The Wargames Orchard: Recent Episodes
wargamesorchard
A podcast dedicated to exploring Warhammer in a whole new way! We dive into the lore, rules, armies, and units from 1st to 8th edition Fantasy! You’ll also find a bit of news, hobby talk, and silly games inside. The perfect podcast to accompany your hobby!
I've got good news, and bad news, which may turn out to be good news as well. This will be the final Wargames Orchard episode for the foreseeable future. Because of practical reasons to do with time zones and dependence, GJ is going rogue! The Warhammer Fantasy through the editions reviews will get their very own podcast titled Forces of Fantasy (so go check it out as well!). But a promise is a promise, and I did promise you to discuss the Old World reveals from Warhammer Fest. I can't very well leave all my Orchard fans hanging, now can I...?
Watch the Old World reveal here:
https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1807651323?filter=archives&sort=time
What do you do when you don't have time to prepare an actual episode? Record a few random ramblings when painting and slap a title on it, of course! If you're looking for a more professional approach, you might think of this as an official Wargames Orchard news and hobby update. But if you were looking for a more professional approach, you probably wouldn't look over here. Either way, enjoy the episode and look forward to the next update where we (hopefully) get to share some Old World news.
Whether you are over the moon that the old Bretonnia plastic kits are coming back, or ready to burn your miniatures (again) because the base sizes are increasing, we can all agree on one thing: Warhammer 1st edition is its whole own level of awesomeness! This episode we take a look at three 1983 White Dwarf articles: a review, a scenario and rules for Giants that are suspiciously similar to the rules for Giants in later editions, just proving the craftsmanship and/or foresight of a mr. Rick Priestley.
GJ continues his journey to the beginning of time - or at least the beginning of Warhammer Fantasy - with a look at the role-playing elements of the game found in the 2nd and 3rd volume of the First Edition box set: Magic and Characters. Although perhaps that should have been Characters and Magic. Ah well, what's in a number?
It has begun! The die is cast! The Rubicon is crossed! There is no turning back! Get ready for a journey through 8 editions of Warhammer Fantasy Battles, starting this episode with the very first book of the very first edition, in which GJ gives an overview of how the game is played. Oh, yeah, and there was also some new stuff, but who cares? Well, grumpy GJ, a bit. But the old stuff was way better anyway, so let's focus on that.
GJ has got new toys: 3d printers! Since he is now an expert (cough, cough), he'll tell you all about it while painting some Minotaurs. Yes, it's that time of the week again where, mostly due to life happening, there was no time to prepare for an actual episode. But we'll make up for it next week. Or the week after that. Or maybe some other point in the future. Hopefully. Anyway, enjoy GJ's semi-random 3d printer ramblings!
We've got Old World news! And it seems very difficult at this time for GW to please us, because Grumpy GJ makes a special appearance today. To lighten the mood, we'll look at some big friendly Giants for the Dogs of War, as well as a big, rather unfriendly Dragon for the same faction. These big baddies, sadly, turn into big worsies in 6th edition. Still they have many uses, not the least of which is as their own template.
There is one Warhammer kit you can't live without as an Empire player: the Militia set. Want to make Free Companies? Militia set! Archers? Crossbowmen? Militia Set! Zombie Pirates? Warriors of Ulric? Militia set! Going to Mordheim? Don't forget to pack your coat... and your Militia set! Join GJ as he explores the rules, models, and options of - can you guess it? - the Militia set.
If there's one book the creators of Warhammer haven't drawn inspiration from, it's the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. On its cover are the words "Don't Panic" in large, friendly letters. But any Warhammer unit (well, except for those nasty immune to psychology guys) can, and most likely will, panic and flee. Join GJ on a journey from 1st edition Morale tests, to Oldhammer era Cool tests, to the panic tests we all know and dread. So don't panic. But if you do, prepare to be pursued.
Nathan breaks down the latest Warhammer: The Old World dev diary on the Tomb Kings and speculates on some important information within! As a bonus, he's not even grumpy about this article!
Some episodes are meticulously planned and written. This is not one of them. Join GJ as he discusses the newest Fantasy related releases from Games Workshop and just talks hobby. How to make an army list that will lose you the battle? GJ knows. How to keep making the same mistake when modelling? GJ knows! How to make lots of money without having to work? GJ doesn't know (but is certainly curious to know if you do...).
Imagine you are one (or two) of the most powerful, most favoured Daemons in the Realm of Chaos. Mortals tremble at the very sound of your name. You are second only to your dark god. The Warhammer World is at the tips of your fingers (or claws, or wings). And then... sixth edition happens and you're all forgotten. Not a very nice prospect, but it is what happened to Amon 'Chakai and Azazel, two Daemon warlords that were only playable in 5th edition, that incidentally both had their ways of targeting enemy characters. We had to let them go after 5th edition, but the better question is: will they let you go? (Hint: they won't, and neither will the Bohemian Rhapsody earworm that's either been bothering you since you read the podcast title or will be bothering you now that you've gone and read the title again).
Nathan and GJ get together for a grab bag episode featuring Nathan's holiday disaster, a new Warhammer the Old World article, hobby new years resolutions, and some sneaky Beastmen Talk.
Due to technical difficulties Nathan's audio was captured through the wrong microphone. We apologize for the lower quality of the recording. (GJ still sounds great though!)
A major philosophical question is not how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, but how many Skinks you can fit onto your Stegadon. Join GJ as he explores these and other pressing matters (or, to use the technical term, ramblings) while talking about the evolution of the Stegadon from 5th-8th edition.
The siege of Praag is one of the most dramatic events of the Great War against Chaos. The horrors unleashed upon the people of the city gave the citizens of the Old World a glimpse as to what awaited them should armies of Chaos stand victorious.
This week enjoy three selected tales from siege of Praag. Each one told from the perspective of a citizen of that doomed city!
Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays from the Wargames Orchard!
