Audio Experiments: Recent Episodes
Tal Minear
This was a short story I wrote, recorded, and produced for Someone Dies In This Elevator - now that it's on the feed, I wanted to share it here too! I made it in a day, and I'm really proud of how it turned out!
Content warnings for horror and discussions of death. Transcript here.
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I published this on the Sidequesting feed on 03/16/2020, two days after my birthday when lockdowns were starting. I'm cleaning up the Sidequesting feed and removing it from there, but I didn't want this one to fully disappear. It's a small snapshot of a really rough time and a single good moment embedded in it. Two years later, on 02/13/2022, I still resonate with this. It's been a time, hasn't it?
TRANSCRIPT:
With this ongoing pandemic, it feels like the world is falling apart somewhat faster than it usually is. And when the solution is isolation, things get lonely. So I invite you to sit with me here, for a few minutes. We’re going to take a breath together, and try to relax for just a moment. I’ll talk about some unimportant things, and you don’t even need to listen if you don’t want to.
Right now, it’s raining in Southern California. It almost never rains here, so I always love it when it does. We’re getting almost a whole week of rain. Yesterday, I sat in my car and recorded the sound. It’s one of my favorite sounds, the noise of rain hitting the roof of my car. I love watching the droplets slide down the windshield. When I recorded this sound, sitting in my car, the drops were reflecting the clouds and the trees and the chain link fence I was parked next to, near the main road.
I think my cats also like the rain. They sit near the window and look out, marveling at the water falling from the sky. I think it’s really cute. I suspect that if they were actually out in the rain, they would like it less. I, for one, adore being out in the rain. When I was a kid, I would sprint outside as soon as there was something more than a drizzle, and run around in shorts and a hoodie, without any shoes on. These days, I’ll just go for a walk in my raincoat, but something about the rain always makes me happy.
In times like this, it’s hard to find happy things. But I try to go out of my way to look for them. They’re not always falling from the sky, like with the rain. I find happiness among my friends, with the various communities I’m part of, or sometimes, doing silly things alone in my apartment. Only my cats ever get to see those.
It’s important to deal with the bad things. It’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to be scared. A lot of us are pretty scared right now. But we’re going to get through this, and we’re going to do it together. I hope that in these extra unscheduled weeks where you don’t hear from me, you’re taking care of yourself, and the people important to you, too. Hang in there, friends. You'll hear from me soon enough.
Happy Halloween! Here's a scary story for you.
Content Warnings for memory loss, paranoia, and panic. Implied claustrophobia and kidnapping.
This story was written, produced, and performed by Tal Minear.
Transcript:
I wake with a start in an unfamiliar room. Small, but clean and tidy. Textured metal walls. A locked door. That’s… concerning. A note on the calendar simply says “day one.” I can’t have been here long, but I can’t remember why I’m here.
Food slides in through a slat in the door. My stomach rumbles. Is it safe to eat? I don’t know. There’s so little I know. This room has secrets. What have these walls seen?
The texture is odd. Patterned scratches…? Tally marks.
Tally marks? Oh no.
Metal flakes under my nails. Oh no.
Oh-no-oh-no-oh-no. Five ten twenty fifty multiply by five it is not day one IT IS NOT DAY ONE
I scream. It echoes. Door opens. Not day one. Hands pinned, force fed, not day one.Room spins, world darkens, not day one. Not... day... one… … …
I wake with a start in an unfamiliar room.
Happy Halloween Month! Here's a short scary story for you!
Content warning for paranoia.
This was written, performed, and produced by Tal Minear.
Transcript: There is something wrong. There has been something wrong. You’ve tried to figure it out for months but all you have to show for your work is a constant feeling of unsettledness. What is missing? When you meet with your friends, you swear they’re exchanging looks behind your back, but you never catch them at it. The waiter at the restaurant seems worried. The clerk at the grocery store stammers. Your cat will sit in your lap but she will not purr. Are you being followed? No. The door is locked. People start to reference events you don’t remember, inside jokes you seem to be a part of. You cannot laugh. You focus on winning your friends over. Smile at the waiter. Joke with the clerk. Sooth the worries. Make the cat purr. Everything’s fine. There’s nothing wrong. Everything’s fine. There’s nothing wrong. Everything is fine. Nothing’s wrong... Except you.
This was made based on the prompt "Eulogize an object you have lost." It was written, performed, and produced by Tal Minear.
