Unsuitable with MaryB. Safrit: Recent Episodes

Mary B. Safrit

This is a podcast where I interview single Christians about life and faith.

TW: homophobia, transphobia, suicidal thoughts

Today, April Ajoy tells her story of leaving Christian Nationalism. We also dig into what it's like being part of a queer family in the Southeastern US.

April is a content creator and podcast host who uses humor to shine light on harmful, toxic, and sometimes just weird traits of American Evangelicalism. After growing up an evangelist’s kid entrenched in Christian Nationalism and working in conservative Christian media, she saw the harm caused firsthand. Still a Christian, she uses her platform to expose the dangers of Christian Nationalism while promoting a more inclusive faith. April has been featured on Buzzfeed, CNN, Newsweek and more. She’s been married to Beecher for 10 years and they have two daughters together.

Please take care while listening, as there is discussion of homophobia, transphobia, and suicidal thoughts. If you're experiencing feelings of hopelessness or depression, please reach out to a trusted counselor or a hotline such as Trans Lifeline, which is 877-565-8860.

You can get your copy of Star Spangled Jesus wherever books are sold. Follow April on all social media platforms @aprilajoy. You can hear April on The New Evangelicals podcast every Friday wherever you are listening.

Support the show

You're going to be hearing from me today on a topic that's very close to my heart. This episode is for the folks who feel like their church doesn't know what to do with them.

Get a FREE sixty-minute coaching session by filling out this interest form!

You can follow me on Instagram and TikTok @maryb.safrit. If you enjoyed this episode, I send out a free monthly message just like this one over on Substack. Join the crew at marybsafrit.substack.com.

Support the show

Today, you'll hear the story of a theologian who was put on trial for herasy by his denomination for promoting queer affirming theology.

Thomas Jay Oord, PhD, is a theologian, philosopher, and scholar of multidisciplinary studies. He is a best-selling and award-winning author, having written or edited 30+ books. Academic Influence ranks him among the most influential theologians of the 21st century. Oord directs a doctoral program at Northwind Theological Seminary and directs the Center for Open and Relational Theology. He is known for his research and writing on love, open and relational theology, science and religion, evil and power, and the implications of freedom and relationships for transformation.

You can find Tom on social media @thomasjayoord. His website is thomasjayoord.com. My Defense is available on Amazon, as are all of Tom's books.

Support the show

None

Nina Badzin and I are answering one of the most pressing questions she gets about friendship... plus how to make friends outside your church community, why communication matters so freaking much, and more!

Nina Badzin (she/her) is the host of the podcast Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship. She’s been writing about friendship since 2014, co-leads creative writing groups in Minneapolis, and writes the Substack newsletter Conversations About Friendship. You can find her on Instagram and TikTok at @dearninafriendship.

Support the show

Today's episode is a practical, delightful discussion of identity, exploration, confidence, and clothing with a color expert who wants to help you love yourself as you are, no matter who you are.

Lindsey Myers (she/her) founded Created Colorful in 2020 while navigating being a new mom. Pouring any energy she had into her kids, Lindsey slowly realized she had nothing left for herself. Hope came crashing into her life once she learned color analysis–a process where each person has a set of colors that objectively flatters them. From there, she was hooked. Through sharing her findings on Instagram, Lindsey quickly was flooded with requests and became a CEO “overnight” when Created Colorful was born. Its goal is to help you love how you naturally look by providing real and honest shopping + styling advice, no matter your size, age, or season of life. Created Colorful’s color analysis process works for all skin tones, types and ethnicities—including yours–allowing the brand to help more than 20,000 clients to date find their colors and reignite self-confidence.

In this episode, you'll hear Lindsey and I discuss:

What is color analysis and why does it matter?
The simple test that takes our confidence to the next level
Navigating the surprising vulnerability of letting ourselves be seen when we know we look good
How our clothes can help us explore and communicate who we are--and find our people
And how to manage the complex negotiation of self-expression and safety.

You can follow Lindsey on Instagram @createdcolorful. Check out all her courses and offering on her website createdcolorful.com.

Support the Show.

This episode is about why found family matters when the world is on fire. If you're feeling fatigued and prone to isolation when the ish hits the fan, this episode is for you!

If you like this episode, you should sign up for my Substack and get a free message like this one delivered to your inbox on the last Tuesday of every month. It's totally free, and there are several pieces you can read while awaiting your next Found Family message.

Support the Show.

Today, we're getting super practical for folks who are looking for new pals who might become found family but aren't part of a church community and don't have a million dollars.

If you like this episode, you should sign up for my Substack and get a free message like this one delivered to your inbox on the last Tuesday of every month. It's totally free, and there are several pieces you can read while awaiting your next Found Family message.

If you have other ideas on how to become a regular, come join the conversation on Instagram or TikTok and follow me @maryb.safrit. Make sure to rate and review so we can hear what you think!

Support the Show.

We're taking a break from interviews for the month of July. But don't worry, we have some solo episodes lined up for you! The first is the story of the Sunday I left my former church for the last time and attended Pride for the first time.

If you like this episode, you should sign up for my Substack and get a free message like this one delivered to your inbox on the last Tuesday of every month. It's totally free, and there are several pieces you can read while awaiting your next Found Family message.

Follow me on Instagram and TikTok @maryb.safrit so you don't miss updates and bonus content.

Support the Show.

Today's episode is the complex and very personal story of navigating and leaving non-affirming spaces after coming out.

Moriah Conant (they/she) is a psychologist-in-training who specializes in working with LGBTQIA+ individuals, young adults, and healing from trauma. They utilize a relational psychodynamic approach to therapy, along with feminist psychology and LGBTQIA+ affirming psychology. She is passionate about making mental healthcare and information about mental health accessible and equitable. They are currently completing their training through a placement at a university counseling center.

In this episode, you'll hear Moriah and I discuss:

Our very personal, complex stories of leaving non-affirming churches
Letting go of people and places who cannot love you as you are
Taking ownership of our boundaries and agency
Practical tips to support yourself as you figure out if you want to stay or leave
What happens if the non-affirming space is your employer or your school?
And so much more!

You can follow Moriah on Instagram @mconantpsychology.

Support the Show.

Today's episode is the story of an autistic Black and Indigenous femme creative powerhouse who wants to help us center rest, pleasure, and abundance in our actual lives.

Sara Elise (she/her) is a multidisciplinary creative, splitting her time between Brooklyn and The Catskills, New York. She works primarily in the hospitality, well-being, and food industries and is the cofounder and designer of Apogeo Collective, a hospitality experience centering QTPOC, as well as the founder of Harvest & Revel, a sustainable event catering + design company.

She has been featured in Dazed, Autostraddle, Playboy, Interview Mag, Essence, Afropunk, mindbodygreen, Healthy-ish, Well + Good, Nylon, StyleLikeU, and them, among other publications. And was named one of BK Magazine's 50 Most Fascinating People in 2022.

As an autistic Black & Indigenous femme, she spends much of her thoughtspace contemplating pleasure + pain, collective joy + healing, otherness, embodiment, remembering + reclaiming, self-destruction, and growth— and how inextricably those concepts are linked. To that end, Sara Elise has deep interests in ritualization, BDSM, relationship dynamics, and the development of decolonized personal awareness and well-being.

With all of her work, she aims to challenge our collective reality by first reimagining and then creating alternative systems and spaces for Black & Indigenous people of color and LGBTQIA2S+ people to thrive.

In this episode, you'll hear Sara Elise and I discuss

Creating tools to support us in our most human moments
Abundance, but not the capitalistic kind
Building supportive rituals as a late-diagnosed autistic person
Hospitality that treats everyone as desired and essential
And so much more!

A Recipe for More is available wherever you buy books. Snag a signed copy by DMing Sara Elise on Instagram and mentioning Found Family. You can join Sara Elise's community-making at @SaraElise333 on Instagram, and find more of her writing at saraelise.substack.com. To learn more about Apogeo Collective or book your trip to the guest house, visit apogeocollective.com.

Support the Show.

Today's episode is the story of a woman who moved beyond ethnic loneliness by embracing her ethnic identity and finding belonging.

Prasanta Verma (MBA, MPH) (she/her) was born under an Asian sun, raised in the Appalachian foothills in the South, and now resides in the Upper Midwest. Her essays and poetry have been published in Sojourners, Propel Women, (in)courage, Inheritance Magazine, the Indianapolis Review, Barren Magazine, and the Mudroom blog. She served as a speech and debate coach for over ten years. When she's not writing, speaking, or working, she's drinking chai, walking, or reading. Prasanta lives with her family in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

In this episode, you'll hear Prasanta and I discuss:

The universal and nuanced experiences of loneliness for BIPOC
How to find agency and belonging for ourselves
Tips for creating safe commmunity
What Indian food teaches us about Indian culture
And how white folks can support BIPOC friends experiencing ethnic loneliness.

Beyond Ethnic Loneliness is available wherever you buy books. Follow Prasanta on IG @prasantaverma and on X @vermaprasanta. Check out more of her work on her website, prasantaverma.com.

Support the Show.

Today's episode is the story of how to find your people and create safety when building community online.

Jenna DeWitt (she/her) is a sapphic aromantic asexual writer, editor, and resource curator. She is also an advocate, community builder, and Californian.

In this episode, you'll hear Jenna and I discuss

Finding resources that work for you, and sharing that oasis of resources with others.
The generous, life-saving rules of online communities that actually work.
Identifying the shared values and group rules that make the community better.
Widening our definition of "found family"
and more!

You can find Jenna's work—including essays, poetry, resource lists, and podcast episodes—at InvisibleCakeSociety.com, on Twitter @Jenna_DeWitt, or on Threads @JennaDeWitt.

Support the Show.

This episode is the story of everything we've misunderstood about anarchy (and how it gels with Christianity) from the most delightful anarchist theologian.

Terry J. Stokes (he/they) is a director of a youth development nonprofit organization on Lenape land now known as Trenton, NJ. He is also an anarchist theologian who seeks to support folks’ political and spiritual radicalization through his writing and speaking. He holds degrees from Yale University and Princeton Theological Seminary, and is the author of the new book Jesus and the Abolitionists: How Anarchist Christianity Empowers the People.

In this episode, you'll hear Terry and I discuss:

Anarchy as a philosophy of freedom and abundance, not destruction or nihilism
Nonviolent communication, mutual aid, and interdependence
Seeing scripture through the lens of anarchy—and vice versa
How utopias may be more accessible than we thought
What Leo Tolstoy and Jesus have in common
and more!

Jesus and the Abolitionists is out TODAY and available wherever you buy books. You can follow Terry on socials @ theologywterry. Their podcast is "Abolishing the state in a cool Christian way." Follow their Substack, anarchistxtianity.

Support the Show.

Today's episode is the story of an author and advocate working to uproot systemic racism so we can create commmunities that are better for everyone.

Latasha Morrison (she/her) is a distinguished author and nonprofit founder widely known for her transformative work in fostering racial reconciliation and unity. As a New York Times best-selling author, she has captured the hearts and minds of readers worldwide with her powerful words and insightful perspectives. She founded the nonprofit Be the Bridge in 2016 to encourage racial reconciliation among all ethnicities, to promote racial unity in America and to equip others to do the same. In the book, she equips and calls readers to break the systems that have for so long marginalized the BIPOC communities. Through her writing and advocacy, Latasha Morrison is a beacon of hope, igniting conversations, challenging social norms and empowering others to take action toward a more inclusive and equitable world.

In today's episode, you'll hear Latasha and I discuss

Sustainability and rest when navigating white spaces
Why we need to tell the truth about our history
Prioritizing someone else’s sorrow over our own defensiveness
And more!

Brown Faces, White Spaces is available TODAY wherever you buy books. You can follow Latasha all the places @ latashamorrison and @ bethebridge. Check out more of her work at latashamorrison.com

Support the Show.

Today's episode is the story of a guncle finding family and finding himself through the imagination-expanding power of relationships.

Jonathan Merritt (he/him) is an award-winning columnist and commentator on politics, spirituality, and culture. He is a contributing editor for The Week and has been featured on prominent national outlets including The New York Times, USA Today, The Washington Post, The Atlantic, and CNN. Jonathan has authored four critically-acclaimed books and has also served as a ghostwriter on dozens of others, many of which became New York Times bestsellers. Jonathan is a proud biological Guncle to five little ones in Georgia and a proud adoptive Guncle to ten nephews and nieces in the Chelsea neighborhood of Manhattan, where he resides.

In today's episode, you'll hear Jonathan and I discuss:

What a children's book about a Guncle can teach us about celebrating ourselves.
Learning who we are in the midst of found family
Embracing our differences not as liabilities but gifts
Accepting limitations in relationships
And the messy reality of loving across differences.

You can get your copy of My Guncle and Me TODAY wherever books are sold. Follow Jonathan on the 'gram and Threads @jonathan_merritt. Read more of Jonathan's work on his website www.jonathanmerritt.com

Support the Show.

Today's episode is the story of an expert in all things story who is obsessed with helping you unearth your inner wisdom and connect with your people by teaching you to write your story.

Allison Fallon (she/her) is an author, speaker, and founder of Find Your Voice, a community that supports anyone who wants to write anything. In addition to her books The Power of Writing It Down, Packing Light, and Indestructible, she has ghostwritten 11 books and has collaborated on countless others. Through Find Your Voice, she has helped leaders of multinational corporations, stay-at-home moms, Olympic gold medalists, recovering addicts, political figures, CEOs, and prison inmates use her methods as powerful tools to generate positive change in their lives. She has lived all over the country in the past decade but now lives in Nashville, Tenn., with her husband and two kids, Nella and Charlie.

Ally and I discuss

Writing your story as a practice of personal development
The counterintuitive trick to writing resonantly
The storytelling techniques that transform us
Rethinking what it means to be the "hero" of your story
and so much more!

You can follow Ally at allisonfallon.com. Write Your Story is out TODAY and available wherever you buy books. Follow her on Instagram @allyfallon. Listen to her podcast, Write Your Story, wherever you're listening to this one or anywhere else you might stream episodes. Additional resources can be found at findyourvoice.com and writeyourstory.com.

Support the Show.

None

Today's episode is the story of a woman who survived and escaped the Christian Patriarchy movement and created a new life of agency, advocacy, and unconditional love.

Cait West is a writer and editor based in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Her work has been published in The Revealer, Religion Dispatches, Fourth Genre and Hawai`i Pacific Review, among others. As an advocate and a survivor of the Christian patriarchy movement, she serves on the editorial board for Tears of Eden, a nonprofit providing resources for survivors of spiritual abuse, and co-hosts the Survivors Discuss podcast.

In this episode, you'll hear Cait and I discuss:

Detangling the perfectionism that patriarchy rewards
Repairing the line between us and our anger
Growing up within the Christian Patriarchy Movement — and un-forming its work in us
Reconnecting ourselves with our agency—and building support systems that can help that thrive
and more!

Cait's story and perspective are compelling and compassionately told!

Rift is out today and available wherever books are sold! Follow Cait on social media @ caitwestwrites. You can read more of her work on her website, caitwest.com, and on her substack, caitwest.substack.com.

Tea With TJ
Join me every Wed. for a discussion on life's insights through a creative lens
Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Support the Show.

Today's episode is the story of a celibate gay man who finds family through committed friendship and embracing clarity and different convictions in the LGBTQ+ Christian community.

Art Pereira (he/him) was born in Minas Gerais, Brazil, and immigrated to the United States at the age of four. Having navigated marginalization from a young age both as an immigrant and a gay man, Art has a heart for community-building across cultural divides. After earning a BS in Youth Ministry from Nyack College, Art spent the last ten years working in youth ministry, growing his own heart for discipleship and pastoral care.

Art has spoken at Revoice conferences and several podcasts on the topics of sexuality, faith, and community. He currently resides in Bernardsville, NJ, where he shares an apartment with his chosen brother and 60+ houseplants.

In this episode, you'll hear Art and I discuss

How to navigate differences in conviction and theology with nuance and inclusivity
Making and keeping friends through life changes
The found family of immigrant churches
Why we can retire from being the morality police
and trusting the Holy Spirit will do their thing with others.

You can learn more about revoice and get your tickets to the June conference at revoice.org. Use code REVOICEPOD for $10 off your ticket. Follow @ revoiceorg on the 'gram for updates and encouragement, and follow @ art_per for pictures of coffee and plants.

The Unconventional Therapists' Guide to Nothing
Two therapists over-analyzing everything and anything to make it all make sense in the...
Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Today's episode is the story of a 40-year-old intentional community in San Francisco, as told by a self-professed granny queer who's seen the LGBTQ Christian scene evolve since she came out in her thirties.

Lin Melone (she/her) is a member of the Church of the Sojourners, an intentional Christian community in San Francisco, California. She has spoken at LGBTQ Christian conferences such as Q Christian Fellowship, Revoice, and E3, and presented workshops at children's ministry conferences on how to make churches more welcoming for LGBTQ youth and families. She also serves on the QCF EDI Advisory. She is the queer mom of a grown son from a former mixed-orientation marriage, and after retiring from a career as a Montessori teacher, she currently works for Catholic Charities in homelessness prevention.

In this episode, you'll hear Lin and I discuss

Creating inclusive, empowering spaces for diverse beliefs, convictions, and experiences
Tips for keeping your community from veering into cult territory
How to structure a flexible community that works for its people
and the importance of having non-negotiable and negotiable values--and knowing what yours are!

You can learn more about Lin's church and community at churchofthesojourners.org. If you'd like to support Red Letter Christians, head to redletterchristians.org. Their Gaza Peace Pilgrimage has already happened, but Red Letter Christians and the organizations that also organized the pilgrimage are still active in calls for a ceasefire. Lin particularly recommends checking out and supporting Freedom Road. You can find ways to do so at freedomroad.us

The LYLAS Podcast
If you know what LYLAS stands for, then this podcast is for you! Two besties since...
Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Welcome to our very first episode as Found Family! I can't think of a better conversation to kick things off. Today, I'm talking to Nia and Katie Chiaramonte.

Nia Chiaramonte holds a BA in psychology from the University of Northern Iowa and an MBA in Human Resources from Northwest Missouri State. She is currently the Executive Director of Human Resources for a non-profit near Washington DC. Nia spent the first thirty-five years of her life hiding in plain sight, scared to be who she is and scared of what it might cost her. While the cost has been high, the reward of being free has been worth it. She is cofounder of Love in the Face, an organization to help and support other transgender and LGBTQIA+ individuals on their own journeys of self-discovery.

Katie J. Chiaramonte holds a BA in family services from the University of Northern Iowa and is a sendee of The LivingSchool. In addition, she is a certified reproductive doula. After over fifteen years of formal and informal lay ministry in the Christian tradition, Katie has found that love has brought her out into a more spacious place where tradition melts away and all things connect in a wide and endless web

Y'all are going to love Nia and Katie. In this episode, you'll hear us talk about:

What is queer family, and how to embrace it
Navigating the coming out journey with family and community
A nontoxic practice of forgiveness
The generative synergy of queer community and creative community
and more!!

Thanks for listening! Embracing Queer Family is available wherever you buy books. Nia and Katie are on Instagram @finding.nia and @katiechiaramonte. You can listen to their podcast, Love in the Face wherever you get podcasts. Learn more about their work at loveintheface.com

The LYLAS Podcast
If you know what LYLAS stands for, then this podcast is for you! Two besties since...
Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Many of us have been sold the idea that family is a matter of blood and legally binding agreements. But something in you knows that can't be all there is. But what is the alternative to the model we've been given?

Welcome to Found Family. Every Tuesday, I have honest conversations with our dynamite guests, celebrating the creative ways they make community in their actual lives and providing tips about how you can do the same.

