The Tough Mothers Podcast: Recent Episodes
Dr Jennifer Hacker Pearson PhD
The Tough Mothers podcast delves into the topics we need to talk about in motherhood. The taboo, embarrassing and not-spoken-about things that make us feel alone and frightened, but are often common and normal. Mothers from around the world share their journeys through motherhood, completely uncensored; their struggles, their accomplishments, their insights, and what they want you to know. Including interviews with experts in the motherhood field, these conversations will touch you, inspire you, resonate with you and empower you as you navigate your way through matrescence (the transition from woman to mother) and motherhood. Your host, Dr Jennifer Hacker Pearson PhD, is a mother of three. She personally and professionally knows the importance of mental wellbeing in matrescence and motherhood. She also knows that we need to talk about it ALL, so we can support each other, and ourselves, during our journey. Dr Jen’s bestselling book "I Wish Someone Had Told Me…" details the things 1000 mothers want every mother to know before she has her baby. The Tough Mothers Podcast carries on from there.These powerful, raw and honest conversations will enlighten, support, encourage, and empower you on your journey through matrescence and motherhood. Because you too are a Tough Mother.
Imagine a world where matrescence, the developmental transformation from woman to mother, was truly recognised. Where this rite of passage was as understood and spoken about as adolescence.
While matrescence isn’t a household word YET, my guest today on MAMA, UNLEASHED!, Nikki McCahon, has created a framework and language around matrescence to make this uncertain, and often challenging, time of becoming a mother more clear and less scary.
Nikki created her Seasons of Matrescence model to support mothers through the varying transitions and changes of motherhood and to offer the woman a map of where she is, and where she is most likely heading.
In this episode we talk all about matrescence, Nikki’s model (which incorporates the 4 seasons of the year) and how matrescence has the power to break the societal standards of motherhood.
LEARN MORE
- Find out more about Nikki McCahon and her Seasons of Matrescence program at www.NikkiMcCahon.com
- Explore Dr Jen’s new course How To Be A Happier Mother – use your unique neurobiology and your motherhood transformation as the catalyst to thrive. At www.DrJen.com.au/courses. Released late January 2023.
FOLLOW ME: on Instagram or Facebook for more information, knowledge and evidence-based tools to thrive in motherhood @DrJenHackerPearson
FOLLOW NIKKI: on Instagram @NikkiMcCahon
Timestamps
[3.45] In matrescence we ask ourselves a lot of questions: who am I now I’m a mother?
What happened to me?
What’s going on in my life?
What’s happening to my relationship with my partner and with myself?
Why am I alone and isolated?
[5.45] Mothers need community to thrive. Isolation and loneliness are risk factors for postpartum/ postnatal depression.
[8.45] The importance of having language and a framework around matrescence. Otherwise, every mother will feel “there is something wrong with me”.
[11.30] Motherhood is a rite of passage – a moving from one group into another. Society tells us who we need to be to fit into the new group. This puts immense pressure on new mothers.
[13.00] How our society and culture benefit from us feeling like we are an inadequate mother and feeling like it is all our fault.
[14.33] The follow-on and full-circle effect of not supporting mothers: if society doesn’t look after the mother, the mother struggles more to look after her children. Research has shown this can lead to mental health issues in the children, which in turn will burden society.
[16.00] How Nikki created her Seasons of Matrescence model and program.
[19.55] The importance of understanding yourself, and how your life experiences have shaped you to this point, when you enter matrescence. How your current situation affects your transformation.
[23.20] The Seasons of Matrescence model – the Autumn, Winter, Spring and Summer transformations of motherhood. We cycle through. Matrescence lasts a lifetime.
[36.40] Why pregnant women need to know about matrescence before they have their baby.
[40.00] How the transformation of matrescence empowers women to challenge the status quo and find their voice.
Thanks so much for listening and for your interest in becoming a happier mother.
Be sure to subscribe to MAMA, UNLEASHED! on your favourite podcast channel, and follow me on Instagram or Facebook for more information and tips @DrJenHackerPearson
What's the best motherhood brain hack to be a happier mother?
Today on MAMA, UNLEASHED! I explain why I don’t like the term “hack”, especially in motherhood, and why we should instead be focussing on tools, strategies, exercises and protocols, to get real and long-lasting results.
In this episode, I talk about the similarities, differences and connections of the brain and the mind, and the role each play in your feelings of happiness in motherhood. I give you my first of many non-hack motherhood brain hacks (you’ll see why I named it that) and steps for how to use it immediately and start feeling happier.
LEARN MORE
- Workshop: How To Be A Happier Mother – use your unique neurobiology as your catalyst to thrive in motherhood
An introduction to the motherhood brain and mind, yourself in matrescence, neuroplasticity (the way your brain changes especially when you become a mother) and how you can train your brain and mind to feel happier in motherhood.
Learn more at https://drjen.ck.page/219c0d6552
- MAMA, UNLEASHED! episodes about matrescence
o Episode 4: Why you must know what matrescence - www.DrJen.com.au/ep4
o Episode 8: Why am I now? – Your new identity in motherhood - www.DrJen.com.au/ep8
o Episode 15: The 50 shades of motherhood spectrum - www.DrJen.com.au/ep15
o Episode 28: Matrescence or postpartum depression - www.DrJen.com.au/ep28
o Episode 33: How to truly thrive in matrescence - www.DrJen.com.au/ep33
FOLLOW ME: on Instagram or Facebook for more information, knowledge and evidence-based tools to thrive in motherhood @DrJenHackerPearson
[Timestamps]
[1.50] Why it is important to decide what happy means for you.
