But Really, How Are You? : Recent Episodes
CoryAnn Kleinhaus
Learn, grow, and gain knowledge on emotional wellness. “But really, how are you?” dives into many of the real feelings you experience and investigates emotional wellbeing. Hear from psychology experts about how to dig into your emotions to experience a stronger connection with yourself and others. There’s something to learn from every episode. We hope you’ll grow in your ability to recognize and understand your emotions and gain wellness tools to express your feelings in healthy ways. You’ll learn new skills for communication, conflict resolution, and relationship-building. With emotional wellbeing comes a centered understanding of you—meaning more balance, mindfulness, resilience, purposeful living, and a positive self-image. Join us on the journey to emotional wellbeing and personal growth!
This is the final episode for this season! Endings can bring up mixed emotions: sadness, excitement, grief, anticipation, and gratefulness to name a few. Some endings happen intentionally and some are without choice. Whether that’s leaving a job, ending a relationship, selling a home, or even moving, we can end well by intentionally thinking how we would like to exit. Ending well makes room for new beginnings.
In episode 40, we speak with Debbie Laaser on ending well and starting new beginnings. She shares how to recognize when it may be time to end a season, the emotions that may arise, and how to do it with intentionality. This emptying out process creates room for what’s next in our lives. When we feel stuck in our current circumstances, Debbie explains that sometimes it’s about making the next right choice, rather than figuring out the entire plan. It is through listening to ourselves that we can know when to move on and how to discover what will truly give us a sense of joy and fulfillment.
If you are trying to figure out how to end well or what may be next, this is a great episode for you! Thanks for joining us this season on But Really, How Are You?
Key Takeaways
- Debbie’s thoughts about the topic -- Ending well
- Some beliefs that come along with ending things or being at the stand-still for her
- What she thinks people feel when they are on a stand-still or stuck
- On knowing when to change thoughts and beliefs vs. changing what is happening in life
- Beliefs that influence decisions in life for her
- On the importance of paying attention to emotions and their message
- Debbie’s story on moving on and finding joy
- The list that Debbie recommends to aid in finding joy
- Her thoughts on how to end things well
- Knowing when to end a relationship and how to end it in a healthy way for her
- On sadness as a healthy part of ending things
- The benefit of ending things well for her in the long run
- Her view on the next small steps to pay attention to ending things well
- A conversation on finding the next right house and denying self of joy
- Lessons she learned from the book Big Magic
- Her belief that helped her find joy
- CorryAnn’s final thanks to close season 1
Link
- Debbie Laaser on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/debra-laaser-5b640514/
Book
- Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/24453082-big-magic
Bio:
Debbie Laaser, M.A., LMFT is a licensed marriage and family therapist and was involved in recovery with her husband, Mark, for over thirty years. After Mark’s passing in 2019, she became the Director of Faithful & True. Debbie has facilitated therapy groups and counseled relationally betrayed wives for over 20 years. She is the author of Shattered Vows and co-author with Mark of Seven Desires and A Toolkit for Growth: Practical Recovery Tools for Individuals and Couples. Debbie’s recent research project, “Posttraumatic Growth in Relationally Betrayed Women” was published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.
Over the past few years, there has been growing popularity around the practices of mindfulness, meditation, and yoga. Curious about the life changing effects these practices had on so many, researchers began to question if there really was scientific evidence to support these practices. Dr. Sara Lazar was one of these individuals who wanted solid evidence that these practices produced changes in the brain.
In Episode 39, we discuss with Dr. Sara Lazar about her research in the effects of mindfulness, meditation, and yoga. She shares about specific areas of the brain that these practices affect, and how they truly reduce our brain's response to things like stress and pain. Dr. Lazar shares that these benefits go beyond the individual by helping to cultivate greater compassion for others as well. Listen to this episode if you want to learn how mindfulness, meditation, and yoga impact your emotional well-being!
Key Takeaways
- A little bit about Sara and her work
- The important structures of the brain that she found through her neuro-imaging research
- Some brain areas that follow the default mode network as explained by Sara
- Her view on what brain area is affected by stress and how
- What she found out in her research
- What types of meditation correlates with better outcomes
- Her research findings on reducing symptoms
- Her research on pain and how people experience it
- How she thinks mindfulness affects pain and its applicability to chronic pain
- She talks about mindfulness in labor
- Her study on fear conditioning concerning the pain that people experience
- The effects of doing meditation frequently for her
- Her view on practicing mindfulness with movement
- Her explanation on how yoga affects the structures of the brain
- Her study on Taichi
- How yoga helps in developing self-compassion and other resources for her
- How she thinks yoga can lead to developing compassion for others
- Her opinion on how meditation and other practices build better resilience
- How body awareness ties with yoga and other practices and its importance for her
- Her recommendations on how people can begin their yoga journey
- Her piece of mind on incorporating sensory deprivation in mindfulness
- Her tips on doing self-compassion and equanimity
Link
- Lazar Lab - https://scholar.harvard.edu/sara_lazar/home
- Green Circle Initiatives - https://www.greencircleinitiatives.com/but-really-how-are-you
App
- As Well - https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.greencircleinitiatives.aswell&hl=en≷=US
Bio:
Sara W. Lazar, PhD is an Associate Researcher in the Psychiatry Department at Massachusetts General Hospital and an Assistant Professor in Psychology at Harvard Medical School. The focus of her research is to elucidate the neural mechanisms underlying the beneficial effects of yoga and meditation, both in clinical settings and in healthy individuals. She is a contributing author to Meditation and Psychotherapy (Guilford Press). She has been practicing yoga and mindfulness meditation since 1994. Her research has been covered by numerous news outlets including The New York Times, USA Today, CNN, and WebMD, and her work has been featured in a display at the Boston Museum of Science.
When emotions arise, oftentimes we try to figure out how to fix them, rather than asking what they are trying to tell us. However, our emotions are not separate from or intelligence or logic. In fact, emotions are messengers telling us about what we may need or events to pay attention to.
In Episode 38, we speak with Karla McLaren on the purpose of emotions. She explains the importance of connecting with them and how it benefits our well-being. Karla dives into the specific messages that anger, sadness, grief, anxiety, frustration, happiness and hope are telling us. Karla also researches empathy, and she shares her model of how true empathy works. By the end of this episode, you will learn that emotions aren’t something that need to be fixed, but instead they need to be understood. If you want to grow in your understanding of emotions, this is the episode for you!
Key Takeaways
- Karla’s work and the things that she does
- Her explanation on what emotions are and what it tells
- How she thinks emotions are related to intelligence and logic
- On connecting with emotions
- The benefits of investigating emotions for her
- Her view on how emotions work
- The effects of working in an unhealthy work or social environment for her
- Sharing her communication practices for workers to create small areas of engagement
- Her view on what empathy is
- Her explanation of the six aspects model of empathy
- Her opinion on what sadness and grief are and what it tells us
- What frustration vs anger is for her
- How can people work on handling anger for her
- What hope and happiness are for her
- How she thinks understanding emotions help us deal with life differently
- Her four families of emotions to knowing emotions
- How understanding emotions helps in handling problems for her
- How she thinks people tune in to empathy despite feeling fatigue
- The message that she wants to leave with the listeners
Link
- Karla McLaren on LinkedIn -https://www.linkedin.com/in/karla-mclaren-m-ed-17b947a2/
- Karla McLaren on Twitter - https://twitter.com/KarlaMcLaren
- Karla McLaren Website - https://karlamclaren.com/
- As Well App - https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.greencircleinitiatives.aswell&hl=en_IN≷=US
- Green Circle Initiatives Website - https://www.greencircleinitiatives.com/
Book
- Practices for Embracing Anxiety by Karla McLaren M.Ed. - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52079401-practices-for-embracing-anxiety
- Power of Emotions at Work by Karla McLaren M.Ed. - coming out in August 2021
Bio:
Karla McLaren, M.Ed. is an award-winning author, social science researcher, and empathy pioneer. Her lifelong work focuses on her grand unified theory of emotions, which revalues even the most “negative” emotions and opens startling new pathways into self-awareness, effective communication, and healthy empathy.
Karla is the author of Embracing Anxiety: How to Access the Genius of this Vital Emotion (2020), The Dynamic Emotional Integration® Workbook (2018), The Art of Empathy: A Complete Guide to Life’s Most Essential Skill (2013), and many audio learning programs and online courses.
This week’s episode is the second part of The Enneagram mini-series. This tool is useful for understanding ourselves, our roles, how we relate to one another, and how we find our place in the world.
In Episode 37, we explore with Leslie Root how the enneagram affects our relationships. We will learn about the positives and pitfalls of each enneagram type, and how we can deepen our relational understanding with each particular personality type, growing greater compassion towards those around us. This translates directly to our relationship with our children, and Leslie gives parents some great advice as they navigate family life. If you are interested in learning how the enneagram can help improve your relationships, give this episode a listen!
Key Takeaways
- What Leslie does and incorporating enneagram in her work
- What made her choose enneagram in her practice
- On understanding how enneagram types helps in forming relationships
- What the attachment theory is
- What enneagram types she thinks pair up together
- Her view on the positive and pitfalls of enneagram types
- On wings, instinct, and subtypes in getting enneagram type variations
- Her advice to do a discovery session with experts in knowing the enneagram type
- Her description of the nine enneagram types
- Her view on building relationships through understanding the enneagram types
- When she thinks the enneagram type fully evolves
- How enneagram affects love relationships for her
- On enneagram types as the shortcut in understanding people and relationships
- Resources she recommends
- About her online workshop in discovering enneagram types
Link
- Leslie Root on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/lroot
- Enneagram unlimited on Facebook - https://web.facebook.com/groups/318602159249453/?_rdc=1&_rdr
Book
- The wisdom of the enneagram by Russ Hudson – https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/311053.The_Wisdom_of_the_Enneagram
Podcast
- Leslie Root Podcast - http://leslierootcounseling.com/podcast
Bio:
Leslie Root LMFT is a certified sex and love addiction, RLT, PIT, Enneagram trained therapist who loves to work with clients on discovering their true north in life and love relationships. In addition to her therapy work, Leslie trains coaches and therapists on using the enneagram in their work and personal lives. To learn more about Leslie and her program offerings feel free to visit her website at leslierootcounseling.com or join the enneagram facebook group at facebook.com/groups/enneagramunlimited
From the moment a child is born, they are shaped by the world outside themselves. However, if you look at a young child, it is evident that they have their own unique personality. Because of this, various personality typing tools have evolved to help a person understand one’s self and others better.
The Enneagram has its roots in ancient tradition, and has become a modern way to synthesize various personality types. The Enneagram outlines only nine personality types; however, this seemingly simple system is quite complex when you look below the surface.
In Episode 36, we invited Enneagram Coach Ramona Reid to provide a broad overview of the Enneagram types. Ramona shares the importance of the Enneagram, how groups of Enneagram types operate in similar ways, and how we can approach understanding our own Enneagram type. Whether this is familiar or your first time hearing about the Enneagram , this episode will provide you with a better understanding of yourself and others.