Our first episode drops next Tuesday, so make sure to hit that follow button wherever you're listening so you don't miss any of the dynamite interviews we have coming up! That's all for now. Catch you on the flippity flop.

After 11 seasons, 127 episodes, and 99 interviews with single Christians, Unsuitable is evolving. I use the word "evolve" very intentionally here. While we will be operating under a new name and fresh branding, our beating heart will remain the same. All existing episodes will stay up and available. If you're following us on your fav podcast app, you won't have to re-follow us when we re-launch. We will continue to center single folks creating community in their actual lives. We will also center queer folks and others whose stories and wisdom have not been cherished by the white evangelical church. We will also no longer be an exclusively Christian podcast, as we believe there are glimmers of God's goodness everywhere. And it's often those who have been cast aside by institutions like the church who have the clearest vision for creating spaces of inclusion and belonging.

Exciting changes are coming in just a few short weeks. However, this is a sort of ending. To honor what we've built over the past five years and thank our faithful listeners, I've written y'all a love letter. You know I think the world of you, so sit back and relax as I attempt to put my feelings into words.

To all my Unsuitable pals, stay tuned for what's coming up. I'm never not grateful for you. Thank you for listening, whether you are new to these parts or you've been following us for years. We truly appreciate how you've hung with us as we've grown and particularly as I've come out. You are open and curious and always prove me right when I believe the very best about you. You can follow along with what's coming up on my Instagram @ maryb.safrit, or by getting on the email list at marybsafrit.com/links. Cannot wait to share what's next for Unsuitable.

Meg Baatz is the co-founder of Kaleidoscope, a New York–based organization helping provide LGBTQ+ people with tangible expressions of Jesus. Meg is a bridge-builder and ministry educator whose desire is to see people grow personally and engage locally in diverse communities – particularly at the intersection of sexuality, gender, and spiritual life with Jesus. Prior to launching Kaleidoscope, Meg spent 6 years educating ministry leaders on enhancing LGBTQ+ inclusion and care. Meg holds a degree in Social Work from Colorado State University.

In today's episode, you'll hear Meg and I talk about:

why church folks need to let go of our need to appear righteous
refocusing how we use our privilege
what aspiring allies to the LGBTQ+ community need to know when starting that journey, how to not pass on false gospels and despair
and the barriers queer people face when trying to stay with Jesus

You can follow Kaleidoscope on Instagram and TikTok @kaleidoscope.usa. Check out the episode description for all the links to the amazing resources Meg talked about. You can follow Meg on Instagram @kaleidomeg

The Tiny Brand experience is a done-for-you collaboration, a silver platter of fonts, colors, and design elements tailored for you and your business delivered within a quick turnaround of just 48 hours. If beautiful branding done by someone who just gets you is your vibe, you need to work with Karla at The Inspired Foundry / get a Tiny Brand. Use INSPIREDMARYB to get $50 off your Tiny Brand! Head to www.yourtinybrand.com for all the details.

It's no secret that many singles feel like outsiders in the church. That's why we've created a Patreon community. For a small monthly fee, you can get access to bonus content, plus a community where your voice and presence are valued. Tiers start at just $5/month. Sign up at patreon.com/unsuitable. I can't wait to see you there!

The Single Christian's Church Survival Guide isn’t a book about how to get un-single. It's about how to navigate a culture obsessed with marriage as a human who is not married. Each chapter breaks down a common scenario, why it’s weird, and contextual options on how to respond. If you’re done accepting the same tired interactions that leave you discouraged and disempowered, head to Amazon and get your copy of The Single Christian's Church Survival Guide now!

The LYLAS Podcast
If you know what LYLAS stands for, then this podcast is for you! Two besties since...
Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Originally from Kenya and currently based in Fort Worth, Texas, Henry is a Christian man who writes on Faith, Friendships, Sexuality, Race, Jesus and a host of other topics. He loves hosting dinner parties, running, live music, deep friendships, red wine, Beyonce, and all things Texas.

In today's episode, you'll hear Henry and I talk about:

holding our married friends accountable
the vulnerability of sharing our suffering
and tangible ways the church can show up for singles

You can follow Henry on Instagram and on Twitter @henryabuto. Be sure to check out his website, henryabuto.com.

It's no secret that many singles feel like outsiders in the church. That's why we've created a Patreon community. For a small monthly fee, you can get access to bonus content, plus a community where your voice and presence are valued. Tiers start at just $5/month. Sign up at patreon.com/unsuitable. I can't wait to see you there!

Looking for the perfect gift for your favorite single pal--or for a treat for yourself? You're going to love our line of cheeky, empowering merch for those walking a non-traditional path. We have beanies, sweatshirts, mugs, and more with phrases like "nobody's better half, already whole" and designs you'll love to rock. Snag yours at marybsafrit.com/shop. Alright, let's dive into today's episode.

Singles find themselves in a lot of awkward situations at church. When you take The Single Christian Derptitude test, choose your knee-jerk reaction to each prompt and learn your social superpower. Think of it like an aptitude test... for all the weird things people say to singles at church. Take this fun, free quiz at marybsafrit.com.

The LYLAS Podcast
If you know what LYLAS stands for, then this podcast is for you! Two besties since...
Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Bridget Eileen Rivera provides support to churches and ministries seeking to improve their relationship with the LGBTQ community. A leading voice on gay celibacy in the church, Bridget helps Christians better grapple with gender and sexuality in a divided culture. She has worked with a number of faith-based organizations, including Revoice, Christians for Social Action, and Preston Sprinkle's Center for Faith, Sexuality, and Gender, where she contributed to the Digital Leaders Forum. The recipient of multiple fellowship awards, she is completing her PhD in sociology at the CUNY Graduate Center and serves as an adjunct professor at John Jay College of Criminal Justice. Her first book, Heavy Burdens (Brazos Press 2022), was a Foreword INDIES 2022 Finalist in religion

In this episode, you'll hear Bridget and I talk about

The beauty of finding and building chosen family
The role of commitment in friendships and spiritual families
How to have a “commitment conversation” with a friend
All the good, beautiful, and messy meanings of pride

You can follow Bridget on Instagram and Twitter @travelingnun. Check out her writing on her website, meditationsofatravelingnun.com. Heavy Burdens: Seven Ways LGBTQ People Experience Harm in the Church is available wherever you buy books.

It's no secret that many singles feel like outsiders in the church. That's why we've created a Patreon community. For a small monthly fee, you can get access to bonus content, plus a community where your voice and presence are valued. Tiers start at just $5/month. Sign up at patreon.com/unsuitable. I can't wait to see you there!

Valentine's Day and Ash Wednesday fall on the same day this year. So I've created some Ash Valentine's for you to download and send to your pals. They're silly and irreverent and perfect for folks who could use a laugh this February 14. Get yours for free at marybsafrit.com/links. Alright, let's dive into today's episode

Looking for the perfect gift for your favorite single pal--or for a treat for yourself? You're going to love our line of cheeky, empowering merch for those walking a non-traditional path. We have beanies, sweatshirts, mugs, and more with phrases like "nobody's better half, already whole" and designs you'll love to rock. Snag yours at marybsafrit.com/shop. Alright, let's dive into today's episode.

The LYLAS Podcast
If you know what LYLAS stands for, then this podcast is for you! Two besties since...
Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Dr. David Bennett is from Sydney, Australia. He recently completed his doctorate (DPhil) in theology at Oxford University where he now works as a postdoctoral research fellow in the Theology and Religion Faculty. He specialises in the relationship between the Trinity, Christian ethics, patristics, queer theology, discipleship and contemporary Anglican theology, especially the role of desire in knowing God

David is an author, speaker, and theologian scholar who speaks and writes on a wide range of topics including theology, desire, beauty, gender, theodicy, suffering, ethics, and sexuality. He is frequently asked to appear and speak internationally in a variety of settings including churches, academic conferences, national radio and TV including VICE Australia, and on BBC platforms such as the BBC One Documentary, Young, Gay, Christian. As a gay celibate Christian, he is seeking to be a fresh voice on the topics of love, holiness, desire and sexuality to show how people can live and flourish through Christ’s cross-shaped teaching. He is passionate about equipping the Church to better love the LGBTQI+ and other minority communities, and the art of showing solidarity to those who are different or other to us. His other interests include French, Latin, church history, writing, travel, cooking, reading books, and living in Christian community.

In today's episode, David and I cover a LOT of ground. You'll hear us discuss:

the patterns of toxicity every ideology is prone to
why we need the passionate side of love
why singles (esp. gay celibates) get so much push back
why church leaders need to come to terms with the social and cultural privilege they have because of marriage
and literally so much more.

You can follow David on Instagram and Twitter @davidacbennett. Check out more of his work at davidacbennett.com. His Book, A War of Loves, is available wherever books are sold.

The LYLAS Podcast
If you know what LYLAS stands for, then this podcast is for you! Two besties since...
Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

TW: sexual assault and abuse

OK you know I love all my podcast guests and conversations equally, but this one was a particularly special one. Back in Season 8, our pal Matt Linden acted as guest host and had a fantastic conversation with Anna Primrose about non-sexual touch and y'all--they have RECEIPTS.

In today’s episode, you’ll hear Matt and Anna talk about

the cost of touch deprivation
Why non-sexual touch is so important
how gender norms and sexuality play into our view of touch
how we can move forward

Anna is a 30-something single woman with a passion for singles’ advocacy in the church. She’s the founder of an online community called The Single Hearted Life, which exists to dismantle the myths about marriage and singleness in our society to cultivate a culture where single humans can thrive. Offline, Anna is a swiftie, a Star Wars fan, and a psychology student. She lives in Boise with two roommates, a cat, and a never ending reservoir of books and feelings. You can join our community at @singleheartedlife on Instagram, or connect with Anna at @annaIPrimrose1 on Twitter.

Matt is a gay Christian who lives in Germany. He’s a church kid who grew up in a conservative non-denominational environment – so when he realized he was gay at 13, a 21-year battle began to reconcile his faith with his sexuality. On his blog, The Crossing, Matt tells the story of his religious trauma in memoir format. You can follow Matt on Instagram @mattlinden, and his blog is crossingblog.com

Looking for the perfect gift for your favorite single pal--or for a treat for yourself? You're going to love our line of cheeky, empowering merch for those walking a non-traditional path. We have beanies, sweatshirts, mugs, and more with phrases like "nobody's better half, already whole" and designs you'll love to rock. Snag yours at marybsafrit.com/shop.

The Single Christian's Church Survival Guide isn’t a book about how to get un-single. It's about how to navigate a culture obsessed with marriage as a human who is not married. Each chapter breaks down a common scenario, why it’s weird, and contextual options on how to respond. If you’re done accepting the same tired interactions that leave you discouraged and disempowered, head to Amazon and get your copy of The Single Christian's Church Survival Guide now!

Have you ever wanted to start your own podcast? Podcasting is a great way to expand your reach online. Buzzsprout makes it easy to get started. If you follow the link in the show notes, you can get a $20 Amazon gift card if you sign up for a paid plan, and help support the show.

The LYLAS Podcast
If you know what LYLAS stands for, then this podcast is for you! Two besties since...
Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Buzzsprout - Let's launch your podcast!
Get started for FREE!

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Today we are running it back to my conversation at the beginning of Season 8 with Ekemini Uwan. Ekemini is a public theologian and co-author of Truth’s Table: Black Women’s Musings on Life, Love, and Liberation.

She is the co-host of the award-winning podcast, Truth's Table and Get In The Word With Truth’s Table. Ekemini is also a contributing writer for Hallmark Mahogany and Christianity Today named her among "10 New or Lesser-Known Female Theologians Worth Knowing.” Her writings have been published in The Atlantic, The Washington Post, The Huffington Post Black Voices, Christianity Today, and The Witness: A Black Christian Collective to name a few. Ekemini has appeared on MSNBC, and her insights are quoted by NPR, CNN, The New York Times, The Washington Post, and The New Yorker among other publications. As one who is passionate about theology, Ekemini has a fierce commitment to the gospel and its implications for issues pertaining to racial injustice, anti-black racism, and white supremacy.

In this episode, you'll hear Ekemini and I talk about:

the unique injustices single black women face
how to broaden the way we think about contentment
what healthy community in singleness looks like
and ways to uproot shame.

You can follow Ekemini on Twitter @sista_theology, Instagram @sistatheology, and Facebook at facebook.com/sistatheology. Her website is sistamatictheology.com. The Truth's Table book is available wherever books are sold, and you can listen to Truth's Table and Get in the Word with Truth's Table wherever you get your podcasts.

It's no secret that many singles feel like outsiders in the church. That's why we've created a Patreon community. For a small monthly fee, you can get access to bonus content, plus a community where your voice and presence are valued. Tiers start at just $5/month. Sign up at patreon.com/unsuitable. I can't wait to see you there!

Valentine's Day and Ash Wednesday fall on the same day this year. So I've created some Ash Valentine's for you to download and send to your pals. They're silly and irreverent and perfect for folks who could use a laugh this February 14. Get yours for free at marybsafrit.com/links.

Looking for the perfect gift for your favorite single pal--or for a treat for yourself? You're going to love our line of cheeky, empowering merch for those walking a non-traditional path. We have beanies, sweatshirts, mugs, and more with phrases like "nobody's better half, already whole" and designs you'll love to rock. Snag yours at marybsafrit.com/shop.

The LYLAS Podcast
If you know what LYLAS stands for, then this podcast is for you! Two besties since...
Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Tiny Brand
The Tiny Brand Experience is a done-for-you brand collaboration designed just for your business.

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Today, we're dipping into the archives to share the extended cut of my conversation with Obi Okolo from Season 4, which we recorded in June 2020. Obiekwe "Obi" Okolo is a Nigerian American photographer, multimedia artist, and reluctant writer. He's also Creative Director at BitterSweet Creative and the Arts & Culture Editor for BitterSweet Monthly. Raised in Lagos, Nigeria, and San Antonio, Texas, his work, from an early career in architecture to his recent explorations in the written word and portraiture, are most concerned with articulating the reconciling of humanity to itself—mirroring the lifelong reconciliation at play within his own identity as a child of two worlds. Obi’s work has been displayed in various mediums, navigating disciplines such as portraiture, documentary photography, product and graphic design, exhibitions, and print.

In this absolute gem of an episode, you'll hear Obi and I discuss

The struggle to justify the validity of art and creativity
The ego work every creative person must go through
Design as necessity
Loosening our trust in productivity, and strengthening our trust in the process

You can follow Obi on Instagram @obiekweokolo and on his website obiekweokolo.com

The Tiny Brand experience is a done-for-you collaboration, a silver platter of fonts, colors, and design elements tailored for you and your business delivered within a quick turnaround of just 48 hours. If beautiful branding done by someone who just gets you is your vibe, you need to work with Karla at The Inspired Foundry / get a Tiny Brand. Use INSPIREDMARYB to get $50 off your Tiny Brand! Head to www.yourtinybrand.com for all the details.

It's no secret that many singles feel like outsiders in the church. That's why we've created a Patreon community. For a small monthly fee, you can get access to bonus content, plus a community where your voice and presence are valued. Tiers start at just $5/month. Sign up at patreon.com/unsuitable. I can't wait to see you there!

Valentine's Day and Ash Wednesday fall on the same day this year. So I've created some Ash Valentine's for you to download and send to your pals. They're silly and irreverent and perfect for folks who could use a laugh this February 14. Get yours for free at marybsafrit.com/links. Alright, let's dive into today's episode

The LYLAS Podcast
If you know what LYLAS stands for, then this podcast is for you! Two besties since...
Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Today you'll hear my full conversation with the inimitable Katelyn Beaty from Season 8, specifically, December 2022. Katelyn Beaty is a Midwest native living in New York City, and editorial director for Brazos Press. But the most important thing you should know about her is that she loves words and believes they can change the world. Katelyn served as Christianity Today magazine's youngest and first female managing editor.

She has written for The New Yorker, The Washington Post, The Atlantic, and The New York Times on light topics such as politics, gender, and theology and has commented on faith and culture for CNN, ABC, NPR, Associated Press, Religion News Service, and the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation.

Katelyn enjoys exploring NYC, karaoke (post-pandemic, of course), FaceTimeing with her nephew, international travel, and starting the day with the NYT Spelling Bee.

In this episode, you'll hear Katelyn and I discuss

Why we are so prone to put people on pedestals
How we can slowly reclaim a vision of ordinary faithfulness
The problem with singles’ events at most churches
The long-term impact of churches who treat their singles as an afterthought

You can follow Katelyn on Intagram @katelyn_beaty and on Twitter @KatelynBeaty. Read more of her work at katelynbeaty.com. Celebrities for Jesus is available wherever you buy books.

Link to "In the Bleak Midwinter" by Richard Allain

The Tiny Brand experience is a done-for-you collaboration, a silver platter of fonts, colors, and design elements tailored for you and your business delivered within a quick turnaround of just 48 hours. If beautiful branding done by someone who just gets you is your vibe, you need to work with Karla at The Inspired Foundry / get a Tiny Brand. Use INSPIREDMARYB to get $50 off your Tiny Brand! Head to www.yourtinybrand.com for all the details.

It's no secret that many singles feel like outsiders in the church. That's why we've created a Patreon community. For a small monthly fee, you can get access to bonus content, plus a community where your voice and presence are valued. Tiers start at just $5/month. Sign up at patreon.com/unsuitable. I can't wait to see you there!

The LYLAS Podcast
If you know what LYLAS stands for, then this podcast is for you! Two besties since...
Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Buzzsprout - Let's launch your podcast!
Get started for FREE!

Tiny Brand
The Tiny Brand Experience is a done-for-you brand collaboration designed just for your business.

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

It's our final episode of the holiday mini-season. Fear not, pals, we have some fun stuff planned for between the seasons! This week, we're ending the season with an episode on change. It's New Year Resolution season, and in this episode, you'll hear about the key to sustainable growth.

Looking for the perfect gift for your favorite single pal--or for a holiday treat for yourself? We just launched a line of cheeky, empowering merch for those walking a non-traditional path. We have beanies, sweatshirts, mugs, and more with phrases like "why are you married?" and designs you'll love to rock. Snag yours at marybsafrit.com/shop.

It's no secret that many singles feel like outsiders in the church. That's why we've created a Patreon community. For a small monthly fee, you can get access to bonus content, plus a community where your voice and presence are valued. Tiers start at just $5/month. Sign up at patreon.com/unsuitable. I can't wait to see you there!

"Improving Ourselves to Death" by Alexandra Schwartz for The New Yorker

It's almost Christmas, which means we are almost at the end of our holiday mini-season! Today, you'll hear about why I hate using the word "waiting" when talking about singleness, how to reframe the narrative around "waiting," and why our big feelings actually make us primed to celebrate Christmas.

Here’s a thing about me—I hate using the word “waiting” in conjunction with singleness. Add in “season,” and it’s barf city for me.

And yet here we are in Advent—the season of waiting. So, we're going to talk about it.

The holidays can be a wild time. But you're not about that life. You're looking for something to help you decompress and sort through the whirlwind of thoughts and feelings so you can enjoy the holidays on your terms. I made a free guided reflection just for you. Get Single for the Holidays at the link in the episode description or at marybsafrit.com/links. Alright, let's dive into today's episode.

It's no secret that many singles feel like outsiders in the church. That's why we've created a Patreon community. For a small monthly fee, you can get access to bonus content, plus a community where your voice and presence are valued. Tiers start at just $5/month. Sign up at patreon.com/unsuitable. I can't wait to see you there!

