Coach Nikki B.: Recent Episodes
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Many people seem to think they can just hang out their shingle and be a professional coach. That might technically be true depending on where you live. However, working with someone as their personal coach is a privilege and responsibility that should be taken seriously. There are ethical standards to consider as well as specific core competencies underlying a professional coaching practice. I can personally say that the coach training I have received over the years has not only made me a better coach, it has also improved my personal life.
There are a number of reputable coaching education programs, and many are available via remote or online learning. . Still the cost for quality coach education can be daunting.
If you are a coach or prospective coach who wants to further your coaching education, here’s an opportunity for you.
The Association of Coaches and Coach Training Organizations (ACTO) is currently accepting applications for their 2024 Coach Training Scholarship.
This opportunity is available for new coaching students, as well as for students currently enrolled in a participating Accredited Coach Training Program. ACTO will be awarding 2 scholarships in the amount of $2,000 each. Applicants will need to meet specific criteria as outlined here on the ACTO website.
If you are interested, don’t wait on this! Completed scholarship applications must be submitted to ACTO by April 1,2024. Winners will be announced at the 2024 ACTO Conference in June. I am not personally involved at all with the scholarship. I’m just sharing because I love coaching and think we need more well trained coaches in the world. Why not you? 🙂
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I’ve been a coach since 2010, and over the past few years, I’ve had increasing opportunities to teach and mentor other coaches. Today, I can say I truly love whatI do as a coach, mentor, and instructor, but it definitely wasn’t always like this.
For way too long, I allowed perfectionism and imposter syndrome to chew me up and spit me out. I could never recognize the value I had to offer, and there was always a gnawing fear inside warning me that my clients, mentees, and students would surely see through me and realize what a fraud I was at any moment. That little voice saying, “Who do you think you are anyway?” Was always echoing in the back of my mind. Do you hear it too?
As we learn how to become coaches, we learn lots of new skills. More importantly, we also learn more about ourselves and our own thinking, and I’m immensely grateful for the many coaches and mentors who have supported me along the way. If you’re finding your own coaching journey to be long, winding, and full of self-doubt, I’d like to share a few lessons I’ve learned so far that I hope will be encouraging to you.
- You don’t have to be brilliant as a coach.I remember feeling so much pressure as a new coach. Of course, I had been taught well, and I intellectually knew that it wasn’t up to me to solve the client’s problem or come up with a solution, but there was still something inside me that wanted so badly to do a good job, to bring value to my clients, and (to be perfectly honest) to have my clients think, “Wow! She’s such a good coach.”
This kind of thinking was so hard for me to overcome. It was supported by everything in my life. I had been praised for being a good student as a kid, I was a homeschooling mom who took the education of my children very seriously. I was a leader in various community organizations and was the one people came to over and over again for a listening ear and sound advice. So, I naturally brought this same sense of dogged dedication to my coaching. It didn’t help.
I can’t say exactly when I was able to let go of this thinking. It has been a gradual process. Even now, I can sometimes catch myself starting to wonder about what a good answer or solution might be for a client. Thankfully, I can now catch myself doing this quickly and remember to focus on the client, their thinking, and their own unique relationship with the problem instead of focusing on the problem itself. This gives me the ability to be more objective and have a broader view of things which allows me to help my client see things differently and discover solutions that they may have never even thought of before.
- It’s OK to be not OK.To quote a line from Imagine Dragons, I’ve learned that it’s OK to make mistakes as a coach. Yes, it still bothers me to make mistakes, but I can forgive myself and get over it much more quickly than I used to.
As coaches, we know how important it is to respect our client’s humanity, but what about our own humanity? After all, coaches are human too. Learning to acknowledge and accept our own flaws can give us more empathy for our fellow flawed humans.
While it is OK to be not OK as a coach, it is also important that we be consistently working on ourselves, learning, and growing both personally and professionally. My long-time mentor, Marion Franklin, MCC, says that we must always be cleaning up our side of the street. We will never be perfect, but we can consistently seek to improve ourselves in some way. As for me, I’ve still got plenty of messy street corners to clean.