Key Takeaways
- Ramona’s journey to getting into the enneagram
- Her view on what enneagram is
- On understanding enneagram for emotional wellbeing
- How she correlates somatic experience of emotion and the enneagram types
- Her explanation on the nine enneagram types according to the centres of intelligence
- How she distinguishes what enneagram type a person is
- Her recommended resources on the enneagram
- Her view on understanding the enneagram types to help people understand things better
- How she uses enneagram to analyze what a person needs in a situation
- How she uses enneagram in relationships
- How enneagram helps in searching for life’s purpose or meaning for her
Links
- Ramona Reid on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramona-reid-103187b1/
- Ramona Reid on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/rooreid/
- Enneagram Institute - https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/
- Holistic Revolution Radio Shows - http://www.mynashvillecenter.com/
- Green Circle Initiatives - https://www.greencircleinitiatives.com/but-really-how-are-you
Book
- The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk M.D. - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18693771-the-body-keeps-the-score
- The Brain-Based Enneagram by Jerome D. Lubbe - https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/51977642-the-brain-based-enneagram
- The Honest Enneagram by Sarajane Case - https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/52152562-the-honest-enneagram
- The Wisdom of the Enneagram by Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/311053.The_Wisdom_of_the_Enneagram
Podcast
- The Sleeping at Last Podcast - https://sleepingatlast.podbean.com/
- Enneagram Worldwide - https://enneagramworldwide.com/
App
As Well - https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.greencircleinitiatives.aswell&hl=en≷=US
Oftentimes, when we think of being creative, we associate it with a form of art or creating a product. But being a creative person is more about how we think than what we produce. And living a creative life can affect every aspect from relationships, to problem solving, or self expression.
In this episode, we talk with Dr. Terri Goslin-Jones about creativity and how it impacts our emotional well-being. She helps define what everyday creativity is and how it can change the way we view life. Creativity is something that we can practice and grow in, and through this also grow as a person. Creativity can help us find challenging solutions or transition during big life changes. Getting in touch with our creative side can help us get in touch with our inner landscape. Give this episode a listen to learn more!
Key Takeaways
- A little about Terri and her work
- What creativity is for her
- Terri’s definition of everyday creativity
- How creativity crosses psychology and wellness for her
- How she sees life without creativity
- Changing people internally through creativity for her
- On the importance of opening up to creativity
- Using creativity in teaching psychology or working with people for her
- The effects of living creatively to a person’s well-being for her
- On creativity in relationships
- Her idea of helping people through creativity to move in different stages of life
- On creativity as a product
- How to discover creativity for her
- Her view on using creativity to overcome difficulties
- On mindfulness creativity and collaboration
- How she uses creativity to make changes in life
- Her opinion on creating yourself through creativity
- Terri’s tips on opening the creativity box
- Her view on starting simple with creativity
- On using meditation and sounding
- Her thoughts on everyone’s creative potential
Link
- Dr. Terri Goslin-Jones Website - https://terrigoslin-jones.com/
- Dr. Terri Goslin-Jones on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/terri-goslin-jones-ph-d-981438/
Bio:
In my private practice as a workplace psychologist, I work with individuals and groups. I also work as a psychology professor and teach coursework and supervise research on creativity studies.
My business mission is to Discover the Wonder of People at Work™. My core belief is that work becomes more meaningful when creativity is nurtured through the expression of a person’s unique gifts, talents, and perspectives. My coaching creates a path for growth, change, and personal renewal. Prior to consulting, I spent my career working as a Director / VP of Human Resources.
Personal Interests:
I am passionate about living a life that is meaningful, authentic, creative and will make a difference to my family, friends, clients and colleagues. I am committed to family life, expressive arts, gardening, and a love for life-long learning, physical fitness, spirituality, and international travel.
Education:
Ph.D., Psychology, Saybrook University, Pasadena, CA
Dissertation focus: Creativity and the Workplace
M.A., Personnel and Counseling, Miami University-Ohio
B.A., Psychology, Western Michigan University
We often think of emotions as experiences of the mind, but our body has visceral sensations -- a body feeling -- for every emotion. When you are anxious, your stomach may feel in a knot. You may feel a flutter with a romantic touch of your hand. Or when you’re angry your chest gets tight. Our experiences may be different, but we all have visceral sensations for each emotion.
In Episode 34, we speak with Danielle Braun-Kauffman who is a marriage and family therapist and is trained in Satir Systemic Transformational Therapy. Danielle explains how family of origin and past experiences affect the way we react and deal with present day relationships, and for women in particular, how they experience labor and the postpartum period.
One of Danielle’s main goals is to help women reconnect to their body and the visceral sensations their bodies experience during emotional events. She frequently works with postpartum depression and anxiety, and explains how she helps women work through these issues. Tune in to learn more!
Key Takeaways
- Danielle’s experiences and her career as a counselor
- What qualifies as being traumatic for her
- Her definition of complex trauma
- How trauma affects a person for her
- The interconnectivity of emotion and physiological sensation
- On ACES concerning prenatal and postpartum trauma
- Danielle talks about pregnancy and having a birth plan
- How she thinks past experiences affect postpartum anxiety and depression
- Her advice on how to work through feelings or fear
- Her advice on learning how to heal and be embodied in pregnancy
Book
- The body keeps the score by Bessel A. van der Kolk, M.D. - https://www.brainpickings.org/2016/06/20/the-body-keeps-the-score-van-der-kolk/
Links
- Danielle Braun-Kauffman on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/danielle-braun-kauffman-abb985101/?originalSubdomain=ca
- Danielle Braun-Kauffman’s Website - https://www.reposetherapy.com/about-us/meet-the-repose-team/danielle-braun-kauffman
- Self Compassion - https://self-compassion.org/
Bio:
Danielle Braun-Kauffman is a Registered Clinical Counselor with the BC Association of Clinical Counselors. She has been working in the field of psychotherapy since 2005. She has been trained as a clinical supervisor through the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy supervision course. She acted as clinical supervisor to both practicum and internship students at Trinity Western University in the Marriage and Family Therapy MA program for 8 years. Currently she owns, operates and clinically supervises a team of 7 associate therapists and intern students through her work at Re.Pose Therapy. She has completed level 1 & 2 at the Satir Systemic Transformational Therapy, and she is a trauma sensitive yoga therapist.
As continued education, research and supervision is a core value of hers, Danielle continues to be trained extensively in the services she provides.
Societies over time have held different beliefs about how to look at the self and how to approach health and healing. In our westernized society, we frequently isolate the body and our physical nature when we look at health. However, in doing so, we ignore the interrelated nature of our mental, emotional, and spiritual parts and their combined impact on our health.
In this episode, we talk with Shannon Myers, an integrated medicine provider. She explains that our whole being is interconnected, and through seeing ourselves this way, we gain a better picture of what it means to be healthy and alive. Through this lens, Shannon shares what can cause both physical and mental illness, how we can approach healing, and what resources are available to us. Give this episode a listen to hear how interconnected we are as humans!
Key Takeaways
- A little bit about Shannon and what keeps her occupied
- The interconnectedness of the body and emotional wellbeing
- On trauma: what causes it, its effects on health, and the healing modalities
- On burnout: what it is, its effects on the body, and prevention
- The importance of creating boundaries for her
- Her approach as an integrative counselor in healing trauma and burnout
- What qualifies as trauma-informed care for her
- Resources she recommends on trauma-informed care
- Her thoughts on being kind to yourself
Links
- Shannon Myers on Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/shannon-myers-crc-cmhimp-18396648/
- Psychology Today - https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl
- Somatic Experiencing Training - https://traumahealing.org/
- IMMH - https://www.immh.org/
- IFM - https://www.ifm.org/functional-medicine/
- Mindful - https://www.mindful.org/what-is-mindfulness/
- Headspace app - https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.getsomeheadspace.android&hl=en≷=US
- Wake Up - https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=org.wakingup.android&hl=en≷=US
- Crisis Text Line - 741741
Bio
Shannon R. Myers, MS, CRC, CMHIMIP, is a Certified Rehabilitation Counselor, Certified Mental Health Integrative Medicine Provider, Research Fellow at The Harkin Institute, Adjunct Professor at Drake University in the Master of Counseling program, and is the Founder of Shannon Myers Consulting LLC and The Integrative Counselor, a niche, root-cause, private virtual Integrative Medicine Practice serving individuals, systems, and organizations across the U.S. Shannon is Trauma-Informed and an expert at systems change, collaboration, health outcomes, to advance Trauma-Informed, integrative, evidence-based, culturally appropriate, and innovative practices that are personalized, yet scalable; to create needed systemic change to address the bi-directional, root-cause nature of physical and mental health symptoms, disability, and prevention from the individual to the population levels.
Handles for social media:
Instagram: @The.Integrative.Counselor
Facebook: @TheIntegrativeCounselor
Twitter: @RootsCounselor
Have you ever wondered what is one of the greatest influences on your ability to trust yourself and others? In episode 32, we talk to Jim Farm about different attachment styles that form when we are young, and how they continue to influence every relationship that we have in our adulthood. Jim describes the four attachment styles: avoidant, anxious, disorganized, and secure. These styles continue throughout our life, unless we intentionally change them.
Jim explains how an insecure attachment can inhibit our ability to be vulnerable. This impacts our relationship with others and even things, which can lead to addiction. He also shares that trauma has an impact on our attachment bonds. Towards the end, Jim shares that no matter what attachment style we developed when we were young, we can learn how to be safe and accessible individuals in our adult life. Listen to this episode to learn more!
Key Takeaways
- A little about Jim and his work
- What attachment is for him
- What attachment styles are for him
- How to develop attachment styles for him
- His idea on the importance of understanding attachment styles for adults
- Attachment styles concerning addiction and trauma for him
- His bits of advice on unlearning insecure attachment
- Who he thinks are the safe people to go to
- Jim encourages the listeners to understand their relationship drivers
Book
- The Seven Desires of Every Heart by Debra Laaser - https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Desires-Every-Heart-ebook/dp/B001P0XPMO
Links
- Jim Farm on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimfarmfaithfulandtrue/
- Faithful & True website - https://faithfulandtrue.com/
Bio:
Jim is the clinical director at Faithful & True. Jim has extensive counseling experience with individuals, couples and families in multiple community and ministry settings. He provides counseling to men struggling with sexual purity issues, couples moving toward relational healing and growth, and facilitates small groups at our Men of Valor Intensive Workshops. Jim received his Master of Divinity and a Master of Arts in Marriage & Family Therapy from Bethel Seminary.
Body image is the picture we create in our mind about ourselves. It can be positive or negative, constant or ever-changing. Our parents, culture, friends, and even our thoughts contribute to how we form our body image. Are there things you would like to change about the way you look? And if those things changed, how would that impact your life? These are some of the questions we talk about in this episode with Dr. Katherine Iscoe, a leading expert in cultivating positive body image.
In this episode, we talk about the everyday struggles for men and women and how key factors and beliefs influence our self-view. Dr. Katherine also talks about how we can generate resilience in the face of stress and how to look for the much-needed ways to care for ourselves during challenging times. If you want to learn the first steps towards changing your view of your self-image, listen to this episode!