This week, we will depart from our usual format and dabble in the world of storytelling. Because, let's be real, sometimes escapism is actually a great way to reset when feeling overwhelmed. It's Christmas time, so it's the time of year for Hallmark movies. I am a woman living in the big city who travels to my family's small-town farm every year, and thus I've decided to use those details to create my own riff on this storytelling style. Though I'll be writing in first person and using details from my actual hometown, it's important for you to know that this story and its characters are 100% fictional. Many of my own first-person details are greatly exaggerated and fictionalized as well.

The holidays can be a wild time. But you're not about that life. You're looking for something to help you decompress and sort through the whirlwind of thoughts and feelings so you can enjoy the holidays on your terms. I made a free guided reflection just for you. Get Single for the Holidays at the link in the episode description or at marybsafrit.com/links. Alright, let's dive into today's episode.

It's no secret that many singles feel like outsiders in the church. That's why we've created a Patreon community. For a small monthly fee, you can get access to bonus content, plus a community where your voice and presence are valued. Tiers start at just $5/month. Sign up at patreon.com/unsuitable. I can't wait to see you there!

During today's episode, you won't just hear from me. You'll also hear clips from past conversations with Jason Adam Miller, Joan Watson, and Ekemini Uwan. I've chosen these clips to create a larger arc about how singlehood can give us a fresh perspective on the time leading up to Christmas. These three are theologians, speakers, and writers and their perspectives can help us singles (and non-single folks) appreciate the particular ways God meets us this time of year.

The holidays can be a wild time. But you're not about that life. You're looking for something to help you decompress and sort through the whirlwind of thoughts and feelings so you can enjoy the holidays on your terms. I made a free guided reflection just for you. Get Single for the Holidays at the link in the episode description or at marybsafrit.com/links. Alright, let's dive into today's episode.

It's no secret that many singles feel like outsiders in the church. That's why we've created a Patreon community. For a small monthly fee, you can get access to bonus content, plus a community where your voice and presence are valued. Tiers start at just $5/month. Sign up at patreon.com/unsuitable. I can't wait to see you there!

Today, we'll be covering awkward questions. Thanksgiving and Christmas can mean interacting with humans who don't get us, which leads them to say derpy things. In today's episode, I'll break down my tried and true communication tips for these kinds of scenarios.

Looking for the perfect gift for your favorite single pal--or for a holiday treat for yourself? We just launched a line of cheeky, empowering merch for those walking a non-traditional path. We have beanies, sweatshirts, mugs, and more with phrases like "why are you married?" and designs you'll love to rock. Snag yours at marybsafrit.com/shop. Alright, let's dive into today's episode.

It's no secret that many singles feel like outsiders in the church. That's why we've created a Patreon community. For a small monthly fee, you can get access to bonus content, plus a community where your voice and presence are valued. Tiers start at just $5/month. Sign up at patreon.com/unsuitable. I can't wait to see you there!

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):

https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/cozy-holidays

License code: AMV5F8ANCX5ZH2NB

Welcome to the first episode of our holiday mini-season! You won't be seeing any guest appearances by David Tennent or Katherine Tate, but you will be getting practical tips to help you have a healthy and meaningful holiday season as you are, where you are. First up we are talking about everyone's favorite topic... money! Don't worry. I won't be giving any high-level financial advice about High Yield Savings Accounts. That's not my wheelhouse. We will, however, be covering practical gift ideas for folks on a tight, single-income budget.

If you're like me, budgeting all by your onesie can be tricky. Add in the pressure to get gifts for everybody in this economy and it can be downright overwhelming. Add that to the cost of travel. Yikes. You want to get gifts that are thoughtful and meaningful but also aren't going to put you on ramen for the foreseeable future.

Never fear, pals. Here are five tips for budget-savvy Christmas shopping.

The holidays can be a wild time. But you're not about that life. You're looking for something to help you decompress and sort through the whirlwind of thoughts and feelings so you can enjoy the holidays on your terms. I made a free guided reflection just for you. Get Single for the Holidays at the link in the episode description or at marybsafrit.com/links. Alright, let's dive into today's episode.

It's no secret that many singles feel like outsiders in the church. That's why we've created a Patreon community. For a small monthly fee, you can get access to bonus content, plus a community where your voice and presence are valued. Tiers start at just $5/month. Sign up at patreon.com/unsuitable. I can't wait to see you there!

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):

https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/cozy-holidays

License code: AMV5F8ANCX5ZH2NB

Season 11 officially launches next week.

It’s that time of year. Things are ramping up as we barrel toward the end of 2023. The holidays, with all they entail, are upon us. The family centricity of our culture dials up to 11. Commercials for the perfect gift for that special someone run 24/7.

Regardless of our exact situation, there isn’t a lot of messaging that says, “Isn’t it great to be single right now?” So here I am, your friendly neighborhood singleness podcaster and writer, chiming in to help you appreciate the holiday season on your terms.

This mini-season is all about navigating the holidays as a person who happens to be single. Make sure you're following on your favorite podcast app so you don't miss a thing!

Check out my free download, Single for the Holidays, available at the link in the episode description or at marybsafrit.com/links

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):

https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/cozy-holidays

License code: AMV5F8ANCX5ZH2NB

This snippet is from my fantastic conversation with Beth Collingridge. Beth is a passionate advocate for inclusion within the church community. As the Communications Director at UK-based charity Single Friendly Church, Beth works tirelessly to create welcoming spaces where single individuals of all backgrounds are valued and embraced.

Our merch store is now officially live! Check out our totes, tees, crew neck sweatshirts, and more that feature bold designs and cheeky phrases like, "okay but why are you married?" Shop for yourself or your pals at marybsafrit.com/shop. Alrighty here's this week's mini-episode.

You can follow Single Friendly Church on Instagram @singlefriendlychurch. Check out their resources at singlefriendlychurch.com.

This clip was originally part of the Patreon version of the Season 10 episode called "Finding and Cultivating a Single-Friendly Church" For as little as $5/month, you can get access to the full interview version of each episode, first dibs on new resources, plus a community that gets you. Head over to patreon.com/unsuitable, choose which tier works best for you, then join. Can't wait to see you there!

This mini-episode features a clip from my conversation with Mel New. Mel is the founder and owner of IYKYK Dating, a Christian dating coach, and runs a singles community with over 5000 members across the USA.

Our new merch line is live and we are offering a launch week discount because we are just too excited to get these items in your hands. Browse shirts, hoodies, stickers and more at marybsafrit.com/shop.

You can visit Mel's website www.iykykdating.com and follow her on Instagram @ Iykyk.dating.

This clip was originally part of the Patreon version of the Season 10 episode called "Dating 101 for Single Christians." For as little as $5/month, you can get access to the full interview version of each episode, first dibs on new resources, plus a community that gets you. Head over to patreon.com/unsuitable, choose which tier works best for you, then join. Can't wait to see you there!

Today's mini-episode features a clip from my conversation with Anna Broadway. Anna has written for The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, TheAtlantic.com, Christianity Today and other publications. She is the author of the forthcoming book Solo Planet: How Singles Help the Church Recover Our calling, due out from NavPress.

In case you missed it, we're launching a line of cheeky merch October 31. Stay in the know by getting on the email list at marybsafrit.com/links. If you join before October 27, you'll be part of the crew that gets access to our soft launch. Get on the list at marybsafrit.com/links.You can read more of Anna's work at annabroadway.com.

This clip was originally part of the Patreon version of the Season 10 episode called "Milestones Singles Can (and Should) Celebrate." For as little as $5/month, you can get access to the full interview version of each episode, first dibs on new resources, plus a community that gets you. Head over to patreon.com/unsuitable, choose which tier works best for you, then join. Can't wait to see you there!

First up we have a snippet from my conversation with Vernique Esther. Vernique Esther is an Atlanta-based therapist and coach who specializes in Relational Trauma and Healthy Relationships. She is Author of When Seasons Change: A Divorce Recovery Interactive Devotional, Speaker, and founder of Authentically Wed— a faith-based community for all relationship statuses. This clip was originally part of the Patreon version of the Season 10 episode called "Authenticity and Emotional Health in Relationships."

For as little as $5/month, you can get access to the full interview version of each episode, first dibs on new resources, plus a community that gets you. Head over to patreon.com/unsuitable, choose which tier works best for you, and then join. Can't wait to see you there!

In case you missed it, we're launching a line of cheeky merch on October 31. Stay in the know by getting on the email list at marybsafrit.com/links. If you join before October 27, you'll be part of the crew that gets access to our soft launch. Get on the list at marybsafrit.com/links. You can follow Vernique on all social media @verniqueesther, and check out her other offerings at verniqueesther.com

In this episode, Lyvonee and I talk about

The link between body positivity and sex positivity—and the path towards both
The power of knowing yourself and loving yourself
The orgasm gap
And reinterpreting scripture—aka Ruth, Tamar, and the Song of Solomon

Lyvonne Briggs, MDiv, ThM, an Emmy Award winner, is a body- and sex-positive womanist preacher and speaker. She is the host of Sensual Faith Podcast and the author of Sensual Faith: The Art of Coming Home to Your Body (Convergent/Penguin Random House out March '23). She is the co-host of Sanctified, a faith-based, Spotify-exclusive podcast on Jemele Hill’s Unbothered Network. A spiritual life coach and TEDx speaker, she has been featured in Essence, Cosmopolitan, Rolling Stone, and The Washington Post, and Sojourners named her one of "11 Women Shaping the Church.” Briggs is a graduate of The Lawrenceville School, Seton Hall University, Yale Divinity School, and Columbia Theological Seminary. A New York City native, she is currently based in New Orleans, LA.

You can follow Lyvonne across platforms: @LyvonneBriggs. Her podcast, Sensual Faith, is available wherever you listen. You can buy her book, Sensual Faith, wherever you buy books and go ahead and rate and review! All of her cashapp, venmo, etc. info are all in the episode description and we would love you to help us support Lyvonne.

Ways to support Lyvonne, from Lyvonne: Invite me to your organization to come speak, teach, or preach!

Order your copy of “Sensual Faith!” visit

https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/706280/sensual-faith-by-lyvonne-briggs/

Leave a comment and 5-star review on Amazon!

For Sensual Faith Podcast supplemental materials, visit patreon.com/lyvonnebriggs (aka Sensual Faith Academy) and join the tier that’s right for you! The Sensual Faith tier supports the podcast and the Lavish Love tier supports the podcast and grants you access to bonus content (like book studies, audioessays, tarot/oracle card readings, behind the scenes footage, exclusive sneak peeks, and more!).

Other ways to support Lyvonne and her work:

Cash App: $PastorBae

Venmo: @LyvonneBriggs

Zelle: Lyvonne.Briggs@gmail.com

The Tiny Brand experience is a done-for-you collaboration, a silver platter of fonts, colors, and design elements tailored for you and your business delivered within a quick turnaround of just 48 hours. If beautiful branding done by someone who just gets you is your vibe, you need to work with Karla a

The LYLAS Podcast
If you know what LYLAS stands for, then this podcast is for you! Two besties since...
Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Buzzsprout - Let's launch your podcast!
Get started for FREE!

Liquid IV
Use my special link https://zen.ai/unsuitablewithmarybsafrit2 to save 20% off anything you order.

Tiny Brand
The Tiny Brand Experience is a done-for-you brand collaboration designed just for your business.

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

In this episode, Carole and I discuss

The link between grief and hospitality
The secret behind our 3 am come to Jesus moments
The spiritual dimensions of food
Grief, food, and other distractions: how to navigate healthy coping mechanisms
Social reentry through food: connecting with others in our grief
Who our “stretcher people” are—and how to find them

A divorce survivor and late-in-life thriver, Carole welcomed a new adventure as an "Accidental Author" with her debut book, "I Don't Know Who I Am Anymore."

Exploring the intersection of grief and faith, Carole wonders aloud about whether this "God-Man, Jesus," remains relevant when loss, disappointment and heartache arrive unannounced. After a long list of careers (including owning a "rose-covered cottage cooking school," ) Carole enjoys writing into retirement with the adulations of nine grandchildren who still think she's really cool. She would heartily request that you not inform them otherwise.

You can follow Carole on Instagram @caroleholiday. Get in touch with her by visiting her website,

caroleholiday.com. Her book, I Don't Know Who I Am Anymore, is available wherever you buy books.

The Tiny Brand experience is a done-for-you collaboration, a silver platter of fonts, colors, and design elements tailored for you and your business delivered within a quick turnaround of just 48 hours. If beautiful branding done by someone who just gets you is your vibe, you need to work with Karla at The Inspired Foundry / get a Tiny Brand. Use INSPIREDMARYB to get $50 off your Tiny Brand! Head to www.yourtinybrand.com for all the details.

Liquid I.V. is the category-winning hydration brand fueling your well-being, and their Hydration Multiplier is the one product you’re missing in your daily routine. Get 20% off when you go to LIQUID IV DOT COM and use code UNSUITABLE at checkout. That’s 20% off ANYTHING you order when you shop better hydration today using promo code UNSUITABLE at LIQUID IV DOT COM. Alright, now let's dive into today's episode!

This episode is jammed packed; unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

The LYLAS Podcast
If you know what LYLAS stands for, then this podcast is for you! Two besties since...
Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Liquid IV
Use my special link https://zen.ai/unsuitablewithmarybsafrit2 to save 20% off anything you order.

Tiny Brand
The Tiny Brand Experience is a done-for-you brand collaboration designed just for your business.

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

In this episode, you'll hear Katie and I talk about

The God moment / Carrie Bradshaw moment that turned Katie towards her calling
How to invest in and bet on yourself—even on a budget (read: student loans!)
All things creative entrepreneurship: how to take your ideas seriously, create a plan, and build sustainably
And so much more!

Katie Ellis is the Ceramicist & Founder of Dear Gloria. Katie has worked in ceramics for the last 20 years in various capacities from teaching, to working for other artists, to creating her own work. In 2020, with a renewed appreciation for creating a sense of home and permanence in New York City during the pandemic, she started Dear Gloria, a business centered on all things handmade for the home made by NYC artists. A natural connector and curator, Dear Gloria brings together her love for making functional dishes for the home and her natural affinity for connecting people to each other and artists to new audiences.

Katie holds a B.A. in Art, Business, and Community Development from Covenant College on Lookout Mountain, Georgia, and an M.S. in Arts and Cultural Management from Pratt Institute in New York City.

You can follow @deargloria.home on Instagram for updates on markets, events, and the upcoming launch of their online shop in November.

Podcasting is a great way to connect with your audience and get your message out to the world. But it can be overwhelming to start and sustain one. I've been running this podcast for the past 5 years, and I’m here to help you strategically launch your podcast and create a sustainable system that works for you. Sign up for your free thirty-minute intro call by filling out the interest form at marybsafrit.com/coaching. Alright, let's get to today's episode.

If you're ready to look totally hot online -- plus, like, show up as the expert you are and all that -- I challenge you to find faster, more affordable, custom branding strategically designed by a professional. Stand out with branding that actually represents the magic of what you do and get a Tiny Brand! We at Unsuitable used Karla for our upcoming rebrand in September and I have to tell you she nailed it. Not only was she super fun to work with, we were over the moon with how perfectly she captured our brand. It feels exactly like us and we can't wait to share it with you.

The Tiny Brand experience is a done-for-you collaboration, a silver platter of fonts, colors, and design elements tailored for you and your business delivered within a quick turnaround of just 48 hours. If beautiful branding done by someone who just gets you is your vibe, you need to work with Karla at The Inspired Foundry / get a Tiny Brand. Use INSPIREDMARYB to get $50 off your Tiny Brand! Head to www.yourtinybrand.com for all the details.

The LYLAS Podcast
If you know what LYLAS stands for, then this podcast is for you! Two besties since...
Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Liquid IV
Use my special link https://zen.ai/unsuitablewithmarybsafrit2 to save 20% off anything you order.

Tiny Brand
The Tiny Brand Experience is a done-for-you brand collaboration designed just for your business.

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

In this episode, you'll hear Kaitlyn and I talk about:

How spiritual formation impacts political engagement—and why this is gets more human, accessible, and impactful on the local level.
Why self-sufficiency is a myth--for individuals and families and all people.
The ways collective engagement beats isolation, even within family units.
And why reciprocity is crucial within church communities, especially across diverse backgrounds and life stages.
Before we dive in, give me 15 seconds to tell you about how you can get your hands on some fun podcast bonuses.

Kaitlyn Schiess is a writer, speaker, and theologian. She is the author of The Liturgy of Politics: Spiritual Formation for the Sake of Our Neighbor and is a regular cohost on the Holy Post podcast. Her writing has appeared in the New York Times, Christianity Today, Christ and Pop Culture, Relevant, and Sojourners. She has a Masters of Theology from Dallas Theological Seminare and is currently a doctoral student in political theology at Duke Divinity School. She lives in Durham, North Carolina.

You can follow Kaitlyn on Instagram and Twitter @kaitlynschiess. Snag your copy of her book, The Ballot and The Bible, wherever you buy books--and make sure to rate and review!

This episode is jammed packed; unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

Liquid I.V. is the category-winning hydration brand fueling your well-being, and their Hydration Multiplier is the one product you’re missing in your daily routine. I love using Liquid I.V. regularly and when feeling extra parched, brain foggy, or under the weather. It's seriously a life saver when it comes to recovery. I just mix a stick of it into some water, my favorite flavor is Lemon Lime, by the way, and I feel more refreshed and rejuvenated. One stick of Liquid I.V. in 16 ounces of water hydrates you 2x faster and more efficiently than water alone. Get 20% off when you go to LIQUID IV DOT COM and use code UNSUITABLE at checkout. That’s 20% off ANYTHING you order when you shop better hydration today using promo code UNSUITABLE at LIQUID IV DOT COM.

Podcasting is a great way to connect with your audience and get your message out to the world. But it can be overwhelming to start and sustain one. I've been running this podcast for the past 5 years, and I’m here to help you strategically launch your podcast and create a sustainable system that works for you. Sign up for your free thirty-minute intro call by filling out the interest form at marybsafrit.com/coaching.

Liquid IV
Use my special link https://zen.ai/unsuitablewithmarybsafrit2 to save 20% off anything you order.

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Support the show

In this episode, Beth and I talk about:

Identifying the pain points of exclusion—and how to get serious about including and being led by singles in the church.
Barriers to single leadership—unpacking the biases, assumptions, and misunderstandings about singles.
The lonely church: why we need to deliberately create an atmosphere of kindness, connecting people, saying hello and then some.

Beth is a passionate advocate for inclusion within the church community. As the Communications Director at UK-based charity Single Friendly Church, Beth works tirelessly to create welcoming spaces where single individuals of all backgrounds are valued and embraced. With a heart that beats for unity, she’s dedicated to breaking barriers and ensuring every church becomes a place of belonging.

You can follow Single Friendly Church on Instagram @singlefriendlychurch. Check out their resources at singlefriendlychurch.com.

"God told me we should go out." This is one of the many sayings complicating Christian Dating Culture. That's why Landen Swain wrote the best-seller Detox Christian Dating, which gets down into the nitty-gritty of what actually makes dating as a Christian complicated and provides insight on how to make Christian Dating Culture healthier. Order Detox Christian Dating on Amazon today.

Liquid I.V. is the category-winning hydration brand fueling your well-being, and their Hydration Multiplier is the one product you’re missing in your daily routine. I love using Liquid I.V. regularly and when feeling extra parched, brain foggy, or under the weather. It's seriously a lifesaver when it comes to recovery. I just mix a stick of it into some water, My favorite flavor is Lemon Lime, by the way, and I feel more refreshed and rejuvenated. One stick of Liquid I.V. in 16 ounces of water hydrates you 2x faster and more efficiently than water alone. Get 20% off when you go to LIQUIDIV.com and use code UNSUITABLE at checkout. That’s 20% off ANYTHING you order when you shop for better hydration today using promo code UNSUITABLE at LIQUIDIV.com.