Warhammer is known to have a few monsters here and there. If you think hard you could probably picture one or two. Here at the Orchard we think there's room for more monsters! This week we're going to look at some classic monsters that are sadly absent from Warhammer Fantasy and see where we can find them a place in the Old World and beyond!
We mention Hayland games in the episode, they make a great line of monster / horror minis
www.haylandgames.com
Join us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/wargamesorchard
A slightly grumpy GJ is reconsidering his faith and so there is only one logical conclusion: talk about the White Dwarf. Because if you look really hard, squint with both eyes and cover one of them with a fancy eyepatch just like Gotrek's, there is a very definite sort-of link between Grombrindal and Christmas. A deep dive, not through the army books, but through Grombrindal's namesake magazine, scouring obscure pdfs for rules that don't change too much after Herohammer. But then again, they were pretty far out there in the Herohammer era. Oh, and one final warning: only listen to this episode with your opponent's permission. We have to mention that almost every single time, especially when you get three legendary lords for the price of one, which is also the price of one thousand points.
Come join our Facebook group, the Warhammer Orchard! You can find us on Facebook (Wargames Orchard), Patreon (patreon.com/wargamesorchard) and Instagram (@wargamesorchard). Or you can reach us by email via wargamesorchard[at]gmail[dot]com.
There's a slew of new stuff from Games Workshop, so Nathan and GJ are pretty sure it can all work for Warhammer Fantasy. Join us for a breakdown of the new models and Battleforces that Fantasy fans can use to bolster their forces. Also GJ has an fun announcement for our Patreon members!
It's the return of Nathan, we don't remember him, but he insists he used to host this show. This week we catch up on some hobby talk, including Army Painter's Speed Paints. Then that Nathan guy gets grumpy about the last Old World update, finally we finish with Man O' War!
Join GJ as he delves (or gores, or gauges, or slashes) deeply into the history of the mighty Minotaurs, both in Warhammer Fantasy and the original iteration hidden away below the palace of king Minos on Crete. Is there truth to the legend? We sure hope so! But not so much if the Minotaurs take on the Bloodgreed trait. Because in Old World, beef eat you.
Come join our Facebook group, the Warhammer Orchard!
You can find us on: Facebook: Wargames Orchard Patron: Patreon.com/wargamesorchard Instagram: @wargamesorchard Email: wargamesorchard[at]gmail[dot]com
Happy Halloween! Or not, if you happen to run into a 3rd edition intelligent Dire Wolf. Fortunately they are rare and disappear when the sun comes up. Not so the later iterations, which are very much no longer dead anymore and may or may not hit harder or more often on the charge. If you want to cuddle with your own Dire Wolf pack, all you need to do is become a Vampire and summon them. Or raise them. But only if you're a Von Carstein Vamp. Or not. Who'd have thought the unlife of a Dire Wolf was so confusing...?
Join GJ on a paint ramble - although this one is a lot more structured than the last one! Topic of discussion is the scenarios for the upcoming 5th edition campaign on the first ever Dutch Oldhammer Con this weekend. Prepare for drunken Giants, wild magicks, and Skink-infested jungles. All of this in order to (randomly) decide who goes home with the main prize: the Tankard of Tastiness!
Ladies and gentlemen, Goblins of all ages, we finally have some Old World news. Well, Old World concept art. But one of those is a lovely Tomb Kings chariot which inspired GJ to take a deep dive into the chariots of the Undead and Tomb Kings, whether they are made of bone, wood, or reanimated manticores. So grease your axles, harness your skeletal horses and sharpen your scythes: The Tomb Kings ride to war!
Are you ready to dip your toes, or hooves, which may or may not turn into kangaroo legs, into the Realm of Chaos? As if organizing and participating in a painting challenge isn't enough, GJ wants to model up a Beastman hero with a bunch of random gifts and attributes taken straight out of the beloved third edition books. Because we need to do something to pass the time, waiting for Old World news, don't we...?
They are the biggest, the best, the brawliest and the most well-traveled Ogres: Maneaters! Join GJ as he looks at the Ogre Maneaters in all their various (ahem) iterations, as well as the long and rich history of Mr. Maneater himself: Golgfag. Or Golfag, depending on... reasons, maybe? Empty your purses for this episode, because these Ogres will fight for the right price. Or the right kind of food. Ah, who am I kidding? Any kind of food. Dig in!
This week we take a look at the stories, histories, myths and legends on which everyone's favourite noble nation of Knights is based. Much of the general aspects of Bretonnia are derived from the legends of King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table. Some parts of these legends have been ported over into the world of Warhammer, though oftentimes, with a twist. Join GJ on this deep dive into Arthurian legend. Take out your copy of the Bretonnian Army Book and Thomas Malory's Le Morte D'Arthur (The Death of Arthur). Spoiler warning: Arthur dies. Or does he...?
We made it to one hundred episodes! That seems like a lot. To celebrate the accomplishment, Nathan and GJ get together and wax nostalgically about one of the greatest Warhammer video games of all time: Dark Omen. It's a wonderfully realized journey into the Old World with the Grudgebringer mercenary company as they (yet again) save the Empire whilst turning a tidy profit.
Check out the community keeping Dark Omen Alive: http://en.dark-omen.org/
Our Patreon: www.patreon.com/wargamesorchard
It was bound to happen. Nathan was left on his own and now we have a whole episode dedicated to his love / hate relationship with Dark Elf Cold One Knights. At least he spends most of the episode charting the evolution of these lizard riding elves from 3rd to 8th edition Warhammer Fantasy. There is definitely a rant or two included, but Nathan assures us he rants because he loves (yeah, we don't believe him either). We hope you enjoy this passionate breakdown of an iconic Warhammer unit.
Check us out on Patreon: patreon.com/wargamesorchard
Bad things happen in the Warhammer World. Sometimes your family gets eaten by Orcs, or Beastmen, or Ogres. Maybe instead they were stolen away by pale faced nobles in the night, or carried off by giant rat-men that no one believes actually exist. Whatever horrible fate befell your loved ones probably left you in quite a state. Perhaps consider joining your local band of Flagellants!
