Mindset Matters: Recent Episodes
Riley Jensen
Riley Jensen (Twitter: @rileyjensen) has been playing or coaching high school and collegiate football for more than 27 years. Over the past (7) years he has been part owner and co-founder of the Mountain West Elite sports camps which operate in several states.
He started as a quarterback at an NCAA D1 school (USU), was named 1st team junior college All-American QB (Snow College), coached football at a Division 1 program (NC State), and has coached several successful Salt Lake City area high school teams (Cottonwood, Olympus, Alta). Riley was recently inducted in to the Snow College Athletics Hall of Fame (October, 2017).
Riley earned a B.A. from Utah State University and completed his MS in Sport and Exercise Psychology at the University of Utah. He interned with Utah’s football and tennis teams, and currently works with Westminster Basketball, Rowmark Ski Academy, Peak Ski Academy, Woods Cross Volleyball, Alta Football, and various individual athletes.
Riley has a unique enthusiasm and ability to teach the concepts of resilience, confidence, positivity, grit, and personal mastery. He is available to athletes at all levels, all sports, for coaches, organizations, and businesses. He is perfect for motivational seminars designed to help individuals, teams, and businesses reach their maximum potential.
Riley currently lives in Salt Lake City, Utah. When Riley is not working, he enjoys hiking, playing tennis, coaching football, and time spent his wife Georgann, and their two children Alexis and Jack.
Drawing from the principles of Self-Determination Theory, we uncover the importance of relatedness and its role in building confidence. The draft horses' ability to work together, train with one another, and rely on the support of their handlers highlight the crucial role of social connections in bolstering our self-belief.
Over the past 7 years, I have worked with high profile athletes who deal with adversity, difficulties, triumphs, and criticism. The darkside of being a famous/successful athlete is darker than you can even imagine. I am shocked at the ferocity of fans and observers.
In a world full of athletes that curse, overreact, and melt down in competition, it feels more and more like the ability to handle adversity or a loss is a super power. One’s ability to control his thoughts and his reactions, just may be the most efficient way to become great.
According to a study from Bellevue University in Nebraska, men give nicknames as a way of being affectionate without compromising masculinity. So, in other words, men can keep their man card by affectionately giving nicknames to other men.
We can literally turn any loss into a win by focusing on the bravery and the courage of the moment. Good parents, good coaches, and good leaders know this secret: If you place value on the bravery and the courage that it took to play under pressure, they will be more likely to do it again, and again, and again. And more times than not, fortune favors the brave and the courageous.
Be like field corn. Get up today and grow where you’re planted. You don’t need anyone’s permission to be great. And you certainly don’t have to wait for someone to bestow the title of greatness on you before you can perform. Just go and do it. Do it today. Do it for you. Do it for the sake of being great.
So what can we learn from a robbery, a pandemic, and an effort to get better? There are a few things we can learn.
1) The great one’s have a plan. They don’t have a “sorta”plan, they don’t have a “maybe” plan, and they certainly don’t have no plan. What is your plan? Every great individual, every great team, and every great organization that I know will go through some sort of adversity this year. And they have a plan for it. Many teams even have things written down for when things get emotional. Things like, who will shoot the penalty kick. Will we go for two points or not? Or, what is our game plan if we are up in the game with 4 minutes to go?
To heal faster use these 4 tools. 1) Take personal responsibility for your healing. 2) Use Creative Imagery 3) Have a great team around you. 4) Use positivity and optimism to your benefit.
3 ways to combat the Covid-19 Blues
1--Routines, win the morning! Win the evening (gratitude journal) 2--Be intentional and deliberate with the shows you watch, the items you put your energy into. 3--Noting. Using a psychological technique called noting to help you though some difficult times.
Sleep is the easiest way to increase performance in the short term. How much sleep do you get each night? How much do you think you should get? Listen to this episode for further insight.
You've heard of growth mindset and fixed mindset. But do you know how to cultivate it? Listen to this podcast for tips on how to develop your Growth mindset.
What if? Why? These two phrases are negative in nature. How do we change our language to reflect a positive attitude? This episode can help.
Self Care is key to our success. As I am observing the NBA playoffs today, it seems that these guys are doing a great job of taking care of themselves mentally over the course of these 8 games plus the playoffs. What could you do to make your "bubble" experience better? The following episode offers tips to improve your mental and physical health
Change the phrase, "I'm so nervous" to "This is exciting!" Change the phrase "what if?" to "even if." Change the phrase "Why?" to the phrase "Why not?"
Self-deception, awareness, cognitive dissonance. In this episode we discuss how important it is to see things for what they are.
What is your desired outcome? What is your process to get there? The great one's understand that the daily processes are more important than the daily outcomes. Be hyper focused on your process and the outcomes will take care of themselves. Champions act like champions long before they are champions.
What are you doing to produce? Production is about putting in the work. You can read all the books you want. You can listen to all the podcasts you want. But if you want to be good, you need to produce. What could you do to be more productive today?
What's your plan? Do you know? I have people ask me all the time what the biggest mistake people make in the mental game is...and i almost always respond that it's when people don't have a plan. All the great one's face adversity at one point or another, and they are fantastic at having a plan for when adversity hits.