[4.30] What is matrescence?
[5.11] Two reasons I don’t like the term “hack, especially in motherhood.
[6.36] Why you can’t hack your way out of doing the work to feel happy – physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual work.
[7.50] Neuroplasticity and how our thoughts help shape our brain and mind.
[8.13] What are the brain and the mind are and how do they work?
[13.28] Steps and tool you can use to influence your happiness.
Thanks so much for listening and for your interest in becoming a happier mother.
Be sure to subscribe to MAMA, UNLEASHED! on your favourite podcast channel, and follow me on Instagram or Facebook for more information and tips @DrJenHackerPearson
Amazing things happen in a woman’s brain when she becomes a mother, and we don’t even know half of it yet. Thankfully maternal neuroscience researchers like Dr Jodi Pawluski are making great progress in this very understudied area of science.
In this episode of MAMA, UNLEASHED! I have the absolute pleasure of delving into the brain of Dr Jodi Pawluski, a leading maternal neuroscientist, psychotherapist, and mother of two. We talk about so much, from why we must remove the negative connotations associated with baby brain, to the neuroscience of maternal mental health and how our expectations in motherhood and our understanding around maternal mental illness can influence our experience of matrescence.
LEARN MORE
- Get the links to Jodi's articles, all we speak about, and more at www.DrJen.com.au/ep34
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About Dr Jodi Pawluski at www.JodiPawluski.com
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PREPARE YOURSELF FOR MOTHERHOOD- explore Dr Jen’s course Write Your Empowered Matrescence Plan to learn more about matrescence, how to prepare yourself for matrescence and becoming a mother, and how you can write a matrescence plan to prepare you to thrive during this transformative time thriving at www.drjenhackerpearson.samcart.com/products/matplan
FOLLOW ME: on Instagram or Facebook for more information, knowledge and evidence-based tools to thrive in motherhood @DrJenHackerPearson
FOLLOW JODI: on Instagram @dr.jodi_pawluski
[Timestamps]
[4.35] About all things baby brain, pregnancy brain, lactation brain.
[5.55] Memory differences in the brain of (pregnant) mothers vs non-mothers.
[9.10] We have to change the narrative and mindset that there is a deficit in the brain in motherhood.
[10.50] The mental load of motherhood – the “mother load” – evolution will have us pick the most important things
[12.50 Neuroplasticity and the brain changes that happen in matrescence – when a woman becomes a mother.
[13.36] What areas of a mother’s brain changes in size, structure and activity, and what outcome this results in.
[18.00] Brain changes occur in all caregivers, including fathers, adoptive parents, and grandparents, but the effects of pregnancy on the brain are still the greatest in the biological mother.
[20.00] The glorification of motherhood and the expectations that come with that.
[20.23] Matrescence has many similarities to adolescence – we must also look at patrescence.
[30.10] How postpartum depression and postnatal anxiety affect a mother’s brain.
[35.35] There is treatment for postpartum depression that is not medication. This can also lead to neuroplasticity and change in feelings and emotions.
[38.20] There are 6 different types of perinatal depression – we also need to talk about postpartum rage.
[41.00] Education around becoming a mother (not just the birth!) is a must! - So much can happen during birth and early motherhood and it might not go to plan.
[45.45] Exploring yourself and your roots before having a baby so you can be aware of what might come up for you emotionally in motherhood.
Thanks so much for listening and for your interest in becoming a happier mother.
Be sure to subscribe to MAMA, UNLEASHED! on your favourite podcast channel, and follow me on Instagram or Facebook for more information and tips @DrJenHackerPearson
If you knew about matrescence - the developmental transformation a woman goes through when she becomes a mother - before you became a mum, would it have changed your motherhood experience?
In this episode of MAMA, UNLEASHED! I share with you knowledge, information and an evidence-based strategy that will help you thrive in matrescence, especially if you are expecting a baby.
Becoming a mother shakes you up and you have little control over how matrescence will manifest for you. But you can prepare yourself, and learn to thrive in matrescence and feel truly happy in motherhood
LEARN MORE: About Dr Jen’s new course Write Your Empowered Matrescence Plan to learn more about how to create your perfect Village at www.drjen.com.au/courses
- Head to www.DrJen.com.au/ep33 for the show notes, more information and links.
In this episode you will learn:
[3.30] A woman has three reproductive stages in life: menarche, matrescence and menopause
[7.50] Matrescence – when a woman is reproducing and becoming a mother, is the most understudied of the three.
[10.10] What is matrescence, where does the term come from and what does it mean?
[15.55] Learn how a woman’s brain changes when she becomes a mother
[27.15] What else influences how matrescence will manifest for you
[29.00] Being prepared for matrescence with knowledge, and understanding yourself is paramount in making matrescence work for you.
[37.30] Write yourself a matrescence plan
Thanks so much for listening and for your interest in becoming a happier mother.
Be sure to subscribe to MAMA, UNLEASHED! on your favourite podcast channel, and follow me on Instagram or Facebook for more information and tips @DrJenHackerPearson
I believe that as women there is so much we can learn from women who have gone before us. And my guest on this episode delivers learnings in spades.