Flagellants are the doom sayers that have been prophesying the end of the Warhammer world since third edition (ignore the one time they were actually right) and they have a ton of unique and weird rules to show for it. Join us for a in depth look at these madmen from 3rd-8th edition Warhammer Fantasy!
We also have a new bonus episode on Patreon. The second in a series of holistic herohammer army book reviews. This week the Dwarfs! Check it out here : patreon.com/wargamesorchard
Do you hear that, in the distance? Is it thunder? Is it Grom the Paunch racing his chariot over the cobbled streets of Nuln? No, it's the explosive conclusion of our two part deep dive into the gunpowder powered section of the Imperial armoury. Join GJ as he takes a look at the rules for gunpowder artillery through the ages - or more accurately - from 3rd to 8th edition. Will this episode be a hit or a mis(fire)? Just give it it a shot (or nine)!
Join GJ as he explores the history of Nuln, a city renowned for its engineers and gunpowder contraptions in the first of this two-part episode on Empire gunpowder weapons. From the short-lived (both literally and figuratively) Nipponese grenades of 3rd edition to the famed and feared Hochland Long Rifle, if you can lift it and it says "BANG!", we'll discuss it in this episode.
Have you ever thought: "I love those 5th edition campaign packs but I don't play 5th? Why are they not also playable in 6th?" If that's you, then look no further than this episode. GJ interviews friend of the show Andreas from Germany who will tell you all about the 6th edition based, fan-made Warhammer CE edition and his effort to update the campaign packs for Warhammer CE. And for those of you who want to check out what Warhammer CE is all about: http://armycreator.de/index.php#downloads
Join GJ as he takes a deep-dive into the lore and evolution of the most useless - er - most noble of all the High Elves, the Phoenix Guard. From the fearsomely silly reason for causing fear to the actual Phoenixes of 8th edition - that don't really need guarding - to the special and not-so-special Phoenix Guard characters, this episode will tell you all the things the Phoenix Guard themselves won't.
It's time to choose! This week Nathan is put through the wringer as he's got to make tough choices between some of his favourite Warhammer factions, gods, vampires, and more. You can play along at home, but make sure you don't get any of these totally subjective questions wrong!
In this finale of our look at the legendary boxed campaigns of 5th Edition Warhammer Fantasy, GJ takes you to Ulthuan to share a story about two brothers who want nothing more than to murder each other.
The High Elves and Dark Elves clash in a tale of treachery, violence, and envy that tears a noble family apart. Or as the Elves of Warhammer would call it: A normal Tuesday.
Apparently people who love Warhammer Fantasy also love Lord of the Rings! Who would have guessed that? Nathan and GJ sure love them both, and on this episode they talk about the good and bad of the LoTR influence on Warhammer, what things they might steal from LoTR to add to Warhammer, and which of the settings is their favourite. Join us for a two legendary Fantasy settings, all in one podcast!
Also Nathan forgot his adapter at work and had to use his MacBook microphone. Sorry if he sounds a little odd.
Join GJ for an evening paint session In this experimental bonus episode. Settle in and paint some models of your own while GJ talks you through his High Elf project and whatever else comes to mind!
Apologies for the audio on this episode, there were some issues with the recording. Please imagine that GJ is talking to you from inside a deep sea submarine and it'll sound just right!
Gather round young Liches, Grand Hierophant GJ is here to relate the great history of Tomb King Magic from 4th Edition all the way up to the End Times. It's time to unearth a few of Warhammer Fantasy's lesser known magical lores. Chart the great magics of the undying dynasties, Starting with their time as part of the unified Undead, then as a fully formed faction, and then back to part of the reunified Undead because time is a flat circle.
Get ready for a Perilous Quest as GJ takes you on a tour of this gallant Warhammer Fantasy campaign. Get ready for tournaments, sneaky elves, and a lot of chivalry. Seriously, a lot of chivalry. You've been warned. it's not our fault if you get caught up in the story and immediately ride off on a quest for the grail. Don't put that on us. (Unless you find it, in which case remember who inspired you!)
Anyway, enjoy Perilous Quest, Starring Bretonnians, Wood Elves, and a magic cup!
Nathan and GJ are back together this week to bring you serious Warhammer talk. Would Sauron survive the Warhammer World? Is Athel Loren scarier than the Chaos Wastes? Can you wrap yourself in toilet paper and call it a Settra cosplay? These questions and more answered in this enlightening episode!
We start off this week's episode talking about some changes coming to the Wargames Orchard. Then it's on to a Review of Kings Of War, the game of fantasy battles. Hmm, that last bit sounds a bit familiar... How does Kings of War feel to a life long Warhammer Fantasy player? Tune in to find out!
The Red Duke has risen, and with him come a legion of the restless dead! Only the brave knights of Bretonnia can hope to challenge this wicked vampire and return peace to the land.
GJ's back to break down Circle of Blood. One of the wonderful boxed campaigns from 5th edition. Learn all about the scenarios and lore as the Vampiric Red Duke and his undead servants cause mayhem in land of chivalry.
Beastlord Khazrak may only have one eye, but that doesn't stop him from raising War-hounds, and raising hell. With a magic whip and a hoard of beasts at his back, he'll take back the Drakwald for the true children of chaos!
Join us as we look at Khazrak One Eye from 5th-7th edition.
What can the new Horus Heresy release tell us about GW's approach to Warhammer? Nathan think's there's good and bad omens afoot in GW's latest game revamp. Plus join us for two stories about servants of the Chaos gods as they get up to mischief and mayhem!
We've always liked Gork! He's big, mean, and green, and that's everything you could ask from an Orc God! You could maybe say that we idolize him...
GJ is back with another deep dive into the glorious boxed campaigns of Warhammer Fantasy! This week it's Idol of Gork, where the forces of the Empire clash with the Orcs and Goblins!
When editions change in Warhammer, some units are sadly left behind. We say no more! In this episode we update some lost units from 3rd-5th edition to fit in with the later eras of Warhammer Fantasy. It's time to bring back our Mummies, Whelp Masters, and Sneaky Gits!
