ManMaid: Recent Episodes
sue
Holding men and boys in high esteem; exploring men’s issues and experience in a positive light; regularl feature ‘good guy of the week’!
Caring for men and boys; This episode draws on Jordan Peterson’s book, '12 Rules for Life' and William Collins book 'The Empathy Gap' and blog, ‘The Illustrated Empathy Gap'; it explores some the ways in which boys and young men are disadvantaged in education, explores some strategies for improving the situation and asks a few painful questions in conclusion.
And of course there’s 'Good Guy of the Week’ who is Sam Darlaston, a DJ from London; he brought home more from the supermarket than was on his shopping list. His story involves a charming adventure with Tesco, broccoli and caterpillars.
Caring for men and boys. After an encounter with a colleague who told me, "the patriarchy influences everything, it’s everywhere” I decided, in this episode, to focus on Jordan Peterson’s critique of the idea of patriarchy; his critique is in his chapter about Rule 11 in his book, ‘12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos’; the chapter is wittily entitled ‘Do not Bother Children When They are Skateboarding’ and the section I’m presenting here has a sub-heading ‘The Patriarchy: Help or Hindrance?’
And good guy of the week was the subject of a story I heard in the queue at Lidl’s last weekend about an exuberant footballing boy and his super dad.
Caring for men and boys. This episode continues to explore and comment on Jan Jekeliek’s interview with Dr Warren Farrell. This time I’m focussing on the dynamics of, what Farrell presents as, the ideal family set up for children in general, and for boys in particular; and, in conclusion, I present my own blueprint for the ideal family set up.
And of course, there’s another splendid 'Good Guy of the Week’. This week’s good guy story is edge of your seat, and features 74 years old Mr Richard Willbanks from Florida, Gunner, his 3 month old beloved Cavalier King Charles Spaniel puppy and an alligator!
Caring for men and boys. This episode focusses again on the work of Dr Warren Farrell; it’s based on the first part of a Jan Jekielek ‘Thought Leaders’ podcast interview where Farrell exposes the holes in the new Gender Policy Council established recently by President Biden. A link to this interview is in the episode notes.
An of course, there’s another ‘Good Guy of the Week’. Buckshot Smith, age 91, definitely the oldest serving police officer in Camden, New Jersey, and probably the oldest serving police officer in the United States. His story will delight you.
Caring for men and boys. This episode focusses on the work of Dr Warren Farrell and is based on 2 interviews, one with Alysse ElHage for the Institute for Family Studies and one with Mark Walsh, of The Embodiment Channel on YouTube. His journey from women’s liberation to the men’s rights movement is described and there is discussion about the important role of dads.
Good Guy of the week is 9 year old Oakley Hughes who was given a ‘Brave Bear Award’ by his school; his quick thinking and actions helped his mum in a tricky situation.
Dads, Boys and Rough Play
Caring for Men and Boys. In this episode I look at just one of the many ways in which a father’s presence and involvement impacts positively upon his child’s development.
And of course, as usual, there’s a ‘Good Guy of the Week’, a man from Cornwall, UK who helped my youngest daughter with her car. It involved what some more cynical people might call ’mansplaining’ but it was just the help she needed at the time.
Caring for Men and Boys. This episode plays with the idea of gender reversal. It is based on an article that invites us to imagine what it would be like if we made femininity toxic, how it would be if we were to designate certain female characteristics as negative and in need of reprogramming. We are asked firstly, to imagine a feminine hygiene product manufacturer showing women and girls at their very worst in it’s advert; and secondly to imagine the American Psychological Association (APA) issuing new guidelines specifying that certain feminine traits are problematic and asking it’s members to take action to mitigate them. Gillette and the APA took just these actions with men and boys as their focus.
And of course, as always there’s 'Good Guy of the Week’ who is Alfie Date, the oldest man in Australia who is using his unusual skills to help very small penguins.
Caring for Men and Boys. This episode is based on part of a paper authored by Belinda Brown who is an independent quantitative and qualitative researcher, a contributor to The Conservative Woman and a Patroness of the Scottish Family Party; she has an interest in gender issues, including men’s issues; her paper is entitled ‘The Internal Contradictions of Feminism’ which, as the title suggests, explores how feminism has not served all groups of women equally well and includes attention to a subject close to my heart, how, because of the influence of what I would name as radical feminism, men’s positive contribution to women and children is hidden.
Good Guy of the Week is Steve Higgins from Bristol who, in spite of Covid-19 restrictions, was determined to give his girlfriend a fantastic 30th Birthday! He was thoughtful, creative, generous and attended to every detail to give his girlfriend Kerry a wonderful Cornish themed birthday celebration.
Caring for Men and boys. In this episode I return to the subject of parental alienation and in particular to the four criteria for identifying the phenomenon that are included in Amy Baker’s 2018 paper; the title of her paper is ‘Reliability and Validity of the Four-Factor Model of Parental Alienation’ and there is a link to it in the episode notes. The third of Baker’s four-factors identifies 17 alienating behaviours exhibited by an alienating parent.