This episode is jam-packed; unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

Liquid IV
Use my special link https://zen.ai/unsuitablewithmarybsafrit2 to save 20% off anything you order.

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Support the show

In today's episode, you'll hear Anna and I talk about:

Expanding coming-of-age rituals beyond graduation and marriage.
Marking a moment and remembering God's faithfulness.
How to celebrate the moments that might feel small.
And cultivating your own practice of celebrating.

Anna has written for The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, TheAtlantic.com, Christianity Today and other publications. She is the author of the forthcoming book Solo Planet: How Singles Help the Church Recover Our calling, due out from NavPress. She's also written Sexless in the City: A Memoir of Reluctant Chastity and contributed to the books Venus and Virtue, Disquiet Time, Talking Taboo, and Faith at the Edge. She holds an MA in religious studies from Arizona State University.

You can read more of Anna's work at annabroadway.com. Add Solo Planet to your "To Read" list on Goodreads. You can follow Anna's author page on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/anna.broadway

Podcasting is a great way to connect with your audience and get your message out to the world. But it can be overwhelming to start and sustain one. I've been running this podcast for the past 5 years, and I’m here to help you strategically launch your podcast and create a sustainable system that works for you. Sign up for your free thirty-minute intro call by filling out the interest form at marybsafrit.com/coaching. Alright, let's get to today's episode.

The Tiny Brand experience is a done-for-you collaboration, a silver platter of fonts, colors, and design elements tailored for you and your business delivered within a quick turnaround of just 48 hours. If beautiful branding done by someone who just gets you is your vibe, you need to work with Karla at The Inspired Foundry / get a Tiny Brand. Use INSPIREDMARYB to get $50 off your Tiny Brand! Head to www.yourtinybrand.com for all the details.

"God told me we should go out." This is one of the many sayings complicating Christian Dating Culture. That's why Landen Swain wrote the best-seller Detox Christian Dating, which gets down into the nitty-gritty of what actually makes dating as a Christian complicated and provides insight on how to make Christian Dating Culture healthier. Order Detox Christian Dating on Amazon today.

Ashley T Lee Podcast
Ashley T. Lee Podcast will cover many life issues such as overcoming stress, anxiety...
Listen on: Apple Podcasts

Tiny Brand
The Tiny Brand Experience is a done-for-you brand collaboration designed just for your business.

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Support the show

In this episode, you'll hear Moriah talk about

The importance of finding spaces where you don't need to explain your identity to people
Why everyone should be doing identity development work
The ‘second puberty’ of coming out as an adult
How to find your people within the queer community
All things self compassion, grace, and time when it comes to coming out later in life

Moriah is a therapist-in-training who specializes in working with the LGBTQIA+ community, especially in the areas of trauma, identity development, and identity integration. She utilizes a relational psychodynamic approach to therapy, along with feminist psychology and LGBTQIA+ affirming psychology. She is a psych assistant at Woven Trauma Therapy.

You can follow Moriah on Instagram @mconantpsychology.

If you're ready to look totally hot online -- plus, like, show up as the expert you are and all that -- I challenge you to find faster, more affordable, custom branding strategically designed by a professional. Stand out with branding that actually represents the magic of what you do and get a Tiny Brand! We at Unsuitable used Karla for our upcoming rebrand in September and I have to tell you she nailed it. Not only was she super fun to work with, we were over the moon with how perfectly she captured our brand. It feels exactly like us and we can't wait to share it with you.

The Tiny Brand experience is a done-for-you collaboration, a silver platter of fonts, colors, and design elements tailored for you and your business delivered within a quick turnaround of just 48 hours. If beautiful branding done by someone who just gets you is your vibe, you need to work with Karla at The Inspired Foundry / get a Tiny Brand. Use INSPIREDMARYB to get $50 off your Tiny Brand! Head to www.yourtinybrand.com for all the details.

Affiliate link: https://marybsafrit--theinspiredfoundry.thrivecart.com/your-tiny-brand-and-logos/

Podcasting is a great way to connect with your audience and get your message out to the world. But it can be overwhelming to start and sustain one. I've been running this podcast for the past 5 years, and I’m here to help you strategically launch your podcast and create a sustainable system that works for you. Sign up for your free thirty-minute intro call by filling out the interest form at marybsafrit.com/coaching. Alright, let's get to today's episode.

Liquid I.V. is the category-winning hydration brand fueling your well-being, and their Hydration Multiplier is the one product you’re missing in your daily routine. Get 20% off when you go to LIQUID IV DOT COM and use code UNSUITABLE at checkout. That’s 20% off ANYTHING you order when you shop better hydration today using promo code UNSUITABLE at LIQUID IV DOT COM. Alright, now let's dive into today's episode!

Liquid IV
Use my special link https://zen.ai/unsuitablewithmarybsafrit2 to save 20% off anything you order.

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Support the show

In this episode, you'll hear Mel and I discuss

How to cultivate a growth mindset in dating
The ingredients of a fun mixer for single Christians
The secrets for maintaining hopefulness in dating
And how to use dating apps (yep, we think Christians should use them).

Mel is the founder and owner of IYKYK Dating, a Christian dating coach, and runs a singles community with over 5000 members across the USA. Her own dating struggles led her to develop a strong understanding of the dynamics of healthy dating relationships, including the art of attraction, the importance of embracing femininity, setting boundaries, and allowing men to take the lead. Mel runs Online Dating Workshops for women who feel anxious in dating and relationships.

You can visit Mel's website www.iykykdating.com and follow her on Instagram @ Iykyk.dating. Mel's offering listeners 50% off her upcoming dating workshop by following the link in the episode description and using code MARYB. You can also find the link to join Mel's free Facebook Group for single Christians in the episode description.

Ready to shop better hydration, use my special link https://zen.ai/unsuitablewithmarybsafrit2 to save 20% off anything you order.)

This episode is jammed packed; unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

Liquid IV
Use my special link https://zen.ai/unsuitablewithmarybsafrit2 to save 20% off anything you order.

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Support the show

In today's episode, you'll hear Vernique and I talk about

The hard, beautiful work of learning to show up authentically
Letting go of "ideal" and/or fake versions of ourselves
Why emotions are indicators, not dictators
How our relationships are impacted by emotional health

Vernique is an Atlanta-based therapist and coach who specializes in Relational Trauma and Healthy Relationships. She is the Author of When Seasons Change: A Divorce Recovery Interactive Devotional, Speaker, and founder of Authentically Wed— a faith-based community for all relationship statuses

Vernique believes the quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life, and uses her workshops, courses, and community programs such as Journal Club, to help people become healed and whole individuals that can create healthy and fulfilling relationships. She especially enjoys partnering with High-achieving women who have trouble managing their various responsibilities, causing anxiety in their lives.

She also works as a Corporate Well-being Consultant in assisting employees and leaders in making the workplace more emotionally and mentally safe.

You can follow Vernique on all social media @verniqueesther, and check out her other offerings at verniqueesther.com

Ready to shop better hydration, use my special link https://zen.ai/unsuitablewithmarybsafrit2 to save 20% off anything you order.)

/This episode is jammed packed; unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community Get the full episode and be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

The Single Christian's Church Survival Guide isn’t a book about how to get un-single. It's about how to navigate a culture obsessed with marriage as a human who is not married. Each chapter breaks down a common scenario, why it’s weird, and contextual options on how to respond. If you’re done accepting the same tired interactions that leave you discouraged and disempowered, head to Amazon and get your copy of The Single Christian's Church Survival Guide now!

Support the show

In today's episode, you'll hear Jason and I talk about

Strange blessings for life's impossible moments
What the Beatitudes have to say to single folks
The power of finding joy in our right-now lives
And finding belonging when the church doesn't know what to do with you.

Jason is the founder and lead pastor of South Bend City Church, an eclectic Christian community known for its thoughtful teaching, inclusive vision, and commitment to its city context. An advocate for artists and peacemakers, his work beyond South Bend focuses on cultural headwaters and conflict zones, where he serves an international constituency of leaders. He holds a master’s degree in theology from the University of Notre Dame. He is the author of When the World Breaks: The Surprising Hope and Subversive Promises in the Teachings of Jesus.

You can follow Jason on Instagram @jasonadammiller and check out more of his work at jasonadammiller.com. When the World Breaks, is available wherever you buy books.

Singles find themselves in a lot of awkward situations at church. When you take The Single Christian Derptitude test, choose your knee-jerk reaction to each prompt and learn your social superpower. Think of it like an aptitude test... for all the weird things people say to singles at church. Take this fun, free quiz at marybsafrit.com.

Ready to shop better hydration, use my special link https://zen.ai/unsuitablewithmarybsafrit2 to save 20% off anything you order.)

This episode is jammed packed; unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

My Dog Gogoro
A podcast diary of me and my dog Gogoro, a perfectly spoiled Cavalier King Charles Spaniel
Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Support the show

In this episode, you'll hear Nate and I talk about

How to get the most out of therapy
What happens when we use therapy as a dress rehearsal for our life
How to practice addressing conflict with your therapist
The key ingredients for therapy and growth

Nathaniel is a licensed marriage and family therapist, group facilitator, writer & wellness advocate based in New York City. He has five years of combined clinical training and experience working with individuals, couples and families in child welfare, juvenile justice and private practice settings. As the owner of Intentions for Wellness Marriage & Family Therapy PLLC, Nathaniel helps his clients cultivate emotional, relational and spiritual wellbeing rooted in and enriched by faith in Jesus Christ.

You can follow Nate on Instagram @_natecultivates and check out the Tristate Abstinence Crew on Instagram @tac_lgw. If you're interested in working with Nate, you can search for him on zencare.co

Ready to shop better hydration, use my special link https://zen.ai/unsuitablewithmarybsafrit2 to save 20% off anything you order.)

This episode is jammed packed; unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

Support the show

In today's episode, Audre and I are talking about

Inviting vulnerability in a safe way in singleness.
How to combat cultural expectations of instant gratification when it comes to our spiritual interior
How to hold space for spiritual exploration
And questions to ask yourself when exploring a feeling, experience, or something new.

Audre is a trauma-informed certified spiritual director. She has been a soul companion for over 20 years. Her certification is through the Companioning Center. Audre holds a BA of Religion with an emphasis in Biblical and Theological Studies. She is a HopeWriter and a Sayge Link Member. She is a podcaster on The Spacious and the Sacred*, with fellow spiritual directors Irene Dunlop, Heather Fignar and Andi Chatburn.

Audre specializes in working with people who are isolated, and lonely from the effects of shame and trauma. She holds space for individuals and groups who are discovering and questioning their inner goodness. Audre embraces all communities including those that are neurodiverse, LGBTQ+, or spiritually diverse as they seek to find wholeness and freedom.

You can join one of Audre's groups or sign up for spiritual direction at saturatedgrace.com. She's on facebook @audrerickard1 and Instagram @audrerickard

Singles find themselves in a lot of awkward situations at church. When you take The Single Christian Derptitude test, choose your knee-jerk reaction to each prompt and learn your social superpower. Think of it like an aptitude test... for all the weird things people say to singles at church. Take this fun, free quiz at marybsafrit.com.

Ready to shop better hydration, use my special link https://zen.ai/unsuitablewithmarybsafrit2 to save 20% off anything you order.)

This episode is jammed packed; unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

GOD ON MY MIND
Phil Ridden shows how the things we see and hear and experience every day can help...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Support the show

In today's episode, we're getting into it on all things solo travel with Rachael K. Rachael is a teacher, and Christian lifestyle blogger and content creator. She is currently based in Kenya with the organization Africa Inland Mission. Outside of teaching, she enjoys hosting friends and students at her home, reading, working out, and playing with puppies.

Today you'll hear Rachael and I talk about

Finding creative freedom and empowerment through solo travel
How to budget and prioritize for the kind of travel you want
A masterclass on decision-making when it comes to travel
And how to be mindful about safety, culture, and respect when traveling.

You can follow Rachael on Instagram @lifewithrach_k and be sure to check out her blog, lifewithrk.com

You can also check out Rachael's Blog on solo travel here

Singles find themselves in a lot of awkward situations at church. When you take The Single Christian Derptitude test, choose your knee-jerk reaction to each prompt and learn your social superpower. Think of it like an aptitude test... for all the weird things people say to singles at church. Take this fun, free quiz at marybsafrit.com.

This episode is jammed packed; unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

Have you ever wanted to start your own podcast? Podcasting is a great way to expand your reach online. Buzzsprout makes it easy to get started. If you follow the link in the show notes, you can get a $20 Amazon gift card if you sign up for a paid plan, and help support the show.

Support the show

Season 10 is here!

Next week, aka July 11, we are officially launching season 10 of the Unsuitable podcast! We are stoked to be in the double digits and even more stoked to share what we've been cooking up for ya.

For our tenth season, we've decided to get super practical. In each episode, we'll interview an expert who happens to be single and Christian about one nitty gritty facet of single life. To name just a few, you'll hear about solo traveling, spiritual direction, getting the most out of therapy, and more.

You can follow the podcast on Instagram at unsuitablepodcast and you can follow me on Instagram and Tiktok at maryb.safrit to stay up to date on all things Unsuitable!

Support the show

In this episode, you'll hear us talk about:

how we singles tend to overexert ourselves to prove our value to the church
the social privilege of marriage and how not having it empowers us to rely on the sufficiency of the gospel
how to really become part of each other's lives
and a bonus Q & A segment!

Today, you're getting a special between-the-seasons treat. A few weeks back, our producer Ashley and I sat down in my apartment with a small crew and recorded our first-ever live episode. Ashley's edited that audio, and we are sharing it with you today!

You can follow me on Instagram and TikTok @ maryb.safrit, and follow the podcast on Instagram @unsuiablepodcast so you don't miss any updates and highlights.

If you love our episodes, did you know you can get ad-free extended cuts of every episode? For the live show, this means Patreon listeners get THE FULL EXPERIENCE! Paid listeners also get to hear a sneak peak about the next season, and how we're thinking about creating community through a podcast. Join us over at patreon.com/unsuitable for as little as $5/month

Support the show

Welcome to a special between-the-seasons episode of Unsuitable. Y'all loved Jason's episode from Season 8 so much we are releasing the extended cut for ya!

In this episode, Jason and I cover:

navigating relational boundaries as a single pastor
what we miss when we require pastors to be married
how our assumptions create barriers in our friendships
and why equating marriage with righteousness doesn't work

Jason Adam Miller is the founder and lead pastor of South Bend City Church, an eclectic Christian community known for its thoughtful teaching, inclusive vision, and commitment to its city context. An advocate for artists and peacemakers, his work beyond South Bend focuses on cultural headwaters and conflict zones, where he serves an international constituency of leaders. He holds a master’s degree in theology from the University of Notre Dame.

You can follow Jason on Instagram @jasonadammiller, or head to his website jasonadammiller.com. If you want to hear more from South Bend City Church, check out their podcast wherever you listen.

Singles find themselves in a lot of awkward situations at church. When you take The Single Christian Derptitude test, choose your knee-jerk reaction to each prompt and learn your social superpower. Think of it like an aptitude test... for all the weird things people say to singles at church. Take this fun, free quiz at marybsafrit.com.

Support the show

We've reached the end of our ninth season, which focused on purity culture, sexuality, and singleness. To wrap up this season, I have a brief message for you. We know that this season's subject matter was heavy. Maybe some episodes interested you, but you weren't ready to dive into them. Maybe you listened religiously. Maybe the one-a-week pace was too much for you. However this season met you, our goal was to produce quality conversations with interesting people from a broad range of theology and life experience. We'd love to hear what you thought of this season, and the easiest way to do that and help support the show at the same time is to rate and review on your favorite podcast app.

We hope you loved this season's guests as much as we do. One of my favorite things about hosting this podcast is getting to introduce you to single Christians I think the world of. Fangirling them to you is simply the best. These conversations are designed to broaden the conversation on singleness. We also want them to help expand our collective imagination of what is possible for the single life. When it comes to the murky path of deconstructing purity culture and moving into a better vision of what it might look like to embrace our sexuality as single Christians, we think this season's guests make for excellent companions.

The best way to make sure you don't miss anything, like the surprises we have lined up for between the seasons, is to subscribe to my email list, which you can do at marybsafrit.com/link, and follow us on the 'gram.

You can follow me on Instagram and TikTok @ maryb.safrit, and follow the podcast on Instagram @unsuitablepodcast so you don't miss any updates and highlights.

Support the show

In today's episode, David and I cover a LOT of ground. You'll hear us discuss:

the patterns of toxicity every ideology is prone to
why we need the passionate side of love
why singles (esp. gay celibates) get so much push back
why church leaders need to come to terms with the social
and cultural privilege they have because of marriage, and literally so much more

David Bennett is originally from Sydney, Australia and is an Oxford doctoral student, scholar, and theologian. David is also the author of the book A War of Loves where he tell his story of being a gay activist and his story of wrestling to come to faith in Jesus in a dramatic way.

You can follow David on Instagram and Twitter @davidacbennett. Check out more of his work at davidacbennett.com. His Book, A War of Loves, is available wherever books are sold.

Singles find themselves in a lot of awkward situations at church. When you take The Single Christian Derptitude test, choose your knee-jerk reaction to each prompt and learn your social superpower. Think of it like an aptitude test... for all the weird things people say to singles at church. Take this fun, free quiz at marybsafrit.com.

This episode is jammed packed; unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

There are more than a few blogs on the interwebs giving tips on how singles can survive weddings. If you’re like me, you don’t just want someone to tell you what to do. You want something personalized and nuanced. That’s why I’ve created My Friend’s Wedding: A pre-wedding guided reflection for single Christians.

This free download empowers you to prayerfully wade through your feelings and brainstorm some strategies for how you’d like to respond to them. Get your free copy at marybsafrit.com/links.

Support the show

In today's episode, you're going to hear Zach and I talk about:

learning the language of our sexuality
worshipping and celebrating God in spirit and in truth
exploring the bravery of vulnerability
and the beauty of the Black queer community.

Zachary Gillis, born and raised in Northwest Indiana in the cities of Gary, Hammond, and Merrillville, has been proud to call South Bend home since 2009. After graduating from Bethel University (IN), formerly Bethel College, Zach diligently served in Bethel’s Offices of Student Development and Diversity & Inclusion while garnering his master’s degree in Intercultural Leadership from Goshen College in Goshen, IN. Zach joined the South Bend City Church Team in September 2018 and is so grateful to be at a place where he can live out his passions exactly as who God made him to be. In addition to being on the pastoral staff at SBCC in Pastoral Care and Worship & Arts, Zach is also the Choir Director at La Lumiere School in LaPorte, IN and the proud fur dad of two adorable Chihuahuas, Nemo and Topher.

You can follow Zach on Instagram and Twitter @mistagillis.

This episode is jammed packed; unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

There are more than a few blogs on the interwebs giving tips on how singles can survive weddings. If you’re like me, you don’t just want someone to tell you what to do. You want something personalized and nuanced. That’s why I’ve created My Friend’s Wedding: A pre-wedding guided reflection for single Christians.

This free download empowers you to prayerfully wade through your feelings and brainstorm some strategies for how you’d like to respond to them. Get your free copy at marybsafrit.com/links.