Nathan's recently discovered how much he likes birds! In light of this important news, we now bring you the History of Wood Elf Warhawk Riders! From their odd spiritual predecessors in 3rd, all the way to their armour piercing, killing blow glory days of 8th. We look at a unit that was markedly unique in every era of Warhammer!
Goblins. Yeah! Goblins! But with crazy mutations, and weird magic swords, and maybe one of them is sort of a robot...
We've ventured back into the 3rd edition Realm of Chaos books to build Gary, The Goblin Champion of Chaos, and his all goblin retinue of Terry, Barry, and Larry. This time the gods / dice are very generous, and we end up with what might be the weirdest warband in the wastes.
Oh and try not to stare at Larry's head, he's very self conscious about it.
It's two episodes for the price of one this week! Join GJ as he introduces you to the legendary boxed campaigns of 5th edition. Their names alone can send hobbyists into fits of nostalgic bliss: Grudge of Drong, Idol of Gork, Perilous Quest, Tears of Isha and Circle of Blood.
GJ then explores the lore and rules of Grudge of Drong. The Dwarfs and High Elves clash in four epic battles, in tale of love, taxes, and plenty of grudges.
Warhammer Art has gone through several styles and re-imaginings throughout the eras. The Cartoony brilliance of the Herohammer era, the grim dark of 6th, and the brooding colours of 8th all contribute to the look and feel of the Warhammer world. This week we're having some fun discussing the art of Warhammer, and choosing the best Army Book covers of each era.
The Assassins of the Dark Elves have been terrorizing the Warhammer World in the name of Khaine since 3rd Edition. These blood drenched killers always pop up where they're least expected, and there's probably one right behind you. If there isn't, then listen to this episode where we uncover the dark lore and rules behind the (arguably) most deadly Assassins in the Warhammer World!
We've scoured the Army Books of Warhammer to bring you some of the coolest regiments to never exist. They have no lore and no rules, they only exist as names on paper. On this episode we're going to bring them to life, and into the lore of the Warhammer World. If you're looking for inspiration for a Regiment of Renown or a new hobby project, then this is the show for you!
Konrad Von Carstein may not have been the smartest or most cunning of the Von Carstein bloodline... And there was that one time he tried to take over the Empire by re-enacting Weekend at Bernie's... Oh and that other time he bricked up his mother in a tower for the crime of giving birth to him... Look, I guess what I'm trying to say is Konrad led a very interesting un-life, and we're gonna talk about him in this episode!
We can all get a little carried away sometimes. Though most of us don't yell at trees, slaughter Halflings, or plan battle strategies with our horses. Most of us are not Marius Leitdorf. This episode we look at the Mad Count of Averland from 4th-8th Edition, and check out some of the strangest lore in the Empire's history.
Well we've got another Warhammer: The Old World map segment to discuss. This time it's Grand Cathay! It leads us to ask the question: Just how big is this game going to be?
In our second segment we discuss the mounts of the Warhammer World. Everything from the basic Warhorse to the much maligned (by Nathan) Cold Ones! We end off the episode with a quiz. Test your knowledge on the beasts of burden of Warhammer!
Dwarfs vs Skaven, a classic Warhammer grudge match! Speaking of grudges, come share a classic tale of vicious battle fought in the depths of Karaz-a-Karak from the point of view of High King Thorgrim Grudgebearer. Get ready to get grumbly as the Dwarfs march to war!
The conflict between the High Elves and Dark Elves is one of the greatest dramas in the history of Warhammer. Today we're sharing three great stories of from the Elven conflict. Prince Tyrion Defends the Griffon Gate, Malekith takes Anlec, and the struggle for an artifact takes place again and again.
We've got a two part discussion on this week's episode! Firstly, how much Warhammer is too much Warhammer? When does collecting become hoarding? Nathan's feeling a bit guilty about the amount of miniatures filling up his space. Is he bad person? Then we shift gears to answer the age old question: What's the best way to represent the forces of Chaos on the tabletop? Do you prefer the motley hordes of Oldhammer, or the well organized world enders of later eras? The forces of Chaos have certainly become more streamlined and uniform over the years. Is it time to make Chaos weird again?
The ultimate reward that the gods of Chaos can grant their servants is ascension to daemonhood. As it turns out, we can do that too! Inspired by the Total War Warhammer Daemon Prince reveal, we're going back to the Realm of Chaos books to make our own Daemon lord. Warning: As with all our build-a-character experiments, things get weird fast!
This episode also features a lovely story from 6th edition about a Daemon Prince lending a helping claw to his descendants.
Victory for a reasonable price! This week we're looking at two legendary mercenary regiments from 5th and 6th edition Warhammer Fantasy. First is Voland's Venators, a bunch of rowdy drunks who are the greatest cavalry in the Old World (at least they seem to think so)! Then Al Muktar's Desert Dogs, wild raiders from Araby who's leader is the Chosen One (at least that's what he claims)!
Very special guest Johannes from The Flail of Skulls podcast joins us this week! He's giving us the lowdown on the competitive mindset, the mechanics of 5th edition, and how The Flail of Skulls is fixing up Warhammer 5th Ed to create a more balanced experience. The math-hammer is strong with this one!
It's 2022, here we go again! We're creating new themed armies for Warhammer Fantasy. GJ has come up with a pair of devilish new factions for the forces of Chaos and Undeath. Meanwhile it's all Unicorns and rainbows for Nathan.
Gather round the fireplace, or hobby table, and listen as Nathan relays the tale of Thibault, a brave Knight Errant on a quest to find his lost brother. It's a tale packed with action, comedy, drama, ghosts, and monsters! The perfect story for a winter's eve in the Old World.
Happy Holidays from the Wargames Orchard!
We've been really good all year! Honest! Since we've been so well behaved it's only fair that we get everything on our Warhammer Wishlist. Things like getting a hold of the 4th edition Nagash model, seeing real progress on Warhammer: The Old World, and actually having time to play games. Maybe we're asking for a lot...
