Why Did I Write That?!: Recent Episodes
Kiah Moon
I started keeping a diary in 6th grade and wrote somewhat religiously and in excruciating detail about everything that happened in my life for the following several years. I have a crate full of diaries. They're boring at times. Other times they're thrilling or sad or confusing. Mostly they're terribly embarrassing
Diary 8, Episode 10.5. After having finished writing proper entries, I left a cryptic bullet-point list of the shenanigans that followed in my life for several weeks afterwards. This episode is a reading of that list, and is the final episode of Why Did I Write That?!
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Diary 8, Episode 10. Last days in Surfer's Paradise before beginning my travels towards Ontario. More actions you would expect from a 22 year-old with no cares. Final entries of this diary.
Diary 8, Episode 9. A lot of firsts... and horrific language to accompany it all. I meet the Pouch of Douglas before I ever truly know what that is.
And if you don't yet know what the Pouch of Douglas is, please do yourself a favour and allow Hannah Gadsby explain it to you. Search that shit up.
Diary 8, Episode 8. Celebrating birthdays by being the annoying girls in the VIP zone with the fishbowls. More time with Niall. Brasil in the world cup.
Diary 8, Episode 7. I meet a new boy, Niall, and quickly fall into the habit of spending the night at his place, between bouts of surfing and babysitting. Book my flights back home.
Diary 8, Episode 6. Despite being "very wary of S.T.D.s" I have drunken sex on the beach with a stranger and go against my resolve not to "screw the crew" in a romp with Ollie, a lovely English boy who introduced me to "a whole new world of pleasure".
Diary 8, Episode 5. MK finally leaves Australia, and I waste no time in making out with strangers and letting my single life get started. Also a reflection of nude modelling as a classy art form.
Diary 8, Episode 4: Start working for Plan B party tours, make friends with Ed, Greg, and Nathan, and complete my first nude photo shoot!
Diary 8, Episode 3. After the worst 4-day train ride of my life, we arrive on the Gold Coast, spend a couple of days in Sydney, then bunk with Uncle Chris and Aunt Diana for a few days. Meeting up with Silas, we rent an apartment that is half a block from the beach and are neighbours with Tim and Sadie!
Diary 8, Episode 2. Final days in Perth. Maketo redoubles his efforts to try to get me to agree to a relationship with him, I try my hand at driving on the wrong side of the road and car.
Diary 8, Episode 1: I strive to be the bigger person by taking care of the drunk girl MK has been flirting with. MK and I break up but keep having sex. Maketo tries to "have something honest with me" before I move to the Gold Coast.
Diary 7, Episode 10: Perth (and suburbs). A quick end to this diary, including a grumpy night of not being able to sleep.
Diary 7, Episode 19: Perth (and suburbs). Cleaning up MK's messes, a very honest letter which is never delivered.
Diary 7, Episode 18: Perth (and suburbs). 2010 begins with an unfounded accusation of rape and containment. Housemates consider how best to get the violent and unpredictable Clinton out of the house after having to take knives away from him and suffering through abusive tirades.
Diary 7, Episode 17: Perth (and suburbs). Settling into the new place with some unique characters. Begin to notice and comment on the violence happening between Clinton and Cher. A new year's eve to remember.
Diary 7, Episode 16: Perth (and suburbs). MK and I both found jobs, Nick turned out to be an alcoholic misery, so we moved out. Found a new room in a shared house in Como.
Diary 7, Episode 15: Perth (and suburbs). Finally found an apartment, living with Nick in Shenton Park. Nick seems chill, likes to watch the news and drive drunk, goes to his mom's house every night for dinner. The job hunt continues.
Diary 7, Episode 14: Perth (and suburbs). Installed back in Western Australia, the hunt for an apartment and jobs begins in earnest! Some more internalized gaslighting.
Diary 7, Episode 13: Bangkok -> Perth. MK and I complete some sightseeing in Bangkok, eat a bunch of noodles, and get some new clothes for settling in Australia for a time. Our visas get sorted and we return to Perth to begin looking for an apartment and jobs.
Diary 7, Episode 12: Cottesloe -> Fremantle -> Perth -> Bangkok. MK and I explore the "Hippie Heaven" of Fremantle and then head to Bangkok to wait out the week while our working visas are processed. Lots of cockroaches and rats.
Diary 7, Episode 11: Istanbul -> Perth -> Cottesloe. After a long trip, we arrive in Perth and meet up with Grant, who graciously shows us around, connects us with possible work, and is just all around a great dude.