Good guy of the week is Jay Flynn whose modest pub quizzes, became an online phenomenon, in a most unexpected way, after lockdown began last year; and he has received an unexpected reward.
Caring for Men and Boys. This episode is based on a YouTube video, the link to which is in the notes; it features interviews with parental alienation specialists who attended the Parental Alienation Study Group Conference in Philadelphia, USA in September 2019.
The specialists interviewed in alphabetical order are
Amy Baker
William Bernet
Linda Gottlieb
Jennifer Harman
Steve Miller
Karen Woodall
Nick Woodall
Shawn Wygant
And Good Guy of the week is Andrew Taylor from New Zealand who did a lovely thing for dog owners and their pups!
Caring for Men and Boys. In this episode I’m going to discuss a really painful issue that my male clients can present with; the issue is proceedings involving the CAFCASS agency, the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service. I’ll also be discussing how false allegations are at the centre of parental alienation and offer two definitions of the phenomenon.
The Good Guy of the Week story this week features Matthew O’Hanlon, a policeman with the Mount Laurel Police Department in New Jersey and a pit bull puppy.
Caring for men and boys. In this final episode, focussing on psychotherapy with male shame, I look at the qualities that need to be present in the therapeutic environment if men are to feel OK enough about themselves and the therapist, to do their psychological work. I also look at the pitfalls that can prevent a positive psychotherapy outcome. I’ll be redefining aggression as an evolutionary and existential necessity, in a way that I hope will stop it being taboo.
Good Guy of the week is an inspirational young footballer, Nick Tsaroulla who, in spite of serious injury in a car crash and doctors doubting that he would ever be able to play again, made a splendid comeback in league football.
Caring for men and boys. In this episode, the penultimate episode in this series, I
· touch on Allan Schore’s research into the development of infant boys
· introduce a model which identifies the three ways in which we process and integrate trauma
· introduce the idea of us as a pot full of untold stories and briefly discuss one of my old cases with you and lastly,
· begin to outline the kind of help that men experiencing shame and rage may benefit from
Caring about men and boys; In part 2 of Psychotherapy with Male Shame, I continue my discussion about the most common difficulty that my male clients present with which is also very common amongst my female clients, the rage, endorphin release and shame cycle. I offer an empathic understanding, and definitions of, masculinity, rage, shame and trauma. I describe how misandry contributes to male shame and rage issues. And of course, there’s a Good Guy of the Week; Matt Lima, a Massachusetts police officer who deals with Christmas shoplifters in a very unexpected way.
Caring about men and boys. In this episode I’m going to tell you about the kind of issues that my male psychotherapy clients present with; then I’ll share one of my models with you that describes the most common issue that my clients with anger, rage and shame issues present with, the rage, shame and endorphin release cycle.
This episode particularly emphasises how rage and shame issues are trauma related; they are not personality flaws.
And of course there’s a good guy of the week, a Penzance in Cornwall recycling man who was a big help to a young family.
Caring about men and boys. This is a longer than usual Christmas episode; it includes the final part of the International Men’s Day parliamentary debate and a very special Christmas ‘good guys of the week’ feature that expresses the quintessential heroism of men. Days before Christmas, on the 19th December, almost 40 years ago in 1981, the Penlee lifeboat and it’s eight men crew as well as eight crew members and passengers on the Union star, were lost off the south west Cornish Coast.
Caring about men and boys. In this penultimate episode I share the contributions of three more MP’s in a section of the debate which had a more emotional flavour than the rest with two of the MP’s speaking in a clearly moved and heartfelt way, talking from their own personal experiences. Some new men’s issues emerge and some more statistics on issues that have been discussed in previous episodes. And there’s a very practical suggestion from Dean Russel if you think someone you know is struggling with their mental health. And of course, there’s the ‘Good Guy of the Week’ who is Brandon Woolfe, a Brooklyn-based performance artist and English professor; he has been concerned about the stress that the coronavirus pandemic had placed on New Yorkers and uses his skills to help people feel better connected in these isolating Covid-19 times.
Caring about men and boys. More contributions from MPs who took part in this debate. Attention is given to men’s domestic abuse, their mental health and that no white working class men were admitted into SOAS, a prestigious university, in 2016.
Good guy of the week is 93 year old retired GP, David Handford who has been making cards for fellow care-home residents who couldn’t get to the shops and who has now turned his attention to making Christmas cards, raising a significant amount for charity.
Caring about men and boys. A continuation of the International Men’s Day parliamentary debate.
This episode discusses the very small minority of MPs who attended this debate and the contributions of Philip Davies MP and Elliot Colburn MP.