Join Nathan and GJ for a nice chat about what they want out of the hobby year ahead.
PS. We had some connection problems in the recording, sorry for the issues with GJ's audio.
Do you have Elves on your shelves? If so, which Elves (Witch Elves?) get to make the journey down to the table top? And which are doomed to languish in layers of dust? This week we're looking at the regiments from all three Elf factions across 5th, 6th, and 8th Edition, to determine which should be brought to battle, and which get to hang out and collect cobwebs alongside those terrible Elf On The Shelf dolls.
We're vacationing in the Realm of Chaos this week! While we're here let's create a completely randomized Beastmen warband. The first thing we'll need to do is generate a completely normal and functional champion to lead our warband. Easy right?
The 3rd edition Realm of Chaos rule books are a never ending source of fun and weirdness. Join Nathan as he randomly bestows the gifts of the gods on a poor Beastman. Things get out of hand.
Every era of Warhammer has units that capture the hearts and minds of players. Those units who combine incredible models, strong rules, and engaging lore. Those are the Triple Threats! We asked Warhammer players to nominate the units in 6th Edition that they thought best exemplified the Triple Threat, and they came through big time! We've got a list of wonderful units, including some surprises and old favourites, that we discuss and debate to find the ultimate Warhammer Triple Threat!
The Jedi elves of Warhammer Fantasy have been chopping up the competition since the early 90's! Today we give the Swordmasters of Hoeth their due respect. Join us as we explore the history of these elite guardians of knowledge. We're travelling from 4th-8th to uncover the changes in stats and lore to one of the most iconic elven units in Warhammer.
We're hungry for the latest news this week! We talk about the Ogres song and dance number in Total War Warhammer 3, and their possible place in Warhammer The Old World. Then we take a look at the recent Border Princes map for WTOW and do some wild speculating. The cherry on top is a couple rounds of Warhammer 20 Questions.
We're continuing the Cathay Roster review for Total War Warhammer 3, and speculating on what Cathay might look like on the tabletop someday. Is this all just wild speculation? Yes it is! Will that stop us? Nope! Come daydream with us of a future army full of Dragons, airships, and tons of adorable Oxen!
There's a new power in the Warhammer World! This week we talk about the upcoming Cathay faction for Total War Warhammer, and their possible future on the tabletop. We start with some history and a little speculation, then begin breaking down the Cathay TWW Roster by looking at the legendary lords and characters.
We've also have an announcement for the Orchard community! A very unique challenge starting soon...
The Gauntlet has been thrown down! Someone please pick it up. We're not made of gauntlets around here. Sheesh. Anyway, our hosts have been challenged to create the best Warhammer Characters of all time. We've sent them back to the Herohammer Era with unlimited points to see what hyper competitive, table smashing characters they can make! Will we uncover the perfect character? Will we change Warhammer forever? Or will our hosts have spent all their time making silly, over-expensive lords with dumb pun names? We guarantee one of those three questions is true!
This is it! the very last Storm of Chaos Episode! It's a giant love fest for two of our favourite armies in Warhammer Fantasy. Feel the need for speed with the Cult of Slannesh and their incredible Dark elf / Daemon prince hybrids! Then prepare to enter the bone zone with the Army of Sylvania and their fancy dressed skeletons and zombies!
Here's the link for the Adobe colour wheel mentioned in this episode: https://color.adobe.com/create/color-wheel
This week we're exploring the Alternative Armies section of the Storm of Chaos supplement! Three themed forces are in our sights this episode: The Bretonnian Errantry War, High Elf Sea Patrol, and Skaven Clan Eshin. It's an esoteric mix of factions who might not be the big players in Storm of Chaos, but will certainly make their presence known during Archaon's invasion!
It's the one you've been waiting for. It's even the one we've been waiting for! The Slayer army of Karak Kadrin is probably the most iconic force in the Storm of Chaos supplement. Ungrim Ironfist and his son lead an army of orange haired psychopaths on a quest for death and glory! We break down the army, its rules, and characters in this part 4 of our Storm of Chaos retrospective.
It's all Orcs in the third part of our Storm of Chaos Retrospective! Watch your head around Gorgut, Grimgor's very enthusiastic lieutenant. He's backed up by the biggest, meanest, and hardest Orc army list in the history of Warhammer. If your running with these boyz, remember to always bring your effigy of Gork, and absolutely no Goblins allowed!
We're still trapped in the Storm of Chaos! It's awfully messy in here but help is on the way. The Defenders of the Empire are rallying to Middenheim. Valten, Luther Huss, Boris Toddbringer, and even the Emperor himself make an appearance in this second part of our SoC retrospective. It's not just characters as we also explore the army of Middenheim, quite possibly the best Empire themed list of all time!
So it begins, the summer campaign to end them all! The Storm of Chaos is the much beloved 2004 Summer Campaign that shook the Warhammer World. It introduced characters and armies that have a place in the hearts and on the shelves of many hobbyists. Join us as we dive into what might be the most jam packed supplement Games Workshop ever released and explore the forces of Chaos in this retrospective part 1 of 3.
Get your boots on, secure your coin purse, and bring your appetite, we're going to the Moot! In this episode we take a little time to appreciate the Halflings of Warhammer Fantasy. There are no tall tales here, as the Halflings have been around since first edition and for a while formed their own armies and military contingents. The there was that time in fourth edition when they accidentally invented their own ingenious artillery in the deliciously deadly Hot Pot. Things looked bleak for them in sixth edition, until by some small miracle they ended up working as mercenaries with the Dogs of War. Turn out you just can't keep a lid on the little folk of Warhammer!
At the heart of every Craftworld, upon a throne of iron, sits the inert form of an Avatar of Khaine. A shard of the war god of the Eldar, a bloody handed murderer who's mere presence awakens a terrible lust for battle and death in his people. He's also a little shorter than you'd think...