Key Takeaways
- Dr. Katherine on how prevailing negative body image is
- How negative body image affects one’s life for her
- Her idea of gender differences in negative body image
- Dr. Katherine on the impact of the brain on negative body image
- How do family and social media affect negative body image for her
- Her idea of gaining control over thoughts: its process and next steps
- She talks about self-care versus self-obsession
- Embracing body change for her
- What she thinks about doing things for yourself versus doing things for others
- She advises on how to change confidently
- Her theory of body confidence
- How to apply the step approach in the pandemic for her
- How she turns stress into strength
- Her advice on the importance of helping and being helped
- Managing energy for her
Book
- Body Confidence: The Scientific Approach on How to Shine from Within - https://www.amazon.com/Body-Confidence-Scientific-Approach-Within/dp/0646598635
- Untamed by Glennon Doyle - https://untamedbook.com/
Link
- Dr. Katherine Iscoe’s LinkedIn - http://au.linkedin.com/in/dr-katherine-iscoe-23601719
- Dr. Katherine Iscoe’s website - www.drkatherine.com
- Dr. Katherine Iscoe’s instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dr_katherine/?hl=n
Bio:
Dr Katherine Iscoe is a “Mindset Mentor”, and self-proclaimed shoe addict, with a mission to activate a person’s dormant potential through education, inspiration & a touch of tough love.
She is also a proud published author, an experienced and passionate speaker and the co-founder of the technology company MyFiziq Limited - an ASX-listed company with a multi-million-dollar market capitalisation.
Her unique approach to catalysing change, often described as an “educational and humorous roller coaster ride”, is informed by extensive research, personal experiences and academic qualifications including Bachelor of Arts in Health Sciences (Summa Cum Laude), Master of Science in Exercise Physiology and Health Sciences, a Doctorate in Exercise Physiology and Biotechnology and a Post-graduate Certificate in Counselling.
Most recently, Katherine has launched a series of new programs for individuals and teams, as well as mentoring for ambitious people wanting to make that next significant step towards their dream goals, while continuing to nurture a community that aims to bring together people from all walks of life, who inspire, support and nudge each other to accomplish great things.
See ya later 2020! Happy New Year! And a new year means New Year’s resolutions and goals. It can be easy to dream up the things we would like to change. Do you have goals related to your career, relationship, lifestyle, or hobbies? But to make the changes we desire, we need to consider what will really make us happy and what are the things we do to get in the way - the ways we self-sabotage.
In this episode we talk with Dr. Judy Ho, an expert on overcoming self-sabotage.
She shares with us how society influences our definition of happiness; a definition that may be unattainable; and where true happiness can be found. She will also unpack for us what self-sabotage is, why we do it, how we can look at patterns in our life that aren’t working, and how we can create lasting change.
To learn more about how to achieve your goals and find real happiness, listen to this episode!
Key Takeaways
- A little about Judy and her work
- Her explanation on Self-sabotage
- How self-sabotage prevents self-care for her
- Self-sabotage in personal relationships, career, and habits for her
- Drivers of self-sabotage explained by Judy
- How she thinks self-sabotage works on productivity
- How to break the habit of self-sabotage for her
- Practical steps and solutions to overcoming self-sabotage explained in detail by Judy
- How to pursue happiness for her -- values-based living
- Judy recommends making a blueprint for change
Links
- Dr. Judy Ho - https://www.drjudyho.com
- Stop Self-Sabotage Quiz - https://www.drjudyho.com/stopselfsabotagequiz
Book
- Stop Self-Sabotage by Dr. Judy Ho - https://www.drjudyho.com/stop-self-sabotage
This year has brought many unexpected turns, yet just around the corner is a new year… a fresh slate. Our approach to forgiveness affects our emotional, relational, and physical health. Harboring resentment, anger and unforgiveness creates roadblocks in our personal lives. Through the process of forgiveness, we are able to clear the road to fresh beginnings.
In this episode, we speak with Dr. Everett Worthington who is an expert on the subject of forgiveness. Through his research on the process of forgiveness, Dr. Worthington sheds light on what true forgiveness is and the many misconceptions around this topic. He explains to us how this concept can then be applied to our relationships, community, and even ourselves. Let’s start the new year with the healing process of true forgiveness.
Key Takeaways
- A little about himself and the work he is doing
- His definition of forgiveness: Decisional and Emotional
- How to replace the negative unforgiving emotions with positive other oriented emotions for him
- His own experience with forgiveness
- Misconceptions of forgiveness (what we think vs. what it actually is) for him
- Some of the benefits of experiencing true forgiveness for him: Spiritual, Relational, Mental Health and Physical Health
- An example on attaining forgiveness in an affair in marriage
- How to forgive without being asked for forgiveness for him
- His insight on verbalizing forgiveness for true forgiveness to happen
- His insight on forgiveness if hurts keep happening particularly in marriage affairs
- How does self-forgiveness differ and how does it work for him
- The importance of forgiveness in the community for him
Links
- Dr. Everett L. Worthington - www.evworthington-forgiveness.com
- Do-it-Yourself (DIY) Workbooks - http://www.evworthington-forgiveness.com/diy-workbooks
Dr. Everett L. Worthington Bio:
Everett L Worthington, Jr. is Commonwealth Professor Emeritus at Virginia Commonwealth University. He is a licensed clinical psychologist in Virginia, and he has published over 40 books and over 500 articles or chapters, most of which are on forgiveness and other virtues. His mission in life is to do all he can to promote forgiveness in every willing heart, home, and homeland.
This week we speak with Beth Miller on the topic of spirituality. This episode is not about one particular religion, but rather about how spirituality is one important aspect of emotional well-being. Some of the important aspects of spirituality are faith, love, surrendering, and forgiveness. Beth shares about her new book, and how loss and anger can actually be healthy aspects of emotional well-being.
Beth shares how being spiritually alive also means living in the present moment, and how there are many things that get in the way of this. She also addresses the importance of community on our spiritual journey. Whether you are exploring spirituality or have a deep rooted faith, this episode will take a look at how spirituality is an important component on your well-being journey.
Key Takeaways
- A little about herself and the work she’s doing
- What spirituality is exactly
- What the ampersand represents for her
- Some examples of the ampersand
- What the word “surrender” means to her
- What love is for her
- A little bit about her book
- What loss can teach people about spirituality
- What post traumatic growth means
- What “clean anger” means
- How anger and grief leads one to live a more authentic life
- On the idea of welcoming “what is”
- What it means to be a spiritual person and have a spiritual practice today
- How the pandemic has affected spirituality
- What it feels like to be spiritually alive
- How one begins the journey of healing
- What forgiveness looks like
- What faith is for her
- How people can find her online and get more information
Links
- Faithful Counselling - https://www.faithfulcounseling.com/
- Thrive Resources Website - http://www.thriveresources.net/
- Sue Monk Kidd - https://suemonkkidd.com/
Book
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melodie Beattie - https://www.amazon.com/Codependent-No-More-Controlling-Yourself/dp/0894864025
Beth Miller Bio:
Beth Miller is a pastoral counselor residing in the city of Chicago. Beth and her husband, Greg, founded Thrive Resources, an organization that helps support people in their journey of emotional and spiritual health through small groups, retreats and one on one connections.
Beth is a graduate of Bethel Seminary where she received her Masters and North Park Theological Seminary where she was trained as a spiritual director. She has recently authored What Loss Can Teach Us: A Sacred Pathway to Growth and Healing, being released on 2/21. She is the mom of two great young adult guys, Jacob and Caleb, and a very goofy rescue dog, Lucy.
What is it like to work on the front lines in this unprecedented pandemic? Are you a front line worker and have your own story to tell? In this very special episode, we will speak with Dr. Audrey Shafer who is the founder and director of the Medicine and the Muse Program at Stanford University and hear from front line workers about their experiences working during these difficult times.
We will learn that medicine is an art, and that there is a great amount of ambivalence and decision fatigue that accompanies front line workers. Finding expression through the arts, whether it is writing, painting, dance, or any other expression, can be a powerful tool to work through emotions and unload the weight of these heavy experiences.
To show our thanks to our front line workers, we will also announce a gift basket giveaway generously supplied by these local companies: Butter Bakery Cafe, Copperwing Distillery, The Dampfwerk Distillery Cocktail Lounge, Dogwood Coffee Co., Haven Nail Studio, Honey and Rye Bakehouse, Minnetonka Nothing Bundt Cakes, Minnesota Candle Co., Spot Spas, Sota Clothing, Sweet Jules Gifts, and Patisserie 46. Thank you for your support!
You can nominate a front line worker on our instagram page: ButReallyHowAreYou.Podcast
Key Takeaways
- Recording of Amrapali Maitra sharing her thoughts and experiences on the COVID-19 pandemic
- Recording of Devon Schuster sharing her thoughts and experiences on the COVID-19 pandemic
- Recording of Anastasia Rose Zvonek sharing her thoughts and experiences on the COVID-19 pandemic
- Interview proper with Dr. Audrey Shafer
- Her role in the medical field and how she became a faculty member at Stanford
- Some of the emotional stresses faced by medical professionals
- Her thoughts on ambiguity in the medical field
- Some of the benefits of connecting with one’s human side through art
- Basic changes she has seen for stresses around COVID-19 as a medical professional
- Sharing of a piece she wrote
Link
- Denise Levertov - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denise_Levertov
Audrey Shafer Bio:
Audrey Shafer, MD is Professor of Anesthesiology, Perioperative and Pain Medicine, Stanford University School of Medicine / Veterans Affairs Palo Alto Health Care System; founder and director, Stanford Medicine & the Muse Program, Stanford Center for Biomedical Ethics; co-director, Biomedical Ethics and Medical Humanities Scholarly Concentration; and co-founder of Pegasus Physician Writers.
Originally from Philadelphia, she completed her undergraduate studies at Harvard University, medical school at Stanford, anesthesiology training at University of Pennsylvania, and research fellowship at Stanford. Courses she teaches include Medical Humanities and the Arts.
Amrapali Maitra is a resident physician and primary care in Internal Medicine at Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston, MA. She is also a medical anthropologist and writer. Her website is https://www.amrapalimaitra.com/
Devon Schuster, a certified registered nurse anesthetist, graduated with a BSN in nursing from the University of North Dakota and a master’s degree in nurse anesthesia from Minneapolis School of Anesthesia.
Anastasia Rose Zvonek is the proud mom to a puppy Samoyed Rheia. She enjoys teaching yoga outside of working as a CRNA. Originally she is from Elmhurst, Illinois but spent the last 6 years living in Minnesota. Plans move to Colorado with her husband one day.
We know this year has been tough. Many of us have experienced an increase in stress and anxiety. Dr. Rosean Bishop is a licensed psychologist at the Mayo Clinic Health Care System and an expert resource on the topic of anxiety. In this episode we talk about what causes our anxiety and what symptoms are associated with the various types of anxiety.