Support the show

In today's episode, you'll hear Meg and I talk about:

why church folks need to let go of our need to appear righteous
refocusing how we use our privilege
what aspiring allies to the LGBTQ+ community need to know when starting that journey
how to not pass on false gospels and despair
and the barriers queer people face when trying to stay with Jesus

Meg Baatz is the co-founder of Kaleidoscope, a New York–based organization helping provide LGBTQ+ people with tangible expressions of Jesus. Meg is a bridge-builder and ministry educator whose desire is to see people grow personally and engage locally in diverse communities – particularly at the intersection of sexuality, gender, and spiritual life with Jesus. Prior to launching Kaleidoscope, Meg spent 6 years educating ministry leaders on enhancing LGBTQ+ inclusion and care. Meg holds a degree in Social Work from Colorado State University.

You can follow Kaleidoscope on Instagram and TikTok @kaleidoscope.usa. Check out the all the links to the amazing resources Meg talked about and that coupon code. You can follow Meg on Instagram @megbaatz/@kaleidomeg

This episode is jammed packed and unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

We Don't Want The Bouquet is a guide designed to help single Christians survive wedding season. It’s short. It’s snappy. And most importantly, it means you don’t have to walk through all this alone.

If you’re a single Christian tired of plodding through wedding prep all by your onesie, this guide is for you. Head to marybsafrit.com/shop and get your copy today.

This is for any ministry leaders and/or their colleagues or spouses. For this podcast’s listeners, we’ll offer $30 off coupon UNSUITABLE to save on your registration. https://kaleidoscopeusa.regfox.com/safe-pastor-i

Support the show

In today's episode, Sam and I discuss:

the unique kind of intimacy that's only possible in friendship
what the Bible can teach us about affection in friendships (hint: it’s WAY MORE than you think)
why purity culture is the antithesis of the gospel
and learning healthy dynamics in our spiritual families

Sam Allberry is a pastor based at Immanuel Nashville, as well as the author of several books. He is a Fellow at the Keller Center for Cultural Apologetics and a Canon Theologian for the Anglican Church in North America.

You can follow Sam on Instagram and Twitter @samallberry. His books The 7 Myths About Singleness and Is God Anti-Gay? are available wherever you buy books.

Thank you to Kayla and Lisa who recently joined our community. Y'all rock so hard, and we love having you as part of our community. If you're interested in bonuses such as early access to our ad-free, full interviews, you, too, can join our Patreon for as little as $5/month. Head to patreon.com/unsuitable. We can't wait to see you there!

Have you ever wanted to start your own podcast? Podcasting is a great way to expand your reach online. Buzzsprout makes it easy to get started. If you follow the link in the show notes, you can get a $20 Amazon gift card if you sign up for a paid plan, and help support the show.

We Don't Want The Bouquet is a guide designed to help single Christians survive wedding season. It’s short. It’s snappy. And most importantly, it means you don’t have to walk through all this alone.

If you’re a single Christian tired of plodding through wedding prep all by your onesie, this guide is for you. Head to marybsafrit.com/shop and get your copy today.

Support the show

In today's episode, Christine and I talk about:

the difference between pursuing good and avoiding bad
why consent is the floor, not the bar, when it comes to good sex
our struggle to use moral language to describe sex
and how social inequities can make consent complicated

Christine Emba is the author of Rethinking Sex: A Provocation, as well asan opinion columnist and editor at The Washington Post where she writes about ideas and society. Before joining the Post in 2015, Christine was the Hilton Kramer Fellow in Criticism at the New Criterion and a deputy editor at the Economist Intelligence Unit, focusing on technology and innovation.

You can follow Christine on Twitter and Instagram @christineemba. Sign up for her email list at christineemba.substack.com. You can read her writing in The Washington Post. Rethinking Sex is available wherever you buy books.

We Don't Want The Bouquet is a guide designed to help single Christians survive wedding season. It’s loaded with tips and reflective questions that will walk you through things— before, during, and after. It’s short. It’s snappy. And most importantly, it means you don’t have to walk through all this alone.If you’re a single Christian tired of plodding through wedding prep all by your onesie, this guide is for you. We Don't Want The Bouquet releases on Amazon this week! Snag your copy starting April 12.

There are more than a few blogs on the interwebs giving tips on how singles can survive weddings. If you’re like me, you don’t just want someone to tell you what to do. You want something personalized and nuanced. That’s why I’ve created My Friend’s Wedding: A pre-wedding guided reflection for single Christians.

This free download empowers you to prayerfully wade through your feelings and brainstorm some strategies for how you’d like to respond to them. Get your free copy at marybsafrit.com/links.

Have you ever wanted to start your own podcast? Podcasting is a great way to expand your reach online. Buzzsprout makes it easy to get started. If you follow the link in the show notes, you can get a $20 Amazon gift card if you sign up for a paid plan, and help support the show.

Support the show

In this episode, Kat talks about:

what led her to question the sexual script she'd learned in purity culture
how she moved from shame and fear into freedom
the difference between the desire for sex and sexual desire
and what to do with our sexual desire as people who are single

Kat Harris is the host of The Refined Collective Podcast, author of Sexless in the City, and Founder of the online platform The Refined Woman. She has also been a full-time photographer for over a decade with her work featured in: The New York Times, WWD, Vanity Fair, GQ, Forbes, People, Who What Wear, US Weekly, Glamour UK and more.

We recorded this episode back in 2021, but the content is truly evergreen.

You can follow Kat on Instagram @therefinedwoman and @therefinedcollective. Check out her podcast, The Refined Collective, wherever you listen. Sexless in the City is available wherever you buy books. And you can check out her many resources on her website, therefinedwoman.com.

Weddings can bring up all sorts of feelings for us single folks. If you have a friend getting married soon, head to marybsafrit.com and get your free copy of "My Friend's Wedding: A pre-wedding guided reflection for single Christians.

Support the show

In today's episode, you'll hear Amber and I talk:

about why we need to reckon with our idolatry of marriage
how we can build community and family as singles
why kids and parents need a comprehensive understanding of sexual stewardship beyond the birds and the bees talk many of us received
and ways single parents can ask for help with hard conversations

Amber is the Vice President of Impact and Parent Resources at Equip, the premier consulting and training solution for churches seeking to become places where LGBT+ Christians thrive for a lifetime according to a historic Christian sexual ethic. She teaches parents how to have compassionate, theologically accurate, and age-appropriate conversations about sexual stewardship with their young kids.

You can follow Amber on Facebook and Instagram @ambergarrettcarroll. For the resource list Amber mentioned or any other inquiries, DM her or reach out via email to amber@equipyourcommunity.org. Equip's Parent Course is available at equipyourcommunity.org/parentcourse.

This episode is jammed packed and unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

Singles find themselves in a lot of awkward situations at church. When you take The Single Christian Derptitude test, choose your knee-jerk reaction to each prompt and learn your social superpower. Think of it like an aptitude test... for all the weird things people say to singles at church. Take this fun, free quiz at marybsafrit.com.

Support the show

In this episode, you'll hear Henry and Benaiah talk about:

The people, communities, and universes we miss out on when we enforce purity culture
Purity culture throughout the years—and its impact in high school, college, young adulthood, and beyond
Abandoning the controlling nature of purity culture by releasing and letting go of control
The macro and micro decisions, choices, and responsibilities we get to exercise as part of our freedom and agency
Surrendering to the power and unexpected encounters and nudges of the Holy Spirit

Benaiah Brown is a Spirit-filled entrepreneur and alternative therapist from Fort Worth, TX with an MBA from Acton School of Business. He practices RFR, a naturopathic process that uses remote muscle testing to find and release subconscious blocks to health and success, including beliefs, trauma, spiritual problems, and nutritional issues. In his spare time he drinks coffee, eats red meat, and makes videos of his chickens.

Originally from Kenya and currently based in Fort Worth, Texas, Henry Abuto is a Christian man who writes on Faith, Friendships, Sexuality, Race, Jesus, and a host of other topics. He loves hosting dinner parties, running, live music, deep friendships, red wine, Beyonce, and all things Texas.

You can follow Benaiah on Instagram @benaiah.brown and learn more about his work at benaiahbrown.com. Henry is on Instagram @bywasanga and on Twitter @henryabuto. Be sure to check out his website, henryabuto.com.

The Single Christian's Church Survival Guide isn’t a book about how to get un-single. It's about how to navigate a culture obsessed with marriage as a human who is not married. Let’s face it. Singles experience a lot of weird situations in the church. From the unwanted advice about our relationship status to the unspoken pressures of singleness, it can feel like no one knows what to do with us. These experiences are so common, we might start to wonder if we’re the weird ones. Head to Amazon and get your copy now!

Support the show

In today's episode, you're going to hear Bridget and I talk about:

how modern context twists the intended message of Scripture
who gets forgiveness
the social forces that created and perpetuated purity culture
and ways to shape our culture and society in a healthier direction

Bridget provides support to churches and ministries seeking to improve their relationship with the LGBTQ community. A leading voice on gay celibacy in the church, Bridget helps Christians better grapple with gender and sexuality in a divided culture. She has worked with a number of faith-based organizations, including Revoice, Christians for Social Action, and Preston Sprinkle's Center for Faith, Sexuality, and Gender, where she contributed to the Digital Leaders Forum. The recipient of multiple fellowship awards, she is completing her PhD in sociology at the CUNY Graduate Center and serves as an adjunct professor at John Jay College of Criminal Justice. Her first book, Heavy Burdens (Brazos Press 2022), was a Foreword INDIES 2022 Finalist in religion.

As a heads up, Bridget and I talk quite a bit about sexual assault and abuse, and predatory behavior. It starts around the 20-minute mark. If that will be triggering for you, please take care whilst listening.

Singles find themselves in a lot of awkward situations at church. When you take The Single Christian Derptitude test, choose your knee-jerk reaction to each prompt and learn your social superpower. Think of it like an aptitude test... for all the weird things people say to singles at church. Take this fun, free quiz at marybsafrit.com.

You can follow Bridget on Instagram and Twitter @travelingnun. Check out her writing on her website, meditationsofatravelingnun.com. Heavy Burdens: Seven Ways LGBTQ People Experience Harm in the Church is available wherever you buy books.

Support the show

In this episode, Matthias and I talk about:

why generosity feels terrifying—but is actually the thing that will free us
why survivors of purity culture must rebuild trust with self
the unique shame those of us with little to no sexual experience might have and how to move through it
and the importance of letting ourselves make mistakes

Matthias Roberts (he/him) is a queer psychotherapist, podcaster, and author of Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms. He hosts Queerology: A Podcast on Belief and Being and co-hosts Selfie alongside fellow therapist Kristen Howerton. Matthias holds two master’s degrees, one in Theology & Culture and one in Counseling Psychology from The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology.

Matthias’ work has been featured by O: The Oprah Magazine, Bustle, Woman’s Day, Sojourners, The Seattle Times, and many others. He is a Fellow at the Allender Center, a nonprofit helping survivors of trauma and abuse heal by stepping courageously into their stories of pain and harm. In his psychotherapy practice, Matthias specializes in helping LGBTQ+ people recover from religious and spiritual trauma so they might live confident and fulfilling lives. He writes and speaks nationwide about the intersections between gender, sexuality, mental health, and theology.

You can follow Matthias on Twitter and Instagram @matthiasroberts. Listen to Queerology and Selfie wherever you get your podcasts. You can pre-order his upcoming book, Holy Runaways, wherever you buy books.

Singles find themselves in a lot of awkward situations at church. When you take The Single Christian Derptitude test, choose your knee-jerk reaction to each prompt and learn your social superpower. Think of it like an aptitude test... for all the weird things people say to singles at church. Take this fun, free quiz at marybsafrit.com.

This episode is jammed packed and unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

If you're a fan of the podcast, please like, rate, and review!

Support the show

Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms

In this episode, Kendall and I talk about:

what bread can teach us about unmet longing
the struggle to capture and communicate the single experience
the connection between diet culture and purity culture
And what it looks like to let God meet our needs in unexpected ways

Today you get to hear from a guest who was on our podcast back in season 5. We are so pumped to have Kendall Vanderslice back in the house. Kendall is a baker, writer, and speaker, as well as the founder of the Edible Theology Project, a ministry that connects the Communion table to the kitchen table. She is a graduate of Wheaton College (BA Anthropology), Boston University (MLA Gastronomy), and Duke Divinity School (Master of Theological Studies). Her bylines include Christianity Today, Bitter Southerner, Christian Century, Religion News Service, and Faith & Leadership, as well as her book We Will Feast (Eerdmans 2019). Kendall lives in Durham, North Carolina, with her big-eared beagle named Strudel, where she teaches workshops on bread baking as a spiritual practice.

You can follow Kendall on Instagram @knvslice and @edibletheologyproject. Visit her online at www.kendallvanderslice.com. By Bread Alone is available today wherever you buy books. You can listen to her podcast, Kitchen Meditations, wherever you get your podcasts.

This episode is jammed packed and unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

The Single Christian's Church Survival Guide isn’t a book about how to get un-single. It's about how to navigate a culture obsessed with marriage as a human who is not married. Let’s face it. Singles experience a lot of weird situations in the church. From the unwanted advice about our relationship status to the unspoken pressures of singleness, it can feel like no one knows what to do with us. These experiences are so common, we might start to wonder if we’re the weird ones. Head to Amazon and get your copy now!

If you're a fan of the podcast, please like, rate, and review!

Support the show

TW: Sexual Violence was mentioned around the 10-minute mark.Kelly is a delight, and in today's episode, you'll hear us talk about:

how to let our beliefs and desires evolve
how purity culture still affects the way we treat singles
the power of challenging gender roles and learning to take up space
and why we need to give ourselves room to get things wrong

As a heads up, this week's episode contains a brief description of sexual violence around the 10-and-a-half-minute mark. Kelly gives a trigger warning before getting into it, but take care listening if that will be distressing for you to hear.

Kelly is a 35-year-old, consciously uncoupled (single), lifelong Texan. She is passionate about public ministry through social media and through her website, LetItMatter.com. Kelly is the creator, producer, and host of the Let It Matter Podcast, which seeks to make space for, honor, and name what matters — including everything from the Church, the Bible, faith, & theology to mental health to sex & sexuality to issues of social justice. She was also a guest cohost on the Where Do We Go From Here? podcast from July-December 2022. Kelly has been featured on several podcasts, including Interfaith Voices, as well as print media articles (WORLD Magazine, Christianity Today, and USA Today) around the topics of single adulthood, dating, and sexuality.

You can follow Kelly on Twitter and Instagram @kellykwolfe. Her podcast, Let It Matter is available wherever you listen and you can follow that account on Twitter @letitmatterpod and Instagram @letitmatterpodcast. Learn more at Letitmatterpodcast.com and Letitmatter.com

This episode is jammed packed and unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

The Single Christian's Church Survival Guide isn’t a book about how to get un-single. It's about how to navigate a culture obsessed with marriage as a human who is not married. Let’s face it. Singles experience a lot of weird situations in the church. From the unwanted advice about our relationship status to the unspoken pressures of singleness, it can feel like no one knows what to do with us. These experiences are so common, we might start to wonder if we’re the weird ones. Head to Amazon and get your copy now!

If you're a fan of the podcast, please like, rate, and review!

Support the show

This season we're focusing on purity culture, sexuality, and singleness. You'll hear from theologians, counselors, an educator, a sociologist, and more--each of them single and Christian and full to the brim with brilliance and heart. They also represent a range of perspectives, convictions, and life experiences. You'll hear how they are reimagining, rethinking, and reconstructing their right-now lives.

We have a dynamite season lined up for you, and we want you to be part of it! Make sure you're following me and the podcast on Instagram. I'm at maryb.safrit, and the podcast is at unsuitablepodcast. Come join us over at patreon.com/unsuitable.

Episode 1 drops on February 21, we can't wait for you to hear it!

Support the show

In today’s episode, Alysia and I talk about:

how writing builds empathy
what it means to embody our faith
and the power of being honest with yourself

Dr. Alysia Nicole Harris is an award-winning poet and spoken-word artist, an educator, and a linguist. In 2008 she featured on the HBO documentary: Brave New Voices where she wowed audiences with her piece "That Girl". In 2010 Alysia graduated UPENN Summa Cum Laude with honors and was also inducted into the Phi Beta Kappa honor society. Alysia received her MFA in poetry from NYU in 2014 and her PhD in linguistics from Yale University in 2019. Alysia was also a founding member of the internationally known performance poetry collective, The Strivers Row and has garnered over 5 million views on YouTUBE. She has toured nationally for the last 10 years and also performed at the United Nations and the US Embassies in Jordan and Ukraine, as well as in Australia, Canada, Germany, Slovakia, South Africa, the UAE, and the UK.

You can check out more of Alysia’s work on her website, alysiaharris.com, on social media @ poppyinthewheat, on YouTube, and at Scalawag Magazine .org.

Think coaching could be for you, fill out the interest form here!

Want the full episode? You can join our Patreon community to get the full episode! We hope to see you there!

Support the show

In this episode, you'll hear Grant and I talk about:

the intersection of a deeply rooted faith and LGBTQ culture
how celibacy can be life-giving
spiritual and found family
understanding the nuance of attraction
and more!

We are resharing an episode from season 5, but now you get to hear the full conversation. Grant and I recorded this conversation in November 2020. This was one of my favorite conversations, and I can't wait for y'all to hear from Grant Hartley again. Grant is a seminary student, speaker, and freelance writer living near St. Louis. He co-hosts the “Life on Side B” podcast, which facilitates conversations among Christian sexual and gender minorities on faith, sexuality, and gender.

You can follow Grant on Twitter @thegranthartley.

Think coaching could be for you, fill out the interest form here!

Want the full episode? You can join our Patreon community to get the full episode! We hope to see you there!

Support the show

We've made it to the season 8 wrap up episode. We spent this whole season hearing from some awesome guests about their experience being single and in the church--the good, the bad, and the awkward. For this wrap up episode, you're going to hear our favorite clips from each episode, which I'll string together with some solid narration.

Audio clips are from Henry Abuto, Matt Linden, Katelyn Beaty, Elizabeth Moore, Ekemini Uwan, Landen Swain, Kayana, Audrey Elledge, Anna Primrose, Jason Miller, Yana Jenay Conner, and Dr. Katie Gaddini.

Join our Patreon Community at patreon.com/unsuitable!

Fill out the interest form for 1-on-1 coaching with MaryB. here.

Support the show

None

In this episode, Katelyn and I discuss:

the intersection of celebrity and marital status in the church
how cultural context impacts how we singles see ourselves
the problem with singles' events at most churches
the power of being part of a spiritually nourishing community
and more!

Katelyn Beaty is a Midwest native living in New York City and editorial director for Brazos Press. But the most important thing you should know about her is that she loves words and believes they can change the world. Katelyn served as Christianity Today magazine's youngest and first female managing editor.

She has written for The New Yorker, The Washington Post, The Atlantic, and The New York Times on light topics such as politics, gender, and theology and has commented on faith and culture for CNN, ABC, NPR, Associated Press, Religion News Service, and the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation.

Katelyn enjoys exploring NYC, karaoke (post-pandemic, of course), FaceTiming with her nephew, international travel, and starting the day with the NYT Spelling Bee.

You can follow Katelyn on Instagram @katelyn_beaty and on Twitter @KatelynBeaty. Read more of her work at katelynbeaty.com. Celebrities for Jesus is available wherever you buy books.

Link to "In the Bleak Midwinter" by Richard Allain: https://soundcloud.com/dominicellispeckham/in-the-bleak-midwinter

For more information on Studio Aplomb visit craftedwithaplomb.com

The Single Christian's Holiday Survival Guide is available exclusively in my shop at marybsafrit.com

Support the show

In this episode, Jason and I cover:

navigating relational boundaries as a single pastor
what we miss when we require pastors to be married
how our assumptions create barriers in our friendships
why equating marriage with righteousness doesn't work
and more!