Transcript: We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of the kitchen scissors. I know the kitchen scissors have touched all of our lives. Everyone has the place they saw these scissors last. I know we will all hold that location dear, filled with the memories of our time with the kitchen scissors. It was truly life changing when they arrived. Endlessly helpful and optimistic, it seemed like there was nothing that these kitchen scissors couldn’t do. We all know how much they liked to help with cooking and baking, but even when the random craft project or home DIY even took place they were always there to lend a hand. The day will be a little less bright without them here to see the sunrise. In these moments we must remember how brief life can truly- WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY WERE UNDER THE COUCH THIS WHOLE TIME?
Time traveling to a former version of myself and sending a dispatch. This was written, performed, and produced by Tal Minear.
Transcript: Hey Tal, it’s you from the future. Don’t mind the mask. It’s uh… for time travel reasons. Definitely. Don’t worry about it. The future is… great. Yeah. Everything’s fine. You’ve got a lot to look forward to. Listen, I’m just here to tell you that tomorrow is the kindergarten entrance test and when they show you the color orange you’re gonna say yellow and it’s gonna stick with you for the rest of your life and you should brush up on your colors now. Look, we still mix up yellow and orange these days and I know it’s your fault - yes you right now. Go practice. Find some crayons and nail that shit down. Okay? Good. Oh, they still let you into kindergarten dont worry about that. I said everything was fine!
I'm Tal Minear, a voice actor for audio drama and beyond! Need an annoyed teen, conniving antagonist, friendly kid, adventurous hero, worried parent, or something else? Get in touch! at https://talminear.com
I wrote this for a local storytelling event and recorded this practice performance. It's about steam tunnel paintings. Don't tell the deans ;)
Transcript here. This episode was written, performed, and produced by Tal Minear.
A podcast for my current commute - from bed to dining room table. This episode was written, performed, and produced by Tal Minear.
Transcript:
Good morning! No, don’t hit the snooze button I know you’ve already done it once and it is literally 7:30. You know, the time you’re supposed to log in to work? Yeah. Come on. Get out of bed. There we go. Welcome to a podcast for your morning commute.
Your weather today is that the apartment is 73 degrees and about to be lit by two lamps and a string of christmas lights. The only change in this forecast is additional lighting when you go to the kitchen for tea.
Today’s affirmation, as pulled from a deck of cards, reads “Make Space For It.” We both know what you’re avoiding, and you should take this as a sign to deal with it.
Today’s mood, as pulled from your last reblogged tumblr post, is “why are we still here? just to suffer? every day i get emails.” Yep, that’s a mood. Good luck with the emails.
Your desktop should be booted up by now, so I will leave you to go log in. Thank you for joining us on this commute from the bedroom to the living room. Tune in tomorrow for the same thing, as always.
Sometimes there's a big fire nearby and also a pandemic going on and you're still expected to show up in the office at 8am like always.
This was written and recorded by Tal Minear.
Transcript:
I wrote this poem two days ago on a Tuesday morning, in the office at work on a day that felt very apocalyptic. It's made more to be read from text, but I thought I would make a little audio version. It’s called Tuesday morning.
I am tired of waking up to a smokey orange sky.
And that it is normal.
In the office, coworkers discuss the ash on their windshields.
We should not be here.
I kick myself for forgetting my N95.
My bag only has cloth masks.
The air is hazardous.
And that is normal.
I wonder if it is safe to eat lunch in my car.
We should not be here.
The office smells like a campfire.
Even though both fires are miles away.
Both.
That is normal.
I text friends nearby to check in.
We should not be here.
My job expects productivity.
I expect survival.
Is that asking too much?
Going about my day while the world is sick and burning.
One phrase repeated in my mind
We should not be here.
Sometimes your brain goes "I wonder how a time-traveling steampunk train would sound" and you just have to sit down and make it.
Anyway, this is how I think a time-traveling steampunk train would sound.
On having a bad memory and too many things.
This was written, recorded, and produced by Tal Minear.
Transcript: I’m really forgetful. I’m bad at putting things away and remembering where I put them. The best way for me to know where something is is to look around and see it, so things pile up. Often literally. I want things around so I can see them and remember where they are. Though, sometimes, I just forget to put things away. Every flat surface acquires objects. Reminders of what to do. Reminders of what’s already been done. Reminders that I have something to make a task easier, so that I remember I don’t need to do it the hard way. It’s visual noise, everything on every surface, and when I see it everyday it fades to the background. The pile of clothes on the chair. The stack of books on the table. The letters on the kitchen counter. The pill bottle on the desk. It’s normal. It’s how things are. Until I finally get around to tidying, and then I notice the noise is gone.
I really want to hug my friends.
