared. That is not a bad thing.
The key to fixing a problem with an out of control mouth is to admit the problem is yours, not theirs.
We take another break from fresh content to celebrate getting this far, and boost our own egos in the process.
We make fun of people forced to pay a 'stupid tax,' but there really is an adverse cost from not having proper knowledge.
Their best interest should not be the main motivation for giving you a hand, but it does make it easier for them to buy in.
Know what the number you use to plot your course really mean, and how misinterpretation can steer you off course.
You may find yourself forced to choose what is really important when you begin to completely deplete your energy and abilities.
Don't take a full turn to the dark side, but embracing your personal green-eyed monster can be a great source of gain with little loss to others.
As you enforce boundaries on others to keep their craziness from overtaking your schedule, you should respect the boundaries others attempt to enforce on you.
The silly images born of text based characters are serious and sophisticated tools for real communication.
Science backs the idea that in 90 seconds you can change your emotional state by allowing yourself to change your emotional state.
Market saturation is an issue to contend with, but it is rarely an issue to blame for killing a dream.
You can only jettison so much 'dead weight' before you put yourself in a worse position.
A trick I use to help me become familiar with strangers also helps me learn more about the stranger that is myself.
When your world gets fuzzy, it is important to have enough state of mind to recognize when you have clarity.
It is okay to give up on a book, movie, or TV show as soon as you realize it offers no value.
Being content with your current state is great as long as you don't dismiss the potential heights you have yet to achieve.
As momentum and novelty begins to fade, you may lose motivation for long-standing projects.
How others introduce you to new people is a direct reflection of your standing in their eyes, and vice versa.
When relationships begin to break down, be careful of the statements you could make on the way out.
With just under a year into this project, here is a quick rundown of what I have learned.
Even if you have trouble targeting who is listening, make sure someone can hear your message.
Those that say they are willing often find themselves unable after the first few steps.
Faulty math with ruin any attempt at scheduling in your personal and profession improvement efforts.
A view into the diaries of Heinrich Himmler show just how cruel a person who accepts evil as acceptable can be.
If you are ready to get started with your personal improvement journey for 2017, we offer up a simple five step start up to get you going.
The lyrics to Foreigner's 'I Want To Know What Love Is' sets the message of patience on your journey to greatness.
You should always have an idea on how you will mentality react and accept a serious setback.
Just as you can warp negatives into positives, others can perceive the reality that works for them.
Even a storyteller trying to be motivational will let drop a few facts for the sake of a good story.
Your projects, presentations, and actual babies may not be a cute as you think they are.
A smile is a simple tool that has an amazing effect in changing the attitudes of others.
Weak links in the chain that is your life have a habit of failing at the most inappropriate times.
Every failure and misstep offers up a few lessons learned to help you eventually find your way to success.