Diary 7, Episode 10: Pythagoreus -> Kusadasi -> Istanbul. We arrive in Turkey after some surprise visa expenses. Spend some time touring the Ephesus and end up in Istanbul, making friends with some Danish boys.
Diary 7, Episode 9: Theologus -> Patmos -> Pythagoreus. Some relaxing, rented a car and drove around Rhodos. Didn't manage to find work picking olives but have a plan to head to Australia where friends and family can help us out.
Diary 7, Episode 8: Athens -> Theologus. Finally a chance to cook in the kitchen of the American students who offered to let us stay with them for a couple of nights! Another tough time finding a hostel, but eventually settling into an incredibly beautiful spot at a very good price. So good that it inspired poetry...
Diary 7, Episode 7: Rome -> Athens. Making friends with Americans and leggy Dutch girls wherever we go, we explore the wonders of Rome and then make our way to Athens. My mistake- this episode is where we are driven by a madman cab driver!
Diary 7, Episode 6: Milan -> Bergamo -> Rome. A visit to the old city of Bergamo, some misplaced religious ideology. My first run-in with bedbugs, a coked-out taxi driver, an attempted mugging.
Diary 7, Episode 5: Prague -> Milan. A mushroom trip that leads to some truly awful introspection and assumptions about everyone I pass and the nature of humans. A quick glimpse into some solid gaslighting.
Diary 7, Episode 4: Warsaw -> Krakow -> Prague. A pretty heavy visit to Auschwitz, meet some Portuguese friends at a hostel, MK overdoes it on absinthe and criticism.
Diary 7, Episode 2: Escanaffles -> Louven -> Liège -> Berlin. We say goodbye to Niels, confusion about train seats, grand plans in the works for the rest of our travels.
Diary 7, Episode 1: I take up writing a diary again in 2009 to record my adventures while traveling. MK and I meet Niels in Amsterdam, lots of beers are consumed, and we end up in Escanaffles, staying with an incredibly generous family.
Diary 6, Episode 14: Dan's dad's wedding, I sew a quilt and make a puppet theatre with a babysitting charge, and have a hell of a time at Elliott's party, resulting in my first drunken night in the swinging bed. Start a new job at The Soccer Fanatic. End of my 6th diary.
Diary 6, Episode 12: Grad after-party includes friends trying to get fresh, a homophobic asshole, and cigars. Camping trip with Hayley and her family leads to some bold moves in a tent.
Diary 6, Episode 11: Exams, a very nice date in the ward, lots of working, a few detailed descriptions of "namby-pamby".
Diary 6, Episode 10: Prom, a reappearance of Josh who has gotten mixed up in some pretty serious business, and taking my first topless photos.
Diary 6, Episode 9: Beck's horse has a baby, I have some more weird dreams, and am momentarily convinced that Anner doesn't love me anymore because I was not supportive enough of his airband. I also sew my prom dress.
Diary 6, Episode 8: Another weird dream, a visit to Hayley's sheep farm, and training Chris at the store.
Diary 6, Episode 7: Descriptions of some strange dreams, I follow Anner's instructions in a bold move, but he doesn't notice.
Diary 6, Episode 6: Nailed my annunciation at the Sears Festival, watched a lot of wrestling, shared my thoughts on graduation.
Diary 6, Episode 4: More mundane high school details. I have some interviews to find a co-op placement and lots of play practices.
Diary 6, Episode 4: Another sexy trip to the cabin, lots of driving around, being cornered by annoying drunk girls at parties.
Diary 6, Episode 3: Exam season. Lots of complaining about cramming for exams, which inspires a "cheer up" flower delivery.
Diary 6, Episode 2: Life imitates art as Anner and I find inventive ways to keep warm at the cabin, and I include a cover page from an Archie Comic to illustrate this.
Diary 6, Episode 1: Over a year since Diary 5, and I have done a LOT of growing up. Gone is my careful, anatomical language in favour of more colourful, porno-inspired descriptions. In the intervening period, I had sex for the first time. Sadly, or perhaps luckily, no written record of this monumental moment exists. However, my writing shows a new level of comfort with all things sexual, particularly what I considered deviant.
With Special Guest, my sister Rebecca, defending her reputation and getting just as grossed out as me with some of my behaviours.
Diary 5, Episode 8: Zoolander has a litter of 4 kittens, then gets hit by a car, saddling me with 4-day old kittens. Plenty more horrid descriptions of newly budding sexuality.