Are you getting sucked into the drama triangle? Do you have friends that play the victim, the rescuer, or the prosecutor on a constant basis? Draw clear and strong boundaries. When needed, let your dramatic friends go. It is important to clear the noise when you are trying to perform at the highest level possible.
Not all of your thoughts are true. Be aware of the false mental chatter that sometimes take control of you. Ask yourself 3 questions about your thoughts. 1) Where did this thought come from? 2) Is it true? 3) How is it working for me. If any of those questions are problematic, throw out the mental chatter, right now!
Start. Start today. Start with your hands trembling. Start with your heart beating through your chest. Start with your hands sweating. Please, just start. The is joy and happiness and success at the end of this road, all you have to do is start.
Coach Wells was kind enough to stop by for an interview on Mindset, Mental Toughness, and Resiliency. His insight was thoughtful, powerful, and impactful. Thank you for stopping by...
A fantastic interview with my former teammate and friend, Ricky Brumfield. I can't wait for you to listen!
“2 aspects of leadership. You’ve got to build trust & get results. If you are not clear about what you are after it can be confusing...It takes clarity, accountability, & support.” —Morgan Scalley
“This game, whether we played in high school, college, or in the pros…it teaches all of us what we can do what we THOUGHT we couldn’t do.” —Jesse Sapolu
Is it hard to establish culture? “Culture is only hard to establish when you deviate from it.” –Derek Jones
“If you don’t make it your freshman or sophomore year, the worst thing you can do is quit. You just gotta work harder. “ –Jon Judkins
“It’s the story of cows & buffaloes. When a storm come a cow runs away from a storm. A buffalo always runs into the storm...we’ve got to be like the buffaloes & lean into the storm.” –Randy Rahe
Have players changed? “Yes. I approach things differently. D1 kids have such high expectations. Some are less willing to work & wait for the reward or results. Sometimes that can be challenging.” –Lance Anderson
On Mental Toughness: “Doing what you’re supposed to do when you’re supposed to do it. To be mentally tough I gotta go to work and get things done.” –Jay Hill
“You never know who’s watching. Every day is a job interview. Always be at your best. You never know who’s watching. You learn a lot about being a pro through sport.” –Barret Peery
“I talk athletes about thinking through all different scenarios & how to handle it. We try & help them mentally prepare for things so they don’t make split second decisions that may be incorrect.” Paul Pilkington
“We want to show players in our program what mental toughness is. Put them in and show them situations where they can be and are mentally tough.” –Paul Peterson
Mental Toughness: “To be able to stay consistent in effort throughout adversity. Sometimes coaches focus too much on outcome, and not enough on process.” –Jeremiah Larsen
“Intended or not, there is a culture in some college football programs that you can’t have fun. It’s based in fear. It’s unfortunate. I don’t think there’s any truth to it at all.” –Fesi Sitake
“I always wanted to win. I was willing to do the work. I had a cold, & had a decent meet. I told myself, ‘that was a PR for having a cold.’ Always feeling successful was a key.” —Tiffany Hogan
“In my opinion, these are the smartest group of players we’ve ever had. They need to know ‘why’ we’re doing this. If you don’t have that solidified in your mind, athletes can smell that pretty quick.” 2020 Mindset Leadership
“Being able to do your best in difficult circumstances. Being able to bring the best out of your talent when things are hard. Find a way to contribute & get the best out of the moment.” – @ErlingScott
“You can control your focus & effort & where you put energy. I was surrounded by Hall of Famers like Marshall Faulk, Isaac Bruce, and Torry Holt. You can overload yourself comparing yourself to others.” @KevinCurtis80
Episode #184 Interview with Roeland Brateanu, Head Coach, University of Utah Men's Tennis. #energy #enthusiasm #NCAA #mindset #mentality #mentaltoughness #sportpsychology #leadership #toughness #tenacity #success #confidence
Check out this interview with one of the best skiing coaches in the country. He has coached numerous world cup and olympic skiers. We know you are going to love it!
Another great interview with another great coach! Listen in for great insights from Coach Mary Kay Amicone!
This interview with Coach Velaida Harris of Weber State University is one of my all-time favorites. She speaks to so many important things about the mindset of an athlete. We are excited to watch her future success.
Use words like Brave and Courageous this week when you describe any failure of your own or someone else’s. For every time you fell short, notice how it was brave or courageous. Remind yourself that it takes guts to do what you did. Be authentic. Whatever your field, whatever your endeavor, whatever your career… do the best you can with what you have. Write a book, start a podcast, write an article, run a marathon, compete in a triathlon, or apply for the job that is way out of your league. Start today. Embrace that you don’t feel good enough.
Take your time as you learn these techniques and trust the process. Not all anxiety and stress needs to be considered a negative experience. A key component to anxiety is understanding it, and harnessing it for your own good. The used today have been proven effective with elite and world class athletes around the world. The key is practice and patience. As you get better at these skills, you will see performance increase, as your anxiety decreases.
Today we will use a visualization of walking into a pantry of mental chatter. We will take our thoughts off of the shelf and examine them, to find out if they are true. Generally asking ourselves three questions can help us determine if we keep a thought or throw it out. Where did that thought come from? Is it true? How is it working for me? If any of these three questions are problematic, throw them out!