Dr. Bishop also shares how we can manage our anxiety better. She shares when it’s appropriate to introduce a medication to help manage our symptoms, and when we can manage our stress on our own. Most importantly, she gives us cognitive, psychological, and mental examples for ways we can better manage our anxiety. Listen to this episode to find out more!
Key Takeaways
- A little about herself
- Common stressors that contribute to people’s stress and anxiety
- Difference between stress and anxiety
- Common symptoms of anxiety
- Different types of anxiety
- The most prevalent types of anxiety disorder
- Distinguishing features of anxiety
- What anxiety contagion is
- Why humans have anxiety
- When introducing medication for anxiety is appropriate
- What makes people apprehensive about taking anxiety medications
- Other ways people can manage their stress
- What diaphragmatic or belly breathing is
- The role of and humor in your well-being
- What perspective taking is all about
- Cognitive strategies she’ll recommend
- Why it pays to stay in the present moment
- How passion and joy can contribute to resilience
- Resources she can point the listeners to
- Final thoughts she wants to leave listeners with
Links
- Greater Good Science Center - https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/
- Resilient Option - https://www.resilientoption.com/
- Headspace - https://www.headspace.com/
- Calm - https://www.calm.com/
- Dare - https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=ie.armour.dare2&hl=en≷=US
- Mindshift - http://myhealthapps.net/app/details/463/mindshift
Dr. Rosean Bishop Bio
Rosean Bishop, PhD, is a licensed psychologist. She currently works for Mayo Clinic Health System in Mankato training family medicine residents in behavioral science and seeing patients in the primary care setting.
Family dynamics are always tricky to navigate, especially around the holiday season. Dr. Jessica Lougheed focuses her research on family dynamics, and specifically on conflict resolution. In this episode she shares two important scales family can use to measure a healthy family dynamic:
1) family cohesion: the balance between separateness and connectedness
2) family flexibility: the balance between stability and change.
Family conflict is a natural part of human life and can be healthy if it’s resolved in an appropriate way.
Dr. Lougheed also gives practical techniques for resolving conflicts. Some examples include meta communication where families talk about how they communicate, defensive statements, mindful listening, and “I” statements.
Most importantly, she shares how emotional repair after conflict can lead to better connections within relationships. This episode will help prepare you for navigating your family dynamics this holiday season and beyond!
Key Takeaways
- A little bit about herself and the work she’s doing
- What a family system is
- Difference between healthy and unhealthy family dynamics
- How the family dynamics can change overtime
- Her thoughts on conflicts between family members
- What emotional repair is
- How family dynamics change around the holidays
- General conflict resolution strategies
- What meta-communication means
- What defensiveness is and what happens when you’re defensive
- What “I statements” are
- What globalizing statements are
- How to deal with family issues that impact your life
- Her last message to the listeners
Dr. Jessica Lougheed Bio:
Dr. Jessica Lougheed holds a PhD in Developmental Psychology from Queen’s University (Ontario, Canada). She is currently an Assistant Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of British Columbia Okanagan, where she leads the Emotion Dynamics Lab.
Her research is focused on emotional development in adolescence, specifically, how emotion dynamics between parents and adolescents are related to mental health and well-being.
She is especially interested in dynamics related to conflicts, and in what ways conflicts with parents may be a typical part of adolescent development versus when conflict dynamics may be associated with adjustment difficulties.
Links:
My research website: https://jplougheed.com
Websites with information for parents on adolescent issues:
Center for Parent and Teen Communication: https://parentandteen.com
Center for the Developing Adolescent: https://developingadolescent.org
Some say it’s the most wonderful time of the year—the holidays are just around the corner! We all have expectations about how the holidays will go, whether it’s family traditions or what we’ve learned from Hallmark movies. Some love the holidays, but for others it may bring up loss or disappointment. While the holidays are often tricky to navigate, the pandemic complicates things even more. We chat with Debbie Laaser again as she sheds some light on difficult holiday situations.
In this episode we will talk about expectations, family dynamics, loneliness, disappointment, being too busy, finances, and self care. We hope this discussion provides some ideas for how we can still make the 2020 holiday season special.
Key Takeaways
- Common emotions people experience as the holidays are approaching
- How the pandemic has changed people’s feelings about the holidays
- Her thoughts on change
- Her take on people’s expectations about the holidays
- What to do when disappointment and other emotions ruin the present moment
- What a distorted core belief is
- One way to minimize difficult emotions when things don’t go your way
- How to handle disagreements during the holidays
- How to manage other people’s feelings and expectations
- How to navigate differences in beliefs
- How to handle loneliness during the holidays
- How people can navigate their commitments during the holidays
- How to manage your finances during the holidays
- How to keep your self-care routine during the holidays
- How to talk to yourself when you feel like you have not accomplished much
- What taking care of yourself looks like during the holidays
- Her final message to the listeners
Debbie Laaser Bio
Debbie Laaser, M.A., LMFT is a licensed marriage and family therapist and was involved in recovery with her husband, Mark, for over thirty years. After Mark’s passing in 2019, she became the Director of Faithful & True. Debbie has facilitated therapy groups and counseled relationally betrayed wives for over 20 years.
She is the author of Shattered Vows and co-author with Mark of Seven Desires and A Toolkit for Growth: Practical Recovery Tools for Individuals and Couples. Debbie’s recent research project, “Posttraumatic Growth in Relationally Betrayed Women” was published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.
Has the phrase ‘I’m not good enough’ ever crossed your mind? It could be, I’m not good enough for this job, for this partner, to be on the team, or to make the cut. This is a common phrase that occurs in people’s minds, and it reveals a level of self-doubt that we believe about ourselves.
This is part two of the Satir Model discussion. In this episode, Linda Lucas will share a little more about the Satir method, specifically how it related to our view of ourselves. We will discuss the difference between self-doubt and self-esteem, and share what it means to live a congruent life. You will learn about how your belief system develops, and how you can learn to have a more positive self-image. Showing kindness and empathy towards ourselves is an essential ingredient for developing self-esteem.
Key Takeaways
- A little about herself and the work she’s doing
- How the Satir Model is different from the others
- What congruence is
- What the self is exactly and how it impacts a person’s view of one’s self
- Difference between self-doubt and self-esteem
- What contributes to self-esteem
- How the shift from self-esteem to self-doubt happens
- How the belief systems are developed and how it affects one’s life
- Categories of belief systems people have to work through
- How to have a more positive self-esteem
- What being congruent means
- How to begin the process of transformational change
- What the goal of their therapy is
Links
- Satir Transformational Systemic Therapy (STST) - https://satirpacific.org/uploads/documents/Satir%20Transformational%20Systemic%20Therapy%20in%20Brief.pdf
- Butterfly (on Hulu) - https://www.hulu.com/series/butterfly-2018-9ad0a089-c7cb-4748-a9e6-84e726ffa237
Book
- The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference by Malcolm Gladwell - https://www.amazon.com/Tipping-Point-Little-Things-Difference/dp/0316346624
Linda J. Lucas Bio:
Linda J Lucas, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, MA, LCPC, has extensive training in Satir Transformational Systemic Therapy. Linda is an enthusiastic, experienced trainer and provides training for professionals, teachers, educators, staff and families working with at-risk adolescents, attachment issues, addictions, couples, families, grief and loss, and self-care.
She earned her Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology from Sangamon State University in Springfield, Illinois, USA, and earned a Master of Arts in Human Developmental Counseling at the University of Illinois, Springfield, Illinois, USA. Linda studied Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy (attachment therapy) with Daniel A. Hughes.
Linda is the Secretary of the Board of Directors of the Satir Institute of the Pacific, past president of the Satir Institute of the Pacific, and a Clinical member of the Satir Institute of the Pacific, a member of the Satir Institute of the Pacific Training Directorate, and a member of the American Counseling Association.
She is an approved trainer and faculty for the Banmen Satir China Management Center, Beijing, China. Linda is a certified supervisor for Idaho licensed professional counselors. Linda travels throughout the world conducting Satir Transformational Systemic Therapy experiential, dynamic workshops and programs. Linda also guides and facilitates Soul Contact/hypnosis regression sessions. She has an independent online therapy practice.
In this episode, we learn about the Satir method of psychology, created by Virginia Satir. A pioneer in the the field, Satir took a different approach to family dynamics and became known known as the “Mother of Family Therapy.”
Jennifer Nagel is an amazing psychologist who has had a leading role in the Satir Institute of the Pacific and other Satir networks. In this episode, Jennifer discusses how we develop our belief system and how this impacts our everyday experiences. She talks about ways to come back into our own self—how to become more in touch with our own feelings and what our body is telling us.
We also discuss how to recognize your belief systems and how to understand how it fits in today’s world. Jennifer shares about the Iceberg Model, where most of our understanding of self is beneath the surface. We hope this episode will help you get more in touch with yourself.
Key Takeaways
- A little about her and the work she’s doing
- What the Satir model is and what makes it different
- What it means to tap into one’s self
- How to recognize when you’re not connected to yourself
- What the Satir patterns of coping are
- Different types of coping
- Other ways people cope
- What it means to allow the body to “speak”
- What the iceberg metaphor in the Satir model is all about
- What it means for feelings to have “feelings”
- How to take ownership of your experiences rather than blaming others
- How the iceberg metaphor plays out in real life
- How to connect with yourself
- How to learn to tap into your body
- How to understand yourself more
- How to work through different beliefs and influences
- How being connected can help you make wise decisions
- Why gratitude is so important
- What it means when you’re congruent
- What the alternative to coping is
- Resources and books she recommends
Links
- Jennifer Nagel Counselling Website - https://www.jennifernagelcounselling.com
- Virginia Satir - https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/therapy/the-mother-of-family-therapy-virginia-satir/
- Satir Institute of the Pacific - https://satirpacific.org/
- Virginia Satir Global Network - https://satirglobal.org/
Books
- Magic in the Muck: Finding Grace in Chaos by Jennifer Nagel - https://www.amazon.com/Magic-Muck-Finding-Grace-Chaos/dp/1775308405
- The Satir Model: Family Therapy and Beyond by Virginia Satir - https://www.amazon.com/Satir-Model-Family-Therapy-Beyond/dp/0831400781
- Peoplemaking by Virginia Satir - https://www.amazon.com/Peoplemaking-Condor-Books-Virginia-Satir/dp/0285648721
Jennifer Nagel Bio:
Jennifer Nagel, MA, RCC has extensive training in the Satir Model and has been leading training for a diversity of groups including therapists, educators, school programs, community groups, at-risk adolescents, therapeutic programs, non-profit organizations and corporate groups. She has presented many workshops and training programs internationally, and works regularly in Canada, China, and Kenya.
How we are raised and who raises us is one of the greatest influences on our lives. Some of us easily find faults in our parents or wish they had shown up in different ways. For others of us, we hold our parents in high esteem and believe they did a great job. But none of us had perfect parents.
It can be hard to admit that our parents may have fallen short at times and it can be even harder to examine how this may have impacted us. It all left an imprint on our lives.
In this episode, we talk with Dr. Lindsay Gibson about emotionally immature parents. We discuss things such as black and white thinking, moral obligation, a low tolerance for stress, and pressuring other people to meet one’s own needs. She describes four different types of parents—emotional, driven, passive, and rejecting—and how they impact us as children.