Diary 5, Episode 7: If not for the lack of condoms, I totally would have gone all the way with Anner. That will have to wait. Safety first, kids!
Diary 5, Episode 6: I get my license, have lots of dance recitals, and scar a pizza delivery boy for life by answering the door in my bra.
Diary 5, Episode 5: Lots of euphemisms for masturbation, a birthday party, and beginning to think if I would like to have sex at some point soon,
Diary 5, Episode 4: Another 24-hour famine full of shenanigans, I try to pre-plan some dirty talk, and my mother continues to embarrass me.
Diary 5, Episode 3: More professions of love, tears because I am so in love, cheesy conversations that absolutely rocked my world. And a new technique to add to my blowjobs.
Diary 5, Episode 1: Description of a toxic friendship, some seriously sweet compliments, more gushy love stuff.
Diary 4 Episode 13: Oh boy. Hold onto your hats, people. I am reaching new sexual frontiers and describing them in scientific, analytic detail. I am so sorry.
Diary 4, Episode 12: A vacation to Mexico, an absolutely horrid description of my first handie and another fine example of poetry.
Diary 4, Episode 11: I make smart-ass remarks to visiting dignitaries and exchange Valentine's gifts with Anner.
Diary 4, Episode 10: I get my first job and recognize that my fast-and-loose behaviour has to change if I want my relationship to last.
Diary 4, Episode 9: A lot happens over Christmas break... Anner and I abuse his brother's good will in letting us use his room for untoward activities.
With Special Guest Krystal weighing in on all things young love.
Diary 4, Episode 8: Lots of play practice, some moonlight bowling, and a not at all tenuous soulmate connection through a photograph.
Diary 4, Episode 7: Trip to Ottawa for history class. Some good old fashioned make outs with others in the room.
Diary 4, Episode 6: Quick turn around between dating Kyle and dating Anner. First swoon-worthy kiss with Anner.
Diary 4, Episode 5: Serious crushing on Anner, especially after finding out that he likes me (surprise, surprise...). Putting myself into more bad situations with the grade 12 boys.
Diary 4, Episode 4: Good Charlotte concert, some super inappropriate remarks to the grade 12 boys.
Diary 4, Episode 3: I miss a lot of school, I break up with Josh and am whinily single for a few days before getting a new boyfriend.
With Special Guest appearance from Emma!
Diary 4, Episode 2: Getting into a bit more of the cringe-worthy writings as I discover my sexuality. Brief foray into modeling and I battle with how to break up with Josh while crushing on the boy who took his shirt off at a school dance and is in a band... Also verbalizing being wary of the older boys but doing absolutely nothing to distance myself from potentially bad situations.
Diary 4, Episode 1: Hillside, the disadvantages of coffee, and being unable to kiss my "super sweet" boyfriend.
With special guest Serra-Willow!
Diary 3, Episode 4: I get a boyfriend and have my first french kiss, after one hilarious fail.
Diary 3, Episode 3: A continuation of boy-craziness, coincidentally developing crushes on everyone who talks to me, and befriending a lot of grade 12 boys.
Diary 3, Episode 2: Formal, new "friends", definitely inappropriate friendships with older boys.
Diary 3, Episode 1: Will I get asked to Formal? Or will I be forever alone, as my little grade 9 lonely heart was convinced?
Diary 2, Episode 5: I was kind of a bummer in grade 9, as it turns out. More angst. End of my 2nd diary.
Diary 2, Episode 3: Play practices and major crushes. Flippant use of some serious words.
Diary 2, Episode 1: High school begins, as does a new diary! All new forms of judgement as I get a bit more comfortable with cussing but still get mad when others do it.
Diary 1, Episode 5: Another terrific poem about young love, followed by an abrupt ending.
Diary 1, Episode 4: Grade 8. Harmless flirting, boyfriends who I never see, some serious teen angst against my father who DARED not tell me about family weekend plans and was SO unfair for not letting me invite 21 people to my birthday party.
Diary 1, Episode 3: Boy-craziness continues. Kissing, hugging, break ups, ass-grabbing, and strip badminton. What more could you ask for?
Diary 1, Episode 2: My heartbreak over Damon moving is quickly replaced by "my second true love". My first boyfriend, my first kiss. Many more examples of the word "so" written with way too many o's.
Diary 1, Episode 1: Join me in beginning the trip down diary lane. Listen to my boy-crazy ramblings of grade 6 and into grade 7. Will I ever dance at a school dance? Does Damon really like me? Will I ever stop being annoyed by girls who act the exact same as me? Listen to find out.