A significant way to battle anxiety and stress is to stay in the moment. So often we fly into the future with “what if?” thoughts in the future that cause us anxiety, when really we could substitute thoughts of “even if” to reduce stress. We also seem to fly into the past with thoughts of “woulda, coulda, shoulda” that seems to give us feelings of guilt. The tool we give today is to stay in the moment, accept things as they are. Using questions like NBA (what’s my Next Best Action) or WIN (What’s Important Now?” can help us quit our novice time travel, and focus on the present moment.
In today’s world, may people talk about “controlling the controllables”. However, most of us don’t know what these items are! Today, let’s learn the difference, and learn how to leg go of those things that we can’t control that don’t really matter anyway.
According to the book “What to Say When You Talk to Yourself.” 77% of all self-talk is negative or counterproductive. Wait, what? Did you hear me? It’s true. 3 out of every 4 things you say to yourself are negative or counterproductive? Do you believe me? Why or why not?
We are living in trying times. Never in the history of the world have we seen and had to adjust to something like this. We are jostled, we are uncomfortable, we are a little bit fearful, and we are being forced into some different habits. Let’s make those habits meaningful. Let’s use these habits to make believers out of others. Let’s make our daily routine impactful to ourselves and to others! You got this. We got this!
Remember, it’s never as bad as it seems, and it’s never as good as it gets. We want you to be part of the solution, not part of the problem. You got this. Ground yourself. Breathe. We are in this together!
Today let's talk specifically about breathing. We are going to walk through some breathing exercises to help reduce anxiety and stress. As you go throughout today, use 3 deep breaths to help control and manage your difficulties.
Who are the people who inspire you? Do they know that they inspire you? Have you let them know? You should. They will appreciate it, and it will make a difference in your life.
Science continues to show the effects of sleep on all performance. In the journal for pediatric medicine, they have demonstrated that sleep loss has direct correlation on sports injury. It shows that a person who averages 6 hours of sleep per night is almost 4 times as likely to get injured in sport than someone who gets 9 hours of sleep per night! Similarly those who sleep less than 5 hours are 4.5 times more likely to have a cold than those who sleep 7 hours per night.
Sometimes the words we use matter. In this article I address counterfeit words that can drag us into a negative mindset.
When you fear. Make sure to think of all the training you have put into your craft. My guess is there have been a lot of lonely nights, some blood, some sweat, some tears, and some triumphs. Let those triumphs and trainings marinate in your mind. Trust those experiences. Have Faith in your abilities. Doubt your doubts. There are good things coming.
The science is clear, without rest and recovery…you are more likely to get fatigued. There is an increase of stress and tension. Overall, you will process things slower. All of these can lead to decreased performance. It can also lead to injury and illness. And we all know that in sport and in the workplace, your best ability is availability. Make sure you know and learn how to rest and recover. It can make all the difference.
You need to pick someone who is further along the path to mentor you. You need to find someone who is behind you on the path to teach and advise, and you need to find an equal to compete with to help you to reach deeper within.
Seek the good. Just like your diet, garbage in the body means garbage out. When you seek and find and put positive things into your mind, the result is going to be better self-talk. The result of better self-talk will be better confidence. The result of better confidence is better outcomes. And when you start seeing better outcomes, your motivation will feed itself.
Add an intention of enthusiasm to everything you do today. If you are working out, put a little more enthusiasm into it. If you are working, put a little more enthusiasm into it. If you are playing, put a little more enthusiasm into it. It will not only change you, it will change those that are around you for good.
In essence, the phrase “go first” allows you to practice being uncomfortable. Getting comfortable being uncomfortable is one of the best ways to build confidence. The phrase “go first” allows you to be authentic, vulnerable, and courageous. Going first causes people to want to follow you and to work with you. The phrase “go first” will allow you to have a positive influence on your teammates, your co-workers, and your family. Going first creates a successful mindset. And if you can control your mind, you can control your performance.
In times of adversity, there are many places to turn. There are quotes, scriptures, and books written about this subject that can be tremendously helpful. Seek them out. Read them. Embrace them. They help. All of them.
God can’t steer a parked car. So start driving. There is help, there is guidance, there are good things to come. Trust your training. Trust your gut. It may be the very thing that keeps your wings from being weighed down with mist and humidity, and the very thing that gets you to where you need to be.
Come home with your sword or on it. In other words, be all in with your actions! Leave nothing for the journey back.
Work hard at being good to yourself with good self talk habits. It can make all the difference.
Here are a few things that I think we can control. Attitude, effort, enthusiasm, nutrition, sleep, preparation, and maybe most importantly, we can control our reaction to our circumstances. We can control our breathing. We can control how we frame our situation. And ultimately, we have control of our gratitude. How cool is that?
That’s it. It’s that simple. Control what you can, and let go of the rest.
Gratitude has a direct correlation to self-confidence. Confidence is directly related to performance. In other words, being grateful can improve performance.
Your daily thoughts have a negative or a positive impact on you every day. Choose your words wisely.
The 40% rule is not just a motivational statement. There is science to back it up. We are much more physically and mentally capable than we allow ourselves to be. In study after study, this is proven. In one study, researchers found that if you give a subject a placebo tablet, and claim that it has caffeine in it, the subjects were able to lift significantly more weight than those who were really given caffeine.