In this episode of MAMA, UNLEASHED! I speak with the amazing and admirable mum of three Wendy Euler. Wendy is the creator of the highly successful women’s empowerment movement Goodbye Crop Top and the podcast Cropped – a midlife minute.
This conversation goes there! It is a conversation we need to have as women and as mothers.
It is deep, nourishing, informative and focussed on empowering women towards great mental health and happiness. See why we dislike popular “self-care” and how focussing on our courage, confidence, consciousness, curiosity, conversations, and true relationships are far more important.
LEARN MORE: - About Wendy Euler, Goodbye Crop Top and Wendy's podcast Cropped - a midlife minute at www.goodbyecroptop.com
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About Dr Jen's book I Wish Someone Had Told Me... - unspoken truths about what really happens to women during labour, childbirth and the first few weeks of motherhood at www.DrJen.com.au/books
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About Dr Jen’s new course Write Your Empowered Matrescence Plan to learn more about how to create your perfect Village – released October 20, 2022 at www.drjen.com.au/courses
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Head to www.DrJen.com.au/ep32 for the show notes.
FOLLOW ME: on Instagram or Facebook for more information, knowledge and evidence-based tools to thrive in motherhood @DrJenHackerPearson
FOLLOW WENDY: on Instagram @GoodbyeCropTop
Time stamps from this episode:
[2.30] The most important “hat” we can put on is our own
[5.15] Mothering changes from generation to generation
[8.30] Recognising the impact of your transgenerational (trauma) tail
[9.15] Having the consciousness to be curious and ask yourself: Is this me? Does this suit me?
[9.55] 6 things that ARE self-care
[11.15] The key to nourishing relationships
[15.00] Managing the mask of motherhood
[16.10] How to exercise your mind
[18.00] The key to good mental health and happiness
[21.40] What confidence really is
[33.45] The 3 pivots in a woman’s life
[38.50] The beauty of caring less in motherhood
So, it turns out that 'dropping the ball' is a good thing in motherhood, especially for your brain and mind. Hooray!
In this episode of MAMA, UNLEASHED! I talk a lot about balls, and about dropping them. I also talk about perfectionism, mental space, and why doing less will benefit your brain and lead you to get the most out of motherhood.
You will learn that every mother needs to purposely drop the ball sometimes to thrive in motherhood and that matrescence is the catalyst for beautiful things.
LEARN MORE: - About matrescence at www.Drjen.com.au/ep4, www.Drjen.com.au/ep8 and www.Drjen.com.au/ep28.
- About mental space and how to create more to thrive at www.DrJen.com.au/ep26
- Head to www.DrJen.com.au/ep31 for the show notes and free download.
FOLLOW ME: on Instagram or Facebook for more information, knowledge and evidence-based tools to thrive in motherhood @DrJenHackerPearson
WIN: 1 of 3 A$50 Amazon gift cards
All you need to do is listen to MAMA UNLEASHED! on Apple Podcasts, Spotifyor YouTube.
Then subscribe/follow, rate AND review MAMA UNLEASHED! on your favourite platform.
Send a screenshot of your subscribe/follow, rate and review to podcast@DrJen.com.au and you are in the draw!
Competition closes 30 September at 5pm AEST. Terms and conditions apply and can be found at www.DrJen.com.au/competition-terms
Time stamps from this episode:
[0.40] Do less in motherhood to gain more
[1.10] Perfectionism is anxiety in a different coat
[3.00] The 5 balls of life
[3.55] The 500 balls of motherhood: managing your mother load and your mental load
[5.45] Your strategy to do less and get the most out of motherhood
[7.35] How to reduce stress in motherhood because chronic stress changes your brain
[9.15] Creating more mental space, the key to feeling happier in motherhood
[9.20] How to train your brain like a muscle to get more out of motherhood
In motherhood it is easy, and even socially encouraged, to put yourself last.
Society doesn’t tell mothers to put yourself first and fill your cup (because you can’t pour from an empty cup!). No, prioritising yourself to thrive and feel happy in motherhood is frowned upon, like the mother is selfish. So mothers don’t do it.
It isn’t selfish. It is imperative!
In this episode of MAMA, UNLEASHED! mum coach Lauren Ellis and I discuss in detail why you must prioritise yourself in motherhood and what happens if you don’t. We offer practical strategies and tools, you can modify to fit into your life and lifestyle, so you can prioritise yourself, be a happier mum and truly thrive in motherhood and mothering.
LEARN MORE: Head to www.DrJen.com.au/ep30 for the show notes and free download.
FOLLOW ME: on Instagram or Facebook for more information, knowledge and evidence-based tools to thrive in motherhood @DrJenHackerPearson
WIN: 1 of 3 A$50 Amazon gift cards
All you need to do is listen to MAMA UNLEASHED! on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube.
Then subscribe/follow, rate AND review MAMA UNLEASHED! on your favourite platform.
Send a screenshot of your subscribe/follow, rate and review to podcast@DrJen.com.au and you are in the draw!
Competition closes 30 September at 5pm AEST. Terms and conditions apply and can be found at www.DrJen.com.au/competition-terms
Imagine if every mother knew that she will go through a development transition – matrescence - when she becomes a mother, and that this would change her immensely.
Now imagine if she had the information and knowledge to use her motherhood transformation to step into her power and truly thrive.
