The Conversation Starters: Recent Episodes

theconversationstarters

A podcast about getting past small talk and into better conversations with anyone, anywhere

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In social situations, two people can do the exact same things (good and bad) and get a very different reaction. We discuss chemistry, first impressions, and a theory inspired by Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. 

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We discuss disappointing people, sharing failures, and the impulse to retreat from relationship until you're the person you want to be. 

Find us on Instagram at @theconversationstarters or email contact@theconversationstarters.com

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Hannah and Karina discuss change, culture shock, and what happens when you fail to live up to your own high standards for relationship and conversation. Part two to follow.

Find us on Instagram at @theconversationstarters or email contact@theconversationstarters.com

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The one-sided conversation. We've all been there – and several of you have written in to ask about it! What do you do when you're always the one asking questions and listening, and they don't show the same interest in your life??

Find us on Instagram at @theconversationstarters, or email contact@theconversationstarters.com. 

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We share our own first impressions of each other, advice for listeners, and how our thinking on the topic has changed over time. 

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We're back for season 2 and returning to our core principles, the Three Rules of Good Conversation: 

  1. Find what fascinates you

  2. Consider the context

  3. Develop your own style

If you're new to our podcast, this is a good place to start! 

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Talking about the future - especially during unstable times - can feel extra challenging. In this episode we talk about conversations about future plans, especially in life situations (like graduation) where everyone around you is asking you the same questions.

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Is there any more common conversation than the one that starts with "How are you?" In part 2 of our series, we talk about meaningful ways to catch up on someone's current context, and how to share about your own life in a way that gets past the default answers. 

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You never have to stop getting to know someone! In this episode we discuss situations where someone is sharing about their past, and questions to ask to get deepen the conversation – especially if they tend toward either negativity or nostalgia.

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We like to share deep and unusual conversation-starting questions. But sometimes these questions hit a wall if the person asked feels "under pressure" and needs time to think about their answer. In this episode, we talk about internal and external processors – those who collect their thoughts before speaking, and those who externalize their ideas before they've reached a conclusion. How does each type find their place in a conversation? And how do we make sure we're hearing them accurately? 

Song "Easy Going Today" by Markus Huber licensed through Soundstripe

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How can you make the best possible conversation from the topic of year-end evaluations and resolutions often brought up this time of year? 

Karina and Hannah discuss how to maximize the topic, set goals, and propose some simple challenges to deepen conversations and relationships in 2021.

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We wrap up our series on apologies with a dialogue between the Lebanese and Swiss cultures – through an interview with two roommates, and stories from Karina about growing up with the blend of both. 

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Get ready to deconstruct how people apologize even further. In this episode we scratch the surface of how apologies – especially indirect apologies – look around the world. We focus especially on overly apologetic cultures in this episode. 

Music Licensed Through Soundstripe:

Easy Going Today - Markus Huber

By the Fireside - Tide Electric

Remember When - Ghost Beatz

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We share more of your thoughts about apologies, and discuss whether forgiveness and reconciliation is a crucial objective or not. 

Sources:

Why Won't You Apologize by Dr Harriet Lerner

Music licensed through Soundstripe:

Open Doors by Anchor

Neon Feel by Matt Wigton

Easy Going Today by Markus Huber

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We tackle a very tricky type of conversation: the apology. How can we apologize well – and what are the pitfalls to avoid? 

Sources:

Why Won't You Apologize? by Dr Harriet Lerner

Music licensed through Soundstripe:

Waltz for a Lost Summer by Joshua Spacht

Easy Going Today by Markus Huber

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Once you've had a great conversation with someone, what can you do to keep up the momentum and strengthen a friendship? 

Want to be featured? Send an audio response to the following questions to contact@theconversationstarters.com!

  1. What does apology look like in your culture?

  2. How did you learn to apologize?

  3. What makes a good apology?

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You've moved. You've started a new job. You're meeting your in-laws. We're talking stories and tips from all our experiences starting over in new circles ... especially when you have a lot invested in being accepted by them! 

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One of our all-time favorite topics of (and excuses for) good conversation: FOOD. Everybody eats! We share ideas for deepening relationships and conversation through food, and discuss a controversial conversation subject: weight loss and dieting.

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Music can unlock our emotions, memories, and histories – so conversations about music are amazing options to get to know each other! 

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A quiet, unplanned phone call between us, checking in to see how we're doing after the Beirut port explosion. We discuss our personal experiences and conversations with those far removed from trauma and those experiencing it alongside you.

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Another easy topic that can get stuck in spoiler anxiety or surface small talk ... or be a phenomenal conversation! Give us your thoughts at contact@theconversationstarters.com, or find us on Instagram @theconversationstarters. 

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Today's episode features an interview with Elie Kesrouwany, recorded at his board game cafe On Board. We spoke about how books first gave him an escape out of this world and then a way back, and why the subject provides an amazing way to connect with people. 

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In this episode we cover a fantastic, easy topic of conversation that you can take in many directions. Find us on Instagram at @theconversationstarters and share your thoughts and book recommendations! 

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It is a huge challenge to stay close with loved ones when you're spread around the world. We asked for your best tips, and share our own thoughts on maintaining emotional closeness when you're far away.

Music licensed from Soundstripe:

Easy Going Today - Markus Huber

Acadian Flycatcher, Unicus - Isaac Joel

The Rain - Midnight Daydream

Banana Split - BRASKO

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When friends no longer share the same beliefs – politics, faith, or opinions – should you cut ties, or try to maintain the friendship? 

Our music is licensed with Soundstripe:

Easy Going Today - Mark Huber

Back to Save the Universe, Coarse Grain - glasseyes

Our Memories - AEROPLANES

Luster - Moments

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It's a near-universal experience: being very close to someone, talking easily ... and then over time, you're no longer the same people, and conversation feels forced, inauthentic, or isn't happening at all. So how do we think about these friendships?

Email us at contact@theconversationstarters.com.

Music licensed from Soundstripe:

Easy Going Today by Markus Huber

Edison by Wild Wonder

Kindness Follows by Birds of Norway

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We love conversation-starting questions, but how do you use them naturally?

In the episode, we invite you to email us (contact@theconversationstarters.com) and share: - What are the reasons you've had a close friendship change/end? - How did this impact your conversations together? - How do you feel about what happened? - Have you ever kept a close relationship through many changes (in life, beliefs, etc)? What made it possible?  Quotes will be anonymous.

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What is a good conversationalist? Sometimes we imagine a person wholly different from ourselves, and do our best to fake it – or avoid conversation completely! In this episode, we discuss how knowing yourself and developing your personal style of conversation is way better than comparing to others. And we don't have it all figured out either – we are constantly repeating this process, because confidence is a slippery thing to hold on to when life keeps changing.

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What surrounds your conversation? There are your individual circumstances, your cultures, and the literal location where the conversation takes place. We discuss these ideas and wrap up our explanation of Rule #2, "Consider Your Context."

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How are you at reading a room? If following Rule #1 will save you from boring conversations, Rule #2 will save you from the disastrous ones! Oh we have plenty of experience getting this one wrong, but we're working on it. Give us your wisdom on our Instagram, @theconversationstarters, and join us next week for Part 2. 

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In this episode, we introduce our Three Rules of Good Conversation and dive into the first: "Find what fascinates you." The goal is genuine questions that automatically change the mood of the interaction. 

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We all have situations where conversation is a struggle. (Especially during a pandemic.) Our goal is to take the worst situations and the missed opportunities, and find solutions. In this episode we introduce ourselves and our podcast: The Conversation Starters.