So today, when you are struggling. Get moving and start working. When it’s tough, keep going. If it’s difficult, persevere. If you feel like quitting, press on. When they tell you that you can’t do it, ignore them. This particular storm that you are facing may be the exact reason that you reach your full potential. Face the storm, take a deep breath, shoulders back, and chin up. You’ve got this.
They knew that whether the criticism was positive or negative, they just needed the information so they could get better. The great one’s always want the info. Some coaches, and some bosses for that matter, are better at delivering criticism than others. Why do you care? I ask athletes all the time what the difference is between constructive criticism and criticism. Do you know? The difference is simply HOW YOU RECEIVE IT.
If you are leading a team, or if you are coaching yourself, know what the strengths and weaknesses are. If you are the coach, put the players in positions to succeed based on their strengths. If you are your own coach, make sure that you are focused on developing your strengths as much, if not more, than you focus on your weaknesses. Finding these talents can contribute greatly to the success of your team, and more importantly, to your own performance.
The great one's break down complex subjects and tasks into simplified parts. How have you simpilfied lately? How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Don't overanalyze, get to work.
When was the last time you took inventory about how you talk to yourself? What did you think? Are you positive with yourself? Are you patient with yourself? Recent studies reveal interesting feedback as to what you say when you talk to yourself.
What do you want to do? Why do you want to do it? How are you going to start? These are great questions that can lead to great performance. The answers can unlock performance.
Are you getting enough sleep? Chances are that you aren't. It's also important to be consistent with your sleep habits? Make the change today!
I was involve in a car accident last week. I tried really hard not to stay in the suck. Sometimes it's hard not to stay in the suck. Sometimes you gotta give yourself a time limit.
What you are focusing on matters. What do you focus on each day? The Good? The Bad? There has never been a better time to be alive, and there has never been a better time to seek out good things on the internet, in books, and through connections to social media. Find the good, be the good. You could make all the difference.
While I didn’t know Ken Ravizza like others did, I still feel the sting of this loss. I read about him in my textbooks while I was in school in the field, I heard about him from my peers, and when I finally met him in January of 2017, he was everything that all my peers had told me he was. He was kind, he was funny, he was authentic, he was intelligent, and he was a delight to be around.
Great interview today with para archery athlete Eric Burkette of the US National ParaArchery Team. So many good nuggets in this podcast. MUST listen for anyone in sport or in business.
When is the last time you took pride in the area around you? When is the last time your cleaned up your space? It can make a difference. Start. Start small. Start today. It can make all the difference.
When is the last time you thought about why you do what you do? When is the last time you thought about where you came from and where you are and where you want to go? Are you as hungry as you used to be? If you aren't this podcast may help you to understand what you need to do.
Even if you don't think you are in sales, you are. What message are you sending to other people? It is the message you would want to send? What could you change about the message you are sending? Your body language helps. Start with your body language.
Serving and being dedicated to others is a great trait to have. In fact, I had one person describe service as a divine paradox. They told me that the more your serve, the more you get back in return. The more you receive in return, the more you want, and then, in turn, you want to serve more. In essence, this divine paradox becomes selfish in nature: meaning, that it becomes self serving to serve and dedicate ourselves to others because we know that we will receive more than we give.
Were your memories of your last trip to Disneyland more about how expensive it is? How long the lines were? How hot it was? How trivial some of the rides seem? Or were your memories about how fun it was to go to Disneyland? Was it fun to see your kids expressions? Was it fun to ride the rides you rode as a kid? Think about it, what was your mindset?
There’s a real power to this. I often let athletes know that it is hardly ever large and drastic measures that change performance, rather, small and intentional changes are usually the cooperates of major performance improvements. Getting 1% better is a key to this mindset.
One of the concepts that I taught while I was in Colorado Springs at the Olympic Training Center is the power of the transition word, but… Sometimes as an athlete, or even just as a human being, it is really difficult to get to a positive attitude when something negative happens. Life is not all glitter, rainbows, unicorns, and marigolds. So the power of the transition word “but…” is important. It is important because it can take you from a negative to a productive mindset. Once we get to a productive mindset, it is much easier to leap to a positive mindset. So, an example of using this transition word as a tool goes as follows. “Man this workout sucks, but…. I know that if I give this workout my best effort it’s going to lead to improved performance at my next event.” Or “This meeting is so annoying, but…I know that there are some key takeaways that I could use to better prepare myself for the work I will be doing in the next two weeks.”
What is a tree that you could plant for others that you may never see the results? I truly believe that if I could give the world a gift, it would be the gift of doing the right thing, just because it’s the right thing. Perhaps you could do something today that would be the right thing, even if you get no praise, payment, or accolades for it. What could you do? Do it. It is the right thing to do.
How is your work/life balance doing? What are you doing to course correct? What sort of examples are you following? Make sure you take inventory from time to time.
What is it that you think is too late? Too late to start your business? Too late to go back to school? Too late to be what you ought to be? I explore the possibilities in the next podcast.
What is the message that you are sending to others? What is the message you are sending to yourself? Do you think about it? What are you doing to make sure that the messages you are sending have the intended impact? Listen to this podcast and challenge yourself to do a little bit better...