Matrescence – becoming a mother – is this transition. And not only do we not talk about the fact that we change when we become mothers, we don’t tell mothers that her matrescence journey may be her greatest gift.
Until today!
In this very special first episode of MAMA, UNLEASHED I speak with powerhouse mum of three, entrepreneur and business owner Debra Summons. Deb very honestly shares her journey and struggle with becoming a mum, how not knowing about matrescence affected her experience, and how she now thanks the gift and opportunities she found in her suffering.
If you are struggling, feeling lost, unfulfilled or unsatisfied in motherhood, or just wondering “who am I now I’m a mum”, this episode is for you. You are not alone!
Key takeaways from this episode of MAMA, UNLEASHED!
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We must educate every mother about matrescence BEFORE she has her baby so she can be prepared for the change within herself
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Matrescence can be our greatest personal gift and power
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Motherhood is just one hat we wear as women; we can’t let it consume us
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It’s important to see our transition into, and our privilege of, motherhood, not as an imposition, but an opportunity to become our happiest self.
LET’S CELEBRATE THE RELEASE OF MAMA, UNLEASHED! TOGETHER.
I’D LIKE YOU TO WIN 1 of 3 A$50 Amazon gift cards
All you need to do is listen to MAMA UNLEASHED! on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube.
Then subscribe/follow, rate AND review MAMA UNLEASHED! on your favourite platform.
Send a screenshot of your subscribe/follow, rate and review to podcast@DrJen.com.au and you are in the draw!
Competition closes 30 September at 5pm AEST. Terms and conditions apply.
Find more information and the show notes to this episode HERE
MAMA, UNLEASHED! exists to give mothers knowledge, information, truths and uncomplicated evidence-based tools, so you can unleash yourself and truly thrive in motherhood.
I'm your host Dr Jennifer Hacker Pearson, and this is the podcast for women who want the most out of motherhood.
My guests include amazing mothers, experts, scientists and researchers who unveil their knowledge and expertise just for you, so you can become the happiest mother you know.
Subscribe now and check out DrJen.com.au/podcast for more.
We are live from September 1, 2022.
Matrescence - the developmental transformation a woman goes through when she becomes a mother, is physical, psychological, emotional, social, and spiritual.
Interestingly, for almost all mothers, matrescence can result in similar feelings to postpartum depression, which can be very concerning.
We ask ourselves am I experiencing matrescence or postpartum depression?
Or both???
This episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast analyses this question to provide you with knowledge, so you can understand yourself, and your feelings better, and learn how to support yourself in motherhood.
Key takeaways from this episode:
- Matrescence and postpartum depression can feel similar
- Matrescence manifests in mixed feelings
- Postpartum depression is an umbrella term
- Your knowledge of matrescence, and yourself during matrescence, is imperative for thriving in motherhood
Mentions in this episode
- Learn more about my first book I Wish Someone Had Told Me – unspoken truths about what really happens to women during labour, childbirth and the first few weeks of motherhood at www.toughmothers.com/books
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Read Katie Rickson’s amazing article about her experience with matrescence and bipolar at www.toughmothers.com/MatrescenceAndBipolar
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Follow Tough Mothers on Facebook and Instagram for more knowledge, techniques and support @DrJenHackerPearson
And join our FREE village at www.ToughMothers.com/village -
For more information about this episode head to www.ToughMothers.com/ep28
Talking about not drinking alcohol is still taboo. But Grey-Area Drinking Coach Sarah Rusbatch and I dared to go there in this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast. We want you to know why alcohol is making you unhappy and anxious, how you can find your true self by putting down the bottle, and why mummy wine culture is so very damaging.
Don’t think this is a You-MUST-Stop-Drinking-Now episode. It is not! We merely share Sarah’s knowledge and our individual experiences with ditching booze, and how it has affected us and our mothering.
Key takeaways from this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast:
- Taking a break from alcohol can be beneficial in more ways than one
- Alcohol does not make motherhood easier
- Your kids are affected by your drinking, even if you don’t realise it
- Choosing to ditch the drink will change your life in more ways than one
MENTIONS IN THIS EPISODE
-Download your free guide to taking a break from alcohol
-See Sarah’s top resources for changing your relationship with alcohol
-The book Sarah mentioned: The Wine O'clock Myth by Lotta Dann
-Learn how you can truly thrive during motherhood with our TOUGH MOTHERS COURSES
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Follow Tough Mothers on Facebook and Instagram for more knowledge, techniques and support @DrJenHackerPearson
And join our FREE village at www.ToughMothers.com/village -
For more information about this episode head to www.ToughMothers.com/ep27
Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space, your mental space, lies your power to choose your response, and your response will determine how you feel and how you view the world.
This episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast dives into the importance of mental space in motherhood. We talk about why you must find your mental space and elongate it to thrive in motherhood.
I also give you 3 simple ways you can create more mental space today.
FREE DOWNLOAD - Morning Mama Meditation
Your simple 5-minute guided meditation that will help you create calm, joy and fulfilment in your mind, and train your brain to elongate your mental space. www.ToughMothers.com/meditations
Join our FREE Tough Mothers Village!
We provide knowledge, information, tips, support and so much more, for all mothers.
www.ToughMothers.com/village
To access more information about this episode or watch this conversation on YouTube go to www.ToughMothers.com/ep26
To access this episode's show notes and for more information and tools go to: www.ToughMothers.com/ep25
Matrescence is defined as the process of becoming a mother. It is the physical, psychological, emotional, social, and spiritual transformation women go through when we become mothers.