Jason Adam Miller is the founder and lead pastor of South Bend City Church, an eclectic Christian community known for its thoughtful teaching, inclusive vision, and commitment to its city context. An advocate for artists and peacemakers, his work beyond South Bend focuses on cultural headwaters and conflict zones, where he serves an international constituency of leaders. He holds a master’s degree in theology from the University of Notre Dame.

I can't wait for y'all to hear from Jason. We cut some good stuff to keep the episode snappy. If you want access to the ad-free, full interview, you can join our Patreon community for as little as $5 per month. Join us by visiting patreon.com/unsuitable. Alright, now let's dive into the conversation.

You can follow Jason on Instagram @jasonadammiller, or head to his website jasonadammiller.com. If you want to hear more from South Bend City Church, check out their podcast wherever you listen.

The Single Christian's Holiday Survival Guide is available exclusively in my shop at marybsafrit.com.

Think coaching could be for you, fill out the interest form here!

Want the full episode? You can join our Patreon community to get the full episode! We hope to see you there!

Support the show

In today's episode, you'll hear Kayana and I talk about:

lessons from being raised by a single mom
learning and unlearning relational patterns
why the church needs to talk about marriage differently
how art can help us process and heal relational wounds
and more!

Kayana is a singer-songwriter and producer born and raised in New York. Music was Kayana’s first language, having learned piano at age 3 from her mother, a classical and jazz pianist. Since then, she has become a multi-instrumentalist, writing and performing original songs starting at a young age. Kayana has explored various genres of music from singing in church, musical theatre, and local jazz bars. With influences ranging from H.E.R., Ella Mai, Tori Kelly, and Khalid, Kayana’s sound fuses pop and R&B with soulful and jazzy undertones.

You can follow Kayana on Instagram and Tiktok @kayanamusic and you can stream Kayana's music wherever you listen.

Get a copy of Kayana's Relationship Resources that she mentioned in her episode here!

The Single Christian's Holiday Survival Guide is available exclusively in my shop at marybsafrit.com.

Think coaching could be for you, fill out the interest form here!

Want the full episode? You can join our Patreon community to get the full episode! We hope to see you there!

Support the show

TW: sexual assault and abuse

In today’s episode, you’ll hear Matt and Anna talk about

the cost of touch deprivation
Why non-sexual touch is so important
how gender norms and sexuality play into our view of touch
how we can move forward

Anna is a 30-something single woman with a passion for singles’ advocacy in the church. She’s the founder of an online community called The Single Hearted Life, which exists to dismantle the myths about marriage and singleness in our society to cultivate a culture where single humans can thrive. Offline, Anna is a swiftie, a Star Wars fan, and a psychology student. She lives in Boise with two roommates, a cat, and a never ending reservoir of books and feelings. You can join our community at @singleheartedlife on Instagram, or connect with Anna at @annaIPrimrose1 on Twitter.

Matt is a gay Christian who lives in Germany. He’s a church kid who grew up in a conservative non-denominational environment – so when he realized he was gay at 13, a 21-year battle began to reconcile his faith with his sexuality. On his blog, The Crossing, Matt tells the story of his religious trauma in memoir format. You can follow Matt on Instagram @mattlinden, and his blog is crossingblog.com

This episode is jammed packed and unfortunately a lot wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode! We hope to see you there!

The Single Christian's Holiday Survival Guide is available exclusively in my shop at marybsafrit.com.

Support the show

In this episode, you'll hear Yana Jenay and I talk about:

the importance of being around other single Christians
what to look for in a church as a single person
the affect of healthy relationships between singles and leadership
Yana Jenay's advice for single people
and more!

Yana Jenay Conner is a writer and Bible teacher who seeks to help others think well about faith and culture. By God’s grace, she has served in full-time ministry for the past fifteen years in both the church and parachurch context and earned a Master in Divinity in Christian Ministry from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. She currently serves at Vertical Church as the Discipleship Director and hosts a podcast called Living Single.

You can follow Yana Jenay on Instagram @yanajenay. Living Single with Yana Jenay is available wherever you get your podcasts. You can find more of her writing and teaching at yanajenay.com.

The Single Christian's Holiday Survival Guide is available exclusively in my shop at marybsafrit.com.

Listen to The Advent Podcast with Katie Kibbe.

Support the show

In this chat, you'll hear about

Mutuality: the missing ingredient in too many friendships between marrieds and singles
What single friends need from their married friends—and vice versa
How to identify and express our needs—and unlearn what the Church has taught us about ignoring our need

Matt is a gay Christian who lives in Germany. He’s a church kid who grew up in a conservative non-denominational environment – so when he realized he was gay at 13, a 21-year battle began to reconcile his faith with his sexuality. On his blog, The Crossing, Matt tells the story of his religious trauma in memoir format.

You can follow Matt on Instagram @mattlinden, and his blog is crossingblog.com

For more information on Studio Aplomb visit craftedwithaplomb.com.

Listen to The Advent Podcast with Katie Kibbe.

Support the show

In this episode you'll hear about:

The weird ins and outs of Christian dating culture
The underrated value of clear communication
Why Landen says "if" rather than "when" when talking about marriage
How purity culture reinforces ring-by-spring culture
And so much more!

Landen Swain is an author, viral content creator, speaker, playwright, and lyricist. Moved to compassionate action after seeing the over-complexity of Christian dating culture, Swain spent his last few years at Liberty University researching, writing, and promoting his first book, which he believes can untangle some of the problems with the culture through conversation. Currently, Swain works in Pennsylvania as a Staff Associate with Young Life.

You can follow Landen on Instagram and Tiktok @detoxchristiandating. His book, Detox Christian Dating, is available on Amazon.

This episode is jammed packed and unfortunately a lot wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode! We hope to see you there!

Listen to Be Known the Podcast with Kerrah Fabacher wherever you get your podcast!

Support the show

None

In this episode, you'll hear about:

untangling cultural Christian expectations
how to treat singles as whole people
allowing for all feelings in singleness
which kinds of relationships deserve more attention (and why)
and so much more!

Today is an extra special episode of Unsuitable, because you're going to get to hear from two guests at once! Audrey Elledge lives in New York, where she works at SparkNotes and serves at Church of the City New York. Elledge is the recipient of the Academy of American Poets Prize and the Virginia Beall Ball Prize. Born and raised in Louisiana, Elizabeth Moore now lives in New York, where she works at Penguin Random House and serves with the Church of the City New York creative team. We're talking to both of them at once because they co-authored a book that releases today called Liturgies for Hope. You can listen to Audrey's playlist "Sermons in Stones" on Spotify.

You can follow Elizabeth on Instagram @elizabethjmoore and Audrey on Twitter @audreymae17. Their book, Liturgies for Hope, is available wherever you buy books. You can listen to Audrey's playlist "Sermons in Stones" on Spotify.

This episode is jammed packed and unfortunately a lot wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode! We hope to see you there!

Think coaching could be for you, fill out the interest form here!

Support the show

In today's episode, you'll hear Henry and I talk about:

Holding our married friends accountable
The vulnerability of sharing our suffering,
Tangible ways the church can show up for singles
And so much more!

Originally from Kenya and currently based in Fort Worth, Texas, Henry is a Christian man who writes on Faith, Friendships, Sexuality, Race, Jesus and a host of other topics. He loves hosting dinner parties, running, live music, deep friendships, red wine, Beyonce, and all things Texas.

You can follow Henry on Instagram and on Twitter @henryabuto. Be sure to check out his website, henryabuto.com.

This episode is jammed packed and unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode! We hope to see you there!

Think coaching could be for you? Fill out the interest form here!

Buzzsprout - Let's get your podcast launched!
Start for FREE

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Support the show

In this episode, you'll hear Katie and I talk about:

How the Billy Graham rule affects single women
What the church gets right about community
Our thoughts on "changing the church from the inside"
The specific value single women bring to the church

Dr. Katie Gaddini is a sociologist at the Social Research Institute, University College London (UCL), and a research associate at the University of Johannesburg, Department of Sociology. From 2022-2026 she is a United Kingdom Research & Innovation (UKRI) Research Fellow at Stanford University and UCL.

Katie holds master’s degrees from Boston College and the London School of Economics, and a PhD in Sociology from the University of Cambridge.

Her debut book, The Struggle to Stay, is based on over four years of in-depth ethnographic research with single evangelical women in the US and the UK. Her current research investigates Christianity and politics in the US. Her writing has been published in Religion & Politics, LA Review of Books, The Marginalia Review, The Conversation , and more.

You can follow Katie on Instagram @drkatiegaddini, and on Twitter @DrKatieGaddini. Her website is katiegaddini.com. You can buy The Struggle to Stay: Why Single Evangelical Women Are Leaving the Church from all major book retailers.

Buzzsprout - Let's get your podcast launched!
Start for FREE

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Support the show

In today's episode, you'll hear Ekemini and I talk about

the unique injustices single black women face
how to broaden the way we think about contentment
what a healthy community in singleness looks like
ways to uproot shame

Ekemini Uwan is a public theologian and co-author of Truth’s Table: Black Women’s Musings on Life, Love, and Liberation. She is the co-host of the award-winning podcast, Truth's Table and Get In The Word With Truth’s Table. Ekemini is also a contributing writer for Hallmark Mahogany and Christianity Today named her among "10 New or Lesser-Known Female Theologians Worth Knowing.” Her writings have been published in The Atlantic, The Washington Post, The Huffington Post Black Voices, Christianity Today, and The Witness: A Black Christian Collective to name a few. Ekemini has appeared on MSNBC, and her insights are quoted by NPR, CNN, The New York Times, The Washington Post, and The New Yorker among other publications. As one who is passionate about theology, Ekemini has a fierce commitment to the gospel and its implications for issues pertaining to racial injustice, anti-black racism, and white supremacy.

You can follow Ekemini on Twitter @sista_theology, Instagram @sistatheology, and Facebook at facebook.com/sistatheology. Her website is sistamatictheology.com.

This episode is jam-packed and full of perspective! If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to rate and review!

Think coaching could be for you, fill out the interest form here!

Buzzsprout - Let's get your podcast launched!
Start for FREE

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Support the show

In today's episode, you'll hear Ekemini and I talk about

the unique injustices single black women face
how to broaden the way we think about contentment
what a healthy community in singleness looks like
ways to uproot shame

Ekemini Uwan is a public theologian and co-author of Truth’s Table: Black Women’s Musings on Life, Love, and Liberation. She is the co-host of the award-winning podcast, Truth's Table and Get In The Word With Truth’s Table. Ekemini is also a contributing writer for Hallmark Mahogany and Christianity Today named her among "10 New or Lesser-Known Female Theologians Worth Knowing.” Her writings have been published in The Atlantic, The Washington Post, The Huffington Post Black Voices, Christianity Today, and The Witness: A Black Christian Collective to name a few. Ekemini has appeared on MSNBC, and her insights are quoted by NPR, CNN, The New York Times, The Washington Post, and The New Yorker among other publications. As one who is passionate about theology, Ekemini has a fierce commitment to the gospel and its implications for issues pertaining to racial injustice, anti-black racism, and white supremacy.

You can follow Ekemini on Twitter @sista_theology, Instagram @sistatheology, and Facebook at facebook.com/sistatheology. Her website is sistamatictheology.com.

This episode is jam-packed and full of perspective! If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to rate and review!

Think coaching could be for you, fill out the interest form here!

Buzzsprout - Let's get your podcast launched!
Start for FREE

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Support the show

This is Unsuitable with MaryB. Safrit, where I interview single Christians in order to broaden the conversation on singleness and expand our collective imagination of what is possible for the single life.

Each episode this season, we’re going to be talking about being single and in the church--the good, bad, and awkward. Episode 1 drops October 11.

We've also launched a Patreon community. For a small monthly fee, you can get access to bonus content, plus a community where your voice and presence are valued. Tiers start at just $5/month. Sign up at patreon.com/unsuitable. I can't wait to see you there!

Support the show

We’ve made it to the season wrap-up, where I (MaryB., the host) answer the question of the season and tie all the episodes together. In this episode, you’ll hear a story of unexpected calling, and what I learned from this season’s guests.

I’m MaryB. Safrit, a communicator, creator, and coach passionate about filling the gap between what the church offers and what single Christians need.

If you’re enjoying the show, please take a minute to rate and review. To stay up to date on all things Unsuitable, follow me on Instagram @maryb.safrit or subscribe to my weekly newsletter at marybsafrit.com.

In this episode, Matt Linden and I talk about the power of saying “I don’t know,” the global church, and Matt’s calling to come out.

Matt is a gay Christian from Tacoma, Washington. He’s a church kid who grew up in a conservative non-denominational environment – so when he realized he was gay at 13, a 21-year battle began to reconcile his faith with his sexuality. He was a member and Community Group leader at Mars Hill Church in Seattle from 2008-2014, and after finally coming out in 2019 at age 34, he resolved to tell his story. On his blog, The Crossing, Matt tells the story of his religious trauma in memoir format. His hope is to help himself heal and sort out his own theology, as well as let others know they are not alone in the struggle to follow Jesus as LGBTQ Christians.

Check out Matt’s blog at crossingblog.com.

If you’re enjoying the show, please take a minute to rate and review. To stay up to date on all things Unsuitable, follow me on Instagram @maryb.safrit or subscribe to my weekly newsletter at marybsafrit.com.

In this episode, you’ll hear Averi Israel and I talk about contributing to life’s bigger story, working through self-doubt, and why it’s important to have teammates.

Averi is an actress and writer/director from the eight cities that raised her. She moved to New York City to pursue a Film Studies degree from Columbia University, where she graduated as the recipient of the Louis Sudler Prize in the Arts. Shortly after, she moved to South Korea where she spent a season as the set designer for Seoul Shakespeare Company. Now back in NYC, she is cultivating a career at the intersection of art and activism, having trained as an actor at Circle in the Square, the UCB Theatre, as well as with the Broadway Advocacy Coalition, and performed at The Tank, The New Ohio, and Columbia University. As a writer, her pieces for stage and film consist primarily of historical fiction works and those that incorporate elements of Afrofuturism, seeking to root our contemporary moment in both its foundational past and visionary future.

You can follow Averi on Instagram @averiisrael. Be sure to check out her website, averiisrael.com.

If you’re enjoying the show, please take a minute to rate and review. To stay up to date on all things Unsuitable, follow me on Instagram @maryb.safrit or subscribe to my weekly newsletter at marybsafrit.com.

Malinda Fugate and I talk about what happens when a calling sends you in an unexpected direction, experiencing God’s love tangibly, the mixed bag of singleness, and adjusting standards that don’t apply to us.

Malinda serves as the Children's Education Director at a church in Southern California. She attended Azusa Pacific University and worked behind the scenes in Los Angeles Christian radio. Her writing includes The Other Three Sixteens, Bible Time for Active Kids, copywriting, faith-based stage and screenplays, and co-producing A Single Girl's Guide To, a blog and web series.

You can follow Malinda on Instagram @malthewriter and on Twitter @malthestar and her book, The Other 3:16s, is available wherever you buy books.

If you’re enjoying the show, please take a minute to rate and review. To stay up to date on all things Unsuitable, follow me on Instagram @maryb.safrit or subscribe to my weekly newsletter at marybsafrit.com.

Kristina Hart and I talk about the power of comedy to heal and connect, combating imposter syndrome, and encountering the divine in rehab.

Kristina is a faith-informed writer, comedian, host, and popular online persona. The spirited voice behind The DTR Blog, this Persian-American woman is unafraid to break barriers and raise tough questions related to topics like trauma, emotional suffering, and the world’s longest season of singleness.

You can follow Kristina on all the socials @edgykristinahart and @thatssuperweirdpod. Her podcast, That’s Super Weird, is available wherever you get your podcasts. And you can read more of Kristina’s work at thedtrblog.com.

If you’re enjoying the show, please take a minute to rate and review. To stay up to date on all things Unsuitable, follow me on Instagram @maryb.safrit or subscribe to my weekly newsletter at marybsafrit.com.

Eric Demeter and I talk about two different kinds of calling, what it’s like to write a book, the power of mentorship, and how to not overcomplicate our calling.

Eric is a relationship and conflict resolution specialist with advanced studies in mediation, peacemaking, and negotiation. He is currently a missionary with Youth With a Mission based in Athens, Greece where he disciples young people and teaches conflict resolution and healthy relationships to YWAM staff and missionary students.

You can follow Eric on Instagram @ericjdemeter, and you can find How Should a Christian Date? wherever you buy books. You can read more of his work on his website, ericdemeter.com.

If you’re enjoying the show, please take a minute to rate and review. To stay up to date on all things Unsuitable, follow me on Instagram @maryb.safrit or subscribe to my weekly newsletter at marybsafrit.com.

Kathryn Freeman and I talk about the fluidity of calling, calling as a series of small faithful acts, and calling as a communal act.

Kathryn is a writer, lawyer, advocate, and podcast host. She has a degree in English with a minor in Political Science from Texas A&M University, a Master of Divinity from Baylor University, and a Juris Doctorate from the University of Texas School of Law. Previously, Kathryn was the Director of Public Policy for the Texas Baptists Christian Life Commission (CLC). Kathryn has worked for several public policy non-profits and as a press secretary for two members of the Texas Legislature.

Currently, she has a consulting business that helps Christian nonprofits build advocacy programs. Kathryn is also one of the hosts of the Melanated Faith podcast. Melanated Faith is a podcast about the intersection of faith, race, and pop culture. She also writes about the intersection of faith, race, and pop culture. Her work has appeared in Christianity Today, Christ and Pop Culture, and Think Christian. Kathryn loves books, Tex-Mex, and iced coffee. She is passionate about Jesus, justice, and Beyoncé.

You can find Kathryn on Instagram @kathrynannette83, on Twitter @kathrynannette, and on her website kathrynafreeman.com. Her podcast, Melanated Faith, is available wherever you listen.

If you’re enjoying the show, please take a minute to rate and review. To stay up to date on all things Unsuitable, follow me on Instagram @ maryb.safrit or subscribe to my weekly newsletter at marybsafrit.com.

Joan Watson and I talk about the connection between desire and calling, Joan’s process of following a calling out of a comfortable job and into the world of speaking and writing, waiting as a participatory act, and the unexpected benefits of asking for help.

Joan is a Catholic speaker and writer who loves to make Scripture, theology, liturgy, and history accessible and applicable. In 2013, she began working for the Diocese of Nashville as Director of Adult Formation and was later promoted to Director of Faith Formation. She recently left the diocese to pursue her dream of writing and speaking full-time. She is the Associate Editor of Integrated Catholic Life, where she writes weekly.

You can follow Joan on Instagram @joan.m.watson or on her website, joanmwatson.com.

If you’re enjoying the show, please take a minute to rate and review. To stay up to date on all things Unsuitable, follow me on Instagram @maryb.safrit or subscribe to my weekly newsletter at marybsafrit.com.

Michael Frazier and I talk about the humbling path of following a calling, the power of mentorship, and surrendering our desires by naming them.

Michael is an award-winning poet & educator living in central Japan. He graduated from NYU, where he was the 2017 poet commencement speaker & a co-champion of CUPSI. He's performed at Nuyorican Poets Café, Lincoln Center, Gallatin Arts Festival, & other venues. His poems appear, or are forthcoming, in Poetry Daily, The Offing, Cream City Review, RHINO, Visible Poetry Project, & elsewhere. He facilitates a zoom poetry book club open to the public. He also volunteers as a Youth Leader at a small cafe in Kanazawa City that’s on fire for Christ (Hope House), and he’s working on poetry collection(s) about oyakodon, his hilarious mother, and being black in Japan. He’s uber passionate about anime, bubble tea, and, most importantly, the power of Christ to change lives.