What is it that you believe? Why do you believe what you believe? Have you taken time to examine why you believe what you believe?
Here is a list of ten things that make people pro’s in their own space. Pick three of these today and work on them. 1—Pro’s are competent. They are good at what they do, and they have the skills and knowledge to do their job well. 2—Pro’s are reliable. They show up on time, and they are ready at any time for the next task. 3—Pro’s are honest. They mean what they say and they say what they mean. 4—Pro’s have principles. They live every day within these principles to maximize their performance. 5—Pro’s respect others. All people matter to a great pro. 6—Pro’s have a love of learning. They are always up on the latest and greatest techniques, and they love to perfect their craft. 7—Pro’s are positive. They aren’t locker room lawyers, pleading their case to everyone about how they are being robbed. Rather, they are mature adults. They have a plan, and they work the plan every day. 8—Pro’s are good teammates. They have an innate want to mentor and to be mentored. They are great coaches and they also love to be coached. 9—Pro’s are focused. They know how to stay in the moment. When they are at work, they are at work. When they are with friends, they are equally present. When they are with family, they set their phones down and enjoy the interaction. 10—Pro’s listen. They have a great talent for extracting the information that matters. They have to be good listeners to get this information.
Today, do something that makes you feel super uncomfortable. Start reading that book. Start a podcast. Write an article. Start that company. Or give that compliment that is so needed. Give it up and let go, even if it is for one day. It might just be the momentum that starts you on the path that you deserve, the path that you want, and the path that was created specifically for you!
Do the lonely work. Start today. Just because you deserve good things doesn’t mean they are going to give it to you. You have to go and take what’s yours. Usually, being capable of taking what is yours takes place during those lonely hours of sweat, blood, tears, and exhaustion. It takes place when no one is looking. It takes place during a lonely session where no one is watching.
Because our mindset is so important, we need to realize that our attitudes not only have an impact on those around us, but they impact us in a serious way. If you indulge in sarcasm, put downs, pessimism, and self-deprication…stop! Stop right now. Put those thoughts and attitudes aside. They aren’t good for anyone, and they are contagious.
Be fully present with someone. Today when you meet with someone, spend time really engaging with that person. Listen, open your heart, and express your appreciation and love. When is the last time you did that? If you could do this one time a day, how rich and fulfilling would your life become? Work on it. You can do it.
The great one’s want to be coached. They want to explore the forest. They want to climb that mountain, and they want to run that triathlon. They want to push their limits. They want a guide in deep waters. They want to coach to help them navigate the rapids. They want to face their fears, and chase new frontiers.
The word Enthusiasm comes from the Greek words, “En Theos” meaning, “God within” or “From the Divine”. Isn’t that a cool definition? When we are being enthusiastic, we are displaying a God like characteristic. We are literally displaying that we are “From the divine”.
--Here’s my challenge for today. If you are on the playing field, if you are in the board room, or out in the sales field, there will be noise. It comes in the form of social media, gossip, and your own mental chatter. Find a way to listen to that voice inside of you telling you that “you can.” It is a whisper, but if you listen, it is strong. If you listen closely, it is precise, and it is clear.
Start saying no. Say no to everything. Remember, when you say no, you are saying yes to the important things in your life. Sometimes saying no can be just the right thing to get your life back in balance
We all get angry, frustrated, and upset. The people who are able to control their emotions and who are able to control their minds are the one’s who perform at the highest levels. If you can control your emotions and your mind, then you can control your body. If you can control your body, now you can start to control performance. If you can control your performance, the sky is the limit. You can do it. So can I. Let’s do it together.
If you are in the position of mentor, or coach, or you are a leader, don’t be surprised if there is resistance from time to time. Be patient. Help anyway. Lead anyway. You don’t know the complete and individual story of the people you work with. Be willing to help regardless of attitude. They will come around. It will hurt for a moment, but the rewards are great to those who don’t give up on people.
What you focus on matters. Make an effort today to focus on what you are thinking about. Have you ever noticed why you are thinking the way you do? Have you taken any time to notice what you are thinking? It can help.
Write down your ideas and your solutions. Many times we have inspiration and clarity at odd times. Keep a small notebook next to you, or better yet, since we all have our phones, start writing down your inspirations in the “notes” section on your iPhone
Caring is key. If you are putting your heart into anything, caring matters. That includes caring for others and for their goals, aspirations, and commitments. Find someone to mentor, someone that you can help on their path. Giving to others and caring for others helps us to care about ourselves. When we care about others, and we care about ourselves, it makes it easier to stick to our tasks and fortify our commitments
Small changes can make a huge difference in our lives. Change can slow things down a bit. Push reset this week, and see if you can clean off the grime that is holding you back. Most importantly, be the change you want to see in others. When I do this, I am quickly reminded that people usually mirror the way I am acting and feeling. So I am going to start acting positive, feeling grateful, and walking with purpose on purpose. I think you should too.
Enthusiasm. From the Greek word “En theos” meaning from the divine or the divine within. Challenge others with your zest and enthusiasm for your hopes and dreams. Usually we back down to others and acquiesce to others when will feel fear. Enthusiasm is a great barrier to put between fear and belief. Use it to your advantage.