Dr. Lindsay also discusses what we can do with this information and how we can improve our relationships with our parents and our own children. This is a really insightful episode that will help you look at the generational effects of your family’s emotional well-being.
Key takeaways
- A little about herself and the work she’s doing
- Ways parents influence their children
- What is meant by emotionally immature parents
- What affective realism is
- Four different types of parents
- How emotionally immature parents can affect their children’s boundaries
- What narcissistic personality disorder is
- How children should communicate with emotionally immature parents
- How to be a relationship leader
- How to teach your parents what your values are
- How children of emotionally immature parents should reconnect with their true selves
- Last thoughts she wants to share with the listeners
Books
- Who You Were Meant to Be: A Guide to Finding or Recovering Your Life’s Purpose by Lindsay C. Gibson - https://www.amazon.com/Who-You-Were-Meant-Recovering-ebook/dp/B01HLN6M78
- Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson - https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents/dp/1626251703
Dr. Lindsay Gibson Bio:
Lindsay C. Gibson holds both a Master’s and Doctoral Degree in clinical psychology. She has been a psychodiagnostician and psychotherapist for over thirty years, working in both public and private practice. In the past, Dr. Gibson has served as an Adjunct Assistant Professor for the Virginia Consortium Program for Clinical Psychology, teaching doctoral students clinical theory and psychotherapeutic techniques.
Dr. Gibson is the author of three books, Who You Were Meant to Be, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, and Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents. She has also written a monthly column on Well-Being for Tidewater Women magazine (www.tidewaterwomen.com) for over twenty years. Dr. Gibson lives and works in Virginia Beach, Virginia.
This year hasn't been easy. And we're still in a pandemic, folks. Fortunately, there are researchers who are trying to learn how we can become more resilient while dealing with COVID-19 related stresses for frontline workers and families.
In this episode, researcher Talya Feldman shares about the challenges we're still facing during the pandemic and how we can learn and grow from them. Sleep and support are just two of the essential ingredients to maintaining our resilience—tune in to learn more!
Learn some practical ways to gain resilience. Her research team has created a protocol for helping deal with the pandemic related stresses. She gives us a tool box full of tips and tricks we can use at home. She explains some practical ways we can learn to recenter and calm ourselves, even when the world around us may seem a little hectic.
Key takeaways
- A little about her, her background, and the work she’s doing
- What it means to have second trauma and what it can lead to
- Some of the factors that predict the development of PTSD
- What good sleep looks like and why it’s important
- What resilience is and how it relates to first responders
- What her new COVID-19 related project is
- Main problems she sees affecting frontline workers
- Therapies that are available
- Some skills she’s using from behavioral therapies to help frontline workers
- Tools and practices people can use at home
- Techniques people can use to fill their cups
- Problem-solving tools you have but don’t acknowledge
- What “dropping anchor” is all about
- What S.M.A.R.T. goals stands for
- How people can get ahold of her
Bio:
Talya is a 4th year doctoral student in the Clinical Psychology program at the University of Texas at Austin and received her bachelor’s degree in psychology from Yale University. She works with Dr. Caryn Carlson and Dr. Bob Josephs on research examining PTSD, stress, and resilience in first responders. Prior to graduate school she served as the Senior Director of Operations for IsraAID-US, a global humanitarian aid organization, and worked on psychosocial support interventions in refugee camps around the world. In particular, she worked in Lesvos, Greece with refugees from Syria, Iraq, and Afghanistan.
Problems and communication occur with every single romantic relationship. The good news is that you’re not alone. The Gottman Institute even deems poor communication in relationships a “standard perpetual problem.” Dr. John Crossen, a certified masters Gottman therapist, has been involved in this research at the institute for years.
In this episode, we discuss the standard perpetual problems that every couple faces. Dr. Crossen also shares the things we do in our relationships that lead to divorce or separation, according to research—known as the four horsemen of the apocalypse. Don’t worry, we will also discuss the tools for repairing these issues.
This episode answers questions you may have about your relationship, but are perhaps too afraid to ask about or share with others. Give this episode a listen if you have ever wondered if your relationship would last—Dr. Crossen will share research based evidence to help answer this question.
Key takeaways
- The work he’s doing and what he’s focusing on
- What the Gottman Institute is all about
- The four communication dysfunctions
- What attunement is all about and why it’s important
- Break down of the four communication dysfunctions
- Examples of contempt
- What the standard perpetual problems are
- How emotional mismatch plays out in a healthy and unhealthy relationships
- How people should act when a mismatch occurs
- How to calm yourself down when you’re flooded
- His last thoughts on communication between couples
Link
The Gottman Institute - https://www.gottman.com/
Dr. John Crossen Bio
Dr. John “Jack” Crossen completed his doctorate specializing in Clinical Psychology at the University of New Mexico in 1985. Next, at Oregon Health & Science University he completed two post-doctoral years as Chief Resident in Medical Psychology. Since then as an OHSU faculty member he has taught classes, led behavioral health services for students, published research, and provided clinical services in collaboration with primary care providers and specialists. He was named Fellow of the National Academy of Clinical Neuropsychology in 2008 for his research contributions and clinical services. He continues to co-lead Balint groups in the Department of Family Medicine.
He became a certified Gottman couple’s therapist in 2008 and soon after was certified to offer both Art and Science of Love and Seven Principles workshops for couples. He presented Grand Rounds at OHSU on Medical Marriages and Gottman Couple Therapy. Since 2015 he has been a Master Trainer for therapists in all levels of Gottman therapy. He continues to participate in research and innovations sponsored by The Gottman Institute. With deep connections to OHSU, he has a special bond with couples working in health care, biomedical research and teaching. More about his work with couples is found at his website, Couplesdoingbetter.com.
Communication is important in all aspects of our lives, but why is it at work that our communication style can look incredibly different from when we are away from our job? Brandon Smith is a psychologist who specializes in communication in the working environment. In this episode we will discuss what are healthy and dysfunctional workplace dynamics.
In this episode, Brandon shares that we can have boundaries while on the job. We talk about the energy that is created in the workplace environment by the emotions and attitude we present at work. He will give us some great perspectives on how we can be influencers to change our work place environment to be more positive. Finally, Brandon shares about his new book, which is about learning when to be urgent in life, and when we can decide it is appropriate to take a more relaxed approach. This episode is full of information on how we can improve our communication in our working environment.
Key takeaways
- A little about him and the work he does
- What a healthy and dysfunctional work dynamic looks like
- Why everyone should know their roles and why this can be tricky
- What it means to have boundaries at work
- What emotional contagion is
- What emotional vampires are and how you should deal with them
- How to create boundaries and healthy emotional environment at work
- Why people pick up other people’s energy and how it works
- How not to take high emotions from the workplace and bring them home
- What positive feedbacks and interactions look like
- Two pitfalls you’ll fall into when you don’t communicate properly at work
- How to confront someone about a hard issue
- How to stay within your boundaries
- The real premise of his book
- How not to put hot sauce on everything when you’re feeling anxious
- His final thoughts for the listeners
Book
- The Hot Sauce Principle: How to Live and Lead in a World Where Everything is Urgent All of the Time by Brandon M. Smith - https://www.amazon.com/Hot-Sauce-Principle-Everything-Urgent/dp/1952233097
Brandon Smith Bio:
Brandon Smith is a leading expert in leadership communication and curer of workplace dysfunction. Known as “The Workplace Therapist” and host of The Workplace Therapist podcast, Brandon is a sought- after executive coach, TEDx speaker, author and award-winning business school instructor.
He is the President of The Worksmiths, LLC, an executive coaching and leadership development firm whose clients include numerous Fortune 500 companies. Since establishing his practice in 2005, Brandon has personally coached more than 1,000 leaders and executives across the globe.
Brandon received an undergraduate degree from Vanderbilt University with a concentration in communications and team dynamics. His graduate work includes an MS in counseling from Georgia State University as well as an MBA from Emory University’s Goizueta Business School.
In episode 2 of our communication series we learn about what is said when no one is speaking. This is non-verbal communication. Dr. David Matsumoto is the leading expert in the field of non-verbal communication—he and his team at Humintell have focused their research on body language and facial expression.
Dr. Matsumoto talks about the common emotions in every culture and how facial expressions help us recognize them. As much as we would like to think we can hide how we feel, Dr. Matsumoto shares that our facial reactions often occur before we can hide our true emotions. (So maybe that RBF is saying more than we think?) Learn about how to read others and pick up on what they’re saying without speaking any words.
This episode is the second in our 4-part communication series. We’re diving into different types of communication and how we can all be better communicators with one another.
Key takeaways
- What he does and what his work is focused on
- What non-verbal communication is and why it’s important
- Seven universal emotion categories that are expressed universally in our face
- What the universal triggers are
- How to layer questions and what it is for
- Practical things you can do to see microexpressions reliably
- Some of the most fascinating research they have done
- How to use facial expression to change situations
- How modern technology has affected communication
- Best way to improve communication with family, friends, and patients
- How to intentionally communicate with family and friends
- How understanding communication promotes cross-cultural understanding
- Last thoughts he’d like to share with the listeners
Links
- Humintell - https://www.humintell.com
Dr. David Matsumoto Bio
Dr. David Matsumoto, Director of Humintell, is a renowned expert in the field of microexpressions, facial expression, gesture, nonverbal behavior, emotion and culture. He has published over 400+ articles, manuscripts, book chapters and books on these subjects.
Since 1989 Matsumoto has been a Professor of Psychology at San Francisco State University. He is also the founder and director of SFSU’s Culture and Emotion Research Laboratory. The laboratory focuses on studies involving culture, emotion, social interaction and communication.
In 2009, Matsumoto was one of the select few to receive the prestigious Minerva Grant; a $1.9 million grant from the US Department of Defense to examine the role of emotions in ideologically-based groups.
In addition to his work at Humintell and San Francisco State University, Matsumoto is the author of numerous books and articles. He also served as the Editor-in-Chief for the Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology and is an Editor of the Culture and Diversity Section for the Social and Personality Psychology Compass.
Matsumoto is also an Editorial Board Member for Personality and Social Psychology Review, Asian Journal of Social Psychology, Asian Psychologist, Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, Motivation and Emotion, Cognition and Emotion, Human Communication, Journal of Comparative Family Studies and Archives of Budo.
Matsumoto is also the founder and program director of the East Bay Judo Institute in El Cerrito, California. He holds a 7th degree black belt and well as class A Coaching and Referee Licenses. He has won countless awards, including the US Olympic Committee’s Coach of the Year Award in 2003.
In addition to holding various positions within the United States Judo Federation and USA Judo, Matsumoto served as the head coach of the 1996 Atlanta Olympic Judo Team and was the Team Leader for the 2000 Sydney Olympic Judo Team.
Matsumoto first began studying psychology at the University of Michigan at Ann A
Communication is an important aspect in any human relationship. So how can something so important lead to mixed messages? Bento Leal, a relationship skills trainer and author, focuses on helping individuals improve their communication skills and the importance of empathy—an essential ingredient in communication.