But does matrescence ever end?
Is it finite like adolescence?
In this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast, I delve deeper into the evolution of matrescence with Jenn Donovan, who recently experienced a life-changing transition in her motherhood journey when her youngest child finished high school.
Key takeaways from this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast:
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Matrescence is a lifelong transformation for mothers.
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Our children’s phases and transitions will change us as women, and our role as mothers.
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Every mother’s matrescence journey is different.
For more information on matrescence and to access Jenn's beautiful article head to www.ToughMothers.com/ep25
For more knowledge, tools and this episode's show notes visit www.Tough Mothers.com/ep24
Want to truly thrive in motherhood?
In this episode I introduce you The Motherhood Champagne-Glass-Tower Model.
I created The Motherhood Champagne-Glass-Tower Model to visually demonstrate the importance of a mother’s “glass” being full. Because if the mother’s glass is empty, she cannot pour into other areas of her life, like her children.
Key takeaways from this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast:
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You are the top glass of YOUR champagne glass tower
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if your glass is not full, your “champagne” cannot trickle down into other parts of your life
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To be the happiest mother you know, you must keep your glass full
For more knowledge, tools and this episode's show notes visit www.Tough Mothers.com/ep24
For more information, tips and this episode's show notes go to www.ToughMothers.com/ep23
“Acknowledging our fears around mothering and motherhood is empowering and courageous.”
This episode of Tough Mothers TV is deep!
I speak with mum of two, Belinda Hughes, about the fears we feel around our children and parenting, and how we deal with these. And you can too.
Motherhood is an opportunity to really get to know ourselves, and our children are our greatest teachers. Belinda shares how she transitioned from a fear-based space to a loving ground, and how mothers can manage their own fears, and not project them onto their children.
Key takeaways from this episode of Tough Mothers TV:
-Many of the fears mothers face come from our wounded inner child
-Fear is a natural part of mothering and motherhood.
-It is important to feel the fear, but we should not attach ourselves to it.
-Learning to surrender to your fears and feelings is an important part of motherhood.
PS. Surrender does not mean give in, surrender means let go
Go to www.ToughMothers.com/ep23 for more
For more information, freebies and this episode's show notes go to www.ToughMothers.com/ep22
“When a mother starts a conversation, that opens up the floodgate for other mothers to speak.”
How do you deal with sleep deprivation as a mother? Are you open to having a conversation about the hardships of motherhood and sleep?
In this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast I speak with my friend Jacqui Joe, who had two non-sleeping boys, and knows all too well the effects of severe sleep deprivation. Jacqui very openly discusses her internal thoughts and mental health during this time, how she felt she should be doing better, and why it is so important to ask for help, even if that seems hard.
Check out www.ToughMothers.com/ep22 for more
For more information, free meditations and tips go to www.ToughMothers.com/ep21
"As soon as you start meditating your cortisol (stress hormone) pump gets turned off”
I know what you are thinking: “meditation is not for me!”
I used to think that too. But when I was in the grips of my postpartum breakdown, I tried it because I was desperate; I had nothing to lose. Very quickly meditation played a huge part in my recovery from postpartum anxiety, and my thriving in motherhood. Over 7 years later, I still meditate every day.
Meditation makes motherhood easier!
I want you to reap the benefits of meditation too. So, in this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV I have a deep a conversation with my meditation teacher, Tom Cronin, to explain how meditation works, the science of meditation, the importance of meditation in everyday life, and how meditation can change your experience of motherhood and help you thrive.
Meditating is the best thing you can do for yourself and your kids. Because when mothers thrive, their children thrive, the world thrives.
START TODAY
Listen to the episode and GET MY MORNING MAMA MEDITATION
FREE TODAY at www.ToughMothers.com/meditations
A simple 5-minute guided meditation I created to help you set your day up for calm, joy and fulfilment.
No prior meditation experience is required, but you will get a lot out of it even if you are already meditating.
For more information and the show notes head to www.ToughMothers.com/ep20
Trigger warning: Miscarriage and infant death
Imagine the feeling of giving birth to your baby after several miscarriages.
Only for him to become critically ill in the hours and days following his birth, and eventually dying in your arms.
In this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast Amelia Davatzis shares her story of how her firstborn, Alexander, was born with duodenal atresia – a condition where the first part of the bowel does not develop properly. And how this usually simple, lifesaving procedure was anything but for Alexander.
I am so grateful Amelia has shared her experience, even though it is very sad for her, and hard for us to hear. But we need to talk about everything in motherhood. Even the tough stuff.
ESPECIALLY the tough stuff. We cannot sweep devastation in motherhood under the rug.
For more support and tips see www.ToughMothers.com/ep20
“Our sharing creates an invitation for other mothers to share their story. And THAT creates empowerment”
See www.ToughMothers.com/ep19 for more information, tips and freebies from this episode
If you are feeling like you are on your own, Mama, you must watch this!
In this episode of the Tough Mothers Podcast, I sit down with Gemma Douglas (founder of The Motherhood Project - a New Zealand-based online support community for mothers) to talk about Gemma’s journey into matrescence*, why sharing our truth in motherhood is so important, how The Motherhood Project came about, and how we can all support ourselves and each other through this rollercoaster motherhood ride.