Don’t wait for someone else to give you permission to do any of the above activities. You are the captain of your ship. You are the CEO of your own life. Make the decision to be balanced, and then go out and be excellent to yourself and to your loved ones. You will be glad you did.
Authenticity is something we could all use a little more often. When we are authentic, we are true to ourselves, and the people around us begin to trust us more. As they trust us, we become more confident. As we become confident we try more things that will be beneficial to ourselves, our families, and our communities. We need the benefit of you in our communities. Come out of your shell. Risk some vulnerability, and be the confident, standout person that you are.
If you play a sport for yourself, or if all of your endeavors are for your own ego and pride, success will always be fleeting. It will almost always escape you. The research is in, and people who are only out for their own interests don’t score as high on the grit scale as people who play for others, or for a greater purpose. If you know your why or your purpose, studies have shown that you will be much more resilient and you will be able to endure the tough times more efficiently.
This week take a risk in the company of others. Stop trying to save face and let yourself goof up now and then. Tell a joke at the risk of it bombing. Dance in front of other people, but do it because you like it, not because you’re worried what others may think. Sing. Sing a lot. Smile and give a compliment. Practice one minute of pure unadulterated guts per day. Ask her out. Ask for the deal. Ask your boss for a raise. If you don’t ask the answer is always the same. Asking is movement. And as my coach once told me when I was chasing athletic dreams, “God can’t steer a parked car”. Go out and do it. Start by practicing guts every day.
Every time we say no to something that is not important, we are saying yes to something that is important. Keep the important things your life a priority! You know what they are, guard those important things in your life with the word no! It’s really that simple.
You are in charge of how and what you focus on. There are plenty of negative things out there that can distract you from your real purpose. Why would you waste time focusing on a negative radio show, a negative conversation, or a negative tv show. Never in the history of this world has there been more positive things to focus on. Find those positive items. Water them. Fertilize them. And make sure that they get the sunlight they deserve. I can’t guarantee you that focusing on the positive will make you a success. But it does up the likelihood of success. I CAN guarantee you that focusing on the negative will ensure that you are not successful. I think it’s an easy choice. Now, go and focus on the good in your life. Get a little bit better today than you were yesterday. There are great things to come for all of us.
Today, get yourself back on the right path. If you are struggling with grades, go speak with your teacher. Do it now. If you have wronged someone, write them a letter, set up a lunch appointment, or give them a phone call and tell them you are sorry. Do it now. If you are not getting to bed on time and waking up on time, apologize to yourself and get better at it. Do it now. If you are having problems in a relationship with a teammate, a coach, a spouse, or a boss…sit down and talk it out with them. Do it now. There is power in taking control of your own life and your own decisions. Take the reigns, and guide yourself to a more thoughtful, a more mindful, and a more complete life.
Everyone wants to be successful. Everyone wants to be remembered for doing something extraordinary. The difference from the good one’s and the great one’s is one thing to me. What do you do when you don’t feel like it? Because, to me, 75% of the time you won’t feel like it. You won’t feel like putting in the championship effort in your life. You won’t feel like the work is worth it. You won’t feel like going the extra mile will get you the reward. You will realize your strengths if you look for them. You will find your weaknesses if you look for them. Research and history has shown that those who find their strengths are usually successful at using those strengths to set themselves apart.
Fear and shame are valuable tools to destroy the souls of young men. Don’t let them in to your life. If they have already taken up real estate in your life, bring them to light! Take them out of the basement of your life and expose them to the light. They will dry up. They will go away. Sometimes the difference between failure and success or fear and courage, is just the fact that you held on a little longer. So today. Hold on a little longer. Wait for the sun to come back out. Be patient and the tide will roll out. There are good things to come.
You do not need permission from anyone to be great! Don’t sit around waiting for someone to tell you that you are ready to start chasing your dreams. Start today. Start small if you have to, but start.
It’s disturbing to me that today’s athlete seems to celebrate more when someone fails than they do when someone succeeds. It doesn’t have to be that way. Be the difference. Be great by being kind. Be successful by building others.
The book “what to say when you talk to yourself” says that 75% of the messages we send ourselves are negative. Can you imagine that? That’s scary to me. That means that 3 out of every 4 things I say to myself today are negative. In general, we need to take control of that conversation. It’s time to stop listening to ourselves and start talking to ourselves. One tool that can help is staying in the moment. In the article that I read today, 60% of our thoughts are in the future, and 30% of our thoughts are in the past. That leaves only 10% of our thoughts in the present. That is an unacceptable number to me. No amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of anxiety can change the future. The trick is to be where your feet are. Practice being in the present. If you are with you spouse be with your spouse. If you are with your children be with you children. If you are playing a sport, just play your sport. You get the idea. In sport psychology we often say, “Don’t should all over yourself” Meaning, come back to the present, and stop beating yourself up for things you should have done. Easy enough, right?
So here’s my challenge for you today. Think back to a time when you were super successful and super happy. What were you doing at that time in your life? This could range from daily routines and habits, to service for others, to a confident mindset. There are many factors that go into a successful and happy life. But think about it, and think about what you were doing at those times in your life that you felt super confident, successful, and happy. Now, take a little inventory and find out which of those things you are lacking. It could be many, or it could be one. The challenge today is to pick one of those things that you were doing, and implement it in your life again. Start with the easiest one, and slowly add some of the others in as you see fit. You’ll see an impact in your life almost immediately.