This episode was written and recorded by Tal Minear.
Transcript: I wish you were here. If you were, I’d be running right at you to give you the biggest of hugs. I really want to give you a hug, but, well, there’s a problem - I am here and you are there. Way over there. The precise distance isn’t too important, I suppose, because you could be 6 feet away right now and that wouldn’t cut it. That’s not hugging distance. I can wave across the sidewalk, across the states, across the whole damn world. But I don’t want to just wave. I want to hug you. So I guess I’ll just have to make do. Consider this a little audio hug. A smile. An embrace The feeling of warmth. The expression of friendship. But most importantly, you being here with me. Someday you’ll be here with me.
In a rare break from sound design, here's a piece of music I made! This is the soundtrack my brain plays when I'm feeling anxious, usually for no good reason at all.
(Anxiety was composed by Tal Minear using Garageband.)
A short story about a long ride. This was written, recorded, and produced by Tal Minear.
Transcript:
We live and die on the never ending carousel, around and around and around and around. It keeps spinning, indifferent to the happenings on its surface. The horses go up and down, uncaring if anyone is riding atop them. The music plays, unaware of our own preferences. Some people say we should destroy the never ending carousel. If it were broken, they say, maybe we would be free. But the never ending carousel cannot stop, will not stop. You can only stop the people on it. You can only break them. The never ending carousel doesn’t care about us, but we care about it. We defend the never ending carousel from the people who want to destroy it, because it is our home. We live and die on the never ending carousel, around and around and around and around, and we call it Earth.
I wrote this at the end of a no good very bad week. Really, don't listen to me - I'm just being a grump.
This episode was written and recorded by Tal Minear.
Transcript:
Things will be better tomorrow, they said.
Today is just bad.
Tomorrow will be fine.
And then a day passes.
Things will be better tomorrow, they said.
Today is just bad.
Tomorrow will be fine.
And then a day passes.
And another.
And another.
Tomorrow will be fine, they said.
But tomorrow never comes.
I've distilled the entire month of April (as I experienced it) into one short little clip. You can't hear the internal screaming (because it's, well, internal), but I promise you it's there.
This episode was recorded and produced by Tal Minear.
Tal leaves a voicemail to their middle school self.
This episode was written, recorded, and produced by Tal Minear.
Transcript:
Hi Tal. It’s me, from the future. I just want to leave you a little message, because I know what you need to hear right now. You wouldn’t recognize me if we met in person. At this moment, you think you’re never going to cut your hair short or dye it something permanent. You think you’re never gonna get a tattoo. Right now, you’re scared of so many things. Eventually, those things will get a little less scary. Don’t get the wrong idea though, future you is still winging it just as much as always. I don’t think that’s ever gonna change. We still have a lot in common, though. I know you dream of having a pet cat - well, I have three of them. I still only wear converse high tops, or sometimes boots. I still hate red plaid skirts just as much as always. I’m always still daydreaming - just at work now, not at school. Those stories you have in your head? They keep coming. Keep writing them down. Things aren’t great right now for you right now. You’re not sure it’s gonna be better, but you have so many hopes for the future nonetheless. And I want you to know to hold on to that hope. Cause you’re not gonna believe where we end up.
This episode was written, recorded, and produced by Tal Minear.
Transcript:
Hello and thanks for tuning in to this one minute weather report. It’s bright and sunny outside. This is southern California, it’s almost always bright and sunny outside - I’m sure this isn’t a surprise. The exciting weather reports are for rain. Or those days of Santa Ana winds. Or that one time, years ago, when a tiny tornado flipped a car over. It’s dark and cloudy inside. This is my apartment, it’s almost always dark and cloudy inside - I’m sure this isn’t a surprise. The exciting weather reports are for smiles. Or those days when I clean. Or that one time, years ago, when you were here with me.
This episode was written, recorded, and produced by Tal Minear.
Transcript:
And welcome to the steam tunnels! It’s this hot practically everywhere in the tunnels; there’s a couple of places where it’s even warmer than here, actually. It’s kind of nice though, because it keeps the spiders away - the one section of the tunnels that’s actually cool has a bunch of spiderwebs. It’s very fun to walk though. Yeah, that box fan is always there. Nobody knows why. We just don’t mess with it. Now, make sure to watch your head as we walk though. Some of the pipes on the ceiling are really low. Make sure to check how hot a pipe is before you touch it - there’s a couple of pipes down here that will burn you. These tunnels are a maze, so make sure you stay close and don’t go wandering off. Our first stop is this way, to a mural called Faith. It’s part of a series of paintings by an artist called…