You can connect with Michael on Instagram and Twitter @fraziermichael or on his website, fraziermichael.com.

If you’re enjoying the show, please take a minute to rate and review. To stay up to date on all things Unsuitable, follow me on Instagram @ maryb.safrit or subscribe to my weekly newsletter at marybsafrit.com.

Carmen Ross and I talk about how we’re all creative, the risk of vulnerability, and using creativity to express ourselves. Carmen’s mission is to connect people to resources to help amplify, or empower them. She does this through her work in philanthropy, and more recently, through her photography and artistry. She believes we have all been created, by our Creator, to create. She is a daughter, sister, empathetic friend, and a connector. A native of California, she currently lives and works in Northern California.

You can follow Carmen on Instagram @carmenxcharm or on her website, carmenross.com.

If you’re enjoying the show, please take a minute to rate and review. To stay up to date on all things Unsuitable, follow me on Instagram @ maryb.safrit or subscribe to my weekly newsletter at marybsafrit.com.

This is Unsuitable with MaryB. Safrit, the podcast featuring interviews with single Christians about their lives and faith. We are entering our seventh season and we have an awesome line-up for y’all. Each episode this season, we’re going to be talking about calling and direction, and what it’s like to pursue a calling as someone who is single. Episode 1 drops on February 15th. Make sure you’re following wherever you get your podcasts!

How do we, as singles, form relationships of depth?

For the final, wrap-up episode, I’m giving my thoughts on this question, as well as tying together the content from this season’s episode.

In this episode, you’ll hear Bridget Eileen Rivera talk about how she got into LGBTQ advocacy work, what Christians misunderstand about pride, what queer culture can teach the church about community and chosen family, and queer platonic partnership. Just as a heads up, there is a brief mention of homophobia and suicidal thoughts in this episode. Please listen with care.

Bridget Eileen writes and speaks on faith, sexuality, and justice. Her website, Meditations of a Traveling Nun, is a leading resource on gay celibacy, attracting thousands of unique visitors every month. She has worked with a number of faith-based organizations, including Revoice, Christians for Social Action, and Preston Sprinkle’s Center for Faith, Sexuality, and Gender, where she contributed to the Digital Leaders Forum. Rivera is currently pursuing her PhD in sociology from the City University of New York Graduate Center.

You can find Bridget on social media @travelingnun or on her website, bridgeteileenrivera.com. Pre-order her upcoming book, Heavy Burdens: Seven Ways LGBTQ Christians Experience Harm in the Church wherever you get your books.

Use code Unsuitable10 for 10% off your order at riseofthegingers.com

In this episode, you’ll hear Annamarie Reed talk about her involvement in Deep Healing Prayer, how she was able to forgive and heal from past hurts, the three components of forgiveness, and why we need to release the wrongs that have been done to us.

Annamarie is a native of Portland, Oregon, but has lived in Atlanta for the past 15 years. She is the author of Through the Cleanness of Our Hands: A Foundation for Intercession. She has been active in deep wound healing and deliverance prayer ministry for the past five years. Annamarie’s passion is seeing people set free by the Holy Spirit.

You can learn more about deep healing ministries at deephealingatlanta.org

Use code Unsuitable10 for 10% off your order at riseofthegingers.com

In today’s epsiode, you’ll hear Pieter Valk talk about building community as a gay Christian called to lifelong, vocational singleness, the necessity of commitment in relationships, the Nashville Family of Brothers’ modern twist on mosastic life, and mutually beneficial relationships between singles, married folks, and the church.

Pieter is a licensed professional counselor, the director of EQUIP, and cofounder of the Nashville Family of Brothers, an ecumenically Christian brotherhood for men called to vocational singleness. He helps churches love gay people and celibate Christians find family.

You can find Pieter on social media @pieterlvalk. Learn more about Equip at equipyourcommunity.org and the Nashville Family of Brothers at familyofbrothers.org

Use code Unsuitable10 for 10% off your order at riseofthegingers.com

In today’s episode, you’ll hear Chinbo Chong talk about the benefits of mentor and mentee relationships, The challenges of making friends when you have to move around a lot, how self-reflection can improve your relationships, and how to cultivate relationships sustainably.

Chinbo is a postdoctoral fellow and a visiting assistant professor of Political Science at Indiana University. She holds a Ph.D. in American Politics from the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, and a B.A. in Political Science at UC Berkeley. Her name means true (Chin) treasure (bo) or progressive, and is passionate about living out her name/calling as an academic in the study of politics. When she is not reading/writing/teaching, she enjoys being physically active, and having deep & meaningful conversations with people.

You can follow Chinbo’s work at www.chinbochong.com. She’s also on Twitter @chinboPhD and Instagram @chinbo86

Use code Unsuitable10 for 10% off your order at riseofthegingers.com

In this episode, you’ll hear Sara-Mae Dafoe talk about her new EP, Letters to Ben, healing through different types of loss, learning to forgive ourselves, and finding security in friendship. Just as a heads up, there is a brief mention of abuse. Nothing explicit, but please listen with care.

Sara-Mae is an independent Singer/Songwriter from Calgary, Alberta. A life-long love of creative writing led to a deep appreciation of well-crafted, heartfelt lyrics as can be heard on her first album “Flourish” (2017) and second album “Unexpected Hallelujah” (2018). The single “Emmanuel (God With Us)” is regularly included in Christmas playlists on Christian radio stations all over the world. She recently released an EP called Letters to Ben, which is available on all streaming platforms.

You can find Sara-Mae on Instagram @saramaedafoe music and @letters_to_ben, and at saramaedafoe.com and letterstoben.com. Listen to Letters To Ben wherever you steam music.

Use code Unsuitable10 for 10% off your order at riseofthegingers.com

Shout Outs: Where Do We Go From Here Podcast, Episode 40: Christians Break Up Too

DeVon Wade talks about his journey back to the church, how he found community in a new city, how to build friendship across differences, and the unexpected benefit of being an outsider.

DeVon cares a lot about Christians actually doing what Jesus commanded and believes that siblings in Christ should act as such, regardless of relationship status. He works in Refugee Resettlement and is a big fan of all things Waffle House-related.

You can follow DeVon on Twitter at devon__notdevin and on Instagram at itsdevon_notdevin.

Use code Unsuitable10 for 10% off your order at riseofthegingers.com

Shout Outs: Joy Vetterlein, Writer and Pastor to Christian Misfits- joyvetterlein.com

Jenna DeWitt (she/her) is an aromantic asexual Methodist. She lives in sunny Southern California and spends her time advocating for queer belonging in the church.

In this episode, Jenna and I talk about the value of both intergenerational and digital relationships, the challenges of not having a community of people like you, why the idolatry of romance and marriage is harmful for everyone, what church family could look like, and values-based boundary-setting.

You can find Jenna on Twitter @Jenna_DeWitt and at her blog, Invisible Cake Society: https://invisiblecakesociety.com/

Use code Unsuitable10 for 10% off your order at riseofthegingers.com

Shoutouts: Holly Stallcup, Rise- nowsherises.org; Matt Nightingale, The Journey Center- mattnightingale.com; Brene Brown, Braving the Wilderness (book)

Sarah is an actress, singer, voice-over artist, humanitarian, and lover of adventure. Having moved from spending years in the non-profit world, working in the Middle East, to hustling as a film actor on both the east and west coast, her life has been anything but linear. She is also the creative director at Empower Women Media.

On today’s episode, you’ll hear Sarah and I talk about how she learned to cultivate deep relationships, the life-changing event that drove her to seek authenticity in relationships, and how she has learned to be truly honest in her relationship with God. Just as a heads up, there is a mention of sexual abuse in our conversation, and one baby swear word. Please listen at your own discretion.

You can follow Sarah on Instagram @ sarahgardnerartist.

Use code Unsuitable10 for 10% off your order at riseofthegingers.com

Each episode this season, we’re going to explore what it looks like to form deep relationships as people who aren’t married. Here’s a sneak peek of what you’ll hear.

In today’s jam-packed BONUS EPISODE, Kat Harris talks about her book, Sexless in the City, what led her to question the sexual script she’d learned in purity culture, how she learned to move from shame and fear into freedom, the difference between the desire for sex and sexual desire, and what to do with our sexual desire as people who are single.

Kat Harris is the host of The Refined Collective Podcast, and Co-Founder of the online publication The Refined Woman. Her first book Sexless in the City will hit bookstores April 2021. She has also been a full-time photographer for the last decade with her work featured in: Vanity Fair, GQ, Forbes, People, Who What Wear, US Weekly, Glamour UK, and more.

Sexless in the City officially releases April 20 and is available for pre-order pretty much anywhere you can buy books. Visit sexlessinthecitybook.com to learn more. You can follow Kat on Instagram @therefinedwoman and @therefinedcollective. The podcast episodes on Masturbation that Kat mentions are on her podcast, The Refined Collective, which is available wherever you get your podcasts.

On today’s episode, I tie all the season's interviews together with a story and some insights. You'll hear about how communication and community go hand in hand, the importance of challenging our assumptions, and how the idolatry of marriage affects long-term singles in the church.

If you’re a single Christian, odds are you’ve experienced any number of derpy, aka awkward and dumb, situations in the church. Like a stranger making comments about your biological clock, or being expected to volunteer for everything under the sun because of how much free time you must have. Did you know that you have an instinctive plan of action when put in these situations? On February 11th, I’m releasing The Single Christian Derptitude Test. This free quiz reveals your social superpower in derpy situations. It’s like an aptitude test… for dealing with the weird things people say to singles in church. To get first dibs, head to marybsafrit.com/subscribe to get on my weekly email newsletter.

Today you get to hear from Grant Hartley. Grant is a gay celibate seminarian, an infamous workshop presenter, and a cohost for the Life on Side B podcast. He spent several years involved in teaching and discipleship through a college campus ministry, and infrequently speaks at Christian conferences on topics at the intersection of faith, sexuality, and culture. When he is not scrambling to catch up on his classes, he is reading a good book, thrift shopping, drinking coffee, or figuring out ways to be cancelled on social media. He is deeply interested in the myriad ways God has been, and continues to be, active in the lives of Queer people.

Y’all this episode is, as Hamilton would say, non-stop. You’ll hear Grant talk about the intersection of LGBT+ culture and Christianity, what the closet metaphor has in common with the gospel, how celibacy can be fruitful and life-giving, building community as a single Christian, and what he wishes the church understood about him. Just as a heads up, this episode explores non-affirming theology, so please listen at your own discretion.

You can follow Grant on Twitter @The GrantHartley

Today’s episode features Carla Hayden. Carla is passionate about mentoring and discipling young people – whether young in age or young in their faith – to live from their core identity. Affectionately known as “Mama Hayden” or “Clarity Carla”, she hosts virtual “Mentoring with Mama” and “Coffee with Carla” sessions where she uses her gifts of teaching, communication, coaching, and hospitality to help individuals and small groups lay solid biblical foundations in their lives through the practical application of the Word.

In this episode, you’ll hear about how Carla learned to trust God through loss and uncertainty, how to ask for what she needs, how to take a quarterly personal retreat, and how to care for people going through divorce.

You can follow Carla on Instagram @ _just_passing_through.

Registration for hopewriters is open January 21st through the 29th. It has by far been the best resource for taking my writing career to the next level. To learn more about hopewriters, head to marybsafrit.com/hope.

Today you get to hear from Kendall Vanderslice. Kendall is a baker and writer living in Durham, North Carolina. A graduate of Duke Divinity School, she is the author of We Will Feast: Rethinking Dinner, Worship, and the Community of God. I cannot wait for y’all to hear from Kendall. You’ll hear about dinner churches, baking and eating as an act of worship, how eating together can foster real, messy unity, and so much more.

You can find her on Instagram at @kvslice and sign up for her newsletter, Edible Theology, at www.KendallVanderslice.com.

If you’d like to support the show, please take a minute to rate and review on Apple! To stay in the loop and get a weekly message from me, head to marybsafrit.com and subscribe to my newsletter.

Today you’re going to hear from Terry Stokes. Terry is a youth pastor serving a church in central New Jersey. He is a graduate of Princeton Theological Seminary and Yale University, an avid spikeball player, and a songwriter. He is also the arts & culture editor for Earth & Altar magazine. His book of prayers, Collects for our Cultural Moment, will be published by Penguin Random House next fall. In our conversation, you’re going to hear about finding a spiritual home, working within big, slow institutions, how churches can support single leaders, and how to make a community rule of life.

You can follow Terry on Instagram @prayersfromterry and on Twitter @terryjallday.

If you’d like to support the show, please take a minute to rate and review on Apple!

This week, you’ll hear from model, event planner, and friendship enthusiast, Naili Woelper. Naili is based in Pheonix, and is currently learning what authenticity with God and self looks like. In today’s episode, you’ll hear about what helped Naili move from people-pleasing to considering what she wants, what happens when you’re randomly blunt in close relationships, and how she learned to trust God more deeply after a loss.

You can find Naili online at nailiwoelper.com and on social media @nailiw.

If you’d like to support the show, please take a minute to rate and review on Apple!

Abi Benke is an opera singer, actress, poet, and storyteller who finds herself very much in the middle of her artistic journey. She’s performed with the New York Gilbert & Sullivan players, and was building momentum as a working artist in NYC until 2020 when the environment shutdown both publicly and for her personally. You’ll hear more about that in our conversation, as well as what happens when your dreams get put on hold, the vulnerability of using your voice, and how to know when you need to rest.

You can follow Abi on Instagram @abigailbenke and check out more of her work at abigailbenke.com.

If you are interested in supporting the show, please take a moment to subscribe, rate and review on Apple. For resources designed to help single Christians like you thrive, head to my website marybsafrit.com.

Jonathan is a New York City-based actor who lives to bring joy and light into people’s lives that will free them from anxiety and depression. In this episode, you’ll hear to be still with God, how comedy can help with mental health, and the value of long-term friendship.

You can follow Jonathan on social media @jonathanmflores.

If you’d like to support the show, head over to Apple Podcasts to rate and review. For resources designed to help single Christians like you thrive, head to my website: marybsafrit.com.

This week, you’re going to hear from scholar and all-around creative boss Dr. Alysia Nicole Harris. She is an award-winning poet and spoken-word artist, an educator, and a linguist. In today’s episode, Alysia and I talk about how writing builds empathy, what it means to embody our faith, and the power of being honest with yourself.

You can check out more of Alysia’s work on her website, alysiaharris.com, on social media @poppyinthewheat, on YouTube, and at scalawagmagazine.org.

For resources designed to help single Christians like you thrive, head to my website marybsafrit.com.

In this wrap-up episode, I’m tying together key take-aways from the nine interviews of the season with a story, some insights, and what it all means for you as a single, Christian creative.

One of the most prevalent themes of this season was creative identity-how do you know when to call yourself a creative, a writer, a singer, etc? You’re going to hear about the time I completely whiffed it in front of a renowned German vocal coach and 30 of my peers and teachers and the one things she said that sent me into a creative identity crisis.

Hope*Writers Free Quiz: https://www.hopewriters.com/a/33837/dyGngQxT

Hope*Writers Enrollment Info: https://www.hopewriters.com/a/33729/dyGngQxT

Anna Broadway is a writer and editor currently based in Alaska and working on a book about singleness around the world. She spent 2018-2019 on fieldwork for the book, interviewing more than 300 Christians in almost 40 countries. She is the author of a memoir called Sexless in the City (2008), she has written for the Washington Post, TheAtlantic.com, Books and Culture, OnFaith, Paste, The Journal of the History of Sexuality, Christianity Today and other publications. She is a contributor to the books Venus and Virtue (2018), Disquiet Time (2014), Talking Taboo (2013) and Faith at the Edge (2008) and holds an M.A. in religious studies from Arizona State University.

I can’t wait for y’all to hear from Anna. She is the absolute real deal. We cover a lot of ground in our conversation, like her creative journey, what led her to spend over a year researching singleness in the global church, and a couple things she noticed on that trip.

You can find Anna at annabroadway.com where you can read her work, find links to her social media accounts, and contact her.

Disquiet Time: Rants and Reflections on the Good Book by the Skeptical, the Faithful, and a Few Scoundrels

Faith at the Edge: A New Generation of Catholic Writers Reflects on Life, Love, Sex and Other Mysteries

Talking Taboo: American Christian Women Get Frank About Faith (I SPEAK FOR MYSELF, 4)

Venus and Virtue: Celebrating Sex and Seeking Sanctification

Sylvia is a user experience designer who specializes in creating digital strategies, products, and services across multiple platforms. She is currently at Publicis Sapient, specifically working on Marcel. Sylvia is a native New Yorker who spends a lot of time hanging with her reluctant cat and thinking about the next cozy sweater she’ll buy.

Sylvia’s story is so relatable to those who left college and found themselves questioning everything. If you’re like me, you’ll learn a lot from her perspective on work, relationships, and faith.

You can find Sylvia on social media @sylviajun.ai and on her website, sylviahjun.com.

Stephen Simmons has been telling stories onstage, in front of a camera, and over a microphone for most of his life. He grew up in the church and always knew he wanted to use my skill set for the kingdom of God, but how exactly that would happen has transformed over the years. He currently lives in Columbia, SC, but is on a team preparing to plant a church in Charlotte, NC.

Stephen and I talk about about his creative work, and how his faith informs his understanding of ambition.

You can find Stephen’s YouTube channel at tinyurl.com/WatchSeven, and on social media @stephenjsimmons7. The Heavenly Spectrum is available on Apple, Spotify, and more.

If you’re a single Christian creative looking for resources to help you thrive, head to marybsafrit.com.

Kat Harris is a Brooklyn-based online educator, digital content creator, and female empowerment advocate. She loves God, a good Beyoncé dance party, and has an affinity for Ranch dressing.

She has a B.S. in Biblical Studies from Dallas Baptist University and is Co-Founder of the online publication The Refined Woman and host of The Refined Collective Podcast. She has also been a full-time photographer for the last decade with her work being featured in: Vanity Fair, GQ, Forbes, People, Who What Wear, US Weekly, and Glamour UK.

The vehicles for her message are: her podcast, online courses, written articles, hosted leadership development workshops, speaking at conferences, and more.

In this episode, Kat and I talk about her incredible creative journey, and you’ll get a super practical, step by step process from her on how to overcome limiting narratives and choose freedom over fear.

You can find Kat on social media @therefinedwoman. Her website is therefinedwoman.com, and her podcast, The Refined Collective, is available on Apple, Spotify, and more. And that link she mentioned with the free download is bit.ly/trwdatingtips.

Enrollment for The Creative Refresh is open! It’s a six week group coaching program in which I help single Christians move from overwhelmed to empowered in their creative calling. For more information, and to sign up, head to marybsafrit.com/group.

Obiekwe "or-Obi" Okolo is a Nigerian American Creative Director, Photographer, home chef, and plant dad. After a degree in Architecture, and a couple of years in the industry, Obi left the built environment to pursue a broader creative practice. Including design, branding and brand strategy, photography, writing, art direction, and hospitality.

Get a pen and some paper because Obi drops serious knowledge about creative work, rest, learning to see, and identity.

You can check out Obi’s work at stagcreative.co and on social media @obi.stg. If you want to check out Obi’s t-shirt company, that link was thehypeyeast.com.

If you’re a single Christian creative who feels overwhelmed by and alone in your creative calling, NEXT WEEK, August 11, registration opens for The Creative Refresh. Check out marybsafrit.com/group for more info.