*Matrescence is the developmental transition women go through when we become mothers. It is physical, psychological, emotional, social and spiritual. Motherhood transforms us!
For show notes, tips, more information a freebie head to www.ToughMothers.com/ep19
See www.ToughMothers.com/ep18 for more information, tips and this episode's show notes.
“People before things. Always!”
This episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast delves into the life of Clutter Mentalist (cool title!) Collette Barker.
Collette is a mum of four and an ex-Plunket nurse (New Zealand's early childhood health centre), who has the amazing ability to work with your weaknesses to declutter your home and mind in the most simple way.
Collette shares with us hilarious stories from her motherhood life, and how her home changed from having no babies through to her fourth baby. She generously walks us through her amazing, useful and simple decluttering tips, which we can all implement today to declutter our home and our mind.
For more information, tips and this episode's show notes go to www.ToughMothers.com/ep18
See www.ToughMothers.com/ep17 for more information, tips and this episode's show notes.
“The [motherhood] shift was nothing like I thought of, dreamed of or prepared myself for”
Dasha Okonji is a mum of 3 gorgeous boys and a life coach. Like many mums, during matrescence Dasha felt she lost herself in motherhood. So, she went on a journey to rediscover who she is, find herself again and find the light in motherhood.
In this episode of the Tough Mothers Podcast, Dasha shares with us her powerful story and explicit steps of how she found herself and her way in motherhood, and how you can too.
From getting to know ourselves again properly as we navigate through matrescence, to seeing what is important, and how we can give more time to the things that are important to us, without sacrificing ourselves.
For more information, tips and this episode's show notes go to www.ToughMothers.com/ep17
See ToughMothers.com/ep16 for more information, tips and this episode's show notes.
“Motherhood ripped me apart and put me together with light”.
Alana contacted me a couple of months ago and said: “I really want to share my birth stories with you. I had two incredibly empowering births, and I feel that people don’t talk about birth being a positive experience.”
I said: YES!!!!!!
In this episode of the Tough Mothers PodcastAlana reveals how she prepared herself mentally for childbirth and how hypnobirthing played a big part in her birth experiences. She also tells us about how her motherhood struggle transformed her, and we delve into how every mother needs to consciously prepare herself for matrescence.
For more information, tips and this episode's show notes go to ToughMothers.com/ep16
My special presentation from The Healthy Mums Healthy Families Summit in February 2021.
See https://www.ToughMothers.com/ep15 for more information, tips and this episode's show notes.
This episode of Tough Mothers TV is about as action-packed as motherhood.
All mothers will benefit from this episode!
Because it:
- Teaches you about matrescence, the transition into motherhood – how it changes mothers’ brains and how you can use this transformation to truly thrive in motherhood.
- Explains the 50 Shades of Motherhood spectrum – a spectrum ALL mothers sit on - and teaches you strategies for how you can manoeuvre your way around the shades to initiate your happiness in motherhood.
- Gives your strategies to start training your own brain to thrive in motherhood. Truly thrive in motherhood!
There is also a FREE E-Book for you to download to start training your brain to be happier in motherhood at https://ToughMothers.com/HappyMother
- Gives you a mother moment time-out: a FREE powerful, yet brief motherhood meditation that will positively affect your brain and mind.
For more information, tips and this episode's show notes go to https://www.ToughMothers.com/ep15
For more information and Melanie's tips, see this episode's show notes www.ToughMothers.com/ep14
Warning: this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV mentions self-harm and suicide attempts. If you require help, PLEASE see your GP or the list of services at the bottom of the show notes.
When Melanie Medland found her type A-personality teenage daughter suddenly couldn’t cope with life, she was naturally alarmed. Melanie’s daughter, who was always very capable, suddenly withdrew, had trouble sleeping, forgot things and her eating patterns changed. Not having come across this before Melanie was questioning if this was just part of normal adolescence, but in her gut she knew. Her daughter was very unwell.
In this episode of the Tough Mothers Podcast, Meanie takes us into her family’s difficult time: how her daughter’s anxiety and depression made Melanie question herself and her parenting, how Mel found her strength and the language to speak to her teenage daughter, and how she uses the enormous amount of hard won experience and knowledge she gained while successfully nurturing her daughter through her illness, to support and coach parents who are facing similar battles.
For more of Melanie's expertise and information on this topic, go to www.ToughMothers.com/ep14
For more information, tips, Katie's poem and this episode's show notes, head to www.ToughMothers.com/ep13
Your postpartum (or postnatal, depending on where you live) experience will be unique. I say that because when you enter motherhood, matrescence, you enter it as your unique self, with your unique biological make-up, your unique previous experiences, your unique neuroscience.
So, you won’t know how postpartum will be for you, until you are in it.
Yes, sometimes there are neurobiological predictors, but often women are surprised when they enter their 4th trimester.
Katie R. was one of these mums. Katie felt a bit down during pregnancy and was worried about postnatal depression. However, what her 4th trimester brought was the exact opposite. Katie was up, not down!
Because Katie experienced bipolar symptoms, and not stock-standard depression or anxiety it took some time for her to get the help she needed. And not only did she find help, she also found herself.
Key takeaways from this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast:
- You will know if you don’t feel OK, and you must speak up!
- Your postpartum experience does not need to shape the rest of your life.
- Sometimes wonderful things come from our darkest experiences.
