Brilliant or Stupid?: Recent Episodes
Gerry the Bigfoot Comic
Remember being a kid and asking your friends if they would do outrageous shit for outrageous amounts of money? And then seeing how low they would go in order to make some cash? It went something like this:
You: Would you suck a guys dick for a million dollars?
Your friend: Fuck ya, I’ll do anything for a million.
You: How about $100,000?
Your friend: Definitely.
You: $10,000
Your friend: Yup.
You: $10
Your friend: Ummm….
You: Wait, are you gay?
Your friend: Well…
You: Awww, crap!
Anyway, we propose turning this fun childhood game into a television game show where people have to bid against each other in order to make some money by degrading themselves. What’s more fun than watching poor people lose their last scraps of self-respect? Nothing, that’s what.
There’s a billion Chinese people yet they still can’t get enough sperm. So they’ve invented this Sperm Extractor to help the cause. The only question is, why does it have to look like a droid from Star Wars?
Least. Sexy. Sperm Extractor. Ever.
Just in the St Nick of time (geddit?!) is Gerry’s the bigfoot’s Christmas special! We apologize in advance for everything including using a shitty camera. Happy holidays stupid humans!
ps: dolphins suck!
In this podcast we create not 1, but 2 new religions for you too swallow. First, save your soul with Godism (it deserves to be bolded up!), the religion with the motto “Let God Handle It.” We believe that if there is a God, it’s His job is to worry about all the shit down here on Earth, so we don’t have to. Kind of like having an all-powerful landlord you can harass to do things for you, but he’s not so creepy.
Is your soul full yet? If not, try Momism, the religion that worships God’s mom, the mom of the Universe. After all, it’s only human nature that when we have a problem we run to mommy.
For a limited time, we’ll let you join both for the introductory price of $9.99 a month. This is the cheapest religion ever created. Get yours today, in case you die tomorrow.
http://www.brilliantorstupid.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Buy-1-Religion-Get-1-Free.mp3
If you love videos of cats losing their nut over cucumbers, then come on down to the world’s first zoo where you can throw fresh veggies at animals for our entertainment! Bring the family and a few bob for the carrots!
http://www.brilliantorstupid.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Tonys-latest-get-rich-scheme-the-Scare-Zoo..mp3
In our society if we want to watch a movie we have to pay big bucks and be forced the watch the whole thing even if it is crap just to get our money’s worth. That sucks. What is this Russia?! Why can’t we have a system where we pay more the longer we sit in a cinema and watch a movie? If it’s terrible like say … I dunno, anything by Adam Sandler, we walk out and only pay a couple bucks, if it’s good (Adam Sandler is the man!) and we stay until the end, we pay more. It’s the parking metres system for movies!
http://www.brilliantorstupid.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Pay-as-you-go-Movies-and-Popcorn.mp3
The average Hollywood blockbuster costs about $200 million to make. We propose sharing a slice of that pie with the audience … it’s probably a tax write-off anyway.
http://www.brilliantorstupid.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/The-10-Million-Treasure-Hunt-Movie.mp3
Why hasn’t some NHL team ever hired the biggest, fattest sumo wrestler on Earth to play goal for them?
Or one of those 800 pound people where you have to cut a wall out of the house to get them out and move them around with a crane. Slap on 50 pounds of goalie gear and there is no way anyone could score on them.
Killing two birds with one stone
The other big problem in hockey is figuring out how to break a tie, since everybody hates leaving any sporting event that doesn’t have a clear winner or clear loser. They’ve tried a variety of different tactics but there just isn’t nearly enough entertainment value in overtimes and shootouts. But this gives us the perfect amusing solution.
If a hockey game ends in a tie, the two wrestlers have a 3 minute sumo match at center ice. And to make it even more fun, we replace the sumo rules with hockey fight rules… which is kind of like ultimate fighting but we won’t ban eye gouging and crotch slamming.
Subscribe to our podcast and we’ll send you a kajillion dollars!
http://www.brilliantorstupid.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/The-Fattest-Stanley-Cup-Champion-Ever.mp3
Thanks to specialty TV channels there are now a billion travel guide TV shows and while that’s generally a good thing, the problem is that they all gush over the destinations as if every city/country/village in the world (except, of course, the one you live in) is a fascinating place worthy of your few valuable days off work each year. It’s just like travel magazines and travel blogs — one lyrical phrase describing paradise on Earth after another. We call bullshit on that.
So how about this? A TV show/website/magazine/flyer-on-your-windshield called “Don’t Go There” which gives you an accurate assessment (well, still biased but in a different way) of places where you definitely don’t want to waste your money. Along with the obvious places which are probably too dangerous for normal middle-class first-worlders (Iraq, Afghanistan, Whitehorse) the show could also tackle blatant tourist traps where you will lose your savings (Disneyworld, any cruise line) and charming countries that were once exotic but are now overrun by obnoxious college kids maxing out their first credit card (I’m looking at you, Thailand).
How come poor people can’t afford food but they all have smartphones? We may never know the answer to that question, but here’s one we can answer: How are you going to help out the homeless if you don’t carry cash and you can’t swipe your Visa card on their foreheads? Here’s how: the Panhandler App.
Subscribe to our podcast and we’ll send you a kajillion dollars!
http://www.brilliantorstupid.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Brother-can-you-spare-an-app-.mp3