In this episode, Bento shares some of the obstacles that often prevent effective communication. He also shares how we can use empathy to become active listeners and speakers in our communication with others. He gives practical advice about how to structure our messages so that they can easily be heard and understood.
Communication is a necessary skill in any relationship, and we can improve this skill by learning about and practicing effective communication.
This episode also kicks off our 4-part communication series. We’ll dive into different types of communication and how we can all be better communicators with one another.
Key takeaways
A little about himself and the work he’s doing
Biggest problems in interpersonal communication
Difference between sympathy and empathy
What emphatic awareness is
How to figure out your communication patterns and that behaviors that are causing issues in your relationships
The role body language plays in communication
His advice to those who want to change their communication patterns
The 3As in his book
His thoughts on “thinking before speaking”
How to communicate effectively and in a calm way when you don’t like the other person
How stress gets in the way of effective communication
What self-care is for him
Links
Bento Leal Website - https://bentoleal.com
The Marriage Course by Nicky and Sila Lee - https://themarriagecourse.org/try/the-marriage-course
Mahatma Gandhi - https://www.biography.com/activist/mahatma-gandhi
Martin Luther King Jr. - https://www.nobelprize.org/prizes/peace/1964/king/biographical/
Mother Teresa - https://www.nobelprize.org/prizes/peace/1979/teresa/biographical/
Abraham Lincoln - https://www.whitehouse.gov/about-the-white-house/presidents/abraham-lincoln/
Books
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change by Stephen R. Covey - https://www.amazon.com/Habits-Highly-Effective-People-Powerful/dp/0743269519
4 Essential Keys to Effective Communication in Love, Life, Work - Anywhere! By Bento Leal - https://www.amazon.com/Essential-Keys-Effective-Communication-Love/dp/B075TK6M6X
The Five Language of Apology: How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships by Gary Chapman - https://www.amazon.com/Five-Languages-Apology-Experience-Relationships/dp/1881273571
Bento Leal Bio:
Bento Leal is a Relationships Skills Trainer and author who has taught marriage and relationship skills classes and parenting skills classes to more than 2,500 couples and singles at family resource centers, community organizations, churches, substance abuse recovery programs, county jails, and federal prison throughout California.
In 2017, he published his first book “4 Essential Keys to Effective Communication in Love, Life, Work—Anywhere!” It continues to be an Amazon Bestseller in several categories and has sold more
To achieve emotional and mental well-being, our brain needs to be healthy. Dr. Shane Creado is a board certified psychiatrist and sleep medicine doctor. This episode is all about how to get a healthy brain.
Brain health includes multiple factors, including sleep, nutrition, toxins, exercise, and your environment. Dr. Creado talks us through these factors and takes a deep dive on the importance of sleep! This episode is full of practical tips to help you improve your brain health. A healthy brain is the foundation for healthy mental and emotional well-being!
Key takeaways
- A little about himself and the work he’s doing
- His definition of mental and emotional well-being and how it relates to brain health
- His work on brain health, what it looks like, and what it means
- How to navigate life’s stresses
- How to equip the body to effectively handle life’s stresses
- The importance of sleep
- What a healthy sleep cycle/habit looks like
- First rule to follow when you deviate from your usual sleep cycle
- Other things you can do to take care of your health
- How alcohol and alcohol consumption affects the brain
- How having a purpose can impact brain health and emotional well-being
Links
- Jordan Peterson - https://www.jordanbpeterson.com
- Jim Kwik - https://kwiklearning.com
- Stephen Covey - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Covey
- David Sinclair - https://genetics.med.harvard.edu/sinclair/people/sinclair.php
- Cristiano Ronaldo - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cristiano_Ronaldo
- Epigenetics - https://ghr.nlm.nih.gov/primer/howgeneswork/epigenome
- Think Dirty App - https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.thinkdirty.thinkdirtyapp&hl=en
Book
- Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl - https://www.amazon.com/Mans-Search-Meaning-Viktor-Frankl/dp/080701429X
Dr. Shane Creado Bio:
Dr Creado is a physical therapist, brain health specialist, and integrative psychiatrist. He is double board-certified in sleep medicine and psychiatry. He works not only on the treatment of sleep disorders, but also on perfecting and optimizing sleep, thereby boosting sports performance and workplace productivity. He is on the board for the International Society for Sports Psychiatry, and works with the NBA Players Association, PGA tour Europe, USOPC (US Olympic and Paralympic Committee) and Amen Clinics.
In addition to working with individual patients, he consults with sports teams to design team-specific and athlete-specific sleep guidelines and strategies off-season, in-season and pre-season, to boost performance.
He provides ‘Sleep Retreats’ to organizations/ companies, which involve education on sleep and performance, screening for sleep disorders, and specific strategies to improve sleep and performance.
He is the host of the Overcoming Insomnia course, available on Amen University (https://brainmd.com/overcoming-insomnia-course), which teaches the best evidence-based strategies to improve sleep, and has designed a best-selling sleep supplement for BrainMD, called Put Me To Sleep.
The death of George Floyd during the pandemic forever changed the world. His brutal death demonstrates that racism is still an issue in our modern world today. This issue is too important not to talk about, so it is imperative we look at the psychology and history behind racism.
For over 20 years, Dr. Richard Lee has been researching racial, ethnic, and migration experiences of immigrant and minoritized youth and families and how these experiences impact their development and mental health. As a current professor at the University of Minnesota, in the same city where George Floyd’s death occurred, he has played a key role in addressing and speaking out against racism.
Dr. Richard Lee will share about how to talk with your children about racism, the psychology behind it, and how we can be a part of the solution for changing our world today.
Key takeaways
- A little bit about himself and the research he’s doing
- Some of he studies he’s done before and the recent ones he’s doing
- Important words he uses in his research
- Best way to respond to racism and discrimination
- How children can develop a good identity of self
- Other obstacles children encounter when developing their identities
- How a teacher can properly address discrimination in the classroom
- How Minneapolis has reacted to the death of George Floyd
- What the core of the problem is
- The psychology of racism and how it develops in people’s minds
- How to embrace other people’s ethnic backgrounds in a healthy way
- What he recommends people do
Dr. Richard Lee Bio:
Richard M Lee, PhD is a Distinguished McKnight University Professor and Distinguished University Teaching Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Minnesota, Twin Cities. For over 20 years, he has been conducting research on the racial, ethnic, and migration experiences of immigrant and minoritized youth and families and how these experiences impact their development and mental health. His recent research centers on how parents can facilitate the development of a healthy ethnic and racial identity and can prepare children to respond to racism and discrimination. Dr. Lee has received federal research grants from the National Institutes of Health and the National Science Foundation and has published over 100 peer-reviewed journal articles. He is a past president of the Asian American Psychological Association and past editor of Cultural Diversity and Ethnic Minority Psychology.
Grief is a common emotion. It can be big or small. Big in the event of losing a loved one or experiencing a break up. And small in the everyday changes living through a pandemic has created. While it’s a common human experience, it’s often difficult to share it or understand how to work through it.
Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor is a top researcher in the field of psychology and grief. In this episode we discuss what causes grief, how it manifests in our body and mind, and how to work through it. She shares how to find meaning and purpose in our life in the wake of loss.
Key takeaways
- A little about the work she does
- What grief is
- Some causes of grief
- The impact of the pandemic on children
- Difference between grief and grieving
- What grief looks like physically and mentally
- Changes brought about by the pandemic
- The stages of grief
- What to do when feelings of grief comes up
- What happens when you don’t deal with your grief
- What to do when you can’t get past your grief
- What complicated grief means
- Difference between grieving for a loved one versus loss of a relationship
- How to stop ruminating over the loss of something
- Practical ways people can move through grief
- Resources that can help
- How to help children go through grief
- How to go about building resilience and finding meaning
- One of the hidden secrets of grieving
Links
- 5 Stages of Grief (Kubler-Ross Model) - https://www.psycom.net/depression.central.grief.html
- Dual Process of Coping with Bereavement by Margaret Stroebe and Henk Schut - https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10848151/
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) - https://www.cdc.gov
- National Institutes of Health (NIH) - https://www.nih.gov
- Fred Rogers - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_Rogers
Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor Bio:
Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor received her undergraduate degree from Northwestern University, and her graduate degree in clinical psychology from the University of Arizona in 2004. Following her post-doctoral fellowship at the Cousins Center for Psychoneuroimmunology at UCLA, she received a K award from the National Institute on Aging and was an Assistant Professor in Residence at the Department of Psychiatry and Biobehavioral Science at UCLA. In 2012, she was hired by the University of Arizona Psychology Department, where she is currently an Associate Professor and Director of Clinical Training, and directs the Grief, Loss and Social Stress (GLASS) Lab.
Dr. O’Connor’s scientific interest is in emotions, at the experiential and the physiological level. Her work has primarily focused on a bereaved population, because of the wide-ranging emotional responses to this universal and stressful event. Scientific contributions from her research demonstrate biomarkers of adaptation during grief, primarily in the autonomic and endocrine stress response systems, gene expression, and the immune system. Notably, her research integrates the relationship between both brain and peripheral physiology. Finally, her work in clinical psychology has helped to validate the diagnosis of Complicated Grief, and points to mechanisms that may maintain this disorder.
Dr. O’Connor is a leader in the area of grief research, with over 50 peer-reviewed publications, and received a 75th Anniversary Award from the American Psychosomatic Society.
Liquor sales have soared through the roof with the onset of the global pandemic. You’re not alone if your alcohol consumption has increased this year. Do you ever wonder how much is okay? Have you asked yourself if you should cut back?
In this episode, we talk with Dr. Jorja Jamison from Hazelden Betty Ford Graduate School of Addiction Studies. She talks about substance abuse disorders, ways to reflect on our own alcohol use, and how to recognize when we or someone we know has a problem with an addiction.
September is National Recovery Month, and we hope we can shed a little more light on the terrible disease that is addiction. Afterward, we hope you’ll have a framework for how you relate to alcohol.