Subjects discussed include
- an 'equality plan' that wasn’t 50/50
- how relationship breakdowns can lead to family breakdowns and to an individuals mental health breakdown
- parental alienation
- how relationship breakdown can result in increased suicide risk, especially for men
- men’s higher rate of infection, admission to hospital and death rate from Covid-19
- prostate cancer
- mental health
and of course......good guy of the week! A Vietnam vet, who despite suffering from cancer, saves his neighbours from their burning house
Caring about men and boys. Ben Bradley MP gave an excellent speech in the House of Commons, UK on International Men’s Day on the 19th November 2020. He compassionately discusses the negative impact on working class boys in particular and working class men in general, of working class values not being respected, indeed being identified as a phenomenon to ‘rectify’. He touches on a language issue, how more and more phrases are coming into our language which seem designed to undermines men’s role and confidence.
And also, of course, there’s a good guy of the week - a post office worker who helped in the process of a young girl giving up her dummy.
Caring about men and boys. This episode explores polarised ideas about men and women are embedded in mainstream Western culture. It is based on a chapter in the Palgrave Macmillan, Handbook of Male Psychology and Mental Health in which the authors, Seager and Barry, put forward their new psychological theory, ‘gamma bias’ which proposes that cognitive distortions involving exaggeration and minimisation , which are more favourable to women and less favourable to men are operating in our culture. And of course there’s the ‘Good Guy of the Week’.
Caring about men and boys. In this episode we look at the gender gap in life expectancy; how biology and socio-economic factors conspire, presently at least, to negatively influence male health and premature death. A nowhere near exhaustive range of men’s health issues are explored including the impact of too much or too little testosterone. And of course, there’s a good guy of the week....Vilenti Tulloch, an Adjustment Counsellor, creator of 'The Young Gentlemen’s Club', a youth mentoring programme in Massachusetts.
Link referred to
http://www.healthscotland.scot/health-inequalities/measuring-health-inequalities
Caring about men and boys. This episode continues the discussion about the Integrated Domestic Abuse Programme and makes the argument that because radical feminist ideology underpins the programme, it can be viewed as cult like. I look at the experiences of men I have interviewed, who had negative experiences on the programme, through the lens of, one of Robert J Lifton’s components of brainwashing, or ‘thought reform’ as he calls it, that of Milieu Control.
And of course....there’s another ‘good guy of the week’!
Caring about men and boys. In this episode I discuss the origin of this programme in a single brutal murder that took place in Duluth, Minnesota in 1980 and how the dynamics of this grim crime were extrapolated and applied to every incident of domestic abuse throughout the Western world ever since, at a cost of billions. I talk about how participants in the programme were ’treated’ badly and discuss some of the research which has consistently found the programme to be ineffective. And of course...there’s another ‘good guy of the week’.
Caring about men and boys. This episode briefly introduces and begins to critique the long serving domestic abuse intervention, the Integrated Domestic Abuse Programme, based on the American Duluth model; both UK and US programmes are underpinned with radical feminist ideology and claim a single cause for domestic abuse, that of sexism. This introduction discusses the harm that can be caused by a one cause, one remedy intervention, which is blind to a wide range of other non-political factors which may contribute to a person, male or female, being abusive. And of course, there’s a good guy of the week!
Caring about men and boys. In this episode I explore some radical feminist concepts which I think have harmed men and boys and discuss how shifting the focus from equal opportunities goes against the majority of men and women’s biological and evolutionary work choices and would involve a radical restructuring of society. And of course....this week there are ‘two good guys of the week’!
Caring about men and boys. In this episode I explore shame as a trauma symptom and relate it to the hostile environment which I perceive men can experience; women can shame men and other men can shame men; men aren’t always held in high regard and this has a significant impact on how OK men feel about themselves. I also discuss of what is needed to heal male shame. And...of course....there’s another good guy of the week.
Caring about men and boys. There’s an empathy gap when it comes to male suicide. In this episode I am exploring the statistics of male’s three times higher than females suicide rates, a few of the possible causes I suggest one thing that we can all do to help. And of course, as always...Good Guy of the week.
Caring about men and boys. Discussing the origin and content of the negative male stereotype; discussing the contributions that men make and arguing that it makes more sense to replace a negative old stereotype with positive male archetypes. And....as always....a good guy of the week!
Caring about men and boys. I talk about a letter I wrote to the editor of my professional body’s journal, being critical about an article, written by a man, that called for ‘unreconstituted men’ to be ‘reconstituted’ In other words, men are bad and something must be done!!!! And we meet another ‘good guy of the week’ hooray!
Caring about men and boys. Exploring altruistic, testosterone-supported behaviours. Seeing testosterone as pro-social Vs anti-social. And another ‘good guy of the week’.
Caring about men and boys. In this episode I differentiate between aggression and violence; aggression is framed as a positive and necessary important life force that has had a bad press; I also explore the weak link between testosterone and violence and celebrate two good guys of the week..
Caring about men and boys. Introduction to some positive functions of testosterone and ‘good guy of the week’ feature.