- Mental health is something that affects everyone. There is no shame in it.
Find more information, tips, support and show notes at www.ToughMothers.com/ep13
For more information, tips and this episode's show notes, head to www.ToughMothers.com/ep12
Motherhood is tough. Every woman will agree that motherhood, at some point, will throw you some curve balls. There is no right way to do motherhood, you just have to do it your way.
In this episode I have the absolute pleasure of speaking with Tracy Newell, affectionately known as Gwamma. Tracy is a mother of 5 and a grandma, hence the nickname. Today she kindly and very deeply shares her journey through motherhood, and her wisdom of how she mastered herself in motherhood following multiple miscarriages, fertility challenges and very dark times.
After listening to this conversation, you will understand why you need to find your unique way to master yourself in motherhood. Tracy’s tips will no doubt help you along the way.
In this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV you will learn:
- ✓ How to use your challenges to drive positive change in your life.
- ✓ The grief of losing a child never ends, it just changes.
- ✓ There is no roadmap to motherhood, but you will find your own way.
- ✓ How not to lose yourself in motherhood.
Find more information, tips and show notes at www.ToughMothers.com/ep12
For you free Christmas gift, more information and the show notes head to www.ToughMothers.com/ep11.
Childbirth doesn't always go to plan.
I learnt that first-hand when my first baby was born.
In this episode I share the birth story of my first baby.
In honour of his 10th birthday today, and in honour of all the mums that have shared their stories on the podcast this year, this is the warts and all account of how childbirth was for me the first time around, 10 years ago.
My biggest boy's birth was the catalyst to researching and writing my book I Wish Someone Had Told Me... - unspoken truths about what really happens to women during labour, childbirth and the first few weeks of motherhood, which as you will hear contains funny, light-hearted, yet factually- and medically-correct experiences 1000 mothers want you to know before you have your baby.
I Wish Someone Had Told Me... turns 5 this month and to celebrate I have a great gift for you. Tune in to this episode and head to the show notes www.ToughMothers.com/ep11 to claim it.
Have a wonderful holiday break. See you in 2021.
For more information, access to Tough Mothers TV and today's show notes go to: www.ToughMothers.com/ep10
“I thought my children wouldn’t change my life very much…”
When Kate Ryan, a successful business woman, became pregnant for the first time, she thought once her twins were born her life wouldn’t change very much. Kate is the first to admit, this is definitely not the case.
In this episode Kate tells us about her surprise of learning she was having twins, how bringing her babies home changed her life, and how becoming a mother changed her.
Kate very beautifully shares her experience of transitioning into motherhood (a transition all mothers can relate to) and how through her challenges she found her voice.
In this episode of the Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV you will learn:
- You are not alone if you feel you don’t know what you are doing in motherhood
- The importance of trust in yourself and others
- Simple, actionable steps to help with overwhelm during the transition into motherhood
- About your own rebirth when you have a baby
- Advice for new twin mums and mums expecting twins
For more information, access to Tough Mothers TV and today's show notes go to: www.ToughMothers.com/ep10
For more information, access to Tough Mothers TV and today's show notes go to: www.ToughMothers.com/ep9
This conversation of The Tough Mothers Podcast is different.
On this show we talk about many topics that are taboo, but postpartum/ postnatal psychosis is something we really don’t talk about.
Today Liz, a mum of boy-girl twins, is going to change that.
Liz very bravely shares with us her experience with postpartum psychosis after her children were born. She delves deep into how it felt and looked for her, and why she had to manage her two years of psychosis alone.
I feel incredibly privileged to bring you this conversation. Not only because it is very personal for Liz, but because it gives us a first-hand insight into the mental health struggles mothers can experience, and so often don’t talk about.
I hope we can all take from Liz’s story the reminder that we must look out for ourselves and each other during motherhood. Always.
Please keep asking mothers if they are ok - some mums’ struggles are so internal that we have no idea what is going on inside them.For more information, access to Tough Mothers TV and today's show notes go to: www.ToughMothers.com/ep9
Please check out www.ToughMothers.com/ep8 for this episode's show notes, more information and tips.
We are shouting matrescence from the rooftops!
After starting the matrescence conversation in episode 4 of The Tough Mothers Podcast , I had so many emails from mums saying they loved it and wanted to hear more about this topic (you can re-listen to the original matrescence episode at www.ToughMothers.com/ep4).
So, in today’s episode I bring you the matrescence marvel Linda Anderson. Linda is a life coach whose focus is on mothers during their matrescence transition, including their identity in motherhood. She is as obsessed with matrescence as I am, so together we are going to shout it from the rooftops!
Matrescence – the transition from woman to mother - is one of the most life-changing transitions a woman will ever go through. Sadly, we are still not speaking about this transformation as often and openly as we should. Consequently, women are caught off-guard by motherhood. They feel there is something wrong with them, when really it is just matrescence.
In this episode of the Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV, Linda and I dive deep and you will learn:
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What matrescence is, and how it is viewed in society.
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Answer the question: who am I now I am a mother?
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Why we must talk about matrescence openly with mums before they have their baby.
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The things you must know to navigate the split that comes with matrescence
As we go through matrescence – the transition from woman to mother – there are times when we will be plagued by subconscious negative thoughts:
For example, what if my baby stops breathing in the night?
Or: I should get the kids off their devices and outside more.
Or: I am a bad mother!