This week we explore the history of the Avatar of Khaine in Warhammer 40k! From its earliest inception in Rogue Trader, its terrifying power in 2nd, its reimaging in 3rd, and finishing with its place in the modern era. An exploration of the lore and rules for this demi-god of battle 30 years in the making!
It's finally happened! We finally have a reason to talk about Warhammer: The Old World again! Armed with the latest information, our host discuss and debate the future of TOW, how much we can trust what Games Workshop is saying, and what is going on with the glacial pace of information being shared. With special guest: Grumpy Nathan! (He's a lot like regular Nathan but really fed up with the pace of news) Join us for a lively look at all the new developments for everyone's favourite game that might even exist someday!
Welcome to an exclusive club that caters to a very particular audience. You won't find any 25's here, no cavalry, and don't even think about trying to sneak round the back; the bouncer's a Doombull. This is the 40mm Club! Where the big boys of Warhammer come to play. Here you'll find Ogres, Minotaur, Kroxigor and so much more. This week we explore and judge monstrous infantry throughout the 4th-8th editions of Fantasy, and celebrate the Large and in charge!
There sure are a lot of magic items floating around the Warhammer World; every Goblin hero seems to have a Crown of Command, and I don't remember the last Vampire I saw without a Carstein Ring. Who doesn't have a Flail of Skulls somewhere in their attic?
In this episode our hosts dive into the Magic Supplement of 5th Edition Fantasy and wax nostalgic on the legendary (and not so legendary) items of the Herohammer era. Then we test our knowledge of which items belong to which special characters in a new game we call "Who wore it best?".
Psst, hey you! Yeah you! Want to be a champion of the Dark Gods? Sure you do! We can help you out, you'll just need a couple books, a 1000 sided die, and real open mind regarding what constitutes a "Gift".
There's many ways to build a servant of the Chaos Gods, but only one is truly random, truly chaotic, and truly weird. The 3rd Edition Realm of Chaos supplements allow us to create Chaos Champions beyond the scope of mortal imagination (and most natural laws). Join us as we craft a deeply strange Chaos Champion and their followers in this vacation edition of the show!
What do you get when you cross a stubborn Dwarf with a raging bull? You get this week's episode on the Bull Centaurs of the Chaos Dwarfs! Starting way back in 3rd Edition where they were actually Boar Centaurs, then moving through the big hat 4th Edition era, dipping our hooves in 6th, finally getting bigger and badder for 8th! It's a retrospective that charts the evolution of not only the Bull Centaurs but the Chaos Dwarfs themselves; it'll have you seeing a whole lot of red!
During it's long lifetime Warhammer Fantasy saw hundreds of units created for it's many factions. Some of those units would last for decades and see evolving model lines that reflected each era of their existence. We are not talking about them...
This week focuses on the one-and-done! Those units that burned brightly and briefly; and most importantly only appeared in one army book! We're going through from 4th-8th Edition and picking the units we would like to have seen rules and models for in later (and sometimes earlier!) editions. Join us for a lively look at those poor regiments, unlucky characters, and miserable monsters that make up the One Book Wonders!
The Warhammer World is steeped in wild magics. Those with the gift or skill to harness its power can rain down destruction on their enemies. Assuming of course they haven't run out of power dice or cards...
The casting of spells in Warhammer Fantasy has changed significantly over the years. Join us for a look at the Magic phases from 4th-8th Edition as we compare, contrast, and share some magical memories. From Magic Decks to Miscasts, this episode's a real Total Power Trip!
In the summer of 2003 the dread forces of Abaddon the Despoiler launched the greatest attack on the Imperium since the Horus Heresy. Too bad it got erased from history... Join us for a retrospective on the incredible Eye of Terror summer campaign! Whilst Games Workshop may have ignored and retconned the results, the armies units and themes introduced in this short lived supplement have left and indelible mark on Warhammer 40k that continues on to the modern era. Before the Cicatrix Maledictum, The Fall of Cadia, and the Gathering Storm, there was only one galaxy shattering event: the Eye of Terror!
Deep in the heart of an enchanted wood, beyond the cares and concerns of the mortal world, dwelt the Faerie Queen and her Stag King. Ariel & Orion maybe the closest thing to a fairy tale in the Warhammer world, but they are anything but harmless. From the brutality of the Wild Hunt to Ariel's world spanning wrath, The evolving story of the King and Queen in the Wood is one of violence and drama on a godly scale. Join us for a retrospective on the Old World's greatest power couple, as we examine the history of these demi-gods on and off the tabletop.
Would you like an army of Snotlings? How about a throng of Slayers? Way too many Cannons? All this could be yours in the early days of Warhammer Fantasy 6th edition. Journey back with us to the early 2000's, where we'll explore the plethora of incredible alternate lists for your favourite Warhammer factions. It was a time of incredible themed armies where the living marched side by side with the dead, Orcs and Goblins re-enacted Mad Max, and Dark Elves got real friendly with Daemons.
It's time to get down and dirty with Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay. Instead of the Warrior, Mage, and Cleric, you've got a Rat Catcher, Beggar, and Scribe... Good Luck!
Special Guest Marcel Josch joins the show to chat about Roleplaying in the Warhammer World, what makes Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay special, and the differences in running a game online vs in person. Then Marcel and Nathan break down their ongoing campaign and why Nathan is now terrified of Altdorf.
Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird, it's a plane, It's a screaming Goblin lunatic! This week's show is all about the wonderful, wacky and weird war machines of the Orks and Goblins! one part retrospective and one part review, we breakdown all of the green and mean machines from 4th to 8th edition. They may not be the best or most effective war machines of Warhammer, but they might just be the most fun on the tabletop!
Skitter back down to the Under Empire for a retrospective on Grey Seers, Verminlords, and Skaven magic! From their beginnings in 3rd, through to the final Skaven book in 7th, we chart the evolution of these potent rat mages and the powers at their command. We also dive into the lore to explore the relationship between the two, and why the Grey Seers love to threaten the summoning of a Verminlord, but would really rather not!
