The Budge Nuzzard: Recent Episodes

A.S. Peterson

From the Birthing to the Gnawing to the Leaping, Glaring, and Thupping, all my woeful gloanings shall I here unfold. My wicked progeny is yet at large and I am sore beset. Whence this journey ends I dare not think, and whence it begins I am loathe to look.

Ah, such travails! Such woe and robiderance!

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In which the Hairiest of Allies is undone!

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In which an innard is outdone!

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In which a great Jiggling is not feared!

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A brief and glorious history of Pan!

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In which I count to One Thousand!

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Wherein I am gifted a Nuzzard Carton and offered a lobidious clue!

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In which the nature of the Gnawer is revealed!

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In which that feverishly sought ville of the Northern Voon is attained at last.

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In which a plan is laid forth to proclaim the glories of Weench.

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In which I am content within the Sha-Una

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Wherein a cessation and a celebration are followed by a great loping.

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In which my wicked progeny is not sighted, and is therefore revealed!

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Wherein an odd man tells the tale of Nine Nuts.

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Wherein I comtemplate a great mashing.

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In which a legion of Minions are driven to ground by heroic deed.

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In which hideous eyes fall upon my nape agazing.

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In which is born a radiant and glorious Sign.

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In which a strongly smelt ally directs me onward.

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In which I move to bold action!

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Wherein I endeavor to ease my foamy mind with a squeezing of Thupping Cream.

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In which I inform the WONAS of my thorough unpreparedness!

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In which that Lurker most sly again slinks within my nether-kitchen.

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Wherein I full gloan upon my troublesome venture to Gnashville.

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In which I long to yawn and relish.

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Wherein a strange and loping man accosts me and does an offering make.

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Wherein I depart for darkness!

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In which a maddening scrawl is thrust my way!

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In which my nubbled Anne is terribly watched by slinking eyes!

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In which my investigation of that hideous Lurker is yet stymied.

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In which the Meriam and Webster prove delightful allies!

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Like a broken wind, the Samurai makes contact at last.

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In which my nubbled one denounces my loathsomeness.

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In which a Smiting, a Leaping, and a Glaring transpire.

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Hear now of marks most bottomous upon my lower left foot.

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In which a hideously gnawing befalls an awakening Weem.

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Here is evil born!