Relationships help us to flourish. When you have a good relationship, guard it with your life. Guard it as if you just found the Count of Monte Cristo’s hidden treasure. They don’t always come easy, but when they do, they are priceless. Water your friendships, fertilize your connections, and give light to the partners in your life.
My challenge to you today is to make a small change in how you use your phone. My guess is that you’ve already found a thousand excuses as to why you use the phone the way you do. Stop. No more excuses. Make a small change that can make a big difference in your life. Don’t overwhelm yourself.
At the end of the day. It’s a process. Part of learning to use productive self-talk with yourself is to actually realize and be aware when you are being negative. Using productive language can be a slump buster, it can be just the tool to get you out of a funk. Try it. Be creative with it. It can make all the difference.
Lastly, be kind to yourself. As you do so, you will see your world change. Talking about yourself in a positive and uplifting way will help others to treat you well and will help you to see the beauty in the things you are doing. Accepting compliments graciously will inspire people to see the good in you as well. We are all in this together. We live in a world that is full of negative influence. We also live in a world that is full of amazing, uplifting, positive, and beautiful people and messages. Let’s all make a better effort to seek out these things, and make other’s lives better with the treasures that we find.
My challenge to you today is to embrace your role wherever you are. If you are in charge of 9 year olds, knock it out of the park with 9 year olds. If you are in charge of cleaning up the office at the end of the day, make that place shine! Whatever your role, make people think it’s the most important job in the organization. It will be contagious. Be a fountain, not a drain. Wherever you are, bring beauty to it.
I would argue that our most important signatures are the one’s that no one sees. I am talking about a million small signatures. I am talking about the every day decision to put your name on every single day. Will I finish this work out? Or not. Will I put my best effort in for this team? Or not. Will I be a trustworthy person? Will I be a great teammate? Will I give my best effort? Will I prepare for this job interview? Will I prepare for this presentation? The list goes on and on. The truth is that your success and your performance is uniquely tied to your willingness to “put your signature” on these small moments of your life. The road to success, and failure, is quite literally a million small moments.
Be the voice for someone else. Whether it is for your spouse, your child, your sibling, your neighbor, your friend, or the person next to you on the bus. Be that voice. Figure out a way to build a relationship with someone so that when they are facing something difficult or challenging, that they hear your voice, and that when they hear your voice, it is positive and it pushes them over the top.
Practice bravery today. Do something today that you feel uncomfortable doing. Ask directions. Start a podcast. Have a crucial conversation with someone. Call a life coach and set an appointment. Apply for a job that is out of your league. Download a meditation app. Apologize to someone you’ve done wrong. Do it. Do it today. You’ve got everything to gain. You got this. I believe in you.
Embrace it. Embrace it all. Embrace the suck. Embrace the awesome. Embrace your faith. Embrace your family. It’s all an opportunity to grow and progress. And that’s the message. You are here to grow.
Start small, but start. Start today. You will see the difference as you change your life and change the life of others. Remember, never underestimate the power of a well timed, authentic and genuine compliment. It can make all the difference in someone’s life. More importantly, it can make all the difference in your life.
Remember, you were mentally tough long before you got to this point. Recognize your strengths daily. Build on them. Cultivate them. Water them. Fertilize them. It will make all the difference….Van Gogh didn’t become Van Gogh by focusing on the minute details of his paintings. In fact, he openly embraced the mess of his art, thus making him authentic and unforgettable in the process.
This conference I realized, that no matter how much we talk about the science, that our lives need to be filled with more heart. More heart in our relationships. More heart in our jobs. More heart in our hobbies. More heart in our conversations. More heart in everything we do. In essence, as much as I love talking about the mind, and mental toughness, and mindset….the truth is we all need more heart.
Remember that you matter. Remember that the great one’s have been where you are. And remember that sometimes the definition of courage is telling yourself that maybe, tomorrow, you can try again.
Superstition • n. A widely held but irrational belief in supernatural influences, especially as bringing good or bad luck. – Oxford English Dictionary
Pre-Performance routine • A sequence of task-relevant thoughts and actions which an athlete engages in systematically prior to or during his or her performance of a specific sport skill. – Moran, 1996
Anything worthwhile is going to take a little longer and be a little harder than you had anticipated. That’s ok you’re up to and worthy of the challenge. I can’t wait to see you pull it off!
The great ones have a plan for adversity. In fact, just like the warriors of days gone by, today’s leaders, today’s performers, are ready for adversity just like the old time warriors prepared for war.
Sometimes it's important that you are the calm in the storm. Sometimes you need to be calm. Sometimes you need to be measured in your responses, and sometimes you need to gather your thoughts.
The Great One’s don’t just thank the Coaches and Bosses. The great one’s recognize that everyone has a role.
Please remember THIS as you are practicing being courageous this week. “Anything you want to say to someone is for the most part perfectly acceptable, just say it kindly, and say it without emotion.” Give someone a call this week you haven’t called in a long time. Give a compliment to someone you don’t feel like complimenting. Start a hobby you’ve been meaning to start for years. Go back to the basics. It’s never too late to be the person you ought to have been. All it takes is one minute a day of pure unadulterated guts and courage!