This week we're celebrating our one year anniversary with a game show! Our hosts go head to head in four homemade Warhammer Fantasy games designed to test their Old World wisdom! Can you identify the mystery regiment in our game "That's not my unit!"? Can you decipher the terrible clues in "Characters described badly"? Will you get tripped up by the perplexing point values of "In this economy!"? Tune in to test your Warhammer knowledge and see which of our intrepid hosts come out on top!
In the summer of 2000, Warhammer 40k players all over the world were invited to decide the fate of the world of Armageddon. It was the opening act that would begin the golden age of Games Workshop's Summer Campaigns. The Third War for Armageddon would provide plenty of memorable moments and characters; and catapult the Black Templars, Salamanders, Cult of Speed, and Steel Legion to the heights of 40k fame. Join us on this lively retrospective of a summer campaign whose legacy is still being felt today.
Goblins! They're small, nasty, and just about everywhere! Join us as we take a stroll through the History of Warhammer Fantasy and check in on the wide variety of Goblins from 1st Edition onwards! We have Red Goblins, Great Goblins, Hobgoblins, Dust Goblins and many more! They may not be strong, and they may not be tough or brave, but my oh my are there lots of them!
How well do you know Warhammer? How are your Fantasy facts? Are you ready to take on the Big Fat Warhammer Quiz? Join us as we plumb the depths of The Warhammer Fantasy quiz book and see if you can do better than our hapless hosts. It's an episode full of obscure facts, stressed out hosts, silly surprises, and a level 25 Spasmghast, whatever that is...
School's in! Learn all about the colleges of Magic and the Supreme Patriarchs in this highly educational episode. The eight colleges of magic are the most incredible institutions in the Empire. Their influence spans the Old World and beyond. We'll take a look at each of them in turn and then visit in with Thyrus Gorman and Balthasar Gelt, the former and current Supreme Patriarchs, and hear the story of their sorcerous duel!
Dark Shadows creep across the Warhammer World. The Mists of Albion have receded leaving the mysterious Island open to invasion. In 2001 Games Workshop took Warhammer Fantasy on a summer vacation to the rain drenched shores of Albion. Now join us for a retrospective on a unique and flavourful campaign that defined the early 6th edition era. We visit in with the Dark Emissaries and the Truthsayers, summon up a Fenbeast or two, and complain about the weather!
Remember the time Abaddon got eaten by a giant clam? How about when Marneus Calgar was mind controlled by a tree? Or when Yarrick got attacked by a tyrannosaurus?
There was a beautiful time in the earliest era of 40k when all of these things could have happened and so much more! Join us for an exploration of the weird and wonderful beasts that inhabit Rogue Trader, the insane first edition of Warhammer 40k. You'll find the early versions of plenty of iconic units and monsters in today's game, alongside those who would only exist in this classic tome. Just be warned, the big squirrels are not as friendly as they look...
Grab your embalming tools! This week we're looking at the history of mummies in Warhammer Fantasy! Getting their start as generic roster filler in 1st edition, mummies would ascend to the highest pyramids of the Warhammer World. Eventually becoming (Tomb) Kings and Queens of their own faction, and occupying an essential place in the lore of Warhammer Fantasy.
With Special Guests: Settra the Imperishable & High Queen Khalida
It all comes down to this! Dozens of nominees, hundreds of votes, and now the final decisions. It's the Warhammer Fantasy Hall of Fame! Find out who were the community champions, the unit and special character that got the most votes on our polls and a fast track into the hall of fame. Then listen to our panel discuss and agonize over which iconic finalist units will join them, and which must be disqualified. Feel free to get unreasonably mad when they eliminate your favourite character or unit!
A huge thanks to everyone who voted and helped make this silly episode a reality! You're all Hall of Famer's to us!
This week we explore the wild early history of the Genestealer! Get ready for a some wonderful weirdness! We start with their earliest incarnation as a leech monster, then check out their Space Hulk makeover. We explore their crazy cults, including the Chaos worshipping one that allowed you to daemonically possess your Patriarch! Somewhere in all of this madness Orks show up, and we haven't even got to 2nd Edition yet! Speaking of 2nd, we pop in to see if joining the Tyranid Hive Fleets made the Genestealers and their children less crazy. Finally we explore how the great 3rd Edition reboot shook them up, and it's still ongoing effects. Buckle up! This episode's quite a (limo) ride!
It's the podcast so nice they recorded it thrice!
We're getting digital this week as Nathan and Scott take on Total War: Warhammer. First take a trip down memory lane to remember the great Warhammer video games of years past. Then explore those things we love and hate about the first Total War: Warhammer games. We round things out with our speculation on the newly revealed third game of the series and what fans can expect to see on launch!
Excited for Total War Warhammer 3? Then take a trip the northern most nation of the Old World with this episode of the Wargames Orchard. Kislev is a land rich in history, culture, and the odd bear fighting mad man! Learn all all about the hardy people of Kislev, their powerful Ice Queen, and her incredible powers. Visit the three great Kislev cities and find out what happens to life in the aftermath of a Chaos invasion. Then take a stroll through time as we examine the tabletop rules of Tzarina Katarin and her father Tzar Boris the Red!
Wherever there are Orks, and wherever there are Orcs, you're sure to find Squigs! These pesky, bitey, small, and sometimes gargantuan beasties are a staple of Warhammer Fantasy and 40k. This week on the Orchard we explore the history of the Squig in both games. From the Face Eaters and Squig Pipes of Rogue Trader, to the genesis of the famous Cave Squig in Fourth Edition Fantasy. And from the dynamite laden Bomb Squigs, to the ground shaking colossal Squig. It just doesn't get any more squiggly than this!
We're going back to the future, which happens to be in the past! Wait what? Time travel is confusing, but Nathan and Scott won't be dissuaded from exploring the timeline of the upcoming Warhammer: The Old World. A timeline that drops us into one of the most interesting eras of the Warhammer Fantasy World. They then speculate (some might say wildly) on what models, themes, and plotlines we may see once the game is released.