Norma Hopcraft is a published author who recently took a creative writing sabbatical year in Paris, where she wrote The Paris Writers Circle. Then she lived in Barcelona. She now lives and writes in Brooklyn. She was a newspaper and corporate journalist, then a magna cum laude graduate of New York University’s undergrad creative writing and literature program. She's been published by the literary magazine South Dakota Review and won first prize from Deadly Ink for a mystery short story.

In this episode, Norma talks about finding her why for writing and defining success and prosperity. Get excited, because Norma has a wealth of experience and insight on the creative life, particularly for those of you who are side-hustling.

You can buy Norma’s books on Amazon by searching for Norma Hopcraft, and you can find her at https://njaegerhopcraft.blogspot.com/.

For more information on The Creative Refresh, a six-week group coaching program for single Christian creatives, head to marybsafrit.com/group.

The Paris Writers Circle

Matt Lau is a graphic designer, video editor, and photographer from central New Jersey. He currently works as an e-commerce graphic designer, and volunteers as a Sunday School teacher for 11th graders. He also has a podcast called The Woes Podcast where he interviews high-school and college-aged students about their current lives and struggles. 5 things that help define his recreational life: pickup basketball, online shopping, video games, Star Wars, and the Miami Dolphins.

In this episode, you’ll hear about finding work after college, changing fields, setting boundaries and appreciation and compensation. If you’ve ever been expected to work for free, you’ll want to hear what Matt and I have to say about it, particularly when the ask comes from your church.

You can check out Matt’s work at matthewlauphotography.com and The Woes Podcast is available on Apple.

Visit marybsafrit.com/group to learn more about The Creative Refresh, a six-week group coaching program for single Christian creatives.

Ashley Hong is an editor and producer based in New York. She's an assistant editor at Random House, where she edits and acquires nonfiction in the faith space. In her spare time, she enjoys reading (duh), running, and producing audio storytelling.

In this episode, you'll hear Ashley's practices for overcoming self-doubt, how to ask for feedback, and how to wrestle with creative identity at all stages of the journey. You can find Ashley at ashleysunghae.com and on all the socials @ashleysunghae.

You can find more info on The Creative Refresh, my six-week croup coaching program for single Christian creatives, at marybsafrit.com/group

Caroline Mayer is a NYC-based interior designer focused in the hospitality industry. She recently received a degree in interior design after making a career switch a few years ago. Previously, she worked for a public relations agency in Boston.

In this episode, Caroline shares about her creative journey and how she overcomes perfectionism, comparison, and burn out. You can follow Caroline on Instagram @carolinermayer.

Season 4 premieres July 7, and I want you to be ready and rearin to learn from these amazing single Christian creatives. This trailer tells you a bit about this podcast, and what you can expect in Season 4.

Can't wait until next week? Check out previous episodes, or head over to marybsafrit.com to see the latest and greatest blogs for single Christian creatives.

Welcome to the series wrap-up. The last four dynamite interviews from Ian, Amber, Nina, and Petra focused on work, but there were themes of story, communication, and connection running through all of them. They shared a ton of wisdom on how their faith informs their work, so go back and listen if you haven’t yet.

I’m going to shake things up a bit for this wrap-up, so I’d love your thoughts and comments on what style you like better… or if you like the variety. Today, I’m going to posit and explore a question that ran through all four episodes of this series. At the end, I’ll tie in how all of this helps you in your everyday life, but for the first part, I’d love to take the opportunity to dig in together.

The question: What is the role of story-telling in the age of information?

References for this episode in order of appearance: Tell it Slant by Eugene Peterson; The Two Towers film; "Jesus Is a Jew" by David Brooks; "On Fairy Stories" by J.R.R. Tolkien, "Stir the Imagination, One Sermon at a Time" by Abraham Cho; The Next Right Thing by Emily P. Freeman

Welcome to your oh-so-special surprise interview, and the final interview of Season 3. Petra E. Lewis is a ghostwriter, ghostblogger, publishing specialist, author, and “Midwife to Visionaries” who works with CEOs, thought leaders, entrepreneurs, and influencers.

Petra spent nearly two decades as a corporate communications writer and executive, primarily in financial services. After leaving Wall Street, Petra founded BookStar Business Ghostwriting + Development, a boutique consultancy that offers her clients a full suite of ghostwriting and (self-)publishing solutions. She has also continued her corporate communications work, as founder and principal of Stone Communications. To learn more, visit: www.petraelewis.com

Petra and I talk about her writing journey, the joys and struggles of being an entrepreneur, and hope. Petra has a lot of wisdom and I can’t wait for y’all to hear our conversation.

Today you’re going to hear from Nina Irizarry. Nina is a researcher, entrepreneur, and ethnographer in the marketing, art and design space with over 10 years of experience. Her extensive portfolio includes collaborations with both established and emerging artists, as well as fashion designers. She is also creative director and founder at Du Coeur magazine. Sign up for updates at ducoeurmagazine.com or follow on Instagram @ducoeurmag

Nina and I talk about Du Coeur, Nina’s journey as an entrepreneur, and how her faith factors into her work. I love how Nina’s mind works and her desire to take highly conceptual ideas and make them accessible for everyone.

Today you’ll hear from Amber Churn. Amber is from Atlanta; she’s a Yankees fan, a doula and a pregnancy options counselor, a women’s empowerment advocate, and the future wife of Trevor Noah. Amber shares her story of moving to New York to work in pregnancy care, and we talk about how to have conversations about sensitive topics with people of an opposing viewpoint.

Just a heads up, Amber works in pregnancy care, so there will be some mention of abortion. If you are listening to this and you are post abortive, please take care and reach out to a trusted counselor or hotline if you need to talk.

Welcome to the final series of the season. I have three dynamite conversations for y’all that focus on the theme of work. First up is Ian Quinlan. Ian is a New York based actor who has been acting from a young age. Recently, he has worked on a couple of exciting film and TV projects including The Long Road Home, Orange is the New Black, Gotham, and Sneaky Pete, acting opposite Bryan Cranston. He’s currently shooting with Netflix on the upcoming show, Jupiter’s Legacy. Ian has also worked as an actor, director, and writer for the ABC Discovers Talent Showcase for three years.

His notable Directing credits include: Assistant Director to Philip Seymour Hoffman in the workshop of Family for All Occasions at the Labyrinth Theater. As a child actor he was in the Lion King on Broadway as well as the film Music of the Heart, acting opposite Meryl Streep.

Ian and I talk about the uncertainties that come with being a working actor and the role Ian’s faith plays in how he approaches his work. I think you’ll really relate to what he shares, so let’s get to it.

Follow Ian on Instagram @allidoisquin

Welcome to the wrap-up episode for the series on dating. Dating came up in many of the episodes, but these three felt most suited to a series specific to dating. Definitely give them a listen if you haven’t already!

So, what are you in for today? You’ll hear a relatable story about a swing and a miss moment I had with a crush, insights from the three interviews, and how all of this helps you in your dating life. You’ll get a couple of protips from me, a person who has lived through and learned from unbearably awkward moments. And you’ll get some tips on how to take the pressure off and have grace for yourself in the wild west that is dating. Be sure to listen until the end for info on how to get your hands on “The Overthinker’s Guide to Dating,” a reflection guide designed to help you discern what you’re looking for and what might be holding you back.

Jenny is the Children’s Ministry Administrative Coordinator at a church here in the city. She is a pastor’s kid and cat mom to Timmy. In this episode, Jenny shares about her experience in the dating world as a plus sized woman. She is super honest in our conversation, and I’m excited for you to hear from her.

Today’s conversation features Sheila Enright. Sheila is a Chicago native who works as a writer and editor in New York. When not neglecting to return her library books, she can usually be found in the nearest thrift shop.

Sheila and I talk about her faith, humility, and how those play into how she views dating. I love how well Sheila articulates her perspective on these ideas, and the role of prayer in her life.

Welcome to the first interview of our next series for Season 3… Dating! We haven’t talked about dating all that much thus far, but this season, so many of my guests wanted to talk about dating experiences they've had. This series, you’ll hear from three awesome people about challenges they have faced in dating and how they are working through those.

First up, we have Mark Engle. Mark works in venture capital. He is a Seattle native, an opera lover, and an avid runner who lives on the Upper West Side. In this conversation, you’ll hear us talk about Mark’s path to New York, a challenging dating relationship he had a couple of years ago, and where he finds hope.

Welcome to the wrap up episode for the first series of Season 3. Throughout the past four interviews, we heard each of the guests tell stories of self-awareness and growth. They each come at it from different angles, so definitely give the interviews a listen if you haven’t already. This wrap-up episode includes an unsuitable tale, insights connecting the four interviews and a story from the Bible, and how all of that is relevant to your life.

More unsuitable stories and thoughts are at marybsafrit.com

Welcome to Episode 4. This is the final interview of the self-awareness and growth themed episodes, and I can’t think of a better person to round things out for us. Katie Hodge is a graphic designer at The Public Theater. She is a fellow North Carolina native and a graduate of App State University. She loves hiking, art, and cheez-its.

On this episode, Katie and I talk North Carolina, she shares a story of feeling unsuitable as a Christian woman and we talk about accepting and growing into who we were created to be. I always love talking to Katie because she is very intuitive and an incredibly deep thinker. I know you’re going to enjoy hearing from her, too.

Today you’ll hear from Jaquelynn Marie Gistarb. Jacq loves gallivanting and exploring, as well as ministering to girls of all ages, crafting, working out, baking, missions, serving, shopping, traveling and adding pink, bows or glitter to anything she comes into contact with. Jacquelynn embarked on a journey of faith a little over five years ago that has taken her from the West coast all the way to Manhattan to be a light in dark places. Jacq currently has three devotional websites to encourage women to shine for Jesus as Matthew 5:16 states. You can follow her many adventures with the Lord by reading her weekly devotional blogs at iSparkleforJesus.webs.com and link to iShine in Ministry and iSparkle Teens from her debut site or book her as your wedding planner, personal stylist or lifestyle concierge through her small business, A Little Fancy (alittlebitfancy.webs.com).

As you can tell from her bio, Jacq is a bundle of energy. She and I talk about her life in Las Vegas and her journey to get to New York and being single in the midst of a culture that values getting married young. Jacq is fast-paced, even by New York standards, but she talks about how she was able to grow in a more laid back, suburban environment.

Susan Yoomin Im is a 27-year-old Korean American entrepreneur, artist, and luxury, retail, & consumer goods professional. Susan is an avid reader, learner, arts-goer and Francophile and is passionate about community, mental health, and other various social causes. She has a deep love for God. Susan is Co-founder of Fifteen Degrees, Co. Ltd, a South Korea based beauty-tech R&D startup, Founder & Creative Director of ATEM, a skincare and wellness company, and consults in creative direction, branding and strategy for international and domestic brands. In her free time, she volunteers at the Museum of Modern Art, on the hospitality team at Trinity Grace Church and as a vocalist for the worship team.

Susan and I have a great conversation about mental health, healing, and faith. I appreciate how honest she was about her struggles with living a neurological disorder and the toll that took on her mental health, but how she has learned to accept that part of herself and continue to grow through some extremely difficult experiences. Just a heads up, Susan and I talk quite a bit about depression. There’s also a brief mention of suicidal thoughts and sexual assault. If you are experiencing or have experienced any of these things, please reach out to a trusted counselor or call the National Alliance on Mental Illness hotline. 800-950-NAMI (6264)

Follow Susan and ATEM on instagram @atemlife and @susan.yoomin.im . ATEM's website is atemnyc.com and Susan blogs at lettersbysoo.com

PJ is a composer, guitarist, and the founder of the Boardwalk Jazz band, New York’s only 21 piece band to feature four singers. PJ has headlined two national TV specials, been featured on the cover of Hot House Jazz magazine, headlined at the Four Seasons restaurant in New York, and landed two albums on the jazz charts. His band has a single coming out Dec. 6 and has a new nationally syndicated TV show (An American Christmas) airing this December, headlined by WCBS in NYC. You can pre-download Boardwalk Jazz Band's upcoming single HERE, and stay updated on all the show information at http://pjrasmussen.com/.

PJ talks about the challenges of being emotionally driven and male. We talk about how it’s affected his relationships with women, his view of himself, and how he has become aware of the positive aspects of being emotionally driven. He’s got a really interesting perspective, so let’s hear what he has to say.

Welcome to the season 2 finale! Huge thanks for being here for the wrap up episode. Man, I loved these interviews on relationships and community, which were specifically Episodes 2.6-2.9. Every single one of these guests brought their A game, so if you haven’t had a chance to listen yet, go back now and check them out.

For those of you who are all caught up, let me walk you through what you’re about to hear. We’re going to start off with a story of an experience in which I felt unsuitable in community. I’m then going to walk you through some deeper implications of what I experienced while tying in insights from the four interviews in this series. We’re going to talk about this idea of privilege and how it affects our relationships, and a story of how my guy Jesus interacted with a woman who was perceived as all sorts of unsuitable. At the very end, I’ll share how you can get my very free guide, “How to Make Friends without Hating Everything.”

The story from the Bible I reference is John 4:4-42

Shawn is a Christ follower, founder of Leaf, an app that helps you make group plans, co-host of a podcast called Two Black Sheep, and creative director at Allen & Ade. You can follow Shawn on Instagram @soates or @twoblacksheeplive. Leaf is available on the app store.

Shawn and I had a great conversation about his podcast, his experience growing up in a predominantly white community, the struggle to settle into his identity, and the power of having a consistent group of friends in good times and also in the midst of struggle and grief.

Today I’m sitting down with Cristina Spataro. Cristina is a Bronx-native, she is a child psychotherapist, and she loves old movies. You’re going to hear stories from Cristina about growing up in the Bronx, growing up with physical challenges, advocating for yourself and others in relationships, how difference builds empathy, and the value of limitations. I particularly appreciate how honest Cristina is about some really challenging experiences.

Hey everyone, this week my friend Rob and I talk about community within the church. Community is a bit of a buzzword, it sometimes feels like one of those words that has been used so much that we don’t necessarily think about what it means or what we mean when we use it. Maybe you hear the word community and feel all warm and fuzzy. Maybe you hear it and it gives you hives or makes you roll your eyes because you’ve experienced it as just one more thing you are obliged to do. If you’re in a season of feeling discouraged or disillusioned in community, I hope this conversation will resonate with you. Rob and I are going to talk through some good and some less positive experiences in church community, fitting in, and exclusivity. Here’s a little bit about Rob.

Rob was raised in both New England and New York yet somehow pronounces Rs and only argues about sports as much as a normal healthy person. He has lived in NY for several years now and works in financial services but his real passion is eating at the best restaurants in the city...that only have a single dollar sign in their Yelp ratings. He can usually be found complaining about how much he dreads running and running in Central Park.

Welcome to Episode 6, the first episode of our Unsuitable in relationship and community series. We're going to kick things off with Liz Smith.

Liz just finished her Masters in Library Science at Rutgers and is job hunting. She have worked in public relations and editorial positions for non-profit organizations including The New York Public Library and American Bible Society. She was also a member of The Blue Hill Troupe, a Gilbert & Sullivan operetta group, before becoming a Christ follower and church goer. Liz blogs as Missouri St Clair at wordpress.missouristclair.com and she also created a website dedicated to memoirs called memoirsataglance.com. Both those links are in the episode description.

Liz is going to share some serious wisdom about some of her past dating relationships, mental and emotional health in relationship, forgiveness and healing. Liz led a recovery group for women coming out of codependent relationships so she has a lot of great things to say about that as well.

This is a new thing I’m trying over here at Unsuitable with Mary B. Safrit, a little wrap up episode where I’m going to share some of my thoughts on the theme, some key take aways from the episodes you’ve heard so far, and give you some tools to help you engage with the series theme more deeply. If you haven’t listened to the interviews, I would definitely encourage you to do so. You’ll get the most out of this episode if you have the context of the previous episodes.

Elise Mas is a singer-songwriter based out of Brooklyn, New York. Her style has been described as melodic acoustic pop with R&B and folk influences—earnest melodies over contemplative chords as if read from a diary. Elise has a background in classical violin and R&B music production, mentored under Orange Factory Music (Jay Sean, Big Time Rush). She's also performed as a violinist for Rachel Platten. In this episode, Elise and I are going to cover a lot of ground. We talk about the ups and downs of her various experiences in the music industry, using her art to process relationships, juggling creative work and marketing, and how she integrates her faith into her work. I like how she reflects on challenges and mistakes so honestly.

Debra has been a published poet and writer since the year 2005 when her poem ‘My Routine’ was published in an anthology by Anchor Books a ForwardPoetry imprint based in the United Kingdom. She has since been published in at over 100 anthologies in Canada, India, Nigeria, South Africa, U.K, U.S, and other countries. You can find out more about what she’s up to on her website: www.valiantscribe.com; you can also follow her on Facebook at MsDebraAyis

In this episode, Debra starts off by sharing one of her poems. After that, we talk about her journey as a writer and as a Christian. I love how her faith infuses so much of our conversation and also her perspective on sharing her creative gift.

Christian is a Seattle born, midwest raised entrepreneur residing in Brooklyn. Founder and CEO of Swade incorporated, Christian has an extensive background in financial services and business management which he applies to both work and life alike. A resident of NYC for four years, he enjoys spending his time building his network, developing his hobbies and fellow-shipping with friends. You can follow Swade on Instagram @swadeapp and read more about it at www.swade.com Christian and I talk about Swade, working to prove something vs working out of faith, higher education, and identity.

Heidi is a copywriter, aspiring jazz singer, dad joke enthusiast, and ice cream fanatic. Heidi and I kick off Season 2 with a conversation on writing and singing, and the frustration of being underemployed in a career/productivity driven culture.

Season 2 drops July 2. Here's a sneak peek of what it's all about.

In the Season 1 finale, Mary B. is the interviewee. Enter into a conversation and a story about creative journey, unsuitability, faith, and singleness. Follow Mary B. on her blog at marybsafrit.com, and Instagram @maryb.safrit. On her website you can sign up for her newsletter, which will get you exclusive content, direct access to and updates on the blog, the podcast, and the book. You'll also get a book recommendation, and a music or podcast recommendation.

Giselle is a Jersey native, an architect, and just the best. In Episode 7, we talk race, sketchy guys, her life as a PK, and unsuitability. She's a natural story-teller who effortlessly balances humor and sucker punch profound wisdom.

Pablo is a freelance photographer (Instagram: @pablosawthese) who also works in hospitality and is in business school. In Episode 6, we talk unsuitable moments, growing up as a pastors kid in Argentina and the US, and why some youths end up leaving the church when they have the choice.

Spencer shares his story and some unsuitable moments on this episode of the Unsuitable podcast. . Buckle up, this dude has some stories.

My hilarious friend Rachel Scola works in background casting. We talk comedy/film, unsuitable moments, faith, and family.

Jennifer Bangs is an actor, writer, singer, and all around creative powerhouse. We talk about the show she has written and is performing, divorce, single parenthood, and friendship. Go see her show "She Bangs She Bangs" at Don’t Tell Mama on December 1. Info on her show is at shebangsshebangs.com , more info on Jennifer is at jenniferbangs.com

Liz is a boss with a background in linguistics and a side of touch football fierceness. In this episode, we talk baseball, living abroad, faith, and unsuitable moments.

Nana is a Ghanian-American author, editor, and fashion designer. She is also wise and has the best podcast voice. In this episode, we talk about being single, business and family, and Nana's faith journey. Check out her website http://www.nanabrewhammond.com and her fashion line https://www.exit14apparel.com