These thoughts will come. However, we must be aware that they are there. Otherwise we give our subconscious negative thoughts the power to ruin our lives. You must take control of your mind and thereby change your brain.
In this this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV you will learn:
- Our constant internal chatter dictates the quality of our life
- What subconscious negative thoughts are
- To identify your true thoughts - fact vs fiction
- How subconscious negative thinking is destructive
- The 5 evidence-based steps you can take today to change your subconscious negative thoughts
For more information, links and tips visit www.ToughMothers.com/ep7
Lydia Nicholson had all the support a mother could ask for when she had her first baby. Although her birth was traumatic – as first births so often are – she was surrounded by family, friends and a tight and incredibly supportive mothers group. She felt held, understood and supported.
When she was six months pregnant with her second baby Lydia, her husband and their 15 month-old moved to Paris, France, for her husband’s work. Ooh là là!
Sounds glamorous, doesn’t it?
It wasn’t.
In this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV Lydia shares with us the challenges of giving birth and raising children in a foreign, non-English speaking, country. How her experience shaped her and changed her, and how she used her isolation and loneliness to go inwards to get to know herself and find what she needed, and how this allowed her to grow as a woman and mother.
In this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV you will learn:
- The importance of resourcefulness – What to create for yourself if you are having/raising your baby away from your support network
- Tips on how to combat sadness and loneliness in a foreign country
- How to look for the silver lining in every cloud
- The importance of meeting your own needs as a mother
For more information, details and show notes go to www.ToughMothers.com/ep6
“You are going to lose your baby.”
What happens when your worst fear in pregnancy comes true?
In this very deep and personal interview Kara Peel, mum of three, talks about the tragic loss of her first baby, Lucy.
Lucy was born at 20 weeks.
In this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast Kara delves into her grief of Lucy’s death. She very courageously speaks about everything from how she felt leaving the hospital, to the all-consuming grief she experienced, to how she personally grew out of the trauma of losing her only daughter.
As baby loss, including miscarriage, is so common, I would like to advise that this episode may be triggering from some viewers and listeners. Kara really wanted to share her true journey with you as she is an advocate for talking about baby loss, the grief it brings, and the awareness we need to help raise to better support parents who have lost their child.
This is a must-listen episode if you have experienced baby loss or love someone who has been through it, or is currently experiencing it.
For more information, resources and show notes head to www.ToughMothers.com/ep5
Every woman goes through a developmental transition as she becomes a mother.
This transition is physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual and social.
Women are transformed when they become mothers.
This developmental transition is called matrescence.
For some reason we don't talk about matrescence. So, often women undergo this life-changing transition fearful that something is wrong with them.
In today's episode I answer the question of Laura, about her feelings during her postpartum period, and why everyone must know what matrescence is.
This episode is part of the series Q&A Wednesday. For further information about this episode or to ask a question yourself please go to www.ToughMothers.com/ep4
Hands up if you want lose baby weight?
Most mothers focus on getting back to their pre-baby figure or weight, after they have had a baby.
In today's episode internationally-recognised dietitian Rachael Wilson joins me to talk about how our bodies change when we have a baby, and how we can learn to embrace our new figures.
Rachael believes that we should throw out all the scales and measuring units, and instead focus on nourishing ourselves in a kind way - which leads to far better results.
For more information and show notes please go to www.ToughMothers.com/ep3
Note: There are 2 sharp tones at 17 minutes and 23 minutes into the interview. I apologise for these and hope they don't give you a fright.
For more information please go to www.ToughMothers.com/ep2
I was lying on the couch wrapped in blankets. It was December in Australia, so it was hot! Yet I was shivering; my anxiety had total control of me.
My third baby was only a couple of months old, and unlike with my first two, the transition into motherhood pulled the rug out from under me. Literally.
I was in the middle of a severe postpartum breakdown.
In hindsight I totally see the perfect storm that was brewing. With 3 other kids under 3.5 years, no family nearby, a husband that travelled a lot for work, a terminally ill father in-law, and a baby that never slept for more than 20 minutes at a time, it was chaos.
I suffered.
And then I grew. And from my own personal battle Tough Mothers was born.
In this very special and private interview with my husband, Marcus, we deeply discuss my own personal postnatal breakdown.
We delve into what caused my breakdown, the lead up to it, and what Marcus and I implemented to not only save me, but create an amazing life for ourselves.
My method made me a better mum, a better wife, a better person, and lead to the development of Tough Mothers, to support mums in a practical, evidence-based way during their challenging transition into motherhood.
For more information and show notes please go to www.ToughMothers.com/ep2
Rebecca Anderson is mum to a spirited three year-old boy. She has lived with depression for most of her life, and thought she had the postpartum period sorted when it came to her mental health. However, after she had her baby, postnatal depression had other plans.
In this episode Bec shares with us her story of deep depression and anxiety, and how she attempted to take her own life. She shares how her depression has affected her motherhood journey, and techniques she uses along the way to help herself thrive.
Bec is a wonderful, bubbly woman. You wouldn’t know she is depressed. Which is why this episode is so important. You will learn why it is so critical to speak up if you are not feeling OK, how common it actually is to struggle in motherhood, and what you can do about it.
This episode is not just for mothers. If you have a new mother in your family or inner circle, please listen to Bec’s story to see how integral close connections are.
For show notes please go to www.ToughMothers.com/ep1