Be authentic. The best advice I ever received when I was in school was from Dr Keith Henschen and Dr Nicole Detling. The emphasized over and over that you have to be the best you possible. Don’t try to be someone you aren’t. Start now and start small. You will find your voice and you will find your best you.
Here’s a truth. You give people permission to talk about you in the way you talk about yourself.
At the end of the day, I’m betting on you. I bet you can do it. The changes you need to make to be more successful in your life are smaller than you think. Be a little better, be a little more gritty, be a little more resilient because you’ve got this.
Sometimes we need to focus on the things that are most important. In fact, often times our focus, or lack thereof can be as a result of us focusing on the wrong things.
--Science shows that visualization and imagery not only helps athletes to perform well during competition, but the research continues to find that it may be possible to speed up the healing process by using specific mental skills and techniques and by maintaining a positive mindset.
The best way to let your life get out of control is to do nothing. Find your calling, work at it, master your craft, and most importantly, be just a little better than you were yesterday.
What do you typically think when an event happens? What do you feel in response to those feelings? What do you do in reaction to those thoughts? After thinking about those thoughts, I want you to ask yourself this question. What’s important now? What can you do right here and right now to make things better? And then go out and execute it.
You need not react to every opinion, every comment, or every situation. Kick the drama and keep moving ahead. Choose your battles wisely. Not everything deserves your time and attention.
Bottom line is, you shouldn’t just praise effort. You should praise effort that is leading to a pathway of success, stressing that simply trying isn’t enough. Your kids should try hard because putting in all that effort makes them more skilled, smarter, and better at whatever they choose to pursue.
Grit can be developed through mindfulness and through other tools like counter arguments. The father of “positive psychology”, Martin Seligman, has created another program that promotes conscious awareness of thoughts and an ability to challenge those thoughts by considering alternatives. For example, “My bost just ignored me in the hallway because she didn’t see me, not because she hates my guts.”
Simply stated, your dream is not a plan. Dreams have no cost. Plans have a value attached to them, and they can cost you time, effort, sweat, and money sometimes.
The great one's try again today when yesterday didn't go so well. The great one's are a little bit better today than they were yesterday. Be grateful. Be grateful for your body. Be grateful for your teammates. Be grateful for your family and friends who support you. This gratitude will be key to your success.
Start concentrating on what you are "for" and stop focusing on what you are "against." There are too many "anti's" in this world. Think about how much better your life could be if you constantly focused on what you are "for" and let people in on all the things that you support! There is power in supporting. There is destruction in complaining.
Do your best to combat the creature. Using imagery, counter arguments, and the word "yet" can do wonders when it comes to negative self-talk.
Start your book. Start your blog. Start your new career. Start your podcast. Start that new class. Whatever it is, just start.
Learn how to control your emotions by being mindful and aware. There is always something good around the corner. Make sure you are there to enjoy it.
The secret to any goal is to break it down into small bites. Creation of micro goals each day can help you with your daily grind, and more importantly, help you to achieve your macro goals.
Your responsibility to your athlete is first and foremost to be their parent. Make sports enjoyable. Don't make the car ride home a coffin that your child cannot escape. It will make you and your athlete much happier.
First of all, know that you are not the only one experiencing imposter syndrome. There are a whole slew of entrepreneurs, collegiate and professional athletes, and CEO's that experience imposter syndrome. It's much more common than you may think.
It's been proven over and over again scientifically that breathing reduces anxiety, increases organ function, increases brain function, and sharpens physical coordination. When is the last time you practiced breathing with a purpose? Do it. It can make all the difference.
Practicing stepping out of your comfort zone is one of the best ways to build confidence for any sort of performance scenario. As you continue to do things you normally wouldn't do, you will see your confidence soar!
"Be grateful and tell people that you are grateful. Sometimes a simple letter of gratitude can make all the difference in a relationship." --Riley Jensen
"Simply put, authentic people live within the boundaries of the values and principles that they believe in." --Riley Jensen
Mindset Matters: In Episode #52 we are talking about the one thing that can change everything, today.
Your dreams are coming. They will be here in due time. Work while you wait. Don't waste precious time.
It's amazing what kind of profound difference that simple awareness can have in your life.
Courage is the resistance to fear, the mastery of fear -- not the absence of fear. --Mark Twain
Your attitude and your willingness to be positive can make a huge impact on your own life.
Visualization can be the key to building confidence, reducing anxiety, sharpening focus, and maximizing performance.
Take pride this week in doing fantastic work without being complimented for it. Take pride in doing a good job, just for the sake of doing good.
Stop your habit of straightening chairs on the titanic. Focus on what is most important.
Lean into adversity by understanding your "why". Understand who you are by using the advice of Justin Su'a, "Walk with Purpose, on Purpose. "
I was so worried about being superstitious as a young athlete that I became superstitiously not superstitious.
Hustling is not what it used to be. Take advantage of the situation and give maximum effort starting today...
Connor McGregor is a champion because he fixes his mistakes. Being a champion is about being brutally aware of your shortcomings, and working like your hair is on fire to improve the situation.