- Coaching really can be joyful.It took quite a while for me to be able to show up on a coaching call without feeling nervous and sometimes even sick at my stomach. Outside of my coaching, I liked to know what to expect, to have plans A, B, and C ready to go, and to have nice neat checklists to handle all the things that needed to be done. In other words, I was a control freak. Coaching calls made me feel completely unsettled and out of my element. To be really honest, they were downright scary.
Over the years, I have learned how to relax and really trust the coaching process and myself as a coach. Now, I show up on coaching calls genuinely curious to see what my client and I will discover together rather than feeling sick and self-absorbed. It’s a much more joyful and resourceful state to be in. Even more exciting is how much these coaching qualities like curiosity, acceptance, and resilience have spilled over into other areas of my life. I still harbor some controlling tendencies which can show up when I am tired or stressed, but I’m much more confident and open to not knowing, being spontaneous and having more fun overall.
Maybe you’re a coach who’s never had challenges like this. Maybe you’re reading this and shaking your head, wondering what must be wrong with me. That’s OK. This article wasn’t meant for you. I’m sharing these things here in hopes of encouraging newer or less experienced coaches who may be feeling discouraged and disheartened because no matter how hard they are trying to be good coaches, things just don’t seem to be clicking for them. I’m writing this to say, “Keep going. Keep learning and growing. You will find your way.”
What about you?If you’re a coach who finds yourself nodding along as you read this article, I’d love to have you join in the conversation. What are some of the challenges you’ve faced? What are the lessons you’ve learned along the way?
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Jodi L. Milner has been a member of our Wednesday Writers’ Whatchamacallit group for about a year and a half. During this time, it has been so much fun getting to know her and celebrating with her as she has published her first book, developed several amazing presentations and grown in her confidence as an […]
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Saying the word, “marketing” will usually trigger the fight or flight instinct in most of us. It seems that even though we love what we do and may even believe passionately in the value our work can have for others, we somehow get tongue-tied or bashful when it comes to actually letting other people know […]
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At my local writers’ critique meeting this month, we had a discussion about the best way to organize the digital files of our writing in progress. This hit home for me because I have been meaning to clean up my own digital files for quite a while now. Each writer has their own unique style […]
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This is such a great video about creative possibilities. Brad Herzog shares his views encouraging writers to Turn the mundane into the miraculous. I love Brad’s message because it is perfectly aligned with my own view that curiosity can be your best secret weapon as a writer. Don’t be so worried about what everyone else […]
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Each Wednesday, my friend, Annie Oortman and I host a free online writing group called the Wednesday Writers Whatchamacallit. One of my favorite things about doing this is helping to build a community for writers I care about. It’s always nice to know we aren’t alone, isn’t it? Along with community building, I also enjoy […]
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If you’ve been at this writing thing for a while, I’m guessing that you are constantly on the lookout for ways to improve your productivity. Sometimes, this means you need to focus on the bigger picture including taking better care of your health, shifting your mindset or boosting your creative energy. At other times, making […]
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A week or so ago, a friend of mine shared this TED talk from Anne Lamott in our Wednesday Writers Whatchamacallit Facebook group. I saw it a long time ago but had forgotten about it. Anne brings her wry humor to bear on topics such as the complexity of life, helping others, self-care, chocolate and […]
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A few days ago, my friend, Janice Ernest and I jumped on the phone to brainstorm about some of the success principles for writers that we have been addressing in our Write Foundations series. Be sure to check back over older posts here and also read what Janice has to say on her blog. We […]
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This is the third article in the Write Foundations series which I am co-blogging about with my friend, Janice Ernest, author of the Brocksport USA books. We are each sharing our own take on subjects that are really important for writers to consider, yet are often overlooked in favor of sexier topics like story structure, […]
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This article is the second in the Write Foundations series I am working on with my friend, Janice Ernest. She’s a “Publishing Mercenary” who helps writers get their books out of their head and into readers’ hands. We are discussing topics that are so important to writers but are often not given enough attention in […]
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