Your Face Is Crooked: Recent Episodes

Erin Bartels

Your Face Is Crooked...and other things that are true about everyone, but especially about you

All mediocre things must come to an end.

I didn't know what to expect at my first author fair...

Sometimes your past self shows up in the present.

Change is in the air.

A trailer does not become a float be virtue of being pulled by a truck at 3 mph.

Sometimes nonconformity is unintentional.

Sometimes even the best of us get things wrong.

There are all sorts of surprises when you buy an old house...

Erin is just a little bit sheepish about her interest in a certain celebrity.

The worse your manners, the happier you'll be.

Erin reveals her three recurring dreams.

Erin tries not to make a fool out of herself when ordering drinks.

Little mysteries surround us. Here are a few that Erin is trying to figure out.

Erin imagines what the future holds for her...

It's New Year's Eve, but more importantly, it's Release Day Eve. Tomorrow will either be terrible or magical...

Listen, I know you're going to want to take a shortcut here. But let me tell you something about cutting corners...

There's no such thing as a free piano.

Before coffee shops were chains, they were not chains. Also, they were better.

What we see is often determined by the way in which we are looking at it.

Sometimes in life we have to choose between something bad and something worse.

Hey, whoa...take a step back. And another. And one more for good measure.

I hate to break it to you, but you look worse than you think.

This is why no one hits on you.

The kind of car you drive in college when your dad is from Detroit. Well, Bloomfield Hills.

Erin considers the implications of growing up as a hot pink daughter with beige parents.

Erin discovers that while you can go home again, home never waits for you.

Erin imagines the bleak future her son will have if he doesn't eat leftovers.

In which Erin realizes that her voice isn't all that great.

Sorry. There are some things you just can't pull off.

Erin reflects on the liberating feeling you get from undressing in front of a crowd. Well, sort of.

It's clear that you are more low class than you think.

Sometimes not looking your age is a liability.

Before things get better for Erin, they'll get worse...

Erin excels at a "sport" no one cares about.

Erin discovers a high school fashion loophole.

Erin enters the perilous realm known as middle school.

Erin considers the inherent risks and rewards of grabbing the first fortune cookie.

Erin frets over whether she drinks enough water.

Erin struggles to reconcile her diametrically opposed design impulses.

Erin explains why you don't do anything right.

Welcome to the first episode of Your Face Is Crooked: And Other Things That Are True about Everyone, but Especially about You. In this episode, Erin considers the personal and social implications of the two sides of her face (and yours) not lining up.