Key takeaways
- A little about herself, her career path, and what she does
- What substance abuse disorder or addiction is
- Common criteria most people qualify for
- Root causes for developing addictions
- How COVID-19 has affected substance abuse disorders and alcohol use
- When it’s okay/not okay to consume alcohol
- Four levels of abuse
- Most common addiction she has seen
- Unique challenges she has seen when dealing with medical professionals and addiction
- Common signs of addiction
- What recovery is like
- Ways people can find connection and improve their coping skills
- Coping tips she recommends
- Where boredom comes into play
- What the 12-step program is all about and how successful it is
- Additional resources she recommends for those who are looking for help
- Definition of co-dependence
- How it plays out in addictions in the family
- Three Cs of Al-Anon
- At one point is intervention recommended
- How to effectively deal when you’re struggling with something
- Benefits of going through the program and how it transforms people’s lives
- Her message for the listeners
Links
- Alcohol Use Disorders Identification Test (AUDIT) - https://auditscreen.org/
- Alcoholics Anonymous - https://www.aa.org/
- Narcotics Anonymous - https://www.na.org/
- Co-Dependents Anonymous - https://coda.org/
- Medication Assisted Treatment (MAT) for Substance Use Addiction - https://www.smartrecovery.org/what-is-medication-assisted-treatment-mat/
- Al-Anon - https://al-anon.org/
Jorja Jamison, PhD, LP, Associate Professor Bio:
PhD, University of Illinois - Urbana Champaign, Counseling Psychology
MS, University of Illinois - Urbana Champaign, Educational Psychology
BA, University of North Carolina - Chapel Hill, Latin Language and Literature
Dr. Jorja Jamison is an Associate Professor at the Hazelden Betty Ford Graduate
School of Addiction Studies. She has a PhD in counseling psychology with academic
and research interests in lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ)
issues, multicultural counseling, supervision, and addiction. Dr. Jamison joined the
Hazelden Betty Ford Graduate School of Addiction Studies in 2012. She served as
the clinical placement coordinator for 2.5 years. She has taught several courses,
including multicultural counseling, differential diagnosis, professional practice, and
lifespan development. She is also a licensed psychologist in the state of Minnesota
with specialization in working with individuals with substance use disorders,
adolescents, vocational issues, and culturally responsive counseling. She has
presented at national conferences including the American Psychological Association
and the National Conference on Addictive Disorders.
Caution! We are in the middle of a world pandemic, if you didn’t already know. There are warning signs everywhere about what we need to do to protect ourselves and others. But did you know that being warned of danger over and over again can lead to a phenomenon called “Caution Fatigue”? We can also experience another challenge called “Compassion Fatigue” especially those who care for others such as parents, teachers, and frontline workers.
In this episode we talk with Heather Erickson, the Director of Behavioral Health Services at Amery Hospital and Clinic, on the subject of Caution Fatigue and how it is different from Compassion Fatigue. Heather shares how to recognize and name what we are experiencing and how to work through these feelings.
Key takeaways
- A little bit on the work she does
- Her definition of caution fatigue
- Biology behind compassion fatigue and how it affects the brain
- How the pandemic has affected healthcare workers in general
- What trauma is
- How trauma/caution fatigue affects the body
- How is compassion fatigue similar/different from caution fatigue
- How caution/compassion fatigue affects the emotions
- How stuffing emotions affects the body
- How caution/compassion fatigue affects relationships
- How to show compassion towards others
- Practical things you can do to be mindful and focus on the present
- Her message for the listeners
Heather Erickson Bio:
Heather Erickson has been working in the mental health field for the last 18 years. She holds a Masters Degree in social work and has always enjoyed positions that have involved both clinical work with patients/clients as well as system/program development and oversight. She has spent the last 5 years as the Director of Behavioral Health Services at HealthPartners’ Amery Hospital & Clinic in Amery, WI. She has recently become interested in the science of our fight-of-flight system – both how/what activates it, and how we can work to effectively intervene to allow our parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems to work together most effectively when faced with complex issues or concerns, such as that of COVID-19. Heather is also interested in organizational resilience and wellness, and has made this a major focus in her current position given the toll of COVID-19 on the healthcare workforce.
“Mindfulness” is thrown around in our modern vocabulary, but what does it actually mean? Dr. Ellen Langer, the Mother of Mindfulness and Harvard professor, has researched this subject for over 40 years. In this episode we’ll learn what mindfulness is and how to practice it.
Being present in the here and now is important for improving our mental well-being. It improves our relationships, increases contentment in life, and decreases our anxiety. Being present also has tremendous influences on our physical body and health. Did you know that mindfully working out can help you get fit faster? Dr. Ellen Langer shares about the many incredible benefits of mindfulness.
Key takeaways
- A little bit about her research and what her focus is on
- Why she’s called the ‘Mother of Mindfulness’
- Why most people tend to predict and jump on the negative side
- What mindful optimism is and why it’s ideal
- How to deal with disappointments
- Her definition of mindfulness
- Why most people are not mindful
- What being mindful means
- Why most people don’t engage in mindfulness
- Why people daydream
- How to calm yourself down when feeling anxious
- On the decision-making class she’s teaching
- What she wants listeners to know about mindfulness
- The peerless benefits of mindfulness
Book
- Mindfulness by Dr. Ellen Langer - https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Ellen-J-Langer/dp/B004UM266U
Dr. Ellen Langer Bio:
EL is a professor of psychology at Harvard University. She is the recipient of four Distinguished Scientist awards and the Liberty Science Genius Award. Professor Langer has published over 200 scientific papers and 12 books including the best seller, Mindfulness. Having researched the topic for over forty years, it is not surprising that she is known as The Mother of Mindfulness.
Life can throw many major challenges at us. Sometimes it is a big event that we need to find resilience for, but for most people it is normal, everyday life that we need to learn how to find resilience within - we need to learn how to thrive in the mundane normal events of life.
In today's episode, we talk with Dr. Rick Hanson who shares about how to find resilience in normal everyday life. He describes resilience as the capacity to recover from terrible experiences, as well as the ability to keep going forward in the pursuit of our goals and life dreams while protecting our fundamental well-being in our core.
In today’s episode you will learn about how you have the capacity to change your brain to develop resilience by developing some vital and research based human traits. We will talk about how you really can find peace, meaning, and gratefulness amidst the unpredictable world we live in today.
Key takeaways
- His thoughts on man’s ability to change the way we think
- His definition of resilience
- What neuroplasticity is
- How people can get stuck in their circuit thinking
- What green zones and red zones are
- How positive experiences/development can change the brain
- What happens when you stay in the present moment
- What his new book ‘Neurodharma’ is all about
- The psychological resource that can help a real person cope with challenges while staying resilient
- The importance of being clear about your needs
- How gratitude, pleasure, and success can help you gain resilience
- How someone can start gaining gratitude, pleasure, and success in this life
- How gratitude can help you build resilience
Links
- Donald Hebb - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hebbian_theory
- Robert Sapolsky - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Sapolsky
- Hillel the Elder - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hillel_the_Elder
- Rick Hanson Website - https://www.rickhanson.net/
- Rick Hanson Online Courses - https://www.rickhanson.net/teaching/
Books
- Buddha’s Brain by Dr. Rick Hanson, Ph.D. - https://www.rickhanson.net/books/buddhas-brain/
- Just One Thing by Dr. Rick Hanson, Ph.D. - https://www.rickhanson.net/books/just-one-thing/
- Hardwiring Happiness by Dr. Rick Hanson, Ph.D. - https://www.rickhanson.net/books/hardwiring-happiness/
- Resilience by Dr. Rick Hanson, Ph.D. - https://www.rickhanson.net/resilient/
- Neurodharma by Dr. Rick Hanson, Ph.D. - https://www.rickhanson.net/books/neurodharma/
- Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers by Robert Sapolsky - https://www.amazon.com/Why-Zebras-Dont-Ulcers-Third/dp/0805073698
Rick Hanson Bio:
Rick Hanson, Ph.D., is a psychologist, Senior Fellow of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, and New York Times best-selling author. His books are available in 28 languages and include Resilient, Hardwiring Happiness, Buddha’s Brain, Just One Thing, and Mother Nurture. He edits the Wise Brain Bulletin and has numerous audio programs.
Is the glass half full or half empty? It is quite obvious that not everyone sees the glass exactly the same. Negative and positive views are often formed by how something is described, but research by Dr. Alison Ledgerwood shows that it is a human tendency to get stuck in the negative mindframe.
Join us for a discussion about positive and negative mindframes, what research says about them, and tactics for learning to reverse a negative outlook. In an approachable conversation, Dr. Ledgerwood shares about many important, yet incredibly easy, tactics that you can simply apply to your day to improve your positive psychology. This isn’t a magic fix, but the research they conducted does show you can change your mindframe if you work at it.
Dr. Ledgerwood also shares about how negativity bias intersects with the psychology of racism, and how we can begin the discussion of overcoming this barrier as well. We hope that you find this to be an encouraging and empowering podcast episode!
Key takeaways
- A little about herself and the work she does
- What negativity bias is
- How negativity bias shows up in real life
- Some experiments she has done and what she has learned so far
- What the framing effect is
- How to shift the mindset from negative to positive
- Limitations to the general tendency to focus on the negative
- How you can change the way you think
- Easy ways to change your thinking
- The power of practicing gratitude
- What resilience is
- How individual and collective resilience plays out in the healthcare setting
- How to deal with negative emotions accordingly
- Other things that can help build resilience
- Why taking a deep breath is beneficial
- How negativity bias intersects with systemic racism
- What the out-group homogeneity effect is
- Ways to combat negativity bias
Links
- Getting Stuck in the Negatives (and How to Get Unstuck) TEDx Talks by Dr. Alison Ledgerwood - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XFLTDQ4JMk
- As Well App on Google Play - https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.greencircleinitiatives.aswell
- As Well App on the Apple Store - https://apps.apple.com/us/app/as-well/id1491996140
Books
- The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld - https://www.amazon.com/Rabbit-Listened-Cori-Doerrfeld/dp/073522935X
Dr. Alison Ledgerwood Bio
Dr. Alison Ledgerwood is a professor and Chancellor’s Fellow in the Department of Psychology at the University of California, Davis. Her research and public outreach focus on understanding how humans think and behave in social situations, and how people can harness that knowledge to improve their lives and the lives of others. Her work has appeared in top journals and handbooks, and her TEDx talk on how to retrain your mind to counteract negative thinking has been viewed over 5 million times.
Something happens and you begin to feel a particular way. This is a trigger and what you feel is an emotion. But what do you do next to respond from a place of emotional well-being?
In this episode, mental health counselor Elizabeth Hardesty shares the techniques she uses to help her clients dig deeper into an emotion. Learn about the iceberg technique, where you investigate what meanings, beliefs, and needs you may have around an emotion. Through this technique, you can learn to work through a strong emotion and share about it with others in a healthy way.
So, let’s dive in to see the iceberg (pun intended).
Key takeaways
- What she does specifically in the emotional well-being space
- What causes emotions
- Why people can act differently to the same situation
- Her definition of triggers
- Why people have triggers
- Some of the triggers people experience with the pandemic and the current political situation
- How to work through your feelings and triggers
- What coping is
- How to differentiate coping from self-care
- What your feelings tell you
- How to go about interrogating your feelings
- What the iceberg technique is all about
- What the different layers are
- What to do after your needs are met
- The seven deep desires of the heart
- Why different desires resonate with different people
Books
- Seven Desires: Looking Past What Separates Us to Learn What Connects Us by Mark and Debra Laaser - https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Desires-Looking-Separates-Connects/dp/0310318238
Elizabeth Hardesty Bio
Elizabeth Hardesty is a mental health counselor in the Twin Cities area. She received her graduate degree from Denver Seminary. She is passionate about emotional health and finds it such a humbling experience to walk alongside her clients as they move from a place of surviving to thriving. Her own experience of walking that same path with her therapist is what brought her into this career.
What is it in life that you are bothering to care about? With the onset of COVID-19, life can sometimes seem even more mundane and purposeless. But every person needs a reason, a bother if you will, to care about and to give you purpose in your life.