In ancient castles, crypts, and mausoleums across the Old World; Vampires rise to feed! Get acquainted with the blood drinkers of Warhammer Fantasy in this collection of stories. Take a trip through the dark forests of Bretonnia, witness a sorcerous duel in the darkest crypt, and strut across the Battlements of Castle Drakenhof. These stories and more await those brave enough to listen!
With Special Guest: Vlad Von Carstein, and Walach!
Khorne cares not from where the blood flows, but we here at the Orchard do! It's a history of Khorne Berzerkers starting with their precursors in Rogue Trader and continuing through every era of Warhammer 40k to the modern day. Join us for a bloody good time breaking down this iconic unit!
With Special Guest: Kharn the Betrayer
This episode is dedicated to the loving memory of Nathan's Microphone, RIP.
The mightiest Knights in all of the human realms ride to battle! This week we're exploring the history of the Grail Knights in Warhammer Fantasy. Starting with their precursors in 3rd and working our way through the eras, we talk about the lore, rules, and history of these most chivalrous sons of Bretonnia!
With special guest: The Green Knight
It's the Orchard year in review! Nathan & Scott take a look at the weirdness of 2020 and talk about the hobby, what they're thankful for, and what this next year might bring. They finish things off with a brand new game: Warhammer Characters Described Badly! Can you sift through the unconventional (some might say terrible) descriptions to uncover the identities of classic Warhammer Characters?
It's the Wargames Orchard holiday special. Join us round the fire for two great Felix and Gotrek stories! The Warhammer world's most dynamic duo, in tales of action and suspense, with a sprinkle of comedy!
With special guests: Mannfred Von Carstien, and Karl Franz!
It's a deep dive on the grimdark side on this episode of the Orchard! Nathan and Scott explore the history of the Blood Angels Death company from 2nd Edition all the way to 9th. On their journey they stop in with a few legends of the chapter and discuss some of the strangest army building rules that have ever graced Warhammer 40k.
With Special Guests: Captain Tycho, Mephiston, Moriar, and Astorath the Grim!
We tunnel into the depths of Skaven history to shine a light on the shadowy Assassins of Clan Eshin! A lore and in game examination of these sneaky killers from 2nd to 7th edition Warhammer Fantasy. Just be careful listening to this episode, otherwise you might not hear the quiet footfalls behind you...
With Special Guest: Deathmaster Snitch!
The second part of our starter box breakdown! This time it's all Fantasy all the time, as Nathan and Scott take a trip through the history of Warhammer Fantasy to figure out which starter set was the best. Join us for a nostalgia filled exploration of the big bright boxes that introduced so many to the Warhammer World. Our journey starts in the mists of 1992 and 4th Edition and continues up to 8th Edition in 2010.
You can find part one, the 40k starter box breakdown here:
https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/xc53e5/WargamesOrchard11.mp3
There sure have been a lot of starter sets for Warhammer. Both 40k and Fantasy are littered with products designed to get you into the game, but which one of these starter boxes are the best? Nathan and Scott breakdown every Warhammer starter box from 1992 to 2020 in this two part special. All to try and answer one simple question: Who's king amongst the boxes?
Part one unboxes the boxes of Warhammer 40k!
In this episode we travel to The Impossible Fortress to uncover the history of Tzeentch's favorite servants, the Lords of Change! A lore and rules dive from 4th to 8th edition. Learn about that time when Lords of Change didn't come with any magical powers; and why it's not a good idea to agree when Tzeentch offers to give you a very close look at the well of eternity.
With special guests: Kairos Fateweaver and Amon 'ChaKai
Join us as we explore the life and times of Heinrich Kemmler. Heinrich's lore rises from the early years of Warhammer all the way to the opening act of the End Times. Our journey take us from the 2nd edition Terror of the Lichemaster way back in 1986, through his heyday in 4th edition, his decline in 5th, and his return to the table in 8th.
With special guest: Mikeal Jacsen!
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Lord Zhul The Wise? It's not a story the Skinks would tell you.
On this very special episode we take a look at the Slann Mage Priests, masters of magic in the Warhammer world. A deep dive into the Lore and Rules of these bloated beauties from their introduction in 5th to the last Lizardmen book in 8th. With Special Guests Lord Kroak and Mazdamundi!
In 1998 Games Workshop released Champions of Chaos. A supplement for Warhammer Fantasy that detailed the greatest warriors of the dark gods. A short two years later the book would be invalidated and most of the Champions would never receive rules or models again. In this episode we take a look at these forgotten warriors, some of the most interesting characters to ever roam the northern wastes.
In this episode our brave hosts try something a little different. A full Warhammer Fantasy Draft! It works for sports leagues, and it turns out to be tremendous fun for Warhammer! Follow along and get mad at the guys for not picking the same units you would! We've also got hobby talk and surprisingly some actual game recaps! It's a fun filled frolic for your ears!
In this episode Nathan and Scott take a look at Malekith the Witch King of Naggaroth, and one true heir to the Phoenix Crown! A rules retrospective from 5th to 8th edition, followed by a dive into his lore that attempts to paint Malekith in a more sympathetic light. All this plus hobby and rules talk in this king sized episode of the Orchard!
Part 2 of the Vampire retrospective sees Nathan, Scott, and Jesse sink their teeth into the 6th, 7th and 8th edition incarnations of the lords of undeath in Warhammer Fantasy! There's also tournament stories, and important questions, like where's Walach? Seriously, he's been missing for over 20 years now...
Nathan & Scott are joined by their friend Jesse in this packed episode! First up guys take some time to learn Jesse's wargaming history and talk about their ongoing Warhammer Orchard Edition project. Then It's on to the first part of a three part retrospective on Vampires in Warhammer Fantasy!
A Giant sized episode about Giants! In this episode our hosts talk about the history and evolution of the Giant's rules in Warhammer, and the good and bad of random rules mechanics.
In the inaugural episode our hosts Nathan and Scott reminisce about how they discovered Warhammer Fantasy and how they and the game grew and changed over the years. Then they dive into the eras of Warhammer from fifth to eighth edition.