Join us for our discussion with Jennifer Louden as we learn about her most recent book, Why Bother: Discover the Desire for What’s Next. Jennifer gives simple and practical ideas to help open yourself up to finding what it is you want to do in life.
This episode is meant to inspire you to think outside of the box about what your life could look like and how you can feel a little more alive. It’s important to discover the deeper callings inside of you that create meaning in your life. It is never too late to discover what you should bother about in life.
Key takeaways
- What desire looks like and why you should bother
- What a “why bother” period looks like
- Where she was at when she tried to discover her desire and how she did it
- How to separate desire from being enough as a person
- Some things that get in the way of bothering
- Her thoughts on expectations around change
- The next step people need to take in the process
- How to go about being seen
- Why it’s important to be seen
- Her thoughts on spirituality
- The essence of bothering
Books
- Woman’s Comfort Book: A Self-Nurturing Guide for Restoring Balance in Your Life by Jennifer Louden - https://www.amazon.com/Womans-Comfort-Book-Self-Nurturing-Restoring/dp/0060776676
- Why Bother: Discover the Desire for What’s Next by Jennifer Louden - https://www.amazon.com/Why-Bother-Discover-Desire-Whats/dp/1989603122
Jennifer Louden Bio
Jennifer Louden is a personal growth pioneer who helped launch the concept of self-care with her 1992 bestselling debut book The Woman’s Comfort Book. She is the author of six additional books, including The Woman’s Retreat Book, The Life Organizer and Why Bother? With close to a million copies of her books in print in nine languages, Jennifer is a sought-after speaker, addressing audiences across the USA, Canada and Europe. She is a former columnist for Whole Living, a Martha Stewart magazine, and has appeared on a number of television and radio shows and podcasts—including The Oprah Winfrey Show. Her work has been featured in People, USA Today, CNN, and Brené Brown’s books Daring Greatly and Dare to Lead.
As an entrepreneur and educator, Jennifer has offered women’s retreats for over 25 years, and her email newsletter reaches 20,000 subscribers weekly. She lives in Boulder County, Colorado.
It was inevitable that a once-in-a-lifetime pandemic would impact our health and affect our emotional wellbeing. In this episode, Dr. Madeleine De Little, a trauma expert, shares about the impact of COVID-19 on our mental health.
As Dr. De Little shares, trauma with a capital T is one big event, however, there are small traumas that happen to us on a daily basis—not realizing how they impact our wellbeing. With COVID-19, we’re afraid of getting sick and the way we interact with others has completely changed.
In this episode, we learn about COVID-19’s impact on our overall health and wellbeing and how we gain a new sense of normalcy.
Key takeaways
- What trauma is exactly
- Different forms of trauma
- Her take on the idea of being uncomfortable with the unknown
- Ways trauma can impact people
- Why it pays to listen to your body rather than your head
- Professional work she does with children
- How COVID-19 has impacted individuals, families, and communities How the pandemic has affected how people relate to one another
- The impact of COVID-19 on children
- How to regain some sense of balance and normalcy post-pandemic
- Her thoughts on what the new normal looks like
Dr. Madeleine de Little Bio
Dr. Madeleine De Little is a therapist for children and adults who have experienced trauma. She is also an author of a book for therapists that she has entitled “Where Words Can’t Reach: Neuroscience and the Satir Model in the Sand Tray.” She has created a new way of working with children and adults which combines the neuroscience of safety and therapeutic attunement and attachment with the novel metaphors that emerge from implicit memory.
She facilitates the transformations of the default defences through the use of the emergence of novel metaphors in the form of figurines in the sand tray. The results of this work are powerful and lasting because it is accessing non-verbal images of the right brain and body. She is the founder of Neuroscience and Satir in the Sand Tray Certificate Program which she teaches in Canada, China, Singapore, Thailand, the Czech Republic and Slovakia.
Madeleine’s roles include being a mother, a partner to a wonderful man, an academic, an author, a trainer and a gardener. Madeleine’s purpose on this earth is to help as many children and adults who have been traumatized in some way, by training therapists to use the science behind imaginative and playful ways to heal. Welcome Dr. Madeleine De Little.
Everywhere in the world, food brings people together. With restaurants closing and limited gatherings, COVID-19 has significantly changed the way that we interact with food and with each other. It has also affected, and maybe exaggerated, how we personally relate to food.
In this episode, we hear from Dr. Heather Gallivan, Clinical Director of the Melrose Center. Dr. Gallivan shares how COVID-19 has impacted our relationship with food. She also provides practical tips for working toward a healthier relationship with food.
This episode isn’t just about COVID; it’s about our relationships with food in general. So take a listen to understand your relationship with food and how it relates to your emotional wellbeing.
Key takeaways
- A little background about her work
- The impact of COVID-19 on people’s eating habits
- Difference between an eating disorder and an unhealthy relationship with food
- How to change your self-talk around food
- What can help change those undesirable habits around food mentally
- Her thoughts on the impact of COVID-19 on people’s ability to gather and celebrate
- What a healthy relationship with food looks like
- First steps you can do to change your relationship with food during this time
- What to do with your emotional attachment to food
- How to know when to seek help
- How different eating disorders develop and how they differ from one another
- How food disparity and food scarcity affects people’s relationship with food
- How to work through food scarcity
- Resources for those who struggle with their relationship with food
Links
- Melrose Center - https://www.healthpartners.com/care/specialty-centers/melrose-center/
- National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) - https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org
Dr. Heather Gallivan Bio
Dr. Heather Gallivan is Clinical Director of Melrose Center. For more than a decade she has specialized in helping patients who have weight and eating problems. She is passionate about preventing eating disorders through education. And she says it’s key to inform people about how mass media and social messages affect our attitudes about body image and weight. Before joining Melrose Center, Dr. Gallivan served 5 years in the United States Navy as an active duty psychologist. Outside of work she enjoys spending time with her husband and two children, traveling, cooking and photography.
To begin the journey towards emotional wellbeing, it’s important to understand why we have emotions and what they tell us.
To help us better define emotional wellbeing, we talk to Debbie Laaser, who is a licensed marriage and family therapist. Not only will she help us understand the benefits of emotional health, but she will also share about how learning to listen to our own needs is one of the first important steps on the wellbeing journey.
In this episode, we cover all the basics of emotional well-being, authenticity, and self-care. Our hope is you’ll gain a solid foundation on your emotional wellness journey.
Key takeaways
- What emotional well-being is and how it’s defined
- The importance of acknowledging your emotions
- What emotions are
- Benefits of emotional well-being
- What being authentic means
- Some of the barriers/obstacles people face in terms of their emotional well-being
- Misconceptions around self-care
- Definition of self-care
- The importance of self-love
- Her thoughts on self-care
- How you can begin to listen and take care of yourself
- Why you need to attend to your emotions
- Tips for those who want to do self-care
- Resources available for people who want to do self-care
- Importance of check-ins
- Questions to ask when you want to check-in with yourself
Debbie Laaser Bio
Debbie Laaser, M.A., LMFT is a licensed marriage and family therapist and was involved in recovery with her husband, Mark, for over thirty years. After Mark’s passing in 2019, she became the Director of Faithful & True. Debbie has facilitated therapy groups and counseled relationally betrayed wives for over 20 years. She is the author of Shattered Vows and co-author with Mark of Seven Desires and A Toolkit for Growth: Practical Recovery Tools for Individuals and Couples. Debbie’s recent research project, “Posttraumatic Growth in Relationally Betrayed Women” was published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.
Financial wellbeing is an important factor that influences our emotional wellness. Financial stress happens to everyone, but there are ways to cope with the anxieties that might arise because of it. Understanding our own views and beliefs around money is the first step toward financial wellbeing.
On this episode, Dr. Megan McCoy joins us to discuss the various psychological views individuals hold about money called money scripts. She shares how our beliefs around money impacts our relationships, how we deal with financial stress, even how we raise our kids, and more!
Dr. McCoy will leave you with a better understanding of financial psychology and equip you with tools to start you on your wellness journey.
Key takeaways
- A little bit about herself and what she does
- What financial therapy is
- Difference between financial stress and financial anxiety
- The different views people have about money
- The four different money perspectives/viewpoints
- How different beliefs about money affects your decision-making
- What financial infidelity is
- How COVID-19 has impacted families and money
- Practical ways to talk about money with your significant other
- Family beliefs around money
- Appropriate age to talk to your kids about money
- How charitable giving can help with long-lasting happiness
- Other ways you can increase happiness through money
- Why it pays to spend purposely
- Ways to combat financial anxiety
- How to separate your identity from your financial psychology
- Resources she recommends
Links
- Dr. Megan McCoy - https://www.hhs.k-state.edu/ahs/people/meganmccoy/
- Dr. Megan McCoy Email - meganmccoy@k-state.edu
- Financial Therapy Association Website - https://www.financialtherapyassociation.org
- Find a Financial Therapist - https://www.financialtherapyassociation.org/find-a-ft
- Kristy Archuleta - https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Kristy_Archuleta
- Virginia Satir - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virginia_Satir
- Michelangelo Phenomenon - https://dictionary.apa.org/michelangelo-phenomenon
Books
- Money Script by Brad Klontz, Ted Klontz, and Rick Kahler - https://www.amazon.com/Money-script-Korean-Brad-Klontz/dp/896866420X
- Surviving Debt: Expert Advice for Getting Out of Financial Trouble by National Consumer Law Center - https://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Debt-Getting-Financial-Trouble/dp/1602481768
- Peoplemaking by Virginia Satir - https://www.amazon.com/Peoplemaking-Condor-Books-Virginia-Satir/dp/0285648721
- Facilitating Financial Health: Tools for Financial Planners, Coaches, and Therapists by Brad Klontz, Ted Klontz, and Rick Kahler - https://www.amazon.com/Facilitating-Financial-Health-Planners-Therapists/dp/1941627870
- Mind Over Money: The Psychology of Money and How to Use it Better by Claudia Hammond - https://www.amazon.com/Facilitating-Financial-Health-Planners-Therapists/dp/
Welcome to the premier of “But Really, How Are You?” — a podcast focused on emotional wellbeing! We created this podcast to help people (myself included) learn, grow, and gain more knowledge about how to better understand our emotions and their impact on daily life.
In today’s show, I cover what our podcast is all about as well as a few of our other exciting projects that will help in this journey. Our hope is you’d be able to better recognize and understand your emotions with each episode.
We can’t wait to embark on this journey to emotional well-being and personal growth and we’d love it if you’d come along for the ride!
Key Takeaways
- What you can expect each episode
- Some of the topics we’ll cover in the podcast
- The inspiration behind the podcast
- How our business “Green Circle Initiatives” started
- Our company goal
- Our current team
- How our app “As Well” supports emotional wellness
- Our plans for the podcast
Links
- Green Circle Initiatives Website - https://www.greencircleinitiatives.com
- As Well App on Google Play - https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.greencircleinitiatives.aswell
- As Well App on the Apple Store - https://apps.apple.com/us/app/as-well/id1491996140